#also do not worry about getting things wrong about wlw bc you were totally on point!

[miss-oranje-disco-dancer]

thank you thank you thank you!! ilysm, vivi <333

i actually hadn't noticed how many high school type tropes are in here, but it totally makes sense now that i think about it! i didn't know that i was a lesbian until i was an adult, so (though i knew i liked women and thought i was bisexual), i wouldn't have recognized my feelings as clearly for 'friends' of mine.

but also i am a sucker for the drinking games trope, soooooo hehe

also! i'm glad you appreciated my take on chris in this!! i pride myself on being a good chris writer lmao (i hope the reason why he was 'an ally' came across 🏳️‍🌈, but ik it was subtle)

and, i did not intentionally do the sunset line above the lesbian flag, i just wanted the colors to match at the top (intentional lesbian but not intentional sunset tho i think that's really cute in retrospect)

take your fast car and keep on driving

pairing: fem! leon kennedy (aka leah) x reader

cw: wlw, use of homophobic slurs, obscure resident evil characters (no, i did not just make all of those names up), angst, light smut, forbidden love, secret relationship.

summary: you are a rookie in the rpd, and so is leah (re2r leon but as a woman). you like her but you know you shouldn't pursue a relationship because this is 1998 and you're the cops.

a/n: this is a commission for @porcelainseashore! also, the title is a line from fast car by tracy chapman bc i like to cry to that song (and she's a (presumed to be) queer woman so it seemed to fit).

wc: 5.3k

taglist:

@rigorwhoring

@dilfprayers

@porcelainseashore

@dollita-fawn

@xoxoloveless

@admirxation

@pawrincss

Leah. You've never met anyone quite like her before.

Like you, she's new to the force, fresh out of the police academy. It's the first thing you bond over.

In the break room, she gives you a soft smile while she lingers by the kitchen counter, waiting for her instant coffee to finish brewing. The gurgling of the machine fills the brief silence between you.

"It's your first day too, right?" she says after you attempt a "hey" that comes out as nothing but a heavy exhale.

"Yep." It's all you can come up with.

"You seem nervous."

"A little. You know, don't wanna fuck anything up on my first day." Like this conversation. You keep the last part to yourself.

"Don't worry. It took me like three tries to get the buttons straight on this shirt. Jill- Officer Valentine had to help me fix it."

And somehow you're jealous. Leah seems to have no trouble making friends since she's already getting chummy with a STARS member. You'll be relegated to the losers club while she gets to sit at the cool girls table - if there is such a thing.

Most of your colleagues are men. Lieutenant Marvin Branaugh, your direct superior seems nice enough, Chief Brian Irons is a bit off-putting, though. And the STARS members: Officers Jill Valentine, Chris Redfield, Brad Vickers, Richard Aiken, Rebecca Chambers - and of course, Captain Wesker, who reminds you of a cartoon villain in the way he carries himself. Most of them are relatively nice to you. Jill has a hardened exterior but a soft heart; Chris is a typical jock and a natural leader; Brad is a bit of a knucklehead; Richard is his slightly smarter counterpart; and Rebecca, who's even younger than you, is an absolute sweetheart. Not to mention, Forest Speyer, Joseph Frost, Enrico Marini, and Barry Burton. You consider putting pictures of them on flashcards with their names on the back so you can learn them all.

Then, there's Leah who has a certain je ne sais quoi that makes her name stick firmly in your mind.

She walks gracefully, steadily in combat boots identical to yours and her blonde hair sways in time with her steps. Her pants fit perfectly, especially around the ass. But you try not to stare - you feel gross doing so when you catch the guys ogling her when she turns her back to them.

You wonder if they stare at you too when you're training in the gym. Lieutenant Branaugh puts an emphasis on staying fit in case the day comes where you need to chase down criminals or dodge gunshots during a shootout. A significant amount of your day is spent doing paperwork.

But for an hour a day, you do push ups and curl ups and pull ups (in that order) to 98.6 FM or a CD if Chris remembers to bring one down with him.

"Chris," you hear Wesker snap at him, "This music is atrocious. Go get a CD, a good one."

And with an exaggerated huff and the sound of metal weights hitting the hard floor, he does as he's told.

"He's kinda hot," Leah says from next to you while she stretches her calves.

"Who? Chris?"

"Yeah," she says, decidedly.

"You can have him. I'm not into meatheads."

"I'd like to see the head of his meat."

"That's disgusting!"

"Are you going to sit there chatting all day?" Marvin asks. "Or are you going to get in the ring?"

You both shut up and stand up.

There's nothing to fight over, but you can be competitive when you want to be. Leah seems intent on impressing Chris who's half-assing his workout both to stick it to Wesker, who is satisfied by his choosing Made In Heaven, and to watch you and Leah duke it out.

Nobody can resist a little girl-on-girl action. Leah has many things over you - her charm, her beauty, her laugh, and her body when she pins you to the mat. It's one, two, three slaps of her palm against the mat to crown you the loser, but she gets distracted, and only you can see the mask slip because you're staring into her eyes when it happens. You want to drown in her ocean blue eyes. Her pupils widen and then her eyes themselves in response, like she's shocked by her own feelings. And then she shakes herself out of it.

You blink and she's standing again, holding out her hand to help you up. And then, like she was never even there, she's gone, rushing in and out of the locker room so quickly that you don't cross paths despite your lockers being two apart. You, on the other hand, take extra time to consider the possibility that you've hallucinated her existence entirely.

But, does it even matter? 

Leah starts showing up in your dreams. She's the intermission between being completely flunking your math exam and missing your flight to Paris (the recurring stress dreams). One night, you're eating lunch in a cafeteria and she sits across from you. The next, you're at a Halloween party and she wears a sexy cop costume, which is not that far off from her real uniform. It's the third time she shows up that you kiss. It doesn't go any further than that because you wake up to your 7:45 alarm.

What the fuck was that? 

You have a book called The Secret Meanings Behind Your Dreams which was a gag gift from a friend. You flip through the pages and find explanations for dreams about falling, teeth falling out, pregnancy, but none about kissing your coworker. You decide it's better not to dwell on it.

You file the thoughts of her under the category of things that you don’t have the qualifications or the time to psychoanalyze. There’s probably some sort of bullshit Freudian explanation but you have crime to fight (aka paperwork to do).

You’re grateful for the distraction when it approaches you in the Main Hall of the RPD. It's almost the end of your shift when Richard approaches you. Out of all the RPD members, you feel like he's the closest thing to a friend you've got here.

"Do you have any plans this Friday?"

"Work, per usual."

"Well, yeah," he half-laughs, "I do too. But, uh, what about after work?"

"After work, nothing."

"Cool. Brad and I were thinking about seeing a movie and maybe getting drinks, and he also invited Leah, so I think she's coming too."

The mention of Leah makes you perk up. You could give or take the whole going out on the town after a long week of work.

Leah, speaking of Leah, you spot her across the hall, chatting and laughing with Brad and Chris.

"Cool," you say, staring right past Richard.

"So, uh, do you wanna come with?"

"Yeah, sure. Sounds good." It's less an acceptance to his invitation and more giving minimal responses.

Richard says some combination of "cool", "okay", and "see you tomorrow". Or something like that. You wouldn't know because you're barely paying attention to him.

You realize it's a double date when Richard puts his arm around you. You're enthralled with Saving Private Ryan. "It should win Best Picture," you remark later. But it doesn’t. But right now, you try to play off the fact that he startled you with an awkward laugh. The theater is too dark for you to tell if he's blushing or not, but his embarrassed "sorry" says he is. But before he moves away from you, you lean into him, and you swear you can hear him sigh in relief. He's nice. This is nice.

But more importantly, you watched Leah do the same with Brad and she's your leader just as Brad is Richard's.

No, for you, she's your muse. She's the goddess that you pray to. 

When they kiss, you follow suit. He tastes like the buttery popcorn you've both devoured, but it's not bad. It could be worse.

It’s forgettable, washed away by the beer you drink at the dive bar two doors down from the theater. 

"Do you wanna take this back to my place?" Richard asks.

"I would but I have to get up early for church" is the first excuse you can come up with.

Richard seems to believe you, which is most likely because he wants to believe this isn't rejection. "Oh! I didn't know you were religious."

"I am, yeah," you say, and hope the rubber chicken test prepared you for the difficult task of keeping a straight face in a moment like this. You think you notice Leah stifling a laugh across the table because she knows.

But her eyes only flit to yours for a second before Brad asks her the same question.

"I actually have a date to church tomorrow morning," she says, smiling at you.

Brad believes her because he's not the brightest bulb in the bunch. Before the awkwardness permeates too far, they leave together.

"So, church on a Saturday, huh?" Leah asks with a knowing smirk.

Finally, you both exhale the giggles you've been holding in together.

"God," you say, putting your head in your hands, though still laughing, "How long do you think it'll take for them to realize?"

"I dunno." She shrugs and sips her beer. "But hopefully sooner rather than later so I don't have to make up an excuse not to go on a second date."

"No second date for you guys? You seemed to be having a good time back in the movie theater."

She shakes her head. "I was until he started kissing me."

"Bad kisser?"

"Awful. Tongue down my throat and all."

"Ew."

"How about you and Richard?"

You shrug. "He's nice. And his tongue was not down my throat."

"That's good." She leans a little closer, like she's going to reveal a secret to you. "But you don't seem like you like him that much."

"I mean, I like him as a friend."

But nothing more. "Well, I should be going," you say, picking up your purse. "It's getting late, and, as you know, I have church."

"No, you don't." She rolls her eyes. "But you do have brunch."

"I do?"

"Yeah, I'll pick you up around 10:15-10:30? Depending on my hangover."

"Sounds perfect."

You and Leah each devour a plate of waffles in a diner voted Raccoon City's #1 Breakfast Destination '97 according to a poster outside.

"Mm," she ponders the taste of her coffee. "Way better than what the RPD has."

"I'm beginning to think they might just be giving us packets of dirt instead of coffee grounds."

"Where else are they going to put all the dirt they dig up outside?"

"It's so goddamn weird that they have a cemetery. It's like they're expecting us to die."

"I feel like I'm already dead. My head is killing me."

"Mine too. I don't even think I had that much to drink."

"Me neither, and thank god - I wouldn't want to end up in bed with Brad."

"You think you would've gone home with him if you were drunker?"

"Maybe. I tend to make stupid decisions when I'm drunk."

But, so do you - one of which includes playing spin the bottle with the RPD's finest.

"We used to play Kings mostly 'cause no one had a table that we could play beer pong on," Brad says when Chris asks him about high school parties back in his hometown.

"We can play Kings if I can find a deck of cards."

"No, we can't, dumbass, unless you have cans hiding in the back of your fridge," says Forest.

"What do you wanna play, Forest? Spin the bottle?" Chris asks sarcastically.

"I thought spin the bottle was a game made up for movies. I didn't know anyone actually played it," Rebecca chimes in from the corner, holding a soda rather than a beer because she 'felt bad drinking underage' even though Chris offered her one.

"You bet your ass people actually play it," Chris says. "How else would you kiss your crush when you're an awkward 15 year old?"

"Truth or dare," she says with a roll of her eyes to say it should be obvious.

"We could play truth or dare," Brad suggests.

"No, we should play spin the bottle," says Forest.

"If you wanna kiss me that bad you can just ask," Chris says.

"Why don't we play both? Then, if the bottle doesn't decide in Forest's favor, he can dare Chris to kiss him," Jill says.

"I'll remember to pick truth in that case."

You play spin the bottle first, which results in Forest giving Richard a peck on the lips, Richard passing it on to Brad, who goes for more than a peck with Jill, and Jill, pulling swiftly away from him, kisses Leah.

And it comes to Leah who lands on you. Of course she does. The first kiss is chaste, but when you take your turn and the bottle lands on her, it barely falls short of passionate.

The bottle is Leah's again and if it were possible to rig this game you might've believed someone had because it points in your direction.

A collective - and juvenile - "ooh" comes from the group. It's the same one you hear from a classroom of 7th graders when a teacher tells a student they need to "speak to them".

Rebecca, clueless, asks, "What?"

"They have to play 7 minutes in heaven."

"What's 7 minutes in heaven?"

"The two people have to go into a separate room for 7 minutes and they can do whatever they want."

Leah looks at you, you look at her. Hesitant, nervous, and curious.

"My bedroom's down the hall," Chris says, pointing towards it. "No snooping, no stealing, and if you break it, you replace it. Got it?"

"Yes, Officer Redfield," you say sarcastically.

Leah stands up, giving Chris an exaggerated eye roll, and you follow her down the hall. You can hear them whispering their predictions and fantasies about what you'll get up to behind closed doors.

But eventually, the games go on in your absence. You remain unaware as you sit on the edge of Chris' unmade bed next to Leah.

It’s just you and Leah Kennedy in Chris Redfield’s bedroom, the world is still and the lights are low, but you watch a decade fly before your eyes in a single moment. It’s fancy dinners and home-cooked meals, an apartment in the city and a house in the suburbs, the balcony, the backyard, the wedding, the honeymoon, the family portrait. 

"So…" you begin, expecting her to set some sort of ground rules, expecting you'll end up conversing for the duration, maybe giving each other a friendly peck on the cheek. But, she looks at you, her eyes flicker as they quickly run up and down your body, and she takes the leap.

Her lips are soft and sweet with cherry-flavored chapstick, and like Katy Perry, you liked kissing a girl. But, there are no boyfriends to mind, and despite being tipsy and technically still playing by the rules of a game, there is something real about the way she kisses you. It's heated and hungry, urgent due to time constraints. You can't stay in this room all night - not because it's Chris', but because no one can know about this. You can't tell them that when her tongue meets yours it's the first time you enjoy the taste of beer. You can't tell them about how she tucks her bangs behind her ear so they don’t obstruct her view of you when she pushes you onto your back and her hands travel from your waist to your bra and stop when Chris opens the door. Leah is quick to sit back up, to pretend, but not quick enough. He knows, but for whatever reason, he keeps his lips sealed.

When you return with your head down to hide your reddened cheeks, Brad says, "You two must've been having a lot of fun in there since you missed the timer on the microwave going off."

"We just talked," Leah says.

"Uh-huh," he says, "Talked."

"You guys were totally getting it on in there," Forest says.

"I would've paid to see that," Brad says.

"You can admit it," Richard says. "We won't judge."

"There's nothing to admit," you say.

Jill throws you a sympathetic save by announcing, "You missed Rebecca having her first kiss."

"It's not that big of a deal," Rebecca says, timidly.

"Are you saying I'm a bad kisser?" Chris asks.

"I didn't say that."

The group decides to transition to truth or dare, and you're relieved to have the attention taken off of you and Leah. The boys become distracted by the sight of Jill's tits when Brad dares her to flash everyone. You decide to leave before you end up naked.

While you wait for a cab outside, Leah turns to you. "Can you keep what happened between us a secret?"

"Yeah, of course."

"Thanks," she says. "You're a great friend."

A friend. You longed to be accepted for so long, but now the word sounds like rejection. The word taunts you while you struggle to fall asleep.

Just friends. The way you told Leah you felt about Richard after you made up an excuse to not go home with him. 

Leah avoids you at work the next week. No one seems to care except Chris, who asks you privately, "What is up with the two of you? You were going at it in my bed last weekend and now you won't get within 20 feet of each other."

"Nothing. We were just drunk on Saturday, so that whole thing happened, and we've just been busy with separate work this week."

"Uh-huh. You were just drunk? Nothing else going on between you two?"

"That's like asking if you and Rebecca have something going on. We just kissed because we were playing a kissing game."

He doesn't press further, though when he turns to walk away, you call after him, "Wait, Chris…"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell anyone, though. I don't want them making a big deal out of it."

"I won't."

He keeps his word.

Leah used to eat her lunches with you, you'd both meet in the break room at 12:30 sharp, but now, you sit by yourself. Until Friday, 12:20, you find her sitting across from Jill, talking and laughing.

"Alright, I've gotta get back to work," you hear Jill say before she leaves the room. There's only one exit, so she inevitably crosses paths with you. She's the first person to give you a warm, genuine smile that week. It makes you feel human and real, and it gives you the confidence to talk to Leah.

When she spots you, she hurries to pack her things up and leave.

"Leah," you say. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, of course not."

And you didn't. That's not why she avoids you.

"Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I'm not avoiding you." Her shifty eyes and wavering tone give her away - not that it wasn't already obvious.

"Yes, you are."

She looks around the empty room before lowering her voice, "Fine. If I admit it, will you let it go?"

"How can I 'let it go'? We went from making out on Saturday to-"

"I told you not to talk about it."

"You told me not to tell anyone else."

"Same thing. You're just making it worse."

"How?"

"You're reminding me of it, and I don't want to think about it."

"Why? I thought you liked it."

"I did. I like you."

"I like you too."

Her face softens for a second, going from forced agitation to poorly-hidden bashfulness, but ultimately, she looks disheartened. Because you both know this can't happen.

"I wish it were different."

"You wish I didn't like you back?"

"No, I wish this world was different. I wish Raccoon City was different."

"Me too, but why should we let it stop us?"

She sighs, purses her lips, and turns her head. Finally, after a moment of contemplation, she says, "Okay, but we have to keep it quiet. When we're at work, we're just friends." She pauses and her lips curve into a smile. "And tonight, after work, when I take you out to dinner, we can be something more than friends."

"Deal."

She glances towards the door to make sure you're alone and gives you a grin that's almost conspiratorial before kissing you on the cheek.

"That's against the rules!"

"Oops," she says with a shrug.

You sneak a kiss on her cheek to 'get even' and she walks out of the room with an extra pep in her step. You notice her trip on the laces of her combat boots, too far away to hear you stifle a laugh, but you see her shake her head, feeling embarrassed by her stupid mistake despite being alone in the hall. She's not used to being lost in thought like this, not used to liking someone in this way.

That night, you play a mixtape you and a friend made together back in high school when your only problems were silly crushes on boys. You remember her gushing over a guy you thought was mediocre at best while the sound of Kiss Me amplified her giddiness, and you remember how you comforted her when he broke her heart while Linger covered up the sounds of her crying. 

You wish you could call and gush over your date and have her calm your nerves over the phone, but you know you shouldn’t. You could say you were seeing a boy but a lie like that would violate the rules of girl talk. You decide to keep yourself company. 

You drive separately and meet at the restaurant. It's relatively crowded with the typical hustle and bustle of Friday evening downtown.

You split two dishes and Leah pays. Like you, the waiter seems allured by her.

"Before you leave," he says to Leah in a hushed voice as if you can't hear what he's saying from across the table. "I just wanted to let you know that you're very beautiful."

"Thanks," she mumbles with a half-smile. Polite, but nothing else lies behind it. No desire.

"And," he continues. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime."

"No thanks, I'm unavailable."

"Oh? Where's your boyfriend on this fine Friday night?"

"No boyfriend."

He doesn't quite get it. Not until she reaches for your hand, giving it a squeeze when she takes it in hers. She smiles at you, warm, and then at him, proud.

"Oh, so that's how it is," he says, and you can almost hear the roll of his eyes. "Well, I left my number on the check, so you can call me once you're done 'experimenting'."

Her face turns sour while her eyes remain on him, softening when she meets yours. You walk out hand-in-hand now that you're beyond the point of hiding. Most people pay no mind, thoroughly absorbed in themselves and their dinners.

You take the bottle of wine to go, since you each had only a glass at dinner as neither of you planned to drive home drunk on anything but each other. You're grateful that Leah invites you to share the rest at her apartment since you didn't bother tidying yours. It's better she comes over when the floor of your bedroom is visible, and not covered in a layer of dirty clothes.

Her house is neat and minimalist to a degree that makes you think it's always this way. Her wardrobe, which mainly consists of multi-purpose basics - white t-shirts, blue jeans, and an array of leather jackets - lives on a single-rod stand-alone clothing rack. With her level of organization, she doesn't need to hide all of her things behind a closet door.

You are the only thing she hides. 

But when you enter her bedroom together, she keeps the lights on. She wants to see all of you, to know you. She wants to put your picture in a locket and let you dangle around her neck, swinging like the pendulum of a clock in time with her heartbeat.

You unravel under her touch slowly and then all at once. She kisses you from your lips to your core with meticulous reverence and savors your taste. When you struggle to catch your breath, she holds you like you're bleeding out and your dying words are sacred to her.

Leah teaches you how to return the favor by letting you practice. It is a hands-on lesson. By the time you fall asleep, your lips are wine-dark and barely tired. She holds you close to her heart like a rosary while you sleep soundly.

You roll out of bed stealthily and search her kitchen for breakfast. There isn't much. She seems regimented in most areas of her life and health-conscious. There is a disappointing lack of Lucky Charms cereal in her cupboards. There is a carton of eggs, so you scramble a few for you both. You brew coffee too.

"Something smells good." You hear Leah's voice from the hallway before she appears in the kitchen. She wraps her arms around you, hugging you from behind.

"I took the liberty of making us both breakfast. I hope you don't mind."

"No, of course not. In fact, I could get used to this."

You take a sip of your coffee before you decide, "It's better than the kind they keep in the RPD break room."

"I think anything is."

You try to kiss her and she turns her head. You fear she'll claim the night before was a drunken mistake - it would be the same lie you told to Chris. Obvious in a way that makes it more infuriating than saddening. But she doesn't.

"Mm-mm," she says, shaking her head. "When I said anything is better than the RPD coffee, I didn't mean my morning breath."

"I don't care," you say with a smile and lean in again to kiss her.

She laughs when she playfully pushes you away. "At least let me brush my teeth before you kiss me."

"Fine," you concede and settle for kissing her on the cheek the way you do when no one is looking at work. Even in locker rooms you have to be vigilant. You doubt Jill or Rebecca would say anything unless you were doing something truly salacious. But it isn't unheard of for one of the guys to take a trip through the women's locker room under the guise of "hearing something suspicious" or "accidentally walking in there", sometimes without any excuse at all if it's Irons who has done this on multiple occasions.

Your secret relationship makes you feel like teenagers sneaking around behind their parents' backs. And like teenagers, you both can't wait to grow up and break free of the rules that hold you back from being together. But, you live under the tyranny of societal norms that you can't outgrow on your own.

Not when you have Brad and Richard who find you in the previously-unoccupied hallway.

"It's only a kiss. It's not a big deal."

"Not here."

"No one's going to see us."

But they do.

"I should've known you two were a couple," Brad says.

"Yeah, a couple of dykes," Richard says.

They laugh like bullies on a playground. You thought they would have learned by now. Aren't you supposed to get wiser with age? You're too stunned to say anything for a moment, but you make a conscious effort not to look at Leah. Not yet.

"What's going on over here?" Forest says, peeking around the corner.

"We just discovered there have been two queers hiding among us," Richard says as if he's speaking about foreign spies or ghosts.

"Yeah, they were totally getting it on out here," Brad says.

"Aw, I can't believe I missed the action. Could you give us a little replay?" Forest points at you two like he's the director of a porno.

"Go take your sorry ass to the video rental across the street if you want something to watch," Leah says with unwavering confidence.

Yours wavers. You never got the thick skin they promised you. You put all your strength into holding back tears. Something else burns behind Leah's eyes, though, you can see it. Her icy blue eyes somehow hold fire. 

"Wow, a feisty bitch," Forest says, "or should I say butch?"

All her training led to this moment, but you step out of the ring in fear.

"Sorry I get more pussy than you, Forest," Leah says. She wouldn't normally engage them like this. It's personal. It's you.

"Shit. Pretty good one," says Brad.

"Ugly bitches usually have some brains, so it makes sense," says Forest.

It feels like middle school until it becomes physical. Richard pushes Leah, so she hits him in the nose hard enough to make him bleed. Forest lays his hands on her and likely knowing that she can't take all of them at once, especially when you're standing by in shock rather than fighting beside her like you should be (a thought you only have later), she pulls her gun on him.

Chris, who has won every sharpshooting contest STARS has held since he joined, hears the commotion and runs in with his own gun trained on Leah.

"Put the gun down now," he says.

And terrified, she points it at him.

They both stare each other down for long enough for you to draw yours and fire it because you know if he shoots her, he won't miss. 

You would kill for Leah. 

The bullet hits no one but the picture of Brad on a poster that hangs on various walls of the RPD. Which would be kind of funny if that's what you meant to hit.

Leah turns to you in shock which allows Chris to easily disarm her, knocking her gun out of her hand and kicking it out of her reach. His gun is aimed at you now. He can shoot you and get away with it, and he knows it. His finger hovers over the trigger but something in him holds him back.

"Put the gun on the ground or I will shoot you," he warns you instead.

You put it down and hold your arms above your head. All five of you are placed in separate rooms. There are not enough interrogation rooms to hold you all, nor are there enough cops that are not involved in the situation. Each of you is placed in handcuffs, but you are first. You never thought your handcuffs would end up around your own wrists.

You should be arrested. For once, you are grateful for the way Chris pities you.

"I wasn't going to shoot," is the first thing he says when he walks in. The second is, "you're lucky your aim sucks".

"I really thought you were going to kill her, and I was just scared. I swear, I'm not like that, usually."

"I know. And that's why you're not going to jail." He pauses before adding, "But you're handing in your gun and badge."

Everyone else gets a slap on the wrist. You wonder if it's a literal slap when you see Brad walk out of the interrogation room looking like he's on the verge of tears, but you find out from Leah that the combined interrogation of Chris and Jill will scare you straight.

"Pun intended?" you ask.

"No," she says, but a hint of a smile peeks through.

She tells you that she hates goodbyes before she hugs you. You open your driver's side door and she stops you.

"Wait," she says, and you turn to face her one last time. "Before you go, I wanted to tell you that I… I lo-"

"I know," you say, cutting her off. "Don't say it."

You climb into your car, but before closing the door, you say, "but just so you know, I would've said it back."

The sunset doesn't look as beautiful when you drive off into it alone.

[anarmorofwords]

I kinda wanna write a better version of tlh where Tatiana is still insane but there's no Belial bc that makes zero sense to me

In this version there would be:

Kamanna done correctly with actual genderqueer rep and not toxic relationships

Barbra and Oliver bc fight me she didn't die

Genie and Filomena bc I love them and all the lightwoods are queer

The gracelet doesn't even happen bc I refuse to write that

Grace is pretty much still the same but she breaks off their(hers and james') relationship bc she notices that he loves Cordelia

No bad James. He's not a shitty person to Alastair, and he doesn't treat Cordelia like a sex object

Anna puts a stop to Kellington and Matthew's relationship before it gets serious. She also tries to get him to stop drinking all the time

Alastair apologizes around seeing them again for the first time. The merry thieves are a little reluctant because of some of the things he did but they don't actively try to keep him away from events that they're at

Matthew notices how Alastair looks at Thomas and locks them in the sanctuary with Genie and Cordelia's help

Grace gets badly injured due to a mistake in necromancy and Christopher helps her treat it without letting people know

Lucie meets Jesse, and falls in love ofc, so in order to bring him back successfully she asks Malcolm to train her in using her magic

Matthew opens up to his mom about the incident. She doesn't blame him at all and instead apologizes for often putting her work before him

Matthew finds out about Charles and Alastair because he found Alastairxs break up letter to Charles

Matthew, the mother hen he is, decided to attempt to murder his older brother, only being stopped by James who had been there at the right time

Kamala ends things with Charles and tells Anna that she still loves them and hopes that she will give her another chance

Anna told her that they needed time to think, and that she is worried how Kamala's reputation will be affected if anyone besides their friends and Anna's family finds out

Kamala respects her decision and doesn't contact her until Anna's ready to talk about things

The merry thieves don't ignore Christopher and they actively listen and help him

The merry thieves also aren't terrible to Grace bc they realize she's been isolated alone with Tatiana and 1) she might not understand what's saying/doing is wrong or 2) that sometimes she's trying to push them away so her abilities don't accidentally make them do something

Good tid parents

James and Alastair being respectful to each other despite personal differences

Matthew, Alastair, Kamala, Christopher, and Grace being besties, or as I call them, the neglected squad

No fetishizing mlm/wlw

Domestic cuddles and taking care of the other one when they're sick

Jesse/Lucie/Matthew pairing bc I love them and I refuse to pick between lucie/matthew and lucie/jesse

Christopher teaching Grace the elements(at the time) on the periodic table

Tatiana dies at the end yay

It's very unpolished and I'm open to b hearing any feedback and/or suggestions that anyone may have

The idea came to me and I decided it would be best if I told someone before I forgot

hi, I'm sorry it took so long,but I wanted to properly answer this and I keep having either internet connection issues or little time

DON'T BE SHY, WRITE THIS 👀

In all seriousness tho... THIS IS ABSOLUTE PERFECTION?!? I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH THIS IDEA, I NEED IT

Look, I've been on the verge of rewriting ChoI, and I keep saying I want someone to write a TLH that will live up to its potential, but I've never actually came up with a proper idea for it, and you?!! YOUR BRAIN DARLING THIS IS GENIUS

ok hold up I'll just react to each and every single one so

yes please?!? I mean it started off so sweet in EEV?! Also actually genderqueer Anna and not dancing around the subject like CC is doing now?! That's what they deserve, and that's what we all deserve too

yesss please. also just,,,, Barbara, the feminine, not-wanting-to-fight-which-doesnt-make-her-less-badass queen that she is, getting the page space and appreciation she deserves

that's actually brilliant?!? it would be so great, just imagine the new girl arrives for her travel year and Genie is completely awestruck. I'm so invested in Joshwood it's difficult to imagine not having them, but this is actually the only valid alternative?!

ok that's fine. I think it could still happen and be done well, but tbh for now... the gracelet doesn't seem to have done anything relevant to the plot itself? I mean yeah it messed up James's life and Jordelia, but what did it give Belial? Tatiana? nothing. It makes no sense atm.

could be! maybe she's still encouraged by Tatiana to befriend/seduce him, but without the gracelet it doesn't work out? or maybe James somehow manages to realize that she's in danger and he actually like,,,, kidnaps her? idk idk

yes. YES. just,,,,z James is a sweet compassionate literature nerd who accidentally makes a good leader and he actually cares about people, and not just judges them from his high horse; he does still have hero syndrome, but he's kind and respectful and overall a good character

ANNA INTERVENES ABOUT KELLINGTON PLZ. PEOPLE ACTUALLY NOTICE MATTHEW'S STRUGGLES. JAMES DOES, TOO, BECAUSE THERE'S NO GRACELET.

ok yes, so what about: basically TMT don't harass Alastair and accept his apology, and realize they were also being stupid and mean at times at the Academy (especially Math). Matthew doesn't want to accept Alastair's apology, because of The Sin, but his behaviour alerts the rest of TMT and they inquire what's wrong and he tells them about the sin and that's how he later tells his parents (because his friends encourage him) and as you say, she just hugs him and reassures him it's not his fault; so after that Matthew slowly begins to heal and accepts it wasn't Alastair's fault, and also since they've kind of adopted/started including Alastair in things, he can't help but notice he's actually changed and he even starts to grow fond of him

then like you said, Matthew notices Thomas likes Alastair PLEASE HE SO WOULD. I'm not sure about the Sanctuary, if it actually happens (I'll get to why later on), but him and Lucie get really invested in the matchmaking schemes, they include Genie/Kamala because these two are friends with Alastair (both? Or at this point only Kamala?) but they also share some Moments during their scheming/talking about love 👀 (yes I'm a Fairdale shipper, I think it's time to expose myself lol)

Which leads me to (sorry I'm going off order rn) YES YES YES LUCIE AND MATH PLEASE. A FELLOW SHIPPER, HELLO, NICE TO MEET YOU. But since we're actually fixing him then we can give Jesse a personality and I'm totally down for poly Math/Lucie/Jesse

Lucie seeking Malcolm's help in secret, morally gray heroine style?!? no, it's probably not legal. but also has there ever been a Shadowhunter like her? If the Law doesn't expect such situations, it can't really forbid them...

Plz Matthew ready to strangle the carrot when he learns about their relationship, YES. sure, maybe he's still not the biggest fan of Alastair, but he's seen how much the boy's been through and starts to develop an attachment to him, and besides, NO ONE DESERVES TO BE GROOMED AND TREATED LIKE THAT. He's SO MAD at Charles, and he confronts him about it - remembering Kellington as he does, and it makes him sick to think his brother would do the same thing to someone. Maybe he gets very emotional over this and later finally tells his friends about Kellington? Maybe they didn't know before, only Anna did? So when they all realize what was happening then they comfort him etc? Or maybe it's just Alastair that learns now, and the others knew before, and they share a bonding moment over that?

Injured Grace seeking Kit's help is a genius idea I didn't know I needed

Kamanna giving each other time and space and deciding they need to question their relationship and figure out if it actually makes sense would be great. Anna realising she's very privileged and Kamala doesn't have those same opportunities, and also in general realising coming out should never be pressured or forced. Just,,,, Anna being self-aware and respectful towards Kamala. Well-written Anna. Plz. Also Kamanna is actually developed and not just "in love" because,,,,, they're attracted to each other? Maybe even remaining friends while Anna makes up their mind?

yeah just TMT being more compassionate and less judgy because they're not written by Judith so her bias isn't projected onto them

It's not a want, it's a need. They adopt Alastair and Grace eventually. Like, maybe not literally - although, Grace? - but you know what I mean.

I think they all should just have various friendship dynamics and switch between them, because people need more than one friend group

no fetishizing, no watching your brother make out with his lover, yessss

yes domestic cuddles, affection, taking care of wounds, all those things. plz.

Gracetopher bonding over science yes

obviously. or maybe she's imprisoned?!

ok, now for some more notes/my ideas etc., if you don't mind:

I actually think Belial could still be featured? After all, I don't think Tatiana could do much on her own, and since she seeks help from demons, it makes sense to include a Greater Demon as well. But Belial would have to be a stronger villain, written better; I'll think more about this

if that was the case, the serial killer plot could still happen, but be done better. and it would allow for a scenario I talked about with @littlx-songbxrd to happen, where it's Alastair who's falsely accused of murder. It creates a great opportunity to explore some things, because we know Alastair is much more likely to be seriously suspected, considering all the prejudices and bad rep his family has and all that

...what do you say to well-written Jordelia? 👀 Cordelia hasn't been obsessively in love with James since childhood, she only had a crush then. And now that they meet again, she's fond of him but not in love, not straight away. They're both grown up, and different people, but as they spend more and more time together, they fall in love. What if Cordelia gets to flirt with some other boys first? What then. What if she ends up choosing James, instead of going for the only boy she's ever had feelings for and idealized since childhood. What if we even make it friends-to-lovers and have James be a little jealous at some point?! but not in a possessive awful way, just "oh damn oh no"

Now I won't know peace until this exists BUT THANK YOU

[acelezz]

My Experience With Internalized Homophobia

I know that I haven’t been making that many posts lately, but I would like to announce that as of like a month ago, I officially came out to everyone in my life. It was a long journey and I’m glad that’s over and that nothing has changed. My coming out story is nothing special so I’d rather talk about something that is more interesting: my battle with internalized homophobia.

I first heard the word “gay” when I was 8-years-old. It was said on George Lopez and when I asked what the word meant, my mom told me. At first, I was very repulsed. I’ll admit it: I used to be a bit homophobic growing up and I’m very ashamed of it. I’ve always believed in being kind to others so it was never to a gay person’s face. I would just make comments when it was just all straight people and this went on for awhile but it wasn’t something that I did every day; just when the topic was mentioned. For instance, in 7th grade, two of my girl classmates were outed as a couple and although I had been suspecting that bc the one girl was obviously gay, I made a disgusted face when my one friend told me about it and did the same thing when she told me that another friend of hers was bi and was with a girl once. 

At first, I thought “Ok, maybe I used to be like this because I was young and didn’t know that I was gay yet and was just being introduced to gay people after not knowing about them for so long.” Nope. Completely incorrect because lets compare this to my reaction with finding out about trans people. I remember it very clearly: it was when Caitlyn Jenner had just come out. My cousin was staying with us for the weekend and her and my mom started talking about how her coming out documentary was airing that night. I remember asking what it meant to be transgender as my mom was driving us. She explained what it meant. I’ll admit, my reaction was not the best as some of my questions were ignorant but I was still young as I was still only in middle school. But my tone wasn’t nasty; I genuinely wanted to learn more about what it meant to be trans. My mom explained it the best she could as a cis woman and then that night, my parents let us watch the documentary.

Now, I do not know much about Caitlyn Jenner but what I do know is that she probably is not the best trans person to idolize as she has had some controversial moments, but I really do have to admit one thing: my initial understanding and acceptance of trans people came from what her coming out documentary taught me. Initially, I thought that people may wanna be trans if they are gay and are facing too much homophobia and wanna change their sex to avoid discrimination but boy, was middle school me painfully wrong in so many ways 😂. Caitlyn Jenner taught me that transgender people whose gender identity doesn’t match up with their biological sex. Also, that people who crossdress aren’t transgender necessarily. When she transitioned, I wonder if this meant that she liked men now but she answered that for me as well. She taught me that trans people can be any sexuality just like cis people. 

Obviously, my trans knowledge has since expanded but I learned a lot that day and took it in with acceptance. Now, keep in mind that I am gay and cis. When I first learned about being gay, I was a bit disgusted even though my family told me that it was okay. When I first learned about trans people, I was accepting and understanding from day one. Clearly, I was battling internalized homophobia. Obviously, this didn’t come from my family as they were accepting. I believe it was because I knew that not everyone accepted it and that deep down inside, I was scared that no one would accept me. 

Let’s trace back to when I said that when I was young, I had no idea that I’m gay. The only reason that I didn’t know was that because I was so deep in denial that I convinced myself that I wasn’t. Shortly after I found out what gay meant, coincidently, I started to have urges to kiss girls. At first, I thought that it was because I had just learned what it meant to be gay but little did I realize that I was starting puberty.

Now, this inner battle went on for YEARS. I remember that when I was twelve, I first learned what it meant to be bi because I was watching a “Whatdaya Want From Me” lyric video and as you all know, Adam Lambert is gay and someone in the comments was saying how they loved him and his music and said how they are bisexual. I thought that I had a crush on a boy before in 4th grade and one on my friend’s cousin in 7th-8th grade but those were no crushes 😂 If anything, I just really wanted to be friends with them and had never had a real crush on anyone before so I mistook platonic crushes for romantic ones. So in the back of my mind, I kept on saying to myself, “you’re bisexual.”

6th-7th grade was the most unhappy time of my life tied with October 2019-today(big thanks to my family problems and miss rona) because I was constantly argued with myself in my head and it didn't help that I had family problems at this time as well. It got so bad that in 7th grade, I just genuinely hated myself so much that I hated going to sleep at night bc I hated being alone  with my own thoughts (similar to this year but this year it was just all external forces and nothing with myself at all). I was just very miserable and felt really caged from silencing my gay thoughts that I hated that I had. Then I eventually found the song “Let Me Be Myself” by 3 Doors Down and it saved me. It’s as if it was directed towards my own conscious, telling me to be myself and let all of my thoughts flow without arguing with them. Whenever I found myself hating myself, I’d just scream this song in my head and it was so relieving. It made me feel like I was standing up to my own self and it made me feel more free.

Now, there is a reason why I didn’t accept myself as gay or bi in 8th grade. I don’t get crushes much and I literally only saw my friend’s cousin once and found out that he had a gf so, I thought I was asexual for a whole year although I was happily devouring Girl Meets World fanfics that were all just RileyxMaya(I’ll never forgive Disney for not making Rilaya happen and for cancelling the show so early on). This is when I stopped being so homophobic and more accepting. I honestly thought it was bc of all of my LGBTQ+ classmates and bc of their kindness, I learned that I needed to be more of an ally. I mean, I did learn a lot just from watching those classmates, but that wasn’t it, fam. I truly thought that I enjoyed wlw fanfics because I thought that the stories were cute and that the couples were nice together. While that was true, someone who’s just an ally wouldn’t enjoy that many gay stories and read as many and devour them like I did. Not to go off topic, I did start doing that in 7th grade so that is probably another reason why I labeled myself as bi in the back of my head then, but in 8th grade, saw myself as ace bc it’s not like I had a crush on Riley or Maya. I just really shipped them and REALLY enjoyed any wlw fanfic on Wattpad. For some reason, the fact that I didn’t have any crushes that year made me think that I was ace which is totally untrue bc I’m about to hit my one year anniversary of not having a crush (but I’m going to a new school so that’s probably gonna change next month lol)

When I stopped arguing with myself in my head for good and allowed my thoughts to flow freely, I was truly happier although I was still questioning myself. I learned that questioning is so much easier when you consider those thoughts in the back of your head instead of fight them because I did question myself for much longer, but it was pleasant and a self-discovering journey.

I remember my first crush on a girl clearly. I was 15 and at first, I didn’t know that it was a crush bc it was actually my first crush and I didn’t know what it was supposed to feel like. I was obsessed with her and constantly thought about her and constantly wanted to be with her. I remember getting really nervous whenever I knew that I was going to see her. I remember that I used to talk about her all the time. Let’s call her K. I remember my mom saying, “L, do you like K?” And I got all nervous and denied it. The moment I realized when it was indeed a crush was when it got to be too much so my mom had a talk with me and I told her about how K made me feel and so my mom was like, “L, that’s a crush.” and I just sat there and said, “oh, crap!” and that’s how I semi-came out.

I still struggled for awhile after that. I knew I wasn’t straight and that I had a crush on a girl, but it was a hard pill to swallow that people could hate me for something that I can’t help. Although that “oh, crap!” was probably a dead giveaway,  it wasn’t an official, “oh, I guess that means that I’m not straight”. I kept it to myself for awhile and didn’t hate myself for it, but still couldn’t quite process it. 

I probably have an unusual self-acceptance story. I didn’t truly accept myself until months later when I got bored and decided to see if the new Nickelodeon was any good and of course, stumbled upon the Loud House. I eventually found the episode “L is For Love” and fell in love with the show. I had never seen good bisexual representation before and it really did help that it was a girl my age at the time too. I felt like I could really relate to Luna with how she was nervous to confess her feelings to Sam and how everyone treated her like she was no different made me really accept myself. It made me realize that friends and family matter the most and all of mine were accepting of LGBT (at the time and I’ll explain what I mean in a second) and that I had nothing to worry about because they’ll always love me. 

It did take me a couple of months to come out to my parents after that because although I knew they’d accept me as they said they would always love me even if I was gay. Coming out is just a scary process even if you know they’ll accept you because you feel like you’re exposed because it’s something that you kept to yourself for so long. My parents telling me that did make it way easier to come out to them so props to them for doing that right. I feel like it’s so important to tell your kids from a young age that you’ll accept them if they’re LGBTQ+ because even if you were never homophobic, coming out is scary and they may worry that you are homophobic but just never brought up the topic. 

It took me so much longer to come out to my friends because for one, I promised myself that I’d tell my family first and also, when I was 16 and had just finally accepted myself as bisexual(even though I’d later realize that I’m just gay, but it was a good start), I became best friends with these girls who were kind of homophobic. We’ll call them GH and GS. GS had found my rilaya fanfics on wattpad from 8th grade and we had just become friends, so I lied and said that it had nothing to do with me, I was just supportive. GS didn’t care but she stopped reading the book and thought that since I was comfortable enough to share my opinions on the subject, that she’d share hers. Not the most homophobic comments, but she made it clear that she didn't like it too much but that she didn’t hate gay people and that she recognized that others don’t share her opinions. GH was more harsh about her opinions which scared me the most. I feel like I should mention that I have two other Christian friends. I wasn’t as worried about them since we never really talked about LGBTQ topics but they do go to the same church as GH and GS, which made me a bit worried. Imagine finally being ready to come out of the closet all of the way just to be scared into staying in there for a few more years. 

This made me feel conflicted bc these girls didn’t constantly preach their beliefs and never bashed on LGBTQ people, but I was afraid that if I came out to them, they wouldn’t accept me. I should mention that they’re very religious Christians and I noticed that homophobic Christians come from a place of love bc they are so brainwashed that they think that shoving their beliefs down people’s throats helps them bc they believe that what they believe is the only right way to live and there's nothing wrong with being religious, but they are very mislead about LGBTQ+ people. I literally saw this when I was 14 and I stood up to my Baptist cyber friend who cyberbullied a lesbian and he admitted that he thought that he was helping her and that he didn’t think that it was bullying. Bullying is never ok and so I blocked him and only learned that from an apology letter that somehow made its way to me through another cyber friend.

I am going to say something that some of you may not agree with. I honestly don’t care if people don’t like that I’m gay as long as they don’t vocalize it. Like I don’t like spiders but I recognize that my dislike is irrational as they play a huge part in our ecosystem and are important to this world, just as every single person is. I wish that people who are against LGBTQ bc of their religion just would recognize that it’s irrational as everyone has different beliefs and would just keep that to themselves. If they just kept that to themselves, I would have came out so much sooner and I bet a lot of people can relate to that. I’ll never understand the dislike as I’m catholic and was taught that it’s okay but respect and kindness is better than outward hatred and is a step towards more acceptance in this world. 

Anyways, after awhile of being in the closet with my friends, I decided I would tell them once we graduated and not in the middle of the school year since if anyone was mean, I could literally just block them and never have to see them again instead of having to switch friend groups and still having to see their faces every day in class and in the hallways. Also, I did go through a period of questioning myself and did not want to tell them until I had a clear label. When I was 17, I got another massive crush on another girl and I realized that I never really did have crushes on boys as those “crushes” do not even begin to compare to the ones that I had on girls. I then finally realized that I'm just lesbian and with school being shut down, I came out sooner than I intended which is good. 

I wish that I would have came out to my friends sooner. Everyone was so accepting, including my christian friends and the two girls that I had massive crushes on. It was a relief that they all accepted me because I feared that they wouldn’t. I really discussed my fears with my religious friends but with my crushes, I knew that they were both accepting of LGBTQ+ as they both had gay friends and only said nice things about gay people, but I was afraid that they would figure it out that I used to like them with how clingy I was with the both of them, especially the second one(let’s call her LM), and would become uncomfortable around me.  I have no idea if either of them figured it out but K showed her support when I came out on insta and left a nice comment and LM liked the post and didn’t make any comments about it but since has shown an a bit of an interest of becoming closer friends with me again since we stopped talking as much since we didn’t have any classes together this year.

I never told either about my feelings but if they figured it out, they must have realized that I was only such a clingy friend bc I was crushing on them and didn’t know how to show it properly bc I was closeted so it came out as that. Also, they probably have both realized that I am over them now as I am not clingy with them at all, making them realized that I have changed and have realized that I learned that I shouldn’t be so clingy as it can be really annoying as I’ve been on the receiving end of that before. Also, I have to say I don’t think that either of them ever liked me. I was just so deep into my fantasies that I created false realities. I mean, I think they both like boys. I’m not saying that they can’t be bisexual, but I feel like they have accepting friends so at least I would have found out by now especially after coming about bc I’ve had 2 ppl come out to me as bi after I came out. What I’m saying is that I’m happy bc I would rather crush on accepting girls who don’t like me back than homophobic girls. Now that I don’t like them anymore, I realized that K and I are good as just acquaintances and that I want to become better friends with LM bc when I talk to her now, I feel as if I’m talking to my best friend M and I’ve always seen M as a sister. 

About my christian friends, I was happy that we got to stay as friends. I was so scared that I would lose them bc they are wonderful people. I came out to them separately and they were all very accepting. It kind of made me realize something about them. Perhaps they too are struggling bc they are being brainwashed into thinking that it’s a sin to be gay but they don’t seem to believe it exactly. I feel like I always see the best of people when I’m alone with them bc ppl feel comfortable to be their true selves around me and I noticed that my christian friends talk differently when we are talking one-on-one. It’s almost as if they change themselves and what they talk about to look like “good christians” as if they seek their own church’s approval in front of one another and it’s sad.

Sorry that this turned out to be so long. I just have really changed over the past decade or so and I’m really proud of how I became a better person and what I learned about myself and the lessons that I learned along the way. I learned to be myself no matter what and I hope that everyone learns that at some point, especially my christian friends that I mentioned bc you should never put on an act to be accepted. You’ll be much happier when you realize that your true friends and family are the ones who love you for you because you’re amazing just the way you are.

[hey-hamlet]

BNHA AU Ideas: Don’t Praise the Almighty (Part 2)

Also on AO3!

TW: Child Abuse (all kinds implied, explicit verbal and physical abuse), implied CSA

TL;DR:

Things you must sacrifice to make a hero: Humanity, Empathy.

Things you must sacrifice to be a hero: Everything.

But with the end of a symbol come the end of the hurt. 

Starting with I-Island Expo

mellissa calls them over like canon, shouto basically demands he gets endeavours spot. aizawa and yamada go too, mostly because yamada was going there for his show and they heard whispers of all might, and were worried about a possible izuku attending so aizawa went as a plus one

the other kids are there for the same reason, but other than scissors paper rock for the tickets it was a tournament brawl because ochako demanded combat.

she won, of course

anyway, they meet up w david and melissa, and izuku and her go explore the expo when melissa tells izuku shes quirkless he just give her the strangest look, and she's a little confused

i-island was a very chill attitude towards quirks. if you have one, cool, but they aren't useful to the inventors so its nbd if you don’t. and she says ab how she's a researcher and all the and he just looks at her like shes speaking gibberish

"they,,, they let you?"

and melissa looks dumbfounded "obviously? i mean, my grades are good enough?"

and izuku just start to cry. melissa is panicking bc she's already adopted this little hero as her little cousin because he's basically uncle might's kid. she like, hides him away in a corner and tries to understand what's wrong

and all she can get out of this crying kid is

"i used to be quirkless" and "don't tell all might"

she gives him a big hug and he talks ab how he was treated in middle school, and about how he hasn't told anyone in ua. she asks why he said don't tell all might and he murmurs that allmight doesn't think is very befitting of a hero to cry

deep down that doesn't sound right to her. but she only nods, hands him a tissue and they giggle about it behind a fancy model car

back in the office david and all might are talking

all might tells david that he knows his quirk is fading but it's ok, because he's training a successor and izuku is going to be perfect. that sounds ok to david. he's warmed by the total faith all might seems to have in his student, and the close relationship they must have to call him by his first name

all might confesses he’s looking forward to retiring and nurturing his student and david calls off the whole heist (well. he tries to. not that they listen.)

so Yamada and Aizawa are walking around the showroom floor and they see a "i was just crying but im trying to hide it and going an ok job" izuku with some random fucking blonde girl and they s w o o p in bc these are some worried dads

basically Yamada keeps her busy while aizawa says "oh i have to talk to you ab something" izuku goes over to aizawa and hes freaking the fuck out quietly. aizawa just leans down to look him in the eye

"you ok, kid?"

and izuku is confused

"what do you mean?"

"you looked a little upset back there, do you know that girl? is she,,, doing anything? to you?"

and izuku feels all warm and fuzzy inside and smiles at his teacher bc aizawa cares!! ab him!!

"no sensei, shes all mights kind-of-niece, she was just showing me around the expo"

and aizawa winces a little at the all might comment but what can he do

"well, don't forget you can talk to me, ok? i know i gave you my number on an emergency basis but i also want you to know your definition of an emergency is terrible. just call whenever you want"

melissa, bc she understands social cues unlike izuku, and also bc shes fucking 18 looks at yamada and says "what's wrong?" and yamada feels all the force of an 18-year-old girls glare of "ive adopted this kid and ill kick you for him"

"just worried about the little listener is all, he looked a little down"

melissa just sighs and nods

"yeah."

yamada expects her to continue but she doesn't. they both just kinda fiddle around with some random buttons until aizawa brings izuku back, who looks significantly cheerier now. melissa declares lunch is on her and that the teachers are coming too

aizawa and yamada try to wiggle their way out of it, until izuku also tries to so they all double down on going to lunch and izuku gets dragged along

when they get there he's fretting ab what won't ruin his diet plan, and aizawa and yamada feel bad. melissa just tells him to get what he wants

"but i dont want to upset-. i should be sticking to my diet plan though."

aizawa loudly declares hes getting a chocolate sundae and pork cutlet sandwiches. melissa, equally loudly, decides on carbonara. yamada fumbles for a bit looking for something unhealthy because hes a mess, finally finds a chicken karrage bowl and points at it like hes very proud of himself

melissa loses her shit laughing, izuku just giggles softly and aizawa fuckn snorts at the crestfallen look on yamada

izuku quietly asks if getting katsudon would be ok and melissa just looks into his eyes

"izuku i would kill a man for you of course pork katudon is ok"

anyway, the other students turn up, and momo shouts them all food, ochako proudly declares herself the winner of a fighting tournament and aizawa just slumps in his chair

"if i didnt hear that, you dont get detention for using your quirks without supervision"

and ochako just smiles with a scary amount of teeth

"who said we used quirks, sensei?"

and ochako proudly shows off the bruise on her upper arm where jirou punched her and jirou is whining bc she has a foot shaped imprint in her stomach s t i l l from the last round

everyone is talking n shooting the shit. it strikes the kids (and the teachers) a little weird that izuku is in his hero costume (the only other person there in costume is yamada, who is representing his agency. aizawa is in free dress but also his scarf bc he wanted to ask how the fuck it was made) but they just kinda, don't mention it

anyway, the bit w the quirk display

they hound aizawa into doing it, and he makes time pretty similar to bakugo and everyone is cheering for him and he's trying very hard to maintain his "im a professional hero not a dad getting cheered on by his stupid kids"

yamada wants to do it, but aizawa won't let him bc people need their ears

all the hero kids give it a go, including ochako, jirou, momo, etc. izuku (who at this point is like at 10%ish full cowl) makes time tied w Todoroki and izuku is talking ab how amazing todoroki is, and tenya chimes in with "you are quite amazing as well!" and midoriya blushes so hard he looks like a strawberry. he is very very flustered and keeps trying to deny it

eventually, everyone piles on the compliments (even katsuki bc this is the most fun hes had in ages) until izuku gets so flustered he hides behind aizawa like "you won't do this to me right?"

aizawa fuckn ruffles his hair and says "you're a good kid"

izuku just cries but he's smiling so wide everyone knows he's happy

so its the night of the party

izuku is dressed to the nines and he's sad ab it bc he wanted to wear something cheery and bright but instead he was dressed in a charcoal black suit, vest and a dark red tie. black shoes too

the one bit of cheer he shoved in were some red laces bc all might didn't mind them bc he was so "good" ab the suit fitting and the poking and prodding so he wears the bright red laces and he's very happy ab them

all might is in his hero costume, and he's very proud of the fact he and izuku match like a pair with the same shade of red bc that's his successor! his boy! all might tells izuku he can wait outside for the rest of the kids to show up and izuku is so happy! so he thanks allmight a lot more than he needs to and waits outside the door (all might was early to the event bc he needed to schmooze)

aizawa and yamada come later to a surprisingly well dressed izuku waiting patiently off to the side

they ask him why he's out there and he happily chirps that he's waiting for the other students that attended, they smile at him and walk in . all might sends them a glare from across the floor that aizawa returns just as spitefully

anyway, iida texts that he's stuck out the front bc the door won't open so he scrambles over to let iida and, apparently ochako as well, in (for the purposes of this au, todoroki, iida, ochako, izuku and melissa are the only ones of the kids at the beginning, todoroki's melodramatic entrance is stolen by jirou and momo. no mineta or kami bc they just,,, arent there lmao)

so the doors slam shut and melissa is like "wtf wtf" and the announcement sounds. they pile up the stair to look down to the dining room, teachers and other heroes tied up

the kids know a bit of sign from various hero class training bits by aizawa and "fun facts" by mic

so they brokenly sign to allmight and aizawa (the only teachers that can see them) that they are going to fix this

all might nods

aizawa looks panicked. these are kids. his kids. they shouldn't have to fight people with fucking guns

izuku says "ill keep them safe" and aizawa wants to cry because he believes him, but who'll keep izuku safe

so iida starts on his whole "we cant use quirks" speech before melissa can even remind them ab i islands quirk laws, izuku just murmurs

"all might gave me permission to fight. it'll be ok."

melissa freezes bc,,, she knows adults shouldn't be letting these kids fight, even if that's exactly what she's going to help them do. she mentions the quirk law anyway

now todoroki is pissed at all might but the bitch was gonna fight anyway. ochako is 100% roaring for a showdown

now they are,, a little more cautious. bc they are a smaller group here but izuku is like double the power so its not realllllyy an issue. the middle fight happens, they gain the wlw and mlm solidarity pairs (Jirou + Momo, Kirishima + Bakugo)

then pretty quickly lose bakugo and momo for a hot minute as they stay to finish up the fight while sending the others on

oh izuku totally has the punchy punchy thing from melissa i just forgot to mention it

so, bc melissa's dad didnt actually,, want in on it this time he's fighting back. he's stalling, pleading, backchatting; everything he can do to give someone a chance to fix his fuck up before it kills someone

so melissa and izuku make it to the top of the tower

izuku has been at shot more times than he's really happy about, just he has nothing more than a few grazes. melissa has a nasty bruise on her face and a cut on her arm from where she redirected a blow that would have stabbed izuku

the villain is talking ab how this was David's idea, and he's trying to explain to the kids that he's sorry, this was a mistake. he tried to call it off but they wouldn't stop. at this point he is totally away these people are real criminals and has been since the heist began

he's trying to convince them to run because as proud as all might is of izuku, and as proud of melissa he is, they are to young. they don't deserve this

izuku takes out the goons but the villain has already escaped with david and the quirk enhancer

izuku promises melissa he'll keep her dad safe and shes left in the control room crying alone because who'll protect the kid that's been nothing but kind and gentle yet has the weight of the world on his shoulders

also just an fyi bc you needed to know- melissa is down her heels and she lost her hairpin when she stabbed someone with it, she threw her heels at a villain too bc she was running out of ideas. melissa literally tied her hair in a big knot so she could fucking see

izuku is down a jacket - threw it over someone's head then punched them and his waistcoat is unbuttoned bc he need to punch. his hair is going fucking hog wild, even in the tighter clip yagi likes it kept in

anyway, when the alarms go off, all might fucking rockets to the roof and aizawa is fuming bc those are his fucking kids too

he and yamada have to take the goddamn elevator to the roof. its certainly not a slow elevator but aizawa is so fucking tense. yamada isn't much better

all might won't let them fight. he hands david and melissa off to them and tells them he and izuku will handle wolfram and aizawa is so pissed bc izuku is on his last fucking legs here

aizawas quirk doesn't work w the enhancer so he admits there isn't much he can do, but yamada is perfect here. but all might won't move out of the way long enough for mic to let his quirk go. honestly, hed be tempted to do it anyway if not for izuku also being there

anyway, all might and izuku do their lil double detroit smash and its all very sweet

kind of

bc,,, aizawa can see how izuku is shaken up, and close to passing out. visibly in a lot of pain but he's swallowing it all down and acting as if everything is fine and aizawa sees izuku with small might again and wonders why, why do they know each other?

yamada and aizawa feel vaguely ill when izuku and all might return to their shared hotel room after all might grabs a few bandages and alcohol wipes from a first aid kit. bc,,, aizawa can see how izuku is shaken up, and close to passing out. visibly in a lot of pain but he's swallowing it all down and acting as if everything is fine

aizawa and yamada stay with the kids, trying to cheer them up and bandaging wounds that don't need urgent medical care. melissa is just blankly watching out the door izuku left through

"why didn't they stay?"

aizawa just aggressively tightens the bandage around his sliced up arm. todoroki looks pissed. iida just kind of looks down

"im not sure, melissa. im... im not sure"

the next morning, as aizawa and yamada stumble downstairs to eat shitty hotel breakfast food, yamada glances out the window and looks like he's about to cry bc izuku, still battered and bruised, is stepping out of the gym over the road. its only 7am

they basically pounce on the kid and drag him to breakfast, where they find out he has been training since 5 and hasn't eaten yet and he's fucking, sheepish about it

"i got up a little late, so i just to my light routine for the morning, ill have to make up the time a little later"

aizawa just shoves pastries at his kid. izuku tries to stammer out that they arent part of his diet but,,, they look really nice and he's really hungry and stressed,,, and he caves pretty quick

so aizawa yamada and izuku are sitting around a table, both of his teachers arent totally human until they've had a coffee so izuku is happily babbling about some new hero teach he saw as aizawa grunts in affirmation

allmight shows up and izuku blanches. aizawa and yamada are a little too tired to realise until yagi is already over by the table. izuku quietly puts down the pastry and just cringes into himself

"im,,, im really sorry. i - i just"

"i got it for him" aizawa says totally deadpan as he slams back a whole ass cup of coffee

deep down inside he did it to flex on mister "i have no stomach so im not allowed caffeine"

all might sighs and gently chides izuku for not sticking to his diet plan. izuku nods miserably and excuses himself back to the room to 'get changed out of his sweaty clothes'

yagi sits and eats breakfast with aizawa and yamada as they try to understand what,,, what exactly happened there. it hurts both of them because they aren't sure what all mights doing

mic has seen one instance of something nasty going on, but other than that its just been a collection of terrible vibes

Training Camp Time Baby.

after that total clusterfuck of an event training camps still on

all might wants to go but nezu no sells him bc "you literally attract villains, all might" and like bitch is smart, he knows something is up. he's not sure what yet, but he's working on it

all might gives aizawa a personalised training schedule for izuku that he takes one look at and throws it out the fucking window

basically all might goes as "all might's secretary" to monoma

"very worried about my boy, and i think aizawa is training him too hard, could you please give me a run down on what happens each day?"

monoma, starry-eyed: of course all might

and there is this little,,, list of things he doesn't want izuku doing and he phrases them in ways that make it seem like he's being perfectly reasonable. like allergies or bad habits izuku is trying to break or whatever. izuku has to tell all might what happens at the end of every day anyway

all might,,, wants hourly updates,,,, but he realises that's not going to happen w aizawa's deep hatred of students on cellphones lmao

he hears izuku mentioning to todoroki that "yagi" wants to know what's happening at the camp and that he's excited to talk to his mentor about all the training they do. and aizawa is caught between wanting to find some bullshit reason to take izukus phone, or just pretending he didn't hear that bc who knows how much trouble not answering yagi could get him in

he makes an announcement that cellphones are to be on mute for the duration of the camp anyway.

yagi wanted to go on the camp, aizawa wouldn't let him, monoma is yagis mole etc we have covered this

in this au the league never latched on to bakugo, it's izuku that shigiraki wants, but to backtrack

getting off the bus its funny in a sad way bc izuku was so prepared to get hit by one of the teachers "training" them at any time he dodges the landslide

they all just kinda sit there for a second, stunned. izuku sighs quietly and jumps after his classmates

anyway so, they get to the camp a lil faster bc izuku is More Powerful, izuku (bc hes faster than iida on uneven ground) runs shinsou to the campground, they mind control pixiebob to stop the earthbeasts then run back to show the rest of 1A the way out

they get there in 2 hours

aizawa is very proud of his boy for thinking of that! and he ruffles izukus hair and its cute

in this au izuku isn't confident enough to say hi to kouta, but he waves. kouta just glares at him and he hides behind iida

they do a little extra training because 1A finished the earth beast thing so fast, half of the training is all of 1A trying to stop Izuku from going overboard. they get a little,,, disturbed when they realise just how long izuku can train without visibly breaking a sweat

they go to chill in the baths and iida sees izuku walking out of the changing rooms and freezes

because he's c o v e r e d in hand-shaped bruises

he tries not to react bc he doesn't want izuku to be uncomfortable and change his mind ab hanging in the bath w all of them

kaminari goes to say something and kirishima just fucking pulls him under the water before he can say anything, mineta is socially aware enough to not open his fucking mouth

they chat n izuku can kinda,,, tell,,, something is wrong but most of the bruises are places he can't see/doesn't look, like his shoulders, hips, back, back of his legs

and the ones on his wrist he just kinda brushes off bc he's still convinced this is normal. the thing w mineta happens, izuku helps kouta, iida comes with him to give him to the wild wild pussycats

and pixiebob looks like she wants to say something bc who is hurting this kid? and iida just catches her eyes and he looks so worried. she keeps her mouth shut, but makes sure to mention it to aizawa. she feels terrible when aizawa just curses and pulls his hair in frustration

anyway, 1B shows up and its hilarious bc 1A is going hog fucking wild other than izuku, aizawa is forcing izuku to learn to cook

so bakugo is screaming and blowing shit up, todoroki is in a fucking barrel, iida is running like afo is chasing him and aizawa is patiently showing izuku how to scramble eegs

monoma is losing his fucking mind

but yeah aizawa and izuku are sitting in front of a little stove w their legs crossed, izuku is trying to cut tomatoes and aizawa is supervising. they are making breakfast for 1A. slowly. all of 1A is being very careful to not disturb them, so there is this little bubble of calm around the egg station

"why,,, why arent i training?"

and aizawa fucking pauses

"this is training, keep up problem child."

and izuku looks so fucking lost but the eggs smell good and he gets to cook the bacon next. each part of the fucking breakfast is cold by the time 1A gets to eat it bc izuku was cooking it 1 by 1, little portions at a time

everyone just tells him its fucking wonderful

he joins in training after breakfast, ragdoll is placed on "izuku watching duty" which izuku has 0 clue about. if he gets hurt/sore/too tired someone gets sent over to get him to do something else

when she looks at him the first time she wants to cry bc,,, he's not tired, he's more rested than he's been in ages. but the places that hurt, before hes even been training, are sending blaring alarm bells in her brain

anyway, its amusing bc everyone is 'going beyond' and they are just trying to get izuku back so they can know what is 'going beyond' and what is 'going so far beyond how are you still moving'

everyone is fucking wiped and izuku is like 'this is the easiest training ive had in months what' and aizawas want to yell bc while hes being soft on izuku, they arent taking his training lightly, and this is easy?

he gives the curry to kouta like the show, they all go to sleep

izuku has a nightmare and shouto - the only person not asleep - tries not to hear the things he's saying. he can't hear much, but he wishes he hadn't heard anything. anyway at least they all wake up well-rested

unfortunately in this au the villains actually have a half-decent plan, and fucking, communicators -which isn't great for the kids

so muscular sees izuku and is like "oi compress move your arse over here" while he tries to kill kouta. so we get the joy of izuku saving kouta, getting him to aizawa and just as he hands over the kid, compress takes izuku and kouta just starts to cry

"izuku is kidnapped" time is a ride

the only thing they give him is a set of quirk suppressors and dont give him a key to get out of the bar. they are about as nice to him as they are to each other, a little softer on him bc he's young and they pretty much know what's happening to him

like, he gets out of compresses marble and he's panicking and crying, dabi just crouches down next to him and rubs his back, asks him if he's gonna be ok

shigiraki is trying to convince izuku to join then and his face just kinda falls when he sees izuku looking resistant

"you,,, you don't know that what he’s doing to you is wrong, do you."

and izuku looks like a deer in the headlights

"what do you mean? no ones- nothings- nothings wrong."

dabi just sits on a chair bc he knows where this is going and he doesn't like it. shigiraki looks at izuku

"if its not wrong, then tell me about it"

and izuku clams right up

ok but afo wants to talk to izuku. in this au he has literally 0 beef with the kid

he has only so much beef with the ofa users in general and he's typically pretty soft on them for being part of his brothers legacy, as soft as he can make killing them if they won't stop getting in his way, but still

but he hates allmight so fucking much and he's never been totally sure why

anyway, he asks to talk w izuku and this kid is shaking like a leaf and afo tells him

"you are a child. i have no intention of hurting you, i just want to know what all might has done to you."

"hes not done anything bad, i swear!"

"then why don't you tell me about it?"

izuku sits there quietly and afo feels just generally disgusted with humanity tbh

"how did you two meet?" izuku slowly opens up about the day they first met, and afo feels a stab of empathy for izuku, because being quirkless now is pretty comparable to being quirked before, afo doesnt interject beyond nods and encouraging him to keep going

but eventually, izuku totally clams up, starts crying and can't say anything else. afo wishes he didnt look as scary as he did because he wants to give the kid a hug. he calls tomura to take him back to the bar and get him something to eat

it gets to the point that all of the villains are super fucking soft for izuku. he's very nice, treats them well, and has seen some horrific shit

so when all might shows up to "rescue" him, they close ranks. they don't even pressure him to become a villain, because each of them has felt society push them into boxes they didn't want, and they don't want to do that to izuku

anyway, they get to kamino bc the usual fuckery, and izuku is just stranded behind villains crying and looking ill

the rescue squad : bakugo, todoroki, ochako, kirishima, iida, and one stubborn shinso that befriended the hero departments resident nervous wreck

they look across the field and they feel ill because izuku looks sick. but they feel a little better when twice gives him a bit of a hug.

confilcted, but better

they see afo talking to him gently but quickly, gesturing both to the villains and to the section of wall the rescue squad is hidden behind. izuku tearfully points to the wall, afo nods, ruffles his hair, and goes to send him off when all might rockets in

basically afo has looked at izuku and thought "wow he's me but a good person" and thinks he's what his little brother would want a hero to be, so, while he's very much going to continue his villainous thing, he's going to go out of his way to avoid hurting izuku bc this kid is what his little brother wanted OFA to be

and allmight is exactly what he would have hated

so, all might takes a step forward to drag izuku, the villains push him behind them

dabi is basically saying something along the lines of

"so does being in the top ten require you to be a total dick, or is it just a running theme?"

"give him back"

"why all might, izuku is his own person."

"izuku, get over here, now."

izuku lets out a sob and vaults over the villains, hiding behind allmight and all might looks horrifically smug. izuku whispers something to all might, but all might shakes his head (he was asking if he could run away)

the fight begins

a few reasons he won't let him leave:

its punishment for being 'weak' enough to get kidnapped

its backup if afo gets the better of his because hes made sure izuku is more than a force to be reckoned with

he wants to know what dabi ment and hes very read to ask izuku ab it

izuku is honestly shaking like a leaf, quirk going bonkers and he can't turn it off. the rescue squad does its thing, and their hearts break when they see izuku look at them tearfully and shake his head

they all hide in the crowd and cry as they watch the fight go on, izuku shakily pulling people from the rubble in the background. when hes gotten all of the people free he can, izuku kind of runs out of reasons he isnt actively helping allmight. he grits his teeth and dives into the fight with the other villains

hes trying to keep them away from all might and they all look heartbroken ab having to fight him dabi is saying something along the lines of "we know he hurt you, but how? why?" and izuku is just crying

all might can hear this too

izuku actually misses a few kicks and punches bc his eyes are too filled with tears, but the villains are careful not to hurt him too much. they just want to get him down and out of the fight, but as uninjured as possible

but that's a little fucking difficult when compress and kurogiri are down for the count and everyone else has nasty death quirks

eventually, it gets to the point that trying not to hurt the other villains is only hindering afo, and all might is pulling exactly 0 punches with izuku present, so afo teleports the villains away, they feel bad ab leaving izuku behind but there is no way this little hero would go with them. they know that now

afo goes to deal the final blow to all might, izuku just moves

cant stop himself from planting himself between them and trying desperately to catch the punch. hes hurt, badly. but he's not as dead as all might would have been

there is a vicious edge to all might’s smile as izuku is blown across the battlefield, and lays there w/o moving

afo feels sick, all might just looks pleased

"ive done pretty well wouldn't you say?"

afo just stares at him

"ive created the perfect hero. selfless down to the last breath, filled with overwhelming power and determination."

"he's flawless. isn't he."

afo wants to gag

"so, in creating your 'perfect hero', you find it acceptable to sacrifice your own humanity?"

"absolutely"

(all mights been small might for this conversation i just forgot to mention it l m a o )

they exchange their final blows

izuku shakily gets up from where he lays crumpled on the ground and staggers over to all might, where he stands victorious over afo

iida, todoroki, shinsou, Bakugo, the people who have seen what yagi has done to izuku and how he has treated him are now slapped with the realisation that the number one hero and the person hurting their best friend are one and the same

shinsou punches a wall, bakugo looks like he's about to be sick. iida and todoroki look shell shocked. ochako is just lost and confused

all might wraps izuku is a hug, where izuku hides his sobbing face. all might whispers something in izukus ear, not that the cameras can pick it up

"come on now, heroes don't cry."

izuku takes a breath, wipes away his tears and steps back. All might rests a hand on his shoulder and looks into his eyes, and loud enough for the cameras to pick up and announces

"you're next."

izuku nods solemnly

in the back of a conference room, vlad watches as aizawa goes deathly pale in realisation. at ua, nezu watches on with a degree on concern. at the hospital, the clueless members of 1A cheer. those who know more feel nervous, those who know the most feel sick.

the internet goes fucking bonkers. all might transformed, defeated a crazy villain, and literally declared his successor live on television

izuku and all might end up in the same hospital room, and all might,,, allmight.. ye.

anyway, the kids from the rescue attempt call aizawa over and over and over. every teacher, student, pro

any hero of ua staff they have anyway of contacting, begging to find out where izuku is right now. aizawa would tell them if he wasn't going exactly the same thing himself

eventually recovery girl calls him and he hightails his way over. fyi inko isn't there bc shes passed out drunk at home uwu

he bursts into the hospital room with as much dignity as he could possibly have and it's not really very much. doctors are hovering around, stitching wounds, taking blood, and watching an ecg pretty closely (they felt the room for a minute and izukus started going crazy, so they thought something may have happened to his heart)

the amount izuku perks up when he sees aizawa is heartbreaking he rushes over and immediately starts looking him over, apologising and telling him he's brave and that he's sorry he couldn't be there to help and izuku tears up. all might is glaring a hole in his back but aizawa doesnt give a shit right now, his kid basically go taken by the boogeyman and his unstable son, then has a target painted on his back on live tv. aizawa gives 0 shits ab all might right now

izuku just looks stunned, and then he lets out a watery giggle

"you shaved, sensei."

and aizawa is caught between crying and laughing. gently asks izuku if he can give him a hug, and izuku looks so shocked he was asked aizawa heart breaks again. izuku nods shyly and gets a Good Dad Hug

aizawa stays until izuku falls asleep, then he rounds on all might

“I don’t know what you’ve done to him, but he looked more afraid to be stood next to you than a man who has killed countless. Whatever you did, you won’t be doing it again.”

All might goes to say something, anything, but aizawa grabs him by the front of his hero costume

Aizawa tells him in no uncertain terms that he’ll never be alone in a room with izuku again for as long as he lives.

And with that, he storms out, leaving all might to stew.

[butterscotch-brigade]

h...honeycarrot... (i hope this isn't being sent by everyone)

ahhhhh i love you babe!!!!!! thank you so much!!!!

who hogs the duvet - lily, totally. her definition of being Cozy is taking up as much space as possible and it annoys the hell outta gumi but they Love Each Other so its ok

who texts/rings to check how their day is going - both of em do!!!! they both get worried about each other a lot so they like to check in to see how the other is doin!!!

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts - gumi!!! she puts a lot of thought into the gifts she wants to give her Geef and lily usually ends up panicking and worrying that her gift isnt as nice (it usually is tho)

who gets up first in the morning - gumi again. she gets up early naturally bc her biological clock has been Wired to work on Anxiety Scheduling. lily can sometimes convince her to sleep in and snuggle tho!!!!

who suggests new things in bed - you wouldnt believe it but......gumi.....shes really shy about it tho so it usually takes her like 10 minutes to make a simple request bc shes not Used to having sex

who cries at movies - lily.......she may act like a Big Strong Butch but deep down shes got a Soft Heart and WILL cry at the slightest occurrence that goes wrong for a movie protagonist. she likes to watch a lot of cartoons as a result bc those are usually happier

who gives unprompted massages - lily does most of the time, but sometimes gumi does too!!! lily likes to give gumi massages bc she likes takin care of her Delicate Femme gf, while gumi likes givin lily massages bc she likes to a.) look at all her back tattoos and b.) feel her Rippling Muscles

who fusses over the other when they’re sick - omg GUMI, poor gal gets so nervous whenever lily has the smallest cold!!!! she p much NEVER leaves lilys side whenever shes sick and basically has to force her to take medicine bc she hates takin medicine

who gets jealous easiest - none of em really get jealous?? ig when they were in high school lily was jealous of gakupo bc before gumi realized she was gay she dated him bc of Compulsory Heterosexuality but thats about it

who has the most embarrassing taste in music - both of em do tbh....lily for the most part is a Hardcore Punk Rock Chick but occasionally shell secretly listen to like. avril lavignes hello kitty or the barbie girl song. meanwhile gumi really likes video game music and electronica but she also enjoys super sappy cliche love songs

who collects something unusual - gumi collects gundams which isnt that unusual but she also likes to collect little machine parts and ESPECIALLY watches bc she likes seein how they......tick........get it........im so Funny

who takes the longest to get ready - lily.....she is what i like to call a Lazybian bc shes lazy AND a lesbian and gumi usually has to rush her whenever they have an important outing

who is the most tidy and organised - GUMI OFC, but ironically she doesnt tidy up her own things a lot of the time.....she will clean literally anything but if you even SUGGEST that she should pick up all the spare shit she has on her side of the room she will Refuse

who gets most excited about the holidays - lily!!!! gumi gets really nervous around holidays bc theres always a lot of planning to do so lily tries her best to cheer her up!!!!

who is the big spoon/little spoon - OBVS lily is the big spoon and gumi is the lil spoon........butches were Made for giving warm hugs and gumi feels so safe in her arms all the time ahhhhhhh I LOVE THEM THEYRE SO CUTE

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports - gumi surprisingly!!!! she really REALLY likes to win so as a result she HATES to lose, which leads to a lot of teasing on lilys part lol

who starts the most arguments - lily but thats mostly bc shes kinda stubborn and set in her ways a lot of the time......yknow that part in undertale where papyrus asks sans to pick up his sock and he just. picks it up and puts it back??? thats how most of lily and gumis arguments go

who suggests that they buy a pet - it was actually a mutual decision!!! they both decided that they needed an Animal Friend to have around the house so they went out and adopted a golden retriever from a local shelter!!! her name is honey bc lily was the one who picked her out so she got to name it

what couple traditions they have - they like to play smash melee with each other on their days off, go out for lil walks if the weather is nice, and drink hot chocolate together on cold winter days!!!!

what tv shows they watch together - gumi really likes gundam and gurren lagen (is that how you spell it idk) so they watch that a lot but lily really likes Soft childrens shows like crayon shin chan so sometimes they watch that together too!!!!

what other couple they hang out with - yuuma and yohio!!!! theyre wlw and mlm solidarity!!!! aside from that tho they also like to hang with miku and rin, flower and maika, and yukari and ia

how they spend time together as a couple - it depends!!!! sometimes they like to stay inside and snuggle, sometimes they like to go out and go on cute carnival dates or go to the park!!! they find lots of ways to be Cute Geefs!!!!!

who made the first move - teeeechnically it was gumi bc she ended up confessing first but that was during an anxiety attack and she just ended up accidentally blurting it out but then lily kissed her sooooo maybe lily??? idk but it was Gay

who brings flowers home - both of em do!!!!! they like givin each other lil surprises (tho gumi has to restrain herself from getting lily lilies All The Time bc its just. too easy)

who is the best cook - gumi, but theyre both p good actually!!! gumi likes to bake desserts while lily prefers to cook meals, but they help each other out whenever they can!!!

[valeriemperez]

So in the extended promo for 5x02, you can see Nora showing at least Ralph and Cisco (but probably everyone else too) the headline from 2049. I thought that would be something she and Barry kept between themselves for now and it would become a source of drama later, but it looks like they'll address it pretty quickly. I just hope they tell Iris (preferably before everyone else).

I am happy to see they’re explaining it to everyone quickly, because I was slightly worried Barry would just decide to let himself die. Instead it’s being treated like Iris in S3, but less depressing. I’m all for that!

And for those worried, I’m positive that Iris will find out before the rest. Worst case scenario is that she’s in that room finding out at the same time, and then she gets a solo scene with Barry about it.

I’m worried Candice is leaving. She didnt promote the premiere which is unlike her. Has she stopped caring because she knows she’s leaving? ☹

She retweeted an interview about it the day of the premiere and posted from set, so I don’t think it’s really a matter of no longer caring or planning to leave. I don’t think she would tie Shethority to the Arrowverse so much - even promoting Nicole Maines’ story through the book club she started - if she was distancing herself from it.

What’s your thoughts on Nora’s intro? I absolutely love it so much. I hope it becomes a regular thing for S5.

I love it too! And since Todd said they’re breaking the season up into 3 parts, I think it might be the intro up through the 100th episode, and then switch to the next plot after the crossover. Watch Tuesday come and prove me wrong, though, lol.

When do you think Team Flash will go to future with Nora? Will they go ther accidentally or on purpose?

I don’t know if they will go at all, but I hope they do. I think accidentally is more fun than on purpose, but they might do a parallel to 3.19 and have Barry go check on what the future without him looks like. Could you imagine a scene between 2049 Iris and 2018 Barry when he’s been gone 24 years? UGH. 

I hope there’s more extended WestAllen moments in S5. Not just Barry/Iris/Nora and nothing else. Give more Grandpa Joe, Grandma Cecille, Auntie Jenna and Uncle Wally.

Agreed! I think we got some nice, uninterrupted moments in the premiere. I hope that continues.

I need Flash to turn that new gag around at some point, and have Iris reference something like fantasy or romance or whatever and Barry to get it wrong. i NEEDS it. 

Aww, that would be so cute! Barry trying to impress Iris by referencing Clueless or Love and Basketball but getting it totally wrong lmao.

In the part you missed I said that even if GG is sensitive to RL shipping that still doesn’t explain why he isn’t mad about other ships like Gr*nielle, he interacts with DP and her fans say that LA is using her. I don’t think this is about ships but if it were and he’s only triggered by GG/CP than he’s either messy or ugly. I’m done now. About Nora, I wouldn’t mind if she were LGBT but there’s not enough LGBT men in Arrowverse and I fear it’s bc these straight male showrunners fetishize lesbians

The part about fetishizing WLW is concerning, and it would be unfortunate considering Bertlanti technically runs the shows. I hope that any character who comes out on Flash is treated with respect.

I think anyone with eyes can tell Grant loves WestAllen. He doesn’t love rumors about him and Candice, hating or loving each other. He blocks commenters that say he hates her and ones that say he’s into her. Grant knows the majority of WestAllen fans aren’t like that and those people don’t take away from his appreciation for the ship. He’s been the captain since day 1 and that won’t change cause of trolls.

Yeah, I’m glad his appreciation of WA has remained constant even if he’s not always expressive about his costar.

I’m concerned CP has been RT things about leaving, networking a lot and barely filming. She’s also stopped acknowledging the show. Do you think something fishy is going on?

I honestly do not. I think we are just sensitive to Candice being quiet because of our 2A scare.