#also Sirius's rambling queer hypothesis about people of the past is literally what I ramble about to my friends

[bimoonphases]

@wolfstarmicrofic September 13 - prompt 13: Basilisk [word count 397]

“I don’t know, I’m sure it must have been something fundamentally important about their morals,” Remus said, threading a hand through Sirius’s hair.

“Well, it might have been, but we only think about them as those mythical figures and never about the fact they were human beings as well,” Sirius started from where he was comfortably lying on Remus’s chest.

“What do you mean?”

“Professor Binns said no one knows the real motivations behind the Founders’ falling out,” Sirius went on. “No one left any kind of record of the time, we just know that they disagreed on what students to bring into their school and even that’s been passed on through the centuries and might not be accurate. Maybe they argued about something else?”

“Like?” Remus asked, sensing his boyfriend was about to embark on one of his long rambling fantasies he loved to listen to.

“Hear me out,” Sirius turned his head to look up at him. “What if we missed something really important? What if old Godric and Salazar were lovers?”

“Interesting. Go on.”

“Being the most powerful of their time they decide to found a school for magic along with their best friends, Rowena and Helga. Kind of like if me and you founded something with Lily and Mary for instance.”

“Alright. So you’re saying Slytherin left Hogwarts because he had a fight with his boyfriend?”

“Well, my darling mother always used to boast the Black family is a direct descendant of his, and we’re nothing other than petty so yes, I can see him storming out because of a fight and never coming back.”

“Now that you say it…” Remus chuckled, and Sirius lightly punched him on the arm. “But what about that legendary Chamber of Secrets Binns was talking about?”

“It was the Middle Ages, Moony,” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Wouldn’t you want a secret chamber to be able to do whatever you want with your lover in peace?”

“Sirius Orion Black,” Remus raised an eyebrow. “Are you implying the Chamber of Secrets, Hogwarts’ most obscure lore is actually Slytherin and Gryffindor’s sex dungeon?”

“You have no proof it wasn’t, Moony.”

“Fine then. But what about the Basilisk Slytherin is said to have left to guard the Chamber when he left?”

“Well, if you ever left me you bet I’d place a fucking Basilisk in your house.”

“Duly noted, my love.”