#also am i projecting onto miles a bit here? ABSOLUTELY
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sencity · 1 year ago
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yan! botanist content? i am eating this up, we are so well-fed. but dare i present, yan! botanist x entomologist darling?
hear me out… as a botanist, he does happen to dabble in fieldwork from time to time. prior to meeting you, he’s always gone out alone, but that won’t be necessary anymore, not with you around of course. and, oh, how perfect it is that you too, partake in nature research.
conducting fieldwork with him is so wonderful! he’s so knowledgeable, and surprisingly even a bit in entomology; plants and insects are crucial for their environment and one another, you know. he’s showing you all the beautiful flora, even informing you about their histories and roles in the ecosystem. while you’re studying the insects, he offers to help catch them in jars for you! no matter how many bug bites he gets, it’s all worth it for you. and how his heart swells with absolute love and adoration when you patch him up with bandaids and kisses afterwards.
nothing beats bonding over two people’s passions that co-exist perfectly–– especially when you’re in a grand field, of tall grass and little visibility, miles and miles away from any type of civilization; no one to bother the both of you, no one to take you away from him, just you two.
RAHH this man has awakened something in me…
you don’t understand how i’m tittering in my covers reading ts. my mind FLOODED with ideas bro. just… let me add onto this thought. your mind is WONDROUS.
nightmare fuel: none, unfortunately. except me not proofreading.
sen’s statement(s): link to the rest of my yandere!stinkers, let alone the yandere!botanist because why not?
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it was a given that mother nature had finally answered his prayers; of course his love interest has an adoration towards insects! could life get any better!? insects are essential to plant life and vice versa. it’s the universe telling you that he needs you, and you need him! the two of you will soon flourish under each other’s love, why wouldn’t you become the butterfly to his pistil?
although you’ve forgotten about the times when he’d try to act cool for you or a little uncharacteristically, he surely goes out of his way to assist you on your projects. whether it’s collecting blister beetles in jars for your research despite the seething pain emerging in his palms or leading you into secluded fields to chase butterflies with wings that match the colors of your guys’ eyes, he’ll be there! still, you do tend to question his motives when he asks what a certain flower reminds you of and comes up with some poetic, philosophical answer to impress you. jeez, save it for the yandere!poet…
“is that right? hm, i’d assume that wisteria reminds you of your dreams… or that little starfish you’re so fond of—”
“the ochre sea star! yes, they’re nowhere near as perfect as you, but they’re lovely—oh! or plums and grapes! i love purple!”
there’s the sencha you love, the one who rambles about his simplistic passions and dislikes since he’s easily (dis)pleased. you’re here to listen to them all, even if they’re a little irrational and aimless like stick bugs…
goddamn, he can’t stand stick bugs.
even though he alters his personality to your liking sometimes (and fails horrifically, of course) he sometimes manages to appeal to your interest… by being himself. there was a time when you fixated on fireflies, wanting to study the patterns and language of their little light bulbs or what genetics causes some lightning bugs to not glow. sencha of course ran with this information and wanted to help to his best ability by insisting on you to sit your pretty self on the porch while he fetches a few for your research. you weren’t too fond of the idea of him doing the job for you, also potentially taking the fun out of it, but you allowed it this once…
you were going to go retrieve him since it seemed that he disappeared, but it just took him so long to collect so many. you would think he used the jar method again but decided that that’s not enough to truly get you to believe that he loves you, therefore he attracted fireflies with his bare hands…
…by coating his hands and forearms with sugar water in order to please the ravenous lightning bugs. primary his sticky hands were coated with tiny gleaming lights since he started off catching them with his palms, and it’s only natural for the rest of them to follow in pursuit.
“i uh, made a few friends along the way…?” he would titter unsurely as his arms expressed ethereality. he was referring to the random moths or flies that were also interested in the treacly treat, but that was the last thing you were fixated on since you were ordering him to not move so you could take pictures…
the two of you were truly an inseparable duo, a nature fusion much like leaf bugs or orchid mantises…
while we’re on the subject of orchids, the flower is one the both of you are very fond of, even though the both of you are suffering from a silly case of synesthesia.
when y/n hears the word orchid she sees a fuzzy yellow that resembles a bumble bee ever so faultlessly. she could never forget how he managed to get his hands on a bee orchid just to prove that his field of study compliments yours greatly. his point has only been proven even more when you giddily bring up that “orchid mantises” exist somewhere in the wild…
when sencha reads the word orchid, your honey-imbued lips drip onto his taste buds which awakens his sweet tooth and sends him into a sugar rush. you were a gift from mother nature, handcrafted by the goddess psyche herself. he even grew different species of orchids just because he cares for the flower so much!
normally you would adulate the bed of vibrant orchids and laborious pollinators that sprawled across the fields while pondering about those simple facts, whereas he would adulate you like how the tides adore the sand. it’s very hard to wrap around that the two of you were a match-made in heaven; he was sure to make you his once the fireflies began to coruscate …
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liquorisce · 1 year ago
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it’s been so long since i’ve hung out here. i miss my anonymous friends, i hope u guys are well and thriving!
since this is still my writing blog, i figured i would write here about my writing and what i’m working on, and what i’m not working on.
i recently posted boy next door, which i am actually really in love with, and have completed 75% of, so for the first time ever i have SOME confidence in finishing it. i feel like it is the type of story that is so natural that there will never really be a perfect conclusion. But some meaningfully literary conclusion is plausible, lol, so i will attempt it. i am also really floored by the comments I’ve received. they’ve been really encouraging and kind, and some felt like I was being congratulated by a group of peers who have grown with me and seen changes in my writing style that i thought no one apart from me would ever notice or care about. in that way, fandom is kind of amazing because it feels like we are all in some sort of cohort together, and even in this vast space of chaos I have found some friends, and some kind souls who I can chat with in corridors, who peep in occasionally and see what I’m doing and encourage me positively in a personal manner. I am able to return this to others too. That’s pretty cool.
i had a tough situation with my health, or rather my inability to handle my health problems in an adult manner, but after many weeks of deleting social media apps and forceful grass-touching (extensive physiotherapy), i am trying to visit the online areas of my life again in moderate frequencies, because this is where I get to feel like a writer. I do not get to feel like a writer in my 40h a week IT consultancy job LOL. There are no artists for miles, unfortunately and it feels like I’m going insane sometimes, being around normies. (jk, maybe… not)
people have asked if i’m giving up on idily and i’m really not, the next chapter is just a tricky one, so it’s taking a while. We are now moving into a really plot-heavy part of the story, which is definitely new territory for me as far as my skills are concerned, so I’m doing a lot of writing ideas and staring at unmoving pages etc. It’s fine, I’m not despairing, as long as I’m still in love with the general story we’ll get somewhere. I will post chap 10 after I have written Chap 11 as well I’m thinking, so that I can be a bit more certain of how we’re moving with this story. Either way, expect rewrites and detail revisions bc I’m unreliable.
Darling - which is largely just a personal project that I envision in the shape of Ymir and Historia (and Rod Reiss) - will also resume. The way Darling gets updated is like so: it feels like a fever dream of craziness, all tinted red and then I get desperate and open my gdocs and blurt out some melodramatic shit. It’s an interesting process and maybe I can make it work bc the whole point is that the story is told through the form of “love letters” from an unreliable narrator. It’s fun, and kind of crazy, and I hope I can finish it this year.
as the life of a fic writer is constantly burdened by wips, i decided to try @/ betts’s method of triaging wips. (her writing advice is amazing, gospel). so realistically these are the three stories i will update this year (and hope foolishly to complete): Darling, IDILY & Boy Next Door. If I finish even one, I’m throwing a party fr. But I will try my best at all 3, regardless. Oh, and I’m participating in a KV Mini Bang (Trigun), so I will be posting an absolutely filthy one shot by the end of the year. But this means ALL other stories are either Rolled off to next year or abandoned. I will make another post about the specifics once I am done with the diagnosis part of the triage. But I feel kinda happy that I am limiting my scope to this for the year (it’s still a LOT, lol).
In terms of original writing: I have quite some ideas floating around… some have made it onto their own google docs, some are flowing via rewrites (bylb for example) and have made moderate progress, another is vaguely brewing in my mind in a way that makes me want to write a short story of it first and try to submit it somewhere first… or post it on ao3 lol, idk. but the idea is exciting: it is an indian sapphic love story which goes strong on the forbidden love themes (and infidelity). it’ll be the first time i’m writing something that is so close to my experience growing up, so i am curious to see how that turns out.
anyway, i’m going to try to do this more often, i.e, at least once more before the year ends :)
(if anyone is reading) see u next time!
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97ify · 2 years ago
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⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ GARAGE REGULATiONS ✶ .ᐟ
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀˖ ࣪⭑
please read everything that is listed below. therefore, if you ever have any questions or concerns don't be afraid to dm them to me, i will try my best to answer them at a timely manner.
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━━━ ⋆۫ ⠀ ⠀BEFORE YOU FOLLOW !
•⠀ i'm a huge marvel/venom fanatic so i will just rant about those on occasions. if it so happens to be a spoiler for future marvel projects i will put a spoiler warning beforehand. this blog also involves mature and dark content, so viewers discretion is advised.
━━━ ⋆۫ ⠀ ⠀FOLLOW THESE !
•⠀ i don't necessarily mind if my works are posted on other platforms, as long as proper credit is given. i also don't mind translations either considering the fact i speak spanish myself. however, if i find a work of mine posted to a different platform, or even on here, without any proper credit, then there will be a problem.
•⠀ please do not overly like my posts because tumblr will think i am a bot, when i am not. do not like more than five posts at a time because that can/will affect the state of my blog. if you do not listen to this, then i will have no other choice but to block/mute you.
━━━ ⋆۫ ⠀ ⠀I DONT WRiTE FOR !
•⠀ anything that is sexual content with minors, seeing as i am nineteen. this also includes aging up minors for sexual desires (you're fuckin weird if you do). incest/stepcest. grape/s3xual 4ssault. pedophilia. teacher x student. feet kink. piss kink. pet play. DDBG. MDBG. suic!de/s3lf h4rm. scat. yandere. white readers. eating disorders. abusive characters. p3dophelic characters.
━━━ ⋆۫ ⠀ ⠀I DO WRiTE FOR !
•⠀ on my blog i will write for any/all of the things that i'm interested in. ranging from the marvel cinematic universe, to five nights at freddy's. if you request a character or idol i am unaware of/have no knowledge on, i will try my best to do research on them. if you do so happen to request a minor character x reader, i will only write sfw content. if you request anything else you will be hard blocked. don't try to be slick with it either.
━━━ ⋆۫ ⠀ ⠀DO NOT iNTERACT !
•⠀ men/male identifying people (this is literally a lesbian account). white people. dsmp fans. leia apologists (black swan). kids under 15 (you're a middle schooler and i'm in college, so it makes me a tad bit uncomfortable). racists. white celebrity stans. homophobes. transphobes. fatphobes. ableists. yandere lovers. he/him lesbian haters (kys fr).
•⠀ genderfluid/nonbinary lesbian haters (kys ×2). female-identifying venom simps (he's literally fucking gay, you're weird). female-identifying BL/yaoi readers. coryxkenshin haters (you deserve absolutely nothing). you age up minors to write smut for them. miles morales antis. you anti any of my favs !!
━━━ ⋆۫ ⠀ ⠀FOR MiNORS !
•⠀ i won't block you if you're a minor because that'd be extremely hypocritical of me since i was introduced to wattpad/smut at the age of 9/10. however, it does make me uncomfortable when i'm AWARE of the fact that minors are on my account. so i don't care if it's in your bio, just don't explicitly tell me you're under 18. i am not responsible for what you read on the internet nor am i responsible for you not liking my works. if you don't, then leave cause it wasn't for you in the first place.
━━━ ⋆۫ ⠀ ⠀FOR REQUESTS !
•⠀ you can send requests to my inbox whenever you'd like. but, just know that i am a full time college student and also have a job as well, so i might not be able to always get to your requests as quickly as you'd like me to. i also always put my works first because they mean the most to me. however, aside from that, whenever you DO send a request please for the love of god be as descriptive as you can possibly be. make sure to include if you want a f/gn/afab reader, dom/sub, name of character, ages, settings, smut/ fluff, etc etc.
⤷ TO ADD ONTO THAT . . . when you submit a request, whether it be through my inbox or dms, please send three "🦭🦭🦭" so i know that you have thoroughly read through each and every last one of these rules. if you do not send one in your messages, i will ask you to read my rules before coming back to me and re-asking, this way there's no miscommunication on what i will and will not write.
⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ REQUEST FORM !
•⠀ i will also ask you to fill out a form when requesting. this way i know exactly what you want in your work. i expect you to be as explicitly detailed as possible when filling this form out because if not i won't know what you want and most likely won't even write your request.
「 📝 」 FORM (++ EXAMPLES) ! 〄
reader type :: (f,gn,afab)
reader personality type :: (dom/sub)
character request is for :: (mikasa ackerman)
setting/scenario :: (pre-timeskip, post-timeskip, in a car, the bedroom, public, etc. *pls be descriptive*)
genre type :: (smut/fluff)
IF SMUT . . . what kinks :: (praise, begging, femdom, etc)
request type :: headcanons (15 max), oneshot (2-3k wrds), drabble (100-1k wrds)
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© 97IFY. — do not steal my work. all rights reserved.
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turnaboutimagines · 5 years ago
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Hey I really liked the hananaki disease one shots,, do you think you could write an alternate ending for them where the reader recovers? As much as I love angst I also love happy endings, I hope it’s not too much to ask!💕
That’s very valid, pal!  These are honestly just alternative versions that can stand on their own, more than an alternative ending.  The language in this is just as flowery too though because it’s fun to write.  ;-)  Similar situations to the OG post, but the boys get their happy endings here.[The OG Post, is ANGST and features both Reader death and major character death.]Content Warning: Mentions of coughing up flower petals with blood and pain as per Hanahaki Disease’s premise (tl;dr, you start coughing up flower petals that slowly gets worse due to unrequited love.) 
Miles Edgeworth.
It’s hard not to fall in love with Miles Edgeworth.  While he may remain oblivious to it, you see the longing looks people give him and hear the hopeful flirtations in their voices.  But you know him too well, better than any of them, and watch all of their hopes wilt.  
He’s not malicious, you know, but relationships… well, he doesn’t think they’re his style and romance in general is a ‘nebulous concept’ to him.  You’ve heard as much for yourself over late night cups of tea.  “You aren’t missing out on much,” you’d laughed at the time and earned a rare, appreciative smile in return.
It’s the kind of smile that made warmth blossom in your chest, longing for seeing more such smiles on him.  Happiness and acceptance truly do suit him well, he deserves them and so much more.  And you want to continue to help provide those things for him to the best of your ability at his side as he continues to move forward.
You just happened to get unlucky that evening, finally coughing up a white rose petal flecked with crimson blood.  You’d spent too many evenings with him, bonding over tea and games of chess…  You’d fallen too deeply and there was no going back.  
You resign yourself to your fate.  He’s worth it, even if your wish won’t be able to come true.
The thorns dig into your lungs more with each breath and flurries of petals now coming up instead of just the single ones…  It all points to one fact: Your time’s running out.  So, you choose to spend as much of your time with him as you can.  Perhaps it’s selfish of you, knowing that it’ll hurt him all the more when you’re suddenly gone.  Yet he’s looking so haggard from how hard he’s running himself in the name of his work, it’s hard to stay away from him when you can be there with him to encourage him to take breaks and eat well.  
It’s a good way to spend your final days, at his side as you try and make him as happy as you can—wanting to see more of his elusive smile before you go.
You just so happen to get unlucky once again on one such evening, it happens while you’re playing a chess match with him as you discuss each of your days.  The coughing fit descends upon you too quickly.
You can only cough into your hand, wrapping your fingers around the red and white petals stained with your blood to hide them from view.  It’s a good thing, too, because by the time you’ve cleared your lungs, his hand’s on your shoulder as he looms over you—worried.
“Are you all right?”
You’re tired, you realize as you stare up at him with the proof of your illness in hand.  More importantly, you decide on a whim that he deserves the warning.  You unfurl your fingers and hold up your palm to him, refusing to meet his eyes as regret quickly blooms in your chest.  He grows as pale as a lily, eyes flickering nervously between you and the petals while his grip on your shoulder turns into a death grip.
“…Who is it?”
You spare a sad smile in his direction, torn between not wanting to place this particular burden on him, but also not wanting to lie to him.  You’d already done enough damage with your first impulsive action, another one may break him.
“Please… tell me.  I need to know.”
He releases your shoulder and instead hesitantly places a finger underneath your chin, tilting your face toward him to make you look at him.  You’ve never seen this expression on his face before, there’s a strange combination of hope and dread he presses the issue.  It’s all it takes to crumble your resolve…
“You, Miles.”
The single word hangs in the air.
He laughs, equal parts disbelief and relief with a light wheeze making it rough around the edges.  You can only blink up at him, shocked at hearing such a sound come from him (as adorable as it is), but especially in this context.  He clears his throat, a crimson blush spread across his cheeks as he averts his gaze and crosses his arms back over his chest.
“Ngh, I, um, apologize.”  He looks back to you, gaze intense as ever as his finger taps nervously at the crook of his elbow.  “I just… recently, I’ve… also had it… because of you.”
“Because of…?”
When the realization hits, you don’t hesitate pull him down to your level by his cravat and capture his lips in a gentle first kiss.  He freezes for a moment, but quickly relaxes into it as his lips fumble a bit awkwardly against yours.
You both smile into it, not minding the slight metallic taste in the slightest.
Phoenix Wright.
Phoenix never fails to make you laugh or feel special, drawing you helplessly into his gravitational pull of non-stop trouble as he does with so many.  The way he looks at you shines with life and his smile is pure and utter sunlight.  Everything feels different with him, more vivid and just… special.  There’s simply no other word that will do for him.
You’re just friends, though.  Or you were.  Now, you’re best friends and always will be… which is even worse.
Yet he says as much with such brilliant happiness that it should make you feel warm, too.  But it doesn’t.  Each time he says that dreaded word, it feels like a cold shadow’s cast over your heart.
It should be enough to prevent anything from growing, but… it isn’t.  Not for you at least.  These cursed feelings have only flourished in-spite of it until they came to bloom in a violent fit of coughing.  The single yellow petal, long and slender, stares up at you from its place on your desk—the red drops around it reminding you of what is to come.
However, it is not yourself that you think of first, but Phoenix.  Perhaps it’s because the sunflower petal reminds you of him or, maybe, you truly have fallen in too deep.
As hard as it is, you tear yourself out of his orbit, wanting to minimize the damage you do when you disappear from his life.  You want to preserve that precious smile of his as best you can and that means absolving him of any guilt he may feel from learning the truth.
The yellow petals are coming more frequently, now in clusters, and you can feel the stalks taking hold in your lungs—breathing is becoming harder with each passing day.  Perhaps that’s why you finally respond to one of Phoenix’s texts and agree to stop by the office to have a talk.  He never gave up on trying to contact you…as lucky or unlucky as that may be.
It’s at least an opportunity to grant him some closure.  A proper goodbye.  You should give him that much… it’s kinder in the long run.
Yet it’s excruciating for you, just sitting beside him on the sofa.  There’s no light in his eyes or beaming smile on his face, then, and his hands are jammed into his pockets.  He’s worried and it’s all because of you.
But it’s kinder in the long run.
“Why have you been avoiding me lately?”
“…I’ve just been busy.  It’s got nothing to do with you.”  A lie said with a smile is still a lie, 
He purses his lips, eyes darting around you at invisible objects.  And he is.
The magatama… you’d caught him using it before and he’d trusted you enough to tell you about it.  He doesn’t need it to know you’re lying though, he knows you too well, but still… you can’t help but bristle at it.
“Phoenix—”
“—Please, you know you can tell me anything.  Just… don’t lie to me.  Not about something this serious, especially if I’ve done something wrong.”
“I… you haven’t done anything, Phoenix.”
He frowns at you and takes your nearest hand, making your heart lurch its way into your throat.  “Then… what is it?”
“I—”
“—can’t tell you,” is what you want to say.  But you choke over your words, face losing all its color as you seize up.  You hear him call your name with worry, but you descend into a coughing fit and hack up another cluster of yellow petals into your hand.  There’s no point in hiding them.
He stares at the yellow petals in growing horror, too clever for his own good as he rapidly connects the dots.
“…that’s why.”  You work up your courage and smile at him.  “Because I love you romantically, Phoenix… not platonically.”
Suddenly, you’re pulled into a tight embrace, and after a few moments you hear him sniffle quietly.  You sigh and try and reach around to rub his back to comfort him, but your hands trapped firmly in-between your chests.
“I love you, too.  Romantically.”  He tightens his grip around you further.  “I realized and I’ve been meaning to tell you, but you’ve been… avoiding me.”
Now it’s your turn to make the connections.
“You…you’re not just… saying that, are you?”
It would be just like him to try and pull something like that just to try and save your life, trying to bluff his way into requiting your romantic feelings… his loyalty is one of the many things you love about him, though.
He pulls back and shakes his head, looking serious.  “I wouldn’t bluff about something like that… and let me present some evidence on the matter.”
The smile returns to his face as he closes the distance between the two of you and steals a kiss.  
His lips feel so soft and warm and you can’t help but melt into it as the flowers within you wither.
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chainofclovers · 3 years ago
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Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts
I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed
If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.
I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.
(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)
Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).
And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.
I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.
I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.
The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.
Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)
I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.
While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.
(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)
Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.
KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.
I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.
I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.
As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?
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hutchhitched · 4 years ago
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Walk Back
Written by: @hutchhitched​
Prompt 143: The girl of my dreams asked me if I needed a ride home from campus so I obviously let her drive me home then walked back to campus a couple of hours later to get my car. [submitted by anonymous]
Ratings/Warnings: G
A/N: I’m continuing to post the nine @everlarkficexchange prompts I took and then sat on throughout the early months of the pandemic. This is the sixth of the nine. Thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy. Huge thanks to @javistg for understanding the delays. Only three more to go!
 Peeta Mellark knows he’s got it good compared to a lot of people. He really does, but that doesn’t stop him from wallowing in pity every once in a while. He’s in college, the first in his family, on a hefty scholarship; his grades are good; he has a lot of friends and a good work study job that actually does give him some time to study. Those are all good things. They really are, and he doesn’t dispute it, but…
 He’s also had a rough home life with a mom who’s never satisfied with anything he does and a father who loves him but can’t stand up to his wife long enough to protect his three sons from her emotional abuse. He’s a first-generation college student who’s excelling in courses for his major but isn’t doing so great in all his other general education courses. He has to work a lot more than he should for someone with his course load. Worst of all, though, he’s madly in love with a woman who likely doesn’t know his name. Well, that’s probably not true, but still. She’s certainly not crazy about him the way he is mad for her.
 There’s just no way Katniss Everdeen, fellow Panem University student and the smartest girl in his biology lab, would ever give him the time of day. Not when she already has a boyfriend, Mr. Tall, Dark, and Rugged, who’s about to graduate with a promising career. That’s unlike Peeta, an art major. He’ll never amount to anything, or so his mother likes to remind him every time he’s stupid enough to visit his family.
 Besides, Katniss is beautiful and sassy and shy and so many other wonderful things. She has no idea the effect she has on him or any other male within a mile radius, including their biology professor who’s proclaimed her the most brilliant student he’s had in his twenty-two years of teaching. Peeta spends the better part of their class together watching her from across the room, which is probably why his lab partner hates him and his grade in that class absolutely sucks.
 So, while Peeta knows he’s got some things going for him, it’s not surprising that he finds himself a little down in the dumps occasionally—especially on days when his crush shows up at his workplace. It’s even worse when his co-worker knows about his hopeless infatuation and has no shame. Johanna Mason may be his least favorite person on days like that. Today happens to be one of those days. He’s cursing his life when Jo comes up behind him and leans down to whisper in his ear.
 “Oooooooooh ooooooh. Katniss is pretty, isn’t she? Look at her over there. So serious. What do you think she’s getting ready to check out, and is there any way to make it sexual when gets over here?”
 “Shut up, Jo,” Peeta hisses as his cheeks flush, and he curls into himself, trying to hide behind the circulation desk so Katniss won’t see him.
 The last thing he wants is for the girl he’s been crushing on for months to hear his co-worker tease him about his hopeless attraction. The problem is that he told Johanna in a fit of self-loathing, and she coached him through it, built him up so his ego was a little higher than the floor and prepared him some for what to say to a girl when he likes her. While it was very kind of Jo to offer, Peeta isn’t that hopeless. He’d had a number of girlfriends in high school, but none of them compare to Katniss Everdeen. She is a goddess.
“What time’s your shift done today, hot buns?”
 “Don’t call me that! What is wrong with you?” he hisses. “Why are you so terrible?”
 “Terrible? I’m trying to get you laid, buddy. It’s certainly never going to happen if I leave you to your own devices, although I’m sure you’re taking care of yourself plenty. You’re a guy, after all.”
 Peeta’s face floods with heat, and he wants to slide onto the floor and hide behind the counter. She’s not wrong—he is a healthy, twenty-one-year-old man who hasn’t dated in a while—but Peeta doesn’t want his co-worker to know that. She’ll probably tell the whole world if he confirms what she suspects. Or say something to Katniss, which would be horrifying.
 “Why do you want to know?” he asks, suspicious.
 “Knowledge is power, my friend. Knowledge is power.”
 Still not convinced, he welcomes a patron and scans the student ID he’s handed. “Exactly ten minutes,” he mutters as he types in the bar codes of the pile of library books in front of him before sliding them across the counter. It’s almost midterm, so everyone’s trying to finish projects and bibliographies for research papers before they leave for spring break. The library’s been slammed for days.
 “She’s on her way over here,” Johanna nudges him.
 He whips his head up, and his eyes widen as he realizes Jo’s right. Katniss pages through a book as she strides toward the circulation desk. Johanna turns to busy herself with a pile of returned books, and he squeezes his legs together under the desk. If he can just stop his hands from shaking, things will be great.
 “Hi, Peeta,” she says with a guarded smile as she hands him her student ID. “How’s it going?”
 “K-katniss! Hi!” His voice squeaks, and he cringes internally. He sounds like an idiot. “It’s good. I’m good. How are you?”
 “Fine. I’m fine.” She hands him her student ID, and he glances down at the book she set on the counter.
 “History of Sculpture? That’s…”
 She laughs wryly and nods. “Yeah, I know. I’m not sure how I managed to get myself into it, but I signed up for an art appreciation class. I have zero artistic ability, so it’s painful.”
 “Oh,” he says. “That’s…yeah.”
 Johanna snorts behind him, and he tosses her a warning look. He should have known better. The woman doesn’t have a tactful bone in her body. Instead, she comes to stand behind Peeta and surveys Katniss.
 “You know, Peeta here is an art major,” Jo announces with her hand on his shoulder. “I bet he could help you with your art appreciation class. He’s great at that kind of stuff.”
 “Are you really?” Katniss asks, her eyes widening in pleased surprise. “I didn’t know that.”
 “I am,” he confirms. “I’m more of a painter than anything else, but I know quite a bit about all the different media. It’s kind of in the curriculum for my major.”
 She looks impressed, but she shakes her head as she picks up her book and tucks her ID into her pocket. “I couldn’t ask you to help, but that’s cool. I thought you were a biology major like me.”
 Johanna smacks him on the back, and he glares at her before wiping his expression clean and flashing a closed mouth grin at Katniss. When nobody says anything, Katniss turns to go.
 “Nonsense!” Jo cries. “Peeta’d be happy to help. I’m sure there’s something you could do for him to repay his generosity.”
 He swears under his breath and elbows Jo in the gut.
 “Oh, I don’t think there’s anything I have that Peeta wants—”
 “A ride home?” Jo interrupts. “Peeta’s car’s in the shop. He asked me for a ride, but his shift is over now, and I’ve got another two hours before I can leave. Poor guy. He’d really appreciate the lift.”
 Relief colors her face, and she nods. “I’d be happy to do that. My car’s on the street. I snagged one of those metered ones that are always full. Must be my lucky day.”
 “Oh, I’d say it certainly is,” Jo says, a wide self-satisfied smile plastered on her face. She practically shoves him out of his chair and adds, “Peeta, why don’t you go clock out. I’ll finish this up for you.”
 “I can—”
 “No, you can’t. You’re too close to hours. Besides, you wouldn’t want to keep Katniss waiting, now would you?”
 “You really are the devil, aren’t you?” he hisses as he grabs his stuff. “My car’s in the parking garage, not the shop. What the hell are you doing?”
 “Getting you some time alone with the girl of your dreams,” she explains with a withering look. “Now, let her give you a ride home so you can schmooze her.”
 Still disgruntled, he shuffles to the door and meets Katniss on the steps. She shifts uncomfortably, tugging on her braid and hunching her shoulders. He wonders if she’s trying to hide or if she’s cold in the chill of the early spring day.
 “I really appreciate this,” he says.
 She nods and leads him to her car. “No problem. It’s the least I can do.”
 “You don’t have to do anything at all.”
 She’s silent as she starts her car. Hesitating, she glances over at him and asks, “Does that mean you don’t want to tutor me? I understand if you don’t. It’s asking a lot for someone you barely know, especially since I can’t really afford to pay you.”
 “Except in rides.”
 “Well, yeah. I can do that.” She smiles at him tremulously and shifts the car into gear. Glancing over her shoulder, she signals and pulls out of the parking spot and onto the street.
 “You could help me in bio,” he blurts and his cheeks heat.
 “Really?”
 He cringes and shrugs. “Yeah. I can’t seem to get the hang of it. I think I’m one of those people that understands it in theory but not in practicality. I’m doing fine in the lecture, but lab is really confusing.” He doesn’t add that most of that is her fault, but not really, because he can’t stop mooning over her.
 “I can do that.”
 He glances at the pleased curve of her lips and wonders how he can make it happen again. The joy of seeing her happy sinks into his bones and gives him life. It’s ridiculous, but it’s true. He has no reason to think he should except common human decency matched with his overwhelming crush. He feels like a middle school boy who’s just figured out that girls and boys have different parts.
 Katniss stops at the intersection and glances over at him. Bashful, she admits, “I don’t know where I’m going.”
 Peeta’s eyebrows furrow and he motions out the windshield. “South?”
 “No,” she answers with a nervous laugh. “I mean, I don’t know where you live.”
 He’s an idiot. Of course she doesn’t know where he lives. “Sorry! Sorry. Turn left here. I wasn’t thinking.”
 “If you want…”
 “If I want?” he prods.
 “Well, maybe, if you don’t mind, that is.” She clears her throat and then words burst from her in a torrent. “I know a coffee shop that no one else really goes to. It’s quiet and the coffee’s good. They know me there, and I have a table they kind of save just for me. If you wanted to go over some of this sculpture stuff today, that’d be a good place.”
 “Oh. Okay,” he answers, fighting to keep his face clear of the glee he feels. Katniss Everdeen just asked him to go out with her. Well, she asked him to go somewhere with her, but that was more than he’d dreamed would happen any time he imagined actually speaking to her. Not only is he going to sit at the same table with her in a public place, but he’s at her mercy with transportation. She’s got him captive, and he approves.
 “Maybe I can take a look over your lab notes with you, too. You know, if you want.”
 Oh, he wants. That’s never been in question. He absolutely wants when it comes to Katniss Everdeen.
 “That’d be great. Really great.”
 The place itself is an independent coffee shop in an older area of town called The Seam. The properties tend to be more run-down than those closer to campus, but the café is cozy and humble and has great choices in both coffee and tea. He chooses a black peppermint he’s loved since his father made it for him when he was sick. His father had also snuck cookies to Peeta despite the disapproval of his mom. He adds sugar before taking a sip that transports him back to childhood. He breathes in as he swallows and blows out a heavy sigh.
 Amused, Katniss asks, “That good?”
 Nodding, he inhales the aroma and smiles softly. “Yeah. It’s that good. Thanks for bringing me here.”
 Pleased, Katniss drops her head and shuffles in her bag for the book on sculpture and her class  notes. They work together for over an hour before reviewing information from their biology lab. He finds she’s a good tutor, knowledgeable and skilled at breaking down the concepts into sizable chunks that seemed overwhelming previously. When he compliments her on it, she waves him off but returns the sentiment.
 “I already feel like I appreciate art more.”
 “Glad I could help.”
 “That doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, though,” she teases. “I’ll still need you after break’s over, but I think I can pass the final now, anyway.”
 He shivers at her claiming she’ll need him. It’s closer to genuine interest than anything he’s ever gotten from her, and it gives him a small thrill of hope.
 Reluctantly, she packs up her bag and sighs. “I really need to get home, but this was fun.”
 “Yeah, I should be getting back, too. Got a lot to do before bed.”
 They’re quiet as they slide into the car. Contemplative, Peeta almost forgets to provide instructions so Katniss knows where to take him. As he guides her through unfamiliar streets that turn into those he sees every day, he sends silent thanks to Johanna for her brashness and refusal to let things go. He only hopes he doesn’t have a ticket on his car when he retrieves it—hopefully before it’s towed.
 “This is it,” he says with a wave at his front door. None of his roommates are home, which means he’s stuck until they return. He doesn’t want to say goodbye, but she’s antsy, unsure what to do with her hands or where to look. “Thanks again for the ride. Come find me at the library after break, and we’ll do a repeat of tonight.”
 “Sounds great,” she says warmly. “Hope you get your car back soon.”
 “Yeah, me too,” he grumbles.
 He watches her leave, lifting his hand in farewell until her car turns the corner and heads back the way she came. Fishing his cell out of his pocket, he sends his roommates a group text asking when they’ll be home and if one of them can give him a ride back to campus. As each of them gives a reason for their absence, he realizes he’s on his own. He does stow his bag inside and grab a drink before heading back outside. Squaring his shoulders, he shoves his hands in his jacket pockets and begins the walk back.
 It takes an hour, and he does have a parking ticket. Still, Peeta has no regrets. The afternoon with Katniss was the best of the year with the promise of more to come. She’s worth the inconvenience. 
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votederpycausemufins · 4 years ago
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We’re back with Summoning family! I’m referencing Rustic House Club in this fic, so you might want to go read it, especially the bonus chapter as  it has a bit that leads into this chapter, though it’s not necessary to read.
also ay yo @petrichormeraki ! new chapter!
The moment Jrum had seen Sam, he rushed to the redstoner and attached himself to one of his legs. Grum quickly followed to help pry his younger brother off the man, but Jrum made it as difficult as possible. “I am sorry for my brother. I assume you are Sam?”
“Yeah, that’s me. Can I ask what that was about?”
“Your mask. It resembles that of a creeper in such a way that it makes you resemble someone we are familiar with. Jrum likely saw the mask and presumed you to be him. He is already rather homesick.”
“Hey, don’t worry. I’m happy to help you two. Puffy said you needed help with some redstone?” Sam asked, earning a nod from Grum.
“Correct. We are robots that are powered by redstone. Our circuitry is complex enough that we do not have a way to easily self recharge, thus a charger for us will need to be constructed. Jrum? The blueprints if you please?”
Jrum handed a sheet of paper to Sam. It had various orthographic views of the device as well as interior images and instructions on how to build it. “That’s the tweaked version since our dads could make it smaller.”
Sam looked over the blueprints. “Hmm, yeah, this is gonna be pretty big, but it’s manageable. Do I need to make one for each of you?”
“No, we should be able to share.” Grum replied. “Though two would indeed be a better option, we would not want to force you to do more work, and once we have one charger, the two of us will be able to make a second ourselves without any looming deadline.”
“Alright then, let’s start making this thing.”
Sam took them to an open area which he also explained was where they could build a place to live around the charger. Grum thought that was a good idea as he mapped out the area for Sam and Jrum to start working. Grum also helped out as much as he could, but he had given much of his battery charge to Jrum, and soon it showed.
“You doing okay there?” Sam asked Grum, who’s movements were stuttered and slow. Grum didn’t respond, just continuing to work. “Hey kid? Uh, Jrum I think? Something’s up with your brother.”
Jrum stopped what he was doing and came over, looking at his brother. “Oh… h-he’s in low power mode. I… Grum do you want some of my charge?” Grum didn’t respond. He didn’t want to use any power for it. “Here, let me just connect us up.” Jrum started to pull out a cable, but Grum stopped him. “Don’t. Finish the charger. Instead. I’ll be. Fine.”
Jrum still looked worried, but slowly put the cable away. Sam went back to working, and Jrum almost did as well, but then Grum collapsed, now completely out of power. “No!” Jrum was immediately back at Grum’s side and started shaking him. “Please wake up! P-Please! I don’t want to be alone! W-wake up!”
Sam wanted to comfort the robot, but what just happened showed just how important this project was. So instead he just started working as fast as he could without messing up. Jrum reluctantly joined him after a few minutes, working slowly.
They had almost completed it when Jrum’s movements also became stiff and laggy. Sam paused what he was doing again to be next to Jrum, not wanting to leave him feeling alone. “What. If I. Don’t wake. Up again?” Jrum asked.
Sam gave a comforting hug to the robot. “You will. I promise.”
Jrum slowly hugged the man back. Sam held on until he felt Jrum’s grip loosen, and when he pulled away, Jrum was also completely off, save for the symbol of an empty battery before it disappeared, leaving everything dark.
“Now are you all sure this is a wise decision?” Xisuma asked, admin panel open and ready to send the group of six to Helscraft. 
“Yes! This is probably the last place we have to look!” Tommy shouted at Xisuma, surprising him. “And if we have to fight for them back! So be it!”
Mumbo put a hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “Calm down. This isn’t exactly the first time we’ve lost someone in there. I’m sure if the bots did end up in Helscraft, they’re probably in safe hands.”
Tommy looked over at Grian who gave a sad smile and nodded. “We’ll just need to be a little careful. Last time we were there I got mistaken for someone else, and since that person was the empress of the world, it could happen this time too.”
“Okay, someone good will have the kids, people are going to try and kill Grian, we protect him. Great! Got it! Let’s go!”
Xisuma rolled his eyes but smiled at his newest hermit before sending the group off to the hels dimension.
The group found themselves standing on a small island made of mycelium as well as being on fire. The water surrounding the burning island was a blood red color, though it otherwise looked like water. Mumbo walked over to a chest and pulled out some boats before putting them down. “Alright, we’re heading to that main island in the distance over there.” He pointed. “We’re going to need to find a portal that’s made of something that looks like glowstone, but isn’t. From there we follow a path lined with blue clouds. No questions, just get in the boats.”
The only time Tommy had heard Mumbo that serious was when he was scolding the bots, so he immediately listened and got in a boat, Tubbo getting in behind him. He followed behind the boats Mumbo and Techno were rowing, going towards the main island of the world. Looking at it was a bit jarring. He could tell this was like the hermits’ cowmercial district, but it also looked like it was a part of the SMP with how destroyed and griefed it looked.
Grian led them to a portal that looked like it was made from a golden material with blue magic in the middle. When Tommy went through, he was surprised to see something that looked so much like the standard overworld. Though it resembled a plains biome, something Tommy absolutely hated, it also didn’t with its mint green grass and blue dirt. Trees with light green, blue and navy leaves speckled the land, and unfamiliar mobs roamed the land. There was also one other difference. The place was absolutely freezing. 
“Wh-wh-where a-are w-we?” Tommy chattered out before he was handed a blanket made out of wool. Mumbo had one of his own and was handing out one to each member of the party, save for grian who was using his wings instead. One blanket had been brought for the avian though, and Techno took that one too, as being a piglin already made the overworld chilly, so this was on a different level.
“This is the aether. It’s what they have instead of the nether in Helscraft.” Grian answered. “And while The nether is supposed to be closer to the core of the world, making it much hotter, this place is far up in the air, making it extremely cold. The spawn here has something to make the air here breathable, but outside of this place, you need extra gear to breath for very long as there’s not much oxygen. Fortunately the path we’re going on has something set up, which is why those blue clouds are there. But also do not touch them because it will not end well for you.”
After Grian’s warning, everyone was very careful as they walked the marked path. Beings made of clouds attempted to attack as they walked, but the group had bows that made quick work of the mobs. Finally, as they drew close to the end of the path, a large rustic style mansion stood completely undamaged like the main island had been.
“Alright, now hopefully the bots are there.” Grian said, half under his breath before running towards the mansion. Tommy was the first to run off after him, the others all following behind. Just before they reached the front door, it opened, and Grian walked out.
“Oh! Grian! You came for a visit! How nice!” The second grian spoke before setting down a picnic basket and hugging his double.
“Nice to see you too NPG, but… please tell me you at least thought I would visit.”
The other Grian, NPG, tilted his head. “No, I’m sorry but I didn’t. Was I supposed to know? Did I forget a planned gathering?”
“No… I just… Grum and Jrum… they got k-killed… and their respawn… th-they didn’t show b-back up… w-we thought they m-might be here and…”
“Oh no! That sounds horrible!” NPG covered his mouth in shock. If there’s anything I can do to help, I will. I just need to visit Sense first.” NPG picked up his basket again. “If you want you could come with?”
Mumbo put his hands on Grian’s shoulders. “I don’t think that would be a good idea after their last meeting.”
“What the fuck did this Sense guy do?” Tommy asked, making NPG look over.
“Oh hello! I don’t believe I caught your name.”
“I’m Tommy. These are Tubbo, Philza and Technoblade. Now what about this Sense guy?”
“It is nice to meet you all. Perfect sense is the Hels counterpart to Mumbo here. From what I can tell, the first meeting between him and Grian did not go well at all.”
“How so?” Phil asked, dad instincts cropping up.
“He got extremely handsy with Grian.” Mumbo answered. “To put it lightly, clothes almost came off and Grian was left with a bruise on his neck. After that he tried to kill the both of us along with NPG.”
“Oh I remember seeing that bruise.” Tommy replied. “Now I get why Grian got so upset about my comment about your guy’s love life.”
“I wouldn’t mind meeting the guy.” Phil spoke up. For all we know, he could have some answers about your kids. If he was willing to mess with you before, he could be doing it again.”
“Alright then! Follow me!” NPG started to lead them off before doubling back and grabbing masks for everyone to wear. Once they were on, then NPG started leading the group through the unprotected land. A number of creatures attacked, but the group was relatively safe. 
Eventually they reached a large chasm, the sky below going down for miles, any ground below obscured by clouds. If there even was any ground below. “Okay now this is probably going to be scary for most of you, but what we’re going to do is jump onto this small purple cloud. Once you do, try not to move, there are blue aerclouds below, but it’s not the most fun thing in the world trying to get back to the start. Here, I’ll go first.”
NPG jumped onto the purple cloud and was immediately launched into the sky, rocketing forward until he hit another purple cloud that caused the same effect. He kept at this for a bit before finally landing on another island on top of some while clouds. The robot then turned around to face the others and waved them over.
There was a bit of screaming from some of the group as they were thrown over the chasm by the clouds, glad to be back on solid ground by the end. Once Grian had gotten over - flying instead of using the clouds much to everyone’s dismay - NPG started walking again until they finally reached a clearing. There wasn’t a single mob in sight, but there was a small house made of some unfamiliar wood, similar to what NPG’s mansion had been made with.
“Sense! I’m here to visit again! And I brought some friends!” NPG called out and then there was the rattling of chains coming from inside the building. The group immediately drew weapons, ready to face whatever game out of the building, but they lowered them as someone stepped out.
The man for the most part looked like Mumbo, but there were a number of things that made him different. His hair was much longer and looked matted, with something similar going on with his mustache. He had a blue tie that had stains which Tommy recognized as being from blood. The stains themselves were all near the top of the tie, where a large scar was present on the man’s neck, just above the fabric. His wrists were cuffed, about a foot of chain connecting them and his hands were stained bright red from redstone dust. His feet were in a similar situation, the ankles cuffed and connected, but a much longer chain was also linked to one of the cuffs, leading back into the house. Finally, the man was rather skinny. Mumbo himself was lanky which added to his height, but this man was so thin that some of his bones could be seen and his clothes hung on him loosely.
“Okay! So I got you some beef, though I made sure to soak it in broth all night so it’s nice and soft. I’ve also got some swet gummies that have some essential vitamins as well as some milk and blueberries. And then, once you’ve had all of that, I brought youuuuu” NPG dragged the word out as he slowly pulled something out of the basket. “A candy cane!”
Sense grabbed at the food and NPG was soon helping the helsmit eat. Grian and Mumbo were absolutely horrified at the scene, and even the group from the SMP were taken aback at the state this man was in. He was so weak, he could barely chew without help, which was very different compared to the evil genius Grian and Mumbo had the displeasure of meeting before.
When Sense was done eating, NPG went back to the basket. “So I know last time you said your dust was wearing out, so I brought you a new piece to play with!” The helsmit’s eyes lit up when NPG handed him a bit of redstone dust. He messed with it a bit before putting it away in his pocket, and then pulling out a death ray and pointing it at Mumbo, who was currently standing closest to him other than NPG.
Tommy took a step closer, drawing his sword and immediately the weapon was pointed at him. However, Sense was still weak and his hand was wobbly. Before he could hold it steady, NPG smacked the ray gun out of his hand and put it in his own inventory. “Bad Sense! Next time you won’t get any candy!”
“Did True do this to him?” Mumbo asked, now even more worried about meeting her to make sure the boys weren’t there.
NPG looked back and tilted his head. “What? Oh no. The new emperor did!”
“I thought you said True was the empress again.” Grian spoke. “You said that Sense got dethroned a few days later. Wouldn’t that be True?”
“Nope! Someone different. In fact I’m his second in command! Or running mate. Either works! He didn’t need one since it wasn’t an election or anything, but he insisted. Oh! We should go talk to him and see if he knows anything! He doesn’t really use any communicator so I have to visit him if anything comes up. But if Jrum and Grum are with him, I’m sure they’re just fine since I talk about them so much to him!”
Before anyone in the group could say anything else, NPG led them away and over to a large campfire. Techno raced to it once he could see it and held his hands out to warm himself. “Oh, you don’t have to do this. This will just take us back to the main island. There’s only really supposed to be one, so it takes you back to where you entered the dimension in, but Xannes made more!”
“Who’s that?”
“Oh, that’s Evil X’s name. I get to call him that because I’m his friend!m Anyway, let’s go!”
The group used the magic of the campfire to pull them back into the overworld. NPG Was almost immediately off running towards the castle, leaving the rest of the group to catch up. They went through a number of halls in the castle before finally getting to a set of large decorated double doors. “Okay, so he’s in here. I’m pretty sure he’ll let you guys come in and say hi and ask your questions, but I don’t want to be rude and assume, so I’m gonna go in there and ask.”
Everyone was perfectly fine with that, getting a moment or two to catch their breaths since none of them were robots like NPG. The door was still cracked open, so everyone was able to hear as he spoke to the emperor, so they listened in as they waited and rested.
“Hi! I just finished visiting Sense!” There was a pause, none of them hearing the emperor. “He managed to make a death ray. I think he kept lying when he said his redstone was wearing out. But he wasn’t able to use it on any of us.” There was another pause, this one much shorter. “Oh! Some friends came to visit! Grian and Mumbo had a question for you and also brought their friends along named Tommy, Tubbo, Philza and Technoblade! They were wondering if they could come in and talk with you.”
Everyone couldn’t help but hold their breath at the pause before a small cheer erupted from NPG and he was almost immediately back at the door. “Okay, he said you can come in and ask him things!”
The robot pushed the door open all the way before running back into the room. Grian watched as his creation sat down in a smaller chair next to a large throne centered against the far wall. Tommy gave a quick laugh at the cheery robot before his gaze moved over to the one sitting in the throne and it suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. Beside him, Tubbo was having a similar reaction and both Phil and Techno drew their weapons.
Sitting on the throne was a man. His elbow rested on one arm of the throne as his hand pressed against his cheek, holding his head up. His legs were crossed as well, giving him the look of someone who was bored or just didn’t care. A bandana was tied around his face like a bandit, covering his mouth and nose. A single brown eye was visible, starting down towards the group, meanwhile the other eye and the rest of that side of his face was covered with a mask of white porcelain, a simple smiling face carved into it.
“Dream…” Tommy spoke aloud, his voice trembling.
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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years ago
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HASO, “Connections.”
Hope everyone is having a good day today, and hope you like the story 
“Explain the difference to me one more time, I just want to make sure I understand.”
“Of course, sir you see t-”
“Admiral, I’m sorry to bother you but the Chairwoman just called, and she needs to speak with you.”
Admiral Vir stood from where he had been sitting with one of the crewmen, and tucked a notebook under one arm. “My Apologies corporal, can we continue this at a later time.”
“Of course, sir. I’ll send those resources I was talking about.”
“It would be much appreciated.”
He stepped out into the hallway pausing by Lt. Simon as she stood waiting for him.
“What is this about?”
“They didn't say, apparently it's too classified for me.”
“Uh-huh.”
Simon looked back over her shoulder as the two of them made their way down the hall, “What was that abou?”
“Corporal Isaa is a bit of a chemistry genius, I was just picking his brain.”
Simon frowned, “Since when did you care about chemistry.”
Since my ex girlfriend became an exalted saint of her entire planet leaving me to wonder if I ever even deserved her in the first place, and with an overwhelming desire to be  better person both morally, physically and intellectually  hoping that I might eventually evolve into the kind of man that could ever compare to a woman like her. Even if it never leads to anything because regardless of how I feel, the desire to become better is never a bad thing.
He shrugged, “You can never know too much, Simon.”
She glanced down at her clipboard, “You’ve been very busy the past few days, are you….ok?” She wasn’t really sure if she should be worried. She wasn't exactly good at reading people emotionally. She only really noticed the changes in patterns, and his sudden change to serious intellectual study and going to the gym twice a day struck her as odd.
Adam smiled  little, “Fine, in fact….. Better than I have in a while. Turns out, I like to stay busy, I like having things to do, and with two hours before bed to relax and unwind, it's not like I’m working myself to death.”
She supposed that was true enough. Where once the men's schedule had been as hard to predict as the evolution of the seasons, his new routine was as plotted as a grid carved by a laser. He hadn’t changed all that much, still goofy, still insistent on listening to distracting  music on the ridge, and wearing those annoying shoes with wheels, but all between his visits to different departments and scrawled notes on hard-copy notebooks, he was beginning to collect in large piles in his quarters.
Two visits to the gym every day, once to work out and once for sparring practice with anyone who would take him on was…. Odd.
A little more so the amount of times he had let Cannon kick the shit out of him, which was many, but the man could take a beating without complaint, so she supposed that was to be…. Admiried? 
Pitied?
No
“Is this about, Sunny?”
Admiral vir almost walked himself into a wall stopping just short as he turned to look at her eyebrows furrowed, “Simon?”
“What/”
“I think you’re getting better at reading people.”
He walked past her without answering the question and into the elevator up to the bridge. They stood quietly inside together as they waited, and Admiral Vir left her behind as he stepped onto deck walking over to take the call.
He sat in the captain's chair as the holo projection buzzed to life before him.
“Chairwoman.”
“Admiral.”
“What can I do for you.”
“Are you busy?”
“I don’t have to be, ma’am.”
“Good, good, something has come up, and we need the expertise of your crew.”
He leaned forward in his seat just a bit, “Go on.” 
“You recall the planet we sent you too, the one with proof of ancient alien inhabitants though there was no evidence of them?”
He shivered, “how could I forget.”
“And you say you encountered… something.”
He nodded “I seem to recall your psychological experts rejected my experience out of hand as…. Head trauma, wasn’t it?”
She sighed “yes, well…. There have been some developments, come to light, and we believe that…. That we were wrong. We would like you to meet up with the scientific team we are sending over, and, if you don’t mind, bring an evaluation of your experience from Dr. Adric, we may want to analyse it more. Our Team wishes to study it in more depth, if that would be acceptable.”
He bowed his head, “Yes, Ma’am. I will. Expect us there within the hour.”
“Our team won’t be ready for a few of your hours yet, so that should give you time to get that evaluation for us.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
***
Dr. Adric stared at the Admiral, sitting across from him in his office. Despite him being here for wildly different reasons than were normal, he couldn't help but analyse the man as if he were one of his patients.
He looked good, healthy, rested, and relaxed, which seemed uncommon for the man within the last year. He was also more  reserved than he had been, which could potentially be a sign of emotional exhaustion or simply increasing maturity, but the man’s easy smile and relaxed posture calmed him to that idea, and he sat back in his chair.
“How are you doing?”
Adam smiled again, “Just can’t help yourself, can you doctor,”
“No, afraid not.”
“I’m alright, hope to keep doing better in the future. I think, Like everyone, I still have my days, but they are less and less as the weeks go on.”
“I am very glad to hear that.”
“Did you get the message from the Chairwoman?”
He nodded, “About your experience on RM-46.”
“Yes.”
“What do you remember?”
He held his holopad in front of him and held it up, recording while he took notes.
“I remember feeling like I was being watched, that was a big one, probably more to do with how eerie the planet was than anything. I was on edge, but not afraid. When I fell into the trapdoor, I remember it was dark at first,”
“Did you hit your head?”
“No, but I did get the wind knocked out of me pretty badly.”
“Go on.”
“There were these little red glowing orbs on the wall and they pulsed on and off as I walked. They were everywhere, and they sort of permeated the room around me which grew bigger and bigger and bigger as I walked, until I was in a massive room, it could have housed a stadium inside it, and at the center of the room I saw this….. this …. Thing… It's hard to describe really but…. Not, impossible to describe, like a tree root, but curled into impossible combinations and connections, where it seemed like one should end another would begin, and where you would assume one would go in front of another it went behind, but in ways that seemed impossible. Like… Like an M.C Echer painting where the water flows uphill. Everything about it seemed to defy the laws of nature but not in a way that one could really explain…. And when I saw it I…. I had such an urge to… to touch it. Like i…. It's impossible to describe.  But you know when you've been underwater for too long and you really need to breathe, and you are so desperate for air that you claw your way back to the surface….. It was like that. And so I reached out, and when I touched it it was… warm, and soft like skin. I Didn’t really have long to think about that thought because before I knew it, itw was like I had been knocked away from my body. Ripped out of myself and cast into the universe.”
He raised a hnd to his head rubbing his temples eyes squinted slightly, “Trying to think about it…. Makes my head hurt because…. It was, unfathomable, there was so much of everything extending into infinity, and all of it was trying to fit inside my head at once. I saw things made and unmade and I felt like I was part of the universe. I was being pulled through everything and nothing and…. I.” He closed his eyes, “I’m sorry, it… it almost hurts to think about.”
He took a deep breath,
“And then I felt as if I was going towards something, somewhere specific, and as I approached…. I…. I felt as if I was going home. Not like home to my parents or even my brothers and sisters but… home.” He sighed, “I’m not explaining this very well. But I felt like I was heading back to somewhere I belonged, it felt warm, like if peace was a location, and there was the only place I could find it. It felt like going to somewhere where I would never hurt again, I would never, want anything ever again. And then…..” he rubbed his head again, “And then I can’t describe, it was like I could see…. Like a veil was being lifted from over my eyes and just as I was looking into… whatever it was, the veil slammed down like an iron shutter and I was pulled back…. I…. Have never felt such a sense of loss….”
He reached up a hand and wiped at his eyes, “I can’t even think about it without crying. It hurts so bad, like heartbreak, not metaphorical,but it physically hurts like my chest is being pulled apart. I think about it and I can’t breathe.” He took a deep breath resting his hand against his chest, “It never seems to fade. If I try to think about it too much, I just hurt.”
Dr. Adric reached out a hand and rested it on the other man’s arm, “We can stop.”
He took a deep breath and nodded, “It's just so, strange. Nothing has ever had that kind of effect on me before, and then just to be told it was all from head trauma, well I don’t buy it. But that wasn’t even the weird part.”
“No?”
“No, when I was there… I didn’t feel… alone…. It felt like, as I was carried away, I was wrapped in the arms of…. something …. Like a child, and when they took me away they said that I wasn't’ ready yet. I Could have imagined it I guess, but I swear, it told me that I wasn’t ready yet, and that is when I woke up five miles away from the city before it collapsed.”
They drew into a long silence.”
“I see.”
“Do I sound crazy?”
“No, I have just never seen a reaction like that…. And you say whenever you think about it.”
“I try to think very little about it. The last time I tried in any sort of way I ended up on the floor in the fetal position sobbing like a child and fell asleep there waking up with an absolutely massive headache, so ys, I try to avoid it whenever possible.”
Dr Adric frowned, “I think that is something we should look into.”
It looked as if Adam was about to argue, but then sighed, “Alright after this is over, I promise, we can look into it, but I am almost 100 percent positive, it isn’t just my head. There was something out there…. something …. Something I am supposed to be a part of, but I’m not.”
Adam turned his head to stare out of the room and into space.
***
Deus, that word again.
 He sat at the desk in his room staring at the piles of notebooks before him, and the projected map hanging in the air just off to the side. He spun in his chair to stare at the projections.
Deus…. The latin word for god or deity repeated back to him from the mouths of aliens.
At the projected map before him, the locations where he had heard those words blinked and pulsed slightly as little lines of glowing thread connected them.
First, it had been the infected starborn, and then it had been the Leviathan, and then from the city before the collapse. Why would a latin word make its way into the vocabulary of creatures who had never even heard latin before. Or perhaps this was just some sort of fluke, it was a big universe and some of the sounds that alien made sometimes made human words, it was bound to happen. But the fact that they meant the same thing swas odd.
He wondered if it was some kind of greeting instead, but shook his head thoughtfully, no, they had been talking to him when they said it, directly speaking to him, but that hardly made sense either, last time he checked he wasn’t some great dity of overwhelming power.
He assumed he would have noticed by now.
He tapped his foot lightly against the ground, and off to the side waffles raised her head, wagging her tail slowly across the floor.
“You confused too, girl?”
She whined softly and rested her head back on her paws.
He turned to look back at the map. He was missing something here, a very big piece of something. And he wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to know what.
Of course that wasn’t going to stop him he supposed.
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angryinternetduck · 3 years ago
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When All Feels Lost Chapter Three: We'll Be Alright Nerves, fancy boas, a phoenix rising from the ashes. A princess is left on a cliffhanger, Harry's a dramatic Renoir painting, and you dive in headfirst. It won't be an easy ride, but you'll be alright. Warnings: Explicit language and more of the heavy topics from last chapter. about 8,000 words << prev chapter | series masterlist | general masterlist | ask ~*~ “You look nervous,” Harry murmurs into your ear as he appears next to you. His hand hovers at your waist, charm turned up high as he gives smiles and waves to the people walking into the theater.
You shrug, keeping your own smile on your face as you say, “Looks can be deceiving.”
“You’re gonna be great,” Harry tells you anyway.
“Sure hope so.”
Around you, the theater looks nothing less than glorious. All the lights are on, a warm golden against the deep burgundy of the walls and carpet. Diamonds glitter, shoes shine, dress hems flirt with the floor.
There’s a low hum of chatter from the masses of people filtering through the lobby and making their way to their seats. Lights in the chandelier hanging miles above you twinkle and clink as they shift in the soft breeze floating through the open doors.
Despite what you told Harry, he’s right; you’re nervous as hell.
Which makes sense. It’s opening night. Of course you’re nervous.
Your first scene is a few scenes into the second act, meaning you have plenty of time to help Harry greet everyone up front before heading backstage to get ready. It’s quite different than all of your previous opening night experiences, but it’s no less nerve-wracking. In fact, it’s significantly more nerve-wracking because of how much is riding on its failure.
A small man wearing a beret and large glasses catches your attention, and you nudge Harry so he sees him too. Harry nods, confirming your suspicions: that’s the critic from The New Yorker.
Harry wiggles his eyebrows at you.
Laughing slightly, you walk over to the critic and start to fiddle with your purse. He looks up, thick eyebrows furrowing at the sight of you. “Hello,” he says curtly, and you smile at him. “Hi,” you reply. “You’re here for Fatigue?”
“Yes.”
“A critic?” you go on.
“Yes.”
You clear your throat, slipping your hand into your purse. Lowering the small bag to waist height and glancing around to ensure no one’s looking your way, you murmur, “I’m a co-producer of this fantastic play...” You shift your fingers to show him a few hundred dollar bills. “And I’m sure your review will be nothing less than spectacular, correct?”
The critic scoffs, eyes widening, and he whips off his glasses in rage. “You dare attempt bribe me?” he hisses. “You think I, a critic of high moral and dignity, can be swayed by a few measly dollar bills?”
You struggle to hide your grin.
“I can assure you, madam,” the critic continues, “this review will be short and honest.”
“Oh, no,” you say.
The critic scowls at you, barks a crisp, “Goodbye,” and storms out of the theater.
Turning around, you meet Harry’s gaze and snap your fingers in a sarcastic oh, drats sort of fashion. Harry grins, and this time you don’t hide your own smile as you mirror his expression and walk back to him.
“Too easy,” you tell him.
Harry smiles. “And now we wait for, uh - Joe,” he says, reading an email on his phone.
“Joe,” you echo.
“Dziemianowicz.”
You blink. "What’d you just call me?”
Harry snickers and tilts his phone so you can see the name on the screen. Sure enough, it says Joe Dziemianowicz. “‘The esteemed critic from the New York Times,’” you read. “I’m sure he’ll love this.”
Harry shakes his head. “I certainly hope he doesn’t.”
“Right,” you say. “How do you know he won’t react like, uh - like The New Yorker guy?”
“Because I’m such a charmer,” Harry replies with a sweet smile.
You raise a brow. “And I’m not?”
“You are,” Harry says, shrugging. “When you want to be.”
“You flatter me,” you deadpan.
Harry grins. “I do try my hardest.” He points out a guy with a notebook under his arm, then tells you, “I’ll catch up with you later, yeah? Make sure D’Angelo’s not fainted yet.” He walks off, and you watch him for a second.
The plan is to get as many awful reviews as possible. Most of them should just come naturally - no one could watch the play and give it any positive comments at all - but you’re guaranteeing two of them to be absolutely horrific with bribes.
The critic you just attempted to bribe from The New Yorker should give some sort of irate nonsense about the dishonorable intentions of the producers of the surely terrible Fatigue. As for the fellow Harry’s heading for, his review will be more detailed in its critique. Harry’s goal is to actually bribe this Joe Dziemianowicz successfully - but for a bad review.
As Harry begins his explanation to Mr. Dziemianowicz, you slip through the crowds until you reach backstage, where D’Angelo is, in fact, on the brink of losing consciousness. He’s taking small sips of water from a glass in which you can see small pink feathers floating. They’re probably from the large pink boa he’s wearing over his suit, which is a slightly jarring green color covered in tiny pink butterflies.
“Angel,” you greet him, giving him a hug.
“Oh, Magenta,” D’Angelo replies woefully. “It’s a disaster. A complete and utter disaster.”
You sigh. “It hasn’t even started.”
“Oh, but when it does, it shall go down in flames.”
“And from the ashes shall rise a phoenix.”
D’Angelo gives you a faint smile. “I do adore you, darling.”
“And I you,” you say with a grin. “Come on, Angel, we have a play to put on.” You gently lead him through the dressing tables, where everyone’s getting ready. Someone glues orange lashes on while another person zips their dress; an actor expertly quiffs his hair in the corner with a loud can of hairspray.
“Your optimism… is inspiring,” D’Angelo murmurs, absentmindedly fixing someone’s collar as he passes. “That’s the goal,” you tell him, taking his glass of water from him when he holds it out to free both his hands. He takes a makeup brush and palette out of a girl’s hand and begins to brush some product on her face. She looks slightly startled, but doesn’t say anything.
“Where’s your Harry?” he asks as he works. “Charming the audience, I presume?”
You start to reply, stop, and then decide on, “Um… probably.”
“He certainly has a way about him, doesn’t he,” D’Angelo muses.
You clear your throat and look down, smiling involuntarily. “Yeah.”
D’Angelo sighs. “You must remember to keep your head up.”
Impulsively, you snap your chin up straight, then realize he’s talking to the girl whose makeup he’s doing. “And keep your voice up as well,” D’Angelo continues. “Project, my dear. You have a very pretty voice.”
“Thank you,” she whispers.
“Also,” D’Angelo adds, handing her makeup products back, “your blouse is inside out.”
Flushing through her makeup, the girl looks down at her blouse, which is, in fact, inside out. The tag waves at you from her neckline. She looks a bit horrified, and she hurries away to correct it as D’Angelo ambles on.
“Have you talked it out yet?” he asks. “With Harry?”
You frown. “Huh?”
“Oh, you know,” D’Angelo hums, giving you a lazy smile. “The ‘what are we’ talk.”
You’re too surprised to even reply, but D’Angelo takes your surprise for denial. “Oh, don’t play coy, Magenta. To steal the wise words of Miss Swift” - he clears his throat - “you could see it with the lights out.”
“Sometimes,” you tell him, “you’re just a bit too dramatic.”
He catches your eye. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
You hold his gaze. “You are.”
“Your acting talent is astounding,” D’Angelo murmurs, looking away.
“I think I preferred your hopeless talk of your failing play.”
His brows jump. “My failing play,” he echoes incredulously.
“Our failing play,” you amend.
“Go find Harry, darling,” D’Angelo tells you with a smile, “and stop bothering me.”
You grin. “If you insist. Break a leg, Angel.”
“I’ll break yours if you keep talking,” he says. “Run along, now.”
***
The theater, sweeping out below you in a magnificent blend of golds and reds, is truly breathtaking. You’re in the balcony seats reserved for you and Harry now, watching the chatter and buzz of the people below.
You nudge him and echo his words from earlier. “You look nervous.”
“I am,” he mutters.
“Don’t be.”
He laughs wryly, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands. “Gee, that fixes everything.” You sigh and sit back in the chair, looking down at the stage. “It’ll work. There’s no way it won’t.”
“I know,” Harry says softly, looking up.
There’s a beat of silence. You’re not sure what to say. Then the lights begin to dim, and Harry leans back again. In the darkness, you feel his hand find yours. He squeezes your hand, then lets go.
The conversation fades, and Charlie Manswell, playing Leopold Gray the retired FBI agent, walks out onto stage. He looks even more nervous than Harry does; you can see his hands shaking from all the way up here.
The play drags on. Neither you nor Harry says a word at all. Tension settles, heavy and dense, thickening in the air between you and Harry. An hour in, a group of people walk out. Low murmurs sound throughout the theater, and then it goes quiet once more.
You and Harry exchange a glance.
A few minutes before intermission, you go down to start getting ready for your part. Backstage, D’Angelo has calmed down significantly. He looks to be in a bit of a daze, holding his half-empty glass of water in both hands.
“Ah, Magenta,” he greets you when you say hi. “Just in time. Your costume’s over with Madeline… Stay away from the makeup, darling, Madeline will do it for you.” A smile teases the corners of his lips. “No more catastrophes, thank you…”
“I’ll try my best,” you reply, walking over to get changed. Your nerves intensify as you get dressed and made up. A swarm of butterflies turns your stomach over, adrenaline spikes through your veins, sweat gathers in your palms.
Standing in the wings just out of sight, you close your eyes and take a deep breath. The lights dim, the curtain lifts, and you open your eyes. Your gaze darts over the crowd, struggling to see anything through the bright lights.
It takes a second to process, but a grin’s breaking out across your face almost before you can fully form the thought: the theater’s practically empty. People must have walked out during the intermission, you realize with a quiet, giddy laugh.
Charlie, standing on stage, must have noticed too; his voice wavers just slightly through his first few lines. You feel a twinge of sympathy for him. Despite everything, you do feel terribly for all the actors who really are taking this seriously. They’ll still get their cut, though, if not a great review in the newspapers.
When you see your cue, you walk out and begin to act.
Ridiculously, it feels good to be on stage again. Even if it’s doomed to fail, if it’s a joke, if your already nonexistent reputation will almost certainly take a nosedive after this play even if it’s the best performance of your life.
The second half of the play goes much faster than the first. You’re taking bows before you realize, and you smile happily not because of rambunctious applause, but because of the few scattered claps you receive from the nearly empty audience.
Harry’s giving you a standing ovation from his box.
Backstage is quiet after the curtain falls. D’Angelo, surprisingly, is the most cheerful, popping around and giving everyone enthusiastic feedback. He’s exchanged his glass of water for a flute of champagne, which he sips at elegantly in between words.
“Wonderful job, darling, positively splendid,” he says to you, patting your cheek. To Harry, he adds, “And wonderful play, Mr. Styles. The reviews shall be the first of their kind.” A grin begins to spread across your face, and D’Angelo winks at you before whisking off to console someone crying by the mirrors.
“The first of their kind,” Harry echoes under his breath.
You laugh and reply, “He got that right.”
“Let’s get food,” Harry suggests. “I’m starved.”
Nodding, you tell him, “I’ll meet you at the diner,” and grab your stuff to change out of your costume. He walks off, saying goodbyes as he leaves. After changing into something more comfortable, you do the same, hugging D’Angelo goodbye and talking with a few people on your way out.
A Fleetwood Mac song is playing on the jukebox when you walk into the diner. Harry’s chewing french fries, staring out the window. He looks pensive, and you tell him that as you slide into the booth.
“I am,” he admits quietly. Then he tacks on, “Worried” like it hurts to say. “I’m worried.”
You bite your lip, watching him for a second. His eyes are downcast. “Your ringer’s on, right?” you ask, nodding at his cell phone. Harry nods, picking it up. “She’ll call,” he murmurs, sounding like he’s trying to convince himself.
“She will,” you assure him. It’s the company manager you’re talking about, who will hopefully decide that between the attendance - or lack thereof - and horrific reviews, she can’t keep your play open any longer.
“Ninety percent of the theater walked out,” you go on. “There’s no way they won’t close us.” Harry shrugs, leaning back and clearing his throat. “Er… yeah. Yeah.” He nods, an air of finality around him as if he’s done talking about it.
Tapping your fingers against the table, you hesitate for a second before speaking again. “Not to… pry or anything, but what happened with you and her?” you ask. “Gwen? The company manager?”
Harry’s brows jump. “What makes you ask that?”
A tad embarrassed, you shake your head. “Oh, it’s… nothing. Just with… Aurora… and what you said about, uh - Tanner Smith liking your old… girlfriend… presumably…” You laugh, a bit awkwardly. “But you don’t have to answer that. Sorry.”
“No, no, it’s fine,” Harry says. He shrugs, looking at his glass of water. “Yeah, we had a thing. It was a while ago. We, erm… We were pretty close.” A small smile curves his lips as he traces shapes in the condensation on the glass, and your gaze shifts to the window.
“We worked on a project, a big play we wrote together… Smith helped with that. She’s gorgeous, Gwen…” He pauses again. You regret asking. Finally, he clears his throat and goes on, “Er, but yeah, he took a liking to her. That’s really the only reason he still invests in anything, I think. He keeps hoping she’ll come back.”
He looks up, giving a wry laugh. “She won’t. Aurora scared her off. I brought her to the hospital and she kind of… It was too much. She was a little bit… she wasn’t very…” He clears his throat. “Nice with her. With - er, with Aurora…” His smile fades into something a little bit more genuine, and he meets your eye. “Not nearly as nice as you are with her.”
You frown.
Another bit of a pause, and he looks back at his glass. “But, erm… yeah, Gwen wasn’t a huge fan of the whole… taking-care-of-a-sick-child-in-the-hospital thing. She said all this stuff about commitment and not even wanting -” His jaw clenches, and he makes faint air quotes with his fingers as he mutters, “‘Normal kids’, much less a kid that…” He fades off. “I dunno. Wasn’t great. So.” He looks up and shrugs. “That’s that.”
“Wow,” you breathe. “I’m - I’m sorry. That’s awful.”
“Don’t be,” Harry sighs. “It’s over now.” He gives you a half-smile, popping a fry into his mouth. “I’ve gone and ruined the mood, haven’t I?” You shake your head and reply, “I asked.” You half-smile back at him. “If anything, it’s my fault.”
“If you insist,” Harry says. “Come on, tell me something good.”
You raise a brow. “Like what?”
He smiles big, nudging your foot gently under the table. “We’re going to Rio.”
You smile big too, because he’s not even kidding. You booked the tickets with him a few days ago. The plan is to get out of the country for a while until everything settles down. You’ll avoid a few calls, lay low, then come back to thousands of dollars and all your problems solved.
“I can’t wait to go to the beach,” you murmur, leaning back against the booth.
Harry hums in agreement. “You’ll love the view,” he says.
“You’ve been?” you ask.
Harry shakes his head, a stupid smile on his face. “Nah. But the view of me in my little yellow swim shorts can make up for any underwhelming scenery.” You scoff a laugh and echo, “Little yellow swim shorts?”
“They’re fantastic, darling,” Harry assures you with a big grin. “We’ll have to go shopping so we can match.” You nod, giggling despite yourself. “Forget the beach, I can’t wait for that.” Harry nods sagely. “It’ll be great.”
You crack jokes with him about his swim attire the whole way home.
The phone doesn’t ring once.
***
The second night is not nearly as exciting as the first. The lobby is empty. A few people filter in, but there were significantly more tickets bought than the number of attendees. As far as you know, there aren’t any more ticket sales, either.
You’re somehow even more uneasy than you were last night. Harry is, too. Nobody says anything. It’s just a bunch of nervous looks and heavy silence. Backstage is quiet, too. D’Angelo is the only one saying anything at all. His voice is lower, though, and even his orange boa seems to be a bit lifeless.
The play seems to take hours. People walk out. It’s getting a bit depressing - you realize that’s your goal, for the theater to be totally empty, but it’s really quite difficult to act to a nonexistent audience.
Backstage is quiet after the play, too. You get changed and walk out to meet Harry, brows jumping when you see him talking to a woman you don’t recognize. She’s tall and thin and blonde, sunglasses perched on top of her head. Her clothing is casual, just a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt.
“Hello,” you say hesitantly as you walk up to them.
“Hey, there,” the woman greets you. Bright blue eyes meet yours, and she smiles as she sticks her hand out for you to shake. Her nails are painted a light pink. You match her smile and shake her hand, introducing yourself.
“Nice to meet you,” she says. “I’m Gwen.”
Ah, you think. You steal a glance at Harry, who looks a bit tense.
You clear your throat. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“Yeah,” she replies, laughing a little. “I, uh… Yeah. Well, uh, I was just starting to talk to H about Fatigue. And, um… I’m sorry, but I’m not sure you’ll be happy to hear our decision…” You look at Harry again, and he doesn’t meet your eye.
“That doesn’t sound good,” you say, because Harry stays quiet.
“Well, I think you’ve seen the reception,” Gwen says. “And there hasn’t been a single ticket sale since before it opened last night.” She sighs, a sympathetic look on her face as her gaze bounces between you and Harry. “I’m afraid we just can’t afford to keep it open any longer.”
“We understand,” Harry says, finally speaking up. His hand slides into yours, surprising you, and you watch Gwen’s eyes flick down to catch the action. “We’ll go tell everyone,” Harry goes on. “It was nice seeing you, Gwen.”
He leads you away, and you nod goodbye at Gwen a tad awkwardly over your shoulder.
“You okay?” you ask quietly once she’s out of earshot.
You see his jaw flex, but he doesn’t answer for a moment. He pulls his hand away from yours and runs it through his hair, and then, barely loud enough for you to hear, he says, “That was my sweatshirt.”
“Oh,” you say, wincing.
“I can’t believe her,” he mutters. “Christ.”
You pause a second, unsure what to say, then decide, “I’m surprised she didn’t just call.”
Harry just shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just… We’ll have to tell them. They should hear it from us.” You nod and murmur, “D’Angelo will be devastated.” Harry sighs, pushing open the door. “I’m sure he saw it coming.”
Everyone looks up when the two of you walk in.
As soon as D’Angelo sees your expressions, he finishes the last of his champagne in one gulp. He sighs, holding your gaze, and then speaks to Harry. “How’s your lovely Gwen doing, then?” he asks breezily, his easy tone a sharp contrast to his strained body language.
“I’m not sure,” Harry says quietly. “We didn’t talk much.”
D’Angelo hums lowly. “It’s not good news, I presume?”
“No,” you say. “No, it’s… it’s not.”
“Finished, are we?” D’Angelo asks.
Both you and Harry hesitate.
And then Harry answers, “Yeah.”
“I’m sorry,” you add weakly.
D’Angelo raises his empty champagne flute. “It was a valiant effort.”
There’s a beat of silence, and then everyone looks away and begins packing up their things. Low chatter breaks out, and D’Angelo slowly drifts over to the half-empty bottle of champagne in the corner. He inspects the label, swirls it around, and then takes a drink directly from the bottle.
Harry clears his throat next to you. “I was planning to go to the hospital,” he murmurs.
“Yeah, that’s a - that’s a good idea,” you reply with a nod.
You lock eyes, just for a moment, and then Harry turns away.
“I’ll meet you at the car,” he says, and walks off.
You say your goodbyes and follow Harry out.
***
“You’re… leaving?” Aurora gasps, eyes wide and beginning to glisten.
Harry squeezes her hand and tells her, “Just for a while.”
“A while?” she echoes, a tear rolling down her cheek. “But - but -”
“We’ll be back before you know it, princess,” you murmur from behind Harry.
Harry nods. “You’ll blink and we’ll be back.”
Aurora hiccups a sob, chin wobbling as her gaze darts between you and Harry. “But we’re almost done with - with Trumpet,” she whispers. “You can’t leave me on a - a hill - a hang - a rock -” She breaks off with another sob, pulling away from Harry to wipe at her nose with her little hand.
Your heart cracks in two. “A cliffhanger,” you whisper.
“You can’t leave me!” Aurora cries.
“We’re not, baby,” Harry insists, voice cracking. “I promise, we’ll be back.”
Aurora sniffles, crossing her arms over her chest and stubbornly looking at the other end of the room, away from either of you. “Just go,” she whimpers. Harry reaches out, and she jerks away, closing her eyes as tears fall faster.
“We’ll be back,” Harry promises again, voice barely audible.
“Go away!” Aurora sobs, and she burrows under the blankets.
Harry opens his mouth to speak, looking hopeless, and you place your hands on his shoulders. “Come on,” you say softly. “She’ll come around. We’ll call her. FaceTime.” Harry closes his eyes, just for a second, and then stands up.
“We’ll… we’ll be right back,” he murmurs.
No response.
“I love you, okay?” he tries. “And I promise… I promise we’ll be… right back…”
Still nothing.
Harry wipes his face and clears his throat. “Bye, Aurora,” he whispers.
Aurora just sniffles again, pulling the blanket further over her head.
Gently, you take Harry’s hand and guide him out.
“It’ll all be worth it,” you tell him, squeezing his hand.
Harry nods and squeezes your hand back, silent.
***
Everything’s packed.
The money has been transferred to several offshore accounts, safe to stay unnoticed until everything’s settled down and you and Harry can start slowly shifting it back into your own accounts.
The plane ride is a bit tense. Harry brought a deck of cards, of course, and you trade magic tricks and play games of Go Fish and Gin Rummy. He chews gum and you giggle watching him attempt to blow bubbles.
It’s hot in Rio. Harry holds your hand as you navigate the airport and the buses to your hotel. It’s a relief to finally arrive, to collapse onto the big fluffy bed and sprawl out in the glorious air conditioning.
The first night, the two of you order room service and eat dinner while watching TV.
And the phone. You watch the phone, too.
Every so often, your gazes will both drift to the phone at the same time, and you’ll catch his eye and give a half-smile. You’re waiting for a call from an investor, of course, demanding where their money is and why the hell they haven’t been able to reach you.
In reality, there’s no way they’ll think of you. The play has probably already been forgotten. Individually, each person gave such a small amount that they probably forgot about it days after they signed the papers. To think that they’d not only remember your play but that they’d be angry that you lost their money is ridiculous.
There’s no way.
It’s silly to think about, really, and whenever you find yourself worrying, you take a breath and think about how mind-boggling your situation is. You’re in a hotel room in Rio de Janeiro that’s almost as big as your entire apartment.
The hotel room you’re in is large. It’s a suite. The bathroom’s ginormous, the closet’s practically just as big, and the desk is a rich, dark oak color fit with huge drawers and a bright lamp. There are two small couches situated in front of the windows, right in front of the door to the little balcony just outside.
Huge windows look out over the glittering city, and far in the distance, you can see the Christ the Redeemer statue. Twinkling lights wink at you, brightly colored in the pitch-black night. Trees sway in the light breeze, and the softest sound of music can be heard even as far from the city as you are.
In a suite as big as this, there are two beds. Harry falls asleep in the same bed you do anyway, on the opposite side. You don’t think about it until the next morning when you realize both of you somehow gravitated to the middle, and you’re curled into his side with your head on his chest.
The sound of birds wakes you up. You’re struck with the oddest of feelings; everything is just so surreal you’re not even sure where to begin. It’s so much more pleasant than it should be to just lay there, reveling in how content you are nestled up to this guy you used to despise with all your being.
Then, suddenly, your heart begins to ache, because you realize you haven’t gotten around to letting him know just how much your feelings towards him have changed. Nothing’s happened since that kiss, and it hurts.
It hurts just to think about it, and being right next to him like this isn’t helping. You roll out of bed, wash your face with cold water, push all of those thoughts out of your mind. It’s not worth the stress.
Harry stirs as you brew a cup of coffee, sitting up and running a hand through his hair with his eyes still half shut. “Smells good,” he mumbles, voice heavy with sleep. “Coffee,” you tell him, lifting your now full cup. “Want some?”
He nods, stretching up towards the ceiling before flopping back down. “Mhmm.”
You start another cup, then turn around and lean on the dresser, watching him while you take a hesitant sip of your scalding coffee. You can see his chest rising and falling gently, and his swallows peek out of his white t-shirt. He’s on his back, head to the side, morning sunlight reflecting through the trees by the window and splashing over his face like he’s in some dramatic Renoir painting.
The coffee maker sputters to a stop. You blink, feeling like an absolute creep for just staring at him like this, and hurriedly turn around to grab the cup. Harry sits up as you walk over, and after handing him his cup, you sit on the edge of the bed, crossing your legs and cradling your warm coffee in both hands.
He takes a sip, and his eyes flutter shut blissfully. “Bloody hell,” he sighs.
��Jesus,” you laugh. “It’s not that good.”
He pouts at you. “It’s fucking incredible.”
“Guess it’s those Brazilian nuts.”
Harry grins. “Damn right,” he says.
He holds your gaze for just a second, smile still in his eyes, and you have to look away.
Standing up, you clear your throat and turn to look out the window. “We should… go somewhere, or… something,” you say. There’s a beat of silence, and then he laughs, just a little, and you’re looking over at him again before you can stop yourself.
“What?” you ask, and you can’t stop yourself from smiling, either.
He giggles at you. “I - we’re in Rio, and you think we wouldn’t go somewhere?”
You scoff, shaking your head as your face heats a bit. “Hey, I don’t know!”
“Sorry, sorry,” he tells you, still smiling, and he stands up and runs his hands through his hair as he stretches again. “We can take a walk,” he suggests. “Get to know the place.” You nod, looking down into your coffee.
“Sounds good,” you say.
***
“It’ll have six bedrooms.”
Harry grins. “Eight bathrooms.”
“Twelve kitchens.”
“Fifteen pools.”
“Twenty - uh… Twenty… fireplaces…?”
Harry laughs, shaking his head, and takes your hand, swinging it up and down. You’re walking along a beach, sand slipping under your flip-flops and sinking under your feet. You’ve just finished breakfast, and you feel perfectly content.
“I’ve always wanted to build my own house,” Harry says.
“Missed opportunity in construction?”
Harry frowns and amends, “Er - well, more design my own house.”
You nudge his hip, smiling. “Think you’d look good in one of those orange hard hats.”
“Thought you’d prefer something else that’s hard…”
You scoff a laugh. “Wow. Coming on strong for ten in the morning.”
“Sorry,” Harry laughs. “Too much?”
“Maybe just wait a few more hours. Let me get something better than coffee in me.”
“Asking me to get you drunk?”
You just shrug, grinning at him.
“I’ll take you up on that,” Harry says.
There’s a beat of silence, and you watch your hand, intertwined with Harry’s, still swaying back and forth. The waves gently crash against the shore, birds chirping away in the distance.
After a second, you clear your throat. “So,” you say, “you kissed me.”
Harry gazes off at the water. “Did I?”
You stop walking. You open your mouth to reply, then close it again.
He looks at you, and there’s a smirk on his lips. “Don’t remember that,” he says.
You’re not sure how to respond. Hurt rushes through you, then anger, confusion, and -
“I think I’ll have to do it again,” he goes on. “See if it rings any bells.”
Relief floods your body. You smile, just slightly. “Right,” you breathe. “Guess you will.”
He kisses you, softly, hand cupping your cheek gently. He touches you gingerly, like you’ll break, like you’ll pull away, like he’s a little scared. So you’re the one to lean into him, you’re the one to slide a hand onto the nape of his neck and pull him closer, grinning against his lips and giggling when he smiles too.
“You’re a bastard for that,” you tell him when you pull away, a bit breathlessly.
“For what?” he asks innocently.
You roll your eyes. “Pretending you didn’t remember.”
“Sorry,” he says, kissing you once more.
He takes your hand, starting to walk again, letting silence linger for just a second. He’s looking at the sand, smile fading away. He looks like he’s in deep thought, and you squeeze his hand. “You okay?”
He looks up at you and smiles just a bit. “Yeah,” he says. “Yeah. I’m just thinking… You know, erm… I don’t want to pressure you,” he tells you, his voice lowering as he stops again to face you fully. “I, er… I know the original plan was to - you know, go our separate ways after… after all this. And it’s… It’s a lot, I know -” He laughs softly. “Christ, I’m a lot, just with Aurora, and the theater, and…” He fades off, running a hand over his face. “Er… But yeah. I just… I wanna let you know that I’m not… pressuring you to stay, or anything… We can stick to the - the plan.”
“No,” you say immediately, and then feel a bit self-conscious. “I mean… I don’t want to. I really…” You give him a smile. “I really like you. And Aurora. And it’s a lot, yeah, but… I don’t care. I don’t mind. I love all of it. I -” You falter, then, “I mean - I like - I -”
He raises a brow at you.
So you bite your lip, then dive in headfirst. “I love you,” you say.
“Love you too,” he replies with a big smile, and he kisses you.
***
It’s hours later, now, and you’ve wandered into some restaurant by the beach.
The bar is loud, crowded, and thrumming with music in Portuguese. Somebody’s singing from a big stage in the back. Your hand is firmly in Harry’s, walking next to him through the mass of moving bodies. A warm breeze heavy with ocean air flows through huge open windows, colorful lights shining in the dark.
When you finally make it to the counter, Harry gestures vaguely at something on the wall to the bartender, and you point at the drink of the person next to you. You glance at each other, shrug, and watch as the bartender mixes and shakes up a bunch of mysterious liquids.
Your final result is bright blue, like the one the girl next to you just finished. Harry’s is pink and green. With laughs neither of you can hear over the noise, you clink your glasses against each other and take sips.
Harry’s nose wrinkles. “Sour,” you see him say.
Yours is extremely sweet, and you make an eh motion with your hand and hold it out to him. He takes it and gives you his, and you try his as he tries yours. Your nose must wrinkle like his did, because he grins and hands yours back.
You shake your head, though, and look around for someone who has a drink you’d actually like to have. When you spot someone downing a shot glass full of what looks like water but clearly isn’t, you point that out to the bartender along with two fingers.
A few shots later, you’re buzzing, dancing with Harry amid the mass of people on the dance floor. The music’s so loud, electrifying the air around you. It seems like you’re being shifted towards the front of the room, and before you know it, you appear to be on the raised platform all the way at the front.
Bright lights hit your face, making you giggle and squint. People start clapping, Harry spins you around, and everyone cheers. There’s a screen directly in front of you. You walk up to it, practically dragging Harry with you, and realize it’s a song bank - and there are microphones on the table next to it.
“Karaoke!” you shout at Harry.
He grins and starts flicking through the song choices. When you see one you like, you reach out and tap the screen, pointing at it. Harry laughs and nods excitedly, clicking it. Immediately, the music changes.
On cue, you and Harry come in.
“Yoooo, I’ll tell you what I want, what I really, really want -”
It’s not in Portuguese, but nobody seems to mind, and they give you rambunctious applause regardless. You and Harry can barely get the words out for how much you’re laughing and giggling at each other’s dance moves and crazy singing. He spins you around again, you spin him, both of you trip on the mic wires at least three times. As the song ends, he dips you, kisses your nose, and then stands up so both of you can take big bows.
You’re breathless by that point, and you stumble off the stage with Harry as someone else takes the mic. On some unsaid agreement, you both keep going out of the restaurant and back onto the beach towards your hotel.
With your fingers tangled in his and chests heaving, you walk all the way back to the hotel. It’s pretty close, and when you arrive, the two of you lean against the door and grin at each other, hearts still racing.
Harry kisses you, then, hand sliding against your cheek and lips smiling against yours. The wood of the door is cool against your back, and it’s not because of the hot Brazilian air that you’re warming up again.
He pulls his shoulder off the door, almost pinning you against it as your smiles fade and your kisses become more desperate. You want more, more, more; want him closer, closer - even closer - and with fumbling fingers you shed the clothes that separate you as you lurch towards the bed.
It’s warm, in Brazil, so warm, and you’ve never felt a greater thrill.
***
The next morning, after grins and kisses and coffee, the phone rings.
Harry glances at you, then picks it up.
“Hello?” he says. Then, “Yes, this is he.”
He’s quiet for a while. He fiddles with his lip.
“I know,” he says. “Right. Right, I know. Don’t worry… Yes, expect a call soon. Won’t be from me, no, but… No… Yes, of course, I… Fantastic. Great talking with you. Expect that call! Bye, bye now.”
He hangs up.
“Investor?” you ask.
He nods.
You open your mouth to say something, then stop.
“Don’t worry about it,” he tells you, starting to smile. “They’ll never remember. One call, that’s all. That wasn’t even the guy himself - it was his assistant. We’ll be buried under hundreds of other things to do. I’ve had to remind people, you know, even on plays that do well. They always forget.”
You’re not quite persuaded, but he comes over and squeezes your shoulder and says, “It’ll be alright” so convincingly that you can’t help but believe him. You nod, taking his hand, and let him lead you out to the balcony, where fruit and warm bread are waiting for you.
Over the next few weeks, only a couple of calls come in. Harry handles them, uses that same calming tone, and says basically the same thing each time: expect a phone call, sorry for the delay, don’t worry about it.
You sit back and distract your racing heart with the beautiful sights, sounds, and food.
***
Harry makes some killer pancakes. After living with him for months and months, you’ve had more than your fair share of his fluffy, buttery pancakes. And while you’d be the first to crown him the best pancake maker in New York, his pancake breakfasts have absolutely nothing on the Brazilian breakfasts you’ve had since you’ve gotten to Rio de Janeiro.
Nevertheless, it’s a few weeks later, and you’ve awoken to the scent of bacon.
“What are you doing?” you ask incredulously, following your nose to the small kitchenette in the hotel suite. “Pancakes!” Harry exclaims, flipping around to brandish his teeny frying pan at you.
“Oh, Harry,” you sigh, taking a tiny pancake from the pile anyway.
Harry turns back around to busy himself with his task. “Listen,” he begins seriously. “I’m aware of how good the food here is. We’re had right scrumptious meals here -” You giggle through a bite of pancake and interrupt, “You’re right scrumptious.”
“Shush,” Harry says, but you can see him dimpling from behind him. “What I mean to say is that I was bored, so don’t blame me for the American food.” You frown at his back. “Bored?” you echo.
You’ve hardly been sitting around doing nothing, you think at first, but then as you think about it more, you… kind of have. The two of you were on a good run the first few days, going out every day and finding a new sight to see. Three weeks in, though, it’s a lot more tempting to just stay in bed all day and lounge around in the sunshine.
“Yeah,” Harry replies now as he turns to face you. “I’m getting antsy.”
“Find an anteater.”
He pouts.
You smile apologetically at him and hold up a little pancake. “Delicious.”
“Thanks,” he says.
You bite your lip, leaning back in your chair as your brain slowly wakes up. “How about… a picnic?” you suggest. “We could go down to the beach again and bring a basket - make it all aesthetic and pretty!”
Harry points his spatula at you. “That’s the spirit!”
“You can pack the basket,” you say.
He frowns. “Maybe try a different spirit.”
“How about - I don’t pack it, and you pack it!”
“That’s… the same spirit.”
“I’ve never believed in ghosts anyway,” you tell him, and you stand up, sliding your plate into the sink. “Have fun!” you say, patting him on the chest as you pass him “And pack some fruits, Styles. Let’s stay healthy.”
“Let’s,” Harry echoes, grumbling, “as in let us. Let us pack the basket.”
“You’re such a gentleman,” you call.
He is, really, he is a gentleman, because he packs it despite your later offers to help and then presents you with a ginormous sun hat when you appear fully changed. You put it on, and when its brim droops over your forehead, you say, “Hey, it flops, just like all of your plays!”
“Oh, fuck off,” Harry scoffs, but he’s laughing so he can’t be too insulted.
It’s gorgeous by the water, unsurprisingly, and you feed each other strawberries and sip sparkling water while you chatter away about nothing. You drift closer and closer until you’ve forgotten all about the view of the sunset for strawberry sweet kisses, and you both decide to call it a day and head back for the hotel.
You see him fiddling with his phone as you step out of the bathroom, changed after your shower, and your smile dims a little as you realize what he’s thinking. “We should try again,” you tell him, and he looks up, looking conflicted.
You’re talking about Aurora, about calling her, because she hasn’t picked up the last twenty times you’ve tried. Harry’s talked to her nurses, who say she’s doing relatively well health-wise but not great with everything else. She misses them, the nurses say, but she’s still angry.
“Come on,” you say, plopping down next to him on the bed and gently sliding his phone out of his hands. You move slowly, giving him the opportunity to stop you, and then hand it to him before pressing the call button.
He gives you a smile. “Hundredth time’s the charm.”
And lo and behold - he’s right.
“You gotta come back,” Aurora says as soon as she picks up. “I had a dream about the little swan last night, Harry, you gotta come back! I need to know what happens!” Harry breathes an incredulous laugh and clears his throat.
“I - er, yeah, Ror, of course,” he says. “Soon.”
You pop into the camera view for a second, wiggling your fingers, and Aurora gives a shy smile. “Hi,” she says, sounding a little guilty. “Sorry for not… picking up.” Harry glances at you, and you reply, “Don’t worry about it, princess.”
“We’re still sorry,” Harry adds.
Aurora pouts, looking down, and mumbles, “Should be.”
“Just a few more weeks, Ror,” Harry tells her, his voice weak.
She huffs a little bit and then glances up again. She moves around a little bit, peering into the camera like she’s trying to look behind you. “Where are you guys, anyway?” Harry smiles and exclaims, “Brazil!”
Aurora still looks confused. “Well, where’s that?”
“Remember when we went to Disney World for your birthday?” Harry asks, and when Aurora nods, he goes on, “Right, well, it’s like if you went there, then kept going for a few hours until you heard Portuguese.”
Aurora blinks, then chirps, “Okay!”
“How’re you, princess?” Harry asks. “Any drama we should be aware of?”
“Oh, so much,” Aurora gushes. She starts her story, and as the air warms with her voice, Harry’s hand slides into yours and you begin to relax. Through the end of the phone call, you and Harry can barely keep the smiles off your face.
***
You stay in Brazil for a long time. After it’s been two weeks without a single call from any of the investors, you decide to pack it up. Back home, it’s totally quiet, like nothing ever happened. It’s still scary, though, and the plane ride back is mostly quiet. You’re cautious driving through town, peeking into the theater, greeting people as you walk into Harry’s apartment.
It only takes a look to agree on where to go first after dropping everything off in the apartment, and you’re at the hospital in no time with a huge bag of souvenirs. You’re both greeted with huge smiles and hugs all the way to Aurora’s room.
Aurora’s asleep when you walk in, and Harry gives you a bit of a nervous look before approaching and kneeling down beside her to gently place a kiss on her forehead. She wakes up slowly, blinking blearily before processing Harry in front of her and gasping and throwing her arms around his neck.
“Harry!” she squeals, hugging him tightly. With wide eyes, she looks up, then exclaims your name and you walk over to give her a hug of your own. “You’re back!” she says happily, glancing between the two of you excitedly.
“We sure are,” you tell her.
Harry nods. “We missed you, princess.”
“Missed you too,” Aurora replies.
You clear your throat and bring the small present from behind your back. “We have something for you,” you tell her, handing the little white bag to you. Aurora laughs delightedly, clapping her hands and crinkling the tissue paper inside before pulling out the gift.
“Oh…” she breathes. “Pascal!”
It’s not exactly Pascal, Rapunzel’s pet in Tangled, but it’s a little stuffed toy of a chameleon you found with Harry in some gift shop in Brazil and you figured Aurora would like him. “Told you I’d bring you a Pascal one of these days,” you say with a wink.
“I, of course,” Harry begins with a dramatic sigh, “am completely against this gift.”
Aurora breaks out in giggles.
“... So I had to get you something else,” Harry finishes. He hands her his own gift, a sparkly pink bag with two things inside. Aurora is enthralled with the delicate tiara, and Harry makes a whole production of crowning her princess of all of New York.
The second gift is a small snow globe, but glitter rains down on a beautiful beach scene rather than snow when Aurora flips it upside down, eyes wide with wonder. “I love it,” she says, voice a little quiet in awe.
“We won’t have to leave again,” Harry promises softly.
Aurora looks up, lowering the globe to her lap. “Please don’t,” she says.
Harry smiles a little, then squeezes her hand and stands up, sliding The Trumpet of the Swan off its spot on the table. “Hope you didn’t read any without us,” he sighs, settling down in his spot on the sofa.
Happily, you curl up next to him, just as pleased as Aurora to be continuing the story.
***
Back at the apartment the next day to finalize some paperwork, your phone begins to ring. It’s an unknown number. Glancing at Harry nervously, you pick it up and wander over to the window as the voice on the other end begins to talk.
Your heart drops as you realize what’s happening. It’s someone from another company, asking you to audition for a play they’re starting to work on. Apparently, someone had seen your performance in Fatigue and thought you were wonderful. They couldn’t believe you were working with such a shit producer, they said, and would you like to join their company?
“Yes!” you say immediately, a little too excitedly. “I mean - yes. Please. Thank you.”
They give you the details, and with a still racing heart, you turn around and see Harry, working on some papers at his desk, looking very confused. Your eyes widen. “Oh my God,” you say, realizing what you’d just done.
“You alright, love?” he asks, sounding a bit amused.
You clear your throat. “Um, I just agreed to audition for another play?”
His brows jump, and he comes around his desk to wrap you in a hug. “Bloody hell!” he laughs. “Congratulations! That’s great - did they say when auditions are? Is it close by? What theater?”
You sputter a laugh, surprised at his reaction, and start, “Well, I… I mean… Are you okay with this? Did you want me to stick with you?” Harry scoffs, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. You’re too good for me. My producing days are over.”
“Really?” you ask, startled.
He leans against the desk, shrugging slightly. “Well… yeah. I mean, my record hardly suggests greatness, you know? I’ll find something else.” He grins, wiggling his brows, and adds, “Maybe I’ll go into writing. I certainly know what to avoid.”
“That would be great!” you exclaim. “Harry Styles, writer-producer extraordinaire!”
“Damn right,” Harry tells you, and he kisses you. You lean into him, hand sliding into his hair, and he whispers, “This desk hasn’t been broken in yet.” You snicker, about to reply, when your hand grazes a stack of papers and you sigh, pulling away. Harry whines, puckering his lips and smooching at you.
“We have paperwork to do,” you tell him.
He pouts. “You’re no fun.”
“After,” you say, giving him one last kiss.
“Maybe we can multitask,” Harry muses, turning around anyway and starting to shuffle some papers. “It takes you about a million years to finish a document when I’m not distracting you,” you reply, stealing a pen from his cup.
“Reckon I just need practice,” he says as you collapse on the sofa. You sigh, smiling despite yourself as you click your pen, shuffle some papers, and get to work. “Sure, Styles,” you say.
***
Two nights later, you’re sitting on the floor in the hallway of the hospital.
Beside you, the vending machine hums lowly. It harmonizes with the fluorescent lights buzzing on the ceiling, which are so bright they make your head hurt even when you close your eyes. Every few minutes, the lights flicker just slightly. Just enough for you to notice.
Harry dusts his hands off, reaching up to toss his candy wrapper into the trashcan. Like yours, his legs are stretched out in front of him. His hands are folded in his lap, head rested against the wall behind him.
He nudges your toe with his foot, shifting to look at you. He looks tired. When you meet his eyes, he starts to smile, lips curving slowly until he’s full on grinning, dimpling at you and laughing just a little.
“What?” you ask, unable to stop yourself from laughing just a little too.
He shrugs. “Dunno.”
You hold up the wrapper from the candy bar you just ate, peering at it, and tell him, “I wonder if it’s possible to get a sugar rush at one in the morning.” Harry takes it from you and pushes it into the trashcan.
“If you eat the entire vending machine,” he says, “probably.”
“I’m tired,” you whisper.
“What happened to the sugar rush?”
You take his hand, a bit delirious, and flip it palm up in your lap. “You’re gonna have a long life,” you say softly, tracing a random line on his skin. You start at his wrist, and follow a few lines up to one of his rings. “And be very stylish,” you continue, spinning a ring around.
“Why, thank you,” Harry says.
You smile at him. “You’re welcome.”
Harry touches the bottom of your chin with his finger, gently pushing up, and press his lips to yours. You relax at his touch, eyelids fluttering shut as his hand slides to hold your cheek, supporting you, grounding you, giving you butterflies.
Aurora’s sleeping in her room. Harry finished reading The Trumpet of the Swan just before she fell asleep. Earlier, while she went through tests and played, you and Harry filled out the proper forms for the procedure she’d need in a few months. It won’t be an easy ride, but she’ll be alright. And sitting on the floor, head rested on Harry’s shoulder and hand entwined with his, you get the feeling you just might be alright, too.
~*~ and there she is!!! all done!!! i'm gonna admit this chapter took SO LONG - i'm pretty sure i finished the first two chapters in like less than a month and this one took me. five months. BUT i got it done and i hit my word goal and i'm super proud of myself! honestly i'm just glad i got it out lmao. but i do hope someone out there enjoyed it, and if u did, a reblog and some feedback would be absolutely splendid <3
thank you for reading!!!!
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youreacowgirllikeme · 4 years ago
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Tuesday: Crossing The River
note: here we go, part two of my 'A week with Chris' drabble series (part one here) again, COVID doesn’t exist bc this is my escape from reality
I wrote a bit more today. enjoy :)
words: 1.2 k
warnings: none
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(Monday, 8:33 pm)
Hi, this is Chris. Meet me tomorrow morning, 9:30 am, at NY City Hall. I’ll bring coffee, you bring your walking shoes. I’ll see you there.
+++
(Tuesday)
Getting up at 8 am wasn’t exactly your preference when you had a day off, but the way to City Hall took its time, especially considering the location of your apartment in Upper Manhattan.
You walked the short distance from the metro station, and when you arrived, Chris was already waiting for you. He was bundled up in a coat to fight off the chilly morning air. You had never seen him in anything else than his work attire so at first, you were a bit perplexed, it was almost like witnessing an animal in the wild. Still, he looked rather cute, but what looked even better were the steaming cups of coffee he was holding.
“Good morning.” You greeted him, stifling a yawn and grabbing the offered drink. You gulped down two huge sips, without caffeine you weren’t a good company at all in the morning.
“Not an early riser, huh?” Chris laughed. “Don’t worry, my plans for today will wake you up in no time.”
“So, where are we going?” You asked, feeling slightly more present now, the coffee and fresh air had done the trick.
“You and I.” Chris said. “Are going to cross the East River. We have this really nice thing called the Brooklyn Bridge, maybe you’ve heard of it.”
You rolled your eyes at him, he was being rather cheeky considering the early hour.
“Very funny. Doesn’t that take forever.” You groaned. Walking wasn’t your number one hobby, and from where you were standing now, Brooklyn looked like it was an eternity away.
“It takes about an hour, each way.” Chris replied, and as he saw your shocked expression, he continued “Come on, that’s no distance at all! We can take a break once were on the other side, and then we go back. The way back is much more impressive because your facing the skyline.“
So he was planning on doing both ways. Great. Accepting your faith, you quickly emptied your coffee, silently praying that the walking shoes you had chosen were as comfortable as they looked.
+++
The walk was actually really enjoyable. There was soft spring breeze in the air and the sun was shining, creating bright reflections on the East River below you. You took several stops to take pictures, and Chris even reluctantly agreed to pose for a selfie.
You were talking animatedly about everything and anything, falling into a slow, but steady pace next to each other. Chris was still slightly annoyed about having to take the entire week off, but you tried to cheer him up.
“Look on the bright side, you wouldn’t be able to enjoy this beautiful day in such great company if you had to do the show tonight.” You joked, and he smiled down at you.
“I have to admit, the company is pretty good.”
Your heart did a little jump at his words.
+++
After fifty minutes, you arrived at the Brooklyn-sided exit of the bridge. Chris led you down the pedestrian walkway and around some corners, until you arrived in a beautiful park located directly at the waterfront.
“And this.” Chris exclaimed. “Is what we came for.”
You knew exactly what he meant. Stretched out before you was the most beautiful, picturesque view of the Manhattan skyline you had ever seen.
“This looks like a damn postcard.” You whispered, more to yourself, but Chris heard you anyway, laughing in agreement.
“It’s the best perspective you’ll get. I love the skyline; every building has a story.” He replied, looking across the river with an almost wistful expression on his face.
“Come on then, Mr. Tour Guide, I walked all the way here, now I want to hear some of those stories.”
“You’re quite demanding.” He chuckled. “Alright. You see the grey, slim one over there.” Your eyes followed to where his finger was pointing.
“That’s 8 Spruce Street.“ he explained. "They built it in 2011, there are apartments in there, offices, even a school and a kindergarten. Imagine, the kids don’t even need to leave the house.” He grinned at his own joke.
You studied the skyscraper, and the way the sunlight got reflected by its countless windows. “It’s beautiful.”
Chris shrugged. “To me, it’s cold. It has no personality, no history. If you look a bit more to the left, the white one with the green roof? That’s the Woolworth building, it got built in 1913. Back then, the owner paid the whole 13,5 million bucks for the project in cash, imagine that. It’s neo-gothic, if we were closer I could show you all the little details on the facade. See, that’s the kind of architecture I like. I hate how they’re plastering the city with those soulless glass towers. But I guess that’s the course of time.”
Both of you were silent for a second, and you looked at Chris before bursting into an uncontrolled fit of giggles.
“Oh my god, you just sounded like such an old man, I am so sorry.” You snickered, trying to stop laughing.
Chris gave you a hard glare, and for a moment you felt dread in your stomach, fearing that you might have offended him.
“Oh my god, Chris, I’m so-“
He grinned at you. “Gotcha. Come on, how about the old man buys you some ice cream before we head back?”
“Ice cream in March? You’re mad.”
+++
“Oh my God, Y/N, stop nagging, we’re almost there.” Chris called over his shoulder to where you were dragging several feet behind him.
“I can’t.” You whimpered. “It hurts.”
Your originally comfortable walking shoes had turned into an absolute nightmare about halfway across the bridge. You were sure that by now there were several blisters on your feet, every step was painful like hell and you still had about half a mile to go.
“We can’t just stop here.” Chris groaned, looking at you with a mix of annoyance and pity. “I parked my car at City Hall, can you make it there somehow?”
“I don’t know.” You said through clenched teeth as you tried to take another step.
“There’s only one way then.” Chris sighted heavily, taking a step closer and crouched down in front of you.
“What are you waiting for, hop on.” He said.
You almost couldn’t believe what he was implying.
“You want to take me piggyback?”
"Do you have a better idea?“
You didn’t, and so you carefully climbed onto his back, trying to ignore the funny looks the other pedestrians were giving you. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you were surprised how broad and muscular they felt.
Your initial embarrassment about the situation quickly faded as Chris continued to talk to you as if everything was perfectly normal, something you were incredibly grateful for.
He carried you effortlessly, his steps didn’t waver even once. You were impressed and also a little bit turned on by his strength, trying to ignore the warm tingling feeling at where his huge hands were holding onto your legs.
+++
“Alright, here we are. Get some rest, and I’ll text you again tonight.” Chris spoke as he pulled up in front of your apartment building.
“Thanks again, for the ride, and well, everything.” You said, still a bit embarrassed about what had happened earlier.
Chris just shrugged, giving you a warm smile.
“Don’t worry, it was no big deal.”
You spent the rest of your evening cooling your blisters, excited about what the plan for tomorrow would be, and even more to see Chris again.
to be continued…
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plush-anon · 3 years ago
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You worked at joanns? 😍 dream job
In all fairness, a large part (and I do mean a LARGE part) of why I enjoyed working at Joanns were the managers.
The store manager was a guy named Richard, one of maybe two or three men who worked there total, and this man was practically a saint as far as retail goes.
This was a man who would, with no hesitation, get on the floor to help customers, or hop on the registers to check customers' purchases out, or pop on to the cutting counter to cut fabric. He remembered the names of regulars, would chat and smile while getting shit done, and was the type of guy to speak slowly and softly when we had shitstains explode at us measly peons for not giving them the full cost of an item back in a return (ex $200) when they used a coupon to purchase an item to begin with and only paid a portion of the cost (ex. $150). No joke, this actually happened to me on Black Friday with a man who stood at about 6 foot with a crewcut and a snarl (the military Karen, if you would)
Richard, of course, stood at about 6 foot 5 inches, and reminded me of a ginger grizzly bear in some ways. Very few customers continued to be assholes when they asked to speak to the manager and Richard came over, smiling wide. He encouraged us to chat with the customers while we worked the cutting counter - it was a good way to learn about what they were making, encouraged general conversation and lent itself to a better environment for everyone, worker and customer alike, so we weren't just awkwardly standing in silence the whole time.
The assistant store manager (aka his second in command - we had two other assistant managers, but she wielded more power than both of them) was Farrah, and she was basically Cool Wine Aunt, but with weed. She was open about smoking it (but not in a pressure-the-underlings kind of way, but more of a 'yeah, it calms me down' kind of way) but never on the clock, and was just really chill in general. She was also a 'jump on the registers' type of manager, and on occasion would take the closing staff out to get a drink from the texmex place next to us in the shopping center, and cover one for each of us - particularly during the Holiday Clusterfuck of October, November, and December (their Frozen Kahlua Mudlslide was my alcoholic drink of choice - they also had these spicy chicken strips that were amazing with it, but I digress).
Both of them were amazing people who would support and back us up without hesitation (if they weren't dealing with corporate or stock trucks coming in), and both routinely worked 15 to 20 hours UNPAID overtime during the Holiday Clusterfuck so that we the underlings could get more hours without Corporate jumping up our ass about going over budget.
They were also refreshingly upfront in our monthly meetings about profits and meeting them, as well as why company policy was the way it was, and how to work within the boundaries so we got more hours. One of my favorite moments was when they said the fabric sales essentially covered their own cost (production and delivery); the rest of the cheap crap in the store was what covered our paycheck and electricity, so hawk it as much as you can if you want extra in the bank (paraphrasing here, but that's not that far off what they actually said tbh).
With some Karen-y exceptions, the customers were honestly pretty chill. There were two women from a nearby church who bought well over 200 yards of cut fleece to make no-sew fleece blankets for children and the poor in December (it took forever to do, but they were so cheerful about it and told some funny anecdotes in between, kept the counter clear as soon as they were cut, etc. Took them three carts to haul everything to the register XD).
There was the slew of quilters making everything from baby blankets to anniversary gifts to quilts for their grandkids attending the local university that they could wear to football games in the colder weather, while still showing team pride. They always bought quarters and eighths and the end of the bolt for half price, digging thru our remnants bin for something they might have missed they could get for half price. They always talked about what they were working on, and spoke in great detail on their kids or cousins or niblings or grandkids. I saw so many pictures on phones, in wallets, and they loved them to absolute pieces.
There were cosplayers making their first costume to comicon, halloween goers trying their hand at making their own outfits, and a few furries making custom suits for order or just updating their own personal outfit. There were the usual school and church Christmas plays that needed costumes, and folks making custom table runners and place settings for family holiday meals.
One notable young man bought out 30+ yards of our 65" inch wide bolt felt for JEWELRY projects he was making as a part of his business and as a part of his art program (you can major in art with a concentration in jewelry making, and he was using it for that). He didn't leave a card, but the pictures he showed us were STUNNING.
We had a few elderly mothers come in with their daughters, to pick out fabrics so they could make their own wedding dresses, or quinceanera outfits, or veils; they showed us the patterns they had, or the pictures they were basing the designs off of, and all of them were STUNNING. (One came back in with the finished dress in the bag, this intricately beaded poofy dress that had to have taken days, hot pink and shiny).
We had local restaurant owners pop in for re-upholstery projects and curtains and vinyl; same with teachers and deck dads and furniture restoration workers that would gush about the design, what they had planned. Some would bicker with their spouses on the pattern, but it felt good-natured on the whole.
We had some elderly men come in to peer over our sewing machines - "How much it run for? My wife's birthday is coming up and her old machine's about done, and I want to surprise her. She had a Singer, but she hates the electronic screens on some of these newer ones, they hurt her eyes." - and moms coming in to sew some custom bed sheets for their kids - "My son really likes the new My Little Pony show, but he's a little shy about it. Do you think the blue's okay? Only he like yellow more, but they don't have any back there and he doesn't MIND blue really but - Actually scratch that, how wide is the fabric? My pattern says it needs to be at LEAST 22 inches wide, does it say on the box?" - and people coming up with some WILD craft ideas that were always a delight to hear them gush about - "So this MAY seem crazy, but I can turn these plastic pumpkin trick-or-treat pails into SNOWMEN heads with felt like this. We fill them with treats for the kids since we don't have a fireplace and they like it fine, but someone said I should sell these on Etsy and people really like them! But I've run out of pumpkins, and you have NO idea how happy I am that you guys still have some left."
The group we had to work with was also pretty crafty; a few were chronic call-outs, some a bit lazy, some perpetually done-with-this-nonsense, but we were mostly on the same page on shift, and all of us were crafty as heck. The employee discount was a blessing AND a curse, lemme tell you.
Stock was the best part, for me. Hours before the store opened at 9 AM, we would rip open the boxes and stuff everything onto the shelves, organizing anything the closing shift missed the night before along the way, updating new stickers or shuffling pegs over for new product arrangement, etc. We could listen to music or podcasts as we worked, and I ended up impressing some of them bc of how fast I tore through everything some mornings (the music definitely helped out there).
I was actually about to be promoted to assistant manager after 6 months, but then I got my job with the university, and they had federal health benefits AND dental, so... yeah, no contest there. Richard actually laughed when I told him I'd been hired at the university and was giving my two week notice, since it meant he didn't have to do the slew of paperwork that accompanied new assistant manager hires. He congratulated me on the job, especially the health benefits - he said that was a perk worth leaving any job here for. I nearly cried with relief that he wasn't mad.
He and Farrah chipped in and got me a small music box that plays Man of La Mancha's Dream the Impossible Dream on my last day. It still sits on my desk at work.
It was honestly my favorite retail job out of the bunch I've suffered through. Surprising at first, since I initially received a rejection email bare HOURS after my interview with Farrah, but about a month later (as I trawled endlessly through interview after interview, desperate for anything those first few months ), I got a call back from them asking if I was still interested (which I was, bc hey a job!). They remembered me specifically bc I had missed my bus to the interview, called ahead to let them know I would be late, then walked the whole way there in the rain to get there. (It was only about a mile and a half away, so not a terrible journey, but flooding is an issue in our flat-ass city; I looked like a drenched afghan hound holding a useless umbrella, so enjoy that imagery).
They were particularly impressed by the calling-ahead part.
Unfortunately, both of them ended up moving on to different paths over the year after I left - apparently they had been friends with benefits (? I say hesitantly, since I ran into one of my coworkers at an art show later on and she spilled the beans there - she was a bit flighty in nature though, and got caught up in gossip a LOT, so who knows. Lovely brocade custom projects though), and his ex girlfriend had called corporate on them and got both fired.
I think Farrah came back some time later, but the damage was done after that - the new manager came in and operated SOLELY to corporate policy. A LOT went to pieces in terms of store cleanliness, order, and general camaraderie after that - the new fabric counter folks look and sound dead inside, and barely interact with customers (not even a 'whatcha making' in passing, which is kind of sad - the stories I got helped to pass the time, and kept me from using up all of my Set Conversation Phrases for customers that actually WOULD leave us standing in silence). Corporate also stopped some of the smaller store policies that made our job easier and gave the customers a little something extra (the 'end-of-the-bolt' discount - if, after the customer orders say, 2 yards of fabric on the bolt, and there's say, a half yard "remnant" left on the bolt, we can sell them the remnant for half-price. A LOT of quilters LOVED this, and we did too, since it saved us from filling out the remnant tag and printing a sticker later on).
Just goes to show how important good management is in a business; especially when it can kick a store previously part of the top 50 stores in the NATION (while being a medium store at that - smaller place, NOT Hobby Lobby size like the Large stores) to something much less pleasant. I could be rose-goggling the situation thought - retail is still retail, no matter how nice some aspects are - but it still sticks with me as to how good he experience was even taking into account that it WAS minimum wage retail.
Food for thought, lads, food for thought.
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lilydalexf · 4 years ago
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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.
Interview with Marasmus
Marasmus only has a handful of fics left at Gossamer, but you can find more X-Files fics at AO3 (as finisterre). Some of my favorites of her stories I've recced here before, including one of the most clever fics you could read, Cellphone (here at AO3), and the lovely, London-set A Candle for Katherine (here at AO3, bonus commentary at LJ). Big thanks to Marasmus for doing this interview.
Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?
Mine, yes, older XF in general, no — some of that stuff is amazing. Though I wonder how well fandom operates now there is not a plethora of rec sites. I know of yours and one more Tumblr blog and that’s it.  I find it really difficult to find good stories in any fandom unless someone whose taste maps to mine recommends something.
What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?
I look back on it fondly, but it was one of the first things that really hammered it home to me that every grouping throughout life follows the pattern of school.
A lot of people are really talented and funny and kind. Then there are absolute ego-rampaging nightmares who act like lady bountiful in public but do cruel things in private, or chuck their toys out of the pram at the least provocation.
And like school, fandom brings together a disparate group of people who you’re friendly with, but once you leave, the ones you stay in touch with are your friends.
Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?
Thank God.
I watched the show pre-widespread internet and mostly when I had almost no money. I didn’t have regular internet access until the third season, and that was only at my incredibly conservative workplace. I didn’t get home internet access until midway through season six. You couldn’t download episodes easily, you couldn’t stream, you just had to wait until it aired overseas. I decided I didn’t care if I was spoiled and that worked for me. In fact for some particularly annoying episodes, I was glad.
I was a newsgroup and mailing list sort of person. Never really did message boards unless a newsgroup counts, though I had a Haven account.
What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?
Mostly, how talented people are. I know some are now professional writers, but so many people who didn’t do it as anything but a hobby were also amazing.
What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?
I always liked science fiction, oddness and urban legends, so it was kind of made for me. But it was the relationship between Mulder and Scully that kept me around, and after season six, it was the fandom that kept me around. I loved Scully in particular, cos let’s be honest, Mulder can be kind of a twerp at times.
What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?
I hung out on alt.tv.xfiles.analysis (a newsgroup), which was one of the smartest boards I’ve ever been on. The threads were full of well-read, erudite people. That led to a site which collated reviews of XF episodes. They mentioned alt.tv.xfiles.creative, and I got there the summer after Gethsemane, which was pretty optimal timing.
I’d take floppy disks into conservative workplace and quietly download the most gloriously filthy fanfic onto them for reading at home on my ancient second-hand Mac.
After that I joined Scullyfic, a mailing list, which was a lovely place to hang out for a while, and got stories through a couple of other mailing lists.
What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?
Like my relationship to ice hockey: glad that activity exists and that some people enjoy it, but not watching and not involved myself.
Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?
Reading, yes, and writing the odd bit of feedback, but any other fandom involvement didn’t really take. I’ve never found a bunch of people I liked as well as I liked some of the people in XF.
Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?
I am usually more interested in female characters than male ones (the Doctor, Mulder and Jack O’Neill notwithstanding), which is why I only read a bit of m/m slash. I usually develop a perverse dislike for any woobie the fandom loves.  
Some favourites are: Samantha Carter and Jack O’Neill, Granny Weatherwax, Furiosa, everyone from The Good Place, Donna Noble, Sarah Jane Smith, Martha Jones and Yasmin Khan, Maia from The Goblin Emperor, Cordelia Naismith and Miles Vorkosigan, General Leia Organa, Rey and Finn, and lately all of The Old Guard, even Booker...
I like nerds, pining, best friends discovering feelings for each other, second chances, redemption narratives, people being sneaky for good ends and stoics who stay stoic through all kinds of misery, only to crack and start crying when they get a happy ending.
Basically, you know Eleanor at the end of the Emma Thompson Sense and Sensibility? That.
Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?
No. I had about four years there where I made up stories about Mulder and Scully on any commute where I’d forgotten a book, but that’s gone now. I watched two episodes of the revival, but it wasn’t for me.
Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?
I occasionally wander in and read a bit on AO3, but nothing that deals with anything past season seven. Not interested in William, not interested in domestic fiction, not even interested in post-col any more, which was 100% my crack during XF fandom days. I did read By the Dim and Flaring Lamps [Lilydale note: by @sunflowerseedsandscience] earlier this year. Love a bit of AU historical.
I read lots of different fandoms, though I am between intense enthusiasms at the moment, which always feels a bit odd.
Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?
Yes, but they’re all about 20 years old. Is there such a thing as fandom classics any more?  There used to be a litany of stories that ‘everyone should read’. I wonder how well they hold up now.
I think there are waves of writers who come into a fandom and then leave again: I think I was part of a second wave, with the first wave being Mustang Sally, RivkaT, Karen Rasch, Lydia Bower, Nascent etc.
Then there must’ve been a third wave for the revival (and mini-waves in between). I don’t know that group of writers, so I am probably leaving out people who are really good.
One of my favourite Scully voices is Five Years and One Night [Lilydale note: by Shalimar], because of the contrast between her inner monologue as written and how little she actually says.
I really like quieter, thoughtful authors like Michelle Kiefer, Cecily Sasserbaum, Scullysfan, Cofax, Anjou, Maria Nicole, Kipler.  Love everything Kel ever wrote.
At one point there were also about three authors called Rachel who were knockout. I like to think Rachel Howard is writing professionally because it’s a waste of talent if she’s not. Rachel Anton had a crazy gift for pacing and wrote a good Krycek.
I really liked Branwell’s strange AU novels, which riff off The Field Where I Died (a wretched episode but so much good writing came from it.) [Lilydale note: Condemned to Repeat It by Branwell is a really long story involving The Field Where I Died.]
Everyone who is reccing other people’s stuff here is also a good writer. (and their taste in recs is — mostly — excellent): http://www.thebasementoffice.com/museaxfnet/museans/TitlesAF.html
What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?
I like The Flexible Concept of Tomorrow. I loved trying to work out the timelines. I like the one about airships and cross-dressing which only exists on my iPhone and in my imagination right now.
Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?
Only an AU, if ever. I am completely at sea with canon.
Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?
In my head. Mostly AUs. Everyone has daemons! It’s an airship! They’re exploring space! It’s mediaeval Slovenia!
Most of my creativity is sucked away by work. Which is good I suppose, as writing fanfic never paid my Netflix subscription.
Where do you get ideas for stories?
Reading long-form journalism and non-fiction books.  
What's the story behind your pen name?
Well, I changed mine. The first one was picked out of a magazine article about Branwell Bronte, and I liked the shape of the word. Then I got to feel uncomfortable with it because it was a real illness that made people suffer. The current one comes from the shipping forecast when I was a kid.
Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?
No, and also absolutely not. Over my dead body. Over YOUR dead body.
Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?
I took my stories off Gossamer but I don’t remember why. They’re on AO3 now and there are probably stray copies on some archives out there.
Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?
I have made all of these mistakes. All of ‘em.
— On no account offer unsolicited concrit. In fact, do not provide concrit EVEN IF THE PERSON ASKS FOR IT, unless you know them reasonably well and it’s in private.
— Avoid the wank. If you have the perfect riposte to something awful, write it and file it to drafts for two days. If you still want to send it after that, godspeed.
— Write anything you want, and when you start keep going. You can edit later.
— Never put any story into the public sphere unless you’ve had a second pair of eyes on it, preferably the eyes of someone who is willing to say “are you SURE about that?”
Finally, just have fun. Being in the grip of love of story is a wonderful thing, and you never know how long it will last.
(Posted by Lilydale on September 29, 2020)
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whenisitenoughtrees · 4 years ago
Note
If you're still doing the DVD commentary thing: from your fic 'just drowning another day', from 'And Janus is saying something, something loud and urgent' to 'How much he never bothered to learn'? If it's too long then just the most interesting parts/the one you like the most! (this is one of my fave fics btw <3)
i am absolutely still doing the dvd commentary thing and also i love this part so here we go
dvd commentary
the point in just drowning another day
commentary under the cut!
And Janus is saying something, something loud and urgent, but his voice rings and echoes and Patton can’t understand a word of it.
i’ve never actually been sure how well this came across, but janus’ voice is echoey and stays that way because patton’s hearing is different as a frog
So he closes his eyes and stops fighting it. There is a single, gut-wrenching lurch, and his hands hit the bedspread as he fumbles for balance, and then everything is silent. He should open his eyes, should face the music, but he doesn’t want to see Janus’ expression, whether it be anger or fear or disgust or scorn. And he doesn’t want to see the mess he’s surely made of his room, the destruction, like last time, doesn’t want to open his eyes and find that he’s looming over everything else, that he’s cracked his ceiling and crushed his bed.
patton isn’t thinking clearly here, or he would realize that there’s no indication that he’s cracked his ceiling or crushed his bed, both of which he would definitely have felt. and he’s definitely not thinking clearly about what janus’ reaction is going to be, but he’s internalized a lot of harmful thinking about his transformation; essentially, he’s the one who sees it as awful and scary, so he’s projecting that onto janus
“Oh,” Janus says. His voice is still oddly echoey, and Patton can’t interpret his tone at all. “Oh. Well. Ah, I totally expected this. Definitely. Um. Oh, gosh.”
Is he flustered? Surely, that can’t be right. He’s pretty sure that Janus doesn’t do  flustered. But he has to know, now, has to look, so he opens his eyes.
janus absolutely does flustered because he is secretly a dork and a disaster and patton is probably the absolute cutest thing he’s ever seen
i didn’t get to describe patton other than calling him green bc patton doesn’t know anything beyond that but. i need y’all to know that he’s still got little glasses perched on his face. and also that his eyes do the heart pupil thing. and also he is literally so small, like, tiny, and janus is absolutely right to coo over him
He expects to be looking down. Instead, he finds himself looking up. It is Janus that towers over him, rather than the other way around, Janus that towers over him with unmitigated shock written on his face. Patton blinks, just to be sure that he isn’t seeing things, and as he does, his brain helpfully provides him with a million other things that are wrong with this picture; the ceiling, for instance, is miles above him, and his bed is as vast as an ocean.
He tries to speak, tries to ask what’s going on, but all that emerges from his mouth is a shrill squeak. He attempts to stand, then, or at least sit up, but every effort sends him sprawling on all fours, his limbs clunky and uncoordinated and unfamiliar. His panic mounts as he finds himself unable to do much of anything at all, and he flails, trying to attain some amount of control.
do you know that video of that little squeaky frog? that is the sound patton’s making. just, the cutest little squeak you could possibly imagine
it would probably be more cute if he weren’t panicking over the fact that he doesn’t know how to control his body. he was already feeling disconnected from himself bc of the depression, and suddenly finding himself in a new shape... isn’t helping with that
“Oh gosh, okay,” Janus says, and leans down. “I know this is scary, but you’re fine, I swear. Actually, honestly swear. You’re going to be absolutely fine.”
janus is completely out of his depth but he’s trying his best. his assurances are completely genuine, if a little bit clumsy, mainly because he hasn’t spent enough time with patton to know the best way to go about this
Everything clicks then, and Patton goes still, staring at his own limb stretched out in front of him, long and thin and green and four-toed. He’s a frog, he realizes. A tiny frog. His whole body feels so odd, so different, out of place and completely foreign, and it’s because he’s a frog. Not a weird, giant, humanoid frog monster, but an actual frog.
headcanon time: patton turned into a giant frog during pof because it was an outburst of overwhelming emotion. he turns into a littol frog here bc he’s been overwhelemed by how much he’s repressing-- it’s the difference between letting it all out and holding it all in
He focuses back on Janus and squeaks again. For some reason, Janus’ right cheek reddens.
it’s because patton’s adorable and janus is gay
“Fuck,” he mutters, glancing away, and Patton would chide his use of language, but he’s pretty sure by now that he can’t talk. “Okay, um, you’re not cute at all, so don’t even ask. But this is definitely not normal, and it will definitely last for a very long time. Accidental transformations always do.” He frowns, tilting his head slightly before shaking it. “You know what I mean. Which is to say that I myself am occasionally a snake, so I know what I’m talking about.”
this is actually a part that i think i would change if i were to edit this fic again. i meant janus’ slip into backwards speech to be an indicator of stress and also that he’s feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the situation, but idk, it just kinda feels a little clunky to me now. but yeah, that’s what this is
He blinks. He didn’t know that Janus could actually transform into a snake, though now that he reflects on it, he supposes that there’s no reason why not. It makes him wonder just how much more he doesn’t know about him. How much he never bothered to learn.
patton has a tendency to blame himself for things, and he’s definitely been feeling guilty about how he used to treat the dark sides. that comes up earlier in the fic, and this is a reprise of that: he’s mad at himself for not knowing more about janus (even though, to be fair, janus hardly goes out of his way to share personal information in the first place. usually.)
but he’s got plenty of time to learn from here on out
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ineffably-good · 4 years ago
Text
Prompt: Stars
A day late on this one -- from the Good Omen’s 30th Anniversary Celebration theme list. 
Read the whole set here on AO3. 
--------
 It was a peaceful Sunday morning at the breakfast table, with Aziraphale reading the book reviews in the paper and Crowley frowning away at his phone. Peaceful, that is, until the silence was broken by Crowley swearing violently and dropping his phone like it bit him.
“What on earth?” Aziraphale asked, startled into spilling a few drops of his English Breakfast tea on his vintage dressing gown. He tutted disapprovingly. No one should raise a fuss on a Sunday morning. It just wasn’t civilized.
“They found it!” Crowley growled. “I can’t believe they found it.”
“Found what?”
Crowley sighed dramatically and dropped his head down onto the table with a thunk, and then just stayed there. “Nothing. Nevermind.”
The angel set down his teacup firmly and reached over to lay a hand on Crowley’s arm. “Tell me what’s going on.”
Crowley mumbled something unintelligible into the tabletop.
Aziraphale cleared his throat and prepared to sound stern. “Anthony J. Crowley, you’re beginning to worry me. Please sit up and talk to me or I’ll be forced to … take steps.”
Crowley wasn't sure what that meant but he was smart enough to recognize that he wasn't likely to enjoy it. He sat up reluctantly.
“All right, all right,” he said. “I’m up.”
The angel examined him closely. “What’s got you so upset?”
Crowley picked up his phone, stabbed at it a few times, and handed it to Aziraphale.
Aziraphale hated reading things on tiny phone screens, but nonetheless he pulled out his miniscule reading glasses, settled them onto his nose, and took a close look.
“Project Pale Red Dot?” he read, looking up at Crowley for confirmation. “This is the problem?”
Crowley nodded, so he kept reading.
“Well, this is rather an inspiring story, actually,” Aziraphale said. “A team of scientists has found the first potentially habitable planet, and it’s not impossibly far away! Proxima B, what a nice name. And it’s – oh.” He paused. “It’s in the Alpha Centauri system.”
“Yes it is.” Crowley said. “The bastards.”
Aziraphale stared at him as if he’d grown two heads. “I’m afraid you’re going to have to elaborate, my dear.”
“’s mine, angel!” Crowley exclaimed. “Remember how I used to try to get you to go to Alpha Centauri with me every once in a while?”
Aziraphale sniffed. “I remember you being rather persistent about the whole idea when Armageddon was looming, yes.”
“Not just then, though,” Crowley said. “I brought it up right after the first world war, and again after the second. One in the 14th century too. Maybe another time or two also – I forgot.”
Aziraphale began to get a hint of an idea. “Are you saying that you have actually been there?”
He had honestly always thought the demon was kidding.
Crowley frowned, displeased. “What, did you think I was making things up? Of course I’ve been there. Wouldn’t have asked you to go, otherwise.”
“And – and –” Aziraphale’s brain scrambled to keep up. “Are you saying you have some sort of prior claim to this planet they’ve discovered?”
Crowley slammed both hands down on the table for emphasis. “Proxima B is MINE, angel. Mine. I’ve been setting it up for centuries. And now these nosy little scientists have ‘discovered’ it, and put it on the list as target number one if humans ever have to relocate. To my planet.”
Aziraphale knew he was supposed to share in the outrage, but his brain was still loitering several steps behind. “Setting it up?” he said. “What does that mean?”
Crowley froze for a moment. How much to reveal? He’d had a hand in the creation of the triple star system Alpha Centauri, and had always had a soft spot for the smallest of its suns and its accompanying little planet. He’d visited it from time to time when he just needed a break from Earth. Proxima B was a pretty place, with big rocks and liquid water, and it was warm enough for sunning himself in snake form, and if over time he’d seeded it with some plants and maybe set up a structure or two, what was wrong with that? 
It was merely a hobby at first, but over time he came to see it differently – as their lives got more and more dangerous, he started to see Proxima B as a potential backup plan for the both of them, a place they could go if it all went pear shaped. And so he’d done his best to begin making the place habitable for the two of them. He’d built a vault of sorts there and filled it with things they might need -- some of his favorite artworks there when they no longer fit in with his apartment, and put in a cache of books and wine.
It was foolish, and he’d never really expected to even tell Aziraphale about it unless an absolute catastrophe occurred, but if Crowley was one thing, he was a demon who liked to be prepared.
He came back to his senses and realized Aziraphale was waiting patiently for an answer.
“Oh, well,” he said, tongue tied, “I started thinking that we might need – someday, you know, if things went off – a backup plan, somewhere to go. And it’s a nice little planet. You’d like it there.”
Aziraphale got the same look on his face that he had had when the former Sister Mary Loquacious had waxed rhapsodic about the antichrist’s cute little toesy-wosies. Inordinately fond.
“Am I to understand,” he said gently, “that you set up an entire planet for our habitation?”
“Well, not the whole planet,” Crowley said gruffly, his cheeks heating up under the angel’s regard. “But a part of it, yeah. Took some things there in case we ever need them. Built a storage thingy. To, uh, store stuff. Just in case.”
He studied the table in front of him and did not look up.
“My dear,” Aziraphale said, “what a lovely thought. I am amazed and astonished that you did such a thing. Quite romantic, in its own way.”
“Ruined now, though,” Crowley said sullenly. “Stupid astronomers and their stupid telescopes, messing up our stupid escape plans.”
Aziraphale laughed gently. “Dearest,” he said, “it’s not like they can go there. They’ve simply worked out that it exists from measuring wobbles in the star’s orbit. It’s still –” he checked the phone again – “25.2 trillion miles away. I think your world is safe for now.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Crowley grumbled. “But they’ll be there someday. It was supposed to be for us.”
Aziraphale came around the table and pulled Crowley up into standing and wrapped his arms around him. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But I think we still have a few centuries of having it all to ourselves.”
“We?” Crowley asked hopefully.
“We,” the angel confirmed. “How about you show me around this world of yours? Quick miracle there and back? It’s only four light years after all, if we combine our efforts we can manage that without any undue trouble. Be back in time for tea.”
Crowley brightened up at that. “You want to see it?”
“I absolutely do!” Aziraphale answered. “Now, tell me – what should I bring? What’s the weather like there? Will I need an overcoat? A muffler? And how many thermoses of tea do you think I should bring? Oh, there is so much to decide…”
Crowley’s brain relaxed at the familiar sound of Aziraphale puttering around preparing them for an outing, just as he had for a thousand adventures in the past. He realized he’d been holding his breath for rather a long time and let it out in a swoop, feeling the tension seep out of his spine and a feeling of contentment settle in its place.
He’d see about wiping Proxima B off of their star maps later, when they returned. But first it was time for an expedition. Sabotage could wait. 
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utouchmycookie · 4 years ago
Text
Open Your Eyes
Chapter One: Flash
I (utouchmycookie) am the author of this piece. I don’t own the characters or locations, but the idea is mine. Also, I am ignoring my boring class by putting this here.
Flash walks into AcaDec expecting the heated glares of the girls, at the very least. Being verbally berated and kicked off the team by unanimous decision at the most likely. He doesn't even know what to think of at the most. Social death outside of the popular jocks (who have sway, but not nearly as much as they would at non-preppy need schools) seems like a possible outcome.
None of this happens. He does a double-take. Apparently there are no sides, which leaves the options that a) nobody gives a fuck (possible, but unlikely), or b) she said nothing (he'd figure this to be unlikely, but apparently it was entirely possible). She doesn't bother to look up at him entering the room, earbuds in and hair shielding the notebook she's scratching away in. Ned Leeds gives him the most dangerous look he's ever seen the happy go lucky President of the Computer Science, Ethical Hacking, Cybersecurity, IT, and Coding Clubs give; Michelle Jones manages to scare any sense of relief he'd mustered right off as she glances over the top of her book at him, and her glance says she knows, but the perfect expressionless deadpan and the way she almost immediately turns back to her book without giving him any further insight to what her thoughts are sends him into a horror and terror related trauma induced break down. Yes, he knows that's not a thing or the least bit grammatically correct but it's exactly what was headed for him.
He wishes she would do anything - scream at him in anger, sob in heartbreak, curse hysterically in hurt, even sigh in disappointment. She does none of these. She doesn't even bother to give him particularly serious cold shoulders and silence treatments and talk as if he isn't there and walk as if she doesn't even realize he's in the vicinity of her.
She's colder than she's ever been to him, including when he'd shoved Leeds into a locker, but she's no less polite than she's ever been. God, she's never been anything worse than curt with him, and he's such a dick and a douchebag and a tool and a piece of shit and a worthless waste of space. Even now, as he jostles to get her attention, she simply turns her eyes on him, listens to his cruel jests, and turns away when he's finished. God, here he was hoping for her to show him her heartbreak and here he was falling to pieces with his (and it was his own damn fault, his own stupid fucking choices).
Their (out of the know) teammates definitely recognize the difference in her behavior, but they chalk it up to her finally building an extra wall between them (something they've been trying to get her to do for literal years now. It was always, "Why are you so nice to him? He just shoves your books out of your hands to be a dick!" "I think he just needs some kindness in his life," "As if! I have all the kindness I could ever need, you psychotic whore!" "Sure seems like it." and god-fucking-damn her perceptiveness, her big heart, her endless kindness, her naïvety that she could help him; he would be forever indebted to her kindness and her gentleness and how much it had saved him and then he had ruined it with his stupid ass dumb fucking decisions and even now she couldn't be cruel to him, not even once.). Mr. Harrington pulls her aside after practice to double-check that he didn't hurt her, and the honesty and lack of attack in her response had made it hurt more (and how was that fucking possible anymore?!).
"He's Flash, Sir. He's always rude to me, and yes he did something nasty and it hurt, but it's not of the school's concern, it won't affect my performance in AcaDec, it's nothing I can't handle, and quite honestly, Mr. Harrington? I just don't want to stoop to his level."
"You are one of the most brilliant students I've had the honor of teaching, and are miles kinder and wiser than any other human being I've ever met. You're going to go far someday, and I cannot wait to see what you do someday."
"Thank you, Mr. Harrington. I couldn't do any of it if you didn't put your heart and soul into helping us even when it seems impossibly difficult." And then she smiled that innocent, sweet smile that let you know that she had no idea that she sounded like a brown-noser because she honest to God meant it.
So here's the thing: Peter Parker is an angel of a human being. The planet Earth 's disturbingly large number of vocal, disgusting humans didn't deserve her one bit. Flash among them.
But Peter Parker also suffered left and right.
She had been one of the few who had joined Midtown Tech's high school portion their freshman year, on one of the few scholarships offered. She'd started with an hour commute to school, and her high school career had started horribly. She was alone and friendless and new and definitely not in her socioeconomic class. What she had going for her was the school being an elitist nerd school. You had to be smart, and damn was she smart. That made her popular here. The geeky clubs made her cooler - Marching Band was perhaps not the straight dash to popularity choice, but one that gave her lots of social exposure. The International Club was a genius decision, because nobody at the school had less than Tier 1 universities in their future and everyone knew it was about being well-rounded. Acing Academic Decathlon had shot her right up to the top, earning her a spot in the likes of Liz Allen's favorite people to talk to. Peter hadn't intentionally done it, either, but she'd enchanted herself to the school by being utterly introverted and sweeter than a Pixie Stix without an ounce of dishonesty in her.
Then they'd gone to OsCorp. Norman Osborn and Dr. Curt Connors had revealed an open secret and it should have ruined her social life, but the students in the room had had nothing but sympathy for the horrible way of spilling her private life's facts - her parents were famous scientists, and dead.
The story hadn't gotten outside of their graduating class, at least, but the majority seemed to collectively decide she was their epitome of a Class Cinnamon Roll.
It helped their case that she was out sick for two weeks after OsCorp, and most people assumed that the stress of such horrible things being dragged up in such awful ways meant her mental health giving out and depleting her physical health. She'd come back and looked like shit for a week before she started looking healthier than she had before.
And then the hardest hit yet had slammed her, because Peter Parker never caught a single break.
Everyone in the school knew about Ben Parker's death. Peter's truancy was waived when she missed another week of school. Even the toughest teachers softened at the sight of her puffy, red eyes constantly wet with tears and ghost white face. Someone read the paper, and everyone doubled down on trying to soften up on Peter. Even Flash's buddies didn't have the heart to pick on her knowing she'd seen her uncle shot and held his hand as he died, helpless to do anything. She pulled herself together and two weeks later, and finally made her best friend out of Ned Leeds, generic friends with all the AcaDec girls, and at least acquaintances with the guys. Midtown decided she was not a cinnamon roll, but a gingersnap cookie from the Dollar Tree, like Seymour had once been dared to eat by a Brooklyn Visions' student back in middle school, when they had a kid from lower end Brooklyn who sold the cheap-ass things like damn drugs. Betty had told them they all needed to watch Ouran High School Host Club because they had the same energy as the Host Club drinking instant coffee, but everyone just took her word for it. Anyways, Peter. Dollar Tree gingersnaps. Tough as a Chips Ahoy cookie in light blue packaging, but not crumbly at all, and horribly sweet and spicy all at once.
Two years had been difficult, but survivable, until Thanos.
Plenty of people got fucked by the Decimation and the Blip. Half of the universe had died and returned five years later. A sixteenth of Earth's human occupants had been killed by factors associated with appearing and disappearing. An estimated fourth of all lives had been left in ruins with no way to restart. Not a single person went unaffected. Peter Parker though, she really could not catch a break.
No one outside of Flash's crew didn't believe Peter's having a Stark Internship. Therefore, learning that she had been at Stark's funeral due to being a close companion of his - and seemingly the girl out of the "girl and Spider-Man" who he had saved half the universe for, according to Ms. Potts-Stark directly, was a good sign as to the hurt she was feeling.
It was Thursday afternoon, and Mr. Mounts didn't care what they did this afternoon, because they had a paper due on Friday and half of a class in specialty Tech school that had an entrance exam who were taking AP Lit a year early had already turned in their papers. Mr. Mounts was a smart man, and a great teacher, but he was not technically inclined. He did not care though, so they all saw his YouTube views projected onto the Promethean Board with the noise up. That meant there was no stopping if the viewing of an ad — sort of.
A live news channel cut off the video with an announcement, the scene of a man who had lost it as a direct result of the Decimation and Blip completely ruining his old life during an appointment with the Maria Stark Foundation trying to help him get a new one on track. He'd gone absolutely psychotic, murdering the innocent charity worker, and setting himself loose on the streets. The news was warning of him being loose still and mourning the middle-aged woman now dead, by displaying a nice picture of her from the Maria Stark Foundation. Peter had announced, "I'm going to puke," and bolted out of the room. Ned and MJ had been on her heels, and the rest of the class was in shock.
"Oh Jesus Fuck," Sally finally said. And yeah, that was fair, because Flash knew that face as well as the rest of the AcaDec kids. It was the face of the sweet lady who once brought them Belgian Cream Pie straight from the German Bakery down the street from her apartment; she had got it at half-price because the owner's son was thoroughly charmed and the owner thought she would make an excellent daughter-in-law and that was deserving of half-priced pie even though he knew it was never going to happen.
There's a knock on the door, which opens to reveal Principal Morita looking very depressed and trying not to cry - "I need to borrow Miss Parker - oh fucking shit," he hisses.
"She went to the bathroom to puke, Sir. With Michelle Jones and Ned Leeds."
Somehow, the day only gets crazier. Everyone knows by the time Peter is safely tucked away in Mr. Morita's office, with the police officer who had to deliver the news, Mr. Morita, MJ, and Ned. The only people to go in or out is the secretary - who sends messages to the three students' teachers, as if they aren't tuned into the rumor mill - and a social worker.
MJ and Ned are sent to fetch lunch so the social worker can talk to Peter with only adults.
"Peter?... Do you have any other family you can contact? We... Uh, we tried the contact left in case of this type of horrible event, but given the nature of the contact, we couldn't get a call through -" the social worker pauses, "If not, we have options. Good homes that want a beautiful, brilliant girl like you."
"I'm sorry about that, Ma'am, but I'm sure you're aware that phone lines are a bit risky where my family is concerned. I can as soon as I heard," Pepper Potts-Stark announces as she brushes into the room. A mild-looking man follows her in, his red and white cane rattling as he swipes if in front of him. "And this is Miss Parker's lawyer, Matthew Murdock."
"I hate that we have to meet in such dismal circumstances."
"Oh, Honey," Pepper coos sadly to Peter, sinking down beside her and setting off another round of tears. "I know, Baby, let it all out, I know."
Chapters 2 and 3 up now!
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newtafterdark · 4 years ago
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Taste of Metal - Chapter 2:   Safe Inside Familiar Walls AO3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26157634/chapters/63644236
Summary: What if the overwhelming VR experience Gordon went through, had a deeper purpose than just being a simple simulation & a freelance debug job for him? But most importantly- what if Gordon Freeman listens to Metal & used to be in a band? aka. the "Metalhead Gordon AU"
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Gordon couldn’t sleep, as much as his body wanted him to.
The pain was one thing, but the number of unanswered questions was the overwhelming main reason he had curled up in a blanket, staring at nothing with wide eyes like a startled cat.
Tommy had not moved much after he had teleported them both into Gordon’s apartment, aside from grabbing a water bottle and some painkillers from the kitchen for the shaken scientist.
“D-Do we just wait? I don’t… I don’t know what to do a-about any of this. What even is “this”? What happened? H-How are you even REAL?”, Gordon stammered.
Tommy gave him an apologetic smile from his spot at the end of the bed.
“I just am, Mr Freeman. We all were- uhm- we all are real! I… wanted to tell you during everything. We all did! B-But the code didn’t let us.”
“But you can talk about it now! What changed it?”
Tommy appeared a chunk more nervous at this question but continued anyway-
“You.”
“M-Me??”, Gordon stuttered as he found himself in the focus of Tommy’s vibrant glowing eyes once again.
“We didn’t think someone could alter the code of the simulation like you did, Mr. Freeman... Y-You freed us.”, Tommy said with a warm smile- “I… all of us will do our best to explain everything to you once everyone is here.”
“In my apartment?” Tommy rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “We thought bringing you here would be the safest option for you. It’s a place you know and would feel comfortable in. I-In general but also to talk about everything that happened?”
Gordon nodded slowly.
“I… yeah, I guess that makes sense. And when you say “we”... are you sure everyone will make it out alive without our help?”
“Absolutely!”, Tommy's laugh lines deepened at the edge of his eyes- “I think they are just wrecking the place now for fun now! :)”
That left Gordon silent for a few seconds.
“Oh. W-Well… I…”, Gordon let out a short shaky laugh- “Sorry that I keep you from joining the fun... and that I can’t add support myself-”
Suddenly, Gordon found himself being held once more. Tommy hugged him gently, his chin resting on Gordon’s head.
“A-All of us want you to be safe first, Mr… … Gordon. Fun mayhem comes second! And… a-and I am rather here with you than g-getting overwhelmed with the noise… as fun as destroying a facility might be.”
Gordon chuckled, brushing away a tear he hadn’t noticed falling. “Oh… uhm, thanks. For being here and… the foresight and all that. I don’t think we’ll be safe here in the long run though…”
The taller scientist tilted his head at that. “Why would you leave your home behind? You don’t have to when anyone who could tell on us has other problems to deal with. Much... much bigger problems at that!”
“What… okay, you actually need to sit my ass down and explain what the fuck is happening. Because... this vague shit? Not helping with my still high-stress levels, my man.”
“Resonance cascade………....2”, was suddenly muttered too closely into Gordon’s left ear, almost making the man yeet himself off the bed-
“OH SHI-”
Gordon stared, almost frozen in place.
“B-BENREY?”
The guard (or former guard now? had he even ever been one, to begin with?) was propping himself up on the bed beside Gordon, his lower body no-clipping through it. Seeing this happen in real life turned out to be way trippier than Gordon could have ever imagined.
Yet aside from that… and the very much scary boss encounter they had had with him in the simulation, Benrey looked relaxed. Comfortable even.
“Yo, Feetm-”
Instantly, Benrey got tackled by Gordon. Aggressively, yes - but not with ill intent. Benrey let out a startled wheeze but soon stared in shock as he was tightly hugged against Gordon’s chest.
“I still have no idea how any of this is happening, but I am so fucking happy to see your annoying ass alive, holy SHIT!”, Gordon laughed, ignoring the pain in his stump as good as he could.
Tommy let out a snort as a few pink sweet voice orbs escaped Benrey.
“uhhhhhhhhhhhh… You too, man? Wasn’t sure if you’d make it on your own… decided that Tommy was the best. He always is, but… ya know. For getting you out. Smarter than all of us combined, ya know?”
Tommy waved Benrey off with a blush but smiled.
“Y-Yeah but all that matters is that everyone’s okay. Do you think the rest of the team will be here soon? I w-want us to tell Gordon what happened. He… he really needs to know. There were enough secrets in Black Mesa. :(”
Gordon slowly let go of Benrey and sat up, returning to cradling his arm. He let out a sigh.
“You can say that again. I… I don’t know how much you all know about my side of things, but the bastards never really told me the most important details on any of the projects they assigned me to. I always had to peace everything together myself… which was frustrating as all hell...”
Now it was Benrey’s turn to let out a huff as he pulled himself on top of the bed and got comfortable laying down with his hands behind his head. Gordon decided to look past the fact that the man was still in full guard get-up, including his helmet and boots. At least he looked surprisingly clean...
“Yeah, that was, uh… their whole schtick. Always has been.”, Benrey said, scratching his cheek with- … that was an entire third arm he just grew and Gordon decided to look past that even quicker than the full guard-getup.
Suddenly the door to Gordon’s bedroom opened, making Gordon jump and hold tighter onto his aching arm- until he recognized the friendly face of Darnold…and the very large golden retriever that pushed the door further open to let herself in.
Gordon’s tense shoulders relaxed a bit at the sight of both of them.
“H-Hey...”, stuttered Darnold, giving Gordon a nervous smile and wave- “I just wanted to let you guys know that Sunkist and I checked the area and the apartment. Everything’s clean.”
Sunkist let out a soft woof at the sound of her name and then opted to rest her head on the bed near Gordon. Man, she really was huge. And very much 3D now. Another thing to add to Gordon’s “oh damn I’m starting to feel real overwhelmed by this entire situation”-list.
Tommy pet Sunkist’s head gently and nodded. “Thanks, Darnold! And that’s good! We are several miles away from the facility... but it’s better to be extra safe and see if anything is weird here!”
Darnold sat down on the floor beside Tommy.
“I’ll go check again in a few minutes… I don’t trust this supposed freedom just yet.”
Gordon opted to just nod at that. Speech was slowly failing him as his senses dulled slightly from exhaustion. He leaned back against his bed frame.
He was about to close his eyes as the sound of space being wrapped and time getting bent to his left pulled him right back into high alert-
Dr Coomer and Bubby stepped out through the portal that had formed way too close to the boxes with Gordon’s vinyl record collection, followed by G-Man who closed the portal with a wave of his hand.
“Hello, Gordon!”, Dr Coomer exclaimed, eyes bright and happy as he spotted the man currently half bundled up in his blanket- “Looks like you made it here with good Tommy’s help without... ehm… further harm.”
Bubby scanned Gordon’s form with his eyes and frowned.
“They actually did it, the bastards. Shouldn’t surprise me, but...”, he motioned at the air without aim, seemingly not being able to put his frustration into words.
Gordon just smiled softly at them, exhausted to all hell and back but so relieved and happy that the entire Science Team had made it.
He also noted that Dr Coomer’s limb enhancements were far more visible in real life than in the low-poly form he had been used to. It was interesting to see and the tech guy in him really wanted to ask the man about the intricacies of how they worked. But… later. That could wait.
Bubby on the other hand… there was something off about how Bubby looked. Gordon couldn’t quite pinpoint it, but he supposed that Bubby’s lore of having been created artificially must have carried over into his real-life form as well.
But once again, this was something for Future Gordon to ponder about.
Present Gordon wanted to know about the general “ok, what the fuck just happened???”, before diving into information that he wasn’t even sure he had the right to know about.
He noticed G-Man giving his stump a glance as well before the suited man materialized a simple wooden chair for himself and sat down on it.
Bubby and Coomer opted to join Darnold and Tommy on the floor.
With everyone finally seated, G-Man opened his briefcase and pulled a very heavy-looking folder out of it. Its casing reminded Gordon of the pattern and colour of a missing texture error.
“I am… certain you have a lot of questions, Mr Freeman.”
Gordon closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. He opened his eyes again, looking at everyone in the room over once more before nodding.
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