#also can we talk about how that photo of namjoon is a meme on its own 😂

[heyyouknowbts]

BTS as Florida man headlines, volume LVIII

BTS as Florida man masterlist

[1soos]

Wasting Time: Part Deux

type: slice of life, best friends to lovers, eventual smut

pairing: namjoon x reader

warnings/things to look for: there’s a moment where something homophobic could happen, but doesn’t. drug and alcohol use, cursing, eventual sex, movie and music references,   other than that this is some real soft 

length: 5.3k

summary: Namjoon is your best friend and that comes with a lot of perks and privileges.

a/n: it’s been the hottest minute, but here’s part 2. I do not have it in me to angst this up. Read part one here if you wanna.

Namjoon was gone when you woke up; the spare blanket he’d used in the night folded thoughtfully over the back of the couch. He’d cleared away the chicken containers and the beer bottles and moved the weed to the middle of the coffee table. His delicate care and thoughtfulness sits heavy in your chest, making you feel weird and wishing like hell that it didn’t.

You scoop your piece off the table and take a hit while you make your coffee. You don’t work at the boutique until noon and you aren’t scheduled for the park today, so you decide on a chill morning scrolling through memes on insta. You get stuck on a Raimi Spiderman thread, scrolling endlessly through screenshots of The Goth Dance Moment (^TM) when Lisa throws open the apartment door, the long strap of her purse getting caught on the handle. “I have been fucking for the past 7 hours. I need coffee.”

“Nice,” you say, genuinely impressed and point to the percolator.

Lisa throws her miniscule ‘going out’ purse (really the length of the handle is not proportionate to the actual size of the bag and the ridiculousness of it amuses you) to the floor and whispers, “bless,” as she downs half a cup in one go. She tops herself off and lowers herself gently into the chair across from you.

You sit in silence, every once in a while, turning your phone in her direction when you come across particularly relevant Baby Yoda memes. The moment is broken when Lisa groans dramatically and asks you if she’s on the schedule at the boutique like she’s suddenly remembering that she works there.

You tell her to pull up the spreadsheet that your boss sends to you a week in advance (truly the most organized woman you know) and Lisa tells you, “no.”

Instead of having it turn into A Thing, you open the schedule on your phone. You scan quickly for Lisa’s name color coded in bright blue. “You go in at 5,” you tell her. Kind of disappointed, but not surprised that Sunmi scheduled you in different time slots. Something about not having two crackhead, meme lords in one shift.

“Ugh, fuck. Okay, so I’m going to be dead until at least 4:45. Do not attempt to revive me or I will kill you.”

“That’s a lot of negative death imagery you’re using there.”

“I said what I said."

And like that, she disappears into her room and you’re left overthinking every tiny noise you make until you leave the apartment.

 …

 One of the things you love about working at the boutique is trying on the clothes. You do a dramatic turn in front of the tri-fold mirror and strike a pose while the extremely see-through, sparkly, tulle skirt shifts around you.

Your co-worker, Bambam, stands behind you, switching between gassing you up and, “wow that skirt does nothing for you. Take it off; I’m gonna try it on.”

“Rude.” You work the elastic of the waistband down over your hips, careful to avoid taking your leggings off with it, and throw the skirt at his head. The fabric muffling the curses he shoots your way. The bell above the shop door chimes, announcing the presence of a potential customer so you leave Bambam to figure his own way out of the mess of tulle.

You put on your best ‘I work in retail and get paid on commission’ smile. “Good afternoon! Welcome to Siren’s! Please let me know if there’s anything I can help you find.” The woman smiles good naturedly back at you and says she’s just looking. She already has some shopping bags loaded up her arms, so you’re feeling pretty good about a sale and place yourself equidistant between her and the cash register while eyeing Bambam over in the corner still struggling with the skirt.

The bell goes off again, to your surprise as there is hardly ever more than one person in at a time.

“Joon?” His presence shocks you and for a moment, you forget about last night. The smile that jumps out is too real; genuine joy filling you up and spilling out. He looks slightly stunned himself.

“What are you up to?” he asks, and you look around at the over-priced clothes all around you and then back to him a little confused.

“Working?”

He blushes and your chest hurts. “Ah, I mean, do you have plans for lunch? Um, I think we need to talk.”

Your stomach feels like its going to fall out of your ass and your thoughts spin around and take off like Road Runner.

Beep beep, bitch.

He wants to tell you how weird last night was. There is this horrible feeling that persists; that he knows how you feel and now he’s uncomfortable. He’s probably going to tell you that he doesn’t see you That Way and that you should just continue being friends. Which is fine; you can take that and so could your friendship. Besides, you haven’t really had the time to examine your feelings for him past the fact that he’s your best friend whom you also might want to kiss right now (and constantly) because he’s being awkward and it’s unfortunately adorable. And that you’re scared, kind of. Whatever is going on between you feels major; like, life altering. You feel a duty to yourself and Namjoon to handle the situation with care, so yeah, you think that talking would probably be good.

You smile again at him, more weighted this time and softly say, “okay.”

Caught in your own feelings, you don’t notice Bambam gliding over to you both.

“Knew it would look better on me.” The fabric flutters beautifully around him though he stopped walking several moments before and you have to admit that it does give him the ethereal look that you were hoping to achieve. You nod, conceding the point.

You subtly try to will him away, but his eyes focus on Namjoon. You can see the moment that Bam recognizes him. Bam doesn’t really run in the same group as Namjoon, but there are a few mutual friends and enough shared drunken moments for him to say hi.

“Woah, Namjoon! What’s up, man? I haven’t seen you since Jackson’s.” Bam wiggles his eyes, dramatically suggestive, making you wonder exactly what happened at Jackson’s.

Namjoon’s eyes go wide and he responds quickly. “Nothing much. Just working. You?”

Bam shrugs and gestures around the boutique. Your eyes follow his hands and you notice that the customer is looking at the skirt that Bambam has on and you really do hope it’s because she wants to buy it. “Did I overhear that you’re going to take this one,”—he points at you and you give an annoyed ‘hey’— “to lunch?”

“Trying to anyway.”

“I forgot about Bam,”—“rude!”—"I don’t want to leave him to work alone.” Bambam once again looks around the almost empty store and then back with an incredulous look at you and a pitying one at Namjoon.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” the woman says, but doesn’t actually look very sorry at all. The way she’s eyeing Bambam looks like she’s about to say some shit about the skirt. Your eyes find Bam’s, but he looks ready to do battle. Your adrenaline kicks up a notch and you prepare to throw this expensive looking woman out on her ass if she tries to pull any bullshit. “I noticed you wearing this skirt.” You stop breathing and Bambam goes very still. You fist your hand into the back of his shirt to let him know you’re there, barely registering that Namjoon has placed his hand in the middle of your back in much the same manner. “And I just wanted to say, it looks so good on you! You have a really interesting look. Do you model?”

The collective anxiety that the three of you felt leeches away almost at once. You sag back against Namjoon and he rubs your back. Bambam lights up and tells the woman, “I’ve walked a few runways.” Liar. The most he’d done was a photo shoot for one of those coupon books that goes in the middle of the Sunday paper.

The woman smiles. “Well, if you’d like to walk a few more,” she trails off and hands Bam her card. He raises his eyebrows at the name written there. “Do you have some time right now to talk?”

“Yes!” You interject. “He does. He was just about to go on break.” The woman and Bambam look pleased and as they head out the door, Bam turns, eyes wide and sparkling, and mouths ‘thank you.’

The door chimes shut behind them and you sigh, leaning even further onto Namjoon for a moment, your body giving in to the comfort it wants before your brain reminds you that you shouldn’t be taking advantage. You step away from him and immediately feel colder.

You cough awkwardly and immediately cringe. “Sorry about lunch.”

He smiles down at you and tells you not to worry about it. “I’ve got a plan b. Be right back.”

He drags his hand down your arm as a parting gesture and you try really hard to suppress the shiver that the small act sends through you.

…

While Namjoon is gone, your only customers are two women. One model tall and the other almost a head shorter, holding hands and smiling at each other.

After giving your standard “Welcome to Siren’s” speech, they tell you that their looking for party clothes, you take them to the rack with sparkly dresses and tailored pants and ask them to let you know if they need anything before giving them space.

They go through the rack; the tall woman, seeming to have more fun looking at the clothes than the other who had her clothes picked out in under 5 minutes, balks at the price of a bright sequined number that she had been considering. The other woman places her hand at the small of her back. You can only just hear her ask in a low voice, “do you like it?”

The woman takes a long look at the dress, running her fingers across the sequins. After a moment of consideration, she nods, and the shorter woman takes the dress from her and puts it over her arm where the clothes she’s chosen for herself lay.

They come up to you at the counter and the short woman smiles at you, “just these, thank you.”

You ring up the clothes and give the total. The tall woman looks embarrassed while the other pays with a matte black credit card.

You hand over the bag and tell them to have a good rest of their day and to come back anytime; giving them a genuine smile that most patrons do not get from you.

As they exit, the taller woman says, “I’ll pay you back.”

The other shrugs and says, “okay,” and taps her finger to her pouted lips.

“That’s not what I meant,” she grouses, but the woman pouts harder and taps her lips again. There is an audible sigh and the tall woman leans down and presses a short, sweet kiss into the other’s lips.

They leave and the bell above the door doesn’t ring again until it’s Namjoon that’s coming through it. His dimples pop out as he drops the bag of food onto the counter. The smell hits you and you already know that he’s gone to the Indian restaurant down the street.

“Please tell me that there’s aloo gobi in here,” you say, even as you’re digging through the knotted bag and the excess of napkins that cover the takeout boxes. “Yes!” you exclaim when you open the top container and find the curry dish inside. There’s a brief moment where you wonder if it’s too hot outside to eat something so heavy, but you forget to care, placing your face directly into the Styrofoam container. “You really know me,” you intone dramatically through a comforting mouth full of potatoes and cauliflower.

He huffs, “yeah, I do,” through his own mouthful of what looks like vindaloo.

“What do I owe you?” and even as you ask, your mind supplies a pouty Namjoon asking cutely for a kiss and you flush, eyes almost watering with how much your body craves that contact.

He waves his hand that holds the fork around, brushing away your question, “I was the one who asked. You don’t owe me anything.”

Your brain must short circuit because the words that come out of your mouth cannot be stopped, “But what if I want to owe you something?”

“Are you really about to fight me over, like, eight dollars?”

You stare intently at your food, separating the cauliflower from the potatoes rather than answer.

“Hey,” he says, trying to get your attention. You look up and his eyebrows are scrunched, and lips pursed, an overall confused Namjoon. So fucking cute, lord help you. He looks like his brain is working overtime, but he keeps his mouth shut until he’s chosen what he wants to say. Completely the opposite of you and a quality of his that you usually admire, you really should take a page or two out of his book, but right now you’re on tender hooks waiting for what comes next.

He un-scrunches and looks at you, “What exactly do you want to owe me?”

“I don’t know,” you skirt.

“Hmm.” He stares at you like he’s trying to decipher your soul. It’s…intense.

He looks so serious; it’s intimidating and so much of you doesn’t want to give away your feelings even though you’ve already hyped yourself up to do just that. And no matter how much you want to shut down and deflect, you owe it to yourself and to him to be honest.

You set down your fork and swallow your food. “Okay, so please keep in mind that you’re my best friend in the entire world and you matter more to me than my own feelings.” He straightens up and opens his mouth to say something, but you put up your hand to stop him. “I don’t think I’ll be able to do this if I don’t get it all out in one go.” He nods tightly. “I guess I’ll start with the obvious,” you take a deep breath and looks down at your hands knotting and twisting together in a physical manifestation of your anxiety, “I like you. Not in a platonic way. I like you like I’ve had to stop myself from wanting to kiss you at least 3 times in the last hour. I like you like I want to hold your hand and tell you you’re cute when you’re being cute; like I want you to sleep in bed next to me and not on the couch when you stay over. I like you so much that I’ve been trying really hard not to notice it, but I think that last night changed something between us and I think that you noticed too and that’s why you wanted to have lunch with me today.

If that’s not the reason and you wanted to talk to me about something else and you don’t like me the way I like you, I will be really fucking embarrassed, but that’s okay. I can deal with my own feelings, okay?” You stop because you don’t think you can say anymore without accidentally making yourself cry.

“My turn?” he asks after a few moments of silence. You nod and brace yourself. “You said that you wanted to kiss me?” You nod again, daring to look up at him, wanting to see his face even if it might break you. He considers your confirmation. “Something did change last night. I think, that for me, it was the hope that you saw me as something more than a buddy to kick around with because I more than like you.” And then, it’s the way that he breathes out your name that makes a tear slip out and down your cheek. He says it with so much care that you can feel it.

Food forgotten, you move around the counter and into his space, wrapping your arms around his middle and squeezing tightly. “I more than like you,” you say with your face smushed into the warmth of his chest.

His hands come up to frame your face and guides you to look up at him. “When did you want to kiss me?” he asks, and you let out a wet laugh.

“Right now.” You tap your lips and pout and he laughs too, but he leans down and presses his lips to yours. Your eyes close after a moment; he’s too close for you to see properly anyway. It a sweet first kiss, mouths opening just a little, testing boundaries that have been in place for so long that it feels strange to be kissing him.

You’re kissing Namjoon.

You confessed and he likes you back and now you’re kissing and it’s weird, but nice and you feel like you’re going to explode you’re so happy.

You go up on your tiptoes to press more firmly into him and he presses his hands into the small of your back, helping you arch yourself closer. You can feel the difference between your bodies, the plush give of yours to the hard planes of his and all you can think is, “Does this mean I can see your tattoos?” you say against his mouth, words coming out slurred as your lips catch against his, and tug on his shirt so he gets your meaning.

“Baby,” he warns with a smile, and you close your eyes at the pet name, but it makes you remember that, while the store may be empty currently, you are still in public and actually on the clock. “You can look at whatever you like for as long as you like.”

You hide your face in his neck and wonder if he can feel your smile against his skin. You drop a kiss there, at his collar bone because now you can. “I’m really happy. You make me happy.”

He taps your shoulder to get you to look at him. He kisses you softly, barely anything at all and it makes you unsteady. “Always.” The implication of forever makes you want to fall apart in his arms; you want him to make you feel the weight of his forever which is kind of embarrassing. You note that Namjoon Kim makes you disgustingly sentimental.

“Shut up,” you mumble, face red.

“Cute.”

You smack his side until his grip loosens and you’re really looking at each other. “You need to go before I get in trouble.”

He pouts and it’s just so fucking adorable. It’s emotional terrorism is what it is. “Is this how it’s going to be?”

You take your pointer finger and push his lower lip in toward his teeth. “Yeah, I wasn’t allowed to kiss you before, so.”

He smiles and your finger hits his teeth before he grabs that hand and manipulates it into holding his. “You were always allowed; you just didn’t know it.”

You let out an undignified screech and he laughs. “You gotta go, for real.”

He concedes, but not without stealing another kiss. “I’ll see you tonight? I don’t want to wait until tomorrow. I think we still need to talk about some things.”

“Your place?” you ask.

“Yeah,” he agrees as he backs his way through the doors, eyes on you, smiling like an idiot, but you know you are too, the bell chiming as he exits.

…

Bam makes it back before the end of your shift, coming in with a big shit-eating grin on his face. He’s landed an actual modeling gig for an actual brand that you’ve actually heard of and you couldn’t be happier for him.

You part ways at the end of your shift, trading the guard with Lisa and Chung-ha. Lisa slips you some fresh Star Wars prequel memes and you drop that there’s some Indian food up for grabs in the communal fridge.

You don’t say anything about Namjoon. The knowledge your talk brought this afternoon sits so warm and comfortable in your chest you feel like you’re glowing, and you need to keep that cheesy ass sentimental shit to yourself. You can’t stop yourself from wondering about the reactions from your friend group, though. You would think that they’d mostly be positive considering how many times you’d been asked if the two of you were secretly dating.

Damn. Hindsight really is 20/20.

Heading over to his place is different than usual; your stomach full of nervous butterflies. Which is gross and wonderful at the same time. The fact that you could get used to kissing him and being with him the way you want to is so absurd and fantastic that just the thought of being next to him carries you all the way to his apartment.

Even knocking on his door borders bizarre. He opens the door and seeing his face opens you up.

The amount of smiling both of you have done today is obscene—it really is destroying your Bad Bitch persona— but you can’t stop your mouth from turning up, cheeks pushing your eyes almost closed. The good news is Namjoon looks just about the same as he ushers you into the same apartment you’ve visited a million times before.

Once you stop smiling, the anxiety that follows you into new situations starts to pool out from your stomach. You clench your hands together and squeeze, knowing what you want to do with them, but not sure if you should.

“Hi,” he says, stirring the quiet. He reaches his hand out to you, fingers spread in invitation. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding and link your fingers with his. It feels weird, but good to squeeze his hand instead of your own.

He leads you over to the couch. He sits first and then you, making sure that there’s a respectable amount of space between you.

Both of you are facing forward, only chancing glances at each other every so often. The awkward silence between you stretches until you can’t take it anymore; feeling like it’s your fault, or rather your duty, to fill the silence.

“So,” you say and trail off. A strong start. “You said we should talk, and I think that’s a good idea.”

He nods but doesn’t add anything.

“It’s kind of strange, right? We’re transitioning from one thing that we’ve been for a really long time, into another, so it’s weird?” He uses his other hand to play with your intwined fingers while you speak, and it distracts you from your nerves. “It feels like it’s happening really fast and like I got so comfortable with the idea of us being more than best friends so quickly and that’s the weird part?” You kind of hate that everything is coming out like a question. You want to say things with certainty, but, fuck, if it wasn’t difficult.

“I think it would help me to know what you’re thinking about all of this,” you finish.

Your hands jostle between you as he shifts his body to look at you. His eyes like magnets, pulling you to mirror his posture; leg tucked under you and fully facing each other.

“It’s weird, but I like it.” It’s your turn to nod, communicating that you feel the same and want him to continue. “I think it’s something that I’ve spent more time thinking about than you. I was fine with how things were, but I’d hoped that we could be more for a while.”

You held his gaze for as long as you could before staring down at both of your hands. Yours almost completely dwarfed by his; long, inked, and beautiful. You think about yesterday, when you were high and tracing his tattoos and how you had no idea that less than 24 hours later you would be holding his hand without needing an excuse.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” He asks as you bring his hand up to your lips.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t- “you stop because you were going to say that you didn’t know he felt this way, but you’re not sure if that’s true and that just makes you feel worse. You start again. “I’m sorry that I didn’t do anything about it. I’m not sure that I didn’t know that you had feelings, you know? And I’m even more sorry that I ignored the way I feel about you for so long. And I’m scared, but I can’t ignore this,” you shake your tangled hands between you. “I’m sorry you had to wait for me.”

He kisses the corner of your mouth quickly, smiling as he draws back. “I have to apologize for doing the same thing then. I didn’t know your feelings for sure and we’ve always been really close, so it was hard. I had to convince myself that every touch and smile and moment that we got too close was just how we were as friends. But I’m not sure that I didn’t know that you had feelings, either. I think we’re both afraid of the same thing. That things will change; that we’ll be different with each other and we won’t work.

I can’t say that won’t happen because nothing is certain, but I know you and I know us. I think we’ll be okay.”

“God, I really like you.”

Namjoon laughs happily and somehow over the next few moments manhandles you onto his lap. Your arms come naturally around his shoulders just as his go around your waist.

The kiss that comes next feels more reckless than the mini make-out session in Siren’s. You know from the moment he teases your mouth open and slides his tongue in to taste you that you’re his. Every swipe of his tongue feels like a brand making you melt into him.

You break the searing kiss to scoot forward in his lap, pressing yourself against him hip to chest. You wiggle and wish that you could help the gasp that escapes you when you feel him. He’s not even fully hard and you already know that he’s going to be a lot for you to handle. The thought of him inside you, stretching you to your limit, filling you up like you deserve, makes you shy.

You tuck your face into the curve of his neck to hide your rising blush and the want in your eyes.

“Talk to me, baby. What’s going through that head of yours?” He asks, mouth pressed to the top of your head.

You groan and move your hips to try and make it clear what’s going through your head, so you don’t have to say it out loud. The feeling of your underwear moving uncomfortably against your slick folds sending another round of blood to your already heated cheeks. You’re so worked up already and it’s embarrassing. Which seems to be the fucking theme of your life right now. But his hands on your hips tighten, stopping all movement.

You whine and try to move, but his grip is strong. Flitting thoughts of him holding you down with the same strength in his tattooed arms are enough to make you try again for any friction.

And again, he stops you.

“Hey,” he whispers. “I need you to talk to me.”

You lean back and see the tension on his face, the softness that’s usually there, sharpened and dark. A look that you’re not familiar with. You’re struck by how fast this is going. How quickly you went from oblivious to this moment, dry humping your best friend (your boyfriend?).

You feel needy, the unbridled want coursing through you and the ocean in your panties is evidence enough of that but is it too soon to make this jump from platonic to…decidedly not platonic?

Namjoon waits in silence for you to speak. Always handling you with care.

You frame his face with your hands, rubbing the apples of his cheeks with your thumbs. “I’m scared that if we talk about what we’re about to do, we’ll realize that we’re going too fast.”

“Are we?” he asks with real concern, pushing you further down his hips, away from his heat.

“I don’t know,” you say, pouting. For fuck’s sake. You don’t want to have to dissect every move you two make. It doesn’t feel wrong, just weird. “I know that I want you, but if it’s too soon, I can wait until it’s not so odd.” And as much as you don’t want to, you know that you will because, “You’re worth waiting for, Joonie.”

He hugs you and it’s nice. It feels comfortable; not sexually charged, but beautiful. You can feel yourself calming down, the moment of intense need fading into something softer.

“I do want you. I’ve wanted you for a long time. I just- I feel like this is a big step and maybe we should think about it.”

You sigh and kiss him quickly twice before hoping off his lap. “Okay, do you want to watch a movie?”

He smiles and agrees easily.

You shift in your seat and remember the slick between your thighs. “Pick a movie while I change?”

“Sure. Any requests?”

“Not Leon,” he scoffs, and you feel the familiarity of your dynamic. You slip into his room and rifle through his drawers for a pair of sweatpants and band t-shirt before going to his bathroom to clean yourself up.

When you emerge, clean and comfy, the main menu for Howl’s Moving Castle is pulled up on the TV. Namjoon is lying across the couch on his side with enough space for you to be little spoon. You feel giddy at his choice of movie, your favorite, and his choice of position. Even though sex is not on the table tonight, you feel the thoughtful intimacy in his deliberateness.

“Hey baby,” he says when he notices you watching him. You marvel at how quickly he fell into calling you the pet name and how quickly you’ve taken to hearing it. Maybe you should pick one for him, too.

You press play and the subtitle button until you see brackets down at the bottom explaining that title music is playing. It’s how Joon likes to watch movies and you’ve watched enough movies with him at this point to prefer it as well.

He pats the empty space in front of him and you go, pushing yourself against him in a different way that still had your heart soaring. You put your head on his bicep and he cages you in, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and the other around your middle so there’s no danger of you falling off. You shove your legs back to tangle with his and settle in.

Neither one of you says anything until Namjoon says, “that’s my girl,” in synch with Howl and you shiver. You had never been quiet about your crush on Howl or about how hot you found those words.

You turn your head slightly and glare at him. “Are you trying to seduce me with the greatest movie of all time?”

He honest to god smirks and says, “I’ve always wanted to say it to you. And now you are my girl, so I’m not not going to say it.”

“Oh.” He watches you fidget and turn pink.

“Cute,” he says, kisses your burning cheek.

masterlist

a/n: Kim Namjoon cured my two year long writer’s block.

[belshka]

Complex // JJK (1)

January 16 2019

(y/n)’s POV

The clock strikes 7:00 PM. The soundcheck raffle announcement will be out soon. Why am I so excited? I must have saved the entire planet in my previous life if I got the soundcheck pass. Who am I kidding, the chance is 1 out of what, 35000? This is insane. No, this is madness. This is BTS.

It pops! The announcement post is here! My hands are cold. I saw my section, and.

And my ticket number.

My ticket number.

Should I scream? Shout? Faint? No, I take a seat on my couch. Just sit there, for 5 minutes straight, before I am able to call my friend, to break the news.

January 19 2019

This is it.

I walk into the venue, I can see the stage, and the Love Yourself World Tour banner. This is so unreal. This is massive. In just a matter of minutes I will finally see them! My heart hurts, my stomach hurts, my head hurts, yet I’m numb?

Fuck! I can hear Namjoon says hello from the stage followed by all the screams. As they walk to the extended stage where most of the soundcheck will be, I can’t help but to be mesmerized by every one of them. They’re legit god. Any arguments are invalid. I don’t know how long I’ve been zoning out until a hand shakes my shoulder from behind. “Hey are you okay? Do you need water? The security have water, I can ask for you?” Says a girl behind me. “Oh! Yes yes I’m totally fine, thanks though!” I smile back at her and bring my eyes back to the stage. Have I told you how good Jimin looks? Cause boy he looks so damn good, I actually forgot that my baby is Jungkook. They’re all my babies don’t get me wrong, even when I’m younger than the youngest but they’re still my babies. It’s been all fun and crazy how I’m able to see them like this, without make up, without the fancy clothes (although their casual clothes are still fancy). Until I notice HIM. Jungkook, with his huge ass camera, right in my direction. I -

Wait, why there is a sound of bell ringing? Am I being delusional?

Wow, I think Jungkook’s camera caught my confused and shooked face. I surely will be a meme in the BTS group chat. I try to push the weird feelings aside. You see this is weird, there is no such thing as soulmate bells or red string stuffs, or matching tattoos. I have been reading too much of fan fiction this is driving me crazy. The soundcheck ends and we are all being ushered to get back to our actual queue for the actual concert. I am so so speechless because come on, I just saw BTS! And probably gotta end up being a meme in their group chat. As I walk to find my friends, all I can think of is to call my sister, she’s also queueing but kinda far from me and my friends. “Hello?” “Oh my god, hahaha the stage is super super huge, and fuck!!! They are all so hot, sis omg, this is so unreal, I cant even believe my own eyes!” (I can’t believe my ears either) “Hahaha you had fun?” “Yes! Of course, where are you? Queuing already?” “Yup” “Okay then, I’ll see you inside!” The call ended as I spot my friends. I tell them everything, except my delulu self that heard the bell rings.

Jungkook’s POV

Another concert, another fun day. I can’t wait to see ARMY! Although I am tired from all the practices and flights, but I live for this, for the thrill, most importantly for those smiles. That I surely know are made for us, and because of us. In just a couple minutes I have to go up the stage for a short soundcheck, this is my favorite part of all because I can see them very clearly, the soundcheck was our idea, it is more intimate, although it seems unfair for those who’re not here, but this is the least we can do to get closer to our lovely ARMY. As Namjoon Hyung says hello, the crowd screams back, and I can already feel my lips forming a huge huge smile just knowing that they are here for us. I have my camera with me during every soundcheck, I feel like I have to capture every moment so I wont forget any details. The soundcheck goes well as usual, Hoseok hyung is having a little talk with ARMY as I shoot a video of him, then I move my camera to the crowd. I -

I hear the sound of bell ringing! What?! I cannot help but to find those eyes, and I finally found them, looking straight into my direction. She looks so confused, yet so beautiful. I bet she knows, I just hope she won’t go crazy. But, she closes her eyes and shakes her head. As if she does not want to believe it. I keep my eyes on her for awhile, my camera still recording her area, but I know for sure I have it zoomed in to her. She looks away first. She doesn’t believe in soulmates. I can see her head down for awhile, but I try my best not to look so obvious because I have been taught how to act if by any craziest chance I will find my soulmate like this. Which is to pretend it did not happened. To stay normal. But is it normal to ignore the existence of your soulmate? How soulmate works is weird, I don’t think the world notice it but when it comes to soulmate, you’ll never know. Every body has one, but the process is different, I don’t know about others, but surely mine is the bell.

We’re back at the waiting room, to get everything done, the make up, the script, the hair, outfits, and all. But I am still stuck. Starstruck? Is that the word? I never thought that my soulmate will be a foreigner? And an ARMY? Yes, ARMY. It feels like I’m living the best life. But also the saddest and tragic one, because I can do nothing. In this line of work, I have to stay like this. To give the best out of me. To sacrifice things. I hope in the end it will be worth the wait and sacrifice. “Jungkookieeeeeeeeeeee, why are you so saddddd?” Jin hyung asks from the couch while having his food. “Nothing hyunggggggg, just sleepy” I say as I walk into his direction and take a seat beside him. “Yah, be honest. Are you really sleepy or you found the one?” Jin hyung whispers. I can only look him in his eyes and hoping that he can read me. “Ayeeee I knew it. Which section?” He asks again. “Right side.” “Our right side or their right side?” “Ours.”

During the opening speech I try so hard to spot her, but I cant. The lights are blinding, and the size of the venue is not helping at all. I keep taking off my in ear just to talk to Jin hyung, praying that maybe he can help me spot her. As we’re about to sing Magic Shop, this is my chance to actually look for her in the pit so I walk slowly to the right stage while scanning the crowd, and I almost burst out laughing because I can see her running from nowhere into the back barricade. She’s something else. I look at her few seconds and I can see her very clearly because she is just by the barricade with her Army Bomb and her phone obviously recording ME. So I took my chance to go a little closer and I can see her friend slaps her right arm and screams something that I can’t really hear. But she’s unbothered. She’s so focus that I can tell her phone is not recording properly. Gosh she’s so funny, I can’t help but let a small giggle out while I shake my head, and walk back to the main stage. I can see her during Euphoria, I can’t really focus. She does not has her phone, I don’t know if she’s crying or not but she is standing in between her friends who are hugging her. It’s a beautiful view. Euphoria is the last time I saw her. Jin hyung spotted her during medley and Run. I’m so desperate to see her, this is my last chance. I keep on getting to the right side of the stage just to find her, until Anpanman, I can see her! I CAN SEE HER! I am so excited I can not contain my smile, I keep on dancing and hanging around the area. Last, it hits me during the closing, Answer : Love Myself, I have my in ear off and just so sad that this may be my last time seeing her. I try fight back my tears, I don’t think I sing properly, I hope no one notice. As we all walk back to the main stage, I look everywhere in her section hoping that I can see her for the last last time, shit I can’t see her. After the final bow I still give it a try, I walk a little bit to the extended stage but I still can not find her. I give up, giving my last smile before I walk off stage. And there my tears fall freely, I sit by the stairs to calm myself down because this is all too much, I have to fly to another country, leaving her, without any information. Without her knowing that I am her soulmate. My heart breaks even more, until Jimin hyung come to me and comfort me. He is truly the fairy. “Its okay Jungkookieeee, the chance will come sooner or later. You are soulmate, you’ll end up with each other. So don’t worry okay, you’ll find her. We will find her. Okay? Don’t cry, besides you did very good today!”  All I can do is to let out some sniffles as we both walk back to the waiting room to meet the others for concert photo.

(y/n)’s POV

The pit is crazy, I decided to stay at the back so it will be easier for me to run around to wherever Jungkook is heading. Bitch be running wherever her bias is heading, that bitch is me. Oh fuck, this is my song. Magic Shop, I literally scream each and every word out of my lungs. When I realize where Jungkook is heading, I literally run for my life to the back barricade and thank God it’s still empty. His legs ugh, he is sweating like crazy it makes him glow even more. I have my useless Army Bomb with me, and my phone, trying to record and capture Jungkook as much as I can because who knows, this may be my first and last. But luck was not on my side, I forgot to press record. I cannot scream, but Jungkook is too close, he is too close and my friend fucking slapped my arm. I could not careless all I see is him, too close, too close. Jesus bless my pure soul cause Jungkook just giggled? Why is he so funny.

Before the concert, days before the concert. I did my research very well, I know the whole setlist and where will they perform it. The stage and all so I know right after Just Dance, will be Euphoria at the main stage. I kinda make my way towards the stage with my two friends. “hey (y/f/n), can you please record the whole performance because I don’t think I can record it..” With that being said, the lights dim a little and I can hear the intro. I got goosebumps all over my body, I can’t believe that I finally able to see it live. Woah my body will collapse soon, my tears start to fall very quick. My friends notice and laugh but they have me in between them. Most of the time I stay at the back because I want to focus on the performance, plus I’m super tired I have not eaten anything yet today so I was at the back with water from the security. But I gained my energy back during medley and encore. Anpanman! Oh my god, I can see Jungkook again! Very clear because he is always on our side. I recorded his little cute dance. The 2 hours concert feels like a minute, they are at the extended stage for Answer : Love Myself, but boy is holding back tears. I feel a pang in my heart, and my lungs are lacking of oxygen. It hurts, my eyes are burning. I know this song will always have that effect on me but I don’t know that it will be like this. They walk back to the main stage for the final final bow, I smile through my tears and when the lights bout to turn off, Jungkook walk back a little for another goodbye while scanning through the crowd. This boy, he loves army that much. He smiles before it turns completely dark and the lights back without the boys on stage. I stay for some pictures with my friends, and my sister.

I say nothing about my weird feelings and the sound of the bell cause what kind of a crazy and delusional fan am I. So while waiting for the crowd to die down a little, I sit on the grass outside the venue while looking through my videos briefly, talking about the concert. The crowd somewhere goes crazy because apparently BTS is leaving for their hotel, but I could not careless because heck I’ve spent my entire day standing and waiting, I need to sit and rest my legs. And my crazy heart.

January 20 2019

Jungkook’s POV

Today is my last day here and I have no chance to explore because I have to fly back to Seoul.

(y/n)’s POV

Today is my last day here, I explore and shop a bit at the city before heading to the airport because I have to fly back home. Thank you (country), for the unforgettable night.

[heungtanbts]

omg girl plz post your drafts on what you want to say to the boys!!

If you were able to sit and talk to each member what would you tell them? And yes. I am purposely asking this so you could get all sappy and die of the good feels 😊

this has been sitting in my drafts for a g e s now. i challenged myself to write only 7 sentences to each member, but still somehow managed to carried away with this. welp here goes nothing. aka warning, looong post ahead.

to namjoon:

you are a great leader because you are understanding, empathetic, a good listener, and truly caring of those that you lead, and please don’t letanyone, including yourself, ever make you think you’re not a worthy leader. you are the most beautiful man, namjoon; your heart is just so big, your thoughtsso deep and profound, you put others before yourself and think deeply about how your words, actions, and decisions will affect others. you are incrediblyhumble, so willing to reflect and admit your own mistakes, and are not afraid to apologize or come clean when it comes to it and the way you own up to your responsibilities is amazing. It must be so much pressure to have to say and do the right things all the time, especially with so many eyes watching andjudging, and yet you lead with such confidence and humility and i just don’t know if you really understand just how incredible you are. thank you for beingso real with us, for sharing your experiences and your heart with the world through your music just so one more person can relate, feel understood and findhealing, and for helping shape bangtan to become what it is today. you’re so down to earth, goofy, adorably clumsy, passionate about blue crabs, aneffortless fashion king, a lyrical genius and poet, charismatically captivating on stage, and like ARMY’s older reliable brother. thank you for teaching us to love ourselves, but don’t you ever forget that YOU ARE SO LOVED and that we will stand behind you no matter what because you are our one and only, precious kim namjoon.  

to jin: 

thank you for being the confident dorky older brother of bangtan that lights up any room and situation with his silly antics and contagious laughter. you may be giving jungkook a run for his money and title as bangtan’s maknae, but you are also so incredibly reliable, cool, calm and collected when necessary, and a true solid foundation for bangtan to be built upon. you’ve taught us all to throw away our insecurities and care for others opinions, and to just be ourselves. i know you go through a lot behind the scenes that no one sees, that you’re shyer than we think, more burdened than it seems, and notalways the happy, hilarious meme you most often portray yourself to be. and i just hope you know that your laughter, your antics, your love for the othermembers, and your decision to always see things on the bright side has truly brought so much joy and comfort for me and other ARMYs. you truly are mr.worldwide handsome, not just because of you literally are prince charming, but also because of how wonderful and genuine your heart is for others and for your fans. thank you for being yourself, keeping bts solid on their feet by being a firm foundation, shining in all your talents (you are so wonderful at singing,dancing, acting, variety, everything!!), and reminding us to live life optimistically and to enjoy it. 

to yoongi: 

thank you for choosing to sign with bighit and become a part of bts,even though you were so wrongly tricked by bang pd (ㅋㅋㅋ) because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here, spilling your blood, sweat, and tears into new songs and albums that aren’t just products, but that truly speak about you, your emotions, your experiences and your life. thank you for being so real with all of us and for not shying away from the issue of mental health, because i know that alone has brought many ARMYs so much comfort and hope. thank you for caring so deeply about all the members in your tsundere ways; they absolutely live to see you smile and make you laugh and i hope you know that (actually, we all do). you truly are the dad of bts, not in a bad way, but because you are so steady, you always provide for your members, quietly clean up after their messes without complaint, and care so personally about the growth and well-being of each member. i know you’ve lived a tough life, and you’ve been so open about your struggles while growing up and getting to this point, but i hope you feel that it was all worth it because now you connecting with the world in the universal language that is music and making history just by being yourself. never ever forget that you are so wonderful, your gummy smile and random bouts of hyperness are so endearing, your pure talent and ability to convey so much emotion into lyrics is inspiring, your rawness is so real and comforting, your ability to feel and care so deeply is inspiring, and you truly have changed all of our lives. please take care of yourself, don’t be too hard on yourself, make sure you eat and sleep enough, and know that we are going through this thing we can “life” with you, one day at a time.

to hoseok: 

to our sunshine, our angel and hope, the one with the most contagious laugh and brilliant smile, thank you for existing. i know there were days in the earlier times where people didn’t even recognize or think of you as a part of bts, and those times hurt, knowing that people looked down on you like that and i’m so sorry you had to go through that. but thank you for enduring it, staying true to yourself, never allowing it all to suffocate your wonderful laughter and light, and for loving ARMYs continuously through it all. you arebangtan’s strong pillar, hoseok-ah, you go through so much behind that beautiful smile of yours, endure so much, but never ever complain or show it. you are so strong, not because you hide your struggles, but because you choose to continue to smile, to work hard, to push through and focus on the light atthe end of the tunnel. you’ve always been goofy, but i don’t know if you realize just how much you make your members and us laugh, how much contagioushappiness you bring all of us, and how you can make someone’s day so effortlessly just by being yourself. and i hope you know that no matter how much you want to improve or do better, which is always a great thing, you are ALWAYS good enough because you are you, and you are so lovable and hardworking, and wesee your efforts and growth and appreciate you. thank you for keeping a sound and level head on for each of the members, for lovingly providing feedback andcorrections, and for working so hard for the greater good of the team and for the world. so just as you have taught us, just keep going, keep just being yourloving and talented self, keep showcasing that bright smile and melodious laughter, and remember always that you are worth it. 

to jimin: 

our chimmy, our golden hearted angel, thank you for being so gentle, genuine, loving and caring. you have also been through so much, from the early days when you felt insecure about your weight and image, to training so hard to improve your vocal and dance skills because you didn’t feel like you were enough, to ignoring all the negativity and even death threats from some horrible, horrible people. i’m so sorry such darkness like that exists in this world, but i hope you know that when we see you, all we see is a hardworking, talented, yet so kind hearted and wonderful person who wants to spread love and happiness to everyone. you have such an incredible ability to hold bts together like glue; your loving actions, genuine concern for all your members, and just your desire to want to be with your members all the time truly shows just how much you care. i love that over time, it seems as though you’ve come to love yourself more, for all your strengths and weaknesses, and i hope you never ever let that go because that’s what makes you, you - the you that we just want to hug and cuddle and love upon because you are just so precious! i hope you’ll love your body, eat enough, sleep enough, rest enough, and remind yourself that YOU are enough, and that you’ll continue to grow and flourish as a musician, a performer, and person. you are so beautiful inside and our, jimin-ah, and i hope you know that your heart of gold inspires people every day.

to taehyung:

precious taehyungie, so full of life, so mesmerized by the beauty of nature, completely unafraid of people’s opinions and a true form of radiating happiness. you are so gifted, not just in your superb acting, singing, and performance skills, but also in your ability to be the physical embodiment of a hug - warm, comforting, peaceful and utterly joy-inducing. you express beauty through fashion, your wonderful photography, your unique and adorable displays of affection, your sometimes jumbled but oh so heartfelt words, and through your love for us and your members. thank you for showing us just how important and beautiful family is – and not just related family, but your bangtan and ARMY family. you make us all smile, including your members, and i’m so glad you don’t seem to care enough about what the world thinks because the way you’re so unapologetically you is motivation enough for us to care less about what others think, and more about being ourselves and living life to its fullest. i know you’ve hit tough times, like almost not getting into bts, struggling with tough practices and fears of the future, losing loved ones along the way, and so many more i can only imagine, but the way you’ve still kept your head up with that contagious rectangular smile on your face shows how strong you are, and that itself is the push a lot of us need to keep fighting our own fights. please continue to be yourself to the fullest, to laugh lots and in turn, make your members laugh, to keep yourself healthy, to work hard and make wonderful songs and photos and other works of art, and chase after your dreams, because we will be with you, supporting you every step of the way.

to jungkook: 

to the boy who seems to have it all – talent in all kinds of realms, handsome looks, physical strength and stamina, burning passion, and on top of that, a heart of pure gold. i know you’re used to being called the golden maknae, but there are times i’m afraid you don’t believe it, not just because you’re humble and always see room for growth but also because you don’t realize just how wonderful you truly are. you are all of those things i mentioned earlier, but also so much more; just look at how you have come such a long way from the shy, scared, and less confident boy you were 6 years ago, like i hope you can see all that growth and progression and be proud of yourself. you are so beautifully unashamed of your emotions, you love your members and ARMY so much that it shows even just from the affection in your eyes and how big that bunny tooth smile gets. you are adored because you truly are golden, from head to toe, inside and out, from your musical and performance talents to the way you worry about your hyungs and want to help in whatever way you can, you are so chock full of love and ambition and bts is so lucky to have a maknae like you. as you continue to grow and struggle in this wicked and often unfair world, i hope you’ll continue to burn with ambition, strive after your goals, keep fueling that perseverance that is seriously so admirable, and, again, just keep being the goofy, adorable, hardworking maknae that you are for bangtan. no matter what or how many mistakes you make, or how inadequate you feel, or how frustrated you are with yourself or with life, just know that we, ARMY and your beloved brothers, are 100% by your side, always watching out for you, supporting you in everything you do, and loving you for who you are right now because you don’t need to impress us, we already love you for you.

[aquacai]

compilation of bts/army tweets i retweeted but doesn’t actually appear on my profile (TWITTER WHY)

TEXT POSTS:

Namgi are actual prodigies, how did bang pd just casually pick em up like that

ARMYs give BTS amazing promo but it only works cause...

And just in case anyone doesn't know, we call K-army "diamonds" because...

namjoon: i made espresso!! jungkook: i wanna try it namjoon: u hate bitter coffee  

seokjin couldnt give less of a shit!!!!

Hoseok is Rock Lee

We have faves that are so willing to educate themselves...

I actually adore the final verses of The Last so much.

Hobi’s pseudo-triple entendres

why is this something i feel like rap line does in the studio

the funniest part of this run ep was when taehyung said...  

BTS teletubbies @ MBC Gayo 2017

every update this year

top three betrayals are bighit not releasing tony montana feat jimin...

When I first began to fully get into BTS, I had a pretty jaded view...

Dear BTS 2013, its ARMY 2018.

MY  DNA

*Yoongi's dating rumour*

this episode (run ep. 46) was so full of innuendos

fake trans on jin’s supposed feelings about the SIN separation

whoever is directing run should be reigned as the nation's hero...

What do you call a company that surpassed and outsold the big3?

bts are the definition of hyping ppl up for doing the bare minimum

an actual conversation that happened (run bts ep 46)

suran suga again and army

So I suddenly remember when Namjoon said these during Wings Tour The Final...

She was pushed by another members of staff  while doing namjoon’s makeup

I WAS IN THE SHOWER BLASTING BTS AND ONCE I GOT OUT...

to the female staff who consoled jimin and keeps saying “you didn't mess up”...  

they went from pardon to what was that

What happened at the first two episodes just made me respect Namjoon more.

on a serious note, it would be nice if when bts gets a special someone...

Next time during BTS concert, instead of screaming “encore encore”...

yall ever wanna think about how namjoon said that jimin needs lots of love and attention and thats probably why he shared a room with hoseok bc thats what exactly hoseok gives him

if I have any feeling towards BTS thats stronger than Love then it's RESPECT

the reason Jin was going on and on with his (R)evolution (E)volution (D)rop in the ocean thing might be because he was "hinting" at Youtube Red

one day, there will be a last...

namjoon came to post a selfie and left with a dating scandal

remember when hobi said “i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for bangtan”...

Namjoon admitting that he’s also “just a kid” ...

"The reason I make music is because, after all, I am also afraid of the world."

Yoongi's scalp is braver than any US marine

Sometimes we forget that Namjoon is also just trying to figure out the world.

PUMA fansign: thank you for making music that changes the world

Everyone has a musical preference & enjoy when their artists reflect that.

let me talk about taehyung and how amazing he is as a friend

i like when seokjin shares stuff about his childhood, we get to know his orijin

BTS is also  for redefining masculinity (hiphop is their way of life)

from humble beginnings to legends

burn the stage makes me realize that whenever rm post photos of nature ...

what exactly makes namjoon the sexiest for me ...

the reason seokjin’s chest and shoulders are so wide

Bighit: O! R YU DEAD, 2?

"What's your favourite song currently?"

the mask guy: u didnt bring anything to exchange so i cant help u

namjoons exchange [in the Fake Love Teaser 1] is so funny to me...  

here are some of my favourite joon interviews

"How did you join BTS?"

jin: i’ve been doing it for 4 years

I hate it when people say armys have two brain cells like bold of you to think we even have a brain (sarcasm lol)

i’m a new generation anpanman

When the Billboard news was released this morning... (wisha)

interviewer: so what are your goals?

sometimes i still think about how the fanchant of cypher pt4...

"Hoe calm down, my shoe lace is untied"

“itʼs ok, we all found bts when we needed them in our lives the most”

i’m so sorry but it’s fake love

i want to see the world from taehyung’s view

just for youuuu

i love that taehyung is never anything but proud when talking abt the fact that he’s gained weight

i bet taehyung gives the best hugs

Our bomb is like a permanent reminder...

remember when we were like omg hixtape‘s mv gonna have bomb ass choreography lmaooo

no but it's so cute bts call it family pictures and not group pictures??

there's an undeniable sexual energy between yoongi nd every trophy... 

bh staff: describe yourself in one word

jin: man, blowjobs sure are a mouthful (incorrect bts quotes)

THREADS:

I came across the Deloitte 2018 Media and Entertainment Industry Outlook

hoseok is one of the best dancers in the industry...

meaning behind whalien 52

KPOP101 LESSON 8: THE MINIMALIST ART OF THE KOREAN BALLAD

getting people flustered is hoseok culture - a thread

MY TOP 10 BTS SONGS (by KommonSense)

an explanation of rap lingo BTS use in their lyrics: a thread

I have some free time so like for an unpopular opinion. (hobybIo)

My Favorite Soft BTS Moments - A Thread! (odie)

Burn The Stage made me feel extremely vulnerable. (Aileen)

as Kings of Korean History [A thread] (KommonSense)

a thread of my favorite bts-related tumblr posts

Why and how the BTS rapline's experience with rap mirrors that of OG rappers

Everytime a BTS member was supportive of the LGBT community in any way

Namjoon (RM) Owning Up to His Mistakes

odie

Bangtan dancing styles thread

hoseok is one of the best dancers in the industry

Sky’s experience as a veteran ARMY

Jimin’s gliding technique (more threads on his dance technique)

analysis of how well DNA is structured as an EDM-pop song

I took a closer look into BTS’ intro Serendipity

Park Jimin is one of the most graceful and beautiful dancers in the industry

ok newbie kpop stans, welcome to history class (fandom shit)

An Introduction for the New, the Confused, and the Curious

BTS introduction thread

Science & literature are intrinsic to understanding how BTS and ARMY

how Singularity choreography coincides with lyrics

WHAT BTS ACTUALLY SAID - A MEGA THREAD

BTS song recommendations based on genres: a thread

rap line’s verses analysis

Mnet Comebackshow (LY:Tear) pre-recording review - THREAD -

"remember when" (BTS edition)

I'm watching a BTS music video and I don't know what the hell is going on, a thread:

LY: TEAR - MUSICAL ANALYSIS.

You know why I never will trust or listen to people who say "I left because of the fandom"

Type out what the bighit intro sounds like

Tyra Banks and her biological sons; a thread:

a thread about how BTS uses their music in their storytelling

for hot100, bts did what fans suggested

"Silly Little Trivia: Literal Choreography" thread for Fake Love

UNDERSTANDING BUniverse

BTS showing LGBT+ representation and support, a thread  (this, too)

BTS meets Western standards of “cool” established by 1960s music, particularly rock ethics

BTS’ success: human brand x fan relationship

to celebrate bts festa, here is a thread of army stan twt’s best moments

MEME PICS/VIDS:

Jimin in the Danger mv

save Cook-Jin

Hope as mom : can you even get in any college with these grades?

Namgi & their annoyingly jumpy kids

IM WHEEZING JIN DID IT AGAIN

Everything makes sense noW (spider bite, cooky bite)  

when they let you love them

When you need to wake em up

coming soon: Kim Seokjin only wanted a boyfriend

salt baes

EXPECTATION: "We aren't talking about BTS enough!

summary of run bts ep 46

i-armys and k-armys (suga’s ghost patting the clay)

Heaviest objects in the entire universe

"You will witness taehyung and jin fighting"

The battle of the year.

Hangsang with my thug

"Tangina mo," - J-Hope, 2018

choose your mineral water.

We all know... K-ARMYS & I-ARMYS

so who is giving them the candy?

I AM FUCKING DYING LAUGHING AT THEM IGNORING ALL THE KNOCKING IN THIS SCENARIO

I got bored and made ART

remember when namjoon asked for armys to edit him in because he missed the group picture with halsey

me listening to bts album skits

hoseok: hangsang with my thugs ||  his thugs:

we're finally getting the country comeback we deserve

fixed Jimin’s shots in LY:Tear

jungkook: made before i was born

this is what your food looks like inside the microwave

is this a theory?

is this an invitation?

He returned from the war

avatar Jimin

Yoongi and JK’s muffled convo

im just trying to take a nice screenshot....

ah yes, the four elements: fire, earth, water and snickers

Tyra Banks:  The BTS ARMY is devoted and crazy (in a good way!) xD

BTS [MV] - You Will Never Do a Live Alone

the nation's #1 producer & bts' hype man 

namjoon: you. me?

jungkook when he first met joon 

fierce lil meow meow

RM spinebreaker???

this looks like rap line were a group of friends who stuck together...

V was written all along in Jimin’s tweet lol

jwimin-ssi

Hangs out with Tyra Banks ONCE... 

learn the alphabet with BTS

TRANS:

When Bighit said they’ll donate 3% of LY album sales, u guys mocked us...

Kim Seokjin strange points

k-netz’ reaction on the Suga-Suran dating scandal

"Can bangtan fans please not get swayed by rumors?”

BTS trainer instagram re:B.T.S.

Music critic Kim, Youngdae nim’s MINI REVIEW on “Face Yourself”

Music critic Kim, Youngdae nim’s MINI REVIEW on “Euphoria”

bang pd and namjoon about his post supporting macklemore's song 'same love'

Konkuk uni student who became Seokjin's fan after speaking with him

I'm a multi-fan, I watch and listen to many idols, but I'm truly scared of BTS

an older woman(non-celebrity) admitted how much she loved BTS

So many warm teas in this article wrote by producer/musician Seiji Kameda

#LOVE_YOURSELF_轉_Tear Album HYYH Notes Translation Thread

180518 Love Yourself 轉 Tear - Thanks To Translations

“The lyrics in BTS’ album are so great  Huge congrats to receiving at BBMA ”

response to #1 Billboard 200

BTS 2018 Festa Member’s profiles

VIDS:

KBS Happy Together 3 - Spring Day sung in karaoke room

imagine being this close to sunshine

Ashes - Lim Jeong Hee ft. BTS (2011)

kook's carelessness brought out his sunshine laugh just like that

Remember when bts proved to armys that they are all really spiderman

that time the cameraman was filming bts and jungkook started telling him...  

i still get so soft over this the way jin hugged taehyung...

Seokjin killed it in this part in boy in luv

the sound of their footsteps is so satisfying omg

Remember when Jin and Ken met on a year end event rehearsal and they just...

Jungkook’s ‘yes’ and smile when Miri jumped through his arms...

seokjin and his interactions with camera men

Remember when Yoongi & Namjoon sang the high notes in Young Forever...

look at the difference between taekook and jinkook’s handshake lmao

this dance break has a special place in my heart :')

remember when Taehyung accidentally cut his real hair...

Nver forget that iris stevenson was the first one to believe in taehyung...

did yall notice that fdjghgd i’m shaking (run ep 46)

To remember the great SiN/YoonJin moment...

the wings era might be over but this snippet of each member’s solo songs...

Yes, Mom. This man right here. I love him. No more questions?

this is the best video of jin to ever exist

here’s jungkook having fun dancing to mama and lie

slush ft. jin

tell me why is it so funny that yoongi only opened 1/10 of his door n went back so fast

nothing but respect for my choreography leader

when jungkook opened the window well aware that it was raining

what makes you laugh? seokjin’s face

Bringing this back when taehyung was dancing nae nae...

SOMEBODY GIVE THIS BABY BLANKET AND BED...

i love this performance so fucking much!!!!

your ultimate mood booster (hobiiii)

HOLY SHIT MIN FUCKING YOONGI DID THAT

susko sobra ung bucket hats

THE WAY YOONGI AND HOSEOK SAY "RM" TOGETHER

remember when seokjin and hoseok were recognized by fans in america

jungkook imitated namjoon's finger heart and wink in a cute way

A compilation loop of Hoseok sneezing because it’s cute. Bless you!!

remember when jimin was hyping about their concert but hoseok

Hoseok left the group during Trainee days

heres 12 seconds of yoongi doing That Scream™ ...

this is what happens when you openly listen to bts without prejudice

when i say i want a rock song, i want THIS.

When Jungkook couldn’t pronounce Army bomb because of his Busan accent

U kno the thing joon does when he finds something?

reminding all of you that the special talent yoongi prepared is... imitating a doorbell

Here's a compilation of musicians getting shook by the sudden change to major in Jimin's 'Lie'

He actually blew a kiss how adorable

The fanboying level on this video is just

Hoseok doing background vocals/harmonising in Let Go (??)

...namjoon literally gets amused at the toy which blows a ball in the air...

NAMJOON DROPPED THE MIC HE WAS HOLDING AND JIN...

Lie rough instrumental

rough draft of Autumn Leaves, Young Forever, Wings (RM), Wings (JK)

Joon’s voice in the BBMA nomination teaser

Jin's reaction when I (sky) told him I brought him a present...

why BTS was nominated for BB TSA 2018

taehyung was fighting back his tears when they won TSA at 2017 BBMAs

Yoongi forgot his lines in Ma City and he just...

mannequin Tae

Bangtan ended ALL fashion weeks tonight !! (4th muster japan)

members cheering jimin up, wings tour macao

RM’s ending ment, Wings Tour the finale (Day 2?)

never forget bts' iconic reaction when they won their first daesang

When Jin was bowing, Jimin held him down and Jungkook immediately ran to sit in front of him.

jimin and seokjin debating whether dolphins could breathe underwater

look at tae's reaction when bang pd's voice broke

interviewer: what?

“DonT FiGht, Dont Fight!” :(((

RM: “we want to focus on our career”

Q: what's your favorite thing about yourself? yoongi: ᶤ ˡᶤᵏᵉ ᵖᵘᵖᵖʸ

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT HOW JOON TRIED TO DO THE LIL DISNEY WAND THING WITH HIS FINGER IM HURTING

jungkook’s closeups

BTS with Ciara at the BBMAs 2018

don’t ever forget that seokjin is one hell of a snowboarder

“the reason why bts, who was not supported by big agencies, succeeded, is that they tried to read the world and to breathe [with the world] together”

this is what happens when u leave namjoon and jimin alone together

this video of seokjin being hype then instantly stops when his manager look at him will never be not funny

LMFAOOO WAIT TAEHYUNG AND NEYO WERE JAMMING TOGETHER

An exclusive interview with #BTS ! (MBC News)

i love this version of airplane pt. 2 so much (jk+jm part)  (jimin mode~) yt link full

john cena getting asked whats his favorite song off love yourself tear

The female staff who video tapes BTS bangtan bombs is amazing

WHAT THE FUCK JUNGKOOK LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE SEOKJIN...

Q: Please say something to international ARMYs

awake (short harp cover)

airplane pt. 2 dance cover

compilation of yoongi stuff in raps

wHY IS JUNGKOOK LIKE THIS

the way he said "what's your name?" and shouted "michelle!"

full vid of the two links above

#ISeoulU bts vid 2015

Tyra Bank’s music vid for Fake Love

vmin in sync is scary

fake love original choreo

jungkook said ‘mic drop!’ after he stepped on the wire and made the mic fall

tae acting in euphoria

puppy jungkook is still the most ᵘʷᵘ :(

hobi jk mirror dance with finger heart (mcountdown)

ONEW WAS THROWING CONFETTI AT TAE PLEASE THATS SO CUTE

Look how Jiminie gave the trophy to Yoongi cuz baby boy knows

tae: so show me  army: i’ll show you~  {music core)

minho and tae hugging (music core)

tae’s aegyo in board game run ep

look at taehyung acting all cute in the back

when seokjin goes like (•3•) its the cutest thing ever

wow jimin was that an accident

YOONGI REALLY IMITATED HIM IM SKFJDJ

What 시 (si; hour) is it?

SUGA: honestly, I rlly liked pro-wrestling

a fancam of taehyung spilling his water on his face

ARMY giving hobi a flower with his face on it (fansign) (180603)

BTS: *on their way to a very serious interview on one of Korea's biggest news channels*

yoonkok instant hug BV S1

sunud-sunod na aegyo in anpanman outfits

jungkook pulled off straps and threw down two straps then taejin picked them up

legends say this is the closest rep of how hoseok looks in real life

Kihyun really had the courage to throw confetti in yoongi's face tho

52 year-old man is a director of a company in Japan dancing DNA

I stan a king of fan service he's so adorable!

when taehyung was fake crying and jimin came & softly hugged him from behind

this or that game

jk imitating his hyungs (180607 fansign)

HOW UNSEE THIS IM LAUGHINF SO HARD shkhhh  (awake)

biggest mystery in kpop - who's collecting who in the background??? (taejin?)

SEOKJIN ENDED THE PERFORMANCE DOING A FINGER HEART... 180607

hopekook's modified mirror dance 180607 mcountdown

jk reacting to ariana grande bbmas 2018

Look a joonie :( look at him go :(

REMEMBER WHEN HOSEOK SAID HE WAS CLINGY WITH YOONGI (BV2)...

noona fan giving hobi and jimin “allowance”

namjoon drunk-tweeting?

carbonara

LOOK AT LIL MEOW MEOW GO (basketball)

look at jimin’s reaction when a noona gave him a finger heart

they had to throw the yellow cloth at the finish of the performance...

OTHER PICS:

tae being so accepting in star king ;w;

i may be not here since 2013, but im still lucky to witnessed yeontan's lil growth

remember when bangtan was running late for their show...

NAMJOON’S REPLY TO THE SELCA JIN POSTED OF HIM...

hobi and his hearts

ep 1& 2 of B.T.S. has at least cleared up 2 main issues in this fandom

RM has a little #WednesdayWisdom from Burn The Stage.

This photo is a complete mess.

yoongi’s kind of humor is my favorite

Their biggest dream isn’t to break records, its to stay together for a long time.

They recorded their interviews for the documentary when they did Gayo track 15

what jimin said here was really interesting and great

the most powerful twins

They decided not to blur these faces of people who's behind BTS’ success.  

BTS calls their staff with nicknames, noona or hyung...

it really went from edits to jungkook actually saying it

IM CRYING BIGHIT PAID FOR YOONGIS TUITON :((

LMFAO at none of them even touching the salad

tae’s uneven eyelids

when jin got allowance from his dad to buy steak...

LOOK AT YOONGI RUN SJDNDNDNDN

give me a better photo transition I'll wait #euphoria

love yourself 起 wonder (2018)

jin being peymous even pre-debut

THIS STILL GOTTA BE THE FUNNIEST THING JOON HAS EVER SAID

the most remarkable twins in history

a turkish tv show asked for ppl to send in pics w their siblings and someone sent in jin and jimin

taehyung’s a legend that listens to music on his laptop on the go

onigiri yoongi

MY MOTHER CAME INTO MY ROOM AND ASKED IF JIMIN IS MY BOYFRIEND

jung hoseok aka the king of mirror selcas

Tiny bestfriends vmin who have been inseparable since kindergarten AU

old bts pics I still can't believe exist: a thread

yoongi at namjoon's graduation (w/ hoseok)

I COMBINED TAEGI'S PICS TOGETHER AND OH MY GOD SJSB

"i put sticker on my carrier" yeah ryt

oh nothing just seokjin casually putting his LG G7 ThinQ at his jacket pocket

He show his flower uwu

taehyung accidentally becoming a meme on diplo's snapchat

Never forget Jungkook's Hongdae adventures

THANKS JIN for not killing jungkook

liam’s post of namjoon :D

that one time namjoon tweeted a picture of them with the caption of “we are all fools”

A 59-year-old friend of mine talking about Love Yourself:Tear

I was worried because I thought yoongi kept doing some kind of gang sign but--

This has to be the best reaction to a non-fan of BTS...

when you are sitting beside BTS but mcflurry ice cream is life

why is this exactly what all of their mixtapes sound like

dispatch - yoongi, fake love

taehyung’s chubby cheeks when he smiles

taehyung and his tea

OMFGGMFM LOOK AT Tyra Banks when boys went up for their award she’s a whole Mood I love her

BTS FESTA 2018 prediction

carry him again, jin

I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA CLOWN HIM

top10 mistranslations betrayal 

Yoongi doing ᵗʰᵃᵗ smile

wide open yoongi

brigada eskwela stairs album art

jin flower petals (fansign)

namjoon vs svt jihoon

yoongi continuing his lil meow meow agenda

These two cuties just melted my whole heart (tae and tanie)

So... are we gonna talk about how they drew one stickman thicker than the rest

Low key promoted BTS the past 3 weeks in our hospital...

The exact same cat, same plant & same island taken 1 year apart. (ARMYSelca)

yoongi bunched up(?)

[thecarelessmint]

Dear Me,

Its been a while. It’s been a little over a year and things have changed, 

How am I? I’ve changed, I’m colder, I’m much more closed off, I cry a lot, I’m still hypersensitive but I don’t think that’s going anywhere.

I have some good news though, that horrible thing we went through, depersonalization, it’s gone. 

I wrote the first dear me in August before drama camp, which I was unfortunately depersonalized for, but coming September, it was gone. I don’t know if it was the familiar atmosphere of being back in school and being consistently surrounded my people and emotions, but it left.  

That following winter, S.A.D wasn’t all that bad either, it was definitely there but it wasn’t the worst it’s been. 

It’s easy to say that last July (2016), was the worst month of my life, I had never been so lost in my 15 years of living (at the time, and yes I’ve accepted my real age and since it’s just between me and you, I’m using it), it was also one of the most alone I had ever felt. 

Mental Health wise: I think I suffer from anxiety, I say suffer because truly I’m suffering. 

Recently, the family and myself went to Seattle and Phoenix. It was probably the most anxiety ridden I had ever been.

Everything made me angry, I snapped at every single minor inconvenience, and I just wanted to be left alone, I still do, I just want to be alone. 

Being with other people has caused me a lot of issues, I love being with people and conversing, but I’d rather just stay alone, it causes less to worry about, no more stress about being home on time, how I’m going to get home, remembering to have fun. 

I guess a lot of it has to do with how I was raised, going out was much harder than simply staying home, having to ask for permission to simply see my friends outside an adult controlled environment and knowing that I was going to be turned down the offer was given me too much anxiety over making plans that I usually just bail out on them.

This makes me feel extremely guilty because I genuinely like the people, but I JUST CAN’T LEAVE THE HOUSE. 

Going out itself is a hassle, the pressure to consistently be happy during the few hours you spend with another person in order to leave it a happy memory shouldn’t be as hard as it is. 

On a happier note, reading last year’s ‘Dear Me’, I can say the love for myself has only grown, I love me, so much! I love my quirks and the stupid things I do. I love how I completely bop out to a song and then realize how stupid I look but keep going. I love that I’m in love with myself. I raked myself through the mud with hate but here I am treating myself with gentle care. 

Removing myself from situations that make me upset, feeding myself regardless of how late it is because I’m hungry and who cares about weight. Wearing whatever I feel happy in, (like that pompom hair piece from F21) understanding that I am probably the weirdest person to have walked this Earth but also I’m cute as heck. I’m trying my /best/ to stay hydrated but I don’t even have a water bottle so ya girl is struggling. 

I’m slowly improving myself and paying more attention to how I react to things. I’ve become really picky with what I eat after I puked for 12 hours that one day in March, it was fucking shit, I deadass have a fear of puking now. It hurts.

I’m still hella into space and deep sea, I went to the aquarium in Phoenix and cried cause I love the sea. The entire family went, but as much as I was having fun, as soon as I found out that everyone else found it boring, the entire experience was ruined, I was more or less upset the rest of the day, do you see the problem? Stuff like this shouldn’t happen, it was an amazing experience but whenever I think back, all I can feel is this heavy weight because of how sad I felt that I was basically dragging them around but also because we left really early. Man, I really wanted to stay but it was 1 against so 5, so who was I to make them stay. 

Anime is still a huge part of my life, Naruto ended and I’m /hurt/. Yuri On Ice came out that November-December and honestly, what a life changing show, it was so gay, and canon. I miss, I can’t wait for season 2. I watched Kimi No Na Wa (a movie) and truly what a beautiful movie, that’s all I can say, visually it’s stunning. The characters are amazing but can I remember their names? Nope. 

Remember how we saw that ad for Goblin on Facebook and had it bookmarked for weeks but never watched it. WELL, LET ME TELL YOU (sit down this is going to take a while). So, because I watched anime and it was in another language, why couldn’t I give Kdramas a try, LITTLE DID I KNOW. I never ended up watching Goblin on my own. 

Months passed and it was around February when I started getting into Korean girl groups, that’s right, Kpop. Oh My Girl was too cute for me to ignore so I stanned them (YooA and Binnie, my kids), time passed and I couldn’t quite get into their music, so I just stopped. I stayed away from the boy groups because of the drama that came along with them (a misteak). 

Even more time passed, Patty recommended a Kdrama called Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo, LIFE CHANGING, REVOLUTIONARY, THE PUREST! I watched 11 hours worth of it in one day, sleep who? Needless to say I loved it, I loved every single character, Nam Joo Hyuk could kill me and I’d say thanks.

On April 15th, 2017, (that fateful day) I watched Unfair - EXO for the first time and my life was changed, Kim Jongdae stole my heart. This was bad though, it was towards the middle of the second semester, I didn’t have time for this, but did I care? No. Sleep became foreign to me, I needed to catch up on the 5 years I missed. I somehow graduated. 

My bias list is a mess, it ranges from Jongdae, Minseok, Kyungsoo, BBH, Junmeyon, Sehun, Jongin, Yixing and PCY, oh would you look at that, it’s the entire group, ha AHAHAHHAHAHAHAH, let me live. 

It only got worse from there, I watched hella Kdramas but did I ever finish them? No. Why? I truly don’t know. 

As soon as it gets angsty and yeet out so fast, I can’t handle angst, I don’t like sad things, my life’s already a mess, I came here for a good time. 

If you’re reading this a year later and still haven’t finished The Entertainer I will come to the future and fight you, fucking finish it, I understand you’ll cry, we’re the same person, but finish it! It deserves better than this, you’re deadass on the last episode you hoe, (love you). 

Also finish My Shy Boss, but I feel like you’ll have that one done, it’s harder to watch but it hurts less. It makes sense, I know what I mean.

Moving on, you see I was avoiding BTS like the plague, their fandom is terrifying and there was too much going on, I was safe and happy with EXO (featuring NCT127), I was proud of them for their Billboard Award, like yes you did that congrats, but that was all. 

Fast forward to me just chilling and deciding to finally give them a try, I turned to their MV’s, Spring Day was cute and I got it stuck in my head a lot, Fire was too much and I instantly closed the tab. I wanted to see my sister’s reaction to Fire and she liked them. I was confused, my sister hates KPOP (bc of me), so I delved in, did my research trying to find out who was who, this was where it started. 

I knew, I knew, I had no chance, it was over. My first bias was that bastard Jeon Jungkook, at this time, I always forgot Suga, Jimin and Rap Monster looked too similar to me (forgive me, I was young) V? Jhope? Jin? 

I got better with names, but EXO was still #1 for me, what changed all of this was RUN BTS. I was watching it the same time I was watching EXO - Showtime, but slowly stopped watching Showtime, to Y’know, ‘savour it’, (I wasn’t going to admit to myself that I liked another group more.

Run BTS helped with recognition and learning about their character, this is where it went wrong, these idiots are extremely lovable so I fell in head first. I quickly learned I was Min Yoongi and Park Jimin trash, only later did I find out their was a ship for them (we aren’t gonna talk about this, you already now). 

I could talk for days about Jimin, I remember I would cry every time I saw photos of him because HE WAS TOO MUCH FOR ME. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I CRIED WHEN I LATER FOUND OUT THE SHIT THAT HE WENT THROUGH AND IS STILL GOING THROUGH ABOUT HIS WEIGHT AND HIS IMAGE, HE DESERVES SO MUCH FUCKING BETTER. 

AND FUCKING AGUST D OVER THERE, THAT CINNAMON ROLL’S STORY HURT ME, I haven’t listened to the mix tape yet (It’s a year old now) because I need to recover from simply knowing that he went through that. 

I am Bangtan SonyeonDONE WITH THIS GROUP. I have this odd love for them, and I couldn’t tell you why. If this is a phase, this is the best damn phase of my life, I was miserable in the One Direction fandom, everyone was fighting, but the KPOP fandom, still filled with fan wars, is too funny. The memes are why I stay, music? what music? 

(I hope you still listen to the evening acoustic playlist on Spotify, it got me through the States trip.))

I’m gonna continue talking about BTS because I just need to let all this out, I might not do a whole paragraph on each member but don’t fight me on this alright. 

Kim Namjoon,  the good lord, the savior, the leader of Bangtan, the one I want to meet most. I feel so many feelings for this man, I just want to go to a coffee shop and talk about life. I watch his vlives when looking for comfort because HE GETS IT! He thinks the things I thought only I did and never speak about because they’re ‘not normal’. I see him less as this celebrity and more as a friend, and I know how cringey and all that this is but listen, hear me out, I’ve only ever wanted to meet two celebrities in my life and they are Misha Collins and now Joon, and that’s on the sole fact that I feel I can talk to them, just talk.

This is not to say I wouldn’t want to meet the rest of Bangtan, I love them all, heck Jimin is my bias, but there’s something about Namjoon I can’t put my finger on. 

(Also this is hella long compared to last year’s and I’m not sorry, It’s been a whole year soooo.)

Moving on from Kpop, relationships in my life. 

Maria - we talk on snapchat, we met up at the Mac grad, its causal. 

Bruno - best friend, love of my life, my boyfriend, he doesn’t judge me and gives me my space, love this kid.

Patty - my kid! we talk everyday and we’re about to hit 100 on snapchat, planning a trip to Tokyo and Seoul. 

Tanika - madre, I love:), she’s leaving Edmonton in January though, and that’s honestly just hella sad

Erika - baby buhler who’s also my mom, the most accepting, i love her so much, i appreciate so much 

Danait - my kid pt.2, always listens to me rant about kpop, became a BTS fan 

Blake - i’m only adding him because he’s comfortable, a smiley baby 

Yadiel - A SMILEY BABY, i love him :(

Dead Relationships:

Talia - I’m burning this one to the ground, it was fucking ridiculous, her mom messaged me like ???, 10/10 glad I ended it. 

Lucas - can fucking suck my ass, I hate this kid so much, why did I let this drag on for so long 

That entire girl group - I don’t know man, it’s really weird but I can’t stay friends with them, Igtg 

Jordan - we stopped talking because I’m gr8 at talking 

That’s all for that.

I love myself, I love you, I love my friends, we’re starting uni !!

We got accepted into the UofA & Macewan, (going to macewan though)

I hope you survive! I honestly don’t know how you’re going to do this, but you got this !! I believe in you !

(Stand Talent, Stan Beyond The Scene (I still love EXO very much))