#also do i tag for No Culture?? that's literally a lyric from the song Baby Boy off the album lmao

[boysplanetrecaps]

Boys Planet, Episode 3 Recap, Part 1

This review will conclude the signal test and the level reassignment, and cover the team selection. Let's do it!

Let's skip past the previews and teasers and go to 3:10 for more signal song tests.

First up is 3 star Seo Won, who is in NINE.i and auditioned with Attention. He walks in to the judging rooms and LipJ seems unprofessionally glad to see him. He starts his performance and honestly is super charming. He gestures to his name tag when the lyrics say "name" and I mean, sure, literal hand gestures worked for Evan Hanson so why not. He concludes with such a cute ending fairy that LipJ screams out loud. Then he scurries out, muttering, “That was so fun!” I love to see that, because so many of these trainees seem to hate to perform, leaving me wondering why they want to be performers.  The judges decide to promote him to 4 stars, so good for you, Seo Won!  

Next up is my little cousin and noted yeller Kum Jun Hyeon (the subtitles use a different transliteration). He starts with a silent yell (to save his throat) and then does a good performance, with on key, if slightly over-forceful, singing. When he's done, he asks Solji if he's changed and she says yes. The judges say he’s improved and give him 4 stars. He’s happy about it.

Next is blue-haired Park Hanbin from The Real. He does well, even if his singing a bit pitchy for my taste. He returns to the trainees and then kind of obnoxiously tells them, “why waste my breath? Of course I got All Star.” He was just joking around, I'm sure, but I feel like people won’t like that…?  In the midst of his joy, we keep cutting to members of the Korean Kick It team -- sickly baby Han Yu Jin and mop headed Kim Gyu Vin. They look miserable. 

Next is Mun Jung Hyeon, the raspy rapper from The Real. He sounds pretty breathy in his vocals, but they’re on key, and he is charming. The judges upgrade him to 4 star, and I’m really glad. I feel like that whole team deserved to be 4 stars all along.  

Next is Le Ye Dam, who did that amazing audition to Gambler. He’s just good at everything. He keeps his 4 star status, and bounces off the floor like a cricket in his joy. 

Next is sweetheart Keita from Ciipher/Conduct Zero. I think he still needs a bit of vocal training for some of the lower notes, actually, but the higher notes he does well with. 

Kim Gyu Vin is next, and he doesn’t want to be judged by Master Baek, one of the psycho dance teachers. I am deliberately not learning their names because I genuinely dislike them, quite intensely. Seeing Gyu Vin walk into the room -- it’s like I’m seeing an abused kid confront his abuser. I know Korean culture is different and stuff but these trainees are so young and the dance teachers are so cruel, so needlessly cruel. I don’t see any value in behaving this way. I’m not that invested in whether or not this one teenager gets to debut or not, but I am invested in this one human being’s mental health. His voice cracked a few times when he was performing, and he just seemed deflated. The same kid who put 7 star stickers on his nametag when he came in was just ready to give up. I find this very sad. The judges demote him to 3 stars, which seems fair based on his performance, but this is one of those situations in which the observer changes the observed. 

Next is Ji Yun Seo, the leader of the Kick It team. He seems to stumble on the vocals a lot, and apparently his dancing is bad. I blame the choreography, because I think they all look dumb doing this stupid choreo. Anyway, they demote him too, to 3 stars. 

Next is Yoo Seung Eon, also from Kick It. He seems terrified and his voice is raw. He also gets sent to 3 stars. 

Finally, it’s sickly Han Yu Jin, talking again about how sick and feverish he was. His hyungs took care of him, but when he was talking about how sick he was in his confessional, someone should have intervened and sent him to get some medical care. Jesus FUCK. Of course his performance isn’t fabulous and he gets demoted too. So the whole Kick It team gets sent down to 3 stars. I don't know if it's deserved or not, but I do know it's messed up.

After that, the judges say that the signal test is over -- but it’s not totally over. They seem to have realized after the fact that having two different judging panels wasn’t the fairest method. So, as far as I can tell, the judging panel who didn’t watch the original test reviewed the video tape and then they discussed it more to be fair.

The trainees find out that some of them are going to be re-reassigned, and they're so on edge and miserable that the news hardly affects them anymore.

Zhang Hao, the auburn haired Yuehua leader, says in his halting but excellent Korean that he’ll accept it if his 4 stars gets taken away. He’s so humble -- it seems genuine, too. Mun Jung Hyeon, the raspy rapper from The Real who I find quite charming, represents the other end of the spectrum -- please don’t take my 4 star away! Oh Sung Min, aka Jerome in T01, isn’t above hoping he’ll get promoted to 4 stars. 

The judges announce that Park Min Seok (The Real), Jeon Ho Yeong (Love Scenario), Lim Joon Seo (one of the two boys who came in first), and Yoon Jong Woo (the guy who pretended to kiss Ji Woo) have all been demoted to 1 star. Most had been 2 stars; for Yoon Jong Woo, that’s extra rough, since he started the day as a 3 star. 

Kim Min Hyuk from Lullaby interviews, “they started naming us one by one, and then we all got demoted.” That’s confusing because he himself didn’t get demoted; in fact, he’s wearing a 2 star jersey but is listed as a 3-star, so he must have been promoted. Good for him! 

After that, they finally get to poor sexy Jellyfish Park Gunwook -- he got All Star! Good for him. Also, they decide to promote Seok Matthew to All star too! Good for him, too.

14:13 Signal Song Filming

We're at the filming for the Signal Song. It's one of those big pyramid stages, and naturally the All stars are at the top, and the 0 stars are on the ground. One person on the ground among the 0 stars is overalls Ollie from Yuehua, who has dropped from 3 stars to 0 stars. Oh no! Yuehua kids are not great at learning choreo, I guess. The 0 stars want to be on the stage so badly they just want to tap their feet on it, or touch it with their fingers. Aww. Ma Jing Xing, the handsomest one from Reveal, interviews that he really practiced so much. Bak Do Ha (blue house) interviews that they won’t be seen on the ground. And in their cluster of Chinese speakers on the ground, Wang Yan Hong (Hot) and Ollie agree that they’ll have to prove themselves from the bottom. 

Then the center with the Killing Part gets lifted all the way up on the top stage. Who could the center be? We know it’s either Nation’s sweetheart Sung Han Bin or auburn haired Zhang Hao. (Seems that each contingent voted for their own center.) Who could have won between K and G? Of course it was K, so Hanbin will be the center. 

At 17:45, it's time for filming! The boys all clean up well and look like "real idols." LipJ is filming this on her phone, as if it’s not… being filmed. I do kind of love how she cheers on the 0 stars, though.

I still don’t understand the whole thing with the Signal Song. Do people watch it? I don’t. I’m not sure I’ve ever sat all the way through any of the Signal Songs. But it seems important to the trainees. Maybe it’s popular in Korea.

Anyway, more stuff about how to vote -- feel free to skip ahead, to...

20:39 Hanging Out

The boys all seem to be wearing matching pajamas -- some are kind of a light leaf green (I think that’s the Korean trainees) and some are white with little red dots (I think that’s the global trainees). It’s never addressed or even acknowledged, but there they are, in matching pajamas we've never seen before. They look like nice pajamas, though. I wonder if they’re available for purchase at a store near me?

The boys are just hanging out having a fun time, totally and completely unaware of the cameras, just doing what they would always do. 

A few boys are playing a word game, and they keep cheerfully screwing over Lee Yedam (Gambler). 

Meanwhile, Keita is holding Korean lessons with some of the Japanese trainees. How cute is this shit? I love it. 

His students include Takuto, Haru (he’s the blonde one), and I think Kei from Conduct Zero. 

Others hang out singing, and Kim Hwan Hee from Up10tion comes in to sing with them. The captions imply that he’s drunk, but I doubt that he really is -- where would they get alcohol? 

Others enjoy eating. Wow! Kpop trainees. They’re just like the rest of us. 

Others are exercising, and the camera zooms in on their butts as they do squats, and I’m not sure whose butt that is and if it belongs to a minor or not so I’m just not screencapping it. You do you, MNET, but I’ll be over here. 

As the night wears on, Lee Ye Dam waxes philosophical. “You shouldn’t just be good at singing and dancing here,” he says. But we don’t get to hear what else he thinks you need to do. Other trainees are also thinking about how long they’ve been training. Lee Dong Yeol, better known (maybe) as Xiao in Up10tion, says, “I’ve been doing this for seven years. The moment I thought, what if I can’t get on stage, that’s when I thought I should figure out a way.” Aww.

Oh Sung Min, “Jerome” from T01, says, “I thought I was the only one with stories.” Oh, that’s so sad. We don’t really know what he had been talking about, but I know that the T01 trainees went through some really abusive stuff. I know that no one on this earth is owed a life in show business, but the Kpop industry can be really cruel. 

They get ready for sleep, some of them clutching large stuffies (strong approval on that), some wearing masks to bed, (maybe it helps prevent snoring?), and some with their jersey ready to go in the morning. That yellow one-star jersey says Choi Yujin on it; he was a member of NuNu NaNa and was originally assessed as 3 stars. Awww. 

25:30 Team Making and Song Selection

The next day, they’re brought into a room with two middle school chorus risers in it, and the trainees soon realize that their names, and a number, are written on the risers where they’re each meant to stand, on the riser for their group (K versus G). 

For example, Choi Yujin’s name is shown with the number 18.  Ma Jing Xing, the handsomest one from Reveal, is number 10. Na Kamden is 35. But the lowest numbers in the very front don’t have names on them, and some trainees can’t find their names. Whatever could it mean????

But, as Lee Dong Yeol, better known (maybe) as Xiao in Up10tion, notices, some trainees’ names are missing. And mysteriously, they’re the most popular trainees and/or the ones that have already debuted -- like Dong Yeol himself, Kim Ji Woo (Mr. Sexy BL), Oh Sung Min (“Jerome”),  Nation’s sweetheart Sung Han Bin, and Mirotic’s highly ranked Lee Seung Hwan. Whatever shall they do? 

The doors creak open and the boys freak the fuck out. SOMEONE IS WALKING IN? Through the DOOR????!?!?1?!

Oh, Seo Won has put magenta stripes in his hair. Looks cool. 

Anyway, it’s the most handsome man in the world, Hwang Min Hyun, a man so handsome he walks through a soft glowing mist at all times. 

The show wants you to remember him from Wanna One, but I think of him as a member of Nu’est.

The boys have chills from how handsome he is! He notes that he has been through a survival show like they have (Produce 101 Season 2), and Hui remembers appearing on that show as a master -- but now MinHyun is the master, and Hui feels emotional about that. 

That’s a blonde Hui, with HyunA and E’Dawn/Dawn. The three of them used to be in a special group called Triple H -- check out their song Retro Future. You can skip the rest of this paragraph if you already know about this, but E’Dawn was in Pentagon with Hui too, and HyunA was a soloist. Then people found out that E’Dawn and HyunA had been dating for a long time, and there was a dumb pointless scandal and E’Dawn and HyunA were kicked out of Cube agency and Pentagon suffered and E’Dawn and HyunA suffered and there’s no more TripleH, so I hope you’re all happy now, Cube. 

Having Hui as a trainee when he obviously has so much talent and skill as a producer and songwriter and really should be a master or vocal trainer or producer or something, it makes me livid. It’s still stupid and wrong. 

Anyway. 

We find out that a fancam of the Signal Song performance of each trainee was posted on Youtube, and that the numbers the trainees have just now been given represents their rank in terms of their fancam views. Park Han Bin, with the blue hair, is ranked 19, and interviews that he’s disappointed he wasn’t closer to the top, but he looks fairly happy. We also find out that the trainees who don’t know their numbers yet are in the top 9. And here is that top 9 in order:

Hui

Kim Ji Woo

Seong Hanbin

Lee Da Eul

Lee Seung Hwan

Han Yoo Jin

Cha Woong Gi

Oh Seong Min

Lee Dong Yeol

When Lee Da Eul is announced 4th, Kim Min Seoung (from Nu Nu Na Na) interviews, “He’s not necessarily the best one. So I think he made it to the top with his charm.”  It must be kind of galling to have trained for years and worked on your skills, and then get beaten by a kid with almost no skills who just… is cute. 

Hui is asked how he feels about placing first, and he says, “It made me realize that many people support me,” and bows humbly. 

Then we hear about the top 9 for G-group, and there are some surprises! 

Dang Hong Hai 

Anthonny

Keita

Hiroto

Cong

Jay

Zhang Hao

Ricky

Seok Matthew

Zhang Hao is a little disappointed to have been only 7th, and Na Kamden interviews that he is surprised too. Kamden doesn’t seem to be wearing that pearl necklace anymore, at least in his interview. Maybe it’s tucked under his shirt. 

When Dang Hong Hai is announced as number 1, he can barely believe it.  Everyone else is a bit surprised too, including Hui. 

I had to try to figure out why he won, so I watched the fancam. I guess I don’t really get it, but that’s ok. This comment on the Youtube video seems to summarize the appeal: “Although his dance might not be the best, but I watch his fancam literally everyday because his facial expressions and the vibe he give is just WOW amazing…..this song suits him so well and I’m looking forward to his performance in the show! Fighting!!!!” Also, people seem to like his face visuals. Hey, I never know who will be considered good looking in kpop; I remind you that I think the most handsome member of Exo is probably Chen, so I seem to be out of step with other people. So I can’t comment either way. It’s also worth noting that in some pre-show ranking thing I saw, Hong Hai was ranked 3rd, so I guess it’s not crazy that he would have done well at this point. He’s currently ranked 29, so I guess we’ll see what happens. It would be cool to see more Southeast Asians in Kpop!

Jang Yeo Jun, a GBTB performer who recently dropped from 3 to 2 stars and from 51th to 60th in ranking -- he’s the one who ended up completely breaking down on the phone to his mother last episode -- is excited for his first mission. Me too! I think Yeo Jun is a good dancer, for what it’s worth. 

The first mission is a K vrs G group battle. 

No one seems all that happy about it. 

Anthonny is a study in aggravation. 

Even the K-group trainees aren’t thrilled. 

I think they want it to not be about K vrs G any more, and I don’t blame them. They all probably have friends in the other group and they’re probably sick of being segregated.

Hey, look, it’s Toui! He finally got better from being sick, and I guess he moved up to 1 star. Good for him. He’s ranked 93rd, but you never know, I guess. 

Winnie interviews that he’s ready for the challenge, and oh gosh, I hope he changes that hair color soon. It does him no favors.

It’s pretty standard issue kind of challenge. Each of seven songs will be performed twice, once by a K-group team and once by a G-group team. The audience will vote for the one it liked better, and the winning team will get a benefit. 

During the reaction, we can see that Chen Liang, one of the God’s Menu performers, has dropped from 2 stars to 0 stars, and is currently wearing an eye patch. Poor guy.  Han Seo Bin, one of the Freak rappers, is wearing a scarf around his neck, maybe to keep his throat warm. We also see that he has dropped from 4 stars to 3. 

I was initially confused as to the benefit rules, so here is what Minhyun says:

“To the team that won by getting more votes from Star Creators, 100,000 points will be awarded. After combining each team’s scores, the group that got the higher score will be given 10,000 extra benefit points.” So “team” means “team performing a particular song” and “group” means K-group versus G-group. 

I might be proven wrong on this, but it really seems like a foregone conclusion that K-group will win. Here is my reasoning. (1) The K trainees are generally more skilled, as a group. (2) The G trainees will have a harder time learning the lyrics to the songs, even if they already kind of know the tunes. (3) K trainees all share a language and culture, while G trainees will have serious communication issues and cultural differences, leading to more difficult teamwork. 

I’d be irritated about that 10,000 point benefit being primed for the K-group to have, but I know that 10,000 points won’t really do much. It would be enough to change the outcome for someone who would have one or two spots below the cutoff point, but it won’t save anyone in the basement of the rankings. 

The boys know that, so the producers poke them with a cattle prod (I assume) to get them to say things like this:

The look on Ji Yoon Seo’s face here cracks me up.

Also, one team will get to perform on M countdown, which they all are very excited to do. 

The theme for the songs is “million selling groups.” As Minhyun reveals each song, the boys react as if that group has just walked in the room. Here are the songs: 

Seventeen -- Very Nice Exo - Love Me Right BTS - Danger   NCT Dream - Hot Sauce  Wanna One - Burn It Up  Stray Kids - Back Door  Black Pink - Kill This Love

Lee Da Eul (the shy ham) doesn’t remember Danger, so Lee Seung Hwan (Mirotic) sings a little. 

Minhyun says that Burn It Up -- a song he performed as a member of Wanna One -- is really difficult. I suspect that will be important. 

Cai Jin Xin (Reveal) says, in English, “That’s my favorite song!” when Back Door is announced. 

Krystian jumps up and down when Kill This Love is revealed, and Haruto starts doing the choreo. 

Minhyun says that currently, K group has 47 trainees to G-group’s 48, so to… make it fair…??... they’re setting Kill This Love aside as the song that will have a different number of trainees. K group will perform it with 5, and G-group with 6. I guess the idea is that at least you know what you’re getting into if you purposefully choose Kill This Love. 

If you do the math, you’ll see that all the other groups will have 7 members each. The trainees with the highest rankings in the fancam views will get to choose their teammates. 

Jung Min Gyu, the red house, is sort of resigned to the fact that no one will pick him; Han Yu Seop, a Jellyfish trainee with low ranking, says he’s in a tough spot.

 Keita explains what’s going on to Anthonny, using Korean to do so, which is odd since they both speak Japanese, but I guess that since they’re using Korean so much all day every day it’s just easier to stay in that language. 

37:00 The team making starts

Hui gets to pick first. 

Lim Jun Seo, who walked in first that day with Lee Da Eul and who has dropped from 2 stars to 1 star, interviews that he was sort of hoping that maybe Hui would pick him.  Aww. My little cousin and noted yeller Kum Jun Hyeon jokes in his confessional that he didn’t want to get picked right away, but the editors see eye contact. 

Lee Seung Hwan from Mirotic, who has worked his way up to 3 stars, also wants to get picked. I mean, to be fair, they all do. Every single one of them. 

Hui picks Nation’s sweetheart Sung Han Bin first, and who can blame him? That’s who I would have picked first too, I think, and besides, I think they kind of know each other from being at Cube.

Keita mutters to Anthonny, in Korean, “Even the whole Group G can’t compete with those two.” Aww. 

Then Hui picks exactly the person I would have picked second - Lee Ye Dam, who did that fantastic audition with Gambler. I was muttering it at my computer screen and then it happened! He’s so happy, and the other trainees nod as if to say, of course.  Then Lee Jeong Hyeon, who auditioned with The Real and who, despite his 3 star status, is fairly low ranked. Everyone is really surprised at that, including him! But every team needs a good rapper. Then Oh Seong Min (“Jerome”), who is not who I would have picked at all, but ok. 

After that, it’s Han Seo Bin, who auditioned with Freak -- another rapper.  His friend, Park Ji Hoo, who first met Hui when Hui stole the first place seat, and who also auditioned with Freak, tries to be happy for his friend but is heartbroken and jealous. That must feel just awful. 

Hui’s final pick is the mop haired Kim Gyu Vin, from Kick It, and that’s a decent choice. 

Taken together, this is a pretty strong team. I think Hui didn’t want to pick any noted vocalists since he wanted to make sure to have main vocal on lock. 

Dang Hong Hai now gets to choose his team, and he chooses Anthonny first, which Anthonny seems to have expected, but also is glad about. Then Jay, then Wumuti -- who is a strong vocalist. Then, just after Haruto semi-jokingly suggests they need a good dancer, and why not himself?, Hong Hai picks him! 

Haruto is pretty happy about it. 

Hong Hai also picked Thai idol Winnie,  Haru from Maniac, and one more, though I’m not sure who yet.  

Now it’s time for sexy BL Kim Ji Woo to pick a team, and he picks golden maknae/formerly sickly baby Han Yoo Jin first; then he picks one of my faves, the excellent vocalist from The Real, Kim Tae Rae, whose hair is not quite as floppy as it once was, and whose jersey has one more star on it! Well deserved, Tae Rae!  After that, he picks the underappreciated Ji Yoon Seo from Kick It, who seems profoundly grateful. 

Aww, look how happy Red House Jung Min Gyu is for him! 

When Yoon Seo runs up to his new team, you can see that my little cousin and noted screamer Kum Jun Hyeon is already there. More MNET shenanigans. And the last pick is Yoon Jong Woo, who is the guy who pretended to kiss Ji Woong that time, and who has dropped from 3 stars to 1. I think they’re genuinely good friends and that was a friend move, and/or maybe it’s just to continue the BL storyline….? I prefer to think the former. 

At 42:44, it’s time for good egg Keita to pick a team. (Incidentally, give Blind by Ciipher a chance -- I threw it on my playlist and I like it more and more as I listen to it.)  Keita’s first pick is of course Canada’s pride, Seok Matthew. Next is Wang Zi Hao, the krumper; then auburn haired center Zhang Hao -- good call. He calls Min at some point, though we don’t see it happen (Thai Min performed “Glitch Mode” with Anthonny and Haruto)  and then declares that his team is complete. Everyone freaks out -- it means that he’s choosing “Kill This Love” for his team. Nice, Keita! And no one wants to go up against them.

Blue haired Park Han Bin is bummed, because he wanted to do KTL but not if it means going up against this team of all 3 and 4 star trainees. 

Lee Hwan Hee, the vocalist from Up10tion, interviews, “I really wanted to avoid that team. Just that team!” Oh, subtle editing MNET. I wonder if he’s going to have to go up against them or not? 

Lee Da Eul is up next to pick a team, and he chooses: 

Jeon Woo Seok -2 stars, had been 0; ranked 72; Criminal (barefoot)  Jung I Chan - 2 stars all the way; ranked 55th; Mirotic (also, he was on I-Land)  Kim Min Hyuk - 3 stars,  had been 2; ranked 82; Lullaby  Choi Ji Ho - 2 stars all the way; ranked 58; Mmmmh Lee Seung Hwan - 3 stars, had been 2; ranked 16;  Mirotic  Lim Jun Seo - 1 star, had been 2; ranked 21; Replay 

He explains that he wanted to pick those who had been kind to him when he was trying so hard to learn the choreography for the Signal Song, as a way of showing his gratitude to them. I get it, and it’s so sweet, but I’m not sure if creating a team of mostly 2 stars is setting any of them up for a win. Still, they don’t have any 0 stars, and maybe they’ll present a sort of uniform team with a matching vibe that might look nice all together. Also, maybe Da Eul knows that he can shed a little of his popularity onto them, by letting the world know that these are the people who were kind to him? 

Side note: I am so glad to see that Jeon Woo Seok has been raised to 2 stars. I think it was horrible of the judges to put him in 0 stars for his performance of Criminal. It was…. Ok, I’ll say it: it was a crime. 

From here, the show moves into lightening round. We see a brief glimpse of a team featuring Cong; another with Red House Jung Min Gyu, another with Ricky and Krystian; another with Park Hanbin and Bak Do Ha. Dong Keon is the chooser for whatever team he’s on. 

Sexy Jellyfish Park Gunwook is the only 4 star who hasn’t been called yet, and people are surprised. He’s a 4-star, and an all ‘rounder, and relatively popular. I theorize that perhaps he’s a bit, for lack of a better word, “bossy”? That’s a good thing and a bad thing, you know? I’m not criticizing him or anything. I suffer from the same affliction. 

So now there’s some MNET editing shenanigans. Lee Hwan Hee, the excellent vocalist from Up10tion who hasn’t really been showing his excellence and has fallen down to 1-star, gets called up as the next most popular trainee who hasn’t already been chosen. He picks his team, and only AFTER he picks the team do we find out what exactly has been going on. Essentially, what happened is this: While the Global trainees were picking their team, Park Gunwook sussed out that Lee Hwan Hee was the next one to be called to pick a team. Gunwook also knew that so far, no one had stopped at just 5 trainees, which meant that either this team, or the next, would have to do Kill This Love,  going up against a very strong G team. Gunwook made a plan: Hwanhee would pick certain trainees, including Gunwook and two of his teammates from Jellyfish and GBTB, and they would do Kill This Love. It was a way of controlling their fate, at least a little.

He and his fellow Jellyfish pressure Hwanhee into agreeing to the plan, even though Hwanhee didn’t initially want to do that song at all. 

“To be honest, I can’t dance,” Hwanhee says. 

“That’s ok,” Gunwook says. "You can hide behind me." 

So, per the plan, in addition to our sexy Jellyfish, Hwanhee picks: 

Hong Keon Hee: He’s 18, he auditioned with Nunu Nana, and while he’s ranked pretty low (he’s at 87th place) and overtly ignored by MNET editors, he has been a 3 star trainee the whole time. Most likely, Gunwook probably got to know his skills when they were three stars together.  

Han Yoo Seop and Jang Yeo Joon: Both Jellyfish trainees, they both used to be in 3 stars and have fallen to 2 stars.  Gunwook probably knows and trusts their skills, and besides, he didn’t want to leave his teammates behind. Aww. 

The trainees are all hyped up about this face off, and Ji Yoon Seo (who was so happy to be picked earlier) says, “With these members, it’s already over.” I’m genuinely not sure which team he thinks will win.

Minhyun asks Hwanhee how it came to pass that Hwanhee picked 3 Jellyfish trainees, and that’s when we see a flashback showing Gunwook’s machinations. Hey, I approve. Gunwook’s like a general in the midst of war. I think I have to stop calling him Sexy Jellyfish and start calling him General Gunwook. 

And then, those not chosen were the official leftovers teams. 

Jeon Ho Young, who auditioned with Love Scenario, says he was “a bit disappointed.” 

Dong Dong, from team Tiger Inside, says, “I felt abandoned, maybe? I’m embarrassed.”  

I always feel so bad for the leftovers. 

At 48:35, Minhyun announces that the teams have to pick their songs, and then there’s a pointless sequence I’m not going to bother to recap, in which they pick their songs. Highest ranks choose first, I guess to prevent injuries, so the leftover teams will also get the leftover song. After the teams pick their song, they go the room for that song. Whoever gets there first inevitably hides and jumps out to scare whoever gets there second, and everyone overplays their reactions to get camera time. Hilarious, never been done!

Here’s all that’s really of note: 

It is kind of funny that Hui’s team (of first chosen K-trainees) ends up facing off against Hong Hai’s team (of first chosen G-trainees), since both choose Love Me Right. 

We see that the charming Dance Captain of the No Stars, Oujo, has risen up to 2-stars! Yay! 

The K-group of leftovers gets stuck with Burn It Up, which is apparently the most difficult song. It’s known for the part where Kang Daniel shows his abs. So, this happens, when a staff member is interviewing poor Park Gwan Young from Lullaby:

And from 54:50 on, we’re heading into practice territory, so that's enough for this recap.

What I've done is I've created a main post for episodes 3-4 and all the various performances. If you click on that, it'll give a general description of the whole mission. enjoy!

[joyfulholland]

Sore Loser

a/n: this is part 3 of The Coconut Debate and Bad at Excuses.  I’ve been trying to write something else but kept getting stuck and these just kind of come out of the chaotic good part of my brain. if anyone has any requests/prompts please send them in!

word count: 1226

Y/N changed the group name to Tom owes us all £10

Sam: I only accept cash

Harry: Can I have mine in the form of an amazon voucher?

Tom: I don’t owe you anything

Y/N: don’t be a sore loser

Harrison: Yeah a bet’s a bet

Tom: it didn’t count

Tuwaine: Yes it did

Y/N: you told me the ending

Y/N: and you said you weren’t going to give anything away this time

Y/N: therefore you owe us all a tenner

Tom: I didn’t think you counted as you’re my GIRLFRIEND

Harrison: Still counts

Harry: Pay up

*

Tommy to Y/N/N: don’t watch it without me

Y/N/N: oh come on that’s not fair

Y/N/N: how did you even know

Tommy: because I’m psychic

Tommy: and you’re predictable

Y/N/N: but you’re so busy and I’m going to see spoilers if I wait

Y/N/N: you saw how everyone found out about destiel

Tommy: ok fine

Tommy: how about we watch it at the same time? on the phone or something

Y/N/N: deal

*

Sam to Tom owes us all £10: Where do you keep Ketchup

Sam: Quick I’m trying to prove a point

Y/N: the fridge

Harry: Fridge

Tom: fridge

Tuwaine: Fridge

Harrison: The cupboard

Sam: Thanks to everyone except Harrison

Y/N: Haz you heathen

Harrison: Is it in the fridge when you buy it in the shop?

Harrison: No

Harry: You can buy multi-pack cartons of OJ not in the fridge and then you put them in the fridge at home

Tuwaine: And it says on the bottle to keep refrigerated

Harrison: I’m a rebel I live by my own rules

Tom: bullshit

*

Y/N to Harry: the only logical answer is to sacrifice the washing machine

Harry: I beg your pardon?

Y/N: sorry lol that was for Tom

Y/N: actually if you’re with him can you tell him that for me

Harry: He said to remind you of the fire sneezes and the plastic

Y/N: shit he’s right

Harry: What the fuck are you two talking about?

Y/N: where you would hide a baby dragon if someone came to inspect your house

Harry: Oh right

Harry: The oven?

Y/N: I thought of that but Tom said you’d have to take the grill shelves out and that would cause suspicion

Harry: Fuck this is hard

*

Tuwaine to Tom owes us all £10: Tom I’m not speaking to your girlfriend

Tom: why??

Harrison: She beat him at the bowling snapchat game three times in a row

Y/N: and he’s a sore loser

Tuwaine: No I’m not

Tom: lol

Sam: Don’t worry about it mate she’s undefeated on all counts

Harrison: I’ve never won against her

Tom: I refuse to play it with her now she’s too competitive

Y/N: that’s not true tom you’re just a sore loser too

Harry: Y/N HOW COULD YOU

Harry: I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE YOU PLAYED SNAP BOWLING WITH

Y/N: Harry if it makes you feel better you’re the only worthy opponent

Harry: Lol yeah it does thanks

Harry: Also Tom would like me to say he’s not speaking to you now either

Y/N: lol point proven

*

Y/N/N to Tommy: would you still love me if I only ever wore the colour brown

Tommy: different shades or just the exact same brown all the time

Y/N/N: does it make a difference?

Tommy: maybe Tommy: lol nah would love you no matter what you wore

Y/N/N: even if I exclusively wore a banana costume even when we went to bed

Tommy: even then

Y/N/N: I miss you

Tommy: I miss you too

Tommy: I’ll ring in a bit x

Y/N/N: can’t wait x

*

Harrison to Tom owes us all £10: What was the name of that song that was on that advert

Tuwaine: Well that narrows it down

Sam: Yeah might need a bit more than that

Harrison: the one with the singing

Y/N: Haz mate come on

Tom: literally still could be any advert

Harry: Specifics needed

Harrison: The one with the opera singing

Harrison: But then there’s the guy on a deck chair

Sam: The Alexa advert?

Harrison: YES

Harrison: What’s the song called?

Tuwaine: aren’t there two songs in that one?

Harrison: Yeah I want the second one

Harrison: Not the one from the Magic Flute

Tom: You can remember the opera but not the other song?

Harrison: I live a cultured life

Tom: once again I am calling bullshit

Y/N: I Feel Love Donna Summer

Harrison: Thank you!!

Harry: I reckon you could have just googled that for a much quicker result

Harrison: Shut up Harry

*

Tommy to Y/N/N: do me a favour and tell Harry you don’t know what a badger is when he texts in a minute

Y/N/N: alright

*

Harry to Y/N: Your boyfriend is broken

Harry: He’s claiming he doesn’t know what badgers are

Y/N: what?

Harry: I reckon its exhaustion from over work

Harry: It’s affected his brain

Y/N: no I meant what is a badger?

Harry: Oh you have got to be kidding me

Harry: When did he text you??

Y/N: Harry I have no idea what you’re talking about

Y/N: are you sure you’re not the one who is exhausted?

Harry: This isn’t funny

*

Tuwaine to Tom owes us all £10: You guys know that Snoop Dog Just Eat advert?

Harry: Oh god not adverts again

Harrison: Let it go Harry

Tuwaine: Do you know how much he got paid??

Tuwaine: 5.3 MILLION

Sam: Damn

Tom: tbf it was a catchy song

Y/N: doggy dog christmas

Tom: exactly what a great lyric

Harrison: I liked the puppet one

Sam: Yeah did that money cover all the adverts because he did more than one

Tuwaine: No idea just says 5.3 mil

Harry: I want a takeaway now

Sam: You just sent me a snapchat of your lasagne

Harry: I know but now I want something from Just Eat

Harry: Snoop has tempted me with his lyrics

Tuwaine: Maybe that 5.3 was well spent if he’s tempting you and we’re just talking about it

Y/N: Harry as if you’re sending Sam snaps when you aren’t opening mine

Harry: it’s because I know yours is a game of wild checkers and I want to give it the proper commitment

Y/N: okay forgiven

Tom: I feel like I need to stage an intervention for you two about your snap game habits

Y/N: you’re just jealous that I don’t play with you anymore

Harrison: Why did you send Sam a photo of your lasagne?

Harry: I wanted him to give it a score out of ten

Sam: I gave it an 8.5

*

Tommy to Y/N/N: just arrived at airport x

Y/N/N: counting down the hours x

Tommy: like the tiktoks?

Y/N/N: yes but I’m not actually recording it

Tommy: so you’re just saying them out loud to yourself?

Y/N/N: no don’t be daft

Y/N/N: I’m telling them to Tessa

Tommy: oh of course my mistake

*

Harry changed the group name to Tom owes us all £20

Y/N: lol I knew it

Harrison: This is easy money

Tuwaine: Tom it’s like you’re not even trying

Sam: We’ll have the full 50 soon

Harry: I might wait to cash out until we do then have one big amazon voucher

Tom: I’m not paying any of you a single penny

Y/N: lol such a sore loser

xxxxx

tagging: @geminiparkers​ @rebekkah4766​ (please message me if you want to be added!)

[maneskinrollercoaster]

~ I Loved You For All This Time Apart ~

Pairing: Damiano David x Lea (fictional character)

Word count: 1759

Warnings: Slightly bit of swearing.

Summary: Lea makes a hard decision which has major consequences on her relationship.

The doors opened and she saw him. Damiano was standing in front of her while she walked past the gate from her plane. They haven’t seen each other for a long time. Three years passed since their breakup but they still didn’t stop loving each other.

Damiano was stubborn. When Lea told him that she wants to leave to England, he quickly protested, saying that she’s better living in Italy, in her home country, rather than being all alone in an unknown place without any family or friends.

He always wanted to impress everyone. When he was in the studio with Vic, Thomas and Ethan, everything had to be perfect. He didn’t leave the place without making sure that every sound and lyric were on point. Lea told him that he can’t overwork himself like that but he didn’t listen and stayed in the studio from dusk till dawn working his ass off till he fell asleep on the floor with papers in his tired hands.

Damiano never missed the opportunity to party. Whether it was celebrating their new albums or just a local festival, he never said no to going out with his friends. He drank a lot on the parties which made Lea angry. Once he got so drunk that Lea had to call a Taxi and literally crawl with him on her back to get him home. She was furious that night, which didn’t happen often and threatened him that they will break up if he won’t stop being so irresponsible.

She wasn’t a loud person though. She never got angry and never raised her voice. It was really hard to make her go out of control and she knew that sometimes she was too kind to everyone. Damiano always told her that she should stand up for herself more but she was too generous to see bad in people.

When she got irritated she usually closed herself in the bedroom and meditated to clear her mind. It helped her a lot and she never was the one to argue anyways. She always prefered to calm down and talk. Damiano loved how down to earth Lea was. Whenever they had a worse moment, she held his hands, stroking them gently and said: What’s bothering you, love? Let’s talk about it.

Those little moments felt like big steps until it all crashed.

One day Lea made the most important and the hardest decision. She bought a ticket to London and told Damiano that she’s leaving Italy. He tried to turn it into a joke at first but then he realized that she was serious.

What do you mean you’re leaving Italy? He asked her confused, giving her a look full of fear. He didn’t want to loose her. She was his soulmate and loosing her would mean loosing a part of him.

Baby, I want to travel, chase my dreams. There are so many opportunities waiting for me, I want to go and be happy. Her face lit up and passion in her voice made Damiano frown.

So you’re not happy with me, huh? He said and his eyes turned black. He was angry. How could she ever think of leaving him and moving to UK? Her place was next to him, in Italy.

Dami, it’s not about you. I just..

You just what? You want to leave me here alone and sacrifice everything we have! He screamed and Lea, not aware of his sudden outburst, shivered.

I’m not breaking up with you. But you have to understand, I can’t spend my whole life here, only looking at you succeed. As much as I love you and as much as I’m happy about your carrier, I want to do it for myself, I want to achieve something, be successful. I’m doing this to show myself that I’m worthy. She said and her eyes filled with tears.

Well then, I guess it’s over for us. I can’t do long distance. He said letting down his head.

So you don’t even want to try? You don’t want to put some effort and make our relationship work? Her cheeks were now wet from the tears. She looked at him full of sadness and disappointment.

You just chose.

Alright then, goodbye Damiano.

That’s when they’ve seen each other for the last time.

Since then Lea lived in London. The weather there wasn’t as amazing as in Italy but Lea found herself amazed with british culture. The people there were kind, saying thank you and I’m sorry with every occasion possible. They were helpful too. Whenever Lea entered a bookstore or coffee shop, people seemed to be willing to help with anything you’d ask them for. She felt like she could get friends with everyone there which didn’t make her feel so lonely. After a month of wandering around and gettin to know the country a little more, Lea joined a local designer house and started her career as a fashion designer and consultant. There she met Steph - her spirit guide as she used to say all the time. They started designing together and their work found its popularity around London soon after. Lea finally felt like it was her place and she for sure didn’t want to leave. Ever.

After three years she’s gotten an invitation for Alex’s wedding in Florence. Since he was like a brother to her she decided to visit her home country but soon after she got a call from him. Damiano called her at 2 am in the morning, waking her up and saying that they should meet once she arrives. At first she was shocked. They broke up on not such good terms but the truth was none of them stopped loving the other.

Damiano through all this time wrote songs about Lea. He knew that if he’d tried even a little then maybe their relationship would work. But he was a coward. He couldn’t stand a fact of long distance, being together but apart at the same time, so he decided to shut up and all his braveness vanished. His lyrics were deep and sad, all of them about being lonely, breakup and sadness. Vic, Thomas an Ethan tried to talk to him but he always shut them off, saying that he’s fine and that they shouldn’t worry. After a while he seemed to move on but when Alex called him with a wedding invitation, saying that Lea confirmed her attendance, his heart stopped. He decided to call her.

Damiano, its 2 am in the morning. What is so important you want to tell me at such a time? Lea answered her phone with a sleepy voice.

I heard you’re attending Alex’s wedding and i just.. wanted to call you to ask what are you getting them as a gift. Damiano lied which was obvious even to Lea.

For a gift? Are you out of your mind? You call me at 2 am just to ask me for a fucking gift? She said shocked at her own tone.

I uhm.. i think we should meet. You know, once you arrive. He said and brushed his hair with his palm.

We will meet at the wedding. She said harshly.

No Lea, i meant meet before the wedding. To talk.

What do you wanna talk about?

Us? He said, not being sure of her response.

Us? You want to talk about us Damiano? You said yourself you don’t want long distance and now after 3 years you want to talk about us? If it wasn’t Alex’s wedding, I’m sure you wouldn’t have called. Lea said and she was about to hang up but Damiano stopped her.

But I love you. Damiano’s words stuck in her mind making it repeat them over and over again. I’ve never stopped.

For good 5 minutes there was a silence that Lea didn’t want to break. Shock was an understatement. Of course, she hadn’t stopped loving him either but he said that out of the blue and she didn’t know exactly what to say.

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have.. Damiano started but was interrupted.

No, it’s okey. I just.. It’s not a conversation we should be having through the phone. She said quietly and soon after they ended their call.

And now he was standing in front of her. Dressed all in black, his hair longer than Lea has remembered and even more handsome than she saw him last time. She noticed that his jawline was more sharp and on his face she saw a slight beard.

Damiano also noticed some changes. Lea wasn’t wearing glasses like before, her hair were a lighter color than the brown hazelnut tone he loved so much but she looked really good.

Long time no see. Damiano said and a slight smile appeared on his face.

Yeah, long time indeed. She said squeezing tighter a handle of her suitcase.

They stood like this for what felt like forever when suddenly Lea felt Damiano’s arms wrapping around her tightly and pulling her closer for a warm hug. It truly felt like home. His scent of cologne mixed with cigarettes and his fingers gently stroking her back, his face buried in a crock of her neck and lips dangerously close to her skin. Lea felt his breath on her neck and sighed wrapping her arms around his torso, giving back the hug.

I missed you so much. Damiano whispered and Lea’s eyes started getting watery.

She missed him too but never wanted to admit it. Not after he decided to end this relationship because he didn’t have the courage to try and make it work from a distance.

Not long after she felt Damiano’s warm lips on hers. She didn’t expect it all and surprised but pleased with such sudden interaction she kissed him back, wrapping her arms around his neck. The kiss was sweet, full of love and missing each other but they both enjoyed it more than they both expected. After a while they pulled away, looking into each other’s eyes.

I know we have a lot to figure out and a lot to talk through but I’ve never stopped loving you. Please forgive me. Damiano said stroking Lea’s cheek with his thumb.

I loved you for all this time apart. Lea said and they both smiled at each other.

It didn’t matter for them that they were standing in each other’s embrace in the middle of the airport. What really mattered to them was that they found their way back to each other.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hello everyone! I’m back and I just want to explain myself that I was on vacation in London so that’s the reason of my absence. Expect some London inspired content.

ALSOOO I JUST WANTED TO THANK FOR 100 FOLLOWERS! YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU! ❤️

That one is not as good but i hope you enjoy it! ❤️🥰

Requests opened.

Tag list: [ @teenyweenynightghost , @superchrystaldrug , @unitermoonshine ]

[joeyjoeylee]

Music Ask Meme

Tagged by @bourbon-ontherocks, @roxy206, @whiskeyjack, @mego42 (Thank you, guys!)

You can usually tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to.

Put your favorite playlist on shuffle and list the first 10 songs then tag ten people! No skipping! (or maybe some skipping. I’m not your dad, do what feels right)

Putting this under a cut because, well, I do not know the meaning of the word restraint and also, I’m not strictly following the rules of this Ask here (and by “strictly,” I mean “at all”).  

First, I think this meme is exactly right and you CAN tell a lot about a person by the type of music they listen to.  The problem is that I don’t really listen to music and therefore I’m deeply afraid of what people will be able to “tell a lot” about me from this fact (e.g., I want to eat your liver with fava beans; I am Orin from Parks and Rec; etc. etc.)

So I don’t have any playlists and I don’t have 10 songs…or do I?  Awhile back @mego42 challenged me to just name 10 songs.  I think she meant this as like when you try to play chess with a 5-year-old and end up agreeing that they can jump the pieces like checkers just to get the game over with.  

But regardless, I CAN name 10 songs (although seriously, this took me a really long time to do, like, an embarrassingly long time.  But it’s Presidents Day and I hate my fan fic writing at the moment so am desperate to practice avoidance and avoid boredom at the same time so here goes.)  

1.     Like a Rock – This song plays non-stop during Chevy commercials during football games.  I only know the first 3 words “Like A Rock” but I can sing them over and over perfectly in tune.  

2.     WAP – The other day there was a post that said that if a TikTok is really good, it’ll breach the containment field of TikTok (I am still not 100% sure what TikTok is tbh) and cross over into other mediums. So too do popular songs do this for me, when they breach the Music World and enter Pop Culture World.  This summer, I started seeing the word “WAP” everywhere, although since I was reading it, I pronounced it to rhyme with “rap.” Somehow feminism and male v. female artists’ lyric appropriateness was involved with it?  And Kylie Jenner? But also somehow Joe Biden?  Intrigued, I googled and this is how I actually listened to (and enjoyed!) a 2020 song.  

3.     Mr. Clean jingle – This song is sung during Mr. Clean commercials.  It is a straight up banger and the lyrics are really really good as well.  

4.     No Rain (Blind Melon) – My college roommate was going through a Time what with homesickness and culture shock and she played one song on repeat for what felt like our entire freshman year. I can hear the first line in my brain and see the CD cover like it was yesterday (speaking metaphorically here because again, when I close my eyes I see only the back of my eyelids).  Once again I had to turn to Google for this (my google search = “All I can say is that my life is pretty plain” and bee costume girl song) and I am told this was No Rain by Blind Melon.  

5.     Take Me Out to the Ball Game/Baby Shark – I probably heard these two songs the most in all of 2019 since they play the first one during the 7th Inning stretch at every Nationals baseball game (and other baseball parks obvi) and then Baby Shark because it was the walk-up music for a wildly popular player that then morphed into a cultural phenom (everyone standing up, imitating shark mouths with our arms, etc.).  Man, I miss pre-pandemic baseball summer life 😩

6.      The Sound of Music (all songs) – I’m not totally uncultured, I want that to be known. I’ve seen The Sound of Music roughly 100 times (my bestie from college and I used to come home drunk from the bars and fire it up at 3 am and sing along loudly to the joy of our neighbors) and I know all these songs, even the boring ones like the Mother Superior looking pensively out the window one (Climb Ev’ry Mountain – not this film’s greatest work, I’m not gonna lie).  

7.     Auld Lang Syne – Pretty impossible for me to have my rom com New Years Eve kiss moment one day if I don’t know the words to this song and am not prepared to sing it with a sparkler during a dramatic countdown to the New Year/New Life.  (Also, it’s in the ending of It’s A Wonderful Life, another movie I’ve seen umpteen times so it’s baked into my DNA).

8.     Keep on the Sunny Side – Literally I was obsessed with this Michelob Ultra commercial (https://www.ispot.tv/ad/AXOA/michelob-ultra-weather ) to the point of downloading Shazam (SHAZAM PEOPLE!) to try to identify the song.  

9.     Despacito – Another song that jumped the Music-Pop Culture blood/brain barrier was when I started seeing people everywhere write “That’s so sad.  Alexa, play Despacito.”  I googled, then actually took the time and trouble to download it from iTunes.  I then drove around just blasting Despacito (lol, check out me using the past tense here like I don’t still do this). I gather that this song isn’t cool any more (if it ever was) by the pitying look my friend gave me when he got in my car awhile back and by the fact that he straight up said, “really? Despacito? Really?” but I don’t care because I love it.  Oh!  So I do in fact have a playlist and it has one song on it - Despacito (so I guess I could have just done Despacito 1-10 here).  

10.  Can’t Take My Eyes Off You (Frankie Valli) – Can’t even be flippant about this one, I love it so much I put it in my fan fic! My parents loved the Oldies Station on the radio so if we were driving anywhere growing up, pretty good chance you’d hear it.  So pretty, tugs at my heart with the yearning and affection.

There you go, Meg, 10+ songs!  And I hope this fulfilled the spirit if not the letter of the tag for you guys - THANK YOU FOR TAGGING ME!

[oneweekoneband]

I’m slightly nauseous already with knowing I’m going to say this, but what does “self-awareness”  even mean? In modern parlance, as a descriptive phrase, as a comment on art? I’m asking in earnest, like, I’ve been Googling lately, which for me is basically on par with doctoral study in terms of academic rigor. The self is king, anyway, tyrant, so where is the line of distinction between material that intentionally is nodding at some truth about the artist’s life and what’s just, like, all the rest of the regular navel-gazing bullshit. I mean, I’m all self, I am guilty here. I can’t get it out of my poems or even make it more quiet. This is the tenth time I’ve invoked “I” in the space of six sentences. Processing art has always necessitated a certain amount of grappling with the creator, but the busywork of it lately grows more and more tedious. Joy drains out of my body parsing marks left behind not just in stylistic tendencies and themes, but in literal, intentional tags like graffiti on a water tower. This feels an age old and moth-holed complaint, dull, and I am no historian, or really a serious thinker of any kind. I’ve now complained at some length about self-referential art, but didn’t I love how Martin Scorsese nodded to the famous Goodfellas Copacabana tracking shot with the opening frames of last year’s The Irishman? Didn’t I find that terribly fun and sort of sweet? So there’s distinctions. I’m only saying I don’t know with certainty what they even are. I’m unreliable, and someone smarter than me has likely already solved my quandary about why self-knowledge often transforms into overly precious self-reflexivity in such a way that the knowledge is diminished and obscured, leaving only cutesy Easter eggs behind. Postmodernism has birthed a moralizing culture where art exists to be termed either “self-aware Good” or “self-aware Bad”.  Self-referentiality in media is so commonplace, so much the standard, that what was once credited as metatextual inventiveness often feels lazy now. In 1996, Scream was revitalizing a genre. Today, two thirds of all horror movies spend half their running time making sure that you know that they know they’re a horror movie, which is fine, I guess, except sometimes you just wanna watch someone get butchered with an axe in peace. 

This is all to say that in 2020 Taylor Swift looked long and hard upon her image in the reflecting pool of her heart and has written yet another song about Gone Girl.

“mirrorball” is a very good piece of Gone Girl —feels insane to tell anyone reading a post on a blog what Gone Girl is but, you know, the extremely popular 2012 novel about a woman who pretends to have been murdered and frames her husband for it, and subsequently the 2014 film adaption where you kinda see Ben Affleck’s dick for a second—fanfiction. It would be a fine song, a good song, really, even if it weren’t that, if it were just something normal and not unhinged written by a chill person who behaves in a regular way, but we need to acknowledge the facts for what they are. When Taylor Swift watched Rosamund Pike toss her freshly self-bobbed hair out of her face and hiss, “You think you’d be happy with some nice Midwestern girl? No way, baby. I’m it!” her brain lit up like a Christmas tree, and she’s never been the same. If you Google “taylor swift gone girl” there waiting for you will be a medium sized lake’s worth of articles speculating about how Gone Girl influenced and is referenced in past Swift singles “Blank Space” and “Look What You Made Me Do”. This is not new behavior, and if anything it’s getting a bit troubling to think that it’s been this long since Taylor’s read another book. Still, while the prior offerings were a fair attempt at this particular feat of depravity, “mirrorball” has brought Taylor’s Amy Elliott Dunne deification to stunning new heights. And most importantly, Taylor has done a service to every person alive with more than six brain cells and a Internet connection by putting an end to the “Cool Girl” discourse once and for all. By the power invested in “mirrorball”, it is hereby decreed that the Cool Girl speech from Gone Girl is neither feminist or antifeminist, not ironic nor aspirational. No. It’s something much better than all that. It’s a threat. I ! Can ! Change ! Everything ! About ! Me ! To ! Fit ! In !

Gone Girl (2012) by Gillian Flynn

“mirrorball” (2020) by Taylor Swift

When the twinkly musical stylings of Jack Antonoff, a man I distinctly distrust, but for no one specific reason, whirl to life at the beginning of this song I feel instantly entranced, blurry-brained and pleasure-pickled like an infant beneath a light-up crib mobile or, I guess, myself in the old times, the outside times, three tequila sodas deep under the disco lights at The Short Stop. Under a mirrorball in my head. I know very little about music, as a craft, and I really don’t care to know more. I’m happy in a world of pure, dumb sensation. I’m not even sure what kind of instruments are making these jangly little sounds. I just like it. I am vibing. We may not ever be able to behave badly in a club again, but I can sway to my stupid Taylor Swift-and-the-brother-of-the-lady-who-makes-like-those-sweatshirts-with-little-sayings-or-like-vulvas-which-famous-white-women-wear-on-instagram-you-know-what-I-mean song, pressing up onto my tiptoes on the linoleum tile of our kitchen floor and can feel for a second or two something approaching bliss. “mirrorball” is a lush sound bath that I like a lot and then also it’s about being all things to all people, chameleoning at a second’s notice, doing Oscar worthy work on every Zoom call, performing the you who is good, performing the you who is funny, performing the you who draws a liter of your own blood and throws it around the kitchen then cleans it up badly all to get your husband sent to jail for sleeping with a college student... Too much talk about making and unmaking of the self is way too, like, 2012 Tumblr for me now, and I start hearing the word “praxis” ring threateningly in my head, but I’m not yet so evolved that I don’t feel a pull. Musings on the disorganized self—on how we are new all the time, and not just because of all the fresh skin coming up under the dead, personhood in the end so frighteningly flexible—are always going to compel me, I’m afraid, but that goes double for musings on the disorganized self which posit that Taylor Swift still thinks Amy Dunne made some points.

Because on “mirrorball” Taylor is for once not hamfistedly addressing some “hater”, in the quiet and the lack of embarrassing martyrdom it actually offers an interesting answer to the complaint that Taylor is insufficiently self-aware. This criticism emerges often in tandem with claiming to have discovered some crack in the chassis of Swift’s public self, revealing the sweetness to be insincere. My instinct is to dismiss this more or less out of hand as just a mutation of the school of thought that presumes all work by women must be autobiography. And, regardless, it is made altogether laughable by the fact that anyone actually paying attention has known since at least Speak Now, a delightful record populated by the most appalling, horrible characters imaginable, and all of them written by a twenty year old Taylor Swift, that this woman is a pure weirdo. To accuse Taylor Swift of lacking in self-awareness is a reductive misunderstanding, I think, of artifice. Being a fake bitch takes work. Which is to say, if we agree that her public self is a calculated performance—eliding the fact that all public selves are a performance to avoid getting too in the weeds yadda yadda— why, then, should it be presumed that performance is rooted in ignorance? Would it not make more sense that, in fact, someone able to contort themselves so ably into various shapes for public consumption would have a certain understanding of the basic materials they’re working with and concealing? Taylor Swift, in a decade and a half of fame, has presented herself from inside a number of distinct packages. The gangly teenager draped in long curls like climbing wisteria who wrote lyrics down her arms in glitter paint gave way to red lipstick, a Diet Coke campaign, and bad dancing at awards shows. There was the period where she was surrounded constantly by a gaggle of models, then suddenly wasn’t anymore, and that rough interlude with the bleached hair. The whole Polaroid thing. Last year she boldly revealed she’s a democrat. Now it’s the end of the world and she’s got frizzy bangs and flannels and muted little piano songs. Perhaps this endless shape-shifting contradicts or undermines, for some, the pose of tender authenticity which has remained static through each phase, but that doesn’t mean she hasn’t been doing it all on purpose the entire time. I’ve never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try...

In the Disney+ documentary—which, in order to watch, I had to grudgingly give the vile mouse seven dollars, because the login information that I’d begged off of my little sister didn’t work and I was too embarrassed to bring it up a second time—Taylor referred to “mirrorball” as the first time on the album where she explicitly addressed the pandemic, referring to the lyrics that start, “And they called off the circus, Burned the disco down,” and end with “I’m still on that tightrope, I’m still trying everything to get you laughing at me,” which actually did made me laugh, feeling sort of warmly foolish and a little fond, because it never would have occurred to me that she was trying to be literal there. I suppose we really do all contain multitudes. Hate that.

[sleepykalena]

Ten Songs to Get You Through the Plague (Hallyu Edition)

How dare you all, daring me to make a list even though I declined because I said it was just a whole lotta kpop. :P

@skitzofreak, @crazy-fruit, and @funkygourmetrva-blog apparently REALLY wanna be “enlightened” or something like that so here it goes~

(under the cut because long post is long)

ON (BTS) - This song slaps, and is one of like...three(???) songs that I like from BTS. This is a straight-up fight song- it’s hesitant, a little scared, but embraces a self-professed insanity as a motivation to keep going, and that’s pretty damn inspirational (and also very Jyn, I must say. That’s been on my mind). This song and Mikrokosmos are helping me write Parka. Favorite Line(s): Can’t hold me down cuz you know I’m a fighter / 제 발로 들어온 아름다운 감옥 [translation: Carried myself into this beautiful prison] / I’m alright, bring the pain on, yeah / I’ma fight, bring the pain on, yeah

Mikrokosmos (BTS) - I love a good song that compares feelings of love and companionship to stars in a night sky. This baby got me through writing about half the chapters in Parka, and is gonna help me write the remaining 3-4 chapters before I move on to Scarf. Favorite Line(s):  어쩜 이 밤의 표정이 이토록 또 아름다운 건 / 저 별들도 불빛도 아닌 우리 때문일 거야 / You got me / 난 너를 보며 꿈을 꿔 / I got you / 칠흑 같던 밤들 속 / 서로가 본 서로의 빛 / 같은 말을 하고 있었던 거야 우린 / 가장 깊은 밤에 더 빛나는 별빛 [rough translation: It’s possible that the night is beautiful not because of the lights or stars, but because of us / You got me / I see you as I dream / I got you / in the darkest of nights / The lights we saw in each other / were saying the same thing / A starlight that shines brighter than the deepest night]

Bad Buy (Cover) (Eric Nam) - I was really uncomfortable with the idea of a female minor talking about how she’s the type to “might seduce your dad”, but under the lens of a “guy next door” in his late 20s/early 30s, it seems...more like a strange quirk than some lolita thing. But also, Eric Nam has no business being this attractive and making this super smooth cover. Seriously. No business whatsoever. *fans self* Favorite Line(s): Duh. (SERIOUSLY. That’s the favorite bit. I’m not even joking.)

Double Knot (Stray Kidz) - I heard the English version of this first and thought, “hot damn, these kids go HARD”. And then someone pointed out that they were literally singing about tying their shoelaces and now I can’t stop laughing. I actually have had this in my rotation because it helps me get in the mindset of the show I’ll be working on next (which has a similarly hilarious juxtaposition), because I hear this song and literally imagine a bunch of 13 year olds trying to act hardcore with a song as G-rated as this (I’m still laughing just thinking about it) Favorite Line(s):  Dramatic cutscene every scene is the best of the best / 'Cause my life is a five star movie / I'm not done yet so / Tight-tight, go brace yourself / I tighten my double knot

HIP (Mamamoo) - This song is a huge critique on the kpop industry and their rather restrictive and fat-shamey culture, and I AM HERE FOR IT. Plus these gals are just GORGEOUS. This one got me exposed to Mamamoo and I have zero regrets. Songs like this always make me feel super empowered <3 Favorite Line(s): 논란이 돼 My fashion / 별로 신경 안 써 그저 Action / 자꾸 Click me click me 홀린 듯이 Zoom / Close up close up close up HIP 해 [localized translation: Your controversy is my fashion / I don’t care, it’s just an action / Go and click me, click me, like a stan, you zoom / close up, cuz you know I’m HIP, hey]

Regular (NCT 127) - Pretty sure this has been living in my playlist for most of 2019, and it hasn’t changed much since. Definitely makes me feel like a baller while I (used to) commute in shitty traffic, so listening to it now that I’m practicing social distancing is more about mentally taking myself to a place of normalcy than anything else.  Favorite Line(s): I like shining, you be lying / I be grinding, you waste time / Know you wanna roll with me / Cause you know I put it down / When I show up, I’m the one and only, nah nah nah / Yeah, pull up in the jag / Haters gon’ be mad

Kill This Love (Blackpink) - This is also an empowerment anthem that also helped me get through my (former) commute! When you spend all this time indoors, you’re bound to overthink your life, so it’s nice to have a song remind you that you need to assess those relationships and, if the relationship is hurting you more than helping you, “kill this love”. Deffo applicable to your relationship with yourself (e.g. if you’re wallowing in negative thoughts on a detrimental level), or even with others on a platonic level. Favorite Line(s): 나 어떡해 나약한 날 견딜 수 없어 / 애써 눈물을 감춘 채 / 사랑의 숨통을 끊어야겠어 [translation: What do I do? I can’t stand being this weak / While I force myself to hide my tears / I need to bring an end to this love]

POP/STARS (K/DA) - My previous editor showed me this song at the start of this year before he left for a new show and it slaps so hard that I’m mad at how much of an earworm this is LMAOOOOOOOO (side note: has anyone noticed that I’m picking these songs based on how upbeat they help me feel since I’m stuck indoors all the time?) Favorite Line(s): Ain’t nobody bringing us / Down down down down down down / They could try but we’re gonna wear the crown / You could go another round / Round round round round round round / Wish you luck but you’re not bringing us down

Dr. BeBe (Pentagon) - The song is just really catchy. The lyrics is really possessive in a helpless kind of way, and that’s sort of the flaw with most pop songs, it’s also strangely self-aware of what it’s going through. So meta LOL Favorite Line(s):  너란 벽에 갇혀 몸부림쳐 / 상처 나도 / 벗어날 수 없는 울림 [translation: I’m stuck inside your walls / struggle to escape / and get hurt]

AND THE ONE SONG THAT ISN’T KPOP:

Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD) - Came for the two folks in Godzilla suits, stayed for the lyrical mastery. I think even my partner was shocked that I liked this song, but honestly? It goes pretty hard, it’s a bit rude and taunting, which is just the kind of salt that I sprinkle in my head. Plus it’s fun to try and get even a FRACTION of the speed that Eminem raps. Favorite Line(s): You're bringin' the killer within me outta me / You don't want to be the enemy of the demon who entered me / Or be on the receivin' end of me, what stupidity it'd be / Every bit of me's the epitome of a spitter / When I'm in the vicinity, motherfucker, you better duck / Or you finna be dead the minute you run into me / A hundred percent of you is a fifth of a percent of me / I'm 'bout to fuckin' finish you, bitch, I'm unfadable / You wanna battle, I'm available, I'm blown up like an inflatable / I'm undebatable, I'm unavoidable, I'm unevadable

Is there anyone left to tag? Making this post was exhausting, so tag yourselves if you want in LMAO

[tastelikesleepdeprivation]

Domestic Human!Jack Headcanons featuring his three dads:

-Sam : no dessert after dinner, it will rot your teeth and we don’t have dental insurance because, legally, Dean and I are dead and Cas isn’t human so he can’t have insurance

-Cas: *sneaks Jack a cookie under the table during dinner, winks*

-Jack, with tears in his eyes, “thank,,”

Jack sneaking back into the bunker:

-Cas sitting in a chair and turns the lamp on: “where have you been?”

-Jack: “uhh with Dean”

-Dean, sitting in a chair next to Cas, turning on another lamp: “wanna try that again”

-Jack: “uhh with,, Sam?”

-Sam, in another chair next to Dean, turning on another lmap: “wanna try that AGAIN?”

-Jack likes it best when Dean cooks cause Cas can’t taste anything but “particles” so it’s always bland and Sam just can’t cook but Dean makes the best burgers Jack has ever tasted

-Jack sometimes has nightmares about Lucifer but if it’s a really bad one it’s about Dean, Cas, and Sam dying while Jack is standing by, unable to do anything cause he doesn’t have his powers and he wakes up panting and in a cold sweat with Cas right by his side because Cas doesn’t need sleep and will always be there to make sure to wake up Jack and comfort him during his night terrors

-Sam introduces Jack to books and tears up when Jack gets super excited about them because finally someone else who reads (not countering the literal one book Dean has read) and his favorite thing is sitting by Jacks bed side while reading The Wizard of Oz cause Sam told Jack all about their badass friend Charlie and her girlfriend Dorothy who saved all of them and Jack loves hearing about this apparently very real magical world

-Jack is actually really observant for his young age so when he sees Dean shuffling into the kitchen, scratching at his two week old beard with bags under his red rimmed eyes from fitful rest he announces a vacation day which Dean originally objects to but when Jack gets Cas and Sam on board he caves and so Dean hops in Baby with Sam to his right, Jack behind him and Cas behind Sam and they just drive. Dean puts on some classic Rock and Roll to “culture the kid right, Sammy” and they stop at some greasy diner and Dean laughs over his burger while Sam grumbles into his salad, Cas flashes his gummy smile and Jack hides his grin behind his drink and looks at his family and just living in the happiness he helped create and is a part of

-Dean got to be a father twice before technically but it never really felt like this. Never really felt like anything with Emma and while he got to be with Ben for a couple months it never felt permant, not like this, not like with Jack. So Dean cherishes every small moment he gets to teach and pass on something to Jack, whether it be through how to rile up Sam with a quick joke, or how to correctly wash and fold Cas’ trench coat, or do some work on Baby. Teach him something that doesn’t involve killing or hunting. Something normal, something a normal father would pass onto his son

-One of Jacks favorite occurrences between jobs is when Dean would cook all of them dinner and he would be wearing the apron Sam got for him as a joke (but secretly loves) and Dean would put on some music and would loudly sing along, shouting the lyrics while wildly waving the spatula in the air.

-Sometimes, Jack would pretend to be asleep when he would hear footsteps outside his door because he knew that Cas always comes and checks on him after he goes to bed. Cas carefully cracks open the door, and while Jack pretends to be asleep, Cas will put a gentle hand in his hair and place a chaste kiss on his forehead and Jack would wait until Cas pulls the door closed to smile into his covers

-Shopping with Sam was Jacks favorite. Sam usually did the shopping because Cas would forget the human stuff like tooth paste and toilet paper and Dean would buy pie instead of vegetables because he “forgot ‘em, sorry Sammy” so Sam always did the grocery shopping and would let Jack tag along, letting him get ONE candy (he always got nougat)

-Watching marathons with Dean is one of Jacks favorite passtimes because while Dean was a closeted chick flick watcher, Jack was an out and proud chick flick fanatic so both boys would sneak away for a night every so often when a new movie finally came out on Netflix

-One of Jacks favorite memories was when everyone went grocery shopping together when Jack was first turned human to find out what kind of foods he liked so he could have it available at the bunker, Dean grabbed the chips and junk food for him to try while Sam grabbed the fruits and vegetables, Cas gave his opinion now and then about what he rememberd from when he was human, especially his like of pb&js.

-Jack would go through bouts of insomnia to keep away the nightmares and this was the beginning of his midnight trips to the kitchen for snacks where he was joined sometimes by Sam but mostly Castiel which he preferred cause they would stay up late talking about the beginning of the universe and the thousands of years Cas has lived and what he has seen.

-When he turns One on May 18th, Dean, Sam, and Castiel decide to throw him a party, in their own way of course. Dean bakes the cake which is chocolate and has writing in icing on the top which says “baby’s first birthday” and they have streamers from toilet paper and first-aid gauze hung up all over the bunker. Sam gets him a new flannel so that he “can officially become part of the team” and a new book called The Great Gatsby which he can’t wait to start. Cas gets him a mixtape he made from all the songs he noticed Jack bobbing his head to when Dean would blast the radio. And Dean. Dean gets him a necklace. Not like the one Dean had, he told Jack all about the one Sam gave to him. But a necklace just for him that had the angels symbol for protection hand carved into the wood

-Sam is the first one to call Jack son to his face. Sam had just finished the last chapter of The Great Gatsby and Jack was crying because he thought that Gatsby didn’t deserve that kind of end to his life. Sam had closed the book, set it on the bedside table, wiped the tears from Jacks face, kissed him on the forehead and said “ it’s alright son, his story isn’t over, just moved to a new place”

-Cas first called him son on the night of one of Jacks worst night terrors. Jack heard screaming and woke up in a cold sweat to Cas at his side holding him close and whispering “I’m here, Jack, I’m here son, it was only a dream, I’m here” in his ear. Only until the screaming in his ears stopped did he realize it was coming from him and it wasn’t until he had fallen asleep on Cas’ shoulder from exhaustion and woken up the next morning to feel Cas still running his fingers through his hair did he notice that Cas called him son

-Sam and Cas had called Jack son early on and while Dean knew in his head and in his heart that Jack was his son he couldn’t say it to him. Experience and pain had taught him that once he said it, it would be real and so would the pain he will feel if, when, Jack gets hurt or killed. So he avoided it, calling him kid, kiddo, sport, and every other dumb nickname under the sun but still not that word until one hunt. It was supposed to be a normal job (famous last words, Winchester) until it went sideways and the werewolf got a claw into and up Jacks stomach. Only when Dean had shot the bastard in the chest until his gun was clicking empty did Dean fall to his knees next to Jack, holding his hands over the kids wound shouting at Sam to “hurry up and get the damn car!” Only when he looked at Jacks closed eyes and the shallow rise and fall of his chest and sees his pale face did he whisper for only Jacks ears “come on son, hold on. You gotta stay with me Jack, you gotta wake up son, you gotta wake up, you have to wake up”

-When Jacks hair starts curling around his ears does Sam decide to give him a haircut. Well, it was Sam at first until Dean grabbed the scissors and hip checked his brother out of the way saying “with your mane, I’m surprised you even noticed Jacks hair getting long. Move over, Sammy, I cut your hair for twelve years I’ll cut the kids hair”

-it’s Fourth of July and Dean insists on taking Jack to see the fireworks. One of Deans best memories is of him and Sammy shooting them off in some abandoned parking lot decades ago so he thought that he could give Jack a memory just as precious. Sam packs a picnic with some snacks and Castiel stuffs the impala with blankets. They drive out to the nearest town and set up shop in front of a closed grocery store across from the park where the towns show was set up to go off. Castiel hadn’t seen fireworks up close before so he was also excited. Jack was practically bouncing in his seat asking “ are they really made from fire?? How do they work??” And Sam and Dean would laugh and tell him they were really loud and colorful. When the fireworks officially started, Jack was terrified. It was so loud and he could feel the reverberations in his chest, they would come in no random order so he was suprised by the POPS. But after a while he was soon enraptured by the colors. Cas was just as enchanted by the way they would appear one moment and be gone the next. Jack and Cas loved the show so much they asked when the next one was and both were just as confused when Sam and Dean just laughed saying not until New Years

-Since they can’t exactly call a cleaning service to come and mop their underground bunker filled with weapons and proof of the supernatural, Sam established a chores list. Some chores depended on the day, like if Dean cooked he didn’t have to do the dishes but every person was given a chore, no matter what. Dean always grumbled but everyone knew he preferred a clean bunker. Cas would simply nod and go about his work, sometimes humming whilst doing so. Jack was just glad he had something to do that was of use to his family. And ironically, Sam was the one who forgot to do his chores most often

-whenever Jack manages to join the older three men on a hunt he always gets stuck in the back seat of the impala. Dean always drives, Sam always gets shotgun, Cas always sits behind Sam and Jack sits behind Dean. He doesn’t mind that much because on the truly long rides, the cross country rides, Cas lets him put his feet in his lap so he can lean against the door or sometimes he puts his head in Cas’ lap while Cas runs his fingers through his hair, falling asleep to the sound of the impalas engine rumbling, the quiet humming of the radio, and the muffled rapping of Deans thumbs on the steering wheel.

-Now that Jack is fully human, his body starts being fully human too which involves shaving. Sam pointed out his stubble first and offered to pick up razors and shaving cream next time he went to the store. Jacks first attempt at shaving began and ended quickly as he had no idea what to do, so he went to Cas. Cas,, tried. Being an angel and his vessel remaining the same he had no reason to shave (besides the one time after purgatory which still doesn’t make any sense) but he doesn’t know how to manually shave, just, angel shave. And that’s how Dean finds them later, in the bathroom both with their faces covered in shaving cream and staring at the razor like it would come alive and attack them. Dean chuckled but refrained from making a joke and helped to teach both boy and angel how to shave.

-Cas’ signature Pat of Reassurance is on Jacks shoulder. He’ll just hold his hand there on Jacks shoulder for a couple seconds longer than necessary, pat twice and then walk away. Sams signature Pat of Reassurance is on Jacks head or the back of his neck. Most of the time it’s a solid weight, a comforting weight but sometimes it will be a playful weight, a ‘you did something good and this is how I show it’ weight. Deans signature Pat of Reassurance is on Jacks back, right inbetween his shoulder blades. Most of the time it’s more of a slap than a pat but when it really counts, when Jack yearns for a physical sign of a reassurance, Dean always seems to know and just holds his hand steady

[soaringlanddormitory]

Fun Fact 101: Dai Adachi

You’ll get to know the origin of “The Bartender”!!

There are a lot of people who made Dai- “Dai” He was actually based on a lot of things, not only culture. Kaoru was mostly based on culture of Thailand itself from my researches, but Dai is a combination of three things which I’ll mention as you continue reading!

The first thing I will mention would of course be the culture of Indonesia- but unlike Kaoru, I didn’t follow what his culture is like, but almost quite the opposite. The reason for this is that he doesn’t know about the culture of Indonesia and he focused much more on the cooking style than anything else [It is also hinted by his title he goes out of the country he’s supposed to focus on a lot, and uses alcohol instead]

He didn’t have time to follow the culture, as he made his own personality as he grew up and never really followed customs, and he may be considered as a deviant for that matter. The most notable characteristics would be this

Indonesians are indirect communicators. This means they do not always say what they mean. It is up to the listener to read between the lines or pay attention to gestures and body language to get the real message.

Generally speaking Indonesians speak quietly and with a subdued tone. Loud people would come across as slightly aggressive.

As well all know how Dai is, he’s almost the complete opposite of this. He is direct with his words, and he doesn’t even think too much before he speaks. He’s more verbal than any of his family members, but he also may exaggerate some gestures. He does not speak quietly, and he’s actually one of the more vocal ones.

Consequently, people are very careful how they interact and speak.

As stated before, he isn’t careful about his words. He realizes he hurts someone after the person he is talking to displays another emotion. This shows that he isn’t entirely careful and he has to face the consequences because of doing so.

The reason why I didn’t make him completely match was because I wanted to point out in his character that there are some people who aren’t completely one with their culture, and it’s a fact that people actually do not look at a lot. However he does have one thing that is similar to his culture and that is

Indonesians abhor confrontation due to the potential loss of face. To be polite, they may tell you what they think you want to hear. If you offend them, they will mask their feelings and maintain a veil of civility. If an Indonesian begins to avoid you or acts coldly towards you, there is a serious problem.

This is most hinted during the post-Central arc where he couldn’t bring himself to bond with Masae again but this was quickly changed once Masae began talking to him and reassure him that it was fine. Dai is not confrontational once he makes a big mistake, and he would accept any consequence that comes. He also acted towards people during Central itself, and this heavily implies that he, as said, “would sacrifice people for Central” and that also means lose friends- which he feared but greatly masked.

Outside of culture, he was also greatly influenced by one of my closest friends, who is @nightcrownsking [Hi there you’re getting tagged]. Dai is a cheerful individual who is fine with bonding with people, even humorous if I may say. Also a matchmaker who loves making ships that he sees a possibility for. Mostly his personality and interests came from him. They both love photography, they’re both matchmakers, and they’re pretty fun! So yes, my friend has greatly influenced him- but the funny thing is that he and the culture actually came after the song which pushed me to develop him further. [Fun fact: His design was made before his personality]

The one that made me know Dai’s goals to change the world in a way might be surprising, but it was something he wanted to be ever since he was young after experiencing being poor for several years- “Billionaire”. I believe everybody knows this song but there are some specific lyrics that inspired me to make him-  someone who wants to make a change. For short, some lyrics made me want to make an oc who wanted to make equality.

And adopt a bunch of babies that ain't never had shit Give away a few Mercedes like here lady have this And last but not least grant somebody their last wish

I'll probably take whatever's left and just split it up So everybody that I love can have a couple bucks And not a single tummy around me would know what hungry was Eating good sleeping soundly I know we all have a similar dream Go in your pocket pull out your wallet And put it in the air and sing

The reason why he joined Central was because he wanted this equality because he already knew from the start that he’d probably not end up completing his dream to be a millionaire [He wanted to be a teacher because that’s what he thought fit him most and that he wanted to help others in his own manner, so why not share knowledge?]. These lyrics has always stroke me in the song, so I made this a part of him. He wanted equality, he wants the poor and the rich to be happy, and he wants peace to be the end result.

Also may I say, that he’s actually one of my most generous ocs? 

Once he actually becomes a teacher, he doesn’t only share his knowledge. He shares his time and effort so his students can improve. He gives his money to people he thinks needs it more [He thinks he has enough, his wife is literally a celebrity] and this is mostly shown in the future.

But here is the origin of our matchmaker, Dai Adachi! <3

[skammovistarplus]

Culture and Translation - S01E09

SKAM+ Clip 4 will get its own post because it’s a fairly long clip and also really dense in terms of content. For now, let’s all marvel as Eva’s life goes fantastically off the rails. 

CLIP 1: “Now I have really shit the bed,” Eva says. But that bed will be further soiled soon.

Yo soy Lara y le parto la cara, pero mucho más. Se ha quedado corta (“If I was Lara I’d smash her face harder. I mean, that wasn’t enough”): “Partir la cara” literally means to “break Eva’s face in half,” like you would with a cinder block if you were a martial artist. “Quedarse corta” means that, in the speaker’s opinion, Lara didn’t go far enough and further violence would’ve been socially appropriate in order to make things even between Lara and Eva.

La sueltita (“the trollop”): “Sueltita” literally means “loose,” but the suffix “-ita” makes it a diminutive. So the speaker is calling Eva “loosey,” if that were something you’d say in English.

Ahora sí que la he cagado bien (“now I have really shit the bed”): The literal translation would be something like, “Now I have really shat it out but good.” Don’t mind me, I just enjoy every instance of poop-related language.

El mierda seca que lo ha soltado todo (“the shitstain who ran their mouth”): “Mierdaseca” is literally dry turd, lol. So the literal translation is, “The dry turd who let it all out.”

CLIP 2: Shitting the bed, pt. II

It’s really hard to make out what the boys are saying in this scene. Lucas does say that they (presumably his parents) “están hasta los cojones.” As I’ve mentioned before, “cojones” is the rudest way you could talk about somebody’s balls. It is a lot ruder than saying “balls” in English, but there’s no real good equivalent in American English.

¿Te crees que soy gilipollas? (“Do you think I’m a moron?”): “Gilipollas” is a dual purpose swear word in Spanish. It can either mean “asshole” or someone so dumb that it’s a wonder they can walk and breathe at the same time. It is not ableist language, it has never been a scientific term for people with intellectual disabilities.  

¡Yo no he dicho una puta mierda! (“I haven’t said shit!”): More specifically, Lucas says he hasn’t said “fucking shit.” 😂

Es que me parece flipante (“I’m tweaking out”): Again, Eva uses “flipante,” which is the adjective form of “flipar” (to trip, in a drug sense). Since Eva is having all these (completely wrong) epiphanies right now, I thought I’d do her one better and phrased it as “tweaking out.”

¡Es que me la suda! (“I don’t give a shit!”): Okay, so when Spaniards really, really don’t care about something, we say that whatever it is we don’t care about “me suda la polla” or “me suda el coño.” This literally means that thing you don’t care about is… sweat dripping down your dick, or your pussy, depending. So. Yeah. That’s how little Lucas now cares about Eva’s opinion of him. Sweat off his dick. For the record, yes, this is a fairly rude thing to say, but as you might’ve gathered from these posts, and just from watching Skam España… We use this idiom on the daily. It’s shocking coming from Lucas, but only because he uses it as a Precision F-Strike, not because it’s any stronger than the way the characters usually speak.

CLIP 3: Squad no longer

¿Esto no sera verdad? (“This can’t be true?”): So, right away, Viri has a belligerent tone, and also asks Eva this question. The literal translation is, “This isn’t going to be true?” As in, “this had better not be true, sis.” So Viri puts Eva on the spot with her opening line.

I think the Skam España crew should’ve waited a little longer before shooting this scene, lol. Unless Viri was tagged on one of the pics, there is no fucking way she’d have seen the hate ig unless she was present when it was created. It’s only been three minutes since the pictures were posted.

Ya son ganas de meter mierda (“You really have to be a shit stirrer to pull this”): A more literal translation would be, “You gotta be eager to shit stir.” I reworked it so the meaning came across more clearly.

So I guess a good question is, is what the girls did and said in this clip true to Spanish teens? I think that’s a very complicated question, but worth asking. Obviously, it depends on the person. Viri has her own character arc that we’ll deal with through subsequent posts. When it comes to Amira and Cris, though, my take is this. Spaniards will go hard for a friend. Amira and Cris have needed to be held back from telling Inés what’s what, if not outright fighting her. But, if you go so hard for a friend, you expect reciprocity. You don’t expect to have the rug pulled from under your feet, which is the way Amira and Cris feel. If Eva had told them about her history with Inés beforehand, there’s a chance they’d have told Inés to get over it and fuck off. Eva just didn’t give them the chance to process the info and then make the choice to defend her.

CLIP 4: We’ve reached peak Youth’s Daughter

It took me a while to decide whether I wanted to use “copying” or “cheating,” and it was a total waste of time, because I clearly should’ve gone for “cheating” and not “copying.”

How many remakes have used Youth’s Daughter at this point? It’s even on the soundtrack of the movie Lisa Teige starred in, Battle. Hopefully the remakes avoid song fatigue in the future, although some artists, such as Billie Eilish, Troye Sivan or Mona Haydar, seem almost compulsory.

CLIP 5: Puns are a translator’s nightmare

After squinting at Eva’s exam for a good while, I feel pretty confident about saying that the high school is named after Margarita Manso. Margarita Manso was a painter and general eschewer of rules. It’s worth noting that she was close friends with Federico García Lorca, who was killed by fascists during the Spanish civil war. García Lorca stood accused of being a socialist, a freemason and a homosexual, and was executed. His body has never been found. However, Margarita Manso also married a fascist, Alfonso Ponce de León, who was himself executed by the faction supporting the government. Here’s a pic of Margarita:

No, that’s not the actual name of the high school where they shoot the show. As mentioned elsewhere, Spanish fans can be very intense and it’s in the cast’s best interests to avoid a Nissen situation.

Lucas was not done with that exam, lol. And Eva wasn’t even close to finished, yikes.

Nora sings Lo Malo to Eva. Lo Malo was written by Brisa Fenoy and performed by Aitana (again!) and Ana Guerra. Since the lyrics are a key element of the scene, they’re included in the subs. I just want to explain some of the puns in the lyrics.

Tira porque te toca a ti perder (“Roll because it’s your turn to lose”): “Tira,” in this context, would mean “get out of my face,” but also, “roll the dice.” So, roll the dice because now it’s your turn to lose, but also, get out of my face, I’m over your shit. I hope “roll” helped convey both meanings.

Tiro porque me toca a mí otra vez (“I roll because it’s my turn again”): Another pun about rolling dice. I’m rolling the dice, because I got a second roll of the dice, but also, I’m leaving because I got rid of you, and this time it’s about me.

Pero si me toca, toca, tócame (“But if it’s my turn, touch-a, touch me”): “Toca” can also have several meanings. In this case, it can either mean that it’s my turn (“me toca”) or begging to be touched/stroked/caressed (“tócame”).

As for whether Lo Malo fits the role Baby played in the original… First off, I have to say that William, in that scene, is styled to look like Baby-era Justin Bieber, what with the hood pulled up. Julie Andem is making a connection between the music Noora is embarrassed to listen to, and the boy Noora is ashamed to find hot. There’s nothing embarrassing about liking Aitana and Ana Guerra as artists, per se, other than they got their start at a talent show and dueted on this song because they were contractually obligated to do so. That said, the lyrics fit Nora and Alejandro thematically and, on top of that, the song was really. Seriously. Incredibly. Overplayed in Spain in the summer of 2018, much like Baby was in its time.

Lo llevo muy jodido (“I have a fucking F in it”): I fought with this line so hard, and even as the episode was rendering, I knew I would regret my choice. Alejandro is also making a pun. He says he’s been consistently getting bad grades in English, but he also means that all his efforts to hook up with Nora have failed. There isn’t really a good translation for his line, but if we ever fix our subs, I’d go with, “I’m fucked, if I keep this up.” Or something akin to that!

CLIP 6: Queen Lara

“Hey, dude, give me a sip.” Why did I sub this line? Because it was oddly clear, and it just… seemed like I should… 😬

Tú sabrás el rollo que te llevas con tu novio (“Whatever deal you have with your boyfriend, that’s up to you”): This is one of those lines that took me a while to settle on a translation for. I’m happy with the line, but I’ll expand on what Lara means. She means to say that Eva’s relationship with Jorge is not Lara’s business. When it comes to the part that affects Lara, she doesn’t blame Eva, and fully blames Cristian. Whatever led Eva to kiss Cristian, and whether that’s something Jorge is cool with or isn’t, Lara thinks it’s not her place to judge or speak about.

I think it’s kinda funny that the fandom is chill with Lara reading Cristian’s texts and not regretting doing so, despite the show making it clear that’s not kosher, but thinks Viri is an asshole for posting the Cristian/rando pic (which the show also looked down on when it was the hate ig doing it, to be clear).

CLIP 7: Kicking Eva when she’s down

You don’t know how much I want to know where those stairs are.

Y habíamos quedado (“And you were supposed to come to the party”): Eva says she and Jorge “habían quedado,” which as I explained last post, means they had arranged to meet. In this case, they had arranged that both Eva and Jorge would party at Nora’s. So, not the exact translation, but the best option, given how vague the original sentence is.

Si Quieres Volver by El Imperio del Perro is the song which closes the clip and plays over the credits. I translated the lyrics that are used on the show:

You should understand That I’m in deep shit Any decision Smells bad where I stand

And now I’ll carry The shame on my back And I’ll be yet another person Who’ll apologize wordlessly

Tell me if you want to get back together (5x)

It’s so simple To ruin everything And watch as it burns

Something forces me to go on and Enjoy when it leaves I felt the need To jump in the well There was something else, I couldn’t see it

Tell me if you want to get back together (10x)

Social media:

Some people watch Skam and the remakes without keeping up with the social media aspect of the show. In general, I feel like you can watch Skam without the social media, and not miss anything of importance. But if you watch Skam España season 1 without the social media, you’ll miss a couple important details.

First, while the show was airing, the hate account felt inescapable. It updated very often and at random times, so that the real-time viewer first felt shocked, then tired, then massively over it. Someone who comes into the show late, needs to know that we would sometimes get excited because there was an update, but oh. It was yet more abuse.

Second, a viewer who watches the season without the social media, misses the actual chain of events, which is as follows:

Viri shares the following pic with Inés privately at some point during the week:

Clip 7 drops at 20:40.

Inés uploads the pic to her insta stories at 20:43.

By 20:45, the instagram profile @eva_la_z0rra or @eva_the s1ut, has taken the picture from Inés’ ig stories and cropped it, so that Eva and Cristian are the focus of the pic.

As a sidenote, Inés captions the pic like so: “wow, alex and alba came out cute… 🙊” Álex and Alba are Lucas’ and Eva’s actors’ real names.        

[flamehairedsiren]

Five OTP Songs

Tagged by @pikapeppa of course, which shouldn’t surprise y’all. :P

Naturally, those who know me know about The Sun and Moon (aka my brain child and baby) so naturally this meme shall go to Aloy and Avad. <3

(Note: gif is mine. Please do not use without my permission.)

I have a whole ass playlist for The Sun and Moon so all these songs are taken from that. There’s literally no sense to it, though. lol There’s classical, Bollywood, soundtracks, pop, the works. I mean, the thing is over 30 hours long. lmao

1. Kings And Queens by Thirty Seconds to Mars Not a romantic song, obviously, but if this fic was a movie, this song would be rolling in the credits. The whole point of TSAM is Aloy and Avad’s story as a couple and Aloy’s future as a monarch. I can’t not use this song. It defines the very heart and soul of my story.

2. Love So Soft by Kelly Clarkson We all know Avad is a soft boy but affectionate as hell. The title speaks for itself, I think. (Alternative: Something that Wild by Chris Cagle. We all know Aloy isn’t gonna be tied down, even with her winding up with a king, and this song pretty much indicates toward Avad’s acknowledgement of that fact)

3. What is Love? by Frances Aloy’s never been in a romantic relationship before. Naturally, it’s a new thing for her. She’s euphoric but also confused. She’s learning, and she’s doing it with a man who adores her and respects her (considering the fact that he’s Carja? Wild). She’s more confident in herself as a grown woman who’s seen more of the world, but really, what is love?

4. Born To Be Yours by Imagine Dragons (ft. Kygo) Another self-explanatory title. Aloy and Avad are enamored by each other, and the closer they get, the tighter they click. Avad realizes that he’s never going to meet the likes of her again and Aloy, despite her misgivings, has found her kindred spirit. Avad is a prisoner to his throne, and yet he hungers for the world like she does. They’re not going to back down now.

5. Lahu Munh Lag Gaya by Sanjay Leela Bhansali and Siddharth-Garima from the film Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-Leela A lot of my readers/friends know that I’ve tied India very closely with the Carja, so it should go without saying that I’d add one of my favorite Bollywood songs. This song is very sensual (and if you’ve seen the movie, you’ll agree the kiss in this scene is hot af). A translation of the song title is I have kissed blood or I have tasted blood on my lips (which is a metaphor to love). I think it relates to Aloy and Avad’s relationship really well and indicates to the culture I’ve favored for Avad, both in the world of Horizon: Zero Dawn and as a 21st-century man. India is a beautiful country with well over a thousand languages and countless cultures. Like damn, y’all make me feel so unworthy.

Bonus: Aayat by Sanjay Leela Bhansali and Siddharth Garima and Ab Tohe Jane Na Doongi by Sanjay Leela Bhansali and A.M. Turaz from the film Bajirao Mastani I couldn’t resist including my two favorite songs from Bajirao Mastani. Aayat is a very worshipful song, Ab Tohe Jane No Doongi is the sweetest definition of pillowtalk, and both songs gives a peace that befits Aloy and Avad perfectly. A portion of the translated lyrics from Aayat reads: I have memorized you Like holy verses from Quran And a portion from Ab Tohe Jane No Doongi’s translation: Now, I won’t let you go This mistress like night has come I mean, the deep and profound love in these lyrics is everything. This is Aloy and Avad to me. A king and queen who share an undying love that transcends culture, religion, and strife; much like Bajirao and Mastani.

Gonna tag all three of my writer friends LOL @ir-anuk @valaloy @sun-and-shadow-aloy (and @mhysaofdragons for good measure haha)

[devoverest]

Getting to know me: a novel

@ignisgalaxia @imaginationdrift @bizships @lodessa and @streepmulgrew  have all tagged me for this, and I just can't take the peer pressure any longer. However, I'm so long-winded everyone will surely be very sorry that you five ever asked me. I will try very hard to put most of this below a "read more" link, but my mobile app doesn't play nicely with that feature any longer, so I truly deeply and sincerely apologize if yours doesn't either and you get a callus scrolling past all of what follows on your way to the gifsets you're on Tumblr to enjoy.

1. Relationship status: married -- legally and everything. It was the mid-'90s. I was considering having a religious ceremony but forgoing the state-recognized marriage license part, in solidarity with same-sex couples who at the time and for many years afterward were denied that privilege. However, my father absolutely put his foot down (something he almost never did with me, especially in my young adulthood) and insisted on the marriage license. He supported marriage equality, but he was thinking of my economic security in case our marriage didn't last. He was right to do, as I ended up taking many years out of the paid workforce to raise children, which I hadn't planned on doing when I decided to marry.

In case Tumblr is stupid, right here is where I’ve inserted a “read more” link as I’m writing this post. I tried. 

2. Lipstick or chapstick: Usually neither. Actually, never literal Chapstick because that stuff is made out of petroleum and isn't good for your skin. I learned that when I was playing a lot of flute in high school and college and had to take extra special care of my lips to play well. If the weather gets really cold and dry, which it rarely does where I live, and if I can hang on to any of the half-dozen tubes I buy every year but which invariably get swiped and then lost by family members, I use a Burt's Bees lip balm. I seem to have a knack for finding them barely-used in the bottom of my purse during the warm months and then never having one at hand when I actually need it. I think I own one lip pencil currently and I'll sometimes use that to outline my lips when I'm doing some sort of special-event public speaking kinda gig but I don't wear any make-up normally. My husband claims that I knew full well it was a date the first time we got together socially because I wore make-up. I have never admitted to him that he is correct, but he is.

3. Three favorite foods: Too many to narrow down to just three. I enjoy and appreciate a wide range of foods. Things I enjoy and appreciate perhaps a tad more frequently than I ought to in the strictest interests of nutrition are chocolate in almost any form, ice cream (especially that of the chocolate persuasion and most especially any form of peanut-butter/chocolate), and Starburst brand jellybeans, which my son and I share somewhat ritualistically most evenings after dinner (which is somehow not the same thing as for dessert.) Why yes, I do have a sweet tooth -- why do you ask?

4. Song stuck in your head: Currently "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman-Turner Overdrive (I had to google that.) I don't know why but suspect it was on TV this evening, which makes me fear that it may be the campaign song for some politician I would never vote for. Which reminds me -- US citizens, please double-check that you are registered to vote and make a plan for voting in the upcoming midterms! This will probably the most important election of your entire lifetime, past or future, no matter what your age, and in many races in many states, voter turnout will be the single deciding factor in who controls the future of our country for a very long time to come. Please vote!

5. Last movie you watched: "Crazy Rich Asians," with my husband, unwisely just two days after I had minor (but surprisingly butt-kicking) surgery. We went to the first matinee showing on a Saturday and actually arrived at the theater before it even opened, a sure sign of mature middle age if I've ever heard of one. We both loved the film -- it was glitzy, funny, extremely well-written and -acted, got all the Chinese cultural details right, offered caricatures but no stereotypes, was very female-centric and multi-generational, and of course starred the exquisite and inimitable Michelle Yeoh who also plays Philippa Georgiou on Star Trek: Discovery. Laughed until my belly hurt (literally, sadly) and then went home and slept the rest of the day.

6. Top three shows: This will sound really strange for someone who is on Tumblr because of TV show fandom, but I don't watch TV. I grew up with Star Trek TOS reruns and movies, then TNG in college & grad school, then Voyager until extended stays abroad made it impossible to keep up with (back in the days before streaming and VPNs.) I reconnected with Star Trek in summer 2017 when I was home alone for six weeks and binged all of Voyager and then started digging up fanfic for all the reasons all the Voyager fans turn to fic -- to fix what the show's writers mutilated -- and now here I am, but I don't watch TV, and when I do it's the nightly news or whatever sports my husband is watching and then it's just because I feel like sitting in the same room with my husband at that particular time. The one exception to this fact about me is that I did watch Star Trek: Discovery as it was being released last year, and even got my teenager into it. (He is a Netflix addict but never watched any Star Trek anything before that. I don't know where I went wrong with this child.)

7. Books I'm currently reading: Eternal Tide by Kirsten Beyer because @voyager-book-club; Ancillary Justice by Ann Leckie (audiobook but I'm counting it); Five Ways to Forgiveness by Ursula K. LeGuin, Soul at Work: Spiritual Leadership in Organizations by Margaret Benefiel; Pachinko by Min Jin Lee; and Selecting and Using Breastfeeding Tools: Improving Care and Outcomes by Catherine Watson Genna. Except that the last three books on the list are ones I have at hand and keep wanting to read but haven't so much as opened yet. But including them gives you a more complete sense of my interests.

8. Last thing I googled: "you ain't seen nothing yet lyrics" because #4 above. Before that, "instant pot beef stew recipe." No need to look further back in my search history (she said during a break from writing smut.) *whistles innocently*

9. Time: 10:30pm as I write this. No idea when I'll post it or when you'll read it. This seems like a silly question to include for a post of this nature.

10. Dream trip: India. But I've also never crossed the equator and really feel I should someday, so who knows, maybe I'll find a way to drop in on all the Australian friends I've made in Voyager fandom. Now wouldn't that be lovely?

11. Anything you want: Anyone who knows me in real life (and anyone hanging around the Voyager Book Club discord server) knows I never shut up about breastfeeding support and advocacy. But I always try to make it clear that I'm not preaching at parents about how they should feed their babies; rather, I'm working to help parents who want to breastfeed overcome any challenges they encounter. I save my preaching for the folks involved with policy and institutional barriers to breastfeeding, and when it comes to the unethical and demonstrably harmful advertising practices of the infant formula industry, my preaching leans hard toward the hellfire and damnation variety because that is some truly evil shit, folks -- the advertising practices, not the formula milk itself; let's be very, very clear about that.

Rules: Tag 15 people you want to get to know better.

Here I shall echo @imaginationdrift: "(Really?! That sounds like a number chosen by an extroverted maven.) / Ok, here goes. / FEEL FREE TO: never complete this. I won’t be disappointed, promise." Also, apologies to those who have already responded -- feel even freer to ignore. 

@garrulus  @rikerssexblouse  @klugtiger  @ussjellyfish  @kate-coleman-writes  @lameraextranjera  @armitagetrekkie  @warp6  @admiralkatcornwellfan @zjofierose  @writtenndust @trekkiefeminist @quirkette100 @nerdfishgirl @hoidn

[unimpressedperson]

Thank you @ohmydearmoonchild for tagging me on it. it’s very thoughtful of you, baby <3

Make a moodboard that describes who you are

Let’s begin explaining that I tried condensing a lot of informations in six pictures, so I chose those photos that meant more than what it seems. The explanation will possibly get pretty big, sorry :/

First picture is about my main personality trait: knowledge. The books represent to me both distraction and focus, imagination and information. That duality makes me love books. I read to distract from shit happening around me, also I love learning and studying (mainly idioms, history, literature and philosophy). I don’t know if I’m really that smart, but I feel attracted to clever people and I cannot demand something impossible to keep up with, so I try my best to always stay with a sharp mind. Beside all those informations, I get bored easily, so finding out some new facts and informations makes me feel more interesting, witted and keen.

Second picture is about solitude. I’m not lonely, even tho I spend most of my time alone. Most people think I’m unhappy or constantly lonely, but they never understand how that I can’t stay long surounded by a crowd of people, at least not without craving for some time all by myself and my thoughs. There are a lot of people who bothers me, and I’m not a fan of physical contact. However, I’m not against the idea of dating someone, if at some point I find a person who cativates me and who loves me enough to accept my quirky personality, then I’ll dive into that relationship. Romantically talking, I’m not a romantic person, but I’d love to find someone willing to spend hours talking about random stuff with me, a person who understand that I function better at night and after midnight, not a morning person. Also, I’m not clingy, but sometimes cuddles are welcome.

Third picture is about my worst flaw: insecurity. I’m very insecure, like, a lot! Sometimes I doubt about my strenght, capability, talent, appearance (there are days I despise it so hard), everything related to me. Whenever I get insecure about something (last month I was literally crying and sobbing about my IQ points, which in 2016 I scored 130 and now I feel dumber than ever, mainly after I got fired from my previous job), it affects everything around me. Being so insecure stopped me from attending to drama, singing and dancing classes. It also makes me despise the idea of making mistakes in front of other people, that’s another reason why I learn most things alone, where only I can watch how I make a fool of myself.

Fourth image is about music. I don’t play instruments or sing, but I love music with all my stone cold heart. Listening to how a compilate of musical symbols can turn out a whole track with feelings, rhythm and multiple meanings to each verse. I do have the kind of synesthesia where the person see colours on sounds and there are colourful songs (like FROOT from Marina Diamandis and Blood, Sweat & Tears by BTS). It works like therapy in me, savouring every sound and absorbing every lyric makes me feel so good, just like dancing. Music and dance are my therapies, moving muscles along to a song, even not in the right rhythm, it releases so much stress and anxiety. I would love to compose, but since I don’t play instruments, the closest thing left is writing poems, which I do often, both in english and portuguese.

Fifth image is about militancy. I’m a LGBT woman, whose believe in feminist ideals. That’s it. For me it’s important to study how machist, sexist, homophobic and biased our society has been so far, and how it still is. Even fighting everyday, not everyone believes that women and men are equal and should be treated equally or paid the same, and that’s why we need to keep on discussing, bringing our message to those narrow-minded folks. Justice is blind, the only way to bring back its vision is proving our point, by studying and  encourage others.

Last image is about travelling and being rootless. First thing first, I love travelling and knowing new places, cultures and people. My main goal (beside having a successful career) is to travel the most I can while I’m alive, after death there is nothing else to be done, only buried or cremated. The interest I feel on knowledge makes me curious about another cultures and stories. Even tho I hate going to the beach, there are places around the Globe on the coast that I’d die to visit. Also, I love museums and tourist spots. The second meaning behind the photo is that I’m not someone with roots to my home, so I could live far from Brazil, family and friends for a whole life without feeling homesick, part of that is my lack of sentimental behavior, but it doesn’t mean I don’t love those people, I just wouldn’t miss them enough to give up working/living abroad.

Conclusion, I’m not actually interesting, only a very complicated person. Sorry for the long ass text.

That’s the basic about me in a moodboard. Thank you for tagging me baby <3

I don’t know a lot of people on tumblr, so I’ll randomly tag people with same interests as me: @namjinkiss @jinseas @blackpantherandbtsquality @sherlock-hannibal @larrystylinsondontstop @harrypotterallwaswell @sherlockisthebest  hey guys, sorry for that, I’d love to see your moodboards <3

[kachulein]

🌸85 Questions🌸

Since the last time I did this tag was a few months ago, I thought I’ll do it again. I was tagged by the cutie @taeyongsflatbutt thanks dear💖

Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

Last

1. Drink - tea and water

2. Phone call - I literally never call anyone besides my therapist, so yeah, my therapist :3

3. Text message - I’m currently spamming my baby @taetaejagiyaaa95 with links to dance performances of the dance club I’m in lmao

4. Song you listened to - I’m listening to What Now by Rihanna as I’m writing this (I’m actually listening to the playlist @taetaejagiyaaa95 made for me💖)

5. Time you cried - Today while listening to Grow Up by Stray Kids because the lyrics and the song in general hit me so hard that I cannot listen to it without crying T-T

Ever

6. Dated someone twice - nope, when I end something it’s a definite end and I’m not getting back together with that person

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Actually yes... because there was this one time when this guy pressured me and kind of forced me into kissing him and I didn’t know how to escape ;-;

8. Been cheated on - not that I know of :o

9. Lost someone special - Haven’t we all? :/

10. Been depressed - Probably at some points in my life

11. Gotten drunk and threw up - yup >.< but I was like 13/14 years old back then and a stupid idiot

Fave colors

12. I seriously love all colours

13. Especially pastels

14. and of course black

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends - YES💖

16. Fallen out of love - definitely (glares @ ex bf for treating me like crap and just ghosting on me without ever explaining his actions to me...so I guess that’s over for good)

17. Laughed until you cried - I always cry when I laugh tbh and my friends like making fun of me then xD

18. Found out someone was talking about you - probably but I can’t really remember since I push such moments out of my mind

19. Met someone who changed you - I believe every person you meet in your lifetime has some kind of impact (big or small) on you and thus changes you to some extent (maybe only just for the time being they’re in your life but still)

20. Found out who your friends are - Yes, I am actually better at reading people than it may seem^^

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - Idk I don’t use facebook anymore xD

General

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - Again, idk since I don’t use it anymore

23. Do you have any pets - a Kitten💖

24. Do you want to change your name - My last name, yes. Since I don’t like it and people like making fun of it smh

25. What did you do for your last birthday - I went out to dinner with my mom and stepdad and ended up having the whole restaurant sing me happy birthday^^ it was awesome omg

26. What time did you wake up today - At noon I think

27. What were you doing @ midnight last night - I was finishing off a reaction on my blog @kachuwritings and posted it

28. What is something you can’t wait for - My I am WHO album to finally arrive T-T

30. What are you listening to right now - Daya - New

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - nah, I don’t know no Tom :o

32. Something that gets on my nerves - Someone interrupting me when I’m in the middle of daydreaming, people who brag about how great they are and in general just arrogance gets on my nerves a lot, animal cruelty is something that makes me extremely mad and sad and in general people with bad personalities/who abuse others/treat others badly, any form of discrimination and inequality in this world, our society and especially the unrealistic beauty standards our subconscious is being fed through the media 24/7 and so many more

33. Most visited website - Tumblr, YouTube and Vlive

34. Hair color - black^-^

35. Hair long or short - about middle length but I’m growing it out c:

36. Do you have a crush on someone - yesssss but not on someone I know irl glares @ Han Jisung from the other side of the world

37. What do you like about yourself - I really like being an empath tbh because it allows me to fully understand other people’s struggles and it can be nice to feel everything so deeply (love for example) (of course there’s also a downside to it) :3

38. Want any piercings - I already have 8 piercings on my ears but I always thought about getting nipple piercings someday but I honestly don’t know about that one^^’’ what do you think?

39. Blood type - A

40. Nicknames - Kachu

41. Relationship status - married to Han Jisung in my head single like a pringle

42. Zodiac - Aquarius

43. Pronouns - she/her

44. Fave TV shows (Can I add anime? I don’t watch other TV shows) - Sword Art Online, Tokyo Ghoul, Ouran High School Host Club

45. Tattoos - A violin key with a rose on my right forearm (that I drew myself and it signifies my love for music) and I’m thinking of getting angel wings on my shoulder blades but I need to draw them first kdjdksooidsfuhi

46. Right or left handed - right

47. Ever had surgery - nope

48. piercings - ears

49. Sports - dancing,,,mainly & hula hooping

50. Vacations - I’ve been to England, Spain, France, Germany, Switzerland(of course), Denmark, Czech Republic, Austria, Italy and Greece already but never outside of Europe jckdcudscn but I’m going to South Korea next year c:

51. Trainers - uhm... don’t really know what to answer here???

More general

52. Eating - I ate potato salad for dinner but that was around 6 hours ago lmao

53. Drinking - water^-^

54. I’m about to watch - Nothing since it’s 3.30am and I should go to sleep

55. Waiting - for better days *sigh*

56. Want - to be more motivated and not always feel exhausted and powerless on a daily basis because every little thing gets me overwhelmed lately and I feel so lazy since I lack power to accomplish anything and I have so much shit to do T-T 

57. Get married - not sure ._.

58. Career - Probably psychologist but I’m actually dreaming of becoming a singer&songwriter

Wich is better

59. Hugs or kisses - Depending on my mood either can be better

60. Lips or eyes - ....I love both equally tbh, beautiful eyes and plump lips really affect me sjakdansfunoj Hyunjin’s lips are a good example seriously they look so soft :( and Felix’s eyes are extremely beautiful and big wow

61. Shorter or taller - shorter because I’m too tall and I hate it ._.

62. Older or younger - younger, I don’t wanna grow up the world seems to only get worse the older I get akfnsdfisdsuld

63. Nice stomach or arms - hmmmmm I LOVE slim waists so I guess stomach?

64. Hookup or relationship - relationship!!! ALL. THE. DAMN. WAY. i can’t stand hookup culture :/ (but you do you fam, I’m not gonna judge anyone since it’s none of my business)

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - hesitant (I’m a good girl okay :c)

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger - I don’t think so omg

67. Drank hard liquor - yup, long ago though, I barely drink since I don’t like alcohol due to,,, reasons

68. Lost glasses - surprisingly, no xD

69. Turned someone down - unfortunately, yes :/

70. Sex on first date - It wasn’t a date... o.o it was just a hookup and that made me realize that I dislike sex without love involved and that’s how I found out that hookups are nothing for me^^’’

71. Broken someone’s heart - Probably the people I’ve turned down :/

72. Had your heart broken - ...yes

73. Been arrested - OMG NOOOOOO :o

74. Cried when someone died - Yes

75. Fallen for a friend - No never

Do you believe in

76. Yourself - I really wish I could

77. Miracles - not sure but I hope they’re real T-T

78. Love at first sight - naah

79. Santa Claus - yeeeah no, I’m not 5 years old anymore honey^^

80. Kiss on first date - Sure if it feels right

81. Angels - Not sure o.o

Other

82. Best friend’s name - I don’t have a best friend actually... (applications are open lmao)

83. Eye color - a really ugly brown istg there are so many beautiful kinds of brown eyes out there and mine just look ugly tbh D:

84. Fave movie - I have so many skaudbjf but Harry Potter is pretty high up on the list (I cannot trust people who dislike Harry Potter... my ex disliked it...yeah that just confirmed my hypothesis)

85. Favorite actor/actress - I always liked Audrey Hepburn, Olivia Newton-John, Julia Roberts, Keira Knightley, Emma Watson, Cameron Diaz, Meryl Streep, Amanda Seyfried, Pierce Brosnan, John Travolta, Patrick Swayze, Jack Black, Logan Lerman, Dylan O’Brien, as well as Leonardo DiCaprio, Johnny Depp, Orlando Bloom, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant - see, I can’t choose D:

soooo that was it yay^^ I’m tagging @marculees @taetaejagiyaaa95 @glamjae @bloomingfantasy @taetarte @1oonar @00njm @star-sam @hyunjinsgiggle @jbemin @orrin-uwu @redcucumbers @donghyuwus @alonelysquid and as always, you don’t have to do it💖

[cause-im-a-pilot-anywhere-blog]

!Tag game!

Tagged by: @bring-rejoyce

(Thank youuuu sm my cute mutual💓✨)

Rules: answer 30 questions and the tag 20 blogs you want to know better

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Nickname: Koko is a nickname from one of my middle names (I have 2) it comes out of Kokoro which is my japanese given name. I also have Kyung-ju which is my korean name but literally no one calls me that. The trend is the K.

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Gender: Female

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Zodiac: Virgo

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Height: 5'9 or 176 cm

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Time: 02:22 am (lol)

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Favorite band/solo artist: Seventeen, Akmu, Ideadead, Day6, Dean, CiKi, Babymetal, Wednesday Campanella, Sayuri, Ok Go, mxmtoon, Sofia Reyes, HONNE, Khai Dreams, Daniel Ceaser, OFFONOFF, (so many more istg)

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Song Stuck in my head: 'I miss you' by Joyce chu (It's so catchy and simple and cute)

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Last movie I saw: Fully- Train to Busan (I roped my brother to finally watch it since he's never seen it) Half-Hush on Netflix, I got bored too quick

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Last thing I googled: Kokuyo Stationery supplies (Stocking up for school and this company's products are so organized and helpful)

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Other Blogs: @straykidsmademecry

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Do I get asks: no :'( its ok tho :')

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Why I chose this username: Because Bolbbalgan4's song galaxy is a bop. Ive been listening to it for years and im still not tired of it. The lyrics are super cute aswell. I realize now that it also makes my name toooo long (oops lol)

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Following: 548 (hello I love to read a lot)

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Amount of sleep I get: Honestly depends, sometimes I get barely an hour and sometimes I sleep the whole day. I think what I did that day or how cuddly Im feeling determines it.

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Lucky number: 8 or 5

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What Im wearing: A crop top sweater and shorts for sleeping (its too hot lovely weather to die)

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Dream Job: Translator or Music producer, I love languages and cultures and linguistics fascinate me. I also produce music in my free time and it's my dream to have a song I made on the billboard (or have one of my fav artist perform my songs, its very very unlikely tho :') )

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Dream Trip: Red sea in Thailand, Somewhere secret in Spain or Greece and Busan,Korea ( to see my cousins, I havent seen them in yeaaarss)

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Favorite foods: French Fries, Flan, Mochi, Dark chocolate kit kats,,,

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Instruments: Piano, Uke, eh-Drums, and I used to get lessons for the gayageum or koto or whatever its called but I completely forgot

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Favorite Songs:

•Ok Go- I wont let you down

•Zico- She's a baby (uwu)

•Mitski- Francis Forever

•Andy Grammer- Give Love

•Orange Caramel- My copycat

•HONNE- Me&You or Day1

•YeYe- ゆらゆら (yura yura)

•Bomba Estéro- Soy yo

•AJR- Good part or no grass today

•Diana Fuentes- La fortuna(My parents love this song and that makes me uwu x2)

If anyone wants to do this, I tag you! Go for it It's fun!! If you've already done this or don't want to, sorry bubs,,,Otherwise Im tagging:

❇ @rmismyguy42069 ❇ @curledlife ❇ ❇ @thatcrimsonartist ❇ @starlightdreamland ❇ @luvnjm ❇ @jinslefteyebrow ❇ @book-bandnerd1907 ❇ @1ovelix ❇ @nervousatthenightclub ❇ @nctsense ❇ @stray-kids-stuff ❇ @hwangs ❇ @seunqmins ❇ @semiloyaltrash ❇ @gamerwoo ❇ @merakiyukhei ❇ @libcracorpus ❇ @foolishlydreamingx ❇ @felixsloser ❇

💓💕(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *ヽ(◕ヮ◕ヽ)💕💓

[mintchocfringe]

10 Biases

Hi hello there I've been tagged by my good pal @pepperminthiya to talk about 10 biases, so enjoy me ranting about my faves because I never do that..... anyway onto the love 😎 I’ve been putting off finishing this bc I lowkey expose myself but sure here we are......

1) Taehyung - BTS

One of my ultimate baes, I really do adore him a lot. He’s so positive, friendly, and bubbly, big lov. I need a minute to talk about his vocal range, because fam it’s very impressive (i’m a music person, i’m in the know) and he has this beautiful, rich voice and I just *clutches heart* love it. I need to talk about stage presence because onstage tae and off stage are different people I swear (esp during Blood Sweat and Tears, that stage where he had the fake scars on his back omllllllllll) and he’s so charismatic!! Big love. Also, he’s adorable! Oh my god so soft and fluffy which makes my heart go w h o o s h, but will also!!! come for my life !!! (y’all saw the dispatch photos I was unable to cope).

2) Hoseok - BTS 

Okay listen. I have been bias wrecked by j-hope for so long that i’m just lying to myself if I don’t bias him at this point. I've been biased the whole time and just never said so.....I really do love him with all my heart, he’s so full of life and energetic, is always picking people up when they’re down and just a genuine good person. Hope World really shook me to my core, the lyrics and everything about it really reached out to me but I loved him so much even beforehand. He’s so talented in so many ways and is super charismatic as well, big big love. Also there’s something about the tonality of his voice as well??? I don’t know how to properly describe it but the whole kinda baritone/raspy thing he has going on ??? oof

3) Irene - Red Velvet

Right okay so I just a minute because i’m so incredibly snatched by Irene, I mean her surname is Bae!!! Meant to be. I love her because aside from being incredibly stunning (how is one person allowed to be that gorgeous omg) she’s so dorky and cute too? Like in her own kind of quieter way but she can be vvv serious, Mama Irene the Ironing Cooking Queen but also silly and funny too. Of late she has been so down for raising up women which I am all about! I only stan intellectuals after all!

4) JiU - Dreamcatcher

 This girl, let me tell you. She may the “fake maknae” type, but she is a powerful woman. Can rock literally every hair colour without trying, can be good at any concept without even trying and she just amazes me. She’s so dorky and weird omg???? Like talks about such weird things and behaves like a toddler on a sugar high but is also a slaying queen??? I am unable to cope, I love her so much. Her vocals are kind of honey-like and really sweet which just makes me ;_; Also she loves the colour pink more than life itself and it’s so cute asjakls

5) Jun - Seventeen

OOoooooooooookay. Where to begin with the vampire meme prince of China??? (I won’t stop talking about his vampire web drama you can’t make me mom). I’m so affected by his presence it’s embarrassing. He’s too powerful and actually damages my general stability in life. So powerful that I abandoned Hoshi for him...(I was always biased though, I was out there watching his web drama calling myself a hoshi stan dasjdalkjds). He embodies ��duality of man” so much I get whiplash from him smh... Can be so present on stage and such a character but is a soft baby too??? He makes his little puns (lest we forget ajun nice) and cares for the other members so much and is really really soft. Can be the cutest patoot in the whole world but also the most dangerous man ??? in the space of 00000.2 seconds ?? idk man i’m never okay when he’s out there being himself...

6) Youngjae - GOT7

*inhales* hoooooooooo well. I have lots and lots and lots of love for JYP’s resident otter. He just embodies a ray of sunshine and is so bright and bubbly and his laugh adds 2 years to my life!! Although I really love his more expressive side too when he releases his emo songs at 3am and remember it got leaked that he has tattoos????? oh my god. I could go on forever about my love for him because in all honesty he’s very close (if not basically) my ideal type. I’ve talked with some of my close friends about this and we’re vvv similar so idk that makes me all gooey and cringey to think about it ((cringe culture can fight me)) but yeah. I think that says everything I need to say tbh...

7) Dahyun - Twice

There is just something in the water at JYP because I adore Dahyun with every fibre of my being. A soft memey bean who had so much love to give but is so loved too which makes me so happy <3 I’m calling it now but she’s gonna be a hecking good mc on something one day, something funny like weekly idol (or whatever the new version will be.. rip honestly) where her true Comedic Queen self can shine! She makes some hella good jokes and never fails to make everyone laugh when she’s on a variety show etc. Her personality is so likeable and she’s just so friendly!!! ((this seems to be a theme... hmm)) 

8) Kihyun - Monsta x 

mmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMM oh my goodness gracious i’m so affected by kihyun it’s horrific. ((not as much as jun but close)). I always seem to be stanning these “duality” types whereby they’re so soft and fluffy one minute but attacc my whole life the next. Kihyun is such a dangerous man on stage, and is so stunning like his visuals are no joke but is also a soft bean??? Kihyun just kills me, like his vocals are A+++ and any high/ power note sends me to the grave. He’s also too savage for me, which isn’t my usual type but a lot of the time it’s really funny... oops.... 

9) Nayoung - Pristin/ IOI

Idk man there’s something about Nayoung that just gets to me? She was known as “stone nayoung” during pd101 for being so serious/ shy and I understand bc I’m too serious sometimes too lmao but she’s also really sweet! She will protecc pristin with her life and makes such weird jokes as well lmao. She too is super powerful, rapping her way into my heart. A queen

10) Doyoung/Jaehyun - NCT

Okay i’m cheating a little bit here BUT they are both in NCT but anyways... I love them a looooooooot, doyoung is such a bean but will fite u for not picking up your socks off the floor. He’s such a little fluff but will come for my life ((Esp 7th sense hooo that was a time) and he’s such a good mc! Vroom Vroom Talk Show paid off :D ((fight me it was fantastic))

But then there’s jeff. He’s such a meme ((which i’m too weak for save me)), but also such a bean?? The cutest fluff but needs milk but will also fuck me up ?? I can’t handle how fast his personality changes between on stage/off stage/ general existence.... He’s so adorable but really fucks with my sanity sometimes and I h9 him but will fite anyone to protect him. Idk what to tell you fam I just love jeff too much.

Hooooo that was a journey but here we are! Also, this isn’t in any particular order because I have so much love to give, and wish I could include more biases but you can just keep an eye on my posts for that :P 

Tagging: @apassionthatisdead @beingtaessoulmate @kittog @merci-beau-kook @todoroki-bean @hopeless-namjin 

Enjoy!

[unleashthemidnight]

92 Truths

Tagged by @serendiptious-esparza, thank you my darling <3

Last…

Drink: Juice (grape-apple-raspberry)

Phone Call: Mom

Song you listened to: Juha Tapio - Sydän Jota Rakastan (The Heart I Love)

“I wouldn’t want to live here by chance and without a reason. I have searched flashes in the middle of the emptiness. I whisper to you “I might believe in a miracle” and you laugh when you ask “well, what kind”“ “On the Milky Way there’s a star, and a planet going around it, on the planet there’s a city, in the city there’s a street, along that there’s a house with you in the window. And you have the heart that I love.”

Time you cried: Today a little, because of the laughter (youtube gaming videos and ~the golden dick path~ [I love you all so much <3]) and sadness (tried to put my depressed feelings etc into words in our whatsapp group with couple of closest friends).

Have You Ever ___?

Dated someone twice: No

Been cheated on: No

Kissed someone and regretted it: No

Lost someone special: Yes, my dad

Been Depressed: Yes, and I have been diagnosed with depression (and mixed anxiety disorder [aka anxiety and some sort of depression], don’t know if the diagnosis changed overall or just added the severity level of it)

Been drunk and thrown up: No

In The Past Year Have You…

Made a new friend: Yes (I joined tumblr, you are my friends n__n)

Fallen out of love: not in "loving someone and not anymore” kind of way, anything else not sure

Laughed until you cried: Yes

Met someone that changed you: Yes. I count here all the small things like the people who changed my day in positive way etc even if it was just for the moment. The smallest things can change the bigger picture even if I don’t know it now or even later.

Found out who your true friends are: No...? I don’t have many friends and the friends that I have are true, atleast I think so

Found out someone was talking about you: Yes

General

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: I know that few of my irl friends have tumblr and I know couple of the url’s but they don’t know mine. Atleast I don’t think so...

Do you have any pets?: Yes, two cats

Do you want to change your name?: Not really. There’s a nice flow to it and I have gotten compliments of it and ofc I have told my mom about those times. XD <3 Sometimes I have thought of taking my third name as official one and I have thought of taking my mothers maiden name too but I don’t know. Maybe the combo could be my stage name~

What time did you wake up this morning?: at 8am, 11am and 1pm (my drunken sleep schedule and the body getting used to new medication)

What were you doing last night?: Tumblr and watching playthrough of Finding Paradise game. It’s pretty story and pretty game.

Name something you cannot wait for: Pate Mustajärvi solo concert in March, me healing and getting better and functioning like a actual human and surviving everyday life and I would like to graduate but I don’t know can I even finish the school etc.

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom?: There’s really not many people named Tom in Finland... So no. But if we are talking about the finnish versions of the name, then the answer is yes,

What’s getting on your nerves right now?: The biggest things getting on my nerves can be boiled down to “my depression lying and making things bigger than they are”. Also not being able to read fanfics to escape because there’s a disturbance with my concentration and cognitive skills because of the depression (greetings from my doctor). And I feel like bad reader and friend and shit like that etc because all of what comes with things like these. Overthinking. But hey, atleast I‘m aware of it and reasons behind it.

Blood Type: A+

Nickname: Potato

Relationship status: Single

Zodiac: Scorpio

Pronouns: She/Her, not minding if someone uses they/them, finnish hän (because there’s no gender pronouns).

Favorite Show: SPN, MacGyver (original), Lucifer, Doctor Who etc

College: I can’t ever remember what college is in finnish school system. College as university: yes, doing that from home, now on sick leave, studying “civic activity and youth work”, profession as community pedagog. Very new, large and mixed field.

Hair color: Brown

Do you have a crush on someone?: No (my fictional loves)

What do you like about yourself?: I don’t know at the moment. This was actually last question I answered. Um, I like that at the moment I have gain back my interest to art and writing and how I’m just having fun with it and learning and growing with it. Also my weird optimism that one day I can overcome this mental barrier I have; even in the very bad days just small voice coming through reminding me that I can survive, I have people helping me, I’m getting help and I have taken that step. It’s weird and small little voice but I like it. And no, I’m not hearing voices, just my brain and optimism and hope coming through. Also I like my hair and sometimes my face and sometimes even overall package.

Firsts

Surgery: Adenoids as a very small child

Piercing: Don’t have any. Maybe someday ears.

Sport you joined: Never did.

Vacation: I think I was under one year old when my parents took me to Estonia so...

Pair of sneakers: Can’t remember

Right Now

Eating: Nope but should eat soon

Drinking: The same juice as before (grape-apple-raspberry)

I’m about to: Watch/Listen some relaxing youtube videos and eat and maybe trying to sleep couple hours

Listening to: Mikael Saari - C’est la Vie. Kinda my mood at the moment and loving the sound too. I could put all the lyrics here but have a link to it. “C'est la vie, my friends! It will be alright! Let's be hungover tomorrow, and worry about that instead. C'est la vie, my friends! It will be just fine! She's gone by tomorrow, now fuck it all and goodbye.” “- - now all I need is time, and some wine, and all will be fine.”

Want Kids?: Sure but years from now

Get married?: If that happens, it happens

Career: I’m a student at sick leave, possible future community pedagog. Something to do with culture.

Which Is Better?

Lips or eyes: Eyes

Hugs or kisses: Both

Shorter or taller: Doesn’t matter

Romantic or spontaneous: Good balance of the two, maybe a bit more romantic

Sensitive or loud: Sensitive

Hook up or relationship: Relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant (troublemaker if the troublemaker is Gabe~ Although hesitant Gabriel...)

Have You Ever…

Kissed a stranger: No

Drank hard liquor: Yes

Lost contacts or glasses: Yes (and found later. Like that one time my other glasses were in the plant pot half buried because of our cats)

Sex on a first date: No

Broken someone’s heart: Only my own as far as I know

Been arrested: No

Turned someone down: Kinda with that construction worker

Fallen for a friend: Not romantically

Do You Believe In ___?

Yourself: I want to. Sometimes. There has been times. There will be times. I wish I can.

Miracles: There has been instances that made me believe in them. Sometimes it’s just miracle of humanity, heart and soul.

Love at first sight: Don’t know

Heaven: It’s complicated, in my own way yes

Santa Claus: As a good tradition and spirit that comes with it, yes. As someone literally coming to my house, no.

Tagging: @sumara62 @authoressskr  @nobodys-baby-now @be-fantastic @clockworkmorningglory @pizzamanteachings @fearthenatural @gallifreystands @thewhiterabbit42 and everyone who wants to do this