#also fuck you ashok

[ann7av]

Finally finished this book and for fuck sake, these lesbians are going to kill me

They didn’t annihilate each other as I initially anticipated BUT there are two more books? So nothing’s off the table yet (please don’t kill each other girls)

Started the second just now and I’m back at being STRESSED, there’s a baby and she’s precious and if anything happens to her I’m done

Here are some of my notes, full of spoilers so beware.

[punisheddonjuan]

God I hate these brain reprogramming rubes. They're always such condescending pricks, and they should be rightfully told to fuck off and die. For those unfamiliar with the "Gupta Program" here's a quick rundown:

The Gupta Program is a brain retraining, mindfulness, and holistic health program accessible via website and a mobile app marketed to people with ME/CFS, Fibromyalgia, and Multiple Chemical Sensitivities (MCS). It contains 15 video-based modules.

The program includes breathing exercises, meditations, mindset insights, light yoga and stretching, somatic experiencing exercises, holistic health advice, laughter workshops, and brain retraining exercises including their seven-step brain retraining technique. The Gupta Program also provides shorter options for brain retraining.

So it's bullshit right? What about the evidence?

There is no scientific evidence to support the Gupta Program claims that chronic diseases including ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia are caused by problematic or dysfunctional patterns or activity in the amygdala and insula parts of the brain.[7]

Oh, so there is none. What about its creator? What are his qualifications?

Ashok Gupta does not have any medical, scientific, or psychological qualifications – he has an Economics degree from Cambridge University. What are the ethics of charging for an expensive program where the therapist has no training or qualifications and there is no regulatory body to monitor or protect patients? So there is a combination of no empirical evidence and no relevant qualifications.

So it's complete bullshit. These people are essentially in a '70s style new age cult. As for anyone who claims to have improved? Well they probably didn't have ME to begin with. You can have very ME like symptoms with post-viral fatigue, and that can go on for quite a while, months to a year, but many people improve and recover, 90% of "ME" patients who claim to have completely recovered are in that category, as for the other 10%? Check back in with them in five to seven years, I guarantee they will have had a relapse that brought them right back to where they were before.

Fuck these shithead grifters.

[chesters-ocs]

My brain just went "Sylvester is probably scary as hell when he gets really mad." And so now I have this strong need to see him angry.

So I'm humbly requesting Sylvester tearing into someone with his words and maybe his fists. Honestly, it could even be Stone, because God knows Stone deserves to be yelled at. (But honestly, whoever he yells at is put to you.)

hm;; inch resting;;; to be fair, he deserves to be scary. as compensation for being the shortest one. also slight ranch au rewrite up ahead because methinks i can do better now >:3

wc: 1.5k

"Why are you here?!"

The house went quiet as soon as the icy words left the shortest of the bunch, who had went to open the door when the bell rang.

Butcher slowly turned around at the table to face his friend, his face twisting into one of discomfort, as he watched the tail of the man thrash back and forth wildly, hardly a hint of the usually composed energy Sylvester exuded on the norm.

He almost looked ready to tear the other person in the room apart: ears pinned close to the skull, blending into his long-since grayed hair, his pose resembling that of feral animal, with how he was hunched ever so slightly, his shoulders tense, eyes focused only on the target of his fury.

Even from his spot across the room, Butcher could hear the breathing, no, panting, and the way it resembled that of the growls of a feral animal instead.

"Well?" Sylvester demanded an answer, staring up, baring his teeth in the process. Teeth, that were sharp enough to draw blood. And a lot of it. Unsatisfied with the continued silence, he raised his voice further: "Speak when spoken to, god damn it!"

Butcher ignored how tense the kids in the room got, and how his own husband quickly herded them away from the kitchen-living room space, cutting the dinner talk short.

Thinking quickly, the gangster excused himself to quote-unquote "go out for a quick smoke," silently thankful that the household had grown used to his frequent cigarette breaks. In reality, they all knew it was so he remain close by and could intervene if the situation demanded it.

Pushing past the man, he finally saw the poor soul on the other side of the door, who was unfortunate enough to light such a fire in him.

Butcher is not proud of the way his own fist balled, as if ready to throw the first punch.

The woman at the door paled slightly, her confident facade crumbling near-instantly.

To everyone's surprise, Sylvester's arm stretched out to block Butcher. He looked up at him over his shoulder, as he spoke: "If you need to, go trough the back door. I'm busy."

Sylvester's tone of voice left no room for arguments. Accepting his fate, the taller man stepped back inside, closing and locking the door after him, to the dismay of the other men, who were watching the situation.

"Hey, hold on, what are you doing? What if-"

"He's got it handled. That's just a pest. A fucking annoying, shameless goddamn pest," he interrupted, and leaned against the door with a soft thud, effectively blocking both Vikram and Ashok's attempts to unlock the door.

"He's got it handled," Butcher continued, "Keep the kids away from the windows. Sure as hell won't be pretty."

"Hey, what the hell is that supposed to mean?" Vikram asked, his paranoia spiking, not wanting to leave his husband out and alone with someone he could only assume to be a threat.

"Mean's he's got a shit ton of pent up emotions to get out. Let him, I wanna hear it," Butcher grins, purposefully being vague.

Truth be told, the person on the other side of the door was someone both Butcher and Sylvester knew unfortunately well. That much is evident by how loud the man got, his voice getting trough, despite the door.

To them, it was muffled, but the woman, Līva, heard everything loud and clear.

"Are you going to fucking speak or not?! I don't have all day!"

"Why is he here?"

"None of your goddamn business. And I asked you that question first, sweetheart, so spill it!" the petname was coated in so much venom and hatred that it could almost kill. Almost.

"Well, honey," she finally bit back, but the confidence she tried to put on was barely reaching her eyes, and the slight waver in her voice was instantly caught by him, "I am... just here for a little visit, is all. Am I not allowed to visit my darling dear daughter?" she smiled, but it quickly became a grimace at the scoff that escaped the man.

"Daughter? Daughter?! Are you fucking hearing yourself, woman?!"

Behind the door, Butcher's smirk widened, while the other two men shared concerned glances at each other. The window was ever so slightly cracked open, so they heard everything loud and clear.

"You barely have a fucking right to call yourself that! Not after you disfigured her, not after you left her, not after you left us!"

Vikram's eyes widened ever-so-slightly, and he turned to Butcher: "Who is he talking to?"

"A certain, lousy ex wife of his."

There was no time for more questions, as Līva spoke again, faking being indignant.

"What, me? Leave? No, honey, never-"

"Shut up.. Just shut the fuck up! You left me, went off and screwed some bloody Frenchman, and lord knows it's a bloody damn miracle he saw you for anything more than the gold digger you so clearly are! You not only broke my heart, but his one too! And then you have the audacity to pretend Mary's mine! The amount of lies you can spin would be impressive, if it wasn't for the fact it pisses me the fuck off!"

Each word got faster and faster, his temper rising rapidly, ready to blow over at any given second.

The woman paled, unaware how much the man before her knew, before trying to mend the situation, eyes looking around wildly as she stammered.

"U-Uhm, you see- w-well! Remember how you promised you'd b-be there for me? No matter what-"

"That was only true before you dumped divorce papers on me and before you ran off to lead poor Martin on." Sylvester dismissed her near-instantly. "Just... tell me why you're here. So this can be done with, why don't you?"

"Ah, yes, yes, right away, honeydew. I need money. You're still in debt to me, remember, cutie? Nothing personal, but I'm here to collect-"

It was now when the door swung open, with Butcher having decided Sylvester's let out enough steam.

The woman gulped when she saw him once more, aware that her so-called "master plan" is about to be lit ablaze.

"Collecting money, eh?" he asked, gently guiding Sylvester back inside, where Vikram gladly took him away, comforting the man who's voice has now turned hoarse, and the adrenaline leaving his veins making him a bit more sluggish than usual.

"Y'know... It's one thing to lie, and it's another thing entirely to make up a situation... Shame that you're piss poor at lying though," he commented, clearly using his intimidation factor to freeze her in place, as he finally lit that cigarette.

Līva was frozen. It was a pity Butcher could not hear her heart hammering in her chest.

"You may think you're tough shit for playing mind games with someone like him. Someone who clearly loved you and didn't want to hurt you back," he hummed, taking a long drag, as he started slowly circling around her, "But you're really just a pathetic excuse for human scum. I don't even think it'd be fun to kill you. Would feel more like pest control, than a satisfying kill."

"Though," He spoke after exhaling the smoke right into her face, making her cough and rub her eyes instinctively, "I guess I could make it more... exciting~"

The way he spoke was absolutely perverted, and Līva was absolutely sure he was getting off on her unease, her blatant fear of her better (or worse, in this case) version. She never imagined he'd be here too. Never in a million years.

Before she could mourn the world in which she never came to this home, to her ex's house, Butcher started counting down. Ever the sadistic freak.

"Five... Four..."

She made out the slight glimpse of his brass knuckles fit snug on his fingers, as he leisurely reached for his holstered gun.

'Jesus fucking Christ, since when did he have that?!' she thought.

"Three..."

Locking in her fate, she spun on her heel, and ran to her car.

The last glimpse she saw of him was him aiming it directly at her, as if she were now his target practice.

Satisfied at her quick departure, he holstered the pistol and kept smoking in peace. Or, what would have been peace, if his lover had not interrupted him.

There was a hint of disapproval, if not disappointment in Ashok's voice, as he leaned against the doorframe, not caring about the cigarette smoke that was being let in. "Did you have to resort to that?"

"And miss out on messing with that chick? Not a chance, dollface!"

"... I'm giving that gun to Sylvester when you come inside," he threatened lightly.

"Hah, fine by me."

"But you two are so going to tell me who that lady is! Sounded... Bad."

"That's putting it lightly, doll," Butcher chuckled, snuffing the cigarette out on the ashtray, stepping back inside to the warm home, where the smell of the dinner still persisted.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

Right, now I’ve had some time to process that episode of Casualty, I have thoughts. I’ll start with Stevie’s storyline, as that was the main focus last week and a major one this week (although balanced out evenly with the Rash and Ashok storyline).

Elinor Lawless deserves BAFTAs. Give her BAFTAs now. Seriously, she’s an incredible actress. Her performances all throughout this episode were just absolutely brilliant. The scene with Stevie at the hearing, talking about the impact Marcus’s actions had had on her and how they’d broken down her confidence, was particularly heartbreaking. :(

I was definitely cheering Stevie on at the end of the episode, when she regained access to the evidence against Marcus and got one-up on him. I will say, as I did with the previous episode, that with basically any other character Stevie’s revenge plan might have been unbelievable and cheapened the storyline, but since it’s Stevie, it works. I don’t think it’s crossed the line into being too sensationalist, though it easily could’ve.

What I do think has crossed a line is the useage of Faith in this storyline. I continue to find it absolutely fucking disgusting that the show is continuing to treat Faith as a good person. She isn’t. She’s an abusive monster just like Marcus. Like, Faith and Marcus are literally the same. It is realistic that Faith would hate other abusers while refusing to change her own behaviour or acknowledge her own actions, but I don’t think the show is doing that on purpose.

I also think the way Faith has been written in this storyline comes across poorly from the show, as we’re seemingly supposed to think she’s a saint and a good person for tolerating Stevie. “Vaguely tolerating an abuse survivor’s existence makes you a saint” is not the best moral for the show to be sending out. (And yes, I do say “tolerating”, because that, at best, is what Faith is doing for Stevie. She certainly doesn’t like Stevie, and is not any kind of friend to her.)

In other news, can I just say - I really loved seeing the female patient flirt with Stevie. She’s really gaining Iconic Bi Ice Queen Status now, isn’t she? <3

I probably should’ve expected the show to intertwine the care home abuse story and the Ashok story, and I suppose I assumed it was a possibility, but I was not expecting them to become so closely tied together until the spoilers for this episode came out. The scenes tonight were really, really sad. (And, as usual, featured great acting from Kriss Dosanjh, Neet Mohan, and William Beck.) Poor Ashok. :(

I know I’ve said it before, but I’m really glad the show is doing the institutional abuse storyline. As upsetting as it is to watch, it’s a really important topic that isn’t talked about enough, and it’s great that Casualty are raising awareness.

As for Rash and Paige breaking up... meh. They had potential as a couple, I think, but the show hasn’t written their relationship very well, so perhaps they’re better off apart.

The backstory with Dylan, Max, and their friend Lucy sounds very interesting. It feels like I should consider it a bit of a retcon, but the show has told us so little about Dylan’s past (we mostly say this about his youth, but it applies to his time at medical school too) that they can’t really fuck this up unless they forget Zsa Zsa exists. (I hope they don’t. Obviously Jemima is going to come into this somewhere, but I hope they don’t just ignore Zsa Zsa - I swear Dylan knew her at med school, right? Not just as a junior doctor? And I mean, obviously Dylan can have had two med school mentors.) And it would make sense for Dylan to hate and blame himself for not having spotted the signs of what was happening to Lucy - to think that as an abuse survivor himself, he “should’ve known better”. So yeah, I’m fascinated to see where this goes.

I think they’re building up to something with Marty, but I have no idea what. We’ll just have to see where the story goes, I guess.

Anyway, next episode apparently is Robyn’s exit and has a big plot twist. That should be interesting.

[car0l-avenger-danvers]

The Jasmine Throne

About a third of the way into the book and REALLY ejoying it so far.

Priya and Malini's dynamic is already very entertaining to watch, and you can see where it's going, and i look forward to the journey.

I fucking HATE Pramila, i want to think she has a reason to act the way she does, but i do not care at the moment. Also... Ashok? dude? you were a bit of a dick the first time you appeared, but it was interesting, the second time? Already starting to dislike you.... THE THIRD TIME??? Dude, no... just no. I am not a fan😡

I'm also really curious about Bhumika and what her long term goal is, but so far, she seems to be on Priya's side, which as much as he says otherwise, it's more than Ashok has shown.

And kinda curious about Prem and Rao and where all that is going to go.

Kinda regreting not doing this more as i've read diferent books this year but anyway!

[rahulblog89]

f was tht you are gross clean your coputer....common problems

wdi you send me energy tried to.the light is spposed tocommon too...

dont put yourself abotve others....you. dothat you shold do it more it is like thinking tfa goodthoughtbaout somee and backing foff like ehes a good person....and etting her be...it is. anazamasin gffeeling to see them grow do it to janet...jane tis an amazing wonderful intellgient euatifu personpt yourself under peooe is thebest way.....

wastha right yes..itll make sense...is it about pwoer..ida..maybe not right for you right now since youa r in char.......but in life ok...ikeep reading today yes !

ok what is this?

not really sure but fun...

puja is on a campain of hate gainstyou..o rellyg?

ehse is smokig blunts w tupac hile you get laid all over..u want her to feel bad about that..hah ni''a

are yu mad at risih's dad?

auot what?

not includingou inthat?

no

dunnowhat it is

it is fun..we made soemthig energetic...a tool to monitoar energy...

whatis this and how do i get in? what?

the ting you are in now..just ayyappa vratham...prayer to ayyappa..kerala god with jewish deity in it....likely adonai

what;s going on.intiating them dont worru

sw you say that..idd nots ay..not me right ieye side ist hat

i am scared this will ahve the sam reacion tell it to calm down, tell it to it is a god f humor in indian culture..claire was right...veermani

do not lower it..bad stuf will happen people will notkonw how to use it ana=offend eeryeone please take it. dont want it

we are movitng to someone wo wnats it cna can handle its ...sper fun

whosent this..a malayalee uncle...it was not for u ...but willmove it..thanks

are you lauhgint at t hem or oris

boriss aid make it about video games....not sue where the fuck he came from, why hes saying that, or whtethe hes speking that loud

wo ave this skil we rn not nervious ...

ndo twnat to lift...

funny people reative good ideas..not sure how constructed, but not sure where it is goinng or what to follow ..not looking for punchline but some narrative tthing,,hmmm like it thogh could be really fun..dk

others

same but think thats not rahukl who said it was it/

ya mostly i added narrtive defvie

he got it ecuase he is a comedian like that dont worry...

do you like masturbating if not doing ayyappa

do not anyway..i follow all those rules except showering twice a dayya i like it is fun!

not real comment

some faci thing..can we delte faci yet

if ou want...dont want but can we....yes?

ok

i will use movies music and ent for devotional purposes....

music i get but movies/

was that faci to me

no

we like it.i do ..

rachel asked that..are you up there..not right now rahul ok...mad?

no just doing tis for fun:) ok

why did you hit langan..

too excited

ok..ec arefulis she mad

shes kust like cant do this wnat ihug him and stuff...wil wait for days then party time

maya thinks ishould

are you amd at me,.. my dad says tnot to upset if you get mad

NO!

happy at u maya....ok let me kno if you are mad

O.K.

sounds good

u (also) too

bye bye

puja

do ashototram, do light offering to look up, and the song at the end ...

are you mad at me again rahul

nope!

ok

dont smile so angr...peae ful smiel

like that...ok

why is that word in e.w as ut in for a second to...

jeez i was worried..don't be

`

whats bben said to rahul that= hasnt been said by a dog trainer

what s been siad about hari kondabolu that hasnt caused a culture war

whats been said about ashok kondabolu that isnt by rahul and his friends....

whats been said about lakutis that hasnt been said by .....who is this behoenst...rahul and a friend...that was friend..

wats bee sad about lakutis that hasn't ben said about a gnertion..nothingtrue about it............pk i gotcha jk jk jk jk jk jk

wjo addded poser.....rahul?

no was not rahul was rishi who says itwasn tme but im told to sayt hat not bcause you are a poser but bc it was funny to add

get it ya..smart pp shit..in case rahul....damn

it was?

was it?

yes..just didnt like smart ppl shit...but wasnt me who said poser...said generatio not knowing course yet...tbd

are you going to eat meat ever...no

do you ned to...get mienral broth ya nathan said it was good.

lakutis..youu are the opposite of everyone in our generation you are very unique so whoever said that maybe rahul is dead wrong.....

was it you who said the generation comment

maybe?

let's see

was someone else but rhul rote it so he gets it?

no need for hit as funny keep going ...ok

milennials.....which milleneum?

funny?

Rahul- name a bird

cardinal

chex

c chex is your rap name

lakutis has a joke for you want to kno if offends..

what doyou think of jazaida guy?

think hes ok but hisgirlfriend is fly?

heyo thanks ima see her in a few....days? months? years?

lakutis

sorry sundie we were just checking onyou or something

ok ni**a shes with us

Mary jane is mandy adams who you had a crush on....not now .,,why not

overwhlemed..ok understand..reach out if you think of me again!!

ok will do!!!

sounds good bye! was cute

we re emoting at how unfunny these are...so stupiidand not humorous

terribly unfunny coud not find punch line or humor in one except for

yes

jk jk jk we love these but why are you so ensitivie

ppl get blasted all the time!

cnno t tell if joking or serious? might change career plans

you are us

we are joking but having fun at insulting everythingok

ok

ok

np kinda someone is..i am these were well recived not sure they got the light pulled from them..and now too..

ourconcencus..unfunnybut fun.....

ok cool

u mad?

no but why?

lacks testosterone!

ok ok ok...fine

whyat are you doing?

trying to make ten good tweets to feel better about hw i felt when they red and i read them..id dnot like....

they wer ejoking..theye tweets do not feel good anymore...

stripped of light from enjoyment...hmmok but twen tweets?

ok fine but hurry up need to demote what is that

to de emote because of fun of puja

oo fucking funny

not me....not comig

what mandy ou dont remmeber me becaue i was drunk and you were sloppily dressed for a man of your figure...is what i told you....i can't ok! look my up in ten days...i think youll like me...not me

mandy'

sure yes

iw ill look yo up

that was too funny but that as meant to be a joke

are yo u amd at joel for doing that

is it humorous?

no not bad and weird time as said...we aregonna change how we handle the hormones if tht starts...

we are not turned on by this bc ayyappa made us female sadhus for next 10 days ...so we ware good

wy do u keep looking at rachel

are for approval

smoetimes i feel like im not growing spiritually when doing ayyappa- why?

youare but slow because o are not emoting literaly well you have to express emtions and ayyappa will come quicker...try maya way.....

were offensive thing ssiad to opp fam? yes

that we don't have a jewish last name--we are ews whoare hindu like rahul

Oh ok

didn'tknow was jewish

prarna wants to say that...is smell like semen too during ayyappa because ppl send me your light...

DON"T SEND RAHUL"S light it is to ascend and find Jazaida or whatever

Pujais done

crying and wants to say i am not done with anything you fag

listeniam trying to patch thingsup with my dad after a divorce..they got divoriced and are back together so thats why it is hard...can answer faci prefer not

ok

not

fine

...bi

k

--

lxmi wnts to say something

someone. issendiingyou that....not sre who.sure yeah

ot me

no doesnt need

do

no

can i have

smaya and sara...how you feel about my reading

not 10 minutes whatever you eed take..thats how we do potta.....endhina enne potta na vilchida..verde..chile? heheheheheh california ...crusing down 101...ohhhhherew e come....oh yeah

who is this mega gay vibes?

Rahul ----interested..no comedian tryina be like them

brett davis whatever happened to the guy?

here and kickin a littledisheartened by what happened rahul explain to us what happened wth a flow chart

ok

[jupiter-reimagined]

Me, to Stone: You don't get to be free to wreak havoc in my head until you sit with Akhil for more than a few minutes.

Stone, who spends more time with the rest of the kids than he does Akhil: Yeah, that's fair.

Me, to Kali: You don't get to whine about missing Butcher until you hug Akhil.

Kali, who hugs the rest of his nieces and nephews a lot: I am in fact a terrible Auntie Ashok, right now.

Me, to Heartthrob: And you....

Heartthrob, who regularly takes Akhil out for father-son hangouts and tells Akhil he loves him daily: Yes?

Me: You're the only OC I love right now.

Heartthrob is the only one out of the three OCs of mine who deserve rights. And he's now planning Akhil's eighteenth birthday party (let's all pretend like Akhil definitely shouldn't have been eighteen already due to the six month time skip when Butcher and Charlie were away, we'll explain it all away by saying that Akhil is actually a year younger than Laila and Mārīte).

He's asking Sylvester if he'd bake Akhil's cake, because Akhil loves Sylvester's baking.

sylvester: i'll do you one better. why doesnt akhil help me make the cake, actually :) so he can choose all the flavours he wants and how big he wants it to be. its his big day

rare instance of someone being allowed in the kitchen as he bakes!! lets fucking go!!!

sylvesters default wouldve been funfetti cuz. yknow. its a birthday cake, it should be fun, but he doesnt actually bake cakes enough to know anyones tastes (except mārītes. because she requests the same ones every year. and its either a honey cake or an anthill cake)

guess those two can also go out to do ingredient shopping together :) yay!

[mikehalters]

bestie, your soty fic has destroyed me because i keep thinking what happens next because ashok nanda still exists ig and i REALLY want to see abhi & rohan saying fuck you to him and also i need fluff from them because the playlist is too angsty

(this is a joke because like really absolutely no pressure. i just really loved that fic <3 i just want to remind you that i love your writing and YOU ARE AMAZING!!! AND YOU DESERVE HAPPINESS AND SOME GOOD SLEEP u_u!!! <3333)

Hii bestie!!! Thank you for the flower🥺🌟✨

I want to write a sequel or someTHING but things either get too hectic or I'm too depressed to write 🐢 I can't promise anything for the near future but I do have plans and half a plot🐥

Thank you soo much for the love you've shown that fic and for my writing, genuinely means a lot to me. Always love hearing from you 💌✨ Sending you bohot saara pyaar aur support🌹

Have pahad:

[paneerlajwanti]

How are Ahaana and Ashok doing???? The year is about to end, how has it affected them? Also, let them know that I love them🥺🥺🥺

omg heyy

ashok and ahaana are doing good, or atleast I hope so. they have a very chaotic existence and it's a shame I'm the one who's responsible for it.

the year has affected them very differently actually. ahaana has lost many braincells over the number of disasters this year. ashok would be the one who wears a hoodie, sits on the table with a cup of coffee, wraps himself in a fucking blanket and ✨cries✨. okay, unrelated, but,, ashok in terms of physical safety is a 0. just a quick note.

he records and conducts video sessions for mba and business management graduates, which he very promptly shoots and works at night. because, this boy is one fuck up for a sleep schedule.

ahaana is the other end of the spectrum. she wakes up at like 6 in the morning, attends and takes dance class virtually and then takes patients sometimes, only for like root canal or wisdom tooth removal, basically only emergencies and urgent procedures.

why did i just create something so fictional and abrupt like i don't even know, im just flowing with the go as of now and always. i never have canon accuracy or functional lives for them. but i will definitely tell them that adi tai loves them, because they love you too!

[vampiresuns]

How Will It Matter After You’re Gone

For Anatole’s day 13 of @arcana-echoes​: Aftermath.

Title: From Disenchanted - My Chemical Romance (Nana was an MCR teen, it’s only fair).

Quick guide: Here you can check on the Cassano-Radosevic family tree. Medea Pryce & Leonore Kaur are Anatole’s best friends, I owe them a post. Medea is a community organiser, and Leonore a therapist in training. Althea is his twin sister, and Navneet his eldest sibling (there’s seven Kaurs: Navneet, Sashi, Althea & Leonore, and Isha, Vaishnavi and Ashok). Navneet and Anatole end up together in one of his timelines.

Dear Vesuvia,

It is with the greatest regret that the Cassano of this City inform to the public that Aelius Anatole Radošević De Silva, Of The Cassano of Vesuvia, has passed away in the Lazaret on the date —.

Taking this time to mourn, while the Cassano and the Consul will remain in the city, striving to find a cure, we inform the city that Consul Valerius has taken the decision to close the doors of the Palazzo.

Due to sanitary measures, no funeral will be held.

Milenko & Amparo

Amparo sat in the middle of the stage of the closed theatre. She wanted to be alone, everyone’s energy threatening to drag her down and never bring her back again, down to a place where the sun does not rise. Not that it matters. The sun could rise a thousand times over, and she feels like she will never notice it again. Losing Anzano, her grandparent, was hard enough. Losing Anatole was unbearable.

Her Anatole deserved the brightest of requiems, and he will have silence, in a bitter city which will probably not mourn him. Not that she can hold it against them — but it still hurts, just like it hurt to feel him die. She always knows when people die.

“Vesuvia lost it’s last honest lover,” she tells no one.

She doesn’t know how long she’s been sitting there, but she knows she must head back, and for the first time in forever, she dreads Death itself.

When she comes back, she finds Milenko sitting on Anatole’s piano, crying.

Valerian

Valerian Cassano spent three days siting in the winter garden of the Palazzo after his great grandson died. He knew the biggest loss would always be for his parents, he had gone through that long before they had to. Losing a child was something one never truly recovered of.

He remembers so clearly the first time he met that child: golden before his hair caught up with his personality, avid to learn, curious, ambitious, resolved, more intelligent than most people he’s met. He reminded him of Vitale, his father in law.

Sometimes, if you spoke to the dead, they would listen, so he tried his luck: “Elysian, my dearest friend, take care of him. Do what we could not.”

Cassiopeia

Cassiopeia Cassano considered herself a lot of things: dedicated, passionate, fair, reserved, thoughtful. Brave... bravery was something she was beginning to doubt in herself. Seeing your parent die of a disease as invasive as the plague could do that to a person — seeing someone like Anatole, with his vitality of a thousand suns, could cement it a little deeper in oneself.

Cassiopeia didn’t like endings, they were predictable and inevitable and, sometimes, unfair. At least Amparo was back, and she didn’t have to worry about wherever she was and if she would be safe. 

A door opened and closed behind her. She turned to find Iris, her spouse.

“How is Lele?”

“She’s eating, at least.”

“And Lenko?”

“Lenko doesn’t want to see anyone.”

“How... how is...”

“Louisa and Vlad? Please don’t make me answer that.”

“And Va—”

“Don’t.”

Her eyes swelled with tears. Holding her own forehead, she began to cry. Iris sat with her, holding her free hand and kissing her knuckles.

“He rearranged the filing system for the Council by himself— he—” a hiccup, “he had so many plans—”

“I know.”

“He was drafting a social reform for—”

“I know.”

“I’m never going to see him walk around with his coffee, nor terrorise the Praetor. I’m never going to see him— I’m never—”

“I know, my love, I know.”

“He would’ve been a wonderful Consul, Iris.”

Iris’ voice trembled. “I know.” They held Cassiopeia closer. The only thing they could think about was how that could’ve been Amparo.

Mircea & Florentino

“Florence?” Mircea Radošević said, looking and sounding lifeless. “Do you want something to eat?”

“No.”

Mircea understood. He didn’t either.

Medea & Leonore

She’s cried too much to be properly angry, but no matter what she does, no matter how much she pets Leonore’s hair she keeps silently crying, snot threatening to make her unable to breathe alltogether. She’s tired, exhausted, and miserably, dreadfully alone. She feels alone in this world like she hasn’t in years. Leonore has his forehead on her forearm, and a hand on his third glass of spiced whiskey. The only reason why he stopped drinking was because he began crying again.

Medea used to think nothing was enough of a hit to fully break Leonore. He had that quality about him: feelings came, they went, and he sat with discomfort running rampant, only to build up after it was gone with a smile on his face.

Not any more.

Leonore sobbed pitifully, choking on his own cries.

After he finally managed to calm down, he looked at her: “How the fuck will I tell Navneet? How am I telling Althea.”

She began crying again. “I don’t know, Leo — I don’t have the slightest fucking idea.”

“Fucking— How the fuck am I going to wake up tomorrow if he’s, if he—”

“I don’t know, Leo... I really don’t know.”

Antupillán

Antu searched the entire city for Anatole, only not to find him anywhere.

He had gone where Antu couldn’t follow, so he did the only thing he could think of: he went back to Anatole’s room, made himself a lair in his wardrobe, and feel asleep.

If you paid enough attention, you could hear him weeping.

Vlad & Louisa

Aelius Anatole, his son, had come into the world at dawn to seal the lesson that Louisa had brought into his life: that if he knows what love is, it is because they exist. He had nicknamed him Lily because he had always been little, shorter than the other kids, yet somehow stood taller, brighter. He figures all parents think the same of their children.

His son came into the world at dawn. Vlad will never know at what time he left it. He will never know if he was scared. He will never know if the fever kept him lucid. He will never have a body to hold, just like he used to before, when Anatole still asked to be tucked in, demanding to be given a hand to tug on while he fell asleep.

He will have no stories to tell him, he will have no more hallway dances to see him dance, no more dreams, no more smiles. 

Death has taken so much from him, all he feels is rage. For the first time in years, he wishes he had died too, but he has a wife, and he can’t leave her alone.

Louisa De Silva never expected to have any children, nor she expected her only son to be taken away from her. She thinks, no, she knows she will feel hollow for the rest of her life, that nothing ever will be the same: happiness will be a ghost of what it used to be. Food will taste blander than before. Joy will be watered, and laugh will take a long vacation never to return.

That Anatole is now with her sister is no consolation at all. She’s always loved Paris, but right now, she’s envious of her. Wherever it is that they are, if there is such a place, her sister will get to hold her son while she didn’t have a chance to even see him die. She holds the arm of the chair she’s sitting in until her knuckles go white. She feels like fainting.

Incompetent and despotic rulers have taken so many things from her: her family home, her parents when they sent her away, and now, while a different tyrant, the offence is the same, worse even, because they too have taken her son.

Louisa De Silva, mother of Aelius Anatole, is a doctor: she doesn’t need to be told all of this was preventable, but it was her son the one who paid the price.

Valerius

“Uncle! Uncle! Look at what I learnt today in my fencing lessons!” Anatole was 8 then.

“Uncle? Was that your boyfriend?” Anatole, aged 9, hanged from a tree branch to ask him that question.

“Uncle!” He had screamed of joy at 11, running to him in the Palazzo after Valerius moved permanently to Vesuvia.

Dearest Uncle, he had written at 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20.

“Valeriy,” he had called him not two weeks ago, still so sure they would endure this. They are Radošević’s, they are Cassanos, the are Vesuvians but also Balkovian: that meant whatever life threw their way, they survived it.

Or they were.

Valerius feels a knot on his throat: he doesn’t have Anatole’s resolve, his progressive ideas, he doesn’t have his hope, and whatever amount of those he had himself, they died with him. They died with him, giving his life away for a city which would never appreciate him, which would never value him like he did. They did not deserve the soil of Anatole’s shoes and now he’s dead. The boy had given them summer without them asking, a summer which was snatched away from him: Anatole had slipped from his grip like sun-rays between his fingers. 

The world should stop without him. That it didn’t was an act of cruelty Valerius would never forgive, even if resentment poisoned him. No amount to lying to himself will change the fact his Aelius died, that he failed his brother in protecting him, that he will have no successor, no one to pass the Consulship to, and that no one will ever be worthy.

A year later, he will watch the Count burn in his bed, and he will smile: Good, he will think, If Anatole did not get to live, then neither should you.

[givemearmstopraywith]

Bruh different anon but man I feel ya at one point tumblr put a thinspo blog on the first of my recommended blogs and like. Why!!! WHY. Shits fucked. On another note, have you heard Ye Old Hope (Tear Out My Tongue) or Happy Slap?? Cause I just heard them and you like Florence and the Machine so I figure you have but I'm in love!! Sometimes distractions help me, not trying to brush off shit but you know. I love your blog and I hope the rest of the day treats you okay

i love both of those demos, especially ye olde hope! have you listened to paper massacre? all the existing versions are terrible quality but it’s definitely her best demo. also i don’t know if you’ve already seen this but the album plans by ashok is available on spotify and has a studio version of happy slap and a bunch of other songs florence did with them pre-lungs (a new year’s anxiety and under the thumb are particularly good).

ED TW///

YEAH i get so many this post/ed blogs suggested to me it’s not even funny. i just immediately block them but literally what is the reason for this i feel like it’s algorithm bs bc i do a lot of online reading about ed recovery but how is that remotely okay! disgusting.

[imnotrevealingmyname]

3, 11, 12, and 39 :p

3. I'm so fucking tired of human beings, like why are you this way???? SO MANY FUCKING HUMANS ALL OVER THE PLACE I'M JUST

DONE

FUCKING DONE

Humans be like: oh look here's a planet

Let's destroy it

Ah it's destroyed

Can we get another?

I'M ACTUALLY FUCKING SERIOUS, WE WERE ACTUALLY HAVING THIS DISCUSSION IN A SERVER A FEW DAYS AGO. It was a discussion/debate channel, and the question was,"Is it okay for humans to colonize other planets?" A few people actually said,"Sure, why not?" I'm just so fucking done. You have a planet, if you think that you might need another THEN MAYBE DON'T RUIN THIS ONE

AND STOP IRRITATING THE SHIT OUT OF ME

MY BRAIN IS AN ABSOLUTE ASSHOLE I SWEAR I WANNA CARVE IT OUT

It's so easy for people who don't have critical thinking skills :')

11. I can go cross eyed at will. Like, I don't have a squint (that's what the ophthalmologist called it :/ ) but I can do it when I want to.

12. Oh lord. I studied in the same school for over thirteen years, and it's a.... weird place, to say the very least. Vice principals falling down staircases, people trying to open windows and ending up smashing them, people breaking the fire alarm glass fOr FuN, computer labs on fire, light bulbs (IT WAS MY CLASS HNNNNNGGGG) going POOF and bursting into flames which died down three seconds later, the skeleton in the biology lab allegedly turning its head, bones disappearing from the skeleton, footsteps fossilized forevermore in the cement (which led to the idea that the school is haunted), the school actually BEING haunted, doors to broom cupboards locked for years rattling like there's someone inside, rumours that the school and its surrounding buildings were built on an old cemetery, mysterious inscriptions of "Bloody Mary" and "Tum chutiya ho" and "Abja tu kal aana" (a dialogue from some shitty movie, and Abja was the name of one of our best vice principals, who then left the school and who was also the one who toppled of the stairs) on bathroom walls, weird singing in empty bathrooms, lizards and cockroaches and spiders and blood coming out of taps, more rumours of the school being haunted, students threatening to start riots and flock outside the principal's office and fast, a teacher going ballistic (in third grade) when writings were discovered on the walls, the fashion studies teacher being given the moniker "Fashion Disaster", rumours that the vice principal could be present in more than one place at once....

That, my friends, is Ashok Hall Girls' Higher Secondary School. A childhood well spent, surrounded by crazy teachers and students.

39. My aesthetics are

a. Inky black midnight, absolute silence other than the cicadas and the occasional hoot of an owl, yellowing pages of mysterious old books and notebooks

b. A forest with a canopy so high that you can barely see anything except green, little to no sunlight, damp moss, a small forest lake (dang, I just remembered a poem I'd read in seventh grade)

c. Fall. In a forest. Reds and yellows all around.

Oof 😂😂😂😂❤️❤️ thanks for asking 💕

[the-whispers-of-death]

anyways. red string soulmate au :) wink wink nudge nudge :)

something something the damn fucking imagery of stone staring at the string as it leads into the ocean, horrified at the implications of where it leads.

or maybe in a different timeline, he's with kali there, one of his soulmates he had already found, and both of them come to the conclusion that their 3rd halves are across the pond and them unanimously deciding that *yes* theyre *getting* over the fucking oversized puddle no matter what. they already have each other, yes, but they cant leave their soulmates hanging either.

idk i am a huge sucker for the red string au, but i think ive made it clear with how much my brain rots over it.

take this either as a request or just a general idea. idk, its been a while since ive sent in fic reqs (like. over 2 years at LEAST lmao)

Red String AU, Red String AU!

Chose to have Kali and Stone also be soulmates in this AU, because it's fun like that.

This is just the start, so they might not even meet Sylvester and Butcher (I'm assuming we're adding Butcher into this AU).

A little lore tidbit because it's only kinda explained near the end: Red strings are invisible, but people can feel them around their wrists and can feel the distance between soulmates.

Wordcount: 1,281 words

Vikram stood on his porch, his hands resting on the railing as he looked up at the stars. The stars looked so beautiful and so far away, and he wanted to know what knowledge lay in the stars, how many aeons they had seen over the course of their life, knowing that most of the stars he saw in the night sky were either planets or stars that were so many lightyears away that they were already dead.

"Have I ever told you how breathtaking you look when you gaze up at the stars, baby?" Vikram's boyfriend, Ashok, whispered into his ear as he wrapped his arms around Vikram's burly waist. Ashok leaned down slightly, hunching his shoulders so he could comfortably rest his chin on Vikram's shoulder.

"You have indeed, but you can say it again," Vikram replied, his lips twitching until they eventually pulled into a small smile.

A rumble expressing his satisfaction spread throughout Vikram's chest, melting against Ashok as his soulmate held him. As he kept his hands on the railing of the porch, he could feel the red string on his left hand that connected him to Ashok, and he could feel the other red string on his right hand which spanned across the ocean, his other soulmate being so far away.

Both Ashok and Vikram had two soulmates, one of whom was obviously each other, and both of their other soulmates' red strings went across the ocean. They wanted so desperately to go and find their soulmates, but the only times they were across the ocean were when they were on deployments and had no time to go find their soulmates because they were on duty. They tried to find time to go when they were both not on deployments, but deployments came suddenly sometimes and as soon as they started thinking about booking flights to try and find their soulmates, they'd get deployed.

Like how last week, Vikram and Ashok were talking about trying to find their soulmates and then they both got orders that they were going on deployment this week. It was like the universe knew it wasn't their time to find their other soulmates.

Ashok brought Vikram back to the present, pressing a gentle kiss to the taller man's neck. "What are you thinking about, my sun?" he asked, gently rubbed circles on Vikram's waist. "You've been so silent ever since you got your orders."

"I'm usually silent," Vikram grumbled, turning his head to the side to nuzzle his cheek against Ashok's. He sighed at the touch, his soul feeling less empty than it would be if he hadn't found Ashok, but his soul still wasn't complete. "Thinking about how our plans to find our other soulmates keep getting delayed. It's so frustrating."

"I know, baby. I feel the same way, but it's the way it is right now. That's not a comforting thought, I know. But you believe in fate, so believe that fate is waiting until the right moment to bring our soulmates to us."

Vikram took in those words, not really liking them but he knew Ashok was just doing his best. He rested his hands on Ashok's hands that were still on his waist, intertwining their fingers. "When did you get so wise?" he murmured, leaning down slightly to kiss Ashok's lips.

Their kiss was short, but sweet, the two of them letting the kiss calm their frustrations down. When they pulled apart, they rested their foreheads together despite the uncomfortableness in the position they had twisted themself in.

"I'm not wise, as people love to tell me," Ashok said, chuckling. He squeezed Vikram's hands in his, loving the way his boyfriend's larger hands engulfed his. "But I know you well enough to calm you down, even if it had taken twelve years just to break down your walls and learn all of your quirks. I wouldn't change a single second for the world, though, my sun. And I know I'll feel the same way once we meet our soulmates, it's only a matter of time."

Their conversation died down after that, the two enjoying looking up at the stars. After a while, Ashok pulled back and tugged Vikram inside, murmuring about how they should go to sleep.

Vikram looked back up at the starry night sky before he went inside, as if he could use the stars to decipher the coordinates to where his other soulmate was.

He hoped Ashok was right, that they'd meet their other soulmates soon. He didn't know how long he could wait.

Besides, he'd be on deployment soon, which would keep his mind off the search for his other soulmate.

*************************************************************

Vikram sighed as he drove into base, having been on deployment for a week already and he was missing Ashok big time. As he drove to a parking spot and parked his car, he hoped his soulmate was having a better time at his own deployment.

He knew he shouldn't complain, he was fortunate to be placed as the Corpsman of a really friendly squad who didn't care that Vikram refused to tell them any truly personal information, not even his actual name.

Most squads hated how cagey he was, hated the way he relied on his stoicism to protect himself from allowing himself to get attached to any of them. But this squad only cared if he was a good Corpsman, which he was.

He had gotten lucky at that, and he had also gotten lucky at Ashok being deployed nearby.

Ashok was at another base, but at least they were placed in the same housing base, able to see each other regularly if they weren't away on missions. It made long, stressful days better when he could go over to the house the military had set up for Ashok and to be in the presence of his soulmate.

The thought of his soulmate made him look down at his wrists, feeling the invisible red strings that connected him to his soulmates. The right red string felt shorter, since he had gone overseas for the deployment, but still farther than where Ashok was.

His other soulmate was in the city, but he couldn't tell where. And he had no time to go searching still. But at least he was closer than he had ever been.

He unbuckled his seatbelt and got out of the car, locking it once he was out. He made his way to the main building, needing to sign in before he could go to the training center to find his squamates.

Vikram merely grunted in response when the receptionist greeted him, simply picking up the pen to sign in. He was about to leave when the receptionist called out for him.

"Stone!" she called out, using his callsign since that's what most people only knew him by. When he turned back around to face her, she continued, "Captain Karev told me that when I saw you, I should tell you that the entire squad is being debriefed soon. They're in Conference Room 220."

Vikram nodded to signify that he heard her, turning slightly to go down the long hallways until he reached where the conference room. Thankfully, they hadn't started until he got there, so he sat down and waited for the captain to tell everyone what their new mission was.

He tried to listen, he really did, but all of a sudden, the red string on his right wrist gave a little tug. He would've sat up straight if he wasn't already doing so, his excitement giving way and flooding his brain.

A tug meant his other soulmate was here. On base.

Finally, they'd meet.

*********************************************

Hehe, and I'm going to end it there. Just Stone's luck that he'd feel Sylvester in the same base just as he was about to go on a mission.

[chesters-ocs]

All this talk of the soulmate AU is making me in need of the eleventh (are we on the eleventh part now? idk) part of the soulmate AU. So that's what I'm humbly requesting today.

It could be anything, angst or fluff.

teehee >;) and god... yeah this is part 11. wow. something is telling me the end is soon as well, i just dont know why

wc: 1.5k

A number of months had gone by since the unfortunate incident where Vikram, in his sleep-deprived headspace, pulled a (thankfully unloaded) gun on his soulmate: Sylvester.

In this time, the broken nose the tall man was left with had luckily healed in such a way that it was barely even noticeable. Not that many people would have dared to comment on it either way, with how intimidating his gaze is.

A less wanted change was that Butcher had been called back to Italy by his boss a mere week after the events that conspired. Sylvester was well enough with the separation, as well as the kids, yet for some reason Ashok, the man's soulmate, was unable to cope, constantly checking the compass, and getting riled up when it hasn't moved at all.

"I don't get it! What's so important there?! So important that he had to leave..." he hesitates before saying 'me', the word dying in his mouth, as he kept pacing around the apartment.

Sylvester, who was the poor soul subject to his rants, sighed and briefly stopped caring for his plants and looked up, putting down his watering can: "That a rhetorical one?"

"No!"

"Well.. you know it's-"

"Yes I fucking know it's classified! You keep telling me that! But it still damn well frustrates me that you know and I don't!" Ashok cuts him off, before quickly realizing his outburst, "Sorry, I'm just... frustrated."

"As am I... As am I," the newly broken up man spoke, before leaving the room with the quick excuse of needing to dispose of the fallen leaves he had gathered from the various potted plants.

While Ashok remained thoroughly clueless, Butcher had informed Sylvester that it could take upwards to a decade until they see each other again, so they had come to the reluctant decision to break things off for both of their sakes. The possibility of them never seeing each other again was daunting, but likely. The logicality of it was the only thing that soothed Sylvester's mind.

This did, however, mean that Sylvester had become even more receptive to the affections of his own soulmate, to the displeasure of his son, now more vary of his dad's new boyfriend than ever.

But practicality (and luck) struck again, when the trio had found a little apartment building for sale, not too far from the heart of the city. The place was small, containing only three apartments within it, but after a little thought and budgeting, the group of men were the proud owners of the entire building.

Sylvester and the kids had taken to the one on the bottom floor, with it also being the largest, while Vikram and Ashok split the second floor amongst themselves, their front doors direct opposite of each other. Vik claimed the smallest one for himself, not listening to any objections from his friend. Not that there even were any from Ashok.

Speaking of the man, his pacing had finally ceased, as he just opted to stare out the window into the busy street, sparing a brief glance to the two children playing in the front yard, the setting sun casting harsh shadows. The soft sound of Sylvester's footsteps alerted him that the older man had returned, most likely having gone to the compost bin out back.

There was some hesitation before he spoke up, his clear tiredness being noticeable in the sluggish speech: "If.. It makes you feel better... Adam isn't one to break promises. And... he promised me he'll be back. When? I have no damn clue."

No words were said for a few seconds, the only sounds made was from the ticking clock and the kids outside.

Ashok had not noticed the substantial movement the compass on his wrist had made, having been trying to make it a point to cover that cursed thing forever engraved into his flesh.

"Thanks. That... does help," Ashok nodded, his voice down a few notches compared to before. The movement was miniscule, but his shoulders did sag slightly. Not enough for Sylvester to notice though.

Gathering his bearings, Ashok decided to at least distract himself from the thoughts of Butcher dying out there, wherever 'there' was, and took to tending to the man in front.

"Anyways... You alright, Syl? You look like you need to sit down," he asked, noticing how he was leaning more on the cane than before, likely still experiencing the pains of slipping and crashing down the stairs, despite it happening months ago.

The amused laugh and a nod was all he needed, to usher Sylvester to his bedroom, albeit as careful and slow as can be.

"Call if you need me, kay? I'll call Vik down to make dinner," was the last thing spoken to Sylvester, before the older man was left alone, with Ash just needing some way to distract himself, to keep himself moving.

True to his word, Vikram got invited downstairs to cook, always enthusiastic about providing for his kids. Sylvester would have joined them, though a quick peek into the bedroom revealed he had fallen asleep. Not having the heart to wake him up, Vikram just covered his soulmate, his boyfriend (god, he loved the sound of that word), with a blanket and returned to the dining table.

Once they had eaten, it was on Ashok to put the kids to bed, while Vik loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the table. The house was silent, save for the soft sound of a muffled lullaby coming from the room Mary and Sammy both shared, and the clinking of tableware.

Broken only by the sound of a door opening and closing, followed by a soft jiggling of the doorknob, which, unfortunately for the person on the other side, caught Vikram's attention.

Quietly closing the fridge door, he crept towards the door, already wielding his weapon of choice: a butchers knife. It had been the best thing he had, as Sylvester had requested that no guns be around the kids.

There was labored breathing on the other side, made louder when the door opened.

The man who had broken in was thrown to the ground, swiftly pinned face-down on the hardwood floor, the thud no-doubt resonating out trough the whole apartment.

He did not struggle when the blade was pressed against his neck, just grunting.

With the help of the kitchen's light, Vikram could see the assailant clearly. Almost a good heads worth shorter than him, a few nasty scars here and there. A scruffy, unkempt beard and black hair buzzed short. This did not look like someone he knew... Until they locked eyes.

Deep, crimson red. Now with bags under them and more tired than he had ever seen them before.

Although Ashok beat him first to the reaction, having been lured out by the noises, rounding the corner of the hall, curling his fingers around it as he did to help him lean forwards. And catch glimpse of the compass's movement finally. Pointing directly at the one under his friend.

"Wait!" He shouted, a bit too loud for his liking on accident, rushing forwards.

"That's-" "Your fucking soulmate, yeah, I got that," Vikram muttered, standing upright, and with a look of distaste, reluctantly helped the shortest of the three stand too, before discarding the knife, ignoring the irony of who was on the other end of the butcher's blade.

Said man was engulfed in a hug before he could react, resulting in a groan and a string of curses, which caused Ashok to frantically pull back his hand, feeling the warm blood before he saw it.

"Fuck, hey, he's bleeding, y'know!"

That got some sympathy points out of the doctor, at least, who reluctantly sat Butcher down and patched him up, the guy not even objecting to the rough treatment.

Sylvester, who got woken up in the process, joined them at the table, just quietly drinking tea, being a passive observer, but no doubt happy to see the man.

"... How did you even find us..?" Ashok asked softly, having taken to sitting down across him, looking at his soulmate properly for the first time in months. He so badly wished to reach over and grab him and kiss him then and there, but the man still dressing the wounds would likely not appreciate that... He doubted his soulmate would too.

After a moment, Butcher reached into his pocket, much to the dismay of Vikram, who cussed him out for moving too much, and pulled out a postcard.

It was all in Russian, but Ashok could at least make out the signature at the end, and gave Sylvester a weird look: "You wrote that? You told him we moved? When?"

"Got it a while back," Butcher grunted, and Ashok's eyes snapped back to him.

"I see..." he hummed, before a thought came to him, "Hey... If you need, I've got a.. a couch upstairs... that you could use." He hoped none of them noticed the stammering and nervousness in his voice.

"Unless you want to carry him there yourself, not happening. You'll rip my stitches!" Vikram warned, as he stood upright himself, gathering the contaminated supplies to dispose of them.

"I'll do it!" He bit back, a bit too quickly, before stammering, eyes flickering back to the injured male, "Only if, uhm, you want to, of course!"

"... Oh what the hell. Why not," Butcher agreed, but made no move to get up himself, instead sinking further into the wooden dining chair.

[will-die-without-chai]

Thank you so much for loving Ahaana and Ashok so much, you have no idea how much this means to me, I am so grateful. And as you very rightly said, I would too, go fucking balls for Ahaana. Even Ashok sometimes doesn't believe his सदभाग्य that he actually is the have ahaana love the? also I didn't explain in detail, but Ashok does have a Tumblr, and he's very active on it. Ahaana is pretty established on Reddit. She loves the anonymity and likes to share. Ashok, is a straight up cutie.

Dhdhdhdhhdhd don't thank me... Ahaana and Ashok are just.... Such amazing, relatable characters. It's not difficult to love them!! And I am in awe of you and many others who can created such fleshed out, realistically balanced OCs. It's such a difficult thing to do.... Having a clear view of the character and to interpret everything and the actions and stuff based on it... It's just wonderful.

Also, one more question. You've already mentioned who ahaana is loosely based on.. What about Ashok?

And yaaaasssss. Ashok is a tumblr boi. He feels like a tumblr boi. And I love Ahaana's ig name.

[myupostsheadcanons]

Books “Read” in 2019

I am going to rank these by how much i enjoyed them vs. any actual literary quality. often well written books aren’t always the most entertaining books.

Note: i listen to many of these books at work, which is why i am able to go through so many of them in a year.

List from 2017 List from 2018

------- My Favs of the Year ----

Novels from The First Law:

Best Served Cold (#1), The Heroes(#3), Red Country(#4), Sharp Ends(#5).

A Little Hatred (#2) (Age of Madness, sequel to The First Law)

I read “The First Law Trilogy” about a year or two ago and finally got around to reading the rest of the books, just in time for a new series taking place in the same world to start up (Age of Madness) and now i am waiting like everybody else for the next two books to come out in 2020 and 2021. A Little Hatred shouldn’t be read as a stand alone, a lot of what goes on is dependent mainly on knowledge from the first trilogy and in The Heroes, then bits and pieces from Best Served Cold and Red Country. So much of your enjoyment of each book is based on what you’ve learned in other ones (character development or seemingly useless information being not so useless later).

Age of Legend (Book 4,  Legend of the First Empire)

This is more-or-less an “aftermath” book where the main characters are still reeling about what happened in the previous book and are trying to make plans for what they are going to do next. I still like the characters and the world/setting it takes place in.

House of Assassins (Saga of the Forgotten Warrior, Book 2)

I’ve been waiting for the next book in this series to come out the second i finished the first book in the series. It is one of those Science fiction in the disguise of Fantasy settings and I am on the edge of my seat waiting to see how that plot/revelation comes out (I am certain that the location the story takes place is Earth, more specifically around Asia/India, but in a post-invasion apocalypse setting where nobody remembers anything prior to the invasion). I also really like how much of a badass Ashok is... i have a thing for emotionally stunted badass characters, especially when their flaws are held up to a mirror and have real consequences.

R. R. Haywood’s Worldship Humility & Extinct (Extracted, Book 3)

I love the way Haywood writes characters and dialog. I was at-first iffy about WSH, but was won over after i warmed up to the new characters.

Shades of Magic Trilogy (A Darker Shade of Magic, A Gathering of Shadows, A Conjuring of Shadows)

Solid multi-verse and magic system world. Well-written characters, some minor nitpicks on plot points, but can be easily ignored. LGBTQ rep, the gays don’t stay buried.

“Don’t you have enough [knives]?” “You can never have too many.” [me, every time: LOL]

One of the few times when a character deserves a redemption arc, doesn’t really get one, dies, and i am perfectly fine with it because it is done well.

Assassin’s Fate (Fitz and the Fool, Book 3)

I read this one in book-book form, but i already knew most of the emotionally painful parts of the book by spoiling it to myself when it first came out a couple years ago. The main appeal is the inner monologues of the two main characters, even if like 50% of this trilogy is basically spending weeks/months trying to go from Point A to Point B, when many other books would have glossed over the details of travel.. but you can really feel the stress as they dwell in their thoughts and struggles.

Madeline Miller’s The Song of Achilles & Circe

Re-Imagining of the Iliad and The Odyssey. Focusing not on the characters of Achilles or Odysseus, but on Petroclus (Achilles’ lover) and Circe the sea nymph witch that Odysseus had an affair and child with.

The Spear of the Stars (Cycle of Galand, Book 5)

Still love Dante and Bleys... This is where they really get into the meat of world building and solving the mysteries of the Arawn Cycle (the book/bible) and peel back the layers of their reality.

Dust (Silo Book 3)

A great ending to a good series, it answers whether or not humanity can or has survived what had caused them to be locked away in the silos.

Blackthorn and Grim (Dreamer’s Pool, Tower of Thorns, Den of Wolves)

I like the premise of the books, the two main characters first seeking out revenge, but end up wanting to become better people due to magic shenanigans.... One part Fantasy, One Part Mystery, One Part Lovestory.

The Dispatcher (Audible Free Book) 

I want a whole series based off this novella. It is John Scalzi so he can write a good story. I had previously read Android’s Dream by him, which it didn’t make it into my top-10 that year, but was still decent, even if the subject matter was a bit gross... The Dispatcher world is a Sci-Fi Noir, not quite Cyberpunk, where people don’t die by anything other than natural causes. The Dispatcher’s job is to kill people before something goes does wrong and the person “resets” to when they where safe and sound.

---- this is the “Above Average” Zone ----

All the Pretty Horses & Blood Meridian: Or the Evening Redness in the West

The master of bleak and depressing fiction. if regular Dark Fiction isn’t enough for you.... there is Cormac McCarthy books. Get use to the “purple prose” that fills up pages with no dialog.

The Golem and the Jinni

Supernatural world of the far past dealing with Edwardian New York and Immigration. It not only is a “fish out of water” story of the two main characters trying to fit in with society but they are among communities that are also new to America and trying to find their own place in the world. There are love subplots but most of those kind of fizzle out.

The Axe and the Throne: Bounds of Redemption Vol. 1.

“Discount First Law” book... it is lacking the dark humor that made TFL series far more entertaining.  This was also the book that was prefaced by warning people about how grim and dark the setting was... Hahahaha. I still found it entertaining none the less, and hope the rest would show up on audible soon.

Black Snow, White Crow (Audible Free Book) 

Another one of those short stories that should have a larger saga to its name. Fantasy Industrial Punk. It has the whole equality role reversal thing going on, it isn’t done quite as well as Left Hand of Darkness (but that book leaned onto the boring side of things).

Stephen King’s IT, Pet Semetary, and Carrie

It’s Stephen King. Classic King. Not much else to say.

Watership Down

Depressing Rabbit Book. Though I did like all the stories and mythology the rabbits had.

Bloody Acquisitions (Fred the Vampire Accountant, Book 3)

A series that is always fun to listen to. I wish the audio books were cheaper because they are rather short.

Lethal White (Cormoran Strike, Book 4)

shuddup, i don’t care if it is Rowling... i have a low-key crush on Cormoran.... he just hits that big-burly tragic-backstory man-shaped soft-spot of mine. These stories are also her “for adults” writings so...  expect more racism and garbage values.

The Eye of the World (Book 1, Wheel of Time)

Classic set up to a long running series, though i am reluctant to go further as the middling books in this series are said to drag out the story too much.... It’s not as self-centered as Wizard’s First Rule and the characters are more relatable and stick to their fantasy tropes. This is the “mold” that other modern fantasy try to subvert by going “darker and edgier.”

The Exorcist

If you like the movie, read the book. There is a lot of back story that the movie wasn’t able to adapt.

---- This is the “AVERAGE, but Still Good”  Zone ---

The Iliad and The Odyssey

Classics. I am still on the hunt for an unabridged version of Jason and the Argonauts story. I also have Virgil’s Aeneid in my wishlist to get too soon.

Phillipa Gregory’s Plantagonate Novels (The Lady of the Rivers, The Red Queen, White Queen, The Kingmaker’s Daughter)

Sometimes it is like reading the same book 5x in a row. other times you end up not liking the previous protagonist in a book you just finished reading because of how the current protagonist sees them from their POV.

Return of the King (Lord of the Rings, Book 3)

Read the other books last year and didn’t get around to this one for a few months.

Something Wicked This Way Comes

Fuck... I’m a janitor... why can’t i afford a house?   If you liked Stephen King’s “IT” go back and read this book.

Alien Franchise Dramatizations: Alien: Sea of Sorrows, Alien: The Cold Forge (Audible Free Book) Alien III (Audible Free Book)

I don’t mind that they all are done with a full cast. Though often I end up wanting to find the actual book and listen to them with just one narrator and descriptions.

The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe (Narnia, Book 1)

I would like to get the rest of the books in this series, but for books that are only 5-7 hours long they want 20$ a book for them. It needs to go into an omnibus.

Stephen Fry’s Victorian Secrets (Audible Free Book)

It’s Stephen Fry... he’s funny and a good narrator.

Wizard’s First Rule (Book 1, Sword of Truth)

I don’t like Richard. He started off alright, but even before he got tortured 2/3rds into the book, i was starting to dislike his personality.  Other than that, the side characters and world are solid, but it was like taking an R-rated movie and cutting it down for TV. There is somethings that are vaguely described when i am use to harder fiction like ASoIaF, The First Law, Dresden, and McCarthy books actually describing those things.

Halloween (2018, movie novel)

Like I said when i first read the book, it would’ve benefited by a second re-write before being published. But, i like the movie and so I liked the book.

Don Quixote

Another classic read. I did find it hilarious that the Author spent a good chunk of the second book complaining about Fanfiction of his own book... in the 1600′s.

The Princess Diarist

I listened this book instead of going to see TROS. worth it.

Smoke Gets in Your eyes: And other Lessons from the Crematorium

Non-Fiction, If you want to know the ins and outs of the funeral business and get told in an informative yet non-clinical way with lots of tidbits and history facts tossed in as well as a semi-autobiographical account of the Author’s life.

--- These Books are “Alright” ---

Frank L. Baum’s Wizard of Oz books

I ligit got into an argument with a 70yo man in a comic book shop about how Canon the other Oz books were post Baum’s death. He was looking for Oz comic books and I brought up reading the first 14 books, and he’s like “There’s over 100 of them” and i was all “but all those are written by somebody else.” and he got all “they are still canon...” 

The Hunchback of Notre Dame

If you want to know about the In//cel ideology in a classic literary form, this fits the bill. So much man pain.

A Christmas Carol (Tim Curry) (Audible Free Book)

Tim Curry, guys.....

The Poetic Edda (Norse God Mythology)

I listened this book twice. I bought two Edda books thinking I’d get some extra content, but no... same book just different production teams and readers. Returned the one with the worst translation.

Treasure Island (Audible Free Book, dramatization)

I need to read the actual book sometime, but i did like the cast and thought they did a good job.

Wally Roux, Quantum Mechanic (Audible Free Book)

A YA coming of age story about diversity and acceptance... with wacky science fiction. 

Carmilla (Audible Free Book, dramatization)

The vampire before Dracula. Victorian Lesbian love story.

Even Tree Nymphs get the Blues (Audible Free Book)

A novella from one of those “love on the Bayou” romance series with supernatural creatures. Could practically take place in the same world of either True Blood, Dresden, or Fred the Vampire Accountant.

Mystwick School of Musicraft (Audible Free Book)

Harry Potter lite. For 10yo girls.

A Grown-up’s Guide to Dinosaurs (Audible Free Book)

I like dinosaurs.

Rivals! Frenemies Who Changed the World (Audible Free Book, Dramatization)

Interesting way on telling us about the Fossil Wars and Puma vs. Adidas.

True-Crime from Audible: Body of Proof (Audible Free Book),   Midnight Son (Audible Free Book), The Demon Next Door (Audible Free Book), Killer By Nature (Audible Free Book)

Why is True-Crime or YA fiction the only halfway-decent things Audible is giving us? But yeah, these are basically the type of reporting that the two journalists from Halloween were trying to do. Where they go around and gather up information about semi-famous cases and present it in a Podcast-like format.

---- Meh... ---

Camp Red Moon (Audible Free Book)

Would’ve been better if they were actually written by R. L. Stein.

More Bedtime Stories for Cynics (Audible Free Book)

No... half of these aren’t written very well.

The Darkwater Bride (Audible Free Book, Dramatization)

The setting is nice, but it is far too .... Soap Opera Dramatic.

Junk (Audible Free Book)

A cross between Alien Invasion and Zombie outbreak, read by John Waters and written as if it was a bad version of a Philip K. Dick Novel.

Rip Off!! (Audible Free Book)

Most of them are duds and boring. I don’t even remember half of them without having to look them up. The two that stood out the most for me where the “Other Darren/Bewitched” and the “Dark and Stormy Night” stories, the rest were rather garbled.

--- Garbage... ---

Dodge and Twist (Audible Free Book, Dramatization)

No, you are not being edgy or kool.

Unread:

Siege Tactics (Spells, Swords, & Stealth. Book 4)

Triumphant (Genesis Fleet, Book 3)

Earthsea (Tehanu and Tales from Earthsea, i am going to re-listen to the first three before i get to these)

Into the Wilds (Warriors, Book 1)

Pout Neuf (Audible Free Book)

House of Teeth (Audible Free Book)

Viva Durant and the Secret of the Silver Buttons (Audible Free Book)

The Other Boleyn Girl (Phillipa Gregory)