#also calling Wyll boring and romancing gale is very funny

[tastefulsuplex]

clock it bc the amount of times ive seen gale/astarion/halsin romancers make posts/memes abt their faves when they're literally just describing Wyll is very very interesting to me

I also don't play BG3 and I only experience it through osmosis—but my friends have talked a Lot about how Wyll has been shafted, and in particular, how a lot of people are taking his story and copy pasting it onto Gale to make him more likeable which is so 🤨

And Astarion too. So its like what is the truth. Is he boring or not. 🫠

[pwnyta]

From someone who knows basically nothing about Baldurs Gate......

Imma give my UNSOLICITED OPINIONS.

Karlach is the most consistent with her style. She looks great in everything. Shes also the hottest overall (no pun intended). Her personality is one of the cutest and the fact she doesnt seem to get that good of an ending is UH... CRIMINAL.

Best ship- ...//covers face and mumbles... I really like her relationship with the player... this is so unfortunate... but its so cute. I love her. (I know theres a couple endings where you can kill her. Those dont exist or Im calling the cops.)

Base model MEH, Camp model VERY cute, Panties.... ITS A CHOICE BUT ONE I BUY THAT HE'D MAKE FROM WHAT I KNOW ABOUT HIM. Also I dont believe for a MINUTE this man got a six pack why are you lying directly to my face... He reminds me of Dr Frank, I love his voice, I would never be able to deny him anything because hes really funny and I just wanna see him go crazy.

Best ship- Astarion/Wyll... I just saw a video of Star being SO into Wyll it was hilarious. 'Honestly that MAN~' Someone get him a Thirst-aid kit.

The sheer driplessness of this man needs to be studied by SCIENTISTS. But his panties are pretty cute. I do like his face/hair... but the man cant dress himself. ...Look on paper Gale is everything. His sweetness and earnestness is very charming but GOD... hes so cringe sometimes. GOOFY FUCK.

Best ship- ... Probably Wyll? I mean you can just slot Wyll in anywhere cuz hes so charming and he and Gale are such cornballs itd be insufferable.

Laezel takes second place right behind my bbg Karlach. Her base model is a little weird looking the metal looks weird but it still looks pretty cool. Her camp model is super hot, I never would have expected those panties TBH... why dont the men get fun panties. This is a crime. Anyways 9/10 Zel! Congrats. IDK if I like her or the memes with her. her VA did that ducks in a row video and its so funny and I cant ever be mad at her no matter what she wanted to do.

Best ship- .....I mean aesthetically Karlach? For shallow reasons... idk what their relationship is like.

...Look I know shes super popular but.... Look her camp model is pretty great but Her hair is hideous. I can get over Gales absolute driplessness cus hes still handsome... what is this hair... GIRL. The panties are a choice too... but after Karlach and Zel she really had little chance. Least theyre better than the guys.

Best ship- //shrugs I have no attachment to this woman LMAO

Base model? Kinda boring but not terrible. Camp model? One of the best... the cute little peekaboo belly. I hope someone bites him. BUT THE PANTIES??? Girl. Youre lucky youre so handsome. The horns and crazy eyes elevate him... just putting that out there. Like Gale... on paper Wyll is so perfect but HES SO EMBARRASSINGLY EARNEST. The problem is probably just the style of the game... if it was less uncanny realism and more stylized maybe I wouldnt be as cringed out LMAO. Youre so damn cute Wyll... Im sorry.

Best ship- Astarion is funny but hes such a menace... I think Wyll deserves better. HALSIN/Wyll.

Halsin somehow does the earnest lover thing way better than Gale or Wyll... but hes almost as bad as Gale when it comes to dressing himself. Who let this man dress himself? Hes hot though. It makes up for it. I cant believe BG3 let this beefy elf exist... Im so used to young looking scrawny pasty elves (eyes emoji).

Best ship- Like Wyll you can just put him anywhere.... but WYLL. Theyd just be so cute. Halsin could definitely dull the sheer earnestness to tolerable levels probably.

This lady I know almost nothing about except shes kinda rancid.... but at least shes kinda hot and also can dress decently.

Best ship- ...//shrugs

The fact shes not romanceable makes BG unplayable. Her face and hair is gorgeous, her clothes get a MEH from me... maybe if the colors were more muted?

Best ship- ...//shrugs

Hes fine.

Best ship- ...//shrugs

?

I know the Emperor has some part in this too... and hes hot. So...

Overall-

The difference between S tier and A tier.. isnt that different. I really like those 3 freaks.

At first Wyll & Halsin were these too but... they grew on me & I cant blame them for their faults. Its not Halsins fault you can traumatize a squirrel... its not Wylls fault the realistic style combined with his cheesy romantic bullshit embarrasses me...

I couldnt even get through Dream Daddys.... and I love that game.

I can forgive Wyll.

[pensola]

Just because I am bored, here are my various characters that I have played, am currently playing or plan to play:

Siova Tav

My first character, she was made pretty much just because I found it very funny to have a devil-looking character get powers from a god, so I chose the most good-oriented-sounding god from the cleric list... and somehow I ended up falling in love with her.

She grew up in the Open Hand Temple after her father was murdered and her mother left her there and never came back. I imagined her to be a lot like Tohru Honda from the "Fruits Basket" manga/anime, where she is not book-smart but has a lot of wisdom and kindness that makes people like her and feel safe around her. She has her long hair in a braid because her mother's family used to do that as part of a tradition, she dislikes having the hair free. Her eyes are also naturally darker, but got a glow after Ilmater accepted her as his cleric. She loves meeting people belonging to different gods and to learn from their point of view the world, but over time she is not afraid to stand by her own views of the world, life and divinity, which lead to quite a few arguments between her and especially Wyll, Gale and Astarion.

She romanced Wyll and followed him to Avernus to take down Mizora, although she does not want to adventure forever. Because I want the best for her, in my head she convinced/Command'ed the two opposing Prism-prisoners to cooperate, and used her Divine Intervention to save Karlach since I never had to use it in the story.

She is my main Tav, the other characters are there more for fun to make slightly different choices.

The Sad Surge

This is the Dark Urge of Siova's story. Technically she does not have a name, but because all my characters accidentally ended up having "S" first in their names, I call her Surge. She has selective eidetic memory with anything to do with death and blood (for example she can easily recall murdering Siova's father in all its gory details from a random urge to kill, but otherwise her memory is very blurry).

Surge and Siova never meet; while Siova was busy with helping people around her, Surge ran past it all in order to get to Baldur's Gate and take back her birthright. She was killed by Orin, and Siova found her corpse after defeating Orin.

I am making an "alternative" story for her where she does follow the regular Dark Urge-playthrough with companions and such, but still waiting to see where that goes. Apparently elves have a child name until they are considered adults in their 100's, so the idea then would be that she would finally make a true name for herself, if she went with a redemption story.

Sharin

The bard, a lover of colour, fun and freedom, Sharin is willing to help others around her, and takes everything with a laugh most of the time. Seems to be unbothered by almost anything with the exception of other people claiming her in any shape of form; she romances Astarion but him flirting by saying "tonight you're all mine and I'm all yours" was a big turn-off even if she knew what he meant. As such, she hates Raphael and uses every opportunity to make fun of him and insult him, because she was very provoked by the idea of selling her soul to him. Unlike Siova Tav who happily shares her past if asked, Sharin hardly ever alludes to it even if there are hints that there are more to her than it seems; she is a drow who has lived on the surface for a long time, she carries a lot of Lolth-sworn knowledge but has the look of a Seldarine, and sometimes has the bearings of a noble as well as an entertainer. She often jokes that she might embark on her own journey of growth when the Absolute is taken care of alongside Astarion.

Sharin angered the Emperor and was forced to take Raphael's offer, putting her soul on the line to save the world. Knowing this and her hatred of being owned, she asked to be made an illithid, and had Gale gather the Crown of Karsus before having Orpheus complete her transformation and killing her; the idea was that ceremorphosis destroys the mortal soul, meaning there would be no soul for Raphael to claim when she failed to give him the Crown. Thus she would save the world, free an old prisoner and give the finger to Raphael one last time (she never went to House of Hope, she had no idea it was there).

That is, that WAS the plan, but then Patch 5 arrived and Withers revealed that for some reason she still had her soul after the ceremorphosis, and she was met by a very angry Raphael.

Sissi

Sissi is a Paladin with the Oath of Vengeance. Having grown up as an urchin, then taken in by some noble people far away from Baldur's Gate that since were killed by and with their killeds in an explosive robbery, Sissi vowed to help give vengeance for those that deserved it. She is a "do unto others" and "ride and die by her friends" kind of gal; if someone is kind of her, she will be kind back, but if she has a reason to begrudge, she will carry that forever; only reason Wyll survived trying to attack Karlach was because Karlach vouched for him and Sissi would easier keep an eye on him, otherwise she would have killed him.

With her, I made her mostly for fun because I wanted an all-girl group (with the exception of Wyll because I am weak and Halsin because Sissi romances him; they are never allowed to be used), who were all tanks. Karlach and Lae'zel stay as their classes, same with Jaheira except she is constantly in owlbear mode if I need her, and Shadowheart was respecced to War Domain Cleric. She was also made a half-orc more because I wanted the colour differences. I am still playing Sissi, but with her I am actually thinking about having her attack Gortash first chance we get, just to see what happens and if I will be able to defeat him, the guards and the Steel Watchers, because again, ride or die, and Karlach wants him dead? That's reason enough to blast the ceremony. Also at first I thought to have her romanze Lae'zel or Karlack, but I read somewhere that half-orcs have a shorter lifespan, so I found it funny if she was only 30 but mentally 45 or the like, or at least that she was mentally the same place as Halsin, even though she does not have the same life experience, and so they ended up together.

Su'zan

This is Su'zan, who's bakground I am still not quite sure about since I have just started her. She is the Sorcerer of my characters, specifically a Wild Magic sorcerer; her hair, scar and eyes are results of Wild Magic Surges. She is going to romance Karlach, who will be a Wild Magic Barbarian. More than that I am not sure, I look forward to learning more about githyanki through her!