#also got my period and have been bleeding. a lot today. like a lot a lot as in had to go change tampons every 30mins

[vampmilf]

tshirt that says "worked a full shift on the 17th of may and all i got was major bloodloss and busted kneecaps"

[captainamericasmotercycle]

Hellooo! I love love love your writing, you're so incredibly talented!! I just got my period and I'm in so much pain (sorry if it's tmi), but all I have on my mind is Cregan Stark (i'm obsessed) -- so I just got this idea: what if the reader is supposed to do some of her duties in Winterfell, but she just got her period? And besides the pain she's feeling, she's also disappointed she isn't pregnant yet. She doesn't want to tell Cregan how much pain she's in, knowing he's so strong and thinking he would judge her and lose respect for her, so she tries to go on with her duties, but he notices something is wrong. After he talks to her about it, and figures out what's wrong, what if he cancels all the plans of the day just to lay with her and comfort her? And she's shocked he would do something like that for her.

I'm sorry if this made you uncomfortable, and if you don't want to write it, I understand! Thank you so much!!

love love love this... as a girl with painful periods, i just need to be held. i hope i delivered well! wc: 1.2k

warnings: crying, mentions of childbearing, mentions of throwing up and bleeding, cregan is a big softie and loves his wife, cregan stark fucks (implied)

You woke up feeling the cold, empty space next to you. You blinked slowly, trying to adjust to the light. Feeling a sharp pain in your stomach, your hand shot up to it. You swung yourself out of bed quickly, running to the nearest bucket.

Your handmaiden entered just in time to see you throw up. Rushing to your side, she helped you clean up. As she helped to change your clothes, you noticed a red splotch in your small clothes.

A tear ran down your face. You had started bleeding, which meant you weren’t pregnant. For nearly a moon now, you and Cregan tried your hardest to have children, but you can see your efforts had been wasted.

“Are you alright, my lady?”

You were collapsed on the floor, you turned your head to your handmaiden, tears in your eyes, “Tell me, speak freely please… what do you think Cregan will say when he finds out I cannot make an heir for him?”

Your handmaiden was only slightly older than you, but you could tell she was full of knowledge. She was a full northerner, seeing many winters and understanding the life there. She helped to guide you through the customs of the North and had taken up a maternal role in your life.

She came down to your level, sitting down next to you, placing a hand on your back, “You are still young, Lady Stark. You have much time still. Pregnancy does not always come easy. I do not think Lord Stark will see you any differently, he married you for love, not childbearing. He will not see you as any less because you did not become with child very quickly.”

“But what if he decides that there is another lady, a northern lady, more equipped to carry his children? What if he wishes to bed another?”

“Lord Stark is the most loyal man out there. He would not break your oath of marriage because you are not pregnant yet,” she wiped your tears from your face, “You are too in your own head, my lady.”

You nodded, smiling softly, “I suppose you are right, but please do not tell him about my bleeding. I do not want him to know.”

“I think it would be best to tell him—”

“No,” you stood, wiping the dust off your gown, “And that is a command.”

Your lady stood, nodding at your request, “Whatever pleases you, Lady Stark.”

Taking a breath you walked to the doors, “I will continue with my duties today, and you will not speak of what happened this morn.”

“Of course, Lady Stark.”

Every moon you bled, there was lots of pain to follow, mostly in your stomach and sometimes in your lower back. Recently, the pain has gotten worse, almost debilitatingly so. It was not smart of you to take on more than you needed to.

You made your way around Winterfell, trying to fulfil your duties to the best of your abilities. In the kitchens, you oversaw the food preparation. During this, it was the first time the employees of your castle noticed the change in your behavior.

You walked around the kitchen when a sudden sharp pain hit your stomach. You grabbed onto the counter with one hand, and grabbed at your stomach with the other. Your face contorted in pain and a quiet hiss came out of your mouth.

Many rushed to your side, “My lady, are you alright?”

You pushed each one away, feeling the pain subside. Sucking in a sharp breath, you stood straight again, “I am fine.”

Leaving the kitchens quickly you decided to oversee the training yards, hoping not to run into your husband quite yet. You made your way to the ground level, watching a couple small children practice fighting with wooden swords.

You watched them, the slightest hint of pain ghosted along your features. You didn’t notice your husband watching your figure from behind you. He startled you, coming up to hug your waist, inadvertently causing pain to your stomach.

Wincing slightly, he buried his face into the crook of your neck, kissing you gently. You tried your hardest to hide your pain, but Cregan always knows when there is something wrong, to your dismay.

“Is there something amiss, wife?”

You removed his hands from you, turning to face him, and kissing him gently.

“Why would there be? I am here with you.”

He looked at you skeptically, but returned your kiss.

You could not let him find out about your pain, he is the strongest man you know. You feared he might think less of you if he knew of your menial pain, you are sure he has endured much worse beyond the wall or during the wintertimes.

Your husband holds great respect for the strongest of his men, so if he found out about your inability to go on with your daily chores during the time of your bleeding, he might not think you worthy of his love or respect.

“I must go, I have things to tend to around the castle.”

“You cannot take a moment away from your duties to spend with your husband?”

“Cregan, really, I should go.”

He has never seen you so hasty to leave his side. He watched as you nearly ran from him. Instead of staying put he followed behind you, ending the chase at your shared bed chambers.

He entered, nodding at the guards posted outside.

“Why do you run from me?”

You turned, wiping the tears that fell from your face, “Cregan? What are you doing here? I’m sure you have many more important matters—”

“I do not. Tell me what is the matter, my girl.”

“There is nothing,” you stepped away from him and towards your bed, holding your stomach in pain.

He noticed your actions and came to sit on the bed, “Have you started bleeding today?”

You looked away from him, embarrassed. He took you hand, “Do not shy away from me, there is nothing to be embarassed of.”

You turned to meet his eyes, “But it means I am not with child! I cannot bear an heir and I am weak with my pains. I am not deserving to even be near you.”

He looked at you with a largly concered expression, his brows were furrowed so hard they almost touched. He pulled you onto his lap, “Not deserving? If anything, it is I who is not deserving of you. I have seen many men in my times and yet none of them are as strong as you. You are bleeding from the inside and you still are trying to force yourself to do dull tasks.”

He wipes your tears, “Do not fret about carrying our child, we have only been trying for a bit of time now.”

“But I do not want to disappoint you.”

“Nothing could ever make me disappointed in you, my girl. I promise.”

You sniffled, leaning into him, “You should get back to the training yard, I’m sure your men need you more than I.”

“No. We are going to stay here today, I will tell the guards at the door to inform the rest of the castle.”

“Cregan! You cannot!”

“I can do whatever I wish, I am the Warden of the North and the Lord of Winterfell,” he smiled at you lovingly, kissing the tip of your nose.

After discarding his duties for the day, he came and layed with you in bed, snuggling up close. After your week of hells was over, it was safe to say that you did not have to worry about bleeding again for the next nine moons.

————

taglist: @wolvestitches

[webslingingslasher]

ohhhh j new fear unlocked for everyone

yk how being on your period and leaking in someone’s bed isn’t ideal? esp if they aren’t ur bf? screw the bed - it got on HIM and he’s not my bf. he’s a cuddler in his sleep and pulled me in and I just saw🤠🤠🤠 nightmare. I’m building up the courage to wake him up rn lol. it’s not that deep but this is pretty horrific bc it’s only my second time staying over and we are very much Not Dating

*cleaning out my drafts - this is an old one!

there have been several times in your life when you've said 'this is the worst thing to ever happen to me.' today takes the cake and you'll never have the urge to say those words again.

period blood? a nuisance to deal with.

period blood on your partner? humbling.

period blood on your hookup? downright mortifying and coma inducing.

it'll only get worse the longer you wait. counting to ten, you take a deep breath and gently shake peter awake. he whines and swats you away, you feel terrible that you're about to ruin his sleep.

'peter, i got my period and i leaked.'

peter sucks in air, the words are registering and he's blinking awake while looking you over. 'in my bed?' you nod timidly, feeling awful about it.

'and on you.' it's a defeated whisper, you turn to the side so you don't see his reaction. you feel the blankets lift up, a two second pause before peter settles back into bed.

'i don't have anything to plug you up so you gotta figure it out.' you stare down at his face, he's going back to sleep?

'did you hear me? i leaked.'

peter sighs, he's more upset that you woke him up than being doused in your monthly. 'yeah, like a quarter's worth. it's a dot, trouble. wrap it up and come back to bed.'

'but i got it on you.'

peter huffs before picking his head up and opening an eye to look at you. 'what do you want me to say? do you want me to be mad? you're the only girl in my bed so if you wanna stain the sheets that's on you.'

you stop a smile from forming, 'are you suggesting i did this to mark my territory?'

'it wouldn't surprise me. it also explains the leg.' he tugs his comforter up to his chin while letting sleep coat over him. 'are you cauterized yet?'

'yeah, i stashed some stuff here.' peter searches around for your hand under the blanket by little taps. 'good, cuddle with me.' you almost squeak when he drags you into his side, always impressed by his casual strength.

'are you sure -' you're halfway through your question when peter takes initiative and hitches your knee over his hips. 'i refuse to answer stupid questions before eight am.'

'i'm sorry i stained your sheets.'

peter's dimple pops out when he smiles. 'bloody nice reminder you were here.' you poke it, he peeks an eye open and acts like he's about to bite your finger. 'you're proud of that one?'

'o-h i'm positive.' you gag before hiding in his side and groaning. 'you're not allowed to make dad jokes before eight am.'

'oh yeah? well you're not allowed to bleed... just kidding, trouble. you can expel your moon cycle anywhere you want, what's mine is yours.'

'wow. you're so romantic.'

'only for you.'

he says it like a joke but you think peter would be a whole lot less cool if it was with anyone else. 'thank you for not making me feel bad. you're kind of the best.'

'i know.' you narrow your eyes at him, as if he can sense it, peter nudges his hand under your shirt to splay his hand across your lower back. his warm palm eases tension you weren't aware of yet. 'i was about to say don't get a big head, but your hand feels very nice so i'll refrain.'

'want me to rub your tummy?' you lean forward to press your nose against his cheek. 'say tummy again. it's cute.'

'no.' 

you whine at his refusal, 'i'm shedding my uterus, be nice to me.' peter smiles at your pout. 'tummy.' hiding your face in his neck you let out a quiet squeal. 'i like when you're cringy with me, it makes me feel like you like me.'

you can see how fast his mind is working, he's hesitating on what he's about to say. peter decides to throw you a bone, you're still embarrassed from giving him a wake up call.

'my baby is feeling so icky, isn't she? her tummy and back hurts and she is being so brave.' you nod softly, he's spot on.

'so icky.'

'so brave.'

'say tummy again.'

peter takes a deep breath, 'you're on thin ice, trouble.'

'just one more time. please?' you plead with him and follow it up with a yawn, his hold and heat is making you drowsy. 'if you tell anyone that i asked to rub your tummy or that i said tummy this many times, you'll never hear me say tummy again, deal?'

your eyes seal shut, his warmth is going nowhere. 'deal.' 

[obsessedwithmiguel]

Dealing with period cramps

Author's note: Good evening, I am on my period so I just had to. Also, I headcanon that he has warm hands, and since his hands are or almost the size of a paper, why not?

Summary: You're on your second day of your period and the cramps aren't letting you sleep. You took painkillers but the it's taking so long to take effect. Luckily, Miguel arrived just in time to save you.

Warnings: Descriptive text, fluff, femreader, Miguel being a pookie bear (I cringed while writing this nickname).

It was twelve at night, and you still couldn't fall asleep. Your body curled into a fetal position while keeping your left hand on your lower abdomen. The cramps were driving you crazy, you couldn't wait for the medicine to take effect. Neither position was comfortable for you, since you not only had pain in your lower abdomen, but also in your lower back. Turning from side to side on the bed, you even went to lie face down with your knees on the bed and your body curled like that of a frog. For a moment you felt relief, but you felt uncomfortable in the lower andomen as it were. And the fact that you were bleeding a lot didn't help.

You were tired of getting up, going to the bathroom and cleaning yourself and the blood not stopping. You even felt a twinge down there from time to time. You were also tired of having to change your pads every time you go to the bathroom because they are full of blood. The trash can is almost full to the brim with toilet paper and your pads wrapped in them. You missed him a lot. Your partner, Miguel. The man you've been married to for almost two years. The man who stole your heart, the man who cast a spell on you with that look that pierces your soul. With those ordinary brown eyes that for you were like seeing galaxies or different worlds in them. Those eyes that make you nervous but fill you with a lot of love and tenderness. Casting a spell on you as if he were Medusa and you were his victim who didn't complain at all.

Those full lips but at the same time a little dry when you kiss them. Those lips that you would bite as if it were a candy. As if they were cherries or strawberries. Those lips that only you were the owner of. That hair so silky and soft. Oh, how he loved it when you ran your fingers through his chocolate milk curls; massaging his scalp as he soaked in your warmth and touch. You missed his soft, warm skin, his touch. Despite the calluses on his hands, which wasn't many, you liked it when he caressed you with love and respect. You loved and missed those intimate moments when you were both in bed, snuggled up to each other silently as you showered each other with affection.

Today, Miguel told you that he would be late. That he was sorry that he couldn't come early to have dinner with you. One of the things he appreciated and loved was how much you understood his job and responsibility. How important that job was to him. Although, there were times when you would talk seriously with him about the time he spent with you; conversations which you had already had with him before you got married. You told him that now he had someone who was waiting for him at home, someone who cared about his well-being and that he was no longer alone. But he simply told you that he had a lot of work on him and that he couldn't leave it until last or it would pile up more and more. He promised you that he would make it up to you in any way possible: be it with dates at home, cuddles, etc.

You missed his voice, since it was a low and tired voice it relaxed you in a certain way. A peace of mind that you didn't even know he would give you. You missed his compliments and the way he told you that he loved you even if it was short and brief. You missed him, you needed him by your side. But his responsibility always came before you.

While you continued writhing in bed, a multicolored portal, mainly orange, opened in the hallway of your home. Heavy footsteps could be heard as a tall, broad silhouette peeked through the door. There he was. Miguel. Red eyes from staring at his office screens for so long. Dark circles under his eyes that revealed how tired and exhausted he was. Half-disheveled hair that he didn't bother to fix. Heavy eyelids that threatened to lower and cover his vision so he could rest. Miguel directs his gaze towards your bed, his gaze changes to one of concern when he notices your state. He approaches while shuffling his feet a little. He still had his holographic suit on.

"¿Estás bien?" He asked with clear concern. His voice slightly hoarse from fatigue.

(Are you okay?)

You just let out a whimper when you turned to look at him. His imposing figure in front of you before taking a seat on the edge of the bed. The smell of your menstruation reaches Miguel's nostrils, making him realize. Miguel's expression softens as he runs his hand over your forehead.

"Did you take the painkillers?"

You nod. "They did nothing." You complained. Your tears at the edge of your eyes. Your voice reflected the pain and desperation of some relief.

"Let me take a shower first and-"

"You can shower later." You interrupted him. "Stay for a bit before you go."

"Are you sure?" Miguel asked since he felt a little sticky and was reluctant to go to bed knowing that his skin felt like that.

"Yeah..."

Miguel sighs defeated and walks to the other side of the bed, laying down next to you. You moved closer to him and gave him a kiss on the lips before turning around and pressing your back against his torso. Miguel brings his face closer to your neck, inhaling the soft and subtle smell of your soap. The hologram that covered Miguel's left hand disappears, leaving the skin there exposed. Miguel runs his hand over your lower abdomen, caressing his hands against yours. You remove your hand and he takes the opportunity to replace it with his. His hand big enough to cover the swollen and sore area. His warm hand passing under your clothes so that the heat is direct. His hand gently caresses the area in a circular motion. The calluses of his hand rubbing against your skin. The warmth of his torso was beginning to ease the pain in your lower back. Miguel plants a kiss on the back of your neck as he closes his eyes. Clearly loving and enjoying the closeness.

"¿Mejor?" He muttered close to your ear. His breath tickling the sensitive skin of your neck.

(Better?)

You nod as you sigh contently. "Thank you. Maybe you should be my heating pad from now on."

"Am I not yet?"

You huffed a laugh before drowning into his loving touch and warmth.

"Love you."

"Tambien te amo, bobita."

(Love you too, silly)

[sansaorgana]

Hi! It's anon from the period thoughts hehe! I think you're spot on with all of that! Thank you :) Any chance you can do a fic with it?

Gale w/a girlfriend or wife that's having awful period cramps/day?

hiii 😘 guess who started her period today? ME 🤣 when I realised this request is next in the line to be written I laughed 😛 because it's something I'm going through at the moment, I got a bit carried away and it's quite long for a cute little fic like that haha 🥰

I have about 10 MOTA requests to write in my inbox 😅 so please, go easy with them for a while 👉🏻👈🏻 especially that requests for Feyd are open now, too 🤩

You were laying on the couch under a blanket, mindlessly watching the TV with your eyes hazy from the painkiller you had taken. Unfortunately, it wasn’t working for the pain but it was making you feel even more dazed out.

When you heard the front door opening, you sensed the feeling of guilt forming a knot in your stomach. Buck was coming back home after work and not only his house hadn’t been cleaned but also there was no dinner waiting for him on the table. You hoped he’d survive on the sandwiches but you felt bad for him.

“I’m back!” He announced his arrival but you didn’t move. You simply couldn’t.

You heard him undressing and taking his shoes off before peeking into the living room and looking at the TV.

“You’re watching this?” He asked surprised. Well, the program was stupid as hell and you were aware of it.

“I don’t want to but I can’t move to turn it off,” you admitted in a raspy, tired voice.

“Are you okay?” Buck furrowed his brows and approached the TV. He crouched down and turned it off.

“Thank you, it was starting to give me a migraine,” you admitted with a sigh.

“What’s wrong, baby?” He turned around to face you. 

“I’m sorry, I have those days,” you explained.

“What days, love?”

“Ugh…” You winced at one of the cramps. “Code red, Gale. Those days,” you specified.

“Oh,” he straightened himself and put his hands on his hips, getting visibly awkward. “What can I do for you? Does it hurt a lot?”

“Yes, it does. Just leave me here alone…” You mumbled. “And don’t get angry at me because I haven’t done anything around the house. Haven’t cooked anything either,” you lowered your voice, a little scared of his reaction.

You didn’t expect your husband to be angry about such a thing. He was not like most men. But he still could get a little frustrated and irritated. You wouldn’t blame him for that but it would still feel awful to disappoint him like that.

“Hey, you don’t feel good, it’s fine,” Buck only said. “I can make myself sandwiches,” he shrugged his arms. “Have you eaten anything?” He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Not really, no,” you answered. “I took a painkiller but it’s not helping. It made me hazy, though.”

Buck stood there in silence for a while, looking as if he was thinking intensely about something.

“I have an idea,” he said finally. “Are you allowed to take baths in your state?” He asked and you laughed at him.

“Jesus, Gale, can you imagine not being allowed to take a bath when you’re bleeding for a few days straight?” You asked and he blushed adorably. It was quite cute how he was feeling uncomfortable with the subject of periods and how little he did know about them… yet, he still tried to help.

“Let’s run you a bath then,” he nodded.

“Gale, please…” You sighed. “Baby, you’re tired after work. Just make yourself sandwiches and get some rest, too,” you tried to stop him.

“I’m fine,” he assured you. “Come,” he approached you and picked you up bridal style with the blanket still around you. You squeezed it in your fist so it wouldn’t fall down and let him carry you to the bathroom upstairs.

Buck sat you carefully on the closed toilet seat and turned the faucet on to fill the bathtub with the warm water. He opened one of the drawers of your bathroom cabinet and hummed to himself.

“What kind of bath do you want?” He asked, unsurely.

“What do you mean by that?” You leaned back, resting your head on the cold bathroom tiles.

“You have all sorts of things here… Rose, lavender, vanilla…” He read the words on the bottles of your bath oils.

“Lavender helps,” you told him and Buck nodded his head.

He took the bottle out and you watched him carefully tilting it above the bathtub… only to pour half of it inside the water. You gasped.

“What?” He turned his head around, startled by the sound leaving your mouth.

“You’re supposed to add a few drops…” You sighed, too tired to get annoyed. Also, getting annoyed when he was trying so hard to help you would be simply unfair.

“I’m sorry… Should I run another bath now?” He asked.

“Don’t be crazy. You’ve no idea how much money you’ve just poured down there,” you let out a tired chuckle.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” Buck closed the lid and put the bottle back in the drawer. “But is it safe to bathe in it now?”

“Only one way to find out, is it?” You shrugged your arms.

Buck approached you to help you stand up but you shook your head.

“No, no,” you stood up by yourself on shaky legs. “I don’t… I don’t want you to see…” You explained shyly.

“It’s just some blood, I can handle it, baby,” he assured you but he was blushing again.

“Please, just leave me here and go downstairs to eat something,” you told him. “I’ll be fine.”

“Actually, I’ll go to the store,” he stated. “I’ll buy us some proper dinner and I’ll be back in twenty minutes. You won’t drown in the meantime, will you?”

“Don’t be daft, I’m not a baby,” you smiled at him and he nodded.

Buck left the bathroom and when you were left alone there, you allowed the blanket to fall down on the floor. Then you got rid of the rest of the clothes and went inside the bathtub, sighing out of relief at the feeling of the warm water.

You were sitting there for so long that the water turned cold, however you felt too comfortable to leave. It was Buck’s soft knocking upon the door that made you finally move.

“I’m back. Are you alive there?” He asked through the door.

“Yes, I’m about to leave now,” you answered.

“Alright. I have chicken,” he told you. “Do you want tea?”

“Yes, please.”

You heard his footsteps going downstairs as you watched the water go down the drain before you stood up, grabbed a towel and dried yourself before putting dark underwear, a black nightgown and a robe that you had in the bathroom cabinet. You put the dress and underwear you had been wearing earlier to the laundry bin and picked up the blanket to fold it and take it with you downstairs to put it back in the living room.

You felt so much better after your bath, you had to admit it. Your hair was wet but you didn’t bother with drying it. It was around six in the evening and you already looked like you were about to go to sleep but you knew that Buck wouldn’t mind that at all.

And indeed, when you walked inside the kitchen, he didn’t even ask about it nor furrowed his brows at your nighttime attire. There was a chicken with mashed potatoes and a salad on the table already, alongside the tea he had made for you.

“I bought more of that lavender oil so you don’t run out of it,” Buck pointed at the unpacked groceries on the kitchen counter. “And something sweet for you,” he added. “The lady at the store was nosy, she asked me why I was buying chicken for dinner and was my wife sick so I told her the truth and she told me women like sweets when they have… those days,” his cheeks turned pink as he moved the chair for you and you sat down with a smile.

“She was right,” you told him. 

“Oh, good, for a while I was scared she just wanted to swindle me to spend more money,” Buck chuckled and took a seat in front of you. “So, after all, she was helpful.”

“Yeah, I know what nosy lady you’re talking about,” you nodded at him. “She’s annoying but she’s also sweet. Hard to explain,” you giggled.

“And how do you feel now?”

“I feel much better, thank you,” you nodded and reached your hand out to caress his and give it a light squeeze before you both started to eat the chicken.

Buck was telling you about his day at work and you were listening with a slight smile. You would usually comment and ask questions or gasp at some things, demanding to know more gossip. But today you were just nodding your head and smiling, still listening but less attentively.

“I’m sorry, perhaps you’d rather eat in silence. You’ve mentioned getting a migraine before,” Buck shut his mouth suddenly.

“I would have told you if I wanted you to be quiet, baby. It’s fine,” you assured him. “And the migraine is gone now. The bath really helped me.”

“Well… I think I’ve already said everything anyway,” he laughed and stood up to get the empty plates from the table to put them in the sink. “I will wash them and you go upstairs and lay in bed. I’ll bring you the dessert when I’m done.”

“You’re absolutely the sweetest, you know that?” You asked him. 

“I’m only taking care of you, darling. Like husbands do. You take care of me, too. Every day,” he looked like he didn’t understand why you were so grateful and it was making him even more special.

And he didn’t even know.

You wondered if his heart was truly so pure that he had no idea how other men could treat their wives. Whenever someone would mention some dreadful story of this sort, Buck would always widen his eyes as if he found it hard to believe. Perhaps he was truly that innocent and oblivious. Or he just couldn’t imagine being so cruel. Either way, he was a gem.

“I just love you so much,” you whispered, getting emotional. Most likely from the hormones.

“I love you, too,” he answered, a bit surprised. “Go upstairs, baby. Do you want me to carry you?”

“No, I will manage,” you stood up and kissed his cheek before leaving the kitchen.

In fact, you’d love him to carry you. But you didn’t want to bother him too much. So you just went to the bedroom and then you sighed at the sight of the freshly put white sheets. You had changed them in the morning, stupidly forgetting about your period coming soon.

With a grunt, you started to take them off. Your moves were slow and when Buck joined you upstairs, you were almost done.

“What are you doing?” He widened his eyes and put the tray he had been holding in his hands down on the vanity table.

“I put them on this morning but I have to change them now. I don’t want to stain them with blood,” you explained.

“You should have waited for me, I’ll do that,” Buck approached you and took the sheets from your hands. “Give that to me.”

“Buck, you’re a sweetheart, but I’m not dying or sick. I can do that, really,” you tried to assure him. “It’s not like it’s my first time having those days,” you explained, carefully avoiding the word period around him because you could only imagine how uncomfortable it would make him feel.

“You can help,” he agreed. “Give me the sheets you want me to put on,” he pointed to the wardrobe with his chin and you rolled your eyes before opening it and handing him the dark navy blue sheets. He gave you back the white ones and you folded them before putting them back.

When the bed was made, you sat under the cover and rested on the pillow. Your husband placed the tray in front of you and you smiled at the sight of a cake and some ice cream.

“Is it alright?” Buck asked.

“Yes, yes, it is,” you nodded with a smile and started to eat.

“By the way, I’m totally getting you a dishwasher,” he sighed as he sat on the edge of the bed and caressed your wet hair.

“Are you crazy? They're expensive!” You protested.

“But it’s going to make your life easier,” Buck pinched your cheek playfully. “You can’t say no, by the way, I’ve already made my decision.”

You didn’t say anything then and just finished eating as he watched you with admiration in his eyes. You offered him a few bites and he agreed to take them but most of the dessert was yours to eat on your own. When you were finished, you laid down, ready to take a nap. Buck took the tray from the bed and leaned in to place a kiss upon your forehead.

“Sweet dreams, baby,” he whispered softly.

“Well, then, my dreams better be of you,” you smiled at him lovingly, “if you want them to be sweet.”

Buck winked at you and went back downstairs to take the tray down. You were starting to fall asleep by the time he was back to lay down next to you and hold you close, making you feel loved and taken care of.

MASTERLIST || BUCK MASTERLIST

[cookinguptales]

frank discussion of gynecological issues and frustrations with OBGYNs (especially re: chronic illness) under the cut, but I guess also potentially useful information for people who want to hear about it

so... some of you might remember when I was going to OGBYNs a little while ago. I have endometriosis and PMDD diagnoses, so going to OBGYNs isn't exactly unusual for me, but I ended up going to see more than I usually do.

this was largely because the hormonal therapy that I was taking for those disorders was starting to fail and I was bleeding a lot. like... for weeks at a time over a period of months. I had to deal with some... frustrating OBGYN advice in this time (such as the rage-inducing "well, women have to bleed") but I also discovered that like... I mean, I think I always knew that I had more vaginal pain than other people I know, but a lot of things hurt me so I just kind of... ignored it?

but they tried to put me on the nuva ring for a little while during this period and my body just... straight-up rejected it. it hurt like a bitch to put in, it kept coming out, I could feel it in there and it hurt, etc.

I ended up comparing notes with some other people I know and realized that my problems with insertion were probably more severe than I'd thought. like, it is not unusual for me to cry during pap smears and have cramping for days afterward. I cannot use tampons without massive pain. your body is not really supposed to physically expel something like a nuva ring several times a day. tmi I guess but I have not found penetration of any kind pleasant.

so I talked to... I want to say four or five different OBGYNs in this period, and none of them gave me a real reason for this. the prevailing attitude was mostly "oh yeah, that happens sometimes. lmao."

the best I could get was a diagnosis of "vaginismus" on my chart, and when I pressed for more information, they basically told me it was a psychological thing where your body is afraid of penetration so it clenches up and won't unclench. they literally grilled me on my history of sexual abuse to see if they could find the source of my dick phobia.

now... not to get too into it, but I do have a history of CSA -- but my pain problems predate it. I got my period relatively early and I've never been able to use tampons or anything like them. every time I've tried has ended in literal tears. again, cramping pain for days, even after the period itself has stopped.

so I get the dick phobia diagnosis from two different doctors, but one of them says she can do a transvaginal ultrasound if I'm really worried. we do this and it is uh. excruciating, honestly. thank god it was in California and they let me get high as a kite.

in the end, they can't find anything "physically" wrong with why I'm in pain and they send me on my way, dick phobia dx in hand.

today. today. YEARS later. I am googling tips on how to try a menstrual cup if you have vaginismus (prep for the trip abroad; I don't like Japanese pads) and I see someone saying "oh, I'm glad that treatment worked for you, my problems are because of ehlers-danlos syndrome."

you know, one of the chronic illnesses I have and one that I divulged to every OBGYN I saw.

what.

paging Dr. Google!!!

I come to find out that folks that have EDS, because of their connective tissue issues and extremely brittle skin, sometimes deal with extreme gynecological pain. it's partially pelvic floor issues, partially the fact that the skin in your vagina is breaking.

so all those times that I said "it feels like it's cutting me" or "it feels like knives" were probably because it was fucking cutting me. all those times I said I felt scraped raw for days was probably because abrasions take a long time to heal when you have EDS.

I cannot believe. I cannot believe. that I went into so many different OBGYNs who told me that my pain issues were because I had a psychological fear of dicks and when I told them I was a lesbian were like "oh well then problem solved" when actually my body was physically tearing. I had even seen blood sometimes and it had always been dismissed as spotting.

the anger I feel rn is indescribable, tbh. I never bought that my problems were all in my head (probably because doctors used that line on me so often when I was a kid and getting other chronic illnesses diagnosed) but the fact that gynecological health science is still so fucking awful that we shrug off pain that is the symptom of dangerous chronic illnesses as "well that happens sometimes" or "have you considered that maybe you're afraid of sex?"

I JUST

this reminds me of when I had to find out from a fucking tumblr post that vaginal secretions are made from blood rather than glands, so if you have bad blood pressure/flow it'll often cause itchiness/dryness/pain. bad blood flow like... idk... maybe POTS.

so again, it was actually one of my known chronic illnesses causing gynecological issues, not any of the other bullshit reasons doctors were giving me, like age or stress.

I hate that I'm fucking 33 years old and I still have to learn stuff like this from google searches. I still don't know how my shitty body works, and it's largely because of stuff like this. what the fuck. I'm so mad. why do doctors still treat vaginas like a fucking scary mystery?

I'm well aware that Dr. Google doesn't always know what the fuck it's talking about, but apparently neither do my doctors! which is why, yet again, I'm up all night reading medical journals in the vain attempt to figure out how to actually live my life!

ugh!!!

[staceymcgillicuddy]

#12. "Just do it."

Thank you for letting me indulge yet another one of my "fifty different ways they could have met that didn't involve anyone dying" daydreams. Mwah!

“Just do it,” Eddie says to his reflection in the cracked bathroom mirror. “Today. Today’s the fucking day, yeah? Just do it.” 

How can he do it, though, with a zit on his nose? Eddie doesn’t spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about his face or anything, but like… that dude’s a whopper. Red with a white center, and he should probably squeeze it, but if he does that, it might bleed, and he can’t decide if it’s better or worse to ask Chrissy Cunningham out with a zit or the bloody scab of where a zit used to be. 

Probably he should just pop it at home and wait until tomorrow. That’s the solid course of action. Besides, he has Hellfire after school, and if he asks her out today, he’ll be distracted, and the sheepies deserve his full and undivided attention.

Plus—plus!—he and Chrissy have been partnered up for a month on this stupid English project, and it’s due on Friday and today’s Wednesday, so if he asks her out and she says no, that’ll throw off the whole vibe of their presentation. Which, if he says so himself, is a pretty badass show. Funny what happens when you actually make an effort in school, even if it’s just to impress the pretty blonde who initially didn’t seem thrilled to be partnered with you but now laughs every time you make a dumb joke.

It’s a lot easier for Eddie to concentrate on a task when he knows Chrissy’s gonna smile and say something like, “Eddie, that’s so good!” or “I never would have thought of that!” when he’s done. 

“Friday,” he says to his reflection just as the door to the bathroom opens and some bespectacled freshman stumbles in, sees Eddie, and beats a hasty retreat. 

Yeah, that feels about right.

It’s his free period, and he was originally gonna meet Chrissy in the library to work on their poster, but she put a note in his locker this morning saying it was a lovely day and could they please work in the quad instead? 

She’s got the girliest handwriting, and he definitely sniffed the paper to see if it smelled like her perfume. 

(One time, she left her scrunchie on the table, and Eddie stole it while she was in the bathroom. It’s uh… seen some things. He’s a dick. But, whatever. She has eighty of them.) 

When he arrives, Chrissy’s already sitting at one of the four painted-green picnic tables that decorate the quad. Her hair’s in a ponytail, which he pulls to announce his arrival because he’s five and she’s cute, and he wants to shove her down a slide on the playground to tell her he likes her, or whatever.

Jesus Christ, life would be easier if she hadn’t dumped Jason Carver two weeks ago, thus opening herself up as an actual option rather than a fantasy. And, sure, Eddie gets that he’s not even remotely close to her league, but whatever. Even a first date would be more than he deserves.

Chrissy twists at the tug on her hair, and her mouth’s painted with his favorite shade of peachy-pink, lips twisting into a smile. “Hi, Eddie.” 

“Hey, sunshine. I finished those drawings.” 

“Oh, let me see!”

Their presentation is on A Tale of Two Cities, which Eddie actually read (because he really is determined to fucking graduate this time), and also sort of dug because there was a lot of war and intrigue. It’s not Asimov, but he can see the appeal. For the presentation, he and Chrissy are doing a poster depicting the major plot points, and when she found out he wasn’t the world’s worst artist, she asked him to draw and…

Yeah, he’s been making an effort. Not just because he wants to get in her pants, either, but because he likes her as, you know. A person. She’s kind of weird, and he likes how her brain works.

Sitting across from her, he tugs out some loose printer paper from the ream Wayne stole from the plant a year ago. Management would be furious, Eddie’s sure.

Fuck management. Every time he rips the edging off a fresh piece of paper, it makes him smile.

“Oh, wow, Eddie,” Chrissy says when she sees the final piece, which is Carton approaching the platform with the guillotine. “This is amazing.” 

“Ah, thanks,” he says. “It’s no big deal.”

“No, it’s perfect. And I lettered the quote.” That had been Chrissy’s job—picking out the appropriate sentences and hand-lettering them on paper she soaked in tea to make it look old. “Once we have them pasted on, we’re done.” 

“So… cool, yeah. Done.” 

Chrissy carefully places his final drawings in her folder and shrugs. “We don’t have to meet tomorrow, I guess.” 

Shit. Eddie leans forward, fingers digging into the edge of the table. “Uh. Oh. I guess not?” 

“Maybe just Friday, before we present?” 

“Totally.” 

“Cool. We'll kick butt, and then hang out Friday night.”

Eddie's brain stutters to a halt. "We're hanging out Friday night?"  

"Yes. You're taking me out to the movies."

[kaiserkisser]

OAKY GIRL DRAMA. For context this has been going on for years and i have. An anger problem so this may have been my fault

So theres 3 girls here. Girl x is my best friend, girl y is one kf my close friends that is directly involved in this and girl z is the one i punched

Basically girl x got a boyfriend last year and the boyfriend has drama with girl z’s sister becahse they had a 2 week long talking stage that did NOT last long because her sister is psycho. at the time when girl x and boyfriend got together girl z was cheating on HER girlfriend and i found out about both around relatively the same time. The problem with this is that girl z did NOT like girl x’s boyfriend and decided to spread rumors about how hes a terrible person and manipulative. I was like “woah buddy thats taking it too far…also arent you literally cheating on your gf like why do you have any say in someone else’s relationship” and she was just like “i do what i want” ok whatever

Fast forward a week or two and girl y and i have library period together (we get to be librarians for 45 mins) and we overhear some kissing sounds and its GIRL Z KISSING HER CHILDHOOD FRIEND?? that she hates btw. So girl y was like “oh shit we have to tell her girlfriend” — who, for even more context, goes to a different school than us but they all went to elementary together except for me so they knew who she was anyway

Girl y sends girl z’s gf a long winded message about the kissing and how shes worried that girl z is cheating on her. Girlfriend very understandably gets mad at girl z and confronts her. THEN a week after that we dont see girl z until she decided to start making shit up about me and girl y being terrible friends going behind her back spreading rumors. I get my cool ass dean to pull up security footage of them kissing and i Think the drama is handled until girl z wants to hold a “friendgroup meeting”

girl z is mad at me and girl y for telling her girlfriend she got cheated on. Meanwhile she is also mad at girl x for getting a boyfriend and “ruining her and her sisters lives” i stood up for girl x saying she had nothing to do with this and that she needs to drop it

NOW. Fast forward to today. This stuff has been happening for about a month now and ive been dealing with girl z calling me stuff behind my back, calling me the f slur and saying im manipulative and a horrible friend for taking her away from me, etc etc. Victimizing shit. So i call her out on it (and for a bunch of other little stuff thats been happening because i am FED UP. Particularly about her spreading lies about girl x and me, making stuff up about us cheating on our partners even though im in a messy situation with mine rn so that js COMPLETELY uncalled for, whatever you can think of shes said it)

So it was a lot of back ans forth of me bringing up stuff and her getting closer and closer to my face until i yelled for her to back the fuck up and act like a civilized woman and she said “im not fighting with a pussy (t slur) like you” so i clocked her in the jaw and her mouth was bleeding and i walked away💀

I REGRET IT IN ALL HONESTY BUT AR THE SAME TIME WHY WOULD YOU CALL SOMEONE THAT AND NOT EXPECT A BEATING?????? anyway thats the tea let me know if you want more my life is crazy😍

UHMMM HHELLO?????? DUDE WTF HOW IS THERE SO MUCH DRAMA IN YOUR LIFE WTF THIS SHITS COMPLETELY CRAZY???? IDEK WHAT TO SAY BRO UR LIFE IS CRAZY /J

ngl personally i dont think its your fault??? i mean yeah maaaaaybe punching her was smth, but she LITERALLY deserved it SO much- like bro wtf???? girl if you dont have your life under control thats a you problem stop taking it out on others 🙄 literally how does she expect you to NOT react after insulting you AND your frnds for god knows how long???? dude you sure she doesn't need therapy or something? /hj

quick question was girl z also one of ur frnds? help tho this is insanee

tho im curious what happened to her after that? im assuming she was taken to the nurse ig? and like is there any change in her behaviour or has she started victimising even more 💀💀

dude yeah you're right the tea is CRAZY i legit dont have any idea whats going on in our school 💀💀 but things like this DEFINITELY dont happen, recently this one chill dude who was pretty good at studies got shifted to another class (and i think he was abt to be suspended or smth???? idk man) bc LAST year he was being shipped with this other girl who told her mom abt it and her mom took it to the fucking school authorities 💀💀 and it wasnt even bros fault?????? i mean ppl do date and shit but i have no idea what goes on bc im not part of the 'main' frndgroup where everything goes on 😭 pretty sure the grade below is much much more insane than ours tho lmao

AND YEAH ‼️‼️‼️ TELL ME MORE IF U WANT I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOUR LIFE AND AMERICAN (?) SCHOOLS ARE LIKE OMFG ‼️‼️

[frogofalltime]

13.02.2024

i had maybe 4 hours of sleep overnight, and when i got up for class i felt really awful. and i guess that set the tone for the rest of the day.

i had 5 hours of class from 9am to 2pm with no breaks in between. i was late to my first lecture, i had to leave the room twice during lab because i was feeling so ill, and i did not take even one single note during the last lecture of the day.

i originally was going to go straight back to bed and take a nap but after all those classes i was feeling wired for some reason ?? i knew i wouldn't sleep like that so i went to get something i needed from the shops before i went back home, but i got sidetracked and then it took me ages to walk back to my room because i was so tired and in pain by that point.

when i got home i had really bad cramps and i was bleeding very heavily so i had to spend like two hours in the bathroom crying. it was really horrible. when i am struggling i often find myself relapsing back into bad habits and behaviours. and. well. i was struggling a lot this afternoon.

i was so hungry but i couldn't move until finally i managed to get to the kitchen and eat some food at around 6pm. my friends had invited me to make pancakes (at the house where they all live together) at some point in the evening but nobody knew exactly what time it was happening. i had been excited about it all day, but also nervous, because it would change my normal food routine, so i ate different things at different times to try and make it work. but now i still couldn't do anything due to period cramps, and given the state i was in i really needed to shower and change my clothes before i could be around other people.

it took me a long time to shower and get dressed, due to the cramps and bleeding and also intense gender dysphoria. normally when i'm feeling this bad i can alleviate it by wearing my binder but i really desperately need to wash it so i couldn't do that today. instead i eventually picked out a big comfy jumper and loose jeans, which made me feel less awful.

i had originally planned to play minecraft with my friends after making pancakes. however, they had already finished the pancakes by now, and honestly i felt too overwhelmed to do any gaming, so i left my laptop at home.

when i got to the house i had no energy left at all. i just sat on the sofa with my eyes closed, and i couldn't talk. i was really disappointed that i had missed out on a fun activity with my friends that i had been looking forward to all day, and angry at myself and my body for causing this situation. i know it's not my fault and i will have many more fun experiences in the future and it's really not a big deal. it just felt like a lot at the time, i guess.

sometimes when i feel Very Autistic i kinda go into Child Mode. i can't speak, or i can use only very simple words, i get upset over tiny insignificant things, i can't make decisions or look after myself, i am literally like a toddler. and i hate it so much, i hate that this happens because i am 23 years old and i should like. have a job by now. i could even have my own kids, if i wanted to. but instead i am still like an irrational immature 3 year old who needs to be taken care of by other people and i hate it.

that said. i don't know how to put into words how grateful i am for @etherealspacejelly. idk how robin learned to be so good for me. he hugged me, talked to me even though i could not reply at all, and suggested to watch star trek together, as it's his current hyperfixation. that cheered me up a lot, partly because the show is so silly, but mainly because robin's reactions were hilarious. watching someone i love get excited about something they love is one of the best feelings in the world :)

after a while i was finally able to use words again, i had an awful headache and i realised i was really hungry, which made sense because it was 10:30pm and i hadn't eaten properly and i had been planning to have pancakes in the evening but that did not end up happening.

i went home, but as i was walking alone in the dark i started crying and feeling really upset again. i was also very anxious about tomorrow (my parents are coming to visit and that sets me back with my mental health every time. i have to wear hijab and listen to them misgender me and tell them i don't need to pray with them at prayer time because i'm on my period and i am already so dysphoric that i can't cope, idk what i should wear or how i will handle all of this). it took a while for me to calm down when i got home.

robin told me to eat something nice before i went to bed so i treated myself to crumpets with nutella and also some grapes. i think i ate a lot more nutella than crumpet, but that is okay. i needed some sugar to feel better, and i had been planning to have nutella in my pancakes anyway, so it worked well with the system i had in my head.

now i am going to wash my dishes, put my pyjamas on, brush my teeth, and go to bed. i hope i sleep better tonight. i really need it.

also i am really hopeful for next year because i will be moving in to the shared house so i won't need to make any effort to see robin and many of our other friends, and if i need alone time i can just go to my bedroom and come back to the living room or kitchen whenever i want. and being around My People is very healing. i can't wait :)

[dirtyvulture]

😎 So I have had a really weird thought/ realization ………. like a really, really weird thought / realization so please bear with me. Wolverine R is Femreader meaning most likely AFAB ( Assigned Female At Birth) and that means our dear lovely R gets a period very single month. Now in cannon Wolverine’s healing factor are so OP that they can regenerate from a single drop of blood ( not the point that I am trying to make but now that I think about it , imagine how crazy that would be that R could regenerate entirely from a single drop of blood from her period. Like she has a whole host to choose from and a lot of opportunities every month) . Wolvie ( I have noticed you calling both R and Logan that and that is so cute and I am going to put a pin in that ) can come back and regenerate very single thing in her body ( including possibly all her eggs that sheds and all the other  “wonderful”things that goes into having a period ) and I am sure you can see where this is going . Wolverine was born in the late Nineteen century ( Like 1832 in one account or in some accounts 1882 / 1885) and we don’t know as of yet when our Wolvie has been born and how old she is exactly. Or hell if she is Canadian or something else.

But imagine if Wolvie has been born in the late nineteenth century ( in one of those years listed above) , the girl has had periods for literally almost two centuries and a shit load happened before pads and tampons , just that type of hygiene as we know it now . The pads that we know today weren’t invented until WW1 when nurses were trying to find ways to stop the soldiers from bleeding.Tampons wasn’t invented until 1931 and it was a cardboard applicator with tightly bound strip of dense cotton , In the 1800s it was a DYI situation up until 1880s and that was a disposable napkin. Damn all of this really made me do actual research because my Nerospicy  brain wouldn’t let this go. Anyway Wolvie has seen all of this and gone through the evaluation of monthly hygiene products but because of her healing factor she is just going to keep going through this hell forever .

People looked at the X-ray scene in Wolverine( you literally see how the bones are forced to move and shift around when the claws come out)and how wolverine says it “ Hurts every time they come out” . They are like no wonder he is so angry and violent , he is in a lot of pain very time he fights. Even when he is protecting people. I rise you one better for why fem Wolvie is like that . Fuck I am on my period right now ( yes I am a cisgender woman) and if I had to endure that for ever I would be ✨Staby ✨ too , especially to those who fuck around and find out. It also gets better because of Wolverine’s canonical  resistance to illicit substances ( i. e not really able to get drunk) I don’t think she would be able to take pain medication for her cramps so she has to deal with that all on her own.

Thank you for bearing with me down this weird ass rabbit hole of thoughts, research and  realization.

Also R would totally 💯 percent would go off to a store and get like a whole bunch of candies, chocolate, pads ( I personally CANNOT DO tampons , just Nooooo) and pain killers( these are specifically for Nat as they don’t work for R) Everything that one would need at a time like this and she made sure that she got enough for Nat just in case ( R knows about the “ graduation” ceremony but is unsure if Nat undergone it) . R isn’t going to broach the subject but gets Nat to see the supplies and keeps her nose out for smelling blood ( remember R has heighten senses and can smell blood) . But if Nat had undergone the ceremony than R would still give her candy and the pain medication and other relievers when needed ( and one can still used pads to stop bleeding wounds ) .

R 💯 percent goes and just slash up trees ( her x marking ) and things like that while screaming as an outlet for the really bad cramps. R also gets a bit stab/ slash happy too.

A...very interesting thought to have, anon. 😂

I never even thought about having to have a period every month if your body doesn't age. Poor R. 😭 But I would like to think that once she realizes she's going to live forever and face this once a month, she might have a hand in inventing some of the best feminine products we still use to this day. :) Just a random headcanon of mine now lol.

But yes. R would absolutely go out of her way to make sure Nat is comfortable if she does have a period. ❤️ Because she always wants to make sure Nat is taken care of and comfy. But yes, I agree that on her own period, R is probably seen running through the woods and cutting trees up with her claws lol.

[natesgreattakes]

natesgreattakes' nate take #2

we're so back boys!! anyway, today's ted nate talk:

i think nate's "redemption arc" would've gone over a lot better if we got to see some physical evidence of what he was feeling. i keep seeing people (mostly on reddit, i fucking hate reddit.) saying that he had no reason to be like that, that he's just a "nice guy," that ted was wrong to bring him back. and i think that last one is the exact opposite of the point they were trying to make. but even more than that i feel like the people who say he has no reason to be fragile (for lack of a better word) haven't experienced anything even similar to what he did. 

the show (or at least the conversation with his dad) implies that he was a "gifted kid;" he was the smartest person he knew growing up, but it wasn't ever good enough. he becomes an adult, and gets a job as what is essentially a glorified janitor. in his head, he has failed. 

then ted comes around, and he is thrust into a position of power. that's where the problem starts. he doesn't get any time to adjust, or to learn from those who were already coaching. hell, he walks in and sees a new kitman; for all he knows, he's been sacked without warning. i cannot stress this enough: he had no adjustment period. he didn't work his way up--he was at the bottom of an impossible ravine when all of a sudden he was lifted up to the top of a mountain. 

of course he's going to misuse his power. he was stepped on and harassed, seemingly for years, and he finally gets the chance for revenge. i know if i was him i would have a real fucking difficult time restraining my anger.

he, inevitably, misuses his power, just like we all knew he would, and everyone but ted starts to turn against him, and he's grasping at the cliffside but his palms are sweaty and bleeding from the fall. he's losing control. then the wunderkind incident happens, and the people who spent so long hurting him, along with his "replacement," have pried his hands from the rock and he is back where he started. enter rupert. praising him, giving him everything he never got as a kid and everything he lost when richmond "betrayed" him. rupert has dropped a rope into the ravine out of a goddamned helicopter, and nate sees the light at the end of the tunnel. he meets jade. he is on top of the world, bathing in that light... until rupert trues to convince him to cheat. the illusion is shattered. he does not fall--he is left stranded.

this part is going to sound cliche, but it's what happened: he was saved by love. more importantly, the love around him put him on the path to loving himself. jade and his niece. his father, post apology. the boys coming to retrieve him. beard. the people who are most important to him (and the people who hurt him and he hurt in return) are showing him love, and he's not only reflecting it back at them but also, for the first time, beginning to absorb it. 

nate is not done healing by the end of the show. that's why he becomes a kitman again: he is able to recognize what went wrong. he knows that he's hurt people. he is beginning his penance.

maybe everyone forgives him too easily. but that's the point of the show. forgiveness. ted has not forgotten what nate did--no one has, especially not nate himself. but ted can offer him a clean slate, just like he did for beard decades ago. it is in his nature to forgive. and let us not forget that he genuinely cares about nate. he still has that photo in his house. nate hurt him, but he still loves him. people are more than one-dimensional, and if any piece of media gets that, it's ted lasso.

[sparkles-and-trash]

Little post about the hospital visit and planned surgery since endometriosis needs to be talked about more and I wanna do my part!! 🤠

cw for medical and period talk!

So my main symptoms have been present since I first fot my period at 10.

Extreme pain, considering I have a naturally high pain tolerance it was rather extreme, to the point where I pass out, throw up, and need the hospital for pain relief sometimes.

I also have always had extreme bleedings and no birthcontrol (pills, the little stick in the arm, IUD) have worked.

Last year I got diagnosed with PCOS, which is another hormonal thing, but that didn’t explain these things, and so my gyn luckily continued checking me, and soon found some big endo scars on my right ovary.

The last six months ish things have gotten so much worse, to the point where I’m bedridden a lot, and haven’t been able to work.

Today I had the consultation with the doctor responsible for my surgery, and I was honestly mostly scared of her not wanting to do much, because that’s sadly very normal where I live.

During the checkup however, she found a lot, like, A LOT, more issues than we thought, a lot of endo scarring, cysts and muscle knots.

So the surgery will be quite a bit bigger than anticipated, which sucks, but at least they’re taking it very seriously, which is great!

There were also some worry that the cysts could have been cancerous, but there was nothing that made her think that today, and they will be sure to double check everything after the surgery, which feels great.

The surgery will basically be them removing the right ovary, pieces of the uterus, and all the cysts, scarring and muscle knots they can.

Personally I wish they’d take all of the uterus out now, but they legally cannot do that without trying this first, and the doctor promised me she’ll do it if it comes back and gets bad again!

All in all I am very happy with how things went, and mostly I am just beyond relived being taken seriously.

If you think you have endo, please tell your doctor or gyn.

Early discovery can prevent it getting this bad, or much worse, and help is available.

It is nothing to be embarrased or ashamed of, and a better life is possible.

If anyone has questions or needs advice, or are just curious because maybe someone you love struggle with this my dm’s and asks are always very open to you ♥️

Thank you for reading ♥️

[ciaossu-imagines]

30 favourites asks: 2,21,22 ?

For me? Again? Man, I feel loved today, honestly. Good day, good day, even if it did start with a psychiatrist appointment with the world’s most blunt doctor. Thank you so much, my friend 😊 So, my answers are:

Favourite classic film?

Okay, so this one is a little hard to answer because different people have set time frames for what is a ‘classic’. I usually go with any movie before the Hays Code thankfully fucking stopped being a thing back in ’68. For those who don’t know, I’m a huge, huge horror movie fan and I have troubles picking just one favourite, so going to toss a couple good ones out here. 1922’s Nosferatu deserves it’s reputation ��� it’s super solid and compelling to watch, and this is coming from someone who doesn’t normally love movies from that time period. House on Haunted Hill, with Vincent Price (so probably late 50’s to early 60’s, I think)…it’s silly, it’s a little campy watching it now, but I love Vincent Price so I have to include it. Plus, it’s just fun to watch. Of course, Psycho is up there. It’s iconic for a reason. I think Rosemary’s Baby might have come out just after the Hays Code stopped being a thing, but still going to put it up there because jesus, it’s amazing and a movie I love.

Favourite ending in fictional media?

While happy endings are nice and I need to see them every now and again, I also have to admit I’m a huge sucker for bittersweet endings but also for very dark endings. Sometimes, it’s just really fitting and really kind of amazing to have something end with things either very up in the air (so the book version) or decidedly fucked up (so the film version), which is why I’m giving a shout-out to Stephen King’s The Mist. The book version left everything very much unresolved, left a lot to the reader’s imagination as to how things might end, but at the same time, no matter what, there could be no true ‘happy ending’ after everything that had happened. Best ending – they do find safety but hey, they’ve still been through incredibly traumatic shit. The movie, meanwhile, went all in on the holy fuck, oh my god, ARE YOU SHITTING ME ending and honestly, I love it. Also, while it really wasn’t supposed to be an ending, it’s just that the show got canceled, speaking of fucked up endings, gotta give a shout out to The Glades for ending their show (even if it was unintentional) with their man character having been shot by someone (the person was off-screen the whole time, so we’ll never know who sot the main character)…on his wedding day. Like, the final screen frame is literally the main character bleeding out on the floor of his house on what is supposed to be one of the happiest moments of his life and that is all very fucked. Another really good weird, fucked up ending? The end of eXistenZ because really, that movie fucked with my head and I still can’t figure out if they were still in the game or not?!

Favourite shade of blue?

Probably leans more towards a baby blue or a turquoisey light blue. I just find both to be very calming colours, and as a bonus, I’ve been told the shade really suits me whenever I wear it. Other than that, I would have to say the classic Hardy Boys blue just because something about that colour always makes me very nostalgic.

[hoghtastic]

Translation of Johanne Milland's interview for Femina.dk

( Note: Translation of the available excerpt online. If the rest of the interview is released in the future, the respective translation will be added. )

JOHANNE MILLAND BURNED HER CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS

❝ I've gotten better at being ordinary ❞

Johanne Milland has burned too much, loved too much and not known her limits. Four years ago, it culminated in early burnout, stress and anxiety — a tough period that taught her something about balance.

When Johanne Milland stepped out of her front door this morning, there was a man lying on the ground in front of her. At first she thought it was a homeless person who had gone to sleep, because people just walked past him. Until he looked at her and asked, "Can you help me?" — I started to get him on his feet and looked appealingly at the people who passed by, as in: "Would you like to lend a hand here?" No one responded. Not even if the man was bleeding from the face - he had clearly fallen. This kind of thing just makes me so furious! says Johanne and clenches her hands tightly on the table. The man said he belonged to a care center in Sundby, so Johanne called them and asked if they could do something. They knew him, yes, but said she could call the sociolance (social ambulance) or a taxi, there was no help to be had there. The man would prefer a taxi, so Johanne got him into it and sent him home. She talks about the episode in response to my question about what can get her out of her chair. — In situations like this, I get a wild inner fire. I get so angry and upset when people are treated unfairly that I have a really hard time controlling myself. It is the inner fire that has made Johanne Milland one of the new great talents on both the film and musical scene in record time, but also the one that burned her up almost four years ago. So today she reins it in, the fire. She doses it. — The "old" Johanne was very melancholic in the way that I often lost myself in pictures of my life that I created myself. My inner emotional life and imagination have always been very strong and I used it as an invisible friend. I have lost that a little because I have become more balanced and less "up and down" in my emotional life. I've gotten better at staying… ordinary. Does it make you feel good? To be more ordinary. Hmm, there are some things about the old Johanne that I would have liked to have kept, but you go crazy always driving out there at 180 km per hour. I haven't responded to my limits, and when you don't do it for a long time, your body tells you to listen, otherwise things go haywire. But I've always been quite a pushover, and I've liked it. There was something safe in the fact that something hurt. Why, do you think? Oh, I've spent a lot of thought trying to figure that out! Maybe because there is a sense of security in remaining upset, if you have been [like that]. If you become happy again, you have something to lose. It's just easier… A slightly reversed logic. Yes, but there is also something in this way of living that I think has made me a good actor. Living a lot in a "state". I got burned out early on, but it also gave me a lot because I threw myself headlong into everything and worked really hard in everything I did. It has been both good and my biggest challenge, but that's how I am as a person: I run really fast or I don't run at all. I really love a lot, otherwise I don't love at all. It has cost me something, but these are the blows you take.

A LITTLE ABOUT JOHANNE 28 years old, born and raised in the small Funen town of Frørup outside Nyborg. Graduated from Den Danske Scenekunstskole - Musicalakademiet in 2019, moved to Copenhagen soon after, where she immediately got roles in major musicals, e.g. "The Bald Barber", "She Loves You" and "Atlantis".

In 2022, she played the lead role of Liv in the film "The Venus Effect", and was nominated for both a Bodil and a Robert for her performance. Since then, she has recorded the TV series "Graverne" and "Kald mig far" — the latter with Alex Høgh, with whom she is now a couple.

From March 7, people can see Johanne in the lead role of Ella/Cinderella in the musical interpretation of the old fairy tale in Tivoli Concert hall. Rasmus Seebach provides the music, Line Knutzon has written the script, and designer Søren Le Schmidt is responsible for the show's dresses and costumes.

Control and gaslighting

It is not because Johanne Milland had a traumatic childhood or great sorrows that she had to run away from. On the contrary, she was rounded off by a safe upbringing in the small village of Frørup outside Nyborg, with a mother who stood in the kitchen and baked buns, and a father sitting on the sofa watching football. — I was "the red-haired child", the sprightly, temperamental one, where my sister was more shy, I was the outgoing one, the one with gunpowder in her ass. I've always had a show gene, I wanted to show off, be looked at, have recognition. I also wanted to be the one to decide, and because I was this rider of justice, I was also busy telling people how to behave. Johanne pestered her parents for years about joining Nyborg Voldspil, and at the age of 15 she finally got ➤

permission. She quickly became part of the large amateur theater community in Funen, and from there things went well with big roles and many tours. — I really got some blows for being such a decisive ass there, so I shut down that part of myself and became a pleaser — I wanted to be part of the community. In continuation of that, I met my first boyfriend at HF (Higher Preparatory Examination) in Odense, where I went, and got into a relationship which was very unhealthy. Although I was really a strong-willed girl, I didn't know my limits when it came to love and I totally lost myself. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how unhealthy it was until it was too late, says Johanne. Only several years later does she discover that she has been under control and gaslighting in the relationship. — We didn't understand how to be lovers and look after each other, as you do in a relationship. I have learned that now. That you are a team in a relationship. He wouldn't be with me or talk to me in public even though we lived together and I was really in love with him so it was very, very difficult. Because I didn't feel okay as just me. He controlled me by, for example, deciding what I should and shouldn't wear, what movies we should watch — little things. The relationship lasted only a year and a half, but it allowed to define who Johanne was for several years afterwards. —  I entered the Danske Scenekunstskole in Fredericia and moved to Fredericia, and when I was in my second year, I told him it was over. I just couldn't take it anymore. We both got other partners, but he still haunted my life. He was a drug, I was addicted to him. Addicted to what he didn't give me. And it wasn't because he was a bad person, because he didn't even realize what he was doing. He didn't understand. How did you break free from him? — At that time it had been on and off so much, that I could finally see that it was not healthy for me. And I just wanted to be happy — I was so tired of being sad. Tired of being a victim. Tired of putting myself in that situation time and time again. One of my girl friends told me she couldn't recognize me. That I wasn't myself. You can't see that when you're sitting in it, and since then I've understood that it can actually make things worse when someone close to you says that to you. The mechanism is that if you are told that "you must leave him, he is not good for you, you have changed", then you will want to stay even more. It strengthens the bond with the person who is not necessarily good for you. She continues: — That's what happened to me. And I have learned that if you have to have that conversation with someone who is subjected to control and gaslighting, you have to turn it around and ask if that person is okay, if there is anything you can do. I myself am very careful about how I talk about it if I meet someone in similar situations.

❝ There are some things about the old Johanne that I would like to have kept, but you go crazy always driving out there at 180 km per hour. ❞

❝ Even though I was really a strong-willed girl, I didn't know my limits when it came to love, and I lost myself completely. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how unhealthy it was until it was too late. ❞

The anxiety Johanne had moved to Copenhagen and was sitting on the toilet in her small apartment in Valby when the anxiety attacks started. — I remember that out of the blue I thought a really bad thing about myself. Like: "You can't do anything, you're not good for anything." I had never done that before. Suddenly my whole body froze and I sat like that for a long time, completely in a panic. I had to say to myself, "Now move one foot, travel, go outside. You must get some fresh air. It will probably get better." Johanne had to fight outside in the fresh air, where things went completely wrong. — I called my mother and said that something was very wrong. I immediately made an appointment with a coach because I thought that this just needed to be talked through and it would go away. But it didn't. From there it went downhill with Johanne. Anxiety pounded around her body, and the stress symptoms ➤

appeared as palpitations, sleeping arms and legs, flickering eyes. —  I got so bad that I had to move home with my parents, and for at least three months I couldn't go outside the door without holding my mother or father's hand. They were really good at getting me out and at least getting some exercise so we did a lot of bike rides. But I would totally panic if I couldn't see them all the time. And if I walked alone on the road, I was afraid I would walk out in front of a car. I still have obsessive thoughts as a result of it, it's really uncomfortable. What obsessive thoughts are these? It could be anything. That I die from my work. I know none of that is true, so I have to say, "Well, that was the thought" when it comes. I got hold of the book "Your Self Healing Mind" and it and the best psychologist in the world simply saved my life and changed my view of anxiety. What my journey has taught me so far is that when you suffer from stress and anxiety, your brain is your biggest enemy, and the more you fight it, the worse it gets. I'm still practicing not taking the fight, because I can't win. My thoughts always win.

It was during that period that the film "The Venus Effect" — Johannes' first major film role — was filmed. She had agreed with her mother that if she couldn't, then she couldn't, and then it was just too bad. She had to take it one day at a time and see how it went. — I called the caster and told her I had stress and anxiety and she grabbed me right away, it was so amazing. They might as well have said, "Well, we'll find someone else," but they were so top notch and understood what I was going through. They let me stay in Funen when I didn't dare take the train, and they made sure I got some body treatments, which helped a lot. We talked about trying to use that in the film, because at that time I really needed to feel the ground beneath me, the trees and the grass, so I really WAS my role, Liv. In that way, it actually ended up being a huge gift, says Johanne, who noted the big difference between making a film and making a musical: — On a film set there can be long breaks between takes and it is very normal for the players to "zone out" during their breaks. In the same way, there is no time for that in musicals. The rehearsal period is more compressed and we have to achieve a huge amount during the rehearsals. It's also very social, so you're very intense for months at a time. It's enormous fun and demanding in a different way, but I had difficulty finding a breathing space because I didn't use my breaks to relax, even though I needed to, she says.

❝ I have so many wounds from past relationships that I can only process with another human being. And Alex is really good at healing my wounds. ❞

[joy-of-life88]

Can I love again? [a Roman Reigns story] 24 Dizzy

"So how was your date yesterday morning with your husband?" asked Alexa as I was doing her makeup.

"It was great. Like always, actually. He just knows how to cheer me up." I replied and smiled as I thought about Roman and our date.

"Why did he have to cheer you up?" she wanted to know.

"Oh um... it's just.... we were both really excited about something, but it didn't turn out the way we thought it would," I explained to her.

"Oh... I'm sorry. Are you all right? You look a little glum." she replied as she looked at me more closely.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Breakfast dates with Roman always help." I said and continued.

"Are breakfast dates your thing?" she asked with a grin.

"Yeah, kind of worked out that way.You know with the shows and everything it's always or almost always hard to find time for it in the evenings. And so it's become kind of a tradition for us, you know." I replied and then reached for the setting spray.

But then I had to support myself on the table because I suddenly felt dizzy. I noticed how I swayed slightly. So I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath.

"Woah. Are you really okay?" asked Alexa as she held me by the arm.

"Yeah. I've just been so busy all day that I've barely had time to breathe. I think that's why I didn't drink enough water. And the cramps aren't helping either. Let's get you ready. The boss is next." I explained to her and finished my work.

After Alexa left, I took the opportunity to quickly drink a bottle of water. The last thing I wanted to do was mess up Stephanie's makeup because I would get dizzy again.

"There she is! Mrs. Reigns, how are you?" asked Stephanie as she joined me in the makeup room in a good mood.

"Hey boss. I'm doing fine. Any special requests today?" I asked.

"No, just the usual. Maybe a little more sparkle on the eyes." she replied as she sat her down in the chair.

I bent down to grab the bottle of matching foundation color from my trolley as I felt dizzy again. But this time it was a little worse, as I blacked out very briefly.

"You are clearly not alright. Sit down." said Stephanie immediately when she saw what was going on.

"Stephanie, I don't have time to sit down," I replied.

"That wasn't a request, Y/N!" she said sharply.

I sighed in displeasure, but did what she said anyway. The last thing I wanted to do was contradict my boss.

"What's wrong?" she wanted to know.

"Nothing. I just didn't drink enough today because I was so busy. And I haven't eaten since breakfast with Roman." I said as I reached for my water bottle.

"Hmmm... are you sure that's all?" she then asked, looking at me in an examining way.

"What do you mean?" I wanted to know.

"Well, could it be that you are pregnant?" she replied.

"I wish!" I mumbled and lowered my head.

"What do you mean?" she then asked.

"We thought I might be pregnant. I was late, but before I wanted to take the test, I got my period." I explained to her and again disappointment gripped me.

"Oh I'm sorry about that, Y/N. I know how it feels. Can I ask you something?" replied Steph.

"Of course," I said.

"Are you sure it's your period?" she wanted to know, completely confusing me.

"What else could it be? I'm bleeding and cramping," I replied a little harshly.

"I know you've done it before, but there are also cases where it's not a real period. It happened to a cousin of mine," she said, looking at me closely.

"But then it would still be different than normal, right? And it is exactly the same for me. The only difference is that I was late. Trust me, I'm not pregnant, boss." I replied and quickly got up from the chair.

But it was a little too fast, because immediately I felt my stomach turn. I quickly grabbed the wastebasket and threw up in it.

"Okay. Whatever it is. You're not at 100%. I'll have a driver take you to the hotel. Just as a precaution." she said as she handed me a tissue after I was done.

"But I still have a lot to do and-" I began before she cut me off.

"The others can do that. I don't want you to possibly infect the others in case it's something else. And I'm not interested in getting into an argument with your husband again," she said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Didn't Roman ever tell you that? Remember the Brenda incident? Roman threatened to quit his job if I didn't fire Brenda. Oh, yeah, and Seth too, by the way. You don't work when you're sick. I'll let Roman know where you are. Now come on," Steph explained to me.

It hit me completely unexpectedly, because Roman had actually never told me that he had threatened to leave. I could not believe it. After all, we had only been together for three months. What a great man he was. Again and again he proved to me how much greater he really was.

I would have loved to call Roman myself and tell him what was going on, but I knew he was filming a backstage segment today and then had a match afterwards. That meant he didn't have his phone with him.

Before I knew it, Stephanie had already had a driver take me to the hotel. I made my way to the room we had checked into at noon today before heading to the arena. It was a good thing that we stayed the night and didn't leave until tomorrow morning. It would have been hard to rest on the bus.

I didn't like it that Steph kept me from work, but I had to admit that it was probably better that way. The last thing I wanted was to infect the girls in case it was the flu or something.

When I got to our room, I went to my suitcase to grab some comfortable clothes, but in doing so I tripped over Roman's open suitcase that was sitting at the end of the bed.

"Ouch! Damn..." I cursed, sitting down on the bed and rubbing my foot.

After a few minutes, I knelt on the floor to throw the things that had fallen out of his suitcase back in, when something caught my eye. I picked it up and sighed. Why had he packed the test? Annoyed, I threw the pregnancy test into his suitcase. Then I changed my clothes before snuggling into bed.

As I lay there in the silence of the room, Stephanie's words ran through my mind again. But how could it not be a real period? What other possibilities were there? It seemed silly, but still I began to google.

She was right. It was true that there were exceptions in which one bled and had cramps despite pregnancy. It could be either implantation bleeding or sometimes it could be that only one of several follicles was fertilized. Then the unfertilized follicles would be shed as in a normal period.

I was completely flabbergasted. And completely confused. What was it now? Never in my life had I thought it possible. Now I could no longer think of resting or even sleeping. My thoughts raced as a small, very small spark of hope flared up in me.

"Oh what the hell." I said to myself and slowly climbed out of bed.

I reached into Roman's suitcase and grabbed out the test. With it in hand, I went into the bathroom and did what I had to do. Since it was probably negative anyway, Roman didn't need to know about it. It was just to settle my own nerves.

When I came out of the bathroom with the thing in my hand, I stared at the clock for two minutes. I was sure that those were the longest minutes of my entire life. I could not remember that it had seemed so long with Eric.

Then it was time. Time was up and I could prove to myself that it was just a normal period.

I turned the test over in my hand and immediately started crying. The result was clear and yet it hit me like a ton of bricks. Time suddenly no longer made sense. I didn't even notice the door opening at some point. My eyes were still focused on the test in my hands.

"Angel? What's going on? Steph said you weren't feeling well?" I heard Roman ask.

Without saying a word, I stood up and ran into his arms. He was surprised, but did not hesitate to lift me up so that I could wrap my legs around his hips. My arms were wrapped tightly around his neck.

"Y/N, what happened? Come on, talk to me. I'm worried." he then said as he sat us down on the bed.

I pulled back from him a little and looked him in the eye. I sniffled before showing him what I had been holding in my hand the whole time.

"I'm pregnant!" I breathed as tears ran down my cheeks again.

"What?" he asked, his eyes wide.

"We're having a baby!" I whispered.

Immediately Roman's lips were on mine. I could feel how overjoyed he was, even though he was probably just as confused. But we still had enough time to talk about the details. However, at this moment, all that mattered was that Roman's feeling had been right from the beginning.

[daisydezem]

So today I turned 33😊 and its been a good(ish) day. I just wanted to vent a little bit about what else is going on in my life so yeah I'll write a little bit about it.

Triggers: period, doctor, IUD, hysterectomy (uterus removal)

In 2021 December I got the injection pill. Ever since my period was whacky. I had no period for a month and then for 2 months in a row. I went to the doctor and he gave me some hormone pills to make it stop and it did. Then the same thing happened. 1 month not then 2 months in a row (and with that I mean every day for those 2 months) so I went to the doctor again.

This time he wanted to reset my period patarn so with the injection pill I also got the normal pill. I called the pharmacy and the lady on the phone asked if that was right. So I explained and she said okay well then just come pick them up. I did have a little bit of period for like 2 weeks but that wasn't so bad. Then I started to notice myself change.

I was emotional, crying (and normally I hate crying), angry and just a whirlwind of emotions. I got my period again September 28th. A week later I had to have the injection shot again. So I asked the nurse if I should still keep taking the normal pill as well. She asked me what? So again I explained what the doctor had said and she asked me... are you okay? And I said yeah sure... I didn't want to admit I wasn't. But she did said to stop the pill.

Was I okay? That question rang in my head. And no I wasn't... I was crying at work because someone had a pretty last name, because I saw a elderly couple in a commercial shopping... I was crying all the time but the weird part was I didn't feel sad at all. So I called the doctor again and asked for a female doctor. This was early November and I had my period from September 28th. I had a lot of blood (one hour for the largest tampon was already blood through) and heavy cramps and I stopped working due to it on November 19th since I couldn't tell my manager how I would react if there was a calamity and if I would be able to guide people into safety.

I talked about this with the female doctor. And you know what she said? "I think you might be depressed" What? No, I wasn't. My hormones and period are a out of control. But I was send home with the advise to rest for a week and call in a week if things weren't better. They weren't and I called. I sat with the same doctor asking for a meeting with a gynaecologist but she just said maybe you just need to go back on the pill and to be safe (since I got pregnant being on the pill) your partner should just get a vasectomy. But that won't slove my hormones, sense of security, my bleeding or my cramps. So I begged to see the gynaecologist and final I was able to see one in December (still everyday on my period, heavy cramps and hormones moodswings)

We did some tests, I had anemia, had too much hormones because of the combination of injunction pill and normal pill and showing signs of exhaustion. And I was done... I just said remove it. But they didn't want to because I was too young. I might want kids in 5 years... I DONT! She told me to at least wait to see what would happen if all hormones from the pills were out of the body. So we did...

Fast forward to the end of January of this year. Things hadn't changed, still on my period everyday, my exhaustion was worse and the pain of the cramps were less and less doable since I couldn't power through because of the exhaustion. So I was given painkillers and it helps a bit. But they were still painful and getting more frequent. So she decided to try a IUD. It was placed February 6th.

Thise who have them know putting them in isn't very nice. It hurts... but the days after I was in horrible pain. It got worse. It felt like I was in labor. But after 2 weeks it got a bit better. The bleeding was still there but I was able to sleep and I even went to work for a few hours. Then I had a check up to see if everything was okay(mind you everytime it's a vaginal ultrasound that I went to the doctor) She checked and no it wasn't. I had cramps so much I pushed I halfway out of the uterus. So we made an appointment to re adjust it again a week later. I was with a camera, she put it on the right place again and same thing happened. I was in pain... lots. It felt like I was in labor. And last Thursday I had a check to see it it was still in place this time. It wasn't...

Now she said okay we tried everything so now we are gonna do a second opinion in a different hospital. And see if we can do a hysterectomy (removal of the uterus) Like I fucking asked for in December...

I'm pissed, exhausted and done. This year was awful. And I hope next year will be better. Since thus hasn't just had an effect on my own health physical and mentally... but also on my work, my social life, being a nice fun mom and put a lot on my partner and our relationship.

As I said in the beginning I just wanted to vent. I needed to put it down. I've been on my period from September 28th on. Some days worse and some better. Thank those who got to the end...