#also about the council of stars thing

[psychomusic]

oc time again! + her town & culture (heavily inspired by pre-roman italic populations)

she is suri sauthon. her story is linked to my swtor imperial agent, tar'x, but most of her life except for the one year away where she meets him, is spent in a town in the mountains of mirial.

despite mirial being cold and desert, and many cities developing underground, her town flourishes thanks to a force nexus, venerated in the form of an ancient, sacred, alive crystal. the ecosystem of that mountain depended on what "the horned crystal" was capable of giving them, but mirialans couldn't live off of that alone, so they developed trade and some rudimental technology, even if oftentimes it was bought thanks to the highly profitable trade of a plant used to make medicines that slowed down aging and had overall healing properties.

note: everything that's generated by this nexus has these healing properties BUT they have to be processed, except for those who bathed in the waters of the cavity under the crystal - the "real" nexus, but not the worshipped one. the waters were sacred but they were not thought to be miraculous, unlike the crystal, who instead was thought of as the keystone of the ecosystem: without it, everything would fall apart (and that is partially true: the cavity was the "real" nexus but thanks to the crystal, also strong in the force, the properties were spread all over the mountains). those who bathed in the cavity's waters - so, all of the town, who had a sort of baptism there - could eat the plant, make whatever food with it, and not only that plant, but everything generated by the nexus, that, again, had similar properties. this allowed people to live up to normal life-spans without advanced medicines or, much, really. to those who didn't live there, though, after the processing, had incredible effects, slowing down aging - for those who took it regularly - and making people able to live up to half a century more than the average]

originally, there were four tribes of nomads that lived thanks to horned farm animals that decided to settle down into one bigger town and other smaller settlements, to live off of transhumance. this division of the tribes stayed into the political and social organization: every person belonged to one tribe specifically, and had slightly different rituals and culture. for examples, each tribe had their own priests and healers, with different techniques and traditions. the town, tho, was guided by a group of people in the high priesthood, a position you could reach only by having earned the trust of all tribes. those high priests had many roles: they guided the people into sacred processions common to all the tribes, they managed the trading with outsiders, they did the maintenance of the temple of the summit (the one that functioned as casket to the crystal) and created a special liquid to offer the crystal that helps it grow.

this particular temple was important because 1. it was very visible, from every angle of the town, and it became an important identity symbol; 2. it stored the venerated horned crystal; 3. it had the altar where sacrifices were made for the crystals. that altar had a hole connected to the cavity, that allowed the liquids to reach the underground; 4. it had various symbols: statues representing each tribe + the high priesthood, and typical mirialan tattoos carved into the wood of the trees that served as columns for the temple, symbolizing 8 values that who dared to enter HAD to have; 5. it was on the way to an important lake (called "mother lake" because the lake the town was built around to depended on the waters of that other lake) where they traveled to in important processions; 6. it was said that a the wizard who unified the tribes made it with its magic, making the plant grow to hold the temple's roof. this wizard was, actually, a force user, obv.

BACK TO HER THOUGH: she's daughter of one of the high priests, who was in charge of managing the trades with outsiders, and lives in a house on the mountains with her mother and him. her parents are from different tribes (that's one of the things that earned him trust from the 4 tribes): when a child is born from two different tribes, they don't pick one to allign to, but they're usually linked automatically to the one with more relatives in it (in her case, the father's tribe: she had many uncles and aunts on his side while her mom only had one sister).

later, though, she got quite tied to her mother's tribe due to a mysterious illness that only her mother's tribe healer was able to cure. she spent 4 years (from 10 to 14 years old) living with the healer and learned her secrets. to better study, she wrote them down. when she returned home, she studied to become a priestess with her father. at 22 (the average age: you can't become priest before your 20s), she was supposed to take a test and become a priestess, but the healer of her mother's tribe died and the tribe asked her to take her place. she couldn't technically do that, but both tribes estimated both her and her parents and she was allowed to become both. she then decided to try to become a high priestess, and became one at 25 (a quite young age). being part of the council, she tried to convince the various tribe healers to unite their knowledges and write them down, and eventually made it. healers still remained tribe based but they now had an "upper, inter-tribe level" similar to high priesthood.

years later, the sacred horned crystal is stolen from the temple by some Hutt mercenaries looking for a profit. given the trust she has earned from all the tribes and the fact that her father is the high priest that deals with outsiders (and she's been hearing stories and advice about it since she was little), she is the one tasked with getting it back. without the growing crystal, the keystone to their ecosystem, the village would have lasted only a few years. in hrr quest, she meets imperial intelligence agent tar'x laran and, as they "solve the mystery" and fight to have it back, they get closer. they'll get married and have a daughter, Vegoia (who's the only one who actually will get to the plot of my story. this was all background)

[mando-din-lorian]

I love me Star Wars time travel shenangians and I am absolutely giggling at the idea of Din going back in time and being, like, an expert in Yoda behavior and antics.

He’s spent so much time with Grogu, he picked up on things that seem to be natural for the species that perfectly align with Yoda.

He knows that they’re a carnivorous, and while they have sharp teeth to cut into meat, they typically swallow their food whole. He knows they like small prey, something usually slimy as it’s easier to swallow, and that food is important to them (as their species burn a lot of energy despite being small - my personal headcanon is that it’s because they’re so naturally in-tune with the force and use it more to often for basic living, thus it takes a lot to replenish that energy); offering food is like showing them off that they’ll be safe and well-fed with you, so when Din offers Yoda a raw, slimy eel as an offering of good-intent, everyone is absolutely baffled, disgusted, and enthralled when Yoda just swallows that mucus-covered atrocity whole and pats his legs, and they’re basically besties now

Din knows that they’re incredibly perceptive to sound due to their large ears, and thus speaks soft and quiet (or, you know, his natural way of speaking 😂) when talking with Yoda. He also knows that it’s easy for them to get ear infections, especially if they get a lot of water or wax-build-up in their ears, so any time after a mission in the rain, or in water, Din offers Yoda space-ear-wax cleaner and Yoda is like knows how to treat a person, this bitch does

And he just ends up getting along so well with Yoda and does things no one even considered to be Yoda thing (because Yoda is a maniac and likes to watch people bask in the confusion of his antics) that it’s just baffling. They don’t know what to do. How the fuck. What the fuck. They’re absolutely baffled, bamboozled, and bewilderment

To summarize, Din is Yoda’s homie and they have brunch every Friday and Din is more than comfortable with Yoda perching on his shoulder because their species likes having the higher ground

[engagemythrusters]

my General Akiyi Tonn and Commander Hilt, heads of the 116th Battalion. She is prim and poised and all things proper, and he is stoic and silent and would rather take on twelve B1s weaponless than talk to anyone. And they are fucking and don't even bother trying to hide it. At least they command well together...

[kenobky]

i read a bit from master and apprentice some time ago and i don't get how the author and apparently many others from what I've seen around here went from the seemingly easy comradery between qui-gon and obi-wan in the phantom menace to qui-gon having to consciously make an effort to not judge and criticize obi-wan unfairly

[princesssarcastia]

bold of you to say "draft dodger" like it's something derogatory?

Satine Kryze should not be a sympathetic character.

A complex and tragic one? Sure. Every day of the week.

But she did not 'have a point', neither in-universe, not outside of the sw framework. She isn't a hero, neither of her own story, nor of someone else's. There is no way she wasn't a tool. You should not look at her and think 'this woman has done nothing wrong and what ultimately happened to Mandalore was to no part her fault'.

Because guys. Friends. Strangers on the interwebs.

Pacifism doesn't work.

And it certainly wouldn't have worked in motherfucking Star Wars – the 'wars' is literally in the title – for a system or series of systems who wanted to stay neutral.

YOU DON'T STAY NEUTRAL FOR LONG BY JUST SAYING 'YEAH, NO THANKS <3' TO A LARGE-SCALE CONFLICT.

source: I am Swiss, we've looked at this in history class. Extensively.

Satine was a dreamer (thanks Obi-Wan) who was allowed to keep her delusions because they actively benefitted Palpatine's plans. And that's something you can quote me on. There is literally no other reason (apart from supremely bad writing but we'll leave that aside here) for her and her little friends' 'Alliance of Neutral Systems' or whatever to be allowed to exist.

Not that they were neutral in any way, shape or form, by the way.

So yeah sorry to the Satine stans, but you're idolizing a character that was written exclusively and specifically for Obi-Wan's manpain and who, in-universe, was a supremely bad politician. Because the level of mental dissonace needed to factually be a Republic System, have a seat in the fucking Republic Senate, rely upon their military for aid while actively proclaiming that All Violence Is Bad And Barbaric one sentence later AND THEN CLAIM TO BE NEUTRAL IN THE WHOLE CONFLICT – it's just mind-blowing. Even moreso that people actually look at this character and see something aspirational in her.

Again, I'll gladly dissect her character any day of the week. She is fascinating because of all the implications her existence as a head of state carries with it, as well as her deeply complicated family history and her relation to mandalorian culture.

But it just grates on me personally that that all gets ignored in favor of her being some sort of icon of white american saviorism (bc that's literally what she is) and her objectively bad political takes being treated like they are the only correct stance to be taken during the Clone Wars/Mandalorian Civil Wars.

If you think pacifism works and actually lets you stay neutral, I desperately urge you to open a history book. Because those two are mutually exclusive. Especially in the scenario that Star Wars paints.

[gaypirate420]

Kaleidoscope // Viktor

S2!Viktor x gender neutral!reader.

Summary: You're staring at his eyes.

Fluff. Spoilers!!!!

Viktor stares at his hand, that purple flowing and metallic skin. He just healed? Cured? an addict from the undercity, his mismatched pupils look up.

At you.

You followed behind when he left Jayce's lab, you were too determined and he didn't fight as hard as he wanted, in other times he would tell you to stay with Jayce, stay safe. He didn't keep you away from the Hexcore without reason, but he couldn't fight, as much as his mind was screaming at him, he just nodded monotonously after a couple of pleas.

Your eyes meet his, you sit down in front of him, whimpering slightly, after the explosion of the Council left you with an injured leg.

His eyes dart back down, he could just reach out and you wouldn't be in pain anymore but he closes his fingers and lowers his hand to his lap. He needs to understand a little more about this new... identity of his before he even attempts to touch you in any sort of way, he doesn't want to risk it. Sky disappeared in front of him like dust in the wind, he can't do that to you.

You smiled softly. His furrowed eyebrows soften.

"How are you feeling?" You asked with a soft whisper. He sighs, his eyes don't leave yours, in one hand he isn't feeling pain, that ache, that little needle-like sensation that infested his leg and back since he had memory. But on the other hand, he doesn't feel much, he isn't scared but also not happy, he isn't completely aware of what is happening but he is not mindless.

You keep looking at him, that smile doesn't falter and that is comforting. You're not scared of him not even after what you just saw.

"I don't know." He answers, there's a small shiver down your back, his speech pattern has changed, it's slow and monotone but there's some sparkles of emotions in it, it's not like he has talked much for you to completely understand yet.

You nod at his words, God you were so patient with him, always have been.

Your eyes don't leave his, the amber eyes he held are nowhere to be found, now a duller color replaces them but there's this drop of cyan, maybe crimson at times that moves around the two irises.

"Is there something wrong?" He asks, you shake your head.

"Nothing wrong, Vitya. I'm just looking at your eyes." You speak softly, scooting a little closer towards him.

Vitya.

His lips twitch ever so slightly, yes he is your Vitya, at least he thinks he is and you don't seem to look at him any differently, there's still that deep affection in your eyes, of course there is worry in your gaze, but the devoted love remains.

"What's with them?" He speaks again.

"They're different..." You whispered as you leaned your face closer. He doesn't move, he remembers the feeling, after years of being with you his heart still went wild when you approached, but now it's dull, but it's there. He knows it is, it's just a little distant, just in the tip of his fingers.

"Like- copper...but...there's this- bleeding of color.." You whispered as your eyes fixated on his, you were so close. Your breath against his face, lips near that beauty mark you loved to kiss.

"Like a kaleidoscope." You whispered, you didn't pull away, you missed having him so close. Viktor nods at your words, he hasn't seen himself fully yet.

You two stare at each other for a couple of seconds. Your hand hesitantly reaches up and cups his face, muscle memory is a hell of a thing, he immediately nuzzles his face against your hand. It's familiar yet he feels like this is the first time touching you.

He feels you. Not just your gentle hand or soft skin, you. It's a different kind of touch, like he's touching your soul, your very being.

You contain your excitement. He is still there. You smiled softly. His eyes flutter as he feels a faint sensation of your lips against his beauty mark.

He stays silent. It was dull, like a ghost touched him yet like every star in the sky placed a kiss upon his face.

"Will you do that again, please?" He whispers, meeting your eyes once more.

A/N: (Divider) Hiiii, hope you like this, I wasn't sure about writing something so fast, but I needed to get rid of the feeling. I loved Act 1, it was worth staying up til 5 am, Viktor has bewitched my soul completely, I don't have a lot of opinions, just questions, I'm going to wait until the whole season is over to talk about it and the characters. Enjoy the fic! Send requests please.

[gffa]

Okay, so. The senator's speech. Here's why I'm okay with it: It fundamentally misunderstands the worldbuilding of Star Wars and the Force, in a way that's reasonable for a senator to misunderstand. To say the senator is right, you would have to say that the entire foundations of the Force are wrong, as well as it's pretty laughable to say that you shouldn't control your emotions. "Check yourself before you wreck yourself." is pretty good advice and that's literally just "control your emotions, before they control you". Because that's how the Force works, it's based on the emotions you pour into it--if you don't control your emotions, then you will run wild and out of control. To say that the Jedi seek to control their emotions, which is an impossible thing to do, fundamentally misunderstands that it's entirely possible. This is a speech coming from a member of the Senate, which has historically not always had the purest motivations, that Padme and Bail and Mon are written specifically as a contrast to the vast majority of senators who don't actually care beyond their own desires. We don't know anything about this senator specifically, but that's the weight that comes with having a character like this introduced--especially one who is trying to drag the Jedi into being more politically bogged down. Because that's the solution he's suggesting here, to weigh the Jedi down with outside oversight that doesn't actually understand who they are or what they do, who fundamentally misunderstand who they are (they're not a religion? come on, my guy, they are very clearly a religion, they have specific beliefs, practices, rites, and attitudes, to say they're not a religion is either dumb as shit or malicious bad faith lmao) and is very clearly not interested in the Jedi beyond them being a political enemy of his. He says, "But it's only a matter of time before one of you snaps." as if the Jedi haven't existed for literally 20,000 years at this point in galactic history and been aligned with the Republic since it's inception, something like 900 years ago at this point. His speech acts like a Jedi has never gone bad before or that the Jedi pretend they're above it--they very much don't. The Jedi are constantly making a point about how no one is above the dark side within them (TCW has a whole scene where the High Council say not even Yoda is beyond the dark side, and Yoda straight up agrees immediately), to say that one of them will snap and "who will be powerful enough to stop them?" is deliberately ignoring the worldbuilding. It ignores what the Jedi actually practice (it's a lifelong challenge not to give in to anger, so they're constantly on the path to turn away from it), it ignores that emotions very much are controllable, it ignores that the Jedi Order has been keeping a handle on their shit for thousands of years at this point, and it ignores that there's dark siders out there that were never trained by the Jedi, so if the Jedi aren't around to stop them, the Sith would have been wrecking the Republic's shit for the last 500 years. To be fair, they don't know that (but we the audience do, so we should know a bullshit argument when we hear one), but "who will be strong enough to stop him"? Idk, maybe the rest of the level 100 psychic space wizard monks? Pretty sure there's enough of them to stop someone who "snaps", if that happens. The senator's speech just flat out doesn't work with the established worldbuilding, in a way that really works for me, because that's kind of a huge established point throughout just about every piece of canon with the Jedi in it--people just do not understand them and hate the idea that anyone might actually be truly good because they can't imagine it for themselves. Because, as is a theme in Star Wars: "As much as people loved the Jedi, they also hated them, on some level. It is hard to look at people who have become their best selves. It reminds you that you have not."

The senator cannot fathom the idea that a group of people could become their best selves, he doesn't believe that it's possible, because he has not achieved it, and so seeing it in others unsettles him. And, yeah, that's a whole thing that happens with the Jedi in Star Wars, so this speech made a whole lot of sense to me, especially combined with, "So the answer is more bogging them down in political oversight that does not bother to or even want to understand them?" Like, yeah, I see where you're coming from, sir. And that's not even touching the idea of calling the Buddhist-inspired religion (which the Jedi explicitly are) a "cult", because anyone who unironically says that should not be trusted.

[eddiesxangel]

The Kissing Booth | E.M x G!N!Reader

Cw: flufffffff, mild angst on Eddie’s part. Smooching. Reader wears lipgloss. No use of pronouns.

Wc 1.4K

Eddie could not believe this was happening to him.

“Nope, nope, no way, man. Over my dead body-“

“What my boy means is he is grateful he is not being suspended and will graciously accept his punishment of volunteering at the school fair.” Wayne looks at his nephew with a glare in his eyes that Eddie hasn’t seen in a very long time.

“Great, then it’s settled,” Ms. Laughlin, the guidance councillor, smiles.

It was happening. Eddie was being served the most gruesome punishment, and all because he skipped P.E. of all classes.

Eddie Munson was being forced not only to participate in the school fair but to work the kissing booth, of all things.

How on earth would he survive this? Not only would he be the laughingstock of the school, but he would also have to endure the absolute embarrassment of having no one come up to his booth, and he would also have to be forced to participate in extracurricular activities.

“Just wait until Hellfire hears about this boy,” Wayne laughs as he drives him and Eddie back to the trailer.

All Eddie could do was roll his eyes; he could never show his face again.

“You’re not going to believe the rumour I heard today.” Nancy looks at you from over her shoulder. She is sat at your vanity.

“What?” You asked, intrigued, as you got dressed and got ready for tonight’s festivities.

“A little birdy told me that a certain someone is working the kissing booth tonight.” She smirks.

“Who?” You challenge her back.

“Who, what?” Robin walks into the bedroom from the bathroom.

“Nancy knows who is working one of the kissing booths tonight, but who’s telling me” you pout.

“Ohhhhhhhh,” Robin smirks knowingly.

“Oh, not you, too! Come on, who is it!”

Robin and Nancy give one another a nod of the head before Nancy speaks.

“Eddie Munson.”

“Ha ha, very funny; you think I’m going to believe that? How gullible do you think I am?” You snort.

“No, it’s true! Shelly from the student council told me when we were working on the student paper! Instead of detention, this is his punishment, to help out at the fair tonight.” She wiggled her brows at you suggestively.

“Who else’s working it?” You try and ask casually.

Your friends knew about your crush on Eddie. It had been about a month since you confessed to one of your late-night sleepovers.

“Um, I’m not too sure what other guy, but I think Chrissy is working the girl's booth. Nancy shrugged.

“Cool…cool…” you turned to the closet, now faced with a sense of anxiety to find the perfect top.

Eddie was actually dying on the inside. Ten minutes until his “shift” at the booth, and he wanted to book it.

Running away would solve his problems, right? He would much rather be suspended than have to endure this humiliation. This was a cruel and unusual punishment.

He watched from the sidelines as Josh was at the booth currently. He was the senior star quarterback on the football team. Everyone wanted him. He could just see now the long line disbursing once he stood there.

"Hey man, you're up next in 5." Eddie was snapped out of his internal monologue when he felt a hand resting on his shoulder. He wasn't sure how long he had been there stewing with his own thoughts. "Don't worry, it's not all bad. Some customers are cute," Josh smirks.

Oh god. What if he actually had to kiss someone tonight? He hadn’t thought of that option. Like, what if some actually came up? What would he do? Are they expecting tongue?

“You have some gum or something?” He asked quickly before Josh left.

He smirked and tossed him a pack of icy mint.

“Thanks.”

Eddie peaked around the corner to where the booth was set up. The fair was set up on the school football field. There was a small sign that said be back in 5 and no lineup to be seen.

That made Eddie feel a bit better; no one was there. That took some humility out of it.

Before Eddie could back out and run, he felt another hard hand on his shoulder.

“Come on, Munson, your time to shine.” Jeff and Gareth practically dragged Eddie to the booth, kicking and screaming.

“You’re the worst friends ever,” Eddie huffed as they backed away from the booth. Watching him so he won’t run away.

“You can't serve the time and shouldn’t do the crime.” Jeff laughed.

“That’s not-“ Eddie was cut off mid-sentence as he saw Robin and Nancy pushing you towards the booth just like he had been moments ago.

“Don’t make me do this,” you plead with your best friends.

“You have to do it,” “It’s now or never,” “He’s right there. Just have him your ticket and pucker your lisp. It’s not that hard,” Robin and Nancy whispered in your ear as they dragged you towards Eddie.

“You guys, please, I can’t!” You say a bit too loudly as you fight back your friends from pushing you up to the booth.

You can see the look on Eddie’s face as you are pushed up the step of the booth. He looks disappointed? Disgusted? You’re not too sure.

You let out an embarrassing squeal as you stumbled in front of Eddie. “Um hi”

Despite not being well-acquainted with Eddie, you couldn't help but notice him whenever he walked by. You only exchanged a few words in passing and learned about him through your friends. Although you never had the opportunity to spend time together, you found him to be irresistibly charming and incredibly good-looking. Whenever you caught a glimpse of him in the cafeteria, he never failed to bring a smile to your face with his silly antics and infectious laughter.

“Uh hey,” he spoke back, clearly uncomfortable.

“Busy night for you?” You ask, trying to delay the inevitable.

“Uh nope.”

“Good,” you smile; the thought of Eddie kissing anyone else made you want to vomit.

“Good?” He cocks a brow at you. “The thought of nobody wanting to come up to the freak of Hawkins High is good to you?”

“Oh I didn’t mean it like-“

“Why are you even here?”

“Oh- well- I um-"

“No, I get it. You’re just here on a dare, or you lost the bet, right? I really thought better of Nancy and Robin; I thought they were my friends… You know I heard you say you can’t do this. I understand the thought of kissing me is so terrible that-“

You couldn't help but cut off Eddei from his intrusive thoughts. You held his face with both hands and smushed your lips together. The thought of Eddie thinking that about you was far worse than the fear of kissing him.

It wasn't everything you had dreamed of. However, the kiss was still nice. You felt the eruption of butterflies fill your stomach as Eddie deepened this kiss himself. You kissed him until you could no longer breathe. Only then is when you pull away.

“Woah”

“I hope that was okay.” You shy away.

“Yeah.” Eddie sighed as he took you in.

As he gazed upon you, he was struck by how pretty you were, which he had overlooked until now. The sweet aroma of strawberries wafted from you as the strawberry lipgloss lingered on his lips, just below his nose.

“Um, here,” you jut out your hand with the crinkled ticket you hadn't yet paid with.

“Oh no, no, the house,” Eddie said without thinking and that made you giggle.

“Well, I really only bought a ticket for this, so I might as well cash it in.” you flirt.

“Ok, yeah, sure. Two for one.” Eddie took the ticket from your hand and brought it back to cup your cheek before kissing you again.

You could hear the giggles and cheers of your friends from behind you in the distance, but your main focus was on Eddie. His soft, plush lips. His minty taste, the way his soft hair tickled your cheeks.

“Ok, lovebirds, that’s enough.” the supervising teacher returned with an unimpressed huff.

You begrudgingly pulled away, but with a smile nonetheless.

“Can I get your number?” Eddie’s mouth was moving before his brain could catch up.

“Come find us later, lover boy.” Robin giggled while snatching your arm and pulled you away before you could answer.

“Dude!” Gareth clapped his hands, having witnessed the whole thing.

“Maybe we should sign up for this,” Jeff laughed. A little jealous of what he just witnessed.

After you, Eddie didn’t care if he got another customer for the rest of the night. Maybe this whole kissing booth thing wasn’t too bad after all.

[tossawary]

Thinking about missed opportunities in the "Star Wars" prequel trilogy again: it's weird with hindsight that Count Dooku doesn't appear in "The Phantom Menace".

Dooku was a Jedi, so it's perfectly reasonable for him to be at either the Jedi Temple or the Republic Senate when we visit Coruscant in TPM. It would have been easy to move a few things around and include him even as a member of the Jedi Council when initially constructing the films, if you were planning ahead when writing.

As Qui-Gon's former master, Dooku is in the perfect position to ask questions onscreen about Qui-Gon's conviction that he's found the Chosen One and Qui-Gon's decision to put Obi-Wan up for knighthood, both publicly with the Council and privately from a more personal standpoint. Dooku could be used as a tool of interrogation to better lay clear for the audience some of Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and Anakin's characters, their motivations and fears and their potential flaws. An intimate conversation with his master's master could definitely be used to give Obi-Wan some much-needed character focus and inferiority before his climatic fight with Darth Maul.

As the future leader of the Separatists, this is also the ideal point in time to have Dooku act as a voice of criticism, someone who laments both the greed of the Trade Federation and the inaction of the Republic. Dooku could have easily been the representative of the Jedi in the Senate, watching everything, offering grandfatherly sympathy to Padmé Amidala, remarking on the effectiveness of unrestrained power, perhaps even making a warning observation of the dangers of that as Palpatine becomes the new Chancellor. We don't have to see Palpatine and Dooku interact directly, the film could even suggest that Dooku finds this ambitious politician slightly distasteful, but it sets up an explanation for how these two might know each other.

And if we have reason to know and like Master Dooku, then it would actually hurt more when he becomes Count Dooku and betrays both the Jedi Order and the Republic. Even briefly, we could have seen him show frustrated affection and concern for Qui-Gon, give warm advice and praise to Obi-Wan, stand up firmly against the unfairness of the Jedi Council saying Anakin is too old at nine years old. We could have seen Dooku support Padmé in her struggles to make the corrupt Republic take action. We could have seen him as dignified and wise, perhaps one of the only members of the Jedi Council to immediately take the return of the Sith 100% seriously after Maul appears on Tatooine. We could have been made to feel like this experienced, slightly embittered, but righteous older man was the only one "speaking the truth" here.

It really wouldn't have taken all that much shuffling and reassignment plotwise to add him in as a supporting character.

We would feel intrigued at the beginning of "Attack of Clones" when we learn that Count Dooku has left the Jedi Order after Qui-Gon's death. We could see Anakin and Obi-Wan briefly exchange lines about how they miss Master Dooku as well as Qui-Gon (there is already an exchange in the films where they state they miss Qui-Gon), and how they haven't seen or heard from him in some time now. Anakin could suggest that Dooku is hunting down the Sith Master; Obi-Wan could counter with how Master Dooku has simply returned to his life on Serenno, which he couldn't have as a Jedi Master, which Anakin casually calls unfair and he suggests that Dooku can do far greater good as a powerful count (a parallel to Anakin's marriage to Padmé and own Fall). Dooku being established earlier in the trilogy would better highlight how he and Obi-Wan went completely separate directions after Qui-Gon's death.

And again, the reveal that Dooku has Fallen would hurt so much more, if we had actually seen him be affectionate and righteous and wise. If we had any point of comparison for how Dooku's embittered desire for peace and justice has been warped into the pursuit of control and tyranny. It would hurt to see that formerly good man sentence Padmé to death as "just politics, my dear".

"This will start a war!" Padmé tells the man who helped her help her people once.

"I know," Dooku replies, with ominous satisfaction.

It would hurt to see Obi-Wan beg Dooku to stop this (a prelude to him begging Anakin in the next movie: "Anakin, please, I cannot lose you too!"), only for Dooku to attack and nearly kill him when Obi-Wan refuses to join him. It would hurt to see this grandfatherly figure cut off Anakin's hand, someone he knew and was kind to as a child. Seeing where Dooku fell from would also make everything about his fight with Yoda hurt more as well. We wouldn't have seen Dooku's struggles directly, offscreen in the time skip between TPM and AOTC, but this Fall would help prepare us for witnessing Anakin's Fall onscreen in "Revenge of the Sith", illustrate for us how power and grief corrupts, how the desire to take complete control and "start over" corrupts.

And all of this would also make Dooku's death in ROTS hurt more: to see Anakin execute an unarmed, injured man who had once been kind to him, who had once had good intentions a long, long time ago. We could have even had Dooku perhaps try to warn Anakin about Sidious, as the fear cuts through him as he realizes Sidious has betrayed him, only for Anakin to kill Dooku out of anger (Dooku is responsible for so much death, Palpatine reminds Anakin) just before the ruined man can finish speaking. Dooku's former goodness underlines Anakin's arrogance in thinking that his own fate will be any different.

The novelizations of the prequel films and other extended universe materials build up an image of Dooku's life as a Jedi and his Fall for us. We can assume and imagine a lot. We can retroactively apply knowledge gleaned from "The Clone Wars" with Dooku as a major villain. But ultimately, Dooku as a more sympathetic and emotionally relevant character is just not in the films.

When "Attack of the Clones" reveals to us: "Oh, no! Dooku has betrayed the Jedi Order and the Republic!" I think that most of the audience is like: "Gonna be real with you, chief, I have no idea who that is."

He's only been mentioned before once maybe? In Palpatine's office? Master Mundi assures Palpatine that Dooku is a good man (or something like that), but we have seen no evidence of this ourselves. This line mostly just becomes really funny on a rewatch, rather than poignant, because the prequel films audience only ever gets to see Count Dooku as a Sith Lord and rather underdeveloped villain. We don't ever get to see him be a "good guy" first. We're told but not shown.

The audience has no solid reason to care that Dooku specifically has betrayed the Order, as opposed to any random Jedi, because we haven't seen him before at all, much less interacting with any of our protagonists or establishing himself as an opinionated player within the story. Which is a shame! Because he has strong opinions that stand in interesting ideological conflict with so many other characters, generating fun and dramatic exchanges! He has direct connections to and parallels with other characters! He's potentially a really useful storytelling tool within these films, and his character just doesn't get used to that full tragic potential.

In conclusion...? I wish I'd actually been sad when Dooku betrayed everyone and died at Anakin's hand, instead of mostly just confused and then vaguely pitying. I want to see some of the love between characters beforehand, so that it hurts more effectively when that love turns to hate.

[bluerosefox]

Summoning the Summoner

Another summoning/long lost family au but with twist!

So Damian and his class are at Gotham museum for a small field trip for a school project. Thing is none of them knew until it was too late that the new museum curator was part of a cult that had plans to kidnap and sacrifice this class of kids for some ancient god/deity/spirit.

Damian barely manages to send a message to one of his brothers and to the cave before being knocked out when he sees his classmates dropping from knocknout gas.

When he wakes up the preparations for the sacrifice are almost ready. Damian being the most prominent person in the class is going to be the one chosen first. He is then taken to the alter and it begins after the whole villain speech. Damian does manage to get out of his bindings and tries to fight back, does lead them on a merry little chase to get more time for his family to come, nothing to Robiny though, but is forcibly restrained again.

Just as they bring Damian back to the alter none of them notice, or rather, care that Damian was bleeding from getting hit when they recaptured him. None of them notice when the blood dropped from his chin onto the summoning circle because the Batclan (any) just dropped into the room.

They did notice however when the summoning circle started glowing beneath them however.

And none of the cultists had time to finish the summoning chant.

Meaning the summoning circle was not under their control.

And before any of them could do anything, they are all ripped away from the Mortal Realm and everyone, Damian, his class, the cultists, and the Batfam in the room are pulled into the Infinite Realms.

They are no longer in the warehouse they were about to be sacrificed in but in a throne room. Surrounded by glowing floating people and some don't even look human.

And sitting on the throne was a teenager with a shoulder wrapped cape made of stars and galaxies, a crown of ice, stars, and aurora borealis lights shifting in between them, about Damian's age, with white hair and glowing green eyes who looked rather shocked.

The reason? Both him and Damian shared the same face.

-x-x-

Danny was annoyed as heck.

Ever since his crowning it was like every magic user from legendary to mediocre got a notice that a new Infinite Realms King had been crowned and that gave them the go ahead and try to freaking Summon him!

Luckily refusing a summons was well within Danny's Ghost King rights, he's King now he does what he wants (Sam's wise words), and the only summonings Danny answered were his friends and family (Dani is such a troll with it though, butttttt it does get him out of those annoying meetings sometimes and they get to hang out wherever she decided to stop at), sometimes he'd answer the odd teenage morons just to scare them (it's always fun)

Although there were a few summonings outside of that, that he had answered. Thankfully he could sense what kind of summoner was summoning him and intent was always a huge thing. And those that didn't feel like insane fruitloops well... Danny's curiosity often took over.

So imagine his annoyance when he felt another summon happening in the middle of a meeting with his council. But also imagine his surprise when the normally tight demands on the summoning wasn't there...

That meant...

Oh Danny was going to have a lot of fun with this.

This meant they summoning but don't have control on which way the summoning was going to go. Meaning, Danny could reverse summon them to him instead.

With a wide grin he instantly waved his hand and the meeting room shifted to his throne room, might as well pull out all the stops and play the "Big Bag Ghost King"

He could see his council (and good friends and allies) raise their eyebrows at him or tilt their heads but could also sense the attempted summonings power of him and knew he had something planned.

With a short laugh, Danny raised his hand, grasped on the invisible summoning line, and pulled.

Now he was expecting a good amount of people, the summoning felt large so that normally meant cultists but he was expecting so many! Heck some looked to be teenagers his age, and a few oddly dressed people besides the cultists! Oh boy did that mean sacrifices?! Well he'll be happy to put those cultists in their place if that was the case.

But first, find the summoner. Separate them from the group and -

Oh... why... why does he have Danny's face?!

Danny took a quick look at the normally invisible to everyone but him Summoning line and almost choked when he saw it was a sibling line, a blood sibling line.

[sansaorgana]

— BEDROOM HYMNS

PAIRING — Ser Gwayne Hightower x fem!Reader // Queen Alicent Hightower x fem!Reader

SUMMARY — Your sister-in-law wishes for you to become one of her ladies-in-waiting but you become so much more. Things complicate when your husband comes to visit.

AUTHOR’S NOTE — The title is from Florence + The Machine song. Alicent is a lesbian in this fic but she's also very conflicted about it. Reader is 100% bisexual. I wanted to write this fic for some time now because I have a crush on Alicent ever since Season One so yeah... Here we go... 😩😈

WARNINGS — cheating, homosexuality seen as something *wrong* (by Alicent), mentions of sexual activities (no actual smut – tiiiiny bit in the beginning)

WORD COUNT — 6,240

ENGLISH IS MY SECOND LANGUAGE.

BEDROOM HYMNS

You moved away from between her trembling legs after a cry of pleasure muffled by her own hand that she had covered her mouth with. Alicent’s juices were dripping down your chin when you smirked at her and looked up to meet her big brown eyes. Those soft big brown eyes that you adored more than anything. You had always adored them. So full of sadness and softness and you had never wanted anything but to make her feel better.

“Have I pleased you?” You asked while peppering her soft inner thighs with your kisses although you knew the answer already. Her husband had no idea how to please her.

The Queen only nodded and looked away. Poor Alicent – she always felt bad and guilty after the peak had already been reached. The sudden realisation of her sin was soul-crushing but the tension and desire had been too great to ignore them. She deserved the relief and you did not see anything bad about it.

“How many times do we have to do this?” You sighed and lied next to her in her bed. Your fingertips caressed her sides and your lips attached themselves to the crook of her neck, smelling all the scented oils in her hair. She was The Queen of the Realm and she was pampered like no other Lady. “There is no shame in this.”

“There is a sin,” Alicent turned her head around to finally meet your gaze. She raised her hand to nervously play with the seven-pointed star pendant on her sweaty chest.

“Why?” You bit on your lip and caressed her auburn locks out of her face.

“It is betrayal,” she frowned as if she was getting frustrated with your lack of understanding.

“It would have been if you lied with a man,” you explained and kissed her cheek before laying on your back and staring at the ceiling.

“I should find your vague idea of morality perplexing,” Alicent pointed out and you couldn’t help but chuckle at her confession.

“But you do not and thank Gods for that,” you rolled your eyes with a smirk.

A silence occurred as Alicent kept playing nervously with the pendant between her fingers and you were staring at the ceiling and counting all the cracks.

“What kind of husband is my brother?” She asked suddenly and you turned your head around to look at her again.

“A good one,” you admitted, feeling nearly guilty for that because you knew why she was asking – her husband was not good. Not to her and not to her children.

“Why are you doing this then?” Alicent asked.

It was obvious why her brother was on her mind now. He would arrive at King's Landing any day now. You couldn’t wait to see Gwayne again after a few months of being apart and you only wished he had taken your son with him but he could not. Robyn was the eldest son and he was supposed to stay in Oldtown. He had just become a squire and leaving his knight for a few long weeks would not be advised, therefore you had to go on missing your boy. Day after day as if he was a burning hole in your chest. Mothers would always miss their sons, you assumed.

“To kill the time,” you shrugged your arms, not wanting to reveal how much Alicent meant to you and for how long. “And to help you. You are my friend and I love you,” you confessed.

Alicent always loved Princess Rhaenyra more. Your father was a Master of Coin in King Viserys’ Small Council and you were growing up together – three girls running around happily. Or rather – two girls following the Princess like two overjoyed puppies. Rhaenyra was the centre of everything for you and not only because she was the Princess but also because she meant everything to Alicent. No matter how much effort you were putting into making Alicent like you more, you were destined to fail for she always was choosing Rhaenyra over you.

It made you grow bitter towards The Princess but never towards Alicent. You were blaming yourself – you had to become more and try harder perhaps and maybe then you’d earn more than just leftover crumbs of her love and friendship.

You couldn’t understand your feelings back then – why was the attraction so strong, what was making you feel so attached to the young Hightower Lady. You were the same age and yet everything she said was like a command to you. Wherever she went, you followed. Even when you felt like a burden because she so clearly would rather be left alone with Rhaenyra. But Rhaenyra never minded your presence because to her you were only a pawn on the board, an ornament, an addition of no importance. So, you often witnessed the two girls laughing together, whispering, exchanging small gestures of affection. You were only watching. Observing as your heart ached.

During The Heir's Tournament you met Ser Gwayne Hightower, Alicent’s older brother. He was young then, eager to show off his abilities and make his family proud. Perhaps he did not have his sister’s big brown eyes but he had the auburn hair you loved so much about her and he had her softness about him. You were enamoured with him in no time and when he approached the royal box to greet his sister – he caught your eye and you caught his and for that moment when your eyes met, you felt butterflies all over your body.

Ser Gwayne Hightower received your favour on that day and the sparkles of joy in your eyes while you were throwing the wreath at him were very obvious to your father and to his as well. You could not know that then but they exchanged meaningful looks for a short moment.

Even though Gwayne lost the duel with Prince Daemon Targaryen, he did not lose your affection. In fact, witnessing him nearly winning and losing only because Prince Daemon chose to play dirty – it only solidified your feelings. Ser Gwayne was a righteous man, a chivalrous knight and a brave one, too. It took lots of courage to face Prince Daemon Targaryen himself.

Gwayne was carried away with his face covered in blood and dirt while his mind was filled with thoughts of you – of losing your favour and your interest. However, you hurried to his side right after the tournament ended to make sure he was fine. And at the sight of you – he truly was fine again.

You were only ten and five but you knew already that Ser Gwayne was the only man you could see yourself being married off to. Thankfully, your father saw that, too. Two years later you were sent to Oldtown and for the whole time in between you were exchanging letters. When Alicent was married off to King Viserys shortly after his wife’s death, you still felt bitter but not as much as you could because you mostly felt excited about your own upcoming wedding.

However, the sadness and anxiety on Alicent’s face on her wedding day were a sight you would never forget.

Years and years of the happy marriage had passed and you were still in touch with your sister-in-law because of the letters you were exchanging and her son that you and Gwayne were raising in Oldtown – Prince Daeron Targaryen. But other than that, you had your own life now to live, your own duties, your own offspring and Alicent was simply not occupying your mind as much as in your adolescent years. 

You were aware of King Viserys’ health getting worse and worse as Alicent was ruling the Kingdom in his name. The burden of responsibility was heavy and her marriage was getting more and more difficult. You couldn’t say the same of your own union – you loved Gwayne and he loved you. Just like every married couple you had your misunderstandings and disagreements but you were grateful for him every day of your life and you knew well that he felt the same towards you.

It was after breakfast on one of those days that seemed to be pretty typical in the morning and then they turned out to be life-changing for a person. Without a warning and without an ominous feeling deep in one’s gut, they just happened and changed lives.

A letter came to you from Queen Alicent and you expected nothing of great importance in it so you put it below the pile of letters you had to respond to this morning. You sat by your desk and dipped the feather in the black ink as you started to perform one of your duties as Lady Hightower, helping your husband to run Oldtown in his father’s name.

Letter after letter, until finally you were left with the last one. You opened it with a small yawn, which turned into a frown after reading Alicent’s plea and request.

“What is it?” Gwayne entered your chambers this very moment but his smile dropped at the sight of your face.

You folded the letter suddenly as if it was a secret or something dirty but it only increased your husband’s curiosity as he approached the table and raised an eyebrow at you.

“What is it?” He repeated the question and you pinched the bridge of your nose, trying to find the right words.

“It is from your sister,” you replied and looked up to meet his confused gaze. He knew about your friendship and for you to react this way at one of Alicent’s letters was simply unusual.

“Is he dead?” Was all Gwayne asked.

“No, Gods, no,” you shook your head and took a deep breath in. “Not yet,” you added.

“What is it then?” Gwayne lifted your chin up gently to make sure your eyes would still be on his. You swallowed a lump in your throat and finally decided to tell him what his sister had requested.

“Queen Alicent wishes for me to become one of her ladies-in-waiting,” you revealed and Gwayne’s confusion only grew. “She feels lonely in King’s Landing, she needs a friend by her side. Somebody she can trust.”

“It is out of the question,” Gwayne took the folded paper from your hands and read the letter himself, still standing above you as you nervously fidgeted with your fingers.

Your own feelings were chaotic at that moment. Something in your heart wanted to run to King’s Landing at this very moment because Alicent needed you and because you wanted to make her life easier and make her happy. You had always wanted nothing but her happiness.

But you had your own duties in Oldtown and you had your husband here and your children. You could not just leave like that, could you? Especially when Oldtown was so far away from King’s Landing.

“It is out of the question,” Gwayne said again and threw the letter on your desk. “Reply to her that your Lord Husband does not agree.”

“She is your sister,” you looked up at him, pleadingly.

“Yes and I have nothing but love for her in my heart but her request is selfish,” he clenched his jaw as he looked you up and down, visibly surprised that you were not agreeing with him on this. “Why does she want to take you away from me? You are my wife.”

“Your wife – not your property,” you reminded him.

“That is debatable,” Gwayne huffed and looked away but before you could scold him, he continued with more. “Living in a different city, different castle, so far away from me… Will you still be my wife?” He turned his head around in an attempt to try to read your emotions.

“I will forever be your wife,” you stood up and took his hand into yours before placing it on your chest where your heart was. “But she needs me, Gwayne. She’s all alone there with no one by her side.”

“Father is with her,” Gwayne interrupted you. “He always favoured Alicent.”

“You do know that being favoured by him is a burden, not a prize,” you reminded. “Please, let me go. For some time at least. Until The King dies. It should not be for long and I’ll take the girls with me,” you tried to convince him as your fingers caressed his hand on your chest. “Please,” you whispered, looking up deep into his eyes.

After a long moment of silence and hesitation, your husband nodded his head reluctantly.

A few months later, you found yourself standing in the courtyard of The Red Keep, awaiting your husband’s arrival. He had a business to deal with in The Crownlands and he wanted to spend a few days with his family, too. You were caressing the creases on your dress with your hands and your teenage daughter Margaery was fixing her younger sister’s hairdo. Little Wyllow had been missing her father the most and she couldn’t wait for his arrival. In fact, she had made you and Margaery wait there since early morning and at this point you were exhausted already but you didn’t complain since you couldn’t wait to see Gwayne again either.

Even though it also felt a little weird and awkward since your mind was being flooded with memories of his sister’s body tangled with yours underneath her royal silk sheets. Her plump lips parted and soft moans escaping them, her beautiful big brown eyes hazy and filled with tears of shame and pleasure…

You were trying to shake those thoughts and images off of your head when you were interrupted by the sound of the horses approaching the gate.

“Father!” Wyllow nearly ran straight under the horse if she was not stopped by Margaery.

Your older daughter gave you a scolding look and she was right to do so because it was your duty to watch over your children, meanwhile you were distracted by the memories of dirty acts instead.

When you watched Gwayne jumping off of the horse, your heart clenched in your chest at the sight of him and you suddenly realised why Alicent was so filled with shame and guilt because now you felt them, too.

His handsome face, his eyes sparkling at the sight of you, his auburn hair reflecting in the sun… He truly was the man you loved. You just couldn’t help the fact you loved his sister, too.

“Father!” Wyllow finally was free to run into his arms and he crouched down to hug her and kiss her forehead.

“I am so happy to see you, little bird,” Gwayne cupped his daughter’s cheeks and she giggled.

He straightened himself but Wyllow clinged to his left hand so he used his right one to caress Margaery’s face lovingly.

“You’re growing fast, my love,” he pointed out.

“I am trying my best, Lord Father,” Margaery nodded her head with a smile and then she took a step back to get out of the way and let him greet you.

“Lord Husband,” you gave him a nervous and soft smile. Gwayne tilted his head a little and your heart skipped a beat. He was a very observant man but there was nothing that would give you away, right? What could it be?

“Lady Wife,” he smiled at you and took two steps ahead to be able to kiss the palm of your hand. Whatever he had noticed, he pretended it was nothing. At least for now.

“You must be exhausted,” you pointed out. “The chambers have been already prepared for you and I’m going to tell the maids to fix you a bath.”

“Does it mean we are not sharing the same chambers during my stay here?” Gwayne raised an eyebrow at you.

Margaery cleared her throat and she took Wyllow by her free hand.

“Shall we go inside now? Let our Lady Mother greet Lord Father properly,” she dragged her protesting sister behind her.

“She is becoming a fine Lady,” you chuckled awkwardly. “I can’t help feeling that the air and water in King’s Landing are making her grow up faster. Perhaps she is spending too much time with women older than her,” you explained, clasping your hands in front of yourself as if you had no idea what to do with them. “Come with me, I am sure you want to greet your father and sister, too.”

“I do,” Gwayne followed you inside while some of the men he had taken with him were taking care of his luggage with the help of The Red Keep’s servants. “You still haven’t answered my question about the chambers,” he pointed out when you were in the staircase together.

“My darling,” you turned around abruptly, making him stop his walk. “Your chambers are close to mine, please do not get cross with me. Those past few months I have learnt to love my solitude,” you explained and Gwayne tilted his head again but he only nodded.

“Let it be then,” he only said.

With each one of your husband’s kisses and each one of his touches, each one of your reached peaks and cries of pleasure, you felt more and more purified of sin as if his body was washing away Alicent’s smell off of you. After months of not laying together, you were lost in each other for hours with caring very little about getting any sleep. You were watching the sun rise behind the window when you were too exhausted to go on as you were laying on Gwayne’s chest, drawing circles there with your fingers and his hand was playing with your hair, gently massaging your scalp.

“Have you been faithful to me?” You asked casually and you could feel his muscles tensing under you.

You had no right to ask that – but he did not know of it.

“I have,” he answered. “Of course I have.”

“And if I say that the whores count, too?” You looked up playfully.

“I have been faithful to my Lady Wife,” Gwayne shook his head and you spotted a slight irritation on his face. He did not like it when his honour was being questioned – he was a knight, after all. “Why do you ask? Have you not been faithful to me?”

A shiver went down your spine at his chilling accusation.

“How can you ask me that?” You gasped.

“You have accused me first.”

“Because you are a man,” you reminded him.

“I am. And I know what men are like,” Gwayne nodded his head. “They must all be following you around – a beautiful Lady far away from her husband is like an invitation,” he finally cracked a smile, revealing that he was only jesting.

“I do not want any man but you,” you assured him as the tension left your body because you did not have to lie about it.

“That is good to know, my love,” Gwayne kissed the top of your head. “You had me worried with your cold greeting and not letting me into your chambers.”

“Are you not in my chambers now, Lord Husband?” You teased him and placed a kiss on his chest where his heart was. “And if my greeting was cold, then I owe you an apology. I spend too much time around your sister and her husband and I keep forgetting that some marriages are happy. That mine is…” You wanted to look up to meet his gaze but you couldn’t as something inside of you was stopping you.

“That is a shame,” Gwayne only said.

“It is, darling, but you are here now to remind me.”

You were sitting in the same chambers as Alicent, embroidering side by side and even though you were using no words, you found each other’s company comforting. Your arms were brushing as you both were focused on creating beautiful patterns on the same piece of fabric to make the work faster. It was supposed to be a beautiful green blanket with embroidered little dragons. 

Princess Helaena was sitting nearby and embroidering spiders on her own piece of fabric. Her cousin, Lady Margaery Hightower was sitting next to her and teaching her younger sister the craft. It was peaceful, cosy and quiet – you loved those moments the most because it was nearly as if Alicent was your own Lady Wife and you were just enjoying the time spent together with your family, far away from all those loud and obnoxious men surrounding you everywhere. These chambers were your escape and your own queendom.

When the doors opened, everyone except for Helaena looked up with a slight irritation since the man entering this sanctuary was nothing but an intruder. Even if the man was Ser Gwayne Hightower, who was loved by every person inside the chambers.

He cleared his throat when you gave him a soft smile, your arm still brushing Alicent’s and you were sitting in a way that made sure you were facing each other. You had never thought about it before but it was quite intimate indeed. Your husband’s tilted head made you realise that he had just observed something and after a short while you understood what it was as you moved away slightly.

“Brother,” Alicent greeted him. 

“Lord Husband,” you nodded at him.

“Forgive me for interrupting. I would like to take Margaery for a walk around the gardens,” he extended his hand towards his older daughter as Wyllow looked up at him with pleading eyes. “It must be Margaery alone this time but I promise you, little bird, I am going to take you for a walk later, too. Perhaps we’ll walk to the bay and watch the ships,” he assured her and she sighed with relief.

“You can finish without my help now, I believe,” Margaery handed the fabric to her younger sister. “Do try, at least. If you face any challenges, Lady Mother or Helaena shall help you.”

Helaena looked up when her name was mentioned and she gave Wyllow a soft smile that encouraged her little cousin to keep going. When Margaery stood up and left the sofa, Wyllow moved closer to Helaena and The Princess did not seem to mind.

“Can you help me with the ladybug?” She asked and Helaena’s face lit up at that.

“Lord Father,” Margaery took Gwayne by his arm and bowed her head at you and Alicent before walking out of the chambers with her father.

“I am wondering what is the matter my Lord Husband wishes to discuss with Margaery,” you hummed to yourself.

“She is ten and five now,” Queen Alicent pointed out. “What is the only possible matter that fathers wish to discuss with their daughters at that age?”

You furrowed your brows at her words because she was right and you did not like the sound of that. It was a shame that she was right, too, and not only for your own daughter but for every woman in this Realm. 

You saw Gwayne again before dinner, on your way to the dining hall. He was walking down the stairs and you rushed to him to walk by his side. He offered you his arm and you took it.

“I have a question for you, Lord Husband,” you started, nearly aggressively and he raised his eyebrows at that fierceness.

“What is it, my love?”

“Are you planning to marry our sweet Margaery off so quickly? I do not wish for her to get wed too soon,” you told him, hoping he would understand your point of view because sadly, in the end, the decision was his to make for women had always been properties of men – once her father’s, then her husband’s.

Sometimes you wished you had become a septa.

“Not soon, no. But she is ten and five. That was the age you were in when we met,” Gwayne reminded you with a smile.

“Yes, indeed, my darling, but it was us both meeting and falling in love. That is different, you must admit,” you pursed your lips.

“I must, indeed. Do not worry, I am not willing to force anything upon our sweet daughter. I have only told her to start looking around for suitable matches… soon,” your husband explained. “I am sure King’s Landing is full of important young men.”

“I do not wish for her to get married here. This place is rotten and so are its people,” you sighed. “My greatest wish is for Margaery to marry a man from The Reach.”

“We all have wishes, my darling wife,” Gwayne’s answer was nearly mocking but he spotted your annoyance so he looked around to make sure you were not being seen before pulling you by your waist and pushing you against the wall to steal a kiss from your lips. “Gods, I missed this,” he whispered and you felt your cheeks heating up.

“Gwayne!” You scolded him playfully. “I missed this, too,” you added and caressed his cheek with your fingers.

But his smile dropped and eyes became serious all of the sudden. You stayed like that in a short moment of silence before he dropped the question that turned your guts inside out:

“What is the nature of your relationship with my sister?”

You were taken aback by his question and you moved your hand away from his face before taking a deep breath in, trying to steady your heartbeat.

“Alicent is my best friend,” you looked deep into his eyes, surprised by your own courage to lie like this…

But was it a lie? She was your friend, after all.

“There is intimacy between you two that I can only wish for between us these days,” Gwayne whispered and you bit on your lower lip.

“She is my main companion for weeks now,” you tried to explain.

“Are you still planning to come back home after The King dies?” Gwayne lowered his voice even more since talking about the monarch’s death could be seen as treason.

“Y-yes, of course,” you nodded nervously.

“Why the tremble of your voice?” Gwayne raised an eyebrow.

“What are you accusing me of?” You suddenly clenched your fists, trying to take another route of getting out of this awkward situation. “Your implications are indecent. You have been accusing me of obscenities ever since you arrived here. You wound me deeply, Lord Husband,” you straightened yourself.

“You have accused me first,” Gwayne reminded you.

“Without any reproach thrown at you. I have asked out of simple curiosity,” you informed him.

“You are right, do forgive me,” he reached for your hand to place a delicate kiss upon the palm of it. You sighed, feeling extremely guilty.

“You are forgiven,” you whispered, nearly inaudibly, because it felt wrong to be the one saying those words.

In fact, at that very moment, you promised yourself to fix everything. You promised yourself to invite Gwayne to your chambers again for the night and let his touch to purify you like on the previous night. And you would go to The Sept and you would pray the sin away, you would beg for forgiveness, you would be a better wife, perhaps you would beg Alicent to let you go back to Oldtown with your husband.

Yes, that was the plan.

In the early morning you couldn’t tell that you were well-rested. Your muscles were sore after the previous two nights and your head was hazy but you still got dressed up quickly when the sun was rising and creeping inside your chambers to shine upon Gwayne’s auburn hair. You leaned in to kiss his forehead and you left him sleeping to visit The Sept and be able to go back to The Red Keep before breakfast.

You had never been a devout but you were not a savage either. You believed in Gods and now more than ever you needed redemption.

You expected to be alone there at such an early hour but no – of course not. Queen Alicent was already there, kneeling by the stone table and lighting the candles. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath in. She was your greatest temptation and it was a cruel joke that the Gods had played on you to put her there at this time when you visited The Sept to pray her very own self away from your life.

Alicent looked up, surprised to see you. Her soft features were as sad as usual but at the sight of you she seemed to be a bit happier – relieved, in a way. Your heart clenched inside your chest. How could you ever want to leave her? You couldn’t. She was too dependent on you. Her happiness was and so was her sanity. Leaving her would be equal to killing her.

“I have not expected you in The Sept at such an early hour,” she commented as you kneeled next to her.

“I have not expected myself here either,” you smirked. “I came here to ask for forgiveness.”

“Forgiveness? Aren’t you always the one telling me that what we do is no sin?” Alicent furrowed her brows.

“I have lied to my husband. That is a sin,” you confessed and Alicent did not say anything to this. “I… I will have to go back to Oldtown, I think… I can’t… I can’t go on like this,” you looked down and Alicent remained silent but you didn’t have to look at her to know her big brown eyes were filled with tears. “I miss my son and I miss Oldtown… King’s Landing is corrupt and I do not wish for my daughters to grow up here. I… I miss Gwayne, too. I love him, I love him, I love him…”

“Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” Sudden, harsh question made you look up to meet her teary gaze.

“I’ve been loving him ever since I saw him during the tournament. You were there, sitting by my side,” you reminded her.

“You love him because he is my brother but your life has always revolved around me,” Alicent pointed out and you felt your cheeks heating up.

“You… You knew?” You only asked.

“I was blind to choose Rhaenyra because she was never for me to reach. She was The Princess and you were equal to me, so devoted. Blindly, very often. I took you for a fool and only after losing you, I realised. When you were sent to Oldtown, I suddenly understood that my only friend had left my side,” Alicent explained. “My only friend and the only person who has ever… Who has ever loved me – except for my mother.”

“Gwayne loves you, too,” you pointed out.

“Does he? He took you away from me,” Alicent’s jaw clenched and your eyes widened. She was not being rational but you knew why – she was scared of losing you again. In fact, she was determined to make you stay by her side.

“You will not let me leave, will you?” You whispered.

Alicent opened her mouth to say something but then her face softened and she stood up rapidly to walk away.

“I am sorry… I do not wish to… Act like this… I do not recognise myself,” she admitted with her voice full of shame. She raised her hands up to her mouth as she nervously bit on the soft skin around her fingernails.

You didn’t answer because you were too lost in your own thoughts. Was she right again? About you loving Gwayne only because he was her brother? You had never thought about it before. It would mean your whole marriage was a lie, an illusion – or rather a delusion.

“When I’m with him, I don’t imagine you,” you stood up as well when the realisation hit you. “But when I’m with you, he doesn’t exist to me. It’s as if there were two of me.”

“I do not understand,” Alicent shook her head. “To me, there is only you,” she confessed and laid her eyes on you.

You didn’t know what to answer. You swallowed a lump in your throat instead.

“I am flawed, poisoned…” Alicent continued. “I can only feel this way towards other women. I felt this way towards Rhaenyra until a certain moment and then… Then my whole life was about you. I have spent hours inside this Sept, trying to pray this away,” Alicent’s silent tears streamed down her cheeks.

“I do not have such a conflict. I can love both men and women,” you told her. “I can love you and I can love Gwayne…”

“I do not wish to share you!” Alicent interrupted you and then she hid her face in her hand as she sobbed.

“Women are not their own property. I am not the one to decide if I can be shared,” you answered diplomatically.

You felt sorry for her but you also felt sorry for Gwayne that he was being betrayed behind his back by his own wife and sister – two women he loved the most except for his daughters. He would die for you both, he would kill to protect you or to defend your honours – even though none of you had an honour anymore. He was the real victim here.

But one more look at Alicent’s sad eyes was enough to break you again. You approached her to cup her face and kiss her softly. She protested in the beginning since you were inside The Sept but you didn’t give a fuck about it anymore – you would go to Seven Hells anyway.

“I shall not leave you,” you promised her.

When you came back to your chambers, Gwayne was dressing up in front of the mirror. He raised an eyebrow at you entering the room.

“Where have you been?” He asked.

“In The Sept to pray,” you answered truthfully.

“Has my sister turned you into a devout like her already?” He chuckled.

“She has a great influence on me,” you nodded and walked up to him to kiss his cheek.

“You even smell like her,” he said and your heart skipped a beat.

“I am fond of her scented oils and she allows me to use them,” you answered.

“It feels weird when I’m fucking you, I have to admit,” Gwayne chuckled awkwardly and so did you.

“You shall fuck me more then,” you pointed out quietly.

“Even more, Lady Wife?” He shook his head with another chuckle.

“Until her scent is gone,” you explained and looked out of the window.

Gwayne did not say anything to this but his smile disappeared. From the corner of your eye you saw his reflection in the mirror and you realised that he had finally understood what was going on behind his back.

After a while, which felt like forever, he cleared his throat:

“It is a putrid place indeed.”

“You must take me far away from here,” you turned around to grab his arm and your heart broke when you felt him flinch a little. “You must save my soul and take me home,” you pleaded despite the promise you had given to Alicent earlier but that promise had not been given sober. You had been intoxicated with her.

“You must come back home yourself, my love,” Gwayne smiled sadly at you and caressed your hair gently, “for I do not wish to force anything upon you. You are always kind enough to remind me that you are not my property, aren't you? And I agree,” he nodded, “this decision is for you to make.”

And you didn’t know what to say or do because there was no decision that felt right and no decision that didn’t feel wrong either. Gwayne was your duty and your sacrifice and Alicent was a self-indulgent sin but you loved them both so much that you cursed the whole Hightower bloodline for existing because your life would be so much easier without them.

You knew what Gwayne was expecting of you – he expected you to choose your duty because – just like his sister – he was all about honour and decency. But you didn’t want your husband to feel as if you were choosing him only because of your marriage vows – you wanted him to know that you cared for him, too, even though he wouldn’t believe you now.

But there was only one choice for you anyway, wasn’t it? You couldn’t just stay with Alicent and pretend that it was the right thing to do. You couldn’t abandon your family and your duties for her and she had to understand it.

You looked deep into Gwayne’s eyes and your own filled with tears at the sight of all the pain and sadness in his. You dropped your hand down from his arm to intertwine your fingers with his.

“I do not think of myself as flawed or poisoned for feeling the way I feel,” you explained to him. “But I do not wish for my nature to spoil our union. If anybody can save me, it would be you,” you whispered. A plea. A desperate cry for help. “I am a mother, I am a wife, I am Lady Hightower and my home is in Oldtown.”

Your heart, however, would forever be divided; torn and bleeding. The deep, burning hole was forever to stay there for one reason or another.

MASTERLIST

[jetii]

To the General

Pairing: Howzer x fem!Reader / Howzer x Jedi!Reader

Words: 14,310

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! angst, hurt/comfort, themes of grief/death/mourning, some blood/gore, depression, hallucinations, unrequited feelings, mutual pining, smut, unprotected sex, dirty talk, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), some light dom/sub dynamics, a little cockwarming

Summary: It's been over a year since Howzer has lost his General, and yet, the ghost of your memory still haunts him. His guilt and grief threaten to swallow him whole, until Rex returns to the base with a surprise visitor.

A/N: Reposting because I forgot my taglist. 🤦‍♀️ No excuse for the word count I fear. I just love Jedi/Clone forbidden love with all my heart, and I love writing dramatic reunions even more.

Previous Work | Next Work | Masterlist

Howzer doesn’t remember how it happened. 

Their arrival on Ryloth had come on the heels of an overdrawn battle on Bothawui. The entire battalion was teetering on the edge of exhaustion by the time they had boarded The Eclipse. Their hopes of an extended shore leave were quickly dashed as it was announced by order of the Jedi Council and the Chancellor himself that they would be sent to occupy Ryloth indefinitely.

The General had tried to make the most of it. She’d arranged for the mess to cook the finest meal they could get their hands on, which admittedly wasn’t more than some fresh meats and root vegetables, but the crew didn't complain. And if Howzer caught the smell of alcohol floating about when they walked to their stations, he didn't say anything about it.

Still, no amount of finery or good cheer could hide the truth: the crew was worn ragged and the battalion was ready to snap. The men resolved to keep pushing on for the sake of their General, who had taken their heavy losses the hardest. That night, she’d broken into tears over the new helmets lining their memorial wall, a wall that was nearly full.

Howzer had been with her, had stood with her and her tears. He had seen the General in every state of grief, of anger and pain. He'd also seen her at her very best. He'd seen her bright smile and heard her warm laugh. He'd been there for the moments of victory and the moments of defeat.

She was his General and his closest friend, his guiding star, and he would do anything for her.

Howzer doesn’t remember how it happened, but he does remember her. He remembers everything about her.

His first memory is her as a young commander, and the first time he saw her. It was on Kamino, and the first time she had visited. She'd been there with her Master, who had come to assess the cadets' progress. They had all lined up in neat rows for the inspection. Howzer remembers how tall she had looked in her uniform and cape despite how all the men towered over her.

Howzer can't remember what she said or did. But he can recall her eyes and the warmth in them as she walked past them. He had wanted her to look at him.

His second memory is the first time they met, months later. It was shortly after the start of the war, and the 318th was still in its infancy. The General had just arrived to pick her new battalion up, and as her new Captain, Howzer was part of the honor guard.

Howzer doesn’t remember the words they spoke, only that she was kind and her voice was warm, and when she smiled, the whole world seemed to brighten.

In the years that followed, he got to know her and became her aide. They were together almost every day. They spent time with their men and led them through the horrors of war. She was a natural leader, charismatic and inspiring, and it wasn't long before Howzer was completely devoted to her.

But the war continued, and so did the death. They had lost men and friends, and Howzer had to watch the General suffer each time. Her pain was his. How could it not be?

She was the best thing in his life, his bright light in the darkness, and he was in love with her.

Howzer doesn’t remember when he began thinking of her that way. He thinks he might’ve always loved her, always wanted her. Maybe from the moment he saw her in that corridor.

All he knew is that he'd loved her in every possible way a man could love a woman, just as he knew that his love would never be reciprocated.

But it didn't matter.

As long as he was with her, Howzer would pretend, and he was okay with that. He could live with loving her from afar and keeping his feelings in check. As her Captain, his job was to support her, and he would be the best damn Captain she'd ever had.

He could dream of a different reality where she returned his feelings, one where they were not at war, and maybe one where he was not her clone trooper. He would dream of a life where he could hold her and touch her, where he could kiss her and whisper how much he loved her.

But those were dreams, and nothing more.

And reality was very different now.

Now, the General is nothing more than a memory.

It’s been long enough that pieces of her are starting to fade from his mind, and he hates it. He wants to hang on to her as long as possible, but he knows that his memories are all he has left. He doesn’t have a holo or picture of her. He only has the images in his mind and the broken piece of nova crystal he kept tucked away in his pocket.

Howzer doesn't remember how it happened.

But he knows it’s his fault.

Howzer is the one who let her down. He's the reason she died. He must be, even if he can't remember it, because he can't accept any other reality. He was her Captain and her right-hand man, her closest friend and her most devoted soldier. If she died, it was because he had failed her, and he will never forgive himself for it.

Maybe he deserves to forget.

That thought is worse than the one of her death.

There was a time when he had wondered if his love was a sickness, something to be ashamed of and hidden away. He didn't want his brothers to know and judge him, and he didn't want her to know, either. He'd never acted on his desires. He'd never told her, and maybe that's why this is so much worse.

Maybe this is a punishment, and one he deserves.

He knows he must have done something wrong, something terrible, because no man would be this cursed unless they deserved it. The nightmares, the guilt, the emptiness, it had to be some kind of retribution for his transgressions.

He's tried to forget. He's tried to move on. He's tried to be a better man, a better clone. He's tried to do everything that a good soldier should, but no matter what he does, no matter how hard he tries, his mind always drifts back to her. His thoughts always wander to his memories. He can't shake her. He doesn't know how to. He's never known how.

Every time he closes his eyes to sleep, he sees her. She's the same as the last time he saw her, with her armor and her hair up in its braid, and she is beautiful. Howzer is so happy to see her again, so relieved that she's not gone.

But she is, and he has to tell her.

He tries, but the words don't come out right. Or maybe it's just that he can't say them, that he still doesn't want to accept what had happened after all this time. But the words are stuck in his throat, and his eyes burn, and Howzer knows she's waiting for him to answer her.

And he can't.

She's waiting for him, and he can't.

She deserves to know the truth. She needs to know that she died, that he failed her, and that her death is on his hands.

Howzer can't look at her. He can't face her.

He closes his eyes and waits for her to turn away. He waits for her to leave him, because he doesn't deserve her.

She doesn’t.

Instead, she steps forward and takes his hands into hers. He flinches at her touch, because she shouldn’t be here. She isn't real. She's just another figment of his imagination, his punishment, and he wants her to stop. He can't do this anymore.

"Howzer," she says. "Howzer, look at me."

And he does. He can't help himself. Her face is starting to blur in his memory, he can't remember the exact shade of her eyes, and he doesn't want to forget. Not yet. He opens his eyes and looks at her, but he knows what he'll find.

Blood.

Her blood.

On his hands, on his face, on his chestplate.

There's so much of it, and he can't stop staring at it, at the way it coats her armor and drips onto the floor. He can't look away. He can't do anything.

"Look at me, Howzer," she says again.

But he can't. He can't do it.

He can't look at her, not like this. He can't stand the thought of seeing her face covered in blood, her lifeless eyes staring at him, her body cold and broken and gone.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispers. "It's all my fault."

"No," she says.

She doesn't say anything else, and Howzer wants to scream. He wants to cry. He wants her to yell at him and berate him, to curse him and hate him. But when he finally gains the courage to look her in the eye, there's nothing there. She's gone.

It's the worst thing he could've imagined.

He's alone.

Last night’s nightmare plays over and over again in his mind as he stands at the holotable, looking over the map and trying not to think of the General.

It's hard. It's always been hard, but it's gotten worse over the last few months. The dreams are more frequent, and the pain is more intense. He doesn't know how to stop them, or if they will ever stop.

He thought it would get better when he joined Rex's group, that he would find some semblance of peace with the other clones fighting the good fight, but he was wrong.

There is no peace for him, not after what he did.

The others are talking around him, but Howzer is only half listening. It's the usual stuff: what their next move will be, how many supplies they have, and the list goes on. Rex is expected to return from a meeting with Senator Chuchi any minute, and this meeting is more about making sure the captain is updated on what he missed.

But the details escape Howzer. He's distracted by his thoughts, and his guilt is eating at him. It's all he can think about, and he can't shake the feeling that he doesn't deserve to be here.

"Howzer."

The sound of his name brings him back to reality, and he realizes everyone is looking at him.

"Uh, sorry," he says. "What was the question?"

Echo studies him. His gaze is intense, and Howzer has the distinct impression that he's being read. It's a disconcerting feeling, one that he's felt more than a few times in the last couple months since his rescue, and it makes him feel transparent. Like his armor is gone and his emotions are on display.

But that can't be the case, because Howzer hasn't told him what happened.

No one knows the truth, not even the men. Howzer hasn't told anyone about his part in his General's death, and he's not planning to either. There's no point in dredging up the past. He knows he’s not the only clone with guilt about what happened to the Jedi, what they had done.

He’s just the only one who can’t seem to let it go.

"I asked if you were alright," Echo says. "You've seemed a little off the last few days.”

Howzer nods.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he says. "Just a little tired."

The lie slips off his tongue easily, and it's one he's told more than a few times before. He's not fine, and he hasn't been since that day, but there's no need to burden his brothers with his problems.

Echo doesn't look convinced, and he's about to open his mouth to ask another question when Rex finally arrives. The captain's entrance is followed by a chorus of greetings and welcomes, and the tension in the room dissipates. The men are happy to see him, and Howzer is thankful for the distraction.

The Captain greets the men, and then he turns to Howzer.

"Howzer," Rex says. "Do you mind if I speak to you privately?"

"Of course not, Captain," Howzer answers.

Rex leads Howzer out of the command center and down the corridor. The walk is silent, and Howzer can feel the tension building between them. Rex hasn't said a word, and he has no idea why he wants to talk to him. Maybe it's about his recent performance, or lack thereof. He hasn't been the most reliable or helpful lately.

Howzer is starting to worry in earnest when they turn, moving away from the section of the compound that holds Rex's makeshift office and toward the doors leading out to the landing zone. Walking slightly in front of him, Rex is tense, his shoulders stiff and his jaw set. Whatever he has to say, it must be serious.

Rex finally stops in front of the closed blast doors and turns to Howzer. His expression is neutral, and it's impossible to tell what's going on in his head.

"Rex," Howzer begins, unable to bear the silence any longer, "if this is about my work, I understand. I haven't been on top of things the last few days, and if you need to put someone else on comms, I—"

Rex puts his hand up.

"That's not why I asked you out here, Howzer," Rex says. "There's someone here you need to see."

Howzer raises an eyebrow, confused.

"I don't understand," he says. "Who's here?"

"Just follow me."

Rex punches in a code, and the doors slide open. The light from outside fills the hallway, and Howzer blinks at the sudden brightness. He steps out into the landing zone, following Rex into the sunlight. The air is warm and dry, and he can already feel the heat radiating from the cracked duracrete beneath his boots.

"What are we doing out here, Rex?" he asks.

Rex doesn't answer, just keeps walking across the landing zone toward the ship. The Remora stands alone on the platform, ramp already drawn. Howzer squints in an effort to see inside the darkness of the vessel, looking for a spot of white plastoid among the shadows.

But what steps forward isn’t a clone at all.

Howzer recognizes you instantly, and he suddenly feels like he’s about to faint.

His vision tunnels, and the world tilts on its axis. He can hear his heart pounding in his ears, and his breath is coming too fast, too hard. There's a roaring sound, like the sound of a rushing river, and it drowns out everything else. He feels sick, and his legs are shaking.

It can't be real. It can't be.

But it is.

There’s a loud clang, and he dimly realizes his helmet has fallen from his hands. It's lying on the ground now, at his feet, but he can't seem to find the strength to pick it up. All he can do is stare.

You descend the ramp slowly and place a hesitant foot onto the ground. The corners of your lips curl into an uncertain smile, while Howzer remains frozen, trapped in disbelief.

You take a step forward, and he still doesn't move. He's rooted to the spot, his heart racing, and he's afraid.

Howzer knows he's hallucinating. He's been here before. This isn't the first time you've appeared to him, not the first time you've looked at him with those warm eyes and called his name. But every time he reaches out, the mirage vanishes. He's tried. He's tried so hard to reach you.

He knows he's going to wake up, and you will be gone again.

It doesn't stop him from wanting to believe that it's real. That you're here.

Your smile falters when you notice his helmet on the ground, and Howzer watches your eyes search his. They're the same as they've always been, bright and kind, and full of concern. It's too much. It's always been too much.

"Howzer," you say. "Are you okay?"

"No," he says.

You step closer, and Howzer instinctively backs away. You stop. Your brows furrow, and your eyes fill with hurt, and it makes his stomach twist. He wants to go to you, to pull you close and hold you, but he doesn't. He can't.

This isn't real. None of it is real.

He has to tell you.

"What do you mean? What's wrong?" you ask.

You're still walking toward him, and Howzer has to force himself not to run. He has to stop this before it goes any further. He can't let himself fall prey to his delusions, not again.

"No, it's not real," he says.

You frown. "What's not real?"

"You," he whispers. "You're not real. None of this is."

You stop, your eyes wide and worried. "Howzer, what are you talking about?"

He ignores you. He has to make you understand.

"You're dead," he says. His voice breaks on the last word, and it comes out as a choked sob.

The words hang between the two of you, and Howzer braces himself for the inevitable. He knows what will happen. You'll disappear. He's seen it happen enough times, and he can't bear to go through it again.

He closes his eyes and tries to focus, to steady his breathing and keep the tears at bay.

But when he opens his eyes, you're still there.

And then the impossible happens.

You move forward, and he doesn't stop you. He doesn't flinch or back away when you reach out and put your hands on his shoulders. He can't.

Your touch is solid. Real.

You're real.

His legs give way, forcing him to collapse heavily onto his knees. He can't bear the weight anymore. The grief, the guilt, the shame. It's too much.

“I failed you, General,” he says around the lump in his throat threatening to choke him. Howzer squeezes his burning eyes shut, willing the tears away, but they come regardless. He feels his body tremble, his shoulders shaking as he fights against the sob rising in his chest. He tries to take a deep breath, but his lungs won't cooperate, and all he manages is a choked gasp. 

“I…I’m so sorry.”

"Howzer, Howzer, please look at me."

It's not a request.

Your voice is commanding, the way he remembers, and it's enough to coax him into opening his eyes. Looking at you directly is almost too painful to bear, like looking directly at Ryloth’s sun, but he does.

Tears are streaming down your face, but a gentle smile still curves your lips. The hand on his shoulder moves to cup his face, thumb tracing the marred skin of his cheek. Unbidden, the memory of you holding him when he received the wound years ago comes to mind. Howzer hadn't seen it then, but the affection is clear now.

"It's okay," you say, softly.

"It's not," he replies. "I shouldn't have let you go."

Your hand moves to his jaw, and you gently tilt his chin upwards. He wants to lean into the touch, to bask in the warmth of your skin, but he can't. He doesn't deserve this. Not after what he did.

"I should've known. I should've—"

"Stop," you cut him off.

Your voice is firm, but the hand on his jaw is soft and gentle, and your eyes are still kind. He wants so badly to believe that this is real, that you're really here, but the doubts linger. He can't let himself fall into the illusion. He can't let himself lose you again.

"You can't blame yourself for this, Howzer. It wasn't your fault."

"I failed you."

"No, Howzer," you say. "You didn't."

He doesn't know what to say. Your hand is still on his face. Your fingers are trembling.

“I forgive you," you whisper the words softly, and it's more than he deserves. "I forgave you long ago."

It's too much.

His composure breaks, and he wraps his arms around your hips, burying his face in your stomach. His tears are hot and wet, and they soak through the fabric of your shirt. His sobs are loud and broken, and he can barely breathe, but he can't stop, and you don't push him away. The hand on his cheek cups the back of his head, and your other arm wraps around his shoulders.

"I'm so sorry," he whispers.

He isn't sure if you hear him. He's not sure if he wants you to. But you must, because your grip tightens, and your hand runs through his hair.

He holds you, clinging to you like a lifeline, and lets the tears flow. He can't hold back the sobs, the pain, the anger. All of the emotions are coming to the surface, and they won't be held back any longer.

He cries for you, for the pain you endured. For the loss and the hurt. He cries for himself, for the guilt and the shame. He cries because it hurts, and because he's relieved, and because he can't believe this is real and he's so kriffing happy to see you again.

When his tears finally stop, you're still there, still holding him, and he's still kneeling in front of you. His shoulders are stiff, his muscles sore, but he can't find the strength to move.

He doesn't want to.

He wants to stay like this forever.

Eventually, you break the silence.

“Is there somewhere we can go to speak in private?” you ask quietly. Your fingers run through the buzzed hair at the back of his head and linger on the scar there, the one he doesn’t have a story for. A shiver runs down his spine before his brain catches up to your question.

Howzer nods and clears his throat.

"Yeah," he says, his voice hoarse. "My room. We can talk there."

You help him stand, and he takes a moment to collect himself, wiping his eyes. When he looks at you again, he feels a hot sting of embarrassment. It's been a long time since he's let himself fall apart like this, and he's not sure how to act, and he's grateful there's no one else around to witness it.

You don't seem bothered by his breakdown. You smile, and it's soft and warm, and his heart does a strange flip.

"Are you okay?" you ask, and your concern is so genuine that it almost brings fresh tears to his eyes. His emotions feel raw, like an open wound, and he's not sure how much more he can take before he's completely overwhelmed, but when he answers this time, he speaks the truth.

"I will be," he says as he kneels to collect his helmet.

You nod, and there's a hint of relief in your eyes, but the smile on your face never wavers as you step up to his side. He’s surprised to feel your hand threading through the crook of his elbow before he realizes it was he who had held out his arm for you. A force of habit he didn't know he still had, but one that was very welcome.

It had always been your way, before. To walk beside him instead of ahead.

He takes a deep breath and straightens his shoulders.

"Shall we?"

"Yes," you say, smiling.

As the two of you begin to make your way across the landing zone, Howzer can't help but marvel at how natural this feels. The familiarity of your presence at his side, the soft pressure of your hand against his arm, and the sound of your breathing.

All of it feels so right, and Howzer thinks it must be a dream, a hallucination, something, because this is too perfect. It can't be real. It's been far too long for it to be real.

But the weight of your arm on his and the sound of your footsteps at his side feel real, more real than anything he's ever experienced. He's never had a hallucination this vivid before. He hopes it's not just a dream, but he keeps his eyes on you just to make sure.

You look different. Older, maybe. But also more beautiful.

It's a silly thought, but it's the truth. There's a certain peace and calmness to your expression, and it suits you. You look content, like you've finally found what you were looking for, and Howzer feels a rush of joy.

You're alive.

He still can't quite believe it, and he finds himself staring openly at you. He knows the path to his room like the back of his hand, and he could probably make the trek with his eyes closed. But he doesn't.

Instead, he keeps his eyes on you, memorizing every detail, every curve of your face and every twitch of your mouth. He's desperate to fill in the gaps in his memory, the details he's lost and the moments that slipped away. He doesn't want to forget again.

Your head is on a swivel as you take in the equipment and clones bustling around the enclosed space inside the temple. It reminds him of your first day, and he can't help but smile. You haven't changed at all.

Echo and Rex are in the command center along with a handful of other clones. They watch as the two of you walk through, their faces showing a range of expressions from surprise to confusion to suspicion. But they say nothing, and Howzer is grateful. He knows how he looks, with his reddened eyes and blotchy cheeks. They’ll no doubt have questions later, but for now, they keep them to themselves.

“What you’ve built here is impressive,” you say as you give a friendly smile to Samson when you pass by. He does a double-take, his gaze moving from your face to your arm wrapped around Howzer's, and back to your face again.

Howzer smiles back and doesn't offer any explanation.

Samson isn't the only one looking. Several of the men stare, and Howzer can't help the small thrill of pride that courses through him at their wide-eyed looks.

It's a silly thought, he knows. He shouldn't feel good about being seen with you, not after everything that's happened. But he can't deny the satisfaction he feels at the thought that the men can see the two of you together again, and he wonders how many of them had guessed about his feelings.

Probably all of them.

"This is it," Howzer says as the two of you stop outside the door to the room he claimed as his own.

It's not much—a single bed, a locker, and a desk—but it's enough. It's a quiet place to escape to when the chaos of the galaxy around him becomes too much, though he hasn't spent much time in it since he arrived.

Howzer steps forward and places his hand on the panel, and the door slides open. He motions for you to enter first, and you do, letting go of his arm as you step into the room.

You take a moment to study your surroundings before your eyes land on the lone chair in the room. Howzer can tell what you're thinking. You're going to offer it to him, and he doesn't want it. He can't imagine sitting right now. His legs still feel like jelly and his whole body is still buzzing from the adrenaline of seeing you.

Instead, Howzer leans against the wall by the door and takes a deep breath, watching as you walk forward to examine his desk, your back to him.

The room is quiet, the only sound the faint buzzing of the lights above them. He can't hear the commotion outside. He can't even hear his own heartbeat. All he can hear is you, your soft, slow breathing and the gentle rustle of fabric as you move.

He hesitates to break the silence, but he has to know.

“How are you—how did you survive?” he asks. How are you alive, he wants to say. You shouldn’t be alive. The words stick in his throat.

You stiffen slightly, but you don't turn around. The latest report on their medical supplies is held loosely in your grasp, and Howzer watches the datapad tremble slightly.

“You truly don’t remember?” you ask softly, dropping the report back onto the desk. You pivot to face him, your back pressing into the metal edge, and he can't read your expression.

He swallows. His throat feels dry, and his heart is pounding in his ears.

No. He doesn’t remember. But he needs to.

He shakes his head, the motion almost imperceptible. “No, I…I remember we were speaking in your quarters. I can’t remember what about. There was an incoming transmission, and then…nothing.”

Whatever he said, it must not have been the right thing. Your eyes close as if in pain, your fists clenching at your sides. You inhale a sharp, shaky breath. The sight is almost enough to make him drop the subject. But the need to know is greater than the guilt.

“Please." He says your name quietly, hating the desperation that creeps into his voice. "I need to know.”

He realizes that he’s never called you by your first name before, at least not to your face. It had always been General. He thinks he likes the sound of it, and the way it makes your eyes fly open, surprise and a little bit of warmth filling their depths.

The seconds drag on as he waits for your response, the tension palpable between you. The longer he stares at you, the more he notices. Your jaw is sharper now, your skin slightly more tan. Your hair is the same, and so are your eyes, but there's a new air of maturity to you that hadn't been there before. He's not sure how he feels about the changes, only that he wishes he had been there to see them happen.

When you finally speak, the words are careful and measured. “I can show you, if you let me.”

"Show me?"

"If I'm allowed, I could—"

"Yes," he says. He doesn’t hesitate. He trusts you, and he needs to know what happened.

"Okay," you say, taking a step toward him. "This may hurt."

A moment of silent understanding passes between you before Howzer nods, steeling himself for whatever revelation awaits. You reach out tentatively, pausing a few inches away, and he closes his eyes.

Your fingers press into his temple, and he’s suddenly thrust back into your quarters on Ryloth.

“You seem upset,” your voice says, wavering as if underwater until the haze of the memory begins to lift around you.

The blurry shape of you comes into sharper focus as you move to sit on your bunk. Your beige robes have been discarded, revealing the sleeveless wrap tunic you wear underneath. Another hot evening on Ryloth meant you'd forgone decorum again, loosening the top to allow airflow to your sweat-slicked skin. He remembers admiring the strong lines of your biceps and valley of your breasts revealed with the motion.

He’s in the memory but not entirely, watching himself from the outside like a specter in the shadows. Howzer watches as he forces himself to look away from your body to stare out the window. He can feel the same tension, the same anxiety that gripped him then. He remembers the argument you had that morning. Remembers the hurt, the pain, the guilt. Remembers wanting to reach out, to hold you, but stopping himself.

“What’s on your mind?”

“You,” he answers honestly, for once. It’s a half-truth that sticks to his tongue. “Is it true that this will all be over soon?”

“I’ve felt it coming for a while now,” you say.

Your eyes drift to your hands, and he turns to watch you lace your fingers together tightly in your lap. “Count Dooku is dead. Obi-Wan has moved to engage General Grievous. Saesee and General Windu are arresting the Chancellor as we speak. The war very well may be over now.”

“I see.”

A sense of fatigue washes over him, and he leans against the wall to prop himself up. He wants to leave, to soak the feeling in while in the silence of his own barracks, but something stronger urges him to stay.

“Permission to speak freely, sir.”

“You always have my permission, Howzer,” you say earnestly. It had taken some getting used to, being addressed so informally. The first few times, he'd had to force himself not to jump to attention every time you called him by name. He quickly started to enjoy the intimacy of it, and the way the sound of his name on your lips made him shiver.

He sighs, rubbing his eyes with the palms of his hands. He doesn't know where to begin. The last few months have been hard, harder than most, and it's left him feeling raw and exhausted. He's never felt so torn before. Part of him is thrilled that the war is ending, but the other part, the larger, selfish part, is terrified.

“What will happen to us?” he asks, turning to look at you. 

Your face is neutral, but he can tell by the set of your jaw that you're tense. The memory of you takes a moment to collect yourself before speaking.

"What do you mean?"

"After the war," he says, trying and failing to keep the edge of panic out of his voice. "What will happen to us?"

“The clones have fought honorably for the Republic. It’s the least we can do to provide for your future,” you reply. “You’ll be given pensions and housing on Coruscant for as long as you all wish. I expect some will continue their roles in reserve, while the rest will be free to choose their own path.”

He nods appreciatively. He has no idea what he would do with such freedom, but he's grateful all the same. The thought of no longer having a purpose terrifies him, but not nearly as much as the thought of losing you.

He should leave it at that, he should thank you and walk away. Howzer is watching the internal battle he faced on that day and screams at himself to leave. He should leave you be, to enjoy the brief respite the two of you are allowed.

But he can't. Not when this could be the last chance he ever gets.

“Thank you. But I…I meant us, sir.” Howzer gestures between the two of you.

Your eyes widen almost imperceptibly, but he can see he’s stunned you. He forges ahead, moving to stare at the wall behind you so he can maintain his courage. “We’ve been together so long, I can barely remember a time without you. Without this. I don't want it to end."

There's a pregnant pause as you struggle for a response, and the fear in the pit of his stomach grows.

“What are you saying?” you ask slowly.

“I’m saying I want more,” he says. He meets your gaze and steps forward, and you rise to your feet at the same time, your tunic fluttering around you.

“Us clones try not to think about the future, but I can't help it. And the only future I want is one with you. That is, if you want that too, sir."

His cheeks are flushed, and his heart is pounding, and he's so nervous. This is the most he's ever confessed, and it feels like the world is crashing down around him, but he means every word.

“Howzer…” Your voice breaks, and it sends a hammer to his heart. “I…I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you feel the same,” he says quickly. Howzer’s hand reaches out to grasp your bicep, thumb caressing the bare skin underneath his glove. He moves closer, and your breath hitches as you lean back, but not away.

Your eyes close, head tilting down. He waits with bated breath for you to say something, anything.

When you look up, your eyes are filled with tears, and his stomach drops. Your voice is so quiet, he can barely hear you.

“I feel afraid.”

It's like the wind has been knocked out of him. He opens his mouth to speak, to question you further, but his vambrace begins to ping, the message marked urgent. Howzer watches himself let go of you and turn to receive the transmission, and he feels like he's drowning.

No! He screams at himself. Don't take the call. He can't breathe, can't think, can't do anything but watch. You can't let this go. If you lose this chance, you'll never have another.

He's frozen, helpless to watch his past play out. You move toward the window to look out at the setting sun as Howzer opens the encrypted message.

“Execute Order 66,” the hooded figure on the holo speaks, its voice graveled and dark. In his memory, Howzer stares down at the projection with wide, unseeing eyes, before he begins to shake. Something is taking over, something he isn’t strong enough to control.

He knows what he must do.

A cold, heavy weight settles in the pit of his stomach, and his mind feels foggy, sluggish. Howzer looks up from the holo, and the room seems to spin. His hands are trembling, and his heart is pounding in his ears. He blinks hard, once, twice, trying to clear the fog, but it won't go away. A wave of nausea hits him, and his head feels like it's about to explode.

"Howzer?"

Your voice is far away, barely a whisper. You turn, your lips parted, brow creased.

He barely has time to get the words out, to fight the fog for just a second. Just one more second.

"Run," he croaks. He watches his eyes glaze over, watches the last remnants of his control slip through his fingers as he turns, drawing his blaster and firing.

You ignite your lightsaber just in time to deflect the shot aimed at your head. Behind the teal blue glow of your blade, your eyes are wide and confused.

“Howzer?” you ask incredulously. Your arms are raised, holding your saber aloft. But your stance is hesitant, your knees bent as if ready to run.

The blaster is in his hand, and it's pointed at you. It's an impossible weight. A weapon made for killing, a weapon he can't use on you. His hand trembles, and he wills himself to throw it, to break it.

But the fog in his mind is too thick, the orders too loud, and his body moves without him. The trigger clicks under his finger again and again. You duck and roll as a bolt goes whizzing over your head, deflecting another into the ceiling. Plaster and dust rain down, clouding the air around you. You cough, covering your nose and mouth with the back of your free hand.

"Howzer, please, it's me!" you cry, raising the hilt of your saber. It's not meant to fight, only to protect. A shield against the bolts that won't stop coming.

He's screaming at you, screaming for you to move, to run away, but the words aren't leaving his mouth. The next bolt grazes your shoulder, tearing your tunic. The pain makes you cry out. Howzer can see the wound, red and angry against your skin.

He hears the sound of footsteps and voices getting closer outside the door, but he’s too occupied with the need to fire his blaster to acknowledge them. Howzer’s mind screams that he’s trapped alone with a traitor to the Republic, a burning hatred he’s never felt propelling him forward to attack.

The small voice inside him begging him not to hurt you is silenced for good when an unseen force rips the weapon from his hand. His arm is held aloft above his head, and he struggles like an animal in a trap to free it.

His eyes are wide and feral. Yours are nothing but pleading.

"Please," you beg. "You're stronger than this. I know you are. I can't hurt you."

"Traitor," he spits, struggling against the invisible bonds. "You'll die a traitor."

There are tears streaming down your face now, and he can see the agony in your eyes. The anguish and pain. But also a strength, a determination he's seen many times.

Fists are pounding on the door, and it tears your attention away from him for a moment too long. Howzer’s arm frees itself, and he wastes no time reaching for the blaster carbine on his back. Your eyes snap back to him, and you quickly hold out both hands to push him back into the wall.

Even during training, you were remarkably gentle with your use of the Force. Howzer had seen you throw boulders and pull tanks with your command of the unseen energy field, but he’d never felt more than a soft touch until that day.

But in this memory, you hurl him across the room with the force of a landslide, knocking the breath clear from his lungs, his head slamming hard enough to crack the duracrete.

He tries to stand, but he can't.

His arms won't work, and his legs are leaden, refusing to respond. He's helpless as he watches you raise your arm, your eyes filled with sorrow. He's powerless as you reach out and touch your fingers to his temple.

A warmth emanates from your fingertips, and Howzer feels the pressure in his skull building, building, until—

The memory vanishes, and Howzer finds himself back in his own quarters, slumped against the wall. You're still there, standing a few steps away. You have your arms crossed tightly, your jaw clenched.

Howzer can feel his head pounding, a throbbing phantom pain where it had struck the wall. He raises his fingers to rub his temples.

It's quiet. There's no pounding on the door, no gunfire. Just the two of you.

"So it's true. I almost killed you."

You flinch. It's so subtle, he wouldn't have noticed it if he hadn't been looking for it.

"You didn't," you say.

He shakes his head. "I didn't? It looked pretty fucking close. You did that—" He motions vaguely toward the door. "—to stop me."

"To stop myself," you correct. "You didn't have a choice. I couldn't hurt you."

Howzer's jaw clenches, and his throat feels tight. The memory is still fresh in his mind, and the feelings it elicited are not ones he'd like to relive. The shame, the fear, the guilt.

"But I did," he says. His voice is low, and his tone is grave. "I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry, too," you whisper, your voice barely audible. You look away from him, and your shoulders droop. "I didn't know. If I'd known the clones had been reprogrammed, I would have tried to find a way to reverse it. To bring you back. All of you."

You sniff, wiping your eyes, and Howzer feels his chest ache. You're blaming yourself. Of course you are.

"Howzer, if there's anything I can do—"

"Don't apologize," he says. His voice is stronger now, and he's glad. He's tired of being weak. Having you here is a reminder of everything he's done wrong, but also of what he could have. What he wants. He straightens, pulling himself away from the wall and standing upright.

"You saved my life. You didn't know what was going to happen. No one did. And even if you had, it would have been too late."

Your brows knit together, and you look back at him. Your lower lip trembles. "How can you forgive me?"

Howzer doesn't know how to answer that. He's not sure there is an answer. Instead, he walks forward, slowly, as if approaching a skittish animal. You look so small, so vulnerable, and he hates it. He can see the worry in your eyes, the guilt. It's the same worry and guilt he's seen in the mirror every day since the war ended.

He's only a step away when he stops, leaving enough space between the two of you that you could walk away if you wanted. But you don't, and the look in your eyes is enough to make him reach out. He wipes a tear from your cheek, and the corner of your mouth twitches.

"How can you forgive me?" he asks instead.

"Because you were doing your duty. Because I care about you. Because I missed you," you say.

"I missed you, too."

You're so close, close enough to touch, and Howzer can't resist the urge. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you into a hug, letting the tension ease from his body. You lean into his embrace, and he rests his chin on top of your head, closing his eyes and savoring the feeling of having you back.

He's not sure how long the two of you stand there, lost in the embrace, but eventually, you pull away. Howzer reluctantly lets go, dropping his arms back to his sides. You look up at him, and the smile on your face makes his stomach flip.

"What you said," you start, swallowing. "That night. Did you mean it?"

He doesn't have to think.

"Yes."

Your breath hitches, and your eyes search his, seeking something. He knows what it is, and it scares him. The last time he laid his heart bare for you, he’d lost everything. But he's spent too much time living in the past. Too much time wishing things were different, regretting the choices he made.

He doesn't want to do that anymore.

"I meant it then, and I still mean it now."

"Really?"

"I do."

He reaches out and takes your hand, lifting it to his lips.

You bite your lip. He can tell you're nervous, and he feels the same. His stomach is fluttering, and his heart is racing. The moment seems surreal, too good to be true.

But he can feel the warmth of your palm in his, can feel the softness of your skin.

"I missed you," he says softly.

"I missed you, too."

Your words are barely a whisper, but they echo in his mind. He can't resist any longer.

"I want to kiss you,” he admits, his voice low. He runs his thumb over the back of your hand, and your skin tingles beneath his touch. "Can I kiss you?"

"Yes," you whisper.

He leans down, pressing his forehead against yours. Your eyes flutter shut, and your breath tickles his lips. He can't resist any longer.

Howzer tilts his head and closes the gap between you.

It's slow, tentative, and he's terrified. But when you melt into him, and your lips part against his, all of his fears and doubts are forgotten.

You're real. You're here, with him.

Your hand grips his armor as you kiss him back, and the world falls away. All that matters is you, and him, and this moment.

He feels whole.

The kiss is long and lingering. It's slow, and sweet, and everything he could have ever hoped for. Your hand finds its way to the back of his neck, and your fingers play with the short hair there. His own hands roam over your waist and back, mapping out the lines of your body.

He feels you shift onto your toes, pressing against him and pulling him closer, and his heart soars. He can't imagine wanting anything more than this, than the taste of your lips on his, the feel of your body pressed against his.

When the two of you finally part, his lips are tingling, and he can't help but chase yours for another quick peck before he pulls back. You're breathless, and your cheeks are flushed, and he feels his chest swell, his hands tightening around your waist.

He never wants to let go.

"I love you," he whispers, his voice cracking. He doesn't want to ruin the moment, but he needs you to know. He needs you to hear the words, the sincerity behind them. "I think I always have."

"I love you, too," you say, and it's like the sun coming out after a storm. "I didn't realize until it was too late, but I love you. I don't think I've ever stopped."

His heart swells at the words. He can't believe his ears, can't believe he's hearing you say them. His throat is thick, and his eyes burn, and he blinks back the tears.

Howzer pulls you close, burying his face in your hair and breathing in deeply as his arms wrap around you. He holds you tightly, and you cling to him just as fiercely.

"Stay," he murmurs into your hair, the words barely audible. "Please."

He can feel the way your muscles tense. You pull back, just enough to look at him. "What?"

"Stay," he repeats, looking into your eyes. "With us. With me."

He watches you blink, the surprise evident on your face. He realizes what he's asking of you. How much of a risk it is. You could be killed or taken prisoner by the Empire, and he's asking you to put your life in the hands of the very people who tried to kill you.

But he has to try.

"Howzer, I—I can't. It's too dangerous. If I'm caught—"

"I won't let anything happen to you. I promise." He reaches up and cradles your face in his hand, brushing his thumb across your cheek. "Please. I've lost you once. I can't lose you again."

Your eyes search his, and he can see the doubt, the fear. He's never begged anyone for anything before, but he'll beg for you. He'll do whatever it takes.

"Please," he says, his voice cracking. "I need you."

"Howzer," you say, but he can tell you're weakening. Your eyes are watery, and your brow is furrowed.

"I can't do this without you. I can't—I don't want to do this without you."

Your shoulders drop, and your head tilts slightly into his touch. You cover his hand with yours, squeezing gently. You sigh, and his heart sinks. He’s prepared to hear a no. To lose you once more, only this time, willingly. He watches as you take a deep breath, steadying yourself.

"Okay," you say softly.

He's speechless. For a moment, the word doesn't register. He's too afraid to hope.

"Okay?"

You nod. "I'll stay. If you'll have me."

He can't help the broad grin that spreads across his face, and he pulls you close, his arms wrapping around you and lifting you off the ground. You squeak, but you laugh, and the sound fills him with joy. He spins, hugging you tight as you giggle into his neck.

He's elated, and he can't hold back the laugh that bubbles up from his chest. He feels light, like a weight has been lifted from his shoulders. As soon as your feet touch the ground he's kissing you again, cupping your face and tasting the smile on your lips.

He loves you. You love him. You're staying.

The thought is so incredible, so wonderful, that he can't stop kissing you, and you don't seem to mind. He pours all his emotions, all his love, into each brush of his lips, hoping that you can feel everything he's feeling, hoping that you understand how much this means to him.

He thinks you must.

Your arms wrap around his shoulders, pulling him close. His hands drift down to your waist, and his thumbs brush against the skin where your tunic has ridden up. He kisses you deeper, and the moan that escapes your lips sends a bolt of heat straight through him.

His heart is pounding, and he can't get enough of you. His tongue brushes against your bottom lip, and you part your lips for him, letting him taste you. The kiss grows deeper, hungrier, and his grip on you tightens, drawing you flush against him.

One of your hands moves to his chest, the other threading through his hair. Your touch sets him on fire, and he can feel himself straining against the confines of his armor. He doesn't know how far this is going, but he can't stop, can't bring himself to pull away.

Not when your teeth sink into his lower lip, or your nails scrape against his scalp. Not when you arch into him, your soft chest pressing into his chestplate. Not when his hands explore your body, mapping out every curve and dip, every muscle and bone.

His tongue brushes against yours, and he moans. He wants more, so much more. He's lost in you, and he doesn't want to find his way back.

"Tell me to stop," he says, his voice rough. His lips move to your jaw, and he trails kisses down your neck, the taste of you intoxicating.

 The room spins, and Howzer finds himself pressed against the wall, the cold duracrete sending a shiver down his spine. Your hands are gripping the edge of his chest plate, and your lips are hot and demanding. You bite his lower lip, tugging at it, and his eyes flutter shut.

"No." Your voice is husky, and the sound goes straight to his cock. "Don't stop."

His heart leaps into his throat, and his hands grip your waist, pulling you closer. "I want you."

"I'm yours."

The words are a balm on his soul, healing wounds he didn't know he had. He can't get enough, can't stop kissing you. He nearly whines when you break away from his mouth, but the disappointment is short-lived when your lips move to his neck. He gasps, the sensation of your hot mouth and wet tongue overwhelming.

Your hands trail down his body, and his fingers dig into your hips.

"I love you," he moans. His head falls back, and his eyes flutter shut. His entire body is on fire, and the sound of your lips smacking against his neck only adds fuel to the flames. "Fuck, I love you."

You hum against his skin, and he bites back a groan.

"I love you," you whisper, the words ghosting over his neck. "I need you.”

It's all he can take.

His hands reach under your ass and lift, and you wrap your legs around his waist. The kiss is sloppy and uncoordinated, and his teeth clack against yours as he spins and presses you against the wall. You grind against his codpiece, and he breaks the kiss, hissing.

"You're so kriffing beautiful," he groans, his voice ragged. "You drive me crazy."

You're panting, and your cheeks are flushed, and he feels his cock twitch at the sight.

"I missed you," you say again. "I needed you."

He doesn't want to admit how close to home those words hit.

"I'm here now." His voice is rough, and his hands are gripping your hips tightly. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Good," you say, before pulling him back into another kiss.

It's hard and messy and desperate. You're both clinging to each other like your lives depend on it, and it's almost painful, the need that's taken root inside him. He's wanted you for so long, and now that he's here, with you in his arms, he can't get enough. He can't stop.

You pull back, and his head tilts up to chase your lips. He's dizzy with lust and want, his breathing shallow.

"Howzer, can we—" Your voice is breathless, and your eyes are wild.

He nods, understanding immediately.

He kisses you hard, and he can feel your hands fumbling for the clasps on his chestplate. He doesn't want to let go, doesn't want to lose the contact between the two of you, but he does, if only to help you.

It's not long before the heavy plastoid is removed, tossed haphazardly onto the floor. You waste no time, moving on to his greaves. You're so close, your scent clouding his mind, and his skin prickles beneath the intensity of your gaze. If he wasn’t so dizzy with want, he’d be amused at how focused you are, the way your brows are furrowed and your bottom lip caught between your teeth. But he can't think straight, can barely even breathe.

The pieces fall to the floor, and the sound echoes through the quiet room. By the time his bracers are removed, he's already shaking. He can't help it. It's been so long, and the desire coursing through his veins is threatening to overwhelm him.

He pulls at the laces on your tunic, loosening them enough that he can tug the material down. He leans down, trailing kisses down the newly exposed skin. Your breath hitches, and his name is a sigh on your lips. He smiles against your collarbone, nipping lightly before he sucks a mark into the flesh.

"Kriff," you gasp, your hips jerking forward. "Howzer."

The sound of his name sends a jolt of electricity down his spine, and he moans. He pulls back to lift your tunic over your head, discarding it somewhere behind him. You're bare except for your breastband, and his eyes rake over your body, taking in the sight of you, mapping the scars and curves and dips. Most of them he's seen before, the few times you were injured during the war, but the new ones, the ones he doesn't know, they're more than he can handle.

He reaches out, tentatively running his fingers over a blaster burn on your stomach, and the skin jumps underneath his touch.

"Is this okay?" he asks.

"Yes," you say, nodding.

He runs his palm over the scar, tracing its edges. The flesh is puckered and pink, and he knows it's a wound that could have killed you. It’s one he should have been there to prevent.

"Does it hurt?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

You shake your head. "Not anymore."

He traces the scar, committing it to memory. There are others, some fresher, some older, and his eyes follow his fingers, touching each and every one.

When he's done, he meets your gaze. Your eyes are wide, and your lips are parted, and he feels his chest tighten. You're so beautiful. So perfect. And you're here, with him.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"I'm fine," he says, shaking his head. "Better than fine. You?”

"Me too."

His hands move to your back, finding the clasp of your breastband and releasing it. He holds his breath as the band comes loose, and his eyes drop down to take in the sight of your bare chest. His cock twitches in his pants, and he has to stifle a groan.

"Beautiful," he murmurs, reaching out and brushing his fingers against your breast. "Absolutely perfect."

His calloused thumb scrapes against your nipple, and it hardens instantly. Your breath hitches, and he feels his pulse quicken. He wants to hear the sounds you make, wants to know what his touch does to you.

He leans down, and his lips replace his fingers. His mouth closes around your nipple, his tongue flicking against the stiff peak. You gasp, and he feels a surge of satisfaction. His free hand squeezes your other breast, rolling the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Your body arches into him, and your breathy sighs turn into moans.

He's intoxicated by the sounds you're making, by the way your body responds to his touch. He can’t get enough, and he sucks harder, teasing your nipple with his tongue. Your hands are gripping his shoulders, and your hips are bucking into his, searching for friction.

You're so sensitive, and his head is spinning. He doesn't know how long he spends teasing and torturing you, but it's not long enough. When he finally releases your breast with a pop, you're panting, and your skin is flushed.

“Armor off,” you growl, and he chuckles.

"Yes, sir," he says, unable to hide the amusement in his voice. He reaches down and tugs at his boot, and you slide down the wall. The look in your eyes makes him shiver.

"I'm not your General anymore."

"No, but I'm still your loyal soldier," he says. It’s meant to be a joke, but it comes out more serious than he intended.

You smirk, and the expression sends a jolt of heat straight to his cock.

"Then get to it, soldier."

He raises an eyebrow, and if he wasn’t so turned on, he might be embarrassed by how fast he rips off his remaining armor, his fingers fumbling at the clasps. When he's finished, you're grinning, and his heart skips a beat. He whips the top half of his blacks off, tossing it onto the floor, and before he can register what's happening, you've wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep, passionate kiss.

The feeling of your bare chest against his sends a bolt of heat through him, and his hands find their way back to your waist, pulling you closer. You moan into his mouth, and his cock throbs.

He's so distracted by the feeling of your lips and tongue and hands that he barely registers the tugging on his waistband. Not until his blacks are sliding down his hips, exposing his hard length to the cool air of the room.

"Kriff," he hisses, breaking the kiss. "You're gonna be the death of me."

"Hopefully not," you murmur, nipping his lower lip.

"Well, you're sure making it hard."

You look down, and your lips curl into a wicked grin. He feels his cock twitch, and a drop of precome beads at the tip.

"Hard?" you ask innocently.

He groans, leaning his head against yours. "You're awful."

"I know." You reach down and take his cock in your hand, stroking it gently. He can't help but moan. "But I think you like it."

"Kriff," he curses, biting back another groan. "I love it."

He closes his eyes, and your thumb brushes over the head, spreading the slickness around. His breath hitches, and he can feel the pleasure coiling low in his belly. You're so good at this, and he's already so close, and when you sink to your knees and look up at him through those long lashes, his brain short-circuits.

You grip his cock firmly, and he sucks in a sharp breath, bracing his forearm against the wall. You lean in, and your lips brush against his stomach, kissing the soft skin just below his navel. He trembles.

"Relax," you whisper, pressing another kiss to his abdomen.

“Fuck," he groans. "Don't tell me to relax."

He's so wound up, so on edge, his whole body is tingling. Your tongue darts out, and you lick a hot stripe up his cock, and his hips buck involuntarily. You smile, and his eyes flutter shut, his chest heaving.

Your mouth is warm and wet, and you wrap your lips around the head, swirling your tongue over the slit. His eyes squeeze shut, and his breathing grows ragged.

You begin to bob your head, slowly taking him deeper and deeper with each pass. When he hits the back of your throat, you hum, and his knees nearly give out.

"Fucking hell," Howzer moans, his voice cracking. His head falls forward, and his forehead rests against his forearm. His eyes are closed, and his mouth is open, and he's trying desperately to hold back the embarrassing sounds that threaten to escape.

You pull back, and the cold air against his saliva-slick cock makes him shiver. Your hand is still working him, pumping his shaft, and his balls tighten. He can feel his orgasm building, his whole body tensing, and it's too soon, much too soon, and he needs to slow down.

"Stop, stop, stop," he chants, pulling away from you. He's so close, so painfully close, and he can't stand the thought of finishing before he even gets inside you.

You pull away, looking up at him with confusion. "Why?"

"Because if you don't, I'm going to come," he manages, his voice hoarse.

You smile wickedly. "Is that so?"

"Yes."

"And what if I want you to?" You hum, your fingers teasing the tip of his cock. It’s the lightest touch, but it makes him jump. He closes his eyes, trying to compose himself. He's never been this close to losing control so fast, and he doesn't want to embarrass himself.

"Please," he begs, his voice a choked whisper. "Not like this. Not yet."

The teasing expression on your face melts into something softer, and you rise to your feet, wrapping your arms around his neck and kissing him. He tastes himself on your tongue, and it only turns him on more.

"Alright," you murmur against his lips, your breath hot. "How do you want me?"

He feels the question like a punch to the gut, and his mouth goes dry. "I—um—"

"Howzer," you say softly, nipping his bottom lip. "Don't make me order you."

His eyes fly open, and his cock twitches. The image of you ordering him around, telling him what to do, how to fuck you—

"Howzer."

He's so fucked.

"Bed," he says, his voice a low growl. "Now."

The corner of your mouth quirks, and you raise an eyebrow. "That's not an answer."

He swallows and reaches down, trailing his fingers along the seam of your trousers. Your eyes flutter shut, and a breathy sigh escapes your lips. He watches you, and he can see the way your chest is heaving, the flush that creeps down your neck. It gives him the confidence to continue.

"I want you to take these off," he breathes. “And I want you on your back.”

"Yes, sir," you say, a teasing smile on your lips.

His heart lurches. "Oh, now you listen to me."

"Maybe I like when you're in charge," you purr.

He can't help the groan that escapes him.

Your hands slide down his chest, and you walk away, turning your back to him as you loosen the ties to your trousers. You make a show of sliding them down your legs, bending at the waist, and he nearly chokes when your underwear slides off, too.

"Kriff," he mumbles, his eyes glued to your ass.

You straighten and toss him a coy look over your shoulder, and he's helpless, completely and utterly enraptured.

"Like what you see?"

"Always," he replies, his voice low.

He can't stop himself from reaching out, his hand running up the smooth skin of your thigh. But you dance out of his grasp, laughing.

"Not so fast," you tease.

He growls, a sound that rumbles in his chest. "Don't be a tease."

"What's the matter, Captain?" you ask, stepping towards the bed. "Getting impatient?"

Howzer lets out a laugh of disbelief. He's beyond frustrated, he's already the most desperate he's ever been. Usually he’d play along with your games, but right now, he needs you, and he can't stand the thought of waiting another minute.

"Yes," he says, his voice rough. "Now get on the fucking bed."

You raise an eyebrow, a small smile playing at the corners of your lips. "Yes, sir."

You move, and in one fluid motion, you're laying down on the bed. You spread your legs, inviting him, and he nearly passes out. You look like every fantasy he's ever had, laid out for him, waiting for him.

"Like this?"

"Yes," he groans, his voice cracking.

"Come here, then," you say, your tone seductive.

He can see how wet you are, how ready you are for him. It makes his head spin, his heart race. He wants to taste you, to bury his face between your legs. But the ache in his cock is too strong, the need to feel you overwhelming. He has to take a deep breath before he approaches, afraid his legs won't work.

"What are you waiting for?" you ask.

"Just...taking in the view,” he replies, his voice low and rough. He tries to meet your eyes, but he can't stop staring at the apex of your thighs, at your glistening pussy, begging for him.

You giggle, a sound he's never heard from you before, and he decides right then and there that it's his new favorite sound.

"So poetic," you tease.

"I can be," he retorts, trying to play along even though all his blood is currently rushing south.

"Come on," you say. "Don't make me wait any longer."

He's never been able to deny you.

Howzer steps forward, and before you can register his movements, he's kneeling on the bed between your legs, his hands gripping your thighs. He's not gentle as he pushes them further apart, baring you to him. 

"Oh," you gasp.

He smirks, and his eyes rake over your body as he settles himself between your legs. He takes a moment to memorize the sight of you, your hair splayed out on the pillow, your flushed skin, the way your chest rises and falls with every breath. 

"Fuck," he mutters, his voice barely a whisper. "I'm going to enjoy this."

"Please," you whimper, your hips bucking. The sound of it wakes him from his stupor, and he grips your thighs tighter, his thumbs pressing into the sensitive flesh.

"What was that?"

You bite your lip and look away, but he can see the heat in your cheeks, the way your breathing is heavy.

"I said please," you repeat, turning your gaze back to him.

His smirk widens. "I couldn't quite hear you," he teases, his fingertips grazing the outside of your folds. He can feel how wet you are, how hot, and it makes his head spin.

You whine, and your hips buck against his hand. "Please, Howzer."

The sound of his name on your lips is like music, and he can't resist any longer.

Howzer leans down and presses a hot, wet kiss to your inner thigh. You gasp, and he sucks a mark into the skin, his tongue flicking out to soothe the sting. He repeats the process on the other leg, leaving a matching mark, and your body writhes beneath him. He pulls back, admiring his handiwork.

"You look good like this," he says, his voice a low rumble.

"You're a menace," you huff.

He chuckles and runs a finger along the length of your folds, gathering the slick that's pooled there. "That's not a very nice thing to say."

"You're not being very ni—ah!" Your words turn into a gasp when he dips his head, his tongue dragging through your folds, the taste of you coating his tongue. He feels you tremble, and your hand tangles in his hair. He loves the way you grip him, and the soft sound of his name spurs him on.

Howzer moves to your clit, his tongue circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your hips arch off the bed, and he has to use his forearm to keep you down, his hand splayed across your stomach. He slides two fingers inside you, curling them and rubbing the spot he knows will make you moan.

He's rewarded by the sound of his name, your breathy cries filling the room. He works you hard and fast, his tongue and fingers relentless. You're soaking wet, and he can't believe how hot and tight you are around his fingers.

"I've dreamed of this," he growls, his lips brushing against your clit.

"Really?"

He nods, and the movement causes his stubble to scrape against your skin. "Mhm. Ever since we first met.”

You let out a laugh, but it quickly turns into a moan when his fingers hit the right spot. "I-is that so?"

"Yes," he says, curling his fingers and pressing hard. "All those years fighting beside you, and I could barely control myself. It was torture."

You keen, your pussy clenching around his fingers, and he can't help but chuckle.

"I used to think about all the things I'd do if I ever got the chance."

"I thought about it too," you pant.

He looks up, surprised. The motions of his hand stutter, but he regains his composure, picking up the pace and making you gasp. "You did?"

You nod, and he watches your face, your eyes closed, your brows furrowed.

"What did you think about?"

"This," you breathe. "How you'd feel, how you'd taste, how you'd make me come."

The admission sends a jolt through him, and he moans against your clit, the vibrations making you writhe. He doubles his efforts, and his tongue draws patterns across your sensitive flesh. Your thighs tense around his head, and he feels the way you tighten around his fingers.

"I thought about you fucking me," you continue, and his eyes flutter shut. "About you filling me up and making me scream."

He can't help the noise he makes, a low, desperate groan. His cock throbs, aching for relief, and he knows he can't wait much longer. He needs you to come, needs to feel you come undone beneath him.

He can feel you getting closer, the way your breathing gets shallower, the way your muscles begin to tense. You're panting his name, and your hips are rolling, and he can tell you're close, so close.

“I’ll do whatever you want, sweetheart," he growls, the words muffled against your skin. "Just let go. Come for me."

The pet name seems to do the trick, and a string of curses spills from your lips as your body convulses, your cunt clenching and spasming around his fingers. Your hands grip his hair, tugging painfully at the roots, and he can't find it in himself to care. He keeps pumping, drawing out your orgasm until you're writhing, begging for mercy.

When you're finally spent, he pulls back, resting his cheek on your inner thigh. He can't stop looking at you, can't stop drinking in the sight of you, flushed and satisfied. You're the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, and his chest feels so full, so complete.

"Well?" he asks.

"What?"

"Was it everything you imagined?"

Your face breaks into a smile, and you shake your head, laughing. "It was better."

"Good," he says, kissing the inside of your thigh. He slowly withdraws his fingers, and his lips find your clit again, sucking gently and licking up the fresh wave of slick.

You moan, and your hands fall from his hair to the sheets, clutching at them. He can't get enough, can't stop tasting you. He could spend hours between your thighs, and it wouldn't be enough.

"Howzer," you sigh.

"You taste good," he mumbles, not bothering to pull his lips away from your cunt.

"Come here," you plead. "I want you."

"I am here."

"No," you laugh. "I want you inside me."

"Is that an order?" he asks, teasingly.

"It is," you reply.

"Then I better follow it."

Howzer is on top of you in an instant, his lips finding yours. You moan at the taste of yourself on his tongue, and he groans, his hips bucking against yours. His cock is pressed against your slit, and you're so wet, and it would be so easy to slip inside. He can't stand the thought of waiting any longer.

He reaches between your bodies, and you feel him lining up, the blunt head of his cock teasing your entrance. He pulls back, breaking the kiss and resting his forehead against yours.

"Ready?" he asks.

"Always."

The word fills his heart with warmth, and he can't stop the smile that spreads across his face.

He's still smiling when he pushes inside, and his grin only grows wider at the feeling of your tight, wet heat around him. He has to fight the urge to come right then and there, and his hands grip your hips hard enough to bruise.

"Kriff," he gasps.

"Don't stop," you pant, your eyes screwed shut.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

He thrusts in deeper, sinking another inch, and the noise that escapes your lips is the hottest thing he's ever heard. He does it again, and again, and before he knows it, he's fully sheathed inside you, his cock stretching you open, his hips flush against yours.

"Sweetheart," he breathes, the nickname coming out almost unbidden. "You feel so good."

Your hands are wrapped around his neck, and your eyes are screwed shut. Your brow is furrowed, and your mouth is hanging open, and he can't tear his eyes away.

"I—" he starts, but the words die in his throat. He can't find the right ones, can't articulate the depth of his feelings for you. So instead, he presses a soft kiss to your forehead, and then another, to the tip of your nose.

You look up at him, and the expression in your eyes is so tender, so full of affection, that his heart skips a beat.

"I love you," he whispers, the words escaping him without thought.

"I love you, too."

His heart soars, and he can't help but lean down and kiss you, his lips crashing into yours. It's a messy, passionate kiss, full of heat and need and love. You cling to him, and he loses himself in the feeling of you, of your arms and legs and mouth. He sets a slow pace, his hips moving in shallow, lazy thrusts.

You break the kiss, gasping for air, and he takes the opportunity to hooks his hands underneath your knees, bringing them up and bending you in half.

"What—" you start, but your question is cut off by a moan as he thrusts deeper, the angle changing and his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you.

"Oh," you gasp.

"You like that?"

You nod, your eyes closing, and he grins. His movements are languid, and you're so wet, and it's the best thing he's ever felt, the feeling of your tight cunt wrapped around his cock.

"So do I," he says, leaning forward to press a kiss to the side of your knee. "Feels so good, sweetheart. So kriffing good."

"Howzer," you murmur, the word a sigh.

He hums in response, and the feeling of it vibrates through his chest, his mouth still pressed against your knee. You shiver.

"You feel amazing," he says, his voice low and husky. "I can't believe how good you feel."

"Howzer," you groan, your hips bucking, the movement causing him to slide in even deeper on each thrust. "Harder."

"You want me to fuck you harder?"

"Please," you beg, your voice a whine.

"Fuck," he swears. "Yes, sir."

He pulls back and sets a new, punishing pace. He can't stop the noises that escape him, and his balls slap against your ass as he fucks you, the sound obscene. He's so close, but he needs you to come again, needs to feel you squeeze his cock, hear his name fall from your lips as you climax.

"Look at me," he orders.

You do, and the sight of your eyes, wild and dark with desire, is almost enough to push him over the edge. But he holds back, determined to make you come.

He wedges a hand between your thighs, his thumb finding your clit and rubbing tight circles. Your breath catches, and your cunt clenches around him, the rhythmic tightening sending him spiraling closer to the edge.

"Come for me," he groans, and he can't believe he's begging, but he is, and he doesn't care. "Please, sweetheart, come for me."

The pressure of his fingers and the sound of his voice are enough, and you shudder, crying out his name as your cunt spasms around him.

It's too much. He's been on edge for so long, and it's impossible to resist any longer. Before he can stop himself, he's coming, his hips stuttering as he spills inside you, his cock pulsing as his balls empty themselves, coating your walls. He can feel his release dripping out, leaking down his shaft, and the thought of it is so filthy, so hot, that he nearly blacks out.

"Fuck," he gasps, his head falling forward. He's shaking, his body wracked with the force of his release. It feels like every single nerve in his body is on fire, and his vision is blurred, and the only thing keeping him tethered to reality is the feeling of your hands in his hair, gently massaging his scalp.

When his body finally stops trembling, he opens his eyes, and you're looking up at him, a smile playing on your lips.

"Hi," you say softly.

"Hey," he replies, his voice hoarse. He looks down and sees the mess between your thighs, his cock and your folds coated in his release. He groans. "Sorry, I—I should have asked if you were okay with that."

"It's fine," you reassure him, your hand stroking his hair. "It was good. Really good."

"I'll pull out," he mumbles, leaning down and kissing you.

"Wait," you say, and the sound is muffled against his lips. "Not yet."

"Okay," he whispers, pulling back.

"I just want to feel you for a little longer."

The words make his heart ache, and he leans down to capture your lips in another kiss, softer this time. Your legs fall from his shoulders, and they wrap around his waist, keeping him close.

"How's that?" he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

"Perfect," you murmur, running your hands down his back.

He presses his forehead against yours, and he closes his eyes, focusing on the feeling of you. The two of you stay like that for a few moments, neither of you wanting to move.

Finally, he pulls away, and the soft, disappointed noise you make sends a jolt through him.

"It's alright, sweetheart," he soothes. "Just trying to find something to clean us up."

You groan and bury your face in the pillow, and the sight is so endearing, he can't help but lean down and kiss the corner of your mouth.

"I'll be right back," he says, reluctantly untangling himself from your limbs.

"Fine," you huff, and the pout on your lips is adorable.

He climbs off the bed and walks to the 'fresher, and when he returns, you're propped up on one elbow, watching him. Your gaze is focused on his softening cock, and his cheeks heat up.

"Like what you see?" he asks, echoing your words from earlier.

You raise an eyebrow and smirk. "Always."

The blush deepens, and he clears his throat. He makes his way back to the bed, and he cleans up the mess that's leaking out of you, wiping up his spend. When he's finished cleaning both of you, he tosses the cloth to the floor and climbs into the bed, pulling the blankets up and tucking the two of you in.

"That's better," you sigh, curling up next to him.

Howzer wraps his arm around your shoulder, and you nestle into the crook of his arm. He rests his cheek on the top of your head, and the two of you lie in silence, enjoying each other's presence.

"I love you," you say softly, after a few minutes.

"I love you, too."

Your hand rests on his chest, and your fingers trace the planes of his muscles. He shivers, and he can't suppress the grin that spreads across his face. He feels like his heart might burst.

"So," you say, after a while. "How long have you been holding onto that?"

He snorts, and his arm tightens around you. "How long ago was that day on Kamino?"

"What?" you ask, surprise evident in your voice. You sit up and look at him, and he's pleased to see the blush that stains your cheeks. "You're kidding."

He shakes his head, his gaze fixed on the ceiling. "Nope. That's when I knew."

"Howzer!"

"What?"

"That was...that was ages ago," you stammer, and the way you can't seem to get your words out makes him chuckle.

"Yeah, well," he shrugs. "What can I say? I'm a romantic."

"Well, I'm sorry it took me so long," you murmur, laying your head back on his chest.

"It's alright," he says, his hand finding yours and lacing his fingers through yours. "You're worth the wait."

"So are you."

He closes his eyes and presses a kiss to the top of your head. He can feel his eyelids getting heavy, and the weight of your body is comforting. The steady rhythm of your breathing is soothing, and before long, his consciousness begins to slip away.

The last thing he hears is the sound of your voice, sleepy and content.

"I love you, Howzer."

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

He drifts off to sleep, and the last thing he feels is the press of your lips against his chest, just above his heart.

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[louisaskywalkerani]

Whispers in the Dark, forbidden embrace.

Pairing : Anakin Skywalker x f!Reader

synopsis : anakin reassures you about your forbidden relationship in more ways than one.

CW : 18+, smut! minors DNI. no movement but, p in v penetration, cock warming.

an : ok this is my first fanfic i've ever written, i'm completely petrified tbh, i tried to do my best, if u can give me some advice, it would be super nice. enjoy this ig.. the end is also inspired by @ohcaptains !!

The dim lighting in the temple corridor casts long shadows. Anakin's footsteps echo softly as he approaches you, a determined look in his eyes. You've been avoiding him, knowing the danger of your connection. Tonight, there's no escape.

"Anakin, we shouldn't be here," you whisper, your voice trembling with the weight of unspoken emotions.

He steps closer, his presence overwhelming. "We can’t keep pretending, not anymore," he replies, his voice husky. "The Council doesn’t understand what we feel."

You look into his eyes, seeing the conflict mirrored in your own. "What if we're caught? The Council—"

"Screw the Council," he interrupts, his hands gently cupping your face. "I need you. We both know this is more than a fleeting desire."

Your breath hitches as his thumb brushes over your lips. "Anakin, we're risking everything."

"Some things are worth the risk," he murmurs, leaning in. His lips capture yours in a kiss that speaks of months of longing and suppressed passion. The kiss deepens, and you feel the warmth of his body against yours, his heartbeat pounding in sync with your own.

Breaking the kiss, he rests his forehead against yours. "Tell me you don’t feel the same, and I'll walk away."

You close your eyes, the truth undeniable. "I can’t," you admit softly. "I’ve tried, but I can’t."

With a relieved sigh, Anakin wraps his arms around you, holding you close. "Then let’s not fight it anymore."

—

The night is serene, stars twinkling above as if to guard your secret. Anakin spreads his cloak on the ground, inviting you to sit beside him. “Remember when we first met?” he asks, his voice a soft murmur.

You smile, the memory clear in your mind. “You were so arrogant,” you tease. “I thought you’d never take anything seriously.”

Anakin chuckles, his hand finding yours. “And you were so serious. Always following the rules.”

A comfortable silence settles between you, the bond deepening with shared memories. You both lie down on the cloak, looking up at the stars. "I used to think the stars held our destiny," you say, your voice barely audible.

"They still do," Anakin replies, his fingers intertwining with yours. "But we can choose our path."

The quiet of the night is broken only by the soft sounds of the temple gardens. Anakin turns to you, his eyes reflecting the starlight. "Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we didn't have to hide?" he asks, his voice tinged with sadness.

"All the time," you admit. "But the life we've chosen doesn't allow for what-ifs."

Anakin's grip tightens around your hand. "We could leave. Start a new life, far from here. No rules, no codes, just us."

You look at him, the sincerity in his eyes making your heart ache. "And what of our duties? Our responsibilities?"

"We've given enough," he says fiercely. "Isn't it time we lived for ourselves?"

The temptation is strong, the vision of a life with Anakin almost too beautiful to resist. But the weight of your commitments anchors you. "I don’t know if I can."

Anakin sighs, pulling you closer. "I can't lose you," he whispers. "Not now, not ever."

"You won't," you promise, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "We'll find a way to make this work."

The night stretches on, filled with whispered words and tender touches. As dawn approaches, you both lie entwined, the weight of your choices pressing down but the warmth of your connection offering solace. For now, in this moment, you are together, and that’s all that matters.

You lay there, enveloped in the warmth of each other’s embrace. The temple gardens, usually so serene and quiet, now seem to pulsate with the forbidden energy of your bond. The leaves rustle gently in the night breeze, almost as if they are whispering your secrets.

Anakin strokes your hair gently, his fingers tracing patterns that send shivers down your spine. “I’ve always admired your strength,” he says softly. “You’ve kept us hidden so well, even when it must have torn you apart.”

You sigh, nuzzling closer to him. “It hasn’t been easy,” you admit. “Every time I see you, I have to fight the urge to run into your arms. But I’ve never regretted it. Not for a moment.”

His grip tightens around you, as if he fears you might slip away. “I want to show you something,” he says suddenly, sitting up. “Come with me.”

Curious, you follow him through the winding paths of the garden until you reach a small, hidden alcove. The moonlight filters through the leaves, casting a mystical glow over everything. Anakin kneels and presses a hidden switch, revealing a small passageway.

“How did you find this?” you ask, amazed.

“I have my ways,” he replies with a wink. “Come on.”

The passage leads to a secluded chamber deep within the temple, one that even you, with all your knowledge of the place, had never discovered. It’s filled with ancient artifacts, relics of Jedi history, and texts that seem almost forgotten by time.

“I come here to think,” Anakin says, lighting a small lantern that casts a warm glow over the room. “It’s a place where I can be myself, away from the pressures of the Council and the weight of my duties.”

You walk around, marveling at the treasures surrounding you. “It’s incredible,” you whisper. “Like a sanctuary.”

Anakin smiles, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “I wanted to share it with you. A place that’s ours alone.”

You turn in his embrace, your eyes meeting his. “Thank you,” you say, your voice thick with emotion. “It means more than you know.”

For a moment, you simply stand there, holding each other, surrounded by the silent witnesses of a bygone era. Then, with a gentle tug, Anakin leads you to a small nook filled with cushions. You sit down together, and he pulls you into his lap, his lips finding yours once more.

He breaks the kiss and smiles up at you, taking in every curve of your body, his hands brushing along your thighs as he drinks in the sight of you.

“You're so beautiful... even more so up close.” he whisper 

He reaches up, his hand cradling your cheek as he kisses you again. As the kiss deepens, he pulls you closer, his hand sliding lower along the curve of your waist. His touch is gentle at first, but as his passion grows, he holds you tighter against him.

Anakin's tongue explores your mouth as his hands roam over your body, tracing the curves of your hips. His touch is electric, sending shivers down your spine as it ignites the fire burning within you.

You moan softly into his mouth as you feel his fingers brush across your skin, their touch leaving a trail of warmth in their wake. Your hands explore his back, feeling every muscle as they clench and relax beneath your fingertips.

Anakin breaks away from you briefly, trailing kisses down your neck and collarbone. His teeth graze against your skin, causing goosebumps to rise in their wake.

“Ani... what are we doing...?” You breathe, biting your lip as his lips find a sensitive spot on your neck.

Anakin chuckles, his breath warm against your skin as he leaves a trail of kisses along your jaw.

"I think you know, love.." He murmurs, his hand slipping under your chin to tilt your head back and expose your neck to him.

“I want you,” he whispers in your ear, his voice low and husky.

His words send shivers down your spine, and you can't help but arch your back, pressing yourself closer to him. Your body aches for his touch, but you’re thankful that he can’t see the way you clench your eyes closed. 

Regardless, he can sense you tightening your grip on the back of his head. As you shift up against his thigh, the heat from your underwear burns against him.

He is aware that you are hesitant.

“It can be like i told you last time.” He stutters, licks his lips, and struggles to get the words out of his throat.

“Just- sit on it.” he managed to say. “If you don’t want to move it’s alright love, just wanna be inside you.” 

He buries his head into the crook of your neck and kiss it carefully to not leave any marks.

“Anakin..” You whisper softly as you struggle not to close your eyes to his touch.

He pulls away from your neck and looks up at you.

“What? Are you afraid?” 

Your eyes roll slightly “No i’m not afraid.”

A slight smile appears at the corner of his lips. “Then what is it?”

You squint at his attitude. “Nothing. I- I just won’t move.”

He nods and slowly kisses your neck, his fingers tangle in your hair, pulling your head back to expose your neck. “Alright, love.”

You shift back so he can pull his trousers down to his knees, and you take his cock in your hand, feeling him melting at your simple touch.

“Love,” he whispers, his voice deep and rough. “I want to be inside you. Now.” 

You feel a surge of heat between your legs, and you can't help but moan in response. You've never felt so aroused, so completely lost in the moment.

You push your underwear to the side, and you lift yourself to sink onto him as Anakin breathes “Take it easy love, don't want you to hurt yourself.”

You halt. To avoid pushing him inside of you all at once and hurting yourself, you grip his shoulder to steady yourself.

You push against him once more, and the tip of his cock nudges between your folds, forcing an ache to shoot through your clit and make you dizzy. You pause as a slow burn builds in your thighs, you clench down in an effort to relieve the pain.

“Fuck,” Anakin grunts as he wraps his arm around the back of your hips, “Lemme,” he mumbles, and he flexes gently his hips up, slowly feeding his cock into your soaked core and kiss your neck again to distract you from the potential pain.  

You're gasping for air, you moan softly in pleasure, the heat of his mouth on your skin igniting the fire within you. You've never felt anything like this before, and you never want it to end.

When you finally sink to the depths, the pair of you moan out loudly in unison.

Anakin buries his face in your neck, “Now, don’t move. Just don’t move.” He grunts once again.

You nod a little too vigorously, which creates a slight movement in your hips, and because of that you feel Anakin pulse from inside of you.

he manage laughs falsely and grips your hips more firmly “What did i say?”

“S- Sorry” You whisper as you feel his wet lips brush against your breasts which makes you throw your head back.

“If you move again,” Anakin begins to say, panting, “I'll leave the Jedi order and do what I should have done a long time ago.”

Anakin always wanted to fuck you properly and it drove him crazy not to be able to do it.

“D - Don’t try to tempt me, Anakin” You managed to say, saying in your head to yourself,  

Don’t even move.

But Anakin brings you out of your thoughts by licking gently your neck, making you clench around him, causing him to groan deep against your neck.

“I'm warning you, this is the last time.” He says, gritting his teeth and gripping your hips even more firmly, but not enough to hurt. 

“It’s all your fault this time” You whimper as you tighten your grip on his shoulders. 

“Just stay still,” He said firmly, concentrating on not moving and coming inside you.

[hes-a-plant]

Rewatching the part of FOTR where they’re in Rivendell and I noticed a few things:

We all joke about Elrond being super done with Gandalf after he recites the ring’s inscription in the Black Speech. But fun fact, if you pay attention you can actually see Elrond facepalm at this point. He is so done.

A bit after Frodo wakes up, we get a look at his bed. There is a statue of a winged elf(?) carved into the headboard. Elwing??

The pedestal that the ring is on? Fëanorian star carved into it.

I need Elrond’s shirt. The embroidery is so perfect.

Hobbits have gorgeous shirts made of linen (? That’s what it looks like, at least)

The collar of Sam’s shirt is clearly hand stitched, a neat detail separating him from the other hobbits, as the only working class one!

It is all the rage for elves to wear horrible velvet cloaks.

Boromir’s collar at 1:40:16. Wow? What? It’s very cool. He also has some very neat clasps that have the tree of Gondor on them!

At 1:42:05, there appears to be another Feanorian star on the ground surrounding the pedestal that the ring is on

There are lots of elf statues surrounding the Council of Elrond. I can’t make out anyone specific, but I’d be curious if anyone else can.

Legolas really likes jumping up and yelling at Boromir, lol

Wow, it looks like the number 8 is a recurring motif in Elrond’s decor. I wonder what that could mean. That’s certainly not a meaningful number at all.

Gandalf is really just wearing rags, huh. I’m glad Galadriel ends up giving him new clothes, but he could have used some a bit sooner.

While Frodo is staring at the ring, the black speech inscription is echoing in the background! Never noticed this before!

Elvish shingles are shaped like leaves

“On you who go with him, no oath nor bond is laid to go further than you will” and cut to Aragorn, who gives a grim smile to Arwen. Hmm. This one could be a stretch, but wouldn’t those two have grown up on tales of Oaths-Are-Bad?

Right as Frodo is walking through the gates of Rivendell, there’s a statue. Again, I don’t know if it’s supposed to be anyone specific, but one of y’all might be able to identify it.

Unfortunately it wouldn’t let me screenshot anything so I can’t share pictures

[forcemeanakin]

Hot with brains

•WARNINGS: SMUT.  Fingering (f receiving), oral fixation, dirty talk, praise kink and also degrading kink, corruption kink kinda??? Edging. Public space. The OC has a kink that attracts her to smart guys.

Pairing: ROTS!Anakin Skywalker x Female!reader.

Summary: Anakin falls for the librarian at the Jedi Temple, however, he soon realizes his adorable smile and golden curls won’t cut it with this one. No, she likes something different: brains. 

Word count: 4.7K. 

A/N: Pretty self-indulgent piece. I've been obsessed with Anakin's engineering brain ever since I got into Star Wars and this idea had be floating around for a whileeeee. Hope you all enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it!

————————————————————————

You liked smart guys. 

It wasn’t a kink per sé. You just couldn’t see yourself hooking up with someone with no brains, let alone establishing a committed relationship with them. You were swoon by guys with deep thoughts and admirable speech skills. The type of man that would go for a whisky instead of a beer, or use real shoes instead of plain sneakers.

You being a snob might have to do with your upbringing, after all you were the daughter of two scholars and professors of one of the most prestigious universities of Coruscant. You were raised to be logical and love intellectual conversations. You wouldn’t- No. You couldn’t see yourself enjoying a space with someone with a low IQ.

That was the reasoning behind taking the internship in the Jedi Temple’s library as part of your college voluntary program. You had to volunteer a certain amount of hours in order to graduate from your Journalism degree with honors. 

You thought that even though this wasn’t exactly the area in which you were specializing, you would soak up some of the ancient knowledge of the Order, even make some great connections for the future. And so far it has been just that: A great experience. You got to read some really cool books and in the hours where no one would come, you got to finish some school work. The Jedi who would visit the library were nice and kind, always polite with a big smile. You even grew really fond of a young Togruta padawan that would spend her breaks in between training devouring books. 

It was calm and quiet. 

Until the storm broke through the door.

“Is this the one you’re looking for?” You yelled to Ahsoka as you climbed down the stairs with the title she asked for.

“Yes! Thank you, y/n!” She gave you a hug and ran to her table to start reading about the swamps in Dagobah.

You returned to your desk and kept registering the book’s codes into the control sheet when a loud sound made you look to the door, the one that was violently being thrown to open room for a tall, curly-haired man with dark robes.

You would recognize those robes anywhere. In reality, anyone from any point of the galaxy would recognize them.

Anakin Skywalker. 

One of the few exceptions of Jedi men who didn’t live up to the sophisticated standard of the Order’s image. And definitely someone you would prefer to stay away from. For some reason he was the favorite warrior of the people; the citizens would line up in front of the Temple to scream “Hero with no fear” to that pretentious douchebag.

He was fine. 

As what most people would call courageous, you would say careless. To others he was passionate, to you he was irrational. Not to mention how idiotic and unsubordinated he was; always talking back and doing things his way, ignoring what the guidelines said.

You didn’t like him. You didn’t like him at all. For that you were thankful that he never set foot into your sacred place. Until that doomed day.

“C’mon, Snips.” He shouted, approaching the desk where she sat. “We need to go. Council just called.”

“Can I have five more minutes? I’ve barely read anything about where we are going!” Ahsoka whined.

“You don’t need to read anything, we will find out anything that’s necessary there.” He huffed, finding his apprentice’s actions ridiculous. 

You quietly sighed and rolled my eyes. Of course.

“Fine… but y/n really took her time fetching it for me.” She exhaled annoyed and closed the book. 

Your eyes remained glued to your task at hand, not willing to look up and be involved in some type of pending argument.

“Who’s y/n?” Anakin scoffed rather loudly.

“Y/n! The volunteer?” Anakin frowned at the short explanation and shook his head in a negative motion. “You know, y/n! C’mon Skyguy, follow me.”

No, please no, you whispered to your insides.

“Hey, y/n!” You heard Ahsoka’s little footsteps running to where you were. 

“What can I do for you, Soka?” You answered, still pretending that you were too busy to move your head from its position.

“Skyguy hasn’t met you. Here, Anakin, y/n. She helps us out here in the library.”

“Ahsoka, we’re not supposed to be having social meetings, we need to go-” You finally gazed up and in that moment, Anakin and you made eye contact for the first time; it was intense. It felt like something clicked for him. “You must be Y/n.” Anakin shook his head lightly, hinting a little smirk as leaned over your table with fixed eyes. 

Hell, no.

“Yes, I am. How may I help you?” You were bitter, totally unbothered by his chiseled cheekbones, or his gorgeous hair, or his plumped lips. Not even the scar had any effect whatsoever. He was an ass and that was automatically a turn off for you. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t met you. You must be new.” He explained with dreamy eyes, subtly checking you out. You cursed the moment you decided to come in today with a blouse who had a bit of a cleavage. “I’m Anakin. Anakin Skywalker.”

“Actually, I’ve been here for almost two months now.” You suppressed the soul-eating need to roll your eyes.

“Oh, really? Sorry, I don’t come here much.” He leaned over even more, trying to keep eye contact even when you sat down. 

“Obviously.” You whispered on the low.

“Excuse me?” Anakin frowned, interrupting his beam to pout with confusion.

“Nothing.” You smiled widely with a fake grin. 

“Okay…” His frown deepened before a smirk broke out his lips. “Maybe I will make it a habit and visit more often.” He shrugged his shoulders, tilting his head to the side, deciphering the effects of his statement on you. 

“You should.” You looked at him and gave him a side-smile, making his eyes sparkle. “Books are good for you.” You returned to check the order of nabooian books on your computer. 

“Yeah, books are cool but there are other things I would much rather check out.” He smirked shamelessly at you, the back-handed comment flying way over his head.

You felt like gagging. Not the good kind.

Before you could come up with a clever response and shut him down for good, Ahsoka spoke from behind him.

“Ugh, gross! Let’s go!” The kid dragged him out by his clothes and before he disappeared through the glass door, he winked at you.

That was the first time you have seen him. First of many, many more. 

Since the day your paths crossed, he took every fleeting moment to come and “read”, when in reality it was just him eating, or drawing or doing anything but opening a book. Taking advantage of your breaks, or whenever you returned to your seat after doing rounds, he would come over and make conversation. About his battles, his accomplishments, his close-calls to death… or about random facts he collected from his missions and travels; Anything that would maybe impress you.

And when he wasn’t doing that? He would drown you in compliments, to see if in fact, you soften up to him. Anakin was already aware of your no-so-secret disgust towards him the day he caught one of your eye rolls.

Did he care? No. 

He was persistent: admiring your hair, loving the way you had styled it in a little bun (even though it was because the heat was eating you alive). He would ask about the tasks you were performing, sucking at pretending to be interested in hearing about organizing books in alphabetical order. 

And it would have maybe worked; his good looks combined to his natural charisma were enough to make any mortal melt at his sight. You almost combust when you saw him carrying some wood boards into the library, the primal part of you rejoicing at the sight of his strong muscles stretching. The man was eye candy, whether you like it or not.

But, boy, were you tough.

Anakin Skywalker was not your cup of tea to say the least. You wouldn’t collaborate in his attempts to get to know you. You were so uninterested in finding out more about him when you had already scanned him. Just a way-too-handsome-for-his-own-good guy who was lucky enough to be born as the Chosen One, because otherwise, he would have never made it in the Order. He was determined, you would give him that. 

His approaches were never creepy or invasive enough to make you uncomfortable, only to drive you wild. Even when he was the worst part of your day, you had to keep the polite but distant charade going on, in order to protect your job. Your disgust towards him, instead of hurting him, amused him. He liked challenges and you were freaking Mission Impossible. Although he also saw the flaws in you: a pretentious prick girl who had probably achieved everything in her life thanks to nepotism. But he could see past that.

Because, boy, were you hot. 

And he was sure you liked it nasty. 

Underneath your goodie-two-shoes clothes hid the true you: he knew you loved being treated like a filthy slut.

“Hello, y/n!” Ahsoka squealed in an excited voice. You two have grown to adore each other. 

“Hey, Soka!” You responded happily, finishing to put some encyclopedias on a shelf. When you turned around, you saw she wasn’t alone. “Oh… good afternoon, Anakin.”

“Nice to see you too, y/n.” Anakin huffed in a sarcastic voice before strolling to where you were, Ahsoka following close behind. “Is that a new shirt? It suits you.”

“No, it’s the same white button up shirt that I’ve always used.” You smiled and turned around to roll your eyes in peace. He was too busy devouring your bosom behind the fabric to ever notice the barrier between his eyes and your skin.

“Y/n, do you think you could grab me a book about loreeks? I’m doing a little presentation about them for my science class.” Ahsoka asked you with a sweet voice.

“Oh sure… just let me look oveeeer…” You walked, stretching the words as you searched in the countless sections. “...here. It must be on one of these shelves.” You announced when you entered the exotic animals aisle. 

Digitating the code on your scanner you found out it was in one of the tallest shelves, only reachable with a ladder. Right when you were about to move it, Anakin came in.

“Don’t worry, Y/n. I’ll get it.” And he used the Force to bring the book down. “Here you go Snips, study hard.” He nudged her head, annoying her.

“Yeah, I guess… but it’s Friday. Can I read after I hang out with the other padawans? Barris and Meelo are going skating!” She gave her best puppy eyes, to which Anakin agreed, after giving it little to no thought.

“You didn’t have to give her the book, I could have done it.” You waited for Ahsoka to leave before dropping the bomb. 

“Easy there, kitten. I was just helping out.” He furrowed his eyebrows. As if the unnecessary nickname wasn’t enough to drive you mad. Looking down, he saw the rest of your outfit and lingered his eyes more than necessary in your short, black skirt. “On second thought, I might have let you do it.” He smirked confidently.

“Just stay out of my way, okay?” You growled, walking away from him to your desk, not without bumping your shoulder with his on your way out.

“What the hell is your problem?” He asked with an incredulous face.

You were done. The build-up from the past month was beginning to choke down your sense of decency. Not to mention that your day was already going terrible before he appeared: the droid that would always help you out was broken, significantly delaying your work day. Also, it was laundry day and you had to use your uncomfortable lingerie.

“You know what, Skywalker?” You turned around with raised eyebrows. “You’re my problem.” He opened his eyes in bewilderment. “I don’t like you. I don’t appreciate you coming in, all macho-” You made a mocking manner. “-acting like a goddamn superhero, only after cleaning up the mess you created in the first place.” You crossed your arms in your chest. 

“I’m a general, kitten, and I can assure you the war it’s not my fault.” He scoffed, he used the nickname again, knowing it would press your buttons. 

“And how many times have you messed it up bigger than it was?” You squinted your eyes, only to see him run out of words. “That’s what I thought.” You came back to digitating codes. “It’s like you don’t think. You are just a machine run by adrenaline and praise.” You finally rolled your eyes in front of him without shame. You tried to run down the reports that C7, your assistant droid would do, only to fail and almost delete everything in your computer. “And I can assure you I have bigger problems than dealing with you!”

“Okay, back down-”

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” You yelled, getting desperate and throwing a tantrum at the device. You had enough for the day. You could leave, given that no one would come over this late, but your sense of responsibility prevented you from going home before finishing your work load. “I fucking hate this system!”

“Let me see-”

“Don’t! Just don’t, okay?” You swatted his hand away. “I’m not in the mood.”

“Could you stop being so stuck-up and let me help you?” He raised his voice, stepping up close to tower you. His eyes were on fire and you could sense that your previous comments did get to him, but for some reason outside of your understanding, he was still willing to help.

“Fine.” You chewed the words in your mouth, stepping down as you glared at him, giving him space to analyze the situation.

Instead of leaning down the computer, he went directly to C7, who lingered weakly on the side of your desk. He picked him up and put it on the table, moving him around his hands to examine the droid. He hummed after a couple of minutes, putting the mechanical body at eye level. “I see.”

“See what? What is it?” You pressed, trying to pick a glance from over his shoulder.

“I’m going to need my tools.” He murmured, dropping the droid back again.

“Wh-”

“I’ll be right back.” He exclaimed, before heading to the door in a rush.

“Wait! What?” You shouted, the shadow of his body the only thing visible.

You stayed alone for about fifteen minutes. You even got to thinking that he was pulling a prank on you, after yelling at him. But you stayed there, because well… what else would you do? You were beginning to fall asleep as you played with paper clips, when you heard the door being opened again.

“Finally! I thought you had left!” You sighed in relief, pushing your body off your desk. 

“I was getting my tools, I told you.” He frowned, lifting the heavy, dark red box to the white marble. “Now let’s bring this one back to life.” He smiled, before busting the carcass open. 

It took Anakin less than what you waited for him to get C7 up and running again. He flipped panels, snapped cables and pressed buttons, at an order that seemed random to you, until C7’s mechanical eyes opened again.

“Oh my God!” You laughed in disbelief. “He’s functioning again!”

Anakin smiled down at the table, as he finished up adjusting some screws. C7 sat up, analyzing his surroundings before getting up and going straight back to work. 

“I-I-” You were speechless. How did he do that? So fast? “I can’t believe you just did that.” You mumbled, still looking at C7 like it was a ghost. “Thank you, Anakin.” You turned around with apologizing eyes, twitching an embarrassed smile. 

“No problem. His transmitter was disconnected from the main system. I had to fix his-” The next couple of things that he mentioned sounded like pure gibberish to you, but he was very firm, so it must be true. Right? Sensing your bafflement, he spilled facts slower and quieter until he stopped talking, finalizing with a dry smile. “Yeah, it was nothing.”

He was starting to pack everything in his toolbox again and you had a pending need to say something. However, you didn’t know if you should kick off with a real apology or-

“How did you know all that?” So a pop quiz it was. In your defense, you were genuinely curious about the abilities he had just demonstrated. Mindblown, to be more specific. 

“About what?” He furrowed his brows, closing the box but leaving on the table. 

“About the transmitter, and the restraining bolt, and- and-” You were running out of technical terms. 

“Mechanics are second nature to me at this point.” He shrugged his shoulders, picking up the box. “I know everything about the topic, so, it was an easy fix. I’d have rearranged his central system if I had the missing part, but it’s very specific. What I did will do for now, though.” 

He was about to leave when he noticed the way you were leaning on the table, head on top of your fist to pay close attention to him. You were murmuring almost unhearable “uh-huh”s, totally lost in his words. 

“Sooo, you know mechanics.” You were such a hypocrite, you couldn’t stand the man fifteen minutes ago and now you were drooling over the sight of him explaining complicated shit to you. Snob. “You often fix things?” You tried to investigate, see if the throbbing happening between your legs was worth pursuing. 

“Sometimes… I often go to the hangar and repair the damaged ships or flip them.” He grinned without teeth. “The techs often ask for me. They say I have an eye for these things. Been working on droids since I was a kid, so.” Anakin wasn’t trying to brag, but his ample knowledge in mechanics was something that he prided himself on. 

“That seems like a lot of work.” You continued the small talk, slowly losing yourself over this spontaneous crush. 

“It can get tricky.” He dismissed, beginning to notice the glint on your eyes. He recognized the way your irises had darkened: He got those fuck-me eyes wherever he went. “Still haven’t found something I can’t fix.”

But it was involuntary. The fact that he was an expert on a matter as hard as mechanics scratched a part of your brain; It flipped a switch inside of you. Anakin was a different man under your eyes now. He was smart, hella smart. 

“Gosh, that’s so impressive.” You giggled like the girls that would flirt at him. Pathetic. But you quickly regained control, not before sucking up some courage and getting closer to him, posing more seductively this time. “That brain of yours sure hides lots of secrets.”

He hadn’t quite figured out why the change of heart, so it took him a moment to replay your evening together. It lasted a bit more than he liked to admit, but it hit him. Of course. An arrogant smile cracked his face. Of course you would be attracted to someone who was a master of something you consider relevant. After all, you liked to consider yourself an “intellectual”. Just to test his theory, he consciously started to brag about something else… something that would have your panties in a bunch if his hypothesis was correct.

“Wanna know another one?” He cocked an eyebrow, resting his elbow on the table to stand inches away from your face.

Your face shined with a slight pink blush, but it was the way you bit your lip that drove him crazy. That and your enthusiastic nod. “Yeah.”

“There’s a reason behind why I’m the best pilot of the fleet. And it’s not just because of my background as a pod racer or the Force.” He whispered, snickering at how soft your eyes had grown. “It’s actually because… I use physics.”

“Physics?” You almost moaned. 

“Yeah, physics.” He repeated, moistening his lips, a thing your eyes followed. “Self-taught, just like with mechanics.”

That ripped a subtle whimper out of you. Well, not subtle to him. 

“You-you understand math?” If it wasn’t because you were visibly squeezing your thighs at the newly acquired information, he would be completely offended that you thought he was dumb as fuck. 

“Love em.” He muttered, his intense stare glued to you, as his fingers put a string of hair behind your ear.

Like thunder, you were rushing to capture his lips and show him just how hot you thought he was now. Anakin freezed at first, taking aback by your sudden demonstration of affection, but when he understood that you were willingly -and enthusiastically- giving yourself to him, he wasted no time to embrace you back. 

Wet kisses splashed everywhere; it was fucking mess. You hung onto his shoulders while he groped all of your body, starting with your sweet hips, fondling your ass like it was his personal stress ball and finally landing on your waist. You pressed against him shamelessly, but in reality, how much shame could you still have when the man’s tongue was down your throat? The only thing you knew with certainty was that the sucking sounds and moans you both dropped were intensifying the already sex-filled atmosphere.

“Anakin.” You tried to sound normal, but your voice was failing just like your knees were. “W-why haven’t you gone to a proper school? Maybe get a degree?”

Was that seriously so important to you? The opinion of others? Anakin questioned in his own head.

Anakin was the kind of person that wasn’t susceptible to the opinion of others, especially regarding his own image. He was sure of the shit he knew and didn’t need anyone validating that for him. No expensive universities, no uptight professors; Obi-Wan was more than enough. Nonetheless, he had found a shortcut to get inside your pants and God as his witness, he was gonna use it. 

“Y/n.” He snickered right in your face, drinking in the power. “I don’t care about any of that. I'm a certified engineer, that’s how I got to build this myself.” Removing the leather, he revealed his mechanical limb to you, wiggling his fingers.

It was fancier than you ever thought a mechanical hand could be. Black with touches of gold; it was elegant and sophisticated, way more advanced than any technology you had ever seen in the orthopedics research field. And you knew it well, your mom was an orthopedic surgeon. 

It was no surprise to him that after spilling that last fact you were now shamelessly grinding on his half-hard. The fact that he was an engineering mastermind was such an aphrodisiac. And as much as he wanted to have another taste of your full, pink lips, the ones he often imagined enveloped around his dick while you scolded him, Anakin wasn’t willing to make the first move.

You were going to have to beg for it. 

“Anakin?” Your hands flattened on his pecs, back arching when he cupped your cheek with the cool durasteel prosthetic, kneading against it with soft eyes. He must have noticed how captivated you were by his invention. 

“Yeah, baby?” He continued the soft ministrations up and down your cheek, redirecting your gaze to his face whenever your eyes would deviate to his artificial limb. 

“You- Uhm, you built it from scratch?” You gulped when his thumb inched closer to your mouth, rubbing your bottom lip and pulling it open. 

Little obedient you put no resistance, and instead, stuck out your wet tongue to happily receive his digit into your warmness. But this time it was his index, the one you were bobbing your head into, eye contact not faltering even when you were practically giving oral to his hand. Anakin smiled pleased at your enthusiasm for pleasuring him and added another finger for you to lubricate. 

“From scratch.” He nodded, lustful irises boring into you. “Designed it too.”

You moaned around him, feeling content with being sandwiched between his firm torso and your desk, and with your mouth being fucked by his fingers. Saliva smeared all over your chin, you whined pitifully when your lips were no longer stuffed. On the contrary of leaving you all hot and bothered, Anakin lowered those same fingers to your leaky cunt, pushing your underwear aside for easy access. 

He groaned when he first inserted a finger, your gasping a sign for him to slow down. “Baby, you’re tight.” He seemed to love that about you. 

After adjusting to the size of his strong index finger, Anakin breached in with his middle one, repeating the process of you getting used to the coldness and girth all over. 

“A-Anakin.” You closed your eyes, involuntarily standing on your tippy toes. 

“That’s right, you’re doing so well. Taking my fingers like a true champ.” He bit down a condescending smile. “Atta girl.”

The initial discomfort was just a milestone you had to overcome to succumb to the pleasure that it was being fucked by Anakin Skywalker’s metal hand. His frigid thumb came to roll over your bundle of nerves, helping you relax into him and enjoy the sensation of fully riding his hand. 

“That’s it. Fuck my hand just like that, kitten.” He chuckled, finding a spot on your neck to latch on, leave a little souvenir of your encounter, and hide his pitiful laugh. 

Kisses were peppered along your exposed throat, your clavicle and jaw, his long eyelashes tickling you and making you clench around his metal hand tighter. Whilst you worried about not whining too loud for anyone to enter the library, Anakin was pumping his fingers at such an unholy pace to complicate your task.

“Shhh, baby. You need to be quiet. Wouldn’t like for anyone to come in. You could lose your job.” He mocked with a side smile and you had to gripped his bicep to keep your balance. “Could you imagine? Getting caught having sex at work? With a Jedi?”

You could perceive that the trespassing of the pseudo-celibacy Jedi code was turning him to no end, the mischievous glimmer in his eyes getting stronger when he said the last sentence. 

“W-We’re not having sex.” You corrected him, like it mattered. Like having him knuckles deep into you was somehow less frowned-upon than to have actual coitus.

That made him laugh and you wiggled underneath him, fighting to not let your tears fall. 

“You just wait.” His lips ghosted over yours, his breath fanning over your heated face. The increase of the movements of his hand was a sign that he had noticed the contractions around his digits, fully aware that you were close. “Ready to come, baby? Gonna gush all over me?”

You nodded, biting your swollen lip, losing the battle against your tear duct. Anakin used his other thumb, the one that was not torturing your clit, to liberate your abused lip. His mouth lowered to capture yours in a hot kiss, this tongue sliding on your inside until it hit your throat. So deep into you that you would never forget his taste; so deep you will never be able to deny him. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” You whimpered against his smile when you reached your peak, dissolving into this meaningless mass between his arms. “Anakin…” You rode out your climax, still rocking your hips to prolong the pleasure.

Anakin waited until you regained some composure to help you fix your clothes, putting back your underwear as he found it and lowering your skirt. His actions had you frowning: Weren’t you two gonna fuck? You were already mentally prepared to welcome his enormous cock in your tiny canal. 

He grinned at your puppy eyes and adorable pout, your flustered state funnier than it should be. It was almost enough to break him. But someone had to give you a lesson. 

 “At the end of the day, I’m just a soldier, Y/n. An incompetent one, according to you.” 

Before you could protest that, he was tilting his head in an accusatory manner. Like saying: Don’t even try it. And before leaving with his head high, he spat: 

“My apologies if that’s not fancy enough for you, ma’am.”

[tzyuki]

— (07.16.23) LOVE 2 HATE ME

IN WHICH ✶ Y/n and Gunwook have a secret thing for each other. Except the two are extremely embarrassed to be seen with one another. Gunwook being the soccer star player, class president, student council vice president, and having awesome grades it was almost impossible for her to not see him as a competitor. They didn’t wanna ruin their reputations, how stubborn could they be?

genre 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ park gunwook x f!reader, academic rivals, fluff, lowk a slowburn

warnings 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ swearing, kms jokes, gunwook has his driver license fr fr, theres like an insane amount of usage of the words “scoffed” and “shrugged”. unwanted touch.

release date 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ 07.16.23

word count 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ 19.6k

perm taglist (open) 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ @jinkyu @jangwonie @cwsana @luvyrin @amara-mars @ineedaherosavemeenow @mintydayeon @love-4-keum @kpopx-xlover @abdiitcryy @beepjeongie @ox1-lovesick @ja4hyvn @shinsou-rii @winkura @ddeonudepressions @tnyhees @wannabeyn @kpoprhia @svnghoonsonly

ej note 𓏸 ͘ ࣭⸰ ahhh finally i am posting this! i’ve been working on this for about over three months going back and fourth to it. reblogs, likes and feedback are appreciated, I hope you guys enjoy this!

Everything Park Gunwook could do Jeon Y/n could do better.

That’s what Jeon Y/n thought at least.

The two were equally as smart and equally as devoted to school, but the two were just too damn competitive and one of them had to be a winner.

Y/n was a recommended tutor for all struggling students, she had perfect attendance, won many school awards, and is studying many languages.

Park Gunwook is the class president, vice principal for the student council, soccer star player, also won many awards, and has outstanding grades.

But what bothered Y/n the most was the fact that he was ranked top of the class and she was right behind him.

She despised him and he despised her.

Gunwook liked the competition and the rush feeling he got whenever he and Y/n were pitted against each other. Whether it was in class, love confessions, being favorited, or literally anything else.

He just enjoyed winning over her and the look on her face every time she lost.

“Soccer is probably the most attractive sport.” Huening Bahiyyih said as she and Y/n were sitting on the field bleachers, watching the soccer game go on. “Hiyyih-ah, what has gotten into you. Clearly badminton is the most attractive sport.” Y/n scoffed.

“You’re only saying that because Park Gunwook plays soccer. As much as you hate him you can’t deny how cute he is.” Hiyyih tried to argue.

“Park Gunwook is my enemy.”

Y/n said, Hiyyih shrugging her shoulders and turning her attention back to the game. Park Gunwook walking off of the field to get a sip of water.

Y/n was watching him with an expression of hatred on her face. Gunwook saw her and waved, being awfully polite just to piss her off.

“Ugh, I despise him.” Y/n looked away and tried to find another player to pay attention to.

—

“Y/n,” Mr. Shin called out before she was able to leave class like her pears. “I need to talk to you. Don’t worry, nothing bad.” Y/n sheepishly smiled as she walked up to his desk.

“I need you to tutor another student, Kim Danbi from class 1-3. You’ll meet up tomorrow after school in the library.”

“Tomorrow?” Y/n hesitated to ask. “Can’t I do it this weekend or something?”

“Y/n, we already scheduled it for tomorrow. It’s the only time she is free and she really needs your help so it’s settled.”

“Ah, okay. If she really needs it then.” Y/n laughed nervously. “Have a good day.” She bowed before leaving.

Shocked to see Park Gunwook waiting outside by the door. “What.” She said as he stared at her for a little. “Nothing.” He said before walking into the class she had just left.

Y/n couldn’t do a tutoring session tomorrow. She hated how her teachers would just schedule sessions for her without even asking if she was free or not. But she loved how good it’ll look in her record.

Everyone knew Jeon Y/n’s life was boring, they had just assumed she was always free.

“Hiyyih,” Y/n approached the girl in the lunch line. “Can you do me a favor tomorrow?” She asked as food was put on her tray. “Is it difficult?” Hiyyih asked as the two walked down the room of the cafeteria to go to the table the two always sat at.

“No, I just need you to pick Hayun and watch her tomorrow. Mr. Shin scheduled a session for me again. I asked if we could reschedule but we couldn't.”

“Sure, I love hanging with Hayun.” Hiyyih agreed. “He seriously needs to stop scheduling sessions for you without letting you know.”

“I know, but I feel so bad if I don’t tutor them. And they’ll look so good on my record. I need to get a scholarship before Gunwook does.”

“What’s up with you and Gunwooks rivalry, it’s so silly.” Hiyyih laughed at the ridiculous words coming out of Y/n’s mouth.

“It shouldn’t matter who gets a scholarship first or who tops the class.”

“It matters to me.” Y/n slightly glared at her best friend. “We’ve been in a rivalry since middle school ever since he decided to steal Kim Dayeon from me.”

“Yah, this is all because you and Gunwook both liked Kim Dayeon at the same time?” Hiyyih chuckled at the thought. “He would laugh in my face whenever Dayeon would choose to do something with him.” Y/n sulked.

“It’s my middle school trauma and my revenge is being better at anything he does.”

“Last time I checked you’re absolutely shit at soccer.”

“Okay so I can learn, soccer can’t be that hard?” She shrugged her shoulders. “I can sign up for that school fundraiser game and beat him in a couple matches.”

“Well that’s surely a goal.” Hiyyih mumbled. “I have months to practice, the fundraiser isn’t till may.” Y/n said.

“Hi, sunbaenim.” A junior of the girls bowed and put down a carton of milk on Y/n’s plate. “Thank you for agreeing to tutor me today! I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you a second milk carton.” She turned to Hiyyih and apologetically shook her head.

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” Hiyyih smiled at the girl. “It’s no problem, it’s what I do.” Y/n responded to her Junior.

“Thank you again!” Kim Danbi said before making her leave.

“Why do our juniors seem scared of you?” Hiyyih asked. “What do you mean?” Y/n slightly tilted her head in confusion. “I mean, it was hard to not notice the tension.”

“How?” Y/n didn’t notice any tension between the two.

“She was looking down the whole time and I saw her hesitating on coming up to us earlier in the corner of my eye.”

“I’m not sure, she’s probably just shy.”

—

Y/n was waiting in the library for Kim Danbi. She hoped this session went by quickly so she could go home and to take care of her little sister.

“Hi, Sunbaenim.” Kim Danbi sat down in the seat across from Y/n. “Hi.” Y/n smiled and started to pull out books from her bag.

“What topic do you need help with?” Y/n, Danbi pulling her pencil case out. “Just english.”

“Good, It’s one of my best subjects. Hopefully I can teach you quickly, if we need a few more sessions that’ll be fine. It’ll just cost 20 each session.”

“Alright.” Danbi smiled, ready for the session to start.

“Okay, what do you mainly need help on?”

“I have a book assignment due this week. I read the book but I’m having trouble writing an essay for it. I heard you were really good at writing essays and you were recommended by a lot of teachers so I wanted to ask for your input and to help me improve.”

“Alright, it shouldn't be too hard. What book were you assigned?”

“All the bright places.” Danbi pulled the book out and Y/n’s eyes shined a little. “I love that book.” Y/n smiled.

“I remember doing that assignment last year, do you have the same essay assignment or a different one?”

—

“Gunwook-ah, do you have to take so long?” Gyuvin complained as Gunwook was picking out a couple books he needed for an assignment.

“If you wanna go to practice soon you can.” Gunwook hummed. “I’m not forcing you to stay.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to leave you here alone.”

“I’ll be fine.” Gunwook chuckled. “Alright, I’ll see you.” Gyuvin patted his back before leaving the library.

“This is decent, you just need to focus on the emotion. Right now it’s like you’re half-assing it. I don’t mean that in a rude way, I mean it in a way where when somebody else reads this they’ll feel like you didn’t get your point across. Put more detail into it.”

Y/n and Danbi could be seen from the gap of books on the bookshelf. Gunwook listened for a little while. Y/n was good at english and knew how to express emotions with words, he’ll give that to her.

“Hey, actually. Captain is mad right now, so I don’t want to get yelled at.” Gyuvin pops up from behind, startling Gunwook. “You scared me.” Gunwook’s hand rested on his heart from shock.

“What are you looking at?” Gyuvin peeked into the book gap. “Oh, Y/n? That’s a little creepy.”

“It was for a second, I’m not a creep.”

“Oh yeah? Remember the times she was tutoring and you would—“ Gyuvin was trying to rest his hand on the bookshelf but misplaced his hand, knocking down books making themselves seen.

“You make it seem like I did something bad, I just left her juice cartons in her basket without her knowing.” Gunwook whispered and frantically fixed the books.

“I need to check these books out, wait outside for me.” Gunwook gently shoved Gyuvin in the direction of the exit.

“Fine.” Gyuvin put his hands up in defense, almost tripping over a book. “And please stop making noise.” Gunwook sighed.

—

“Unnie! Did you know Hiyyih-Unnie likes mint choco, she’s just like you! You guys have terrible taste.” Hayun spoke as soon as Y/n walked into the house. “Yah, mint choco is amazing.” Y/n scoffed as she hung her bag up.

“Did you eat already?” Y/n asked as she opened a snack cabinet. “Yeah, Hiyyih-Unnie made me a snack.” Hayun and Hiyyih were sitting on top of the island.

“Promise me it was a real snack and not just ice cream.” She glared. “Yes it was.” Hayun groaned.

“Okay, I trust you. Did you call mom and dad today?”

Y/n’s parents were on business trips all the time. They worked as Retail buyers and were always traveling for two weeks twice a month.

“Yes, they asked where you were and I told them you had a tutoring session. They want you to take a break from tutoring. They think you need time to yourself.”

“Believe me, I think so too.” Y/n groaned.

—

Kim Dayeon and Jeon Y/n used to be close friends. Nothing bad happened for the two to stop being close friends, they just drifted apart. Y/n likes to blame Park Gunwook for it because he was like a knife that split a piece of bread in the middle of their friendship.

He had gained an interest in Kim Dayeon and Y/n didn’t like that, no one would. Especially since Y/n’s only friend was Dayeon at the time and she had a secret thing for her, who wouldn’t?

Everyone thought Kim Dayeon was cool, she played basketball in her free time, her parents ran a popular sushi restaurant, and she was class president for a year.

She was funny and nice to everyone. There was just nothing you could dislike Kim Dayeon for.

Park Gunwook made it his goal to get close to Kim Dayeon and to do that he had to hangout with her any chance he got and that was hard since Y/n was with her all the time.

He swears he didn’t mean to make them completely drift apart—only for a little. He found Y/n funny when she would get mad so he would tease her about Dayeon wanting to hang out with Gunwook and not her behind Dayeons back.

Park Gunwook honestly doesn’t dislike Y/n as much as people make it out to be. He thinks they would actually be good friends if they tried, but the two were just equally as competitive. Y/n still had a grudge on him and Gunwook’s life got more interesting once their little rivalry started.

Actually, once he did become closer to Kim Dayeon he realized his interest in her were just pure lies. He actually didn’t like the girl that much, he just thought she was cool and thought he had a crush on her.

But once Y/n was out of the picture it was odd. Y/n wasn’t there to complain, sulk and pull that pouty face to Kim Dayeon that he would see every friday when they argued on who should hang out with Dayeon.

Jeon Y/n completely stopped talking to Kim Dayeon. Yes, it is partially her fault that she and Kim Dayeon don’t talk since she had dropped her out of nowhere but she still blames Park Gunwook since he was the reason Kim Dayeon rarely had time for her.

If he was being completely honest he had a tiny tiny interest in Jeon Y/n. But it would be embarrassing for him to admit to anyone, especially since the two have a known rivalry and “hatred” for each other.

“I wonder how Y/n handles all those tutoring sessions, she has at least three a week.” Dayeon wondered.

Her and Gunwook were hanging out outside by the soccer field.

“I don’t know. She probably has some super ability to teach struggling kids who don’t give a damn about their grades.” Gunwook was kicking around a soccer ball as Dayeon watched.

“Are you gonna sign up for the soccer game fundraiser this year? You should do it.” Gunwook suggested. Dayeon has always said she’d sign up for them but she always ends up not.

“You just want to beat me in a game of soccer.” Dayeon chuckled. “Which is unfair, considering the fact that you are literally our school's star player.” Dayeon rolled her eyes.

“I heard Y/n’s signing up.” Dayeon heard this from a random girl in the bathroom. Everyone was intrigued by her and Gunwook’s rivalry.

“Y/n’s trying so you should try.”

“As if, that’ll be so awkward.” Dayeon sighed. “We haven’t talked in like five years. I wonder if she’s different from back then.”

“Five years is a lot. She probably has changed. I don’t know, I really only talk to her when I wanna tease her about my test score or piss her off.”

“You’re an ass. As if you didn’t torture her enough in middle school.”

“I am not.” Gunwook gasped. “Her reactions are just so funny. When her eyebrows come closer to each other, her eyes shine with hatred and her pouty face she’s had since middle school.”

“That’s a very detailed description for someone who supposedly hates her.” Dayeon had a slight expression of concern on her face, she was shocked at how detailed Gunwook got.

“It’s just very memorable.”

“Sure.” Dayeon just agreed. She knew Park Gunwook could never have pure hatred for anyone.

When she found out about Gunwook’s intentions she was not surprised to say the least. It was obvious. She missed Y/n a lot but she knew it’d be hard to rebuild that friendship. One thing about Y/n is that she knows her worth and knows what’s bad and what’s good for her.

The feeling of jealousy she got with Dayeon and Gunwook was bad. So she stopped talking to Dayeon.

Dayeon stayed close with Gunwook and eventually learned a lot of stuff about him. About how he’s such a big baby despite his intimidating appearance.

—

“Did you hear about that new guy today? I heard he’s cute.” Zhang Hao asked as soon as he sat down in his seat next to Y/n. “It’s only 7 in the morning, how could I have heard of him?” Y/n yawned. “Did you not get sleep?” Hao asked. “You know that’s bad for you, I don’t care about what you were studying for. Sleep and your health is more important!”

“I was not studying.” Y/n pouted. “I was making tutoring notes actually.”

“Even worse.” Zhang Hao was about to speak again but the teacher walked in with a student beside her. The new guy.

“Quiet please. We have a new student.” Ms. Nam said as she pointed to the boy next to her. “Introduce yourself please!” Ms. Nam said joyfully.

“Hi, I’m Ricky Shen and I just recently moved from China.”

“You can sit right behind Y/n and Hao! Please raise your hands!” Ms. Nam said pointing to their direction as the two raised their hands.

“Hi.” Ricky said to the two as he sat right behind Y/n. “What region are you from?” Hao turned around in his seat and asked. “Shanghai.”

“Cool, I’m from Fujian!” Hao smiled. “If you need any help or a "guide ", come to us. Or maybe just me, Y/n is always busy.”

“Oh, are you like the class president? That’s a busy role.” Ricky asked. “I’m not.” Y/n turned to face him. “Park Gunwook is the class president.” Y/n scanned the room to find him staring at her. “The one staring at us.” Y/n pointed out.

“Oh, I see. Why are you so busy then? If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I just study a lot.” Y/n laughed nervously. “She’s downplaying herself, Y/n’s ranked number two in this class and she has this really good reputation with teachers so they send all the struggling kids to her so she can tutor them. Now she spends three days a week tutoring and stays up late at night making notes for them.” Hao just spoke like he told a whole life story.

“It’s kinda messed up in a way.” He shrugged his shoulders. “You could’ve just said I tutor kids. I think you broke Ricky.”

Ricky was confused and lost. Not actually, it just seemed like he was. It was just a lot of information to process.

“Why don’t you say something about not wanting to tutor them? Or that you’re already busy?”

“Oh she does, but she has this rivalry with the class president and she wants to get a college scholarship before him and tutoring looks good on her record so she suffers the pain and sucks it up.”

“At this point you're telling my life story to him.”

“At least he’ll be filled in and not confused. You and Gunwook’s rivalry is kind of the best part of this school. It’s so funny when you guys fight.” Hao teased.

“You guys are crazy.” Ricky laughed, but it wasn’t a loud chaotic laugh like most people. It was a quiet one. Y/n liked that. Ricky seemed like a quiet observer.

“If you think we’re crazy just wait till you meet the soccer team.” Hao hummed. “Are they bad?” Ricky asked. “No, they’re just kinda chaotic—more crazy off the field, y’know? The other day Kim Gyuvin literally knocked books off of the shelves by accident because he misplaced his hand. I don’t know how he’s one of their best players when he's usually so clumsy.”

“And the other day they almost caused a ruckus at the vending machines because it was jammed and Han Yujin was so determined to get his snack he held the line up.”

“And one time Kim Jiwoong flirted his way to get free snacks from the snack bar.”

“That sounds like something I’d do.” Ricky laughed. “They usually only do it to Kim Jiwoong. If it happens to anyone else they’re either really lucky or just extremely attractive.” Y/n explained.

“I think they’ll let you get free snacks. You’re handsome enough.” Y/n looked at Ricky. She found him attractive. He seems sweet as well so that’s a plus. “Hook us up if it works.” She joked.

—

Park Gunwook was upset. Like angry, upset. He wished he had lost all his hearing in his left ear cause all he could hear all class was Y/n laughing with Zhang Hao and Ricky.

He didn’t think Ricky was that funny, so why was Y/n laughing so hard.

“Why are you so upset? You don’t even like Y/n.” Dayeon asked. She was testing the waters, she wanted to know Gunwook’s response knowing in reality he does like the girl.

“Because—they were being distracting. She was laughing so much, they all were! What could’ve been so funny.” He made an excuse.

“I heard Ricky’s getting popular. I’ve heard he also plays basketball, maybe I’ll see him in the courtyard later. I’ll tell you if he’s funny.” Dayeon

“That’s not helpful. You laugh at anything, and since Ricky is mega attractive you’ll just laugh and giggle at everything.” Gunwook sighed. “Oh,” Dayeon laughed, “Are you just jealous that Ricky seems to be so funny and attractive that all the attention will be taken away from you.” Dayeon spoke.

More like the attention of Y/n would be taken from him although he never had it…

But he was also upset at the way she ignored him and didn’t even brag or flaunt her test score which was the best one in that class. The first thing she did was put it in her bag and walk away with Ricky.

“Why would I be upset that the attention isn’t on me?”

“Maybe because you’ve had the attention of others your whole life and this one time it isn’t so you’re upset. I don’t blame you, if I had gotten all the attention growing up and then suddenly someone took that away from me I’d be upset too.”

“Okay, way to take a dig at my heart.” Gunwook glared at Dayeon. “I’m okay with attention not being on me for a couple days.”

“Bullshit, it's a couple of hours not days.” Dayeon argued. “Besides, I heard Ricky’s nice, you’ll probably turn out to really like him.”

“We’ll see.”

—

“Hi,” Gunwook approached the lunch table Ricky was sitting at. Y/n, Hiyyih, and Hao were also sitting at the table. “I’m Park Gunwook, the class president. I didn’t get to introduce myself earlier.” Gunwook smiled as he held his hand out for a handshake.

“It’s okay, I’m Ricky.” Ricky smiled back and shook his hand. “Do you like it here? I hope Y/n hasn’t grown an attachment yet and sulks when someone else hangs out with you.” Gunwook jokes.

Ricky was confused.

“What’s your problem?” Y/n scoffed. “I’m just joking,” Gunwook said as he turned to Y/n. “Forget what I said.” He turned his head back to Ricky.

“I like it here, everyone’s welcoming.”

“That’s good. If you need anything I’m always here.” Gunwook said before walking back to his usual lunch table where his soccer team and more of his friends sat.

“What was that?” Dayeon asked. “Just introducing myself to Ricky.” Gunwook said. “Y/n looked mad. What did you say?” Taerae asked. “It’s nothing. I was just teasing her.”

“Give the girl a break.” Gyuvin suggested. “She already has so much on her plate with tutoring and her little sister, she does not need you teasing her.” He scolded Gunwook.

“We all know why Gunwook’s teasing her, he just wants her attention.” Dayeon spoke out. “Oh my god, are we still on this topic? I thought we were just joking?” Yujin gasped, the group had always joked about Gunwook and Y/n if they had been together.

“It’s still just a joke—it’s nothing.” Gunwook shushed at Dayeon. “Ignore what she said.”

“What are you guys doing after school?” Gunwook asked, trying to divert everyone’s attention to his question. “Well, we have practice and then after that I have my tutoring session.” Yujin answered.

“I’m free after practice.” Gyuvin said, and a couple of ‘Me too’s followed by.

“Dayeon?” Gunwook looked at the girl, in a questioning tone. “I’m free, what are we gonna do?”

“Let’s get something to eat.” Gunwook suggested. “Where to?”Gyuvin asked. “The usual convenience store, duh.” Gunwook scoffed. “Boring. Get money, stop being broke.” Taerae groaned.

“Unless you want to pay for all of us at a nice restaurant then shhh.” Gunwook nodded his head. “Yup. I can barely afford money for the vending machine.” Yujin agreed.

“Yujin, babes you can’t afford anything. You use your cuteness to get everything.” Dayeon called him out. “And I’m proud of it!” Yujin huffed.

—

“How was practice?” Dayeon asked as the group all walked into the convenience store they went to daily. “Hi, Yejun!” Dayeon said as the others waved to the cashier. “It’s like you guys live here, coming here everyday.” Yejun laughed to himself.

Yejun was a student that attended the same school as them, they didn’t have any classes with him but always saw him working at the store.

“It’s in our budget and just so good.” Gunwook placed his items on the counter and waited for the others to come to the front. “How are you?” Gunwook asked. “Good as always, it’s been a slow day.” Yejun sighed, “Did you guys just come back from practice?” He asked.

“Yeah,” Gunwook sighed. “Coach is getting tougher on us, I just hope we win our next game.”

“Hi.” Taerae dragged out as the rest of them placed their items on the counter. “Wow you guys are hungry.” Yejun said as he saw the amount of food on the counter.

“Coach is driving us crazy.” Yujin pouted. “He held us an hour later.” Yujin sulked. “Well, I can’t do much but wish you guys luck on your next game.” Yejun said.

“Oh—by the way, Y/n is here. Please don’t cause a ruckus, I don’t want to disturb the couple over there.”

“Got it.” Gunwook said as he grabbed his bag of his food. The group of friends went towards the seats they usually sat at. There was a couple sitting down a couple seats away from them as Yejun said, and then there was Y/n who was sitting down across from Gunwook’s eyesight. Her head propped up in the palm of her hand. There were books and papers scattered on the table, she was just staring down at the papers.

Y/n looked tired and drained. Gunwook grabbed a Choco Pie and walked over to her table. “Hi, you look tired.” Gunwook said as he dropped the snack on the table. Y/n slowly picked her head up. “It’s because I am.” Y/n rolled her eyes. “What is this?” Y/n asked, picking the snack up.

“A Choco Pie, duh.” Gunwook rolled his eyes. “I know what a Choco Pie—why are you giving me this?”

“You look like you need it.” Gunwook admitted. “Thanks…people have just been coming to get tutored consistently.” Y/n sighed. “It’s so tiring, like I have a life too.”

“Jeon Y/n having a life, something I’d never imagine.” Gunwook chuckled, Y/n looked up and stared at him. Gunwook could see that she hasn’t been in the joking mood due to the lack of comebacks towards him. “Uh—just ask to cancel them or ask for just one student.” Gunwook coughed, clearing his throat.

“You don’t think I’ve tried? Mr. Shin especially keeps sending his students to me for tutoring sessions. It’s so stupid and tiring, at this point I’d rather start selling my notes.” Y/n rambled on and on.

“I could help you.”

“Really?” Y/n’s body jolted up, she was now sitting with a good posture.

“No, I just wanted to tease you.” Gunwook grinned. “I’m also very busy.”

Y/n groaned and quickly shoved all her papers and books into her bag. While she was storming out books and pages fell out but she embarrassingly ran back in with pink rosy cheeks as she picked up her stuff.

—

Y/n was seen sleeping and slacking off in class recently. She had tutor sessions on top of tutor sessions every hour of the week. She could never catch a break.

The bell rang. “Have a good lunch.” Mr. Shin said. Y/n got up a little later than everyone else, shoving her books into her bag. “Y/n, I need to speak with you.” Mr. Shin spoke out, making her stop in her tracks.

Y/n closed her eyes and prayed she wouldn’t get into much trouble. “Yes?” She slowly turned around. “What’s wrong? You’re slacking, you barely passed this test.” Mr. Shin placed her graded test on his table.

“Nothings wrong…,” Y/n tried to find the right words. “Don’t lie to me, Y/n.” Mr. Shin asked firmly. “It’s nothing really—I’m just tired. I’ve been doing a lot.”

“You need to learn how to manage your schedule. Make some time for sleep and studies. No time for fun.” He scolded her. “I’d have time if I didn’t have so many tutoring sessions.” Y/n muttered under her breath. She was honestly hoping he’d hear her.

“Jeon Y/n-ah. Are you talking back? Say what you said out loud.”

“I said, I’d have time if I didn’t have so many tutoring sessions.” Y/n spoke proudly. “Y/n-ah, you tutor because it’ll look good on your applications. You asked me to send students that needed help to you. If you keep this up—.” He picked up her low test score and waved it around, “You’ll never get accepted.”

“Get yourself together, you’re a great and smart student. Don’t waste it.”

Y/n would be lying if she said she was fearless, because she’s not. The cold and confident persona she put out was mostly just an act.

Jeon Y/n was confident and did have a cold personality. She was confident in her ability to stay on top of the school's ranks and almost always had a cold and moody expression on her face.

But she wasn’t just all that. She had fears like everyone else. She feared not being accepted into a good school, she feared failing, she feared disappointing others, most of all she feared not being on top. She wanted to be the best, second place was not enough. Which was the reason her stupid rivalry with Park Gunwook lasted this long.

Park Gunwook didn’t mean to listen to their conversation, he had left his notebook in the room and needed to get it. Y/n and Mr. Shin just so happened to still be in there. He could’ve left but he was way too intrigued once he heard Shin yell at Y/n.

“What the hell!” Y/n jumped as she was met with Park Gunwooks face. “Why are you always here to witness bad moments?” Y/n groaned and stormed off.

“Y/n—wait.” Gunwook grabbed the fabric of her sweater, making her lose her balance a little. “Let me help you tutor.” He said with no hesitation. “Funny. I’m not falling for it again.”

“No seriously, let me help.”

“I don’t want your pity.” Y/n walked off before Gunwook could say another word.

Gunwook sighed.

—

“Hi, Y/n-sunbaenim.” Y/n’s junior bowed. “Hi. Are you ready for today?” Y/n asked. “Yes, I am! I think I’m starting to understand it better!”

“That’s good.” Y/n said, her attention turning to something else. One of the juniors she tutors just walked into the library. “Hyunki, what are you doing here? Our session is tomorrow.” Y/n told the girl as she sat down a seat away from her.

“Oh, Mr. Shin assigned me a new tutor!”

“Oh, is something wrong with my tutoring? Do you know who it is?” Y/n asked, she wondered why Shin suddenly decided to switch Hyunki’s tutor.

“There’s nothing wrong, I honestly don’t know why he switched my tutors. And no, I’m not sure who I got switched to.” Hyunki nodded her head. “I just hope he's good!”

“He?” There were currently no males who tutored at the school, it was all females who volunteered until now. “Yeah, it’s a guy.” Hyunki confirmed. “Oh, Okay. Then he must’ve just signed up to be a tutor.”

“Hi!” Park Gunwook said enthusiastically as he approached the table. “S-sunbaenim.” Hyunki stood up so fast she almost got whiplash. She bowed to him, bowing pretty low to hide her rosy cheeks. Most juniors admired Park Gunwook and thought he was handsome. Hyunki was one of those juniors.

“What are you doing here?” Y/n asked, her eyebrow slightly raised. “I’m tutoring Hyunki!” Y/n’s jaw almost dropped.

“You’re tutoring now? Can’t you just let me have my own thing.” Y/n groaned. “No.” Gunwook chuckled and had a teasing smile on his face.

Gunwook was helping Y/n without Y/n knowing he was helping her. She had just thought it was another attempt at trying to one up her.

—

“Hao, you won’t believe it.” Y/n said as soon as Hao picked the phone up. “Oh my god, really?!” Hao sarcastically gasped. “What happened?” He asked seriously now. “Gunwook started tutoring today. He’s literally coming for my neck. Especially since he saw my argument with Shin about it.”

“First he steals Dayeon, my top spot, and now my whole life!” Y/n said dramatically. “Your whole life?” Hao questioned. “Tutoring takes up all my time, it might as well be my life!”

“You’re overreacting. It’s not like he’ll steal your scholarship.”

“Why would you say that?” Y/n scoffed. “I’m being serious. Gunwook might be an ass to you but he wouldn’t purposely steal your scholarship.”

“Gunwook’s not that bad. He just teases a lot, especially you. He was definitely worse in middle school.” Hao huffed. “But he’s better now. Remember that short period of time where random juice boxes would show up in your bike basket after you tutored?”

“Yeah, what about it?” Y/n was wondering where Hao’s statement was going. “It was Gunwook doing it. I caught him one day. And then remember when it stopped? He probably got scared of getting caught.”

“That was him? Oh my god…no wonder the juices tasted so good! It was probably some expensive ass juice.” Y/n scoffed. “I can’t believe him. He’s so confusing, he teases me all the time but pulls this?”

“I think he actually doesn’t dislike you at all. I mean—he did start tutoring to help you.”

“To help me? That’s crazy, Hao. Why would it be helping me?” Y/n exclaimed, she was pacing around her room now. “Because you said that he always shows up at bad times, like when you and Shin are arguing. He for sure heard your complaints and wanted to help you without you knowing.”

“I mean, he did ask to help me but I said no.” Y/n thought for a second. “I thought he was just fucking with me.”

Hao scoffed. “God, your stupid rivalry is so pointless. You guys could be friends by now if you weren’t so stubborn.”

“Now, you’re blaming me?”

“Am I wrong?” Zhang Hao was not wrong at all. Y/n was stubborn, stupid stubborn. “You think everything is a competition and he just follows along with it looking for entertainment.”

“Even if he started tutoring not to help you and did it for himself you shouldn’t look at it as him trying to steal ‘your thing’. If he’s doing this to look better on applications, don’t be so hypocritical. Because you’re doing exactly that. You’re tutoring to look better on applications, are you not?”

Y/n sighed, “You’re right.” She really hated when Zhang Hao was right, and Zhang Hao is always right. She was glad he was there to bring her to her senses though, she appreciated it.

“I always am.” Hao teased, Y/n scoffed at this.

—

“Hi, Hiyyih.” Y/n said as the tall blonde approached her. “How was your grandparents' house?” Y/n asked. Hiyyih and her siblings spent the weekend at their grandparents house. “Fun, I ate well.”

“I bet you did.” Y/n chuckled. “I gotta go to the gym. Wanna come with?” Y/n shut her locker. “What for?”

“The soccer tournament, duh.” Y/n playfully rolled her eyes. “Oh—you were being serious about that.” Hiyyih’s eyes widened to surprise.

“Why would I lie about that?” Y/n asks seriously. “Because, last time anyone checked you are absolutely shit at soccer.” Hiyyih said with honesty. “If you're doing this simply because of your stupid rivalry with Park Gunwook then don’t do it.”

Y/n had been hearing that a lot recently. She even hears it from people she’s never talked to before.

“It’s not. It’ll look good on my applications. And besides, Jake is gonna help me out.” Y/n sighed.

“Jake? As in, puppy cute aussie jake?”

“Yes—puppy cute aussie jake—why do you call him that?” Y/n’s eyebrow furrowed.

“Because he’s like a cute puppy, and he’s australian.” Hiyyih shrugged her shoulders. “Jake is the only Jake at our school, who else would I be talking about?” Y/n shook her head.

“So—you’re still seriously doing this?” Hiyyih asked as they walked into the gym. A bit crowded from all the signups. “Yes, if Jake Sim said he’d teach me then I’m gonna accept.” Y/n whispered, not wanting anyone else to hear.

“He—he said that!” Hiyyih’s eyes widened. “Yes, Jake Sim would do anything to teach what he loves.” Y/n scoffed. “Oh god—is Kim Dayeon signing up.” Y/n wavered.

“She could be, or she could just be standing with Park Gunwook and Han Yujin.” Hiyyih put some serious thought into it. “Like I am with you.” She shrugged her shoulders. “We’ll see soon, c’mon.” Hiyyih dragged the two into a line.

Park Gunwook, Han Yujin, and Nishimura Riki always signed up for the fundraiser ever since it became a thing. You would think the whole soccer team would but that would just be a disadvantage.

Kim Jiwoong just had better things to do, Kim Gyuvin liked to watch the game rather than play in it once in a while, Jake Sim would actually help people practice since he wouldn’t sign up, Kim Hyunjin had better things to do like karaoke with her close friends, Lee Heeseung would rather do the basketball fundraiser than the soccer one, Hwang Intak also liked to watch rather than play more, Yang Jungwon would actually watch Heeseung play the basketball one, and Kim Sunwoo, the captain who’s in his last year was just far to competitive that he knew it was best not to sign up.

“Okay, Gunwook is taking a sheet of paper…and then Yujin…and now…”

“Okay you don’t have to narrate what’s happening.” Y/n interrupted her. “Okay, she isn’t signing up. You’re good!” Hiyyih gave her best friend a thumbs up.

“So, what team do you want to be on?” Hiyyih asked. There are four teams, red, blue, pink, and green. The sheet of paper they pick before signing up is the team they’ll get, then they’ll sign their name and grade onto the teams sheet.

“Whatever team Park Gunwook is not on.”

“Did Zhang Hao’s little speech not get through to you?” Hiyyih asked and Y/n groaned out loud. “He told you?” Y/n sighed. “Of course he did. Y/n, seriously the rivalry has to stop. What if you both end up getting into the same college and it lasts those four years as well? Your professors are not gonna put up with that shit.”

Y/n huffed. “I don’t know, I have to figure my own shit out first.”

“Hi.” Y/n said as it was her turn to pick up a small sheet of paper. “Red.” Y/n said as she turned her paper around to show Kim Hyunjin and Lee Heeseung. “Sign this sheet right here!” Hyunjin said as she handed Y/n the clipboard with the sign-up sheet.

Y/n scanned the paper to look for a specific name.

Kim MinJi | Grade 12

Moon JaeYun | Grade 12

Huh YunJin | Grade 12

Sim JaYoon/Yoon | Grade 12

Nishimura Riki/Ni-ki | Grade 11

Sohn YoungJae/Eric | Grade 12

Park GunWook | Grade 11

Kum JunHyeon | Grade 12

Naoi Rei | Grade 12

Hirota Riki/Maki | Grade 11

She wrote down her name and quietly sighed.

“Thank you so much.” Y/n smiled and placed the clipboard back down before walking off.

“So?” Hiyyih was waiting to know what made Y/n sigh. “We’re on the same team.” Y/n said bluntly. “I’ll have to be in his range of area for five hours a day for three weeks.”

—

“Hello, is everyone here? Looks like it.” Mrs. Jeo said as she quietly did a head count. “Perfect, all eleven of you are here!”

“I am Mrs. Jeo! I am the red team's coach and representative! Let’s have a safe and fun practice! Please grab a ball and pair up into four groups of two and one group of three!” Mrs. Jeo introduced herself.

Y/n was gonna walk over to Kim Minji and ask if she wanted to be partners but that was before she felt a tug on the sleeve of her shirt.

“Y/n, be my partner.” Park Gunwook said as the girl turned around. “Why?” Y/n asked, eyebrows furrowed. “Because I asked. And who wouldn’t want to be partners with the star player?” Gunwook gassed himself up.

“Me. I don’t want to.” Y/n scoffed.

“Too late. Everyone else already has a partner.” Gunwook hummed and gently grabbed her shoulders, turning the girl around to see everyone else paired up.

“Let’s grab a ball.” Gunwook gave her a taunting smile. “Oh! and these will be your partners for the three weeks! Pick someone you get along with!” Mrs. Jeo said cheerfully.

Everyone’s eyes went to Gunwook and Y/n. Gunwook who had a smile on his face and Y/n who had facepalmed.

“Kill me.” Y/n complained. “Not just yet!” Gunwook gently passed the ball to Y/n by kicking it.

“You don’t seem like a soccer girl? I remember hearing you don't do any sports actually.” Gunwook tried to make conversation with the girl as the two practiced simple passing.

“I’m not. I’m doing this for the hell of it.” Y/n excused. “For the hell of it or just to compete against me? Unfortunately we’re on the same team.” Gunwook teased.

“What made you think you could’ve beaten me anyway? No offense, but you don’t have any experience in soccer.”

“Jake Sim said he’d teach me.”

“Ah~The Jake Sim effect.” Gunwook laughed. “He always does this, instead of signing up he helps the students who absolutely suck at soccer.”

Y/n can’t even take offense to that because it’s true, she absolutely sucks at soccer.

“Tell you what, I’ll teach you if you tell Jake you don’t need to his help anymore.”

“And why would I do that?”

“Because I’m the star player, duh.” Gunwook rolled his eyes. “Yeah, but are you forgetting Jake Sim was a runner up for star player before you took the title?” Y/n reminded him.

“Yeah, but then again he isn’t star player, so.” Gunwook huffed. “Jake Hyung is good but c’mon.” Gunwook dragged the last word out.

“What do I get out of it?”

“Super awesome soccer skills, duh.”

“I could easily get that from Jake Sim.”

“Okay—then, super awesome soccer skills and more time with me.”

“More time with you? As if anyone would like that.” She scoffed. “Hyunki sure does.” Gunwook laughed. “Hyunki’s just got cute boys running in her mind, of course she’ll want to spend time with you.”

“Awh, you think I’m cute? You’re kind of cute too, Y/n.” Gunwook pinched her cheek. “You’re pushing it.” Y/n said sternly.

“Listen, I’m not so bad to be around. I’m sorry I gave you hell back in middle school and—the last three years.” He sheepishly chuckled. “Anyways, the point is that I’m only here to win so the money can go to the charity of the team's choice.”

“Just put some serious thought into it. I won’t force you to.”

—

Y/n put some serious thought into it. Maybe Gunwook coaching her could help them get along. But, would she really do that? No.

“Hi, Jake.” Y/n said as she walked up to the boy on the field. “Hi, Y/n. Are you ready?” He asked as he kicked the ball around and did a few tricks. “Okay, Showoff.” Y/n teased.

“What, you don’t wanna learn a few tricks?” Jake chuckled. “I only need to know the basics.” Y/n shrugged her shoulders.

“The basics? Please, anyone could teach you the basics. Why’d you ask me?”

“Because I know you would’ve said yes. And I know your teammates are busy doing other stuff.”

“I heard Gunwook offered to teach you, why didn’t you take the offer up.” Jake asked. “You know why.” Y/n squinted her eyes as the sun was in her way. “How’d you know anyway?” Y/n asked.

“Please, Park Gunwook and Jeon Y/n. You guys are practically a twitter hashtag trending every week.”

“I can’t stand Gunwook, why would I take his offer up if I can’t even stand him?” Y/n sighed. “Gunwook isn’t that bad. I understand you guys have a bad past but when you get to really know him he’s like a big baby.”

“Park Gunwook, a big baby?” Y/n laughed.

“You love exposing me, don’t you Hyung.” A voice was heard from behind. “Hi, Gunwookie.” Jake teased.

“Whatta’ doing here?” Jake asked. “I can’t watch you guys practice?” Gunwook responded. “Didn’t say that…just kind of…awkward…you’re just gonna watch?”

“I mean, yeah? Everyone’s busy so I’m just gonna watch you guys.” Gunwook shrugged his shoulders. “Help me teach Y/n.” Jake gestured to Gunwook to come closer. “You’re her partner anyway and on the same team.”

“I do end up teaching you after all.” Gunwook whispered as he walked past Y/n.

—

Instead of seeing Gunwook for five hours a day for the next three weeks it turned into six. It was gonna be a living hell for her.

She thought so at least.

The game was soon and they were almost three weeks into the practices plus Jake and Gunwook giving her extra help and it wasn’t so bad actually.

She started to see why people had been so obsessed over Park Gunwook. He was actually sweet and considerate. He would bring extra drinks for the three, towels to wipe sweat, and always brought an extra sweater just in case. He always offers it to Y/n when it gets colder later in the day.

She would be lying if she said that her heart didn’t beat twice as fast those couple of weeks they spent together. But she would never admit that publicly. It was too embarrassing for her and her reputation.

Gunwook pushed aside their rivalry and taught Y/n how to play soccer fairly without any arguments, or trying to start any.

“Y/n, how many times do I have to tell you. Kick harder. You’re not consistent with it.” Gunwook sighed. “I don’t care if you hit me.”

“Trust me I want to hit you.” Y/n groaned. “So why aren’t you doing so?” Gunwook scoffed. “If you get injured, our team is basically in jeopardy.” Y/n was reaching with this, there were plenty of decent Soccer players on their team.

“Please, like you’d even be able to injure me.”

“You’re really testing my patience, Park Gunwook.” Y/n stepped closer to the boy.

“Okay—that’s enough.” Jake pulled the two apart. He found it funny at first but had to stop before it got out of hand. “Take five.” Jake nervously laughed and pushed the two in the direction of the bleachers.

“You guys need to stop this shit. You can’t argue on the field during the game.” Jake scolded the two.

“We got it, Hyung.” Gunwook sighed. “Do you really? This shit has been going on for years, when is it gonna stop?” Jake rarely ever scolded the younger, and Gunwook hated it when he did.

“Yes, we do. We’ll try and get along.”

—

The two ‘got along’ you could say…?

They tried their best not to argue and stay civil with each other and it actually was kind of peaceful for a while.

It was the day of the games and Y/n’s heart was pounding with pressure and anxiety. Her leg shook up and down and her hands shaking and knuckles cracked consistently.

“You’ll do good. Don’t worry. Once you’re on the field you’ll get an adrenaline rush and do your best to keep up and win.” Gunwook assured the girl.

“How do you know that’ll happen?” Y/n asked. “We’re more alike than you think, Y/n.”

“We have the same desire to win and be the best. We get nervous and then a sudden adrenaline rush hits.”

Park Gunwook and Jeon Y/n had a lot more in common.

“Hi, Hyung! Hi, Y/n Noona.” Yujin said cheerfully as he skipped to the tent the red team was resting at.

“Hi, Yujinnie.” Gunwook ruffled the youngest hair. “Hi.” Y/n waved quietly.

“Did you see the lineup?” Yujin asked. “If you win against blue and I win against green we get to play a game against each other!”

“I did. Good luck, you should head back to your tent now. Games are starting soon!” Gunwook patted Yujin’s back.

“Good luck, Yujin.” Y/n said as well. “Thank you.” Yujin said with a big smile on his face.

Gunwook sighed. “I love that kid. A shame that he’ll lose.” Gunwook chuckled. “But he does have some rage on the field. Better watch out for him.” Gunwook warned Y/n.

“The real person you watch out for is Gyu Duho,” Ni-ki pointed out. “He plays dirty. When we had gym together he would break all the rules in the sports. He even sent a girl to the nurse’s office because he shoved her too roughly.”

“I heard he didn’t even apologize either.” Yunjin chimes in. “He’s a weirdo, and it’s drizzling so better be careful out there.”

The Pink and Green team match was up first.

It went smoothly and slid right by. It was a good match, Green (Yujin’s) team won.

Now it was time for the Red versus Blue match.

“Okay Red team! Huddle up before we go on the field!” Mrs Jeo clapped her hands and everyone huddled up.

“I want you all to do your best, have no worries and just have fun!” She exclaimed.

“Go! Go! Go!” She cheered as the team ran into the field.

“Y/n,” Gunwook said as the two were walking to their positions. “Just flow with it and don’t stress.” He patted her shoulder.

“Okay.” Y/n breathed out. “What if I do something horribly wrong and we lose?”

“I’ll bring the team to victory.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Now we have the Red versus Blue! On the Red team they have Star Player Park Gunwook and Nishimura Riki of the soccer team! Do you think Red or Blue will win?” Danielle Marsh, the sports announcer said.

“Looks like Park Gunwook and Jeon Y/n are getting along? That’s a first.” Danielle’s little laugh could be heard on the mic.

“Is that Park Gunwook’s arm around Y/n’s shoulder? Looks like the two are getting close!”

“Let’s start the match!”

The start of the match went by smoothly as well. Y/n tried her best to keep up and actually didn’t do so bad. Y/n has only seen just a couple of clips of Gunwook on the field but actually being there next to him, playing the game with him, and passing the ball to him, felt different.

It was finally halftime and Y/n was so happy she survived the first half without being as bad as she expected herself to be.

“Y/n, you’re doing good. I don’t know why you were so worried.”

“This is all new to me.” Y/n gulped her water down. “Of course I’m nervous.” She huffed. “I understand why people are so obsessed with the star player now.” Y/n confessed.

“Yeah, and why’s that?” Gunwook smirked. “I can see your passion for soccer on the field. It’s—the realest version of you, y’know?”

Gunwook hesitated for a bit before nodding his head in agreement. “Yeah.”

—

The second half of the game went even smoother now that Y/n got the hang of it.

The Red team won against the Blue team and now the final match is happening soon.

She was nervous about this last match though, she’ll have to face Gyu Duho.

Going against Green was a little more difficult for Y/n. Especially since they had more experienced players.

“Guys, be careful out there. It’s raining a little harder now so the grass is gonna be slippery, Green has players who are more experienced and rough. Put your health first.” Mrs. Jeo patted all their backs before they ran to the field.

“Looks like we got Red and Green going against each other now! For the first time it looks like Park Gunwook and Han Yujin are going against each other! Will the rage of the youngest win or the star player pull through?!”

“Star Player, blah blah blah. All they talk about is Gunwook, does that not upset you?” Duho scoffed as he and Ni-ki were battling for the ball. “Why would it? Gunwook Hyung is good. They’re not lying.”

“Still, it doesn’t bother you that they never mention you or anyone else?”

“It doesn’t. Our team is good but he makes our team better. You’re not gonna get under my skin.” Ni-ki scoffed.

“Hyung!” Ni-ki shouted as he passed the ball to Gunwook.

Gunwook kicked the ball into the goal, scoring the first point.

“Park Gunwook scores the first point for team Red!”

“Hyung. Duho’s trying to get under our skin, watch out. I’ll try and let everyone know.” Ni-ki said quickly as he passed by Gunwook.

Y/n didn’t know what was happening but she could see Ni-ki spreading some sort of word.

“Y/n.” She felt her shoulder being touched. “Duho’s gonna try and get under your skin. Don’t fall for it.” Gunwook warned the girl. “What’s he gonna say?” She asked. “Probably some shit that’ll make you mad.”

“You’re doing good, don’t let him distract you.” Gunwook teased the girl by squeezing her right cheek. “Ugh.” Y/n wiped her cheek. “Be careful with the grass.” He said before running back.

It was like Y/n was cursed because right after that Gyu Duho and her were fighting for the ball.

“How does it feel to be Gunwook’s shadow? Always second while he’s first.” Duho chuckled. “He's a star player, you’re nothing. He’s top of class, your top two. He's the class president, and you're just the girl who lost to him.”

“He’s Kim Dayeon’s best friend and you used to be her best friend.”

Duho knew he struck a nerve, it was perfect timing for him to steal the ball and ‘accidentally’ kick the back of her leg making her slip.

Y/n didn’t move, it wasn’t like she was injured super bad she just needed to take a breather…on the grassy muddy ground.

“Looks like Jeon Y/n is down! Is she okay…do we need to get a medic? Omg.”

“We can’t tell if that was a foul or not. It could’ve been an accident.”

“Looks like she’s good! She’s up but I don’t think she’ll be able to continue, looks like she’s limping. Park Gunwook is running to the scene and…helping Y/n!? He’s got his arm around her shoulders helping her to the sidelines. I think this is the end of their rivalry.”

“Are you okay?” Gunwook asked in a panic tone. “I’m good, I think my ankles just sprained, I’ll be fine. Just—win the match and best Gyu Duho.”

“What’d he say to you?”

“Some shit that got under my skin.”

Yujin ran over to Duho. “Dude. What was that for? We play fair on the field.” Yujin scoffed. “Dude? Where’s your respect for your senior?”

“Respect? Respect my ass, bro.” Yujin scoffed before he ran to the sidelines to check on Y/n before the match began again.

“I’m so sorry about that, noona.” Yujin apologized frantically. “Don’t be sorry. It was Duho’s fault. He’s such an ass.”

“I can purposely be bad so you guys can win!? Or not pass the ball to him.” Yujin suggested. “Don’t do that, I want us to win fairly.” Gunwook said.

“Just play how you would usually play.”

—

Red team celebrated their win with pizza at a restaurant in the city.

“Gyu Duho sucks, like he can literally kiss my ass.” Y/n said out loud. “Y/n! Don’t speak so inappropriately.” Mrs. Jeo scolded the girl.

“But you are not wrong.” She muttered. “What he did tonight on the field was unfair and wrong! What he did to our Y/n should not have gone over everyone’s head!” Mrs. Jeo complained.

“Look at her.” Mrs. Jeo pointed to Y/n who was sitting with a straight face. “Oh—I’m like good actually, I can handle this pain, but thank you for the awesome speech.” Y/n nodded her head.

“Thank you, Y/n.” She put her hands on her chest like her heart was warmed. “Now excuse me, I have to go to the ladies room.”

“So like, what did he say to everyone on the field?” Huh Yunjin asked. “If he did—he was gonna say some shit to me but then I told him to shut up.”

“He was talking about Gunwook being the star player and how he overshines the soccer team but I said it didn’t bother me.” Ni-ki shrugged his shoulders. “Do I? I don’t mean too…” Gunwook asked and went quiet. “I mean—yeah but it’s good. Our team is good but you make it better. It’s not your fault you were gifted with awesome soccer skills.”

“I wasn’t gifted.” Gunwook awkwardly chuckled. “I just practiced a lot when I was younger.”

“Uh—what did he say to you Y/n? If you want to share it.” Gunwook made sure Y/n felt comfortable in the environment, knowing she rarely ever went out. “I’ll—I’ll tell you later. When I feel like it.”

—

Gunwook offered to give Y/n a ride and she accepted, who wouldn’t? It was cold out and Y/n could barely walk without a limp.

“About earlier, when I said I’ll tell you what Duho said to me.” Y/n broke the silence. “Yeah, what about it?” Gunwook’s head tilted slightly.

“Duho was comparing us. He asked how I felt about being in your shadow. He used every example he could, like how you’re ranked one and I’m ranked two, and how you’re a star player and I do nothing, how you’re class president and I was the girl that lost to you. The one that really hit a nerve was when he mentioned Kim Dayeon and how you’re her best friend now and I’m not.” Y/n wasn’t planning on telling him what he had said due to it actually being true.

“I tried to stop caring about what happened but I can’t. Especially since me and Dayeon used to be so close. To be honest, I had the fattest crush on her.” Y/n laughed out loud. “You did?” Gunwook gasped. “Was it not obvious?”

“I just thought you guys were really close and you didn’t want to lose her.” He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry, again. For all that shit I did in middle school and for the other shit I did that may have hurt you.”

“You’re not a shadow of me. We’re both good at our own stuff. Like how you put so much time into tutoring others. I literally want to quit tutoring so bad right now.” He chuckled. “I don’t know how you deal with everyone. Hyunki literally keeps trying to flirt with me.”

Y/n scoffed. “Almost every one of my students is scared of me, I don’t know why.”

“Maybe it’s the straight face you’re pulling right now, it’s a little intimidating.” Gunwook waved his hand to her face.

“Can we settle this? I don’t want to have any more bad blood with you anymore.” Gunwook asked, looking at the girl as he stopped at a red light.

“Yes, oh my god I don’t know how long I could keep this stubbornness up. Like I’m so sick and tired of trying to one up you.” Y/n sighed. “I’ll admit it and say I just hated not being first and took that out on you, but after hearing—from literally everyone on how stupid our rivalry is I’m finally starting to see their point.”

“I never hated you Y/n. I liked to tease you back then because of how cute your little angry face was. It’s still cute now.” Gunwook confessed to the girl.

“Haha—Thanks.” She laughed awkwardly, she wasn’t used to compliments like this. Especially from someone she’s been feuding with for years.

—

Y/n and Gunwook didn’t talk during school, they would only wave to each other in the morning and that was it. They had settled their bad blood but that didn’t mean they were friends.

“So wait—you guys are cool now?” Hao asked. “Yeah, we settled the rivalry but we aren’t friends. It’s kind of embarrassing to me.”

“How is that embarrassing?” Hiyyih asked. “Because everyone knows how much I’ve slandered him over the years, I can’t be caught as a hypocrite!” Y/n spit out. “So now everyone will only think we wave to each other because he helped me on the field.”

“So, you guys are cool…but you guys aren’t friends? So you’re pretending like you guys didn’t have a heart to heart?” Ricky asked, confused with Y/n’s shenanigans as always.

“Yes! Exactly that!”

“And why again?” Ricky asked again. “Because I can’t be caught being a hypocrite all close to him when last week I was literally talking shit about him and his goofy ass highlighter jersey.” Y/n huffed. “But when we had practices he was actually so nice to me I can’t believe I slandered him so much in my lifetime.” Y/n sighed. “And I actually admire his passion for soccer after seeing him play on the field in real time.”

“So you’re hiding secret feelings for him because you don’t want to be caught as a hypocrite?”

“Yes.”

“Y/n that’s so stupid.”

“I’ve never heard something so dumb.”

“Are you for real?”

All three of her friends said to her.

“Yes, I am for real! My reputation is in jeopardy if this ever gets out!”

—

“So you guys are good now?” Kim Dayeon asked Park Gunwook. “Yeah, we’re good. But I don’t think she wants us to be friends.”

“Why?”

“Because all we do is wave to each other…that’s weird.” Gunwook looked around the room trying not to make eye contact with Dayeon. “Why are you looking around the room? I’m right here?” Dayeon asked.

“Okay, don’t tell anyone this but—we had a heart to heart but it was about some shit that Gyu Duho said and he mentioned you so you were in the conversation.”

“Okay…what did he say?”

“He said some shit about Y/n being my shadow and he even went as far as mentioning how I’m your best friend now and she’s not…that’s why she froze up and he took the opportunity to trip her.”

“He said that!? That’s so evil, oh my god.” Dayeon gasped. “I’ll beat his ass—why would he even say that.”

“Because he was trying to get under all our skins! It was such a jerk move.”

“Where is he right now?” Dayeon asked, standing up from her seat. “Woah—Dayeon you’re not seriously gonna beat him up—right?” Gunwook asked as the girl started walking out the classroom.

“No?” Dayeon’s eyebrow furrowed. “I’m just gonna beat him at basketball, duh.”

“What are you gonna do 1v1?”

“No, you’re crazy, I’m good at basketball but Duho’s better. That’d be setting me up for failure.” Dayeons eyes widened. “I’ll get a team of four.”

“Good idea.”

“I know. I get Heeseung and Kim Hyunjin, and you get Ricky.”

“Woah Woah—Ricky? I’m getting Ricky?” Gunwook stopped Dayeon before she could run off. “This is not a time to be jealous, Park Gunwook.”

Dayeon ran to find Heeseung and Hyunjin. Gunwook stood there for a while before deciding to go find Y/n. Because wherever Y/n was, Ricky was with her.

Ever since Ricky started school here he’s been attached to Y/n, Hao, and Hiyyih at the hip. Besides the times he’d go and play basketball with Dayeon or anyone else at the school court.

“Y/n.” Gunwook said, gasping as he reached the lunch table where Y/n, Hao, and Hiyyih were sitting. “Where’s Ricky?”

“He’s at the basketball court, why?” Y/n asked, confused. “Okay good—he’s already there.” Gunwook said in between breaths. “There is about to be an epic awesome amazing 4v4 game going on. Let’s go.” Gunwook grabbed the girl's arm and she grabbed Hao’s and Hiyyih’s.

“Guys—can we walk at least?” Hao shouted.

—

“So why do we need to be here?” Y/n asked, slightly squinting her eyes since the sun was in her way. Gunwook switched spots with her so the sun wouldn’t blind her. “Dayeon’s gonna 4v4 Gyu Duho and Ricky’s apart of her team.”

Hao’s eyes slightly widened and his head turned to look at Hiyyih. They were shocked at Gunwook’s kind gesture. “Let’s sit on the bleachers. I heard news about it is already spreading.” Gunwook said as he dragged the three to the first row of bleachers.

“Why is she having a basketball match with him?” Y/n asked. “I told her about what he did to you at the soccer game.” Y/n’s jaw slightly dropped. “She’s doing this all because of what he did?”

“Yeah, Dayeon still cares about you, y’know? She never stopped.” Y/n went quiet. “It’s about to start.” She was grateful that changed the subject.

“For reals though, who do you think is gonna win? Because everyone on Dayeon’s team is good but everyone on Duho’s team is also good.” Hiyyih asked. “C’mon, Dayeon got Ricky. Ricky’s so good.” Hao scoffed. “Yeah, did you hear how everyone wants to go against Ricky because they couldn’t believe how good he was.” Y/n said next.

“Is he that good? I’ve never seen him play.” Gunwook asked. “Really?” Y/n gasped. “He’s so good, he’s like your level of good but basketball.” Y/n nodded her head.

Gunwook did not like being compared to Ricky at all. Yeah the guy was probably really good, but Gunwook just didn’t like being compared to him. Especially since Y/n was over here gassing him up.

“Am I really that good, Jeon Y/n.” Gunwook teased. “Hmm…You wish.” Y/n flicked his forehead. “This is about Ricky, stop looking for attention.” She flicked his forehead again.

—

“Can’t believe they won.” Duho was complaining to his teammates. “They aren’t even that good, especially Dayeon, can’t believe we got beat by a girl.”

“Say that shit to my face. You wanna act all big and tough during the soccer game but won’t even talk shit to my face?” Dayeon spoke out, she heard them talking as she walked by.

“What’s the soccer game got to do with this?” He scoffed, walking closer to her. “Nothing, it’s just you played really unfairly and I thought you needed a loss in life.”

“That Y/n girl deserved it, she’s so annoying.”

“Don’t speak about her like that.” Dayeon scoffed in disbelief.

“Yeah? What are you gonna do about it if I do?” Duho pushed Dayeons shoulders. “Hit me I dare you.” Dayeon pushed him back.

“Woah! Woah!” Gunwook pulled the two apart. “Guys not here.” He held Dayeon back.

“Dayeon, not now.” Gunwook pulled the girl aside.

“Hello?? You never get into fights, what was that?” Gunwook asked. “It was nothing, he was just being an ass.”

“Let’s just—Let’s go cool off at the convenience store.”

—

The silence was loud and awkward as the six of them stared at each other.

“Thank you again, Dayeon. You didn’t have to.” Y/n thanked Dayeon for the third time this day. “Oh, I had to. Gyu Duho is an ass and deserved to lose. And can you believe he was being misogynistic?” Dayeon scoffed. “He really couldn’t believe he got beat by a girl.”

“Two girls, Kim Hyunjin’s insane.” Ricky chimed in. “Two! Two! and he was so baffled. What is so hard about believing girls can be good at basketball.”

“He’s just like every other jerk, it’s not surprising.” Hao shrugged his shoulders.

“My brother is here, Y/n are you sure you don’t need a ride?” Hiyyih asked as she clicked her phone off. “Yeah, I literally have a tutoring session in a couple minutes.” Y/n checked the time on her phone.

“Okay, get sleep tonight and please for the love of god do not overwork yourself.” Hiyyih blew a kiss to the girl before leaving the shop with Hao and Ricky behind.

“Bye, guys. We’ll see you whenever.” Ricky said as Hao waved bye.

“Y/n, I hope we’re cool now.” Dayeon said as she sat up. “We’ve always been ‘cool’, I never had a problem with you.” Y/n chuckled. “It’s you, I had a problem with.” Y/n pointed her finger towards Gunwook.

“You were just so fun to tease, Y/n-ah. If you saw your face and reactions, you would do the same.” Gunwook patted the girl's head. “I hope we’re cool too.” Gunwook smiled.

“Yeah, if you keep this shit up that chance is very low.”

—

Gunwook started a part time job at the convenience store to fill his time. Also because he would see Y/n fall asleep every Tuesday and Thursday when she tutored those two students after school and he could play hero and wake her up.

Seriously though, he wished the girl would stop falling asleep because something bad can happen to her.

Gunwook sighed as he walked in for his shift, pulling his uniform vest over his head before walking over to Y/n.

“Y/n.” He gently shook the girl awake. Y/n groaned as she awoke from her sleep. “Gunwook, you could’ve just let me sleep.” She sighed. “And what let some weird guy take advantage of you? Certainly not.” He scoffed.

“I know you would’ve beaten his ass for me.” She mumbled as she put her belongings on the table away in her bag.

“Eat something before you go, on the house. As always.” Gunwook offered. “Thanks, but my sister is at home waiting for me. I need to eat with her.”

“Bring her food then. Just pick anything.”

“Why are you being so nice?” Y/n asked. “Remember, I want us to be cool. Although I really do want to keep our top student rivalry still a thing…” He said hesitantly. “Don’t worry. I want to as well.” Y/n chuckled. “You know how embarrassing it’ll be when people start calling me a hypocrite. Especially since last week I called your stupid sweater ugly and everyone heard me.”

“You’re just a fucking hater it was not ugly.”

“You’re right, I am a hater. The sweater was kind of cute. I just wanted to insult you.”

“Awh, want to borrow it?”

“Yeah, so I can burn it!”

—

“Y/n.” One of Y/n’s classmates called her name out. “Hm?” Y/n looked up from her paper. “What’s going on with you and Gunwook? I feel like I haven’t seen you guys argue all week.”

“Oh—bad week? I don’t know.” Y/n awkwardly laughed. “Yeah, bad week! I just don’t feel like wasting my breath on him.”

“Oh, okay.” Her classmate just nodded her head before turning back to her paper.

Y/n stopped by the convenience store to talk to Gunwook. “Hiiii.” Y/n dragged out. “Hi, you’re in a good mood?” Gunwook’s eyebrow raised. “I am, because look!” Y/n pulled out her test paper. “I overheard you tell Yujin your test score on the english test and when I had his class and got mine that was when I found out I did better, hah!”

“Blah blah, we all know you’re better at English.” Gunwook shushed the girl. “Oh, and people are starting to get suspicious of us. We need to start arguing again.”

“We argue, like—all the time? We literally argued about milk earlier today.” Gunwook shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, that’s not selling it.” Y/n huffed.

“What, you want me to go back to calling you out on everything? That was too mean of me, and I don’t want to upset you again.”

Y/n just stared at the boy and sighed. He was being so sweet it was hard for her not to fall for him.

“C’mon, I’m never losing the “i don’t give a fuck” war. I don’t care anymore. Let’s go back to arguing like we used to. People aren’t buying what we’re selling right now.”

“Okay, but if you get upset it’s on you.” He pointed at the girl. “Hi, welcome to GS25.” Gunwook said as he heard the bell of the door go off.

“Today’s kind of slow. My shift might end early, want to hang out after?” Gunwook asked as he was organizing the lip balms on the counter. “Just us two?” Y/n hesitantly asked. “If you want it to be,” Gunwook shrugged his shoulders. “You can invite Bahiyyih. I know guys are really close.”

“Sure then.” Y/n nodded her head. “Is it fine if I also invite Gyuvin?”

“Why wouldn’t it be? If i’m inviting Hiyyih you should be able to invite Gyuvin. But,” She dragged out the last word. “If it’s my house we’re hanging out at he better not trash it, you know how clumsy he is.”

—

Y/n shut her phone off and put it in her pocket. “Hiyyih is busy, she can’t make it. What about Gyuvin?” She asked as Gunwook took off his vest. “Gyuvin can’t make it either, he’s with some family right now. What about Hao? I know Ricky and Dayeon are playing ball right now.”

“He’s on a date with Sung Hanbin.” Y/n said. “It’s just us then, we don’t have to hangout…”

“Wait—he’s on a date with Sung Hanbin?” Gunwook’s eyes widened. “Like Sung Hanbin? Sung Hanbin, the one he’s been in a rivalry with since the beginning of the year?”

“Who else? Yeah, I was surprised too. Hao told me they were assigned as partners for bio and they started to get along and then they randomly kissed one night while researching.” Y/n shrugged her shoulders as she clutched into her tote bag that hung on her right shoulder.

“Do you still want to hang out?” Y/n watched as Gunwook was cleaning up for the next person's shift. “Yeah, we can. I’m good with hanging at your house, don’t you have to watch your sister anyway?” Gunwook said as he threw away the cleaning wipe and grabbed his bag.

“She’s fourteen, she can watch herself. I just get worried sometimes so I have Hiyyih hang out with her.” Y/n and Gunwook walked out of the store and walked to his car.

“It’s late, let’s hang out at your house.” Gunwook beeped his car and opened the door for Y/n then walked to the drivers side. “But it’s late, like you said. Don’t you have to be home too?” Y/n put her seatbelt on.

“My parents are out for dinner right now, I have time to kill.”

“Oh, okay.” Y/n nodded her head. “What are we gonna do? I hope it’s not awkward, I don’t really have anything fun at my house.”

“Talk? We can talk. I like talking.” Gunwook nodded his head. “Half of the time you tell me to shut the fuck up?? What do you mean you like to talk?” Y/n scoffed and her jaw dropped.

“I just like to get on your nerves.” Gunwook chuckled.

—

“Hi, Hayun.” Y/n said as she took her shoes off at the door, Gunwook as well. “How was school?” She asked as she hung her tote bag on the hooks on the wall, walking into the kitchen where her sister was at, with Gunwook behind her. “It was good. Who’s this?” Hayun asked as she looked up from her phone screen.

“Park Gunwook.”

“Park Gunwook? That guy you’re always shit talking about? Why is he here, don’t you hate him?” Hayun gasped. “It’s—complicated. We’ve squashed that beef.” Y/n’s head slightly tilted. “Mhm, because that’s totally something you’d do.” Hayun’s eyebrows furrowed. “Listen, I know. We’re cool but we still act all mean to each other around people.” Y/n sighed and slapped Gunwook’s shoulder.

“Gunwook, this is my little sister Hayun. She’s just like me so watch out.” Y/n cheekily smiled. “Wow, twice the torture for me.” Gunwook said sarcastically. “I’m not as bad as my Unnie. Don’t worry.” Hayun scoffed.

“Did you call mom and dad?” Y/n asked as she jumped to sit on top of the counter. “By the way, snack in this cabinet. You can take anything, just not my cookies.” Y/n hit the cabinet next to her. “Yeah, we talked about you.”

“Bad or good?” Y/n sucked in her breath. “Good, of course. But they’re seriously worried about you. When are you gonna stop doing these academic lessons?”

“Like—uh, never. Duh.” Y/n scoffed. “My teacher is on my ass bro, whenever I ask to get less sessions he talks about how I’m a good student and should keep this up in order to get into a good college.”

“Man, fuck college.”

“If mom heard you say that right now you’d get bitch snapped.” Y/n’s eyes widened. Hayun and Y/n were alike in many ways but Hayun didn’t have any big plans in life whilst Y/n did.

“But she isn’t.”

“Where are your parents? If you don’t mind me asking.” Gunwook cleared his throat. “They’re retail buyers. So they’re always out on business trips. Like all the time.” Y/n dragged out the last word. “At this point this is just me and Hayuns house.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Don’t you guys ever miss them or something? I feel like I’d go insane if I didn’t have my mom with me, she helps me with everything.”

“We do. But this happens so often we got used to it.” Hayun nodded her head. “Don’t have that concerned look on your face. Really, it’s nothing.” Y/n ruffled Gunwook’s hair. “Did you just ruffle my hair?”

“Yeah even that was weird for me.” Hayun had a face of disgust on. “I was trying to be nice.” Y/n’s jaw dropped. “Yeah, maybe don’t be nice.” Hayun teasingly smiled at her.

“Unnie, we don’t have anything fun here. Why did you invite Gunwook over?” Hayun groaned. “Because, we just both happened to be free? And besides, I don’t want to leave you alone. Gunwook said his parents are out for dinner and he doesn’t wanna sit at home doing nothing.”

“So you invited him here? Why couldn’t you guys just go get something to eat?”

“Yah, you already want to get rid of me? Are you secretly inviting boys over? Or even girls? Or even throwing parties?”

“Who do you think I am?” Hayun dramatically leaned onto Y/n. “I just wanted some friends over. Can I?” Hayun put her best puppy face on. “It’s late, your friend's parents are gonna let them come? I don’t care, I just don’t want someone’s mom to come lecturing me.”

“It’s only eight! It’ll be a sleepover!”

“Just let her, my parents rarely let friends over when I was her age and I almost rioted against them.” Gunwook suggested. “I’m not her parent, if anything bad happens I’ll get blamed.” Y/n scoffed.

“Please.” Hayun begged. “Fine, just clean up after yourselves.” Y/n gently shoved Hayun away.

“I knew you’d say yes! I already invited them over…they’re almost here.” Hayun confessed. “I know you did. I smelled popcorn the minute I walked in here. Y/n got close to her face and teased her by pinching her cheek.

“Can you guys hangout in your room or something?” Hayun shoved her sister away. “My room?” Y/n gasped. “Are you embarrassed of us?” Y/n turned her head towards Gunwook. “Do you hear this girl?” She scoffed.

“I’m embarrassed of you, not Gunwook.” Hayun said. “Whatever. Just have fun.” Y/n squeezed Hayun’s right cheek for the last time before gesturing to Gunwook. “Let’s go find something to do.” She said as she grabbed her cookies from the cabinet and led the way to her room.

“This is my room. Nothing impressive.” Y/n shrugged as the two walked into the off white colored room. “Damn, you might have more awards than me.” Gunwook chuckled as he saw the amount of awards hung up on the wall and displayed on the girls bookshelf.”

“Best badminton player?” Gunwook’s head tilted slightly as he saw the award on her shelf. “I didn’t know you played badminton?”

“Only for a little.” Y/n was setting her bed up for the two to sit on. “For a year when I was fourteen. I won the award and then I quit.”

“You quit? Why waste talent?” Gunwook asked as he looked back at the girl. “I’m an overachiever. I quit badminton to join the debate club so I can win a medal.” Y/n said. “Damn, you’re worse than me.” Gunwook laughed.

“I blame my parents.” Y/n chuckled. “They’re both overachievers who are perfect for each other.” She patted the spot next to her on her bed, gesturing for him to sit.

“They practically push everything onto me.” Her face scrunched up slightly. “I don’t even want to go to college that bad. My parents want me in medical school.” Gunwook sat on the bed next to her.

“I’m just doing everything because I’m told to, and achieving all that is kind of worthless but feels nice.”

“What do you want to do?” Gunwook asked with pure curiosity. “I don’t know to be honest. If I live life tutoring students then so be it.” She shrugged her shoulders. “It’s almost like it’s all I know now.”

“That’s not true. There must be something you do like, right?” He asked. “You seem to have no control in your life…no offense. It’s just you’re almost graduating soon and you don’t know what you want to do for yourself?”

“You’re so competitive with me over every academic thing but you’re not getting anything out of it. What if you go to medical school, you're rich but not happy?”

Y/n went silent for a second. Processing what Gunwook was saying.

“No offense taken. You’re right, I don’t know what I’m doing with life.” Y/n sighed. “What do you want to do?” Y/n asked to switch the subject to him. “I want to do soccer professionally, if that doesn’t work out I’ll train to be an idol, and if not that then I’ll go to college for Music.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to do that.” Y/n hummed and nodded her head. “I think you’d be a good idol.”

“I’ve never told anyone but Dayeon that, you have to promise to not tell anyone else.” Gunwook panicked and told the girl. “Don’t worry, secrets are safe with me.” She chuckled. “Do you dance too?”

“Yeah, I dance at this studio near my house.”

“Cool. I hope it turns out well for you. You’d be a good professional soccer player as well, it’s your specialty.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want that to be what people only know me for.” He complained. “Like how people know you for being the school’s official tutor.” He teased the girl. “God, I need to quit, but I make a fair amount of money from it.” She groaned and fell back into her pillows.

The two heard a couple of shrieks from the living room. “If they’re watching a horror movie it better be a good one and not some corny one for them to be screaming like that.” Y/n stood up and peaked out her door to check on the girls.

“They’re fine.” She shut her door and went back to lay on her bed.

“That’s good, at least you’re making money. Seriously, when is Shin gonna get off your ass.” Gunwook sighed. “When I told him I wanted to tutor to help you he almost picked a fight with me.”

“Really? How?” Y/n held herself up with her elbow. “He said that you didn’t need help, and said that I was already super busy with being class president and soccer.”

“Well, he’s kind of right. You didn’t need to do that.” Y/n hummed. “I wanted to help you.” Gunwook shrugged his shoulders. “I never really had anything against you, we’re just both equally as competitive and equally as stubborn.”

“Y/n, I mean it when I want us to be cool.” Gunwook nodded his head. “I know.” Y/n said hesitantly. “I’m still getting used to being friends with you.”

“I get it. Just be yourself around me—but not the one where we argue all the time.” He corrected himself. “It gets tiring arguing all the time.” He confessed. “I know.” Y/n had a slight face of disgustment.

“Wanna watch a movie? Or even listen to some music? You like kpop, right?” Y/n asked as she flipped through her CD folder. “Yeah, what do you have?” Gunwook asked as he watched the girl flip through CD’s.

“Same dream, same mind, same night.” Y/n pulled the album CD and put it into her CD player. “By Seventeen, do you listen to them?”

“Who doesn’t?” Gunwook scoffed. “If you don’t then I’ll just assume you’re a loser.” He chuckled. “You’re right, Seventeen is for the cuties.” Y/n agreed as she laid back down on her stomach. “Did you just call me a cutie, Jeon Y/n?” He teased the girl. “Hm, I called myself a cutie. If the shoe fits though.” Y/n mumbled, getting a little reckless due to her tiredness.

“This song is so nice and dreamy, I love it.” Y/n mumbled some more. “Don’t fall asleep on me.” Gunwook laughed as he saw the girl close her eyes for a while. “You’re right. That’d be awkward.” She said as she sat back up.

“It’s getting really late, are your parents still not home yet?” Y/n asked as she checked the time on her watch. “They should be there soon. I should get going as well.” He sighed. “I’ll walk you out.” Y/n stands up and throws a sweater on to walk the boy out.

“I’ll see you tomorrow? At the park, let’s watch Dayeon and Ricky’s game.” Y/n said as she slid her slides on and Gunwook put his shoes on. “Yeah, do you not have any sessions tomorrow?” He asked as the two walked outside to his car.

“I canceled all of them.”

“Woah? All of them? What will Shin say?”

“Screw what he says. I’m sick of his shit.” Y/n groaned. “I’ll see you, okay? Drive safe.” Y/n said.

“I would give you a hug but I feel like we aren’t that cool with each other yet.” Y/n said hesitantly. “Who said that?” Gunwook unexpectedly grabbed the girl by her waist and hoisted her up over his shoulder. “We’re gonna be best friends, Jeon Y/n!” Gunwook spun around in a circle as Y/n laughed and pleaded to get put down.

“Best friends, my ass.” Y/n genuinely laughed, trying to catch her breath. “Goodnight, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” Y/n chuckled and punched his shoulder.

“Okay, bye.” Gunwook chuckled and finally got into his car. Y/n waved bye until his car was at the end of the street.

She turned around to see Hayun and three of her friends watching her from the window. She walked back to the house and slipped her jacket and shoes off at the doorstep.

“Unnie, was that your boyfriend?” One of Hayun’s friends asked. “No, do you guys think we’re together?” Y/n asked. “Yes! He lifted you up, and even spun you!”

“Yeah, we’re just friends.” Y/n nodded her head. “Don’t stay up too late.” She gave a small smile to Hayun and her friends before walking back to her room.

—

“Hi.” Y/n said as she and Gunwook approached Dayeon who was already with Ricky and Hyunjin. “Hi, you guys seem unusually close lately.” Dayeon pointed out as she pointed to Gunwook’s arm resting on Y/n’s shoulder.

“Yeah, ever since we first started playing games at this park.” Ricky spoke out. “What? Me and Gunwookie are friends now.” Y/n slightly gasped and teased the boy by pinching his cheek.

“She even called him Gunwookie, oh my god we’ve lost her.” Ricky jokes. “This is nice, we’re just not used to it.” Dayeon smiled, talking about the two getting along without any problems. “Trust me, it wasn’t easy for me to get used to it either.” Y/n chuckled.

“When are you guys playing?” Gunwook asked, squinting slightly due to the sun being in his eyes. “Soon. Is hiyyih or hao coming?” Ricky asked. “Hiyyih has a family thing and Hao is on a date.”

“Is Hao still talking to Sung Hanbin?” Dayeon asked, curious on the two’s relationship status due to their known dynamic between the two. “Talking? They’re practically dating now.” Y/n scoffed.

“That’s so crazy. They used to have such a huge rivalry, and now they’re giggling and probably shit talking together.”

“Honestly could be you guys.” Dayeon gestured at Y/n and Gunwook who were standing next to each other almost hip to hip by now. “Pft, no.” Y/n laughed as she took a step away from the boy. “Gunwook’s cute, I’m busy, dating just isn’t in my schedule.”

“So you admit he’s cute?”

“Yeah, I have no shame.” Y/n shrugged her shoulders and looked at the boy who was slightly red. Y/n slowly stopped caring about keeping their rivalry image up. She started to admit things that would’ve made her die hearing it months ago.

“What, I can’t call friends cute.” Y/n said as she saw the stares her friends gave her. “Ouuu, she just friendzoned you.” Ricky teased Gunwook as he patted his shoulder. “You’re cute too, Y/n-ah.” Gunwook ruffled her hair.

“Ugh, I hate you guys.” Dayeon groaned and walked away to the bleachers, the rest following her behind. “Sometimes I miss when you guys used to argue 24/7. People at school are starting to talk.” Dayeon mentioned as she sat down next to Y/n.

“I don’t care anymore, people can talk.” Y/n sighed. “Shin is getting on my ass about me canceling these sessions.” Y/n ran her fingers between her hair, getting it out of her face due to the wind. “I still have good credits and a good GPA, I’m not gonna fail yet it’s like he still wants me to do all this shit.”

“He’s making you do all his dirty work. Just quit it all together.” Hyunjin suggested as she stretched. “But I feel bad for the kids, they actually need help with their studies and Shin isn’t gonna help them with shit.” Y/n sighed.

“I’ll beg him to take half of your students.” Gunwook suggested. “That’s too much, I have like twelve students.” Y/n sighed. “We can split it equally, I take six and you keep six.”

“No, really it’s okay.”

“Y/n, you’re so stubborn just let him help you.” Ricky spoke out. “And so is Gunwook, if you two keep this up you won’t get anywhere.” Dayeon said.

“Fine.” Y/n huffed. “I don’t know how you’ll convince Shin to let you take half of my students.”

—

“Mr. Shin.” Gunwook walked up to his desk. “I wanted to talk to you about something.” Mr. Shin turned his attention to the boy. “What is it?” He asked.

“Wait, Y/n. Can you wait at your seat? I need to talk to you after.” Mr. Shin stopped the girl before she could leave the classroom.

“I wanted to ask if I can tutor more of Y/n’s students? Just half, she has six and I’ll have six. Just to take some things off her back.” Gunwook spoke.

“Why? Y/n is doing fine. Aren’t you super busy with class president duties and soccer? Aren’t you in the debate club too?”

“I assure you I can do this.” Gunwook assured the older man. “Have you noticed how much she’s been canceling?” Gunwook turned his head to the girl behind him.

Mr. Shin sighed. “That’s what I wanted to talk to Y/n about.” He gestured to the girl to come over to his desk. “Y/n, I was told you were seen at the park the other day. You told me you were sick, did you lie to me?”

“Uh—Yes, Mr. Shin.” Y/n said hesitantly. Thinking it was better to tell the truth now than to get caught later. “Why? You have such a bright future ahead. These sessions will help your application look amazing.”

“To be completely honest…I hate doing these sessions. The only good thing that comes out of these is students' grades are improving.”

“What are you saying? You don’t want to go to college? What about medical school? Your parents have spoken very highly of you and how amazing your future will be.”

“Yeah, a future they want. I don’t want to do any of that.” Y/n sighed. “I’ll continue doing the tutor sessions. Only to help the students out. Let Gunwook take half of my students, I have a life of my own. I don’t want to spend my last years of high school spending it in books. I want to make time for myself.”

“I’m not gonna quit it completely, I just want you to understand that I do not have all the time in the world to help other kids while I can barely help myself.”

“You’re good at negotiating, Y/n. Fine, Gunwook can take half your students. Next time tell me the truth. You guys can go now.” He shooed the two out of his room.

“That last part was a little dramatic.” Gunwook mumbled, only for the girl to hear. “I know, I needed to really sell it.” Y/n mumbled back.

—

“I love driving in the spring.” Gunwook shouted as they had blasted music playing through his car. “I love the wind in my face and the warm weather!” He shouted yet again.

“We’re getting stares.” Y/n laughed as she slightly turned down the music. “We’re blasting Seventeen, it’d be weird if we didn’t get stares.” He shrugged his shoulders, pulling into the school parking lot.

“I think it’s because you just drove me to school, not the fact that we’re blasting Seventeen.” Y/n chuckled as she unbuckled her seatbelt.

“Let’s go.” Gunwook turned his car off and unlocked the doors. “Wow, you guys truly stopped giving a fuck.” Hao laughed as the two approached the group of friends that hung around a pillar in the school’s courtyard.

“It was like that one Twilight scene that happened, where all the siblings walk out of the car.” Hiyyih said. “Are we that cool, Hiyyih?.” Y/n smirked. “Cool? Sure, I guess. Big impact? Yes.” Hiyyih laughed.

“I can’t wait to hear what everyone thinks of this.” Dayeon chuckled. “This might be even bigger than me and Hanbin.” Hao raised his eyebrow as he spoke.

“Right, especially since Gunwook and Y/n have had this rivalry shit since middle school.” Hiyyih nodded her head. “I hope they don’t bring up the fact that I talked shit about his pants last week.” Y/n mumbled slightly.

“You’re my biggest hater, y’know that?” Gunwook looked at the girl with widened eyes.

—

All day Y/n heard whispers around her. Either bad or good ones, there was no inbetween.

“Wasn’t she talking shit about him like three days ago? Something about his pants.”

“Yeah, and what about the time she called his sweater ugly? And her huge ass problem of always wanting to beat him at anything?”

“Yeah, she’s just a big fake. I hope he realizes that soon.”

“Y/n, if I beat you to the cafeteria you have to buy me three chocolate bars from the store.” Gunwook spoke out as he sat down in the empty spot next to the girl. “What do I get if I beat you?” Y/n asked.

“You get to borrow my awesome sweater you love.” Gunwook teased. “I might as well then just walk.” Y/n scoffed. “Fine, then you decide what you want.”

The two were waiting for the bell to ring so they could start the bet.

As soon as it did, they sprinted out of the room, they made sure not to bump into anyone on the way out of the room or down the stairs.

Their laughs and giggles were so loud like it was out on the intercom. “You’re more athletic than me, give me a break!” Y/n giggled as she grabbed onto his arm to drag him back and got the chance to move in front of him.

“Was that Park Gunwook and Jeon Y/n?” A classmate said as they saw the pair run past them. “I heard they were friends now, I didn’t believe it. But I guess they’re cool now.” Another one said.

“As expected! I won.” Y/n said as she touched the glass doors of the cafeteria. “Fine, you win.” Gunwook tried to catch his breath. “What do you want?” He put his arm around the girl and walked her towards the cafeteria line.

“Hm, give me some time to think about it.” Y/n nodded her head. “How did you guys not get in trouble for running? I jog in the hallways one time and I get detention.” Ricky said, cutting the people in front of him to get to the two. “Because it’s almost the end of the year, teachers don’t care.” Y/n smirked.

“Have you heard the whispers Y/n?” Ricky asked. “Duh. People are calling me fake. It doesn’t bother me much. I know me and Gunwook are cool with each other so I don’t really care.” She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, these people need to get over it.”

“Y/n’s just my biggest hater, I don’t really mind. It’s kind of cute, she’s like obsessed with me.” Gunwook sneered. “I am not obsessed with you.” Y/n chuckled. “You wish I was.”

—

Everyone started to get used to the fact that Y/n and Gunwook we’re friends now. The two did often still argue about test grades and stuff but it was nothing to the extreme. It was all jokes now.

Sometimes they even would do tutor sessions together and it went by smoothly. The two also had gotten more comfortable with each other, everyone else had noticed this as well.

It started with the little things, like Gunwook resting his arm on her shoulder, Gunwook leaning his head a little too close to Y/n’s shoulder, then giving hugs before saying bye, Gunwook’s teasing got ‘worse’, he would tickle and throw her over his shoulders.

Y/n didn’t mind, she actually quite liked her friendship with Gunwook now. It’s cute and heartwarming especially when you consider their bad past.

The two hung out a lot, even when they didn’t have anything to do they would just listen to Seventeen and talk or study in silence even. That’s how comfortable they were now, they could sit in silence and study with no ounce of discomfort in the air.

The two endearingly tease each other. They unconsciously flirt and it goes over both of their heads. Calling each other cute, ruffling each other's hair, squeezing one’s cheek, and tickling each other.

People started to think they were a couple and not friends. It was hard to believe really, everyone at school was shocked to see how comfortable and touchy the two were with each other.

“Y/n.” Gunwook groaned as he dramatically leaned into the girl sitting next to him. “What.” Y/n dragged out her word. “Why did you give me your worst students ever?” He said with a pout. “They aren’t bad, they’re just so in love with you that they can’t focus.” She laughed out loud.

“Now, go, you have a shift and I have a session soon.” Y/n pushed the boy off of her. “Fine, I’ll see you later.” Gunwook sighed and walked over to the counter.

After Y/n's session she fell asleep. She usually does but doesn’t worry because Gunwook is around the corner.

Y/n was shaken awake. “Gunwook? Is your shift over?” She mumbled as she slowly lifted her head up. “Oh—Sorry, do you need to sit here?” Y/n asked, suddenly standing up as she saw a man a few years older than her.

“Sorry, miss. You were sleeping and something bad could’ve happened.” The man gently put his hand on her shoulder, caressing it. “Heh, yeah.” Y/n awkwardly laughed as she shifted around slightly. “Uhm—thank you for waking me—my boyfriend is almost here!” Y/n looked at her watch. She gently pushed the man’s hand away but he put it back on her, going up and down her arm, slowly.

She knew Gunwook’s shift was about to end and had really hoped he would be quick to get his things together.

“Baby!” Y/n shouted as Gunwook came from around the corner. He was shocked, but quickly understood the situation as he saw the uncomfortable expression on the girl's face.

“Sorry for taking too long, how was your session?” Gunwook said as he pulled the girl into his arms and kissed her forehead. “It was good! I accidentally fell asleep again.” Y/n said as she put one of her backpack straps on her shoulder and put her other arm around Gunwook’s.

The two walked out of the store still arm in arm.

“God, that guy was such a creep.” Y/n scoffed. “He tried to act like some savior, saying he woke me up because something bad could’ve happened, then he started caressing my arm.” Y/n got the shivers.

“Please stop falling asleep after your sessions, especially in public places.” Gunwook expressed his concern. “I don’t want anything bad happening to you.” Gunwook locked eyes with the girl.

“Thank you, for helping me.” Y/n nodded and gave him a small smile.

“I’ll always be there to help you.”

—

For the past couple weeks Y/n has started to feel different around Gunwook. Not a bad difference, just a difference she wasn’t used to…

She started to notice how long their hugs actually lasted, how long his hands lingered in her hair when he’d get it out of her face due to the wind, and how many hours the two actually spent together on a free day.

She liked all those things mentioned. She enjoyed spending time with Gunwook, she enjoyed his hugs, and she enjoyed his lingering touches when he’d tease her or play with her hair.

She also started to notice the swirly butterfly feeling that spread throughout her body around the boy.

She really didn’t want to admit it but deep down she knew. She had started to take a liking for Park Gunwook, in the way where she wanted him to hold her in his arms for as long as he could.

“Y/n-ah, stop staring so hard.” Hiyyih broke Y/n’s focus on the field. “What, I can’t stare at him? He’s the star player.” Y/n turned her head to look at the blonde. “What’s going on between you two?” Hiyyih asked.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean literally almost all of us can sense the odd tension between you and him.” Y/n sighed at that. “So—yes I’ve been feeling a little odd around him. So what?”

“So what? So what about fixing that odd tension? Something bad didn’t happen, right?” Hiyyih asked with concern. “No, nothing bad!” Y/n rushed to say. “Okay, listen. I think I might have feelings for Gunwook in more than a friend way.” Y/n confessed.

“Fina-fucking-ly.” Hiyyih bursted out laughing. “Why are you laughing so hard? What do you mean?” Y/n was confused and lost.

“You're so oblivious. Gunwook has had such a huge crush on you for like—ever!”

“How? Did he tell you guys something?”

“Not exactly. Dayeon told me how much he loved seeing your cute little pouty face you make when you get mad. Why do you think he teases you so much?” Hiyyih had a smug smile on her face. “What if he doesn’t and that’s just his personality?”

“Just take the chance.”

—

Y/n has started to observe Gunwook’s behavior around her. She was confused on how there could be a chance that Gunwook did like her like that. He was so normal and calm around the girl, there was no sign of shyness at all, so how could he see the girl in that way?

“Gunwook,” Y/n said. Interrupting silence that was there. “Yeah?” He lifted his head from his notebook.

The two were studying in Y/n’s room.

“I heard something about you, and I don’t know if it’s true or not. I just wanted to ask.” Y/n said hesitantly. “What is it?” The boy asked. “Do you have a big fat crush on me?” Y/n said in a teasing tone to make it less embarrassing to ask.

“You wish I did!” Gunwook jokes and started poking at her torso with his pen. “No seriously though. I heard you tease me because you like my mad pouty face.” Y/n said seriously this time.

“Yah! Did Dayeon rat me out to you?!” Gunwook panicked. “So it’s true!?” Y/n laughed. “Ugh—I don’t—I don’t even know!” Gunwook spit out. “What do you mean you don’t know?” Y/n asked.

“I don’t know if what I feel for you is THAT.” Gunwook emphasized on the ‘that’.

“Kiss me then.” Y/n suggested, cringing at what she had just said. “Oh my god, ew I can’t believe you just said that.” Gunwook almost gagged. “What? It’s just a kiss.”

“Where is all this confidence coming from, oh my god.” Gunwook’s ears turned red. “It’s a win-win, we kiss and you figure out if you like me or not.” Y/n said.

“Do you just want to kiss me?” Gunwook asked, eyes slightly widened. “Oh my god, a girl is suggesting you kiss her and you still haven’t?” Y/n scoffed. “You’re so clueless.” Y/n shook her head as she mumbled. “Let’s just—forget about this.” Y/n went back to her book.

—

Y/n had been even more odd and off around Park Gunwook ever since that situation between the two happened. She tried not to distance herself but it failed. She happened to take in two more students to tutor to fill in her time so she won’t have any to hang out with the boy.

“I’m sorry, Gunwook. I have to tutor after school.” Y/n said apologetically. “It’s Friday, you don’t have any on Friday’s.” Gunwook knew Y/n’s schedule in and out. “I took two more students in. I have one at four and another at five.” Y/n nodded her head.

“Why would you do that? Didn’t you give me half of your students so you can have more time?”

“I don’t know. They were Danielle’s students but I know she is going back to Australia so I told her I can take them.” Danielle Marsh was another girl who helped tutor students.

“Are you planning to tutor students the whole summer too?” Gunwook jokes. “If I have too.” Y/n sheepishly chuckled. “Seriously? You should drop all the sessions this summer.” Gunwook said.

“Why?” Y/n asked. “I’ve got nothing better to do.” Y/n said. “Because we’re gonna be hanging out all summer, duh? And the whole crew as well.”

“Well—I actually have a soccer camp the first two weeks of summer.” Gunwook interrupted his own thoughts. “But after that we can hang out all day everyday!” He said with excitement. “I don’t want to take you away from hanging with your other friends. I heard you barely hang out with them anymore.” Y/n glanced down at the floor, not wanting to look Gunwook in the eyes.

“What’s up with you? You’re being weird.” Gunwook’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m not being weird, it’s the truth. What about your other friends?”

“They don’t really care, they have their own lives, they’re busy doing their own things.” Gunwook was starting to get a little frustrated with the girl. “Seriously what’s up with you.” He scoffed.

“Nothing’s up.” Her shoulders shrug. “Something’s definitely up. Why won’t you tell me?” Gunwook gently shoved the girl's shoulder. “Because it’s so stupid, you’ll probably laugh at me and then walk away.” Y/n spat out and walked away in the direction of Hiyyih’s brother’s car before the boy could get a chance to say anything else.

—

“Dayeon, Y/n has been acting weird, have you noticed?” Gunwook asked the girl. “No, she’s normal around me. Why, is something up with you two?” Dayeon asked, looking up from her phone.

“I don’t even know. She’s being weird around me, I don’t know if I did something or if I said something.”

“Did anything happen before she started acting like that?” Dayeon asked. “Just—ugh promise you won’t tell this to anyone.” Gunwook sighed. “Promise.” Dayeon’s face slightly scrunched up.

“A few weeks back Y/n asked me if I liked her in more than a friend way. I said I don’t even know and then she suggested I kiss her. I just said some random shit because I didn’t want to kiss her and turn all red. Then she said “A girl is suggesting you kiss her and you still haven’t.” and said to forget about it. I listened to her and haven't thought about it.”

“Oh my god! You’re so pathetic, I can’t believe you did that.” Dayeon let out a mixture of a scoff and a laugh. “I thought she was just fucking with me.” Gunwook said. “Clearly she wasn’t. She wants to kiss you bro. Clearly she likes you.”

“Y/n is the type to shut down and give up when it comes to shit like this. Take the chance before she loses feelings. I heard this junior likes her, so get her before he does.”

—

Gunwook realized how distanced Y/n had been now that Dayeon had put that thought into his head. She had been getting awfully close to this junior she was tutoring. They had been hanging out on different occasions that did not in fact involve studying.

“Y/n,” Gunwook called out to the girl in a whisper, who was currently tutoring the said junior in the library. “Y/n, can I talk to you real quick?” He asked, Y/n looked a little annoyed at the boy’s interruption.

“What is it?” Y/n said in a frustrated tone as the boy pulled her behind a bookshelf. “Nothing, I just wanted to talk to you.” Gunwook said with a cheesy smile. “Gunwook, seriously? I’m busy.” Y/n scoffed. “I just miss hanging and talking with you. You’re spending all your time with that junior.” Gunwook scoffed and slightly pointed in the direction of the junior.

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing—nothing is wrong with that. I just want to know what I did wrong and why you barely talk to me anymore.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Then why are you being like this right now.”

“Because—fuck it.” Y/n mumbled the swears that came out of her mouth. “Because, Gunwook I like you. More than a friend, and clearly you don’t. I was just distancing myself so I can get over you.” Y/n finally confessed.

Gunwook was left speechless at that. “See, you don’t even know what to say.” Y/n huffed and walked away but was stopped at the grip of a hand holding her back.

“Y/n, you didn’t even get to say anything.” Gunwook sighed. “I like you, I have for like—ever honestly. I only realized it just a couple weeks ago.”

“Are you just messing with me?”

“No, why would I? I do like you Y/n. I’m not messing with you, this is not a joke at all. I like to spend time with you, I like when you try and argue with me all the time, even when it’s unnecessary and pointless I still argue back because of that fucking face you make. You’re like the death of me!” Gunwook shouted a little too loud, getting a couple looks.

“I like the way you want to achieve things that aren’t even beneficial to you—like who the hell needs to be declared the best pancake maker? No one but you, you have that same competitive fire as me, I thought it’d be hell if I met someone exactly like me but I love to talk and challenge you to anything.”

“Everyone might hate when we argue because it’s annoying and a distraction but I love it, because of that stupid pout you put on.”

Y/n was silent. She didn’t know what to say, she did not expect Gunwook to be so heartfelt to her. Her head slightly dropped down to look at the floor, scared she’d start crying if she looked him in the eyes.

“And I’m so mad that I didn’t kiss you that day. I was so embarrassed that I’d start to stutter and become all red because of a little kiss.” Gunwook’s hands palmed each side of her cheek so the girl could lock eyes with him.

“If I can—If you’ll let me. Can I kiss you?” Gunwook asked boldly, not as shy as he was the day Y/n asked him too. Y/n slowly nodded her head as a few tears rolled down her eyes.

The kiss was short but sweet. Their hearts were racing so fast it could almost malfunction.

“I can’t believe I’m crying in the library.” Y/n said, embarrassed as her head slightly went down.

“It’s normal to cry.” Gunwook wiped the girl's tears with the pad of his thumbs. “Does this mean we’re dating now?” Gunwook said, muffed into the girls hair as they were hugging.

“Yeah, I honestly don’t do this dating shit so I think so.” Y/n said nonchalantly which made Gunwook laugh. “Okay—Jeon Y/n, will you be my girlfriend?” Gunwook said as he pulled himself away from the girl to get a good look at her.

“If I say yes that means you have to admit that I’m better academically than you.”

“You are academically better than me, Jeon Y/n.”

“Then, yes.” Y/n stood on her tippy toes and pecked the boy's cheek.

—

The two decided to keep their relationship hidden from everyone so they could just enjoy each other's time and company without any whispers, rumors, or teasing.

It was going really smoothly. They two had unexpectedly not been awkward about it. They had to make up random excuses on why they couldn’t hang out because they two had scheduled meet up’s and dates.

The only person that did know about the two was Hayun. Hayun didn’t even go to the same school as the two so they didn’t mind telling her.

Gunwook and Hayun got along well and Y/n really liked that. She liked that Hayun liked Gunwook and Gunwook liked Hayun. The two would sometimes gang up on Y/n, she didn’t like that but she liked that the two had gotten close and have a good relationship of their own. After all, her little sister and her boyfriend are probably the people she adores the most in life.

It was hard for her to hide it from Hiyyih, especially since that’s her best friend and she can notice when something is different. She noticed how Y/n had been much happier and was glowing with positivity.

Gunwook knew how hard that must’ve been for her so he agreed to not tell Gyuvin or Dayeon.

Either way the friends would figure out the truth themselves. Or they would catch them secretly kissing one day.

And that they did! They were not that surprised, they had started suspecting it when the two were not available at the same time.

The teasing lasted for about three weeks.

“I almost forgot they were together.” Gyuvin audibly gagged at the sight of the two sitting at a booth with their hands on each other. “Get used to it.” Gunwook threw a fry at his friend as he sat down next to Dayeon and Hiyyih who were squeezed into the seats in front of them.

“I think it’s kind of cute. How they used to despise and hate each other but now they’re all lovey dovey with each other.” Hiyyih said. “Lovey dovey? When Gunwook went to the bathroom she literally called his shirt ugly.” Dayeon said with a tone of disbelief.

“What—you said I looked cute today.” Gunwook gasped and looked at the girl on the side of him. “Because you are cute! The shirt just isn’t.” Y/n smiled cheekily.

“You’re such a hater. You love to hate me.”