#also a taste of Shakarian

[milkywayes]

linger

[choccy-zefirka]

Fic Author Self-Rec!!

Thank you @volkoss for tagging me! :D

The rule was to hype up five of your fics, and I am happy to oblige! LOOK AT IT

Mister Monster — Skyrim, Gen, Rated Teen and Up (mostly for some self-destructive thoughts among minors brought about by child abuse and general shitty living conditions), 1500 words

An old-ish Skyrim fic that I polished and reuploaded, describing how my vampire character uses his powers to rescue kids and thus becomes an urban legend: a monster that you have to summon/invite in if you want help. Can be read if you have minimal knowledge of Skyrim, if you don't mind the occasional name drops for fantasy races. I really like its narration style, a sort of campfire story passed on by the older kids; and for a gen fic, it did pretty well too!

Doomscrolling — Mass Effect, Shakarian (pre-relationship), Rated Teen and Up, 3,380 words

Basically, Garrus is sitting around on Omega all sad because he thinks Shepard is dead, and thinks back to some bonding moments they had.

This was my first time trying to write something for the trilogy, let alone for such a popular character/ship: I'd previously written a couple of Andromeda drabbles, as I played that game before MELE, but did not even attempt to step into ME fandom spaces, because of the game's reception. Plus, I kept hearing from friends who were in the trilogy fandom that Garrus/Shakarian fans had a reputation for being obnoxious bullies, and when I took a shine to Garrus, I immediately felt a surge of immense guilt. Those were the feelings I had to battle through while writing this story; I did, however, persevere, and am proud of the result! It also helped me discover friendly, welcoming communities of Garrus fans, full of amazing people whom I'm proud to share a blorbo with! And lastly, I peppered in a bunch of pop culture references that may seem corny but made me smile.

Passing of the Years — Dragon Age: Inquisition, Inquisitor Lavellan/Gereon Alexius (not the main focus), Rated Teen and Up, 2,090 words

A character study of Elgara Lavellan, a city elf mage who was taken from her loving community to the Circle and, after growing up there, had to be made Tranquil because she freed the demon that had been trapped in the Fade to test apprentices at Harrowings. It explores her perception of the world as she lost her emotions and then regained them thanks to the Mark, and challenges her fear that she might be too old to explore her sexuality (she was a virgin at the time of her failed Harrowing, and still remained one 20 years later). I like the repeated motifs I use in narration: the colors of a sunset, the sight and sound of cute fat little birds on a branch, the taste of berry porridge. The simple everyday things that Elgara reacts to differently depending on where she is in life. My friends, who read the fic out loud as it had been chosen for our Discord server's fic reading calls, were also deeply moved by my writing, which means a lot to me.

Hjördis Laidir's Guide to Being Fearless — Dragon Age: the Veilguard, Emmrook (at the very end if you squint), Rated Teen and Up, 925 words

Another character study, describing the thought process of Hjördis, a young Lord of Fortune who projects a daring pirate persona in order to mask the fact that she's terrified of a lot of things. She tries to act impulsive before her anxious brain catches up to her, which eventually leads to her flirting with Emmrich in order to silence her fear of necromancy (given that she was a street urchin adopted in Kirkwall by Hawkemeribela, and her only other point of reference for necromancers is Quentin). This one is maybe not of a particular interest to my fellow fans, as with both BG3 and Veilguard, I have noticed a shift to blank-slate protagonists or reader inserts (which are very tricky to write for me, and I applaud anyone who does!). But I personally like being in Hjördis' head, she's such a mess masquerading as a storybook adventurer. The Flynn Ryder to Emmrich's Rapunzel, if you will.

A Trifle — Dragon Age: Inquisition, Gen, Rated General Audiences, 1,376 words

A little scene where Alexius, now assigned by the Inquisitor to work for Fiona, befriends a bunch of mage kids and begrudgingly slips back into his half-forgotten teacher persona. Also there's a cute cat.

I usually write about Alexius' redemption arc in the context of his Enemies to Lovers romance with the a specific Inquisitor, so it was fun to create a general hc/scenario that might fit anywhere, including in my friends' worldstates (should they share my Alexius woobification vision). It's a bit adjacent to blank slate protagonist fics, so a fun challenge for my OC-pilled brain :D

Thanks to everyone who reads this post (and gentle forehead kissies if you decide to follow the links).

I tag @druckkugelschreiber , @whiskynorocks , @bearlytolerant , @sky-scribbles and @lazyadmiral

[lilmissnatcat24]

REUNION FIC? >:)

ohmygodohmygod i'm so happy i got a reply

reunion fic was originally supposed to be reworking shakarian me3's reunion because let's be so incredibly real the writers gave us mere CRUMBS to work with. like i get your world is under attack but not even like a hug? holding hands? ridiculous

but then i scrapped the whole thing and now it's like this super tender one shot somewhere after me2 where garrus and shep realize that it's more than just some odd fwb hookup thing happening between the two of them (there's also knotting but that's beside the point) and just never bothered to change the title

here is so far:

It wasn't the first time Garrus and Shepard hooked up where he realized that there was something more between them. There were too many moving parts, too many learning curves for him to fully let go. Sure, he'd done his research, but actually performing? He was nervous to say the least, he was fairly certain he blacked out and only came to his senses when he actually came-- which was about fifteen seconds in. Was it timely and efficient given the incoming mission? Yes. Was it embarrassing? Also yes. He still made sure Shepard was satisfied, discovering that human pussy tasted incredibly pleasant and that it turned him on immensely to see her squirm with his finger deep inside her, but was almost relieved when EDI let them know that the Omega-4 Relay was only ten minutes away. It gave him the time to ignore all of the weird swirling emotions in his chest for the time being.

It wasn't the second time they hooked up, either. Could you blame them? They had just survived a mission that nearly everyone had called impossible with no casualties. They had to blow off steam somehow, and now that they knew it could work, they were more than happy to oblige. Shepard's shower, holding her against the wall with her legs wrapped around his waist. It was a little less awkward and a little more desperate. He had a vague understanding of what she liked, he took her as if she were a turian. Judging on just the sounds that came from her mouth, he'd say she enjoyed it at the very least. But then she did this human this called a blowjob, and Garrus came in about fifteen seconds-- which was worse than the first time, because now Shepard probably thinks that he can't last for anything. To be fair, around her for some reason, it's true.

No, it was the third time-- where there were no strings attached, no stakes, no real reason for them to even be in the same room together. It was then where Garrus had that horrifying, nauseating, terrifying sensation deep down in his stomach where he might just be in love with his best friend. Hookups he could do. But love? With a human? With her? Well, he didn't know what to do with that.

[s0me-writer]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Mass Effect Trilogy Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Tarquin Victus/Original Character(s), C-Sec Turian Officer & Teenaged Refugee Girl Characters: Original Turian Character(s), Nellus Tragen, Tarquin Victus, Chellick, Original Krogan Character(s), Original Asari Character(s), Female Shepard (Mass Effect), Garrus Vakarian, Adrien Victus Additional Tags: Minor Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Established Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, The Reaper War, Mass Effect 3, Turians, References to Depression, Social Anxiety, Guardian-Ward Relationship, Mild Language, Platonic Female/Male Relationships Series: Part 4 of Turian Machinations of Spectres and Primarchs Summary:

Summary: Wake up, go to work, sleep. It wasn't exactly the life C-Sec officer Nellus Tragen wanted but it's the one he's got. Docking bay D-24 might as well be his second home for as much time as he spends there. Of course, finding himself guardian and protector to a teenaged human girl utterly alone in the hell that is the Reaper War has a way of changing things up a bit.

Excerpt: “Stop!” Nellus Tragen shouted from the confines of his bed before rolling over, desperately clinging to the silence as long as he still could, knowing it was just a matter of time before-

His discarded alarm started to beep, the sound steadily progressing in volume until it was buzzing insistently against the wall it had hit.

Same shit, different day... with the ever-so-subtle addition of Reapers, that is.

[iheartgarrus]

N7 Month Day 27: Ardat-Yakshi

(AO3 Link - It's a steamy one, folks. It's Shakarian and probably the most substantial smut I've posted in years. Also the longest of these fills so far. NB: Ardat-Yakshi fics can be ripe for dubcon, but I promise there isn't any here.)

Once Morinth was dead and Shepard and Samara were back on the Normandy, Shepard opted to skip her usual stop by the armory and headed straight for her cabin. Distantly, she heard Kelly mention something about new messages, but her inbox was among the furthest things from her mind at the moment.

As soon as the door slid shut behind her, she shed her armor in a haphazard trail to the bathroom sink, but no matter how much cold water she splashed on her face, she couldn't shake it. She felt like she was on fire. That goddamn-

When she finally looked up long enough to catch a glimpse of her reflection, she groaned. Her neck was covered in sweat, and her entire face was flushed a deep crimson. In any other situation, she'd be reporting to the medbay to figure out what the hell she'd been exposed to, but Samara had already warned her about what she was dealing with. And she would really, really rather keep the situation to herself.

"An Ardat-Yakshi's powers are designed to heighten sexual arousal and lower inhibitions," Samara had explained. "You have resisted her, but it appears that some of the... side effects remain with you."

According to her, it would probably pass on its own. Probably. Christ, Shepard hoped so. The last thing she wanted was to go to Chakwas with Terminally Horny Disease.

If they'd been anywhere but Omega, she'd have had half a mind to go find herself a hookup to take the edge off, but she wasn't eager to find out what kind of new and interesting STIs she might catch from this place. No, she'd just have to sweat it out.

Or... 'go it alone', as it were.

She let out a harsh sigh and pushed off of the counter to head down into her cabin, unzipping her undersuit along the way. After a thoroughly unceremonious stripping down, she had enough presence of mind to dig her vibrator out of her nightstand drawer before collapsing onto the bed in a naked, sweaty heap.

Shepard took a couple of deep breaths, trying to clear away at least some of the haze obscuring her mind. Even as keyed up as she was, she knew she wouldn't be able to come without some kind of... mental stimulation, and getting up to dig out a datapad was absolutely out of the question. So she closed her eyes and tried using her imagination. Memories were always most effective for her, so she went back to her last shore leave hookup. It had been an excellent one - another human woman with thick brown curls and extremely kissable lips.

They'd gotten so worked up making out in a dark corner of the bar that they'd stripped each other naked as soon as they'd walked in the door to the woman's apartment. Jeannie, she was pretty sure her name was? Shepard closed her eyes and reached one hand down to start circling her clit - so goddamn swollen already - as she remembered Jeannie's full lips wrapping around her nipple, sucking and licking like she'd never tasted anything better. Shepard had grabbed the back of Jeannie's head to encourage her, slipping her fingers into her fringe-

Shepard's fingers froze.

Hang on.

Into her what?

The altered memory was there, and then it was gone, Jeannie back in place leaving tiny nips on the curve of Shepard's breast. 'Weird,' she thought before resuming her hand's movements. She skipped ahead in her memory to the other woman's head between her legs, licking at her clit and slipping a finger inside her. Shepard took that moment to click on her vibrator with her free hand and start running it between her folds, gathering the abundant moisture she found there. Jesus, she was pretty sure she'd never been this wet.

She closed her eyes again, and Jeannie was sliding a second finger in now. She gripped Shepard's thigh to hold her open, talons just slightly digging into-

Shepard nearly dropped her vibrator.

Okay, what the fuck?

She tried to focus on the image this time and-

Oh. Oh shit.

Her eyes flew open with a gasp. Obviously, her mind was drifting from the memory of her hookup to some fantasy about a turian (and it had to be a fantasy, as she'd never been with one before). And if that was all it was, she could've gone with it. Nothing wrong with discovering new 'interests'.

The problem was, it wasn't just any turian in her mind's eye. It was Garrus. Technically her subordinate, but more importantly, the closest friend she had. And suddenly, just picturing his face was making her whine with arousal.

Goddamn Ardat-Yakshi.

At least she could blame it on that. This could... just be a one-time thing. Rub one out thinking about Garrus, avoid eye contact for a couple days, then go back to normal. This wouldn't be happening if her body weren't full of stupid asari pheromones or whatever the hell it was, so she wouldn't need to worry about it again.

Still, she'd make sure she had some porn available next time she needed to get off. Just to be safe.

Hesitantly, Shepard started circling her fingers around her clit again, relaxing back into the pillow. Her "Intro to Xenobiology" class was a long time ago, so her memory of what a naked turian looked like was a bit fuzzy, but she had enough basics to make do. Since she didn't know where his erogenous zones would be, her fantasy would have to mostly focus on him pleasing her, but hey, that was kind of what fantasies were for, right?

Still... she could admit to some academic curiosity about what he would like.

She came back to where she'd been before, with Garrus's head at her breast, tongue lapping at her nipple. Except this time, he also had a hand between her legs, stroking at her clit much like her own was in real life. She hummed in pleasure and started moving a bit faster. "You're so wet," he'd say, and damn, why could she imagine that so well?

Shepard brought her vibrator back into the mix as Fantasy Garrus licked his way down her body, settling himself between her legs like her forgotten hookup had. He ran a finger between her folds and she groaned, pushing her hips toward her vibrator, toward his hand, before he pulled it back and ran his tongue (she was pretty sure turians had long tongues) straight up her slit. "Garrus," she moaned, and she was too far gone to be scandalized that she'd said that out loud.

"Mm..." he purred. "You like that?"

"God, yes." She knew somewhere in the back of her mind that the Garrus she knew, the one who was probably down in the Main Battery at that very moment toiling away on his calibrations, probably wouldn't be this smooth and confident in real life.

At least not at first.

Refusing to unpack that thought, she slowly slid her vibrator between her folds, turning the speed up a notch, while the Garrus in her mind's eye crawled over her and held her face in his hands. And while some part of her knew that that kind of affection was way beyond what this fantasy was supposed to be about, her mind was rapidly clearing of all coherent thought as her vibrator - and Garrus - bottomed out inside of her. She moaned, more loudly than usual, and arched her back just slightly, relishing the stretch in her cunt. Slowly, keeping her fingers moving on her clit, she pulled the vibrator out and pressed back in with more force, imagining Garrus doing the same. 'What would he really feel like?' she couldn't stop herself from wondering. She was almost certain that turians had cocks, but anything more specific than that was a mystery.

But there would be time to find the answer to that one later. For now, she kept fucking herself while the Garrus in her fantasy fucked her, murmuring praise in her ear ("You feel amazing, you're so tight for me, so good..."). She panted as she moved faster and faster, wishing she could feel the full force of Garrus's powerful hips slamming into her, his plates rubbing against her nipples, hands gripping her hips-

Shepard felt the tension low in her belly snap as her orgasm flowed in shockwaves throughout her body, and she turned to bite her pillow to muffle her scream. She was not typically a screamer, but it seemed her artificially heightened arousal had her doing a lot of things she wouldn't normally do. She swore she could practically feel Garrus coming inside of her, his groans in her ear, and she pictured herself wrapping her arms around him and pulling him close...

Then, all at once, her orgasm died down and the image dissolved.

She opened her eyes and pulled her vibrator out of herself, clicking it off and tossing it on the bed next to her. As she caught her breath, she took stock. While still disgustingly sweaty, the feverishness had died down, and she was quickly starting to feel cold as the sweat cooled on her skin. A shower would have to be next on her to-do list. She definitely wasn't horny anymore, so coming had apparently been what she needed to cure the state that Morinth had put her in, but now she had a new problem to solve:

She very much wanted her fantasy back.

[wingsy-keeper-of-songs]

Mass Effect Trilogy Tag

Lovingly borrowed from a great Mass Effect blog @whiskynorocks ya'll should go follow them they're rad as hell and have excellent taste

Been a fan since: I'd heard great things about the series since 3 came out but I never had the opportunity to play it until this year. I can safely say I'm pretty hooked.

Favorite game of the series: 2, without a doubt. There are things I loved about 1 and 3 but 2 stood out to me especially with the writing and how I developed my relationships with my crew. I wasn't thrilled about joining forces with Space Terrorists, but at least I was able to walk away from TIM at the end of it.

MaleShep or FemShep? FemShep, hands down. I do have a BroShep save, but he's not as...invested as FemShep is.

Earthborn, Colonist or Spacer? Colonist or Earthborn for FemShep, Earthborn or Spacer for BroShep

Paragon or Renegade? Heavy on the Paragade. I usually try to go mostly Paragon, but there are some motherfuckers that need slapping

Biotics or Tech? I like Tech but I go Biotics more often than not

Favorite class: Oh Vanguard full stop. Give me a shotgun and biotic charge and I'm up on the front lines gunning down assholes like I was born for it

Favorite companion: Garrus, but also Tali, Wrex, Legion, Kasumi, Zaeed, Vega, and Liara when she didn't sell my body to terrorists

Least favorite companion: Miranda (strictly just due to ability, tbh), Ashley (I saved her a few times, I get that she has a lot of emotional baggage and the way that the Alliance treats her is extremely wrong, but I just can't like her ya'll. I'm sorry. I've tried.)

My squad selection: Who wants to third wheel with me and the Space Kitty? In all seriousness, it's usually Shep, Garrus, and Tali in 1 unless I switch Tali for Kaiden a few times. Or Wrex if I need more fire power lol. In 2, soon as I get Garrus, I tend to keep him around for everything save Tali's trial since I like to bring Legion to that just to be a troll. Mostly, it's just me and the Dream Team. Vega third wheeled a lot in 3, though lol

Favorite in-game romance: Shakarian for the long haul, baby. But Talibrations is also extremely adorable too. My BroShep is hella bi so he's romancing Kaiden after losing Ash in Virmire and he's Damaged™ so maybe Kaiden can fix him

Other pairings I like: Tali/Reeger (that dude was so in love with her it's amazing), EDI/Joker, Wrex/Bakura, Nyreen/Aria, Cortez/Vega

Favorite NPC: Anderson, Councilor Sparatus because he's a dick but he comes through for you in the end, Saren, Nihlus for the five seconds you get to know him, Kirrahe, Nyreen Kandros, Primarch Victus, Aria (she's very hot), the bartender in the Asari bar, Biotic God Volus, Padok Wikks

Favorite antagonist: SOVEREIGN. Hands down, he is the most terrifying thing you encounter in the games. He's just so other, so alien, and so...mechanical. His lines are delivered with this matter-of-fact contempt that is so perfect for a sentient machine. He has no motive other than he just Is. And I love that. Harbinger never shut up, but Sovereign knew when to start and end a conversation. He said his piece and he said nothing more. And that is exactly how you introduce an Eldritch Being.

Favorite mission: Noveria. I loved meeting Lorik, and how the whole thing spirals down from dirty business deals to all out creep-fest when you encounter the Rachni. And the Rachni Queen's voice acting was stellar. She was just sympathetic enough to warrant pause from outright killing her and terrifying enough to consider it.

Favorite loyalty mission: Its a tie in between Garrus and Kasumi. Garrus for how it ties into his relationship with Shepard and just how their death truly affected him and how it reflects on his character (I have only allowed him to shoot Sidonis once, and it was not a good feeling). And Kasumi because dressing Shepard up is always a good time and Kasumi is a sassy, classy lady who lost someone dear to her and giving her that closure she needs makes me happy for her. She deserves pretty things. She's also cute as hell.

Favorite DLC: Either Citadel, Omega (for Nyreen), or Overlord because David's story made me cry. I'm also autistic and the story was handled very well with Shepard being so furiously angry that the Paragon Interrupt was to pistol whip Gavin was very cathartic for me.

Control, Synthesis or Destroy? 100% Destroy. I do not and will not trust the Walmart-brand Alexa that is the Catalyst. That little asshole is dying with the rest of those genocidal machines.

Favorite weapon: The Talon Heavy Pistol. Baby can pack a punch.

Favorite place: I actually really love the beauty of the Ardat Yakshi monastery. I hate that the Reapers destroy it and turn it into someplace so nightmarish but it really was such a beautiful building and felt really peaceful beforehand.

A quote I like: "You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it."

[ljandersen]

Tagged by @mordinette ! Thank you for thinking of me. It's fun looking back at past fics!

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Most popular fic:  About Mars . . .

It's not my fic with the highest number of kudos, but relative to hits, chapter/word count, and age, I consider it my most succesful fic. Once my WIP (which currently has more kudos) finishes posting, I foresee this fic passing it by in the long-term. It's heads and shoulders more popular than my other stories on FFN too.

It makes sense, I guess, why it would be more popular. It's a more typical fanfic-type story. It's set during the game, a mix of fluff and angst, but mostly upbeat and fun. It's a collection of loosely connected scenes focused on characters and relationships without the strain of following a plot.

Best fic: Sideways

It's the longest, most elaborate of my stories. It took years to finish the first draft and start posting it. For my tastes, it's everything I enjoy in writing and reading a story --secrets, twists, slow burn, complex relationships, politics, adventure, high stakes, ethical dilemmas. The post-war period allows me the creative freedom to worldbuild a "new" galaxy, develop canon characters and relationships my own way, and create my own plot.

Favorite fic:  Burning Barriers

I'm betting that for most writers their best story is also their favorite story. That's true in my case, so I'll go with second favorite.

This was a story that started everything. It was the first novel-length story I wrote to completion. It gave me the closure I needed from the ending of Mass Effect and let me get past my perfectionism for the first time to realize my dream of writing a novel. It established a writing process that works for me, and it actually came out to be a series of three novels.

I still love this post-war story. I created my own plot, evolved the characters, and dove into sci fi action/adventure which I never imagined writing. I cherish it not only for the story but for the personal meaning.

Least favorite: The Favorite

(ironic title for the category, right?)

It isn't a surprise that this is my least favorite fic. It's the only non-fShenko story I've written. It was requested in a Christmas gift exchange, and at first, I was overwhelmed with the idea of how to write a Wrex-Garrus-femShep love triangle oneshot. It stretched me, but I produced a story I still feel good about. Ultimately, it was written for someone else, not myself.

I dread the day when it passes the kudos count of all my other fics, including the epic multichapter ones. With a Shakarian tag, it has a huge hand up over my fShenko passion projects. It's only a matter of time.

Tagging: @ripley95 @rpgwrites @pigeontheoneandonly @alphahelices @laelior @halesshepardn7 @acciokaidanalenko @ficbrish @a-cosmic-elf @tealenko @aricazorel @citadelsushi @miniature-space-hamster @hardcore-like-eezo and anyone else who wants to play! No pressure. This is just for fun if you're up for sharing.

[drunk-quarian]

vakarian’s vanguard - firsts: dinner date

uhhhhhhh i wrote my first fic ever

welcome to domestic reflective shakarian 

it’s a little rambly but if u like it let me know, or don’t, whatever 

here’s a snippet

Ariadne Shepard could face down any obstacle in her way.

She'd grown up a dirty Earth orphan, her strength forged and sharpened by the unforgiving, crime riddled streets and dark alleys of the enormous metropolis she called her hometown.

She was an Alliance war hero and fought off countless batarian pirates on Elysium, blasting them down with biotics when she all but ran out of heat sinks - even as the strain of back to back dark energy attacks threatened to pull her very atoms apart.

She was the Savior of the Citadel, Hero of the Galaxy, the reason billions of people even HAD a galaxy left.

Ariadne Shepard could face down any obstacle in her way... except making dinner, apparently.

The only thing that made her feel even slightly better was that her tall turian partner across the marble kitchen counter was also struggling with the same task. And he was just as impressive: he'd helped her save the galaxy, after all. (She'd argue that she wouldn't have been able to do it without him, and he'd half flare his mandibles only to say, "True. But I don't have a pretty face like yours for press tours. And if everyone's busy staring at you, at least I'll look normal doing it.")

Garrus Vakarian was a genius tactician and unparalleled sharpshooter, with the not-so-secret alter ego as the Archangel of Omega. He'd taken down a rogue Spectre and destroyed a Collector ship and fought back against the Reapers and —

And what in the Spirits was "turmeric"?

He could feel his shoulders start to slump, but he dared not betray any doubt. He was gonna make this dinner and it was going to be delicious... even if he couldn't taste it himself.

[shepgarrus]

At The Moment tag⌚⏳

@misseffect tagged me :D <3

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Favourite food: boiled gristle/cartilage from meat. i have some on the stove right now and i’m so excited!!!!! seriously though save that shit, collect it in a bag in the freezer then boil it for a couple of hours. (also if it’s beef and you don’t drink the broth right away once the fat solidifies on top in the fridge the fat’ll taste like donuts, no joke)

Favourite colour: purple!

Song stuck in my head: Not Friends by Loona

Last thing I googled: 'how far apart plant basil’

Dream trip: i don’t really know, i try not to think about it since it’s not in the cards right now and i used to want to travel So Bad that Not Thinking About It was my only defense from Epic Sadness. probably something with mountains. oh! one of those cool train trips that go through mountains maybe. i love just riding in things and looking out the window lmao. or if i ever get to travel for modeling, south korea or china (LOW likelihood but that’s the dream. i wanna eat animal brains)

Time: 7:57pm (now 8:24pm as i do a last read-through for typos lmao)

Last show I watched: OOF. oof. you know my dudes, i literally have no fucking clue. maybe an episode of supernatural season 12 back when it aired? i literally don’t think i’ve watched anything since season 4 of orphan black. maybe an episode and a half of invader zim? xD

Currently reading: i’m in the middle of several fics. The Mark is the one i have open on my computer but i’m in the middle of like three on my tablet i think lmao

Currently watching: i’m gonna be starting lotr rotk ee at some point soon-ish probably but i finished ttt ee yesterday

Sweet, savoury, spicy: uhh is savory fat? xD if not then sweet, spicy = pain and eating is annoying enough without that piled on

Last thing I listened to: Not Friends by Loona

Last movie I watched: Lord of the Ring The Two Towers Extended Edition. found it at the thrift store several weeks ago, it’s taken me all this time to get through non-ee fotr and then all the way through ttt ee. how do y’all sit still and concentrate through THREE EEs. my spirit would be willing but my body cannot do it

Cravings: i had a bunch of collagen powder earlier instead of waiting for my gristle soup to finish but i kind of want more so i’ll probably have more and save the soup for tomorrow

Hobbies: i’ll say walking only because it takes SO MUCH TIME to do enough of it. reading shakarian fic (surprise). flight rising. research about science and health and again, i need to say making food because it takes SO LONG

Feelings: still have lots of feelings over this but prior to that Pretty Depressed lmao my body’s giving me a Time

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Tagging: @rceyskywalker @apricare @gosh-emperor :) (and anyone else who wants to do it! the questions are neat so i’m curious to see people’s answers!)

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Fic writer tag game!

Thank you for the tag @wind-on-the-panes :)

How many works do you have on AO3? 17!

What's your total AO3 word count? 167350. It took me 15 minutes to figure out where to find this/the stats page.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Fallout from the Fade (744): Hawke stays in the Fade to deal with Nightmare’s demon... and survives. Getting back out however costs her more than she expects, and has drastic consequences. My long fic 

Provided it tied you down first (373): Inquisitor Trevelyan receives information that an important magister will be in a... compromising location, and has to blend in to get the information. She has to bring a mage along to help her, and her crush on Solas has nothing to do with why she picked him. This was a k!meme prompt and an experiment in writing smut/pwp, and people seemed to like it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Lost to night (235): After the events at the Winter Palace, Inquisitor Lavellan is both relieved the crisis is over, and exasperated with the court of Orlais. The only thing cheering her up is spending some extra time with Solas, and find themselves slipping away for some more private one on one time. When I was first getting into fanfic I mostly wrote generic protags. This fic was one of my first with writing specifically about my own Lavellan, and I like it for that reason :)

Less a Man than a Wild Cat (221): Fenris takes a trip out to the Storm Coast on some personal business... and a week later a cat with suspiciously familiar white markings in its fur storms into the Hanged Man and curls up in Hawke’s lap. I do still love this one, it was so fun to write. 

Banister Banter (218): POV/commentary from the other Inquisition members (like Dorian/Leliana) on the Inquisitor’s burgeoning relationship with Solas. Abandoned because I was trying to write humor and its very very very hard and I’m not great at it.

Do you reply to comments, why or why not? I MEAN TO AND I’M SO SORRY THAT I’M BAD AT IT... Before the Indoors Times of 2020, I spent almost all day out of service most weeks, including a lot of extended overnight trips. I also have a bad habit of saving comment replys as a “reward” for myself for whenever I finish writing the next chapter, but... my between updates time has been ever-increasing oops. ANYWAY SORRY, I do read and treasure them all. 

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Ahahahahaaha... well I do try not to end them all on an angsty note just for, you know, the sake of everyone else. But with Letters to Fenris I did try to tear out the heart a bit, and my Mass Effect the people you love become ghosts inside you, and like this, you keep them alive fic I was trying to work through my emotions about my Shepard who picks the Destroy ending and dies. and i specifically headcanon she does die even though I did get the last breath scene because i think its more emotional/significant that way

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Had to stop and scroll and I Don’t Write Fluff but I think the endings that are most positive are Less A Man Than A Wild Cat and Lost to Night. 

Do you write crossovers? Not yet, I might be tempted with something like a fairy tale but I’m not so interested in cross-fandom

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Not that I know of, though I know my delight in angst/pain will not be to all readers tastes and that’s perfectly fine

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, if it fits the story or is the point of the work. But there’s gonna be ~complicated~ feelings or circumstances involved.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated? Yes! Two of my fics are translated into Russian, Letters to Fenris and Fallout from the Fade :) 

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No, I write sporadically and at weird times, I think I’d be a nightmare to collaborate with

What’s your all-time favourite ship? I pretty much only have ships when it’s player character you get to design + another character, and you get to have some control over the narrative/there’s room for personal interpretation; which is why I only really write for Dragon Age/Mass Effect. Within those, I like Solavellan, FenHawke, and Shakarian; though there’s others I hope to write for and delve deeper into someday.

What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? I never published it because I know I’m unlikely to finish it + the Mass Effect: Andromeda fandom wasn’t as large/interested; but I still love the start of the WIP I have examining Ryder’s complex relationship with SAM.

What are your writing strengths? I like to think I’m good at building tension. My favorite part of writing Fallout from the Fade was the section where I ended every chapter on a terrible cliffhanger and people yelled at me in the comments. 

What are your writing weaknesses? I’m not funny :( in real life too, i have to rely on absurdism 

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? If there is a translation in the text and it’s not more than a few words or lines at a time I enjoy it. Otherwise it can pull me out of the narrative. 

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Dragon Age :) didn’t start writing fic until after DAI, 

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written? Fallout my baby I will finish you someday... I have a whole outline and thoughts on upcoming stuff and everything I’ve been holding in my head for a year, but I need to reread it before I get back to it, and lord am I short on free time these days :( I’ve seen a bunch of people already post these, so not sure who all has done this yet but: @roseategales @m-m-m-myysurana @lesbianarcana and if you haven’t yet but would like to, please consider this me tagging you and @ me so I can read it! :)

[wafflesrock16]

Shakarian Life/Death AU

The second choice in my drabble poll. It’s said that the personifications of Life and Death have been in love since the dawn of creation...

“Life and death have been in love for longer than we have words to describe. Life sends countless gifts to Death... and Death keeps them forever.” --Anonymous 

Most saw death as an end to be feared, black and cold and cruel. Death didn’t like to think of herself that way. She wasn’t cold--or at least she didn’t think so. She cherished all the souls she shepherded into the afterlife. And while she did undeniably like the color black, she also enjoyed the color red. And blue. Blue was her favorite 

Death was a name bestowed upon her, but not one she’d have chosen for herself. She preferred to be called ‘Shepard.’ At least by friends. Not that she had many, but there were a few, and they tended to choose their own monikers as well. 

Ocean, for example, for reasons nobody could understand, liked to be called ‘Jack.’ Shepard supposed the name was fitting for the ocean’s tempestuous, unpredictable nature. Why Moon wanted to be called ‘Miranda’ was another mystery. 

Miranda and Jack enjoyed a loving, if not complex relationship. It ebbed and flowed, pushed and pulled yet remained an unbreakable force. 

���Perhaps the only relationship more complicated than Jack and I is yours and Life,” Miranda had stated in a crisp, erudite tone. 

Shepard glanced down at the swirling marble of blue and green that hung below them in the infinite cosmos. Swirling clouds coruscated across the surface in an unending dance. The world looked like a joyous, happy place. Shepard frowned.

 “Life--Garrus--can be so cruel,” she sighed. “Sometimes I swear he creates life for no reason other than to watch its light flicker and fade. Then I’m called heartless. I’m the one who ends the suffering.”

Miranda hummed, ethereal light reflecting off her ebony hair and making it glow a radiant silver. “We all have duties. Not all of them are pleasant.” She turned her pale face to Shepard, settling her hands on her lap. Her starlight gown pooled beneath her like a silk river. “You ought to talk to him. He misses you.”

“I know.” Shepard lowered her head, crimson hair creating a curtain across her face. “He still sends me gifts,” she murmured. “The most beautiful souls from his most treasured creations. But,” she lifted her face to look Miranda in the eye. “I don’t want his gifts. I want…” she trailed off, unsure how to explain. 

Miranda rose from the silver crescent of her throne and beamed down at Shepard. “I know,” she whispered softly as a night breeze. “Tell him.”

Shepard stepped out under the orange melon glow of sunset. Soon, the sky would erupt in color; reds and golds, pinks and orange. Everything--even the atmosphere seemed to resist fading away. That wasn’t what sunset was about, of course. It, like so many other phenomenons the creatures of the world admired for their beauty, had been created by Garrus specifically for Shepard. 

She watched the light show blossom over the green valleys and meadows with eyes the same verdant hue as summer grass. Eyes she’d selected because Garrus liked the color. 

“Shepard!”

She turned toward the burning white light of Life. It pulsed and diminished until Garrus stood, framed by eternal sunshine like colossal wings, blue eyes aflame. His form was different to that chosen by herself, Jack and Miranda. There were others who preferred the tall, armored and plated appearance. He had talons and fangs, mandibles and a crest of horns. He looked at once radiant and dangerous. Which was an apt personification for life, if Shepard considered it. 

“Shepard, I… I’ve missed you.” Garrus stopped in front of her. Close enough for her to reach out and caress his scared mandible. For Life wasn’t flawless, but rather a rugged thing, whose beauty shone all the brighter for the imperfections. 

“I know. I just…” Shepard sighed, before squaring her shoulders and looking her love in the eyes. “I needed some time. After the war… there were so many, Garrus. Some were so young. I know you don’t control the famine, plague, pestilence and war. But it was a lot.”

Garrus nodded, the dying rays of sunlight reflecting off his silver plates and throwing the cobalt cloak he wore into stark relief. “I know. I didn’t want- never want, my creations to meet violent ends. It’s a comfort to know they’re going with you, at least.” He dared to take a step forward, then another. Slowly, giving her the chance to pull away if she wanted, he reached out to her. 

Shepard squeezed his hands. So much larger and rougher than her own. Different, but familiar. The hands that held her, that threaded through her hair, that drew sighs and hushed pleas as they worked--calibrated, to use his words--her corporal body into a writhing mess. 

“Shepard.” He purred the word, using both sets of vocals. It gave his voice a smokey quality that Shepard loved. “I’m sorry if my gifts have caused you pain. I… want you to be happy. I can’t control what my creations do with the life I give them.”

She moved, taking the final step to press into his warm, glowing embrace. “I know,” she sighed against his tunic. Her long, flowing shawl of midnight fluttered in the evening breeze.

Twilight was the time they’d carved out for themselves. On the cusp of light and dark, Life and Death would join together, confirming their devotion. 

Shepard lifted onto her toes as Garrus bent his head. He tasted of mint and holly, fresh spring water and brilliant dawn. Her hands wrapped around his neck and he pulled her closer. Stars burst overhead in a glorious cacophony of diamond and glittering nebula spun away as Life and Death reaffirmed their vows. 

“You still want to be a one deity kind of woman?” Garrus breathed against her parted lips. 

“I love you, Life. Garrus Vakarian. Until the end of all things.”

She felt more than heard his rumbling reply, pitched in octaves lower than the sounds of seeds coming to life within their bed of soil and clouds forming in the heavens. “I love you too, Death. My Shepard. Always.”

Far away, Time hummed an old song he’d heard somewhere, reciting fractions and events over in his infinite mind in a rapid-fire succession no mortal could ever keep pace with. He glanced down upon Life and Death in intimate embrace.  

As it should be, he mused upon the pair. There is no Life without Death. No Shepard without Vakarian.

[wontyoureadtome]

Life is Kicking my Ass Have a Podfic Masterpost

So I never properly caught up on stuff after my move, and with everything else going on I’ve kinda fallen behind on, uh, everything. 

So rather then keep giving you guys kinda meh updates I’ve decided to skip this week’s update in favor of getting my shit together. 

In the meantime please enjoy this massive Podfic Masterpost of the last FOUR YEARS (copy/pasted from Patreon; all links open to Ao3).

2016 - self-taught shenaniganary, aka ohgodtherearesomanymistakeswhyareyoulisteningtothis

I Used to Live Alone Before I Knew You (Sherlock- JohnLock)

The Not-So-Romantic Tale of the Swordsman and the Cook  (One Piece- ZoSan)

Marked Introductions (Mass Effect- Shakarian)

I Did This For You  (One Piece- ZoSan)

The Babbling Truth   (One Piece- ZoSan)

After-School Karate Lessons  (One Punch Man- GenoSai)

Rain Lily   (One Piece- ZoSan)

Memories  (One Piece- ZoSan)

2017- okay getting better, also the year Ninja discovers McHanzo

Four Days  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Target Panic (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Sugar Crystal Sisyphus (Overwatch-GenYatta)

Blue Roses and Salted Caramel  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

The Thought That Counts (One Piece- ZoSan)

Mathmatics  (Sherlock- JohnLock)

Both is Better  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Clipped Wings (Overwatch-McHanzo)

2018- Aww yeah that’s the good shit

Safekeeping  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Those Handcuffs  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Fraternization (One Punch Man- GenoSai)

Work of Fiction  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Poptart (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Hysteria (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Five Times Hanzo Shimada Lost His Composure  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Do You Mind?  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Condition of Learned Helplessness (One Punch Man- GenoSai)

In Resounding Silence (Overwatch-McHanzo)

"I'm His Husband" (One Punch Man- GenoSai)

A Faithful Companion (Overwatch-McHanzo)

No Good Deed  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Come Around (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Second Thoughts (A Monster with Two Heads and One Heartbeat) (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Rooster in the House of the Rising Sun  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

2:30 AM  (Overwatch-McHanzo)

The Charcoal Burner (One Punch Man- GenoSai)

Paint It Black (One Punch Man- GenoSai)

Christmas Past & Present (Overwatch-McHanzo)

2019- We’re in this for the long haul

intra-personal negotiation (Venom-SymBrock)

McHanzo Mini-Podfics [have non-Ao3 links] (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Sabotage (Overwatch-Reaper76)

Thank the Iris it's Tuesday's (Overwatch-McHanzo)

The Pocket Trials (One Punch Man-GenoSai)

Aerodynamic Qualities of the Uncommon Gunslinger (Overwatch-McHanzo)

I Am Groot (Guardians of the Galaxy-Joke Podfic)

Raging Stallion WIP (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Sugar on Top (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Yours, Mine, Ours (Venom-SymBrock)

Acceptable Substitute (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Not Pets (Overwatch)

Ghost Stories on Route 66 WIP (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Bested (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Midway (Overwatch-McHanzo)

What's in a Name? (Overwatch-DoomCio)

The Taste of You, Like Ashes and Chocolate (Overwatch-McHanzo)

Aaaaaaand we’ll stop it here since I don’t have a pre-made list for 2020. 

In short, thank you all so very very much for listening, thank you for your patience, and I’ll see you next week  ❤

[iheartgarrus]

N7 Month Day 25: Legend

(AO3 Link - Quick and dirty Shakarian, and I do mean dirty! All under the cut for spice.)

Shepard had had her fair share of sexual partners over the years. Fumbling explorations with other teens on Alliance ships, one-night stands on shore leave, a couple of regular booty calls here and there. And she would say maybe… 60% of those partners (lower if you only counted the men, sadly) had been gracious enough to go down on her, with varying degrees of skill.

But she was hard-pressed to remember a single one of them now that she'd experienced Garrus.

And if it were only about the 30-centimeter prehensile tongue, she would figure this was a bonus inherent to sleeping with a turian. But his species didn't account for his enthusiasm - the way he dove in, ravenous and groaning at her taste, holding her legs open so he could have his fill. It didn't account for his dogged determination and laser focus, watching her with that sniper's gaze and chasing every gasp and moan until she flew over the edge (sometimes over and over again). And she didn't have any especial attraction to turians, so it also didn't account for why his face buried between her legs was one of the sexiest fucking things she'd ever seen.

No, Shepard was fairly certain - Garrus Vakarian's oral talents were simply the stuff of legends.

[incorrectly-quoted-queers]

Drunk Punch Love: INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL

Pairing: FemShep and Garrus Vakarian (Shakarian)

Rating: PG-13 (with some tossed F-bombs)

Summary: Their awkward, badass journey through saving the galaxy and accidentally falling in love

INTERMISSION ARCHANGEL: 10 Days 

Garrus could hardly stomach the funeral. He was surrounded by countless stiff shirts and big banners and people who knew her as the Commander, the savior.

He didn't want to think about how few of them actually knew her. It made him feel sick.

But he was stuck thinking about them, because thinking about the fact she wasn't here to make fun of all the dumb revelry, or sneak away with him to pester gunners about their stocks, made it far worse. It was like he had a bleeding wound in his chest and it wouldn't fucking stop, and everyone else was just figuring out how to sign each other's casts.

Bright spots were family speeches; Anderson, Joker, and Admiral Shepard stepping up and talking about the woman before the hero. That was the kind of things he wanted to think about: Anya, getting her first pointe shoes on the same birthday she got her first gun. Anya, the loud snorer who failed the tests she studied and aced the ones she didn't. Anya, who never took the Alliance seriously until she went on her first mission, because the second she got a taste of saving people, it changed her.

Hearing stories that sounded even the smallest bit like the Anya Shepard he knew was so much better than all the pomp and circumstance bullshit happening around it.

When it got to the reception, he wasn't even sure if he should stay. He couldn't look Joker and Kaidan in the eyes, knowing their stubborn asses were why she wasn't here. And the rest of the crew? They didn't understand what happened that day. They didn't understand how the Collector ship ripped everything he thought was solid and strong to shreds.

That was the extra bullshit; only Shepard would spook an otherwise mythical species back into existence. Nothing normal could ever take her down.

But it was that part about her getting taken down that was still fucking him up.

Hell, maybe the other two didn't deserve as much blame. He could've dragged her into that escape pod, but like the rest, he listened to her orders and let her go.

Garrus should've known "I'll find you" was heroic bullshit.

Instead of listening to another person ooze about said heroism, he shoved past a frightened looking Kaidan and walked out of the memorial. Guy half looked like he thought Garrus might've been serious about his threat. He hadn't contemplated killing Kaidan, not really, but maybe that would make him feel better, replace his own bleeding heart with something else.

Walking around the Citadel, he didn't know how, but he ended up at a bar. And he ordered the strongest drink he could think of, Krogan ryncol, but he couldn't stomach swallowing it. He just ended up staring down at the bottom of the glass, wondering what Shepard would say to him.

Suddenly, a voice that sounded a little too familiar was talking to him. "You just came from the service, right?" Garrus had to blink a few times as he looked up. In front of him was a blonde, weathered woman in Alliance garb, with one robotic, blue eye and a green one that he knew too well. All throughout her face, there were echoes of the woman he was aching to hear from, but it wasn't her. She extended a hand. "Oksana Shepard. I couldn't stand the fluff, either. And if you salute me right now, I'll punch you."

He took her hand and gestured to the seat next to him. That last part also sounded familiar. "Garrus Vakarian."

"You're one of the strays she picked up for her mission tracking down Saren. From the reports I swiped, she thought highly of you."

Any other day, he'd take that as a compliment. But right now, it just felt like another concussive shot to the chest. "The feeling was mutual."

"How was she doing, at the end? And not the savior of the citadel pride that she lied to me about."

Garrus traced the rim of his glass with his talon, not really sure if this was a conversation or an interrogation. The seriousness in Admiral Shepard's voice hinted towards the latter. But her rank didn't make him feel any easier about it. Garrus said, "I don't know-"

"I respect your loyalty to her, but she's dead, Vakarian. Let me know my daughter."

Swallowing, he saw where Shepard got her intensity. He finally sucked it up and downed some of the ryncol. Garrus tried his best not to picture her face too much; it made it hurt worse. "She was struggling. Losing Ash... our Gunnery Chief, it really dug into her problems with Akuze. And after Saren, the rest of us were moving on. She didn't like that, either. I didn't know until the end how much. If the Collectors hadn't hit, I probably would've changed my plans and stayed, help her get ready for the next fight. But I guess that's not an option now."

"You two were close?"

He could feel Shepard's hand in his, calloused but small and holding onto him like he was a lifeline. And he could hear her in his ear, telling him how he reminded her to be human. And he even could feel her breath on his cheek, practically begging him not to go, but then-

Garrus downed the rest of the vile drink. Before he answered, his other hand fisted the fabric of his pants and his talons dug into his flesh. "Yeah, we were close."

Next to him, Admiral Shepard hit her fist into the table. "I want to blame her comrades, like you. I want to blame myself for making a soldier out of a dancer. I even want to blame my Anya. But it doesn't matter, because my beautiful little foolish detenysh is gone and I'm alone."

"Detenysh?"

For the first time since she sat down, Admiral Shepard smiled. "My crew used to call me the mother bear of the Alliance. So when she was born, they called her the cub. My little cub. My detenysh. It's-"

"Russian. Shepard mentioned it."

"She told you a lot, didn't she?" Admiral Shepard was putting a hand on his shoulder, and it was hard to make out her expression. Unlike his Commander, who spoke with her whole face, the Admiral only made the subtletest movements. "Were you and my daughter...?"

For that one, Garrus could be firm. Or, at least, fairly honest. "No. Shepard was my best friend."

With an eyebrow raised, the Admiral kept going. "Okay, sure, but did you two ever-"

"No!" Garrus realized he said it a little too loud a little too late. Despite his answer, the Admiral had this uncomfortable smirk on her face. He didn't want to be looked at like that. Especially not by someone who looked so much like... Rubbing his forehead, he tried to clear things up. "Nothing like that happened between the Commander and I."

Admiral Shepard shrugged. "Too bad. My daughter struggled to connect with people. But I suppose a best friend will do." Taking a deep sigh, she leaned on his shoulder to stand up, looking older than her years. "Thank you, for being her friend. Now, I'd love to embarrass some stories out of you, but I'm sure the Alliance leadership isn't happy I disappeared. And I probably need to save Joker from politics." With way too heavy a hand, she patted his back. "Best of luck, Garrus Vakarian."

And she walked off, just like that.

He'd love to say that the conversation comforted him. But if anything, it only made him angrier. If Shepard was here, she'd laugh with him about how goddamn awkward that was, and she'd tell him stories about how her mom always pried like that. Something.

Instead, he just got to sit here silence, alone.

No matter what the hell he and Shepard were, clearly they were getting somewhere, their friendship mattered. All that talk she had of not being a good enough hero? Somehow, he felt like he was helping her wash that self-loathing and doubt away. And she had definitely been making a better man out of him. Hell, he was ready to ship himself off to the Spectres for the chance the help the galaxy like she did.

But one goddamn laser and none of that mattered anymore.

Well, one goddamn laser and two idiot men who he knew were just doing their jobs, but dammit, he wished they did them better.

All he had left was his empty glass and a mirage of a woman across the table from him, her soft brown hair falling out of its ties, giggling over childhood romance and her own loneliness. Her green eyes squinted away when she laughed, because she always laughed with her whole face, kinda like she was about to sneeze. And he'd never see that again.

Okay, it was time to leave the bar.

Garrus wasn't quite sure when he started walking towards the Alliance shore leave apartments, trying to find out if there was anything left of her there. But when he got there, to the one she'd shown him their first time on the Citadel, her name plate was already gone.

Goddamn everything he knew about her was just slipping away and he couldn't stop it.

Staring at the empty plate, he lost any level of self-control. Pounding his fists against the door, he just wanted the pain to go away. Or better, he wanted her to open this damn door, tell him it was all just some awful, elaborate undercover mission and she was back and they could be like they were before.

But he only got a few pounds in before a door opened across the hall. Lucky man he was, it was old brown eyes and biotics himself, Lieutenant Alenko.

When their gazes met, he could see the fear in Alenko's eyes. He'd seen that kind of fear before, normally from new-to-space humans who assumed turians were angry, war-hungry monsters.

Between him and Alenko, though, they knew exactly why he should be afraid of him.

Before he could even get in a word, Garrus put his forearm against his chest and shoved him against the wall. "Because of you, she's not here anymore. Do you even have anything to say about that?"

He knew he was probably going too far, and he could tell from how Kaidan was breathing that he was putting a lot of pressure on his windpipe. But frankly, he didn't give a damn. It took a moment, but Kaidan finally said, "I'm sorry, Garrus. I fucked up. I-" Garrus just pushed harder.

Out of nowhere, Kaidan's door opened and Liara came out, in an Alliance robe, clutching a fistful of biotics. "Garrus, put him down."

Of all the things he wanted to do, his favorite would be to shove Kaidan through some Presidium glass and see the shatter patterns, but he listened. After all, maybe telling them what assholes they were would make them feel worse than some broken bones. Garrus crossed his arms and said, "Riiight, I remember Shepard told me you two hooked up. Well, congratulations, without your pathetic crushes on her you wouldn't be here together. You get to be happy. But she's not here, and you both know that's bullshit."

Kaidan started, "I think we should all just-"

When he flicked his glare over to him, the biotic stopped dead. "I don't take orders from you."

"Garrus, she wouldn't want you to do this." His head turned to Liara, and it felt like she was peeling away his plating with a welding knife. "I know how you feel-"

"None of you understand how I feel." He didn't want to be any closer to Liara, and he definitely didn't want to admit there was anything right to what she was saying, but slowly the ache started winning over the anger. "Fuck, I just need to go."

They might have called for him another time or two, but he didn't listen. He just wanted to be off this damn station, and anywhere but here.

He was over the Alliance and their bullshit; the only thing good about it was Shepard and now she was gone. Without her, all he wanted to do was go somewhere her memory hadn't infested.

Without even heading back to his old apartment, Garrus booked the first passage to Palaven.

///

This is a fun littler Intermission I wanted to do, exploring Garrus' side of things during the two years Shepard is gone. But it's only a few chapters, then we'll be back to Part 2.

Thanks so much for reading, and double thanks to my lovely patrons:

Danyell Jones

Amy Connolly

If you'd like to support my stories, please go check out my bio for more info. All proceeds will be going towards a gaming desktop so my lovely sass can game on Twitch with fans

Twitter: (at)Steph_Marceau

Wattpad: user/GraceJordan13

[words-writ-in-starlight]

Shakarian, Old West AU (Constable Garrus!) or DS9 AU (Constable Garrus!!)

I’ve actually never sen DS9 (I know, scandalous), so Old West it is!  For this ask meme!  Also, you get bonus points for being the first person so far to ask me about Mass Effect.

think you’re so tough (baby, put your hands up)

Garrus is one of the constables of Citadel, in the territory of Wyoming, the biggest city west of Saint Louis, largely because his daddy was the sheriff and everyone knew that after the Vakarian kid came back from fighting for the Union, he was going to do the exact same thing.  Make his family proud and all that.

Except that Garrus hates being stuck in one place, got kind of a taste for travel with the army, and his daddy ain’t too proud of his tendency to go off half-cocked and solve problems out of court. Garrus is a crack shot and an excellent detective, but his luck is for shit and he spends half his time trying to figure out how to bring people to justice when he knows they’re guilty but can’t prove it to the satisfaction of a judge.  He’s never going to advance and everyone, including his father, knows it, because the sheriff knows that giving Garrus an impossible case is damn well going to get it resolved--just, probably not in a way Vakarian Senior would so much approve of.

The upside to getting impossible cases makes itself pretty damn evident, though, because see, he got this hunch about someone who passed through and stayed in Citadel a while, someone from the government who claimed to be a Spectre.  Spectres are--something.  Like a bounty hunter, charged by the government to get things done by any means, but with powers to demand information or claim the spoils of battle without contest.  They’re the ideal of justice without bureaucracy, they’re a story that gets told around campfires and over drinks, and Garrus has a bad feeling about this one.  The upside to getting mostly impossible cases is that no one blinks when Garrus wanders off following a hunch.

So when another one, a woman in men’s clothes with hair like a sunset and a level stare and a small armory strapped to her back, walks into Citadel and asks if they have any information, Garrus signs up to go with her and doesn’t look back.

Miss Shepard will be needing someone who’s good with a rifle, after all.

[squigglysquidd]

7, 14 and 25 for Nocturni shakarian and Fibonacci shakarian?

7. Favorite date activity?

Nocturni

Neither of them really have any place on Omega they like to go since the station itself is mostly unsafe with the slight exception being the clubs, but Jai gets anxious in large claustrophobic crowds. 

Off the station, however, Garrus is more the one to not want to go out. On Omega, not many people really care about his looks because they’re too busy with their own lives, but off the station, his looks gain more gawking attention. He hates it, but he knows Jai likes to have time away from home or any kind of work, so he has come to devise ways to take her out to areas where they really aren’t supposed to be, but that offer the peace and quiet they both want and need. A favorite place they end up having is on top of one of the Presidium walkways like in the games. They often have a makeshift picnic either in the car or closer to the alcove on the sides so they aren’t blown around by the wind.

Fibonacci

Jana is so new to the world that she can’t really say she has a definite favorite. She’s still open to anything and wants to explore, but something that she enjoys is flying. Once she gets over the initial fear of falling (which would never happen when she’s in his arms, he promises) she loves when he can take her high up and the two of them can look out over the cities from atop a tall tower. The Citadel City is her favorite to look out over because she can see everything from the Council’s Tower to the far reaches of the outlying farms just beyond the city. She may not want to look directly down out of that still nagging fear, but watching the horizon isn’t as unnerving.

14. Is there anything they associate with each other?

Nocturni

Jai associates warmth and comfort with Garrus. He’s just so big he’s like a giant weighted blanket that can hold her and sing to her when she’s having a panic attack. She loves Jimmu, of course, but what’s better than being able to be held in someone’s arms with her support pupper?

For Garrus, Jai makes him think of light, calm, and purity. She seems so untouched by the horrors of the station that he can’t believe she isn’t an embodiment of the Spirits in the beginning. She may not be so innocent, but she’s stronger than her pain and still finds it in her to care for others above herself. When he questions his reason for living, for fighting from just ending it all, he thinks of her. She is his reason to live and fight for something.

Fibonacci

It may seem simple, but Jana associates flight and the freedom it grants to Garrus. Sure, he can fly, but even his attitude is so carefree compared to everything she saw her own Garrus suffer from. Prince Garrus even lightens her life in time, giving her reason to see the good in life. He may not be 100% innocent and carefree, but he isn’t scarred from life, still able to see that there can still be justice in the world.

Prince Garrus, on the other hand, is an absolute sap. Ask him and he’d probably be able to find a connection between Jana and anything you put in front of him, lol. However, if he was to think of the first thing he began to associate with her, it’d be a sense of rebirth, of the return of hope. He’d describe her being like a flower in Palaven that curls its petals inward at nights and during times of harsh weather in order to protect itself. Jana had withdrawn from pain, protecting herself from whatever he didn’t know at the time, but she eventually began to open up, showing her true beauty. 

25. Share any headcanons about their relationship.

Nocturni

I’m sure people already know this, but Jai and Garrus quickly develop a kink for his feeding. It starts out as simply her feeding him, but she quickly starts to like it, even going so far as to start taking anemia medication so that feeding him doesn’t put too much stress on her own body. At first, he denies her, but when she starts to explain how she feels about it, he stops denying himself the fact that he also loves the way he can taste her, the way her blood revitalizes him.

Fibonacci 

Everyone around them are rooting for Garrus and it feels like Jana is the only one oblivious to the way he feels. It’s less that she doesn’t see it and more that she’s blinded herself because of her pain, but Prince Garrus ends up getting plenty of help from all species to woo her. It finally gets to the point where Jana would have to be covering her eyes and ears to not see what he’s doing because he makes it so obvious. The other Normandy crew may or may not be snickering at his expense before then, though, lol

Thanks for the asks!