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gusu-emilu · 4 years ago

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sometimes I forget (3/3)

chapter three: I only want to be a relief

Ship: Jiang Cheng / Wen Ning

Summary: Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng travel to Dafan Mountain to find the cure to Lan Wangji’s fever. Their animosity results in a very strained partnership, which only becomes more complicated when Jiang Cheng develops the fever too. But along the way, they address the scars that haunt them and find something new in each other.

<< Ch. 1 | < Ch. 2 | Bonus | Art

Post-Canon, Rated T - read on AO3 or on Tumblr below

“You have to take it.” Wondering if he should even give two doses of medicine, Wen Ning placed a hand on Jiang Cheng’s forehead to feel his temperature.

A look of raw pleasure appeared on Jiang Cheng’s face.

Wen Ning jerked his hand away.

Wen Ning stood still for a few moments, unblinking. The memorial in front of him loomed a bit larger, while Jiang Cheng’s hand in his own seemed to shrink.

You’re a good person, too, he wanted to say back. Maybe because he believed it. Maybe because it would simplify his thoughts if he could label this man as good or bad, instead of searching for a name with actual meaning. Or maybe just because it would be cruel to answer with silence.

But in the end, silence was all he returned.

Jiang Cheng’s hand shrank a little more.

He thought of how Jiang Cheng had been furious seeing Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji visit the shrine of Jiang Fengmian and Madam Yu in Lotus Pier, had lashed out at them. Jiang Cheng’s anger had been unjustified, built on a lie, but now Wen Ning could understand it.

If Jiang Cheng really was a good person, that was a thought Wen Ning could grapple with on his own.

It meant something else to say it out loud in these burial grounds, in front of the memorial of his family.

And what about himself? How could Wen Ning accept these words from Jiang Cheng after leaving Jin Ling an orphan, and failing to save Wei Wuxian from his own self-destruction? What position were they in to call each other good or bad, or anything at all?

“Doesn’t matter,” Wen Ning found himself saying, after such a long time that they should’ve forgotten what they were talking about. At some point their hands had separated.

“No,” Jiang Cheng said, his voice trailing off. “It doesn’t.”

* * *

They sat in the goddess’s cave, waiting for nightfall. The sun had lowered in the sky, but it would be many hours until they could harvest the Ever-Frozen Flower’s nectar.

Jiang Cheng had been surprisingly quiet. He was leaning against the stone wall and toying with Zidian with weak fingers, struggling to make a spark, curling his lips every time he failed. While he sulked in between attempts, his eyes rested softly on the medicine Wen Ning was preparing.

Too quiet.

He must’ve run out of things to criticize, Wen Ning thought.

But he couldn’t deny that the space between them felt different. Since summoning the goddess, Jiang Cheng’s combativeness had faded, and a solemnity had slipped between his feverish tremors.

Was the flu affecting his emotions, or had his behavior changed for another reason?

“Jiang Wanyin,” Wen Ning said as he handed over the medicine, as well as a small basin of water and a wet cloth for Jiang Cheng to cool himself with.

Water dribbled down from the cloth as Jiang Cheng massaged it into his forehead. “What?”

“Who told you where to find the cure?”

The cloth paused, covering one side of his face. “The goddess.” He rubbed the cloth on his neck, a little harder than before. “Who else?”

“That’s not what it seemed like.”

“Well, it was.” He swallowed the medicine, then shuddered at whatever foulness it must’ve tasted like.

Quiet but stern, Wen Ning said, “We’re working on this together, you know.”

Jiang Cheng met his eyes, then looked away and dunked the cloth in the basin of water. “I know.”

Wen Ning still felt like he was hiding something, but decided to drop it. If it were important, it would come up again. Several miraculous hours had passed since their shouting match, and Wen Ning wasn’t eager to provoke another one.

Besides, Jiang Cheng of all people should’ve known the dangers of keeping secrets.

Now that the last dose of medicine was gone, Wen Ning stood. “I’ll go to the village at the bottom of the mountain and buy some more. It won’t be as good as my clan’s, but it’ll still help.”

“Don’t bother,” Jiang Cheng said. “I’ll last.”

“We’ll be here for a while. There’s no cold spring to stifle the fever like Lan Wangji has at the Cloud Recesses. You need medicine.”

“I said, don’t bother.”

“I won’t be long.” Wen Ning headed toward the mouth of the cave.

“Didn’t you hear me?”

“What’s wrong?” Wen Ning turned around, irritated. “Why don’t you want to feel better?”

Jiang Cheng scowled. He tried to sit up taller, like he needed a better angle to yell at Wen Ning, but he just sank back into a slump. “Maybe I don’t think you should leave!”

Suddenly he looked small. His violet clan leader robes, the silver snake of Zidian, the sweat dripping down his brow, the pink flush in his cheeks. It all seemed to swallow him.

For the first time, Wen Ning realized that Jiang Cheng might have been scared. He was used to wielding power and prowess. Now he could barely hold himself upright. He couldn’t even make Zidian crackle.

If the cure didn’t work, in two sunsets time Lan Wangji—the spouse of another of his siblings—would die. And so would Jiang Cheng. Or, if he was fortunate, he’d lose his cultivation abilities, for the second time in his life.

He wants me to keep him company.

Now that Wen Ning knew, he wasn’t surprised. He just hadn’t expected Jiang Cheng to reveal it.

Something about the knowledge was…ironic.

Invigorating, even, if he ignored the possibility that the cure might fail.

“I’m going to get more medicine,” Wen Ning said.

“Stop doing things for me.”

“Whether I leave or not, isn’t that doing something for you either way?” Wen Ning smiled slightly. He wasn’t sure why, but this whole situation was starting to amuse him. Maybe they had been in this cave for too long.

“After that, I won’t leave Jiang-zongzhu all by himself again.”

“You—” Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened. He looked as embarrassed as Wen Ning had expected, and it sent a rush of satisfaction through him.

“Fine,” Jiang Cheng spat. “At least go to a bigger town than that backwater village, and buy better medicine.”

“I’ll go wherever I want.”

“Tch. Good.” Jiang Cheng crossed his arms, but it must’ve taken too much effort to hold them there, because he let them fall limp at his sides again. He flushed redder. “Please, take your time,” he said sarcastically.

“I will.”

Whatever strange exchange was happening right now, Wen Ning was enjoying it. He needed something to distract him from the grief he felt at the memorial, from the growing feeling of uncertainty about whether they’d find the ice-flower once night fell.

Watching Jiang Cheng try to hold together his crumbling dignity was an unexpected solution.

“Well? Are you going or not?”

Wen Ning nodded. “I’m going.” He strolled toward the mouth of the cave, an unusual spring in his step. “I’m just taking my time.”

* * *

On his way back from buying medicine, he searched through the western forest of Dafan Mountain to find the Ever-Frozen Flower. As he expected, there were only common weeds and wildflowers. Perhaps the ice flower was not visible until the coldest point of the night when it bloomed.

He hoped the flower would really be there.

Finally, night blanketed the mountain, and the goddess’s cave grew dark with somber shades of blue. Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng sat next to each other with their backs against the stone wall. Jiang Cheng was about to light a talisman.

“You d-don’t need to,” Wen Ning said. “You should sleep. I’m fine without light.”

The commonplace medicine from the village was not as effective as what Wen Ning had found on the mountain. This medicine was able to alleviate Jiang Cheng’s headache and soreness, but not the heat burning through his body.

Jiang Cheng had removed his outer robe to cool off. It hadn’t helped. At this rate, his hot breath was going to make the cave float into the sky like a paper lantern.

With a drowsy nod, Jiang Cheng fumbled with the talisman and tucked it back in his robes with shaking hands. His eyelids were heavy, but he didn’t look any closer to deciding to go to sleep.

“You really should rest. You were awake all day and the night before.”

After a long silence, Jiang Cheng adjusted his sweat-drenched robes and spoke, his voice weak and dry. “Do you sleep?”

“I’ll k-keep watch.”

Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Can you sleep?”

Wen Ning paused, surprised by the question. Outside of the slightly invasive remarks of the juniors, it had been a long time since anyone showed interest in what his life was like as a fierce corpse. Everyone was too uncomfortable with his existence to be curious about the details.

“I can,” Wen Ning said. “I don’t need to, though.”

Jiang Cheng shifted his posture. “…Is it any different?”

“Y-Yes, a little.” Wen Ning folded his hands in his lab, gently fiddling with his fingers. “I don’t dream anymore, and I don’t feel any different when I wake up.”

Jiang Cheng looked displeased by this answer. Or maybe he always looked like that. Wen Ning tried to smile and said, “You get used to it.”

Jiang Cheng scoffed. “Right. The way one gets used to anything.”

Despite how sharp his tone was, there was something fragile in his voice. Wen Ning wasn’t sure if they were talking about sleep anymore.

There was no reason for Wen Ning to keep talking, but there was also no reason to stop, so he continued. “At least there are other sensations for me to feel. I can eat and breathe, although I can’t taste or smell. But I can still see and hear the same as I used to.”

As he spoke, Jiang Cheng seemed to deflate next to him. He couldn’t tell if Jiang Cheng’s body was just relaxing or collapsing in on itself. He must’ve really needed sleep. Maybe if Wen Ning talked for long enough, he would drift off.

“Really, all I need is to see, hear, and move. Then I can spend time with people. I can see A-Yuan, and Wei Wuxian, and…” He almost said Jin Ling. That would’ve been a mistake.

The breathing beside him steadied. A sound of slumbering.

Guessing that Jiang Cheng was no longer listening, Wen Ning let his words flow without thinking. “I miss my sense of touch, though. I’d like to feel something softer when I pet Hanguang-Jun’s rabbits.” He sighed. “I used to like so many things. Folding clothes, rolling pebbles in my hands. Feeling the sun at full strength.”

He smiled an empty smile to himself. “I miss the feel of people. Sometimes A-Yuan hugs me. I know what it’s supposed to feel like, and it doesn’t feel like that.” He traced the palm of his hand with a finger. “It doesn’t feel like what it should to A-Yuan, either.”

His mind wandered to Wei Wuxian. Being resurrected in Mo Xuanyu’s body came with its own set of problems for Wei Wuxian, but at least he looked and felt alive to everyone around him. Was alive.

His voice darkened. “I’m sure it’s much better for Wei Wuxian to hug A-Yuan.”

“A-Yuan,” Jiang Cheng echoed.

Wen Ning flinched. Jiang Cheng really was listening.

But if he was honest, that was what he had wanted, wasn’t it?

Jiang Cheng worked his mouth for a few moments. “Lan Sizhui is the only thing left of your clan that you…need.” It sounded like a question.

Where did that come from? With a perplexed tilt of his head, Wen Ning said, “W-W-Well, yes, I think so.”

“Then I…I shouldn’t have said that.” Jiang Cheng’s voice was murky, his eyes downcast.

“Said what?”

There was no reply.

Sifting through his memories of the day, Wen Ning recalled standing the street of the village, the air filled with dust and Jiang Cheng’s scornful words. What kind of descendant doesn’t guard the relics of his own clan?

It had stung. It still stung. Wen Ning could defeat any opponent in battle, but he couldn’t save his clan. Couldn’t even recover their belongings from the village.

He didn’t want to, he realized.

The surname Wen had died with his clan, and he had no intention of restoring it.

That made him feel guiltier.

And what of Wen Qing? What was left of her? No one spoke her name anymore, not even to praise her skills as a doctor. There was no record of her talents and discoveries, for they were all wasted on Wen Ruohan, purposely forgotten by the world. And her breakthrough as the first surgeon to transfer a golden core—well, no one wanted to remember that, either.

They had no legacy. The only people still here to pray that the Dafan Wen found an afterlife were Wen Ning, A-Yuan, and Wei Wuxian. And maybe Lan Wangji.

Although, after visiting the memorial today…

Jiang Cheng would never earn a spot on that list. But the idea of him trying didn’t seem so bad.

Back in the dry yellow streets of Dafan village. A-Yuan is my clan now, Wen Ning had said. It had made Jiang Cheng fall silent, eaten up his disdain, forced him to retreat.

Jiang Cheng also knew what it was like to have nothing left but a child.

It was a pity that he did.

“Go to sleep,” Wen Ning murmured.

Jiang Cheng grunted and closed his eyes. This time he really did fall asleep.

* * *

When Jiang Cheng awakened, he began ripping off his clothes.

“Jiang Wanyin? What’s happening?”

He threw his inner robes to the ground and frantically tugged at his trousers. “I’m burning.” He choked on the words.

Wen Ning jumped up and carried over a basin of water. “Here, you should dri—”

Jiang Cheng dumped the water all over his body, then lost his grip on the basin and poured the rest at Wen Ning’s feet. He finished removing his trousers and sprawled out on the cave floor on his stomach, completely naked, using the wet rock to cool himself.

“I’m s-s-sorry,” Wen Ning said, trying not to look at Jiang Cheng’s bare body. “I prepared the medicine, but I didn’t want to wake you up to give it to you.”

Jiang Cheng flipped onto his back. His eyes were shut tight, and his skin glistened with sweat and the water he had spilled on himself. He spread his limbs farther apart, practically melting into the cave floor.

Wen Ning grabbed a vial of medicine. He knelt down alongside Jiang Cheng, fumbling with the vial’s lid. “Here, I’ll give you another dose now.”

Jiang Cheng opened his eyes, his gaze unfocused. “Tastes bad.” He sounded drunk.

“You have to take it.” Wondering if he should even give two doses of medicine, Wen Ning placed a hand on Jiang Cheng’s forehead to feel his temperature.

A look of raw pleasure appeared on Jiang Cheng’s face.

Wen Ning jerked his hand away.

The expression vanished. Something in Jiang Cheng’s hazy consciousness seemed to recognize that he’d behaved inappropriately, and his eyes darted away.

Wen Ning rested a hand on his forehead again. The look returned. Jiang Cheng’s shoulders relaxed, and his lips parted, a near-silent moan escaping from them.

Warmth.

Without telling himself to do so, Wen Ning slid his hand down to cradle the side of Jiang Cheng’s face. Jiang Cheng closed his eyes and turned into Wen Ning’s palm, until his lips were pressed against the edge of Wen Ning’s hand. He stared at Wen Ning through the corners of narrow eyes rich with pleasure.

Wen Ning almost melted.

No one had welcomed his touch so ardently before. Never like this.

He was a corpse. Even A-Yuan avoided his cold hands.

But Jiang Cheng was hungry for them.

And Jiang Cheng felt hot. So hot that even Wen Ning could enjoy the warmth with his muted senses.

Somehow, the fever did not make Jiang Cheng look sick. It gave him a strange, tortured beauty.

Wen Ning tore his hand away. “Y-You need to take medicine.” He reached for the vial.

“Doesn’t help,” Jiang Cheng groaned. He grabbed at Wen Ning’s hand, but missed.

Wen Ning paused. Slowly, he lowered his arm and let Jiang Cheng take his wrist, heat rushing up his arm all the way to his shoulder. Without breaking eye contact, Jiang Cheng guided Wen Ning’s hand to place it on his collarbone. Jiang Cheng’s chest swelled up and down with deep breaths.

“You’re so cold.” His words were slurred.

“D-Do you…like—”

“It feels good.”

Wen Ning felt dizzy. He pulled his hand away, and Jiang Cheng reached after him with weak arms that he could barely lift. Wen Ning stumbled backward, his head spinning.

“Come back,” Jiang Cheng moaned.

This shouldn’t be happening, this shouldn’t be happening, this shouldn’t be—

“If you drink water and take the medicine,” Wen Ning said, his voice quivering, “I’ll…I’ll…touch you more.”

No! What are you thinking?

Jiang Cheng stretched out an arm limply on the floor toward Wen Ning. He opened his palm. “Okay.”

Wen Ning grabbed the water basin and hurried outside, more to escape Jiang Cheng’s greedy stare than to refill the basin.

When he reached the stream, he dropped onto his hands and knees. Dug his fingers into the mud of the stream’s bank, struggled to steady his swaying body.

After a while, he recovered some composure. He rinsed his hands, then submerged the basin and pulled it up. Looked at his reflection in the sloshing pool.

Empty eyes. Dead grey skin. Black veins.

If he looked hard enough, he could also see the heavy chains that for years had bound his neck and shoulders.

When Jiang Wanyin gets his senses back, he won’t remember you said that. He won’t ask you to touch him again.

Wen Ning should’ve felt relieved.

He didn’t.

At some point he must’ve stood up and then he was back in the cave, helping Jiang Cheng drink water and take the correct dose of medicine. After Jiang Cheng finished the medicine, he lay motionless on his back for a long time. Then he furrowed his brow and stared at the cave ceiling, blinking, as if he were waking up and processing his surroundings for the first time.

Wen Ning waited for a sharp remark. A jab in Jiang Cheng’s tone that would push him and his wayward thoughts back to where they belonged.

Instead:

“Well?”

His voice was clear. Sober.

“Well what?” Wen Ning asked. Had to ask, because it wasn’t possible that Jiang Cheng was waiting for what Wen Ning thought he was.

Jiang Cheng seemed to regret speaking as soon as Wen Ning asked. His gaze darted away. His body tensed.

“…Do you…”

“Nothing,” Jiang Cheng snapped.

Something ravenous surged through Wen Ning’s body. His fists clenched, and he was brimming with agitation, an urge to move, to do anything but kneel here in stillness.

How dare Jiang Cheng dangle this temptation in front of his nose, only to swipe it away and flee with it? He had heard Wen Ning talking before about how he missed the touch of other people.

He knew. He must’ve known what this would to do Wen Ning.

How dare he?

“You still want me to—”

“I don’t!” Jiang Cheng finally looked at Wen Ning, and his face was all angles and panicked fury. He winced, as if shouting had worsened his headache.

Wen Ning pressed his hands onto his knees, gripping them, squeezing them. “Don’t yell at me,” he said quietly.

Jiang Cheng’s lips twinged as if he were about to retort. Then he bit it back and turned to look at the ceiling again.

Everything was silent, except for the roaring in Wen Ning’s ears as he fought to hold himself still.

You’re a corpse. You can’t touch him. You don’t even like him.

Jiang Cheng mumbled something he couldn’t hear.

“What?” There was more urgency in Wen Ning’s voice than he wanted.

Jiang Cheng turned his face away completely. “…Maybe.”

Something leaped in Wen Ning’s chest.

His mind screamed at him not to start, not to go somewhere he was forbidden, but his hand was already pressed firmly into Jiang Cheng’s shoulder.

A heavy exhale escaped Jiang Cheng once Wen Ning touched him. His face tilted a few degrees toward Wen Ning, and now Wen Ning could see the flush across his cheeks, a deep red visible even in the darkness of the cave.

“Is that all?” Jiang Cheng’s voice had all its usual spite, but none if its certainty. “Are—are you scared or something?”

Wen Ning grabbed Jiang Cheng’s jaw and jerked his face toward him. Jiang Cheng’s eyes widened. His breath quivered.

“I think you’re the one who’s scared.”

Jiang Cheng swallowed. “Wen Qionglin.” He almost whimpered the name, his eyes wide and fragile like paper moons.

Suddenly Wen Ning was overcome with an urge to hear his birth name like that.

“Wen Ning.” He slowly released Jiang Cheng’s chin and placed the hand on his shoulder.

“Wen Ning,” Jiang Cheng repeated, like he was tasting the words.

Jiang Cheng’s shoulders were hot. His entire body was hot. Wen Ning rubbed his hands across him in small circles at first, then gradually into long sweeps along his entire torso, down to his hips and out to his biceps, massaging gently, letting the heat trickle into his skin. Jiang Cheng’s eyelids were closed, but Wen Ning could still see the pleasure behind them.

The rest happened in a blur. Fingers at the ties of his robes—were they his hands? Jiang Cheng’s? both?—and then the layers dropped and they didn’t matter anymore, and Wen Ning was lying on top of Jiang Cheng and there were fingers dug in his sides and his face was buried in Jiang Cheng’s neck, and he was so very warm.

Since his death, Wen Ning had started spending a lot of time sitting in the sunshine. He’d bake himself in sunbeams, trying to absorb them like some sleepy cold-blooded monster, imagining that he felt as warm as he did under that same sun during his childhood.

Of course, he never felt that warm.

Sometimes he wished that he could throw a rope around the sun and tug it to the ground so it could sit next to him. So it’s heat would be right beside him and he could touch it. Then the sun would feel the way it used to.

And if the sun felt the way it used to, then, surely, the rest of his life would be back to the way it was. His sense of smell, his heartbeat, Granny, A-Jie—everything. The way it was before the war.

Before the Sunshot Campaign.

Sunshot. How aptly named.

If the war had never happened, could he and Jiang Cheng have been like this in another time?

Wen Ning nuzzled his face deeper into Jiang Cheng’s neck. Jiang Cheng was not as warm as the sun, but he was a person, and that felt even more impossible.

As a fierce corpse, it was just as hard for Wen Ning to touch a person with his bare skin as it was to shoot down the sun.

Especially to touch a person like this.

He lifted his face toward Jiang Cheng’s ear. “Jiang Wanyin?”

“Mn?”

“Do you…like this?”

Jiang Cheng’s body stiffened. He was quiet for a long time.

“…Do you?” he finally said.

Do I?

Wen Ning thought about it. He liked how comfortable he felt.

But this was only happening because Jiang Cheng wanted to cool himself down. If Jiang Cheng hadn’t been burning from the Four-Sunsets Flu, he would’ve had no reason to touch Wen Ning.

He would’ve had no reason to be in the same place as Wen Ning.

Something sank inside him as he realized this was going to end eventually. They would go back to resenting each other, and it would never happen again.

“I think I hate it,” Wen Ning said.

Jiang Cheng shifted his jaw. “I hate it too.”

He buried his face back in Jiang Cheng’s neck. “You don’t hate it enough.”

He pressed his lips into something soft and hot, pulled at it with a kiss, running his teeth over skin. Jiang Cheng sucked in a breath.

He dug this way at Jiang Cheng’s neck, then his shoulders, then his chest, desperately hunting for a spot that would make Jiang Cheng reject him with disgust and shove him to the ground like the carcass he was.

“Wen Ning—” Had he finally done it? “Wen Ning—stop—”

He looked up at Jiang Cheng, who was watching him and frowning.

He waited for the insult.

Jiang Cheng tried to push him to the side. His arms barely had any strength, so Wen Ning just followed the push and rolled himself off Jiang Cheng’s body.

For the first time, the cave floor felt cold.

“We—”

Jiang Cheng pulled his upper body on top of Wen Ning before Wen Ning could say anything. He froze in shock.

Jiang Cheng lowered his lips to Wen Ning’s neck and planted a timid kiss on his skin. He tried to run his hands along Wen Ning’s chest and kiss him again, but he soon fell limp and motionless.

Maybe he was exhausted.

More likely, he hadn’t meant any of this, and regretted starting.

Wen Ning reached up and rested his hands on Jiang Cheng’s arms, gently squeezing him. “You don’t need to do anything.”

“I’m…tired…”

“Then rest.” Wen Ning lifted Jiang Cheng off his body and laid him on the cave floor.

Jiang Cheng struggled feebly. Once his back met the dark rock again, he scoffed. “You didn’t let me finish talking.” The familiar glint of derision was back in his eyes.

“Then what were you going to say?”

He looked away. His voice became wobbly. “I’m tired of…of not…doing anything.” He drew in a breath. “Receiving, and not…” He trailed off.

There was more meaning in those words than could fit in the air between them.

Wen Ning’s gut plummeted.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

Jiang Cheng blinked at him.

There were words he had never said, but had thought about saying for a long time, and they all came tumbling out.

“We never asked if you wanted it. It’s just, Wei Wuxian was begging us. He was so determined to do it, and I saw how much he c-c-cared about you. He said it was the most important thing to you, so I—I helped him convince my sister—"

“I don’t want to hear this,” Jiang Cheng snapped. He sat up. “I get it. You’re not like me.”

They glared at each other, hostile static between their eyes.

“You did everything you were supposed to for Wei Wuxian, didn’t you?” He wrinkled his nose and coughed out a scornful laugh. “His perfect, loyal little servant—”

Wen Ning shoved Jiang Cheng down, climbed on top of him and pinned his arms to the ground.

A nerve had snapped inside him. Resentful energy clawed up his throat.

“I am not Wei Wuxian’s servant.”

A wave of catharsis crashed through Wen Ning. Rushed out of his body with those words.

“Is that all you think I am? Wei Wuxian’s Ghost General?”

Jiang Cheng stopped struggling and fell limp, gaping up at him.

Wen Ning didn’t know what he looked like right now, but he might’ve been snarling.

“If all I am is the Ghost General,” he leaned down to Jiang Cheng’s face, “I could treat you very differently right now.”

Fear flashed through Jiang Cheng’s eyes.

Good. Be scared of me. Everyone is scared of me.

He pressed harder into Jiang Cheng’s wrists like he wanted to drive them through the stone floor. Satisfaction swelled inside him at the sight of the Jiang Clan Leader so frightened, so helpless.

Jiang Cheng’s lips quivered. “Then do it.”

Wen Ning kissed him on the mouth. Hard.

Whatever he had expected it to feel like, he hadn’t expected to feel it so fully, and he hadn’t expected to be kissed back.

Soon their bodies were in a tangle, and Wen Ning had wandered elsewhere, his hands tracing lower on Jiang Cheng’s body.

Jiang Cheng flinched, as if he knew what Wen Ning intended to do. “Stop, Wen Ning,” Jiang Cheng moaned. “Stop, I—I can’t—I don’t want that—”

Wen Ning pulled away.

What do you mean, he wanted to ask. But regret and shame had caught up to him as soon as Jiang Cheng spoke.

He had nothing that a living person would want. It was already a miracle that he and Jiang Cheng had even touched each other. What right did he have to ask for more?

“Okay,” Wen Ning said softly, and settled himself on the floor a short distance away.

Jiang Cheng looked uncomfortable.

Suddenly Wen Ning wanted to sink into the ground and hide.

Don’t you know what you are?

All Jiang Cheng had wanted was to cool himself off, and Wen Ning had taken it as an invitation to be…to be with him like a real person.

He’d never get an invitation like that.

He wasn’t a person. He was a weapon. A tool. He had pushed beyond his utility to Jiang Cheng, and now it was over.

“Are you just going to sit there?” Jiang Cheng said.

“S-Sorry.” Wen Ning stood and walked over to his robes to cover himself. And after that, who knows where he’d go. It wouldn’t be somewhere in this cave.

“What’re you doing?” Jiang Cheng spat out the words, but his voice was hoarse and unsure. “I’m not done with you.”

Wen Ning glared at him. “You never started anything to be done with.”

Jiang Cheng’s face fell. His mouth opened and closed a few times. “I…”

This was all a mistake.

“I don’t think that,” Jiang Cheng murmured.

Wen Ning ignored him and began to sling on his robes.

“I don’t think that!”

“Think what?”

Jiang Cheng collapsed his upper body back onto the cave floor and stared at the ceiling. “How the hell am I supposed to just think you’re the Ghost General?” He clenched his fists. “Do you know how hard I try to do that?”

Wen Ning mindlessly crumpled the robes in his hands.

“Both of you are horrible. You. Wei Wuxian.”

The robes were back on the ground, and Wen Ning was standing over Jiang Cheng.

He scowled and looked away. “You should’ve stayed away from me and Jin Ling if you wanted me to hate you.”

Wen Ning was sitting next to him.

“Did you forget I’m sick right now?” Jiang Cheng swallowed. His voice softened. “I didn’t want to…that…I only…”

Wen Ning lay on his side next to Jiang Cheng, and loathed himself for being there, feeling exposed, desperate. Stupid.

“Just start over.”

Wen Ning forgot which of them moved first, but then again it didn’t really matter—none of this would matter once it was over—and they lay on their sides facing each other, arms around each other, chests gently pressed together, legs slightly intertwined. Warmth embraced Wen Ning once more.

After a while, Jiang Cheng dozed off.

He had asked this at least twice before, but Jiang Cheng would not hear him, so Wen Ning asked again, “Do you like this?”

Jiang Cheng made a low sound that could’ve been a yes or a no. Perhaps it was both. “Warmer now,” he said, half-asleep, his words slurred.

Of course.

Wen Ning had hugged Jiang Cheng so long that his body had absorbed the heat, and now he even radiated warmth of his own. His usefulness was truly used up.

“Sorry.” He moved to sit up. “I’ll let you sleep now.”

Jiang Cheng wrapped his arms tighter around him, which didn’t do much given how weak and drowsy he was, but Wen Ning felt it so strongly that if he had breath left, it would’ve been squeezed out of him.

“Where are you going?” It sounded like a plea.

With trembling hands, Wen Ning easily peeled Jiang Cheng’s arms off him and pulled away again. “I can’t cool you off anymore.” He stood and slowly turned to walk toward the pile of his robes.

“Why does everyone keep leaving?”

Wen Ning froze.

Something had broken in Jiang Cheng’s voice.

His eyes were closed, his cheeks pink and damp. His expression had fallen as if dropped off a cliff and cracked open raw on the ground.

Wen Ning weaved himself back in between the spaces of Jiang Cheng’s body. Put one hand on the back of Jiang Cheng’s head and tucked it below his chin. Pressed his face into soft hair.

“Don’t leave,” Jiang Cheng murmured into Wen Ning’s neck. Maybe he was talking to someone in a dream. Maybe to Wen Ning. Maybe to everyone at once.

“I won’t.”

This time, they both fell asleep.

* * *

In the earliest, coldest hours of dawn, Wen Ning went alone to the west side of Dafan Mountain and found the Ever-Frozen Flower at the center of the forest, glowing like enchanted ice in a patch of blue-tinted weeds. He dripped its nectar into a tiny glass vial and left, not bothering to stay and watch the bloom shrivel up once the air grew warmer.

He wondered when was the last time someone touched that flower.

It would’ve been one of his ancestors. Even with all the knowledge that had been lost, small fragments of his family’s work remained to help Wen Ning.

Perhaps the Dafan Wen weren’t quite dead yet.

He gave a drop of nectar to Jiang Cheng. Once he was strong enough to fly on his sword, they journeyed back to the Cloud Recesses.

They said not one word to each other.

The juniors celebrated their return, welcoming them with cheers and waves, ushering them to the cold springs where Wen Ning let Wei Wuxian feed the drop of nectar to Lan Wangji, and soon Lan Wangji was cured.

No one knew that Jiang Cheng had caught the Four-Sunsets Flu. They didn’t need to.

Next they stood at the gate of the Cloud Recesses, Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian on one side, Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling on the other.

“Thank you,” Wei Wuxian said. He was beaming. “I really can’t thank you enough.”

Wen Ning and Jiang Cheng only nodded. They still didn’t speak, because if they said something to Wei Wuxian, it might have been mistaken as saying something to each other.

Jiang Cheng turned to Jin Ling. “Let’s go,” he said in a low voice.

“Bye, Wei-shishu. Wen-qianbei,” Jin Ling said with a shy wave before following his uncle.

Wei Wuxian smiled, patted Wen Ning on the shoulder, and headed up the stone path back to the Cloud Recesses.

Wen Ning stood motionless, watching Jiang Cheng and Jin Ling walk away.

After a while, his mind wandered. He wasn’t sure what he had been thinking about, but when he came back to the present, Jiang Cheng was standing in front of him.

“J-Jiang Wanyin—”

He scowled. “I hope I don’t see you again.” Then the lines in his face softened, and he looked down. A tint of redness colored his cheeks. “But next time I do…call me Jiang Cheng.”

He turned around abruptly and marched away, his figure all flowing violet robes and angry movements. He pointed down the path and barked something at Jin Ling, then walked even faster.

Wen Ning laughed quietly to himself. “See you next time, Jiang Cheng.”

* * *

Two weeks later, Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and A-Yuan received invitations for a visit to Lotus Pier.

And so did Wen Ning.

That was a surprise.

“The mighty Sandu Shengshou must be feeling especially generous,” Wei Wuxian said with a chuckle as he examined Wen Ning’s invitation.

“I guess so,” Wen Ning said.

Wei Wuxian’s expression turned more serious. “Do you want to go?”

Wen Ning smiled. “I do.”

And so he went to Lotus Pier, by invitation.

The Jiang Clan was holding a martial ceremony and a small festival. It was nothing that outsiders would normally attend, but then again, Wei Wuxian wasn’t exactly an outsider, so maybe the rest of them weren’t either.

After a round of greetings, Wen Ning slinked away for somewhere to be alone.

When he had traveled with A-Yuan to Dafan Mountain to construct the memorial, they had taken plenty of detours, and stumbled into enough festivals for Wen Ning to learn that it was best to keep his distance from crowds.

He found a small pond with cattails, lotus flowers, and a short bridge passing over it. He stood on the bridge and leaned on the railing, watching the dragonflies flittering over the pond, admiring the bustling activities and vibrant colors of the festival a short distance away, listening to music and joyful voices.

Once in a while, A-Yuan would run over to him and show him something. A drum-rattle with a butterfly painted on its small canvas, a spicy kebab that he described the taste of, a red tassel that looked like the one Granny had made so long ago. Wen Ning let A-Yuan buy the tassel for him.

Dusk fell over Lotus Pier, and soon warm lanterns glowed everywhere.

A set of footsteps beside him. He turned. “Jiang Cheng.”

Jiang Cheng nodded. He stood at the edge of the bridge, studying Wen Ning and then scanning the festival. He seemed to have something to say, but his mouth didn’t open.

“Thank you for the invitation.”

“Don’t think too much of it,” Jiang Cheng said irritably. He turned away. “I…have something to give you.”

Surprised, Wen Ning raised his eyebrows and followed Jiang Cheng through a carved panel door into one of the palaces of Lotus Pier, through winding hallways, around corners, until they arrived at another set of doors.

Jiang Cheng opened them. They stepped into a velvety, dimly lit room. It was Jiang Cheng’s living quarters.

Wen Ning waited in the center of the room, unsure of what to do with himself, while Jiang Cheng stepped over to a shelf and pulled something out.

He lifted Wen Ning’s arm and dropped a small tan pouch into his palm.

It was a spirit-trapping pouch. Wen Ning stared at it for a few moments. “What’s this?”

Jiang Cheng kneaded his lips together and looked away. “From Dafan Mountain.”

“Th-The goddess?” In the cave on Dafan Mountain, Jiang Cheng had ordered Wen Ning to leave after he summoned the goddess, and pulled out this pouch. Had he captured the goddess’s spirit to take back to Lotus Pier? Why would he do something like that?

“No, not her.” Jiang Cheng said slowly. He looked guiltier with each word. “I let her go after she talked to me.”

“Then who is it?”

“…You.”

Wen Ning froze.

He let his mouth fall open.

“Wh-What do you mean, me, how is it—”

“It’s a soul fragment.”

The piece of his soul the Goddess Statue had stolen when he was a child.

How can this be?

Suddenly he wanted to throw the pouch across the room, to get it as far away from it as possible.

“How?”

“I didn’t believe it when it happened,” Jiang Cheng said. “I didn’t want to tell you if it wasn’t true, so I…” His shoulders tightened. “So I took it back to Lotus Pier to confirm, and, well, it’s definitely you.”

Wen Ning didn’t know what to say.

“If you want,” Jiang Cheng paused, clenching and unclenching his fists like he was fighting with himself. “If you want, Wei Wuxian can probably do something with it. Put it back in you or something. Make things feel a little better for you.”

“I don’t want it,” Wen Ning said darkly.

He should’ve felt grateful. He had always wished that his soul was complete, that his cultivation abilities were what they should’ve been. Recovering his missing soul fragment would help his spirit be whole. It would help him fight the resentful energy inside him, grant him peace.

But Wen Ning did not feel grateful.

Does he think I need this? That I need to be fixed?

If he was supposed to put this soul fragment back in himself—to make himself more human, he guessed—then what was he supposed to do about his body? What was the point when there was no fixing the rest of him?

This soul fragment didn’t belong to him anymore, just like his living body didn’t belong to him anymore.

He had hoped that Jiang Cheng meant what he said that night, that he didn’t just think of Wen Ning as the Ghost General, didn’t just think of him as a corpse.

That sometimes he forgot, and then Wen Ning could’ve forgotten too.

He’d been wrong.

He handed the pouch back.

“That’s fine, then,” Jiang Cheng said calmly as he took the pouch. “Didn’t think you’d want it anyway.”

“Huh?”

“You seem fine without it.” He shrugged. “But it would be better to ask.”

Whatever had dragged Wen Ning down before, its pressure lifted, and Wen Ning’s spirits rose.

He doesn’t think I need it.

Their eyes met, and a bridge passed through the space between them.

It made sense that he’d say this. Jiang Cheng had something inside him that no one had asked if he wanted.

That was partly Wen Ning’s fault.

His insides churned with a question. “Jiang Cheng?”

“What?”

“On Dafan Mountain, if you hadn’t been so tired, would we have…” He took a step back. He folded his hands and stared at the floor. “Would we have done more?”

The silence gnawed at Wen Ning’s ears. He felt his heart sink lower and lower as he waited.

“No.”

“…Oh.”

Wen Ning turned for the door. “I’ll take my leave, Jiang-zongzhu.”

“It’s not because of that.”

Wen Ning stood in the doorway, resting a hand on the door frame and gazing down the hall, trying not to let himself quiver.

“It’s not because of you.” He heard Jiang Cheng step closer. “I’m just…I’m…” Anger barbed his voice. “I’m not the right man. Barely even a man. I can’t give you anything.”

“What do you mean?” Wen Ning said quietly.

Jiang Cheng’s voice became even quieter than Wen Ning’s. “Why do you think the Jiang Clan doesn’t have an heir?”

“Because every woman has blacklisted you.”

“You!—” He took a moment to steady his breath and lower his voice. “And what do you think is the reason for that? Bad-tempered, loud, hostile—I know what they all say—and on top of that, I…I don’t…desire. Not like that. Not for everything I should.” He sounded like he wanted to hit himself. “A pathetic husband I’d make.”

Wen Ning finally turned back to the room. Jiang Cheng looked away immediately, his jaw and fists clenched, his face red.

“That’s not pathetic.”

Then Wen Ning’s chest knotted with guilt. He felt like he had dirtied a home that wasn’t his. “Did you…desire any of it? That night?”

Jiang Cheng swallowed. His voice cracked. “I did like some of it.”

Maybe it was different for Wen Ning, banished from human touch for years, but he couldn’t imagine how someone would find this a problem. If that was the farthest Wen Ning went for the rest of eternity, he still would’ve been beyond happy.

“Then only doing those things is enough.”

“Enough for whom?”

Wen Ning stood still for a few moments, feeling like he was balancing on a tightrope.

Enough for me.

Except.

The ghosts of the past had built a wall between them, shattering the bridge to nowhere.

They had spent a long time without acknowledging it, but they still hadn’t fully forgiven each other, and it might've been a while until they did. The existence of the other was as much a source of pain as it had the potential to be a source of joy.

Maybe they could be friends one day. But to become something more, to do that again…

It just wasn’t time.

Jiang Cheng’s eyes darkened, as if he knew it too.

“It’ll be enough for whomever you choose,” Wen Ning said. “Maybe…” He didn’t finish.

He left. Tried not to feel anything, wished that his emotions were as dulled as his sense of taste and touch.

“Wen Ning.” Jiang Cheng had followed him into the hallway.

He stopped and turned halfway around.

“…Thank you.”

Wen Ning gave a half-hearted smile. “Please don’t thank me, and don’t tell me you’re sorry, either.”

Jiang Cheng opened his mouth. Closed it.

He nodded and disappeared back into his room.

* * *

That night, Wen Ning left Lotus Pier by himself. He’d meet the others back at the Cloud Recesses.

Sometime.

For now, he just wanted to wander underneath the moon.

Hours later, he found himself back on Dafan Mountain, in front of his family’s memorial. He bowed, then knelt on the ground, stroking the dirt, wondering if he could write a message in it and have it reach his family.

He thought of how he stood here in the sun with Jiang Cheng, holding his hand.

Squeezing Jiang Cheng’s hand like Wen Qing used to squeeze his.

His throat caught.

Why does it have to be him?

He scraped the ground and let dirt wedge under his fingernails. Then he placed his hands on the memorial stone, pressed his face on it. It still didn’t feel like anything.

He tried humming a song from his childhood, but it didn’t vibrate in his chest like it used to.

A gentle pat on his head.

He put his face in his dirt-stained hands and sobbed waterless tears.

If only one person were alive to forget Wen Ning was dead, he wished it could’ve been his sister instead.

* * *

Two days later, Wen Ning received another letter.

The soul fragment has been put to rest.

You are always welcome in Lotus Pier.

Jiang Cheng.

It made him smile.

He carried the note in his robes from then on. Some days it felt like nothing, some days it felt like a deadweight, and some days it felt like a good luck charm he could use when he was ready.

But it always made him feel a little more alive.

* * *

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this chapter, you can be a supportive sibling like Jiang Yanli by liking, reblogging, and visiting me on AO3.

Happy ending bonus scene >

#chengning #ningcheng #mdzs fanfiction #the untamed fanfiction #mdzs fanfic #the untamed fanfic #powered by sufjan stevens #mdzs #the untamed #cql #jiang cheng #ifdchallenge2021 #jiang wanyin #wen ning #wen qionglin #emilu fics #emilu creations

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yamithediaperdork · 4 years ago

Text

My Cousin is CRAZY! (Ben10 alien force)

My cousin is crazy

It was Saturday morning in Bellwood and 15 year old Ben Tennyson was slowly waking up to the smell of bacon and eggs. It was strange because his parents were on a vegan kick at the moment but he decided to roll with it and opened his eyes as he went to sit up. And then groaned out loud as he took in stock of his attire and what he was sleeping in. Not for the first time since Gwen had started working out hardcore last year the girlish Ben had found his cousin perv'ing on him and deciding he should be her sissy baby wife. Despite making his lack of interest in such plans clear MORE then once, It hadn't of stopped Gwen from snagging him up at random times and dressing him up. Case and point, he was currently in what he estimated as 5 princess reaz's diapers (he'd sadly become familiar with the different brands because of Gwen) and a dark pink top with lighter pink puffed out shoulders and a semi skirt that didn't even cover half of the diapers. The top also had a red heart on the front with white writing in cursive declaring 'i wove my mommy' going along with the top and diapers his hands were in locking mittens meaning any attempt to use the omnitrix was doomed to fail and his feet covered in booties with slick bottoms so Ben would end up having to crawl unless he wanted to fall on his ass every 12 steps. 'At least she didn't put the paci in my mouth this time.' Ben thought with a sulky though a pat on his head told him she had put the silly over sized bow in his hair again, the damn thing pink with white poka dots. As for what he was in, again this wasn't a shock to him as it wasn't the first time but he was still less then pleased to have gone to sleep in his own bed in a pair of boxers and wake up in the hot pink crib Gwen had built just for him during her wood shop class. And of course since she wasn't shy of telling people who it was for Ben had been forced to endure even more teasing at school though ironically just verbal, no bullies had darned to lay a finger on him and have to deal with Gwen's almost super human power and bulk. The last bully who had tried had been found hanging from a flag pole by a pair of Barbie pants. Struggling to get to his feet on the purple sheet covered queen sized mattress and ignoring the fuzzy white and pink blanket and pillows in the crib with him (not to mention a dolly or too) Ben took in a deep breath and then hollered at the opened door frame of Gwen's room. "GWEN YOU SICK BITCH! YOU'VE BEEN TOLD TO STOP KIDNAPPING ME AND DRESSING ME IN DRAG AND HUGGIES! COME IN HERE AND LET ME OUT OF THIS OUTFIT BEFORE I GET YOU IN SHIT WITH YOURS AND MINE PARENTS AND GRANDPA MAX TOO!" It was the only threat that normally worked as while they're parents thought it was mostly cute, they all agreed that Gwen kidnapping Ben crossed a line. other then that though it was fair game if he was out of the house. Grandpa Max was nicer about it in Ben's view as he made the rust bucket a official safe zone that even Gwen respected and so Ben found himself hanging out less with Gwen and Kevin and more with Gramps. Kevin for his part was all too happy to stay out of it, treating the whole thing as a bullet dodged when him and Gwen had never hit it off and a better Ben then him. Ben didn't have to wait long as he swore he could almost feel the food steps of Gwen as she made her way towards the room.

Between the insane amount of weights she worked and the reps she put into and a unexpected growth spurt Gwen looked like she could of been a WWE at her 6'10 height and 320 pounds of mostly muscle. She kept her Orange hair short and was wearing a pair of grey jogging pants and white under shirt that showed off her girl abs. "Awww is my darling widdle wife to be awake?" She coo'ed, cupping her hands together and flashing Ben a big smile. "Gwen, for the LAST time, I'm not going to marry you. I'm not going to be your sissy baby, now PLEASE let me go. I'm not joking, I'll call Grandpa Max over and get you in SO much trouble." Ben huffed, trying to look intimidating but his outfit made that all but impossible. "Awww such a silly widdle gurl! Did widdle Benny forget that this is our parents couples retreat weekend? And gramp's is off on Plumber work! That means I got widdle Benny to myself allll weekend." Gwen gushed and came over, lifting him out of the crib with ease and holding him up so she could give his padded rump a sniff. "Ah crap baskets..That was THIS weekend?" Ben whined, not even bothering to point out he would of said something if he had used the diapers. He'd tried to make plans to hang out with cooper for that weekend but had clearly gotten his dates wrong and was capital S screwed for the next 48 hours. "Hmm Doesn't smell like Benny has made me a present yet..but I know you will soon enough. you just love to make presents for your hubby don't you?" Gwen coo'ed and moved him down enough she could give him a Eskimo kiss. "Oh yeah. highlight of my weekend, fudging a diaper." Ben said sarcastically. "Now now, I know you're just grumpy because you didn't get to play with me last night, but I had to take care of a few things. But we have allll weekend sweetie. And if you promise to be a good little gurl for me I'll be nice and spoil you with all the junk food you want. After all you need to put on some baby fat." Gwen chuckled and kissed his cheek. Ben groaned, Gwen was always trying to chub him up, but given the fact he'd been subjected to the 'wonder's' of a baby food and formula weekend before, and the fact he was trapped regardless he just hung his head. "Fine, I'll play along. but for the record, you need help." Ben huffed. "Oh please, I can handle my widdle wife for a weekend!" Gwen chuckled and carried Ben off towards the kitchen.

Strapped into a wooden but painted light pink high chair, Ben played along with his crazy cousin and held up his arms so she could remove his top and replace it with a hello kitty bib. "Now Benny, if I remove your mitten's and let you feed yourself, you're not gonna do something stupid and try and use your silly little watch now are you?" Gwen asked. Considering between her bulk and her magic Gwen out classed most of Ben's aliens anyways and she always made sure he was sorry for trying to go alien on her after he timed out, Ben decided that having the freedom to feed himself was worth playing along. "Yeah I'll be good.." Ben said and held up his hands. She studied his face for a second, as if deciding whether or not to trust him then smiled. "I believe you. I really hope we can have a nice weekend together and I don't end up having to spank you. it hurts me then it does you when I have to." Gwen said then moved to free up Ben's hands. 'Bullshit on that one!' Ben thought but wisely kept his thoughts to himself and just flexed his fingers, and looked at the watch. "I'm not going alien, I'm just checking to make sure no alien got primed to go while the mitten on so I don't accidentally go alien and get my cheeks tanned." He said, and then after getting a smirk and a nod from Gwen checked the watch. Thankfully nothing was primed and he made sure to show the psycho and then wiggled in the high chair as he waited on her to plate up some num nums for him. Everything else aside, Gwen really was a excellent cook and she didn't hold back as she put the piled high plate of scrambled eggs and Bacon and some pancakes down in front of Ben and handed him a baby fork and knife. She had also poured on the maple syrup and set down a one liter baby bottle full of chocolate milk for him and kissed his cheek. "Eat up little lady.Oh, did you want me to put a show or something on for you while you eat up? I think Sumo slammers is having a marathon on channel 6 today." Gwen asked, nodding to the Kitchen TV her mom had had put in back during the 90's. "..That would be agreeable yes." Ben said, trying not to break out into a silly grin before he started to dig into the food, watching as Gwen was proven right. 'you know.. the huggies and drag aside, I could get used to being spoiled like this.' Ben thought.

Gwen smirked as she watched Ben chow down and kick his legs ideally in the high chair. while she would of preferred he watch something a little less violent she had changed up her usual plan for weekend sessions with her soon to be sissy bride. Trying to enforce the baby food and sissy programs only made him fight it more so she was gonna meet him halfway and try to ease him more into baby gurlhood. One added bonus though she noticed with a big grin while she had her normal bowl of high protein gruel was that Ben was even more of a messy eater then normal as he watched his show, getting syrup all over his face and bib and eggs and bits of bacon were all over the place. 'He's such a big baby! I love it!' She mentally squealed. It only got better as halfway though his plate, he reached for his his ba-ba and held it with BOTH hands like a good baby gurl and she was fighting the urge to squeal out loud. Anytime she tended to praise him for his babyish behavior he always tried to cut it out. Finishing her gruel she washed it down with a protein drink and noted that Ben was squirming around lots in his high chair, with most of his food gone and the little sissy had packed away HALF of his milk already. "Doing alright over there baby gurl?" She asked. Ben seemed to snap out of his show induced trance and blushed. "I uh..I gonna potty..and I think I got a gas bubble stuck." He said, poking two fingers together. '..Is he asking me to burp him?' Gwen wondered but was ALL grin's "Well that's no good! here, let me help you out. whats a little gas between husband and wife?" She said. Coming over she grabbed a dish towel and a wet dish rag, putting the towel over one shoulder and then moved Ben's num num's and ba-ba over onto the kitchen table and removed his bib. washing the big baby's face and chest down she removed the tray and lifted him up, swooning as his legs wrapped around her and he helped her get his head over the towel. Rubbing his back she gave it all of three firm but gentle pats before Ben let out a massive belch over her shoulder and spit up a little bit of milk. "Uh...T-Thanks Gwen." A sheepish Ben half coo'ed and then switched shoulders and nuzzled into her. "Do you want me to set you down so you can go and hide while you make potty?" She offered, clearly trying to meet him half way was working wonders. "I..I Uh..no." Ben Mewed into her shoulder, which of course muffled his voice but she got the jest of it. "You wanna use your diapers while your bride to be holds you tight and praises you for being a good girl?" Gwen asked, grinning ear to ear and holding Ben close and rubbing his lower back. "I..I dunno..Maybe..I mean..If I can't use the potty..I guess it's.." Ben Mumbled into her shoulder, She could tell he'd of rather used the bathroom, which was a touch disappointing to her but still, with him willing to go in his pampers while she held him being his second choice that meant she was making headwind. "Do you wanna keep your face in my big strong shoulder or be turned around facing away from my?" She asked, then leaned down and kissed his neck, knowing from Julie (who had dumped Ben mostly because she shipped the pair) just how much he loved having his neck kissed and nibbled on. Case and point Ben didn't even really reply, just snuggled into her harder. Taking that as a answer Gwen made her way over to a kitchen chair and took a seat, Ben's legs on either side of her lap and his arms hugging her, while one of her strong hands rubbed and patted his pampered bottom. Her other hand was rubbing and pressing on certain spots on Ben's back and it didn't take loud before her efforts were rewarded as a muffled poot came out his backside, then anther and anther and she could feel him starting to push and grunt. "That's it baby gurl, let it all out. make me a nice big present." Gwen coo'ed sweetly in his ear and follow up with giving him a gentle start of a hickey on his neck as he began to fill his pretty pink diapers. "G-Gwen! Dun! N-Not while I'm pooping!" Ben meekly whimpered, though he tilted his head in such a fashion that he was offering her a even better shot at his neck. "Heh, Somebodies gonna be a tsundere diaper sissy for me huh? That's ok. I think it's adorable." Gwen chuckled, feeling the lumps of Ben's 'present' to her fill up the back of his diapers and mentally giving thanks to whatever mage had made the spell that allowed her to only smell strawberries in cream as Ben loaded his huggies. 'Maybe if he's a good gurl at our wedding, on our honeymoon I'll cast it on him too.' Gwen thought. Food for thought later, She had a good little gurl dumping his guts in his pampers for her and whimpering for his reward and as such, she leaned down and started to gently nibble and suck away on Ben's neck, smirking as the little sissy let out a soft "I love you.." as she did so.

The end

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accio-infinity-stone · 8 years ago

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A Missing Demiguise (Newt x Reader)

Word Count: 2,715

Warnings: None

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

The rain plowed down, the wind was vicious and the cold biting as you watched all this from the safety of your window and in the warmth of your cozy apartment. There was a certain beauty in chaos, you thought as you watched the trees strain against the wind. Every now and then you had to rub the condensation off your window with your sleeve because of the contrast in the heat inside and the cold outside.

You sighed contentedly as you turned to look at the flames in your fireplace and took a sip of your tea. As much as you liked nice and sunny days, you loved stormy days just as much, if not more. Getting all cosy with a blanket, a book and a cup of tea next to the window was one of your greatest pleasures.

As you turned back to look out the window a flash of blue caught your eye. You looked again and saw a man in a blue coat struggling against the wind down the street, arm raised to protect his face against the wind and rain. You frowned, you were surprised someone was actually braving the streets. No one should be out in this weather. You watched as he continued to walk down the street, moving his head from side to side as if he were looking for something. He stumbled a bit as a particularly strong gust of wind hit him but he pursued on.

You pursed your lips in exasperation as you knew what you had to do but didn’t want to move out of your warm cocoon. You sighed in frustration as you stood up. Wrapping yourself in as many layers as would be socially acceptable, grabbing a muggle umbrella and slipping your wand in your pocket you ran out of your door.

“Excuse me, sir!” You yelled through the wind to the man from the open door of your apartment building. He kept going, not hearing you calling to him. You groaned and unfolded your umbrella as you ventured into the storm. The umbrella didn’t really do much good as the wind whipped the rain every which way. You ran up to the man, squinting through the rain. “Sir, excuse me!” You said, running in front of him. He was quite attractive actually. He was quite tall, with stunningly spring green eyes, a messy mop of light brown hair and a whole lot of freckles.

“Oh, uhm hello ma’am.” He greeted distractedly, his gaze somewhere else.

“What are you doing out in this weather? Please, come inside.” You said. He looked at you in the eyes then lowered his gaze. You only now noticed he was carrying a case as he moved it to his other hand nervously.

“Thank you, miss, but I’m afraid I can’t. I’m looking for something and really must to find it.” He said, stepping around you and walking forward. You gave a sigh and spun around, catching up to him.

“Sir, I’m sure whatever you lost can wait until after this storm is over.” You insisted, noticing how strangely he walked as you fell into step beside him. He seemed to be walking at a slight angle.

“I can’t. See, who I’m looking for is quite used to warm climates so I really need to find him.” He said, not really making eye contact with you.

“Wait, you lost a person?” You asked incredulously.

“No, a Demiguise. And technically I didn’t lose him, he escaped.” He said casually as if this was a normal occurrence. “Dougal is quite impatient.” You froze.

“Hold on, you have a Demiguise? And his name is Dougal?” You asked disbelievingly. The man stopped, noticing you had stopped walking. So he was a wizard as well. He had to be, how else would he know of Demiguises, let alone have one?

“Yes and I must find him. I don’t want him to get sick.” He said worriedly as he continued his search. You started walking again, raising the umbrella over both your heads as you walked together. You noticed the man become a little uncomfortable, normally if you were making someone uncomfortable you’d stop doing whatever it was you were doing but you were not letting this man get any more wet than he already was. “So I assume you are a witch since you know what a Demiguise is.” He said looking at you in the eyes then diverting his eyes again, not away from you per se but more at how you were acting, as if he were reading your body language.

“Yes, I am a proud Hogwarts alumnus.” You said, taking your wand out of your pocket to show him. This seemed to catch his attention and he looked as if he were gonna say something then hesitated and seemed to decide against it. You noticed his scarf looked like a Hufflepuff scarf, was that from Hogwarts? Did he keep it all these years? “So how on Earth did you find a Demiguise?” You asked, curious now.

“Well, I was in China, studying Chinese Fireball dragons also known as Liondragons when I came across a man trying to capture this Demiguise for his fur. His attempts were not fruitful but I still decided to help the creature and I stopped the man. Dougal became quite loyal to me after that.” He told you. “He still can’t sit still that one though.” He added. You nodded your head, though still not quite understanding. Why would this man be studying Chinese Fireballs? They were classified as XXXXX by the Ministry of Magic. You looked him up and down, other than his good looks he didn’t seem like anything special. He was tall but quite slim, not really lanky but definitely not muscly enough to properly take down a dragon. He didn’t really seem like a wizard powerful enough to even come close enough to a Chinese Fireball to study them. Maybe he had a team of wizards to hold it down? You decided to ask later and focus on keeping yourself warm as you breathed hot air into your hands. You didn’t want to go back to your apartment now, you wanted to see this Demiguise. You had never seen one in person. It suddenly dawned on you, how was this man going to catch it?

“This is probably a silly question but you have a plan on how to capture the Demiguise, yes?” You ask tentatively. The man looked down bashfully and didn’t say anything, so you took his silence as a no. You nodded your head and pursed your lips exasperatedly.

“I have caught him before. I’m sure I can do it again. I don’t think he’d want to stay out much longer in this weather.” He said trying to comfort the stranger who was for some reason helping him. Or so he assumed by the way you were still holding the umbrella over both of you and not stomping away mumbling how crazy he was.

“So we have to catch a creature that can turn invisible and can tell the nearest, most possible future and do all this in the wind and pouring rain?” You asked. The man gave you a small bashful smile, still not fully looking into your eyes. You sighed. “Well this really is the cat’s meow, isn’t it.” You said sarcastically.

“Well, I must find him. You really needn’t help me, miss.” He said kindly. You gave him a small smile, you wanted to help this man. He seemed like a good person and the curiosity was just eating you up so you really didn’t have a choice.

“Y/F/N Y/L/N. Nifty to meet you, sir.” You said, sticking your hand out for him to shake. He looked at your outstretched hand then up at your face. He looked a little surprised as if he wasn’t expecting you to properly be acquainted with him.

“Newt Scamander.” He said finally, smiling and taking your hand as he diverted his gaze again. You cocked your head slightly. Newt Scamander. That sounded familiar. You were’t sure why but something was tugging at your memory, you were sure you’d heard that name before. Before you could ask though something caught your eye. A flash of silver in an alley between two buildings. You stopped walking and peered into the dark alley. Newt had noticed you had stopped and followed suit.

“Did you see something, miss Y/L/N?” He asked, looking over at you as you squinted into the alley.

“I thought I saw something out of the corner of my eye. A flash of silver.” You said, looking up to meet his beautifully green eyes. He kept your gaze this time as he nodded.

“Silver fur perhaps?” He asked.

“Maybe, but why wouldn’t he have turned invisible?” You asked. Newt looked into the alley then back at you.

“I’m not sure.” He said, lowering his head and focusing his gaze on the ground. You could tell he wanted to go investigate but wasn’t sure if you wanted to go into a dark, creepy alley with him. A stranger no less. Well, not entirely a stranger, you did know his name. You smiled and folded your umbrella in case you needed to make swift movements.

“Then let’s get a wiggle on, shall we?” You said. He lifted his bright green eyes to meet your E/C ones and nodded lightly. You rested your umbrella on the wall of the building and slipped your wand out of your pocket, walking into the alley. Newt followed your lead. You both murmured a soft ‘lumos’ which shed a light from both your wands onto the previously dark alley. You and Newt looked around, looking behind rubbish bins and unwanted furniture people had left here. After a while you were running out of hope and were about to ask Newt if you two should just carry on down the main street when you heard a loud shuffling noise. You and Newt quickly looked at each other, your eyes wide and hopeful. You and him turned to where the sound came from.

“Dougal? Dougal, don’t worry, mummy’s here, you can show yourself.” Newt said softly, inching towards the rubbish bin from where the sound came from. Your lips quirked upwards at Newt calling himself mummy, it was quite frankly adorable. Newt glanced back to you. “Remember, he has precognitive capabilities.” He reminded you. You nodded at him and stayed back, not wanting to spook the Demiguise. As Newt slowly continued forward he slipped his wand into his coat and opened up his arms slightly.

Suddenly the Demiguise appeared in front of the bin. It was beautiful, with sleek and slightly wet, silver fur and big, doleful eyes. You gasped slightly, a smile growing on your lips at the amazing creature before you. The Demiguise’s attention slipped to you at the sound of your gasp and it’s eyes flashed, you feared you had scared it.

“Atta’ boy, mummy’s here, let me take you home.” Newt said, stretching his hand out to the creature. You noticed that Newt didn’t look directly into it’s eyes and took slow steps towards it, much like he did when he met you. The Demiguise quickly crawled over to you in a monkey-like fashion, surprising both you and Newt. It grabbed your hand and led you to Newt on it’s hind legs. He grabbed Newt’s hand too and walked both of you over to a small, dirty box next to the rubbish bin. You glanced at Newt quizzically and he just raised his eyebrows at you. You turned your attention back to the box as both you and Newt knelt before it. You heard a light squawk come from the box. Your eyes widened and you looked to Newt again.

“The box just squawked.” You said dumbly as if he didn’t hear it as well. He nodded then looked to Dougal and he looked right back at Newt.

“Dougal has strong paternal instincts. He might have been taking care of another animal when he escaped.” He said, looking back into your eyes. You nodded, a look of wonderment crossing your face. Newt admired your reaction as you looked back to the box and opened it slowly. Both you and Newt were taken aback by what you found. It was a baby Phoenix. It was small and frail with just the beginnings of feathers on it.

“Merlin’s beard.” You exclaimed. “How is it here?” Your attention still on the Phoenix. You remember reading that they usually live on high mountain peaks, so what was it doing in an alley in London? You lowered the lid of the box slightly to protect the small creature from the wind and rain and not quite trusting yourself to hold it.

“I’m not sure, but it’s only a baby. Its Burning Day must have been only a few days ago.” He said, looking at the creature with child like wonder. “I’ve seen so many creatures now but they still manage to amaze me.” He said more to himself. You looked at him, really looked at him as he scooped the baby Phoenix gently and cradled it near his body, lending it some of his body heat. He was leaning over it to protect it from the rain. You watched as he smiled at it softly and gazed at it with admiration. You grinned at the sight before you.

“Dougal must have found it and put it in the box to keep it from the rain.” Newt said, looking up at you and catching you staring. You quickly diverted your eyes and blushed furiously. “Would you like to hold it, miss Y/L/N?” He asked. You blinked up at him, you didn’t want to hold the animal for fear of hurting it. You think Newt noticed this. He scooted closer to you and wrapped the creature around in his scarf, placing it in your hands. “There. Now even if you drop it, it’ll be safe and comfortable.” He said quietly, finding the need to be quiet around the frail creature. You held it delicately and watched it blink up at you, letting out a small squawk. You gave a giddy laugh and cradled the Phoenix in your arms. You turned back to Newt and found him already looking at you.

“Y/F/N” You corrected. Newt frowned at you.

“Sorry?”

“Call me Y/F/N” You said. He smiled shyly down at his lap, stroking Dougal who was sitting in it.

“Y/N.” He repeated. He found he loved the sound of your name on his tongue. He looked back up at you, with your wet, H/C hair framing your face delicately and your E/C eyes shining brightly with happiness. “Call me Newt.” He said in turn. You laughed happily again and looked back at the now sleeping bird in your arms.

“So,” You started, “tea?” You asked, looking back up at Newt. He grinned widely at you.

“A cup of warm tea sounds excellent.” He said, making you smile even wider and sighing in relief, not wanting to part with him just yet.

“So, is Newt actually your name?” You asked as both of you stood up, Dougal holding Newt’s hand. You were thinking that his name was like the animal newt.

“Well, my full name is Newton Artemis Fido Scamander.” He said. Suddenly something clicked and you almost dropped the Phoenix that was in your arms. Newt sensed your sudden change in mood and looked at you more closely.

“Wait, the Newton Artemis Fido Scamander, like the author of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them?” You asked, not believing you had just helped the Newton Artemis Fido Scamander who taught you all you knew about beasts and made you even more interested in them if possible find his Demiguise. He looked surprised.

“You know my book?” He asked incredulously. Your eyes widened.

“Of course! If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t even had known what a Demiguise was!” You exclaimed. He smiled bashfully and looked away.

“I’m very flattered.” He said awkwardly, making you laugh.

“Well, now you have to have some tea with me.” You said, stepping closer to him. He didn’t look as uncomfortable this time and smiled down at you enthusiastically.

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

Thank you so much for reading! This is my first attempt in a Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them fanfiction so don’t judge too hard and I hope you enjoyed it.

#fbawtft #fantastic beasts and where to find them #fantastic beasts #newt scamander #newt scamander imagine #newt scamander x reader #fanfiction #hp #harry potter #fbawtft imagine

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