#also his character's lines are featured in the book A LOT which means hopefully his character gets good screentime in the film 🤞

[crumb]

Damon Herriman featured in the book Vandals: The Photography of The Bikeriders (2024)

[nellasbookplanet]

Book recs: Queer horror, part 1

We all like a good horror story, right? You know what's even better? A queer horror story!

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean “guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending”, but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/ace spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don’t always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of “gay best friend” or a blink and you’ll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Camp Damascus by Chuck Tingle*

Rose, like her parents, believes strongly that homosexuality is a sin, and holds great pride that her home town hosts Camp Damascus, a successful conversion camp for young teens. But Rose is also experiencing strange and terrifying things: memories of a beautiful girl, a demonic figure that shows up if her thoughts stray, flies crawling out her mouth. Something has happened in Rose's past that her parents won't speak of and that she herself can't remember, and Camp Damascus is at the center of it all. Sapphic, autistic main character, as well as a really cool take on demonic lore that is both inspired by and a subversion of christianity.

House of Hollow by Krystal Sutherland*

Young adult. Something happened to Iris Hollow and her two older sisters when they were little; after having gone missing, they were all returned with no memory of what happened and identical scars on their throats. Years have passed since then, and though seen as strange the girls still lead mostly normal lives - that is, until the oldest, Grey, goes missing, leaving strange clues in her path. As Iris searches for her, a strange man with horns starts stalking her and memories start to rise to the forefront in her mind. To save Grey, Iris will have to find out the truth of what happened all those years ago. Features wonderfully morally grey characters. Bisexual lead, but little to no romance.

Winter Tide (The Innsmouth Legacy) by Ruthanna Emrys*

Aphra and her brother are the only survivors after the government raided their home, Innsmouth. Their only living family are the amphibian people of the deep, whom they will one day join, but until then they are bound to land where they struggle to build new lives for themselves after the great loss of their home and loved ones. Then rumors start to spread of a russian agent seeking dangerous and ancient magic, forcing Aphra to involve herself as they try to stop it. Does contain horror elements but is generally a much more optimistic look on cosmic horror than most lovecraftian stories, told from the perspective of one of his monsters. Lots of focus on found family and rebuilding of community. Asexual main character (however I don’t think that becomes in-text confirmed until the sequel) and multiple queer characters in the supporting cast.

Rules for Vanishing by Kate Alice Marshall

Young adult. One year ago, Sara's sister went missing. Since then, Sara has drifted away from her friends, but when she receives a mysterious text inviting her to "play the game" - the same game that supposedly stole her sister away - Sara and her estranged friends all come back together to find her. Together they set off on a path that legend says appears only once a year, leading them toward the ghost Lucy Gallows and, hopefully, Sara's sister. Bisexual main character, told in a faux documentary style.

Sorrowland by Rivers Solomon

A young pregnant woman flees a cult that left her body strange and changing in terrifying ways. Hiding from both a world wanting to oppress her and the cult seeking to force her back, she does her best to raise her children while trying to find out the truth of the cult and being pursued by a hunter in a dangerous game of cat and mouse. Bleak and scary, Sorrowland is a book that will creep under your skin with horrors both fantastical and very, very real.

Otherside Picnic (Otherside Picninc lightnovel series) by Iori Miyazawa

Sapphic light novel with a surreal and episodic horror vibe. Following the directions of an urban legend, university student Sorawo finds her way to a reality populated by horrifying creatures from ghost stories and modern urban legends (of which I’m sure you’ll recognize many). Here she teams up with fellow explorer Toriko, both to find out more about this strange world and to help Toriko find a missing loved one. Also available as a manga and (one season of) an anime. Sapphic.

Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Amrfield

Miri thought she lost her wife Leah when her deep-sea mission ended in a catastrophe. But Leah was miraculously returned to her - or so it seems. Because something happened down there, deep in the ocean, and whatever it was, Leah has brought it back with her. Surreal and strange, Our Wives Under the Sea will not answer all your questions, but it will give you a unique experience.

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher

Novella. Alex Easton, retired soldier, travels to visit their childhood friends, siblings Madeline and Roderick Usher, after finding out that Madeline is dying. In the siblings’ rural, ancestral home, Madeline walks in her sleep and looks to be fading away, while around it wildlife seems to be possessed by a strange force. With the help of a mycologist and an American doctor, Alex attempts to save Madeline and reveal the truth of her illness. Nonbinary main character.

Alien: Echo by Mira Grant

Young adult. Twin sisters Olivia and Viola’s parents are both xenobiologists, bringing them all over the galaxy. Most recently they’ve settled on a new colony world to study its wildlife, but it proves more dangerous than they could’ve ever imagined. Under attack from alien monsters, the sisters must keep each other alive while also coming to terms with a dark family secret. Sapphic horror. Part of the Alien franchise but stands well on its own.

Into the Drowning Deep by Mira Grant*

A research vessel heads towards the Mariana Trench in search of answers of what happened to a ship which mysteriously lost all its crew some time earlier. In the deep dark, something intelligent and hungry awaits them. Very much mermaids of the horror variety. Sequel to a novella, can be read as a standalone. Also contains a sapphic romance, however that is a pretty small part of the plot as a whole.

Alice Isn't Dead by Joseph Fink

Based on the podcast by the same name. Keisha Taylor thought she had lost her wife. She even held a funeral and attempted to move on with her life. But then Alice started to appear, all over America, in the background of every single major tragedy in the country. To find her missing wife, Keisha gets a job as a trucker and sets out on a roadtrip, not knowing what horrors awaits her.

Wilder Girls by Rory Power

Young adult. Over a year ago, the Raxter School for Girls was hit by the Tox, a strange disease that killed off many and left the survivors’ bodies slowly changing in terrifying ways. The island the school is on has been in quarantine since then, and the girls dare not leave the school grounds lest they become victims of wild animals changed by the Tox. But as they wait for the promised cure, one of the girls goes missing, and her friends are willing to do anything to find her. Unsettling, spooky, and sapphic, this is a unique read featuring body horror and messy, dangerous girls.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

Once, Andy, Kerri, Nate, Peter and their faithful dog were known as the Blyton Summer Detective Club, until they hit their fateful final case in 1977. Now, the year is 1990, and the group hasn't gathered in years. Tomboy Andy is wanted in at least two states; Kerri, former kid genius, is tending bar; and horror nerd Nate is in a mental institution in Arkham. At least he still has the company of jock-turned-movie star Peter - except Peter has been dead for years. Now they must all come together to find out the truth of what happened all those years ago. Lovecraftian horror with a sometimes absurdist vibe and adult scooby do inspiration. Sapphic romance.

Contagion by Erin Bowman*

Young adult. After receiving an SOS, a small crew is sent on a standard search-and-rescue mission. But what they find are not survivors awaiting help, but an abandoned site, full of dead bodies and crawling with something… monstrous. No romance, but features one sapphic co-lead and one who can easily be read as demisexual (however this doesn’t show up until book two, which has more romance).

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand*

Young adult. The isolated island of Sawkill Rock has secrets. It hosts the legend of a local monster, and the very stark reality of decades of girls going missing, never to be found again. Now, three girls stand at the center of the horrific mystery - if only they can come together, perhaps they can save future generations of girls from a monster that may very well be real. Asexual and sapphic main characters, including a sapphic romance.

Salvation Day by Kali Wallace

A decade ago, the massive ship House of Wisdom was abandoned in orbit after its entire crew was killed in an outbreak in a matter of hours. Now, Zahra and her family of outcasts hope to claim the ship as their own by kidnapping the sole survivor to gain access. But the danger of the House of Wisdom is far from gone. Horror, no major romance but one of the main characters is gay.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling*

Possibly one of the most unstintingly claustrophobic books I’ve ever read, and definitely the most claustrophobic. Gyre, a caver on an alien planet, ventures into the dark and dangerous underground, guided only by a woman who has no compunctions on using and manipulating Gyre as she sees fit to obtain her secretive goals down in the caves. Sapphic in the most messy of ways.

Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb series) by Tamsyn Muir*

Gideon, raised as a swordswoman by unfriendly nuns, would rather run away and make her own life, but her services are needed. The Reverend Daughter, Gideon’s childhood nemesis, has been invited to a trial to win a place as an immortal by the Emperor’s side, and she’s in need of a bodyguard. Listen, if you’re on tumblr I probably don’t need to explain this book to you. Trust me when I say it’s exactly as good as people claim. Humorous and spooky but also absolutely gut wrenching and clever with a lot of political commentary. There are also, indeed, lesbian necromancers in space.

Family Business by Jonathan Sims

By the author behind the Magnus Archives. When Diya's childhood best friend and roommate unexpectedly passes away, Diya falls apart and, among other things, loses her job. When she's offered a position at Slough & Sons to clean up after the deceased, she sees no other recourse but to accept. Her new job is grisly but important, and Diya starts to get back on her feet - until strange visions of a terrifying man and the dead's last moments start to haunt her. Slough & Sons are hiding something, and it's up to Diya to find out the truth. No romance, bisexual main character and trans woman side character.

Sodom Road Exit by Amber Dawn

Starla didn't want to return to her childhood home of Crystal Beach, Canada, but growing debt has forced her to move back in with her mother, despite the trauma hidden in her old home. But Starla is haunted by more than trauma; she is, in fact, literally haunted, by a ghost that may understand her, but may also consume her. Not overly scary, but handles dark subjects such as childhood sexual assault. Lesbian main character and romance.

House of Hunger by Alexis Henderson*

In a world where the rich drink blood to preserve their health, Marion applies to a position as bloodmaid in a notorious noble house far from home. Suddenly showered with luxuries and debauchery, Marion soon gains the interest and favor of Lisavet, countess of the house. A fresh take on the idea of vampires and deliciously dark sapphic romance inspired by the horrific real-life Elisabet Báthory.

A Dowry of Blood by S.T. Gibson

Dracula inspired novella, following Constanta, who’s turned from a medieval peasant to an undead bride. As time passes the relationship between Dracula and Constanta grows all the more strained and potentially dangerous. Teaming up with his two other consorts, she seeks to unravel her husband’s secrets. Sapphic and polyamorous.

Dread Nation (Dread Nation duology) by Justina Ireland

Young adult, alternate history. In this world, the war between the American states is interrupted when the dead start walking the earth and hunting the living. Jane McKeene has been trained at Miss Preston’s School of Combat to become an attendant, skilled in combat as well as etiquette to protect the wealthy. But Jane wants a different life, and in her search for it stumbles headfirst into a conspiracy. Bisexual main character, aroace side character (who becomes a POV character in the sequel).

Manhunt by Gretchen Felker-Martin

In a future where those with high testosterone are afflicted by a zombie-like disease, bloodthirsty men have become the enemy. Trans women Beth and Fran and trans man Robbie do their best to survive in this brutal world, where TERF movements seek to exterminate them and monstrous men hunt in the wilds. VERY gruesome and bleak, but also very timely in the present political climate.

Leech by Hiron Ennes*

Unbeknownst to humanity, a sentient hive mind has taken over the entire medical profession to ensure the health of their host species. One of their doctors is sent off to an isolated location where they’re cut off from the rest of the hive mind, only to realize they’re faced with a rivaling parasitic entity. Leech hands you only just enough information to get by, and whether its historical fantasy, an alternate timeline, or futuristic post apocalypse is hard to determine. It’s spooky and a bit weird and wildly creative, and does some neat things with gender.

The Outside by Ada Hoffman*

AKA the book the put me in an existential crisis. Souls are real, and they are used to feed AI gods in this lovecraftian inspired sci-fi where reality is warped and artificial gods stand against real, unfathomable ones. Autistic scientist Yasira is accused of heresy and, to save her eternal soul, is recruited by cybernetic ‘angels’ to help hunt down her own former mentor, who is threatening to tear reality itself apart. Sapphic main character.

The Gilded Abyss by Rebecca Thorne

Nix Marr is a soldier and damned good at it, but that doesn’t prepare her for her next mission: bodyguard for Subarch Kessandra, beloved royal and Nix’s bitter ex. The two venture toward the underwater city of Fall to seek the cause of a bloody murder spree and a possible deadly contagion. But Kessandra has enemies, the answers she seeks marking her as a possible threat for the nation’s rulers. On their way in an isolated and enclosed underwater ship toward Fall, the contagion catches up, and Nix will have to put her hurt feelings aside if the two are to arrive alive. Sci-fi with flavors of horror and the supernatural and a sapphic romance.

[thevindicativevordan]

Anonymous asked:

So, Spurrier is taking The Flash ongoing, and King is writing Wonder Woman. What's your expectations?

Quite a bit of news to talk about now!

Wonder Woman - Opening his run with a murder mystery and the Amazons being banned from America is the most Tom King-ass opening to WW you could possibly do. Yes I totally understand why some people are petrified of what he might do, but me? I'm excited. After the low stakes Cloonrad run, Wondy needs a shake up and this pitch is offering that. Expect lots of deep cuts to WW history, and a tone similar to his Superman and Supergirl books. In fact I think his editor for those is also editing the Wonder books right now, which means she'll be editing King there too. Sampere on art doesn't hurt either, he was fantastic with PKJ, his Wonder Woman will be gorgeous and her fights will be exciting. First time I have ever been excited for all of the Trinity's books!

Steelworks - Not everything Greg Pak did has been swept under the mat, Steel and Lana are still together! Loved Basri's art for that Jessica Cruz story in GL and her work with PKJ featuring the FS House of El in the Action Comics 2021 Annual. Dorn is a surprising choice, he of course is a legendary actor and he voiced Steel in the DCAU. He knows the character, but he doesn't seem to have much work as a writer. Hopefully he's a comics book fan and Superman editorial can help him out with the scripts where needed, but I'm still pulling this Day 1.

The Flash - Spurrier is uneven for me. His Hellblazer and Suicide Squad: Blaze books were mindblowing, but his Krakoa Era X-Men has been underwhelming for the most part. Flash as a character seems closer to the X-Men than Suicide Squad or Constantine, so I'm cautious about this. I'm going to wait for reviews with this one, especially since Dedato on art isn't to my taste.

Hawkgirl - Amancay Nahuelpan is one of my favorite artists so I'll probably check this out for him alone. Kendra moving to Metropolis is a potentially interesting idea, but the writer is an unknown. Fingers crossed this delivers the book Kendra fans have been pleading for.

Knight Terrors - And previously we also got some news about the upcoming two month event. Not a Batman event per say, a Trinity focused horror event. Williamson and Porter are handling the main series and it looks like linewide there will be tie-ins. Williamson has described it as turning the entire DC line into horror comics. I'm... cautious to put it mildly. I was very excited for Dark Crisis and that ended up a disaster. Here at least Williamson won't be trying to ape Morrison or Perez, he's done good horror books over in his indies, but I'm still not very excited. We already had a filler two month event with Lazarus Planet, do we really need another? If Williamson ends up derailing his own Superman run, which has started off so strong, I'm going to be pissed.

Goddamn this is a great level up from where DC was a year ago, even with the few weak spots and concerns I have! All of the Trinity books are good or sound interesting, DC is finally branching out from Batman, and there might still be a few surprises left (Waid has a DC book coming that hasn't been revealed yet).

Any thoughts about the recent Dawn of DC announcements ?

Let's see if the new DC is the same as the old DC.

DC's official press release says that 20 new books are coming, and they only revealed 10 (one of which was last year's Round Robin winner), so 10 more books are coming that have yet to be revealed. Let's take a roll call:

Unstoppable Doom Patrol by Dennis Culver and Chris Burnham - Burnham has me excited, Culver has me skeptical. All of Culver's DC work thus far has been lousy. His Justice League Incarnate book with Williamson was the weakest of the Infinite Frontier trilogy, his Future State Gotham book was really bad, and Doom Patrol is a great team that demands unorthodox writing. Rooting for Culver to surprise me here because God would I love to have a good Doom Patrol book with Way never coming back at this point. Can't believe it took DC this long given the success of the DP HBO Max series. Jane having a new alter that places her in the role of the Chief is a cool idea at least.

Superboy: Man of Tomorrow by Kenny Porter and Jahnoy Lindsay - I voted for this, I'm glad it won, I've enjoyed DC Mech, I expect I will enjoy this. I'm praying Lindsay gives Conner a new costume, it's time to ditch the 90s look for something new. No more looking back for Conner, that terrible Fitzmartin YJ mini was right about one thing: we can't live in the past. He needs a new modern costume, and a story that reestablishes who he is in a post Jon Kent world. This and PKJ Action are seemingly going to accomplish that, both in terms of who Conner is on his own, and who he is in the Superfamily. Given the long wait between when this series was announced as the winner and when it is finally coming out, there shouldn't be any delays at least.

Green Lantern: Hal Jordan by Mariko Tamaki (Artist TBA) - Tamaki is mostly good with a few misses, her Tec, Supergirl: Being Super, and (apparently I haven't read it) Crush & Lobo books were good, her Wonder Woman run not so much. In fairness that was blatant movie synergy and didn't leave her much freedom to work with. I liked her Tec run and this appears to be aiming for something similar. Hal back in Coast City on Earth, rebuilding his life here is exactly the kind of thing they should have done after the Johns era's nonstop cosmic epic. Give me revamps of old Hal Earth villains beyond Hector Hammond that we haven't seen in a while, Hal struggling to make friends with the neighbors the way Tamaki had Bruce do in her Tec run, and put Hal and Carol back together again, and I'll be happy.

Green Lantern John Stewart by PKJ (Artist TBA) - Now this has my attention. Giving PKJ another book means they trust him, giving him a John Stewart book - who may end up being the main DCU Lantern if that HBO Max GL series actually gets made - means they view him as one of their up and comers. He's expressed a lot of love for and desire to work in GL before, he's set up plot threads for GL such as the Revenant Queen threat that would give John his own Rogues which John desperately needs, and I obviously am a huge fan of the cosmic storytelling over in Action which I fully expect will be repeated here. DC Cosmic has been crying out for a worldbuilder to flesh it out more for ages, this is an exciting choice. My hunch is that John will be dealing with another Aspect of Olgrun, since there are six more out there unaccounted for. Inject some of that Warworld Saga storytelling into Green Lantern, let's get John a love interest, and maybe Stewart will finally get that equivalent to Johns run on GL with Hal which his fans have been begging for. Sampere is a huge GL fan who has history with PKJ before, I would say he's a natural choice for this book, but he likes Hal more so I could see him ending up on Tamaki's book instead.

Cyborg (Creative Team TBA) - Wish I could be more excited for this, but I have to know the team and the pitch before being interested. Too many Cyborg stories rehash the same "am I a man or a machine?" crap for me to pull this sight unseen.

Batman: The Brave & The Bold by Tom King and Various Artists - King got robbed of his 100 issue Batman run so I guess he's going to make up for it by doing secondary Batman books forever. Does Batman really need another team-up book given World's Finest already has him teaming up with Superman and the rest of the DCU? I'll be reading this so I guess I'm part of the problem, but I really wish King would take on another of the A-Listers. All he does is Batman books, C-Listers, and the occasional dabble in the Superman sphere. I want to see him tackle another Justice Leaguer's ongoing, give him an Aquaman or Martian Manhunter book since everyone else seems to be claimed. Apparently he's shifting back towards the mainline DCU ongoings after spending a couple years doing minis of dubious canonicity. Looks like creative teams will rotate and since Rob Williams is here and he's a writer not an artist, guess he's next up after King.

Green Arrow by Josh Williamson and Sean Izaakse - Williamson has been building up to this since the start of Infinite Frontier, cool that he's finally announcing the book. I'll admit I'm annoyed it's opening with a "we have to find Ollie who is lost out in the Multiverse!" arc, I'm sick of the Multiverse and I'm tired of DC "building up" to doing what everyone is asking them to. Just write a damn Green Arrow back where he's in Star City/Seattle interacting with the Arrow Family! Maybe Williamson doing a Multiverse story with a smaller cast will be more palatable, I did enjoy his Flash run after all.

Shazam! by Mark Waid and Dan Mora - Other than Superman proper this is probably the book Waid has been dying to write the most. He, Morrison, and Gail Simone pitched to take over the Marvel Family way back when, I bet he's got loads of ideas on how to revamp the character, and his ideas will probably be better received than Johns' revamp was. Solicit sounds great, Mora on art (and apparently still doing art for World's Finest, dude is a machine) is perfect, and Waid's handling of the Fab Five over in WF has shown he can handle younger characters still. Should be fun in the same way WF is.

The Penguin by Tom King and Stefano Gaudiano - Hah that's a pretty great team for a synergy book. King's Penguin in his Batman run was... well he seemed to be teasing that Penguin had sex with actual penguins, so clearly his take on Penguin is untraditional to say the least. Pitch seems interesting enough, Penguin back in crime because the government forced him back in as their agent is intriguing.

Steelworks (Creative Team TBA) - On one hand hell yes a new Steel book! Tell me Greg Pak is writing this and I am there day one. If it's not Pak however then I have qualms. The brief description in the press release makes it seem like John Henry is giving up on being Steel and handing over the role entirely to Natasha, and I've got no interest in that. S&L make me into a Nat fan but I love John Henry more, and I am not going to be happy if DC's idea of celebrating his 30th is him handing over the role to his niece. He better be the main protagonist and he better get to suit up and be Steel. Glad that DC has enough faith in PKJ to start spinning new series out of what he's doing.

Only two Bat books so fuck it, let's call it a win. Satisfied overall with the creative teams announced, for those that were actually announced, DC is playing it safe but after Infinite Frontier took risks and bombed that's exactly what I expected to happen. I guess the next event is going to be called Knighttime and will be another Batman event. Ugh. Also is that red circle with a bird supposed to represent Penguin, because it sure looks a lot like Hawkman’s symbol. Maybe a new Hawk book will be announced as part of the second wave? For the second wave I want books for Zatanna, Aquaman, Vixen, Justice League Dark (use the Shadowpact name if we're keeping the JL on ice for a while), Suicide Squad, and Legion of Superheroes, but as an opening lineup? I'm pretty happy with this!

[tommybaholland]

top bnha characters + their favorite movie with female leads to watch with their s/o

featuring: midoriya, bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, kaminari, jiro, shinso, amajiki, hado, and dabi 

here are the top 10 bnha characters based on the interest poll from last month, again listed in no particular order. obviously i haven’t seen every female (character) led movie ever made but hopefully these are accurate enough! enjoy. x 

midoriya -> captain marvel: he’s a huge fan of superhero movies in general, but captain marvel is his favorite female character from the mcu. not only does she have great humor but he feels like he can relate to her as well. her powers were given to her and are somewhat similar to his. she struggles with her own humanity and has several flaws but he finds comfort in the fact that that doesn’t mean she won’t be a great hero.

bakugo -> the hunger games: he likes the general concept of an annual fight to the death that is celebrated across a society annually. obviously he thinks that he would win if he were a chosen tribute. he hates peeta, actually he hates how the first movie ends and thinks cato should’ve won. then you ask him what he would do if you were also in the games with him which leaves him stumped but he believes he could think of something more creative. 

todoroki -> howl’s moving castle: we’ve established that he’s a studio ghibli buff and while there are a lot of female protagonists in those movies, the story of this particular one hits different for him. the idea of finding a long-lost love is beautiful and heartwarming. he likes to think that he met you somewhere in his past and had finally found you again, giving him a chance to say, “there you are, sweetheart. sorry, i’m late. i’ve been looking for you everywhere.”

kirishima -> little women: he doesn’t really understand why they’re called ‘little women’ despite it being mentioned in the movie but he’s up for reading the book after watching for the first time. he cries his eyes out at jo’s monologue about her yearning to be loved every time. the first time you watched it together he decided to confess his love for you all over again and that he never wants you to feel lonely again.

kaminari -> the house bunny: it’s not hard to guess why he likes this movie so much. it’s irreverent, got good one-liners in it, and features playboy bunnies. you like to tease him by shielding his eyes away from the visually mature scenes that he’s always so eager to see. he’s also very fascinated by american college life and dreams of throwing a super epic party except everyone has a quirk so it’ll be ten times more lit. whenever you go out to dinner together and there’s mahi mahi on the menu, you’ll recite shelley’s infamous line and it never fails to make him laugh. 

jiro -> juno: good soundtrack, deadpan humor, elliot page, and really heartfelt; what more could you ask for?? this is a movie that you two like to revisit every now and then simply because it was the first movie you watched together as a couple. she likes to tease you by saying that your relationship is like juno and paulie, in which you are paulie. it’s funny but you both agree that there are similarities between you two and the characters so it’s just more reason to love each other.

shinso -> ocean’s 8: next to horror movies, he also really enjoys films with complicated heists, something that makes you feel so satisfied when you find out how it all works. you think it’s ironic yet admirable that he likes watching movies involving seemingly impossible heists when he has a power that gives him instant gratification. he’s flattered by your observation but will counter by saying that he’ll be smart enough to stop heists like these as a hero. 

amajiki -> mulan: it’s entertaining, fun, and empowering. he feels inspired by the bravery of mulan to fight in a war but he also likes when you sing the songs to him. you once asked him what he would do or say if you wanted to go fight in war if he was not able to. he cannot lie and said that he’d worry like crazy about you even though you have great strength and ability but he’d never stop you from doing what you think is right and worth fighting for because he already knows that you would do the same for him. 

hado -> aquamarine: she seems like she liked to play mermaids when she was younger so this is the movie for her. she thinks it’s interesting that eighth graders present themselves as masters of love. nonetheless, she enjoys the overall message that love can be found everywhere. she always makes you dance with her during the island in the sun scene. she talks about going on a trip with you to australia where they shot the movie so you can play mermaids together.

dabi -> jennifer’s body: he used to find it dumb and pointless but honestly, he thinks the make out scene between needy and jennifer is pretty hot. one time you asked him what he would do if you died and was possessed to eat men and he tells you that he probably wouldn’t taste too good. however, he likes to playfully bite your neck and tell you that you’re delicious.

welcome back to bnha night! what requests do you have..

special thanks to the wonderful patrons for supporting this blog:

Lina Leveque | Syd

for exclusive nsfw writing and extras, join me on Patreon!

[popculturebuffet]

Ducktales: The Treasure of the Lost Lamp Movie Reviewcap! (Patreon Stretch Goal)

Hello all you happy people! And we have a special review today for two reasons. The first is that this is my second patreon stretch goal review, having hit the 15 dollar goal back in march thanks to my wonderful friend Emma, the same patreon whose responsible for the Green Eggs and Ham Reviews,  who helped me hit the 15 dollar goal.  As a result you fine people are getting three movie reviews each based on a Disney Afternoon Movie with Treasure of the Lost Lamp today, a goofy movie at the end of the motnh for  a weeklong tribute to my favorite dogmandadguy.  Extremley was going to be part of it but the length of this review convinced me otherwise, but I will be doing it this summer so keep an ear out. If you want to help me hit my next stretch goals do yourselve a favor and zip on over to my patreon YOU CAN FIND MY PATREON HERE. My next stretch goal at “OH Look 20 Dollars” would give everyone patreon and not, a monthly review of Darkwing Duck as decided by my patrons, reviews of BOTH season 2 mini series from Ducktales 87, introducing Fenton to the world and blighting it with Bubba before the 2017 series fixed him, and as a brucey bonus added last month a review of Danny Phantom the Ultimate Enemy. And if that wasn’t enough if you help me get to the goal after that at 25 unlocks another trilogy of disney film reviews, this time for the proud family and recess movie and the best kim possible movie, and dcom period, so the drama as well as Bryan Lee O’ Malley’s two stand alone graphic novels, lost at sea and seconds for you Scottaholics in the audience.

The other reason now the shilling’s done. is that the plan WAS to review this back to back with Treasure of The Found Lamp, to the point the orginal review had a whole thing about that, why it was delayed etc... but now that review’s been scrapped all together as something sudden and wonderful happened. After just kinda giving up someone came through with a translation of Della’s first apperance so presumibly i’ll be doing that as part of the build up to mother’s day, and since I still want ot do maternal instincts too, and already had to let the Floyd Gottfredson birthday special slide away as well... it had to go as I want to leave the only open space on the schedule for the lovely person who found the story for me. But this review is still done, i’m very proud of it so join me under the cut won’t you?

Behind The Scenes: Before I get into it i’d just like to note this article from SyFy Wire. It , along with articles I found via wikipedia citations, was an invaluable resource. 

The film was an experiment: It was an experiment to see if one of their tv properties could bring in theatrical money, to see if a movie made on a cheaper budget and still rake in decent money, to see if a film could be made being outsourced to several diffrent places, and to see what one of those places, their recently aquiried french stuido, could handle this kind of work. 

The film, if succesful would be the first of Disney’s MovieToons line, a series of films based on their shows. As you can tell by the fact only this movie and Goof Troop happened and the Movie Toons label wasn’t applied to that one it very much failed. While the film was warmly recevied by people who liked the show general audiences didn’t turn out for it. As a result the MovieToons label was scrapped, future projects with it were canceled.. but the stellar work put in by the french stuidio lead to it perserviering for several more decades and lead to them working on the Goofy Movie, which we’ll get to later this month but needless to say was a MUCH bigger hit with a much bigger budget. 

As for why the film failed... I have two theories. THe first is that parents were stupid back then and didn’t want to pay to see something on the big screen they could see on tv’s. This is a stupid mentality to me as generally a movie of a tv show puts in a ton of extra effort and usually goes bigger and dosen’t go home. It’s a likely theory given most liscened films of the era didn’t do quite well, with all three hasbro films tanking. And look I get Transformers the Movie is cheesy and killed a lot of people’s childhood toys, but damn if it ain’t aweosme.. and also something I need to cover at some point. Thankfully this died out by later in the 90′s with Rugrats getting a hugely succesful if flawed film, a better sequel and a third one that was also a crossover with the wild thornberries. 

And even now in 2020 we’re getting the Loud House and Rise of the TMNT movies sometimes this summer, we were SUPPOSED to have gotten the bobs burgers movie this summer but arne’t because Disney is being a dick about it.

And we got a phineas and ferb movie last year. With this trend hopefully thsi means we’ll get a Ducktales 2017 movie at some point since season 4 left a huge sequel hook laying right there to grab for a feature film.  One final note: The film was conceptually thought up as a 5 part serial like “Treasure of the Golden Suns”, “Catch as Cash Can”, “SuperDucktales” and “Time is Money, something that DOES show as the movie weirdly has act breaks. In a feature film. Yup. 

The Guest Cast:

I won’t go into the full cast since I’ve sung Alan Young and Russi Taylor’s praises PLENTY on this blog before, and I plan to go into Beakly and Launchpad’s actors when they show up in the pilot movie. But i’d be remiss if i didn’t talk about our three guest actors for our three new parts. 

First up is Merlock voiced by legend and if I had a hall of fame, hall of famer Christopher Lloyd.. I need to get me one of those. Lloyd is of course known for playing Doc Brown in back to the future but has done countless other films, voicework, and other good stuff. Among his MASSIVE filmography includes The Back to the Future Trilogy (Already mentioned it but it bears repeating), Star Trek III, Who Framed Roger Rabbit as the pants destroyingly terrifying Judge Doom, The Addams Family duology as fester, a role rip torn would ironcially play for the animated series made to captalize on said movie, Hey Arnold! The Movie, The Oogieloves in The Big Ballon Adventure (Look everybody needs money sometimes okay?), and Art of the Deal: The Movie, which was not, thankfully an ego filating nightmare made by trump himself but a film made by funny or die parodying his terrible book and having Llloyd return as Doc Brown. TV Wise he’s known for Taxi, Back to the Future the Animated Series, Cyberchase and he most recently popped up on Big City Greens. How I missed that ep I.. do know as I haven’t watched season 2. Gonna fix that later this month. Lloyd is utterly awesome, a great guy and thankfully still alive at the time of this writing, so I was happy to have him here. 

Less familiar to me but still known is Rip Taylor, a comedian known for his flamboyant unique way of speech and his marvelous mustache. He showed up in things occasionally and always seemed like the nicest guy and his passing in late 2019 truly is sad. He does a terrific job here but more on that in a moment. 

Finally we have Richard Libertini, a comedian I never really saw in anything besides this who according to IMDB was most famous for his ablility to do a foreign accent. I REALLY hope all of them aren’t as horribly racist as this one. We’ll.. get to that in a sec as it’s time for the plot!

A Treasure Uncovered:

We open our film gorgeously. The animation is great in the film, having some rough edges I chalk up to the film’s hectic production, the studio being new at working at disney properties, and the film not being meant for HD. That being said a few rough spots here and there aside.. the film looks ungodly gorgeous. Like most theatrical films based on a cartoon it takes an already great style and makes it look great. It feels like a more fluid evolution of the cartoons look and it’s a shame we didn’t get more movies in this style for both this show and others, ESPECIALLY Darkwing Duck. Can you imagine a Darkwing Duck movie with this lush animation? Hopefully we’ll get one eventually. 

So our heroes are going to somewhere in the Middle East. That’s.. that’s all wikipedia gives me and all the film gives me. As usual Scrooge is after treasure in this case the Treasure of Collie Baba, the greatest thief there ever was based obviously off Ali Baba from 1001 nights and that one Beastie Boys song. 

It’s here we find the WORST thing about the film, the thing that makes this a hard one to watch depsite otherwise being pretty good, and that makes my skin crawl knowing i’m a white man and a BUNCH of white guys, Ducktales series creator who did the voice casting for this character, the writers who wrote him, the direector disney them fucking selves who thought this was okay. 

The film has some horrible steroytping. It starts with a bunch of backgorund guys surronding Scrooge, with crooked teeth and steotypical voices. This on it’s own is odious. 

It somehow gets worse. Then we meet one of our antagonists. We meet Dijon. 

This Fucking Guy 

Djon is horribly offensive reminding me of other such luminaries in being ungodly offensive yet somehow getting put to film as Jar Jar Binks (With all respeect to his poor actor Ahmed Best, this is not his fault), Rob Schinder as a Sterotypically asian preist, Skids and Mudflap, Rob Schinder as a sterotypically mexican bandit, The Whitewashed cast of The Last Airbender, and Rob Schinder as a stereotypically asian preist. What i’m saying is Djon is an AWFUL, horribly offensive character.. and that Rob Schinder should be shot up into space, not to watch cheesy movies, he’s not funny enough for that, but instead to be sent to a satlitie that’s liveable, but also filled to the brim with spring loaded boxing gloves. Just tons of boxing gloves that feel like getting punched by a heavewight boxer all hidden... they could hit his legs, his face, his nuts, his face and his nuts, the point is he’s in constnat pain unless he moves carefully. 

And lest you think i’m exaggerating for starters this is his design. 

It just screams “vaugely but sterotpyically middle eastern” along with cowardly. The fact he’s also a literal rat is just the icing on the cake made of broken glass, shrapnel and broken DVD’s of Transformers; Revenge of the Fallen. They say if you eat a reveng eof the fallen dvd John Tutoro appears at the foot of your bed and watches you while you sleep.. and by they I mean me. It was a bad bet. I got rid of him with some insese and a bribe of five dollars. 

Oh but that’s just design.. when he talks it’s MUCH worse. His voice is like if they took Apu from the simpsons and said “This but MORE offensive”, and his perosnality is WORSE. He’s a thief.. and not in the endearing loveable rogue way but he’s a pick pocket and a running “Gag’ is that he’ll often grab eveyrthing within reahc. As the deisgn shows he’s a coward running at every opportunity. Oh and to top it all off he’s the willing servant of the white coded, given all ducks in this series are white coded and voiced bby white actors, big bad. And the actor is naturally VERY white to make this cocktail of offensivness so complete that if Disney ever got rid of this film I GUARANTEE the republcian party would be running in with accusations of cancel culture gone amok and never shutting up about this like they did the muppets. Which for the record THEY DIDN’T CANCEL THEM, YOUR POINT IS ILLEGITMATE, THEY JUST WANTED TO BE SENSTIVE YOU GHOULS. 

I do have a reason for bringing up Disney’s content warnings... most damming of all given just how DEEPLY uncomfortbale this character is.. there isn’t one for this movie. I double checked: There isn’t even wanring notes on the website. It’s just.. on there. And given just how ghastly a sterotype Djon is.. that’s not right. Seriously they DID put them on certain episodes of the show, theyk now this sort of thing is wrong and they done wrong.. but for NO reason they haven’t done so for a film released 31 years ago. Around the same time as the series and just offensive as that show at it’s worst if not more so. This is flatly inexcusable.. par for the course for Disney’s incompetence but still horribly furstrating, disgusting and shameful.. which has been the theme of the last three days really. I expect better because when it comes to putting that warning label on this stuff, they usually are better. First the scheduling mixup and now this. You already do a handful of things wrong Disney why add this to the list?!

It’s just draining not only to run into another Disney Fuckup after a weekend of dealing with one of their worst in recent memory, but just to watch Djon. To see this horrible caractrure saunter onto the screen and go on with his harmful schtick, to see that THIS is what Ducktales 87 reduced non white people to more often than not.  It’s remarkable just how throughly and awesomely Frank and Matt completely and totally reversed this. Instead of horrible sterotypes in the reboot, we got TONS of loveable people of color, an endearing latino hero, a smart african american buisness woman who takes no shit but is still a consumate professional, and an egyptian HERO with an intresting story and a strong moral code instead of this horrible reminder that racisim in media was such an afterthought not ONE person brought this up during the scyfy wire stuff or in any inteview i’ve seen. No one cared. Djon was POPULAR enough that he got three episode sin the series. THREE FUCKING EPISODES. This film could be GOOD.. but it’s just so bogged down EVERY FUCKING TIME this artists interpreitation of what Tucker Carlson sees when he looks at a middle eastern person I had to pause to compose myself and had to take a break writing this review to avoid tyiping this in all caps and using the phrase YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKERS every other sentence. And again i’m white, I get this is second hand offensiveness.. I do... but it dosen’t mean I can’t be offended other white people were so callous about other cultures behaviors this happened.

And what makes me feel worse.. is that I just sorta... never thought about white people voicing non white characters. Things like this I noticed sure, I realize now part of the reason I didn’t like this movie the first time I saw it was this alex jones version of a looney tune, but I do feel shame for not noticing or caring long before this. Sure I loved it when a character of color got played by a person of color.. but I didn’t realize just how deep that problem was and how LONG it went on for before the outcry post george floyd and the call to action lead to most shows still going course correcting. It’s why stuff like this extra botehrs me: because THIS was just as okay at the time. No one blinked twice about this and odds are the creators involved still haven’t. And that.. that’s just terrible and it hurts to think about and  I still have most of the movie to go.  

The Pyramid of Peril:

So we do get a gorgeous unvewling scene of a box Scrooge found out about from Collie Baba’s horde that should lead them to the treasure. This scene reminds me of Indina Jones.. and I bring this up because the poster was specifically made to mimick an indinia jones poster, to the point of getting drew struzan to do it. THe creator of Ducktales objected..l but I do not get WHY. While I”m not sure if he had yet, Speilberg flat out admits the Carl Barks comics were an inspiration for Indina Jones, with the iconic bolder chase coming from a similar scene in one of Barks Stories. Gotta cover that too. So yeah I don’t get not wanting an indina jones style poster when both were inspiried by the same work and it’s just simple logic and it looks so neat. Thank you. 

Scrooge finds seemingly just clothes.. and a map. Jeff Dunham’s Most Racist Puppet reports to his master, Merlock. Merlock is a.. meh villian. Christopher Lloyd does try.. but Lock is your standard evil overlord wants to take over the world type. He dosen’t have much depth, or personality and only his style saves him from dragging the film down along with Dana Carvey’s most racist disguise in master of disguise. He does have a deent shape shifting gimick and being played by Christopher Lloyd means he’s acted TREMENDOUSLY. Alan Young was apparently in awe watching him work and that’s wonderful to hear. The guy did his best. Weirdly Merlock would show up in tons of other works, mostly video games.. but even weirder he NEVER showed up in ducktales 2017. Both Djon and Gene would, Djon thankfully renamed we’ll get to all of that tommorow thank god. I need it after this. But Frank has outright said they didn’t use Merlock because there simply wasn’t anything they could do with him they couldn’t dow ith magica. My likely guess is the might of found a way to revamp him EVENTUALLY, it’s not like radical revamps weren’t there thing come on, they just had way more stories with Magica and didnd’t get around to it before the show was canceled. Just make him some sort of evil god or something. it’s what I might do. There’s a lot of angles with him. Though I would’ve still gotten christopher lloyd back. I mean most of the recasting is good but he’s still alive and deserved a better shot at things. 

So Merlock sends Djonn to go with scrooge as his guide to find the treasure, as there’s something of imense power within it. And I gotta ask WHY does Merlock need a minon. No really. This isn’t a situation like reboot magica where he’s trapped in another realm. He can shapeshift into any animal. We only see him use falcon, rat, cockroach and bear but theoritically he can become anything and bear alone is still a LOT. Why does he need this sterotype even other sterytopes ar eashamed of? The film dosen’t NEED Djonn. Just let Christopher Lloyd monologue and leave this post 911 propogranda cartoon at home. 

So our heroes nad rejected jar jar prototype head into the desert, and seemingly find nothing before finding a small pyramid all while Merlock follows desecretley as a mighty hawk. 

Scrooge makes the boys and Djon dig... because they clearly forgot the “work hard” part of his ethos. 

Our heroes unveil the pyramid... and while Merlock SAYS he searched the desert and I get it’s hard to see thourgh all of that.. the dude is immortal, had decades to search and had Mickey Rooney there on standby to force him to go comb the desert. I have an artist rendering of that hang on

So our heroes enter the pyramid and it goes.. really how you’d expect: there’s a bunch of traps our brave explorers have to pass, the boys minintpret a juinor woodchuck saying about loosing your marbles to mean using the ones they actually have which geninely comes in handy as they trip the traps and Rob SChinder as a carrot stumbles into one. Also launchpad is wearing a hawaiin shirt and shades. This has no baring on the plot, but it does bring the movie up a notch in my book and I question why the reboot never used this outfit. Then again they also never properly used Donald’s Quack Pack Outfit (Which bad show or not, is objectively awesome), or his Quack Shot Indiana Jones Riff Outfit, so  it’s not like there isn’t a presdecnt for not giving a character a cool costume change from a previous medium. I really should do a top 12 missed opportunities list for the 2017 cartoon.. the ideas for stuff are really piling up. 

OUr heroes eventually find the treasure which has insidiously clever security the more I think about it: at first I thought it had none, just a pit with some... scorpions? I mean their supposed to be but they look like they crawled out of the same stygian hole in the sky Doofus crawled out of. And if your asking me “wait which Doofus” the answer is both. Both these abominations crawled out of a stygian hole in the sky.

But the treasure is on a platform surrounded by scoprions with the only way out being the trap filled way they came in. Unless someone comes in with a full team and a bunch of lootin sacks, they aren’t getting out with EVERYTHING. They can steal SOME of the treasure but there’s no way to get any signifigant portion... and the team thing itself is an issue, something Collie defintely predicted being a thief himself: while some thieves can work well as a team, hence why we have four oceans movies 3/4 damn good, and for the record 12 is the bad one, 8 is how you do a soft reboot and a female led reboot right, a good chunk of professional crooks will turn on each other or try and swinldle... and tha’ts dangerous in a trap filled temple but hey some criminals ain’t so smart.  If they all were Rudy Gulliani wouldn’t have two razzies for preparing to pull his pants down, and have waved his phone around on tv like a dare for future adminstrations to arrest the shit out of him would he? 

But Scrooge has his family so they get loading. But not before Webby finds the lamp. Not knowing about it Scrooge has no intrest in it, but Webby does. We also get a really simple but hilarious gag where SCrooge dickers over the idea for a second.. before Webby picks up a Jeweled tiara to possibly take instead. The best gags to me are often the ones that just let the character’s perosnalities take the lead and bounce off each other. It’s why when I reviewed the four lilo and stitch crossovers recently I harped on character interaction as their biggest weakness: it’s what MAKES a good work for me. It’s why my faviorite comics and shows often follow a loveable group of disfunctional misfits. I like a group of big personalities who despite in theory should NOT be able to work making it work anyway. And it’s honeslty what’s made Scrooge last so long: Scrooge on his OWN is awesome.. but iwth the boys, donald, and in the case of this series and the reivival Webby and Launchpad, with people to bounce off of who he contrasts heavily with, from Launchapd’s buffonery to Webby’s inehrent sweetness in both versions, to the boys genuine honesty and sense of adventure.... it makes him truly stand out. He’s a great character on his own, don’t get me wrong.. but it’s the people around him that give him chances to show WHY. A good character on it’s own is fine and dandy.. a good character with other good characters around them is where it gets truly special. 

Merlock naturally bursts in and in a VERY Black Heron move needlesly outs what micheal bay sees when he closes his eyes as a bad guy... no really he grabs the guy with his talons as he captures the treasure and reveals he’s a bad guy. I don’t even get why keep Djonn alive. He’s done all Merlock possibly could’ve needed and Merlock is ruthless... this makes no sense and only happens because they need Djonn for later in the plot.

Our heroes barely escape, rafting out on the platform itself in a thrilling sequence.. but it’s the one right after that catches my attention. Scrooge utterly defeated, having searched for this treasure for forty years and unresponsive to everyone else. The anmation, coupled with the incomprable Alan young’s acting makes this the highlight of the film for me. Beneath the armor of wealth and skill.. is only a poor old man who just lost something he’s been chasing after most of his life. Scrooge tries his hardest not to be vunerable and both shows and the original comics all use that so when he truly is devistated like this, and i’ts belivible since this treasure is a personal goal of his and as someone who has had things that they seek out specifically, loosing them always hurts. It hurts to ALMOST reach a goal only to have it crumble out under you

But while this alone is good.. what’s next makes it great. Webby sweetly offers up the lamp. Scrooge turns it down, and her genuine gesture reinvgorates him and reminds us of who he is “I’ll find it if it takes another 40 years”> Scrooge may be bitter, mean and selfish a lot of the time.. but deep down, he’s a good man and one who will not give up, and a momentary setback can only stop him so long as long as he has his family to remind him of who he truly is.. and what’s truly important. It’s genuinely sweet and to me is also a reminder of why 87 Webby is a good character: Shes’ not perfect, her main personality trait is often Girl Sterotype”.. but she’s a genuinely sweet small child with a huge heart. It’s telling that while 17′ Webby is almost completely diffren,t and far better, that heart remains her biggest strength. Sure her reboot self could kill a man nad no one would ever find the body, but it’s her heart and empathy that makes that possible and makes her Webby.  That inherent loving nature is what makes Webby webby wether she’s a toddler having a tea party or a tween getting ready to intergoate a guy with a meat tenderizer while saying ‘Cute girl stuff”. 

Gene Genie Let’s Himself Go:

It’s a few days later and this is the point where it REALLY becomes obvious this was written as a bunch of episodes. Though to the film’s credit while it does ake this feel like a compliation movie as a result... it dosen’t hamper the film’s quality, condiment from Rush Limbaghs’ hot dog stand does that just fine, but once you notice it it’s impossible to unotice it. Weirdly though it seems chunked up into four episodes rather than the usual five, likely cutting down an episode, though I can’t see where they cut out material frankly if they did and i’ts just as likely they woudl’ve had to make one to fill in the space.

So Scrooge is in a mood, being grumpy with his secretary Mrs. Featherly, quackfaster in all but name, and having to be sent home. So while Duckworth goes to fetch him Webby polishes her treasure at long last readying for a tea party, something the boys roundly reject because their sexist little twits and swo were the writers or executies who assumed all little boys act the same. It’s easily my biggest pet peeve with the series as a whole: anytime this crops up with the boys it turns them into the worst dicks imaginable. It’s telling this, being mean about her wantin ga tea party with her surrogate brothersi s TAME. Normally they’ll say she can’t do things because she’s a girl or mock her hobies outright instead of just be mildly dickish. And while she dosen’t look much younger Webby is VERY CLEARLY, in this series anyway, supposed to be say 5 or 6 to the boys 8-10. 7 at most. SHe’s a small child and while it is realistic for older kids to bully younger ones, it’s not fun to watch. It’s why I get annoyed at all the big sibling bully characters.. some work, but most aren’t fun to watch because there’s nothing funny or intresting about it. It’s the same deal here. 

Thankfully that quickly goes away as the lamp moves when Webby rubs it and does so again to prove it did move. Huey finishes it and we’re introduced to Gene, the best part of the film.  Gene is a Genie and he takes a second to dart around before messing with the appliances in the kitchen, as he was last around during the time 1001 Nights Came About. Cleverly though, and so we thankfully don’t have 80 dozen fishout of water jokes that have already been done before. As you can probably guess i’m not a huge fan of time travel fish out of water stuff. Now from another dimensoin or planet, i’m on board with with Star Vs, Steven Universe and Sym-Bionic Titan being great examples of this, as is the comic resident alien. (Despite having the wonderous Alan Tuduk the show sounds way more mean spirited and misses the entire point of the comic as given by the author in the credits, i.e. that the alien is supposed to NOT be a threat and just be gently waiting for a ride) The inverse is also good with Amphbia and owl house, taking a human and plopping them into our world. But time travel stuff just usually runs the same beats of “look at the shiny thing” and what not. The only time i’ve sene something SIMILAR work is with thor where their society is SIMILAR to vikings time but still it’s own thing.. it also gave us a classic gag in..

So yeah i’m glad they dropped this and instead had a clever way around it: Gene reads the encylopedia at the mansion. Granted it’s Scrooge so I don’t know how current it is and given this came out in 1990 thus HOW racist it is. It’s not a questoin of IF it was, but how much.

But having caught up the kids confront him with the fact he has to grant wishes. This lamp runs on what I now realize are Aladdin rules: Whoever currently holds the Lamp is the Genie’s master, they only get three wishes, and that dosen’t reset if it changes hands. The only big diffrence from the usual is Gene dosen’t have to TELL them about the wishes like Genie did, and Gene very begrudginly agrees to it. He also seem’s phsyically pained when doing so. 

So since all 12 know about him, each of the kids gets a wish though it seems unfair with HDL. Their one person, they shoudln’t get 9 wishes just because their brain is spread out over three bodies. 

This film continues the weird simliarties to Aladdin by attaching rules though they instead come up as a result of our heroes talking rather than the Genie just flat out tleling them: both share the “you can’t wish for more wishes” thing, a common rule in these stories and usually only broken nowadays as a clever twist as the rule is SO common place, not having it is a twist. But it is there for a reason: to limit the sheer power of a reality warping wish. The wishes can also only go so far. In a nice line, when Huey, Dewey or Louie suggests wishing for peace one earth, Gene says “No pipe dreams’ He can’t bend people or reality on THAT scale. He can bend reality as we find out, but it’s smaller scales like turning someone’s possesions over ot someone else, warping the bin into a castle, or bringing inanitamte objects to limited life. Still HUGE feats worth of a genie, so Gene’s power isn’t so nerfed it’s unusuable, but it does explain why his evil pervious ownder Merlock, more ont hat in a bit too, didn’t just wish to have eternal dominon over the earth or something. Gene can do just about anything but he can’t change the world on a fundemental level. 

And I do LIKE having rules in wished based stories like this, I chalk it up to growing up with Fairly Odd Parents... though they eventually went too far in the oppsoitie direction, pulling rules out of their ass to suit the episode, instead of simply having some very standard, very understandable rules that still pose challenges but don’t outright cheat so the episode can happen. 

So Webby does her first wish.. and wishes for a Baby Elephant, something Gene is against as he prefers they keep the wishes small: otherwise he gets found out, and the fight over him begins. So one of the boys wishes him away. Or Webby does. Point is it’s gone though not before Beakly sees it and Scrooge smells something is up. Our heroes try to hide gene, but gene thankfully simply dresses up like a modern kid and thus is able to pass as a friend of there staying for the night. 

So with the rules established and what not the kids find a clever solution: they simply go a ways away from the mansion into the woods, far enough from town to avoid any suspcion, and same iwth the mansion and just wish for all kinds of stuff: a giant bunch of ice cream toys, standard kid wish fufillment but it’s nice... in part because the kids treat Gene like one of them. Wihle they STARTED asking him about the wishes, this starts the bonding process. Soon he will be part of the hive mind.. SOON. 

Until then though after using another wish to make scrooge not mad at them for coming home late and missing dinner, that night we find out Gene’s backstory.... and it’s an utter tearjerker. As it turns out Merlock wants him back because he’s Gene’s former master and as you’d guess.. it was NOT a happy existnace, used contstnatly to do horrible things with no power to stop himself. Pompeii and Atlantis were both directly Merlock’s fault and it was only Collie Baba stealing the lamp that put an end to his hell. He also answers the two obvious questions botht he audeiince and the boys have: How the hell is Merlock still alive and shoudln’t he be out of wishes then? The first is simple. Unlike pretty much every DBZ Villian whose WANTED to do so, Merlock wished for immortality first chance he got, taking the Zamasu route instead and thus leaving him free. 

As for the wishes thing it turns out his amulet, in adition to shapeshifting, also gives him extra wishes becuase fuck it. 

But the boys sweetly offer to protect him. 

The next day, Apu’s Cousin let’s Merlock know the maps in the mansion and Merlock has him help sneak in with Merlock taking rat form. This backfires as Mrs. Beakley notices the form and chases after him with a broom

Meanwhile Webby has her tea party with Gene after he and the boys played cops and robbers earlier, and he’s bored.. though nicely not because it’s a girly thing, but because the stuffed animals aren’t alive and she naively has him fix that. This leads to 

Which sadly is jsut scrooge vs a duck toy but admit it, you want that movie for Disney Plus yesterday. Call Charles Band Disney. CALL CHARLES BAND! 

Whelp Scrooge Still Sucks:

Scrooge takes for a turn for the obnoxious in the next part, but i’ts fine by me as it’s part of the plot. Naturally this reinactment of Cult of Chucky has lead to Scrooge finding out about the Genie. To his credit, Scrooge is tactical about his wishes. As said by the Duck himself “I could wish for a diamond, no the world’s biggest dimaond, no ten world’s biggest diamond, no a diamond mind, no the MINING INDUSTRY!”

The sheer power this gives him is TERRIFYING, both because of his status.. and because unlike the kids who all wished for simple kid stuff and used up their wishes quickly, he both gets how much he can do with this and could conquer the world economy if he truly wanted to. 

The obnoxious part comes in as he treats Gene as not a person, figuring he’s just there and forces him into the lamp despite the kids protests after Gene grants his first wish: Collie Baba’s treasure. It also dosen’t feel like the wishing nor him using the lamp to get the tresure back goes against his hard work ethos: for the former while he is getting all this magically, he’s still having ot use his wits to get the most out of it, and he did earn the lamp itself square. For the latter, he already earned the treasure square too and had it stolen. He’s onlyg etting back what’s by all rights HIS. Granted he plans on giving most of it up for a tax break but still it’s his by right. 

However the reason his assholery works is twofold: first it’s Scrooge. While he’s not a TERRIBLE person, in the comcis and this cartoon he isn’t a GOOD person either. He DOES have a good heart and will usually do the right thing, but his first instnct is always to get more money and to be a cantakerous old bastard to eveyrone and everything. While he’s subtly grew out of “I hate eveyrone and everyone hates me” as his guiding principal, it’s still his defualt reaction to most situations. But he first relents by letting Gene attend the party, part of why the Collie Baba thing stung so bad was that he’s told the historical society he’d get the treasure for years only to come back empty handed, if shrunken. But he still manages to have a good time while Asok and Merlock infiltrate.. well I’mRunningOutofINsultingNIcknamesCanYouTell steals the silverware. Yes... that.. that really happens. 

Look we’re almost done, i’m almost free of this racist mummies curse. Let’s continue. Gene sees melock and freaks and drags SCrooge with him and while at First Scrooge is cranky...

No but now I want a Donkey Kong Country crossover too dammmit. And to talk about those games. Another thing for the list. But Scrooge is righ tot be a bit surly...

Okay now your just pushing it. As Gene whisked him away without telling him anything other than vauge worries... but then he gets a full idea of why Gene’s so terrified when Merlock shapeshifts into a bear and starts breaking the door down. Eh, could be worse. 

Gene shrinks them to escape and Merlock leaves thinking they fled but leaves Skids Minus Mudflap to go look for them. Scrooge sneaks out but bumps into a cart running from the photo you see when you look up stereotype on google. I mean I assume.. let’s try it. 

Huh you know I HOPED but I never expected... 

So Google Proving My Point plans to give his lamp to the master because of his weird Torgo-Esque obession with helping a man who clearly wants to murder him but takes his sweet time doing so because plot, and Gene figuring this COULDN’T POSSIBLY go as bad as Melock getting him urges the dummy to keep him and make his own wishes.

This goes about as well as you’d expect....

Wiped Out With A Wish:

Scrooge returns home to find Watto has wished to take his poessions, fortune, everything and Scrooge gets thrown in jail for breaking into his own house. We get two great moments back to back. The first is Scrooge lamenting loosing his fortune in jail, and realizing the sheer power and risk of the lamp, especially since he worked hard to earn it, every bit of it.. and Sam Wilson’s 70′s Backstory came in and took it all in an instant. 

The second is Scrooge’s family coming for him, including Launchpad , Beakly and Webby obviously and bailing him out. Though Beakly is UNGOLDLY annoying in this scene, sobbing hysterically and adding nothing and it’s not nearly as funny as the  film thinks. Turns out Goliath getting buried wrapped in chains threw them out. 

Scrooge takes a bit to rebound from all this.. but eventually realizes something: he knows the security of the bin inside and out. He had it put in after all. So it’d be easy enough to break in. So they gotta break in to break out the lamp, undo this nightmare, and END THIS MOVIE. Seriously this review has taken two days  as is I do NOT want to miss my invincible review. 

So they break into the bin, and it’s a tightly paced Scene, scrooge going in one way while the kids go the other and we even get a nice callback as the marbels come in handy to get past one of the traps. It’s just a good scene. it’s only real flaw is that Launchapd just sorta disappears as does Duckworth despite the fact their in a plane, and the bin later gets turned into a floating castle. Kinda a plot hole to not have Launchpad crash in to save htem just saying. 

Scrooge eventually does get to Djonn, whose been ignoring the imminent threat of Merlock while Gene sweats it out... and this backfires horribly as Merlock hitched a ride as a roach (Though there was a hilarious scene of him getting fried constnatly by lasers when Louie went through a laser hallway, as while Louie had the directions, it dind’t take into account passengers on your head. 

So Merlock remanifests in full gets the Lamp and unleashes his wrath on Tin Tin in the Congo and turns him into a wild pig. 

Not you sweetie. He then forces Gene to turn the castle into a fortress and float it back to his home in parts unknown. It’s a DAMN cool scene with impressive and horrifiing animation as the bin melts and crumbles into thte castle and the kids barely make it up the stares as they shift and disolve. Really top notch stuff.

Scrooge stands up to Merlock... and this naturally goes poorlyw ith Gene begging Merlock not to respond.. and Merlock having him blow scrooge off the top of the forgtess storm eagle style, though scrooge understands. And this is the true reason why scrooge being a dick didn’t bother me so much. Because it helps create a great contrast between him and Merlock. Both thought of Gene as a tool rather than a person.. but Scrooge grew to realize he was wrong and what he was dealing with wasn’t some magical goodies creator.. but a child forced to constantly grant wishes, in sheer agony to do so no less, likely so sick of it because again and again and again people used him as a slave to get what they wanted and to hell with what Gene wanted. He realized he was terrible for making this poor boy into his slave simply because that’s his job. In contrast Merlock could give no shits and is a malevolent monster who glefully uses Gene despite the pain the wishes put him through and his protests. It’s why Gene is the best part.. he’s  athroughly likeable, throughly inncoent character with tons of personality and a truly tragic and horrifying backstory and Rip Taylor acts the hell out of every scene with the guy. 

Thankfully the marbles come in handy one last time and Huey, Dewey or Louie snipes the lamp away and a struggle for it insues between Scrooge and Merloc mid air. it’s fucking awesome.. and it get sbetter in how scroogewins. He simply gets rid of Merlock’s amulet, taking it then throwing it. Grante dhe COULD’EVE used it for unimited wishes.. but it was too risky to do that and as we’ll see in the ending , Scrooge realized the Lamp was too powerful to keep around for much longer and too much of a tempting target for his rogues.. not that we see them this movie as the crew wanted it to bea ccesaible and thus kept hte cast to the main cast from season 1 and just made new vilians and a new supporting character, but still. 

He does use his second wish though to undue the damage Merlock had done and the bin and clan mcduck are returned to duckburg in good condition.

Time for our ending, which is genuinely and wholly touching. With the lamp too dangerous to use Scrooge considers just sending it to the earth’s core, which horrifies the kids as it’d mean Gene would be trapped there forever... if the molten lava iddn’t just outright destory the lamp and probably kill him. But Scrooge.. isn’t the bastard he likes to potray himself as. Instead he makes Gene into a real boy. He gives the poor kid HIS wish, which designrates the lamp and undoes all the spells... so Merlock is PROBABLY dead but he does return for some games so maybe not? 

And so we end on two things: Gene happily playing cops and robbers with the boys finally free.. and Birth of A Nation grabbing all the loot he can in his patns and running off. Ha ha ha thank god i’m done with this prick. And no I will not be looking at his ducktales episodes unless I have to. 

Final Thoughts:

This movie is OKAY. It has a solid plot, gene is a wonderful chacter, the animatoin is pretty prettay pretty good, and the voice acting as usual is excellent, with Rip Taylor being the standout. 

But as my paragraphs of rage shoud’ve made Clear Djonn is just BAD. Easily the worst character i’ve encountered in my year of reviewing and some of the worst writing i’ve ran into. And that writing includes a goblin man voyerstically forcing two teenagers to make out, making jokes about santa renaming himself Clem the sceneafter he tearfully confessed to letting the elves and ms. claus die, accidental transphobia via the u-men, and Bryan Lee O malley thinking we needed more than one volume of Julie Powers being around.  This was disgusting, even by 1990 standards and especially by 2021 standards and it drags the film down considerably. Without it the film is okay.. with it the film is just VERY hard to watch any time he pops up.  He made getting through the movie a nightmare and while I pause a lot becaue it’s a bad habbit I did so more simply because as I said earlier in the review I could not stand him. 

It makes it a hard film to recommend. If you can stomach the racisim, then it might be worth it, but be aware of what your putting up with going in. But if you can’t.. there’s no shame in that, it’s carbombya levels of bad. Which yes was a real fictoinal country. It was so bad Casey Casem quit transformers over it. True story. So yeah, it’s an okay film, on par with the series at it’s best for the most part.. but Djonn just spoils it for me. 

If you liked this review, like it, share it around that sort of thing and if you want MORE disney movie reviews, in addiiton to the goofy movie one later this month, if you help me hit my 25 dollar stretch goal on patroen.com/popculturebuffet, i’ll do reviews of the Recess, Proud Family and Kim Possible MOvies (Well so the drama anyway), so help me out would you and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

[acrossthewavesoftime]

Ooh, tell us more about your Hornblower Ulysses theory!

Sorry for being so tardy in my reply! But this is a somewhat long one, so bear with me please:

Full disclaimer: I haven't been through the Divina Commedia (Divine Comedy) recently, so there might be (probably is) a whole lot more...

I frankly got the idea when reading the Inferno canto XXVI from Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy (c. 1307-1321).

So, to go about this properly it is necessary to preface my hopefully not too long-winded and boring remarks by pointing out that Dante didn’t know any Greek and thus only knew Ulysses from Latin texts, not from the original. So when I talk about Ulysses, I mean specifically Dante’s take on him, not the original Odysseus of Homer’s Odyssey.

The first thing I found quite remarkable, and which speaks more for a general interest of C. S. Forester’s in Dante without yet mentioning Ulysses, is that Horatio’s (professional) journey resembles Vergil’s and Dante’s voyage through the realms of purgatory, hell, and heaven, albeit with a distinct focus on the former two. Due to Horatio’s extreme self-doubt and -criticism, he always appears to view himself more of a spectator or observer of what happens around him rather than a part of it; he seems to be a visitor in a world he does not quite fit in despite his professional successes.

Horatio’s progress as running parallel to Dante’s progress through purgatory, hell and heaven is even more strongly emphasised in the movies, where Archie even greets him with the words “welcome to purgatory”, which do not feature in the book.

Canto XXVI starts off with a mocking address to Florence on account of the city’s imperial expansionism. In this, there may be the first parallel to the setting of the Horatio Hornblowernovels, set at a time in history marked by the expansion of the British Empire.

With Ulysses however, the tone changes; he’s a generally sympathetic character in that he is a acknowledged as a man renowned for greatness, yet this greatness does not mean he is free of flaws, a streak echoed in the character of Hornblower to the point that Horatio is painfully aware not only of his own shortcomings, but the magnitude and possible extent of his decisions, particularly as an officer with sole command over a vessel of his own, too.

Now, for the obvious stuff: Ulysses has a wife and son (Penelope and Telemachus), so does Hornblower (Barbara and Richard, the latter being Horatio’s sole surviving child from his first marriage). Ulysses’ travels halt when he stays a while with Circe, and for Horatio it’s his French mistress Marie, the widowed daughter-in-law of the Comte de Graçay.

I particularly find the chapter The Squire of Smallbridge in Commodore Hornblower quite telling; Horatio has everything any man could wish for; he’s famous, he is married to the woman he loves and who also gives him rather important connections; he’s for the first time in his life fully financially stable and has bought a house for his family; his baby son is doing well and his relationship with Barbara is good. And yet, as the villagers come to greet the new and excitingly famous resident, he realises being on shore just won’t cut it. When shortly after, orders to go to sea again arrive, Barbara realises her husband can never be fully happy on land and lets him go.

Like Dante’s Ulysses, Horatio is never quite satisfied with what he has; despite all the good things in life that have come to him, he is still dissatisfied, chasing naval glory.

Dante’s hell being divided into circles according to the nature and resulting severity of the crime, Ulysses’ place is in the 9th circle, reserved for fraudsters. His particular crime: devising the Trojan horse and giving false counsel by proposing it. Horatio’s well-beloved “we’ll disguise as Frenchmen”-tactic kind of sounds similar…

What sticks with most people who’ve read Dante is Ulysses’ description of his last voyage, the stirring lines as he leaves Ithaka for the last time and in his quest to sail past the boundaries of the known world, is swallowed by the sea, waves crashing over his head.

Ulysses might be the first (or one of the first) tales of seafaring adventure; as such, it’s only natural (western) authors have time and again taken inspiration from it for their own works of fiction. What I find particularly interesting is that C. S. Forester stresses the flawed Ulysses of Dante in his main character; which is ultimately probably why so many people enjoy the Hornblower-series, both the books and the TV-adaptions; Horatio, despite his daring, intelligence, knack for strategy and huge success as a naval officer, is not a shiny, perfect hero, he’s as human in his ways as everybody else (except of course that I have never in my life disguised my non-existent ship as a French vessel, but then I don’t know about you- hey, whatever floats your boat!).

Hope you enjoyed this rambl-y read! Feel free to add to it, and share your own Hornblower-based theories (I'm curious). :)

[im-just-a-random-fandom-girl]

trying to articulate my frustrations with Marvel’s treatment of female characters and characters of color

Hi, hello, hola, bonjour. I've been having a lot of thoughts about Marvel’s lack of diversity and of how they treat minority characters, so I'm taking a page out of Luisa’s (@its-tortle) book and just making a long, rambley post to get it all out.

Please bear with me while I try to encapsulate all of my frustration within the limitations of English language.

(ALSO, I'm white. I’m Spanish-American, but I do not have the ability to speak for fans of color and the other grievances they have. This post is just a combination of my own thoughts and what I've heard other people say on Tumblr, in YouTube videos, in articles etc.)

Now that we've had over week to collect ourselves after the WandaVision finale, because it was such a tearjerker and the end of a true masterpiece of a show, we really need to talk about how Marvel treats their their characters of color and female characters. I'll specifically be looking at Sam Wilson, Natasha Romanoff, and Monica Rambeau.

Let's start with Sam.

Until Monica Rambeau became Photon just a few weeks ago in WandaVision, Sam was THE ONLY Black superhero in the MCU.

He first appeared in Captain America: The Winter Soldier 7 years ago in 2014, and he's been in 4 movies since then (not counting the post-credits of Ant-Man).

Let's see what we know about Sam in the MCU:

He was a pararescue airman in the U.S. Airforce

His wing-man, Riley, died in combat, prompting him to leave active duty

He works at the VA to help other veterans adjust to civilian life

That's it. This is all we know about his backstory, separate from Captain America. However, the MCU decided to include these parts of his backstory, (and exclude others) because they make him a better supporting character to Steve.

Sam's a vet - so is Steve. They have the same, early-morning run routine that alludes to strict military training. Steve is still new to the future and hardly knows or approaches anyone, but Sam is wearing his VA sweatshirt, so there's some sense of connection, one that is furthered when they talk about their beds being too soft. Sam is someone who can understand him, aside from being a super soldier.

Riley, Sam's wingman, died in combat - Hmm, haven't heard that one befo - oh, wait. *Bucky waves from the abyss of the Alps*. Yeah.

I'm not saying that these connections are bad, in fact, I think the opposite. In terms of storyline, these connections are incredibly important for their friendship. Steve is lost and alone in the future. No one he knows cares about him for any reason other than the fact that he's a super soldier, nor can he relate to any of those people on any level. Sam just fits. He's funny and kind and although they are 60 years apart in age, he can, to some extent, understand what Steve is going through in a way they no one else can.

But for the last 7 years in the MCU, all he's been is Steve's supportive friend.

Almost immediately after meeting Steve, Sam is dragged into an end-of-the-world battle. He readily agrees to put his life on the line to fight by Captain America's side. After SHIELD falls, Sam gives up his life for 2 years to help Steve find Bucky. When they find him, Sam, without a second thought, becomes an international fugitive to protect Bucky and Steve.

I mean, he practically says that he lives in Steve's shadow himself: 

"Don't look at me. I do what he does, just slower."

Who does all this? Seriously? Sam is also a recovering vet. He, in theory, has a life, a family, a job, his own mental well-being to consider, but he immediately gives it all up to help Captain America, to follow in his shadow, to be his back-up and support in every battle. Marvel wrote him as a 2D character that lacks his own identity and agency.

Sam deserves his own storyline; he deserves to exist outside the orbit of Steve Rogers.

What Mackie has been able to do with the character is astounding. He took Sam off the page and truly brought him to life, turning him into a beloved character. I'm ecstatic that both Mackie and Sam finally (hopefully) get their time to shine in TFATWS, but it should have happened WAY sooner. Marvel has continuously overlooked Mackie, despite how much he brings to the movies and despite the significance of Sam as the only Black superhero. It's just so clear that they do not care about representation.

(And let's not start with the whole "Bucky should be Captain America" thing, thanks)

Next, let's talk about Natasha.

Nat has been in the MCU for 11 years, starting with Iron Man 2 in 2010. She was heavily featured in an additional 6 MCU movies (not including small cameos/post-credit sequences). She's one of the few female superheroes in the MCU, and the only one that's been there since the beginning. Nat was the only female superhero for 4 years until Gamora appeared in Guardians of the Galaxy.

Let's see what we know about Natasha's history:

She's a former KGB operative and assassin, trained in the Red Room project

When she was a part of the Red Room, she was sterilized

Clint Barton got her out of the Red Room and converted her to a SHIELD agent

THAT'S IT. The second point is actually nauseating because this is what she says to Banner when we learn about her infertility in Age of Ultron:

"They sterilize you. It’s efficient. One less thing to worry about, the one thing that might matter more than a mission. It makes everything easier — even killing. You still think you’re the only monster on the team?"

Like, actually, what the fuck? I remember watching this scene and having to rewind because I thought I mis-heard what she said. In truth, Natasha is probably referring to the terrible things she was forced to do as a KGB operative are what make her a "monster," but why in the world would they include this anecdote here?? It's just so distasteful and disgusting! It makes it seem like her infertility is what makes her a monster, perpetuating the misogynistic belief that the center of a woman's identity and purpose is to have children.

As Vox says in this article, the subject of Nat's infertility 

"rears its head sub-textually when Black Widow sacrifices herself for the Soul Stone. [...] It’s reasonable for Natasha to make the calculation that Clint’s kids deserve to have a dad when they come back to life after the Avengers complete their “time heist.” But because of that Ultron plot, there’s also an insidious implication that Natasha’s infertility renders Black Widow just a little bit more disposable than the rest of her teammates."

Furthermore, Nat's death in Endgame serves for nothing more than motivation for the other characters working in the time heist, WHICH ARE ALL MALE. Even then, the other characters talk about her death briefly (in a mostly unaffected manner), and by the end of the movie, she's been pretty much forgotten about,  completely overshadowed by Tony Stark.

I don't want to say that Nat shouldn't have died in Endgame. It caused me so much heartache and emotional pain, but I truly believe it was a great way to end her arc. CinemaWins on YouTube put it best:

"She needed to save her family, Clint included, finally wiping the red from her ledger. So much of her jouney in the MCU was trying to find her purpose, figure out which side she was on, and she finally feels like she's found it, just in time to die for it. 

"It's not wrong to feel cheated by her death, [but I think] she deserved this moment because of it's importance."

She says it in the movie: 

"I used to have nothing, and then I got this. This family. And I was better because of it."

Nat shouldn't have to die, but it's on her terms, and she is absolutely ready for it. Saving her chosen family... that is her purpose.

But altogether, over the course of the MCU, Natasha was cheated out of getting the storyline she deserved. Like Sam, she was relegated to the position of the supportive friend of Steve, but also of Bruce and Clint. For the audience, her identity is tied to this role that she plays. The identity and motivations she has independent from these other characters, her history, is skimmed over, and treated with immense disrespect.

It took 11 years, but it is thrilling that Scarlett Johansson finally gets to be the start of her own Marvel movie. There is no way that Black Widow will be able to completely make up for her and Natasha's mistreatment by the MCU, but I hope it will at least bring us some closure and allow us to have a better understanding of Nat's history and who she is away from the other Avengers.

Last, but certainly not least (despite what WandaVision may have you believe) is Monica Rambeau.

I spoke about this last week after posting about this review of the show, but it bears repeating.

Monica is a new character. You'd hope that, after 11 years of extremely limited diversity in the MCU, much to the dismay of fans worldwide, and after recognizing this and creating a movie with a cast like The Eternals, Marvel would try to get their shit together across the board.

Nope!

Monica was seriously the token diversity character of the show. It seemed like they would give her more depth after the episode during which they flashed back to the her during and after the snap, losing her mother, and seeing a little bit of what she's done as an adult since Captain Marvel, but that ended up being the most we got.

But why? Monica literally became a SUPERHERO. She became Photon! She deserved a much greater role in the show, especially in the finale, where she instead had maybe 5 lines and just stopped some bullets for about 30 seconds.

As the review I linked says, 

“There are so many black writers, fans, and critics noting how Monica got relegated to a complete lack relegated to meaningless best friend protector lacking in their own self agency and story except for making a shoehorned comparison of grief.”

Marvel made the same, bull-headed mistake that they made with Sam with Monica!

Let's do this again. Monica was snapped away for 5 years, and when she was snapped back, she learned that her mother had died. Losing someone you love and having the whole process of mourning and pain be complicated by the snap? What an interesti- oh wait. *Vision phases his head through the wall with a smile*

The only reason we got this backstory was because it made her a more sympathetic character towards Wanda. Her understanding of what Wanda is going through allows her to be the catalyst in the creation of the ideological fork in the road between herself, Darcy and Woo, who see Wanda as a victim of grief and loss, and Hayward and the rest of SHIELD, who see her as a dangerous threat.

How do you make the same, major mistake that you've been making for the past 7 years again? Guess what? You don't! Maybe it's not intentional, but Marvel, again, clearly doesn’t care enough about their characters of color to consider the roles they relegate them to in the MCU, realize what they've been doing is harmful, and then change it.

Hopefully, they will not continue to treat Monica this way and will remedy this in the next Captain Marvel.

In conclusion: MARVEL GAVE A FUCKING ROBOT AN ACTUAL ORIGIN STORY, A RELATIONSHIP AND MORE INDEPENDENCE THAN ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS.

But in all seriousness, Marvel needs to be help accountable for how they treat women and their characters of color in the MCU. I just looked at 3, but you could also make a similar argument about Rhodey, Hope van Dyne and Valkyrie, as well as Jane Foster, MJ, and Ned, although they are supporting characters and not superheroes. And I'm sure there are many others. Marvel (and Disney!!) has had an awful track-record, and change is long overdue.

[harry-styles-sunflower]

Meeting You In The Hallway

a/n: HII lovely people! I hope you are all doing well today! This is part 1 of Meeting you in the Hallway. Part 1 is a bit short because it’s an introductory chapter, but I do plan on making the chapters as I go. I’ll put specific warnings in the beginning of each chapter.

What it is: You move into the apartment across the hall from Harry and you begin a friendship which you both want more from but can’t communicate that want. AU. 

Word Count: 1.9k

Pls reblog if you like it 😊

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You had finally raised enough money to buy your own apartment right around the corner of Central Park. You were a registered nurse in the city, but the city was nothing new to you. You had grown just outside of the city your whole life. You worked on 5th Ave so buying an apartment near Central Park was just perfect. Today, Sunday, was move in day and you didn’t come with a lot. Few boxes and basic furniture. Your apartment was on the top floor which gave you the most beautiful view of Manhattan. There was only one other apartment across from yours because you were all the way at the end.

You got to your apartment around noon and began bringing up all your boxes after your mom and dad helped you bring up your bed, couch, and dining room table. You’d get the rest with time. With the view you had you weren’t in a rush to buy a tv. Just a good book and a chair was fine. “Have you met your neighbor yet?” Your mom asked. “No, not yet. Hopefully soon. The seller said he was nice. Not too loud” you shrugged. You figured that maybe it was just a bachelor business man who worked a lot, like you.

Once you finished bringing everything up to your apartment, you said goodbye to your parent’s downstairs. You thanked them as they gifted you a frame of you with them on your graduation day. Their smiles full of pride. “Alright bye, we love you. Stay safe okay? Call us if anything.” Your mom said trying to not get teary eyed. You stayed home for college so this was the first time she felt like she was letting her baby go. “Okay mom, I love you too.” You waved bye to them and then walked back inside saying thank you to the doorman. You’d learn his name another day. Right now, your back and feet were just killing you. You took the elevator upstairs, playing with your new keychain. Apartment 17G. You looked at it happily as you walked back to your apartment. Enchanted by your key you didn’t even notice the man right in front of you until you bumped into his hard chest.

“Ow, sorry. My bad” you looked up and saw two pools of green. Slightly intimidated you looked away and stepped back. His eyes remained on you, studying you, wondering if he’s ever seen you around.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it. 'Scuse me” And just as fast as you bumped into him, he was gone. You looked behind you as he left. Noticing just how tall he was. With a sigh you continued your walk until the end of the hallway. You opened your apartment door and closed it behind you. You leaned against the door and let out a sigh. Green eyes on your mind. You heard the door across your apartment open and then close. You grunted; upset you missed your neighbor. Just a few seconds too late. You were hoping to get along with them at the very least.

That night you decided to order in pizza and drink some wine on your balcony. Basking in the last few nights of summer. You looked over to your right and noticed your neighbor’s balcony. It was simple, two chairs and small table.  A few plants near the edge. “Green thumb” you said to yourself sipping your wine.

Eventually it become dark and you grew tired. You cleaned up your kitchen and organized your cupboards just enough to get rid of one box. On your way to shower and call it a night you remembered to check your door. "Can never be too safe" you thought to yourself. As you checked your door, you felt your feet crumple some paper. Confused, you bent over and picked it up.

“Hi, um I think you moved in today. If not, you’ll just see this whenever you do, I guess. Well just wanted to say welcome to the building. Guy across the hall, 17H.”

With a small smile you brushed your fingertips over the handwriting. This was a sweet gesture and your apartment began feeling even more like home. A possible friend you thought. No, you hoped. As you laid in bed about to sleep, you thought of your neighbor in 17H. Was there a reason why the H was underlined? But as you closed your eyes you remembered those two pools of green.

 ~~~

 The next morning was a Monday. You were off that night so you woke up and decided to unpack as much as you can.

During breakfast, you saw the note your neighbor had left you. You flipped it over and wrote, "I'm moved in, thank you for the warm welcoming." You debated whether or not to ask if you should grab a drink together. Instead you settled on, "Meet you soon. Girl across the hall, 17G." After you finished your breakfast you quietly opened your door, setting a stopper so you didn’t get locked out, and slid the note under 17H's door. You hurried inside. You were still only in your pjs and a robe, hair a mess.

When Harry woke up on Monday morning, he got up and put on a tank top, shorts, and sneakers. He tried to go for an early run, before there were too many people in the vast Central Park. He liked the feeling of morning air. As he was about to leave, he thought about the girl he bumped into yesterday. He was so focused on this new song he was writing he didn’t even notice her. She was also pretty short. He had a small gig the next night at a small café. He was getting less nervous of performing in front of people but he got nervous when they were his own songs. He cleared his head and left for his jog. On his way back, he stopped by a bakery and bought some fresh bread and a few pastries. The small bakery reminded him of his old job from when he was a teenager.

When he got home, he barely noticed the paper on the floor. When he flipped it over, he half smiled at the bubble handwriting. So different than his. "Meet you soon" he repeated to himself. He debated going right over and knocking, but then he remembered he was a sweaty mess and didn’t want that to be your first impression of him.

~~~

By lunch time you decided you needed to buy groceries. No more eating out. You grabbed your bag and a light sweater. The day had gotten a little bit cloudy. You tucked a mini umbrella just in case. That’s the kind of person you were. You were cautious, always prepared, because you know... Just in case.

You walked downstairs and introduced yourself to the doorman. You found out his name was Pat and he was retiring next year. He was a sweet old man. You walked to Whole Foods to buy your essentials for now and picked up some soup. You'll have something to keep you warm if it rains. You put the soup into your cart and debated whether or not if you should buy ice cream. You thought oh fuck it, you were getting your period soon anyway. You'd need it. You bought chocolate, vanilla, and butter pecan. You decided it was time to go before you bought the whole store. You approached aisle 5 and leaped for joy inside because there was no line, the customer just leaving. The customer looked familiar though, his back looked familiar. A light bulb lit in your head, that was the guy from yesterday. The one you bumped into. For New York City to be so big, it was interesting how you saw him again.

You paid for your groceries and made small talk with the cashier about the weather. Both of you a little upset that it was one of the last few days of summer and it was cloudy. You walked back to your building a little faster as the clouds got darker. Once you made it inside and up to your apartment door you put your bags down and reached inside your purse for your keys. As you were about to put your key in the keyhole, you heard an enthusiastic "Hi!". Jumping you dropped your keys.

"Oh, shit sorry, didn’t mean to scare you" he said as you both reached for your keys causing you to both bump heads.

"Ow!" you both said and laughed a little. You both fell back onto the floor. Still laughing lightly. When you finally focused on who the man was you realized who it was. "Oh my god, it’s you. From yesterday" you said. He looked at you with eyes squinted. "Oh yeah. You." he looked you up and down. "So, you're the girl from 17G" he said as he pointed to your apartment door. "17H?" you asked. "Yep, H was underlined because my name is Harry" he said. You couldn’t help but like the way he said his name. His accent almost stretching his name out. "Oh. Makes sense. I'm y/n." He brushed his hands on his thighs and reached over his hand for you to shake. "Nice to meet you, y/n". You shook his hand. "You too, Harry."

He kept ahold of your hand. You realized how soft his hands were. He slowly stood up while still holding your hand and gently pulled you up.

"Thanks" you said wiping your hands on your jeans. You had trouble looking him in the eye. The green was so beautiful you were scared you'd get lost. His sharp facial features reminded you of one of your favorite characters, Stefan Salvatore for some reason.

"Do you need help? Err carrying that stuff inside?" He asked pulling you away from your thoughts.

"Oh um, no actually. Thank you but I'm okay." you said and turned to open your door.

"Okay. Um well, if you ever need anything."

"Yeah thanks. Appreciate that" you smiled up at him. Looking him in the eye for a second. He was so tall.

"Yeah of course. Just knock" he said and as soon as he said it, he realized how dumb he sounded. Why did he feel so nervous?

"I think that may be my only option. No doorbell" you said teasing him a little.

"Yeah" he said looking down, feeling stupid.

To cheer him up you said, "hey, if you need me, knock three times. That could be our own “homemade doorbell”."

He looked up with a bigger smile and for the first time you noticed his dimples. "Yeah okay, that sounds good. Three times." He nodded.

"Alright. Well, goodnight harry"

"Goodnight y/n"

As you both closed your doors behind you, you both replayed how you each said each other’s name. The way your name sounded with his English accent and the way his name sounded with your American accent.

 ~~~

Part 2 is now up!

[supernaturalnovelsandmore]

Supernatural Novel: Heart of the Dragon

Welcome to my not-quite review of the fourth Supernatural novel, Heart of the Dragon.

Author: Keith R.A. DeCandido

Timeline: Set after Episode 5.08 Changing Channels

Location: San Francisco, California (Chinatown)

Synopsis: An old foe has come back to terrorize San Francisco, but what is the connection between the Campbells, John Winchester and Sam and Dean? Read to find out!

Warning: Spoilers abound!

Oh, where do I start? Heart of the Dragon has a very different feel to it, one that I'm not entirely on board with. Basically, it's a flashback book that spends the first third on Samuel, Deanna, and Mary Campbell, the second third on John Winchester and the last quarter on Sam and Dean. In fact, out of 28 chapters, Sam and Dean were only featured in about 7 of them. It leaves the book feeling hollow and me, a little meh. But, there are some additional insights into the Winchester family history which I'll try and parse out.

One more thought, I'm glad this is the last book from this particular author. Once again he has utilized a culture/race to tell the story, and not well. When the story is in 1969, he utilizes the world Orientals to explain Japanese and Chinese characters. He might have been trying to use the wording of the day, and that's fine if it's in dialogue, but to use it as a descriptor is problematic, at best. He also plays up multiple stereotypes from the Chinese mob to the Japanese Samurai. I'm hoping this book is the Route 666 of the novels and that they can only get better.

I decided to sort my thoughts within the different timelines, so here we go:

1969: Samuel, Deanna, and Mary Campbell

We open with the family hunting a vampire and Samuel using 15-year-old Mary as willing bait. It turns out to be a nest, but they quickly dispatch them without casualties. Deanna appears to be quite the hunter in her own right (her skill with a Claymore outstanding.) Within this hunt we learn a few things about Mary and the Campbell family.

The Campbells have a strong link to their Scottish heritage.

Samuel hates Christmas

Mary is willful, annoying, and disrespectful, but an amazing hunter who was raised practically from birth to how to hunt and defend herself. (Sam parallels, perhaps?)

Mary learned about monsters at 11 when she saw her parents dispatch an avenging spirit.

Samuel hates the idea of Mary hanging out with any boys, though she has a particular fondness for a John Winchester who works as a local auto-mechanic.

Samuel owns a dry-cleaning business and Deanna substitute teaches to help maintain some kind of income.

Mary often wondered about having a normal life, but would dismiss it knowing she couldn't have that and still know monsters are out there. (Seems like a combination of Sam and Dean here).

Other than that, the hunt they go to San Francisco for seems fairly perfunctory. They do a bunch of research, talk to a few locals. Samuel dons his FBI agent schtick, they locate the source of the problem, and quickly dispatch it. There's nothing too dramatic there, just a lot of backstory.

1989: John Winchester

There's a bit more insight here because now we're getting some insight into Dad John, as well as 6-year-old Sam and 10-year-old Dean. I'll touch on a few points.

Leaving his boys with others: We open with John returning to his kids whom he left at Bobby's while he took care of a hunt. He left them long enough that they were enrolled in school and he planned on keeping them there for the fall semester. He felt bad about using Bobby's hospitality for so long.

Training his boys: "John knew his boys would need to be able to defend themselves against whatever was out there - he'd already started that process with Dean... Dean was a crack shot with John's M1911 and could load the shotgun with iron rounds and fire them off in one smooth motion. Eventually he'd need to train Sammy too. But not yet."

Loving his boys: When he arrives at Bobby's, Sam runs out to meet him and wraps his arms around John's legs as he walks in. Sam also tattles on Dean for eating the last donut.

There are also some fun moments between young Sam and Dean, mostly sibling bickering.

Dean and Sam enjoy playing hide-and-seek among Bobby's car on the weekends and Sam enjoys going to school during the week. Dean, not so much.

Sam proudly shares that he's doing 3rd grade work in 1st grade and then teases Dean about also doing 3rd grade work even though he's in 5th grade (Dean then sticks his tongue out at Sam and says "Screw you, Sammy.") At this John calls them out and both boys are chagrined.

Later on, when John calls Bobby for more information, we find Dean holding a pen out of Sam's reach and teasing him with it.

Of course, that call means we also get this heartbreaking line moment from Dean, who wants to talk to his Dad, but can't before John hangs up. Bobby tries to explain: "'Sorry, Dean, he, uh, was on his way out the door. But he told me to tell you both to behave yourselves and do what I tell you. And that he loves you.' Dean: 'Did he really say that?'"

When Bobby presents the next case, John is torn between wanting to spend time with his kids, but going after something that could cause people to burn spontaneously, in the hopes that it might lead him to the demon who killed Mary. I think the book did a good job of capturing John's struggle between revenge and caring for his boys. He's not the abusive, neglectful father people tend to think he is. He's someone struggling to make things right.

"John didn't answer at first. Instead, he looked over at Sam and Dean in the dining room, playing that oh-so-common game of 'I touched you last.'

Christmas was coming up and he did want to spend it with the boys..."

Finally, when John returns and Bobby and the boys meet him at the airport, we get some additional insight into 10-year-old Dean's thoughts regarding his father and his place in the family.

"Waiting there in the airport, he understood how important it was for Dad to be away so much - more than Sammy ever could. Sammy hadn't really known Mom, since he was just a baby when she died. Dean couldn't imagine that his baby brother would ever truly understand what had happened to her.

If he was honest with himself, he didn't really understand it, either. There were some days - though he'd never admit this to anyone - when he couldn't even remember what she looked like.

Some kind of monster had killed Mom, and Dad wouldn't rest until he found that monster and killed it. Along the way, he'd kill any other monsters who tried to kill other people's moms...

Dad still fought the bad guys and saved people, but he also cared about his sons.

Because Dad was a hero, and that was what heroes did."

2009 - Sam and Dean

There isn't much to write about here, because they weren't featured in the book. I will just add a couple of notes.

Dean recognizes Samuel Campbell in a newspaper article about the killings. (He'd already been sent back in time and met his grandfather).

It's seems reasonable to Sam that Mary and her parents were hunters. What freaks him out is that he and Dean were named after their grandparents and John never told them.

Sam's been a nerd about the American Interstate system since he was 10 and loved poring over maps.

Sam feels more guilt from trusting Ruby over Dean than starting the apocalypse.

Final notes:

This book introduces Castiel who brings the case to the boys attention. We get the same stuff in here that you see on screen, he has issues with personal space, comes and goes at will, and Bobby's still mad at him for not being able to heal his paralysis. He's only there for a few pages, and then disappears again.

Bobby gets a bit more screen time, as a pseudo-dad to young Sam and Dean, and later as their resource when researching the case and it's history. Favorite quote: "As he went into the fridge for butter to spread onto the pan, Bobby decided it was the entire Winchester family that was making him bald."

We briefly get Hurt Sam who is punched repeatedly by a hulk of a man, but with no lasting consequences and very little caring Dean.

We find out at the end that Zachariah orchestrated the whole thing by planting the idea in Castiel's head.

So, like I said at the beginning, not my favorite, but hopefully I was able to share some of the more interesting parts. Read at your own risk!

[brooklynboysficrecs]

Ria’s Top 10 Shrinkyclinks Fics

I will admit this isn’t my preferred AU -- I won’t immediately jump on a fic just because it’s pre-serum Steve and WS Bucky. I gotta like the plot, or the premise, or be really, really intrigued by the tags, but to be fair, that’s how I am with everything that isn’t Modern Bucky and Cap Steve, so. That being said, I have read some truly fantastic shrinkyclinks stories, and I do very much love Steven “Fight Me” Rogers at his scrappiest. And these fics also tend to feature protective!Bucky which is another personal favorite of mine. Oh, but also: shrinkyclinks generally refers to pre-serum Steve with actual Winter Soldier Bucky, but a lot of people use the tag just to imply body types, and when they say WS Bucky they mean he’s all huge and muscled and sometimes has a metal arm, though that isn’t required. That’s the definition I’m going with as well, so hopefully nothing’s confusing!

1. If Wishing Made It So by leveragehunters. Before I get into anything about the actual fic, let me say this: leveragehunters is probably my favorite stucky writer. Like, hands-down, I read almost everything they write, and they’re big into fantasy stories, which is a great bonus for me personally. So, so, so many good shrinkyclinks fics by them (Even Underneath the Waves, a mermaid AU that features equal amounts of pre- and post-serum Steve, and A-mage-ing Grace with mage Steve are two of my other favorites, and they would’ve been on the list, but I try not to put more than one story per author, ya know? And IWMIS kinda wins out above the others for me, so). This story features jinn!Bucky who finds himself in the baffled hands of Steve Rogers, who is perfectly prickly and stubborn and good. Bucky’s got a terrible past with humans in general (and Hydra in particular, what a shocker) that he and Steve have to overcome as their relationship progresses, but that progression is frankly beautiful to watch unfold. I come back to this story time and time again because of how much I love these versions of Steve and Bucky getting to know one another, learning to trust each other, supporting each other through the worst the world has to throw at them. Plus, there’s a few more stories in this series if you get as hooked as I am, which is always great!!

2. Roots Have Grown by AustinB. I remember reading this and just... completely feeling what Bucky is going through. Not everything -- he’s an agoraphobic veteran, and I can’t relate to either of those, really, but he’s so... awkward about his crush on Steve. And that’s -- that’s relatable to me. But it’s precious, really, how he tries to help Steve even though he’s afraid to actually meet him initially; he becomes Steve’s sort of... anonymous benefactor? Guardian angel with money? Like, it’s definitely a sugar daddy type deal originally but I doubt Bucky would describe it like that. I don’t know, it’s cute, though, and I loved seeing Bucky opening up to Steve as they became closer. 

3. Through The Woods by VenusMonstrosa, alby_mangroves. Okay, hear me out: werewolves. I fucking love werewolves in fiction; I mean, not really the romance novels you’ll see in the grocery store, but. Werewolf mythology is one of my favorite things, so seeing it in fanfiction almost always manages to lure me in. And I was so not disappointed with this story! Steve’s living alone in a cabin in the woods, which of course sounds like the opening to a horror movie, but here it leads to love. Werewolf Bucky is both charming and terrifying, to a degree, he’s a wolf, but he and Steve are fantastic together. This is another story that goes in on the trust aspect of their relationship and I for one am a big fan of that. There’s some violence, minor character death and the like, but it’s definitely not undeserved so. If you can handle that (and the sex, because there is sex in this) then I highly recommend this one!

4. The Joy of Little Things by obsessivereader, Sealcat. And so we move from werewolves to dragons. Yup. Dragons. Another of my beloved mythical creatures that I obsessed over when I was kid. Bucky’s capable of shifting into a human in this, but primarily he’s a big ol’ dragon that surprisingly doesn’t want to eat the scrawny sacrifice from the local village. Steve ends up working for Bucky, instead, and from there hilarity ensues. Steve’s obviously wary of Bucky, but Bucky isn’t at all what he’d been expecting, and they grow closer the longer Steve’s staying in Bucky’s caves. There are a couple of stories with Dragon!Bucky, but this is my personal favorite; it’s cute and heart-warming and, well. I just really like it. 

5. I Just Want to Love You in My Own Language by agetwellcard, inediblesushi. So this one has Cap!Bucky (Bucky!Cap?) but again, sometimes it’s more about how Bucky looks rather than his role as the Winter Soldier. Anyway, I remember my biggest take away from this story was how adorable Bucky was in his quest to win the affections of sassy Nurse Steve, who patches him up after missions and is probably playing hard to get. Bucky uses terrible pick-up lines, absolutely awful, and he is completely unashamed of that fact. Which is, as I said, adorable. Steve, initially, does not agree with my assessment, but he gets there eventually. After some requisite drama, of course.

6. Tint & Shade by forestofbabel. Oh, god, this one hurt me, I remember that pretty clearly. Bucky is the Winter Soldier in this, and Steve is a 21st century art therapist who just so happens to resemble his late grandfather, Captain Joseph Rogers, who fought in -- you guessed it -- WWII. Like I said in the intro, if I really like the premise of something I’ll usually read it regardless of the configuration of pre-/post-serum Steve and pre-serum/WS Bucky, and this was definitely one of the fics I got into for that reason. Having actual WS Bucky interact with a modern pre-serum Steve is always interesting, given how much they don’t have in common, generally (there isn’t even really the veteran status that modern Bucky sometimes has in fics), and it’s a journey to see how and why they connect. Having Steve resemble his WWII era grandfather caught my attention, and the fic itself made me grateful that I decided to go for it in the first place. This is another one where is trust is key to their relationship, considering the mental/emotional state Bucky is in at the beginning. Very good story overall!

7. Fourth Floor by dirtybinary, mithborien, picoalloe. So dirtybinary has written some amazing stucky fics, which is why I was so excited when I saw this being posted initially (a few years ago, but still). There’s magic! Mystery! Suspense! Some NatSharon! Looking this over, I’m wondering if I should’ve saved it for the Urban Fantasy list I wanna do (and If Wishing Made It So, if I’m being honest) but I do like it for the shrinkyclinks list. The writing is great, the characterization of Steve and Bucky is great, and like, they live in what is essentially a magical apartment complex, so what’s better than that? 

8. my heart tells me you are lonely, too by FanGirling. Alright, so I read this one as it was being published, and the slow burn about killed me. You know, in a good way, though. Bucky lives in Steve and his mother’s apartment building, trying to figure out where to go with his life now that he’s broken free of Hydra and gotten his autonomy back. He’s obviously wary, skittish, but he takes a liking to Sarah Rogers when she reaches out to befriend him, surprised anyone wants to be near him let alone take the time to get to know him. Steve... is not so easily sold on Bucky. And I’m not gonna spoil anything here, but the shit these two go through is intense, and I cried a lot during this fic, sometimes out of frustration because they’re both ridiculous about their feelings (of course Bucky’s fears are valid, the man has been through literal hell, but also I was internally screaming a little as Bucky continually talked himself out of getting closer to Steve.) I wanted to wrap the both of them in about thirty blankets for pretty much the entire length of the fic. God. They’re just -- they’re so incredibly sweet in this one, once they work past their issues (Bucky and Steve are both more than a little messed up from their respective circumstances, but they make it work). Mind the tags on this one, also, especially because there is a chapter that deals with attempted sexual assault against Steve (obviously not with Bucky!), but Bucky handles the situation before anything truly nasty happens, that I can promise. 

9. Local Raccoon Befriends Angry Chihuahua by charlesdk. This is yet another author I really love; they have a fantastic farmer!Steve/Modern!WS!Bucky story that I love to bits, as well as other great fics. But anyway, this one. The title sold me the second I saw it, honestly, I can’t even pretend that wasn’t the deciding factor in me reading this. I don’t think I can really do any better than the summary in explaining why I recommend it; feisty tiny Steve and lovestruck grumpy Bucky are a winning combination in my book. This one does feature the boys dealing with homophobia and ableism, though I can’t recall how severe it is. So I’d just mind the tags, and if you’re alright with them, thoroughly enjoy this story. 

10. The Road to Hell is Paved with Tony’s Good Intentions by pinlilli. Bucky as a mail-order Russian bride. That’s the detail that pretty much demanded I click on this fic, and oh my god, it was even better than I ever could’ve expected. Tony, in a bid to help Steve get over his awful ex-boyfriend (fuck Brock Rumlow in every universe, honestly), literally orders him a husband -- in the form of beefy James Barnes, who is a fucking gem and I will not hear one bad word against him. He does chores, it’s lovely and adorable, and you will definitely fall just as hard as Steve does. There’s some canon-typical violence in this one that relates to James’ past, but nothing super graphic as far as I remember. Again, Rumlow is a dick and should be treated as such, but he’s hardly the most important part of this fic and I urge everyone to take a look at it if they’re as intrigued by Bucky being a mail-order husband as I was. 

[the-big-nope]

While I’m certainly nowhere near ready for the story of the Mighty Nein to come to an end, I am also a D&D nerd and there’s a new sourcebook coming out soon with a bunch of new subclasses in it. By the time Campaign 3 of Critical Role gets underway, that book will be published, leaving a wealth of new options for the cast members to choose from, so why not entertain myself by making barely justified predictions of what the cast is most likely to pick for their next characters! (Disclaimer: Some of the new subclasses have been confirmed and some haven’t, so for a few of these picks I’m just going off of what I think is going to be in the book).

Travis

Cleric (Tempest Domain): Travis has been playing lowkey EMT since campaign one, and Laura’s already confirmed that Travis almost went cleric for campaign two. Between Grog with his barb-boosted movement speed to get around the battlefield so he could shove healing potions into his squishier teammates, and Fjord multiclassing into paladin and lovingly tapping his friends with single hit points to get them back up, it would be delightful to see him fully jump in and embrace the classical healer role. Of course, this is Travis, so I don’t see him picking a cleric domain that doesn’t allow for at least some whoop-ass, and Tempest Domain brings plenty of it. You get proficiency with all armor and weapons, Divine Strike at level 8 for boosted melee damage, you can use a reaction to inflict lightning or thunder damage against any enemy within melee range that’s hit you. And if you climb up high enough in levels, you gain a flying speed equal to your walking one whenever you’re outdoors. Pretty nifty, and makes for a fitting subclass for a guy that’s voiced Thor on multiple occasions.

Blood Hunter (Order of the Lycan): I mean, come on. The only reason it isn’t number one is that it was already widely assumed this would be Travis’s pick for campaign two, and I wouldn’t put it past him to surprise us again. But still, we saw him get a taste in Liam’s one shot and he was clearly having the time of his life. Besides, we lost Molly far too early to really see the blood hunter’s potential come to life; it would be damn cool to see someone else take a crack at it, and Travis is enough of a D&D gambler to not shy away from the class’s riskier features.

Artificer (Armorer): Speaking of Marvel connections, if Travis doesn’t lean toward fantasy Thor, then fantasy Iron Man might catch his attention instead. Artificer is an official class now, and since it’ll be reprinted in TCoE by the time campaign 3 gets underway, it’ll be a lot more visible as an option. The Armorer sits in almost a perfect middle ground of what Travis has done before: tanky and a frontliner, but also still has spells and tricks to help the party. Plus, you get a badass suit of power armor out of it. What’s not to like?

Marisha

Bard (College of Creation): After Hazel Copperpot, we all saw the pure magic that was Marisha Ray playing a bard. I know she implied that Hazel was supposed to be her campaign two backup character, but I hope this doesn’t discourage her from making another one. There are quite a few bard subclasses, a number of which I could see her being drawn to (Lore, Glamour, maybe even Swords), but I really vibe with the idea of Creation. I can’t exactly say why; maybe the idea of the ‘dancing object’ feature in Marisha’s hands is very funny to me (remember Keyleth’s adorable “Be Our Guest” moment? That, but this time it’s a walking wardrobe beating the shit out of the enemy).

Paladin (Oath of Vengeance/Conquest): As of yet, no one on Critical Role has ever played a paladin from the start, only multiclassed later down the line. I think this would be a cool departure for Marisha. Both campaigns she’s played characters that were either suspicious or at least indifferent to faith and the gods. Paladins are typically associated with deities, but they’re not tied quite so closely to them as clerics are. It would be fascinating to see what she did with it. As for the subclass, I just think Marisha’s earned her turn on the Goth Character Carousel, and while I know Conquest paladin is very unlikely given its moral grayness by default which might cause undue conflict and that Vengeance is a much more likely and acceptable pick, I just think it would be a sexy character choice. 

Wizard (Bladesinger/Graviturgist): This is a much more pie-in-the-sky, wishful thinking pick on my end, but not impossible imo. Marisha has experience with heavy spellcasting already, so she probably wouldn’t shy away from a wizard, but like Travis I suspect she likes a bit of oomph to her characters, and probably wouldn’t play as support heavy as Caleb does. To that end, Bladesingers get a bit more survivability and some modicum of physical prowess alongside their spells, while Graviturgists are definitely on the more aggressive side of the spectrum for wizard subclasses, with unique dunamancy spells to boot. I’m not sure how restrictive Matt would be about Xhorhassian characters in the next campaign if it takes place on another continent, but hey, you never know. Plus, she picked one of Matt’s homebrew subclasses for the current campaign; it would be cute if it happened again.

Liam

Druid (Circle of the Shepherd): At some point before Critical Role comes to end (hopefully far in the future), I know Liam’s gonna play a druid, I can feel it in my bones. He's too big of a Kiki fan not to. However, while Circle of the Moon might feel obvious given the potential for homage and how much he likes turning into animals, I feel like he might regard it as getting too close to old territory (also, I don’t know if Circle of the Moon is like an exclusive thing to the Ashari tribes, and if it is that would be rather restrictive for building a backstory). If that’s the case, Circle of the Shepherd feels like the next best bet. It has some great support options via the totems you can put down, and rather than becoming badass animals, you instead just get really good at summoning a fuck ton of them. It’s like Frumpkin, but ten of him. And they’re bears. (Honorable mention: If Circle of the Moon would feel like treading old territory then I’m certain Circle of Wildfire would too, but I’d bet my dice collection it would at least be tempting). 

Cleric (Unity Domain): Listen. The pure sap potential that would be at Mr. O’Brien’s fingertips with this subclass is incredible. The domain all about strengthening and protecting the bonds between friends and loved ones?? The domain with the Channel Divinity that can spread damage taken by one creature across the party however the cleric chooses to distribute it to lessen the blow to the individual??? The domain that used to be called the Love Domain???? I’m practically gagging on the soft moments and unspoken devotion conveyed through spellcasting already.

Fighter (Rune Knight/Psi Knight): Liam has yet to play a tank in a long-term campaign, and while I’m more enamored with the potential of the above classes, it would be novel to see him play a character with an actually respectable amount of hit points. However, I feel like if he was gonna commit to a straight frontliner, he’d probably want something a little more unique than a Champion or Battle Master (especially since he’s played those already for one-shots). Rune Knight has some fun options and built-in flavor, and with Psi Knight you can basically be a Jedi. Not bad options at all if you ask me.

Taliesin

Warlock (Fiend): Yeah, it might be expected, or Percy might have been too close to warlock anyway to feel like there’s new ground to cover, but hear me out. Both Percy (who, let’s face it, was a warlock multiclass in all but the actual mechanics) and Fjord were the classic reluctants. They got in over their heads without really knowing what was going on, and once they did they wanted out, cutting ties with their patrons and getting clear with only the scars remaining. I want to see Taliesin commit to a warlock in a way I imagine only he could manage to pull off. How fun would that balancing act be, to have a character that has no intentions of breaking their pact, who’s here for the powers, and is willing to work that delicate balancing act between keeping what he’s got and not letting his contract holder get the better of him? Give it to meeeeee.

Sorcerer (Psionic Soul): Psionic Soul has a bit of that eldritch flavor that vibes with Taliesin so much, with the added interest of introducing a brand new feature to 5E, the Psi Die (with this subclass, using them can do things like letting a sorcerer learn a spell they don’t already know for a few hours, allow you to cast spells without needing verbal, somatic, or material components, and can give you telepathy). Taking both Percy and Molly into account, it seems Tal likes to lean into those unique additional mechanics, and while Psi Die aren’t as risk-heavy as Gunslinger or Bloodhunter, they do add a layer of variability and unpredictability that seems to match his style.

Rogue (Swashbuckler): We only got a little bit of time with Molly, and so missed out on the opportunity to see Tal play a more cavalier character this time around. If he feels like leaning away from spells next time and back toward martial, I think a high-charisma, high-swinging swashbuckler from Tal would be a delight to watch.

Laura

Barbarian (Path of the Ancestral Guardian): Laura deserves to hit things, okay? Yes, spellcasting is great and comes in clutch frequently and Jester’s amazing, but you can tell Laura misses doing fat stacks of damage to the enemy in a single round. I personally think it would be amazing to watch her just cut loose and go full rage machine. As for the subclass, I’m not glued to the idea, but Ancestral Guardians are pretty kickass, have decent support capabilities for a barb without detracting from their DPS at all, and it doesn’t tread on any previous characters’ toes or their aesthetics.

Rogue (Scout/Soulknife): Laura deserves to play her favorite class at last, okay? She’s been class poached two campaigns in a row, and though that resulted in both Vex and Jester and I wouldn’t trade them for the world, Laura has earned first pick. Seeing as she already dipped into Assassin as Vex and Sam took Arcane Trickster, I could see Scout being a viable subclass choice. It’s in the classic sneaky vein, relatively simple in concept, but comes with features that grant easy-to-understand benefits that you can never turn your nose up at (boosts to movement, advantage on initiative, giving advantage against a target to everyone else in the party, etc.). If she’s looking for something a bit flashier, Soulknife has the benefit of retroactively dunking on Vax by taking the basic knife-rogue and making it better, with psionic knives that you can manifest with a thought, that can teleport you around Whisper style, and cranking up that stealth to ridiculous levels by just being able to turn invisible for ten minutes, no concentration or spell needed. The psionic die mechanics are a little funky of course, but I don’t imagine it’s any trickier than learning to manage all those cleric spells.

Monk (Way of the Open Hand): Between Beau just being super cool and her brief stint as Farriwen Breeze, monk wouldn’t be a surprising pick from Laura. An Open Hand monk might be the definitive version everyone knows, but you can’t deny it’s a solid subclass, and between previous overlap and the concepts of the other subclasses just not seeming to fit, I could see the classic being what she went with. But hey, it’s Laura Bailey. She could surprise us with Way of the Drunken Master or something.

Sam

Ranger (Monster Slayer): Let’s be real, I don’t think this would be his actual first pick for a Campaign 3 character, but the amount of shit-stirring he could achieve by making a character with the aim of pissing off Laura Bailey specifically would be hilarious (and since Matt isn’t completely opposed to UA and acknowledges that PHB ranger has a lot of issues, I wouldn’t be surprised if they went Revised Ranger this time).

Warlock (Genie): Actual first pick here, Pact of the Genie Warlock is confirmed by now, and the potential of a warlock in the hands of Sam Riegel is pretty vast (for some reason I’m imagining he would go the ‘spoiled sugar baby’ route). The subclass doesn’t matter as much, but the Genie one is nice in that, depending on the type of genie patron you pick, you can get a wide variety of extra spells, you get a container like a classic lamp or lantern that you can bamf into for short rests, and you get a limited Wish ability for your capstone, all features I feel like would especially appeal to Sam.

Barbarian (Path of the Wild Soul): I want to see Sam play a fairy barbarian. ‘Nough said.

Ashley

Fighter (Eldritch/Echo Knight): Ashley really seems to vibe with the crushing power of martial classes (she does love her brutal kill descriptions), so I could see her sticking with it rather than going back to full caster. However, I do see her picking one of the magical subclasses for some variety after Yasha. Eldritch Knight is a classic and reasonably easy to manage, but tbh I’d LOVE for it to be Echo Knight. And think, if my wishful thinking came true, with Ashley picking an Echo Knight and Marisha playing a Graviturgist wizard, they could link up their backstories and be a traveling Kryn battle duo that left their homeland behind to explore the world!

Sorcerer (Draconic): If she does want to go back to full-time casting, Sorcerer doesn’t require near as much bookkeeping as a cleric, druid, or wizard while still having decent variety, and the Draconic subclass is a bit beefier than the other subclasses. Also, it would be the third campaign in a row where Ashley Johnson’s character eventually got wings, soooo...

And tbh I have no idea what a third pick might be for Ashley, so I’m just gonna throw a dart or two at the board and say either College of Whispers Bard or Way of Mercy Monk *Shrug* We can only wait and see!

[otterbeesfanficblog]

When neutron stars collide

(Bakugou Katsuki x Reader)

Part 1: Steps Before The Starting Line

Part 2: When a Star Chooses To Shine Part 3: Compare And Contrast Part 4: From Where We Stand Part 5: You Would Be Angry Too...

A/n: Hello dear readers, I'm so glad you decided to read my story. I hope you have fun. Anyway, I wanted to clarify a few things before we begin. Because this is featured in Japan, your in story surname will be first. For your surname, I have chosen it based on your quirk. Many, if not all My hero characters have their surnames related to there quirk. Get ready if you don't already know this, you about to learn somethin'. For example: Bakugou's family name looks like this (爆豪), which is in Japanese kanji.  The kanji (爆) means (Burst) which can also be found in (爆発) (bakuhatsu) which means (Explosion). The second part of his surname (豪) has different meanings, one of them being (overpowering).  And in short, even his first name roughly means (Win) and (Myself) which really really relates to his need to win by himself and do most things himself. Now that we have explained Bakugou, let's explain you!I've chosen to use (宇宙急増) which is (Uchūkyūzō). The first half (宇宙) means (space), the second (急増) means (Surge or Explosion). From what you learned, I'll let you figure out what your quirk is. Either way, I simply wanted to explain this to you because I thought it was fun to do and I thought some of you would want to know. Japanese is such a beautiful and interesting language. Anyway, sorry for rambling, I hope you like the story!

You had to admit seeing it on tv, movies, shows, cartoons, animes...

The school was a lot different than you had expected it to be.

In all fairness, it was hard to say UA was a good example of what a 'normal' school is like. You may not be the most well versed in what a 'normal' school should be, but a school full of heroes and students training to be heroes was probably not too normal.

Your stomach twisted into a not as you watched all kinds of students pile into the UA for the same entrance exam, breathing in deep and letting out a big sigh you rubbed your face with your hands.

"Am I really doing this...?"

"I asked myself the same thing when I got here!"

You felt your body flinch at the sudden voice next to you, but looking to your side where it came from you relaxed. A little.

Standing next to you with a smile you can only describe as the rival of a golden retriever, was a boy with spiking red hair and red eyes. His teeth were as sharp as the points in his hair, but his eyes held nothing but friendliness in them.

He had a red tint to his cheeks as he rubbed the back of his neck with a groan.

"This is so nerve-racking, huh? I knew a lot of people would be here but man, it sure is crowded."

You were quiet for a moment, simply staring before you shook your head and realized normal people have conversations with each other.

"Oh, uh, yeah right. Crowded..."

"Sorry, totally blanked!" He held out his hand to you with his smile still wide. "My name is Kirishima Eijiro! Nice to meet you!"

You looked at his hand for a moment, slowly extending yours and giving it a small shake. His hand was warmer than yours and was rough, glancing up from his hand you realized how tall he was compared to you.

You mentally roll your eyes, scolding yourself for sizing up the first person you meet. He seemed nice enough...

"Yeah, nice to meet you too..."

He gave you a shy smile, tilting his head almost expecting something. You tilt your head back in confusion, trying to converse with him with your eyes. You jump a little and felt heat rushing up your neck you your cheeks.

"Oh! Right, my name... I'm Uchukyuzo Y/n."

"Wow! That's such a manly name!" He clenched his fist together in a fist pump motion in front of his chest, looking at you in awe, then quickly backing up and waving his hands around.

"Ah! I mean! Not to say you're like a man because.. you're a girl, obviously! Not trying to say you're manly. Eh-! I mean! Not to say you aren't manly! Just that, ya know, you aren't manly in the sense that you're a man! You're not a man! Well, unless you wanna be! If so - ah- That's awesome!"

You felt yourself grin up at him stumbling, it had been so long since you had talked to someone your age, let alone someone so... outgoing.

It was nice.

"It's cool, Kirishima. It's a compliment in my book, I think you're pretty manly too."

He paused his stumbling and gaped at you, then grin wide so wide he scrunched his face and closed his eye in glee.

"Oh wow! Being called manly by someone on my first day here, no way I'm gonna fail now!"

For the first time in a while you relaxed your body, then watched Kirishima bounce up.

"Oh! Hey, I got an idea! Let's sit together at the exam orientation!"

Grin not leaving your face, you nod with gentle eyes.

"Sure."

"Hell yeah! My first friend! Things are looking up!"

You let out a soft chuckle and let him lead the way while he continued to talk to you, telling you how excited he was to have this chance and how he was definitely gonna make it in. He treasures you that you would make it in too and that hopefully, you two could be in the same class together.

You just let him talk, agreeing with him every so often and chiming in if he had asked you a question or not. It was a little tricky at first, again you hadn't talked to someone your age for a long time, but with his outgoing personality, you quickly got into a rhythm with him.

You appreciated the fact that he wasn't someone to dig into your personal life after you dodged and gave vague answers to him about some stuff he got the picture you didn't talk about it that much.

He didn't at all hold back about himself though, which you found surprising. Everyone you had ever meet didn't really... talking about personal stuff like their life. You had been around people who minded their own business and didn't bother you so... you didn't bother them.

You and Kirishima had come in early so there were lots of seats open. You wanted to sit in the back and Kirishima wanted to sit in closer, so you two decided to compromise and you sat in the middle decently far back.

While more people were filling in seats, you were caught off guard by one of Kirishima's questions.

"Hey, noticed you aren't wearing your school uniform."

You froze and looked at the table in front of you, hiding your eyes from him.

You weren't wearing a school uniform the same reason why you don't have a bag like everyone else...

You were silent for a while and Kirishima was about to dismiss it before you looked up at him again. You gave him a timid smile while scratching at your cheek.

"Ah, I didn't really know I had to wear it. News like that doesn't really get to me until it's too late."

Kirishima looked at you with curious eyes, shrugged then looked at the screen in the front of the room.

"That's okay, I'm sure it won't be a problem. And if it is," He sends you a wink and shoves a thumb to his chest. "I'll be there to back you up."

Your chest clenched at his words, your throat barely letting any air in as you took a shaky breath in, hoping he didn't notice as you turn to the front. You give a strained smile and nod.

"Yeah... thank you..."

The orientation started boisterously by the pro hero and radio star Present Mic, though, no one reciprocated his calls to action. You were a little embarrassed to think you were actually going to respond to him, you opened your mouth to but when you heard nothing from your peers you quickly shut your mouth and slouched.

Then you felt secondhand embarrassment for a curly-haired boy with green hair and freckles as he was called out by a boy with blue hair and glasses in front of everyone.

"I could never..." You mumbled, crossing your arms and trying to hide more in your chair. Kirishima chuckled next to you and smiled.

"There's gonna be some interesting characters here, I'm excited! I mean, I already met you, and you're super cool!"

You looked at him confused, both of you leaning in close to each other so as to not get caught talking.

"But, I haven't done anything."

"You talked to me, that's pretty cool! Most people think I can be... eh, too much." He blushes and rubs his neck in a timid manner.

In all honesty, you only talked to him to blend in, it was only chance that you ended up liking his company.

"Anyway, he said we'll be in different battle centers. Which one are you in?"

You watched him pull out his exam ticket that you were also given when you came in here and looking at it, it said he was stationed at center D.

You reached into your pocket, pulling out the folded ticket, you realized how different yours was from his.

You only had your name, your examinee number, and the battle center you placed, which luckily was also center D. He had his school picture along with other information, which the picture you had to admit was cute. In the photo his hair was black and let down, showing he changed before he got here.

You didn't have any of that because, well... they didn't have records of that.

"Ah, yes! Same battle center! I already know we'd make a great team!"

Putting the ticket back into the pocket of your baggy ripped pants, you chuckle and shake your head at him.

"You do know this is basically a competition right? We have to win points for ourselves."

"Oh, sure, but who said we would have to do it alone? Present mic didn't say anything about not teaming up!"

You supposed he was right, but you had no doubt they would be watching for that too. They most likely wanted to separate friends to get the full potential out of everyone, and you can't do that if you are working with a friend, at least not all the time.

You both went back to listening to Present mic speak, but you weren't at all focused on his words. You glanced around at all the faces around you, some were serious, some were nervous, and some were just plain cocky.

You didn't use your quirk much, not unless you really needed it, which... That's a lie, you used your quirk often, but not at it's strongest. You did that once and...

Looking down at your clothes, you pulled at your baggy shirt and shuffled in your baggy pants. They looked like hand-me-downs from an outsider's view, which in a sense they were. You just hoped no one noticed...

They were the only clothes you had.

------

After you and many other students were bussed to battle center D, your nerves began acting up again and you couldn't help bouncing your leg.

There were a lot of people already showing off their quirks and getting pumped for the exam, you on the other hand couldn't get the sinking feeling out of your chest that you were not only being constantly watched, but also looked down on.

Kirishima had changed into something much more sensible than you, but he pressured you that it wouldn't matter what you were wearing once you got into it. You held tight to those words, knowing that you'll worry yourself into a hole thinking about things you can't fix so you focused on a plan.

Which... wasn't coming to you greatly. Of course, you had thousands of ideas popping off in your mind, but you knew plans can change in seconds, especially for hero work.

"We're gonna do great, then we're gonna get in, and be in the same class, and become pro heroes, and get to be symbols of peace all on our own!"

You chuckled and looked over at the red-haired boy, who you were sure if he had a tail it would be wagging non-stop.

"You sure are confident."

"And you aren't? Come on, once you get into it, it'll be as easy as breathing!"

The busses arrived and let you off, and you let yourself fall to the back of the group waiting at the large doors of battle center D.

Kirishima stood next to you looking more determined than before, which you were surprised because you didn't think he could be any more determined. Looking up at the large door you sighed, then glanced at your hands.

This whole time, you'd be collecting as much as you could and it was making your heart race. You knew you had to release it soon, but you also knew you could still gain more.

"START!!"

The doors opened and your head shot up.

You had this.

You ran close behind everyone else, closely feeling the vibrations of their feet hitting the ground next to you. Kirishima hollered in glee as he ran, grinning so wide it must have hurt. The group started to branch off every which way, but Kirishima stayed on your path with a few other people.

A three-point bot came around the corner and you all locked onto it.

"This one's mine."

There was no room for argument as you high jumped over the group with immense power, landing, then speeding to the bot. Jumping high above it you felt the power in your building as you land on it face, then you smile and started to glow.

"Boom."

You and the robot were surrounded in bright light, then an explosion came from you and the bot, sending a couple of people who were still behind you stumbling. As the light around you dimed, you were surrounded by specs of light that looked like tiny stars. The bot beneath you fell and you jumped off, landing before it and collecting the energy from the vibrations it forced into the ground upon it falling.

You yawned as a sense of tiredness fell over you, looking back you saw a few students still watching you in awe, one of them being Kirishima who looked like he was gonna cry.

"So cool..." He whispered.

You waved at him and began to jog off, calling back to him as you left.

"I'll see you later, Kirishima, get some points!"

Kirishima was right, once you were in it, you were in it. You weren't even really thinking about points even though you knew it was almost the whole point of the test, you just couldn't bring yourself to care about it.

You destroyed many bots and even saved a lot of people who were overwhelmed or just not ready. Time was going down but you were more focused on if this was real.

You've seen what villains could do in real life, they could be anyone, anywhere, anytime. You learned quickly at a young age, life will always be against you, and you have to be ready to fight to be alive.

You came down what looked like the main street, looking side to side. You saw a couple of students downing a few bots, while others stood and looked for more. Out of the dust clouds, you saw a bit of red hair flash into view, then you saw a very focused Kirishima.

He was breathing heavily just as you were, and he was helping someone up from the group, presumably asking if they were alright.

"Hey! Kirishima!!" You waved your arms above you, trying to get his attention. You couldn't help but smile, knowing not only he was your friend, but you were also so filled with pent up power and adrenaline, you didn't care if you stuck out.

He was quick to turn his head after hearing his name, once he saw you from down the street, he smiled and waved back.

Your meet up didn't last long when suddenly the ground started to rumble and shake, you allowed some of the energy from the rumbles to leak into your body. You didn't want all of it, in fear it would be too much, but you also wanted to be ready.

Turning around, you watched a humongous hand come around the corner, bringing with it its body and your eyes grew wide.

"Holy shit... That's a big boy."

The bot stood larger than the buildings and apparently was zero points, but the points weren't what you were thinking about as it easily collapsed a whole building. The collapsed building sent a huge dust cloud your way, you covered your eyes but took in all the energy you could from the blast and the bots movements towards you.

You started to glow as you glared up at the bot.

To you, it was real, very real. It remained you too much of your time as a kid, everything was bigger than you back then, you weren't about to step down from this thing. Especially not after you heard screams and people running away.

"Uchukyuzo! What are you doing!?"

Turning, you saw Kirishima running to your side with a look of our worry.

"This thing is huge and it's not worth points!"

"That's not the point." You glared back up at the bot as it got closer and closer, your body glowed and allowed tiny bits of star-like lights to fall from you. Kirishima looked at you as if you were crazy but stood firm by your side, readying his body and smashing his firsts together.

You watched sparks fly from them as the bashed into each other, seeing his skin turn stiff. His quirk was hardening, that could be very useful.

"Okay, then... I'm with you! What's the plan?"

"Catch me, I've got the rest."

Your eyes glowed and sparkled like a night sky as you smiled at him, you could see him sweating but he nods with determined eyes.

"You got this!"

With that, you crouched and sent a large amount of power through you legs to the ground, sending you flying into the air towards the bot. It wasn't long before you landed on it, with plenty of power still left and power you absorbed from its heavy movements, you knew you just needed a little more before you could to it.

You watched its many eyes glow in response to your appearance, zeroing in on destroying you.

If you were any younger, any less prideful, you would have ran away for sure. This was the thing you would run from as a kid, hiding instead of fighting. Not anymore.

You weren't going to hide anymore, you've hidden enough in your life.

It was time for people to know your name.

You began to glow too bright for people standing by to look at, bright as the sun. You friend down at the bot as you held onto it, hoping Kirishima could actually catch you.

"Let's create a supernova!"

You screamed this as you released all the pent up power you had, simultaneously taking in and expelling that same energy all at the same time. It hurt like a bitch, but you felt that power go right through the bot and a few feet into the ground below.

All that light disappeared, then reappeared with a vengeance, basically blinding anyone who was staring too close. It was silent for a few moments, but then almost a sonic boom came from where you were. A huge burst of wind and power exploded from where you and the bot were.

The bot exploded into pieces, and the sheer power behind the explosion sent you flying upwards. You, along with everyone else watching, saw the large bursts of colorful stars come from the bot as it fell to the ground. You were sent into the air, but soon you felt yourself start to plummet.

You gasped and forced your body to face down to see where you were headed, watching the ground below quickly approach as you looked for Kirishima.

Your heart plummeted into your gut when you couldn't find him, the one person you need to help you not die. You started to use the wind coming at you as a force of power, but you knew it wasn't enough to break your fall so you wouldn't die.

"UCHUKYUZO!!"

Your eyes go wide as you saw Kirishima jump from the window of a building towards you, holding out his arms. You reached out just the same, grazing him at first, then gripping his hands as he pulled you into his chest.

You felt his skin harden all around you, and you knew he was going to try and take the brunt of the blow as he placed himself under you.

You weren't having it.

The ground quickly coming at you, you flipped and had yourself beneath him. His eyes went wide at this, but you just smiled up at him, starting you glow.

Then, you both hit the ground.

Your eyes were tightly shut, your teeth clenched, until finally you opened you mouth wide and let out a breath you were holding in, along with a groan. You heard a groan from your chest, and you opened one eye to see Kirishima slowly getting up from on top of you. He opened his eyes, first blinking and just taking in what happened, then gasping and looking up at you.

"Uchukyuzo! Oh my god, are you okay!?"

You felt one of his hands behind your head, you suspected that was him trying to protect your head from the fall, the other was moved from your lower back to the ground on the side of your hip.

You let him pull his hand out from under your head and you went limp on the ground taking deep breaths as you closed your eyes and groaned.

"I'm okay, are you?"

"I'm fine, why are you asking me that!? You took the brunt off the fall! You told me to catch you!"

"And.." You opened your eyes and started to lean up. "You did, thank you."

Kirishima got off of you and sat next to you as you sat up, rubbing the back of your head before, tiredly turning around to see the mess.

It was big. Pieces of metal were everywhere, speckled stars still fell from the sky as the dust was clearing.

You slowly stood up, Kirishima standing as well and just silently watching you. Not to your surprise, many many students crowded around and stared at you. You looked on at all of them with half-lidded eyes, the adrenaline and power you had before was no longer there and you were exhausted and beat.

"Are... You all okay?"

They all started at you, mouths gaped and eyes wide. From what you could tell, none of them were seriously damaged, which was good. You nodded and put a hand to your stomach in pain, which you then felt your own skin.

Looking down, your clothes were ripped as hell. Your shirt was now a ragged, dirty crop top, and your pant legs were ripped at your thigh and your ankle, making it this mismatched length. Your shoes were as dirty and thin as they always were, if not a few new holes.

"Wow... I look like shit."

You turn to make a joke with Kirishima about how you really should have brought different clothes, but turning you saw him with tears in his eyes and clenching his fist. He tightly closed his eyes and nodded at you.

"So manly..."

You couldn't respond before you heard the overhead voice speak and a siren goes off.

"TIMES UP!!"

For a moment you just stood there then your eyes go wide.

"Ah, shit! How many points did I get! I wasn't paying attention! Did I get enough? How many is enough? I --"

The ground beneath you shifted and the word tilted to the side which made you stumble, you groaned again and closed your eyes.

"Well... shit..."

Then it all went black and you went numb.

-------

"Will she really be okay?"

"You worry too much, young man. She will wake up in no time."

A groan left your mouth as you rolled on to your side, snuggling into the blankets and pillow beneath your head.

"... Just five more minutes."

"AH! You're awake!"

You open one of your eyes to see where you were, the room was white and standing next to you with a sheepish grin was Kirishima, and next to him was a nice-looking old lady.

"I'm awake."

"Dude, you totally passed out at the exam. You freaked me out! You freaked a lot of people out actually!"

"Oh... sorry." You closed your eyes again and yawned, then sat up and rubbed your eyes. "How long have I been out?"

"It's sunset now if that gives you a clue, my dear." The old woman said, point out the window with a chain that kinda looked like a syringe.

Looking at the window, you saw that it was indeed sunset, which made you frown and look at Kirishima.

"Shouldn't you... I don't know, be at home?" After saying this he looked at you with shock.

"I couldn't just leave you here! I would just die wondering if you were okay or not! Can't have my first UA friend die on me!"

"Oh, hush, she wasn't dying." The old lady scolded him, turning and going to her desk as he rubbed his neck with a blush tinting his cheeks.

"Well, I didn't know that..."

You smile at him, throwing your legs over the side of the bed, partly wishing you could just sleep in the bed forever.

"Thanks for worrying about me Kirishima, but you should go home, I'm sure your family must be worried."

He shook his head as the old lady came back over and handed you some small candies.

"Nah, I called them to tell them I was making sure a friend was okay, they know where I am. I'm worried about your family."

You went still at the mention of your family, vaguely shrugging.

"I'm sure they're fine."

"We couldn't find any emergency numbers in your name, my dear." The old lady said, looking at you sadly. "So, we didn't know who to call."

"It's okay, really. Kirishima, you can go home now, you know I'm okay."

He then let out a sigh and ran his hand over his shoulder.

"Would... It be okay if I walked you home? Just to know you're really okay!"

You were about to quickly deny him the offer and even felt yourself thinking of some rude away to make him go home, but... looking at his concerned face and knowing you were the reason he stayed back so late...

"... Yeah, sure."

----

Recovery girl, as you learned she was the school nurse, gave you a new pair of clothes. You thanked her over and over for them, knowing the ripped clothes you had would no doubt go to the trash.

As you walked with Kirishima, you were both quiet. It was somewhat awkward and tense, but that was your fault.

You didn't want him to see your home, you didn't want anyone to see your home. You never let anyone go near your home, fearing judgment and pity.

"So..." Kirishima started, trying to fill the silence. "Your quirk is hella cool, how do you do it?"

You thought for a moment.

"Well... I think I would call it force control. See, I can absorbed any kind of force or power. Some more than others, vibrations and impact forces are easier."

"Uh..." He looked at you confused, so you slowed down and explained.

"Meaning I can absorb vibrations from the ground or if I was hit, say, in the face, I could take that impact energy and use it for my own. I can also take in things like air, light, and sound. Other stuff too but, those ones don't work as fast as the one I mentioned before."

"So," He looked off in front of him. "Are you like, collecting energy all the time."

You hum in though, waving your hand in a so-so motion.

"Well, yes and no. If I really focus, I can absorb a lot of energy. If I'm just walking like I am, I'm collecting but just not as much, just enough to keep me going."

He groans and puts his head in his hands, you look at him in confusion.

"What-"

"Your quirk is so cool! Mine's nowhere near that cool, or flashy! I mean, you explode like a star in the sky! All I do is get hard."

You choked on the air you breathed in and screamed, covering your mouth as you laughed. At first, he thought you were laughing at his quirk, then he realized what he said and his face grew almost as red as his hair.

"AH! I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!!!!"

You both end up laughing for a while, him from embarrassment, you from it being just plain funny. After you calmed down you smiled over at him.

"Hey, honestly, your quirk is fuckin' amazing. The ability to harden your skin like a shield, making it a fantastic defense tactic, while also being able to use it offensively. That's nothing to sneeze at, Kirishima."

He shyly chuckled, looking off into the distance.

"Yeah, I guess..."

You soon came to where you planned on taking him.

"Here we are."

It was a one-story house, it was clean, white, and had a for sale sign on it. Kirishima looked at it then to you.

"You're moving?"

You shrug.

"I move around a lot."

"Oh, well, okay."

You smiled gently at him.

"Thank you for taking me home, you're a really nice guy."

He waves his hand dismissively with a smile.

"No way, it's just the right thing to do. Oh, how bout I give you my number, and we can call each other while we wait for our results!"

You felt your blood run cold as you let out a chuckle, shyly scratching your head.

"Actually, I... don't have a phone."

"Oh..."

"Sorry..."

"Eh, it's okay, I know we'll both make it in any way. No worries."

He began to turn down the street you both came from, turning back with a smile and a wave.

"See ya, Uchukyuzo."

"... Hey!"

You called out to him which made him stop and turn back to you, smiling you shrug towards him.

"Just call me Y/n."

He seemed shocked at first, then gave a huge grin and nodded.

"Sure, and you can keep calling me Kirishima or Kiri if ya want! Bye!"

You waved at him one last time, watching his disappear around a corner. As he did so, your smile vanished and you dropped your hands to your sides with a sigh.

Looking at the house you stood in front of, you glared at it, knowing you would have to switch houses soon. Not because you lived there, god no. It was because you didn't live there, you were just using its mailbox.

If you tried to live in that house, people would start to notice and you didn't want to get in trouble like that again. So, with a sigh, you turn away from the house and venture off to your real home.

If you could call it that.

Making your way to a somewhat closed-off area, you looked to see if anyone was watching, then turned down an alleyway. In the alleyway was a large wooden board set up against the wall, talking the side, you drag it to the side enough to see the narrow space between the two buildings it was leaning on.

You shuffled your way in the narrow walkway, turning and pulling the wood board back into place, then turning and going down the narrow way. Once you were at the end, there was another wooden board, which you move as well. You made your way in the small boxed off area, the shoved the wood back in place.

Turning around, you faced your real "home".

A large tipped over dumpster was where you had placed your back shift bed, made from a dirty, old, and ripped table cloth and a bunched up pile of ripped clothing you couldn't wear anymore as a pillow.

In the middle was the small trashcan that you used as a fire pit, just the left of where you slept held all your canned and stolen foods. It also held a first aid kit you had stolen and a few other things you had 'permanently borrowed' from someone.

The whole place was covered by scrap metal you have found and use as a roof for your little 'home', only enough space to let the smoke from the fire out.

Speaking of fire, you walk over and pick up your fire poker, pushing around the embers that were just barely alive. Looking to your right, you didn't have much left in your pile of flammable items so you put the poker down and decided to let the fire die.

Going to your food pile next, you looked through it. Most of the stuff had to be heated up of the fire you so nicely let die, but your stomach growled in anger of missing another meal for the four-time in a row. You didn't eat at all yesterday and you certainly didn't eat breakfast today, to you picked up the can of peaches and went over to your bed.

You didn't have a mattress, you just used some extra clothes you found here and there. You sit down, you head just barely grazing the top of the dumpster that hid your bed, opened the can and began to eat.

And by that, you just poured the contents into your mouth.

You grew to realize you can't be picky about what you ate, if you did, you'd be dead. Staring into the dying fire, you thought back to the red-haired boy you met today.

You wonder: Was he at home now? Did he have a home to go to? He said he had a family so, that's good. He must have a bed. And food. A home... Good...

"... someone as good as him doesn't deserve this fate..."

After finishing the can you put it off to the side, crossing your legs your slouch and rub your hands over your face. Covering your face your eyes start to have a familiar sting, to which you growl at and shake your head.

Crawling out of the dumpster, you pull down the lid, encasing you in darkness as you curl up. Head resting on the pile of clothes, you pull the table cloth up to your chin and close your eyes.

You couldn't help but imagine how the nurse's bed was so much better than ... this. You gently raise your hand, letting it glow. You released a burst of energy that stuck to the ceiling of the bin and floated all around it.

If you really imagined it, it was like you were floating in space, far away from earth and just... floating.

You willed yourself to close your eyes and hoped that you'd get at least a little sleep before you found out the horrors of tomorrow.

[aion-rsa]

Best Romantic Movies on Netflix

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Romance movies are not that different from horror movies. Both are incredibly hard to pull off, are heavily watched during a cold time of year, and hopefully end with every character covered in blood.

With that in mind we present to you a list of the best romantic movies on Netflix. Because romance deserves it, damn it. Virtually every song ever written is a love song but poor romance can’t get a fair shake at the movies. Whether it be a rom-com or just a straight-up soul-enlightening/crushing romance, our list of the best romantic movies on Netflix will get you back in touch with your cold, dead heart.

Set It Up

Set It Up is Netflix’s most accomplished original romantic comedy yet.

Zoey Deutch and Glen Powell star as overworked assistants Harper and Charlie. Harper is an assistant to Kirsten (Lucy Liu) the woman behind a sports media empire. Charlie works for finance maven Rick (Taye Diggs). Harper and Charlie realize that their respective workloads might lesson if their bosses were more focused on their love life and less focused on work. So they…set them up.

Set It Up is a fun, novel high-concept romance movie positively filled with chemistry on all sides.

Outside In

We embrace every kind of love on our list of the best romance movies. Sometimes that includes some questionable, and some would say “icky” kind of love. So…Outside In is a teacher-student romance. But don’t panic! It’s ok.

Jay Duplas stars as Chris, a man who was wrongly imprisoned at age 18 and who is relased at age 38. When Chris is released, he immediately meets up with his old high school teacher, Carol (Edie Falco), who was his penpal when he was in prison. He wastes little time before he declares his love for her.

Despite its subject matter, Outside In is a mature, well-handled exploration of love and what it means to love someone for themselves as opposed to what they do for us.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

With a name as long as The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society, the movie better be good to justify how many times we poor cultural commenters must type it out. Thankfully Guernsey is quite good!

Based on a book by the same name, Guernsey is a historical love story set in 1946. Lily James stars as British writer Juliet Ashton. Juliet begins exchanging letters with residents of the islands of Guernsey, which was under German occupation in WWII (so like two years before the movie starts). While there she meets the dashing Dawsey Adams (Michael Huisman) and romance begins to blossom.

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society is an excellent, watchable classical romance

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before

Oh hey! Another Netflix original with a long title based on a book. Like the Potato Peel Pie Society, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before is another effortlessly enjoyable romantic romp – this time of the teen variety.

Lara Jean Song Covey (Laura Condor) experiences every young person’s nightmare when private love letters to five boys she has or has had crushes on suddenly and mysteriously become public. But fear not. This is a romance movie, not a horror movie. So this sudden reveal has to go well for Lara Jean, right? RIGHT?!?

To All the Boys P.S. I Still Love You

The To All the Boys team returns for a sequel that teaches kids the harsh lesson that there’s no such thing as happily ever after! OK, so that’s a bit harsh, but To All the Boys P.S. I Still Love You does bring back its characters for another round of romantic angst.

Read more

Movies

To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You Review

By Delia Harrington

Movies

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before Review: A Pleasurable Netflix Rom-Com

By Delia Harrington

Lara Jean (Lana Condor) is now officially Peter’s (Noah Centineo) girlfriend. But before they can relax and enjoy their lives together, an old flame of Lara Jean enters the frame. That’s right, John Ambrose (Jordan Fisher) is here and he wants to steal your girl, Noah Centineo.

The Danish Girl

2015’s The Danish Girl tells the story of a kind of love nearly unprecedented for its early 20th century time. Eddie Redmayne stars as artist Lili Elbe, who was born Einar Wegener and is believed to be one of the first individuals to receive sexual reassignment surgery. The film follows Lili’s journey and her love with wife Gerda Wegener (Alicia Vikander).

When Gerda asks her husband to stand in for a female subject in her painting, Einar does so and quickly comes to terms with the gender identity he’s been suppressing. The newly confirmed Lili and Gerda navigate this new dimension of their relationship and Lili continues her work as a subject for Gerda’s now very much in demand paintings. 

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Beauty and the Beast

2017’s live-action version of Beauty and the Beast isn’t the best depiction of the classic fairy tale ever but that’s ok. It doesn’t have to be. All Bill Condon’s Beauty and the Beast really needed to be was a fun little dip into nostalgia with sumptuous visuals and a believable romance. On that front, everything goes according to plan.

Read more

Movies

Emma Watson on Beauty and the Beast: ‘I’m Very Grateful That This Character Exists’

By Don Kaye

TV

Beauty and the Beast Disney+ Prequel Series Set with Luke Evans and Josh Gad

By Joseph Baxter

Emma Watson stars as Belle and Dan Stevens is her beast. Belle heads off from her small French town to the Beast’s castle to rescue her father. What follows is Stockholm Syndrome: The Movie. But sexier. Beauty and the Beast really does look good and Watson and Stevens have just enough chemistry to make this a worthwhile romantic experience.

50 First Dates

50 First Dates has a somewhat disappointing Rotten Tomatoes score. Ignore that. It’s probably partially due to many critics’ distaste for at least one of the actors in the above screengrab. Not that they can be blamed. The presence of Adam Sandler or Rob Schneider in any comedy is rarely a good sign. In 50 First Dates‘, however, it’s not an issue at all. 

50 First Dates is a legitimately funny and romantic romantic comedy. Drew Barrymore stars as Lucy Whitmore, a woman with short-term memory loss. Due to a car accident, every day she wakes up believing it is October 13, 2002. Sandler’s character Henry Roth meets her in Hawaii and the two must overcome this bizarre condition to establish a lasting relationship.

Carol

Todd Haynes, director of Carol and Far From Heaven knows longing. And if there’s an element that makes for an excellent romantic movie experience its longing. That desperate sense is baked into nearly every frame of Carol. Based on a 1950s romance novel, Carol is the story of a young photographer (Rooney Mara) and an older woman going through a divorce (Cate Blanchette) undertaking a forbidden affair.

Forbidden because, you know, ’50s. And that’s where the longing comes in. Nothing is more romantic or sexier than a forbidden romance. Carol channels that romantic energy into something mature, fascinating and heartbreaking.

Silver Linings Playbook

Silver Linings Playbook is all about how generally terrible it is to be a Philadelphia Eagles fan. OK, fine – it’s only a little bit about that. This star-studded 2012 film from David O. Russell is more about the challenges in finding love when one isn’t sure they even love themselves.

Bradley Cooper stars as Pat Solitano Jr., a young man with bipolar disorder living with his parents after being released from a psychiatric hospital. Pat is determined to win back his ex-wife and to that end enlists the help of young widower Tiffany Maxwell (Jennifer Lawrence). The two become closer as they train for an upcoming dance competition and share their respective damages with one another.

Silver Linings Playbook works because Lawrence and Cooper have a real crackling chemistry. And they both just happen to be devastatingly, almost supernaturally attractive.

Runaway Bride

From stars Richard Gere and Julia Roberts to director Garry Marshall to conspicuous usage of enormous cell phones – Runaway Bride is an intensely ’90s film. And to the rightly organized mind, that just makes it the platonic ideal of a low-stress romantic comedy.

Roberts stars as Maggie Carpenter, an alluring young woman who has made a habit of leaving multiple fiancé’s at the altar. Gere is Ike Graham, a New York columnist seeking to tell the definitive story of this “runaway bride.” Runaway Bride is a charming experience that will make you think long and hard about how you really like your eggs prepared.

Loving

It feels reductive to call Loving a “romance” movie, as its more of a historical exploration of the very real, very tragic legacy of American racism. At its center, however, the film is about love.

Loving tells the story of Richard (Joel Edgerton) and Mildred Loving (Ruth Negga), a mixed-race Virginia couple challenging their state’s law against interracial marriage in the Supreme Court. The details of the Lovings struggle for basic human rights are astonishing. Edgerton and Negga’s empathetic performances make sure the film never loses sight of the humanity at play amid all the legal drama.

Always Be My Maybe

Everyone always talks about “the one who got away”, but what about “the one who was always kind of around”? 2019’s Always Be My Maybe tells of one such story.

Ali Wong (who wrote the film) stars as Sasha Tran and Randall Park stars as Marcus Kim. Marcus and Sasha grew up next door to each other and also embarked on a brief, ill-fated relationship in their teenage years. When Sasha returns to San Francisco to open a restaurant, she discovers that romantic energy remains between her and Marcus. But is that enough to spark love in the busy, chaotic adult world?

Always Be My Maybe has a lot to say about family and growth. It also features a truly winning performance from Keanu Reeves playing…Keanu Reeves.

The Kissing Booth

There’s an interesting dynamic at play in teenage romantic comedies. Oftentimes, the worse they are, the more watchable (and rewatchable) they become. The Kissing Booth is a prime example. Based on a book by the same name from Beth Reekles, The Kissing Booth isn’t exactly celebrated for its realistic portrayal of American teenagers.

Thanks to charming lead performances from Joey King, Jacob Elordi, and Joel Courtney, however, that doesn’t really matter. The Kissing Booth is all about how one girl’s first kiss turns into an emotional minefield of teen angst. That alone is enough to support 105 minutes of pure high school drama…and two sequels!

The post Best Romantic Movies on Netflix appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[daily-dose-of-imagines]

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Matchup ♥

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Hi!! First of all I’d like to congratulate you guys on your 1000+ followers!! It’s a massive milestone and I’m so happy and proud of you guys for it!! Admittedly I’ve only just found your blog but after hours of scrolling through it I can honestly say that I truly admire the work you put into every one of your requests and fics!! You guys deserve this a lot xx

I’d like to request a match-up for Haikyuu (all male characters) if you guys don’t mind!! Also hopefully the description isn’t too long!! :’)

I’m a 20-year-old Leo girl who’s studying Biomedical Engineering and Arts (with an English major!!) in Sydney. I used to be a guitarist in a high school band and am in general more of an independent individual than a leader/follower.

Physically I’m short with a generally small frame, and have naturally curly hair (though I’ve straightened the top half now!!) dyed a dark rose-pink/brownish color with loose eyebrow-length side bangs on either side curling outwards!! I tend to have softer features and my eyes are on the smaller side HAHHAHAH. My wardrobe basically consists of black, white, brown and beige with lots of jeans, boots and belts and almost no dresses ahahahah. (tbh my icon is me so yall can reference that but I usually have my hair let down ahahahh)

I’m a shy person but some of my friends say I exude a quiet confidence HAHAHHAH. Other ways my friends/family have described me include: smart, kind, awkward, cute, determined, hardworking, creative and being a happy virus. I generally do well in my studies and am particularly good in Physics and English! I do have my flaws tho, I can be too playful at times to the point where it accidentally gets someone hurt, I’m usually running late, I have terrible mood swings and I can be selfish or a little too competitive at times (especially towards my younger siblings unfortunately). Also I’m basically the most indecisive person ever!!

I love writing but I have a problem with not knowing when to stop and hence tend to go beyond word limits. I write well in both creative and academic writing though! I also love spending time with my dogs, napping/playing with them etc. I tend to work out quite a lot and I particularly love cycling! I love being up early and generally don’t mind waking up early but I like my mornings quiet and calm as I enjoy my breakfast hahahhah! But I also tend to stay up till very late at night so I truly am lacking a lot of sleep. I tend to spend a lot of time in my room and I like it that way but I love fun social events like parties and weddings (I’m not sure why??). I love cartoons/animated films a lot idk why but they give me a sense of relief from all my stress and they just make me feel good after watching them?? I also love creating random customized stuff like designing a birthday cake for my brother or creating a specialty dish for Mother’s Day- things like that. Things I don’t like include: loud noises, inconsiderate people, snails, being looked down upon, judgemental and close-minded people, presentations in front of large crowds and chocolate (sorry!!).

Some aesthetics of mine include: the colors of fall, comfy knitted sweaters, the smell of freshly brewed coffee and freshly baked bread, apple-scented objects, the fresh air on the top of a hill at the end of a hike, the wind in your face as you cycle down a hill, receiving or giving a customized gift, glass/transparency, deep ideas, hugging a dog (most furry animals), being in the middle of a bustling city, the sound of rain in the middle of the night, the serenity at dawn, wrapped up in your blanket watching your favorite tv show at night, getting work done at a cafe, the satisfaction having completed all your responsibilities, the way cereal and biscuits melt in your mouth after being soaked in milk for some time, hugs, doves being the symbol of peace and freedom, nyc apartments and theme parks.

My favorite food include pumpkins, Marie biscuits, cereal, artisan bread, almond milk, eggs with runny yolks, tomatoes, brocolli, mushrooms, bibimbap, sashimi salads, deli sandwiches, bruschetta, prawn dumplings, tiramisu, tangerines and flat rice noodle soups. My favorite books include Looking For Alaska by John Green and the Fire and Flood series by Victoria Scott. My favorite movies are Pitch Perfect (1&2 were good but 3 was kinda disappointing), The Devil Wears Prada, Wreck-It-Ralph, Inception, Enchanted, Kiki’s Delivery Service, the new Jumanji movies and Little Women. My favorite artists are One Direction and the kpop group Pentagon, which are basically the only two fandoms I’m apart of (if you don’t consider the 1D boys having 5 separate fandoms) and fandom life is a big part of who I am hahhahah. Oh! The Marvel fandom too as I absolutely adore Tony Stark and hence RDJ hahahah! My favorite TV Show is Friends (cliche I know) but also some animated series ahahhahh.

Have an amazing day!! xx

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Hello @ehlipses​ and thank you so much! I am so so so happy you like our work, it means a lot to us! And I sincerely hope you enjoy the boy I paired you up with!

>Admin 𝕋

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𝐼 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽...

Okay so, I feel as though Semi would be perfect for you! Admittedly when I saw that you played guitar in high school, I immediately knew that Semi would be very attracted to that, thinking he and you could definitely bond with music, and playing instruments. It would such a cute sight to behold! But on another not, he will be incredibly impressed that you are studying engineering, along with and English major! I see Semi as one who will be attracted to someone who is smart and independent, someone who can take care of themselves, and is more of a leader than a follower, yet would rather be an individual and not deal with labels. And you fit the bill to a T!

For appearance, I feel as though Semi would absolutely love you rhair! Like it won’t show in his face, but he would stare at it and just think that he wants to touch, to run his fingers through it, like all the time. It would become some sort of relaxation thing for him, especially before games to play with your hair! It would so freaking cute! And along with the style and the color of it? Yeah this boy would just love it; it would make him want to dye his own hair to make it cool like yours! Semi would love this soft look you have going on, and don’t think bad about your small eyes; Semi will think that just adds to your unique features, makes you different from the rest of the people he has met and known. It is what makes you, you and he will love it very much! And has for your style, he would be very appreciative of it, only because it is so cohesive! I feel as though Semi is a great sense of style and could see someone who also has a good sense of style and really appreciate it, and if you were the one with it? Well, that would just further his infatuation with you!

Semi will love how the things you love mostly line up with his! He loves writing music and he loves that you write as well, in the other sense! Semi would have this idea of where he writes a piece of music, and then he will ask you to write a story based around the music he produced! It would be such a cute thing between the two of you! Semi also likes to workout and would love to exercise with you, and have you show him how to cycle properly! He thinks it would be a great way to get closer to you, and just see how much cuter you could get to him! He will understand the feel of waking up early for some quiet time, though I see Semi as more of a person that would sleep in, he would enjoy your routine while he sleeps lolol. Your ambivert attitude would really intrigue Semi, how you can just spend endless hours in your room to going to social events and not have your energy drained would amaze him, seeing as I think Semi would tend to stay away from big crowds. He would be drawn to that brightness you have! Semi will like how crafty you are with your hands, going from baking a cake for your mom, to creating cuisines for special events. He will think those are great characteristics for someone, and would be glad to it is you that has it! 

Semi also doesn’t like inconsiderate people, or judgemental and close minded people, so if you don’t like them and he doesn’t like them, it would be something you two can definitely bond on! I don’t see Semi being afraid of snails, but I see him thinking that it is extremely cute that you are afraid of them! He might tease you with one so be careful!

As for your aesthetics, I feel as though Semi will like all of them! Not necessarily because he likes all of them, but because all of them would remind him of you. From comfy knitted sweaters to the New York vibes, he would these things, feel these things, taste these things, and will automatically think about you. He won’t be able get you out of his head! And he would be okay with that, because that’s what he wants, to know you, think about you, love you, and be with you. Along with all the food you like to the fandoms you are in, he would be very supportive in what you like, in what you are interested in because all he is interested in is to see you happy with whatever you love, with whatever makes you interested in life, what makes you happy. And he would help in anyway he can, to make you just as happy!

[savannahsdrabbles]

Communications (Encounters-verse)

rating: G summary:  After her run in with Splinter and the turtles, April ands up essentially becoming their penpal. Everything is going fine until the messages suddenly stop.

notes: Oops I wrote more. 2.3k words. Ao3 link here.

April found the first note jammed under her bedroom window, the edges fluttering in the breeze and almost unnoticeable. She still wondered how Splinter had made it to the fourth floor – and how he knew which bedroom was hers – but she was slowly learning to not question her new acquaintances.

           “Thank you again for the pizza last night. Michelangelo is doing well and sends his greetings. We appreciate your discretion. -S”

           April tucked the note between the worn pages of ‘The Tale of Despereaux’ and hid the book on her shelf. The last line made her feel slightly uneasy. Instinct told her to immediately reveal what had happened in the alley to her mother, but something simultaneously held her back. She could already guess her mother’s reaction – questioning her daughter’s sanity and then making a big deal out of not letting her go outside alone. On the flip side, say her mother believed her immediately. The image of flashing lights outside and soldiers showing up to haul her new friends off to laboratories made April shudder. No, for the time being, she would keep this to herself.

           She ended up leaving a paper bag full of bologna sandwiches and apple slices on the fire escape. It wasn’t as great as pizza, but Mikey’s growling stomach the night before told her that food of any variety would be a blessing for them.

           “I won’t tell anyone – and I’m glad Mikey’s doing ok. I wish I could help more. – April O’Neil”

           The note and paper bag sat out on the fire escape all day, making April wonder if perhaps Splinter’s message had been his way of ending communication. However, when she passed the window during a nighttime bathroom run, she was pleased to see that both were gone. A second note now sat in its place – a paper tube tied together with a yellow piece of fabric.

           April retrieved the bundle silently and then hurried to the bathroom where she could turn on the light without disturbing her snoring mother. Once situated on the bathroom tile, the girl pulled off the fabric and smiled. Her bandana looked almost brighter than before and smelled strongly of soap.

           “I wanted to return your scarf today – I washed it this morning, so hopefully it is ok to use again. My sons also wanted me to give you these. – S”

           Several smaller pieces of paper were rolled up within the note. April looked back towards the door, listening to make sure that her mom was still asleep, and then carefully spread the papers on the floor in front of her.

           Three crudely drawn crayon drawings looked back at her. The first consisted entirely of scribbles – childlike interpretations of flowers and smiley faces, and a round circle at the bottom of the page that had been labeled ‘cat’ in shaky letters. The names “Michelangelo” and “Raphael” were written neatly in the corner in an adult’s handwriting – clearly Splinter’s. The second drawing was similar to the first, though the page looked much busier as if more hands had been involved. A small tear in the paper told her of someone pushing too hard with the crayon and accidentally ripping the page, and based on the name scrawled underneath the hole it seemed to be “Leo’s”. The final drawing was more concise than the rest – four short green sick figures bearing matching smiles and a slightly bigger grey one with a pink line that April imagined was a tail. An orange arrow pointed to one of the green figures, labeling it as “Me”, and April grinned. That had to be Mikey.

           She turned the paper over in her hand and examined the back. Mikey had drawn almost the same drawing on the first page – probably tracing the original image through the paper – but it was a bit different. This Mikey had a red scribble on his foot casually labeled ‘blud’, and the character was holding hands with a new character. This one was about the same height as the Mikey character, but was drawn with a tan crayon and featured a black shape above her head (April couldn’t help but laugh when she saw the scribbled out word ‘fur’ floating next to the cloud, and a slightly smaller marker beneath it labeling the cloud as hair). Mikey’s name was written at the bottom of the page in wobbly handwriting, as if he had been using a lot of concentration to write it neatly.

           April’s cheeks almost hurt from grinning as she carefully folded the papers back up added them between the pages of her book.

           A third note was left taped to the fire escape, thanking Splinter for returning the scarf and promising a drawing in response if he came back the next day.

           The next few weeks consisted of more of the same – April sneaking food out of her school lunchbox and leaving it on the fire escape with a note or drawing. Splinter didn’t come every evening, but that only served to make each morning a surprise. Her mom seemed shocked at the change – April had always been a night owl, but these days it seemed like she could never wait to dive into bed. April brushed this off as just being tired from school, to which her mother responded by packing extra food in her lunches every day.

“Brain food,” the woman reasoned as she tossed in a second pack of crackers and added a few more grapes to the Ziploc baggie. “Plus you’re probably coming up on a growth spurt – I started puberty at about your age, so you’ll need extra nutrients for when you start your –”

“Sounds great!” April had interrupted, eyes wide with horror as she grabbed the lunch box and darted back towards her room. “Thanks for the advice – gotta grab my backpack – I can’t be late for school!”

           “I wish I could see you guys again– school is boring and my mom’s being a bit weird. On the plus side, I can probably leave more food out now. – April”

           “The boys have been asking to see you, too. It would be too dangerous for us to be seen on the surface, however. I have kept the boys at home since our meeting. Also please don’t worry about the food if it is inconveniencing you. We appreciate it, but I would hate to upset your mother. – S”

           “No, that’s not an issue. Like I’ve said before, I wish I could do more to help. And what do you mean by surface? I’ve been wanting to know more about how/where you guys live. I know you said before that you’re safe, but what does that mean? – April”

           The messages stopped for a few days after this. Her last note had disappeared from the fire escape as expected, but nothing was left in its place. After the third evening with no response, April began to worry that she had said something wrong.  

           “I’m sorry – should I not have asked about the surface? I know you guys have to stay hidden. I’m sorry if I pried. – April”

           “It’s been four days since I heard from you now. I hope you’re not mad at me. If you are, I’m really sorry.  - A”

           “I left a few bananas on the fire escape, but they look like they went bad from sitting out there. I’ll try to leave more out tomorrow. – April”

           “Did something happen to you guys? I can’t stop imagining the worst now. – April”

           “Just please let me know you’re ok. – A”

           “I miss hearing from you.”

           “Please be ok.”

           Two weeks ended up passing with no response, and April hated every moment of them. Her notes were steadily accumulating on the fire escape, untouched and unread. After the third one she started to tuck them all into an envelope and stuck the envelope itself to the window. School and girl scout meetings seemed to drag on. Her usual fascination with science and learning diminished measurably, landing her in after school tutorials to combat her falling grades.  At home her mom fussed over her diminished appetite and sudden lack of energy, questioning if her daughter was sick or if something had happened. April just shook her head and mumbled that it was ‘probably puberty or whatever’.

           Realistically, her mind was constantly bouncing between two theories.

           One fear was that Splinter had realized that it was dangerous communicating with a human. Maybe when April had asked about the surface, he started to fear that she would spread the information and endanger his small family. The idea that he and the turtles distrusted her so much made April’s heart clench.

           The other fear was even greater – what if someone had seen him leaving the messages for her? April had awoken screaming one night after a nightmare where the turtles had been ripped from their father’s arms, wailing as they were thrown into cages and then hauled away to be experimented on. Mikey’s terrified face kept coming back into her mind. He’d been so afraid of her, a child barely older than himself and coming to his aid. She didn’t want to imagine him being approached by grown adults wielding scalpels and–

As much as she hated it, April desperately wished that the first option was the truth.

           Her answer finally came at the end of the second week.

           A small knock on her bedroom window roused April from a restless sleep. She reached over to her nightstand and patted around for her glasses, then sat up and flipped the switch on her lamp. The sight that she saw almost made her collapse with relief.

           There was Splinter on the fire escape, one hand sheepishly waving in greeting and the other clutching her envelope.

           April nearly tripped over her own feet as she threw herself out of the bed and dashed across the room. Reaching the window, she shoved the glass open and then threw her arms around the rat. “Oh my gosh – Splinter – I’m so sorry – I don’t know what I did but I thought –”

           “I am sorry, too,” the rat gave her a fatherly embrace in return, allowing the girl to squeeze his shoulders, and then gently pulled away. Even in the darkness, April could see bags beneath the rat’s eyes. “I did not mean to frighten you, or to stop corresponding. The past two weeks have just been… a lot.”

           “Is everyone ok?”

           Splinter nodded tiredly. “They are now. Michelangelo’s foot had been healing quite well, but it developed an infection that ended up getting him quite sick. He’s alright now, of course, but it was hard to handle without access to medical supplies.” The rat shook his head in frustration. “How I wish I could have just taken him to a hospital – we caught it early on, and I’m sure that it would not have gotten as bad as it did had he been able to receive antibiotics.”

           April didn’t know what to say, so she remained silent as he continued. “As if that weren’t enough, Donatello and Leonardo both came down with what I can only assume was the flu. Raphael and I ended up having our hands full, and time just slipped away from me.” he sighed, ears drooping slightly as he waved the hand with the envelope. “Again, I am sorry that I frightened you with our silence. I was going to just leave a note tonight explaining the circumstances, but after reading your messages, I realized it would seem cruel to not speak in person.”

           “I’m just glad you’re all ok,” April sighed heavily, her mind fully relaxing for the first time in two weeks. “I was afraid I’d said something wrong or asked too much.”

           The rat nodded softly. “I appreciate your concern – it was wrong of me to put the pressure of secrecy on someone so young, but your generosity and kindness have come to mean a lot to us, Ms. O’Neil. The boys talk about you constantly, and have been asking when they could next see you. Which brings me to my decision,”

           April watched as his expression morphed into a more serious one. For all the respect and care she’d grown to have for Splinter, his tougher expression reminded her of the way he’d looked at her the first time they’d met – she was a potential threat to his family, and he would do what he needed to protect those he loved.

           “There is a lot that I have not explained about my boys’ and my existence – some of this information I have not shared with them, either. However, you have proven your trustworthiness and integrity, and I would like to extend an offer to you. I cannot thank you enough for how you have helped our family, but I would like to show you how much you mean to us. If you are willing, I would like for you to visit our home. You do not have to come, nor do you have to return if you do not want to. But my family would love the opportunity to personally honor you as our hogosha – our guardian spirit. I hope you understand that this would have to remain private-”

           “I would love to!” April blurted out, then immediately blushed at her eagerness. “I mean – I would love to get to hang out with Mikey and the others. And you, too.”

           Small crinkle lines appeared under Splinter’s tired eyes as he smiled. “Very well. In that case, I would like to invite you to dinner tomorrow evening. I will personally come and get you, and can escort you to our home. Once we are finished, I can return you here before anyone will notice your absence.”

           “Ok!” April bounced on the balls of her feet and grinned. “I can’t wait!”

           “Oh, and until then,” Splinter pulled a small pencil from the folds of his robe and scribbled something on the back of the envelope. “Donatello recently helped me to install a phone in our lair. I figured that this might me an easier method of communication than our notes.”

[krolock-in-the-snowlock]

I watched Broadway’s Dance of the Vampires so you don’t have to

Ever wondered how bad the broadway version actually is? Now’s your chance to find out, my friend...

So about a month ago, I came across a bootleg of the broadway show and, because it was late and I am a Certified Idiot, I decided to watch it and write down my thoughts. Having heard how bad it was, I knew to expect a train wreck, but I had no idea just how much of a train wreck it was going to be until I pressed play and witnessed something that truly cannot be described in words.

I was originally just going to post my whole list of thoughts but it ended up being over 5000 words (many of which were me screaming NO and wHYYY) so I’ve put it in a separate post, so click that link if you want to read it in its entirety!

Instead, I’ve decided to do a (slightly) shorter summary of ‘highlights’, if they can really be called that, with a kind of silly score for each ‘category’. A review, if you will. I’m sure I’ll have missed some things, but this should hopefully at least give you an idea of what exactly they did to poor Tanz der Vampire. Still, I apologise for the length of this in advance - I just had a lot of thoughts, okay?

A quick disclaimer: While I have seen clips of producations of Tanz from various countries, I’ve only seen the whole production once - the Berlin bootleg from somewhere around 2009-11 - so I’ll mostly be comparing with that!

I know the broadway musical is a big taboo subject, so I’m not expecting many, if any, to actually read any of this. But if you ever wondered how bad it was and didn’t want to have to actually watch it, this post is for you!

So, without further ado…

The Characters: -7/10

Let me begin by saying that many of the characters bear almost no resemblance to the originals. The worst case, of course, is with Giovanni von Krolock. A cringeworthy caricature, his awful faux-Italian accent, terrible jokes and horrifying bat form make him the polar opposite of what Krolock is supposed to be. In my notes, I actually referred to him as Giovanni rather than Krolock, because this is not Krolock; where Krolock is mysterious, aloof, powerful, and occasionally slightly sarcastic, Giovanni is silly, makes puns in nearly every line, and commands no respect or fear whatsoever. I resent that I began to ironically enjoy mocking him by the time I’d finished watching it.

Alfred is absurdly confident and confrontational, and narrates everything he writes in his journal (and tbh is probably a closeted bi). Sarah now apparently has friends and is allowed to leave her room. Koukol doesn’t exist, and is replaced by a man that Krolock hypnotises, who sometimes acts like a dog. Herbert is French, ridiculously stereotypical, and there is a very poor attempt from Krolock at pronouncing his name in a French accent. The other characters are fortunately mostly the same as the originals, although not entirely.

The Music: 2.5/10

Oh, the music… how do I begin?

Long story short, it was generally horrible. Multiple songs were cut entirely, and others were mashed together into strange frankensongs. The opening song, for instance, is completely different (and was what immediately made me realise I’d made a terrible mistake in deciding to watch it). The lyrics were mostly not as interesting as the original German lyrics, and often had less syllables, so the songs often felt empty and drawn out.

Many of the songs had slightly different overall meanings/purposes to their German counterparts, and I though that songs like Total Eclipse and Invitation to the Ball were way too sappy and romantic, lacking any of the drama and tension of Totale Finsternis and Einladung zum Ball. Krolock had been so ridiculous the whole time that Die Unstillbare Gier sadly could never have worked, even if the lyrics had been better. The singing itself was actually pretty good from what I remember, which was the only thing that saved the music, but Krolock’s horrible accent ruined many of the songs he was in. There was so much potential for it to be good if they’d just done a faithful adaption…...

I could go on forever about the music (as I do in my full commentary) but that would probably need a whole new post! So instead let’s move on to…

The Costumes: 2/10

Boring. Sarah’s red ball gown is nice enough, but all of the other vampires’ costumes are painfully simple and poorly designed. Krolock lacks a cape for most of the musical (which is a crime), Herbert is dressed in a hideous bright blue coat and an aggressively yellow wig, and the finale costumes are just simple black leather coats. It all lacks any of the detail or, in Herbert’s case, sparkle, of any of the other versions of the costumes that I’ve seen. While I should probably note that this was in 2002, it is still noticeably simpler than other productions of Tanz around the same time. Krolock also lacks his usual makeup, and Herbert’s is just ugly. And Krolock’s top hat in the opening? Why???

The Staging: -5/10

When they aren’t dancing, most of the ‘staging’ is just the characters at opposite sides of the stage facing each other. It doesn’t matter what is supposed to be happening in the scene, or the message of the song; they just... stand there. Occasionally, if you’re lucky, the characters might stand next to each other, but such close proximity is a rare occurrence in Dance of the Vampires, saved mostly for Alfred or Krolock with Sarah or Herbert and, in a strange duet about books, Krolock and Professor Ambronsius.

Krolock does pretty much nothing in Die Unstillbare Gier, and the staging for Einladung zum Ball was very confusing, at least when they weren’t just standing still. Sarah’s bedroom inexplicably becomes a cloudy place with no floor, and it was never quite clear whether the scene was a dream or not. Considering the rest of the musical, either possibility is honestly equally likely. At one point at the start of the first act, Krolock literally rises out of the ground in a huge coffin. I could go on. Also the sponge Krolock gives Sarah is a fraction of the size of the one he gives her in the original, which I like to think is a metaphor for the broadway production itself.

The Sets: 3/10

While not accurate to any other versions at the time or since, a couple of the sets were admittedly quite pretty (though still not quite on Kentaur’s level). However, there was no inn structure for the first act, and some of the sets were quite limited. One of the most popular (and nicest) sets in the second act is a huge stairway covered in a frankly impractical number of candles.

In the finale, despite the characters on multiple occasions declaring that the story takes place in Transylvania in “18something”, the background is for some reason Times Square with all of its neon signs (which I’m pretty sure did most certainly not exist in the 1800s). Whether a huge location change and time skip of a couple hundred years has taken place or whether the directors and set designers finally gave up trying to make the story make sense, I have no idea.

Worst Moments:

I just had to include this section! These are only a few of the worst and/or most bizarre moments I could pick out. I’m sure there’s more that I forgot but here are some (read: quite a few) of my favourites:

Krolock, wearing a top hat, rising from the ground in a giant coffin before saying, “God has left the building”

Krolock appearing as a hideous animated bat thing

Sarah and her friends getting high on mushrooms in the opening

The fact that Sarah’s birthday is on Halloween at midnight during the total eclipse of the moon

Krolock offering Alfred a sponge shaped like a penis then slowly tilting it down when Alfred says no

Ambronsius decorating Sarah’s room in Halloween decorations to scare off Krolock

Krolock genuinely being convinced that Sarah is a literal princess until he visits her room

Krolock and Ambronsius harmonising about books together

The big grey winged gargoyle demons dancing on the bed during Carpe Noctem

Krolock repeatedly dressing in a big grey dress and pretending to be his own mother/wife/who even knows what

Alfred angrily threatening Krolock, followed by Krolock physically attacking Alfred (this happens on more than one occasion)

The nonsense ‘prophecy’ they randomly introduce

“I use my body as a bandage, I use my body as a wound” (and this is instead of “Ich will frei und freier werden, und werde meine Ketten nicht los”) WHAT DOES IT MEAN

Koukol-replacement saying, “Okay, here he is, the man you’ve all been waiting for, his excellency… the Count von Krolock!) and Krolock waving and pointing like a rockstar as he kisses people walking down the stairs to the ball

Krolock dramatically dying on the stairs at the end of the ball for a solid minute

The Good Parts

Surprisingly, there were a few redeeming features!

Firstly, the couple of songs where they kept things very similar to the source material (such as Knoblauch) were actually quite good at times. Unfortunately, this isn’t to say that they were necessarily good, but compared to the less faithful parts they were a nice surprise, even if Knoblauch was never my favourite song from Tanz.

The singing itself was generally pretty good too! I also hate to admit that I did at times find myself laughing a little at the awful jokes.

And... uhh...

...yeah, that’s about it...

Some Highlights From My Notes:

And finally, here are some out of context quotes from my notes that I feel sum up the musical quite well:

It sounds like he’s about to start a really sad rave

I was gonna roast the lyrics some more but I’m gonna be honest I’m not sure what he’s saying

This feels on the same level of what kind of acid trip hallucination parallel universe have I landed in as seeing the Cats film in the cinema

Is this actually Deadpool in disguise with all the fourth wall breaking

Crawford looks like he regrets everything and can I just say Michael so does everybody else

He looks like a potato or a rock or that neutral nicolas cage face that people put on the sequin cushion

This sounds like a poorly written Krolock/reader wattpad fanfic

Giovanni would highkey be like lol arent i so random rawr xd on myspace

He might as well have said, “Itsa me, Mario”

They’re just stood there like two pigeons aimlessly squawking at each other

Alfred is like a chihuahua with small dog syndrome barking at a bigger dog, except Giovanni is barely bigger and is a flea-infested Chinese Crested dressed in a cheap Halloween costume

The throne glides like a magic carpet only it doesn’t leave the ground so I suppose it’s actually more like a chair with wheels, which is much less exciting

He just stands there like a poorly-dressed rock

-22/10 would not listen again

Final Comments:

So, if you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope that was somewhat informative and/or entertaining for you! It took me weeks to get through the whole musical because I couldn’t stand watching it for too long at a time, and maybe you can see why! Like I said at the start of this monster of a post, there’s probably a lot that I’ve forgotten to mention, so if you’re unfortunate enough to have seen any of this car crash of a musical, feel free to add your thoughts! :D