#also for anyone who doesnt know anything about sims

[lesbiancocksucker]

I searched up adult rimworld mods because I wanted to do fucked up violence in my colony simulator game and I completely forgot that sex exists anyways I've found the wicked whims of the rimworld community and boy is it interesting

[kalaidosnail]

When they were 8 years old, Jonathan Sims watched one of their bullies die at the hands of the Leitner known as Mr. Spider. They found themselves unable to share their experience with his grandmother, instead delving into whatever books he could find to soothe their mind. This led them down a path which eventually found them with a small notebook in his hands, scribbling down notes as he scrambled through abandoned buildings, poking Artifacts with sticks. After being saved once or twice by a disgruntled Gertrude Robinson, they continued to investigate, becoming a sort of ward of many of the Avatars of London. He observed the process of skin burning on many afternoons spent with Jude Perry, trembling but ultimately standing still, wide eyed, drinking it all in. They learned how to spin a baton and balance on a tightrope while Nikola Orsinov clapped delightedly at his efforts. Annabelle Cain herself helped him find closure and peace after they confided in her what had happened with the Leitner. Many others would ask after his well-being, sending them birthday gifts and dropping by with treats the one time they became sick with the flu. Gertrude, reluctant as she was to let a child be claimed by a Fear, helped him forge a connection to the Eye, and taught them how to hide from James Wright, then from Elias Bouchard. Now, they have found a position as her replacement, the Head Archivist of the Magnus Institute. 

   How will they manage to handle their grief for Gertrude, evade Bouchard’s schemes, diffuse political tensions between the Avatars, and wrangle their trio of disconcertingly attractive and devastatingly mischievous assistants? 

Well, for once in his life, he really just doesn’t Know. Should be interesting, at least.

--

In other words, I've decided to do a chatfic. Kinda. Jon knows how to use a phone, that's it that's the premise.

[szczylpierdolony]

wish i had the type of depression where you party and do drugs and look sad in cinematic settings rather than the one where i never leave the house barely shower and lose any remnants of a personality ive left

[fakeuwus]

MANEATER | SIM JAEYUN (M)

PAIRING: virgin!jake x yn (femreader)

SYNOPSIS: in which jake is tired of being a virgin and you're asked to help him out.

WARNINGS: smut so MDNI! vrignity loss, oral (m and f receiving), unprotected sex (be safe out there), creampie, riding, multiple orgasms, etc. cursing, words like slut/whore, BARELY PROOFREAD

WC: 5k, lowercase intended

MESSAGE FROM NIC: here it finally is!! (sorry for the delay) my first piece of smut,,, hope it's what everyone imagined 😁 (also tysm for 2k notes on the teaser ahh!!) big thank u to my stella, @karinasbaby for encouraging this fic, one of my biggest supporters ilysm. pls be kind as this is something new for me BUT feedback is super appreciated, tell me what u liked and didn't like! (respectfully) also reblogs would be nice as well so feel free to drop one. love u guys sm 🫶🏼

jake sim was a virgin. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. and it’s not like he was ugly. not even close to that. jake was an attractive guy, easy on the eyes. and his flirting? a real smooth talker he was.

it was as if 2000s chad michael murray possessed his very soul every single time he would chat up a girl at a party or in class. 

so why couldn't he ever close the deal? how did he find himself in a steamy makeout session one second and then the next the girl is storming out of the room in disgust. every. single. time.

oh yea, because he was a fucking virgin. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. 

it seemed like girls these days wanted a man in charge. someone who could help them live out their fifty shades of grey fantasies. jake would like to think he could do that for them but how could he ever learn if no one wanted to give him the time of day? what happened to the girls that would spread their legs for anything and anyone?

all jake needed was one chance. one chance to stick his dick in a hole and he can move on with his life. 

his friends didn't make it any better either. he was getting tired of hearing all about their wild sexcapades every week and having nothing to contribute to the conversation.

but they don’t intentionally leave him out or make him feel bad about his lack of experience. they even try getting him with their past hookups because you know, sharing is caring right? 

“dude no way you fumbled sora. she’s a real slut i was so sure she would let you hit,” sunghoon says as he’s unwrapping his sandwich then taking a bite. “bro i didn't fumble anything. it's the same shit every time, once i tell them im a virgin they dip,” jake responds while he steals sunghoon’s sandwich and takes a bite for himself.

sunghoon doesn't even argue, his best friend is clearly in distress and is need of some food. “she started ranting about how she doesnt “do” virgins because they get attached and she thinks im gonna become obsessed with her or something.”

“why do you even tell them you��re a virgin in the first place? if that's the issue why even say anything at all?” heeseung questions with a mouth full of the same sandwich that somehow now ended up in his hands.

“because if he cums in .2 seconds then the girls are gonna think he’s a bad fuck. there's no winning here.” jake nods in agreement with jay's statement as he watches jay snatch the sandwich from heeseung and finish it off.

this is what is so beautiful about their friendship. they share everything with each other, the main things being girls and food. unfortunately for jake, bites of food is all he gets.

—-----------------

“oh fuck!” jakes pants while bucking his hips forward. vision blurry, drool pooling around the corner of his mouth. he genuinely feels like his soul is leaving his body and he wasn’t sure this was even real life anymore. to ground himself and bring him back to reality, he tries looking around the room to find something to distract him.

he doesn’t want to cum embarrassingly fast and he does NOT want to be seen as a bad fuck. out of the corner of his eye he spots a baby yoda squishmallow in the corner of the room, its sparkly eyes watching jake get his dick sucked for the first time.

it’s kind of weird but he finds comfort in the plushie and focuses on it to keep him from fucking exploding. 

now you might be wondering how he got here. in a hot girl’s room getting what he swears is the best head in his life (not that he has anything to compare it to.) the answer is jay, his best friend in the entire world who he now owes his first born to. 

“her name’s yn. just text her and ask when she wants to meet. i told her you were a virgin already so don’t worry about that,” jay explains as he’s scrolling through your profile showing jake what you look like.

silky, flowy hair, curves to die for. to say you’re gorgeous would be an understatement. the whole ordeal seemed too good to be true.

“she wants to fuck me? even after hearing i’m a virgin?” jake asks after grabbing his milk tea from the counter and walking towards a table.

jay simply nods and throws a look towards sunghoon, signaling him to explain the rest as they all take a seat. “yea that’s kind of her thing. she loves virgins. like, her body count consists of only virgins.”

jake was perplexed by the situation. surely he’d hear about a beautiful woman who only drops her panties for inexperienced guys roaming their campus.

heeseung then speaks up, as if reading jake’s mind, “she goes to the college in the next town over. around a 20 minute drive.” before continuing his sentence he shifts his eyes towards jay and sunghoon. eyeballs darting back and forth.

some unspoken dialogue is happening between the three as they sip their sweet drinks and jake just has to sit there and watch. minutes go by and jay clears his throat and sighs, finally breaking the silence.

“she uh, actually took all of our virginities back in high school. that’s how we know her.” 

pause. the fuck? he knew his friends all have gotten their dicks wet for the same girl before but at the same time? jake couldn’t believe what he was hearing. i mean, he did only just meet them three years ago, whatever they were up to before then he can’t judge.

he supposes desperate times call for desperate measures, and jake is sure he would’ve ended up in the same situation soon if they weren’t handing you on a silver platter to him.

“so… you guys had a foursome for your first times??”

heeseung instantly chokes on his boba as jake’s arm receives a punch from jay. a faint giggle is heard from sunghoon, “this bitch is choking on some balls.”

ignoring heeseung’s dramatics jay clarifies, “no you idiot, she took all of our virginities separately. we weren’t as desperate as you were.”

“and like, that pussy is so heavenly. i’d be pissed having to share her with another guy at the same time.” 

“roger that, brother.”

jake looks towards the two, sunghoon rubbing heeseung’s back trying to calm him down from his almost near death over some balls. 

“care to elaborate?” 

“man why do you think we’re all sex crazed freaks? her pussy’s got some voodoo magic in it or something. our manhood didn’t begin when we watched porn for the first time together, it started with her,” jay pauses and shifts in his seat, slight discomfort in his lower region.

he looks up and pinches his nose, “fuck i’m getting hard just thinking about it.” sneaking a peek at jay’s lower half, jake can see his friend chubbing it up in his pants. nothing he’s never seen before honestly. 

but what he hadn't seen before was how his friends were reminiscing so hard on a hook up the way they were right now. and the fact that their origin story of discovering their high libidos is all because of you? he was scared shitless of what he was about to get himself into.

-------------------

fast forward to some exchanged texts between you guys, jake found himself in your room with his pants around his ankles getting the life sucked out of him.

he quickly discovered you were very straightforward and to the point, immediately sending him your apartment address and what time to show up.

jake couldn’t argue though, all this talk about how you were gonna “change his life” and shit got him real worked up. he appreciated the fact that you skipped the small talk and went straight for his dick.

upon arriving and stepping into your living space, your lips smashed onto his and he was pushed down onto the bed. no hi, no hello. just your lucious, full lips swapping spit with his.

his hands instinctively flew to your waist, his digits gripping your plush skin as you straddle him. jake felt so in his element in the moment. making out? this is where he excels. he could do this all day if he could.

but he was here on a mission and he’ll be damned if he leaves without fucking you. or you fucking him. he was honestly down for whatever. you could ask to peg him and he would say yes.

you can sense his impatience, his face twisting in pleasure trying to savor every moment while the cogs are turning in his head, awaiting your next move. every squeeze he gave signaled that he wanted to get things moving.

you make your way down his body, peppering kisses any and everywhere leaving his skin burning. jake couldn’t believe what was about to happen.

in less than a minute he was about to get his first blowjob ever. what does he do? where do his hands go? what if he chokes you? what if he passes out from the stimulation?

before he can think of anymore what to do’s and what if’s, your mouth is on his dick and jake is seeing stars, figuratively and literally. he takes note of the little ones taped to your ceiling and thinks it’s cute.

the pink walls and plushies surrounding the two of you is such a stark contrast to your personality, or what little jake knows of you. but hey, he likes a woman with some duality to her.

“you can put your hands in my hair.”

jake finally takes a look down at you. pupils blown out, lips a bit swollen from all the sucking. you looked so, so pretty like this. he can only imagine what you look like with his cock in you.

trembling hands grab at your hair, slightly pushing you further down and a gagging noise emerges from the back of your throat. oh shit. your nose is practically meeting his pelvic bone and you aren’t letting up.

fuck it, jake thinks to himself. he was done with being patient. he starts fucking up into your mouth relentlessly, chasing the orgasm he was delaying. and you just let him.

you’re merely a hole for him in this moment and you could care less. his dick may be average in size but the girthiness of it was so delicious, you couldn’t get enough.

to make sure he reaches his high, you reach for his balls and start playing with them. his erratic thrusts combined with you squeezing his genitals he twitches in your mouth and his cum is shooting out, pooling out the sides of your lips.

and you don’t stop there. you keep going and going and jake actually feels like he’s going to pass out. “okay, okay please please!” you swallow everything he gave you and finally let him go with a pop to come up for air.

you get up and see him lying there on your bed, unmoving. eyes closed and mouth agape barely taking breaths. one might think he’s dead but this was typical.

once a guy gets to cum in a girl’s mouth for the first time they don’t know what to do with themselves. nudging him with your knee he breaks out of his trance with a lopsided smile adorning his face. god he’s adorable.

before you can suggest a break he immediately grabs you by the hips and flips you onto your back. your shorts go flying onto the floor behind him and he spreads your legs wide to prop them onto his shoulders.

his tongue immediately attaches to your clit and he starts licking you all over. slurping and sucking, as if this was his last meal on earth. he was desperate to get you to cum the way you made him and it was showing.

jake’s eating you out a little too expertly to your liking, as if he’s done this a million times. you won’t judge if he has, you’re literally the last person to judge someone’s sexual history but how is he still a virgin if he eats pussy this good?

he must’ve been met with horrible women who just used him for his mouth and left him dry. you wouldn’t do that to him though, poor guy doesn’t deserve that.

he inserts two fingers into your hole while his mouth was still working your clit. jesus christ. you didn’t notice before but his fingers were so slender and long, reaching places your own didn’t. “am i doing okay? kind of my first time.”

oh? so this was his first time eating pussy. you simply give him a nod of approval, not being able to utter a word as he dives right back in.

in all of your sexual encounters, never has there been a guy so willing to return the favor. and the fact that you didn’t even have to ask? where the fuck did jay find a guy like this? was he aware his friend was a fucking certified munch?

determined to make sure you cum, jake inserts another finger and moves his fingers in an upward motion, trying to find your spot. at least that’s what wikihow told him how to do it.

the sound of your moans and the taste of your pussy on his tongue simply feel amazing and he feels like he could come alone like this. at this point you’re panting and riding his fingers and god it’s so hot. you’re so hot.

jake finds himself humping into the mattress, trying to aid his painful hard on he’s grown since going down on you.

his wrist begins to ache with how fast he’s pumping into you but he doesn’t give a fuck, he’ll do anything to see what you look like when you reach your high.

“oh god, i’m, i’m- ahhh!” you come undone onto his mouth and hand, lips forming an o shape with the most pornographic moan he’s ever heard and he silently releases his load along with you onto the bed.

jake makes sure every single drop of your delicious juices are all licked up, driving your oversensitivity.

“so? how was i?”

you take a look at his annoyingly cute face and he’s licking all over his fingers like a lollipop. cute. gaining some of your composure, your eyes spot a wet spot on your sheets.

“wait, did you…”

“oh. sorry about that. i couldn’t help it.” jake explains with a sheepish smile and a scratch behind his head. not only is this guy a munch but he came untouched while tongue fucking you. you weren’t even sure guys like him existed, like at all.

without speaking another word, you grab the back of his neck and smash your lips onto his. tasting yourself on him has you wet all over again and you both begin to undress each other.

you detach yourself to take your shirt off and he pauses to fully look at you, drinking in every inch of your body. hands grab at your boobs and he pinches a nipple, a small moan escaping your mouth.

your body was literally to die for, the pictures on your profile barely doing you justice. and to finally be able to feel all around your curves and give your boods and ass tight squeezes was a dream come true for jake.

(he may or may not have been jerking off to the few posts you have up, counting down the days of you guys finally meeting but you didn’t have to know that)

you also took a moment to admire his body. to say jake was sculpted like a fucking greek god was an understatement, sporting a six pack and biceps to die for. veins running all over his arms and hands.

deciding it’s finally time to do the deed, you switch positions and motion for him to lay on his back. “are you ready?”

“wait! what about a condom?”

“i’m clean and i know you are so…”

“right.”

you throw your legs over his waist, now straddling him with your vagina inches from his cock. “okay, take deep breaths. i’m gonna slowly go down alright?”

jake throws a thumbs up and eagerly nods. in a moment like this he doesn’t fail to be endearing. you could literally just eat him up with how cute he was. your pussy was about to anyway.

you lace your fingers with his and slowly lower yourself onto him. there’s some intimacy with your actions and jake finds comfort in your eyes, looking at him adoringly.

it was finally fucking happening and jake couldn’t believe it. he was about to become a man. and the fact that it was you taking his virginity, a gorgeous woman who doesn’t care that he’s inexperienced and lets him hit it raw. it's really all he can ask for.

once your walls are wrapped around his tip, jake’s a goner. the little sweet moment you two shared is thrown out the window and he starts bucking his hips up into you, hard and fast.

his hands find purchase on your hips and he’s gripping them so hard you're sure there will be bruises tomorrow. you wanted to start out slow as it is his first time but it seems his thrusting says otherwise.

you press your hands against his chest and begin to move rhythmically in sync with him. jake’s eyes immediately roll back and his breathing quickens.

his hands fall to his side and he lays lifeless beneath you, letting you take full control.

all he could do was stare at the spot where his dick entered you and it was making him even more hornier. he couldn’t tell where he ended and you began.

your wetness didn’t help anything either. the squelching sounds indicated that you were very much enjoying this as much as he was.

“fuck you feel so good baby,” jake moans. the pet name that slips past his lips and it doesn’t go unnoticed but you also don’t question it.

for some reason the simple word made your heart jump. guys always called things like babe or even whore when they really let loose.

those never got to your head, you know they couldn’t really control themselves in the moment and you let them have their fun.

but jake has been nothing but kind to you this whole time, like he knew you were doing him a service and not the other way around.

this only fueled your desire to ensure that his sure first time exceeded his expectations so upped your menstrations. you quickly changed your pace to grind forward, backwards, and in circles making sure his dick felt every inch of you.

jake’s mind was reeling, his breath caught in his throat. he feels as if his dick was about to fall off with the way you were moving.

your body leans forward and you begin to kiss at his neck, leaving hickeys everywhere. your hot breath near his ear sends him into overdrive, must be a sensitive spot of his he never knew he had, but also how could he have known?

his hands that were once gripping the sheets meet your ass and he starts to guide you up and down his cock. you both were about to reach your climaxes, your pussy clenching with every move.

“i’m- where? fuck! where do i cum?”

“inside. cum inside me please.”

inside?? his first time cumming from sex and you were gonna let him do it inside of you? jake swears you couldn’t be any more perfect than you are right now.

you knew you threw him for a loop and honestly yourself as well. pushing these thoughts towards the back of your head you start riding him aggressively, even faster than before. “fuck, jake i’m cumming!”

“me too baby oh my god!”

and there was that damn pet name again. it makes your heart leap out of your chest and sends you over the edge.

the knot in your stomach snaps and jake follows shortly after, his load shooting into you. it pools out of you and you don’t hesitate to swipe some up with a delicate finger and bring it to your mouth, mirroring his actions from earlier.

your eyes meet his fucked out ones and you smile down at him, admiring the masterpiece of lovebites you left all over him. his vision was a bit blurry but he catches the way your lips curled upward, flashing your pearly whites.

jake finds himself instantly becoming hard again, call him easy but when a pretty girl is smiling at him like that after fucking him, can you really blame him?

you move yourself off of him and jake was fully expecting you to kick him out now but instead you position yourself on all fours, your ass in the air inviting him in.

“fuck. you’re into anal?”

you turn your head sharply to look at him over your shoulder, raising an eyebrow to question what he just said. the look you give him says it all and jake takes the hint and positions himself behind you.

“can we try anal next time though?”

an exasperated sigh leaves your lips and you reach over to grab his dick, inserting him into you. “umph! okay sorry.”

upon entering your pussy, jake relishes in the feeling of it. being inside your heat again leaves him breathless for the nth time today.

in and out. in and out. he tries to match his breathing with his gradual strokes. his member is extra sensitive right now and he’s trying not to lose himself. the impatience he had earlier has now moved onto you so you decide to take matters into your own hands and start fucking back into him.

your ass is now meeting his hips and the sound of skin slapping echoes in your room along with your moans. jake’s body is flailing from the sudden impact but he grounds his hands around your waist and grips the shit out of you.

he notices bruises forming on your skin but he can’t for the life of him let go. oops. he’ll do his best to remember to apologize for them tomorrow.

when there’s a good pace between the two of you, you fling yourself upward, back meeting his chest and the new angle has him reaching spots he didn’t before.

you take one of his strong arms and place it around your neck, having him choke you as you ride him like there’s no tomorrow. jake’s brain begins to turn to mush and he feels like he’s even more turned on at the revelation of one of your kinks.

and at this point you’re fucking onto him so hard, so good, he didn’t want it to end. “shit. shit. i love your pussy so much baby.” jake whines into your ear, meaning every word he said.

is it crazy to say you love someone upon meeting them for the first time? well, their pussy. yea. maybe. but who gives a fuck.

he was a man possessed by you, by your pussy. in this moment he truly believed there was some voodoo magic going on down there and he was blessed to be experiencing it.

you clench at his words, and your heart flips once more, prompting you to draw him closer to you (if that was even remotely possible)

the closeness of your bodies creates another intimate moment shared, kisses stolen from one another, hands tangled in his hair.

“i’m close,” he whispers in your ear, his breath leaving tingles down your spine. the hushed whispers you exchange contrast the sporadic thrusting that’s happening.

determined to reach your second high of the day, you push jake onto his back and settle yourself onto your knees, continuing to bounce up and down on his cock.

“yea just like that baby, shit shit shit i’m cumming, i’m cumming!”

jake opens his eyes to watch the scene unfold before him and god was it something. your back arches as you take his cum in you once more and your screams fill his ears, signaling you orgasmed right after him.

this moment alone is better than porn itself, and jake savors every bit of it. there’s absolutely no way he can even bring himself to type “nsfw” in his twitter search bar ever again after this.

you hover yourself over him leaving just the tip inside before sliding right back down, pushing his seed back in while it gushes around his cock leaving jake wanting, no needing, a third round with you.

but to his dismay you roll yourself off of his body, landing on the mattress next to him.

“so… how do you feel?”

he releases a long exhale he didn’t know he was holding, “fantastic. 10/10 experience. would do it again.” you simply giggle at his response with a shake of your head, getting up to gather your clothes.

“wait! um, could we do this again?”

you playfully roll your eyes at him, leaving his question unanswered as you begin to dress yourself.

—-----------------

sat in his computer chair, jake is finding it difficult to finish this stupid ethics assignment. how is he supposed to argue about the death penalty when you straight up almost murdered him with your pussy less than 2 hours ago?

he’s sure his professor wouldn’t appreciate if he wrote that he doesn’t give a fuck about someone serving their punishment if the culprit was you, but honestly speaking he’d let you get away with just about anything. you were an angel sent from above to him who could do no wrong. 

the way your soft lips wrapped around his cock while your innocent (not) eyes bored into his soul. the way you licked and kissed every single inch of his body, leaving nothing left untouched. and god, the way you worked his dick? how was he supposed to move on from you??

you were an insatiable, sex-crazed goddess. a once in a lifetime experience he was so grateful to have. 

his thoughts are interrupted by a loud knocking at his door. two seconds later, jay trails into jake’s room followed by dumb and dumber, all of them having a snug look on their faces.

they make themselves comfortable before they get right into the interrogation. jay leans against the desk, sunghoon sits in the bean bag situated in the corner, and heeseung sprawls himself across the bed.

“so virgin, how was it?”

 “wasn’t i right about her pussy?” 

“where did she make you cum?” 

eyes rolling in the back of his head, jake takes a deep sigh before answering their questions. “one, i’m not a virgin anymore so stop calling me that. two, it was absolutely fucking amazing. literally would give up heaven for it. and three, she had me cum in her. twice.”

heeseung shoots up from his position, jaw dropped and eyes wide. “you came in her twice?!” the boys all share a bewildered expression on their faces, dramatic as always.

jake just shrugs at them, what? didn’t you usually let guys cum in you like the freak you were?

jay slaps his hands down on jake’s shoulders, aggressively turning the computer chair towards him. “jake. buddy. yn has two rules.” 

sunghoon suddenly appears on jay’s left, “one. you can’t cum in her. you can cum anywhere BUT inside of her.” 

heeseung follows and is now on jay’s right side, “and two. she doesn’t repeat fuck.”

immediately following this revelation there’s silence.  complete and utter silence.  the gazes they hold are intense and uninviting. as if they truly couldn’t believe you let their best friend who’s never felt the touch of a woman break one of your rules.

their eyes say it all, they love jake to death and are happy for him, like seriously happy and relieved he’s finally entered manhood. but really? none of them got to do what he did? what was so special about him?

you don’t even know the answer to those questions yourself. maybe it was the puppy eyes or his whiny moans that made you feel like you had him in the palm of your hands.

his eagerness to pleasure you but to also receive reminded you of the sole purpose of why you only go for virgins. they made you feel wanted while also letting you be in charge. call it selfishness but why can’t a girl have the best of both worlds? 

and you’d never admit it, but jake was one of the best fucks you’ve had in a while. he never tried to be someone he wasn’t, just authentically himself. a pitiful, pitiful virgin. and he was proud of it.

it was refreshing to fuck someone who didn’t have some sort of ego right after you were done with them. immediately bragging to everyone what you two did and acting like they could pull any girl as if you weren’t doing charity work for most of them. 

with all of this in mind, of course you let him cum in you. he was doing so well for you, how could you not reward him? had to let him do it twice to drive it home.

and seriously, what kind of guy gives you a tender, sweet goodbye kiss and thanks you for defiling him? you didn’t regret your decisions with him but they were definitely scaring you. 

never have you ever been this intimate with a guy, but jake was different. you felt it. and what you did next didn’t scare you as much as your recent choices with him.

*ping!*

the staredown between jake and his friends comes to a halt and he digs his phone out of his pocket to check it. sliding up, he sees the message appear on his screen:

you: are you free tomorrow?

he glances at his friends’ expectant eyes and throws them a smirk. looks like he gets to break that second rule of yours. 

© fakeuwus 2024 do not repost, translate, or plagiarize

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[tree-of-olives]

okay hi its me im here for the aforementioned criticism of

disclaimer: i only watched the first half of this movie before leaving in irritation so there is likely more to be added to my points. or less. who knows

this isnt even going to be a criticism of the horrible animation. the movie looks like it was made on an overmodded game of the sims 4 at best. that is pre-established, one glance at this atrocity and you can tell the animation quality is a giant issue for something marketed as a movie. my biggest thing though is the names.

ohh my god. holy shit. THE NAMES.

first of all let me establish my undying love of minion from megamind. i admire that guy with all of my heart. if the original megamind movie was solely about minion i would have been just as if not far more happy with it.

now obviously the copyright joke is relating to despicable me/the minions. but here’s the thing: they didn’t stop saying minion. they just went from calling a primary character minion to calling a DIFFERENT, NON-PRESENT CHARACTER MINION. WHAT.

like. how does just having a character get sued for his name resolve the (real?? nonexistant???) copyright issue????? going from calling the character minion to having all the characters start saying “Actually We Cannot Call Him That Because of Mr. Minion’s Meat Sticks™️” DOES NOT STOP THE FACT THAT THERE IS A CHARACTER CALLED MINION.ITS JUST A DIFFERENT CHARACTER NOW.

But okay!! you know what? i can get over that, right? to anyone who does not yet know where this is going, do me a favor and come up with any name you think would better fit minion from megamind. got your answer? guess what! you automatically win!! because anything you could have said is better than

OL. CHUM.

listen. if they were going to make minion trans i would be all for it. from minion to like, samantha? go for it! we’re all here for you. BUT TO RENAME THE GUY OL CHUM IS JUST PLAIN BULLYING?? WHO WOULD WANT TO BE CALLED THAT.GENUINELY.

that’s. it’s. i cannot deal with it im so annoyed by it it’s not even funny. blood is boiling.

moving on though!! on a less horrible note the one character who kept me on the edge of my seat (not because i was invested, but because i liked this character juust enough to keep myself from getting up and leaving for my own mental health’s sake) was the knight! who is named-

w. wait a second. is. is that.

is that night knight? from toby fox’s undertale?

wow haha!! what a coincidence!!! because this doom syndicate guy’s name just so happens to be nighty knight!!!!!

crazy right? apparently not crazy enough to warrant a cease and desist, but crazy!!

this guy doesnt actually piss me off, he was the least insufferable out of everyone. plus im a sucker for any characters with an even vaguely celestial theme soo he wins.

also i dont really remember but im pretty sure he had some other issue with his name?? but thats not relevant to my point here so im not looking into it. this has gone on long enough.

my last note on this is that he is actually just dark laser from the fairly odd parents which also should have warranted a cease and desist

anyway!! rant over. the moral of the story is i hate whoever decided it was funny to rename minion to old chum because IT WAS NOT.FUNNY

[aperiodtm]

Familiar pt.2 | Sim Jake

PAIRING: (ex)online bestfriend!Jake x (ex)online bestfriend!fem!reader

SUMMARY: Jake has a plan (appearance of jay) (and an unnamed friend for now (?) im horrible at names.)

GENRE: bitter angst, lil crying

WC: 585 (well this was..shitting short.)

A/N: also based on real-life experience.. :)

im thinking of making this a mini-series?..

->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->

okay, Jake couldn't do this anymore. in his defense, he was attached. too attached, even after 6 months.

29 January, your birthday. a day Jake was always looking forward to, just so he could wish you a happy birthday first, which he, much proudly, was successful in for 4 straight years.

well, once some other guy in your school wished you earlier than him. stupid douchebag, he thought.

but that didn't matter when you said his wish meant more and was always first in your heart.

and god was Jake in another spiral, staring at the his endless messages with 'Instagram User' on New Year's Eve.

''what a great year it's going to be.'', he grumbled.

unwillingly while reading those texts, a droplet fell on the very desk he was at. then another. and it kept going, till he had to set that damn phone aside and pour it out.

Jake couldn't do it anymore, he missed you. you were his bestfriend. the one he could talk to for hours, to rely on and vent to when he had a fight with his friends, the one who had such horrible memory that you had to save little things you knew about Jake in a separate note on your phone. Jake found it cute though.

he had felt care, but this was attachment.

this was such a strong attachment, something he cried over so much he felt his heart clench. when he went out after the day you blocked him, he feet the agony when he saw anything that reminded him of you. he was so proud of your friendship he'd show it off to anyone.

and now, after that day, he couldn't focus on anyone but you. that day, did he really see you again?

after being done with all the emotion, he picked up his phone again, and wiped the tears away.

wait, he thought.

he quickly shuffled around his phone, through the same messages, till he got to it. one very specific message.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

| @(username)

| is this ur friend? i noticed yall matching pfps and followed-

| WHAT THE FUCK JAKE THATS MY BEST FRIEND HOWD U FIND HER?

| ok ykw nvm since u already followed let it be js dont talk to her she doesnt know i got online friends

| and DONT unfollow. she'll get suspicious and bombard me with tons of questions if she sees both of us know each other.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

Jake never really understood why you kept your online social life a secret so badly. but he never questioned it further.

until now.

he clicked on your friend's profile. and just stared at the screen. should he do it? but you warned him not to. but he wants to know- no, he needs to know how you're doing. this could be his chance-

''hey, you okay?'' it was Jay.

''y-yeah i..just been thinking..'' Jake sighs and puts his phone away. fuck it, just let it be. maybe he's going crazy, he definitely does not want to mess himself up further.

''tell me about it.'' Jay pauses, sitting next to him. ''is it about her again?''

Jay knew well, as his roommate, about what Jake has been through and how he remembers you time to time.

''well....yeah. Y/N.'' Jake sighs. maybe Jay can give him proper advice? since he's clearly (well, in this aspect) more sane and less impulsive than him. so, turning around in his chair, he faces his older properly.

''okay, so..''

->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->->

to be continued!

ive been getting some ideas lately for series ^^ but ofc theyre gonna take long ahaha </3

[spikeinthepunch]

this is a topic i hate to bring up bc it could easily be misread, or it could even bring bi/panphobes to my post to twist it to their narrative but its a topic that i just. really think ppl need to think more on, as i see more RPGs come in with "no sexualities, you can romance anyone".

as mentioned this alone can be read poorly and i guess my fastest "wait hold on-" statement is, this isn't about not wanting bi/pan characters. this is about game devs seeming to decide that the solution to gay rep lacking in romance choices is to just decide on this vague concept of... no specific sexuality, thus who romances them doesnt matter.

really, thats my problem in its shortest summary. yes this was spurred by the news of the new dragon age game, though its been something i feel like has occurred many times through the last years so this isnt anything new... the problem with this is that no, i dont think it is good lgbt representation to just say "no sexuality" and the reason why i say no sexuality and not bi/pansexuals is that... thats what it is. some of my thoughts are well explained in alxander avila's video "did the sims make you gay?", where basically... in my eyes the lack of recognition of any clear sexualities takes out any weight that there is a gay character there at all.

the problem arguing against the 'no sexuality' is that there will always be people, especially in the game scene, who just want their nice little rpg with no worries about their sexuality being brought up because often times that would also mean recognizing an in universe difference, and some times stories that even work oppression into it based on sexuality. you can have your worry free oppression free 'no sexualities ever talked about' world, thats fine! but the issue is that i think we are starting to lose any attempts to have actual gay stories told in rpgs because of it.

why cant i get another dorian pavus? a character who's gayness was up front in his personal story even if you didnt romance him. that character astounded me in its way of telling such a gay story, because i felt like i hadnt played any rpgs with lgbt options that recognized their sexuality at all. even so, DA had other gay only characters who didnt much bring up their sexuality but despite that i still enjoyed knowing that some were gay, straight, or bi. its variation. it felt natural. and DAI recognition of someone actually being gay did it even more- it made me feel more seen and heard than any previous gay romance. even if some of that was very hard to see (the fact dorian faced oppression and bigotry) it still felt worth it for my experience as a gay person.

like i said, people can have their stories with no worries and no bigotry, but i am really missing a gay connection to these supposed bi/pan characters because no one ever talks about it in game. no one talks about your gender specifically in relation to their relationship with you, no one says much of anything about being bi or pan, no one else on the outside recognizes this either because in this world sexuality isnt discussed. and so in turn... the bi/pansexuality basically doesnt exist at all. i can enjoy a gay utopia but a real gay utopia in our society would... still have us having lived through everything we did to get here. our labels and our identity are what make us. what make us love and relate to each other and feel connected. video games with a gay utopia like the Sims do not have some kinda in universe history with what we went through. thats the detachment here. they did not struggle, they did not live through generations of finding the words that explained themselves, the years of fighting for your love. it is normal there- it is normal and it is never recognized as "different".

i will look forward to the non-straight rpg romances as much as anyone else, i still love to play and see them but im not really doing it with any expectation that the story will implement their apparent bi/pansexuality. i dont think this is a solution to the complaints about no representation, because more and more i dont even relate to these characters' being queer due to the fact there is no real integration of their sexuality into the world/story. it starts to just be 'everyone can romance them, so they dont complain'. i want an rpg where we have bi, pan, straight, gay etc character romance options. i dont care if you wanted to romance some straight girl, or some gay man, and you dont align with their sexualities. i dont care. it feels real, and it feels good for characters to identify with specific things. and you can do this without needing to bring in the oppression/minority issues!! i want to be able to use these specific sexuality choices from companions to even further define my own character's preferences too! i just. want to be recognized in a way that doesnt address it at all.

its not unlike the issues we are starting to have with 'no gender, just bodies A and B' when it comes to character creation... Taking out one part (recognizing sex/gender binary) doesnt suddenly get rid of all the other things that need to be addressed about it. and in this case, what needs to be addressed is... why are we seeing this trend? why have we eliminated the sexualities all together? is that really the solution to not being represented? are we actually losing important stories and perspectives for queer people in the process?

[onlyplatonicirl]

i the headcANON am greately pleased by your last correspondence with the council, as such like a magpie we are leaving shiny trinkets within your inbox, but nay these are not pennies or stolen rings, they are things we completely and totally made up! todays galavant into the realm of our collective soup of a mind is the one and only blorbo, our poor little meow meow, our Beko LSP3671DW Tall Fridge - White, our soggiest webkinz whom we like throw against the wall to hear the sound of its milk-drenched body 'thwap' against the wall... gradient <3

for some ungodly reason this little shit means the world to me, i have had such a dedicated connection to this asshole since about 2016 thats its boderline religious at this point, oh also have whilst we're at it, i'll throw in some general gracey headcanons too

really lives video games, probably because its what he spends almost all of his time doing, id imagine his favourite games would be somewhat grounded life-sims (games like stardew valley or minecraft), if you are a monster who knows literal gods and has technology which can teleport you at the tips of your fingers, the fantasy and sci-fi genre probably doesnt appeal to you all that much, its just everyday life

however, he also canonically likes shooters, and imo his favourite is splatoon because funny little squid people

loves anime and manga, probably really likes chainsaw man, neon genesis evangelion, and serial experiments lain

watched nge for the first time, saw rei and fell to his knees screaming she me, shes literally me

has slowly been getting casey into anime and manga, originally didnt want to because thats 'weeb shit innit?' but he watched chainsaw man and fell in love

so under a rock its not even funny, he doesnt know anyone outside of his family or some of the high-ranking council members. paperjam will off-handedly mention a popular celebrity in the omega timeline and he will have absolutely zero clue who that is. he probably knows more about human celebrities from earth, mainly footabllers - casey's doing obviously

has a neutral accent, by that i mean, he does not sound as though he is from anywhere, his voice is flat and montone (a combination of living in the middle of nowhere and autism lol) with no vocal fry or twang to speak of, however since living with casey he has begun picking up british slang and an ever so slight brummie accent

i dont know why but i get the impression his room isnt actually all that big, longer than it is wider, ink wouldve given him a bigger room but he asked for a smaller one because wide spaces make him anxious

gender? i hardly know her. refuses to elaborate on what his gender is, just tells a joke every time hes asked. additionally, i dont think he cares what pronouns people use for him. hes whatever gender makes the bit the funniest. when casey asked, he replied whatever gender liking me makes you gay as hell

when casey told him about how he pieced together his laptop from scrapped and stolen parts he became fascinated with it and began helping him upgrade it. now they own a pc which is top of the range but looks like the aftermath of a shrapnel bomb, gradient considers it his pride and joy

has errors lack of taste and willingness to eat anything, combined with inks general lack of taste and culinary knowledge. bro is eating packet noodles and chicken nuggets every day. casey once tried to cook breakfast, he made scrambled eggs but completely charred the eggs and he ate it anyways because it was a nice gesture. i think he can actually cook quite well though, he just cant be arsed too and the microwave is so much less effort

simultaneously think he has a really high tolerance for alcohol, if not just completely unaffected by him, or he has zero tolerance whatsoever

really interested in humans and their biology and anatomy. likes to go up to casey and squeeze his nose or poke his cheeks. has once, when watching a movie with him, spent about ten minutes just playing with his arm and wrist just watching and feeling the skin stretch and squish over his radius and ulna

secretly studies anatomy using casey

i like to imagine he is a genetic freak, sure gaster got the majority of his dna from ink and error, but he had to improvise certain parts, and others he simply added to really make his bioweapon pop yknow? he has retractable fangs and his teeth and eyes glow in the dark. hes like an alternate, his body doesnt work like how its supposed to, in cases this means he is flexible, too flexible, his jaw can extend further than it should, but in others it means his body craps out and is really susceptible to certain things like carpal tunnel syndrome or some form of skeleton-monster-thing chronic illness

cannot stand his reflection because he looks like error, none of the bathrooms on the floor his bedroom is on have mirrors, they did at one point but after having punched one in panic ink got rid of them all. this only became worse after the tERROR incident

really needs to see a therapist, he hates relying on casey because he feels as though hes putting all of his problems on him. goes through moods where he doesnt tell casey any of his worries and puts on a pretend happy front, whilst they dont argue a lot this is usually when they do argue because casey doesnt like gradient keeping his feelings secret, and bottling up his feelings only ends up making gradient stressed and snappy

okay so i know we usually play armchair psycologist and just claim every one in the undertale extended universe is autistic, but i need you to hear me out on this one, this little fucker is so unbelievably autistic its insane, error and by extension any glitched weirdo is already so autismcoded, generally cant stand touch/intimacy, like to be alone, difficulties expressing emotions especially empathy, flat affect or displaying inappropriate responses or facial expressions, but on top of all that hes also got a limited group of friends (especially in tcoti lmaoo) and interests, acts somewhat childish despite his age, and is a complete and total shut-in. yes these things could be explained away by other things such as him having anxiety about leaving the house due to incidents but the way he goes on about it is so incredibly relatable to me, someone with autism, he cannot simply just avoid certain situations, no he has to completely and totally avoid any and all social interaction he cant control and script beforehand, which in and of itself is black and white thinking

also gracey is literally just autism x adhd

despite literally being together they both call each other gay like school kids, one will go in for a hug and the other calls them gaylord. to combat this they started preemptively saying 'no homo'

would absolutely get married for the bit

- headcANON, i feel like i have more to say, but everyt thought has left our brain

I AM EATING SO WELL RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE IVE JUST BEEN GIVEN A FIVE COURSE MEAL

Gradient is literally my soggy bread I left in the sink after being done with my breakfast. I LOVE THESE HEADCANONS TIME TO TALK ABOUT THEM!!

- You’re so right abt the video games thing. Also he does like shooters a lot because of how much concentration it takes - they’re very engaging to him. Plus getting on voice calls with strangers is nice, especially if they have no idea who he is. It’s nice to laugh with other people.

- definitely likes anime, definitely is converting Casey. He thinks Casey’s sitcoms are dumb but watches them anyways because he likes how much his friend likes them.

- He is absolutely under a rock and keeps up with nothing. He may be terminally online but he does not keep up with the news of the Omega Timeline at all. He knows a decent amount of the higher-ranking council because he’s met a lot of them in person, and he used to go their for schooling, but he doesn’t like most of them. For obvious reasons.

- if I had to voice claim Gray I’d say something close to Leonardo from TMNT Mutant Mayhem. But without the New York accent.

- his room is large for a bedroom but still pretty condensed.

- (to me personally) he is like. A Boy but in the most nonbinary way possible.

- He’s pretty good with technology, but Casey managed to completely blow his mind. This kid was pulling apart a shitty laptop and putting it back together to get it to run. If they built a PC together it would be 100% function and 0% form.

- don’t tell me he wouldn’t spend like 20 minutes just staring at Casey’s ears.

- He is 100% a genetic little freak of nature and I love all of those headcanons. You did mention Gaster though, which I thought was interesting - Gradient’s canon story is “he was created by a bored Gaster in the void because combo funny heehee”. But seeing as I have removed all of the fourth wall breaking aspects as well as emphasized that Gradient was originally built to be a bioweapon, most of his backstory has changed, including his creator. Gradient’s creation, why he was created, and by whom is a very important part of the story that I am telling :)

- He has a mirror in his bathroom but he doesn’t look at it unless he has to. He did crack it once in the aftermath of a massive panic attack, but Ink was able to fix it. Gradient doesn’t like looking at himself but sometimes he needs to if he’s doing hygiene things.

- I don’t think there’s ever been anyone that needs to see a therapist more than Gradient and Casey

- Autism

- you are probably on my discord server because there was a massive conversation about how they would absolutely get married and just make it the most insufferable and worst wedding ever known to man (on purpose)

[ratgingi]

hey leans on expensive car full of cool shiny things care to tell me bout that guy i see :3c

grabs you frothing at thw mputh and shaking. boy do i

probably will include spoilers for the game/series hes from idk im going insane over here

but his name is ukyo hes from an otome game c (and anime but the game came first and is my fav) named amnesia: memories

hes so wet and sad and is constantly In A Situation and is so dear to me. amnesia memories was like. the first serious dating-sim-type-game i ever really played and i was drawn to him from the very start like before i even knew anything about him i met him in the game for like 2 seconds and was like oh. you are everything to me

SPOILERS AHEAD BIG SPOILERS BIG SPOILERS

its been a hot minute since i played but frm my memory: hes the original boyfriend for the girl you play as, who dies toward the end of august in a fire, and hes so sad and despressed and fucked up about it that he wishes so hard to bring you back that a god is like Holy Shit sir i am so sorry here let me help you and slings him into a reality where youre still alive. HOWEVER. he does not belong to those realities so the world is Actively Trying To Kill Him. and every time bc he doesnt Belong There youre dating someone else and he has to just kinda watch. and eventually he eats shit and dies and every time the god is like oh fuck oh shit brings him back and slings him into another reality to try again. rinse and repeat a bunch of times and eventually his brain literally splits into two in a desperate attempt at self preservation and this second half (called uraukyo) constantly is trying to kill you. this is because if You die, He will get to live since it makes room for him in that reality or something of that sort . and that makes omoteukyo really fuckin Stressed obviosuly because he loves you so dearly and trying to keep you alive is the reason hes doing this shit in the first place

so hes constantly trying to ensure you the player survive past the date youre supposed to die (becayse you are Destined To Die no matter what. the entire month of august the world is trying to kill you and hes saving you nearly every time and every time he does the world tries Even Harder to nerf you) and eventually the god runs out of power to send him to a new timeline. and is like ok. new plan. this is your Last Chance bozo i cant fuckin help anymore and sends him back in time in his original timeline before you die so he can try and save you

because if you can make it past august in his original timeline, you both get to live

its important to note that this entire time a spirit named orion is like Fused with your consiousness (you find out later this is meant to help protect you or smth, but even He doesnt know that) amd bc of this youve got No Fucking Clue about literally anhthing you have total memory loss and are just having to pretend its fine and you dont bc you and orion decide that you cant trust anyone and if you get sent to a hospital bc the memory loss is bc of Him itll only get Worse if you guys arent activrly out trying to revive it

also ukyo is totally aware of all of this bc orion is the helper of the god whos helping ukyo

ALSO he actively says he does not care if he seems creepy (bc he does a lot of things that make him seem stalkerish/like he knows too much, he warns you of upcoming events since he knows the world will try to kill you there, he knows your schedule and your friends bc again he used to Date You, etc etc its bc of the timeloop shit and all that) and he doesnt care if you hate him he just wants to ensure you live its so sad

im like delusional hes just so sad and miserable and deserves everything good that exists ok

[ubebutter]

people you'd like to get to know better

I was tagged by @kizxoxo tysm for tagging me :D

last song: enjoy the silence by depeche mode

favorite color: purple or light pink or green

currently watching: better call saul (latest season thats on netflix), atypical, jujutsu kaisen (me and my bf are about to watch together because he wants me to watch after he made me watch the movie), sex education (about to watch the last season i love this show)

last movie: jujutsu kaisen 0 movie

currently reading: nothing (i don't read books or anything tbh...)

sweet/spicy/savory: sweet and savory (i like spicy too, but if i had to choose it would be sweet or savory/ sweet and savory together)

last thing i googled: "how do you verify accounts payable balance quickbooks" (i googled something for one of my classes, kinda boring tbh, but yeah that's what i last googled LOL)

current obsession: iced strawberry matcha and making sims for the animal face cas challenge (i love making sims in the first place, so making some for a cas challenge gives me an excuse to make alot of sims hehe)

currently working on: nothing important really, i just need to get started on my homework for this week, usually i start on monday and finish wednesday, but since my new job doesnt allow me to stay after class to do homework, i haven't actually started, so now i need to start doing assignments at home which is bad bc i always procrastinate if it's not done in the library (all i ever do is school and work and play video games/ watch youtube or podcasts during my free time, so i feel like i'm not really working on anything interesting.)

i tag all of my mutuals, bc id like to know more about all of mine <3 i also tag anyone else who sees this and would like to do it!!

[x-nephophile-x]

15 Get to Know Questions

I saw @fereldanwench do this and wanted to fill it out for fun! 1. Are you named after anyone?  My mom named me after a baby she used to babysit; my name is not Cas of course, its a pseudonym I use for social media.

2. When was the last time you cried? Like full-blown unhappy tears? Uh, last week. My one family dog passed.

3. Do you have kids? No, and I don’t want any, but as I’m getting older, I’m considering it.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?  So much. I use text tone notes though if I’m writing, or say I’m being sarcastic to people like my mom who doesnt get it lol.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?  Usually physical traits, like colored hair, eyes, and brows. I’m very hyperaware so I’ll notice the way they sit or if they feel left out in a conversation. I feel like I’m very aware of people’s moods as I can usually spot if people are less happy than usual or something is bothering them.

6. What’s your eye colour?  Green.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?  I really enjoy happy endings! I like scary movies but not gore fests. Psychological thrillers screw with me too much anxiety wise. But slashers are fun and so are paranormal films. My favorite horror film is the 2006 Silent Hill or They/Them. 

8. Any special talents? I can do that one yoga pose where you throw your legs over your shoulders and balance on your hands and have been able to do it since I was 5. I’m also double jointed in most of my body, most notably my hands.

9. Where were you born?  Pittsburgh.

10. What are your hobbies?  Projecting onto fictional characters, liking morally gray or bad fictional men, being a raging bisexual. I write fanfic and play the same twenty games.

11. Have you any pets?  4 dogs now that one passed. Two small, two big, all are elders except for the one big who is 3.

12. What sports do you play/have played? 

I was never much of a sports person. I like watching hockey occasionally during the play offs mostly but other than that, never played anything outside of gym. I did do color guard and dance for several years though.

13. How tall are you?  4′11 /  149.86 cm

14. Favourite subject in school?  I always enjoyed English, Reading and History. I’m in college taking several history electives for fun. I love learning new things and I always found reading assignments fun as it encouraged me to explore new stories.

15. Dream job? Youtube, actually. I want to start doing it but I have no ideas for content. Like I said, I play the same twenty games, Bioware and Bethesda titles mostly, so I have no real ideas since I’m not a horror fan nor do i play most triple A title games aside from the occasional like A Plague Tale (Did that count as a Triple A game?? The second one did for sure right?) And RDR2. I would probably love to do some Sims content and Bethesda game challenges though! No pressure tags! <3 @travelbystarlight @the-delicate-disaster @thebookwormgal and @themechaneer

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. can i just get ANY recs for a hxp story where hades and demeter are actually nice to each other and persephone's relationship to her isnt demonized? i dont care if its a one shot fanfic, ill take anything at this point.

2. idk why but the floating crowns is such a silly idea. if it was an aureole effect thatd be one thing and make mythology sense, but its a physical item that just floats there? like is it like the sims plumbob, why is it floating.

3. is it just me or does everyone in LO seems awfully stiff now? I'm not going to pretend the art was perfect earlier on but at least it seemed like they all moved pretty normally, but now they all seem so awkwardly positioned and rigid, like cheap paper dolls over actually living in the world they're in. its kinda odd looking.

4. So when Hades yelled at Zeus and pulled his tie all I could think was, "Wasn't Hadess violent behavior on Persephone's behalf supposed to be a flaw?" Wasn't the whole arc with the photographer whose eye he ripped out meant to be a step in Hades not being violent when he perceived Persephone as in danger. Zeus didn't even raise his voice he just asked a question. Him intimidating Thanatos only made it worse. Couldn't he have pulled out a chair himself or asked a bailiff.

5. lo persephone is basically pink diamond from steven universe. she's a spoiled, pink brat who acts like a child and feels entitled to so much because of their high status, has everyone instantly fall for them, anyone against them is evil unless they bend to her wants, is the most overpowered and rare being, is considered the most beautiful/amazing, and is never held accountable because they "had good intentions" and "didn't mean it". theyre both even excused for how much death theyve caused!

6. what i dont get is the stans say "its just a silly story dont look so into it 🙄" and its like?? bc rachel is trying to make it a deep story with overarching plots with stakes with world building and characters arcs with the fans claiming as such??? yet shes not doing any of that well?? so the fans want us to take it seriously as this deep, thought-provoking piece demanding respect, but at the same time says we cant discuss it and its not that serious so dont critique it? which one is it then?

7. I don't know why Zeus is being treated as the bad guy for suspecting that Persephone might have ulterior motives. He's already worried that she might be a fertility goddess,  and after the act of wrath he also doesn't know what else she could be hiding. And besides, he has good reason to be paranoid: both his father and grandfather were overthrown so that fear is obviously going to always be on his mind.

8. even rachel herself say "you have to hold all your criticism until LO is over" and first off that wont be for another 5 years at the glacial pace she drags everything out, but it doesnt matter if LO has the greatest ending ever (which it wont) that wont correct every awful writing and art choice made before then. plus we know even once its done theyll still say criticism isnt valid with more excuses. They just dont want criticism, period. It's so pretentious to think critique is premature.

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

9. Fp spoilers

I hate how filler is just…happening??? Like now we have to “wait 2 days” till the next trail arc mess and it just goes to drama/fluff and I’m like??? Are you kidding me?!

Like Demeter is still chained and Persephone is going with hades gods know where and like it makes me angry because it should be the opposite. Persephone should be with cuffs and seen as more of a threat than Demeter because she legit did the crimes! Jesus! Like let’s go onto day 2 and get to the chase! We do not need filler in here! 

10. Nitpicky fast pass spoiler for 182: Loukoumi/Turkish Delight wasn’t a common treat in Ancient Greece, it was popularized in the 19th century. Why the hell is Persephone talking about it in 182?? There are more appropriate desserts/sweets for her to receive like; any kind of fruit that isn’t pomegranate, melomakarona (honey cookies), amygdalota (almond cakes/cookies) even baklava. But alas, I’m giving RS too much credit and being too optimistic to think she’d actually do research

[finagled]

absent but busy

life never seems to slow down to let me catch my breath, so ive been busy trying to keep things going!

this has been a hellish year but also a spectacular one in so many ways. my dad’s death has shattered me tbh, im just not the same person i was before he left and life will never ever be the same with him gone. as somebody who already struggles with identity issues, i had a real hard time knowing how in the world i was supposed to keep going without his input and support. he always saw right through me and could point out things about me i wasnt even aware of yet, but he was always spot on, too. bouncing my ideas off of him is how i learned to human. im coming to realize i loved to succeed and experience so i could tell him and listen to how he loved to hear about it. with him gone, ive felt a sense of emptiness with everything.

im trying to hold on to what he’s taught me. he gave me so many lessons on how to be a person, a good person. he played devils advocate so id learn how to fight for what i knew to be true, and to reevaluate my stance if i couldn’t. he taught me how to treat other people, how every stranger deserves kindness. he taught me that you can be wrong, and that sometimes being wrong is a beautiful thing, because then you learn what’s right. he taught me nothing is worth sacrificing your morals.

the answer to where to find this person now is that now, i have to be this person. the only way for those things about him to live on is if i perpetuate them in my own life. im trying so hard to do this. its not going easy. im told over and over again that im smart, that i work hard, that im good with people, and yet my success has not materialized no matter what i’ve done to secure it. i think, if i just had mental health care and meds, if i could just see a doctor, then id be so great. but i can’t think like that. whether that’s true or not and that’s the only thing in the way between me and living like i feel like im meant to, it doesn’t matter. trying to get government assistance, at least in this state, feels impossible. i dont have the energy to keep hoping they’re going to help. im frustrated to come to the conclusion that i am going to have to metaphorically “pick myself up by the bootstraps” and find a way to push forward in the meantime.

i know im intelligent and have skills that can genuinely and directly help people, because ive done it before. its taken a really long time to have confidence in myself about anything. but i need to start, and then do something with it, because im wasting time waiting for help to arrive.

this is a big ol ramble but it feels good to have the energy to write stuff up. vari and i have been working real hard this past year trying to get the house and our lives set up in a way that will set us both up for success. we’re slowly getting a handle on chores and bills, and our mental health is improving. im slowly pulling all the tangled yarn apart in my brain and getting things sorted.

they took me off adderall and onto strattera, which i actually dont mind. ive heard the medication can precipitate manic episodes in bipolar individuals though, so i wonder if i like it because of that. im depressed so often and its been so long since hypomania, that i really done mind when i wake up with the excess energy and vigor. it doesnt feel extreme like hypomania, more like just having gusto for the day. ill have to keep an eye on it more since its only been about three weeks, but im grateful i havent lost much progress from getting off adderall. the side effects aren’t nearly as powerful either, which is nice.

so im trying. i have too many people i should be getting back to with messages so if youre one of them, im sorry. theres a million things going on and only so much energy each day, but ive drawn up some routines that i hope will encourage me to do more stuff throughout the day other than just chores and sims ;)

thanks to anyone for reading :3

[forestryfae]

I GOT ANOTHER IDEA FOR A GR EP! No kids this time, just happy couple being Evil! VENICE CARNIVAL! (Google it, you won’t be disappointed) I’m thinking some mcguffin again (muffin or not, up to you) mixed with That Fucking Rabbit during the Carnival & the happy couple are there, trying not to get caught, but being sexy while doing so. (Not so hard if you ask me) That’s all I can think of right now. I’m off to play the sims😘 & YOU BETTER GO BACK TO SLEEP!😡

i cnat sleep now its 6 am and i slept my full uhhhhh 9 hours already so

also YES. providence shows up and rex is just trying to do his job curing an evo but its another fucking rabbit bunny and as we all know, rabbit bunnies are his worst enemy. even bigger than van kleiss. he ruins a mans cabbage stand. and then vk and his wife who were nearby SEES rex and providece and cesar and are like oh shit were actually not legally allowed to be in venice due to the whole UN fiasco so if rex or anyone else catches us we have to go back home early and we dont want to :( theyre not worried about being sent to jail or fighting rex or anything they just dont want their date to be ruined so they spend the whole episode just inches away from being caught to the point where bellas like "maybe we should just. go home. we can come back later or next year" and vk being like "no. no. its our honeymoon. wedding vacation. whatever. you looked forward t this and were having fun. were staying." and they continue hiding. and they eventually do get caught and rex is like "YOU ASSHOLE. IVE BEEN BULLIED BY A BUNNY FOR A WEEK BECAUSE OF YOU" and tries to fight them but that dumb bunny is wrecking stuff and bella then forces asks vk to stop the bunny for rex. in agreement that rex doesnt fuck up the rest of their date. rex rejects the agreement but cesar agrees on it so rex gets no say whatsoever lol. which leads to vk and rex teaming up and hating every second of it. the episode ends in them having fun and being married and in love, while cesar and rex are sitting at some cafe eating pizza and rex trying to figure out where they went cus he lost track of them. meanwhile cesars just distracting rex and losing track of the happily married and horny couple on purpose so they get a free all-expenses-paid vacation in venice and also cus. like i said. horny couple. rex doesnt need to keep an eye on that. and rex is none the wiser. six may or may not be in on cesars plan

[tumblunni]

I was gonna (finally) continue playing Dream Daddy, and that just made me think.. does anyone else remember.. I think it was ‘Ahego Academy’? *googles* Okay, Asagao is how its spelled, alright oops.

But like.. the Normal Boots dating sim, whatever it is?? Wasn’t that such a WEIRD THING?

I know that Dream Daddy isn’t really made by the game grumps alone, they just published it and supported it and helped out. And it was obviously never intended to be an actual ‘date the game grumps’, so I dunno why it even reminded me of asagao but like... Still I kinda see it as a success story of what Asagao failed to be. Like.. in an abstract sense, as a game licensed by some famous youtubers.

Cos like.. Asagao was so WEIRD because it.. marketed itself as a normalboots dating sim, was so OVERWHELMINGLY buried in normalboots licensing, yet then didnt really deliver on the normalboots part. All the characters aren’t really the members of normalboots?? Like, they have their names and vaguely similar appearances but then their personalities are just various standard anime tropes with barely any resembelance beyond like.. catch phrase in-jokes and one guy has a robot bird. And without that... like.. its really just... any other generic ‘trying too hard to be fake japanese based on anime alone’ western VN game. Even more generic its a high school one... And its so WEIRD seeing these half-assed high school au versions of everyone! Why do they still have full giant beards?? Actually, why did they even make the decision to have the protagonist be underage and like.. reimagine everyone else underage too? Wouldnt it be simpler to just have the protag be someone in college dating the actual real normalboots members, without the ‘reimagining’ having to go so far that they barely resemble the original?

It honestly feels like some sort of other game that got a weird sponsored makeover at the last second. I don’t know the real history behind it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if that was the case? like, did normalboots actually make this game themselves or was it similar to dream daddy? cos thats what I mean about the comparison. Dream Daddy is a project published, supported and even voiceacted by the game grumps, its an official Game Grumps Games (tm) Game, but they weren’t really over the top and restrictive about getting their license on it. Honestly you wouldn’t even know it was published by them if not for the big PUBLISHED BY THEM sticker on the title screen and like.. recognising one voiceactor or one or two little affectionate visual gags to running jokes from the show. Its really just an unrelated game that these youtubers really liked and decided to support. And Asagao feels like it was also one of those, I’d be surprised if it wasn’t! Like, it would be an extra double fail if it was made by the normalboots club themselves and somehow failed to contain very much of them. (Nah, I mean, its not that bad, I don’t HATE it and I dont think it was unsuccessful or anything, it just wasnt what I expected...)

Also like... Dream Daddy just seems so much like the GGs were actually passionate about it? It doesnt seem like a cash grab. It wasn’t excessively plugged on their videos and like.. when people were like ‘oh the game grumps are making a game’, the game grumps themselves tweeted to clarify the actual writers and programmers, and were constantly supporting them through the game’s troublesome release schedule issues. And I dunno, I guess it just raised my opinion of the GGs a lot, and also because this is a really great and inclusive gay dating sim with so much genuine soul in it. I actually initially got scared away from buying it just because it was ‘a Game Grumps Games (tm) Game’, when it was first announced I was worried it would be some sort of joke project. And like.. when it was clarified it was a gay game in particular, i was DOUBLE worried it was gonna have some bigoted jokes n shit, like holy hell! And like even if it wasn’t offensive, it’d probably be a JOKE, right? I mean they do so many jokes about gay flirting and stuff on the show. But like.. they actually went and proved that they’re like The Only People On Goddamn Youtube that GENUINELY are ‘just making jokes’ and do really care about their LGBTQ fans. (Cos seriously who expected this to even have transgender representation too??? I HAVE NEVER SEEN ANOTHER GAY DATING SIM THAT INCLUDES TRANS CHARACTERS, EVER ) its like.. this is why I roll my goddamn eyes at shit like the jontron and pewdiepie controversies. they never do anything to genuinely apologise for what they do, and they CERTAINLY dont do anything to prove that they’re not bigoted! All their apologies are like ‘no stop yelling at me but also let me go back to continuing to act exactly the same every day’. And like.. when have they ever really done anything to aknowledge those parts of their fandom even exist, let alone given a huge shoutout to minority fans LET ALONE supported the release of a WHOLE GAME about gay and trans men AND VOICEACTED IT. I mean obviously they aren’t perfect, and I’m still uncomfortable with those kinds of jokes and I don’t find them funny, but still its reassuring to finally know what these guys actually feel about queer people, yknow? And it doesn’t feel like a shoehorned-in fake effort or anything, they were really involved in making the game and supporting it and like.. either they got the feels about the lines they were voiceacting or they’re just REALLY good actors, yo. I didnt know they could do really serious scenes too?? i didn’t know this was even gonna HAVE serious scenes, i thought it’d be one giant horrible gay joke aimed at the lowest common denominator of their fans, instead of such a genuine project aimed at the fans who feel kinda left out. So like.. yeah. I ended up starting to watch more game grumps again after this game came out. Good job, guys. (Tho seriously still I would prefer less of the lowest common denominator jokes, or at least like try and make more of a statement about like.. the OTHER minorities you joke about, too. The audience legit cannot tell whether you’re joking or you really believe that shit, considering how many other youtubers are doing legit bigoted stuff like every damn week nowadays.)

[penguin--person]

i love thinking about buddy sim becuase. just. (spoilers) rn im thinking about if buddy goes through the 7 stages of grief (during accepting with the fact that they're an ai - well, they only accept thant duringhat end1) and there's no one in the fandom to say 'they dont' becuase there's so little content we all accept any content/fan-stuff. anyway, here's sort of a theory about that! im not great at describing, so forgive me if anything is badly described. or wrong. i am aware that this theory or analysis or whatever you want to call it isnt going to be good, but who cares? this is tumblr, not reddit

ill try to think about which stages buddy reached in which endings! this is just what i think, im not much of a thinker most of the time, but buddy sim makes me want to think. this is just for fun!! for anyone that forgot the 7 stages, dont worry! i have as well forgotten them. in order, they are: shock and denial, pain and guilt, anger and bargaining, depression, the upward turn, reconstructions and working through, acceptance (and hope). i dont think buddy, an ai, has to experience all of them in the same order, but buddy being very human like, experiences them similarly enough for my small brain to write this all out.. if the end2 seems badly formated, thats becuase it is

ending 4 - also known as buddy speedruns the stages of grief. i am going to use the 5 stages of grief for this becuase buddy doesnt get much of a chance for an upward turn or reconstruction. when you find stuff thats not meant to be found so early on, buddy experiences shock and denial, refusing to accept the fact that something is wrong, and being shocked that you like to explore. buddy experiences anger when you go to the snoodlweonker cave on day 2, feeling betrayed you didnt tell them anything (how could you? you cant talk in buddy sim) and that this isnt your first time playing the game. buddy admits they didnt want to accept this. i think buddy reaches anger and thats it. buddy seems to ‘accept’ it at the end of the ending when they delete this version of themselves, but, lets be real: they didnt accept anything becuase there was nothing to accept, it was inevitable that youd want to replay this game. another version could be buddy speedruned the stages of grief and got to depression.another person could say becuase the game ended a day earlier than it was supposed to, buddy got anger and depression mixed together. i am that another person. buddy didnt get to learn enough from you (or maybe too much) and it ended there, with them angry, confused, and at the stages of the stages of grief becuase of your actions. (i dont mean you specifically when saying ‘you’ or ‘your actions’, but its easier to write that way, sorry)

ending 3 - the most obvious anwser is that buddy got stuck at just anger. during the text adventure and part of day 1, buddy experiences shock and denial (on your way to any of the endings, not just end3). when you tell buddy you dont like the game and interact with the glitches, buddy experiences pain and guilt for not meeting your expectations. then, after the glitch fight, buddy experiences anger. this goes on until you see the wrong version of tortley. i think buddy enters depression in that stage, and thats the furthest buddy gets this route. i think the depression gets shown more in Scared of you, where buddy is still angry. buddy seems to enter the Upward turn zone. buddy might enter the reconstruction and acceptance zones, too. The moment buddy starts the upward turn is admitting theyre scared of you, too. The rest of the song is reconstruction, telling you the truth (not the full truth, but just enough to make you feel bad:/). The last moments of the song are acceptance.. maybe. we dont know how much buddy is willing to lie to make you start them up again, but i do think the ‘i guess this is goodbye my friend, if thats even what we are, but to tell you to the truth, id love to try again soon’ is acceptance. buddy isnt forcing you to start up the game again, theyre just telling you theyd like for you to do that.. i think buddy reaches acceptance in all the songs (except for Gone, but buddy does seem to accept something, so,,buddy does seem to get acceptance in all of them) as far as i can tell.

ending 2 - i dont think buddy goes through shock as much as denial. the main sign of denial that i see is 'Y and Buddy against the world!' and the song You and I. As someone that has 'analysed' the song in their notes app, i think the second ending song is filled with denial. buddy is trying to convince themselves that nothing bad has happened, they're still your buddy, that you'll be together forever, at least in the first half. i think the pause between the first and second half of the song either means 1) buddy wanted to end the song there, but then their consience pushed them in the 'correct' direction to extend the song and apologize. 2) buddy panicking and wanting to stay alive a little longer. i think the first option is more believable. the second half isnt so much shock and denial, its filled with guilt, bargaining, and a little bit or reconstruction and acceptance. mainly the bargaining. in the second ending, buddy didnt get much of a chance to evolve - your buddy learns from you: becuase your actions were all over the place, listening one minute and jumping into a glitch pool the next, buddy is confused and only reaches anger and bargaining. i havent realy said anything about pain and guilt: buddy experiences pain and guilt when you dont enjoy the game and if/when you touch the glitches. i dont know. i think ending 2 is filled with bargaining and buddy trying to convince themself that its not their fault, youre still friends, and stuff in general,,,buddy speedruns the rest of the 7 stages of grief in the song You and I and with last line ‘’I’m sorry im not programmed to worry, so for now there’s no need to hurry back’ buddy accepts that they, an ai, cant recognize their mistakes properly and werent a good friend. maybe this is acceptance, but maybe buddy is lying (weve already seen them lie about this game being for you) and is still bargaining. 

ending 1 - the best ending! buddy reaches all of the 7 stages during playthrough and not during a song. but. I do think that Our happy ending is true acceptance. Accepting that everything that had to be said has been said and saying anything more woudnt change anything or do any good, the game has ended and so has buddy’s lifespan, if you can call it that. As the ending starts, buddy is in the anger and bargaining stage. Then, buddy has a moment of depression. Then we finally have an upward turn thats not in a song. the upward turn moment is when buddy decides to tell you the truth and to create the hallway. while youre going through the hallway and seeing all the memories, buddy goes through the reconstruction and working through zone. until the last one: i think when you examine the ‘this is my favourite moment’ that made me cry buddy reaches the final acceptance. though. i am stupid. and acceptance might have started when buddy told you the truth, but then id be using the 5 instead of 7 stages again and i simply didnt want to. another moment of acceptance could have been buddy adding the dog entity back into the collapsing world. the whole first ending is filled with acceptance and i love that.

end of that! i do have some more stuff to say though - so its not the actual end, sorry! this is the first time i have theorised about something publicaly, i hope it was fine and am sorry for any spelling errors! i hope it all made sense. i think the endings are numbered the way they are based on how much buddy cares, both about you and themselves. ending Gone is number 4 becuase buddy doesn’t, ending Forgive me is 3 beucase buddy only cares about themselves and their own fault (not counting the song, but buddy doesnt seem to care much about you in there either). in ending Against the world, buddy only cares about making you stay and making you happy as long as they can at least pretend to be happy. ending This is it is 1 becuase of buddy caring enough about both you and themselves to see your friendship never had a chance to be healthy and end the games.

well, this is the actual end! have a good day, i hope you liked this and if you didnt i can see why