#also erin hyde sucks. so bad

[2017worththetell]

Dear Ryan Baker,

Mr. Hyde here. I’m writing this for myself. Not for you. I couldn’t give a damn if you ever read this or not. Truthfully, you can choke. Fuck you, your fake ass friendship, and your half assed apology. My life fell apart and i almost lost everything, and you didn’t. I live with the trauma of what happened and you get to go on with your life.. It really was just a game to you. Did you have fun? Was it worth it? Did you ever even stop to think how it would affect me? We were not on the same page and i hate that you assumed we were. I developed actual feelings for you. Which is funny considering how horribly you treated me. If we are both being honest, you weren’t even my friend. Almost everything we talked about was about you. You didn’t know a single thing about me. You still don’t. It sucks because i spent every day trying to be the friend you needed. I was already depressed and emotionally drained as it was, but i spent the remainder of my energy on you. I bought you your favorite drinks, snacks, made sure you knew you were loved and made sure you were doing okay mentally and physically. I just wish you would’ve cared about me the way I cared for you. It’s my fault, though, for expecting a narcissist to care about someone other than themselves. Do you ever think about anybody but yourself? No, you don’t. You don’t understand how hard it was to love you, yet it was also so easy at the same time. You’re so self centered and careless, Ryan. You saw I was vulnerable and took advantage of it. You knew my marriage was not in a good place. I’d like to give you the benefit of the doubt and think you didn’t do it on purpose… but at your big age, I know you knew exactly what you were doing. You played me so well and you know it. I bet that was quite the ego boost. And the fact that you made a comment on my mental health was so unnecessary and hurtful. You knew exactly where to strike to hurt my feelings.. I never even insulted you, I simply stated facts. It’s a fact that you treated me horribly. It’s a fact you met with your fuck buddy after I tried to kill myself. It’s a fact you weren’t there for me. It’s all facts. You’re just mad because I’m calling you out on shit that’s true. And best of all, You’re mad at me because I’m still not over something that happened 1 year ago and was very traumatizing to me. maybe Someday I will be over it but for now i hate you for all of it…. Even if I do hurt your feelings, i really don’t care. You hurt me first. Go fuck yourself.

I hate how you made me feel. The good and the bad.

But… i do love some things. I love how small your glasses make your eyes look. It’s ugly. I love how greasy your long hair looks. It’s ugly. I love that you look like you have let yourself go. You’re ugly. it made me so much easier for me not to like you anymore. Because i remember there’s more to you than your looks. If I’m being honest, I hate your narcissistic personality and your perverted comments. I always tried to laugh them off, but in reality, i just thought they were gross. You’re gross. You’re also old and lonely. It’s so sad. It’s probably why you have been single for the past 8 years. You were not wrong when you said you were unlovable. Its hard to love somebody so heartless. It’s probably why your ex girlfriend, Erin, left you. She knew better than to live an awful life with you. I could never be with someone like you. I would probably try to kill myself again. But this time, I would say a prayer beforehand to make sure i succeed.

You made me feel like shit everyday and made me believe I wasn’t a worthy person. I bent over backwards for you. Nobody else would put up with you. But i did. Everybody else hated working with you. I made it work. Despite the fact you treated me like garbage, i loved you. I was there for you. Nobody else was. But i was. And you played with my heart. You didn’t deserve me. I hope someday your life falls apart like mine did. I wish I could be the bigger person, but I’m not. However, part of me is thankful things played out the way they did. I saw your true colors and saw my own, as well. I learned I never really respected you or liked who you were as a person. And as much as I wished differently in the past, I’m glad I never ended up being yours. You could never be half the man I needed you to be. You are not even half the man you are. The truth is, I think you are a coward and a whore. You are the worst thing that has ever happened to me. You made my life miserable. I hate you and I wish I would have never met you. i hope I never see you again.

P.S.

I hope you’re miserable and alone until you’re dead.

Yours truly,

Nicole.

[ctoastwrites]

the snake and the rabbit

the white rabbit hops through the grass, searching for something. the snake watches, slowly slithering along a path that would prevent her from being seen.

"yeah, i know."

robin unlocked the front door, stepping through and shutting it behind them quietly. they weren't paying attention to their surroundings, too busy turned around on the phone and taking their shoes off.

"mhm. we can do that, but don't delete the part with the pictures." they put their bag on a hook next to the door. "ohhh. okay! i'll-" robin turned around and saw their mother on the couch, staring at them and holding a glass of wine. they shivered and felt as if they'd committed a terrible crime. "um.. i'll have to call you back." the rabbit stops dead in their tracks, lifting their head. they suddenly felt like prey, but they didn't know why. the snake began to get closer, the grass around her rustling. "sit down." she said. she didn't sound angry, but her tone was strong and robin couldn't help but obey. they sat on the side opposite to erin, sitting straight up and nervously wringing their hands. "i got a call today." the rabbit lowers their head, very aware of a sudden threat. the snake prepares to make her presence clear. robin bit their lip and tensed up, hearing that sentence. they had a guess as to what it was about. they'd tried to push the situation to the back of their mind. they decided it would be best for them to ask anyway. "oh? what about?" they gave erin a weak smile. the snake presented herself to the rabbit, shooting out in front of them. she flashes her fangs. the rabbit tries to stay calm. they know what happens if you run. "i got a call.." she leaned forward and set her glass of wine down, leaning back and putting her hands in her lap. "..about you." robin felt sick. "that there was a possibility you tried to start- or at least participate in -a fight. you wouldn't do that, would you dear?" the snake made herself taller to intimidate the rabbit. they tried to be smaller, giving her what she wanted. "no, of course not!" robin quickly defended themself. "i had gotten knocked into a locker, that's all! when i went to the nurse to get ice she asked. i said no. " that was the truth, after all. they knew it was intentional, but leaving out that part would be better. at least they wouldn't have to explain it- that would be hard. "i thought so." the snake lowers herself to the rabbit's level, beginning to slither around them and form a circle. the snake promises the rabbit she isn't looking for a meal. the rabbit didn't let down their guard entirely, but they did feel a bit safer. enough to bring their head back to it's usual position, anyway. "why would someone do that to you?" robin was surprised by the question. they didn't know the answer, which was why explaining in full would be near impossible. "pardon?" "well, you must've done something. why else would they push someone like you into a locker?" erin leaned forward and picked up her glass, finishing its contents and setting it back down. "i... uhm.." when robin really thought about it, they could see why erin would think it was their fault. after all, she had taught them how they should act and approach life. they had gone against nearly everything she said. it felt too restricting, but... robin wondered if they would be a better person if they would just listen to her. "yes?" erin raised an eyebrow, waiting for the answer. the snake and the rabbit stared into each other's eyes, waiting to see who would break first. it was the rabbit- they put their head back down and lower their ears. the snake has the power here.

"i think it's me." they said quietly, staring down into their lap. "what was that?" something in robin's brain said "she heard me." but it was too quiet for them to recognize as an option. erin had a way of getting people to do what she wanted, even if she didn't outright say it. they looked up with tears in their eyes. erin was right, she always was. all those times she tried to help them be better, and they didn't listen. "i said it's me! i'm the problem!" the snake convinces the rabbit she is entirely harmless. she even let them look closely to prove she wouldn't be a threat, and the rabbit was rather good at taking in details. they saw her triangle head with it's two holes. her eyes were green, with a slit down the middle. she didn’t seem dangerous. 

the snake got a close look at them as well, with their large black eyes and soft white fur. she decided they were at risk for predators that were less kind than her. she'd have to do something about it. "it's alright.. shh.." erin held robin as they sobbed apologies. they sniffed and looked up, tears blurring their vision. "i'll help you.." the rabbit tells the snake about their life. they'd gotten lost, separated from their family. they were scared and alone- and now they were grateful someone like the snake came along to help them. the snake smiles. if the rabbit didn't know any better, they would say something was hiding behind those green eyes and shiny scales. the snake points out the rabbit’s flaws and shows them how to be more like her. they became like the snake- swift, cunning, and sneaky. they thought it was strange, their behavior beginning to feel unnatural and uncomfortable. robin wasn't sure why they felt so... alone. they were starting to fit in with a crowd of sorts after finally listening to erin, yet it felt wrong. they always felt lonely and like they were playing a role that belonged to someone else. they hated it. they knew they would rather be the way they were before, but they also knew that meant disappointing erin and possibly having to sit down to really explain how they didn't fit her idea of the perfect child because they weren't that at all. robin wanted to be robin. the snake begins to grow impatient as the rabbit becomes tired of being a snake. the rabbit had started to rebel, no longer accepting the idea of being like the snake. it wasn’t good for them. she found a sick sort of happiness in seeing the rabbit squirm when they tried to be a snake. she still had power over the rabbit, even if they didn’t know that. while she convinced the rabbit she was harmless, their instincts were still to be wary. but now the rabbit was squirming less and less, and it pisses her off. she had to deal with her problem, and she had to deal with it now. "i'm sick of you disappearing all the time and acting this way! i taught you to be better than this!" "you're never here anyways, why should you care?" "don't you take that tone with me. i am an adult. you are to respect me." erin and robin argued for the second time that day. it had been a year. robin had swapped schools, now in one that didn't require uniform or specific length of hair. robin liked having short hair, and they liked it even more when it was their favorite color. they liked not having to make it straight or braid it. they liked getting to wear what they want, wearing hoodies and bright bracelets. they liked having actual friends that actually cared and liked them for being them. there was only three like that, but three real friends was better than thirty fake ones. erin, of course, had moved them with the idea that they would keep being the way erin wanted (as well as not having to spend extra money while getting to claim robin was doing better). that backfired, but she couldn't move them back. it would make her look bad. the snake begins to slither around the rabbit. she is going to end this, here and now. the rabbit realizes something is wrong when she tightens her grip and refuses to let go. she opened her mouth wide and showed her fangs- which is the exact moment the trust the rabbit had for the snake disappears. the snake had lied- she isn’t harmless. she could've ended them in one quick motion at any time she pleased.

the rabbit was disgusted. she saw how they reacted and behaved, how they slowly began to hate everything about and around them. they realized that there really was something behind her friendly facade, that she enjoyed seeing them become what she wanted. she enjoyed having them under her control. the snake moves quick, but the rabbit moves quicker. the snake's jaw snaps shut, as does the rabbit's. however, only one made their mark. the rabbit outsmarted the snake. they open their mouth and let her go. she had released her grip, startled and in pain. the rabbit ran at a speed they never thought they would reach, not stopping until they could barely breathe. they were done with the snake and they weren’t going to go back. "yeah, i know." robin grabbed a magnet off of the fridge and stuck the folded up paper underneath. they weren't really paying attention to the area around them- there was nothing to pay attention to. they were sure this time. "mhm. yeah, i guess i'm just worried." they walked out to the living room, grabbing their beat up, untied converse and slipping them on as they fell back onto the couch to tie them. the rabbit didn't do much excited hopping anymore. rabbits had short lives- they knew this much -and they'd already wasted a good portion of it being lied to. the rabbit was scared of wasting more of their limited time. they knew they were wasting time worrying about wasting time and not getting anything done, but they just couldn't bring themself to start anew. that was, until they woke up one morning scared that it finally sunk in. they needed to do something, and now. "i..." robin stared down at their shoes. they'd had them for a couple years, having bought them with their own money. they were extra proud when they did. "yh- yeah, i'm still here." robin blinked away tears as they began to think about what they missed out on for eighteen whole years. that was almost a fifth of the average lifespan- maybe even a quarter. they didn't remember what it was last, and they had never cared to know in the first place. knowing they had an expiration date and a general idea of when it could be scared them. "i can't. i don't want to- honestly.. i know they're gone for another two weeks and i can wait until tomorrow, but if i wait... i don't think i'll ever do it." robin stood up, grabbing their suitcase from beside the coffeetable and taking their bag off of the hook beside the door. "i'll meet you there, okay?" it was tough, being a rabbit in a world where others could quickly try and take advantage. but they pushed and pushed, trying their hardest to stand up for themself and those around them. the rabbit had their days- the ones where they wanted to stay in their hole where it was safe, where nothing could hurt them. but even still, the white rabbit hopped through the grass without a care in the world.

[raviposting]

top 5 ships that weren’t endgame

Sorry this ask just brought up...so...much...bitterness. I ended up not including characters who loved each other till the end (like Wes/Fred) or ships that I knew would never be with each other (like Sansaery) so uhh here’s ships that I very clearly thought would stay together and be endgame only to be sidelined by the shows. 

MOTHER. FUCKING. SWARKLES. I will never, ever understand how the writers of HIMYM thought that breaking up Barney and Robin, a ship that fandom loved, a ship who’s entire wedding was the entire setting of the last season, a ship who’s wedding LED Ted to meet The Mother, WHO THE STORY IS ABOUT, would get!!! Divorced!!! In the last finale! AFTER YEARS! 20 minutes after we saw them get married!!!! I will never, ever be over this ohhhh my god I’m bitter all over again. 

Side note if you had to make an “””””alternate ending”””””” that was clearly a 5 minute rush job because fans hated your actual ending so much it wasn’t a good finale. 

While I don’t actually like Ted/Tracy at this level @ himym maybe don’t disgrace Tracy’s memory by killing her off from an unnamed disease and then having Ted marry Robin where both characters repeatedly said they weren’t right for each other and listed explicit reasons why which were never cleared up in the finale kk cool 

Jackie and Hyde from That 70′s Show!!! They were great and the show really went out of their way to ruin them. The last season was bad enough, but making Jackie’s endgame Fez? I would have been okay with Kelso, they had history, but Fez?? I loved Jackie, and I loved Fez, but them together? I wasn’t with it, and it came out of nowhere. I live in the world of fanfic where they’re together and have reconnected oh god I want to read a Hyde & Jackie fic now. 

Speaking of couples shows went out of their way to ruin, Andy & Erin from The Office. They really just broke them up for no reason (even though Andy risked his job and went to Florida to win Erin back?) and did it to do the whole “Erin = new Pam” “Pete??? Is that his name??? = new Jim” in the last season. It was dumb. I get what they were trying to do. I get it. I respect what they were trying to do. I really do. But I also hated it. Erin wasn’t really like Pam except for the fact that she was the receptionist. Pete wasn’t as interesting or endearing as Jim. It felt like a cheap set up and I haaaaaated it and the fact that I was rooting for two disasters only for them to not get back together - that being said, sometimes I think that they could have. It reminds me of Pam going “maybe I’ll date someone, and then he will, and then the timing will be right” or something like that. Like they’ll be together in the future, even if that’s not what the show did. 

I also really love the idea of bi!Andy which I feel was basically canon tbh so him and Oscar would have been amazing (and uh probably more age appropriate than Andy/Erin if I’m going to be completely honest). 

 I’m honestly still equally bitter about these two BS couple splits: Danny/Vicky from Full House and Will/Lisa from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Will and Lisa called off their wedding because of?? Nerves?? It was dumb and then their parents got married. They’re step siblings now what the fuck. And Will just never mentioned Lisa again even though she was involved in so much character development for him and oh yeah, they were going to get married. Also Vicky and Danny had such a sweet Disney engagement and then they called it off and I don’t even remember why they called it off but it was dumb okay. 

Xander and Anya oh my god. They were just??? Really nice and the show KILLED HER. IN. THE. FINALE. She died in like 3 seconds you could have blinked and missed it. They were just. So good and sweet and honestly idk if they’re ever really my top 5 but they deserved better damn it

Also while I didn’t ship Willow/Tara they were really sweet and Kennedy fucking sucked and Tara was amazing so those two deserved happiness

Also I would have been interested in seeing how Willoz would have turned out? I know they said there was going to be a cool Oz (and ultimately Willoz) storyline had he actually decided to stay on the show. I don’t think it’s worth the queer rep we got but still I do wonder how that would have worked out. 

Also special shoutout to Destiel because even though Supernatural is still going on I know this ship is queerbait and it’ll never happen woooooooooooooo

Special shoutout #2 is Makorra. I actually love Korra’s endgame with Asami and while it took me by surprise because I never thought we’d have a queer ship, I loved it. And I was glad because I had been expecting Makorra to be endgame but I was worried because while they were both growing and developing really well as people, I didn’t think that they were ready to be together again. So, I was actually really, really pleased with the fact that they weren’t endgame, but that being said, I still really loved them! I shipped them for 4 years and even though I don’t reblog it as much anymore, it was a ship I adored and continue to adore and ship - and I think that hey, if Asami wasn’t there (or if LOK ever wanted to/had been allowed to explore polyamory) that if they had gotten another season of development it would have been great, but it didn’t happen. 

Ask me my Top 5 anything!

[unwanted-animal]

Hey John! Have you been keeping up with ouat? I stopped watching right before rumple has really short hair? What's happened since?

this is gonna be long erin i’m so sorry 

-sucks in a breath-

So S5 ended with Belle putting herself in a sleeping curse so Rumple could save their baby. He does, and when he get back to storybrooke he takes Hades’ magic crystal and takes the magic from Storybrooke so he can try to wake her. He goes to new york, henry and violet and emma and regina chase him because wanting to wake your pregnant wife is TOTES EVIL GAIS so Snow tells the new villain, Mr. Hyde, that Rumple’s trying to wake his pregnant wife so Hyde steals her and they have to go to the land of untold stories to get her back

s6 starts with rumple getting her back and he goes to “Morpheus”, god of dreams, to wake her. but in the dream, when he’s trying to ease belle’s nightmares and wake her, “Morpheus” reveals himself to be their son all grown up somehow even though he’s a fetus inside belle and now belle is mad at rumple for tricking her when he DIDNT FUCKING DO ANYTHING and so her unborn fetus kisses her and she wakes up and she storms back to storybrooke because reasons apparently.

Anyway she breaks up with rumple AGAIN - they’re married, I want to point out - and goes to stay on the jolly roger because living with the man who tried to kill you three times is apparently better than living with your husband who hasn;’t done ANYTHING wrong in a whole season but what the fuck ever right? anyway hyde is loose and rumple puts a spell on the boat to protect belle and keep the bad guys out but SURPRISE Dr Jekyll is the real bad guy and he was??? already on the boat??? so Hyde uses the dagger to force rumple to stand around useless as Jekyll tries to kill belle

and Captain Rape Bro gets to save her because this show can’t do a fucking thing without trying to paint Admitted Serial Killer and Drunk Captain Hook in a good light

rumple can’t like. look himself in the eyes in a mirror. so he cuts his hair because bob had to cut it for Trainspotting 2 and all their wigs were terrible and could not capture the majesty of the floof

so Belle yells terrible things at rumple for using the spell on the boat and says he cut his hair??? for her??? when no he did it because he hates himself you’ve known him for like a hundred years belle wtf and rumple gets mad and says yeah you’ll only be with me when you need me for something and they stay apart

Belle, throughout the next half season arc, continues to fucking come by rumple’s shop just to insult him. meanwhile regina drinks the potion to separate her and the evil queen just like hyde and jekyll did so the EQ is just. free. because lana is amazing and they wanted two of her. so, fuck yeah for that. but the EQ wants to jump Rumple’s bones even though they’ve NEVER had that sort of relationship and it was always mentor/student - you know, because rumple was in love with C O R A. Her MOM. 

anyway eq is like hey look we can speed up the pregnancy and rumple’s like alright and she kisses him a bunch and he goes to see belle but he doesn’t use the potion. belle uses the ‘IF YOU DO THIS WE’LL NEVER GET BACK TOGETHER’ line she’s been using since s5 because nothing says true love like literal emotional manipulation

so rumple dumps the eq 

there’s like some shears that can cut the strands of fate??? rumple wanted to use them to free their son from any ties to the darkness(tm) but hook gets a hold of them and rumple has decided that was dumb anyway

Belle refuses to let rumple anywhere near her or the child so when the EQ speeds up her pregnancy- which she blames rumple for, ugh - she gives baby Gideon to the Shady Blue Fairy.

Who gets beat up.

The baby is taken by the black fairy, rumple’s mum, and like taken to a land where he’s aged up into an emo brat

and again, belle blames rumple for this

also emma has dreams about a cloaked figure killing her and she thinks it’s regina but she’s also super anxious because OH NO SHE WANTS TO BE HOOK’S HAPPY ENDING BECAUSE HE DESERVES ONE AND SHE WANTS TO GIVE HIM BABIES TO MAKE HIM HAPPY and Archie is like “fuck this y’all need Jaybus they don’t pay me enough for this shit”

Anyway the figure turns out to be Gideon who wants to be the saviour.... because???

for some stupid reason Snowing is cursed so one half of them is always a sleep i think the EQ did that i don’t know

anyway the EQ gets ahold of... the lamp? something? and makes a wish that emma gets put in like her perfect world so she’s put into a wish realm where she’s a princess and she married Bae but he died and her parents are still the rulers and it’s kinda cute but Regina follows her in and pretends to be the EQ so she can wake emma up and she does!

Also hook’s old and grey and has a huge beer gut and it revitalized me

So emma and regina are gonna go home but then! LO! A ROBIN HOOD!

robin’s not even a hero anymore he’s just a fuckin layabout thief

in a Gay Panic(tm) regina’s like eeeeyyyyy come home with us bc i can’t exist without a white man in my life apparently and they have to go find pinnochio who’s still a shifty bastard and they go through a tree wardrobe back to storybrooke because fuck continuity 

and now gideon is back and he’s emoing all over storybrooke and there’s sexual tension between him and rumple ‘cause he blames rumple even though rumple didn’t do??? a fucking thing??? and rumple’s like ‘fine then punish me’ chicka bow but gideon’s dead set on becoming the saviour so prances about in his voldemort cloak and belle’s like ‘shit we messed up’ and i’m like ‘YOU messed up miss gold but whatever’ and they seem to be bonding but we all know adam and eddy hate the rumbelle fandom so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ who knows

and that’s about where we are right now, s6 is still airing and it’s bad