#also assume connections to ur hearts desire !!

[melonteee]

Hey Melon!

I was watching your video on chapter 1113 & when you were talking about Sanji & Bonney's I got so excited. I hadn't initially noticed all the childhood parallels between them (agree with u 100% tho), but I do think Sanji is becoming her favorite Strawhat & that they have a dynamic/growing bond that Oda seems to want us to pay attention to.

However, I was assuming that Bonney was sort of imprinting (might not be the best word) on Sanji. We all know Sanji is very kind to girls so I think Bonney has only seen his best side & I think his specific brand of kindness might be reminding her of her daddy. Kuma & Sanji also both have terrible martyr complexes so she might be getting the same vibes from them & naturally gravitating towards Sanji because of it.

For all we know Bonney will be a true orphan after the arc and since she's still so young it would make sense for her to be looking for a parental figure even if it was subconsciously. That coupled with the points you brought up of how Sanji would be able to understand her in a way maybe the others wouldn't makes me more confident in my gut feeling.

I personally believe Bonney is actually being set up to be the last member of the crew so Oda adding in this dynamic between her & Sanji would help her integrate better. Maybe Oda wants Sanji to parent & mentor a child the same way Zeff did since Sanji looks up to & desires to emulate the kind of man his "true" father is? He has such a strong desire to protect & it would be sweet to see him able to put all that energy towards one person.

I also just think it would be funny to give Sanji a surrogate baby sister/daughter given how outlandish he can be sometimes. We already have Bonney calling him a "good man" (ur like 10 girl what do YOU know 😂) so imagine Bonney being very confused as to why Sanji doesn't get bitches & her trying to be his lil wingman? Their dynamic has a lot of potential for humor & tear inducing moments me think. I'm also very much a girl dad Sanji truther so anything that can quench my thirst for it is great in my book. Give it to me Oda. I'm begging you!

This is so long I'm so sorry! Thanks if you bother to read all of it 😊

Well see first of all Sanji DOES get bitches, it's just that HE'S the bitch that gets GOT and he's oblivious to it, so jot that down!

Second of all, Sanji and Bonney have a very interesting relationship at the moment. Sanji clearly wants to be a positive figure in Bonney's eyes, and wants to be the one to protect and save her - and one of the reasons is because Sanji is softer towards girls. But there's also the fact that Bonney is doing everything to find her father, and we must remember how Sanji reacted to Kinemon and Momonosuke in Punk Hazard,

Sanji's heart immediately softened at Kinemon saying he was looking for his son, and while he had an odd relationship with Momonosuke, Sanji still cared for and protected the kid. Sanji has a REAL soft spot for anyone with a father/child relationship, probably because his OWN blood father sucked, and his ACTUAL father was a man who took Sanji in despite it all.

I don't think Bonney will join the crew because I really cannot imagine Nami accepting a child on their crew for the unforeseeable future, especially in such dangerous waters, but Sanji and Bonney's parallels really break my heart.

The fact the two of them have loving mothers who gave their lives for them. They both have blood fathers they'd despise and, no doubt, have complicated feelings about their blood. They both have ACTUAL fathers who adopted them and sacrificed SO MUCH for their futures.

They seem like mirrors of each other in a lot of ways, and Bonney is also using Sanji's name specifically, so she must feel a strong safety or connection with him. Sanji is trying to help Bonney, to keep her safe, and to keep KUMA safe, because HE experienced all these turmoils and traumas as a child too. Sanji watched Zeff sacrifice so much for him, his heart would BLEED for Bonney - who is watching HER father do the exact same thing.

I'd say it's much more of a big brother/little sister relationship between them, but it's also something more than that, because Sanji is saving a kid he would truly see himself in.

[zisurru]

shit anon once again ty for your response

unfortunately yes i do mean the whole turning - i’m not sure how into it i’d be irl, but reading about it definitely; as for why personally probably partially a really intense dennis cooper phase when i was relatively young (still king of my heart), and with iwtv it’s like okay he’s a dead body

like the disgust of that, all of his bodily fluids being forced from him without his control - it’s not graphic at all in the book, louis is very demure about it which i think is funny. yeah girl beautiful women don’t poop 💖

we don’t know really know anything about his life pre brother death, but safe to assume he’s incredibly repressed, and here’s this beautiful guy, who wants to whisk him away, who reminds him of his brother who’s death he feels responsible for.

Like he wants Lestat to kill him, we don’t know if he’s ever had sex with another man before, but from his whole deal i think it’s safe to assume he never ‘initiated’ or ‘asked for it’. but like he wants this to happen, he kills the overseer (before the actual act he keeps changing his mind, and lestat has his arm wrapped around his chest, and in the book louis bullshits daniel, like my fate was sealed from the first night i saw him 😔).

and then that boy is murdered and the murder is the sex act — like there’s this trope of sublimated homosexual desire leading to violence / murder and the sex-death drive, and i’m not getting into how i feel about that lol, but obviously here lestat is not repressed at all and he’s doing the murdering; but it makes me think about how louis is perceiving it or wants to perceive it. like that desire mingled with alienation and contempt and terror to the point of masochistic anguish.

and obviously in tvc blood sharing and taking a life is the ultimate pleasure etc.

i’m rambling but in short i think what does it for me is — deeply repressed, overcome with grief over his dead brother whom he feels he killed, seemingly the perfect sexual and romantic partner who he mistakes at first sight for dead brother, but he can’t admit to himself that it’s sexual or romantic attraction, the murder, being completely overcome in every way by this guy, but the aftermath of it too. like his body won’t decompose, he doesn’t disappear, but his body is dying - anne rice doesn’t go into it and i’m not sure about vampire biology, but what i think is the sex is over, he’s dead and his muscles loosen and his bowels release. like that boy is a dead body now and lestat did that to him. and it makes me feel a lot of things and it also makes my dick hard.

sorry for vomiting in ur inbox idk how much sense this makes lmao

i am aslo a fan of ur writing btw!

that’s a detailed breakdown thank you for sharing anon. sex and death are obviously intimately connected concepts but i’ve never heard it described quite like this before

and thank you! my stuff is pretty light and low-stakes obviously but i do understand the appeal of like…overwhelming shame vs. loss of control vs. desire and alienation from desire. louis is the perfect vessel for that because he’s SO repressed that you want to puncture him with a pin like a balloon that’s been filled up too much and see what comes out

[archiefm]

status: open to anyone  @roswellstarters​ location:  alien gulch  — roped-off area of desert ; home to alien gulch skate shop/park & paintball rental.

          word on the street was that it once used to be the landing site of a ufo. more likely than that, it had been a disused quarry that got filled with concrete with the plans to build something there, but those plans never came to fruition. it felt apt somehow that archie now worked here, in a place where dreams fell through, but the loss of another was his gain. in the few months they’d been renovating it, it had gone from a lowly bowl of tarmac surrounded by broken glass and beer cans to an actual decent spot where a scene was beginning to evolve. new kids showed up, board in hand, every day asking for new wheels, a fresh deck, the loosening of their king-pin, a one-to-one training session on how to drop-in. even the paintball course that ran through frazier woods had one day been just some bong-brained idea which the locals had thought would never make it out of a shitty hotboxed car.  it’s days like this when the sun is low in the mid-morning sky and he’s wiping the sleep from his eyes as he potters about the skatepark, sweeping up the debris, that archie feels a swell of pride in his stomach. you did something, dude. right on.  

          he’s so swept up in a warmth for what they’ve built here, that it isn’t until he looks up he notices the figure standing by the house, a disused bungalow they’d turned into the skate shop slash office slash diy music venue, splattered wall to wall with camouflage paint. skating over, archie skids to a stop a few feet in front of them. “yo, sorry, bro! we’re not actually open ‘til eleven, but feel free to stick around here until then.”  it’s only fifteen minutes or so, though there’s nothing stopping archie from opening up the makeshift reception centre now. “i can go book you in now on the ipad though. were you here for paintball or the skate park?”  he starts, fiddling with the keys on his wallet chain as he pats down his pockets for his employee card. “or did you just need to use the restroom? we don’t need to book you in for that... there’s a whole bunch of portapotties about fifty yards thattaway.” 

[sawyerstm]

‘   WE  WERE  FRIENDS  ONCE ,   ’   she  reminds  the  other ,   brows  raising  as  she  takes  a  sip  from  her  third  margarita .   her  cheeks  are  beginning  to  burn  red  from  the  smooth  tequila  that  was  sliding  down  her  throat .   her  latest  single  played  overhead   ;   the  slow  ballad  taking  over  top  40  radio   &   streaming  services  beyond  control .   it  wasn’t  something  she  necessarily  wanted  to  hear ,   not  when  she  was  supposed  to  be  in  a  happy  place .   but  as  she  looked  over  at  the  other ,   her  emotions  mixed  together  wildly .   a  lot  of  feelings  were  showing  up ,   not  all  of  them  pleasant ,   but  damn ,   sawyer  wanted  some  type  of  connection  right  now .   or  at  least  closure .   ‘   okay ,   maybe  not  friends ...   but  we  were  something .   c’mon ,   let’s  get  a  drink  in  you   &   we  can ...   figure  this  out .   ’   now  that  she  was  taking  a  break  from  touring ,   she  was  lonely   &   that  loneliness  was  creeping  out   &   becoming  apparent  as  sad  eyes  looked  up  at  the  other .   /   @shstarters​

[slcder-blog]

slader was ZOOMING down the boardwalk, skateboard wheels scraping against wooden slats as he dodged oncoming pedestrians. he was used to the dirty looks - fanny-packed tourists shooting daggers at the ‘ dirty hoodlum ‘ skating just a little too close to their kids - but he returned their scowls with a big fat smile. heavy wafts of funnel cake and boardwalk pizza through the salty air elicited a RUMBLE from the depths of his belly, distracting him just long enough for his front wheel to lodge itself between two of the planks. catapulting through the air, the graceless boy landed...HARD. a defeated groan escaped his lips as he scraped himself off of the boardwalk and met the eyes of the boardwalk-goer he’d collided with. “ yikes, am i right ? “ he chuckled nervously, rubbing painfully at his shoulder. “ listen dude, i’m really sorry - that was totally my bad. are you good ? “ 

[kallulovesu]

Heyooo :) can you do headcannons for a platonic yandere allies ?? Am aroace so that's the kind that floats my boat, also do you ever feel tired of writing ?? Like .. ur so productive, it's awsome but like .. I hope ur doing it cuz u have energy not cuz you have followers waiting 😬 take care Plz ❤❤🥺

For the anon that asked that yandere reader ask, thx u inspired this ask ur idea is rad :3

(A/N:) ahh thank you for the worry anon, but it’s no problem really!💞 I wouldn’t be making as much content if I wasn’t having any fun, since it’ll probably end up feeling more like chore...and I hate doing chores 😭

That one protective friend that makes sure to check up on you every second (but it’s turned up to the extreme and downright becomes unhealthy in some cases)™

It was ironic to him. Out everyone that he had gotten to know over all these years— hell, perhaps even Arthur; you were the only one he felt like understood him the most. Not many seemed to notice what was going on beneath the surface of his facade, which was why he appreciated you being there. You still liked him despite the many flaws that he had, and tried your best being with him even if it became downright tiring. Alfred would be heavily dependent on you because of this, often going to you to cheer him up— or before he was going to make a rash choice.

So it was only natural that he couldn’t see himself being without you.

You were like a best friend to him; Alfred would even go as far as to say that he felt a familial connection between the two of you. So the deep desire to protect you was normal, wasn’t it? Even when he felt himself worrying for your well-being at even the slightest approach of a stranger, it was just his instinct telling him that there was something wrong. It wasn’t anything unhealthy. Thus, would usually drag you away from anyone that he found to be suspicious; even those he was already familiar with. This would probably result in a lot of arguments, with him trying to say what was ‘best for you’ and with you denying that you needed this much...protection. You swore that it almost felt like he was just isolating you from the others, to have you purely depend on him for whatever reason you couldn’t make up.

Alfred can’t handle being apart from you— nonetheless the idea of you being angry with him, or even hating him . It truly didn’t matter if the reason was rather ridiculous or not, the idea of you hating him just...made his stomach churn uncomfortably. You were his best buddy, and basically one of the only ones he could trust with his inner worries; and the risk of it all being taken away from him because of a silly, childish mistake was all it took to send the poor boy into a state of panic. Please don’t leave him, he’d do anything to keep you there with him. Begging, gifting— you name it.

Arthur didn’t completely seem to realize his feelings at first, confusing it with romantic attraction for a little while— before quickly seeming to realize that it was all purely platonic. He did feel a bit protective of you, maybe even possessive...but it had nothing to do with romance, nor lust. It was just him wanting to have someone beside him, someone that he could call a friend. And someone that would never leave his side.

It won’t be hard to notice how...bad his communication skills were; with him often saying things that he didn’t really mean and slightly setting you off. Arthur is stubborn, so it may take some time (and slight teasing at how much he hesitated) for him to actually apologize. You’ll probably get used to it after a while, since he’s one big tsundere.

Saying this out loud was an absolute no-no for this man— but you being around Arthur was often enough to make him the slightest bit happier. It felt a bit lonely at times, especially with less and less people being around him these past few years. So having you as a friend almost felt like a breath of fresh air.

He’s very critical of those you choose to be around with, often analyzing even the smallest of things so he can determine if they’re actually worth being around you. Which more often than not ends up... not being the case. Arthur will tell you to stay away from them; saying that they were suspicious, and probably had something bad in mind. He’ll resort to isolating you if you were to disobey him, trying to take as much of your attention— and perhaps even kidnapping you if the extreme were to happen. You were his one and only best friend, and he had to make sure you were safe. Always.

Totally the big brother type...well, he usually proclaims himself as being one, so it isn’t that much of a surprise.

Francis will make sure to absolutely pamper you with his attention; hanging out with you, sending letters whenever he was too busy...and simply sending gifts from France. He simply couldn’t let you go off feeling unloved!

He adores talking about you; usually going off on a mindless ramble whenever someone even mentions your name, like a proud father showing off his child. Others will usually compare him to one due to how much he adores talking about you— or simply the way that he treats you. Which would quickly be disregarded with a: “oh, I’m no father! They’re just such a nice little friend to have around, who wouldn’t want to praise such a delicate person?”

On a second note....he actually did feel like a father figure to you. Huh.

Francis will often suggest helping you out with your love life, perhaps even gushing over cute guys together that you found on a random dating app— before quickly realizing that he didn’t really want this. Those silly moments were fun and all, but having you talk with someone that could just be out to use you made him a bit angry...and paranoid, mainly the latter. He will make sure that anyone that even so much dares to get close you first gets his approval first. The feeling of a broken heart was all too familiar to him, and he didn’t want you to experience such a thing.

This may result in him checking up on you...an awful lot, making sure that those around you were only the best of the best and wouldn’t end up being bad influence to you. Yes, he truly was like a father.

A sibling-like person in his life that he didn’t feel insecure against and acknowledged him as his own person? Fuck yes!!

Jokes aside— Matthew really does care deeply for you. Perhaps it was due to the Canadian barely having those that he could...truly call close friends, so having you around almost felt like a blessing. Unlike Francis, he won’t really show you off or talk about you much, especially around his brother. The American had already stolen enough from him, so why would he let something like that happen again?

He’s extremely wary of anyone that even so much tries to make a move on you. It’s just...you were someone that he held extremely dear; and having you potentially getting hurt due to some lowlife that managed to slip into your life would absolutely break his heart. Matthew didn’t want to fail in protecting you, he would never forgive himself if something like that were to happen.

Losing you is something that he wishes to avoid completely. He’ll even go as far as kidnapping you if it came down to it, Matthew just couldn’t see himself living happily without you by his side.

Yao likes cute things...and you’re a cute friend, so it’s a perfect match!

But seriously, he thinks that you’re absolutely adorable. Whether it be because of your personality— or your appearance, it really doesn’t end up mattering in the end. You’re his cute little friend, and that’s all that matters!

He’ll often treat you with more, yet gentler care than most of the others around him. He knew that you were well capable of taking care of yourself; but he just couldn’t help but see you as something fragile, something that he had to protect. So you can already imagine how frustrated he gets when someone treats you with even the slightest bit of disrespect— Yao will often confront them immediately, while you awkwardly have to sit back and watch it all. Almost feeling pity for the person that had to endure your friend’s seemingly never-ending complaints.

Oh, he probably doesn’t quite realize how he comes off as a father at times; seeing how much he’ll scold you for the smallest mistakes (while making sure to correct you of course!) and how he usually made decisions for you, making it hard to refuse his gestures due to his pushy nature. But it’ll probably become a normal thing for the two of you as time progresses, since it’s just...how Yao was, you assumed.

His controlling behavior will also reflect on how he treats your personal life. Yao is very selective of who he lets you be around with, so he’ll often look at your acquaintances and friends with a very critical eye, immediately expressing his distaste in them if they were even to do the smallest thing wrong. “Such a brute isn’t worth being around, (y/n).” Yao will warn you to stay away from them, but won’t bring it up any further if you decide to do what he says. If you don’t then...well, he had special friends to help him out with his dirtier work.

Yao might consider kidnapping you if this behavior keeps on repeating, but won’t feel compelled to actually do it unless something bad were to happen.

Ivan will always try his best to be there for you! While it most likely won’t quite work with him being a rather busy person; a country, nonetheless, but he’ll do his upmost best. It was extremely hard for Ivan to make friends that...weren’t scared of him or secretly disliked him, so having you was such a relief!

Being his only friend, he’ll make sure to be absolutely devoted to you— perhaps in a way that wasn’t too healthy in a friendship, and would often be looked down upon by those looking at your relationship from an outsider’s perspective. But could one truly blame him? Ever since he was born it felt like everyone around him were either toying with him, or were utterly terrified of the boy expect for his two sisters. It was lonely...so it isn’t hard to imagine how overjoyed he was once having you in his life; someone that didn’t display the usual fright whenever he approached them, nor did you look like you were out to hurt him.

Ivan appreciated you a lot.

It wasn’t hard to imagine that you’d most likely become the target of a few other countries, your connection with Ivan wasn’t extremely hidden from the outside world... (from how much he’d senselessly mutter things about you when daydreaming, and the many times he stuck by your side) and so, others would take it to their advantage. Those like Alfred will probably try convince you to leave Ivan’s side, spewing terrifying stories of the man to try and stir up something inside of you so you could leave him. It was mainly for your own safety, yes. But it was also to make the Russian weaker. It was obvious that he was depending on you heavily, and losing you would...god forbid if that would ever happen. Ivan would completely lose himself, perhaps even snapping completely.

So don’t hesitate to tell Ivan if someone was bothering you! Ivan will make sure to get rid of the little parasite from your life in an instant, giving them a short warning whenever the two come across each other...and making sure that he got his point across! It’s better to ignore their sudden disappearance after that day, since someone like them wasn’t worth lingering in your mind.

[the-ghost-king]

love seeing ur tags on my posts it means i get to think 🥰🥰 anyway mostly agree but at least to me nico’s constant need to prove himself is a sign of feeling like he’s not worth other people’s time and effort and he has to MAKE himself worth it. he does all he can in the hopes that people will notice him and tell him that he’s good enough because he relies on the approval of people he loves. he thinks love is something conditional for him and that he always has to be earning it because he doesn’t have enough worth to have it just granted to him. again this is more my own interpretation of his character and possibly a bit of projection

(Post)

I will not fail to acknowledge that I might also be projecting somewhat onto Nico, what is media but self reflection? I think there's a couple ways you can see Nico that are canonically "correct"

What I personally think happened with Nico is that he was aware he was worth more than the treatment he was receiving, but because so much rejection occurred he eventually just assumed he was the problem. There's things on this I would rewrite now but it holds up okay in what I'm about to try and explain.

The thing about being rejected is that the first time you argue it's the other person. And the second time you'll argue it's still them. If you're still arguing it's other people the third time, maybe but it's thin ice... But eventually you just have to accept that you're at fault.

I think this is something that really describes Nico. He is never able to nestle himself in the comfort of sameness after a certain point. He is not given authority in his own story in the beginning, he is thrust into solitude, he is told he is a monster already and if not then he has no choice but to become one.

And he takes this blame upon himself, believing that it's him who has to prove himself. He doesn't acknowledge that maybe other people have their own biases against him, he says "I have to prove them wrong," and then does his best.

It's important to note that Nico is definitely grappling with Childhood Emotional Neglect, he's in a broken situation- and he recognizes that nobody wants him around, and that he's just more stress for an already stressed group of people, so he just backs down and starts to figure stuff out for himself. We see him accept some help and friendship from The Stolls in TTC but eventually he stops doing this at some point.

His leave from camp and time with Minos is when he is used:

you unknowingly wear your heart on your sleeve and people will see this and take advantage of your trusting nature and unconditional love and they’ll never really love you they’ll just see you as an easy tool to be manipulated and used how they see fit and you won’t recognize that this is a bad thing because you don’t believe you’re worth anything more than this

This is something I would say is very true about this time period of Nico's life. Minos emotionally exploits Nico, emotional neglect and abuse (possibly physical abuse, who knows) are defining characteristics of their interactions. Nico talks about how Minos will just randomly leave him for extremely long periods with no assistance, and about how when he's around he's always telling Nico to try harder, to do better, do more. Note the time he tells Nico "you have no power over me", he's definitely holding things over Nico's head. I don't think it's wrong to assume comfort is a part of that, Nico is alone all the time at this point, and I'm sure he's starved for touch, and support, and connection- and he will take whatever he can get whether or not it is good or right.

At first he doesn't do anything against this, and it might be because he was so starved for attention that he was willing to endure abuse to receive somewhat a consistent form of it. I also think there's some evidence that points to the idea Nico was getting something from Minos, training and similar stuff, it's possible he was willing to form and upkeep a toxic relationship with him in order to gain experience.

However, I do disagree with "and you won’t recognize that this is a bad thing because you don’t believe you’re worth anything more than this" because Nico does realize eventually that his situation isn't sustainable and that he has to do something- so he takes his narrative back into his own hands:

“Minos laughed. "You have no power over me. I am the god of spirits! The ghost king!" "No." Nico drew his sword. "I am.” (X)

So Nico, if he ever thought he was worth the treatment of being used for someone elses personal gain, he definitely overcomes some of it here, if not all of it. Nico is manipulated and used for Minos's personal gain, but he recognizes that it's not sustainable and makes a stand for himself. And this is the first time in the series where Nico truly is able to take control of his own narrative, everything before this moment is Nico being forced, or Nico with something looming over him, Nico crowning himself is him claiming his story.

So let's consider Hades in all of this, I don't think Hades manipulated Nico to the extent Minos did- but nonetheless, he did manipulate and abuse him, and this hurt Nico more than when Minos did it. Again, in the situation with Hades this is also true, "you unknowingly wear your heart on your sleeve and people will see this and take advantage of your trusting nature and unconditional love and they’ll never really love you they’ll just see you as an easy tool to be manipulated and used how they see fit and you won’t recognize that this is a bad thing". By the time Nico and Hades truly start interacting, we see that Nico's heart hasn't been fully removed from his sleeve, but it may have been lightened.

Here's the thing about the way Nico approached Hades, it's not naïve to trust family. The text in multiple places implies that Hades was around for at least a handful of years when Nico was a kid, it's not unlikely that Nico may have taken naps on his shoulder, held his hand to cross the street, maybe called him "Papa", "Dad", or "Tata" (Italian, English, old Greek). It makes sense that Nico goes to him, what doesn't make sense to Nico at first is that Hades would manipulate him. Unlike many of the other demigods, Nico knows he was a choice, and that at some point he was something wanted, so he expects some level of okay treatment from Hades. Hades loved his mother, and Hades if not wanting of Nico would have wanted Maria's wishes fulfilled, and Nico probably remembers Hades treating him warmly- or at least not harshly. The way Nico went to Hades makes sense, he wasn't expecting open arms surely, but he also wasn't expecting abuse.

Hades emotionally exploits Nico by using information about Maria, what would a little boy want more than the safety of his mother? He's so starved for human contact, who ever held him more than his mother? Who ever loved him more than her? Once Nico delivers Percy to Hades, his father crushes him, not only by harming Percy but by exploiting Nico's trust through Nico's mother- one of the things he's most desperate for.

We see Nico's heart come off his sleeve at this point, maybe not fully, but enough to where a stranger couldn't recognize it at first glance, and in a way where he has the means to hide it from most.

Except we don't see much of this, because the series is narrated by Percy- and Nico can't hide his heart from Percy.

Almost everything Nico does, everything he tries to do, is for Percy. Nico is so desperate for contact that he is pliant, but in Percy's hands Nico actually wants that contact, he's not interested in imitations of love or substitutes- he's looking for the real thing.

And Mr. Oblivious does-Annabeth-like-me Jackson isn't in any headspace to realize that a boy might like him, let alone Nico. This concern that Nico will join Luke, isn't entirely because Percy is misreading signals, but it's definitely part of it. Nico likes Percy so much that at one point he is willing to go to Tartarus if not entirely for him, then partially for him.

If Percy had realized, and rejected Nico- maybe he would have joined Luke, or at least he definitely would have been more likely to. The perception of Nico we get in PJO from Percy is unreliable, because Percy looks at Nico through the lenses of a concerned older brother, and Percy feels guilty in some way for the situation Nico is in. This gives not only a skewed, but slightly falsified narrative of who Nico is.

The original post of mine I linked, although yes, I would like to rewrite aspects of it now it holds up in the sense that Nico is always trying to prove himself, and this is a bit different than being a puppet. Nico is so starved that it is present in everything, @/arabnico gets it right:

nico’s longing is just so raw it consumes him whole and he cannot hide it at all because it reflects in absolutely everything he does and is nico’s just the means of the way for them and he settles for being it because he doesn’t think he can be much better or even deserves to it is sometting so twisted because nico has this innate utalitarian desire to be useful and to do something and to do the right thing but in the game of things he’s reduced to that puppet in the hands of fate and deities millennia older than him that see a wounded wandering soul doomed to be forever alone by a destiny so cruel it keeps him on his knees

Nico, in PJO especially, has little control over his own narrative. His mother is killed in punishment for his father's "wrongs", Nico is forced to endure this. Bianca grows tired of caring for Nico and leaves him behind, this is not Nico's fault but Nico is forced to endure the consequences of her actions. Bianca's fate is decided on a quest Nico isn't even able to go on, he is forced to endure the results. Nico then breaks the cycle, declaring himself The Ghost King, and dethroning Minos. Nico is forced to endure Hades's manipulation only because he did not see it coming, this wasn't an aspect in which Nico didn't have his narrative (he had already taken ownership of his narrative) but a blind spot in his rational.

The place where we vary is why Nico behaves this way, we can agree that it's because he's starving for human connection- but you believe it's because he has no confidence he is willing to submit himself, while I see his submission as an act of desperation.

Personally, I think to argue that Nico is like this as a result of lack of confidence does a disservice to his narrative (obviously it's fine to view him however you wish, and I wish you all the fun in doing so!). To boil this down to starvation and lack of confidence removes some level of Nico's autonomy in his own life, but also strips him of one of his strongest characteristics- those qualities of him which are like Orpheus.

Nico willing to go to the ends of the earth for love is not a weakness but a strength, his ability to carry on beyond the point in which he needs a rest is not a weakness but a sign of strength. His ability to go to the ends of the earth to right wrongs, and to show his love:

"... Cupid struck, slapping Nico sideways into a granite pedestal. Love is no game! It is no flowery softness! It is hard work- a quest that never ends. It demands everything from you- especially the truth. Only then does it yield rewards."

Cupid is explaining Nico's idea of love in this scene, we see Jason say he prefers Piper's idea of love- but Nico only knows love in the way cupid describes, working desperately for a few moments with Bianca, working just to hear any scrap of information about his mother, always trying to prove himself to Percy- to overcome the way he feels about Percy (and boys in general).

Nico has only known love as something you walk to the ends of the Earth for, but he never stops fighting to be loved and acknowledged. Lesser men would give up and lay down, accept they are unworthy, but Nico keeps pushing to be acknowledged and accepted- to be recognized and loved without having to walk to the end of the Earth, but Nico knows he has to walk to that edge and face it before unconditional love will come to him.

To imply that Nico seeks love the way he does because he's unconfident in his ability to receive love ignores the idea that he's had his life forced into this position because of the fates. It loses acknowledgment to the strength it takes to pick yourself up and walk to the end of the Earth time and time again, because if he was unconfident then he would eventually lay down and accept he shouldn't be loved ever again.

I don't think confidence doesn't play into this at all though, it definitely has some impact on Nico, he does view himself as inherently less (he is overly self sacrificial- think Tartarus :/), and he does try to remove himself from others:

You yourself said: you blame yourself for the way people have hurt you, taken advantage of you, and abandoned you. they exploit your love and your naïveté time and time again. you tell yourself, surely, there must be something wrong with you. because—you are convinced—that people are good. “if they hurt me, it is because i am flawed. it is because i am weak. people will always hurt me—even people i love. it’s an inevitable truth for me.” (X)

And this connects to what I said: "The thing about being rejected is that the first time you argue it's the other person. And the second time you'll argue it's still them. If you're still arguing it's other people the third time, maybe but it's thin ice... But eventually you just have to accept that you're at fault."

I do think there's a reason Nico makes himself so "utilitarian", because he hasn't been handed unconditional love since Bianca. But again we disagree on the why, I see Nico's behavior in his utilitarian example of love as caring, the way more people should be in love. Too many people see love as something given without restraint, and yeah, love should be unconditional but in order for love to be unconditional you have to do the work to lay good foundation. To be utilitarian in loving is not an act of weakness, or a symbol of lack of confidence, it is a showcase of more care in love than most have to offer. We care for things, and place value on them determined by how much love and care goes into those things.

I also don't see Nico's self blaming for what happened as flawed, it's logical in his situation, and a common result of CEN. This self blame shows care and kindness, and this coincides with Nico's arcs, "If I am bad, how do I improve? If I have no choice but to be evil, how do I still be good?". Nico is always fighting not to be recognized for good or bad, but to be recognized for what he is.

Trust is not naivety either, the only reason Nico is regarded as naïve is because of the extreme circumstances of his life. People shouldn't have to expect abuse from people who are supposed to love them, people should have to accept abuse in order to receive love. If Nico's life had turned out different, his naivety wouldn't be viewed as a weakness but a strength- a kindness.

We're not actually viewing Nico all that different, there's this space where his character blurs together, and it becomes an individual duty to determine at what point a flaw becomes a strength, and a strength a flaw. Nico's stubbornness is a flaw if we're thinking about grudges, but it's a strength in his work ethic. Nico's ability to stand on his own is a strength in terms of questing, but it's a flaw when it prevents him from experiencing love in fullness.

[hi-hey-haechan]

can i request mark smut where it's ur first time and he's so sweet yet hot about it

This is something I imagine way more than I probably should. Mark would definitely, without a doubt, would be so sweet and blushy and awkward.

You two had waited quite awhile for it to happen, really. Both of you were too shy to really bring up the topic. The farthest you had gone was kissing, making out for what felt like hours, and dipping your fingers under the hem of the other person’s shirt. Once, Mark became hard while kissing you, but neither of you acted like you noticed.

It wasn’t as though you weren’t ready. To be honest, you thought Mark wasn’t ready. Recently, if kisses got heated, he’d break them apart, as though he was afraid they’d lead to something more. You, however, were ready. When Mark had escaped into the shower to get himself off that one time, you were listening from outside the door, feeling yourself grow aroused at the thought of what he was doing. 

You loved him. You were ready to give him everything, all of you. 

So here you were, straddling his hips and kissing him, just as you had been multiple times before. You had already been needy, somehow. Your senses were so aware of every single move he was making. His hands were gently holding your waist, the intimacy of it sort of making you want him even closer. Sometimes, his thumb would move a bit, and despite the action being subtle, the caress sent the slightest shivers down your spine. Mark’s torso was right against yours, his body lean and lightly muscled under the fabric of his shirt. You wondered what it would feel like to be against him like this, but skin against skin, heart against heart, with no clothing between you two. Mark’s soft lips met yours with fervor, pressing against your mouth lightly. Your lips moved in synch, making you feel even more connected to him than before, in that moment. His tongue was dancing with yours, the movements matching each other, creating an overall harmonious kiss. Mark was always like this, able to match the pace you were going at. The little exhales that escaped from his mouth periodically were low and sexy, the sound itself sending tingles through your entire being. Your heartbeat accelerated at just the sounds themselves.

And this, precisely, was why you wanted him so badly. Every detail you picked up upon was so hot and sensual. Of course, you couldn’t tell Mark this, nor let him find out. You could just fix the problem later. 

Right as you were wondering why he hadn’t pulled away yet, his lips parted from yours. You wanted to chase after his lips, capturing them in another searing kiss, but he’d pulled away for a reason, you assumed. This time, however, you asked about it.”You okay?” you inquired, “whenever we kiss, you just...pull away. Can I ask why?”

His swollen lips sort of parted in surprise at your inquiry, but he recovered from the slight shock almost instantly. “I just...” he hesitated. “I, uh don’t want to make you uncomfortable.” Mark’s gaze had flitted elsewhere, no longer looking at you, much less at your eyes or even your lips. 

“By kissing me?”

The tips of his ears had turned red, and he was looking anywhere but at you. A couple times, he opened his mouth a bit to say something, inhaling a bit, but no words came out. He gave you an imperceptible shake of his head, his dark hair ruffling a bit.

“Are you referring to that one time you were hard?”

“Well you don’t have to say it like that!” he exclaimed, face flushed.

You had to force yourself to stifle a laugh. “What, say it like it is?”

“Dude, stop!” he protested, ducking his head.

“Baby, listen to me. That did not make me uncomfortable. At all.”

“Just...you know how we haven’t gone that far yet, and I don’t want to push you until you’re ready.”

“Mhm,” you said absentmindedly. “Can you do me a favor?” When he looked up to meet your eyes again, you slowly leaned forward. Your face neared his, scanning his eyes for any doubt or even desire. Neither were present.

“Favor?”

You said two words, two simple words that spoke everything you felt in that moment: “Kiss me.” It was sort of a plead, and your lips were so close his to begin with. You wanted him to close the distance, though.

His lips met yours again, and your stomach was alive with butterflies. Your core was also throbbing with how badly you wanted him, but you didn’t care. This kiss was so sweet and slightly hesitant. You could feel his heart hammering in his chest, which caused your lips to curl up into a grin. 

Your hands clasped at the nape of his neck, thumbs caressing the short hair that you could access with them. You didn’t resist the urge to move your hands up further, tangling in the strands of his soft, silky hair. Lightly, you tugged on his locks, bringing him even closer to you. Mark’s mouth opened in surprise, and a gasp was stifled at the back of his throat. 

You shifted slightly on his lap, and that was when you felt it. His hard-on was pressing directly against your crotch. The sudden friction against your pulsing core felt so good, so incredibly good, and you wanted to press closer, to grind yourself down on his erection. 

“Fuck,” Mark swore against your mouth, immediately breaking away from you. “I--I’m so sorry.”

“Mark, it’s okay.” It was actually way more than “okay,” but you didn’t want to make him feel uncomfortable or rush him, 

“That’s why I always break away, you know,” he admitted. His eyes met yours, and they were wide and shining, looking so innocent. At the same time, his pupils were blown wide in his eyes with desire. From the sight alone, you felt your pussy gush, and you had to clench your jaw to prevent from moaning. “Because I can’t control myself when you’re kissing me like that.”

“Kissing you like what?”

“Like I’m the most important thing in the world, like you love me so much and you’re trying to portray it through your kisses alone. I would know, since I kiss you like that, myself.”

“And I kiss you like that because it’s how I feel about you.”

His cheeks flushed, and his bottom lip caught between his teeth. It looked so attractive, but you weren’t gonna tell him that. “I’m just...” he struggled to find the right words. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Mark, baby, it’s human; you can’t help it. Besides, did you ever consider the fact that I might want you to react like that?”

“You want me to get hard while kissing you?” Mark’s voice was incredulous, and his face had a puzzled expression. You, amidst your neediness, couldn’t help but inwardly smile because of how cute he was.

“Is...is that okay?” you, yourself were growing slightly shy, heart fluttering and face heating up.

“We haven’t talked about this before, really, is the problem. Of course, it’s okay,” Mark replied.

“You’re right, we haven’t talked about anything like this before. But maybe we should.” You couldn’t help but think about how it felt to feel his erection pressed against your core, something you’d wanted to feel for such a long time, something you’d imagined countless nights prior to this one.

“Now?”

“Yes, Mark, unless you’re gonna go jerk off in the shower and make me listen to you from outside the door again.”

Your boyfriend spluttered, coughing out of surprise, as well as embarrassment. “I had no idea you heard that.”

“Believe me,” you laughed, slightly embarrassed, “I can tell.”

His gaze met your own, the eye contact so intimate that your heart jolted, and you almost wanted to look away. The feelings you felt just from the locking of your eyes were so strong, almost terrifying. “Jeez, I’m sorry. Um, what did you think of it?”

“Honestly? Mark, I was getting myself off from outside the door.”

From under you, his cock twitched in his jeans. You had to force yourself not to grind down on him, as much as you desperately wanted to. Mark’s eyes were wide when they looked at you, as though he could hardly believe what you were telling him. “Fuck,” he whispered, “that’s hot.”

You ground your hips down onto his crotch, unable to restrain yourself. You let out a faint little whine, which was more high-pitched than you thought it would be. Your boyfriend moaned quietly, shutting his eyes for a moment. “Mark,” you whimpered, grinding your core against him for friction, “I want you so bad.”

“Then have me.”

You grinded yourself down on him again, burying your face in the crook of his neck. A sigh left your lips as you inhaled his scent and yearned for more friction.

“Y/n, can I--?” The hem of your t-shirt was held between his thumb and forefinger, and when he tugged a bit, you knew what he wanted. When you nodded, he was swift in pulling it off of you. 

For a moment, every movement he made had stilled, He was taking in the sight of you, Mark pulled your arms away from your stomach gently, his heart aching when he saw you cover yourself up. 

You were quick to attempt to explain your actions. “I just...I don’t exactly have the perfect stomach or the softest skin or the thinnest physique, and I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Mark sounded so incredulous, but his voice was undeniably soft. “You look absolutely perfect. You are perfect.” He wasn’t always the best with words, and he seemed to be at a loss for them, looking at your body. “Everything about you is so...so beautiful.”

You wanted to cry, honestly, hearing such sincere and sweet and beautiful words. His genuine tone made you want to see what he saw so badly, made you feel so loved because you could hear how much be meant every word he said. 

Your hands were tugging on his shirt, showing to him that you wanted it off. When the fabric was removed, you saw his whole torso for the first time. He was thin but muscular, his biceps possessing the slightest curve to them, his stomach flat and tense, without having abs. His entire body was perfect, from his collarbones to his thin waist. You mapped out the smooth skin, trying to memorize every perfect inch of him. The skin of his torso was soft and warm to the touch, the heat inviting. “You like me without my shirt that much, hmm?”

“Shut up. You’re so...you’re beautiful, too, okay?” You kissed his shoulder, and you then shifted yourself around so you were lying on the bed, Mark on top of you.

Mark took his time with you, mapping out every square inch of skin with his hands, followed by his lips. You felt his mouth brush over your collarbones, sparking a fire wherever his lips grazed. His light breaths lightly danced over and across your skin, the heat felt throughout your entire being spreading like a wildfire. You wanted it, though, wanted the fire to burn you. He kissed the exposed parts of your breasts, your stomach, waist, hips, everything. Instead of feeling insecure, you just felt loved.

You each looked at each other for silent permission before removing other pieces of clothing, slowly exposing more and more treasured skin of the other person. His hands on your body drove you wild, having you wanting to beg for more, to plead for him to give you the friction you had been longing for. His touches stirred your body to incandescent life. 

Soon enough, you were skin against skin, hip against hip. heart against heart. His skin was hot against yours, his lithe body pressing into yours. You knew that you could just lie there all day, basking in his comfort and warmth. His arms were under your bare back, holding you close to him, making you feel safe and loved. His heartbeat was steady and present against yours, which was hammering in your own chest. 

When Mark entered you, he was so slow and so careful. How could he not be? He didn’t want to hurt you, and from the contorted look on your face, his length was already splitting you apart. Your fingers, which had been resting on his biceps, were squeezing the ever-living life out of them. A cry left your lips.

“Am I hurting you? Do you want me to pull out?” his voice sounded so concerned, and it was almost as though he didn’t have your wet walls clenching around his length like crazy.

“I’m okay,” you grunted out. “Just, just give me a second.” You moved your hips, trying desperately to find a more comfortable position, one that would hurt slightly less. Your fingers were grasping his shoulders his back for something to help release your pain. It felt like a knife had been shoved up you, stinging from the giant intrusion.

Your eyes were shut, breathless, trying to get used to the pain. Mark’s lips were all over your face, your neck, your lips, doing anything to distract you from the pain in your lower region. 

After what felt like forever, the pain had subsided. “Mark, it doesn’t hurt, you can move,” you told him.    

“You’re doing so well,” he sighed, kissing your  lips. “How does it feel now?”

The feeling of him inside of you was incredible. Your walls were so tight around him, allowing you to feel every ridge, vein, and inch of his length, which was stretching you out so well. You had wanted something inside of you since you two had been kissing, and now you finally had what you wanted -- and it was Mark’s fairly decently sized length.”S-so good,”you managed to get out, in response to your failure to answer Mark’s question.

And when he began to move, you were done for. The way his member felt against your walls was something you couldn’t forget. It felt so good for both of you. Mark was letting out grunts and groans, attempting to grow used to the feeling of being inside of you, who was clenching and who was so wet and tight around his length. You did everything in your power to remain silent, but it was so hard, when every snap of his hips caused him to hit a new spot inside of you. 

He let out a fairly loud moan, which sounded so hot, before he said, “Don’t hold back your moans. Let me hear how good you’re feeling.: The sounds you make are beautiful.”

Just then, you let out a loud moan, core clenching around his length as he hit your g-spot for the first time.You’d never had your g-spot stimulated before like this: straight on and powerful.

“Mark, go faster,” you begged, clenching around his length. You could hear how wet you sounded as he thrusted in and out, but you had no part of yourself that cared.Your legs had absentmindedly gone around his waist, allowing him deeper. “H-how are you so good at this?”

He sped up his hips, allowing a few quiet curses and louder groans to spill past his lips.  “I have no idea what I’m doing,” he replied. It almost came out as a laugh, but you could tell from the sweat on his face and the shaky breaths he was taking that it was him struggling to speak.

Your arms embraced him, bringing him closer to you. Your moans were breathless and sort of whiny, unable to contain how good he was making you feel. 

“Are you doing okay?” Mark asked you. His hairline had beads of sweat along it, and his hair was sticking to his forehead. His voice was breathless, but it was still deep and rich. You decided that his voice sounded best like this, or maybe it was the fact that he was pounding into you that was making you see stars behind your eyelids. Even in the middle of sex, he was absolutely incredible in every way. Amidst his own pleasure, he was asking you how you were feeling.

“Mark--” your sentence was cut off with a moan. Every roll of his hips was filling you up so incredibly well, knotting up the bottom of your stomach. “You feel so good.”

“So do you--ah” Mark was just as close to his climax as you were, and his grunts were even deeper and more drawn out. 

“B-baby, I’m gonna cum,” you whined in one breath. All you were aware of was Mark, and how he felt with his tip hitting your g-spot and how his member felt as it slid in and out of you.

“Me, too, baby.” The sound that was coming from his mouth was more of a whimper, and his eyes were screwed shut.

“Mark, I love you--fuck, oh my gosh, I’m cumming, Mark--” your legs quaked around him, and you violently clenched around his member, stars flashing behind your eyes.

You heard an “I love you” before he shot his seed up inside of you, the heat of it dripping along your walls. He pulled you closer as he came, whines, moans, swears, and calls of you name falling past his lips. You caught his lips in a kiss towards the end of the climax, feeling so close to him. 

Following the session, the two of you collapsed onto your own sides of the bed, panting. 

“How was that?” Mark asked. His voice was slightly horse, undoubtedly from the session right before. He sounded incredible, and when you looked at him, his eyes were so full of adoration.

“Incredible. You were so sweet, Mark.”

“I hope it was hot, too.”

You laughed, and you nodded. When you moved closer to him, it wasn’t to kiss him. You wanted him to hold you in his arms, to love you just as he said he did.

And he did just that. 

This took forever to write; I’m so sorry. Also, it got so bad at the end. Enjoy this piece of crap. I love Mark so much                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

[beanyboobee]

hi! just wanted to say i love ur theories sm! especially the ones about the triangle and reki and adam being like the "devil and angel" on langas shoulder. would you mind expanding a bit more on the meaning of the ending song? i was looking at them and it definitely feels like ranga is going to become canon is some form and that it will be requited at first, then adam gets in the way and its unrequited, and then maybe its requited again? idk thats what i picked up from it but what r ur thoughts?

Awe thank you so much! And of course! I would love to expand more on what I think the meaning of the ending song is! Just keep in mind im using the English translation from YouTube so there may of been a few words mistranslarws but this is why I thonk the song is reki and langa having a conversation. I wont be going word for word other wise we will be here awhile but here's some things I noticed

"Oh let's keep the feelings"

Can have many meanings, and throughout the ending song it changes meaning quite alottm but at the beginning I think what it refers to is skating. And how they need to keep their love for it. This is important as recently in the show Reki seems to be losing his love for it. Blinded by feeling inferior. So what this lyric implies is what is truely important to both of them. And that is keeping the feeling they had when they first started skating.

From deduction I beleive the first verse is Rekis point of veiw

"The road on which the kicked stone rolls, you're stubborn"

As we know Langa is the more stubborn outnofnthe two. Reki is the more carefree and go with the flow.

"There is no distinction between old and new, I like what I always like"

If my thoughts are correct and they are older looking back on their younger days. I think this is Reki admitting that even though they have grown and even if their sneakers have changed they are still the same as they were back then. That his feelings from those days are still as strong as ever.

"I feel like another person for the rest of my life"

Can be a confusing thing to try and deciper as it can have many meaning but my favorite one, is that this is him admitting he wants Langa with him forever. That he doesn't want to be alone, that he feels like having Langa there is what he needs.

This is immediately followed by

"Lets go together. Let's go with you. Beyond the sea of tears, I can move. I can help you "

Furthering the previous statement that this is their way of saying they want to stay together. As we know Reki is constantly helping Langa. Let it be with skateboarding or even fixing Langas board. Rekinis always excited to help. So the mention of helping is what made me think this verse was Reki.

"If you have a feeling. Let's keep feelings. Let's keeping your heart. As we are Happiness with you."

They want to keep feeling this way. They don't want things to change, because this is when they are happy.

To no ones supprise it is blatantly obvious that the boys will find their happiness in each ither. Like rekinsaid his happiness in epispde 1 was skating. So I wouldn't be supprised that in the final episode if the thought of happiness is brought back up and it changes.

"Inside an empty cigar case. I was growing tall now. To be honest. I will remember. Tightly tied laces. Let's make it my favorite color. Its infinite. I like what i always like."

The mention of a cigar case is what gave me the idea that this is when they are older. And esspeically the mention of growing taller. Though I don't know which one this could be. Judging by some lyrics later I assumed this verse was Langa.

Again the mention of shoes is brought up. Leading back to skateboardong then the mention of a favorite color.(( I dont think this refers to the shoes themselves but if it did that would be interesting because ya know what red and blue make? ..purple. and what color are langas shoes? Damn I could do a whole crack theory on this man's shoes-)) but anyway! I think the favorite color is in referance to langas new board. As we know he will be getting a new board soon and if its reki making it. It wouldn't supprise me if he asked langa for his favorite color to paint it.

NOW THIS IS THE PART THAT HAD ME FLIPPING MY LAPTOP WHEN I REALISED IT WAS A CONVERSATION

Remember this from verse 1?

"Unimaginable wall ride. It made me laugh all right. All night I was waiting for the morning. "

Yes well read this from verse 2. A direct response.

"Fearless wall ride. I'll make you laugh all right. All night has been exceeded"

And then it is instantly followed with

"I feel like another person for the rest of my life" again

From verse 1. It made me think about how Reki would laugh alott while Langa was learning. Mostly because langa really could not pull off the basic things and would often end up hurting himself. The mention of waiting for the morning is as if Reki is excited to see Langa. To skate with langa. Not having someone for so long it brings him excitement each day to have someone there.

And then the direct response from Langa is as if he is saying he aimed to make Reki laugh with what he did. That he kept trying just to get him to laugh. Before reassuring him that the night is done and that he really is here to stay. That if Reki was worried everything was just a dream. The day proves to him it isn't.

"Lets talk about silly things with you forever. I want to laugh next to you. "

As we know Reki tends to ramble and Langa tends to listen. But something the show shows wonderfully is how the more time passes Langa is becoming more open. He smiles mostly whenever Reki is talking to him showing how he and Reki have grown close. Again this is talking about they want to be beside each other again.

I beleive that sentance is Rekis point of beiw though. He wants to talk with Lamga and much as possiable and he wants the ither to laugh.

Which leads me to belive this song takes place when they are seperated . Not together in that moment. But both thinking back on the same memories.

Final verse.

"If the world ends. I dont need anything special. Same pace as usual. Let's stay together unchanged. Yes 'now is beautiful. "

I don't know who's point of veiw this verse is. But I like to think its both lf them. Or it switches between them.

They talk about how even if the world ends they will be fine so long as they are together and the same as usual. That NOW is perfect. Because all they need is one another.

"Lets go together. Lets go with you. Its not just fun. Youre here by my side. Helping me. "

Now I belive that is Langas response to reki in the first verse saying he wants to help him. That langa wants to keep going to the future with Reki besides him. And the same for Reki. He wants to go with Langa. Skateboarding is no longer just fun for eaither of them anymore. It became more then that because ts something they do together.

As Joe said. Our local villian man says skateboarding is a language of love. (Though I will draw a line in the sand and say local villian man treats more like lust and desire) but! For reki and langa is really is a love language. Skateboarding basically represents a reltionship in this show. They started it together. Kept doing it together. But eventually one person was moving ahead to fast and the other couldn't catch up this will result in- (*cough* their first breakup) but skateboarding will definetly bring them back together again.

The show will definetly separate them at some point. Because it has to be done . Of my theories are correct. They need to be separated and away from each other in order to full realise they need each other. They need that break to realise skateboarding isn't just fun anymore. That without the other there to support them. Its no longer what it used to be.

"Im not alone. I'm always by your side."

This can apply to both the characters which is why I beleive the final verse is a mixture of the two of them. For Langa he came to Japan not knowing anyone but his mom. He was alone till Reki shoved his way into his life. And for Reki he was alone even though he was surrounded by so many people. Because he had no one to truepy connect with. But now they are always beside each other.

"You can talk about silly things as many times as you like. I will remember and laugh"

Now not alott of thing scare me but this- ...this thing scares me- ok so all joking aside. This is another direct response to a line a few verses back. But this time ots langa. Langa saying how he doesn't mind listening to Reki talk. Because he will remember everything and laugh about it. That as long as reki wants to keep talking he will listen..

Though I'm kind of scared how they phrased the remember and laugh thing- I just have trust issues with this director since banana fish so they just better not give my boys an angsty ending-

And finally!

"You are always in my chest."

They are always in each others hearts. Another suspicious lyric that is making me second guess everything sweet. And makes me beleive the two of them are seperated some how. It better only be because of college or I swear- hands will be thrown!

But apart from that its a very sweet song. About them feeling nolsolgic. Thinking back of their past. Remembering feelings. How they will always be in each ithers hearts. How they are each others happiness. And how they can't see a future without each other in it.

Though it is also possiable for the singers of each verse to be the complete opposite of what I choose. Since langa seems to be the one helping Reki now, but we will wait till the show ends to do a serious theory on this once and for all xD

[alto-angel]

in this post, i would like to present my thesis on why the song metaphor by the crane wives belongs to goro akechi.

"i've gotten good at leaning on metaphors": goro's speech as the detective prince is very flowery, exaggerated, and calculated, in order to please the crowds of people with their eyes trained on him at all times. public appearances, television shows, and interviews are all very important for his image, and as such he's forced to adapt his speech and choose his wording carefully to appease those watching. robbie daymond especially does a very good job of vocally pushing the line of politeness into a tone that sounds just a bit too sugary to be genuine, but not something u would notice unless u were listening closely.

"i've gotten good at living on someone else's page": much like the first line, this one can also refer to goro's public image. because he's put an immense amount of work into his life as the detective prince, he aims to please. or at least, he needs to act as though he does. in order to keep up appearances, he needs to be able to get a read of those around him and keep himself on the same wavelength as them. this also applies to shido—not only does goro need to please his fans, but shido as well, in order to stay one step ahead of him. goro is purposefully putting himself on eggshells every day of his life, and in order to keep that up as well as keep himself safe, this is what he has to practice.

"i cut my teeth on secondhand sentiments": goro is often forced to follow a script, or at least an embellished, public-friendly version of his own thoughts. the things that he says when acting as the detective prince are rarely ever his own thoughts as they would be presented in normal conversation. goro has to hide his true opinion of the phantom thieves behind crowd pleasing buzzwords, keep up appearances by catering his opinions, and even quotes philosophers and other literature ("to paraphrase hegel"). the things that he says as detective prince goro akechi are rarely ever entirely his own, and he's gotten very good at tailoring his speech.

"you can't trust a single thing i say": this one, i think, is fairly self-explanatory. the "you" doesn't just apply to the phantom thieves, but to those goro works with as well. what is it he says to sae; "to trick your enemies, you must first trick your allies"? he uses deception to get what he wants, but his primary motivation for it is to move his plan forward, and to protect himself. obviously, if he were honest with shido, he would've been killed on the spot. goro's proficiency with lies isn't just a tool he uses, but a defense mechanism as well. bc of his fear of and difficulty grasping the concept of opening up to someone, through that skill, he is able to keep himself closed off and in control (that is, until he meets akira).

"i keep my closet free of skeletons": this one strikes me as irony, personally. goro's closet is so full of skeletons that it's practically bursting at the seams. but as the detective prince, something like that just isn't allowed. he needs to play the part, otherwise he pays the price. as himself, as goro akechi, he's got so many skeletons in his closet that he probably can't open the door anymore. but as the detective prince, he has to uphold an air of perfection that seems unattainable to others. goro as the detective prince is the epitome of the culture behind the idolization of celebrities, and the way others place and expect them on pedestals of something near godhood, far above the rest of the world.

"cause i'm much better at digging graves": well, goro akechi is certainly no stranger to the art of killing someone without a trace. we have no idea how many shutdowns or breakdowns he induced over the course of his professional relationship with shido. but i also think this lyric in tandem with the one right before it could relate to goro's tendencies towards repression; the idea that he cannot and should not have any "demons" or "skeletons"—such as past traumas, meaningful relationships, or feelings that he's jammed down and shut the closet doors on, if u will—bc since vengeance is his only objective, then digging graves is his primary task, or the only thing he's good for, in his mind. the word skeletons doesn't have to represent mistakes specifically, but could also refer to how goro views his own heart and how he deals with his emotions. something like, he feels he shouldn't deal with all that turbulence, bc he's far better at warping it into anger—something that he's used to dealing with, and can easily rationalize. the more complicated emotions, not so much.

"but i always dig up bones in your sympathy": this is where i start connecting things to goro and akira specifically. another definition of sympathy entails two people who share an understanding of each other. doesn't that sound like goro and akira to u? so, if u take these lyrics to be from goro to akira, it feels to me like this one could represent his regrets/desire to leave his situation. according to rank seven of his confidant in royal, we know that goro is practically screaming for help before the events of sae's palace. unfortunately, as the player, we are not able to save him. but i think this lyric could represent his desire to connect with akira despite his better judgement—"dig up bones," as in; i'll still arrive at the decision to bury them in the first place, but bc we have an understanding, i'll show u as well as i can that i do not want to be doing this. and that's exactly how rank seven with goro plays out, through the metaphor of a billiards game.

"i can't trust a single thing you say": this could refer to the fact that both goro and akira are withholding truths from each other throughout their relationship, and since they are of equal standing, the same deception that applies to goro would apply to akira as well, albiet in a far different way. however, i can also see it as an unwillingness on goro's part; he feels as though he cannot trust akira not bc akira is truly lying to him, but bc there's no other way for him to rationalize the fact that akira cares for him and wants to spend time with him. as goro akechi, not the detective prince. goro can't trust the kindness akira extends to him not only bc he's used to conditional love (shido, foster parents, etc.), but also bc he doesn't feel as though he deserves it. goro does not have a very high image of himself, as we see later on, and it's easy to see throughout his confidant that he cannot quite understand why someone would want to spend time with him, and not the perfectly crafted version of him that he presents to everyone else.

"don't look too hard, cause you won't like the scars he left in me": the "he" here refers to shido. shido is the sole reason for all of goro's trauma and hardships. he has scarred goro more than anyone else in his life. and goro's sharing of these traumas is very limited: he opens up seemingly out of nowhere, before immediately retreating under the guise of things like "oh, that isn't like me," or "oh, am i bothering u?" such as the scenes that take place in leblanc and the bathhouse. goro cannot fathom the fact that someone (akira) would wish to get to know him, as he is, so he assumes that a normal interaction between friends is somehow too much transparency, and keeps himself at a distance. he mistakes his feelings for akira as hatred, right? obviously, that's entirely the wrong word to describe them. but if goro himself believes that he hates akira, he would likely believe akira to hate him as well; as evidenced by the fact that the dialogue options which give u the most points are the ones where u mention ur "rivalry"—bc again, goro cannot rationalize his emotions as anything other than negative; anger, hatred, etc. it's far easier for goro to blurt out the words "i hate u" rather than "i love u," or "i care for u," isn't it? and this is how he keeps himself at enough of a distance, although simultaneously feels himself drawing closer. emotional closeness is not something goro is well versed in, and bc goro has built his image on being talented and skilled, he refuses to reveal his shortcomings.

"i've gotten good at making up metaphors": the words here are only slightly different than the ones at the beginning, which i think works for goro's further descent into his deal with shido, and subsequent difficulty. instead of "leaning" on metaphors, he's completely making them up. it's more drastic, which could represent a sort of desperation. almost as if he's losing his touch—which we do see after the events of sae's palace, during the tv interview where he monologues internally about his backstory, and we start to really see how damaged he is. goro is frazzled and distraught, enough for it to visibly show, something he prided himself on being able to avoid.

"i've gotten good at stretching the truth out of shape": again, the same situation as before. similar to the beginning, with slightly harsher wording. the lies that goro is immersing himself in are getting more intense, and almost impossible to separate from. his "murder" of akira is a turning point, in a way; akira is the first and only character we see goro kill in what he believes to be outside of the metaverse. he's not only stretching the truth out of shape, but he himself is bent out of shape as well—this stuck out to me on my ng+ run; his sprites in the scene just after akira is reported to be dead from him to shido are very unsettling and absent, as if he's almost completely zoning out. it's a very jarring scene to watch, and i think at least part of that has to be due to the severity of his actions.

"and all these words are sweet and meaningless": this feels to me, if we're going by the timeline i've been suggesting throughout all this, like it's directed at shido. now that akira is dead and the phantom thieves are no longer a threat to goro's plan for revenge, he can focus his energy back on his original objective. goro lays it on incredibly thick in his scenes with shido, so much so that it sometime surprises me that he didn't realize shido was onto him. again with the more intense wording here, which fits with the events i'm corresponding it with.

"you can't trust a single thing i say": now this wording is exactly the same as the first time, but given the progression of everything i've talked about, i take this as a sort of last word to both shido and akira. goro intends to follow through with his vengeance no matter the cost, and this could read as a final nail in that coffin. the song repeats this lyric four times, as well. if i wanted to keep it up all the way up to the engine room scene, and go completely off the rails in the process, i could say that the first iteration of this line is an affirmation to both shido and akira that his revenge takes precedence, therefore it would be stupid to trust him. the second is an affirmation to himself that he is in fact doing the right thing, and everything will pay off in the end, that this is just the way things are supposed to be, as always. the third is a kind of plea, born from confusion, after he's defeated by the theives and they offer to bring him with them to take down shido, an offer he cannot fathom the reason for extending. a sort of "why would u trust me" in the form of "u shouldn't trust me." and the fourth would refer directly to goro speaking to his cognitive self; as he decieves the deciever, making it seem as though he is running back to shido only to close the bulkhead door and resign himself to his "noble" sacrifice.

i hope at least some of this makes any semblance of sense. put this song on ur goro playlists, goroboys.

[ziracona]

so can u tell us a little about ur characterization of Lisa?? What's she like inside and outside of trials? Does she have a lot of lucidity, what were her relationships with others like, would she ever get better, do you think? ( im SAD.) Just. What's she like!! Also, same for Sally? Oh! And I'm rly enjoying two songs by Meg Myers which maybe you'll like? Running up that hill (Cover) and Desire. Maybe check em out? :3 - Sleepy

Sure!

My Lisa is from a bit before the archives for her placed her (early 1970s), because I wrote ILM back when there was no date given for many killers or survivors, so I just hoped they were historically accurate with the things they did mention & went through a fairly exhaustive list of drained swamps in the Southern US & paddleboat makes & placed her according to that data (it’s been a bit so I don’t remember the exact date without looking up my notes) in the 1920s-1930s, I believe? And in her early 20s, since she’s described as a girl & young woman, which DbD usually does only for characters in their early 20s. (Which I’d still assume is her age, bc even though her archives, if you go by them, have her in her teens, they’re not connected to the events of her disappearance/definitely happened before them.)

In trials, Lisa has like 0 lucidity. I talk about this some in chapter notes, so I’ll try to give a quick overview instead but sry if I restart myself. She’s so starved that any time she sees a living being, she is just completely overcome with hunger and can’t do anything but operate on it. Very scary. Feral. Like being attacked by a starving animal. She’s super out of it, and is completely wild and violent and has no control, only the need to eat. Outside of trials, if no one is around, she’s lucid again, but will remember trials and what she did to people, and spends that time in horror and despair. She’s tried to kill herself before, because the last thing she ever wanted was to become the thing she swore vengeance on (the Entity’s a real cruel motherfucker. Did the same to Rin, to Philip, to everyone it could. Likes to really twist decent people into what they would most despair to be), but in the realm, she’s stuck as it. She’s not really aware for trials, but remembers them with decent clarity, and is in constant agony over what she’s done. Unfortunately, suicide does not take in the realm, and every one of her attempts failed, just like her attempts to maim or tie herself up so she wouldn’t be able to hurt people did. She’s horribly alone and despairing, and also in physical agony. She’s at the worst end of what a human can be at as far as emaciation and starvation while still being alive goes, and that’s physically awful. It fucks up your brain chemistry too, and everything is just really fucking miserable all the time. It hurts to move, it hurts to breathe, your breath smells tastes like rotten fruit but in a way that’s so much worth than that can sound. She’s so hungry, her addons are things like dragonfly wings consumed to give her extra stamina. That’s the kind of bare sliver of relief she ever gets. God, poor Lisa’s life is hell. She’s completely heartbroken and isolated and almost dead. As far as relationships go, she didn’t have any for a long time. No one can really interact with her, because she goes feral at the sight of food. She’s kinda utterly alone. But briefly, when Alex, Philip, Vigo, Benedict, and Sally were a group, she kind of got stumbled into, and after a kind of nasty first encounter, was able to regain lucidity around other people, and had a truly sweet and memorable and invaluable bit of time with love and friends and other people. She was kind of in love with Sally, who did her hair for her and was really kind to her, and Sally liked her too. They were close. Lisa was close with all of them. But when things ended the way they did, the Entity took that away. Lisa remembers it, but she could never get them or it back, and was cast aside and left behind until the end of ILM, when she finally got peace and found happiness in finally getting to be at rest in the arms of a friend. Overal, she’s a fairly young and wide-eyed, bright, cautious, fun and sweet girl by nature, now massively traumatized and hopeless and broken, but still with a truly incredible amount of that kind nature retained. She would have really loved reading fantasy novels aloud and exploring the worlds of lore and history, travelling, seeing other cultures and geographic features and animals. Enjoys fashion too, and has a heart for designing and making cool, personal and cultural and symbolic tied designs, and would have been both great at that and loved it if she’d lived long enough. (Shoutout to @artianaiolanthe who inspired the fashion take & it is so suited to her I love it). A little shy, but an extrovert at heart under it, just a nervous one. Loved people. Liked climbing trees and fording brooks and baking bread and throwing rocks and baseballs to knock a target out of a tree and win a prize at little town fairs. Didn’t get the length or quality of life she was owed, and it’s just not fair or okay at all. Liked to watch the stars.

As far as getting better goes, mentally, totally. If they could get her out of the realm or break the Entity’s connection, she’d immediately stop killing. She has never done it of her own free will. She’s a sweet small town kid who was just trying to live her life. As far as physically goes though, Lisa is in one of the worst possible spots. Unlike say Amanda, who was on death’s door but healed by the Entity, or the Legion, who weren’t injured at all, Lisa was on death’s door and like Adiris, did not get healed. Just preserved in that near-death state and forced to work in it. Honestly, it’s possible she could survive long enough to get to a hospital and be saved, but at best, she’d probably live another year. When you starve, your body begins to catabolize/eat your own tissue to save itself, starting with fat, and ending with muscles and organs, which, when it reaches the heart, kills you. Lisa was so close to dead, the organ damage was probably awful, and would leave her with complications that would take her very young. The most likely thing, since she was saved literally seconds before death, would be for her to step outside the realm and immediately die. However, it’s possible she got lucky on body damage and could be saved—kinda up to interpretation—and if say, she was around for Quentin’s Vigil going healing batshit, and got some organs repaired that way, she’d have a real shot. (I also am sad. Lisa was actually the only determinate character in ILM to me/that I wasn’t sure the ending for, and while I am very happy with what ended up being her closure, I also would like to see her live for even more love and peace TuT. Lol, if I ever end up doing my goddamn four fate route fics like I’ve joked now a truly dangerous number of times about doing [>.> me @ me] then maybe she will get a variety of lives in the end). I’m glad you wanted to know! I really like and pity her. This poor kid really did nothing wrong, much like Rin, and just got eternally tortured for asking for help and justice against the monsters who took her life so violently. Fuck Brittany. (Read: the Entity.)

Ahhhh Sally. My sweet, sweet girl. Uhhh, not sure which of the Lisa questions you meant for her too, so I’ll try to speed-answer them all? Sally’s intelligent and understanding and thoughtful, patient, polite, almost elegant despite how impoverished she spent most of her life—she just tries to act like a lady and treat people with as much respect and esteem as she can (unless they suck lol). She’s also very mentally damaged and not there though, and has extremely unstable mood swings, especially into despair. Her relationships with the other killers were limited. She talked to & was on polite terms with any who would talk to her and not be condescending or a dick so openly she’d pick up on it (so like, on cordial terms with Evan, Herman, Caleb if she’d been there that long, but not like, Kenneth or Freddy or someone who wouldn’t bother to put up an act). But mostly, after figuring out she wasn’t really of any use to them, they quit communicating with her. Sally has been extremely isolated since shortly after being taken. She believes that the survivors are innocent and suffering and knows that they don’t deserve the hunt, but has no way to stop the whole system, and has been convinced by the Entity that if she does a good job and earns moris, the ones she strangles to death get to stay dead instead of coming back after death to suffer endlessly again, so she works very dedicatedly and slowly trying to earn kills to save them. It took her physical eyes when it got her and lets her see through it’s powers, and uses that to randomize what survivors look like in her memory so she doesn’t catch wise it’s the same people over and over and she’s not saving them at all. It’s extremely tragic. God it’s one of the most cruel Entity tricks, which is saying a lot. Poor gentle woman is Sisyphus pushing a boulder up a hill day after day year after year and she doesn’t even know how hopeless and meaningless it all is. : (

When the Vigo-Philip-Alex-Benedict team was going, though, she met and attacked, then was convinced to instead befriend them, and quickly became very attached and well liked by them. Met Lisa while with the group, and became extremely fond of her and loving towards her and was truly, truly happy for a brief period of time. Still remembers her, even as lost as all her memories are. Not her name, but what she looked like to Sally, and how her hair felt, and how nice it was. Sally would have considered everyone in that group a dear friend, and in ILM, Philip most definitely becomes her deepest, closest, and best friend, just like she does to him. She’s a very faithful woman to her soul. Loved her family, loved her husband and mourned him, worked as hard as she could. Cared for her patients, and did her best in that hell until the Entity slowly whittled away at her sanity until it broke her mind and left her convinced the only way to end their pain would be to give them death, and she had to do it to save them. Sally loves little pretty things and neatness and collections. Flowers, bows and ribbons, china and colored glass. She would have treasured gifts like decorative holiday cards and carved animal figures and left them on her mantle or carefully tucked in lovingly organized and decorated books she could open to revisit the memory. Likes dresses and skirts and the way the wind feels. Hopeful and very enduring. Loving. Had a mom heart, and will never really get entirely over the loss of her children, but is strong and kind and will find new love that makes life still worth living in other people. Will remember both kindness and cruelty a long, long time. Loved Quentin from the second he gave her flowers (Dwight: Quentin, why did the entity let you have three moms? Quentin: Because I fucking earned it >:[“ [author’s note: he did. God that poor kid...]). Loved Kate from the day she sat with her in a hospital and held her hand. Is like that. Remembers small kindness and treasures them.

Sally could definitely recover. Not all the way probably, physically or mentally, but by far enough to be complete and happy and realized and who she wants. She never meant to hurt people, so she really just needs some stability, and I think she finds that with her new family. I mean, it is a lot to adjust to. It’s been like nearly 100 years. The Entiry broke her mind, and she’s got some damage that just probably can’t ever be fixed, but a lot can be, with drugs and treatments and therapy and kindness and a good support system, and honestly, the biggest things she needs are people to keep her memories together and herself present, and influences to protect her from being manipulated and controlled now that she’s so suggestible and easy to hurt, and she’s got that. I am 100% certain that while some things—the scatteredness, the ease of slipping into other moods especially deep sadness, the different way of thinking altogether—never leave her, she gets better in the most important ways and is truly happy and quite functional and what she wants to be. While there’s no way (yet anyway lol. Cybernetics that good when?) to give her new eyes since the Entity ripped hers out, and she’s blind now, and can’t be changed, her seeing eye dog does a great job for her, and she’s very happy and adjusts well. She has a lot of friends to be her eyes, and learns to lean into what she can do and has a quite fulfilling and blissful life outside the realm in ILM.

Also: thanks for the recs! I’m going on a run soon, and I’ll add those to my iPod and give ‘em a listen if I can. Hope this answered what you wanted to know! ^u^

[jckelly]

updated intro / 25/09/20

Is that JACK FIELDING? Wow, they do look a lot like VAN MCCANN. I hear HE is an NINETEEN year old FRESHMEN who are studying AEROSPACE ENGINEERING  at Luxor University. Word is they are an ARISTOCRAT student. You should watch out because they can be PHILOPHOBIC and INSINCERE, but on the bright side they can also be WITTY and IMAGINATIVE. Ultimately, you’ll get to see it all for yourself. [YUNI, 20, GMT, SHE/HER]

hello to anyone who has yet 2 be cursed w my presence in their dms, i am yuni and this is  an updated intro for my demon boi jack! this one is a lilll bit more in depth but not to worry there is a tl;dr at the end ion expect u to read this. feel free to dm me if you would like to plot!

01: BASIC INFORMATION

Full Name: Jackson Noel Fielding (previously Kelly; recently changed)

Nicknames: Jack - he dislikes the use of his full first name, and only really answers to Jack, unless joking around with Caitriona. 

Date Of Birth: December 4, 2001 (currently aged 19)

Zodiac: Sagittarius sun, Leo ascendant, and Aries moon. 

Place Of Birth: Northern General Hospital, Sheffield, South Yorkshire, England. 

Nationality: Dual UK and US citizenship; he was born and raised in England so was a UK citizen from birth, and acquired US citizenship through his American adopted mother after being formally adopted in 2017. 

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual 

Course: Aerospace Engineering (Freshman)

02: PHYSICAL

Faceclaim: Van McCann 

Voiceclaim: Also Van McCann (but w ... not a Welsh accent LOL think Northern)

Ethnicity: White (English, Irish, Scottish)

Height: 173cm (5′8)

Weight: 52kg (115lbs) / BMI 17.4

Eye Colour: Blue

Hair Colour: Brown

Distinctive Features: Freckles (many), ear piercings (one hoop in his left ear), scars on his wrists which he hides with long sleeved shirts. 

Clothing Preference: Jack really only wears black, or something close to black like grey. He usually opts for simple clothes, just jeans and long sleeved shirts, and beat up black converse. His Sheffield United hoodie makes an appearance more often than not, because he has a ridiculous amount of hometown pride. 

03: PERSONALITY

Overview

Positive Traits: Witty, imaginative, perseverant, passionate

Negative Traits: Philophobic, disloyal, insincere, callous

MBTI: ENTP

Religious Beliefs: Atheist 

Description

The first side most people see of Jack is the side he wants you to see. A total asshole. It’s not an exaggeration - he’s pretty much infamous for flirting with everyone, dating anyone and as a serial cheater. He’ll actively try to worm his way into your life, and then just when you start to care, he does something to hurt you. He’s strangely persistent, probably helping him to push people even further, until they snap. There is nothing which satisfies him more than managing to wind people up to the extreme, get them to the point where they give up. Adopted parents, friends, nobody is immune to this side - he even tries it on the people he genuinely cares about, as if just to see if he’ll still be able to push them away.

The second side, which most people don’t see, is that at heart Jack is a kid. He’s the type of person to ask if owls have ears at 3am, or get some childlike joy out of dumb jokes. Of course, this is the side nobody but a very small number of people see. And even if you do see it, it never lasts long. He keeps his true personality under wraps even amongst those he does like, and it only slips out if he’s extremely comfortable with you. Otherwise, he’ll go straight back to being a sarcastic, flirty piece of shit.

04: PAST

Biography: 

Jackson Kelly was born in a council estate in Sheffield, South Yorkshire, in the UK. His life prior to adoption is not something he routinely talks about, but that’s mostly because he’d rather not give people reasons to pity him: his mother, 15 when she gave birth to him, was a drug addict; he has no idea who his birth father is or was, and no inclination to find out. Jack’s first ten years of life pretty much fell into the same cycle: get put into foster care, his mother would get clean and take him back, and then the cycle would repeat. But when the cycle ended when he was ten, and he was removed from his mother’s care for good, he wasn’t ready for it to end yet.

Sure, she wasn’t the best parent. But she was his mother. Jack quickly developed a reputation for running away, always found back at the same place. Foster parent after foster parent always ended up returning him, unable to cope with his rebellious tendencies and the constant hunt for him after he had run. As he aged, he only became better at avoiding being found. It practically became a game to him, a way for him to entertain himself. So when a wealthy American heiress and her British CEO husband decided that  of all people, they wanted to foster a now thirteen year old Jack, social workers almost wanted to ask if they’d misspoke. (Jack had assumed it was a practical joke.)

Claire and George, his new “parents,” were patient. They said he didn’t have to call them mum or dad, that even after they officially adopted him two years later he could keep his own surname, that they just wanted him to be happy. They moved him to a better school, got a private tutor to make up for lost time, tried to take an interest in his favourite things. But that wasn’t enough for Jack. Eventually, the situation resulted in drastic measures: a rainy afternoon with a social worker being told that Claire wanted to move the family to her birthplace of New York, and send Jack to the school she had attended many years prior. A fresh start would be better for him, they said. As if Jack didn’t know the real reason. He couldn’t run away if he was thousands of miles away.

And that was how a fifteen year old Jack made his way to Carnifex, with absolutely no change to his desire to wreak havoc or to his somewhat disturbing attitude towards other people. Therapists paid for by his adopted parents might say he was pushing people away to manifest emotions about neglect in early life; Jack would just say that he was keeping things interesting. Either way, the next couple years of his life escaped past him, and before he knew it he was in a school office, being told that his birth mother had died.

Obviously, Claire and George freaked, as if he would do anything. Pulled him out of school for a month, flew him back to England for the funeral, and practically wrapped Jack in bubble wrap like he was a baby or something. All he wanted to do was go back to school, ignore the guilt he felt in his stomach for letting them take him away, and go back to what he did best.

Timeline: 

December 4 2001 - Jackson Noel Kelly is born in Sheffield.

2005 - Jack is removed from his mother’s care for the first time. He is frequently removed from her care and then placed back in it for the next seven years of his life. 

2012 - Jack is removed from his mother’s custody permanently and placed in a temporary foster home. He bounces through foster homes for the next few years, including one where he meets Caitriona and becomes close with her. 

2014 - Jack is fostered by Claire and George. He resists any attempt for them to get close to him, and continues to act out. 

December 2016 - Jack is legally adopted by Claire and George, acquiring US citizenship, although he does not change his surname. 

January 2017 - Jack attempts suicide. He is placed in therapy and plans are made for his relocation to the US. 

March 2017 - Claire and George move back to America, taking Jack with them. He begins attending Carnifex. He continues to visit the UK regularly to visit his birth mother, who he keeps in contact with. 

April 2020 - Jack’s birth mother dies. He immediately disappears from school for a month, without telling anyone where he went. 

May 2020 - Jack returns to Luxor. It’s later accidentally blurted out mid fight with Zander that his mother is dead. 

June 2020 - Jack graduates and Leo tells the school Jack attempted suicide. 

September 2020 - Jack legally changes his surname from his birth name - Kelly - to his adopted parents surname, Fielding. 

December 2020 - Zander and Ches spread posters around claiming that Jack is HIV positive and gave it to Balo. They don’t provide any proof for this allegation, and Jack continues to deny it.

(These are the events ur character would probs vaguely know about!!! Anything else is personal info so they wouldn’t know unless Jack explicitly told them. Feel free to ask me if you’re ever unsure if something is ic knowledge or not!) 

05: OTHER TRIVIA

- He has a fairly strong Yorkshire accent which is obviously something other characters would likely notice when interacting with him. So if he uses words you don’t know it’s safe to assume he’s just being his dumb British self so you are free to have your character question the meaning/not know. (LMK if you’re unsure tho!)

- His favourite band is Oasis (closely followed by Arctic Monkeys), favourite film is Fight Club,  go to drink is either a double vodka coke or a pint of Heineken, and his favourite place is Leadmill in Sheffield because it’s where he’s seen some bands (and fucked girls in the bathroom. Such a romantic.)

- Dyslexic, but if you mention it Jack will fight you, although it’s partially why he leans more toward math based subjects where his spelling ability is irrelevant. 

- Notoriously has a thing for redheads, although that doesn’t prevent him from being crude and sexual towards anyone he happens to meet or interact with.

- Chain smokes anything he can get his ratty little hands on (cigarettes, weed, meh) so expect him to smell of ciggies 24/7. 

- Diehard supporter of Sheffield United and insists there is no better football team even though they really suck

- Weetabix, Weetabix, Weetabix 

06: NOTABLE CONNECTIONS

Within Luxor:

- Friendships: Caitriona, Balo, Avery, Zai, Oakley, Lennon

- Former Relationships: Oakley Prescott 

- Current Relationship: Juliet McCoy

NPCS

- Claire Richardson Fielding & George Fielding: Jack’s adopted parents, who just want to love him despite him being terrible to them. 

- Lauren Kelly: His birth mother, who he misses a lot. 

- Violet Richardson: Claire’s mother, who for some reason adores Jack and considers him her favourite grandchild. Meaning Jack will probably inherit everything when she dies, although he doesn’t really think about that. 

- Emily French: His ex girlfriend from back home, also known as the only girl who Jack truly cared about before Juliet. She broke up with Jack for being too toxic, which although fair, fucked him up for a little bit. Not that he’d admit it. 

07: CONNECTION IDEAS/WCS

Exes (Lots)

Jack has a habit of dating people, dropping them as soon as feelings get involved, cheating on them, and generally being an asshole. So if you want an ex for your muse… yeah.

Enemies

Again, he tends to happily mess with as many people as he possibly can. So he’s probably gotten on the wrong side of at least a couple people.

Friends (fake or real)

Like when he dates, he tends to get close to people before ditching them or screwing with them. So people who think they’re his friends but who aren’t really as close as they think are very welcome. I’m also down to have a couple people who can be the few he genuinely cares about.

08: TL;DR

If you already knew Jack at Luxor:

Little has changed! He’s the same manipulative dick as ever except that he has legally changed his surname. Your characters are tots fine to comment on the change, it’s not a secret or anything. 

If this is your unfortunate first experience with Jack: 

Jack is manipulative, crude, outright insulting, and nasty. He enjoys nothing more than messing with people, and often acts friendly initially just to hurt you later. He is British, adopted, and I call him rat man. 

[daily-dose-of-imagines]

Match-up✨💗

hi! :) i was wondering if i could please have a matchup for haikyuu!! please? and a little nsfw maybe only if ur comfy with it?🥺👉👈I’m a bisexual female, whose a mix of british and italian. my zodiac sign is a pisces and i’m type ENFP-T. i’m about 5’1 and i have long brown hair with red and blonde highlights. my eyes are hazel and i need glasses, i have a curvy yet still skinny body type with big breasts. As for my personality, i tend to be more on the extroverted side but i do like having my space sometimes. i’m super outgoing and loud but i know when i need to calm down and i can be really chill. most of the time guys think of me as ‘one of the boys’ because i tend to do stupid shit with my guy friends💀. but i tend to dress either very girly or very laid back. i have a vintage/preppy style or sweats and a t-shirt. i have very gen z and dark humor and i really like to joke about things that shouldn’t be joked about but i do know where i need to stop. i can handle teasing and i’ll usually shoot it right back and i tend to be really sassy and sarcastic without realizing it. i like making people happy and tend to put everyone before myself due to my insecurities and lack of self esteem. most people think i’m super confident because of how high i hold myself, but i’m not because i actually have extremely bad anxiety and it is the root of my depression. i usually get really bad panic attacks when my bottled up feeling burst out because i never really talk out my feelings because i don’t want to bother anyone and i’m scared people will think i’m annoying. (i’m so sorry, that was sad! back to the happy stuff🥺💗) i also have bad ADD😔🤚 Some things i like are baking, playing instruments, makeup, and art! i like to paint a lot and i always have and music has always been a hobby since i was kid because i’m a musical prodigy! baking is a whole different story though. it’s my favorite thing to do and i want to open up my own bakery eventually! makeup i enjoy doing special effects makeup or fun eccentric ones! i don’t natural makeup for outside the house though. i also like video games, marvel movies, and books! My favorite subject is science! any form of science, i like biology, chem, astronomy, etc. (fun fact: i had the periodic table memorized since 7th grade). as for my dislikes, i HATE hospitals. i pass out every time i enter one. i also hate spiders. I also forgot to mention that i have an undiagnosed medical condition that causes me to continuously pass out. i pass out for about 30 seconds about every 2 weeks and i have to take medication for that 3 times a day. As for what i’m attracted to? i cant really say much because i kinda varies, but i like trust and humor in a relationship. i kinda feel like i need someone that i can open up to because i have a hard time expressing my real feelings but i also want to be able to laugh with them because making other people happy makes me SO happy!

anyways, this was really long and i’m so sorry for that💀 please take your time and do this at your own pace! make sure to drink water and rest up well! i hope you have a FANTABULOUS day!🥺💗

»»————-　♡　————-««

Hello Anon~! (I noticed the way you sent it in and am assuming you’d like to be anonymous~) Of course you can have a match-up~! I hope you enjoy who I’ve paired you with~! Thank you so much for your support and your request~! ;;

» » Admin Ko

𝕀 𝕊𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕐𝕆𝕌 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙…

ʟᴇᴠ ʜᴀɪʙᴀ

First things first, this boy will always comment on how short you are. Though he means it in an affectionate way. He thinks you’re absolutely adorable and pocket sized that he’ll try to take you everywhere with him! He vibes well with your extroverted personality and honestly it becomes too chaotic at times where he might end up at the end of some light hearted scolding from the team mom. Initially, he doesn’t even realize he has a crush on you until he takes note of how other guys try to befriend or get close to you.

It sorta makes him become a big pouty jealous baby— despite it initially being cute he can be a bit possessive and literally will swoop in and pick you up before making a statement of, “SHE’S MINE. YOU ALL KEEP HOGGING HER!” Though in reality it’s Lev hogging you to himself. Kuroo makes fun of him for it and definitely snitches to Yaku whenever he tries to get out of extra practice to go on a fun date with you. He will literally provide you with a bountiful amount of his clothes if you want to borrow them to wear. The first time he saw you wearing his shirt he literally fainted on the spot. It took a lot of coaxing from him to let you know he would most definitely not faint a second time if you wore his shirt again. 

He loves your dark humor and honestly relates to it pretty well. He is 10000% supportive of you and will do anything to help you get through an episode of emotional recourse or if you need someone to vent to. Though don’t go to him for advice, his poor volleyball smacked head might not be the best for it. He does however have connections to helpful senpais’ who’ll definitely help you in case you need advice or perspective to get through and to work through your depression.

Now, your hobbies bring a whole new light to Lev that he’ll definitely be the one to hype you up and show you off to the entire team whenever he can. He’s also a slut for your sweets. Absolutely loves them and will literally brag that he has the best bakery at home. 

Onto a bit of spice and zest~ along with the PDA portion~!

Let’s be honest here, first things first Lev is the most awkwardest baby at Nekoma to try and do anything relatively zesty. But give him some time to research and do some learning and honey– oof you best be prepared for yourself. 

Despite what most may think, I definitely see Lev as a switch. He definitely won’t be afraid to take control in the bedroom, but secretly loves it when you decide to take full reign and treat him like the little brat he is. He loves to be praised and will definitely do anything to your little heart’s desire when it comes to pleasuring you. (Within consent of course~.) 

Surprisingly though, out of the bedroom he’s much more confident in his actions. He’ll hold your hand, literally carry you around, kiss your cheek, the whole 9 yards. He’s a lot more confident in giving you affection after he does his research project. That’s for sure~. 

[lovinbeats]

        what’s  up .  it’s  ur  girl  sunny (she/they) !!   i  am  a  complete  disaster  most  of  the  time  but  here  i  am !!   i  LOVE  red  velvet  and  just  yeri  in  general  tbh  ...  she’s  my  babie .  i’m  excited  to  get  things  started  on  here  so  feel  free  to  message  me  here  or  on  line  for  plotting !!

dani’s  stats  can  be  found  here ,   but  i’m  still  working  on  a  biography  for  her   ( that  will  come  one  day  i  promise ) .   she  loves  books  and  coffee  and  can  typically  be  found  at  grindr  either  working  or  not     ---     perhaps  she  has  an  addiction  to  coffee .

dani's  life  was  typical  of  any  other  middle - class  family's .   the  youngest  of  two  ;  parents  who  were  too  busy  to  pay  any  attention  to  their  child  and  an  older  brother  who ,   at  six  years  older  than  herself ,  had  no  interest  in  the  young  girl .

her  first  year  of  education  was  less  than  desirable .   she  acted  out ,   threw  fits  beyond  belief ,   screamed  for  attention  that  she  was  never  given  at  home .   diagnoses  were  thrown  in  her  direction ,   medication  pumped  into  her  like  her  life  depended  on  it .   she  became  a  lifeless  mass ,   a  child  without  a  personality .   it  was  decided  that  she  would  finish  out  her  education  in  a  private  school ,   starting  from  the  age  of  six .

she  spent  years  in  this  setting ,   class  sizes  so  small  she  never  did  learn  how  to  interact  with  others .   she  became  a  hermit ,   shying  away  from  interactions  and  always  having  a  nose  in  a  book .    she  still  yearned  for  the  attention  that  her  parents  gave  her  brother ,   the  beloved  son  they'd  always  wanted .   she  lived  out  lives  she  could  never  dream  up  on  her  own  in  the  pages  sewn  into  bindings  that  fell  apart  at  her  fingertips .  

she'll  never  forget  the  night  her  brother  answered  the  phone ,   voice  cracking  like  he'd  just  woken  up .   maybe  he  had ,   it  was  two  in  the  morning  after  all .   she'd  been  invited  out ,   a  young  fifteen  year  old  girl  who  just  wanted  to  fit  in .   and  after  hours  of  pretending  to  be  someone  she  wasn't ,   she  called  the  only  person  she  knew  wouldn't  scream  in  her  face  for  all  the  horrible  decisions  she'd  made .

he  never  did  show  up .   she'd  walked  home  that  night ,   confusion  and  anger  heavy  on  her  heart .   she  thought  of  all  the  things  she'd  say  to  him  when  she  saw  him  next    ;    she  didn't  know  she'd  never  see  him  again .  

it  was  hard  on  the  entire  family ,   on  the  entire  town .   star  football  player  who  had  gotten  himself  a  full - ride  scholarship  to  harvard  .    he  was  destined  to  do  so  many  things .   after  his  death ,  everything  changed .

her  family  was  no  longer  typical ,   her  mother  became  addicted  to  presecription  painkillers  and  she   wasn't  even  sure  her  father  was  the  same  person  anymore - everything  made  him  so  angry .   they  blamed  her  of  course ,   for  dragging  him  out  that  night  when  he'd  been  far  too  tired  to  drive .   she  blamed  herself  more  than  anyone ,   hated  herself  every  minute  she  was  alive  and  he  wasn't .  

she  was  angry .   she  was  angry  at  her  mother  and  father  for  losing  themselves ,   she  was  angry  at  the  town  for  painting  the  dead  boy  into  a  spectacle  to  be  gawked  at ,   she  was  angry  at  her  parents  for  never  giving  her  the  comfort  she  needed  -  for  always  blaming  her  with  such  hatred .   she'd  killed  their  precious  boy .   she  was  mostly  angry  at  herself ,   for  never  missing  him .

all  she  knew  was  anger .   soon  enough ,  she  was  kicked  out  of  her  academy  -  fighting  on  school  grounds .   dani's  anger  found  itself  manifested  in  her  songs  -  songwriting  always  her  best  outlet  even  as  a  child .   she  met  cole  in  the  midst  of  her  rage ,   and  found  herself  enjoying  his  company  more  than  she'd  like  to  admit .   something  about  him  seemed  to  calm  it  all  a  bit .   joining  his  band  was  the  last  puzzle  piece  she   knew  she'd  been  missing .

adulthood  came  in  a  flash  and  she  knew  it  before  her  18th  birthday  even  arrived  -  she'd  not  be  welcome  for  as  long  as  she  was  a  legal  adult .  there  were  too  many  painful  memories  there .   no  parent  wants  to  see  their  child's  killer  every  day .

wanted connections

roommate  -  just  as  it  sounds .  dani  placed  an  ad  to  find  a  place  to  crash  for  a  while  but  it  turned  out  to  be  better  than  she’d  thought !! 

older  brother’s  best  friend  -  dani’s  older  brother  was  a  social  butterfly ,  known  as  one  of  the  town’s  nicest .   after  his  death  everything  was  so  awkward  and  the  town  began  to  separate  themselves  from  the  family  -  his  best  friend  was  one  of  them ,   but  never  lost  touch  with  dani .

like  two  peas  in  a  pod  -  dani  spends  so  much  of  her  time  at  grindr ,  she  forgets  that  she  should  probably  be  a  decent  human  being  and  talk  to  her  friends .   this  muse  doesn’t  seem  to  mind  though  and  often  joins  her  in  her  unproductive  daydreaming  escapades

no  ‘ miss  proper ’  -  don’t  be  fooled .  the  private  school  life  in  stone  harbor  was ,  if  anything ,  a  way  for  parents  to  just  say  they  were  trying  new  methods  for  their  children  who  ‘ couldn’t  succeed  in  a  traditional  environment ’ .  code  for  :  ‘ i  have  a  ton  of  money  and  a  child  who  won’t  stop  screaming  at  the  teachers ’.  once  dani  was  kicked  out ,  there  were  no  other  options  -  she  was  forced  to  attend  the  high  school  she  so  dreaded .  nothing  was  worse  than  hearing  the  pitiful  sorry  after  sorry  when  they’d  come  to  find  out  who  she  was  (  more  like  whose  sister  she  was  ) .   this  muse  didn’t  seem  to  notice  at  all ,   and  also  happened  to  be  one  of  the  only  people  who  didn’t  mock  her  for  her  previous  education ,  assuming  her  to  be   ‘ miss proper ’

[ganymedesclock]

Hey in s1e1 Allura compares each of the pilots to the lions. I don't really remeber what they were something like Hunks caring personality, Pidge's inquisitive nature etc but Allura was cut off before revealing Lance and Blue's (by Lance lol) and I've always wondered what theirs was. Maybe u have a good idea cause ur really good and putting 2 and 2 together and finding X. Hope this makes sense.

Official interviews with the writers have stated Blue’s nature is compassion! She’s a nurturing presence described as the “mother hen” of the Lions. This makes a lot of sense because you can see Lance doing this a lot- like in s3e6, when he takes up a sniper nest, he checks on his teammates and watches them to see if and how they need help. Also in s3e3 Lance is the most aggressive and outspoken about how the team needs to stick together and helping them reunite.

This also is reflected a lot in how Blue relates to Allura in s3e3- she doesn’t respond to being ordered or commanded by Allura but instead responds very powerfully to Allura expressing vulnerability and asking for help- and basically the lesson she imparts to Allura is it’s okay to not control everything, other people are here to help you.

Throughout the show, Blue and Lance have repeated themes to their arc and interactions. There’s a sense of trusting situations- Lance often unlocks powers or discovers properties by just going into situations and sorta trusting it’ll work out and being mostly vindicated. The first thing Blue does is run wild and hurtle around at terrifying speeds and Lance noticeably isn’t scared that the Lion is out of his control, just caught off-guard at first. Anybody else in his situation would panic- think about how Shiro reacted when Black was moving without him in s2e7.

Allura begins her speech with “As you have found, the Lions choose their pilots” confirming that Blue had already selected Lance as her chosen paladin.

She continues, “The quintessence of the pilot is mirrored in his Lion.”

So simply enough, we can tell something about the Lions by the paladins they first approached- the Lions seek people who are mirrors of themselves. 

Ergo, Blue was drawn to Lance by being able to see his empathy and compassion as a person- the same kind of spirit that drew him to defend Pidge. He has that sort of empathetic, emotionally wise and supportive nature- as well as a certain openness to things working out. I think it’s significant that Lance got his Lion first- because Lance is the sort of person who would take Blue at face value.

Walking into the mouth of a giant robotic predator and plunking himself in the seat just because she’s indicating for him to do so, because it feels right, because he lets Blue into his heart and mind without hesitation or fear- Lance is opening himself wide up because to connect to anything, he connects emotionally. 

This is nicely embodied in that Blue’s element is water. Water is often seen as an embodiment of the emotional world and the subconscious. I’ve said this before but while all of the paladins have emotional conflicts, Lance is the one who knows the most about his and will often be seen taking initiative and discussing them quickly, rather than waiting to explode.

Onto the other Lions... Allura describes Black, first:

The Black Lion is the decisive head of Voltron. It will take a pilot who is a born leader and in control at all times, someone whose men will follow without hesitation. That is why Shiro, you will pilot the Black Lion.

The first adjective given to Black is decisive. The reasoning and decision-making head, which on a human body is the nexus of sensory information and the seat of the nervous system. Understand, take in information as fed by the limbs and act on it.

“In control at all times”, however, tells us that this is not just the cozy seat of the commander. The Black Lion is a heavy burden. You have to consider what control tends to mean for Shiro, someone who is keenly contextualized by trauma, imprisonment, and the anxiety disorder that sprung from it.

“In control” means staying ahead of mental demons. It means having autonomy over his own life and mind, things that the empire is all too eager to take away from him.

From the start, Black evokes this concept of the heavy crown- royalty in the purest sense, a leader who even bereft of regalia or title is seen and known as a king. A person crowned simply because they are charismatic, wise, and assertive- someone people reflexively look to for leadership. And also, a heavily burdened, weighted individual.

Black is represented by space- the sky at its most unbounded, the most liberating. When all Lions are empowered by their element, Black commands the greatest domain, and their massive scarlet wings are a promise of ruling that domain, of soaring through it. That’s a potent promise to make to an ex-prisoner.

But at the same time, space is also the sky at its most transient- space is a vacuum. The seat of Black’s power, this infinite kingdom, is also nothingness. It cannot be held in the hand, it cannot be touched.

Black is thematically associated with the juxtaposition of opposites. The imagery of an eclipse, and teleportation abilities that allow the user to be both present and absent- there and not, disappearing but asserting themselves.

“In control” of the Black Lion is to walk a tightrope act between power and mercy, fear and certainty. It is to command, but to also surrender oneself to trust. Shiro out of the team is the one most often confronted by a sense of helplessness.

So what sums up the Black Paladin? A mind under heavy pressure. That’s a hell of a challenge, and this is why we can see that the Black Paladin mentality can break, can fall off the tightrope in so many ways. Zarkon fell off the tightrope one way- arrogance, refusal to heed the warnings of his senses, disconnect from the limbs, leadership turned into tyranny. And in s3 and s4, Shiro falls off a different way- lack of self-worth, guilt, internalizing, trying to hand the burden to someone else because he assumes he’s no longer worthy of the throne.

But we’re not giving up on Shiro just yet- and he has the potential to rise above the situation.

The Green Lion has an inquisitive personality, and needs a pilot of intellect and daring. Pidge, you will pilot the Green Lion.

Curiosity is the defining trait of the Green Lion. A desire to know, a desire to investigate. I think that this can sometimes lend an overly benign image to Green, that people read her as fundamentally childish, “ooh, what’s this?” but there’s something else here, and something that’s illustrated big time in s2e4.

Green is represented by nature and plant life, but also technology. When Pidge deepens her bond with Green, we’re treated to an image of roots growing upwards and transforming into circuitry.

Simply, Green represents the concept of evolution. Grow, change, and become something entirely new- radically recreate your identity to thrive in an environment previously hostile to you. Quite apt for Pidge who created a new identity to find her family.

But that comes back to the concept of “daring”. If Green was just an overexcited investigative toddler then you wouldn’t need to be ‘daring’- daring suggests boldness, a certain degree of assertion in the face of problems. Which makes sense- it takes some serious determination to try and grow where you’re not welcome. Curiosity, for Green, comes with a spirit of relentlessness- it’s the tenacity with which a forest retakes the four-lane highway cut through it, pothole by pothole, weed by weed.

It’s the willpower required to fight your way through setbacks, failed harvests, and to exploit a mind that naturally thinks outside of the box against situations that are unkind. Interviews have also stated the Green Lion is not a destructive creature by nature- Green would rather find a way to open the puzzle box than take a hammer to it. Which also reflects well Pidge’s propensity for stealthy, technical fighting.

The Yellow Lion is caring and kind. Its pilot is one who puts the needs of others above his own. His heart must be mighty. As the leg of Voltron, you will lift the team up and hold them together.

This gives us a bit of insight into legs in general, which is needed since Lance just set himself up to be skipped, but it tells us some interesting things about the Yellow Lion.

Taken alone, this summary sounds very sacrificial, that the Yellow Lion runs himself ragged to protect others. But this is contextualized very differently when we see the Yellow Lion himself.

Yellow is an armored juggernaut commanding the greatest defensive armaments and a body that can smash directly through most adversaries. He’s the quintessential defensive force on Voltron, the most fortified Lion- set diagonally across from Red, the quintessential offensive force and least defensive Lion.

Yellow’s relationship with his allies is that he is a shield and a foundation to others- he’s the leg that anchors Voltron to the earth below them and, in the manner of Atlas, takes the world onto his shoulders. Yellow’s burden is heavy, but Allura emphasizes that “his heart must be mighty”- the role of Yellow Paladin is gifted to those who are built for this, who have the strength and force of will.

And again, this sometimes creates more of a benign image than what we see in practice. The Yellow Lion is forceful and assured. In contrast to Blue, who presides over the realm of the emotions, Yellow rules the very material and practical realm- and he is particularly concerned with threats. He makes a shield of his own flesh to deny enemies access to his allies, but he also won’t sit there passively in the face of those foes- in inclination to take care of his own, the Yellow Lion will level mountains, tear through steel, shatter stone. Strength of will, strength of body, the determination of a protector who says “No, I don’t think so, you aren’t getting at my friends today.”

And, sometimes, slams into said friends hard enough to send them spinning.

The Red Lion is temperamental and the most difficult to master. It’s faster and more agile than the others, but also more unstable. Its pilot needs to be someone who relies more on instinct than skill alone. Keith, you will fly the Red Lion.

At first glance Red- and Keith himself- seem to be arrogant loners. “Temperamental”? Too cool for everybody else?

But this is a false pretense through and through, and the rest of the description warns us about that. “Unstable.” “Relies on instinct.” Red is a glass cannon of a Lion- the greatest damage output, but something he pays for with the greatest fragility.

Again, the more we understand of Keith, what at a glance seems like hotshot confidence, not needing a team, is actually self-sufficiency born out of a lifetime of isolation. The instability and temper of the Red Lion is born from a sense of being wounded- grief, loss, and isolation. Red is needy, loyal, and the most aggressively responsive to his paladin in danger. In s2e6, Allura tells us that Red wasn’t like this before- the Lions never did this before.

Red’s prior paladin, Alfor, was surrounded by people, and largely, happy. His loyalty and commitment to his family as the literal right hand of the paladins was rewarded by a relatively long peacetime, the esteem of his peers, the adoration of his people. Those who were close to Alfor have nothing but good things to say about him. It’s a big deal in the flashback when Zarkon actually argues with Alfor over the rift.

But that happiness crumbled. Alfor died trying to save everyone else from what became of the rift, of Zarkon. In loyalty, he left himself behind as a sacrifice- in duty, he faced Zarkon alone, trying to take responsibility for his commander. The person he trusted.

And Red followed Alfor with bonding to Keith. Keith- the orphan of uncertain history- Keith, not a loner, but lonely. And connecting to Keith, we see Red with newfound anxiety, newfound sense of loss, newfound fear.

At his best, Red affords an insight beyond conventional means. It was Red who was able to reveal to Alfor the nature of Voltron and what their bodies needed to be- the nature of the paladin bond. Red is the oracle of Voltron. Like his combat capabilities, this is a potent advantage.

And yet, like fire, Red is needy. More than the other elements, fire can starve and weaken very easily. It can be destroyed, disrupted, extinguished- or rear up too greatly and destroy others around it. Fire can only thrive, really, with the nurturing graces of the other elements. Wood to feed it, air it can breathe. Water and earth to bank it and stop it from blazing out of control.

[oaklheart-blog]

Tochmarc Étaíne - The Wooing of Etain - Passage 1

This was written for use as study material for Thistle Protogrove of Ár nDraíocht Féin, a Druid Fellowship. That isn't to say that it cannot be used for study outside of this group, but please let me know if you are using it. Insight is welcome, discussion is encouraged. Using this well-known story, I hope to help folks become better acquainted with some of the Gods of Irish Religion. The writing in the notes is informal, in hopes of holding the attention of some very distracted readers. You know who you are--I still love you.

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There was a famous king of Ireland of the race of the Tuatha De Danann [Tua-dey-Dan-ann], Eochaid Ollathair [OH-hay-d ALLA-hay] his name. He was also named the Dagda [DAG-dha], for it was he that worked wonders for them and controlled the weather and the crops. Wherefore men said he was called The Good God. Elcmar of the Brug [BRU] had a wife whose name was Eithne [En-Ya] and another name for her was Boand [BO-an] . The Dagda desired her in carnal union. The woman would have yielded to the Dagda had it not been for fear of Elcmar [elk-MER] , so great was his power. Thereupon the Dagda sent Elcmar away on a journey to Bres [BUR-as: Beautiful] son of Elatha in Mag nInis [ALE-ah-hah-in-Mag-Nin-ISH] , and the Dagda worked great spells upon Elcmar as he set out, that he might not return betimes (that is, early) and he dispelled the darkness of night for him, and he kept hunger and thirst from him.  He sent him on long errands, so that nine months went by as one day, for he had said that he would return home again between day and night. Meanwhile the Dagda went in upon Elcmar's wife, and she bore him a son, Aengus, and the woman was whole of her sickness when Elcmar returned, and he perceived not her offense, that is, that she had lain with the Dagda.

The Dagda meanwhile brought his son to Midir's [MID-ir] house in Bri Leith in Tethba [BRUH-ley / TEY-buh] , to be fostered. There Aengus was reared for the space of nine years. Midir had a great playing-field in Bri Leith [BRUH-ley]. Thrice fifty lads of the young nobles of Ireland were there and thrice fifty maidens of the land of Ireland [150 boys + 150 girls = 300]. Aengus was the leader of them all, because of Midir's great love for him, and the beauty of his form and the nobility of his people. He was also called Mac Og (the Young Son), for his mother said: "Young is the son who was begotten at the break of day and born betwixt it and evening."

****1: NOTES****

This passage serves several purposes. Not only is it terribly important in Irish mythology to establish the lineage of a God or Goddess, but it is also terribly crucial, especially in earlier literature (of which sort this is) to highlight the parents' merits, abilities, and so on. This foreshadows those of the child, while adding bulk to the narrative in general; and as we know, this was important because they didn't have television, computers, and smart-phones back then. Initially, we see the very typical and oft-mentioned 'praises' to the Dagda for his abilities "for it was he that worked wonders for them and controlled the weather and crops". The next half of this section highlights his other abilities, which include magic and control over nature and time. The Dagda is sometimes referred to as "King of the Sidhe", for it is he who is accredited with building the Sidhe mounds, and who keeps the sacred magic of the Druids. Hence his title as Father of the Druids. These traits are highlighted by the rather potent spell he works on Elcmar. Furthermore, his deception here shows his cunning, a trait that is highlighted in Angus as something of a trickster.

After Angus Og's birth, he is transported by his father to Midir's house in Tethba, who one of his older sons. This section has a few of those ever-present homages to the Druidic fixation with the number three. The first is, of course, the statement of the length of time of the pregnancy and the passage of days. Nine months in a pregnancy, and as we know if you divide nine by three you get, well . . . three. Elcmar is gone for the span of the pregnancy, but experiences time differently thanks to An Dagda's spell, which causes him to perceive nine months as one day. Nine divided by three is three, three divided by three is one. I may be losing some of you. In Irish myths, Gods are often three in one, and I have long assumed these numerical clues to be hints at that theme.

In the next paragraph, we are given more numbers to think on. Again, we have the theme of nine leading back to one, with Angus being reared in the span of nine years. The next reference to the number three is a little more elusive, if you're just reading it at face value, but a sequence of equations leads to an infinite progression of the sacred number three.

"Thrice fifty lads of the young nobles of Ireland were there and thrice fifty maidens of the land of Ireland."

3x50 = 150x2 = 300

300/3 = 100

100/3 = 33.3r

What does the infinite nature of the number three here indicate? Well, the number is in regard to those whom Angus is leader of, perhaps indicating his connection to the eternal and divine. Likely as well is this as a reference to his link with the royalty and kingship of the Tuatha De Dannan. Whatever the case,  it is clear that numbers were hugely important in Irish, considering the nature of Ogam and the Druids' calenders of the phases of the moon and other celestial bodies. Figures such as The Morrigan and The Dagda, who are primordial mother and father archetypes each have a significant link to the triadic theme. The former having 6-9 Goddesses in her conclave, and the latter being referred to as a God of "Druidic sciences", and who is referenced as being of "multi-formed triads". Three is ever-present in Druidic writing, and surrounds the origins and stories of the Gods, seeming to hint at their divine qualities; and Angus the Young is no exception.

Names, phrases, and words in this section:

Tuatha De Danann - Tua-day-Dan-ann - There is some debate on the proper pronunciation and spelling of this phrase, mainly over the usage of "De", or "of". I won't get into that too much here, but wanted to make it apparent, if anyone ever sees it spelled sans "De", not to be alarmed or confused. It means the same thing either way, and that is "The Tribe/People of Danu". Danu being, of course, the ever-present but rarely heard from mother-deity in Irish mythology.

Eochaid Ollathair - OH-hay-d ALLA-hay - This is the Dagda's "true" name, which is handy to know seeing as how he has about a dozen or so monikers, many of which indicating his red nature.The color red is associated with magic and otherworldly forces in Irish mythology. Here, though, his name means "Horseman Allfather".

Dagda - DAG-dha - The Dagda, when translated quite literally and simply, means "The Good God", though there are other translations that have its meaning as "God of All" or "God of the World".

Brugh - BREW - This word refers to a dwelling or a house, though is sometimes translated as "mansion" or "palace". Brughs are where the Aes Sidhe [Ays-Shee] in Irish mythology dwell. An Dagda's Brugh na Boinne - The House at the River Boinne, which brings us to . . .

Boan - BO-an - Also spelled Boinne, the River Boinne is named for her, and in Irish mythology she is the Goddess associated with this body of water. The mother of Angus Og, her name means "White Cow".

Elcmar - ELK-mer - His name means "spiteful/envious one", from the proto-Irish "Ealcmhar". He serves as steward to the Dagda, and is husband to Boan. He is killed by Angus Og, and is clearly an ill-fated character from the start of things.

Bres - BUR-as - Bres the Beautiful appears in several legends, most notably the Silver Hand of Nuadu. Outwardly, he is considered to be the most beautiful and intelligent man in Ireland, but inwardly his heart is small and tarnished, full of ego and selfish vanity. Think the Beast in Beauty and the Beast before he turned all big and gnarly. Bres is made defacto King of the Tuatha De Danann due to Nuada's incapacity as King, and he drives the kingdom into the ground. Eventually, you have the God of Speech doing back-breaking labor and An Dagda being starved near to dying. He ends up being ousted as King, though, and everything is okay.

Elatha in Mag nInis - ALE-ah-hah-in-Mag-Nin-ISH - Often billed simply as Elatha, for reasons that should be quite obvious, though his name isn't as intimidating as it at first appears. He is a prince of the Formorians, considered to be the "bad guys" in several fables, never-minding that Irish mythology doesn't always have traditional concepts of 'good' and 'bad'. Before you go writing off the Fomorians as 'bad guys', bear in mind that one of the greatest heros of Irish oral tradition was half-Fomorian: That is, the shining one, Lugh. Anyways, Elatha is most likely the namesake remnant of a long-forgotten moon deity, as he is said to have visited Eriu [UR-you], the matron Goddess of Ireland, at night by way of a shining, silver boat.

Bri Leith / Tethba - BRUH-ley / TEY-buh -  In this passage, it states that "the Dagda meanwhile brought his son to Midir's house in Bri Leith in Tethba, to be fostered". Bri Leith was a place in Tethba, which was a kingdom, the location of which is still up for question. Most can agree that it encompassed parts of Westmeath and most of County Longford--the North-West of the Province of Leinster. If you don't know what I'm talking about, look at a Map of Ireland and find Dublin. You'll be in roughly the correct region.

*Note on Irish Writing*

"Young is the son who was begotten at the break of day and born betwixt  it and evening."

This is a very round about way of saying that Angus was born in the afternoon. It would seem rather pointless to us, nowadays, to be so particularly wordy about this, but to the Druids it was all about the number of syllables present in their sentences. This, of course, is utterly destroyed when translated to English, but you understand the objective, I hope. These numbers usually referred back to the number three, or were otherwise numbers divisible by three. Some part of this roundabout speech is also a product of the syntax of the old Irish language. You may have found some examples of that in the excerpt so far, such as:

". . . the woman was whole of her sickness when Elcmar returned, and he perceived not her offense, that is, that she had lain with the Dagda."

A modernized version would read:

" . . . she was no longer pregnant when Elcmar came back, and he had no idea that she had lain with the Dagda."

It is important to remember this syntax difference, and the numeric syllable importance whilst reading Irish myths, as it can be very easy to become confused in the esoteric style. Honesty is my way of conveyance, of this subject, I speak not untrue. See, it's easy once you get the hang of it, but until you do it can make your eyes glaze over.