#also all the people being like 'bruce is important to the superman story!!!' like. bitch what about Diana. Where's Wonder Woman ur posts huh

[nofacednerd]

I know everyone is giving their two cents on batman appearing in mawsm right now, but honestly I think it would be funny if, like, in season 2 (definitely not season 1 I think that should focus entirely on the main trio before introducing other dc characters like kara and such) I think that I would want One (1) World’s Finest episode except batman doesn’t even show up, it’s just Bruce Wayne showing up consistently in the B plot while the Daily Planet Intern Gang are running around getting into shenanigans. I want it to be implied that he’s Batman, and maybe Jimmy throws out a conspiracy theory that he is Batman, but everyone shoots it down because Jimmy’s theories are only somewhat right like 10% of the time anyway.

[demifiendrsa]

DC Studios | Chapter 1: Gods and Monsters

Chapter 1: Gods and Monsters:

Creature Commandos: An animated seven episode series, written by Gunn, that is already in production. Originally a team of classic monsters assembled to fight Nazis, this is a modern take on the concept. The voice actors have yet to be cast but the executives are looking to find people who can voice the animated characters and also portray the live-action versions when the anti-heroes to show up in movies and shows.

Waller: A spin-off of Gunn’s own HBO Max hit series, Peacemaker, Viola Davis will return as the ruthless and morally ambiguous head of a government task force. It is being written by Christal Henry (Watchmen) and Jeremy Carver, the creator of the Doom Patrol TV series.

Superman: Legacy: The movie featuring the Man of Steel that Gunn is writing and may direct, although no commitments on that end have been made. While the two previous titles are meant to be “aperatifs,” in Safran’s words, Superman is the true kick off for the duo’s DCU plans. “It’s not an origin story,” Safran said. “It focuses on Superman balancing his Kryptonian heritage with his human upbringing. He is the embodiment of truth justice and the American way. He is kindness in a world that thinks that kindness as old-fashioned.” A release date of July 11, 2025 has been penciled in.

Lanterns: Greg Berlanti’s long-in-the-works Green Lanterns TV series has been scrapped and the duo have parted ways with the longtime DC series steward. In its place will be a new take on the space cops with power rings. “Our vision for this is very much in the vein of True Detective,” Safran described. “It’s terrestrial-based.” It will feature prominent Lantern heroes Hal Jordan and John Stewart and is one of the most important shows they have in development. “This plays a really big role in leading into the main story we are telling across film and TV.”

The Authority: a movie based on a team of superheroes with rather extreme methods of protecting the planet that first originated in the late 1990s under an influential imprint known as Wildstorm, run by artist and now head of DC publishing, Jim Lee. “One of the things of the DCU is that it’s not just a story of heroes and villains,” said Gunn. “Not every film and TV show is going to be about good guy vs. bad guy, giant things from the sky comes and good guy wins. There are white hats, black hats and grey hats.” Added Safran: “They are kinda like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men. They know that you want them on the wall. Or at least they believe that.”

Paradise Lost: The duo describe this HBO Max series as a Game of Thrones-style drama set on the all-female island that is Wonder Woman’s birthplace, Themyscira, filled with political intrigue and scheming between power players. It takes place before the events of the Wonder Woman films.

The Brave and the Bold: “This is the introduction of the DCU Batman,” said Gunn. “Of Bruce Wayne and also introduces our favorite Robin, Damian Wayne, who is a little son of a bitch.” The movie will take inspiration from the now-classic Batman run written by Grant Morrison that introduced Batman to a son he never knew existed: a murderous tween raised by assassins. “It’s a very strange father-and-son story.”

And, importantly, it will feature a Batman not played by Robert Pattinson…

Booster Gold: an HBO Max series based on a unique and lower-tiered hero created in 1986. Safran said of the series, “It’s about a loser from the future who uses basic future technology to come back to today and pretend to be a superhero.” Gunn described it as “imposter syndrome as superhero.”

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow: Taking its cues from the recent Tom King-written mini-series, this movie project promises to have a different take than what most think of when the idea of Superman’s cousin comes to mind. “We will see the difference between Superman, who was sent to Earth and raised by loving parents from the time he was an infant, versus Supergirl, raised on a rock, a chip off of Krypton, and who watched everyone around her die and be killed in terrible ways for the first 14 years of her life and then come to Earth. She is much more hardcore and not the Supergirl we’re used to.”

Swamp Thing: a horror film that promises to close out the first part of the first chapter.

[flowerflamestars]

Hey! So I went to check your bookmarks and alas you have none, but what are the chances you would still have Jason Todd fic/author recommendations? Assuming I've read none. Or just any favorite Batman fics?

I'm getting a little overwhelmed with all the different fandom tags and timelines 😅

🤍

So, as someone who is also relatively new-ish to the Batman fandom but binged A LOT of content early on, my best advice is going to be to find your own vibe.

I've been on tumblr since 2012 and wandered through a ton of fandoms- and yet? Batman has bowled me over with it's sheer....in fighting? (This is obviously not like. Voltron-level stuff. Do yall remember tumblr when Voltron was raging?) People are SO SURE their thing is The Correct Thing. Despite the fact that there are a near endless amount of canon permutations. SO MUCH ship discourse, babe.

So, of course, I have many recs, mostly from ships people get mad about.

A good Jason character intro: Give Thanks to Broken Bones by thepartyresponsible. a VERY GOOD Jason, but one the other hand, technically an Avengers fic. Highly readable, maybe doesn't 100% land the ending, but an extremely good mix of the two worlds.

My favorite Bruce Wayne: Masking by BombusBombus. As much a loving meditation on neurodivergence as it is a a love story, Superbat at their most husbands. (teen baby Jason running around, being lied to by Bruce about why his dad is just. staring at pictures of Superman's hands.)

Smut: make me (say your name) by Naheka. Dick/Jason, character study wrapped around smut that is just. SO in character. Not wildly explicit, but earning the rating.

Fluff (not vigilantes au): no ordinary by SPQR. Dick/Jason. They're teenagers at boarding school and it so SO perfectly captures that hazy late teen longing AND Jason's bone deep direness about all kinds of love. I'd read 8x more words of this.

Further fluff: a blue curtain is a damn blue curtain by heartslogos. I have no idea if Jason canonically knows the language of flowers, but it pops up a surprising amount? And frankly, feels right. Short, sweet, disaster vibes. Heartslogos has literal hundreds of fics, I haven't shifted through them all, but it seems like a good mix of gen and romance.

Bats being messy as all hell: Strings Attached by FabulaRasa. I love love love what a (justified) bitch Jason is in this one. Primarily a Bruce Wayne/Hal Jordan story, but the background Jason/Dick absolutely got me. Everyone's an adult and everyones being characteristically fucked up. Trigger warning for some messy internalized homophobia stuff being worked through. A lot of stuff about Bruce and Jason just...loving and hating each other.

Casefic that works as a romance with fun Adult elements: do you wanna feel a little beautiful, baby by sister. A rare gem in terms of everyone found familying about while not acting like that's a restrictive container. Jason/Tim. Plot important booty shorts. Easily the most realistic/best Stephanie Brown I've come across. Obsessed with the little snaps of Jason's vulnerability we get in this one.

I'm definitely forgetting or leaving out some fun ones, but this is a start! Happy reading :)

[comicweek]

Before audiences get to those films and series, however, there is a matter of this year’s crop movies, starting with Shazam! Fury of the Gods, coming March 17, and continuing with The Flash (June 16), Blue Beetle (Aug. 18), and Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom (Dec. 25).

The duo are high on the quartet, made by the previous film regime and under the aegis of DC Films, run by former head Walter Hamada. Gunn calls The Flash, directed by Andy Muschietti, “probably one of the greatest superhero movies ever made.”

He also said the four leads of those films could potentially continue playing their leading roles in DCU projects down the line. “There is nothing that prohibits that from happening,” said Gunn.

DCU

Creature Commandos: An animated seven episode series, written by Gunn, that is already in production. Originally a team of classic monsters assembled to fight Nazis, this is a modern take on the concept. The voice actors have yet to be cast but the executives are looking to find people who can voice the animated characters and also portray the live-action versions when the anti-heroes to show up in movies and shows.

Waller: A spin-off of Gunn’s own HBO Max hit series, Peacemaker, Viola Davis will return as the ruthless and morally ambiguous head of a government task force. It is being written by Christal Henry (Watchmen) and Jeremy Carver, the creator of the Doom Patrol TV series.

Superman: Legacy: The movie featuring the Man of Steel that Gunn is writing and may direct, although no commitments on that end have been made. While the two previous titles are meant to be “aperatifs,” in Safran’s words, Superman is the true kick off for the duo’s DCU plans. “It’s not an origin story,” Safran said. “It focuses on Superman balancing his Kryptonian heritage with his human upbringing. He is the embodiment of truth justice and the American way. He is kindness in a world that thinks that kindness as old-fashioned.” A release date of July 11, 2025 has been penciled in.

Lanterns: Greg Berlanti’s long-in-the-works Green Lanterns TV series has been scrapped and the duo have parted ways with the longtime DC series steward. In its place will be a new take on the space cops with power rings. “Our vision for this is very much in the vein of True Detective,” Safran described. “It’s terrestrial-based.” It will feature prominent Lantern heroes Hal Jordan and John Stewart and is one of the most important shows they have in development. “This plays a really big role in leading into the main story we are telling across film and TV.”

The Authority: a movie based on a team of superheroes with rather extreme methods of protecting the planet that first originated in the late 1990s under an influential imprint known as Wildstorm, run by artist and now head of DC publishing, Jim Lee. “One of the things of the DCU is that it’s not just a story of heroes and villains,” said Gunn. “Not every film and TV show is going to be about good guy vs. bad guy, giant things from the sky comes and good guy wins. There are white hats, black hats and grey hats.” Added Safran: “They are kinda like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men. They know that you want them on the wall. Or at least they believe that.”

Paradise Lost: The duo describe this HBO Max series as a Game of Thrones-style drama set on the all-female island that is Wonder Woman’s birthplace, Themyscira, filled with political intrigue and scheming between power players. It takes place before the events of the Wonder Woman films.

The Brave and the Bold: “This is the introduction of the DCU Batman,” said Gunn. “Of Bruce Wayne and also introduces our favorite Robin, Damian Wayne, who is a little son of a bitch.” The movie will take inspiration from the now-classic Batman run written by Grant Morrison that introduced Batman to a son he never knew existed: a murderous tween raised by assassins. “It’s a very strange father-and-son story.”

Booster Gold: an HBO Max series based on a unique and lower-tiered hero created in 1986. Safran said of the series, “It’s about a loser from the future who uses basic future technology to come back to today and pretend to be a superhero.” Gunn described it as “imposter syndrome as superhero.”

Supergirl: Woman of Tomorrow: Taking its cues from the recent Tom King-written mini-series, this movie project promises to have a different take than what most think of when the idea of Superman’s cousin comes to mind. “We will see the difference between Superman, who was sent to Earth and raised by loving parents from the time he was an infant, versus Supergirl, raised on a rock, a chip off of Krypton, and who watched everyone around her die and be killed in terrible ways for the first 14 years of her life and then come to Earth. She is much more hardcore and not the Supergirl we’re used to.”

Elseworlds

The Batman sequel: Pattinson will continue to portray the Dark Knight in at least one more crime saga movie directed by Matt Reeves. That movie, the executives revealed, will be released Oct. 3, 2025 and is being titled The Batman Part II.

[jmoriarty-221b]

So I saw somewhere a post that talked about how some fictional characters just have a divorce vibe going on, like, at no point in time were they ever married but they just give off that feeling that they got divorced

And now I can only think of Clark Kent and Lex Luthor having that vibe

And I spent close to an hour talking about this to my sibling and how it would be a good idea for a new DC show like, you can make so much money off of just the main Batfam alone and there are literally so many people in there that it’s just an amazing idea to have them all in a show together but kind of like a Good Luck Charlie kinda thing because there’s more than enough angst in the world

But in the case of not having enough of a budget for so many characters in one show I turned to the Superfam (Batfam is Huge like, I don’t even know half of the extended family version and that’s like at least ten characters so I could see why it wouldn’t be entirely feasible to have a show that included everyone while still being good with nice character development without having a billion dollars for the budget)

The Superfam, in my personal experience, is composed of Ma & Pa Kent (farm vibes plus I refuse to have either of them die in my AU), Clark Kent (main Superman), Lois Lane (Lana? was Smallville Lois i guess??? But idk enough about her so she’s not here), Jon Kent (Superboi II), Kara Danvers (Supergirl) & Conner Kent (Superboi I)

Now I’ve stopped watching CW shows like, forever ago??? But my brother kinda keeps up with them and basically the gist is that the ratings of every other show suck Except for the Superman & Lois show (because it’s 💫new💫) and I saw the cover of the poster like “Ah, the werewolf dude. . . mmmhhmmm that’s Lois yes, yes that’s Johnny boi, and um is that???? Nooooo, they wouldn’t do that to Conner right???? Please tell me they didn’t make Conner blonde” and I was informed that the blonde teen is Chris???? Like

Whoms’t do ye speak of

I’m not even joking but the only way I even know of Chris is from a random fanfic I read where Dick Grayson gets his own super from an alternate reality named Chris, that’s my only point of reference for this character

But let’s talk about how Conner Kent (OG Superboi) was excluded

Now I haven’t seen any episodes of this and I probably never will (no hate I’m just really unmotivated to start new shows at all) so idk if they might mention Conner or even allude to him in one scene or something

But this was my main motivator as to my new Superfam TV Show Idea

Have Lex Luthor not be a Superman villain, he’s mainly a successful businessman, a little shady but who isn’t, and he doesn’t want to Kill Superman, he just wants to be able to have some sort of viable protection against a Kryptonian in case of an invasion (see Man of Steel + CW’s Supergirl) or suddenly having a mind controlled Superman on their hands (see Justice League series or just look up what Red Krytonite does) so he makes it like his side thing to figure out ways to neutralize or hold back a Kryptonian, Clark totally thinks that Lex is obsessed with finding a way to kill Superman because they had a bad end to their friendship in high school so he’s always suspicious of Lex, Lex hasn’t really ever tried to kill him though because 1. It’s not that deep Clark ok? And 2. He’s a busy busy man with a very important job position and a company to run so does he look like he has time to harbor an obsession over someone who rejected him back in high school??? You’re more of a constant side quest Clark, so stop trying to put him on the JL watchlist ( btw ik about Lena Luthor, haven’t forgotten her but she doesn’t really play a part in this AU so let’s just have her and Kara off to the side doing their own thing ok? Ok)

Lex, Bruce & Oliver all knew each other when they were kids and went to the same school, this is just an extra detail I wanted to happen because Lex and Ollie definitely know Bruce is Batman and absolutely HATE having to deal with Brucie Wayne because “I know you’re just doing this to irritate me Bruce, you just want to see if you can make a vein throb in my forehead but I will valiantly ignore your dumbassery because I know you hate being Brucie just as much as we hate having to put up with Brucie so suck on that you petty bitch” because they bonded in ye olden days, childhood friends so to speak

Anyway so Cadmus tries to get Lex to make an investment in their company, seeing as Cadmus is shadier than Gotham when it rains Lex is basically like ‘no ❤️’ and doesn’t make a deal with them, Cadmus gets mad at not having Lexcorp financially backing them so Lex has an ‘accident’ and they steal his DNA, then they steal Superman’s DNA somehow and *boom* a Superboi is formed

Because I don’t know much about how the Core Four became friends in the first place (Robin Tim Drake, Impulse Bart Allen, Wonder Girl Cassie Sandsmark & Superboy Conner Kent) I’m just gonna go with what happens in the show Young Justice except it’s the Core Four becoming the Core Four when they liberated Conner (who at this point believes himself to be a clone of Superman and has only been given Superboy as a name) from Cadmus, same shit goes down meaning that Clark is just straight up NOT vibing with Conner, Conner just wants a mentor please, and the Bats kinda give Clark a passive aggressive treatment for not taking Superboy under his wing or at least agreeing to teach him how to control his powers, especially Tim because that’s his Bestie so yes

Anyway, YJ saves ppl and is on the news or whatever and Lex finds out about Superboy’s existence that way, so he researches this new super on his free time, finds out that he came from Cadmus and claims to be a clone of Superman, yet doesn’t have the whole power set Superman has??? Wait, didn’t Lex reject Cadmus’ proposal and the got into a mysterious accident??? Long story short Lex goes connecting the dots, hacks into Cadmus’ files, finds out he technically has a son with Superman and decides to take Superboy under his wing (I’ll go more in depth as to why Lex would want to do this in this AU later but the abridged version would be that he wants a kid but doesn’t have the time nor interest in finding a wife??? Also the radiation that made him bald as a kid also affected his reproductive system so while it’s not impossible for him to conceive kids he would have a very hard time actually getting to father a kid)

Him and Conner, who still goes by Superboy at this point in time, meet up and Conner finds out that here is a parent figure that is both available and actively wants to be a part of his life, so he agrees to get to know Lex and the series would focus on them becoming a family, with a special episode when Conner asks Lex for help in choosing a name for himself and it ends up with him agreeing to become Conner Luthor, it would be heartwarming and Mercy would make sure it happens within a day (Mercy is Lex’s bodyguard/PA but they’re also besties and she becomes the Responsible yet Chaotic Aunt as Lex and Conner’s father-son relationship progresses)

Obviously Clark becomes super suspicious of Lex getting close to his ‘clone’ and when Conner decides to go public as Lex’s son he’s like *GASP* and calls up Bruce because we need to get on this Bruce, Lex is a villain and blah blah blah but Bruce would be over Clark’s shit and hit him with that “actually, Lex was also an unwilling genetic donor to Superboy, who actually is not your clone either, and has agreed to take him in, I’ve been on this shit since they first met and the kid is doing just fine so if you keep poking your nose in their business then that’s your problem but you better be ready to pay child support bitch . . . have a good day ❤️”

The series would just focus on Conner getting to have a good parent figure in Lex and go more into their civilian lives rather than focusing on the superhero thing, Conner, Bart, Tim & Cassie have a sleepover at Lex’s house at one point, Lex totally Knows what’s up but it’s all good because these are his baby’s friends and they’re good people who are more than willing to prank Superman for rejecting his kid and giving his baby self worth issues (Mercy supports them)

Anyway, that’s basically the idea for a new Superhero Show

[zitkaplushie]

nightwing secret files liveblog:

this is gonna be a long one so it’s under a cut!

taking wing-

is that jason??

i like this 'a christmas carol' type exposition i'm ngl

i'm not sure if 'jason''s dismissal of the circus is dixon using an unreliable narrator, or if dixon actually believes that

god i hate this art so much

how dare u insult the teen titans in any way 😤 i like the name

also titans cameo!!

more awful jason characterisation (pls dixon just stay 8732894738 feet away from jason)

"without robin i have no family" i guess the titans are just chopped liver huh

"i always thought that one day i'd be batman" nope nope nope nope you have 0 understanding of dick's character if that's what you think mr dixon

i love clark having a part in dick becoming nightwing - i adore it - but the way dixon retcons the importance of the titans, and especially kory, in dick becoming nightwing rubs me the complete wrong way. i'm choosing to read this as a between the scenes moment, but i 100% dixon intended this to replace the titans' importance. and the way ppl just swallow it up w/o thinking about the reasons behind why dixon would want to erase the titans - and kory - pisses me off lmao

"i didn't mean to stay so long [with the titans]" *eternal screaming* he really wants to undermine the titans at every possible turn wow

at least the next page acknowledges the importance of kory in dick's life, but right afterwards we have "lmao she must've liked your costume. all the girls did. you're a chick magnet" (paraphrased) and i'm just back to sighing

also hi i'm mad at the framing of babs being the endgame bc of course they'd do that. and also at kory being shorter than dick. thanks! i hate it! i'm willing to bet that dixon asked for that specifically.

"this is where i came in" i'm confused at this part but tbh i don't care enough to think abt it any more

i'm also ughhhh at the way they're trying to give bludhaven importance. i don't care, i don't like it, he should've never moved there

ok i do really like that last page

the fact files things are good enough, i love the art for the haly's circus one! the pt barnum ref is 😬 though (ik ik it's the 90s but fjskdh why)

lost pages: teen titans-

ok so, i don't like devin grayson. i don't like her writing at all, i don't think she gets the characters at all, and hot take: if you dislike a character who's super important part of dick's life, and helped him come into his own and be who he is, you shouldn't be writing that character. (i'm talking about kory here, but tbh if you dislike any of the characters who dick interacts with frequently and are a huge part of his life - especially his love interests, and his family - you shouldn't be writing dick.) so i'm not going into this story with high hopes. however i've seen ppl talk about this story as being really good so i hope i'll like it too

you can tell she mostly cares about the fab five, which wouldn't be a problem if she treated the ntt characters better but alas ://

kory and vic both say 1 thing the entire page lmao

ALSO KORY NOT KNOWING WHAT DAY IT IS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE

i loooove the parallel between dick grasping wally's hand and young!dick holding his dad's hand 🥺🥺🥺🥺

vic legit says one thing the entire story lmaoooooooo 🙃🙃🙃

i love garth and roy being brought to the tower 🥺

this is def some of grayson's better work, but it suffers from the same thing all of her stories do. she doesn't fully understand all the characters. if one character is off it affects the whole story. a lot of her stories have good ideas and poor execution, and this one definitely doesn't have awful execution but there's still something missing and as someone who loves the titans it's just sad. i get why people like this story - it made me tear up at the end ngl - but the rest of the titans are just as important as dick and it feels like the writer doesn't understand that. (i get this is a dick comic but it's still a titans story.) (it does however make me want to write a fic expanding upon this moment and the aftermath bc the idea of the titans all coming together to cheer dick up is so goooooood. are they gonna have a party celebrating dick's parent's lives? are they gonna eat junk food and watch a comfort movie? are they gonna just sit and talk?? the possibilities are endless!!)

the art is gorgeous as all of jimenez' art is, i love his style so freaking much!!

the next page is of the bludhaven supporting cast and all it does is remind me how much i do not care abt them. i think the only one i actually like is clancy, the others are expendable and forgettable. (i do love clancy a lot though, i wish she'd been written by more people than just dixon). though, i usually love guice's art, i think i actually prefer mcdaniel's take on clancy??? which is 100% a first for me.

i like seeing the set up to dick's apartment, bc i'm a sucker for layouts and maps. i wish this comic was way better written bc the concept of dick living in an apartment building and interacting with his neighbours is one i really like, esp in superhero comics. but again i have to say, alas.

a day in the life of nite-wing/hangin'-with tad:

painful... just painful...

i physically couldn't care less about this if you paid me

the next page is tad's file and i am Not Reading That. nope nope nope. and also fuck you.

next is a map of bludhaven, and like i said, i'm a sucker for maps.

the page after that is brutale's file and again i just do not care. the art is by damion scott who i really like, but the design looks like knock off scarecrow so

the next pages are files for double dare, lady vidc, shrike and blockbuster and i'm skipping them all bc i give negative fucks

next is a spread of what i assume is dick's cork-board? it looks kinda interesting but the writing is hard to make out and i don't care enough to try to decipher it

next is torque's files and same same, idc idc

nightwing's romances/orange you glad i didn't say banana?:

ok so y'all know i hate dickbabs. i hate everything about how it was built on the foundation of tearing down kory and dickkory and i'm a kory fan first and foremost so i hate this whole situation. so i'm already predisposed to disliking anything that talks about how babs is dick's true love, and talks down any of his other love interests. i come into this with an admitted bias. i'd try to be charitable but i don't see why i should when no one involved in the writing of dickbabs is charitable towards my faves so 🤷

i love love love stelfreeze's art! he's drawn babs in something else i read and i loved it then and i love it here!

i adore dick and babs' friendship, so the beginning is really sweet and cute. i also love the concept of baby!dickie being obsessed with watermelons and wanting to eat them forever

dewey decimal system!!! librarian babs reference!! fdjkh she's such a nerd i love it

babs trying to talk about romance and dick's like 'lol nah what abt fighting' lmao

i Do Not like babs hitting dick while talking abt 'i was segueing into talking about romance, hint hint'

this is romance? dick giving exactly 0 fucks?

why are these writers obsessed with hinting at dick and donna??? like first dixon and now grayson??? please stop!!!! i do love how he says he loves her bc 🥺🥺🥺 i love them

ur not being slick having babs call donna 'donna' and kory 'starfire', i see you grayson. i see ur hate for kory.

and reducing kory to just her body, and dick's sexual attraction to her boils my blood

i'm choosing to interpret babs's face in that panel as her being attracted to kory too

i do like that dick talks about being in love with kory, and thinking about still being with her. a) i'll take those crumbs, and b) thats how i see dick's relationship to love as being (though devin views him as kinda flighty and unfaithful so idk how we're agreeing on this lmao)

pls stop talking shit abt huntress devin, ur the one who made dick/hel a thing

since devin loves her brudick subtext, i'm side-eyeing the mention of bruce there

also why are we hinting at cass pls stop

babs being jealous and petty pls stop

the ending was smooth i have to admit it. if it was any other ship i'd probs love it but as it is, i'm tired of everyone else being downplayed in favour of the ~babs is dick's true loooooveee, it's always been herrrrr, from the beginningggggg~

i don't mind babs being dick's first crush though, in fact that's my hc for him because hello?? who wouldn't have a crush on babs??

thank you mr stelfreeze for accurately portraying babs' bitchface bc she's being a petty bitch here (and i love her but lmaooo i hate this whole thing)

next is the files on the bludhaven pd and i do not caaaare

then there's a timeline, but i don't care about any timeline that dixon writes. i'm petty though so i'm gonna read it and talk abt why i don't like the retcons.

i hate the dickbabs reference in YEAR FUCKING 3 jfc. pls stop with the retcons.

also lmao the difference between the way dick's canon relationship from that time is described in the shittiest way possible (though reluctant at first, dick begins a long and tumultuous romance with teammate starfire.) and how he wrote dick and babs' relationship (robin first teams with ... barbara in her guise as batgirl. the two will pair time and again over the course of their careers and develop a burgeoning affection for one another) this was at a time when they weren't even remotely interested in each other!!! there was no affections there dixon! no matter how much you wish it to be true!! and again the contrast with 'starfire' and 'barbara'! like it's dehumanising and i hate it.

and he can't even bother to get the new teen titans' team name right.

no mention of kory's importance in dick becoming nightwing, nope we ignore that bc it's thanks to superman now.

stepping away from the way he hates kory to talk about the way he hates jason! jason's described as a 'troubled orphan' and a 'juvenile delinquent'.

no mentions of how jason and dick bonded but as soon as tim gets introduced he talks about how dick and tim 'switfly bond as brothers'.

another incredibly impersonal description of dick and kory's relationship (the wedding of dick grayson and kory anders (aka starfire) is aborted by the rogue titan raven. dick and kory soon part company and dissolve their relationship.) but at least he calls her kory this time.

also i love how he speeds up through all the 'non important' development for dick but spends a whole page talking about all the bullshit he's been writing for nightwing. i understand why, but it's just lmaooooo 🙃 when you read it like that, it really shows how shitty this comic is.

talks of the 'doomed relationship' between dick and hel and i really hate it pls stop

the last page is dick's evaluation by the police academy and i do not care so i'm skipping it too.

[maidenvault]

tag game

Rules: tag 9 people you’d like to know better/annoy a little with silly games lol.

Thanks for tagging me @cosetteferaud :)

Top 4 ships: 

Kotetsu Kaburagi and Barnaby Brooks Jr. (Tiger & Bunny). I can’t say enough how special it makes T&B as an anime that it actually has a protagonist in his late-thirties or so when most anime is aimed at kids or young adults, and I think Kotetsu’s age and the fact that he’s a father and widower who’s already lived a lot makes K/B so much better and unique as a love story when it’s otherwise a pretty cliche ship dynamic. One reason I love writing fic about them is that stories about older bisexuals are so rare and it feels like less-tread territory in small ways like that.

T&B was made to be a dark but ultimately very optimistic show and its core relationship very much reflects this. Kotetsu loved Tomoe since they were kids and she was the person he never thought wouldn’t be there for him forever, and when he’s pretty lost at the start of the show he clearly thinks the best times of his life (and career) are already over. But his new partner gradually gets under his skin and becomes one of the most important people in the world to him, and it means a real life with real human connection sneaks up on him through his professional life when he’s not used to those things anymore and totally not expecting it. T&B is so good at portraying the terrible blows and baggage that one has to deal with in adulthood while also showing you shouldn’t give up.

(Also, TBH Prince Laurent has nothing on Barnaby in the “lovable blond bitch I want to protect forever” department and they both just need all the love and happiness they’ve been without for so long.)

Sansa Stark and Sandor Clegane (A Song of Ice and Fire). Whether it’ll eventually become romantic or not, this relationship is a huge part of what makes ASoIaF secretly not nihilistic. It could demonstrate that the relationship between those who rule and those who serve can work for the good of both, and the potential importance of it has been foreshadowed literally since Sansa’s first viewpoint chapter (”An animal takes after its master”/”Get her a dog, she’ll be happier for it”) and particularly later with Sandor repeatedly being described kneeling before her. There’s really a sense that the gods brought them together so he could be her most loyal retainer someday without Lady to protect her, and so he could serve someone who will treat him like an actual human being and won’t ask anything dishonorable of him.

This ship is basically a female power fantasy about a monster being destroyed by a little girl because she is stronger than him in spirit. Not by actively trying to change him but just by being who she is, Sansa flies in the face of his worldview and his entire rationale for being the way he is and is a big catalyst in his identity as the Hound starting to fall apart. At the same time, Sansa’s innocence surely reminds him of parts of himself he’s lost and her understanding of where his darkness and anger comes from is a major part of her maturation. I love that he tries to convince her of all these harsh truths he sees as absolute while really validating her own convictions with his actions, proving there are things to believe in and people who care about more than just protecting themselves (since Ned died Sandor is the only person who’s acted to help her with nothing to gain from it and at great risk to himself). Sansa wants to be loved by someone who doesn’t just want her because of her claim and though the Sandor we’ve known so far isn’t really capable of loving anyone, I think he’s fundamentally an unselfish person and will leave the Quiet Isle a very changed man who can truly be the answer to all her wishes. Their connection is one of the most well-developed and thematically significant elements in a book series that’s so important to me it kind of feels like it’s been in my life forever.

Sherlock Holmes and John Watson (ACD Canon, mostly). Maybe an outlier among the kind of things I typically ship in that it’s a pretty conflict-free relationship as I see/prefer it (fuck Moffat’s toxic portrayal of male friendship forever!). At least besides existing in the constraints of the world that killed Oscar Wilde, I mean. In Doyle’s stories these two truly are good for each other, there’s a balance of impulse and stability they have only with each other. This is like a comfort-food ship for me that's always pleasant to go back to because the original canon is old af and unchanging and brings me no troubled feelings lol.

Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne (DC). This is definitely the silliest thing I unironically ship, in theory it should be so fucking boring, but I’ll always be weak for shit like all the moments in the Dark Knight Returns movie that show that even though their relationship has turned bitter and Superman’s basically a villain in this pre-dystopian future, he could never bring himself to do Bruce any real harm and will always take the chance for them to stay out of each other’s way. Let’s face it, sometimes all it takes is them calling each other by their real names and I’m like shnfdslafdklsknfjs. Both of them being very experienced and formidable veterans in the superhero gig, I think Bruce and Clark are both used to having to be the leader or protector and it always kind of feels like a big deal to see them able to work together as equals, question each other, and even show some doubts or weakness with each other. They’re such great foils for each other that each is a much more appealing character to me when together than they are in isolation.

Last song: I think it was my favorite song, “Waterloo Sunset” by the Kinks.

Last movie: Joe Versus the Volcano. It’s great!

Reading: Margaret Atwood’s The Penelopiad.

Craving: Some of the chocolate cake I made.

Tagging anyone who wants to do this!

[storypraxis]

The CW BATWOMAN Should Have Been BATGIRL (CASSANDRA CAIN)

After seeing the godawful and generic Batwoman trailer for yet another CW show my first thought was to make it an actual Batman show. Much like how Supergirl should have just been about Superman.

But since female superheroes seem to be trendy if not on demand, here’s some ways to make an actual good Batwoman show. First off, actually give us a cool character

Kate Kane as Batwoman in the comics was always just all right to me. There wasn’t really anything that made her special to me. She was related to Bruce and on the show she even has Wayne’s Batcave!

Stealing Bruce’s identity and costumes to make herself into Batwoman is so disrespectful. Not only does the show betray Batman with a premise that Bruce would abandon his crusade against crime, but they don’t even make Kate apologetic about what she’s done. She hates when men take credit for a woman’s work.

Bitch, you’re taking credit for Bruce’s work using the stuff you’ve stolen from him!

The Mean Girls-esque villain the trailer, even if she’s just in the Pilot episode isn’t working at all, either. A hero is only as good as his/her villain. Just think if they had shown us Mr. Bones. He doesn’t even have to be a villain but an intriguing antagonist/occasional ally to the hero.

Mr. Bones would be a better antagonist visually alone when compared to what we got in the trailer.

Batwoman’s bright red hair in the end also illustrated another problem in a Batman type character; the bright colors don’t really work for the realistic approach. I’ve had this problem when it comes to all the Robin characters as well even if their costumes do thematically showcase how they keep Batman in line, trying to keep him from losing himself in the dark. But realistically though, it doesn’t really work. Not with Batman and his scare tactics.

The trailer clearly shows us the show is taking a realistic approach. At least as far as visuals are concerned. The actual show will probably have totally implausible stories and character behavior far removed from our world. So the red hair, while faithful to the comic version, doesn’t really work in this setting. It would have to be more fantastical, more gothic and stylized for Batwoman to pull off that look.

The New 52 Batwoman in comparison had a beautiful, distinct style of its own.

The people behind the show and the trailer were also very into showing us that Batwoman is a lesbian. I think showrunner Greg Berlanti even took pride in the fact their show would feature the first ever lesbian superhero put onscreen. I have zero problems with this. Too bad they seemed to focus more on identity politics than giving us a good looking tease on what the story and characters will be like.

I mention this because while representation is not important to me, clearly it is for Berlanti and The CW. At least, that’s what they are banking on. My suggestion would be to for a much better character.

Namely, Cassandra Cain.

Her costume looks even better in the comics. Especially with the cowl.

Trained at an early age by Bronze Tiger and Merlyn among others. She became an assassin who was kept away from human speech, making her practically a mute in some stories.

Based on those few lines alone, she is a much more engaging character compared to the Batwoman we saw in the trailer. I know it’s pointless to talk about what if’s, but I’m trying to paint a picture of what could have been. That way you can put into perspective of just how awful the Batwoman trailer is and how it could have been great.

Even if that means replacing the main character with someone else entirely.

Imagine a Bat-like character who didn’t speak a word. We only see her character through her actions, her movements, body language. Through the reactions of others. Perhaps the story of Batwoman/girl could have been the main character trying to find her humanity again.

The only way she can do it as an assassin, is take up the mantle of Batgirl and follow in Batman’s footsteps. Learning his way of not killing, learning to speak. Perhaps even trying to find Batman himself who has inspired her so much. While being her own character, without stealing his costumes or having an ineffectual butler who in the trailer can’t even keep a tiny woman out of Bruce’s Cave.

While it’s only a trailer, imagine those scenes between Kate and her father if it was actually Cassandra and her dad David - the man who raised her as an assassin. Too bad the show is on The CW, a network full of soap operas with a superhero skin over them. Even Arrow at its best was full of it and it stunk.

Future storylines on the show or entire seasons on the show could be about Cassandra’s mother, Lady Shiva terrorizing the city. Our hero going up against the deadliest assassin in the DC Universe? Sign me up!

But instead we’re treated to something generic looking and sounding. Coming from the man whose writing was partly responsible for the generic and lackluster Green Lantern. Greg Berlanti’s Arrow faired better, but that’s because he stole a lot from Christopher Nolan’s Batman movies. Entire scenes in the first season were lifted straight from Batman Begins. Just compare the dinner parties scenes.

I haven’t watched Supergirl (created by Berlanti), but based on reviews and clips, I’d say that’s totally unwatchable garbage.

I’d say there would be crossover potential with Supergirl and Batwoman/girl, but I think they’d just mess that up, too.

[ellana-ravenwood]

The day they almost lost you - Batfam x Batsis (reader)

This is the PERFECT exemple of a request I received only a few days ago and will write before others I have received months ago purely because it inspires me a lot <3. Sorry if you send a requests like, six months ago and I still haven’t written it...Again, I really work on things that inspires me the most so it totally depends on the day and mood...Like for example right now, I miss my little 3 years old nephew and I could definitely write a story with a toddler in it ! So here we go, hope you guys will like it :  

You can find my masterlist here : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

-Remember that time you lost me in the biggest mall in Gotham ?

-Oh my God (Y/N), how many times are you gonna remind that to us ?! Besides, you weren’t even two, you don’t actually remember it yourself...

You smile as you look at your older brother, Damian, mumbling something else you didn’t understand but that looked a lot like “and we found you anyway so...”, and shake your head.

You had heard that story a billion times, and you never really got tired of it.

Your brothers were suppose to keep an eye on you while your father was busy, and they had lost you in one of the busiest place in the entire city...Oh yes, how could you be tired of that ?

Whenever your four older brothers would annoy you, or be overprotective (which, not very surprisingly, happened a lot), like right now, as they were bitching about your boyfriend, Conner (Superman’s clone, and also your brother Tim’s best friend...needless to say, when your family heard you were dating him, they were a bit taken aback, arguing he was too old for you but...technically, you were actually a bit older than him, as when he was “born”, you were already four months old, and besides, you did whatever the Hell you wanted anyway), you would re-tell them the story as you heard it so many times (from Alfred mainly), and they’d instantly leave you alone, still feeling guilty about the all ordeal.

Sometimes though, you felt that maybe, it was that episode that made them so damn overprotective of you...Damian was right, you weren’t even two years old when everything happened, and you didn’t remember a thing but, even so, you still knew it was a big deal.

Because that day...Well, that day, you almost died.

************

Years earlier, the day of your birth :

Bruce Wayne’s life was already quite complicated.

Four boys (three of them being in their teenaged years, a goddamn nightmare), his Batman activities, Wayne Inc and...Selina Kyle.

Oh Selina Kyle.

She never made his life easier, even though he’ve almost always been in love with her...Whenever she was around, he could be sure that he would be in for quite a ride. And he loved it.

But nothing, NOTHING, prepared him for something THAT complicated.

Nothing could have prepared him for the hurricane that was about to hit his life...You. Or rather, a very pregnant Selina bursting into Wayne Manor, screaming that she was about to give birth to his daughter.

It wasn’t really unusual, that Bruce wouldn’t see the Catwoman for months. Once, they even didn’t see each other for over five years...So when she disappeared about nine months ago, he didn’t really pay much attention to it, expecting her to come back one day and turn his life upside down again...And oh he was right.  

And this is the night everything began, this is the night everything became VERY complicated. The night Selina Kyle bursted into Wayne Manor, about to give birth to a baby, stating that it was Bruce’s (and though it would have had torn his heart away that you weren’t his, he still got a paternity test to make sure and...There were 99.99% chances that you were his daughter).

She left you there, saying that she “thought she could do it, but actually just couldn’t...”, even though she didn’t actually try and...Well, the Wayne family gained a new child. A little girl that was born without a single cry, her eyes already trying to open and see everything, already too damn curious...

And though his life became ten times more complicated, Bruce Wayne wouldn’t have it any other way. This time, he was extremely happy that Selina Kyle came in to complicate the hell out of his life, because this time, she brought you...

(Y/N) Wayne. His precious little girl.

And oh you were such a sweet baby, that it didn’t took long for the entire family to adore you beyond all measure (your father can never stop smiling when he recalls the times Damian would hold you in his arm, and refuse to give you to ANYONE because he was too afraid they’d hurt you in anyway...it wasn’t that funny though, when he ran after him in the entire Manor, because Damian refused to give you to him so he could give you a bath and put you to bed, arguing that you didn’t like water and that it would make you cry...He wasn’t wrong though, as a baby, you absolutely hated to take your bath, crying your lungs out whenever your dad would softly and delicately lay you in the water, and Damian just couldn’t handle your cries...Damn that boy).

When you reached about four years old, your mother came back in your life, this time to stay but...That was another story. For now, you were recalling that time your brothers lost you in a mall, and you almost died.

************

Four months before your second birthday :

It was going to be easy peasy. After all, you were such a nice and well behaved child, that...Really, what could happen ?

You were the sweetest kid they ever met, and they weren’t saying that just because you were their adorable precious little sister, oh no, you were actually exceptionally cute and calm...You had just one big flaw.

Already at that age, you were just too damn curious. And that day, as they thought everything would be a piece of cake, your curiosity was going to be the cause of a lot of troubles...

But for now, you were in Dick’s arms, in Wayne Manor’s lobby, giggling as he was throwing you into the air and catching you last minute.

-Dick, stop that please. You know I ha...OH MY GOD DON’T DROP HER ! ...Uh. Every time.

Dick’s (and the rest of your brothers’ really) laugh answers your dad’s worried comment. Yes. The eldest of the Wayne boys knew damn well how his father hated when he threw you into the air like that. Which is exactly why he did it.

Besides, you absolutely loved it ! And when you’d run to him (still a bit unsure in your footing as you were pretty new to this all walking thing) and point at the ceiling, with a huge smile plastered on your face...how could he resist you ?

You make a little displeased noise as your dad gets you back from your brother’s arms (why did the flying stopped ?!), but as soon as you realize you’re in your dada’s arms ? Oh everything is fine again, and you burst out in laughter for seemingly no reasons, grabbing his clean shaved face in your tiny hands.

Bruce feels like he’s melting as you caress his cheeks thoughtfully and say, pretty sure of yourself : “dada”. He turns towards his sons and...He can’t do it. He can’t leave you in their care. He knows it’s stupid, they already took care of you but...never for a full day !

He suddenly regrets giving Alfred this full day off while he had that many meetings. And he can’t do it. He just can’t leave you...It’s the first time his boys will have such a responsibility (well, you know, if we ignore the fact that they saved the World a bunch of times and all).

-Ok I’m not sure this is a good idea, maybe I can just bring her with me and...

-Dad, you know you can’t. Just relax, she’ll be fine with us ! We’ll take her to the park and we’ll have fun. Right (Y/N) ?

You turn your head as you hear your name, and smile at the one who spoke, Jason (or “Heyson” like you called him), one of the person you love the most in the World and though you didn’t even hear what he said, you just move your little body excitedly. They all take that as a “yes, let’s go to the park and have fun”, while really, you were just happy to see your brother (even though you saw him but fifteen seconds before).

-See, she agrees. Come on dad, let her go a little bit, it’s not healthy for you to not be able to let go like that you know...

Bruce narrows his eyes at his son, and the smirk on Jason’s face is enough to know that all of them, right now, are just messing with him. But...

That damn boy has a point.

Because the life you’re doomed to live, even though he’ll try to shield you the best he can from any harm and darkness, well, the life you’re doomed to live won’t be easy. And there’s a high chance that one day, he won’t be there to help you (he was hoping with all his might that it just meant he would be busy, and not...dead, because he knew the pain of loosing a parent, and thinking about you and your brothers living through this (again for Dick, Jason and Tim...) broke his heart).

One day, he’d have to let you go, and if he couldn’t even leave you with some of the people he trusted the most, his sons...Then none of you would go anywhere. It wasn’t such a big deal really. It was just a day of taking care of you. Slowly, he took you away from his chest (you had laid your head on it, ready to fall asleep, as usually, when your dada was holding you like that it meant nap time, and, well, you could always go for a nap really ! But he was taking you away, which meant...nap later then, ok !), his arms un-tightening from around you, and he gave you to Tim, who was the closest.

Bruce could’ve sworn that you nodded in agreement, as if you were totally fine to change from your dada’s arms to your loving brother’s (and you were), and it reassured him a bit.

Yes. He could trust his boys. They would take good care of you while Alfred took a well deserved day off, and he would sort important things at Wayne inc. Yes. Yes he could trust his boys.

Besides, you were such an easy kid, really, what’s the worst that could happen ?

************

-Oh my God...Where is (Y/N) ?

It started out so well.

Your father finally left.

He looked approximatively three hundred times behind him as he was leaving the house, to check if you were still OK...Every time, his gaze was greeted by his sons rolling their eyes at him, and you, still in Tim’s arms, waving at him excitedly saying “i i Dada” which definitely meant “Bye Bye dad”, in your cute baby voice.

But he finally left. And your brothers were getting you ready so you could go out. And oh yes you were such a nice kid.

Jason put your cute little dark blue frock coat on you, and you let him do it without moving much, even raising your arms to help him, smiling to any of your brothers whenever your eyes met theirs.

You sat on the couch, calm and definitely well behaved, as Dick and Damian put your favorite shoes (a tiny pair of red Doc Marteens) on your feet, lifting your legs one by one to make their task easier, and pushing your little feet in the shoes instead of letting your brothers struggle with it for ages (putting shoes on a toddler that didn't understand he/she had to help by pushing their feet in the shoe was a nightmare... fortunately for them you understood that a little while ago. Oh and when you didn’t want to go out you would make it so difficult for anyone to put your shoes on ! Great that today you did want to go out ! You were an easy and nice kid, but oh man when you didn’t want to do something, it was rather difficult to force you without you not putting a fight...Definitely your father’s daughter).

You patted lovingly your brothers’ heads as they were putting your shoes on, and they felt like they were melting...Jason and Tim, who were looking at the scene, retained the “aaaawww” they wanted to let out (they had a tough guy reputation to maintain !), but when you turned your head to them, and smiled candidly, they couldn’t help but felt a surge of : “I have to protect that little one at all cost”...It happened a lot really, when you were around, that they’d get very suspicious of anyone they didn’t really know approaching you. Probably, your father’s paranoia about your safety (though it wasn’t really paranoia, your life would never be easy with a dad like that...) definitely infected your brothers too !

Yes. Things started pretty good. It was ten thirty in the morning when they left, with you all suited up for the mild cold outside.

They secured you in your Batman car seat (through the years, a “Batman” brand was developed, to your father’s great displeasure, and of course without his consent. And when Alfred went, one day, with you, getting a new car seat that was adapted to your size...Well according to the butler you wouldn’t keep your eyes off of the Batman one, and would cry whenever he would pick another one up, so he decided to buy it. Bruce was pretty sure that it wasn’t what happened...though whenever you saw something Batman related, you beamed and hugged it against your heart, which was quite interesting really. You were way too young to even understand the fact that your dad could be the Batman, so...yeah, it was interesting).

You spend almost two hours at the park without any remarkable incident. You fell off the slide, face first, but when your four brothers ran to check on you...you were already up and about on your feet and climbing the stairs back to go on the slide again.

You picked up a few chestnut that fell on the floor, and stuffed all of them in your brother’s pockets...They let you do it, with a small smile on their faces.

Damian gave you a piggy back ride around the park, running as fast as he could, and your laughter resonated in the entire place.

They decided to leave because it was lunch time, and also because they could spot a few damn paparazzi starting to gather around, and they’d be damn if they’d let them take any pictures of their little one !

There weren’t a lot of public pictures of you, because your dad, Alfred or your brothers would always make sure to shield you...The only pictures in papers, were usually official ones. You’d been elected “cutest baby of the year” last year, and would probably win again this year. No one could resist your cuteness, and you were a Wayne so...

************

Tim wanted burgers, Damian wanted falafels, Jason wanted pizza, and Dick had absolutely no idea what he wanted to eat, looking dumbly at his brothers as they were all arguing about what they should eat...In the end, they settled for a fast food place that made burgers, veggie burgers for Damian, pizzas, and...Oh Dick could definitely go for some hot wings !

They ordered a child menu for you, and you ate calmly your fries and chicken nugget, playing with your toy (it was a little doll...that you turned into a Godzilla like monster, apparently imagining it destriying the city).

Your brothers almost lost it when you took two fries, a big and a small one, and said : “Aman obi’ !” which meant “Batman and Robin” (they were fluent in your baby talk), and fought the Godzi-doll with it ! They fought a bit about which Robin you were talking about, and as soon as that, lunch was over.

And this is when it happened.

They were thinking about what to do next, pondering going back home for hot cocoa and a movie, or to the park again because you just loved that place. You were holding Dick and Jason’s hands when you saw it...

A balloon.

A balloon shaped like a bat, that was slowly flying around the very busy mall.

And oh you had to grab it. You took a quick look to your brothers and...They’d know where you were, they surely noticed that awesome balloon too !

Dick thought Jason was holding you, Jason thought Dick was holding you, and as they were talking together, you slipped from their grasp discreetly and went after that damn cool bat shaped balloon !

It took them about ten seconds to realize you were gone...Tim noticed first.

-Where is (Y/N) ?

Panic mode was instantly activated.

Dick looked at Jason’s hand, Jason looked at Dick’s hand and...Oh their mistake suddenly jumped in their face, and if they had time to feel guilty, they would have collapsed right there and then for having lost you !

But for now, they had to find you ! Besides, it wasn’t only their fault, Damian and Tim weren’t paying attention either. As their older brothers were talking about what to do next, the two young Wayne boys were looking at the trailer of a movie they really were waiting for, being played on one of the big mall screen, and so didn’t pay attention at you at all...they felt equally as guilty.

But for now, no time for guilt.

************

In the meanwhile, you were still chasing that cool balloon, running around people. You lost track of the balloon for a minute, because everyone was so damn big, and...where were your brothers ? You suddenly wanted to cry...Oh never mind, here was the bat balloon ! And it was going up, up and away ! It was going towards the escalator ! You had to catch it and quick !

************

Damian climbed Dick’s shoulder to get higher and try to spot you through the thick crowd (it was a Saturday in one of the busiest mall in Gotham after all) and...He did. There you were. And oh my god they had to hurry !

Somehow, you had grabbed onto an escalator’s railing...from the outside of the escalator ! And you were being dragged up by it, while no one noticed a fucking toddler...OH MY GOD YOU WERE GOING TO FALL !!

They ran as fast as they could, as they could slowly see your fingers slip from the moving railing, and hear your tiny voice scream...Why was no one doing anything ? They pushed people roughly out of their ways and...Pfiou. Someone finally noticed you.

A man. In this fifties. Who took you in his arms and disappeared at the top of the escalator ! They could see a small gathering happening up there, and they were about to rush to the elevator when...A security guard stop them.

-No running in the mall !

He was clearly one of those guys,that take his job too seriously and steal kids’ skateboard when they hang out with them around “his” mall. He stopped your two older brothers, but in the process fell over on the floor because they hit him while they were running full speed.

-How dare you you damn brat ! You just assaulted an officer ! You can...Where are you going ? STOP THEM !

They couldn’t really blame the men who tried to stop them, they probably thought they were teenagers stealing or something...but their sister was alone up there, with strangers, and God knew what was happening to her !

They couldn’t be delicate. They had to get rid of this security guard and of those people that stopped them and grabbed them thinking they were thieves...in a matter of seconds, they were out of their grasp, and a few unconscious men laid on the floor.

The security guard ran the goddamn alarm...But they couldn’t care, they jumped on the escalator’s railing and ran up, as if nothing.

You weren’t there. The stranger that got you wasn’t there. They looked around frantically, scared to death...Did they just lost their precious little one in this huge mall, or was it just a nightmare ? Oh please God, please, make it so that was just a nightmare...

But it wasn’t.

It’s Jason, who spotted the stranger that saved you from falling down of the elevator, down to your death (they didn’t realized this yet, too panicked, but later, when they’d think about how you almost fell...that height...You would have probably died...no, they couldn’t never think seriously about this, and just hug you tighter).

They ran to the stranger and Jason got a hold of him. The man, in his sixties, looked like Santa Claus, and had such nice features that...Was it possible that he hurt you ?

-Where the fuck is she ?!

Dick forced his brother to let go of the man, but, his eyes full of a cold determination, he turned toward the man and asked :

-The little girl you saved on the escalator, where is she ?

-The little...With her dad, she’s with her dad !

-Her...dad ?

-Yes ! Yes ! I swear ! Don’t hurt me ! I helped her, she giggled, damn cute kid if you ask me, and then that guy came and said he was her father !

-Her fath...Bruce Wayne ? Was it Bruce Wayne ?!

-Bruce Wayne ? No, no of course it wasn’t goddamn Bruce Wayne ! A man like that would never leave his toddler run free in the mall !

-And you just gave her to him ?!

-Well she didn’t cry when he took her hand and he seemed genuinely worried so..;why would I...I mean...She...It wasn’t her father ?

-Are you sure it wasn’t Bruce Wayne ? Maybe you didn’t recognize him !

-It definitely wasn’t Bruce Wayne ! I think I would have had recognize him instantly if it was ! I swear ! I’m sorry ! I just...I was shook because I just saved that kid, I didn’t think that...She didn’t cry when she took his hand and...

Of course you didn’t cry, you were such a well behaved kid. You probably thought that this dude was going to get you back to your brothers. You were still too young to understand the danger of strangers...

Oh. Oh. The reality of what was happening slowly downed on them.

Kidnapped. That’s what just happened.

Because if it wasn’t their father who took you (and how could it be him?), then who...Their heart dropped, as they let go of the poor man who saved your life, and turned around, looking frantically everywhere, calling for you.

At some point they got stopped by tons of security guards and they couldn’t possibly fight them all without compromising their secret identity and...You were nowhere to be seen.

They started to explain themselves...

************

Bruce Wayne’s heart felt heavy and empty. He wanted to throw up. He wanted to punch something. He wanted to cry.

When he received a call from a very panicked and sobbing Dick, he instantly knew they weren’t trying to pull a cruel prank on him.

No. He knew it was serious. His business partner never saw him leave a meeting that fast. He didn’t even take time to tell them he had a family emergency, he just ran out and jumped in his car.

And now, he was feeling awful. Hell, “awful” wasn’t even covering it. He was feeling...What if he just had lost you forever ? What if you were gone, just like that ? Oh he knew he shouldn’t have had let his sons take care of you...but a voice in his mind kept telling him that those things happen. That it wasn’t his boys’ fault. That they were probably a complete mess too right now...

And yet he was still angry. He trusted them. What the hell happened ?!

But when he arrived at the police station, and he saw them...he couldn’t possibly be mad. They looked so sad and beat down. They looked...Hurt.

They just had lost their precious little sister. And betrayed their father’s trust. And he couldn’t be mad at them...Those things happen. And you were a curious kid, a second of inattention was enough, it all it took.

Damian was crying, as Dick was holding him close to himself. Jason had his hand in his hand, and Tim kept pacing in the room, unable to stand still. When they saw their father arriving, they stopped and looked at him worriedly.

It’s like they were expecting him to yell at them, to punch them, to tell them to get out...But Bruce knew better.

What good would it do to be mad at his sons ? What happened happened, it was too late to change it...and he needed them now, to find you back.

They didn’t utter a word. Everything went through their eyes. He wasn’t angry. Just scared to death. And only together would they be able to find you.

************

What if they lost you ? What if the man who kidnapped you was a serial killer ? What if he...did things to you ? What if...Bruce wasn’t sure he would be able to hold his promise to not kill anyone, if such a case would happen.

What if they lost you ?

Damian couldn’t even think about it without crying. You entered his life less than two years ago, and though at first he hated the fact that you were a “true” Wayne too...he could never really hate you. As soon as he saw you, you became a huge part of his World and...Thinking about you not being here made him cry. Like a baby.

Dick hated himself. Why didn’t he pay more attention ? Why did he let go off your hand ?! If something would happen to you, he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He just couldn’t imagine...He couldn’t imagine a life without you, your giggles down Wayne Manor, your smile that brightened up their dark Worlds and always cheered them up...If only...if only he had hold onto your hand !

Jason wasn’t in any better shape, and though his father squeezed his shoulder lovingly, signifying to him that it wasn’t his fault...he just couldn’t take out of his head that if he had tightened his grip on your hand you would still be here ! He just couldn’t...What was going to happen, if you died ? The Wayne family would forever be changed, for the worst. They would all turn into empty beings who would roam the nights of Gotham...Oh and Gotham ? If Bruce Wayne’s precious and cute as Hell little girl would be murdered ? Gotham would never be the same either. Because you were already a symbol. A symbol of hope and good news. A symbol that the city would change for the better.

Tim had a ball stuck in his throat, unable to utter a word or anything. He wanted to cry too, just like Damian, but he just couldn’t. He wanted to scream his despair, but he couldn’t. He wanted to...He just couldn’t do anything. Not without you.

Your father would rather die than going on without you. He knew it. If you disappeared from his life that night ? He would die. Maybe not literally, but inside ? There would be no more “Bruce” or “Batman”. Just an empty shell of a man, turned into a robot without feelings because of the loss of his daughter.

************

Relief.

It’s an odd sensation really. It happens all of a sudden, and you never really expect it. You worry about something for hours on end, and all of a sudden...Pop. Relief.

Your family was going crazy as the minutes went by and the police kept them inside the station for questioning ! They already said everything they knew ! They just wanted to leave and look for themselves, they’d be more efficient than the police they knew it...

An officer came in the room they were all in, and, his face locked in a cold mask, whispered something into his colleague’s ear.

What did it mean ? What ? Did they found you ? Why weren’t they talking ? What the Hell was happening ?! Were you ok ?! Or...not ?

The officer gestured for them to follow him and...They went to Jim Gordon’s office and...relief.

Relief suddenly washed over them as they heard your laugh bursting from the other side of the door.

Your father is the first one who entered, almost tearing the door out of its place because he opened it so violently.

You turned to the source of the noise and...oh !

-Dadaaaaa !

You say, running to him. He falls to his knees and catches you in his arms, tighten his grip around you, his face buried in your tiny neck.

Jim Gordon lets your father and brothers hug you, he lets them kiss you, and smile and laugh of that particular feeling that is relief.

And then he explains.

The video surveillance showed the stranger dragging you out of the mall, but when you realized you were leaving, you started screaming for your brothers, and attracted attention to you. You started to cry and kick the man and...he panicked. As more people were gathering around, he panicked and left you there.

An old lady took you, and after that brought you to the precinct of the mall’s district (which is why it took them a while before actually getting you to the main police headquarters). You apparently didn’t argue, or scream, feeling that this lady was a nice one maybe ? You already had your father’s gut feelings.

The man was identified as a sex offender on the run, who was accused of multiple account of rape and other ugly things and...God only knew what he wanted to do to you.

But it didn’t happen. For once in his life, Bruce Wayne got lucky.

As simple as that. You were safe. Right here. Completely unaware of the danger you were actually in. You knew something was kind of up, but you were too young to fully realize what.

What mattered to you, is that dada was here. Ick was too (Dick). And Heyson. And MianMian (Damian). And Mothy ! (Tim). So things were alright. And even though you thought it was annoying, you let your dad rub his cheek on yours, you let him cover you with kisses...because you feel like something happened, but you don’t quite know what.

-My baby...you’re ok...you’re ok...

He keeps saying, and yes. Yes your ok. And why was dada crying ? You wiped his tears away from his cheeks and hugged him even more...but you also went to your brothers. Because they looked so sad...You didn’t like when they looked sad !

You let your brothers hold you close, even though you want to keep playing with detective Gordon ! You let them shower you with kisses and such and...OH NO ! YOU FORGOT THE BALLOON !!

************

Of course, that’s not the story they actually told you.

Oh no. Though you actually knew the real version, that’s not the one Alfred, or your dad would tell you as a bed time story. Nope. The truth was too scary, too close from home...They almost lost you that day. In the most terrible way.

And so they told you a much funnier one, with you running away to follow a balloon and getting into tons of magical adventures...You’d usually refer to this one, because though you liked to tease them, you knew some topics were just too...delicate.

They all wanted so much to forget about this day, that they kinda all accepted that absurd magical story as the truth, laughed about the fact that you “almost died” (but you couldn’t die, you were protected by magic !), and slowly repressed the memories of that day you actually almost died.

Bruce hated thinking about it, and it always made him want to hug you close from his heart, and not let go for hours (as you grew older, it would sometimes get awkward, like...”please dad, I have to go to school...”).

Your brothers hated it too, but also, it was the only way you had for them to lay off your back ! After all, you were a hero too, you saved the World too ! You were about to actually be part of the League too ! You proved thousands of times you could handle yourself ! And yet they still saw that little toddler running around, and almost leaving them for good...They just couldn’t help but protect you. It was cute. But oh sometimes so annoying.

So when they were getting too annoying, too much...you’d mention that time they lost you in the mall. And though they’d think about the fake story they invented, to protect their mind, the truth would always linger around and...sure, they’d leave you alone because they were still feeling pretty guilty. But they could never always leave you. No. They had to protect you.

They had to hold onto your hand, to pay attention to you...Because they realized, a long time ago, that it was easy to loose you. And none of them could live without you...

___________________________

Well. That was shit. All over the place. It was meant to be funny at first, and ended up not being at all. Uh. Sorry to whoever requested it...Probably one of my weakest story, SORRY. Might delete, or re-write it later. OR WHATEVER OH MY GOD SORRY IF I SOUND WHINEY BUT THIS IS REALLY AWFUL ! Like I received messages of people excited about that story (I teased it a bit by posting sneak peak) and now I’m just afraid I disappointed you guys...anyway, I’ll go hide in a hole.

[themyskira]

The 18th Letter: A Love Story - Part 2

Last issue, an immortal shitheel started a war and slaughtered a bunch of innocent people expressly to blackmail Wonder Woman into having sex with him.

Also, the Golden Age Fury keeps trying to punch Diana because of her irrational female emotions.

And Christopher Priest forced us all to contemplate Wonder Woman taking a shit.

In this instalment, things get a whole lot worse as everybody rushes to judge Diana and nobody is concerned about her wellbeing, Priest does everything he can to strip away Fury’s agency, and Alcmaeon is determined to make both Diana and Fury’s stories all about him and his fucking manpain.

Again, I want to flag some big honking trigger warnings for abusive and coercive behaviour, attempted date rape, victim blaming, slut shaming, normalising of abuse and general shitty treatment of women.

Interlude

Flashback time! As we watch a sixteen-year-old Helena return home to find her house in ruin and her parents murdered by Nazis, Alcmaeon/Priest monologues self-indulgently.

She was too late. Much too late. Her name was Helena. And I adored her. Which was why I sent for her— in the most compelling way I could think of. She was barely 16. They were the Third Reich— and they weren’t know for their civility. I was a homeless spirit, cursed to wander the earth. Reaching out for a moment of peace, but finding only— a living death.

Pursued through all time by these hateful creatures— the Erinyes! Goddesses of vengeance set upon me as an eternal curse for my crime of matricide. Having never quite managed to defeat or destroy them, the best I could hope for was to placate them— by earning the love of their avatar.

The Furies descend on Helena, who defiantly cries that they can kill her if they want, but even in death she won’t rest until she has vengeance. They hear her vow, and empower her as an avatar of Tisiphone, the punisher of murderers.

Here’s the problem with these three pages: the monologue and accompanying scene don’t work together, and in fact serve to confuse the story.

Priest’s echoing of the first issue’s monologue over the scenes of Helena’s parents’ deaths, while very ~literary~ and ~symmetrical~, creates an implication that Alcmaeon is responsible for Helena becoming Fury. It suggests that he somehow orchestrated the murders in order to ensure that she became the Erinyes’ avatar. That he “sent for her”, as he “sent for” Diana, through carefully planned murder.

That’s completely infeasible for a variety of reasons (aside from anything else, he couldn’t know that she would summon the Erinyes in her grief), and I suspect it’s not what he intended to imply. The problem is, it’s hard to know what he is saying, because he never makes it quite clear. Did Alcmaeon seduce Helena during her years as a teenage hero, seeing an opportunity to win the favour of the Furies through the vulnerable, pliable girl they had chosen as their avatar? Did he seduce an elderly Helena in the present day and try to win her over by restoring her youth?? We just don’t know.

It’s possible this confusion is a consequence of Priest having to condense what was originally conceived as a 96-page graphic novel into a 66-page comic arc. But it’s still poor writing, prioritising literary pretentions over clarity.

And if, as Priest seems to imply in these pages, Alcmaeon’s history with Helena dates right back to her teens, that has the unpleasant effect of reframing Helena’s heroic origin around Alcmaeon’s quest to free himself from the Erinyes. Her story becomes less about how a defining trauma shaped her heroic identity for better and worse, and more about her being groomed and manipulated into becoming what she is by a man seeking to gain some hold over the Furies.

But wait, it’s gonna get worse.

Helena Kosmatos became the child phenom called— Fury. She allied herself with the Young All-Stars, battling the Nazis who had stolen her mother from her. The girl was driven by an almost psychotic hatred — consumed by the tragic loss of her mother. That is, until fate stepped in— and brought her mother back to her…

From my understanding of Helena in her Young All-Stars incarnation, her great weakness was that when she became consumed by anger, she was vulnerable to being fully possessed by Tisiphone and would be powerless to prevent the goddess from wreaking havoc.  Priest has taken this and turned it into “bitches be crazy”. Helena’s grief and righteous anger and drive for vengeance are belittled and reduced to the broken mind of an hysterical girl.

And, yes, she’s so thoroughly deluded that when a time-travelling Hippolyta (long story) appears and shows her kindness, Helena becomes convinced that Polly is her mother reincarnated.

We cut to Themyscira, where Hippolyta is explaining how she came to meet and mentor the young Helena during her stint as Wonder Woman in the forties. Polly is bemused by Helena’s claim to be her daughter. Diana is a humourless prig.

Hippolyta: I was only there for two years— hardly enough time to even date. Diana: A sense of humour ill suits you Mother. Especially when I’m seeking your counsel.

Diana turns the conversation to Alcmaeon’s Indecent Proposal. Hippolyta is of the opinion that saving the world is far less important than not being a slut.

“This war is not your concern, and, of course— compromising your virtue is out of the question.”

Don’t you love how her only worry is for her daughter’s ~unsullied virtue~ as opposed to Diana’s wishes and feelings?

Meanwhile in Lois and Clark’s apartment, Supes is being briefed on the Vladonia situation via video transmission. J’onn explains that the ceasefire has been enacted “in exchange for Wonder Woman’s consideration of… a romantic overture” and that he has told Diana “this arrangement may be in conflict with stipulations regarding the affairs of a sovereign state”.

Again — zero concern for Wondy herself. Diana is J’onn’s friend, and a mass murderer is playing on her compassion and sense of duty to coerce her into something against her will, and all J’onn can say is “I hope you understand how inconvenient this is for me and the rest of the Justice League”.

Anyway, Clark isn’t really listening to what J’onn’s saying, because he’s too busy fantasising about this:

In fact, he’s so caught up in his fantasy that J’onn has to check if he’s still receiving the transmission.

i hate this SO MUCH.

Clark isn’t upset about Diana “compromising” her “virtue”. Nor is he upset about her making things awkward for the League. He certainly doesn’t give a flying turd about her wellbeing.

No, Clark is upset at the idea of anybody but him being physically intimate Wonder Woman.

So obviously the moment his wife catches wind of this chauvinist bullshit, she kicks him in the super-balls and tells him he can fuck right off to the Fortress of Solitude until he’s learned to stop treating women like possessions— oh I’m sorry, I mean she backs him up completely and soothes his fragile man-feelings.

Lois is not concerned about Diana being preyed upon by a complete monster, either. She’s only worried about how all this is making her husband sad, and thus less emotionally available to her.

Is there anybody in this story who isn’t a complete dick?!

Second Episode

“I’m not sure what you want from me,” says Batman’s voice from the all-enveloping shadows, because Bruce Wayne cannot help being a giant fucking drama queen.

Diana pontificates for half a page on how different the Amazon way is from Batman’s way and how the fact that her teachings have had no effect on Batman, while she herself has learned cynicism, makes her almost doubt herself. But in the midst of Priest’s self-indulgent wank, he hits a genuinely disturbing note, with Diana effectively admitting that she is prepared to sleep with a predatory villain against her own personal wishes in order to end a war, and wishing to harden her heart “for the task ahead”.

Rather than show any semblance of concern for his clearly tormented friend, Batman looms unhelpfully in the shadows and offers her a blandly generic “hey, you can’t save ‘em all”.

Diana’s next stop is her old friend and surrogate mother, Julia Kapatelis, who…

ugh.

SHE FINDS IT ROMANTIC.

A man is threatening to rain destruction on innocent people unless Diana spends the night with him — something Diana clearly does not want to do — and Julia, a fiercely intelligent and kind and loving woman who looks on Diana as a daughter — Julia thinks it’s all just terribly romantic.

And that’s not even the worst of it.

“Diana— the man has been a complete gentleman—”

So far, Alcmaeon has:

Started a bloody civil war and rained destruction on innocent civilians for the express purpose of luring Wonder Woman into his orbit,

Used the promise of a ceasefire to toy with Diana and coerce her into wearing the clothes he has picked out for her and sit down to dinner with him, and

Threatened to continue slaughtering civilians unless Diana spend the night with him, with the hope/expectation that she will realise that she is “meant to be” with him.

But oh, he’s got a fancy house and an expensive tux, so I guess he’s a fucking gentleman.

Then Superman crashes the conversation so he can lecture Diana. He gives her another variation of the ‘you can’t save everyone’ talk, with a side of “I’m wondering if you’ve lost your mind”. He concedes that Diana’s mission of peace is not quite the same as the JLA’s, but he still doesn’t approve of her sleeping with a villain to fulfil that mission.

This is fucking bananas.

Like. I don’t think Christopher Priest understands. Certainly nobody in this story seems to. This is not a Wonder-Woman’s-mission-comes-in-conflict-with-the-JLA-charter situation. This is a complete-monster-trying-to-coerce-Diana-into-sex-by-holding-human-lives-to-ransom situation.

Alcmaeon is trying to rape Diana, and all of her friends are treating her as though it’s her fault, as though she’s an inconvenience, or as though she’d be crazy not to date him.

He was too late. Much too late. Her decision had already been made centuries before he was even born. The letters of prophecy foretold— in the 18th Letter.

UUUGGGGHHHH so of course Wondy shows up for the “date” she’s been coerced into, but not before we get one last round of men-casting-judgement-on-Diana:

Second Stasimon

Again with the shitty editing. To have a second stasimon, you generally need to have a first stasimon.

And still nobody is concerned about Diana’s actual wellbeing.

Third Episode

We left New Vladonia at nightfall, about 8 PM local time. She insisted on driving.

Haha, oh, these women with their adorable notions of equality!

They’re in the invisible plane. Alcmaeon has brought a bag containing several changes of clothing, because he’s still trying to dictate what she wears. He’s planned a busy travel itinerary that chases the night across the globe, prolonging the evening for as long as possible because, as he puts it,

I had only one night with the most exquisite woman to ever walk the earth. I intended to make the most of it.

VOMIT.

The reveal won’t come until a third of the way into the next issue, but I’m going to spoil it now: Alcmaeon spends the entire date essentially trying to roofie Diana, using genetically engineered drugs and high-tech contact lenses that render women unable to resist his advances. Fortunately, Diana has come prepared and isn’t affected, but bear this in mind as Alcmaeon begins to fall in lurrrrve with her. This. man. is. a. rapist.

They meet the Pope (?!?!), go ballroom dancing, take a ferry ride, watch a baseball game, go to a fun fair. Diana’s have an awesome time.

Then Diana takes him to a soup kitchen in an effort to teach him something about compassion and humanity. The lesson he takes away is a somewhat different one.

VOM. IT.

We also get this infuriating exchange in which Alcmaeon asks why they don’t just throw some money at the homeless and get on with their evening, and Diana is like LOL NO YOU CAN’T TRUST THE POORS WITH MONEY THEY’LL JUST SPEND IT ON BOOZE AND DRUGS

Such compassion.

Next stop is Maui, where Alcmaeon tries to convince the woman he’s essentially taken hostage to “get jiggy with it”.

Yes, that is a direct quote.

Haha! He tried to pressure the woman he’s planning to date-rape into wearing a revealing bikini! What comedy! C’moooon, Diannnnna! Daaaaance with the nice murdering rapist!

Which of course she does.

She was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. And, easily, the most graceful. I was powerless before her. Ten thousand years of charm— completely ineffectual on her. Those eyes… a million miles away.

So, let me see if I’m getting this. Alcmaeon is falling in “love” with Diana because

She’s the most beautiful girl in the world! That makes her the best!

She is the only girl in the world resistant to his charms date rape drugs

A vaguely defined prophecy said he would or something, I guess

They move on to Mecca, Cairo, Sudan, Northern Ireland.

A bond. A shared spiritual experience. Suddenly, she was getting inside me. Something I hadn’t quite counted on. The realisation gave me great joy, though. For if she was getting to me— I had to be getting to her. At another of Diana’s choice of stops, she reveals a new power — perhaps her most potent weapon of all — singing. Some ancient Greek folk tune. But a voice— that could halt armies.

Throughout this, Priest appears to be playing on Diana’s mission to spread her philosophy of peace and compassion, her ability to touch people’s hearts and win over enemies. As we’ll see, the Greek lullaby that so enchants Alcmaeon becomes something of a metaphor for his long-buried conscience, returning to haunt him.

Problem is, we see this through the eyes of Alcmaeon, who conflates these qualities with her beauty and gracefulness — and arguably he isn’t affected by her message of compassion at all, only his own attraction to her. Throughout their travels, we see Diana consistently prompting him to connect with the ordinary people around them — a crying child at a fun fair, homeless people in a soup kitchen, religious pilgrims at Mecca, a sickly child in Sudan — and consistently Alcmaeon is focussed solely on Diana. He indulges her, admires her, moons after her, all the while looking straight through the people she’s inviting him to engage with.

So essentially this sequence ends up playing as the Deep and Complex mass-murdering-rapist-monster who reconnects with his lost blah-de-blah by staring into the eyes of a sexy-gorgeous-beautiful-goddess-woman-object.

Though she seemed at peace, the war [in Northern Ireland] continued. Over both the summer’s breeze and the latest broken ceasefire, she listened to the guns of Belfast.

(This is an anachronism. While the Troubles were probably ongoing when Priest started writing this in the late nineties, they had effectively ended two years before this comic went to print in August 2000.)

Anyway, Alcmaeon retreats to the bathroom, because he is sooooo toooortured by her sooooong.

I was running out of night. And all I heard was the damned singing. The Greek lullaby— reverberating in my head. Worse than the Erinyes.

Boohoo, fucko.

The mirror in front of him shatters, and Fury appears to flounce around in classic Bitter Jealous Ex form. She speechifies about how Alcmaeon can’t possibly win Diana’s love because he’s not capable of love — has never loved any of the women in his life. I’m with her so far. But then she calls him a “gigolo seeking refuge from a guilty conscience”, which is insulting. Gigolos exchange sexual services for payment by consensual agreement; Alcmaeon doesn’t know the meaning of consent.

So then out of nowhere there’s an explosion and Fury’s thrown back and suddenly Alcmaeon’s wearing some high-tech metal sleeve?? And Fury turns into a gorgon all ‘RAAA YOU’LL PAY FOR THAT’ and Alcmaeon’s like ‘pfft, that’s your weakness, see, your irrational female tempers and emotions’.

Diana tries to break up the fight by calling both of them deluded, which, nice job, Diana. Super diplomatic. She then tries to smooth things over by saying she respects Helena’s wartime heroism and sacrifices, which only sets Fury off again.

“What do you know of sacrifice, Diana?!? Hippolyta was my mother a lifetime before she became yours! I named my own daughter after her— only to lose Lyta to the very goddesses who empowered me! You know nothing of sacrifice, Amazon— NOTHING!! The Eumenides possessed my child— sent her on a mission of murder! When it was over, the deed done, my child Lyta was gone, and— her child— my grandchild— was sacrificed! “MY SACRIFICE?”?! You can’t begin to know what you’re talking about!!”

Iiiiiii am always a bit iffy about writers bringing Sandman continuity into mainstream DC? I know it uses a lot of pre-existing DC characters, including some superheroes. I know a lot of DC writers have drawn on and acknowledged Sandman as canon in the main DCU. It doesn’t really sit comfortably for me. A little cameo from Death or Dream can be fun, but when you start to drag in all the events of The Kindly Ones… at that point it starts to grate, for me.

On the other hand, if you strip away Priest’s bullshit characterisation of Fury, there is a cool concept in here. A young teenage heroine, still grieving her mother and coming to grips with the full implications of her deal with the Erinyes, encounters an Amazon queen grieving her lost daughter (this was just after Diana had ‘died’ in continuity) and becomes her protege? Even comes to see her as a surrogate mother, to the point that years later she names her own daughter Hippolyta? That’s a nice way to weave Helena into modern continuity! There’s some great story potential there! Unfortunately, Priest has wasted all of it by making her a generic crazy-jealous-delusional-ragebitch and pitting her and Diana against each other for no good reason.

And hey, how about this: instead of this clunky premise of Helena “withering away in a convalescent home” until Alcmaeon showed up to restore her youth and hook her into his nonsense — further eroding her agency in the process — what if the same power that enabled her to avenge her parents’ deaths also condemned her to ultimately watch everyone she’s ever loved die? To never be reunited with her lost family? In granting her a share of Tisiphone’s power, the Furies also conferred a share of their immortality (she’s their earthly vessel, they don’t plan to lose her through something as small as mortal ageing).

That gives a new perspective on why her marriage to Iron Munroe went so badly, why she gave Lyta up for adoption, why she was so adamant her daughter never know her true parentage. Consciously or unconsciously, she’s sabotaged every relationship she’s had, trying to spare herself the pain of loss.

So she’s isolated and embittered and hurting. She no longer has friends and loved ones to ground her — she burned those bridges long ago, and most of them are dead anyway. The daughter she never knew is gone, and the grandson she never met is as good as dead. So maybe she’s more amenable these days to the Erinyes’ bloodthirsty form of justice — eventually putting her at odds with Diana.

(And I think we need to be clear that her anger isn’t only her weakness; it’s her strength. Lyta isn’t the Incredible Hulk, she’s Nemesis — this is a woman whose righteous anger once burned so bright it summoned the Erinyes from the depths of the Underworld. Her rage feeds Tisiphone, yes — but when it’s focussed, when it’s righteous, it also gives Helena power.)

…but anyway, back to this book, where Helena is instead just having an incoherent, violent tantrum.

Diana tells Fury that her mother died long ago. Fury spews some deluded nonsense about how her mother was reincarnated!! as Hippolyta!! the ONE TRUE WONDER WOMAN!! Diana tells Fury off for being a shittily-written character brought low by her hysterical female emotions.

“It’s a lie. A delusion that brought you comfort— the product of a grieving woman left alone in this world! A woman seduced by one of history’s great seducers. A woman scorned!  My mother loved you and showed you kindness. You have been cruelly used, Fury— and you have lost much! But I am responsible for none of it. Not for the loss of your mother— or for your having fallen in love with the man you were charged with vexing.”

Fury turns on a dime, sneers that since Diana apparently knows everything already then her presence is no longer required, then flies off declaring that Diana and Alcmaeon deserve each other.  Alcmaeon reassures Diana that bitches be crazy.  Diana is frosty as she flies shithead back home.

As the sun rises on the next morning, she asks him how she can be sure he’ll keep his word and end the war. He uses this as an excuse to kiss her like the gross creep that he is.

but oh

oh there’s more, friends.

Why yes, that is Clark Kent abandoning his wife to loom terrifyingly over the Atlantic while perving on Diana with a jealous glower.

[slayerbook]

The Dark Knight Eviscerated

Here’s a thought that’s been nagging at me awhile now:

The Dark Knight Returns is the ultimate Batman story. And a significant, worthy piece of Western fiction. The cartoon movie, however, makes some baffling choices.

It’s probably my favorite Bat movie (after the Batman ‘66 one). I’m famously picky about Bat movies. I think Tim Burton’s Batman flicks are basically worthless — influential and significant, but crappy. And the Nolan ones are no fun: No scene can be summarized as “Bad guys are doing bad shit, then Batman drops in and kicks much ass.” (Captain America: The Winter Soldier is a much better Batman movie than any of the Batman movies. And the Bat fights in Bats v. Supes sure are swell, but...)

So unlike ALL other Batmovies, proper director Joy Oliva gave the cartoon Dark Knight Returns enough good action to satisfy. Still: over time, those choices gnawed at me. Some consciously, some not.

The cast is swell, but voice acting is disjointed and awful. Voice Director Andrea Romano is an hero in animation, but man, I don’t understand what she OK’d here. Peter Weller, Robocop himself, voices Bruce. He said he didn’t even read the comics, because he wanted to do his own thing with it. Oooof. I wish he had read it.

But more important: The script. Two things I can't get over, one obvious, one subtle but significant:

One: Cutting the narration, bad choice: If you're going to make a movie from the book, do it. Don't make it something else. Cutting the narration is like them adapting Year One, but totally changing the art style (only to use it in the credits,as if to say "Yeah, we coulda done that, but this is OUR shit — great, right?!"). But here's the one(s) I noticed this month, when I caught it on HBO:

Two, and here’s the kicker: The adaptation does everything it can to soften the political content. And the political content is essential. Not only does the adaptation remove the Bruce quote that serves as a thesis:

Bruce to Clark: "You say yes to anybody with a badge & a flag."

It also removes a nearby line from Oliver, who calls the police “fascist sons of bitches!"

The “badge & a flag” line is replaced with a couple utterly toothless, vague lines about being obedient to the wrong kind of authority. The changes remind me of Alan Moore objecting to V for Vendetta adaptation because the movie fails to mention fascism.

So, in conclusion, the Dark Knight Returns cartoon has stellar action, but fails because it won't say what the book does. The cartoon tells the story, but reduces it to a clash between two big superheroes — two essential American ideologies, not so much.

And I get it: What do you expect from a corporate cartoon?

But still, you know? If you're gonna do the thing, do the thing.

— BONUS: Here’s my full Winter Soldier vs. Nolan Batman piece, after the jump

I wrote this when Winter Solider was a new release, for Diffuser, which tried to be the AV Club for a minute, before the bosses stepped in and f*cked it up:

Captain America Out-Batmans Batman, and It Didn’t Take Much

It’s on. Captain America will go head-to-head against Batman and Superman in the DC heroes’ all-but-guaranteed megasmash crossover, when both franchises' next movies are released on the same day, May 6, 2016. Improbably, brand loyalty notwithstanding, Cap has the advantage if you’re waiting for an emotionally charged, kick-ass thrillride.

 Providing three-or-more thrills a minute, the pulse-pounding new “Captain America: The Winter Soldier” retroactively reduces all Batman movies’ scores by two letter grades. (OK, 2008’s “The Dark Knight” only loses one letter, for reasons we’ll get into). If “Winter Soldier” isn’t the best Super Hero Movie, Super Hero Action Movie, and Comic Book Movie, then it’s certainly in the top 3, in contention with “The Avengers,” “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World,” and M. Night Shylaman’s underrecognized “Unbreakable” — but definitely not Chris Nolan’s Bat-movies (or Bat-writer David Goyer’s mixed-bag of a Superman reboot, 2013’s “Man of Steel”).

 Captain America’s dark return once and for all shines a spotlight on the glaring fact that Batfans have been hesitant to acknowledge since Tim Burton’s slavishly overrated 1989 Batman: On the big screen, Batman has never been presented as an action hero.

 Both modern Batman franchises have been propelled into cult status through heroic applications of geek gratitude: A decent, dark Batman movie is better than no Batman movie. So the fanboys eat them up. And the people who don’t know any better embrace them as well.

 In retrospect, the Batmovies from the 1980s and ’90s paved the way for the superhero movie as we know it. But as Batmovies, they’re thorough failures. Burton’s first “Batman” was an art film with roughly thirty seconds of action, half of which involved Batman firing machine guns at Jack Nicholson, who was impersonating Daffy Duck, but somehow passed off himself off as the Joker. Clad in a rubber suit, Michael Keaton’s Batman punches a couple guys and almost randomly squares off with a Joker goon who has some martial arts training… for about six seconds.

 Batman 1989 Trailer:

http://youtu.be/HlsM2_8u_mk

 And the rest of the old-school Bat franchise is downhill from there. By 1997’s “Batman and Robin,” even with action icon Arnold Schwarzenneger in tow, the movies had developed into a campy drag-queen aesthetic. The universally derided — yet financially successful — final installment did more justice to Uma Thurman’s Poison Ivy than Batman or Bane. (In itself, there’s nothing wrong with that vibe, but it’s not what anybody wants in a Batflick.) At least Michael Keaton aced the brooding aspect of Batman. With George frickin’ Clooney and Val Kilmer in the Batman role, these supposed action flicks become costume fantasies that are invested in the idea that a person can put on a costume and suddenly become somebody completely different. And maybe that works at night clubs, but not when you’re fighting crime.

 At the heart of those Batflicks is a willful blind eye to physical reality: Someone who spent his whole life training to become Batman would not look — or move — like Keaton, Clooney, or Kilmer. Those movies barely pass the actors off as a billionaire playboy. And the action? Forget about it. The “Batman [’66]” TV series holds up better.

 That said, physical reality didn’t serve the Nolan Batmovies well, either. In 2005, “Batman Begins” provides a origin tale of young Bruce Wayne as a brawler-turned-ninja. And while it features some respectable action scenes, they’re not anything to make a viewer cringe or rewind and watch again. True, Nolan finally depicts Bruce Wayne as a guy who does some pushups. And real martial arts are in the mix, albeit with some stiff choreography.

 Batman Begins, Bruce Wayne escapes the League of Shadows… or does he?

http://youtu.be/Z8tysDC31Yo

 In 2008, the overlong “The Dark Knight” staged a couple swell action sequences, but they weren’t essentially rooted in Batman’s character. The most memorable IMAX-size scene is the Joker’s escape from a police van. In this second outing, Batman doesn’t emerge as an Olympic-level athlete. In fact, the plot’s tech-heavy resolution doesn’t make a very good case for Batman as a Sherlock Holmes-caliber detective, either. The guy in the costume is not doing what Batman is famous for doing.

 Dark Knight Van 2

http://youtu.be/Zg1cDKYmK98

 And the controversial misfire that was 2012 “The Dark Knight Rises”? Batman does fight more in it, but it’s nothing to blog about. Squaring off time and again, Batman and Bane trade rudimentary martial arts moves. The fighting style is realistic for a couple guys that size, but it’s dull.

 Batman’s big move is a thrusting front kick, which he uses over and over again. The technique is devastating when it connects, but you can see it coming all the way from the Triskelion. Batman’s first fight with Bane would be slightly more exciting if was really shot in total darkness. The movie’s climax involves a big vehicle chase, in which a weaponized camo SUV lobs a half-dozen slow-arcing, heat-seeking missiles at the Batwing. And it zooms away. Big whoop. Catwoman’s action had better choreography and revealed more about her character. At some point, Nolan deluded himself into imagining he was making a James Bond movie. “Dark Knight Rises”’ most memorable action sequences involve…

 1) Bane hijacking a plane (with Batman nowhere in sight).

 2) Hines Ward running back a kickoff for a touchdown as a football stadium collapses behind him (with Batman nowhere in sight).

 And

 3) Bane punching the sh*t out of a Tuscan column (instead of turning around, zeroing in on Batman, and displacing the rest of the Bat’s spinal column).

 Bane vs. the Architecture

http://youtu.be/DImh0ac-jdQ

 After all that realistic fighting, Bane can suddenly barehandedly dismantle a stone column? Now, obviously, Nolan made a decision to root his Batmovies in reality. But who cares? What’s more exciting? Tom Hardy, Chris Nolan, and very few invisible wires? Or this boss fight from the videogame “Batman: Arkham Origins”?

 http://youtu.be/OqEqN17zW8s

 Batman, obviously, has endless potential as an action hero. And it’s not like it can’t be done. The only Batman movie with real action scenes that will make you applaud, duck, and empathetically wince is the 2013 adaptation of Frank Miller’s game-changing mini-series “The Dark Knight Returns.” Director Jay Oliva researched real-life muay Thai and mixed-martials arts techniques to choreograph larger-than-life action scenes like Batman taking out an entire SWAT team (granted, they have the aim of Imperial Stormtroopers) and dissecting a feral gang leader who’s bigger and fiercer than Bane:

 Bats vs. Mutants

http://youtu.be/RV18kZIBBZA

 In the movie’s adaptation of the greatest fight in comic-book history, Batman defeats Superman in visceral hand-to-hand combat. (More or less: Bats is wearing an armored suit, and Superman is weakened from a previous nuclear explosion.) Maybe bringing the ultimate Batman story to life requires a cartoon, but maybe not.

 Dark Knight Returns, Supes-Bats pt 2, including steamroller

http://youtu.be/OYBClxNR_fU

 In Rocksteady’s “Arkham Knight,” photorealistic CGI turns Batman into a high-flying, car-jumping, slow-mo leaping, gang-punching, bullet-dodging, man of action (with the aid of some brilliant writing on par with Nolan & Goyer’s best).

 Batman Arkham Knight Trailer

http://youtu.be/wsf78BS9VE0

 Presumably, Goyer’s upcoming Batman-Superman reboot will take its cues from “Man of Steel” and deliver some superspeed hand-to-hand combat. But as of now, no Batmovie’s action scene can be roughly described thusly: “Batman swoops in out of nowhere and punches the bejeezus out of a bunch of dudes in a nimble, über-athletic manner.” No, if you want that kind of action, you need to see “Captain America: The Winter Solider.”

 If you experienced seen the movie yet, we know it sounds suspect. “Captain America: The First Avenger” was a good super hero origin story. But it wasn’t an earth-shaker. Not like “The Avengers, “which sets the bar on superhuman, comic book-style, truly-epic-scale action. But “Cap2ain America” brings the pain better than any franchise since the “Bourne” movies. The action in the new Cap flick isn’t about the Hulk and Thor taking down an invading alien army. No, in “Winter Soldier,” simply put, the characters — guys and girls — kick ass.

 Cap ship scene:

http://youtu.be/6k0kkSHiiPE

 Now that is “Hero drops in from the darkness and punches the bejeezus out of a bunch of dudes in a nimble, über-athletic manner.” The first ten minutes of “Winter Soldier” present Cap as an unstoppable fighter who thinks as fast has he moves. No slow build. The credits roll, and bam. Cap takes out an elite commando unit almost singlehandedly. It’s an apples-to-oranges comparison, but Batroc the Leaper has more moves than Nolan’s Batman.

 Cap vs. Batroc:

http://youtu.be/aHh0XaW0UyQ

 In one fight after another, Captain Rogers, his allies, and foes sinker deeper into a disorienting world of intrigue and escalating stakes. And Cap’s small crew of well-defined characters convincingly fight like they’re in an MMA cage. Flying knee-smashes. Lethal acrobatics. Interpersonal hand-to-hand combat that will leave you ducking in your seat. Intricate weapons-play that might not be believable, but is sure as hell memorable. Captain America even walks up to Batman’s home turf and makes it his. Contrast these two rooftop scenes:

 Cap rooftop scene:

http://youtu.be/zyUTeZVnd2w

 Dark Knight Returns Rooftop Scene:

http://youtu.be/D1zBw86sPk8

 Guess whose is more awesome? Again, perhaps not physically plausible, but awesome. Even without Cap running through walls, which one is more likely to make you want to watch it twice?

 In Nolan’s Batmovies, the Bat Tumbler may have provided some highlights. Batman sures operates motor vehicles a lot. But contrast the Bat-chases with this motorcycle scene from “Winter Soldier.” Of course, nobody could really singlehandedly take out a fighter jet. But the movie makes you believe — if only for a moment — that Steve Rogers could. The real “Superman” movie made a generation believe a man could fly. And the Nolan Batmovies? They’ll make you believe a man can hop into a small flying vehicle and zoom away.

 Cap vs. Jet:

http://youtu.be/RYSgkqc9EWI

 If Goyer and Nolan have seen “Winter Soldier,” they should be losing sleep over it. The spent around $600 million to make three movies that are memorable mostly for their ambience and an unforgettable Heath Ledger performance. Compared to “Winter Solider,” the Nolan Batman films represent the largest wasted opportunity since the “Star Wars Episodes I-III: The Jar-Jar Trilogy.” The ball’s in your court, Bats. We’re eagerly awaiting your response.

[ellana-ravenwood]

Fate is a bitch (2) - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Well, originally this story wasn’t suppose to have a second part but tons of people asked me so, here’s a second part :-). I hope you will like it : 

FINISHED SERIES : PART 1

My master list blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

_________________________________________________

Destiny. 

You strongly believed in Destiny. 

No matter what people could say, how many arguments against it they had, and how much they were sceptic about it…it wouldn’t change your mind. You strongly believed in Destiny.

Because it was impossible only coincidences brought you were you were now…At your wedding with the famous Bruce Wayne. 

************

It all happened about four years ago, when your son, Billy, somehow ended up getting caught by the Justice League and you almost used your elemental powers on them and punched Superman and...it was kind of a mess. 

Basically, you ended up being part of the League. 

Which was something, for someone like you, who was from a poor neighborhood, who had so many struggles in life and who found a kid once, a kid who was living in an abandoned station of the subway (you don’t even remember what brought you there...well, Destiny obviously), a kid who changed your life, and that you just had to adopt. 

At barely 25 years old. Oh the struggles were no where near to end. 

Then you met that guy, that dark and broody guy who stood up for your son when everyone else wanted to “fire” him from the League because he was but a ten years old child.

And that always seemed to smile when you were in the vicinity, though according to everyone else, the Batman never smiled. It was weird right ? And you caught yourself more than once wishing he was smiling because you were there, but it was impossible. 

Sure you and him always seemed to be able to talk about anything without any restrain, like you felt you could tell him everything on your heart, and more often than not, he talked to you about his own troubles and fears...The Batman, talking to you about his troubles and fears ! But it was impossible.

Oh you fell for him pretty fast, and hard, so so hard...But you thought it as impossible. He was older, he was clearly a man with tons of issues that couldn’t hold a relationship (according to his Bruce Wayne persona), he was the goddamn Batman...It just couldn’t be ! 

And yet. Yet. Your sons set you up. Damian and Billy. They tricked you into coming to dinner to the Wayne Manor and...Then Bruce fucked everything up. He avoided you. He stopped talking to you..Because he was afraid to drag you into his dark life. 

But when you almost died, and stayed in a coma for three months. When he just had to take care of your son and make sure you were gonna be alright...He realized that, well, destiny. 

And that’s when things started to get crazy. 

************

All the media could talk about was that “mysterious woman” who seemed to have caught Bruce Wayne’s heart. 

You have no idea how, but they knew everything about you (which made you wonder why they called you “mysterious woman”...what the hell ?). They knew Bruce was twelve years older, they knew you already had a son, they knew you were almost poor (with an emphasis on this because of course you’re after the Wayne fortune !), they knew you were originally from Gotham but went to live elsewhere later, they knew;..they knew everything ! 

It was difficult at first, especially when all the questions you received were about how you were with the man you loved just for his money. After a while though, you got tired of it and started to answer things like : 

-Oh yeah. In fact, I tried every single billionaires in Gotham and in New Jersey in general, just to see who was the best, and well, I guess Bruce won. 

-What do you mean “tried” ? 

-Well, you know...Tried. How expensive the gifts they gave me were, how many times were we going on date nights, if they were really taking me to the best restaurants...Oh, and if they were decent in bed ! If they knew, for example, what the clitoris was you know ? Important things really. 

The look on the journalist’s face when you said that, and the panicky movements she made, the gestures to make the cameraman understand that he should film elsewhere. 

As soon as you said that though, you regretted it. Yeah sure most people would understand that you were being sarcastic and all, but there was definitely gonna be a percentages of people that were going to believe your words to be true. 

You didn’t care much, but you did care about Bruce’s reputation, and you were a bit mad at yourself that you probably just embarrassed him there...Oh he was totally going to realize that you were too immature for him and leave you. Damn you and your big mouth...Especially since those little outburst of annoyance were a recurrence with you...

************

You had nothing to worry about though. When you joined Bruce, a bit worried what he was going to say, he just smiled widely and said :

-Well I’m glad you set your eyes on me after...”trying” that many people. 

He winked, and wasn’t able to stop himself from laughing, because it was the first time he saw someone making a gotham’s journalist uncomfortable...usually, it was them who found the perfect words to make someone feel clumsy and embarrassed with their words ! 

With a loving kiss to your forehead he said : 

-You’re the best. 

And all worries about ever being an embarrassment for him were gone. You always cracked him up when you were being a sarcastic little shit, and more than once tv cameras got him bursting out in a genuine laughter after you talked back to a journalist that was asking you a too personal, or stupid question. There were even compilations on YouTube of you saying one of your famous punchline, and him just starting to laugh like crazy (you suspected Billy and Tim to make those video compilations). Oh, and memes too...

***********

Yes. Destiny. It was real, it couldn’t be otherwise. Almost four years after the League discovered you and your son, it was Destiny that brought you here, with Bruce, on a beautiful starry summer night, as he was taking you for a discreet date out. You believed in Fate more than ever. 

A hot dog at your favorite food truck in Gotham, wearing only casual clothes so no one would recognize you (and no one did, for most people, it was impossible that Bruce Wayne would go out in a plain t-shirt, cargo shorts and sneakers), a walk on the docks, which was your favorite place ever...And a knee on the floor. 

-Br...Bruce what are you doing ? 

-Hum. I...isn’t this how you’re suppose to do it ? I’m not sure I never done it before...and I don’t want to do it again after. 

You’re silent, as he takes a little box out of his cargo short’s pocket, take his cap off, and opens it in front of you...A ring. Not an extra fancy one. A white gold band with just a little diamond on it. Oh that man. He knew how expensive things always made you a bit awkward and uneasy. 

Not to say that this ring wasn’t expensive, but it was...Simple. 

Your heart stopped as he said : 

-(Y/N) (Y/L/N)...Will you marry me ? 

There was a few agonizing minutes of silence that almost drove Bruce crazy until you said, in a very weak voice, barely a whisper : 

-...Yes. Of course, of course I will. 

People around applause, unaware that they just witnessed the marriage proposal of the most famous persons in Gotham ! 

Bruce got on his feet and took you in his arms, crushing you on his strong chest, and all you could do is laugh stupidly. Laugh because you were so happy. You were about to say something, and to kiss him when : 

-YES YES YEEEEEEES !! Hey Dam...Robin, now we’re really brothers. 

You and Bruce turned around and glared at your son, fortunately, no one noticed the grown ass man and the kid, standing on a boat down the docks. No one noticed Shazam and Robin, just standing there, and cheering you up. Or rather, Billy was cheering, his arms slung around Damian, and Dams’ stayed stern and stoic. As usual. 

For a few seconds, you got scared that the one you came to call your son wasn’t happy that you’d marry his dad, but when he said : 

-Tt. Don’t be a fool Shazam...We already were brothers. 

It kinda melted both you and Bruce’s heart. And you could have sworn you saw tears in your boy’s eyes at his brother’s words. When Billy, still in his adult form, took Damian in his arms, you couldn’t help the little laugh escaping your lips as your little Dami’ was trying to not suffocate at the force of his brother’s hug.

************

And here you were, the day of your wedding, about to get hitch with the love of your life. 

It was a small and cute reception, only close friends and family. 

Alfred cried. Clark cried. Arthur and Hal cried. Barry cried. And Diana rolled her eyes at their over-sensitivness, though she had to admit, seeing the Bat and you getting married was very emotional. 

The amazon too, strongly believed in Destiny, and ever since she first saw you and Bruce interact, she just knew you were made for each other. 

She even asked her “half-sister” Aphrodite once, and when the goddess told her : “Oh I haven’t seen a love so pure and true since...Since ever, really”, she knew she was right. 

Your wedding was perfect. Your sons got really excited. 

Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian were the happiest boys ever, that Bruce found you, and that you always accepted them as your sons (ever since the beginning). Those last four years had been the happiest since a long time they had, and they really felt like they had a family. They were already all calling you “mom”, but this wedding...it made it all official. That morning, you had signed their adoption papers, and they now really were your kids. 

Billy too, was overly happy. Because now, he had the best mother ever...But also the most awesome father, and four amazing brothers ! Just like you accepted Bruce’s children as your own, Bruce had been nothing but great to Billy, and never did a difference between the five boys. They were his, and that was that. Billy sobbed like a baby in his dad’s arms when Bruce signed the official adoption papers...

Yes. That wedding was perfect. 

************

It was Billy’s seventeenth birthday, and you ended up having the best gift ever for him. You were just waiting for the best time to say it. 

Seventeen. You couldn’t believe that your baby boy was turning seventeen already. Damian had turned eighteen that year, and oh let’s not talk about Tim being already nineteen, almost twenty, Dick twenty four (the age you were when you and Bruce got together !) and Jason twenty two. It was too depressing for you to even thing about your kids growing up that fast.  

It was rare to be able to get all the family in one place. Five busy kids, your two oldest not living in the family nest anymore (you cried, when they moved into their own apartment, but their hugs and soothing words to you, the way they made sure you knew how much they loved you and how you’ll always be their mom, it made you feel better...just a bit). Tim still lived at Wayne Manor, and would until he was done with College...he was trying his hardest not to go crazy as his younger brothers made it a mission to annoy him. Oh but he loved those little buggers (that were not so little anymore), and would forgive them anything. Or rather, almost anything. 

As Alfred brings the cake in, and Billy jumps excitedly on his chair, you can’t help but smile, and snuggle against Bruce who was sitting next to you. 

He throws an arm around your shoulder, an brings you closer, smiling at his son as Billy blows on his candles. 

Damian spends the next few minutes trying to get his brother to say what his wish was, but no, Billy won’t say it because it means it won’t happen if he does ! But as each year, he ends up saying it anyway, and gets mad at himself because : “this is why none of my wishes ever happen !”. And this time, Damian seems to regret making him say it, because it was also something he wanted : 

-A little sister. 

The words made you stiffen in your husband’s arms, and at his worried look...yeah ok you had to say it : 

-Hum...Well...I don’t know about a little sister but...hum...I wanted to wait until after you opened your gifts but I guess now...Hum...

They all understand of course, but they want you to confirm it with your words. Well, scratch that, it seems like they all understand, but your husband. He pulled away from you slightly and looks at you, a mix of curiosity and hope in his eyes. 

You talked about having children of your own, though you never really tried because...Well, five teenage boys was a lot of work. And now...What were you saying ? 

Not looking at any of them, and especially not at Bruce, you blurted out : 

-I’m pregnant ! I’ve known since last week but thought that waiting for all of us to be here was best. I still don’t know what the gender is though and...

Your husband’s lips crashing on yours shut you up. 

Alfred lets out a high pitched scream and goes to literally tear away Bruce from you, and takes you in his arms. You respond to the hug, and the tears your adopted father let slides on your shoulder melt your heart. 

Dick jumps on his feet and is already blabbering about how he’ll teach him or her everything about gymnastic and how to be flawless and good looking at all time (oh that boy). Jason, after rolling his eyes at Dick, comes to hug you too (after Alfred finally lets go of you), and whispers a heartfelt “congratulations” in your hear. You hug him back, squeezing your now grown ass man of a son against your heart. 

Damian and Billy are...dancing a gig ? Billy because he won’t be the baby anymore (oh but he’ll always stay the baby, they all will), and Damian because...oh he was just so excited. The more the merrier. 

The only one that seemed a bit reluctant was Tim. And when you looked at him with a questioning look in his eyes, he simply says : 

-...I hope to god it’s a sister, I can’t deal with more boys right now. 

And the laugh that takes you over quickly spreads to your entire family. And of course, quickly after that, Tim reassures you, he’s also excited to have a new sibling. 

That night, you fall asleep in your Bruce’s arms, with his hand splayed protectively over your stomach. 

************

Your boys took a bet about the gender of the baby. Most bet on a boy, because...Well, they all wanted a sister, so of course they’d get a boy ! Bruce was sure it was a girl, so was Billy. 

Turned out, their guts were right, and when you told all of them that they were going to have a little sis’, the burst of joy that took over them was the best thing you ever saw. 

You felt a tint of jealousy for the little girl growing inside you...she was going to have the best brothers in the world, and an amazing father (who was already freaking out about so many things...Him and Alfred child proofed the entire mansion, and it was the most hilarious thing to see EVER). You grew up without a family and oh, you were just so glad that this little one you already loved to death was going to be lucky and have all the love you never had as a kid. 

************

Of course, there was NO WAY that, now that you were pregnant, your husband, your sons and even Alfred (especially Alfred) would let you go out on patrol, or on any missions. 

It was alright for you, you didn’t want to put your child in any danger...But as you approached the term and was full on pregnant, danger came to you. 

You were so tired lately, the baby was due for only a week after and oh this third trimester was hard on you. 

Your hormones had been playing tricks on you...Hell, this morning you cried because Billy asked you if you needed anything, and when Dick came by from Bludhaven to check on you, you bursted into tears in his arms, unable to stop. Your oldest son just held you in his arms and waited patiently for you to calm down and...the fact that he was so understanding made you cry again ! 

It wasn’t helping that Bruce, against his will, had so much work as Batman. Major world threat were acting up lately, and the League was busiest than ever...You wished you could fight by their side, make sure your family and friends were safe and all...

Yes, you just couldn’t wait for your daughter to come. 

Alfred was baking you your favorite cookies and making some tea when it happened. 

You were half-asleep on the couch, when you felt...Something was wrong. You didn’t had time to react, you didn’t had time to use your powers, you were too weak...The last thing you remember are masked men knocking you out. 

************

But of course. You were the famous (Y/N) Wayne. You were pregnant with Bruce Wayne’s child. Of course it was a great idea to kidnap you. 

How those guys went pass Wayne Manor’s security system was a mystery...that they explained to you. By hacking. They hacked into the system and annihilated it. Or rather, showed the cameras and such that everything was good. So they were smart...Because Tim was the one that set this security system up. 

Oh. Smart criminals. They were the worst. 

************

Alfred was frantic, and felt so so guilty. But Bruce reassured him, and didn’t allow himself to panic. He needed to keep his cool if he wanted to find you in one piece. 

He stayed cold and detached, as he was trying to get any clues. Oh those guys weren't amateurs, they planned all that, because the clues were few...but there. 

************

You started to feel the first contraction about an hour after the kidnapping. Your kidnappers were...strangely civil and nice. They didn’t tie you up or anything, they just wanted money. Though they did knock you out, one of them apologized as he gave you a pack of ice. 

And when your water broke, they slightly panicked. 

They didn't get any time to fully enter : “panic mode” though, as your husband and sons charged in. 

You almost felt bad for them and the severe beating they got. Almost, because you could feel your daughter wanting to come out and...Oh my god of course, she was a Wayne, she heard the fight and was resolute to come RIGHT NOW. 

When Bruce got to you, he freaked out. The baby was coming. And the nearest hospital was too far...

But that was not counting on Billy. He told them to join him afterward, and left flying, speeding through the sky.

************

Of course, all the media knew that (Y/N) Wayne arrived in Shazam’s arms to the hospital to give birth to a long awaited daughter in the hour you arrived. 

But also, Bruce made sure none of them could actually access the hospital. An army of private security was shielding the clinic’s doors, letting go only people who needed doctors in. 

A few journalists tried to sneak in, but the entire floor where you were had been privatized. Of course. Bruce did NOT want pictures of you and his daughter in the news the next day. The only pictures the media will get, was the one he would give them and that is it (because of course, a public figure such as Bruce Wayne kinda had to give said pictures...). 

Billy went to a closet when he got you there and was sure doctors were taking of you, and after a “SHAZAM !” he went back to his seventeen year old self, and waited patiently (but also very worried) for the rest of the family to arrive. 

************

When Bruce held her for the first time, he hadn’t been able to hold his tears. 

She was so tiny and perfect. 

She was so beautiful and precious. 

His little girl. His daughter. She wasn’t even three hours yet, and Bruce just knew he would give her the World if he had to. 

They all held her. A bit clumsy and afraid to hurt her. But whenever she was placed in their arms...Their eyes were shining with so much love that, yes, you knew your little girl would always be loved and protected.

Billy cried...Well, they all cried. Even Damian. 

A little sister. They had a little sister. 

You fell asleep that night, your daughter in a deep slumber in her cribs, your husband wrapped around you, and your sons asleep all around the hospital bedroom. Because you were the famous Waynes, your family was allowed to stay the night, and you needed them there, this was perfect. 

(Your daughter’s name) didn’t cry that morning, but she was already awake, making small sounds that woke your husband up. He unwrapped himself from you, and you were so tired that you didn’t even move. 

He looked around, Damian though he was now an huge eighteen year old, was slumped over Dick, Tim and Jason. They were all sitting on uncomfortable hospital chairs, asleep, their head on each others. Damian was laying across their laps, his legs, too long, falling at the end of the chairs in a mess. Billy, though he was also a rather large and tall teenager, was sleeping on his brother’s back, and Bruce couldn’t help but smile at the way all his sons seemed to always have to sleep close from each other in time of crisis and worries. 

But the crisis was avoided. The worries were gone. You were safe, and so was the baby...Well, Bruce was kidding himself if he thought that the worries were over. It was only starting, with his little girl about to start to grow up ! 

He walked to the crib and, there she was, eyes wide open, a tiny little bundle of curiosity...Already so curious, though she couldn’t really see anything. 

She reacted to his voice, and seemed to have decided already that her father’s voice would always be the thing that would soothe her the most. 

He took her in his arms, delicately, lovingly, tenderly, and with a small kiss on her forehead, he swore to her that he would always be there for her, that he would always be there...

-I love you so much already, my little one. I love you more than life itself. You’ll see, your brothers will too. They already are. And your mom...oh you lucky one, you have the most amazing mom ever, and I know she also already loves you so much...(Your daughter’s name), my child, my tiny baby girl, you are so loved, and though right now you’re too young to realize it, you’ll see one day. Welcome to the Wayne family, we’re not always the best, except for your mother and Alfred, but we’ll love you forever. 

Fin ?

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Are you disappointed ? You are disappointed aren’t you ? Oh my writing second parts to things always stress me out, cause what if it’s not good ? It’s probably not that great, I tried. ANYWAY.