#also btw. he acts like he hates it but. he moves it for nips to play with. and then gets angry when she bites him

[medi-bee]

I would LOVE more of the little neuron eater man!

Also, a second question, why do you have a tail installed? It seems too big to pick things up. Though it looks very nice!!

Please don't encourage Nips. She can understand you.

…

My tail? It's there to function as a counterweight, so that I can balance properly. If needed, it also functions as a close-ranged weapon.

... Occasionally it's even turned into a plaything.

[virgil-is-a-bitch]

So I meant to get this out earlier than I did. However its here now!

The idea started from an ask @random-fander sent (You're amazing btw, thank you so much)

Warnings: Unsympathetic Virgil, claustrophobia, panic attacks, panic attacks described in detail, self hate, self hate talk, Virgil being a dick, mind manipulation, Remus being Remus (including-body gore, gore, food metion, burns, gross talk, being trapped, spiders, spider horror, caps) , ducking out being talked about, ducking out being a form of sh, slfhrm

This gets dark so be careful

This is split into four parts. All of the parts flow together in the order they are in, but if you need to skip a part, it should still make sense. Stay safe y'all

Anxiety vs The Brain - Logan pov

Anxiety vs The Ego- Romans pov

Anxiety vs The Rejected- Remus and a little bit of Thomas pov

Anxiety vs The Snake- Janus and Virgil pov

Each part is split up with ~~~~~~

Enjoy~

[Also I'm on mobile tumblr, and it won't let me put a read more. My apologies]

The Fight of Anxiety

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Anxiety vs The Brain~

Logan was mildly upset. No, correction. He was... frustrated. Another pointless argument. More time wasted when something actually productive could have happened. Overwhelming heat swirled pushed against his ribs as he briskly walked towards his room. He was in desperate need of a break from the others. He needed to be somewhere spacious. His room, where he could let his feelings, the burning heat, out.

"Hey Teach?" He knew that voice, he didn't want to deal with the side who owned that voice at the moment. But he did the polite thing and turned around to face Virgil.

"Is there anything I can assist you with?" He asked, his voice flat like that a cool glass filled with ice water. Something he had practiced, it was easier to deal with the temperatures in his chest with the others being unaware that it even existed. So he gave no signs that things were off, if just to keep things running smoothly.

The sound of the others shoes squeaking against the floor, raised the temperature a few degrees inside Logan, as Virgil made he's way over to him. "Lets just walk for a bit, okay Lo?"

Logans fingers were about to burst from the heat that laid just below his skin. He's nickname left a ugly taste, like burnt coffee beans, in his mouth when it came from this side. However he just gave a short nod and continued walking down the hall, now with Virgil along side of him.

They walked in an uncomfortable silence for a while, the only sound was the squeaking of those shoes and light breathing. Logan refused to look at the other. That was until they got to Logans door. A sigh of relief escaped him as they both stopped, his shoulders relaxing just slightly.

Now all that was between him and being able to cool down: was simple door.

"I'm afraid this is my stop." He stated to Virgil, a small forced smile on his face.

When he didn't get a response, not even a shrug, Logan turned and faced his door. The deep blue paint was starting to chip in places, he would need to remember to borrow some paint from Roman later. The tips of Logans fingers cooled against the smooth metal of the doorknob as he grasped it. He turned the handle and opened it, and a sour taste nipped at his mouth. Hadn't he left his lamp on? Why was it so dark?

A pair of hands where on his back suddenly, causing him to flinch hard. But before he could turn around and inquire what the hell was going on, he was shoved past the door frame and into the dark, into something that felt like a boxes. He turned around in time to see Virgil.

His hair a mess, his eyes a deep cold purple (as cold when you forget a coat durning a winter storm) but worse of all was his smirk. The smirk that said Virgil knew exactly what he was doing. And he didn't regret it at all. And then Logan couldn't see him at all, as the door slammed shut.

The door made a harsh noise when shut, like a piano stopped midsong, never to finish the piece, leaving an empty feeling. Logans breathing speed up as his hands searched for a doorknob. But there was nothing on this side of the door. He put his arms to the side, just to find out he barely had a couple inches on either side. His breathing hitched, the heat swirled faster, making his chest feel like it was break open. An empty feeling clouded his head as he fall back against a tower of boxes. The tower swayed, threatening to fall.

Heat spilled from his eyes painfully, as he tried to feel for anyway out. Empty whimpers crawled out of his mouth, but were to quite for anyone to hear. The heat swirled with the empty from his head, both of them feeling like to much. It was to much as the sound of squeaking shoes started up and started going away from him.

"No- Virgil!" He cried as loud as he could, but the heat & emptiness muffled his words, "Please- I, please... Can't..." His voice burned from the bottom of his lungs to the roof of his mouth. There was so much pain, so much heat, so much of everything. But there wasn't enough space. No room to breath, no room to move. No room.

No room

No room

Not enough room to breath

Not enough room to move

Not enough room

No way for Logan to let go of anything, so it stayed in him. Trapped in him. The heat was trapped, and same with the emptiness. Suck in him. Just wanting out, where he could breath.

But he was stuck in his own hell, behind a simple door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Anxiety vs The Ego~

Roman hummed softly, humming always helped seemed to help soften other noises. And oh boy, he had a killer headache at the moment. It felt like all of the Disney songs had played at once at the loudest volume, and as much as he loved Disney, it was overwhelming.

However it hadn't been all of the Disney songs at once, it had been everyone arguing about Thomas hopes and dreams! Well, perhaps it hadn't only been about that... But that was the part that had made Romans head pound like a drum!

He tapped his fingers to the beat of the song he hummed softly as he headed towards Logans room. After the debate the normally calm logically side looked distressed, and if any side knew what distressed looked liked it would be Roman!

So, like the hero he likes to think he was, Roman decided to ignore the beat in his head and go check in on the distressed side who needed his help!

Although, "How can you think that 'you' could help anyone?" Virgil asked at breakfast interrupting Romans explanation of Thomas' dream from the night before. "Really Roman, how could you be a hero?" the memory pounded in his head, his humming got louder.

Maybe he could check on Logan as a friend, he didn't always need to be a hero anyways. Sometimes friends are needed, not hero's. Roman gave a nod at the idea, and continue walking, unaware that he had even stopped.

"Really Roman, how can you be our friend if it always has to be about you?" Virgil's voice seemed to whisper in his ear, repeating something he had said earlier. Romans breath hitched, his humming coming to a harsh stop.

"You act like you're better than us, look in a mirror once in a while Princy." Roman squeezed his eyes closed and shook his head. He really didn't think he was better than any of them. Virgil must have been upset, which is fair he had to deal with Roman after all.

Roman cover his face with his hands, hiding large tears rolling down his face. His back against the hall wall. His head pounding with the crude words of the anxious sides.

"Oh my fucking God Roman. Can't you do anything right?"

"It's not surprising that Thomas didn't get the part. You're his creativity after all."

"I'm not even surprised that you failed. Again."

Roman was on the floor now curled up against the wall, his body was shaking with heavy loud sobs. It was to loud, his voice was to loud.

"Wow." Romans head shot up, this time the voice wasn't just in his head, it was right in front of him. Virgil looked disgusted, as if looking at something worse then trash... And maybe he was. "Do you have to make yourself everyone else's problem? No one wants to see you like this. I thought Princes where strong. I guess not."

His words replayed in Romans head, like a skipping CD raising in volume every repeat. "W-What?" Roman asked, his voice broken and far to quiet.

But Virgil heard him just fine. "I know you heard me just fine Princey. Why do you lie like he does? Maybe you should join them. I wouldn't be surprised if you do. You would betray us, wouldn't you??" Virgil yelled, small tears running down his checks smearing his makeup.

Roman blinked, when did he start crying. Oh god he made Virgil cry. Oh god oh god. No, no he didn't mean to. He was sorry- oh god how horrid was he to make Verge cry. He stood up as fast as he could on shaky legs. "Oh god, Virgil I'm sorry-"

Virgil scoffed, "You are just like them, aren't you?" He wiped his eyes and shook his head. "I thought I could trust you.." He whispered before putting his hood on and walking away from Roman.

Roman hurt, his head hurt, his eyes hurt. The ego himself hurt.

He was broken. He couldn't breath. He sunk out of the hall, and into his room. The mirrors that once had been whole, were now shattered. Thomas's ego threw himself onto his bed. Bruised and broken, vowing not to come out unless absolutely necessary. Completing forgetting about looking for Thomas' logical side.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Anxiety vs The Rejected~

Remus swung a baseball bat as hard as he could into basically anything in his room. His own laughter bouncing off the walls. He was upsettie spaghetti, Thommie didn't like his ideas as much as Romans. Not that Romans weren't good, but they didn't have Remus flair!

Remus wanted to be noticed not rejected! He really wanted even just one of his ideas to be at least considered- But if they wouldn't listen, he could make him self heard!

Remus let out a blood curdling scream, the baseball bat changing to a sword as he stabbed a wall and leaving it there. He let out a laugh before letting out a sob. But normal tears where Roman thing! So boring! So he cried battery acid, it burned, but at least it was interesting!

He tried to rub it away, but it only made it worse and more painful the more he rubbed. He let out a frustrated scream as it burned, snapping his fingers and the acid was gone, no marks on his skin.

"Haha Remus, maybe acid wasn't the best idea! Maybe milk! Ooooo chunky milk tears!" He started to cry again but with chucky milk, it smelled horrid, perfect!

Thomas cringed at the idea of chunky milk tears, but pushed the thought back. He hugged a pillow to his chest, his eyes where glued to the TV. He didn't understand why he felt so shitty today. Sure he and his side got into a argument, but he normally didn't feel this bad afterwards.

Remus snicker and wiped away the tears, grabbing a stuffie (a Pumbaa stuffie from lion king, Janus had given it to him, and Remus had given him Timon) hugging it close to his chest. "Pumbaa? Imagine if you had real organs and not fluff? Well not you. JayJay spent a long time working on you, so maybe a different stuffie, cool idea right?" Remus bit his lip in thought. His mind spiraling down a rabbit hole- pfht- of that idea.

He set Pumbaa down on his one nightstand, and grabbed a notebook and a simple blue pen and started scribbling down notes against the wall. Randomly yelling out what he was writing, or letting out a laugh. His mood going up now that he could write out an idea. That he could do it with out being told what he was doing was bad. It felt amazing.

There was a knock on his door, and Remus' face split into a grin. "Come right on in hoe bag!" The door opened and Remus spun around notebook held out in front of him, excitement flooding him. "Look at this Janu- hold on, your not Double Dee!"

Virgil stood in his doorway, eyes glancing around the room, the disgust evident on his face. "I see you still don't know how to clean."

Remus quickly closed his notebook and held it to his chest. "Nope! Cleaning is for losers who don't like the adventure of trying to find shit!" Remus said, feeling that he had been a bit to loud. And the worry was proven right when Virgil flinched at his voice and looked away.

Remus cleared his throat and made sure his voice was at a more 'inside' volume. "So, um," he cleared his throat, holding the notebook tighter. "Whatca doing here raccoon bitch?"

Virgil eyes jumped up to Remus and down to his notebook, "Isn't that your idea notebook or some shit?" Virgil asked, ignoring his question.

Not very sneakily, Remus thought, but had something else he was more forced on. "Its none of your business, maybe it's porn!" He giggled, knowing it wasn't the best lie, but it really could be porn, if he knew himself.

"You know Thomas doesn't like your ideas, right?" Virgil asked with a sneer. His voice heavy and gross. But not in a gross way that Remus liked, this gross felt heavy and sticky. It felt like his words clinged to his very skin. And no matter how hard he rubbed at his skin the feeling wouldn't leave.

Remus did not like sticky.

"Well you know Thomas doesn't like being anxious right??" Remus snapped back, a moment or two late. Making it noticeable that he was affected by his words.

Virgil smirked, having noticed that his words had the affect he wanted. "Well at least I have a purpose, I keep him safe. Not tear him down."

Remus huffed, his hands starting to rip at the edge of the notebook. "What do you want Anxiety?" He asked, his voice dark. It washed over his room marking the temperature drop a degree or two.

Virgil finally walked out of the doorway and into the others room. Stepping over and around anything on his floor. "I want you to stop existing." He said bluntly. Stopping once he was an arm length away from Remus.

Remus snorted and then started full on laughing. Even going to the extent to slap his knee, once he caught his breath and straightened (ha) he looked at Virgil, raising one of his eyebrows. However Virgil didn't look as amused. "What? I'm a part of Thomas. He needs me to be whole! I can't just stop, ya know, being. Like, I'm not you! I'm not gonna be a dramatic duck and duck out- oh, oh shit." Remus' eyes went wide, one even popped out of his socket which he quickly pushed it back in. "That's not what you meant, right Verge?"

Virgil smiled sickly, "I'm glad you figured it out so quickly. I was worried I would have to explain it for your tiny dumb brain." He took half a step closer, and Remus tensed up.

Remus dropped his notebook. And summoned his morning star, "I think its time for you to leave. You're not welcome here anymore." His voice dropped to gravely tone. His room walls shook violently, as stuff fell off. Pumbaa took a dive off the table to the floor.

Virgil's face pinched as he seemed to think it over. He gave a bitter sweet fake smile. "I don't think I will Remus." And with that he jumped at Remus.

Remus went to swing the moment Virgil moved but something held back his morning star, he glanced over his shoulder to see webs over it, connecting it to the wall. Oh fuck- and then he was knocked into the wall. He immediately started to struggle and screaming.

Webs were sticky, webs could caught you and keep you there.

And Remus was fucking shit his pants scared.

Virgil growled and covered his mouth, a sticky substance climbing from his sleeve and covering his mouth.

"No! Fuck no!" Remus tried to screamed, some of it going into his mouth. He gagged and threw his head back and forth.

The webs covered his arms and legs, pinning him to the wall. Virgil stepped back, panting lightly while smiling at his handy work. He wiped his brow before bending down and picking up Remus notebook and opened it.

Remus struggled harder, Virgil wasn't suppose to look though it, fuck! The stickyness of the webs made him so uncomfortable, he wanted to rub his skin with an metal sponge until it was all gone. He gagged at the feeling of it over his mouth, and tried to scream, but barely any noise got through the thick web covering his mouth.

Virgil tutted as he looked through the note book. "All of these are horrid- and I thought Romans ideas were shit!" He let out a chuckle before ripping out a few sheets.

Remus whimpered, eyes going wide. He shook his head wildly. Those where his ideas! He didn't care if Virgil liked them, he didn't care if everybody hated them! He just couldn't have them ruined, they were his! And he loved them-

Virgil rolled his eyes and rip the papers in half and then into quarters, and he kept going until the papers where confetti sized.

Remus had thick milk tears running down his face, pooling on the web gag. He wanted to yell, he wanted to hit Virgil. He just wanted Virgil out. But he was stuck. Quiet literally. 

Virgil tore up the rest of his ideas, and then threw it like confetti into the air. He smiled and dropped the cover of the notebook before turning around and walking towards the door. While going out of his way to stomp onto Pumbaa.

Remus growled as loud as he could, thrashing against the webs. Don't fucking leave me like this, you motherfucker! Fuck you piss bitch! He tried to yell against the gag.

Virgil smirked, and opened his door. "Wouldn't it be such a shame if your door lock? So no one could come in?" He chuckled darkly, "Or get out?"

Remus was rightfully freaked out, No! Satan's asshole, please no! The idea of being alone, no one knowing, no one being able to hear him shook him to his core. Whether or not Virgil could do it, didn't matter. Remus' thoughts were already running wild. What if he died here? Alone, even unable to scream?? What if there was spider babies in the sack on his mouth and they hatch and eat his face???

His thoughts were interrupted by his door closing, and the sound of a lock clicking. If he was freaking out before, he was losing his goddamn mind now. He couldn't make sense of his thoughts, the sticky webs seemed to be more sticky and climbing over his skin.

I need out, I need out, I NEED TO GET OUT!

That one solid fact stuck out in his mind, and he tried to sink out, only to find out.

That he can't. He just can't, no matter how hard he tried.

His mind turned from painfully full to excruciating empty.

Milk tears ran down his face and dripping around the web mask as he sobs went unheard.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~Anxiety vs The Protector~

Janus gripped the plate harder than needed, as the sound of squeaking shoes came down the stairs. He set the plate into the soapy water, clenching his jaw. The horrid squeaking made its way to the kitchen to right behind him. His back was stiff as he grabbed a sponge and started washing the plate.

He wasn't dumb, this wasn't the first time. It just had never been this extreme. As Self preservation he could always tell the stability of the mind as a whole, and right now everything was crashing to the ground.

"What the hell have you done to everyone Virgil?" Janus said in a calm voice, his angry barely noticeable. Like the last burning coal in a fire pit filled with charcoal, hard to see, but still able to burn. And if the right breeze blew, that single coal could start the spark to burn down a forest.

He kept his hands hidden in the soapy water, scrubbing the plate, hiding the ever so slight shake of his hands.

"Why do you think I had anything to do with it? We both know your the one that hurts Thomas." Virgil replied, his voice oddly soft which was off putting.

Deceit, gave a dry single 'Ha' as he lift the plate out of the soapy water and into the clear rinse water. The soap bubbles from the plate and his shiny gloves spreading out on the clear water. "Now Virgil, I'm suppose to be the lying side. You wouldn't want to be like evil old me, right?" He chastised lightly, shoving down any of his fear. He needed answers, he needed to know what happened so he could help others. To get Thomas stable.

Virgil growled softly, inching closer to Janus' back. "Deceit, you fucking snake. Trying to turn my own words against me?"

Janus rolled his eyes pulling the plate out of the water and placing it in the already half filled dish drainer. "Well, Anxiety, you shouldn't have said it then." He pulled out the plugs from both sinks and watched the water spin down the drains.

Virgil hissed, standing right behind him now. His eyes watched over his shoulder as Janus pulled off the bight yellow rubber washing gloves from his hands showing his scaled hands. "How does it feel to be the monster of the group?" Virgil's voice dripped in false honey, as if asking how Janus' day was going.

His breath hitched, it stung him somewhere deep. It hurt. But he couldn't focus on it at the moment. He needed to stay focused.

He pulled a pair of soft yellow cotton gloves from his pants pocket, slipping them on over his scaley, bumpy ugly hands. Hiding the sight of his hands from both of them. He turned to face Virgil, keeping his face blank. "I don't know, how does it feel?"

Virgils face flushed in anger. Unlike Janus, he felt no need to hide his emotions. His emotions fueled him, pushed him to do what he was doing. "Shut your fucking mouth!" He shouted, getting even closer to Janus face.

The threatened snake growled in warning. His scaled half of his jaw dislocated and dropped, showing off his sharp teeth.

Virgils brow furrowed as if in thought, and Janus felt a cooling pressure surrounding his head, pushing into his brain. "No-" he gasped out as he fell back, his hands catching on the counter, holding him up. Water droplets from the sink darkening his gloves. "You don't get to fucking try that shit on me!" Janus hissed, the pressure intensified before backing off. He winced, eyeing the other in front of him.

Virgil had a shit eating grin on his face, the rest of his face was relaxed. He had found what he needed, and Oh good God was this going to be fun-

"Do you know the real reason I left DeeDee?" Virgils voice was fluffy and sweet like cotton candy. Janus didn't trust it, he didn't trust him. His head ached from the earlier pressure. But maybe if he let Virgil talk he could figure out just what happened.

"I totally do, VeeVee," he spat out the nickname harshly like it had burned his mouth, "You defiantly told Remus and I the reason why, before you left. You, for sure, didn't just leave one day. No note or anything."

Virgil rolled his eyes with a sigh. He looked down at the ground and scoffed the floor with marks with his shoes, "Deceit. You're the reason. You're the reason I left, I couldn't handle you. Always lying about the simplest things.  Not caring about us. Me and Remus. You only ever cared about yourself!" When he started his voice had been soft, but by the end of his rant he was yelling and his voice was breaking... In pain?

Janus mouth was open, he couldn't help it. He was in shock. Damn, he was expecting it, but it still pained him. His brain seemed to grow heavy, he blinked hard, his mouth closing, and refocused his brain. No. He couldn't give in, Thomas needed him.

But Virgil wasn't done.

"Deceit..." He let out a soft, wet chuckle, "You're the reason I ducked out. Your voice haunts me every moment of everyday of my life. I can't stand you. You hurt everybody, you infect everyone you come in contact with." He was staring holes into Janus, the other was breaking before him. His eyes were clouded over, his human eye had a single tear drop out and roll down his cheek. And oh, did it feel great to break him. He just needed to do one last hard hit to get him to completely fall.

Janus was shattering like glass, and he knew it. He just needed to hold out a little longer. He wasn't sure what he was holding out for any more at this point, he just needed to hold on.

But Virgil sound hurt, maybe he really was that horrid. To dive someone to stop doing what they are made to- to drive someone to try to not be. Dear lord, he was a monster. A tear welled in his human eye and slipped down his check.

"You pushed Remus to it too..." Virgil muttered, pulling his hood over his head. He brought his hand up to his face as if wiping away tears.

The snakes legs shook, barely holding him up. "What do you mean, Virgil?" He ask softly. His voice was laced in pain. Virgil had to be lying, right? Remus was his best friend. They shared ideas, watched movies, made dumb plans on how to bug the others. Janus didn't hurt him, like that.

Right?

Virgil sighed, tired, as if he was explaining something simple to a child. "I meant what I said Deceit. Remus has ducked out, and you pushed him to it." Virgil let out a sob, "He ducked out because of you." He lifted his head to look at Janus, "Why can't you just let us be happy?"

Janus shattered into a thousand pieces. His legs gave out and he fell to the floor. He was the one to protect them, not hurt them. He had caused pain. He hurt Thomas, the main person he was suppose to care for. And now his best friend was- no! He could fix this. The lights had helped Virgil, he could help Remus.

He got back up, it was hard too, but he needed to correct this. He had too. He could feel the very foundations of the mind splint like old wood. He needed to fix this. He took a step towards the stairs, up the stairs was his and Remus' room. And once he figured out how to get in his room, he would help his best friend. Because that's what friends do. He had tunnel vision, all he could focus on was the stairs, and getting up those stairs and to Remus-

He took another step towards the stairs, but hand on his chest pushed him back. He turned his head to the owner of the hand, Virgil.

Virgil gave a shake of his head, "Janus," Janus felt a shiver run through his body, this was the first time his name had pasted his mouth, "Do you really think he would want to see you?"

He slowly sat down on the floor again, pulling his knees to his chest. The sound of shoes squeaking echoed in his head, even after the actual noise was to far away to hear. He couldn't really see anything, everything was to blurry with tears. He felt broken and dumb. How could he have been so selfish and not notice what Remus was going though?

Janus gasped, maybe Virgil was right. Virgil would be the one to understand what Remus was going through. Janus nodded, he would give Remus time.

He really was a monster, wasn't he?

[babyybitchhh]

Thotty Thursday: Part 2

The second installment of Thotty Thursday is upon us. Rejoice, heathens!

Now, let me just say that I’m picking dudes at random while trying to keep things balanced between old shows and new ones but ... y’all really bout to notice some patterns the more we do this so I’m just gonna wait for someone to call me out tbh. 😰

FYI, I like to think of myself as an equal opportunist thirster and if a dude is hot then he’s hot. I’m not one to question this shit. But when you get right down to it I have like four types: high IQ smarty pants, dummy thicc, dad and bad boy bastard. Our next snack belongs in the last category, without question.

He’s honestly prettier than me and that is not an exaggeration but don’t let his good looks fool you

This Arabian Nights styled dime piece has a mean streak a mile wide. Because of Reasons, ofc, but that don’t change the facts

Not only did he once punch a child in the face for no other reason than to assert his dominance (fact) he also pretended to cry in front of the person he hates most just to laugh about how they fell for his (flawlessly executed) act

He honestly may or may not have a few screws loose but that’s part of the appeal, you see. It adds a dash of spice to the meal

And you know what they say about crazy bitches in bed 😏

Full disclosure, I started reading Magi: Labyrinth of Magic before the anime aired and his name was originally translated as Judal so that’s what he’s always going to be in my mind. The official translation is Judar, and I respect that, but at the end of the day I do not know her

Judar who?

Can I also just take a moment to point out that gloriously long, thick braid he’s sporting tho

This man has hair for days and there’s just something I find incredibly attractive about that

I want to take it all down and carefully comb through it, play with it and style it again 

Really show him the attention he deserves

If he decided to suffocate me with it, well, I guess I wouldn’t complain about that either

Now, the setting alone had my interest PIQUED right out the gate because I love Middle Eastern inspired aesthetics and I truly don’t think it’s utilized as a setting half as much as it deserves to be. It’s very beautiful imo and the anime team did a pretty good job of capturing that vibe but if I’m being honest I think the manga was better (up to a point)

However there ain’t nothing quite like seeing your man move on screen or hearing his voice with your own two ears and when I say Judal put on a show each time he showed up ... 🥵

I think I can safely say my pussy clenched whenever I got so much as a whiff of him possibly making an appearance, PHEW

He’s just so pretty and mean

My favorite combo tbh

“But why do you like mean boys so much 🤔?” You ponder aloud and my answer to that is “I don’t know. I just do.”

Judal gets my kitty purring for a variety of reasons but the biggest is probably that I can’t look at him without imagining myself as his feisty little slave girl, wearing nothing but sheer silk and delicate gold chains, completely at his mercy ...

Oops, did I say that out loud? 😳

I mean, can you really blame me when he’s running around in those baggy harem pants though?? Can you really???

So the first thing you probably thought was: damn. This guy kinda dressed like a thot 👀

And you’re not wrong

Does he HAVE to dress like that? Strictly speaking, no. But I am definitely not complaining about his fashion choices

His titties are so close to popping out of that tiny little shirt that we’d be getting nip slips left, right and center if he had any more meat on his bones than that and trust me when I say he did that shit on purpose

This boy is SUCH a fucking tease and he loves the attention it gets him - first and foremost because he’s used to being the CENTER of attention but we’ll get more into that a little bit later

Hes just a tad 👌 narcissistic, loves to show off, definitely bipolar and is in a constant state of feeling himself so he’s hitting all his marks as far as I’m concerned

In short, he’s perpetually oozing big dick fuck boy energy and I live for it

That’s why he’s always showing up with that stank ass attitude, he knows damn well he can pull the baddest bitch around AND her man too

He’d fuck you and your boyfriend at the same time just to prove a point, that’s actually how petty he is

Honestly though I’d like to see ANYbody maintain their resolve when he’s laying on the charm and Judal’s just cruel enough to do it for shits and giggles

Probably wakes up in the middle of his sprawling imperial bed at two in the afternoon and says something like “damn, I need a little pick me up today” and then proceeds to manipulate and harass his lucky unfortunate victim of choice

He’s relentless too and will stop at absolutely nothing to get what he wants, even if that means breaking you in the process

Again, I like the challenge he represents

But also I just like a man who can make me cry 🤷‍♀️

And I don’t doubt he absolutely would. Tears probably turn him on tbh and I’m positive he’s got a bit of a yandere streak too

Are y’all seeing those patterns yet??

So did you guys notice that wand he keeps twirling around like a goddamn baton?

He’s a magic user, or in this case a magi which means he’s literally at the top of the food chain in this universe

He’s special special

Every ounce of confidence he has is rightfully deserved and even tho he’s not the strongest per say, he IS extremely powerful and his destiny as a magi is to influence the world

THE WHOLE ASS WORLD YA’LL

That’s why he’s got such a big fucking ego

I promise these aren’t major spoilers, so you don’t have to worry about that

When he was still a (too precious for words) child, he was abducted by an evil cult so that they could manipulate him and use his powers to influence shit in a bad way. The exact details of what they did to him are hazy, but based on the snippets we did get it seems like they basically put Judal on a pedestal and raised him as if he were some kind of god or a king

I’m talking waiting on him hand and foot, giving him whatever he wanted, essentially worshiping him and using persuasive mind control magic to convince him that he’s the best thing to happen since sliced bread

And it worked

Can you tell exactly how fucked up this kid is right now

Keep in mind here that I’m not saying his screwed up personality isn’t the result of some seriously bad mojo

Magi are supposed to be what tips the scales of fate in this setting which, generally, means for the betterment of the world and this whack ass cult pointedly steered him down a path he otherwise would not have gone

But it’s this tragic past of his that really brings the whole package together

He could be a mean pretty boy for no other reason than because he wants to and I’d still drop into a split on his cock

I like mean for the sake of mean too

It’s just that knowing what made him the way he is gives us the perfect amount of insight to truly feel sympathetic despite all the bad shit he has done and will continue to do

Personally, it makes me want to be the one to show him genuine, tender affection no matter how much he’s initially appalled by the mere suggestion so in a lot of ways it’s similar to how I feel towards Hiei

But that doesn’t mean I want him to change and start being n - 🤢 start being nice - 🤮

He’s perfect just the way he is and there’s just something about big, confident egos that gets me going like little else

And Judal seems to truly believe he’s the greatest gift the world has ever received and he’s not wrong about that imo so yeah he definitely has an attitude problem

But that also means he’s a spoiled brat tho and he’s definitely one of those dudes who needs to be dommed on occasion to really get the full experience 👀

I am not too shy to pin him down and milk his cock for all it’s worth, that is all I’m saying fam

And can I just point out how breathtakingly gorgeous he’d look all flushed and sweaty, whimpering like a needy little bitch in heat while having his prostate relentlessly teased for hours on end?

Goodness, it suddenly got HOT in here, is that just me??? 💦

Ofc the only way that’s gonna happen is if he allows it - which I don’t see being a common occurrence - but that’s why you gotta take advantage of that shit when it does 👀

On the topic of Judal being spoiled, I want to mention that there are actually TWO very different backdrops that I can thot around with him in, and I like that

There’s the fantasy Middle East setting ofc which I personally can’t get enough of

I’m wearing the slave girl Leiah outfit in my mind right now btw

But he also spends a lot of time in this worlds version of ancient China complete with all the dramatic robes and elegant architecture to really set the mood

He has an entire imperial palace on lock and if that doesn’t get you even a little bit horny then idk what to tell you

The royal family for the most part treats him like one of their own despite not being related in any way, if that tells you exactly how much clout he pulls in this setting, and even tho they’re essentially using him for their own gain Judal doesn’t seem to mind it one bit

He likes being at the top and having the freedom to do whatever he wants so if that means doing a little dirty work for the Kou Empire then so be it

And I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t be a ride or die on these little errands

Like, just imagine this pretty boy pulling up to you on his flying carpet (that’s not a joke or something I just pulled out of my ass btw) and asking if you want to come back to his crib for some fun

You say yes, because you might be a thirsty slut but you’re certainly not STUPID

And he straight up takes you to a fucking palace

Be honest with me guys, how fast do the panties come off tho?

Be real with me here

This is actually just the plot of Aladdin but with the gender roles reversed 🤣

Fr fr though, A Whole New World plays softly in the back of my mind every time I think about this dude, except it’s much darker and ... explicit 😏

But my point here is that Judal’s got basically everything he could ever possibly want so he really just needs a pretty little concubine at his side to complete the picture

And I dead ass feel like it should be ME

When I say this man could get it ....

OOF

He is TROUBLE in its purest form and I regret nothing about my choice in fictional men

Absolutely nothing

He could honestly fuck me up seven ways to Sunday and I’d thank him for the honor

Spit on me, king. Please. I don’t need nothing else to sustain me

Unless you want to throw some of that choice dick in for free? 👀

Lord  have MERCY

[artificialqueens]

Lemon's Misadventures in Dating, Chapter 6  (Lemon x Everyone) - Mermelada

A/N: Hi everyone! Here’s chapter 6, as seen on Ao3! I found out that Lemon’s irl mum is Scottish, so naturally, I had to include her as a character and base her on my own! More is coming soon, so watch this space! :D I love you all!!

[07:24] HEY GIRL!

[07:24] I’m so sorry but I ate your sister for breakfast

[07:24] She was a grapefruit lololololol

[07:24] I’m sorry please don’t hate me

[07:24] But she was delicious

[07:25] So what’s the tea on Little Miss Lemon? I want to know everything! What’s your favourite type of pasta?

Lemon read the messages again as she sat at the kitchen island, sipping her coffee. She couldn’t help but smile. That was not what she was expecting at all from Priyanka, she looked so poised and regal in all her photos, yet in reality she was coming across as a complete goofball. Although it had been three hours now, and she was still awaiting a reply.

[09:58] Umm how fucking dare you?

[09:58] Don’t even expect me to respond to that until I get a full apology, you murderer.

Was the joke not obvious? Fuck, what if she thinks I’m serious? But then she started it…

“What’s got you smiling, princess?”

She jumped with shock as her mum walked through the door, placing her handbag on the counter and opening the fridge door. She knew her mum only worked a half-day on Thursdays, but her sudden appearance was a surprise nonetheless. Lemon felt like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t be.

“Oh, nothing,” she sang, quickly locking her phone and putting it back in her pocket, away from prying eyes, “how was work?”

“Well you’re not acting like it was nothing,” teased her mum, moving around the kitchen in a blur as she prepared her lunch. “Is it a girl?”

Lemon failed to hide the blush rising on her face, she knew her mum meant no harm, but she was not prepared to get into a conversation about dating and hookups with her so early in the day, and with so little alcohol to hand. “Muuuuuuuuum” she groaned, hoping that the coolness of her hands would remove the redness as she placed her chin in her palms.

“I’m just glad you’re happy, darling, you deserve it after the summer you’ve had!” Lemon couldn’t deny that her mum had been an absolute angel these last few months. She listened to Lemon way back when she had first admitted that things weren’t working like they should be, and never once offered any judgement or tried to convince her to stay. She had even helped Lemon move her things out of her old apartment as quickly as was humanly possible for the pair of them, while she was at work. “Are you up to date with your tetanus shots though, because you’ll need one if she’s doing that to you!”

Just when Lemon felt she couldn’t get any redder, her mum’s finger was poking the mottled bruise peeking out from under the loose collar of her t-shirt, her whole body burning as her mind flashed back to the moment it had been placed there… the body above her trembling, grabbing a handful of platinum hair as they grinded against each other’s thighs, the muffled cries in French… “Oh my god, mum, please stop!”

“What?! You can’t just disappear for two nights in a row and not expect me to be curious! What’s her name?”

She audibly groaned at her mother’s prying tone, laying her head on the cold marble countertop. “Mum, I love you, but I am not having this conversation with you right now!”

Fucking Rita, I’m sure she’ll find this funny at least, Lemon made a mental note to text the other woman later, wondering if she’s had any similar happenings with her work colleagues, or if she had enough experience - and common sense - to hide the evidence of her Tinder trysts better. At least she had put on leggings after waking up today, as shorts would have only showcased an even more incriminating patchwork of colourful marks across her inner thighs.

Her mum simply smiled and wrapped an arm around her from behind the high kitchen chair, planting an affectionate kiss on her daughter’s temple. “Well, you know what I always say, pumpkin, as long as you’re happy and safe, go out there and have fun! Are dental dams still a thing? Do you need some?”

Lemon could only muster a grunt in response, her head making an audible bang as she threw it onto the counter, deeply wishing that the conversation was over. Right on cue, she felt the phone in her pocket buzz with a new notification. She practically leapt off her seat, ready to run to the safety of her bedroom. “Well, on that note, I’m going to remove myself from this deeply uncomfortable situation. Thank you, mother!” 

“Ooh is that her texting you? When are you seeing her next?” The enthusiastic questions fell - as her mum expected - on deaf ears, Lemon gulping down the remainder of her cold coffee and placing the empty mug in the sink.

When she finally reached her safe haven, she pushed the door closed and jumped back on the bed. Despite knowing her parents wouldn’t mind at all, she still wasn’t ready to admit she was trying to move on, let alone with an assortment of random ladies from the Greater Toronto Area. She grabbed at her phone excitedly, her eyes lighting up when she saw that Priyanka had finally answered.

[13:35] My dearest Lemon, I must beg for your forgiveness, for I have sinned gravely. Upon awakening from my slumber and entering my cooking chamber, my stomach began to sing a dreadful tune. In the search for something to quell its anger, I encountered a grapefruit, as cute as your face and as juicy as your ass probably is. With no other option, I slaughtered it, dressed it with some sugar, and devoured its flesh. Would you please accept my most sincere apology in the form of a drink sometime?

This crazy bitch. No other interaction on the app had left Lemon feeling so giddy, her heart had sped up and her stomach was doing somersaults. Yes yes yes yes oh my god of course! Luckily her common sense kicked in, and she realised she should probably act a bit less… desperate.

[13:40] Let me think about it

[13:41] Loljk of course!

[13:41] Any day/time work best for you? I’m afraid I’m fully booked this weekend

[13:41] Mourning my sister and all

[13:41] (I mean the grapefruit btw sorry that could have been weird)

Luckily, she didn’t have to wait long for a response. 

[13:42] LOL I’m glad it didn’t turn dark

[13:42] Any night that’s not a school day is best for me!

[13:43] Speaking of which I better get back and entertain some little people, ttyl xo

[13:43] KIDS, btw, just in case xx

Lemon shook her head as she smiled, Priyanka was certainly something else. Cute, funny, sexy… hopefully she didn’t ruin it by having bad breath or murderous tendencies. She couldn’t explain it, she already felt something special about the girl, something she hadn’t felt since- no. Let’s not ruin a good thing by thinking about her. But the more she looked at Priyanka’s profile, the more memories of Juice kept flooding her mind. Taking a moment, she sat on the floor, stretching her legs out in front of her and breathing deeply and rhythmically, a makeshift meditation to nip any panic in the bud.

Is it still too soon? Maybe I’m not ready to be moving on if I still think about her so much, and if I still get so emotional doing so. Images of the former couple danced around her head; walking hand in hand, snuggling on the couch under blankets, even just helping each other cook, or drinking coffee in bed on a rainy morning. I thought it was what I wanted, but maybe I was wrong. She sat silently for a few minutes, trying her best to think of nothing but a dark sky filled with distant, twinkling stars, but even that took her mind back to the nights they’d spend wandering around their neighbourhood, talking about their hopes and dreams, where they’d live once they got married, how many cats and dogs it was acceptable to have. It seemed like the natural course for them, but not everything can work out the way people want it to. 

She didn’t know whether it was the buzz of her phone on the bed behind her, or Gus’s gentle panting as he pushed through the door which awoke her from her semi-trance, but she took the opportunity to stand up and shake the stiffness out of her body. It was a natural impulse to bring her hands to her eyes to wipe away her tears, but she was pleasantly surprised to not find any there today. Maybe things were getting better after all. 

She and Gus both slid onto her bed, the dog circling three times before plopping himself down in the crook of Lemon’s elbow, which she rewarded with a firm scratch under his chin. Picking up her phone, it buzzed again in her hand with messages from Rita.

Dr Rita <3 [14:02] shared a link

Dr Rita <3 [14:05] Bonjour! How are you today, mon citron? I had a nap after work and I am now ready for the gym :-O Last night a colleague told me about this dance school where his daughters go, a teacher is pregnant and will need someone to cover the classes when she is off. I thought of you :-) I hope you slept better than a baby! X

Dr Rita <3 [14:06] Also I found a bruise on my ass yesterday, I was in pain every time I was sitting down, thank you very much…

Lemon had always believed in fate to some degree, and upon seeing the link Rita had sent, she had no doubt that destiny had been on her side during the events of the last few days. She stared at the familiar tan bricks of her old dance school, the smiling face of her old principal teacher finally giving her the push she needed to get back in the saddle. She threw on a pair of jeans and a woolen cardigan, replying to Rita with one hand as she pulled on her ankle boots with the other.

[14:10] Merci merci, I’ll check it out!! Have fun at the gym, you crazy pomme! How was sexy kidney lady? 

[14:11] And de rien 😘 my mum saw the one on my neck today, she thinks I’m being bullied 😞

Jumping down the stairs two at a time and shouting a quick goodbye to her mum - closing the door before she could hear the inevitable embarrassing reply - she walked as quickly as her legs could possibly take her to the dance school, a path she had already walked hundreds of times throughout her childhood. Even if they said no, she would sign up to classes or find some auditions, how could this not be a sign from the universe to start dancing again? As she reached the heavy iron door, she checked her phone one last time.

Dr Rita <3 [14:14] Courage, ma belle! They would be idiots to not want you! Well, she made me my favourite tea and told me she liked my lipstick, so I think we are married now?

Dr Rita <3 [14:16] And I am so sorry! :-( Do you have arnica cream? I hope your mother knows it was at your request? ;-)

She had really lucked out with Rita, she needed a good friend like her in her corner right now. And as she stepped inside, navigating the bright corridors to the principal’s office, she was really glad she’d downloaded Tinder.

[adonisstyles]

Can you write about Jealous Harry? Like I'm a ballet dancer and because sometimes I have to "seduce" and be very intimate with my partner in ballets, I can totally imagine Harry getting jealous. Btw I really like you and really love your writings❤

A/N: First of all thank you so much! I had so much fun writing this and there will be a sequel. Maybe later today, maybe tomorrow. Please forgive any technical errors as I did ballet as a very young girl but never on pointe and never IN a ballet just recitals… so… 

When you found out you’d gotten the leading part in the company’s production of Carmen you were elated. It wasn’t until Harry showed up to watch a dress rehearsal that you were suddenly very conscious of how sexually charged the part was. Carmen lusts after the male lead and pursues him fiercely even though he already has a girlfriend. The part required quite a risque set of body language.

When it came to the dress rehearsal you tried to shake the nerves. You popped in your earbuds and blasted your warmup tunes, trying your best to drown out the worry. By the time “lights out” call came you’d completely forgotten Harry was watching from the audience.

You pirouetted and jete’d, cabrioled and foutee’d. You seduced, lured and for this brief moment in time- lived the role of Carmen. Your partner, who played Don Jose, was a handsome well-muscled man. Most ballerinos were msucular but lithe. It wasn’t hard to feign attraction but that’s all it ever was- feigned attraction. The man could lift you but the man was also happily married with two little girls.

When the rehearsal ended and you heard a familiar whistle from the back, fear dropped down your spine. You executed the shakiest révérence you’d ever done and skittered off stage. You entered your dressing room and waited with baited breath.

A few knocks signaled Harry’s arrival. You opened the door to reveal Harry’s frame, his arms crossed and brow furrowed. His silence was not a great start to this encounter.

“So, what’d you think, Haz?” you ushered him in to the couch in the dressing room.

“I’m not sure if I like the way you were touching on him,” he huffed. He flopped onto the couch and took on a sulky posture.

“What do you mean?” you asked, trying to skirt what you knew was obvious. “My character is supposed to be a flirt.” You came around the side of the couch to perch next to him, still in your rehearsal tutu and pointe shoes.

“More importantly, not sure if I like the way he was touching on you,” his hand comes to rest on your bent knee, his thumb rubbing circles over your tights.

“Never considered myself a jealous man,” he says as each of his hands grabs a thigh and tugs you onto his lap. He begins undoing the hook and eyes of the bodice. His bare palm on the small of your back presses you closer to him.

“But seeing another man think he can touch you like that,” he whispered against your jaw.

You take his face between your hands. “It’s just acting, just dancing. I don’t have any feelings for him.”

“You’re amazing at what you do, you pulled me in,” he stutters in disbelief. “I believed it. I hated it but I believed it.”

He presses a bruising kiss to your lips and slides his hands underneath the bodice pulling it further down. You both stand, not breaking the kiss. You slide the outfit down your legs and kick it to the side. You begin to slide off your underwear and tights to your knees. Harry has already gotten rid of his shirt, boxers and skinnies. In a rush, he rips the crotch of your tights and underwear.

“Leave the shoes on,” he mumbles against your lips as he pulls you back down to straddle his lap. His hands glide around your ribcage around to your back and down to your bum. His hands trace the outside of your thighs to your ankles where he fiddles with the ribbon. The kiss gets sloppier as you grind down on him. You’re positively dripping and you are sure Harry can tell. One of his hands slips between your thighs to stroke you.

He smirks into the kiss and pushes himself into you. You throw your head back exposing the column of your throat, arms around his neck. His lips trace the column of your throat. His hands on your thighs help you find a rhythm. Your knees chafe painfully against the fabric of the couch, but you’ll be damned if it gets between you and this orgasm.

“Can Don Jose get you off?” Harry grunts into your neck. His thumb rubs circles around your clit, teasing you, not quite giving you the pressure you desire.

“No… h-… he can’t…he wo-..he won’t,” you stutter out. The coil in your belly is winding tighter and tighter. “Only you Haz.”

His lips move to the crest of your trapezius, right next to where your bodice sleeve would rest. He nipped, sucked and laved a spot there. You both knew your costume would not cover the mark. Every night of the production you’d be reminded who made the mark.

The tingle of the fresh bruise set off the spring in your belly. Your clenching sets him off and you collapse into his arms as he settles back on the couch. Once your breathing settles, you level Harry with an unimpressed look.

“Got a hickey on my shoulder and rugburn on my knees,” you remark. “I’m gonna get hell from makeup tomorrow.”

“Sorry ‘bout the bruise,” he smirked. “Just thought it’d be a nice reminder.”

“Yeah, well don’t need much reminding,” you remarked. “Don Jose is happily married with kids. No competition you twat.” You push his shoulders back and press a peck to his lips.

[fitzykreiner]

hello, do you mind me asking what happened with sleepy hollow? I only watched the first season lol

not at all! okay so first off, congratulations on escaping the train wreck early. second, there was a shitload of bs happening behind the scenes, 99% of which we are still in the dark about. the rest is under a cut bc damn.

BUT ANYWAY, the biggest point is that they killed abbie off. like full stop, not joking, they legit killed. her. off. which was a good/bad thing. good, bc nicole was being treated like shit bts & wanted off the show so she could get herself out of the situation. bad, for obvious reasons. also bc they actually thought the show could continue w/o her. 

the first big problem they had was gradually shifting the focus of the show from abbie + her relationships w/ jenny, ichabod, & irving (+ the various other characters in her life that they either killed off or conveniently forgot abt lmao.) to ichabod’s crusty-ass boring-ass family and past. as u saw in the s1 finale, abbie stayed behind in purgatory so ichabod & katrina could leave. katrina stayed, continued to be a fucking nuisance at best, & they introduced a cool new mysterious character played by john goddamned noble and ruined it by making him ichy & floptrina’s nasty-ass son, also the horseman of war. oh and also death is actually ichabod’s old bro w/ a hot bod who was all set to marry katrina b4 ichy waltzed his homewrecking ass in. anywho, boring boring boring bullshit that had way too many storylines happening at once, none of which were interesting in the least. i genuinely forget if we already knew the henry/jeremy and abraham stuff in s1? so if i’m repeating things u already kno, forgive me. i feel like maybe by time s1 was over we already knew henry was actually jeremy who was actually war, bc wasn’t he in 1x06?? whatever, don’t care, he’s a piece of shit

the second big problem is that they sidelined and/or got rid of all of the poc/good characters: luke, irving, cynthia, macey, andy, ABBIE, JENNY, all while introducing cardboard cut-out white people/BAD characters no one gave a rat’s ass abt. oh and also corbin was like completely forgotten abt, until his son came into the picture and they mentioned him like…….twice. but yeah lmfao, it was a miracle if jenny showed up for longer than 3 min & abbie was continually given the b plot and less screen time. 

the third big problem was that they FORGOT ABT THE MAIN FUCKING PLOT POINT. that abbie and ichabod were the WITNESSES who were supposed to be WITNESSING THE APOCALYPSE. like i’m not even shitting you, the apocalypse ceased to be A Thing. (btw what the fuck happened to moloch???? i don’t even remember,) death/headless horseman/abraham was given humanity & a storyline no one asked for & they were really trying to push a weird romance angle between him and katrina since they were together when he was still ~alive. war/henry/jeremy was the next horseman to be introduced, simultaneously w announcing he was the demon spawn of ichy/floptrina. so that was something we had to suffer thru. Crane Family Drama was a BIG tag in this fandom during that time. no one cared. everyone hated it. even the fucking ichatrina stans started getting tired of it, if that tells u anything. so anyway, once death and jeremy were dealt with, idk?? they just forgot abt the apocalypse being a thing???? fuck knows, man. i’ve almost successfully blocked most of the bs in my mind.

during this time, ~s2, orlando got fired. or he was “asked to leave”, so, you know. my man hadn’t given a fuck before, getting fired just let him release the last of the fucks he had. also during this time, the writing was just getting worse and worse. i mean, BAD. like it was on a steady decline since b4 mid s1, but s2 was the relatively small cliff of bad writing before the exponentially cavernous shit hole that s3 became. they started treating abbie like SHIT during s2 and ichabod continually resembled more and more of a flaming bag of dog feces.

but yeah, s2 finale, katrina has revealed herself to be the evil-ass snake we all knew she was, tho the writers copped out by saying she was good the whole time until she started to feel bad for her shitty son & decided to side with him. whatever. bitch was evil from the start. in the finale she starts up this spell to send herself back into the past to kill ichabod to nip the whole resistance to the apocalypse thing in the bud. in the middle of doing that, abbie jumps after her, so they both get sent into the past. there was some admittedly very cool parallels to the pilot w abbie waking up in the forest and stumbling around & bending down to touch the road she comes across, etc. long story short, abbie meets up w past!crane, they go to franklin first, he dies, then they go to grace dixon, & she’s able to send abbie back to the future and reverse the spell. so abbie and katrina are sent back to present day and kathy is pissed as hell that abs disrupted her plans and goes to kill her, but crane stabs her ass b4 she kills abbie. everyone rejoiced at that, let me fucking tell you. that shit was therapeutic. 

s3 starts, they’ve already lost a lot of viewers throughout s2, but the stragglers are still clinging onto the show bc the s2 finale gave us hope that they might be able to dig themselves out of the hole they wrote themselves into. boy were we wrong. it started out alright, we all had high hopes. abbie had left to go to quantico & had become an fbi agent. crane was……..fuck knows. i think he took a sabbatical or some shit bc of the ~grief. it’s been like a year or whatever and all the sudden abbie is bailing his ass out of prison. he got a boy band haircut. they introduced a new guy, daniel, also fbi, played by lance gross, and teased a relationship between him and abbie. they also introduced a new villain pandora, fine, and breasty ross, who added absolutely fuck all to the story and just complicated their poorly thought-out storylines even further. also there was an angel???????? idk, i think he liked abbie and ichabod got jealous. that may have even been in s2, i don’t fucking remember, i wasn’t religiously watching at this point bc i had some sense of self-preservation. daniel was promising, and black, and a love interest for abbie, so of course his ass got the axe. there was a weird and uncomfortable bones cross-over. like, a cross-over with the show bones, on fox. in a desperate attempt to rake in viewers. it failed, to say the least. 

i don’t remember the details tbh, but s3 finale abbie essentially sacrifices herself, again, for ichabod. only this time it was permanent and it was somehow even WORSE bc they had her do it just to further ichabod’s man-pain and journey. they literally had her say that her job as a person and as a witness was to further him, the white guy. she told him and jenny to take care of each other and fucked off to the afterlife. after which, neither of them really mourn this?? whatsoever?? and we find out abbie’s soul was actually placed into a little girl? fuck i have no idea, i didn’t watch it. so anyway, abbie’s dead, ichabod moves to washington, dc, and the show is somehow still crawling along while disemboweled, dragging itself along the dirty ground w bloody hands, begging for the sweet release of death. the writers refuse, and beat the dead horse even deader. bring in a new batch of characters, jenny & joe (corbin’s son) are somehow still relevant, ichabod is a shadow of the man he used to be (mostly due to t-mis’s hilariously lacking acting job, praise be). i can’t tell u anything that happened in s4 bc i at least loved myself enough to not watch that horseshit. 

all in all, it was a cocktail of good ol’ racism, bad writing, and arrogance that was shitty hollow’s downfall.