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bwicblog · 8 years ago

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> [Part 1] Close Encounters of the Zombie Kind

[Pheres (RS) embarks on a zombie-observation expedition with his new research assistant, Laledy (SS); an ex-soldier, Faizah (BB); and a local guide, Cennef (XR). When they decide to livestream the adventure in a group chat, things, as predicted, go horribly wrong.]

EXCERPT:

XR: also, there could have been unattached larva down there

XR: where do you think they come from in the first place

RS: an oviposter, presumably, but clearly i was misguided

SS: (Storks!)

RS: a stork's oviposter

RS: hahaha

LP: The chat sure is uncharacteristically silent lately... >ooo<

LP: Or maybe I am just on at the wrong times! :o >ooo<

RS: | Haha | It has Been a Quiet Day | ! |

RS: | And Now a Quiet Night |

RS: | I Expect All of Us are Busy at Work | ? |

RS: | Or Out | It is Still a Festival Week |

UV: Or because the end of the Festival Week is coming. A lot of couples are no doubt out celebrating the last nights.(edited)

RS: | Haha | Yes | ! | =:) | I Almost Wish I was Out |

LP: Ah... That does make sense. >ooo<

LP: How come you're not? >ooo<

SS: (Ey, pal, nonna that 'quiet night' hoofbeastshit, you're gonna up and jinx us!)

RS has attached VID345345.MOV! It's a quick pan of the camera over a dark, white-sanded desert. There's rock formations all around - a brief glimpse of a jadeblood and a brownblood, faces slightly blurred by the motion - and the sound of chattering off in the distance. The camera cuts when something whoops.

RS: | Not as Exciting as Festivities | Sadly |

RS: | But Occasionally One must Miss Them | Haha |

SS: ('It's a quiet night's, like, the last ish peeps up and say afore they get mobbed by thirty zeds and become one with the horde.)

UV: What sort of business do you have out in an area like that? If you do not mind me asking, that is.

LP: Oh! You're out in the desert? >ooo<

SS: (Bit athis, bit athat, bit a not gettin bit by zeds! (\eue/) )

SS: (Ain't sure how much Pher's up and down for spillin the deets of, tho, so: (\oxo/) )

RS: | Haha | Yes | We Are | ! |

RS: | And Our Business is Hunting Down a Lair of Zombies | So Far | In Theory |

RS: | Currently | Our Lovely Guide is Reorienting Herself |

RS: | And I Think Her Mother is Eating Something | I am Trying Not to Look | Personally |

RS: | | I am Always Up for Spilling the Deets | I am Afraid |

RS: | I Scored Dreadfully on the Internet Safety Part of My Schoolfeeds | =:B |

SS: (I'm totes watchin! (\eue/) )

SS: (Fascinatin stuff, this.)

LP: Ooh.. :o >ooo<

LP: Sounds interesting. :) >ooo<

SS: (And LUL.)

SS: (Hey, Pher, I got one a'those fancy personality questionnaires for you!)

SS: (It tells you what kinda zed you identify with most based on your credit chit code.)

UV: What sort of zombies then, if you are so willing to share?

MH: Oh he's back.

MH: Glad to see you didn't die, RS.

RS: | Mm | Pass | Laledy | ! | But Thank You |

RS: | Perhaps You can Get One of Our Friendly Resident Chat Members to Fill That Out for You | =:B |

RS: | And | We are Looking for Cuckoo Zombies | ! |

RS: | But So Far | We have Just Found a Number of Floral Zombies |

MH: The hell are cuckoo zombies.

RS: | I have Been Taking Pictures | If You'd Like to See | =:) |

RS: | | And Of Course I didn't Die | Haha |

RS: | They are Victims of Parasitic Birdwasps | ! | Their Eggs Hatch Within Dead Bodies |

RS: | And Puppet Them Until They are Large Enough to Burst Free | Which Is | Oh |

RS: | Three or So Nights | ? |

RS: | They're Very Hard to Witness in the Wild | ! |

BB: Very hard. or no one wishes to Bother with getting insects Burrowed into their skin and horns.

BB: Hard to tell.

RS: | Adults Do Not Live This Far in the Desert |

RS: | They Need Plants to Pollinate | There are No Plants Worth Pollinating Out Here |

RS: | Have You Located the Stone Pillar Yet | By the Way | ? |

BB: Perhaps they are Busy working their day joBs. too. One might come home early. Similar to finding a quad mate in Bed with another.

RS: | | Are We the Quad Mate in This Metaphor | or the Bed | ? |

BB: Exactly.

RS: | Or | Wait | No |

RS: | Are We the Other | ? |

BB: The stone pillar is not too far away. yes.

BB: All I am trying to get across is that if there is adults. it will not Be happy with us going into its territory.

SS: (Well, that's what you've up and got walkstubs for, pal! (\eue/) )

RS: | | Oh | LP | ! | My Apologies | We have Tromped All Over Your Conversation | =:c |

SS: (And a talkbox, for your last words, ofc.)

BB: I would rather keep my walkBranches to remain walkBranches and not walkstuBs.

SS: (For that, pal, you're gonna hafta chat with the peeps what up and make dictionaries'n ish up.)

SS: (Or slang, whatevs.)

BB: I did not know that I would have to consult a dictionary to say that I wish to keep my limBs in tact.

SS: (Nah, pal, for that you'd hafta up and learn how jokes work! (\ouo/) )

RS: | Oh | Damn | I Think We Spooked Her Off |

RS: | | Somehow | Hahaha | Um |

RS: | Faizah | ! | You Worry | So Much | =:B |

RS: | Please | Relax | No One will Be Losing Limbs |

RS: | Not Even the Walkers |

RS: | Are You On Your Way Back Over | ? |

UV: Well if you did. I am still here. I was simply looking for a little more information on Cuckoo Zombies while you were occupied.

BB: I will Be Back soon enough. I am sure. I will also Be making sure that the only thing that does lose limBs is the walkers.

SS: (Yeah, pal, I totes wonder what did it?)

SS: (Bodysnatchin flapbugs what're up and puppeteerin peeps bods ain't made nobody queasy, like, ever. (\unu/) )

MH: Gross.

SS: (Soz, pal, didn't mean to give you internet cooties. (\unu/)

SS: (Leastways they ain't makin their waay outta here.)

BB: SS is an enjoyaBle fellow. in case you were wondering.

UV: The variety of species that parasitize trolls has always been rather fascinating, I thought. Of course, I have always done any observations from a distance.

SS: (Aww, pal, careful! You're gonna make my kokoro go doki doki. (\unu//) )

BB: See what I mean.

SS: (And hells yeah they are, pal!)

SS: (S'like a fun lottery system: erry time you think you're up and safe, boom! Turns out whatevs ish you're lookin at can totes be a parasite, too!)

RS: | Oh | If You are Interested | I can Stream Some of Our Expedition For You | ? |

RS: | It Doesn't Beat Real Observations | Of Course |

RS: | But If You are Interested | =:) |

SS: (I mean, like, if you up and think about it, we're parasites. Ain't like lusus naturae's the same species as you'n me.)

CC: eugh, yeah, fascinating. Tell that to all the jackwagons that get consumed in the deep woods.

CC: are you out hunting or something, RS?

UV: If it would not trouble you, Pheres. I would enjoy it. Thank you.

MH: Yup.

SS: (Well shit, pal, mb they're gettin all consumed-like on accounta they totes thought it was interestin nuff to see up and close-like. (\eue/) )

MH: He's hunting. Or something.

RS: | Or | Mm | Feisty |

BB: Looking at things from a giant miscroscope only makes them smaller. doesn't necissarily solve anything.

SS: (Dude, huntin's for losers that up and think they can make a dif with a machete and some spuunk.)

CC: lol, I mean I guess you don't get more front row than that.

SS: (Research's how you up and figure out how to load some weedkiller into a drone and clear a whole section a'the desert.)

CC: it's easier to just get rid of them, but-- oh you're in a desert pff.

CC: I had to get rid of them in the woods, there wasn't enough space in the buildings to move safely with them there, yadda yadda. So is it just a curiosity or-- huh

SS: (And, uh, BB, soz to say, but I think you need a crash course on what microscopes do.)

SS: (Spoiler alert: Makes ish bigger.)

RS: | Ah | A Reminder to Those Who Would Rather Not See | the Dead |

RS: | Say | CC | =:B | There is a Button in the Screen | You can Press | to Make the Image Go Away |

RS: | I am Not Clear Where the Button Is | But I am Certain It Is There | ! |

CC: I don't have a problem, what are you talking about?

SS: (I'm p sure you gotta, like, choose to join the call anyhow.)

RS: | Usually Trolls Who Have to Exterminate Walkers Aren't Interested in Seeing Them Up Close | ! | They Find It | Ah |

RS: | Bothersome | ? |

SS: (It's against their religion!)

CC: oh hell no. I said extermination made it easy to move not that that was my job

SS: (The religion is bein a weenie.)

CC: ^

RS: | I am Fairly Certain It is Against the Sun Cultists Religion to Murder Walkers |

RS: | Or Is That to Burn Them | ? | It's Something |

CC: I'm a salvager show walkers all you want

RS: | | But | Ah | Good | ! |

SS: (Oh, y, pal, ofc, ain't you in the know I'm a sun cultist now?)

SS: (I got a pamphlet from that chick what stopped our van and everythin.)

SS: (Apparently I might be a saint, too.)

SS: (Ain't too clear on that bit. Do white oculars count, or do I gotta be proper dead-like?)

XR: Oh, Pherrres

CC: okay but if this turns into a drink the koolaid fest I'm out, st. SS

XR: erXR: Pheres

SS: (Nah, pal, no kool-aid! Just zed spores. Take a vine erryone, won't hurt once it gets to your pan stem!)

SS: (Wow, that weren't suspect at all.)

RS has started up a call! He's.. clearly using his cellphone to record the desert night, and the audio's been muted. They're still in the sand dunes, by the rock formation - but he turns the camera to beam into it, briefly, and then zoom in on Lal, who's speaking to his phone a few feet away.

MH: What the fuck.

CC: pretty.

RS: alright

RS: this is now on voice to speech!

RS: um

RS: voice to text?

CC: ...not the jadeblood. The desert

RS: i think!

RS: hahaha

SS: (Heyo!) Laledy waves at the same time as he sends the message, clearly speaking into his mic.

SS: (Wtf, way to kill my ego.)

MH: Rude CC.

RS: laledy is fairly pretty, i think. there's no need to be unkind!

XR: ...anyway I'.m. nearly there, is what I wanted to tell you.

CC: okay but can you blame me. This entire chat swarms people for things like that.CC: had to clarify

SS: (At least some peeps up and appreciate real beauty!)

SS: (Insert dramatic sniff here.)

RS: marvelous!

SS: (LUL)

SS: (Nah, pal, too late, I'm cryin already. (\eue/) )

CC: how many people are joining you, RS?

CC: pffff lol

UV: Seems like quite the expedition team.

SS: (Enough to form our own miniature horde once we get wasted by zeds! (^_^/) )

MH: Keep the camera running.

MH: I wanna see it.

SS: (Insert thumbs up here!)

SS: (Make sure you up and put it up on grubtube!)

CC: aw continuing research even in the after death. "Do teams remain allied after infection and passing"

XR: no. we'd all be idiot zombies.

SS: (Y, XR, but we'd be idiot zombies 2gether 4ever.)

RS: and oh, look, here's miss cennef's hound. A blurry shot of an alarmingly huge canine. Its jaws are moving, but he keeps pulling the camera back towards the ears. Eugh.

RS: uv, she's eating a floral zombie, by the way. do you want a picture?

SS: (It's the team spirit! (\ouo/) )

CC: love that optimism

RS: ... you all are talking so much

RS: heavens, we're not getting wasted by zeds, laledy

RS: can you imagine the indignity

UV: A picture would be nice, thank you Pheres.

RS: these aren't even proper zombies

CC: is it safe for animals to eat those? I always thought it fucked them up

RS: alright

-- XR has put on her own voice to text, and took her own picture of Pheres from sitting on her giant fennec fox/horned toad lusus --

SS: (I know, pal, I just thought BB needed some help w that wish fulfillment!)(edited)

XR: two can play at that

XR: anyway, I brought the zombie bait

RS: hahaha

RS: you take a picture of the zomb

RS: excellent!

XR: it smells horrid but then again, what else would it smell like

CC: sunshine and daisies

XR: sunshine smells like burning and death

XR: and some of them do have daisy strains I hear

CC: Chanel no.5(edited)

RS: but daisies smell delightful, presumably, to make up for it

UV: XR has a fair point.

XR: a little too delightful

XR: some of them snag you that way

XR: which is why I also brought masks

RS: ah, my apologies, uv

RS: i don't think i'm going to get very close to her lusus

XR: I know they're hideous but put them on

RS: how far did you say this was?

RS: they're cumbersome

SS: (Wtf is these double standards?)

SS: (I mean, I'm totes down for a mask, this ish looks totes badass and post-apocalyptic, but, like, pal.)

XR: if you get silly-panned by some floral scenter, you can't even come crying to me because that's probably the last thing you'll ever do

RS: and we're not dealing with psychogenic on- oh!

RS: you're incredibly silly

RS: but fine

XR: is smell it and lose yourself

RS: pass me a mask

XR: mask passed

XR: oh wait

XR: must document

SS: (LUL)

SS: (Dude, we can... figure that out.)

-- TOO LATE, he's already holding out his camera to take a begrudging picture of his face with the filtration mask on. --(edited)

SS: (Uh.)

SS: (Duct tape, mb?)

-- XR has posted a picture of Laledy and Pheres in their masks --

XR: dammit

RS: smiley face

RS: haha

XR: you rob me of my glory

XR: how could you

UV: You all look like a proper zombie observation team now.

XR: all right, what's your strife

RS: oh

RS: thank you!

XR: I have a few firebombs, but I'd rather not use them

XR: they go up quick, even when there's not much to burn

SS: (Cutting sarcasm!)

RS: my amazing good looks?

RS: hahaha

XR: you're both hopeless

RS: you're being silly, cennef

SS: (Also a taser, a sword, and a wacking stick.)

XR: your hair isn't a weapon, Pheres

RS: come along! let's just get moving

XR: lovely as it is

XR: what, are you crazy? I haven't even told you what to watch or listen for

XR: hold on a moment

XR: remember, these are cuckoo zombies you wanted to see

XR: they don't behave like other ones

SS: (Idk, pal, I'm p sure he could eat me with that ish if he tried hard enough.)

XR: and god help me if you provoke them, we all have to run for it like giant spotted meowbeasts

SS: (Nah, pal, I only provoke peeps!)

XR: because they might burst prematurely

XR: and come after us all like avenging furies

XR: so we all have to be very quiet and lightfooted. They don't see well, being larvae, but since there's so many of them in one host their sense of touch is excellent.

SS: (Shit, pal, and here I was up and hyped to go hug one!)

XR: would that I were so lucky

XR: anyway, they tend to hide in hives, all curled up and waiting to gestate, unless they're hunting

XR: hence bait

SS: (Wow, you really know how to woo a guy!)

SS: (On pitch week, too. (\unu/) )

XR: Pheres why is he here

XR: no don't answer that

RS: hahaha

RS: for his stunning reparte

RS: obviously

RS: ah! no, sorry, was looking at this

XR: regardless, they should all be curled up before we get to them, but just in case one isn't, you might not see it at first. sometimes they hide in sand dunes instead of rocks. but, if one IS hidden there - what

XR: what are you looking at

RS has wandered a bit far off from the crowd! The camera's been focused on a section of stone for the past few minutes - it finally pulls away to show.. he's been sticking his arm into a crack. Alright.

SS: (Uh.)

He pulls it out a moment later, victorious, and holding what looks to be a bone.

RS:

RS: hmm

RS: never mind, not worth looking at

XR: PHERES WHAT THE HELL

SS: (Y'know that thing we were up and talkin bout with branches and stubs afore?)

XR: YOU COULD HAVE BEEN BITTEN ON THE ARM

SS: (Oh, nm, XR's got it in capslock, nm.)

XR: YOU ARE VERY LUCKY NOTHING WAS DOWN THERE

RS:

RS: cennef

RS: how small do you feel zombies get

XR: well Pheres I know it may stun you

XR: but there are dangers besides zombies

XR: like scorpion lizards

XR: however I assumed that was covered by common sense

XR: also, there could have been unattached larva down there

XR: where do you think they come from in the first place

RS: an oviposter, presumably, but clearly i was misguided

SS: (Storks!)

RS: a stork's oviposter

RS: hahaha

XR: uuuuuugh gods help me

SS: (HAH)

XR: if you are QUITE DONE being recklessXR: let's go toward the main hiveXR: and keep an eye out for florals or fungals, zombies aren't smart enough to have territory boundaries(edited)XR: so even though separate types usually won't horde together, that doesn't mean they don't stray

RS: yes, yes, right

SA: dude

XR: all right, we all need to keep our voices low

RS is not a cameraman, obviously! The footage of the stream keeps shaking as he trails behind Cennef's foxmom, and it keeps shifting away from the desert stretching out in front of them to capture things he thinks are even slightly interesting. A strangely shaped rock! Sand! A scorpion that he carefully kicks with his boot, and then scampers abruptly to the other side of foxmom when it raises its stinger in response.

XR: it's not noise, but vibration

RS: ah RS: yes

XR: you're lucky she eats those

SA: this is either the sickest shit I've ever seen or the dumbest fucking ide@ @nyone's had like ever

XR: there she goes

RS: lay out the bait now so i can catch it on camera?

XR: well I'm sure she's glad for the snack

RS: it is asolutely both, sa

SS: (Omg this is my favorite lusus now.)

RS: hahaha RS: smiley face

XR: you are both dumb and I want you to know that

SA: h@h@h@

XR: in case I die because one of you gets me killed

SS: (She eats stingerbugs AND she ain't eatin me!)

XR: yes, here's the bait, have fun with it.XR: and by that I mean set it out and then we're all retreating.

SS: (Is the bait me?)

XR: at least twenty feet.XR: no, you don't smell enough.

SS: (I'm startin to get mildly concerned about that, ngl/)

SS: (Oh, shit, a compliment!)

XR: it's this rotting meat.

SS: (My pusher ain't right broken yet after all!)

RS: i don't know if that's a compliment

SA: gross

RS: to be frank

SS: (Pher, quit tryin to crush my dreams, aight?)

RS: my apologies

RS: that was cruel and unneccessarily callous of me

XR: you have none because there are none with me involved.

XR: end of story

RS: you absolutely do not smell as much as this rotting meat

SS: (I'm glad you're a big enough person to acknowledge that, Pheres.)

RS: and that is a compliment

RS: hahaha

RS: here, hold the camera

SS: (And ofc I've up and got dreams w you, Cennef!)

SS: (They're the ones where Pher ain't here and you sacrifice me to zeds.)

RS: ah

RS: hold my phone

XR: yes, have him hold it, and then back away

Laledy takes the phone, orienting it at where he hears Pheres. It's somewhat off-angle, but gets most of the scene.

XR: I have Foxmom in case they swarm us but she can really only carry two trolls, even light as the pair of you are(edited)

Or, at least it gets most of the scene when Laledy isn't delightedly filming whatever foxmom is doing at any given moment. There is at least one candid of her yawning, with a dramatic zoom of her teeth.

XR: if you're that desperate I'll send you videos, my gods

XR: this is silly

SS: (I deffo ain't believin you, but whatevs, pal, we'll film this fascinatin ish instead.)

Insert closeup of the rotting meat, pointedly, before Laledy gives in to his actual scientific interests and films the presumed ZOMBIE LAIR.

SA: eewewwww

SA: show us the de@d ppl(edited)

XR: I will because this is just pathetic and also off - there we go

The camera sort of catches Pheres fussing extraordinarily over the meat. It is rotting. It has flies. For all that the audio isn't on, it's not hard to tell he's displeased.

XR: all right. we all need to be quiet.

He drops it --

XR: back up Pheres

XR: now

SS: (Uhhhhhhh)

XR: come back to us

SS: (Uhhhhhhhhhhh)

The screen goes white in a crackle of static, then clears as the light clears.

SA: oh shit is he getting m@uled

XR: stop fussing over the damn meat

RS: shhh i'm moving

RS: moved!

SS: (OW)

RS: you were rushing me!

XR: ugh that was loud

SS: (WHERE)

RS: you're fine!

UV: Well then.

XR: Laledy, back up with me, that might draw a rush

SS: (SURE I'M FINE, PAL, TOTES FINE.)SS: (Where are you?)(edited)

XR: can you feel my arm?

SS: (Uh-) There is some fumbling of the camera, and it's now pointed halfway at the ground.

SS: (Yeah.)(edited)

XR: pity about the footage but I'm not about to get us killed over it

XR: oh

XR: there's one

SS: (Where?)

XR: just peeking up, I see the horns and - oh

SS: (Insert more question noodles.)

XR: there's larva in the sockets

SS: (Insert more capslock.)

XR: most of the scentsponge is eaten too

SA: eeeeewwwwwwwwww

RS: oh, wow, this is amazing

SA: rs you're fucking nuts

RS: hahaha

RS: this is for science, i'll have you know

Lal fumbles the camera again, and it points vaguely in Pheres's direction.

RS: oh, wait

RS: you can't -- mm

XR: aaaaand another - and well that's just great

RS: give me that

SA: @nd presum@bly getting ur zombie rocks off

RS: wha

RS: no one is getting their rocks off

XR: there's a fungus coming and it looks it's been out here a hundred sweeps

XR: look at that growth

SS: (Love to. (\qnq/) )

SS: (Unfort Pheres is a jerk.)

The screen is back to a steady image as Pheres points it at the zombie in question. It's got purple fungus growing everywhere. And: yes, it's gross.

RS: you were rushing me

RS: that is the tragic result of rushing me

-- Cennef takes a photo of a somewhat blurry due to distance but magnificently orange fungal zombie absolutely covered in the stuff, with shreds of clothing over it --

RS: i actually move

SA: gross

SA: grooooooossssss

XR: ...okay so there's two

XR: excellent

SA: eugh does it smell

UV: Well that is quite the sight. And... Double the trouble.

SA: it looks like it smells

SS: (Yeah, pal, like sunshine and daisies. (\eue/) )

XR: fungals don't smell usually

RS: can you see it clearly

RS: uv?

XR: PHERES

SS: (Wow, pal, way to kill my pun!)

XR: I SEE THREE MORE CUCKOOS

SS: (What?)

RS: oh

RS: hm

XR: I HEAR THEM BUZZING

RS: maybe you should get on your mother

SS: (Pal, can you yell that in a way that is less mortally terrifyin??)

SA: oh shit

XR: and - no, damn you

XR: I'm taking care of the fungals, one minute, try not to die or upset the cuckoos.

RS: oh

RS: no, don't - just

RS: stay with laledy

SS: (Uh. Uh.)

RS: and i will take care of the fungals

SS: (I'm gonna stand here and not move at all.)

RS: that does seem a little wise

RS: just

RS: ah

RS: hold still

-- XR swiftly runs around and throws a firebomb at each fungal, because she knows full well those spores are very insidious and deadly and luckily both burn -- (edited)

XR: no, if those had gotten any closer we would be in spore range.

XR: too risky.

SS: (Oh, shit, I can see that at least.)

SS: (Wtf, are you tryin to burn the whole place down?)

XR: also it distracted the cuckoos, they're blind but not that blind.

XR: there's nothing around them.

XR: it won't last.

SS: (P sure they're less blind than me atm, tbh.)

SS: (Fwiw, I am totes never lettin this ish go. (\qnq/) )

XR: good for you

XR: it'll mean you're alive

SS: (This was gonna be so cool.)

SS: (Take good vids!)

SS: (Since I'ma have to rewatch later.)

SA: ...you're blind @nd you went zombie hunting?

RS: um

RS: it's a metaphor

RS: hahaha

-- XR takes a vid of herself staring disapprovingly before swinging at Pheres and the approaching zombies --

XR: ...Pheres

SS: (Pheres blinded me, on accounta his psi is effin bright af.)

XR: don't move

RS: i will move in a moment

SS: (Everythin's spots and ish.)

RS: don't worry

MH: This is the stupidest fucking zombie expedition I've ever seen.

XR: there's a fern zombie approaching

SA: oh ok

SS: (Pal, can we not make this a sitch where you get up and rushed again?)

MH: One of you are gonna get bit, or killed.

XR: and it doesn't look quite as shambling as the cuckoos

XR: who are quite enjoying the meat, at least

MH: Anyone wanna take bets on someone getting hurt.

XR: but I think they'll finish it soon

RS: no one is going to get bit

RS: for heaven's sake

RS: you will have to lose your bet, mh

MH: I said hurt, not necessarily bit.

MP: so uh

MH: Self harm counts because you're all throwing around fire bombs.

RS: did you

RS: heave-- hahaha

XR: That was me and that was for safety.

SS: (Hey, I'm totes offended!)

SS: (Cennef's throwin round -y, zacly.)

SS: (I'm too flammable for that ish.)

XR: the only thing Laledy throws are his words.

XR: which are annoying enough.

MP: dudes r hunting zeds?

SS: (Nah, pal! We're up and makin friends with em!)

MP: streaming too damn badass

SS: (Look, Pher's gonna up and hug that one!)

RS: yes

RS: thank you

XR: clearly we are cuddling up to them, as Laledy suggested

RS: finally someone appreciates it

RS: hahaha

MP: hey I'm paying you compliments here

XR: I'm a bit preoccupied with ensuring Pheres doesn't die

SS: (Or kill me. (\unu/) )

MP: defs do that dude

XR: well thank you for your suggestion

XR: how could I live without it

MP: dying fuckin sucks do not do that

XR: wow, you shock me

MP: v helpful advice I know lol

XR: however would I cope.

SS: (Shit, pal, way to ruin my plans for the night!)

SS: (How tf'm I supposed to spend my Sat now?)

XR: wait

SS: (I ain't made plans for Sunday!)

XR: wait no

MH: Who wants to lay down 50 caegers as the starting bet.

SS: (For what, how long its gonna be afore MH stages dramatic life insurance fraud schemes on all their friends?)

MH: 50 caegers on someone getting getting hurt but that's a good one too.

SA: I'll fucking take it

MH: I'll keep that scheme in mind when I make friends.

MH: 50 caeger starting bid! Who are you betting on getting hurt first?

SS: (I'm puttin 100 on 'way too long - okay, nm, pal, I was gonna make a joke bout you ain't havin none but then you up and just made it sad.)SS: (At least be, like, miffed that you're forever alone.)(edited)

MH: Nah I'm good.

XR: PHERES BEHIND YOU

SA: probs the jade tbh

RS: oh goddamnit

SA: no wait

XR: WE'RE GOING GET OVER HERE

MH: Too late, bid casted.

XR: TELEPORT

SA: d@mn

SS: (Y, pal, on accounta the jade's the one what's up and stickin his fronds into rock cracks.)

SS: (And huggin zeds.)

XR: oh fuck oh damn oh hell

SS: (Wtf???)

MH: Oh shit.

SA: ye@h I w@s @bout to ch@nge my d@mn bid

SS: (Can someone like narrate???)

MH: What's going on over there?

Good thing the audio's turned off! Because the phone's abruptly a mess of static, jerky screen, and then - white again.

XR: hhhhhhh

XR: okay it's down

XR: we need to go

BB: I would hate to be the person who would have to utter this statement.

XR: Laledy get on Foxmom I'm just going to have to chance it

BB: But I told you so.

XR: we're all light

SS: (I hate lits everything oh my god.)

MP: oh fucking shit

MH: Did someone get hurt?

XR: it'll be slow but I have two firebombs left GO GO GO

The stream turns off!

XR: SHE'S LYING DOWN GET ON HER

MP: oh shit

MH: I think someone got a zed on them(edited)

SA: did I win the bet

SS: (Y, SA, I'm totes dead.)

MP: ohhh boy oh no

SS: (This is me confirmin from beyond the grave.)

BB: Unfortunately. SS is not dead.

MH: Who got hit.

XR: PHERES PSIJUMP

SA: ty SS

SS: (That I am extra double blind now.)

XR: TELEPORT

MH: ....Shit.

XR: COME ON

MH: I think Pheres got a zed on him.

MP: ????? If he can teleport what the fuck is he doing

XR: I NETTED IT HE NEEDS TO MOVE

SA: d@ng it!

MH: Maybe he got hurt?

SA: I should@ ch@nged my bid

MH: Like really hurt.

BB: The excess narriration is doing nothing aBout the current circumstance and is only adding excess annoyance to my part.

MP: that's not a good thing dude not even a little

MH: Sucks to be you BB.

XR: ughhhhhhhh

BB: I would concur with that statement.

MH: Glad we're on the same page.

RS:

RS: / alright / ! /

RS: / no one wins a bet /

RS: / i am perfectly alive / or whatever you were betting on /

XR: you need a mediculler

RS: / perfectly fine /

RS: / and alive /

SS: (Can we go back to narratin?)

XR: you won't be if you don't get assistance

MP: what happened dude!

XR: I can't treat that and I don't think anybody in Port Mina can

BB: Which limB do I need to cut off.

XR: fuck off we aren't cutting off limbs yet

MH: But did you get HURT RS?

XR: will you all just shut up with your stupid speculations this is serious

MP: those infections get deadly intense tho

RS: / it's not serious /

XR: YES THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELPFUL INPUT

MH: RS is hurt.

RS: / calm down / cennef /

MH: I knew it.

XR: it's not right now but it could well be and it needs to be taken care of

RS: / it does not even qualify as hurt /

XR: yes it does

MH: I knew someone was going to get hurt.

RS: / i will take care of it at my hive /

XR: do not argue with me, you need treatment

SA: d@mn it

XR: no

XR: you need professional treatment or you will become a fern zombie

XR: you're VERY LUCKY that's a small wound

SA: oh shiiit

XR: but it will spread

MP: def do not do that

BB: I do Believe. even if that is true. that adding more shout poles to the pile will not solve the matter any faster.

BB: We should resort to action. and not yelling over one another.

XR: why yes thank you for being so terribly helpful as if I am not trying to think about what to do right now, however would I cope without the lot of you idiots yapping at me

MP: maybe put the chat down?

XR: Pheres who's your mediculler

XR: or no

XR: turning off voice to text now

RS: / it will be fine /

RS: / take a deep breath / cennef /

RS: / and / ah / - /

RS: / / yes / haha /

BB: So, I do Believe that we shall be making an expressed detour at the next convenient step. I will not say anything more until the injured can come Back to his senses.

MP: I mean I don't think they'll talk to each other here if they all know each otherMP: and are like in the same placeMP:MP: do they do that often

AE: Hello.

MH: Welcome to the shit show.

MH: Some fucks went and bothered zombies and someone got bit.

MH: Or scratched. I don't know.

AE: Do. Not. Touch. Zombies. That. Is. A. Bad. Idea.

AE: Don't. Do. That.

MH: You came in like an hour too late to say that.

AE: Undead. Saliva. Is. A. Primary. Source. Of. Various. Infections. Including. But. Not. Limited. To. Acute. Skinrot.

MH: Again, an hour too late.

AE: I. Was. Not. Here. One. Hour. Ago.

#c: cennef #c: pheres #c: laledy #c: faizah

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