#also had minor stuff from class. but that should be fine

[thehardkandy]

Anxiety has come back to being rather manageable last little but still as usual there's always stupid little stuff that make you go "oof ow ouch my relative sense of ease"

[morphids]

break up with your boyfriend, ellie williams

pairing: bestfriend!ellie x afab, curly haired,bi!reader (college au)

chapter: one shot (8k words whoops my finger slipped got my asd diagnosis today lol ig that explains that) proofread but if there's errors idk what to tell u

warnings: explicit sexual content, 18+ so minors dni, subish!ellie, loserlesbian ellie, poc friendly!! drug mentions, marijuana usage, friends to lovers, angst?? ellie gets her coochie ate, so does reader, fingering, ✂️✂️, all that good stuff, they essentially worship each other, cheating (not by reader but sus behaviours n thoughts fs) (tw::: men bf’s a dickspawn imsorry) homophobia.

summary: you have a horrible boyfriend, ellie’s always hated him. 

a/n: full word vomit im sorry if its ass but also i kinda lost my composure writing this 🤭🫣😵‍💫

AS ALWAYS FUCK DRUCKMANN AND ALL ZIONISTS, resources for Palestine and the daily click linked on my pinned post!

**

You were tired, drained. Hours had passed and you and your boyfriend were still at it. Angry words and misunderstood sentences all throughout the day had resulted in yet another fight between you.

"Dean, I've said it so many times, I can't go through it again,"

Dean, your boyfriend of a few months had a rocky track record, from keeping in close contact with his ex, to not telling interested girls that he's not single. The situation was always the same, you'd express your discomfort with something and he'd get angry, defensive. Then, eventually after so much arguing would get you to 'realise' that it's no big deal, that you shouldn't have reacted that way at all and in fact, you should apologise to him for making him feel like a cheater.

You had considered breaking up with him, so many times, in fact. Yet, you simply couldn't bring yourself to do it, still holding out with hope that things will improve.

"Baby, I swear nothing is going on, she's just my friend."

"Fine, okay." You ceased, feeling mentally drained by hours of conflict, "I have to go, need to meet Ellie, we have that test soon."

"You're leaving?" Dean said, clearly still agitated and pumping from the fight,

"Yes, Dean," you sighed, glancing in the mirror to double-check that your makeup hadn't been ruined from the previous crying, "I told you, this exam is really important," In other words, you have more things to be worrying about than your issues with him.

Gathering your books and piling them into your tote bag, you felt Dean's eyes on you, silently steaming as he saw you pick up your books.

"I'll see you later," Without looking back, you grabbed your keys from the side of the door and headed out.

He always had a problem with Ellie, which you couldn't understand, she was always supportive and kind to you. What reason would he have to dislike her?

You had been friends ever since that first physics class three years ago, you had sat in the row in front of her, over fifteen minutes into the lecture had passed until you felt a tap at your shoulder. Turning, you were greeted with green eyes and a smiling face adorned with light freckles.

"Hey, you got a spare pen?" She looked bashful, almost embarrassed that she hadn't been prepared even for the first class of the year. A half smile was placed on her lips. Amused, you gladly handed her a pen, pleased that you had an abundance of pens neglected at the bottom of your tote bag. You were always prepared, just not the most organised.

At the end of the lecture, she tried to hand you back the pen, but you refused and insisted she kept it, was she planning on asking someone for every class she had? That was just inefficient.

When you wouldn't accept the pen back, she ripped out a rough square from a page of her notebook, scribbling her number quickly so she could pay you back for the pen. 

You had been friends ever since, there was something that just worked. She had been there long before Dean and you would be damned if he was to get in the way of your friendship.

You had reached Dina and Ellie's place, they both shared the accommodation whilst you lived in a one-bed en-suite in a dorm. Dean lived at his fraternity, which you always hated going to meaning you spent most of the time at your place instead. 

Knocking, you only waited for a few seconds until the door swung open, revealing Ellie, clad in a white tank top and some grey sweatpants. The open door had caused a draught to haze through the air, the faint scent of smoke and music softly playing at a low volume.

"Hey, you." She spoke, smiling that usual smile that was seemingly tattooed on her lips. Ellie moved out of the doorway to let you in, closing the door behind you as you stepped into the familiar, comforting living room.

"Hey," your tone must have not been well received, as it prompted a,

"Well, what's gotten into you?"

"I've had the worst day, Dean-" you were interrupted by a slightly exaggerated groan, with an added,

"What has he done this time?"

"Ellie.." you sighed, dropping your tote from your shoulder and to the floor, kneeling down to pull out your books and pens.

"I'm serious," she threw her hands up, leaning against the edge of the desk where her work had been all set out already, "He's always up to some bullshit."

Ellie was confused, annoyed actually as you explained the situation to her. In her head, as a lesbian, the solution to these kinds of issues was so, so obvious to her; break up with him, he's not worth it. She had repeated this rhetoric to many of her men-loving friends, all of which refused to listen to her only to turn out heartbroken in the end, anyway.

"I wasn't exactly being rational either," you tried to explain, not that you were making excuses for him, but you felt a certain need to defend your relationship with Ellie. She was always so judgemental of the people you dated. You knew deep down that it was her way of looking out for you, she had consistently been the one to bring you comfort during your relationship breakdowns. And there had been a few of them.

"Don't do that, that's exactly what he wants," She spoke sympathetically, her words very soft considering that, mentally she was currently fighting Dean, and winning.

What was wrong with these guys? Ellie thought, you had dated some specimens before, but this new fraternity bro, Dean? She couldn't stand him.

Seemingly fuelled by his returned distaste towards her, but she knew the real reason why.

He was a pig. Flirting with any girl that'd give him attention, Ellie had caught him at parties with drunk girls hanging off his arms, inches away from their faces, centimetres away from cheating. Only for him to charm his way out of it when you confronted him. It pained her to see you go through this, especially when there were so many options out there. Like her, for example.

To be frank, Ellie's asking for that pen three years ago hadn't been entirely innocent. Whilst, it wasn't a lie per se, as she did, in fact, not have a pen on her first day, making her feel like the worst student on the planet.

She had taken notice of you when you first walked into that physics class. Eyeliner, framing the outer corners of your eyes and tight curly hair that lay perfectly around your face caught her attention. You were so beautiful, she knew she had to talk to you.

As you two had gotten to know each other over those first few months, her little crush had evolved from simple attraction to a full-blown, 'would rip the sun out of the sky if it meant seeing you smile', feelings situation. Whilst her initial intention had been to try and flirt a little bit, over time (really didn't take that long) Ellie realised that you were something special. The bond and groove you had as platonic friends was too great to risk ruining it all. So she decided, her feelings shouldn't be the thing to damage it. Ellie being Ellie, didn't know how to deal with said feelings, so she had made a pact with herself to never act on them, never expect anything other than platonic behaviour on your part, and never, ever let you find out. So whilst you dated, so did she.

"Anyways, can we talk about, literally anything else now? Like our exam that we have in a few days, perhaps?" You hummed, kicking your shoes off and sprawling on her couch, reaching down into your bag for something you had saved for this exact moment.

"Right, 'cos studying is the reason why you're laying dead on my couch right now." Ellie chuckled, joining you and holding your legs up to settle her body on the couch as well, before placing your legs on top of her lap.

"What are you even looking for?"

"Just wait, you'll see." You responded, still rooting through the bag, god where is it?

"Well, not if you can't find it in that damn bag, how do you even find anything in those?"

"Shut up," you chuckled, feeling better already. That's something you loved about Ellie, no matter what would happen to you, a few minutes with her and you'd feel like you had taken uppers.

"Ah, finally," you breathed out, fishing out a single joint that had become embarrassingly bent in the trauma that is, being an object lost inside the bottom of a tote bag.

Ellie laughed when her eyes caught sight of the bent joint, rubbing her eyes as they started to tear from the entertainment.

"You didn't have to go through that much effort to pull out that monster, plus you know I always have enough here, we don't need to smoke yours."

"It may look unfortunate, but this is the best shit in town right now." You tried to sell, "Got it from Xav,"

"Xav? How did you manage that?"

"One of Dean's frat brothers put in a huge order with him and sold me some, thought I'd save it so we could smoke it together." 

"You truly know the way to my heart," Ellie gushed, before leaning over your legs, to grab the closest ashtray and a lighter, passing it to you, roller's rights, after all.

"This doesn't look like studying, though," Ellie spoke, eyes falling to your lips as they wrapped over the end of the joint, sparking and taking a drag. She excused her thoughts.

"I just want some peace before I have to focus on work, you know?" You said, exhaling out the smoke.

Ellie sighed, knowing Dean was truly taking a toll on you, she watched as your face fell, obviously being reminded of the previous events. She wishes there was more she could do, how many times could she say leave him, before it sounded too obvious? Too pushy? Too out of line?

"Fuck him, don't worry about that for now. You're with me, this is a Dean-free zone." Ellie cheered, taking the lit joint as you passed it to her.

You felt her fingers trail random lines and shapes on your leg as she smoked, probably not even aware she was doing it. It was comfortable and set off a wave of sleepiness to hit you.

Ellie passed you the joint back,

"You going to that party tonight?" She asked,

"I don't know, I think Dean wants to go but I was planning on sitting this one out,"

"Why don't you come? Dina and Jesse will also be there, so you don't have to spend the whole party with him,"

"Fine, only because I haven't seen Dina and Jesse for a while,"

"I can live with that," she chuckled.

Deciding you were no longer comfy in that position, you lifted your legs up off Ellie, before manoeuvring your body so that you were sat side by side. Passing the joint back to her, you rested your head on her shoulder. What you didn't notice was Ellie's visible tensing the second you laid your head on her.

It wasn't like it was unusual behaviour from you, yet she reacted like this every time. 

"What do you think of it?"

"Fuck yeah, it's good," she swallowed, head turning to glance over at you resting your head comfortably on her shoulder, "You falling asleep down there?"

"No..." you mumbled, your voice visibly getting quieter as you were getting sleepier. You were just so tired. Constant arguing with Dean, working or studying. You needed a break, plus Ellie had a habit of being super comfortable to nap on.

"You sure?"

"No..."

"It's alright, have a nap, we’ll study later."

Ellie chuckled, she continued smoking the joint to its ends, relaxed by the sound of your breathing as you fell asleep. She took the opportunity to observe you for a minute, you looked peaceful, a hell of a lot more peaceful than you were when you first entered. She wished that you could always be that content, at peace. Ellie wanted you to be happy, whether with her or not, she just didn't want you so stressed and drained by yet another unhealthy relationship.  

It was then she took time to think, how messy the situation had truly become.

—

After your nap, you and Ellie actually did finally study, spending a few hours going over the course material and sharing notes. With a few distractions here and there, but successful nonetheless.

You were back at home, Dean seemingly long gone back to his own place, as you got yourself dressed for this party. Texting Ellie that you were ready, you awaited her knock on your door, as your place was a bit closer to the party you decided you'd make your way there together and you'd crash back at your house later.

Once she arrived, you two made your way to the party, it was in the next block of student accommodation, so it was only a quick walk.

Before long, you had reached the party, greeted by its loudness with thumping music and loud chatter.

"It's fucking packed," you complained, already nervous. The bass of the loud music echoing in your chest, exacerbating the anxiety you felt.  

"It will be okay, let's go find Dina and Jesse,"

It took a few glances to land on them but they had been settled in a corner with two other girls. One with short black hair and the other with long, blonde hair.

Making your way towards them, Dina spotted you and Ellie and eagerly waved you guys over to their spot.

"Bitch! Where have you been?" Dina questioned, and truly it had been an unreasonable amount of time since you'd seen her, which is weird considering how often you were at her and Ellie's place.

"Don't get me started," you sighed, whilst smiling at her and wrapping your arms around her.

"Well, it's good to see you, we missed you!" Gesturing towards herself and Jesse, who took his cue to also greet you.

Dina introduced you to her friends who were also sitting with them, the one with black hair was introduced as Cat, and the blonde was called Abby.

They were nice but you weren't too sure about the dark-haired one, she seemed a bit standoffish to you, only, but welcoming and friendly to everyone else in your group, and especially to Ellie. You noted it and placed the thought at the back of your head for dissection later.

In the ten minutes you had been there, Dean had spotted you and walked over. Causing an eye roll to come from Ellie,

"Hey, you're here!" He was drunk, words slurred and eyes heavily lidded. How much had he already had to drink?

Wrapping his arms around your waist, and nuzzling his face into your neck, the scent of alcohol lingered on him and you found that you didn't want him to be that close to you.

Your eyes met Ellie's briefly before she quickly looked away and took a long sip from her cup, which had been filled up with some vodka and whiskey mixed with some chaser by Dina. She turned her head away from you and began talking to Cat, faces a lot closer than most people. 

You tore your eyes away from their interaction, turning to face Dean.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Dean shrugged, too incapacitated to care too much before making his way back to some of his frat brothers. Yuck.

You were making your way to the bathroom, hoping to find the right door, but you weren't successful the first time, the second or the third. You were starting to wonder how many goddamn rooms were in this place until you finally reached it, and it was of course labelled with a stupid little diy frat sticker that said 'bathroom' featuring other, more immature graffiti. Apt, you thought.

The light was on but the door was slightly ajar, thinking nothing of it you walked in believing it to be empty. The room was also, of course, occupied. You mentally laughed at your own bad luck as you saw Abby sneaking a cigarette out the window. Her body perched up on the windowsill as she breathed the smoke out the open gap.

"Shit- oh it's just you," she chuckled, holding her hand on her heart indicating that you had slightly frightened her, clearly from her doing something she isn't supposed to be doing.

"Sorry, thought it was empty," you said, turning your body towards the door in an effort to leave her to it,

"You don't have to leave I'm just smoking this before any of my team sees me,"

That brought a smile to reach your lips,

"Why are you sneaking cigarettes like a 16 year old?"

"Athletes aren't really meant to smoke, but shit happens. I just don't want to hear it from coach." She mumbled taking her final drag, throwing the butt out the window.

"I'll take it to my grave," You promised, making a little zip motion on your lips.

"All yours," she smiled, making her way out of the bathroom.

"I won't take long, we can head down to the group together,"

So you did, exiting the bathroom, Abby smiling at you,

"Let's go?"

"Sure,"

You had travelled down the stairs, engaging in random, friendly small talk until you had reached everyone. Abby sat back down next to Dina and Jesse, who were ranting amongst themselves, whilst Cat and Ellie had been left to their own devices. Now, you and Ellie had been friends for a while, you kinda knew what she looked like when she was flirting with girls. And this was definitely that. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by Dean respawning in your face again,

"Wanna explain that?"

That completely broke you out of your little trance, explain what?

"What?"

"Why were you in the bathroom with her?"

"She was-" you remembered your promise to her, "We were just chatting, nothing weird happened, if that's what you're thinking."

He grabbed your wrist and walked with you to a quieter corner of the room,

"Why are you lying?"

"Dean, nothing happened we were chatting because she was in there when I walked in,"

"Do you know what she is?"

"I just met her today, Dean," You didn't want to deal with this right now, Ellie had said she was going to try and help you escape Dean tonight and instead she got annoyed by his presence and began flirting with Cat.

"What is with you and hanging out with all of those d-...", he trailed off,

"Those what, Dean?" You were beyond angry at this point, you didn't like what he was implying.

"You know, all those le-"

"Hey," your altercation was interrupted, "Everything cool?" Ellie was looking between you both, eyebrows furrowed as she looked you over, gauging the situation. She knew you could fight your own battles, but when a drunk man is getting too handsy on someone it's always good practice to remain vigilant.

"We're fine." He said, his words less slurred now, a bit more pissed off. Egged on by the fact that his very point had just interrupted him.

"Oh yeah?" She pressed, making sure to look at you when she asked, having watched the interaction since he dragged you away.

"Yeah, I'm okay," you added, trying to give her a grateful look with your eyes, whether she got the message or not wasn't confirmed. Ellie wasn't one to let things go, but then she asked you if you wanted to be left alone with him and when you simply said 'Yeah I can deal with this," there was nothing more she could do without being too out of line. 

Sighing to herself, she dragged her feet back to the group, silently warring with herself over her actions, wondering if she put her nose in someone else's business or whether she didn't act enough. She had decided that was enough for the night, she'd try and focus on something else.

Whilst you were frustrated; you didn't want to explain the situation to her yet, at this point.

"Dean I don't like what you're trying to say, I don't want to be near you right now, we can talk about this at home."

"Sure, whatever." He walked off. You exhaled a sigh that had been festering in your chest for a while.

Wandering back to Dina, Jesse and Abby, noticing a considerable lack of Ellie and Cat. But at least you could clear your mind, Dina offered you another drink- which you gladly took.

You were in conversations with your friends, a good amount of minutes had passed and you finally caught sight of Ellie. You felt your heart twitch, your stomach churning at the sight.

Ellie was engaged in some heated make-out with that Cat, her hands tightly wrapped around the back of the girl's neck. The lights of the room bounced off her skin, illuminating them in deep reds and blues, as their lips moved against each other. It was hot, you couldn't lie. Perhaps the alcohol had hit you a lot more than you thought. You had seen Ellie in action, but not in action.

You felt yourself start to stare, lost in the sight of Ellie until you felt your breathing start to quicken and your legs fidgeting. You had to pull your eyes away, shaming yourself in your head for even looking that long, like a damned pervert.

Taking another sip of your drink, your thoughts trailed, you wondered what it would feel like to be in Cat's position, to feel Ellie's passionate grasp and soft lips against yours. You wondered if her kisses would feel loving and warm, not cold like you were used to.

You quickly dismissed your thoughts, blaming it on the alcohol, wondering what was spurring this on, all of a sudden.

You soon decided it was probably time to head home, the party had lived its course and you were in a worse mood than when you first got there. Mission failed, indeed.

Saying your goodbyes to Dina, Jesse and Abby you made your way through the dance floor to Ellie.

"Hey, I'm gonna head out," You interrupted a conversation occurring between Ellie and Cat.

"Oh, you sure?" She glanced between you and Cat, "Will you be okay getting home?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm gonna find Dean and we're gonna go,"

"Oh," her face soured, "You're really still going home with that guy?"

"Well..." you stilled, you didn't exactly want to, but you knew he wouldn't give up until he got to say his piece, regardless of where you were, "We have stuff to talk about, I guess." Your voice and tone sound beaten, tired.

"I see," She glanced you over, hesitant, as if she was about to say something but then changed her mind. You could almost see thoughts flying in her eyes. 

"See you later," Cat smiled at you, though it didn't quite reach the corners of her eyes, no crease of skin. Everything seemed polite on the surface, but there were weird undertones in her voice, indifference. The vibe of that was definitely weird, right?

"Yeah,"

With that, you found Dean and left to go home.

—

Panting, you were panting. Heavy breaths mixed with sloppy touches in the darkness of red and blue lights.

You pulled away, glancing at Ellie, the corners of her plump lips curling into a smirk as she caressed your thighs. Fingers teasing near your entrance, you were completely ready for her touch, dripping, waiting.

"I can't wait to taste you, baby." she spoke, her words soft but with a hint of a growl that excited you, eager for what was about to come.

Then your eyes split open, and you were lay on your bed, hours had passed and you had been fast asleep. Sleep came easy, induced by the alcohol you had consumed, as you realised you had just been dreaming.

It took you a few seconds to stir and become conscious of what you had been dreaming about. Then the shame hit. What the fuck was that?

It didn't last long though, before you heard Dean's voice,

"That was hot,"

You slightly jumped at the surprise of his voice, not expecting him to have been awake and especially aware that you were having a dream of such nature, about your best friend of all people.

"You got me all hard, babe." You suddenly felt too overwhelmed, flashes of Ellie's lips and fingers cursed your mind as Dean's voice was mixed into your thoughts.

Confusion and panic hit your senses, you didn't want to look at Dean's expecting face when your mind was still reeling with the faint remnants of being under Ellie's warm and comforting touch, even in the astral plane, your body still warm and wanting. But not for him. Disgust overwhelmed your veins, poisoning the air in your lungs as you realised you couldn't think of anything worse than him touching you. It was as if that dream had been a message, a sign that this wasn't what you wanted. Or deserved. A sudden unexpected epiphany.

You quickly shot up and ran to the bathroom, no words spoken between you as you closed the door. Ensuring space between you both.

You sighed and grabbed at the roots of your hair, thinking of how utterly fucked this is.

You thought back to Ellie, would she be disgusted at your thoughts? Would she feel weird and uncomfortable if she knew you had been thinking of her that way? Her best, and very platonic, friend. She definitely isn't interested, you thought, remembering the way she had grabbed Cat closer to her and embraced her in a kiss that could only enflame your very being. Jealous. You realised, that's what that feeling was. It seemed to occur a lot regarding Ellie, that feeling.

Dean's voice blared through the door, reverberating through the walls.

"It's about that blond bitch isn't it?" Your eyebrows pulled together, fucks sake.

"Dean, please." It was stupid o'clock in the morning, the last thing you wanted was yet another argument.

"I knew those fucking lesbians would fuck with your head, you've always been a stupid woman, following whoever gives you attention."

His words hurt, and doubly pissed you off. How dare he? Those were your friends he was talking about.

You opened the door, Dean all blotchy and red in the face, fuelled by the past months of his bullshit and borderline abuse, this was the final nail. He was not about to say disgusting things and expect no repercussions. Lifting your hand, you put your entire back into connecting your palm with his cheek, made real by the smacking sound of skin, loud as a gunshot in the dark hours of the night contrasting the silence of no other surrounding sound in the dorms.

"Fuck you, Dean. I'm over this, get out." You stared him right in the eye as he rubbed the throbbing skin of his cheek to alleviate some pain. You couldn't help but feel a hint of relief that it had actually hurt him, as horrid as that sounds. You weren't a violent person, by any means, yet the continuous accusations, the newly exposed homophobia, his vile behaviour - it had to be done. You were done letting him treat you like that.

"I don't need you anyway, can find ten other girls that'd give me what I want."

"Go do that, then." You huffed, wondering why you hadn't done this earlier.

"Already have, sweetheart." He smirked, eyes glinting as he finally lifted the shroud of lies he had been filling your head with. You always knew deep down, you just chose to ignore it. Worms in the brain feasting at any rational thought and your self-respect. You didn't find it in yourself to get angrier.

"Get out of my house, Dean." You finalised, arms crossed over your chest, you just hoped he'd go willingly.

"You're not worth it, anyway." He cements, body turning to put on his shoes, chuckling as his heavy presence finally leaves your door.

You let out a breath, relief, shame and anger seeping into the deepest part of your being.

You were glad he's gone, truly. You just wish you had killed it sooner. Ellie was right, he ain't shit.

You sat on the edge of your bed, suddenly finding that the dark, empty space in your room was doing you no favours.

Pulling out your phone, you drafted a text to Ellie,

3.47 a.m:  you awake?

It was a long shot, you almost gave up on a response for tonight until you felt your phone buzz.

3.49 a.m:  ..always

3.49 a.m:  whats up?

Your lips tilted into a weak smile, before responding,

3.50 a.m:  u should be sleeping rn!

3.50 a.m:  umm so should u

3.51 a.m:  whats wrong?

Sighing, you had to bite the bullet, already started it now.

3.52 a.m:  he's an asshole, i broke up with him

A few minutes passed, and you wondered what was taking so long even though in the grand scheme of time it was only a few seconds, really. It was just anticipation, time felt dragged out awaiting her response. You didn't know that Ellie was laying on her bed feverishly typing, deleting and re-typing, overthinking how to respond. She wanted to say, 'I knew this' and how she was happy he was gone because he was a loser who didn't deserve you anyway. How she never liked him. Ellie didn't want to be insensitive, though, lest she hurt your feelings further. 

3.57 a.m: how are you feeling?

3.58 a.m:  im just glad he's gone tbh

3.58 a.m: had to be done

Ellie couldn't help the hint of a smile that fought its way onto her features, she typed her response. Picking at the dry skin around her thumb with her teeth as she sent her next message, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

3.59 a.m: he didn't deserve you anyway, you're too good for that.

You felt a warmth rush through you, stomach tightening as you read into her words. You wished that she meant it, that her feelings matched yours. Your mind thinks back to Cat, instantly murdering any hope in your heart.

You don't remember when your feelings for Ellie began to change, but looking back on it, you had felt so unsatisfied, seldom comfortable with your past lovers. Ellie was the only person who knew you, truly. Who had loved you and made you feel so safe, her comforting presence always soothing you, you felt like a person around Ellie. Whole. It had just taken some time for life to knock some sense into you to realise. It has always been Ellie. 

4.01 a.m: want me to come to you or you wanna come here?

4.01 a.m: it's so late you don't have to! i'll be ok promise

4.02 a.m: hah good one.. gimme ten mins

Ellie was not messing, not much time passed before she was knocking on the front door of your dorm. 

"Hey," Her voice was soft, gentle, her eyes shining with such a tender glint. She's always had such pretty eyes, you thought. 

"Hi,"

You moved a few steps to give her space to enter,

"How you doing?" She wrapped her arms around you, holding you tighter than you expected,

"Honestly, I'm okay," Ellie took a look at you, gauging your overall mood and believed it, you already looked lighter, less weight (*Dean) holding down your shoulders. 

"Think I mentally checked out a long time ago," you added, sitting down on your bed and lifting your laptop screen to load a show, acting somewhat as a buffer amongst the silence.

"So what happened?"

You couldn't help the audible groan that escaped your lips, "He got pissy when he saw me leaving the bathroom with Abby and accused me of cheating,"

"Abby?" Ellie had taken off her coat and shoes, joining you on your spot on the bed.

"Yeah, she was smoking in the bathroom hiding from their coach, we walked down to the group together, it was only small talk. I was so confused, he started saying things about who I was hanging out with,".

"Meaning?"

"He's a fucking homophobic prick,"

"He said hanging out with 'all those lesbians was fucking with my head', said I follow whoever gives me attention," you sighed, "then I slapped him."

Ellie couldn’t help it, she felt a swell of pride that you slapped him, stood up for yourself. He deserved so much worse, she thought.

Ellie couldn't hide the smirk that reached her lips, as much as she tried to suppress it, it still came.

"That's my girl,"

You didn't expect your stomach to twist when those words left her mouth, opening something up deep inside.

"He finally admitted to cheating, and then it was over," You sighed.

"I'm proud of you," Ellie muttered, fidgeting with her nail-beds, failing to meet your eyes.

"You don't have to say that, I know how pathetic this is,"

Resting your head on the headboard, you brought your legs into a cross,

"Hey, I mean it, it must've been a lot," She paused, her hand coming to rest on your knee, rubbing her thumb over the skin absentmindedly, like it was second nature to her. Perhaps, it was.

You looked over at her, eyes trailing down her features, freckles and the green eyes that still weren't meeting yours, suddenly shy.

"You're amazing, you deserve to know that," she paused, eyes finally meeting your own, determined.

"So are you," Your voice lowered, trailing back to the pretty brunette from earlier.

“So what’s going on with you and that girl?” You shouldn’t have said anything, but it was out before you could stop it. Clearly, your brain kept thinking about it.

“It’s..” Ellie thought about what to say, it would sound extremely horrible to say Cat was mainly a distraction, unfair as she is a lovely person, but it’s true.

“Nothing more than what you saw,”

Vague, was that best response to that, Ellie thought.

“I saw quite a bit,”

“Honestly, she’s great, we get along and all but..’ She’s not you. “I don’t think it’ll go any further.”

“She seemed to really like you, why not?”

Ellie almost wanted to laugh, it was so painfully obvious to her, how could you not see it?

“I guess.. I want something different.”

Her eyes connected with yours, the contact between your eyes felt different now, charged. You caught yourself stealing a glance at her lips, which slightly parted as she spotted where your eyes had fallen.

“Like what?”

She had no response, it was either avoid the question, or firm it. Ellie didn’t know which was the right answer.

"Ellie.." You paused, words caught in your throat, as scenarios rushed through your head like a rolodex of different possible outcomes. Heart tugging at your brain to do something, anything.

"Yeah?" Her head leaned closer to yours, your breathing slowly becoming heavier, the room's environment growing thicker, harder to inhale. Her hand still on your knee, unmoving now, frozen in place.

You could almost make contact with her lips, if you moved just a tiny inch closer. Her hand trailed slightly further up your leg, just a little above your knee, almost as if to test the waters. You wondered if she felt like you did, if she could also feel her veins light up and her body inflamed. Were her lips just as eager to touch yours? Were her hands longing to feel you just as well?

Before you realised, it was out.

"Ellie, can I kiss you?"

A beat, and no response. You felt your heart start to panic, already thinking over how to pretend that had never happened. You almost regretted it, until her hand reached for the back of your neck, reducing the distance between your faces.

Lips meeting yours, shyly at first, hesitant. Ellie’s mind was whirling, feeling her heartbeat pump aggressively throughout her body, there was no way this was reality, she thought. No way that you were here in front of her, asking to kiss her, after all this time of her yearning, feeling like a useless lesbian who would never ever make a move on you.

She could almost feel herself kicking her feet in the air, as she decided to firm it. Scared if she waited any longer, the opportunity would cease to exist, pass her by and join one of those regrets she’d think about as an elder.

Your lips met hers back, eager to push for contact, eager to push closer. Your zeal spurring hers on, as her hands clasped the back of your neck, keeping you in place. Not like you wanted to be anywhere else.

This was it. This is what you should’ve been feeling in the past.

Ellie’s soft, plump lips melted over yours, taunting with a bite and pulling your bottom lip out before entering her tongue into your mouth.

Fuck. That was hot.

You felt yourself getting hotter, damper by the minute as the kiss continues, Ellie’s hand getting more comfortable and trailing down to your thighs.

You pulled apart for a second, taking the time to catch your breath as you looked into her eyes, usually green but now much darker, enhanced by enlarged pupils as she glazed her sights over you. An unreadable expression on her face,

“Are you okay?”

“You’re so hot, and amazing and I-I really want to keep going, I just- I don’t know, I don’t want this to be like a .. rebound thing. I really care about you but I just, don’t want to feel like that, you know?” She rambled on, her thoughts getting ahead of themselves as she was pondering if it happened, then if it was too late to return to what you had been, before things got all naked and messy.

You understood, of course you did. You had literally broken up with him just maybe two hours ago. But it didn’t matter, you had to say it. Let her know and reassure her that it was only her.

“Ellie.. you could never be a rebound to me,” You stammered a little before the next part, “You’re the one I’ve wanted this whole time. It’s always been you.” You pecked her lips, grabbing her face, looking into her eyes hoping she’d see the seriousness in yours.

“I’ve wanted you for a really long time,” she broke contact, “I just didn’t wanna fuck shit up,”

“I mean it, Ellie, I’ve never felt as certain about something as I do this,”

Her stature relaxed, you continued, “I love you, Ellie. I didn’t love anyone else,”

“I love you,” she answered, the corner of her lip tilting up, eyes brighter.

“I’ll just have to show you how much, if that’s okay with you.”

Her gaze turned curious, before nodding, watching as your hands danced down her sides and ever so slightly underneath the fabric of her shirt.

“You can do whatever you want with me, honestly,” she murmured. You caught her body tensing, almost shaky as you lifted her shirt. Warm hands covering the sides of her defined stomach, you squeezed a little, just enough to rile her up.

Which it did, Ellie’s eyebrows furrowed as she anticipated your next move. Losing control of her lungs, she was about to explode.

“This okay?” Your hand met the band of her sports bra, digging scarcely into her skin beneath it.

“Yeah,” she exhaled, stuck in place, watching, her cheeks becoming flushed, “Shit,”

You hands pressed over her breasts, tightening pressure around as she let out a content sigh. You dipped your head down to wrap your lips around her nipple, licking laps over the tip and softly blowing air over them when you decided you were done, chuckling to yourself at the goosebumps that now raised on her skin,

“Don’t tease,” She murmured, composure dwindling.

“Sorry, can’t help myself,”

You kissed down her stomach to her pelvis, feeling her restlessness grow as her body refused to stay still, itching for you to do more.

You leaned back up, placing either leg over her torso and looked her over, making sure she was okay as your hand moved lower down, seemingly in a mind of its own as it crept past the waistband, meeting her skin as you held eye contact.

Ellie folded, shutting her eyes as the waiting became too much, you tapped her leg with your free hand,

“Eyes on me,”

When she held your eye contact once again, you teased a finger past her folds, almost letting out a groan at how wet she was, at how easily you could feel her arousal.

“Fuck Els,” you sighed, struggling to contain yourself as your thoughts grew more indecent, slipping a finger in further as Ellie writhed underneath you, head hanging back.

“More fingers, please,” Her voice was strained, breathy as she closed her eyes, embarrassed to be feeling this undone already.

“Yeah?” The side of your mouth curled up, goaded by the sound of her voice. She nodded impishly, covering her eyes with her wrist, as her other hand reached to grip around your hip. A tight squeeze followed on your skin.

“I can do that, baby,” Following instructions, you slipped two more fingers into her, falling into a rhythm as you felt her clench around you. She glanced over your body, legs spread over her midsection as you leaned your arm back, hips gently grinding over hers- an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure building up.

Her hand grabbed at the hem of your shirt, pulling it slightly and groaning when the tight material pushed against your breasts, she always loved how you never wore bras, stiff nipples poking through the fabric.

“Fuck, clothes off, now,” she let out in soft grunts, as she broke your wrist from her to take off your shirt, rubbing her hands over your newly exposed skin “Always fucking wanted to see you like this,” She spoke, your fingers meeting her centre again, “So fucking pretty,”

“You feel so good, Ellie,” You gasped, your hips involuntarily grinding on top of her stomach, “So fucking good ‘n wet for me,”

“Fuck-“ Ellie’s voice cut off as she bit into the back of her hand, her own hips rolling your hand in deeper, hitting her walls more than before as she let out a mewl. “Feels so fuckin’ good, angel,” she whimpered, voice strained as she continued to ride into your hand.

It was the hottest noise you’d ever heard, and you wanted to keep drawing it out of her. To keep hearing her moan for you, and your actions only.

Suddenly, you had something you prove, both to her and to yourself. Flashes of Cat in your mind as you wanted her to forget other women existed.

You unwrapped yourself off her lap, removing your fingers, kissing her stomach as you pulled her pants and underwear down, grabbing her legs and holding them open, exposing her even further.

“Damn,” you said, glancing over her wet inner thighs as they glistened, all for you.

“Shut up,” she spoke, voice tight as a side smile swept over her features, as she grabbed the back of your head, pushing you closer to her pulsing core, throbbing and dripping waiting for you to make contact.

You licked a line up her heat, moaning to yourself at the taste of her. You grew light-headed, thinking you could die happily just between Ellie’s legs, becoming addicted to her moans as you ate her out, head in a daze as she squeezed her thighs tight around your head, almost cutting off your air supply- her moans growing more frequent, as she reached closer. Your free hand moving up to wrap itself around her breast, squeezing tighter around her nipple.

Deciding to have a little more fun, you slipped two fingers into her wetness as you continued to lap your tongue around her clit, pushing up into her as you sucked. Dragging her delicious sap on your tongue as it marred all over your face, cheeks glassy with her warm sleek.

Ellie had lost control over her vocal cords at this point, moans slipping out from between her sweet lips no matter how hard she tried to suppress them. Hell, you were moaning too, despite not even being touched yet, dripping all over yourself, ass up and needy as you rolled your hips over thin air as you continued to soak yourself into Ellie.

There could be no coming back from this, you thought, not now that you had been exposed to the delicacy that is Ellie Williams. You were holding on to her and not letting go.

You felt Ellie’s moans get shorter, cutting themselves off from its full power before the next one came, her hips moving more haphazardly up to meet your tongue, she was close.

You glanced at her, her eyes closed, brows pinched up and mouth agape, a slight sheen to her skin from sweat, she’s so attractive, you thought.

With your free hand, your fingers guided themselves onto your own folds, rolling over your own clit for some release, the lack of hand on her caused Ellie’s eyes to lull over at you, the sight of your arched back, wet cheeks from her slick, spread legs as you touched yourself all whilst still fucking her into oblivion.

The damned sight of you, just as undone as Ellie, without her even touching you, was enough to cause the coil in her abdomen to twist, before she came all over your face, breath slowing into heavy pants as her body twitched. You lapped her up her residue, finally removing your face from between her legs as she looked at you. Wordless.

“Wh-what the fuck..” Ellie’s weak voice trailed, before laughing and forcing a kiss on your lips, hands wrapped around your jaw as she tasted the remnants of herself on you.

There was no way you were about to give her the best orgasm of her life and expect her to not do anything back? Funny joke. Ellie was ravenous now.

She placed you underneath her, biting around your thighs before bending her head down, her tongue having been desperate for a taste since that first day she saw you. “I wanna fuck you so bad,” Your legs tightened around her as the air from her voice hit your centre, “Been dyin’ for a taste,” You looked at her, tip of your eyebrows raised up as you took in her words, how long had she wanted you back? Her words caused you to shudder, whimpering as she continued.

“Fuck,” You said, voice breaking as her tongue rippled over your pussy as your hips shook, slurping up the honey that had been left neglected. Long, slender fingers meeting your centre that had felt so, so desperate and needy for her to touch.

“G’na show what you’ve been missing,” She hummed, as her fingers picked up pace working harmoniously with her tongue as she fucked into you. Warm muscle rolling over your pulsing clit. Fingers rubbing over your velvet walls which sucked her further in, skin dragging out with her soaked fingers when they recoiled out, the image obscene. “What was waiting for you this whole time,”

“Els- shit, wanna feel you,”

“What you want, baby?” She gasped out, in between breaths as fingers toyed with your clit.

“Wanna feel you, y-your fucking pussy on mine-fuck,” you cut yourself off, embarrassed. The desire was simply too strong, you were dizzy just from the thought of it. Ellie seemed to share your enthusiasm, her heart skipping a beat, the thought kindling her veins with heat.

This was truly a gift from the heavens, she thought.

“Shit- yeah, okay.” Ellie exhaled out, as she got you into position, grabbing one of your smaller pillows to cushion underneath you as she placed her legs over yours, getting into place as she rubbed her clit over yours, hips lolling over your pelvis.

The sounds were debaucherous as they filled the room, hot and wet, as if the spirit of Dionysus, himself had possessed you. Invoking you with bacchanal, carnal desire as you could think of nothing else than the sublime vice that is Ellie Williams.

“Fuck, Els, I’m gonna come,”

Ellie groaned, rocking her hips over yours, her defined abs on show, breasts working with Earth’s gravity as they sprung up and down to match her movements, hair falling out of her half-bun, causing some strands to stick to her face, completely dishevelled. You looked at her, eyes attached to yours, lust ruling over them, then looked back down to where you were both intertwined. You trapped your bottom lip with your teeth at the sight before you.

Her sap mingling with yours, leaking out from her cunt as it folds over your own, Wrapping you with her warmth, pulsating around yours. Ellie’s body still trembling from before.

“Then come for me, baby,”

You were gone. With her words, you felt yourself spilling out against her, not being able to hold back the climax of your arousal spurting out from you, splashes reaching Ellie’s legs.

“Fuck, Ellie!” Your voice drawled out, as the wave ran through you,

“That’s it, angel, come all over me,” She smirked down at you, breath heavy as she watched your eyes glaze over, lips parted and chest heavy as you finally came down. A ardent glaze over her eyes.

“I didn’t know you could do that,” She gaped, eyes transfixed on your figure as her reeling mind came down from the high.

“Shit, neither did I,” you laughed, covering your mouth, suddenly shy. With your head still in the clouds, you weren’t feeling as overly self-aware.

“That was fucking hot, and I’m not done.”

—

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[obsessedwithceleste]

Lessons in Love

(Or why Enzo should be banned from advanced potion making)

Theodore Nott x Ravenclaw Reader

Summary: Ft. Enzo being bad at potions, the Ravenclaw common room door, and more than one accidental love confession.

word count: 3.3k

©️ obsessedwithceleste. all works posted here belong to me and should not be reposted or copied in any way or form.

A deep sigh escapes your lips as you walk purposefully through the empty halls of the castle. You loved Enzo. Really, you did. But how that bastard had managed to squeeze enough O.W.Ls out of his arse to get into advanced potion making was absolutely beyond you.

It’s not that you thought your childhood best friend was dumb per se. You simply thought his talents lay elsewhere. Like in herbology. Or anywhere really where adding a pinch too much powdered moonstone didn’t result in a glittery pink potion exploding all over the front of your robes. This never would have happened of course, if your usual, equally talented, potions partner, Theodore Nott, had actually bothered to show up, but god only knew where that boy had wandered off to.

Walking into classes earlier that day you had been giddy with excitement. While potions may not have been Enzo’s forte, it was most definitely yours and advanced potions was finally giving you the challenge you had been craving. Amortentia, your professor had said, is the strongest love potion in the world, thereby making it exceptionally difficult to brew. You already knew this of course as it had all been detailed in the days readings. Not only would it make someone obsessively in love, but it also had an addictive scent, changing to fit what one was most attracted to. Now that was all well and good until one was covered in it.

Originally, you figured that all would be fine. Enzo profusely apologized, quickly following up with a joke about how “at least you’ll smell nice for once.” But oh how right he’d been. It started with students accidentally bumping into you in the corridor as you went from class to class as they subconsciously leaned in to follow the alluring scent. A minor inconvenience you thought. (Although you did have to choose to ignore that third year almost getting impaled on a statue’s sword because he wasn’t paying attention after you passed.)

But then Cho and Marietta couldn’t stop leaning in to get a whiff of the scent all throughout the start of charms, causing Flitwick to continuously shoot concerned glances at the three of you. You eventually caved, moving quickly and silently to the back of the class room where Enzo was sat with the rest of the Slytherins. As soon as he saw you making your way over, he leaned over, whispering something in Daphne’s ear beside him. She gives you a quick look of knowing pity before moving into the empty seats usually claimed by Theodore and Matteo who were, unsurprisingly, still no where to be found.

“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry,” Enzo mumbles, at least having the decency to look embarrassed as you plop into the seat beside him.

“This is horrible! I did not need to know that Marietta’s amortentia smells like bloody Cormac McLaggen or whatever his name is,” you hiss in response.

Enzo lets out a quiet chuckle, sneaking a quick glance at your house mate.

“Hey,” he whispers after a moment, “What do you smell anyway? You must be going mad having that stuff all over you.”

You shoot a glare at your friend. You had a sinking feeling he already knew, considering he had been poking fun at you for weeks. You shudder remembering all those disgusting kissy faces Enzo had been making at you from across the library just last week. Bloody bastard was fishing for confirmation. Maybe if you ignore him, he’ll simply go away you think to yourself. Enzo however, takes your silence as an admission of guilt, a grin spreading across his face.

“I knew it. So tell me y/n, what does dear Theodore Nott smell like? Cigarette smoke? Hippogriff dung?” He snickers.

“He is my best friend, Lorenzo,” you whisper, giving the boy beside you another withering glare.

Enzo’s face falls at this.

“I’m your best friend.” He grumbles.

“I don’t know why. You’re mean to me,” you reply with exasperation.

He immediately perks up again at this, giving you a slight nudge.

“So I’m right? You do like Theo?” He asks excitedly.

“Enzo, I will avada you, and make it look like an accident,” you hiss in response.

“Come on, y/n, I’m your best friend, you have to tell me these things,” he pouts.

“Oh really? Like how you have to tell me about how you’re probably smelling Daphne’s shampoo right now? Or is it her lavender perfume?” You ask innocently, batting your lashes.

Enzo goes beet red at this, gesturing wildly at you to lower your voice.

“Hush woman! She’s right there!” He hisses.

You say nothing, only giving him a triumphant grin before turning back to Flitwick to try to salvage what few notes you’d been able to take down that lesson.

The final straw occurred during ancient runes when poor, unsuspecting Hermione sat down behind you and asked with a look of bewilderment if you had been showered with Draco’s cologne that morning. Her look of absolute horror only grew as you told her of your distressing situation. You thought she might faint when she realized that Draco had been within earshot and now had a shit eating grin on his face. With a sigh of defeat, you give Hermione an apologetic smile before deciding it was time to turn in the white flag of defeat.

You breathe a heavy sigh of relief as you finally come to a stop outside your common room door. You then frown, realizing you had in fact, made it to your common room door.

“What makes a raven like a writing desk?” The metallic voice of the Ravenclaw common room door asks, springing to life.

This putrid, skanky little-

“You wouldn’t want me to shove either of them up your ars-“

A low whistle catches your attention before you’re able to finish cursing out your common room’s door thoroughly.

“Whoa there feisty, let the eagle be,” Theo’s voice laughs as he steps into view.

The strong scent of roasted coffee beans and smoke that had been burning your nostrils all day hits you once again like a ton of bricks. Giving the eagle another withering glare, you turn your full attention to the looming threat approaching. You would sooner throw yourself off of the astronomy tower than let Theo know that your amortentia smelled like him. Someone had to keep the boy’s bloody ego in check.

“Full offense Theodore, I’ve had a horrendously awful day today, and I really don’t have time for whatever nonsense you’re about to start.” You say with a roll of your eyes as you cross your arms at the boy in front of you.

Theo laughs again, mirroring your movements as he leans against one of the pillars lining the halls.

“Poor principessa. Have a hard day in classes without me?” He asks with a smirk.

You scowl in response. It didn’t help that you had, in fact, missed the brunette’s comforting, albeit annoying, presence all day, but you weren’t about to admit that.

“Now that you mention it, I didn’t even realize you were missing. What snake hole did you slither off to today?” You ask, the lie sliding easily off your lips.

Theo cocks as eyebrow at that but leaves it be.

“Matteo wanted to ditch, had to baby sit. Make sure he didn’t get into too much trouble. You know how it goes,” Theo replied shrugging his shoulders. “And what’s a pretty little witch like yourself doing skiving off class?”

Theo takes another step forward.

“Don’t come closer!” You yelp before you can stop yourself. You had no interest knowing what Theo would smell if he got close enough. He frowns at you however.

“And why not?” He challenges, taking another step towards you. This boy really did not take well to being told what to do.

“I- I smell. Really bad. Had to leave class, I just- ya know, smelled, so bad” You splutter, mentally kicking yourself. Who says that in front of the guy they like? Why were you like this?

Theo’s thick brows shoot up at your declaration before he takes a final large step towards you and leans in, pressing his hand against your forehead before moving it down to feel your cheek.

“Y/n are you ill? Do you need to go see Madam Pomfrey? I can walk you there if you’d like.” He says, any bit of snark his voice previously held long gone.

“I’m fine Theodore, really.” you say, batting his hand away.

“Are you sure?” He asks, looking at you disbelievingly.

He leans in again and takes in a whiff of your scent and you immediately tense, freezing where you are. God damn it. His brows furrow.

“Y/n, you smell perfectly normal, maybe a bit stronger than usual, but definitely not bad.” He says, looking even more confused.

Before you’re able to fully process the words that just came out of Theo’s mouth, Enzo and Pansy come barreling down the hall towards the two of you in a fit of giggles.

“Y/n! y/n, you know I’m sorry, really I am, but if dousing you in amortentia is all it takes to get Draco and Granger to make complete fools of themselves in front of each other, I’d do it again!” Enzo exclaims between breathy laughs. “You haven’t seen ferret boy run past, by chance, by the way have you?

“Sorry, amor-what now?” Theo asks, blinking as he purses his lips.

You look between the three of your friends in alarm, praying no one mentioned anything after Theo had just announced that you smelled perfectly normal to him.

“Oh, you’re going to wish you were there! After you left, Draco was so pleased with himself. Looked like a kid on Christmas. Kept trying to flirt with Hermione until she finally sent a flock of doves to run him out of the classroom! Professor wasn’t too happy bout that one. Let us go early to find the blonde loon,” Enzo says, completely ignoring Theo’s question.

“I’m sorry, amor-WHAT?” Theo asks again, louder this time.

You feel yourself cringe.

“Amortentia.” Pansy snorts. “Do try and keep up Teddy.”

“This is what you get for always skiving off class with Matteo,” Enzo adds, nodding at the boy as if he were his disappointed mother.

“Mhmm. Enzo totally floozied over y/n’s potion this morning. Blew it up all over her and she’s been having people wander up to her to take a sniff all day.” Pansy tells him with a sniff.

Theo blinks again before slowly meeting your eyes as what he said only moments earlier begins to sink in. Pansy, ever the cunning witch, was lightening quick to catch on.

“Speaking of which, I am suddenly so interested in what exactly it is that you smell, dearest Teddy,” Pansy says as her eyes flicker between the two of you, a mischievous grin growing on her face.

Theo scowls at the nickname.

“Campfire.”

“Old parchment.” You say in unison.

Pansy smirks.

“Do you smell that Enzo?” She asks, making a show of sniffing the air around her. “I think I smell- a liar. Or two.”

Enzo only snickers as he eyes the both of you up. He knew exactly what you had been smelling all day and you begin to feel panic rise up in your chest. You send a menacing glare his way, daring him to open his mouth.

“Come on Pans, I don’t think Draco and Granger are the only ones who’ll be chatting up tonight,” he says finally.

Glaring at the pair’s disappearing backs, you once again turn slowly back to the problem at hand.

“Soo,” Theo starts at the same time you blurt out,

“This is entirely your fault.”

Theo’s mouth drops open, and he has the audacity to look offended.

“How do you figure mi amore?” He asks.

“You’re supposed to be my partner in potions, but you weren’t there today, so I had to work with,” you shudder, “Enzo.”

Rolling his eyes at your dramatics and giving you a small smile, Theo lets himself relax, leaning on the wall as he towers over you.

“Enzo isn’t so bad,” he says, slowly bringing a hand up to rest on your waist, gently moving you towards him. You pretend not to notice, taking a small, nervous step forward.

“He singed off Matteo’s eyebrows last year. The year before that, he didn’t realize there was a difference between fire flower and fired flour, and his potion melted through the floor. I heard a Puff call him Slytherin’s Seamus,” you retort. “Do you realize how bad you have to be at something to get made fun of by a Hufflepuff?” He snorts at that, cocking his head in agreement.

“Well I’m sorry alright? I’ll make it up to you.”

“You’ll have to. I have to go in again to remake the potion. Don’t want that bad mark on my grade.”

Theo only hums at this, as you’re finally standing nose to chest with him, forcing you to tilt your head up to still see his face.

“You really do smell nice,” he murmurs, pressing his nose lightly into your hair.

You make a face before nuzzling into his chest to hide the redness growing on your cheeks.

“I’m not talking about this in public. I simply refuse,” you say, trying to melt into him from pure embarrassment.

Theo looks down at you with a devilishly handsome grin before turning back to your long forgotten common room door.

“Hey, open up. She technically answered your little riddle earlier,” he tells the door.

The eagle grumbles something unintelligible as it starts to life again.

“I can always melt you down. I’m sure you’d make a great piss pot,” Theo threatens, going to pull out his wand.

The door swings open rather violently and you’re pretty sure you can hear a rather colorful string of curses come out of the eagle’s beak as you make your way inside. Having been there a thousand times before, Theo easily leads you to your shared, but thankfully empty, dorm room, closing the door behind you.

“You really don’t get along with that eagle, do you principessa?” He asks, throwing his shoes off and making himself comfortable on your bed like he usually did.

“Like you’re any better. You just threatened to turn it into a chamber pot,” you retort, falling easily back into your usual banter. This was fine. This was safe.

Theo only raises a brow at you.

“The blasted door is still mad at me for making a ur mum joke when it asked me if a chicken came before the egg in front of a bunch of second years.” You admit, letting your arms fall to your side.

Theo lets out a loud laugh at that shaking his head and extending his arm for you. You walk carefully towards the bed before hesitantly accepting his invitation. It’s not that cuddling with Theo was something unfamiliar to you, as much as you were hyper aware of the slightly awkward tension between the two of you that wasn’t usually there. You slide your shoes off as well before curling up next to him and laying your head on his chest. The two of you lay in silence and you slowly let your eyelids flutter shut, lost in the feeling of Theo’s chest rising and falling.

“You know. You still haven’t told me what your amortentia smells like,” Theo says, finally breaking the silence as he gently brings his hand up to run his fingers through your hair.

“Take a wild fucking guess,” you murmur, refusing to open your eyes and determined to get further lost in his warm touch.

He only hums in response, continuing to comb his fingers through the soft locks of hair.

“You know when Enzo asked me if I smelled you today, he thought you��d smell like hippogriff dung,” you say eventually.

“Fucking tosser. What did that git smell? Wild lavender?”

“And Daphne’s shampoo.”

You feel Theo snort as if he expected no less of your ever romantic best friend. Silence once again rolls over the both of you as you absentmindedly play with the edge of his shirt, rolling the soft fabric between your fingers nervously. The quiet begins to feel suffocating, so you open your mouth to speak, but Theo beats you to it.

“Champagne. And that perfume you always use. With the little white flowers. Lilies of the valley, right?” Theo says.

You open your eyes to look at him in confusion.

“That’s what you smell like.” He says, carefully running his hand down your spine, sending a shiver through you.

“I smell roasted coffee. And smoke. Not the fire-y kind though. The kind that sticks to your clothes cause you refuse to quit smoking.” You respond, looking into his eyes warily for his reaction.

Theo only smirks in response, a cocky grin spreading across his face.

“Aw mi amore, I’m what you’re most attracted to?” He asks, the teasing bait evident in his voice.

You feel heat rise to your cheeks as Theo gazed intently down at you in his arms.

“Shut up Theodore. You sure know how to ruin a moment,” you say, once again burying your face in a chest.

You feel his chest rumble with laughter before his hand snakes it way up to your chin, tilting your head up and capturing your lips with his. His lips are softer than you imagined as he moves them gently against yours. You let a soft gasp escape and Theo pulls you closer, gripping your waste tightly, and shifting you on top of him, deepening the kiss until you’re both left gasping for air.

“Was that more of what you had in mind amore?” He asks with an innocent smile, looking up at you with what you could only describe as his best baby seal eyes.

“I mean, you were definitely significantly more shirtless when I imagined it, but I can settle.” You joke.

Theo’s eyes darken however, and he lifts you as if you weigh nothing, flipping you over so that he now hovered above you, your back pinned against the bed beneath you. With one swift movement, Theo pulls his shirt up and over his head before lowering himself back down, his chest now pressed against yours.

“Better?”

You can’t help but laugh at the boy’s determination as your eyes shamelessly take in the lean muscle and tanned skin that was current above you.

“Theodore, as much as I enjoy this, you have to put your clothes on. Cho or Marietta could walk in at any time,” you tell him as you begin to make soft circles across his waist line with your thumbs, admiring the boy in front of you.

“Mm. You mouth is saying one thing, but these,” he says, placing his hands over yours, “are saying something else entirely.”

You roll your eyes, pulling your hands out from under his and handing him his discarded shirt.

“One kiss?” He asks, looking at the shirt as if it had mortally offended him.

“One kiss.”

He leans down, once again capturing your lips with his, but with more intensity this time. You feel one of his hands brush your waist as his thumb pushes up under your shirt, the rest of his hand following soon after, gripping tightly at the warm skin beneath. You let out a breathy moan when he flicks his tongue across your bottom lip, and he takes it as an invitation to let his tongue explore the rest of your mouth.

An awkward cough shakes you from the haze and you look up, over Theo’s shoulder to see Cho standing guiltily in the doorway.

“Sorry,” she says, looking literally anywhere but you and the shirtless boy above you. “Bad time?”

You cover your eyes in embarrassment, feeling heat once again rush to your cheeks.

“What did I tell you!” You groan, letting your head fall back onto your mound of pillows. Meanwhile Theo has a much too self satisfied grin across his face.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

“Also because I want [Nino] to be more narratively important but that is a rant for another day.” And will that day be someday soon? Wink wink nudge nudge :3c

I am happy to give Nino some love, but before we do, we need to talk about how badly canon has failed him. The reason we need to have that talk is that the love I'm going to give is far more headcanon-y than I usually go in these analysis posts. For most characters, I can give a strong canon-based argument for a core characterization. For Nino? Well, I am pulling this stuff from canon, but I wouldn't exactly label it a "strong" argument. There are even elements of my take on Nino that you could label "grasping at straws".

And I'm happy to own that! I delight in giving Nino all the love he deserves even if it doesn't perfectly match canon, but that means that my Nino is less me leaning into the best parts of canon and more me shifting through canon, grabbing a few shinny bits, and weaving them into something that you may not agree with because my vision for Nino is to elevate him to match Alya in terms of narrative importance because I want the team show season two promised me even if I have to make it myself!

And if you don't want that? Then that's fine! I'm not arguing that everyone should adopt this take. My version of Nino is about as close to an OC as I get when writing fanfic. So let's get into it and talk about why I had to do that. (Also note that I have nothing against OCs. It's just that, when it comes to my own writing, I try to reserve them for original fiction or for very minor roles that no canon character could fill. Totally a matter of personal preference and not some sort of judgement.)

The Many Ways that Canon has Done Nino Dirty

If we look at what is arguably the main group of friends - Alya, Marinette, Adrien, and Nino - then we can see a clear base concept for the first three. Alya is the plucky reporter. Marinette is the headstrong leader. Adrien is the sweet goofball. Nino is... Alya's boyfriend? Adrien's best friend? Chris' older brother?

This is the problem that I was referring to above. Alya, Adrien, and Marinette have clear roles that you could pick out by just watching Origins. Nino doesn't. He doesn't even speak in part one and part two gives him all of six lines. These lines establish him as a nice guy since they're all about him being kind to Adrien, but that's about it. Here's one of them as an example:

Miss Bustier: Agreste, Adrien? Nino: (quietly to Adrien) You say "present". Adrien: (jumps up with his hand raised) Uh, present!

This is a cute moment for sure, but when I look at it, I can't tell you who Nino is supposed to be other than a nice guy, which isn't much to go on. Nice guys can fit a lot of roles.

This isn't necessarily a flaw. Some characters have roles that are immediately obvious and some characters don't. This second class of character usually just has a more complex role that will be discovered and defined based on their actions as the story goes on. However, because Miraculous' writing is all over the place, Nino gets screwed. Instead of his actions defining his nebulous role, his actions make his role impossible to pin down! Here are a few examples:

Nino the Protector:

Season two was big on the idea that miraculous had to be suited to their holders. That's why Chloe kept getting the bee as we saw in Malediktator:

Marinette: I must choose someone who's not impressed by people in power. Who can help me trap Malediktator. Huh?! Of course! That's it. (reaches for the Miraculous of the Bee)

And why did Nino get the turtle in Anansi?

Marinette: I need a protective Miraculous. (gasps, and points at the Turtle Miraculous Master Fu is wearing) That's the one I need, Master! (Master Fu gasps) Uh, if it's okay with you. Master Fu: (smiles at Wayzz, who nods to him) Do you have someone in mind, Marinette?  Marinette: Actually, I think I found just the right person.

Okay, cool, we finally have a strong defining trait for Nino! He's a protector! Or, at least, he was here. Other episodes go directly against this role such as this nonsense from Illusion:

Nino: What's up is Ladybug and Cat Noir don't have us to help them anymore. Alya: (nervously) Um, um— uh— what do you mean, "us"? Nino: Well, us, you Rena Rouge, me Carapace! (Alya kicks his leg underneath the table) Ouch! What's the big deal? We can tell Marinette and Adrien we used to be superheroes.

This first issue with this episode is that we see Nino out his and Alya's secret identities without her permission even though the resistance did NOT require an identity reveal to be a thing. In other words, our supposed protector is taking a big risk for no reason. Then he goes and does this:

Nino: Hence my plan. We're gonna film an akumatization. Alya: And how are you, Comrade Ketchup, gonna be in the know when and where this akumatization takes place? Nino: Easy, Comrade Beurre Maître d'Hôtel. I'm gonna make it happen.

Which leads to the four friends antagonizing Gabriel even though Nino knows how complex Adrien and Gabriel's relationship is. A move that makes no sense for a supposed protector because Gabriel was far from their only option. Nino could have picked anyone, but he went with the riskiest candidate possible, exposing his best friend to a potentially massive backlash.

Nino also doesn't even try to contact Ladybug and Chat Noir prior to this insane plan, thereby putting the whole city at unnecessary risk! What kind of protector purposely causes an akuma without also coming up with mitigation strategies to minimize the resulting damage?

Everything Nino does in this episode should disqualify him from ever holding the turtle again or, at the very least, he should have to redeem himself before holding the turtle again. This is especially true since he never apologizes for anything he did in Illusion and this is just one example of the issue. It's actually kind of hard to find moments where Nino acts as a protector even though he holds the miraculous of Protection. So is he supposed to be a protector? Who knows!

Nino, The Empath:

That first example was long, so we'll pick two quicker ones to flesh this out. The first one is how Nino and Adrien's relationship is defined. In Origins and the New York Special Nino is written as a kind and sensitive guy who is acting as Adrien's guide to dating and other elements of the real world:

Nino: Yup. I love Adrien, but he's like a baby chick that's just started cracking out of his egg. He has a hard time understanding the signals people send him. Alya: What signals? Marinette isn't exactly sending them clearly. I mean, look! What is she doing with her arms? Telling him what to do in case of an emergency landing or something? Nino:(sighs) If only this trip could help Adrien finally come out of his shell.

But then you have episodes like Animan where Adrien is Nino's guide to dating:

Nino: Shhh! You know I'm no good with the ladies, especially this one all of a sudden. I mean, dude, do I go up to her and crack her a joke? Shoot her a compliment? Invite her to the zoo? Play it serious? Adrien: Nino, you're way over-thinking this. "Invite her to the zoo", you serious? Nino: Well, they have this really cool new exhibit there. Adrien: Listen, just be yourself, man.

And episodes like Illusion (discussed above) and Psycomedian (see below) where Adrien is deeply uncomfortable and Nino doesn't notice:

Nino: See, dude? I told you! Hilarious, right? Adrien: Uh... (laughs nervously) Right! Really funny, Nino. Nino: I gotta show you his other sketches. It's insane that you don't know Harry Clown! (laughs)

Which might work if these episodes were about Nino learning a lesson, but they're not. Nino learns nothing, so is he generally in tune with others or is he kind of oblivious to other peoples' feelings? And why did Nino ever think that Adrien was a good source of romantic advice if he also thinks that Adrien is "a baby chick"? Pick a lane people!

Nino's Hobbies

Our final source of confusion is trying to define what Nino even enjoys doing. Horrificator and Queen Banana have him playing around as an amature film maker, but we also see him acting as an amature DJ with the wiki even claiming that he's the head of the school's radio station. So which of these things is his passion? Movies or music?

To be clear, I think it's fine to have multiple passions, but this is a story. You want to keep your characters' non-story-relevant hobbies kind of simple, especially when the character in question is a relatively minor side character who rarely gets much screen time. It's why Alix is only really into roller skating and why Nathaniel is only really into art. You don't want them to be more complex than that.

Even the main characters get this "keep it simple" treatment with Marinette only really being into fashion and Alya only really being into her blog. The girls don't need two demanding passions that would eat up all of their free time, but that's what Nino gets! Film and music are both incredibly demanding passions and it's hard to balance a character who is into both who is also an active superhero. That's a lot for one dude to do well!

I've actually seen fics that cast Nino as wanting to be a director and fics that make him want to be a professional DJ because canon really isn't clear about this pretty basic aspect of his character, but you do need to pick a lane when writing anything that gives Nino a career and so people seem to pick a passion at random.

My Version of Nino

By now, we're hopefully in agreement that canon has made a mess of Nino's character to the point where it's near impossible to say "this is who Nino is supposed to be." However, if you want to write Nino, then you do kind of have to pick a characterization to go with, so here's what I've come up with. Feel free to embrace it or reject it, but know that you will pry my version of Nino out of my cold dead hands because I utterly adore him.

Since Nino is Carapace, I base everything about him around the concept of "protect and defend" because he needs to feel like he deserves his heroic alter ego. I do not want to make canon's mistake of giving him a miraculous that massively contradicts his writing. Especially when that writing makes him feel interchangeable with other characters. At this point, no one from canon screams "turtle miraculous" unless you want to give it to Adrien since he's Ladybug's defender.

I also designed Nino around Alya and Adrien as those will arguably be his most important relationships. He should feel like a perfect fit for boyfriend and best friend respectively. I also took Marinette into consideration because he's going to be part of her team/friend group, so he should work with her, too.

What all that means is that I basically said "okay, this is where Nino is supposed to fit in the story and this is the dumpster fire that canon gave us, how do I pull pieces from the fire and paste them together to make a character that fits who Nino should have been?"

To really get into my version of Nino, I'd almost have to give you a fic to read, but that's way too much for a Tumblr post, so let's keep this high-level and just look at some of my notes on Nino from my lore Bible:

Nino is a major audiophile. He loves listening to music and watching movies/TV shows to study how they play with sound. He wants to be an audio engineer when he's older, but he also has a general passion for all things music and film. He’ll listen to any genre and watch almost any movie or show. He loves to take charge of the music at events so that the music really fits the crowd (and so it sounds good). It isn’t unheard of for him to go see an unknown band or an odd indie film on his own. This will become a major bonding point for Nino and Adrien because of the influence of Adrien's mother. Nino has seen all of Emilie's films and loves them. It will also bond him and Alya as his knowledge of film making will allow him to help her learn the art of filming now that she's doing complex things like actions shots and editing together multiple recordings.

Nino is generally pretty laid back and likes to hear people out. His reaction to confrontation is to try to calm everyone down so that they can get to the heart of the issue. He wants everyone to get along, but he's also not going to let someone take the blame when they shouldn't. Nino protects the innocent.

Nino is incredibly protective of the people he loves. If someone he cares about is in danger, his peaceful nature goes straight out the window. He’s the kind of person who would happily take a bullet for his friends and family. This will lead to him following Alya around once the hero stuff starts because he wants to keep her safe. Never let Alya go out alone if Nino is around or even just aware that a fight is happening. Alya thinks "scoop" and Nino thinks "my Alya sense is tingling." He's NOT there to stop her from doing what she loves, he's just there to be her spotter who lets her focus on filming while he watches for danger, though that will initially be a struggle for him. Treat this as his audition/training for Carapace where he learns to balance protective instincts with getting the job done so that he's ready to perfectly take on his miraculous.

When Nino’s folks split up, his mother insisted that the kids should go to therapy to help process things. They had individual and family counseling. Nino was actually pretty cool with the divorce as he’d seen it coming, but his brother was really affected by it, so Nino spent his time working on ways to help Chris (and being told that he was a brother, not a parent, but he still wanted to help). He learned a lot from going through it and it’s why he’s so good at dealing with emotional issues. He’s also good at not taking those burdens on himself. He wants to help, but knows that it's your battle. Marinette often looks to Nino for guidance on emotional issues because she knows that she's terrible at navigating them. She has given him full permission to stop her when she's too focused on solutions over support. All of the friends will help Adrien figure out social situations, but Nino will be the main guide as he's the one with the strongest skills in that area. Plus Adrien makes Nino's protective big brother instincts go crazy.

Nino’s a bit of a loner by choice. He has "weird" hobbies that easily lend themselves to being done alone and he doesn't have any interest in "forcing" his hobbies on someone who doesn't actually enjoy them, so he spends a lot of time by himself and rarely invites others to share in his interests. He only does that when he thinks that they'll actually enjoy what he's sharing. He doesn’t mind this, but he’s also a very welcoming individual who doesn’t like to see people left out, so he’ll come out of his shell when he sees someone who needs a friend. This usually leads to him making friends who soon become closer with others, but still view him as a casual friend. He’s cool with that. He's just happy that they found their people. Adrien will be the first friend who really stays Nino’s due to an understanding of Nino’s “weird” hobbies. After all, Adrien’s the son of an actress. He’s used to weird indie films and discussions of cinematography. I'd even say that he revels in it and realizes that he has missed it desperately since his mom got too sick to do that kind of thing. Basically, Nino will fill a spot in Adrien's heart that Adrien didn't even know was empty. Adrien can listen to Nino talk about cinematography for hours and never get bored. Before Adrien, no one knew that Nino was this talkative!

If anyone wants more insights into this topic, feel free to send an ask, but I think we'll call this post done now because it's SUPER long.

[selfloverrrrrr]

Sensei's desire

Part 2

Warning: smut, heavy smut, noncon, unprotected sex, age gap, beating, kidnapping.....

( All characters are aged up/18+)

Minors Do Not Interact

Read the warnings carefully....if you don't like my stories block me not report

Next morning I woke up In Gojo's Room.He was still sleeping. I quickly get up sneak out from the house silently. I didn't tell anyone about anything...cz I don't want put dart in my reputation. but the strange thing is Gojo also acted like nothing happened. so I tried to forget the hole thing.

Few days passed. I was talking with Megumi. he was flirting with me and I kept laughing at his words. I didn't know he was Fallin inlove with mostly my body. It was time I had to go to gojo's class. I was getting nervous all the time in class. But acted like nothing happened that night. Megumi was sitting beside me and asked if I was okey...and I nooded at him. But I didn't noticed that megumi was constantly looking at my thighs(gumi LOVES thighs) Gojo saw how megumi was stealing glances at my thighs and was getting more jealous.

It was break time. I left class and gojo still ignored the thing... At the cafeteria I sat with my friends. and megumi was sitting infront of me...we all were talking and eating but Megumi was purposely dropping his chopstick and went under the table and looked at I panty and came back up. Ofcourse Gojo noticed that.

They came up with a idea of going to a bar that night and I listened cuz I had alot on my mind so I needed to breath...so I agreed with them. But I asked if we're the all going... because I don't want to go to a party again where Gojo's gonna be.

As the last bell rang..the school is finally over...Megumi asked me what I'm gonna wear and I said I'm still gonna see...he says ok..but in his mind he hopes I should wear something revealing...as I walk out of class I bumped into gojo and I quickly apologized and walks away fast. Cz I don't want to talk anything else. Megumi wonders why and runs after me ..asking me why I ran off like tht then I said tht we just wanna go home to sort out some stuff.

He smiled and said..."can I get a hug..pretty?"he asked i thought it's fine..so I gave him and megumi holds my butt and quickly removes and said sorry... I thought tht it was a accident and drooped it..after saying our byes..gumi smiles too himself and looking at his hands and wish he could hold it longer.

I just went out of the campus when a msg popped up in my phone. It was from Megumi.

HEY Y/N ... CAN YOU MEET ME IN OUR CLASSROOM PLEASE? I ALMOST FORGOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING

I replied okey.. and went to the classroom. Entering the classroom what I first saw was Megumi tied up with a chair. Before I can react I felt a hand on my waist and a mascular chest pressed on my back. I looked behind it was Gojo. I didn't even noticed when he locked the door. My eyes wide open with fear. I swallowed hard and then again looked at Megumi.

Suddenly Gojo's hand started going upwards. "Now Megumi.... you should not touch or try to get things which aren't yours" he said and squeezed my clothed breast. I cried out loudly. " Sensei! What are you doing!" Megumi said loudly in shock. He even tried to get off from the chair but couldn't... because he was tied up with it.

Gojo smirked and started unbuttoning my uniform. I knew that all those things gonna happen again. "S-stop... p-p-please" I whispered. "Oh you still gonna beg even after knowing from that night that if I start I'm not gonna stop?" Gojo said and I squeezed my eyes shut. 'that night? What's that night? Did sensei raped y/n before?' Megumi thought with wide eyes in shock.

Gojo already took off my shirt. Now rubbing his hand on my breast over my bra. Then he he went to unplug my bra. "Sensei please... I don't want this again... please let me go... look I didn't tell that night's incident to anyone... please let me go!" I begged him. But unplugged my bra. Megumi's eyes went to my breasts. Shame washed over me. I looked away. Megumi gulped hard controlling the the thing he felt inside him after seeing my breast.

Gojo smirked. He grabbed my hair and pulled it then kissed my neck. He put me down on the desk infront of Megumi. He grabbed my boob and started squeezing it and I whimpered. Then he crashed his mouth on my breast. I moaned out loudly. He started sucking on my breast roughly. The more I moan the more roughly he sucks and  squeeze on my breasts.

"s-sensei... you shouldn't do this to her... please stop" Megumi said. Gojo looked at him " now you gonna tell me what I can do and what I can't do... Huh?" Gojo said then again looked at me. Now I was crying. Tears falling down. His hands reached for my skirt. He took off my skirt then my pantie.

"oh fuck" this first moan didn't came from Gojo. It was Megumi's moaned after he saw my unclothed pussy. Again shame washing over me. But the white haired man was totally enjoying it.

Gojo slides his long two fingers inside me. I whimpered at the feeling. He smirked at me because of the wetness he found. His eyes shined devilishly. "O-oh fuck... s-sensei s-stop please..ahhh" I moaned out. "But your pussy is telling me not to stop, baby" he said and started thursting his finger in and out. I tried to close my legs together but he stopped with his hand. He crashed his mouth on my clit. Licking it, sucking on it madly. Like as if his life was depending on it.

Gojo was thrusting his fingers in a fast pace. The more I was moaning the more he was thrusting faster. Tears falling down from my eyes. I was close. I was clenching around his fingers. He knew I was close. He smirked at me and thrust his fingers faster. I couldn't control anymore and came on his fingers. He licked his fingers cleared.

"oh I almost forgot about that" gojo said and took out something from his pocket. I was trying to force myself to sit up and looked at his hand. What was that? A ball gag??!! Was he going to fuck me again? I thought. "No no no... I'm not gonna wear that... sensei please!" I said and tired to get off from the desk. But grabbed my hair and pulled my head towards him. I looked at Megumi. "M-megumi please help me.... I don't want this anymore" I sobbed. "Sensei please let her go! Why are you doing this to her!?" Megumi spoke. Gojo just smirked at Megumi.

Gojo put the Ball gag on my mouth and again pushed me on the the desk. My chest and pressed on desk. I heard the sound of unzipping from behind. I squeezed my eyes shut. I already knew what's gonna happen and I can't stop it. "Sensei don't... please don't... your torturing her!" Megumi said loudly hoping if he can stop Gojo. " Telling as if you aren't hard right now?" Gojo said smirking.

He pressed his dick again my clit and rubbed it. Then without any warning he slammed his whole length inside. I cried out loudly. He started thursting in and out roughly like he did that night. I was sobbing. It was too much pain. His dick was big and thick and he was being rough. That was causing so much pain. I looked at Megumi with pleading eyes. He was tied up with the chair...if he wasn't then maybe he could've help me... Megumi thought.

Gojo pulled me backwards. My back pressed against his chest, back of my head on his shoulder, one of his hand carrying my one leg and the other one press against my chest. While he was doing this position he didn't stop thursting. At this position he was going more deeper and was a fucking moaning mess.

There's a reason Gojo changed the position. That is he wanted Megumi to see his dick going in and out. "Oh...f-fuck" Megumi moaned. His hip bucked upwards from the chair. Gojo smirked. "You wanna fuck her Megumi?...bad for you... you can't" Gojo said. Megumi was trying to get off from the chair... this was torture for him too right? He needed release. Gojo thursted in and out roughly. I was moaning his name repeatedly. After a few minutes I came. My walls clenched around him tightly. " G-god... You're so tight... F-Fuck...." He moaned and with that he came inside me.

After some time he put on his pants back. I was fainted on the desk. He covered me with his jecket and took me in a bridal style. He went to Megumi, frees him from the chair and left the room smirking with me in his hand.

Give me your requests guys...

I love when you give me your requests 💗

A big thanks to my two friends @candy69gurl and @liciaforlife for helping me with this story 😭💗💖

[elvisabutler]

eros

summary: he was a frat boy. you were not a sorority girl. could i make it any more obvious. or how you fall for a frat boy and you two finally actually get it on but not necessarily in the way both of you intended. fandom: austin butler rating: m pairing: austin butler x female reader word count: 1716 warnings: talking shit on fraternities and sororities. mild insecurity. talk of disastrous dates. coming untouched. coming in pants. handjobs. implied p in v sex. a touch ( okay maybe a bit more than a touch ) of sub austin. impatient horny college people. author’s note: so as @blurredcolour can attest to i meant for this to be a touching little piece about how these two had sex for the first time and he sort of defied her expectations and all this nice romantic stuff. it's why i called this piece eros. yeah, then i started writing it and well, it's still romantic and sweet? but i also had the three people who saw bits before i posted forget how to breathe so oopsies. as always comments and reblogs and hearing your thoughts are my lifeblood so feel free to scream at me in dms or asks or in the comments. i'll eat it up and write like a woman possessed i swear. beyond that, if you want to be on my taglist fill out the form here. i might just make a tumblr post for it too but we'll see.

If anyone were to have told you half a year ago that you'd be head over heels with a boy who's in a fraternity, you'd have laughed. You'd have told them that they really should brush up on their comedy skills because there was no way you would do that. Not after every aggravation you had with them. Not after every class where one of them popped up with some stupid remark that had you wanting to deck them in the face and not after knowing that just because they had gotten into some exclusive club they got a leg up on other people. Maybe it's true that's how the world worked but it didn't mean you'd have to like it. Then you properly met Austin. You got to know this stupid premed who minors in theater of all things and cares so deeply for his friends and for other people that it threatens to choke you sometimes when you think about it.

He's not perfect and he makes stupid jokes that you swat him on the arm for and spreads himself just a little too thin but he's yours and heaven help you, you're his. It's too early to be thinking about forever, you think, but the idea doesn't terrify you as much as it should. The idea of being with him as he goes through med school and as you complete your own schooling and go into the workforce is almost comforting. The idea of seeing him with a child that's a small mix of the two of you doesn't immediately make you run for the hills. The idea of him in your life, in your bed and in your apartment feels like an inevitability that comforts you more than anything else.

Of course, all of this—you like to think— might depend on whether or not Austin feels the same way. It depends on whether or not maybe tonight you can convince him that you'd honestly like to have sex with him. The circumstances are right, your roommate won't be home tonight at all and the house is fine and in capable hands. The two of you even have a date where for once Austin plans on cleaning up for something other than a frat function or a school related function. There's no reason he shouldn't want to unless he doesn't actually want you that way.

In hindsight, you don't know why you were ever concerned as you find yourself up against your bedroom door, head tapping it lightly as Austin's hands move up your sides while his lips attack your neck.

"Austin-" you whine, as one of his hands moves to your chest, trying to free your breasts from your dress and instead just managing to squeeze them. "You— The dress, we gotta undo the dress."

Your words are clearer and said with more clarity that you thought was possible given Austin's wandering hands. Someone— one of the two of you has to keep a clear head— if only so that you can both enjoy this. So that Austin doesn't try and rip your dress or your panties or god forbid your bra to get at your body in his impatience.

Austin forces his face away from your neck and groans a little at how there's already a bruise forming from his lips, how your skin is just that little bit darker where his lips had sucked and where his teeth had nipped. You were his girlfriend and you loved him. You loved every single part of him— the part that had to work so hard in classes and at work, the part that missed his mom in the middle of the night and would call you tearing up, the part that cared about his people so deeply that he'd murder for him— they were all what made him the person you wanted to be with and that was a heady thing to know. It set a fire ablaze inside of him that threatened to overtake him and bring you with him. You were his girlfriend and here you were in a gorgeous dress still with him after what was hands down the most disastrous date he's ever had with another person. The reservation was at the wrong time, the restaurant ran out of half the food to make their dishes and there was not one but two couples breaking up next to you. Not to mention the way the uber had broken down mid trip and how the wine had spilled on his jacket ruining it until he could manage to get it dry cleaned.

Yet you were still here and in his arms and willing and wanting to have sex with him. No— you were willing to make love to him the same way he wanted to make love to you. He wants to take his time laying you out across your bed, watching your face as he enters you and watching how your face contorts when he plays with your clit while he's inside of you. He wants to see your face in ecstasy and hear your mewls of pleasure in his ear. Your nails would mark him up, drag lines down his back from how overwhelmed you are and he could see just what he does to you.

"I love you," he whispers with a reverence you weren't prepared to hear in contrast to his hands trailing fire across your skin. "I know we say it all the time but— I— I'm so thankful you gave me that shot, babe. So thankful you let me clean your car. You could have told me no—" His words are cut off with a low groan as he feels your hand undoing his belt and sticking your hand in his pants with a speed that startles him. "Babe I'm—"

"You're being—ah— very romantic, Aus. I love it— but I'm ruining my underwear and I want to see you come right now." The words that come out of your mouth have both you and Austin pausing for just a moment because while you can be startlingly blunt that particular combination of words is a bit much for even you.

"O-Okay," he manages to stutter out in response, the blues of his eyes completely overwhelmed by his pupil. "In my pants?"

Your chest heaves at the idea, at the implication that Austin would let you bring him off like this and come in his pants. It's a rush of power you aren't expecting and that you figure no one would expect. You bite at your lip, watching as Austin's eyes are glued to them before you finally answer. "Would you?"

It's Austin's turn to have his head tilt back, exposing the long length of his neck to you as you move to nip and kiss at it. You pray that he bruises there, that there's a hickey or two for everyone to see he's yours. Against your lips you feel the rumble of his voice, rough as a gravel road. "For you? Yeah. Do anything for you."

A smirk crosses your lips as you finally pull away from his neck, noting the red bit of his skin and giggling softly. Your hand twists and your thumb brushes against the tip of his cock as you just look at Austin, marveling at how he keeps ahold of you, keeps you pinned to the door even as his breathing shifts and as he bites his lips to keep quiet. "Austin," you croon, "wanna hear it. Want everyone to know I got the hottest frat boy in my apartment. That he's gonna come undone because I'm jerking him off. Want everyone to know you're all mine. That you're so—"

Austin's lips slam against yours, causing a messy kiss of clattering teeth and bitten lips in order to get you to stop talking. Even with the distraction your hand picks up the pace, moving in a way you're pretty sure Austin enjoys as he whines and whimpers into your kiss. You could die happy hearing these noises. You want to hear these noises every second you can if he'll let you. He pulls away, trying to put some distance between you two because he meant to come during sex on your bed and not like this. Not like a horny little teenager. You deserved more.

"Babe— gotta— I'm gonna—" He can't finish off the thoughts though and your hand keeps moving as you clench your thighs together the best you can.

"Austin, baby please. Do it for me?" You flutter your eyelashes and pout in what is one of— if not the dirtiest trick you could use before you feel his body curl just so and tense up just enough that you know he's gone before you feel the warmth of his come covering your hand. If you're honest with yourself you can feel your pussy clenching around nothing and you wonder if perhaps you're in the same boat without being touched in the same way.

It takes you and Austin a moment to catch your breath, staring at each other in a bit of shock before he finally says something, moving to make it so he isn't pinning you against the door. "That— I was supposed to have sex with you not—"

You cut him off with a nuzzle to his nose, watching as his face scrunches up just a little. "You still can. I still want you to. Might have gotten off last night to the idea. Was hoping you would tonight actually."

Austin swallows and watches how you shift in place, still wanting more friction. "Yeah? Want me to lay you out on the bed and make you come till you cry?" He licks his lips at the picture he's inadvertently painting and you can't help but mirror him.

"I'd like to see you try, Butler," you answer with a smile, teasing him with the old name you used to call him in anger. "It'll take a while."

"I've got all night," he shrugs before his eyes move and catch on the yoga mat by the door. "And you're pretty flexible. Lead the way to your fate, babe."

You get a call about a noise complaint from your landlord the next day.

taglist: @ab4eva, @blurredcolour, @butlersxbirdy, @precious-little-scoundrel, @eliseinmemphis, @prompted-wordsmith, @lookingforrainbows, @araxw, @thatbanditqueen, @ellie-24, @austinbutlersgirl67, @heartbrake-hotel, @ccab, @18lkpeters, @slutforsomegoodlettuce, @dkayfixates, @kendralavon7, @chasingwildflowers, @slowsweetlove, @kxnnxy, @meetmeatyourworst, @purejasmine

[ambrossart]

I’m so sorry to clog up your notifications, but for some reason, Tumblr is refusing to let me comment 🙄 Think of this as a continuation of my comment from a few minutes ago 🤦‍♀️

About the boxes: right?! I’ve donated/given away/thrown away way too many things for there to still be this much stuff.

By the way, you should be so proud of yourself for going through all this moving with agoraphobia. I’ve only moved once and it’s caused a major strain. Going from Rhode Island to Tennessee is not an easy feat. If it helps to write out what’s going on, please keep us updated! Again, I’m sending soooo much rest your way!

I'm writing this from Tennessee!

Oh my god, that was the most stressful move of my life. My husband accidentally went through a moving broker and we 100% got scammed. They severely underquoted us (a common tactic), so when the movers showed up, the cost was more than double what was quoted. We were backed into a corner. Our options were to pay the extra cost or throw away all of our furniture. Thankfully, my parents loaned us some money, so we got our furniture loaded onto the truck (minus our dining room table, which we had already sacrificed), but now we have no idea when we're getting our furniture delivered—or if we're getting our furniture delivered. I hate moving so much. I wanna cry, but I'm too exhausted.

But my new apartment is gorgeous. Apart from the leaky sink (which should be fixed today) and the lack of furniture, it's incredible. Everything is brand new. There's so much space. The community is up in the hills, so it's got this quiet, woodsy vibe. Once we're settled, I know I'm gonna be really happy here.

And yeah, my mental health has definitely taken a hit with all this moving. My agoraphobia is triggered by major changes in environment. Actually, even minor changes will trigger it. During the drive here, for example, I was having mini panic attacks at every rest stop because I was scared I was gonna get lost on my way to the restroom (I know that sounds silly, but 🤷‍♀️). I have to Google every new place I visit so that I can see pictures of the inside and outside. If I could download a map, I would.

But you wouldn't know I'm struggling if you saw me. I go through great effort to hide it.

My lowest point was in college. My freshman year was fine because I had a roommate and would go out with her, but my sophomore year I was by myself, and I didn't leave my dorm for months, except to go to class (and I barely ever went to class either, but luckily I had very understanding professors who made accommodations for me). I also developed a slight ED during this time. I was too scared to go get food, so I wouldn't eat, except for like a candy bar out of the vending machine or something. I was like a little gremlin. I would come out at night, raid the vending machine, and then scurry back into my room before anyone could see me. That’s really embarrassing to admit, but it’s true. And I was losing weight! I was losing so much weight, and I was happy because I had always struggled with my weight, so… win-win, right? I didn’t have to face the terrifying world and I was finally skinny. What could possibly go wrong?

Well, one night I fainted in the shower, fell hard, slammed my head on the bathroom floor, lost conciousness, came to, saw my RA hovering over me, and finally realized I had a major problem.

Yeah, I was a hot mess in my late teens/early twenties.

I’m still a hot mess, but I’m doing a lot better. 😂

[olderthannetfic]

Gonna be real here for a second. I fucking HATE token people. That sounds bad, don't it? Got your attention now. Now listen to what I mean. I hate it when you have a person who wants to share their culture, or their thoughts as a person from a minority group, and/or marginalised group, about things that interest them, and is relevant to their experiences. That can be race, ethnicity, sexuality, gender-id, whatever. Some of these people will then somehow become the default token "Knows it all" person to not only their audience, but even people “outside” their audience, even if they don't “know it all”. Like let's say you have a person get popular because they talk about their origin countries culture. They talk about the stuff they know, and their passions within that culture, all fine and dandy. Then suddenly? People expect them to know every fucking little detail of everything, even if it's not even from their corner of the country/culture, their sexuality/experiences as a person with a specific sexuality or gender-Id, and their connected interests. Or it isn’t even something they’re experienced in at all, it’s just that because they’re the “token” person who became known and popular for sharing parts of their culture, and experiences, but now they’re expected to suddenly be the always-go-to default for anything that might marginally be linked to their internet persona. I remember being into some topics a few years ago, and specifically on places like youtube, I found a lot of different youtubers talking about it, from the same culture and country, many of them were specifically into the topic they talked about, either by interest, specific-culture or even via their work. Under those videos I still constantly saw mentions of the “Token” person, with the commenters saying “I want (token) to do a video on this.” Despite the 1st hand resource person being right there, and the “token” person never having mentioned any interest in the topic, or even any knowledge of it. It's all well and good loving this one specific person above others, but it just starts getting really weird when people treat this popular person as less of someone just wanting to share their interests, and more as a human Wikipedia, who should do everything to educate their fans because their “fans” are too lazy to do research or even just try to find other resources and creators who actually are into the topic they wanna know about. I remember as a teen I had a similar role in language class, as the only person who spoke the language, because it was my 1st language we were learning, and everyone always expected me to help them, and teach them, when I myself didn’t know even half of what we were learning in terms of culture, history, and what have you. Can't imagine the exhaustion if this was on a scale of thousands online, constantly sending messages, dm's and comments. And it’s fine if this token person loves being the Wikipedia for people, or doesn’t mind it, I’m also trying to look at it from the perspective of an observer who also started to feel fatigued about constantly seeing one person be linked for everything about that really broad topics. This has also spread, and now even people try to explain my own experiences to me, because “this one person who has this one specific trait (we share) they like to talk about said it, so now everyone else’s opinion is worth less and shouldn’t be cared about, even if you’re an affected person/even if another person talking about it is actually much more knowledgeable about the topic.”

--

[copyquat]

Having lightcannon feelings so may i present you with:

Random SG Lightcannon Headcanons From Someone Who Has Never Read Official SG Material (aka, me ranting about how these two exist rent free in my head)

-they go to a private school. this is only really important because i really like the idea of jinx calculating exactly how much effort she needs to put in to stay in the same school as lux while doing as little as possible

-jinx is still the smartest person in class though and it kinda bugs lux that she puts so much effort in to her schooling while jinx puts the absolute minimum knowing she could easily have as good if not better grades

-on to more actual relationship stuff lux is a lot less uptight with jinx than you’d expect at least before becoming saviors of the planet. jinx is the only person she knows and trusts she doesn’t have to be the perfect child around and having spent so long around jinx she’s developed a bit of a gremlin side

-she has absolutely asked jinx for help sneaking out to watch a movie or go to a concert and has on a lot more than one occasion been a willing accomplice in jinx’s mayhem

-she has also occasionally been the one to instigate the chaos i.e. she sometimes goes up to jinx like “these assholes deserve it how do we get back at them?”

-auntie jinx is so proud

-their relationship starts to deteriorate a bit when they become star guardians, jinx only joined because lux did and they’re joined at the hip (they promised to stay together “till the end of the world” when they were kids) but lux feels the need to be responsible because of they whole protecting the world thing

-jinx has for the longest time only ever cared about staying with lux but lux having daily training and getting on her case for not taking being a star guardian super seriously is starting to bug her

-lux on the other hand is stressed trying to be the perfect child and the perfect leader and started bottling her feelings up, at times lashing out at jinx cause she’s unfortunately an easy target (she always regrets it immediately if not soon after doing so) and is also maybe having a bit of gay panic when jinx disappears for the first time and she realizes she might like her best friend a bit more than she “should”

-this is not at all made better when ezreal becomes a star guardian and classic jinx jealousy starts to boil up

-on ez i like the idea that while he is interested in lux he eventually realizes “omg these bitches gay” and starts to wingman for them :P

-lux doesn’t realize jinx definitely has feelings for her as well until she has an argument with poppy about how jinx doesn’t care about saving the world. lux insists she does but poppy goes off “no she doesn’t! she cares about you! she joined because YOU did, she keeps coming back cause YOUR STILL HERE, and every time she looks at you she’s got these big stupid lovesick puppy eyes! im sick off watching you two dance around each other just fucking kiss already!”

-lux is flabbergasted at the idea jinx might (definitely) feels the same way but also feels guilty about being the reason jinx put herself in such a dangerous role to begin with

-jinx on the other hand naturally has self worth issues and doesn’t feel she’s good enough for lux and is absolutely terrified of lux not wanting to be her friend anymore

-sometimes after she runs away she has a meltdown terrified that this was the last straw and when she goes back lux will have had enough of her

-but lux can’t ever get enough of jinx though of course. they’re best friends after all and they promised they’d be together forever, till the end of the world…

-some other minor things when lux can get mimi into not a wand form she joins shiro and kuro’s mischief making and is unnaturally fine with whatever the balls of chaos do (i wonder who this is supposed to represent :P)

-i like the idea of vi having purple hair in the sg universe since most characters have different hair colors and i think itd be funny for sg vi and jinx to have swapped their canon hair color hues and also it still fits with her name

-i also like the idea of before vi eventually shows back up into jinx’s life cait is kinda a big sister for jinx

-she’s a local cop and once helped jinx with a panic attack when she was younger and now has a soft spot for her despite her many many trouble making misadventures

-when jinx was moving in with her team she had to carry all her stuff on foot cause she doesn’t have a car and cait saw her and offered to help

-jinx ended up being the first one fully moved in and absolutely rubbed it in poppy’s face :P

[streaminn]

Gift to you, and celebration of the new trailer for Spider-Man 2 PS5.

Red and blue lights briefly color the monochrome clothes of one Wednesday Addams, as she begrudgingly waits to give her statement to one of the pigs officers on the scene. Some villain of the week decided to take his revenge on one of the basketball coaches in the middle of their semifinals. One ass beating by a certain spider later and the gym stood with minor damages and a bruised idiot. Wednesday wasn’t even supposed to be there, she was trying to get a copy of Yoko’s notes for Enid. (“You know Wednesday, I could’ve just texted these to her. Is this really your best excuse to go see your sick gal pal?”)

Enid had been out of commission for a couple days. She claimed to have a cold, but Wednesday knew she was still recovering from her recent fight with Shocker. The villainess was able to land a good hit, but she still lost in the end when Enid short circuited her gloves…again. Wednesday had been taking notes in her stead, and in this occasion, getting notes for classes she didn’t share with Enid. If this just so happened to also give her a reason to visit Enid, she’d never admit to it.

She watches as Spider-Beast gives Yoko two thumbs up before walking over. “Hel- Hi Ms. Addams,” the Spider says, her voice dropping an octave as she speaks.

“You know my first name, I’ve told you before,” Wednesday replies.

“Right, sorry Wednesday.”

“It’s quite alright.” The Addams looks at her costumed companion, making note that Enid has altered her costume during her recovery (Eventually she’ll learn it’s now shock(er) proof). She notices that the beast seems more jittery than usual. “Something on your mind Spider?”

“What? No, just ya know, totally pumped that I took that guy down.” Wednesday looks into the eyes of the mask, picturing Enid’s beautiful blues behind it, currently on a face with a forced smile.

“Nothing at all?” Wednesday doesn’t want to push, she can always try again when Enid’s out of costume, but it doesn’t hurt to try. She sees the hero relax her shoulders before letting out a short sigh.

“It’s just…I’ve been away on a…business trip, a spider business trip if you will, which meant I was away from…a coworker, a spider coworker.”

“You have coworkers?”

“Spider-coworkers, yes.” Wednesday motioned for her to continue, though she pocketed this coworker nonsense for later use when she herself is suited up, anything to fluster Enid. “Anyways, I’m away from this coworker, hoping they’re okay while I’m gone, and then like a second later they’re in danger at school. Not this school, a different school, coworker was at a school on the other side of town.”

“Of course.” Wednesday really needs to teach her to lie better. “I’m sure they’re fine now, probably waiting to go home as we speak.”

“I know, they’re really tough, but still, I worry. I just always want them to be okay.” Before Wednesday can respond, she’s called over to give her statement. “Looks like I’ll let you go.” As Wednesday gathers her stuff, she turns to the Spider.

“This “coworker” of yours.”

“Spider-Coworker.”

“…Spider-Coworker, maybe you should visit them later. I’m sure they’d appreciate seeing you back from your…Spider-Business trip.”

“Oh, I’d love to, but I don’t want to bother them by dropping in unannounced.”

“Shame, because after the day I just had, I believe I would personally appreciate it.”

“…what?”

“In fact, after I give my statement, I’m going to visit my best friend and give her a hug, I’ve been trying to show more affection after all. Plus, I have notes for her classes that she’s missed.”

“Oh wow, haha, that is super cool of you. You should really get on that. I’m gonna go do spider things, keeping the city safe and whatnot. Have a good afternoon Wednesday!”

Wednesday watches as the Spider-Beast shoots two finger guns at her before she thwips away into the skyline. She lets a smirk form on her lips. “See you in a few, Enid.” She can’t wait to see her smile without the mask in the way.

WEDNESDAY IS SO OBVIOUS 😭 and omygod not Enid being clingy yet trying not too and stumbling over her words, I love that

The things Wenclair do to me man.. The signs is so obviously there yet does Enid pick up on it?

No, she's too busy picking up Wednesday, literally

Bet Enid came rushing into Wednesday room and scooped her into a hug after this. Her voice frenzied as she asked how willa's doing because she heard the news

Wednesday will a hundred percent melt into the hold and humm, totally mentioning how it's better since beast stepped in

Enid beams in return and Wednesday knows that she puffed her chest a tad in pride

Cute

[moinsbienquekaworu]

2024 edition of Analysing Ram's fanfic collection! 2022 and 2023 editions are there. A few days late but we're still going strong!

Same disclaimer as before, all the ships I've been into are in there under the readmore and some of them are weird, if you thinks some stuff is freaky (derogatory) you probably don't want to look (especially this year!!). Which is fine, see you another time :)

For those who don't mind freaky stuff, come have fun with me once again as I marry my passion for fandom and simple statistics.

(hopefully this is readable? I had to dezoom a little because I have So Much Fic)

... So this is kind of insane for me.

I got into Daredevil a little after last year's edition, and after a full year and about three intense phases of Being Really Into Daredevil (the TV show, I should say right now. I've been meaning to get into the comics but we're not there yet), you can see that I uh. I liked it! Almost 600 fics, jesus. That's more than any of my other fandoms, and by so far it's not even funny. Clearly it shows when I download every fic I read. To be clear most of that folder is Mattfoggy, self-explanatory and uncontroversial I think.

I also got into Baldur's Gate 3, which is probably my folder with the most gen stuff in it, maybe even including my gen folders. That's because 1) I played the game and romanced someone (I'll give you a guess. I'll give you one fucking guess.) so it felt a little strange reading ship fic for a game when you've played an active role in the story? and 2) because for once there isn't just one ship I'm into. All of these fuckers have so much potential chemistry with everyone else it's kind of wild. You could take any of the main six/eight companions, put them together, and I'd see it! So, genfic, and a fair bit of Bloodpact because I'm extra-compelled by Astarion and Wyll having Issues together and kissing about it. Once again, normal. Note that I did also buy merch for this, because there was cool merch I could actually get! So I have nice stickers and a portkey on top of 200 fics.

Then we enter the Zone Of Shame, the elephant in the room: why does Ram, who spent years of her life deliberately ignoring anything MCU related in any way, shape or form, who actively tried not to know who any of these people were when people told her about it, and who fell asleep before a few of the movies during family movie night, have three folders and about 350 MCU fics on her phone? Why indeed. Well, my best explanation is Daredevil snuck up on me and then I got overtaken by a fever. And now here I am. A changed woman. Scouring blogs from 2012 to get glimpses of what it was like back then.

The two main ships I've been really into are Stucky, because I watched Winter Soldier and I have eyes, though I did kind of hesitate with Stony because yeah I see it, and Thorki, because I watched Thor and I have eyes because I heard it was a thing, got curious, looked into it, and started Seeing It very fast. For about a week I'd watched Thor 1 and I thought, eh, I don't know why everyone was so into this, and then somehow something clicked in my brain I guess?? And then here I am, about three months later, coming out of AO3 searches bloodied and dizzy.

The rest of the changes are minor, I added a class folder for class stuff, a few fics here and there, kept going with Venom and doubled that folder, kept reading porn, planned to read (/actually read!) a few published books, etc. The last notable things are I found like 30 things to add to my misc folder, don't know where, and I somehow got rid of 4 Warrior Cats books? I'm guessing I had duplicates?

In conclusion, this year in fanfic, I read a lot of Mattfoggy, and got really into a beloved fandom classic (Stucky), the most obvious characters I could have gotten into (Astarion and Loki), and a truly "problematic ship" (Thorki). They grow up so fast... Absolutely crazy to me that when I log all the fics I read in a year (and I could have read more!) I end up almost doubling my fanfic folder. I was at 1.7k last year and I added like 1.4k, that was a huge shocker! So many good fics....

(BTW I knew the whoole time I would be insanely into Loki and Tony Stark, and I was Correct. Whatever that kind of character is they're like fucking catnip to me. Immediate blorbo. I need to read more Tony centric stuff but I've been trying not to be so so in love with that guy since I was like 13 so. Hard to break the habit. Astarion is also Like That and as soon as I saw his face I knew and I was once again Correct. I'm predictable.)

This was the 2024 edition of What's Ram Been Reading, it was a delight to have you this year again and it'll be a delight to have you in 2025! Bye bye :)

[jaidethalagorra]

Things They Don't Tell You: Survivor Camps

Surprisingly enough, this might be my last post about Things They Don't Tell You unless I actually start writing it, because this sums up a lot of the stuff I have so far. I'm gonna break down the fractured fates of all the survivor camps in Allie and Jessica's city, because there were a lot of them and I think that they're pretty cool despite the fact that they'll never show up.

There are a handful of camps across the city, most of them having been created after the fall of Haven. By 1 AF though, several camps have risen and fallen, so I'm gonna try to list them all.

Pretty much every camp has certain jobs, such as medics, guards, and scavengers whose goals are to keep the rest of the camp safe. Nevertheless, humans are human and not a single one of the originally established camps has made it to 1 AF. It’s also important to add that even though these camps have stated aims and beliefs, many citizens are just trying to survive and aren’t fully invested in a camp’s goals.

The first generation of camps were set up before or immediately after the Fall. There were only two, Haven and the Gates. Both have since fallen and led to the second generation of camps.

Haven: The most influential camp and largest camp by far, Haven was a government-operated and military-run survivor's camp created by the American government in preparation for the Fall and began operating when the Fall occurred. Haven was located in the centre of the city for easiest access and spanned several city blocks, including a construction site, a tower, and a small plaza, all walled off. Haven also featured its own generators, vehicles, and government, and was heavily armed for defense. Although considered one of the strongest camps, Haven eventually fell due to the fact that it had grown too large and couldn't keep track of all its citizens, leading to an outbreak and its eventual demise 7 months AF. Most of these survivors then broke away from Haven, creating their own camps throughout the city.

The Gates: The Gates was actually the first camp established in the city, established one month BF. The Gates was basically just an upper-class gated community that shut its gates and tried to live on its own. Surprisingly enough, the Gates lasted almost as long as Haven did. Unfortunately, that was due to the Gates removing any members of its community that it thought were an "unnecessary drain on resources", who were primarily poorer or more marginalized members of the community. Eventually however, the lack of resources in the Gates caught up to it at the same time that a minor outbreak occurred, leading to an internal conflict and the collapse of the Gates. When the Gates collapsed in, its survivors split between two communities. Approximately half of the survivors made their way towards Haven, eventually causing its fall, while the other half created a new community, the Pious. It should also be noted that the Gates was quite a small camp, as it was essentially only a neighborhood.

The second generation of camps were all formed after the fall of the first generation, primarily Haven. Although several second-generation camps have survived, some have fallen already.

The Pious: The Pious are one of the smallest camps, formed partially from Haven survivors and partially from survivors of the Gates. The Pious make their home in a megachurch, and have something of a limited view of the apocalypse. They are, in one word, intensely Christian, and believe that this is the end times and their god will come and save them. As such, they focus very little of their resources on actually surviving and most of them on constant prayer in the hopes that their god will save them when this gets really bad. As a result, most of the Pious are starving, both due to lack of food and due to fasting. Oddly enough, the religious leader and dictator of the Pious seems fine. That’s odd. However, the Pious haven’t fallen yet.

Rez: Rez was one of the more neutral and larger camps formed after Haven, led mainly by people trained by Haven soldiers. They tried to set up their camp on the remains of a university campus, which seemed like a good idea at the time. Unfortunately, this proved to be a mistake. The campus proved hard to wall off and protect, and several infected managed to make it into the camp and infect others. Lacking the grit that Haven soldiers had, Rez attempted to cure them and were promptly annihilated. Rez fell 8 months AF, one month after its founding. Most of the members of Rez died, but most survivors became Independents or joined the Saviours.

The Saviours: the Saviours were another split from Haven, but a relatively small one. The Saviours have made their camp in a science centre, for somewhat mysterious reasons. Their stated goal is research on the zombies and trying to find a cure, but how the intend to accomplish that from a science centre designed for children is slightly unclear. Aside from that, the Saviours are a smaller but comfortable and safe camp. All survivors are expected to help in research for a cure in some way, whether that’s scavenging for food or even to making sure surgical environments are stable. As of 1 AF, the Saviours have not fallen.

The Protectorate: The Protectorate are another camp from Haven, consisting almost entirely of people related to politics before the Fall and Haven soldiers. A small but incredibly well-armed camp, their goal is to full eliminate all zombies from the city and re-establish the times before the Fall. Their base of operations is currently City Hall, and although their aims are grandiose they're losing soldiers on more and more missions and their plans seem doomed to fail. As of 1 AF, the Protectorate has not fallen.

The Gardeners: The Gardeners are one of the two largest groups of Haven survivors, and their camp is set up in a city park. Their goal is to become as self-reliant as possible, tilling much of the grasses of the park into farmland. Although proportionally they send out less scavengers than most other camps, in terms of numbers they still have some of the most. Their scavenger numbers are fortunately reduced as food is less of a concern for the Gardeners, but they still require many outside supports such as gardening tools and seeds. As of 1 AF, the Gardeners have not fallen.

Fantaland: The survivors in Fantaland are the other largest camp of Haven survivors. Their camp is set up in the already walled-off Fantaland, a local amusement park that's been converted into a camp. Fantaland is what could be considered the most "normal" camp, and aside from the Independents they send out the most scavengers to survive. From common knowledge, Fantaland is a fairly ok place to live for the apocalypse. As of 1 AF, Fantaland has not fallen.

The Independents: The Independents aren't really a survivor camp, but this is also sort of about factions so I figured it should make an appearance. The Independents are pretty much exactly what they sound like: independent scavengers who find their own, smaller places to live and scavenge without outside help for survival. Some independents work together in smaller groups like a team, but the biggest difference is in population. Independent camps generally number up to 10 maximum, while even the smallest survivor camps that aren't independent have at least 100. The Independents, collectively, are a very small minority as it takes a significant amount of skill to survive without any outside help whatsoever and many Independents have died silently without anyone knowing. It's also uncommon for even scavengers from camps to meet Independents, as most of them have "territories" that they scavenge from across the entire city. Allie is one of the more mobile Independents, without a very defined territory, but she still avoids contact with other scavengers when she can.

And that's it! That's all the camps! I hope you enjoy them, I tried to make all of them seem unique in some way.

[pop-punklouis]

Hi babe 💗

(I'm answering both of yours in this one) it's fine! I figured you'd be resting up from the trip, I just wanted you to have a message anyways! I hope you managed to get in some nice relaxed time.

Oh yes. We form a good chunk of ourselves when we're young through observation. You grow up and you can see the ways in which you often mirror your parents, it's crazy.

I get that though. Somedays when I wanna read I get through like a few pages and I fall asleep. Or I'm just not in the mental space to read even though reading is my absolute fav thing to do. Maybe you'll find a better time to read if you wanted to, someday, y'know?

Ahhh okay this is a reminder to send pictures of your cats! One of them is a Persian-angora mix and the other is a lil tuxedo cat. They are lowkey enemies even though it's much better than it used to be but you're never gonna catch them becoming friends :((

Stop I love supernatural/paranormal stuff! It's endlessly fascinating to me and I honestly should be delving into it deeper but I often feel like I've too many things I wanna do and too little time. Those are all such cool interests! Umm I love love love psychology. Quite passionate about writing, I suppose. Spirituality. Ooh and space!!

Second ask: thank youuu I mostly just plan on pulling my fic together and maybe reading!

Ahh I've always wanted to play the guitar! Even had bought one but never got around to it rip. Cross stitching, that's pretty cool!! Used to cross stitch a tiny bit. And I kinda wish I had gotten like, art classes of some sort bc I do paint but I've zero training and I'd love some. If I could sketch?? I'd be untouchable. And learning any musical instrument really.

Today's question: what is a very fond memory of yours?

Have a wonderful day love xx

~🌱

HIIIII i just woke up. i pulled an all nighter last night to finish some orders for my shop so i didn’t go to sleep until 5 AM 💀

but! yes, fic used to be a big part of my fandom experience when i was younger so i miss it sometimes yk the nostalgia of it all. wishing you all the best with pulling your fic together 🤍🥺

both of my indoor cats are enemies so i completely get that dynamic lmao but my younger cat likes to bully my older cat more than anything else rip your cats sound so pretty though 💕 here are mine as promised!! (elvis, jagger, dorian, keanu) 🌼

i’m so glad we share that same love for the supernatural/paranormal. it’s just an endless pit of knowledge and intrigue. i can never get enough of it. oooo psychology is a good one. if i had taken one more psych course in undergrad i would’ve minored in psychology which is funny bc all i did was take those classes as electives bc i was interested in them. what’s your favorite interest in psychology? criminal psychology and abnormal psychology are two of mine 👁 and spiritually and space!!!!! yes i also love both of those as well. i used to be a huge space buff when i was younger ✨

playing an instrument takes so much dedication and motivation. two things i did not have growing up lmao i love that you bought a guitar but never played it. very big me energy djdkdkd i had to sell my keyboard bc of the same exact reason years ago. painting would be a dream to be talented in. any type of art actually, but yeah painting would be super cool. the power one holds with a paintbrush astonishes me sometimes ❤️‍🩹

hmmm i think one of my fondest memories is when i went to my first concert. 10 years old going to see hannah montana and the jonas brothers. it’s what turned me on to music and live music as a whole. never stopped breathing it since then 👐🏼 how about you? what’s one of your fondest memories? x

hope you have a great tuesday, love!! 🔮

[moonjxsung]

uni classes officially finished yesterday! awh man sorry to hear you've been so busy and tired :( im sure the break from the phone was needed WHAAA SO EXCITING SO HAPPY FOR YOU THAT YOU GOT TO EXPERIENCE THAT OMG tbh I'm not doing too hot... on top of the stress and burn out from uni... I got cyberharrassed by people from my univeristy yesterday on our year's server ... :( basically people were being jerks and playing "jokes" on random people (NOT funny jokes ... like I mean tagging random people and harassing them for homework (which doesn't exist) and accusing their targets of lying when they say they aren't enrolled in the class even when they gave evidence - the poor souls were so confused and concerned) and like just saying shitty stuff about how certain faculties are "useless" and for stupid people ... so I step in and tell them to stop it cause its not funny cause they're all like "its just a joke" ... so when i said that they were like "nah its hella funny" (by they, I mean like 3-4 people are ganging up on me at this point and I couldn't report this to the server mods cause one of them WAS A FREAKING MOD) and then they were like "we should ban you" and were like "I'll bet ur in the stupid people faculty" (which I'm not, but I was so enranged that they kept calling arts a useless stupid faculty so I didn't deny it) and so I excused myself and said "I see I am a minority here [in thinking these things they are doing/saying are unkind and unfunny] so I will leave now" and then they were like "noooooooooo we love minorities" ... "even the bad ones" ... "lmao jk" and then they said "no one likes you go kys" ... so I left the server because I absolutely don't need fucking assholes and worthless losers telling me that :) like. I dont even know theses people. So what they say shouldnt matter. but fuck it hurt so bad :( like these are people MY age who go to MY uni who are probably in my classes or smth like idk I just wasnt expecting such blantant unkindness... I guess that's naive of me ... idk it just really sucked ... like I'm basically fine now cause those kinds of people literally don't matter to me, but it sucks that people like that exist, yknow? like fuck, what if they had said that to someone else who really took it to heart and really did do what they said... like wtf how are there people LIKE THIS :( also, I hate confrontation, so I got like a panic attack after the whole incident and couldnt sleep until 3 am and then woke up at 8 to go to work....... for an 8 hour shift......... and i was so freaking mad at myself for letting it affect me so much cause I WASTED SO MUCH STUDY TIME LIKE UGH idk im just alkdjflkjadklfjdkjfk jakfj my only condolance at this point about the whole thing is the people the jerks targeted/the victims messaged me privately to thank me for stepping in. so at least my actions were not in vain. also im sorry about all the cursing... I RAREly curse... im just so ajsfdkjak over this :( Sorry for dumping all that, do not feel pressured at all to respond to all of that ILY STAR pls continue to take care of urself 🫶💕 🌱

Oh my god??????? This is literally insane?????? What the actual hell is WRONG with people…. And doing that shit in a school server???? What the hell??????

Good on you for standing up for yourself and the others who were getting harassed and for leaving when you did! College students can be so weird bc I feel like they often forget that acting out of turn publicly in a server or online or wherever can absolutely have DIRE consequences for your future and it’s just playing with fire at that point. I remember there was a very famous case of students at Harvard who had a discord server where they sent all sorts of racist/sexist/ableist etc. memes and they legit got KICKED OUT of college when it was brought to light. As a college student you should be acting as though you’re being carefully monitored by your school or even a potential employer at all times, it’s literally so risky to be acting out of turn like that where people can easily report you. And on that note, I hope someone reports them and the server at least gets taken down bc sending death threats like that is absolutely vile, and to your own classmates???? What the hell

I hope you’re feeling better now angel ☹️ I’m so sorry you had to work a long shift after all that, I would’ve been panicking too! But at least know that you did the right thing and if they get in trouble for it, you can’t be blamed for being complicit in their trashy behavior. Your future isn’t at risk like theirs is!

Take some time to relax and try not to think about their words, they’re likely saying that to everybody and it’s not worth dwelling over insults they’re throwing around to every person who breathes in their direction. They’re just a bunch of LEWSERSSSSS 🤢🤢🤢🤢 I love you bby feel better soon ☹️💖💘💞💕💝🫶 here for you if you need anything at all !!

[bitchineering]

College Essays

You know when target posts back to school ads than that means our summer has officially ended. Sadly, I live in a place where usually I start school on August 1st. This year I’m actually attending university and wanted to help the future seniors or students who need help writing essays for college admissions. 

To be honest I’m going to keep this on the shorter end because I feel like there are so many others who’re more qualified to tell you about this information. 

1. Read this It is by Sharon Murchie, a high school teacher who went above and beyond for her students. I’d say read all the stories she suggested. Analyze/look over all of them by thinking “how could you write a story from that perspective?”. Find one you’re most comfortable with to work with and start writing. I’d definitely say you’re going to mess up and going to have to do some rewrites which is perfectly fine! I did that myself. 

2. Watch the word limit. Get your story over in the least amount of words as possible. The overall purpose needs to describe a significant moment in your life and who you are as a person. Don’t mind the fluffly stuff as much (and this pertains to anything that doesn’t have to do with the topic to your essay). Your introduction should be at max three sentences. You need the words for answering your topic is a very memorizing way. 

3. This is your story. Write about the people closest to you or a star you’ve never met but it all has to come back down to you! Who you are as a person and who you want to be at this school. What will you provide this school and how will you take what you’ve learned at said university and put it out in the world? Know, there are many different essays, most popular, why do you want to attend this university? Who are you? Tell us a challenge you overcame? What’s a funny story about yourself? (This was one of my topics actually). 

Why do you want to attend this uni? Be specific, look up facts and opportunities to the school you want to go to. Co-ops, undergraduate research, libraries and the ability to double major are so many good reasons you can talk so much about. Think instead of why do you want to attend this school, think what fascinates you most about this institution? What makes you so excited that on day one you need to join (a club, organization, start prepping for co-ops, or signing up for classes, or minors etc). 

Who are you? This can be formatted in so many different ways but I feel like so many of the Common App essays fall under this category. Using the New York times post above should help with writing who you are with all of the hidden messages within the story. 

All the youtube videos I watched (tbh I don’t remember watching many videos about this because I had a really smart friend and she helped me learn and grow from my writing errors and I also want to note some of these are for transfers because I was looking into transferring)

The Transfer Essay Guide for Dartmouth, Columbia, NYU, Penn, Cornell, Harvard

Transfer From Community College to a Top University: How She Got Into Stanford

how i got into harvard 📚 *stats, extracurriculars, essays, & more* 

how i got into ucla 🐻 grades, extracurriculars, essays, etc

----

Editing this like almost a year after I think I wanted to post it??? But anyway, totally recommend these items. Not beta reading because I’m pretty sure essays are almost all due, or main essays are due soon. Good luck to everyone applying!!! You got this. 

[anyagee]

book asks! 3, 12, 17.

3. Top 5 10 Books

In no particular order other than I opened Goodreads and scrolled backwards

System Collapse - Martha Wells

All the President's Men - Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward

Siren Queen - Nghi Vo

The Salt Grows Heavy - Cassandra Khaw

The Archive Undying - Emma Mieko Candon

A Prayer for the Crown Shy - Becky Chambers

Some Desperate Glory - Emily Tesh

The Genesis of Misery - Neon Yang

Deathless Gods - PC Hodgell

A Desolation of Peace - Arkady Martine

12. Any books that disappointed you?

From Unseen Fire - Cass Morris

Another author I like had this on a list of historical fiction they liked. I was not impressed.

It felt like nothing had any consequences (oooh there's a secret magic potion that will let the enemy control one person! Will our secondary character have to fight off mind control? Will he have to try and save or kill his bestie when he accidentally gets mind controlled instead? No! The sister wove a magic scarf and it fixed everything instantly!) and it didn't really nail the “ancient times have different values/society but I also want you to like my Roman aristocrat family that owns slaves”

Like, I can be down for a book that goes “I put in magic and changed up the social structure a bit because I wanted a fun mystery in ancient psudo-Rome and didn't really want to get too into it”. There's a place for historical fiction that's “I want fancy dresses and no cell phones!” and a place for stuff that wants to really dig into the social and political consequences of being a person in a historical period. And this was…neither.

The Foxglove King - Hannah Whitten

Unfortunately, disappointing in a boring way. Standard mediocre fantasy romance that wasn't sexy or interesting enough for me. Read it because I got through it really quickly and I didn't have anything else in my bag to read that day. At least it went for the “it's fine if she wants to bang both romantic leads” option instead of a love triangle? Magic system wasn't as weird as it could have been for someone with a connection to the god of death who gets powers from poison. If you are setting up a love interest goes to the dark side and she gets to become the empress in the next book and there's fantasy Catholicism you got to get weird with it, come on man.

Big disclaimer on this next one: it's actually a good book, but the question was “what disappointed you”

Piranesi - Susanna Clark

It just… wasn't for me. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I'm still not quite sure what about it I didn't like. I guess I went from "hmmm let's see where this goes" to "eehh well I might as well finish it" at the SPOILERS? bit where we find out about the real world. I've read and liked portal fantasy before so it's not that, but this just didn't click with me.

17. Did any books surprise you with how good they were?

All the President's Men - Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward

Rachael got the Watergate board game and we realized we didn't actually know that much about the actual history (I know what you're thinking, didn't you accidentally do enough history classes to get a a minor in it, yes but that was 20thC Europe and 13 years ago), so we started with watching the All the President's Men movie and it fucking spiraled from there.

I'm really excited that I have the time and attention span and energy to read actual history books again but, look, I can't recommend an extremely dense book on LBJ and the election of 1968 to most of you.

All the President's Men is surprisingly really fucking funny and you should read it. (Come with me on the journey of “oh wow absolutely not historically relevant now no why would you say that 🙃” and “why does this read like fanfic omg 🤣”)

Red Widow - Alma Katsu

Look, when a spy novel is published in 2021 by someone who used to work for the CIA you go into that going “oh no what bad takes do I need to be prepared to throw this book at the wall for”. (I read/watch lots of varying quality spy/action/thrillers so yea. Check out Kill James Bond for a good podcast.)

Really fun, absolutely had a character get introduced and I immediately went “ah if he doesn't get shot in a parking lot in the second act he's the bad guy” (spoiler: he was the bad guy) Like, great job of knowing your tropes and keeping it fun and entertaining. I have the sequel out from the library to read at the moment.