#also apparently switch players are in hell trying to play but

[hassianlovebot]

and actually,,, i Think a big reason why i liked the chapaa chase at the beginning was because there was nothing else to do at the first one. but then the hotpot happened,, and now the shooting game,,, it's like they keep releasing other minigames that are Way more fun, rewarding, and fair. and most importantly (for me at least), aren't overstimulating and/or stressful as hell.

comparing the chapaa chase to those two and it's like? no wonder i'm finding it more annoying. i feel like i was able to overlook a lot of the issues with the game at first because i had nothing to compare it against. but now we have Two amazing examples of minigames that people love and don't find stressful. one of which was so popular they added it to the game full time!! there's no way they'd be able to do that with the chapaa chase aljdhg

i feel like every time the maji market happens, i like the chapaa chase less and less.....

[terapsina]

I Missed You - elejah fic

Happy New Year, @vorpalmuchness (sorry for missing Christmas).

- ao3 -

For Elena, being without humanity was very much like being in a house that had burned down around her.

All the comfort and warmth of a home replaced by blackened beams and scorched walls; with broken, half-destroyed photo frames encircling nothing but ash.

It was numbness. Darkness. Silence.

There was no emotion.

But there was... instinct; and hunger. The ever-present rage that kept her foot firmly on that switch. And a strange fascination with playing with fire.

This was why Elijah's sudden appearance and the kiss that had driven the breath from her lungs and sent a simmer of resentment to warm somewhere in the very depths of her chest, did not quite make Elena want to run.

It should have. Elijah was a threat.

"You listen very carefully to me, Stefan, if anything whatsoever happens to Katherine, I will descend upon Elena."

Elena rolled her eyes. Bored.

He was a threat but not because of the reasons she was sure Stefan and Damon were probably freaking out about right now. Not because he could "descent upon her" and tear her to pieces before she could so much as flinch back - she wasn't sure if she'd care if he did and it was moot anyway, he wasn't going to. She knew what it looked like when Elijah made a genuine threat and this here was as empty as it came.

Likewise, he wasn't a threat because he could compel her humanity back - no, Elena knew he wouldn't.

Elijah wasn't a threat because of who he was. He was a threat because of who he'd become to the Elena that was at the moment safely buried under the burned-down remains of her humanity.

That other, more foolish Elena might have done her very best to remain ignorant but the Elena she was right now did not bother with the guilty white lies she'd told herself then.

Elena had always been a little bit too aware of Elijah; had seen a little bit too much behind the curtain. Found herself just a little too defensive of their interactions.

Found it just a smidge too hard to look away.

It was the way her name on his lips felt like a caress; the way she'd felt his eyes like a touch even as she did look away; the way his letter had gotten tucked in a dark little corner beneath her mattress so that it was close at hand and yet safely out of view from accidental discovery.

Most of all Elijah had been the one person around whom everything within her had sharpened into bright, sharp focus. Their negotiations - a dance between two players, the threat of the consequences she'd face if she failed to see the hidden pitfalls in their deals making her mind run on all cylinders. But also the breath of fresh air that was his respect of her as an opponent, - or an ally, or a person, - making her feel like she actually had agency over her own choices for a change.

Even during the moments when everything had inevitably gone to hell again and their gazes slashed betrayal and regret into the other...

Elena knew where her heart had been slowly heading.

Where it might have landed if things had been different. If he hadn't left, if she hadn't gotten entrapped in a sire bond so all-encompassing that the only breath of freedom she'd felt in months was after she'd followed that last command and the voiceless scream Elena had not even noticed in the back of her head had faded into gray alongside her grief.

And all this meant that Elena should be trying to get as far away from Elijah as fast as possible.

But something spiteful and rattling made her want to poke the beehive more.

"You're both idiots," she informed him.

"Excuse me?"

She exhaled loudly to show her annoyance. "What happened to you, Elijah? I mean, I thought you were supposed to be a man of honor. And yet you've been hooking up with Katherine this entire time?"

It wasn't jealousy, with the switch turned off she was safe from that. She didn't - couldn't - care that he'd apparently been shacking up with her doppelganger since leaving Mystic Falls. But the idea that he was yet another man who couldn't tell the difference between her and Katherine grated against something sharp, leaving a metallic taste at the back of her throat.

Irritation? Yeah, that was it.

Being without emotions wasn't quite like being without feelings.

It's just that what feelings were there were surface-level and mercurial. And right now they were spite and irritation and the urge to scrape a bloody claw over some of the soft tissue Elijah had exposed to Elena when he'd run his fingers over the strand of hair encircling her face and told her he'd missed her while thinking her someone else.

She wondered how long it had taken him to lose all common sense.

Katherine did always seem to work fast; had a curious knack for inserting herself in the spans at just the right moment for maximum personal gain.

She could almost admire it were it not for how it also likewise always ended with Elena needing to deal with the consequences of Katherine's actions.

Or with her brother cold, and dead, and gone forever.

"Well, I suppose this man of honor always shared a connection with Katherine. She contacted me when she learned about the Cure. We thought we could be of mutual use to one another." Elijah’s voice was calm and matter-of-fact, his turned back making it impossible for Elena to read whatever the true thoughts behind the words.

She wondered why it was that he seemed to be avoiding Elena's eyes now. Guilt for kissing the wrong woman? Shame for not having recognized that she wasn't Katherine? And damn if that alone wasn't encouragement enough to keep her own humanity well and truly dead.

Guilt was useless. Pathetic. And had been one of the bricks she'd laid in the path that led her straight down into the hell that was her sire bond to Damon.

"Of mutual use," she mocked him with sudden mirth. "Please. You fell for her trap just like every other one of those idiots."

"You underestimate me, Elena. I know who she is. I know what she's done." There was something about the way he was straightening his cuff-links, about the way he walked past her, forcing Elena to turn on her heel if she wanted to keep her eyes on him. Something about the way Elijah still kept his head turned, that made her think there were thoughts he was trying to keep concealed.

"And you think she's changed?" Was he really that blind? She looked into his eyes as he finally stopped in his circling and faced her. "She's playing you, she lied to you, Elijah."

"She didn't lie to me about your transformation," he contested, something sad flickering briefly over his face.

And then he seemed to truly look at Elena, with eyes that in any other circumstances would have pinned her in place and made nervous little butterflies flutter their wings in her stomach. In these circumstances however all Elena felt were faint echoes of hunger that reminded her that she hadn't ended up snacking on that redhead Katherine had compelled and Elena and Rebekah had used to find her.

"You're not just a vampire, though, are you?" he said and stepped closer, narrowing the distance between them until they were nearly as close to one another as they'd been when he'd slid his fingers over the back of her neck and pulled her face against his own. When he'd kissed her mid-word and she'd felt blood roar against her eardrums; felt his lips on hers and his fingers in her hair. Sensation running through her nerves, lighting them up like Christmas lights in December and--

...a flush of heat from within the heart that should be frozen over reminded Elena that playing with fire was only fun as long as she didn't let the bitter burn ignite into a fire.

Elijah stared at her like he could see straight through her into that wall protecting Elena from her pain and... Elena went blank, pushing even harder against the switch, smoothing annoyance into apathy - attraction into boredom - until all Elijah could possibly touch would be the frozen surface of a still lake. Cold and smooth, without cracks to be exploited.

"There's... something else. You're not yourself. You've abandoned your emotions, why?"

Because she'd died with Damon’s blood in her system. Because she'd become a walking, talking doll that did what she was bid. Because her sire told her to and the poor, sired fledge that she was, she'd had no choice but to obey.

She would never allow herself to become that again. She wouldn't let them win.

"My brother's dead," she said instead and finished vindictively in a monotone meant to cut. "Your girlfriend killed him."

Real shock crashed over his expression and Elena felt a vague twist in her stomach. Relief? No. She was free of relief, and why would it bring her that particular feeling anyway? "You didn't know?"

Katherine hadn't told him.

Then she snorted, surprised by her own surprise. "Of course you didn't."

Why would Katherine have said something that might make Elijah see exactly how little it was that she'd changed?

"She lied." There was anger in his eyes now. Disappointment. But strangely no hurt.

Something snagged against that last observation; something minor beginning to nag at the back of her brain.

'I missed you,' Elijah had whispered against Elena's lips.

But the Cure that was giving Elena such a headache recently had only shown up on the scene in the past few months. How long ago could Katherine have called him? How long could it have possibly been since the last time Elijah saw Katherine?

Mind whirring she kept herself still, staring back into Elijah’s eyes and not letting a hint of her thoughts through. Letting Elijah see only that absence of humanity as she answered with words that would give him nothing. "I hate to say I told you so but... duh."

Who exactly had Elijah thought he was kissing when he'd joined her under the roof of that gazebo?

Katherine? Or... Elena?

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 070

Time for a baseball episode (derogatory).

Sigh... All right, let’s just get through this.  So Champa contacts Beerus and proposes a friendly game of baseball to build “good relations between Universe 6  and 7.”  I’m pretty sure the assemlbed teams represent the only people in either universe that are aware of the other universe.  

Some issues with this premise:

1) Champa is only doing this as a pretense to go to Earth and enjoy its delicious cuisine.   This seems pointless, as Universe 6′s own Earth was restored in Episode 41.   Beerus specifically wished for this so that Champa could enjoy Earth food whenever he liked.   Did he forget about this, or does U6′s Earth food just suck?   Or maybe the U6 Earthlings destroyed themselves all over again?  I mean, the Super Dragon Balls could bring them back to life, but that doesn’t resolve whatever they were fighting over when they died.

2) Champa can’t even field a whole team, so Vegeta and Goten switch sides to make it fair.  Maybe they should have organized a Pickleball tournament instead.

3) Only three characters in this cartoon know how to play baseball, and two of them are the umpires.  Everyone keeps fucking around and/or trying to hurt one another, because it’s a Dragon Ball cartoon and that’s how they all roll. 

Let me just focus on Yamcha here, because he’s the only character who manages to look cool in all of this.  Goku manages to strike out Champa, then Yamcha takes over pitching and strikes out two more batters.  Then he’s the first at bat, and Vegeta beans him because he thinks the object is to incapacitate the opposing team.   So Yamcha gets a free trip to first base. 

Then he steals second and third because Champa doesn’t understand the rules well enough to stop him.  At one point he throws the ball at Yamcha to cut him off, and apparently that’s illegal.   I thought you could do that, but now that I think about it, it doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Then Beerus and Champa start fighting above the field, and Whis and Vados have to stop them before it destroys the entire universe.  Destroyer Gods fighting is supposed to be a serious taboo, just like time travel.  Funny how Beerus destroyed Bulma’s lab, but he gets to keep his hands.

Anyway, Whis and Vados call off the rest of the game due to the Destroyers’ poor sportsmanship, so we didn’t even get a full inning into this nonsense.  Champa is horrified to learn that the game is a tie, but it’s not.  Universe 7 wins, because...

... While Beerus and Whis were fighting, and all the other players were cowering in terror, Yamcha managed to steal home plate.  So U7 wins, 1-0. 

This whole episode is played up like a backhanded compliment to Yamcha.  He perserveres through the whole episode to win the game, and everyone congratulates him for it, but there’s also a lot of dunking on Yamcha too.  Like “Way to go, Yamcha, I guess you’re not completely useless after all!” That sort of thing.

Also, this whole “Yamcha loves this because he used to be a major leaguer” thing kind of contradicts the very episode of DBZ that this is referring to.  Yeah, Yamcha was the star player for the Taitans in Age 761, but he also found the game boring as hell, and he only did it for the money. 

Sure, he’s had 18 years to change his mind about the game, and I suspect he’s mostly into this because it’s a chance to look cool in front of the others, but this episode is still kind of a let-down for me.  There was a baseball issue of the Tenchi Muyo! comic, there was a baseball episode of Deep Space Nine, there was a baseball episode of Transformers, etc. etc.  This is the literal definition of a trope shows use to blow off an episode.

[kohakhearts]

shigegou for the ship game! convert me!

CRACKS KNUCKLES. MY TIME HAS COME

shigegou: ship it!

(side note: i still think i've gotta get serious about using splitdecisionshipping for them until it sticks, lmao)

what made you ship it?

actually this is one of those cases of i shipped them by proxy for ot3 purposes. i liked their dynamic but when i watched jn initially i hadn't yet done my os rewatch and i was actually pretty normal about gary oak (as a kid he wasn't really a big fave or anything and i hadn't actively watched anything but the pokemon movies since middle school so). they definitely gave that same vibe as os pallet though like the "i have a crush on you i can't deal with" so i think i liked that dynamic :p

what are your favourite things about the ship?

ok so now fast forward to the great anipoke rewatch/watch (since i'd never seen the later gens before) of 2023. i got really unwell about gary. DJFGHJFKDDFHJDK but i'd been unwell about goh from when i watched jn the year before so it was...not difficult to begin drawing parallels. i think a lot of people point out how similar the shigegou dynamic is to the early shigesato dynamic and like. that's true and valid! but as individual characters, gary and goh have so much in common. gary's whole schtick is that he travels alone. he doesn't wait around for ash to catch up to him, necessarily. he has his own ideas of what he should be doing and how he should be doing it and mr "i've already got ten badges" here sure as hell isn't a slacker when it comes to proving how Awesome and Capable he is. we never, not once, see gary working as a team with anyone until pokemon chronicles (power play is something else to me. to be clear). by his own admission in jn, he wasn't much of a team player and that's a big part of why he pushed goh so hard about teamwork and collaboration (ok. he doesn't say this so much as goh kinda figures it out and gary doesn't actively deny it. but we the viewers who have known gary oak since 1997 know enough to say yeah he kinda sucked and put people down for his own sake, this tracks). they're both very goal-oriented but in a different way than ash is. i think where ash sees other people are like, a source of insight and inspiration, gary and goh both tend to see them as obstacles (ironically, ash is the first person they each didn't see this way)

also, they both have an interest in like. catching and researching pokemon. gary obviously likes battling too, but in i think showdown at the poke-corral, oak says that gary has caught over 200 pokemon. but he also cares deeply about them all (in jp he often calls his mons some variation of "partner," "honey," "sweetie" and we see him rotate his pokemon a lot - he doesn't have just one team, he switches them out a lot!). goh has a bit of a different approach, yes, but fundamentally i think the interest comes from the same place. and there is no doubt that they both care about their pokemon.

so like. i think those qualities are probably things gary sees, but even more than that, i think he sees a lot of his own worst qualities in goh: arrogant, self-absorbed, putting himself in a position where he is so afraid of people letting him down (though in gary's case, i think this is actually more being of afraid of letting other people down than the reverse) that he doesn't even try to do things that would make him happy or necessarily improve his capabilities as a trainer/research/person in general. but more to the afraid of letting people down point...i think it seems likely that initially gary sees goh as overcompensating for a fear of failure, like he does. but that's not exacty the case with goh, and through more work together it would become a lot more apparent that his issue is actually that he doesn't trust anyone but himself (and ash, by the time they meet - but even then, there are a lot of moments that suggest that trust is tenuous at the best of times). and i think gary would see that as a challenge, too. so idk i'm rambling here but there are just a lot of directions i think you could take with them that are super interesting. gary's position as being, like, an aleady fully-developed character who had to have his big moments of upset, etc. by the time he meets goh make it interesting. lots of opportunity to delve into their parallels and approach them as two people who actually fundamentally make each other better - goh by encouraging gary's own self-awareness and empathy, and gary by pointing out all the flaws in goh's logic because he used to think the same way.

is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

it's like me and 4 other people brain rotting (actually went into the tag the other day out of curiosity and discovered that even though they have over 50 fics on ao3, only 4 aren't a polyamorous or side ship kind of deal so. Yeah) so i don't think there are even any unpopular opinions to be had except maybe that it's a good dynamic and they deserve more love </3

send me a ship!

[primofate]

i'm trying to motivate myself to farm his bis set but it's honestly really hard (ar 59, burnt out as hell). That and I don't really have a team comp built around bloom reactions so it's not as efficient.

Also the information I give below is my personal suggestion, also gotten from several guides I've followed.

As of now, I'd recommend a mix of any of the 2-pieces between the ones that give +15% anemo damage bonus and +18% atk, or 4 piece shimenawa, if you don't mind not having his burst up as much. Obviously the newest one is the best for him but ya girl's tired™ with artifact farming so he'll take what he can get for now.

For weapons, aside from his signature, all of the 5-star catalysts with atk/crit substats can work for him (kagura's, lost prayer, skyward atlas). 4 stars include the dodoco tales, the widsith, solar pearl, and mappa mare—the blackcliff catalyst works too but it's not as viable.

The team comps... Imma be honest with you, mine is also clunky. It's recommended that you have a good shielder because he's super vulnerable to getting interrupted— i haven't tried him out for abyss because I don't have a good comp for him, and also because faruzan never came home (plus apparently she's only good at c6) so his damage isn't like floor 12 clear worthy just yet. One team comp I wanted to try is double pyro + anemo with venti, bennett and ideally thoma for the shield, but I don't have thoma built 💀 there are others like a taser team with a hydro character + two electro ones (ex. Fischl + beidou), but again, ideally he needs a shield and I don't have beidou built either. Another is freeze with layla, but I don't have her. I have diona built but her shield isn't as strong.

TL;DR I don't have a solid group recommendation, sorry ;-;

Anyway yeah, here's my take on his builds. You can probably find tons of these in the internet already, anyways. Sorry for rambling in your inbox!

I'm going to ramble as well! Haha!

Weapon wise I managed to get his signature so I'm alright with that.

I'm gunna put a keep reading on here so it's not too long

Artefacts...Well, just like you it'll take some time to farm the new domain so I've slapped a 4pc Viridescent on him for now. But also I don't really know if I want the new artefact on him, I know it's the ideal one but I think Viridescent is better for elemental reactions and I love playing with that (except that I don't even have much proper elemental reactions with his current team comp, lol. So I'm still going to farm for the new artefact)

I also wanted to do double pyro with benny and thoma but just like you my thoma isn't built and I don't think I really want to build him if he's not a very flexible team player (e.g. If I can't put him in other teams I'm not gunna bother) So my current team for Scara right now is Yunjin (for the Normal Attack and Attack Speed buff) + Zhongli (for the shield) so that gives me double Geo with 15% damage increase and the last character I usually switch it in and out depending on what elemental reaction I want plus the talent effect on Scaramouche. The problem with this team comp is that it doesn't really play a lot with elemental reactions hahaha it just seems very limited, but it works, since my Yunjin and Zhongli has been properly built since forever and they are very flexible characters. Much like you I've been constantly looking at other shielders though, to at least get a non-geo character to be a shield (I always feel like putting a Geo in an anemo forward team is a waste but I don't have a lot of choices at the moment haha)

True that there are a lot of online guides but most of them rely on Faruzan! That and they almost always assume that we have all the characters built and don't really mix and match a lot of diff characters so its nice to hear what others have!

I'm surprised you didn't get Faruzan tho! Haha.... I C6ed her before I even got Scaramouche...I guess he was being real stubborn, lost my 50-50 to Diluc before I got him but eh, I like Diluc.

Thanks for your time! :D

[mindymortondev]

State Machine Hell

Originally written on February 13th, 2023.

Today’s the big day, time to install the animations I’ve been working on into the game!  I’ve created a little demo of all the animations flowing together in my last post. I’m actually writing this after multiple hours of messing around with code and such.  This is likely going to be a difficult task.

The tutorial I’m following has much simpler art assets for it’s game and so the code really doesn’t work for me at all which means I have to research new methods to fully animate my character in-game.

For the first step, I actually had to break down all the animations with multiple steps down into separate files.

Aside from breaking down the animations, I also had to reduce the resolution of the drawings.  This was already the plan from the start but now that it’s finally happened, Mindy does look a little rough around her edges, but it doesn’t bother me too much.  Plus playing the game with the 4k drawing really hurt my computer’s performance.

Having to take the time to do this felt like a bastardisation of my animations, lol.  It really felt so unnatural to see them so dissected in this mechanical overview.  But hopefully it means I will be able to use the full range of my animations in the end!

I’m a little nervous about what this decision could mean in the future for my project.  The game is currently bound to be at a 1920x1080 resolution, which is standard HD, but definitely not as nice as 4k or even Full HD.  I would love to be able to scale the game’s resolution which is a pretty normal feature for computer-based games.  It might be less of a problem if this were for a console release?  Unsure.  However, the main thing I’m wondering is if these scalable options have whole different sets of game assets at different resolutions or if they just take the high-res ones and scale them down.  Apparently, the ladder option can actually impact performance though so I’m really not sure.  Either way, it sounds like it could be a daunting task to work with in the future.  Thankfully it’s not really a worry to me right now.

Also, I realized I never posted about this, but I decided to switch my animation process from Procreate to Rough Animator on my iPad.  I’ll likely still use Procreate for initial pencil roughs since it only requires a single layer and runs a little smoother for me, but for final linework and color, it will be Rough Animator.  Nothing really beats actual animation layer support.  It makes life WAY more flexible.

The next step is figuring out how to make these animations work with the code logic.  Essentially, I really want to avoid using If-Then-Else statements because those slow the computer down if you have too many, so a solution I found in this Reddit post is to use a system called a “Finite State Machine.”  Sounds pretty cool and this video by Shaun Spalding (it’s always him) gives a very brief explanation of the concepts of a state machine.  To make a very quick TL;DR version though, essentially you write code for every possible “state” the player could be in, and then you tell Game Maker Studio to load that state based on what the player does.  If that didn’t make sense, try watching the video instead.  

Anyways this is essentially the most likely way I can get my animations working properly.  Not only that, but it also seems like it could be extremely important in developing other things later on, like climbing ladders, walking on ice, or who knows what.  But basically, anything that could change the way the character moves that isn’t “left, right, and jump” will likely require its own “state” and subsequent code.  Frankly, it’s a headache for me right now, especially since I’m writing this at midnight!  I’ll have to spend a few days on all this, unfortunately.

To make my life easier with state machines and keep me on track with my art output, I’ve decided to invest about $5 in a premade state machine.  This is essentially the wireframe for the code, but I still have to put in the effort to learn and understand it as well as code all the specifics of each state.  Essentially, I bought a bike with no wheels, and I have to teach myself where to get the wheels and how to attach them to the bike.

Game Maker’s official article on Finite State Machines.

I’m a little nervous about what this decision could mean in the future for my project.  The game is currently bound to be at a 1920x1080 resolution, which is standard HD, but definitely not as nice as 4k or even Full HD.  I would love to be able to scale the game’s resolution which is a pretty normal feature for computer-based games.  It might be less of a problem if this were for a console release?  Unsure.  However, the main thing I’m wondering is if these scalable options have whole different sets of game assets at different resolutions or if they just take the high-res ones and scale them down.  Apparently, the ladder option can actually impact performance though so I’m really not sure.  Either way, it sounds like it could be a daunting task to work with in the future.  Thankfully it’s not really a worry to me right now.

Also, I realized I never posted about this, but I decided to switch my animation process from Procreate to Rough Animator on my iPad.  I’ll likely still use Procreate for initial pencil roughs since it only requires a single layer and runs a little smoother for me, but for final linework and color, it will be Rough Animator.  Nothing really beats actual animation layer support.  It makes life WAY more flexible.

But that’s pretty much it.  On a slightly different note, I am worried about other classes also impeding my progress on this project.  I feel like I stormed ahead the first two weeks and now I feel like a snail.  Multiple reading assignments and a couple of different personal projects are getting in my way.  I’m trying to balance my stuff out, but this is definitely why I shouldn’t be my own boss!

I expect the next time I update this; it will be with more information on state systems.  I don’t think I’ve ever posted a video here of the game in action directly, so I’ll link to the one I used from my presentation here--

[lauramkaye]

Disco Elysium For Beginners

So apparently my cunning plan is working and some of my mutuals are interested in learning more about my recent obsession by playing the game Disco Elysium. Great!!! In your honor, and so that I will have more people to talk about the game with, I present to you Laura's Beginner's Guide to Playing Disco Elysium.

What Is It Even About?

Hope, despair, poverty, the human condition, politics, pinball, art, love, loss, communism, experiencing a bisexual awakening in your forties, colonization, dancing, substance use disorders, unions, mental illness, truth, trying to be a good person in a completely broken society, beauty, the end of the world, joy, complicated relationships, kindness, intersectionality, the complex and problematic nature of the profession of police detective, cryptids, juvenile delinquents, PTSD, and falling helplessly in love with Kim Kitsuragi.

Oh wait, did you mean the plot?

You play as an amnesiac detective who wakes up after an apocalyptic bender that obliterated his memories. There is a dead body hanging in a tree behind your hotel, and you are there to find out who killed him with the help of Kim Kitsuragi, a detective from another precinct who has also been put on the case and who will be your partner while you are in town. You can, as the official site puts it, "become a hero, or an absolute disaster of a human being."

Where to Get It

Disco Elysium is available for Mac and PC via Steam and for XBox and Playstation (both current and previous generation) and Nintendo Switch. The current version is "The Final Cut" which includes full voice acting. The Steam version goes on sale pretty frequently - I'd keep an eye on Black Friday/Cyber Monday sales if you're interested in picking it up. The MSRP is $40 but you can often find it for around $20 if you look for a sale - the PS4 version is $17 on Amazon right now (11/15/2022).

I'm Not Really A Gamer, Can I Still Play?

Absolutely! DE does not require any "twitchy" gameplay - you interact with the game by reading/listening to text, selecting dialogue options to talk to people, and clicking things/people to interact with them in some way. It runs very much like a tabletop RPG, where all the uncertain things are decided by skill checks and dice rolls.

Notably, DE is quite replayable even though the solution to the mystery doesn't change, because different character builds will have very different experiences and may even see completely different sidequests and dialogue. Unlike most RPGs, DE makes many checks silently, in the background, and if you don't pass the check you just don't see the relevant content and never know you missed anything. I'm on my third full and sixth partial playthrough and I still find new things.

Mechanically, playing Disco Elysium goes something like this:

Go into a new area.

Look around. You will see little colored circles appearing, either on top of items/people in the environment, or sometimes around your player character's head.

Click on the colored circles to interact with them. You will learn something, do something, or start a conversation.

Doing stuff and talking to people gives you XP! Every time you get 100 XP, you get one Skill Point. You can either use it to increase one of your skills, unlock a slot in your Thought Cabinet, or forget a Thought from your Thought Cabinet. You don't have to spend them right away; you can save them up if you want to.

Once you have clicked everything you want to click and talked to everyone you want to talk to for now, go somewhere else.

Repeat.

What the Hell is a Thought Cabinet?

As you go through the game, you will unlock "thoughts" that you can ponder. You have a certain number of slots in your "thought cabinet" where you can be mulling over an idea; you start with three slots and can unlock more up to a max of 12. Thoughts will have certain effects while you are thinking about them, which might be positive or negative. While you are still thinking them over, you can equip or unequip them at will. Each "thought project" takes a specific amount of time.

Once you have spent the designated time on a thought project, you will see the message "Breakthrough Imminent" and then you will "internalize" the thought. The thought will have effects on the gameplay, which can include skill buffs and debuffs or other effects. Once the thought is internalized, you can no longer unequip it. It will take up that slot permanently unless you spend another skill point to forget it.

So what thoughts should I internalize?

A lot of them are mainly for flavor or role-playing but a few notable ones:

Actual Art Degree gives you bonus XP when you pass a passive Conceptualization check. This is the most common passive check in the game, so AAD is the thought to take if you want to get as many skill points as possible. You unlock the thought by talking about art as much as you can.

Get Jamais Vu as early as you can on Day 1 by talking with Joyce Messier at the dock. It opens up some key dialogue options and skill checks as well as giving you bonus XP whenever you click an orb.

Ace's High or Ace's Low gives you extra Empathy bonuses towards Kim. Which you will want, because Kim is the Best.

Wompty-Dompty-Dom Centre is available starting on Day 3 and will give you $2 and some XP when you pass an Encyclopedia check.

Homo-Sexual Underground. Its only effect is to allow you to talk about sexuality with Kim. Therefore it is the most important thought in the game, because approximately 90% of players will be in love with Kim by the second in-game day.

Okay, What About Skills?

Your character "build" (strengths, weaknesses, abilities, etc.) is primarily determined by two things that you can adjust as the game progresses by spending Skill Points: Skills and Thoughts.

Skills in DE are similar to skills in other RPGs in that they determine how good you are at various things. The main difference is that instead of the more traditional skills like strength, dexterity, or charisma, DE has skills like Savoir Faire, Rhetoric, and Empathy. As befits a game that emphasizes the story and characters over combat, the skills are a lot less about how good you are at punching monsters and a lot more about the state of your character's head. The skills are broken down into four categories:

Blue or Intellect skills - brainy stuff like Logic, Rhetoric, and Encyclopedia.

Purple or Psyche skills - emotional stuff like Empathy, Volition, and Authority.

Red or Physical skills - the condition of your physical body. Endurance, Electrochemistry, and Pain Threshold live here.

Yellow or Motorics skills - how well you use your physical body. Things like Hand Eye Coordination, Perception, and Composure.

There are good descriptions of each skill in the game. At the beginning, you can choose from three predefined archetypes (Thinker, Sensitive, or Physical) or create your own by allocating 12 points between the four skill categories and picking one skill as your "signature."

What Is The Best Skill Build?

There isn't an "best" one! You can play the game equally successfully with any build, but different builds will feel very different to play, especially early in the game.

That said, I would recommend against doing a 3-3-3-3 build because it just won't be as fun. Most skills generally start to really show effects at around a 4, and failing skill checks is often funny and shouldn't lock you out of completing any checks except if you've done something really unusual.

Basically the "best" build for you is whatever is the most fun - pick something that speaks to you and go for it.

In general, Intellect builds will get a lot of worldbuilding and lore and be really good at detecting. Psyche builds will have a better sense of other people and the world and strong intuition. Physical builds tend to be able to punch their way through obstacles but aren't very smart or empathetic and struggle with following their gut instincts/cravings without thinking about it. Motorics builds will find several early-game skill checks a lot easier for them and will be good at skills like shooting, picking locks, noticing stuff, keeping cool under pressure, and talking about cars.

Some key things to consider when deciding on your character build:

Encyclopedia is the skill that gives you lore and worldbuilding information.

If you want to min-max your build to get as many skill points as possible, make sure you have good Conceptualization so you can unlock the thought Actual Art Degree.

Esprit de Corps is similar to Empathy, but it works specifically on other cops. Doing a run with high EDC helps unlock a ton of lore about many of the other key characters in the game.

Electrochemistry will try to get you to drink, smoke, have sex, and take drugs. It will also give you insights into the drinking/smoking/drugging/sex habits of others. VERY high EC will allow you to unlock a leopard-print unitard underwear option for your player character.

You have two health pools, Health and Morale. Health is affected by the Endurance skill and Morale is affected by the Volition skill. If you start a game with only 1 point in either purple or red skills, that can mean you die very easily early in the game. My first playthrough I did a high INT build and I died in the first room of the game from turning on the lights even though I had a terrible hangover. So just be aware.

Shivers is my favorite skill in the game and I'm not alone there. Shivers allows you to have a connection to your city. A lot of the best moments in the game come during Shivers checks and the writing is generally really evocative. Great for atmosphere.

My favorite skills are Esprit de Corps for character knowledge, Shivers for cool atmosphere, and Drama because Drama is just really funny.

What Else Do I Need To Know?

If you seem stuck, go somewhere else and talk to more people OR spend a skill point to level up a skill.

You can zoom in and out. My first playthrough I didn't realize this for a while and kept missing certain characters who were standing somewhere I needed to be zoomed out to see.

A lot of things that are usually part of game menus have to be unlocked. You get a map by buying it at the bookstore. You get your stats and to-do list by finding your police ledger.

Cuno seems horrible but if you gain his trust there's a lot of depth to his character. There is also a potential ending where Cuno acts as your partner during the endgame.

Do the sidequests. They are often the best stories in the game.

Don't be TOO afraid of disappointing Kim. If you avoid being racist/sexist/hurting people, he will usually come around.

That said, if you play as a terrible person he won't be your friend anymore. I don't know how people can take the emotional trauma of that, but some people do!

Save frequently, Just In Case.

Don't be too hasty to reset. Let things play out. Most of the deaths are pretty funny and sometimes you might think you died but really you didn't.

That said, it's fine to reload a save if you messed something up. It's a single player game, it isn't "cheating" to do this if you want to.

If you fail the red check at the church it is extra double okay to reload a save and make that not have happened. (This is probably one of the two highest-stakes skill checks in the game because if you succeed you get one of the best scenes in the game and if you fail you get one of the worst.)

Look at everything and talk to everyone.

I like to keep at least one unused skill point at all times in case I need to unlock a skill check I've failed once.

If you arrest someone or send the body to Processing, Kim will be gone for the rest of the day. There are some things you can only do with him and some you can only do without him, so plan accordingly.

Hope this helps and always feel free to ask if you want more help/get stuck/need hints/just want to scream about the game with me!!

[cloudninetonine]

Something funny I thought about in relation to the Player Au is some of the crazy shenanigans the games let you pull and what that would be like for the characters actually experiencing them. Especially when you stop to consider that the games don’t really show Link’s and/or assorted NPCs reactions to various things. Let’s count them off by game, yes?

  * The Original (which I have actually played! Retro-gaming ftw!); you can bomb walls and floors to find secret places that hold everything from shops to fairies to a random moblin who gives you rupees for no apparent reason (I, the player, was confused by that last one. I can only imagine what Hyrule’s reaction must’ve been). You can also accidentally bomb your way into the wrong cave and be charged for “door repairs” by the old man inside it

  * ALTTP; you can buy a bee of all things from a red shield shop in the dark world. Not even the shopkeeper knows why that’s there. And then of course there’s one quest in the game where you have to drag a damned chest across the country only to be given an empty bottle as payment.

  * The Oracle games; bump into Maple enough time in either game and she eventually switches out her broom for a vacuum and in a linked game that gets traded in for a flying saucer! (What the hell Maple?! Where’d you even get those from?!).

In Seasons if you set the weather to winter and go into a normally inaccessible house, there’s a green-haired girl named Holly who says, and I quote, “Hey, you're not Santa!”.

There’s a chest with a single rupee! (Link and Player both would prob be deadpanning and going “are you kidding me...”).

There’s this funny little end-game credits skit in a non-Linked run of Ages where Link tries to teach Ralph how to perform a Spin Attack, and Ralph ends up accidentally doing the Hurricane Spin instead before collapsing from dizziness.

  * Four Swords; you can pick up the pots and throw them, and not just at monsters or to break them but also at the other Links! Which then causes the pot to get stuck on their head for a while as everything goes completely black save the character sprite. Which made this hilarious image pop into my head of one of the colors picking up a pot to throw it at some monster only to completely miss and hit one of the other colors instead. (I’m still not sure which combo is funnier, Blue hitting either Green or Vio, or Vio misjudging his aim and hitting Blue!)

  * Pretty much everything you can do in BoTW. Full stop.

  * Wind Waker; attacking a moblin from behind or using the grappling hook on them nets you some pretty funny animations. The grappling hook is especially so because you actually steal the moblin’s necklace and it’ll actually stare at you for a moment at the audacity.

You can steal a Stalfos’s mace while it’s in pieces and when it reforms it’ll realize what’s missing and try to use one of its own arms as nunchucks.

Drop a bomb into an area with a bunch of moblins and the idiots will attack it, with predictable results.

Drop another and they'll run away panicking!

  * In both BoTW and Wind Waker you can make certain monsters to engage in friendly fire against each other and eventually they’ll start attacking their allies instead of Link in revenge.

  * OoT and Majora’s Mask let you have a bit of fun with the masks. Using the Captain's Hat and the Bremen mask during King of Ikana boss fight is a hoot. (On a slightly unrelated note, the verses books strategy guide for Majora’s Mask is just a riot!)

The fact that in both games you can find cows where they have no business being with no explanation.

  * In nearly every game you can beat nearly every boss (including the big bad!) with either the fishing pole or the bug net!

  * Minish Cap; you can use the Cane of Pacci on nearly everything, including Vaati! Just imagine for a moment what that must look like from an in-game perspective. Throughout the entire final fight, Vaati keeps getting flipped upside-down by this kid who’s probably trying not to break down laughing in the middle of fighting. Player is laughing themselves to tears and is likely the reason Link is having a hard time keeping it together.

Every time you activate a warp marker it explodes for absolutely no reason!

Using the gust jar on a Stalfos will yank its skull off, leaving it to wander around blindly. Even funnier is if there are any pots nearby it’ll try to use that as a replacement, which naturally goes about as well as you’d expect.

  * Hitting the Sheikah Stones in Skyward Sword, Majora’s Mask, and Ocarina of Time all have some comical effects, most commonly being rocketing up and then crashing back down like a badly piloted toy helicopter!

  * Tri Force Heroes; the utter chaos that frequently occurs during co-op. I need not say more.

----------

I won't lie to you, pixie, this post was one hell of a rollacoaster to read but being the daredevil I am I enjoyed every second of it.

I can only begin to imagine half the stuff Guide! Player had probably coaxed the boys into. Some instances leading in happiness, some in confusion and others with said hero with a few or more scraps or possibly being chased. They're a menace, they know it, and they have to use that opportunity to bully those boys (and try and bring smiles to their faces during their darkest hour.)

[rebelrayne]

Youcef was never into Najuma: a persuasive essay

Here to explain why I think Youcef was a big ass player, he was never into Najuma and only thought of Najuma as his ticket to win the season. Under the cut because it really is an essay. This is all mostly on assumption you are coupled with a male LI for most of the season up until 41. @mingkittish HERE'S MY HOMEWORK.

no but really this is more a reflection on youcef than it is najuma. I honestly, truly think youcef is a player.

Obviously he lays it on very thick on the hot tub date but we so easily forget one thing: Bruno and Youcef didn’t pick which girls were going on the date; the public picked who would be going. So already, Youcef knows these are the two fan fave girls. If he hooks one of them, he’s set. But why Najuma and not MC?

Great question. MC has two men interested in her already. She has James and she has Bruno, who is on the date with Youcef. Now sure, Youcef is totally fine with a little competition but he wants to win the game so why go the route of competing for MC’s attention when he knows Najuma is in a rocky couple and it’s already one-sided? Not to mention Najuma falls for his smooth lines straight away and is completely dumbfounded when he speaks. It’s a no brainer. He’ll go for her, he’ll charm the hell out of her and she’ll be fawning over him.

But yes, there is also the fact that MC can tell Youcef, “Why don’t you pick me?” And Youcef has the opportunity to switch, he could definitely go for MC right then and there because it would be apparent she likes him, but he doesn’t go for her. This does not mean he likes Najuma though. Remember how he likes some competition? Hazeem is standing right there. Do you think he’s giving up the opportunity to best another man? No. No way. Also, Najuma is already practically drooling over Youcef. He’s there to win. And remember, MC might be switching at this recoupling: does he want to go safe route and try to get Najuma on his side? Or does he want to play the tough game and try to keep MC? Remember he is trying to win here.

So then let’s remember that the group meal happens. You can choose to give him a massage, or choose not to. Obviously if you choose to, the next day at kiss or miss makes sense but even if you don’t do the massage, the man kisses MC first. Now yes, I know, the other LIs don’t kiss their partner first if coupled with MC (Bruno kisses Angie) and obviously that’s lazy writing but the narrator says the boys play it safe at first and kiss their own partners. But... Youcef didn’t? Nope. That man kissed MC. Know why? Yep, you guessed it, he isn’t really that into Najuma. He’s into MC. If you did the massage, he might be seeing that physical compatibility (see what I did there?) but if you didn’t, the man just likes her. It’s obvious there. Then Najuma pitched a fit that no one has come to kiss her so he does. He only does it because she says something about no one kissing her to MC. He’s got to keep up with what he’s showing so he kisses her but again, Najuma girl, he’s just not that into you.

Okay but then Juliet and Valentina come in. Juliet picks him for a date and obviously, he’s excited. Yeah, no kidding. He’s not really into Najuma, guys. He’s established now, she’s just his fall back plan and he knows guys outnumber girls. He knows he’s safe. It’s Najuma who needs to worry, not him. And he chats up Valentina. The man is not worried. Do you think he even cared that Najuma told him not to pick her? He probably shrugged it off and said, “Fine by me.” If you’re with Najuma at that point, then he’s excited because he’s single (obviously) but further solidifies that he’s not that interested in her honestly.

Guess what happens next? Tom comes in. Tom is clearly into MC, even if he doesn’t go on a date with her. And guess who Youcef hates? TOM. Gosh I wonder why??? He’s not even after Najuma! Why hate Tom? Oh, that’s right: HES INTO MC AND NOT NAJUMA. He's constantly rolling his eyes at everything Tom does, everything he says. Tom is an endgame LI and he's just canon into MC always, no matter what. Arguably, he is the most smitten by her because he says 'I love you first' and hey, remember, Youcef doesn't mind competition but how do you think he likes another man coming in that also likes MC? I mean, fine, he's there to win so he gets over it.

Oh but let's talk zipper scene, folks. OMG. If you're coupled with Bruno, Youcef is the LI who shows up at the zipper scene. He finally starts to show that he's actually a pretty sweet guy and he loves his mom. We start to see his vulnerability and we have the option to ask him what type of women he likes. He side eyes MC, clearly interested in why she's asking but also responds in a way that lets her know: I might be interested in you, too. In the compliment off, he does have unique dialogue. If you notice, the woman he describes he likes? Well, he describes MC the exact same way.

Kiss or Miss 23: "I like someone who lets her personality shine through. Someone who knows who she is and isn't afraid to show it, who has brains and courage. Bold in fashion, bold in life, smart in chat. That's what gets me going."

Compliment Off 24: "MC, I think you're very perceptive and smart, but you don't use it to make others feel inferior. And I appreciate that you're honest. You're always up for a good time, but you know when to stop. Basically, you're a classy lady and I respect you."

Tell me that doesn't sound like the woman he describes he likes. It does.

Okay so disaster recouple. Anyone want to discuss how Youcef picked Najuma (because you know, he had so many choices) and then the man literally pushes her away when she tries to make out with him the next day? Yeah. NOT INTO HER. If he was, don't you think he'd have reciprocated that???

We skip all the way to episode 30 now because Youcef is kind of MIA during this time after the disaster recouple. Poor guy ends up with Najuma again when clearly he doesn't even want to kiss her. He asks Juliet for advice to which Najuma asks why "they" would need it. Girl, he didn't want to KISS YOU???? At this point, it's clear that he's questioning himself and knows, hey I need some help sorting this out. This is the turning point. This is when he realizes: It's been MC all along, it really, really has been. Especially if you say, "It's because he's so handsome!" Because, NOTICE ME SENPAI.

ANYWAY. The next day is the talent show and if you walk into the kitchen sexily (I literally hate how Fusebox uses this word sm), he stops and stares at MC. He also goes outside and meets her and Tom/Bruno/James on the loungers. Yeah, cause he likes her and he's trying to feel it. He's following her around! Not following Najuma now, is he? Nope. Hasn't been with her all day. He don't her, y'all.

The next recouple is a boys one and that night, yep, it's the fight. Stay on his side, his mouth twitches into a small smile. He doesn't want to fight about Najuma, he doesn't want to be with her. In fact, he doesn't even like her in the slightest even as a friend. He could have just walked away but instead, he continuously tells her it's fine, they're fine and he just wants to talk in private. It's not that concerning to him at all.

In conclusion, he does not couple with her. Because why the hell would he? He didn't like her that much to begin with, the girl he actually likes is already happy with someone else but whatever, he'll leave Najuma single and pick whoever else is available just to not deal with her. Did you ever notice that he only chooses her at one of the three boy recouples? ONE. He never picks her otherwise. She's always the one picking him. He picks other women because lol, you guessed it, HE ISN'T INTO HER.

I think I've proven my point. This late in the game, he wants to be with MC. He has liked her the entire time but I think he's realized one thing: what you want isn't always the same as what you need.

[lifewithdavefarts]

DaveFarts - Episode 11 “VoiceFarting” [Episode List] Tim and Adam are hanging out on... Liscord, playing some stuff together, waiting for Dave to join them for a game. When Adam unexpectedly has to leave however, Dave decides to do some… microphone testing.

VoiceFarting

“I’m going in as a mage ‘cause you fuckers can’t cast for shit” I heard Adam say right into my ears.

This was one of our usual game nights. We’d voice chat on Liscord on our own server and all that stuff. Adam was being, for the lack of a better term, kind of bitchy, ‘cause he thinks as himself as the most skilled gamer around even though we’re always reviving his ass. In the end it’s all in good fun of course, but we’d all happily mute him during a match if we could.

“Yes, Adam. Have fun with the ‘easy mode’ character.” I said, deliberately baiting him.

“Listen here you little shit” he immediately blurted “I can accept that you’re gay but I’m not going to accept the fact that you’re a scrub.” he said, obviously joking, though he did take skills seriously during a match.

“Yeah yeah but I’m the one using the axe, fighting enemies face-to-face like a man.” I kept teasing him. “How’s going up there? Still casting light arrows from your safe space?” I cackled.

“Excuse me???” his icon lighting up, the audio clipping “Why don’t we check your stats instead? Too afraid of looking like the scrub you are??? I literally made no mistakes last time.”

“Of course you didn’t: the chance of making mistakes is like 0% when you stand still and far from the battle.”

There was a moment of silence, then I heard Adam’s breath into the mic “You know I know where you live, right?”

I laughed but before I could continue this very deep and mature battle of wits, we both heard the sound notifying us that our bud Dave joined the voice chat. Now, whenever Dave joins, we usually hear every sound except for his voice, so we were ready to have our ears busted because of the noi-

“Hey noobs!” Dave greeted us, with a voice that was instead crystal clear.

“What the hell” both me and Adam said, our avatars lighting up at the same time.

“I see you noticed that you can now hear my beautiful voice perfectly.” he bragged, and rightfully so.

Normally we could hear his PC’s fans, what was going on down the street, cars passing by, atoms crashing into each others… farts. But now it was just Dave with his now-soothing voice calling us names.

“Are you finished?” Adam said.

But there was no response from Dave.

“Did he finally die?” Adam continued.

I heard a faint sigh of relief from Dave and then he went “Yeah, now I’m finished.”

I kind of suspected what happened but I didn’t say a word.

“Wait. You didn’t hear a thing?” Dave asked, puzzled.

Both me and Adam shrugged as if he could see us, but then said that no, we didn’t.

My detective skills told me that my gassy straight bud ripped one of his classic loud farts, but the new microphone had that “background noise reduction” feature (which my friend seriously needed) so it didn’t register his ass-blast as the old one usually did, so much so that Dave’s frequent farts would eventually turn into white noise for the rest of us. But now, his new headset was actually worth the price and all we could hear was indeed his voice.

“Can we just get into the game befo-“ Adam blurted, but was cut off mid-sentence by a loud, ear-piercing sound coming from Dave, though that wasn’t him speaking or screaming.

My fartbro really didn’t want us to miss what his ass is capable of, so we were both startled by a powerful, audio-clipping fart that completely overwhelmed our voice begging him to stop. And he did stop, but only after like 12 seconds. The rip was followed by the sound of Dave re-adjusting his microphone and laughing. “Hopefully you heard that now.” he chuckled.

I did hear it. I was very familiar with it. Truth is that Dave farting during our game sessions wasn’t anything new however. Even I was used to it, though that did pitch a tent in my shorts. I started wondering whether Dave was in jeans, shorts or boxers. Probably the latter, and shirtless, given that it was a warm evening. I tried to not to let my usual simp-ness over my bro take over me but apparently it was already too late, as I didn’t even notice Adam begin pissed off about an unwanted phone call.

“I’m sorry guys, I gotta take this one.” he said, annoyed. “Do not wait for me. Cya tomorrow I guess.”

And logged off, another sound notifying us that he went into the terrible real world realm.

“Alone at last, bro.” Dave said, in a flirty tone, just as Adam left.

I laughed and mindlessly switched to a different, this time single-player game as we needed at least 3 guys to play, one of those brutal action games that I suck at but I have to beat.

Dave did the same, with a similar game, and we both started gaming on our own but keeping each other company, like we usually do, occasionally exchanging opinions on what we were playing and so on.

“It’s probably his ex-girlfriend” Dave said.

“Yeah. I figured.” I simply answered.

Adam wasn’t really talkative about his personal stuff like me or even Dave, so neither us really knew what was going on. But if our bud didn’t want us to know, not fully know at least, then we respect this decision.

After a couple of more minutes of silence, I heard some sounds coming from Dave. Not a fart, this time though.

“Did you say something?” I asked.

I heard some muffled noises and then Dave’s voice, lower than usual though “I’m just messing with the settings here. I feel like sometimes the volume gets messed up.” and he was right.

“Yeah the audio is kind of low now.” I warned him.

I heard some more noises (keyboard tapping, mouse clicking, etc.) and then I heard him speak again.

Or, to be more precise, he did make a sound with his mouth, though those weren’t words; a loud belch, actually, right into my ears. Dave was more of a farter, but he wasn’t new to wild, incredible burps. I honestly prefer the more disgusting butt explosion, but I still tip my hat at my bro being a masterful air-bender from both ends.

“Yes, I did hear that.” I said, anticipating his question.

He laughed. “Thank you.” he answered, belching both word with care.

A couples of minutes of silence followed, with just me and Dave occasionally chatting but overall trying to be focused on our respective games. My straight bro was however not done with the “testing”.

“Are you hearing this bro?” he suddenly asked, trying not to laugh.

“No…?” I was puzzled.

“Wait. Let me just…”

I heard Dave removing his headset and as it got farther away from his head, a familiar sound got louder and louder instead, until it became unbearable.

“Are you hearing this now?” he shouted, though I could heard him over that sound.

The sound of yet another loud blast of gas, so loud it was glitching the audio. It was long and proud, dry as some of his best rips, and it just wouldn’t stop. The boss I was fighting somehow felt how distracted I was and one-shotted me with a swipe of his flaming sword but I couldn’t even hear any in-game sound ‘cause my straight gassy bro was basically farting right into my ears, albeit indirectly.

I instinctively reached for the pitched tent between my legs as the fart kept going strong and loud, so loud in fact that I had to lower the volume ‘cause my hears were starting to hurt.

After a grand total of 18 seconds, I once again heard Dave putting his headphones back on his head, wondering whether they were radioactive or melting at this point, due to all that poisonous gas.

“I gotta say… the sound quality is pretty spot-on. What headset are you using?” I joked.

Dave chuckled. “The same as yours actually. Thanks for the advice.”

We kept chatting a bit more as if he wasn’t a gassy teasing bastard but since he *is* a gassy teasing bastard I once again heard him, with no warning nor request from me, removing his headphones again and putting them (I assume) closer to the source of his underwear-clad ass.

Unsurprisingly, yet another manly, loud rip blasted through my own headphones right into my eardrums, renewing the hard-on I had only moments before. It sounded like a motorcycle passing by and I could only imagine how badly the stench was in Dave’s room. Lasting around 11 seconds, this time it got dangerously wet-ish towards the end, which I found hilarious but also made me rightfully worried about my bro maybe going a bit too far even for both of our standards.

“Dude.” I said, laughing a bit “You might want to go easy. That sounded risky.”

Dave, being the chill guy he is, just laughed about it. “Don’t worry, dude. I’m an expert.” and he ripped a short toot that was so loud I could even hear it without the microphone going straight into his butt this time.

We then kept gaming a bit more on our own. Dying over and over to that same boss made me think about how chill Dave was being -as usual- about my kink. I mean don’t get me wrong he always farted a lot while voice chatting but this time it was different, as he was now aware of my fetish. And, as always, I really appreciated that, just as I appreciated yet another thunderous blast, one that actually startled me, making me lose YET AGAIN.

“FUCK!” I blurted.

As the fart kept going, Dave moved the microphone closer to his face (but I still could hear the fart going) just to laugh at my gaming skills, completely aware however that his farts were a huge distraction on its own. He then planted the microphone once again in front of his butt and the blast went loud and proud.

“It’s just too easy.” he then chuckled, after finishing ripping that monstrous fart.

It was. I had to pause the game for a couple of minutes to calm down, the tent between my legs going harder and harder. Was Dave aware of this part as well? Of course he was, but he didn’t care. It was just a game for him, and he was constantly proving me how much of a pro gamer he was.

I hope he never gets nerfed.

End of Episode 11

[yyuangss-main]

❝chapter fourteen: countdown complete❞

Iwaizumi tapped his foot against the floor, waiting outside of the classroom while other students went around him. You had made the mistake of being on your phone throughout class, forgetting to pack your things up. The ace exhaled, looking uninterested as Oikawa came up.

“Iwa—chan!” He said, “You waited for me!”

“Why would I wait for you?” He raised an eyebrow, head leaning into the door way to see you finally scurrying towards him. “Dumbass. I told you we can’t waste any time!”

“Sheesh calm down. I’m doing my best.” You peacefully said, now turning your attention to the setter. “Hey Oikawa.” The setter gave a smirk.

“Hi (L/N). What are you and Iwa—chan up to that you can’t waste any time?” He put his hands into his pockets, leaning his figure down to make eye contact with you. “Or is it “Talk Shit Five” exclusive?” He did air quotes around the group name.

Iwaizumi’s head nodded to the side, telling you to get a move on. You scrunched your nose, linking your arm with Oikawa’s as the three of you marched down the hallway to get towards the entrance.

You explained you had no idea what was going on, only that Kuroo said he had a surprise for you. Oikawa kept coming up with conclusions, maybe that Kuroo was finally taking you on a date. You mentally facepalmed, remembering you hadn’t told Oikawa about talking to Ushiwaka.

Oikawa parted ways with you two, waving as he rushed down another road. He was going to go see his nephew today. Iwaizumi and you began going to the train station, orders from Kuroo apparently.

“I wish I could go home and change.” You muttered, holding onto Iwaizumi’s arm now.

“No shit.” He looked uninterested. He made the mistake of wearing his school uniform instead of the volleyball’s tracksuit. “Let’s just hope we get there in time.” He said, checking the time on his phone. He started calculating things out loud, barely audible to you.

On the train ride, you two messed around with each other, hoping it would make time go faster.

“How big is this surprise? Are you guys finally going to stop being mean to me?” You lace your hands together, a bright smile on your face that reflected on Iwaizumi’s face as well.

“No, but nice try.” He closed his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat. “If I’m being honest, this was all Kuroo’s idea. I’m only escorting you.” He said.

“Maybe Tanaka will spill if I tell him I’ll put him on with Kiyoko.” You whipped your head to your phone, causing the volleyball player to chuckle.

“What ever happened to being patient?” Iwaizumi kicked his legs out, crossing his left over his right. His neck craned to look behind him. “We’re almost at the station and then we only have to walk a little.”

When the train’s brakes came screeching and fully stopped, people began huddling for the doors to open. One by one, they stepped off the platform. Iwaizumi gripped your hand, hauling you behind him so you wouldn’t get stuck. You patted off your school skirt, eyes scanning to find Kuroo’s head lowered who also wore his school uniform. He was fixated on his phone, snorting at whatever was playing.

“There’s Kuroo.” You pointed. Iwaizumi was already making his way to his friend, hand still holding yours. Kuroo heard the clicking of shoes coming in his direction, lifting his head up at the right moment. His grin formed on his lips, locking his phone.

“About time you made it.” He said. “I thought it would be you guys waiting for me.”

“Someone here took forever to put their things away.” Iwaizumi glared, letting go of your hand. “Do we still have time?”

Kuroo nodded.

“Yeah. We just have to hurry.” Kuroo turned on his heel, heading to leave the station.

“Kuroo!” You dragged out his name. He gave you a ‘what’ in the same tone. “Where are we going?”

“If I tell you then it’s not a surprise anymore.” He stated once you three were walking side by side. “And then, your reaction will be a fake one.”

“So stop whining.” Iwaizumi rubbed his temple, “It’s enough dealing with Oikawa during practice and Kuroo in the chat room.” Kuroo and Iwaizumi started arguing, each insult making your stomach hurt from how hard you were laughing. A little while later, you three met up with Tanaka and Tsukishima.

“Wait, is Suna not coming?” You asked Kuroo. You two were walking in front of Tsukishima, Tanaka, and Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi currently had Tanaka in a headlock. Kuroo raised his eyebrows before dropping them back down.

“Kind of.” Kuroo scratched the back of his neck. “You’ll see.” The roads began to seem familiar, you’d walked down this path a few times. Your eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember where this road took you.

Until the kanji embedded in metal read, Shiratorizawa. You stopped dead in your tracks, the three behind following in pursuit. You glanced at Kuroo. His face had a mischievous smirk, knowing he was up to something.

“What? Backing out now?” Tsukishima bumped your shoulder as he walked around you. Kuroo’s fingers wrapped around your wrist, trying to drag you along but your feet stood planted on the cement.

“(Y/N) come on!” He urged. “It’s nothing bad, I promise!”

“You brought me to Shiratorizawa! Where Wakatoshi goes! You’re probably trying to embarrass me!”

“You’re an embarrassment as much as it is,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes, “No point in doing that.” Your jaw dropped at his words.

“That’s gotta hurt.” Tanaka said, coming up behind you to push you. “We didn’t plan this for two weeks just for you to act like this last minute.” With Tanaka pushing you and Kuroo pulling you, it was enough force to bring you to the gym.

Standing outside of the metal doors, Kuroo slid it open. The sounds of volleyballs being hit, the net jangling after being touched, and small chit chat on the sidelines. You began feeling nervous, heart beating against your chest. The white ‘1’ on a muscular back faced the five of you.

“I don’t think Iranizaki is here yet.” Kuroo stepped on the wooden floor, signaling the rest to join him as well. There were a few girls cheering on for the Shiratorizawa boys currently practicing. “Taichi!” Kuroo whispered loud enough for the boy to hear. Taichi’s head turned to your group.

“Up there.” He pointed to a free spot on the balcony, not before leaving to talk to Ushijima. Tanaka took the lead, rushing to get to the balcony and place his things down. With shaky legs, you followed, praying that Ushijima wouldn’t notice you were here just yet.

Making it on the free spot, Tanaka and Iwaizumi sat down, backs pressed against the wall and relaxing. Tsukishima squated down, rummaging through his bag. Kuroo, gripping the bars holding him from falling, flailed his arms like it was a signal. From the bottom, Semi’s nonchalant eyes shot open when catching Kuroo.

Kuroo sent a thumbs up, the silver haired boy sauntering to Taichi and Ushijima. Kuroo checked to see if you were still standing beside him, kicking Tsukishima who kept trying to untie your shoes.

“Kuroo, switch spots with me.” You tapped the captain on his shoulder. That didn’t grab his attention, focused on something else. This led you to examining what he was looking at. Semi, the third year setter, speaking with Ushijima and pointed towards your direction. Ushijima’s head turned upwards, olive eyes meeting yours.

You could see his rare smile, hand waving to say he knew you were here. In return, you did the same thing. His hand dropped back to his side, smile disappearing and focusing once again on getting done with the warm up.

“You like him.” Kuroo said in sing song voice in your ear.

“Shut up stupid.”

❝You send 17 asterisks to your friends about the guy you’d date before Kuroo Tetsurou. They try and figure out who it is and once they do, all hell breaks loose.❞

TAGLIST IS NOW CLOSED!

Taglist: @kokogxddess @cherryblosom111 @mariachiii @it-me-trash @z-llama @differentballooncollection @solarisjae @simpywara @princessmidas @ohashley101 @anejuuuuoy @toaster-stick @izexftheworld @haikyuufairy @yikerb @ratatostada @irenevyas @just-snog-already @doublekrecs @xsmutbucket @not-today-19 @ushi-please @leinnah @moonlightsof @cutepet09 @vinaios @cloudykarasuno @hartbeat-art @svtbitch @sushijima @kageyamasbabygorl @katherine1920 @animatedrapture @anhphunnnn @kiyoojima @michelepiekenma @a-moon-fairy @moremilkforkags @lollyzen @toobsessedsstuff

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[wonderlustlucas]

jack pot ; part 1 - hwang hyunjin

⇢ prompt You know it’s bad when you’re high as a kite and he’s still on your mind. ⇢ pairing hwang hyunjin x female reader, seo changbin x female reader for like 2 minutes ⇢ word count 7.5k ⇢ genre fluff, angst (not heavy, just in a slow burn kind of way), slight smut ⇢ warnings drug use!!! & lots of it (marijuana), grinding, implied smut ⇢ summary College is a matter of working hard and playing hard. It’s an opportunity to start fresh, to grow as an individual and to blossom with those you befriend. People come and people go, leaving their mark on your life and showing you all the parts of becoming an adult. Some, however, do more than leave their mark. Some take just as much as they give. Things become complicated once they take the entirety of your love because you outright offered it to them.—college!au ; stoner!au ; friends to lovers!au ⇢ a/n yo!!! disclaimer: this initially was going to just be a long one shot but i decided to split it up into 3 parts, so just to let u all know part 1 & 2 does not have a ton of hyunjin interaction, they’re more character/plot building. part 3 is when things will get spicy ♥︎ i hope u enjoy! if u rb make sure to let me know what u thought in the tags mwah also i finally switched from ___ to yn are u guys proud of me :)

prelude.

Sometimes you really, truly, honestly think you could go right ahead and kill Han Jisung.

You say it all the time. Sometimes it’s a simple, “I will literally kill you,” or when you are feeling extra spicy, “Sleep with one eye open tonight.” He, of course, laughs it off like you aren’t vibrating with the urge to kick his kneecaps in. You seriously have lost count of all the times he has brought you to the brink of insanity.

And honestly, you have watched enough murder documentaries on Netflix that you probably could do it, but, you know, spending the rest of your life in prison does not sound that appealing. Plus, there’s the ever-troubling detail that Han Jisung is the closest thing you have to a best friend. So, it sort of goes against your basic human morals to backstab—literally—the most important human in your life.

But he really makes you crazy. Why you agreed to share an apartment with him in the first place is a mystery, but the fact that you leased it again for junior year is what really makes you lose sleep at night. Because, while he may be your best friend, Jisung is the epitome of a little shit. If such a compound word was in the dictionary, it simply would say ‘Han Jisung.’ Somehow, though, it makes you love him even more. Maybe it’s true that ‘opposites attract,’ or, perhaps, maybe it’s because no matter how much embarrassment and general self-loathing he may have caused you in the past, it has benefitted you in the end.

For example, his constant teasing about your lack of friends eventually led to you befriending a group of girls you always admired from afar. His snarky comments concerning your nonexistent social life finally got to you and now you can proudly wear the title of one of the best beer pong players in your class. His presence in general has taught you to stand up for yourself and what you believe in, whether it’s against him, your parents, a toxic friend, hell, even a professor. Proving people wrong, especially Jisung, is your favorite pastime.

Sometimes, though, it’s not that easy.

There’s one area in your life where you have accepted defeat. One area in your life where Jisung has his most fun. One area, or, perhaps one person, where you simply cannot step beyond your comfort zone.

Hwang Hyunjin is your Achilles tendon and Jisung is the arrow. There are times, along with all the times you’ve considered strangling Jisung in his sleep, where you have sat and actually prayed to the gods to send someone else. Someone not nearly as perfect as Hyunjin and someone not nearly as unattainable. Alas, these prayers, hook-ups, Tinder dates, anything to get him off your mind has proved futile; because here you are three years later, stuck with this stupid, absolutely infuriating crush on the only boy who has ever owned your heart because you outright gave it to him.

one.

You are beginning to think the two bubbly junior girls who led the campus tour you attended last year lied about the dining hall.

Correction: they one hundred percent lied.

Because even though the newly renovated food court looks nice—unscratched linoleum floors, shiny marble countertops and all sorts of seating to choose from—there must be something fishy going on with the cooks. Literally. Just last week, an upperclassman had a breakdown when she forked into her tuna (why anyone would want college seafood is another story) to find a worm right there in the middle of it. You have found little shards of glass in the yogurt and bugs even at You-Cook, but that’s all a part of the college experience, right?

“Are you sure there’s no spiders or anything? Did you check?” Beside you, Maddie watches with furrowed brows as you spoon a hefty serving of scrambled eggs onto your plate. Chuckling, you move down to grab a few sausages and a chocolate chip muffin before they are gone for the rest of the day; Lord knows, you are only a month in and carbohydrates have quickly become your emotional support, just like everyone else. “Yes, I checked,” you assure her, hiding a laugh with your hand as she leans over to further scrutinize the eggs, “I didn’t see any arachnids.”

“Good,” she hums, satisfied with your answer, “can you grab a banana muffin for me? They’re usually at the bottom.”

Nodding, you turn back to the blessed muffin basket, pushing away blueberry, corn, double chocolate, all because Maddie has to be different and go for the macadamia nut banana.

“Are those the dinosaur socks they were selling on move-in day?” In front of you, someone asks, and your first instinct is to look down at your feet just to confirm. 8:30 calculus simply turns your brain to mush and remembering how you dressed for the day is near impossible. “Yes!” Laughing, you lift your leg to get a closer look at the cute green t-rexes on skates. “I was sold once I heard they were a dollar.”

Tearing your gaze away from said socks, you look up and suddenly feel as if you have bumped into an angel. Maybe there were spiders in the eggs, deadly poisonous spiders that crawled up the spoon while you weren’t paying attention and bit your hand and now you are dead and this is the angel leading you to the heavens. That, or this simply is the most beautiful human you have ever seen up close and your brain does not know how to process it. Well, maybe that’s a little extreme, but you definitely have never been so starstruck in your life.

The boy in front of you says something but you don’t hear it, senses and thoughts momentarily Off™ as you gawk at him. Aside from the deep undereye bags you all have claimed the past few weeks, this stranger is as close to perfect as you can get. Sure, Seungmin and his roommates are pretty cute—but what the fuck?

Something tells you that you have been silently staring at him, wide-eyed and mouth hanging open for far too long when his brows raise in a mix of confusion and expectation. Shit. What did he say? Synapses suddenly shooting like fireworks in your brain, you desperately try to remember his reply but instead, all you had focused on was the plumpness of his lips as he spoke and not the words themselves.

Clearing your throat, you blink once, twice, hoping you were hallucinating the whole time and the boy in front of you is not Hercules incarnate.

Lucky for you or him, you can’t tell, but he is still as attractive as he was two seconds ago. “Sorry, what?” You blurt, loud, too loud, flinching at the sound of your own voice. Instead of recognizing that you are totally off your rocker, he smiles, a soft, toothy smile that has your muscles turning to goo.

“I said I bought them, too,” cutest-boy-in-the-universe repeats, looking down and you follow his gaze, “my roommates were making fun of me, so I’m glad I finally found someone who bought them.” Alas, as he tugs at the fabric of his jeans to slightly lift the cuff you see that he, too, wears the same socks. You think you’re in love.

“Well, your roommates clearly have no taste,” you deadpan, shakily meeting his eyes once he looks back up. He laughs softly, eyes scrunching at the action and you positively swoon until silence settles over you and he takes the opportunity to regard you, gaze sweeping down your frame and up again. You hold your breath because, 1) holy shit, you would get on your knees for him right now and 2) you suddenly wish you were wearing more than the ‘just-woke-up-to-get-pegged-by-calc’ fit.

“I’m Hyunjin,” he finally says and you release all the air trapped in your lungs. “YN,” you return, grasping his outreached hand and thanking the heavens it is as sweaty as yours. “Well, it was nice to meet you, YN,” Hyunjin proceeds, releasing your hand and offering a gentle smile.

“You too, Mr. Sock Man,” you grin, rocking on your heels and realizing with a pang of disappointment that your breakfast has probably gone cold. Well, that’s okay, because right now you are totally content standing here in the middle of the dining hall, silently staring at this Hyunjin with a stupid smile plastered on your face. And the best part? He apparently is just fine doing that, too.

“YN!” Somewhere behind you, Maddie calls your name and it thrusts you head-first back into reality. “Did you find a banana muffin? I can’t find— oh. Who’s this?” Appearing beside you, visibly shocked having found you in a staring contest with a very tall, very cute boy. “Oh, uh,” you huff out a laugh, scrambling to get yourself together, “Hyunjin, this is Maddie, my roommate. Maddie, this is Hyunjin. We have the same socks.”

Brows shooting up at the puzzling introduction, Maddie bites back a laugh and looks back and forth between you and Hyunjin. “Well, you don’t hear that every day,” smiling to hide her confusion, she offers him a small wave with her hand full of muffin packs, “nice to meet you.”

Hyunjin smiles in return, gaze quickly returning to you. “I’ll be off, then. Gotta get the waffles while they’re still warm. I’ll see you around.”

And before you know it, he’s off toward the other end of the breakfast counter.

“Um, what the fuck?” Maddie whispers excitedly as you make your way toward your usual table, elbow repeatedly jabbing into your side. “I have no idea what just happened. I think I’m dreaming,” you sigh blissfully, relieved to find that Jisung and Seungmin were able to claim your favorite booth. “No, definitely not dreaming. He’s totally into you. You have to hang out.”

“What?” You sputter, nearly tripping over your own two feet. Then, lowering your voice as you near the two boys, “I – no, he isn’t. How can you tell? That was like, the cutest guy I’ve ever talked to, and you think he’s into me?”

“Who’s the cutest guy ever?” Jisung pipes up, eyes lighting up and you curse him and his fucking bat hearing.

“No one,” you grumble, smiling softly at Seungmin when he gets up so you don’t have to sit on the end, leaving Maddie to sit next to the other one. “Is it me?” Jisung grins with a flutter of his eyelashes. He’s convinced the only reason you dislike him is because you’ve actually fallen in love with him, but that’s far from the truth. You don’t even dislike him—he’s just one of the first guys you’ve met who meets your sarcasm with as much ferocity, and that is a hard pill to swallow.

“In your dreams, Han,” you sneer, gracing him with a dramatic eye roll before tearing open the bag of your muffin. Comfortable conversation quickly falls into place as you eat, complaints about your classes, Seungmin trying to convince you to join them at the first party they will be attending while Jisung mocks you for wanting to stay home, Maddie asking where Felix is and Seungmin explaining that he got so high last night he ended up staying up past four playing Overwatch and is currently sleeping past all his classes.

Then, in the midst of guzzling your apple juice, Jisung leans out of his seat to call down the aisle. “Hwang! Come pull a chair over!”

Curiosity peaked, you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and crane your neck to see over Seungmin’s fat head for who this ‘Hwang’ could be until, like the universe is really trying to kill you, the Hyunjin you met not even ten minutes ago has reached your table. “Hey,” he grins brightly, dabbing up the two boys before he glances to you, mouth promptly falling open. Certain you mirror the same expression, you struggle to find your words as Jisung and Seungmin look between you in shared confusion. “First we share socks, now it’s these dumpheads?”

Ignoring the way they scowl, Hyunjin giggles shamelessly and grabs a chair from an adjacent table to sit at the head of your booth. “It would seem that way.”

“Woah, woah, woah. Slow down. You guys know each other?” Jisung scoffs in disbelief, pointedly looking at you as if you’ve gone and disproved everything he pegged of you. “We just met,” Hyunjin replies with a shy smile, sparing you a quick glance before cutting into his waffle. Jisung looks to you and you offer an affirmative nod.

“And how are you guys friends?” Maddie asks, sensing your panic. “He’s Changbin and Minho’s roommate,” Seungmin answers.

You choke on a mouthful of juice.

“Christ, you good?” Seungmin snickers, offering a few slaps to your back. With a muffled yes, you look to Hyunjin with pleading eyes. “Please don’t tell them I said they have no taste.”

He laughs, arching a brow at you. “No way. They’ll get a kick out of that.”

“Oh, Christ,” faking a cry, you bury your face into your palms, “so much for making friends.”

“It’s okay, YN,” Jisung soothes with faux sympathy, “no one wants to be your friend anyway.”

Scoffing, the table quickly falls silent when you look up with rage in your eyes. “I bet when someone asks your parents about you, they change the subject,” you spit, shooting daggers at him before stabbing your fork into an innocent chunk of egg. To your utmost surprise but total delight, the other three burst into a fit of laughter, leaving you smirking smugly and Jisung sulking.

“Anyway,” Maddie promptly changes the subject back to her chemistry professor who has started every class playing Britney Spears. Tucked away in your corner finishing the last of your sausage and stifling the urge to get up for more, it isn’t until Hyunjin begins to speak do you realize that you have been quietly watching him the entire time. You would blame the soft morning sunshine shining through the windows and illuminating the right side of his face for making him look so ethereal, but you know that isn’t the case; from short, messy black hair, silver hoop earrings, thick, defined brows, the soft curves of his nose and the pouty fullness of his lips, you are totally, completely mesmerized.

And then, the sole of a sneaker is slammed right into your shin. “OW!” You yelp, loud, and for a moment you forget the pain in favor of the embarrassment that comes with the number of heads that turn to look at you. “Sorry. Bit my tongue,” you lie, earning an unconvinced look from Maddie. “Go on,” you nod toward Hyunjin to continue whatever he was saying before directing a furious glare to Jisung, who fails to hide his triumphant smirk as he enthusiastically types on his phone.

Just as you have bent down to rub at your throbbing leg, your phone vibrates twice against the table.

han jisung [now] stop staring, ur lucky hwang is as dense as a rock or he would have left a long time ago bc of you

han jisung [now] so THAT’S the ‘cutest guy ever’ huh? so ur straight after all

Squeezing your hands into fists, you prepare to fire back a reply that will have him crying. But he has different plans.

“Oh, Hyunjin, did YN tell you she’s a dancer, too?” He exaggerates your previous mention of dancing and has the audacity to wink at you. Thanks, Mr. Match Maker.

“Really?” Hyunjin gasps excitedly, eyes lighting up and totally missing the flabbergasted what? that sputters from your lips.

“I – well, no,” you hiss, scowling at Jisung, “I used to do ballet when I was younger but that’s it. Why, though? Do you dance?”

“He’s here on a scholarship,” Seungmin explains, “and minors in creative writing.”

“Oh,” you squeak, glancing to Hyunjin who is all but smiling like a cherub, completely oblivious, “that’s amazing. You must have a crazy schedule.” Chewing the last of his waffle, he hums in agreement. “Yeah, it gets really stressful at times. But it’s worth it,” Hyunjin chuckles. Then fucking winks.

Unable to hold his gaze, you whip your head back around in a panic and reach for the mere sip left of your juice. “Speaking of crazy schedules,” he hums, slapping both Jisung and Seungmin on the shoulders, “I must head out. This was fun. I may start crashing the party more now.” Rising from his seat, Hyunjin swings his bag over a shoulder and grins brightly. Realizing it would be rude to not say goodbye, you force yourself to look back to him and offer a feeble wave.

“And YN, don’t bite your tongue when you eat, yeah?”

You’re going to pass out.

two.

Felix likes to think of you as his corrupted child when it comes to smoking weed.

A few weeks before you would all be returning home for winter break, he came knocking on your door with a proposition. “No one wants to smoke with me. Do you want to?”

This, for sure, was not what you were expecting on a cold Tuesday night in December. Despite the general curiosity and always wanting to ‘try it’ simply to feel like a teenager breaking the rules, you told him you never smoked before. “I know,” he said with a smile, “that’s why I’m asking.”

So, you agreed. Reaching for your hand, Felix snuck you out the window and led you halfway across campus to the junior parking lot, giving you ample opportunities to back out when he felt how badly you were shaking. “Whose car is this?” You laughed in disbelief when he unlocked a beaten-up Nissan near the outskirts of the lot.

“Kim Woojin. The junior?” He replied once you settled in the passenger seat next to him. “Oh.” You blinked, confused. “He lets you smoke in his car?”

“He gets me weed, too,” Felix giggled, reaching into the pockets of his sweatshirt and coming out with two tightly wrapped blunts, each about two inches long, “I’ll turn the heat on a little so we don’t freeze but we have to keep the windows open. I’m not going to have you hotbox for your first time.” You had no idea what that meant, but you agreed nonetheless.

With a brief lesson on what to do that truly made no sense until you tried it for yourself, Felix lit the blunt, took a few small hits to get it started, and then passed it to you. Holding it gingerly between your thumb and index finger, you brought the unlit end to your lips and sucked as he instructed ‘like a straw,’ breathing it into your lungs and ignoring the faint taste of smoke. Unsure of when to stop, it wasn’t until your throat felt as if it was on fire did you realize just how much you had inhaled.

“Shit,” you wheezed, coughing and choking and watching with wide eyes at the amount of cloudy white smoke that left your mouth and nostrils. Passing it back to Felix, you scrambled for the cold water bottle he brought along, downing half of it in one go to soothe the burn. “Good?” He asked, blowing out the window and turning back to you with eyes full of concern.

“Yeah,” you huffed, “give me a few, though.”

Humming in agreement, Felix connected his phone to the car’s Bluetooth and began playing what he calls his ‘getting high playlist,’ and before long, you fell in love with the feeling.

When break was over, you were dying to try it again. Felix was more than happy to be of service.

For all of March, it turned into a daily thing.

Now, you try to smoke only once a week for the sake of not dying, or something.

australian felix kjellberg❤️ [now] come hang at 201?

When the text notification pops up in the corner of your laptop screen amid your YouTube binge, your bones jitter with a mix of dread and excitement.

Dread, because that’s Hyunjin’s room. Excitement, because that’s Hyunjin’s room.

Maddie must hear your sigh. “What’s wrong?” She asks from her cozied position in bed, hand deep in a bag of popcorn.

“It’s Felix,” you start, “but he said to go to Hyunjin’s room.”

She blinks, unfazed. “And? I don’t see the problem here.”

“Well, I don’t know,” you count on your fingers, “first, I don’t know how to act around Hyunjin sober. Second, I don’t know how to act around Hyunjin high. Third, I am very touchy when high. Fourth, Hyunjin is always touchy.”

Maddie scoffs. “That’s a pretty lame argument, YN,” she laughs, “isn’t that what you want to happen?”

“Well,” she’s got a point, “yes, but it still makes me nervous. He makes me nervous.” Closing your laptop, you shimmy out of bed and debate changing out of your cotton shorts and tee shirt. Nah. You’ll probably end up going back to Felix’s and sleeping there. You put a sports bra and deodorant on and call it a day.

Maddie finds this hilarious. “You know what should make you nervous? The fact that you’re usually the only girl getting high with, what? Six guys? You know they all want to fuck you.”

“I try not to think about that, actually,” cringing, you try to erase Felix’s voice when he’s high as a kite or Changbin’s arms from your mind, “and you don’t know that. Sometimes Ryujin and Lia are there. Or, you know, you could always come. You don’t have to smoke, just come hang out. I know you want to give Minho a fat smooch.”

Her nose wrinkles in disgust. “I love you, and I appreciate the invite, but I don’t feel like babysitting a bunch of stoners, even if Minho is there.”

Laughing, all you can offer her is a shrug. “I don’t blame you,” grabbing your phone, wallet, and charger, you make your way over to her and bend over to press a goodnight kiss to her forehead, “if you need me, don’t. I’ll probably be dead.”

“Oh Lord,” Maddie cackles, watching you struggle to open the window, “don’t die. I don’t know what I’ll do.”

“I’ll try,” you grin, military saluting once you’ve managed to flop over the ledge. With one last wave, you close the window behind you and thank admissions for giving you a room on the first floor.

[9:34 PM] YN: omw now, gather your forces to help me in :)

Nights in 201 are always interesting. First, their room is on the second floor, so climbing through the window is an experience. Things would be a hell of a lot easier if you could just walk in and out of residence halls as you please, but with the officer at the front desk documenting who comes in and who goes out, there would be a knock at the door at midnight asking you to leave. Second: as Maddie said, 201 means the whole squad is showing up. And when the whole squad shows up, you’re bound to feel a mix of anxiety and desire deep within your bones no matter how hard set you are on Mr. Hwang. And third: you know you’re in for one fucked up night.

[9:42 PM] YN: hereee

Standing awkwardly behind their building, you try and calm the nerves that always come when you know you will be with Hyunjin. Considering how close the two of you have become over the past few months, one would think you would have gotten a grip on those pesky feelings.

Yet again, it’s kind of hard to do that when he looks and acts like that all the time.

When the window slides open, you are expecting Changbin to hang halfway out for you to grab on to with the rest of them holding onto his legs. Instead, a tall, metal ladder of sorts is pushed out until it lands with a thud! at your feet, granting you a perfect staircase into the room.

Well, you certainly don’t see that every day.

Blinking in confusion, you do not know whether to focus on the crowd of boys waving at you from above or this abomination of a stepstool that was practically thrown out a window for you. Accepting the chain of events as just another fever dream of an experience in 201, you shake your head and begin to ascend on shaky legs, graciously taking Jisung’s hand and clinging to both him and Seungmin as they help you into the room. “Thanks,” you huff, giving them both a hug in return to their chivalry. And they dare say it’s dead!

Behind you, Changbin and Hyunjin lift the ladder-stepstool mutation back into the room and it isn’t until they have folded it into a more compact piece and set it against the wall do you speak up.

“Did you… buy a ladder?”

“Yes!” Minho bellows, thrilled by your successful entrance. “Isn’t it great?” After pulling back from a hug, he keeps his hands on your shoulders just to shake you like a bobble-head.

“Yes,” you grunt once he’s released you, head swimming, “a lot easier than hauling both me and Changbin through the window, right?” Looking to said boy, you can’t help but melt into his side when he pulls you close. “No worries,” Changbin beams, rubbing your arm, “at least we have some funny memories now.” When he moves to flop onto his bed, you realize with a shudder that you are alone with Hyunjin.

Well, technically not alone since they are all right there, but alone in the sense that they are not paying attention to you nor him.

“Hey, YN. I missed you,” he singsongs, engulfing you in one of his monster bear hugs. Disregarding the heart palpitations they may cause, Hyunjin’s hugs are truly the best and you wish you would initiate them more if it didn’t seem like such a big deal in that smooth brain of yours. “I missed you, too,” you mutter into his chest, squeezing your arms around him as if to engrave this feeling into your mind forever. “We saw each other, like, five hours ago,” he reminds you, finally pulling back and taking your will to live with him. God, he has no idea.

“And? You’re the only one here who doesn’t make me suicidal,” you lie because, in reality, he actually does. Just in a different way. “Aw,” he coos, large hand squeezing your side and you think you could orgasm on command, “good thing we have tonight, then, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you squeak, finally remembering to breathe when he steps away to sit beside Seungmin on his bed. Suddenly, you are feeling incredibly grateful no one is next to Changbin because, well, 1) he is closer to Felix and 2), you need a distraction.

“Hello, Felix,” you greet the boy sunk deep in a bean bag chair, busy grinding leaves and packing them into the bowl of a bong. “How are you this fine evening, YN?” He asks once you have settled beside Changbin, brows knitting together when the older boy drapes his arm around your waist.

“Good. Tired, though. How ‘bout you?”

“You didn’t have to come if you’re tired! We all know you work your ass off, no one’s gonna judge if you chose to stay home and sleep,” Felix expresses, giving you a look that screams ‘mom.’

“No! I’m not that tired,” you assure him, reaching for his hand and squeezing for extra effect, “you know I wouldn’t miss this. You’ve made me a pothead.”

With a proud smile, he returns to his designated job and begins working on the second, smaller bong. “So,” stretching to set your things on the desk beside Changbin’s bed, you turn to him with a knowing smile, “how’s the album coming?”

“Great!” He beams, eyes lighting up at the topic. “Jisung is a great addition. Did I tell you we started meeting with someone else, too?”

“No, who?”

“He’s a sophomore, Bang Chan?” Somewhere behind you, Felix passes a bong to Jisung for the first hit. “Bang Chan? Holy shit, Binnie,” repeatedly punching his arm to express your excitement, “that’s amazing! I didn’t know he was into music production. Not that I’ve ever talked to him, but.”

“No, I get you,” he hums, giving your side a firm squeeze, “he’s really awesome making beats. I hope we’re successful.” Then, reaching past you, he takes the second bong and a lighter from Felix. When he resituates himself, he’s considerably closer than before. You don’t mind.

“Ladies first?” Changbin offers with a crooked grin, handing them to you. Then, on second thought, he holds onto the lighter to do the honors. “Sure. Thanks,” you laugh, glancing across the room to find everyone arguing over which color to set the lights to as they wait for their high. Bringing the tube to your lips, you offer a miniscule nod to him and then he is setting flame to the bowl. Sucking strong enough to generate bubbles, you unplug the bowl once he stops and breathe in as much as your lungs can handle in one go. Then, once you have exhaled, you quickly finish what’s left in the tube before passing it to Changbin with a pleased smile.

“That was a lot,” he points out once you have handed the bong back to him. “Hey, you’re the one who kept lighting it for thirty seconds. Mother would be proud,” you joke, reciprocating the same service and lighting the bowl until he glares at you beneath his bangs.

The best part about being high is the fact that you are constantly laughing. Things won’t even be that funny, but once someone starts laughing—you’re done for. You laugh so hard it hurts, and then once it’s all over, you realize it wasn’t funny at all. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like a squirrel?” Minho asks Jisung at some point. You absolutely loose it. It quite possibly is the funniest thing you have ever heard.

Pouting, Squirrel Boy leaves Minho alone on his bed to come crash beside you. “How are you, my tender oozing blossom?”

Squinting at him past the way your eyes burn, you make grabby hands and pull him close to wrap your arms around his teeny waist. Changbin grumbles in protest, but he’s too transfixed on the light’s soft in and out fade of different colors to say anything else. “Please, don’t ever call me that again,” you mumble into Jisung’s mop of brown hair.

“What?” He gasps, tilting to look up at you with puppy eyes. “You didn’t like it?”

“Nope,” smiling lazily, you rest your head atop his, “I love you, but I’m not ready for pet names yet.” His face morphs from a frown to one lit with excitement. “Holy shit, did you just say you love me? Do my eyes deceive me?”

“That would be your ‘ears,’ but yes,” you hum, brain simply not capable of denying it the way your sober self would. “More than Changbin?” Jisung whispers.

“Yes, but don’t tell him,” you return quietly, biting back a laugh.

“More than Hyunjin?” He counters. At this, you look up to find said boy sat with his legs to his chest across the room. Next to Seungmin, he looks like a giant; but a happy, pouty giant that keeps talking about how much he could go for a winter melon tea right now.

“Never.”

One and a half (half because it was just the rest of Minho’s terribly big hit that left tears streaming down his cheeks) and an unfinished game of Cards Against Humanity later, you find yourself in a blissful headspace. The song playing quietly through Felix’s speaker makes it feel like you are bouncing down stairs and then going up again, and the lights are oh so pretty, pink fading to red, yellow to green, blue to purple and so on. Things are fuzzy but crystal clear at the same time, the popcorn you’ve been shoveling into your mouth tastes heavenly, and your body feels like it is engulfed in a warm, comforting hug.

Or, that could just be Changbin.

Somewhere in between trying to get more comfortable and him yanking you to stay next to him when you attempted to get up and hug Seungmin for something sweet he said, you now find yourself on your back with a clinging Changbin on your side. You are so comfortable, but also insanely hot, and as you begin to slowly come down from your high as the hours tick by, you begin to realize it’s for another reason.

What started as an innocent hand on your side turned into his thumb rubbing meaningless patterns against your shirt, which then turned into his hand slipping beneath to splay against the warmth of your skin. Growing increasingly needy as the minutes go by, you turn to look at everyone around you. Jisung, who found himself returning to Minho, appears to be passed out with him on the far end of the room. Seungmin, curled up on the floor with a pillow and a heap of blankets. Felix, who finished off the rest of his weed, scrolls aimlessly on his phone still at the peak of his high.

And Hyunjin, who you assume has been fast asleep on his bed for a while now if the arm flung over his face tells you anything. For a moment, you feel sick with sadness. So close, but so far he lies, always a step out of reach. But you can’t deny how Changbin makes you feel—for right now, at least. And it would be a shame to miss out on an opportunity with someone else because the one you want is unattainable.

Right?

Changbin must sense the way your breathing increases, must feel the way your body reacts to the slightest of touches, yet he takes his time. He is soft in the way his hand travels up your arm, rough fingertips grazing over your collarbones before smoothing down over your chest and abdomen. It isn’t until you are about to burst at the seams does he give your ass a strong squeeze and urge your leg over his hips.

“Changbin,” you sigh, biting your lip to keep from whimpering when he begins pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses down the length of your throat. “Please touch me.”

He only makes a sound of agreement, savoring the way you squirm and grip onto his arm for dear life. When he offers an experimental roll of his hips to grind against you, you practically go feral. The last time you were touched in such a way was at a party in the beginning of the semester Jisung and co. physically forced you to go to, and Changbin has barely even touched you and it’s already better than the rushed sex you had that night.

“Wait,” he huffs, pausing his ministrations no matter how difficult it is to do so, “we can’t.”

“What?” You hiss, trying to keep your voice quiet, “why?”

“Because you’re high, and I’m high, and I’m not going to do anything unless you really want me to,” Changbin explains, pressing a gentle kiss to your lips when you frown in response. “But I do want you to,” you huff, chasing his mouth for another, “I trust you one hundred percent.”

“Are you sure, YN?” What about Hyunjin? is what he really means and you know he’s right. You should have never told Felix.

Trying to ignore the wetness of your underwear, you turn to lie on your back. “Whatever. Never mind,” you mumble, and when you glance back to him, you can’t help the way your heart soars with him still pressed closely to your side, blinking tiredly at you. But like he said, it’s not Hyunjin. “Just get some sleep, Binnie. Forget it happened,” smiling past the tears that threaten to spill, you ruffle his hair and press a softer kiss to his forehead.

“I’m sorry,” Changbin whispers, returning the affection with a kiss to your shoulder. In minutes, he is snoring softly beside you.

You can’t fall asleep to save your life.

Reaching for your phone to check the time, you grit your teeth once you realize it’s almost four and you definitely have been staring at the ceiling for more than an hour. For starters, you are freezing now; unlike these passed out hooligans, you are showing a lot more skin and not being under the blankets is not doing you well. And secondly, it’s hard to fall asleep when your thoughts are flying miles a minute.

Is this how it’s going to be, then? Whenever you see someone, will the little guy on your shoulder whisper in your ear that it’s not Hyunjin? Or will people deem you off limits because they know of your infatuation? People who know, at least—Changbin is the first, apparently.

Just need to get comfy, you decide, trying to ignore such thoughts and turning to lie on your stomach. Bless Felix for leaving the lights on, too—you may be coming down from your high, but the vibe is simply immaculate. Tucking a hand under your cheek and following the ropes of light on the ceiling and up the walls, you find this to be enough to calm your nerves. Enough to make your eyelids heavy. Finally.

Someone lets out a monster train snore. Seungmin, you think, biting your lip to keep from laughing. Or, it could be Hyunjin. The thought is so amusing you can’t help but squint at the boy across from you to better see his outline, hoping he will do it again just to confirm.

No, not Hyunjin.

Because he’s facing you, eyes open, a soft smile plastered on his face. Well, fuck.

No reason to panic, you console yourself, returning a gentle smile in the assumption he can even see you. And you stay like that for a while, simply watching one another for an infinite amount of time. It’s not much, but it means something, you think, lost in the way the contours and highlights of his face change with each color the lights fade to. Just as you remember the whole point of getting on your stomach was to fall asleep, Hyunjin moves. Reaching for his phone, you watch in confusion as he brings it close to his face and starts typing.

hwang hyunjin👁👄👁 [now] Come sleep w me?

You almost throw up in your mouth. You must be dreaming. Surely.

Blinking against the harsh light of your phone, you cannot help your smile as you reread the text.

[4:02 am] YN: wont that b a little sus for bin

[4:02 am] hwang hyunjin👁👄👁: If anyone asks just say he kept kicking u or something

You don’t need to be told twice. Now that he has turned onto his side facing the other direction, Changbin does not stir once you slowly move to sit up and stand, nor when you reach for the quilt crumbled at the foot of the bed to pull over him. It’s not much, but hopefully it will keep him from waking in a few hours freezing to death. Then, as you tiptoe your way over to Hyunjin’s bed, avoiding Felix now that he’s sprawled half way off the bean bag, you cannot tell if you are still shivering from the cold or if the fact you are going to be sleepingwith Hyunjin in one, tiny single bed is finally clicking in your brain. Like Maddie said, this is something you want, right?

As you draw closer, Hyunjin shifts to make room and lifts the covers for you to quietly slip beneath. “Thank you,” you whisper, pulling the blanket up to your chin and trying to ignore the feeling of being so close to him. “Of course. You looked real cold over there,” he smiles tiredly. Then, his arm cautiously curls around you to rest by your head, fingers swiping stray hairs away from your face.

“I was,” you admit. Eyes level to his lips, you strain to look him in the eyes to resist the temptation now that he’s pulled you so close. “Changbin fell asleep and I felt bad waking him.”

Hyunjin doesn’t reply. He seems momentarily lost in thought, brows slightly furrowed as he chews on the inside of his lip.

“Do you like him?” He finally asks, voice shaky with hesitation.

“What?” You sputter, shocked at such a presumption. Yet again…

“No, no I don’t. I mean—as a friend, yes, but, you know,” you trail off, squeezing your eyes shut. You desperately wish you were not having this conversation right now. “He was touching you, though. And it looked like you liked it,” Hyunjin whispers, thumb swiping against your cheekbone.

“I mean, well yeah, I did. But I’m not close enough to like him like that. It’s just a physical attraction,” realizing you are discussing what went down with Changbin to Hyunjin, you suddenly pull back and lean up on an elbow to get a better look at him, heat now spreading up your limbs like fire. “Were you watching us, Hwang?”

“Yes,” he admits, “it’s kind of hard not to.” Your heart stops beating.

“I – what?” You manage once you have remembered how to breathe. “I didn’t know you were awake, we wouldn’t have… what do you mean, ‘it’s kind of hard not to?’”

“You know what I mean, YN,” Hyunjin mutters, arm slipping around your waist and pulling you to lie down with him again, this time, your chest pressed to his. “I like looking at you. You’re very pretty.”

You definitely must still be high, because you are seriously having a hard time wrapping your mind around Hyunjin calling you pretty, as well as being so close, and somewhere deep in your mind wonders if he knows. If he knows how your heart is on the line here. Knows that with him moving closer, you are taking a huge risk.

When Hyunjin kisses you, you forget that this could be the worst mistake you’ve made in a long time. Wrapped around his fingers, you pray this is his way of saying he feels the same.

“YN!” You wake to Seungmin gently shaking your shoulder. “YN, wake up. Your phone has been vibrating for twenty minutes now. It’s Maddie.”

The wave of panic washing over you dispels the grogginess you feel from suddenly being yanked from sleep, as well as the recognition of where you are and who you’re with. Frantic, you sit up and nod in thanks to him before taking the call. “Hello?”

“Oh, thank God you answered,” Maddie cries, voice choked, “I’m sorry, I know you’re still out, but I just threw up and I feel so terrible and when I get up I feel so nauseous. Can you come home?”

“Shit, Maddie, don’t apologize,” you whisper, rushing to grab your things as Seungmin unfolds The Ladder as quietly as possible, “I’m leaving now. Don’t move, you don’t want it to get worse. I’ll be there as fast as I can, okay?”

“Okay,” she whimpers before hanging up.

“Thank you, Minnie,” pressing a kiss to his cheek, you begin to climb down. “Is everything okay?” He asks, watching as you go with a worried frown. “Yes, it’s fine. Just a little emergency, don’t worry,” praying no one is out and about watching as you climb from the back of their building, you rush back to help Maddie as fast as you can.

You stay back in your dorm with Maddie for the rest of the weekend, fetching her water and ginger ale and food she can handle, helping her to the restroom, and binging all sorts of shows and movies with her. Seungmin, Jisung, and Minho visit Sunday evening, joining you for a few hours to watch Pokémon. You think it’s just because Minho knew it would be a good opportunity to snuggle with Maddie.

You can’t help but feel disappointed when Hyunjin isn’t with them. You refrained from telling Maddie what happened in 201, too caught up wanting to make sure she was alright, and by now you are starting to feel as if it wasn’t even real. Maybe you made the whole night up in your marijuana-infused brain. And snuggled up with Jisung, you can’t help but wish it was this annoying shit you were falling in love with.

On Monday morning, Hyunjin doesn’t show up for breakfast. On Tuesday, you find out he has been hanging out with a girl he met at his favorite boba joint and apparently won’t shut up about. First, you run back to your dorm to cry to Maddie, having to explain all of Friday night to her. When she leaves for her lab, you call Felix for an emergency smoke session. When Maddie texts that she is going to be out late working on a project, you call Changbin to tell him that you really do want him to.

Like you said, it’s just a physical attraction, right?

⇢ part 2

[ohsnapcracklepopfriends]

Here it is friends. Part one of my Taylor-Swift-nostalgia induced carraville fic. I will be writing a short part two but I figured I’d get this up now and it could be read on its own at this point. I haven’t proof read it so please excuse any mistakes but I hope you enjoy!

Jamie undid his tie. It was a plaid tie, blue instead of red to suggest his neutrality. It was a good day or at least it should’ve been. Liverpool beat Everton two to one, he’d had a good show (no one was harassing him on Twitter yet and Gary had made a few mistakes, Jamie thought that qualified a pretty good show), and he had a date at eleven. He should be fucking buzzing but Jamie just feels the idle hum of numbness. Even the five-goal thriller that was their first game of the night hadn’t got his heart pumping like it used to. 

Gary walked in silently, startling Jamie who quickly pulled on a jumper. Not that his state of dress mattered, Gary’s eyes stayed glued to the floor. He walked to the far corner of the dressing room to change out of his suit, as far away from Jamie as possible.  He hadn’t said a word to Jamie all night when the cameras weren’t rolling. It hurt. Especially when Gary was so good at acting like everything was fine when the commercial break ended. He even fooled Jamie a few times.

Kelly knocked on the door, making sure they were both decent, before walking in to say goodnight. Jamie watched as Gary smiled at Kelly, as he laughed with her about something. Jamie used to do that: make Gary laugh. Kelly turns her attentions to Jamie. She compliments him on his interview tonight and asks him where he and Tom are going for their date. 

“It’s quite late,” she comments, “you can’t really be going to dinner.” Jamie give her a fake laugh. 

“I’ve got a reservation and everything Kells. We’re going to that new vegan place. He’s picking me up.” You heard that right: vegan. Because on top of everything, Tom fucking cared about animals and the environment. Jamie wasn’t complaining too much, though. He could suffer through some tofu if it meant not having to go to Gary and his old haunts. 

“Ooh!” Kelly said, “do I get to meet him? Redknapp keeps talking about how lovely he is, I figure I could judge for myself.” Ah, yes, Redders. Running into Redders had been an accident. They managed to bump into him at the golf course the week before. Tom was good at golf, unlike Redders, as much as he tried to be. Tom gave him a few pointers, helping Redders fix his posture for his swings. They ended up playing a whole round together while Jamie played ping-pong with an eight-year-old girl in the clubhouse. Redders hadn’t shut up about how Tom’s wonderfulness and his perfect swing since. Jamie nodded at Kelly. He figured he couldn’t do any more damage. 

The three of them stood in the parking lot waiting for Tom’s car to pull in. He wasn’t late of course, he never is, they just got out earlier than anticipated. Gary had tried to skitter off to his car but Kelly practically dragged him back up on the curb. Gary, despite trying to put on an agreeable face, looked about as miserable as Jamie felt. Jamie thought he was slightly better at hiding it though. 

At 10:59 Tom’s blue Volkswagen pulled in. One minute early. He wore a nice checked shirt with the first few buttons undone. His hair and shirt were miraculously crisp and clean after a full day of work. He looked like a fucking god with his symmetrical face, sharp bone structure, and straight nose. Kelly certainly took note of that. “Our Carra is a lucky man!” She whispered before going over to Tom to introduce herself. Tom shook her hand and complimented her dress which, to be fair, was a very nice floral pattern. 

Tom stuck his hand out for Gary to shake. “Hello Gary, my name’s Tom. It’s nice to meet you.” Gary takes a minute to collect himself and takes Tom’s outstretched hand giving it a firm shake. 

“It’s nice to meet you as well.” It sounds remarkably fake, of course it does, but Tom doesn’t seem to notice. He just turns towards Jamie with a perfect smile. 

“You have such lovely friends, Jamie. It was nice to meet you both.” Jamie wasn’t so sure about that but played along and let Tom walk him to the car. Tom opened Jamie’s door for him before walking around to get in himself. He saw Kelly sling an arm around Gary’s shoulders as they drove away. Jamie took a deep breath and remembered it was all for the best. He reminded himself that this was what he wanted: stability. He didn’t want to fight anymore. The words Gary had said that night still rung in his ears. He was sure his own snarls were not forgotten either. 

It started to rain as they parked but Tom had an umbrella. Gary never had an umbrella. You’d think that living in Manchester he’d learn to at least keep one in his car. Instead, he resorted to sprinting away from the rain as fast as he could trying to avoid the rain, he wasn’t as fast as he used to be. But Tom was prepared, he always was. He held the umbrella for the both of them as they walked around to the front of the restaurant. 

“James, try the torte it’s quite delicious.” Jamie hated being called James. Absolutely hated it. Not when Gary said it though. His stupid manc accent stretched the vowels into velvet. When Gary said it he felt special. Tom’s polished London accent made him feel posh, pretentious, and twatty. James. Ugh. It was like the word torte. It’s a fucking cake, just call it what it is. Jamie took a bite of the torte. It was good if you ignored the aftertaste of soya in the frosting, a little dry, but Jamie nodded his head like it was an orange mcflurry. He let Tom finish the dessert. 

They’re in the car. Tom’s dropping Jamie off at his apartment. Tom must have noticed that Jamie had been quiet and switched the topic to something a little more in his wheelhouse: football. They were talking about England and possible squads for the upcoming international break. Tom started talking about moving Kyle Walker into midfield and Jamie couldn’t take it. 

“That’s bollocks. Where is the one place on the field where we actually have players? Fucking midfield. Gareth’s drowning in defenders but not experienced ones. Playing Walker in midfield fucking undermines Henderson and leaves the young centrebacks overexposed.” Tom laughs for some reason. Jamie doesn’t find it funny.

“Well, you would certainly know.” This is what you want, he reminds himself again. Peace, calm, stability. This is happiness. But, fuck, Jamie missed Gary. He missed the challenge. He missed the little crease between Gary’s eyes. He missed Gary’s squeaky voice when he gets worked up. He missed fighting and bickering with Gary over things that didn’t matter. He missed screaming at Gary and Gary screaming back. He missed the really hot sex they’d have after such screaming matches, making Gary scream in a different, more satisfying way. He missed Gary’s laugh, his smile. It seemed to Jamie that neither of them have smiled much since that day. Jamie thought that smiling didn’t seem worth it if Gary wasn’t smiling back. 

Jamie checked his phone. It was nearing 1 am. He had a handful of messages from Kelly. Jamie didn’t want to read about how great she thought Tom was, he fucking knew that Tom was great. On paper, he was fucking perfect. The perfect boyfriend. The dream guy. Not for Jamie though. He dreamed of an angry, passionate, crazy, wonderful manc. He opened his messages anyways though, figuring Tom would want to hear what Kelly thought about him. 

Jamie. I know you’re on your date but we need to talk. Can you call me? It’s about Gaz. The first one read.

He’s at mine. Really upset. He said not to talk to you so I figure you know what’s going on. That sounded about right. Kelly caring more about Gary’s well being than Gary himself. Gary was too stubborn to care. 

Call me please. The last one read. Fuck. They’d made a mess of things. Not only had they made a mess of themselves, but they’d also dragged the others into it. 

“Can you pull into that park up there?” Jamie asked Tom. He nodded and turned down the radio, waiting for Jamie to say something more. He didn’t though. Not until he got out of the car and puked some partially digested salad in the grass. Tom came over to him and rested his palm on Jamie’s mid back. Gary used to pet his hair, carding his fingers through it, on those mornings after he’d had a little too much to drink. 

Jamie laid on his back in the middle of the parking lot. The rain soaked through his thin shirt in seconds. Tom looked down at him concerned. “I can’t do this, Tom. You’re so lovely. I mean you’re so fucking lovely but I just can’t—”

“I get it, James. You’re still in love with him.” The bastard still looked perfect even drenched with rain. Jamie guessed that he probably looked like a drowned rat. Jamie must have been giving him a confused look because he laughed and explained further. “I saw the way you used to look at him on the tele like he’s the fucking sun. I saw the way you looked at him tonight like being around him was tearing you apart. Besides, I’m pretty sure half the nation knew there was something going on there.” Jamie laughed at that. They had been pretty obvious. And not just Gary, apparently. Apparently, he was just as open of a book. He needed to call Kelly. 

She picked up after three rings. “Hi Carra,” she whispered, “needed to get out of the living room, Gaz’s sleeping on my couch.”

“Is he okay?” Jamie asked, not really wanting to hear the answer. 

“He’s a wreck, Jamie. He misses you.” I miss him too, Jamie didn’t say, so much. 

“Can I come round?” Jamie asked. Kelly said yes so long as Jamie can get Gary the hell out of her living room and gave Carra her address. 

Thankfully, Kelly’s place was nearby, about a mile away. Jamie didn’t know where he got the energy considering he was dead on his feet a few minutes before, but he ran there as fast as he possibly could. His water-filled shoes squished loudly with every step. He got there in seven minutes and was panting heavily when he knocked on the door. Kelly let him in wordlessly. 

Gary was still sleeping on the couch when he walked into the living room. Kelly gave him a nod and walked into the kitchen. Jamie kneeled next to Gary and cupped his cheek with his palm. Jamie hadn’t realized how much he’d missed that simple feeling. Gary’s forehead was still crinkled in his sleep. His eyes were dark like he hadn’t slept much. Jamie hadn’t either. It was hard to sleep alone, without Gary’s comforting weight on his chest. Jamie took Gary’s hand from where it was tucked under his chin and intertwined their fingers. The weight of Gary’s hand in his set relief running through Jamie’s body. Gary started to stir at that. 

“James?” Jamie smiles at that. His stupid name sounds beautiful coming from Gary’s mouth. His eyes weren’t even open yet and Gary already knows it’s him. “What are you doing here?” He opened his eyes slightly but upon seeing Jamie they were wide open. Gary’s eyes were red and bloodshot. Jamie just wanted to yank him into his arms and hug him forever. 

“What are you doing here, you muppet? Bothering Kelly at 2 am?” Jamie said playfully. Gary flushed slightly. “Come on, Gaz. Let’s get you home.” He grabbed Gary’s hand to pull him up. Gary stumbled when he tried to take a step. Carra looked down at the empty beer bottles and figured that was why. He grabbed Gary’s arm and slung it over his shoulder. Gary’s head rested in the crook of Jamie’s neck, his soft breathing tickling at the skin there. 

“Kelly,” Jamie called softly into the kitchen, “we’re leaving.” She came out to stand in the doorway in her fluffy, pink bunny slippers that Jamie had somehow not noticed before. Jamie thought he should get Gary a pair. 

“Set an alarm,” she said, “he wakes up early. Don’t let him bolt.” Jamie figured Gary wouldn’t be racing out of his apartment at 5 am with the hangover he was sure to have but it was still a good idea. Gary was an unpredictable, stubborn bastard at times. Jamie thanked her and helped Gary down to his car. 

It was still pouring when they got out of the building because clearly the gods wanted Gary to either sober up or catch his death. Thankfully, in his upset Gary had forgotten to lock the car meaning Carra didn’t have to fumble around for his keys in the current weather. Except, that Gary wouldn’t get into the car. He sprawled his limbs over the door so Jamie couldn’t push him inside. 

“Gary, if you don’t get your arse in that car, I’m going to leave you out here to drown.” Obviously, he wasn’t serious but he figured that Gary might be drunk enough not to know that. Gary just smiled up fondly at him and stayed put. 

“I love you,” he said, looking like the most radiant, beautiful thing Jamie had ever seen in his life. His hair was a mess, stuck down to his forehead. His cheeks were bright red from a mix of alcohol and the cold. His eyes were still red but god they held all the love in the world. Jamie could see that somehow, after everything, Gary still loved him, truly loved him. After all the things he said, screamed, did, this man--this beautiful man--still loved Jamie every ounce as much as Jamie loved him. It didn’t matter what he should want, he wanted Gary and all of his adorable, infuriating flaws. His recipe to happiness was just that: his own. He didn’t need stability, calm, peace. He needed to feel something. 

Jamie cupped his face for the second time that night. He ran his thumb over Gary’s wet, stubbly cheeks. Jamie couldn’t help himself. He kissed Gary with all of the kisses they’d missed in the past two months. The two months of pain, loneliness, desolation. He kissed Gary with all of the love he had in his cold, wet body and Gary did the same. Gary moved slower than Jamie, less frantically but no less enthusiastically. Gary clutched at his jacket like a vice, unwilling to let go. Jamie moved his hands around Gary’s body. He wanted to make sure that everything was still as he remembered it. And it was. Of course, it was. He had Gary in his arms, it didn’t matter that the rain had picked up. Though, he was sure he’d hear about the soggy interior of Gary’s car in the morning. He pulled away reluctantly for breath and rested his forehead against Gary’s.

[fanfics-with-coffee]

Crybaby memories Ch. 3

Look at me, posting yet another chapter just a week after chapter 2 instead of months, I’m amazed at myself honestly.

Y/n finally returns to Japan after 10 years to finish her last year of the hero course at UA. But what she didn’t realize was that she would have to meet her old childhood friends and face her past, something she had left in Japan. And can Bakugou really make up for the mistake he regrets the most? Or maybe you’d do best to just forget about the explosive blonde.

Genre: Angst and fluff Pairing: Bakugou x reader Words: 4500~ 

Childhood friends AU

Ch.2 <- -> Ch.4

“Hey, Shinsou, that’s cheating!”

“It’s not cheating if it’s a game mechanic.”

The noise level in the dorm’s living room was rising by the second as the group currently playing finished their last lap on Mario Kart. As Sero passed the finish line in second place, he let his head fall back with a groan. Shinsou sat beside him with a satisfied smile, the switch controller comfortably in his hands. Jirou and Hagakure just took their loss with dignity and grace, congratulating Shinsou on his continued win streak.

“That’s pretty amazing. Five games in a row and not a single loss…” Jirou gave an exhausted smile while putting an arm on the backrest of the couch.

Most of the class had come together to play some Mario Kart to de-stress after the past three weeks of hard work and studying. Y/n had joined them, sitting on one of the “non-player” couches that had formed with glee as she watched her classmates play. What had begun as a friendly game of Mario Kart 8 was now a competition to see who could knock Shinsou from the pedestal he had built from his friends' losses. So far, no one had obviously succeeded and she wasn’t about to try. She’d barely played before and with the tension that had been built, it wasn’t exactly prime time to get her hands on a controller. Yet she had so far been the only one there who hadn’t played.

“Don’t you wanna try playing too, y/n?” Tsuyu leaned over the back of the couch y/n sat on, looking at her before looking back to the screen. At that point, a couple of other people also noticed that she had been sitting on the non-player couch since she had arrived. 

“I’m fine, it’s okay! I mean, I wouldn’t want to embarrass Shinsou like that after he’s been winning.” She teased, playfully sending Shinsou a pitiful glance. He just scoffed, sinking further down in his seat.

“You’re very welcome to try.” He knew she was just messing with him but the challenge was serious. A quiet laugh went around the room, making the competition even more enticing. The silence that came after as the party music played idly in the background was even worse, her classmates were waiting for y/n’s reply. She looked at Shinsou and pursed her lips, crossing her arms tightly.

“Hmmgh… Fine. I will try it, as a matter of fact.” She finally got up from her spot and Hagakure moved up from the player couch, the two exchanged seats and controllers. Y/n felt a hand on her shoulder reassuringly yet the invisible girl giggled a little on passing. She did not, in fact, feel reassured when she sat down. Everyone else got ready themselves, y/n praying that she had understood enough of the game to be able to put up somewhat of a fight.

Once the game counted down from 3, the cheering started once again. Some people were still excited to see Shinsou wipe the floor with the competition but a fair share of the other classmates were cheering on literally anyone other than the purple-haired man. And while Jirou had caught up in a second-place lead, y/n was lagging behind at a meekly 7th place and Sero stayed between being 3rd and 4th. It was kinda embarrassing if you thought about it, but y/n was luckily having a good time either way. Despite having to ask quite a few questions, often involving what had just hit her, the rest of the group was as supportive as ever. Mina had even taken to massaging y/n’s shoulders, pumping her up like a coach to their boxing champion in the ring. 

“Come on y/n! You can do this, loose and limber, loose and limber!” 

“Mina, I am in a car! I cannot be loose!”

“Just be limber then!”

In the end, Shinsou just put another win to his long list of victories as everyone groaned and sighed. Well apart from his supporters, like Denki, who just gave him a high five and cheered. Y/n leaned back in her seat, partially defeated but far from surprised. Despite that, she was smiling, putting her controller in her lap and looking towards the commotion besides her. She watched Jirou and Sero prodding at Shinsou, trying to get the secret to his wins out of him while Kaminari was trying to explain it to them despite him having lost to the guy earlier. But leaning a little forward, she saw someone else in the background, doing something in the kitchen that was situated in the corner. 

Bakugou. 

Her eyes followed him for just a moment, watching him get a glass of water. It hit her that he hadn’t been part of the game night at any point during the evening. Last time she had seen him was in class before he had most likely gone and hid in his room again. She pursed her lips, debating if she should call out to him or let him retreat. But she remembered something.

“Y/n you really suck at this, you’re lucky we didn’t bet anything or you’d go home empty handed!” Bakugou heckled the girl sitting besides him, leaning back against the side of his bed with a shit eating grin. The girl on the other hand was leaning forwards, frowning while her elbows were supported on his knees, the controller still gripped in her hands. His TV was situated on a short dresser, the gaming console placed on the ground in front of them.

“C’mon, once more! I was so close that time!” She said, looking back at him with determined eyes. The blonde boy had been winning all evening but y/n never gave up, she wanted to prove him and his bragging wrong. She always did, whenever he tried to outshine her she bit back, turning it into a near never ending competition. He just examined the girl's face, letting his eyes drift across her lips and big eyes. 

“Fine, one more time. But you really gotta learn this time y/n or you’ll fall behind again.”

Maybe, if anyone, Bakugou could knock down the reigning emperor of Mario Kart and free the people from his tyrannical grasp of the racing scene.

Bakugou had already filled his glass with water and drank it too by the time y/n decided to interrupt his evening. He placed the glass in the washing machine and turned around, giving the group of people a look as he’s about to head back up the stairs. But as he does, watching the scene unfold, he makes eye contact with the girl who has been shamelessly staring at him. He froze and suddenly a feeling of dread worked it’s way up his chest, a grin forming on the girls lips.

“Hey Bakugou!” The room went silent as y/n raised her voice to call out to the man on the other side of the dorm. People’s heads turned, confused but intrigued by why she had called out to him. “Come play with us.” She said simply, and yet the smile that was supposed to be innocent felt more malevolent than anything. If you had asked Bakugou.

The room waited for his answer with held breaths, she knew she had put him on the spot. She was enjoying the tough situation she had created but she wouldn’t have done it if she didn’t genuinely think that he might be the one who could win at least one game against Shinsou. He, on the other hand, felt his heart race. Not because she had asked, but because he wasn’t prepared. He had made it clear from when they first even started these game nights that he wasn’t going to take part. He had been baited into it once or twice but he had never made it a regular occurance and never when they asked him to play. He simply had more important things to get done rather than waste his time on shit that wouldn’t get him anywhere in the long run. He wasn’t a kid anymore.

“No.” He replied just as simply as she had asked, causing Shinsou to chuckle and flick through the game menus since he hadn’t believed that Bakugou would play from the beginning. But apparently the rest of the class wasn’t as quick to accept his answer, having caught on to y/n’s intentions.

“Come one, Bakugou! Just this once!” Kirishima was already halfway across the distance between the kitchen and the couch, clearly about to try and drag Bakugou with him. But the explosive blonde wouldn’t have any of it, getting ready to either smack his hands away or literally run back to his dorm room, you could see it in the way he placed his feet and furrowed his brows.

“You really think I’m going to sit here and listen to every idiot down here screaming over a fucking game? Hell no! You all sound like children!” He said loudly, dodging a grip from Kirishima with an easy side step, turning his body to now angrily walk away.

“Doesn’t he usually screm the most though?” Kaminari looked to the rest of the class with a confused face, not minding that Bakugou wouldn’t play. He was happily supporting Shinsou and his victory run ever since declaring himself manager over “team purple”. But everyone else ignored him, knowing they had to come up with something good to make Bakugou stay. Sero thought the quickest.

“We need you to win!” He yelled, climbing up to his knees and leaning over the back of the couch to try and make his voice reach Bakugou before he left. That seemed to make him stop but not turn around. Only his head twitches to the side to hear a little better. Luckily Midoriya followed Sero’s train of thoughts and also spoke up.

“It’s true! We’ve all tried and failed, you know? Shinsou has been crushing us all, you’re probably the only one who can win by now.” He had also stood up, riling up the rest of the class as they called out for somebody to help them. Bakugou thought about it for a second before turning around to look at the group, his arms crossed over his chest as it often was when he was undecided or unwilling. Midoriya looked at y/n who had started this whole thing, grabbing her arm gently but with urgency. She knew that she had to join in and rose from her seat, standing besides the other hero.

“We can’t do it, Bakugou! He’s just too good. I’ve only seen one other player who had been at his level and it’s… you!” She said with emphasis, looking him dead in the eyes. It was so overdramatic it almost hurt but that was kind of the point right now. And apparently it worked, Bakugou sighed and rolled his eyes but let his arms fall to his side. The soft sounds of his steps coming closer made everyone cheer and raise their arms.

“Holy crap, you guys really are losers. It’s just a fucking game. I’ll play once, but only to beat Shinsou and make you guy’s shut the hell up. Once I do, I’m leaving and I expect to not be disrupted ever again for this stupid shit.” He was swearing like a sailor, begrudgingly squeezing in between the couch and the table, grabbing the controller from Jirou who had stood up to switch. She passed by y/n and sat down on one of the empty cushion seats next to the couches, happy to finally get to watch others lose instead of losing.

Y/n hadn’t thought about the fact that Bakugou might sit next to her until he actually sat down in between her and Sero. Her eyes widened just a little and her breath got stuck in her throat when she felt his thigh pressing against hers, pushing her more into the corner as he got comfortable. And when he leaned back, his naked arm brushed roughly against her own before she shuffled into the corner even more. She really shouldn’t have reacted as strongly as she did, it wasn’t exactly weird to sit like this and she was almost just as close with Jirou. Yet the warmth he radiated made her own cheeks heat up if just slightly. She needed to get out of that situation before her embarrassment got any worse.

“Hey does anyone else wanna play, by the way? I’m fine with just watching again.” She stood up, trying to be casual as she held the controller in one hand and looked around to see if someone was about to change place with her. But before anyone could even open their mouth, a hand had already grabbed her arm and was pulling her back down on the couch.

“Oi, don’t you dare force me to play this dumb game and then just fucking leave. You’re playing too, dumbass.” Bakugou was absolutely blaming y/n for having called out to him and wasn’t about to let her get off the hook just because she didn’t want to play anymore. Not that he fully realized what he was doing to her right now, he was more focused on getting this done and over with. 

Y/n gasped as she was pulled back down on the comfy couch, the seat easily catching her. And despite the fact that Bakugou had been a little rough in saying it, people seemed to agree that she should play a little more since she had barely gotten the chance to. So with a “grateful” smile, she settled into her seat once more as Shinsou picked a couple tracks to play and started a cup.

The track appeared on screen, the countdown heard loud and clear in the now quiet room. Bakugou leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees, giving the screen his undivided attention. Y/n did something similar, putting her feet down on the ground as if it would help her keep her balance in game. Sero had relaxed a little, not too worried about winning or losing. Right now it wasn’t a competition against every other player, it was a team battle. 3 vs 1. And he had Bakugou on his side.

The signal went off and the cars sped away on the track, Shinsou taking the lead of the pack. But just as y/n had expected, Bakugou was right behind him. Herself, on the other hand, had missed the shot at the speed boost and was right now battling against the CPU’s who were surrounding her. Sero was at least making some space between him and the clung of people crashing their cars together at the start. 

It didn’t take long before people noticed that Bakugou actually could have a chance at this. Most had been at least a little uncertain about his abilities as a Mario kart racer, they hadn’t seen him play basically anything. But y/n knew that racing games had been his favourite game to play whenever she came over, often blabbering on and on about all the secrets he knew about whatever new or old game he had decided they were going to compete in that day. And after almost every new thing he told her excitedly, he asked “did ya know that? Betcha didn’t.” he had always been so proud. So now when he was faced with a challenge, y/n sitting next to him, he had to prove how right he was and always had been. 

“HEY, who the hell left a banana peel right on the landing ramp?!”

Shinsou snickered at the outburst, obviously amused that his scheme had worked but he had been a lot less casual during this second, going on third lap around the track. He had absolutely been one of the people who had doubted the blondes abilities but as soon as he realized he wasn’t up against any ordinary casual player, he had upped his focus. It did manage to keep him in lead, if just barely. He had once or twice dipped into second place but Bakugou never kept that first place spot for more than a couple seconds. 

“Y/n you don’t need to use all your mushrooms at once, you know?” Mina was still standing behind her friend, watching the match and between being entranced by the fight for the first spot, she kept an eye on her playing. 

“What? Why?!” Y/n exclaimed, unable to even spare a confused look to her.

“You won’t go any faster, save them for when you need them!” She not so eloquently explained, grabbing the back of the couch.

“I won’t?!”

Red eyes darted away from his square of the screen, looking at the girl's corner. The shock of the conversation had pulled him from his focus and forced him to react.

“Have you been using all your fucking mushrooms at once?! Are you dumb or something, space them out!” Bakugou shouted, mildly angered by the loose use of items. 

“Well I didn’t know that!”

“It’s basic Mario Kart knowledge!”

“You’re basic Mario Kart knowledge!” Was the only thing y/n could retort with, a laugh chasing after her sentence as her brain caught up with the obscure nature of the argument. And that seemed to loosen the tension that had built in the room, as much as Bakugou’s face had turned even more sour, she could feel his tensed thighs relax against hers. 

“Wait, where the hell am I?” In her loud discussion about the proper use of mushrooms, she had managed to take a wrong turn and ended up on a road she hadn’t seen before. Shinsou and Bakugou had been liberarily using the shortcuts that the track allowed but to y/n, these were unknown territory and she had gotten stuck in a corner somewhere unknown. She turned and twisted to no avail, the Lakitu floating down to tell her she needed to do a U-turn. To where? She didn’t know. “Uh oh, where the fuck do I go?!”

“Y/n, you're in a shortcut, how’d you even get in there?” Sero noticed her predicament, trying to sound calm as his eyes flickered between his own screen and hers.

“I dunno, suddenly I’m just stuck and this little turtle guy just keeps telling me I’m going the wrong way!” 

“Okay, well calm down. You should just need to turn righ– no wait lef–!” Sero didn’t even get to finish his sentence until Bakugou moved his hand.

“It’s fucking obvious you need to take a right here and then just follow the damn road!” His left hand moved from his own controller, suddenly enveloping y/n’s hands as he placed his thumb over hers, steering her car for her. He didn’t even look at her as he did it, just stared at the screen. Y/n snapped her head to look at his, shocked and embarrassed. Had her mouth not already been open, it would have fallen open once his hand was over hers. 

His thumb gently but adamantly pushed hers in the right direction, all she had to do was hold in the gas button and within seconds she was on track again. And as soon as his hand had moved there, it was gone again. Her hands suddenly felt cold as the cool air hit them. 

What was this? The third time he had touched her hand with his. It wasn’t a big deal, it wasn’t even often that it happened. But why did the feeling keep lingering in her mind every time, her heart raced whenever she thought about it and his face appeared in her head. 

She couldn’t think about it too much before her focus needed to be pulled back to the game. 

“Oh uh, thanks.” Her volume had gone down significantly, she was even unsure if Bakugou could hear her above the music and sounds of the game. She kinda hoped he didn’t, she kinda hoped nobody even noticed what had just happened just to make sure nobody ever brought it up again. 

But somebody did notice. At the end of the second non-player couch Kirishima had seen the whole thing, a wide smile forming on his face as it started to click in his head what may or may not be happening. 

Bakugou had sacrificed just a couple seconds of full speed to help y/n, which he was paying for during the final half of the last lap. People were at the edge of their seats, their eyes glued to the television. Sero was only a couple seconds behind Bakugou and y/n was still fighting for a top 50% ranking. She refused to give up though, no matter how little of a shot she had at even making it top 5. 

Her car crashed through another mystery box. She kept her eyes intently on her item slot, watching as it randomized, praying that she would get something more useful than a banana peel. And there it was, neatly displayed in her corner.

A blue shell.

Her heart skipped a beat, her hands gripping her controller.

“Holy crap…” She whispered to herself but the tone of her voice caught Bakugou’s attention and he looked at what she was reacting to. 

“Throw it, y/n!” 

He didn’t have to tell her twice, she pressed the button and watched as it raced away towards the first place holder. Shinsou had barely realized what was happening until he saw it go just off screen for y/n. The other students were once again in an uproar, the laughter and cheers over the top but the whole scenario had riled them up to an unnecceracy degree.

Bakugou kept his place, making sure that when the shell hit Shinsou he could pass him and take the first place. Sero even took to driving closer to the rim to make sure it didn’t hit him instead. And just as he did, the shell passed by his screen, once again earning a wave of excitement from the crowd. Finally, it came into view on Bakugou’s screen.

And half a second later it hit Shinsou.

“Shit!” 

The finish line was in their viewt at this point. Bakugou swiftly took the first place as Shinsou’s car spun. He only managed to stop spinning on the track in time to see the other male cross the finish line. 

People had stood up to cheer, Kirishima and Midoriya putting their arms over each other's shoulders to jump up and down. Uraraka along with Momo, Jirou and Tsuyu had all raised their arms on the couch, doing the wave while laughing. Mina even hugged y/n from behind, even though she hadn’t even finished the race. Only Kaminari and Shinsou didn’t become overjoyed at the new winner, which wasn’t exactly a surprise. 

Shinsou got an amicable second place and Sero came in third. Y/n was happy she did manage to get 5th place at the end of it. To her, that was basically at least a second place and celebrated it as such. She had been the one to make sure Bakugou could win after all.

“Honestly, I feel like that was kinda cheating, you guys were all ganging up on me.” Shinsou sighed, leaning back on the couch once again but in a much more defeated manner. 

“Well you know, Shinsou…” Sero let a smug smile creep across his face. “It’s not cheating… if it’s a game mechanic.” 

Shinsou looked at him, expressionless for a second as he tried to come up with a reply. But once he realized he couldn’t beat his own words, he just let the win go, joining in on the laughing instead. After all, it was just a game.

“Told ya’ll you guys were just losers! This is why I don’t even play with you extras, I win too easily.” Bakugou was sporting a cocky grin, putting his hands behind his head in a casual manner and leaning back. And while some of the others might just give him a cheeky comment on his ego every once in a while, they decided to let him have it this once. He had been their saviour after all.

“So you’re… not going to stay and play another game?” Y/n asked him, willfully putting on an innocent act to maybe tempt him into playing another game. She gathered her courage and even leaned a little closer to him, her arm pressing against his side since he still had his arms up. She was basically tucked under his arm as he was frozen in place at the contact. But y/n was convincing herself that she was just teasing him, she would do this to any of her classmates… at least she says so herself.

Bakugou looked at her big eyes and pouting lips, a little surprised that she had even asked. He remembered his words in the beginning, saying he was going to leave once he had helped them. But he had to admit, though he was strongly opposed to being wrong, that it had been kind of fun. He loved his racing games and it was nice having everyone cheer him on like that. Plus, he hadn’t had the chance to play Mario Kart 8 as much as he had wanted but he still knew a couple tricks he could show off to the others.

“...Fine. One more time, but you gotta pay attention to what I teach you or else I’m leaving. I’m not about to waste my time if you’re not going to listen.”

“Fine, one more time. But you really gotta learn this time y/n or you’ll fall behind again.”

“Hey, I thought I was her manager!” Mina looked offended, putting one hand on her chest and the other on y/n’s shoulder, pulling her away from Bakugou to make a point. Even Kirishima came up to listen in on the conversation, having totally been ready to help y/n convince Bakugou to play another round. 

“Oh shut up, as if you could beat me in Mario Kart, I’m obviously her best choice as a mana– Wait, what the hell do you mean manager?! Why do any of you even have managers, it’s just a dumb game!” Bakugou had caught himself even just entertaining the thought of being y/n’s manager and got frustrated, waving his hand around. First motioning to y/n and Mina and then Denki and Shinsou who had started talking tactics between each other.

Mina was about to retort but Kirishima stopped her, putting a hand on her shoulder and not so subtly bringing his head closer to hers. He covered his mouth and whispered something to Mina with a smile. She was nodding along all the while both y/n and Bakugou were turned to look at them standing behind the couch. But soon the pinkette smiled and looked to Kirishima, nodding her head. 

“Alright Bakugou, you drive a hard bargain. I’ll step down as y/n’s manager but only if she comes with us to the arcade tomorrow.” She crosses her arms as if it was her final offer in a million dollar deal.

“WHY ARE YOU EVEN OFFERING ME THAT?! I CAN’T MAKE HER COME WITH US– A-AND I DON’T EVEN WANT TO BE HER DAMN MANAGER EITHER!” Bakugou looked like he was about to climb over the back of the couch any second now and strangle her, but she stood her ground.

“The arcade?”– y/n asked, surprised by the invitation– “Well sure, why not! I’ll come. If Bakugou plays another round.”

“I ALREADY FUCKING SAID I WILL, DO NONE OF YOU LISTEN TO ME?!”

[suspiciouslypinkrosegarden]

The Passed Out Princess Chapters 1-2

Pairing: My CMC (Uyu, Dan Byeol) x Suit Saeran

Description: On days 7-9 of Ray’s route, the player is denied food as “Saeran” makes his presence first known. But, what if MC fell very ill under this method of torture due to a medical condition? Sadly, my custom MC, Uyu (full name Dan Byeol), would deal with exactly this dilemma.

Content warning: Descriptions of throwing up, passing out, and meal skipping. Every food related issue mentioned is strictly medical, and based on my own condition.

This was written under the assumption that you have played Ray’s route in full, so route spoilers ahead! This takes place during the very beginning of day 8, and according to the timings and contents of the chat rooms, it would take place before Saeran cuts contact with the RFA and before he installs a camera to monitor MC in her room. It is timed to match closely around to when I’d get sick myself.

My CMC’s condition deals chronic with low blood sugar, meaning she has to eat to keep it up or suffer the consequences as seen here. It is not diabetes related, it is something she is born with as am I and is linked to more complicated matters I left out to keep it simple. Some symptoms include: growing light headed, severe dizziness, nausea, vomiting, and passing out. See all chapters

I wrote this with flexibility for whichever HC for Saeran you follow (DID or BPD), because whether or not he has one of the following, Rika has drilled it in his head that Ray and Saeran are separate entities, and Saeran views it this way. Consider it written the way Cheritz writes him, with nothing exactly too set.

To make things easier for myself, I’m uploading multiple chapters on each post, chapters only separated by lines. Here is 1 and 2

Ping!

The sound of Dan’s phone alerted her to rise and greet the day with a new chat room open.

As the morning sun took its place in the clear blue sky, the little woman sat up in her big bed, bangs sticking out in all directions as her head thumped with a dull pain. Hunger induced pain, she noted, as her stomach felt empty.

Despite the beauty of this early morning, the light pouring through the windows creating a rosy glow which engulfed the princess room; there was no beautiful light shining on the brunette’s new situation, seeming so dreary and dim.

Uyu still found herself wrapped up in this place, whisked away to a castle tucked deep within mountains known as Magenta. Every corner of the building was constructed brick by brick with a beautifully ornate architectural design, but the bright exterior was only a façade. If she was left caged like this for long, what would become of her? Driven to insanity, perhaps she’d attack and claw at the walls which confined her, unable to turn her anger to Saeran, the real victim in all this. The “savior” made it clear she was the true ruling figure who lurked about as the moon rose, the mastermind behind this place’s pain and suffering.

The night before, after being so kindly introduced to “Saeran”, this golden-haired angel confirmed herself to be quite the wicked witch of the west indeed, and it took everything out of Uyu to not call her harsher names to her face.

Mint Eye was hell redecorated to wear the guise of heaven, but pretty gardens and saccharine words could not fool her. Because Dan wore no wool over her eyes, the savior had no intention of allowing her to live long enough to become the new narrator of “The Yellow Wallpaper”; and she had no shoes to click together at the heel to wish her way home with who she came here for originally.

Just as Ray’s suit did, he changed, flipping like a light switch.

Saeran, the name V previously called him by, did succeed in giving her a good fright, his attitude being the least thing she expected to see after Ray’s earlier sobs over the phone.

Uyu was mainly focused on one solid question after their encounter, though. Just what did that “cleansing” entail in full detail? What did this place do to him, to make him weep and beg for a warm hand to hold one minute, only to push back and try to scare her the next?

It was as if he was caught, dragged by the feet somewhere inescapable, a pit damp and dark down under; rising from a shivering grave cold to the touch.

If it weren’t for her position, she wouldn’t have allowed it.

Now more than ever, this room built on the foundation of fantasy and delight felt like a birdcage which barely allowed her to wiggle an arm through its bars. She relied on her song, her sweet words which Ray claimed to tickle at his heart and hold a power over him like no other before. Her goal, of course, was to use this for good, influencing him to learn to appreciate and care for himself like he should. But now, she felt unable to do even that much, not that she’d give up trying.

Saeran wished to dismiss her and her actions entirely, evident from his need to spew the fact that he bestowed upon her the label of being less than a person, his toy. His play thing.

That sick twisting she felt pooling in her gut upon first hearing the term “cleansing” seemed all too in place.

Ray, as sweet as her prince charming was, had a knack for leaving out important details about this museum of wonder. To her best guess, it was done to avoid panic as none of what went on here could be viewed as normal, or ok. He only briefly mentioned things like the “elixir”, such as on the night V arrived to spiral this place’s plans into chaos.

That was the night she could officially mark a great importance in staying, despite the vast network of lies.

Uyu wasn’t entirely stupid, she had an idea of what the elixir might be a while back, but it was still hard to process regardless.

Saeran threatened to give her one of these cleansing ceremonies...and said he could “draw out the maximum pain in the process”, telling her whatever happened to him hurt. A “no duh” moment indeed, but it was confirmation.

Ray suffered, for no reason other than he was too enwrapped in his blooming feelings for her, something that shouldn’t be taken as a negative but was. It displeased the savior that his chains which bound him by the ankles began to jingle with his new yearning to take flight.

She couldn’t allow herself to lie down and give the savior the satisfaction of breaking her, not when she still had so much to do, and not when Saeran and the RFA were at risk.

As the cool night-time air blew around them, feeling its whisper through her long locks of hair, Ray opened up about Mint Eye’s beliefs as a sanctuary for the “weak”, who had no choice but to lock themselves away to avoid further hurt.

He clearly viewed himself as someone in this category. Weak. But Saeran? Saeran shoved and shouted, which felt like a complete opposite to Ray’s whimpers and pleading. He even went as far as to accuse her of manipulation, of treating Ray like a puppet as she watched him dance to the harp she plucked.

Looking past his outburst and itch to watch her squirm, there stood a man seething with hate sparked entirely by twisted lies and his own fears. He gave himself away rather quickly as he attempted to say she messed with “hisna vefeelings” for some “big plan”.

She had to trust that there were boundaries he wouldn’t cross, being so close to her and forceful...and that was where her panic truly lied. But for now, she’d bank on the idea that he just wanted to scare her, staying alert in case he went too far. There were vases around from Ray’s various gifts that could be used as a weapon during the extreme. Unlike her, Saeran had no fighting skills either, but currently she was a bit too ill for those measures.

For once, a room so pink made her feel neither cozy nor at home.

Uyu’s fuzzy morning vision was then attracted to a black blob hanging on the doorknob. With a little eye rub, she made it out to be a dress, and a rather pretty one at that. In the way it was cut, it would expose much of her shoulders and upper back, the top front of it connected to a bow tied around the back of a neck piece with strings of fabric; like an attached choker. She could only assume it was a “gracious gift” bestowed upon her from the man she saw take Ray’s place. Apparently, he has a thing for black.

Her little device chimed again, and then once more, third time giving her the last push of annoyance she needed to reach over and respond to the opened chatroom.

She sighed with relief seeing Seven was the person active online, as she could now pester him with questions about what he was seeing on his end of the fight. They typed away, Uyu expressing concern for both of the hackers as they discussed Ra-Saeran’s new careless and aggressive tactics to snag him a victory.

As time passed, Jumin joined to ask questions as well, mainly circling around the governmental commendation from the Prime Minister to recognize the RFA for their charity work. Uyu stuck to her gut and pushed against the idea of it being a complete positive.

While both V and Seven acted oddly around the idea of the commendation, the RFA was also just a small organization which had only held two parties previous to Rika’s “passing”. The award was too fishy to trust in her judgment, especially now that she understood things going on around here weren’t at all what they had seemed to be.

Mint Eye wasn’t the only organization she was caught in that held its secrets.

After a bit of talking, Jumin agreed that the prime minister’s reasoning had to be figured out before any final decisions could be made. Everyone logged off, Seven returning to the battlefield and Jumin to stitching in his car.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The need for food grew worse.

Uyu showered and changed into the outfit provided…not having much of a choice to do otherwise unless she wanted to rewear old clothing. She felt down and sluggish as she dressed the way her toy maker willed, the dark frills of her attire tickling against her thighs as her step dragged. She was still ok enough to make herself look presentable, even if done at such a pace.

Her hair changed to a solid dark brown color as it took in the shower water, the gold ombré reaching her tips returning upon giving it a blow dry, making sure Saeran would have less to scoff next he saw her. She wasn’t aiming to avoid his crude comments, but instead trying to make herself feel good. Call her smelly all he wants, she knows she isn’t.

Saeran was aiming to play into her insecurities, maybe full well knowing she had so very many of them as he tried to wind her up. The least she could do was confirm his lies to be lies in the ways she knew how, if not for him then for her. She couldn’t allow him to figure out what made her gears stop, whether his words were true or not. This was no game of knife throwing, and she was no target.

11:00 AM crept up on her as she moped around quietly in her dollhouse, waiting for Saeran to come and try to take a good yanking on her marionette strings.

Dan sat upon the bed as the empty-headed feeling and banging in her temple raged, shifting to lay down fully and make herself more comfortable. If she stood for too long, she’d sway and wobble as her vision turned to black, purple and green swirls, momentarily clouding both her sight and mind.

Despite her numerous texts and occasional calls, she still heard nothing from Saeran. Not a peep.

She was growing restless as well as worried for him, and what would become of her as she continued to go unfed.

Her phone buzzed, shifting her attention over to it groggily, eyes half lidded as she wanted to sleep off this sinking feeling. Soon, she’d start to go down like the Titanic as lunch time acted as her iceberg.

Uyu hoped it was her self-proclaimed master, only to let out a grumble seeing that it wasn’t. Instead, it was Zen who had logged on.

She chatted with him, trying her best not to voice her ever-growing discomfort from skipping last night’s dinner as well as that morning’s breakfast, lunch time now creeping just around the corner.

After a quick talk, she’d call Saeran again...as uncomfortable as that conversation would be, it was her only viable option to kill the onslaught of nausea.

As they talked for a while, Yoosung joined the conversation as well….with talk of food; stew he was in the middle of making to be precise. She felt her stomach churn and rumble as the need for rest fell over her like a weighted blanket, being the only escape from the inevitable vomit now building up inside.

She logged off within another couple of seconds as the hot sweat began.

Dan swallowed thickly as her stomach went haywire, guts twisting, coaxing her to run to the toilet and empty out the water she could at least keep herself going on from the bathroom tap.

Leaving her phone on the bed, she rose to her feet best she could, stumbling till she reached the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. There, she fell to her knees, pulling her long hair back and away from her damp face, lifting up the toilet seat before her.

Within a mere moment, she felt the contents claw at the inside of her throat with a burning sensation, attempting to break free. She shuddered as her body suddenly fell in temperature, before allowing whatever her tummy could offer up to slip past her lips, color in her face all too faded away, displaying her illness. Gagging and choking noises echoed throughout the small room as the rather clearish liquid flowed from her mouth, tears from the discomfort blurring her vision as she blinked them away.

She stayed like that by the toilet for a while, throwing up a couple more times before making certain that event was over for the time being. Uyu considered herself extremely lucky that none was able to touch her or end up in her hair, but not nice to say vomiting wasn’t new to her. She knew the tricks.

Oddly, when something like this would happen, it gave her a tiny amount of strength back. It was strangely relieving, although emptying her stomach further. Her tummy was able to untense a tad.

She blew her nose and wiped her eyes before giving it all a flush down.

A fast teeth brush followed before she stumbled over to bed where she had left her phone. She fiddled with the RFA app until she could reach Saeran’s contact profile. Trying not to let the dread of being ignored again wash over her, she dialed up his number, both nervous and praying this time for a response.

After that last fit was over, her condition would move her into another stage, passing out being the only thing to come next without the blood sugar spike she needed.

The ringing went on for what felt like an eternity as she groaned and pressed her face into the pillow.

“Pick up...pick up damn it please pick up…”.

Uyu wished that she had made a bigger fuss over this earlier rather than attempting to swallow it and wait it out. Being distracted by “the savior” and Saeran’s screaming was something she shouldn’t have allowed herself to do in the midst of endangering her own health. What was she thinking? She knew it would reach this point, it always does if left unchecked. She internally cursed herself for not speaking up more assertively.

After another moment, his angry voice finally came through the speaker and she sighed softly with relief. The last she had heard from him was at four in the morning.

“Feeling this lonely and desperate already, hmm? Tch...what makes you think you have the right to contact me over and over again when I’m doing important work unlike you?”

She huffed on the other end, which he paid no mind.

“All you do is fiddle around like a good for nothing. You didn’t seem so happy to chat with me last time we spoke, but now you’re all eager and ready? You’re just itching for another visit aren’t you? Impatient little princess~.”

He let out an airy chuckle, finding her repeated acts of calling him rather amusing.

“Don’t worry. I have play time all planned out for you soon, you pest. I’ll bother you ten times more than you ever bothered me-”

She cut off his angry rambling, mumbling quietly as she spoke.

“Saeran...can you please come here? I’m not well right now and I don’t know how much longer I can keep myself functioning...I already threw up-”

“Speak up, you complainer! Seriously? You want to see me so badly that you’d put on an elaborate show? Princess...you can’t win any sort of sympathy from me by acting like a brat. Ugg, I’m going to hang up now. I’ll be imagining the million ways I can punish you for this later, stupid toy. I’m busy! Too busy for a bug like you to understand! You waste my time-”

“Wait please...please come here...it’s harder for me to explain over the phone. I...mentioned this problem earlier..please…”

And she had, briefly attempting to bring it up as he invaded a chat room between her and Jaehee.

“Begging now?”

He took on a sad tone of childish mockery as he continued.

“Please please please...please come see me... AHAHA! You airhead. I know what your medical records look like, and therefore I know you’re spinning a lie. You’re not to be trusted just as my savior says. There’s nothing there pertaining to some sort of eating issue other than the fact that your weak little body can’t handle milk…‘Uyu’~.”

He teased at her chosen nickname, and while the irony was why it was picked, this was less than fun.

“Now quit whining over an empty stomach when it hasn’t even been a full day! It’s no fun to see you give up so fast!”

Dan tried her best not to slur her speech, the task assigned to speak up being too hard of one to follow.

“Fine...fine don’t believe me. But…..it doesn’t hurt to come anyways. Since you want to see me suffer….or whatever….”

“Or whatever??? Toy, if I come see you right now...you won’t like what you’re going to get. I haven’t an ounce of pity in me to give you if that’s what you’re searching for. I'm not the type to let you rest in my lap as I stroke your hair and tell you it will be alright, and I won’t give in and feed you. Instead, I’ll make sure you never wish to call me again.”

“...ok…”

“Ok? Ok?? Haha! ...ok then. Let’s see how pathetic you’ve become as you beg and plead to me in person, little actor. Playtime is happening earlier today than I had planned. Congratulations! I’m extra pissed.”

Call ended.

She let out a puff of air, dropping her phone down next to her before closing her eyes, not bothering to stand in preparation for his arrival.

Next chapters All chapters

[samwrights]

Two Little Lines

Let’s just keep playing around with the pregnancy/baby theme, shall we? 😂😈 it’s going to be on the fluffier side, however, we are gonna sprinkle in some very mild NSFW. And we got real angsty with Kenma and we’re just gonna make em all real long. Sorry this took me a few days to do!

Kenma;

Let’s be honest, Kenma would be the cautious one that would more so plan for pregnancy.

Life’s going great for Kenma—great job, cushy life, hot wife??? How did he get so lucky?

Cause he’s cute af that’s how

He was finally ready to add another player to the party.

However, life can’t always be perfect and apparently neither can the two of you trying for a baby.

For the last year and a half now, Friday nights were your thing. No streaming, no work, no phone calls. You and Kenma—that’s it. And while he definitely had become very explorative in that time, every negative pregnancy test was wearing his drive down.

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone that Kenma isn’t a fan of going to the doctor, even to check on how his little swimmers are doing. “If it’s not meant to be, we’ll find another way.” But you could tell it was breaking his heart a little bit.

Frisky Friday’s became fragile Friday’s, in which the two of you really just cuddled in bed together, fireplace lit, and talked about hopeful dreams of finally having a child together, until one of you hopefully got in the mood.

Shit, this whole ordeal was even making your marriage rough. Kenma had been so hard on himself lately that he could barely look at you, which caused you to start to feel insecure, causing the both of you to fight.

It’s Friday night. No streaming, no work, and no phone calls. That was how it was supposed to be. But instead, Kenma is naked in bed atop the comforter, playing with his switch.

It’s pissing you off.

“I don’t know what you wanna do anymore, Kenma. Do you even want a family? Do you even want to be with me anymore?”

“Why would you even say that?” It’s Friday night. The two of you are supposed to be hanging out in bed, naked and just being together, not picking fights with each other. But since that seems to be the case, you see Kenma flush with anger.

“Maybe because you’re playing Animal Crossing instead of looking at me??” Your husband sighs before putting his switch on the night stand before taking down the loose knot that his hair typically resides in. He’s anxious. “You’re acting like I’m not upset about this too.”

As you’re talking to him, you cautiously clamber over him, your face filled with raw emotion. And, after being married for the better half of a decade, you can see what he’s feeling. Failure, distress, and pain were only the start of it. “Please, Kenma. One more time, and we’ll start looking at other options.”

Apparently one more time was all it took, according to the three pregnancy tests you’d taken a month later. Seeing those two little lines on one of the tests that your husband had bought in bulk sent your heart into palpitations. You were going to be a mom.

Kenma comes home from work that Friday—you decided to surprise him. “What do you want to do tonight Kenma?”

??? “Honey, it’s Friday. Don’t we usually...” he stops. Either you were giving up on trying, which you two would have discussed, or... “wait, you don’t mean...”

Holding up the positive pregnancy test, you begin to cry. Kenma does too.

“Baby Kozume has joined the party.”

Kuroo;

Only the two of you would get pregnant while having an IUD implant. Literally, that was just your luck. But it was still possible.

Which you had yet to tell Kuroo—at the moment you were thankful the two of you weren’t cohabitating yet because you were able to hide your unbearable morning sickness.

You were at least waiting to see your doctor to have your IUD removed before telling him, mostly out of fear but also because, if he did notice your morning sickness, you could pawn it off as symptoms of the removal.

You hoped that this wouldn’t take too long or as be as painful as it was going in, but then again you were going to be pushing a human out in nearly 8 months.

It’s a Wednesday afternoon; Kuroo has already finished classes for the day while you’re still out at your appointment. He did have a key to your appointment, but it was strange that you weren’t home considering you didn’t have classes.

He wasn’t gonna call you out on it though—Kuroo trusted you. Instead, he opted to just rummaging around your apartment, cleaning up dishes that were left standing in the sink and making lunch for the two of you.

The minute you walked through your door, the smell of his cooking wafted through the air and absolutely did not agree with you or the baby’s sense of smell. “Fuck,” you grit out before bolting to the bathroom to hurl.

??? = Kuroo.

“Babe? You okay?” Your response was more vomiting, which was apparent both by sound and by visual—you hadn’t even closed the door to the bathroom and Kuroo got to witness the scene clear as day.

In comfort, Kuroo rubs your lower back in an attempt to coax the remaining bile from your body. Disturbing, was the only way Kuroo could describe it, considering you rarely ever puked. In the last six years of dating, he’s only seen it once while you drunk.

When the nausea finally passed, Kuroo cleaned your face up with a warm rag before sitting you on his knee while he sat at the edge of the tub. “What’s wrong, baby?”

“That, actually.”

“What?” Kuroo’s a smart guy, however it took him a few minutes to decipher your two word puzzle. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah, I was gonna tell you today, actually. I just had to go get my IUD removed.” For a moment he’s stunned—the IUD was supposed to be nearly foolproof. But nearly is the key word.

“Babe, you’re pregnant! Holy shit, I gotta call Kenma and Bo and tell them they’re gonna be uncles!” 💀💀💀

“Sooo, you’re okay with it...?” After all, there was a reason you had chosen to go with an IUD after your guys’ last pregnancy scare two years ago.

After all, being a freshman in college wasn’t necessarily an ideal time to start a family.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He balks.

“Because we’re college students that still have another year to graduate?” You deadpan as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“And? Now we’re gonna be married college graduates with little baby Kuroo.” M a r r i e d?

“I think you’re getting a little ahead of yourself, Tetsu.”

“What, you don’t wanna marry me?” For a minute, his face contorts with...confusion? Sadness? Anger? A myriad of all the above? “I’ve wanted to marry you since high school.”

“Is this a proposal?”

“The rings been in my gym bag since senior year.”

Akaashi;

Akaashi Keiji, contrary to popular opinion, was a real romantic.

Even as college students, while your focus should be on your studies, Akaashi never slacked on making you feel special and loved. He knew it, you knew it, and your poor neighbors that shared the wall between your bedrooms knew it.

Kinda made it awkward when the two of you would leave for class and you’d meet your neighbors’ eyes in the apartment hallway. But ya know, it is what it is.

Honestly, it’s too challenging not to go at it every day when your boyfriend is the sweetest, most endearing human to walk the planet.

But enough gushing about Akaashi. Four years into your relationship, you had never felt so off in your life. The last three weeks, all you wanted to do was sleep and eat, you couldn’t focus on anything at all. You couldn’t even have sex with Akaashi.

You know, your wonderful partner that you literally boned everyday? Yeah.

It felt like a permanent, three week PMS for a period that never came. Not that that was entirely abnormal for you—intense amounts of stress can throw off your menstrual cycle and stress was certainly no stranger to you.

But no. You knew your body and you knew it well. Something was wrong.

Just in case things went awry, you scheduled a doctor’s appointment with Keiji’s knowledge. After all, it could very well be nothing and there was no point in causing your man to worry.

“Miss, were you aware that you’re nearly six weeks pregnant?” 💀💀💀 obviously not, doc.

Not entirely convinced, whether because you’re a tad dense or because you really just don’t want to believe the doctor, you swing by a local drug store to grab a test. Just in case, like somehow the doctor would be wrong.

Thankfully, you get home before Akaashi is back from work for the evening, giving you the privacy of seeing your results with your own eyes. Even though you literally could go look at the results and notes from your doctors visit, but ya know.

You don’t even know how long you sat on the floor of your shared bathroom, just staring at the two little lines. You didn’t even realize Akaashi came home.

He calls your name, at first not necessarily concerned that the only light in the apartment was peeking from under the bathroom door. But with no answer, he calls out your name again. No answer. “Honey, is it okay if I come in?”

“Y-yeah?” You aren’t really sure how to answer. How the hell was Akaashi going to react? You guys didn’t have time for a kid?? You’re completely zoned out, staring blankly at the bathtub in front of you. Lowkey, you’re freaking out Akaashi.

Even more so when he sees your hand loosely cradling the pregnancy test—judging by your reaction, he knows what the result is. But he can’t think of anything to say, what is there even to say?

He’s not upset, no. Shocked? Obviously. Mad, not at all considering he’s just as much responsible. The “R” word is what triggers him.

Responsible, in the sense that in less than a year, the two of you were going to be parents. It swelled joy within him. While the two of still had yet to speak, Akaashi comes to your side, sliding down the wall to sit beside you before wrapping his arms around you.

“So, are you hoping for a boy or a girl?”