#also also do you really think the things I’d tell my husband about our relationship are that generic!

[rookiesbookies]

Captain John MacTavish x His wife x Sergeant Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish

I dont know how it would happen but i'm imagining sweet little Johnny ‘Soap’ Mactavish meeting Captain MacTavish and his wife. I guess this is me rewriting what happened bc Im made we’ll probably never see Neil as his boy again. 

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

Smut smut smut under the cut for my lovely mutual @shotmrmiller of my John and his wife meet sweet little Johnny au thing.

Also @glitterypirateduck this one is for you and #soapitup

“Bhean,” he whispers loudly, following it with squirrel noises, motioning for her to follow. She walks out of the recreational room. He nuzzled bis face into her neck, letting her know he was nervous about what he was going to say. “I'm getting serious deja vu.”

“Talk to me, Goose.” A shameless quote of their favorite date night movie from when they dated made his nervous face crack a smile.

“I have this crazy memory,” he mumbled into her neck, she always worried he’d hurt himself craning it down like that so often.

“What about, don’t leave me on cliff hangers, Mr. MacTavish.”

“Do you remember our first time together?”

“Skiing or fucking? Because I remember both very well.” He chuckled at her bringing up his failed skiing attempts from a vacation they went on.

“Making love, Bonnie.” He hummed, “would you believe me if I told ya it’s because I had done it before?”

“Considering baby you told me he’d call me mommy? Yes. Yes, I would.” She hummed. “You also found my clit really fast which makes that really reasonable in retrospect.”

“What if, like my future self taught me at that stage, we teach him how to make love to you so he can charm you with the monster.” It came out more as a question, making his nerves hammer against his chest. He was more than sure he beloved wife would say yes, but he didn’t want to risk making her uncomfortable or saying it wrong. 

“He does really want to impress me,” she mumbled. “Fine. But there’s ground rules.”

“Of course, Mo chridhe, anything.”

“Just the tip, you know how I am about hygiene. I don’t fully try young you to keep everything clean. He swears to secrecy and if I ever think for a second he mentions this im ending his blood line. And you stay with us. You are my husband after all, not the boy.” The Captain nodded with every word. He’d make sure. He knew the Sergeant would want no harm to come to his future wife, and the Captain didn’t need a scorched relationship.

“Thank you, Mo leannan, it’s what helped me keep up hope I could lock you down when I met you when I was his age.”

“So it was a memory and more than deja vu?” She asked with a raised brow.

The Captain just simply nodded, planting a kiss on her temple, “you’d tell me if you wanted to back out right? If it made you uncomfortable?”

“John.” She was serious, she never called him just ‘John’. “I expect the same from you. And you’d know I’d never keep that from you.”

She reached up to his face and gently rubbed it. He melted just a little bit into her touch. “I assume you don’t plan to do this on base?”

“No, but that’s the hard part.” “I’ll handle it, go tell the mini you,” she said softly, planting a kiss before walking away.

The Captain sighed and let his shoulders relax, he knew he was so lucky to have her. The sergeant was about to be the lucky one though.

He made his way down the hall and stole his past self from a conversation with Gaz. “My wife and I have decided to give you an opportunity to learn more about her.” He said in a low deep voice. “I will be teaching you about her body so you can please her but there are ground rules she set and a few of my own.” Once he covered his wife’s, he got on to his own, “do not bite her, dig your nails into her, or ignore me if I tell you to do something. No coming inside either and don’t try anything.” Sergeant Soap nodded along, “I’m not sure you’re actually listening, sergeant.” The Captain growled. Soap’s eyes went wide, “Captain me, sir, I prayed last night for an opportunity to feel her skin, honestly I was just expecting to be allowed to shake her hand.” The younger Soap grumbled, “believe me, I’m all ears.” “And none of that ‘I have a latex allergy so I can’t wear condoms’ crap. I know we don’t have that allergy. You will be wearing one.” “You’re so no’ fun,” Soap mumbled. “Fine.”

The Captain didn’t entirely know how he felt about the kid creaming his wife. Sure, it was him, but it was a younger, rowdier, dumber him and not his same body. Getting married meant he was the only one allowed to cream pie his wife, and yes, it is a version of him, it wouldn’t be the same as him doing it. Even if his wife is on birth control and enjoys them, he knows he’d get jealous, way too jealous. Besides it’s his job anyway, he signed a paper to be able to do it, and this kid version gets to just randomly do it.

“So when do I get to show mo bhean how a younger body is better to make love with?” Sergeant asked, patting his older self on the back. This made the Captain flip until the voice of an angel spoke up.

“Ya mean when you meet yer own damn wife. Ya wee-” the Captain’s rage was cut off. “Tomorrow night. I’ll be there ahead of schedule to prepare, my husband will drive you.” She said, walking past the two with effortless grace and a sway of her hips. She flicked a piece of hair back over her shoulder. 

The next 24 hours were full of different forms of tension for younger Soap. He was eager, so eager, almost too eager in the Captain’s eye. The Captain’s raging jealousy made him almost want to shut down the whole thing. 

When he loaded the sergeant and himself into the old truck he sighed. “Remember the rules?” “Of course.”

“Can’t believe you still own this truck.” “She’s carried me through a lot.” “When you meet YOUR wife, she’ll appreciate it. Square bodies are her favorites.”

The rest of the drive was small talk. The sergeant saw a notification appear on the Captain’s phone and snatched it up, since the captain was driving. He back read the short conversation from this morning between the Captain and his wife, who had been the notification. ‘Mo chridhe you better not warm yourself up on that clarty vibrator’

‘You expect him to be able to get me warmed up enough?’

‘Its a teaching experience, mo leannan’

‘I don’t want to make him wait too long, I remember how impatient you were <3’

“Does she think ima div?” Soap looked at the Captain and asked. “Reading my personal texts? Real professional, ya eejit.”

“Does she think I can’t make her feel good? Or make her feel like she’s on Eccie?”

“No, she just doesn’t want you to wait too long. She does this. I bought it for her first time I left on a long mission, now she uses it to take away the fun part of getting her warmed up.”

“So she thinks I'm a fandan.”

“Dinnae fash yersel.” The Captain sighed, “we’re here and the least ya can do is make her feel good as a thank you.”

When he dragged his younger self into the hotel room, it finally set in that he was going to be cucked. By a younger him. Fucking his wife.

He knocked on the door twice and it kind of felt like his wedding night all over again. There she stood in a silk robe, eyes only on him with a gentle and soft smile. It's a smile she only gave when she was nervous, he gave a similar smile back to let her know he felt the same. It was subtle, but he reminded him this was indeed his beautiful wife.

“Go strip in the bathroom and sit down in the chair when you’re done, we need to talk.” The Captain said sharply. 

“Aye aye Captain,” the sergeant mumbled, walking into the bathroom. 

The Captain’s hands immediately found his way to his wife’s hips. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked, holding her close with his mouth near her ear between kisses he placed in her hair.

“Of course,” she said softly into his chest.

“Do you need to back out? We can leave and forget all about this if you need.”

“Do you need me to want to back out?” She asked soft, turning her head to look up into his eyes.

“No, I don’t think so, mo bonnie lass.” He said, planting a kiss on her forehead. “Give me a safeword to give him and a safeword for emergencies.”

“Two levels of safe words?” 

“Just in case I don’t hear the first one, he’s kinda loud.” She giggled and placed a kiss on his neck.

“Bubbles for him and Soap for emergencies.”

“My old callsign?”

“I never call you anyway,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Can I undress you and keep that privilege to myself?” All he needed was the little nod she gave before he moved to untie the robe. 

The lace blue bra she had been taunting him with with the matching panties drove him crazy. She ran her hands up and around his chest as his opened the clasp with one motion and undid the hooks holding the straps over her shoulders so she didn't have to remove her hands from his torso.

He sunk down lower as he planted sloppy kisses down her body and removed her underwear. Lovely pacing a kiss at her lower lips before trailing bite marks backup as the Sergeant exited the bathroom.

“I thought you said I couldn’t bite!” He accused as he watched the Captain leave a hickey on his wife’s chest.

“YOU can’t, I can.” This made the younger Soap look offended. The Captain smirked at the Sergeant’s face. “My wife, remember. Not yours.”

His wife just ran her fingers through his slightly grown out mohawk, a means to sooth him. 

Captain MacTavish moved to his wife’s ear and whispered softly, “may I told yer hand through this, mo ghraidh?”

“Gu sìorraidh is gu bràth,” she said back, pointing to the tattoo on her collarbone. When Soap heard it he almost fainted.

“She knows the language?” Sergeant Johnny asked.

The Captain hummed, pulling his mouth away from the dark hickey he was leaving on her neck, “learned a little bit for me.”

The Captain gave his younger self a once over before landing a sarcastic remark as his eyes landed on the bush, “glad to know you haven’t started shaving yet.”

“You trim?”

“Occasionally,” the Captain pulled his waistband down a bit, nuzzling into his wife, “I wax for special occasions. Yer lucky I found one who doesn’t care.”

The Captain locked his fingers with his wife’s, gently herding her to the bed. He laid her down gently and got her into a good position, shoving a few of the lousy pillows under her waist to offer a better angle.

“How are you?” He asked softly, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “Ready as I can be,” she said with a soft giggle, as he bent down to plant a kiss on her lips.

“Sergeant, come here.” The Captain commanded, pointing at the foot of the bed, his wife couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as she dropped her hand over her face. The Captain moved his wife’s knees apart with his free hand, the other still lovingly holding her’s. Johnny got on his own knees as John commanded him as he spread his wife’s pussy lips apart with his fingers. “Ya see that?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, sir,” John corrected Johnny. He basically gave his younger self a tour of his wife’s softest pieces. Telling Johnny her favorite things that he does and what she reacts best to. Johnny was so enthralled with her body he could move his eyes anywhere else. Especially when John put his fingers inside and curled them suddenly making her gasp so Johnny knew how far in her g spot was. The way her body jolted and softly raised as the gasp left her lips was his new favorite thing. He was so jealous he didn’t have her yet. That she wasn’t his wife yet, that he didn’t have the liberty to mark her body yet. “Get to work,” the Captain said, patting Johnny. He didn’t need to say it twice because Johnny went right in.

The wife brought her free hand down to her mouth to hold in the gasps and moans as Johnny ate so eagerly. John was usually slow and sensual, to the messy and a vehement eating that was happening at her core was a much different sensation. John gently pulled her hand away.

“Checkin in with ya, are ya doing good?” he asked his lovely wife. Her eyes couldn’t focus, her mouth gaping and shutting. 

She gave a nod and a hum as her body started to clench as Johnny inserted fingers between her legs and curled, making her body lurch towards the sky and gasp. The Captain gently placed kisses on her face, her velvety cries just make Johnny want to do it again. “She’s even prettier from this view,” Johnny mumbled, spreading her apart with his fingers.

“She donnae like condoms but imma make ye wear one anyway,” Captain Mactavish told his younger self before placing a kiss to the forehead of his flushed wife, still coming down from her orgasm as her husband ran his fingers through her hair as her breathing slowed with her closed eyes. John threw the condom at Johnny, who quickly rolled it on before standing up. “Donnae force it in, go in slow.”

Johnny positioned himself, putting one of the lovely wife’s ankles to his shoulder before giving it a soft kiss. He didn’t dare pull her down the bed like he would have normally done, he walked on his knees to meet her. Hands sliding down her legs to lift her ass, one he saw as so perfect.

He slowly slid it in as John kissed his wife’s face, holding her hand. She was more than used to John’s dick by now, but she was far from used to Johnny’s pacing. So much energy and stamina, not to say John didn’t have it but John was definitely more about making love than he was about fucking or just having sex.

Once she started to grind her hips, Johnny’s face lit up and he immediately started a toe curly, back arching pace. His tip bullied her g spot, making her mouth fall open but no sound falling from her lips.

John cooed at her as Johnny bullied her soft parts, not caring about his own pleasure, solely the pleasure of this goddess in front of him. Once he was sure he had found the spot, Johnny folded her a bit more to hit it a bit deeper, making sure everything was dragging against her.

The only thing that left her were whines, she felt her melted brain might just spill out her ears as the white, staticy heat built up. 

A nice ring built up around Johnny’s cock as he began to roll his hips. Her pulsating cunt milked him so much he felt an almost numbness in his fingers as all he could do was hold her and roll his hips as she let out a broken moan and came. Her husband’s voice echoing around her head with praises and loving words.

It was down right impossible for Soap to not come from her body's pulsations so he did. He wished it hadn’t been into a condom but he was grateful he just got the chance.

John gave him a look and Johnny took it knowingly, going to get a warm and damp towel. He handed it to John who began to clean his wife up, nodding to Johnny to let him know he could leave. 

Johnny didn’t know it was so John could reclaim his wife with some slow sensual sex and lots of love bites.

John, unlike Johnny, was going to come inside. Johnny looked at the photo he had taken of himself with the wife of Captain John from the night prior, "I'm going to marry you. Yer the one I've been looking for."

[thepupperino]

Hiiii, Keely! It’s been a while since I’ve found myself in the inbox of my mutuals with a thoughtful question about our boys. However, we’re preparing for the hurricane down this way and I’m looking for something to keep me occupied — like talking to all of my beautiful lovely friends!!

So what I want to discuss today is the love language of our boys. What love language(s) do you think they each excel at and which one(s) do they struggle with the most? Do you think their love language(s) have changed since the beginning? Do you think they still excel or struggle with a certain one(s)?

I would also like to pick your brain on your thoughts of how they protect one another — how they protect one another physically, how they protect one another’s peace, how they protect each other mentally, etc! 🩵

— Much love, Chey

Hi I almost accidentally deleted this instead of answering and my life flashed before my eyes

Anyway THANK YOU for asking this was very fun 😈

So I feel like it’s pretty universally believed that Mickey’s a big acts of service guy, but…can I be honest? I know the man loves a grand gesture, but I think that’s different than acts of service. Honestly the grand gestures almost feel like gift giving to me? Plus I love believing that Mickey grabs a Kind bar for Ian every time he stops at a gas station. I don’t know, especially growing up poor, it changes the way you think about material possessions, and I think he’d want to give everything he can to Ian

I think Mickey probably struggles with words of affirmation—at least receiving it. Like he’s probably more comfortable with it now, but I think for a long time he felt weird about Ian saying nice things to him and was pretty dismissive of any compliments

I 100% believe Ian is a physical touch man—he’s ALWAYS touching Mickey (hand on knee my beloved). I think he just loves being close to him. Plus obviously their sex life has always been…fulfilling and Ian was down bad from the start so I think that plays into it

I also love thinking of him as a words of affirmation guy because I really latch onto the fact that he tested out of English so I KNOW he’s good with words and I know he writes the cutest, sweetest little cards for Mickey on his birthday or their anniversary

Hmm what does Ian struggle with…? Ironically I think he might be a little resistant to gift giving because I think he’s the saver in the relationship, so Mickey keeps getting him these little “I’m thinking of you” gifts and Ian’s like stressing about rent (but also he loves it because that’s his HUSBAND and he’s thinking about him 🥹)

And I don’t know if love languages have changed since the beginning per se, but they’ve obviously both become more comfortable with expressions of love throughout their relationship and I’m having a lot of feelings about that

PROTECTION?! Well physically they will literally kill for each other if push comes to shove I am very confident in that. For some reason I like to think that Ian always tries to walk closer to the road so Mickey won’t get hit if a car swerves or something and Mickey thinks he’s dumb but lets him do it anyway. And Mickey wants to be facing the door on dates and stuff so he can size people up and assess any threats

Protecting each other’s peace I think they’re both willing to be the bad guy if they need an out. Like if Ian just can’t handle being around his family for some reason, Mickey’s like “tell ‘em I’m not in the mood”

MENTALLY I have a lot of feelings 😭 obviously canonically Mickey is great with Ian’s bipolar (we pretend Hall of Shame doesn’t exist) and I think that continues and grows (“I gotta worry, you’re my husband” my beloved). I think he’s VERY aware of potential triggers and warning signs and I think he’s supportive AND gives Ian space when he needs it because he likes his autonomy and independence

I think Mickey has a lot of unresolved trauma and I’m not like his therapist or anything but I’d want to assess for PTSD and generally unhelpful cognitions, and I love the idea that he goes to therapy some day (honestly I’d love if they both did), but I think Ian is really good at holding space for him to share what he’s thinking about AND I think he’s eventually willing to do that

Anyway I hope that answered your questions and PLEASE feel free to send me more, I love thinking about them

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

Request:  fuegoleon nsfw fic with wife s/o who's really hot? Fuego has been really busy with work lately and s/o feels neglected and sadly tells him one day that she's the only one who wants him but he doesn't want her? And it kinda hits a switch in fue, because he just can't fathom his wife thinking that HE doesn't want her, and he goes feral? Overstim, breeding kink, Dom!Fuego Lots of adorable aftercare too of you're okay with it🥰

A/N: Hiya! I got immersed into this while writing it, and it’s not 100% on with her telling him that she’s the only one wanting him, but the theme is there. This is also the hardest smut I’ve written to this day, I think, because while my Fuelara smut has been longer and more romantic, this is harder. Anyways, I do hope that you like it. And now I need a cold shower 🥵

Pairing: Fuegoleon x f!reader (written in 1st person POV)

Fanfic type: Oneshot

Genre: Smut, hurt-comfort

Length: ~3.0k

Warnings: smut, cunnilingus (reader receiving), vaginal sex, creampie, no mention of birthcontrol, overstimulation (reader receiving), breeding kink, one mention of face fucking but no actual act, implied cervix fucking, crude language (”fuck me”), reader and Fue and married (established relationship), Fue says “I love you” mid act, Dom!Fue, aftercare minors DNI

It’s quiet. Well, if you don’t count the crickets. A part of me is surprised that there are already crickets at this time of the year, even if the summer is warm, which is why I have the window open in the first place. And another part of me is still glad that I can still hear them.

Another, much smaller, part. The part is muffled under the sigh that leaves my lips in an effort to relieve the restlessness in my body. But even if I wandered off from the open window, I’d find my way back to it soon enough I’m sure. Because the cool night air feels as if a caress against my skin.

A caress… that I crave for. The caress that I’ve longed for… for too many nights.

They say that the time your relationship is passionate is short, a few months, a year if you’re lucky, and then it starts to die down. I suppose I should say that I am luckier than most people then, granted that it took so long for us to get to this place. We had a good run… But that makes is sound like we would be heading for a divorce, which is far from the truth.

It’s not… bad… our relationship. It’s just more like a partnership. A business deal. And I could certainly do a lot worse, which argues against divorce.

Plus… I still love him.

And I hope… I hope that he still loves me. He says that he does, but the lack of touch, more than the generic hand on the shoulder in passing, speaks a different tale.

I hope that he loves me… and I hope that he still wants me.

There’s a thought that occurs to me, a very distasteful thought that makes me nauseous for a passing second.

But I know that he’s not the kind of a man to cheat on his wife. He’s not the type of a person to go behind one’s back and seek comfort in the arms of another.

I still love, and trust, my husband.

He’s simply a busy man, that’s all. And he is busy. There is a lot on his shoulders. I want to trust that, that’s all there is to it. I want to believe that he’s just tired… But there is not even a gaze to my direction anymore. Before, his busy schedule didn’t stop us. Though a long, sweaty night, or just a few hours of passionate, romantic love making was preferrable, a quicky was never out of the question.

And I swear, all the times I went down on him in his office, behind his desk, despite him feeling conflicted about doing such a thing in his office, he loved it. The way he smile, and the glimmer in his eyes told me that he drank it up like a starving man.

Besides, he never seemed all that … un-eager to do so. If anything, he seemed more concerned about my integrity than anything else. But we were married, and me going down on my husband was far from a scandalous thing. Though the rumours, and the noble circles might blow it out of proportions for some time, who cares? They can blow it out, and I can simply blow my husband.

Come to think of it…. How long has it been since the last time I went down on him?

How long ago was it that I last… satisfied myself?

It doesn’t feel right doing so in our bed, when he’s in deep slumber right there. And he could walk in on me in the shower, though I suppose that’s just wishful thinking.

I no longer know. All I do know is that it’s been long… far too long… And I have to wonder if he really does want me anymore… Because… though I’m only a few years younger than he is, maybe my body has changed away from his liking. Maybe I’m not… firm enough, perky enough, thin enough… Though I don’t think I have changed all that much since we met.

I… think…?

I don’t think I have changed that much. But maybe that’s just him losing his rose coloured glasses.

Maybe…

I sight to myself again as the loneliness I feel wraps around me as if a blanket, but that blanket just makes the warmth between my legs intensify and a knot form into my lower stomach which is trying to grasp onto something that isn’t there.

The door opens and closes behind me, and I hear another heavy sigh.

“My love? You didn’t need to stay up and wait for me,” his tone is warm and caring, but it is also tired.

I can’t blame him for it. I can’t blame him for being tired.

“I know….” I tell him as I walk away from the window and closer to him with my arms wrapped around myself, pressing the silken fabric of my nightgown against my skin even tighter. “And I know that you’re tired, but… there’s… something I want to talk to you about,” I admit, because this has gone for long enough. And there seems to be no end in sight to his schedule, so this night is as good as any.

“What is it?” He asks, and the question is fair. It’s frank, on point, and it is fair.

“I’ve… been… I’ve been wondering if…” I glance at the ceiling, because though this is hard, it’s a lot harder than I think. Because I don’t want to admit that I feel neglected. I don’t want to admit that I feel a yearning for him, even if I do. Though some time back I wouldn’t have as much as blinked about telling him that I want him.

Because I did. I do… I do want him.

“Yes?” His eyes are full of worry. There is a small frown on his face as he stands there, so close to me.

I can feel his warmth radiating through the air, and I can smell the faint scent of his lavender hair oil.

By gods how I miss that scent… I miss busying my nose into those auburn locks as his hands run over my body and I… miss him moving over mine, under mine… in mine…

I miss… him. All of him…

“Tell me, what’s wrong,” he implores again, this time with a tone that is both concerned and unwavering. He wants to know. He wants to know, because he cares. I know as much.

But it doesn’t make it any easier. However, regardless of whether it’s easy or not, I need to tell him. This is something that just needs to be discussed.

“I…” I utter while looking to the side. “I know that you’ve been busy lately, but I’ve…” I trail off again, because though that’s true, it’s only loosely connected to what I want to say.

So, I take a deep breath, and swallow, before whispering: “Do you… still… want me…?”

He takes a moment. But the moment, which must be no longer than a few seconds, feels much, much longer. It feels like an hour, a day, one fifth of an eternity.

“Do I still… want you?”

There is amusement in his tone. It is disbelieving amusement. It sounds like the question is absurd to him. Much more than to me.

“My love… Every night that you’re not next to me, I ache for you. Every day I long for you. And… I know that I’ve been tied to my job far too much as of late, it’s every day that I find myself craving for you.”

He takes a step closer to me. The warmth radiating through the air grows stronger, and I can hear his breathing growing lower, heavier… louder.

His hands take a hold of me…

“I crave… for you…” he whispers like sin, like the words that drip from his lips would be sweet like honey, decadent and filled with lust that he is feeling, just as me.

I turn to look at him, and I press closer to him, but that’s the last thing I realize before finding myself on our bed.

His frame, which is much broader than mine, is over me. His eyes, in the dim light of the bedroom, seem dark, like velvet, but the spark cast by the light of his flames, makes him seem hungry. It tastes like passion, feels like lust, and sounds decadent, like sin itself.

But I don’t mind the sin, not if it’s him.

I don’t mind the way he rips off my nightgown with an apology.

“I’ll buy you a new one…” he half whispers, half growls.

But I don’t mind.

I most certainly don’t mind.

I don’t mind as he pressed his head between my legs, and licksssss…

But it’s just a tiny, little kitten lick with the tip of his tongue.

I can still feel his breath gliding over me, over my clit, over my folds and his right there! But all he does is make the little lick that doesn’t satiate my hunger.

“Please…” I utter, but that’s when I realize that he’s just admiring me, because…

“You look gorgeous from every angle,” he tells me before pressing his mouth against my lower set of lips.

And he is hungry.

His tongue dances around, dips inside of and swirls around as my walls try to hold onto him. I try and I try as I clench the sheets in my fists. It’s been so long, and it feels so good… The way his tongue moves in and out and around in me…

And I want him in!

“Please!” I cry out to him and all he does is press his face harder against my folds as his fingers press harder against the tender flesh of my ass.

He hums, sending vibrations through me, and that’s when my toes curl and I see stars.

But that’s not enough for him.

I can feel his tongue licking around everything that flowed out of me with my orgasm, as he’s casing another high of mine.

His nose is pressed against my clit, and occasionally he flicks it with his tongue. And every time he does, I can’t help but mewl at him. Be-cause! Because… I need him, I want him, inside of me!

And his tongue isn’t enough. It is just not enough!

“Honey! I want-,” I manage through my pants, and I’m sure he can hear the desperation as my legs tremble. As they shake under him.

He lifts his head, and my hips jerk up, as if they’d crave for the touch as much as I do, and my legs open wider for him. Which makes his eyes glance down to my trembling, wet core, and then to my eyes as a smirk, a proud, grinning smirk frames those purple eyes that look like lust and velvet.

“I can’t… take this teasing anymore,” I tell him as my body is already on edge from the stimulation.

“Well…” he utters, looking pleased, and a bit smug, I have to admit. But then again he has every right to look as smug as he does, because he just make me cum for the 4th time tonight. “If you so wish,” he continues as he climbs on top of me and takes off his pants.

His cock is hard. It’s pointing upwards and the tip is oozing with precum.

It is twitching.

And it takes everything in my not to crawl down, shift down under him, against the sheets, and engulf that cock into my mouth.

He has never, properly, fucked my face, and he probably wouldn’t because he prefers me to be able to breathe. But if I did, that’d probably be the closest we’d get to it.

It might be, but I don’t have time to think about it more, as his cock is already sliding over my wet slit effortlessly, teasing my sensitive bundle.

I moan, and I gasp, but not in the way I would if he had inserted it.

He’s teasing me more, and as much as I love it, I hate it. Because this isn’t-, it’s not what I-

I don’t use crude vocabulary in bed. I don’t curse. And I’m bad at dirty talk, but…

“Fuck me,” I tell him.

His eyes open wider. He seems surprised by my words. But the surprise is quickly overtaken by more amusement.

“Breed me!” I tell him.

And he chuckles. He chuckles, but there is devilish intent in those eyes that stare down at me.

“You wish my seed to paint your insides that badly?” He asks with a smirk, and he has every right to smirk.

“Yes.”

And then he pushes in. With one. Swift. Motion.

My back arches, and I see stars again as I cum.

And through the white noise, through the sound of blood rushing in my ears, I hear him chuckle with a pleased sound. He is pleased. Because the way he has stimulated my body to this point, made it possible for me to cum with just him inserting himself inside of me.

“I’m going to cum inside of you,” he tells me, and I love that he tells me, that he whispers it against my ear with that low, sultry voice of his. “And then I’m going to…” he pauses, to choose the words, but instead of what I might expect, he chooses the words, the crude words that I chose a moment before. “I am going to… fuck you, with my sperm still inside of you.”

And by the gods, this man, this man who is my husband, who has talked so eagerly about starting a family with me, is driving me to oblivion in the best possible way.

He pushes in, and out, and in and out and I… loose track of how many times I cum. But when he pushes down once, and hard, and warmth spreads within me, the corners of my lips tug up because I know that he came.

He came and he’s still in me, plugging me up so that all of his seed stays inside of me.

“And now, my love…” he murmurs against my ear as his hand settles onto my cheek.

He lowers down, and pressed a kiss onto my lips. One, hard, passionate kiss…

And then his hand trails down to my neck… his big, broad hand that could wrap around my neck effortlessly… It trails down, and down, and down, until he scoops my legs and he presses me into a breeding press.

“I’m going to rid any loneliness from you,” he promises as his hips pump up. And. Down.

His hips slap against mine, as he pins me down. And his cock reaches all the way to my cervix. It’s like he wants to give it a French kiss.

And he can. He can. He can, he can, he can…

My walls clench around him, and I can feel my fluids mixing together with his between our legs. The damp, sticky feel that I don’t mind.

I don’t mind.

I don’t think to mind.

Because I’m focused on every groove, every vein of his cock as he slams in, and out, and back in me again. The way my body clenches around him, trying to keep a hold of him. Desperately tries to embrace him as he slides out, and then back to me again.

Drool drips from the side of my face as my eyes roll back, and all I can think is the building ecstasy in me.

His breathing rings next to my ear, and it’s growing unsteady. And still…

“I love you…” he murmurs, nearly growls as he slams his hips against mine for one… last, time, pressing himself against my cervix.

My toes curl, and my fingers press against the skin of his back so hard as I scream out his name while coming undone under him.

I can feel my body twitching from the pure bliss. Trying to clasp onto him again. But I’m also growing relaxed as I’m coming around from the orgasm.

He pulls out and lays down next to me as his fingers trail over my skin with a feather light touch. His eyes are on me, looking around, trying to spot any signs of discomfort while simultaneously admiring me.

I turn to my side while catching my breath, and snuggle close to him, against his chest.

“Are you alright, my love?” He asks as his fingers draw circles onto my back; his words cascading onto me like a dawn, like silk and every good thing in the world.

“Yes,” I tell him, while still trying to gasp for air, but there is a smile on my face.

He leans down to place a kiss onto my head before laying down properly next to me, head on the pillow. His eyes are still looking over me, but now the gaze is filled with almost only admiration, no searching for signs of discomfort. Because there aren’t any.

Only those of fulfilment.

He still loves me, and wants me. Just as I still love and want him.

And even when I close my eyes, I can still feel him lying there, his hand carefully tracing over my skin. He’s so close, so very close that I can almost feel his heart beating for me through the air.

But the thing is, I know that it’s there without feeling it. I had simply forgotten it. I had forgotten how he, how this stern, loyal, loving and caring man is when he is in love.

Now I remember, and I never intend to forget again.

[sciencegothic]

hello!! curious to know ur thoughts on penelope / telemachus / the suitors!! penelope has always been so interesting to me as a character & i’d love to know what ur take on her is!!

hello! thank you for the ask !!

right off the back i’ll say, i am so excited to see more of penelope in the musical. i haven’t read the odyssey myself (i do want to though, eventually), so this is my first introduction to a chunk of these characters and most of the storylines. penelope is really interesting to me, then, because she sort of haunts the narrative for a large portion of the musical before she actually shows up. odysseus mentions her constantly, she is reason to keep pushing, but we - the audience (if we’re looking purely in the context of the musical - haven’t met her, we don’t know anything about her.

and then we do meet her but… not really. the siren presents as penelope and gives us a glimpse into what she could be like, what her and odysseus’ relationship could be, but it’s not really something that can be seen to be accurate because the sirens are deceitful and ody is playing their game. what this does do, though, is reveal how deep odysseus’ love for penelope goes, that the siren would know to take her form to try and seduce him. i also think “the things i would do for you” line is about how odysseus is going to kill the sirens in order to get back to the real penelope.

we do hear penelope two other times in the sagas that we have so far, and i think these are both very interesting. first, in keep your friends close, odysseus dreams of her, and it is the dream version of her that warms him the wind bag is being opened. i think it’s telling how desperate ody wants to get back to her that his dream penelope would be the one to warm him of this, but it could also imply that that’s the sort of person she is, someone who looks out for danger and tries to keep him safe. we here here voice again in scylla, telling odysseus that she can take his suffering way. these are not her words though, they are the siren’s echoed in ody’s mind. he is so desperate to see his wife that he is using the words of a monster in her voice to push himself to get back to her.

but, okay, that’s all penelope through odysseus, what about penelope herself? we are told by telemachus (more on him soon) in legendary:

There are strangers in our halls Tryin' to win the heart of my mom, but she is standing tall 108 old faces of men who call me small They keep takin' space and it's not much longer we can stall

there are men trying to force penelope’s hand, to force her into marriage, and she is “standing tall”. twenty years her husband has been gone, twenty years and he might well be dead. but she is still standing talk for him. because just as odysseus is fighting tooth and nail to get back to itacha, penelope has devoted her life to waiting for him there. one thing we know for certain about her: she loves him.

there’s some pretty dark connotations with antinous’ line in legendary too, an implication that at least some of the suitors care less about being king and more just want to take advantage of the situation to take advantage of penelope. it’s shows, while not the same experiences, penelope is still fighting her own war back in itacha. she is suffering in waiting for odysseus. but she still waits. she still does not choose a new man. and doesn’t that say so much about the person she is? about how much she values love, and how strong a resolve she must have to keep standing her ground against all of this?

it’s no wonder she has a son who is so desperate to be a hero. telemachus’ desire to fight and “be legendary” is attested mostly to odysseus - the stories of him at least. but penelope must be the one telling these tales, and it tells of a lot how she wants her son to view his father. she doesn’t know what odysseus has done within the last twenty years, she doesn’t know if he’s even still alive. but she still wants to paint him as a hero because she has faith that he will get home one day to prove it. and she wants her son to know the type of person he could become. so, really, she deserves some credit for shaping him into a hero.

telemachus as a whole reflects odysseus in the early sagas, but especially the glimpses of a young odysseus we see in warrior of the mind. his willingness to fight, his casual nature around a literal goddess and desire to befriend her, his desire to be something more - it’s all things we’ve seen in his father. he has so much faith in his mother to believe she telling him the truth about a man he’s never met, and so much faith in his father to believe he is that man. but he does have that faith, that hope, because he still has reason to hope.

i think telemachus and the suitors are an interesting dynamic. because really, he shouldn’t matter to them. they’re just here for penelope, they’re just here to be king. if telemachus didn’t stand up to them, they would probably never acknowledge him much more than “calling him small”. and the fact the fight during little wolf seems to be the first time there’s been a confrontation between them i feel like could imply that before now telemachus has just tried to ignore them too. but when antinous talks i’ll of his mother, that’s enough to push him over the edge into rebutting. despite his prior admittance that he hasn’t had any real experience in fighting, telemachus provokes someone who very well might fight him for it, for the sake of his mother. because if there is one thing that telemachus and odysseus absolutely have in common, it is their love for penelope.

in terms of my own headcanons, i think penelope did teach telemachus basic combat and self defence, as well as more artistic and practical skills! they are very close, especially with the suitors outnumbering them horribly. penelope doesn’t leave out any details about odysseus - even the less glowing ones - and it’s helped telecmhus to actually think of him as a real person.

[jennyboom21]

In 2023 actor Sophia Bush made headlines when she filed for divorce one year after a storybook wedding. By the fall it was public knowledge that she was in a new relationship. With a woman. The internet seemed to be foaming at the digital mouth for a scandal, but to those who knew her, it was clear she’d never been more herself. Here, in her own words, Bush speaks to the power of finally learning to listen to her intuition.

In April of 2022 I was close to calling off my wedding. Instead of running away, I doubled down on being a model wife. In 2023 my now ex-husband posted a lovely tribute to our first anniversary on Instagram. When I saw it, I felt the blood drain from my face. Fans and friends were telling me how exciting this milestone was and how happy I looked. I felt nothing. Things hadn’t been easy at home, but everyone says marriage is hard, right? As the day wore on, I felt mounting pressure from strangers online waiting for me to post something—what a strange part of public life to have to navigate—so I sat myself down and chose a picture.

It was a black-and-white photograph of us running away from the camera. Yes, I see the bittersweet irony now. I wrote a really nice story about the people in that picture. Except it was just that: a story. I typed something about how incredibly happy I was and tried to drown out the familiar voice in my head. Make it look easy. Make it look perfect. If your smile is shiny enough, maybe no one will notice that up close all of your teeth are broken. But sometimes broken is just broken.

I hit post. And then I walked into the bathroom and threw up.

I believe in people and ideas so deeply—and those feelings are often so powerful to me—that I hadn’t realized I’d spent the last two decades moving through life showing up for others but often turning my back on myself. This time things felt different. Maybe it’s just cold feet, I told myself. Maybe I was too sensitive. Maybe this was the feeling you get when you settle down later in life and have to make space for another person. There have been moments in my life when it feels like the universe is screaming at me to pay attention. This was one of them, but I didn’t listen.

I kept repeating the adages we all know so well: Relationships are hard. Marriage takes compromise. You know the rest. And so I got married. We threw one of the greatest wedding weekends ever. We had an amazing time with our closest friends and family. It was truly one of the best parties I’ve ever been to, and we raised a ton of money for charity. I don’t regret any of that.

But after the wedding I found myself in the depths and heartbreak of the fertility process, which was the most clarifying experience of my life. It feels like society is finally making space for brutally honest conversations about how hard and painful any fertility journey is, but I kept mine private. I was trying to get through months of endless ultrasounds, hormone shots, so many blood draws that I have scar tissue in my veins, and retrieval after retrieval, while simultaneously realizing the person I had chosen to be my partner didn’t necessarily speak the same emotional language I did.

As I lost track of how many examination tables I had lain on alone, I felt something in me seismically shift. Six months into that journey, I think I knew deep down that I absolutely had made a mistake. It would take my head and heart a while longer to understand what my bones already knew.

And that’s why, when I got an opportunity to do a play in London, I had to go. I had to get out of our house. I had to get onstage. I had to get back in my body. Maybe that could shift things. Maybe that would jump-start the joy I’d been chasing. The play slowly began to put me back together. It was grueling, and it was also the most exhilarating experience. I loved every second of it.

But the book doesn’t lie. The body does, in fact, keep the score. When half of our company went down with a virus, everyone recovered fast except for me. I continued to decline. I would put every fiber of my being into my performance onstage, and then be packed in bags of ice as soon as the curtain closed. I spent multiple nights in the hospital, I was pumped with endless amounts of fluids, I underwent cardiac testing and organ monitoring. It was clear that my body was screaming and I had to listen. It was hard for me to accept. I was part of a team. But I needed to go home, where my doctors (and, truthfully, my health insurance) could get a better handle on my symptoms. My time in London was over. So was my marriage. It all came crashing down at once.

During the summer of 2023, I moved back into my empty home in LA. I was separated and preparing to file for divorce, and groups of women in my life started opening up about issues they were going through in their own homes. It seemed like every week there were more of us, including [former US soccer player] Ashlyn [Harris], whom I’d first met in 2019 and who was in the process of figuring out her own split from her wife. She’d been such a kind ear for those of us who opened up about our problems during a shared weekend of speaking engagements at a fancy conference in Cannes, and soon it became clear that she needed our ears too.

For those of us who had no solution in sight or Hail Marys left, having this community changed everything. We really wrapped one another up in support. It was tragic and hard. But it was also beautiful. There were moments of incredible sadness because no one signs up to get married thinking it’ll end. The days when we knew people needed to laugh, we sent inspirational memes and silly TikToks. We read books written by great therapists and shared emo quotes from poets. Our “Begin Again” Amazon shopping list, which we created for the ones moving out and starting over, has now been forwarded to so many other women.

I didn’t expect to find love in this support system. I don’t know how else to say it other than: I didn’t see it until I saw it. And I think it’s very easy not to see something that’s been in front of your face for a long time when you’d never looked at it as an option and you had never been looked at as an option. What I saw was a friend with her big, happy life. And now I know she thought the same thing about me.

It really took other people in our safe support bubble pointing out to me how we’d finish each other’s sentences or be deeply affected by the same things. When you’re so in the trenches of hardship—plus you have the added weight of having to go through it on a public stage—it can be hard to see anything but what’s right in front of you.

It took me confronting a lot of things, what felt like countless sessions of therapy, and some prodding from loved ones, but eventually I asked Ashlyn to have a non-friend-group hang to talk about it.

And that meal was four and a half hours long and truly one of the most surreal experiences of my life thus far. In hindsight, maybe it all had to happen slowly and then suddenly all at once. Maybe it was all fated. Maybe it really is a version of invisible string theory. I don’t really know. But I do know that for a sparkly moment I felt like maybe the universe had been conspiring for me. And that feeling that I have in my bones is one I’ll hold on to no matter where things go from here.

But there was a lot that quickly turned ugly too. People looking in from the outside weren’t privy to just how much time it took, how many painful conversations were had. A lot of effort was made to be graceful with other people’s processing, their time and obligations, and their feelings. What felt like seconds after I started to see what was in front of me, the online rumor mill began to spit in the ugliest ways. There were blatant lies. Violent threats. There were accusations of being a home-wrecker. The ones who said I’d left my ex because I suddenly realized I wanted to be with women—my partners have known what I’m into for as long as I have (so that’s not it, y’all, sorry!).

The idea that I left my marriage based on some hysterical rendezvous—that, to be crystal-clear, never happened—rather than having taken over a year to do the most soul crushing work of my life? Rather than realizing I had to be the most vulnerable I’ve ever been, on a public stage, despite being terrified to my core? It feels brutal. Just because I didn’t want to process my realizations in real time on social media and spell them out for the world doesn’t mean the journey wasn’t long and thoughtful and exhaustive.

It’s painful to be doing deep work and have it picked apart by clueless strangers. Everyone that matters to me knows what’s true and what isn’t. But even still there’s a part of me that’s a ferocious defender, who wants to correct the record piece by piece. But my better self, with her earned patience, has to sit back and ask, What’s the fucking point? For who? For internet trolls? No, thank you. I’ll spend my precious time doing things I love instead.

I don’t believe it’s my place to discuss details of Ashlyn’s circumstances or her children, but I will say that I am absolutely in awe of her relentless integrity. The way she prioritizes and centers her kids, not only in her life but in the core of her being, is breathtaking to behold. Falling in love with her has sutured some of my own childhood wounds, and made me so much closer to my own mother. Seeing Ashlyn choose to not simply survive, but thrive, for her babies has been the most beautiful thing I’ve ever witnessed a friend do. And now I get to love her. How lucky am I?

I sort of hate the notion of having to come out in 2024. But I’m deeply aware that we are having this conversation in a year when we’re seeing the most aggressive attacks on the LGBTQIA+ community in modern history. There were more than 500 anti-LGBTQIA+ bills proposed in state legislatures in 2023, so for that reason I want to give the act of coming out the respect and honor it deserves. I’ve experienced so much safety, respect, and love in the queer community, as an ally all of my life, that, as I came into myself, I already felt it was my home. I think I’ve always known that my sexuality exists on a spectrum. Right now I think the word that best defines it is queer. I can’t say it without smiling, actually. And that feels pretty great.

Would I have liked to make the public part of this journey a choice for myself, and not have it taken from my lips and set ablaze by gossip blogs and bottom-feeder online bots? Of course. I’m very aware, though, as we discuss bullying and harassment and being outed without consent—that I’m incredibly lucky this happened in my adulthood. I really love who I am, at this age and in this moment. I’m so lucky that my parents, having spent time with Ash over the holidays, said, “Well, this finally looks right.” I know it could have gone differently.

We’ve all learned about kids who have taken their own life after being outed or who have been killed simply for being who they are in a place or time that is threatened by their expressed joy. I am so lucky to be here, now. I have real joy. It took me 41 years to get here. And while I marvel at it, I will also make space for people’s pain. But I will not carry anyone’s projected shame. When I take stock of the last few years, I can tell you that I have never operated out of more integrity in my life. I hope that’s clear enough for everyone speculating out there, while being as gentle as I possibly can be.

After the news became public, my mom told me that one of her friends called her and said, “Well, this can’t be true. I mean, your daughter isn’t gay.” My mom felt that it was obvious, from the way her friend emphasized the word, that she meant it judgmentally. And you know what my mom said? “Oh honey, I think she’s pretty gay. And she’s happy.”

I finally feel like I can breathe. I don't think I can explain how profound that is. I feel like I was wearing a weighted vest for who knows how long. I hadn’t realized how heavy it was until I finally just put it down. This might sound crazy—but I think other people in trauma recovery will get it—I am taking deep breaths again. I can feel my legs and feet. I can feel my feet in my shoes right now. It makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time.

It is so, so scary to do the brave thing, to say, “I’m just not happy.” Especially if you’re in a partnership and you have to say it first. But if you do it, you get the chance to be happy. To find your joy. I turned 41 last summer, amid all of this, and I heard the words I was saying to my best friend as they came out of my mouth. “I feel like this is my first birthday,” I told her. This year was my very first birthday.

[honeyjars-sims]

2.7 Opening Up

Lexie: It’s too bad we got assigned to set design for the first production, but at least we’ll be able to hang out together. 

Johnny: Yeah, it looks like most of the acting roles went to the juniors and seniors. Maybe next year we’ll have better luck.

Lexie: Well, the semester’s just getting started. Who knows what will happen. We could impress them with our sick acting skills and get the leads next time. 

Johnny: [laughing] I support your delusional optimism! Oh, I almost forgot…my mom wanted me to tell you hi and that she enjoyed meeting you.

Lexie: Hmm, that’s nice of her. I guess let her know I said hi as well.

Johnny: [teasingly] You’re not going to say it was nice to meet her too?

Lexie: No comment.

Johnny: I don’t blame you! Honestly, it went better than I was expecting.

Lexie: Really? That's kind of sad.

Johnny: Yeah, unfortunately, that was just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to my mom. 

Lexie: Well, it really bothered me how she was speaking about you. I kept trying to change the subject, but she’d always end up making some snarky little comment. 

Johnny: I’m used to it, I guess. The thing is, if I’d called her out she’d say I was overreacting. In the past, I would’ve believed her, but now…not so much.

Lexie: Good, because she’s wrong about you. I can’t imagine how it affected you to hear that as a child, or even now.

Johnny: [sighs] I wish I could say that was the worst thing I had to deal with as a kid, but it wasn’t by a long shot. If you don’t mind, I think I’m ready to talk to you about it.

Lexie: Of course. You can tell me anything. Let's go somewhere more private.

TW: The dialogue below includes discussion of child abuse and drug abuse (not graphic but please use your own discretion if this topic is triggering to you).

Johnny: It wasn’t just my mom who treated me badly. It was also her husband, Jimmy. I refuse to call him my stepdad because he wasn’t any kind of parent to me. He was way worse, though. With my mom it’s this kind of passive aggressive backhanded shit, but Jimmy? He was full-on aggressive. Not just with his words, either. 

Lexie: Oh my God, he hurt you? Johnny, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know it was that bad.

Johnny: Yeah, it was pretty awful. I started having nightmares and I was anxious all the time. I tried to talk to my mom about it, but I was too scared to tell her what was really going on so she thought I was just being dramatic. 

Lexie: Geez, I can’t imagine my parents just brushing me off like that. You must have been terrified.

Johnny: I was. It only got worse when my mom started doing drugs. By that time I was old enough to start fighting back and all the blame fell on me. Jimmy almost convinced mom to send me to military school but then my dads got custody of me and Chantal.

Lexie: Thank God for your dads! 

Johnny: For real, I’m so grateful for them. It’s weird, though…whenever a kid gets away from their abusive family, everyone expects them to be happy about it. No one ever talks about all the mixed emotions. I knew I was better off with my dads, but I still thought about the good times I had with my mom. It was hard to leave her.

Lexie: I think I understand more why you’re still trying to work things out with her. It sounds like the whole situation was really traumatic for you.

Johnny: Yeah, even when I wasn’t talking to her I always had this feeling of “what if?” Like maybe there is a way to fix everything and make it go away.

Lexie: Some things can’t be fixed, no matter how hard you try. I don’t know if your relationship with your mom is one of them, but I hope you’ll recognize when it’s time to let go if it comes to that.

Johnny: I think I will. I’m going to give it more time, but I’m starting to feel like…like I deserve better. I didn’t feel that way before.

Lexie: You deserve so much better, Johnny. You’re so much more than what your mom sees you as. And Jimmy. He better hope I never see him ‘cause I’ll kick him right in the balls!

Johnny: [laughing] Lexie! I’ve never heard you so angry before. I can’t see you doing something like that, you’re too sweet.

Lexie: I’d do it to him! And I’d enjoy watching him suffer. Oh, sorry, I probably shouldn’t be so violent about it. It just really got me worked up. 

Johnny: It’s ok. You’re cute when you’re protective.

Lexie: Well, consider me your bodyguard, then.

Previous | Beginning of story | Beginning of chapter | Next

[spacerockfloater]

Hey friends and foes, the following post was submitted by beloved @florencegracia , whom I’d like to thank so much for taking the time to share their views with me and our mutuals! It’s always very nice to have such polite conversations with people from TB. I think the outcome of these discussions is beneficial to everyone involved! Your perspective is very much welcome and needed here! I would like to request from everyone who wants to add to this conversation to do so kindly, with an open mind! Toxicity and hate towards OP or me will not be tolerated.

So happy finding ur page bcs im TB and everyone around me is TB too. I need another perspective from TG 😃

I dont read the book but i read wiki of ice&fire and others so my apologies if i misunderstand some.

Thanks again for your submission, you are a peach! No worries at all, this blog mainly discusses the TV show rather than the book either way. And besides, F&B can be interpreted in many different ways, no one can be absolutely right or wrong in their opinion!

1. I agree that Alicent sacrifices a lot. And it is up to her that she is with Cole after Viserys dies bcs she is a free woman now. Even if there is adultery during the marriage, i dont really care. But i still think that she is a hypocrite bcs she approached Viserys behind Rhaenyra���s back and never told Rhaenyra but she expects Rhaenyra to always tell her the truth. Yes, she was used by Otto but still she is not truthful to Rhaenyra so how she expects Rhaenyra to be truthful to her.

This is actually such an interesting take that I never dwelled much upon! Huh, now that you mention it, it does leave a bad taste that Alicent never told Rhaenyra about her interactions with Viserys. However, I do not exactly believe that these two situations are equal. Alicent was forced by her father to go and visit Viserys against her will and Viserys himself commanded her to not share their conversations with Rhaenyra (a typical thing abusers do). What’s more is that the nature of their relationship with Viserys wasn’t explicit or even romantic! She was just a girl being nice to him! Even Alicent herself was shocked when Viserys announced he intends to marry her. It was difficult for Alicent, who was lost in her misery, to tell her also miserable friend that their fathers are abusing her, especially after the king himself forbade her to do so. And Rhaenyra showed no understanding to her situation, especially since all of that happened against Alicent’s will. Rhaenyra, on the other hand, was responsible for her own actions and concealing the truth from the girl who spent years of her life trying to apologise for what happened to her and tried her best to help her, would make anyone in Alicent’s shoes feel betrayed, me thinks.

2. I understand that Cole is very disappointed with Rhaenyra for turning his proposal down and thus siding with Alicent. I was thinking that he wants to keep his honor and seek redemption by doing his duty with honor. But then he is with Alicent, which keeps me wondering. My guess is probably that they both have the same enemy and can share the same feelings. Alicent ofcourse cant hate/complaint abt Rhaenyra to Viserys so probably she pours down her frustation to Cole and then they develop feelings to each other.

I think there’s more to Criston’s hatred towards Rhaenyra than her turning down his proposal. If you rewatch the scene, as I recently did, you’d see that Rhaenyra is awfully cruel to him. She speaks at him angrily and diminishes him. She calls him not worthy enough for her and rubs salt in his wounds by flaunting how much of a perfect husband Laenor is going to be. And the ultimate blow is that she finishes by telling him “We can still fuck tho!”. That’s such a fuckboy behaviour. She doesn’t respond when Criston desperately holds her accountable for what she did to him, how much he put on the line for her. What he did with Rhaenyra is punishable by death or castration. People need to remember what happened to princess Saera’s lovers! And to top it all off, he finds out Rhaenyra’s husband’s boyfriend knows all about it and threatens his life! He switches sides and becomes loyal to Alicent because she is the only one to show him some sympathy and mercy. I think their relationship is much deeper than people make it out to be. Coming close due to trauma and common experiences is a very strong bond. I never liked the jokes about how Alicent and Cole are together solely because of their mutual hatred/ yearning/ whatever for Rhaenyra, their literal abuser (at least from their side of the story). It removes the agency from two broken, abused SA victims and it disturbs me a lot. They experience how the Targaryens mistreat one another first hand. And, in Criston’s eyes, he has already lost his honour and feels like he’ll never be able to atone for his sins, as he says in this season. It’s kinda cruel to demand that he keeps the celibacy oath he gave to the Targaryens, who literally used him for sex, if not abused him.

3. For me, Rhaenyra’s bastards are the same like Cersei’s bastards. Cersei sacrifies her life to become Robert’s queen so that she can give throne to her kids and Robert does not care who will be the next king since he is too heartbroken to care whatever happens after he dies. Same like Rhaenyra. I guess Laenor doesnt care whose children are they since he cant give any children but he needs someone to continue his name/legacy. And the fact that Rhaenys and Corlys do not question the bastardy, i think they also feel the same thing.

I think I might be able to provide some insight on this, as a book reader! Cersei specifically doesn’t really sacrifice anything to become Robert’s Queen. The position is open handedly given to her in exchange for her father financially supporting Robert. In fact, Cersei has never willingly sacrificed anything in her life. She simply refuses to do so because she grew up very spoiled and entitled. Cersei was excited to marry Robert at first, until she realised that he’ll always be in love with Lyanna. If we’re to take Cersei’s word for it, she and Robert did have a son that died young and Robert was immensely heartbroken and angry over his death. Robert very much cares about who inherits the throne after him, that’s why his dying act as a king is to make sure his son (who he thinks is his) becomes king after him. Things would be very different had he known the truth. At the same time, even if Robert, Corlys, Viserys and any other lord did not care about who inherits their titles, this doesn’t change the fact that there are still laws that protect the rightful heirs from getting robbed off of their inheritance! Imagine if your brother, who practically has no heirs of his own, was the current holder of your family’s ancestral house which he did not himself build, and instead of leaving it to you, his blood, he was okay with the house getting passed on to a person that has no connection with your family. That wouldn’t be fair to you, would it? The ruling titles of House Velaryon and House Targaryen are not personal properties of Viserys and Corlys just because they happen to be their current holders. The titles have existed long before them. Vaemond Velaryon getting passed over, especially after he shed blood and money for his house in the Stepstone’s war, was an absolute disgrace. Sure, Viserys might have been justified in a way to change the law and allow his daughter to inherit the title because that’s still his blood, even if it was unfair to Aegon and Aemond according to tradition, but Corlys and Rhaenys had absolutely no right to humiliate Vaemond like that.

4. My understanding is that in the book both Rhaenyra and Alicent want the throne and the issue is abt female vs male heir, thus Rhaenys keep supporting Rhaenyra despite whatever. But the show cant make it abt female vs male heir since it will not sell in 2024. In the show, the main reason is misunderstanding since even Rhaenyra in season 1 is shown to not really want the throne but just to honor his father’s wish. Which is very weird since in GOT, many female character blatantly said they want the iron throne or become the queen.

I see what you’re trying to say! Yup, it’s absolutely true that the show doesn’t know what they’re doing with the storyline anymore. At first Rhaenyra doesn’t want to be queen. Then she does. Then she does even more. Then she is not certain. Book!Rhaenyra was much more adamant about sitting the throne at all costs. The TV show has removed the agency of all its female characters. If you take a closer look, you’d see that all the female characters are saints that compete for the Nobel Peace Prize. Alicent, Rhaenyra, Rhaenya, Mysaria, Alys Rivers: they all care about the well being of the people first and foremost and their own aspirations come second! On the other hand, the men, Daemon, Aegon, Aemond, Jace, Criston, are quick to go to war and give no fucks about the aftermath of it! Ryan Condal, HOTD’s producer, had informed us that this show was going to be a “feminist” retelling of the Dance of the Dragons, the feminism being that all women are good and all men are bad. That’s why it has turned into such a dumpster fire.

[springbreezes-and-peonies]

Peony, has Taranza ever told you about Sectonia?

(IMPORTANT INFO: I consider most answers/asks in her ask box to be from a time after most of her main story that I’m working on is finished. So she’s sort of answering these from “the future” or at least from a point way later in my writing. It’s also important to note that in my writing I make Taranza king of Floralia as personal headcanon. With that in mind here you go! And anyone interested in her story, the first chapter is pinned to my page as it’s her character intro but I’ll probably change this pinning once I’ve written the next chapter to be a link to all chapters in order)

“Ah…yes of course. I can still remember when he did too. The day we met, I asked him about her, as I’d never met her but I knew of her from what my plants would tell me about her. I knew about how beautiful and beloved she was, especially by him, and I knew about her tragic change, but I didn’t really KNOW her. Not like that. And I knew her even less than most of our people having grown up in isolation. I asked him about her out of curiosity and wanting to know what she was like from someone who knew her very well, after all he’d been her best friend and husband.

Immediately he asked me not to talk about her if I could, as it was ‘too painful to speak about.’ I didn’t want to pry, and I’m not one to press people, so I simply nodded and agreed not to. In hindsight, and with more social experience now, I think I may have been a little impolite asking such a heavy question to someone I KNEW was her widower but at the time I really didn’t know any better…

Later that night, while he was keeping dry in my home from a storm HE asked ME if he could talk about her. I told him certainly, that I’d love to hear, now I think he must have been thinking about her all day ever since I begged the question…Well, once I told him I’d love to hear…he…Oh…He just broke down into tears. I still remember that sad face, and the noise that came from him. I’ve scarcely heard such a pained sound. He started telling me about her, how he loved her, how everything was his fault, how he missed her so much still, just…every thought he’d ever had about her came spilling out…

I just…felt such an urge to hold him, like it were a natural thing, and despite never being around people it just felt like what you should do seeing such a thing…So, I did. I hugged him and squeezed him tight and let him cry. And he did. And for awhile to. I honestly wonder if he ever really had before since her death…If something about me being someone so entirely different and removed from the situation allowed him to let it out as he needed. Of this I am not sure, and again, in hindsight I guess it could’ve been rude to just hug someone you’d never known like that, but I suppose if I’d had those ‘social graces’ about myself that other Floralians have, he may not have gotten what he needed in that moment—a shoulder to cry on.

He told me he felt much better after the fact, and I truly think he did. And we still talk about her whenever he needs to. She was such a big part of his life, it would be remiss of me to not give him a safe space to talk about her, and how the memory of her occasionally makes him feel—good or bad. I am happy for his part in her life, though I am sad for how it ended up piercing his heart. It was an important love for him, and I can tell it definitely shaped who he is today. And who he is, is wonderful to me. Gentle, sweet, compassionate, kind, affectionate, if a little stuffy. And I appreciate it all.

Anyway, sorry if that was long winded. This is a topic I think of often, as it is undeniably a part of our relationship. Thank you for your question, I wish you a good day! ✨🌸🌷”

[know-the-way]

Continued Stages of Falling Down the Miss Fisher Rabbit Hole

I’m gonna be real - I wish I could watch things in chronological order, I really do, but my ADHD brain just doesn’t work like that. So, I’ve bounced all around the different seasons and my overall thoughts are a jumbled mess. However, there are some things - in chronological order - that I just continue to go feral over the more I look at them, so I’m gonna share with the class. (P.S. Thank you so much for the warm welcome! You’re all very lovely and I just hope I don’t fuck that up by being annoying 😅… Uh… yep. Anyway, have a nice day! Lots of nonsense and a wee bit of meta below!)

- “Perhaps we could allow ourselves one candle?” “I think I could cope with that.”

Mmhm, listen here you cheeky fuckers, I see you. Whoever wrote this show learned the art of subtle symbolism and slow burn majesty, and while I am HERE for it, I also just… ya know… *pushes heads together* kiss already.

- Hearing Phryne say “I’m looking for my daughter” when she was searching for Jane in Queen of the Flowers. *clutches chest* Owwww. Her progression from “ugh, kids” to “this one’s okay, I guess” to “she is a part of me and to wrench her away would be akin to removing my very heart.” Just… yes. I will always love that dynamic. But I also appreciated Phryne emphasizing that Jane’s mum would always be her mum. I feel like there’s normally a focus on the child needing to choose between their biological or adoptive parents and it was refreshing that they allowed room for both of those relationships with Jane to exist equally.

- Maybe it’s just me, but whyyyyy does this exchange feel so domestic? There’s something about Jack just sitting there, marveling at her being in her own element, telling Hugh “of course” when he asks if Phryne knows judo (‘cause he knows her well enough to not be shocked anymore - like ‘of course she knows judo and speaks 8 languages and flies planes, it’s common sense Collins, get with the program’), and already knowing the answer to his suspicion about the “dangerous weapon.” It all just has an air of ‘gently teasing my spouse of 10 years in front of people because I know it winds them up and that’s our love language’ about it.

I’m also kind of curious how long Phryne has been practicing martial arts. Was it a ‘from childhood’ thing or a ‘from a traumatic event that made learning this skill feel necessary’ thing? If that fic hasn’t been written yet, I’d love to read one.

- “This time, you’re an accomplice. And unless you plan on killing Inspector Robinson yourself, he’ll make sure you hang.”

Again… I could so easily be reaching, but to me this comes off very much like “once my husband finds out what you’ve done to me, he will spend every waking moment ensuring your demise.” Couple that with Jack carrying her out like Prince Fucking Valiant and… yeah. #FERAL

- The fact that he wasn’t already holding her hand, but she was reaching for him… 🥺 The hurt/comfort goblin that lives in my brain: thriving. Just… fuck me up.

I still have two episodes of season 2 to finish, but so far my overall summary is that - by episode 3 - they’re together. Together, together. Don’t even care that it’s not “official,” don’t care that they don’t say it explicitly… they’re committed to each other in every way that matters, so they are bloody together. Just need them to realize that and accept it. For all our sakes.

[kitttttchaos]

Reasons Why I Understand Why KAOS Was Cancelled

Okay, time to get controversial. I hope you’re in the mood to read a lot. Obv I enjoyed watching the show, but it’s our duty to consume media critically, so here are some thoughts on maybe why it didn’t do as well as it could’ve. As always, totally open to hear anyone else’s opinions on this, these are just my thoughts and I would love to discuss. It’s also been a minute since I watched the show, so I might be a little off.

1. Imo Riddy is kind of unlikeable. This could just be me, but she felt like a stereotypical indie protagonist, and we don’t really get to know much about her other than the fact that she’s unhappy in her relationship. Why doesn’t she like being called Eurydice? What is it about Orpheus’s fame that makes her so uncomfortable? Her reluctance to leave Orpheus is less about protecting his feelings and more about not knowing who she is if she isn’t “his muse”. That’s good internal conflict, but it feels like a reach for material. Why does she feel like she’s so tied to him? Why did she marry him in the first place? If I knew this about her, I think I’d be able to understand her more, but as she stands, I don’t know anything about her inner self other than her relationship with her mother and with Orpheus. So, sadly, in Riddy’s efforts to not be defined by her husband, she still is. Which, outwardly, makes for an understandably moody but uncomfortably boring protagonist.

2. Orpheus gets more attention than the writers want you to think he deserves. Because Riddy is somewhat underdeveloped, Orpheus is more of a stand in for the audience than she is. He’s the unaware Everyman thrust into an insane turn of events (example, the scene in the car with Dionysus), and you root for him. This is great for entertainment, but it really doesn’t support the themes. Riddy is really unhappy in her marriage to Orpheus, but we’re only ever SHOWN why about two times (the scene where he says he can’t love her quietly, and when he takes her coin). The rest of the time, Riddy just tells us, but because we barely know anything about Riddy, it’s difficult to believe her. Especially when every scene with Orpheus is either him in a vulnerable situation, showing important and relatable parts of his character, or him singing the most fire song to ever grace diagetic screen. I like Orpheus, but he’s not the protagonist, and his relationship with Riddy feels like the writers just said “it’s a feminist retelling” and thought they could leave it at that. They spent so much time trying to make Orpheus morally grey that they forgot to make Riddy morally anything.

3. The mythic representation is mid. I don’t really know what Kaos is meant to be, and I’m okay to believe that it’s meant to be a flick and not a word for word retelling of Greek mythology, but since I haven’t heard anyone come out and say that, I have to point out that the show is poorly researched. It’s very clearly not autumn or winter in the show, so why is Persephone in the underworld? That’s such an easy fix. Greece is still beautiful in autumn. They could just change the time period. Why is Hera completely unfaithful, when she’s the goddess of marriage? I saw some good takes about this, and granted there are things about Hera’s representation that I like, but this just isn’t it. She wouldn’t be an object of worship if she couldn’t even hold up the most important thing she represents. Also, Orpheus’s journey to the underworld was so disappointing as a Hadestown fan. It genuinely seemed so easy for him to get there. Yes, there were several challenges along the way, but most of them didn’t have me on the edge of my seat. And I know Charon letting him go was part of the show, but it felt so lackluster. ALSO the underworld river thing was infuriating. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out why normal human beings were getting reincarnated. In the myths, most people wind up waiting in the Fields of Asphodel (which barely exist in the show) forever. And I get that this plot line was part of the show, but it was still annoying. I think KAOS does a great job of reinventing the myths, but if you want something that does this and still makes sense, watch Hadestown or read Percy Jackson.

4. There was so. Much. Freaking. Sex. Okay, this is mostly personal, since I’m really not a fan of graphic depictions of sex in television, but I understand that it’s sometimes necessary. That being said, there are plenty of shows where it fits into the plotline, and in my opinion this is not one of them. Granted, the scenes that feature Dionysus are important for his character development because we’re supposed to understand that, even though he’s the god of partying, he’s really not fulfilled by that kind of life. However, I think the sex scenes are misplaced everywhere else. We’re shown one between Nax and Theseus because we’re supposed to see how in love they are, but they’re in one episode and they die right after. They seem in love already, and obviously it’s horrible to see them unjustly hung. But was the sec necessary?? Poseidon and Hera’s scenes—literally WHY are they a couple? I know gods are weird, and this goes back to my earlier thing about Hera, but I saw a great take that said Poseidon and Hera could unite over their hatred for Zeus without being “in love”. This is also a really regressive depiction of “love”, imo, because they only connect over sex and not liking Zeus. Like, please. And Prometheus and Charon is the most out of nowhere combination, but it’s also just not very meaningful, because we know nothing about Charon and not much about Prometheus. I think this is also a regressive depiction of sex, because if it’s everywhere all the time, why does it matter? Again, most of this is personal, but I don’t think the sex scenes deepened the characters much at all the way they do in other shows, so why are they included in this one?

5. The plot is not well-written. Crucial pieces of information are revealed at the very end of the show. The reason why Charon lets Orpheus into the underworld is because SURPRISE, Prometheus told him to, and I bet you never thought Prometheus would’ve been in love with Charon. Well, he was. Why? Because we said so. Right now. And SURPRISE Zeus used to be human. How could Zeus have been human?? If he’s been drinking souls to stay a god since he was a human, then that means the frame has existed since he was a human, and presumably Hades was also human, so how could he have created the frame? As a matter of fact, how could the Underworld exist if Hades used to be human? How does Zeus’s relationship with his father Kronos make ANY sense if he was human? His father is a Titan, the son of the Earth and the Sky. Prometheus is the Titan that created humans, so, by show logic, Prometheus should be Zeus’s father. I could let this go if it was explicitly stated, but the show really seems to play you for a fool with this plot twist. Granted, the plot twist with Ari and Gloucus was brilliant, so I’ll give them that.

Anyway, these are just my opinions, and I really don’t hate this show. I think it did a lot of things very well. This is just a few things I think it could’ve cleaned up. Thanks for sticking around to read the whole thing <3

[ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa]

I hope this isn’t crossing a line to ask but I was reading about your sub adventures and idk maybe I’m being close minded but how exactly did you and your wife get to that point? Like she’s truly not jealous or anything? Like is that relationship going to be strictly sex or are you both open to more? Idk that whole world to me is just so foreign and I’d love to know what it’s like.

Not crossing a line at all.

This got long as fuck so putting a read more.

So, here's the thing. You have to have a rock solid relationship with your "primary," aka the partner who was there first and will continue to be first and foremost. Neither of us finds jealousy attractive, and it just isn't something that has ever played a part in our relationship because...we talk? I know that seems over simplified, but it's true. I never have to guess where I stand or what she is thinking because if I don't know, I'll ask, and vice versa.

Trust plays a HUGE role. There can't be any secrets. Period. Full stop. I literally tell Kat everything. She knows who I'm talking to because I tell her. I WANT to tell her. She's the love of my life. I could easily toss her my phone and tell her to look up something, and if she so desired, she could read every single message I've ever sent to the men I meet. She doesn't need to because she trusts me, but the option is there.

We've had people tell us, "Oh, I could never do that because I would be too jealous." And to me, that is a red flag? Jealousy implies lack of trust, and yeah, if you're gonna be jealous, then you can't do this. Plain and simple. We run into this issue a LOOOOOOT on Fet with hetero couples. Their core relationship is struggling, so instead of getting uncomfortable and digging to the root of the problem, they open their marriage, thinking that will fix everything..IN WHAT WORLD DOES THAT MAKE SENSE. idk don't ask me, man. But that has been the most consistent and frustrating part about all of this. I wind up playing marriage counselor because they will say to me what they feel they can't say to each other, and I'm like, how is this my job? I just want to be fucked/choked a little. Im not your therapist. And finding a Unicorn won't fix your marriage, Deborah/Kyle. That can't possibly fall to me. 😅

As far as that person's role in our lives, they have to bring something to the table. They have to benefit us in some way. What men on Fet seem to not understand is that if we wanted to just fuck someone, we could. But we are looking for a bit more than that. We're not saying we are looking for a husband or someone to move in, but we don't really do one night stands, especially with me looking for a full time Dom, there has to be trust and a connection.

Example: one of the most consistent men we've been talking to is very up front with the fact that he just wants to be FWB, however, he knows we are PEOPLE and he is adamant about making sure that the 'FRIENDS' is kept in the fwb equation. He will sext me and get downright filthy, but there are also times when he sends me pictures of his kid at baseball practice or his trip to the botanical gardens and always asks about my day. (He literally stopped talking about eating me out to show me the pumpkins he was growing on his family farm yesterday. 🤣 he is the definition of golden retriever)

We have always been open to the idea of polyamory and view love as it's not a piece of a pie that people take chunks out of, and then it's gone and all used up. Instead, love is always about addition, and if we were to find a third, it's just MORE LOVE. Love is not a finite resource.

I once had a guy on Fet ask me, "If you love your wife so much, then why are you looking for a third? What's missing in your relationship?" And I told him that first off, that's rude as hell, but I gave him an answer. What's missing? Nothing. Literally nothing. We could pack this shit up tomorrow and close our Fetlife accounts, and be 100% happy the way we are. It's not about something missing, it's about the fact that the two of us have more to GIVE.

At the end of the day, we look at this situation with the knowledge that we are so fucking incredibly lucky. Because no matter what happens, we have each other. Our relationship with our third could go down in flames, and yet, I'll still have the love of my life standing beside me, sleeping next to me, navigating the world. And when you have a fail safe like that, it's really easy to put yourself out there and be brutally honest. I'm able to tell the people I meet on Fet, 'Hey, this is me. Here are my flaws, here are my desires, you cool or not?' It is so efficient 😅 I'm too old to play games and know what love is and should feel like, we're a package deal and if they can't hang, then thank you for playing but next contestant.

I hope that helps a bit? The bottom line is that it's not easy because if it were, then everyone would do it.

[fumifooms]

HI. I loved your marchil fics and I love your lil blurbs and hcs and all you're lil thoughts on them it's beautiful and makes my heart melt. It's just seeing this lil guy and how he has all his feelings locked away in a box until marcille walks over and picks right through the lock and gets him to open up (well in a metaphorical sense-).

DAMN YOU FOR GETTING ME DEEPLY INVESTED IN THESE IDIOTS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH IM GETTING CUTE AGGRESSION!!!!

I KNOWW RIGHT, I love how you described it!! There’s so much fun imagery and metaphors you can do with them… They lost focus and had a consensual workplace relationship, as people say

I love their dynamic they are so romcom shaped… Speaking of romcoms I recently read Dame na watashi ni koishite kudasai/Please love me ! which has major marchil energy, I love reading it while thinking of them lmao. They banter and she infiltrates his social sphere & gets all the family gossip and also he owns a cafe and cooks her things, it’s like my coffeeshop AU but real 😭💗

People when getting into marchil:

Thank you for this ask! 🥺 It’s always really nice to hear things like these… I never know what to respond though so naturally I shall go overboard, handing out more marchil thoughts as per popular demand! Marchil nation is a tiny island I’m sorry for getting you invested, but also mwahahaha hahahA YES HAHAHA YESSS! Handing you these ramblings as apology

My motivation to write essays has been waning lately BUT I do have a big post about theories and facts on Chilchuck’s family planned, his wife and daughters plus some Chil’s dad and siblings, the whole package. On top of more marchil crumbs to post oof… Ideally I should also rework the first part of the marchil crumbs to make it more streamlined and dare I say convincing. Also fanart and fics which I hope to get around to finishing up… I def want to make more marchil content, but I honestly have no clue which idea to work on next… (I take requests and prompts btw~). I want to make more fluff but I also want to make more hurt/comfort, ahh dilemma

One idea I have that’s particularly relevant is a fic that I’d call Locks of Hair, about blonde hair and the key to his heart. I’d love touching on his attraction to blondes and how that might affect their relationship in a neat lil introspective oneshot like I like to make. LOCKS of hair? Being the KEY to his heart? I love the english language. There’s sorta this trope where if a character loves money has a liking for blondes it’s because like, the hair is "golden", and I’d find playing with that so funny too.

Another that really has my heart right now is Marcille’s mom visiting them to see her daughter and meet her new partner Chilchuck, and it throws them into a frenzy to prepare for it, Chil being entirely too stressed and dreading. And seeing them her mom’s eyes soften and she tells them they remind her of her and her late husband… The bittersweet pride mixed with anticipation at how her daughter has grown into someone who can accept loss, and is willing to throw all of herself into loving despite them not even having 20 years together ahead of them……. I think about marchil proposals and marriage a lot. Hey hey did you know that in Japan "I want to drink your miso soup every day" is a way to propose, because that’s so Dungeon Meshi. The way proposals are so meaningful with these two because it truly is like "i want to give my lifetime to you, knowing all that it entails, but I believe that it’s worth the trouble. That it’s worth it." I have so much proposal dialogue between them written up oogh they make me so emotional

You truly are a warrior for reading all I wrote about them omg, if you like these sorta convos then maybe you’d enjoy joining our dunmeshi discord! I rarely get the chance to speak with another marchil enthusiast~ We have a lot of big convos on characters and ships over there hehe, ofc no pressure though, invite link in comment just in case. I get cuteness agression over them TOOOOO I need them-shaped stress balls to squeeze in affection

-trips and falls and some of my favorite marchil moments slip out-Soulmates ❤️ (delusional)

[hoedamn-eron]

zorii

You come to learn that Poe wasn't just for you.

Warnings: Slight AU, but not really. Cheating/infidelity (sorry that Poe is a f*ckboy in this). Angsty. No happy ending. Mentions of drinking games. Word count: 1,096 GN!Reader. Lightly based on Diane by Cam.

Zorii,

I know it’s probably odd that I’m writing this to you, especially when you don’t know who I am. I’m a pilot on your husband’s squad. I’d admired your husband for a long time before we met; he’s an excellent pilot and was a credit to everyone around him. Including you. Believe me, I had no idea you existed, until yesterday, and I feel so awful about what I’m about to tell you.

I promise I didn't know he was your man. I would've noticed a gold wedding band, Zorii. He never claimed to be in a relationship, never mind being married. I was completely unaware of this when we started seeing each other, and I am truly sorry for any pain that I have caused you.

I’m sorry that I have to tell you this, but I'd rather you hate me than not understand. Poe approached me first, a few weeks after I joined Black Squadron. He was good looking and flirty, and I was naïve and looking through rose-tinted glasses, where the Poe Dameron was interested in me, a mere rookie pilot. He could have had anyone, but he wanted me. I was living this life in the Resistance, where I finally felt like I belonged somewhere, and Poe was so willing to help me in my journey.

I am not saying this to make excuses or to justify what I have done. I fell hard for your husband, and I want to make it clear that I never intended to hurt anyone with my relationship with him. I gave him my heart to break, now I know he broke yours first. I never imagined that I would find myself in a situation like this, being the affair partner. I was caught up in the excitement and emotions of a new relationship, and I did not take the time to ask the right questions or investigate Poe’s background.

I am not asking for your forgiveness, as I know that it will take time for you to come to terms with what’s happened. I just wanted to reach out to you and let you know the truth. I hope that in time, we can find a way to move forward and heal from this. You can blame me if it helps.

I want to let you know that I have chosen to end my relationship with your husband. I cannot continue to see someone who has lied to me, and who has caused so much pain, to me and you. I can’t believe I listened to the words that he said, promising me an incredible future and planning our life together, when he had you at home, probably worried sick whether he would be alive or not the next day. How could I be such a fool? All those nights that he's given to me, I wish that I could give them back to you.

I understand that you may have questions about us. I also understand if you do not want to see me at all, or even think about me ever again. Just know that I am so sorry. I truly, really am sorry.

You hold back tears as you place the signed off letter down on Poe’s bedside table before quickly making your way out of there before you lost your confidence. Zorii would see the letter before Poe. He was away on a mission, and you had it on good authority that Zorii was arriving at the base later that night, where she would intend to share this room, and share his bed, because she and Poe were married.

You wondered how Zorii would react to the letter. Would she be angry? Upset? Would she try to hunt you down and kill you on the spot? She doesn’t know who you are, you’d never met, unless someone tells her. Poe might tell her. Or he might deny the whole thing. You’re not sure. You thought you knew him, but obviously not. He lied to you, to her, and you had never felt so betrayed. You think back to the friends you made over the last year, some who chose not to tell you that Poe was married. You’d being seeing each other for nine months…did no-one think you deserved to know the truth? Or were they as clueless as you were?

You wanted to believe that they didn’t know, you really did.

Making your way back into your room, you continued with the packing that you had abandoned to deliver the letter. Your room just didn’t feel like your home anymore, and not because it was almost bare of your things. The memories you’d made here felt like a farce, fake, a part of a dream that your mind had made up.

You deserve better, which is why you made the decision to leave. You’d asked Leia for a transfer, and it was granted that morning. You were leaving first thing, your transport had already arrived to prepare for the journey. You were still going to work for the Resistance, just away from Poe, and the people around you. You needed a fresh start, to do some soul searching, and you couldn’t do that with Black Squadron around you.

Everything hurt. You thought you had found your people. But if this was how those on D’Qar were going to treat their teammates, then it wasn’t an environment you wanted to be in. You will ignore the ache in your chest when you thought of Snap and his bad dad jokes, of Jessika and her dramatic drinking games. You’d even miss C3PO.

You hate to admit it, but you were going to miss Poe. You were going to miss the good times you had, the dates, the late-night talks. He taught you all you knew, the intimate lessons in his X-Wing, the feeling of his hand in yours. Your breath hitches and you feel another wave of tears. Your heart felt heavy with the weight of regret, as you think about the mistakes you made and the things left unsaid. You wonder if things could have been different, if you had only been more aware, more present. Less trusting. Less foolish. Less gullible.

Not anymore. Things were changing, and you could feel it in the air. Something big was about to go down. And you won’t let a little heartbreak from your colleagues stop you from being the best you can be. You did not need anyone.

You would be okay. Far away from D’Qar, and far away from Poe Dameron.

[wafflesetc]

The only rationalization I can make of what was done to Jay last episode, for the writers, he's no longer a character, he's just an object a means to an end, a way to get the story from point A to B. It's clear that Sean is obsessed with Hailey and they're going to have him getting under her skin until, I think they get to some showdown where he kidnaps her or something along those lines. The only way they found for that to happen, for Hailey to let herself get tangled in him again, is if she's still trying to avoid her personal life and looking for distractions. The excuse that she wasn't able to contact him was too weak and wouldn't last long, so they needed to make it worst, take away her hope (and ours) of this being a temporary thing and that he'd be back soon. That way, it'll make sense when she falls to Sean's tricks, even though she knows exactly who he is. She'll be spiraling over her crumbling marriage and an 'easy prey'. I don't like it one bit, but I think is what makes more sense with what we've seen so far

There’s a lot of truth in what you’re saying. I also feel it, deeply.  I am really at a loss for what to think or feel about this whole situation for a variety of different reasons. Mostly, I know what the show is capable of and I know the foundation that they have laid for each of the characters and the relationship, and what we are seeing with the season ten storyline doesn’t mirror or respect anything we have seen in previous seasons. 

They could have had him extend his time there with a one-sided phone call, like we saw Hailey have with the Army, where he tells her he needs more time, etc. It still would equate to a painful arc for Hailey, still leave him off our screens, and whatnot. However, hearing it from her husband rather than some Army person would have made a heck of a difference in how people feel about the situation. Would I have hated the scenario? Yes, but it would have felt more like them than what we saw this week. 

I said in a previous answer that I just don’t see this as it completely finished yet. I don’t know if they even fully know where they are taking it, but I do think they have an idea. 

There’s too much happening with Sean, the fact they are choosing to put Hailey through this continually through the season, I just think there is going to be more to all of this. The question becomes will we like the pay off or not. 

I’m not here to hate on the writer’s room... But I am okay with being critical. As I said above, they have enormous potential - both in the writers room and with the cast - we’ve seen it on our screens before. What we are currently seeing has been some very good acting, but I would argue the writing hasn’t been to the level that the writer’s could be writing for us. When we’ve seen the great pay off of things (in previous seasons) and then we get these storylines (in season ten) that don’t feel like the characters they have written in previous seasons, it really makes me scratch my head.

I’d love to have Gwen do an interview with someone who knows how to ask proper, analytical questions, rather than someone who asks things just for clout. And for that - I will add, Tracy was asked a question about “when” she may or may not take off her ring. What I will say to that is that reporter isn’t one of my favorites. For a number of reasons. Also, when that question was asked was back in December, as they were filming episode 12. The cast has said multiple times that they don’t always see scripts in advance and they more or less only focus on the one episode at a time. I genuinely think Tracy doesn’t/didn’t know long term what was happening there. 

Anyways, this is probably longer than you thought it would be so I apologize. I just can’t seem to shut up about all of this.

[muling-maglalakbay]

Dear You,

Let me tell you a story.

Two years ago I ended a three year relationship over text and phone call. It’s not my finest moment, but dating long distance (he was in Davao, I was in Manila) during the heigh of the COVID-19 pandemic was….not ideal.

He’s younger than me, born in 1998. (So older than you. Eep.) Red flag #1. We differed in perspectives on religion (#2) and finances (#3). We even got into an argument about his sister’s dating life! Gosh that one was particularly annoying.

When we started seeing each other in 2018, I was just curious what it would be like to date a college-age guy. Maybe live out the college dating experience I never had. On our second date I told him he had to manage expectations, because I was casually dating, not looking for a steady relationship. But he caught feelings, so I went with it. Even tho i knew even then that I would have to eventually break up with him.

Which is why it was unexpected to him that I intiated the break up, but for me, it was nothing but a huge relief. I didn’t feel sad, i didn’t cry or wallow. It just felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I dont think that’s how break ups should feel. I honestly felt like a sociopath.

So when we went for coffee, I was chalking your invitation up to…nothing really. Just coffee among co-workers. That’s not weird. Other people in the office do it all the time.

But you asked me out for lunch. And asking someone “out” for lunch is vastly different to coffee. So I had to consider the possibility of something more than nothing. And what I would do if there was something. Here’s what I came up with:

1. Let you down gently, explaining that I don’t date guys who are younger than me because of past experiences. Also because we work together and the drama and gossip that would stir up is making me anxious just thinking about it.

2. Let this play out. A little office flirtation never hurt anyone. Maybe having work husband is something everyone needs. Maybe I could overlook your age because you’re the new kid, who’s kinda mysterious with your mullet (which you cut off) and ridiculously long frkng lashes framing your eyes.

Scenario number 2 would end badly tho because again, eventually I’d have to call it off. But we’d still have to work together and I may overthink a lot but I cant imagine an outcome where that would be comfortable for either of us.

So earlier in church (because of course I get a moment of clarity in church) I decided that Number 1 is the kind thing to do. Because making you go through Number 2 is mean and I don’t want you to think that about me. I may have been a sociopath to break up with an ex over phone call and not feel remorse over it, but doing that again is cruel.

[trying-to-get-somewhere-real]

 So Season 7 was kind of a bust and I think I only did one or two liveblogs, but @fatimagic has suggested to me that while S8 is extremely controversial, it is very liveblog-worthy, and the premiere is a must-do. I was stuck at the airport/on a plane waiting to take off for like 7 hours and my only comfort now is that I can watch WTB on this flight.

8.01, Seer of Love:

1.       Well, Angela already looks hot (yes, I know I am biased but…) so we’re off to a great start with her panicking about what to inscribe on a watch for Tony. Love how they decide whether Judith can sing or not depending on what the plot demands lol.

2.       SHE CALLED THIS THEIR SEVENTH ANNIVERSARY

3.       If I had a nickel for every time someone assumed he was her husband I’d have a thousand nickels, which is a lot actually.

4.       “Put It’s Time I Said I Love You [as the inscription]” ajslkjadfdj Could it be real guys??? I don’t want to get my hopes up too much here but maybe something is finally gonna happen.

5.       Not a fan of Tony’s haircut!

6.       Angela thinking this is too forward GIRL…it has been 7 years it is TIME!!

7.       Oh no he got her wool seat covers rip…and now she’s afraid to give him his gift. Ugh...babygirl.

8.       He said he’s taking her to a carnival instead of the romantic dinner she was expecting and I think it raises some interesting questions...the fact that neither of them have been willing to be direct means that making the wrong decisions is gonna happen. Like I'm pissed at him but part of me is not surprised. For Angela to develop these expectations without ever verbalizing them is kind of an issue!h

9.       Oh noooooooo he invited Sam and her random guy friend also, double rip. Crap and also Jonathan! Cause Tony says it’s everyone’s anniversary (so also Mona). [Some context for the uninitiated: Angela said she really likes him in the Season 7 finale and kisses him but they obviously didn’t have a real discussion about changing their relationship and they needed to!]

10.   Thank god Billy went back with his grandmother!

11.   Fortune teller knowing what the watch inscription was and telling Tony...cut to Angela angrily handing him the box and stomping off when he tells her the fortune teller was weird and went on about kissing the woman he loves before midnight or he risks losing her forever.

12.   Tony, now knowing what he knows, still saying this is moving a little fast for him I’M GONNA BEAT YOU UPSIDE THE HEAD BESTIE!

13.   Sam: “Dad, she told you she loves you. So now the only thing that really matters is do you feel the same?” Tony: “Well uh, yeah.” Sam: “Then why can’t you just tell her?” Tony: “Because I’m afraid to Samantha. This is the most important friendship of my lifetime. If we take the next step and it doesn’t work out, I could end up losing everything.” Sam: “I think you’re running that risk now Dad.”

14.   WOW I’m psyhic see #8 – she actually acknowledges that she let her expectations get out of hand (but to be honest at this point I don’t care…I am pissed at him. I do what I want!)

15.   Angela: “So this is an insurance kiss?” Tony: “Yes…no no. That’s not what I mean. This has nothing to do with her stupid predictions. It’s just that, I mean, if there’s one chance in a million that I could lose you I don’t want to take it.” Angela: “Why?” Tony: *yelling* “CAUSE I LOVE YOU” okaaaaaaaaaaaaay we are finally getting this show on the road…just gonna scrape myself off the floor now.

16.   Angela: “You would ruin our friendship for love?” Tony: “In a second.”