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[ ! ! ! ] 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝟶 𝙵𝙾𝚁 𝟼 . . . P O P E Y E
𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆 𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃 𝙼𝙴𝙰𝙽𝚂 𝚈𝙾𝚄 S U C K [ / / / ]
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#✄ ✧・゚: * SELF PROMO ↳ aѕĸ мe aвoυт мy ғavorιтe crypтιd#plan is to bounce between bev and robin this weekend <3
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i’ll be here some this weekend <3
#✄ ✧・゚: * MOX ↳ aѕĸ мe aвoυт мy ғavorιтe crypтιd#work's been a lot lately and i start classes back up#so i'm gonna need the creative outlet#i miss you guys
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PROMPTS FOR THE HEAVY HEARTED
the burdened:
“ being alive is exhausting. ”
“ i ruin everything i touch. ”
“ no one ever helped me when i needed it. so, i just. try to do my best to keep others from feeling that kind of loneliness. ”
“ i feel like the pain is all i am anymore. ”
“ i wish i remembered anything other than loneliness. ”
“ i’m not a particularly good person. but sometimes i wish someone would think i am. ”
“ i’m just always the one who gets left behind. ”
“ i never seem to belong anywhere. or to anyone. ”
“ i’m alone. and it’s my own fault. but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. ”
“ i don’t know how to just live. i constantly feel like i’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. ”
“ i always expect people to hurt me. because they usually do. ”
“ i don’t know how to let go of my trauma. i don’t know what i am without it. ”
“ it’s better if i’m alone. i can’t hurt anyone if there’s no one close enough to get hit by the debris of my fuck ups. ”
“ there are just too many people depending on me. i can’t rest. i can’t let them down. ”
“ i don’t have anything or anyone left anymore. ”
“ i’m not strong. or brave. i survive ‘cause there’s not really any other choice. ”
“ i tried to give up before. but the universe just didn’t let me. ”
“ i just want to be done. i’m tired. i’m so, so fucking tired. ”
“ i know it’s selfish. but i wish someone would just take care of me. ”
“ every time i start to feel like things are getting quieter and i can feel safe, something bad always happens. ”
“ i tend to love people more than they love me. and it’s okay. i don’t mind but…it can be lonely. ”
“ i just don’t feel like my life makes any difference to anyone. i’m just here. ”
the comforter:
“ hey, look at me. i’m listening. you can tell me anything. ”
“ how can i help you feel less alone? ”
“ i’m here and i’m not leaving or letting you change the subject. now talk to me. ”
“ i know you feel like you’re alone and i’m not going to invalidate that. but i can tell you that i’m here. and i know there are people who want to care and help if you’ll let them. ”
“ whatever it is you’re struggling with, i want to help and it’s not going to make me look at you any different. ”
“ i like having you around. and not because of what you can do for me or give to me— i like you. i value you as a person. ”
“ i just need you to know that you’ve never been ‘nobody’ to me. you’ve never been nothing. ”
“ you’re important to me. you hear me? you’re important. and that’s never gonna change. ”
“ i’m not going anywhere until you get some sleep. ”
“ i want to take care of you. please, let me. ”
“ no one is meant to be all alone. that’s not how humans are built. you don’t need to do all this on your own. ”
“ you don’t deserve the bad things that happen to you. you never did. ”
“ i can’t promise you aren’t going to have any more hardship. but i can promise i’m gonna be right here to get your through it. ”
“ you make a difference in my life. i’m not just saying that. it wouldn’t be the same without you here and i don’t want to find out what it’d be like to not have you around. ”
“ next time it gets this bad, you call me okay? now you just sit there and i’m gonna make you some tea and soup and we’re gonna talk this out. ”
“ is it getting bad again? ”
“ you are so much stronger and braver than you think. ”
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𝗠𝗬 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗧 𝗕𝗨𝗥𝗡𝗦 𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗧𝗢𝗢 ⸻ an independent, mutuals only roleplay for ben hanscom of stephen king’s IT. primarily 2017/2019 films based, with influence from the 1990 mini-series. loved by courtney. 20+ only - mature content will be present.
#✄ ✧・゚: * PROMO ↳ aѕĸ мe aвoυт мy ғavorιтe crypтιd#cpurtney is lovely#we love and appreciate cpurtney and ben in this house
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“Think of this letter as a promise. A promise I’m asking you to make. To me. To each other. AN OATH. See the thing about being a Loser is you don’t have anything to lose. So… Be true. Be brave. Stand. Believe. And don’t ever forget… We’re Losers… and we always will be.”
indie. priv. stanley uris of stephen king’s it. heavily headcanon based by siren
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[ ! ! ! ] WINTER FIRE . . . JANUARY EMBERS
MY HEART BURNS THERE TOO [ / / / ]
#✄ ✧・゚: * SELF PROMO ↳ aѕĸ мe aвoυт мy ғavorιтe crypтιd#i wrote things support my brand#probably booping off for a bit and should be back around tomorrow at the latest
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@nancewheelr said : ❝ i need you to trust me. ❞
trust ? beverly marsh wasn’t sure she’d ever understand the full meaning of trusting anyone . her entire life has been a mess and she’s learned nothing except to trust no one . not if you could help it . ❝ you say the like i can snap my fucking fingers and create trust out of thin air . ❞ a frown finds her lips as she balances a lit cigarette between said fingers . eyes move from nancy down to her own hand and she sighs , raising the cigarette and wrapping lips around it to give a deep inhale . she pauses for a moment , eyes closed , before she exhaled , smoke curling from her lips and fogging the space between them for a moment . ❝ you don’t get it , nancy . you don’t know what it’s like . he’s a monster ! and i just want to get away from him . ❞ another drag of her cigarette before she looks back at the other . ❝ running away fixes it . i could just call my aunt and run away . it’s not like he’d notice i was gone . ❞
#✄ ✧・゚: * ANSWERED ↳ вe вrave wιтн wнaт yoυ wanт тo ѕay and leт тнe wordѕ ғall oυт#✄ ✧・゚: * ARC 001 ↳ тнe тerror oғ ĸnowιng wнaт тнe world ιѕ aвoυт waтcнιng ѕoмe good ғrιendѕ ѕcreaм#nancewheelr
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RE . THE SHINE
within the stephen king universe , the shine is a sort of psychic ability that occurs naturally within a certain gifted population . it allows those who possess it certain abilities of a psychic nature . these can include reading minds or telepathic communication with others who possess the ability . it can also manifest in prophetic dreams or nightmares . it can also allow for the transmission of emotions , thoughts , and can even allow those who bear it to communicate with their past selves . this is typically a naturally occurring “ gift ” and is not something that can be learned .
however , there are certain occurrences within the universe that force the shine on those who were not born with it . it is an extremely rare occurrence , but it is possible . there is an argument to be made , though , that these abilities are latent in those who have them triggered by certain events around them . this is , arguably , the case with beverly marsh and the rest of the loser’s club .
early in life , beverly marsh showed little to no signs of the shine . it is debatable whether her ability to know her father’s moods before coming home or before leaving her room is attributed to the shine or due to the fact that she’s spent her entire life learning to deal with her father’s rage . though , no one can argue that her uncanny ability to avoid the worst of his abuse is borderline supernatural .
that said , beverly marsh’s shine truly began manifesting the moment she looked into the deadlights after being taken by it .
the deadlights are a recurring theme through stephen king’s work , manifesting as bright orange lights that possess an almost edlritch form of energy that comes from another dimension ( the macroverse , where it calls home ) . for most , a mere glance into these lights results in death or a spiral into insanity . these lights are the life essence of it and were used to capture victims ( typically young children ) and render them helpless and defenseless so that they could be kept in a sort of stasis and devoured at a later date .
beverly marsh’s shine was triggered by the stasis she was put into after looking into the deadlights after being taken by it . the moment she looked into the lights , the sound of children screaming rushed through her mind . she could separate voices … could hear the voices of children who’d long been missing , could make out the pain and fear of everyone the town had forgotten . and my god did it hurt . but the screams faded … she couldn’t be sure how long it had taken for them to fade to a low rumble in the back of her mind but eventually she could tune them out . but when she did ?
oh it was worse … so much worse .
the sound of screaming was replaced by visions of the losers … images of them rushing to save her that were quickly torn away and drenched with visions of faces that were familiar but older … the children replaced with adults who looked tired with the universe , exhausted of the world around them . but missing two . an incomplete puzzle . and the moment her mind realized that there were missing pieces , visions of death swam before her . she watched her friends die one after another only for it to repeat in new ways .
oh she was going to break ….
but she was pulled from the light into the dark of the sewers by a reminder of where she belonged … a kiss and arms wrapped around her that she wouldn’t remember as the clouds faded from her eyes and left her standing among the losers with little memory of the things she’d seen , only the memory of screaming clear as day .
by the time beverly is married and running a successful fashion company , she’s forgotten about the events in derry . she remembers that there were missing children . she remembers that her father was still there and that she hadn’t spoken to him since she’d left . but everything else is shrouded in shadow . she knows she had friends but she can’t remember their names or their faces . she knows she went through something terrible but she’s so certain it was just the suicide of her mother and the abuse of her father .
but at night … when sleep comes and nightmares creep into her mind ? memories merge with what ifs and confusion . she can’t place what’s real and what’s not . she watches men die over and over in so many different ways and in her dreams she feels as though she knows them even if she can’t remember their names . she watches helplessly as those who feel like friends take their lives or have their lives taken from them and it’s different every fucking night .
and when she wakes up ? she doesn’t remember . but she can feel fear bubbling in her chest and she can never explain why . she writes it off as being on her toes and on edge to keep herself safe from tom’s anger and unwanted needs . but there’s some part of her that knows it’s more , that knows there are people out there her soul calls to that she can’t remember , can’t picture their faces , can’t remember their names .
but it all falls into place the night her phone rings and she hears mike hanlon’s voice on the other end of the line . everything begins to make sense in that moment . the faces in her dreams begin to clear and her memories begin to seem more like memories than dreams . and she realizes …
she’s been watching her friends die over and over .
in that moment , beverly marsh promises herself that she’ll do whatever it takes to save her friends because she’s begun to understand that her dreams are more than nightmares . they’re too vivid , too real . they have to mean something … don’t they ?
beverly marsh’s shine manifests primarily as an ability to connect with others who have the shine and in the form of prophetic dreams . however , these dreams show things that could be based on decisions that are made . beverly is not always privy to what decision causes which outcome . this leaves her scrambling to attempt to create the best possible outcome . we see this happen when she gives eddie a weapon . she’s seen him die time and time again and she’s hoping that by giving him a weapon , she can save him . obviously , this doesn’t work and bev is left blaming herself as she found the wrong solution .
the shine also manifests as an uncanny ability to aim perfectly . when throwing something , beverly will always hit her mark . when using a weapon , she is a deadshot . this is something that has come into play numerous times throughout her encounters with it . the shine allowed her to injure it with a slingshot , allowed her to destroy a mirror that had been possessed by the entity , and allows her to somehow know the best place to aim for .
this manifests in an unexpected way with her work with fashion . she’s able to innately understand the world of fashion and the direction it’s moving in . this allows her to create designs that seem to ring in a new era of fashion , leaving her one of the most sought after designers in the world . when asked about her knack for knowing the future of fashion , bev just smiles and explains that the designs come to her in dreams . she doesn’t understand exactly what this means until after her encounter with it as an adult .
#✄ ✧・゚: * META ↳ leт'ѕ вe clear ι тrυѕт no one yoυ dιd noт вreaĸ мe ι'м ѕтιll ғιgнтιng ғor peace#abuse //#suicide //
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let’s see what writing i can do today <3
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work’s been busy . i probably won’t be around much during the week for a bit while i keep up with things .
plan is to be here this weekend and rewrite that headcanon about the shine before i get to replies <3
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yeah ... today’s probably a no - go . i’m losing that client who had the 20 minute issue . even my manager’s confused about it because i pulled 14 hour days for nearly a week after i had covid because she neglected to work on her project while i was out sick for two weeks . add in that i jumped in and did web development for her which is something my company DOES NOT OFFER but i knew how to do for this specific case .
apparently she loves me , loves working with me , but thinks she should work with someone else . and i’m just like ... so you just want to jump to someone else for no reason ?
but , yeah .... that’s over $300 a month i won’t have until my manager finds another client . needless to say i’m stressed and upset and crying and i just don’t have it in me to do anything here .
probably quiet on the ooc front , too . i’m just trying to get through the day without having a panic attack over everything .
sorry guys . i know i keep promising to be here . but life is really not great atm .
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today is a lot of anxiety so i’m not sure i’ll be here . i have to meet with my manager about the client who had issues about twenty fucking minutes . and the manager is the worst at triggering anxiety with “ can we set up a time to speak “ and giving no information so ... i’m just anxious af and want to curl up under a rock .
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lmao not me crying because i’m suddenly getting yelled at for going over 20 fucking minutes on a client’s hours on the last fucking day of april in literally the last 30 minutes of the fucking month .
today was great . i was having a great day . i was on top of things . and now i’m just sitting at my computer crying because i’m in trouble for doing what i was fucking asked to do .
not to mention it’s fucking mid may and this client is JUST NOW having an issue regarding fucking april .
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[ ! ! ! ] WINTER FIRE . . . JANUARY EMBERS
MY HEART BURNS THERE TOO [ / / / ]
#✄ ✧・゚: * SELF PROMO ↳ aѕĸ мe aвoυт мy ғavorιтe crypтιd#NO ONE TOLD ME I HAD MY LINKS WRONG#anyways i made a new carrd and i'm proud
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okay ... gonna grab a shower and then try to do some writing while i’m working . thank you guys for being so patient with me <3
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listen ... because all of my muses have a pro-wrestling verse ...
bev is a costume designer and backstage personality . that is all <3
#✄ ✧・゚: * MOX ↳ aѕĸ мe aвoυт мy ғavorιтe crypтιd#i'm not making a separate verse because this can take place post chapter 2 !
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Okay, I feel that this needs to be said now that there is a resurgence of I/T blogs popping up again. As someone who was a part of the og fandom and witnessed some of the gross practices first hand, I just want to be ABUNDANTLY clear.
If you are gross, or if you support gross things when it comes to the losers club, WE DO NOT WANT YOU HERE.
The few of us who are trying to pump a little life back into the fandom want this to be a safe place for anyone and not another fandom 2017 nightmare. These are literal CHILDREN in ch1. Children. DO NOT BE GROSS. Yes, we all are aware that the source material is sketchy at best but DO BETTER. We, as writers have ( and utilize ) the opportunity to change things.
We don’t want your kind here. Full stop.
This includes: don’t be an asshole. don’t steal people’s shit. don’t write shit you know you should not ( and also don't condone it ). just be cool and you’ll find a place here.
This is a safe environment for everyone involved and we are striving for that for everyone who wants to be involved. It won’t be tolerated here. There are a small group of us who are trying to make this a good fandom again because we miss it and we enjoy it. Don’t hesitate to reach out, we’re all pretty open about everything.
#✄ ✧・゚: * PSA ↳ aѕĸ мe aвoυт мy ғavorιтe crypтιd#siren edited it#and i need it on my blog#i was literally chased out of the fandom with abuse and theft#and i refuse to have it happen again#i love beverly marsh too much for that
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