#also also if anyone knows what fic im talking about please lmk where i can find it bc i miss it

[just-mebs]

I swear to god there was a EngieScout fic on AO3 that I can't seem to find anymore that had this really sweet conversation between Engineer and Scout's mom. Since I can't find it and I'm not convinced that it was just a figment of my imagination, I'm just going to be thinking about Scout bringing Engineer home to meet his mom/brothers for the first time and everything that goes with it.

Like Engineer being stressed out of his mind wanting to make a good first impression, he's a countryman at heart and knows what it means to meet your partner's folks for the first time. Worried out of his mind about what kind of reaction it's gonna get even after Scout assures him that it's okay. He brings Ma flowers, dresses in his best non-oil-stained shirt, and even shaves to look as nice as he can.

Scout tells him that he looks like he's going to church and Engineer can only hope that's not a bad thing.

Just the idea of Scout not being even an ounce helpful. He doesn't understand what Engineer is even worried about, doesn't get why he's so dressed up. He's not complaining, he likes seeing Engie all nice looking for him, but this? Stressed out of his mind? Scout would rather bring him home covered in feathers than see him look this queasy again.

Oh god, when Engie meets all of Scout's brothers they're all 100% there waiting to beat the shit out of whatever little punk thinks he's good enough for their little brother - only to instead see a short, nervous, man, nearly in his 40s, gripping a banquet like his life was in danger. He greets each of them by name, memorizing each of them from what Scout had talked about all those hours they spent in the workshop together, and when he gets to Ma he tries to ignore the fact that he seems closer in age to her than he is to Scout.

I also want to image most of Scout's family being like a little on edge when talking to Engie, waiting for him to "fuck up" in a sense since Scout had of course bragged about how smart Engineer was. All of them waiting for him to talk down to them uneducated folks like the smart types all did - but Engineer isn't like that - he may be smart but he isn't one to put others down unless he needs to, plus his smooth country accent? He sounds more like a hick than anything else really, and that comforts the family more than anything he could do. Like, he knows how to explain things for the common folk to understand (hell, he's dating Scout, he needs to be able to do that). He knows how to "dumb down" his work without making others feel dumb, there's no need to ramble about gizmos and thingamajigs, if they want the nitty gritty of it all they can ask later.

I just think that the entire first meeting is so so stressful, but in the end it works out perfectly fine. They might still be a bit cautious for one reason or another but for the most part i think they'd all get along in the end. The family can see how much he cares for Scout, hell looking at how much he did to give a good first impression is proof enough, so as long as he doesn't go breaking his heart Engineer is good in their eyes

[midnightsnyx]

girl at home | mat barzal | part 5

pairing: mat barzal x fem!reader summary: you’re eighteen when you find yourself pregnant after Mat leaves for hockey. nearly eight years later, Mat finds out about your daughter and you have to deal with the consequences of not telling him about her.

warnings: swearing, angst, food, fluff, not edited word count: 2.3k authors note: it's my bday tmw and i am going out of town for the weekend so i wanted to get this posted!! also, i have no idea how pr management works so i def got everything wrong so pls don't yell at me lol i feel like this chapter is just like a roller-coaster that went off the tracks and blew up and someones trying to put it back together with tape from the dollar store so im sorry but i hope yall like it anyway and don't hate me pls <3 send your thoughts or come yell at me about this story bc I LOVE hearing from you guys!! It feeds my writing soul. thank u all for the love on this story so far and lmk if you wanna be added to my taglist. also thinking about doing some smau for this fic and wondering if you guys have any ideas or suggestions?

if you asked to be added to the taglist and didn't get tagged it's cause you didn't show up when i searched for you! so shoot me a msg and we can figure it out. also if you want to be added or taken off the taglist please let me know <3

requests are open. masterpost masterlist taglist form ask box

You didn’t think the situation with Mat’s statement could get any worse. You were already being pestered by your mom, your friends and even other parents at the day camps Nora attended. Mostly everyone knew that it was true that Mat was her father at that point so the statement caused questions to rise. Ignoring everybody’s opinions about it was easy but six simple words from Nora were what broke you. 

“I thought Mat was my daddy,” she said softly while eating breakfast one morning. She had been quiet since the day before but it continued when she woke up the next morning. You thought maybe she was just moody and tired but it ended up being much more than that.

It took you a minute to answer, trying to figure out where she might have heard or been told that. It wasn’t that surprising that she might have gotten the impression that he was her dad considering how much time Mat had been spending with the two of you or she overheard a conversation. Kids are very perceptive but you couldn’t see how anyone would directly tell her about the public statement and you had been very careful about what you said around Nora and told everyone else to do the same. 

Apparently someone didn’t get the memo. 

You had two options. You could lie to Nora about what was going on or you could explain it in the best way you could to her. Lying to your daughter was the last thing you wanted to do but figuring out the easiest way to explain it so she would understand was hard. How were you supposed to explain that yes, Mat is her daddy but he was a fucking idiot and told the world that she’s not even though he said he wanted to be in her life. It would have been so simple to take the easy way out but it wouldn’t have been fair to Nora so after she finished her breakfast, you sat her down. 

“You’re feeling a little confused, huh?” you asked, watching her fiddle with a loose string on her sweater. 

She nodded, still not looking up at you and not offering her thoughts. It was a bit alarming because she was usually a chatterbox, even when she was upset about something. She would let you know exactly what was wrong. 

“Who told you Mat was your daddy?” 

She finally looked up at you, and the tears threatening to spill from her eyes made you both angry and upset. You were ready to find whoever told her and scream at them but her answer stunned you.

“I heard you talking to Jaxy,” she whispered. “I wasn’t trying to listen but I was coming out to get some water and you said that you were mad at Mat.” 

She didn’t elaborate on what else she may have heard which was unnerving because you probably said a lot of things about Mat that night when Jax came over to talk to you about it. You hoped she didn’t stay long enough for your breakdown where you had cried for thirty straight minutes. 

She sniffled, wiping a couple tears away. “I don’t understand.”

Your heart broke but you still struggled with how to explain everything to her. Telling her in the beginning was probably a better idea but you were so caught up in your own thoughts and feelings, you ignored the person who should have been your number one priority the entire time. 

“Mat is your daddy, baby,” you said. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

I’m sorry I kept you a secret.

“How come everyone is saying he’s not?” 

Mat should have been the one to answer this question because it was his doing, but you hadn’t spoken to him since the night he was at your apartment and the two of you argued. He had texted you the day after but you ignored it because you didn’t know what you would say when given the chance.

“Well, sometimes people make mistakes and Mat said something he shouldn’t have,” you explained, hoping it was enough and it seemed to be enough at first but then she hugged you tightly.

“I love you mama,” she said and before you could reply, she quietly asked, “Do you think Mat loves me?” 

“I’m sure he does,” you told her and it took everything in you not to cry. 

. . .

Liana: dinner at our place @ 6. bring nora and don’t be late!!!

You’re tempted to decline the request and just stay home but you’ve been promising Liana and Nadia that you would actually visit instead of dropping Nora off and leaving like you’ve been doing. Avoiding Mat is becoming increasingly difficult. It’s been two weeks since he released the statement and a week since your conversion with Nora. She’s been asking a lot of questions, ones that you didn’t plan on having to answer so soon. You expected her to be angry with you for not telling her but she took your confirmation that Mat’s her dad with ease. 

So it didn’t come as a surprise when her first question was whether Mat would be at the Barzal household for this dinner. You hadn’t bothered to ask Liana, mainly because you knew it would definitely impact your decision to agree to go. 

“Did you know that Zoe’s mom and dad aren’t together either?” She says during the drive to the Barzal’s. 

You do know this but you humor her. “Really?”

“Yup. Zoe said she spends weekends with her dad and stays with her mommy during the week,” she explains and then moves on to a different topic. You’re a little curious why she would talk about her friends’ living arrangements but when you finally pull into the driveway, your question is answered. 

“Do I have to stay at Mat’s on the weekend?” She asks and if you hadn’t already parked the car, you would have hit the brakes. 

“No,” you say a little too quickly and sharply because she frowns. 

“How come?”

You don’t answer her question right away, getting out of the car and walking around to the other side. She’s already unbuckling her seatbelt by the time you open the door and she’s still frowning. 

“Just no, Nora.”

“But Zoe does!”

You can’t explain custody agreements to a seven-year-old so you say the first excuse you can think of. 

“He doesn’t live here,” you say, taking her hand and begin walking towards the house. She’s dragging her feet, clearly not happy with your response. 

“Do I have to call him dad?” 

“No.”

“Why?”

“Just ‘cause,” you say, stopping at the door and turning to her. Her arms are crossed and she’s giving you the look that says she won’t let up until you give her an answer she wants.

“Do you want to call him dad?” 

She pauses, looking down at the ground and frowning. After a moment she shakes her head. 

“No, but Miss. Jones says you’re not supposed to call your mommy and daddy by their first names ‘cause it’s disrespectful.” 

“It’s not up to Miss. Jones,” you say gently. “This is new, and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”

After a moment, she mutters a quiet “okay,” and then: “do you think Nadia has ice-cream for dessert?”

“Guess we’ll have to go inside and ask,” you reply and raise your fist to knock on the door but it swings open before you can. Liana is waiting on the other side with a big smile on her face. Nora runs straight to her and giggles when the older girl picks her up and swings her around. 

“C’mon in,” Liana says, ushering you inside. So far there’s no sign of Mat so some of the tension leaves your body. After putting both yours and Nora’s shoes aside, you make your way to the kitchen. Nadia is puttering around, juggling a million things but she still smiles softly when she sees you. 

“Can I help with anything?” 

“You can keep me company,” she says and points to a chair. “Sit down and update me on what you’ve been up to.”

You know that you can’t argue with her so you sit and chat idly with her. She doesn’t bring up anything to do with Mat and you’re not sure what to think about it. You almost slip up and ask if he’s going to be here for dinner but decide not to. You haven’t seen him around since you arrived, so he’s probably out. Maybe with a girl. 

Not that you care, obviously. 

Mike eventually pokes his head in the kitchen to greet you and ask how you’ve been. He offers to set the table but Nadia shoos him out of the kitchen, rolling her eyes fondly. 

“Don’t get married, they’re nothing but trouble,” she jokes but there’s a smile on her face that lingers even after her husband leaves. You always admired their relationship, and were certain that you and Mat would be like it some day but it wasn’t in the cards. 

Soon, Nadia calls everyone to dinner. Nora immediately asks why Mat isn’t here and there’s an awkward silence until Liana breaks it.

“He’s busy,” she tells Nora and that must be enough because she just nods and starts eating dinner. Nothing else is said about Mat but just as you’re all finishing dessert, you hear the door open and close and there’s only one person you figure it will be.  

Mat walks into the dining room, clearly caught off guard by your presence. Nora hops off her chair and darts over to him, wrapping her arms around his legs and starts chatting excitedly. He’s trying to give her all his attention but his eyes keep flickering to you. 

When Nadia and Mike get up to start clearing the table and Liana asks Nora if she wants to go watch a movie, you realize that the three of them planned this. It’s almost like you’re kids again, fighting about something stupid and needing his parents to help fix the problem. 

Mat looks at you a little helplessly when the room clears and it’s just the two of you. There’s no way you can yell at him with his family and Nora in the next room and you realize that was also probably planned. 

“Can we talk?” he asks and you really don’t want to, but you realize that eventually you’re going to have to talk to him so you nod. You follow him out the back door and the two of you sit on the porch steps in silence until you finally break it.

“Why didn’t you come to me about what PR wanted to do? We could have figured out something together.”

He shrugs, looking at the ground. “I didn’t think to ask you about it. I just wanted to fix everything before it got complicated. I wasn’t thinking.” 

“Yeah, no shit,” you mutter. “That’s something you’re great at. You don’t think before you do anything.” 

You jump when he stands up suddenly and turns to face you. He’s angry but so are you.

“No, fuck that. You can’t just expect me to do everything right, when a month ago, all I had to worry about was hockey. I can’t be number one dad overnight! You didn’t even tell me about her for six years!” 

You’re a bit taken off guard by his sudden outburst but you can do anger too.

“That is the exact reason I didn’t tell you about her, Mat. Hockey is always going to come first in your life,” you snap. “And I didn’t ask you to be a number one dad, all I asked was that you be sure you wanted to be in her life before you committed to anything because this is exactly what I was worried about.” 

He falters a little, probably not expecting you to return the anger. 

“I didn’t want to post what they asked me to,” he says, sounding defeated. “But I didn’t know how to say no. When PR tells you to jump, you jump.”

You’ve no idea how public relations in hockey works, it’s possible that they would have posted the statement without asking Mat but you’re so damn angry. You’re angry but you don’t know who you’re even supposed to be mad at now. 

“You should have come to me,” you say again. “That’s how co-parenting works, you know.”

His mouth twitches. “That’s what we were doing?”

You can feel the anger slowly dissipating. Mat’s shoulders aren’t as tense and he plops back down on the steps so you sit next to him, letting your shoulders and knees knock against his.

“Well, you are her dad,” you admit. “And she is very concerned about her future living arrangements.”

He looks at you a little confused but there’s a small smile spreading across his face. 

“Does she know?”

“Yeah,” you tell him. “She’s smarter than you expect sometimes.”

“She gets that from you,” he says, poking your arm.

You roll your eyes fondly. “Well she had to get her brains from someone.”

He huffs but it sounds more like a laugh. You watch him look at the ground, brows furrowed and deep in thought.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?”

Here’s the thing that a lot of people don’t know about Mat: he doesn’t forgive himself easily. It’s something you learned the hard way when you were younger and dating. 

So you know he will beat himself up over this until you forgive him. 

“Yeah, but we both did.” You bump your knee against his until he looks up at you. “We can fix it, but we have to do it together.”

He holds out his pinky finger. ”Co-parenting, right?”  

You hook your finger around his and nod, letting yourself relax for the first time in weeks. It’s going to take time, hard work, and you’re both going to have to learn how to trust and communicate better again but you're sure you’ll get there.

“Together,” you agree.

tag list: @literatureluster @dasiysthings @barzyblogbabe @diary-of-jj @heatherawoowoo @fallinallincurls @topguncultleader @shadowsndaisies @lovinbarzal @whatthepuckisgoingon @alilstressyandlotdepressy @teapartydreams @keiva1000

[monzamash]

ok so I have a find a fic and I've tried SO HARD to find it. It's a series with lando where reader works for him at his house but they're doing stuff on the side, and she finds out shes pregnant while he's on a trip. I think the first chapter is about him coming back early. can someone PLEASE help because I wanna know what happens so bad bro

can anyone help our friend out? 💖

also i remember seeing a blog that was dedicated to finding fics for people but can’t remember the username… if anyone knows what im talking about lmk!

[hyperion-moonbabe-art3mis]

Blind Love

Prompt (bolded): “Despite everything, I still care about you” ~Ria’s Writing Challenge @im-a-writer-right​

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x Reader

Word Count: 1.5k

You had been sitting in the mess hall waiting to meet up with Raven, but she was taking forever. As you waited you watched as Pike sat across from Bellamy. You would do anything to get him out of Arkadia. They seemed to be talking about something sensitive, seeing how cautiously Pike and Bellamy were looking around.

Finally Raven had arrived but just as Pike had left Bellamy, “Hey, give me a moment,” I tell her and head towards Bellamy.

“What the hell was that?” You whisper to Bellamy taking a seat where Pike was.

“Nothing,” Bellamy says a bit louder than you.

“Well, whatever the hell it was. I don’t like it. Stay away from Pike, please. For me,” You say.

“But what if Pike is right?” Bellamy whispers back.

“Considering what happened during the Mt. Weather funeral. What he has in mind is wrong, the grounders aren’t the enemy. I know you want revenge for Gina but sticking with Pike, is the wrong choice, okay? Choose the right one,” You say and leave Bellamy.

“What was that about?” Raven asks as you sit next to Raven.

“Nothing. I just wanted to check in on Bellamy,” You say. 

“Oh, because you have a thing for him right?” Raven chuckles.

“How’s your leg?” You ask, changing the topic.

“Don’t you change topics on me. I’ll answer when you do,” Raven says.

“I just care for him, that’s all. Now, how’s your leg?” I ask once more.

“Sure...anyways it’s alright. Abby is being difficult about the whole work thing,” She sighs.

“I’m sure you’ll work it out. You’re strong, I know you can push through it,” I nudge her as her expression falls.

Later that night you and Harper were watching the gate along with Lincoln and Monroe. After the sun had set, you see Pike and Bellamy, along with a few others approach. Bellamy makes his way to you guys as the three of you walk towards him.

“You need to step aside, right now,” Bellamy says.

“What are the guns for?” Harper asks.

“There’s an army out there. We need to hit them before they hit us,” Bellamy states.

“That army was sent to protect us,” You respond.

“Do we have a problem?” Pike questions from behind Bellamy.

“No. I have always done what is best for us. I need you to trust that I am doing that now. Monroe, Harper.” He says trying to convince us. Monroe and Harper then back away.

“Sorry Lincoln and Y/N,” Harper says.

“If you have always done what’s best for us, then you know that staying here is. You know that the army is meant to protect us, not attack,” You state but get no response.

“You too Y/N and Lincoln. Lincoln, you want to prove you’re one of us, let us pass,” Pike demands.

“I’m not moving,” Lincoln says.

“Same here,” You sat settling in for a long standoff.

“Get outta the way, grounder.” A man yells and points his gun to Lincoln.

“If you’re pointing a gun to him, you’re pointing a gun to me,” You state and step in front of Lincoln and dropping your gun. 

“Don’t do this Y/N,” Bellamy whispers.

“If you don’t want them to shoot at me. You’d stop this,” You whisper back. Soon enough Lincoln steps in front of you and grabs the man’s gun and grapes him by the neck holding a knife to him. The rest of the group starts to aim the guns at Lincoln.

“Guns down. Guns down!” Bellamy yells to his group.

“Do what he says. Now,” Pike agrees and gets everyone to calm down.

“So much for the good grounder,” Monty’s mom states.

“Quiet, Hannah,” Pike responds not wanting to rouse anyone else. “Whose people are you defending here, Lincoln?” Pike asks.

“Lincoln put down the knife. No one has to get hurt here,” Bellamy says.

“We can’t let you start a war,” You inject.

“We’re already at war,” Pike responds.

“You guys can’t stop this,” Bellamy tries to stop Lincoln.

“All unstationed security personnel report to the main gate,” A man over the PA system says as an alarm starts to go off and repeats the message. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Octavia asks her brother after making her way to us. Soon enough the guards make their way to us and disarm the group. Abby has the guards take Bellamy, Pike, and the rest of the group taken to lock up. But before they can get the rest of the group out, multiple people in the group start to shout and vote that Pike be put on the ballot to be the next Chancellor. Just what you need, you think to yourself.

The next day you were informed that Pike had won the votes for Chancellor. You were outside trying to gather your thoughts. You noticed Pike, Bellamy and their group make their way to the gates.

“What are you doing Bellamy?” You question running in front of them.

“Making the right choice, now get out of the way,” Bellamy responds.

“No, I’m not moving. What you’re probably about to do, is not the right choice. And you know that Bellamy. Stop this now, don’t start a war,” You try to convince him to stop.

“Move out of the way grounder!” A man yells and points a gun at you.

“Stand down. She’s one of us,” Pike says moving towards you and pushing the man’s gun down. “I’m the Chancellor now and what we’re doing is right. Unless you want to land yourself in lockup, I would stand down now if I were you,” Pike explains.

“Yes, sir,” You step out of the way seeing as you’re outnumbered and Bellamy won’t stop but you know that you’re not done. 

You wait for hours, for Bellamy to return. You think of the best possible way that you can stop the war and keep Pike at bay. A more hours pass and the group finally made their way through the gates. You alert Octavia and the two of you wait on the sidelines.

“Bellamy, you okay?” Octavia asks as the two of you make your way over to them.

“I’m fine,” Bellamy responds coldly.

“What happened out there?” You ask hoping to get an idea. But Bellamy just walks past the two of you.

“I’ll go talk to him, see if I can get anything out,” You say and head off as Octavia nods. You wait until Pike is done with his little speech and Bellamy is somewhere you can talk to him. You follow him into the Ark and wait until no one is around.

“Hey, can I talk to you?” You ask making your way to Bellamy.

“Can it wait? Pike needs me right now,” Bellamy pleads.

“Not it can’t. Please, now?” You ask but more demand. He sighs and follows you into your room.

“What the hell, Bellamy. You know you just started a war, right?” You say.

“The war started when the grounders set up camp near us,” Bellamy states back.

“Are you serious right now? You know they were here to protect us,” You respond.

“They blew up Mt. Weather. They killed Gina,” Bellamy says getting upset.

“Look, Bellamy. I get it, I really do. I get that you want revenge for Gina. I’d do anything to get my parents back. But you siding with Pike, the wrong side! Isn’t the way to do it,” You say trying to make your voice calming.

“You’re wrong Y/N. I have to do this, the grounders started the war and we have to end it,” Bellamy responds.

“You’re wrong, Bell. Just please stop now. I know this isn’t going to end well on either side. I don’t want you or anyone else to get hurt,” You say even calmer.

“Like I said, I have to do this. Now stay out of this, I don’t want to see you get hurt either,” Bellamy says and moves to the door.

“Bell, wait,” You turn him to face you but he keeps his head down. “ If you don’t want to lose me, you’ll let this go. I know you loved Gina but I also know that she held you back from...me. I love and care for you Bellamy and I know you care for me too. But I can’t stand here and take in this side of you. I will fight back if I have to,” You state putting your feelings out there, hoping it will stop him.

Bellamy sighs and brings his eyes to yours, “You’re right and despite everything we’ve gone through on the ground and with each other, I do still care about you. And I do love you, I didn’t realize it until now, but I know I do. But I told you I have to do this, not just for her, but for our people too,” Bellamy states and starts to head out of my room.

“Bell,” You stop him once again. “If you really do love and care for me, then you’d stop this and put yourself on the right side,” You say but he just walks out of your room.

You’re left with your own thoughts to process what just happened. How can he love you but not listen to you and realize that he’s on the wrong side you think to yourself.

A/N:  So I really don’t know how but I wrote this in 2 hours. I know I changed the prompt a bit but seeing as how things were playing out, i thought it worked. But TBH idk if the prompt worked where it did and I liked what I had written so much that I just kept it. Please lmk if it did, because I’m really unsure of the placement ahah. Otherwise, I'm really proud of this fic haha, I hope you all enjoyed it! 

(P.s. Idk if the title even works, but that’s what I came up with haha)

[kolsmikaelson]

caitee’s 200 followers celebration

in light of recent events(the quinn & brock thing:/) ive decided to post this now. i haven’t quite hit 200 but im only three away now and we all need something to keep our minds off of the recent news(at least i do) and so im really hoping yall will participate:) you all can send requests for the rest of the week for this(just if its in a few days lmk what its for) anyways on to the fun stuff !!!

okay chari gave me this idea! on my last milestone celebration, i did things like “🌊- cast your mutuals as...” and im doing the same thing just using hockey players names. & the names arent in any particular order, i tried to keep players with the teams theyre on but some i forgot and remembered like halfway through and added them towards the end.

if you have any questions about any of the names and what they mean just send me an ask and i’ll explain it better! also! it doesnt matter if you do anon or not! if youre more comfortable sending an ask by anon then thats okay! but dont feel obligated to send any asks at all!! i just thought this would be a fun thing to do since i hit 200 followers and i didnt think i’d get here:) and if you do participate please include the players name so i know which ones which:)

tagging moots!

@kempe @mxltifandoms06 @hymarners @calesykar @moritzseider @jackiesquinn @bestestbenn @vinceduhn @damndunner @dunnerbarzal @dunnwithlyfe @teenagekook

mat barzal-ask/tell me an embarrassing story

anthony beauvillier- ask me about anything (just please no political stuff)(it can be like “where did you come up with your username?”)

anders lee- blurbs (chari will be helping me & i normally dont write anything so dont judge pls)

tyler seguin-send a number between 1-250 and i’ll show you what picture that is in my camera roll

jamie benn- send your assumptions about me

jamie oleksiak- send me something you’ve needed to get off your chest, wether it be anon or not doesnt matter

roope hintz- cast your mutuals( ex: cym with harry potter soulmates) (i’ll do it with obx,harry potter&hockey players)

nolan patrick- moodboards(i’ll look at your blog and make one i think would suit it, also you could send one for mine if you wanted)

travis konecny- spotify wrapped, pick a number say what the song in my 2020 wrapped playlist corresponds with your number

cale makar- abc game, if you dont send it anonymously i’ll pick songs that start with the first letter of your username and so on(ex: anthonybeauvy i’d go a-always you by louis tomlinson then n-no control one direction then continue like that)

tyson jost- ask me for any advice

nathan mackinnon- send or ask for a random storytime

matthew tkachuk-biggest fear(ask what mine is/ something im scared of)

vince dunn- if money wasnt an issue what would you buy(ask me what i would buy or tell me what you’d buy)

elias pettersson-if the pandemic was magically over, we didnt have to worry about it anymore, what would you do, dont have to worry about money or anything(tell me what you’d do or ask what i’d do)

brock boeser- where would you travel if money wasnt an issue? (tell me where you’d go or ask where i’d go!!)

quinn hughes(now im changing it and if you’d like please send sindey crosby instead <3)-where would you live, anywhere in the world , if you could!

mitch marner- whats something most people dont knoe about you? (ask me or tell me)

tagging some moots:)

william nylander-if you could only drink one drink for the rest of your life, what would it be?(ask me or tell me)

pierre luc dubios-favorite book?(ask or tell me)

andrei svechnikov-if you had to live in another time period, what would you choose?

erik johnson- if you had to choose a time period to live in, what would it be? why?

gabriel landeskog- tell me about about something you’re passionate about?

andre burakovsky-if you could choose a fictional universe(ex:marvel,obx,harry potter,star wars) to live in, what would you choose,and why?

mikko rantanen- what are your three biggest pet peeves?

welcome to the appreciation part of this post. in gonna tag some of my closer moots and basically tell them how much i care about them:)))

@kempe we’ve been mutuals for a while now, and im so glad i met you. you have been so so kind to me and we’ve grown so so close! i hope to never lose you ever <3 i love you so so much also remember you are so stunning holy shit zoe youre the light of my life<3

@calesykar arianna babe i literally love you so much, im always gonna be here for you, wether you need help with a fic or something personal i’ll help you!! youre so sweet and im so glad we met! and you’re absolutely gorgeous babes

@hymarners im so glad tumblr let you finally get back on and you found my account somehow, you are so amazing and kind and i am so glad we managed to meet, i love you<3 i may not know what you look like but im sure you are insanely gorgeous

@vinceduhn you are such a kind person, youre an amazing writer and i’ve been following you for a while, and im glad we started interacting ilysm<3

@moritzseider thank you for everything youre so amazing and i love you so so much<3 remember always you’re gorgeous and im always always always here if you need anything bub

@mxltifandoms06 thank you so so much for helping me with this, and anything else youve helped me with!! i love you so so much!!

@jackiesquinn i really appreciate you, im do glad we are mutuals and im literally always here for you<3 remember youre STUNNING and i love you so much

@bestestbenn you are such an amazing author and a kind person bot to mention insanely gorgeous like?? i could never! but im always here to help with whatever you need and im super glad we met i love you<3

@dunnwithlyfe youre so sweet and i know we started talking after all my friend drama but im super glad we started you are amazing !!! ilysm!!!

thank you to anyone who may participate, if not thank you anyway! im super thankful for almost 200!!

[crash-cinematic-universe]

Holographic Sand is a Kickass Band Name

pairing: peter maximoff/OC(graciella decuerpo) (high school AU/not canon)

summary: peter learns that a fuckton can change in the course of a week

warnings: none? bad language and peter is simp but thats it

notes **please read**: Heyyyyy how are you doing? good? that’s great. so ik this fic is a peter/oc fic, but honesty i only use her name a few times and a few defining features but like. thats it. so you can totally just imagine urself in her position. also this fic is 5,550 words exactly. that’s the most ive ever written and I am SUPER fucking proud. I think i might become one of those blogs where i write super huge monster fics that im proud of instead of just writing to fill requests.if u dont want that then just lmk and i will not do that. i dont know. maybe. also this fic is peter centric because uh it is. anyways enjoy <3

taglist: @creator-appreciator, @simonsbluee

--------

Monday

           Peter sat across the room, his arms crossed neatly on top of his knees as he rested his chin on his forearm. He wasn’t paying attention to the lesson being taught in front of him, in fact, he wasn’t paying attention to anything at all. No, Peter was lost in his head again. Peter’s mind was a chaotic minefield of music and cheesy one-liners and random facts that he seems to just know. But this time, he wasn’t envisioning himself beating up a police officer or playing with Pink Floyd. This time, he was picturing a perfect world where nothing ever happened yet nothing was ever boring. Peter had built a utopia in his mind-- a kingdom created to his exact preferences. A blissful tower of joy and happiness and energy and satisfaction. A paradise where he stood on top of the world with Graciella DeCuerpo, the pretty girl from algebra  class, standing right next to him.

          Now, Peter was well aware that the pretty girl from algebra  class had no idea who Peter was. The pair had never exchanged more than a few words, but somewhere within those few words, Peter managed to decide that she was his soulmate. He’d created an image of her in his head that would make God weep tears of envy, the perfect personality for the perfect person.  Peter willfully ignored the fact that he was setting himself up for heartbreak as he imagined how nice it would feel to have her fingers intertwined with his. 

           All of Peter’s friends thought he was ridiculous, ‘you can’t love someone you don’t know,’ they’d say. Peter would only scoff and shake away their words. He absolutely can love someone he doesn’t know, it’s getting the other person to reciprocate those feelings that’s nearly impossible. However, that doesn’t stop him from fantasizing at night. That doesn’t stop him from imagining the various ways he’d confess his love to the pretty girl who doesn’t love him. Or maybe she does. Peter doesn’t know, he could never know; unless, of course, he worked up the courage to talk to her. 

          Scott constantly teased Peter about his one-sided infatuation, but Peter paid no mind to him. He was 100% content with his perpetual pining for someone who probably didn’t know his name. He was totally okay with the unending ache in his chest that would appear any time she walked by or met his gaze. Peter was alright with his ceaseless yearning and the eternal feeling of disappointment that overtook him every time he snapped out of one of his fantasies. He was a-okay with all of that.

          So, there he was, spacing out during biology class as Professor Hargreeves struggles to teach the silver teen about photosynthesis. The Professor looked at Peter with desperate eyes, soon deciding that having his usually energetic student be quiet and still was the silver lining of the situation-- no pun intended. Professor Hargreeves droned on as Peter glanced at the clock, counting down the minutes until 7th period. Counting the seconds until he got to see the pretty girl in algebra  class once again.

Tuesday

          6th period was always the worst part of Peter’s day-- the dreaded english class. There were many contributing factors to Peter’s hatred for this class; the professor was a bore, the material itself was uninteresting, and Peter could never seem to sit still or retain any of the words he read in english class. Worst of all, english class seemed to go on forever, leaving Peter to impatiently wait for the bell to ring and release him to 7th period. At the end of the period every day, he was practically vibrating in his seat. 

          “Can anyone tell me what Juliet’s suicide is supposed to symbolize?” the Professor asked expectantly. Peter couldn’t care less about the symbolism of some chick’s suicide-- he’d much rather be studying the features of his algebra  class infatuation. 

          She sat next to him yesterday. There were at least 5 other open seats and she sat next to him. Yes, Peter read too much into it and yes, Peter spent the entire class period trying to make himself seem naturally cool, but he didn’t care. Peter would act like the most desperate, pathetic, lovestruck loser in the world if it meant that she would like him. They didn’t talk, they didn’t exchange a single word, nevertheless, Peter was in a state of euphoria for the entire class period. 

          Sometimes Peter feels like a stalker. He watches her whenever he can-- he doesn’t follow her around or anything, but if she’s around, he’ll stare at her. He has her features memorized, the curve of her nose, the dark brown irises surrounding her pupils, the way that she always seems to have chipped black nail polish on. He sees the small things. He sees the way she bites her nails when he gets bored and he sees the way her leg never seems to stop bouncing. She hums the basslines to songs as opposed to the melody. 

          English class came to an abrupt end as the bell cut off the Professor’s teachings as well as Peter’s distant daydreaming. Peter was out of his seat within seconds, his notes and books quickly being swept up in his arms as he walked out of the room. The hallways are crowded and chaotic and busy, each individual student attempting to get to their locker then to their class on time. Peter watches as kids swing their lockers open, fatigue and weariness apparent on their faces as they disappear into their classrooms. Peter reaches his locker hastily, the few small posters of classic rocks bands adorning the inside of his locker door. A playful giddiness overcame his body as he made his way to algebra  class, a small smile left on his face.

          Graciella shows up across the hallway, her bright red hair catching his eye in a sea of brown and blonde and blue. His stomach flutters as they get closer and closer to each other, finally meeting outside of the classroom. Her eyes rise to meet Peter’s, and instead of pulling away, Peter keeps looking. She smiles at him before disappearing inside the classroom, and Peter felt his knees get weak. With a deep breath and a triumphant smile, he walked into the classroom.

Wednesday

          Lunchtime; possibly one of the most enjoyable parts of Peter’s school day. Peter is free to kick back and stuff his face full of whatever junk the school board deems nutritious enough for highschoolers. Usually, he ate lunch under the bleachers with his friends, but in some sick twist of fate most of them were absent. So, Peter was left to eat alone in his usual spot.

          The quiet was comfortable, refreshing. The gentle summer breeze would blow every few minutes and Peter would listen to the rustle of the leaves. There’s a certain tranquility to being alone; Peter can lay back and relax and just… think. No stress, no panicking, no--

          “Hey, uh, Peter, right?” Peter’s eyes snap up so fast he’s afraid they would detach from his head and fall out. His breath faltered and his hands began to shake a bit-- why was he so freaked out? She was just a girl; sure, she was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen, and yeah, he was madly in love with her, but that’s besides the point. 

          “Uh-- uh, yeah, P-Peter. That’s, uh, that’s me,” He chuckled awkwardly, desperately trying to stay cool. Peter was an awkward person, but he’d rather die than fuck up his chances with Grace.

          “You dropped this on your way out of class yesterday, I, uhm, didn’t get to return it to you until now,” She holds out a small key chain with three small keys hanging off of it-- Peter’s house keys, along with the key to his mother’s car. He quickly takes the key chain from the red-haired girl in front of him.

          “Holy shit, uh, thanks! I couldn’t get into my house yesterday so I guess you saved me from another broken window,” Peter held up his hand and showcased the scattered pattern of small cuts on his palm. Grace laughed lightly before gently running her fingers over the cuts on Peter’s palm.

          “Oh fuck, dude, these look pretty bad. Maybe keep a spare key hidden under your welcome mat or something,” Peter doesn’t fully process Grace’s words; he’s too preoccupied with trying not to collapse at the feeling of her fingertips on his palm.

          “Hey, you okay? You look… pale,” Grace pressed the back of her hand on Peter’s forehead in an attempt to check for illness, but that just made Peter’s skin erupt in goosebumps. 

          “I, um, I’m fine. I’m just st-stressed about the algebra  t-test on Friday, I th-think,” To be fair, Peter was stressed about the algebra  test. Peter may or may not have spent the entire class staring at Grace instead of, you know, learning the material.

          “Oh! Well, if you want, I can help you study. I’m also kinda worried about it, and I study better with other people,” Peter silently thanked god for what was happening to him.

          “That would be fuckin’ fantastic,” Grace smiled a smile that made Peter shiver.

          “Cool! Uh, I’ll give you my phone number and we’ll meet up tomorrow. One day isn’t much time to study, but it’s better than nothing.” She pulls a pen out of her backpack and rips a small piece of paper out of one of her notebooks. Peter watches as she scribbles down her phone number and hands the paper to him.

          “Thanks. For everything, the keys, the studying-- everything.” Grace smiled.

          “It’s no problem, Peter, really. I’ll call you later,” And just like that, she walked away. Peter was left alone under the bleachers, a wide smile plastered on his face as he read the piece of paper in his hands over and over and over again.

Thursday

          30 minutes. 30 minutes until Grace Reaper DeCuerpo, the prettiest, nicest, funniest girl Peter had ever met would show up on his doorstep. She would be inside his house for god knows how long. She would sit next to Peter-- either on the coffee table in the basement or on the floor of his bedroom. Needless to say, Peter was freaking the fuck out.

          The plan was simple: Grace shows up, they study, they get comfortable, and she goes home. Yet, in those four simple steps, so much could go wrong. Wanda could interrupt, his mother could lose her temper, Lorena could start crying-- worst of all, Peter could embarrass himself and drive her away. 

           Peter was in the middle of reorganizing his record collection for a third time when he heard a knock at the door. His blood went cold and an electric excitement ran through his veins. Peter checked his hair in the mirror one last time before running to the door. He stood silently, staring at the chrome handle hesitantly. This was his one chance. His only chance to make his perfect kingdom real-- Peter really, really, really didn't want to fuck it up. With a deep breath, he slowly opened the door.

          "Hey, Peter!" Her voice was smooth and melodic and it made Peter's heart light up. He’s about to respond with something smooth and witty when a squeaky voice chirps behind him.

         “Hi!! Are you the pretty girl Peter talks about?” Peter can physically feel his face turn bright red as he turns to see his six-year-old sister, Lorena, standing behind him. She’s wearing a purple princess dress that has a syrup stain on the sleeve. Grace laughs before stepping through the doorway. 

          “Lorena!” Peter groans in annoyance, a pleading look on his face. The young girl just giggles before scurrying away, her dress flowing behind her.

          “‘The pretty girl Peter talks about’, huh?” Grace grins at Peter cheekily. Peter runs his hand through his hair before motioning to the staircase.

          “God, Lorna is quite the kid. Well, uh, we can work in my room,” He sighs. “And Grace? Uh, m-maybe don’t let Lorena change your opinion of me,” She just smirks before walking past Peter.

          “Too late,” She called before disappearing down the stairs. Peter could hear the faintest trace of a smile in her voice. His heart skipped a beat as he quickly followed after her. 

          She was wearing a Pink Floyd t-shirt and holding a backpack with various pins on it-- her left ear was pierced in three places and her right in five. The earrings she was wearing were black, or maybe grey; her bright red hair blocked Peter’s view of them. She was wearing rings, some odd words engraved in the metal. Peter couldn’t read them from where he was standing. She was wearing a skirt with fishnets, her hand buried in the pockets that seem to have been sewn in herself. She has callouses on both her hands, but Peter knew that already. Her appearance would put Aphrodite to shame-- suddenly, Peter was much less confident in himself than he was before. He ran his hand through his hair again before reaching the basement.

          He held his breath as Grace looked around his room, her gaze lingering on the plethora of stolen signs and band posters covering the walls. She placed her backpack on the floor and walked over to Peter’s record collection, her fingers carefully flitting through the different albums. She seemed… impressed. It was then that Peter realized it had been silent for much too long.

          “Y’know I can, uh, p-play some music if you want me to. You can just pick a record and, uh, I’ll... play it,” Peter winced at his words, cursing himself for being so awkward in front of the girl he’d been pining after since the beginning of the year. He felt like everything had spiraled out of control, and he watched idly as it happened. Then, Grace shot him a smile and pulled out a record.

          “You have a good taste in music, Silver,” No one had ever called Peter ‘silver’ before. He liked it a bit more than he should. “Although, that’s not really a surprise. I had a feeling you were cool.” 

          “You think I’m cool?” Peter asked, shocked. He wasn’t sure he heard her correctly.

          “Oh, totally. I see you in the hallways sometimes and you always seem so… carefree. Genuine. I don’t know, I guess it’s just… you, ya know? You’re naturally cool.” Every syllable that rolled off her tongue shot euphoria through Peter’s veins. Grace DeCuerpo, the girl Peter Maximoff had dreamed of for almost a full year, was telling him that she thought he was cool. Naturally cool. 

          “I know a lot of people who would disagree with you on that one,” Peter joked. There was truth behind his humor, but of course, he didn’t want to get into his insecurities now. “They think I’m a total loser, which isn’t totally wrong I guess.”

          “Well those people are stupid,” She stated matter-of-factly with a smile. “Speaking of stupid, we should probably get to work.” Peter nodded before sitting beside her on the floor. 

          For three hours they poured over their algebra  books. They quizzed each other and checked each other’s work; Peter’s proficiency in simplifying radicals aiding them both. Every now and then their hands would brush against each other, or the conversation would stray away from school and into their personal lives. Peter learned that Grace had two brothers, one of which passed away when she was younger. Peter talked about Lorena and Wanda and his miraculous abilities in the same way that she talked about her hometown and her own abilities. The conversation was smooth and natural-- Peter didn’t feel like he was being too annoying or too chatty and there was seldom an awkward pause. The pair were content in their time together, not a single moment went by where one wished the other would leave. 

          Eventually, Grace had to go home. Peter wished that she could stay forever, but of course, that would be considered kidnapping. He walked her to the door, although Peter didn’t feel like he was walking. He felt like he was floating.

          “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow, Silver,” Grace said softly as she turned to face Peter. She looked him in the eye and he could feel his stomach flutter. 

          “Yeah, I guess so,” She opened the door, but before she left, she froze. She turned to look at Peter once again. 

          “Peter?” she said. “You’re not a loser.”

Friday

          Peter could tell the second he walked through the front door of his high school that something had changed. The energy that radiated in the halls shifted from a dull buzz of boredom to a rush of anticipation. The students in the hallway looked the same as always; tired and anxious and wishing for the day to go by quickly. However, Peter wasn’t wishing for the end of the day, and he certainly wasn’t tired. He was determined and energized and absolutely terrified, because that morning Peter Maximoff made the most important decision a seventeen-year-old could. He decided that he was going to ask Grace out on a date. 

          Peter made the choice to keep this from his friends-- it’s not that he didn’t trust them, it’s just that Peter knew he would be teased for his infatuation. It’s happened before and it will happen again. He walked down the hallways with a brave face on, his eyes forward and his heart racing. Truthfully, the silver teenager was terrified of… well, everything. The looming image of a harsh rejection forced itself into his mind; the idea that she would laugh in his face made his heart break a tiny bit, even though it wasn’t real. Peter simply shook those images away and walked on. 

          The day flew by much faster than Peter was comfortable with, and for the first time ever, he was dreading algebra  class. He was terrified that he would walk through the door and have everything be exactly the same-- he feared that Grace would go back to not knowing who he was, just like before. Peter was alright with never being her boyfriend, but he didn’t want to be a stranger. He didn’t think he could take being a stranger anymore. 

            So, there he stood, staring at the door to his algebra classroom from across the hall. He felt confident and prepared himself for the task at hand. In four long strides, he entered the classroom. Grace was sitting next to an empty desk, her eyes stuck on the small notebook full of doodles on her desk. Peter watched as her eyes raised to meet his, a wide smile forming on her face as she motioned him over. 

          “Hey, silver! I saved a seat for ya,” she called, and Peter felt his knees get weak. He then decided that he would wait until after class to ask her out. 

          “You did?”

          “Of course,” She grinned. “I like you, dude, you’re my friend,” Peter’s heart fluttered as he sat down beside her. Grace shot an odd look his way before reaching out and placing a hand on his arm. “Hey, you look stressed. Don’t sweat it, silver, you’ll do fine. We studied for, like, 3 hours yesterday. You’re gonna ace it,”

          To be frank, Peter had forgotten all about the test. The real reason he looked so stressed was because he happened to be sitting next to the love of his life, and the love of his life happened to be touching his arm. 

          “O-oh! Uh, yeah, thanks. I was just nervous because of… the test,” The bell rang and class began, the professor strictly laying down the rules that were to be followed while the test was in session. Peter could feel the lingering touch of her hand on his skin. It made his head feel fuzzy.

          Peter soon came to learn that sitting next to Grace during a test was a huge mistake. He couldn’t focus on anything other than her-- it didn’t help that she kept shooting him glances from where she sat. The numbers and letters on the paper in front of him seemed to rearrange before his eyes, instead spelling out various taunts. He feels a little pathetic for how easily Grace can unravel him, but hey, he’s a teenager. 

          The silver-haired boy’s eyes were struggling to decipher the words on his page when a small folded square landed on his desk. It came from Grace’s direction, and a small smirk had formed on her lips as she solved equations. Hesitantly, he unfolded the paper and read the neatly written message.

          Hey silver :)

          Peter smiled softly. He quickly pulled a pad of post-it notes out of his backpack and scribbled down a quick reply.

          I have no idea what I’m doing. I think Professor Stedman decided to write our tests in hieroglyphics this time.

          He flicked the note onto her desk and quickly turned his face downward. Class would be over soon, and Peter knew he couldn’t turn in a blank test. He uses his enhanced speed to do his assessment in seconds. Sure, he was almost certain he’d barely reach a passing grade, but hey, he had bigger matters to focus on. By the time he finished, another note landed on his desk.

          That bad, huh? Looks like we better study longer next time. 

          Peter’s heart swelled a bit. He really thought the study sessions were a one-time thing. He’s overjoyed to know he’ll get to see Grace semi-regularly, even if he never manages to ask her out.

          I think I’d rather hang out with you without the looming threat of schoolwork. 

          That’s the closest Peter could get to asking her out. He put deep thought into every word, he examined the phrasing and checked the spelling of every word. His english teacher would be proud.

          That can be arranged ;) 

          Peter had no idea that four words could make him feel so much. He had no idea that 17 letters could make him want to scream in the middle of a silent testing period. His hand was shaking and his careful planning was abandoned as he scribbled back a reply.

          Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?

          Patiently, he waited. He waited for Grace to finish writing her response and he waited for her to toss the note back over. He didn’t wait for more than a few minutes, but it felt like hours. He was panicking, and he was sure she could tell. She was probably joking, right? She was probably writing an awkward clarification-- she was probably explaining that she would actually rather die than be around him for non-academic reasons. He braced himself as the yellow post-it landed on the center of his desk.

          My aunt owns a drive-in a few miles from here and she gave me keys to the projector room and the gate. She managed to snag a copy of The Exorcist-- I thought you’d like to join me during my midnight escapade tomorrow night.

          Peter’s heart stopped. For a moment, he thought his eyes were fooling him. Maybe this was all some sick joke. Maybe he was being set up. Maybe he’ll get in her car tomorrow and she’ll drive him into the woods and murder him. To be completely honest, Peter wouldn’t mind if she murdered him. Peter wrote his reply.

          Really? You want me there? I might be a drag. You could probably find at least 20 other people who would probably be more interesting than me.

          Grace frowned at his response, and suddenly Peter decided he never wanted to see her frown again. She wrote confidently, her words solid and sure.

          You? A drag? Impossible. I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want to be with anyone other than you, Maximoff. 

          This note was his undoing. He couldn’t help himself, he read it over and over and over again-- he almost forgot to respond. He wanted to hold onto it forever, he wanted it to be framed and hung on his wall. Hell, he wanted it tattooed on his arm. Peter had never been so happy while taking a test, that’s for sure. He wasn’t sure exactly what to say; he went from heartfelt responses to witty retorts. Finally, he decided to be totally and completely honest.

          I wouldn’t miss it for the world.

Saturday 

          There was seldom a time in his life where Peter Maximoff felt wholly content. Even in the most peaceful moments, there was always something bothering him, there was always something to pull him back to reality. However, sitting in the back of Grace’s dad’s convertible with the seats down and the roof pulled back, his head resting on her shoulder as they watched a cheesy horror movie, Peter was as close to nirvana as he’d ever been. 

          Life had always been so hard for Peter. He’s always had to fight for his seat at the table, to claw his way into a state of mind that wasn’t a hellhole. It seemed as if the world was plotted against him; he was ostracized from society and taught that he, along with his closest family and friends, were monsters. He never met his father and his mother spent so long fighting her own battles that she forgot to love her kids. Peter had to steal to stay fed, and he had to do his best to raise his little sisters to be good people. But right there, right then? That wasn’t hard. Peter didn’t have to be anyone or do anything-- he just had to exist next to someone who wanted him. That was the easiest thing Peter had ever done.

          Peter wasn’t exactly sure how he got there. Of course, he knew that they had driven to the drive-in, but he wasn’t sure how he was the person next to Grace. They had spoken for one day, maybe two, and somehow he landed himself in the most perfect spot in the entire universe. Less than a week ago, she didn’t even know his name. Or, maybe she did. Maybe she was just like Peter-- maybe she had spent the past year pining for him, and finally she worked up the nerve to just talk to him. Maybe. Peter isn’t complaining either way.

          “Can I ask you a kind of cheesy question?” Peter is startled by the sound of his own voice. Grace sits up and glances at him.

          “Shoot,”

          “Do you-- well, uh, don’t read too much into this, but, do you believe in love at first sight?” God, he sounded awkward. 

          “Nope,” She said bluntly. Peter wasn’t expecting that answer, but he wasn’t exactly disappointed by it. “I mean, it’s kind of a stupid idea, ya know? Like, isn’t there a million poems and sonnets and books written about how love is this weird complicated monster of a feeling? I don’t think you can really love someone just by looking at them. You can love the idea of a person, sure, or maybe the look of a person, but you can’t love that person. Because a person is so much more than ‘first sight’,” she sighs. “I don’t know, maybe I’m being a killjoy. It just seems dumb to me-- dumb and, I don’t know, exclusive,”

          Peter stops to think for a moment. He steps out of his lovesick chaotic hellbrain and looks at his feelings from an outside perspective. He thinks back to the kingdom he created in his brain-- a kingdom built on a foundation of sand. Or, less than sand. Holographic sand, because the sand he built his kingdom on wasn’t real. He made a mental note that ‘Holographic Sand’ is a kickass band name, then resumed his impromptu soul-searching. She was right-- he could see  that now. Scott was right, too. You really can’t love someone you don’t know, because if you don’t know them, you fill in the gaps. You fill in the gaps with what you think fits, and then the other person stops being them and starts being parts of you. Peter suddenly felt weird.

          “I’m sorry if I said something wrong,” Grace interjects after a while. Peter hadn’t realized he’d been silent for so long.

          “You didn’t say anything wrong. On the contrary, you, uh, you made things a little bit more… right, in my brain. You somehow managed to take a little chunk of chaos and tame it, which is scarily impressive,” he joked. “Remind me to ask you your opinion on the meaning of life and the root of true happiness,” They’re joined in a chorus of laughter and Peter realizes that his little brain kingdom didn’t hold a candle to the red convertible he was sitting in. She slings an arm around his shoulders.

          “Y’know, I might not know the meaning of life, but I am pretty close to true happiness right now,” She says, softer than before. “Maybe the root of true happiness is you, Maximoff,” She chuckles. Peter smiles. He doesn’t want the ruin the moment-- god, he is desperately trying to keep himself from fucking it up, but he feels obligated to tell her about his year of pining.

          “Hey, uh, can I tell you something kinda pathetic?” He cringes at the way his voice trembled on the last word. 

          “Go ahead, Peter,” She used his name this time. Peter thinks she knows he’s about to say something mildly serious.

          “I’ve liked you since, like, the beginning of the year. You seemed so… cool. So nice. I saw you in the hallways and my stomach would get all twisted up and my head would hurt a little bit. It was like I was allergic to you, but I enjoyed it. That sounds weird. I’m sorry,” He stopped for a moment, attempting to take the buzzing mass of words in his brain and string them into a sentence. “I was too afraid to talk to you, so I, uh, asked around. I got other people’s opinions of you and then built a little version of you in my brain. I realize now that, uhm, the little brain version of you is like, way way worse than actual you,”

          When you talked to me the first time, you threw me off. I wasn’t really nervous about the test-- I mean, yeah I was nervous but that’s not why I looked so pale. I just wasn’t expecting for you to talk to me, like, willingly. So I lied because I was embarrassed. And I lied again in class yesterday. Because I was embarrassed,” He stopped talking. Peter felt like he was digging himself into a hole-- he felt like he killed the sweet sugary mood. 

          “Why are you telling me this?” Grace asked. She didn’t sound angry. She sounded a little confused, and she sounded like she was trying to help Peter decipher his brain. 

          “I don’t know, I guess I just feel bad. I feel bad for, uh, for not being honest I guess. I feel bad for being a coward,” Yep, definitely killed the mood.

          “Peter, you shouldn’t feel bad for being afraid, you know,” She assures. “I would’ve done the exact same thing in your position. Hell, I did do the exact same thing in your position,” That caught Peter’s attention.

          “What?”

          “You didn’t drop your keys in algebra. You dropped them somewhere in bio and my friend found them. She was gonna take them to the office, but I wanted an excuse to talk to you, so I said I’d return them,” Peter couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He was being pranked, he had to be. “Being awkward and weird is like a requirement in high school. Don’t sweat it, Maximoff, really. We’re all the same in that way, I think,”

          Peter felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was feeling too much at that moment, he was letting the bad drown out the good. He didn’t want to remember the day in a sad light.

          “I like you. A lot. Even if you are awkward and weird,” He smiles softly. Slowly, ever so slowly, he intertwined his fingers with those of the girl beside him. It was a simple display of affection, but it made Peter feel like he was floating.

          “I like you too, dork,” Peter smiled widely before placing his head back on Grace’s shoulder. Peter wasn’t paying attention to the movie, in fact, he wasn’t paying attention to anything at all. No, Peter was lost in his head again-- but this time, he wasn’t standing on a false kingdom with a false version of the girl he liked. No, this time, he was thinking about the very real girl beside him. He was thinking about the perfect world they had created in the small car they were in; a perfect world where he felt so much emotion and so, so safe. They had built a utopia in the back seat- a blissful tower of awkwardness and comfort and clumsy confessions. A paradise where he sat in the back seat of a Ford Galaxie with Graciella DeCuerpo, the pretty girl from algebra class, sitting right next to him. 

[acrobaticcatfeline]

The Fear of the Dragonwitch (Triplets Rolorem AU) Chapter 2!!!

Word Count: 2738

TW: Remus, vague mentions of deceit, swearing, arguing, anxiety, self deprecation, that’s it I think, lmk if I missed anything!!!

Notes: Ok so we have a second chapter!!! First chapter here! I have a whole plot line planned out for this fic y’all don’t understand. This chapter is just family dynamics, but next chapter should have more interaction with the other characters. Hopefully I get to a bit of Logan centric things soon but who knows, I certainly don’t! I hope you like it, I really do!

Pairings: Vivian x Mimi (OCxOC), pining demus possibly more in the future!

Summary: “wait you can sing?” roman was just trying to tell his family about this lifechanging event, and no one is taking his concerns seriously! though, maybe a bit of confidence and encouragement from the right people might sooth his anxieties enough for him to actually be excited instead of dreading what was going to happen tomorrow.

“wait you can sing?”

While it was an expected outcome, Roman was in fact rather upset at how quickly his brother had brushed off the important part of his confession. yes, in fact, he can sing but that’s not the point! The point was that he was now being thrown headfirst into a leading role in a musical in front of way more people than he was comfortable with and he was expected to sing and dance as well? While he was catastrophizing Logan pulled up to the curb, stopping to let them get in the car. Unfortunately, while Roman was ready to just drop it and move on, Remus had other plans. As they strapped into the car Remus kept running his mouth.

“seriously though, I've literally never heard you sing how can you be lead role worthy when you’ve never sung in your life? I mean like congrats I guess but like, I dunno if your teachers all that-”

“Remus if I had brought this up so you could tell me how unqualified and bad I was in general I would have asked this morning. I mentioned it because I'm terrified of doing any of this and I can’t let down my teacher. Yes, I can sing, I do it often you just never pay attention to anything in the world other than your stupid bubble. I should have known better than to talk to you about this, of course this is how you'd respond.”

“what's this about?”

Oh yeah, Logan was there too. Well he should probably know too-

“Roman randomly sung in his drama class and got chosen to play the leading role in the schools musical for this quarter.”

Well then. Guess he didn’t need to explain himself. He turned around in his seat, giving a look of ‘what the fuck???’ towards Remus before settling again, ready to be interrogated. However, Logan simply smiled.

“so, your friends absolutely hate you for singing huh?”

“no… shut up!!!”

“hey, congrats ro. You deserve it.”

“no??? no I don’t???? Logan you don’t understand I didn’t even audition!!! He just gave me the part!!! Like firstly that’s unfair to the rest of the kids who actually want parts, and secondly, I don’t want the part?????? This isn’t a ‘congrats!’ occasion!!! This is an ‘oh shit you just got roped into complete life ruining changes because you're an anxious mess who is too afraid to disappoint your teacher’!!!”

“one is easy, the auditions were last week. He already heard all the other options and decided you were the best. You should feel good about that Ro. Two, also simple. I know how much of your free time you spend wishing you could be the one on stage, I see you humming and swaying around the house restraining yourself, you want to do this, you're just scared.”

“…”

“third, change isn’t going to ruin your life. he's not changing your classes, he's not taking you off the tech crew, not much is actually changing. You're using your teacher as extra justification to do something you’ve been dreaming of. You’ve let your anxiety blind you from knowing what you really want. You can’t let it control every aspect of your life.”

“… stop being ‘wise beyond your years’ with me its uncalled for and I'm feeling attacked.”

“listen what do you want from me, I have the knowledge what else am I supposed to do with it at this point?”

“stupid jerk prodigy brother… you stole all the brains from us I can promise.”

“I was by far the smallest of us, I did not absorb your brains.”

“pics or it didn’t happen.”

“insufferable”

 As soon as they were home things flipped on their head. Remus had a call and suddenly he was having a breakdown. He wouldn’t even tell anyone what had happened he was just pacing back and forth with wide eyes filled with tears. He was half delirious and Logan was trying and failing to reason with him.

Re, you're walking a hole in the floor you need to calm down. I know you're having an anxiety attack but-”

“IM NOT HAVING AN ANXIETY ATTACK!!!”

“Remus stop yelling-”

“NO, YOU SHUT UP!!! IM NOT ROMAN I DON’T HAVE ANXIETY IM NOT EVEN STRESSED SEE I AM FINE JUST LEAVE ME BE!!! YOU HAVE THE WRONG BROTHER”

Roman and Logan sat in stunned silence as Remus ran off to his room. Roman gave Logan a look and Logan straightened his back and shook his head trying to be composed, though his steadily shaking hands sold him out. He turned away from where Remus had previously been standing and looked back at Roman, moving his offending hands behind his back.

“well it seems like he refuses to be reasoned with. I suppose we have to wait for mother to get home to fix whatever is bothering him.”

“its not your fault lo.”

“… yes. I- of course I know that why would you think I thought otherwise. It was clearly whatever stressor acting on him and not my involvement. I know that. Of course. It’s the only logical conclusion.”

And almost right after their mom walked in the door. She held a large satchel thrown crossbody and her hair was slicked back held in place with a little hairspray and a bunch of bobby pins. It was styled in a neat bun with her bangs framing her face perfectly. She had small black glasses and little silver earrings and had a simple matte red lipstick perfectly in place. She was wearing a light blue button up shirt and a black blazer with matching dress pants and flats. She looked perfectly put together as she tossed off her shoes and threw her bag onto the couch. She smiled at her kids and finally let herself slouch and look a little more like the mess she felt like.

“hi kids, how was school today?”

Roman shot a look at Logan before answering.

“well, um there was a lot, and though I want to tell you, Remus had a meltdown and we need help to get him back. Logan tried but he wouldn’t listen.”

“oh, geez ok um, Lo could you please grab my computer from my car? I have to finish something up later, and Ro could you pop the clam chowder on the stove? It was gonna go with dinner, but I know how much Rem loves it. Besides there should be plenty of the French mac that Mimi makes to feed us tonight. I’ll go work things out with him.”

 “hey kiddo? Can I come in?”

Vivian Royale had a knack for pulling her kids out of their heads enough to actually fix problems, but her son Remus was usually rather self sufficient in that regard, while Logan and Roman both had anxiety and Roman had the rest stacked on top, Remus was rather neurotypical and usually had less issues that required her intervention. That was, until high school hit. His mental health took a rapid hit as soon as he had started high school, and no one quite knew what happened. She knocked on his door, waiting for his answer before stepping in.

“hey bud. What's wrong? I heard you had a bit of an outburst. Can you tell me what happened?”

Remus sat on his bed, a green octopus comforter laid on the bed and his Cthulhu plushie was in his grip. He hid his face in the toy as he mumbled something into it.

“Hun I'm gonna need you to speak up ok? We can’t fix anything if I don’t know what's wrong.”

“it’s dumb.”

“obviously its not to you. If it was it wouldn’t have affected you enough to cause you to yell at your brothers.”

“… I just- it’s so dumb I don’t wanna say it!”

“you're safe here Rem.”

“my friend got asked out by this lame dude in our class. And- and I think I have a crush on him. My friend I mean! And- and I don’t know what I'm supposed to do, I can’t tell him, what if he hates me? I just. I don’t know how to feel I just know it sucks.”

Vivian set a gentle hand on her sons’ shoulder and gave him a soft smile. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I understand Rem. That’s sort of how it felt when I realized I liked Mimi. I've known Mimi since we were kids and it wasn’t until after me and your dad broke up that I realized that I loved her. We were in our twenties and I had three newborns and my best friend jumped headfirst into that without hesitation. Is he actually going on the date?”

“no. he's not his type, I guess. That’s what he said at least.”

“then ask him out! He's not interested in them, and he called you to tell you. You obviously matter to each other, even if he doesn’t like you back, I don’t think it would change anything. Just go for it, what's the worst that could happen?”

“…you're right. I-I guess I’ll talk to him later.”

“atta boy!!! Now come on, Roman has clam chowder on the burner and Mimi should be home soon!”

 The four of them sat down at the dining table eating and Logan and Remus recounted their day to their mom, Roman staying quiet for the time being, only wanting to say his announcement once. It was 15 minutes before Mimi got home in her fancy outfit. Her red hair was everywhere, curled and messy and absolutely her. She wore a black dress that had a cat head shape on it, with a pink bow at her waist and where the cats head didn’t cover was a see-through mesh. She had a light pink tank top under it and had a pink and white jacket about 2 sizes too big for her on around her shoulders. Her shoes were shiny pink stilettos that made a pretty click clack noise as she walked. She held a pretty black purse and she had little unicorn earrings that looked adorable with her pink lipstick and black to pink cat eye. She set her bag down on the table next to the door and slipped out of her shoes neatly setting them next to the door before slipping over to the table where everyone was sitting. She ruffled Roman and Remus’ hair before giving a big smile to them all.

“how are my boys doin? I see Viv pulled out the chowder, I hope everything is good!”

“I'm really gay!”

“me too Hun, what's new?”

They all let out a fit of giggles. Mimi went to serve herself a bowl of soup and Logan and Remus repeated their day back to her. When they had finished and Roman still hadn’t spoken, she leaned on her arm with a gentle smile and encouraged him to speak. He nodded and cleared his throat.

“um… it was pretty average all around, but this morning Mr. Sanders heard me singing and um, well he uh,”

Logan gave his hand a small squeeze from under the table. He swallowed and finally finished.

“he cast me as the lead in our coming musical.”

Mimi and his mom stopped mid bite of soup, staring at him intently and he wanted to melt through the floor. They swallowed their mouthfuls and looked at each other before turning back to him with wide smiles. Suddenly Logan and Roman clasped their hands over their ears as the two started squealing at the top of their lungs, Mimi jumping out of her seat, jumping up and down. when they finally stopped screaming, Mimi was still bouncing and had Vivian’s hand in hers.

“oh my god Roman!!! Our baby boy oh I'm so so proud of you!!!!!”

“Roman sweetheart, that’s incredible!!! Wait, but weren’t auditions last week?”

“yeah, um, he just had me sing and dance again and he gave me the part.”

“Roman that’s incredible!!!!!!!!! Oh, I knew it!!! Didn’t I tell you Vivi? Didn’t I tell you that Ro was gonna be an incredible performer? I remember, I remember when I first saw him when he was an itty-bitty peanut that I told you he was gonna be a star in the showbiz!!! Oh, he's our little star oh I'm so proud!!!!!!”

“yes, babe I remember, calm down you are going to make him explode! Roman I really am so proud of you honey.”

“oh, oh oh!!! Roman you should sing for us!!! You always stop singing whenever either of us enter the room, I want to hear you sing!!! If you're ok of course, no pressure”

Roman’s face was the shade of an apple. His stepmom was always over the top with support, but this was more than he expected. He was about to nod when he heard Logan make a confused noise.

“am I really the only person who has heard him sing? He never stops singing its like his default mode! He's always making music whether through his fidgets or humming or singing, I don’t know how you guys have missed it!”

“I mean, I do my best to keep people from hearing me but you're sorta the exception. You're calm and you won’t like, smother me.”

“… well then. I also vote for a song.”

“hold on, lets get dinner ready first and then we can fully focus on him”

 They had sat down with their plates and Roman was playing with his ring to keep him calm as 4 pairs of eyes stared at him waiting to hear him sing. Logan gave him a small smile and that was enough to help him start.

As the smile fell from your face, I fell with it Our faces blue There's a heart stain on the carpet I left it, I left it with you Yeah, the truth is that I'm sorry Though I told you not to worry I'm just some dumb kid Trying to kid myself That I got my shit together So go, get to runnin', won't you hurry? While it's light out, while it's early Before I start to miss any part of this And change my mind, whatever

Logan’s smile widened as he recognized the song. Remus mom and Mimi sat still, with looks of… awe? He was too nervous to analyze their expressions while he was singing. He continued on.

I say I wanna settle down Build your hopes up like a tower I'm giving you the run around I'm just a lost boy Not ready to be found Not ready to be found I'm just a lost boy Not ready to be found

He let his eyes close and his body sway to the song playing along in his head. He didn’t see the looks his moms gave each other, he didn’t see Remus shove Logan with a jealous look screaming that he was bitter he hadn’t heard him sooner. He was absorbed in the song.

I don't care much for locks on the window To keep me at bay I'll leave you one last kiss on your pillow Before I fly away Yeah we knew from the beginning That this wasn't never ending Shouldn't stay too long Cause we're both too young To give into forever

So what are you waiting for? Cause someone could love you more I'm just a lost boy, lost boy So what are you waiting for? Cause someone could love you more I'm just a lost boy, lost boy So what are you waiting for? Cause someone could love you more I'm just a lost boy, lost boy So what are you waiting for? Cause someone could love you more I'm just a lost boy, lost boy

Roman quickly finished the song and hesitantly opened his eyes. The amazed faces that they all had completely floored him. Mimi got out of her seat and surrounded him in a hug, which was objectively adorable due to her barely reaching his collarbone. Remus had an odd look on his face with a mixture of awe and curiosity. Mom sat with a wide grin on her face that matched Logan’s. He felt happy and at ease and calm. And he felt much better about his new part in the musical seeing his family filled with some interesting type of pride.

Taglist: @fivebyfive-finebyfive @tacohippy56900 @analogical-mess @crookedlyoptimisticdestiny @angels-and-dreams @fandomloverangel @demented-dukey @karmels-stuff @demented-dukey (sorry if you didn’t want to be tagged, you seemed interested in it)

Let me know if you want to be tagged in my writing!!!

Thank you for reading I will see you later ladies lords and nonbinary royalty!!!

[radiantbeams]

whats your fav fanfic ma 👀

ic ant beliVE ur making mE CHOOSE

also whoa this list got away from me

here are my top 10 ~personal~ favorites with a description why they’re so amazing (mostly just me yelling) 

bc im horrible person i ordered them by how much i love them plus the last three that aren’t larry

through struggles, to the stars by thedeathchamber - 80K

Star Trek AU okay need I say more?? (im gonna) I LOVE the character development in this fic okay it’s already pretty long but please I need at least 100K more in this universe, star trek was my first love and like wow my two favorite things combined? brilliant! excellent writing and i especially loved how Louis was portrayed

above your head by deadspy - 57K

so I think now we’ve established I fucking love space, I’m also a HUGE fan of NASA (I lowkey am looking at buying a house there in Cape Canaveral) some of the science is off but lol i understand why they wrote it like that and you’d never even know unless you spend most of your free time researching space travel (like I do) the slow burn hurts my heart but in like the best of ways

Cutie and the Boxer by anomalation - 37K trigger warnings for past child abuse, past sexual abuse, ptsd, anxiety attacks

wow okay SO I have a lot a lot to say about this one, there are 2 parts but it’ll never be enough ! amazing asexual representation, beautifully written characters, Louis in this fic is everything I hope to have in a partner one day tbh, I’m always looking for more asexual characters in fics (also everywhere) but I really don’t think I’ll ever top this one I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve probably re-read it at least 5 times since I found it 

Carnation, Lily, Lily, Rose by certainsadness - 103K

I dont know ??? how to explain ??? how much i love this fic !!! after reading this I became a fake art historian also I think I’ve seen a john singer sargent in person but I’ve gone to so many stupid art exhibits with my parents it all kind of blends together rich people probs ANYWAY this fic is as beautiful as the painting it’s named after, excellent characterization, limited angst (enough to make it interesting but not too much that my heart hurts), and lots of hoity-toity art references 

Like Candy In My Veins by littlelouishiccups - 31K

petition for part 2 !!!! it’s A/B/O which I know some people don’t read but TRUST me you have /got/ to read this one, the alpha/omega thing isn’t even that big of a deal? maybe kind of, but it’s written in such a wonderful way that it doesn’t feel forced like it sometimes can, also: power bottom louis what more do you want? (also, anon, this is the fic i was talking about reading when you asked me for this rec)

Haven by xxPayne - 35K

so I talk about this fic a lot bc it’s actually relatively accurate as far as BDSM relationships/clubs go (yes, I’ve been to some, and yes, I’ve been trained by a Dom, so i know what I’m talking about lol) the sex is kinky but (obviously bc it’s 35K) it’s like porn ~~with feelings~~ i love it and tbh after this I’m probably going to re-read it again (and again)

The King of Spades by hazmesentir - 109K

this fic had ALL of my favorite things okay, rugged Manly Man™ louis, misguided oc kid that louis identifies with and mentors, damsel in distress harry, guns, violence, tattoos. i mean it’s Gay Mafia?? does it get any better than that?? no. no it does not.

the next three aren’t larry so like FYI

The Stars Above Us by 606, create_serenity(Sivany) - Drarry, 19K

surprise surprise another fic about space, and it’s a kidfic (I mean, Teddy’s in it so not ~really~ but) i would rec this to anyone and everyone and i may be biased bc i fucking love harry potter but even if you dont read drarry this one’s worth reading. you’ve got sad draco and thick-headed harry aka perfection

He Who Must Not Be Normal by lettered - Drarry, 40K

so ive read a lot of drarry fics okay and coming across one where /draco/ is the one rescuing harry is pretty rare, but i LOVE it and this fic portrays them both so beautifully, idk i just really love this fic it’s very close to my heart and ive read it many many times

Love and the Purple Palace by  takhallus - Tomlinshaw, 23K

this was one of my first tomlinshaw fics i read and like, nothing will ever compare. their relationship in this fic is perfect and unique and youve got a lot of miscommunication and stubbornness (a defining factor for any good tomlinshaw fic) plus bottom louis plus a relatable quality to it that i cant find anywhere else

so this was about a week late SORRY but thank you for asking this is way more than you probably wanted but seriously, go read all these fics sorry some of them are pretty long

lmk if there are any discrepancies or any of the links dont work please :)

as usual, if your fic is on here and you would prefer me not to rec it just message me (with proof you are the author) and i’ll gladly remove it from this list

if you have any favorite fics feel free to rec them to me im always looking for new ones to read! 

also stay on the lookout for my famous/non-famous au rec coming soon :)