#also a bard because theyre so musically inclined

[aladaylessecondblog]

Fallen Star, pt. 7

Author's Note: Warning, long. 5k words, no smut. Sadara goes to Kogoruhn. There is the breakdown of a cliffracer carcass in this chapter.

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The trip was largely silent, for certainly Rather couldn't speak. He knew exactly what route to take, so Sadara let him lead her by the hand despite how cold, deathly, and rough his skin felt.

When the occasional corprus beast or cliffracer threatened them, Rather was the first to charge magic, to put himself between her and the threat, and blast it until it stopped moving. He didn't seem puzzled that she joined in, but he DID when she grabbed the (now bloodless) cliffracer and started shoving it into one of her empty bags.

He gestured briefly at the cliffracer's body, then waved his hands.

"You eat corprusmeat," she said, "I don't. There's good eating on these things. V--Lord Dagoth sent me out with rations, but...meat is meat."

That answer seemed to satisfy him, and he lead her onward. East of Vemynal, according to the map, though Rather didn't seem to need one. She wondered if none of the Buoyant Armigers knew of this way in...if they did, then they weren't able to take it. Kogoruhn WAS a large base after all, and if it was inhabited by one of Voryn's brothers--ash vampire, the thought came a second later--then it wasn't going to be easy to conquer.

She'd come through Kogoruhn before, somehow managed to sneak past most of those within. But two she remembered.

Dagoth Ulen had mocked her for what he perceived as her devotion to Azura. "Ah, she's sucked you in with her pretty prophecies. Promised you power, did she? Promised you justice, did she? And when did a Daedra Lord ever fulfill a promise? Such a faulty memory you have."

She'd responded that she didn't even worship Azura, that she had been brought up to fear the daedric princes--that now remembering Voryn, Lord Dagoth as the sleepers all called him--she wanted to see him first, before she did anything more. Before she obeyed Azura's commands, obeyed her much farther--

"Mortals are but simple sport to the Daedra Lords. They pull the strings, and you poor fools leap and dance..."

"I dance to no one's tune but my own," she'd replied, "I am only here because--I want to see him before I--make any decisions."

That had seemed to calm him, temporarily. And as Rather lead her into the tunnel, she wondered then what Uthol would have to say. Him she'd told the same thing--that she wanted to see Voryn before doing anything else.

Sadara started to remove the scarf covering everything but her eyes and let it hang about her neck. She tensed when she saw another ascended sleeper up ahead.

What if this was all a trap? What if they meant to kill her here? What if--

Rather stopped in place, and turned back, patting the back of her hand. Perhaps trying to reassure her, she couldn't be entirely sure. But the other sleeper neared, and when it spoke she was sure it was Ulen. That thin, reedy voice that heightened into something more like a trumpet when he grew excited. Like a living wind instrument, like words spoken through them--wrong, utterly wrong. But still he was.

"Nerevar, how glad we are that you have seen the light!"

Rather shuffled aside so Ulen could approach; the latter raised his (shaking?) rough hands to her face.

"No more a puppet of prophecy. No more a tool of Azura. We welcome you, Nerevar Sadara."

"I...thank you." Sadara knew not what to say for a moment, knew not where to look. There were holes on Ulen's face, but none of them looked like proper eyes at which to direct her own. "There's no need for the fuss. Not that I'm ungrateful for V...Lord Dagoth's welcome, it's just..."

"Come, come." This time it was Ulen who lead her by the hand. Rather followed along behind them. "Lord Uthol expects you."

"It's really not necessary to bother him, I can't imagine he'll be very thrilled."

He'd let her through before, but she was sure he'd be as ill pleased as Gilvoth had been. She wouldn't really blame him for it, either. Someone calling themselves the Nerevarine waltzes in, spreads her legs, and thinks THAT's all it takes to--

It is not you he wants, but Nerevar.

"We are always happy when we receive a new follower. But for Nerevar to return and join us? THAT is worthy of celebration!" Ulen was all excited flutes now, "It has pleased our Lord greatly, and his joy is our joy."

"He's told you already?"

"Did you think our Lord would keep your presence a secret from the rest of his House? He would never treat you so cruelly."

"I...I didn't expect such a greeting, was all," Sadara went on in a slightly less shaky voice, "Considering the prophecy, I was certain that I'd be viewed with more suspicion, like everyone else on Vvardenfell has--"

"Such malice is the domain of Azura, she who thought herself the architect of your destiny, the designer of your misery. You are wiser than you at first seemed, and I offer my abject apologies for the assumption that you would fulfill those prophecies."

"No, there's no need to apologize. Really. I...I would be suspicious too, if I had been..."

Everything is fine. You're just in some tunnel underground with a couple of ascended sleepers and you're not wearing armor at all. It's not as though they would kill you and leave you here.

They could.

Sure, she had a longsword at her hip and a dagger hidden beneath the robe, but they were strong enough they could make short work of her before she could even lift a blade.

But they didn't.

"If I were one of you," she finally finished.

"That you are not, yet soon you shall be, by the grace of Lord Dagoth."

Sadara swallowed nervously when they approached a door. She still couldn't get Gilvoth's last look out of her head, that dour tone. Uthol had been friendly enough when she'd last come through, but...at the same time, she wasn't sure how he might take...the situation. She didn't know how much Voryn had shared, or how he'd worded it. He didn't exactly tell her these things...

Gods, what a fool I am.

The door opened, and Ulen let go of her hand, moving forward and turning toward someone she couldn't see as she entered, with Rather following close behind. She realized she was sweating, and took the scarf off to dab at the sweat on her brow.

"And there she is," came Uthol's voice. "Well met, Nerevar, well met indeed. Fortune smiles. You have survived the journey, made your submission..."

Sadara lowered her hands, and absent-mindedly wrapped one a few times over with the scarf. "And now here I am."

Uthol's eyes trailed slightly downward from her face, and she noticed a strange little smile.

"I didn't think you would take my suggestion quite so literally."

Sadara was confused, but reached up to touch her neck when Uthol gestured. There was pain over the spot--

Oh, gods, I COMPLETELY forgot about the bite mark he left!

She flushed with embarrassment and instantly said, hoping he didn't notice that too, "You can blame the Dagoth Brandy for that. I was...I wanted to clear the air about some things I didn't remember, and...well, there's no need to go on about it. I...I hope not to bother you overmuch, I know Gilvoth certainly wasn't happy about--"

"Gilvoth is never happy about anything," Uthol said, waving one hand absently. "And given the way Lord Dagoth's vision of your future in our House has changed, I can surmise the reason fairly easily. Perhaps he would simply like peace and solitude once more."

Again, she blushed.

"I...I hope," Sadara stammered slightly, "Still, that my presence will not...be an annoyance."

"Annoyance?" Uthol snorted and laughed. "Annoyance? You come to Lord Dagoth, you swear you mean neither him nor the House of Dagoth any harm, and you are to join us. Nerevar. And think we would find your presence grating?"

"It has not been an easy road getting here," she said quietly, "Native Dunmer are...quite hostile to outsiders. One gets the feeling that one is annoying simply by existing from the direction of the Empire. But considering all that the Empire has done, I understand. But House Dagoth is the first time I ever felt welcomed, and...it's been a breath of fresh air."

Really, it had been. It was, she was sure, part of the reason she'd fallen so easily into Voryn's arms. For the first time since her mother had passed, she felt truly wanted somewhere. But that was just Voryn. She hadn't considered the rest of his House, though given Gilvoth's reaction she'd been reasonably sure they'd be just as ill pleased.

"Even if V--Lord Dagoth insists on sending me here with an escort. As if I couldn't make the journey myself. Has he always been so cautious?"

"We were informed of your condition, so in that case, I cannot say I fault him for this caution. Is it true--your wounds will not heal by spell or by potion?"

She almost felt she shouldn't answer the question, but Uthol seemed genuinely concerned.

"It's true. I've tried several times on smaller wounds. I heal like anyone without magic, but it seems...Lord Dagoth himself is the only one who can outright heal my wounds with spells." And now she felt sheepish for even protesting at the escort. "I can only assume Azura is responsible for it, considering. At first she scolded me for my disobedience, but now she's gone silent."

"At any rate," Uthol said, changing the subject, "We're glad to have you join us here, and some of the sleepers have prepared a room."

"I'm--grateful for that, thank you," Sadara said, "And I'd be more than glad to keep talking. But...and I hate to ask even more from you, I...killed a cliffracer, would you happen to have a kitchen area I could break it down in?"

She pulled out the cliffracer's plucked body from one of her bags. Once more she expected a negative response.

Once more she was greeted with the opposite of what she expected.

Uthol laughed. "Not as such, but I'm sure Ulen could find you an appropriate place to do it in. Do mind the ash poets, though, they may start...piping at you, considering what your presence means. When they're excitable they tend to break into music."

"I'll keep it in mind, Lord Uthol."

He nodded, and added as she was leaving. "If I may, it will be good to have a lady in the house again. Not that I dislike the company of my brothers and the sleepers, but House Dagoth has a sad lack of women."

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Rather was her shadow into the makeshift kitchen, but it was Ulen who provided most of the conversation as he helped her break down the cliffracer.

"It has been some time since I had need to do this," he said, "But it is like a light spell, once you learn it, you never forget."

"You tended game fairly often?" she asked.

"Certainly. I remember fairly little, but," Ulen replied, sorting through the daggers in her weapons bag until he found some appropriate for carving, "I know I had a daughter, and that I enjoyed the domestic side of life."

"...what brought you here, then? To--to House Dagoth."

Ulen's trunked head lowered as he hacked off the head of the cliffracer. "A bandit raid. My daughter was caught...and by the time I found her=...it was too late."

"I'm so sorry. I--I lost my mother fairly early, though they're not quite the same thing. It was just illness with mine, not...did you have no one else?"

"No one. I was alone, until the Sixth House. Lord Dagoth could not fully erase the pain, but he could blot from my mind the horrors I witnessed. I did not want to remember my daughter as she died, but as she lived...and he gave me that."

Sadara gave a weak smile, but then shifted as a question occurred to her. She cut off the lower fin of the cliffracer, then made a small lateral cut below the breast so she could start removing the skin. "He can make you forget things?"

"Indeed he can, but this he does only for those who move higher in his service. Perhaps it shall be different for you. I do not know, it is not my concern. You are different from us, Nerevar."

"Please," she said suddenly. "Call me Sadara. It is not that I reject who I am, but...as I told V--Lord Dagoth, it feels almost disrespectful. I am him, but if I'm here, then he isn't. He suggested taking Nerevar as the name of my House. I didn't want to use Indoril, for obvious reasons."

"An excellent idea, until the time you join House Dagoth." Ulen pulled the cliffracer breast away from the neck and back, and Sadara, having cleaned her hands and a dagger again, reached for a jar to drop the more inedible organs in. "Lord Dagoth is ready to welcome you, but you seem to know that already."

"It's...overwhelming," she replied in a weak voice, "To go from nothing, to this prophecy, to...a god's open arms...I never thought to find myself secure, let alone..."

Even if I am just Nerevar to him...even if he never sees me as more than that. If I can only change his mind...maybe, maybe...I can finally just REST. I don't need to be a King or a leader like Nerevar was, I'd be happy just being the woman on Voryn's arm...

"...let alone welcomed as I have been. Given what I did about the corprus..."

"Lord Dagoth is not angered by that, we know. It was a way to know that you were Nerevar reborn, after all."

"He said it would be a pity to...to mar a thing of beauty, even with the bounty of his divine disease." Sadara blushed briefly, and looked back to the carcass as Ulen was pulling out the crop, gizzard, and intestinal tract. "I'd never heard such compliments before. It's strange...when I prayed to the Divines, I would ask Mara for a heroic knight, and now I find that I've been sent a god. Perhaps someone wishes to make things up to me."

"Have you considered that that person may be Lord Dagoth himself?"

"'Wisdom, a firm friend, and all the power you need to set the world aright,'" Sadara quoted the note, "He called himself a respectful servant...and a loyal friend."

That of Nerevar's memories which had returned only confirmed that. Voryn had never been anything but loyal, that she could remember. Said what he meant, and meant what he said. Her heart leaped at the idea that it could extend into what had begun to grow between them.

"My only fear in all of this," Sadara lied, "Is Lady Azura's wrath. She has already gotten angry at me for not doing what she sent me for, and...I fear that more may happen the longer this goes on."

"She shall have no opportunity to enact any vengeance; you shall be well-guarded. Lord Dagoth wants no member of his house to worry for their safety." He worked with her in silence for a minute or two, then waited as she cleaned her hands again. "Least of all, his lady."

his lady

How sweet that sounded.

She had a few ash yams and some saltrice, and made a fairly decent stew out of it and the bulk of the cliffracer's edible meat. The scent seemed to draw in some of the other Dagoths, and she looked about for other bowls.

"We need no sustenance but the corprusmeat," Ulen said, "So do not feel obligated to share."

"Nonsense, a guest in the house should be willing to...and besides, I've other food."

She served out the stew to those who sat waiting, then ate from her own bowl with a spoon. The ash ghouls simply tipped their own up and ate that way.

I wonder if this comforts them...if they still remember eating anything before...

It was not a pretty thought, that she might continue doing this, but--even if Voryn did change his mind, these poor things likely wouldn't be able to return to what they were before.

"We thank you, lady Nerevar," one finally spoke once they were all done, "And we are pleased to welcome you into House Dagoth."

"I am not of your house--" Sadara started, but when the moment seemed tense she added, "Yet. But you're all welcome."

"If you intend to see the sunrise," Ulen suddenly said, "And get a good night's rest, I recommend you not linger overlong and proceed to the room we've cleared for you."

"A little longer," she replied, "I've got a lot on my mind, and...plucking at my lute always helps settle my head."

Sadara turned away as several of the ash ghouls tidied away the dishes, and pulled her lute from her bag.

I need to think. If I could have a moment alone that would be better, but...

At least Rather couldn't speak...she assumed he would simply continue to shadow her until she returned to Red Mountain. When she emerged in the morning to watch the sunrise...that would be her best opportunity. As alone as she would get, while she was still within Voryn's circle of influence.

Something slower and quieter. Ah, I know...

She chose The Star-Eyed Bride of Alinor and began to pluck at the strings, the lyrics rolling in the background of her thoughts.

My star-eyed bride of Alinor, lost in storm and spray

Kogoruhn was a palace of death, but they had welcomed her with open arms. Uthol had been more friendly than she'd expected, and Ulen...Ulen had been overjoyed to see her. The ash ghouls...well, they hadn't said much of anything, but they'd been curious enough to take her stew, so she would assume they'd at least not seen her there unhappily.

They were victims as much as any other, though...except Ulen. No, especially Ulen. He'd chosen this, but his grief...

My star-eyed bride of Alinor, that cruel fate took away

A willing soul did not make all this perfectly innocent...grief could make people act dangerously, make them desperate either to forget or to mask over the pain.

Sadara took a deep breath. Voryn wanted to help them, she could see that, and yet he didn't see he was really hurting them. What kind of a life was this, confined to Kogoruhn, never more speaking to anyone who wasn't a member of the family. Not even a chance to do so.

"They deserve better," she murmured under her breath.

White swan feathers fluttered from her ivory bridal gown, and unsung vows slipped from her lips, eager to be found

She could not save them...but if she could just persuade Voryn, perhaps she could stop anyone further from falling into this sort of state. Or like those corprus monsters she'd met on the journey to Kogoruhn.

The next few verses she couldn't seem to quite remember--but the tune stayed the same, so on she went with it. Another thing lost...had he made her lose it? No, no, something in her mind said. He wouldn't do that, he WANTS you to remember all that came before.

Voryn himself, he was in there, inside that one that all of Vvardenfell called a mad god, that one who was spreading the blight across the island. Surely there must be something she could do to save HIM. If Sotha Sil could figure out how to use the Heart of Lorkhan, then SHE could figure out how to free someone from the darker parts of its influence.

"One step at a time," she said, once more under her breath. Soft horns were echoing--

She looked up, to find that Ulen, currently at the end of the room, had been the one making the noise like a soft set of horns.

"By all means, Lady Nerevar," he said, his trunks raised, "Continue."

She looked down at the lute and, shutting her eyes, began again, thoughts staying on Voryn as a verse she did remember rose.

My star-eyed bride of Alinor, whose last words were my name

A moment later she heard Rather from his spot behind her, begin the notes as well (if at a lower pitch) creating a strange trio of sound with her performance and Ulen's.

Then an ash ghoul, its sound a somewhat higher note, and another, somewhat lower. A third, a fourth.

My star-eyed bride of Alinor, I still weep from the shame

Before Morrowind, music was how she made herself seen, and she had never felt so much so as now. To play a song, to have others join along, it was (despite the circumstances) everything she'd dreamed it would be. She lead, they followed, they caught up and every note was harmony.

And then, a thought. A thought that was definitely not her own.

In his flesh and of his flesh.

A slight smug joy not her own, along with the words.

Gares? she thought. Those words, she would not forget those words so easily. It was faint...so very, very faint, on the edge of hearing, just barely audible.

Did I not say you would come to our lord, Nerevar?

Sadara kept playing, feeling a sudden anxiety beneath her skin. The room suddenly felt paradoxically too small and too large, too bare and too crowded. She felt linked to someone, someones. These ash ghouls, Rather, Ulen, most strongly, then somewhere in the mental background was Uthol, and outside Kogoruhn, others. Like the strings of a spider's web moving at the slightest touch she was still, yet was sure she felt--

And here you are.

Yes, she thought, Here I am.

But there was nothing further. She didn't know if the others had heard what she had, or if perhaps she'd simply been hearing things. The ash ghouls did not speak up, and neither did Rather or Ulen. The song finished out, and for a moment there was an almost appreciative silence.

She did not know how she knew that they were glad of the song they'd shared in, as she hadn't looked up to see anyone smiling or anything like that.

What she did know was that she felt their gladness. The echo of the last note passed on, though, and with it came an end to her surety. It was as if a connection established had been suddenly severed.

The ash ghouls got up one by one and left, thanking her or bowing their heads by turns. Eventually, she was left alone with Ulen and Rather.

"I think I will go to sleep now," she said, "That...seems like a good note to go out on."

A sound like whistling flutes, musical laughter. Ulen replied, "In the most literal sense. You truly do belong here, Lady Nerevar."

Sadara gave a weak smile and nodded, then let herself be lead away. The room they'd prepared for her was fairly empty with no windows. There was a bed, only barely qualifying as one with its single blanket and pillow.

Ulen told her that Rather would be standing guard on the other side of the door, and she was finally, finally left alone. She set up her bedroll beneath the blanket, and, shivering just slightly, settled herself into it and sipped quietly from her waterskin.

That connection, whatever it was, had been frightening, and yet at the same time--she had felt the last embers of her fear of loneliness burn out. Was this a small version of what the others with corprus felt? Were they all so connected? Perhaps she had been imagining things, and yet...and yet, she was sure she was right about it.

But it was triggered by music. Specifically, when there was a harmony. Maybe because her case of corprus was stilled, frozen in time, she could not fully feel what they did.

It confused her, as much as Voryn did, but feeling the fatigue of the day's journey she lay back on the bed and shut her eyes.

If it had linked her to the others, she wondered sleepily, then why had she not felt Voryn?

Suppose he is the link? Suppose...

The questions circled puzzlingly in her mind until sleep finally took her.

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When she opened her eyes again she wasn't in that dim little room in Kogoruhn, but a large, airy, brightly lit...palace, she wanted to say.

It was crowded but not overwhelmingly so. Everyone was dressed finely, and everyone was golden-skinned. Yet there seemed to be a rainbow of colors otherwise in their robes and armors and various dressings. Jeweled coronets glittered from some brows, and gold from most necks. She was wearing what she had been when she lay down to sleep--the red robe with the leather belt bearing the symbol of House Dagoth, which in the crowd made her feel severely underdressed.

She distracted herself with how this all felt familiar, overwhelmingly so, and as she made her way through the room she got both nods and bows.

I've been here before, Sadara thought,��I know I have been here before!

A memory, maybe, a memory she'd forgotten. Or perhaps just a dream, her mind trying to make sense of the new memories that were moving through her mind. Perhaps it was just a jumble of things...and yet...

Sadara managed to find her way to one of the walls, where were lined a small row of chairs and--a mirror. With the crowd still talking behind her she looked into it, seeing none of them in it--not even herself.

The face that looked out of the mirror was a golden-skinned Chimer, with white hair that stood up, and eyes so blue--

Nerevar! she realized suddenly, and raised a dusky hand to her face. In the mirror the hand was Nerevar's. So this is what I was before?

It unnerved her, to look into those eyes, despite the reflection being, well, her own. Yet it was not her own, and the stare of those eyes into her own had a strange guilt settling over her. What would he think, she wondered? How would he see what she was doing, or rather, not doing? Eyes this blue were an obvious sign of devotion to Azura...surely, Nerevar would be angry.

And yet...

...even if that is not what Azura wants...

Was Nerevar there somewhere in the back of her mind, doubting his lady's commands just as much as she was? The eyes in the mirror seemed worried...hopeful, in some minute way, but they were full of concern for certain.

Sadara turned away from the mirror suddenly, not wanting to look at those eyes any longer. She looked about the crowd, seeking any particularly familiar face. Seht, Vehk, even Ayem she'd have taken, some certainty in a place where everything was familiar but vague at the same time.

Like a painting of a place she knew she'd been, with definite details impossible to note. Faces were clear but no details jumped out to scream that this person was so-and-so, or that person was--

The crowd parted before her to let her pass, and the music coming from some nebulous, unclear point in the room rose into a gentle symphony of strings and flutes.

The ink-dark hair, the stiff posture...

He turned.

The golden mask.

The red and black robes and the golden pauldrons she didn't recognize, and yet again there was that feeling of deja vu. She did not remember him wearing this, and yet in her mind there was an echo of the memory, saying that yes, he HAD worn this. She had seen him here once before. Long, long ago...only without the mask.

"This," Voryn said, in a voice softer than any she had yet heard him use, "This is the last time before it all went so wrong."

Am I dreaming?

"Of course you are," the smile was evident in his voice, even if unreadable on that impassive gold, "Did you think I would neglect you?"

"I...I thought you would be busy." Sadara gave a brief smile, and then turned to look over the gathered crowd. "I remember all this, and yet I don't...I know I was here, but...everything...is hazy. Like an echo of a memory."

"Your lady would have you believe you do not need such memories," Voryn replied, "But to have Nerevar reborn without Nerevar himself...for a tool of the daedric princes, it would suit. You...you were made to do her bidding, and for no other reason. What pain he must go through, to see and to lose so many times."

Sadara was unsure how to respond, so she nodded to let him see she was paying attention, and to tell him to continue.

"This time....this time will be different, I swear it. I will see that the Tribunal do not get the chance to pour their lies in your ear; that Ayem does not poison you, that Vehk does not stab you. We shall rise over the Tribunal like a wave and drown them. We shall choke them with their own hubris, and then--show them the might and majesty of a true god."

He took her left hand and held it between both of his own.

"Do not fear to speak. Azura cannot touch you here."

"I know, but...I believe Seht could tell you that the daedric princes could lay waste to one's home and hearth easily."

"Seht had his vengeance," Voryn brushed it off, "And should the Lady of Dawn and Dusk think to harm you, I shall have mine."

He lay a hand on her face, turned it so her gaze crossed his own.

Once more, the flutter in her chest.

"What you see here will be again, once I have Wraithguard."

"'When the land is swept clean of false friends and greedy thieves, the children of Veloth will build anew a garden of plenty in this blighted wasteland,'" Sadara quoted.

"And you," he said, leaning in, "What do you hope to gain from all this?"

"Only security," she replied, heart beating rapidly in her chest as she spoke, "Give me that, and--"

Voryn silenced her with a kiss, and the noise of the crowd faded in her ears.

[gayregis]

im at that stage of fatigue from the day where i’m so tired the fanfiction is writing itself in my mind theough dialogue but i’m too insanely tired to sit down and write it all out and i work a shift in the morning too so i dont even have time ... so ill forget everything come morning

[[MORE]]

psych, ima try to outline it rn

this is after a little sacrifice and also after season of storms and takes place in cidaris (im not clear on if kerack is the capital so season of storms dealt with the proper king of cidaris or if it was just a local kingship but im hcing that cidaris is also a capital city as well as the region/nation).

this is geralt and dandelion going to the grape festival mentioned in a little sacrifice btw

main goal for this is to basically give dandelion more depth and address his identity issues and backstory and just how his character is in general

valdo marx (as far as i am headcanoning in terms of appearance right now) is of course , also a twink and they have similar builds but valdo isnt as skinny as dandelion because he has access to three full meals every day. he has dark brown hair and green eyes, and i might give him the same hair and beard as dandelion from tw3 just to spite cdpr. he used to sport green/purple doublets as an independent artist, but now as the reaident troubadour of cidaris, he’s adopted their emblatic colors (blue and white) and wears a doublet with a sash of these colors. he doesn’t have poofy sleeves, instead he has these ruffs and like... bellbottom sleeves. also this method of embellishing clothes that i learned from a glamour video (it’s @ 4:30ish) called slashing is applicable to his outfits. i think he veers away from tights unlike dandelion, so he wears more breeches than anything. he doesn’t have detailed embroidery like dandelion, but rather patterned/quilted areas with silver and some small pearls added for decoration in these sections as well.

so geralt and valdo have to be placed together somehow in a conversation. basically he wants to #expose dandelion for being a fraud... but he’s not doing it out of Pure Evil, he’s (vaguely) kind of like the lodge of sorceresses in which it’s like, he is only wanting things to be done his way because really he thinks it’s the best way to do things. he’s really a victim of academia, he would be someone that supports the fact that instruments are like $1,000 each.

basically he and dandelion were classmates at oxenfurt and at first hit it off very well and shared notes and thoughts and sexual partners and all was splendid. but they got competitive and valdo HATES that dandelion does NOT come from a family known for music or any kind of art. basically dandelion is a novus homo, but in the world of music, and valdo comes from an established family which has been musically inclined for generations. he feels that ppl like dandelion just wanna go to oxenfurt for shits and giggles and dont take this opportunity seriously because theyre too blinded by their own arrogance to actually learn anything. and he may be right in regards to a lot of other children of wealthy noble families that attend oxenfurt. but dandelion’s case was different and this he does not like to admit. also he hates how dandelion is... inclined to... a life of debauchery... because he feels he perpetuates stereotypes of artists being good for nothing penniless drunkards and lechers, and makes it harder for Real Professionals from Actual Lineage to get a job. also he has a disdain for how dandelion really wanted to travel and admired the “musicians of the world” that never attended some fancy college, and again valdo sees this as him not appreciating the opportunity he was given, because all you ever need to interact with is this little 1 mile by 1 mile square of oxenfurt, and not even the whole city, just the college. also when valdo tells all this to geralt he goes give him a judgemental up and down look like... ��julian loves meeting, writing about, and... ahem... fraternizing with... all kinds of ... people.” (he was gonna say “trash,” but geralt has swords and cats eyes, so valdo swallowed that last word). ALSO ALSO valdo thinks dandelion is further destroying the sanctity of academic places like oxenfurt by training good for nothings from other nobody families, like essi daven, who was actually from a noble family but one not too rich because it was kind of distant from the ruling family. and since she threw a fit they let her do her own thing instead of marrying her off.

also valdo is like “julian— ahem, ... ‘dandelion,’ as you know him... i don’t know why he uses that absurd little nickname,” because he just finds the idea of a pseudonym stupid (since hes from a famous musical family of course he wants to highlight his lineage). and again he dislikes how dandelion is Corrupting Others by not only mentoring essi at oxenfurt, but training her in an “unorthodox fashion,” ie they just duet and talk shit about random stuff and he advises her weird things like “get a cool fake name so all the girls have something to scream as you go on stage”

as they interact with each other, valdo and dandelion actually are kind of opposite of dandelion and essi. they dont throw ANY snide remarks and keep it all under wraps with just pleased smiles and then as soon as theyre out of earshot (a long way for bards) theyre like “i am going to take the replacement strings of my lute and choke the lights out of that tone-deaf idiot” ... geralt is like 😳 to see aggression in dandelion and hes a bit intimidated at first but then is like Bro Are you Fucking Okay ????? Because its so unnatural for dandelion to be Actually Upset about something and not be ok within half a day

scene where dandelion is staring at the mirror and geralt is like you have been staring at the mirror for a long time, even by your standards... dandelion is like “i have to change something... geralt, look at me. look at me. (says it again bc geralt didnt look up the first time). if you could change one thing about my face, what would it be?” and geralts obviously like “nothing.” and dandelions like dont be fucking difficult just tell me i need to know i need your opinion and geralt is like that IS my opinion i sincerely like your face the way it is. something something blah blah blah tenderness geralt says smth like dandelion you have a lot of loyal fans okay...... and hes trying to refer to himself but he doesnt wanna say it aloud

i think something about dandelion talking about who he was (basically referring to “julian” in the 3rd person) and just very uncharacteristically self-loathing but them he pops back into his little arrogant self ... basically he covers that everyone Fucking Laughed at him for wanting to sing but he did it and now he’s the best and also, sexy. in this whole scene (same scene as last bullet point) he is also saying that he needs to “prove himself” and geralt is just like What More Can You Do, You Are Literally Famous... but dandelion is just pensive about it

also he says something like “theres two versions of me... julian with a dream who nobody knows, and dandelion who’s famous and loved.” and geralts like “theres three.” “three?” “there’s also dandelion, the one i know, who, it doesn’t matter if he’s famous or what, because i just like him and enjoy his company.” BECAUSE i dont know how not to be blunt and not hit my readers over the head with what i wanted to get across. geralt is a blunt man however so i think its acceptable to do this

basically this fic is “dandelion can have little a OOCness for character development”

tbh its not too ooc (hopefully) bc hes not like downright depressed, hes just pensive, like he is when hes trying to think of a good title or rhymes and nothing is working. nothing is working! hes frustrated!!!

i have nooooo idea how to resolve this conflict ive introduced. i think valdo and dandelion have to sing a duet together and it is like skating on thin ice with sharks underneath . MAYBE valdo gets possessed by,, something? not a demon bc IVE HAD ENOUGH GOETIA AFTER SEASON OF STORMS but you know An Entity, and dandelion is like wow this is an improvement!! and geralts like no it isnt, now i have to exorcise this fucker

also throughout this i think that the king and queen of cidaris (maintaining that kerack isnt the capital and is just another kingship within the nation) looooveveeveveeee dandelion and his presence and are like oh dandelion you are always welcome in our court :) which also totally pisses valdo off because its like dandelion came into his work/home and fucked both of his bosses and is trying to steal their loyalty through Sexual Appeal. which. may ring true. but dandelion does stuff for fun and not for manipulation soooo valdo is a little wrong in thinking dandelion is manipulating them. and this also adds to valdos resentment of dandelion for being so promiscuous and also writing about his love affairs bc he feels it detracts from The Art...

basically this fic is also me telling academia and ppl who feel art should be limited to a certain crowd to go stuff it cause no one cares and creativity and learning is only human of anyone. also an excuse to give dandelion character depth and also an excuse to break how geralt is always the gloomy one and dandelion has to cheer him up, i think though they do have their strong personalities, relationships should ideally go both ways in terms of emotional support so it shows geralt has the capacity to support a dandelion with festering anger and personal identity problems. also a way for geralt to learn a little abt dandelions backstory without learning/spoiling the fact that hes a v*scount and actually noble and wealthy (they just refer to his family as being wealthy enough to pay for oxenfurt which is significant but not astounding)