#also absolutely *did not* mean for it to become even *remotely* that long lmao

[honeyedwordsandblades]

Was writing out tags on agothorn's post about Astarion/Tav and how Tav could've been another Sebastian if they had met Astarion before but I got pretty carried away and instead wrote not an essay but a whole goddamn novel??? And did u know Tumblr only lets you put 30 tags top on a post? (And it still wasn't enough, lmao whoops.)

So here are those tags, a bit reformatted to be a text post instead. Thank you in advance if you decide to go on this crazy ride of my dumb ramblings!

--

Honestly, I imagine when they get down there and see all the vampire spawn, all his previous targets/victims (and the other six's I'm sure), Rose immediately thinks back to the beginning of their journey together. Of the early days where she was so smitten and head over heels for Astarion, without really knowing him or his past.

And looking at all his past victims, all in front of her (especially with his interaction with Sebastian), she immediately realizes that if they had met another way, if they had met before the mindflayers kidnapped them all, she would have also been so easily manipulated and played. Lured just like the rest of his victims straight to Cazador. Like a lamb to slaughter. Like a fool lured straight off a cliff. And so happily too. So blissfully unaware and ignorant of her awaiting inevitable fate.

She knows, in that instant, if they had met before instead of when they did, she'd be down here with the rest of his victims. And, more than likely, afterward he would've just completely and entirely forgotten about her. Assumed her dead and had been done with it.

She wouldn't even be a ghost of a memory to haunt him for eternity, for the rest of his undead life. She'd been nothing to him.

(I'd like to believe that wouldn't be true though. He'd remember her just like he remembered Sebastian. Another poor innocent soul that, in their very short time together, she would have undoubtedly left quite the impression and mark upon him. He would always remember her. And, yes, she would absolutely haunt him for the rest of his undead life. Such a naive girl with such a big loving caring heart. How could he ever forget her? And her soft brown-hazel eyes and her lovely up-done brown hair. And the biggest smile he's ever seen. All just for him. Because of him. He'd never truly forget her. But I digress (too much). We're talking about Rose's point of view not Astarion's, lmao.)

She'd mean nothing to him as he found a way to usurp Cazador (if he was able to at all otherwise. But assuming if he did.) and would so easily and readily sacrifice her and all his and his "sibling's" victims in order to become the ~Vampire Ascendant~ .

Because she would mean nothing to him. Or, at least, (after seeing his panic and slight hesitation after talking to Sebastian) he would try to make himself believe that. Push away all the rising guilt suddenly trying to claw itself up from his dead heart and out his throat. Push it all down, hoping it would return from whence it came and just shut up and never return. That this is what he wants. What he's always wanted. (Right?)

And, after they speak with Sebastian, Rose would speak with Astarion personally. An argument as 'old as time' (i.e. as long as their relationship has been) started fresh and anew once more. About Astarion doing the ritual himself. And she would say in no uncertain bitter terms all that i've described above to him, to his face.

And maybe he's thought about it before. About how easy a target she would've been. How she would've been another poor lost soul. Gone. Disappeared into the night. Far from reach from family, from friends, from anyone and everyone. So easily snatched from her life. Not a trace of her to be found. Almost like she never existed. (But he would remember her. Gods, her smile. Her eyes. She would haunt him.)

But now, after seeing Sebastian, seeing all his victims in front of him... Discovering that they hadn't died and were very much (horribly) alive and undead, vampire spawn just like him and his 'siblings'. All of them connected to him, not just as his past victims, but through carved scars just like the one on his back. All for this grim infernal ritual where they would all be sacrificed (including himself if his plan to kill and usurp Cazador in the ritual didn't succeed).

But now presented with Rose's theoretical... To imagine her right alongside Sebastian and all his other victims, in just as terrible and poor a state as they are. And, instead of seeing her lovely brown-hazel eyes, being meet only with undead vampiric red burning straight into his soul... It instantly sends a chill down his spine. And it makes him sick to his stomach to even think, to even imagine such an image.

But Rose presses on, despite his reaction, despite the clear look of horror that passes on his face. And brings his imagination further. Spelling out as clear as she can exactly what her fate would end up being if she had been one of his victims. If he took up the ritual in Cazador's place- She would die. Right alongside all the other vampire spawn. They were meant for sacrifice after all. And that's the role they and, more importantly, she would serve.

He'd have everything. And she would be dead.

Sacrificed for the power he would then have.

He's too stunned to speak, but he knows what she's doing. Her manipulations are too obvious. But perhaps that's the point. She's not trying to manipulate him, she's trying to persuade him. Or better put, she's pleading. Begging him to see the terrible horror of the atrocity he's planning to commit. (As if he doesn't already know. As if he didn't know it all along. Although, admittedly, not at this scale. It was only 6 before, not 7,000.)

All by placing herself in the role of one of his victims.

And he has to admit: It's working.

He'll try to reason with her (twist and manipulate it back). That she's not. And, besides, he's doing it for both of them. So they can both be safe. With such power he can-

She huffs exasperated, disappointed. And she's already shaking her head. Somehow disbelieving that he's coming up with the same excuses as he always has.

But he knows they both heard his voice as he spoke. Quivering, uncertain. Clearly reaching, relying on old scripted justifications. But he still clings tightly to old hopes, old plans.

And, here and now, just before the end, just before the finale, is when she finally pulls out the ultimatum she's been mulling about for ages.

He must not go through with the ritual. If he does... She will ensure he never takes it.

She stares straight into his eyes as she tells him. Eyes (and heart) hardened. Walls up. Back straightened. Looking at him defiantly.

The look of a Hero.

He's only seen her do it a few times before but never to him. And now that she is... Now that he's on the other side of it. Well, he won't lie. A cold feeling of fear runs down his spine. He knows when she's like this that she means every word she says and will absolutely commit to it.

Before he can even speak, she softens, breaks. Pain written plainly across her face.

Ever so softly, she pleads with him not to go through with it (the ritual). She admits she doesn't want to, but she will- end him (What a nice way to say "kill him where he stands". Almost like she can't even bring herself to say it.) And he fully believes her.

Her earlier pleading, her theoretical, may have (deeply) shaken him, but this- This ultimatum... certainly gave him pause.

Although not as much as her next words.

"Please don't make me kill you."

Hushed, soft. An almost whisper that, well- metaphorically speaking, kills him on the spot. Like a stake to his undead heart.

The image of him beginning the ritual and her swinging her sword, one good ol' swing through his neck, his head suddenly gone enters his mind.

She would do it. He knows it.

Would he risk it? Attempt the ritual and, if he succeeds, if she doesn't chop off his head, beg for forgiveness? (Command her to forgive him even? He quickly pushes the thought from his mind.)

But staring into her pained, pleading eyes, her words still echoing in his mind like relentless ghosts haunting him, he knew his choice had been made.

Only a bit reluctantly does he promise her then and there that he would not go through with taking Cazador's place in the ritual. They would stop him and nothing more. Promise.

He can see that Rose is hesitant to believe him but she does relax some. Perhaps naively hoping that he had in fact come to his senses and was actually going to follow through with his promise. (After all, he's made promises before and kept them. Right?)

And he does.

(Although when he finally has the staff in his hands and he hesitates for just a small second, she's very kind to not bring up that moment later on.)

(And yes. She noticed. But after he continues on to save and free all the vampire spawns, both his siblings and those in the cells, she quickly forgets about it. All forgiven.)

[tolkpopfan]

Mouth foaming over these mental scenarios,

So, like, I had these ideas and they’re mostly comfort scenarios I imagine myself in, but I feel like they’re too good to NOT be used in fanfiction, and I’m not going to write it so I figured I’d donate them to someone who might want to make use of them. So here you go @blizzardfluffykpop

This is long, and this is not to be interpreted as a request, but rather as a donation for ideas to write if you so desire.

The alternating bold and regular distinguishes between separate scenarios

———

impulsively kissing someone and then being like “oh shit, I am so sorry. I should NOT have overstepped like that…” and then them being like “Is it really overstepping if I want you to do it again?”

“I’m not pretty… I mean, it’s not a bad thing, I don’t need to be pretty to be valid and deserve love, I’m just not what people generally consider attractive, and I’m okay with that.”

“But then what would you think of someone who did find you attractive??” (Very confused)

Laughing, “I don’t know, probably that their tastes are a bit odd.”

“Do I seem odd to you?” (This is like an indirect confession, feelings have not been expressed yet 🫣)

Rejecting a friend’s slightly drunk request for a kiss and saying that you don’t want your first kiss with someone who might not remember it the next day and might not even genuinely be meaning it. So you assume they’ve forgotten the next day and you put it behind yourself but then the next time you see them, they start acting awkward and say, “I don’t entirely remember what your answer was the other night but it was something about me being drunk… so I’m sober now, and I still want to know if you’d let me kiss you”

Getting intentionally bumped into at the work cafeteria by the group of mean girls while carrying food so nice white shirt is absolutely ruined and soaked thru (was imagining soup) and then running into work crush on way to bathroom to clean up who sees the situation and takes off and offers his flannel because he’s fine with just being in his t-shirt. And ruined white dress shirt becomes a blessing unbeknownst to him because oh my god wearing his flannel and it smells like him. Bonus points for mean girls seeing the flannel being worn lol. (also this was created in my head as company employee x idol/producer which would make more sense why he’s wearing a flannel but other people at the company being more formally dressed - could be smth else tho, also I’ve had varying continuations with this one when I came up with it a few years ago, some wholesome, some horny, so it can really go in any direction)

First ever boyfriend breaks up with you because after a little over a month, you’re still too nervous to get remotely physical with him for the first time and even though it wasn’t super serious yet, you’re still emotionally a wreck after being dumped. So, your friend who you won’t admit to yourself that you’re in love with is there for you in the weeks following your breakup. You almost begin to realize how safe and loved you feel with your friend but you think with all the interesting and beautiful people he happens to know that he could never be interested in you, and after a series of events you end up getting VERY physical with said friend who is in love with you too.

(Based loosely on a recent event I experienced) He’s five years older (I’m thinking of someone specific teehee lmao but it’s not essential to the story) and recently you were treated like a kid by someone (classmate/coworker/etc) not much older than him and it’s a painful reminder of the fact that due to certain mannerisms and behaviors, you sometimes come across as childish despite being just as mature as, if not more mature than your peers. And you try not to think of it too much but it affected you pretty strongly. You get stressed and snap at him for something minor he said or just about something in general and say something like “I’m still a fucking adult even if it doesn’t always seem like it!” And he’s kinda shocked but mostly worried about you and says smth like “do you think that’s how I see you?” And you’re crying because you don’t know and you’re afraid to find out. And he earnestly explains that it never occurred to him that someone would see you as anything other than intelligent and funny and interesting (a self indulgent fantasy, I know). And he decides to show you (romantically, sexually, etc, you decide) how he really sees you. (Could be not dating yet or established relationship)

———

Anyyyywayyyyy, this was probably too long to put in an ask so i just made a post. If you end up using these, great, if not, that’s cool too. But if you do use them, lmk, not because I care about credit or anything but because I would enjoy seeing someone else’s interpretation.

[sondepoch]

HC: MC is more flexible than them!

Perfection is certain. Perfection is solid. Perfection is the body of a demon or an angel, where there is no room (or need) for bones to crack and muscles to stretch. You and Solomon, though? You’re human. Not so “perfect” when compared to the other inhabitants of at RAD—but that just makes it all the more interesting when they finally see the way the human body can crack and bend

Word Count: 5.5k

SFW + mild descriptions of cracking body parts

Characters: All brothers + All Undateables + Luke

MASTERLIST

Lucifer

Instant panic mode

Man just learned that it’s possible for humans to break bones, so when he hears you casually crack your knuckles, he instantly assumes that all your fingers are broken

Finds it even more terrifying when you lean your head back and crack your neck 

Honestly, the look of sheer horror on his face would be terrifying if you didn’t find it so funny

Is actually super confused when he realizes that you’re 100% fine but will not lower himself to actually asking you about it. That is not the Lucifer way, and so this man instead decides to secretly binge Satan’s collection of human anatomy instead

But uh, he gets scarily into it

Seriously, you’re starting to get concerned when it’s been nearly two full weeks of Lucifer ignoring you to bury his nose in a book, eyebrows furrowing every goddamn time he finishes one, and still has no clue what that cracking sound is 

It’s only when you casually do it at the dinner table and Asmo cringes, complaining about how weird it is that humans get pockets of gas inside certain joints and they actually have to crack it out, to which all his brothers nod their head and cringe when you do it again, that he understands what it is

Has never been more relieved

He isn’t as disturbed by the sound as he was before, so it’s not as fun to tease him with it - but you can count on the fact that if you ever crack anything in his presence, he will pause whatever he’s doing to study you for a moment and make sure your face isn’t contorted in pain or anything

After all, he needs to be completely certain that you haven’t broken a bone

But someone help this man when he realizes how much more flexible humans are compared to demons

The first time you do a backbend in front of him, he actually flinches

Man can’t help but imagine himself in those poses - and no matter how sexy you look when you’re winking at him and stretching your body like it’s glue, his bones would have to be shattered to bits for him to do the same

Quietly asks you not to stretch yourself into such positions in his presence

On the bright side, you can shut him up in the middle of any lecture by “casually” stretching your arms back until the demon is so disturbed that he stops in the middle of his sentence and asks you to leave as soon as possible

All in all, not a big fan - but he can tolerate your antics (if only to save face)

But if you ever show him videos (or even pictures) of a contortionist, he may actually be scarred for the rest of his almost-eternal life

Mammon

Man really needs to learn how to knock

He barges into your room without warning, as usual, only to see you all but straddling the ground, legs spread wide apart as you lean to one side and touch your right toe

It’s the most basic human stretch there is - but it’s terrifying to Mammon

You don’t even get the chance to say hi to him before he’s lifted you onto your feet, pulling you up from under your arms, desperately asking why you weren’t screaming for help 

Cannot process the fact that you were actually in that position willingly, much less the notion that it felt remotely good

Of course, you respond to his obvious aversion by showing him all the other ways your body can bend, flopping onto your bed and bending your body into a perfect bridge position

Mammon’s screeches when he sees the arch your back makes

It lowkey gives him nightmares the next night

Also becomes very touchy after he sees you move your body around so comfortably

In his eyes, you’re now the equivalent of a giant teddy bear - and really, what are the differences, now? He uses you for cuddles and hugs, can seemingly bend your body in any way and you’ll bounce back, and your skin is so soft compared to the hardness of his own body

Man actually grows used to your body after a while, holding a strange fascination for the way you can move

Begins to think that it’s cool when you show him how you can crack your knuckles and such

Absolutely makes use of the fact that some of his other brothers hate the sound, casually walking up to them with you by his side and asking them (while you crack your knuckles) to forgive his debts

Works 90% of the time

The 10% when it doesn’t work, though, he gets into trouble

In his free time, though, he actually likes lying with you and trying to figure what other body parts you can crack

Courtesy of Mammon, you learn that you can crack your hip if you stretch at a certain angle

(Bonus:) He one day tries to stretch his body the way you stretch yours and does a basic hamstring stretch on the ground, trying to touch his toes, but the exertion is too much for his inflexible body and he sort of locks a joint, so he’s left on the floor for nearly half an hour until you find him in his room and help him out of it

(Bonus bonus:) After his trauma from the above incident, he immediately goes back to assuming that you’re in great pain every time he sees you do a particularly difficult stretch and instantly lifts your body out of the position, no matter how you protest and say that you’re fine

Leviathan

"What a normie”

That’s the only reaction you get when you crack your knuckles in front of him, eager to see what he’ll do after realizing how much it disturbs his other brothers

Needless to say, you’re disappointed by his utter nonchalance

But that’s only because you have no clue what happens to Levi when he runs to his room and closes his door, jumping into his bathtub with a shook expression on his face

“Oh my god!” He squeals. “iT wAs LiKE iN tHe aNImES”

Nah, fr tho

Man has seen more than enough human-world shows which feature characters cracking their knuckles before getting down to work, so he’s pretty familiar with the concept

Like many things in anime, he was only 60% sure that it was real

But you actually did it

And it was in real life

Man is practically fanboying over a perfectly normal phenomenon

While you’re sitting in the living room, thinking that he was utterly unfazed by it :(

But when the two of you have a whole year to spend together under the same roof, it’s honestly inevitable that the truth comes out

“You like it?” You ask, pure confusion settling over your faces. After all, he’s the first of the brothers to not be utterly horrified by your little habit

“N-no!” Levi shouts, hiding his face. “I mean, maybe...just a little...sort of...but not in the normie way!”

Boi is too cute for his own good

Of course, you humor him and proceed to crack every single joint you can think of, sending a wink Levi’s way 

It would be so easy to tease him, wouldn’t it? To mess with him and call him strange, to compare to his brothers and remind him that you’re not an anime character - and that anime is, in fact, based on humans, so it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that humans could crack their knuckles the way he’s seen online

But, he’s too precious. And too cute. And he’s too adorable, staring at you with that utterly captivated expression, so you can’t help but humor him again, asking if he wants to see some of the other differences between humans and demons

And when you show him how you can bend your body, man is shook all over again

He 100% thought that the absurd stretches (like a split? how preposterous) were merely fabrications of animation - flourishes added in by animators to make the visuals more interesting

But seeing you move like that? And when you show him the other stuff?

Congratulations. Boi is officially convinced that humans are more interesting that anime can ever be.

Satan

One of the few demons who was already familiar with the fact that humans are ridiculously flexible and can crack nearly everything in their body 

He was actually the one to approach you about it

“Stretch for me, human.”

Or well, the same thing but in less blunt words

Actually invites you to have tea with him where he first broaches the subject, confirming that you'll be fully comfortable with everything he wants to study

Lmao man really arranges to have a safe word in case he pushes you too far

Once you’ve agreed to letting him study how the human body can bend and crack, the two of you set a time and meet up in his room (and yes, he does clear his books out of the way to make room for you)

And so the stretching begins

It actually feels quite awkward at first with Satan showing you pictures from human world yoga books and asking you to mimic them, taking notes in a book on everything 

Gets really excited when he realizes that your flexibility is a function of how often you stretch, and once he realizes that you’re able to go a little farther each day, he becomes lowkey obsessed with finding out whether there's a limit or not

Boi may or may not secretly try to stretch in his own room in case demons are just naturally less flexible and need to stretch regularly to become like humans

Also almost breaks his arm attempting that, so he never tries it again

The whole ordeal fits itself into your routine after long enough: after school, you go to Satan’s room and do yoga while he jots down notes on how your body moves, and after everything is done the two of you have tea

Satan never touches you while you’re stretching for fear that he’ll physically push you into something uncomfortable, but when you explain that certain positions are easier to hold if someone helps, he’ll definitely try to be a helping hand

He starts out really tentatively, hesitant that he’ll be too strong and will push you to the floor or something, but he’s pleasantly surprised to find that humans are more resilient than he’d initially thought

After his notebook is filled with notes and he’s suitably convinced that all his questions are sated, he’ll express his gratitude and tell you that you don’t need to continue 

But if you tell him that you’ve been enjoying your time together, man will 100% clear that space in his room permanently, so that you can spend time there together while Satan asks you calming questions about your day and you stretch the tension of the day out of your muscles

Asmodeus

Jelly boi

Nah but fr

Man couldn’t care less about your ability to crack your knuckles and neck - if anything, he finds the habit to be irritating

But boi is jealous when he sees how easily you can bend your body and stretch into positions that even he can’t

Obviously, his mind is in the gutter when he’s thinking about the way your body can bend - but he’s equally furious of the fact that human skin is so much softer than demon skin

Like, yes. Most demons have near-perfect skin because of its taut texture - and yes, that gives them the illusion of perfection

But human skin, blemished as it is, is like a teddy bear next to a rock when compared to demon skin

And obviously Asmo’s skin is softer than everyone else’s (this man is NOT skimping out when it comes to his skincare routine), but it infuriates him that his skin isn’t as soft as yours 

Of course, man bounces back quicker than anyone else (as expected)

He grows content with the texture of his own skin the moment he realizes how easily penetrable human skin is - namely when he’s doing homework with you and he sees your skin get sliced open by paper, of all things (man nearly chokes when he learns that this is a regular occurrence for humans)

But he never quite loses his fixation for the human body

It’s highkey the reason why he likes touching you so much - your skin is softer than some Devildom blankets! If he could fall asleep with your arms wrapped around him every night, he absolutely would

But he won’t genuinely request that of you unless you explicitly offer, so he’ll settle for simply hugging you at every opportunity

Ofc, the moment he grows content with the texture of his skin, he’s jealous of your flexibility all over again, so it’s kind of nuts

You eventually have to sit him down and tell him all the downfalls of being able to bend yourself into awkward positions (ex: getting stuck in said position or causing a cramp) for him to finally be content with his own body once more

The moment he’s back to normal, all the usual flirtatious jokes come back and he’s offering to let you show him the ways your body can bend

You deny instantly

But if he ever takes you to a club and has the opportunity to dance with you, do a body roll

Man will get on his knees if that’s what it takes to have you do it again

And then he’ll whisk you off to his room, stubbornly ignoring his brother’s protests, declaring that he needs to “reeducate” himself in the art of dance, and that you’re going to be his teacher

And hey - give him a private show while you’re at it ;)

Beelzebub

The first time you crack your knuckles in front of him, he’s eating

Man doesn’t really register it, just assumes that he bit something crunchy 

The second time you do it, it’s in his and Belphie’s room - and Belphie is taking a nap

Man gets a little suspicious, because the sound definitely came from your end, but he dismisses it and decides that the sound must have been a hitch in Belphie’s breathing

But the third time, the two of you are alone

And Beel’s protective instincts come rushing to the surface when he realizes that you really are the one making that sound

“Are you dying?”

First question, no matter what. Man has heard of medical conditions that cause bones to become brittle and crumbly, so he needs to know

Then again, he won’t really believe you when you tell him the truth

“You can...crack stuff at will?”

beelisconfuzzled.exe 

You have to show him methodically, portion by portion, which of your body parts you can crack

He isn’t disturbed by the sound (he’s eaten things which sound much worse, he can assure you) but man is intrigued

(”But how?” He’ll inevitably ask, struggling to yank his own knuckles off in an attempt to crack them and get that feeling of satisfaction you kept talking about)

All in all,he has a decent reaction - probably one of the only people who won’t overreact about the information

But then the fateful day comes

And he cracks your back

It happens while he’s giving you a big bear hug, proud of you after you came running to tell him about a good grade you got in Devildom Literature - and he places his palm on your back in just the right area, pressing down as he hugs you

And pop

Man is so mortified, he almost drops you

You, on the other hand, cannot be more pleased with this development

“Again! Again!” You shout, trying to get him to repeat the action - but while Beel loves hugging you, cracking your back is something he’s not willing to risk

“It’s okay when you do it, because you know how much your back can take” is his biggest argument. "But I don't."

And unfortunately, calling him a chicken won’t work when you try to convince him otherwise :(

What will work, however, is convincing Beel that this can be a sort of strength training - because he needs to have full control of his body to do it right

He’ll agree to do it once (mainly because you’ve been begging for so long)

But, obviously, “once” means as many times as you want, from there on out ;)

Belphegor

It’s one of the few times where Belphie isn’t in tune with his brother

And he hates it

He doesn’t understand how Beel isn't disturbed by the sound - every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a shudder straight down Belphie’s spine

And it’s not the ick factor taking place. It’s just that Belphie can’t help that his mind wanders to darker places whenever you do something like that, the sound abruptly reminding him of his time in the Celestial War and all the awful things he heard there

Like others, the sound reminds him of how weak you really are

And so, if you ever crack your knuckles around him, expect him to leave instantly

He’s the one brother who will never learn to tolerate it - not when he can remove himself from the situation so easily

And honestly, it’s kind of amazing how sharp his ears are

Is he taking a nap on your lap? If you think you can subtly crack anything without his eyes shooting open, you’re wrong

Is he preparing dinner with you in the kitchen? Nope, the sound of boiling water will not cover the sound of your body stretching too far, and Belphie will shoot you a glare before swiftly exiting the room

Is he simply doing homework with you in the RAD library? You’d think that the sound of chatter from the table next to you would hide the noise you make when you subtly lean back to crack your back, but Belphie is gathering his things mere seconds later, huffing and muttering under his breath

So yeah

Not a fan

On the other hand, he loves how accommodating your body is in terms of how flexibly you are

It brings him great joy, honestly, to just watch you flop your arms around aimlessly because humans’ movements are so fluid, so smooth, so unhindered by the rigid joints of demons

And, obviously, your flexibility makes for better naps

He likes to sleep next to you with his arms wrapped around your waist while you latch onto him in whatever position you deem comfortable

Without a doubt, the position you find is something that would be wholly impossible for a demon (how are you bending your legs that much?!) and it sometimes scares him to realize the full extents of your flexibility (can all humans twist their arms like that, or is it just you?) but he loves that you use your body’s oddities to pull him closer

And he’ll never deny you a comfortable nap if you’re willing to cuddle so readily

Never

Unless you crack your knuckles, that is

Solomon

Life is war and cracking body parts is your only weapon

Aka nonstop competitions between you and our resident wizard boy, both of you cracking body parts back and forth until one of you either fails or runs out of things to crack

Knuckles? Come on, are you even trying? Give him something less basic

Back? Oh yeah. Both sides, too - and the loud ones

Hips? You didn’t think it was possible, but Solomon will look you in the eye and hit one side of his hip, the movement a prelude to an instant CRACK which rings out oh-so-gloriously from the other end

Ribs? You realized you could crack them once and never stopped - you’re actually the one to teach Solomon how to do this

Neck? Always the finisher. So loud, and so satisfying

Neither the House of Lamentation nor Purgatory Hall ever wants to have the two of you over at the same time, because the residents know that you and Solomon will have these competitions. And they absolutely hate it.

So what do you do?

Go to the library and disturb the demons there, of course

It actually becomes a pretty sick form of payback to all the annoying demons that look down on the two of you for being humans, because they always cringe so hard when you guys do this

The two of you have deduced that the sound of knuckles cracking is the demon equivalent to the sound of nails on a chalkboard

And you fucking run wild with it

No one wants to piss either of you off, because you’ll both glare at the demon in question and proceed to crack every body part known to mankind (like seriously - it’s reached the point where you guys can crack your TOES, and if that isn’t absolutely amazing, then you don’t know what is)

It actually highkey annoys the demons in your classes, because you guys always crack everything right before an exam and while it helps you focus better, it effectively ruins their concentration

Ofc you guys don’t really care so they can suck it

But uh

Okay so the demons at RAD may or may not get fed up of you both one day and petition for Diavolo to instate a “No cracking body parts” rule in school

So yeah your primary source of entertainment sort of disappears after that point

But no worries, you and Solomon head to the downtown shopping districts instead and become the BEST hagglers in town

“Hey, can we get these shirts on a discount? Huh? You don’t do discounts? 

*Aggressively cracks everything until the demon just wants them out of the store*

“How about now BICH?”

Simeon

You’re actually not the one to introduce Simeon to the idea of humans being able to crack their body parts at will

No, it’s Solomon who steals that pleasure from you

But will Simeon ever let the sorcerer know just how much it unnerves him? Absolutely not. So what does our beloved angel do?

Why, there’s only one option

Come running straight to you.

Man is disturbed. Honestly, disturbed is phrasing it lightly. If he were in his angel form, you’d be able to see how his feathers ruffle and flutter at the very thought of that sound

Needless to say, he hates it

(You 100% consider cracking your knuckles in front of him, just to tease him, but you decide against it)

See, Simeon is an angel. And that means 99% of the time, he’s surrounded by other holy spirits, all of which have bodies molded to perfection that simply cannot crack the way yours can. Whereas demons are forced into human interaction a little more (oft when they're summoned), Simeon really isn’t used your fragility, no matter how much he tries to remind himself of it

So yeah

He hates it

On the other hand - man loves how flexible humans are

The first time you flop down onto your bed, assuming a position that would be impossible for any demon or angel to take but is deemed “comfortable” by you, Simeon is enraptured

It’s not sexual, he just thinks it’s really amazing that you have so much control over your body when he can hardly do a standing glute stretch without breaking a limb

It’s almost funny, his fixation

Actually no - it’s not almost funny. It is wholly and completely hilarious, and you will not stop leading him further down this rabbit hole

When you send this man picture of an contortionist, he’s utterly mesmerized

Show him human ballet, and he will not stop watching it

So yeah

He appreciates parts of the human body, hates others - but as long as you never crack your muscles in front of him, he’s down

Also - after you’ve thoroughly interested him in the art of being a human, he may just write about it in his next book. If you read the next set of chronicles detailed by Christopher Peugeot, you already know who the “feisty but good-hearted human who can bend themselves into a pretzel” is based on

(Bonus: Do a body roll in front of him and he might faint - man knew the human body could but like that? You might just have corrupted an angel)

Luke

“So...cool...!”

Boi loves it

He cheers you on like a champ, laughing merrily as you crack your knuckles into oblivion, scaring away the other residents in Purgatory Hall

And no matter how many times Simeon warns him not to urge you on (”The human already has no sense of self-preservation, and you don’t need to help that along,” he said), Luke can’t help but watch with excited eyes as you show him how different the human body is

He’s almost like Levi with his ardent admiration, and he honestly finds nothing disturbing about the sound of you cracking knuckles

Just finds it cool

It actually serves as a catalyst for his relationship with Solomon, because Luke will 100% go up to him and ask him whether he can crack his body like you, and obviously, the man will laugh and prove that centuries of knowledge have made him better than the average human - even in this area

But yeah

You can really see his inner child come out

(Though don’t say that last part out loud - he’ll ignore you for three days in an attempt to be “mature” before you convince him to accept your apology)

But really - he may be the only person who can not only tolerate the quirks of your body, but openly endorses all of them

On the downside, though, he’ll also try to crack his knuckles...which won’t bode too well, given that his body was built to perfection by God

Boi almost rips his finger off

Simeon proceeds to instate a no-cracking-knuckles rule within Purgatory Hall to discourage any further attempts from Luke

But you know what he didn’t ban?

Backflips.

It doesn’t matter if you can or you can’t do them - Luke will happen to see a video of a human doing one (ahem, Solomon showed him it in an attempt to stir up trouble), and now he’s begging you to do the same thing in real life

Which doesn’t work out too well, given that backflips are hard

And you may not be successful 100% of the time

And obviously, Simeon eventually finds out that the two of you have moved onto a new fixation, and so he instate the no-backflips-in-Purgatory-Hall rule

But you know what he didn’t ban? 

Cartwheels.

And so it continues on and on, indefinitely because the only way to cease your and Luke’s shenanigans would be to ban humans in Purgatory Hall, and Solomon is thankfully preventing him from doing that

Barbatos

Hates it, hates it, hates it

More than any of the brothers, more than any of the angels - this man loathes every oddity of the human body that makes it different from a demon’s

But not for the reasons you’d expect

See, it’s not the sound that bothers Barbatos

No, he’s heard the screams of the damned before. You cracking a few measly knuckles hardly makes him flinch as he pours your tea

But what Barbatos does hate is the fact that he doesn’t know what it means

Every single time you crack a knuckle in his presence, it doesn’t matter if the prince himself is speaking, because Barbatos’s eyes will fly straight to you

And yes - you guessed it:

Barbatos can’t tell the difference between the sound of you cracking your knuckles and the sound of you breaking a bone.

And for that reason, he hates it

It’s hardly his fault - he doesn’t even know if there is a difference between the two sounds. But this butler has no faith in you and no faith in humanity as a whole, so every time you crack your knuckles, it sends a rush of worry straight to his stomach, and the demon has to watch you for a solid ten seconds to make sure that you haven’t actually hurt yourself

Poor man

He’s the kind of guy to take everything in stride, so he'll probably never tell you how much he hates it when you crack your knuckles (and honestly, what would he say? “Hi, can you please stop cracking your knuckles because I care about you and it makes me concerned for your health???” No, that’s not going to work. And he doesn't know what will work, so he suffers in silence)

Seeing you stretch is even worse

It can be a casual stretch, simply pulling your arms above your head just slightly beyond what would be physically possible for a normal demon, but it sends a chill to Barbatos’s heart, and he’s worried all over again

See, when you crack your knuckles, at least it’s over. But when you stretch? Sometimes you hold your position for a minute, if not more - and Barbatos simply can’t turn away because he’s terrified that he will, and you’ll somehow hurt yourself

So yeah

No rest for this butler, not as long as you’re going around with that weak body of yours and are cracking and stretching your way into oblivion

On the bright side, it means that he’s almost always watching over you when you visit, an added layer of protection 

The only difference is that while the others are focused on protecting you from other demons, Barbatos is preoccupied with making sure you don’t hurt yourself

Diavolo

Timing is everything

And indeed, you just happen to be in the midst of cracking your knuckles and neck the moment you’re transported to the Devildom, every single one of the most powerful demons in the land staring at you in horror as your body pops some more

"Oh no,” Diavolo whispers, frowning as he looks at Barbatos. “We got a defective human :(”

Nevermind the insult you feel at his words (who does this strange, unfairly-attractive redhead think he is, calling you “defective???” He might be correct in his judgement, but he had no right to voice his thoughts!), you are shook

Definitely not the best first impression for either of you to make

Of course, Lucifer is quick to pick things up with his explanation of what this place is and who he is, and the whole situation is mostly forgotten as you come to realize that you’re standing in front of a literal prince

But the past has a way of resurfacing

And obviously, several months later, you crack your knuckles once more in the presence of the demon lord

The immediate wince on his face is more than enough for you to read his mind

“You’re thinking I’m defective again, aren’t you?”

“YOU REMEMBER THAT?!”

Poor bby

He’s honestly such a brilliant ruler, but when it comes to maneuvering the minds of humans, it’s just not his strong suit

Anyway, the two of you have a long talk (aka you rant and Diavolo listens) where you explain to him that cracking knuckles is a normal phenomenon, and that - look, you can even crack other parts of your body

And the prince is fascinated

He knew humans were built differently than demons, but he’d simply assumed that your body was just as perfect as his, and that yours could simply handle less extreme conditions

Clearly, though, that wasn’t the case

Man decides that, as the ruler of hell and the man spearheading efforts to unite the three realms, it is his moral obligation to learn about the other ways humans differ from demons

And so the shenanigans begin

It’s honestly time-consuming, but Lucifer doesn’t mind because if you’re with Diavolo, you’re out of trouble, and Barbatos doesn’t mind because if Diavolo’s with you, then he’s out of trouble

All in all, it becomes the prelude to a LOT of time spent together, and a LOT of differences between demons and humans come to light. 

Aka various iterations of “What do you mean, humans can’t bite through steel?”

[makeste]

i don't get it tbh. the apology shouldn't have been here. it was in the middle of everything and it had basically no impact on deku whatsoever? this was sooooo no what i was expecting and tbh i'm kinda mad about it ngl lol also ngl times twice but if whatever ochaco says does reach him instead of the kacchan apology that's been built up as the emotional climax for the entire series i'm just flat out gonna drop this manga lmao. but this was barely an emotional climax at all, i really don't get it

2/2 like we get just a few pages? shoved in there like "okay everyone talked now kacchan disappears from the chapter, that's over and done with, moving on" the apology itself was great, but the placement and brevity undermined its emotional resonance. deku remains the exact same after hearing it, doesn't think about katsuki at all. just about his earlier "can't keep up" words? then we go on to ochaco whose "saving heroes even though that's what everyone has been doing" i guess is more important?

3/3 (last one promise) like i'm sorry but there was time for several chaps of endeavor ugly crying, for mineta's anal beads and pervy romantic trope non-confession, for overhaul to pop up being his usual piece of shit self for no plot-relevant reason, for adult top heroes to stand around for chapters like "huh everything we're doing is awful. let's keep on trusting this smelly kid" and. a few panels for kacchan apology. no reaction. shoved among "idk u well mido but stay!" + ochaco making faces

4/4 (i lied) and all this after katsuki's distress and emotions were once more made into jokes at the hospital, emotional consequences of the war ignored, w all might probably dying and the last thing he did to this kid was ditch him leaving us to guess he maybe gives a shit abt him and maybe he bothered to visit in the hospital cuz they sure didn't show shit. i honestly feel like all katsuki stuff was shoved into the background: krbk friendship for mina, dkbk for ofa, name reveal for jokes...

okay, so I have talked in the past about fandom reacting like Miette whenever this stuff happens, and tbh this is basically what I mean by that anon. there is no reason whatsoever to assume that this is the one and only reaction we'll ever get from Deku regarding the apology and that it will never come up again. this is 100% going to be revisited. and tbh I think it's a smart move on Horikoshi's part, because if he gave us everything in this one chapter then what further development would there be to look forward to? he's gotta hold something back so that we have that one last milestone to anticipate in the rebuilding of their relationship. I've often said that for me me, Deku and Kacchan's story is the most important part of BnHA. and so it makes sense to me for Horikoshi to not completely resolve it until close to the end of the series, if not the very end.

I think this is a pretty good compromise honestly, because I wasn't even sure if we were going to get the apology itself before the finale. but this way we can head into the final battle with Kacchan having put all of his character development out there and not holding anything back, and it's nice to have that, and to have that reinforcement of just how far he's come, and how serious he is about his atonement. and so his feelings are finally all on the table now, and now it's all Deku.

and he deserves to have some time to work out how he feels about this and not be put on the spot to deliver a reaction, honestly. but to say it had "no impact whatsoever" is a huge overreaction imo. first of all, we saw the shock on his face -- he was absolutely floored. this was something he clearly never expected from Kacchan (which is why it was so important for Kacchan to actually say the words, in addition to taking action as he's already done -- because Deku needed to hear them, because he genuinely had no idea that Kacchan actually cared. and he deserves to know that, because Kacchan is one of the most important people in the world to him). not to mention that Deku kind of has a million other things on his mind right now. like we just had a whole entire arc about that lol. the apology isn't supposed to be for Kacchan's benefit; it's supposed to be for Deku's. so let him have the time to absorb it before he settles on what to say. Kacchan had all the time in the world to figure out his part of it, after all.

to me this is like a promise that there will be at least one last great, emotional, and deeply personal moment between the two of them. because when Deku finally does forgives him -- not that he hasn't already, imo, but once they finally have that conversation -- that shit is going to be so fucking cathartic, and tbh I'm glad Horikoshi didn't try to cram that into this chapter along with everything else that's currently going on. besides, I'd rather see that part of their reconciliation happen once Deku is more back to his normal self again; I feel like it would be more meaningful that way. right now he's too exhausted to be able to come up with any words. but he already has shown the best possible reaction I could have ever hoped for -- complete and utter relief and trust. Kacchan is the person he trusted enough that he could finally let go of his fears and anxieties -- if only for a moment -- and give into his exhaustion at long last, and that moment where he collapses and Kacchan runs to catch him has instantly become one of my favorites in the whole series.

so yeah, my apologies anon, but absolutely nothing is gonna spoil that for me, and I can't join you here in being even remotely disappointed with this chapter. well aside from the lack of hug lol (but I can be patient for that as well).

[homoose]

Weird is Good

Summary: A story about two people tryna make it through the age of COVID-19 in a country where people are fucking dumb lmao. My hc is that Spencer would be like wtf at all these science-denying anti-maskers. Also, two teachers just tryna make it through quarantine and remote teaching in a one bedroom apartment (this is taking place during a mandatory leave/lecture cycle).

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Category: fluff

Warnings/Includes: no warnings. reader is both a kindergarten teacher and a bruh girl with a pirate’s mouth. lots of Spencer x factz.

Word count: 3.1k

———

“We’re home for the next two weeks. ”

Spencer looked up from his desk to see Y/N kicking off her shoes, dropping her bag, and walking directly to the sink. “Starting when?”

“We get to go in on Monday to say goodbye to the kids and get any materials we might need. Then we’re home for two weeks. They’re calling it an early, extended spring break.” Y/N began her hand washing routine. As a kindergarten teacher, she’d always been a strict hand-washer. In the time of COVID, she had only become more zealous. She looked at Spencer. “Have you heard anything?”

“Since we’re so close to the end of the semester, the department head thinks they’ll try to finish out the year as normal.” He set down his pen. “I honestly don’t know. It will all depend on whether people follow the CDC guidelines. The spread of any virus is deducible mathematically, and SARS-COV2 is no different. Based on the outbreak in Italy prior to their lockdown, we can accurately describe its reproductive number, or Rt, to between 2.43 – 3.10.”

Y/N shut off the water and dried her hands on a paper towel. “In layman's terms, Dr. Reid.”

“The Rt tells how many people are infected by the contagious host,” he explained. “In the case of this strain, each infected person is infecting between two and three others. For comparison, the standard seasonal flu has an average Rt between 1.4 and 1.7.”

“So in other words, fucking yikes,” Y/N groaned. She moved to perch on the edge of Spencer’s desk.

“Indeed,” Spencer agreed. “We know how fast the flu can travel through an office or a classroom, so imagine if it was two times as transmissible. But it's also really important to understand that this number changes depending on the mitigations in place. Even prior to full lockdown, mask wearing and social distancing was somewhat common in Italy, so it’s likely the uncontrolled Rt is higher.”

“Jesus Christ.” Y/N scrubbed a hand over her face. “We’ll probably never go back.”

Spencer rubbed his hand up from her ankle to the inside of her knee. “The good news is there’s nothing special about this virus compared to others in terms of how it spreads— it’s just aerosols. So if everyone wears their mask, we’ll be able to keep the spread low.”

⧭⧭⧭

“It’s safe to say that everyone did not wear their fucking masks,” Y/N snapped. She watched from the couch as Mayor Bowser delivered the news that DC Public Schools would remain closed for the remainder of the year. “This is crazy. I mean, I knew it was coming because people in this country are absolute buffoons.” She looked at Spencer, fingers pressed to her temple. “But holy shit, are we ever going to be able to go outside again?”

“With schools and universities closed, people working remotely, and lockdown orders in place, the Rt in the US could stay low. But masks have to be worn at all times, and social distancing has to be strictly followed.” Spencer pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “I just— I can’t believe people are refusing to wear masks. The empirical, peer-reviewed data clearly shows—”

“This is ‘Murica, boy.” Y/N mocked. “Ain’t no tyrannical government gonna tell me what to do!” She rolled her eyes. “Trust me, your choice to abstain from social media is paying dividends to your sanity right now.”

Spencer looked truly dumbfounded, setting his newspaper down in his lap. “But that’s just it. It’s not just in social media circles.” He gestured to the article in front of him. “This economist just argued for ‘reopening’ the economy using the justification of herd immunity. Herd immunity can be a plausible option for less lethal diseases. But this virus is not like varicella—the chickenpox,” he clarified at Y/N’s raised eyebrow. He waved his hands around in exasperation. “Putting aside the fact that one facet of herd immunity is vaccinating as many people as possible, its success completely hinges on the Rt of a disease. If you model a population based on an Rt of 2.5, herd immunity wouldn’t be achieved until approximately sixty percent of the population has been infected. Consider that the US population is currently 328 million, and sixty percent of that is 196.8 million. The current mortality rate for SARS-COV2 is 3.06 percent. 196,800,000 multiplied by 0.0306 is 6,022,080. Over six million people would die. It's simple mathematics.”

Y/N let out an exasperated breath. “It used to be that simple math and facts were enough. Now you’ve got basement scientists who think they know better than actual, literal scientists who’ve spent their entire lives studying these things.” She ran a hand over her face and gestured at the news conference still playing. “How long do you think it’ll be before we’re both trying to teach from this tiny ass living room?”

⧭⧭⧭

“Goooooooood morning, kindergarten! It’s Friday, and no Friday is a bad Friday!” Spencer smiled. As he poured his first cup of coffee, he hummed along with Y/N and 23 six-year-olds as they sang their morning song. Observing fourteen days of remote kindergarten from across the living room had given Spencer a new appreciation for elementary school teachers, particularly Y/N. She sang, danced, conducted science experiments, held puppet shows, read stories, led art projects, and fielded questions for four hours a day— three hours less than when they were in the school building. He was exhausted by proxy.

But he was also grateful for the opportunity to watch Y/N in her element. Even though they were at home, she still got dressed every day in bright, patterned sweaters and dresses— her Ms. Frizzle attire, she’d told him once. She was able to channel her personality into a kid-friendly version that her students clearly adored, never afraid to be silly or strange to get their attention and keep them engaged during the long days. He worked from home whenever possible, strangely happy to have the background noise of kindergarten over his quiet university office.

...

“Okay, but where do I put the biiiiiiiiiiiig number?” Y/N made a wide gesture with her arms. “Ariah, where should I put it? In the big box, yes! But oh no, my small number needs a friend. My three is soooooo lonely!” Y/N drew her mouth into a pout. “DJ, how can I help my three not be so sad? You’re absolutely right, let’s put that two right next to him in our number bond.”

…

“I’ve been waitin’  for a girl to mute,” Y/N sang into the gold karaoke mic. “I said, muuuuuuuuuute, I’m blinded by loud sounds. No, I can’t hear the friend who’s tryin’ to talk.”

…

“Oh boy. Kev, honey, we can— we can see you. Kevin, Kevin, Kevin. We can see all of you. I can’t turn your camera off, buddy. You gotta— there we go.”

…

“Mute please, I need— I need everybody to mute, please. Oh my goodness where is that music coming from?” Y/N frantically searched for her index card with the picture of the mute icon, as the sounds of a highly inappropriate song blared through the computer speaker. “I know it’s so loud, guys. Why is my mute power gone?! This is why we need to make sure we keep our mute button on, kindergarten.”

…

“No sweetie, it’s not time to log off yet. I’m sorry, I know it’s such a long day. We have about an hour left. Do you guys wanna do a countdown? It’s the fin-al count-down! Do-do doo dooooo. Do-do-d-do-dooo…”

…

“Annnnnd, I should see all my friends on mute. William, hang on just a second. All my friends need to look at my picture, it’s an oval with a line through it… Okay, William, what did you bring to show us?” Y/N leaned toward the computer screen. “Grandma Kathy? O-oh, she’s— she’s in the—“ Y/N’s eyes widened. “Is that— is that an urn? Oh wow. Um, well, wow. It’s beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing that with us, William. Grandma Kathy, may she rest in peace.”

⧭⧭⧭

A week into Y/N teaching kindergarten from their living room, the university had announced its transition to online coursework for the remainder of the academic year. Spencer had to host his first zoom lecture, and he was absolutely dreading it.

“Spence, it’s going to be fine. It’s not like you’ve never been on a video conference,” Y/N assured him. She sat cross-legged on the couch, waiting for him to let her in to his practice zoom.

“Yeah, but I wasn’t running those meetings. I just showed up.” He squinted at the computer screen. “Are you in?”

Y/N barely resisted the urge to make a joke, knowing that Spencer probably wouldn’t appreciate the innuendo. “No, you have to admit me.”

“What do you mean? How do I do that?”

“There should be a box with a button that says admit.”

Spencer gestured at the computer. “Well there’s a bunch of boxes— which one should I be looking at?”

Y/N sighed and got up from the couch. “IQ of 187 and can’t find the box.”

Spencer dragged a hand through his hair. “I know I shouldn’t find this so difficult. I’m sorry you have to waste your time on this.”

“Hey, it was a joke.” Y/N grabbed his hand from where he was frustratedly pulling on his frazzled curls. “I’m sorry. That was mean and you’re already stressed enough.” She used her free hand to smooth his hair back into place. She scrunched her nose. “I love you and your limited technology skills. And honestly it’s kind of nice to have one thing I can actually teach you about.” She squeezed his hand, leaning over him to peer at his computer screen. “All right, let’s find that elusive admit button.”

When the day of his lecture rolled around, Spencer thanked all the atoms in the observable universe that Y/N had a break during his class. Within the first ten minutes, he’d managed to accidentally kick himself out of his own meeting and then somehow lose track of the screenshare button.

“No one can see me and I don’t know what happened to the screenshare option. It was there and now it’s just… gone,” he told Y/N.

She leaned over his desk, eyes tracking over the screen and mouse clicking around the desktop. “How in the world did you manage to block your camera?”

“I don’t know! I didn’t even touch it!” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I don’t understand how it’s even possible to be this bad at this.”

Y/N bumped his knee with her own, pulling up his camera settings and preferences. “Relax. You can’t be good at everything. It’s a refreshing reminder that you’re a mere mortal like the rest of us.” With a few rapid clicks, Y/N unblocked his camera and located the screenshare bar. “There. Crisis averted. I’m just going to share your whole screen in case you want to toggle between application windows. So just be aware that they’ll be able to see everything. And then you just click here when you’re ready to stop sharing.”

When Y/N turned her head toward him to check that he understood, Spencer grabbed the side of her face and caught her lips in a kiss. Y/N smiled against his mouth, heart speeding up as he traced the seam of her mouth with his tongue.

“Um, Dr. Reid? Your um— your camera’s working now.”

Spencer nearly fell out of his chair, his cheeks about the color of the Leave Meeting icon. Y/N dropped her head, debating whether she wanted to laugh or let the earth open up and swallow her whole. She ultimately decided to compose herself, stepping back and giving a little wave to the sea of tiny, grinning zoom faces before slinking out of frame, miming sorry to one very mortified professor.

⧭⧭⧭

“Would you want to be our mystery reader next week?” Y/N asked, bookmarking the page of her novel and reclining back in bed. “You just have to pick a story to read. Oh, and think of four clues about your identity to give the kiddos.”

Spencer raised his eyebrow, continuing to read. “Any story?”

Y/N laughed. “Well they’re six, so maybe hold off on the Chaucer and Bradbury for now. A picture book would be preferable.”

“Did you know that the first picture book, Orbis Sensualium Pictus, or Visible World in Pictures, was published in 1658?” He looked up from his own book. “Czech educator John Amos Comenius wanted to create a book that would be accessible to children of all levels of ability. The educational theories he explored are actually still in practice in the field of early childhood education.” He turned toward her from his spot under the covers. “For example, when you have your students make a hissing sound and slither their arms when they produce the sound represented by the letter s? Comenius included an alphabet chart with various animal and human sounds representing each letter. He wanted to demonstrate that the incorporation of multiple senses could help increase learning.”

“I guess you don’t fix what isn’t broken,” Y/N mused. “300 years later, and we’re still using the same methods.”

“362, actually,” Spencer corrected.

She gave him a look. “Maybe we can save the Comenius for another time.”

“The genre of children’s literature encompasses some of the most profound and philosophical story telling of all time.” Spencer returned his attention to his reading.

“...So is that a yes?”

Spencer smiled. “I’ve got a book in mind.”

“And clues,” Y/N reminded him, snuggling down under the covers and reopening her book. “We need some fun clues, mystery reader.”

…

“Kindergarten, we have a very special mystery reader this week. Oh man, are you ready for the first clue? The mystery reader loves jell-o! Raise your little hand if you love jell-o, too. Okay, kindergarten, I see you! Lots of jell-o lovers in the house.”

…

“Okay, clue number two! Our mystery reader works as a community helper— remember we learned about all different kinds of community helpers; firefighters, nurses, police officers. But if the mystery reader could be anything, they’d want to be a cowboy! How cool is that?”

...

“Clue number three for our mystery reader!” Y/N sucked in a gasp. “You guys. The mystery reader can do magic. Oh my goodness, I am so excited for Friday,” she sing-songed. “Will they show us a trick? Hmmm, I don’t know. Maybe if you ask nicely.”

…

“Okay, my friends, the last clue. The mystery reader loves reading. They read every day, and they’ve been reading since 1983! Yes, that was a very long time ago.”

⧭⧭⧭

“Okay, any last guesses about who our mystery reader might be?” Y/N questioned.

“I think it’s your dad,” a little voice called out.

Spencer made a choking noise from where he sat, slightly off camera. Y/N laughed. “The mystery reader is decidedly not my dad, Keyshon. Remember I showed you guys the picture of him— my dad’s a farmer, so he’s kind of already a cowboy.” She clapped her hands together. “Okay, without further ado, drumroll please... Our mystery reader is…” Y/N pushed her desk chair out of frame to allow Spencer to roll in, holding her hands out. “Spencer!”

He gave a little wave, smoothing his hair, suddenly painfully self-aware and nervous about the opinions of two dozen six-year-olds. “Hi guys.”

“You’re the boy on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone.”

“Your hair is so fluffy!”

“Do you have a cowboy hat?”

“I like your sweater.”

“Can you really do magic?”

“What’s your favorite jell-o?”

“Whoa, okay, let’s remember our mute button,” Y/N, holding up her index card. “I promise you’ll get to ask Spencer all your questions after he reads the story.”

Spencer smiled at the excited faces beaming through the screen. “Yes, I’m on Ms. Y/L/N’s phone; I don’t own a cowboy hat, yet; yes, I really can do magic; and the red jell-o is my favorite.”

Y/N watched with interest as Spencer pulled out his book. He’d been secretive about his choice, so she was as curious as her students.

“This is one of my favorite stories. It’s written by Munro Leaf, and illustrated by Robert Lawson. It’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer held the cover up to the camera. “Ferdinand is the bull here on the cover. This story was written in 1935, which was a long time ago! Okay are you ready?” Spencer looked out on a sea of thumbs up, turning the page to the beginning of the story. “Once upon a time in Spain, there was a bull, and his name was Ferdinand.”

Y/N smiled as she listened to Spencer read each page, recounting the story of the peaceful bull. He was an excellent storyteller, changing the inflection and expression of his voice to match each sentence. He held each page up for just the right amount of time, panning it so her students could see each detail of the black and white pictures. He added his own wonderings and exclamations here and there, and her students were decidedly enthralled. Her heart ached at how comfortable he was, how natural this was for him. She rested her chin in her hand, trying to keep her mind in the present— ignoring the persistent little mental image of Spencer as a dad.

“So they had to take Ferdinand home. And for all I know, he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly. He is very happy… And that’s The Story of Ferdinand.” Spencer closed the book with a soft smile. “I love this story. Ferdinand is a very special bull. What do you think makes him so special?”

“Ferdinand didn’t fight,” a little voice piped up.

“Yes!” Spencer agreed. “He practiced pacifism in the face of the persistent, ingrained militarism of his country’s culture.”

Y/N placed a hand on Spencer’s knee and gave a quick squeeze. “Right, Ferdinand chose not to fight, even though everybody else he knew wanted to.” Y/N winked at him before turning back to the screen full of kids. “All his friends thought he was kind of weird, but he just really wanted to hang out in the shade and smell the flowers, huh? Sounds pretty good to me.”

“He wasn’t bothered that the other bulls thought he was strange for wanting to be peaceful,” Spencer added. “Sometimes being different can be a good thing. The Story of Ferdinand reminds me that it’s okay to be yourself, even if other people think you’re weird.” His eyes met Y/N’s. “Because there will always be people who love and appreciate you for who you are.”

[depressing-debbie]

Are you still doing the fluff alphabet? If so, could you do Levi?? Thank you 😘

Absolutely! Fluff alphabet masterlist is here

School may be crashing and burning but at least I’ve got time to write :) lmao

I wrote this at 3 AM and I refuse to edit, so enjoy <3

Fluff Alphabet: Levi

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

I honestly don’t think the activity matters to him. He likes to stay home a lot because it’s easier, and because he feels more comfortable somewhere private. Big fancy dates aren’t super common because he views expensive romantic dinners and such as a cliche that he’s too old and mature for, but if it’s something his s/o would be excited about, he’d be secretly excited to indulge sometimes. He’d also probably enjoy museums and art galleries. But again, for the most part, he just wants to spend time with them, it doesn’t matter where.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Levi’s definitely not an appearance-oriented person. Don’t get me wrong, he thinks his s/o is stunning, and he makes sure they know it. But that’s not what he admires about them, their connection is so much deeper than that. He genuinely sees them for who they are and not what they look like, which is why they’re just so beautiful to him, if that makes sense. 

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

He probably panicked the first time he saw his s/o struggling. He’s not the most in tune with his emotions, so he especially doesn’t know how to help others with this kind of thing. But I feel like his protective instincts would kick in and he would actually be really comforting. Most likely, he’d just sit by his s/o’s side silently and make his presence known until they were feeling well enough to talk. At which point he hears them out and offers some advice, of course with the perfect amount of sarcasm and shit jokes to cheer them up a bit. And he’d probably ask them later what they would prefer he do in that situation if it happens again, which of course he would remember in the future.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

This is a point of internal conflict for Levi, for sure. After everything he’s been through, again, he’s become pretty emotionally closed off. He can’t really depend on anything or anyone staying in his life for too long because they never have. So it would really take a while before Levi can really start to picture his future with his s/o. Even then, he would feel a bit guilty for allowing himself to indulge in those dreams. But at the end of the day, he just dreams about some sort of stability with his s/o some day. He doesn’t really care about the details, he just wants to know that they’re going to be together, and that they can develop some kind of routine and stability that he never really had in the past.

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

It’s definitely equal. Levi shares any decision-making with his s/o, and he’d definitely prefer that they do the same, just because that makes their partnership stronger. Because they are very much a team.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Levi does tend to have a bit of a temper, but it’s not something that he would ever want to bring into his relationship. He doesn’t let either of them fight over something petty just because it’s not worth it. And with a more serious disagreement, he’d try hard to start a genuine discussion about it. Things happen, though, so they obviously get in fights sometimes. Levi can be kind of rude when he gets really frustrated, which is why he tries to avoid it. But he’d never actually say something to hurt his s/o, even when they’re both upset. Usually, even the rare argument calms down enough to be settled rationally.

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He is so incredibly grateful for his s/o; he sees and appreciates everything they do for him, and he makes sure it’s known. Explicitly saying something like that makes him a bit uncomfortable, so he finds other ways to silently show his gratitude. He makes sure his s/o’s favorite mug is always clean, and he makes them his favorite blend of tea whenever he sees that they’re stressed out. Just little things that he does to make sure they know he’s thinking about them.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

There are pretty much no secrets in the relationship. The past is a little complicated; there are a few stories that Levi probably will never be able to share (or at least, it will take a very long time), and his s/o is more than entitled to keep secrets about their past that they just cannot share. But other than that, it’s an open book. Levi wouldn’t see any reason to lie about most things, unless it’s about keeping his s/o safe, and it would make him really uncomfortable to know that his s/o keeps secrets. Not that there are no boundaries, it’s just that he wouldn’t want to pour his heart out and be vulnerable just to find out that the other person doesn’t trust him as much.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

I think Levi’s s/o probably helps him a lot, actually. He’s been emotionally closed off for a long time, and being in a relationship with trust and a deep connection would help him to open up a bit and be more vulnerable. He also just lets himself be a bit happier and more optimistic with his s/o, so his life is just a bit easier in general.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

He’d never admit it out loud, but he actually does get pretty jealous. It’s mostly just self esteem issues, not a lack of trust at all. He trusts them more than enough to know that they’re not going to secretly abandon him, so of course he’d never make a big deal out of it (although I think it goes without saying that if someone is hitting on his s/o or something in public and they look remotely uncomfortable, he would go absolutely batshit) But, still, sometimes he can’t help feeling sometimes like he’s not enough for them. He tries to hide it, but it’s pretty obvious that he’s sulking when he’s upset, so his s/o would most likely spot it immediately. And all he would really need is a gentle reminder that he IS enough for them.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Alright I’m conflicted on this one. I’m just gonna say it, his first kiss with his s/o was kind of just not that great. He wouldn’t DARE not ask for proper consent, HOWEVER he ended up asking like three times just to make sure it was alright, which made it a teensy bit awkward. Once he finally gave in, he just gave them the teensiest little kiss and that was it for like two weeks. He’s not really great with physical touch so it takes a while for him to get comfortable. His s/o would probably have to take over from there or else they’d never kiss again, but once he gets comfortable, he does fine.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

It’s during something incredibly mundane, probably just a car drive or a regular movie night. He’s going about his day when he realizes he loves them, and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna stew on that knowledge for another two weeks just because he’s too nervous. So in the middle of a movie or just like halfway home from the store, he just blurts out “hey, I love you”. It’s completely by surprise, but it’s not like it’s particularly early or far into the relationship, so it makes sense. From then on, he wouldn’t be the type of person to say it all the time (I mean, come on, his s/o should know by now, it’d just be stupid). But he also wouldn’t hold himself back from saying it when he’s feeling particularly grateful for his s/o one day. And hearing them say it back would definitely make him blush just the slightest bit every time.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Levi would be absolutely terrified to get married. BUT that’s not to say that he wouldn’t want to. It would take some considering, sure, but especially if it’s something he knows his s/o wants, he’s all in. He’d probably propose in a similar way to how he first said he loves them, except at least just a bit more planned out. It wouldn’t be a cliche grand proposal with doves and rose petals and champagne, that would drive him crazy. Most likely, he surprises them with a homemade dinner, sets the table with candles, and hands them the ring. He’d put on a confident face, but he’s panicking for sure. He’s not really a marriage-y person, so he’s not going to be buying those matching couple towels that have like “mr ackerman” and his s/o’s name on them, and he’s most definitely not giving in to those cheesy weird nicknames (”hubby” makes him glare so hard). But he would love the perceived sense of stability, commitment, and routine that go along with marriage.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Just their name, for the most part. Maybe “love” or “sweetheart”, but he always says that most nicknames are just too cliche. I mean, only lovestruck 20 year olds call each other “babe”, and that is most certainly not their relationship. But, honestly he wouldn’t mind if his s/o gave him one of those cheesy names... not that he’d ever let on to that, of course, but if they happen to figure it out one day... he wouldn’t be mad. Mostly he just loves to hear his name in their voice, so they call each other by their names. 

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

The token stoic expression Levi keeps in public isn’t going away just because he’s in love. To an outside eye, absolutely nothing is different. But even in public, his s/o can probably tell. Maybe it’s something about the way his eyes are just slightly warmer, slightly brighter. Maybe it’s because he’s just the slightest bit more willing to talk and hold a conversation when they’re by his side. But when they’re alone, he finally lets down that stone expression, and he’s like a whole different person. It doesn’t happen often, but on days where he’s just absolutely lovestruck, he walks around his house smiling, holding his s/o’s hand, maybe even curling up on the sofa together to nap. On those days, he just kind of lets himself be happy. 

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Levi’s definitely not a fan of PDA. The relationship isn’t a secret by any means, but he’s also not broadcasting it for the entire world to see. The people close to him know, and that’s plenty. He doesn’t like PDA partly because it’s too vulnerable, but also just because it’s kind of gross and unnecessary to him.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

This man has the best memory of anyone you’ll ever meet. It’s honestly a bit unsettling, but he remembers everything his s/o says, and he’ll find a way to bring it up like months later. Sometimes it’s as simple as remembering their favorite food and bringing it to them when they’re stressed out. But it could even be so crazy as them saying in a random conversation in July that they hate when mashed potatoes aren’t totally mashed, and boom, at Thanksgiving that year, they find him mashing the potatoes a little extra just to make sure. (Don’t ask how I came up with that example, my brain is weird.) His mind is a steel trap, and he uses it to his advantage.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

Cliche romance irritates him so much, he avoids it at all costs, so he’s mostly creative in that sense. He has an eye for picking out ways to make his s/o happy, and even though he doesn’t consider himself particularly romantic, he actually really is.

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Absolutely! Levi wants nothing more than to help his s/o achieve whatever they’re working towards, and he’s completely supportive. Anything he can do, any help or emotional support he can offer them, he’s more than willing. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

I don’t think he’s AGAINST trying new things, but he really just prefers a routine. Again, it makes him happy to have that connection of stability with his s/o, and he feels so much more comfortable knowing he can depend on that.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He’s very empathetic. He might struggle sometimes with understanding, just because it’s not very likely that he and his s/o have had similar experiences in life, but he knows them like the back of his hand. What he lacks in immediate understanding, he makes up for in conversations about any issues and an ability to read their expressions really really well.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Honestly, if Levi is in a long term relationship with someone, they’re one of the most important parts of his life. He doesn’t make superficial connections, and he especially doesn’t open up to people he doesn’t care deeply about, so it’s safe to say that he values his s/o greatly. 

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

He buys his s/o flowers once a week. It’s just a little tradition that makes him happy, and he likes seeing that it makes his s/o happy, so he’s kept it going. If they don’t like flowers, then maybe it’s a little trinket they collect, or a cookie from their favorite bakery. But regardless, he hasn’t missed a week since they’ve been together, it’s really important to him.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

He’s not necessarily an overly affectionate person. There are occasional days where it really just hits him how lucky he is, and he just wants to hold his s/o for a while and not go do anything that day. But for the most part, he’s not clingy in any means, and his s/o would have to initiate most cuddling. He’ll let them know if he’s really not in the mood, but he usually doesn’t mind (because let’s face it he’s a teensy bit touch starved). But yeah, he shows his affection in different ways for the most part.

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

It’s not really an issue for him. He’s always been an independent person, so even after he lets himself trust that his s/o isn’t leaving him, he’s not going to be that level of dependent on their presence. He probably would have to fill up his schedule a bit more, though, just so he didn’t have too much down time to get all sad and miss them. He’d also probably clean everything in his sight to calm down until they return.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

He’s zealous for sure, he isn’t about to let go of a relationship that means this much to him just because he wasn’t willing to put in the work. He’d do as much as he could to make it work. 

[intothewickedwood]

Once Upon A Time Rewatch: 6x19 The Black Fairy

Peter Pan! So weird to think they were married but I mean they’re both kinda obsessed with collecting children that aren’t their son which is a weird coincidence.

Aww baby Rumple!

Malcolm looks so happy to have a baby. It seems it was the loss of Fiona that made him resent Rumple. Perhaps he could have been a father with her support but he just couldn’t handle being a single father. 

I wish we got to know more about fairy lore

Rumple was born in winter. He’s totally a Capricorn!

Aren’t Saviors meant to save realms from dark curses? But the dark curse wasn’t created yet. Maybe they retconned it and they’re just meant to save people.

That dragon egg is awfully convenient. What happened to the characters going on quests to find things like this? It’s too easy to wake Blue up.

Snow straight up strangling the Blue Fairy. I know it’s not her but I think Snow deserves that opportunity. 

Quick thinking Rumple with that cuff! 

Why does Emma have to have sleepy time too?

Is the shack Rumple was born in the same place he and Milah lived in? Probably not.

Yep. Really shouldn’t have given her that book of prophecies. What did they expect? Fiona to be overjoyed her son would die at the hands of a great evil?

Wait. It’s not possible for someone to turn themselves into a fairy? There must be something about Fiona. There’s something about that family, I swear. It seems they were all destined for great power and great evil.

Regina teaching Zelena to drive is the best thing ever but she totally could have escaped with Henry on her broom if things went wrong. If people in New York saw her and Henry flying high defying gravity they’d just think it was promo for Broadway’s Wicked.

Lmao! Omg Zelena! This scene is glorious!

Oh yeah, baby Robin could fit on the broom too. They’d make it work!

Regina: “I trust him to raise you.” Lol. So true but now I need all the fics with Henry raising his little cousin and Auntie in New York. 

The Black Fairy is so freaking creepy singing a lullaby to Blue.

The hatred emanating from the Black Fairy for Blue gives me shivers. 

And then she’s like “I’m so happy we get a chance to play,” and sits down like a child. Chills, I tell you! Like, Blue has completely destroyed who she used to be.

What was she going to do to the child if she’d found one with the crescent mark? 

Aww. Rumple breaking down and saying “I would do anything for you, son.” This man freaking loves his children. 

How did they end up in Rumple’s dream when Gideon was the first to be sprinkled with the night night sand?

Hook: “How do we know you are actually you.” Regina: “Because it’s me!” Sounds legit.

Aww, Hook just called Regina “love”. Are they getting along again, now? I saw a meta the other day that noted how Regina only started to dislike Hook when he got serious with Emma and I’m pretty sure that’s true. Interesting!

I wanted to see a proper witch fight dammit! For a show with so many sorcerers, we deserved more magical duels.

But omg Zelena suddenly running the Black Fairy over and her flipping over the car is the best thing in existence! 

Aww the sisters’ little smiles to each other. 

The sacred vault of the fairies? Are they, like, religious? 

This poor woman. I feel so sorry for her. She’s just desperately and feverishly trying to protect her baby. What did they expect from her? Most mothers would go to those lengths if they were told their child would suffer such a horrible fate. That would bring anyone to the end of their tether.

Omg wtf. “He’s destined to die so that other children may live.” That is a beyond cruel thing to say to the face of a mother. What the hell? Omg the pain on Fiona’s face. No child should be sacrificed for another. How heartless of the fairies.

So did Emma replace Rumple as the EF’s Savior or can their be multiple Saviors? 

Agggh this is so horrific. Poor Fiona finding out she is destined to kill her own child. She’s devastated. 

Oh, did she get the crescent scar when she was disarmed? 

Oh cool, the Black Fairy can project memories! That’s quite a unique power.

Blue could have saved a lot of people by remotely teleporting their hearts into her hands from the EQ’s or Cora’s and yet she didn’t.

She has a point. Even if she severed her destiny so she wouldn’t be the one to kill him, he could still be in danger from some other threat.

Blue, what the hell! Summoning a portal was absolutely uncalled for. What because she dared to upset you as you were so desperate for him to become the Savior for some reason? Probably part of her long-game evil plan. So what if he didn’t become a Savior?! Blue’s going on like that was the worst crime. She was just trying to protect him and you separated a doting mother who was no longer a danger to him from her child! You had no right! She is so self-righteous, I swear to god. It’s nothing to do with her. Who does she think she is?! Blue has ruined so many lives and gotten away with it because she believes she’s all high and mighty. She’s just as much of a villain as any other on this show. It makes me so mad. Poor Fiona. No wonder she hates Blue. 

Fiona: “I promise you son, I will spend every moment of every day trying to find my way back to you!”

I think she let Rumple hate her because it was too painful and she didn’t think she deserved his love. 

There are a lot of parallels between Rumple and his mother’s stories. They are much alike. 

Malcolm genuinely loved Fiona. He said she was the love of his life. Gosh I needed backstory with those two! After her he felt the only way he could be happy again was to return to childhood and Neverland so he didn’t have to think about Fiona. It was too painful. Easier to pretend he’d never loved. 

Malcolm must have lied to Rumple and told him his mother had abandoned him.

The fairies imply Fiona is dead to cover their own asses. They won’t say they banished her because they damn well know he’d fight them to get the love of his life back.

Lol. Sorry but calling your child Rumplestiltskin just to spite him is hilarious. What does it mean? Oh! It means “Little Rattle Stilt.” I mean it could have been worse it could have been “Little Sh*thead.” 

Also the Fairies hearing him blame the baby for his wife’s death should have rung alarm bells. They should have put him in a home where he’d be loved and cared for. Nope, just leave him with this guy who hates him.

Eww. They put a heart on the dinner table.

Giddy Up’s got his heart back! Yehaaaw!

“A seafaring man does not take superstitions likely.” So he is superstitious! He allowed a woman on his ship for years so maybe superstitions are different in the EF.

Oh my God, next week’s the musical episode!!!! I can’t wait!!!!

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Intense Years)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: y/n is 16-17, also ive really never written anything about team iron man so this was weird, someone needs to tell me i dont need every single movie detail in here

prompt: takes place from cacw and smhc

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Aftermath (4) Continued (5)

after the events in sokovia, you set up the relief fund for displaced sokovians and dealt with physical clean up while the avengers...

well, they had to deal with the press—and the governments of the world

getting to know your new suit AI, JOSHUA

briefly looking for bruce; no luck there

you ended up doing the MIT september foundation presentation with tony

and ending the presentation after pepper’s name popped up on the screen

“it’s probably best we get out of here”

you were his entire support system while he was going through his break with pepper

meeting charles spencer’s mother, who really gave your dad a piece of her mind

“my son died, but your daughter gets to live on. if you lost her, maybe you’d show some sympathy for murdering my child”

*awkward silence from you*

*awkward silence from tony otw to the compound*

HATING the sound of the sokovia accords, yet understanding why they’re being ratified

being torn between signing them or not and having a huge argument with the other avengers

“y/n, why dont you listen to your dad for once and sign the damn thing”

“uncle rhodey, you know why i dont want to sign. if they have us, they have access to our suits. you really think the UN should be telling us how to use them?”

“your defense doesn’t even make sense. i had the war machine or iron patriot or whatever the hell you want to call it, but the military was calling the shots”

“and look where you are now”

“right, well i wouldn’t expect a kid to understand”

“are you kidding me, rhodes? you’re gonna play the ‘im older than you’ card?”

comforting wanda while she feared being taken

and as soon as you heard about what happened in lagos

“think about it, maximoff. if you didnt do what you did, do you know how many more casualties there may have been?”

“but i killed innocents”

“no, rumlow killed innocents. you contained that blast better than anyone else could have and you prevented a whole bunch of deaths, give yourself some credit”

okay, so you weren’t the best at talking someone down while they were upset

staying in berlin with your father while the whole bucky thing began to get sorted out

but he sent you out to stay with nat while he had some “private time” with steve

tony keeping you close to him during the power outage at the base

until it turned out you brought your suit and tony did not!

everyone was looking at you to take down bucky, but it just seemed like a bad idea, you didn’t want to hurt him because you didn’t want to hurt steve

stalling to try and buy steve time to subdue his friend

“y/n, come on, for christ sake!”

“got it, dad! i know what im doing!”

“i dont think you do!”

feeling your stomach drop when bucky shot into your dad’s hand, if it wasn’t for his latest invention, he may have gotten seriously hurt

you had a slight change of heart after that, you couldn’t bare to lose your dad. not after all those close calls...

getting yelled at by secretary ross and the wonderful 36 hour ultimatum you, nat, and tony received

“i have a plan”

“don’t say the spider boy”

“fine, i wont say it”

a nice trip to queens :)

when this parker kid finally got home, tony left you to socialize with his aunt

small talk is sometimes unbearable

“so, what’s it like being tony stark’s daughter?”

“honestly? im always tired”

peter becoming a tagalong on your mission, which you didn’t really think was appropriate

“dad, i dont really think we should’ve brought the kid...”

“why? you’re about the same age as him, its not much different”

“um...no, i meant this isnt his battle. i don’t care how old he is”

face off between tony and cap where you literally just swallowed all your pride and apologized because you couldn’t handle the fact that the team was being ripped apart like this

team ups with Spider-Man

“so, uh, do you hate me or something?”

“hey, kid? we’re kind of in the middle of something, i’ll get back to you on that”

“it’s a yes or no question, y/n”

“pass”

so, things didn’t exactly go as planned...

your (former) teammates were taken to the RAFT and you couldn’t pull it together in front of them

they were pretty pissed at you

“im sorry, im so sorry, i should’ve done better”

they ignored you (up until scott lang)

“all you stark’s are the same”

“stay out of this, bugboy”

taking to the remote hydra base in another famous father/daughter teamup

“just like the old days, right kiddo?”

“i guess so”

“hey, cheer up, it’s not all that bad”

waltzing right in there to meet your friend and foe

seeing the video of your grandparents dying

*being killed

absolutely stunned by seeing such a gruesome thing

even after all you’ve seen, this really got to you

you were robbed of ever meeting them, which made you angry, but you couldn’t stay angry because there were so many things out of everyones control

realizing that this was a good time to hold tony back

“JOSHUA, lock down y/n’s suit. protocol: baby gate”

apparently your dad still had some old protocols in your suit that you hadn’t found yet

“JOSHUA? reboot! override protocol: baby gate”

“i’m sorry, miss y/n, but i cannot do that”

watching your father attempt to get revenge

and get critically injured

simultaneously working on opening the suit back up for a bad plan

finally getting the emergency release and stumbling out of your suit, rushing towards the conflict and throwing yourself in the middle of it

“please, dad. enough damage has been done.”

“y/n, get out of the way”

he saw you shaking and crying and he realized what he was doing

attacking the only family you guys really had

getting shoved out of the way so that they could end this fight once and for all

JOSHUA finally rebooting and bringing the suit over to shield you while you helplessly watched the end of this fight

when bucky and steve left, your suit disarmed and you crouched down beside your father

“come on, let’s just go home”

“im sorry”

“i know, it’s okay”

trying to comfort your dad after his defeat

you picked up cap’s shield and returned to your suit, it was time to go home

after a brief time of recovery (while you helped work on uncle rhodey’s prototype prosthetics), there was a slight change of plans for you

“okay, so for your punishment after what you pulled during my...divorce with cap, you’re going to babysit the spiderling so you gain some perspective”

“hold on, what?! what do you mean ‘perspective?’”

“i mean you dont know what it’s like to be in charge of the life of a teenager, so now you get to find out! congratulations on your promotion!”

it was not fun at all because peter kept blowing up your phone and you kept having to tell him there was nothing for him to do

Y/N: I’ll let you know when there’s a spider-level threat, kapeesh?

P. Parker: Yes, ma’am, sorry.

peter going behind your back to do some “superhero work”

and you having to swoop in to fix everything last second

“come on, you stole my thunder, y/n!”

“no, peter, i saved your life. next time you have a lead, call me first”

and then he didn’t 😌✨💕

“Y/N, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”

“put him through, JOSHIE...hey dad, how’s dubai?”

“taking care of a kid is harder than it looks, isn’t it?”

“don’t start with me”

damage control ahahah 🤡

“peter, why cant you just call me in? you don’t stop texting me for months but for this you go radio silent? you almost died. and you put a bunch of lives in danger! do you want me to have to go to your aunt and tell her you died?”

“im sorry! i just...i dont want to be a sidekick”

“kid, you’re gonna have a long time to make a name for yourself...but not if you’re dead!”

he started crying and you were very uncomfortable so you tried to hug him? it helped.

letting him off easy (just like your dad did to you growing up)

but apparently tony came back and took the suit anyways and you were pretty pissed about it

avengers moving day :) yes, part of your punishment was helping happy with moving day and hearing him gush about how you were “growing into such a responsible adult”

“happy i dont know if you noticed but ive basically been an adult since i was 12”

“keep telling yourself that, kiddo”

seeing an explosion and immediately knowing it was peter

“i’ll see you later, happy, love you!”

investigating the crash site and whaddaya know, there’s peter and his first bad guy, you were kind of proud

“peter, you okay?”

“nope!”

“okay, cool”

more damage control lmao (a/n: yall sick of damage control yet?)

a congratulatory call from your dad

“hey! you did pretty good, all things considered. why don’t you take the kid to the avengers compound for his special surprise?”

“aye aye, see you soon.”

“love you, kiddo”

“you too, dad”

quick fast forward to peter rejecting the position as an avenger while the press was outside, yes, you were surprised

but then your dad finally proposed to pepper, it was a pretty cool engagement announcement

“y/n, will you be my maid of honor?”

“duh!”

happily ever after (a/n: until the next part is up)

[theodora3022]

Goddess(Yandere Mirio)

Posting again because weird internet connection last night ate it...

Pairing: (yandere?) Pro hero! Mirio x Villain? F!reader

Summary: You were once a powerful young hero with a wind quirk. After refusing Endeavor’s proposal, you were blacklisted from the hero community. Having no choice, you begun to work as an assassin. Slitting throats without hesitation as long as it is lucrative. That is when you run into Mirio, your former classmate again. You two were not close friends, although mirio is always friendly. He was ordered to take you down, so you expected a fierce fight. What you did not anticipate is how he invited you to come with him.

Notes: Yeah this is a Mirio take on the “Fairy” concept. I recently recieved a request for this, and I just want to say I am so happy you guys love this stupid little concept. Mirio still have his quirk in this fic, and Sir Night Eye is still alive. Reblogs are comments are greatly appreciated!!

You can also see this contains an pathetic attempt to write Endeavor, but I’m not cut out for that LMAO

Warnings: slight nsfw for hcs, abuse of power(not Mirio), stalking, non-con touching, suicide attempt, drugging

They say the loveliest angels make the cruelest demons, and my darling

You were so beautiful

Before they dragged you into hell.

“You’re going to regret this decision.” That was what Endeavor said when you hand him the resignation with a straight face. However, You do not feel any regret whatsoever. You stayed silent as you began to walk out of that damned office, that courrpted agency. Paying no mind the flame man’s burning gaze on your back.

When you first started at Endeavor’s agency, you were excited. As a fresh UA Graduate, it is unusual for a top hero like Endeavor himself to offer you a position as a sidekick. It almost feels too good to be true. Well, turns out it is.

Used to loose clothing, you were shocked when your boss requested you to change your hero costume to a tight bodysuit. Being the good employee you were, you obeyed without questions. Then there are those little things, how Endeavor seems to favor you over his other subordinates, how he finds excuses to keep you near him at all times, most alarmingly, how he looks at your breasts and hips when he thought you did not notice.

You had doubts, but your boss is the No.1 hero! How can he possibly have sexual desires for a little girl like you? So you choose to ignore those red flags and carried on. Until he cornered you against the office door one day, when you came to report a minor robber you took care of earlier.

That is when you realize how you naïve you were. “Fire and winds, they go well together don’t they? I’m sure a child with those two quirks would be a powerful hero.” “Don’t touch me!” You said, almost screaming. He was pressed to a corner of his office by sudden strong currents, banging on the bookshelf that occupies it. Several books fell off, but he did not seem to bother. Even with his strength Endeavor cannot move forward a step. That pissed off look scares you, but you did allow yourself to flinch despite your trembling hands.

“You have no idea how many woman would die for an oppertunity like this.” 

“Then go find them, Sir. Sorry but I will never accept this offer.”

And that is how you ended up as a sellsword, instead of a hero. You work to get paid.

Your friends use to muse about how your impeccable speed would be perfect for an assassin, and that is what you are now. Slithering in the shadows, taking life for gold. Heroes and villains alike commissioned you due to your stealthy quirk and your incredible speed.You would not exactly count yourself as a villain, although the LoV had made offers to you in the past. You walk in that grey area of society, neither good nor bad. After Endeavor blacklisted you, no agency dared to hire you. None of them are willing to evoke his wrath. This is all his plan to make you submit, to accept the position of his compliant trophy wife, his personal baby factory. But you did not give in, even that means rejections and pity from those other heroes.  At last when your saving run out, you took up the LoV’s commission offer. The pay is generous, and you were in need. It is a win-win deal. Ever since you have been taking up jobs from both sides as long as the pay is good.

Your fifteen-year-old UA freshman self would never imagine becoming an assassin, but here you are, shaking hands with Kurogiri as you take the rest of the payment. They wanted you to join them, but you politely declined. You liked Toga and Spinner well enough, but some heroic part of you still cannot stand the idea of becoming a villain.

Regardless of being a mercenary, you still have your principles and morals. Aside from those contracts, you never took a life. You would still give up your seat to pregnant and elderly on the train, still picking up trash in parks. After finishing a job, you would hum little melodies as you pull the hood of your sweater over your blood-stained hair, fly home, maybe getting groceries on the way. You are merciful at what you do, always strike one lethal blow so the target would have minimal pain. Life is not easy, but you are certain this is so much better then being trapped in a manor as a housewife. Occasionally, some sketchy bounty hunter would manage to get to you, although you can always outrun them.

Mirio has a problem. It was...about a mission, concerning you.

What lies on his desk, is a detailed file of you. You in the picture were still a hero back then, smiling at the camera. How can Mirio ever forget that sweet smile?

“If I’m not mistaken, (y/n) is your old schoolmate, correct?” “Yes, Sir.” “She has been lending strength to the League of Villains as a mercenary. That makes her a criminal, even though she takes up jobs from the commission as well. We need to get her back to our side, as her winds are strong, we cannot let the villains have that. Endeavor seem to be particularly enthusiastic about this idea, oddly. I think you should be the one to do it. You can pass through anything, even her winds. Find her, bring her back, use force if possible.”

Mirio always wondered what made you leave hero life, now he got the perfect opportunity to ask you! He has not seen you in forever, this could be a little cute reunion! To be perfectly honest to himself, Mirio had a minor crush on you back w in UA. But as students you both just focused on your studies, and he never confessed.

It took him a while to track down your whearabouts, but for Mirio it was not a hard task, as the Commission has your address of the bar you frequented to take up offers.

It was a cold night, you just finished a job in the rural area of Mustafu, cleansing your daggers in a little stream in the woods when he appeared before you. Damn, how did he approach you without the winds noticing?

To Mirio, how you crouch down by the stream, how your black clothes hugs every curve of your body and especially how you focused on washing the bloodstains off your knives were absolutely stunning. You were like the huntress goddess Artemis from the Greek legends, with how the moonlight gently pooling over your frame. It might sound weird, getting turned on by a girl washing her daggers, but Mirio somehow accepts the fact that his juvenile crush has not gone away. On the contrary, it has become stronger, strong enough to be classified as love or obsession.

Now he knows why Endeavor has been so enthusiastic about the idea of capturing you. Mirio can hardly take his eyes off you himself! You were even more breathtaking in your pitch-black assassin attire compare to your hero costume. As he always loves a good mythology story, seeing you like this awaken something in him. A beautiful goddess, through and through.

You are his goddess! How can you taint your hands with blood while you can be worshipped in the temples? Being a mercenary does not suit you. 

“Togata, what a surprise.” Seeing your old classmate again, you are more concerned then happy. This is a remote location, far away from any population, and he just sneaked up on you without notice. He laughs as he sees how you work up a defensive wind barrier, knowing it has no effect on permeation. Back in your schooldays he has always been a pain to defeat, since Mirio can even pass through air, your usual push away methods fail on him alone. Thankfully, he cannot fly. “Long time no see. Well, what brings you to this part of town?” Putting away your daggers back into your leather pouch, you managed to put up a polite smile even you dreaded his answer. If he is one of those bounty hunters-

“I came to see you, of course! You are so beautiful in these clothes.” Without warning, Mirio stepped close, the wind barrier does nothing to him. If this has been a normal reunion party, his words might just make you flush a bit. But this is a secluded forest.

Before you can think of a counter strategy, two big strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close towards the grinning blonde. You let out a scream as you try to wiggle out of his grasp, but it was futile. As a ranged combatant with high speed, strength was never your forte, neither is close up combat.

Why are you screaming? Don’t you see how he just want you to be treated well? This life is not for you! You deserve a loving family life, and Mirio is determined to provide that.

“Love, please do not scream. I don’t want to use a gag on you.” When you were distracted by his loving nickname, Mirio quickly slid a pair of quirk cancelling handcuffs on you.

“Let me go! Togata why are you doing this?” You are sure he has taken up the role of a bounty hunter. To your surprise, he released you from his clutches. But you were horrified to find your quirk has been restricted by those damned cuffs.

“Did Endeavor send you? I always know he is a piece of garbage, but you? Who can make my quirk useless?” Slowly backing away, trembling, you knew there is no change you can outrun Lemillion without your winds. Guess that is the end of free life. You rather be dead then be in Endeavor’s home. A quick slit can get the job done.

However, Mirio would never allow you to die. Before you can reach for your blades, he snatched the pouch out of your hands. “Endeavor? No, no. I’m not taking you to him. Don’t hurt yourself, angel.”

A wave of relief wash over you, then you hear Mirio’s words: “I’m taking you home, the commission has ordered me to make sure you don’t make any more deals with villains, and I agree. You deserve a peaceful life.”

Those are the last words you hear before blacking out from a strange, sweet scent. “Sorry to do this, my sweet, but you need to calm down and come home with me.”

As he held your unconscious body in his arms, Mirio promised himself that he will treasure you and give you the treatment you deserve. He finally found his goddess, he is not going to let go, never.

Bonus head canons:

You would wake up in Mirio’s fancy apartment, quirk cancelling collar around your neck, with mirio hugging you from behind in bed. His breath tickles your neck in the most terrifying way.

“Love, you’re finally awake! I was worrying about you overdosing.” That big smile, used to be a sign or reassurance during school days, now is a sight worthy for nightmares.

You would start kicking and screaming, wanting to get away from him.

“Togata let me go!” Your squirms are less then useless without your winds, but you have to try.

“It’s Mirio, lovely. Now how about we get you changed? I got you some pretty lingerie~”

You would shake your head and bite him, which...would result in him getting mad.

“I know it’s not right to use drugs, but you got to understand I did this all for you! That life is too dirty for someone like you, you deserved to be cherished. Lucky for you I am here to tend to all your needs.”

“But I- “ “No buts, sweetness. Now how about you get into one of those pretty outfits and show me how grateful you are? I did spare you that awful mercenary life, after all.”

You were not given a choice. Well, at least he cannot be worse then Endeavor, right? You can only gulp and comply, terrified of the alternative.

“My precious goddess...” He pulls you close, buring his nose in your hair. “I’m going to worship you so well that you forget about everything else.”

[captainjanegay]

Wrap me up (in your love) | Stucky | Established Relationship, Winter Fluff | 1 997 words | Ao3

Summary:

Bucky would lie if he said he didn't feel at least a bit tempted by the idea of the two of them holed up in some cosy, remote place. He didn't get killed (twice), brainwashed and scarred for life to deny himself a nice winter retreat with the love of his life.

But maybe he should. Because he always knew that Steve would be the death of him. And yet, here he is, over 90 years later, having learned nothing.

A/N: First of - hopefully at least a few more - winter prompts I've written. It's based on a list of tumblr holiday prompts (feel free to send me some more ^^) specifically the "cuddles in a power outage" that I’ve got from @hannah-stagram​ and "heater stopped working" from @buckybees​ I’m tagging you both, since this fulfils them both but I might have another idea that I’ll hopefully write soon :’) Sorry it took me so long, my loves! ♥

I hope you'll like it and you'll find Dramatic™ Bucky as funny as I did lmao

My fifth fill for the @stuckybingo2020​ ♥

.

It was all Steve's fault. 

This trip was his idea and after all those years Bucky really should learn not to agree to anything that comes out of Steve Rogers's mouth. Because everything that comes out of Steve Rogers's mouth is fucking stupid. It always gets one or both of them beaten up, killed or at the very least, highly miserable. Bucky doesn't know what on Earth made him say yes to this whole madness. Maybe when in Wakanda they got rid of the HYDRA programming from his brain, they accidentally deleted his self preservation instinct or basic survival skills. Because everyone knows that following Steve Rogers's anywhere is completely against basic common sense.

And yet Bucky did. Again. And to the fucking Alps, of all places.

It was supposed to be nice. Steve said they deserved to get away from the city and the noise and everything for a bit. Which Bucky couldn't and didn't even want to argue with, it was true. He also said that Wakanda was nice but they've become too frequent guests there, made too many friends not to have someone disrupting their peace — even in the nicest way possible. And again, he did have a point here. So for some reason, Steve decided that a cabin in the Alps — on the Italian side, not the Austrian one, as if it made anything better — in the beginning of December was the best idea.

In theory? Maybe it was. All the peace and quiet, the beautiful landscapes, the nice and comfy cabin just for him and for his dumbfuck of a boyfriend to do whatever they hearts desired. Bucky would lie if he said he didn't feel at least a bit tempted by the idea. He didn't get killed (twice), brainwashed and scarred for life to deny himself a nice winter retreat with the love of his life.

But maybe he should. Because he always knew that Steve would be the death of him. And yet, here he is, over 90 years later, having learned nothing.

It all seemed fine at first. Maybe that's what lulled Bucky into the false sense of security. When they arrived this morning Bucky was absolutely charmed by the place. The cabin was small and remote, it had a tiny porch in the front and the view from there was absolutely breath-taking. Inside it was just as cosy and warm — both in the figurative and literal meaning — as it seemed from the outside. It was furnished in a more modern way that he was expecting but everything here seemed to fit together just fine, creating a perfect atmosphere to take a breather from life and just chill.

Sadly, this is not the kind of chilling that Bucky is currently doing. Because right now he is sitting on the couch dressed in a hoodie and Steve’s sweater, wrapped in every single blanket he could find in the cabin. Because the power went out around two hours ago and Bucky is already freezing.

If he had to pick a third way to die, turning into an icicle on a romantic getaway with Steve would not make it high on his list.

“I called the owner,” Steve says, walking over to the couch. “He said that he’ll send someone to fix it but it can take a few hours before they get here.”

Bucky glares at Steve from his personal blanket fort, his eyes narrowed into slits. Steve doesn’t even look at him, checking something at his phone, so Bucky just keeps glaring until it gets noticed. Steve only chuckles and drops onto the couch next to him.

While Bucky has been putting on more layers with every passing minute, Steve didn’t even notice that something was wrong for the first hour or so. It wasn’t until Bucky pointed out that the lights didn’t work that Steve agreed that maybe he should check if the fuses didn’t blow or something. They did not, it was some more complex power outage that took away the thing Bucky loved most — working heaters.

But now it seems that the cold even got to Steve “I Don’t Have Working Temperature Receptors” Rogers.

He put on a flannel.

He left it unbuttoned, but it's progress from the thin t-shirt he was wearing earlier. Bucky feels colder from just looking at him.

“I’m about to turn into an ice statue,” Bucky says.

“And you’ll be the most handsome one of them all!” Steve smiles, leaning in to press a kiss to Bucky’s cheek.

Bucky wants to smack him but it would require pulling an arm out of the warm cocoon. It isn't worth it.

“Why did I agree to this?” Bucky wonders out loud for who-knows-which time in the last hour. “I hate cold so fucking much. Why didn’t we go to Hawaii or something? The next time we go on a trip somewhere, I’m gonna pick the place. And it’s gonna be as far from the fucking Alps and snow as possible.”

Steve laughs and moves on the couch so he faces Bucky. “Come on, love. It’s not that cold and—,” seeing Bucky’s expression, he amends, “OK, sorry. My opinion on whether something is cold or not is not valid, I forgot. But they’ll fix it soon and meanwhile I’m gonna get the fire going, yeah?”

“Light me on fire, since I’m going to die anyway,” Bucky grumbles.

“And while we wait for the heaters to be fixed...” Steve started, completely ignoring Bucky’s words, “there are some ways that I could keep you warm.”

There’s a smirk on his face and he leans towards Bucky on the couch. Before he can do anything else, Bucky starts shaking his head.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Rogers! I won’t let you take off a single piece of clothing off me, so don’t even try that!” he says.

“Come on, Buck it’s—”

“Not even a fucking sock,” Bucky’s finger pokes from under the covers to jab at Steve’s chest and hides just as quickly.

Steve raises his hands in surrender. Before he moves to the fireplace, he pulls another blanket out of thin air — Bucky doesn't know how he did that, he ransacked the place when he felt the first chills. He wraps it around Bucky's shoulders and presses a kiss to his hooded head.

It would warm Bucky's heart, if there were any traces of heat left in his body. Since there are not, he just glares at Steve in a softer way this time.

Soon enough a big, nice fire is crackling in the fireplace. It looks really inviting. Bucky wants to move closer but on the other hand, his butt warmed up a nice little place on the couch, so it would be a pity to leave it now. While Bucky contemplates pros and cons of moving closer to the warmth (pros - warmth, cons - moving), Steve disappears for another few minutes. There are some weird noises coming from the bedroom and then the sound of something heavy being dragged across the floor.

“Steve?” Bucky calls. “You OK back there?”

“Yup,” Steve says happily, reappearing in the living room. When Bucky turns to look at him, a surprised laugh escapes his mouth.

Because Steve has just dragged the entire mattress with duvets and pillows from the bedroom and is currently placing it on the floor, leaving a reasonable distance between it and the fire. Before Bucky can react in any way, Steve leaves again and comes back with two big mugs filled with something steamy and — Bucky assumes — deliciously warm. He places them carefully on the coffee table, in arm’s reach from the mattress.

Bucky must admit that he’s tempted. He is considering rolling off the couch but Steve decides for him. Walking over to Bucky, he simply wraps his arms around Bucky and picks him up, covers and all. Bucky is so surprised that he frees his legs from the warm armour and wraps them around Steve’s waist.

Without breaking a sweat — both because of the superserum and also because the cabin is a North Pole — Steve sits down on the mattress so Bucky ends up in his lap.

“It should get warmer in a bit with the fire and all. I also made us some tea,” Steve says, kissing the tip of Bucky’s nose. “I’m sorry this trip turned out to be shit.”

For the first time in hours, Bucky doesn’t know what to say.

Maybe his boyfriend is not a complete dumbfuck after all. 

He can be pretty OK sometimes.

“Well,” Bucky starts. “You did get punched in the head a lot during the course of your life. So I guess all those stupid ideas are not completely your fault.”

“Jerk,” Steve says but his eyes are laughing.

Bucky unwraps his flesh hand from under the blankets and presses it to Steve’s chest, his fingers resting over his heart. “Really, though. It’s not your fault. And it’s not shit. You put so much work to get us here and I’ve been doing nothing but complaining.  But besides the fact that my balls will probably freeze and fall off, I really love it here. I’m happy to be here with you.” Bucky looks up at Steve and sends him a little smile. “Heating or no heating.”

“Buck! This is the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me!”

“And now you’ve ruined it. I take it all back and I can’t wait to go home,” Bucky grumbles but he can’t help a grin from appearing on his face. He rolls onto his side and gets comfortable on the pillows, straightening his covers over himself. Steve lays on his side, propped on his elbow so he’s still facing Bucky. They’re quiet for a while, the only noises being the soft crackling of the fire and the wind blowing outside the cabin.

“I was thinking,” Bucky says after a moment. “If you take me back to Alps and let me freeze to death here,” Steve rolls his eyes so hard Bucky is worried he strained a muscle. “I think it’s only fair that I take you back to the Potomac and try to drown you when we get back to New York.”

“My God, you’re so dramatic,” Steve sighs. “Why do I even still put up with you?”

“Because of my good looks, sharp wit and killer thighs,” Bucky prompts with a grin.

Steve only shakes his head in response and leans down to kiss him. Bucky — being the generous boyfriend that he is — let's him.

"Will you let me into that blanket fort of yours?" Steve asks, still hovering over Bucky. "You’ll be warmer if I cuddle you."

"Sure," Bucky snorts. "I know you long enough to know it's not cuddles you want. You want to take off my socks and I've told you it's not happening."

"I truly don't care about your socks, Bucky," Steve puts his arm around the bundle of covers that hides Bucky's waist somewhere. "Although you've mentioned that there's something on the verge of freezing and falling off so maybe I should check how that’s doing."

"Dear lord," Bucky sighs heavily. "I can't believe that I've been hearing similar nonsense coming out of your mouth for ages and still one day I looked at you and thought 'Yes. That's the idiot I want to spend my life with'."

"I always admired your wisdom," Steve tries to remain serious but he fails miserably.

As soon as Bucky picks up the edge of his covers, Steve slips under them. He wraps his arms around Bucky and pulls him closer, resting his chin on top of Bucky's head after pressing a kiss there. They stay like this for a while. Bucky sighs constantly, burrowing his nose in Steve’s neck. The warmth from the fireplace is nice enough that Bucky eventually starts gradually peeling off his layers, one blanket at a time.

A bit later he lets Steve check — very thoroughly — if he’s not frostbitten anywhere.

.

Title: Wrap me up (in your love) Creator(s): niallhoranbitches Card number: 065 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27633244 Square filled: A2 - Potomac River Rating: Teen and Up Archive warnings: None Major tags: Established Relationship, Canon Divergent, Winter Fluff Summary: Bucky would lie if he said he didn't feel at least a bit tempted by the idea of the two of them holed up in some cosy, remote place. He didn't get killed (twice), brainwashed and scarred for life to deny himself a nice winter retreat with the love of his life. But maybe he should. Because he always knew that Steve would be the death of him. And yet, here he is, over 90 years later, having learned nothing. Word count: 1997

[heathered-beinn]

BTS American Hustle Life Ep4

Ep 3 recap: BTS are in LA to learn about hip hop. During that episode they met their dance teacher, Jenny Kita. She set them a few challenges including a solo demonstration, a dance battle against professional dancers, and the task of choreographing a dance routine in small groups. J-Hope’s dance skills shone the brightest throughout which was both a surprise and a delight! Jin, despite being the least proficient dancer in the band, tried really hard and it paid off in the final challenge – he and J-Hope were deserving winners.

We also started to see the friendships between the band members more, which was quite lovely. I really hope this continues in the series.

 On to Episode 4!

Holy cow, that dorm is an absolute pigsty. Ewwww! The amount of water bottles alone makes me want to cry.

Lol, I wonder how RM and Jimin ended up having to clean the dorm up?

They did a good job with it though and somehow managed to find some fun in between. The bathroom scene was hilarious!

Like last episode Jimin appears to have dropped some of his mask. Maybe I’m just seeing things but in this ep he just seems a little softer around the edges - more playful rather than loud and over-the-top. I think RM is good company for him. I’m not sure how to word it without accidentally making it look like I think the other lads treat him poorly (which I don’t believe they do!!) but I think RM is quite respectful to Jimin? As the leader RM’s attention will be pulled in many directions and when he can give spare undivided attention he probably spends it more on his elder bandmates as they are closer to his own age. However, I get the sense that when he does focus on Jimin he does it with the kind of patience and gentleness that the others are maybe not quite so liberal with? That’s not to say he won’t tease Jimin or joke around with him (he does) but so far it comes across as a little warmer than the others perhaps because he’s naturally gentler in nature? I’m probably talking out my **** here but that’s just what I’ve sensed.

One final thing: Jimin’s English is really improving!

So while Jimin and RM are cleaning the dorm, Suga, V, and Jungkook are on laundry duty. LMAO how is that fair? I was thinking that the “chores” were punishment for losing the challenge in Ep3 but Jimin and RM were so close to winning and yet seem to have been given the worst chore?

LOL, how can those three lads make laundry seem so complicated??

They really are big kids – I’m glad they can find ways to have fun though. But ewwwwwwwwww Jungkook, the 3/5/7/10 second rule is a myth, don’t eat things off the ground – particularly in a foreign country!!

Woah!!! they licked each other’s ice creams without hesitation!

To be honest I think it is more of a reflection on my own culture rather than theirs that this seemed so surprising to me. Generally sharing food without the ‘ew that’s got your spit on’ and other hang-ups – particularly between boys - ends around 8-10 years old here.

Jungkook sweetie, I really doubt you’ve put on much weight – are you sure you haven’t just grown another few inches? It certainly looks like you’ve grown. At this point you might end up towering over Suga and Jimin.

Ah so Jin and J-Hope are food shopping. So maybe these chores are not punishments for losing the challenge. I’d still like to know how Jimin and RM got the short straw to clean the dorm lol.

Oh good grief, BTS cooking – after their challenge in the first series I dread to think what poor concoction they’re going to come up with.

OK so J-Hope’s cheese sticks verdict… V = X, RM = XX, Jimin (so cute as he bounded over like an excited puppy) = too polite to use his new English word “disgusting”

Jin’s ham on toast concoction: LMAO at Jin blowing on the forkful before feeding Jimin. No comment on Jimin’s tongue action though…

It seemed to taste okay judging by Jimin’s reaction. RM does not agree lol. It was cute how Jin was feeding the rest of the toast to Jimin and Jungkook like a parent feeding infants.

After what I wrote earlier about RM it’s nice to see the other lads interacting with Jimin more. I wonder if some of the impatience that occasionally comes across is simply down to the editing?

So we move on to a new day and the whole group are heading to Long Beach by foot. Crikey, Jungkook looks like he’s grown another inch over night!! Why on earth is he wearing two layers in the LA heat???!!

It’s great to see that BTS are still ‘star struck’ by celebrities. I guess, back then, the band were not that well known – at least not like they are now. They certainly did not cross my radar – not like 1D did.

LMAO – V randomly saying he drooled when he saw Warren G. What?????!!!!

Warren G seems a great guy; very chill and calm with the band. *Again I’m going to say it but I love how BTS have the confidence to say another man looks handsome like they did when admiring the photo in the record store*

Yeah Warren G is a really decent guy.

There’s something fundamentally poetic in the way that Jimin said of Warren G, Snoop Dogg, Nate, (in a tone of amazement and disbelief) “They were just elementary kids but became legends”. I mean, BTS were once ‘elementary school’ kids and while, in that moment, Jimin did not know how big the band would get, the same sentiment applies to BTS.

So their new challenge is to write lyrics based on their own lives to Regulate.

Good boys; slapping on the sunscreen – thumbs up for skin care!

Oh good grief Jin, if the American dorm is slowly becoming like your Korean dorm then I shudder to think what state your Korean dorm is in!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oooh so the band are opening up a little about their lives in order to make lyrics for their rap.

After a bit of travelling by bus and making friends with the locals, Jin and J-Hope settle down in a park to talk. We learn Jin started off acting and not singing? Now that’s interesting! Not all of BTS had joining a band or even BTS’ music style in mind from the beginning. Jin also has a brother and he was into hip hop so Jin had some knowledge of it before joining the band.

J-Hope’s turn and he admitted when he first joined the band everyone was a rapper and he was the only dancer which made him feel remote.

This, again, is really interesting to learn as this was the scenario I was pinning on Jimin – unless there were different BTS members back when J-Hope joined? I really don’t know how the band was formed so I hope at some point they talk about this. I liked how Jin admitted he was surprised to hear about J-Hope feelings. They should talk like that more often.

RM and Jimin travel to another part of town – near the school/college that some of the most famous rappers in the music industry attended. I really like the motto of the building “Enter to learn go forth to serve”. I’m not American so I don’t know it’s true connotations but to me it’s simple and strangely compelling. Like; ‘We don’t care who you are either come in and learn and repay by using it to serve the community - or travel forth on down the street and sign up for the army and serve that way. There’s a purpose for everyone.”

RM and Jimin talking <3

Jimin’s answer to what he found difficult when he joined the band is fascinating. While the translation felt a little off, it reads as he cares a lot about what others think of him and doesn’t want to let anyone down or let any of his (self-perceived) shortcomings hold others back. In order to achieve this he spent a lot of time trying to catch up or improve so that no one could easily spot his weaknesses. Ultimately, he wants to care less what others think of him so he can lose some of the pressure? I really think there is a lot more to this “want to care less about what others think” than the vague answer he gave (or was edited in). His starting phrase “I should live quietly for the sake of my team” was quite a loaded sentiment and didn’t quite follow what he said next – definitely some careful editing there.

RM’s sentiment echoes this. He talked about seeing a very over-weight man walking around LA topless and admired the man’s confidence to not care what other people thought. RM wants some of that confidence to stop constantly watching out for what others thought about him. This is the type of pressure many celebrities talk about a lot. In my opinion, any one remotely “famous” are seen as role models (rightly or wrongly) and society holds them to ridiculous standards. Make one mistake and that’s you cancelled like you are some item in a shop that can be returned for a refund. I personally think people have a very skewed idea about what makes a ‘role model’. For me, a role model shouldn’t be perfect but when they do make mistakes they should own up to it, apologise, and attempt to fix or make up for any hurt caused. We, as their fans, need to relearn how to accept an apology, forgive human errors, allow people to learn, and move on. Min rant over.

Moving on: Suga, V, and Jungkook are down near the beach front discussing their lyrics. The way V instantly thought of his Dad tells me he’s quite family orientated. It was touching the way he said he made him the person he was today.

Jungkook’s thoughts where based more on his internal thoughts of himself as a person and a musician. It was very honest of him to admit that back home he’d been pretty confident of his talent but once he joined (BigHit?) he quickly realised there was a lot of people with as much, if not more, talent than him and it knocked his confidence. I wish Suga had spoke more about his own thoughts rather than just write the lyrics.

 Challenge Day:

To be fair, all three groups rose to the challenge and not only had some great lyrics but sounded polished and rehearsed. We only got snippets of the songs but from what we did hear I would struggle to pick a winner. I guess, for me, it would feel like picking one’s persons’ struggles over another’s. Hard to judge.

Lol at Suga oversharing about being in the toilet when he was writing *crying with laughter face*

Awww, Suga, V, and Jungkook won. They definitely tried harder with this challenge than the one in ep 3 so I felt it was deserved.

Final musings:

Another interesting episode. I think the band learned a lot more about hip hop this episode and Warren G was a real gent. We also learned more about each band member in terms of their thoughts and experiences when joining the band. We (I) also learned more about their personalities which hadn’t been so clear in previous eps and series. I think the editing can misconstrue some moments so I’m probably going to re-evaluate my musings on each band member from time to time – this is a good thing though!

Looking forward to ep 5!

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 258: Have You Thanked Your Twice Today

Previously on BnHA: All Might gave Deku a book with all of the previous OFA successors’ names, quirks, and career stats. Kacchan barely glanced at the book and was all “nah, boring” and JUST LIKE THAT he decided we’re not gonna get any new info, which I don’t think is very fair or considerate Kacchan but whatever!! Anyway though, All Might did reveal that Nana could fly and so Deku is going to learn to fly, so that’s fucking awesome, and then Kacchan and Deku had a moment of being bratty siblings together which I framed and put on my wall, so that was also very enjoyable. Back at the 1-A dorms we learned that Todoroki can’t cook, and the kids had a New Year’s party and talked about how they’re gonna be second years soon and how everything is just SO GREAT AND GOOD AND LIFE IS GOOD, and elsewhere All Might sat outside the teacher’s dorms and had a gorgeous fucking conversation with Aizawa that gave me all the feels. The chapter then ended with a THREE MONTH TIMESKIP to late March when apparently everything is about to go to shit. So yeah. Quite a lot to process there.

Today on BnHA: Hawks spends basically the entire chapter very slowly explaining to us that he became best friends with Twice, and it paid off dividends on account of Twice deciding that Hawks is definitely trustworthy and he should definitely tell him exactly where Tomura is off hiding in the mountains of Kyoto, because that’s the kind of extremely sensitive strategic intel that real best friends don’t keep from one another! Can you guys believe Hawks spent all that time trying to cozy up to fucking Dabi of all people when this whole time Twice was right fucking there. I bet you Twice would never have asked him to kill Best Jeanist and tote around his remains in a knapsack. Anyway so the chapter ends with the heroes launching what I assume is a surprise attack in where I assume is Kyoto, which probably explains that whole “on that day the heroes vanished” bit from the previous chapter. So let’s all wish them good luck, especially because THEY BROUGHT THE FUCKING KIDS WITH THEM GODDAMMIT. Oh my babies. Please be safe.

so I think I’m gonna go back to the Friday schedule since it just works better for me. just gotta remember to take the translations with a grain of salt, but all in all the quality last week wasn’t too bad, and overall the pros outweigh the cons

(ETA: the quality actually went down a lot this time honestly, but Friday still > Sunday in terms of me having the time to read this, so it is what it is.)

well this is interesting!

“in the absence of Endeavor” ? ??? the what now??? “oh yeah did we forget to mention, he’s gone now. we did some focus groups and made a few tweaks based on what the fans said they wanted.” well shit. let this be a warning to you all. it can happen JUST LIKE THAT

um. but I mean, that’s all well and good but uhhhh. [nervous glance toward Ujiko, Tomura, the 100k army, and the 11 noumus] ...

but maybe he’s just absent for the cover though. (ETA: yeah this makes a lot more sense after reading the last page of this chapter lol.) anyway so here we have everyone flying, as all good heroes do, including Deku who doesn’t really need that floating quirk after all I suppose, since he can jump real good. BUT IT’S STILL NICE FOR HIM TO HAVE IT SO SHHH

also the flower!Kacchan eyes are becoming more and more frequent lately. Horikoshi is really having a lot of fun with that

and now we’re going back roughly two months ago! which is still the future as far as I’m concerned! so this is really weird to have a “flashback” that basically still takes place after where we last left off. but whatever

“a week after the ‘hospital’ tip” well thank you, that certainly does help. so Twice is jogging in and beckoning to his best bud Hawks so Hawks is like “?” and walking over

(ETA: this has absolutely nothing to do with anything, but I just wanted to say that it’s very possible this flashback is actually taking place on Shouto’s birthday -- January 11th -- given the timing, so happy birthday Shouto! you are getting so big!)

lol see this is one of those times where the whole ‘translation of a translation’ thing doesn’t really work sob. even with context I’m not quite sure wtf Twice is actually asking, but at any rate this at least does give us an idea of how the rest of the League is spending their time now that they’ve completed their whole villain corporate merger

so Spinner and Compress, who actually have a few brain cells to rub together between the two of them, are already deeply involved in running things, and meanwhile Giran, Dabi, and Toga don’t really give a shit and so are content to sit back and wait until their services are actually needed. incidentally I like to think Giran spends a good chunk of his free time just tormenting ReDestro in a bunch of really small and petty ways. like making him get his coffee, and having him call and cancel his cable subscription and stuff. it’s just nice

guys I have no idea wtf is going on in these four panels honestly

well you heard him. that’s the situation. nobody trusts Twice (or was he talking about Hawks?), and meanwhile he has to go poo. not exactly where I thought this chapter would be picking up after that fun little cliffhanger last week, but just goes to show this series truly is a magical Kinder Egg and you never know what you’re gonna get!

so Hawks is explaining for my benefit that Twice was apparently doing an impression of some guy named “Sanctum” who is the oldest member of the MLA

holy shit it took Hawks a whole month to figure out all of the Pliff members? I’m just gonna pass then. thankfully I’m not a spy and I don’t have the fate of the free world depending on me memorizing the organizational chart of a bunch of really boring people whom I really do not give the slightest fuck about. anyway godspeed Hawks

oh no

son of a bitch. we’re in for another long fucking arc aren’t we lmao. well all right then let’s go ahead and do the rundown

Black 1: Fuhrer King Bradley

Black 2: Flying Ace

Black 3: Mother Ginger

Violet 1: Super Mario and Just A Bald Man

Violet 2: Predator and Best Sweaterist

Violet 3: Vizard and Gang Badger

in conclusion, Horikoshi will never stop making Alien/Predator references, and I’m also seeing some strong FMA and Bleach influence here as well. hell, the Mario guy even reminds me of some of the fishman characters from One Piece. so basically we’re all over the place here

other observations: “the new world movement”, huh? are they moving on from PLF at long last? I’ll take Newm over Pliff any day tbh

and so they have a tactical force and a raid force. now that’s interesting as fuck, because who exactly are they planning to raid? now that’s a nice disturbing question to ponder

lastly, the black and violet color schemes are very interesting and I wonder if there’s any significance there that’s going over my head lol. for now I just think it sounds cool regardless

-- MOTHERFUCKER THERE’S A WHOLE NOTHER PAGE OF THIS SHIT FUCK ME I FUCKING QUIT

goddammit. fine

Carmine 1: Lefty Hair and Gerudo Princess

Carmine 2: Slidin’ Go Away and R2-D2

and I can’t see Carmine 3, oh well. meanwhile on the other side we’ve got:

Cleveland 1: Praying Mantis and Righty Hair

Cleveland 2: Jawa and Just Happy To Be Here

and last but not least, Cleveland 3: Badger’s Revenge

what I have learned from this is that I don’t really know what a badger looks like and so any remotely rodent-looking animal person with stripes on their face is going to be slapped with that label because I don’t have time to research what would be a more appropriate animal nickname unless we want to be here until next week. anyway

haha Hawks what the fuck

well that sure is encouraging. so how exactly are the heroes supposed to get the drop on them then? basically we’re fucked, is what you’re saying. well we all been knew so whatever

so Hawks is monologuing to himself about how he was able to nice his way into learning all of the army’s members without getting caught, and in the process he observed how all of the members are all “FUCK THE SYSTEM”, which they definitely have a point about but are also definitely going about the wrong way holy shit

so now he’s feeding some good rabble-rousing lines to Twice who is eating them up

yeah, because Twice famously loves ReDestro lol, oh wait

so Twice is all “I don’t wanna say something that’s not from the heart” because he is PURE and not a Sneaky Sam like SOME PEOPLE! but he understands Hawks’s point that he basically just has to butter them up and tell them what they want to hear, and now he’s running off with a hearty thanks

fffffson of a --

like, you all can see the breakdown in logic that occurred here, right? “some heroes are corrupt” -- absolutely! “kill all heroes” -- wait, what

like obviously there are some real world parallels here. but I very much get the feeling that the PLF/NWM’s movement is fueled less by sentiments of “our law enforcement system is trigger-happy, racist, void of empathy, and think they’re above the law” and more by the notion of “our self-proclaimed superiority gives us the right to do whatever we want and trumps other people’s right to be safe and free, particularly if those people are unfortunate enough to not have quirks.” like, there are a lot of other nuances we could get into here, but that’s basically the gist of it, so yeah. these guys are not to be sympathized with here

and now there’s a big double page spread basically confirming that what these guys really want is blood and anarchy

and the really interesting thing here to me is that we can see Tomura standing at the front of the pack in that bottom right panel. but on the very next panel, with the close-up of Hawks looking as serious as we’ve ever seen him, he basically says that the endgame of all this, the ultimate outcome that this is all meant to bring into place, is one thing and one thing only

yep. well fuck

anyway I have no idea why he’s thanking Twice, but I’m gonna go ahead and guess he unknowingly did something which might give the heroes the potential glimmer of hope which they desperately need. so I will go ahead and thank you too, Twice. you’re a good guy buddy

oh wow there’s a whole page of more meta about Twice! -- and OH SHITTTTTTT

LKDsjflkjsdlfklskgjlskjlfkjsdlfk oh my fkfdjflk how did this never occur to me, just. FSDKLFLSIFKjk

hahaha. :’) holy fucking shit. they have to take him out. they can’t win otherwise. the heroes are already screwed enough as it is with just one Tomura and eleven high ends to contend with; if Twice is able to use his quirk to multiply that exponentially, we can basically kiss the world goodbye. fuck

but Hawks came to realize that Twice is actually a good guy though as echoed above! which, yeah, and can you imagine if he wasn’t, though? shiiit

oh my god they are so cute

listen, I won’t lie, I’m reading this for my 1-A children first and foremost, so there’s a part of me that’s like “HOW MANY MORE PAGES ARE WE GOING TO GET OF THIS JESUS CHRIST.” but there’s no denying that Jin is a good turnip and his unexpected friendship with Hawks -- which I am happy to report is now confirmed to be genuine! because Hawks really does like him! -- is a delight to witness

OH MY GOD TWICE LMAO

“HERE, LET ME JUST DRAW YOU A MAP! (⌒∇⌒。)ANYTHING FOR YOU, BEST FRIEND”

holy fucking shit Twice. did you just save all our asses you beautiful bastard

so between this, and the “hospital” clue, that could be enough to track him down, couldn’t it? no wonder Hawks was so pumped after getting that call. what are the odds this chapter ends with the start of a hero-led raid on a hospital in Kyoto. oh shit oh shit oh shit

lolol oh fuck me

I swear to god Horikoshi if you end this bromance by having Hawks kill Twice for the sake of the greater good, I’ll. ... well I sure as hell won’t like that. please do not

AND JUST LIKE THAT WE’RE BACK TO SPRINGTIME OH MY GOD

what a time to enter the first fucking grade Dai-kun. godspeed little man. I love the little detail that he’s holding an Endeavor plush while looking at the All Might statue. drawing strength from both heroes. aww

and then of course we have this fucking march of heroes which I can only hope is them heading to that hospital! no wonder they all vanished. they all ran off to Kyoto to try and put a stop to the villains’ plans before it’s too late

but I don’t see any of the kiddos there, though? don’t tell me the villains are gonna try something while the adults are away and leave the kids to deal with it all on their own

oh shit no!!! hold up!!

DON’T TELL ME THEY REALLY DID BRING THE KIDS WITH THEM ON THE EXTREMELY DANGEROUS “TIME TO GET OUR ASSES HANDED TO US BY NOUMURAKI TOMURA” MISSION NOOO MY BABIESSS

oh thank god

at least they don’t have the child soldiers on the front fucking lines, fucking christ

AHHHHHHHHH

SAY A PRAYER FOR KATSUKI’S WINTER COSTUME, EVERYONE. BE AT PEACE, SLEEVES OF GONDOR. FAREWELL BEST JEANIST TRIBUTE COLLAR

is this T chest thing on Shouto’s costume new? I can’t imagine that serves any sort of practical function whatsoever; he was probably just tired of looking boring

BUT!!!! those gloves, though!!?! now those are definitely new and I fucking love them. again I can’t really see them having much of a practical application given his quirk, but there is nothing wrong with upgrading oneself just to look sharp! boy wanted a facelift so he went out and got one

that’s some nice Anime Protagonist Wind they’ve got going on there in the mountains of Kyoto. real epic shit

1-B is there too!! and also Hadou, I think, unless that’s Pony? so that’s fucking awesome. we will certainly need all hands on deck

so that’s it for the chapter! not much happened, but we got a lot of Twice appreciation and learned that the heroes still have a few tricks up their sleeves! can’t wait to see how this will all go disastrously wrong. if you ask me, it’s probably when they decided that the best way to launch a surprise attack was to have fifty Endeavor-led guys gather all together and march up Main Street. but far be it from me to tell the heroes how to do their job I guess. best of luck not dying everyone

[bigskydreaming]

TFW you realize you relate more to a fave character than you ever actually consciously realized, lmao. 

So I was just having a remote therapy session, and we were focusing on just some mental pain management techniques since my stupid metabolism makes most pain meds largely useless and my head has been waging all out warfare on me for the past week and a half, lololol. And we were delving into one of my personal fave rants, which is the fact that so many people - including vaunted medical professionals - just fundamentally don’t seem to get that having a high pain tolerance does not mean you don’t like, FEEL pain unless its really a lot or intense. Its just that you’re hard-wired/trained/geared via stuff like an abusive childhood, lol, to not SHOW or DISPLAY any visible or audible pain cues unless the pain reaches a certain high threshold where its impossible to hold them back.

But particularly over the past four or five years, with my ongoing medical shit, its super obnoxious trying to get your doctors to display a sense of urgency about your condition because they’re just fundamentally not grasping the degree of chronic pain you’re dealing with every day, since, y’know....I can literally be sitting there in the doctor’s chair and conversationally talking about the fact that no, I definitely am currently feeling like, an eight or nine out of ten on the pain scale, please don’t be confused by the fact that I’m literally LOLing as I describe this to you rather than gasping and moaning in a more obvious indication of it. 

Its like, I’m not TRYING to undersell it or anything, its just, when you grow up since the time you’re like five or six years old, knowing damn well that the only appropriate response to someone asking ‘oh am I hurting you’ that won’t earn you MORE pain is a completely casual or cavalier sounding ‘nope, I’m fine, all good here, no problems.’......like, at a certain point in your development, that becomes pretty hard-wired in, like, you can’t shake it just because you consciously WANT to. (Though it is one of the things I’m trying to unlearn and ‘rewire’ in therapy now, via EMDR techniques aimed at like, literally reprogramming my nervous system and how I react to various stimuli. Its.....slow progress, lmao, but I mean there is some progress so its all good).

But point being, when you’re a physically abused kid and your physical abuser doesn’t want to believe or accept that they’re hurting you, and so they tended to just get angrier and MORE dangerous if they thought you were indicating or even just ‘implying’ that they were in fact hurting you.....you get pretty damn good at not showing even the slightest hint of pain or distress unless its literally a level you’ve never experienced before and thus have no practical experience in hiding or distracting yourself from.

But that doesn’t mean you don’t FEEL every bit of it. It doesn’t mean you’ve found a magical off-switch that means you can just mind-over-body yourself from acknowledging or being aware that you are in fact in a shit ton of pain. You just.....have learned the importance of masking it, and found ways to do that by necessity.

Except, even much later in life when you are in a safe place or more control of your situations or surroundings, there’s no easy way to just....stop putting that mask on by default, the second you’re experiencing any type of pain. And so even when dealing with medical professionals, too many of them just don’t GET that their vaunted ‘tell me how much pain you’re in from one to ten’ scale isn’t really the be-all and end-all of pain measurement, because its subjective and arbitrary as HELLLLLLLLL.....and one of the defining parameters for what that pain scale looks like and feels like for YOU, is....your personal history with pain and how you’re ‘comfortable’ displaying evidence of it. (And I know there’s a ton of people and even groups of people who can relate to this for entirely different reasons, I just can only speak to my own of course). 

But its definitely frustrating and invalidating as hell to be in more pain than many people ever experience in their lives, and TRYING to convey that as openly and honestly as you can.....and literally being able to SEE the doubt and dismissal in doctors’ eyes, because all they’re seeing is the visual cues you’re putting out there and which they equate to ‘can’t possibly be in THAT much pain, not if he’s acting this casual about it’.....

And so the frustrating irony is that you end up dismissed as like, a pain ‘lightweight’ who is complaining about an apparent degree of pain that’s barely anything in their ‘professional’ estimation. And thus they’re disinclined to take your requests for heavier or more effective pain medication seriously, or not impressed by your attempts to imbue a greater sense of urgency in their approach to your treatment plan or procedures, etc......when in reality, the only reason you’re showing those cues of not being in that much pain is because you’re MORE used to and familiar with even extremely high degrees of pain than anything a lot of them are accustomed to.

Its invalidating as hell, being treated as though you have no idea what you’re talking about when you say “I am actually in a shit ton of active, ongoing pain, hey thanks, can we maybe do something about this,” when actually, the disconnect comes from you having MORE experience with MORE pain than some of them can even fathom. You just....also have more experience with reasons not to SHOW that pain, if its at all avoidable to any degree whatsoever.

THAT’S what high pain tolerance actually means, and the sheer volume of medical professionals who just flat out don’t get this, or worse, just don’t care or are too proud to reassess their viewpoints on this matter if that carries the implication they don’t actually know as much as they think they do......god, it grates.

(Once, when I was around twenty-three or twenty-four I think, I got caught up in the periphery of a bar fight that resulted in me getting a shard of glass embedded in the back of my forearm. Still have a pretty sizable scar from it. And it absolutely hurt like fuck, but I was conscious as paramedics arrived on scene and when going to the hospital to have it removed and stitched up, and like......kinda cracking jokes about it the whole time because I was uncomfortable as hell and didn’t really know what else to do or how to react, y’know? I mean, I had a few inches of glasses jutting out from the top of my forearm, lol, what the hell are you supposed to do or say about that? There’s not really a protocol, lmao. Problem was, they took one look at me sitting there with this spear of glass sticking out of my arm and making dumb jokes about it like it was no big deal......and they decided this meant I was in shock and kept trying to treat me accordingly. And it was just like.....useless, because lol no I wasn’t in shock, I had none of the physical symptoms of being in shock and benefited from none of their assumptions that I was.....I was just a dude with a shard of glass in his arm that hurt like fuck and I really wanted it out as soon as possible, and I was in full awareness of what had happened and everything I was feeling, I just didn’t know how to convey this in a way that they would believe, because I couldn’t come up with anything to say or do other than laugh about how fucking surreal the whole situation was.)

Anyway, so circling back to the point, or as much of one as I ever have, so today I was just learning and practicing various mental pain management/coping techniques with my therapist and discussing my issues with doctors and the High Pain Tolerance Quandary. Basically like, I would really truly like to know or learn how to display the ‘expected’ physical and visual/audio cues for being a person who is experiencing a ‘4′ on the pain scale, versus a person who is experiencing a ‘7′ or a ‘10′.....so they can stop fucking treating me like I’m only at a 4 when I’m actually at an 8 or 9, just because I look and sound like a person who really is only at a 4 no matter what they actually CLAIM to be feeling.

Course, easier said than done.

But yeah, so as she was coaching me through various techniques and surveying what I was doing with my body and facial expressions and cues, etc, she pointed out something that I had literally never noticed about myself before, even though once she DID point it out I could recognize that its something I’ve been doing for as long as I can remember, well back before I was ten and no doubt stemming from smack dab in the midst of the worst of my childhood abuse.

So, y’know on Teen Wolf, how Scott and Liam and various others are at times shown digging their claws into their palms and drawing blood to ground themselves with the pain? (And ironically, how I was just talking the other week about photo doubling for a similar such scene with gashes in the character’s palms, lmfao). Well, obviously I don’t have claws, and part of why I’d never really paid much attention to when I was doing it is because even my therapist wasn’t comfortable classifying it as a kind of self-harm or anywhere near punitive enough to carry that kind of weight or associations.....

But like, I’ve always kept my fingernails fairly trimmed but not completely. Like, just enough of an edge to them that at times, particularly when I’m in physical pain or distress already, I’ll just like....dig my fingernails into the pad of other fingertips, and use that little familiar spike of pain to not ground myself but rather distract myself from whatever else I was feeling. Like, she wasn’t comfortable calling it a self-punitive technique because as we got into it, it was clear I was never doing it to CAUSE myself pain....rather, its something I only do when I’m already in pain, usually far more pain than anything that brings up.....but by deliberately doing that and creating a focal awareness around it, even just a largely subconscious one......I’ve apparently long been using that to hook my attention up to a very specific, very manageable sensation/focal point of pain that lets me and my ADHD brain relegate whatever other pain I’m feeling (even if its much much worse) to the back of my mind for at least a little while, as I distract myself by focusing on this more obvious and consciously directed bit of lesser pain. 

And a big part of why I probably never noticed I was doing this, we eventually concluded, is because as a kid I probably came up with it as a kind of survival technique specifically BECAUSE it was something I could do to distract myself/manage my pain covertly, without drawing my abuser’s attention to what I was doing either. And by extension, without the fact that I was doing it at all 'betraying’ that I was in pain or trying to manage or cope with painful sensations in the first place. A lot of other pain management techniques, like even just deep, deliberate breaths, tend to be a lot more obvious and noticeable, and thus would have been counter-productive for my specific purposes. No matter how much they helped me manage whatever physical pain I was feeling, they would have at the same time inevitably drawn attention to the fact that I was trying to do that at all in the first place....and thus only invite more pain. 

Merely digging my fingernails into my fingertip pads, not enough to draw blood or make me cry out or anything like that, but rather just to distract myself and deliberately focus me on a source of pain I could deal with and more easily handle, as well as being ‘low in intensity’ enough that focusing on it didn’t bring any other obvious visual or audio pain cues to the forefront.....that I could do without anyone noticing. And thus this is likely why it came to be my go-to move whenever I was in any kind of pain at all, as just a quick and easy way to wrap my head around my physical sensations and shift focus to something more easily dealt with or managed (even if it didn’t actually dismiss or get rid of whatever other pain I’m feeling entirely). And just the low-key nature of it in general likely being a big part of why it became such an unconscious instinct for me until now, something that barely even registered in my conscious mind as I built up/hard-wired instinctive responses that incorporated it without me having to consciously direct myself to do that.

I mean, its still obviously not an ideal response, especially when I’m long past being stuck in any kind of external situations or need to fall back on that and the covert nature of it. So now its another of those things to just be aware of and work on rewiring on an instinctive level, making it a priority for me to focus on consciously using more helpful and positive methods of pain management.

But it was just interesting to me to have it pointed out as something I’ve been doing all this time, let alone being as unaware of doing it as I’ve apparently been. And its not hard to draw obvious parallels to when characters in media I consume do similar things even if for not quite the same reasons or in quite the same ways. So now I’m just kinda contemplating that and wondering how much even just some degree of unconscious awareness that I do that might have made me more alert to when characters or other people do similar things. Made me more attuned to noticing or even fixating on moments when they do things like that, that I related to even on an entirely subconscious level.

*Shrugs* Anyway, that’s all, like, literally not going anywhere with this, was just unwinding and felt like mapping my way through that all contemplatively, because oh no, inexplicable strangeness, therapy puts me in particularly contemplative headspaces, whodathunkit, lmfao. *Shrugs* Just struck me as particularly interesting, so felt like sharing for anyone else who can relate/see similar parallels themselves.

Or just chalk it up to random anecdotal wtf-ery from your friendly (err, mostly. okay sometimes. FINE ideally, let’s go with that) neighborhood over-sharer. 

[zitkaplushie]

nightwing secret files liveblog:

this is gonna be a long one so it’s under a cut!

taking wing-

is that jason??

i like this 'a christmas carol' type exposition i'm ngl

i'm not sure if 'jason''s dismissal of the circus is dixon using an unreliable narrator, or if dixon actually believes that

god i hate this art so much

how dare u insult the teen titans in any way 😤 i like the name

also titans cameo!!

more awful jason characterisation (pls dixon just stay 8732894738 feet away from jason)

"without robin i have no family" i guess the titans are just chopped liver huh

"i always thought that one day i'd be batman" nope nope nope nope you have 0 understanding of dick's character if that's what you think mr dixon

i love clark having a part in dick becoming nightwing - i adore it - but the way dixon retcons the importance of the titans, and especially kory, in dick becoming nightwing rubs me the complete wrong way. i'm choosing to read this as a between the scenes moment, but i 100% dixon intended this to replace the titans' importance. and the way ppl just swallow it up w/o thinking about the reasons behind why dixon would want to erase the titans - and kory - pisses me off lmao

"i didn't mean to stay so long [with the titans]" *eternal screaming* he really wants to undermine the titans at every possible turn wow

at least the next page acknowledges the importance of kory in dick's life, but right afterwards we have "lmao she must've liked your costume. all the girls did. you're a chick magnet" (paraphrased) and i'm just back to sighing

also hi i'm mad at the framing of babs being the endgame bc of course they'd do that. and also at kory being shorter than dick. thanks! i hate it! i'm willing to bet that dixon asked for that specifically.

"this is where i came in" i'm confused at this part but tbh i don't care enough to think abt it any more

i'm also ughhhh at the way they're trying to give bludhaven importance. i don't care, i don't like it, he should've never moved there

ok i do really like that last page

the fact files things are good enough, i love the art for the haly's circus one! the pt barnum ref is 😬 though (ik ik it's the 90s but fjskdh why)

lost pages: teen titans-

ok so, i don't like devin grayson. i don't like her writing at all, i don't think she gets the characters at all, and hot take: if you dislike a character who's super important part of dick's life, and helped him come into his own and be who he is, you shouldn't be writing that character. (i'm talking about kory here, but tbh if you dislike any of the characters who dick interacts with frequently and are a huge part of his life - especially his love interests, and his family - you shouldn't be writing dick.) so i'm not going into this story with high hopes. however i've seen ppl talk about this story as being really good so i hope i'll like it too

you can tell she mostly cares about the fab five, which wouldn't be a problem if she treated the ntt characters better but alas ://

kory and vic both say 1 thing the entire page lmao

ALSO KORY NOT KNOWING WHAT DAY IT IS IS ABSOLUTE BULLSHIT I CANNOT BELIEVE

i loooove the parallel between dick grasping wally's hand and young!dick holding his dad's hand 🥺🥺🥺🥺

vic legit says one thing the entire story lmaoooooooo 🙃🙃🙃

i love garth and roy being brought to the tower 🥺

this is def some of grayson's better work, but it suffers from the same thing all of her stories do. she doesn't fully understand all the characters. if one character is off it affects the whole story. a lot of her stories have good ideas and poor execution, and this one definitely doesn't have awful execution but there's still something missing and as someone who loves the titans it's just sad. i get why people like this story - it made me tear up at the end ngl - but the rest of the titans are just as important as dick and it feels like the writer doesn't understand that. (i get this is a dick comic but it's still a titans story.) (it does however make me want to write a fic expanding upon this moment and the aftermath bc the idea of the titans all coming together to cheer dick up is so goooooood. are they gonna have a party celebrating dick's parent's lives? are they gonna eat junk food and watch a comfort movie? are they gonna just sit and talk?? the possibilities are endless!!)

the art is gorgeous as all of jimenez' art is, i love his style so freaking much!!

the next page is of the bludhaven supporting cast and all it does is remind me how much i do not care abt them. i think the only one i actually like is clancy, the others are expendable and forgettable. (i do love clancy a lot though, i wish she'd been written by more people than just dixon). though, i usually love guice's art, i think i actually prefer mcdaniel's take on clancy??? which is 100% a first for me.

i like seeing the set up to dick's apartment, bc i'm a sucker for layouts and maps. i wish this comic was way better written bc the concept of dick living in an apartment building and interacting with his neighbours is one i really like, esp in superhero comics. but again i have to say, alas.

a day in the life of nite-wing/hangin'-with tad:

painful... just painful...

i physically couldn't care less about this if you paid me

the next page is tad's file and i am Not Reading That. nope nope nope. and also fuck you.

next is a map of bludhaven, and like i said, i'm a sucker for maps.

the page after that is brutale's file and again i just do not care. the art is by damion scott who i really like, but the design looks like knock off scarecrow so

the next pages are files for double dare, lady vidc, shrike and blockbuster and i'm skipping them all bc i give negative fucks

next is a spread of what i assume is dick's cork-board? it looks kinda interesting but the writing is hard to make out and i don't care enough to try to decipher it

next is torque's files and same same, idc idc

nightwing's romances/orange you glad i didn't say banana?:

ok so y'all know i hate dickbabs. i hate everything about how it was built on the foundation of tearing down kory and dickkory and i'm a kory fan first and foremost so i hate this whole situation. so i'm already predisposed to disliking anything that talks about how babs is dick's true love, and talks down any of his other love interests. i come into this with an admitted bias. i'd try to be charitable but i don't see why i should when no one involved in the writing of dickbabs is charitable towards my faves so 🤷

i love love love stelfreeze's art! he's drawn babs in something else i read and i loved it then and i love it here!

i adore dick and babs' friendship, so the beginning is really sweet and cute. i also love the concept of baby!dickie being obsessed with watermelons and wanting to eat them forever

dewey decimal system!!! librarian babs reference!! fdjkh she's such a nerd i love it

babs trying to talk about romance and dick's like 'lol nah what abt fighting' lmao

i Do Not like babs hitting dick while talking abt 'i was segueing into talking about romance, hint hint'

this is romance? dick giving exactly 0 fucks?

why are these writers obsessed with hinting at dick and donna??? like first dixon and now grayson??? please stop!!!! i do love how he says he loves her bc 🥺🥺🥺 i love them

ur not being slick having babs call donna 'donna' and kory 'starfire', i see you grayson. i see ur hate for kory.

and reducing kory to just her body, and dick's sexual attraction to her boils my blood

i'm choosing to interpret babs's face in that panel as her being attracted to kory too

i do like that dick talks about being in love with kory, and thinking about still being with her. a) i'll take those crumbs, and b) thats how i see dick's relationship to love as being (though devin views him as kinda flighty and unfaithful so idk how we're agreeing on this lmao)

pls stop talking shit abt huntress devin, ur the one who made dick/hel a thing

since devin loves her brudick subtext, i'm side-eyeing the mention of bruce there

also why are we hinting at cass pls stop

babs being jealous and petty pls stop

the ending was smooth i have to admit it. if it was any other ship i'd probs love it but as it is, i'm tired of everyone else being downplayed in favour of the ~babs is dick's true loooooveee, it's always been herrrrr, from the beginningggggg~

i don't mind babs being dick's first crush though, in fact that's my hc for him because hello?? who wouldn't have a crush on babs??

thank you mr stelfreeze for accurately portraying babs' bitchface bc she's being a petty bitch here (and i love her but lmaooo i hate this whole thing)

next is the files on the bludhaven pd and i do not caaaare

then there's a timeline, but i don't care about any timeline that dixon writes. i'm petty though so i'm gonna read it and talk abt why i don't like the retcons.

i hate the dickbabs reference in YEAR FUCKING 3 jfc. pls stop with the retcons.

also lmao the difference between the way dick's canon relationship from that time is described in the shittiest way possible (though reluctant at first, dick begins a long and tumultuous romance with teammate starfire.) and how he wrote dick and babs' relationship (robin first teams with ... barbara in her guise as batgirl. the two will pair time and again over the course of their careers and develop a burgeoning affection for one another) this was at a time when they weren't even remotely interested in each other!!! there was no affections there dixon! no matter how much you wish it to be true!! and again the contrast with 'starfire' and 'barbara'! like it's dehumanising and i hate it.

and he can't even bother to get the new teen titans' team name right.

no mention of kory's importance in dick becoming nightwing, nope we ignore that bc it's thanks to superman now.

stepping away from the way he hates kory to talk about the way he hates jason! jason's described as a 'troubled orphan' and a 'juvenile delinquent'.

no mentions of how jason and dick bonded but as soon as tim gets introduced he talks about how dick and tim 'switfly bond as brothers'.

another incredibly impersonal description of dick and kory's relationship (the wedding of dick grayson and kory anders (aka starfire) is aborted by the rogue titan raven. dick and kory soon part company and dissolve their relationship.) but at least he calls her kory this time.

also i love how he speeds up through all the 'non important' development for dick but spends a whole page talking about all the bullshit he's been writing for nightwing. i understand why, but it's just lmaooooo 🙃 when you read it like that, it really shows how shitty this comic is.

talks of the 'doomed relationship' between dick and hel and i really hate it pls stop

the last page is dick's evaluation by the police academy and i do not care so i'm skipping it too.

[somethinginthethunder]

Unworthy of Your Love. [Brian May x Reader]

Hi yes I’ve cried and screamed about The Politician on Netflix for about 20 minutes straight and I’m still not okay so I decided to write this

If you haven’t checked out The Politician, please do. The story may not resonate with you, or the movement of it, but the message(s) may tell a different story.

Summary: Everywhere she turns, it seems the reader cannot be the best she can be.

TW: sadness/angst (sorry, I’m in a mood lmao), drinking/drunk reader, cheating

Word Count: 1,910 

Note: This is more of a vent one-shot. But I just thought I’d share it with you guys, so sorry if it isn’t good  or what was expected :/

Also, you can now anonymously ask me anything (since I forgot to allow it lmao) so ask my anything: requests, sequels, parters, hate, headcanons, or just drop in to say hi or smthn idk

-

You wanted to cry. You did. You could feel the tears welling up, but you held them back. You didn’t deserve to cry.

“Are you gonna explain yourself?” he said expectantly, his voice stiff and bitter, his tears still falling, though slower this time.

You opened your mouth as if you even knew how to start. All that came out was a small, “Brian...”

“No, Y/n. Why would you do that? Why would you be in another relationship while you’re still in one with me?” he interrupted.

His firmness startled you. In his hand were letters from Jacob, a guy who had been flirting with you, and who you had-- admittedly-- been flirting back to.

“He doesn’t mean anything to me, Brian, I swear,” you responded, your hands clenching.

“Oh, so you were just leading him on? Are you serious right now?” he hissed, running a hand through his curly locks. He paused to take in a breath, wiping his tears.

Minutes later, he was packing up a bag and heading out the door. The only other words he left to you were, “Call me when you’re ready to explain yourself. I’m not gonna pry that information out of you.”

You fell to your knees, a thud sounding as you stared blankly at the door. You placed your head in your hands, feeling the warmth of your tears warm your hands and arms as they ran down from your face.

-

You never called him. It had been 2 weeks.

You didn’t have the courage to show him what type of person you told yourself you were. Instead, you were at a bar, taking your next drink, which you probably shouldn’t have been. Your mind was fuzzy and you were just tired. You were tired of being tired. Tired of waking up to an empty bed. Tired of not hearing the peaceful tune of a guitar drift throughout your home as you got ready for the day.

Exhausted. You were exhausted. And it almost hurt to be.

“Y/n? Darling, is that you?” 

You turned your head to look at the person who had walked to you. It was Freddie. He was absolutely glowing with party-fever, a drink in his hand and dazzling clothes on as always.

You shut your eyes and exhaled, turning your head away from him, not giving him much of an answer as you sipped your drink.

“Love, how much have you had to drink? We’ve all been worried sick. E-Even Brian,” he continued.

You could only assume that Brian told them what happened, which only made you feel worse.

“It doesn’t matter,” you muttered to him.

Freddie’s frown deepened. He placed a hand on your back comfortingly.

“It does, actually. Y/n-”

Just then, Roger came into view, whispering to Freddie a little hurriedly. The rockstar sighed and looked out into the crowd. You couldn’t see to who.

“Really? He’s doing it now? Can’t you handle it?” he complained.

“Fred, he’s not gonna listen to me,” Roger snorted, clinking his drink with his friend, giving a nod to you, and then walking off.

“I’ve got to go handle John. You know how he can get sometimes. I’ll come back to talk to you, though, alright?” Freddie promised.

You gave a small nod, even though you barely even processed what he said.

Fred patted your back before leaving to go seek out the usually quiet bassist.

Downing your drink, you gave the bartender a tip before walking out of the bar, not wanting to talk to Freddie at the moment. He was out there to have fun, not to scout you out and talk about your feelings.

What you didn’t see, though, was a certain curly-haired man watching your encounter with the singer. You also didn’t see him pushing away the ladies trying to come onto him, and instead putting his drink down. You didn’t see his brows furrow together in concern, his tired eyes following you outside before actually moving to come to you.

You leaned on the wall once you got outside, your hands in your jacket’s pockets with your eyes shut.

You heard the footsteps following some seconds after you, but assumed they were just some random stranger coincidentally leaving after you had.

“...You never called.”

Your eyes shot open. Blinking away your surprise, you turned your head to look at him.

You made eye contact with him. His eyes held a certain warmth, but you couldn’t detect what kind. He was wearing a simple jacket and coat with jeans and sneakers, his arms crossed as he, too, leaned against the wall.

You weren’t nervous for some reason. Maybe it was the alcohol, or maybe it was just because you had prepared yourself for this moment a few times too many.

“I know,” was all you could say back.

There was a pause of silence.

“What are you so afraid of, Y/n?” he asked softly.

“Hm?” you said.

“You always avoid these certain things like they’re the plague. Are you afraid of me?” 

You let out a soft chuckle, though it left a bitter feeling in your throat.

“No, not you. Never you,” you said. “It’s myself.”

One of his brows raised in confusion. 

“You’re afraid of yourself?” he asked curiously.

“Not of myself physically,” you started. “Just... of what I might do.”

Brian didn’t ask any further questions, so you continued.

“When we first started dating, I didn’t think it would... become so serious. I assumed you would just realize you deserve better than whatever I could give you and move on. But you didn’t,” you paused to lick you drying lips, the feeling of nervousness coming to you, but not fast enough to stop you from your admittance.

“You stayed, and you were completely convinced that we were... soulmates or something. And the thought of that scared me. I was scared we were gonna go so deep into the relationship that once I messed up or you realized your mistake and broke up with me, it would be too painful.”

The nervousness was completely there now, but you couldn’t stop yourself.

“So when Jacob started flirting with me, I flirted back for some reason. I saw him as a friend, not as some side-lover. No, I was completely enamored by you, but I still tried to convince myself that maybe I liked him, too. I tried to convince myself that I wouldn’t be attached to only you and just you, that there was plenty of more fish in the sea. But the truth is there isn’t. I have never known of anybody even remotely as perfect as you.

It was also to make myself become less attached to you, so that when you did... eventually break up with me, It wouldn’t be so painful.

I know it’s a stupid reason. I know I’m a bad person. But I’m human. I’m not gonna be flawless, and I’m not. I’m just more ‘flaw-filled’ than most people should be.

And I’m sorry. I should’ve just told you outright the moment I felt it, but of course, I thought that I could’ve just taken the less straight-to-the-point way,” you finished.

Your eyes were on the road in front of you by the time you were finished. You didn’t want to look at Brian. The fear you were filled with now held you back from saying anything else.

“You tried to cheat on me to protect yourself and me from pure heartbreak because you thought that you were unworthy of my love?” he asked quietly after a few seconds of thinking.

“No, because I know I’m unworthy of your love,” you corrected. “You’re amazing, and kind, and so selfless, and I never seem to do anything right, even if I wanted to.”

“That is the biggest lie I’ve ever heard.”

You turned your head to look at him, making eye contact with his softened eyes.

“You are kind. I’ve seen you with kids, with John, Fred, and Roger. I’ve heard you sing to the neighborhood children and give some of them snacks after they play outside. I’ve watched you take away your own free time to help out friends and even strangers in need. So what if you don’t do good things all and ever time? Nobody can survive if they were truly selfless. It’s okay to be selfish once in a while. It’s what makes us... human. It’s what fires us to make us do more,” he paused to take off his coat and place it on your shoulders as it got even chillier, knowing your thin jacket won’t handle the coldness.

“As long as you feel remorse, want to do better, and try your hardest to, then you are not a bad person,” he continued. “What you did with Jacob wasn’t okay, but not everything is so black and white with these things.”

His words stopped there as he noticed your tiredness more.

“Here, I’ll take you home,” he said quietly, guiding you to his car. You didn’t try and fight him, because you know it was a fight you would lose. Especially to him.

When you got home, he helped you inside, taking the keys he still had and opening the door.

It was mostly silent as he helped you gather yourself properly before setting you to bed. You shut your eyes once you laid down.

Brian kissed your forehead before turning to exit the room, turning off the lights as he walked out the door and shut it behind him.

-

The next morning, a headache greeted you. Your eyes and nose scrunched together when you felt the bright lights reach your face. Opening your eyes, you sat up in bed, rubbing you eyes and yawning.

You got ready, putting on normal clothes and brushing your teeth, all with an aching head.

When you went to open the door, you froze. A small tune could be heard from a few rooms down. A tune on the guitar.

A small smile came from your lips as you opened the door, walking down the hall and into the living room.

There Brian sat, with a guitar in his hands as he picked at the notes softly. 

He noticed your presence after a few strums and looked up to you, a welcoming smile on his face.

“Morning. How are you feeling?” he asked.

“My head feels like absolute trash at the moment,” you answered, to which you both chuckled softly.

“...do you remember last night?” he asked almost hesitantly.

“Yeah, I do,” you responded quietly.

“We can work it out, Y/n. It’s okay. I’m willing to try again as long as you are,” he reassured you.

“Okay,” you agreed, nodding your head a little.

“And as long as you promise me one thing.”

“And that is?”

“To try and be more honest about your feelings. To tell me how you’re feeling and to not be afraid to ask for help, because you could ask me a million questions a day and I’d still love you the same,” he said.

You shook your head, a grin on your face as you laughed quietly.

“I promise, Bri,” you told him.

“Great! Now come sit with me, love. I’ve got this new song to show the band and I need your opinion on it, first,” he invited, patting the seat next to him on the couch.

“Alright, space man.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #265

“all is fair in love and war, i’m still rotten to the core.”

What's the latest youtube channel you've discovered and binge-watched? Ha, a WoW channel that basically gives advice and tutorials on stuff. She doesn't have many videos, but she's pretty successful already and chill as hell. Kraken Latte. Does it snow where you live? Occasionally. Very rarely does the snow stick, though, because the ground will be too warm. Do you think your hair looks better long or short? Short. Do you look best with or without bangs? Bitch I loved my emo bangs fuck off. Well, they weren't technically bangs, my hair was just parted far to the left. Do you enjoy editing photos on your phone? Well, my phone doesn't have GREAT camera quality, but I usually do some subtle edits if I take a pic on it. What's your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play Pokemon GO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE Which season do you wish would last longer? Shit man, fall. At least here, the phase of colorful leaves is VERY short. Goes from green to totally bare in what feels like just a couple weeks. How many outdoor birthday parties have you had? Hell if I know. How much taller or shorter are you than your mom? We're the same height. Who is your favorite sibling? Lol wow that's mean. Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah. Do you like sushi? I've actually never tried it, but I'm quite certain I wouldn't like it. Have you ever tried seaweed? Actually yes, I believe in the 4th grade? We had I think authentic Japanese (or Chinese, idr) food, and I recall there being seaweed. I didn't like it. The only thing I liked was the white rice, I think. Do you have an actual pig-shaped piggy bank? No, but I think I may have as a kiddo. Did you dream of becoming famous as a kid? No. Have you ever been to a gynecologist? I actually haven't because I've always said I wasn't sexually active (back then it wasn't a conscious lie, I just genuinely didn't realize what we were doing was just shallow sex). I'm absolutely terrified to go anyway because I'm just very very very private about this sort of thing and honestly think I'll have a panic attack when I do have to for the first time anyway. Name three games that you are good at. Shadow of the Colossus, Silent Hill, World of Warcraft. What was your favorite board game as a kid? Ha ha, somehow, it was this shopping game called "Mall Madness." Veeeery unfitting of who I was and what I enjoyed as a kid. Do you get on Facebook every day? Pretty much. Did you watch the Kids Choice Awards when you were a kid? No. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Spice Girls, I think. Do you have memories that still make you cry? Yes. Have you made your own mask to help prevent the spread of the virus? No, considering I don't leave the damn house like ever. Do you know anyone who has the virus? Yes. Not personally, but distantly. Are you proud to be an American? (if applicable) Sometimes. What countries have you visited? I haven't left America. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No. How many true heartbreaks have you had in your lifetime? Romantically, I only consider one to be a *real* heartbreak. Have you ever cut yourself? Yeah. Do you feel like everything is falling apart around you? BOY DO I!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Was your first kiss romantic? Yes. Do you miss any of your exes right now? My PTSD has been awful awful AWFUL the past few days, so yes. A lot. Have you ever overdosed on anything? Yes. What would you say if you found out your last ex was in a relationship? I'd be happy for her of course, but I'd also be very confused. She's made it clear she doesn't believe a relationship is the best idea for her right now. Who was your date to prom? Jason took me to his senior prom, and I took him to mine. Do you still talk to your first love? No, I haven't spoken to him in over three years now. Wow. Whose wedding did you go to first? I don't remember. I'm sure it wasn't the first, but ONE of the earliest that I do remember was when my friend Summer's mom got remarried. He sadly passed away a long while ago though. Are you ashamed of anyone you've dated in the past? Tyler, yes. It was so pointless and a "let's see how this goes" versus a "I really like this guy and really want this relationship" thing. I honestly think I only said yes to dating because I didn't want to hurt his feelings and I was lonely. What about anyone you've been friends with? There were certainly times it felt very weird calling Colleen my best friend with how bitchy she could be. Especially when you consider how non-confrontational I am, while she charged like a goddamn bull into arguments. Have you ever made out with someone in a pool? Uhhh I think that one night when I lived at the apartment and it was just us out there late at night. He and I went back inside before Jacob and Amanda TO hardcore make out because we both way too obviously wanted it so I wouldn't be remotely surprised if we snuck in some action at the pool oof. Who’s the last person that slept over your house? Sara. Do you still talk to the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever kissed someone with a tongue ring? No, I was the person with the tongue ring. I actually took it out a little while back because I was tired of accidentally chomping down on it when eating and chipping teeth. I'd already told myself if I did it one more time I would, and especially right now, we can't afford to keep filling cavities that have come from it. I don't at all regret getting it and it'll always be one of the cutest piercings I think I've ever had, but it was just time for it to come out. Is it hard for you to get over a lover? I THINK I'VE MADE THAT!!!!!!!!!!! O BVIO US S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever tried making someone jealous? Not to my recollection. Did your last relationship end because of you or the other person? Both of us really, but she initiated the breakup, you could say. Who is the last person you flirted with? Sara. Who's the most racist person you know? Jesus Christ, I live in the South. I know dozens of racists. I guess the worst is uhhh OH the aforementioned Colleen, holy fucking shit. I highly highly highly doubt that has changed at all since we last associated with each other. If you could be a film character, who would you be? Let me be Alice Liddell. Crunchy peanut butter or smooth? Smooth is the only way to go with pb. Would you rather always be in a crowd, or be the only person on earth? "Always be in a crowd. It wouldn’t be fun, but I think it’d be better than being that alone." <<<< This. I legitimately think I'd wind up killing myself in the other case. Would you rather be rich, or famous? Why? "Rich, because...what’s the point of being famous if you’re not rich? Just everyone knowing all of your business?" <<<< Also this. Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the top or the bottom? "I start off from the top until it gets used enough that I have to squeeze up from the bottom." <<<< Lemme just steal all this person's answers lmao. How many children do you want? Girls or boys? None, but if I was to have kids, I'd definitely want a girl. Is there a story behind your name? What is it? No. What was one of the most fun things you and your college roommate did together? I didn't have a college roommate. Well wait no, during my first college attempt is when I lived w/ Jason, Jacob, and Amanda. I'd honestly prefer to not think too hard back on it to answer this. Does anyone know your bank pin number other than you? Who? I don't even have a bank account. Have you ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend who was depressed? Yeah, multiple. Would you be embarrassed to buy pads/tampons/condoms? Which one more? Pads or tampons, nah. I'd feel awkward buying condoms though. Are your parents gullible? Dad probably is; he has very little common sense. I got it from him lmao. Mom, heeeeell no. Do you still own a VCR? No. What color is the computer/laptop you’re on? Did you buy it yourself? It's black. No. Does the smell of cigarettes, weed and beer repulse you? All three do. Was the last person you kissed younger or older than you? Younger. Have you ever purchased Girl Scout cookies? Yeah. How often do you drink Monster? Never, because I don't like it. Have you ever made totally pointless videos with your friends? HAHA I was a cringy teen once, my friends. Do you like sitting on the inside or outside of a restaurant booth? Inside. I feel safer. Do you own a nightgown? No, I haven't worn those since I was a kid. Have you ever worn fishnets? Fishnet gloves. I WISH I could pull off fishnet pants. Would you rather go out to eat or be eaten out? In times like THESE???????? Bitch I wanna go eat out at a yummy restaurant. Do you always wear your seat belt? ABSOLUTELY. I get so stressed out when I see people not wearing one. Have you ever liked someone much older than you? Not much older. Have you ever been in a play? Just school ones as a kid. Is there ice cream in your freezer? No, but there's popsicles from when I couldn't get my tongue ring out and it was massively swollen and in terrible pain. Thank God I finally got it out. Have you ever liked the lyrics of a band but hated the music? Probably. Does your bathroom have a window? Yeah, but it's very small and up kinda high. Do you go somewhere to get your eyebrows done? I used to, but I don't anymore. I just leave them be. Do you believe prayer really works? Nope. Have you been on a date in the park? No. Are there any diseases/health problems that run in your family? A whole. Fucking. Lot. To just name a few, depression, high blood pressure, heart disease, cancer, diabetes... Do you have asthma? No. Last person to take off your pants, besides you? Jason. Least favorite alcoholic drink? Mother of God, this white wine I tried at Colleen's forever ago. It was fucking repulsive. How did you meet the last male you texted? I mean I literally came from his balls so like Have you ever had an embarrassing email address? Ha ha yeah, the one I've always had. It's not very adult-ish or "serious"-sounding, but I don't want to change it now. Do you put shampoo in your left or right hand? Left. I squeeze with my right. Do you have a bull ring through your nose? No, I don't feel that would look good on me. Do you and your dad get along? Yes. When was the last time you did clay work/pottery? My last year of art in high school. I made an anatomical heart for Jason. I wonder a lot if he still has it after how much work I put into it. Do you like art, hate it or just not mind it? I adore art. The world would be so much more boring without it. If you had to choose would you prefer dull pain for 12hours or sharp for 2? Ew, dull. Two hours with sharp pain sounds awful. Do you know the words to the national anthem of your country? Yeah. Would you rather be a Model, Famous Scientist, Singer or Chef? Scientist, probably. I'd love to be a biologist anyway, and that's a type of scientist. Would you rather be a pilot, crime scene investigator or estate agent? Ohhh, crime scene investigator. Does making others happy really make you feel happy? Yes! Did you ever swear at a teacher in school? Why? No. Have you ever pricked your finger on Holly or another ‘sharp’ plant? Yeah. Have you ever written your own short story? Yes. What about a novel? Or perhaps you started and couldn’t finish? "I started writing several novels, but abandoned them all." <<<< Same yo. Either of the above, if this was the case, place short synopsis here: The first one was about a very close meerkat family, divided into elemental "breeds," and the prince falling in love with another of his kind. His father had a stray brother who constantly aimed to destroy the family, but he was converted towards the end. That's all I can really remember about that one. There were others like two species of animals I made also falling in love, despite being predators and prey of each other, and fulfilling some sorta prophecy with their offspring. The other two I recall- yo fuck it I keep remember more and more okay I wrote a LOT. Do you prefer SciFi/Fantasy/Action/Horror or Rom/Com/RealLife? I'm guessing you mean in books, given the last three questions? I have a strong preference for fantasy. What do you have a lot of faith in [note: can be anything]? Hell if I know. Would you rather have a big house, a lot of kids or a high flying job? High flying job, easily. I don't want kids, nor do I need a large house, especially considering I hate cleaning even this tiny one. Have you ever been to a creepy/haunted/abandoned place? Yeah. What did it look like and what were the circumstances? It was this really old, mostly dilapidated shack full of cool stuff. It was by the field near our old house. Me, my sister, and our friend hung out there and explored all the time until this freaky woman showed out and told us we shouldn't be there. Do you know a Jack? What’s he like? Yeah. I don't him that well though, so idk. How about a Lisa? What’s she like? Yeah, she's one of my WoW friends that I've become really close with. She is an absolute sweetheart, but talks about herself way, way too excessively to the point it's hard to have a conversation sometimes. I know she doesn't realize it, though. When you have children, would you like twins? I say enough that I don't even want kids, SO FUCK NO. Do you know any twins? If so, what are they called? Yes. Tyler and Taylor. I know others, but idr their names. What personality trait does nearly everyone in your family seem to have? We're stubborn as all fuck hell. Do you have any nicknames that aren’t derived from your actual name? Yeah, some online ones and then my mom has called me "Twinkie" since I was a baby. Do you have any allergies? Yeah, of pollen and silver. What is the longest your hair has ever been? To or maybe even past the small of my back. Have you ever been on a blind date? No, not my jam. What is the oldest piece of clothing you still wear and how old is it? I really don't kn- oh yes I do. I have these oooold old thin and sewn-back-up-fifty-times Batman pj pants from when Jason and I were together, so maybe like... seven years? Thanks PTSD, I'm attached to them because Batman was his thing. How often do you eat out at a fancy restaurant? Just about never. Nutella or peanut butter? UGGGGGHHHHH I've been on a nutella thing lately. Have you ever hosted a wild party? Definitely not. Name/author of the last book you read cover to cover. Do you recommend it? Wings of Fire: The Lost Heir by Tui Sutherland. Yes, it was very good. How many of your Facebook friends do you actually hang with? Besides my immediate family, like... none anymore. Have you ever donated blood? Yes. From 1-10, how much do you like decorating for holidays? This is hard to gauge. I've never seriously done it myself, and I don't really have the motivation to do it just to take it all down a month or so later. I love it in concept, but yeah. Favorite animated Disney character? Probably Kiara from TLK2. Have you ever cooked a big family meal by yourself? Ha, no. Favorite winter activity? TAKING PICTURES IN THE SNOOOOOOOOW. Do you consider rapping singing? I mean I guess? Does your home have a fireplace? No. Do you listen to any religious music? No. Do you drink soda? If so, which one is your favorite? Ugh... soda is my weakness. I'd probably lose weight easier if I just stopped drinking it. Mountain Dew Voltage is my favorite, and I've also been on a serious strawberry Sunkist thing lately. How easily do you cry? I cry very, very easily. Can you handle spicy foods? What is your spice limit? Oh yeah. The only way I know how to gauge this one is that I enjoy the "hot" sauce at BWW lol. I've actually kinda cut back on HOW much I enjoy it, though; like I'm more into enjoying my food thoroughly lately than the adrenaline of spicy food. What day of the week is laundry day for you? I personally don't do the laundry because Mom prefers to just do ours together, so. It varies, I think. Have you ever played spin the bottle? No. Do you have any stickers on your laptop computer? If so, what are they of? Not on mine, but the one I currently have to use has tooons. I don't feel like looking at the lid trying to list what they are tho. How often do you say "y'all?" It's pretty much in my normal vernacular due to where I live. Do you believe in evolution? Yes. I have questions and curiosities about it, but when you consider how truly short it has been since considerable natural selection has been observed, why couldn't it exist on a bigger scale? Do you live in an apartment or a house? I live in a house. How long have you been at your current job? I'm unemployed. Have you ever ended a romantic relationship? Yes. Phrase you say the most? Probably "oof" lmao. Have you ever kissed anyone of the same gender? If so, did you like it? Yes and yes. Have you ever given anyone CPR? No. Have you ever learned to do anything from a how-to video on YouTube? Yes, mainly just editing stuff. Have you ever auditioned for a reality competition show? No. Have you ever been in the audience for the taping of a TV show? No. I've been at hockey games with Dad, but I don't consider those "TV shows." Have you ever given money to a street performer? I've never even seen one. Do you own any homemade clothing? Not that I know of. Have you ever bought anything from a flea market? Yeah, decorations 'n trinkets and stuff. I love flea markets. Have you ever quit a job? Yes. Are your birth parents together? No. Do you or have you ever worn glasses? I've worn glasses for years now. Have you ever been broken up with? AKA died in spirit? :^) Have you ever been the victim of a nasty prank? Not to my recolleciton. Favorite fandom? Y'all been known, the Markiplier fandom is a goddamn family. Can you surf? No. What motivates you to do well in life? The knowledge that I've most likely only got one life to make something of. How lucky do you consider yourself? I mean, ALL things considered, I'd say I'm at just below the baseline, maybe? I mean I could be homeless or dying of malaria or something. Have you ever been summoned for jury duty? No. Favorite summer activity? Swimming! Have you ever lived on a farm? No. I wanted to for years as a little kid, though. How often do you get mad at yourself? I've lately been in an almost constant state of anger regarding myself, honestly. Have you ever gotten any stitches? Yes. Favorite YouTube channel? The Marker Plier guy. Do you have a pool at your house? No. Last thing that made you laugh? Something on Game Grumps. Earbud or earmuff headphones? Earbuds. Earmuffs hurt my head and ears. Have you ever been a bridesmaid or a groomsman? Yes. Have you ever gotten a New Year’s kiss exactly at midnight? I don't think so. Have you ever voted for a reality competition show? The only time I did that I remember is when Landau Eugene Murphy Jr. won America's Got Talent. I adored him and voted like mad. Does anyone in your family currently serve in your country’s military? Ummm maybe distantly? I don't know anyone off the top of my head. Are you comfortable with watching rated R movies? Well yeah.