#also also i have started writing an explanation of the basic mechanics so you can play casually

[exiledtroll]

it's more like fucking her requires turning you into a tech gorgon

Some of the things trans girls want to fuck have me convinced you are seeing an entirely distinct visual spectrum than i am

[chocodile]

Are there ghosts in your amaranthine world..? Or ancient sailor’s curses?

I may be interested in inventing a character… is that allowed? I’m not much of an artist but I could write something for you!

"Ghosts? How absurd! An educated wizard like myself would never entertain such superstitious nonsense!"

(...Now, if you'll excuse him, he's gotta go research ancient eldritch powers hidden beneath the earth's surface and finish working on a potion made out of his unicorn buddy's magical blood. You know, reasonable, scientifically grounded stuff like that!)

So, to answer your question: Real ghosts = not canon, curses = yes canon, and could resemble a haunting. More explanation of how that would work under the cut:

You can attach enchantments to objects, so there would be nothing stopping you from attaching a baneful curse to something instead. A lasting enchantment generally requires a power source or some kind of upkeep to keep it "charged"... ones worn by a living creature can draw upon the body's own magical energy field... but can also be powered by the "background radiation" present in unusually magically charged environments. There are absolutely "cursed" forests where travelers suddenly find all the food in their rucksack spoiling overnight, areas of ocean where compasses stop working and the wind won't blow, that sort of thing.

So, you could also have a magically charged area that was "haunted" and caused visitors' minds to start playing tricks on them, perceiving illusions, hearing murmurs and clips of nonsense speech, experiencing objects falling over/moving on their own, etc. Any naturally generated "haunted" location would be pretty basic in its illusions, though. Something with more structure (recognizable figures, coherent speech) would have to be an enchantment engineered by a wizard on purpose, and would take quite a lot of skill.

Non-wizards often refer to locations with unsettling or dangerous enchantments as cursed or haunted, though wizards who understand the underlying magical mechanics behind those phenomenons might roll their eyes at that framing, insisting it's no different than when the town healer enchants a necklace to ward off sickness--just undirected and on a larger scale.

ALSO to answer your other question: You are absolutely welcome and encouraged to invent a character if you are so inclined! I would love to see what you come up with!

[frozenjokes]

Hermitdragons Masterpost (Wings of Fire x Hermitcraft/Third Life AU)

Grainshifter (Grian) was born to the Nightwings under one full moon, giving him the power to read minds. However, as fortold by Nightwing seers, he also possesses animus magic, a power that the Nightwings will use to bring their tribe into greater glory, becoming Watchers that feed off the strong emotions of the other dragon species, particularly fear. When Grainshifter attends Jade Mountain Academy in disguise as a Skywing called Grian, the Watchers take notes, and years later they surprise him with his very own death game featuring all his friends.

hello hello! this fic is on hiatus, and while I would like to finish it one day, it is my first foray into fic writing basically ever, and my writing has improved dramatically since a year ago when I started to write this. It’s been a while since I’ve reread this, but I have been told it’s good! lol. However! There’s still a lot of content (70k words and SO MUCH ART) so let’s get into it!

Fic One - Ruler of Everything

After Grian betrays Nightwatcher secrets to one of his best friends, Scar, he is punished by the Nightwatchers and placed into a death game with all of his past friends from the academy. However, there are two dragons he does not know; Scott, a Seawing who seems mostly normal, and Martyn, a dragon whose mind he can not read at all. Whose mind no one can read. Whose body can not be manipulated by animus magic. Soon, it is clear that Grian is not the only dragon here that is being punished.

Fic Two - Mechanical Hands (this fic does not exist but in theory it would after the first)

Grian comes to terms with his relationship with the Nightwatchers, finally realizing and accepting that they do not love him, and only want to use him. He teams up with Martyn in a shared goal of destroying animus magic, but a massive problem still stands; they’re both still stuck in these death games. And their friends are still under the Nightwatchers’ magical control. As the games go on, things are starting to feel hopeless, but revealing the secret of Martyn’s immunity to animus magic that he has so desperately tried to keep might just be the solution these trapped dragons need to escape.

Beyond these summaries, I’m going to try and keep these story explanations brief, however, if you’re interested is All Of The Art + commentary + more story explored through the art, then you can keep reading under the cut :) also just as a warning there is a lot of undetailed cartoon blood below

Designs

before writing, these were my first pass of most of the designs in the series! As you can probably tell from the references of the main three characters at the top, Scar, Grian, and even Martyn have changed quite a bit, and if I ever return to this series, other designs will probably change as well. Except Joel and Bdubs. Those are peak. The biggest change from these designs, is that Jimmy is not actually a dragon in this fic!(which is why I included the third picture with him, Scott, and Grian) He is super human, and he dies first for A REASON. He just looks the way canon Jimmy does, minus the wings.

Full Pieces

I made two fully rendered pieces for this fic. To the left is a scene from the academy where Pearl, Ren, and BigB are play fighting in the mountains while Grian and Scar watch. Grian is very uptight in the academy, struggling socially, and his friends, painfully aware Grian comes from a bad home situation and possibly raised in a cult, are trying to help him relax and have a nice time in school while he has the chance.

On the right is a scene from far into the death game, where Scar is overtaken by the magic of his red life, and is threatening to force Grian to kill all three Dogwarts dragons, and at the same time, blowing himself up in the process. The dragon on the left is Skizz and I hate his design, however the little tie thing is hilarious.

Chapter Headers

I made a ton of headers for the chapters of this fic, though most of them are broken on ao3 as far as I’m aware. However, you can see them here!

dragons featured in order of appearance: Scar, Pearl, BigB, Grian, Martyn, Scott, Jimmy, Ren. This isn’t actually every header but I’m going to run out of images and these cover most of them. The ones I left out aren’t anything special.

Mini Comics + Misc Art

I have literally run out of image slots. But that’s okay (most of the stuff was covered, but if you want to scroll through the hermitdragons tag then feel free). Hope you enjoyed regardless! This series is still very close to my heart, and even though I kind of lost touch with it, it’s something I still love dearly. Thanks for reading :)

[wanderingmoonmen]

Hi! I just wanted to come here and gush about how much I love your half doomed and semi sweet series real quick! I binged it all in two days and you guys have done such a good work on it. I honestly think the first installment is probably one of my favorite pieces of fanfic ever just due to how great the mix of character interaction and action is within the fic. I also just adore how Mary is handled with James and how he realizes that Mary wouldn’t say a lot of the stuff his hallucinations are saying but also it’s still overwhelming and hurts despite this! I’ve also been enjoying the lot more day to day ness of the sequel fic too, where issues still come up but it’s also not, running from monsters all the time (unless those monsters are silent hill remnants/bad thoughts, sorry James!).

I don’t know if it’s ever detailed anywhere, but what exactly inspired you to write the sequel fic if you don’t mind me asking?

aaaaa this has been sitting in my inbox for a bit because I saw the nice words and it makes me melt into a puddle and I want to take time to properly answer your question. Thank you ❤️

I ended up writing way too much in my answer so the tldr; I have way too many thoughts and ideas and with @fly-rye 's encouragement and participation we're now in a place where there's a whole timeline and already drafted events still out there to do.

My ramblings and more detailed explanation under the cut

I think in the preface to Promise, or somewhere, I've said that literally all of this started as a joke. I'm also going to keep to my guns of coming up with it back in 2018 (albeit a joke that I kept to myself lmao). I had sort of kept my 'joke' meeting in some sort of filing cabinet in my mind. And honestly if @fly-rye wasn't a super cool and amazing friend and didn't indulge my bullshit we wouldn't be here (also I'm pretty sure that DBD audio of Leon sounding very......... y'know affected it too. I also started a playthrough of RE4 on Oculus at the same time. Also also this literally started I swear a couple months before remakes were formally announced.) ANYWAY this isn't an answer to your question, I just like rambling.

Now that sort of plays into what inspired the sequel, I think I am a 'too many thoughts head full' type of person and just have too much to say sometimes (and perhaps also too much imagination). I also like trying to explain things so the in-fiction lore makes sense (like... extensively thinking about how to actually for real explain how James got to Spain or What Is The Scientific Explanation For Silent Hill etc etc. I just like to make things Work in my head, idk how to explain it).

When Promise turned into a project, there was more serious thought into how their relationship worked and how to explain Leon's character changes in future media. Then it was a thought of 'how could things be better for the both of them?' Or 'what if they were allowed to heal and grow as people' and whatever else that can be narratively satisfying about seeing hurt people finding each other and helping each other.

Then that turns into 'let's put that thing into a situation.'

Which, of course, there are A Lot Of Situations considering Leon has... 4 movies and 1 game he's in after RE4.

There's also the interest of exploring the mechanics of Silent Hill and exploring how SH3/SH4 can become entangled with the mess.

There's then the flip side of the domestic life and living as """""normal"""""" people.

So to fill the gaps between Situations we've brainstormed a Lot of timeline stuff and certain relationship beats that should occur (yknow like their gay wedding, spoilers). I'm also trying to show how James integrates with the rest of the RE crew and with Harry and Heather.

So... Basically I've thought... a lot about how to make their ship and this universe integrate into all the canon events and have some random drafts for it (of course much credit goes to @fly-rye to a) indulging me b) getting sucked into this c) being super supportive d) brainstorming the Situations with me) because there's just so much potential!!

Now, this is kinda where I get stuck and why there hasn't been more posted, if you're wondering

I like to be thorough and in my head I think I need to explain and show character development in detail because, again, in my head, I think it'll then be viewed as 'bad' or idk, 'not well written' or 'not making sense' (as if any of this makes sense). So I feel like I need to show how these relationships develop so it's more convincing or whatever. I think about how some media is panned or criticized for bad relationship writing, ie 'we've been best friends for 10 years and he really helped me out, right bob?" Like who says that.

So in starting PE I wanted to try and thoroughly and logically explain how we get to the current point.

Obviously this is also literally fanfic and [insert meme here] it's my AU and I can do what I want [just tell you This Is How It Is]

But... I'm not great at writing fluff or character interaction stuff just for the sole purpose of development. I thrive on hurt/comfort and angst stuff (if that wasn't obvious) whereas trying to come up with story beats for a beach trip or something is much more difficult for me. So I've struggled to move forward because it's just not my forte and it takes practice and patience...

Unfortunately, I can be rather impatient.

It's really annoying when you're trying to be thorough! So even when I've got a plan, I just get annoyed with my writing because I just wanna get to the good stuff!!! Why can't I write this out faster!!!! I need to beam my thoughts into a document!!!

I keep on feeling like I'm making empty promises, but I do really wanna keep writing and posting. I am trying and I think about sitting down and writing a lot, but between all those other hangups and not having time, I just haven't.

I know a lot of this isn't exactly what you asked, but I hope it answers your question and then some. Thank you again for reaching out it means a lot to hear from readers!!!

[keeper-not-hero]

Bizarro (or maybe not-so-bizarro) idea: Horde-based TTRPG because I wanna play as the Director:tm:. Enemies are represented by dice (or aything that can track numbers), players are cool player models.

A basic enemy group is represented by a d6+3, a larger group by a d10+5, and a horde by a d100+50. There can (and should be!) multiple of the first two groups, with the Horde being saved for climaxes or finales.

There are also stronger enemies, Disruptors, your Smoker / Witch / Hunter etc type of enemies who *also* get cool models.

I'm torn between players having classes and it being up to items to customize you, because I *do* like leveling up in-games... but as a very rough prototype, no classes, just weapon types and auxiliary items.

Weapons have massive dice (like, a basic pistol being a 1d12) BUT they also, more importantly, have a "base" damage number (oh no, the Pistol's base number is 3! that's so weak!) to represent spraying and praying.

Broad strokes, not finished / put too much thought into: Melees deal damage per-"group"/enemy dice, making them great chaff-clearing weapons but overwhelmed by hordes. Sniper weapons that are great at picking out targets by having massive base damage but can't deal base damage to chaff (so if I shot a sniper into a horde, even if it's total damage is 1d6+40, anything above the 1d10 would go down the drain, to represent what few collat kills you could get). Auto-rifles and burst weapons that deal great dice damage but low base damage (to make them great at horde-clearing but weaker at murdering Disruptors due to RNG), explosives having a radius, etc

Played on a Candyland / Monopoly-esque tile-based board, making a map with a "start" and "exit" that players must reach. Just like in L4D, they start with only tier-0 / tier-1 weapons and must scavenge their way into better gear, with stuff like medkits, explosives, etc also being spread around the map as decided by the GM. The maps have at minimum two "crescendo" events, AKA horde-spawners. Depending on how damage ends up being balanced, it could be one or multiple horde dice to accomodate the usual 4 player party. Crescendos will be explained shortly.

Players have 3 actions + movement a turn, the broadth of 'em all being added later 'cuz I'm not writing a rulebook I'm writing a concept. Each square takes around 3 full movements from all players to cross onto the next one.

These crescendos range from the usual L4D rush to somewhere / hold out X turns to stuff like a proper puzzle, maybe having to backtrack to find a missing key or turn on a generator, having to pick out a specific pod around the map for the keycards / explosives etc.

At the safe house, it can be the end of the game as a one-shot or one out of multiple sessions, with the meta progression occurring through player skills with weapons, activities, and possibly unlocking perks.

For role-playing purposes it might be interesting to dip into Darkest Dungeon 2 and add a relationship mechanic where friendly fire, having to do stuff alone, or a stress-esque mechanic cause conflict or a bond through players, that also mechanically helps them, encouraging group play to buff yourself and others

The DM of course controls the hordes, the pods, the placement of weapons, and can adjust things on the fly juts like the actual game director would. If the players are doing too well, throw an unexpected horde or Boss enemy at 'em. If the players are roughed up, throw some healing.

Could even have NPC survivors as a mechanic and an explanation to how other PCs show up, as well as having ranged "bosses" to take down. Stealth gameplay would also be an interesting idea to try and implement, because I think a lot of people would get a kick of sneaking past a gigantic horde, one bad roll away from being turned into meat.

[builtbybrokenbells]

Spitfire | vi

Rumours spread around the internet, causing turmoil like never before. In a desperate attempt to forget,y/n takes solace in the bar, making it a mission to forget him completely. Jake is left wondering if he’ll ever get a chance to explain himself. When her roommates try to do damage control, they’re left wondering if the Twitter feed and speculation is really the biggest issue, or her way of covering up her crippling fear of falling in love.

Read part five here

Read part seven here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader

Word count: 7.5k

Warnings: cheating/cheating rumours, Twitter, binge drinking, unhealthy coping mechanisms, lots of angst, crying, like a 2 second mention of throwing up (very short because i hate throwing up with a violent passion), basically this whole chapter is an angsty shitshow because I live for drama, sorry if I missed any!

so obvi i had to throw in some heartbreak to offset all the fluffy happiness, cause that’s just who i am. lots of projection in this one (hey, at least I’m owning up to my flaws) but this is just an angsty mess before we get to a happy ending cause I wanted to showcase how detrimental the internet/social media can be and how bad ldr sucks 😁 as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻 (also thank you all so much for the love on this series. im having a lot of fun writing it and it overjoys me to see that other people like it, too)

~

Your feet carried you to the living room, speed faster than you’d ever ran before. When you turned the corner of the hallway, your footing slipped and you had to brace yourself on the wall. Eve was sprawled on the couch. She looked to you, eyes wide with panic, scared that something bad happened. “What has got you all riled up?” She threw her phone beside her, sitting upright.

“I-I, uh, I just…” you were breathless, heart pounding in your chest as you tried to formulate your words. “The… t-the-“

“Just fucking spit it out!” She laughed, clearly understanding that your rapid approach was due to good news rather than bad.

“Okay, sorry.” You ran your hand through your hair, pushing it away from your face. “I think I’m gonna throw up.” You laughed, fanning your face with your hands. Tears were threatening to spill over, and your skin was prickling with excitement. “So I started my internship on Monday, right?”

“Yeah, I know.” She said, waiting for an explanation.

“And I met everyone in the ‘office’.” You air-quoted office, knowing you’d only interact with them over zoom meetings for the four month duration. “But I met the head of the department today, the big boss.” She gave an eager nod. “He told me that he read over my research report. He said it was one of the best he’s ever read.”

“No way!” Eve was standing now, bouncing with just as much enthusiasm.

“Yeah, but that’s not it.” You stopped her. “I mean yeah, that’s fantastic, but it’s way better than that.” You felt the tears begin to roll down your cheeks, too caught up in the situation to care. “He wants to continue on with it. He told me he thinks the idea is fantastic and worth the money. I’m not going to be working on, or following up somebody else’s research this summer. They want to work on mine.” Her eyes were wide, her previous demeanour completely frozen. After a few seconds, she exploded into a scream and engulfed you into a hug. You held on to her, wanting to yell just as badly. “Can you punch me? Just to make sure I’m not dreaming?”

She pulled back, shaking her head and wiping your tears away. “Not a dream.” She laughed, pulling you in for another embrace. “Y/n, they picked your topic from an undergraduate, not even a masters or a PhD. Do you know how huge that is?”

“I know! He told me he’s been waiting to work with me since the end of my first year. Apparently I’m the at the top of the program.” You were almost lightheaded, not being able to process what was happening.

“I’m so proud of you.” She said, taking your hands into hers. She gave them a squeeze, bringing you back to reality. “Did you tell anyone else?” You shook your head.

“No, I was going to text the sibling group chat and get it all over at once. I want to call Jake, but I’m just not sure if he’s busy or not.” You explained.

“Call him! If he’s busy, he won’t answer. I think this is way too important to wait to tell him.” She encouraged you.

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna… I’ll go call him.” You breathed.

“Okay, but I’m taking you to dinner tonight to celebrate. We’ll go to The Garden, maybe get some drinks afterwards. It is Friday, after all.”

“Yeah, that sounds amazing. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” You assured her.

“Good, now go call your loverboy.” She shooed you away. You jogged back to your room, letting the door fall shut behind you.

It had been almost two weeks since Jake left, meaning that your trip to Atlanta was right around the corner. Your brothers left the week prior, leaving your home quieter than you liked it. It was amazing having everyone there, but it was terrible when they all had to leave. You were adjusting, though, and knowing you were going to see Jake in a few days was really helping.

You slipped on the hoodie he’d so graciously left for you, and found the bottle of cologne, giving the front a small spritz. The smell immediately swarmed your senses, making you close your eyes in bliss. When your end of day meetings came to a close, you practically lived in his sweater. Him being gone this time was a little easier now that you had small reminders of him. You pulled your phone out, dialling his number off by heart. Your hands were vibrating as you clicked the speakerphone button. The dial tone rang a few times, but you couldn’t help but hope he’d pick up. You tapped your fingers on the wood of your desk, trying to remember if he told you he had a show or an interview that day.

“Hey, it’s Jake. Leave a message.” Your stomach sank with disappointment, but you didn’t let it last too long.

“Hey, rockstar. Big news, call me as soon as you can. Love you.” You didn’t let the voicemail linger, ending the call as soon as you finished speaking. As you stared at the screen of your phone, you realized you hadn’t heard from Jake since the night before. It was very strange of him not to send a good morning text, but you were so busy with work meetings all day you hadn’t picked up your phone at all.

You debated calling again, but decided against it. Instead, you went to your contact list and clicked on Josh’s name. You were expecting the same empty tone, but you were surprised when he answered after the first ring. “Hey, mama.” His usually happy tone was so comfortably familiar.

“Hey, Josh.” You couldn’t help but smile. Josh had rapidly become another brother to you, just the same as Sam and Danny.

“What could I have possibly done to deserve a call from such an angel?” You rolled your eyes, a laugh making its way out. Josh was a very verbal person, and extremely friendly, too. At first, you were a bit thrown off by his strong compliments, but you’d gotten over it quite quickly once you realized Jake never batted an eye about it. Clearly there was a lot of mutual trust between the two.

“Just missed your sweet voice, is all.” You joked. He let out a small chuckle.

“You’re too kind,” he said “but really, what’s up? Usually I’m the one calling you.”

“Don’t say it like that, that makes me sound like an asshole.” You replied.

“You know what I mean.” You could practically hear his eye roll through the phone.

“I know,” you assured him. “I was just calling to see if you knew where Jake was. I haven’t heard from him all day and I got some pretty big news. I called to tell him and he didn’t answer. I thought maybe you were all doing rockstar stuff, but it seems like you were waiting around for someone to call you.” You teased.

“Maybe I just drop everything to talk to you. Have you thought about that?”

“Whatever you say, Joshua.”

“To answer your question, I have no idea where he is. Today is kind of a day off, I guess. We’ve got a meeting tonight, but that’s more of us just hanging out with the managers.”

“Oh, that’s weird, then.” You said, uneasiness sprouting in your stomach.

“He could be asleep, or in music writing mode. I’ll get to the bottom of it for you.” He promised.

“Thanks, super-sleuth.” You laughed.

“What’s your big news?” Josh asked, changing the subject. You didn’t think the topic change was suspicious, more or less just Josh being nosy.

“I don’t know if Jake would forgive me if I told you first.” You were being honest. Jake wanted to be your biggest supporter, and you didn’t know if you telling Josh first would cause any issues. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt him.

“Ah, come on, mama. He didn’t answer, so it’s his loss. Besides, we’re practically the same person. Same DNA and all, you know?”

“I don’t think that makes you the same person, honey.” You giggled. “I think you just want to know.”

“Duh,” he scoffed “I won’t tell him, I promise. I’m really good with secrets.” Somehow, you weren’t sure if you believed him. But you were so excited about your accomplishment that you were itching to tell anyone who was willing to listen.

“Fine, okay, but promise you won’t say anything.”

“I won’t, I swear!” You could hear the giddiness in his voice.

“Okay, I’ll hold you to it, then.” You told him. “Basically, I started my summer internship with the biotechnology society this week. Today I met the head of the department and he told me he’s been wanting to work with me for a long time. He read my report about non-invasive blood-glucose tests and he wants to take it a step further. He thinks it’s worth the time and money.” You rushed out, feeling the excitement take over again.

“Y/n, that is fantastic!” He said. You could feel his smile in his words. One thing you adored about the four boys is that they all seemed incredibly genuine.

“Thank you, Josh. It’s super cool. Usually they only study graduate topics, but I guess he thinks I have what it takes.” You breathed, barely believing your own words.

“You absolutely have what it takes, mama, and Jake is going to be over the moon when you tell him.” You felt a smile break out on your lips.

“Thank you.” You really meant it. Jake and his brothers were always seemed so proud of you, and it made you feel so important. “I can’t wait to see you guys this weekend.”

“We’re really looking forward to it, too. Jake’s been so uptight when we practice because he wants to impress you at the show. It’s starting to get unbearable.” You couldn’t help but laugh, shaking your head in disbelief as if he could see you.

“I’m going to be the biggest fan there, even if he forgets how to play every song.”

“I know that, y/n. He just wants to show off for you. I, on the other hand, don’t have to practice. I already know I’ll win you over.” You rolled your eyes.

“Uh-huh,”

“Oh come on, what’s the matter with a little brotherly competition?” He joked.

“It seems more like a pissing contest.” You said. “Well, as nice as it’s been talking to you, I must go call my own brothers and tell them the news. They’ll be really upset if they find out I told you, first.”

“Like I said, my lips are sealed.” He promised. “I’m really happy for you, y/n.” His earlier tone of humour was gone, replaced with sincerity.

“Thank you, and thanks for picking up.” You said.

“As if I’d ignore you. I’ll find out what’s up with Jake and let you know. Talk soon?”

“Of course. Talk to you later, Josh.” You bid your goodbye. He hung up first, leaving you staring at the blank screen. Worry started to consume you, unsure of what Jake could be up to. The radio silence was extremely strange.

Before calling your own siblings, you decided to jump in the shower. You connected to your Bluetooth speaker, playing music softly in the background as you undressed and turned the faucet on. You climbed in, humming softly to the first song that came up on shuffle. You washed your hair and worked at getting all of the knots out. You took your time washing your body, letting the hot water sooth your stiffness from sitting in an office chair all day. You even took the time to exfoliate and shave. When you stepped out, you felt like a new person. You dried off, wrapping your hair in a towel, and throwing on an oversized t-shit and some sweatpants.

You went back to your room and threw your old clothes in your laundry basket. As you sat on the edge of your bed, your phone chimed from beside you. Your eyes fell on the screen, trying to make out who the message was from. Josh’s name was showing in the notification bar, so you picked it up to read what he said.

Twin Rockstar

Hey, checked on Jake. Don’t think he’s in his room. Will let you know when I find him :)

You typed a quick reply before clicking on your brothers contact. You figured you shouldn’t put off telling them the news any longer, and Sam would be the most likely to answer. You told him you needed him to call you ASAP, throwing your phone back on the mattress. You got up, moving to the closet and scouring through your heaps of clothes. Your hands settled on a simple red dress. Enough to look classy, but not enough to catch too much attention. You threw it on, spritzing some perfume and throwing on some deodorant. As you took your hair down to dry, you started on your makeup. You didn’t put on too much, just enough to accentuate your features.

You finished with swiping on the same lipstick you’d worn the night you met Jake. It was your favourite one before that night, but ever since it had caught his attention, it was the only one you liked to wear. Just as you were finishing up, your phone began to ring. You shuffled over, grabbing it off the mattress and accepting the video call. “Hello, Samuel.” You said, looking over his face.

“So you saw it, too?” He asked, forgoing any type of greeting. You raised an eyebrow, confused at what he could be talking about. He watched you carefully, quickly realizing that you did not want to call him for the same reason. “Oh, nothing.” He said, sheepishly. Your eyes hardened, not willing to play the game with him. He’d always done that; start a sentence or a story and try to change topics. Usually it was only when something bad happened. He hated giving bad news.

“What, Sam?” You pried, waiting for him to give in.

“Nothing, y/n. It was probably just a rumour anyway.”

“Just tell me, please.” You sighed. He shifted uncomfortably under your stare, but eventually conceded.

“I saw something. It’s probably nothing, I just thought you saw it, too, and that’s why you wanted me to call. You never send an urgent message.”

“What did you see, Sam?” Your stomach was twisting with anxiety the more the conversation went on. He let out a jumble of words that you had a hard time understanding. When you gave him a look of confusion, he rolled his eyes.

“I was doing my daily routine of stalking everyone on the internet.” He said, seeming to have trouble with how he was going to word his sentences. Leave it to Sam to spend an hour a day to catch up on everyone else’s drama. “And I saw a couple posts, a-and I think it’s just speculation and rumours,” he led into the topic as easy as he could. “But there’s a couple pictures of Jake going around. With another girl. And everybody thinks it’s a possible girlfriend.” He breathed. Your stomach dropped, but you held your expression firm, not letting a hint of emotion through.

“Oh, okay.” Was all you said. You tried to reason with yourself, wanting to believe that it was just a misunderstanding. Then, your brain immediately focused on the fact that you hadn’t heard from him all day, which was extremely unusual. That, and he hadn’t even told his brothers where he was. You were certain if Josh was lying to you, you’d be able to tell. He wasn’t very good at it. “Can you send me them?” You asked, clearing your throat to get rid of the lump that was forming.

“I’m sure it’s nothing, squirt. I wouldn’t worry too much about it.” His attempt at deflecting the impact was failing miserably.

“Just send them to me, Sam.” Your tone was becoming more angry by the second. He let out a long sigh, but did so without another word. The incoming message popped up on the top of your phone, immediately drawing your attention. You clicked on it, the aforementioned pictures unpleasantly gracing your screen. You tapped on the screenshot, zooming in a little bit to get a closer look.

There he was, unmistakably Jake, sitting at a restaurant table across from an unknown girl. There was a familiar smile on his face, one that made you sick when you thought about him giving it to another girl. You swiped through the photos, quickly finding that it was a whole Twitter chain. ‘Damn, his fans are always on top of the game’ you thought to yourself. There was pictures of them eating together, one with his hand resting on her arm, one of them walking down the street a little too close for comfort, and the last one of her wearing his jacket. You felt an indescribable feeling wash over you.

You read through the comments of fans talking about seeing it, how pretty she was, how happy he looked, and some not so nice tweets. You couldn’t help but feel a small comfort at the unsupportive statements. Your rationale was completely gone now, filled with anger at the sight. More than anything, you felt like an idiot. You fell for him so hard, but he was a boy, and a rockstar, at that. You had no idea why you believed a insignificant girl in Baltimore could tie him down. He probably had a new girl falling for him in every city he visited. Panic started to seep in, realizing that everything you were afraid seemed to be coming true. The look in his eye when he was smiling at her sent a shiver down your spine. It was so similar to how he looked at you.

There was a small part of you insisting there must be more to the story. A bigger, louder part of you didn’t care. Your trust for men and significant others was already extremely low before you met him. You’d spent a lifetime getting treated like garbage and cheated on, and even if this wasn’t the case, you weren’t sure if you even wanted to know. It was easier for you to shut down, to draw the conclusion that boys would always be boys. Although the photos weren’t a tell-all, they certainly didn’t make you feel good when you looked at them. A tiny voice in your brain was telling you that you were being irrational, and that you were doing what you always did; you were using this as a scapegoat to jump ship before you got seriously hurt. Self-destruction was a very well acquainted friend of yours, but you thought you’d left it behind a long time ago.

You took a long, shaky breath before speaking again. “I gotta go.” You mumbled, not giving Sam any time to answer. You hung up, completely forgetting about the real reason you wanted him to call you. You turned your phone on silent, throwing on an old jean jacket. You slung your purse over your shoulder, making sure you had everything you needed before you walked out of your bedroom.

The door slammed behind you with enough force to rattle the wall beside it.

As you made your way down the hallway, your jaw was clenched hard enough to made your head ache. Another classic move of yours; burying the sadness in anger. You tried to break out of it your whole life, but having four hotheaded brothers that loved to pick on you made the emotion permanent. Eve peeked her head around the corner to see what created the loud noise, but recoiled at the look on your face. You walked past her, not able to even give a glance in her direction, scared if you did you would break down. You were sure Sam would tell her, anyway. You threw a pair of shoes on and disappeared through the front door as fast as you could. You knew where you were going, and nobody was going to stop you.

You made your way down the street, eyes set forward and unwavering. The tunnel vision made it easy to ignore all of the passerby’s. By the time you made it to the front door of your favourite bar, you were positively sick with despair. Your stomach was churning and your chest was aching. You wanted nothing more than to go home and cover yourself in blankets and sleep the pain away, but you were never so willing to let a boy ruin you. You pushed through the front door with such a force that everyone’s head turned to look at you once you stepped inside. You went straight to the bar, too determined to drink to pay any mind to them. You stopped once you got in front of the bar, pulling your card out. Mike approached you, giving you a look of curiosity.

“Awful early for you to be here. Usually you only drink before 8 if something serious happened.”

“Triple whiskey sour.” You muttered, in no mood to make conversation. “And two shots of fireball.” He eyed you with concern, but pulled the bottles out, anyway. He wasn’t worried that you couldn’t handle your liquor; he was worried about why you were itching to drink so badly.

“You okay?” He asked as he slid the shot glasses towards you. You took both back to back, ignoring the burning in your chest. It was nothing compared to the ache in your heart.

“Perfectly okay, Mike.” You promised. “Never been better, actually.” He handed you the solo cup, eyes never leaving your face.

“For some reason, I don’t know if I believe you.” He said, watching you take two long drinks out of the glass.

“Quit it with the concerned act. Business is business.” You scolded, mustering a small smile to lessen the blow of the harsh words. You tapped your debit card against the machine once he pushed it towards you, taking a seat in one of the chairs. Tonight was not a dancing night, you decided. You felt your phone vibrating in your purse. It hadn’t stopped since you left the house. You were sure it was Sam, and you cared so little that you didn’t even bother taking it out to check it.

Your first drink came to an end pretty fast, and Mike, knowing you well enough, kept a steady stream of refills in front of you. By the time 9 o’clock rolled around and the bar began to get busy, you were already hammered. The anger in your body was still raging, but you were drunk enough to bury it deep under the surface. Mike had got a bit more talking out of you as the time passed, only making his concern grow more. You were very elusive as to why you were so desperate to be intoxicated, making him believe that whatever the reason was, was really bad. He’d only seen you drink like that on a few occasions, and rarely ever did you go to the bar alone.

“I think you should answer your phone, darlin’.” Mike said, eyeing your purse on the counter as your phone vibrated. As he sat with you, he took note of all the calls you were ignoring.

“You can.” You giggled, nudging the bag towards him. He sighed, reminding you of your dad when he got upset. “I’m not worried about it.” He reluctantly opened your purse and took your phone out, figuring it was better to let your friends know you were alive. You were good enough friends with Mike for him to feel comfortable enough to answer your phone for you. It definitely wouldn’t have been the first time. He tapped the screen, lighting it up to reveal the extensive list of missed calls and texts.

“Eve sent you a bunch of question marks then asked where you went. She’s called you probably a million times. Sam is very worried about you and says he’s going to fly back here if you don’t answer him. Uh, whoever ‘twin rockstar’ is called and texted a few times. Ally called. And ‘Rockstar’ called you about… fifty times.” He listed off. All you could do was laugh. ‘Fuck Jake’, you thought to yourself.

“That’s nice. Can I get another shot with my next drink?” You asked.

“Y/n, you should at least tell Eve where you are.” You played with the straw in your cup, pretending not to hear him. He gave up, sliding your phone back to where it was before. After a moment, he obliged to your request, placing both drinks in front of you. You threw the shot back, feeling someone slide into the chair next to you as you placed the glass back down. You looked over, not recognizing the boy now in your company. You weren’t sure if you were too drunk to place the face, or if you’d never met him before.

“Hey,” he smiled at you. ‘Pretty smile’ you noted.

“Hi.” You replied, not really feeling up to making conversation. You kept your eyes on your drink, not willing to look up at him again.

“What are you drinking? I’ll buy you one.” You almost laughed out loud.

“No, thanks. I’m okay.” You told him, taking a long sip from your straw to avoid any further trouble.

“Why, you have a boyfriend?” He asked. It wasn’t harsh, more of a genuine inquiry. “He must be a lucky guy.” He spoke again before you could answer. You looked over to him, an unfamiliar feeling settling under your skin. You opened your mouth to respond, but you weren’t sure what to say.

“Uh, no, I don’t.” You decided in a split second. As the words came out of your mouth, it felt like someone had punched you in the stomach. “Not anymore, so I’m just not looking for anything.” You explained, gloom casting over you again.

“Sorry to hear that. He must be real stupid to let someone as pretty as you get away.” All you could do was chuckle at his statement. When silence ensued again, he took it upon himself to fill it. “If you change your mind, come and find me.” He quickly scribbled his number down on a bar napkin and slid it your way. Your eyes fell over it, almost finding it humorous. Once he got up and walked away, you handed it to Mike after ripping it in half.

“So dark and broody broke your heart?” Mike asked, tossing the paper in the garbage.

“Don’t say it like that. Makes him sound more important than he is. You have to love someone for them to break your heart.” You explained. Mike eyed you, a knowing look on his features.

“I think you’re lying to yourself, honey.” He said, handing you another shot. He was hyper-aware of your state, wanting to recognize when he needed to cut you off. “It’s okay to get hurt. Makes us human.”

“No lies and not human.” You told him, a sweet smile on your lips.

“Whatever you say.” He shook his head, moving on to serve the next customer. You lost yourself in the music playing over the speakers, finally seeming to rid yourself of the overwhelming emotions. Your face was hot and your body felt light. Your head was swimming with words, but none of them came together to make a worthwhile statement. The intoxication had reached a point where all of your inhibitions were gone; it was a dangerous situation for someone hurting so badly. Just because you weren’t currently immersed in the hurt, didn’t mean you weren’t trying to suffocate it for good.

You walked over to the pool tables, grabbing a cue and racking the balls. You sipped at your drink, shooting aimlessly and sinking shots intermittently. After a while, a group of people joined you at your table. You had no idea who they were, or what their names were. You were sure they told you, but you were in no state to remember them. There were a few girls and two guys, and they all seemed super friendly. They were a good tool to pass the time with, or perhaps more of a distraction than anything. Either way, they were buying pitchers of drinks and sharing, and they were quite funny.

As the hour neared midnight, Mike had turned the sound system up as he usually did. You retracted your much earlier thought, realizing that dancing was the best sounding activity at the moment. One of the boys from the group took his chance, moving closer to you and dancing alongside you. Instead of recoiling, you allowed it, ready to reap the consequences later. He twirled you around, pulling you closer to him so your chest was pressed to his. You both sang the song to each other, faces dangerously close. His hand was on your hip, eyes never leaving you. You were having a good time, but couldn’t shake how wrong it felt. Sure, it was fun, but it was absolutely meaningless. You never wanted to feel something meaningless again after feeling what you had with Jake. He leaned in, attempting to catch you in a kiss, but you withdrew, suddenly feeling dirty for even letting another guy get that close to you. You were lost in thought, almost furious again knowing that Jake still had your entire heart. As bad as you wanted to rid yourself of him, you were more terrified of feeling like you weren’t his anymore, or him yours. The thought didn’t last long, because someone grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the group.

You looked to the source of the disturbance, only to be met with the fuming faces of your roommates. You took a moment to process it, blinking hard to rid yourself of the double vision. “We’ve been calling you all night.” Eve said, dangerously calm. “We didn’t know if you were dead, or if you got kidnapped, or what, until Mike called us and told us you were here.”

“Why would he-“

“Do not get mad at him for looking out for you.” She snapped. You felt a wave of nausea run through you as your face burned with heat. “I’m taking you home before you do something you’ll regret.” She pulled you towards the door, not willing to listen to any sort of explanation. When you got outside, the cool night air hit you like a million knives on your skin.

“Eve,” you mumbled. She continued walking, not listening to your warning. “M’gonna be sick.” You told her. She stopped, looking back at you. Her tough exterior faltered, now really seeing the state you were in. She pulled you back in an alleyway, gathering your hair in her hands. You braced yourself with your hand on the brick of the building, heaving until there was nothing left in your stomach. When you straightened up, there were tears in your eyes. Some from throwing up, but more from crying.

You took a step back, leaning your whole body against the wall and letting out the sob you’d been holding back all night. Ally was standing guard at the end of the side-street, making sure nobody could witness your crisis. You were consumed with the memories of the pictures you saw earlier that night, feeling a non-alcohol related sickness in your stomach. Eve dug in your purse, finding a small pack of tissues. She pulled one out and cleaned off your face as best she could before discarding it on the ground. Normally, she’d be appalled at the thought of throwing garbage on the ground. At the moment, she was willing to sacrifice her morals rather than hold on to the repulsive piece of paper.

She brushed the hair from your face, for once being completely unsure of how to help you. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d seen you so upset. “Let’s get you home, okay?” She whispered. You managed a nod through your inconsolable state. She led you back to the main road after helping you take your heels off. She kept a supportive hold around your back, making sure you didn’t stumble and fall. Ally took to the other side of you, also offering her support.

The walk was treacherous and much longer than it should have been. By the time the two girls got you through the door, you were nothing short of a mess. Eve whispered something to Ally that you didn’t quite catch. Then, Eve helped you to the couch and Ally disappeared from sight. Eve took a seat next to you, gently wiping away the tears staining your cheeks. You tried to catch your breath, feeling completely out of control. Within a few minutes, Ally had rejoined the group holding a plethora of items in her arms. She put them down on the couch, making fast work at her mission.

First she pulled out a few makeup wipes, handing them to Eve so she could rid you of the mascara running down your face. When she was done, she placed the wipes on the coffee table. Ally handed her a hair tie next. Eve turned you slightly, combing her hands through your hair and quickly braiding it. “Next parts gonna be a bit harder.” She mumbled. “Gotta stand for me, okay?” You gave a nod. She helped you to your feet, steadying you before unzipping the back of your dress and slipping the sleeves off. When it fell to your ankles, she pulled a large t-shirt over your head. “There.” She sighed. You slowly sat back down on the sofa, feeling the world spinning around you.

“I’m sorry.” You mumbled, squeezing your eyelids shut. Tears were still making their way out with no sign of stopping.

“I know.” She said, thumb brushing them away as fast as they were falling. “I know you’re hurting. We all do stupid stuff when we’re hurting.”

“I told him I loved him. He said he loved me, too.” You cried, feeling the ache settle in your bones again. “He promised.” You blubbered.

“I know, honey. We’re gonna get some sleep and sober you up a bit, and we’ll fix this in the morning, okay?”

“I’m supposed to go to Atlanta next weekend.” In your drunken state, you unintentionally disregarded everything she was saying. “He said he was gonna take me around the world with him. I knew this was going to happen. I never should have opened up. I never should have let this happen.” You let out a shaky breath. “I don’t even know if he did it, or not. All I know is that it hurts. ‘nd m’so scared because I hate when people have this much power over me.” She knew you were really fucked up over this, because it was nothing like you to come out with all of your feelings so willingly. “I love him. I really love him. I’ve never felt like this before, and it just made me realize that he makes me so happy, but he has the power to take it away whenever he wants. And he’s this big rockstar who can have anybody he wants. All he has to do is say the word. He can have girls who looks like that. Why would he settle for me?”

“Hey, that is not true. Anyone who ends up with you will be the luckiest person in the world.” She scolded, not willing to accept that.

“He’s just… he’s Jake. And he’s perfect. And I adore him. A-and I’m so scared of losing him that… that I feel like I have to leave first, to spare myself from the worse hurt, later, you know?” You hiccuped. “I always do this. M’gonna ruin it for myself because m’always so fucking scared! I tried to get rid of the feeling, to get rid of him, but all of the stuff that usually works just made me think about him even more. I don’t want him to have that power over me, don’t want him to be able to flip my world upside down whenever he wants, but it just felt so good being loved by him and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forget it.” You let your head fall back into the cushion of the couch, completely defeated by how you were feeling. She quickly caught on to the fact that this whole situation may have had a lot less to do with the pictures from earlier, and much more to do with your fear of being in love.

“I know, baby.” She practically winced. She didn’t know the full story. She only knew what Sam had told her, then Jake’s incoherent babbling on the phone when he called her earlier. He was so out of his mind with worry she was surprised he didn’t jump on a plane and fly back just to make sure you were alive. Then, when she finally calmed him down enough to tell him she would make sure you were okay, Josh called and voiced his worry and defence of his brother. Eve was completely in the loop from all sides of the battle, but she had no idea what was really going on. “Ally is going to get the air mattress and we’ll all stay out here tonight. We’re not gonna leave you.” She pulled you into her, holding you close. Ally disappeared once again, off to gather more necessities. Eve rubbed your back, soothing you as you worked through your emotions. Her main concern was you, and it would always be that. Once you were asleep, she’d worry about everyone else.

The two girls banded together to pump up the large air mattress, having to take turns every now and again. Eventually, they had it set up and decorated the top with comforters and pillows. They prompted you to get in, wanting to get you to sleep as fast as possible, hoping if you got enough rest you’d feel better in the morning. They turned on a speaker, playing gentle music in the background so you could focus on something other than your hurt. It didn’t take long for the alcohol in your system to lull you to sleep, soft snores falling from your mouth.

“What the fuck happened?” Ally asked, finally winding down from the eventful night.

“I… couldn’t tell you, really. Sam sent me some suspicious pictures of Jake and another girl. Apparently Twitter thinks they’re together. And you know her, she doesn’t really believe in explanations or second chances. I guess it probably reminded her of last time. And I think she may be using it as a cop out because she’s really in love with him, and that terrifies her.”

“Do you think Jake would do that to her?” Ally asked, genuinely curious.

“He seems to be head over heels for her, but the pictures did seem kind of incriminating. He wasn’t kissing her or anything like that, but he was pretty close with her and she was wearing his jacket. Whoever she was, he looked quite enthralled in her. If i were her, I’d probably be pretty hurt, too. I don’t think she’s wrong to feel upset, especially if she didn’t know about it or who she was before she saw the pictures. I do think she should talk to him about it before running away.” Eve explained. Ally gave a nod. “Jake called me and he was super upset. Could barely understand what he was saying. He was just all over the place. Told him I’d make sure she was okay, but I didn’t ask him about it. I’m on team y/n, always. I’m not going to vouch for him, cause that will only make her mad at me.” She shrugged. “Even if he didn’t cheat on her, she’s still hurting. Maybe a bit more from her internal battles, but she’s still hurting.”

“I get that.”

“Josh called, too, trying to explain on behalf of his brother. It’s just a mess. I hope that Jake does have a good explanation, because I really like them together. But I’m not sure if she’ll listen to him, even if he does. She doesn’t listen to anyone but herself.” Eve chuckled. Ally nodded, knowing that all too well. “She already has the idea in her head, and every one of those feelings are multiplied by a thousand because she’s in love. Like, really in love. I don’t think she’s been this crazy for anyone, ever.” Just as she finished speaking, your phone began to ring in your purse again. Eve pulled it out, inspecting the screen. She sighed, rejecting the call and picking up her own phone. She dialled back the number that called you and waited for him to answer. She didn’t feel the need to completely block Jake out, but she’d be damned if she was going to let you know she was talking to him.

“Hey,” a raspy voice said from the other side of the phone.

“Hello, Jacob.” Eve said.

“Is she okay?” Her eyes looked towards you sleeping soundly on the air mattress.

“That’s a relative term, I think.” She grimaced slightly, recalling the state you had been in. “Alive, yeah, but she’s really fucked up.”

“Okay.” Jake said, clearing his throat a little bit. “I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“That’s also quite relative. I’d like to say I know, but I can’t.”

“I didn’t cheat on her.” He said firmly. “I’m not cheating on her. I would never do that.”

“Okay.” She replied, mimicking his earlier statement.

“I absolutely know why she’s mad at me. If it was the other way around and I saw those pictures, I’d… yeah.” He trailed off.

“I can’t defend you to her, Jake. She’s been my best friend for years. I barely know you. Even if she’s overreacting, which I am absolutely not saying she is, I’m on her side.” Eve explained. “Unless she did something really fucked up, which she didn’t, and she won’t.” She added quickly, wanting to clarify that she wouldn’t blindly stand up for you in every context. “She’s a spitfire. She goes from 1 to 100 faster than anyone I’ve ever met. Yeah, she’s upset about what happened today, but I think she’s also having a hard time with being in love. She’s scared of it. Always has been. She’s so independent that it’s actually infuriating, and I believe she may be struggling with depending on someone for once. This whole thing might have been the excuse she’s been waiting for, to run away.” Eve explained. “I think maybe if she just saw the pictures, it wouldn’t have been so bad. But all of those Twitter comments were pretty hard to read, and I’m not even dating you.”

“I know. That part of fame sucks. Everyone speculates, and stories spread before we even know that it caught someone’s attention. And I get it. I understand why you and her both feel the way you do. I would feel the same if one of my brothers got hurt.” She did feel quite bad for him. She didn’t think Jake was a bad guy, but perhaps not the best at communication. In this instance, at least. “Can you at least try to get her to come to Atlanta? Just so I can talk to her. I’ll fly her back as soon as I do, if that’s what she wants. I just can’t leave things like this, and I know she’ll never answer my calls.” His words were met with a staggering silence. After a while, Eve spoke again.

“Do you swear on your life you didn’t cheat on her?” She asked, picking at a string that had frayed from the hem of her sweater.

“I promise.” He said, quite firmly.

“Cause if I get her to go Atlanta and I find out you really did fuck her over, I’ll kill you.” She replied as a matter-of-fact.

“I would never do that to her, Eve.” She believed him, for the most part. If he was lying, he was really good at it. “I love her.” He finally admitted. The sincerity in his words took her off guard.

“I’ll try, rockstar. It may not work, and I’m not going to force her, but I’ll try to get her on that plane. Only because I think you guys are cute together, and you made her so happy. She’s never had that before. It took a lot for her to give you a chance, especially after the last guy. If this ends like this, I don’t think she’ll ever recover.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t. And also, this conversation never happened. I’m not defending you, I’m not going behind her back, nothing like that. The only reason I’m doing this is because I think it’s in her best interest. Even if it’s just closure, that’s fine by me.” She warned. “Now think up a real good apology, rockstar.”

“Will do.” He said. There was no room for any more words, because she’d already hung up. Ally gave Eve a look of caution, worried that Eve was going to rock the boat even further. Eve brushed it off, standing and flicking the lights off in the living room. She climbed on the air mattress and wrapped herself up in a blanket. Ally followed suit, both of them falling asleep not long after with the hope that the morning would bring some form of clarity.

TAGLIST: @gvfpal @jakesgrapejuice @hellowgoodbye

[definitelynotshouting]

Hi!! Hello!! Your worldbuilding has once again enchanted and fascinated me! But I have no one to talk to about mcyt-related worldbuilding so I’m just going to (definitelynot) shout (ha ha. I’m funny.) at you if that’s ok!!

Ever since I found this fandom I’ve been fascinated by how to deal with video game mechanics in writing, and I’ve found it a very interesting ongoing puzzle, to come up with worldbuilding or lore to explain the more mechanical, coding-based stuff and cover up the fact that the characters are in a videogame. I think that’s part of why I love your worldbuilding so much, because you went in completely the opposite direction, and made Code the base, the reality-fabric, of all the rest of your universe! It kinda blew my mind!

Anyway, the player inventory and in-game chat are two of the most glaringly Video Game mechanics, and two of the first that I came up with explanations for, which is why I (like Tango) latched onto those few lines and details about them in chapter four. For me, they’re both explained by the very flexible fabric of reality inherent to server-words. Because reality is so easy to manipulate (and be manipulated without breaking down) in these worlds, it’s easy for Players to simply open a small personal pocket dimension they can store stuff in. (The same way it’s easy to make something float by just leaving it there and taking away what connects it to the ground) the chat happenes basically the same way. Server-worlds allow for a very shallow telepathic link across all players that everyone experiences a little differently (you might see it scroll across the inside of you arm, look at it in the corner of your vision, actually hear it quietly in your head, etc.)

But that’s a lot of My Ideas, I am, in fact, here because of Your Ideas. Because I’ve alway seen them as sperate things, and I am So Curious about how you’ve linked them. The chat being on external comms on a watch or phone-like device seems pretty common in the fandom, but linking them the way you have — in that you can’t have an inventory without a comm — raises so many questions!! (/pos) how do they work? Are they mechanical? Magical? Natural? Bio-magical? If they were something that needed to be invented, who invented them? How long have they been around? What did people do before then? How does a new player get their first comm/inventory? If comms can comunicate across worlds, could they theoretically take their inventory across worlds/servers as well? Is cross-void trade a very dangerous, but lucrative, profession? Do they have to exchange comm-phone-numbers or can they immediately contact anyone they’ve ever met? If you have stuff in your inventory and you loose your comm, do you lose the stuff too? Or does it transfer like an ender chest? Could someone else steal your inventory by stealing your comm? Does a player have to attune to a comm like a dnd magic item? How common is it to have to build a new one?

I’m gonna stop now because this is really long, it’s 11, and I Will just keep thinking of more questions. I’m so intrigued by this!! Those few little lines have completely captivated me with their potential!! I’m excited!!

(Sorry if this had a bit too much of my own personal worldbuilding ramble, I just really wanna talk to someone about this stuff!)

Ive been 👁️👁️ at this ask since you sent it in and first of all im so sorry the autism won for a bit and kept me from answering your questions, second of all i think your worldbuilding is SO NEAT :DDD this is SUPER COOL i love your ideas, comms being a telepathic link is so interesting to me!!! Also, im intensely flattered that you like the direction i took with hunger au's worldbuilding so much!! I've been having a lot of fun sorta marrying biology and irl physics with computer programming-based building building blocks for this universe, to the point where im actually starting to put together a legit glossary in my masterlist doc to keep it all straight in my head 😂😂😂 it's an interesting challenge for me to try and meld all these things together so i can make something that feels completely different from our world without losing its relatability, so im super glad you're appreciating it!!!

These are a lot of questions im gonna try and answer all at once, so i'll put it beneath the cut so it doesnt clog people's dashes LMAO

So firstly, the way i view communicators is,,, okay dont laugh too hard but i literally just visualize them as pip boys from fallout SKDNJWNDJS for some reason ive NEVER been able to shake that mental image, so ive just sorta accepted that into how i view them for hunger au. Personally, i see them as sort of a... mishmash of the bio-mechanical, something that isnt QUITE a direct part of them but is very much attached and integrated with their code. So its not like an organ, but an interface, i guess-- comms are how you can access an inventory, which is basically just hammerspace the way you've already described it, and where you can change your own surface code, and its also just... the way Players are able to interact with the worlds around them.

You also send messages with comms, but instead of there being anything like phone numbers, you're forming a direct link between your comm and someone else's!!! Not telepathic the way you've done with your worldbuilding, but because i see comms in this universe as something that latches onto and interacts with your code, its still a very important connection. Once connected, you can talk to that person all the time through your comm, even if they arent currently on your server-- although I do think that this only extends to when youre within the same server cluster.

As for how Players get them in the first place: for spawned Players, they just spawn in with them. Thats where the bio part comes in i think, and its a little hard for me to explain the way i view it, but its something like... i guess a bit like when moons form around planets. The code of an entity has a certain weight to it, and when a Player and their singleplayer world spawns in, the comm does with them, already attached and integrated with their code. For birthed Players, its very different-- they arent born with a comm, so they need a comm made, and then integrated with their code by a skilled code wrangler. It is VERY tricky to make a comm-- theyre incredibly fiddly, super hard to code without mistakes, and they take an extraordinarily long time to put together, let alone integrate properly with someone's code. Im not sure the word dangerous is the most accurate term here, but there are potentially harmful consequences if you integrate a poorly made comm with someone's code.

As for inventory transfer, i think you can bring stuff in your inventory from one server to another. This is mostly used for personal items or gifts, i think-- Player culture and attitude generally emphasizes fun, and whats more fun than giving someone something special that you made/got for them, or bringing a little memento with you from an old world you want to remember?

Theoretically, im sure there are Players who bring supplies or previously used tools with them to new worlds, but i think most Players like the excitement and challenge of starting fresh. It all depends on the person and the community culture surrounding that server if its a multiplayer. Cross-void trade is probably definitely a thing, but i dont think its necessarily very dangerous, just something more personal that you'd do for yourself or for a friend rather than any kind of business model.

As for someone being able to steal a comm, i dont think you can if its attached to the Player it belongs to, because at that point its basically a part of them. They can take them off, though, so someone could potentially steal it then, but unless theyre a skilled code wrangler and can crack into it, i dont think it would work for them or let them access that person's inventory. It would, however, be an incredibly effective (and cruel) way of controlling someone's actions and where they can go/who they can talk to.

This is why, ultimately, lost comms are a huge deal; losing your comm is literally losing access to pieces of yourself, your world, and your community. And while as a Watcher, Grian doesnt technically need a comm to access his code or enter other servers, he does still need it to keep in touch with other people and facilitate those community bonds, as well as keep an inventory. So yeah, Tango fretting over Grian losing his comm was very much warranted.

AAAAAAA THIS WAS VERY LONG i hope it was worth the wait!!! I know you sent another question but im gonna answer that one separately later since its about a different subject, and this is already SOOOO MUCH RAMBLING on my part. Thank you for sending these asks, and you are absolutely welcome to ramble at me as much as you want!!! :D

[sirwormbell-the4st]

@evilhorse936 said i should yap about malcom blame evilhorse its evilhorse's fault

ok so in the simplest of terms malcoms basically cupid if he was a stinky gamer geek from the midwest. and also a robot kind of. this story has gotten so convoluted over the past year or so.

it all started with this inventor called malcolm. who i guess is kinda like a god in the power sense or whatevs. a mysterious entity from another plane of existence. malcolm looks into the future and sees a human being born that he's REALLY going to hate. No explanation why (too lazy to write that part). So being the petty god he is, malcolm makes it his mission to mess up the family tree of this person so bad that theyll be basically a completely different person. In order to come down to earth, he creates a puppet / vessel to control. it can grow and bleed like any human, but thats just a well crafted disguise. its a robot of sorts comprised of complex and indescribable mechanisms. think bee and puppycat. the vessels general mission is to seek out those who are meant for eachother and bring them together with weird god magic YAY!!! but the actual main goal is to seek out the ancestors of this person malcolms gonna hate and make them like. have children with DIFFERENT PEOPLE (malcolm doesnt like to kill thats why hes doing all this petty shit. well more like he cant kill.).

It starts off well. the vessel learns to walk and often wanders from its "parents" for its mission.

When the vessel gets older, earth starts to change him. while gender never mattered before, expression suddenly meant something. (HES TRANS YAY!!!!). he has real, human love for his parents. (well ok he has mommy issues but he loves his dad guys theyre the best father n son duo theyre <3 :( HE LOVES HIM JUST THE WAY HE IS OUGH)he finds passion for cooking, videogames, sitcoms, and comic books. He changed his name to malcom because he loves watching malcolm in the middle with his dad. it felt right. he might have been drawn to it because hes supposed to BE his creator, but he has taken it and made the name his own. (no L obv) by the time hes in his teens, malcolm has lost control mostly. hes fighting back with the small notion of identity and existence. his own soul is forming. ok i need to wrap this up ok so.

he starts making friends for the first time finally and then gets really gay for this emo geek named shay and then once they become boyfriends malcolms like FINE!!! FINE YOU CAN BE A REAL BOY PINOCCHIO STYLE OR WHATEVER FINE!!!!! and after all that angst, gayness, and all those identity crises, bros a real boy :3

his special interest is cooking!! he makes a cooking youtube channel and eventually becomes a chef :) hes a skater bro and hes also been a devoted gamer like this whole time hes greasy and plays overwatch. hes a loser all around.

malcolm: "you are my creation. you aren't like them. you are a machine. a computer designed to carry out my orders"

malcom: "computer? ok computer? radiohead?"

BEFORE ANYONE SAYS ANYTHING, IM AWARE OF FHE PARALLELS BUT HE WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE INSPIRED BY NGE PLEASE.. GUYS...... I PROMISE.................GUYS.........

[bitchineering]

You don't know me... but let's work on that

Okay so like, I'm never active anymore. Really just gave up being active on tumblr because who the f is active here. Also I have a funny name now so it's fine- don't hate me for it.

Anyway, I thought, wow I really hate some stuff with teaching and no one having resources to free educational things so I thought to myself, why don't I just post items on here?!

Yea so that's what this is. You have classes you want to take, you don't have the ability to learn almost everything you ever wanted? Your teacher sucks ass? Well hopefully this helps makes everything better.

Mostly, all resources I know are about science and math (🫢wow surprised?!), and they can be tailored for whatever you need in long run. This became much longer than I thought it would be lol!

Topics Included:

Computer Science

Physics/Engineering

Math (HS Algebra and up)

Arts/Humanities

Computer Science

https://github.com/ossu/computer-science: this literally builds so much for coding and getting someone into programming. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it for some classes (I don't know how much it would help with AP Computer Science or Principles, but it has so much information, anyone really wanting to learn about code could get started with this.

https://www.freecodecamp.org/: another win website, I'd def say a little more chaotic (?). It depends how you want to learn you know. Love the web design bs, not really into it, but their tuts and videos were helpful enough for myself.

https://cs50.harvard.edu/x/2023/: Another beauty, these lectures really give so much for programming. Classes are held where you can even attend without being a harvard student. Lectures are intense imo, as it is a lot of content all in your face but just love the guy.

https://www.youtube.com/@alexlorenlee: Java. If you need any help in starting Java, I love these videos. He got me through a horrible class in my uni. Love him fr fr.

https://www.youtube.com/@crr0ww: Learning about any sorta malware, educational resources to get started with understanding your network, overall, just a really smart and funny guy. Love his videos. Really good at explaining basic contents.

https://www.youtube.com/@ColinGalen: Recommend his learning videos and how to think almost like a chess grandmaster. My own cs professor talks about drawing out code and being able to actually write what is going on in code.

Physics/Engineering/Sciences?

(sorry, I'm not mechanical engineer 🙈)

Electrical Engineering: Youtuber Michel Van Biezen is AMAZING. Also, dude as a sick ass drip and I love the bow tie. His circuits and physics lectures are so entertaining and helpful to understand. I really really really loved his videos as they helped me pull my grades up. His explanations are top tear, I really feel like he's so good at this.

GaTech Coursera Circuits: There are two of these classes here.

DC Circuit Analysis: First course. Helps you learn almost everything you should have learned in Physics Two and if not, don't worry they explain it somewhat well. Videos are condensed and good enough for someone to watch. Just know they don't do calculations on screen, and those can be pretty lengthy to solve.

AC Circuit Analysis: Same as above, they don't have as many items for this course, but def know it is a good course and necessary for understanding more modern circuit applications.

Every engineer wants to be him -> Michael Reeves , if you've never heard of him, please. This man will make you want to recreate his robots. He's a genius. He's everything every engineer wishes they could be.

NileRed : Do you want to be a fake chemist because Ochem made you want to die?? Well actually I just took chem 1 and changed my major, but NileRed it literally so fun. His chem videos are so fun and cool.

Thought Emporium -> mad biology scientists? Love this guy too! He's trying to be Spider-man and I love him for that. I hope he recreates those spiderwebs, I've been watching it for so long. Love this dude.

Robotics Engineering: Done by a youtuber who love for the anime reps!!! This guy focuses more on VR/AR, but loves carrying the same vibes as Michael Reeves, a Russian youtuber I know, and just overall very fun.

Mechatronics: Things to know for going into the field of Mechatronics (basically this is Robotics, just the more machine side). They recommend having that backbone in the core classes.

Learning for Engineering Students: Love that someone who was an actual engineer made some sort of engineering studying help. Would totally recommend watching, along with some other youtubers,

Tamer Shaheen (Mechanical Engineer) notes and exam recitation guides

British Engineer Loved her video, really similar to my own method of doing repeated practice problems.

My own study method!!! Create a google docs with Three columns:

Topic -> Usually this is how I'd organize the question. I did docs like these for each class, so I instead would put this as some topic within my class OR I would organize it by assignment it correlated to. I.E. alternating circuits or homework

Question -> really self explanatory, make sure to give details, dates, who you think you should ask, etc etc. There are no dumb questions, I'd really recommended these for computer science and would totally give my notes out for that shit.

Answers -> another self explanatory category, however, would recommend doing something a lil different with this box. Don't overwrite explanations. Also, don't take explanations. Write your own understanding of the solution, and a link/cite/provide some evidence for you or someone to turn back to.

Math

Organic Chemistry Tutor: Just, this man is everything. He has so many videos not only for chemistry but for other classes. I put him in math mostly because I used him for calculus I and II.

Khan Academy : Tbh, I loved their calculus course material. I'm not the biggest fan of them overall with some other provided materials (Like their SAT prep, really is only effective for helping students take it online and grading fast, but I'm pretty sure I have another post explaining how I found online materials for that bs and got a passing grade).

3 Blue 1 Brown (Math/ Calculus) : I feel like everyone knows him, he's so good at visualizing concepts. Great but still very complex videos, please understand that before going in. You might not be able to understand everything on first try, but always draw them out.

Studying Pure Math : Once you finished calculus and would enjoy some rigorous applications/learn about higher levels of math, this youtuber has linked a multitude of resources for those mathematical desires lol.

Small ideas of what is mathematics but this is such a beautiful video in explaining how mathematics is built up from each other. I think it changes your idea of how to study math (however, he does say you shouldn't memorize this stuff, but in the next bullet point, I wanted to show how I studied for math which did involve memorizing methods).

Studying thing I learned from youtuber but had sorta done myself, just think showing off this youtuber who's in oxford is fun!!!!

(Okay so I didn't find it, but the youtuber I thought who said the idea was Lucy Wang, still linking channel for the woman in math!!!).

So, in class you should be writing down examples, writing questions to the side, and looking for a pattern. When you find this pattern, you can organize your notes and your test answers. So like when doing an optimization problem in calculus, you have to draw the system, set up equations, ask what are you solving for, and the show the methods you used to solve. I would also recommend this for any numerical questions (for me, this included circuits, physics, and other math classes I've taken for a long time).

Professor Leonard: This man saved my calculus III grade. I love him. Please, he has almost all calculus classes, I don't think he has finished Differential equations and possibly one of his algebra courses, but his information is just great. His method of teaching is also phenomenal. And in the last video of his multivariable calculus playlist, he had the best quote ever. His wife and him were expecting a child, and he stated (this is horribly paraphrased but this was all I was thinking during my own calc III final):

"I'm pregnant- wait no- my wife's pregnant... But damn, I bet you I'd look good pregnant."

Arts/Literature/Humanities

https://www.youtube.com/@Chommang: Beautiful art, really enjoyed drawing alongside. Implores you to find your own style, but helps with anatomy, reference drawing, I literally knew nothing about this bs. But I really enjoy the videos.

Puppet History : Okay. So I know what you'll say if you saw these videos. But really, just if you want to start with history, it's such a good introduction, such a fun cast, and the lore is also something that I really think makes characters funny, long lasting, god. It's just so good and well written for some youtube puppet fever dream.

Reading Analysis: Literally just came up on my rec on youtube. Really nice in explaining the actual analysis of the text.

Japanese: I used it for practicing listening to Japanese, mostly just me trying to recognized sounds and words. I'm still a beginner in Japanese, cannot actually hold conversations, but this has helped me listen to others better.

Geography Now!: Learning anything about countries/ needing to learn about countries relationships, just enjoy knowing much trivia. I'd recommend this for those items. Also like, learning about other countries are so much fun! I would def say, there are countries he doesn't examine as in depth, ie, India. But if you're just getting into geography boom, here you go.

Some other recommendations for history, look up on coursera, edx, I mostly learn alot of these topics on youtube with video essays. Ngl, your own political beliefs will heavily affect how you learn these topics. There's no way around this. I hope for the sake of whomever, just please, learn both sides actual arguments. And if debates ever turn to arguments/yelling matches, leave. You need to have a strong sense of self- and in the end, if the other person doesn't understand or want to, there's nothing you can do about it. You can keep thinking your own beliefs, or feel inclined to research the topic later. If anyone gives you shit for believe in something that turns out to be factually incorrect, accept how you were wrong, why you were wrong, and understand that being wrong is a path of knowledge. If someone else believes you are wrong, however, they can't factual cite this, that is just a disagreement over some topic.

A thing I've said to others, is that everyone interprets the bible differently. You interpret His messages in a way I can never understand. And I the same. Since I cannot tell you how to interpret the bible, you cannot tell me. Something I truly believe is everyone has their own connection with God (not saved to Christianity, I know this is from an idiot in the bible belt in the USA but we'll deal with that later), and that connection guides them through life.

So for building this mindset, some books/videos I'd recommend:

*Please know, these books may contain triggering/unpleasant topics that readers should look into before selecting a book to read.*

The Myth Of Sisyphus, Albert Camus

Everyone's favorite psychopath, No Longer Human Osamu Dazai

Capitalism Realism Mark Fisher

Ecrits Jacques Lacan

Make It Stick Science of Successful Learning

Absurdism: A video similar to topic above, less academia-y language.

Classics Worth Reading: love love love Emmie! Her videos are pretty fun and I really enjoyed her classics recommendation.

Small amount of topics to go look up, search what you love, stay away from what you don't like. In the end, help yourself become a well rounded person by building up those ideas.

If yall wanna add more, please please please! Education is something I'll never get enough of. I believe it should be free, nonpolitical, and inspiring for all. Everyone deserves education because it makes us smart, capable, and healthy individuals. It builds our future. Good luck in your educational future. Hopefully I have spur of the moment to post my small study ideas, or resources for studying, so that others can focus being more time efficient. Just remember, control f (windows <3) or command f (mac users) to find whatever you need.

[saturn-sends-hugs]

You ever just get absolutely steam rolled by life cause BOY HOWDY I SURE DO, so anyway—

HI!! I’m back if u noticed I left, but if not, i’m back anyway lol :D

(longer explanation under the cut if u want it?)

I didn’t really plan to just disappear like that but uh life said “Wanna know what it feels like to get run through a paper shredder?” and somehow my very firm no was taken the COMPLETE opposite direction and now I’m here

Basically, as far as fandom stuff goes I’ve been doing my best to keep working. I know where the next chapter of the fic is going, I have the scenes in my head and I just need to get them on the page hhhgshshshsghshssh.

I’ve got a couple one shots that hopefully, HOPEFULLY, I can finish at some point cause I’m really excited about those!!! There’s just a few semi-fluffy things (semi because I’ve been having WAY too many Fives feelings recently) and a very chill batch scene I’ve had in my head since Echo left with Rex (but it actually is fluff!! I promise!! …mostly but Echo is a little shit and i love him so much). Although there’s one that’s definitely… um very, very heavy. Cause writing is a coping mechanism and so is the angst 🫠. (and no @gentle-hero-blog I am absolutely not writing the finale “fix-it” where i just make it woRSE. THEY WOULD HAVE MY HEAD HERO THE ANGST IS BAD ENOUGH ALREADY BSKSHJSHSKSJSK)

I’ve also got some little artworks and headcanon things lined up so basically I’m just trying to start existing on here again 😅

But yeah, I’m back! And I’d say I’m doing better but let’s just say this is a step in the right direction at least :)))

And well if anyone was wondering what was up, short answer is I don’t deal with stress well and that’s just great cause pretty much everything stresses me out

Long answer: School decided to give me, genuinely, ten projects to complete in the next 26 days all for different subjects but it’s FINE cause they’re grouping six of those together and calling them just one project :) Also it’s finals season and my teachers are assuming WAY too much of silly little people pleaser me and also— MATH. Literally just math GOD WHY and I feel like I’m on a rollercoaster hurtling like 300 feet deep in the ocean.

I am disintegrating.

Anyway how was y’all’s May the 4th 🫠🫠

[deusvervemakesgames]

Project RBH Devlog 0001 – Finding Direction

There were some real-life complications that means this Devlog doesn’t have quite the progress that I would like, namely how long it took me to get feedback on my experiments. 70 mph windstorms can do that, apparently. The good news is that nobody was harmed, and damage was minimal.

To recap, I found three possible directions for Project RBH, and I promised to settle on one of them and write up a Game Design Document (GDD). And I have reached my conclusion from probably-not-extensive-enough playtesting.

Project RBH will involve the player starting out with a basic attack that they steadily upgrade over the course of a run, until by the end they are filling the screen with bullets like an angry god.

So the next step is writing out the GDD to make sure that the game actually reflects this idea.

I touched on it last time, but I feel like there’s more to say about GDDs and what makes them such useful tools for game design and development.

Conveniently, Game Maker’s Toolkit recently put out this video on means of analyzing games which ties directly into this subject.

The short version of this video is that a game’s systems and mechanics lead to dynamic interactions with the player(s), in turn coloring their emotional response. For example, a game where you have big guns and lots of bullets will probably make you feel like an unstoppable action movie hero, while a game with limited ammunition and powerful enemies will make you feel disempowered and cautious.

The GDD is a way for the development team and the designers to coordinate the systems and mechanics to steer the dynamics and achieve the desired emotional response. It’s an incredible tool for focusing design and development to a single, sharpened point. A way to ‘fail faster,’ so to speak.

Failing Faster refers to the practice of constant iteration as quickly as possible, in order to achieve more feedback and learn from the parts that don’t work. It’s the entire reason I threw together my current prototype even though I haven’t done my GDD yet. And yes, the GDD itself can be used to fail faster. Getting ideas out of your head and onto the page forces you to think of how to communicate those ideas, and gives you something tangible to show people and receive feedback on.

It's a way to prevent Perfect from being the enemy of Good.

But what’s included in a GDD? Yes. Yup, that too.

I’ve still got a template from my college professors while I was getting my degree in game design, and it includes:

The World,

Intended Audience,

Unique Selling Point

Multiple sections on plot and characters

Means of narrative progression

Locations, Layout, Maps

Intended Gameplay Experience

Enemies

Combat

Obstacles

Items and Equipment

User Interface

Art Style

Music and Sound

Among several other things.

As you can see, it’s a lot. Luckily, it’s divided into sections which makes it a heck of a lot easier to get through, especially because I don’t need to write an entire essay per section. The GDD is a living document, meant to be edited and updated throughout the lifespan of a project. I also won’t necessarily need every section.

This does, however, lead us to our next problem with the design. Story.

I’m the kind of person who really likes narrative in his games. Traditionally, Roguelike/lites are not known for being exactly narrative heavy. The cyclical nature of dying, restarting for zero, dying again, repeat, doesn’t always lend itself to storytelling.

Luckily this is a problem that has been solved multiple times. The recent Hades, for example, turns that very thing I listed as an obstacle to storytelling into a vehicle to drive the story forward. Heat Signature gives each of your playable characters a motivation; a specific goal they wish to achieve before dying or retiring, letting the player craft each character’s narrative through their successes and failures. Cult of the Lamb has a narrative explanation for your immortality and your runs with a plot that continues through the whole game, albeit a simple one. And, of course, the Mystery Dungeon games have been telling stories with roguelike elements for a long, long time.

The issue is not that it is impossible to tell a story in this kind of game. The problem is that calling my budget ‘shoestring’ is a gross exaggeration. Having a simple excuse plot like the one in Orbital Bullet would dramatically reduce the development time of Project RBH.

On the other hand, making this game the way I am is already enough of a pipe dream that it might be worth going all-in on it.

So that’s where things stand at the end of Week 1. Next week I’ll be checking in with the progress of my GDD, and deciding how and where to start actually making this thing.

Until next Devlog!

-DeusVerve

Special thanks to my Tier 3 Patron Haelerin!

Support me on Patreon

[andmaybegayer]

Last Monday of the Week 2024-01-15

back in the saddle

Listening: The Skeleton Dance, a single from Perennial which I clicked on solely because the title and band name go together so well.

Short and sweet post-punk snippet. Go check out their other albums, probably? I'm still going through those too.

Reading: New Murderbot, which I am very glad to say I actually liked. I did not really like Network Effect because it was too all over the place and felt more like three murderbot novellas in a trench coat. System Collapse is much more tightly written thing that actually fits its length.

Two big things going on that make it work: a strong focus on Murderbot having a hard time dealing with trauma because it refuses to acknowledge it is like a human in any way. Murderbot not wanting to be human and refusing all attempts to characterize it like a human are such strong parts of its personality that it's interesting to see it get hit by that revolving door.

The other thing is very tightly constraining the tools and environment. Murderbot has strict enough rules and solid enough explanations that mechanical limitations build well into actual narrative tension. Murderbot only having two camera drones and no armour is responsible for a solid half of the tension of the book, and controlling how much access it has to other systems is a big driver of the ebb and flow of that tension.

Murderbot as a series has such a delightful economy of worldbuilding. There's the entire implied world of hyperintelligent bots existing just out of view, things on par with Peri hiding in systems and allying with a select group of humans because it likes them. The whole human/construct/bot divide is repeatedly shown to be extremely blurry, which is fun because Murderbot treats it as unimpeachable truth.

Also one of the handful of book series where I read about some little thing and search for parts at my electronics supplier.

I have just started Hannah Ritchie's new book Not The End Of The World which is a bookified form of her general research on "things are getting better, there's a long way to go, but fatalism is not only unproductive it's incorrect". Having already read a lot of her work it retreads that a lot, and if you see a long patch of text without any citations you can skip over it, but it is handy to see all the numbers laid out.

Ritchie's research seems more correct than not most of the time, so while I do sometimes go "oh come on" at specific claims or propositions, it's generally interesting and worthwhile if you care about the data behind modern climate change and how it relates to economic and technological development.

It is really funny how much of climate discussion really does boil down to "for the love of god stop burning things."

Watching: Noah's Shark at Bad Movie Night, a Polonia Brothers movie about the curse laid on the secret fourth son of Noah when he brought a demonic third shark on the Ark. Yeah.

It's on YouTube in its entirety.

There's something funny about the fact that the Polonia team have put out so many movies that even their bad movies have flashes of clear competence in writing. Some genuinely good banter in between everything else going on in this movie.

Playing: Briefly picked up Dark Souls long enough to get to the Capra demon, but I have not tried to fight it yet.

Making: 3D printing a microphone holder for Dark Souls recordings because I did like editing those supercuts and the bad audio was killing me. Had a good time experimenting with dovetails and other sliding joints. Learning a lot about OnShape, especially poking at the Assembly system for the first time and finally using it enough to start picking up the shortcuts in earnest.

Tools and Equipment: Hey did you know that oranges are one million times easier to eat if you just cut them into slices and then peel the skins off. I have basically not eaten oranges for years because you can't peel them easily by hand. Oranges are great. Just cut them into quarters and go to town.

[storyspinner91]

Willow + Lancer + The Oh Hellos = Like Constellations

Ok, a long, long time ago I said I might write up a little explanation post about what Like Constellations, A Million Years Away is. Because if there’s one thing I seem to have a talent for, it’s...getting excited about the intersections of two things that combine to make an extremely obscure niche, lol. So this post is meant to answer: what the heck is this? and why the heck is this? Read on for answers in hopefully not too (buuut probably too) much detail. 

What the Heck is your fic?

Like Constellations, A Million Years Away is a long-form fanfiction that adapts elements of the story of Willow (2022) to the setting (more or less, I’ve taken a few liberties) of the tabletop roleplaying game Lancer, created by Tom Parkinson Morgan and Miguel Lopez. This means that instead of a fantasy world, the characters of Willow are in a far-future science-fiction universe where combat sometimes takes place between pilots of huge, mechanized chassis (think of Gundam or Neon Genesis Evangelion). The fic starts out being a fairly “straightforward” adaptation but is, especially recently, rapidly departing from the narrative of the TV show. Because I’m a huge dork who love structure, it is also structured based on the music of the band The Oh Hellos - specifically, the Anemoi Cycle, 4 EPs titled Notos, Eurus, Boreas, and Zephyrus.

Basically, this means that Willow contributes the characters and certain plot beats; Lancer contributes the setting and influences the tone somewhat; and The Oh Hellos provide the emotional structure and thematic resonances for the piece. I’m being relatively strict with the structure; each chapter is based on a song from the Anemoi Cycle, in order, as indicated by the chapter titles (which are lyrics from the relevant song, or the title in the case of instrumental-only tracks). The one exception to this is chapters 7-8, which both correspond to “New River” from Notos - it just got too unwieldy, and I decided it had to be split up for space. (I suspect the same will happen to chapters 15-16, which may both be “Passerine,” but we’ll see.) And the whole work, which is gonna weigh in around 30 chapters, is divided into 4 books, one for each EP. In Like Constellations, Book 1 focuses on Jade, Book 2 on Kit, Book 3 on Graydon, and Book 4 on Elora.  

If that seems obsessive or red-string-cork-boardy, it probably is. But the plus side is that I feel like I have a really strong sense of where I’m going, at least in broad strokes and thematic terms. I know what the beginning and end of each book are, and many of the key moments in between. So I am very confident that this will be finished.

How and Why did this Nonsense Happen?

First off: I love adaptation and find it fascinating. The shift from one setting to another or (even cooler) one medium to another? A delight. My brain thinks laterally, and it likes to make connections. 

But this was really all a sort of accident. I’d seen a lot of memes when Willow was airing (or just “viewable,” RIP) that compared the group to a D&D party, and I was a little salty because they are clearly playing a game of Thirsty Sword Lesbians.

(That’s not a joke, it’s a game and a great one that would legitimately give you Willow vibes in play, you should go buy it.)

ANYWAY! I was taking a look at Lancer, which is a game where (in the mech tradition) mechs are very personal and can be customized, and I got to thinking, “I wonder whether you could make a mech for each of the Willow characters?” I was just idly scrolling through them when I suddenly saw a mech and thought, “Oh hell yes, that’s Kit’s mech.” 

Here’s where I have to give credit to Parkinson-Morgan and Lopez, because the synergy of illustration and game design in Lancer is astounding. You look at the Metalmark and you (at least I) think, “Yeah, that looks like a great fighter who prioritizes speed and really wants to look cool while doing it,” and that’s exactly what it is in terms of game mechanics. So that was fun to create, and I think Kit would be happy with the mech I built her.

But I still thought, “Well, that’s fun but there’s no way you could really pull off the story of Willow in Lancer’s setting...I mean the whole arranged-marriage aspect alone doesn’t really fit the science-ficti--”

In all [worlds controlled by SSC, the corporation that produces Kit’s mech], their populations are tightly controlled through deep cultural manipulation to generate biome-specific lines of colony seed materiel. The people of these worlds are aware of SSC’s mission; they are freely associated members of the corpro-state, most of whom are as invested in its mission – literally – and are generally unconcerned with SSC’s human experimentation projects. Save for regular, culturally-appropriate samplings of genetic material (a few hairs, a drop of blood, a swab from inside the mouth) and an expectation of arranged coupling, life on Constellar Worlds is unremarkable and quiet.

--Lancer core rulebook, p. 399-400

And at that point, the fic just sort of started to fall into my head. Kit could be the child of a major SSC investor, maybe the head of a subsidiary company. A valuable part of SSC’s horrible eugenics-”light” project (no such thing as light eugenics, kids) trapped not by monarchy but by corporate contracts that predate her birth. Jade could be a ward of the “state” (that here being a corporation). Boorman a former space pirate. Graydon a valuable new gene sample. Elora a totally normal girl but with some unusual computer capabilities. Willow a “paracausal” scientist (”paracausality” is Lancer’s in-world term for totally-not-magic). 

I was listening to the Anemoi Cycle at the time suddenly thought, “Wait, this sort of works, too.” Because the Anemoi Cycle is about having a crisis of belief and questioning the community (particularly, the problematic community) you were raised in. It’s about the need for constant growth, compassion, human connection, and an awareness of the value of material human existence. All of these are themes I think are there in Willow too. So I started outlining and writing and...wrote really fast when I started and have since slowed down, lol. Life has gotten busier in the last several weeks, and now that I’m moving beyond Willow’s plot beats I have to tread more carefully to avoid trapping myself or espousing things I want to avoid. 

But I am very excited to keep working on this story, and I can’t wait to look back on it when it’s finished. If you made it to the end of this long, rambly tumblr post - thank you, please get yourself a cookie for me as thanks for listening to my far-too-verbose thoughts.

[chim-chim1310]

Before Seven release you said that you would drop jikook if there is het activity in the mv and you seemed to dread the idea of JK doing something like that. So i think a big part of the reason why you are so against JK suddenly has something to do with him pursuing a girl in the mv and you're just using jimin's blatant sabotage as an cover to hide your real reason for why you are so resentful. When radio impact was announced for Seven I didn't see you being hateful towards him. It only started after the mv. Cause how did you go from worshiping the ground he walks on to shit-talking him in 1 day?

Lol 🤣🤣

You got me wrong anon. It's okay. I'll explain.

I was angry about the sabotage even before that. Yeah I was dreading the idea because I used to ship jm and jk together and jk having a female lead in his mv meant that he was portraying himself as straight. So yeah I was upset about that.

I still tell people that I used to be a shipper. But I'm over that phase now girl.

I don't give a fuck anymore if jk is straight. I just don't care about him anymore? Like he can be straight or he can be gay or bisexual and fucking jimin, still I don't like jungkook anymore.

After the song came out I even gave my opinion on it. I said that i like the mv because it was cute and funny. And also in one of my posts I said that using 'she' pronoun in song doesnt make someone straight because a) jk didnt write the song and b) jimin also used 'she' in like crazy which is obviously about using sex and alcohol as coping mechanism but we all know that jimin is not straight. So yeah using she pronouns doesn't mean that that person is straight. Though that could be one of the explanations.

I've said all that. Didn't you see that? I was a shipper even after the MV came out. But I've been questioning jk for a long time now. You can see my post about jk copying jimin's concept. I was a jikooker at that time too but still I called jk out.

So no it's not because of him having a girl in the mv that made me dislike jk.

It started slow from jk copying jimin's concept and then when the song came out I started feeling a dislike towards jk because of the way he was acting and because I started thinking if jimin and jungkook are actually dating, how can jk do that to jimin? That's why I started questioning the ship and that's why I started disliking jk. Because jimin is my bias and jk is a huge reason and participant in jimin's sabotage.

It got nothing to do with sohee. Now I don't care about jk anymore. I don't care if he's straight, bisexual, gay.

Even if jk is gay or bi. And even if jimin and jungkook are dating that won't change my dislike towards jungkook as a person because he's a big part of jimin's sabotage. I hate the way he basically sold his soul, and now he's being arrogant and bragging about it.

If you think I'm mad at him from shipping perspective then no girl. If that was the case I would be rejoicing and jumping in happiness like other jikookers because jimin and jungkook spent time in US. But I'm not happy about that. I'm not happy about a potential jikook collab even though I'll still support it because it has jimin in it.

I've openly said that I was a shipper. I'm not ashamed of that. That time when I said that I was dreading the mv lol I feel embarrassed now but that time I was thinking from a shipping perspective. But I had been questioning jk's intention after SB for a long time even though I was still a shipper. It's just the way he acted after release that removed the shipping thing right out of my system. And the way the company treated seven. That too.

See shipping is not that serious. Some people are so deep into it. But I think it's mostly just a phase.

Like when I recently became a bts fan I used to read fanfictions on wattpad lol. But that was a phase and I passed through that and now I cringe at the same Wattpad stories and even crack jokes about it.

Same with the shipping. Though it's fairly recent. But it feels like I've just passed my shipping phase lol. And now I laugh and cringe at the way I acted when I was a shipper.

I'm sure some ex-jikookers can relate to me. Some jikookers were sensible to see what was actually happening with the songs was wrong and got out of the shipping thing. While some are just too deep in their fantasies that it might not be a phase for them anymore.

So anon. No. I didn't stop liking jungkook because he had a girl in the mv lol. I don't care if he's straight. I used to care about it only when I was a shipper. But since jungkook acted so brilliantly arrogant after getting the biggest company push and contributing nothing to the mediocre ass song and still bragging about how he had a gut feeling that armies would like the song when he knows damn well how much money hybe and SB are paying to shove seven down out throats, I stopped liking him.

Because he was a part in jimin's sabotage and nothing is more important to me than jimin.

Thank you.

[mrrosedoodler]

Howdy Everybody

It's been awhile. I apologize for my massive absence from Tumblr, Twitch, Youtube and socials in general. So much has happened since my last stream that I need to get everybody caught up to speed.

There's massive changes coming as well, and unfortunately, streams and videos are getting the biggest out of all of them. I'll talk about Twitch and Youtube in their own separate posts here, but for now I want to focus on my absence and why it took me so long to come back.

Here's the TL;DR at the start here:

I had to go to the hospital in April because I was showing symptoms of a stroke.

Thankfully, it wasn't a stroke, but I was kept so the doctors could figure out what might've happened to cause those symptoms.

The neurologist said that the symptoms I showed could've been the result of the stress I was under, the aftermath of the COVID strain I caught back in February amplifying my anxiety, autistic burnout/shutdown, or a mixture of those three.

Since then, I've gotten proper meds to deal with my anxiety, gotten therapy, changed up my diet, and have found my true calling in career terms.

Here's the full explanation (Under Read More):

In summary, this kinda started at the beginning of the year. First, a close family member of mine had a medical emergency in January. Then, in February, I caught COVID and was basically knocked out for two months. In March I tried to bounce back, but was still exhausted and sick.

Now we get to the real meat and potatoes. April. April is where things just hit the fan. I had an unbelievable amount of stress on me at the time. I won't go into too much detail since I don't want to trauma dump on here, but to put things into perspective; I was getting stress headaches incredibly often and was sick about 75% of the time I woke up.

Aaand now we're at the thing that caused me to fully stop. The hospital visit. I had to have a family member run me to the ER because my face drooped and I was out of it, and we thought that I was having a stroke. Got there, got through testing, and it turned out I was clear of anything that should have caused that. No palsy, no stroke, and nothing wrong with my brain that would have caused that.

Came to find out from the neurologist that upon reviewing my test results throughout the past few days, there were three things that might have happened to cause this.

The stress, of course. The doctor said that sometimes the body might react in the way it did when put under large amounts of stress.

COVID. Apparently they've found that COVID can get into your brain, and it tends to amplify mental health symptoms. And wouldn't you know it, my anxiety had been beginning to ramp up over time ever since I caught that newer strain in February. Not even knowing CBT and proper coping mechanisms could help me stop it on my own after that.

Autistic Burnout/Shutdown. The neurologist said that this could have also been the issue, considering I'm autistic. Which, in all honesty, made complete sense to me.

We also reviewed my diet and what could have been contributing to my stress there, what might have gotten my brain overloaded to such a degree, and where to go from there.

As of right now, I've gotten my emergency medication for my anxiety and I've been working to better my diet and mental health. I've also been trying to cut back on stress, rework myself, and find a proper job to have while I'm working on writing things out for some original projects of mine.

I've since found that any job that tends to associate with customer service, high amounts of stress, and people pleasing of any kind seems to not exactly be my speed. I've noticed I kinda tend to overdo it to the point of disregarding my own health and safety in order to ensure the people are content. . . Which is a yikes. Thus, I've been trying to see if I can get a job at the local libraries around me instead while I write things.

But yeah, that's the gist of it. I'd like to apologize for all of this, as I've been gone far longer than I had hoped to have been while trying to figure all of this out. Thankfully, now that I'm back, we can redirect and rebuild here!

Stay tuned for more updates on the state of my Twitch and Youtube; I'll be posting updates on those soon.

For now, make sure you guys are taking time to self-care! Eat, drink, and sleep properly, friendos! And don't worry, from now on, I'll also be taking that advice.

[myplushheart]

going over the inner meanings of some of my ship tags for fun

⚙️caws and beeps⚙️ -> the phonetic sounds of laughter from both po3 and bandit

👻the contract of a lifetime👻 -> the ultimate life lasting contract.. a marriage contract!

♦️playing hard to catch♦️ -> a play on the phrase “playing hard to get”, altered to fit into the tom and jerry chase and rivalry these two go through in their early days with nyxie being a snarky on the loose thief and scarab constantly being on her tail (literally!)

💐the tourist florists💐 -> in selfship canon, alive pheonix and tammie (my name for the florist) were traveling flower sellers! they settled down in the kingdom that prince and mj lived in, and that’s how they all met!

❄️soundbyte❄️ -> based off of how the ninjago fandom actually makes up their ship names. was originally going to be tagged with “soundbyteshipping” but i felt like that was too long. soundbyte is a play on the fact they’re both robots, and how my s/i has the power of sound or, mainly, loud music!

🍌starting anew with you🍌 -> in selfship canon, yomiel actually breaks it off with fiancé sissel, because he tells her he wants her to move on and not have to wait for him for ten years in prison. he’s changed too much, and there’s things from his “past” he can’t bare keeping from her against her knowledge. this was all true, but it was also because in that erased painful timeline, he met someone new, and wanted to reunite with them.. wonder who that could be! (it’s me :3)

💼hey chicken tender!💼 -> created with the idea that parsley purposefully calls me chicken tender from the one goof up with “flower vender” becoming mixed up with “chicken tender”. it’s now just because an inside joke, and she’s still called that by him because she’s so obsessed with eating chicken tenders.

🎤the sound of your heart beeps🎤 -> a pun on “heart beat”, being changed into “heart beeps” because of the monitor always on his screen.

🎲dots and spots🎲 -> king dice has dice dots all over his head, and pupup has freckles!

🎰some bad rng🎰 -> a joke on the mix of a character with horrible luck and a character who’s power is “glitch”, aka working like game glitches.

⚔️sister from another mister⚔️ -> chip is basically an adopted sister into the borg family, so she’s pixals sister from another mister! the mister in question being her original creator, aka real dad, the mechanic.

💰i stole your heart first!💰 -> wouldn’t you believe it, gaster actually fell for minu first.. so a fun little bit on thievery with our infamous cringefail criminal!

🦅the best part of july🦅 -> when i made this, i think i was holding some strong spite for the history of july 1st? but apollo’s birthday is on july 1st, so he makes it all worth it!

🏜️luck of the draw🎰 -> they both use guns! that was my only thought process. luck of the draw is basically zora being always lucky with her shots, conveyed with “draw” being used in a different context, and gansley also having his own sort of.. “”luck”” with his draws.

🎵crimes and covers🎵 -> randomly came up with this one day and thought it was too good to not use. singing while they do crimes together! and covering up evidence maybe.

👻till death did we part✨ -> mj, pheonix, and snatcher weren’t able to all be together until they died and had the freedom of eternal afterlife. a play on “till death do we part”.

🖋️writing our own path🖋️ -> designer and narry decide to create their own path of life instead of being confined to the programs of the game! narry is only convinced with how out of the box designer can always be, so now they live normal like stanley. the best they can live normally when they’re still practically gods, that is..

❤️your doom draws near❤️ -> a pun! draw is inputted for tablets artistic ability, and the rest is all 4s. sorry this explanation isn’t great, it’s basically a big ol’ pun..

🕶️coffee brown fur🕶️ -> mick works in a coffee shop that agent one comes to all the time! alongside agent one also being a werewolf in this selfship canon. his fur is brown, like coffee!

🐍would you go with me?🐍 -> a reference to the country song under the same name by Josh Turner. it screams striker to me, so i decided to use it for his tag!

🏜️runtime error🏜️ -> actually made up by one of my friends! shout out to you, mel. thanks for saving my ass on this one

(feel free to ask about any other ones, if you wanna! i like talking about my ships :3)