#also does bad nhl unis.
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
ratatatastic · 1 month ago
Text
listen i know it was a joke that these f*natics jerseys were so bad its gonna be ripped off someone during a fight but...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
i dont think its a joke anymore...
102 notes · View notes
morwensteelsheen · 3 years ago
Note
prompt, if it speaks to you: since its the reason for the season, olympics au?
lmao this is so funny because i was just thinking the other day how everybody in LOTR has tremendous ice hockey player energy. i know that’s not summer olympics but im unfortunately only a jock in the cold lmao. also my brain immediately forgot how to produce words so here’s a bullet point outline:
miracle on ice style matchup between hybridised rohan/gondor and m o r d o r
gondor and rohan aren’t split they’re just separate hockey leagues like when the NHL was the NHA and the PCHA. so it’s totally normal and reasonable that a national team would comprise players from both leagues who theoretically have never met each other
denethor is the ultimate hockey dad. i don’t know how to explain what that is except by saying think amy poehler in mean girls except a fan of light beer and has unnervingly intense opinions about trucks.
boromir played center for years but took a bad hit that ended his career early, now working his way up the coaching hierarchy, good energy, but weak on the tactics, but that’s fine because he’s getting better each season
faramir is acting out the entirety of zac efron’s character arc in high school musical 1, except at the olympic level, which I think conveys exactly the level of insanity in that pre-siege pissing contest in ROTK lmao. “there’s more to life than just sports, dad!” he also plays right wing.
the rohirrim are like the PCHA side, éomer plays left wing, théoden is…. an assistant coach.
Éowyn plays right wing but has only just come up from like the NCAA equivalent so is severely underestimated. she was a starting right wing on her uni team but the national team coaches slotted her in as second string on the expectation that she would Likely Not Play
Faramir gets his shit rocked at the quarterfinals, but in a cool and fun way, let’s say, by making a check that ultimately killed a play’s forward momentum and saved the game.
which means Éowyn has to get bumped up to first string, woohoo
Obviously she rocks, obviously she’s going to [spins wheel] get a devastatingly slick hat trick, and even though they end the game up 5-2, meaning they theoretically might have won without all of her goals, it wouldn’t have been as cool
also she does a slightly illegal board check on some dude whose last name is angmar but since there’s no VAR equiv and the ref is conveniently distracted, she only doee like two minutes in the box even though she just wrecked this man’s whole life
there’s the legendary olympic village shagging going on, but it’s also emotional. éowyn is very much sympathetic to faramir’s generalised sense of angst, though hers is more obviously directed at being routinely underrated, whereas faramir is — and i cannot stress this enough — literally troy bolton.
at the end faramir gets to use his injury to very happily skeet skeet the fuck out of doing the stuff he doesn’t want to do, and éowyn gets to capitalise on her cool as shit olympics performance to get some lucrative contracts &c, &c, &c.
i really just obliterated my brain thinking about how faramir’s arc is so similar to the traditional sports son character arcs that i don’t think i was able to process beyond that, im so sorry lmao
3 notes · View notes
luckylq38-blog · 4 years ago
Text
There is definitely a certain kind of woman who loves Eres
Wing back Peter Queally recounts his reaction to the final whistle. "It's unbelievable. I don't think anyone wants to leave the stands and the players don't want to leave the pitch. Look over your certificate carefully before having it finalized. This is the time to catch any mistakes because they are usually quick and free to correct before the certificate is finalized. Some states have you look over the certificate first, while others, like the Office of the City Clerk in New York City have you watch a monitor as the clerk types in the information..
wholesale nfl jerseys Eleven2 is in the process of switching nearly 60,000 of its currently hosted websites to Apache. cheap nfl jerseys It has already transitioned most customers to the new platform without any service disruption or changes in application performance because Litespeed was designed to be compatible with Apache.
Apache, our clients were unable to take advantage of many advanced management features that are available with cPanel integration. It is important we offer a platform that delivers on our promise to offer the best software environment for developers, and Litespeed was a bad choice for our customers, said Eleven2 CEO and founder Rodney Giles.The switch, according to the company, also makes iteasier forcustomers to control their Ruby on Rails applications through Eleven2 control panel customizations.  wholesale nfl jerseys
cheap jerseys America did not, nor does not want force; but she wanted a proper application of that force. Wisdom is not the purchase of a day, and it is no wonder that we should err at the first setting off. From an excess of tenderness, https://www.wholesalejerseyslan.com/ we were unwilling to raise an army, and trusted our cause to the temporary defence of a well meaning militia.  cheap jerseys
Cheap Jerseys china This is one of the herbs deer won eat that attracts butterflies, birds and bees. It performs best in soils with a pH level between 5.6 and 7.5. Grow anise in well draining, fertile, loamy soil located in an area that receives full sun to partial shade.  Cheap Jerseys china
Cheap Jerseys from china This is especially helpful, if you have to remove your dog or cat from the carrier. nfl jerseys Try to travel on the weekends. High traffic times are just like normal business rush hour traffic hours. Please note that CBC does not endorse the opinions expressed in comments. Comments on this story are moderated according to our Submission Guidelines. Comments are welcome while open.  Cheap Jerseys from china
Cheap Jerseys from china As time passes and new restaurant trends join the market, it often not enough for long established eateries to continue doing business the same way year after year and decade after decade. Paul Awramko, the owner ofPaul Bar Bowling, learned this lesson the hard way when the 85 year old establishment found profits rapidly declining in the last eight years. Has really changed of the dark, old fashioned interior at Paul says Ed Arzoomanian, an investor in the business.  Cheap Jerseys from china
We were thrilled to start carrying Eres, the Parisian luxury lingerie brand. There is definitely a certain kind of woman who loves Eres. She is someone who knows true quality, without showiness. They would put in a nutrient recycling system that would create biological stability and reduce nutrient loss to the atmosphere, http://www.okcheapjerseys.com/ eliminate potential leaching during the rainy season, reduce runoff into nearby waterways, and reduce odor. Would also produce nutrient dense organic compost ready to be used on their fields and shared with family, friends and neighbors. The Mahaffys have been Organic Valley farmer owners since 2003..
cheap jerseys Except your advantages, you need other extra efforts. So you can get a dominant position in the race. At first, you can not find the skills. Uni watch: The Bills are going with a combination of white jerseys and blue pants against the Eagles. Dec. 20.Once Sunday's game gets started, here are five things I'll be looking for:1.  cheap jerseys
cheap nfl jerseys As the pioneer in this field, Mitchell Ness is known worldwide for its authentic classic jerseys. The company holds licenses from the MLB, NBA, NFL, wholesale jerseys from china NHL and NCAA to produce premium apparel and headwear. Headquartered in Philadelphia, PA, Mitchell Ness has been "Defining Authentic" for over 100 years..  cheap nfl jerseys
cheap nfl jerseys It wasn't until we got bombed that any of us felt any great fear. In those days they didn't pipe "Action Stations," but they piped to tell us that there were bombers coming in and I remember I had a mate on one of the guns and I looked up and saw the bombs coming down. We were travelling at high speedszig zaggingso the Captain managed to dodge the bombs that time.  cheap nfl jerseys
Cheap Jerseys china Denis Menchov (Rus/Rabobank) +2'58" 5. Jurgen van den Broeck (Bel/Omega Pharma Lotto) +3'31" 6. Levi Leipheimer (US/RadioShack) +3'59"7. https://www.cheapjerseys18.com/ Jun 01It PRIDE day and the whole team is dressing in each individual appropriate flag/colors to represent themselves and walking in the parade for SMH. Even Jack and Shitty are there. Dex decides this is it.  Cheap Jerseys china
wholesale jerseys "Alright, we're going to need one of you to charmingly give your jersey to a fan in the middle of the game. Come on, fellas. Whose turn is it? Anyone who says no has to be at the Zoo tomorrow.". The feature is called Google+ Collections, and it's pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Users can create collections of content around any given topic, just as they could create a board on Pinterest or a magazine on Flipboard. Ultimately in ends up looking like another Google+ page, but centered around the theme the user has chosen wholesale jerseys.
1 note · View note
rowingviolahere · 6 years ago
Text
a wrap-up (ha!) of my new hockey experience
i’ve played (field) hockey for more than 10 years but i just started playing ice hockey and thought i’d write some of the stuff down. basically a group at my uni were looking for people interested and i joined up knowing NOTHING about ice hockey except Knife Shoes. but in summary: im now four different hockey players in a hoodie (indoor, field-field, field-goalie, ice ice baby)
(before anyone asks, yes, this was highly motivated by a recent reread of check please, but turns out ice hockey is heaps fun). rest under a cut to save your dashboards because i know that most people on my dash don’t care about (penumbra voice) spORTS! SPORTS! SPORTS!
the good:
you’re allowed to use backstick? WILD
also you’re allowed to stick check!! what the hell!!! one of the guys at off-ice grabbed the puck off me w what in field would be an ILLEGAL stick check and i was like “ok stop. hang on. i need some clarification. are you allowed to do [stick checks/obstruction/tackling from behind/swing tackles]” “yes” “there are no rules and i am UNSTOPPABLE” *immediately steals the puck back from him*
like two months of Actual Ice Hockey Training Weekly and starting from “can go forwards turn-ish and do hockey stops on one side sometimes” my skating skills are while not top noch, Muchly Improved. i can now do crossovers forwards and backwards in both directions, hockey stop both ways, and i know OF mohawks though they still elude me
having your own skates means edges actually..... exist. wild. i’d used hire skates all my life and got on the ice w my new ones and i was like. Oh. This Is It. Can Never Go Back Now.
wax for stick wrapping smells Good Actually. kind of want to. chomp it. (Forbidden.)
women are just. heaps allowed to play in the men’s league in my city w no issues so! if i end up medically transitioning i wouldn’t have to jump through hoops about it unlike field where i guess i’d have to start playing for the men’s club (which is a Separate Club to my current one and is from what i’ve seen super disorganised.)
was able to answer not one but TWO ice hockey-related questions at field trivia night. (admittedly one was a wild guess and resulted in me just going through all the NHL team names i knew until i went “i think that one sounds right”)
swapping which hand goes on top of the stick means that i can just do backstick stuff without my brain going “NO!!! THAT’S WRONG!!!!” which is a real good brainhack
i now exist in a weird position in the omgcp fandom where i have PLAYED and therefore have at least some experience to draw on wrt THAT but still very little idea of anything involving like actual NHL-related stuff (oh god does this make me bitty?)
the bad
oof ouch ow my LEGS
god that’s so much money. so fucking much money. i have a full kit of ice hockey stuff but god at what costs
(i know the costs. at least 900 plus travel expenses. cost of playing a comparatively niche sport that requires a lot of gear i guess)
so. much. cardio. why offside. there’s no offside in field. (don’t @ me i know why there’s offside in ice. i just hate it.)
im still not sure about whether “shoots right-handed” means you have a “right-handed stick” or if it’s like. the opposite. idk idc my left hand is on top bc otherwise i’ll start importing nonsense into my field game
[pokes bruises] how did THAT get there
no one told me how long shifts were meant to be in my first game so i was on the ice for like. a full five minutes. d e a d. (although my only point of reference was field hockey and again. that’s like. five-ten maybe fifteen before you get a sub.)
still don’t have a jersey because shipping to australia costs like. $50 extra? why this (still need to get one tho)
we’re probs not going to get any more games until next semester and tryouts for actual teams aren’t until like. october. h h h. gotta make do w pickup training till then
having a different hand on top of the stick means i have to relearn how to shoot. i want to be able to do these wrist shots people keep talking about. i can barely flick in outdoor anyway but. c’mon. wanna be able to pass strong.
the probably unnecessary but worth mentioning
i’ve been using my goalie smock as a jersey and look. it works. (bonus: it now smells kind of like the ice rather than just. goalie stank.)
have started wrapping bits of my field stick with hockey tape (and i hear you all booing but look. it’s an old stick i’ve had for about 7 years and it cost $40 bc i got it in the middle of the season and also it’s wood which i did not realise when i bought it but yeah the edges have started to shed a bit more than usual and while im not worried about it shattering like i was w my indoor stick because it’s wood it IS chipping at an increased rate and i literally just spent $30 on a new grip so i don’t want to get a new stick until next season at LEAST so. tape.)
most wild of the wild: my old indoor coach was at pickup training and i recognised her name bc it was kind of distinctive and she was like ‘how do you know that’ and i was like ‘i think you coached my indoor team when i was 12′
im trying to start fitness training for my field team and it is Not Working so far but i’m going to try.
4 notes · View notes
thrashermaxey · 6 years ago
Text
Ramblings – Stanley Cup Hangover, Draft Stuff, Carlson, ROR & OEL
  There’s always a concern about a team suffering from a Stanley Cup hangover. The wear and tear on the body from an extended season. The adrenal fatigue that comes with the insane high of winning a championship. And of course, the brutality that the liver is faced with in the days and weeks that follow the cup ceremony.  It sure looks like Ovi is handling it better than Backstrom thus far.
  {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Coming home with some new friends. <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ALLCAPS?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ALLCAPS</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/StanleyCup?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#StanleyCup</a> <a href="https://t.co/y06xj5CjEr">pic.twitter.com/y06xj5CjEr</a></p>— Washington Capitals (@Capitals) <a href="https://twitter.com/Capitals/status/1005131293904916480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2018</a></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}
  {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Hey DC. We are coming in hot!<a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ifthereisonecitythatdiservesthis?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ifthereisonecitythatdiservesthis</a>? <a href="https://t.co/G6QzX5h1VU">pic.twitter.com/G6QzX5h1VU</a></p>— Nicklas Backstrom (@backstrom19) <a href="https://twitter.com/backstrom19/status/1005142843986468864?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2018</a></blockquote><script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}
  But in all seriousness, after spending 13 years together climbing to the top of the mountain, there’s a legitimate chance that Ovechkin and Backstrom step off the gas a bit to start next season. Especially Backstrom as he’ll have some healing to do this offseason that will take away from training.
  Watch for that lull and take advantage if you can. If they start icy, it’ll be a prime opportunity to get one or both at a discounted price.
    **
  Last week I spoke about Oliver Ekman-Larsson’s pending free agency in 2019. At the time, it was reported that the Coyotes have an eight-year deal on the table for 8.25 million. John Chayka does not appear to be a man who minces words or actions. There’s a reason the organization is putting that worthy of an offer on the table 13 months before their star blueliner is eligible to test the waters. And that’s to know what his intentions are.
  OEL can take the offer under advisement for the summer and not allow the team to glean much information from it. Or, he can thank them and politely and decline saying he wishes to focus on next season and leave the contractual part of the game for next summer. If that’s the case, I have a sinking suspicion that Arizona will dangle OEL at the draft in Dallas.
  Imagine the draft floor chatter that will be flying about if both OEL and Erik Karlsson are being legitimately shopped.
  Fortunately for me, this will be my first live draft as a member of the media. And I can’t wait!
  **
  {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">T-minus one week until my final <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/2018NHLDraft?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#2018NHLDraft</a> Rankings come out. <br><br>Crunch time! <a href="https://t.co/Jaa16zdeTc">pic.twitter.com/Jaa16zdeTc</a></p>— /Cam Robinson/ (@CrazyJoeDavola3) <a href="https://twitter.com/CrazyJoeDavola3/status/1004814967512551424?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}
  My Final 2018 Draft Rankings will drop next Thursday, June 14th on DobberProspects. Keep an eye out for it.
    **
  Continuing with the draft-eligible players, it appears that Brady Tkachuk’s 2018-19 season is very much an unknown.
  {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Top <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/NHLDraft?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#NHLDraft</a> Prospect Brady Tkachuk to <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/OHL?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#OHL</a> London rumour certainly has legs. <br><br>I'm told that former Boston U Coach David Quinn's departure for the NHL is making Brady think twice.<br><br>Will come down to whether or not he's <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/NHL?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#NHL</a> ready or not – if not, look for him to be in London.</p>— OHLInsiders(.com) (@OHLinsiders) <a href="https://twitter.com/OHLinsiders/status/1004693436371529729?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}
  This comes on the heels of his announcement to return to Boston University for a sophomore campaign a few weeks ago. However, it appears David Quinn grabbing the Rangers’ gig has changed some things.
  Many had assumed that Tkachuk would be one of the more NHL-ready prospects and thus hold some more clout in fantasy drafts this fall. Being drafted out of the NCAA will facilitate a multitude of options. Tkachuk will be eligible to play in the NCAA, OHL, AHL or NHL. If he ends up in London, lets hope he just takes number seven to save fans from going out and getting a new jersey as brother, Matthew rocked that uni during his monster 2015-16 season with the Knights.
  However, this new revelation re-opens the door for an NHL debut next fall. That should play a role in his fantasy draft slot.
  **
  Is there another NHL team that benefits more from the increasing salary cap than the Washington Capitals? With a reported 5-7 million being tacked onto the roof this offseason, that will likely facilitate them retaining John Carlson.
  {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">John Carlson records his 55th career playoff point, setting <a href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/ALLCAPS?src=hash&ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">#ALLCAPS</a> record for playoff points by a defenceman</p>— Sportsnet Stats (@SNstats) <a href="https://twitter.com/SNstats/status/1004900838475616256?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 8, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}
  The powerful right-shot blueliner re-established himself as a cornerstone fantasy asset this past season. Leading all blueliners in points is fantastic, but replicating it is always the hard part. However, he attained his lofty numbers on the back of some sustainable metrics. 
  Carlson shot the puck a great deal more this season – besting his previous career-high by 29. Yet his conversion rate remained consistent with his career norms. The other main factor to his 68-point season was the 33 power play points – another slam dunk career-high. He saw over a minute more per night on the man-advantage than 2016-17 and cleary made good use of the additional time.
  While 2017-18 very well could end up as his peak season, there's little reason to believe the 28-year-old won't be flirting with the top of the pile for defenseman scoring in immediate future. There is no one sniffing around his spot on the top powerplay unit, and his surrouding talent will remain quite high.
  **
  Positions aside, who do you like?
  {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">Points Only Keeper League Pickum!</p>— /Cam Robinson/ (@CrazyJoeDavola3) <a href="https://twitter.com/CrazyJoeDavola3/status/1004770102225428480?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 7, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}
  **
  Last week I touched on the precarious position that Erik Haula is holding as the Golden Knights’ second line centre. With Cody Glass and Nick Suzuki sniffing around NHL jobs as early as next fall, his time as a primary offensive piece is limited.
  Over the course of the off-season, I’ll continue to highlight some other players whose positions are in danger and thus are ripe for a fall from fantasy relevance.
  This week, we’ll talk about Ryan O’Reilly.
  For the past three seasons, the Sabres’ pivot has been playing between a 60 and 70-point pace. He’s been remarkably consistent since 2011-12 – never failing to play at least at a 55-point pace. He’s offered strong value in points’ leagues and even more so if you find yourself a setup that counts faceoffs.
    The 27-year-old has done his damage on the scoresheet while plying away on bad teams. Just when things are appearing to turn the corner in Buffalo with the addition of Rasmus Dahlin, his position seems as insecure as ever.
    {source}<blockquote class="twitter-tweet" data-lang="en"><p lang="en" dir="ltr">.<a href="https://twitter.com/DarrenDreger?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">@darrendreger</a> on Ryan O'Reilly: The price tag is going to be very high. It's starting to feel like it's more likely now. (Botterill) is going to need several pieces. It's going to likely be a young NHL player or a prospect, a high pick, and maybe something on top of that</p>— TSN Radio Vancouver (@TSN1040) <a href="https://twitter.com/TSN1040/status/1004129121730027520?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">June 5, 2018</a></blockquote>
<script async src="https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js" charset="utf-8"></script>{/source}
  The Sabres have allowed the whispers to hit the wind that they’d be open to moving O’Reilly and his five remaining years at 7.5 million. The team had a glimpse of their future down the middle, and a cost-controlled Casey Mittelstadt lining up behind Jack Eichel sure seems like a nice place to be.
  Mitteltstadt is a dynamic centre who controls the game with elite speed and skill. He’s more of a playmaker compared to Eichel and that will bode well to diversify the waves of attack during even-strength. It will also allow the two to play to their strengths on the top power-play unit.
  It also means that ROR is likely destined to be a very expensive third line centre in the not-so-distant future if he stays in Buffalo.
  The fantasy implications of an O’Reilly deal are hard to ascertain until we A) See it happen, and B) Find out where he lands. Does his skill set (and contract size) garner him a first line gig on a bottom-feeding club? Or does he slide in as a 2/3 centre on a contender? The latter option affords him a greater quality of talent around him, but fewer opportunities to play in high-danger situations.
  If you own him in a keeper league, this is a fluid situation that demands attention.
  **
  @CrazyJoeDavola3
    from All About Sports https://dobberhockey.com/hockey-rambling/ramblings-stanley-cup-hangover-draft-stuff-carlson-ror-oel/
0 notes
yahoo-puck-daddy-blog · 7 years ago
Text
NHL vs. NBA, Golden Knights and Colton Parayko (Puck Daddy Countdown)
Tumblr media
(In which Ryan Lambert takes a look at some of the biggest issues and stories in the NHL, and counts them down.)
6 – Not following the NBA’s lead
If the NBA isn’t the single most popular sports league in the world — and it almost certainly is once you take out the various major European soccer leagues — it’s pretty damn close. One thing you can definitely say about the NBA is that it is exceedingly well-run and profitable.
So it probably tells you something that this is going to be the way the NBA does things, jersey-wise, in the near future:
  Nike and the NBA are doing away with home and road jerseys. Each team will have four uni options and home team picks, road team contrasts it
— Royce Young (@royceyoung) July 18, 2017
I’ve said all along that this is absolutely how the NHL should function. White jerseys can be fine or even good (see: Chicago’s, Montreal’s, Minnesota’s, etc.), but often they’re not, and if it means we’re seeing the Red Wings play the Predators wearing red versus gold, I think that would be good.
Especially because the reason — at least anecdotally — the league switched to color jerseys at home in the first place is that they sell better.
Now obviously the idea that a team would have four jerseys in the NHL is a bit much, but three will probably do the job pretty effectively. And yeah, I think we’re like universally supposed to think third jerseys are dumb, but sometimes? They aren’t dumb.
This is definitely one of those things they should put me in charge of. I would get it right. History has proven this.
5 – Shortchanging Tomas Tatar
I touched on this the other day, but the idea that the Wings are crying poor about paying Tomas Tatar, who led a rotten team in goals last season (albeit shooting 15 percent) while giving Justin Abdelkader and Darren Helm a combined $8.1 million AAV is absolutely stupid.
Like they’re drawing the “you can’t make more than this” line at Justin Abdelkader?
Remember when it was Nick Lidstrom?
That was fine, it made sense. Can’t make more than the second-best defenseman of all time. Fair enough, says I. But if you can’t make more than the seventh-best winger on his own team that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard in my entire life.
Abdelkader made $4.25 million against the cap last season to score seven goals in 64 games. Also he was bad even discounting the scoring he didn’t do, which is a hell of a thing to discount when you’re paying someone $4.25 million. Abdelkader has played almost 550 NHL games and he’s not particularly close to 100 goals. Tatar’s one goal away from the century mark in 200 fewer games. You tell me who’s more valuable.
Hint: It’s not the guy who is 30 years old and also bad!
So yeah, I mean, it’s arbitration stuff and teams are always going to try to low-ball the player. That’s how it goes. But the fact that Tatar is only asking for $5.3 million — i.e. about what Frans Nielsen makes, which seems perfectly reasonable if you’re going to suck anyway — tells you this is Ken Holland drawing some dumb line in the same that doesn’t, frankly, make any sense.
Detroit’s cap situation is bonkers. Nielsen, who’s 33, makes $5.25 million. Abdelkader makes $1 million less than that. Helm is at $3.85 million. Danny DeKeyser makes $5 million! Jonaathan Ericsson makes as much as Abdelkader. How do you explain any of this rationally? Good lord.
Just pay Tatar what he wants. It doesn’t matter. You’re missing the playoffs by a mile regardless, and even if he doesn’t score 25 goals again (he won’t) he’s going to be one of the better players on the roster. And frankly, why risk pissing him off to save a million bucks in a lost season?
It’s almost like Ken Holland is not good at this. Hmm.
4 – Shortchanging Colton Parayko
All the stuff I just said about Tomas Tatar, who I think is pretty good but not, like, great or anything, goes double for Colton Parayko. This kid is pretty close to being an elite defender if he’s not already (and I think I would lean pretty heavily toward being in the latter camp; I think he’s probably already better than Alex Pietrangelo) and the Blues are also crying poor on this.
Elliotte Friedman says they’re about $1.35 million apart on their asks — Parayko also wants $4.85 million for one year, rather than a $3.5 million AAV for two — and it’s like, “Hey man, you can’t make less than three-quarters-of-a-million less than Jay Bouwmeesster here!”
Again, I get it, you’re trying to keep the cost down for the next RFA contract and all that. Sure, makes sense. But man, no one made them give Patrik Berglund $3.85 million or Bouwmeester $5.4 million, right?
Turning out your pockets over a borderline-elite young player, or even a pretty good one, because you’re overpaying mediocre veterans seems like a “you” problem, rather than a “them” problem.
I wonder why NHL teams keep thinking they can get away with this kind of thing.
3 – Oh I figured it out
The reason NHL teams feel more than free to try to screw RFAs come arbitration time every single year is because they know that some team with a need for a good young player on a slightly-above-middling contract, and also plenty of cap room and cash to spend — like say, I don’t know, Boston — would never ever ever ever try to offer-sheet a Parayko type, no matter how much they needed him.
Let’s just stick with the thought experiment here: The Bruins are rebuilding on the fly (haha, that’s what they think) and what are their needs here? Young defensemen and good wingers. They have to re-sign David Pastrnak — who I would guess won’t go more than $6 million — and Ryan Spooner, but that’s about it. Leaves them about $5-6 million to fool around with against the cap this year.
You can get one of these two guys above for about that much, in theory. All it costs you a your next first-, second-, and third-round picks under the current compensation rules. Hell, you can go as high as $7.85 million and still lose that little. The Bruins, in theory, have had plenty of first-round picks in the past few years anyway, so why not take a flyer on a clear top-pairing 24-year-old?
Yeah, St. Louis could match, but why not give ‘er a whirl?
Ah yes, because offer sheets effectively don’t exist in the NHL and probably never will because of how dumb this league is. Right right right. Pretty cool for the teams, though. They get to jerk around their good young players for a while and who doesn’t love that?
2 – Vegas ticket revenues wink wink
I find it just about impossible to believe Vegas is already in the top sixth of the league or so in terms of ticket revenue. They say it’s because a bunch of STHs bought long-term ticket deals at an average price of $88 a head, which seems insanely high to me if you’re locking in long-term deals.
That’s especially true because the stated capacity for T-Mobile Arena is 17,368 (so says Wikipedia). That puts them sixth-smallest in the league, behind everyone but Winnipeg, Brooklyn, Nashville, Arizona, and Anaheim.
How on earth does this team make more in ticket revenue than the Penguins, who have nearly a thousand more seats? Or the Flyers, who pack an extra 2,000 in for sellouts? Doesn’t make sense. Don’t buy it.
1 – Brian Campbell
Bless up to a real modern player.
Campbell always felt pretty underrated to me, in part because everyone hated his last big contract for being too-big. But here’s a Brian Campbell stats dump for you:
A – Brian Campbell is one of only four defensemen to play at least 12,000 minutes at 5-on-5 since 2007.
B – Among the 35 defensemen to play at least 10,000 minutes at 5-on-5 in that time, he’s eighth in points.
C – Among those 35 defenders, he’s also fourth in CF%, at 53.9 percent, behind only future HHoFers Doughty, Keith, and Chara.
D – And then also look at the WOWYs with his five most common D partners over the past decade:
Tumblr media
How many millions of dollars can you directly attribute these guys earning in their careers to the fact that Campbell made them look like superstars pretty much across the board? C’mon!
Yeah I’m a Big Hall guy, but I think at some point we might have to have a Hall of Fame conversation about this guy. Maybe that point is in the next few years.
Hope so. Happy trails.
(Not ranked this week: Not signing Jagr.
Someone sign Jagr already.)
Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.
(All statistics via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)
MORE FROM YAHOO SPORTS
yahoo
0 notes
flauntpage · 7 years ago
Text
The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft
There's no point in avoiding the obvious: following Wednesday's expansion draft, the Vegas Golden Knights are about as bad as an NHL team can be. We knew the Knights would be bad, but no one believed the Knights would be this bad.
So let's just get this out of the way—in this piece about the winners or losers from the expansion draft, the Knights are the biggest losers in Vegas since those four idiots went there for a bachelor party and the one guy passed out on the roof and the other three couldn't remember anything.
The one area where the Knights should have excelled was amassing draft picks. General manager George McPhee had the league's other 30 general managers by the balls, but instead of crushing them until he got what he wanted, he caressed and complimented them. The Knights accumulated only two first-round picks (Nos. 15 and 17); four second-round picks, just one of which is for this year; and a bunch of midrange picks.
Considering the leverage McPhee had going into the expansion draft, he should have gotten much more out of it. There were instances where McPhee took a clearly less valuable player from a roster but got no obvious compensation for leaving the more valuable players alone. If there was a plan, it wasn't apparent last night.
This should seal the Knights' fate for finishing dead last and earning the best lottery odds for the first pick in 2018 (although you never know with the Avalanche still in the league). That was probably always going to be the outcome next season, but it still doesn't make some of McPhee's decisions any less confounding.
Who won? Who lost, besides Vegas? Those are great questions, because I answer them below.
WINNER: Anaheim Ducks
No team was more exposed in the expansion draft than the Ducks, who had both Sami Vatanen and Josh Manson available to be selected. McPhee could've been the mafia, muscling into Ducks GM Bob Murray's territory and eventually owning him because of the stupid way he ran his business. Instead, McPhee acted like a charity, allowing Murray to give him Clayton Stoner and Shea Theodore instead of grabbing either Vatanen or Manson.
Did McPhee and Murray go to boarding school together? Did they marry each other's sisters? What's the excuse for pulling a first-round pick out of the Islanders and the Blue Jackets but settling for Stoner and Theodore from the Ducks? Does Murray know about a murder McPhee did in 1984 and this is the price for keeping quiet? Any of those are more reasonable excuses than "I just liked the Stoner/Theodore package better."
A roster revealed. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports
WINNER: Minnesota Wild
It's a similar situation to what happened with Anaheim. Why take Erik Haula and a prospect instead of taking Eric Staal or Matt Dumba? No one is saying the Knights had to keep Staal, but after a resurgent 2016-17 campaign, he has a reasonable contract and a lot of value on the open market. Was McPhee just exhausted by the process and not willing to start new trade talks on a Thursday? Was he looking forward to a long weekend? Is he staying at a hotel spa on the Strip until free agency?
Even if you don't want Dumba, you should be able to extract something more valuable out of the Wild than Haula. It's not as if Haula is some terrible player, but when you consider the size and depth of the barrel the Wild were over, this is a great outcome for them.
LOSER: James Neal
Oh, James. You poor, poor bastard. Two weeks ago, you were a bounce or two from winning the Stanley Cup. Now you're staring down the possibility of multiple seasons on a losing team with Cody Eakin as your center.
WINNER: New York Rangers
Oscar Lindberg is a fine, decent player with plenty of potential. It's possible he realizes that potential, but it's impossible for it to mean a lick to the overall success of the Knights in the coming years. This was another strange choice by McPhee when staring down a team that had far more valuable assets to lose.
Heck, Lindberg wasn't even the best Swedish forward the Rangers had to offer ('sup, Jesper Fast).
Antti Raanta could be a starting goaltender in the NHL right now. Michael Grabner is earning a pittance while coming off a 27-goal season. The Rangers are cap-strapped and in win-now mode, so the threat of losing Grabner's cheap production should have scared them into sweetening a deal to take Lindberg.
Taking Lindberg isn't as bad as taking Theodore, yet this feels like the biggest favor McPhee did for any GM.
LOSER: All the NHL insiders that tracked all these deals Wednesday
Seriously, no one has done more work over such a doomed operation since that guy who looked like Teemu Selanne designed the Death Star in the Star Wars movie. Thank you for entertaining us. No one has made the exchanging of 11th forwards and seventh defensemen this amusing.
LOSER: Florida Panthers
What. Is. This. Team. Doing?
While McPhee let other teams off the hook, he took the Panthers to the cleaners. He grabbed Jonathan Marchessault and then accepted Reilly Smith in a salary dump in exchange for a fourth-round pick in 2018. Smith may not be worth $5 million per season, but he should score 20 goals playing in a top-six role.
The Panthers have been through shakeup after shakeup after shakeup lately. They bumped out Dale Tallon as GM, had a rough start to the 2016-17 season after making a bunch of analytics-driven signings, and then brought Tallon back. McPhee took advantage of the one team that seems to be in more disarray than Vegas.
WINNER: Dallas Stars
The Stars lost Cody Eakin, who is signed through 2020 with a $3.85 million cap hit and had three goals and nine assists in 60 games. Not to beat this point into the ground, but McPhee did not get enough in terms of bribe draft picks to take on other teams' garbage.
WINNER: Marc-André Fleury
After much thought about this, I say good for Fleury. Going to the Knights might feel like exile, but really it's a reprieve from being trapped in backup goaltender hell for the rest of his time in Pittsburgh. Now he gets to spend part of his career in Vegas, and if anyone deserves it, it's one of the nicest people in the NHL.
He looks very happy to be here. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports
LOSERS: Tourists
You've waited all year. The time is finally here. You're going to Las Vegas, the fun capital of the world. You've packed your sunscreen, bathing suits, and a few hundred bucks you've been squirreling away to use for your can't-miss blackjack system while your spouse and child are asleep in the room.
An ambitious concierge gives you an offer you can't refuse: free tickets to a hockey game. "There's a hockey team here? In Vegas?" "There sure is, and we want to give the three of you free tickets, compliments of the hotel." "Well, sure, we like sports and have always wanted to try out this hockey thing, so let's go tonight!"
As Calvin Pickard skates onto the ice to replace Fleury with the Knights down 5-0 to the Avalanche six minutes into the first period, regret washes over you. We skipped Cirque Du Soleil for this? You go to ask the fans sitting around you if the team is always this bad, when it hits you like a face card when you hit on 12: everyone else at the game is also there because someone gave them free tickets.
You and the family decide to bail after the first period. Weeks later, you're having dinner with two other couples. You spend 45 minutes trashing the NHL. This happens all over the world for the next year. Eventually, the bad word of mouth about the product sinks the Knights. Later, the NHL.
Years go by. You have forgotten about the NHL. Suddenly, your son comes to you and says the words that send a chill down your spine.
"I want to be a hockey player. Like the Vegas guys."
You drop to your knees and shake your fist at the sky. You took your impressionable child to Vegas and the bad influences got to him.
"Why, Vegas?!? Why?!?!"
Sick uni, though. Photo by Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports
You disown your son. You get a divorce. Eventually, the world gets too hot to even go to Vegas in the winter. Yet you go back to the arena, to the place that ruined your life. You go there to find peace. Only the arena has fallen into disrepair. It's not in use. It's so hot, though, that you have to climb through a hole in the fence and go inside the building for shelter from the sun.
You sit in that same seat where you watched that one period of hockey in 2017. A disheveled man sits next to you and vomits on the floor. You ask if he needs help, only to be shooed away. You look closer. You can't believe it.
It's George McPhee.
You tell him your story. He cries. Guilt washes over McPhee. He grabs you by the shirt, drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness.
"This is my fault," McPhee wails.
You choose to take the high road, not entirely understanding the situation. "No, good sir, this could have happened to anyone."
"I can't help but think things would have gone differently if I made different choices," he says, the dried vomit now caked in his graying beard.
"How could you have known?" you say reassuringly.
"I could have taken Manson instead of Theodore," he says.
You hug McPhee. You pull him close. You look him in the eyes and pull him close again. You whisper into his ear, "This is for my family."
You punch McPhee in the stomach, causing him to vomit once more. "You were right," you scream, "it was all your fault."
You return home to repair your life, one that was destroyed because you wanted to see a free hockey game in Vegas in 2017.
The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv
0 notes
flauntpage · 7 years ago
Text
The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft
There's no point in avoiding the obvious: following Wednesday's expansion draft, the Vegas Golden Knights are about as bad as an NHL team can be. We knew the Knights would be bad, but no one believed the Knights would be this bad.
So let's just get this out of the way—in this piece about the winners or losers from the expansion draft, the Knights are the biggest losers in Vegas since those four idiots went there for a bachelor party and the one guy passed out on the roof and the other three couldn't remember anything.
The one area where the Knights should have excelled was amassing draft picks. General manager George McPhee had the league's other 30 general managers by the balls, but instead of crushing them until he got what he wanted, he caressed and complimented them. The Knights accumulated only two first-round picks (Nos. 15 and 17); four second-round picks, just one of which is for this year; and a bunch of midrange picks.
Considering the leverage McPhee had going into the expansion draft, he should have gotten much more out of it. There were instances where McPhee took a clearly less valuable player from a roster but got no obvious compensation for leaving the more valuable players alone. If there was a plan, it wasn't apparent last night.
This should seal the Knights' fate for finishing dead last and earning the best lottery odds for the first pick in 2018 (although you never know with the Avalanche still in the league). That was probably always going to be the outcome next season, but it still doesn't make some of McPhee's decisions any less confounding.
Who won? Who lost, besides Vegas? Those are great questions, because I answer them below.
WINNER: Anaheim Ducks
No team was more exposed in the expansion draft than the Ducks, who had both Sami Vatanen and Josh Manson available to be selected. McPhee could've been the mafia, muscling into Ducks GM Bob Murray's territory and eventually owning him because of the stupid way he ran his business. Instead, McPhee acted like a charity, allowing Murray to give him Clayton Stoner and Shea Theodore instead of grabbing either Vatanen or Manson.
Did McPhee and Murray go to boarding school together? Did they marry each other's sisters? What's the excuse for pulling a first-round pick out of the Islanders and the Blue Jackets but settling for Stoner and Theodore from the Ducks? Does Murray know about a murder McPhee did in 1984 and this is the price for keeping quiet? Any of those are more reasonable excuses than "I just liked the Stoner/Theodore package better."
A roster revealed. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports
WINNER: Minnesota Wild
It's a similar situation to what happened with Anaheim. Why take Erik Haula and a prospect instead of taking Eric Staal or Matt Dumba? No one is saying the Knights had to keep Staal, but after a resurgent 2016-17 campaign, he has a reasonable contract and a lot of value on the open market. Was McPhee just exhausted by the process and not willing to start new trade talks on a Thursday? Was he looking forward to a long weekend? Is he staying at a hotel spa on the Strip until free agency?
Even if you don't want Dumba, you should be able to extract something more valuable out of the Wild than Haula. It's not as if Haula is some terrible player, but when you consider the size and depth of the barrel the Wild were over, this is a great outcome for them.
LOSER: James Neal
Oh, James. You poor, poor bastard. Two weeks ago, you were a bounce or two from winning the Stanley Cup. Now you're staring down the possibility of multiple seasons on a losing team with Cody Eakin as your center.
WINNER: New York Rangers
Oscar Lindberg is a fine, decent player with plenty of potential. It's possible he realizes that potential, but it's impossible for it to mean a lick to the overall success of the Knights in the coming years. This was another strange choice by McPhee when staring down a team that had far more valuable assets to lose.
Heck, Lindberg wasn't even the best Swedish forward the Rangers had to offer ('sup, Jesper Fast).
Antti Raanta could be a starting goaltender in the NHL right now. Michael Grabner is earning a pittance while coming off a 27-goal season. The Rangers are cap-strapped and in win-now mode, so the threat of losing Grabner's cheap production should have scared them into sweetening a deal to take Lindberg.
Taking Lindberg isn't as bad as taking Theodore, yet this feels like the biggest favor McPhee did for any GM.
LOSER: All the NHL insiders that tracked all these deals Wednesday
Seriously, no one has done more work over such a doomed operation since that guy who looked like Teemu Selanne designed the Death Star in the Star Wars movie. Thank you for entertaining us. No one has made the exchanging of 11th forwards and seventh defensemen this amusing.
LOSER: Florida Panthers
What. Is. This. Team. Doing?
While McPhee let other teams off the hook, he took the Panthers to the cleaners. He grabbed Jonathan Marchessault and then accepted Reilly Smith in a salary dump in exchange for a fourth-round pick in 2018. Smith may not be worth $5 million per season, but he should score 20 goals playing in a top-six role.
The Panthers have been through shakeup after shakeup after shakeup lately. They bumped out Dale Tallon as GM, had a rough start to the 2016-17 season after making a bunch of analytics-driven signings, and then brought Tallon back. McPhee took advantage of the one team that seems to be in more disarray than Vegas.
WINNER: Dallas Stars
The Stars lost Cody Eakin, who is signed through 2020 with a $3.85 million cap hit and had three goals and nine assists in 60 games. Not to beat this point into the ground, but McPhee did not get enough in terms of bribe draft picks to take on other teams' garbage.
WINNER: Marc-André Fleury
After much thought about this, I say good for Fleury. Going to the Knights might feel like exile, but really it's a reprieve from being trapped in backup goaltender hell for the rest of his time in Pittsburgh. Now he gets to spend part of his career in Vegas, and if anyone deserves it, it's one of the nicest people in the NHL.
He looks very happy to be here. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports
LOSERS: Tourists
You've waited all year. The time is finally here. You're going to Las Vegas, the fun capital of the world. You've packed your sunscreen, bathing suits, and a few hundred bucks you've been squirreling away to use for your can't-miss blackjack system while your spouse and child are asleep in the room.
An ambitious concierge gives you an offer you can't refuse: free tickets to a hockey game. "There's a hockey team here? In Vegas?" "There sure is, and we want to give the three of you free tickets, compliments of the hotel." "Well, sure, we like sports and have always wanted to try out this hockey thing, so let's go tonight!"
As Calvin Pickard skates onto the ice to replace Fleury with the Knights down 5-0 to the Avalanche six minutes into the first period, regret washes over you. We skipped Cirque Du Soleil for this? You go to ask the fans sitting around you if the team is always this bad, when it hits you like a face card when you hit on 12: everyone else at the game is also there because someone gave them free tickets.
You and the family decide to bail after the first period. Weeks later, you're having dinner with two other couples. You spend 45 minutes trashing the NHL. This happens all over the world for the next year. Eventually, the bad word of mouth about the product sinks the Knights. Later, the NHL.
Years go by. You have forgotten about the NHL. Suddenly, your son comes to you and says the words that send a chill down your spine.
"I want to be a hockey player. Like the Vegas guys."
You drop to your knees and shake your fist at the sky. You took your impressionable child to Vegas and the bad influences got to him.
"Why, Vegas?!? Why?!?!"
Sick uni, though. Photo by Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports
You disown your son. You get a divorce. Eventually, the world gets too hot to even go to Vegas in the winter. Yet you go back to the arena, to the place that ruined your life. You go there to find peace. Only the arena has fallen into disrepair. It's not in use. It's so hot, though, that you have to climb through a hole in the fence and go inside the building for shelter from the sun.
You sit in that same seat where you watched that one period of hockey in 2017. A disheveled man sits next to you and vomits on the floor. You ask if he needs help, only to be shooed away. You look closer. You can't believe it.
It's George McPhee.
You tell him your story. He cries. Guilt washes over McPhee. He grabs you by the shirt, drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness.
"This is my fault," McPhee wails.
You choose to take the high road, not entirely understanding the situation. "No, good sir, this could have happened to anyone."
"I can't help but think things would have gone differently if I made different choices," he says, the dried vomit now caked in his graying beard.
"How could you have known?" you say reassuringly.
"I could have taken Manson instead of Theodore," he says.
You hug McPhee. You pull him close. You look him in the eyes and pull him close again. You whisper into his ear, "This is for my family."
You punch McPhee in the stomach, causing him to vomit once more. "You were right," you scream, "it was all your fault."
You return home to repair your life, one that was destroyed because you wanted to see a free hockey game in Vegas in 2017.
The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv
0 notes
flauntpage · 7 years ago
Text
The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft
There's no point in avoiding the obvious: following Wednesday's expansion draft, the Vegas Golden Knights are about as bad as an NHL team can be. We knew the Knights would be bad, but no one believed the Knights would be this bad.
So let's just get this out of the way—in this piece about the winners or losers from the expansion draft, the Knights are the biggest losers in Vegas since those four idiots went there for a bachelor party and the one guy passed out on the roof and the other three couldn't remember anything.
The one area where the Knights should have excelled was amassing draft picks. General manager George McPhee had the league's other 30 general managers by the balls, but instead of crushing them until he got what he wanted, he caressed and complimented them. The Knights accumulated only two first-round picks (Nos. 15 and 17); four second-round picks, just one of which is for this year; and a bunch of midrange picks.
Considering the leverage McPhee had going into the expansion draft, he should have gotten much more out of it. There were instances where McPhee took a clearly less valuable player from a roster but got no obvious compensation for leaving the more valuable players alone. If there was a plan, it wasn't apparent last night.
This should seal the Knights' fate for finishing dead last and earning the best lottery odds for the first pick in 2018 (although you never know with the Avalanche still in the league). That was probably always going to be the outcome next season, but it still doesn't make some of McPhee's decisions any less confounding.
Who won? Who lost, besides Vegas? Those are great questions, because I answer them below.
WINNER: Anaheim Ducks
No team was more exposed in the expansion draft than the Ducks, who had both Sami Vatanen and Josh Manson available to be selected. McPhee could've been the mafia, muscling into Ducks GM Bob Murray's territory and eventually owning him because of the stupid way he ran his business. Instead, McPhee acted like a charity, allowing Murray to give him Clayton Stoner and Shea Theodore instead of grabbing either Vatanen or Manson.
Did McPhee and Murray go to boarding school together? Did they marry each other's sisters? What's the excuse for pulling a first-round pick out of the Islanders and the Blue Jackets but settling for Stoner and Theodore from the Ducks? Does Murray know about a murder McPhee did in 1984 and this is the price for keeping quiet? Any of those are more reasonable excuses than "I just liked the Stoner/Theodore package better."
A roster revealed. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports
WINNER: Minnesota Wild
It's a similar situation to what happened with Anaheim. Why take Erik Haula and a prospect instead of taking Eric Staal or Matt Dumba? No one is saying the Knights had to keep Staal, but after a resurgent 2016-17 campaign, he has a reasonable contract and a lot of value on the open market. Was McPhee just exhausted by the process and not willing to start new trade talks on a Thursday? Was he looking forward to a long weekend? Is he staying at a hotel spa on the Strip until free agency?
Even if you don't want Dumba, you should be able to extract something more valuable out of the Wild than Haula. It's not as if Haula is some terrible player, but when you consider the size and depth of the barrel the Wild were over, this is a great outcome for them.
LOSER: James Neal
Oh, James. You poor, poor bastard. Two weeks ago, you were a bounce or two from winning the Stanley Cup. Now you're staring down the possibility of multiple seasons on a losing team with Cody Eakin as your center.
WINNER: New York Rangers
Oscar Lindberg is a fine, decent player with plenty of potential. It's possible he realizes that potential, but it's impossible for it to mean a lick to the overall success of the Knights in the coming years. This was another strange choice by McPhee when staring down a team that had far more valuable assets to lose.
Heck, Lindberg wasn't even the best Swedish forward the Rangers had to offer ('sup, Jesper Fast).
Antti Raanta could be a starting goaltender in the NHL right now. Michael Grabner is earning a pittance while coming off a 27-goal season. The Rangers are cap-strapped and in win-now mode, so the threat of losing Grabner's cheap production should have scared them into sweetening a deal to take Lindberg.
Taking Lindberg isn't as bad as taking Theodore, yet this feels like the biggest favor McPhee did for any GM.
LOSER: All the NHL insiders that tracked all these deals Wednesday
Seriously, no one has done more work over such a doomed operation since that guy who looked like Teemu Selanne designed the Death Star in the Star Wars movie. Thank you for entertaining us. No one has made the exchanging of 11th forwards and seventh defensemen this amusing.
LOSER: Florida Panthers
What. Is. This. Team. Doing?
While McPhee let other teams off the hook, he took the Panthers to the cleaners. He grabbed Jonathan Marchessault and then accepted Reilly Smith in a salary dump in exchange for a fourth-round pick in 2018. Smith may not be worth $5 million per season, but he should score 20 goals playing in a top-six role.
The Panthers have been through shakeup after shakeup after shakeup lately. They bumped out Dale Tallon as GM, had a rough start to the 2016-17 season after making a bunch of analytics-driven signings, and then brought Tallon back. McPhee took advantage of the one team that seems to be in more disarray than Vegas.
WINNER: Dallas Stars
The Stars lost Cody Eakin, who is signed through 2020 with a $3.85 million cap hit and had three goals and nine assists in 60 games. Not to beat this point into the ground, but McPhee did not get enough in terms of bribe draft picks to take on other teams' garbage.
WINNER: Marc-André Fleury
After much thought about this, I say good for Fleury. Going to the Knights might feel like exile, but really it's a reprieve from being trapped in backup goaltender hell for the rest of his time in Pittsburgh. Now he gets to spend part of his career in Vegas, and if anyone deserves it, it's one of the nicest people in the NHL.
He looks very happy to be here. Photo by Stephen R. Sylvanie-USA TODAY Sports
LOSERS: Tourists
You've waited all year. The time is finally here. You're going to Las Vegas, the fun capital of the world. You've packed your sunscreen, bathing suits, and a few hundred bucks you've been squirreling away to use for your can't-miss blackjack system while your spouse and child are asleep in the room.
An ambitious concierge gives you an offer you can't refuse: free tickets to a hockey game. "There's a hockey team here? In Vegas?" "There sure is, and we want to give the three of you free tickets, compliments of the hotel." "Well, sure, we like sports and have always wanted to try out this hockey thing, so let's go tonight!"
As Calvin Pickard skates onto the ice to replace Fleury with the Knights down 5-0 to the Avalanche six minutes into the first period, regret washes over you. We skipped Cirque Du Soleil for this? You go to ask the fans sitting around you if the team is always this bad, when it hits you like a face card when you hit on 12: everyone else at the game is also there because someone gave them free tickets.
You and the family decide to bail after the first period. Weeks later, you're having dinner with two other couples. You spend 45 minutes trashing the NHL. This happens all over the world for the next year. Eventually, the bad word of mouth about the product sinks the Knights. Later, the NHL.
Years go by. You have forgotten about the NHL. Suddenly, your son comes to you and says the words that send a chill down your spine.
"I want to be a hockey player. Like the Vegas guys."
You drop to your knees and shake your fist at the sky. You took your impressionable child to Vegas and the bad influences got to him.
"Why, Vegas?!? Why?!?!"
Sick uni, though. Photo by Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports
You disown your son. You get a divorce. Eventually, the world gets too hot to even go to Vegas in the winter. Yet you go back to the arena, to the place that ruined your life. You go there to find peace. Only the arena has fallen into disrepair. It's not in use. It's so hot, though, that you have to climb through a hole in the fence and go inside the building for shelter from the sun.
You sit in that same seat where you watched that one period of hockey in 2017. A disheveled man sits next to you and vomits on the floor. You ask if he needs help, only to be shooed away. You look closer. You can't believe it.
It's George McPhee.
You tell him your story. He cries. Guilt washes over McPhee. He grabs you by the shirt, drops to his knees and begs for forgiveness.
"This is my fault," McPhee wails.
You choose to take the high road, not entirely understanding the situation. "No, good sir, this could have happened to anyone."
"I can't help but think things would have gone differently if I made different choices," he says, the dried vomit now caked in his graying beard.
"How could you have known?" you say reassuringly.
"I could have taken Manson instead of Theodore," he says.
You hug McPhee. You pull him close. You look him in the eyes and pull him close again. You whisper into his ear, "This is for my family."
You punch McPhee in the stomach, causing him to vomit once more. "You were right," you scream, "it was all your fault."
You return home to repair your life, one that was destroyed because you wanted to see a free hockey game in Vegas in 2017.
The Golden Knights Weren't the Only Losers in the Expansion Draft published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv
0 notes