#also about the stuttering: when im very upset and/or tired i have a hard time saying hard vowels like “p” ��t” “d”

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

A slightly less average day in Family Video

A girl with shoulder length blond hair and a huge stack of tapes goes to the counter. Steve, who had wrongly assumed that Robin could handle herself for ten minutes, tries to intervene. It is in vain. He is aware that it is in vain, even as he sprints towards them. Tapes clatter behind him on the floor. Unfortunately the noise is not enough to dissuade the innocent customer, who barely even pauses on her way to the ticking time bomb that is Robin Buckley.

He feels like in a movie, everything around him suddenly moving in an excrutiatingly slow pace. He is the only one who can see the incoming disaster, and yet there is nothing he can do but watch. Watch as Robin's lips twitch - not in the fun "I actually find your stupid joke hilarious but I refuse to laugh because it is so stupid and beneath me" way, but the decidedly more concerning "I am uncomfortable and overwhelmed someone get me out of this situation please". Watch as her nostrils start to flare in that particular way that means she is trying really hard not to burst into tears.

Oh dear.

Needless to say, the blonde does not take any of the tapes home with her. Steve watches in envy as she exits the shop. Ah, to be a free spirit, able to escape his soulmate's laments with no guilt or remorse or consequences. But alas, he has been cursed with a bleeding heart, a guilt complex the size of Indiana and a useless lesbian. And so, instead of doing the reasonable thing and escaping this hellscape, he goes towards the explosive variable. Dingus indeed.

"Hey, how about we take a break, huh?" Steve tries to recalls the rules about approaching wild animals - Dustin had a phase when he first got Dart. No loud noises. No sudden movements. Slow and steady. Take everything at the anima- at Robin's pace. (He'll have to tell her that one when she is less upset. She was literally named after a bird, so drunk on exhaustion Robin will find it absolutely and disproportinately hilarious)

He physically recoils when he catches a glimpse of Blondie's would-be haul. Dirty Dancing. The Princess Bride. Purple Rose of Cairo. Of all the days for a romcom movie night. At least Steve can rest assured that he isn't God's only favorite chewtoy. Isn't that what it means to be soulmates, after all? Doomed by forces beyond your comprehension together?

Steve looks at the evergrowing stack left behind on the counter (only one person managed to actually rent out the movies, and that was when Steve had sent Robin to her third break in two hours), the three movies still laying on the floor (please no one step on them please no one step on them by the love of god please nobody step on them) and prays nobody checks the security footage today as he leads Robin to what must be her sixth break. The shift is barely halfway over.

Now, Steve is neither a lesbian (he looks at boys a tad too long to only be interested in girls) nor a high school student (class '85 baby!). However, he is the unfortunate resident of a nosy and boring small town (seriously, fuck Hawkins), very aware of how draining it is to have to keep a big secret in said nosy and boring small town (if you think about it, are a person's sexuality and flesh-devouring monsters from a different dimension truly that different?), and has also morphed into one eldritch agglomeration with his bestest most favorite person of all times (Mike's words. Apparently the way he and Robin can read each other's minds is "freaky" or something), so he is very aware and sympathetic of their struggles and beliefs.

Such as this: the list of people you can cry on when your not-quite-girlfriend-but-definitely-something-more-than-friends-you-are-maybe-kind-of-in-love-with suddenly breaks it off is remarkably shorter than if said person was a boy. In Robin's case, the list is exactly one person long. Well, technically two, but it would be very awkward and painful to sob on the person who is the reason for your tears.

"It's s-s-so. So ssssstupid. I mean we were-weren't even a-an-any-anything. I don't know why I'm so u-up-up-p-p-pset"

Steve nods and rubs her back. He hopes his expression is as sympathetic and righteously mad on her behalf as the first time he heard the story.

"We used to kiss und-d-d-der the bleachers. The same b-b-b-bleachers we face whenevvvvvvver we p-p-p-practic-ssss-e in band. How am I sup-p-p-p-pposed to look at those stupid fucking b-b-b-leachers without thinking about her lips and her leeeegs and-"

"Such stupid bleachers", Steve dutifully agrees. He wonders whether one of the kids can maybe hack into the CCTV to delete the footage? Surely they can't be fired without any hard evidence, right? The last thing Robin needs right now is the inevitable stress that comes with job hunting.

"Howwww- how do you d-d-deal with it?!"

It takes a moment of Robin staring at him expectantly before he realizes that she went off-script and he is expected to actually answer her question. You know, like a proper sympathetic best friend and soulmate is supposed to act.

"How do I deal with what?"

"With the b-b-b-break-k-k-kkkk-kups? Me and her weeeeeeren't even-"

"Your emotions are valid" Steve shamelessly steals Robin's go-to saying whenever he is unreasonably upset about something stupid. She hits him, which is fair. Maybe he was being a little bit mocking about it. Sue him.

"It's like-", he pauses, searching for a more tactful way to say it. But then again, he has never been great at expressing himself and Robin always gets him anyways, so he just goes for it. "I mean. It's not like anyone is really upset after a breakup you know."

Robin blinks. Once. Twice.

"Wwww-wh-what?"

"I mean. You explained it to me. Sexism and all that shit. If a girl isn't upset and stuff she's called a slut. Boys don't have that, and they seem to always be fine. I mean, Tommy P. was making out with Alicia literally the same day he got dumped by Sarah. It's all just about peacocking and status and all that stupid stuff."

Maybe he was overestimating Robin's telepathic abilities, because she looks even more confused. "Sssso you just got together with all those girls because. What. It-t-tt was expect-ted of youuu?!"

Maybe Steve's own telepathic abilities are also failing him because like. Obviously?! What's the hang-up?

"So you decided yourrrrr girrrrrrrrrrlfriends based on what-t? Whether they were cheeeeeeer-cheerleaders?!"

"I mean. That's what everyone did, isn't it? Expectarions and all that crap." Steve starts wondering if maybe Robin has something stuck in her eye. "Like, of course I wouldn't start anything with someone if I didn't like them as a person. But the girls were cute, and making out is fun, and I like hanging out with them so like, why not. If it got boring after a while I just broke it off, no harm no foul."

"SSSSO YOU SST-sss-STAYED TOGETHER WITH HER UNTIL YOU FOUND A SHINIER NEW T-T-T-TOYYY?!"

"Hey, you don't need to say it like that. It's not like I was doing anything different from everyone else. Society is fucked, or whatever it is you always say."

A pause. "Steve.... if it sounds heartless....it's b-b-b-because it issss. I hate to say it but.... I don't thiiiiiink all of your girlfriends saw it the sa-sa-sa-same way you did. I mean, did you look at T-t-t-tammy? She looked devastated for wwwweeks. I remember I was so mad at you for that. You didn't even seem to not-t-t-t-t-no-notice."

Silence. It's Steve's turn to blink. Once. Twice. He starts to wonder if the thing Robin had stuck in her eye was knowledge. Or maybe tears. Regret?

"But. The slut thing-" "Steve. How did you feel about Nancy? Was it the same thing?" "No! It- I don't know. It was. She was- ...Oh."

In the quiet that follows, Steve swears he can hear his own heart crack in two.

"I mean, we weren't even together-together most of the time. Or some of the time, at least. Like-" (Robin, cheeks red from all the crying. "I mean, we weren't even anything". And maybe Steve didn't quite understand the reason for these tears, but he understood pain and he understood Robin so he held her close anyways)

"Wait Steve, no. I-I'm so- sorr-rrr-sorr-y"

And fuck. Isn't he an absolutely selfish and horrible person? Here he comes, finding out he hurt perfectly lovely girls, figuring out that the "heartbreaker" moniker is less a joke and more a warning, and then he has the audacity to feel hurt. He. Shame burbles up in his gut, multiplying until it comes leeking out of his eyes.

It's shameful and horrible. It is even more shameful and horrible because Robin is currently going through what they had probably felt, too. Tammy who loved singing to the radio. Layla who loved making friendship bracelets. Natasha who also had a love for basketball. He imagines them locked up in their rooms, trying to hold onto him even as they know it is fruitless, feeling like after that stupid halloween party - because of him. He wants to hurl.

And Robin, always overthinking, always overeager - Robin who is trying to nurse her own broken heart and doesn't understand what he is feeling but she understands pain and most importantly she understands him. Robin gives him a kiss on the forehead and holds him close.

"I shhhhhhouldn't have been so-so-so-ssssso harsh. I was frusssss-trated and I let it out on you I'm sorry."

Steve smiles sardonically. "My feelings are valid?" She flicks him on the forehead and laughs.

-> the gay crisis that wasn't

-> stobin partner tattoos (aka tramp stamp)

-> fighting the war on heteronormativity on the side of headache (ft. Tim Curry)

-> Hawkins has cryptids and they are movie snobs

[rotshop]

GONNA B HONEST W/ YOU ,,,,,, i rlly dont like how this is written lmao ,,,, but also im sleepy tired so i get a pass dhmu /j

[ TW ; gore, some violence, death ]

notes ; based offa DIS ,,, u might wanna read it for some context n shit ,,, lawl ,,,

-

Between the two of you, it's hard to tell who's suffocating more. It's hard to tell if its you, with the little pants that pass by your teeth in shaky steps, hitching whenever they're cut down when you have to stop to cough up blood. It should be you, you who has your guts spilled out onto the floor and your blood staining all the concrete underneath the both of you. It has to be you, who's leaning heavy against 2b's chest and drawing unfocused circles onto his shoulder. It had to be you, you just had to go inside by yourself, you just had to be slow on the draw and nearly be ripped clean in two. It just had to go wrong with just you.

Even with all that in mind, he feels like there's nothing in him. There's no lungs to draw in breaths, no mind with clear thoughts on what to do and how to stop this once more, and certainly no heart beating steadily. In those places was instead viscera, a mangled, nameless mess of pink and red weighing him. There was some clump of pink that drew in some shaky puffs, barely reaching him as he choked on his own pride. There was nothing but tangled strings and weights in his head, making his skull pound as something in the back of his mind screamed to do something. There was a heavy weight behind his ribs that stayed put, a finality hanging over his shoulder as it always would.

He doesn't want to cry. He shouldn't be, you're the one with your innards exposed to the eyes of any and all and your face buried in the crook of his neck, it should be you who's crying in pain. He shouldn't be crying, he shouldn't be shedding tears when there's not a single bleeding wound on his skin. He shouldn't be and yet they're tight in his throat, threatening to tumble past his lips and create an embarrassment of himself. A shift brings him back from his thoughts, turning his attention back to you.

There's a little stutter in your movements, a quick pause as your vision momentarily fails you and your breath is wheezed past your lips. A quick, aimless grasp at your innards to have them follow your movements, rather than stay partially stuck to the floor, tugged further from your soon-to-be-cadaver as you readjust. You're just pulling yourself ever closer to him, little to no space left between the two of you as you support yourself on his figure. He can't help the way his own movements choke and pause as he moves his arms to wrap around you. He can't help the way he takes a sharp, shaking inhale as the skin of his arm ghosts over the start of your gash.

He remembers the first time he'd been with you in your 'final' moments. He remembers how the line had fallen dead on your side and the others all fell into a silence. They'd only told him later on why, they 'didn't want to scare him off.' He was still a little upset about it, even now. He had always been stubborn like that, it was a fact of him that you regarded with warm laughter and endearing teases.

He remembers the pure terror that'd gripped him as he came across you, choked squeaks and hisses leaving your lips as you writhed. The debris around you and the tangle of pipes and bars you'd been impaled on told the story he never bothered to ask, the one he'd never truly questioned you on even to this day. Something about the way you'd glanced at him in that moment never left him. Maybe it was how the pure agony you'd been in moments before shifted to confusion on his being there, shifted into something gentler yet still as forlorn and miserable, either way it haunted him endlessly. He remembers how you were such polar opposites after he'd managed to tear himself from his place.

The clatter of his goggles against the ground fell on deaf ears when he'd rushed for you. He barely even noticed how quick his breath was speeding up, he was far too focused on helping you, on getting you back to base so he could fix this. It'd taken your weak swipes at him and breathless pleads to just stop to snap him back, he didn't want to listen to you. He wanted to tear you from that metal and drag you back to base, he wanted to set you down and get to work, and then he wanted to grab you by the collar and ask just what was going through your head. He wanted to be mad, he wanted to argue and to let go of all the tension wracking him and making his hands shake. It was tearing him limb from limb in the worst way possible, in the one way he never wanted to feel.

He was afraid. Honest to god terrified from the moment his gaze fell on your bleeding-out form. It shook him to his core in a way he hadn't felt in forever, breaking past the facade he'd worked so hard to build in an utterly humiliating manner. He hated the way he had to clench his hands and bite his tongue as he stared down at you, his weak attempt at keeping his tears back that hung by a thin string. He hated how he fell to his knees, coming face to face with you as you looked back at him.

Your eyes were still soft with accepting misery in the moment, a weak smile finding it's way onto your lips as you reached for him. You'd struggled, finding it difficult to meet his face when the world was spinning so dizzyingly. He'd hesitated, hand shaking as it found your wrist, him leaning into your touch with an unsteady breath. If the tears weren't already hanging behind his eyes, they would've burst up with a vengeance when you started brushing your thumb over the bandages on his face.

He couldn't remember how exactly you'd spoken, how you'd been able to between the gurgle of blood in your throat and the copper piercing you, but you had. It was a request ; a final wish of sorts he didn't want to deny you. You could've asked for anything in the moment and he would've done it for you, he would tear through whoever and whatever he had to for you. He would rend flesh and ruin relationships and scar the world if he had to in that very moment. He'd never been an especially generous type, he could extend a certain amount of kindness to others but there was a limit to his softness. Yet, you managed to turn him so, managed to make him give an excuse of 'it wouldn't hurt,' or 'it's just a one time thing,' when it came to you.

Even so, you'd made such a simple request. One he would've asked you himself in other circumstances if he weren't so stubborn with what little ego he clung to. One he would've been happy to hear from you in the comfort of home and privacy. Even so, he'd nodded when you asked. Even so, he'd ignored how his own hands shook as he held his over yours gently.

It was an odd feeling, your blood seeping into his mouth, iron heavy on his tongue as his lips met yours. The taste would've been revolting under any other circumstances, making him recoil and pull away with a note to never repeat the cause. Yet, he didn't. He kept his lips against yours gently, experience slipping him in the thick anxiety of the moment. Even then, reluctance followed when he pulled away.

Content lost its footing when you'd given him once last smile, then it fell with a crash when your gaze grew glassy and unfocused. He'd never forget the panic that gripped him so tightly, enough of a disturbance to slip past his guard and make the tears start to fall. He didn't even notice them in the moment, all he saw was your corpse and the end of the compassion and emotion you'd helped him regain over time. He never asked the others if they heard him then, if they heard him plead with you, if they heard the sobs and begs he never would've given if it weren't you. He's glad they never brought it up, it was just a touch easier to forget how he'd completely broken down for the first time in a long time when you'd fallen still.

He was glad you weren't able to hear them. He's sure you would've made some dumb comment about it as you stood before him, alive and well as though nothing happened. He's sure you would've smiled and hummed a question he wouldn't answer, he's sure he would've reacted all the same. He's sure he still would have grabbed you by the collar and shoved you back against the wall, he's sure he would've still hissed at you to explain yourself, ignoring the desperation laced in his voice as his eyes began to burn again. You had an effect on him, one he wouldn't ever admit to even if you poked and prodded at it time and time again by simple virtue of you being yourself.

You were a surprisingly good kisser for someone on the brink of death once more, but you were better at it when you could count how many of him there were.

He's not sure what pulls him back as he looks down at you again, noting your still form blankly. He's not sure why he pauses for a few long moments, simply keeping his arms around you as your body grows colder and colder. He's not sure why he tucks hair behind your ear and lets his hand linger, warm by contrast against you. He's not sure when he pulls himself up off the floor, careful of your innards as he pulls you up with him.

He is however sure he feels a hell of a lot better when you sit up from your previous place on the table, hand trailing over the stitches that line your stomach and chest as you give a little hum of approval. He's sure he's smiling a little at that simple bit of praise. He's sure you'd make a comment about it if you noticed.

"Happy to see me, huh?"

He's happy to be right.

[bunnyywritings]

a shy, goth s/o who goes by they/them pronouns

requested by anon; HIII!! I recently started watching soul eater and i finallyyy found someone who writes for them so im reallllly exited!! So i wanted to request something!! Can you do like how Crona, Kid, Soul and Stein would be like in a relationship with a shy goth s/o who uses they/tem prounons (sometimes she). Also when they talk about the things they like they get superrr extroverted and could talk for hourss about it! Also would it heart to ask if you could make cronas a lil longer, they are my comfort character🤧Also wanted to ask if you did emergency requests! If you dont that’s totally fine!!

[a/n: thank you for this request, my lovely anon! It gave me the way to get back into a writing flow again. I quite enjoyed writing for these characters since I don’t get very many Soul Eater requests, as for emergency requests...go ahead and send them in but I apologize if I don’t get it done quickly, seeing as I’m not quite that active on here like I was before. for now, enjoy! - yours truly, bunnyy -`ღ´-] 

- truthfully, i think he'd be a little confused at first

- about the whole pronouns thing

- despite being friends with Crona

- so, he'd approach Maka, Crona, and Subaki about it

- he'd be a little embarrassed because he mistakenly exposed his HUGE crush on you

- Subaki coos at him and thinks it's sweet

- Crona is glad to help, knowing that using they/them pronouns is still a foreign concept for some people

- Maka would definitely tease him but ultimately, she's glad he had asked for help

- after realizing that it was a rather simple concept to understand

- he'd get SOOO cocky

- he absolutely loves your style

- obviously thinks you're the coolest person to ever exist

- now the only thing in his way??

- your shyness

- he's only interacted with you a few times but because he tends to be a bit abrasive, you usually keep your distance

- the few times that Stein had called on you in class to answer a question was the most he's really heard you talk

- you were good friends with Kid though

- so you ended up hanging out with the group a lot

- he's seen how passionate you could get whilst talking about your hobbies or about things you liked to Kid or Liz

and Patty

- it made him a gajillion times more attracted to you

- after FINALLY gaining the courage to ask you out (you can thank Black Star for telling him that it wasn't cool to be such

a wimp)

- he'd be on cloud nine

- being in a relationship with Soul would be fun

- he'd be a little awkward at first but he'd soon ease into it

- he's really good at respecting your pronouns

- in the case that he slips up, which i don't really think he would, but if he does he'd feel absolutely terrible

- like he'd beat himself up so hard

- he would do anything to make it up to you

- 100% would cook you a super nice dinner as an apology

- if anybody ever made fun of your style or your pronouns, it's over for that person

- they'd have, not only Soul and Maka on their ass, but they'd have Black Star and Tsubaki, AND the literal son of the grim

reaper and his twin pistols

- overall, Soul would be such a sweetheart

- you make him so, so soft

- gosh i love him so much

- okay

- Kid is definitely somebody who would be up front with his feelings

- he knows about your use of different pronouns and he really admires your bravery to be so open about it

- i feel like he's definitely thought about going by he/they pronouns

- thinks it's absolutely adorable how shy you are

- despite being shy and closed off, he never overlooked you like some students or other staff

- he knows how clever you are

- don't even get me started on your style

- he love love loves your goth style

- especially when you wear anything with skulls on it

- when it comes to his feelings, Liz gets fed up with how ridiculous he's being

- she's watched him break down crying because the stripes on his head aren't symmetrical and someone as precious as you

would think he's trash

- which obviously isn't true

- he sees you out on the balcony, sat on the ledge and book in hand

- he's noticed you with it a lot but it's only the 1st book of a series

- he figures that maybe you just haven't had the chance to find the rest of them

- after some research, he finds that the series had been completed but because of the lack of readers, it was put out of

production and copies were pulled out of libraries and bookstores

- but alas, he had found one of the only complete series in existence in somewhat excellent condition

- it was quite expensive but that was really no problem

- he had wrapped up the set and had gifted them to you with a note and as you read the note, your cheeks burned

- he confessed his feelings

- the next day, you had approached him and thanked him for the gift as well as confessing your own feelings for him

- he thought the stuttering and flushed cheeks was adorable

- 100% the power couple at the DWMA

- sorry i don't make the rules

- Liz and Patty are definitely in love with you, especially with how versatile your fashion is

- Patty has definitely volunteered to paint your nails before

- MATCHING RINGS

- Kid definitely gets you a et of skull rings, just like his

- will go beast mode on anyone who makes fun of your style and/or use of pronouns

he's be such a gentleman and he practically worships the ground you walk on

- as he should  

- Stein would be quite used to the use of they/them pronouns since he has students who go by them

- when there's word of a new teacher at DWMA who goes by they/them, he's quite intrigued

- so much so that he would volunteer to show you around the enormous school

- 10/10 falls in love with you instantly

- your shy demeanor is such a contrast to your style

- definitely lives for teasing you

- anything to make you stutter

- but he'd be very blunt about his feelings

- he makes sure that you're being respected by students and staff alike

- threatens anybody who doesn't

- he gets you some screw earrings or a necklace (if you don't have piercings)

- it's his way of making sure people know that you're his

- Stein would be an excellent significant other

- he's a bit more on the playful side so just always be prepared for cheeky remarks

- he doesn't mind your shyness at all

- since he doesn't really favor going out too much so most of your dates are in doors, his place or yours

- probably with a cup of coffee and a book

- he can be sweet when he wants to

- isn't really into pda but i wouldn't be too surprised if he had a moment of spontaneity and pull you into his arms and

kiss you passionately  

- some students think it's romantic and others definitely tease the both of you

- since your social battery probably runs out pretty quick, he loves that it gives him an out from tiring staff get

togethers

- Death Scythe thinks it's absolutely HYSTERICAL to make fun of Stein's moments of softness

- but ultimately, he thinks the way Stein looks at you is sweet and makes him happy that his friend has found someone like

you

- cause you're the best

- duh

- his wardrobe has infinitely improved since the both of you got together

- all thanks to you

- overall 15/10 a good significant other

- ahh Crona, sweet sweet Crona

- they're the freaking cutest

- now i know that in the anime and manga, it's written that he uses he/him pronouns but it seem like on tumblr everyone has

just settled on using they/them instead because of Crona's androgynous style and frankly it's a bit of an unclear area

- so uhhh yeah, let's get started

- Crona would have trouble admitting that they had feelings for you, so they tries to hide it but alas, Maka had caught on

- it took Soul a bit longer to realize but he eventually did

- the group had caught on and thought it was adorable

- all of them had tried to help in any way they could

- but Crona just couldn't muster up the courage to tell you

- the both of you were quite shy so it was nearly impossible to get some type of interaction between the two of you

- Crona also really loved your style

- the both of you were similar in so many ways

- Black Star had actually been the one to let it slip that Crona had harbored some kind of affection for you

- Tsubaki had smacked him upside the head and chastised him since it wasn't his place to say anything

- but now that it was out in the open, it had given you the slight confidence boost you needed to confess

- but when you did, Crona just stood frozen, almost mortified by your words

- you took it as rejection and ran off into the woods surrounding the school campus

- Ragnarok had then made an appearance and started tugging at Crona's cheeks and telling them that they should go after you

- but of course, they hadn't

- instead, turning to Maka and Tsubaki for help

- the two had taken it upon themselves to look for you and clear up any misunderstandings

- the next day, Crona had approached you and apologized

- even though they're words were stuttered, you appreciated the gesture and asked Crona on a proper date

- they accepted before panicking because it had dawned on them that they had never been on a date before

- overall, Crona is such a sweet partner

- sure, a bit unexperienced but sweet nonetheless

- they try their best

- both of you have similar styles and everyone thinks the both of you are just the most adorable couple on campus

- Crona loved hearing you talk about the things you loved

- your eyes would sparkle and you'd move your hands so animatedly

- it's almost like you're a different person in that moment

- they just adored you

- they'd get upset if someone had disrespected your pronouns

- Ragnorak would definitely rage if someone disrespected you

- as much as he hated to admit it, he really really liked you

- mainly because you always carried sweets around for him

- ugh I just love Crona

[demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol]

Bedtime Reassurances

[image credit to @aloneandblueascanbe​, pls let me know if you want it removed!]

pairing: frankie morales x gn!reader

words: 1.8k

content: one innuendo / reference to sex so 18+ only please, job related anxiety, mentions of a pandemic, one bad word, i switch from present and past tense sorry, another comfort fic but at this point is anyone surprised, soft gentle touches, verbal affirmations, frankie just being the best most encouraging bf in the world

a/n: okay so this is very similar to the other frankie fic i wrote, but i actually wrote this one first and this one has some lines that im really proud of, so i figured i’d share this one anyways!! i hope y’all enjoy this, and thank you so SO much to everyone who read my first frankie fic, seriously i cannot believe how much interest it got and i am constantly blown away by how incredible y’all are 💜💜💜 p.s. my taglists are a mess rn so don’t feel obligated to interact, and pls speak up if you want to be added or removed!

Frankie hums under his breath a little as he walks up the stairs. The two of you had just finished watching a new movie and his spirits were pretty high (although part of that might have been because of your reactions to the movie- your laughter, your smiles, your head bobbing to the catchy music). He flicked off the hallway light before entering you room, at which he promptly paused at seeing you perched on the bed wiping your eyes.

“Sweetheart?” he questions, and you look over at him before sitting up and blinking furiously. “Hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” He quickly takes a few steps over to you, but his hands hover by your sides to gauge your reaction to his sudden nearness before moving forward to slide them around your back. The last thing he wanted to do was move too fast and cause you to flinch.

“It’s nothing, I’m fine, I was just-,” you cut yourself off to take a stuttery inhale and a shaky exhale. “Just thinking, it’s not even related to anything.” Frankie tilted his head at you sympathetically as his mouth twisted into a small smile.

“If it has you this upset, I know it’s not nothing,” he paused, giving you a moment to process his words. “[y/n]” he whispered, and at hearing your name you look up to meet his eyes. “It’s me,” he said, with nothing but love and concern in his eyes. “You can talk to me. Please.” You blinked at him a couple times, and took a deep breath.

“I, um,” you stuttered and turned your eyes down, and you felt Frankie’s hand rub up and down your back. After a few deep breaths, you spoke. “I just started thinking about work again, and job hunting has been so stressful. And it all seems so scary. And I know it’s not, and I know I’m overthinking it, but I’m just so tired of starting over. And I’m just tired of not feeling good enough. And I’m sure these feelings are way too complicated over just a new job, but I’m just tired of constantly doing different things, and I know this is just the adjustment period making me feel this way, but I just want to be good at something, just one thing, and just do that one thing long enough to actually feel good about how I do that thing,” you paused to take a few deep breaths and at some point during your rambling you must have grabbed onto Frankie because both of your hands were gripping the front of his shirt. You loosened your grip a little and in response he held you a little tighter. As you met Frankie’s eyes for the first time, you couldn’t help but let out the small whimper at the pure understanding and love from him. It’s still so hard to believe that someone could look at you like that even in such a state. He brought one of his hands up to cup your cheek, and the other one wrapped around your waist.

“I’ve got you,” he said, and there was no way to not believe him when he was looking at you like that. “Just let it all out.”

“I’m afraid, but I’m also tired of being afraid, and I’m tired of not being good enough, and I’m just tired,” you laughed a little, even as tears filled your eyes. “I just want to be good enough.” Frankie’s heart cracks at your words, and as your eyes fill with tears, he feels his eyes start to sting too.

“Mi corazón. I promise you, every single person around you can see just how hard you’re trying. I know sometimes it’s hard for you to see, but every day I am in awe of just how much you do.” He sees your face scrunch up in the telltale way when you try to argue with him, so he tilts down to give you a soft kiss, and when he pulls away he can tell that put you in enough of a daze for him to keep going without you interrupting. “Despite what you struggle with, you get up and you help others, and you work on bettering yourself as a person, and you get stronger and kinder and more loving every single day. And every day I am beyond thankful that you let me into your life, that I get to be with you in the big moments and in the small moments, that I get to experience life through your eyes, because you see the world in such a way that it makes me feel so so young.” That gets a small smile from you, and now Frankie feels like he’s on a roll. “You’re kind to me and you’re kind to strangers and you’re even learning to be kind to yourself. You’re taking on the challenge of becoming a better person while also going after a new job while also doing it during a freaking pandemic.” Your breath hitches at that and while he doesn’t want to upset you, he never wants to upset you, he needs you to know this. “You think you’re behind everyone but you are leagues ahead in areas that some people aren’t gonna realize are important until years from now. And you’re doing that in a world where that isn’t the normal. And baby I am so proud of you,” he chokes up a little at that, and he sees worry creep up into your eyes as your hands come up to cup his cheeks, and ever so gently stroke the spot just below his eyes, already ready to wipe away any tears that might stray. “You are a wonderful person, a wonderful friend, and an even more wonderful lover. And I want you to go to bed, and wake up, and spend every minute of every day knowing that I love you so much and that there is so much good in you, and that you are stronger than any of your fears or anxieties or reservations, and that if you ever feel stuck I will always-,” he bumps his forehead against yours and he looks at you so head on that in that moment you feel he is looking straight into you, that he really does see everything he says he does, “-always, be right there by your side helping you out of the situation because I. Love. You.”

The first thing you noticed were his hands on your face, mostly because the pressure had increased, not in an uncomfortable way, just in a more noticeable way. And then you noticed the way his chest was moving, like saying everything he did genuinely winded him. And then you noticed his eyes, which if your being honest was probably the first thing you noticed because there’s no way not to: their deep, rich color with more depth than any other eyes you’ve ever seen, the almost imperceptible sparkle to them, because somehow this man’s eyes just sparkle, and the way that his eyes are the definition of love and compassion and trust, because there is no other way to describe them.

“Oh my gosh,” you whisper, because how on earth do you respond to that? As you wrap your arms around the back of his neck again and drag him down to kiss him, he pulls you closer as your lips touch and you press further into him because the need to have him so impossibly close is overwhelming. He breaks away for only a second before leaning back in, and he tilts you back to deepen the kiss. Your legs come up to wrap around his and he lowers you slowly all the way down onto the bed. When you break away you keep your hands firmly locked around the back of his head, keeping his forehead pressed to yours as you both catch your breath. “I love you so much,” you finally say, keeping your eyes locked on his. “I love you so dang much and sometimes I still can’t believe you’re here, with me, in our house, with me.”

“You better believe it baby, cuz there’s no getting rid of me,” his mouth cracking into a lazy smile as he nudges his strong nose against yours.

“Never,” you say, much more seriously than his joking tone warrants, but you need him to know, especially after everything he said. “I never want to get rid of you. I need you. I love you.” His eyes soften and while his teasing tone leaves, his smile never does.

“You’ll make it through this sweetheart, I promise. I’m here every step of the way.”

You beam at him, “Thank you Frankie. For everything. Everything.” Your eyes start to droop and he places a quick kiss on your nose before backing away to pull down the covers. You crawl up to the pillows, barely even acknowledging your own side in favor of his. He chuckles and crosses over to the other side, and when he’s under he cuddles you close before pulling up the blanket and securing it around you. “Tomorrow’s a new day, and somebody needs their beauty sleep to tackle their to do list.” You hum contentedly, wrapping your arms around him and slotting your head under his chin. His arms wrap around yours as he presses a kiss to your forehead and noses your hair.

“Well, you are definitely on my to do list because holy shit someone deserves some good sex for what you said,” you half mumble under your breath, and as Frankie breaks into a laugh he tries not to jostle you too much, but you caught him off guard and now he’s pretty much full on laughing, in the way that makes your heart clench a little because you love him and his beautiful laugh so dang much, the laugh that gives you so much pride because you’re the one that made it happen. When he settles down he pulls away slightly to look at you, and you are positively beaming at him, clearly proud of that joke you were able to come up with half asleep.

“Well there’s my [y/n],” he says in that deep raspy voice that only makes you smile more. He leans in to give your forehead a slow kiss.

“Thanks for finding me,” you whisper as you look up at him.

“Ehh, you’ve trusted me with most of your hiding spots, so I’ve gotten pretty good.” You prop yourself up on your elbow and place your hand on the side of his face to get a good look at him.

“But seriously Frankie, thank you. You always know exactly what to say, and I am so unbelievably grateful for you in so many ways.” His face goes as soft as he turns to give your palm a soft kiss, and you lean in one more time to kiss him properly before resuming your position. He gives you a gentle squeeze and it isn’t long until you’re drifting off to sleep in the arms of your love.

tag list: @keeper0fthestars​, @scribbledghost​, @icanbringyouincold​, @bestintheparsec-reads​, @ezrasarm​, @andriecastana​, @tweedlydumbtweedlydoo​, @murdermewithbooks​, @remmysrecs​, @lv7867​

[silvanable]

Hello! I really like your writing so im here with a request! Lilia, Leona and Riddle with stressed s/o. S/o avoid them and dont want boys to see s/o so weak and pathetic. Thank you for your hard work! <3

hi darling! i’m happy that you like my writing, it really helps me continue knowing that people enjoy what i write despite how chaotic and inconsistent i can be~

i intended to write this before finals but i missed that window for me at least oops.

this was the perfect request for this, especially since i know a lot of people are still facing finals as we wrap up the remainder of the year! thank the stars we’re almost done with this fucked up year!

↪  GUIDELINES

— LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

when it comes to avoiding leona because of stress, he doesn’t always catch on super quick that something is wrong.

really he sees it as his s/o needing space, just like him, and he doesn’t go out of his way to check up on them for a while.

this is especially true if his darling is female, as well all know leona drinks his ‘respects women juice’, so he’s more inclined to give her space.

in any other case, he still believes in giving them space but after a while he will start to pick up on something being wrong.

he starts to notice a pattern with how his darling avoids him in the hall, will see him on the path and turn around, or how they dodge him when he tries to corner them.

the flighty behavior pisses him off the most, because now he cant nap in peace without tossing and turning with them on his mind and what he did to make them avoid him.

would take it the hardest out of everyone at nrc, with his inferiority complex, not being good enough, and all.

would also be the most aggressive on confrontation— not that he would physically hurt them but he might grab their arm just a little too rough or push them against the wall harder than necessary.

he’ll be towering over his s/o as he snarls out a, “am i not good enough for you anymore?”

a mixture of reactions can come from this but the most apparent one, with the building stress of everything, is just for them to start crying.

leona is struck by their tears so abruptly he might actually take a step back, because out of all the things he expected as a response, their broken expression and tears is not one of them.

his darling will be blabbering out apologizes and how they didn’t mean to, how they just didn’t want him to see them like this, and how crowley has been stressing them out and all the trouble with grim and classes as the year began to wrap up was just too much.

all while they are blubbering on, leona is uncertain on how to respond or even really console them.

it’s a moment of softness leona will display as he grabs their hands and pulls them away from their face, offering a hesitant shush.

“you’re ridiculous, herbivore,” he’ll mutter out as he brushes their tears with his thumb, “you could have come to me.”

sure leona would never have been one to offer his help out so willing but this was for them and if they needed help controlling that ungrateful furball, he would help and make ruggie babysit grim.

and he’s not above chewing out the headmaster to get him of his darling’s ass and give them a breather.

“i didn’t want you to think i was weak—”

definitely feels guilt after hearing that, because everything his s/o did was to avoid him because they thought he would think lesser of them.

would tell them to shut up with a grumble and drag them off to the botanical, because obviously they need a break and he needs a nap.

— LILIA VANROUGE

lilia is, out of everyone, the one to catch the shift in his s/o mood the easiest and quickest. something he picked up being alive for so long.

with that lilia is also the one to let them have your space for a time to let them try and sort it out on their own— but the moment he sees how hard they’re struggling he takes a different approach.

lilia confronts you about it but is especially mild, asking if there has been something to upset you and where he was the cause, because he certainly wants to correct his actions if he did do something.

it makes them feel so much more guilt, especially because they should have known that lilia would notice something.

telling him is an effort— it’s no secret that he’s far older than his youthful appearances leads others to believe.

and something as simple as school stress??

it was laughable and pathetic in their eyes when they thought about it in comparison to lilia’s long life...

he coaxes it gently from them nonetheless and finally when they give in, they can barely make it through a sentence without bursting into tears.

it breaks the old fae’s heart to see you come unravelled like that and it hurts even more knowing that you somehow got the impression he wouldn’t care or found it pathetic.

and all the while his darling is staring at the floor, gasping and stuttering between sobs, trying to stop their tears only to cry further

“ah, ah—” he clicks his tongue, gathering up his s/o’s face in his hands so they look at him. his expression uncharacteristically gentle.

“if it was so much trouble, dear, you could have come to me for help,” he reassures them, “i might be old but i think i can manage to learn a few more things if it helps you.”

will crack a lopsided smile at them, stroking the tears from their face with his thumb.

has a lingering feeling of guilt, which is new for him, that they somehow got such a backwards interpretation of him and how much he cares for them.

makes it a point afterwards to remind them from time to time that they can rely on him whenever they need— he’s here for them and wants to support and help them if they’re ever struggling.

— RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

riddle’s strict persona and being such a stickler for rules makes him often far more intense and unapproachable than he actually is.

it’s only worse for his s/o because they’re struggling with classes and keeping up— learning materials absolutely foreign to them and to top it off, the stress of having been thrusted into an entirely new and somewhat terrifying environment.

but of course after learning about the harsh environment riddle grew up in, they feel guilty over being so stressed when they’re probably just not paying attention or dedicating enough time to studying.

since his overblot, riddle has tried to be mellower and more understanding, patient even, but that does not ease the panic in his s/o.

it gets to the point where they are actively avoiding him.

at first it passes him by, but the following days he starts to notice how jumpy his darling is when they see him and how suddenly they’ve completely removed themselves from his presence.

it only finally pushes him to a point to chase them when after classes, he calls out their name when he sees them in the halls and they immediately dart in the other direction.

he literally has to chase them around the whole campus before finally tiring them out and cornering them.

now he’s more than a little hurt and definitely upset.

he’s ready to go off on them when they just burst into tears and crumbled to the floor.

so much for not appearing pathetic...

all and anything riddle was going to say or scold them with flies out the window and he’s suddenly frantic and on his knees hesitant to touch his darling.

“what’s wrong? are you okay? are you hurt?” questions are pouring from his mouth and his mind ins swimming that something is terribly wrong and suddenly he’s worrying if he was the cause of you getting hurt chasing you.

when his s/o finally manages to catch their breath, even as little hiccups between sobs, they’re apologizing and wiping their face with their hands trying to say that they’re fine, “it’s fine, it’s okay.”

he’s immediately shutting that talk down with a, “you are not fine, please talk to me,” he’s begging because he’s worried now.

there’s a silence that settles in between him and his darling as they suddenly find the ground between their legs very interesting...

riddle is surprisingly quiet the whole time, patient uncharacteristically so, and his hands are still hovering out in the open as he’s still deciding whether touch them is okay.

then his s/o speaks up in a small how everything about this world, not knowing if they’ll ever get back home, school, and pretty much anything that has bothered them since waking up in twisted wonderland falls from their lips in a rushed and in a quiet whisper at the end, add how they didn’t want to appear weak and pathetic to him...

finally riddle makes a move, awkwardly, but he moved and pulled his s/o forward into his arms— quick enough it startles them to stiffen up.

will feel endlessly guilty that his darling thought he would think so little of them and their problems, worse that they felt the need to bottle it up and run from him.

he’ll try to be a little sensitive to their needs, offering to study with them to help them understand since he’s got great marks in his classes, and constantly trying to find little ways to show them he really, really does care.

[khaleesiofalicante]

OK I GOT 5 HOURS OF SLEEP LAST NIGHT WHICH IS PRETTY OK IG (I did stay up to read the fic-) BOTH MY TESTS WENT LIKE SHIT, I HAD AN ANXIETY ATTACK IN PROGRAMMING CLASS BECAUSE BY TEACHER IS A LITTLE SHIT WHO KEPT ON YELLING AT ME WHEN I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING AND I SPENT LUNCH ALONE BUT AT LEAST NOW IM ALONE WITH MY LAPTOP SO YAYAYAYYA

first of all, this chapter right here is my comfort chapter from now on. i said what i said. I will be rereading it again and again just because i can. it was PERFECTION

here's me going crazy at 2 am yesterday.

MAGNUS' CHAPTER

LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO

AHHHHHHH IT'S THEIR ANNIVERSARY

SCREAM

oh

alec shaved his beard because it made him look older

RAFAEL WAS SO UPSET AFTER THE MEXICO ATTACK BECAUSE OF ANJALI RIGHT??

magnus and alec are the oblivious parents istg

“Are you decent?” Max yelled. “I don’t want to be traumatized again.”

“Hey! We agreed not to talk about that!” Alec yelled back.

Im not even surprised at this point

“Happy anniversary, bapa!” Rafael kissed him on the cheek and handed him the flowers.

“Where are my flowers?” Alec asked.

Rafael plucked a rose from the bouquet and threw it at Alec. “Here you go.”

“Thanks, son,” Alec mumbled.

IM WHEEZING

DAVID BAKES

“David made it,” Max said shyly. "

Oh,” Alec replied and then shrugged. “Well, the icing could be a little sweeter I think.”

Ever since Max started dating, Alec had become incredibly protective. Alec liked David of course – it was impossible to find someone who didn’t. But that didn’t mean Alec approved.

And it didn’t help that the blond boy was absolutely terrified of Alec.

ALEC STOP TEASING HIM

THE BOY IS ALREADY SCARED

“I don’t know,” Alec analysed the card. “David used too much glitter.”

“Since when do you have a problem with excessive glitter?” Max demanded.

ALEC

“I didn’t use him!” Max huffed. “He was thoroughly compensated for his efforts!”

“Compensated how?” Alec asked.

“Uh,” Max said. “With donuts.”

when i saw donuts i immediately thought of rose and luisa from jtv

iykyk

but should i continue the show? i got tired of jane continuously embarrasing herself

“You expect us to follow rules?” Alec asked in surprise. “In our own home? On our anniversary?”

The warlock boy grinned wickedly before leaning close to Alec.

“You better do it, or I will tell everyone about your secret,” Max whispered.

Alec blinked at that.

the secret...

I DONT LIKE HOW MANY THINGS POPPED INTO MY HEAD

is highschool musical that bad? i havent watched it. should i?

what if i cried

i just wanna hug alec??? but i cant say it'll be ok because it wont

“Is that why you are not attending?” Magnus grinned at his friend. “Or is it because you are terrified of Georgia?”

“That child is the reincarnation of Christopher Lightwood!” Ragnor complained. “I heard she made explosives out of demon ichor! Who makes explosions out of demon ichor?”

RAGNOR IS PROBABLY GETTING FLASHBACKS

THESE STUPID FUCKING BITCHES

how tf do you think we have survived huh??

medicine that's how

vaccines, anti biotics and what not

stop being close-minded and fucking do it

ok i know the risk is great

BUT OTHERWISE THEY ALL DIE

it was different for warlocks. The Shadow World was their universe. The nephilim kept it safe. At one point in their lives, they had learned to coexist with them, out of necessity and out of obligation.

And now here they were – working together in the name of friendship and love.

how things change...

what

say what

the causes are what

ok let's not jump to conclusions

im fucking crying wtf

alec doesnt deserve this shit

all he's done is make the world a better place

hes worked so hard on this

RAZIEL CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF

what am i supposed to say to my parents if one of them comes to check on me and im sitting here crying at 2 am

He didn’t want to believe in a reality that would punish Alec. Alec who only wanted to do what is good and right.

Alec was who was losing his hope and strength every passing day. Alec who was struggling. Alec who was turning to desperate measures to cope with all the stress.

please alec

no please

THE ANGELS ARE BITCHES

Because if Magnus found out Raziel was the one causing all this pain for Alec, he would march up to heaven and set the bastard on fire himself.

AND I'LL GO WITH HIM

KNEW THE SPY WAS LIVVY

AWW RAGNOR LIKES SELENA THATS SO SWEET

blue and gold

STOP IT IM CRYING AGAIN

The shadowhunter was a good influence on him. Magnus hoped Alec would see it sooner rather than later.

HUH

HUHU

HUH

omg

GIGI GETTING A SIBLING

“Max isn’t allowed to do a lot of things,” Magnus chuckled. “But he does them anyway.”

thats my boi

GASP

]THE NECKLACE

rafael is growing into the consul voice

they grow up so fast

nope nope he's still the little 5 year old

voice cracking what do you mean he's 20

im glad hes happy with mila. or is he...?

Magnus had deduced as much. Alec lived in his beautifully oblivious world. But Magnus noticed.

He noticed the hickeys. He noticed the late-night visits. He noticed the tense phone calls.

well thank god there's at least one non-oblivious person (alec i love you so much but you are very very oblivious)

“What’s stopping you then?” Magnus asked.

"2554 miles,” Rafael chuckled sadly.

me with all my online friends

probably more miles

Magnus tried to do the math but promptly gave up.

me

But Alec did lie though. Magnus pushed the thought away.

NOT NOW

LET ME LIVE IN PEACEFUL OBLIVION

HUSH

“Except melt it?” Rafael chuckled.

“Yes,” Magnus chuckled back. “As you can see, the bar is extremely low in the Lightwood family.”

AHHIUCCDSKUHDCV

i have no clue what the words describing the outfit are

time to google

OK PRETTY

Fifteen years. Fifteen years of loving and Alec still made his heart stutter.

dont do this to me right now I WILL CRY

“What the hell?” Max exclaimed. “Why are you all dressed up?”

“In case you haven’t noticed, it’s my anniversary,” Alec chuckled.

Max-

Fifteen years. Fifteen years and Magnus still took Alec’s breath away.

HJCSDHJBJDHSGCDYGJVVC JHVDFYMJ

it's not funny MY EYES ARE WATERING

“Bapak is a good looking one in the family,” Rafael pointed out. “You are the chaotic one and I am the smart one.”

“What am I then?” Alec asked dryly. “A sack of potatoes?”

“You’re the sexy one,” Magnus grinned. “A sexy sack of potatoes.”

yes.

Alec grinned back and leaned forward. Magnus put his hands around Alec’s neck and kissed him. He kissed Alec with all the love he had inside his heart.

Just like the first time. Just like the hundredth time. Just like the thousandth time.

Because with Alec, every kiss mattered. Every single one.

muffled sob

“Stop making out, oh my god!” Max groaned.

Magnus sensed a pillow coming their way but Rafael caught it before it hit them.

“Max, stop!” Rafael scolded. “You will wrinkle dad’s suit and ruin bapak’s hair! I spent hours ironing both!”

why is max me when i see people display affection in front of me

ALSO RAFAEL HKUIUIDCSKIHUDFVHJDFVHU

“They are here,” Rafael said. “You two better look exactly the way you did when I left with Max or I will raise hell.”

IM SCREAMING

Selena was wearing a blue crop top with the words “MIND YOUR OWN UTEREUS” written in gold.

i need that top

DAVID'S SHIRT IS THE COLOR OF MAX'S MAGIC

AHH ISABELLE DOESNT KNOW SHE'S PREGNANT YET

The argument of “who gave the best gift” had started when Jace and Izzy had gotten drunk on vodka. It didn’t help that Alec had gotten drunk as well. All three Lightwood siblings had then proceeded to have an argument about who had the best spouse. The whole night had been drunken chaos. Magnus, Clary and Simon had let them have it since the Lightwood siblings had a tendency to carry the world on their shoulders even when nobody asked them. They rarely ever let loose ever since their worlds had plunged into sickness and demon attacks. Especially Alec. So, Magnus had let his husband be that 18-year-old boy again. The boy who got drunk and fought with his siblings and sang songs about Magnus’ pretty eyes.

OH MY GOD THE CHAOS

Georgia considered that. “I’m not allowed to melt it, right?”

“No,” they all replied in chorus.

LET GIGI MELT IT

SELENA IM SO PROUD OF YOU

“Dad,” Max said. “Can you keep a picture of me wearing this necklace in your office?”

“Why?” Rafael asked.

“I think it will piss off the boomers,” Max giggled.

“Nice!” Lexi grinned. “A downworlder wearing a shadowhunter heirloom? They will lose their heads. Uncle Alec, you must do it.”

“I will do you one better. I will hang a tapestry,” Alec chuckled.

YASSS I CANT WAIT FOR THE SHADOWHUNTERS TO BE PISSED

AWW THEY DIDNT KNOW THE NECKLACE USED TO BELONG TO MAGNUS

he actually gave to camille first-

Why couldn’t this boy just cause chaos during his travel year like the rest of them? Why did he actually study and do his research as recommended?

why would you NOT study and research during your travel year????

oh shit

well well well

david bby stfu

i love you but pls stop speaking for all our sakes

“Holy shit,” Max said. “It is expensive then!”

“Don’t pawn the ruby!” Rafael warned.

MAX NO-

OH THE STONE COMES FROM EDOM

oh no

pls dont fight

oh so i was wrong about magus confronting him from that snippet

all you need to know is im sobbing right now and grammarly is the only thing making this coherent

dont mind me just

NO I FORGOT ABOUT MAX AND DAVID

GET BACK IN THE ROOM YOU IDIOTS

don't do this to me at 3 am

OK THE DILF PART

thank you for adding light into my life again

(me while editing this: today really isn't my day huh? i just slipped in rainwater outside my balcony because I heard rain and ran there. now my knee and back hurt and I think I sprained (?) my toe-

ANYWAY

wait im gonna go check out the rain and then continue editing this

ok i got bored of the rain)

that made me laugh through my tears

“Objectively good looking?” Jace snorted. “Excuse you, but my parabatai is smoking hot! He is a freaking prize, okay? If we had a magazine for hot shadowhunters, you would be on the cover page. Every single issue.”

“Okay, that’s enough!” Alec interrupted. “Magnus, are you happy? Now all my friends have told me I am pretty.”

“I said smoking hot,” Jace corrected.

“We are not being biased,” Clary pointed out. “It is the general consensus, Alec.”

“It’s true,” Lexi said. “So many people have asked me for your number, Uncle Alec. And I would have given it to them if I wasn’t worried about being turned into a marshmallow.”

LEXI DUHDUGHUDFCUHKVDFUIKFDU

“Dad, I don’t know why you are so worried,” Max said in a bored tone. “You’re a told DILF.”

David choked on his champagne and Jace patted him on the back.

“What the hell is a DILF?” Alec demanded.

“Oh, I know this one!” Jace said excitedly. “It means Dashing and Irresistible Looking Father. Max is right, you are a total DILF.”

“Mr. Herondale-” David raised a hand.

“I heard one of the shadowhunters in their travel year calling me a DILF too,” Jace said proudly.

THAT IS NOT WHAT DILF MEANS OH MY GOD

“It’s not a rumour,” Selena spoke up and passed her phone. “There is a group chat at Scholomance just to thirst after you.”

add me to it

ALL THE COMMENTS I CANT BREATHE

“Alec Lightwood can run me over with a Maserati and I would thank him.”

“Give me that,” Izzy grabbed the phone and started giggling. “Petition for Consul Alec Lightwood-Bane to stab me with his mortal sword.”

“Isabelle!” Alec hissed, cheeks flaming. “Stop it!”

“I want one!” Jace grabbed the phone now. “By the Angel!”

“Read it!” the kids yelled in chorus.

“I would gladly let Consul Lightwood-Bane inspect my mortal instruments,” Jace chuckled and threw the phone at David.

David shook his head vehemently and threw it at Max.

“My body is just a hole for Alec Lightwood,” Max read out loud and started laughing so hard that he fell off his chair.

Lexi grabbed the phone and giggled. “I want the Consul to strip off my runes among other things.”

She passed the phone to Gigi, who looked at the phone and look at Alec.

“Uncle Alec,” the girl said. “This person wants you to crush them with your massive archer arms.”

“Give me that,” Rafael grabbed it now. “Aw, this one is a classic, dad. Alec Lightwood turned me gay.”

He threw the phone at Simon, who stared the screen and looked up. “Uh, I don’t think I can read this one out loud in front of the kids.

“Is this the one about the basement?” Selena chuckled and Simon nodded.

WHAT'S THE BASEMENT ONe

TELL ME

AWW GIGI AND LEXI PUTTING MAKEUP ON DAVID AND MAX RECORDING IT

google translator time

oooo Rafael's gonna talk with Mila

Magnus you're such a good father

seriously

“Sometimes things are just sad. So, you need to let yourself be sad.”

YES

SAY IT LOUDER

THEY ARE UNDER THE BED

AHHH MAX AND DAVID

DAVID CALLED HIM MY ANGEL IN FRENCH

Alec and Magnus hiding under the bed and spying on them is just-

Jace had tried to give Max the shovel talk and had gotten a little too emotional.

of course, he did smh I love him so much

“David doesn’t need a shovel talk,” Alec smiled. “He knows what would happen to him if he hurts my son.”

David gulped. “You will throw me into the silent city?”

“I will ask me husband to portal you to hell,” Alec said – Consul Voice. “We have relatives there.”

the beloved relatives yes

“Goodnight,” Jace gave them a salute. “Have fun inspecting Magnus’ mortal instruments.”

JACE

OH SO THE QUESTION WAS ABOUT SMOKING

damn it

oh my god guys he said he'll stop smoking

just lemme have this moment

my boy's lungs will be intact

HIS LUNGS WILL BE OK

“I can’t wait to see all the messages on the chat after that,” Magnus giggled.

Alec looked up. “I’m more than a tall glass of water, Magnus!”

SCREAMING

In his dream, he saw them again. But they weren’t smiling this time.

what

wait

THE PROPHETIC DREAMS

nope nope nope

Nah I don't know what you're talking about

haha

damn, I think I really hurt my back...

OK BUT THE IMMORTALITY ANGST???? WAS SO SO GOOD???? I know it makes me cry but is it bad that I'm always so excited for angst written by you because of HOW GOOD it is????

"When I die I will love you from my grave" I NEED THIS ON MY FOREHEAD OH MY GOD I LOVE THESE TWO SO SO MUCH

alright I need to get something for my back and my knee (I'm home alone so this will be fun)

OK, I THINK THE NEXT CHP WILL BE ANJALI'S POV I JUST FEEL IT!!! I miss my girl so much I hope she's doing ok. Jaime too...

I'm rereading all of these chapters after chapter 10 because why not. Bye!!

OKAY I AM GLAD YOU LIKED IT BUT I AM ALSO DEEPLY WORRIED ABOUT YOUR HEALTH.

I hope your knee and back feels better soon!

also fuck that teacher yelling something doesn't make people understand it any better ugh dumb piece of shit anyway screw that person.

I hope you get some good rest and recovery from this rollercoaster of a day.

Take care!

[oh-for-fic-sake]

Tadpoles And Eggs

Masterlist

Henry returns to work with no confirmed pregnancy but is that really the case? Warnings: Swearing, Fluff

A/n: so here is another Fluff piece yay!! part three of house to home, I hope you like these I'm a little unsure who to tag so im just trying to tag everyone who asked to be tagged in my superman/ henry fics excluding Trophy if you want to be tagged or un-tagged just let me know as always i hope you enjoy xx

Taglist : @two-unbeatable-beaters​​ @thatgirly81​​ @angelofthorr @iloveyouyen​​​ @magdelen69​ @jessevans​​

Tadpoles And Eggs

You walked behind Henry to the kitchen. He was leaving in a week so was just relaxing around the house. You sighed moving to hug him from behind, you hadn’t been successful. You wasn't pregnant and it wasn't for lack of trying. You pressed your forehead to his back, you'd had four months and nothing! You were deflated already thinking there was something wrong with you, mind wandering 'maybe one was enough?'. You felt Henry sigh and twist round wrapping you up in his arms.

"I know love...I know look we can try again you are coming out to visit on set to, its not the end of the world... Maybe we are just trying to hard? To fixed on it you know how these things are?" You sniffed you couldn't describe how you were feeling, not really if you had to put it in words you felt...like a failure? You let Henry down, you both wanted another baby but Henry more so, he had a large family and knows the joy of having a house full of siblings and wants so desperately to give that to Paige, Paige is also getting impatient and wants her baby brother now. She didn't mean to but it upset you when everyday without fail she asked when her brother was getting here.

He moved he knew what was going on it was getting you down, making you ill and the stress of it all was making you irregular which made it much harder to figure out when your ovulating.

"I know ..I just, it was so easy with Paige...You know? We didn't even have to try...I just want to have another, it must be a woman thing...My clock or something but seeing Paige grow up I realized that... In September I’m going to be alone in the house day in day out I wont have someone to look after throughout the day and I’m going to miss that and I...it just got to me is all." He moved back kissing you deeply, you hadn't told him that before...He knew that you held back a little when he was gearing up for a long filming session, you didn't want to overload him with baggage.

"Look I will be home by then...If we still haven't then we can get another pet.. You wanted a bird? We can get one someone to keep you company and don't forget Kal will be here...I don't take him to shoots anymore so he can guard you two" you moved back from him taking a breath.

"We can't get a bird...I cant bring it with me when I visit not like I can kal" he sighed oh yeah.He remembered now that was why you hadn't already got one. He nodded solemnly then placed his hands on your tummy rubbing it slowly.

"It will happen, they are just going to make us wait" you hummed nodding and kissed him again.

Later that morning you both sat at the table, Henry was reading through the script at one end, coffee in hand and Paige was furiously scribbling 'notes' on her page. You blinked she looked very...Irritated she hadn't even touched her bacon sandwich with was unlike her she loved her bacon..Bacon was life and she had a t-shirt that said so. You waved at Henry getting his attention he looked up and looked to Paige and frowned. You moved over to the table and set your cup down.

"Paige love what are you doing?"

"A letter of compaint" you blinked and shared a look with Henry. Okay?.

"Complaint? To who poppet?" She growled and looked up angrily to her father blues eyes blazing

"To amazon! They haven't delivered mummy's baby seed! So I haven't got my brother yet and they best pull they finger out!" You laughed as she quoted you, your laugh got a fierce glare from the little girl. But Henry stopped whatever she was going to say.

"Baby seed?" You sighed rolling her eyes

"Yes daddy! Baby seed for mummy to eat and grow a baby in her tummy! Then she can poop it out and I get my baby brother!" Henry tired oh bless him he tried not to laugh but the child's explanation was to cute. She frowned and slapped the table in a huff.

"DON’T LAUGH S'NOT FUNNY!" You moved sitting across from her.

"Honey...That’s not how babies are made" she tilted her head confused.

"But things grow from seeds mummy...like the fruits and veggies in the garden...they were all seeds" you smiled finally understanding how the idea of a 'baby seed' came about. You shook your head at her.

"No sweety babies don't come from seeds delivered by amazon"she looked stumped and tilted her head looking to Henry then you.

"Huh? Then where do babies come from?" Paige broke off into a gasp looking to her daddy shook his head jumping up from the table swearing loudly as he knocked over his coffee. He moved the script just in time clutching the papers tightly then in a panic he swerved to the side and tripped as his foot caught on the leg of the table, you both winced as he landed heavy on the floor grunting, he moaned quickly as Paige watched squealing at the show her daddy was putting on for her. He quickly went to scrabble up and away to escape the kitchen. You growled at him racing around the table to stand before him pointing to his chair.

"SIT YOUR ASS DOWN!" Paige laughed as he daddy tried to reason with you but was shut up with a look. He grumbled sitting back down reluctantly and you moved to the sink throwing down a cloth in front of him to clean up the coffee.

"We agreed Henry, you do the baby talk and I take care of the birds and the bees and lady bits!" He groaned holding a hand out to your daughter who sat still kicking her legs waiting for her answer.

"Cant we leave it? Look she is happy and and she doesn't need to know know..Its embarrassing" he sputtered going red himself you raised an eyebrow at him

"Really...This embarrasses you ...after all the the shit you’ve been grunting out at me when we-"

"OH MY GOD BABE?! sshhh little ears" he hissed waving his arms around going even brighter, you smirked and you crossed your arms after a few moments of staring you caved unable to resist his puppy eyes.

"Oh for fuck sake- fine just back me up...You owe me,fucking superman my arse your a fucking wussy" you sighed shaking your head as he grinned like an idiot nodding. You turned to Paige and gulped, okay you can do this...Just tell her what your parents told you easy. Isn't it?. You cleared your throat.

"Well you are right that babies do come from mummies tummy’s, but we don't err eat a seed." Henry snorted loudly blushing.

"Well.. Sometimes" you glared at him snarling ferociously making him jolt back in he seat eyeing you carefully.

"You really wanna go there Henry?" He shook his head looking genuinely frightened

"Then...How does it get in your belly mummy?" You looked back to her your face softening.

"Well, when a mummy and daddy really really want a baby they have a really special cuddle-”

"Is it sex?" You and Henry both choked and stuttered mind going blank and you got flustered.

"What whe-where did you hear that word honey bun?" She shrugged blinking up at you then leaned forward resting her face on her hand twiddling her crayon.

"Rose.... She told me mummy's and daddy's have sex to feel good....And sometimes it makes a baby...And it has something to do with a daddies willy" You and Henry shared a look your minds blown you were frozen unsure how to proceed. Henry was the first to recover.

"Is that right? What else does  Rose say?"

"She said its loud and sounds like her mummy is being smacked on her bottom like her daddy does when shes been naughty...And that mummy's poop out babies" you both chuckled knowing full well what Rose had been hearing .

"Rose tells you a lot of things huh poppet?" Henry deadpanned unsure if he wants your little precious nugget to play with this Rose anymore.

"Yes..right well err Rose is right I suppose.." you looked to Henry for more help but he just held up his hands shaking his head.Fuck no.

"Soo anyway yes a daddy is needed to make a baby... For the special cuddle to work....And the special cuddle is called sex..."

"But what does he do?" You blushed wishing in that moment that you'd just let her think amazon gave you a fucking seed! Henry must have noticed your  regret as he leaned back chuckling smugly.

"Yeah babe whats my part in all this?~" you kicked him swiftly under the table and steeled yourself Paige nodded looking at you pointing to Henry

"See daddy don't know what to do! What does daddy have to do with it?" You smiled as Henry snapped his head to his daughter.

"Your right baby, daddy doesn't know what to do" you ignored the glare Henry sent your way sipping your coffee.

"Right..Daddy has...He has...Tadpoles? that he puts inside of mummy and they swim up in to my tummy, where mummy has teeny tiny....Eggs and once they get to mummy's eggs the egg turns into a baby and after that tiny baby starts to grow in mummy's tummy and nine months later she goes to the hospital and the doctor takes the baby out...And that's how babies are made" she frowned at you both.

"But how does the baby come out?" You cursed having such an inquisitive child!

"They take it out of the mumm’y belly.." her eyes widened and she placed her hands on her belly.

"Soo daddy puts his tadpoles in mummy to hatch an egg?" You and Henry nodded to her as she reviewed getting the basic concept which was good enough.

"And then...A baby grows and you got to hospital to have it taken out...I KNEW YOU DIDN'T POOP ONE OUT! NO WAY A BABY COULD FIT! ROSE IS A LIAR!!" She got down from the table making her way to the kitchen door and stopped turning back and ran to the table collecting her bacon sandwich

"’I’m going in then garden to play with Kal" she smirked turning to look at you both.

"You stay here and have sex....Make me a baby brother" you both gaped as she strutted out of the kitchen calling Kal.

You and Henry stared in stunned silence. Hearing her shouting calling kal as she made it further and further away.

"Did she just?"

"Yep...she did" you both too, a moment sitting at the table awkwardly

"Should we?" You snapped your head to him your look was the answer he needed and he quickly chuckled backtracking.

"No no sorry my bad stupid!" You sighed shaking your head he chuckled after a few moments at you snorting, you raised a brow at him.

"What?”

"Tadpoles? Really babe?" You hissed at him as he laughed out loud slapping his leg.

"Fuck off you wasn't exactly a great help! Swallowing seed?" He moved around to the top cupboard laughing at his own childishness stretching up pulling out your amaretto and two glasses

"That’s bad? my daughter just said I don't know how to fuck my own wife... and you agreed! You'll pay for that later" you scoffed

"That was pretty funny...Should go in the memory book" half filling them he arched looking out the window to see where kal was as Paige was still looking for him giving up he turned to you frowning placed one in front of you.

"Thanks...I think that went well...didn't it?" You said as you both sipped your drinks slowly not caring that it was only ten am after that shit show you both needed something. He nodded slowly and pointed to you with his glass in his hand.

"We didn't lie" you nodded to him agreeing

"Yep exactly we didn't lie... So how long before she realizes we had sex to make her?" you both laughed at that but soon stopped as you heard a very clear, very loud shout in the back garden.

"KAL THERE YOU ARE!  GUESS WHAT? MUMMY AND DADDY ARE HAVING SEX IN THE KITCHEN! WE WILL HAVE A BABY SOON!" you dropped your head to the table with a thump groaning as Henry cracked up full belly laughing.

It was eight weeks after Henry left to film batman vs superman when you took the test. You stood at the sink washing your pee covered hands you’d been so nervous you were shaking. You really wasn't sure, honestly you were hoping you was pregnant and there was nothing else more sinister going on.The thing was you had been having periods, but they were shorter and just not right, they wasn't as heavy or frequent and it really wasn't like you the odd one or two being out of wack you could take but this is just coming up for four and four on the trott being fucked up? something was up you knew your body.

You scrubbed at your hands looking at yourself in the mirror. Were your breasts different? firmer? Maybe you couldn't really tell you haven't been paying attention...If Henry were here one squeeze and he could tell right away...Fuck that sounds bad. You kept looking and rubbing the soap into your hands just trying to distract yourself. You didn't want to sneak a peak at the tests on the counter or get your hopes up,you'd done two just to be safe and had three more in the drawer.

You may have gone overboard but this was a big deal and you wanted to be certain. Once rinsing off and drying your hands you lowered the lid of the toilet and sat down letting the pregnancy test have its time. Finally looking at your phone you took a deep breath. It was time. Slowly you inched your hand to the small expensive sticks. You closed your eyes looking down and... Pregnant 3+ weeks.

You gasped stepping back sitting down on the toilet. Pregnant. You'd done it...Henry had gone eight weeks ago...so you were atleast eight weeks...nearly a whole trimester! and you hadn't even known! You moved over crouching and cried tears of joy.

Your soft cries brought Kal and Paige to the bathroom. Kal nudged your hands away placing his head on your tummy, something you now understood..It also explained  why he had been off when you walked him, your sweet loveable boy had growled at a man who accidentally bumped into you the other day, overall the Akita was more alert and stuck closer to you, you could kick yourself! You'd ignored so many signs. You couldn't stand the smell of certain foods anymore you had back ache and was always getting bouts of nausea.

Paige padded across the room to you placing her small hands on your head lifting herself to he tip toes and kissing your head.

"Its okay mummy don't cry...I miss daddy to" you sobbed louder pulling her closer,  she wrapped her tiny arms around you instantly making you calmer she rubbed your back kissing you sweetly trying to cheer you up.

"Oh baby these aren't sad tears... They are happy tears...Mummy has just...I mean we...You remember the talk we had before daddy left or work? About where babies come from?" She nodded still uncertain looking worried, you didn't blame her she very rarely sees you cry.

"Well look...Mummy just did these tests to see if there’s a baby in her tummy...And there is." She looked to the small stick

"Pree prr Parnt paranat pranet" you chuckled wiping your eyes.

"Pregnant...That’s what having a baby in my tummy means.. It means I’m pregnant" she moved inspecting the sticks then patted your leg laughing bouncing on the spot.

"SO DADDY AND YOU DID HAVE SEX IN THE KITCHEN? AND HIS TADPOLES HATCHED YOUR EGG? HE PUT A  BABY IN YOUR BELLY? REALLY? WHEN CAN IT COME OUT MUMMY I WANNA SEE IT??" You chuckled at her settling her down.

"Yes baby he did...And I'm not sure when the baby will be here but I will phone the doctor and you can come with me to take pictures of them how does that sound?" She squealed practically vibrating on the spot then stopped picking up one of the tests trying to figure out how it worked. You picked up your phone flipping it on to the camera taking a wide angle photo.

"Hold that up for a photo ready Say baby!" Paige quickly looked up holding the test in view the photo was cute Paige beside you grinning from ear to ear and Kal sat between our legs leaning gently on your tummy looking up into the lens to panting away happily.

"Right just do one thing for me baby" she nodded to you.

"Anything mummy"

"Well you know we are going to go see daddy soon? I want to keep this a a surprise  for him. So we cant tell anyone...not even Micah or Miss Bou you have to pinky promise" she nodded quickly linking fingers with you smiling. Then she began prodding the test.

"Oh no baby don't touch that bit, no quick that has pee on it!"

"EWW MUMMY YOU PEED ON IT?!" You laughed as she dropped the test like it had burned her and tried clambering up the counter to the sink. You sighed helping her up and washing her hands as she began to heave.

You moved quickly diving off the sofa to the small downstairs wash room crouching over the toilet heaving. Yes you remembered this. The morning sickness that isn't actually just in the morning. You sighed moving grabbing some toilet roll and wiping your mouth throwing it in the bowl and flushing it away.

You turned feeling eyes on you, Paige stood their with her juice bottle Kal sitting beside her wagging his tail.

"You okay mummy?" You smiled at her sitting up right nodding.

"Yes honey, the baby didn't like mummy's lunch is all" she blinked at you slowly and offered her juice to you. You smiled at her and shook your head.

"No thank you honey bun..quickly we have to leave you got our shoes on? Good girl"It had been another two weeks and you were finally getting our first scan today, Paige had be amazing, helping you around the house and remarkably she hadn't said a word...Even when you all had video chats with Henry.

But today was the day you had a slight suspicion you were around twelve weeks not ten as you had a little bump that had just started to show. Paige had pointed it out asking if there was where the baby lived and now she wont stop rubbing it and talking to it.She now spends the evenings laying near you with her head on your tummy watching tv, she said she likes listening to the baby but your unsure he can actually hear anything but it keeps her happy.

You got up taking her hand swinging it back and forth. You grabbed your bag and  made your way out to the car buckling her in it she was thrilled. It was only a short drive to the hospital and before you knew it you were in the room laying back on the bed.

You'd explained that the father was away filming so had asked for a chaperone to come in and film the scan of you and your daughter on your phone wanting to document it for him. Luckily the sonographer was an understanding woman and agreed calling a nurse to stand in the corner and film the whole thing.

"Whats that stuff mummy?" You smiled at her

"Its jelly she puts it on my tummy so we can see the baby" the woman held out the bottle to Paige to look.

"Here hold out your hand...it wont hurt you promise.....see its cold huh?" You both chuckled as she hissed at the cool gel placed on her palm and quickly wiped it off on your top.

"Paige you little monkey" you laughed and held an arm around her holding her steady as she stood on the chair beside you so she could see. The woman got the wand and moved across your stomach and pressed a button suddenly the small pumping sound of the baby's heart engulfed the room. You watched Paige’s face as she frowned looking around for the sound.

"Mummy?" You smiled smoothing her hair back.

"That’s just their heart beat...See its fast because its so small" she giggled shaking her head.

"No mummy its excited for us to see it!" The women in the room awwed at the little girls statement. 

"How far did you say you were?" You frowned looking to the screen seeing what looked like a close up of the fetus.you held your breath was something wrong, was it okay?

"Ten maybe twelve weeks... Why is there something wrong?" She hummed and pressed a button zooming out.

"No....Nothings wrong you said you and your husband were trying for a while right" you nodded rubbing Paige's arm trying to sooth yourself and her as there was a tension in the room.

"Your not twelve weeks....Or fourteen...I can tell you right now Mrs Cavill you are sixteen weeks along...Do you want to know the gender? Its right there." You gasped looking at her.

"Sixteen...Are you sure? He only left ten weeks ago....symptoms didn't start- we couldn't figure out when I was ovulating but we were still...oh." She nodded  knowingly .

"You couldn't figure it out because you was already pregnant...Some women have periods or spotting until there later months...Its completely normal I see it all the time" you nodded leaning back. Sixteen weeks. You’d been pregnant  for over three months! How could you not know!?

You were pulled out of your thoughts to Paige tapping your arm

"Mummy look a bean!" You looked the woman had moved again rolling the wand over the baby again this time slower double checking.

“Its not a bean that’s the baby look...see the arms and legs and there its head”

You could see clear as day the little heart arms and legs.Paige was quiet in awe of the screen, you'd told her she would just see a blob.

"Mummy its not just a blob like you said why?" You all chuckled at her.

"The baby has been in mummy's tummy longer than mummy thought" she smiled and bounced a little.

"So they were playing hide and seek?! Wow he's really smart" you grinned at her the sonographer spoke up again after doing a thorough check.

"Nope definitely sixteen weeks, we can't see the gender until at least sixteen weeks and I can definitely tell what it is" you looked to her smiling but deep down you were still in shock.

"I...Id like to know, Paige what do you think shall we find out if its a boy or a girl today?" She snapped her head to the sonographer gaping at her.

"We can do that??" The woman nodded

"Yes mummy I want to know!" You smiled and nodded to the woman.

"A boy, your having a son due in... Give me a second to work this out...Your baby boy should be here around... The third of November give or take a day or so" you smiled but was brought out of your daze by Paige's sniffles.

"Hey baby whats wrong? I thought you wanted a baby brother?" She hiccuped and threw herself across your chest.

"I-I do mu-mummy I-I’m just so h-happy!..I want him now mummy!" You hugged her tightly as she poked her head to the side as the woman began moving over the baby showing you and Paige their arms and legs and head again answering all of Paige’s questions. You smiled as your daughter stared in awe at the screen. She refused to let you hold the printed photos just staring at them the whole way home as if in a trance, she was completely and utterly enthralled with them.

Once at home you placed one in the baby book you and Paige had started and the other in an old photo frame and placed it beside Paige’s bed, she kissed it every morning and every night just like she did to your bump.

You sighed trying to move as fast as you could huffing and puffing trying to keep your shit together. You hated traveling well no you hated jet lag but you did what you had to do. You pushed past everyone thanking the gods that Kal was a good boy and walked on the lead nicely. Paige kept up with you pulling her own little suitcase behind her. You were onset going straight to Henry's as it was closer than the hotel trailer to drop off your things then going to see him shoot a little...Tho you were excited today was the day you told him...Showed him.

Some may have thought it was mean to keep it from him but you knew Henry...You knew he would come home for the pregnancy and put filming on hold which you wasn't going to let him do. So instead you and Paige had recorded everything doing the photos per week from sixteen.. Better late then never, you filmed all the scans and mile stones, filmed and photographed the nursery and everything Paige had done for the baby you'd documented everything for Henry to see so he wouldn't miss a thing!. It may have been to ,much for four weeks but in a way you were making up for lost time.

You sighed when you finally dropped the bags in his trailer. You and Paige were actually staying in a nearby hotel Henry was going to join you for a few weeks as he would be able to pop over to set when he was needed it wasn't that far.

"Mummy can I change into my top now?" She whined she was hot and irritable and just wanted her daddy.

"Please wait a moment Paige mummy only has two hands.... and she needs to pee..." you stopped noticing you’d snapped at the poor girl she looked at you upset

"I'm sorry baby mummy is just tired and her back hurts...Here you get it out while mummy uses the bathroom and put on your shorts you’ll be to hot in jeans" you said nodding to her case leaving her to et out her new shorts and 'super girl' t-shirt. You quickly used the bathroom and changed into your matching 'super mom' top and cropped maternity leggings then grabbed your hand bag and the huge card you’d had printed for Henry from Paige.

You and Paige found yourselves dragged across the set by Kal who had picked up his dads scent like the loyal pup he was and was marching you straight to him. You stood on the sidelines sneakily holding Paige’s cardigan over your bump hiding it.. At eighteen weeks your bump had started to grow faster as your son was gaining a little weight. You walked up to Zack the director who you’d met a on your visit to set when filming man of steel, he hugged you then pulled back as kal jumped up at him not aggressive but he just used his frame to push the other male away plopping right between you both. But Zack had felt why, he gave you a look then to Henry you knew what he w as asking you shook your head.

"No he doesn't its why I wanted to come earlier, wanted to tell...Show him and don't worry filming here stops when Im at 30 weeks so he wont be putting anything on hold" he smiled knowing Henry was going to be over the moon.

"Congratulations, he has been mentioning off offhandedly that you were trying again..." he turned to Paige.

"And you must be Miss Paige? My look at how big you’ve got?!" She stayed close to you looking at him confused

"We met before?" He chuckled

"Well no not really last time I saw your mummy you was in her belly." She scrunched up her nose then looked to you who nodded.

"Really? That was forever ago!" She said ,making you both laugh you smothered out her fringe, it had just had a trim and was already in her eyes again curling this way and that. She whined pushing your hand away fussing wanting to run to her daddy watching impatiently tapping her foot as they pulled him down from the apparatus that they used to film his flying scenes.

You flushed hormones going into overdrive as your man jumped down in his sexy tight supersuit. His ass was spot on! Definitely showed of the tight little peach you knew and loved. He looked up as Ben and Amy pointed you out to him. He yelled and waved over to you.You moved handing Paige the card and smoothed out her hair.

"Remember If daddy cries?"

"They're happy tears" you nodded enthusiastically released her and Kal who both ran to there dad full speed. You closed your eyes taking a deep breath. This was it."You okay there?" You smiled to Zack

"Nervous..I hope he isn't angry" he smiled patting your shoulder

"He wont be, go on go we are finished with him for the day" He said and pushed you forward a bit giving you the nudge you needed to move over to Henry.

Paige ran hands out to Henry who picked her up spinning her around giving her kisses Kal jumped up getting a stroke licking away at his hand and arm.

"Oh look at you baby! So big! You’ll be taller then mummy soon!" He chuckled throwing her in the air and settled her on his hip.

"Look daddy! Look we match!" He smiled kissing the top of her head.

"Yes I can see that! But I thought you liked batman now?"  He said twisting so Ben and Amy could see her they waved at her making her blush

"Yes I was looking forward to meeting a little batgirl?" She blushed harder going shy tucking her face in his neck as Ben spoke to her.

"Sorry Mr batman Mummy made me! So we could all match!" He laughed waving her off.

"Its fine kid I forgive you." Henry smiled at Ben he had told him all about how Paige was a batman fangirl and to be prepared. Amy was next to speak up.

"Oh sweety look at you! So cute!" She tilted her head at the woman

"Did you see me in my mummy’s tummy to?" She smiled nodding

"Yes I did! You know your daddy showed everyone the picture of you from inside your mummy’s belly! And this time he has been showing off your pictures from his phone when you were planting all your veggies!" She looked to Henry sighing

"Daadddyyy! Not pictures! Nooo!" He scoffed at her throwing her up and holding her above him with one hand making her scream.

"Yes pictures have to show off my cute little lady now don't I? everyone has said that you are the cutest nugget they've ever seen!" She whined covering her face with the massive envelope as Ben and Amy agreed Henry looked over at you confused as you made your way slowly over to them.

Paige moved making grabby hands to 'batman' who took her quickly.

"OH wait..Here daddy this is- I did it for you!" She leaned over passing Henry the card, he frowned and opened it slowly it was just a plain card from moon pig with Paige’s drawings printed on it.

Then he smiled looking up to you as you stopped next to him as he opened it causing the small gift to fall out, Amy and Ben looked and quickly snapped their gazes to you now noticing that your stomach was covertly covered. The reason why you had gotten such a huge card was to hid a gift inside. A tiny superman babygrow you’d had made saying super boy coming November 3rd.

He frowned looking down picking up the tiny garment and read it, you saw him freeze then snap his head to the inside of the card doing a double take there was a blown up ultrasound photo inside you watched him as he quickly flicked his eyes to the other side reading the message.

To daddy

You did it! After you left mummy got sick so went to the doctors and she has my baby brother in her belly...He was here when you went away but was playing hide and seek so we didn't know he was there. He is eighteen weeks old and the size of a artichoke! That’s really big! And he will be here for Christmas! See!

Lots of love Paige and Kal!’

He looked up at you holding the tiny babygrow shaking his head trying to catch up. You could see him trembling with excitement and disbelief reading and rereading the message, you were pregnant?  And it was a boy, he was having a son.

"What? We-were not? Are we? But how?" Paige nodded wriggling from Ben who almost dropped her, she ran to her daddy pulling his arm to see the card.

"Yes daddy you putted my baby brother in her tummy! Good job! He's getting big now see!...Mummy show him your tummy!" By Paige’s outburst you felt all eyes on you as you moved your carefully placed bag and Paige's cardigan to reveal the bump.

"Surprise?" He dropped the card running both hands threw his hair laughing speechless his shoulders trembling.

"You?! And oh my god really?" You blinked at him motioning to your stomach

"What?!...No babe I wearing a fat suit! Of course I’m pregnant! Fucking Idiot!" He launched him self at you hands smoothing your tummy.

"Really really? A boy? We're having a boy when? How? I thought that we? " he swallowed dryly as tears streamed down his face and he just kept circling his hands across your bump almost as if it would disappear. You nodded.

"Its why we couldn't time things...I was already pregnant, he is healthy and kicking he's due the third of November, and don't worry we have videos and photos of everything...And Paige has been making a baby book and telling him all about you...I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I didn't find out until I was fourteen weeks.. It took two weeks to get the first scan and Paige and I were told the gender then he was sixteen weeks! That was two weeks ago its why I wanted to rush out here and see you, but preschool wouldn't give Paige the time off and I had to have a doctors note and- and I'm so sorry I didn't tell you please don't be mad?." You finished breaking down crying he was quick to wrap himself around you.

"Hey whats wrong? Shh shh come here hey its okay I'm not mad" you sniffled as he tucked his face down to yours moving one hand from your stomach to wipe your tears away kissing your cheek.

"Y-you not?" He shook his head pressing his forehead against you.

"No of course not, you didn't know and when you found out you got here as soon as you could...You wanted to tell me in person and surprise me how can I be mad at that sweetheart?" He moved forward hugging you tightly kissing neck Paige moved between you pushing at him.

"No not to tight you'll hurt him! Daddy no!" He chuckled picking her up as she beat at his side and smooshed all three of you together. He rocked you from side to side and pulled back.

"I love you... My special girls" he moved his hand down to the swell of your bulge.

"And my little man" he lowered down pressing a kiss to where the baby laid you twitched as you felt them shift you sniffled again wiping the stray tears from your face.

"H-he knows your there he just moved" he smiled resting his head on your tummy Paige joined in pressing an ear to it and you smiled down at them. Nothing could describe the feeling of that moment even Kal ran up and leaned on your leg guarding his family. You all froze when you heard a smartphone camera go off you blinked at Amy who'd nabbed Henry's phone capturing he moment and waved it in the air.

[soulwillower]

isn’t this easy?• bill denbrough

(bill denbrough x reader)      

warnings: swearing, some angst, fluff, poorly written, unedited!!!

... idk what this is

[losers + reader are aged up to high school in this.]

2.2k words

♡

bill’s eye rolls were getting increasingly more aggressive and painful to watch as you and the losers sit in the clubhouse, silently eyeing the boy as he leans against a pole with his phone to his ear. on the other line, an upset voice spits words like “insensitive,” “asshole,” “stupid,” and “embarrassing” but bill says nothing back, sighs emitting slowly from worried down lips with a pained and embarrassed look.

bill was broke, and not in an economic sense as much as in his relationship. he’d never admit it to you up front, but he told eddie and ben three days ago that his girlfriend was taking so much more than she was giving. and its killing him. 

its not like none of you noticed, it’s just that he’s still with her despite that that hurts you.

you cant help the twinge of anger that lights a fire deep within you; you open your mouth to question the berating insults that were just flying through his phone from the girls that was supposed to love him.  

richie asks before you have a chance. “whats got your girl’s panties in such a twist, big bill?” mike chuckles and okay, not exactly the words you would have chosen, but the grimace and shrug bill responds with suggests the job was done either way.

“e-earlier today i m-made a thats wh-what she said j-joke.”

you blink and share a look with eddie before looking back in shock to bill. “and thats all? you got all of that just from a joke? what, was it bad?”

he shakes his head, “i th-thought it was funny. she and her boring flathead f-friends didnt. i’m in the d-doghouse, now.”

it’s quiet then, because all seven of you - and possibly bill himself - were all thinking it, but not even you or richie were bold enough to just say it. plus, bill could never betray the treatment that he’s always known, and it's killing you to watch him wilt under this girl. he gets this treatment from his parents and now his girlfriend, too. it hurts you everywhere.

and in the silence of the group, the sarcastic 'cheers' gesture that bill makes with his can of soda is a sad reminder that he’s going to stay true to the golden core that once defined a now-dying infatuation.

but you’re fairly certain that golden core started rotting the moment they’d met. 

- 

sometimes, when bill gets flashbacks or around the certain times that he cant help but stare forlornly at the empty room across his hall, he would call her.

she didn't get it, of course she didn't. she tried to help him the first few times, like a decent girlfriend - really, the bare minimum - but it got hard for her. or she didn't want that part of bill. 

she only wanted the ‘good parts,’ you’d heard. but that doesn't make sense, because every part of bill is a good part. 

she doesn't get him, she doesn't understand the depths of trauma and hurt that swirls slowly below the depths of his 6’1 frame - behind his smiles, his leadership, his kindness, cheer, and unsullied bravery and intuition.

the losers get it, you get it. because you were there along with him the whole time and though still none of you want to outright address it for fear of getting violently sick as you recall memories. 

but you and bill can talk about it in a way that’s accessible for the two of you and it’s typically stuff that makes you laugh or makes you uncomfortable upon reflection, the fuzzy memories that get harder to recall the older you grow. 

and because of that, more often than not you’ll get a text and then sit in your car down the block until you see her leave his house before sneaking to his room to comfort him and brush tears off his cheeks that roll down from both the petrifying fear of repressed memories along with the stinging pains of rejection from his disdainful girlfriend.

it was heartbreaking.

during those nights he tells you that he doesn't deserve someone like you and you think that’s absurd. but he also tells you how nice it is that you make him laugh when he knows he’s about to cry, and how you know exactly how he feels when those intrusive feelings get in the way and its almost too much. he says he loves you, and when you say it back it’s with a stabbing pain through your heart. because he loves you, but not in the same way. 

and sure, you dream of the day where bill wakes up and realizes that holy shit, you’ve been in front of him the whole time. but even that isn’t as important as your longing for bill to wake up and see that he just deserves better than her. 

you could give that to him, but even so, he just needs to get out of her talons because they were ripping him apart.

- 

and when it had been a few days since you'd last gotten to see bill, you decided you needed to check in on him. out of childhood habit, you walked through the backyard and went to knock on the back door. but his figure is already there and before your fist can make a sound,  the door slides open. “oh, hi.” you say, eyes wide, fist hovering above the empty space that once was bill’s sliding door.

bills green eyes swim with happiness and he gives you a tired smile, stepping out with you and giving you another glimmer of hope. “h-hey y/n, wh-what’s up?” he asks you, following you without question. you shrug, “wanted to go to the park. need to get away.” you explain, leaving out the 'you' at the beginning of your last sentence. he gives a blinding smile as he’s helping to lift you over his back fence. “g-good, i’ve been missing my g-girl lately.”

you think about those words the whole way to the park and they still make you smile as your legs brush against each other on the park bench. you can't help but watch him as he talks. the way his lips form words as he tries to force them out of his mouth, the embarrassed blush totally absent from his cheeks now that his girlfriend isn't around. he told you once with a grimace that she doesn't always love when he stutters.

you do, of course. you always love everything about bill.

and minutes later, when you crack a lewd joke, he looks shocked and unsurprised all at once that you can't help your stare as his green eyes flick around, checking if any kids at the park heard before looking to you. he tips his head back with a bright laugh, the melodic sound coaxing a laugh of your own from your lips. his arm casually comes to rest against the back of the bench as laughs still bubble from his cherry lips, his red hair glinting in the sun.

he looks at you and for the first time in months, he looks completely relaxed. “y/n!” he says, halfway between amusement and chastising, his lips still smiling. you smile back at him, holding his soft gaze as he shakes his head softly.

isnt this so easy?

you wonder briefly why it isnt easy like this with him and her.

because you just don’t get it. bill’s the kind of boy that everybody loves - very few people dislike him and if you discredit the psychopaths or lunatics that this town is riddled with, the people left are far and few between.

his girlfriend dislikes him now, though, and he dislikes her. but hes too nice to see that, because he just wants everyone around him to be happy even if its at his own expense.

- 

and then two weeks after their phone call in the clubhouse, he showed up at your door with short breaths, stuttering words, and tears swimming in his eyes. it was one in the morning and he looked almost as bad as you’d seen him since that one summer back in middle school.

and when you were up in your room, he told you all about their breakup and how that itself didnt hurt, but what was killing him was how foolish he’d been to keep on dating a girl who didnt show him the kind of love he wanted.

he started to say something else, but stopped and you didn’t bring it up, as much as you wanted to.

bill was sleeping on rocks at home, spending sleepless nights thinking about where they’d stepped and the entire mess that had thankfully ended tonight. but he couldn’t sleep well and the evidence was right under his eyes.

so you’d let him stay with you, and he insisted on sleeping on the floor but you thought that was nonsense. he curled up with you on the bed and it was the best sleep the two of you ever had.

- 

then it happened again a couple weeks after their break up. bill had run up to your front door and pounded on it until you begrudgingly answered. he'd woken you up, because it was seven in the morning and you gape at him - he looks like he's been up all night. "bill-" you start but he starts stuttering, talking a mile a minute as if he has to say something now or else he never could again.

the feeling of an empty pit in your stomach that wishes for a splash of light starts to grow as he looks at you almost warily. "y-y/n, i have to- just listen, p-please, because i n-need to a-ask you..."

you wait patiently, terrified because he looks like he might be sick, but he starts anyways. “y/n. you u-understand me, you always h-have...” he looks very anxious, and bill is rarely anxious so you start to panic. his next words are shocking.

“y/n, are y-you... are you in l-love with me?” he asks, and the air leaves your lungs. he’s watching you, looking torn, and it breaks your heart. it looks like he’s in pain and he looks so lost. you nod slowly, shrugging. “yeah, bill. i just- i cant help it.” you say, feeling defeated and somehow elated by your admission.

his eyes well with tears and he shakes his head. “im so s-s-sorry.” he whispers, voice cracking. it kills you. “i’m s-sorry, f-fuck.” 

you’re scared and confused and deeply sorrowful as his words leave his lips. just because he doesn't love you back doesn't mean he has to be sorry about it at all. 

 it hurts you to think that a boy who gives so much love for everyone can be so lost and unsure with himself, feeling so undeserving of real love. “y-y/n, i'm s- i didnt kn-know. i d-didnt know, i'm so s-sorry.”

he's hysteric and your heart hurts as you realize he's sorry that you had to see him with his ex all the time and you shake your head. you’ve never seen bill like this before. 

“bill, it's okay, i just want you to be happy, that’s all. i don't need you to- we dont have to-“

“-i don’t want to f-f-fuck it up w-with you, too. i’m s-scared.” he says softly, eyes bright and teary like summer grass after a long rain. his hands are shaking as he lifts them to rub at his tired eyes, lip quivering.

the world spins for both of you as you tentatively walk forward, grabbing his cheeks softly. theyre warm under your touch and when he looks down at you, the spinning stops.

“why do you think you could ever fuck it up with me?” you ask softly, genuinely curious as your heartbeat thumps against your chest. his eyes are closed, in either fear or regret. 

“you couldn’t if you tried. i love ‘thats what she said’ jokes.” you say teasingly.

bill laughs wetly, his cheeks slightly squishing as his wide smile is obstructed by your soft hands. “i love y-you.” he says, eyes opening to stare at you seriously. you raise your eyes, surprised and elated at his words.

“you do?” you ask dumbly, hands falling from his face to his shoulders to steady yourself. “y-yeah, i do. i think i have for a r-really long t-time.” he says sheepishly with a smile.

you can’t help but let out a relieved laugh, your shoulders relaxing as he grins down at you with a look full of nothing but love. 

“can i k-kiss you?” he whispers, hands sneaking to your cheek and neck. “please.” you say just as quietly, unable to wipe the smile from your face.

when he closes the gap, he tastes like salt but he kisses you softly with more intent and feeling than you ever thought possible.

his hands are gentle and rough all the same, kissing with wild fire and with calm waters. you feel pinned to earth and up in the clouds, his lips on yours and tongue swiping gently in your mouth. he’s smiling into your mouth, laughing gently with love as he pulls you closer, arms wrapping tightly around your middle.

the darkness that ached for the splash of light within you is completely gone now, replaced with glowing love, admiration for the boy that you’ve loved since middle school.

 he belongs with you.

[winnipegpatty]

Im So Sorry ❤️

Summary: you fly to Brazil to comfort Shawn when he has to cancel his first concert.

Words: 1.4k

————

You only found out about two hours before the rest of the world, but that was enough time for you to get to the airport and on the earliest plane to Brazil. Andrew was the only one that knew you were coming, but that was enough. He’d have a car waiting for you, he’d told you.

It might seem crazy to hop on a plane to Brazil just because your boyfriend was sick, but you knew it was so much more than that. It was the first time Shawn had ever canceled a show. And a show in Brazil nonetheless, these were the shows he didn’t get to do very often. These were the fans that had little to no opportunity to see him unless he came to their country. Fans in the states or Europe even, they’d go to upwards of ten shows in one tour if their hearts really desired to do so. But the Asia leg, Latin America, and South America leg of the tour, those were special. These were fans who had probably never seen Shawn before, and may never get that opportunity again. They’d plan months in advance to see him. And as much as knew the fans were looking forward to this night, you knew Shawn was too.

You also knew Shawn would be blaming himself. The fact alone that he hadn’t called you to tell you, told you he was devastated and angry with himself. Probably going through his past week, picking apart every little thing he’d done wrong that could have caused him to make it to this point today. He forgot to do vocal exercises one day, or didn’t drink enough juice another day, or he hadn’t had the proper sleep on the plane rides, or maybe he went a little to hard night one, or at the AMA’s. He’d blame every single little thing, except the one thing that was the actual cause of his illness.

95 shows. In 8 months.

It was a miracle he hadn’t had to cancel a show any sooner. You’d had concerns when he’d told you last year how long this tour was going to be, but he was nothing but thrilled to be touring the world again. You understood, it’s the artist’s dream. It’s what they live for. He was just ready to sing again. He was concerned about show design, setlists, tour details. You were always only concerned with him.

And that’s why you were flying to Brazil, no matter how crazy it sounded.

You landed in Brazil only a couple hours before the show would have happened.

Usually you try to stay off social media when it comes to concerns about Shawn, but the plane ride was long. You got bored, and finally caved and connected to the wifi. Videos of Shawn sitting in the back of the stadium visibly upset, were all over the internet. Fans were sending him well wishes, and if #GetWellSoonShawn wasn’t trending already, you’re sure it would be within the hour. And this was the exact reason you wanted to be there for him. He needed someone there to remind him to take care of himself. It would be okay for just a few hours to forget about the world and their expectations of him, and just put himself first.

The ride from the airport to the hotel where Shawn was staying wasn’t too long, and you knew you’d be seeing him soon. Despite the circumstances of your visit, you had missed Shawn since his last visit home, and you were excited to see your boy again. Andrew met you in the lobby of the hotel, where there are a good thousand screaming girls out front.

“Welcome to Brazil,” Andrew greets you with a the most sugary sweet voice you’ve ever heard from him.

“Hey Andrew.” You smile lightly at him as you both reach the front counter.

The lines around Andrew’s eyes are just a bit deeper today, and the bags are just a bit darker. He looks tired, understandably.

“How is he?” You say quietly as the woman across from you gets your keys prepared.

Andrew sighed, “A mess. But you know him well enough to know he would me.”

“It’s why I’m here.” You match Andrews sigh, a heaviness coming over you. Seeing Shawn broken is never easy, but it happens to even the happiest of people.

You grab the key to Shawn’s room from the woman at the counter, and Andrew shows you the way through the hotel. “We finally got him to leave the stadium about forty five minutes ago. So he’s in his room.”

You nod, “Thanks Andrew, we really appreciate you.”

The two of you separate as Andrew heads to his room and you enter Shawn’s room as quietly as possible. You could have knocked, sure, but Shawn is used to other people having access to his room for emergency reasons. You know he wouldn’t be too alarmed from the door opening. You prop your suitcase at the entrance and make your way into the room, finding Shawn propped up on his bed, looking out the window. He hadn’t even moved when the door opened.

“Hey bub,” you whisper as you gently ease yourself onto the edge of the bed.

Shawn’s body immediately shifted towards you. His eyes landed on you, and within seconds of making eye contact, he broke down in tears. “What are you doing here?” He stuttered out. You moved quickly to sit right next to him, thigh pressed against thigh. You take his cheeks in your hands and pull him towards you.

“I had to come see the most important person in my world.”

Shawn let out a light sob as you did your best to quiet him, not wanting to strain his voice.

“I messed up.” He choked out.

“No, no you didn’t, Shawn.” You run a hand through his curls tugging gently on one so he’d look at you. Through wet eyelashes, he looks up at you, and your heart breaks a million times over. There’s very few things in the world worse than the twisting that’s happening in your stomach right now. “Babe, you go sick because you’re working so much. It happens, people get sick and they call out of work all the time. The world goes on, and you heal, and the next day you come back stronger than before.”

“But,” Shawn hiccups, wiping his nose on his sleeve, “When a normal person calls in sick to work, they don’t,” he hiccups again, “Disappoint 80,000 people.”

“Shawn, your health is more important than someone’s happiness for two hours. If you don’t get well, you’d disappoint so many more people down the road. We have to take care of you.”

Shawn nods slowly, “I know.” He looks earnestly into your eyes, as his tears slowed. “I know it, I do. But how do you get over the feeling that you’ve got the weight of the world resting on your shoulders and one mess up could ruin it all?”

You smile gently. “Babe, the world doesn’t actually revolve around you.”

Shawn huffs, “I know that.” He pushes himself upright on the bed.

“Right, okay, then the world won’t stop just because of a canceled concert.”

“Why does my heart hurt so bad though?” His eyes are wide and glossy staring at you. He’s beautiful, even in sadness and dispair.

“Because you wanted to do better. But sometimes your body can’t keep up with what your heart wants. You wanted to sing to all your fans, and give them the best night of their lives, but your body can’t keep running on empty. You’ve got to stop to refuel.”

Shawn sighed, “I just want to forget about it. Forget about all the people I’m letting down.”

“Then forget it, let’s think about other things.”

Shawn nods, almost eagerly. “I want to hear about what’s going on at home.”

You lean down to gently place a loving kiss on Shawn’s lips. “Okay, but first, go shower, and I’ll order us some food.”

Shawn nods, leaning in to grab her neck and kiss you for a few short moments. “I really love you so much. Thank you for coming.”

“I’ll be here anytime you need me, Shawn.”

————

A/N: Please send me comments/reblogs/feedback etc. It really helps me know you like the content I’m writing. Also if you like this check out my masterlist or buy me a coffee. Both links are in my bio

[kilibaggins]

I know this isn't the content I usually make but i wanted to get this off my chest.

Okay y'all can judge me all you want.

But Twilight wasn't that bad imo.

Yes, it has problematic parts (Like many books and movies that don't age well in society) but overall I don't think it was too bad.

Definitely not bad enough for everyone to bully people who enjoyed it.

I literally kept my love for Twilight inside of my head because I was TERRIFIED of being bullied for it back when I was SUPER into it.

Now, it's just something that I love in a way that's hard to explain.

Its like a distant friend/relative that I still love but barley think about/see.

Smeyer is not the best person at all.

I don't support her (not so secret) secret racism pushed into the books.

But as a whole I love the books and movies.

Twilight was the first real Novel Series I ever read. That wasn't completely for children or had pictures in it. I absolutely loved it ahen i read it, and i still Do.

The movies are also not that bad.

Yes, the characters are awkward but like???? They're vampires and teenagers. They don't have very good social cues tbh. (Their "people skills" and "rusty") and yeah, I definitely think Bella is low-key a very relatable character, even as a guy.

Awkward? Check

Stutters? Check

Stares at the cute boy? Check

Falls in love (slightly) too easily? Check

Has this resting ""bitch"" face? Check

Annoyed with her father? Check

Completely apathy (or so it seems) towards certain situations? Check

The only thing I DIDN'T fine relatable was Guys hitting on her, but honestly?

That's just because I'm Ugly and un-lovable tbh.

And also? "ShE nEvEr SmIlEs!1!"

Isn't that Something we're trying to combat?

Aren't we trying to tell people that people don't NEED to smile for them to be treated with Basic respect and not be judged?

Also, I think the main reason it used to be so popular to hate on Twilight, it was because teenage girls were the primary fandom at the time.

And for some reason Society decides to hate on anything teenage girls enjoy, or what they think only Teenage girls enjoy.

Some recent examples of this.

Tik Tok.

Billie Eilish

Shipping

Fanfic

Starbucks

Uggs

ANYTHING ELSE IM FORGETTING

It's all hated on because people have this weird thing for hating things that teenage girls enjoy.

The bottom of Billie Eilish's videos if you look and scroll thers probably about fifty jokes about

"oh thirteen year old girls think this is deep, it's not shut up"

"teenage girls are sitting here thinking this is deep!"

And I'm fucking tired of it.

People really like to hste on anything that teenage girls like.

Back to Twilight. I'm sick of people being shamed for enjoying it!!

If a girl has a few Twilight posters in her room, and she has a choker that has the Cullen Family crest on it, she ashamed fucking relentlessly and told shes stupid and "A Deep basic white teenage girl".

But if a Male sports fan goes out and buys Sports posters and puts them on his wall and buts crazy expensive Jerseys and stuff, nobody bats an eye.

I'm just really upset that Teenage girls are called "Cringe" for liking things but Grown Ass Men or Teenage boys can do what they want to celebrate what they enjoy without being made fun of.

In conclusion: Twilight isn't that bad, Y'all are Just Mean and Love to hate what Teenage Girls™ primarily Enjoy.

[melonkooky]

stray kids reaction - their crush not being a cuddly person but wanting to cuddle

requested

genre: fluff

author’s note: this post is a mess, it’s kinda random, but it still fits the request. i wanted to get this out so im sorry if it’s a little rushed or inconsistent, i swear it’s not ion purpose. nevertheless, i hope you guys all enjoy this reaction!! love you!! (also, as always, ignore my mistakes lol)

please do not copy my work. but please like and reblog it. thank you!!!!

bang chan

you were squished next to chan on the couch while the other members were crowded around you. everyone agreed on watching a movie together, especially a new movie that had come out recently but wasn’t able to see in theaters.

as you watched the movie, you glanced at chan. his full attention was on the movie, eyes wide and a small smile on his face. you sighed. you weren’t a naturally cuddly person, but currently, you wanted nothing more than to be hugged. more specifically, by chan. you had a crush on him.

you didn’t know what to do. you were getting annoyed, and cold by that matter. would it be weird to just ask chan to hold you? you sighed and opted for just slowly leaning your body against bang chan’s. he noticed, turning to you. “are you cold?” he asked quietly.

you nodded, and a second later you were feeling an arm wrap around you, pulling you into his side. you blushed. when you peered up at bang chan’s, from the light of the tv, you saw that he was blushing too, and was trying his best to not grin happily or get too excited over what was happening. you smiled shyly and cuddled closer. chan was adorable…

woojin

the other members suspected of something going on between you and woojin. of course, both you and woojin were completely oblivious to that, or at least thought of it as too good to be true. one day, you and a few of the other members were walking in the city. half of the members wanted to stay at home, so only minho, chan, felix, and jeongin tagged along.

however, your phone had told you that the weather was going to be warm. as you walked, it seemed like a storm was coming in, and you didn’t bring any sort of jacket or umbrella. this was unsuspected. woojin said that it’ll probably just pass over, but boy was he wrong.

the rain started coming down hard, not sparing any one of the cold water. woojin grabbed your hand, guiding you to a random store. it was a clothing store, and you saw that a few others had ran in here after getting soaked. “that was close.” woojin said, watching other people run by with their bags or umbrellas over their heads. you nodded, just as you began to shake. you were freezing. in order to warm up, you wanted woojin to hug you. but you were scared.

with a motivation sigh, you hesitantly, and shakily, wrapped your arms around his torso. he was soaked too, you didn’t know what you were thinking. but it felt nice to hold him, and to be cuddled. he wrapped his arms around you, although you didn’t have a chance to see how red woojin’s cheeks became after you hugged him. he was trying not to scream happily basically.

minho

you and minho were already good friends. you and minho had personalities that moved in sync with each other.

one day, minho offered to take you out on a picnic. your first thought was along the lines of, “does he like me? is he going to confess his feelings?” but then you thought that you were just being annoying. you and minho were simply friends.

minho had attempted to make food, with the help of the other members. he laid out a blanket and placed the basket on one of the corners, as well as drinks on another corner. anything to hold the blanket in place. you and him talked and laughed and enjoyed your time together, until minho suggested to lay down and watch the clouds. you weren’t really into that, but you were with your crush, and you will enjoy every moment you got with him.

so you and minho are laying on your backs, watching the clouds. minho would point a few shapes here and there, and then laugh when you admitted that you could see it. you were getting tired when a thought came, you wanted to cuddle with minho. you liked him a lot, and you often wondered if he liked you back. so without asking, you scooted closer and hugged his side. minho laughed nervously, a blush in his cheeks. “this is unusual.”

you blushed. “it’s because i like you, you idiot.” minho was utterly shocked. he cuddled you back, smiling to himself when you fell asleep against him. perhaps he should confess…

changbin

changbin was in the kitchen by himself, opening and closing cabinets, then the fridge, repeating each process multiple times. you felt that on a spiritual level when trying to find something to eat. “changbin!” you called, nearly scaring him. “are you okay?”

he didn’t look at you, and you didn’t notice the blush in his cheeks. “yeah, just looking for something to eat.”

you nodded, joining him in the kitchen. “i’m hungry too.” changbin didn’t reply, instead, he went into the pantry, distracting himself and reading random boxes and bags. you sighed, feeling your heart grew heavier. “did i do something wrong?” you finally asked.

changbin immediately shook his head. “no no. you didn’t.” finally, you couldn’t take it any longer. the strangeness of his actions were weird. so, you walked into the pantry, stood in front of his, and wrapped your arms around his waist. changbin was surprised, gasping at the sudden action, and he didn’t bother to hide how red his cheeks were. his heart raced as he hesitantly wrapped his arms around you, relishing your warmth.

hyunjin

hyunjin was by himself in the bedroom, taking a long needed nap. it was a deep sleep, and he was out cold. you were at the dorms, hanging out with the members, but who did you really want to hang out with? hyunjin of course. he was the one that you really came to see, being best friends with him and all, and perhaps having a major crush on him.

while the members were immersed in an argument about what type of pizza was better, you slipped away, going to find hyunjin. they had told you he was in the bedroom, and you were curious as to what he was up to. however, you didn’t expect him to be face down on top of his covers, face pressed into the sheets. mouth slightly open. he looked adorable and irresistible. you couldn’t help yourself, so you laid down next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist.

an hour later, hyunjin woke up and nearly screamed finding someone laying next to him, but he recognized who it was. he was flustered, like to the point where his cheeks were bright red and his heart was racing out of his chest, he didn’t know what to do. and you were fast asleep. but, as hyunjin calmed down, he thought that you looked cute. it wasn’t everyday that you wanted to cuddle, and this was new to him. so, he got comfortable, adjusted himself to cuddle you back, and fell back asleep, a small, content smile on his face.

jisung

jisung had been acting extremely weird around you. you would often go up to him and he would avoid eye contact and seem restless. you would try to talk to him and he would stutter a lot. it was, in a way, stressing you out. why was he acting like this only around you?

jisung was working on a few songs by himself. so you went up to a few of the members who were watching tv. you asked them why he was acting so weird. they all seemed to know why, but instead of telling you, they told you to talk to him. so you tracked down jisung in his bedroom. he was surprised to see you walk in, a shy smile on his face. you didn’t hold back, you told him everything. “why have you been acting weird around me?”

and that’s when he admitted that he has feelings for you. it was a difficult process, but he spoke his feelings and thoughts. you blushed and grinned happily. later that night, while in his bedroom, you found yourself cuddling into his side. you didn’t realize it, but jisung was completely frozen and unable to focus on his work. but, he didn’t say anything because he enjoyed the warmth and affection.

felix

felix had approached you, asking if you wanted to see a movie with him. he was bored out of his mind, as he claimed to you, and begged you and begged you until your agreed. however, you did not expect him to buy two tickets for it: chapter 2. you were scared, and slightly excited as you did have a sliver of you that wanted to see it, and felix seemed very excited. he was raving about how good the first one was. so you and him got food and found your seats.

when the movie finally played, you anticipated all the jump scares and horror scenes. you were feeling yourself shake and cower. at one point, you accidentally grabbed felix’s hand and squeezed it. felix blushed but assumed that it didn’t mean anything. finally, you couldn’t take the scariness. you lifted up the drink holder in order to scoot over into felix’s seat and hold him. felix was absolutely  surprised, and his mind drifted away from the movie. you had never done this before. he was flustered, but seeing as you were shaking, he wrapped his arms around you (also because he was slightly scared himself).

after the movie, neither of you spoke a word, but the secret glances you and felix shared were noticed by the other guys. they noticed the blush in your and felix’s cheeks, so they came up with a plan to get you and felix together, but that’s another story.

seungmin

you were upset about the amount of stress you were experiencing. you had a lot on your plate, including stuff with work and school. you were also very exhausted and slowing your patience was wearing thin. you were at the dorm, a place you normally were at being friends with all the members. you were at the dinner table, all of your work spread out in front of you. and you just couldn’t take it.

the members heard you begin to cry from various places in the dorm. and seungmin was worried but he didn’t know what to do, so chan pushed him forward, “comfort her.” he demanded.

seungmin shyly and nervously sat down next to you, asking if you were okay. you only shook your head. seungmin began rubbing your shoulder in a comforting manner but it wasn’t working, so he stood up and hesitantly pulled you into a hug. immediately you melted into him and held him close. he was proud of himself for simply hugging you, he was surprised, however, by how you reacted. after you stopped crying, you pulled away, a deep blush in your cheeks. first, you had cried into seungmin’s shirt, and two, you and seungmin were hugging pretty intimately. you quickly apologized, but seungmin said that it was okay, silently hoping that there would be more moments where you and him could show more skinship (seungmin was head over heels for you, don’t tell him i said that.)

jeongin

jeongin was already shy as it is. he was both shy and young, which meant he was a little inexperienced in the whole dating aspect. he liked you, quite frankly. but he was too scared to do anything. one day, you were hanging out with him in his bedroom. the atmosphere was kinda heavy and awkward, neither of you spoke. “so, what’s up?” you’d ask every so often, earning a laugh from jeongin since you’ve asked the same question over and over.

finally, jeongin asked if you liked anybody, which was weird of him. when you glanced over, his cheeks were red hot. “jeongin, are you okay?”

he nodded. “yeah… just thinking.”

you curled into his side, cuddling him. jeongin swallowed hard, his cheeks burning still. his heart beat rapidly, but he tried to maintain his composure while you held him close. you had never done this before, and he had never been in this situation before. he tried to remain, still normal. “what are you thinking about?” you asked quietly.

jeongin spoke random thoughts to you, feeling very close and intimate with you in that moment. he was content, talking to you about everything, of course leaving out the part where he liked you. he was going to wait a little while until he would finally tell you...

[kinkymagnus]

hmm let's talk more about twi Malec, like there's just so many endless possibilities

any specifics? no? just kidding, you can’t respond, this is an ask! okay, i’m just gonna throw some random twi malec shit out here then

twi magnus…..hes soft. but also. i feel like since he’s got more Repression™ than canon magnus he’s like WAY WILDER. 

canon magnus a few months into them boning: hey alexander wanna tie me up? ;) 

twi magnus a few months into them boning: hey so i have potion that will give you magical tentacles to tie me up and fuck me with?

(obviously this isn’t just out of nowhere or anything but im saying while they’re both kinky twi magnus is surprisingly a little more shameless when it comes to sex things.) 

twi alec. is HORNY. so horny. canon alec? pretty horny. twi alec? MAXIMUM HORNY. good thing, too, because twi magnus hasn’t been fucked in a few centuries and that has BUILT UP. 

they bone a LOT 

also imagine: twi alec and shitty one-liners/pick-up lines and bad jokes

twi alec says, completely deadpan, “want me to take you to the Bone Zone?” and twi magnus first is like “i am, frankly, horrified and disgusted” but can’t stop himself from laughing (especially once alec is laughing at the cute little face he makes with the scrunchy nose, and it’s so contagious magnus can’t help but laugh too) 

i have a line in one of my twi fics where magnus basically says something like (jokingly/playfully!) “you’re pretty full of yourself, huh?” and alec responds “how you’d like to be full of me, too?” and magnus giggles and it’s ADORABLE AND THAT LINE IS JUST SO FUCKING TWI MALEC TO ME OKAY?

also twi magnus is not innocent of pun crimes. no magnus is innocent of pun crimes. 

twi magnus: [makes a cute bad pun] [wiggles eyebrow a bit] 

twi alec: that was terrible. that was a real stinker. what the fuck.

twi magnus, every goddamn time: gonna PUNish me? ;D

twi alec can and will cook breakfast in bed for his boyfriend

magnus, sleepily blinking: hng? 

alec, with pancakes and eggs and bacon and freshly squeezed orange juice: hey babe :) decided to surprise you :) it’s “i love my boyfriend” day

magnus, still half asleep: ufck did iforget something i dont have anytihnf oryoutgfckkk

alec: oh no babe “i love my boyfriend” day is every day because i always lvoe you and i just decided to do something nice for you :)

magnus: did the dream about wearing acid washed jeans keep you up again?

alec, shuddering: they’re so ugly

okay but seriously he’d totally just be sappy and make magnus breakfast and stuff

and magnus is like “i can make u a sweet dreams potion?”

MAGIC REVEAL does not get TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH. STILL. 

possibility one: alec walks in on magnus making a bunch of chores do themselves fantasia style and is like. uh. what the FUCK. and all the dishes drop to the floor and magnus honestly looks so SCARED that alec’s heart breaks a little even tho he’s also trying to process how confused he is and magnus stutters out something about not being a monster and may or not may not be descending into a panic attack because he’d been so careful for so long not to reveal the truth to ANYONE, only like three people know who and what he is that he actually talks to in the world and a mundane finding out is not good much less his wonderful boyfriend who’ll LEAVE HIM and HATE HIM and he’s–he’s–and alec’s like. oh fuck that. and hugs him like hey it’s okay i’m really confused and i hope you explain later but you could literally never be a monster, especially not for floating some dishes,

possibility two: magnus, scared shitless, tells him, but alec always knew. i love this shit. alec’s just like “babe. babe you weren’t subtle.” because magnus has got a lot of really powerful magic and he’s only jst learning to control it again and it’s waking up, like having a foot that’s been asleep for a long time waking up except if the foot changed the color of the wallpaper when it sneezed and glowed when it was happy. this metaphor broke down. you get the idea. 

there are more possibilities but im tired

ok but when magnus’s magic is revealed. magnus is like. 1. ecstatic to give alec lots of little magical gifts like a little enchanted pendant with protective charms and a magic candy (like a chocolate frog, just a fun little thing that would make him laugh) and the sweet dreams potion and so on. 2. kind of expecting like. he’s more than willing to give, but he kind of lowkey expects alec to like. expect it. to expect magical solutions to his problems. magnus can do the dishes with a wave of his hand, he kind of expects to do the dishes every time now that alec knows he can do that. but alec’s like “what are you doing” “…magic? we’ve gone over this” “yeah but it’s my turn” and magnus is like “i can just do it with a wave of my hand” and alec’s like “you think i dont notice how you collapse in my arms for cuddling and end up dozing off every time? it takes energy. and even if it didn’t we still share the workload even if you can do something easier you don’t have to do everything for me” and magnus is lik,,e,,e,,e,e??? oh. 

like alec appreciates him and is so loving and wonderful and thankful for things magnus does give him but he doesn’t let magnus indulge in the tendency to put everyone else first and take on all the work? he doesn’t take magnus’s magic for granted? 

it’s great

nsfw detour!!! 

twi magnus gets RAWED

u kno how i said that twi magnus is horny and wild? and also lonely and has not had a good hard fuck in possibly over a century? 

magnus has an extensive toy collection.

many, many dildos and vibrators. nipple clamps, magic toys that can fuck him or tie him up… and it’s like all different sizes, types, materials, uses… some costumes and stuff that he bought for himself because they make him feel good/pretty but he doesn’t wear that often because it feels shameful or weird to do by himself.

alec definitely teases him senseless. ties him up and presses the vibrator to his clit until he’s crying, rolling it around and applying pressure and then taking it away again, stimulating his whole clit without mercy

or those. i dont know what they’re called, they suck (literally, not as in “this is bad/this sucks”) and make ur clit/nipples get swollen and sensitive? yes.

fuck his pussy AND ass with various dildos and toys of different sizes and shapes :)) 

sometimes at the same time :))))) 

y’all alec recording him or taking pictures. making him feel so deliciously exposed and watched. amazing and iconic 

also: public sex. twi malec can have fun too

it’s not right away, i feel like twi magnus would be more into things like overstimulation and getting recorded than being fucked in front of people. he still loves the latter, don’t get me wrong, but it’s more canon magnus’s thing? he’s more used to like… showing off ;)

but when magnus does feel confident enough to try that (baby steps–alec groping/teasing him in public, maybe fooling around in a vip booth at pandemonium or its equivalent, until he’s ready to be fucked properly and god once he is, once he lets go, it’s so amazing

he’s used to hiding, hiding under layers both literal and metaphorical, and here he is totally exposed and vulnerable but 1. he’s being taken care of and he’s safe and alec is just making him feel so good, kind of like, forcing himself to express how good he feels and not hide it, making him scream and cry and beg and love it, 2. he’s just? being admired? worshiped? there is nothing demeaning about this, it couldn’t be further from it, he’s exposed and people are fucking basking in it. he looks beautiful, he looks goddamn stunning, he looks fucking amazing and everyone wants to watch and touch and alec’s there holding him and loving him,,, aAAHHh

twi alec becomes immortal, no one can change my mind.

twi magnus: i love you but……i’m…i’m immortal

twi alec: oh. that…. ok.twi magnus, sad: it’s okay… i understand if you want to l–twi alec: become immortal to be with you? oh good i know it’s kind of a dedication considering i haven’t even proposed to you yet–twi magnus: yet? wait-

obviously twi alec doesn’t just completely jump into this with no consideration but look. look. he loves magnus so much, and anyway, it’s not like immortality doesn’t hold any appeal for him anyway. yeah, he knows it’s harder than it sounds, but like, there’s so much potential in things he could learn and do and see, and he could do it all WITH THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE. he could NOT leave him behind when he’s been left so many times before. he has hesitations, but like, in the end he chooses immortality and he doesn’t ever regret it

it’s like that stardust quote. “ I imagine [immortality] would be kind of lonely. Well, maybe if you had someone to share it with. Someone you loved. Then it might be different.” LDKJFLKGJHG YEAH BITCH THAT’S MALEC

also angst: magnus is like. at first. actually against the idea. and alec’s kinda like. hurt/confused/upset. and then magnus explains that if alec’s mortal, magnus will lose him to death–maybe sooner if alec leaves him, but it’s like a letting go thing, it’s inevitable. but if he’s immortal? all of magnus’s immortal lovers… they get tired of him. they get bored. they get annoyed. they stay with him, maybe they’re even in love, for a few years, or if he’s lucky, decades. but eventually they always leave. they drift apart first, they might suggest seeing other people. but they always leave. if alec’s mortal, his leaving is inevitable even tho it will break magnus’s heart. if he’s immortal, then it will inevitably be a choice, and it will shatter him all the more.

of course, magnus wouldn’t stop him even if he was very staunchly against it, it’s alec’s life, but like. he’s worried.

and worse, it’s not just that, but like. once alec grows tired of him, because he will, everyone does, once alec decides he made the wrong choice… he can’t take it back. if it’s soon enough, all his friends and family will be old, and he’ll be forever young, even if he is able to become mortal again it won’t be the same. and if it’s later, they’ll all be dead. magnus doesn’t doubt his ability to make new friends, of course, but the idea of alec regretting his choice, leaving him and being alone or feeling alone, of alec being out in the world lasting forever because of him, cursed with that same lonely immortality magnus has? that thought hurts more than anything, causing alec his type of pain.

so alec is like. no. NO. what the fuck i’m not. i’m not going to grow SICK of you, i’d never be tired of you, or–bored? REALLY? of you? what the fuck. your past lovers suck.

to be clear not every single one of magnus’s exes suck, but they all did leave him in some shape way or form, or else they wouldn’t be exes. you feel. i mean, he’s still friends with dot but it’s been centuries and we dont know what happened between then and now? idk man let me have that angst ok

eventually alec can convince magnus that he’s not leaving and he loves magnus and it’s okay but that little doubt niggles at the back of his head you know? 

on their hundred year anniversary alec kisses him senseless and says “still not bored of you”

same with every other anniversary, but especially the big century ones

they don’t ever break up. they have fights, some worse than others, it’s not perfect, but they always find their way back to each other and communicate and mend their wounds

twi malec cuddling during thunderstorms, thank you.

magnus curled in alec’s arms, face buried in his shoulder

alec’s arms around him

yes

ok but look. twi alec being social media savvy. 

(note: i have never used instagram and i am MAKING SHIT UP.)

alec with an instagram. he’s out here taking pictures of his sweet adorable boyfriend. he’s got a decent number of followers but it goes up a LOT when he starts dating magnus because holy shit who’s this cutie? and then someone finds those god-awful cringey commercials that i still insist magnus made on a dare he lost PLEASE he’s a dork but REALLY?, and they’re like WAIT THIS IS THAT PSYCHIC GUY FROM THE MEME COMMERCIAL WOW HE’S DORKY CUTE AND HOT? and magnus is like (hides face) oh my god

why does this make me think of a twi malec youtuber au–no no no NOT RIGHT NOW

[ivy-stjames]

I’LL TAKE CARE OF YOU → ivy + julien

WHO: @ivystjamess && @julien-schuester WHERE: the shawnee country club pool WHEN:  tuesday morning, july seventh WHAT:  ivy has a big secret and an even bigger mouth. with julien being the only other one around, she can’t help but both literally and figuratively spill her guts. 

possible tws: pregnancy mention, teen pregnancy, vomit mention.

IVY:  THE SKY WAS BURNT A SHADE OF RED THAT ONLY MEANT DAWN WAS BREAKING. if not for her sour mood, she might have enjoyed the pretty shade. tired from a long night of bickering with both julien schuester and her boyfriend, ivy st.james stood slumped and reluctant at the pools edge. she didn't often work mornings at shawnee, yet there she stood, fishing trash and leaves from the pool and preparing for a full and busy day. unfortunately for her, despite their blow out, julien stood nearby, net also in hand. usually ivy really liked work, she liked getting to spend the time with julien, but today she was giving him the full blown silent treatment. that was probably for the best though. julien just looked hungover. and ivy? well ivy was experiencing some nasty morning sickness, but from an outsider perspective, she probably seemed just as hungover as the male besides her. she worked in silence, yawning and tossing the occasional glare in julien's direction as if to silently tell him 'you missed a leaf'. the sloshing of the pool water and the back and forth morion of the net weren't doing much for the overwhelming nausea she felt. ivy felt like she could collapse at any moment. she was sweating way too much for the sun to not be fully out yet. eventually, ivy stopped fishing out any muck from the water as she struggled to get a grip. it was becoming increasingly difficult to focus on anything other than the churning in her stomach and the unmistakable salivation at the back of her throat. with a final lurch of her stomach, ivy's eyes went wide and she broke her silence with an "i'll be right back!" before letting her net sink to the bottom of the pool and sprinting off to the bathroom. Ivy didn't keep track of how long she had been gone. between the tears and the hurling and the absolute miserable attempts to comfort herself, time seemed nonexistent. while, the nausea eventually subsided, a muffled sobbing remained.  she was pregnant. there was no denying that anymore. and god did she feel scared. leaning pathetically against the wall of a stall, she froze as she heard the bathroom door creak open. frantically, she tried to wipe her tears, but by the time the stall door was opened and julien was hovering over her, it was no use. "julien i. . ." she wanted to yell, scream at him to get out and leave her alone, but she did nothing of the sorts. instead, ivy found herself breaking down into tears again and repeating, "im sorry. . ."

JULIEN:  Julien strongly disliked the opening shift at work. He was a teenage boy, so naturally he liked sleeping in. But every now and then he was unfortunately tasked with what Shawnee liked to call the ‘sun rise’ shift. This meant he had to show up extra early to make sure the pool area was clean and ready for the week ahead, especially if there were any swim meets scheduled. Usually only one person was on schedule for the shift, sometimes two. He liked it way better when he wasn’t working alone because then he at least had someone to talk to and goof around with. But Julien’s luck was clearly shot because on this particular Tuesday, his co-worker on schedule was Ivy. On a normal day, this would’ve been ideal. But after their very weird and unwarranted fight? It was kind of awkward. Julien was doing his best not to let the tension get to him, but that was hard given the fact that Ivy had decided they were fully not speaking to each other. Sure, he had said some harshish things the night before and he was paying for them today with his hangover, but this felt like an overreaction. Whatever, if she wanted to be mad, then fine. Julien connected his phone to the bluetooth pool speakers and started playing his ‘songs girls should sing to me in glee club’ playlist as he bobbed around the pool, raking the leaves out of the water. He stole the occasional glance at Ivy, but more often then not she was looking away from him or glaring. Julien was reaching a breaking point and was about to break the ice when Ivy’s eyes went wide as she dropped her skimmer into the water and bolted towards the bathroom. “What the hell, Ivy?!” Julien called out after her, groaning as he ran (breaking the #1 rule) to where she’d been standing and submerged his arm into the water to fish out the pole before the net sank to the bottom of the pool. Was her behavior concerning? Yes. But it was probably something dumb, knowing her. Plus, he’d learned his lesson about checking in on her. But then one song turned to three and then to six and Ivy still hadn’t come out of the bathroom. Okay…maybe something really was wrong. Julien tried to ignore his gut feeling, but it got to be too much to bear. With a sigh, he put his skimmer down along the edge of the pool and cautiously entered the girls bathroom. “Ivy?” he called out, bending down and looking underneath the stall doors for feet. When he caught a glimpse of someone sitting on the ground, knees hugged to their chest, his fight or flight kicked in. With a lot a worry and a little bit of physical force, Julien was able to pull open the stall door only to reveal a fallen apart Ivy on the ground. “Hey…” he sighed out, brows furrowed as he dropped to his knees next to her, “jeez, are you okay?” Julien took one glance at the contents of the toilet and quickly flushed it before he reached for the toilet paper and tore a bundle off the roll. “What are you sorry for, legs? It’s okay,” he said quietly, offering her a tiny smile as he handed her his makeshift tissue. Without thinking twice, Julien sat down and extended his legs in front of him so that Ivy was essentially sitting in between them and wrapped his arms around her. “You’re okay…” he repeated, over and over until the dust seemed to settle and then he asked, “what happened?”

IVY:  IVY COULDN'T EVEN FULLY COMPREHEND WHAT ALL SHE WAS FEELING. humiliated, horrified, heartbroken to name a few. if she could've willed julien out of the bathroom, she would've, but once the pair locked eyes it seemed to confirm julien would indeed be staying. she didn't want anyone to see her like this. she didn't want to see herself like this. pregnant and pathetically crying at her place of work wasn't really good for her image. to make matters worse, julien had to walk in and suddenly it was no longer as simple as a few little white lies to cover up the incident. through muffled sobs, ivy wiped around her mouth and uselessly tried to dry her still falling tears. everything was very rapidly becoming real and ivy wasn't sure how to handle that. she lived in a world where if she wished hard enough, she wouldn't have to come face to face with her irresponsibility, yet here she was, having to look it dead in the eyes. the vomiting sent ivy into an entirely panicked state and while she was better by the time julien found her, it was only slightly. the extent of her heaving and tears had only been seen by the likes of her older sister and that was over a year ago when emory caught her and the very boy who was now wrapping his arms around her. their nonsensical fight hardly mattered anymore. julien's arms around ivy were oddly medicinal and unashamed, she leaned into it. while it aided her pounding heart, there wasn't much she could do about the tears. still, in this frantic haze, ivy found it somewhere within herself to apologize for the arguing that had taken place less than twelve hours prior. "i'm. . . i'm sorry for like being mean in our texts. . ." she stammered only for a disgusting hiccup and sniffle combination to follow. ivy wasn't sure when the tears stopped, but they did. her head rested against julien's chest and she listened to his quick yet steady beating heart to soothe herself. the thumping coming from behind his rib cage combined with the distant music playing and the birds chirping was enough to placate ivy. she didn't dare move from her place in julien's arms as if she would get upset all over again if she so much as blinked it was all okay, julien had said so, right? "can i tell you something?" she asked in a near whimper. the words tumbled out of her mouth before she could think and once she got confirmation from julien ivy instantly word vomitted, "i'm pregnant."

JULIEN:  Julien and Ivy had arguably seen each other in their most desperate states. After everything went down with Emory, they were both distraught by the situation. Julien had never felt that low before and he knew that at the time, Ivy hadn’t either. But whatever was happening now felt…immeasurably worse. With his arms wrapped around her tightly, Julien wracked his brain trying to figure out what was making Ivy crumble like this. Was she hurt? Sick? Did someone do something to her? Had it been Leo? He’d kill him if so. But Julien had no idea. He tightened his hold on her, gently rubbing the side of her arm to try and calm her down. Slowly but surely, the heaving decreased and she was able to speak, albeit not super clearly. Her stammering and stuttering was hard to follow at first, but when he realized she was trying to apologize, he just shook his head. “Don’t be sorry, I was being a drunk jerk and stuff,” he assured her, resting the side of his face against the top of her head as he held her closely. Was she crying because of their stupid fight? No, there was no way. Even though Julien knew that logically, he instantly felt guilty for being so harsh with her the day before. “I’m sorry for being so aggressive yesterday,” he whispered, “I’m sorry.” As her tears started falling again, he tried to keep his movement minimal as he reached for more toilet paper and carefully started dabbing her cheeks before deciding it was useless. He dropped the crumpled up paper into the toilet and assumed his earlier position with both arms wrapped around her. “We’re okay,” he assured her as he crossed his legs at his feet so he was essentially cradling Ivy in his lap. Time always had a way of stopping when they were together. It was like whenever Julien was in Ivy’s presence, she was his focal point and he lost track of everything else. All this to say that he wasn’t sure how long they sat on the ground together for, but eventually the crying stopped, her body stopped shaking, and his own nerves calmed. Despite whatever shitty circumstance had led them to this point, there was a weird safety he felt with her in his arms like this. Whatever she was going through, he’d help her through it however he could. That was what friends were for, right? When she croaked out her question, Julien nodded and muttered a quiet, “yeah, of course.” He was already sitting pretty still, but when she revealed what had her so worked up, he felt the weirdest sense of relief. Julien didn’t know much about teen pregnancy. Sure, he’d had a scare or two in his life, but most of those were born out of paranoia more than actual cause for concern. He’d always been safe, just like his parents and siblings had taught him. But he’d also been taught that if something ever did happen, there were options. Lots of ‘em. “I thought you were hurt,” was all Julien could think to say at first, unable to hide the sympathetic and warm smile tugging at the corners of his lips, “but that’s okay, right? I mean, everything is going to be okay.” As the situation set in, he realized it was still a big deal. He was glad that it wasn’t something worse, but still, Ivy was only sixteen. “Look at me,” he finally said, keeping one arm around her and reaching the other one up to her cheeks to gently wipe away any remnants of tears with his thumb, “I’ve got your back, okay? If you wanna just like sit here and cry and stuff, we can do that. I’ve got you.” And then he wrapped his arms around her again, not wanting to push her too far in any particular direction. He didn’t know if he was saying the right things, but he felt that if he could just communicate to her that no matter what, she would have him? Maybe things would be okay…even if it was just for a moment.

IVY: NEXT TO ELI, JULIEN WAS PROBABLY THE ONLY OTHER PERSON WHO WAS A NATURAL COMFORT TO IVY. and that was simply no small feat. sure, she was bold and open, but she was also sensitive. even ivy st.james had her own secrets. if they were to see the light of day, they needed to be handled with care she needed to be handled with care.  usually it was eli who did, sometimes julien, and more recently leo from time to time. with his arms around her and his cheek atop her head, she felt the safest she had since taking a those tests. that safe feeling came easily, it was innate even, like the first breath of air upon emerging from water or falling asleep after a long day. if she hadn't been so gutted, she probably would've had it in her to laugh as julien uselessly attempted to blot away her tears. as he further apologized, ivy didn't speak. she just slumped into julien even more than she had previously. while his words were appreciated, she couldn't reach deep enough within herself to reciprocate. ivy resented rory, rory resented ivy, that's how it was, but up until last night julien had nothing to say about leo, so she would bite her tongue about julien's girlfriend. it was common courtesy right? even if the thought of rory and julien's relationship made ivy's stomach flip all over again. at his 'we're okay ivy weakly repeated the words and nodded as she nestled into julien. at her confession,  ivy was expecting anger, disappointment even. but in came julien with just the right things to say and a gentle touch that made her feel like the only reason she had to be upset was for not believing she could handle this. the more and more he elaborated, the better she felt, but still, she didnt want to move from her space where she was essentially being cradled. if ivy had this situation go her way, like most things did, she would choose to stay in julien's arms. but they would have to leave eventually, keep working, but right now all that mattered was that she was okay and julien had her back. ivy no longer felt like crying, but her body felt airy, like she was trying to float away from earth and julien's grasp was the only thing keeping her there. when had they formed a bond like that? since emory things had been weird, and apart from last night, that tension had been shed. she didn't reflect on the topic long before blurting what needed to be said. "you like can't tell leo." ivy murmured. though the crying had passed, her voice was tinged with that unmistakable raspiness of a heartbroken girl. "nobody knows." she whispered, remaining still. "just you." as she added those final words, she held up a pinky and looked to julien, eyes wide, brows furrowed, and lower lip trembling like she would crumble any minute. "promise?"

JULIEN:  The day had quickly taken an insurmountably unexpected turn—and all before 9 in the morning. Ivy was pregnant. The Ivy St. James, whether she liked that namesake or not. This was a big deal and the longer Julien sat on the cold tiles of the girl’s bathroom floor with Ivy balled up in his lap, the more he understood that. What did she need right now? Support, of course. Love. Understanding. No judgment. All things Julien was pretty good at giving, no questions asked, especially to her. So he leaned back comfortably against the wall of the stall and kept his arms around her firmly. He was prepared to stay there all day if needed. Was that logical given that pretty soon they’d actually have to go back to work? No, of course not, but still. Ivy was Ivy—strong, bold, full of fire. Seeing her this broken up was unnerving and Julien wanted more than anything to take away any bad feelings she was having. He hated seeing the people he cared about like this. Julien’s playlist eventually ended, so the music that had been playing softly in the background of their intimate moment ceased and was replaced with a comfortable silence. He lost track of how long they sat there for, him holding Ivy and her leaning into him weakly as her tears dried on her cheeks. He took the quiet as a good sign—at least there was no more sobbing. It meant that she was calming down and coming back down to Earth with him. A start. Julien knew there would be a lot more to say and a lot more to figure out, but none of that needed to be handled at this exact moment. All that Ivy needed right now was to know that she had someone who was in her corner, no questions asked. He was happy to be that. When he felt her shoulders tense up again, Julien pulled back slightly to look at her. “What?” he asked when he heard her speak, at first not sure if he’d heard her correctly. And then came the rest. Nobody knows. Just you. He felt a pang in his chest when she’d said it. It wasn’t that Julien felt pressure about being the only person who knew. He was fine with that. But something wasn’t sitting well with him about Ivy not being able to tell Leo. But he wasn’t about to pry…not when she was in this state. So they’d table that discussion for a later date. When she lifted her hand and looked at him with those big, blue eyes, he nodded. “I promise,” and without any hesitation, he linked his pinky with hers and gave it a squeeze.

END

[moonstonemeadow]

the girl

calum hood x reader

I cannot explain the love i have for this song (or for calum) ps. i miss blonde streaked cal

11:30 pm: are you still calling tonight?

12:23 pm: cal i’m sorry but i can’t stay up any longer :-(

12:45 am: i hope you had a good time performing and im sorry i couldn’t be there! be safe tonight i love you

Calum felt like proper shit. Not only because of the amount of alcohol he had consumed at the club last night (how many shots had he taken last night?), but also because he had broken his promise to you. He knew something was wrong from the second he woke up (and it wasn’t just because he was 30 minutes late to an important band meeting) and saw a few texts scattered over the course of last night on his phone. Sure, you didn’t sound upset in your texts, but Calum knew you. He knew you’d probably stayed awake for a little while longer, checking in with the boys to make sure he was okay, because that was the kind of person that you were. In a world of give and take, you had only ever wanted to give.

He had promised you days ago that he’d call after the concert last night, especially since it was your two-year anniversary, but the promise slipped his mind at the mention of free drinks and karaoke at a club nearby. Calum swears he didn’t mean to forget; he just got busy was all. And he was busy this morning too—which was why he still hadn’t responded to your messages. He was currently supposed to be helping the boys write some new songs, but how was he supposed to do that when he knew he totally fucked up? He knew that you were probably an anxious mess right now, thinking that you had done something to make him upset. So now his phone was burning a hole through his jeans pocket, and all he wanted to do was talk to you; tell you it was nothing you did, he just…well, he just was a piece of shit. His mind was a mess of what-ifs and scenarios of you leaving him (rightfully so, he was an absolute dick after all), and all he could think about was how he had passed up a night of talking to you for a damn club. He was hit with a sudden fog of missing you, and he excused himself to go to the “bathroom”, where really, he went to the quietest room he could find. Slipping his phone out of his pocket, he quickly dialed your number and put the phone up to his ear, his gaze falling to a chipped piece of tile on the floor. He toed it nervously, hoping your sweet voice would coo through the speaker. It rang once, twice, three times—then went to voicemail. God, he fucked up.

“Hi babe—I uh, I really need to talk to you. Call me when you get this? I love you.” Clicking the red end call button, Calum ran his hand through his hair, his body slumping against the wall. Guilt flooded his veins when he thought about you waiting for a call that never came. His fingers tugged at the ends of his dark hair, frustrated with himself. Maybe it didn’t sound like that big of a deal, but you deserved more than the world, and he couldn’t even give you half of that.

There was no way in hell that Calum was going to be able to concentrate on song-writing right now, so he slid down the wall into a more comfortable position. He tugged on a loose thread around the rip in the knee of his jeans and aimlessly scrolled through the various social media apps on his phone. His eyes were glazed over as he watched the thousands of pictures scroll past on his Instagram feed, not really paying attention to the actual pictures. He had just stopped scrolling, deciding to switch to another app, when the picture that he had stopped on caught his eye.

It was a picture of you and Duke together, the puppy curled up against your side. Calum stared at the picture, noticing it had been posted an hour ago. But the caption. The caption was what made him suck in a breath, his heart stuttering painfully in his chest.

Even my phone misses your call, by the way.

It hadn’t really been that long since he’d called you, right? He quickly pulled up his phone log, not really believing that it had been that long since the two of you actually spoke on the phone. His heart dropped when he looked at the date of the last phone call. It had been over three weeks ago—over a month since there had been any real communication between the two of you, minus a text here and there. Calum quickly dialed your number, praying that you would pick up. But again, one, two, three rings—and then your voicemail. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He really was the worst.

How had the time slipped that far past him? How could he have forgotten about you? When he left, he had promised you that he’d always come back to you no matter what. That he loved you, and he’d talk to you as much as he could. At first, there was a phone call every other day. And without realizing it, those every other day calls turned into once a week calls, and then tapered off into nothing. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d heard your giggle, or your adorable sleepy voice, and the way it would get soft and syrupy before you were about to fall asleep. A dark wave of loneliness suddenly crashed down on him, threatening to swallow him up whole.

You were his best friend, the person he could share anything with, and he loved you. Oh God, he loved you like a moth loves a flame. He could never tire of you, never be bored with who you were. A life without you would be like…Calum didn’t even want to think about that. With him being mildly famous, it was rare to find people who actually cared about him as a person, but you did. You never asked for expensive things, even though he had told you whatever you wanted was yours. At most, the only material thing you’ve asked for is postcards from his travels, and that was simply because you wanted to see the different places his dreams were taking him to.

Calum knew from the moment he met you that you were something special, and when you had stopped to tie your sparkly pink balloon from the fair around the little girl’s wrist (she had been traumatized after a goose came up and snatched her cotton candy out of her tiny fist), he swears that’s when he fell in love. You always took care of other people—strangers even, and it warmed his heart from the very beginning.

The ringing of his phone pulled him out of his reverie, and he sat up a little too quickly, banging the back of his head on the wall behind him. Calum’s hand came up to cover the tender spot, his fingers circling around the aching area, trying to soothe it, while his other hand cradled the phone to his ear. The rings on his fingers clicked against the back of his phone case, and if he was standing, he would have stood on trembling legs. His entire body was buzzing like a livewire with nerves (and excitement) at the prospect of hearing your voice, finally.

“Hello?” Calum was breathless, both anxiety and a craving for your voice gripping him like a vice.

“Hi.” You said softly, not a trace of the hardness he thought he deserved in your tone.

“I’m gonna start off by saying that I am so, so sorry. I didn’t even realize—”

Your sigh was sad and desperate. “That’s the problem.”

“What?”

“That’s the problem Calum! You didn’t realize, and—and I didn’t realize. Not until last night. We’re drifting apart.”

Calum stayed silent, a mix of something akin to fear and dread and hopelessness burned through every nerve ending in his body. You continued. “Cal, I love you okay? I really, truly do.”

“Why does it sound like there’s a ‘but’ coming?” Calum whispered, swallowing nervously.

“But this is getting to be too much,” you said, your voice cracking, “and it’s just—it’s not fair. I’ve been waiting my whole life for someone like you to show up and whisk me away into a life where I actually mattered, and half the time I don’t even get to see you. I’m so in love with you, and it…it hurts.”

“I’m so sorry. You have no idea how much I wish I could be there for you…with you.” Calum breathed, truly meaning everything that he was saying to you. A sudden sob on the other end of the line tugged at his heartstrings, causing him to hesitantly ask the question he had been dreading all day. “Are you going to leave?”

The line was quiet, and then a harsh sniff. “What?”

“Are you…all I want is for you to be happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted. And if this isn’t—if I’m not making you happy, then you can—”

“I’m not—fuck, I’m not leaving you Calum.”

It took a minute for Calum to answer. “Okay.”

“Baby, I swear I’m not leaving. I’m just a bit frustrated is all…I don’t—I wouldn’t leave you just because things got hard.”

“I think I would be totally lost without you.” He said quietly, letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“I know I would be lost without you.” You said back, just as quiet. “Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know. I’m home in,” he paused to check his calendar, “14 days. I think we should—”

“Please don’t say start over. I want what we have right now in this moment, but with more talking. You—you have no idea how much I missed your voice.”

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry that I was drifting.”

“Please don’t do that again, you scared me. I thought…I thought I was going to lose you.” Your voice wavered slightly, and Calum closed his eyes. He knew you were crying, and it hurt, it hurt to know that the cause of your tears was his doing.

“You’ll never lose me. I’m yours to keep, forever and always.”

“I love you Cal.”

“Marry me.” He blurted out suddenly.

“What did you just say?”

“I know you sacrifice so much for this relationship to work, and I’m so lucky that I found you. You have no idea how much I love you, and I—I want to spend the rest of my days loving you endlessly. Of course, I’ll get a ring and—"

“Yes.” You said quietly, so quiet, that he didn’t hear you at first.

“Propose to you the right way and—wait. You…yes?”

[comeondowntosouthparkrpg-blog]

Lola Thomas

Will she friend us on Facebook yet? Lola has been accepted! Send in your blog and faceclaim!

out of character info

Name/Alias: lexi (yeah im gonna try this again because looks like the negativity is GONE. BLESS.)

Pronouns: she/her

Age: 18

Join Our Discord: Yeaaaah

Timezone: central

Activity: 7 ( i do work so activity will prolly bump before 2pm and after 8pm lmao )

Triggers: nada

Password: jimmy can fast pass my ass ;))

Character that you’re applying for: Lola Thomas

Favourite ships for your character: going in this with a clean slate so try and give me a favorite ship? ’,:)

in character info

Full name: Lola Diane Thomas

Birthday: May 20th.

Sexuality, gender, pronouns: pansexual, female, she/her

Age and grade: 16 (almost 17) && senior.

Faceclaim: Taylor Hill

Appearance:

Head: Lola is what you call a tall glass of water. She’s refreshingly attractive. Her eyes are neither blue or green but a weird combination of the two colors, making them pop against her naturally darkened complexion. Her hair is soft and wavy and like to tangle near the ends by the time Lola is out of school and on the way to work. It’s color likes to change with the rare sunlight, meaning if she is outside in the sun all day every day natural highlights will appear in her honey chestnut tresses. Her nose is like a little button that deserves to be booped constantly. Her lips are full and plump- to that she owes genetics. Lola believes it is her only good trait.

Body: A natural looker. She stands at about 5'8, so be prepared if you’re tiny. She will tower you with her legs for DAYS.  She doesn’t have particularly large assets but they are there. And it’s a nice handful on either side of the equator. You just gotta look for them behind her non-stop barrage of sweaters. She likes to say she has a white girl booty- its cute && snooty. Her shoulders and cheeks are very, very, lightly dusted in freckles you can only see in the winter. Despiter her tall figure, Lola is NOT a bean pole, she’s slim thicccc weighing about 145 pounds and it’s not in her face.

Style: Lola dresses like she lives in Goodwill, trendy and thrifty. She would kill for knee socks and button up blouses. She aims to look like ‘The classic look of a teenager in the 90’s’. Her shoes will never don a heel for she believes she is 'too tall’ for them. She likes to keep a mellow color scheme for all her clothing items. Tan, green, white. Sometimes she looks like the first instagram post you see tagged * v i n t a g e. *

Personality: 

First off let’s get this straight, with Lola it’s not a personality but more of how she adopts a personality to fit each social clique she is suckered into that day. If you dig deeep deeeeeep down pass the meme references and pop culture shout outs- she’s awfully shy and hates making the first move in ANY kind of situation. She is sympathetic to most of the problems she hears- other than relationship ones. What’s a feeling for someone else other than your cat? She doesn’t get it. Skittish doesn’t even cover how much of a fraidy cat she is.. One little boo when she’s not expecting it is enough to get Lola to shriek and jump three feet into the air. She does have a nuturing instinct, finding it rather difficult to see anyone lonely or upset.

Once you get to know Lola, she is a sweetheart with a soul of gold. She would freeze in the frigid temperatures to keep her friend warm. She’s the girl who will sneak you into her house so you dont have to go home if you’re scared too or can’t. She is quite snarky however- as if a dam broke and every witty thought ever spun in her head rushes out. Once you get her talking about something she is personally interested in, good luck shutting her up. Lola is also a very superstitious person. Never one too step on a crack or split a pole. Her biggest quirk would have to be her need for reassurance that her jokes are funny. She thinks of herself as a comedian but is already sure everyone thinks she is trying too hard. She is a rather dull girl on the outside, moody and solemn. But if you can crack into her cold shell there’s an ooey gooey sweetness inside. Lola is often easily upset- movies to road kill make her tear up. Anytime she even gets mad the salry reminders if her lameness well up in her eyes. And that only pisses her off more.

Despite having a cool exterior she can and will snap- just push the right buttons. 

History:

Lola wouldnt deem herself an outcast yet she would always feel that way. Whether she was cheering with the girls or writing lists with Jenny, her feelings were uncontrollable. Her anxiety makes it impossible to determine if someone is being nice to her or if they have a plot to harm her. In middle school, Lola secretly dreamt of becoming a goth kid- going as far as painting her nails black for two years. But her fears never made her set out to do it. Plus everyone was a little then so isn’t that technically confirming? Her school work was the only thing Lola was ever certain in. Work was easy, you couldn’t fuck it up by being a complete oddball. It was practically memorization. After starting high school, Lola was practically a wallflower. Hell she was the wall and the flower all wrapped in one. She dropped every friendship and dedicated herself to her studies and her pets. After she got a job she was allowed to have them finally and her fur babies were the only things she cared about truly and deeply. For they could never hate their mother.

Things were always tough for Lola, socially or economically, but that didn’t mean her childhood sucked. It just meant instead of a Barbie dreamhouse for Christmas she got the summer edition Barbie. Not a house. Just the doll. Jealousy is an emotion often clouding her anxieties and judgement on people. It caused her to lose her best friend since.. Well, as long as she could remember. Lola grew jealous and almost possessive over Jenny. She probably didn’t mean too but when she saw Jenny getting along with people when she couldnt caused a burning rage to settle in her chest. It got so bad Lola didnt even speak to anyone for a week before blowing up and ruining her only real friendship.

Just because she looks innocent doesn’t mean the brunette is. There are probably a few flat tires and keyed cars residing in South Park that are Lola’s own doing. Not to mention she is a total bystander. You wanna skip school? Cool, yeah I’ll watch for a teacher. You wanna smoke pot in the bathroom? It’s all good as long as she gets a hit. These are all childish 'bad behaviors’ but as Lola sees it, there’s no point in trying that hard to be bad. After all the one time she tried it, the poor thing almost died from hypothermia after blindly listening to a slumber party dare.

You aren’t supposed to sneak out in slumber parties. Or streak in Wal-Mart. Or jump of a bridge into negative temp waters. But these are all things Lola did too prove she was cool. And it ended up with her grounded, being hospitalised for pneumonia, and gaining a large fear of heights. And a hatred for party games.

Sample paragraph:

Of course, it was another cold blustery day. Chestnut tresses fluttered in front of her sight along the whole way home, it didn’t matter how many times she forcefully blew the bangs out of her face- they always flopped back down. Numbing fingers clutched tighter to the soft cloth lining of her jacket pockets. The index fingers and thumbs of both hands pinching at the materiel. Gosh- why is it always freezing? Dull orbs flittered around the blank scenery of the all too familiar path from her house to the school. The only sounds Lola could hear were the crunching of her flats against the snow and the wind whipping furiously around her. Boring. It was all white and boring. Lola was tired of being bored. She imagined that would be the only feeling she could muster for the rest of her life and it made the corners of her glossed lips tug down.

She shook her head as if to clear the thoughts instantly, humming a tune to distract herself as she continued on her trek.

One step, two step, three step…

…Sixteenth step-

Lola really needed a friend. A small sigh lifted her chest and as it billowed past her mouth she noticed movement in her peripherals. Was she really looking down this whole time like an idiot? How embarrassing! She clenched her hands into fists, further rumpling the jacket from its own pockets. Avoiding any kind of eye contact she swayed over to the side near the street and hurried her steps along. Too fast to count now. She passed the figure and her hands slowly unfurled. The blood rushing to her digits made them quite warm and her face flushed as well. God she was awkard.

Just as she thought she was in the clear, Lola felt a tap on her shoulder and her heart stuttered in its cavity as she stumbled to a stop. Fuck.

Headcanons:

🌟 owns a bike but rarely rides it.

🌟 has one cat- a black kitten named sparrow.

🌟 also two rats- yin and yang which are little chocolate colored sisters.

🌟 3.8 GPA

🌟 wants to learn french

🌟 owns a polaroid camera kinda girl

🌟 gardens in her free time

Anything else:

Im really insecure so if it takes me time to reply its cuz im demeaning myself and my baby and my words. 

[eddiekaspbraklives-blog]

I never should have said anything. (1/?)

Summary: Bill has some unspoken feelings he’s not sure how to deal with; especially when those feelings are centered around his best friend.

Pairing: Stanley/Bill

Word Count: 2,115... I’m sorry

Warnings: A bit of swearing, angst(but it WILL turn happy !!)

A/N: Everyone is 16+ in this, so they’re in high school. Inspired/modeled after something that happened with my best friend at the time and me. Why not incorporate my life into stories, right ? This will have a few chapters, so stay tuned !!

-

Bill had been the first member of the losers club to get their drivers licenses. Richie had been next, then Mike, Beverly, Ben, Eddie, and last but not least Stanley. Because of this order, Bill had been the first to get a car. Richie had been slacking and wasn’t practicing his driving, so he only had his permit and couldn’t drive everyone around. The rest hadn’t gotten in enough hours to be eligible for the drivers test that would permit them their full license. Given the circumstances, Bill had pretty much become the bus driver to the losers club.

As usual, it was a Friday night and the 7 friends had decided to gather at someone’s house to hang out. Richie’s, to be exact. This was actually a rare occasion, but this evening his parents wouldn’t be home until late at night so they would have the house to themselves.

Unsurprisingly, it was Bill’s job to pick everyone up who didn’t have a ride and bring them to Richie’s. Which was... Well, everyone.

With the other 6 teenagers in his car, he made his way to Richie’s house across town. Mike was riding shotgun, playing some tasteful music on the aux cord while the other 4 were squeezed in the back. Ben, Bev, and Eddie were arguing over the best cake flavor, while Stan stayed quiet and glanced out the window. He felt weird not saying anything, but in his opinion cake was nothing to argue over, so he kept his eyes trained on the trees passing by until a voice pulled him back to reality.

“What do you think, Stan?” Beverly questioned.

He turned to look at her, confused from his lack of attention to the conversation.

“What do you think the best flavor is?”

He shrugged. “If I had to pick one, I guess red velvet is pretty good.”

The 3 beside him erupted into sporadic chatter, trying to talk over each other to discuss how good red velvet really was. Stan rolled his eyes, beginning to turn back to the window until Bill spoke up from the front seat.

“That’s m-m-my favorite too.” He said, smiling softly and looking at Stan through the rearview mirror.

Stan grinned back, glancing up at Bill and meeting his eyes. The two gazed at each other for a moment before Bill tore his eyes from the mirror and focused back on the road, pulling into Richie’s driveway.

“Alright everyb-body, out.” Bill announced softly, putting the car in park and twisting the keys to power it off. He watched everyone file out one by one, resting his hands on the wheel until Stan was the last one in the car.

“If Richie makes us play truth or dare again I’m going to kill him.” Stan mutters, looking at Bill before stepping out.

He laughed shortly and followed the other 5 to the front door, letting Ben knock and seeing Richie open the door to greet them.

“Sup fuckers!” He smiled widely, making way for everyone to come inside.

“Wow, real classy Richie.” Eddie teased.

“Fuck off.” Richie scoffed and rolled his eyes, pulling him inside.

Stan and Bill walked in next to each other behind the group, laughing at Eddie and Richie and giving one another a knowing look, heading into the kitchen for snacks.

Bill opened the pantry while Stan went for the fridge. They piled snack boxes and bags into their arms and headed back to the living room where their friends were. As the group saw them approaching, Mike greeted them.

“Thanks mom and dad.” He teased, as the two handed food out.

Stan felt his face flush. The nicknames technically grouped them together as a couple. Don’t think about it too much. He thought to himself.

The 7 found themselves getting situated on the seats available, squeezing themselves in wherever they could fit. On the loveseat were Ben, Mike, Beverly, Stan and Bill. Richie and Eddie were on the reclining chair with Eddie on top of the other boy.

“Well, this is a tight fit.” Ben noted, gesturing to the fact that the 5 of them were packed into the couch like crackers in a box.

“Would you rather sit on the floor?” Richie challenged playfully.

“Don’t be rude!” Eddie scream-whispered, smacking his hand lightly. Richie just tazed him in response.

“Not really, no.” Ben said, looking at the cold wood floor.

Richie rolled his eyes, picking up the remote and setting up a movie on the tv.

“What are we watching?” Beverly asked, looking to the tv.

“Insidious. Chapter 2!” Richie beamed, clearly excited.

A few in the group rolled their eyes, but Bill looked next to him to see Stan’s reaction. He knew he hated horror movies. Stan glanced back at him, giving him a look that could only mean oh shit. Bill leaned over to whisper in his ear.

“D-don’t worry. I’ll p-protect you.” He said with a sweet smile.

Stan felt his face heat up a little bit, smiling at Bill. “That’s appreciated.” He said simply. They both turned back to the television as they heard the previews start to play. Richie quickly skipped through them, and the movie began.

They all kept their eyes glued to the screen as the night went on and the movie progressed, subconsciously huddling together even more than they had been before. By the time 2/3 of the movie was finished, Stan found himself curled up to Bill with their hands intertwined, pressing into him any time he knew a jump-scare was coming.

He had definitely taken notice of the fact that his hand was in Bills. To be quite honest, he didn’t know if that was normal. The two were very touchy-feely and that was a common and comfortable thing for them, but they’d never done this before. He had seen Richie and Eddie hold hands often, but the whole group knew they liked each other. He tried not to pay too much mind to it and just watch the movie, but it seemed like an elephant in the room to Stan.

As the movie was coming to an end, both Bill and Stan had found themselves growing tired. Bill had wrapped an arm around Stan and was rubbing his back at this point, while Stan rested his head against Bills chest. Half asleep, Stan heard Richie yell something in one of his obnoxious voices and lifted his head, realizing where he was currently placed. He looked up to Bill who was also waking up a little and smiled down at him. Stan smiled back but sat up, checking his watch.

“It’s 9:50. My curfew is 10:30 and you have to take everyone else home first, should we get going?” Stan asked Bill, being honest but also making an excuse to get out of his current situation. Bill nodded in response and stood up after Stan pulled his hand apart from his friends.

“Okay, is everyone r-ready?” Bill asked the others, looking at their nodding heads and slipping on his shoes. The others said their goodbyes as Richie stood in the doorway, whispering something in Bills ear before he walked out. After Bill made his way outside, the others followed him like a group of baby ducks with their mother as everyone loaded into the car. This time around, Mike switched seats with Stan so he could ride shotgun.

Stan plugged his phone up to the aux, playing death cab for cutie for a relaxing ride home. Bill looked at the speaker and then back to Stan, grinning.

“You and your indie m-music.”

Stan briefly twisted the corner of his mouth up into a half smile and lay back in his seat.

The ride home was quiet. Bill dropped off Ben first, then Beverly and Mike. Stan’s house was the farthest away, so Bill was taking him home last.

As the slow music played through the car, Stan noticed a change in the environment once Mike got out of the vehicle and said goodnight to his friends. He turned to look at Bill and noticed the troubled expression on his face, his eyebrows scrunched up as if he was thinking too hard about something.

“Are you okay?” He asked quietly.

Bill almost did a double take, obviously being pulled out of thought. He glanced at Stan for a few seconds before speaking.

“W-was I coming onto you?”

Stan’s eyes widened slightly. “No.” He said simply, feeling uncomfortable at the question.

“Yes I w-w-was.” He mumbled, looking to the road and avoiding eye contact.

“I didn’t-“ He stopped himself and paused. “I mean, I didn’t think so.”

“I’m sorry.” Bill said flatly. “Richie s-said something to me b-before we left. He said it l-looked like I was coming onto you. He-he started asking m-me if I l-l-liked you.” He struggled to get out.

Stan felt his stomach sink a little at the last comment. He noticed how Bills stutter was much worse than usual. That usually only happened when he got really anxious. He cringed as he realized he had pretty much ‘set the mood’ with his choice of music, hearing Hold No Guns begin to play.

“I mean... Do you?” He asked quietly, looking down at his hands. He didn’t like this. He didn’t want to be having this conversation.

Bill didn’t say anything.

“Bill?”

“Y-yeah.” He paused for what seemed like an eternity. Stan was unclear if he meant that as in he liked him, or if he was just responding to his name being called until Bill spoke again.

“I do.”

Stan’s heart sped up.

“F-fuck. That’s p-probably s-so weird to you, isn’t it?” He said in an almost frustrated tone.

“It’s okay.” Stan answered, not sure what to say back.

“I didn’t m-mean to come onto you. I know I c-c-crossed a line.” He informed Stanley, picking up speed in the car.

“Slow down, Bill.” Stan said calmly.

“Why w-won’t you say anything? Anything im-important?” He asked, growing more and more upset.

“You’re going too fast.”

Bill didn’t lose any speed. “I don’t even know w-why I m-mentioned this. I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s okay, Bill.” Stan repeated flatly as they pulled up at the top of his street.

“I know t-this isn’t your street.” Bill told him, parking the car and gripping the wheel tightly.

Stan didn’t answer.

“I know you don’t l-like me.” Bill threw out. Stan felt his heart lurch. “I j-just need you to know, I guess?” He said, stress and self doubt evident in his voice. “I know you’ve heard R-richie and them joking about-about us dating. They’re jokes, I k-know that. But at the same time, they’re... They’re not.” He confessed. “I don’t know when it h-happened, it just did. You’re just so cute and-and you always make me laugh and I t-think it’s adorable how you bird watch and all these o-other.. Other things. There’s a l-lot to love about you.” He cut himself off as he realized he basically confessed that he was in love. Bill froze, as did Stan.

Stan felt like he was going to throw up. He looked to the screen in Bill’s car that read the title of the song playing, and cursed death cab for cutie in that moment. This was like a movie scene; he didn’t like it. Swallowing his pride, he looked at Bill only to see he was already looking back.

There was something in his eyes. Stan knew that look. He knew that if he didn’t make as much distance between them as possible, the distance would soon be closed.

“I r-really want to kiss you.” Bill said, throwing his pride out the window.

An uncomfortable silence fell over them. Stan looked at the clock in Bills car desperately, reading the time. “It’s 10:28. I need to get inside.” He said flatly, reaching for the door handle.

“I’m s-sorry Stan. I shouldn’t have brought it up.” He began to panic. “I don’t want to l-lose you, you’re my b-best friend.” He whined.

“You won’t.” Stan said, but he knew he couldn’t guarantee anything.

“I’m s-so fucking sorry. I n-never should have said anything.” He apologized again, realizing what he had just done.

Stan opened the door and stepped out, closing it as Bill rolled down the window.

“S-stan!” He called out, watching him make his way down the street and towards the house.

Stan looked back as he stopped in front of his doorway and saw Bill resting his face on his steering wheel. He looked away and sighed, entering his house. He felt like the whole weight of the world was resting on his shoulders. This was bad.

What had just happened?