#also gotta say it's nice when they have a specific description of their origins - especially the *original designer*!!!

[sydney-carton-of-sour-milk]

the candle snuffer

sydney carton

the charles dickens candle snuffer

from a 1983 12-piece series from the Dickens House Museum designed by Ronald Embleton

[ramzawrites]

can I request one where on doomsday dream techno Phil and y/n team up. like this team is super op cuz they’re all good at pvp.

RAMZA I WANNA SAY I LOVE YOUR WRITING YOU ARE VERY POG. STAY HYDRATED EAT WELL AND SLEEO WELL!!!

Reader Joins Team Doomsday

GN

Pairings: none

Characters included: Technoblade, Philza, Dream, Quackity, Ponk, Tubbo, (mentioned Tommy)

Warnings: fighting, mention of death (non descriptive), falling (non descriptive), cursing

Series: a request by a nice anon 💙

Summary: Dream and Technoblade just teamed up in front of almost whole L’Manberg which was a catrastrophic outcome in of itself but when Dream exteneded his invite for teaming up also to Y/N? The L’Manberg people knew they were absolutely screwed.

Words count: 3930

Authors Note: Thank you for the request!! 💙 Also thank you for the nice words!!! I hope you are doing well! Please make sure to stay hydrated and that you rest as well! Thank you pog anon!!

„Listen, we will blow up L’Manberg this time tomorrow!” Dream yelled out. His voice echoing through the ruin that used to be the Community House. All while he was surrounded by a handful of people decked out in armor brandishing their weapons.

Techno stood close by him. A sick grin on his face while he held his infamous rocket launcher between his hands. No surprise there that he would immediately jump on the idea of blowing up this government, especially after they went out of their way trying to kill him while he was in retirement.

A few people let out shocked gasps or surprised exclamations as Dream announced this. Knowing that Dream was a hundred percent serious with this, as well as Techno. Those two were a dangerous combination. A deadly even.

So when Dream moved his head upwards to look at Y/N who seemed to stoically stare at the happenings and calmly asked “Won’t you join us, Y/N?” Everyone’s worry spiked even more.

Y/N scoffed and slammed the end of the trident they were holding onto the small bit of solid ground they were standing on “You already know my answer, Dream.”

While Techno seemed to be a bit confused for a few seconds he appeared to make the connection. Those two have talked about this beforehand.

The others didn’t seem to understand though.

“Y/N? You are joining them?” Tubbo sounded downright hurt.

In that moment Quackity chimed in as well “You are betraying us?”

The grip on Y/N’s trident strengthened “You bet I will! You guys never treated me like one of yours! All I was good for was to get you better gear or play body guard! Hell, at some point you guys basically imprisoned me only to let me out to train you on how to fight Techno! One of my dear friends! How does this surprise you?”

People were already panicked and scared but this was the disaster scenario. There were only three people on this server known for being amazing fighters and all three of them just banded together to destroy their home and possibly kill them all.

Before anyone could retort Dream clapped loudly in his hands to pull everyone’s attention back on himself “We gave you the warning, that’s all. See you all tomorrow.”

With that Dream used an Ederpearl to flee. Y/N followed him suit, having all of this planned out beforehand. Though this also meant they awkwardly left Techno behind but he should be fine. After all he was the Technoblade and as everybody knew Technoblade never dies.

Once the two were far enough away Dream turned to Y/N “Thanks. I appreciate what you are doing. Wouldn’t want to fight against you.”

Y/N laughed “Neither do I. They already looked so scared with your team up with Techno but after you pulled me in they really looked like sheets of paper. It was… interesting to see. Either way I should be the one thanking you. You are giving me a chance for revenge.”

They continued to move towards a snowy tundra. Dream taking the lead since Y/N has been stuck in L’Manberg in the last few months. They wore netherite armor but it was unenchanted. Given to them by the butcher army after they told them of their plan to kill Dream.

The original plan was that Y/N would join them later and make sure that they will be alright. Playing a bodyguard for them once again. Normally they would have used the given armor and weapons as soon as they got it to flee but Dream has met them before this even happened. Hatching out a plan together so in the end this gear was an added bonus that gave extra protection while they fled with Dream.

“Why are we here?”

“Well we gotta prepare.” Dream answered as if that would answer Y/N’s question sufficiently.

While Y/N didn’t exactly truly trust Dream, mostly due to the fact they trusted no one, they didn’t feel the need to ask him to elaborate and instead continued to follow him dutiful. He had something planned and they had to follow him no matter what.

Where else could they go? Their only home was in L’Manberg even if it was more of a prison.

Dream was an enigma to them. Y/N had fought with the man a few times and it was always incredibly tiring every time which was something new for them.

Both Dream and Techno were physical strong, though Y/N suspected that Techno was a bit stronger simply because of his Piglin side.

Techno was a master at preparing and using everything to his disposal and if he didn’t have it he wasn’t scared to spend a ludicrous amount of time to gather these items. He was like a true juggernaut. People called him the Blood God for a reason after all.

Dream was more versatile. Of course he did plan things beforehand but he was better at acting during the situation. If the situation changed you can bet that he was already three moves ahead and noticed things around him he can use for his advantage. Now combine this with the knowledge he had about the world and he seemed almost unstoppable.

Just like Dream and Techno they too were physical strong which came naturally over the years but they relied more on their speed. Being a master at dodging blows and abusing peoples weak spots before they even realize they had any.

Now that they teamed up Y/N could understand how the people begun to fret. Alone the three were a force to be reckoned with but together it wasn’t hard to imagine that they could level a whole city or a nation in this specific case.

“Here, we arrived.” Dream almost whispered. His porcelain mask hiding his satisfied smile as he spotted Techno talking with Philza inside what looked like a nether wart farm. Probably telling him about what just happened and how Tommy betrayed him.

Philza waved towards the two new arrivals “Hello Dream and Y/N.”

Surprised Techno turned around.

“What? We have to plan this somehow even a little bit. This is a bit bigger than just winging it.” Dream explained.

Techno stepped out of the farm and dug his finger into Dream’s shoulder “I have a bone to pick with you two.” He made sure to throw his frown towards Y/N as well as he said that “You just left me! You left me alone surrounded by like thirty people!”

Dream slowly pushed Techno’s hand away from him “And yet here you stand alive and well.”

“No thanks to you!”

“Boy, am I glad to finally meet my old friend Technoblade after being imprisoned inside my own home.” Y/N interjected, already having heard enough of their bickering.

Philza sharply sucked in some air “Yeah, I know what that feels like.”

Techno sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose “Don’t get me even started on you. They started a government right in front of us, you helped me build the Wither’s that destroyed them and yet you still stayed.”

“Oh, Techno you know very well what happened! They managed to catch me when I made sure to keep them off your back as you fled! Besides it gave me time to find out more about their structure and what was happening! I couldn’t know we wouldn’t need it in the end since Dream himself appeared to join our cause in this instance!”

Dream was calm and collected before but now he seemed almost apalled that Y/N would throw such an accusation against him “What?! Now it’s my fault?!”

Phil made his way towards the arguing warriors and made sure to stand in between them, they wouldn’t fight, not yet at least, the fight wasn’t heated enough for that but he needed to get their attention off each other “Okay, I think that is enough. You only have so much time to plan Doomsday.”

“You are right Phil, of course. Well then I have to show both Dream and Y/N something.” Techno seemed to have calmed down and made his way towards his home. Dream followed him and Y/N was about to follow him as well but Philza stopped them by laying his hand on their shoulder.

“Are you okay? You basically have been locked up by the L’Manbergians longer than me”

Y/N smiled softly “Besides missing my old gear? I am alright. Really. But thanks for asking.”

This seemed to be answer enough since he let his hand fall back to his side and instead concentrated on Techno who came running out of his house again with a button in his hand. Dream closely following and confused. Y/N assumed he was confused by his body language but it was hard to tell with his mask.

“Please follow me.”

So the group did as he ran around the corner towards a mountain range. All the while complaining to Chat, the voices in his head, that they had wants for completely unrelated things.

He placed the button down and pressed it. With the loud sounds of pistons moving a flat stone wall begun retracting giving away to a room with wither skulls on the back of the room. Soul Sand structures decorating the room as well as  a few chests and what looked like the start of a netherite armor set.

“What!?” Dream exclaimed in his typical fashion running into the hidden place to get a better look at the Wither skulls.

While Y/N was certainly impressed by this something felt off about this. Technically those were a ton of Wither skulls since they are incredibly hard to get by but it didn’t feel enough for Techno but Y/N chose to hold their thoughts to themself.

“As you can see we have enough for a few Withers and combined with, you mentioned raining down TnT?”

“Yeah, Yeah I did. A machine that will literally rain down TnT on the nation.”

“Yeah, combined with that and our fighting power we shouldn’t have a problem destroying L’Manberg.”

Y/N stretched “Okay, we got the gist of the plan I guess but I want a proper one. How will this go down exactly?”

The next day Y/N woke up early. More out of habit than need. They put on their freshly enchanted netherite armor and grabbed their new weapons as well. A netherite sword, crossbow and trident. Techno was already up, probably way before them. He was meticulous when it comes to preparing for fights after all.

As Y/N climbed down the ladder to get to the main level of Techno’s house they found him looking through a chest.

“Morning Techno and thanks for the makeshift bed and letting me sleep over.”

“Seeing as you are currently homeless I didn’t really have a choice and besides it makes it easier to meet up. Even though mister green Teletubby thought otherwise.” He grumbled “By the way there are some baked potatoes inside the furnace. Feel free to grab some.”

Y/N nodded and moved towards the furnace grabbing their breakfast. Potatoes, how typical.

The next few hours was spent by Techno, Philza and Y/N brewing potions as well as warming up. They got into their armor and made sure all of their equipment was working.

Now imagine their surprise while all of them were deep in their preparations and Dream appeared a good hour or so too early.

“Dream? Already here?” Y/N asked him.

He laughed “What? Already sick of me? I’m joking but there is a small change in plans. Let’s get going. Now.”

In the last part the tone in his voice changed from happy to serious which gave Y/N a bit of whiplash with how fast he could apparently change his emotions.

Technoblade pivoted his head to the side “Why already? Did something happen?”

Thankfully Dream shook his head “No, but let’s catch them off guard. If we go now they will surely be surprised.”

“Huh. He has a point.” Philza noted.

So the small group, they begun calling themselves Team Doomsday, started making their way towards L’Manberg but not without first getting Techno’s Hound Army. It was a bit stressful to get through the Nether with them but in the end they managed to reach the Community Nether Portal which led them close to the nation.

“I’m getting ready for the TnT, you all three get into the city and begin doing your thing. Techno as soon as you give me the signal I will spawn Withers and start the machine.” Dream ranted off resulting in Y/N rolling their eyes.

“Dream we were there when we planned this all.”

“Right.” And with that he vanished.

Technoblade turned to Philza “And you stay out of danger. Just spawn some Withers and by Ender stay out of danger. Call for us if anyone gets too close to you.”

This was Philza’s time to roll his eyes “Mate, I know. I’ll be fine!”

He most likely would. Philza was some apparently immortal being after all that still somehow only had one life. It was confusing but Y/N didn’t want to ask since Philza himself seemed to be very secretive about his nature.

With that Philza made sure to stay far away from Techno and Y/N. Still watching them but from a safe distance, holding onto the bag with the extra Wither skulls from Techno.

Together Y/N and Techno ran into the city with the wolves. As soon as Techno spotted Tubbo he immediately ordered his hounds to attack but didn’t attack himself immediately. He needed Tubbo to call the others so this thing could really start. After all, all of them had to get what’s due for them.

And indeed it didn’t take long for Quackity and the others to appear.

“Shit, it’s both Y/N and Techno!”

“Where is Dream!”

“No, idea!”

“We are so fucked!”

The people were scrambling, trying to protect their home but every time they got too close to Techno or Y/N the hounds would throw themselves at them. It was almost ironic how when Sapnap appeared the fight really begun.

“Techno I’ll deal with the people! I think it’s time for our secret weapon!” Y/N yelled over the chaos as they kicked Quackity away.

Between the L’Manbergian party Sapnap and Punz were definitely the biggest problem but as it looked like Punz barely participated. Sapnap was a definite surprise so Y/N wanted to deal with him if they get the chance. Test their mettle against him and maybe find out what moved him to work against Dream so readily.

“Got you!” Techno answered, showing that he heard them.

He got out his rocket launcher and shot a few rounds into the air, giving Dream and Phil both the sign. When Techno himself also got out some soul sand the others understood what was happening and tried their best to reach the Pig Hybrid.

Unfortunately for them the hound army and Y/N stopped them dead in their track.

Y/N had no problem running from person to person to either deflect their attack or kick them away from Techno as he built his little contraption. Two Withers already begun flying towards the middle of the nation. This broke up the group and a few decided to dedicate their fighting prowess to ensure that the Withers wouldn’t cause too much damage.

To that suddenly red TnT blocks suddenly begun raining down from the sky. A manic laughing Dream standing on top of an obsidian structure.

While the people scrambled to not die to the Withers, the dogs or the explosions, Team Doomsday, minus Phil, saw their chance to properly get into the fights.

Y/N didn’t spend any time waiting and immediately jumped in front of Sapnap’s way brandishing their sword. A smirk on their face.

Sapnap looked determined but worry still managed to crack through his expression. He locked his eyes with theirs and moved in heaving his sword up in order to strike them.

But Y/N stayed calm. They took a step forward and practically flowed around him, dodging his attack as they slammed down the sword at his side. It made contact with his armor but as it slid down the metal it managed to hit an exposed part of his arm.

Hissing Sapnap tried hitting them with a sweeping move towards their direction. Y/N used their sword to redirect his weapons movement away from them.

“Your reaction time is good! Too bad I’m better.” Y/N mused as they went back in to attack him.

They attacked him again, giving him a false sense as he tried to block their incoming attack only for them to move around again and kick him in the back of his knee. His leg buckled and crashed down into the dirt. Without any mercy Y/N kicked him again in his leg using the extra strength they had due to the strength potions.

“Fuck!” Sapnap cried out and put his hand inside a brown bag on his side, getting out an Enderpearl and throwing it away. He soon followed and disappeared as well.

“Oh no! You get back here! I haven’t even had the chance to ask you what the hell you think you are doing!”

But Sapnap didn’t hear them. He was too busy dodging attacks from a Wither.

“Y/N!” It was Phil calling out to them. As Y/N looked to where his voice came from they noticed both Ponk and Quackity coming closer to him. They knew he probably could deal with them but still. He was on his last life after all. Extra caution was warranted.

Y/N angled their own Enderpearl towards the blonde brit. Originally planned to be used to follow Sapnap but Phil was more important right now.

The wind got knocked out of their lungs as they landed in front of Phil. The sound of metal hitting each other rung out. A sword hitting Y/N’s armored back.

For a second Phil looked surprised only to jump back to his serious expression as he managed to see Y/N’s smile. He immediately got out a splash potion and threw it at himself and Y/N. They immediately noticed their strength returning. A healing potion. He got another one which seemed to be a strength potion, prolonging the effect that was already on them.

Thankful for the small pit stop Y/N turned around while he was busy throwing the strength potions, looking Quackity right in his face.

Quackity looked pretty confident before but now he was white as snow. Ponk put his second hand on the hilt of the sword. His sword was the one that clattered down on Y/N only to get parried by their armor.

“You betrayed us! Y/N! Do you really wanna do this?” Quackity tried to appeal to them.

Y/N sneered “How does this surprise you still? How? How does this not get in your head? You imprisoned me and made me work against my will against one of my only friends? How does this not enter your thick skull?”

They moved their arm up and brought it down on Quackity. It didn’t surprise them that he managed to parry it with his own but Y/N doubled down pressing down on the blade with their own. Effectively locking him into this position.

Obviously Ponk saw his chance and tried attacking Y/N who was preoccupied with the Vice President but Philza was still there. He just had to extend his trident and managed to interlock Ponk’s blade between the forks of his weapons.

“Phil!” Weirdly enough he seemed to be surprised by that.

“You were about to attack me! Don’t sound so shocked!”

Y/N pushed even harder on Quackity, forcing him to take a step back, getting dangerously close to the edge of the crater that the TNT is still in the progress of making.

“You are just as bad as Techno. Just as bad as Dream.” He spat. Still trying to work against Y/N’s strength.

“From what I saw in my time in this L’Manberg I very much prefer that. At least they treat me like a human person and not just as a weapon to be used!”

With that Y/N musted up the rest of their strength and pushed even harder down. Forcing out a yell as they pushed him one last time. Quackity not having enough strength to hold out anymore had to take another step only to find that there was no ground anymore. He slipped and fell down into the crater.

Not wasting any time Y/N spun towards Ponk who was clashing his sword against Philza’s shield. He was a good enough fighter but it still looked pathetic. He was too desperate.

Y/N used the adrenaline of arguing with Quackity to run and throw their whole body into Ponk. Making him stumble and fall down onto the ground.

Pointing their sword at his throat “I’m sorry Ponk. I respect you for standing up to your ideals but here is the end of the road today for you. Maybe next time you will have a better chance.”

His eyes widened and a weak protest left his mouth but Y/N ignored it. Pushing their sword down, killing him. His body dissolving into golden dust. He was returning to his bed and respawning.

Phil looked at his worn out shield “You okay, Y/N?”

They laughed dryly “I should ask you that. I am fine. I am holding my own out here, how are you?”

“I’m luckily good as well. Thanks for helping me, Y/N.”

It was sad to think about how they never got a proper thanks from the L’Manberg people. It was expected that they helped them.

Y/N nodded “Always.”

They wanted to jump back into the fight but suddenly Dream stood next to them. Looking over the crater.

The opposing party was scattered. Now more dealing with injuries than the fights. Only one Wither left flying around. The crater reached bedrock and yet the explosions still rang.

“I think it’s time we go. This nation is done for.” He spoke.

Techno joined the party. He looked like he was doing alright. His armor obviously scratched up but he was doing alright.

“I say we seemed to be successful.” He noted.

Dream put his hand on Y/N’s shoulder “I saw you fight. Did you know that a few people did a wide berth around you? Avoiding you at all cost?”

Y/N raised one of their eyebrows as they stared at Dream’s masked face. His head directed straight ahead as he observed Tommy who helped Tubbo with one of his injuries he acquired when he protected him from one of Techno’s rockets.

A few seconds passed in silence but then he turned his head towards Y/N “They are scared of you. Proof of your strength. Do with that knowledge what you will but I thought I should tell you since it was interesting to watch from above.”

“Let’s get going. If we wait long enough for them to recuperate then we might still have a problem since we are getting low on potions as well.” Techno spoke in a calm voice.

Truly. For Tommy, Tubbo, for all of the people who tried to protect L’Manberg. The team up of Dream, Techno, Philza and Y/N was their biggest nightmare that just came to fruition.

They knew they didn’t have a chance and yet they had to try. Had to try to protect their home like they always did but it was a vain effort. Who would have enough power to fight against warrior gods?

[unproduciblesmackdown]

um hello excuse me i just listened to that teenage dirtbag video and now i have no choice other than to ask you... what is up. that voice was lovely, the range the performer had when switching to the girl's role i?? hello??? so is this the uh... god um. dear evan hansen or the uhhhh oh my god sorry im typing as im thinking this is hell. the other one. be more chill? i have some friends into these things but never paid much attention but after that vid my inch rest is how do you say, Peaked.

it just hit me that the right word was actually 'piqued' rip me

hahahaha yeah i can tell you All About It.....see my origin story is that uh. fuckin uh right so i vaguely knew deh existed back when it was broadway-debuting at the end of 2016 and probably many of us were vaguely aware it existed, but then in the next summer (2017) i heard a cover of one of its songs and i was like “i can tell this is one of those songs that would be given way more context if i knew the plot” and by that point the wikipedia entry had a plot summary available and i got that context and even though he was fairly briefly mentioned, one of the side characters Piqued My Interest b/c i just knew like. aha that already feels like a character type i would rly latch on to. and this was in the back of my mind for a while and for like the next year i would intermittently check out another song or two or get a little bit more lore, but it wasn’t until like, fall 2018 i finally went “you know what, i am gonna dive in for Maximum Lore actually” and my motivation for doing this was cuz i wanted to find out all the info about The One Side Character lmfao, like, the “main plot” and “entire actual show” to me is just the Lore for him basically b/c that was truly my angle hahaha and my interest was further piqued b/c like i quickly went “oh so he’s secretly in love with the protagonist right, got it,” which like. was a latent vibe i got from that very first wikipedia plot summary readthrough tbh lmfao. and is True.

and then even after deciding to dig into the lore and confirming that Yes i love this character as i thought i would it took like another week or two before i ever like, Watched dear evan hansen lmfaooo and i’ve never stopped complaining about the show since ljdfs but not Not b/c the character isn’t as good as i thought (or b/c Nothing Else is good either, but. you know how it is. #canon 9_9 ) and then in the course of looking for More Content i was you know, looking at a variety of posts On Here and looking at some behind-the-scenes / bonus content type stuff on youtube and went “oh well hey the actor that plays that character i love is also a nice funny guy according to testimony and also that i like his vibe in these vids” and, fun fact as is the nature of live theatre (and it being like, oct / nov 2018 by then) he was not still the Current actor for said character but had, in fact, moved on to be more chill and Already Completed a late summer off-broadway run as the lead (and a bway run had been announced already, though im not Certain i remember the point / how i became aware of this lol).....which again, i too had Heard Of (and had once ages prior coincidentally leafed thru the book once and read a few excerpts but knew nothing abt anything beyond that).....but hilariously while i Knew he was in bmc thru some 101 research, i was like “okay i’ll move on to that in a sec” while focusing on deh for a while still b/c it was not until i happened to casually look up “okay so what does his character do in this show i’m completely unfamiliar with” that i went “oh fuck he’s the LEAD????!!!” lmaooo like i did Not realize this and that upped my urgency abt it

a very very broad description of bmc is that it’s a Fun Show coz it’s this teen scifi Magical Realism plotline classic musical comedy type of thing, a genre we all already know and love lol /j, and importantly, the music is fuckinggg Bops. very common “gateway drug” is This song. there’s an Original Broadway Cast Album all on youtube (and, somewhat confusingly im sure, an Original Cast Album, but that was an off-off-bway run, and i’m interested squarely in the off-bway and bway versions lmfao, so, and that is what one will get recommended from me (more updated versions of all the songs anyways)) and also, this is basically a tangential thought i had but circling back around to deh, My Guy (will roland as jared kleinman) does not actually get all that much singing material in the show (v different situation from be more chill) even in the song that features his character most heavily, but that song also happens to be the most fun song in deh and also a bop, and here’s an especially fun live performance to check out if u wanna, the other two dudes are not official cast members lmfao but still

and like, when all this deh-ing and enthusiastic bmc-ing (which i got into Just In Time to be following along with its broadway run, which was very fun to do) affirmed like boy i love this Actor’s Material for sure, i did a little digging into his nicher Credits, including, one fateful day in march, his tv credits, which meant i like stumbled across the fact he has this recurring role in Billions(tm) and that stumbling = immediately falling flat on my face b/c i Loved the content and we coincidentally got really into it Just In Time before the next season’s stuff started airing with him in it, and that was truly an Experience we’ve been having ever since. that’s it’s own insane tangent b/c this show is fucking Something Else but, jsyk, since i am talking about “billions” left and right and stuff, that’s the vague context for that. latched onto a character -> the actor -> the actor’s other stuff, and that [other stuff] is getting brought up around here a lot, especially billions.....we’re having fun and following our hearts with it lmao

i’m Not Great at finding a balance between “doing an elaborate lore dump when someone asks me ‘what’s X about?’ and i spend the next several hours just play by play walking them through the whole thing” and “trying to avoid doing that where i get Too In Depth and instead end up just overly glossing over it all and they’re like ‘that doesn’t give me any info :/’” but i Can and Will talk more in depth about any of this stuff b/c yeah........but between deh and bmc, i definitely like bmc more Overall and....in the specifics of it too.....and like the obcr way better......and uh Everything about it better lmfaooo but i also love the particular characters Jared and Alana, side character teens in deh, so im always about That as well..........but if u were like “hm which might i look into a little first,” i gotta say like, i like bmc better both as a matter of My Personal Taste and from a more critical standpoint of “what is the show meant to be / does it accomplish what it wants to” type stuff. even though deh is the critical darling lmfao go figure! *i* decide what’s good, actually, and as we all know, i’m correct and a genius. which, haha im joking, but i Am right and i Am not Not smart in ways lol

aaaaaaand yeah additionally like. can and will answer Any more particular questions about any of this shit b/c, it’s my shit, and you know how i roll

and p.s. glad you liked the Teenage Dirtbag it is such a good performance lol. naturally getting real into this one actor / singer’s shit means that there’s also stuff Outside [performing a particular role] which is still some sweet sweet content, such as other solo performances during a concert / cabaret stuff.....the lore is Very Rich and is V Good so it’s fun

[kaialone]

Spirit Tracks Translation Comparison: Link’s Journey Begins

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the cutscene at the start of the game that first introduces Link.

You can also watch this cutscene for yourself in English and Japanese. If you want, you can check out the EU English version, too.

For the comparison, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

--

Character in this part who had their name changed between versions:

Cirokuni = Alfonzo.

--

At Niko’s House:

Niko:

どうだい？ わしの作った 「実録！神と魔王の大バトル！」は？

So, what do you think of my creation? "True Story! The Great Battle of the God and the Demon King!"  (1)

Well? Do I know how to tell a story or what?

I call it "Spirits and Demons...at War!"

Niko:

こいつは数年に 一度の 傑作...いや大傑作だよ！

This is something like you only see once every few years - it's a masterpiece... no, a great masterpiece!

I only do this show once a year, you know!

It's a blasted masterpiece! A...a...a blasterpiece!

Niko:

なんだ また寝ちまったのかい？ リンク

What's this? Did you fall asleep again, Link?

What's this? You fell asleep during my magnum opus?

Niko:

やれやれ...

一緒に住んでる お前だから 最新作をタダで見られるんだよ？

わかってんのかい？

Good grief...

You know, because you're living with me, you actually get to see my latest works for free.

You understand?

I can't believe this! You know, Link...

A lot of people would love to be in your position.

As my roommate, you get to see my work for free!

Niko:

わしも もう歳だ これが遺作になるかもしれない

少しは真面目に年寄りの作品を 味わって欲しいもんだよ...

I'm already pretty old, so this might end up being a posthumous piece.

I really wish you'd at least try a little to appreciate your elder's work...

Plus, I'm not getting any younger here.

This story might be the only thing that proves I existed.

Can't you pay attention for one minute...

And listen to an old man's final creation?

Niko:

聞いてんのかい？ リンク

Are you listening, Link?

Are you listening to me, Link?

Link:

ながいよ / あきたよ

It's so long... / I'm bored...

Sort of. / Zzzz...

Niko:

そうかい そうかい   そりゃ すまなかったねぇ

Alright, alright, I get it. Sorry 'bout that, then.

OK, OK, I can take a hint. Sorry for boring you.

Niko:

おや お前の 師匠が来たようだ

久し振りだね シロクニ

Oh, looks like your teacher's here.

Long time no see, Cirokuni.

Look, here comes your mentor.

Hello there, Alfonzo!

Alfonzo:

呆れたもんだな まだ ここにいたのか...

You gotta be kiddin’ me. You're still here?

Why are you still here, Link?

Alfonzo:

ん？ 寝ぼけてるのかよ？ リンク！

Hm? Are you even awake? Link!

Come on now--wipe the sleep out of your eyes!

Alfonzo:

起きろ リンク！

Wake up, Link!

Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up!

Alfonzo:

今日は大事な謁見の日だ 分かってんのか？

Today's the day of your important audience, don't you know?

Today is a very important day, you know!

It's your audience with the princess!

Link:

なにそれ？/ わすれてた

What's that? / I forgot

What?! / Uh, right.

Alfonzo:

なんと情けねぇ そんなだから いつまでたっても 半人前なんだよ

This is just pathetic. If you keep this up, you're gonna be a rookie forever.

Don't tell me you forgot!

You won't amount to much if you don't pay attention.

Alfonzo:

お前は今日 正式な機関士に なるために 城へ行くんだろ！？

ゼルダ姫さまに任命して頂く 大事な日じゃねぇか！

You're supposed to go to the castle today, so you can become an official engineer!

You know? That important day where Her Highness Princess Zelda is gonna appoint you as one?!

Don't you want your engineer certificate?

Well, the graduation ceremony is at the castle.

Princess Zelda herself is going to do the honors!

Alfonzo:

俺は先に駅で待ってるが 寝ぼけたままで来られるか？

迷子になるといけねえから 一応言っておくぞ...

駅は道沿いに上の方だ わかってな？ 早く来いよ

I'm gonna be waitin' up ahead by the station, if you can manage to get there half-asleep.

Just so you don't get yourself lost, I'm gonna tell you this once...

The station is along the road. Got it? Then get movin’.

I'm heading to the station now, so meet me there.

Remember, the station is up the road. Don't get lost!

Got it? Good! Then get a move on!

Alfonzo:

ニコじい お邪魔さんです

Pardon me, Old Man Niko.

See you later, Niko.

Translation Note:

The title Niko gave his story is done in a dramatized style, similar to anime episode titles and the like, particularly ones from 90s shōnen.

--

Comparisons & Thoughts:

The localization in this cutscene is pretty faithful, so this section won’t be all too long. But there are still a few things I want to point out.

-

First of all, something you will probably notice from this point on is that the English version will sometimes take about two text boxes to say something the Japanese version did in just one.

This is because in Japanese, you can write more words with less characters, due to how the writing system works.

When it comes to English localizations of Japanese games, an additional hurdle is having to work with limited text space that was originally tailored to Japanese writing.

Typically, the older a game is, the bigger this problem will be.

So, localization choices can’t just be based around being accurate, but also what they will be able to even fit.

-

In the Japanese version, Niko says that his picture story is "something like you only see once every few years” , but in the English version, he instead says “I only do this show once a year, you know!“.

So in Japanese, Niko uses a figure of speech to describe how great his creation is, while in English he says he only does one show like this per year.

I think this is probably a minor translation error, rather than a deliberate change.

And technically, you do see Niko doing another picture story show like this during the credits, which suggests it’s an at least somewhat common thing for him to do.

-

Something that might be hard to spot in this cutscene in particular is that we got a slightly different characterization for Alfonzo in Japanese.

It only comes up at the very end here, but the idea with him is basically that he talks in a very informal, gruff manner, but completely changes his tone when addressing someone with authority, switching to a far more polite, formal speaking style.

In this cutscene here we see him chew out Link in an especially harsh manner, but then he politely says goodbye to Niko, which makes for a stark contrast.

This gives us a bit of an early glimpse into this character, whom you might first expect to be a simple tough guy, but then shows that he has a more cultivated side as well.

I feel this kinda hints at his past, which we learn about later, and contrasts his character a bit with his ancestor Gonzo, who’s a nice guy, but not formal at all.

But in this case here there is only one line that shows off this contrast, so it’s easy to miss in any case, and it’s a bit harder to get across when writing in English, too.

-

Overall, the localization in this cutscene is great.

The two points I mentioned aside, it makes sure to include the information that is conveyed in the original version, even if it does it slightly differently.

The writing of the characters’ dialogue feels natural and clever, exactly what you would want from something like this.

A specific example I want to highlight are the lines: “It’s a blasted masterpiece! A…a…a blasterpiece!”

I find this bit to be a nice example of retaining the overall feeling of a portion of text, while still changing it in some form.

The line “it’s a masterpiece… no, a great masterpiece!” from my translation is technically closer to the original, but it also doesn’t get across how the slight escalation of Niko’s description can come across as humorous in Japanese.

So taking the funny escalation of “masterpiece” -> “great masterpiece”, and coming up with the equivalent “blasted masterpiece” -> “blasterpiece” is quite smart, I feel.

And with that, this part concludes. Feel free to check out the next one!

--

< Previous Part | Start | Next Part >

--

[imthederpyfox]

Rant About YouTube Copyright.

by imthederpyfox, Moments ago

Journals / Personal

I know nobody's here anymore, hi, nobody~

But I need to take a minute to rant about YouTube's copyright system for a moment.

I know it's come a long way in the past few years, content creators never used to be able to defend their work with copyright under YouTube guidelines, and it's great that they now can. However, there is also the problem that as content creators can fairly and justly claim others videos that include misused content off their own, creators will also claim videos just because they don't like them. AKA 'foodybeauty' and 'Amber-Lynn Reid', to name a few...

Along with this, we also have major companies who think they should copyright any video posted about one of their shows or films or games, or anything really.

Now I know, full re-uploads of these things are against copyright law, well done YouTube, would you like a gold star? Well, guess what, you don't get one. Because not only can they claim these full videos, they have also been going on binges, where as soon as ANY kind of content related to their products comes out, it becomes copyrighted before the content creator can even so much as blink or press save.

I'm talking about videos where you can barely see what the creator's watching, i.e - an UNLISTED video I just posted of a review/reaction to a Netflix show called Haunted.

Now, I have posted another reaction for Riverdale, and spent months trying to figure out the best action to take. Bare in mind, these videos are 'unedited' for my patrons, and the links are only available to my patrons. But guess what? I HAVE NO PATRONS! First of all, HOW do these big companies find an unlisted video? Are they my patrons? I mean that'd be nice, but no. They Aren't.

Second of all, why the fuck would you block an UNLISTED video, when so many people upload full copyrighted re-uploads of films and TV with no issue?

Third of all, how did you even know my video contained any of your program when it's not even named after the show AT ALL because I KNOW you'll copyright it immediately if the title has so much of a WHISPER of the show included.

Now, I will admit, I understand why my first video got copyright claimed - despite being unlisted, which I'm still annoyed about - because most of the screen was taken up by the episode of Riverdale, rather than my reaction. I get it, fine. So, I edit it, I make myself the main focus - ew, I know - and I lower the opacity of the original video, and I cut out any songs that go on for too long, and I make sure that 1/4 of the video isn't even FUCKING VISIBLE!

Safe to say, this is not a re-upload of the original content. This is an upload of a reaction to said content. My reaction, in which I am constantly talking throughout, constantly cutting in, constantly ruining this series for everyone that decides to give me money to watch, what a good YouTuber I am indeed.

So, because I couldn't let sleeping dogs lie when I earned my SECOND COPYRIGHT CLAIM ON THIS UNLISTED PATREON VIDEO! I decided to look more into the company trying to claim it. Was it Netflix? Nope. Was it a TV company? Well, sort of? A french company that distributes TV shows, or so it claims. See what I did there? Good right? No, ok, moving on. So upon my research I happened to come across multiple videos, saying that the company was a scam, that they were fake and shouldn't even be copyrighting things.

SO, what did I do? Well, just to make sure I checked which part of my video was still listed under their 'copyrighted content' thing, because if you check it'll tell you time stamps and give you the option to trim. So, there was about 5-6 minutes of my video that for some reason was still being claimed as copyrighted, so I went in, and edited little bits out, where there was no dialogue, no important things, and then I saved it, and waited for it to process, and then I went into that copyright claims and I said, ya know what? I'm not taking this shit, I worked hard for this video, I made sure to do everything I needed to do, and since these videos fall under fair use due to the cutting and editing and the fact you can't SEE 1/4 OF THE VIDEO, I sent a dispute.

Now I have to admit, I was nervous. If the company that copyright claimed my video didn't like the fact that I'd done that, they could CHOOSE TO COPYRIGHT STRIKE ME. Like, no review from YouTube, nothing like that. If this company didn't like that a tiny channel with only 57 subscribers put in a dispute against them, they might get pissed. They might not like the fact that someone's done that, and they might turn around and say to YouTube, FUCK this channel, bye bye, bitch.

So I was worried to say the least, but I have never been one to back away from bullying, and in this case, I class it as bullying.

I filled in all the relevant details, including a very in depth explanation as to why my video was counted under fair use, and how my channel is tiny, how I don't have any Patrons to see the video, how my video was unlisted, and heavily edited to make sure the copyright did not count against me, including the use of disclaimers in both the video and the description.

I was professional.

I was right.

And I won the dispute.

A day later I get an email telling me the company decided to release my video of all claims and it is now available for all none of my viewers to watch! How exciting, right?

Well, today I decided that I'd upload my second reaction that I'd recorded, I did the same as with the last one, having learned something. I lowered opacity, I covered any nudity, I cut off 1/4 of the video, I made it so the focus would be on my ugly ass mug instead of the TV show itself. And I spent hours trying to upload it for it to fail and me have to do it again.

And low and behold, after all my troubles, all my trials and tribulations, all my blood, sweat and tears and turmoil... I got copyright claimed once again.

Now, it's safe to say, I'm a little bit pissed, ya know?

My video - much like last time - hadn't even fully been uploaded, around the 97% mark, and boom, claim. So I took a deep breath, ya home boi is NOT happy, and I see where exactly it thinks my video is not covered under copyright law. And this is where I think these companies don't care if you are actually covered under the law or not, because it's always a random part of the video, it's always about a 5 minute chunk of the video regardless of what you do.

Which leads me to my next conclusion, in order for these companies to be finding these videos - especially with them being in the unlisted category (needing a specific link to be able to view), and the title not being related, and the video being edited to make sure it isn't eligible for a copyright claim, they MUST have a bot, or a program running that searches YouTube for clips of their content, regardless of how it's presented, or whether it's a review or not.

Which I have to say, is unfair. Especially in the case of the unlisted thing. I know, YouTube can't help it if these companies have bots and programs and code, they can't stop that from happening. But what they can stop? What they SHOULD stop? Is these companies being able to claim videos that aren't even eligible for it.

YouTube, man, you gotta work on this.

We were rooting for you! We were ALL rooting for you!

Anyway, seriously, YouTube really needs to find a way to make sure copyright is fair and just and not maintained by just programs and bots. YouTube, why not create a part of your company that reviews these claims, checks the videos, guarantees that the claims only go to those ACTUALLY abusing the copyright system? Instead of those of us who just want to make fun content for our viewers, who strive to just make good reaction videos? Because that's what they are, REACTION videos. Not re-uploads, not someone else's content.

'Great poets imitate and improve, whereas small ones steal and spoil.'

Give a little back to the people that got you where you are today YouTube. None of these big companies had you raking in money to begin with, it was the little guys, the small content creators who now have millions of viewers, because they enjoy what they do. Well, most of 'em anyway...

Just think about your content creators, rather than appeasing the companies that give you a bit more money. I know they won't, because capitalism rules despite how shit it is.

Is it really a wonder that so many creators are turning to streaming through sites like Twitch.tv instead of uploading to YouTube? Even the other day, on a live stream I was doing myself, me and my friends talked about how much better streaming is, how you don't have to constantly be worried about making sure the video is friendly for 2 year olds. 2 YEAR OLDS SHOULDN'T EVEN BE WATCHING, OK?!

My goal has been to be a YouTuber since I was about 12. I'm now almost 22. That's just under 10 years of my life, where my goal, my one finish line, has been to become a YouTuber. But the more and more things like this happen, the more and more I want to listen to that voice in my head telling me to give it up and go to Twitch, become a streamer, not stress so much about copyright strikes and issues with monitisation, and having such UNREALISTIC goals in order to achieve being monitised and YouTube partner in the first place.

I have edited this video, the parts it told me to, I have made sure to cut out the music bits and make sure it's up to par with copyright based on where they claimed the video. But my issue with sending off this newest in what I assume will be a long line of copyright disputes, because someone, even as small a channel as mine, with my 57 subscribers and my 5 views a video (at a push), has to push back and say 'NO. THIS ISN'T OK.' and not let themselves be pushed around, my issue with this?

The company that claimed the video this time was Netflix itself. And we all know Netflix has money. And Netflix doesn't care if it shuts down a tiny little channel like mine. All my content? All my videos? All views and subs and likes I've somehow managed to accumulate? All gone. Like Thanos snapping his fucking fingers.

Regardless of what I do to make these videos fair use, big companies like this get the final say over them, and as far as they're concerned, us little creators who don't make YouTube money yet, but still hold onto that hope that, maybe, hopefully, one day we will be able to do it, we're the 50% they want to snap and get rid of.

And it'll stay that way for a long time, unless people actually stand up and talk about it. Heck, it'll probably end up staying that way even then, but at least we TRIED.

I have respect for Matpatt, I watched his video explaining the work he and other creators have done in bringing awareness to the higher ups in YouTube, using their platforms to help each other and millions of other creators, people who just want to make other people laugh or forget about their problems for a while, or just upload stupid, 2 minute clips because of inside jokes, or they find it funny, they enjoy doing it.

If we as humans have been taught anything recently during this quarantine, it's that a lot of our societal structures are flawed, some may even say broken. Big companies scam us, use us, and give nothing back in return. If peoples eyes aren't open now, when will they be?

This won't get views. This won't get likes or favourites or shared to other people because of some powerful message.

But maybe one day, someone from YouTube will be randomly scrolling through the internet, and find a random post on a crude fanart website amongst all the sonic and Mario at the Olympic fuck games art, and maybe they'll read it and take note.

But we all know that'll never happen.

So I'm gonna wait for the video to finish saving the changes I made to it, and I'm going to dispute the claim Netflix made against me. And I'm going to anxiously wait to see if I get to continue making content for another day, or whether I get taken down by the snap.

------------

If you made it this far, thanks for listening to my rambling.

I feel strongly about a lot of things, and my friends often tell me that I should post about them, because I have such an... Eloquent way or wording things. Well, I finally decided to, because I need to vent as much as the next asshole. They're right, I AM eloquent!

Seriously though, thank you for reading, I know nobody would have but hey, maybe you're one of the 3 views I get on my YouTube videos!

I am blessed.

With like 50,000 curses going on at once.

Such a time to be alive.

Stay safe, look out for each other, and I may do another rant at some point, because this was fun I guess.

-Exza~

[karliahs]

2 or 7 for the ask meme?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

hmmm...i want to do some of the big hurt/comfort ones. cuddling for warmth especially - good, powerful, and ties in nicely to my fixation on people falling asleep on each other

plus i know i’ve already done some kidnapping stuff but maybe...more of that

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

i think i’d have to go with this passage from remedy:

They’d picked a good day for it. Most of the class is wearing scarves and gloves, but the autumn sun lights up the jades and lilacs of the garden, giving it a welcoming and otherworldly feel. They walk among low-hanging willow branches, shielding dark ponds thrumming with life. Large, hollow logs house delicate ecosystems of fungi. Each tree seems selected specifically to house a particular kind of bird, each flower to benefit a particular insect. It’s beautiful and cold, and Izuku feels momentarily at peace.

Aizawa had lectured them at the entrance about respecting their environment and being on their best behaviour, a lecture everyone had nodded along to as they’d already been thoroughly pre-lectured back at the dorms by Iida and Yaoyorozu, with brief interjections from almost everyone who’d been part of the original brainstorming sessions.

Iida and Yaoyorozu had emphasised that this day must be calm and relaxing, free of all but the mildest of shenanigans, or many people’s efforts would have gone to waste and also they might get kicked out of a beautiful garden, and being kicked out of the outdoors is a sign that something has gone terribly wrong. Others chimed in with increasingly threatening additions: this would be relaxing, or many people’s phones might suddenly short out (Kaminari). They would be on their best behaviour, or people might find themselves levitated into nearby dumpsters as they slept (Uraraka). One-upmanship caused these to escalate and provide a useful example of the kind of behaviour that would be avoided at the garden.

Regardless, everyone was reasonably on board, either out of genuine goodwill or simple curiosity to see if they were actually capable of causing their teacher to have a nice day.

i love the general vibes of this fake garden that i invented, and i feel like the tone of fanfic doesn’t often give a lot of opportunities to do this kind of descriptive stuff and it was really fun to like...play with language, try to choose words that flow well together and give an impression of something delicate, complicated and peaceful

also i’m a summer person at heart but lately i’ve come to really appreciate being in beautiful outdoor places when it’s cold...it’s such a unique and nice vibe and i hope i captured at least some of that here

i also had to pick this part bc i didn’t realise the next paragraphs describe the pre-lecture until i went hunting for it, and i like that for totally different reasons:

i find it extremely charming to consider 1a class meetings that are exclusively dedicating to deciding trivial shit, go off course about 14 times per meeting, lead to so much iida gesturing, etc

i will say that i am extremely good at writing things that make me, specifically, laugh, and “being kicked out of the outdoors is a sign that something has gone terribly wrong” gets me every time

this is a very specific thing, but i feel like often i make the choice to summarise something like those convos as a compromise - because i know the scene has to exist but i’m not sure how to write it, because i don’t want to slow the story down too much, etc - but this one i think honestly works better summarised. i think it’s funnier to get that glimpse of things through retrospective description and let people put their own spins on what each character would say when they imagine it...little interstitial stuff like this gives me a lot of troubleusually (why can’t people only talk, forever, with no text in between to explain shit, my writing brain says to me every day of my life) so it’s nice to be happy with something like that!

i also think it’s very funny to have 1a be like hm are we? capable of causing aizawa to experience mostly positive emotions for like...a whole afternoon? is that something we can do? guess we gotta find out now. like they’re so full of determination but also so prone to getting into scrapes. the trick to controlling them is to figure out ways to channel that determination into doing harmless nice things for one another. like, someone tell bakugou that he definitely isn’t capable of knitting everyone in class a personalised jumper and i guarantee he would be looking at knitting tutorials on youtube within like 30 seconds

[tempestaurora]

Also! As you're studying creative and professional writing: do you have any writing advice? Anything you picked up along the way that's incredibly helpful with your original fiction and fanfic?

alright, i’m gonna try and culminate the last three years of my degree into the most helpful advice i received that i can remember and it might be completely useless to you all but who cares:

adverbs are the enemy. if you can say she smiled prettily you can sure as hell take another four words to describe what was pretty about her smile instead. (if you gotta keep 1 or 2 adverbs in, fine, but purge the rest.)

kill your darlings is usually relevant but only because that one sentence you love so much is usually only loved because it doesn’t actually fit in with everything else. if your darling fits and works, don’t go killing it - raise everything surrounding it to that standard.

when posting articles/content online (especially on websites like medium), post towards the back end of the week, in the second half of the day. wednesday and thursday are the best ones for it. the algorithms of medium and other websites will make sure the article ends up trickling into friday, when bored employees go online during their breaks, and if enough of them read it, it’ll be especially popular over the weekend. (case in point, i did exactly this for this essay on depression.)

be warned though, popularity can be down to your tagging system, your title, any featured image and subtitle. just because you post at the exact right time doesn’t mean you’ll get the reads. here’s a masterlist of free stock images you can use, just because i’m nice.

read everything you can

read where we came from as much as new books. i don’t like classics but even i have to admit that reading ray bradbury can provide important and helpful tips and tricks, as much as reading the hunger games can.

try as many genres as you can, but if you know what genre you want to write in, focus your energy on that. a teacher of mine once said that he regrets dividing his energy between literary fiction and horror. he reads and writes both, but because he spent his time split, he never mastered either of them. if he had focused on one over the other, his talents with it would be much more than they are. (though, note, if you want to focus on multiple genres, do it anyway. i can’t decide between sci fi and fantasy, so i’m willing to master neither so i can enjoy them both.)

write everyday if possible. my teachers all recommend morning pages - you write a page in the morning before you get up and leave. do it during breakfast or when you’re still in bed. it can be about anything - word association, prose, poetry, whatever. it also does not have to be good. here’s a good book we were recommended on the subject if you want help with this.

for fan fic specifically: write in third person. unless you’ve got something super Artsy and Forward Thinking going on, your readers will only find themselves uncomfortable with first person, as we’re already trained to consider these characters as outside ourselves. putting first person in makes us the same person as the character, and whether readers are aware of it or not, that’s not the experience they came to fan fic for.

try to observe the trends of fan fiction when you can. i did this when i wrote for the 100 (i noticed that more people wrote during the hiatus between seasons, but more people were reading during the season airing and immediately after it finished) - you’ll find you’ll get more reads than you expect.

on tagging, just because it’s relevant to me: tag however you want on ao3, but tumblr only pays attention to the first 5, so make them the most important ones that are most likely to be read. from 6 onwards, tumblr won’t put your post in that listing when searched, so don’t bother.

don’t make the same mistakes i did with the prose around dialogue. it’s not:

“Hey there,” Jackson said. Emily smiled.

“Hey!”

as soon as your prose stops relating to the dialogue and jackson, you gotta start a new paragraph. even if you’re going into exposition or description - it doesn’t belong on the same line as the dialogue and it’ll start confusing the reader. especially when you stop saying things like “jackson said” and the reader starts attributing the dialogue to incorrect characters. try:

“Hey there,” Jackson said.

Emily smiled. “Hey!”

be as economical in your writing as possible. seriously. i love purple prose but we don’t need it everywhere. sometimes the reader just needs the facts and not three paragraphs of adjacent information. (sometimes, however, the reader wants that information, so it’s about being economical with how often you’re economical.)

for correct formatting for scripts, use the BBC writer’s room. they also have contests and open submissions. very occasionally, the people who submit can get hired to the BBC.

let yourself be shit at writing. it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Reading List:

here’s the best books i can offer you for writing. some may be helpful, some not so much for you - but these are the books my teachers recommended and i connected with.

The Writer’s Journey, Christopher Vogler is a staple, okay? it was the first book we were told to buy, because it breaks apart a story into so many pieces and shows you how they’re to be employed. it’s not an enjoyable read, but it’s a really good place to be starting from.

The Elements of Style, Strunk and White. Another staple. Very short and apparently, very important.

if you want help with novel writing, Thomas Emson’s How To Write a Novel in Six Months is my go-to. he came in and delivered a lecture, the book takes only 40 minutes to read, and it comes with a lot of great advice you can pick and choose from. i reference him every time y’all ask for writing advice and it’s because the things i took from his book are the most helpful to my process.

Stephen King’s On Writing is pretty good. I was bored as heck through the first half, where he writes his life story, but the second half is all writing advice and super helpful.

as mentioned in the morning pages point: The Artist’s Way, Julia Cameron.

The Definitive Guide to Screenwriting, Syd Field.

The Ode Less Travelled, Stephen Fry. if you’re interested in writing poetry, this is a very good one to use.

On Writing Well, William Zinsser. if you want to write non-fiction, this is the one for you. get the most recent edition you can, the edits are worth it. (for example, zinsser originally wrote ‘he’ when talking of the writer, and eventually changed to ‘they’ and ‘he or she’, because he learned feminism lmao.)

my playwriting teacher recommends The Art of Writing Drama, Michelene Wandor which i haven’t actually read yet but i plan to.

Heussner, Tobias, et al. The Game Narrative Toolbox is good (though a lil expensive) for when it comes to writing for games.

so is Rusch, Doris C. Making Deep Games: Designing Games with Meaning and Purpose, but again, recommended for games.

sources: i’m a third year creative and professional writing undergrad, taught by professional writers in fiction, experimental literature, poetry, non-fiction, playwriting, young adult and children’s literature and game design. 

[johnboothus]

Wine 101: Listener Episode

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In this special episode of “Wine 101,” VinePair tastings director Keith Beavers answers some questions from dedicated listeners. Explaining everything from how elevation affects wine to what the term “natural wine” really means, Beavers responds to his audience’s most burning wine questions.

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Keith Beavers: My name is Keith Beavers and you haven’t had a sloppy Joe until you’ve had a New Jersey sloppy Joe, specifically from Town Hall Deli in South Orange.

What’s going on, wine lovers! Welcome to Episode 29 of VinePair’s “Wine 101” podcast. My name is Keith Beavers. I am the tastings director of VinePair. It’s Season 2, and how are you?

OK, guys. This is the listener episode. You guys sent questions in, and I’m going to answer the questions to the best of my ability. This is going to be fun. Let’s get into it.

We’ve never done this before. Of course, we are only in Season 2, but we didn’t do it in Season 1. Even though we talk about wine every week together and we’ve learned a lot in the past two seasons, we’re just at the end of Season 2. We definitely have more to learn, obviously. Yet I thought, right now, are there some burning questions you have for me here at “Wine 101?”

I put it out there and got a bunch of questions. I’m going to go ahead and just answer as many as I can in this short little time we have together in this episode of “Wine 101.” This is just me riffing, so let’s riff.

I don’t particularly like the “jammy” profile of many California Cabs. Which regions should I be avoiding, or is it more complicated than that?

The jamminess of wine — especially with Cabs because Cabernet Sauvignon really wants to be big, bold, structured, and peppery — it also really wants a little bit of Merlot to blend with it so it can soften a little bit because it’s a bit of an austere kind of wine. One way to do it would be, if you don’t like the jamminess of a California Cab, try to find California Cabernet Sauvignons that are not blended with anything else and actually have 100 percent Cab in them. That might give you what you’re looking for because Cab does have austerity to it. When it’s made well, a 100 percent Cab from Napa is incredible, structured, and not jammy.

However, if you’re just generally not down with the California sun and the jamminess of the varieties and maybe the Merlot and Syrah that is blended into them, try to find Cabernet Sauvignon from cooler wine regions. Washington State has some really nice, more lean, peppery-style yet structured Cabernet Sauvignon. You can also go to Bordeaux, but Bordeaux is going to be blended with Merlot or Cab Franc.

Now, these are general statements. If you do have a wine merchant that you trust, try to ask them about that saying, “Look, I don’t like the jammy Cabs. Help me out.” If you’re on your own and you don’t have a wine shop that you know and trust, this stuff might help.

What are some resources I can use to get the latest news about wine?

I’m just going to say it: VinePair, right? VinePair is the No. 1 source for wine news and education on the internet. I just gotta say it. We are built for you, the consumer. We don’t do pay to play. We have our own point system. I review all the wines. “Wine 101” is an extension of VinePair. It is part of the education at VinePair. We have amazing freelance writers that are reporting from all over the world, constantly updating the industry. We have in-house writers doing great jobs, writing great stuff about what’s going on in the wine world. We’re not a ticker tape-type thing, but we have all the info.

Where can I get my hands on an aged wine to try to know I like aged wine before I invest in a whole wine-aging setup?

It’s a little bit complicated and it can be pretty personal because what wines are you excited about that you want to age? If you listen to “Wine 101,” you know that not all the wines in the world age. The majority of the wines out there are for the here and now. There are places in the world that we’ve talked about in “Wine 101” that have age-worthy wines: Barolo, Barbaresco, Bordeaux, Burgundy, Napa, and other places like that. Where would you like to taste aged wine? Once you decide that, you may need some help from a wine merchant, but you buy a certain wine from a place you’d like to taste — a new vintage. Then, you invest in an older bottle of wine. It might be more expensive, but you’ll get a sense of how the wine ages. You’ll have a younger version and you’ll have an older version of it. It can be expensive, but the one place in the world where you can do this and not break the bank is Rioja. Rioja, for some reason, has older vintages often on the American market that are not that expensive. That might be the first place to try.

Do wines taste better when you have them in their country of origin, or is an imported bottle just as good?

I would say the latter. If a wine comes from somewhere else to the United States, it shouldn’t be any different, because the winemaker made the wine in a certain way and that’s going to be the way you taste it in the United States. Now, bottles that do come from somewhere else to the United States have a bumpy journey, and sometimes they need to rest before they are released into the distribution because it gets jostled a little bit and has to settle. There’s also improper storage. If it’s stored in a bad place and it comes to you oxidized, that’s not the winemaker’s fault, it’s the distribution’s fault. There should not be a difference between the wine you taste in, let’s say, Barolo that you love so much and when you buy it at a local wine shop. It should, without vintage variation and minimal bottle variation, pretty much taste the same.

Is Franzia wine?

I love this question. Yes, Franzia is wine. Franzia is a company that buys bulk surplus wine or grapes, and mass-produces them into wine. The only reason why people don’t think it’s wine is because of the stigma of mass-production wine. It doesn’t matter because if you like it, you like it, and if you don’t, you don’t. The one thing about Franzia — and the reason why people mess with a little bit — is when you’re making a wine from a grape, the higher the production rate, the less complexity you get from the wine because you’re dealing with just so many hectoliters per liter, you’re not getting any complexities. That’s what it is. When you’re buying a wine that’s mass-produced, it’s not about complexity, it’s about everyday enjoyment. So, Franzia is wine.

What is your go-to wine for a weeknight anniversary or double date?

For a weeknight, personally, I just want a young wine. A young white, a young red, or something that’s made to drink now that hasn’t been aging. If it’s in the summer, I’m going to chill it down. I want it to be high-acid red. If it’s winter, I want it to have a little more depth to it. It also depends on what I’m cooking, right? For an anniversary, I’m going to level up like Ciara. I’m going to open a wine that needs time to develop as we have our anniversary dinner. When you’re hanging out with your significant other with a nice, aged bottle of wine, the oxygen is just layering and layering that wine. Then, the wine is leveling up while you’re talking, and it just jives with the whole idea of an anniversary. You’ve been together for this many years, and then there’s this nice vintage wine and it’s opening up as we talk. It’s romantic, right? For a double date, I would definitely make sure the wine was young and low in alcohol because you just want to have fun. I would like to have a Grüner Veltliner screw cap, nice and fun. Sauvignon Blanc, a chilled Gamay, or a fun Pinot Noir. Mainly, something with low alcohol that’s good for social vibes. You know what I mean?

Is it worth it for me, a wine novice, to own a copy of Jedi Wine Master Jancis Robinson’s “Wine Grapes,” or is there another book or site you would recommend first?

OK, so wine literature? That’s everywhere. There are so many books out there, but “Wine Grapes,” the book that Jancis and Hugh did, and the “Oxford Wine Companion” are very expensive books and they are deep and wide. You can go down rabbit holes, and you know that I love doing that because I’m here to teach you guys about wine. Those are my primary sources of information, and I can just branch out from there. If that’s what you want to do and you want to get deep and start there, you should definitely go for it. However, they are going to be monetary investments. They’re expensive books. Hopefully, I’m helping here because this is a nice 20 minutes at a time, giving you little nuggets of information you can use. VinePair, of course, again, I have to recommend. We are a great source for wine education and wine information. There are also some books out there to get you started. “The Wine Bible “is a very good, absolute beginning point. It was written by Karen MacNeil, and she updates it all the time. It’s the first reference guide that I ever had in wine, and I always recommend that to start.

How do I find people who care as much as I do about wine, and how do I avoid the snobs?

I love this question because I felt this in the beginning when I started in wine. As a “Star Wars” fan, it’s hard to find people that I can really geek out about “Star Wars” with. Anyway, I digress. I thought about this a lot. I had a local wine shop, and I think this might be the solution or one of them — but I don’t know, this one feels right. If you have a local wine shop that you trust — a place you’ve been going to where the people that work there help you out — and they have weekly wine tastings, go to those weekly wine tastings. Talk to the people at the shop and talk to the people that are tasting along with you because those people are in your community. If those people are going to a wine shop for a tasting just like you are, they might have the same interests that you do and you can network through there and start a tasting group. Or you can even suggest to the wine shop to do one or see if the wine shop does a tasting group as well. That way, you can inject yourself into the people in your community that are really passionate about wine. To avoid snobs, it’s very easy. If you’re talking to somebody, and you feel they’re snobbing out, don’t listen to them.

How can I level up my nose? I can smell basic things, but it’s hard to place a name on many things.

OK, this goes back to Season 1, but I’m happy to revisit this. Your brain and nose in a glass of wine is a personal experience, right? The whole idea of wine is it’s this beautiful natural phenomenon that gives off all these wacky aromas. Some of the aromas are classic and are tied to certain varieties such as Pinot Noir with cherries and mushrooms. With Merlot, it is sometimes blueberries. Beyond that, it can get subtle, especially as wine ages and goes into the tertiary aromas, which I talked about in Season 1. A lot of people in our industry will tell consumers to go to the produce section of a supermarket or a farmer’s market and buy a bunch of fruits and vegetables, cut them up, stick them in your nose, smell them, and then you will have a sense of different vegetables and fruits that you get in wine. I have never done that.

When I was coming up in wine, I had my way of doing it. However, you can do that and it works. Once you smell something, it’s in your mind. For example, a particular white wine has a scent or has a hint of sweet corn because you smelled it and it’s real. For me, it stressed me out doing all that. It was a lot of work, and I just wanted to enjoy wine. So what I do and what I’ve done throughout my entire career, is just sip, enjoy, and smell. If I try to draw something from the wine, it’s right or it’s wrong, but it’s something that I smell.

I also enjoy the power of suggestion. If someone says a wine smells like something and I didn’t know that until they said it I would say, “Oh, cool, it does smell that way.” It’s never a competition. Wine should be enjoyed. If you want to level up your nose, you can do some work and go to the produce market and do it that way, or you can just continue to enjoy wine. Then, if you experience different aromas in your life and you experience them in wine, awesome. But what it really comes down to is enjoying the wine.

Why is extra dry sparkling wine sweet, and dry still wine is not?

I get into this in the sparkling wine episode, but the term “extra dry” is part of a dosage regime that is pretty much globally agreed upon. To say “extra dry” in a sparkling wine means there is an addition of 12 to 17 grams of sugar per liter added to the wine. Even though it’s going to be a little bit sweeter because of the addition of this sugar syrup, it’s still going to be drier than the even sweeter levels beyond it. It’s confusing, but I go over it in the sparkling wine episode. When a still wine is considered dry, what that means is that there are drying effects on the palate from the wine. So sometimes if the wine has a higher acid and not enough fruit, it’s going to be drying. If a wine has a lot of tannin, it’s going to be drying, and what’s happening is your palate is perceiving more drying perceptions than anything else. Therefore, you perceive that wine to be dry, so that’s how that works.

What is the effect of elevation on wine?

This is a very awesome question with a complicated answer. I hope to have an episode that involves this at some point because it’s complicated but there are some generalities you can pull from elevation. The higher the elevation, the poorer the soil. If there are hills and mountains with runoff, you’re not going to have a lot of vegetation up there. You’re already going to have harsh soils, and because of the elevation, it’s going to be a little bit cooler, so the vines are going to do what they want to do. It is going to be in the harsh soils, which it wants. It’s going to be a cooler situation, so you’re going to get more acidity, hopefully, in your variety during the growing season. Also, you are up in a higher elevation, so you have a ton of sun exposure, more so than you would down in the valley. At a higher elevation, there is a more moderating sun exposure than in the valley, where there is more fertile soil and more competition for the vine. That’s a quick riff, but at some point, we’re going to dig deep into the soil on that one.

What is natural wine?

OK, there is no official definition for natural wine. Everybody has their own thing about natural wine and what they think is a natural wine, but because the trend is so intense and because it has gained such exposure and popularity, there’s a style emerging from this trend. But there is no such thing as “natural wine.” It doesn’t make any sense because wine is natural. Fermentation is nature — it’s all-natural. There’s an article written recently by Jamie Goode for VinePair. He’s from the U.K., and he wrote an article called “Are We Entering a Post-Natural Wine Era?” He talks about witnessing the emergence of this trend in France where these wine bars are being supplied by these winemakers that were making wine in a style that was using pre-modern wine techniques and technology in that they were throwing it all to chance. They thought, “Let’s see if we can make a wine with the least intervention we can.”

In the vineyard, you let your vines grow with weeds, and then in the winery, you allow whatever yeast is in the air to eventually make its way into the vat and start the fermentation process, whether it takes a day, a week, or two weeks or a month. In addition to that, no matter how long it takes for that to start, we will not shock anything with CO2. That’s just not going to happen. So if there are Brettanomyces in the vat, then so be it. It’ll be there when we put it into the barrel. If there are Brettanomyces in the barrel, so be it. It’ll be there when we do it. This wine is being made with the lowest intervention possible, and this is considered as natural a wine as it can be.

The result is a wine that is infected with things like Brettanomyces and volatile acidity and other bacteria. As I said in the wine faults episode, we know what Brettanomyces does after the beneficial yeast dies. It keeps on eating the sugar, reduces the fruit level of the wine even more, and adds these compounds that give smoke and mouse pelt and all these other aromas to a wine. Whether the wine is made from Pinot Noir, Merlot, or a Cab Franc, these compounds are going to exist. A Pinot Noir made like this is going to have smoke and mouse pelt. A Merlot made like this is going to have smoke and mouse pelt because we’re not protecting the wine. We’re letting the wine battle on its own, and in that way, people consider that natural.

We have certifications like the organic certification or the Demeter certification for biodynamic practices, which is a whole episode we could get into. Those are there to help winemakers make wine in a more natural way while still maintaining the varietal character of the wine. If you see organic or biodynamic — it’s called Demeter certification for biodynamic — and the wine tastes like regular wine, you know that the wine was made sustainably, but the winemaker tried to maintain the inherent characteristics of the varieties which they’re making the wine from. In the “natural wine community,” they go beyond all that. They say, “Look, we’re going to just let this wine exist and make itself. Whatever happens, happens. Then, we’re going to bottle it and we’re going to give it to you. We’re going to tell you that it is as natural a wine as has ever been made.”

Now the thing is, Franzia is wine. “Natural wine” is also wine. When grapes are crushed and fermented, they become wine. It’s up to us humans or winemakers to decide what they want to do. Do they want to protect the winemaking process, or do they want the winemaking process to survive on its own and see what comes of it? That latter one is what is becoming known as “natural wine.” This trend has evolved, morphed, and mutated in different ways, so it’s always going to change. Every time you ask somebody about natural wine, they’re going to tell you something different. However, this is what I see as the emerging trend.

Well, that was a lot of riffing. I hope that was enjoyable. I had fun doing it, and I hope you guys had fun, too. And guys, next week is the season finale of Season 2. Wow. See you guys next week.

@VinePairKeith is my Insta. Rate and review this podcast wherever you get your podcast from. It really helps get the word out there. And now for some totally awesome credits.

“Wine 101” was produced, recorded, and edited by yours truly, Keith Beavers, at the VinePair headquarters in New York City. I want to give a big ol’ shout-out to co-founders Adam Teeter and Josh Malin for creating VinePair. And I mean, a big shout-out to Danielle Grinberg, the art director of VinePair, for creating the most awesome logo for this podcast. Also, Darbi Cicci for the theme song. Listen to this. And I want to thank the entire VinePair staff for helping me learn something new every day. See you next week.

Ed. note: This episode has been edited for length and clarity.

The article Wine 101: Listener Episode appeared first on VinePair.

Via https://vinepair.com/articles/wine-101-listener-episode/

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Hey everyone. Welcome back. In a break with tradition I expanded this year’s playlist well beyond the 80 minute limit of a CD.  in addition, and let’s be honest here, I did have some extra time on my hands to listen to music in 2017. So for your listening (and reading ) pleasure I present 1 hour and 50 minutes of the good stuff from the past year. I know, I know, it’s a lot. So is this blog for anyone who actually tries to read it. I’ll promise to try and get it back under control next year, but in the meantime…. enjoy! PS- Click on the bold type below for the music, extras and surprises.

Ride with Me- The Mavericks My theme song for 2017. This year was all about travel and figuring out what I was going to when I grow up. I checked ALL the boxes on the travel end, while the latter remains a work in progress. As the year began and I found myself “unencumbered”, I literally told Noreen to keep her bags packed. A few weeks later the always dependable Mavericks echoed my thoughts with this tune singing: “I gotta go… a whole world to see. So pack your bags up baby, Come along and ride with me “. And ride we did. From Havana to The Grand Canyon, Tokyo to Tel Aviv,  Motown to Muscle Shoals and many places in between, It was trains, planes, and automobile’s across thousands of miles with Noreen and as well as some good friends. It was nothing but good times, and I was so grateful for the opportunity.

No Particular Place To Go- Chuck Berry In 1973 a concert film entitled “Let The Good Times Roll” was released. It was a document of the then popular Richard Nader Rock & Roll revival shows that filled Madison Square Garden regularly. The film featured performances by Bo Diddley, Little Richard, Fats Domino, The Shirelles, and Chuck Berry. It was an era of great popularity for the vintage rock sounds of the 50′s. American Graffiti, Happy Days, Sha Na Na, and even The Beach Boys had helped usher in a “oldies” music revival. It was “retro” and” throwback” before  anyone coined those terms. And it proved that music that was once considered disposable as well as the exclusive domain of pimply teenagers had true enduring appeal. At the time Chuck Berry was riding the wave of his somewhat regrettable “My Ding A Long” novelty single. That song, as well as the 50’s/60’s revival in general is probably what got my 12 year old self into the theater. It was incredible to watch Little Richard climb all over the stage in a frenzy, his androgynous image predating Bowie, and his frenzied stage antics providing a blue print for Prince. Then there was Bo Diddley all in black, strutting the stage with his signature guitar chugging like a freight train, and Chuck Berry duck walking the crowd into a frenzy, it all had me mesmerized. Upon seeing the film, I was so blown away I went back to see it a second time just days later. It was the only way to see it again back then. The acts were all well past their prime and were considered mere “oldies” acts at the time. Berry was not yet 50. (He wouldn’t have been old enough to play Desert Trip) For me, it was a crash course in rock history helping me understand and process almost everything I heard after.

Champagne Corolla- Justin Townes Earle More Songs About Cars And Girls. JTE covers a lot of ground on this outing. He’s 8 albums into his career, and stepping out of the long shadow of his father. 

How to Boil An Egg- Courtney Barnett One off single from Australian singer songwriter making her return to the list. More messy, jangly musings on Millenial angst. She returned later in the year with a full length album with in partnership with Kurt Vile.

On The Rock- Bash & Pop Speaking of jangly and messy, Replacement Tommy Stinson delivers one of my favorite songs of the year. Good fun.

Bad Art and Weirdo Ideas (Quiet Slang)- Beach Slang The original version of this song appeared on the songs/15 list. James Alex the band’s leader starting touring under the moniker Quiet Slang last year. This EP contains some remakes as well as covers recorded in a “Quiet Slang” setting that includes strings. I loved this song the first time around, and even more so now.

Slow Me Down- Jess Ware  This year’s model. Yet another of the UK’s seemingly endless supply of soulful female vocalists. I love a good torch ballad.

Brand New Me- Aretha Franklin and The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra I’m normally suspect of these types of projects. Too gimmicky. Messing with these seminal records borders on sacrilege, But it being Lady Soul, along with some of my very favorite songs I gave a listen. Pairing classic Aretha vocals with brand new backing from London’s Royal Philharmonic Orchestra  these reboots seem to reach for something else. Imagine them as part of an Aretha Franklin Broadway jukebox musical or the lush soundtrack to an Aretha biopic.  And while this particular cut doesn’t have the low key swing of the original, it does have it’s own big, brassy charm. Cinematic orchestration aside, these Aretha vocals remain stone cold classics in any settings. 

At The Breaking Point- Zeshan B Remarkable debut from an Indian Muslim soul singer out of Chicago. The album, recorded in Memphis, is a mixture of obscure R&B , and retro feel originals expertly capturing a mid sixties soul vibe. Sung in three different languages , including Punjabi, the disc also features a great rendition of George Perkins Civil rights song “Cryin In The Streets”

Feeling Alive- Earl St. Clair This young man from Alabama delivers a positive and upbeat message in a modern R&B setting. Plus, I am totally down with the sentiment: “My friends say I should live a little, gotta say yes more”. From his gospel influenced singing to the fiddle heard near the end, their are echos of the deep south felt throughout.

Sweet Love- Wizkid Slinky exotic riddims from this Nigerian hip hop artist

Skin and Bone- Phil Cook I don’t know much about this guy. From north Carolina by way of Wisconsin. His previous record (this was a one off single) was mostly performed in an acoustic country blues/gospel vein. This track reminds me of a late era Sly Stone groove meeting conscious hip hop. The message is right on time, so “clap your hands”.

Birds Of A Feather, We Rock Together- Vulfpeck Vulpeck are back with all their funky, eclectic, quirky charm intact. You not be be able to get the title refrain out of your head after hearing it once. 

Brutal- the Expanders “Man say it brutal out deh”. Perfect description for the world at large in 2017. This Southern California unit specializes in rekindling the spirit of 70’s roots reggae, specifically the unique sounds of the eras classic vocal trios. This is a faithful remake of the Itals track from 1981. Original Ital Ronnie Davis died earlier this year. 

Ladies Nite- Bootsy Collins It’s ladies night in America folks. Bootsy always knows what time it is. O.G.Funk style.

My Old School- Steely Dan (Walter Becker) When I got to college in the fall of 1977, Steely Dan’s Aja was just about to hit record shops. It was an immediate smash upon being released. Prior to that release I knew their pop hits, but not the LP’s to a large degree. I really loved Aja. I was a big jazz funk fan and it had a lot of that influence. Later that school year, during the blizzard of 78, I have vivid memories of that record blasting from nearly every dorm room stereo and radio as we were cooped up for days on end. My next door neighbor in the dorm (from Worcester/“"Woostah" Mass) was a true Steely Dan fanatic. He considered Aja a bit of a sell out on their part.  He insisted I listen to the 5 albums in their catalogue that proceeded it. So I did, borrowing from his collection one LP at a time. I liked them all, especially the magnificent Katy Lied. But the song that always stayed with me was My Old School. A funky (and and not a bit bitter) anthem with a blast of horns straight from E Street topped off with an unforgettable sing a long chorus. As of this printing the Becker estate is now suing Fagen. California might fall into the sea just yet, and but no one is gong back to their old school.

Heart Of The City- Los Straitjackets In 17 years I’m not sure I’ve ever included a rock instrumental. Los Straitjackets remain the premier purveyors of that long forgotten genre. On their latest the band tackle’s the great Nick Lowe’s canon. Super rockin fun all the way through.

Jackpot- Nikki Lane Stylish Nashville rebel with a great voice, rolls the dice and comes with a twangy and rocking winner

A Little Pain- Margo Price A slice of country soul heaven from alt country’s it girl.

Living In The City- Hurray For The Riff Raff On her latest outing band leader Alynda Lee Segarra embraces her Bronx bred Hispanic roots moving ever so slightly away from the alt country sound of previous albums. This track splits the difference nicely. 

Here Comes My Girl- Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers I vividly remember both the first time I saw Tom Petty perform, as well as the last time. The first was in Madison Square Garden as part of a tremendous line up at one of The No Nukes Shows headlined by Bruce Springsteen. The under card was pretty strong that night. Bonnie Raitt, Peter Tosh, and Gil Scott- Heron. I was a fan of all the acts and had seen them all play live, save Petty. I was not sure what to expect from Petty that night. At that time he had three songs garnering airplay and scratching the Top 40. There was the Byrds like “American Girl”, the AOR ready “Breakdown”, and the taught, urgent energy of  “I Need to Know”. That track had me wondering if The Heartbreakers might just be another skinny tie band. In addition there was the slight confusion because punk rocker Johnny Thunders band was also named The Heartbreakers . So I wasn’t exactly sure what I was about to see. His short dispelled any notions of a the act being new wave flash in the pan. It was clear Petty was more straight ahead rock classicist. The release of Damn The Torpedoes just a few weeks later would confirm that. Petty had arrived and was thrust onto the charts and into the big leagues. I was never a huge fan. I loved the best albums and ignored the others. I never found him a great live performer, but always left his shows happy. The songs were great and the band was top notch. Somehow despite his nuanced low key approach he became an unlikely MTV video star. He made continually great clips and they dominated the channel. Despite that, he never did promotions and contests, was rarely interviewed, and his managers did not work us nearly as much as his superstar peers. He toured regularly and always seemed to have a clip in rotation. He was the every man rock star, not bigger than life, not overly political, just writing great songs, hanging with The Wilbury’s and doing his thing. It felt like he was was always there, but he never was. A huge star, yet somehow in the shadows. Hence I rarely ever came face to face. My one memory is standing on stage at Live Aid next to him, and then Heartbreaker drummer Stan Lynch as they waited like anxious school boys to see the reunited Led Zeppelin. They could not have been more excited, anxiously awaiting the set to begin. The band hit the stage and started too play. It was a disaster, just awful. Half way through the second song Petty threw Lynch a sour look. In a flash they were gone, back to the artist compound. They could not bear to watch. I saw Petty perform for the last time just ten days before he passed. I was in the first row at The Hollywood Bowl. Early on I remarked to my wife “He doesn’t look good” (although truthfully, did he ever?). His energy seemed good, and his demeanor upbeat, but he was pasty and wan. He stumbled crossing the stage a few times, took some quiet puff of a cigarette hidden on the drum riser. And he was doing a weird thing with his mouth/lips/teeth. But honestly my reaction was not unlike running into a friend you haven’t seen in a bit where they did not look their best. Like everyone else, I was shocked when I heard the news. When all is said and done for me, it was the songs. Lyrics clear and concise, monster melodic hooks, classic influences and great production.  Petty had a chip on his shoulder for sure, but it fueled the hope, ambition, and longing in his best songs and allowed him to achieve pop perfection over and over.

Gentle On My Mind- Glen Campbell 1968. I listened to what ever WABC played on the radio. Around that time there were three sappy and saccharine pop hits that always managed to make my cynicism free, nine year old heart ache with melancholy. The country soul of “O.C Smith’s. “Little Green Apples”, the maudlin mush of Bobby Goldsboro’s “Honey”, and the gorgeous,”Gentle on My Mind”. 1968 turned dark quickly with the assassination of Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy, the simmering controversy around the Vietnam War, and a divisive presidential election. The bright sunlight of The Summer Of Love disappeared as quickly, as did this type of 60′s pop (and psychedelia for that matter). Campbell continued to write mainstream and country hits, star in his own prime tine TV series (”Hello, I’m Glen Campbell!”), and later become tabloid fodder with his drama and drug fueled marriage to country bad girl Tanya Tucker. All of this conspiring to obscure the fact that he was a truly a tremendous songwriter and performer. I was moved recently watching the heartbreaking documentary “I’ll Be Me” which chronicles his battle with Alzhiemers on his final tour. Its well worth a watch and adds to the story of this somewhat overlooked legend.

Tupelo- Jason Isbell and The 400 Unit Beautiful ballad from the ex Drive By Trucker. A great album overall as well.

Transformation- Van Morrison If this sounds familiar, that’s probably the point. This track echoes back to Van’s great mid 70′s albums. It’’s smothered in enough tupelo honey, crazy love and  celtic soul to turn on your electric light and send you into the mystic. I’m gonna guess you’re all ok with that.

Midnight Rider- Allman Brothers Band  (Greg Allman) CLICK HERE for my earlier Greg Allman post (REVISED AND UPDATED)

Find Yourself- Lukas Nelson and The Promise of The Real Willie’s son and band fresh off the road deliver a promising set. This southern soul track recalls classic’s like William Bell’s “I Forgot to Be Your Lover”, and Delaney and Bonnie’s version of “Everybody Loves A Winner. That plus the pedigree gets my interest. Willie clearly raised him right.

 What Would I Do- Lizz Wright The elegant and soulful Lizz Wright delivers plenty of grace on her latest set of well chosen covers like this Ray Charles gem.

Have You Heard Anything From The Lord Today- Cody Chestnutt Elusive and genre hopping Cody Chestnutt returns with only his fifth album in over 15 years.  Better known within the industry than out, he always delivers something interesting. This time it’s a little bit of a little bit of faith.

Not Dark Yet- Shelby Lynne& Alison Moorer Two of country’s finest voices, and sisters, finally team up for an entire album. This is one of my very favorite latter day Dylan tunes, and they sing it beautifully. I was haunted by their version the very first time I heard it and have played it quite a bit since. I’ve always interpreted the lyrics to be the final reflections of someone getting ready to meet their maker. As 2017 brought some very tough days, there were times I couldn’t help thinking of it as a reflection of the state of our union and the planet. “It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there” I thought to myself once too often. Here’s to a better 2018. Here’s the whole thing on Spotify: songs/17 The Herzogs wish you and all of yours the very best. Look forward to seeing you in the new year. xo dh Los Angeles, December 2017

[nyrator]

also I beat Mario Odyssey this morning and by beat I mean the final boss

spoilers under cut of opinions of stuff

so yeah ended up enjoying it more than when I first did once I shook the Hat in Time mechanics from my muscle memory (A Hat in Time is still a game I enjoyed better but this game definitely itches my love of collectathon games)

At just over 600 Moons (which I still call stars), got every star possible before the final boss I believe, then yeah. About 9400 coins by the end, all of which I spent on clothing (I have them all unlocked as well as the Dark and Darker Sides of the Moon, but haven’t been to them yet)

Some worlds were ehh, some were nice, most Moons/Coins I managed to find by myself, but after a point when I only had like a small handful left I’d always look at a guide for the general location (I refused to spend money on Toad for some reason and didn’t realize Amiibo would also do that), a lot of times I was always missing some obvious set of three purple coins somewhere near the beginning/end. Some were obvious, some were downright dirty.

So yeah, bosses were pretty easy (though I did die a bunch due to dumb stuff but yeah, patterns were easy). Was disappointed in the Final Bowser fight being the exact same as the Cloud fight, which was only hard until I realized the timing of the hit-block-dodge-attack thing in the third phase, and going into the final fight with that knowledge made it a joke. For some reason, I did not expect to Capture Bowser (to be fair it was pretty obvious I just don’t think ahead in these kinds of games), that was fun and the music was nice.

The ending was amusing, Mario about to kiss Peach, Bowser gets up and punches him in the face, then they fight on the moon for her affection with flowers, and she just steals Mario’s ship and leaves them both behind (Mario gets on of course but poor Bowser you gotta like Bowser)

Spent all morning just enjoying the Mushroom Kingdom (ALSO SO HAPPY THE SHOP HAD A WALUIGI COSTUME, “It’s barely used!” was a great description, I’m full on Waluigi from now on except for the Moons that require outfits, before that I was Painter’s Hat+Resort outfit)

also I should go back and finish Mario 64 someday, it’s that game I only played at neighbor’s house because no nintendo consoles until GameCube.

things I didn’t like was a lot of the instant death stuff (which mostly is just me needing to get good but still), the minigame second moons (mostly just painful slog but I guess reasonable), and the awkwardness of the controls. I still don’t know how to move around properly without pressing the wrong button (aka usually ground pounding instead of diving/long jumping), and yeah AHiT has got the whole complicated jumps programmed into me so I keep trying to backflip-throw cap-dive onto it kind of combos and they usually end up being button mashing that almost works but I lose control and they fail (notably my original solution to getting a Moon in Luncheon, where I put two Goombas together, got a Hammer Bro, jumped on the Goombas, jumped out of the Hammer Bro, threw my cap at the wall, jumped on it, and tried reaching the platform above). I almost had it my first try but I jumped the wrong direction and missed the platform, and every future attempt failed (then I realized cannons unlocked and you just shoot yourself over it and land on it)

But yeah, overalll...

Cap Kingdom- Small, but best aesthetic and music, favorite world I think, just wish it had more to it.

Cascade Kingdom- Okay/10. Basic green starting world, not much to say, not a fan of jungle/dinosaur aesthetics personally

Sand Kingdom- Kingdom that got me feeling the game, spent a looot of time exploring it, even though it was just a desert. It had sheep and that was nice, one of the better worlds for sure.

Lake Kingdom- Worst Kingdom in the game, so disappointing after Sand Kingdom. I figured it’d be a half world because of the split path thing, but then Wooded absolutely blew it out of the water (no pun intended), but yeah, tiny, mostly just swimming a small area, and could’ve easily been combined with the other water world.

Wooded Kingdom- One of the better worlds, also had the best music as well in certain sections (not as enjoyable as Cap but still great). Main complaint is that bottom layer of the woods, though I might’ve missed a beat of dialogue that explained it, since I had no idea it was there without a guide (especially since I’ve died several times falling off the side trying to do certain platforming on spinning wheels near the secret garden). I liked the extendo guys though.

Cloud Kingdom- Just a boss world from what I saw.

Lost Kingdom- Hooo boy, this is when it started to get a little frustrating, but not too bad. Caterpillars were fun, probably best capture thing. Too much poison/10, poison is awful and instant death.

Metro Kingdom- Mannn that Sim language. Was enjoyable, definitely a weird aesthetic clash (which is intentionally most of the game but still), and also Mario in a tank in a stormy city under siege is something I never expected from a Mario game. Though it also had my least favorite minigame so far... jump rope. By some miracle I got to 103 and never again.

Snow Kingdom- Small, basic, overworld was nice but average. The racing second round was hell.

Seaside Kingdom- Up there, definitely much better than Lake Kingdom and should’ve been combined with it, but mannn it is just hard to explore all that water and probably the one I used a guide the most with because of how many small missable things I missed (though only three coins, right in the sea in a depression near the volley ball court). Also, volley ball was hell as well, just not as hell as jump rope.

Luncheon Kingdom- this was a painful kingdom. A lot of this was just me “okay I’m done get me out of this pink lava hell hole”, at first it was okay to explore but after the midboss it was ehhh. Also too bright and shiny.

Ruined Kingdom- unexpected/10. Just another boss world, but mann seeing a Skyrim-esque dragon in a Mario game attacking you like the FFIX scene with Kuja against Brahne was definitely a thing. The boss refight just adding ice physics and different shaped lightning that’s hard to avoid on ice was very blehh.

Bowser’s Kingdom- ... completely unexpected/10. Did not expect a Japanese castle setting, but I enjoyed the change of pace and loved how it was still treated as a travel destination in game. Birds were fun but very painful on certain segments with metal bouncing you backwards. Felt like more of a classic 3D Mario world too (or Galaxy/3D World anyway), with the separated platforms and linearity and stuff.

Moon Kingdom- It’s the moon. Pretty bland with empty space jumping, no idea how much I missed on here but I got every Moon on the list up to like, the one on the support beams in the chapel, so yeah. Also the one moon on the cannon is like the one moon I felt was super unfair to find but oh welll, thank you guide.

Mushroom Kingdom- Great throwback level, fun little area with tons to explore, that 2D Mario section with the fading 2D segments can go to hell though- Specifically, that area with the rotating segments because using a control stick to 2D platform and having it alternate between “holding right will keep you moving clockwise” and “stick moves in the direction you’re moving, aka if you’re on the left side, you have to press Up to go right/clockwise”. I’ve died on that more than I should have and it was bluh.

in short Cap is the best and Lake is the worst

also yeah

this game has a Waluigi costume

so far I went back and got all the Moons in Cap (except the Art one) and Cascade, the races I feel are going to be a nightmare soon but yeah. Also worried about how much money grind I might have to do to get all the outfits (they all seem doable since there’s like five pieces left for me to get I think, the Gold/Metal sets and the Skeleton, but the freaking Skeleton outfit is 9999 and that’ll be the thing that kills the completionist in me)

speaking of completionist, no idea how to feel about buying moons or if there’s a limit, but there doesn’t seem to be so hm

ALSO I LOVE HOW PEACH HAS DIFFERENT OUTFITS IN HER JOURNEYS TO THE KINGDOMS, her Cap outfit was fantastic and I hope she’s still there/is able to wear it because it is a very nice outfit good job being fashionable Peach

also I have to wonder still

where is Luigi

is he on the dark(er) side(s) of the Moon

I will find out myself once I collect everything and hit up the dark side segmentss

also once I’m done with everything I’m going to get a friend to co-op with me and see how bad the co-op is because I can’t imagine how it works

[b0ggyb1tch]

Ah fuck. I can't believe you've done this. whomstsoever has sent me this ask >:(

but i guess now i gotta

pearl: if you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?

Probably Norway. It’s cold, foresty, oceany, fjordy. I’m a fan of Norse mythos but largely it’s just beautiful up there, especially with the northern lights. I’ve always wanted to see them. I’d love hiking and camping out in them scandinavian woodlands. 

sails: describe your perfect partner.

I don’t really like questions like this it’s silly. There’s no perfect partner, everyone got their own charms. Basically I just like a partner to click in some way u kno, thats why you like each other. whether its shared interests or something else. i cant put a concept of perfection on that, its unfair. Esp when you’re polya i feel.

lighthouse: how much makeup do you wear?

not much, usually i only do eyeliner and lipstick if im goin out. sometimes i get a lil extra on my eyes, maybe sum cheek action. idk how foundation and all that works.

shells: would you prefer to be a vampire or a werewolf?

awooooo i’d hate immortality.

mermaid: most embarrassing moment?

god i honestly dunno how i could pick one. like im tryin to recall specifics but its hard

turquoise: weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

there was one time i had a nightmare(????) where i was trapped in a bizarre haunted house and the haunted house itself was my wife’s irl ego extension plush cthulhu, i was trapped inside of them. i don’t have time to explain any of that but bizarre dreams related to this cthulhu plush are actually not uncommon among our close friend group so uhh make of that what you will. 

waves: favourite season and why?

falllll. when it’s actually cold, im in texas, its layers season. love them orange and yellow leafy cronch. such a nice color palette. halloween. some nice foods are in season.

breakers: would you ever consider getting married?

I’m already married!!!

seafoam: describe your ideal summer vacation.

traveling somewhere that is cooler than 85 degrees or at least some nice chill swimming that isn’t packed with people. 

rain: if it were possible, what exotic animal would you keep as a pet?

capybara!!! unless you count ravens as exotic. which i dont, they’re everywhere. but I’ve loved capybara for vry long time and i’ve known people who have had seemingly happy capybara pets.

sunlight: least favourite song?

god idk this is a hard question there’s a lot of music out there i despise

marine: would you ever consider plastic surgery?

at this moment in time i say nah 

sea glass: what do you consider to be your best physical feature?

uhhh my dimples i guess. people point them out all the time. 

storm: do you like piercings and tattoos? Why or why not?

hell fuckin ya! both. because they’re fuckin cool. 

boardwalk: who is your favourite fictional couple?

cliche goth/tumblr answer here but Morticia and Gomez Addams 

coral: if you had to describe your personality as a food, what would you be and why?

what a weird question uhhh mashed potatoes, easy going, floofy, versatile, nobody hates me for my personality as far as i can tell, and i love potatoes. 

nymph: old-fashioned or modern decor?

a lil bit o both is achievable. 

seawater: scariest movie you’ve ever watched?

this is hard to say cos i don’t scare easily with movies and really specific concepts do, mostly supernatural creep factor and suspense but again still specific. Like growing up Poltergeist freaked me the hell out. Stuff like Alien and Event Horizon are also some movies that got me the most. 

siren: in a fantasy setting, would you be a warrior, rogue or mage?

arcane trickster

tempest: your favourite Pokemon?

so I have most experience with original 150 and i was rly into the legendary birds. 

tropic: what is your least favourite thing about your appearance?

that i got hair growin outta my dang face also my butt chin

aquamarine: describe your dream date.

hmm idk dates are such a dynamic interest. again i can’t pinpoint such a thing. just any nice engaging date with a partner, either goin out 2 eat or a movie or watchin a movie or something together on the internet or somethin. 

brine: gold or silver?

silver. love that argentum.

tidal: what is a colour that best describes your personality?

something dank and purple

azure: what is something that you do that makes you happy?

talkin to or doin stuff with people that i love. any degree of activity therein. just bein around them even.

fog: describe where you think you’ll be in five years.

for sure probably in the PNW somewhere. 

coastline: what is your favourite flower?

daffodil! Anything under that Narcissus genus

shallows: what is your typical Starbucks order?

i couldn’t tell you when the last time I went was

voyage: what are your favourite names?

fuck i dunno. there’s too many names to pick faves

shipwreck: do you have an OC? If so, describe them.

I mean, I have a dozen different D&D characters I’ve written out and played? idk how to narrow that down for ya. But here’s one from a d&d podcast I play in (GHOSTPUNCHER.NET CHECK IT OUT) her name is Elektra and she’s a  wyrd nerdass synth bard and pretty cybergoth/punk and gay and likes tall gals. 

cerulean: do you believe in true love?

i don’t get this question like what would this even mean. what is true love what is false love? you either feel and know you love someone, of varying degrees and ways, or you don’t and you lie to yourself and them for any number of reasons. i guess if we’re talkin about that hyper romance ~one true love soul mate~ kinda stuff, then no i guess not. But I believe in specific kinds of strong love for people.

shoreline: if you could become fluent in another language, which would you pick and why?

Norwegian has always been an interest, it sounds cool, has lots of close ties with origins of English, more than German maybe and it’s a country I’d actually consider moving to. 

tsunami: describe a dream outfit of yours.

idk im not awake enough to give a good description but honestly like Demobaza and Rick Owens kinda shit is def my jam aesthetically. 

riptide: are you introverted or extroverted? Are you happy with this?

I’m capable of like, talking to people and being personable but I’m p introverted, i most often prefer isolation. 

hurricane: describe a strange habit of yours.

im def a twiddler and a rocker idk if stimming type stuff counts. its hard to self-identify weird habits i might have i guess. idk. im so tired of this survey please let me go

[sword-and-quill]

Replies

@cuntharidin said: This was a delighting piece of bedtime literature, absolutely! Can I say that I was especially excited to finally, finally, /finally/ have the pleasure of meeting Allan? I mean, I’m obviously thrilled to witness the whole band of loners assembling, but having had the opportunity to watch him interact as Tremere DID somehow raise my expectations to meet him in his “original” manifestation as a …warlock.

Thank you very much! :) It was a pleasure to introduce him and I hope he lived up to expectations! I’m really excited to get everyone together in the same space and working as a team.

(And I’m infinitely happy Booker survived – not just from the “avoid the trope” aspect, but I also think the narrative profits. The whole ‘must find new social radius because everyone else is dead’ is quite prevalent in young adult fiction, and, y'know, especially since this is all about finding people to trust after experiencing betrayal/some sort of abuse. From my own experience getting away/cutting ties is extremely emotionally straining, especially if people stay back that you liked and who didn’t do anything wrong – and Booker really isn’t a bad guy – but sometimes you gotta leave these behind as well, even though I’m not sure what’s going on with him in the story. I’m not quite sure how to phrase it, yet I always felt the whole “everyone died, tabula rasa” situation oversimplifies extremely and doesn’t answer the “Can I still go and leave people behind that didn’t do me wrong? Or that are somehow dependent on me? Is that a reason to stay?” question. Does that make sense?)

It makes a lot of sense! I’m really happy I finalized the change as well, for several reasons. I think you’re right, I really think you’ve hit on a lot of elements where the death was... well, I don’t want to get too down on myself, but it was a lazy / inexperienced decision that was easy to make when I was 16 and working within the standard tropes of the genre, but definitely needed to be revised.

I think the necessary core impact of separating from Booker - the result that I need to accomplish, in a meta sense - is generating the freedom for Mara to grow. To sift through, synthesize, adopt and/or possibly reject lessons she learned from him and the other authority figures she’s left behind. Her parents, who loved her dearly but with whom she felt she couldn’t be entirely honest. Booker, with whom she could be entirely honest but didn’t always agree. And Thein, who offered a haven of ‘honesty’ and agreeableness, but was ultimately using those as tools to control her.

Which brings me to the question – in how far do warlocks and mages differ? Is it a specific nomenclature within Mara’s universe, or did you chose to adapt the classification for example D&D proposes? It seems to be a thing in high fantasy to separate these supernatural professions, but I have no idea; Z already indicates that the warlock’s interests are of “cosmic” nature and she seems a tad more earthed with her, well, stones. Quite casual about it, too: I believed these phenomenons belong to a “secret society”/beyond convention masquerade not unlike the WoD, but apparently it’s common knowledge and can be discussed openly? After all, Grey’s are public presences as well.

It is a distinction in their magical styles, yes! Though the nomenclature may change. Mage and Warlock are alright as catch-all magical labels, but... they don’t have the right oomph yet. I struggle with naming, at times, I still have half of the Antehex tiers to finalize! Anyway, the main difference is their approach to magic. Allan’s style strongly prefers that you put rules on the spells you cast. You have to build the tunnel through which you wish your magic to travel to the intended result. Zory’s style treats magic with a great deal more trust and personal development. They’re more willworkers than architects and they get a lot of fulfillment out of watching the unique ways magic manifests with their personal touch. “Practitioner” is the catch-all term for people who use magic in this ‘verse.

They’re both practitioners and magical abilities aren’t limited by the style you prefer; in a lot of ways, I’m treating magic ‘in universe’ as art! People have their own distinct styles, some people treat it as a formal school and climb to the peak gladly accepting the lessons of those who came before, some people accomplish fantastic results simply by practicing on their own, and some people do magic in truly bizarre and unexpected ways. Some people have all kinds of classifications and distinctions and genres, while others just see it as one big umbrella. For some people it’s a career, for some it’s part of their identity, and for some it’s just a hobby. What you get out of magic depends strongly on what you put into it.

Now, as to the casual nature of it, I may need to put some additional effort into refining how it’s brought up in this scene. Because yeah, there is that thin veil of pseudo-secrecy, for sure, even if it’s far more permeable and permissive than the Masquerade! I actually based this on how casually my Wiccan and Pagan buds discuss their own practices, buuuuut... I think you’re right, giving it another readthrough with your feedback, I think the initial dialogue does end up being too explicit for the balance I need to hit. They can still have much the same conversation without necessarily tipping their hand to a stranger about how much magic is involved. I’ll work that into my revisions, much appreciated!

In fact, I’ve given it a quick once-over that I think should help! She should come across as a more traditional spiritualist now, until Mara tips her hand that she knows about magic and then they can open up the discussion.

Anyways! I really do love that you chose to invest quite a significant of words into the descriptive part, here; it’s just so very vivid and evokes a wonderful atmosphere and aesthetic to place the newcomers in – one fleeing from it, apparently, despite being versed in maneuvering the field; I’m generally very inclined to dialogue and I wholly enjoyed the character’s exchanges!

That’s delightful to hear, I appreciate it!! I thought mood and setting would be particularly important for this; how Allan treats his environment is as much a part of his character as his words and body language, so I wanted to be sure readers have clarity about him.

Another element that stood out was your choice to let A cry. I was a bit surprised, in fact – which is, I realize, all me, and pointing it out might reveal more about me than about your particular choice. Still, stroke me as positively remarkable, also gives a nice perspective on how significant the solitude and even loneliness which A’s paranoia necessitates might influence him?

!! It wasn’t a decision I made casually, but I... think it’s impactful, both thematically and in terms of character development.

Allan is dealing with a lot. He’s been profoundly disturbed by his experiences, he’s not always coping in the best ways, and he’s having a difficult time not taking it personally that his best friend decided to move out. Certainly he would have preferred not to show vulnerability with a stranger nearby, but... he’s only human and he’s hurting. His social support structures are practically nonexistent due to his isolation and losing a housemate compounds that.

So much of society demands that we put on a cheerful face, move along, pretend everything is alright and sweep everything unpleasant under the rug. A huge part of what bonds this group together is going to be that they can’t pretend everything is okay. They know things aren’t okay, they desperately need to address the fact that things aren’t okay, and none of them truly want to be alone yet they’ve ended up on their own all the same. If I do my job right, the story will make it apparent that they’re all facing extremely similar pain from different angles for different reasons. Sometimes they’ll be able to help each other. Sometimes they won’t. But they’ll always be nose-to-nose with that same kernel, that question of “What do I do?”, trying to answer it in different ways.

I don’t know, I just- Allan deserves the same space to express that pain as everybody else. He has a right to not be okay and to admit that it sucks. I want the story to have compassion and nuance for him and everyone else and I sort of feel like giving the characters that kind of emotional space contributes to that goal. At least, I hope it does.

I don’t want to bother you with an all too extensive comment, so I’ll speed up a little: The state of the house seems very curious – at first I thought he might be a compulsive horder, but he faces no troubles eliminating the dishes, so that’s not it! I wonder what’s the story behind all of this! Additionally I can’t but wonder how Booker and he met!

I can see why you’d think so! He’s not a hoarder, though, just struggles to get out of his own head to deal with real world concerns. It’s not easy to summon up enough focus to clean the house when it feels like the world could end at any moment and the next ritual is far more important anyway. I think that bit of characterization will become more clear as more context and interactions are given.

And you will get to find out how he and Booker met, in the story!! A tiny tidbit, though, he was friends with both Booker and Jackson, so they go back several years!

I might not be qualified to comment on it, though you introduce Zory with the formulation of “tall black woman” and while you describe Allan with the adjective “pale”, you don’t explicitly mention that he is white yet explicitly state that she’s black. I read some guides that say this is an imbalance to be avoided when introducing characters of color! Like I said, I’m not sure, I just stumbled over it.

aaahhhhh, I thought I’d been thorough! Thank you for pointing it out, you are absolutely right to do so! I received some feedback on an earlier section that I didn’t go into enough detail on how characters looked, which resulted in assumptions that everyone was white. And given that a lot of the characters aren’t, I’ve been trying to compensate and make sure everyone’s ethnicity is clearly stated and I missed Allan. Thank you! I’ve fixed that as well. Now we are like... draft 1.3 instead of draft 1.0. That much closer to the second draft!! Haha

I HAD SO MUCH FUN READING THIS. I was disappointed when it ended. WHATS NEXT. lmao too long

!!!!! I’m really glad you had fun! And I super appreciate that you took the time to read it and leave me your thoughts. Reactions, opinions, what you liked/hated/noticed feedback, little error catches - all of these are incredibly valuable to me and they help raise the overall quality of the work itself and make me aware of where I may need to pay more attention, so seriously: thank you! You rock. :)

[qweenvamp]

Netflix Review Series: Last Shift (2014)

APOLOGIES FOR MY ABSENCE I KNOW I’M A PIECE OF SHIT

Oh hey look! It’s my first sorta official review on this blog! Let’s all pray I don’t fail miserably! 

(this first little bit is an intro, if you wanna skip to the actual review a few paragraphs down, I won't be mad. pinky promise). 

As a recent college grad with very little semblance of what most would call “a life”, I watch quite a bit of Netflix. While I mainly stick to only 2 genres that the site has to offer (if you guessed horror and anime, good job. you read my ‘about’ section and know I’m an otaku garbage can. gold star for you), my narrow focus has allowed me to dive pretty far into the depths of what’s available in these categories. And man oh man, I’ve seen some shit. One interesting thing about Netflix is that it has no real standards for what they choose to stream. The only non-straight-up-porn movie I’ve ever read about them refusing to carry is A Serbian Film (which is a whole disgusting can of worms I plan on writing a post about later), but other than that, it’s really a scary, scary guessing game in terms of what you’re gonna get. I’m not usually one of those “let’s just give it a chance” kinda movie watchers. I can pretty much tell if I’m gonna like something or not within the first 10 minutes, and if I don’t, it’s immediately on to the next. But to everyone else who has a harder time making up their mind so quickly, it can be a bit confusing, and before you know it you’ve just sat through a two hour fuck fest of terrible writing, horrendous acting, and even worse direction, and you begin to question what exactly it is you’re doing with your life while staring into the empty can of pringles you just ingested all in one sitting, crumbs all over your face and shirt and grease all up on your fingers. Look at you. You slob. 

But never fear, this is where I come in to keep this terrifying scenario from happening to you! My plan is to do a weekly (or bi-weekly, if I can manage it) review of the finest, and not-so-finest, Netflix has to offer in horror films and TV. I’m mainly going to focus on movies you may or may not have heard of, as Netflix does, thankfully, carry some of the classics (which if you haven’t checked out, what the hell are you doing here?), but as I said, I’d rather talk about the films you’ve maybe had in your queue for a little while but you’re unsure of whether or not you wanna give it a chance. Because I’m sure you’ve got much much much more important things going on in your life and can’t be bothered to take the hour and a half out of your day to just watch the damn movie and get it over with. Right pringle face? Ok, done rambling. Without further a-do, here’s my very first horror review on this blog!! Oh boy!!!!!!

REVIEW STARTS HERE ***contains some spoilers***

Browsing around Netflix looking for a good horror film to watch can be a bit of an onerous task. Basically, all you have to go off of is their not-so-accurate star rating system, a short, jazzy little description (seriously who the fuck writes those??) and the movie poster, both of which can be entirely misleading in terms of what you’re gonna get. Scrolling around the horror section, the image for Last Shift caught my eye. Netflix was telling me I’d rate it 3 stars out of 5, (you don’t know me like that, Netflix), but I gotta admit, I see some sort of Satanic element like a pentagram or some shit, and I’m pretty much sold.  Reading the description, I was also happy to see that the main character was a female police officer, so maybe she’d be a little less stupid and arm flail-y than your average direct-to-DVD horror heroine. I decided to give it a shot. 

Basically, the story is that a rookie cop is given the task of babysitting an old police station that’s about to close as things get set up at the new station down the street. The twist is, she’s all by herself and has to stay there throughout the entire night to make sure nothing crazy is happening, and needless to say, crazy things start happening. 

My first impression was, “wow, this is a lot like John Carpenter’s Assault on Precinct 13, but with ghosts!” And, as I continued to watch, I began to have more and more of these moments where I would be completely reminded of a device used in another film (for example, the main character walks into a room, then walks out, turns around, and sees all the chairs stacked into a tower on top of a table. Poltergeist, anyone? And, I won’t say who, but another character is revealed to actually have been dead the entire time, but in an entirely The Sixth Sense fashion.) While there’s certainly nothing wrong with paying homage to the horror greats of the past, using these kinds of tricks over and over again to compensate for a lack of originality is a big no-no in my book, and I can certainly imagine that the most hardcore of your horror fans might find it a little distasteful. Did Last Shift 100% without a doubt do this? It’s hard to tell. The whole plot is centered around a very Manson-esque family that’s come back to haunt our lead heroine, so that in and of itself is taking inspiration from an outside source, but I do think the film contained enough creative and disturbing imagery to somewhat satisfy my standards for originality. 

For instance, there are some wonderfully tense and downright creepy scenes about halfway through the movie that did mess with my head a little, and a few good jump scares that featured some great makeup work, especially from what I assume to be a lower budget on that front. Now let me be clear, I’m not really a fan of the jump scares. They’re fun and exhilarating in the moment, but throwing them in by the bucket load does not a good horror film make. What I find most disturbing, is when things seem to be out of place, but you can’t exactly put your finger on why. Our brain doesn’t know how to register them, or specifically why they are disturbing to us, and that is what makes them terrifying. I need my horror films to have at least some of this, or I can’t really rate them anything above ‘mediocre’. Last Shift kind of passed the test. I won’t go into too many specifics, but I think this film did a particularly good job of building up the eerie tension in the first quarter or so, and had some very bizarre scenes with a homeless man that will leave you scratching your head, and also a little disturbed. 

However, at about the halfway point, you start figuring out the backstory, and things start becoming less mysterious. The film begins to focus mainly on the ripoff Mansons, and the the solid performance put out by Juliana Harkavy in the main role is somewhat overshadowed by over-acting of the “Paymon Family” who are just trying wayyyyyy too hard to be evil, which ends up coming across a little comical. The last half hour or so turns into this very mind-fucky, dizzying labyrinth of ghosts and gore, which, reading that back, sounds fucking awesome, but in the actual movie it just winds up being kinda frustrating. It seemed as though the filmmakers gave up on the plot a little, or just didn’t know how to end it, which was a huge letdown at a moment when I was craving some sort of justice for the main character (who’s actually fairly well fleshed-out and likable) or SOME kind of resolution... and I got nothing. Well, that’s not entirely true. I got an ending that PISSED ME OFF TO NO END. I won’t tell you what happened, but let’s just say I haven't been as angry at a horror movie since I saw 1408, which, if I could erase any movie from my head, it might just be that absolute piece of dreck. Now, this wasn’t quite as bad as the aforementioned film which I do not want to call by name again lest I have terrifying flash backs of how god awful it was, but it was far from satisfying, especially when things up until that point weren’t half bad.

Overall, is Last Shift anything to write home about? No. But is it better than probably 75% of what’s in Netflix’s limited horror selection? I’d say yea, probably. A good acting job from Juliana Harkavy, some very good and gory makeup, and a nice build-up of tension and general creepiness in the first act of the film are almost cancelled out by the film’s so-so second act and the lazy, messy third, but not quite. I’ll sum it all up with what my mom told me after she finished watching it: “It was alright, but why didn’t she ever just leave the damn station?”

3/5 Stars

[andrewmrudd79]

10 Things You Can Do RIGHT NOW to Improve Your Online Business or Blog

No huge intro needed for this post. Here are ten actionable items that you can do right now to improve your online business or blog.

1. Re-Evaluate Your Goals

On a piece of paper (yes, paper), write down where you want your business or blog to be a year from now. Think about the following when doing so:

Number specific items, such as:

Earnings

Traffic

Sales

Subscribers/followers

Non-number specific items, such as:

Authority

Design

Happiness

Lifestyle

So often we get stuck in the routine of just doing things that we forget exactly why we’re do what we’re doing. Re-evaluating your goals will give you the boost of energy you need to get things done, and possibly even help you realize that you need to do things a little differently to get where you want to go.

2. Visit Your Homepage for the “First Time”

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: first impressions are HUGELY important, especially online. You’ve got less than ten seconds to make a new visitor decide to stick around, or else they’re going to leave.

So, what can we do?

Role play.

Pretend to be a brand new visitor to your site. Go to your homepage and run through the following questionnaire in your head:

What do I notice first?

Can I understand exactly what the site is about without scrolling or clicking anything?

Have I seen other sites like this before?

How easy is the website to navigate?

What seems to be missing?

By quickly answering those five questions, you can easily see what kinds of things need to happen to improve your website. Maybe it’s just as easy as making some fonts larger, or taking away some annoying advertisements or popups.

If you find that any of these changes will take less than five minutes to, do them right now. If it will take you more than five minutes to do something, make sure to write it down or put it on a to-do list so you can complete it later.

3. Check and Correct Crawl Errors

<p><img src="http://ift.tt/1ICA7eg&quot; height="1" width="1" alt="" /></p> ” data-medium-file=”” data-large-file=”” class=”alignright size-full wp-image-2444″ title=”google-tools-crawl-errors” src=”https://cdn.smartpassiveincome.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/google-tools-crawl-errors.png&#8221; alt=”google-tools-crawl-errors” width=”382″ height=”191″ />Using Google’s Webmaster Tools, you can see if there are any errors on your website that you can fix right now.

Step 1: Visit Google’s Webmaster Tools.

Step 2: If you haven’t already, setup a Google Account (if you have Gmail, you’re good), and verify your website address. To verify, you’ll have to “add new site,” and either use a meta or html page on your server to verify your website. Google will walk you though it.

Step 3: After you’re all setup, click on your verified website. On the right hand side, you’ll see a section called “Crawl Errors.” The Google bots that crawl through your website keep track of any errors that they find along the way, which may include broken links, or links that people should have access to, but for some reason don’t. You can click on each individual error and find out exactly where it’s happening, and correct the problem right away.

4. Grade Your Website

An even more thorough way to check the health of your website is to get it graded by a site like Website Grader. It’s free (and you don’t even have to enter your email address like most do). It spits out a nice, lengthy but easy to understand report about your website and the things you can do immediately to make it better.

For example, if your meta data or website descriptions are too long, it will tell you (and by how much). It also checks your RSS feed, social media, your image tags, and a whole bunch of other things you should have optimized on your website.

Try it out, it’s free!

5. Ask Someone a Question

No matter what level you’re at with blogging or online business, you’re always going to have questions that you’d like to have answers to. I have questions all of the time, and I’m not shy about going to someone more experienced than me for an answer. More often than not, I will hear back from them.

It’s easy, and you can do it right now. Don’t be shy. When you think about it, what’s the worst that can really happen? You won’t get a response back?

That’s not the end of the world. It happens, and you can keep moving forward.

6. Shoot a Video

That’s right. Turn on the camera that’s connected to your computer and shoot a video of yourself right now.

What are you going to talk about?

Anything related to your blog.

Spend five minutes shooting an unedited video, and upload it to YouTube. After it’s uploaded, make sure you have relevant keywords in the title and in the tags section, and make sure to write out your entire URL in the first line of the video description. Blast it to all of your social media buddies without a thought.

In Tim Ferriss’s The Four Hour Workweek, he likes to give us exercises that we can do that help us step out of our comfort zones. This needs to happen every so often in order to make real progress and take bold actions.

For example, one of his exercises is just to lay flat on the ground in a public place, and look straight into the air. It might sound weird, but if you can do that, just imagine what you can do in front of a crowd when you’re talking about something you love and are passionate about.

Shooting a video on a whim like this will help you learn how to step out of your comfort zone, and it’s good practice for public speaking.

7. Spend 5 Minutes to Thank 5 Of Your Customers, Subscribers, or Readers

Going the extra mile to just say thanks to someone for no particular reason can make someone’s day. Not only will those five people remember who you are just a little bit more, but you’ll never know, one of them may come back and repay you somehow later in the future just for being extra nice.

Like in happy, successful relationships, it’s the little unplanned gestures that make the relationships really special.

8. Test Something

You should always be testing something on your website or blog.

Always.

Using Google Optimizer, split test something important on your page and wait to see the results. Even if you’re not selling anything, you can still test conversion rates for subscribership, email opt-ins, and even click-through rates for various links on your site.

If you don’t know about Google Optimizer or exactly how to use it, you can read more about it here at How to Run Free Split Tests Using Google Optimizer (this was a blog post I wrote in 2008, but it’s still relevant!).

9. Turn Off the Distractions

Distractions are all around us—especially for those of us who blog and work from home—trying to stop us from progressing and getting things done.

First, understand what those distractions are. Secondly, conciously make an effort to turn them off, and only turn them back on once you accomplish something and reach a particular goal or finish something that you meant to finish.

For me, I have to turn off my Twitter notifications, as well as my email notifications, so I don’t get notified of a message in the middle of doing something. Also, I put my phone on silent, and sometimes work in full screen so I’m not tempted to click on certain icons.

In the same sense, I consciously think about what’s helping me progress, and what is not. Sometimes, what I think is helping me isn’t doing much for me at all. I take the 80/20 rule, figure out what that twenty percent is that’s making a difference in my business, and I work on that.

As a great Internet marketer once said, “You gotta starve the horses, and feed the stallions.”

10. Follow Up With Your Audience

Whether you have an online business selling some kind of product, or a blog, you can always benefit by asking your customers or readers what they would like to see improved.

Seriously, if you ask, they will tell you.

Send an email to your previous customers (you’re keeping track of their email addresses, right?), or your email list (you have an email list, right?), or even write a blog post asking for suggestions on how to make their experience a little better. Remember, it’s all about your audience’s experience, not your own.

This is how I finally ended up with a website design for this blog that I love. I went through a previous redesign, asked what people thought, and I got great feedback from you, which is all that really matters.

Not only will this help you figure out what you can do to improve your business or blog, but it will show everything that you care enough about them to ask.

So there you have it. Ten things you can do right now for your online business or blog. If you’d like to help me out, please feel free to leave a comment, or retweet this post on Twitter.

Thanks for your support, and wishing you all the best!

Cheers!

10 Things You Can Do RIGHT NOW to Improve Your Online Business or Blog originally posted at Homer’s Blog