#also fuck THANK YOU FOR THE $15😭😭😭😭😭😭 YOUR DONATION MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!!!

[h20]

BLA DIARY MOMMY ISSUES WORD DUMP

we haven’t heard from mom for a while which has become normal so we’ve been sending her periodic paragraph texts filling her in on what’s going on w/ us in hopes that she will learn how to send fill in texts as well, so far our only communication is her sending a response like “call me now” in which we’re filled with instant anxiety call her & get dumped with information that spans months long that we can barely process, only to not hear from her again for months. We’re glad to have the space to breathe but it’s also not really breathing because I’m *constantly* worried and wondering what’s going on at home, is she okay, are my cats okay, what’s happening? What’s changed now? What drastic difference in life is happening that I’m not privy for?

As a teen when my mom lived a few blocks away from me and I’d be living with my grandparents/her parents, she would call me over and over and over and over again in the middle of the night (4-6 AM) when I was sleeping until it would make me answer like hysterical crying and confused and she would unload all these plans & information on me, it was a lot different then. our relationship is better but it’s really strange to get used to these gaps in communications in life now

this all accumulated because she texted us the night before last for the first time in AGES, multiple full paragraphs asking us to last minute buy a train ticket home so we could watch the house & animals for a week NEXT WEEK while she goes on an all expenses paid trip to Orlando w/ our step dad. Leading up to this we’ve told her several times over unanswered texts that the specific weekend this trip lands on that I actually have had other plans made for a couple months now, this was especially relevant because months ago she made plans to visit the state I’m in right now at the end of the month this month as well (literally a week after this sudden Orlando trip) so there’s already a lot going on and I can’t make more travel plans not to mention I can’t even afford it, i can barely afford to get by right now. I don’t want to get sick traveling etc, but we reminded her of our plans and she INSTANTLY replied to those texts saying we don’t care about her and never cared about her, that “this is the least I could do to reflect the lifetime of sacrifices she’s made for me”…

it’s so fucking hard to say no. It’s so fucking hard to stick to my own plans and to not go belly up and do everything and anything she wants me to. I feel like a mom talking to her teenage child. I hate saying no to anyone but ESPECIALLY her and if I didn’t have the other plans I would have said yes in a heartbeat. I said that in my text reply to her, but it didn’t matter and she laid the guilt on thick “this is a once in a lifetime chance, I’m not mad at you I’m just sad you couldn’t sacrifice this one thing…” meanwhile I’m hysterically crying over the touchkeypad of my phone, i hate making her sad and I hate doing anything for myself. I feel like I’ve sacrificed my entire childhood and teenagehood and early adulthood to her and then working for her at the daycare I’ve been completely unemployed ever since I detached and I don’t know how to be a normal person. This is just another chip of guilt she’ll hold over my head forever *crying into coffee sounds*

[boyfiejay]

I love my girlfriend

PAIRING : Enhypen hyung line x female Youtuber! Reader

GENRE : fluff, bullet point

Warning : curse words, me rizzing up the reader😔

Word Count : 0.9k overall

Author's Note : this was long overdue☝🏻

Heeseung ☆

you're one of those underrated artists, that are underrated due to one sole reason

it's better to gatekeep a talented artist

yk the way some fans get sad that their favourites are now on everyone's fyp

yeah your fandom in a nutshell

they also thirst over you non stop

I mean you are stunning, gorgeous, beautiful, enchanting

just date me pookie

you used to be a youtuber before the music career fyi

imagine your fans' dilemma (dimension?) when you say out of nowhere that you have a bf

‘guys, my boyfriend sent me this :D’

and it's a silly picture of two cats or smtg

like your fans are fighting a fucking war on twt

and you are like cuddling with hee, listening to unreleased songs

you have no clue of what's going on

meanwhile heeseung…

he's ready to fight the war

posts a picture of you kissing his cheek on your insta story

he makes sure that only 1/4th of his face is visible

to keep his identity anonymous yk

…

your fans find his acc in 15 mins

he panics definitely 😭

tells you his innuendo after you wake up

and you're just like

‘yeah ok, sure’

WHY ARE YOU SO CHILL??

your boyfriend is getting deep fried on twt and you're like ‘el oh el’

dw your fans mean no harm

after a while they're like

‘they're cute tgt ig 😒’

Jay ☆

you're like a cooking channel

STAY W ME IK IT SOUNDS BASIC

you're like a blogger who blew up one day

because you're just soso pretty😻

alright anyways, your channel is focused around learning to cook

it's so chaotic sometimes

bcz you don't know shit about cooking

sorry if you do, let's pretend you don't >.<!!

you have almost killed yourself a dozen times

at some point people are like

‘??? how is she alive’

all thanks to your almost professional chef boyfriend

but no one has to know that ;)

anyways on like a milestone or something, you decide to cook blindfolded

bae you can barely cook with eyes open

your followers are concerned bro

like their blood pressure is rising by the minute

and like a holy light in the midst of the darkness

Jay stepped in, to save you from killing yourself fr this time

Your fans are seriously jumping around, squealing bcz he's just so soft and gentle to you :(((

but then they snap out and pretend to be angry

and you're like ‘meet my boyfie :3’

jk your fans love you two

like almost obsessed

also they're always sliding in Jay's dms

like I get it mans fine af but he's also taken

and also absolutely whipped for you 🤭

it's your world and we're just living in it…

Jake ☆

you are a gamer/streamer

your whole fan base is delusional

like so delusional, there are like hundreds and thousands of accounts claiming to be your bf/gf

but the iconic one ‘ynsboyfie’ is everywhere

like that acc is the most iconic thing in your lore

they are always there, no news of yours goes past them

always donating in your streams

and one day…

you forget to log in your priv acc

so your official acc has the comment

‘babe, you're so sweet ☹️🩷’

replying to ‘YNSBOYFIE’

???

oh your fans are livid

jokingly ofc

or maybe not

everyone on twt is like

‘who is this bitch???’

everyone hoping for his downfall

then you drop his pic

THE SWITCH UP IS INSANE

‘oh, oh, he's fiiine😏’

like I can't blame them, that's jake

but still they're supposed to be your fans

fucking snitches

my bae, pookum shmookum I would never

your fans love him

but also bully him calling him a lewser

hes so down bad he had a fan page for you

i dont blame him, i too would fangirl over you 😼

Sunghoon ☆

you're like a fitness channel

like those ones that have insane challenges

and your famous in people who have no interest in working out too

your face reveal went so viral, almost every single person knew your face

also your workouts (even tho deadly) always work so fast

people are in love with your figure and just you in general

you also upload mini vlogs once in a while

in these vlogs people noticed someone always being around you and in the back of the frame

at first they were like

‘obsessed fan😨’

but then they saw you laughing along with him in another clip

from the small clips, people couldn't see his face (bcz it's blurred) but omg the figure

the biceps, the buff and tall guy immediately steals everyone hearts

it's obvious from the clips that you're close with him

so naturally you are asked who he is and you just laugh

???

people are losing their minds woman

and you're just like ‘hehe’

they continue seeing him in your vlogs and in one clip you could see him putting his hands on your waist while you squat

you have no reaction to that

but twt…

he's getting dragged even though half of the people have no clue what's going on

you decide to take matter in your hands

and post this

with the caption ‘he's my boyfriend everyone :3’

the internet breaks

Sunghoon doesn't do his face reveal for a long time js bcz he doesn't feel like it yk

but when he does

good lord…

your fans love him

they also love how he glares at people who look at you the wrong way

you never notice that for some reason