#also had to open my tabs wider than I normall would

[spotlightstudios]

Writing an essay and just typed "eyepads" instead of "Ipads" lmao-

This says something about me, but I couldn't tell you what... Anyways, if I finish these I can stop feeling stressed for a hot minute and just vibe. And Vibe usually equates to Drawing/Writing so wish me luck!

[dollediary]

I Could Make You Feel Better.

jake x fem!reader

overview: female masturbation, dry humping, mutual masturbation(?)

word count: 2.6k

not proof read, so don't mind typos or grammatical errors too much <3

"seriously?!" jake asked you in disbelief. you nodded shyly, feeling your cheeks heat up while he only made a face. "i don't believe it, y/n."

"im serious!" you protested. it may have been hard to believe, but it was true. "really..... i've never...touched myself before," your voice was low as you looked away.

"so let me get this straight. you let me touch you before you could even touch yourself?" he asked, bringing up the time you let him play with you when you two went to the movie theater.

it was a time frame where you two were taking your first steps toward being sexually intimate in public, for the thrill of it, though it was more so for fun rather than something you planned on really getting into.

you shrugged, making him look at you crazy. you guys had done many things in terms of being sexual together such as watching porn together on rave, sexting, sending nudes, etc.

all those times, he's made it clear that he masturbates to and because of you.... he had assumed you did the same. it was a shock to him.

"what?" you laughed, looking at him while he was silent in thought. he had so many questions, so many words he wanted to say but he didn't know how to.

"so do i like... not make you horny or...?" he let his question trail off as he bit his bottom lip, feeling embarrassed to even ask in the first place. you smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"of course i get horny, dumbass," you rolled your eyes."if i didn't enjoy it, i wouldn't keep doing it with you. i like how wet you make me," you responded though he still didn't understand. he sat up properly on the bed and scooted closer to you.

"what do you do to please yourself, then???" jaeyun was an avid masturbator. he probably became more addicted to it after the two of you started sending nudes to each other.

he went from various tabs on pornhub, xvideos, etc., to only relieving himself to your pictures and videos... which really amplified the results. to think you haven't done the same with him is crazy.

"i thought what we did was pleasure on its own, i never really felt the need to do anything more," you shrugged, crossing your legs. he looked at you and licked his lips.

"you should try it, and use the videos i sent you while you're at it," he said, biting his bottom lip. you nodded slightly and picked your phone up to look at the time.

"i should get going, don't like leaving the pet home alone too long," you said, getting up from his bed, he nodded and got up with you walking behind you to the door.

he gave you a kiss before you left and continued thinking about the conversation you two just had as he walked back to his room. needless to say, he let his mind and hand wander.

-

you and jaeyun were laying down on his bed watching t.v. the two of you hadn't been doing anything special, and frankly you were still sweaty from a hot day at work.

you would've showered sooner, but he insisted you lay with him as a "sorry" for being too busy working overtime to spend time with him.

hating the fact that you had been basically sitting in your own filth for maybe the past thirty minutes, you decided to get up and shower. "you got some clothes i can put on?" you asked.

"yeah, go ahead. i'll have em at the bottom of the bed for you," he said not even looking at you...too indulged in the screen i guess. you nodded and grabbed your phone as you made your way into the bathroom.

when you got in there, you undressed yourself, ran a bubble bath, and put a towel out to use when you were done. you went to grab your phone to turn on some music, looking at your wallpaper that was a picture you took of him.

...maybe i should try now? you thought to yourself. you locked the door quietly and slipped into the steamy tub opening your locked images in your gallery going to the folder you made of his pics and vids.

you went to one of his most recent nut videos he sent you, when you guys were exchanging nudes, and played it. your eyes watched intently, trying to take in everything that was going on as if you were seeing it for the first time.

you watched as his hand slowly stroked his cock in an up and down motion, tightening once it was at the top and such. you turned the volume up to hear his small grunts and shaky breaths he let out as he kept going.

you felt a small electric in your stomach and took your free hand to take a quick swipe down to see you were getting wet. you opened your legs, deciding to just get it out the way. and thank god jake loved filming long videos.

you used your finger to turn the volume up more as you let your hand trail down to your clit as you started rubbing slow circles to match the pace he was going. your breathing became irregular as you sped up to keep up with him.

your body, wanting to climax when he does, started forming a knot in your stomach as you felt yourself start shaking. seeing from the video, he was shaking and getting louder, ready to bust.

you bit your lip and kept his speed up feeling yourself getting ready to cum, his hand started shaking the same way yours were as his semen spit out with every stroke he made, though he stopped after a few.

you kept going, closing your eyes as you forced your high out to its fullest extent, twitching more as you bit your lip harder. after a few more seconds of that, you stopped and pulled your hand away feeling the last seconds of pleasure left behind.

you let your breathing go back to normal as you looked at the remainder of the video, which was jake turning the camera around to give you a corny ass smile with a thumbs up.

you rolled your eyes and exited out of your gallery, putting your phone aside as you watched yourself up completely. after you finished, you got out of the tub and wrapped yourself up, walking out the bathroom to see jake had put some clothes for you to wear at the bottom of the bed.

you unfolded the towel and dried yourself off while he watched you intently from his spot. you looked over to him and smiled as he quickly looked away, biting his lip.

you finished getting dressed and laid down next to him on the bed, burying your face into his side. "you smell good," you mumbled into his shirt. he hummed in response.

"pay attention to me, jaeyun...i did it," you mumbled again. he turned to look down at you to see you had a cheeky smile on your face as you looked back up at him.

"did what?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. your smile only grew wider as you closed your eyes thinking back to that amazing feeling you felt, though you couldn't recreate it to its fullest extent.

"i masturbated~" you sang out. "and to that video you sent last week, it felt so good. i think i overstimulated, too," you continued, though he didn't seem to care so much. he only responded with a shrug and looked back to the t.v.

"how do you know if you really came, though?" he laughed, not even looking your way. you furrowed your eyebrows as you removed yourself from him, sitting up to look at him crazy.

"uh- i'm pretty sure i know what it feels like," you argued, feeling defensive about it. what you just experienced couldn't be you assuming you came. "it's the same way you would know."

"i don't think you have," jake persisted, sitting up. he placed his hands on your ass as he pulled you up onto his lap. you looked away from him feeling annoyed with how he was acting.

he took your turned head as an opportunity to start kissing on your neck. you closed your eyes, humming. but you realized what he was doing and quickly bit your lip as you opened your eyes again. "i think i know my body more than you do, asshole."

"don't get smart with me," his accent and deepened voice grumbled against your skin, making you shiver. he started biting down on your skin, leaving hickeys. you didn't protest and wrapped your arms around his neck.

"i don't...like you doubting...me," you breathed out, losing track of your thoughts as your body decided to focus more on what he was doing to you.

he wasn't just leaving love bites on your neck, he was also itching his way up your bare thigh and as he rubbed circles, it made you wet in no time. "i'm not. im just not really sure you know what that is."

"even if you do, don't you think i could make you feel better?" you couldn't decide whether you loved or hated what his choice of tone was doing to you. you always loved his accent, and how he deepened his voice when he wanted to get something out of you... but this is the time you stand your ground against him.

and it's a fight you were losing because of how easily he could seduce you. "...no," you managed to get out, making his movements stop for a second before he continued what he was doing.

he didn't say anything, but he grabbed your chin in-between his index finger and thumb forcing you to look him in the eyes. you wanted to melt under his gaze, but before you could react he pulled you into a kiss not wasting anytime, basically attacking your lips.

he wouldn't even let you get a breath of air, pulling you back into the kiss with his hand on the back of your neck, forcefully, only letting you breathe when he himself needed to. he slid his hand up your shirt making you shiver at how cold it was against your skin.

he pulled away from the kiss, only to place his tongue along your jawline, licking up to your ears leaving kisses. his hand was now massaging your breast, pinching your nipple every now and then. you mentally thanked yourself for not putting a bra on.

his lips met yours again as you allowed his tongue to slip in, swirling around yours as you sucked on his every now and then. he pulled away and looked you in the eyes out of breath before he immediately

his hands were feeling all over your clothed body. "i'm gonna take this off," he breathed into your ear, tugging at the end of your shirt, making you nod as you lifted your arms up to make it easier for him to take it off of you.

his mouth immediately found its way to suck on your left breast, as he squeezed the other one with his hand. you hummed, biting your lip as you felt your hand go down to play with the hem of your panties.

you slipped your hand in, making your way down to your clit to relieve some of the throbbing. but before you could start rubbing, jake snatched your hand out. he unlatched his mouth from you before he grabbed your chin the way he did before, except more roughly. "stop being needy, i'm gonna give you what you want."

you smiled and nodded, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks from the way he handled you. this time, he kept your chin in his hold only changing it to hold with his four fingers, using his thumb to rest on your lip. "open," he said, pulling your bottom lip down. you did as you were told, opening your mouth a little, though he didn't seem to be pleased by it since he used his thumb to open it more.

"stick your tongue out," he whispered, biting his lip, not bothering to move his thumb as your tongue lay on top of it. first he gave you open mouth kisses, moving with his tongue to be on top of yours before the both of you closed your mouths to finish the kiss.

it was a lovely sound and feeling, making you get wetter by the minute. you especially grew weak in the knees when he added tongue sucking into the combo as he continued. you moved your hips forward as you tried to scoot closer to him to break the distance between your bodies, earning a groan into the kiss from him.

"fuck, keep doing that," he said, moving. his hands to place them firmly on your waist, helping your movement. he threw his head back as you repositioned yourself on his left thigh, enjoying the feeling of his erection in his basketball shorts on your clit.

by now you were more than soaked, and from all the teasing and stalling he had done, you were ready to climax. "jaeyun, i'm gonna cum," you breathed out, speeding up your speed, ready to finally cum. he, knowing he wasn't near his yet, only closed his eyes and nodded.

"cum for me, baby," his grip on your waist tightenedto keep you steady as you kept riding his thigh, feeling your breathing speed up as a knot formed in your stomach. after a few more seconds of that, you finally felt the high hit, sending electric chills all over your body.

jake french kissed you while lifting you up so he could quickly pull his shorts and boxers down before placing you back down. soon enough, you were back on his (now naked) thigh, his dick being between your thighs, his hands on your hips, moving at a quick but steady pace.

you couldn't hold back your moans as jake forced you to keep going, pushing you down on his erection more, then resorting to lifting you up enough so that he could hump you easier. feeling himself come closer to his climax, he took you off his lap, before kneeling in between your legs, stroking himself while looking you directly in the eyes.

you didn't hesitate to reach your hand up to his cock to help him finish, but he only moved it away shaking his head. "i wanna nut on your face," he said, making you get wet again. you nodded and stayed still, seeing that was really all you could do since he looked close.

his eyes fighting so hard to stay open as he continued, he finally started spurting out semen while letting out a throaty moan. it landed on your tits, some landed on your lips, even some on your eyelashes and forehead. he stroked himself a few more times, before he stopped from the pain of overstimulation.

when he got his breathing back to a norm, he quickly went to get a towel to clean up the mess, leaving you sitting there. you wiped some of the cum off your eyes, then licked the cum that happened to land on your lips.

when he came back, he wiped off the excess, laying beside you. though you both were sweaty and gross, you both had an unspoken agreement to just wash up in the morning. he turned to you with his signature smile. "now wasn't that better than before?"

you rolled your eyes at him. in all honesty, you forgot all about what happened earlier. so, sadly jake ended up winning the 'argument'. looking everywhere but his eyes, you reluctantly nodded. "yeah. you win this time i guess."

"YES!" he said, smiling wider. he pulled you closer to his chest, kissing the top of your head. "it's okay, baby. we both knew i would win in the end."

[wthcew]

JayTim, flirting, falling in love and cuddles and JJ Tim who gor adopted by Harley and Ivy pretty please??

Sweetie, you just jumped on my train of JJ fics, I hope you don't mind that I added a little bit of smut

I'm so sorry it took me that long to write it, I hope you like it!

_____________________________________________

30 days

_____________________________________________

The first time he heard about it he was under the ground. He felt like he was choking, his helmet somewhere unknown and with it his communication with Oracle. He isn't talking to B (not after he chose the fucking Joker over him) but he does help Nightwing sometimes, and oh, did he wished right now that he would have never let Dick in his safehouse.

Nightwing and Red Hood were about to bust a drag ring, but the thing is, it was an ambush, so now they're both under ground, Hood's leg impaled to the ground by an iron pillar from one of the walls that exploded and that they're buried under, his helmet in an unknown place and 'wing trying to call for help.

Jason tried to slow his breath but being under ground is bringing back bad memories (He can't breathe, he's locked, and all he want right now is his dad-) of being six feet under and he's hysterical- because everything is hurting and broken and half his face are burned and he can't breathe so please, please he just want his dad, "please dad come save me"-

He's so gone into his mind, letting his panic control him that he's flinching away when Dick touching his shoulder, but it's pulling him out of his head (and just when did the tears started to spill out of his eyes?), and Dick is looking at him, the whites lenses of his domino mask are gone and instead Jason's getting those blue eyes that are full with concern.

"It's okay Jay" Dick smiled at him, a small smile that somehow made Jason believe that it's okay. "B and baby bat are on their way right now," Dick's hand found Jason's and he squeezed it in reassuring. Jason returned the squeeze. "We will be fine"

...

"Did someone ever told you about the kid who almost killed Joker?" Dick asked after couple minutes of silence, when Jason's breath is under control and he isn't so much as hysterical as he was couple of minutes before.

Jay turned his head to Dick, "No" his voice was hoarse, too hoarse for his own ears but Dick didn't seems to mind, he just nodded his head and smiled softly at him.

"He was thirteen years old back then, Joker took him, when Babs still was Batgirl" And at that moment Dick's comn beeped and after five minutes they were out of the ground, Bruce and Damian next to Dick, checking if he's fine while Jason took his helmet, the hole in his leg isn't that bad and when Dick looking at him the Red Hood already swing away.

_____________________________________________

The second time he heard about it was because he wanted to, he was curious and he wanted to know what happened to the kid, what made a thirteen years old kid almost kill the Joker.

So, he was on his couch, his leg bandaged and a cup of hot tea on the coffe table, his laptop open and working and the reading lamp's orange light made his shadow look like some villain from kids cartoon.

It's hard to find anything about it but he is (A bat) Red Hood, if he wants to he'll find out what happened back then. And he want to.

So Jason cracked his fingers and started to work.

The seconds became to minutes that became to hours of work and clicking on his keyboard, it's hard to find anything because apparently this whole story is shushed and all Jason gathered until now came from a video of the news report and all they said there was that Joker broke out of Arkham and decided he wanted a son, kidnapped some unlucky kid and deleted the boy's personality with electrical shocks until he becamed Joker Junior, and then he kept torturing the kid until the Batman and Batgirl found the kid, broken minded and holding a gun to Joker's head.

It was quite the story, but Jason didn't know what happened later, who the kid was or what happened to him.

But he will, just to know if the kid's okay. Or to ask why he hadn't pulled the trigger..

So he kept digging, looking for anything that may conect to the story. And that's how Jason found himself reading article about Jack and Jent Drake disowning their only child Tim Drake. The kid was only thirteen back then, and all he took before he took off from the face of earth was a stuffed Kola and a camra.

And it may be his curiosity about this because he don't remember the kid and apparently they were neighbors or the JJ thing but he knows that he'll find Tim Drake.

_____________________________________________

Jent Drake died two years after she disowned Tim in a car crash, her husband got depressed and started looking for Tim to reown him but then he met Dana Winters.

There was some love story there that Jason wasn't really that interested in reading but in the end they married and left Gotham, never coming back. And the most annoying thing is, that Tim was never found.

But he did found out that there was some kid that helped Harley and Ivy sometimes, he had a faded red hoodie and faded green jeans.

The hoodie's hat always hiding his face and from the little Jason saw, his skin was more white than normal human skin.

Jason couldn't find a lot of photos of the kid but he did find one of Harley hugging the kid.

Jason looked at the photo, it was fuve years old, when Tim desperate and all the JJ thing happened. The way he held himself was familiar to Jason, something deep in his mind, memories that he couldn't remember, but it was there, and Jason knows that this Tim kid is JJ who is also somehow Harley's kid.

_____________________________________________

"I need your help"

"Oh that's nice, what aby 'hey Babs, how was your day? Did Dick pissed you off and going to sleep on the couch tonight? Can you please help me with this thing?'"

Jason smiled, shifting the phone that was pressed against his ear "What did Dick did?"

"He was a dick"

"How was your day?"

"What did you wanted help with Jay?"

"Clown boy"

"Hmm?"

"Joker Junior"

A sharp breath "What about him?"

"You know who he is?"

"We found him after he took a dip in the acid, and he was dressed like the Joker, too much make up, green hair, purple suit, couldn't recognise him"

"But you know don't you?"

"Batman doesn't know"

"Well you're Oracle not Batman. It's simple question O, you know? Yes or no?"

"I know"

"I think I know too"

"Who do you think it is?"

"Tim Drake"

"..Yes it's him"

"Why didn't you told Bruce?

"He's a good kid"

"He's with Harley now"

"Tim isn't bad"

"Babs, if he's Joker Junior and he's with Harley he can't be that good"

"Jay, Harley and Ivy gave me the tip to find him and Harley took him in after his parents disowned him, he may be stilling sometimes or helping Harley and Ivy but he is good"

"You kept tabs on him?"

"He's smart, he may have lost a lot of his memories because of the Joker and he is crazy but he have support"

"Does Bruce know you're helping hiding him?"

"No, and he wouldn't. Not until Tim decided that it's fine"

"You're in contact?"

"We're just talking, I'm sending him puzels and riddles and it's helping him keep clean mind"

"Can I talk to him?"

"I can't tell you where he is but I also can't stop you from doing this"

"Thank you Babs"

"Not a problem Jaybird"

_____________________________________________

It was a week later that Jason walked into a small unnoticed coffee shop.

The design of the place gave him a feeling of happiness, like it was some kind of home.

He looked through everyone there, couple next to the window, three old ladies sitting in a table for four, chatting and laughing, couple of collage students sitting with something to eat and something warm to drink and typing on their laptops, and on the farthest side of the coffee shop, in a table for two, sat a teen, his hands paler than any human skin, his long hair hiding his face, a coffee cup in front of him and his legs shacking.

"Hello! Can I help you?" A cheerful voice called from the cashier desk, he put on a smile on his face and turned to see a black haired girl, with a big smile on her face.

"Yeah, do you have Eral Gray?"

"We do! Anything else with this?"

"No, thank you"

"Okay, just a minute"

When he got his cup he paid the girl murmuring a "Thank you" and walking to Tim.

When he sat down in front of the teen, icy blue eyes looked at his face, and his breath hitched when he saw the little cuts on at each end of his mouth, creating a smile.

"Hey" Jason said, smiling at Tim.

"Hey.." Tim's voice almost didn't reached his ears and Jason's smile grew wider when Tim smiled at him. A shy little amazing smile.

"I'm Jason"

"T-Tim"

"Nice to meet you"

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted tea"

"You aren't scared?" Tim's eyes looked a bit insane when he said the last word, his smile grew wider and he leaned closer to the table. The cuts on his face and his pale skin made him look like Joker but there was also something else there, something in his eyes that said 'Pleas don't be scared' and Jason swallowed and forced his nerves to calm down.

"No, you actually seems nice"

Tim blinked once.

Twice.

And then his smile became nicer, less dangerous and more shy. He relaxed and took a sip from his coffee.

Jason smiled, sipping from his own cup while making a note in his head to be careful with this one.

They drank a couple more cups together, chatting about nothing in particular and when Tim excused himself and left, Jason found a paper next to the cup.

He opened it because of his dammed curiosity and bis breath hitched.

'Ha ha ha'

_____________________________________________

It was in the middle of the night, the streets lamps flickered on and off every couple of seconds, and the stars were hidden in the sky, behind the clouds.

His parents just left the town. Without telling him. Again. And it's fine, he can't be mad at his parents for leaving him -he is, like his mother says, rotten child- all the time.

But sometimes he wonders if he'll ever be good enough for them to stay. If he'll ever be good enough so his mother wouldn't need to hiss his name through clench teeth and his father to hit him.

Maybe he would never be good enough..

In those nights when he wonders about it, he goes to a walk. It's always makes him calm and shuts his mind down. It's leaving him with the feeling of wholenesses, like some how the wind that hit his body in cold sharp hit is welcoming, or the cold of the night is like his stuffed Kola -the one he got from Bruce Wayne In a gala that his parents hosted when he was four and since then he hides it from his parents and hugging it when he need comfort- or like the silence out here is better than the silence inside the empty house.

And maybe, just maybe hr would see his heros.

And as Tim kept walking he could barely hear this cursed laugh, followed by the soft like song-

Mary had a little lamb

Little lamb, little lamb

Mary had a little lamb...

"Cutie pie?" His mama's voice rang, it was muffled but it was still there. "I'm hearing laughing, it's a good joke?"

A knock on his door "Sweetheart?" His laugh grew and his eyes burned, tears dropping from his eyes.

"Timmy?"

He hugged his legs to his chest, laughing and crying and this song is stuck in his head and he can't stop it and-

"Mary had a little lamb"

Mama's hands are around him, hugging him and petting his hair "Shhh shh shh, everything's fine baby, I'm here"

He can't breathe and the song is on full volume in his head but mama's here and mama is safety, she's safety. He's safe. Safe

_____________________________________________

"What the hell were you thinking?" Oracle's voice rang through the comn in his helmet.

"You need to be more specific than that O"

"Tim blocked me, Selina is mad at Bruce because one of his kids hurt her niece, Harley and Tim are nowhere to be found and Selina and Ivy are planning something"

"I didn't hurt Tim and I don't know why you told ma all the other stuff"

"Hood, Tim's smart, maybe too much smart but his mind is broken, he's crazy and genius"

"Okay and..?"

"He wants to go -and I’m quoting him- Boom he always wanted everyone to know that he's Harley's kid, and I always made him take more time, think about it more the fact that he blocked me means that I can't tell him to sit back anymore"

"You can remove it though"

"I did, and he just throw his phone away"

"So I broke him?"

"No, Joker broke him you just set him off"

"Shit"

"Yes. Shit"

_____________________________________________

"Wohhooo" Was shout out to the sky as Tim set in shopping cart, Harley -in her rollerblades- holding the handles of the cart, and they're both 'driving' down a road, laughing.

The air hit Tim's face in the best way he could have ever imagined and he laughed so hard that his cheedk burned, and maybe he ripped his stiches oncr again today but he dosen't care.

He is happy. So, so happy, like he was with this hot guy in the coffee shop, before his meltdown.

But right now, right now it's all this.

His mama and him, having fun, his mom and aunty kitty somewhere doing her own thing and everything's okay.

He laughed again as they started to speed up, the wind throwing his hair in any direction possible.

After a few minutes they cane to a stop, his mama's smile is so loving and he hopes that his smile is loving as well.

"Come on sweetie, let's do it" Harley smiled as she gave him the lighter, he jumped out of the cart and lit the lighter, his eyes sparking as the fire started spreading.

Tim and Harley walked away because they're crazy not stupid.

There faces lit up as the fireworks blew and flew to the sky.

Harley hugged him from behind and he relaxed into his mama's touch, watching the fireworks becoming to words that are shining over Gotham's sky.

30 days

_____________________________________________

"Hey Hoodie" A cheerful voice called from behind him.

Red Hood turned around, a gun in his hand just to be met with Tim's lovely smile.

"Chill, chill" The teen said, holding his hands up "I'm not going to hurt you"

"What do you want?" Hood asked, lowering his gun.

"We have never met have we?" Tim said, his smile calm

"I don't think so"

"No, but I did met Robin"

"So you met the Demon"

Tim frowned "No. The second one."

"Don't know him"

"Red Hood can't meet Robin II"

"And why's that?"

"Robin II's dead, dad killed him" Tim shock his head "I don't like dad, I liked Robin II and dad did it because it's funny. It's not!"

Tim looked so frustrated, his eyes big and he's looking at Jason like he hope that he would understand that and, something in Jason change, his face are softer under the helmet and-

"Okay Tim, I know you aren't the Joker."

"I didn't met *you* but we did met, I know Robin and I know Jason and now I know Red Hood?"

"You know who I am"

"No, no no no!" Tim looked him straight in the eyes, like he could see his face behind the helmet "You're Red Hood now, you were Robin and you always were Jason but now you Red Hood, I don't know Red Hood!"

"Okay, okay, relax, you don't know Red Hood, that's fine"

"I need to know Red Hood"

"Why?"

"Because I need Red Hood to help me"

"You need help?"

"Yes"

"Okay, but why Red Hood?"

"Because.. Ummm because- Because of Dad! I need Red Hood to help me kill dad"

To kill.. the Joker.

To kill the Joker.

The Joker dead.

'Yes'

"I would help you, Red Hood and Jason, okay?"

Tim nodded "Yeah, okay."

The sky started to glow and they both looked up, looking at fireworks that formed

29 days

_____________________________________________

It was so logical and simple that Jason almost laugh.

He sat next to Tim in some small safehouse, looking at Tim up and down as he was solving Sudoku.

They're waiting for the others to decide exactly who will go in and kill this son of a bitch and aho will make sure that everyone else will be present in that day.

They are waiting for Tim's small family, and Jason smiled at the thought of this family, he once had one and then he died and he was replaced by Stephanie Brown who is now Batgirl so they're fine now. But he doesn't have this family now, all he have are some blurred memories.

Tim let out a little "Yay" with a cute, small giggle that made Jason smile.

"Hey!" Tim suddenly said, looking at Jason with big eyes, Jason looked around him, trying to find something that would make Tim look panoco "What-"

"Are you hurt?" Tim's voice was soft and caring and Jasom heart might have skipped a beat, "No?"

"Than why do you have split lip and bruise on your jaw?"

"I've got into a fight, it's not serious" But Tim was there in seconds, his worry eyes looking at Jason's jaw and just wow- Jason swallowed the lump in his throat when Tim's slender finger touched his lip and-

"I've the best thing to help!" Tim pulled away and his finger caressed Jason's lip in a way that made Jason hold his breath.

And in the next moment Tim putted a chocolate bar in his hand, smiling at him "It help!" He said and Jason huffed a laugh, mentally shacking his head.

"Thanks Timmy" Jason said an smile on his face, opening the chocolate and cutting a line.

It was milk chocolate with pop candy and it was amazing, Jason hummed as he ate it, looking at Tim solving a new sudoku.

After the meeting (if it even can be called that) Jason took the rest of the chocolate bar, just to have something sweet after patrol tonight.

_____________________________________________

Jason stripped from his Red Hood gear, stretching his hands out and poping his back.

He took a quick shower and pulled on a sweat pants and grey hoodie from the deep of his closest 'Maybe it's time to do the laundry'.

Jason smiled as the sky were lit in 25 Days and turned the lamp off.

His lip tickled as some kind of reminder that Tim touched him there, he looked so worried and that just warmed Jason's heart.

And that amazing chocolate- maybe he will have to get hurt more just to have it.

He closed hid eyes, ready to fall asleep and then it hit him-

Oh.

Oh.

Oh shit.

He- he have a crush.

_____________________________________________

The sun was in the middle of the sky when Jason woke up, blinking into the darkness because the blinds are close.

He groaned as he stretched his body, still in the bed under the warmth of the fluffy blanket. The sleepiness still has her claws clutching on him and made Jason wonder why the hell his bed isn't as comfy whenever he's trying to sleep but is when he tries to wake up.

He almost fell asleep again, but the *Bam! Bam! Bam!* on his door made him jolt up from the bed, the gun that he hides between the mattress and the bed in his hand, walking to the living room without making a sound, looking through the peep hole.

He huffed in relief, opening the door looking at Dick who smiled at him. "You woke me up you asshole"

"Sorry little wing" But Dick didn't sounded sorry at all and that just made him groan.

Jason followed Dick to the kitchen after Dick let himself in, the door closing behind them.

"What are you doing here?"

"I can't visit my little brother?"

"Not your brother" Jason turned around to the pantry to take out a tea bag just when Dick flinched from the words as if they're physically harming him.

"You're my brother, even if you don't see it like that"

"Dick."

"No! You're my brother, I count you as my brother" Dick snap and Jason would lie if he said that that didn't touched his heart, even if it's not true because in the end Dick have his new little brother and also a sister and it's really is fine that Jason isn't part of his family. It is.

So he didn't reply to it, just let Dick think what he wants to. "Do you want to tell me why you actually came or what?" He asked as he started to boil water.

"I wanted to talk to you"

"About?"

"You said you'd this case, how's it going?"

Jason took the teapot off the gas, pouring the hot water to his glass, "I didn't told anyone that I've a case"

"Well no but Babs told me"

"Babs don't know, and she would have asked if she wanted to know" Jason took a sip from his cup and turned around to glare at the older man "What it really is about?"

"Bruce saw you with Harley and Ivy and their kid and he wants to know what you all doing"

Jason saw red for a moment and them took a calming breath, a long sip from his tea and walked his way toward the island, putting his mug down and glaring at his so called brother.

"So you're here on a mission?" His voice was cold and full with venom.

"N-no!"

Jason raised an eyebrow "You just said it"

"I don't care what B wanted, I came for my brother"

"Damian isn't here"

"Jason!"

"What? You want me to say that you didn't came because Bruce said something on me? You don't want to know what I'm doing with Harley, Ivy and their kid? Ah? That's what you're telling me?"

"I-"

"Ha! And you just said we're brothers!"

"We are Jason"

"No! You have your own little family, I'm not part of it, never was!"

"You are! You always were and you always will be!"

And at that moment Jason saw green, throwing his mug down on the island, the shatterd flew everywhere and the hot water started to drip down to the floor.

And as a last resort Dick yelled "TIM DRAKE!"

It made Jason blink, and look at Dick, "What did you just said?"

"Tim Drake, it's this boy Joker kidnapped, Harley and Ivy's kid"

"How do you know this?"

"Well, family of detectives and all"

"What do you want?"

"Is he threating you?"

"What? No!"

"Jay, you can tell me the truth"

"Oh I can?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Okay so fuck off"

"Wh-what?"

"The truth is that I want you to fuck off and don't ever come back. Bye."

"..Jay.."

"I'll throw you out of the window"

"Okay, okay. But.."

"Go!" _____________________________________________

Tim sat on an air conditioner motor that was on the roof of a building, his legs tangling down, one shoe red with zigzag lines on it and the other one yellow with glitters. His pants in a fading green colour and a black-blue t-shirt. And Jason just looked, glad that his helmet hiding his face as a stupid smile crossed his face.

"Hoodie hood!" Tim's cheerful voice made Jason's smile wider, and Tim pushed himself of the air conditioner motor, when his feet touched the roof his yellow shoe started to sparkle with light, like little kids shoes.

"Hey clown kid" Tim smiled, something sweet and beautiful that made butterflies fly in Jason's belly.

"I don't like this helmet today" Tim said, his hands touching lightly at the sides of the red helmet.

"And why's that?"

"I can't see your hair. I love your hair!"

Jason smiled, Tim was just... just.

"Thanks baby clown, I love your hair too"

"Baby clown?"

"Yup"

"I like it"

"Good"

Tim took Jason's hand in his and started walking them to the air conditioner motor.

They both sat down, Tim's hands now in his lap and Jason opened his helmet, setting it next to him.

Tim looked at him, his blue icy eyes glinted and a small smile on his face. Jason looked right back at him, the blue-green eyes looking like some amazing place that kids are being told about in fairy tales.

Jason don't know who moved first, or what exactly happened. All he knows is that Tim is sitting in his lap, Tim's hands in his hair and Jason hugging him close. There mouths pressing against each other's. Tim's mouth have this amazing chocolate taste, a hint of coffee and Tim.

In the dark sky above of them, the fireworks draw the 18 days.

_____________________________________________

Jason is happy. Like really truly happy. He couldn't stop smiling this stupid love sick smile since the kiss.

He met Tim every patrol and those small kiss were the best, 10/10 would definitely do again.

Tim's cute and smart and he seems to really like Jason which is amazing because Jason really like him too.

None of the Bats came to annoy him, and everything is just amazing. For once in his life everything is just good.

His grapple gun shot to the next building and the cold wind never felt better. As Red Hood's boots hit the roof a "Hey there, love bird" greeted him.

"Cat," He called back, doing a small '*hi*' with his hand "'sup?"

"We need to talk"

"About?"

"Tim"

Jason sat next to her, his legs tangling down from the roof, "You here to give me the talk?"

"Not the talk you think about, I'll that to his moms"

"Then what talk?"

"Are you serious with him?"

"For now.. for now yes" he said with a bit hesitation.

Selina nodded "That's good for me"

"Thank you?"

"You're welcome sweetie, anyway you nrrd to be careful with Timmy"

"I know that, I wasn't born yesterday Cat"

She huffed a laugh, "Oh I know that sweetie, but you still need to know about Tim's past"

"Isn't he supposed to tell me about it? In his own time?"

"He will, I'm going to tell you only things that he won't because it's a trigger for him"

"The torture?"

"Yes, the torture, and what lead to his kidnapping, and it'll give you an idea yo what his parents were like"

Jason looked at her in the eyes, seriousness burns in them. "Okay, let's hear the story" _____________________________________________

His parents left again, it has been hours since the screaming stopped, his cheeks were wet from tears and his eyes red.

He was hiding in the closet, his hands holding his stuffed Kola close, his left arm is numb except for the cut on it, but it's a small cut and he deserved it. He isn't supposed to talk back to his father.

The dry blood on his arm itched and he needs to treat the cut, but he don't want to move. The closest is a safe place because mother and father can't get in.

New tears slipping down his face and he hugs the Kola tighter.

_____________________________________________

When Tim woke up his neck hurt and his left arm felt like a million fire ants stung her.

He opened the closest door, stumbling out of there holding the Kola in one hand, dropping it on his bed and walking to the bathroom, pulling the first aid kit from under the sink, treating his wound with a hiss of pain.

A quick glance out of the window and he knows it's in the middle of the night, and his parents were supposed to stay home for more couple of days but once again they just left the town. Without telling him. Again. And it's fine, he can't be mad at his parents for leaving him -he is, like his mother says, rotten child- all the time.

But he doesn't have something to do now, and his arm's fine, he can go out and see Batman, and maybe Robin too. Though Robin isn't around a lot now, maybe something happened... _____________________________________________

The streets lamps flickered on and off every couple of seconds, and the stars were hidden in the sky, behind the clouds.

The cold wind hit him merciless, but it just made him smile, he loves the winter. It always made him feel better with himself.

His camera clutched in his hands, his black stocking cap falling on his eyes every couple of minutes, and yes it may be annoying but it's also letting him something to do, because tonight he can't find Batman...

What the hour anyway? Maybe he's late and Batman's back in the cave...

And then he could hear it, some quiet voice singing.. Maybe a kid.. What if the kid need help?

"Hello?' he called out, moving closer to the voice, he can hear the words now.

"Mary had a little lamb Little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb..." _____________________________________________

He cried out, pain strobes through all hid body, tears on his face and blood run down his chine and neck

This psycho laugh making him shiver and try to run away. This hateful song in the background..

And this voice.. "Come on Little Lamb, be a good son for little old me, and tell me. What's. Your. Name?"

"T-Tim"

He screamed as he got electriced again. _____________________________________________

He is shacking, scared out of his mind, tears rolling down his face. And it doesn't stop.

He can barely breathe, the electrical shock isn't stopping. And Tim is honest to God scared.

He don't know what's next to come, he can't actually believe it's happening and everything- everything hurt.

He can feel himself leaving his body, his heart- _____________________________________________

He woke up, everything is hurting again and the fucking Joker is looking at him, this psychotic smile on his face-

"Welcome back my Little Lamb"

-And this horrible song again

"Mary had a little lamb Little lamb, little lamb Mary had a little lamb..." _____________________________________________

"What's your name?"

"Tim!" _____________________________________________

"What's. Your. Name?"

"Ti-" _____________________________________________

"Your name?"

He don't even* know *anymore, and it's really frustrating... _____________________________________________

He is laughing. A manic good laugh. Happy laugh.

He's happy because he remembers who he is and it's funny- why did he forgot anyway?

"What's your name?"

"JJ!" _____________________________________________

He laughed as his dad cut his face open do he'll always smile. He laughed as dad throw him to the acid. He laughed as dad painted his hair.

He laughed and he laughed, and laughed and laughed-

But it's not funny anymore- dad isn't here and his hair is black... JJ scowled at the mirror, dad don't like his hair black. He like green. Yes, green hair and purple suit, and red- red, red, red blood. And it's funny- everything funny so hr laughs, but the mirror- The shattered glass flew everywhere and it's so funny that he can't stop laughing-

"Timothy!" Mother's standing by the door, she looks horrified.. it's not funny anymore- it's not-

He can't breathe, he stumbles backwards, tears rolling down his face and he. Can't. Stop. Laughing. _____________________________________________

One night he heard his mother and father talking. It's not fine, but what is fine anymore? He's finally Tim but he's also JJ and it's so confusing.

"I can't look at him anymore Jack, he is pathetic!"

"I know Janet, don't worry"

Tim chokes a whimper. _____________________________________________

The next week Ivy and Harley found Tim trying to drown himself and took him in... _____________________________________________

Jason took in a deep breath, his eyes wet and his heart ache for his little clown.

"It's..."

Catwoman gave him a small smile, "A lot? I know. Those are once of the memories Tim still have"

"I'm- I can't even-" Cat smiled at him and squeezed his shoulder.

The words 13 Days shined in the sky above them.

_____________________________________________

"Hood" Oracle's voice filled his helmet.

"O, how many times do I need to ask you not to hack my helmet?"

Oracle completely ignored him "How's Tim been?"

Jason swallow, he forgot that Babs is actually one of those people who really care about Tim (and him. Because Babs amazing).

"He's been good, happy" Just like Jason. It's like they feel the same thing. He can see Babs smile in his mind at that, like something changed in the weather just because of what he said, and it pulled a smile in his face.

"That's good, how are you?"

"Same as Tim"

And now he can hear her smile when she talks "I'm happy to hear that."

"How are you O? Does Dick head annoying you? 'cuz I can beat him if you need"

O snorted, "Two days sleeping on the sofa and he'll be begging for my forgiveness"

Jason laughed. And they kept talking about nothing for two more minutes, before Babe had to go.

And that's when Jason shot his grapple to another roof and went flying in the sky, the feeling of happiness all over his body.

But it all stopped when hr heard it.

It came straight out of his nightmares, something from his deepest fears.

This manic laugh. Joker's laugh.

And no just no. Thete's no way this stupid fucker got out again.

He dropped to the ground with a thud sound, looking for the fucker but instead seeing a group of teenagers, kicking someone on the ground.. someone who couldn't stop laughing like the Joker and his heart stopped beating for a second when he realised who it is.

A shot noise ripped through the air and the teens stopped, looking back at the red hood holding a gun at one of them.

All he needed to do wad to say "Go. Away" and the teens ran away, leaving Tim on the ground, hugging his legs to his chest, blood and tears mixed together on his face, and he couldn't breathe because the laughing wouldn't stop.

Jason hurried to him, helping him to sit up and uncurl himself, unable to look over Tim's face since he wouldn't let him.

"Tim, sweetie, my baby clown," Jason kissed his cheek, hugging him close to him "It's me, remember? Red Hood"

And at that Tim's head moved, looking up at him. Eyes full of tears and his face twitched in this manic smile, blood dripping down from the now open cuts in his chicks to his chin.

"Timmy babe, can you hear me?" He received a small and hesitate nod that he took as yes.

"Can you give me your hands?" He asked, showing Tim his gloved hands. The smaller man put his hands in his, feeling the fabric.

Tim relaxed, his eyes fixed on the red helmet, the tears stopped rolling down his face.

The laughing quiet down a bit, but still were there.

"You remember me, right? We are friends, hell I'm hoping even more than friends"

Tim nodded, but Jason wasn't sure what he was agreeing with so he just kept talking.

"We have this amazing plan, because you are my little smarty boy right?"

Tim could take in a breath and that was good, he wasn't laughing anymore but he also didn't talk exactly, just watched Jason and every couple of seconds squeezed one of his hands (never the both of them together for some reason).

"Hell I even kissed you that night and it was the greatest thing in the whole world baby clown"

"No." Tim's tiny voice waved on the air.

"Hah?" If Tim didn't like Jason like that... It would be ok, he will be heart breaked for a few days but he would be fine at the end... Somehow.

"I kissed you" Tim said, looking at him with this witty little smile that Jason grew to love so much.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah" a small smile tug on Jason's lips, and their lips met. It was amazing just like the first time they kissed, and it sent sparkles down Jason's body.

And after a minute he let go, both of them taking deep breath.

"Come on baby clown, let's go to my home"

Tim took his hand and he pulled him up, hugging the smaller man.

The words 7 Days exploded in the sky exactly when they reached Jason's apartment.

_____________________________________________ 

Waking up with Tim by his side is amazing.

The smaller man was curled next to him, a hand clutching at the fabric of his shirt. The long black hair messed up but still so beautiful. Tim's face relaxed, a samll smile on his face.

Last night Jason gave him one of his own shirts, and the younger basically swam in the white shirt.

Jason looked at the paler than normal skin that was now available. It was in the same colour of the shirt.

He pulled Tim closer to him, kissing the beautiful man's forehead and closing his eyes.

Immediately going back to the welcoming blackness of sweat dreamless sleep. _____________________________________________

The next time he woke up was because Tim wasn't next to him.

Jason didn't know exactly why he woke up because of that, but the moment Tim's weight left his body his eyes snapped open, meating beautiful blue eyes.

Tim smiled at him, a sleepy smile. His hair a whole lot of mess and Jason's heart beated faster as he smiled back.

The sun was already in the middle of the sky and the clock on the wall said it was already one A.M.

"Mornin' Jay" Tim whispered.

"Morning baby clown" _____________________________________________

They ate together, silence surrounding them in the most comfortable way.

Jason couldn't exactly point it out but something about Tim made him.... just feel whole. Like he didn't felt since he woke up six feet deep.

Both of them were in Jason clothes and Jason found out that for some unknown reason, white looked better at pale skin.

And Tim.. Tim was the most beautiful human he saw. His blue eyes, his black long hair, and this perfect smile. Jason started asking what he fucking did right to get this angel. _____________________________________________

He didn't knew how it happened but Tim's hot wet mouth was on him and he was practically in heaven.

His hands gripped the black hair and pulled slightly, making Tim moan and himself gasping as the moans vibrate on him.

He was definitely in heaven and this angel between his legs was the most perfect thing to ever happen to him.

"Oh God" he said and moaned Tim's name, his legs shacking.

"Tim I'm about to-" and with that he came down Tim's throat, the angel swallowed it and looked him in the eyes, giving him this beautiful smile. And well, Jason might die happy this time around. _____________________________________________

This night he hugged Tim closed to him, the smaller man hugging him back.

Outside the words 6 Days colored the black sky with pink, green and yellow.

_____________________________________________

It was simple. Very simple, and Jason did it already so why the hell is he freaking out?

Harley and Ivy started a riot somewhere in the city while Catwoman helped them in Arkham and said that she's going to take care of the security. So from there they were alone.

And it wasn't like he didn't knew the plane by heart, it's just that it really is happening. He's going to kill the Joker. They're going to kill the Joker.

And it's not a dream. The mother fucking clown is going to laugh for the last time. _____________________________________________

Each floor has a minimum of two guards, thanks to Killer Croc Arkham was down six guards, so floors 1-3 only had one guard each during the day (Because Gotham’s criminals are all geniuses and think that night is the best time for a breakout).

So doubling up only happened at night on these floors until the guards either recovered or replacements were vetted and hired.

Floors 4-5 had double guards at all times and floor 6 was more storage and extra holding cells than anything else right now.

Thanks to Harley and Ivy's riot there weren't a lot of guards where they were, everyone waiting to catch the two. Catwoman didn't lied about helping them from afar as every door opened to them without problems. _____________________________________________

The elevator doors opened at the fourth floor, Jason noted that there weren't any guards around, wondering what Catwoman did as he heard the muffled noise of an alarm from the floor above them.

Jason walked to the guard station and peeked in to see two men slumped over and unconscious. From the looks of it they have been knocked out, 'help from afar ha?' he thought to himself, smiling a little. Looking over at Tim, the little clown being too quite for so long, the teen smiled, his skin somehow more pale than normal, and his gun at hand. Jason nodded to him and Tim did the peace sign.

They followed a hallway around behind the booth and came up on a large metal door. They waited couple of seconds and the door opened, revealing another hallway with another large metal door several yards down. There were three such doors in their's way and each one opened and closed behind them, making them closer and closer to the goal.

Jason paused and took a deep breath before the final door. This is it. This stupid clown is as good as dead. The door opened.

And there was the Joker, laying on a thin metal like bed that was bolted to the wall.

All that stood between them and the Joker was a wall of bulletproof wall with several inches thick with small round air holes cut evenly to allow air to flow into the (if it could even be called that) room.

The Joker slowly rolled off the bed when he saw them, and came to stand in front of the clear wall, a sick smile on his face. “Well, well, well, what have we here? Visitors? Oh, I know you!" He said as he looked at Tim, his grin getting wider "You're my little lamb. HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!”

Jason's heart started to beat faster, looking at Tim's hand gripping the gun so tight that his fingers turned whiter than usual.

"I'm not" Tim said, his voice quite.

"What did you said little lamb? Talk louder for papa"

Tim smiled, a small smile that made Jason question if he's going to follow the plan or not.

And of he really think about it, he was never told about this part of the plan... How will they kill the Joker?

"JJ?"

"I'm not a fucking lamb you old fucker" Tim said and shoot.

[quirkswriting]

iida tenya’s guide to physical intimacy for the socially awkward

Overview: Your boyfriend’s been acting a little strange lately... not that you’re jealous or anything, but what’s gotten into your socially conscious (and easily embarrassed) favourite boy and why is he holding Midoriya’s hand instead of your own? Pairing: Iida Tenya x Reader (Aged up Uni/College AU!) Word Count: 4.7k Warning(s): Swearing, a small hint of jealousy? But not gross jealousy Author’s Notes: This has taken me a ridiculous amount of time to finish but it’s here! Part 3 of the soft cuddle series featuring the lovable dork Iida <3

                                                          ***

Iida was annoyed. More than annoyed, really, and starting to verge on frustrated. Not quite upset, but heading in that direction. Which is why he was currently pacing back and forth in the living room of his shared apartment with Midoriya and Todoroki. He’d asked them for advice, calling a roommate meeting in their living room to see if they could help him with his problem.

“You’re wearing a hole in the carpet,” Todoroki said, though he didn’t look up from the book he was reading—something for his Conspiracy Theories class, which had Todoroki the most animated Iida had ever seen him when they’d been discussing the chapter on the Mothman at lunch the day before. So either Todoroki didn’t actually care about the rug or he was too into his reading to push it any further (or possibly a combination of both, seeing as they’d used Todoroki’s father’s credit card to furnish their apartment when they’d moved in and he’d just bought whatever item was the most expensive if Iida or Midoriya didn’t step in with a different opinion). Iida kept pacing anyway, while Midoriya came back from the kitchen with his arms full of snacks and drinks.

“So what’s bugging you, Iida?” He asked, sitting next to Todoroki on the couch. He handed the quiet boy beside him a drink before depositing the rest on the coffee table and taking a drink for himself. Iida finally stopped pacing. He sat down on the plush chair opposite the couch, keeping his back straight as he sank down into the cushion as he looked at his friends. Todoroki was still reading his book, now holding a can of pop in one hand and balancing his book in the other, while Midoriya also had his own can of pop and had popped the tab open and was taking a drink. Iida figured that he may as well tell them.

“I’ve failed as a boyfriend,” he said. Midoriya almost immediately started coughing, choking on his drink. Todoroki dropped his book on his lap and began to pound the smaller man on the back to try and help clear his airway. It took almost a minute before Midoriya stopped coughing and gently pushed Todoroki away.

“What do you mean, ‘failed as a boyfriend’?” Midoriya asked, red starting to fade from his face. Iida sighed, slumping his shoulders and resting his hands on his knees.

“I… want to take the next step in my relationship with (Y/N) and I just haven’t been able to do it,” he told his friends, looking down at his sock feet. “I’ve been researching the best methods for physical intimacy. I’ve read all of the books I could find in the library and I’ve tried looking up information online and I’ve learned quite a lot but every time I try and put it into practice it doesn’t work.”

“You’ve been reading books on physical intimacy?” Midoriya asked, and Iida could hear the crack in his voice. Iida felt his own cheeks grow warm as he looked up from his feet to his friends. Midoriya was trying very hard to keep a smile off his face, while Todoroki was clearing his throat—and sounding suspiciously like he was snorting into his hand. It took an embarrassingly long thirty seconds for Iida to realize what they were thinking, and when he did his eyes widened and he shook his head.

“Not that kind of physical intimacy!” Iida said, waving his hands in front of him. That just seemed to amuse his friends even more and he really hoped they never told you that this conversation happened (but given how close you were with Midoriya he really wasn’t going to hold his breath). “I want to, you know, I’d like to initiate… you know, when you see couples? And they’re not being inappropriate but they’re showing more affection than I’m comfortable doing in public, do you know what I mean?” He was gesturing vaguely and his voice was trailing off towards the end of his sentence, but judging by the way Midoriya’s face lit up, Iida knew he’d made some semblance of sense.

“Oh, Iida, you want to be cuddly with (Y/N)! Oh thank goodness, when you said you’d failed as a boyfriend I thought you’d cheated on them,” Midoriya said, scratching the back of his head. Iida started sputtering, but Midoriya held his hands up in front of his face before his glasses wearing friend could say anything. “I know you wouldn’t though! It’s okay! But it’s that kind of physical intimacy. That’s… that’s a really weird way of putting it. You can just call it PDA, you know? Normal people usually do.”

Iida must have looked as confused as he felt, because Todoroki followed up with, “Public displays of affection,” before draping his arm over the back of the couch and just over Midoriya’s shoulders so that his fingertips were ever so slightly brushing the fabric of Midoriya’s shirt. Now it was the green haired young man’s turn to blush a soft pink. Iida couldn’t help raising an eyebrow and Todoroki cleared his throat. “This… is an example. Of that. I’m giving you an example.”

Well, at least now Iida had something to tell you later. That would hopefully cancel out whatever Midoriya was going to tell you had happened at his apartment today.

“Wait, hold on, if you’re not comfortable doing that in public why are you researching it?” Midoriya asked, his face still pink while he made no move to shy away from his roommate. Iida fidgeted slightly in the chair, relaxing his posture just a bit. He’d been raised with certain expectations in place; to be a proper young man, he had to treat his partners with respect and dignity and treasure them where they are meant to be treasured. He was taught to keep private things private, at home, where it was safe and sacred and just that much more intimate because it was shared between the two of them. That’s how his parents had been, a very ‘behind closed doors’ sort of couple. Hell, Iida could count the number of times he’d seen his own parents kiss on one hand! But he knew you’d been raised differently; that for you, casual intimacy was ingrained into who you were—and he wanted to be part of that too. Even if it was slightly unnerving for him.

Thinking about you brought a smile to Iida’s face, and he looked back down at his hands as they sat folded in his lap. “Because… I know (Y/N) would like it. And I want them to be happy.” He could imagine how you’d look, how happy you’d be in his arms at the movies, or with your hands wrapped around his arm while you were walking in the park, or any other scenario from the multitudes of books he’s read and movies he’s watched over the last few weeks. And while the images were perfect in his head... “But every time I try I always manage to mess it up. And then I try harder and I end up making it worse!” Iida dropped his head low and brought his hands up to cover his face.

“I don’t know, maybe… just kinda go with the flow?” Midoriya suggested, and then Iida felt a hand resting on his shoulder. He took a deep breath and looked up into the freckled face of his best friend, who had moved from his spot beside Todoroki to come and sit cross legged on the floor in front of Iida with a smile on his face. “Just do what feels natural. Or, you know, don’t try so hard with (Y/N). Literally everyone knows how much you guys like each other.”

“To quote Bakugou, the two of you are, ‘Absolutely disgusting with all that lovey-dovey bullshit’,” Todoroki piped up, doing a very deadpan impersonation of the hot-tempered blond. Midoriya snorted, and Iida felt himself crack a small smile. Todoroki then continued, “And if Bakugou can tell how much the two of you like each other, then it’s probably a good idea to listen to Midoriya about this. (Y/N) picked you, after all, knowing who you are and how you handle situations. Even after what happened in the dorms on—”

“Todoroki! Do not finish that sentence,” Iida said, waving his hands again. He had absolutely no desire to talk about the reason the three of them were currently required to live in an off campus apartment together. He’d much rather focus on the problem at hand. Midoriya snorted louder this time, and Todoroki went back to his book. “It’s not that I’m doubting my feelings for (Y/N) or their feelings for me, it’s about… it’s about me having no idea how I’m supposed to ‘Go with the flow’ because every time I try I just get so flustered it ends in disaster and I don’t know how I’m supposed to get better!”

Todoroki dogeared his page and closed his book once more, letting it rest on his lap. “Practice makes perfect,” he said. “You just have to keep working at it. Eventually you’ll get better. Less stiff. Like when you oil your joints to keep yourself in prime condition.” Midoriya coughed to cover what Iida knew was a laugh, and the blue haired man rolled his eyes.

“Practice with who? There are only so many times I can knock over a table when I go out with (Y/N). We’re running out of restaurants we can go to,” he said. It was starting to become a problem, honestly. He thought for a moment, studying his friends, before an idea started to take shape in his mind. These were his roommates, he trusted them, and they were some of the people who he was most comfortable with aside from you… Maybe this could work. “Unless… I practiced with the two of you?”

“With us? No way!” Midoriya’s eyes were wider than what seemed to be humanly possible, and Todoroki was shaking his head. Iida moved from his chair to come and kneel in front of his friends and place his hands on their shoulders.

Iida looked between his friends, his lips set in a firm line. “Think of (Y/N)! Do it for them!” He encouraged them. “Please? You’re the only ones who can help me now.” There was a tense silence for a moment as Midoriya and Todoroki looked to each other and communicated silently. Todoroki broke eye contact first, and his brows were furrowed as he turned to stare Iida down.

“No one tells anyone that we’re doing this,” Todoroki said, and Iida knew he’d won.

Now all he had to do was put his research into practice. And hopefully not cover his friends in their food when he tried.

                                                               ——

You walked into one of the coffee shops on campus, the cozy one beside the library (not the overpriced one next to the dorms or the super busy one in the community centre) on your way to get some studying done. Your afternoon class was cancelled (Professor Nemuri had emailed the class halfway through your last lecture and you almost cried out of pure relief) and with two tests and a paper due next week you were going to make the most of the time you had. Or, well, you’d try and that was the best you could really do. But you had your headphones in as you got in line to order, you thought of one way you could try and keep yourself on track; invite your boyfriend to come and study with you. You knew his class schedule and he didn’t have anything this afternoon so he might be willing to help you get more done than you would on your own. So you took your phone out of your pocket, moving forward as the person in front of you got closer to the counter, and typed out a message.

‘Hey, my afternoon class got cancelled, wanna come study with me in the library? Study snacks are on me this time!’ you sent, and just like usual you had a response almost right away.

‘Ah, I’m sorry to hear about that (Y/N)! I would be more than happy to study with you this weekend, but I’m afraid I have plans today.’ You frowned, but you knew it was a little last minute anyway. And only your boyfriend would be sad to hear that class was cancelled. You sent off a few sad faces but told him that it was okay, and put your phone back in your pocket. The line moved forward again, and you couldn’t help but look around the coffee shop while you waited. There wasn’t anything too interesting happening at the occupied tables and you almost sighed out loud before you noticed a familiar mop of red and white hair in the back on the side opposite you.

There he was, Tenya Iida, your socially conservative boyfriend, practically cuddled up with his roommates (and your friends) Midoriya and Todoroki in a small booth on the other side of the coffee shop. If any of them looked up and over they would definitely see you, but they seemed to be pretty engrossed in whatever they were talking about so you doubted they’d notice unless you caught their attention. You wished you were a little closer so you could hear what they were saying.

You saw Tenya, the pink flush on his cheeks visible even though he was on the other side of the coffee shop, hesitantly reach over and place his hand on top of Midoriya’s own. You could swear your own jaw dropped and your mouth hung open while you watched. You felt a small pang in your chest watching him hold Midoriya’s hand, and you bit your bottom lip. Tenya was allowed to do whatever he wanted, he was his own person and you trusted him, but seeing him openly affectionate with Midoriya? In public? When you knew how private your boyfriend was and how uncomfortable PDA made him? Your mind was swirling with questions that you absolutely wanted answers to and as much as you were going to deny it, you were just a tiny bit jealous. But you definitely didn’t take any pleasure when, not even a moment later, something Todoroki said caused Tenya to jump and his drink to spill down his front. Nope, no pleasure at all (But you’d remember to give him some stain remover next time you saw him).

You heard someone clear their throat, and you turned from the sight capturing your attention to see the cashier looking expectantly at you. You moved forward, scratching at the side of your neck as you placed your order and paid for it. You moved off to the side and waited patiently for the barista to finish preparing your drink for you—they were as quick as usual, and you couldn’t help but look back to where your boyfriend and his roommates were sitting as you were leaving. They looked completely normal now, no evidence anything had happened except for a small pile of napkins you could see at the edge of the table. You pursed your lips as you left and headed to the library.

But even after you’d secured a table and laid everything out to attempt to have a productive afternoon (before falling victim to Netflix) you couldn’t get the image out of your head and the more you thought about it, the less sense it made. You’d long given up on your test prep and had been staring at a blank laptop screen for the last half hour. Or, well, it felt like half an hour (but had only been about seven minutes). This was going to be a long afternoon and it had only just begun.

Just what the hell had happened?

                                                       ——

You caught Tenya with Midoriya and Todoroki once again, a few days later, when you were picking up dinner in the dining hall for you and Tsuyu. The two of you were going to binge a new anime together and it was your turn to grab food while she was getting everything set up for your hangout session tonight.

It was the same kind of thing this time, except instead of holding Midoriya’s hand Tenya was attempting to put his arm around Todoroki’a shoulders. It looked so awkward and yet so endearing, but that didn’t stop you frowning. You felt your stomach twist and turn as you wrapped your arms around yourself as you watched your boyfriend talk and laugh and look so much more comfortable and relaxed than you’d ever seen him in public. You couldn’t write this off as a one time thing (which is what you’d done with the coffee shop incident, and was how you justified not talking to him about it before now) because he just looked so natural sitting there.

Part of you really wanted to walk up to them and find out what the hell was going on, but you didn’t. Tsuyu was waiting, after all, and the rational part of you argued that there had to be a good explanation for all of this. Plus, even if it wasn’t with you, seeing your normally stiff boyfriend so relaxed was something that made you the tiniest bit happy. So, with the knots still stretching and twisting your stomach, you went and grabbed the requested food and spent your night with your roommate. There had to be some kind of logical explanation… right?

                                                          ——

Things finally came to head about a week later when you and Tenya were spending a Saturday night in your apartment. Tsuyu was out with her girlfriend so you had the place to yourself, and you’d invited Tenya over for dinner to spend time together. And, if you could figure out the right way to word it, to find out why he’d been acting so strange with his roommates.

The two of you made dinner together—or, well, you threw whatever leftovers were in your fridge together to make a semi-decent meal so you wouldn’t have to order in again while the two of you decided on something to watch on Netflix. You’d kept yourself busy from the moment you’d buzzed him up, pouring drinks and getting food ready and only speaking to ask him to hand you something or answer something he asked. Tenya kept moving closer to you, but you kept finding reasons to move away from him; until you figured out how you were going to ask him why he was suddenly cuddle buddies with his roommate, you didn’t want to risk letting him see any kind of physical indicator that you were jealous… er, not jealous, but curious. That’s what you were telling yourself.

You managed to get dinner cooked (and the parts you made were actually pretty tasty this time) and the two of you sunk down into the living room couch to watch a movie (because Tenya refused to let you eat in bed so you had to make do until your food was finished) with Tenya occupying the middle and you claiming your favourite side of the couch and the best mismatched pillows to curl up with. The two of you had finally settled on Whisper of the Heart with a promise of watching Avatar later on (“I must find out what happens at the Boiling Rock, (Y/N)!”) after you’d finished eating. But you didn’t even make it ten minutes into the movie before Tenya was placing his plate on the coffee table in front of you both.

“I can tell something is bothering you,” Tenya said. You pursed your lips but didn’t say anything, and he sighed. “Please tell me what’s going on. Is it your paper? I meant it when I said your conclusion was beautifully written, and I’m sure Professor Yamada is going to agree with me.”

Well, you couldn’t have asked for a better way to broach the subject if you tried. You put your own plate down on the coffee table as well (balancing it on your lap was probably not a good idea this time) and turned to face your boyfriend before you opened your mouth and words started rumbling out. “Look, I know that it’s none of my business and I have no idea what was going on but I saw what you were doing with Midoriya and Todoroki,” you said. You began twisting your hands in your lap. Tenya brought his own hand up to cover his mouth as he stared at you. “In the coffee shop, Tenya. And then again in the dining hall in the community centre. I saw you guys… you know. Being a lot closer in public than I’ve ever seen you before with anyone and it’s just been bugging me, Tenya, because you told me you don’t like that stuff.”

“...it was for you,” he admitted. His voice was quiet, and he’d moved his hand down to rest on his chin. His body slumped forward, and you watched your boyfriend’s shoulders sag even further than they already were. You shifted closer to him, scooting a little farther down the couch.

“I don’t get it.” You were a little unclear as to what you had to do with him holding someone else’s hand in public. Especially because it was someone else’s hand, not yours. Tenya sighed.

“Look, what I mean to say is… they were helping me practice. For you,” he told you, taking his glasses off and pinching the bridge of his nose. You knew your eyebrows were up near your hairline, and his slowly reddening cheeks exposed just how embarrassed he was. “I wanted to be more comfortable showing you affection in public and Midoriya and Todoroki were helping me do that. So I could be a better boyfriend for you and show you the affection I know you want and deserve. And so I can stop knocking tables over when we go out.” That got a small laugh out of you, and you saw some of the tension slip out of Tenya’s shoulders as he sat up and relaxed against the back of the couch.

“You’re already the best boyfriend I could ask for,” you told him, and you held your hand out towards him with your palm up. He placed his own on top of it and threaded your fingers together before giving it a light squeeze. “Just because you’d rather be cuddly in private doesn’t mean I think you’re a bad boyfriend. I want to respect your boundaries too. But it’s really sweet that you want to do that for me, even if you did use Midoriya and Todoroki to help you do that. In public. Where I saw you.”

Tenya tilted his head to the side, his eyes studying your expression carefully, before a smile started turning the corners of his lips up. “Were you jealous, love?” he asked, and you avoided his eyes. He squeezed your hand again and brought it up to his lips. That got you to look at him, and he pressed a soft kiss to each of your knuckles. “Midoriya’s hand wasn’t even close to being as nice as yours. His were a little chapped, I’m worried about them. Maybe you should get him some of that lotion you use for his birthday.”

This was the Tenya you knew in private, who did enjoy showing you love and care and affection (you know, once you’d both passed the whole awkward first stage of dating and he realized that you were in it for the long term with him, even after the Spider Incident™ and the boys in his year being asked to move into private residences) and you couldn’t help but lean closer to him and curl up next to his side. It was ridiculously sweet that he’d done that for you.

And, of course, now that you’d both talked it out you decided it was time to have a little fun with him. “So that was why you’ve been so weird lately? I thought midterms had caused your wires to get crossed,” you said. You smiled at him while he rolled his eyes. “Or maybe the coffee you spilled on yourself fried your motherboard.”

“Oh you’re very original, (Y/N), so funny,” he said. “I’ll have you know I got that stain out, thank you. And it was tea, you know I don’t drink coffee.” Which, as someone who enjoyed 8am lectures, you had literally no idea how he survived on tea and water. Your boyfriend was definitely some kind of robot. You had yet to prove it, but no one could function as well as he did and not be at least part machine (not that you minded, exactly).

“We really should get you a waterproof case. Maybe an otterbox? They come in all sorts of cute colours,” you told him, reaching forward to grab your plate. Dinner was probably lukewarm at best at this point, but you’d eat it either way with minimal complaining. Tenya did the same with his plate, a smile on his face as he stayed close to you—but still made sure there was enough room so you didn’t elbow each other.

You both ate in comfortable silence for a moment, before another thought occurred to you. “You know, I only saw you and the boys twice… just how long did this go on for?” you asked, and Tenya cleared his throat and grabbed the remote to play the movie. You tried to grab it, but he moved it out of reach and, not wanting to risk dropping your dinner, you elbowed him in the side before he played the movie and turned the volume up loud enough to ensure silence, at least for a little while.

You got an answer out of him later, when the two of you were laying in bed watching some life changing field trips with Zuko, and you couldn’t help but feel a rush of love for the man with his arms wrapped around you and whispering a million and one questions about how the Fire Nation prison and law enforcement systems must work because all he wanted was for you to be happy. You’d never want to ask for anything more.

                                                          ——

Bonus! Epilogue:

You and Tenya were out for lunch on campus with Midoriya and Todoroki a few days later, your boyfriend proudly holding your hand above the table as you talked about funny stories from Midoriya’s EMR course (“Professor Shuzenji asked us what we would do when we respond to a call and find someone with a stab wound and someone seriously shouted ‘Call 911!’ and she actually yelled back ‘YOU ARE 911!’”) and you couldn’t help but smile and be thankful for your boyfriend and your friends and how lucky you are. But as the conversation dwindled, you also knew some words were in order with the two men across from you and Tenya.

“So Tenya told me what you guys were doing. You know, how you were canoodling my boyfriend,” you told the two of them, and you couldn’t help snorting just a little when Midoriya started sputtering and Todoroki dropped his chopsticks.

“We agreed we wouldn’t tell anyone!” Midoriya said, looking at Tenya with his brows furrowed and his mouth pulled down into a frown. You could feel Tenya’s shoulders shake next to you, and it made the smile on your face get even bigger.

“Hey, we were doing it to help you,” Todoroki said. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Iida asked us, if I remember correctly, and we were trying to be good friends.” Tenya shrugged, putting his free hand in the air.

“Yeah he did, but you still agreed to it. And I know you guys and I know you had to be making fun of him too. So if I’m gonna poke fun at him for it then it’s only fair you guys get some of that too,” you said. You leaned forward in your seat, smiling at the green haired male, and then at the two-toned Todoroki in front of you. “So who are we going to start with first? Clammy hands Todoroki, or Midoriya ‘I don’t know how to take care of my skin’ Izuku?” And then you started cackling loudly as they started to protest and draw the attention of everyone else at nearby tables.

Oh, this was going to entertain you for a long time and you were going to love every minute of it.

[pucksnsticksnhockeyboys]

joking about you

summary: four times you thought Matthew was just teasing and the one time you realized he wasn’t.

warnings: mentions of alcohol, swearing, the works

word count: 3.9k

note from the writer: I’m not in love with how the first part or so turned out but it gets better at the end? at least I hope I wrote it at 2 in the morning

i

Crowds were definitely not your favorite thing. Especially when the crowd involved numerous hockey players that were celebrating a win over their division rivals. Normally, you didn’t mind as much, but you were too sober to deal with what the boys were putting you through. More specifically, you were a few drinks short of being able to deal with Matthew. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t like him, in fact, that was the whole problem. You had a massive crush on him, the kind where people who didn’t even know you wondered just how long you had been pining after one of your closest friends. Long story short, you were incredibly obvious in your affection. And it was fine, you were dealing with it, but it didn’t help that Matthew decided his favorite pastime was teasing you about your feelings. 

You had excused yourself from the booth you and a few of the guys and their significant others had claimed, making your way to the bar for a refill. It was only your second drink, having promised Matthew that you would make sure he got home safe. The two of you had a rule that whenever you guys went out together, you would take turns in who would watch over the other. It was a sweet gesture, and Matthew never failed to make sure you were in your own bed by the end of the night. 

“What’re you drinking? I’ll buy it.” A stranger said as he leaned against the bar counter next to you. You smiled at him, not at all interested but still grateful for the gesture. 

“Uh, no thank you. But thanks for offering.” You smiled politely, and just as he opened his mouth to argue your statement a heavy weight fell over your shoulders. You would’ve jumped, but you recognized the newcomer without even having to look.

“Not interested, already on someone else’s tab.” Matthew told the guy smugly, and you rolled your eyes at his cockiness. You weren’t really one his tab, but you would’ve said you were if it got the guy to leave. It did, and you turned to Matthew with a grateful smile. 

“I would’ve scared him off all by myself, you know.” You teased, smile growing wider as Matt laughed at your statement. You were anything but scary, but he didn’t comment on it. The bartender set your drink on the counter, and you took with a polite smile before turning back to Matthew. 

“It’s more fun if I get to chase the guys off. Let ‘em know you’re mine.” He grinned, and your own smile faltered for a moment. You felt your cheeks flush, though you could tell from the slight slur of Matt’s words that he was a few drinks in and wouldn’t notice. You hated how easily he could make your heart skip a beat with comments like the one that he made about you being his. 

“You wish.” You mumbled, brushing past Matthew and back to the table where the rest of the boys were. You slid back into your seat next to Johnny, having lost Matthew in the crowd once he spotted Noah. 

“Where’s your boy off to?” Johnny teased, tapping his glass to yours in an unspoken cheers before taking a sip. You copied his actions, taking the extra moment to compose yourself enough to be able to come up with a response other than ‘he’s not my boy’ that sounded just desperate enough that if he didn’t already know how you felt, he would after. 

“I don’t know what you're talking about.” You settled on saying, despite the fact that it sounded just as desperate and opened the door for Johnny to tease you some more. And as he opened his mouth to just that, you decided to save yourself and change the topic. “We’re still on for brunch tomorrow, right guys?” 

Your question was directed to not only Johnny, but Sean and his wife, and anyone else at the table who was listening. As long they didn’t give Johnny the time he needed to poke fun at your obvious feelings, they were invited. After a few confirmations, you were dragged into conversation with one of the other guys. Before you knew it, Matthew and Noah were stumbling over to the booth, clearly had their fair share of drinks. 

“Ready to go, big guy?” You teased, standing up out of the booth to prepare to leave. Matt nodded, one of his arms slung around your shoulders the moment you were out of the booth. You stumbled a bit under the weight of him, pressing your hand against his chest to try and steady him. 

“You must be so excited to get to take me home.” He shot back, grinning wide with just a hint of smugness that had you rolling your eyes despite the slight blush on your cheeks.

“You wish.” You mumbled, just loud enough that the boys heard, and as you led Matthew out of the bar to wait for the Uber you had ordered, you were followed out by the sound of their hoots and cheers.  

Sometimes, you really hated your friends.

ii

As much as you loved nights out, hanging in with the boys was just as fun. With Johnny and Matthew on either side of you on the couch, you knew that you were in trouble if the moment arised. And arise, it did.

“Why did we let Chucky pick the movie?” Johnny groaned, dropping his head against the back of the couch. His distress earned chuckles from the rest of the guys—them being Noah and Elias. Your snort must have caught his attention, because then he turned to you and the mischievous look in his eyes was easily recognizable. “We get you’re in love with him, but why couldn’t the rest of us tell him no?”

You wished a hole would open up underneath you and swallow you up. Your face burned bright red as you glared at Johnny, your hands fisting at your sweatshirt. The boys were all laughing, chuckling at you and you wondered just why you called them your best friends.

“What can I say, I’m irresistible.” Matt, who had been busying himself with scrolling through the movie selections, decided to pipe up. You shouldn’t have expected him to stay quiet on the subject, always looking for the chance to tease you about your feelings without doing any real harm. You knew the boys would never say anything to intentionally hurt you, but they were hockey players, and getting under someone’s skin was their specialty.

“You wish.” You muttered, though you wished that you could take it back because Matthew viewed that as a challenge and he was easily the most competitive person you knew. His grin turned wicked and he tossed the remote to Noah, deferring movie picking powers to him and his fingers easily dug into your sides. You squealed, trying to escape but he was clearly much stronger than you, and before you even knew it, he had you laying across his lap with your feet in Johnny’s as he continued to tickle you relentlessly.

“Get a room!” Elias jeered, and thankfully the comment made Matthew stop his assault. Though, if the look he was giving you was any indication of what was going to happen next, you were in trouble.

“Why don’t we?” He was wiggling his brows at you suggestively, and you gasped in shock. The boys were laughing as you shoved his shoulder, finally pulling yourself to a sitting position in your previous spot. And, okay, maybe, you would’ve loved to go get a room with Matt, but there was absolutely no way you were ever going to admit it to them—even if they already knew.

“You guys are the worst.”

iii

The house was already packed by the time you arrived, and you were too busy trying to weave your way through the crowd and look over people’s shoulders to find someone you knew that you didn’t notice Matthew approaching until you were wrapped in his arms.

“Hey, Matty.” You greeted, accepting the hug as soon as you realized who it was. You could tell he was already a few drinks in by the way he nuzzled his head deeper into the crook of your neck. You giggled at the feeling of his scruff on your skin, knowing your face was aflame at the small act of affection. You rested your hand on his chest, using it to push him away just enough that you could look up at him. “Who even are all these people?”

“I dunno. Hanny invited them.” You tried not to let it show just how much his touch was affecting you, he always got clingy like this when he drank—except, it was only with you and the guys. You had seen him on more than one occasion pestering Johnny for piggy-back rides that were never a good idea. “C’mon.”

You were going to protest, but then his hand slipped in yours, and suddenly you were being dragged halfway across the party to a pong table you hadn’t seen earlier. When you finally stopped at the edge of the table, you spotted Noah and Johnny were partners, and a pair of annoyed guys who had clearly just lost were vacating the opposite end. Matt slid into their spots, and you were given no choice but to follow after him.

Also, your mind was a bit too hazy to come up with any intelligible remark because he was still holding your hand.

“You guys actually won?” Matt chirped, earning eye rolls from his teammates standing across from him, setting the cups back up. He started to do the same, finally dropping your hand in order to move the cups back in place.

“Okay, Chucky. Wanna put some money where your mouth is?” Johnny teased, and you raised your brows. There was no way you were going to put any money down on a stupid game of beer pong, especially since you were playing with three professional athletes who all had considerable amounts of disposable income. Matthew, on the other hand, wore a grin that grew two sizes at the thought of a bet.

“Alright, what’s the wager?” He encouraged, and you pouted, partly wondering if you could get Matt to put up your side of the bet, and he did owe you gas money. Noah’s smile turned wicked and you knew you were screwed.

“If we win, you guys have to kiss.”

On second thought, you might have a twenty in your wallet you could spare for the game.

“And when we win?” Matt shot back easily, his arm slung over your shoulder to tug you into his side. Your jaw was slack, and your gaze was bouncing between Noah and Johnny and you tried to figure out just why they thought that bet would be a good idea.

“If you win, we’ll tie your skates for you for the next week.” Johnny decided, and you were going to speak and announce that you really weren’t getting anything out of this deal, but you decided that the best thing would be to probably not draw attention to yourself. Your cheeks were surely bright red, and you were rooted in your spot at the mere thought that you would kiss Matt.

“Deal.” Matt grinned, squeezing you into his side before releasing you, getting ready to play. He may have been one of the most clingy people you had ever met, but he also was the most competitive.

You really were not good at beer pong. On a good night, you could usually hold your own. But the whole bet really threw you off your game. Instead of trying to focus on sinking the ping pong ball in the red solo cup, you were too busy trying to figure out just why Matt hadn’t turned down the idea of kissing you. Besides his taunts, you figured he never saw you in any light other than the friendship role you had been stuck in.

“Are you trying to lose?” Matt teased after a particularly terrible shot by you. Johnny had to search through the crowd for the ball, and you narrowed your eyes at the curly haired boy next to you. He was grinning mischievously, and you briefly wondered if he knew just how attractive he looked—and if he was doing it just to see you squirm. “You know, if you wanted to kiss me so bad, you could just ask. You don’t have to throw the game.”

“Oh, fuck off.” You spluttered, unable to form a thought over the idea that maybe his words held a deeper meaning than just to get under your skin. Matt, sensing your annoyance, wrapped an arm around your neck and tugged you into his chest, lips coming down to press a kiss to your hairline as Johnny and Noah laughed obnoxiously at you from across the table.

You and Matt ended up winning, by way of a miracle, and for the next week Johnny and Noah were tying your shoes.

iv

When the boys went on road trips, you got a bit of a reprieve from their teasing. These were the times when you remembered just why they were your closest friends, snapchats of them being idiots in each other’s hotel rooms or wherever they were never failing to make you laugh.

But it was also during these trips that Matthew showed his softer side, especially if they were away for longer periods of time. Currently, they were finishing their east coast trip, a week and a half of being away from home. You had received dozens of snapchats from the boys of Matthew moping around, even a video of him complaining that he missed you. He didn’t know he was being recorded, and you tried to pretend that it didn’t tug at your heartstrings.

Those updates from his teammates were why you weren’t surprised that Matt ended up calling you. It was late in Calgary, so you knew it was really late in New York where he was.

“Hey.” You mumbled into the phone. You were laying in bed, covers pulled up to your chin and already feeling the effects of sleep taking over. But if there ever was a time that you didn’t answer Matt’s calls, something surely must be wrong.

“Hey, you better not be falling asleep on me.” Matt teased, and you hated how you could practically see the grin he was no doubt sporting. Despite your racing heart—and the fact that he couldn’t see you—you rolled your eyes.

“It’s past my bedtime. Might have to call you back tomorrow.” You joked back, though you were rolling over to a more comfortable position to continue the conversation. Matt chuckled, and even though the sound was slightly distorted over the phone, was still the best thing you had ever heard.

“You love me too much, you’d stay awake for hours just to listen to me snore if I asked.” His comment was said offhandedly, and it was obviously a joke, but it struck a chord with you. You sat up in bed, comforter coming to rest around your waist as you pressed your lips into a thin line to try and compose yourself.

“Don’t… just don’t say that.” You settled, though it didn’t make much sense to you, so Matt was understandably confused. You just couldn’t handle it at the moment, the fact that your feelings were so unrequited. You knew it, but he didn’t have to throw it in your face.

“What? That you love me? ‘Cause I know you do.” His tone was somewhere between puzzled and teasing. You squeezed your eyes shut, drawing your knees to your chest as you felt a lump form in your throat.

“Can you stop fucking joking about my feelings? I get that you don’t feel the same, but lay off for a minute, please.” The last thing you wanted was to cry on the phone with him, but about halfway through your first sentence your voice tightened and when you hit the plea, it cracked. You heard Matthew suck in a breath at the sound, and you wondered if you took it a step too far.

But you also knew this was a conversation you needed to have. You were done just sitting by and letting him tease and poke fun at how flustered you’d get around just because you were harboring feelings for him. He hadn’t done anything inherently wrong, but you just needed him to know how it was affecting you.

You were brought back to the moment by Matthew mumbling your name softly, and you bit your lip at how easily it slipped past his lips. How right it felt for him to be saying your name in the gentle way he did. You knew he was thinking of what to say next, probably some elaborate way to let you down easily while still preserving your friendship. And nothing seemed worse than hearing him feed you some lines about how you could still be friends and that it wouldn’t be awkward next time you hung out—it would, and you knew that. And once more, despite knowing he couldn’t see you, you shook your head, pinching the bridge of your nose in a desperate bid to keep the tears at bay.

“Goodnight, Matthew. I’ll see you when you guys get back, I guess.”

v

You hated to admit it, but you were ignoring not only Matt’s texts, but also the messages from his teammates. It was only the day after you blew up, hanging up on him before he got a chance to explain himself, but you were already feeling the effects of losing one of your closest friends.

A knock on your front door startled you, you weren’t expecting anyone and when you looked through the peephole, you felt a heavy weight settle in your stomach. You knew you couldn’t avoid him forever, but his plane had landed only half an hour ago—you had assumed you’d at least get a few days respite before one of the boys showed up and made you face the consequences of your actions.

Swinging your door open, the curly haired boy wasted no time in slipping past you and into your apartment, shedding his coat and dropping his keys beside yours on the small table you had by the door. Your stomach twisted at how domestic it felt, him coming home to you after his latest roadie.

“Why the fuck don’t I have a key to your apartment?” Matt asked, finally speaking. He had made it a few steps inside before turning to face you with a genuinely confused expression. You were so caught off guard, because that was certainly not what you thought he’d ask you first, that you answered genuinely with the first thing that came to mind.

“Why the fuck would you?” At your response, Matt’s puzzled pout turned to a grin. You wondered if he just wasn’t going to bring up what had transpired over the phone the previous night. You were already falling back into your typical back and forth, but like usual, you weren’t so lucky.

“Because people who are in love have keys to the other’s apartments.” Matt explained easily, like he always did, and you brushed past him. You weren’t sure where you were headed exactly, but you really didn’t need to be around him when he refused to acknowledge the fact that you were upset by his teasing. “Or not. Maybe we could move in with each other.” He had followed you, the kitchen is where you ended up and you braced yourself against the counter, back to him.

“Can you please stop joking? Just leave, if you can’t help yourself.” You snapped, knuckles turning white from how hard you were gripping the edge of the countertop.

“I’m not leaving, and I don’t know why you keep thinking I’m joking.” Matt’s tone was devoid of any of his usual teasing, only seriousness evident in his tone. Your shoulders slouched at his comment, and you slowly turned to find him standing just a few inches away from you. One of his hands fell to the counter beside you, the other reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of your face, his fingers ghosting down the side of your jaw until he was tilting your chin up towards him with his index and thumb. “You’ve never been a joke to me.”

And then his lips were on yours, and you felt every longing look shared, unnecessary touch, and forehead kisses that were simply his way of convery how he felt. You would get flustered, he would want to pull you into his lap and make jokes about how you belonged there—because to him, you did. Every comment you thought was a jab at how you felt was just Matt trying to get you to realize how he felt.

It was so goddamn annoying, and so Matthew, that you couldn’t help but laugh into the kiss.

“What? I’m not that bad at kissing, am I?” Matt grinned as he pulled away just enough to look at you. You rolled your eyes, Matt was a fantastic kisser and he knew it, he just wanted to hear you say it.

“You couldn’t have just told me that you like me, you just had to go and tease me every chance you got, huh?” Your hands, at some point that you don’t really remember, had found their way around his neck and were threaded in the curls on the back of his head. The grin he wore was devastatingly handsome, and you easily gave him the kiss he ducked down towards you in search of.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” He muttered against your lips, kissing you after the end of his sentence. “I wanted to see how long it took before you admitted that you like me.” Another kiss. You tilted your head back and laughed at the absurdity of it all, how not even two minutes earlier you were ready to kick him out of your apartment and now you were certain you were going to die if he even thought about leaving.

“Bet that didn’t go as planned. You know, me hanging up on you, one comment away from crying.” You teased, and a look of regret flashed in his eyes that had his smile melting off of his face. His hands moved to your waist, as if keeping you in place so you couldn’t run, not that you would.

“I made you cry?” He sounded so devastated by your confession, fingers flexing against you as he squeezed your hips. You reached up, cupping his face and absolutely melting at the way he leaned into your touch. Your thumb brushed across his cheekbone, and he softened a bit.

“Don’t worry, Matty. It’s fine.” He didn’t seem convinced, and you leaned up onto your tip-toes to peck his lips once more. “I know a few ways you could make it up to me.” You pressed a kiss to his jaw, giggling when he nodded his head emphatically like a little kid. His mischievous grin was back, and you decided then and there you would spend the rest of your life trying to get him to smile.

“Lead the way.”

[americasass91]

Last Kiss

Hello lovelies!! I’m back with my second submission to @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ awesome Autumn challenge! This one once again stars Ransom! It’s not as smutty as I usually do(I know, what’s wrong with me?). There’s also a quote from Grey’s Anatomy in here. Every time I hear it, I get chills. Also there are flashbacks and those will be in italics. Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy!!

Verbal Prompts:

“I love you, Jerkface.”

“It’s all just a bunch of Hocus Pocus

Location/Activity Prompts:

Fall Festival

Hayride

Walking through a park with leaves

Words:4.9k

Rating: Explicit(Maybe Mature?)

Warnings: Angst, Ransom being an asshole, some smut, language

September 22nd, 2019. Today was the first official day of Fall. It used to be your favorite time of the year. Nothing made you happier than the colder weather, the leaves changing colors, and of course Halloween.

That was all tainted now by memories of him.

It was all your fault really. Your friends told you not to get involved with him. Told you it would end in nothing but heartbreak. You really wished you would’ve listened to them. It would have definitely saved you a lot of heartache.

You can’t believe you wasted 3 years of your life with him. 3 years you would never get back. The only good thing about any of it is the lessons you learned from the failed relationship.

They say it takes 2 people to make a relationship fail. You don’t think that’s the case this time. You were totally and 100% devoted to him and making it work. You thought he was as well. You thought wrong.

September 3rd, 2015

You really hated going to the clubs. Why go out when you could be on your couch huddled under a plethora of blankets and binge watching your newest obsession, Schitt’s Creek?

But, unfortunately you had promised your friends you would stop being a hermit and rejoin society for the evening.

So you put on some black leggings, a long burgundy sweater, and some black ankle boots and head to your friends. You decided to walk since it was only a couple of blocks from your apartment.

The smile couldn’t leave your face if you wanted it to on your little walk. The air was chilly, Fall was definitely almost here. Boston was the most beautiful place during Fall. You couldn’t wait for the hayrides, getting lost in a corn maze, and delicious hot apple cider.

You finally reach the club and head inside to find your friends. It takes you no time at all to spot them at a table near the back. You head to the bar to order a drink before heading to your girls.

It’s crowded tonight so you find the only open spot and squeeze your way through and attempt to flag down the busy bartender.

After a few minutes of failed attempts you decide to sit on the stool and patiently wait until he comes over to you.

“Having trouble getting his attention, sweetheart?”

You turn your head to the left and you momentarily forget how to speak. This man attempting to start a conversation with you is beautiful. You’d say handsome but that’s not nearly good enough. He has amazing blue eyes that you feel yourself getting lost in. He chuckles when he realizes the effect he has on you. It shakes you out of your trance.

“Sorry, my brain quit working there for a minute. Yes, I can’t seem to get his attention.”

He smiles and takes a sip of what you assume is whiskey in his glass. He gives you a quick wink before turning his attention to the bartender. “Hey, Earl! This gorgeous lady here would like a drink.”

You blush furiously. He just called you gorgeous. When he looks like the walking version of Adonis.

Earl comes right over. “Sorry dear. Super busy tonight. What can I get for you?”

Still being in a Fall mood you decide on an Angry Orchard.

He nods and goes to get it for you.

“I never would have pegged you as a hard cider girl.” The beautiful mystery man says as he not-so-discreetly checks you out.

“I guess I’m full of surprises. Thanks though for getting his attention. Are you guys friends? He came over here right away.”

“Nah, I just spend a lot of money here so he never makes me wait. I guess you could say I’m at the top of his priority list.” He gives you a heart stopping smile when Earl comes back over and sets your Cider in front of you.

“That’ll be 4.50 hun.”

As you’re reaching for your wallet, the mysterious man speaks up again. “Put it on my tab Earl. In fact, put whatever else she drinks tonight on my tab, too.”

Earl nods and goes to tend to one of the many other patrons. You look wide eyed over at the stranger. “Thank you but I can’t let you do that. You don’t even know me.”

“Well let’s remedy that shall we? I’m Ransom.” He holds out his hand to you.

You gladly shake it. “Y/N. What are these drinks going to cost me, Ransom?”

He releases your hand as he smirks at you. “Well gorgeous, what will it get me?”

You put your finger to your chin and ponder for a moment. “Hmmm. Well I guess you could take me out on a date.”

He grins even wider. “Done. How about next Friday night? Say 7? We could meet here?”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then, handsome-I mean, Ransom.” You wink as you grab your drink and head over to your friends.

“Geez took you long enough!” Jessica exclaims as you sit beside her.

“Sorry! I was in the middle of staring at the hottest man I’ve ever seen. And I must have charmed him because I have a date next Friday!”

Your 3 friends look towards the bar. “Okay, which lucky guy is it babe?” Rachel wants to know as she looks back at you.

“That one, in the blue sweater. His name is Ransom.” You point discreetly towards him.

Jessica looks at you with wide eyes. “No, Y/N! You can’t go out with him! He’s an asshole! Like I’m talking major asshole. He changes girlfriends like he changes underwear! Go cancel it.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard nothing but horrible things, Y/N. Save yourself the heartbreak and go end it now.” Rachel agrees with Jessica.

You can’t believe them. The first date you’ve had in god knows how long and they are both trying to shut you down. You turn towards Sophie, who has remained unusually quiet. “Well what about you, Soph? What’s your opinion?”

She glances over at him. “Look, I’ve also heard he’s an asshole but I also heard he’s phenomenal in bed so what’s wrong with her getting some?” She then directs her gaze at Jess and Rachel.

“Nothing is wrong with that at all! We just know how she gets. She can’t just sleep with him and then be done. That’s not her. She’ll catch feelings. Like always.”

You glare over at Jessica. “First of all stop talking about me like I’m not even here! And yes I know I’ve managed to catch feelings in the past but for Christ’s sake it’s just a date! It’s not like I accepted a marriage proposal. Who said I’d even want to see him again after Friday?”

You regret more than anything not canceling that date.

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October 27th, 2015

By now you were on your 10th date with Ransom. You had suggested a horror movie marathon at your place which he graciously accepted. You were still trying to find the asshole part of him. He’s been nothing but amazing to you so far.

You answer the door as soon as you hear him knocking. He greets you with a huge smile and a bag of snacks. “Hi, gorgeous.” He drops the bag and pulls you in for a searing kiss. This is as far as you two had gone and you were hoping to change that tonight.

You smile as you break from the kiss. “What movie do you want to start with first?”

He picks up the bag and hands it to you as he heads into the living room. “Why not start with a classic? Halloween.” He picks it up and heads to put it in the DVD player.

“Perfect! I’ll go get the drinks and snacks.”

After grabbing a couple of beers and some popcorn you head back in to find Ransom all comfy on your couch. He smiles and opens his arms for you. You happily oblige and get settled in them before pressing play.

You make it til almost the end before the kissing starts. Which leads to you straddling him. Which then leads to grinding down on his growing erection.

He groans and pulls out of the kiss. “Should we take this to your bedroom, gorgeous?”

You nod enthusiastically and lead him to it.

Well Sophie was definitely right about one thing, he was phenomenal in bed.

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November 15th, 2015

You’ve officially been dating Ransom for about 2 months now. And you couldn’t be happier.

You were currently in the throes of passion and tangled up in the sheets with Ransom buried deep inside of you.

“Come on, gorgeous. Move those hips faster. You’re the one that wanted to be on top.” He smacks your ass and grabs onto your hips.

You place your hands on his chest and move as fast as your body will allow. “I’m going as fast as I can, Ran. You could help you know.”

He smirks as he sits up and starts meeting your thrusts. He grabs onto your hips and starts basically moving them for you. All you can do is wrap your arms around his neck and hang on for the ride. You know you’re about to fall over the edge.

“God damn, gorgeous. I can feel you squeezing me tight. Come on, come for me. Make a mess all over this big cock.” He moves one hand and starts rubbing your clit in hard circles. That’s all you needed. You come with a scream of his name. Your release triggers his. He whispers your name as he spills inside of you. He thrusts into you a few more times before he stills and pulls you in for a hug.

After a few minutes both of your breathing comes back to normal. He pulls back a little and tucks some hair behind your ear. He cups your face and runs his thumb over your cheek. He pulls you in for a breathtaking kiss. So different from the heated ones you were sharing not even 2 minutes ago. He pulls away and looks at you with what you can only describe as love in his eyes.

“I love you, Y/N. I know it’s only been 2 months but, I do.”

A smile breaks out across your face. “Thank god you said it. I’ve been wanting to say it for weeks now!”

He gets the biggest smile on his face. “You have not! You’re just saying that because I was brave enough to say it first you chicken!” He says teasingly as he starts peppering kisses over your neck, causing you to giggle.

You gasp, pretending to be offended. “Chicken? Excuse you, I am no chicken. I just didn’t want to scare you away!”

He starts poking right under your ribs, knowing how ticklish you are. “You couldn’t scare me away even if you tried, chicken.”

You try to pull out of his grasp but he holds you even tighter. He pulls you back in for another toe curling kiss.

You pull enough away so that you can tell him, “I love you, Jerkface.”

He throws his head back in laughter. “I love you, too, gorgeous girl.”

September 1st, 2016

You were wrapped up in Ransom’s arms and listening to the sound of the rain hitting the windows. You both decided today was a great day to stay in bed and do nothing. You had recently moved in with Ransom and so far things had been amazing. Sure you had the occasional spat but the make-up sex was always fantastic. Sometimes you think he starts them on purpose.

You were almost asleep when you heard Ransom say something. You gaze sleepily up at him. “I’m sorry Ran, I didn’t hear you. What was that?”

He continues running his hand through your hair as he smiles down at you. “I asked if you wanted to go to the Fall Festival when it’s up and running? I know it’s your favorite thing.”

You sit up a little and look down at him. “Ransom, you hate the Fall Festival. You wouldn’t go with me last year.”

“Yeah, well I want to take you this year. I even promise to enjoy myself. Please?”

Well how could you say no to that?

“Okay, fine. You’ve pulled my leg.”

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October 21st, 2016

As soon as Ransom pulled into the festival you started squealing with excitement. He couldn’t help but laugh at your eagerness, almost feeling it himself. Nervous, but eager nonetheless.

You both get out of the car and head towards the gate. “What do you want to do first, Ransom?”

He pretends to ponder it for a moment. “How about we get you some cider and then go for a hayride?”

You beam up at him. “Perfect!”

You can’t help but notice as you’re in line for the hayride how weird Ransom is acting.

“You okay, babe? You’ve been acting off all day.”

He looks down at you. “Uh, yeah. Fine. Just a lot on my mind. Nothing for you to worry about.”

You furrow your brows. “Are you sure? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

Before he has a chance to reply, you’re being called for the next hayride.

You’re relaxing against Ransom and enjoying the beautiful view when he clears his throat. You give him a questioning look.

“Y/N. I know we haven’t been together terribly long and have only been living together for a few months but”...he reaches into his brown coat pocket and pulls out a small box. You gasp and put your hand over your mouth... “You have really changed my life for the better. You make me so happy and I just want to do the same for you. So with that being said”...He opens the box and reveals a beautiful diamond ring...“Will you marry me?”

You can’t even speak. You have tears pouring down your face. You are beyond happy. You furiously nod your head and throw your arms around his neck. He reciprocates the hug and wraps his arms around you. You hear clapping coming from the other people on the hayride.

He pulls away from you and grabs your left hand. He places the diamond on your finger. “Thank you gorgeous girl.”

“Thank you for what?”

“Making me the happiest I think I’ve ever been.”

“Is this why you wanted to bring me to the festival?”

He looks away sheepishly. “Well, yeah. What better way to propose to a girl who loves Fall than on a hayride?”

You smile and give him a kiss. “You know we’re having a Fall wedding right?”

He chuckles. “I wouldn’t expect anything different. But can we be engaged for a while? Just enjoy it before the headache of wedding planning takes over?”

“Fine with me, handsome.”

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September 15th, 2018

With the wedding only a little over a month away, you were super busy. Not only did you have work but now you had to plan a wedding too.

Ransom didn’t help with it. He said he wanted you to do what you wanted and he’d be happy.

Well easier said than done. Of course your girls helped you out. After they got over the initial shock of Ransom proposing, they were on board for a Fall wedding and you couldn’t have gotten the planning done without them.

The stress of the wedding has really been taking its toll on you and Ransom. You guys have been fighting a lot more recently. You’ve actually taken your ring off a few times and threw it at him, claiming you could never marry a child like him. Of course that always blew over in a few hours and he would slide the ring right back on as he fucked you against the nearest surface.

You guys haven’t had much time together lately what with you working and wedding planning. You were in some desperate need of Ransom.

You decided to leave work at noon today to surprise him.

On your way home you stopped by his favorite sandwich shop to pick up lunch and even stopped by a bakery for some cookies. Pumpkin chocolate chip. His favorite.

You smile when you see his Beemer in the driveway. You couldn’t wait to see him. And let’s be real, fuck him.

Your smile falters however as you’re unlocking the door. You hear some odd noises coming from the kitchen.

You turn the corner and stop dead in your tracks. You drop everything in your hands to the floor. There was your fiancé, with some girl bent over the kitchen counter, fucking into her without abandon.

He looks over at the noise and notices the food spilled all over the floor. He moves his gaze up your body and reaches your tear-filled eyes. He holds out his finger to you, asking you to hold on a minute.

Your jaw drops. Not only is he fucking some bitch against YOUR kitchen counter, he has the audacity to tell you to wait?

He turns his attention back to the whore in front of him and picks up his pace a little. You can’t stand there any longer. You head upstairs to your shared bedroom and start looking for your suitcase. You find it buried in the closet and throw it opened onto the bed. You start throwing clothes into it, not even bothering to fold anything. You are trying your hardest not to let the tears fall. You couldn’t let him see you cry.

A few minutes later you hear him come into the room. “Y/N, what do you think you’re doing?”

You stop rummaging through your underwear drawer and turn towards him. He’s standing at the doorway looking shocked that you’re packing. “Excuse me, shouldn’t I have asked you that question when I walked in and found you fucking some random girl in our kitchen?”

He rolls his eyes as he walks in the room and starts taking your clothes out of the suitcase. “Would you calm down? It’s not like you’ve been willing lately. Had to find somebody else to take care of my needs.”

He was saying this like it was no big deal. You couldn’t believe it. Sure you’d been stressed and tired lately and had turned down a couple advances from him. But you had sex only 2 weeks ago so it hasn’t even been that long. You started yelling. “It’s been 2 weeks Ransom! Not 2 years! I’m sorry I’ve been busy working and planning our wedding alone!”

He once again rolls his eyes as he crosses his arms. You start throwing your clothes back in the suitcase. “You’re not leaving. It’s your fault I had to go find some slut to get off. You’ve been turning me down and acting like a real bitch lately. What did you expect me to do?”

You close your suitcase and zip it up. You look at him, the tears trying desperately to fall down your face. “I expected you to be faithful to me no matter what. But I guess that was asking too much.”

You brush past him and head down the stairs. You can hear him stomping behind you. “So that’s it? You find me fucking someone else and you’re done? What about all the others, huh?”

You stop dead in the hallway and turn around. “How many others have there been Ransom? Have you been faithful to me at all?”

He comes over and puts his hands on your shoulders. “I don’t think it really matters how many others. Haven’t I been nothing but good to you? What’s it matter if I fuck someone else from time to time?”

You shrug out of his grasp. “You just don’t get it do you? Am I not enough for you? Before this wedding planning we were having sex everyday! What more could you want?”

He puts his hands on his hips. “No, sometimes you’re not enough Y/N. Sometimes I want something different. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still love you.” That did it. The tears started falling. You weren’t enough, apparently you’ve never been enough.

“I deserve someone who thinks I am enough, Ransom. You were always more than enough for me. I guess I was asking too much for the same in return. Now you can go fuck anyone you want. Don’t let me stand in your way.”

You turn to leave and feel him grab your arm. He makes you drop your suitcase and spins you around. He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you in for a kiss. The tears are really falling now. You realize this will be the last time you kiss Ransom Drysdale so you indulge yourself a little and kiss him back. You wrap your arms around his neck and thread your fingers through his hair. He tries to push you back against the wall, that’s when you come back to reality.

You pull away from him and step back. “No, Ransom. You can’t just kiss me and make this better. Nothing is going to make this better. I’m done.”

“Then why the fuck did you kiss me back?”

You pick up your suitcase off the floor. “I guess I just wanted a last kiss from you.”

You turn to leave when he yells at you. “You could at least have the decency to give me back the fucking ring I spent 50 grand on!”

That struck a nerve. You drop your suitcase by the door. “You want it back? Fine!”

You head into the kitchen and remove the ring from your finger. You take a moment to look at it one more time. It really was beautiful.

You hear Ransom come into the kitchen. “Y/N, what are you doing? Give it to me!”

You chuck the ring down the sink drain and flip the switch for the disposal. You turn around to leave and see Ransom standing there with his mouth hanging open. “You fucking bitch! I was going to return that to get my money back!”

You don’t even respond. You just head towards the door and grab your suitcase and don’t look back.

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January 20th, 2019

Your friends allowed you to cry over Ransom for only a few months before they came to your apartment and did an intervention. You had only been leaving for work and groceries. Listening to Taylor Swift’s song, Last Kiss, on repeat.

You were thankful for them. Not once did any of your friends say I told you so. But they did all threaten to castrate him.

They also told you that the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else. So you did, a few times.

You decided that tonight was another great night to take someone home. You were hoping it would be this guy at the bar you've been staring at for the past hour.

You decide to just go for it. You ask your friends if you look okay before you start your way towards him. Unfortunately you were stopped about halfway there. By none other than Ransom.

“Well, look who we have here. Y/N, nice to see you.”

You knew this moment would come eventually. You’d been practicing what you were going to say to him. “Hugh, wish I could say the same.”

“Hugh? Ouch. I remember a time when you were moaning Ransom, sweetheart.”

“Yeah well you did a good job to make sure that wouldn’t happen again.”

“Who says it couldn’t? I wouldn’t mind taking you home tonight.” He runs a finger down your arm.

“Ugh, pass.” You start to walk past him. But of course he wasn’t done running his mouth.

“Oh, so you can whore around town and fuck random strangers but you won’t go to bed with me?”

You whip around and glare at him. “What did you just say to me?”

He crosses his arms over his chest and smirks at you. “Yeah, I heard you’ve been sleeping around. Turning into a little whore. I’m proud.”

You walk up and slap him hard across the face. Everyone in the bar has stopped to stare at the two of you. “You don’t get to call me a whore. I’m sorry that I thought you were going to be the person I spent the rest of my life with. You were it for me, Hugh. But you had to go and fuck someone else. So yes, I slept with a few people to try and forget you. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. If anything, you’re the whore.”

He stands there, mouth agape, with his hand over his cheek where you had slapped him.

You don’t even give him time to say anything. You head back over to your friends. They all high five you and tell you how amazing you had been.

Ransom feels all eyes on him and decides it’s probably best if he leaves.

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Since Ransom ruined Fall for you last year, you decided to enjoy every second of it this year. Your goal for the day was to take a nice long walk in the park and then go to dinner with your girls tonight.

You get dressed in a pair of black leggings and a grey sweatshirt that says ‘It’s just a bunch of Hocus Pocus’ from your favorite movie ever.

You put on your tennis shoes and grab your keys and a 5 from your wallet and head out.

You moved to New York a few months ago for a new job. You love it here. And so far Fall is just as beautiful here as it was in Boston. The only downside was you missed your friends. That’s why you were so excited for dinner tonight. They were coming in just to see you. Okay and to shop.

You gasp as you enter the park. The leaves are just beautiful. Orange, yellow, and red as far as the eye can see. You can’t help but smile. You just know this Fall will be better than last year was. You just have a feeling.

You spot a cart selling hot apple cider. You remove the 5 from the pocket in your leggings and stand in line. You thank the man who hands it to you and tell him to keep the change. Nothing is going to ruin your mood today.

You start leisurely strolling down a random path and just enjoy the crisp autumn air. There’s a chill to it today and you absolutely love it. You take a sip of your cider. It’s perfect.

You look to your left and see children laughing and jumping into piles of leaves. That was your favorite activity when you were a kid. You smile and go to take another sip of your cider. But before it reaches your mouth, it’s knocked from your grasp. Something has hit you from behind. You start to fall forward and reach your hands out to brace yourself. But then you feel a pair of hands grab your waist.

You hear a deep voice behind you. “Oh my god! Are you okay? I’m so sorry! I was trying to change a song on this stupid IPod and didn’t see you!.”

You turn around and get ready to give whoever ran into you a piece of your mind. But you’re stopped cold. There's a pair of beautiful blue eyes looking back at you. You quickly shake your head and move your gaze over his face. He looked almost familiar. Almost like Ransom. But more handsome if that was possible. He had the same blue eyes but instead of brown he had a gorgeous head of blonde hair.

Once you realize he’s still holding onto you and you’re staring at him like a creeper,  you take a step back and clear your throat. “Oh, it’s okay. No blood, no foul.”

He smiles at you as he gives you a once over. “You sure? I didn’t injure you did I?”

You return his smile. “Not at all.” You hold your hand out. “I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

He shakes your hand. “Steve, nice to meet you too.” His gaze lowers to your shirt. “You like Hocus Pocus, too?”

You reluctantly release his hand. “Like it? It’s only my favorite movie.”

“One of mine too! Autumn is actually my favorite time of the year.”

You smile widely. “Me too! It’s the best!”

His gaze then falls to the ground behind you. “Oh, did I make you spill your cider? Please let me buy you another one. I know how important hot cider can be on a chilly day.” He holds out his arm for you to take.

You loop your arm through his. “Are you sure? You really don’t have to.”

He starts walking in the direction of the cider cart. “Of course I do. Besides it gives me an excuse to keep talking to the beautiful girl I almost ran over.”

You look down and blush. You knew this Fall was going to be better. You just felt it.

Every Cevans character tag list: @stargazingfangirl18​

[izzy-b-hands]

Routine

I fully own this is incredibly self-indulgent. 

A bit of Freddie/Reader, with Freddie helping the Reader out with the changing of their testosterone patches (something I use myself, so this is my admission that this is completely echoing my own experience here with them.) 

Also some smut, because I've been in that sort of way lately when it comes to writing lol.

My thanks to Rushing and Finn on the DL Server for beta reading this and helping out with the editing process!

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

"I'll only be a few moments," you say, and slip into the bathroom of your and Freddie's hotel room. 

You've been with Freddie for awhile now, but even so, you've not yet had to change your testosterone patches in front of him. It isn't that you've hidden it or anything (and he knows well that you're trans and that you use the patches; he's seen them on your body after all.) It just simply hasn't happened where he was around to watch it happen.

Part of it is that they need changing in the evening, and usually you just dip away and do it quick and then come back to wherever you might be at the time: home on the couch with Freddie, on tour and in a hotel bar with the lads, etc. 

But now he opens the door as you're mid-patch removal on the first of the two you wear each day, and he winces as much as you do as the tough adhesive refuses to let go of your leg hair and skin. 

"This is why you said it's better to take them off in the shower or bath?" he asks, and sits on the edge of the tub. 

You nod, and keep gently tugging at the patch as the edges come slowly off. 

"Would warm water help?"

You nod again, but don't stop. If you stop, then you'll really feel the pain of pulling it off, and that's no good. 

He hisses in pain as the patch finally comes away. "You said something once about rinsing the spots after you take those off too, didn't you?"

"Yeah," you reply as you set the first spent patch on the counter and reach for the second one still on your thigh. 

He stands and gently grabs your wrist with one hand, the other snagging a clean washcloth off the counter. "Let me help."

You watch as he wets the washcloth under the sink with warm water, then kneels in front of you.

You'd taken off your trousers and pants for this; easier to be nude than to try and worry about getting water on your clothes while rinsing the spots down before putting on new patches. 

Which makes it incredibly intimate, to have Freddie kneeled there. It's not the first time he's been in that position, sucking at your small cock, fingers in your cunt. But this is different, and intimate in an entirely different and affectionate way. 

He rinses over the spot where the first patch was first, wincing at the raised skin as his fingers trail over it. "That's normal, right?"

"It is," you reply, and run your hands through his hair, unable to help yourself. "Between the adhesive, the aluminium in the patch, and the T gel, it can be a little harsh on the skin. Doesn't help that my skin is sensitive to start. But I'll take this over needles, for now at least." 

He nods, and leans in to kiss the spot, but you stop him with a touch to his cheek. 

"There's residue, might not taste the best."

He shrugs, and kisses just beside the spot instead. 

"If this hurts too much, let me know," he murmurs, and uses the washcloth to dab at the edges of the patch, only working to pull the tab of it up once it's sufficiently damp. 

It's better than pulling it off completely dry, and you can't help but moan a little at the relief. It's always nice, taking the used ones off at the end of the day, but having someone else do it for you? A wonderful dream you hadn't even realized you'd had. 

He kisses your hip, and giggles as he keeps working. You've never told him your method with a washcloth, but he's picked up on it regardless, alternating between dabbing at the patch and gently tugging it off your skin. 

Once it's off, he stands briefly to set it on the counter by the first, and rewets the washcloth. 

He returns to his knees and rinses off the second spot, but there's a glint in his eye this time. 

"If you'd rather not have me do this, just say and I'll stop," he says. "But forgive me the urge..."

Even as he moves the washcloth over the spot, he leans forward to kiss your hip, the top of your mons. His tongue flicks out to lick at your cock, then down to your folds. 

His free hand reaches to your ass, to hold you close to his mouth as he works to suck at your cock. His eyes are shut, long lashes gorgeous, but for a moment he blinks and those brown eyes meet yours, and you melt.

After another few moments, he abandons the second spot and tosses the washcloth to the counter.

You take the opportunity to move and lean your back against the counter, spreading your legs wider as he adjusts himself on the floor. 

"If your knees hurt, we can move to the bed," you suggest, but he shakes his head and reaches for the dirty towel you'd used during your shower earlier, tossed to the floor because frankly that's what you'd both been doing to ensure you didn't confuse clean towels for dirty or vice versa. He folds it quickly and moves enough to shove it under his knees. 

"You've got a solution for everything," you smile, again brushing your fingers through his thick hair as he kisses at your thighs. 

He shakes his head slightly and smirks before sucking again at your cock, moaning around it. He makes it no secret that he gets off on being able to get you off like this, and there's the added sweetness of what he did for you with the patches making it even better now. 

Because truly, it's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you. It's not just additional acceptance of that part of you, it's the concern and care and love that inspired him to follow you in to begin with. That he wanted to see this part of your life, this little day to day thing that's become as important as drinking water or brushing your teeth. 

His arms loop around your thighs, helping to hold you up as his tongue alternates between your cock and inside your folds, licking and sucking and leaving you weak in the knees. 

"Freddie," you try and forewarn him the closer you get to your orgasm, but he only sucks harder at your cock.

You nearly fold in on yourself as you come, thighs shaking as you try not to trap his face in between them. 

You end up pushed up on the counter some as he suddenly scoops you up and swings your legs over his shoulders, holding you in place with his arms while his mouth stays busy at your cunt. 

He only stops once you've come back down to yourself, and he sits back looking utterly pleased. 

"Did that help to ease the hurt of those some? That's what my idea was, after all."

You slip down to the floor and kiss him with a smile. "It did. Do you want to help me put the new ones on too?"

He nods, and stands with you, watching as you free the first one from its packaging. 

"Let me," he takes the patch from you, and waits for you to point to a spot on your other thigh. 

"Just make sure and press round the edges of it," you instruct as he places it, fingers gentle on your skin. "Give the adhesive time to take hold."

"It certainly fucking holds though," he remarks, but his fingers stipple over the edges of the patch until it seems firmly set. 

"It does, but not if you don't press it on well and make sure not to get it wet for three hours," you chuckle. 

"No shower together tonight then?"

"In three hours from now, sure," you reply. "But not before, or these could slip off me."

He nods, and takes the second patch from you once you have it ready. 

You point to another spot near the first new patch, and lean into his touch as he places the second patch. 

His fingers press the edges of it down, then move to trace the slightly dark circles from past patches that are fading all over your thighs, then to the ones on your hips and stomach. The ones on your upper arms have faded more, but a few have bruises from where you failed to stop itching them, after the patch was off. It almost tickles, the way they linger on your skin. Softly, sweetly, the same way he'd touch you while laying together in bed.

You rest your head against his chest, and hug him close. "Thank you. For everything."

He hugs you back, and kisses your forehead. "Of course. Now, shall we get back to the bar downstairs? See if the boys managed to leave our drinks alone while we were gone?"

"I should probably put on pants and trousers first."

"Overrated, but if you insist," he giggles. "We'll only be taking them off later."

"True," you smile, but you redress regardless. 

---

Later, downstairs sitting at the bar, your hand twitches as you try to itch through your trousers at the still irritated spots from the used patches. 

Without a word, Freddie reaches over and takes your hand in his, and gives it a reassuring squeeze.

[evilmuffinlord]

Strangers in a Strange Land- Chapter 7- Alpenglow

Cover art by the lovely @wolfy1298!

Chapter 7 is finally up! Thank you all for your patience, and I hope you enjoy!

Summary: In which  a mission is issued, mountain is made into a molehill, and revelations come to light.

Read it on AO3:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/20280019/chapters/71821803 Read it on FF.net: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13365894/7/Strangers-in-a-Strange-Land

Teaser under cut:

Astera was abuzz with activity, to the point that it was even busier than before the first attempt to capture Zorah Magdaros. Cannons and cannonballs were piled in teetering mountains that threatened to crush any unfortunate souls that bumped into them. Members of the logistics division dashed to and fro, carrying crates of supplies to whichever section needed them. High above, the workshop was working overtime, cranking out weapons and armor as fast as they could be put into the hands of waiting Commission Members.

Izuku looked over all of this from the raised command deck, thankful not to be caught in the melee. It reminded him of the trains back in Mustafu city during rush hour. People were just as likely to shout at anyone who got in their way here as they had been back home, which was comforting in some ways. He could almost close his eyes and feel like he was back home.

Before he could get lost in the noise, the Commander’s booming voice caught his attention.

“Now that everyone is here, it’s time we began our briefing,” he said, thumping the table for emphasis.

The table, like the rest of Astera, was absolutely covered in supplies for the upcoming mission. Maps and charts for both sea and land overlapped each other, and stacks of requisition forms and mission briefs towered over them all. Interspersed with it all were numerous empty and half empty inkwells that threatened to shower everyone and everything with ink if the papers beneath them were disturbed. 

Surrounding the table were representatives from each division of the Commission, each looking haggard from the long hours they had been putting in to arrange the assault on the Elder Dragon. 

By comparison, Izuku and Mina looked exceedingly fresh, having got a full night of sleep and a full meal before coming to the meeting, which just served to make Izuku feel even more out of place. The others here had been integral to designing and arranging their plan at every step of the way. Izuku, meanwhile, had only relayed what information he and Mina had gleaned from the First Wyverian and given his thoughts on the nature of the “Everstream” that the being had mentioned. They weren’t even particularly insightful thoughts, in his opinion, since anyone would have come to similar conclusions with the evidence before them. The Commander and Field Team Leader had jumped on them, though, and started basing a large amount of the operation around them, which made Izuku feel more than a little bashful.

“Now, thanks to the diligent efforts of our star hunters from the Fifth fleet, we finally have some insight into Zorah Magdaros’s intentions. It is following a path of concentrated energy henceforth referred to as the ‘Everstream,’ a path that will lead it inward towards the center of the New World. Unfortunately, it is carrying an immense amount of bioenergy with it, energy which threatens to turn this entire land into a blasted hellscape if it is unleashed.”

A ripple of worry and confusion passed through the division heads. They had known about it ahead of time—the Commander had made sure that everyone had gotten a report about it—but it was different to hear the facts stated so plainly, and by someone so authoritative. Even Izuku, who had known before anyone, felt his stomach clench at the Commander’s words. 

“Commander, shouldn’t we begin to evacuate Astera?” the Analytics Director asked. “The Third Fleet’s mobile base could carry a large number of people…”

“Not all of them, though,” the Smithy pointed out.

“And not nearly fast enough,” the Chief Botanist added. “No, our only hope is to take down Zorah Magdaros.”

“Quite the tall order, considering how our last attempt went,” the Tech Chief said, crossing his arms and frowning. “'Sides, wouldn't taking the beast down blow us all to bits?"

"Not to mention it would defeat the entire purpose of us coming here," the Chief Biologist said. "We're here to study Zorah Magdaros, not eliminate it!”

“Be that as it may, I do not believe we have any other choice,” the Commander said, regret clear in his voice.

“Um, I might have an idea,” Mina said, raising her paw into the air in order to be seen over the table. 

The various chiefs and division heads looked a little skeptical, but the Commander shrugged his shoulders and gestured for her to continue. 

“The problem is Zorah dying in this Everstream, right?” Mina said, clambering up onto the table so that she could be at eye level with most of the others. “Well, what if we took Zorah, and just… pushed it somewhere else? Then it wouldn’t be as bad.” 

The smug expression she wore reminded Izuku a lot of the cat pictures that often floated around social media sites back on Earth, and sent a pang of homesickness through him. He could also swear the idea she had just proposed sounded familiar, but couldn’t quite place where he had heard it before. 

“That… isn’t a bad idea…” the Chief Biologist said after a moment of consideration. When the others looked at him incredulously, he continued, “I’ll admit, the proposal is a little simplistic, but the basic premise is solid. The Everstream borders the sea at numerous points. If we were to lure it into the open water…”

“We could mitigate the blast!” the Commander said, a wide grin splitting his normally grim face. “And the bioenergy it released would start a whole new ecosystem!”

“More sea-bound monsters,” the Huntsman said, clicking his tongue in disgust. “Just what we need.”

“Need I remind you, Commander, that our supplies are still low from our previous attempt at capturing Zorah Magdaros,”  the Provisions Manager said.

“Actually, I have some good news on that front,” the Commander replied, his grin growing even wider.

Before anyone could ask what he meant, he put his fingers in his mouth and let loose a piercing whistle that had people across the tradeyard flinching in surprise. The only one that didn’t was a thin, wiry man that Izuku didn’t recognize. He was shirtless, and his exposed skin had been darkened by long exposure to the sun. When he heard the Commander’s whistle, he perked up and trotted over to the command deck with shaky steps, as though he couldn’t quite keep his balance.

“Ahoy, Commander!” the man said, snapping a quick salute once he reached the table. “What do ya need me for?”

“At ease,” the Commander said, returning the salute before turning back to address the table. “The Captain here has brought us an entire boatload of supplies, courtesy of the Guild back home.”

“Aye,” the Captain added, “I’ve got ballistae, cannon balls, explosive charges, and everything else you’d need for a siege. Even got a special weapon for ya, direct from the Guild.”

“A special weapon?” the Smithy said, sounding intrigued.

“Aye, the Argosy’s armed with the latest in anti-Elder Dragon weaponry. She’s got a Dragonator in her bow, and enough boilers in her belly to run it. Just give her seawater and coal, and she’ll drive off anything what’s giving you trouble.”

“Excellent,” the Commander said, “With the Dragonator in hand, I think we have everything we need to drive Zorah Magdaros off. What do the rest of you say?”

“Aye Commander,” everyone else said, in nearly perfect unison. 

“Then I say it’s high time we get started. Has the research division managed to plot Zorah’s route?”

“We have it down to three possibilities,” the Chief Biologist replied, adjusting his spectacles. “Once our scout drakes come back, we should have the correct one. An hour or two at most.”

“Fine work. Once you have it, we’ll find a spot to set up and start construction of another barrier, assuming the Third Fleet is still up to the task?”

“Tell us where you need it, and we’ll build the toughest barrier you’ve ever seen,” the Smithy said, crossing his arms with a confident smirk. 

The Commander nodded, then turned to Izuku and Mina, who straightened under his forceful gaze.

“As for you two, leave the planning to us and make sure you’re prepared for the battle to come. Elder Dragons don’t go down easily, and I have a feeling that this will be a battle for the ages. If your equipment needs any adjustments, make sure it gets done right away. If you need, you can put it on my tab.”

It was an expression of absolute faith in their abilities, and one that Izuku had never heard of the Commander extending before. If the stunned looks on the Division Head’s faces were anything to go by, it was indeed a rare honor, and one that Izuku intended to live up to.

“We’ll be ready, sir,” Izuku said, snapping a salute of his own. 

“Ready to kick some butt!” Mina added helpfully. Her own salute was much more sloppy, but was equally heartfelt.

“I would expect nothing less,” the Commander replied. “Dismissed, all of you. This will be one for the history books, so be sure to give it your all.”

Read the rest on AO3 or FF.Net!

[hydrus]

Version 450

windows

zip

exe

macOS

app

linux

tar.gz

🎉🎉 MERRY 450! 🎉🎉

I had an ok week. Last week's experimental release went well, so I have polished that, and I otherwise caught up with a variety of small work.

If you sync with the PTR, update will take a couple of minutes.

all misc this week

So, the update storage change went ok! There were a couple of little sync bugs to clear up, but overall it works--tag repositories now track their processing progress by mappings, siblings and parents separately. You don't have to do anything, and this doesn't matter much for day to day work, but it allows for individualised reset and reprocessing. All 448 users will have their siblings and parents reset and reprocessed, which will take a couple of minutes to do on update, and about fifteen minutes on your next processing job to fill back in, and which should eliminate some bad siblings and parents due to years-old processing bugs that long term users have been dealing with (leaving only current bugs, which I am also working on). The reset will not delete any pending siblings or parents you have, so no worries if you have a bunch waiting to be uploaded.

Advanced Users: The PTR sibling and parent reset will however remove any siblings and parents you uploaded that were then denied by jannies (which your client would have added to itself anyway). Everyone is reset to a 'clean' sync with this change, so if you know you have a ton of surplus denied siblings you rely on, perhaps from years ago that we agreed I would deny on the PTR to help you hack in an overwrite in the old system, you might like to hold off updating and first figure out a PTR sibling/parent backup to a local service using tag migration.

I fixed some things with Mr Bones. His numbers are accurate to your 'my files' again, and he now talks about your total deleted files and also your earliest file import time. I divided the ugly growing stack of numbers into tabs, which I am sort of happy with, sort of not. People like to take screens of Mr Bones, but they have different preferences on what to show, so I may replace this with expand/collapse buttons or similar, so you can show everything if you want.

If you use the export files window to get a lot of files out, it now makes a progress popup. You can close the window while it is exporting and still see and cancel the job.

The Client API file search now supports file and tag domain selection (like the 'my files' and 'all known tags' buttons on a normal search page), and also file sort for searches. I know the Client API guys have been waiting on this, so with luck we should see some neat new search options in the Client API programs in the near future.

full list

misc:

when exporting files from the file export window, a cancellable popup job with progress updates is also created. if you close the window, you can still cancel the job from the popup

fixed a crash bug in file export window

system:num file relationships (duplicates) now correctly only returns files in the current file search domain (previously, it returned all files, including those previously deleted etc...)

I rearranged some of the thumbnail menu file relationships actions menu. I'm not really happy with this, but a shuffle is easier than a full rework

fixed the '4k' resolution label replacer, which was looking at 2060 height not 2160 by mistake

the phash generation routine (part of the duplicates system, happens on image imports) now uses less memory and CPU for images with an alpha channel (pngs and still gifs), and if those images are taller or wider than 1:30 or 30:1, the phashes are also better quality

the 'fill in subscription gap' popup button now correctly boots its created downloader when the action also opens a new downloader page. previously, due to overactive safety code, it would hang on 'pending' until a client restart. related similar 'start downloader after creating page' actions off drag and drop or client api should also be more reliable

.

repositories (also the various improvements in 449-experimental are folded in):

fixed an issue with some 'force repository account refresh' code not kicking in immediately

when a client sees repository update period change, it now recalculates the metadata next check time

fixed a bug with the new repo sync where updates just added from additive sync were not being processed until client restart. related long-term buggy 'do we have this hash in updates?' and 'how many updates are there?' tests for update metadata are also fixed

the experimental by-content-type repository reset from last week now leaves pending content in place

the reset also now clears cached service info counts for files, tags, and mappings

.

client api:

the /get_files/search_files command now takes six new parameters for file/tag domain selection and file sort type and order

I wrote out some simple help and added some hacky unit tests for these new parameters. it needs another pass for potential bug fixes and readability/specificity (e.g. what does 'asc' for 'sort by ratio' mean?), but let me know how you get on anyway

fixed the new system predicate parsing for system:hash with only one hash

improved the url system predicate examples in client api documentation

client api version is now 19

.

mr bones:

mr bones now reports the correct numbers for your 'my files' again (and will continue to do so as multiple local file services are added)

mr bones now reports total files deleted and their total size

mr bones now reports your earliest recorded file import time

mr bones now has separate tabs for different stats types. this neatly ditches the giant stack of numbers this was becoming, but I may revisit it. some people who take mr bones screens will prefer all the info in one easy shot, while I others I know would rather the 'viewing habits' stuff were not immediately there. maybe expanding boxes?

fixed some mr bones layout

.

boring code cleanup:

made a new base class for the different database modules to hold cursor and collect common administrative functions

all database queries (about 1,200 of them) now go through a single location in the new class

a new profile mode, 'query planner' mode, now prints query text and EXPLAIN QUERY PLAN lines to a new profile log. this is a new experimental thing, extremely spammy, but will help with diagnosing very unusually slow queries on individual clients (it'll most likely show up odd sqlite versions, weird data distributions, or un-analysed tables)

updated a core function in 'all known files' mappings change autocomplete count adjustment. this seemed to have extremely bad worst case time, and I think it might have been giving some bad counts in unusual situations

next week

Next week is cleanup. The long term database breakup job has been going well, making code simpler and easier to expand, so I think more of that. I also started a new database profiling system this week, and I want to experiment with it a bit.

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

Chapter 10 – Oh No Love, You’re Not Alone [TLD 2/2]

[A line from Rock’n’Roll Suicide, which titles the previous chapter – listen here! X Possibly Bowie’s best song.]

This chapter aims to break down the infamous hug scene step by step – I couldn’t handle this scene for a long time, Mary and Irene seriously breaking with the otherwise reasonably coherent series, but I have a reading. This reading is complicated in that it relies – like this whole meta series – on every character in the scene being a part of Sherlock. This is obviously sad because it means that our boys don’t come together in one of the only moments of physical affection they’ve been allowed in the last ten years, but bear with it. There are three important symbols we need to know going into this scene: our three main characters. The grounding of this meta series is that, within the EMP, Sherlock is our eyes, the part of his brain that is consciously navigating the subconscious and trying to make sense of it. John represents his heart, normally in antithesis with Mycroft as the brain, but in TLD really taking centre stage himself. To get a handle on Mary, I refer you back to my TST metas [XX]; TLDR, at the end of TST Sherlock stages Mary’s assassination attempt on himself via Norbury, only to replace himself with Mary at the last second because he cannot cope with the implication that it is the loss of him that has made John suicidal. To be colloquial, then, Mary is comphet – which is essentially her function in every Sherlock Holmes adaptation anyway, but you know. Thinking about Mary in terms of comphet is useful particularly in terms of her obsession with Sherlock wearing the hat which dogs the end of this episode, and which for many spoiled this scene the first time around (i.e. me). Wearing the hat is a euphemism in tjlc for masking one’s sexuality, drawing on the Victorian phrase ‘a hat of someone else’s choosing’ X – Sherlock’s throwing off of the hat was so momentous in TAB that many of us were reluctant to see it brought up again. However, this all makes sense.

Before we take this scene from the top, I feel the need to say that someone has brought me tea in a glass, by pure coincidence. I feel this is a good omen.

The scene opens talking about Eurus!Faith, and one of the first possibilities touted is that Sherlock made up a dream woman who gave him all the info he needed. Not subtle – although Eurus has other purposes in the narrative which become very important, she does also kick the narrative along quite nicely here. However, as mentioned in the previous chapter, she’s not the only character who does – think of the random comments that allow Sherlock to piece together ‘everyone’, despite having nothing to do with the case. So what our boys are saying about Eurus!Faith, if we think about it in the context of the episode, instead of just her, points to the artificiality that is casting such a massive shadow right now. John’s ‘magic dream woman’ comment comes straight after Sherlock talking about being able to predict anything – undermining the entire basis of the episode as magic and dreamlike, so we know where we stand. Sherlock is only experiencing all of this semi-lucidly – kind of like TAB – so it’s up to his heart to try to get him to twig it I suppose.

Sherlock then suggests that Eurus!Faith was a hallucination brought on by drugs, in keeping with the theme of the episode, but also with our own themes. Drugs are used to cover up one’s true sexuality, and Eurus up until this point has only been used in her various disguises to veil Sherlock’s desires as heterosexual, so in that sense she is linked to the mirage that drugs can cause. Heart!John’s response is to keep Sherlock off the ‘sweeties’, which is a good sign for us – the more we fixate on the sober region of Sherlock’s brain, the more we’re in the place where he can’t hide from who he is, and his heart is pushing him there.

It seems that comphet!Mary is the one pushing Sherlock to talk to his heart here, which might raise questions, but as we’ll see one of the first things she tells heart!John to do is to ‘make him wear the hat’ – everything she says is fitting in with the paradigm of Sherlock Holmes that the heart cannot cope with and needs to leave behind. Mary also suggests that Sherlock should wear the hat to her as a tribute, because she’s dead. I like to read this as the weird sense that we should be respectful of old classics, as though queering them is somehow disrespectful – this gets thrown up a lot in relation to Sherlock Holmes. One time it really got thrown up though was in the making of TPLoSH – the reason it’s not more explicit is because the Conan Doyle estate didn’t want Wilder to damage ACD’s legacy. The necessity for comphet of the Victorian era is dead and gone, but we still consistently pay tribute to it in our culture.

Sherlock keeps mentioning Culverton’s confessions, which we’ve talked about in the last chapter – but in this world of mirrors, he’s unable to map them onto himself perfectly yet. It’s the same thing as Eurus heterosexualising his interactions – we’re working in a world of mirrors and proxies, because the reality of queerness is so off limits in his mind.

Then we get the text alert. Irene Adler has long been established within the mind palace as a symbol of Sherlock’s sexual desire. So, at the end of this, as Sherlock is about to neglect his heart and let it descend out of Baker Street, we get this sudden cry of sexuality – and the heart turns back. Comphet!Mary, through the hat linked to conventional storytelling metatextually propelling Sherlock’s comphet well into the 21st century, immediately jumps to the conclusion that Sherlock loves Irene Adler. There are several reasons why this is absolutely wrong. Firstly, we are dealing entirely in symbolic people here, so why Irene would suddenly be a real person instead of a metaphor is tonally dubious. Secondly, Irene is a long established metaphor for sexuality anyway. But thirdly, and most importantly – this scene, which revolves around the Irene Adler text alert, is the beating heart of the episode and arguably the entire series. For Irene Adler to be referenced once more in the series, in a minor line, suggests that she is not the actual focus. It’s about what’s going on within Sherlock.

[A side note: Mary’s exposition in this scene makes me cringe – I hope I’m not the only one? But if you will set up a complex network of metaphors and then leave several years between series, maybe you need that.]

John then deduces that it’s Sherlock’s birthday – again, reasonably unbelievable that he wouldn’t know this, given that Mummy and Daddy Holmes would definitely have made a big deal of it. It’s difficult to know for sure what the birthday symbolises, but John saying he has always wanted to know it might make us remember Sherlock actually seeking out John’s birth certificate to find the name Hamish on it. This meta [X] explains why this represents hiding a part of ourselves that is essential – i.e., from birth – which would fit the concept of the birthday. However, this may be tenuous.

Heart!John’s outburst at the discovery of Sherlock’s sexual desire – not necessarily how it is directed, but that it exists – is basically: well, what do you do about it? Why don’t I know about this? It is incredible that Sherlock has managed to compartmentalise this from his heart for so long, but that’s the pro of having an incredibly intricate mind palace I suppose. The Harvester in High Wycombe situation is sex without strings attached – I think the veiled suggestion here is masturbation, because Sherlock has refused the heart any involvement in it, but Sherlock denies the suggestion. The level at which heart!John is losing it is desperate, and the idea that ‘High Wycombe is better than you are currently equipped to understand’ suggests an affection starvation of epic proportions. I had problems with John’s claim that romantic entanglement would complete Sherlock as a human being (Sherlock being ace is a common reading, often touted by the writers themselves, and whilst I don’t subscribe to the theory such a statement plays into a pretty harmful narrative about ace people). The line is still dubious when said by heart!John because of the wider narrative it plays into, but spoken by Sherlock’s heart to himself does suggest that Sherlock’s denial of his sexuality has been crippling him.

The idea that comphet!Mary sent heart!John back to Sherlock is a difficult one – there are two warring versions of Sherlock’s heart here, and comphet!Mary’s idea of heterosexuality (posh boy and dominatrix, even whilst metatextually acknowledging that it’s a boring cliché) does require the unity of Sherlock and his heart, just in a way that isn’t possible. However, another possible reading about letting Sherlock die without comphet!Mary might take us back to TST – the hypothesis assassination when comphet!Mary took the bullet for Sherlock at the last second admittedly slowed down Sherlock’s analytical processes, but it’s quite possible that his heart wasn’t ready for it, that the heart wouldn’t have let him realise it and Sherlock would actually have died in the mind palace. His heart was too afraid to show up – which, true or not, is echoed in the idea that heart!John wasn’t there when Sherlock/Mary were shot by Norbury, but attending to heteronormative domesticity (sorry Rosie). It’s also devastating that the heart wants to be the Sherlock Holmes of the stories still – and we’re breaking through, but it’s TFP which will finally push through that, not this scene.

Heart!John’s admission of cheating here is vital. Eurus as mirror for John has long been discussed, and as we’ve seen in a previous chapter (X) she takes on a female form to give Sherlock’s desires an acceptable outlet – but here we have an acknowledgement from heart!John that he betrayed comphet!Mary in his texting of Eurus. The texting is made to parallel Sherlock’s own engagement with his sexuality in terms of Irene – he’s later revealed to have texted her too. Whether that just suggests merely thoughts or masturbation (or something else?) I don’t know, but the parallel suggests that such engagement with his sexuality is the same as heart!John’s covert engagement with gay trauma Eurus – in other word, both romantic and sexual illicit desires have been acknowledged, and have existed simultaneously though compartmentalised. We can see the paralleling of heart!John’s romantic desires with Sherlock’s sexual desires in moments like when heart!John admits that he still wants more – the camera focuses on Sherlock, who looks at heart!John like a moment of realisation (possibly because he’s recognising the form his heart has taken – that’s the headcanon).

But this is not a happy scene. Heart!John declares that he has never been capable of comphet, but that he wants it, and comphet!Mary tells him to get the hell on with it – taking special emphasis to call him John Watson. There’s no Hamish here, which in a conversation begun on birthdays might make us worry, but crucially calling him John Watson rather than John is a link back to the original stories, when we know that using just first names is a big indicator of the modernity (read queerness) of the adaptation, not least in the EMP (see TAB). Comphet!Mary’s heterosexual compulsion is thus still going strong based on the historical stories. And what’s sad here is that the impulses are acknowledged! Sherlock not only acknowledges his sexual desire but even that he acts on it (the texts), and heart!John acknowledges his romantic attraction, and where they had been compartmentalised the hug as a moment of unity tells us that Sherlock has joined those dots, acknowledges his existence as a romantic and sexual being. And then – he puts the hat on, he still needs a high of some description to cope with his birthday. I believe that Sherlock’s acknowledgement of Mary’s ghost at the end, previously visible only to John, is a new recognition of the compulsory heterosexuality that his heart has been grappling with – but he puts on that hat in order to capitulate to it. (Never fear, the hat is coming off later).

The hat wearing comes in a separate scene, in terms of framing, to the official hug scene, although logically they must happen within 20 minutes of each other in the same room. [I am resisting the urge to make a crack joke about what happened in the interim. I’m sure there’s something on AO3 about it.] It’s a horrible addendum, because heart!John has just confessed his biggest secret, and Sherlock acknowledges it – but then immediately downplays it. Just texting. In superficial terms, this downplaying is personally not what I would want from a friend – in metaphorical terms, it’s deadly. It’s a subtle undermining of the entire previous scene. We can see that the wall hasn’t been broken through, that he’s still chickened at the last second (much like at the end of TST) in other ways – he still has the appearance of drugged Sherlock, in particular the facial hair, which is used to reference bearding typically in the show. I also maintain – though others may take issue with this – that Cumberbatch’s gait changes when he plays a high Sherlock, and although ostensibly not high here that slightly clumsy gait remains the same. It is not a good vibe. And then, the final shot of this scene isn’t one of acceptance or closure. After Sherlock acknowledges Mary’s presence, the look on Martin Freeman’s face is one of quiet but terrible sadness, as well as anxiety.

A final thought before I leave this scene, having discussed what happens at the end of TLD in a different chapter – it’s worth noting that Sherlock has a mug of an unspecified hot drink throughout this scene, but it’s left ambiguous whether it’s coffee or tea. (Yes, it could be something else, but given the heavy focus on coffee and tea earlier in the episode, along with the pre-established drinks code, we can assume.) This ambiguity, I think, is deliberate – it allows Sherlock to acknowledge desire but still mask it through vagueness and ambiguity. It’s a way of lying to himself – and goodness knows we’re all capable of that, and can probably see how such a fudge might apply to a mental analysis of such a situation. I’d love to hear others’ thoughts on this scene though – do let me know! Until next time.

[milfisolde]

under read more bc i put too much effort into my ocs and there is A Lot. tw for violent stuff

this will be updated every time i think of something for him!

deviantart link

Rollick

“The Ravenous” ? idk I suck at titles

no accessories

Size reference

why does he have anime hair if hes a fish? because he’s my oc and i say so

I MADE ICONS FOR THE LOCATIONS AND CLASS AND OTHER CHAMPIONS’ ABILITIES AND TUMBLR WONT’T LET ME ADD THEM WITHOUT FUCKING THE WHOLE POST UP

Short crappy bio

A young shark-like Vastaya. Born in Ionia, west of the island Sudaro. He was captured as a child by  Bilgewater pirates after straying too close to the surface and being found. Was then put to work on the Slaughter Docks, and trained to hunt in the traditional Serpent Isles manner: “launching themselves at their targets to secure tow-hooks with their bare hands, and beginning to butcher the creatures while they yet lived.”.

I need to update myself on League lore, but I would like him 2 be acquaintances with Nami and Fizz. Also, Rollick would have heard stories about Pyke and would find him really cool. Ideally, he would have Johnny Yong Bosch as his voice actor because I love how he voiced Kung Jin in Mortal Kombat X, but I don’t know how he’d do with a pirate accent lmao.

Kit

Would be classed as a Fighter with the sub-class Diver. At least I think he would.  

His kit is basically just a mash-up of multiple champions with extra ingredients. Riot do it themselves, so I'm allowed to, too. Pirate lingo used for most of his abilities and voice lines b/c I'm not creative for naming things.

 Passive "Blow the Man Down." : A mash-up of Rengar and Darius' but more complicated. Auto-attacking 3 times in a row, or using abilities, gives his unused abilities 3 different tiers of empowerment. (Like, if you auto-attack 3 times, use W, then Q, his E will have tier 3 empowerment.). Tiers 2 and 3 gives the target bleed when hit by abilities, applying "Blood in the Water."  Applying the bleed multiple times makes it stack, tier 2 stacks like two stacks of tier 1 bleed, tier 3 stacks like two stacks of tier 2 bleed. How many times can it stack? Idk. 5? 7? 10?? ok probably not 10 that would be stupid.

2nd passive "Clipper." : Rollick moves faster in the river; this move speed scales with his normal move speed.

Q "Feed the Fish." : Tier 1 is a swipe in an AOE cone with his claws. Tier 2 is a small lunge in a targeted direction with two swipes, one with each hand. Tier 3 is a longer distance lunge with a bite. If tier 3 lands on a moving target (examples: scuttlecrab when it dashes, Ezreal using his E), it will follow the target like Warwick Q/Evelynn E. The bite will also heal him for a small amount.

W "Hook, Line, Sinker." : is like Rengar's Bola Strike with a wider but shorter range for tiers 1 and 2, but he leaps in the targeted direction at tier 3 and if he hits something, covers it with his net and stays on top of them for a short amount of time. Tier 2 spins the target around from they way Rollick throws his net and will turn the opposite direction of the way the target was originally standing. If you're facing Rollick and the tier 2 net hits you, your back is now turned to Rollick.

E "Chase." : Warwick Blood Hunt but either less or more annoying. Cooldown is shorter in duration, but so is its active. The passive part of it only shows paths to champions affected with a bleed, burn or poison DOT effect. (Includes: Rollick's "Blood in the Water", Darius'  "Hemorrhage", Brand's  "Blaze", Gangplank's  "Trial by Fire", Lillia's  "Dream Dust", Cassiopeia's  "Noxious Poison" and  "Debilitating Poison", Twitch's "Deadly Venom", Teemo's  "Toxic Shot" and  "Noxious Trap", Singed's  "Poison Trail", the  "Scorch" rune,  "Ignite" summoner spell,  "Challenging Smite" summoner spell, "Azakana Gaze" from  Demonic Embrace, and "Torment" from  Liandry's Anguish.

R "Cleave 'Em to the Brisket!" : Similar to Skarner's "Impale". Rollick takes the hooked blade he has on his belt and lunges at the target, stabbing into the enemy champion's chest with his chest to their back, and drags them away. "Cleave 'Em to the Brisket!" can only be used on a champion that has their back turned towards Rollick. It applies a tier 3 "Blood in the Water." upon use. It can yank champions out of  Displacement Immunity, but doesn't suppress the target champion entirely, they are still able to use dash and blink abilities, use Thresh's  "Dark Passage", recast  "Death Sentence" , and use most movement summoner spells ( Flash, Hexflash, Mark/Dash), but if they do, half of their current HP is taken away from the hooked knife being dragged/yanked out of them. If you are 30% HP and you use one of the movement abilities mentioned, you will leave with 15% HP and two stacks of tier 3 bleed. For 5 seconds after using his ult, Rollick uses his knife to attack, gaining increased auto-attack range and his autos apply a tier 1 bleed stack per hit. The enhanced auto-attacks drag his targets towards him because of the hook part in his knife getting caught on them.

Animation ideas

(I used google to find every gif/picture, save for the “dance” one. they have tumblr links bc when writing this tumblr shit itself when i wanted to save it as a draft and i kept it open in a different tab and copy/pasted everything. im sorry some of the gifs are weird aslkfjdjf)

Walking animation is him using his arms and tail to "crawl". imagine the gif has a tail instead of legs

Running animation is the same concept, just with much more effort put into making himself move faster. Moving in the river looks more like he’s swimming rather than crawling. Slowed animation is him dragging himself slowly with his head facing the ground, putting weight on his elbows instead of using his arms completely. Like an army crawl but in pain.

Idle animation is him crossing his arms and resting on his elbows, then looking around and inspecting his claws.

If left in idle animation for more than 15 seconds, he drops down completely and puts his head in his arms and dozes off. Moving after the sleep idle will have him shake his head awake when starting to move.

Death animation is him trying to crawl, being unable to, then collapsing on his side and flopping onto his back.

Taunt animation is him straightening himself then lashing out with his hands and baring his teeth before "biting" the air in the direction he’s standing, voice lines coming out before the bite part.

Joke animation is him chasing his own tail? Maybe he gets tangled in his net after doing it for a second and just struggles there until the animation is interrupted.

Dance is uh. He straightens up and does knife tricks. He doesn’t have legs, doesn’t have a staff like Nami, and just wouldn’t dance like Cassiopeia.

I made the gif using footage from here.

His laugh animation would be him laughing and flopping onto his back, then turning back onto his stomach. All but one of his laughs would be loud and hearty, the one that isn’t would sound like Kung Jin’s laugh.

Voice line ideas

First encounters:

Bilgewater/Bilgewater themed champion:

"Ahoy!" "Ahoy, bucko!" "Ahoy, scallywag."

Multiple champions simultaneously/champions who have a visible partner/partners with them (examples: Kindred, Sejuani, Lulu with Pix, Elise with her Spiderlings, Azir with his Sand Soldiers):

"Ahoy, me hearties."

Pyke:

"Pyke?! I’ve heard stories of you! Though… You’re smaller than I had imagined..." "Hey there, old salt! " "Ahoy, seadog! "

Nami:

"Good to see a friendly face! Shame it’s on the wrong side." "Oh! Little lass! Have you found your stone yet? "

Fizz:

"Little trickster! Where’s your big friend? "

Illaoi:

“Test? Gonna get myself an A-plus-plus! …That’s the good grade, right?

Taunts:

Any champion:

"Scurvy dog! " "AAARRRRGGGGHHHH! "

Bird/bird themed/winged champion:

"Polly want a cracker? "

Tahm Kench:

“The only creature with an appetite bigger than mine” “You put me to shame with that maw of yours! You could fit me in it!”

Abilities/eliminations:

Tier 3 "Feed the Fish.":

(after used on champion wearing armour/with tough skin)

"Ouch… I think I broke a tooth. Good thing I got more. "

(after used on champion with fur/feathers/long hair)

" (violent spitting-out-fluff noises) Blegh! "

Tier 1 and 2 "Hook, Line, Sinker. ":

"Catch! " "Avast, ye! "

Tier 2 "Hook, Line, Sinker. " after turning someone around:

"Bring a spring upon ‘er! " "Broadside! "

Using "Chase. " with a DOT’d champion in range:

"Chum in the water…" " (deep inhale, then a rumbling growl) "

Using "Chase. " with affected champion visible:

"Lookin’ a bit squiffy there…" " (laughter) Yesss… "

Eliminate champion:

"Take a caulk. "

Eliminate champion while using "Cleave ‘Em to the Brisket!" or the enhanced auto-attacks after:

"Hah, keelhauled! " “Taste me steel n’ may the devil take ye!”

“PENTAKILL!”:

"Dead men tell no tales…"

Respawn:

"What a flogging…" "Alright, I’ve fed the fish… Now it’s their turn. "

Pings:

(Danger!):

"Heave to! " "Avast ye! "

(Assist me!):

"All hand hoy! " "All hands on deck! "

(Assist me!) followed up by (On my way!), or vice versa:

"Weigh anchor and hoist the mizzen! "

(Area is warded.):

"They’ve got a lookout. "

(Target champion):

"Thar she blows! " "Sail, ho! " "Savvy? " "Hang ‘em from the Yardarm! "

Miscellaneous:

Allied champion drinks potion or gets healed by another ally when Rollick has missing HP:

"Splice the mainbrace! Please?"

Alone with low HP, no potions or actives available, or sells all items:

"Looks like I’m marooned…"

Healed by ally:

"Feeling shipshape!" "Much obliged." "I’m in your debt." "Thank you!" "Thanks!"

Receives shutdown gold:

"Ha-ha! Plundered! " “Bounty taken.”

Flashing away from enemy:

"Blimey! " "Gah!” "Sink me! " " (girly shriek) "

[phony-stony]

oh take me back to the start

written for @winterironmonth SFW Friday. Fills out the prompt: TROPE/AU: Post Breakup

Words: 6.9k Ao3 link

stay tuned for other fics this month!

God did Tony need a fucking drink. 

He must have looked like it too because the stewardess didn't even blink before giving him a "right away, Mr. Stark" as soon as he had asked for the strongest thing they had on board, followed up with a "don't bother if you only have whiskey, I don't drink that." 

Tony sighed, leaning back into his seat and trying to relax, but he could feel a migraine blooming right behind his eyes, and while Tony was an expert bullshitter even he had his limits. Trying to tell himself that everything was fine right now wasn't even in the realm of truth—it was so wildly untrue that Tony was certain that he needed a stronger phrase than "lying through my goddamn teeth" to try and describe it properly. 

Whatever. 

It didn't matter. 

Fuck, maybe, well, no it really- 

"Your drink?" 

Tony nearly jumped out of his seat when the stewardess appeared at his side, handing him a full glass. 

"Thanks," he muttered, taking the drink and having to physically restrain himself from chugging it down. 

"We do have vodka on board, sir, but normally patrons don't like to drink it straight. I can see about something to mix it with if you'd like?" 

Tony waved her away, trying his best to give her a thankful smile. It probably looked like a grimace. 

"This brandy 's fine, thanks." 

He'd break out the vodka later right before they landed, but god, right now he just wanted to be left alone. 

Tony didn't even realize that she had left. He was already thinking of what—of who—he would see by the end of the day. 

Fuck. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Bucky was halfway through getting himself together for work when his phone rang. 

"What the hell do ya want, Stevie?" 

"Morning to you too, jerk." 

"Shut up, punk." Bucky pinned the phone between his shoulder and ear as he threaded his belt through the loops of his pants. 

"Bite me. You know what today is, right?" 

Bucky leaned his hip up against his bed and felt how his grip tightened on the phone in his hand. For a minute they were both silent. 

"I think we both know the answer to that, so why don't you say what you obviously have to get off your chest and let me do somethin' today." 

"Today is the five year anniversary." 

"Yeah." 

"Are you….I mean, I know how important this whole thing, how important he is to you, but I know that you're still trying to get over everything and all that." 

"Spit it out, Steve." 

"Are you going to go? Like have you actually thought everything through and all that." 

Bucky didn't answer at first, but then the silence stretched wider and wider as Bucky's heart started to hurt in his chest. 

"Bucky? You still there?" 

Steve's voice was quiet and delicate over the phone, like he could see the physical pieces of Bucky's heart splintered in his chest. 

"Yeah. I'm here," he managed. 

"You don't have to go, Buck, you know that right? I'm not trying to say that you shouldn't, but I'm just putting it out there. I know how much you keep beating yourself up over it and I know how much you miss him, but you've worked really hard to get where you are. I remember what you were like when everything happened, and Buck? I never want to see you that hurt ever again." 

There was rustling over the speakers, and Bucky still didn't have his voice back. 

"I think that you should go, but only if you think that you're going to be alright. I know that this is important to you, but you don't owe him anything. Don't do it for him." 

"I-" Bucky stopped, swallowed nothing, and tried to gather his thoughts, "I'm going to go," he said quietly. 

"Yeah?" 

"I need to see him again. I can't go the rest of my life thinking about what could have happened, Steve. I'm going to go." 

"Good." 

Steve sounded pleased and like Bucky had said exactly what he had thought he would, and Bucky breathed out, rolling back his shoulders. 

Today was the day. 

 ~~~~~ 

 "What's a pretty thing like you doin' all alone?" 

Tony cocked his eyebrow at the guy approaching him. 

"Maybe I'm hiding from all of the pick-up artists like yourself," Tony responded, pouring on the attitude and sass to make up for the fact that this guy's blue eyes were making Tony sweat. Fuck. 

He brought his cup to his mouth and took a large gulp from his beer. Alcohol was liquid courage and all that, plus he just really fucking needed something to do with his hands. 

The guy smirked, just a bit of white teeth slipping out. Tony both prayed for Rhodey to come back so he could save Tony before he did something stupid like swoon, yet he also wanted nothing more than for Rhodey to forget all about him and leave him with this stranger with his perfect face and all. 

"I wouldn't call myself a pick-up artist, doll." 

"Then what would you call yourself?" 

"James Barnes, but you can call me Bucky." 

Tony couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out of him. He also couldn't help but catch the wide smile Bucky sent his way in reciprocation. 

"That was smooth, I'll give you that." 

"Mind if I join ya?"

"As a drinking partner, maybe." 

It wasn't that Tony wasn't interested because fuck what Tony wouldn't give to work Bucky's shirt off of his body and lick those goddamn muscles, but Tony didn't really do hook-ups. He had spent his whole life feeling discarded and worthless because of his shit father, and while they weren't related at all, Tony always associated the morning after so strongly with being rejected that the sex wasn't worth it to him. It always felt like he had burned through his worth and exceeded his welcome when the sun finally rolled back around. 

Bucky smiled wide, and it was beautiful. 

"I'd be happy to, darlin'."

 ~~~~~ 

 Tony jerked awake when his phone slipped out of his hand and landed on his foot. It hadn't hurt, but he cursed wildly anyways. The words made his racing heart and shaking hands feel better. 

Tony tucked himself as far into the seat as he could go and pulled out his Stark Industries tablet—nothing hooked his attention like his engineering, and he needed to stop thinking about Bucky. At this rate, he'll be going from the plane to checking into a psych ward as soon as he landed from a breakdown. 

(there's another one of his lies—there's so many now, aren't there? Because Tony learned long, long ago that nothing can take his mind away from James, from his Bucky—) 

 ~~~~~ 

 Tony is talking about his latest project, a robot that he's building that will end up being able to be coded to do chores and help around in a house. 

"-and I know that I still need to work out all of the bugs, but he already wants to be so helpful! Well, I mean, he did try and poison me with a smoothie made out of motor oil, but it was an accident, DUM-E didn't mean it. Plus, I really-" 

Bucky pulled Tony more into his lap, and Tony's rambling didn't even falter while Bucky manhandled him into a more comfortable position on their shitty couch. Instead of having his own space on the sofa, Tony's body was tucked into the crook of Bucky's arm and his legs were draped over Bucky's. Satisfied that he could hold Tony completely, Bucky curled a hand around one of Tony's ankles and rubbed the skin softly while Tony kept talking about his robot and all of the things he was going to do with it. 

They were still there two hours later when Steve came home from work. 

"Tony are you staying over tonight?" he asked, popping the tab on a soda and stealing the leftover pizza from the pie they had ordered earlier today. 

"I don't think Bucky's going to let go of me." 

"Nope." 

Steve rolled his eyes. 

"I can't believe I'm still waiting for you two to leave the honeymoon phase. Disgusting." 

"Shut your mouth, Stevie, I've had to stumble across you and Peggy trying to suck each other faces off enough times to file for compensation. I think you can handle me holding my boyfriend." 

"Oh relax, jerk." 

"Punk." 

Steve chugged the rest of his soda and recycled the empty can. He tipped his head to the two of them on the couch still. 

"Night, Tony. If you wake up before noon I'll make you pancakes. Bucky, try to not fuck him through the mattress all night, you've got eight-am's tomorrow and you're cranky without your beauty sleep." 

Tony laughed and wished Steve good night while Bucky scowled, tossing some luke-warm insult over his shoulder at his punk-ass best friend. 

"You want to head to bed? I know you may not want to admit it but you like your sleep almost as much as me." 

"It's only a little past ten, why don't you finish what you were telling me 'bout, alright, doll?" 

 ~~~~~

 Bucky blinked back to attention when the little bell at the front desk was rung for a third time. Jumping up from his chair, Bucky emerged from the back office. 

"Sorry, what can I help you with?" 

The customer explains that they made an appointment for Bucky to check their transmission and the work is welcome to keep Bucky's mind off of… things. Things like fingers twisted around his and giggled kisses. 

Bucky pulls on gloves and grabs what he needs, glancing at the clock. 

Just about nine-thirty in the morning. 

Bucky may be taking off early so he can get cleaned up before driving down to the park, but the short day seems irrelevant when he has a feeling that today will drag long enough to border eternity. 

 ~~~~~ 

 "What do you need?" 

For a shameful, terrible moment, Tony nearly told him to fuck right off. Fortunately, Tony didn't have the capability or the autonomy to use his vocal chords right now. They were just… not working. Nothing was. 

Instead of saying the biting words that he wanted, Tony was just silent. 

Bucky didn't say anything either, but he also didn't leave—Tony could feel the eyes on him, boring into his back, cracking Tony's pathetic and curled up form open, seeing the black in his lungs and the fury making him sick, the grief and confusion tearing him apart. 

The bedsprings shifting on Tony's shitty college bed was the only indication that Bucky had moved, and then there were arms gently winding their way around Tony's body, pulling him back up against Bucky. 

But Tony didn't want that—he didn't want to he held and shushed and placated, he wanted to scream and rip out his own fucking hair, drink the nearest bottle of jack and mix it with oxy, he wanted to hurt, he wanted to hurt. 

He did not deserve this, and he did not want it, and he tried to push Bucky's arms off of him, tried to struggle out of his grip and shove his way free, but no matter how many elbows Bucky caught and how many frustrated grunts that Tony let out, he didn't let Tony go. Instead, Bucky just held him for a moment, for two, and Tony's cries muffled through clenched teeth turned into sobs, and he still couldn't bring himself to say anything. 

"I've got you," Bucky murmured, turning Tony around and tucking him right under his chin. Strong arms freely found themselves holding Tony's shaking form close, and it was too much touch, too much stimulation, but at the same time it was not enough, he needed more, needed to feel Bucky around him completely so he would know that he was safe. 

God, what a stupid thought. Safe? He needed to feel safe? From what, a fucking corpse? Howard was dead, he won't be saying a damn thing to Tony now. 

When had Tony started crying? All of the sudden he was gasping through his tears and Bucky was still just there. 

Something sounded like a wounded animal, and Tony had a sinking suspicion that it was him. 

Bucky still didn't say anything. 

Dead. Howard was dead. Gone, drunk and high on three separate drugs when he ended up wrapping his truck around a tree on the side of the road, and the amount of times that he had wished for that bastard's death was too high for him to try and count. Every biting remark, every slap, every hit, every breakdown, Tony remembered everything, and it all haunted him. Fuck. Howard had torn Tony apart time after time, and Tony hated him for everything he had done, everything he had taken away and destroyed, all of the pain he had beaten into Tony's short life. 

Tony had nightmares and he still couldn't drink whiskey without flashing back, couldn't handle the smell of cigarettes and loathed anything to do with poker. He was in therapy and had so many fucking issues because of him, he was so weak because of him, yet here he was angry and sad and so fucking lost. Pathetic. 

Bucky kissed the top of his head, humming something soft and Russian under his breath. 

For some reason, it broke Tony. 

Bucky had to sit them up because Tony was choking on his tears. 

Tony wanted to scream at Howard, yell and rage about all of the misery and anguish that Tony has dragged himself through. He wanted to make Howard hurt as much as he had made Tony hurt, but he was dead, and the chance at validation, at acknowledgement that everything that had happened was Howard's fault, not Tony's was up in smoke. He would never make Howard understand what he had done. 

And while Tony knew that their relationship could have never been salvaged, part of him still mourned at the loss of his father, at someone who had been tasked with protecting and loving him, and had failed. He mourned the life that he never had, the love he never got, and as Tony sobbed, Bucky just held him tight. 

It's okay it's okay it's okay it's okay it'sokayit'skayit'skayit's-

Tony didn't know if the words were Bucky's or if it was his own subconscious breaking down, but he also didn't care. Tony just clutched at Bucky's sweatshirt tighter and shook. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Tony swallowed his third Advil, rubbing at his temples. 

"Do you need anything, Mr. Stark?" 

"Please don't call me that. Tony is fine," he managed, his voice whispery and not sounding quite right. And Tony would have to leave her a huge tip because she just nodded, said "sure thing, Tony," and left him like he so needed. 

Feeling like a dog licking his wounds, Tony desperately put in his headphones. He had a playlist for when he started thinking about Howard that helped to keep him grounded—ha, ironic, I'm on a bloody plane—and he didn't use it too often anymore, but he also didn't have Bucky around to hold him as he fell apart. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Tony threw his head back and moaned, hips stuttering as he sat himself fully on Bucky's cock. Hissing, Bucky clamped his hands onto Tony's hips and held him steady, held him still. 

"Wait," he breathed, "you need to wait." 

Tony whined and tried to move, but Bucky was too strong for Tony to break his grip and they both knew it. 

"Bucky, Bucky please, oh god please, I need you, Bucky I need you." Tony gasped, leaning down and kissing Bucky desperately, like he was hungry. Bucky rocked his hips up just a little, then again and again, the pace slow and deep to open Tony up fully around his cock. He took command over their kiss and kept his control over Tony's hips firm. Sucking one last breathy moan from Tony's lips, Bucky let him go and laid back, his hands slipping down to rest on Tony's thighs. 

"Ride me, doll. Show me how pretty you look on my cock." 

Tony hissed out something that Bucky couldn't make out and then he was riding Bucky hard, mouth open and panting, hands pressed to Bucky's chest, moaning and gasping. 

Bucky let Tony take what he wanted, and then when Tony's thighs burned too much to keep up with the speed he craved, the roughness which Tony wanted, Bucky flipped them and pinned Tony to the bed, sucking a deep bruise onto Tony's neck as Bucky made him moan, made him come, made him see stars. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Sam took the wrench out of his hand and pushed him towards the door, demanding him to leave already. 

"Man, I love you, but you've been staring at the wall for the past five minutes. Your shift ends in twenty, and I don't care if you're my boss, you're in my way. The shop'll be fine, go on, I'll see you on Monday, alright?" 

Bucky had a feeling that his hands were shaking. 

 ~~~~~ 

 "Open your eyes!" 

Tony stepped back and watched Bucky's mouth drop. 

"Doll?" 

"I know, I know, I should have asked, but I kind of wanted it to stay a surprise? Anyways, I got it all done professionally, so you don't have to worry about some rando touching your guitar. It's been refinished and I had the guy fix the neck and your bridge, and everything's been cleaned and oiled and all sorts of other things. Oh! I also got it re-stringed for you, the expensive ones and everything. There's another pair in your case already for when you need them, and I sewed that rip on your strap for you. Now you don't have to have so many safety pins holding it together." 

Tony felt his voice trail off a little when Bucky still didn't give him much of a reaction besides open-mouthed staring. He bit at his lip, shifting from foot to foot. Tony hadn't gotten him a new guitar specifically because Bucky loved his with his whole heart—it had been a gift from his ma when he was five, and the acoustic was probably the most important thing he owned. So instead, Tony had taken it to the most professional shop around and had the owner give it the works. 

Finally, Bucky snapped out of his reverie and turned to Tony, his look unreadable. 

"How did you… Tony the money… "

Tony frowned and stepped forward, shushing him before wrapping his hands around one of Bucky's and tugging him towards his guitar. 

"My new job pays me a lot better, remember?" 

"You were going to save it for a new set of tools, the fancy ones that you've wanted since forever, Tony, doll, why would you spend it on me?" 

"Because I wanted to give you something nice, and I love you." 

"Tony-" 

"Shhh, don't. Do you like it?" 

"Yes, god, of course-" 

"Then that's more than enough for me." 

Bucky kissed him hard, deeply, and in a rush. Tony just held on for the ride, trying his best to keep up with Bucky's kisses in between whispered thankyous upon thankyous. 

Later that night Bucky treated him to the best performance of his life, worshiping him first with chords and plucked melodies and sung words, and then with his hands and his lips. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Tony stared down at the picture on his phone. 

He had known that looking at the album sitting in the dusty corners of his storage was a bad idea, yet there he was, tracing the angle of Bucky's jaw with his eyes, heart aching as he drank in their smiles, their happiness, their love. 

It had been a stupid selfie Bucky had surprised Tony with, his newly refurbished guitar in the background. 

It had been Tony's homescreen for months. 

Tony feels something crack in his chest. 

 ~~~~~ 

 They both stared at the screen of Tony's phone. On it was an email from Obadiah Stane with the details that Tony had asked for in regards to the job he had offered him. Stane had showed up a few days ago to the yearly exhibit the engineer majors put together to showcase their senior projects. He had been so impressed with Tony's AI JARVIS that he had nearly shoved a contract into Tony's hands then and there. 

Bucky reread the whole thing again. 

Massive benefits, a huge salary, head of R&D, creative freedom, all in-

"California. Bucky, this is in California, as in across the whole fucking country." Tony breathed out sharply, pushing the phone away from him. He got up abruptly and started to pace. 

"This is exactly what I wanted, no, this is more that I ever thought I even wanted. Okay, sure, maybe I've thought about having my own company or something, but that would have never happened, you know? I knew I would get stuck in some regular job probably designing computer software or something just as stupid just for the money, but holy fuck, with this I can do something with my life! I can help people, my work can mean something, I can be someone, I…" 

Tony trailed off and bit at his lip, arms crossed over his chest. Bucky frowned, knowing where this conversation was going to go immediately.  He stood from the table and stepped into Tony's pathway, catching him as he walked right into Bucky's chest, oblivious to Bucky's movement. 

"You already are someone, sweetheart, you don't have to prove anything." 

Tony's head snapped up and he scowled, shoving Bucky's hands off of him. 

"No I'm not. I make some things on the weekends and work at the diner to pay for college. This is my chance to actually do something with my life besides become the next drunk, coked-up, piled-in-debt Howard who is worth absolutely nothing. I can't do that, Bucky, I can't. I need to do something bigger than myself, to make a difference, and I can't do that in this crappy college apartment." 

"Tony, you're not going to become the next Howard whether you take this job or not." 

"You don't know that!" Tony yelled, his hands up in his hair, wrapped around the roots. 

Bucky closed the distance between them in two strides and gently took Tony by the wrists, making him relax his harsh grip. 

"I do!" Bucky said, nearly just as loud as Tony had been to make sure that it sunk into Tony's brain. He immediately brought his volume down. "Anthony Edward Stark, I know you, and I know that you would never become that goddamn bastard. You are too good of a person, too good of a man, to even think about half of the shit he's pulled. It doesn't matter if you do nothing but tinker on the weekends and work some boring job for the rest of your life, you'll still be a million times better than Howard. Your worth and morals are not based on if you have a fancy job in California or not." 

Tony looked like he wanted to believe Bucky, but that there were still parts of him that didn't. Sighing, Bucky folded Tony into his arms. 

He understood Tony's all-consuming need to be someone, he really did. Howard had drilled it into Tony's head that he was nothing and that he would also never be anything, and Tony had a craving to prove him wrong and to rub it in his face. Tony kept trying to grab at every opportunity that he could to help people, to show his brilliance, to improve the lives of others, and as much as he succeeded, it wasn't enough for him. 

Ever since Tony had escaped from Howard's grasp, he had been trying to find himself and heal, had been trying to scream that Howard was wrong, and part of that was the feral need to become and do whatever Howard said that he couldn't. In this case, it was the fact that Tony was determined to not live as a nobody. 

Tony still tied his value to the standards Howard had set and his ability to exceed them, and Bucky hated how much pressure he put on himself. He hated how much pressure Howard had put on Tony, and how much he was still putting on him even now that he's dead and gone. 

More than anything, Bucky hated how he can't do anything for Tony besides be there. 

"I think you should take this," Bucky whispers, "not because of Howard, but because of how much you can help other people. I know that deep down that's the root of everything you do, and you can make such a difference in the world. You're not going to get another opportunity like this, Tones, and it'll be so good for you." 

Tony wrapped his arms around Bucky's back. 

"You can't come with me. Your mom needs you here and I would never take you away from here, but I can't lose you, Bucky I can't-" 

"Hey, who said anything about losing me, doll? Just because you might be in California for most of the time doesn't mean I'm gone. You're not going to ever get rid of me, alright?" 

Tony's hands were shaking, and Bucky had a feeling that his would be too if they weren't clutched onto Tony so hard. 

"Alright." 

 ~~~~~ 

 Bucky leaned his head against the tile of the shower, the water turned too hot, but Bucky didn't really care if it burned. He still had some extra time before he had to get ready and right now all of the memories were too much. 

Tony had left for California three weeks later, and in the beginning everything was more than fine. But things had kept piling and soon it was too much for them to try and ignore, and it broke them apart and tore Bucky's heart to shreds. 

He remembers the morning that the news had broadcasted Obadiah Stane being led away in handcuffs for murder, treason, money laundering, and all sorts of other offenses, and he still has the hole in his wall where he had punched through the plaster when he had thought about Tony trying to save the world and getting mixed up in all of Stane's shit, thought about Tony leaving everything in New York behind for a dream and getting it destroyed. 

Thought about how Bucky had lost Tony for what? A lying sack of shit who was responsible for the deaths of thousands? 

Because at the end of the day it didn't matter if Tony saved the world or not when Bucky could no longer call him his. 

 ~~~~~ 

 "Who're you texting, Tony? A pretty girl?" 

Tony looked up from his phone and gave Obadiah a sheepish smile as he clicked the screen off. Bucky had been texting him, asking if Tony had time to skype tonight. When Tony said that he was busy, Bucky asked if he could make an exception, even if it was just for a minute because "it's been so long since I've seen you and I miss you, doll, I'm worried." Tony could admit that he's been brushing Bucky off recently, but he's been trying to not only stay in Obadiah's good graces, but also show that he can be the best employee Obadiah has. He needed to show Obadiah that he was worth the risk that he had taken on Tony. He needed to show him how much he was worth. 

So what if Tony had forgotten a couple of calls? He's been working and inventing his days away. And it's not like Bucky was the only thing that he was forgetting—Tony could admit that he had lost weight because he was forgetting to eat and sleep in between projects. 

(That little tid-bit had gone over swimmingly when he had told Bucky. He's been getting worried texts more and more recently as the time between Tony's apologies and Bucky's unanswered good mornings stretched.) 

Tony was the head of R&D, it was expected that he worked the hardest—Obadiah expected that he worked the hardest—and Tony wasn't about to disappoint the man. He could take some long nights, it was fine. 

Because honestly? What other employee had been up here in Obadiah's private office for a personal thank you?

Obadiah pressed a drink into Tony's hand, but the alcohol swishing in the crystal glass made his stomach turn. He started to say no, but Obadiah just kept smiling, refusing to take the glass back. 

"C'mon, Tony, I'm trying to congratulate my favorite employee on his roaring success. You aren't going to waste my scotch, are you?" 

Tony just stared at him for a moment, and he was four, Howard growling at him to stop being an ungrateful brat when Tony had cried at having to eat a half-cooked hot dog for the fourth day in a row. He was hungry, he needed something more, but he didn't understand why his dad could eat whatever he wanted and Tony's stomach had to hurt so bad. 

"You'll be happy with what I fucking give you, brat." 

Tony dug his fingernails into his palm and gritted his teeth, pushing down the panic flooding through his head and just barely stopping himself from running out of the room and calling Bucky, needing Bucky-

Tony took a deep breath, tripped his head back, and drank. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Tony was so jittery that he nearly forgot to grab his suitcase. 

But soon enough he was in a taxi and leaning back in his seat as soft rock played through the old car speakers. He had toyed with getting his own car to pick him up, but he didn't want to draw attention to himself, and everyone traveled by taxi in New York anyways. 

He knew that Bucky was probably well aware about the fact that he had his own company and was the CEO and founder of Stark Industries, the leading technology company in the world and responsible for cleaning up Obadiah's mess as well as the messes of other billionaires. Bucky probably couldn't make it two feet outside without hearing or seeing one of his products, and god that had to be annoying. 

Tony had been the one to break up with him and Bucky still couldn't escape him. 

In about twenty minutes, Tony would be seeing Bucky again for the first time in five years. Bucky had made him promise when Tony tried to end things that they would meet up and see where life took them. Who cared if they had found someone else or were married or had changed? They could find each other one more time and see where it took them, see if they could be friends and maybe go on a double date, or see what happened if they were both single. That's what Bucky had said—he hadn't cared what might happen in the future, but he had made it clear that even though Tony was cutting all contact with him, he still wanted Tony in his life in the future in any way Tony would let him. 

He wondered if Bucky still felt the same. 

When Bucky saw him again, would he be satisfied with the closure of one last afternoon together and be content in letting Tony go forever? Would he had finally come to his senses and wish he had never made that promise to Tony all those years ago? Would he be disgusted with the fortune belonging to Tony, with the man he had become? Would he show up at all? 

Part of Tony scoffed, thinking about how he would rather Bucky ditch him than bring a new partner for Tony to meet, but that was just another lie—Tony was still pathetically grasping at any scrap of Bucky that he could get his hands on. 

It's been five years and Tony is still mourning the loss of the love of his life. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Steve shook his shoulder to get his attention. 

"Come on, we're shipping out." 

Bucky grabbed his bag and stood, and he knew that Steve was following him. 

It had been nearly three months since Tony had broken it off between them. Bucky had fought like hell to try and get Tony to realize that they could still fix their relationship, but he was stubborn and scared and being his normal, self-sacrificing self. 

Tony had distanced himself a lot in the weeks since he had left, and Bucky knew that most of it was because he was being run ragged trying to get projects done before deadlines, trying to prove himself, trying, trying, trying. He was disappearing from everyone more and more, the stretches of silence growing day by day, and his self-worth was plummeting. Bucky could see it every time they had skyped and all of the tired phone calls they shared after work. It was the work, the stress, the new environment and the isolation and damn it all if it wasn't because of Obadiah because Bucky knew that he was a lying sack of-

Tony wasn't taking care of himself physically or mentally, and he was breaking. 

And what Tony did when he broke was break everything else. 

Tony had told him that he didn't want Bucky to be tied down with someone who didn't give him any attention, someone who wasn't what Bucky deserved, someone who was more trouble than he was worth, someone someone someone. And no matter how much he had cried or yelled or pleaded for Tony to just try, please doll just try, it still ended up with them both sobbing into their phones as Tony hung up. 

Bucky had never felt so hopeless in his life, so powerless. The man that he loved was self destructing miles and miles away and when he needed Bucky the most Bucky couldn't even convince him to stay. 

Looking back, the decision was a jerk-of-the-knee one, an impulse that Bucky ended up following through on in some stupid need to do… something. He couldn't explain it, but at the time it had felt right. 

He had never liked the army, but now that his ma wasn't sick anymore and Tony was gone he signed up ten days later. Steve had tried to talk him out of it, but when Bucky stood his ground he just joined right there with him. 

As Bucky handed his bag off before getting on the plane, he wondered if he would die at war. He had made Tony promise to meet with him in five years, at that one spot in Central Park that they liked to eat snow cones at. It was Bucky trying to grasp at a second chance with Tony. He was sure that someone else would scoop up his genius—god knows that anyone would be crazy to pass him up—and he wondered how much it would hurt when he saw Tony again and to be damned to only be friends. 

He wondered if he would survive to see Tony again at all. 

And some dark, twisted part of Bucky hoped that he didn't make it out alive. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Bucky put the kickstand down on his motorcycle and took his helmet off. He stubbornly ignored the second helmet that he had strapped to the side. It was Tony's old one, and no matter how many times he tried to tell his stupid heart that Tony wouldn't want to ride back to Bucky's apartment with him, he couldn't stop himself from bringing it with him anyways. 

Bucky breathed in and out a few times, trying to stop the shaking of his hands. 

It was hot enough outside to make Bucky sweat in his jacket even without the anxiety ramping up his heartbeat, but he didn't dare take the thing off. What would Tony think when he saw that he had a prosthetic arm? What would he think when he found out that Bucky had gone off to war in some kind of fucked-up suicidal quest to be more than useless and helpless? 

What would Tony think when he found out that Bucky was stuck in the same damn place Tony had left him while he had landed among the goddamn stars?

Would Tony even want to get back together? Be friends? 

Would Tony even want him? 

 ~~~~~ 

 Tony found Bucky sitting on their bench, two blue raspberry snow cones in his hands, leg bouncing. 

For a minute, all he did was stare. 

Bucky was more muscular and his hair was noticeably longer even if it was tied back at the moment. He was dressed in jeans and an unzipped leather jacket, showing his white t-shirt underneath. Paired with the dark hair, powerful boots, and shoulders wide enough to make Tony's look damn near feminine, he looked like he belonged on the motorcycle that Tony just knew he still had. God he looked… good. So good. 

Tony's heart near burned when Bucky turned to him and smiled, those ice blue eyes just the same as Tony remembered. 

"Hi," Tony breathed once he got close. Bucky held out one of the snow cones and Tony couldn't take it fast enough. 

"Hi, Tony." 

 ~~~~~ 

 Hours later, they'd find themselves in Bucky's apartment, taking turns sipping from the last Coke Bucky had in his fridge after talking each other through the past five years and what had torn them apart in the first place. 

For Tony, he couldn't explain how sorry he was for everything. He told Bucky about how easily he had fallen for Obadiah's manipulation, how he had pretty much destroyed everything good in his life by the time he had stumbled upon Obadiah's double dealing, explained how he had gotten Obadiah to jail, the drinking and the drugs, years of therapy, the work he put into building his company with the help of Pepper Potts, the woman that Tony virtually owed his sanity too after all of the craziness of his life. And with all of Tony's confessions, Bucky was sure to wipe away the tears and growl at every new revelation of fucked-up after fucked-up thing Obadiah had done, held him tighter as he revealed the self-destructive alcohol and drug haze he had created when everything fell apart. 

Afterwards, Bucky told Tony about the war, about the explosion that had taken his arm, the helplessness, the pain, the flashbacks and the PTSD, the breakdowns and the therapy. He talked about how much Steve was there for him, about the repair shop he had opened, about how Sam and Clint were still around and working for him, and how he was doing alright, how he was healing. And Tony held him tighter through the explanations, rubbed his back when his voice caught and cried with him when everything hurt too much. 

They were both broken, but no matter how much they tried to explain this to the other, it didn't seem to matter. Even with Tony's past sins Bucky still looked him in the eye and kissed him. Even with Bucky's scars and irrational fears, Tony still wrapped his hands around Bucky's metal arm and swore to make him the best prosthetic in the world, promised that no damage could ever make Tony stop loving him. 

It was pushing two am now, but neither of them cared. 

They had been waiting five years to break the silence between them forged with pain and misery, blocked and deleted numbers, mistakes and sorrow. And now? Now they weren't going to let one another go for the world. 

"God do I fucking love you," Tony murmured, clutching at Bucky in his tiny kitchen. His voice was wobbly and the lump that had been in his throat all day was still there, but he couldn't remember the last time he had felt this happy. 

That's a lie; I remember it perfectly. The last time I felt like this was five years ago. 

"I love you too, doll, holy fuck do I love you too. Never stopped and I'm not gonna now," Bucky whispered through the tears rolling down his face. He had to be crushing Tony with how hard he was holding him, but he wasn't about to let go now, not for anything. 

Tony only held him tighter. 

 ~~~~~ 

 Bucky let his fingers trail over Tony's jaw, the soft skin warm to the touch. Tony smiled. 

"You're always so affectionate after you fuck my brains out." 

"Lies. I'm always affectionate with you regardless as to how hard I fuck you." 

Tony laughed and rolled onto his side so they were face to face. The smile on his face was so wide and loving, and Bucky wanted to keep Tony that happy for the rest of their lives. 

Tony curled his fingers through Bucky's. Not ten minutes ago Tony had been damn near screaming Bucky's name as he came, and now he was nothing but softness rolled up in the golden light of the morning sun, precious and gentle, near bashful as Bucky kept looking at him. 

Holy fuck did Bucky love him. 

"Do you think we'll last, Bucky?" The words had been very obviously blurted out, and he instantly realized what he said and tried to backtrack. "Actually, that might be a weird question, sorry, don't answer-" 

Bucky shushed him and pulled him close, tucking Tony under his chin and pressing a dozen kisses to the top of his head. 

"Forever, doll. I'm going to take care of you forever." 

[lily-of-the-eyrie]

🎓🔍 Scene Commentary: Colonel Edition ①

Welcome to the first in a series of posts about taking a closer look at the Colonel’s scenes, in which I’ll be analyzing all the sections in which he appeared to:

get a clearer idea of his character, and 

maybe squeeze just a liiittle more content for HCs etc.

For this post, I’ll be doing Sequence 3-1 “The Color of Right”. As you can expect from the Colonel’s first appearance, this scene’s straight up packed with key details about his character—I’m talking mannerisms, value systems, ideals, and more. 

Highlights! 　❗️The Colonel’s Negotiation Skills 　❗️The Colonel & Templar Beliefs

I’m essentially writing out my thoughts on what’s happening on screen as they go, so I highly recommend keeping a Rogue playthrough open in another tab for maximum clarity. 

🌟 Thanks to the-colonel-who-cares for assisting with the beta reading! 

This post has a lot of text and a lot of screenshots, so the rest of it goes under the cut.

[SQ3-1] The Color of Right

— Part I: First Meeting — Shay took down the gang members in the Greenwich HQ, and met the Colonel for the first time.

　The scene opens with Prosperity and Decay, an ominous and rather foreboding track which does a great job at underlining this scene's uneasy calm and tense undercurrent. Although Shay's opinion of the Colonel, whom he just met, did get better towards the end of the segment, at the beginning he's still very much unsure of what to make of the man.

　We start with Shay feeling alert and suspicious: upon noticing the Colonel, he narrows his eyes at him and his hand goes straight to his pistol. It's pretty clear at this point that he's not going to be instantly cooperative.

　Now the first thing the Colonel does to deal with this is raise his hands, which, together with his telling Shay to be at ease, and that they're friends (promptly name-dropping the Finnegans to make sure that his point gets through quickly), says something very, very clearly―"I'm NOT your enemy". Then, and only then, does he introduce himself.

　The Colonel follows up by thanking Shay for taking down the criminals, but Shay's first and almost reflexive response to this show of gratitude is, surprisingly, contempt. He combatively, condescendingly questions the sincerity of the Colonel's concern. Watch his tone and body language as he spits on the very idea that the Colonel could even actually feel anything about the city and its people. The way he blinks and throws out his arms questioningly before saying "What do you care?", and the contemptuous tone with which he says that line, is absolutely dripping with poison.

　And in this moment, we catch a glimpse of Shay’s infamous troublemaker side. Here he is, raring to go—a commoner challenging not just any redcoat, but a goddamn British military officer right in his face. This is the Shay that gets into bar brawls, the one who can't stay out of fights for long; this is the Shay who has zero innate respect for authority, and this is the Shay who can and will fearlessly call bullshit on anybody, even his "social betters", if he thinks they deserve it.

　Now to be fair to Shay, he’s not just looking for trouble out of boredom. We know there’s no love lost between him and the redcoats, judging by how he treats them from the very first scene. They were his enemies, plain and simple.

　However, in the wider scope of things, his behaviour isn’t anything particularly unusual—historically speaking, during the period Rogue is set in, there's a lot of tension going on between the Irish and the British, since the latter is pretty much on an all-out bender to subjugate the former. Needless to say, this creates a lot of bad blood between the two sides, so Shay’s reaction, while quite aggressive, isn’t really out of place considering the social mood of the time. 

　But one thing is clear―Shay is straight up looking for a fight, and he was no pushover; he's totally ready to back up his fighting words with an actual fight. He would have no qualms (and might even rather enjoy) socking a redcoat in the face...or worse. Their shared acquaintance of the Finnegans is probably the only thing that reined him in for now, and had that the risk of causing his caretakers further trouble not been on his mind (he certainly seemed to have momentarily forgotten it when he taunted the Colonel). Hell, he might've even thought of roughing him up. I mean, he's a trained Assassin―he's got good reason to believe that he could 100% beat the stuffing out of this guy AND escape afterwards. 

　Now watch the Colonel totally avoid falling in line with Shay's predictions by simply not fighting back. Normally, you'd expect any other redcoat, common soldier or otherwise, to whack Shay right across the face to teach the rude, uppity brat a lesson. And he’d have a pretty strong case in his defense too, since it was undeniably Shay who "started it". 

　But here's the point: the Colonel isn't just any other redcoat. Not only did he accept Shay's pointed accusation (which would've been doubly hurtful if he did truly care about the townspeople), he did so with grace; you don't see him squirm, you don't see him trying to deny or make excuses for his colleagues' behaviour. Neither did he get defensive and try to justify their wrongs. "Not getting reactive" seems like a simple action, but it suggests the presence of a significant amount of self-control―and, in extension, control over the situation. He didn't get angry, or violent, or emotional, which would surely have led to a confrontation where everything spins out of control and would surely end with one of them bleeding out on the ground; instead, he was able to keep Shay talking, and also gain a foothold in the argument by introducing the idea, the possibility, to Shay that whatever "the redcoats" had done, this redcoat in front of him intends to do differently. 

　Of course, Shay's not stupid or gullible, so he doesn't immediately trust this weird fellow who had not only completely circumvented his open invitation to a fisticuff, but also actually continued to try converse with him to boot. As far as he's concerned, the logic of "redcoats=bad people=enemies", an observation doubtless fed by years of experience that agreed with that statement, still held strong. Even so, the Colonel managed to get Shay, who is suspicious as heck and obviously not a big fan of anyone with his profession, to at least let him try to prove himself different.

　Okay, now let's take a look at the Colonel's side of the conversation, which plays like a masterclass in conflict resolution. After explaining who he was to take the edge off Shay's defensive stance, and taking the brunt of Shay's scorn head on afterwards, we see him accepting the fact that yes, a lot of his comrades have indeed "been less than helpful", and it can't be helped that Shay feels animosity towards him. 

　Now look at his body language here―he averts his eyes when speaking of his less compassionate colleagues, and his talking speed noticeably drops, like he's looking for the right words to say. Shit, I'd even go as far as saying he looks visibly sad about this―watch his eyes, the crease in his eyebrows. But far from being a sign of refusing to look at the unfortunate truth, this comes across as a very empathetic gesture―it's less "yeah, I guess so...I guess //shrug" and more of a "yeah, I know―what a shame, isn't it?" The slight, almost imperceptible nod at the end of it just seals the deal―this is the Colonel telling Shay that he isn't about to run away from the charges Shay had brought up against him. 

　But he wasn't just going to take it all sitting down, and not do anything about this injustice whose existence he just told Shay he's well aware of―he will, he tells Shay, take a different approach. If his comrades are going to abuse their authority and mistreat the common people, he claims, then he won't do the same thing. Now clearly this isn't something Shay hears very often, much less think possible, so naturally he's rather suspicious of the Colonel's intentions. His first instinct would've been that if this guy isn't in it as a "landlord", oppressing the townsfolk for his own gains, then well, he's probably after something else just as selfish. So this is where the Colonel's words again pulled the rug right out from under his feet, because, going entirely in the opposite direction, the object of his suspicion instead said the most selfless thing―that he cared for the welfare of the citizens.

　Okay, here comes the most important line in the Colonel's primary characterization. Questioned on his motivations by Shay, who doubtless wondered why the Colonel would take the trouble of going against the party line (a thing that Shay, who freshly broke away from his Brotherhood doing just that, may even have a personal interest in knowing), he answered:

"I care."

　First, let's talk about the delivery of this line (or, well, phrase) itself. It's short, it's sweet, it gets straight to the point―in two words, the Colonel posits that he does what he does out of a highly personal sense of duty to look after the people, plain and simple. It's only after a pause to let this sink in that he elaborates on the statement by saying he wants safety and prosperity for New York's citizens, but even then it's all very bare-bones, and its straightforwardness is supported by his tone, which sounds like the very embodiment of someone saying something just like that―no stumbling, no doubt, no hesitation. With no flourish to it, it doesn't look like he's trying to make a show of flexing his moral muscles here, either. He answered Shay's grilling with an answer that rings like a simple truth, and that gives the line the impact it needed to make an impression on the still suspicious Shay.

　Now let's look at the gestures: speaking of his wishes for New York's welfare, he throws his gaze down the street and lightly spreads his arms, motioning to the city as a whole. That, and his following expression, gives him a very vulnerable air. He'd stated his thoughts on the issue, and laid them out for Shay to judge. These are the actions of a man who has nothing to hide, and the effect is instantaneous―Shay still hasn't been completely won over, but there's a considerable drop in the combativeness of his behaviour from that point onwards, and he's now more open to the idea of keeping up a conversation with the Colonel.

　With Shay still skeptical but more importantly somewhat calmed down, the Colonel now has a fighting chance in trying to get Shay to at least allow him the opportunity of proving his sincerity.

❗️The Colonel’s Negotiation Skills

　 The Colonel’s methods here reminded me of crisis/hostage negotiation techniques, which generally places a huge emphasis on staying calm, building rapport with an uncooperative/emotionally wrought individual, and working on convincing the other guy that they can trust you enough to help them resolve the situation in a less destructive way. Of course, their first encounter is more of a standard argument between two parties who are supposed to have a lot of mutual antagonism than a hostage situation, but I did find it interesting that one key phrase that comes up a lot in the context of such negotiations is that the ideal resolution to the conflict is gaining what they call “voluntary compliance”—that is, getting someone to do what you want them to do without forcing them into it—from the target. I’m sure the Colonel most likely didn’t have any formal training in that craft, but the idea that you can actually codify what you need to do to win someone’s trust does add a more sinister sheen to his intentions. 

　On my end, I think the Colonel’s being honest with a lot of things here, and professional negotiators do tend to stress that their techniques need some actual sympathy from their end in order to work at all, but for people who want to write an unapologetically manipulative Colonel, I think it’s a interesting topic to look into. 

― Part II: Freedom From Want ―

　The Colonel attempts to prove his "noble words" immediately by putting them into practice, and instructs Shay to use the gang's stolen funds to renovate an old church in the city.

　The Colonel says what's on Shay's mind, impressing upon the still wary man that he understands what going through his mind―that Shay has no reason to trust him yet. Shay's reply this time is decidedly tame; he's no longer spitting bile by default. Instead, he now asks for more elaboration on the common ground the Colonel introduced earlier: their shared friendship with the Finnegans, whom we know Shay thinks of dearly.

　The Colonel states that his relationship with the Finnegans is tied to the fact that their late son was a subordinate of his. He further extends the common ground by saying that Shay's "much like him", drawing a straight parallel between the two men. Now, you don't make a comment like that unless you expect the other guy to ask why you said that, which is exactly what Shay does next. This can be a normal conversation...or it could be the Colonel deliberately reeling Shay further into that common ground to build a connection. Is this just friendly talk that naturally evolved from Shay's question about the Finnegans? Or is it a calculated move by the Colonel to draw Shay into trusting him more? Or is the Colonel honestly reminiscing about the past, slightly shaken after being caught totally unaware by the fact that the Finnegans had decided to give Shay his late protégé's robes? You decide ;^)

　The Colonel then elaborates on the late Finnegan Jr, painting the picture of a saint―a young man who had cared about the townsfolk, who had wanted to "do good by the people", and wanted to make the world a better place. Now all these are good things, and only it would take quite a disagreeable personality to shit on that at this point. But this isn't just about Finnegan Jr.; by stating outright that all this was a dream both Finnegan Jr. and himself shared, intentionally or not, he's essentially also painting himself in the same light. He might’ve planned that, or he might not, but Shay would likely feel that the Colonel’s a more agreeable person given that he shows great appreciation for the charitable spirit of people like Finnegan Jr.

　Next, here comes the Freedom of Want line. It's really important, so I'll tack the whole thing here:

"Mere survival is not enough. Full bellies, warm clothing... Freedom from want is the greatest freedom of all."

　There are two things I want to talk about when it comes to this line. The first is the nature of benevolence in these lines, and the target of that benevolence. Now, the Colonel made it absolutely clear from the get-go that he isn't concerned only for the wellbeing of what we might call the “important people” (a.k.a. the higher social class, the “somebodies” of society), but all the citizens of the city―this includes the absolute poorest members of the society, who would most likely long for this "freedom from want". Speaking of that freedom from want, how did he define it? He outlines it as having "full bellies, warm clothing"―he's talking about the right to a comfortable life, to the basics of not just barely surviving, but of a life worth living on a physical, biological level. Now this is important because, aside from having a very humanitarian angle to it, it will strike Shay in a raw spot―Shay, who spent his childhood in a harsh environment, who's got a lot of brushes with poverty, reeling from one tavern to the next, feeling like he was never taken care of by anyone. And it's a strong callback to Shay's first accusation to the Colonel―that he was no different from a landlord wringing his poor tenants dry while said tenants are breaking their backs trying to earn just enough to not die of hunger in the streets. 

　The second thing is, of course, the obvious jab at the Assassins―I don't think anyone would deny that the Colonel is a Templar through and through, and, looking for all the world like he'd known and fought Assassins for a long time, he likely already knows their arguments about the concept of freedom by heart. Given that he's likely very much aware of the importance of the word "freedom" to the Assassins, and also that he knows that Shay's one of them, it's highly possible that the Colonel picked his words very deliberately for this line. But I would argue that it's not malicious; I don't think he's sassing the Assassins' ideals here, because he never seems to be the kind of man who indulges in petty sarcasm like that (although whatever he thinks the Assassin brand of freedom is, he very likely disagrees with it, or at least figured the Templar take on it is preferable). What I'd say he's trying to do here is introducing a different sort of freedom―one that he hopes Shay could get behind.

[PS. On a side note, “freedom from want” is recognizably one of the Four Freedoms, which can be rephrased as a “right to an adequate standard of living”. I wonder if it’s a reference... In any case, I just want to say that trying to figure out why this seems to be a topic of personal importance to the Colonel is a great way to start working on his backstory.]

　Shay's sarcastic side then comes out again as he prods the Colonel about his goodwill. On one hand, it's just Shay being Shay―giving people playful grief is just a part of his personality. Under the surface though, we see him buying more and more into the idea presented by the Colonel: when they first talked, Shay ridiculed that very same goodwill, acting as if it's only common sense that it doesn't really exist, but at this point he's like, hey, idk, maybe it could be real this time? You can see him get more comfortable around the Colonel; whatever techniques the Colonel's employing to get on Shay’s good side, it's clearly working.

　Now let's see how the Colonel takes issue with Shay's idea that the relationship between the Colonel and the citizens is that of the governor and the governed. One interesting point here is that Shay is still talking to the Colonel like he's "the British Government", not an individual in his own right. Shay is still subconsciously conflating the Colonel's actions with his party's actions, and this is where it gets very interesting―the Colonel staunchly, flatly, even snappily, denies that claim.

　The Colonel is, generally, a very calm speaker―his tone is very stable, and he talks in a very measured manner. This makes any sudden rise in his voice very noticeable. Listen to the way he says that line:

　"I do not govern, Master Cormac. I merely assist."

　He's clearly put off by Shay's words; compared to his previous line, there's an obvious change in volume and force in his denial, and his voice only returns to normal at the back half of that line. Now I don't know about you, but the speed at which he shot back makes that part sound...unscripted. That's either top-grade acting, or the Colonel’s instinctive response to Shay stepping on his tail.

　As for why this caught my eye, I think it's interesting on two levels―on a personal level as a hint to what the Colonel thinks of his own role in society, and on a grander level as a reference to the position of the Templar Order in the world as an organization.

　Starting with the first one, if the Colonel did in fact shoot this line back reflexively, that's a huge hint to his personality. It's interesting because it's a rejection―he claims to not be a "governor", someone who rules over others and calls the shots only expecting his subjects to obey, but an "assistant", who is here to help others along. By the way he said this line, he might have even viewed this distinction with pride.

　On the greater scale, this line can also take on a shady note to it because "assisting, not governing" is very much in line with the Templar Order's overarching strategy ever since the time of the Borgias (AC:Revelations’s Abstergo Files are a good read for more on this).

　As such, there's a lot of complexity in how we can interpret this bit. Is the Colonel just calling back to his party stance? Or is he, through the actions he carries out, trying to write his own version of how to execute this Templar strategy, in direct opposition to how most of his other comrades (read: ye standard-issue villainous Templar) interpret it? Does he take this line to mean really "helping people out and guiding them to greatness", not just "manipulating them like pawns as part of your personal agenda"? The striking difference here, and whether one believes the gap exists or not, is pretty much what sets him apart from the generic Templar.

　Next, they arrive at the dilapidated church. Watch his phrasing here:

　”We can make it better."

　See how quickly he reels Shay in as part of the team, not an outsider. It might feel a bit sudden given they literally just met, but it’s definitely a good line for building camaraderie—it’s the Colonel quietly stressing that they’re on the same side now.

　He also mentions that urban renewal is “a new science that had already proven effective on the Continent". In addition to showing that he takes the Templars’ focus on being people of science and technological advancement seriously, this bit also gives us a look at his other interests outside his immediate occupation. And from the look of it, it's not the first time he's renovated a building; arranging for resources means that he had to organize the logistics at some prior point, and these materials needed to be sourced, paid for, transported―if you want to get really grounded, this isn't something that easily just happens without a lot of paperwork. Had he built an existing logistics network for this?

　Having fixed the church, he suddenly brings up the topic of watching over New York. Judging by Shay’s outburst of anger towards the “landlords” mismanaging the area earlier in the scene, the Colonel can probably make a educated guess that this responsibility’s something that will resonate with the man at this point.

　He ends their meeting by saying, “after all, a man needs purpose". Now, everybody knows "purpose" is an extremely important keyword in Templar ideology, so I doubt he used this word on a whim here. He's obviously trying to give Shay a sense of direction―a direction that, unsurprisingly, lines up with the Colonel's interpretation of Templar ideology.

❗️The Colonel & Templar Beliefs

　Despite its shortness, this scene does a great job at encapsulating a lot of things about the Colonel’s personality, and his particular idea of what his Order’s beliefs stand for, ie.-”doing good by the people”.

　As in any other belief system, the “true meaning” of the Order’s philosophy is likely something hotly debated among the Templars themselves, much like how various Assassins have incongruous ideas of how their Creed should be put into action (Mackandal v. Ah Tabai, Bellec v. Arno, etc. etc.). Given that the Templars are supposed to play the antagonist in the Ass Creed series, their ideology’s unethical applications inevitably tend to take center stage whenever they get mentioned, but the presence of Templars like the Colonel who register as “good” does bring up the fascinating topic of what Templar ideology looks like when exercised in a righteous way. That said, the Colonel seems to have a strong attachment to the concept of being a charitable Templar, which begs a lot of questions—how does he feel about his less-than-helpful comrades in the Order? The British Rite under Birch, or even the Templar Order in general, likely has a great proportion of dodgy figures in it—how does he deal with having to work with them? Assuming he’s not the only member of the Order who believes that a Templar has the responsibility of executing their ideology in a morally upright way, could there be factions within the Rite that are at odds with each other’s take on their shared belief system? All this would make the British Rite’s internal politics incredibly interesting to think about.

🤔 Extra: Chapter Questions

Okay, now that we’ve reached the end of the sequence, there are several unanswered questions that presumably had crossed the viewer’s mind at some point:

Q1. Why did the Colonel even let Shay live? What’s his game plan? Q2. How much did the Colonel know about Shay's personality/background? Q3. How much of this encounter is staged?

Since these questions need the whole of his cutscene discography to answer properly, I’ll do them in a later post, but they are intriguing Qs to keep in mind as we go! :^D

[recentanimenews]

FEATURE: Happy 10th Anniversary To Every Anime Opening Ever Made (The Video)

  I don't remember where I was at when I first watched "Supercut - Every Anime Opening Ever Made," but I do remember the inescapable truth it showed me after I watched it. Maybe I was on Gaia Online or some other forum when someone posted the link and asked "have you seen this?" I started the video and saw the seagulls flying in the sky. Then the white text on a black background showed up, saying that the following was in every single anime opening sequence...

    The montage began! Cameras heading towards the sun! Going right into the character's eyes! The running! This dude was right: This stuff IS in every anime opening!  

  This Youtube supercut turns ten years old today, and if you were in the anime fandom around 2010 you had probably seen this video at some point. Now with 3 Million views, I think the reason it resonated with so many people is that for as much anime we watched, we probably noticed these trends but didn't make the full connection until it was fully presented in front of us. Regardless of genre or tone, there was this underlying connective tissue across dozens of shows that we may or may not have seen before. And shown in such a slick and edited fashion provided a connection across the shows we love.   While videos like this are likely uploaded onto Youtube now more than I can imagine (maybe even right now as I write this!), this supercut was the original, back in a time when fandom was certainly a lot smaller and growing. Even though Youtube was becoming more of a hub for anime content  (as we were slowly getting out of the Bleach-episode-split-into-three-parts era), fandom was more split in the sense that everyone had their own particular hub or forum they claimed home. There was no AniTwitter or Youtube Community tab to trudge around and find out what wider fandom was talking about. And yet, everyone seemed to have come around and appreciated this, a small stepping stone to what the community would end up becoming today.   I was just going to celebrate this little piece of fandom fun with an article going down memory lane, but I decided to try to reach out to Derek Lieu, the original creator of the video, to see if he had anything to add for this retrospective. And luckily he got back to me really quickly! Can you first introduce yourself and what you do?   My name is Derek Lieu, I currently live in Brooklyn NY and I make video game trailers! I’ve worked on trailers for Firewatch, Subnautica, Spelunky 2, Ooblets, Dead Cells, Half-Life: Alyx, and a lot more.   How did you get the idea to make the "Every Anime Opening Ever Made" video?   When I learned the American X-Men animated series from the 90s had alternate opening sequences made for when it aired in Japan I became fascinated by what made those openings so distinctly Japanese. I don’t remember my precise thought process, but I started downloading textless versions of anime openings from YouTube to start, and started sorting the footage. I think the one exception I made was for Neon Genesis Evangelion because I couldn’t not include it.   About how long do you think it took to edit?   Believe it or not the whole project took about an afternoon and maybe part of the evening. Downloading all the openings took longer than the actual editing. After downloading them I sorted the different tropes into categories like I normally do when editing stuff. Once the footage was sorted I barely moved anything around except to adjust for music sync and also where each chunk of tropes fit into the video. I used a specific Ayumi Hamasaki song which was used for the cel-shaded Molly Star Racer trailer (which much later became Oban Star Racers). The original remix song is much longer so I edited it down to about 3.5 minutes.  

  Is there anything in particular that stood out to you when you were making it? (Outside of so many shows using the same shots, obviously haha)   I think the main thing that occurred to me is that so many of these tropes are just great ways to create cool moving images using as little animation as possible, but which still feel dynamic and fun to watch. One interesting bit of trivia is Trigun is one of the few series whose opening is footage from episodes cut together. This was by far the exception to the rule.   I remember this video very fondly back in the earlier Youtube days, and it has 3 Million views as to date. Did you ever expect it to be that successful?   Haha, not in the slightest. It seems the videos I give the least amount of thought always get the most number of views and the ones I spend a lot of time get the fewest.   What do you think is your favorite and least favorite "trope" in the original video?   I like the head turns. I didn’t even give attention to that one when I started the project, but it very quickly revealed itself as one of the most common ones. I don’t think I have a least favorite; they’re all fun to watch. One of the funniest is a person reaching their hand out to someone on the ground; I like this one because it’s so incredibly specific.  

  Do you still watch any anime? And if you do, do you see any of those same shots/frames/movements in particular still being used today?   I don’t currently watch any anime, but I assume a lot of openings still use a lot of these tropes. Because they cover everything from standing still to running. I later made a video for unique anime openings because there are some which have really great stylized art and interesting images. I also made one for classic anime from the 80s and earlier which helped me see where a lot of the tropes originates.   Do you have any other thoughts on the video looking back on it ten years later?   Reading comments from people who watched it as a kid and now are rewatching it as adults makes me feel old, haha. Also, people keep telling me I “forgot” an anime. I once tallied all the anime people say I excluded and the list was far far longer than the number of anime in my video. Also, a lot of people mention anime which released after the video was made :P One bit of trivia, I didn’t include any Naruto because at the time I thought it would’ve been funny to exclude the most popular anime at the time. Sorry, Naruto fans.   We'd like to thank Derek Lieu for not only making the video, but also for taking the time to speak to us. You can find him on Twitter and Youtube.  

    Kyle Cardine is an Editor for Crunchyroll. You can find his Twitter here.

By: news+feed@crunchyroll.com

[jimclassicstoycollection]

Transformers: War For Cybertron: Siege

Titan class

Omega Supreme

Omega Supreme was the last of my massive spending spree in September of 2019. Between the Siege Skywarp, Legends Jetfire, and the Rain Makers I got Omega Supreme around that very same week. This was an expensive two weeks for me.

Omega arrived in the mail about a good week before my dad died. Working on the past few reviews have kind brought some of it back for me; putting my head back in that timeline and all that, so that’s one reason why it’s taken me so long to get this one out.

I should also mention that this review will be very picture intensive; I probably will have more pictures than I will have things to say about the toy.

The Box:

For those of you who frequently check out this blog you’d know that I don’t normally gush about the box; I have a tendency to just focus on the toy itself.

That being said; OMG I love the box art!!!!

This box art demonstrates the power, grand, and sheer enormous size of this Guardian Robot.

Ever since I was a kid I loved the tech spec character art which was on the transformers toys, and the Siege line has done an excellent job with the the box art. It’s a shame these guys don’t come with any tech specs, or collector’s card much like Combiner Wars, Titans Return, and Power of the Primes did.

Hasbro, make a collector’s card! You were doing great for three toy lines, you should have kept that up!

Much like my Titan class Devastator and Fortress Maximus I’m keeping the box for Omega Supreme (I have titan classes Trypticon and Predakng, but I’ve never even opened them up yet…I will…one day).

Countdown-

Countdown is a Micromaster going all the way to G1. I never had the original toy, but I think he had a rocket base of his own and it turned into a gun platform, or something. I like this guy being partnered with Omega Supreme now is pretty appropriate in my opinion.

Vehicle Mode:

Countdown’s vehicle mode is a moon rover. This is a mostly unpainted toy, and his primary colors are red and light tan plastic.

It’s got some good sculpted details, and has a cool radar dish. If you look hard enough you can see two, teeny, tiny seats; however considering Countdown’s a Micomaster they would be smaller than any human could sit in, but it’s all a nice touch.

It rolls well on four black wheels.

There is a 5mm peg underneith the rover which folds down, and can peg onto any 5mm port, similar to an old Transformers Armada Minicon, but in reverse; the Minicon wold have the 5mm and the larger robot would have the 5mm peg.

Transformation:

Transformation is…well it’s a MicroMaster this isn’t rocket science…or in this case…rover science…but it’s easy.

Robot Mode:

For what he is the robot mode is pretty cool.

He stands well, like any decent toy should, and I love how the radar dish tucks nicely into his back.

For such a tiny guy we see much of the same sculpted detail, however we also see more of the light tan which is his body, and that face sculpt is amazing! 

This is a small toy, but that face has some good detail, a nice silver paint, and bright blue eyes, and i swear his mouth has a cocky smirk.

I don’t know the character enough to know if this is appropriate of him, but i do like it.

Well done, Hasbro. Now keep it up. 

Articulation is…limited; it is a Micromaster after all.

Ball-jointed shoulders and hips, and a bend at the knee.

Let’s move on to why you’re all here.

Omega Supreme-

Since Omega Supreme splits into three separate things I’ll be talking about each one separately, starting with the rocket mode.

Rocket Mode:

Starting with the rocket we see here…a rocket. Well, it’s gray, long and cylindrical, and an excellent symbol for robo-male virility, maybe…

I’m joking, but this rocket is pretty big, bigger than I think maybe it should be.

The rocket is most made out of unpainted gray plastic, with some red plastic for parts of the bulkhead, silver paint at the very top. The only paint aps that I can see are some burn marks near some of the 5mm ports. You don’t even get an Autobot badge on the rocket, that’s a little disappointing…

Down by the primary thruster are clear orange plastic bits for the…rocket…claw…

Well, Omega Supreme’s a rocket, but he’s not an Earth rocket; the claw parts could be anything….Landing struts! They’re landing struts!!!!

The rocket stands well on the orange struts, and each strut has 3 points of articulation for height differences, or balance, or whatever, really.

What the rocket lacks in paint deco it makes up for in sculpted detail. I’m going to be saying this a lot through the review, but you see so much panel detailing, pipes, gribbly…(I don’t know what a gribbly is, but it’s fun to say), on this toy you will rarely see a smooth surface.

The rocket has nine 11mm ports for guns or blast effects.

I’m not going to lie, this rocket was a real pain to display on a flight stand. Due to the fact that it’s a narrow plastic tube I really didn’t have anything which could properly support it for very long, so I did my best, and I do not recommend using this set up for the rocket mode.

Aside from the 5mm ports are on the rocket I didn’t see anything that would even come close to a display port, unless someone makes stand with 5mm ports in mind, I don’t know of any.

Speaking of 5 mm ports, four out of the eleven by the landing struts and the main thruster, the nose cone of the rocket, and six around the rocket itself. And as any 5mm port they can be used for either the blast effects or weapons if you’re so inclined.

Tank Mode:

The tank is a really beefy, chonky boi! (Am I memeing correctly?)

The tank alone is as large as a modern day leader class figure. Big…but light weight…It’s a mostly hollow vehicle mode.

The paint deco is minimal, a lot of the devil is in the sculpting, and what a sculpt this bruiser is!

This tank is covered in great sculpting detail; you see all sorts of gribblys and other things. The tank is mostly unpainted gray plastic. The red at the hatch is painted while the tank barrel is red plastic. The tank treads are painted, and the secondary and tertiary guns are painted in a gun metal gray. There’s some yellow paint up at the main gun turret, and lastly there’s a lovely tampograph Autobot symbol on the clear orange window near the front.

The only 5mm ports on the tank are the three forward facing guns, but they look fantastic with the blast effects!

Unfortunately the tank turret doesn’t swivel at all, because of the robot head directly behind it that main gun is pretty much just going to…FACE forward….that was a lousy pun, I apologize…

The tank treads don’t actually work, however turning the tank over we see these barbell-like uni-wheels (I’m not exactly sure what to call them obviously), but these are bit shorter than the base track, and they roll well enough for what they are.

If you open up the front of the tank (which can be a bit annoying) reveals a space for Countdown to park in a specific groove. Now there is also a ramp which Countdown can roll down.

My one issue with the opening hatch is that the plastic is a bit thinner, and it tabs into place; un-tabbing the hatch frightens me sometimes because I’m worried that I’m going to break it. So, just be careful when opening it up. 

Base Mode:

I’ll be very honest here, the base itself is probably the least interesting thing about Omega Supreme, however essential with the overall figure.

Without the rocket or the tank nearby the base is quite the empty structure. It’s basically a large track held up on some (possibly flimsy) scaffolding with a hollow tower in the center.

Yes, you still see all the nice gribblys and the details all about the base mode, but it’s still quite an uninteresting environment.

Both tracks are tabbed into the main base/command tower by these new Siege clips, and are supported by these thin, gray plastic scaffolding. I am concerned about breakage. They do feel solid enough, however I can’t shake the feeling that they’re going to break one day at the hinges.

Maybe I’m just reminded of breaking my toys as a child when I was too rough with them, but I cannot get the concern out of my mind.

There is a tiny ramp located behind the inner walls for the base mode meant for the MicroMasters to drive up. It’s a pretty steep ramp, and it has these new connectors which is meant to attach the Earthrise MicroMaster bases…I mean the upcoming ones, of course…

The tank (at least the original G1 toy) is supposed to ride along on the bases track on an endless loop, but for Siege Omega the tank is much wider than the track, so the treads are just hanging over them. I mean, you still could do it but personally I don’t think it looks very good, so maybe the track should be reserved for the Autobots to drive around on, or defend the perimeter while the larger tank has free range to go wherever. 

Once we get the rocket and tank in place and place some Legends class figures around it, Omega Supreme’s base mode is a more impressive sight.

Mind you, he’s not a fortress like…well, Fortress Maximus, he’s a rocket base.

At the top part of the rocket are two opening hatches which allow a Micromaster (or even a Legends Class figure) inside to pilot. It’s all unpainted, sculpted detail, but you see a little computer screen, and dials and stuff. Some paint applications would have been nice through.

Transformation:

Where the original G1 Omega Supreme is a parts-former, which requires a great deal of assembly to build the complete figure, Siege Omega has a simpler conversion process, and once you transform the rocket into both of the arms, the tank into the chest and head, the base to the legs and torso, and the finally the tracks fold up to the wings. 

Once that’s all done its quick to assemble.

Blast Effects:

Omega Supreme comes with 7 blast effects. Maybe you’ve noticed this, and maybe you haven’t but for the past several toy reviews I’ve been using Omega’s blast effects for my Seekers and Rain Makers, Galaxy Optimus prime, I’ve been heavily using this. 

That’s because I really love these blast effects and I couldn’t wait for me to eventually get around to my Omega review to put them to to good use.

One thing I would like to see Hasbro or Takara to sell blast effects separately to for more figures to use. 

Robot Mode:

This Guardian Robot is stomping onto the scene! This is quite a bulky and solid toy.

Much like the rocket, or the tank, or the base mode the completed robot mode doesn’t have a lot of painted detail; it’s all in the sculpting and the unpainted, colored plastics. Which I’m not complaining; Omega Supreme is not a character you really need to over think.

He’s covered in details and gribblys he has a total of 19 5mm ports! That is a lot, but then again Omega is so big, and many of the weapons are so small, it probably wouldn’t look all that impressive anyway. 

Sort of opposite of 2003′s Transformers Armada line Countdown has a 5mm peg of his own, and can be inserted into any 5mm port. I like to keep him on Omega’s shoulder.

For such a large figure Omega is really easy to pose, and has a good range of motion. He balances well, and strangely enough he doesn’t feel too heavy either.

Even with his size you can get Omega in some pretty decent poses.

His range of motion includes:

Up/down hinge at the head, left/right swivel at the neck

Swivel at the shoulder, up/down at the armpit

Bend at the elbow, and swivel at the elbow (no further articulation at the gun arm).

For the right arm we get a swivel at the base of the claw hand, each claw has three ratcheted hinges.

Waist swivel, and universal joints at the hips.

Thigh swivel, and a bend at the knee.

Finally Omega Supreme has an ankle pivot.

Over all for a toy of this size the articulation isn’t more or less than your average Siege figure, it’s just done to a larger scale, 

Omega’s claw hand is great! As mentioned above it has some great articulation, however I am a little concerned about translucent plastic of the claws. My understanding is that translucent plastic tends to be more brittle than opaque plastic, and is more prone to crack over time. We shall see.

I’m really digging Omega’s head sculpt. This is very accurate to the G1 cartoon series. Omega Supreme is basically wearing a space helmet with a clear yellow canopy, and a gun turret pony tail.

And the sculpted chest detail behind the clear yellow plating is so cool!

The yellow shoulder pecks can open up to reveal a series of missile pods. None of these are spring loaded missiles, they’re just part of the sculpt with red paint.

Another interesting thing about Omega is that his shin guards open up to reveal….well nothing too interesting, but it’s a little closet to carry a Micromaster around. But the sculpting on the inside of the door is pretty nice.

Final Thoughts:

When all is said and done I love Omega Supreme. He’s always been one of my favorite Transformers.

I would like a see just a little more paint detail, not a lot mind you, just a little more. I would have liked to see the computer consoles in the rocket painted, or maybe some pipes and wires, this figure was over $169.99 after all.

The hatch on the tank feels like a thinner plastic than the rest of the toy, and I’d be careful with the track scaffolding.

If you can keep all of that in mind, this titan class toy is titanic fun!

Recommended.

As much as I like the Combiner Wars Devastator figure there is a noticeable difference in quality between them. 

Devastator is functional, but when compared to Omega he’s lacking. 

I attempted to recreate the fanart battle by Transformers fan artist Dan Khanna. Don’t think I captured the moment too well, but I tried.

[noonaduck]

BTS - Sweet Dreams pt.8

Pairing: OT7 x reader Gendre: Fantasy AU,Supernatural AU, fluff, smut, angst words: 1744 Summary: Eight dreams and eight powers, tied together. Would they fall or would they rise? Y/N had seen dreams about seven men as long as she could remember. Namjoon was a regular guy who worked in a small bookstore. Jin has finally reached his dream and opened his very own cafe. Yoongi was a heir with future which was already planned for him. Jimin and Hoseok were partners in everything what they did in their life. Jungkook was an artist with complicated past. Taehyung was a knot which bond them together. Together they all were a circle with awakening powers. A/N: I had rewritten this chapter for a few times and I came to conclusion that it is good as it can be. 7. < 8. > 9. coming soon.

extra part.

[gifs belongs to their rightful owners]

Yoongi's Pov. Yoongi was walking along the forest path. It was snowing and bare trees looked like limbs of skeleton which were ready to grab him in any given moment. He was only wearing plain white shirt with ripped jeans, he didn't even have shoes on his feet. Another snow flake fell on his bare shoulder and Yoongi shivered from gold. He knew that he was dreaming, but he wasn't able to find his power to control water or in this case snow, like he has done so many times before. The snow was heavy and it almost reached his knees. He knew that his only option was to keep going, he had to find shelter on this merciless weather. The snowfall was getting even heavier and Yoongi looked more snowman than a real person at this point. He stops to take a breath and opens his palm. Snowflakes kept falling into his offered hand. Yoongi was wrong, it wasn't snow. The sky and the ground was full of ash and instead of bone shattering coldness he felt hot. Way too hot. He was burning and his skin was boiling. Yoongi falls on his knees and screams when his flesh burns away from his bones. Soon there isn't anything else left than kneeling skeleton in the sea of ashes.

  Yoongi awakes from his dream. Burning sensation is covering his body and he is shaking from the dream's effect. He had needed some rest and time to process things after he had read the conversation on the chat group. He didn't mean to fall sleep again. He can't remember times when he had felt so helpless in his dreamland. He could still feel the burning on his skin. He looks at his arms and torso. A horrified scream come from his lips. His skin is full of red burns, some of them are full of blisters and his skin is rotting around them. His bed is full of grey ash. Yoongi was wearing only his underwear and is quick to notice that rest of his body is unharmed.

''Master Yoongi are you okay? I heard screaming.'' Loretta's worried voice comes behind his bedroom door. Loretta is his personal maid from among the other workers which are working for his family. ''Everything is fine. I just had a nightmare.'' Yoongi explains and changes into sitting position. He hisses quietly when burnt skin rubs on to his sheets. ''I came just to remind you that you have to go to brunch with miss Lee in around hour.'' ''Thank you Loretta, I'll be ready by then.'' Yoongi  thanks and Loretta's steps fades away from the door. A brunch is the farthest thing that he wants to do right now or ever. Yoongi heads toward's his en suite bathroom and rams trough closet underneath of his sink for first aid kit. He puts it in the counter and turns the sink tab on. He let's cool water to pour over his wounds. He can't go see the doctor, because he isn't able to explain how he get his wounds for the doctor. Would any sane doctor believe that he woke up with them? Yoongi doubts that. The cold water eases the feeling of burning, but not nearly enough. Yoongi opens zipper of first aid kit and takes out few bandages and ointment that labels it's good for burns. Yoongi isn't a doctor of any kind and his work of patching himself is barely average. When he is done he just keep staring himself from the bathroom mirror. It's like someone decided that his life wasn't hard enough and it was time to discipline him. He never wanted to be rich, all he ever wanted was to have a normal life and maybe have a career as a rapper or a producer. Composing music was his way of venting his stress. Yoongi leaves his bathroom and moves walks carefully to his walk in closet, every move of his upper body hurts. He remembers how often he had wanted to close his eyes and never wake up, but for the first time in his life he was afraid of sleeping.

Hoseok's Pov. Hoseok puts his phone back to his pocket and begins pacing around the studio. He has always considered himself as a positive person who is open minded. And still, the whole dream thing was hard to swallow. He would have never dreamed that Jimin was actually in the same spot with him. Some nights he had drank until he wasn't able to walk straight, only because it helped him have a dreamless night. There was also  Taehyung  who seemed to know more than any of them involved in this. He wasn't sure what he felt towards him, maybe hate because of the whole mess or relief for the answers? When Hoseok had had messages from him he instantly wanted to back away and take some distance. As fast as he had left Taehyung's chat group he had been added back. Hoseok takes his phone out from his pocket again and rereads Taehyung's last message. TaeBolt: *Meet me in this address, Its time that we face this thing and stop avoiding it.* There was google map link for an address which wasn't far away from the dance studio. Hoseok makes a decision and collects his items on the floor. He chooses to see where all this supernatural stuff leads him. Hoseok hesitates in front of the apartment door. He has never been in so expensive looking building, there is only few other doors on the hallway, which tells about the big sizes of these apartments. Finally he takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. He hears arguing behind the door followed by steps that gets closer to the front door. The door is opened and a male who he hasn't seen before pushes his messy head out of the door. ''I got a message from Taehyung to come here.'' Hoseok says awkwardly after seeing the other male's curious look. The door is pushed wider and Taehyung's head pops out of the door as well. ''Oh ,you are first to arrive. Come in.'' Taehyung says smiling excitedly. ''This is my place.'' Another man grumbles for Taehyung's invation, but steps away from the door so Hoseok is able to get in. He must be Jungkook. ''Wait!'' Yell from other side of hallway stops Hoseok from entering in the apartment. Jin is running towards Hoseok and stops panting when he finally reaches him. Hoseok steps into an huge apartment followed by Jin. Hoseok is truly impressed by the place's black and white designs which succeeds to be interesting instead of boring. Hoseok leaves his shoes by the door and walks deeper into apartment. He arrives into spacious living area where pretty H/C girl is sitting on the couch in front of huge TV, which is muted. Hoseok notices her messy appearance and puts one plus one together. Maybe she and Jungkook were a couple or at least they had spend the night together. Jungkook sits on the opposite side of couch were the girl is sitting. Okay, maybe one time thing? Her name was Y/N, after all she was only girl of group so it was easy to remember. The doorbell rings again and Taehyung hurries to the front door like he owns the place. Hoseok sits on armchair next to couch followed by Jin, who sits awkwardly between Y/N and Jungkook. Taehyung comes back to living room followed by Namjoon and Jimin. Hoseok avoids Jimin's gaze. They haven't spoken much after that night at The Coffin. When he has been at home on same time as Jimin he has mostly stayed at his room and ignored Jimin's attempts of talk. Only Yoongi is still missing. It can't be that easy to leave whenever you want if you are rich heir. Speak on the devil and he shall arrive, The doorbell rings again. Taehyung spins around on his steps and goes back to front door. He comes back for the last time followed by tired looking Yoongi. Yoongi is wearing fancy suit, which is buttoned up all the way of his neck with a bow tie which is hanging loosely on his neck. Heavy dark circles are under his tired eyes.  Yoongi sit carefully on the floor next to Hoseok's chair and leans on it's arm. Yoongi sifts uncomfortably and hisses trough his teeth. Before Hoseok is able to ask what's wrong with him Taehyung speaks. ''Okay, everyone has finally arrived.'' Taehyung says happily and puts his hands together. ''Its' time for us to put a cat on the table.'' ''It's not a cat, its an fucking elephant.'' Jungkook mumbles. Hoseok couldn't agree more. ''You can call it whatever you want, but the fact this is our reality won't change for anything.'' Taehyung is annoyed for interruption. ''Talking about elephant's I have something to tell.'' By Hoseok's surprise Yoongi continues interrupting Taehyung who's face turns more annoyed. Yoongi stands up and begins to unbutton his shirt by everyone's surprise. ''As much I don't mind about little strip tease, I think it's not time for it.'' Jimin grins. Yoongi rolls his eyes at Jimin's words and under buttoned shirt reveals white bandages which are covering his whole upper body and arms. Jimin's grinning ends fast and serious look takes it place. Yoongi's jacket and dress shirt falls on the floor and upper body, which is covered by bandages, comes in sight. ''What has happened to you?'' Y/N asks with horrified look. She stands up and walks towards Yoongi. She stops in front of him and hesitantly touches his bandages. Yoongi hisses in pain and her hand falls from his body. ''I'm sorry.'' Y/N says and takes a step back, she seems really upset for hurting him. ''When I woke up this morning I was covered in burns. I had dream about freezing at first until I begun to burn alive. I wasn't able control it. All the powers that I should have, according by Taehyung, were gone.'' Yoongi is clearly shaken and his features are full of pain. Everyone's attention turns to Taehyung who's face has lost all it color. For the first time he doesn't have the answers they seek. ''I think its best that we call for my grandmother.'' He finally says and pulls his phone with shaky hands from his pocket. His grandmother answers after a few peeps. ''Nana? I need you. Can you come here?'' Taehyung asks with weak voice, which reveals a new side of him which anyone hasn't seen before.