#also how does this work for fic writers who have especially long fics that update over years?

[secretsoftheuniverse1987]

lots of questions about why ao3 stats bring the entire fic into the new year when you update it. or maybe just one question which is why? and also what if it weren't like that?

[kanagenwrites]

Hey folks. My name is Kanagen (It's pronounced Ka-na-ngen. Kana is fine.), and I'm a writer. I mostly write sci-fi with a more or less sapphic bent, and I'm not shy about putting lewd content in what I write because fuck petty moralism.

I'm active in the Human Domestication Guide writing community, where apart from being an author (see below), I'm also a Loret, which means I help maintain and update the lore of the setting, help new creators with questions about it or how to fit a story into it, and so on. All of my publicly available fiction at the moment is HDG content, but I plan on working more on my own original settings and concepts in the future.

I have a patreon, where I post my current long-form project's drafts chapter by chapter, once weekly. I also occasionally talk about my writing process. I'm hoping to expand content there in the future as well.

I don't use social media very much because I remember what the internet used to be like before walled gardens and techbros ruined it. (You kids really don't know what you're missing.) Nevertheless, the life of a freelance writer rather demands I put myself out there somehow, so here I am. Ask me questions, behold the weird stuff I reblog, and try not to get too parasocial with me. I'm just a weird lady who puts words in funny shapes.

Bibliography

Long-Form Fiction

No Gods, No Masters - A revolutionary leftist copes with the subtle differences between her own idea of the perfect world and the just-a-little-off version of it the Affini offer. First novel-length work in the Tillandsia Trilogy; highly suggested you read this before The Floret in the Mirror and especially Freedom's Ember.

The Floret in the Mirror - A mystery/thriller about identity, digitization, and impossible simulated lewdness. Content warning for amnesia resulting from traumatic brain injury as part of the setup. Sequel to No Gods, No Masters.

Freedom's Ember (ongoing) - Sixty years after the Affini conquered her world, a woman clings to her independence; sixty years after being frozen for cryogenic flight from the Affini, a woman struggles to discover who she really is when freed from her father's influence. What is freedom, and what does it mean in the context of the Compact? Sequel to No Gods, No Masters and The Floret in the Mirror, conclusion of the Tillandsia Trilogy.

Sui Generis - A martian attorney living on Earth finds adjusting to life with the Affini easier than most; she was already keeping her wife as a pet before they arrived. The real question is, where's that strange jealousy coming from?

Short Fiction

Mainspring - A Terran secret agent is captured by the Affini, trapped by artist for whom his body is a canvas, and she means to make of him her magnum opus. Wind-up doll content, and probably my most commonly cited story for "this rewired my brain"-style reactions.

Reading the Leaves - A tea-obsessed barista, an affini new to humanity, and a sweet (if awkward) romance culminating in a very raunchy ending. Entry for the HDG February Fluff Fic Jam 2024.

The Fifth Fundamental Force - This story is a silly joke. It should not be taken seriously, though many inevitably do.

Aftertaste (stalled) - A former quadrillionaire and epicure who just barely avoided domestication is tracked down by an affini culinary anthropologist who wants to use his brain to reconstruct a lost flavor using his long-buried memory - he was the last human to ever taste bluefin tuna. This fic is only sporadically updated because the stars must precisely align for my brain to be in a state to write boyliker fic. Sorry, I'm just really gay, y'all.

[olderthannetfic]

Hi OTNF!! Sometimes I like to read this fandom problem blog that receives submissions from people all over Tumblr, recently this was posted and I wanted to know what you thought of it: The tag types of "Tags update as story is written" or "additional tags to be added" or "Rating may change." Fuck those. I don't care if you add some extra benign tags as the story goes along, and you realise you wanna add more content that's just there, or you realise your fic maybe went a bit harder than you expected. Some stories get their own life. But at the same time, if you knew you'd want to add certain content, or that the rating was gonna go way up from what you tagged in the beginning, why did you not tag it from the start? Especially when the tagged content becomes a big part of the story, or influences the story strongly. And then you find out that the Author already had been planning adding this type of content for a long time, they just FOR SOME STUPID-ASS REASON didn't wanna add the tag until it actually happens. You're supposed to tag so the people can make an informed decision if they wanna commit to your fic, so for the love of the tagging-system, actually TAG ALL YOUR SHIT FROM THE START. Same shit for changing ratings. I hate it when someone plans from the start to make the story explicit, but doesn't change the rating until they've reached the NSFW sections. There's a reason there's a tagging system. So do you just not understand how that works? Or are you just being kind of as ass on purpose? This does not help when avoiding stories with specific content you try to exclude from your results. It's even dumber if the reason is to "avoid spoiling the fic readers", because anyone coming later to the fic is going to be "spoiled" by the tags regardless. And if you know you wanna add porn, or gore, then rate the story appropriately. Rather categorise it too high, than fuck around with people who don't wanna read explicit content. As a writer who uses the Archive, I want to put my 2 cents in. When I'm writing a fic, a long fic for example, I want to tag the stuff that actually DOES appear at that time so that I'm not clogging other tags/people don't think I'm spamming to inflate my readership (And I DEFINITELY do not want something I worked hard on to get reported for spam). I do get the frustration at reading a fic and then something changes like the rating, but as a writer, sometimes things go off script and one thing that's rated T or M might eventually become E just based off the writing juices doing it's thing(tm). To me, the "Additional tags to be added" is kind of like CNTW, it's something the reader has to make a decision if they want to risk getting invested/read that particular fic. It feels very much like a "damned if you do/damned if you don't" situation. What are some of your thoughts on something like this?

--

Writers are always going to vary in their favorite approach, and readers who act like there's one right answer are idiots.

For me personally, even if I'm posting as I write, I do have a solid idea of where the fic is going, and I strongly prefer—both as a reader and writer—to have all of the tags in place at the beginning.

I also don't like over-tagging for warnings and only want to see/use tags for the basic main content of the fic, which does make it easier to know ahead of time than if I tagged every tiny thing.

I think spoilers are a dumb reason not to tag things.

So I agree with the complainer's tastes...

...but at the same time, they're acting like these ought to be rules, and AO3 is designed to accommodate a lot of different people with different styles, so I think their attitude leaves something to be desired.

[forever-will-last]

HEY!! what're your fav cadina fanfics? and do you have any suggestions for new fanfic writers 😭

omg okay so i saw this morning while i was at work and knew this had to wait until i got home to get my FULL attention and then i had to stay at work late so here we go!!! this is LONG so i put it all under the cut!

cadina fic recs (first, some ones from my friends, and then many others i heavily recommend, in no particular order):

Get in, Loser! We're going... to fall in love? - SUPER cute slow burn made by the incredible amazing talented stunning 16Sydd16. Genuinely one of my favorite Cadina fics of all time.

ANYTHING by the Cadina Captain herself, Chisamaya. Maya's been holding down the Cadina fort for YEARS and has 13 INCREDIBLE Cadina fics on her AO3. She's also on Tumblr @chisamayas and posts super cute fanart of Mean Girls and Cadina all the time! My personal favorite fic of hers is Collared (very smutty pet play fic) and I will live and die a Collared stan.

can i come and sweep you off your feet? - super adorable (and angsty at some points, especially for poor regina) fame AU by my very talented friend ninesixtheenths / @girlkisser-wieners on Tumblr! i absolutely also recommend her rugby fic, which is rejanis but is 10/10.

(mean girls) series by anonymous - this is from another friend of mine who posts these anonymously instead of tying them to her account. there are SO MANY good ones in here (12 at time of writing this) including a soulmates au, a superhero au, and some GREAT character studies of both regina and cady. there are a few rejanis fics in this series too but they're all phenomenal.

okay onto fics that aren't from my friends but i heavily recommend, in no particular order:

Mirror Me Back - okay i know i said no particular order but this one's a lie. if you haven't read MMB yet, stop what you're doing and read it right now. it's very smut heavy, however, this is genuinely the fic that got me into writing for this fandom and it is one of the best fics i've ever read across any fandom. every day i perform rituals for an update /j

On Predators and Pack Dynamics - omegaverse fic that is genuinely incredible. obviously very smut heavy but i love the characterization of them here and i also often pray for updates on this one.

if i could tell her (how she's everything to me) - role reversal & arts high school AU from 2020 where cady is the popular one and regina is a little socially awkward. very cute, very sweet, very fun.

Pretty Girls - mean girls 2024 rewrite where cady and regina were anonymous pen pals before cady moved to evanston. really loved this one!! one of the first i read in the tag.

To You, I Can Admit That I'm Just Too Soft for All of It - grad school au that i absolutely LOVE. the chapters are unordered snippets but they are so cute and fun. the author also does some social media stuff with it, i believe on tumblr, so it's a cute little tie in!!

you would find her in a polaroid picture - SUPER good college au!! genuinely recommend anything this author writes tbh i adore their stuff!!

i choose you and me, religiously - once again recommending anything this author writes as well. SO talented. this one is a slow burn idiots in love au and it's just. chef's kiss. muah. i love it.

to answer the other part of your question, about the writing advice, my genuine main piece of advice is to just keep writing. even if it's stuff you don't intend to publish, or a half-baked idea. write drabbles for yourself and just let the words get on the page. i used to publish in a different fandom circa 2017-2019 and hadn't published in YEARS until i started writing a thousand pictures (well, really, don't look for me, but ya know, this all REALLY took off with a thousand pictures). despite the fact that i haven't published in a very long time i never really stopped writing. my google drive is full of folders of assorted drabbles of self indulgent bullshit. snippets from other fandoms, self insert scenarios, some original ideas that with a lot more cooking, could potentially be novel worthy one day. (i am a LONG ways off from that though lol)

my point is, publishing fic can be daunting. even writing coherent or long enough fic to make a cohesive story can be daunting at first. it's better to write for yourself and get the practice of writing even just singular or small series of scenes if you aren't ready for a full fic yet. writing should be fun! make sure you're having fun doing it and trying not to stress the details too much!

if you have any other questions about writing please feel free to ask!! i love talking about my process and stuff and am always willing to share gjsnkgng

[ladysomething]

Well, I lasted three update emails. I was holding out on starting your new fic so I could binge a lot of chapters at once, but after getting the update email today I just couldn’t wait and to no one’s surprise, I loved every minute of it! Such an interesting world you’ve created and it’s only going to get better (for us, for Charles who knows).

I do have to ask since I’m not a fic writer - when you say you’re expecting this to be around 150-180k is that daunting for you as a writer or exciting? Right now you’re averaging around 8,000 words a chapter so with that average that’s around 20 chapters and with possible (please don’t view this as pressure) weekly updates that’s 20ish weeks of fic! I’m always so curious if this seems overwhelming to writers? I know as a reader it’s so damn exciting.

lol can you tell I’m a numbers girl and not a writer?

ah thank you! I'm so glad you're enjoying it, and I totally understand the urge to want to wait. I'm excited you're coming along on the journey anyway!

moving on to your question, I'll try to be succinct but to nobody's surprise I am an absolute yapper so it probably will be a long and winding answer.

I think firstly, you kind of almost explained it yourself, but in the opposite way. I'm a writer, not a numbers girl haha. I personally (though other writers may have different experiences) don't really think about how many chapters it will be, or how many weeks of uploads, so there is really no opportunity for it to be daunting because it doesn't really enter my mind.

The outline I have for this fic IS broken into chapters, but I already am not sticking to it. When I'm writing, I often explore a scene in much more detail (and therefore many more words) that I expected when writing the note for scene. e.g. today's chapter was like "1. Charles goes into pre-heat 2. max claims Charles 3. Pierre shows up" and then it ended up being 10k. I just finished writing chapter 6, which is also at 10k, and I've ended up having to shift half of what I outlined for chapter 6 into chapter 7 because I found a natural end point and I didn't want to end up with a 20k chapter.

so, for me at least, when I write I make a lot of decisions based on my instincts. does this scene need more, or is it dragging? is this chapter complete, or does more need to be added? is there too much in this chapter, and should I split it?

all of which is to say - my estimate of 150-180k is based on how much I have written so far (55k) and at what point in the story am I up to (I honestly don't think act 1 is done yet). I suspect my estimate of 150-180k is very low, and it's not getting to that word count that's daunting, because it's not what I'm actually working towards.

what IS daunting is trying to tell the story itself. are the characters right? are their intentions coming through? am I hiding what I want to hide? do I have a note of plot I've started at the beginning so I make sure I follow it through to the end? working towards answering those questions is what I'm thinking about, and that is always daunting, no matter whether its 10k or 200k (though.... PWP is always fairly mindless hahaha).

but it IS exciting. especially when people love something. I've written a lot of fic in my time, long and short, complete and not complete, and I can absolutely guarantee that the difference between exciting and daunting is how people react. when people love something ... the nerves are there, but they're eclipsed by the sheer joy of knowing you brought a smile to somebody's face with your writing.

not to get sappy, but I whole-heartedly believe that my purpose on this earth is to make people happy through my writing. if I know that I'm doing that, I could write 200k fic after 200k fic and die a happy woman.

I hope that kind of answered your question anon! long and winding, but fairly thorough? haha

[goodlifewrites]

The Fic is Done...Now What

Any time you complete some sort of project, it's good to have a postgame assessment of things. The project is done and with that comes a sense of closure, except you still have all these thoughts and nowhere to put them. So I'm reactivating this blog just to get my thoughts on the end of this minor thing I did.

Writing the Potters and the Weasleys was difficult, not because of issues of writers block or anything like that. It was difficult because after the first few chapters, it simply became a chore to finish. I took nearly years long breaks at points just due to having little desire to open up the word document. Life was busy at times and slow at other points, but when it ebbed it wasn't as though I started banging out words. For me, it was all about the destination, not the journey. The journey sucked. It was like going antiquing in Maine with your parents when all you wanted was to get to the coast and see the whales finally.

I've noticed some of my favorite writers have similarly stopped updating fics they were working on or never bothering to start the long-awaited next installment. I wonder if its because life is getting in the way, they've run into a creative wall, or they've simply lost interest as I often have.

Outside approval certainly plays into it. We can all lie to ourselves that we write for just ourselves, but we also put it out to the public for consumption. There is indeed a little high you feel when someone praises something you created, warranted or not. But in my specific case, the kind reviews started at a high and then gradually slowed. By the time my fic concluded, it was a trickle. And that's on me for not consistently updating. If we go on the assumption that my story was good (which it might not be!), then it proves the point that quality alone does not lead to popularity. Consistent engagement is what drives views and the accolades that come with it. Surely if I was consistent here at least, I'd get more attention.

But we tell ourselves we don't write for attention, and that is probably true especially at the beginning. Yet we know its there and part of us wants it. Again, we publicly post these stories for a reason. So if I'm honest with myself, the ebbing of reviews must have played into my antipathy towards writing in some manner. I just want to be honest about that.

Writing fanfic is one of the least consequential things I've done in my life that still feels noteworthy and in need of reflection on. But it's not really a topic that has a natural avenue for spewing thoughts. This is the best we have.

Ideally, I'd like a conversation on my fic, where some people chime in with questions or comments like they often do for far more popular and accomplished writers. But absent that, I'll just post thoughts on different characters, themes, plotlines, etc as well as whether I plan on writing anything else (spoiler: likely no but i have ideas)

Lastly, I do want to thank everyone who stuck with the story and shared positive thoughts! I really was humbled (and sometimes the exact opposite) by people liking my writing. The best comments I got were people saying how well I got the characters, which was very important to me. Also, I must thank @thedistantdusk for being an awesome beta and soundboard. She's extremely busy yet still found the time to help me out. There are few fanfic authors who are genuinely strong writers who could carry a story without having the crutch of established characters and universes. Dusk is one of them.

So hope to chat more as I need continued validation!

[ackackh]

Hi happy talk shop Tuesday to my favorite writer!!💛 my question for u is what inspired the original characters in ur fics? Eddies family in our hemisphere & especially Sophia from the tulip- those characters are written soo beautifully and have stuck with me long after I’ve read them :’)

Also omg a new chapter of God is a Bluegill!!! how does it feel to be back writing it!

Lord not me crying in the club bc you called me favorite 😭💛

Ahah would you believe me if I told you I’ve been kicking around a different/updated version of Our Hemisphere for the past few months? No real promises and the original would absolutely stay as is—but I’ve changed so much as a writer and I have so many more ideas for those characters and I wanna write with them again!

-I’ve never been one to research The Real Guys when it comes to fic bc I’m working with a character and not a historical figure, and fandom at least seems to believe that Eddie has a million siblings so I wanted to hop on that train! My dad grew up as the second-youngest of 13 siblings and the absolutely wild shit they got up to? Incredible. And Eddie was so good at working with the guys in The Pacific I couldn’t help but picture him as the eldest, especially with my darling baby Ruthie, I literally love her so much, I just wanted to give Eddie someone he could pour all his love into and someone who would love him unconditionally. I’m the youngest sibling, I know all about idolizing older brothers.

-Joe, my other love, isn’t the villain of course, just someone with a lot of emotions he doesn’t know how to handle. He came out of the idea that there were lots of guys who 4F who became really depressed and sometimes took their own lives. Joe spent a lot of time resenting Eddie for having what he couldn’t. Then, even worse, he’s not even grateful for it, he comes home all fucked up over it and Joe didn’t even get to go! Add onto it that Eddie’s sleeping with a man and Joe just… can’t deal. He’s just sad, and he deserves better.

-fun fact, the Ruth in my newer version of Our Hemisphere does not immediately take to Eddie upon his return bc she literally doesn’t remember him. And now there’s this fuckin dude? Just in her house? Excuse me? She warms to him eventually tho, and then they’re inseparable

And omg Soph, my angel, my absolute shitster. When I wrote The Tulip I was friends with this girl who had a little sister who was like 3(?) at the time and she was sooo smart it was a riot. I based a lot of Sophia around that idea. She’s the kind of kid you love to death but who can’t stop getting in trouble because she’s so observant and has no tact (bc she’s in like, preschool). Lot’s of gray hairs for Walt. Ray only encourages her.

AHH THANK YOU FOR MENTIONING GIAB. I am like, beside myself with happiness that I’ve been able to continue it! And now that ch 3 is out it’s been way easier to continue into ch 4, which has like 2k words so far. I have so much story in my head here, like, it fucking goes places. Some shit fucking happens in later chapters and I can’t wait to show you!

[bg3-ficrecs]

FAQs about BG3 Fic Reviews

Hello and welcome to BG3 Fic Reviews! We believe in ongoing and continuing engagement with the BG3 writing community, and as such as would like to encourage fellow authors to submit asks through our asks channel/portal should they have any questions pertaining to what we do and how we do it. This post serves as a master list (of sorts) of our responses to some of the questions we have received, and will be updated as and when we can.

If you have any questions that have not been answered by us previously, please feel free to send through an ask and we will respond (or include the answer here with an update) as soon as possible.

Last updated: 18 March 2024

Question: What kind of BG3 fics do you review?

We review any and all BG3 fan fiction. This includes NSFW, controversial/heavy topics, AUs, post-canon, etc. We do not have any limitations/restrictions on the kinds of fan fiction that is submitted to us, as long as it can fairly be classified as falling within the "Baldur's Gate" fandom and franchise.

Question: Does the fic have to be hosted/posted on AO3?

AO3 is easiest for us to use at present, but we don't want to exclude any writer simply because they haven't been granted an account with AO3 yet. This would adversely affect new writers especially due to the sometimes long waiting list for an AO3 invite, and we don't want to discourage anyone by limiting reviews to AO3 alone. So, regardless of where your work is hosted, please feel free to send it to us. We are currently working on improving our work pipeline to ensure we can include work from other platforms, for instance by including 'external work' in our review queue collection on AO3.

Question: Do fics have to be completed to be submitted to the team and/or be reviewed?

No. We happily accept in-progress works as part of our review queue. As BG3 fic authors ourselves, we understand that writing longer form works can sometimes take a considerable amount of time, especially as real-life responsibilities and realities come into play, and as inspiration ebbs and flows. We value all work equally, whether they be one-shots or in-progress long form works.

Question: What is your stance on controversial topics and tagging?

We are resolutely pro-fiction and believe in the freedom that can be found in fiction. That said, we are also firmly pro-consent and favour community safety, and therefore support tagging as a mechanism to assist readers in navigating the content with which they choose to engage. We share the views expressed by BG3 fanfic author Tavyliasin in this post she has written on the matter here. In this post, Tavyliasin has also included a great deal of incredibly useful information regarding what authors should consider tagging and how to tag effectively on different platforms. Tags also help us to mind our own personal boundaries as individuals when we review fic submitted to us, and the individual members of the team are then able to choose fics that align with our area of interest or avoid those fics that we know won't resonate with a particular member of the team. For example, person A may enjoy reading angst, while person B prefers fluff and smut. We choose fic in our queue accordingly so that no author is negatively affected because they happen to cross the metaphorical desk of someone who does not enjoy that particular trope/kink/what have you. No fic is ever assigned to a reviewer for this reason - as individuals, we choose them ourselves from the team's queue.

Please follow us for more updates and as always, should you have any questions please don't hesitate to send an ask and we will respond as soon as is possible.

[scary-grace]

💗 Ridiculously long message ahead 💗

Hello, first of all: happy belated New Year!

Now, I would like to say that I've been obsessively reading all of your Shigaraki fics on ao3 and I always forget to leave a comment while reading them so I want to share my thanks via tumblr.

the new postmodern age - this was the very first fic of yours I read because I too was upset about the canon ending, and this fic delivered everything I could've wanted and needed and MORE. I was immensely happy to find out that you had many other works in your ao3 because I KNEW they would be every bit of great as this 💖

Love Like Ghosts - Permanently altered my brain chemistry. Kinda forgot it was a mha fic by the third chapter because the world building was SO GOOD and I was enraptured by it. I feel like you could make an actual novel out of this. Truly the best use of ghosts I've ever had the pleasure of reading. I might have pulled an all-nighter to read all of it in one sitting. I also love when you write from the other person's perspective and Haunting for Beginners will live on in my memories alongside the main fic 💖💖💖💖

Enough to Go By - I consider this canon for the sake of my own heart. I don't care what Horikoshi said about the fate of the villains, why does he think he knows so much (/jk). I wait patiently for the updates like housewife looking wistfully at her mailbox, waiting for a letter from her husband who's away at war in a foreign land.

what I can't remember now + if my heart was a house - ngl I saw the tags and for a moment I considered not clicking because I was scared for my own feelings, but I just couldn't deny myself the joy of reading more of your writing. 10/10 I cried while reading the prequel, once again patiently waiting for updates whenever you're able to provide them. I don't know if you're into musicals but I gotta say that my mind kept playing "Would You Fall in Love With Me Again" from EPIC: the musical (based on the Odyssey, very last song), specifically Penelope's last verse. To explain my comparison: Any EPIC fan will tell you that they cried like a baby while listening for the first time.

Opposites Attract - Shigaraki was NOT a character I would've ever thought of being a rom-com protagonist but I'll be damned, you changed my mind. I love a good misunderstanding trope when it makes the plot silly instead of frustrating.

Off-Script - "the opposite of a meet-cute" so true but it's still so entertaining <3

Expiation - once again, I forget these are mha characters because the AU is just THAT good <3

There's also the one-shots but I've been rambling too much I fear.

In conclusion: I love every iteration of Shigaraki that you write. Very interesting plots and settings aside, I think my favorite part of your fics is your characterization. You acknowledge the bad parts of the villains, make use of their canon backstories and traumas, but don't try to woobify them. I'm HERE for the social commentary and the things Horikoshi seemed to be building-up to but backed out at the last second. Your Midoriyas also make me very happy, like that's my GOAT right there (pointing at human rights lawyer!Midoriya).

Anyways, I appreciate your mind and the time you spend writing incredible things for free. Have a good whatever-time-of-the-day-it-is <3

~ kay 🌻

Oh my gosh, this ASK. I'm so upset that my inbox tried to hide it from me! I've been having some serious writer's block the last two days or so, and your kind words made me feel better in an instant. I'm so sorry that it took me a while to get to it, and I'm sure I'm going to be awkward while trying to answer, but just know that the awkwardness is the result of absurd levels of enthusiasm!

I can't express how nice it was to see you address so many of the fics in your ask! I know I write a lot, and my secret fear is that everyone's getting annoyed with me. All of your compliments are things I'm going to treasure, but I'm especially thankful for what you said about Enough to Go By, what I can't remember now/if my heart was a house, and Love Like Ghosts. Those fics mean so much to me, for so many different reasons, and to hear that they also meant something to you is wonderful!

It might interest you to know that the Epic song you mentioned was mentioned by somebody else in relation to those fics, too! I was not prepared for what it was going to be like when I first listened to it and I ended up crying on my couch for a little while. Your message makes me even more excited to keep working on the fic! There's a lot of things I'm looking forward to with it.

Finally, thank you so much for your comments on the characterization, and on the various Midoriyas! I have a complex relationship with canon Midoriya, but ultimately I do think he has the impulse to help others and do good, and having him reject the system and become a human rights lawyer in 'what I can't remember now' was my piece of wish fulfillment. He's going to make an appearance or two in 'if my heart was a house' as well, so he'll be back! Happy belated New Year! I hope you know you're a wonderful person <3 have an excellent day/night/whatever, and thank you for the ask!

[averagejoesolomon]

Okay, not really an ask (this is about to be SO long, I'm so sorry)... but I thought I'd say that, as I suspected, Full Circle has made my GG reread even harder. In the best way possible. There are just so many moments that have even more depth to them after reading this fic.

In DJGC it was seeing the Circle start to come after Cammie after seeing Matt start to go after the Circle, and how he never wanted it to get to that point (or even imagined it would). Also I feel like Macey's character development was somehow touched by how you've written the Cameron sister's background, especially with regards to Abby, her and Macey's connection has another layer to it now. And after rereading Full Circle and seeing Matt's unwavering loyalty to Joe and the lengths that he's gone to protect him, seeing the intelligence world turn on Joe in OGSY was just heartbreaking to say the least because it's everything Matt was trying to spare him from. And THE JOURNAL!! I'm not even gonna touch on that. And in OSOT...... yeah, I'm actually still recovering from that. Haven't reread UWS yet, but I'm assuming that will also wreck me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for making this series an even more interesting read. The sad moments are even sadder but it's fun in every way and it's made me love these books even more. I really didn't think that was possible. Anyways, I just enjoy reading Full Circle so much and appreciate all the work you've put into it!!

P.S. I also noticed that your blog is down and with it the "Will Full Circle update tonight?" button. So I was wondering if I could ask when the next update will be? Again, love this fic!

This is SUCH a compliment and the highest praise a fic writer can get—thank you, thank you, thank you. That is always the goal with what I write. I view fic as such a powerful too for adding depth to stories and taking more time to explore the human experience than one might find in a traditionally published book. It is seriously such a privilege to do exactly that for the GG series.

You've touched on so many points from the original series that I think about when writing Full Circle, and it's so fulfilling to know that they hit like I hope they do. Macey and Abby definitely have a deeper bond when you give Abby an heiress background (and, btw, so do Rachel and Macey—because it's Rachel who lets her in). Matt and Joe are the driving force being the whole story and it does hurt to see what's left of them in the original series. And the journal is the thing that made me want to write this story all those years ago.

Ultimately, I write Full Circle because I can't help myself. This story was going to come out of me one day, one way or another. But I am so so so happy that it happened now, when I could share it with others who are also amped about adding depth to this beloved series. Thank you, seriously, thank you for sharing this one with me.

[ashilrak]

ahhhh i've been trying to subscribe to that idea of posting despite it not being "perfect" and for the most part i'm happy with it and totally recommend. but sometimes i get such intrusive thoughts when i read other fics and they're so good and i think about mine and i know i shouldn't compare, it takes time and work and it doesn't mean people don't enjoy my fics etc etc but there's a shame that creeps in that makes me want to hide and delete them sometimes. 😅

oh and i also have adhd so i get so many ideas but i keep bouncing between them. sometimes they're for multi-chapter fics but i disappear in-between bc my brain decided to jump into a different fandom for x amount of time before bouncing back. i know i write for myself and all but i still feel guilty and ashamed when i leave people who clearly enjoy the story for months before updating. have you ever experienced this? how do you deal with it?

Hi! I've experienced all of this. At some points, it's been the sort of thing that has torn me up and at others it's been negligible.

For me, it comes back to writing for myself. It's very easy to get caught up with wanting to do something for the readers, especially when I know how haunted I personally am by fics that I've adored reading that remain unfinished. There are some unfinished fics I have that I've tried to come back to when I've returned to fandoms and it'd take re-outlining to get back into it, and at that point I'd rather start over.

The key to accepting this is accepting the nature of fanfiction. Every creative has started an idea and just not had it take flight — maybe it's not the right time, maybe it's not quite a full idea, or maybe they realize it's not one they care to do anything with. If you try an idea for a novel and it doesn't go anywhere, no one will ever know. If you try an idea for a fanfiction, you probably posted those first couple chapters online.

I have friends of mine who have gotten 80% into writing a novel and couldn't decide on an ending so abandoned it for another project. This is the sort of thing that happens all the time, it's just that with fanfic you're usually sharing the rough draft as you go.

Discipline does play a factor in finishing fic, of course, but I think there's a line between having the discipline to keep writing a story you're passionate about when motivation is lacking and continuing to force an idea that just isn't taking shape (for whatever reason).

The only way you're going to ever avoid this entirely is if you write a fic beginning to end before you ever start posting. That's not the most fanfic writers' experience, and that's okay! But it means writers and readers risk fics that will never be finished (for any number of reasons). This is why there are a good number of readers out there who only read completed fics.

Fanfic is a hobby, and I don't think it's healthy to tear yourself to shreds or force yourself through something you hate for something that's supposed to be relaxing and fun. Parts of it can be stressful — I've run several gift exchanges and loved doing it, but that doesn't mean there weren't points I was tearing my hair out over defaults and unresponsive participants — but ultimately, it's supposed to be something that brings you joy.

Long fics are an undertaking, and sometimes writing is the last thing you want to do, but the project as a whole is satisfying. I do think there's a lot of value in long-term projects, when the day-to-day can sometimes suck but you know you're working toward a goal. Achieving that goal is huge, but it's also hard, and it isn't the only goal someone could have with writing fic.

If that is a goal you have, there are ways to work toward achieving it. But, how to do that (especially in the face of ADHD) is an entirely different conversation.

And to address the point of comparisons, I don't think it's something that will ever go away. It's to be human, I think. But I have two favorite ways of dealing with that. The first is to separate myself as a reader and a writer. I write because I enjoy it and I read because I enjoy it. If I am reading something that is absolutely amazing, sure I'd love to one day be able to produce that, but more importantly in that moment, I'm really enjoying reading it. The second way is to try to learn from the writing I love. I'll take a step back and ask myself what about it do I love and how are they achieving that? How can I learn from that and bring it into my own work? For me, these are two separate actions. I could read the same work twice through these different lenses and have entirely different experiences.

Ultimately, fandom is for fun and that's the most important thing 🩷

[akahellcat-moved]

I believe I said I would write a very long comment about Days in Violet a while ago so better late than ever. Get ready cause this might be long. And scatterbrained.

Let me tell how much of a good thing it is that I found this story and you took a break from writing it when they had already kissed. Especially since they weren’t in a good place before the lake scene. The anguish, the angst, the almost tragedy. At least with the happy chapter, if you stopped writing it, I could pretend that it had a happy ending, you know? This storied would have pLagUEd my mINd like you would not fucking believe. I mean it still does but at least not in an anguished way.

It also helped that I looked up Boston Marriage just to double check and the definition was “historically, the cohabitation of two wealthy women, independent of financial support from a man”. So I’m assuming there better be a happy ending. But also “wealthy” 👀👀?

But also I found the playlist! Which is great because I listen to music instead of thinking actual thoughts. The song From Eden? Chef’s kiss. It is now one of my favorite songs to exist. The song in relation the story? Double Chef’s kiss. I don’t know if you went that deep when you were choosing the songs, but the in-depth analysis I could give on the lyrics in relation to the story?? If it was possible to send a word doc through tumblr I might. There are other song choices to praise but that’s the one that’s sticking out right now.

May I also praise you in Yelena’s decision to wear men’s clothes? I think we definitely her decision to not give a flying fuck about what people care about her clothes and it works for her. We all saw it in Hawkeye when she wore a fur jacket, an I Love New York Tshirt, and an abundance of chain necklaces. If her clothing style is a little out there in modern times I can totally see her breaking the norm back then. In anyone else I feel like my reaction to both eras of dress would be “weird but you do you boo”, but then on Yelena: insert the Lady Gaga “amazing, show-stopping”meme.

I also love your characterization of Yelena and Kate. Yelena’s out see she’s seen some of the worst in humanity and I think you captured her sadness/world-weariness that we see in canon. Kate also has this almost innocent or light that Yelena is drawn to and falls in love with.

Sorry for the long, long comment! I just want Kate to abandon her mother and run away with Yelena and live happily ever after in New York. Is that too much to ask? I can’t wait for the next update but also no pressure, live your life. I will literally wait however long (though preferably within the next decade or at least year).

Please never apologize for the long comments! This message gave me LIFE.

Let me start off by saying that all that you pointed out was intentional from the get go. The reason why it's been now a year since I wrote anything DiV related is because I got stuck in trying to make the last 1/3 of the story as deliberate and as thought out as everything so far.

I did stop at that exact point because I wouldn't bear it to stop at an angsty point because I am a reader as well as a writer and I wouldn't have wanted to leave the people who read my fics hanging. I mean I still have but there is that 'soft' happy semi-ending there to tide you all over until I pick it up again.

Yelena's choice of clothes is definitely a nod to her going against the grain in canon and this was the best way to show it in DiV setting. Kate being a huntswoman = archer. The prep for this fic lasted MONTHS while I wanted to make all pieces of the puzzle fit together neatly and I am glad it's noticeable!

As far as the music goes, every single song and its lyrics have been put there intentionally, because they follow the story. If you listen to the songs towards the end, you can gauge where the story will go without many spoilers.

Finally, Kate is already wealthy with an untapped potential in anything flower-related and Yelena is already building her reputation as a tailor so if they get out of their little town... who knows what can happen ;)

PS - I love From Eden. It's such a DiV Kate x Yelena song. If you want to share your thoughts on it, I am here to listen!

[inquisitorius-sin-bin]

🎀,💝, and 📡 for the writer ask?

Ah thank you for asking!

🎀 give yourself a compliment about your own writing

I have come a long way and am learning a lot! Honestly Ride or Die was a great experience for me, working on such a long, cohesive piece from start to finish like this has really helped me hone my skills. I'm not perfect, but when I look back at the early chapters vs. now, I can see the strides I am making.

I am in over 150k words in a single thematically consistant work, and am finishing up the final chapter and epilogue now! That's crazy to me. I can't wait to see what I do next.

💝 what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

I'm still happy people are enjoying Dr. Victre and asking for an update what? 6 years later? 😭

I definitely have soft ideas for a reboot bouncing around. My current project is a lot. But Victre is on my mind.

Also as a person who is pertrified of the idea of parenthood to the point of being surgically sterilized, it is amusing to me how much more popular the two fics with characters who want to have those gralien babies are than the rest. I really thought the choking fic would do numbers, but it is the least popular. The people want those Pau'an babies and I have still not delivered (oops).

📡 why is writing and sharing your writing important for fandom?

From a superficial standpoint,

Guess how many of these are me? (It's 6 of the 8) Lol

In a broader sense, I'd like to challenge the idea of what Xreader fics can and should be. Yes, it is an inherently self-indulgent media form. But I like to treat it as no less than any other kind of fanfiction. I put my whole heart and soul into creating vivid characters with their own place within the Star Wars universe. And plot. So much plot. Maybe too much.

I create works with tension, environment, themeing, build-up and payoffs. Characters with convictions, strengths, flaws, downfalls. Sinful delights and tragic downfalls. The joy is creating this elaborate story, place and time with this (usually) gender neutral, nameless character, and saying how do you end up in this situation? How do you react? How does the Inquisitor react? And how can I get you in bed together?

I love recieving prompts from folks because my mind is already coming up with these scenerios for fun, and I want to put shapes to the desires of others. I like being challenged, especially with a really difficult scenerio and making it make sense with the characters involved. For example, I'm trying to write a Temple Guard scene. It's difficult to imagine keeping our sentinel in character while having him slip in such a way, yet my mind puzzles through anyways. I have faith in my abilities to come up with something.

Again thank you! This was fun!

[gurggggleburgle]

wanted to add a little bit onto this because I did my own research on sites like this awhile back when I was considering posting a novel of mine in a web novel format before deciding no to virtually every platform and especially webnovel.

Webnovel has fanfic but it's closer in line to similar sites like tapas and moonquil publishing. It's a hub of people posting and making their original stories and putting them out to be seen usually from what I have gathered just based on the writing and tone alone for a lot of the books I saw younger audiences. Late teens mid twenties. And for most of these sites the fact that content is locked behind paywall is the only way authors make money and to a small extent that's fine.

For example you can make a fraction of a cent on tapas using the currency they have INK along with ad revenue and are unable to cash your earnings till you reach a threshold that only the top earners are likely to achieve also your chapter length is restricted to about 5k of characters because they want to make you specifically make as many chapters as possible that are short. I have many issues with tapas and it's payout system but I joyfully acknowledge it's one of the few sites where it at least tries to equally pay all of it's creators. Even if poorly.

Webnovel does pay it's writers. It's just their requirements are scummy as all get out. For one you really only get paid once you sign a contract that states webnovel which is owned Cloudary Holdings Limited you might know them as the terrifying company that has their hands owning stakes everything from tencent to activision blizzard. This contract can be exclusive or non but it's your only guarantee on royalties on the site. The ultimate thing to remember is much like OP pointed out is they already own the rights entirely. You can just publish it elsewhere and try to ad revenue profit on other sites.

This contract of theirs guarantees you a percentage of income from 30-50% depending on exclusivity of your work but no matter what they already own the rights and you will never be allowed to fully delete the work.

This contract also by the way requires you to post a chapter a day consisting of 1500 words for your $200 minimum payout. So yeah if you get sick or just are busy and can't update and something went wrong you're sol. Also will point out that you're not able to profit immediately as far as I was able to gather. You have to reach certain view and word thresholds first. Webnovel is trash for looking for fic writers to bolster and pad their site out but it's also just disgusting in how it treats and burns out their writers.

It's incredibly low barrier of entry makes a lot of people get star struck on the idea that this it! Their big ticket but it's overall just terrible for any sort of long term help or solution. I personally am not a fan of any of the webnovel sites but I think so far tapas and moonquil look the least scummy comparatively that said I'm not a lawyer and could be missing something in the TOS. Saying this to other prospective writers who might see this and see an opportunity if webnovel comments on a fanfic and you think 'this is a good idea' don't. I figured this was an important addition in case someone went 'well I'm writing this original thing so if I post it I'll do great!' Or how it could seem like an opportunity.

It's not. Play safe kiddos. Don't listen to the Webnovel site fic comments.

I got this comment on a story from my Other AO3 Account this morning.

(Info redacted because I prefer keeping these accounts separate but no one follows me on the side blog I have for that account.)

The story was posted almost a year ago and is relatively “popular” by my average statistics even though it has tropes and themes that are big turnoffs for a lot of people (hence separate accounts). This popularity is undoubtedly because it’s a Marvel Loki story and that fandom is massive.

So there is obviously an algorithm or a bot scrubbing ao3 statistics and leaving this comment on fics that meet a certain metric with the main character of the fic inserted into the comment.

I had a little time to kill this morning so I decided to investigate further. And y’all this is so predatory. Come on this journey with me. It made me mad. It may make you mad.

First, if you go to Webnovel’s website, you HAVE to choose between male lead or female lead stories before you can go any further. WTF?

And that’s weird, but this gets so much worse. This is basically a pay-to-read site that has different subscription models. Which… okay BUT! The authors don’t get paid! Look at that comment again. They’re promising a supportive and nurturing community, but zero monetary compensation. It’s basically, “post your stuff here so we can get paid and you can get… nice vibes?” I mean look at this Orwellian writing:

Using the phrase “pay-to-read model” in the same sentence as “qualitative changes in lifestyles for authors” deliberately makes you think that you can get paid and maybe even make a living on this website. But that’s not actually what it says and authors will not receive one red cent.

Oh but wait, the worst is still to come. In case this breaks containment (which I kind of hope it does) this is where I mention that I’m a lawyer in the US.

I don’t do intellectual property or copyright law but I do read and write contracts for a living. So I went to look at their terms of service. It was fun!

Highlights the first, in which Webnovel gets a license to do basically whatever they want with content you post on their site. This is how they get to be paid for people reading authors’ writing without paying them anything.

Highlights the second, in which Webnovel takes no responsibility for illegally profiting off of fan fic. This all says that the writer is 100% responsible for everything the writer posts (even though only Webnovel is making money from it).

Highlights the third which say that by posting, the author is representing that they have the legal right to use and to let Webnovel use the content according to these terms. So if a writer posts fan fiction and Webnovel makes money from people reading the fan fiction, and the House of the Mouse catches wise, these sections say that that’s ALL on the writer.

So that’s a little skeevy to start off with but the thing that is seriously shitty and made me make this post was that these assholes are coming to ao3. They are actively recruiting people in comments on their fan fiction. And they are saying they are big fans of the character you’re writing about and that they share your interests.

They are recruiting fan fiction writers and giving every impression that you can make money from posting fan fiction on their site and hiding the fact that you absolutely cannot but they can make money off of you while you try, deep in their terms of service which no one but a lawyer who writes fan fic and has some time to kill will read.

I see posts on here regularly from people who don’t understand how this stuff works, don’t understand that they (and others) can not legally make a financial profit from fan fiction. And there are tons of people who will not take the time to dig into the details.

Don’t deal with these bastards. Fuck Webnovel.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Hi Anon. You also get an "essay style" response from yours truly. (The other one is sitting in the inbox somewhere, along with other things).

if you don't write for readers or socialization through interests.

I feel like it has been made abundantly clear that is actually why Nisha/Sunny writes and shares fics. Those two things are in fact intertwined too. The point is to talk and have conversations. Except people don't comment so that's very limited.

do not expect notoriety and admiration for this anymore

What? Now correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what being asked for. At all. In fact, I believe Nisha doesn't like notoriety at all. Fics getting popular are anxiety inducing for her. She's asking for camaraderie, not notoriety.

if you can’t complete something you’ve committed to already to a multitude of people, don’t do it? don’t say you will with schedules and promises just to fall short?

I don't know if you know this but a lot of things happen. Especially when you have chronic illnesses/disorders. Even without that lots of things happen and writers don't update or write for various reasons.

you cannot demand every reader and follower to comment on your eloquent authoring, reblogging every thing you write when it’s your interest, and interacting with you.

Yeah. But the ratio from likes to reblogs, even blank reblogs is astounding, and it's not just on this blog. And reminder, every time Nisha brings this up it's about all writers because she's noticed it happen to others too. So yeah, not everyone has to, but more people should.

not when you don’t respect the people who have given you a platform and the opportunity to spout ignorance.

I also feel like it's been made abundantly clear that Nisha does respect and love the people who interact with her. Do I agree with every single thing she says ever? No. And that's great. I don't need to be in an echo chamber. And for the record I don't really think any of it is ignorance.

don’t expect more than what you give.

I don't even think you realize what is being given. I'm a writer. I'm a slow writer. Because it's so hard. Nisha writes long, beautiful fics. And even the ones that aren't that long have so much in them. There's so much work into saying what's needs to be said through the chosen way.

maybe ask for critique and commentary AFTER you COMPLETE something and not with a bunch of unfinished work and not fall short on promises. AFTER you have respectful conversations. we’re done lol.

Commentary can happen during something. It's called a reaction. And some things are completed. Is the entire fic finished? No. But that chapter is. Critique and commentate on that chapter. That's actually how you get more sometimes! Also I don't get why you need to be respectful after something is done? That should usually be the default. And not being respectful about this, in these settings, won't really get you a conversation. That'll just be an argument, which isn't really the thing that should be happening.

-Rotten Anon

waking up to what that anon said literally turned my brain into (mentally ill) mush for the day, so you have responded to this really well.

like - one of the biggest reasons I write primarily oneshots instead of having active multichapter series is because people love to act as if I am unreliable and flaking out on a promise when I don't finish a series. people act like I'm villainous and doing it on purpose to hold their favourite story hostage? when there is so much more going on in my life that means I don't have the time or energy to write that story

and that person was talking about me not responding to asks or comments - over the past few days, I haven't been responding to asks or comments about Careful, because I am so emotionally exhausted when it comes to that fic, and I don't want to come off as rude when responding to people who are very enthusiastic about the fic when I am not feeling enthusiastic about it right now. I am upset about it - I am worn out and frustrated. so I would rather leave those comments unanswered instead of making rude, short comments just to say something to people

I responded to that anon in a sarcastic way, but they managed to summarize all of my insecurities about my writing in one post, and tbh, now that I have posted the last chapter of Careful, I may take a hiatus. because I can't stand it anymore

(I am probably never gonna write for CM ever again because the fandom reception is like this.)

anyway - thank you Rotten Anon. you are eloquent and smart as always

[whirlybirbs]

FEVER-DREAM    ;    echo/reader 

summary: echo is fine-tuning his new prosthesis. you have experience, you help. unspoken feelings are acted on. adoration blooms. you learn what mesh’la means.

word count: 3k

pairing: echo / f!reader

tags: mutual pining, lots of tender looks, victorian-era hand-touching sluttiness, echo is a gentle soul, reader is head over heels, a touch of ptsd mention, set on ord mantell, mention of our boy fives, in this house we love assistive devices, enough sexual tension to power the death star

a/n: this is me round-house kicking the bad batch writers in the throat because they made echo cosplay a droid — but, also because this man deserves to be treated as more than a means to a mission’s end. majority of you know i am ~bitter~ (understatement of the century) of tbb’s plot/design/writing. but echo has been a favorite from the original days... so have some very soft fic.

i reference character redesigns by @nibeul​ in this piece — please go peep them here, and some updated character spreads here! they’re really beautiful and add a phenomenal layer of storytelling to the existing designs that’s lacking. nibuel’s art and writing is lovely. please give them a follow — i can’t rec their work enough. 

“How does it feel?”

The words are nearly whispered; it’s clear you didn’t want to startle him, and Echo can feel the pinch in his brow soften at your sudden appearence in the doorway. 

His bunk, at the back of the Havoc Marauder, is small — the space itself even more so. There’s a makeshift partition, hooked together with spare parts and meant to offer a bit of privacy on the cramped vessel. Its slate grey color has faded, and the edges have become tattered in the cycles of use. 

When Echo pulls his dark eyes up from his work, you’re leaning against the frame — your expression is earnest.

For a moment, the once-ARC Trooper is quiet. 

He wonders if he’ll ever get used to your attention. Each and every time, it sends him into a spiral; his heart catches as he inhales and tries to push down the warm stir in his gut. The sight of you is enough, nowadays, to melt Echo’s well-maintained irritability. His attention is stolen from his ever-present pain, if only for a bit.

There are plenty of days where he misses the old him — the wide-eyed, eager ARC Trooper who had his brothers by his side. His real brothers. Hevy, Cutup, Droidbait... Fives. 

Fuckin’ hell, Fives was probably staring down at him now laughing. 

No matter what changes, you’re still shit with the ladies, vod’ika. 

In a way he hasn’t fully admitted to himself, you make him feel like himself again. Like... Like some shiny cadet, on leave and distracted by the promises of pretty smiles passing-by. It’s good.

This makes him feel... good. 

He flexes, and his right hand — the new, gunmetal durasteel cyberized-prosthesis — closes into a tight fist. It’s taken him a bit, but the feeling isn’t so foreign now. It’s still... slow. Slower than he’s used to, but you’d mentioned it may take some time. The phantom feelings get better, too. All in all, it’s a good thing.

Your own hand, your left, glimmers back in the same gunmetal color.

(Echo had never pressed you about the missing limb — not until one day, in Cid’s, you’d joined him in a quiet corner. You’d spilled your drink and a complaint about getting the star-cherry syrup out of the joints had slipped out. Echo had laughed; a real laugh, the sort that was so rare coming from him, it had you staring at him as if he’d hung ever star in the sky. 

Can I ask how it happened? he’d said, breaking the heavy silence when your eyes never left his.

The Pykes, you’d said, and that was enough.)

“I haven’t, uh... Haven’t gotten the sensory calibration right yet.”

Then, his prosthesis cramps. His fingers go rigid, and Echo curses sharply as he reaches around his forearm to quickly reboot the appendage. It goes slack, then hums alive once more.

You wince.

You’re slow to move into the room — and you settle atop one of the crates Echo had stolen from the belly of the ship, an old Mantell Mix shipping container. You’re mindful to set his datapad aside, to not disturb his space too much. Before you reach for his hand, however, you lift your chin and open your hands in your lap.

“May I?” you ask, just as soft as before.

Echo feels small under your gaze.

Truth be told, you’re doing more than just... asking. You’re taking him in — appreciating him. It’s a habit that’s grown more and more apparent to not only himself, but the others.

In recent rotations, Echo has let his hair grow out — not long, but the once close buzz he’d kept has begun to curl at the top. Not entirely dissimilair to how it was before the Citadel. The dermal implants, the ones the Techno Union installed in order to parse the nuerological data in his head, stand out against his warm-colored skin. 

His usual AJ^6-inspired headpiece is resting on his bunk.

That damn thing.

A neccesary tool. One that, given the amount of user data Tech had procured when working on modifying the implant, Echo found himself immediately distrusting. It wasn’t as if the AJ^6 cyborg construct had a beautiful track record, and frankly, Echo would like to keep his personality in tact, thank you very much. There were plenty of days he felt machine enough. 

It wasn’t often you saw him without the headset; you knew it made linking in via his scomp easier to handle, it made the visualization of data transfers as easy as breathing. For Echo, it was a part of his vast kit, an important tool. For you, seeing him without it bubbles up a bit of a smile.

Echo catches it.

His eyes narrow playfully.

He looks... well. You — hell, are there words for it? For the way the sight of him makes you feel? It’s like there’s a world full of potential there, a thousand words unsaid, and feelings that have steeped in the warmth of longing gazes and half-there touches.

You’re still looking up at him, knees bent on the crate.

You blink, realizing you’ve been caught staring — not for the first time and certainly not for the last. In the beginning, it had left a sour taste in Echo’s mouth. But, now... Well, it stokes a sort of pride in his chest that he hangs onto. 

It never gets easier to recover from — certainly not when Echo smirks. He moves to allow you to take his prosthesis into your lap. The gesture is gentle; your fingers cradle the firm yet pliable metal.

“What?” he asks. His voice, low and rough and warm, is tinted with amusement.

“Nothing,” you say vaguely with a shrug — as if that’s supposed to explain any part of your enamored stare. Your attention moves to the prosthesis.

“Nothing?” he asks, moving to thumb his left ear with his free hand with a dash of nervousness. A habit. Echo tilts his head as his fingers brush the cochlear implant there. The panel rests neatly against the side of his head, a small rounded-off square. The bite of self-consciousness has dwindled around you — but still, it creeps back up every now and again.

The Corporal’s brows knot playfully as you turn his new hand over in your lap; you’re admiring the upgraded feel, the more seamless panelling in comparison to your own. Echo watches your lashes flutter in silent thought.

Then:

“You’re a terrible liar, you know.”

You blink slowly at the hand, swallow down your sudden sheepishness and ignore his gaze. You bite back the smile digging into your cheeks. “Maybe.”

“Do I have something on my face?” he asks suddenly, and you look up.

A baited trick. He’s smiling. 

The warm sort — the sort reserved for you and for Omega. The two souls that hold a piece of his heart, with all its ticking valves and electric timed pulses. There are machinisms that keep him alive, and then there is you. Your wide-eyed expression melts, giving way to the sort of smile he’s tried to memorize over and over. It’s the same smile that has warded off that reoccuring nightmare of the night on the tarmac at the Citadel, the same smile that has pulled him through the grit of phantom pains.

“What—” a sudden laugh bursts from your chest, “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You were staring, mesh’la,” he rumbles out as a reminder, enjoying the fact he’s suddenly become the center of your attention. Echo leans back, his boot toeing yours. You nudge it back. Your face feels hot. You ignore his pointedly teasing look with a roll of your eyes.

The nickname started a few weeks ago. You haven’t asked what it means — no, for now it’s meaning hangs in the balance. Untouched but there. The affection the word carries makes your heart feel heavier and unbelievably full.

“Bad habit,” you chirp back, looking up at him through your lashes.

His laugh is warm.

“Maybe not.”

“No,” you say quietly; your voice is soft as your eyes bounce across his face, tracing the lines of his face with your gaze, “I don’t think it is.”

There’s a silence that slips between you — a comfortable one. It’s heavier than before. That has begun to happen recently, especially with the petal-soft utterance of mesh’la becoming more and more frequent. You hold his gaze. Echo lets out a soft, contented sigh.

Then, you remember the task at hand.

You clear your throat.

“Uh... The access panel I’m looking for,” you say slowly as your raise your finger to point to your own arm, “It’s on your bicep.”

Echo blinks. He clears his own throat before looking down — he hadn’t even noticed that access panel. That could explain the jarring miscommunication stalling the limb. This model had more bells and whistles than he initally realized. 

Better than a fuckin’ scomp link, that’s for sure.

Wordlessly, Echo makes room on his bunk. You move to settle beside him, your bent leg resting aginst his hip as you half-straddle the bed; your other knee brushes his thigh — and Echo tries to sit still. You’re close, now. 

“Is it okay if...?” you trail off, fingers tugging on the short sleeve of his blacks; you pause until Echo offers a curt nod. You catch him swallow. You push onward, fingers nimbly rolling the fabric up over his broad bicep. 

Echo steals a glance your way as your fingers pass across a slip of his bare skin. 

In his lap, both his hands twitch.

He’s no small man. Lean and athletic, Echo is built like a soldier. Omega had said once that Echo was an ARC Trooper, one of the best of the best. You believed every bit of it, and you’d hung on her words when she’d rambled on about ARC training, about Kamino, and about who Echo was before you knew him. It was all in the past, though. That Echo is a part of this Echo but... They’re different men. He’s been changed by the things that have happened.

You don’t press him on the details. 

In time, they’re slipped into conversation here and there — between the here and now.  

In the beginning, when you’d found yourself amongst the crew of the Havoc Marauder — be it for a simple job on Cid’s behalf — Echo had hardly paid you a moment of attention, though you admit you’d been curious from the start. It had taken three jobs for you to finally see his face. Then began the slow and gradual bonding over catching joints, grating plates, and hardware updates. His legs, your arm. Two pieces of a pair.

Now, he has this. A beautiful new upgrade — something he’s wanted for a long time. A part of his old self is back, in a way.

You liked that it was more than just a tool. That, in having this piece of his body back, he felt like more than a tool. More than a scomp link. 

After all, he is a man — a... a very handsome man. One whose proximity is sort of distracting you, again, from the task at hand.

“The panel here,” you say as you slowly press on the seam that enables the settings panel to be revealed; you’re mindful to explain, “It controls sensory outputs, as well as synchonized synaptic commands. The panel on my forearm does the same to my hand, yours is just... well, you’ve got the new and improve version.”

Echo ducks his head as you work, watching you from the corner of his eye. “Feeling a bit jealous, mesh’la?”

“Maybe,” you breathe out with a smile. 

Then, you lift your eyes. You intended to see that he was still comfortable, but instead you come face to face with the Corporal. His nose nearly brushes yours when you lift you chin, completely dragged in by the closeness shared.

There’s a beat of tension. Echo’s mouth goes dry.

You fingers pause. You swallow hard. “How... uh, how does it feel?”

Echo tightens his grip, then releases. His breath tickles your cheeks. His eyes, a deep, warm brown, flit from your eyes to your mouth, and then back. His voice is a croak. 

“...Same as before.”

You tinker with a dial, eyes never leaving his; your voice is above a whisper. “And now?”

It’s immediate. Like a rush of cold air up his arm — and on instinct, Echo’s hand twitches. His fingers grip the fabric of his blacks, along his thigh, and... he feels it. The smooth, stretch of the material. It’s... it feels like a lot. His fingertips, metallic and cyberized, tingle. It’s distracting.

He can feel. 

His hand is slow. It moves across to bridge the space between you. His pointer finger settles on the curve of your knee; the feeling of your tactical pants beneath his fingertip is ignored, instead he chases the heat of your body.

Your breath catches at the touch. 

Echo’s face is turned to you, but... his attention has settled on his hand. His palm then sweeps across your thigh. He follows the curve, soaks in the feeling. You’re frozen in place, beating back the desperate sound of appreciation that threatens to be pulled from your throat. The touch is... more than welcomed. 

The closeness itself is making you dizzy.

Then, Echo turns — and the warm, durasteel-plated palm finds your cheek.

Your skin is hot. 

“Is this okay, mesh’la?” he whispers, words riding on a quiet exhale — the sort that make you feel... well, you don’t even have words for the way he makes you feel. Echo is... kind, honest, and loyal. Above all else, he’s gentle. Despite it all, despite every bit of horror he’d been put through, he’d never lost sight of the importance of a gentle hand. Especially now in a moment as intimate as this. It coaxes you closer.

You lean into the cybernetic attachment, cheek resting in his palm. You nod, then, with eyes eager to take in every bit of this moment.

He chuckles at the enthusiasm. Echo’s thumb, deft and smooth, then traces the line of your lower lip.

The feeling is... the gnawing pain that he’s felt for nearly a year has melted. Finally, the itch has been scratched in his brain and the hollow ache of his bones is gone. It’s relief, and comfort, and excitement and all these beautiful things — and you. 

You’re stuck — you don’t want to move, you won’t move. He’s rooted you completely, and when his other hand — the calloused and warm one of flesh and blood — finds it’s spot along your thigh, you swallow a lovesick sigh that would only exaserbate your desperation. 

Your mouth is moving before you realize it. 

“What does it mean?”

Echo’s eyes narrow, only a bit, and he runs his thumb up your cheekbone.

“What does what mean?” 

“Mesh’la,” it sounds foreign on your tongue. It’s not Hutteese or Twi’leki, not like any language you know, “Will you tell me what it means, Echo?”

The corner of his lips quirk. Your eyes jump to it.

You feel like someone’s reached right into your chest and given your heart a squeeze — and it only worsens when he laughs. He laughs, deep and quiet and warm, like a thunderstorm on a summer night. It feels cruel, to string you along like this when you’re here, lips parted, hanging off his every touch and his every word.

“Beautiful,” he says quietly as his other hand touches your jaw — it’s so damn reverent, this little moment in time, that you almost don’t believe it’s real.

It feels like a dream — like someone has come in and stolen your thoughts from you; like the unrequited yearning has finally stoked a fire large enough to burn you up entirely, a fever you never knew you wanted.

His nose brushes yours.

Your fingers wind into the fabric of his chest. You’re clinging, lost to the moment — and you can’t help wonder if this is how it feels when he catches you adoring him. He’s admiring you so tenderly that you nearly break.

You want to kiss him.

He’s thought about nothing but kissing you for the last five days at least. Longer in his dreams. Nowadays, it’s a constant pull, a constant want.

And now, it’s here — a present and current moment where it can happen. Where he can stop being a shiny cadet and he can make a move...

Enter Omega.

“Echo, we’re back—!”

The telltale hammer of a girl’s boots on the floor signals that the party is back from their supply run — but you’re so far off, spinning in a different universe, you don’t even hear her until its too late... Until Echo is yanking himself away and clearing his throat and rolling his wrist to test the prosthesis in a different way, a less intimate way. 

You blink, then rattle yourself back to the present. Omega is in the doorway staring with a quizzical look. Clearly, your state does little to dissuade the assumptions she’s already making and you can see the gears turning in her head. The dark-haired girl then slowly grins.

“Hi.”

You swallow. “Hi, Omega.”

“...Whatcha guys doin’?”

Echo coughs. “Uh, just fine-tuning the new upgrade.”

“...Riiiiiight.” 

You rub your cheeks and laugh — clearly forced and incredibly pained — as you stand up and nearly ram your head right into the top of Echo’s bunk. It’s met with a hiss of warning from the trooper as he jumps up to try and protect you from the impact. 

“Well! Uh, thanks for letting me help, Echo,” you clap, rocking back and forth on your boots, “I, uh... Oh, Cid called. I should... I should get back—”

“Yea,” he says, straining a bit to find the words, “Yea, I’ll... I’ll comm you if it starts to, uh... If it starts to act up?”

Omega watches the exchange, big brown eyes moving from left to right. 

“Good, great — yea, that’s,” you inhale as you rub your thighs and move towards the door, “Perfect. Okay.”

“Okay.”

“Bye!” Omega calls, waving.

You wave back, smiling. “Bye, Omega.”

Then, once it’s only Echo and Omega in the bunk, the tween speaks.

“...What the kriff was that?”