#also OBVIOUSLY shawn and gus get into trouble TOGETHER

[philtstone]

so heres what i need the psych crew to do.

they eventually make psych 4. im not picky about when, so long as they give shawn and jules their baby (not strictly necessary from an objective standpoint but critical to this bit). THEN. an unspecified number of years into the future, psych 5 is announced. it will be streaming exclusively on walrus (all the sitcoms are now owned by walrus). fans wait with bated breath for the films release. the day has finally come. it’s out. you the average viewer presses play. fifteen minutes into the movie it suddenly dawns on you. its plot is almost to a T a perfect rip off of disneys “the incredibles”. except they’ve altered just enough key details throughout that they can claim parody and thus get away with perfectly to a T ripping off the plot of disneys “the incredibles”. no one comments on this in cast interviews. press is entirely dedicated to dodging the issue but in so obvious and hamfisted a way that it can surely -- surely! -- be nothing but an extended bit. declan rand is the syndrome analogue. and right at the end of the movie there is a cameo from samuel l jackson

[pinazee]

Talk Derby to Me

Alright, another Juliet ep, and it’s… fine. It has some good moments. Im trying really hard not to be nitpicky but its only because it had so much potential to be one of their best eps, but instead, it falls a little…flat. BUT this is a great opportunity to finally talk about juliet! So ill do it in two parts: the first, discussing juliet in the ep, and the second, who she is in the show.

So, to be completely honest, part of the reason this episode is kind of meh for me, is that the acting from our supporting players and even a bit from maggie, kind of takes me out of it. The one time i believed juliet was a badass though, was when she was protected shawn, but at that point shes not trying to be a roller derby girl. Shes just being her badass cop self. I think her undercover work gets better as the show progresses so this isn’t necessarily a criticism, but more of an acknowledgment of where she started at.

Juliet is adorable in this ep, though. Plus i like that her and shawn both got to give the chief the wrap-up in the end.

I wish juliet would have gotten an aha! moment and more participation in the solve. Like, sure, have shawn put it together in the end, he is our main character, but i think she could have gotten part of it at least, in her own way. For instance, she could have seen the green lubricant too and put it together that it was wilde, then gave that clue to shawn. Yes, she did find the scanners, but then immediately asks shawn about them instead of taking a second to work it out herself. I think this would’ve helped make them feel like more of a team, since it was mentioned explicitly by the chief. I think this is why it feels too much like a girl power ep and not a roller derby ep for me. That could also be a product of the format though, since the shows focus is shawn (and gus) after all. Plus, again, i think they get better at this (theres a moment coming up this season that ill mention specifically)

I think they could have developed the tension a bit more between juliet and shawn too, since her being “bossy” was part of the drama of the ep. Though, i dont understand why shawn didn’t tell her from the beginning it was a music video and was instead telling her to trust him blindly. I think instead, they should have gone one of two ways with this:

1. shawn tells her its a music video, but juliet cant, as a cop, ignore a lead simply because he “divined” it, then when she gets in trouble we could see shawn feeling guilty that he couldn’t prove it to her without casting doubt on his ability and thats why he takes the blame.

2. they could’ve had shawn try more tactics at distracting her with romance, and have her tell him essentially that now was not the time and ask for more support from him in solving the case instead of trying to woo her. Which again, would provide a reason for him to take the fall for the music video debacle.

Also its chivalrous, i guess, for shawn to take the blame but it kind of goes against juliets character not to be honest. I wish they wouldve let her come clean. That being said, it was funny to watch juliet in the background staring at shawns feet and then snickering at lassies expense.

Now, overall, i love juliet as a character! I love that they didn’t try to make her this like super badass and unrealistic woman. Juliet is flawed, and fun, and naive, and tough, and competitive, and feminine, and proud, and sweet. Actually, my favorite thing about her is just how sweet she is because of how that contrasts with her job. She is a full person and not just a love interest or plot foil to shawn. She would still be an important character to the show even if shawn wasn’t in love with her. Plus, how they portray juliet gets better and better as the seasons progress- or at least thats my memory of it, so im curious if thats still the case years later.

Obviously im going to talk about this moment:

I hated it.

Just kidding. It’s cute ☺️ but imo, not entirely earned in the episode, though certainly more earned than their almost kiss in bounty hunters. Personally, i would have preferred this moment to be more of a friends vibe, and have them like laughing together over him falling on his ass or something- but im a sucker for the friends to lovers trope so thats my own bias haha

I randomly heard one of the background ladies roller derby name was Miss-anthropy and its arguably the best one there and its not even a main character.

Lastly, the fact that shawn could take Gus’s test for him and pass, is honestly incredibly impressive and its so funny to me that its played for laughs. Like gus didn’t go how the hell did you pass that test without studying? But is straight up pissed because he had him fret over it all week for no reason. This goes to show though (because i doubt he opened a book) that Shawns been paying attention to gus’ little explanations and studies :)

Heres a random thought, do you think Gus was ever jealous that Shawn could remember stuff so easily? Like, as they were growing up, and gus is fretting over his studies for hours, only to find that his best friend didn’t have to study at all and simply remembered everything the teacher said but didn’t care enough to try- like personally i would be pissed lol. Gus is smart in his own right, but its not without hard work.

P.S

This moment is always a highlight for some reason haha idk why exactly, its barely a joke

[the-badger-mole]

I have been mulling over a Psych!AU for ATLA. I think it would be hilarious. I will probably not get around to writing it, but here's what I was thinking.

Katara in the Shawn Spencer role. She honed her skills with Pakku, her surly, not always supportive grandfather who came to live with her family when she was very young after her mother died. He saw her knack for puzzle solving and her preternaturally sharp memory. Katara has a strained relationship with him because of his deep rooted misogyny and his insistence that despite being a woman, Katara should follow his footsteps into law enforcement. It...is a weird dichotomy, and at the start of the story, it has been years since they spoke.

Sokka is her Gus. He's a tightly wound, neurotic overachiever who feels disappointed because after years of being the gifted kid, he ends up working as a pharma rep. He wanted to be an engineer or a bio-chemist, but it didn't work out (I haven't decided why just yet). He still pursues those interests in his own time, which makes him a valuable, if reluctant participant in his sister's schemes. He initially goes along with his sister's foray into psychic detecting in order to protect her, but eventually he gets just as into it as she is. Especially after he meets Suki.

Suki is our Juliette. She's a sharp junior detective who assists the sibling detective duo from time to time. She believes Katara's psychic abilities after a few times witnessing her solving cases. Well, she mostly believes it. She can't completely wrap her mind around it, but she also can't think of a rational, natural explanation for how Katara seems to know what she knows. As time goes on, she develops feelings for Sokka, the sarcastic, logical, goofy half of the detective duo. She often acts as a buffer between the siblings and her partner,

Zuko is the Carlton Lassiter of the story. He does not believe Katara's claims of psychic abilities, but like Suki, he hasn't come up with a rational explanation. Yet. Still, she gets results, he can't deny. Their relationship is rocky at first. Zuko was the best detective in the police department, until Katara started showing him up. He is a stickler for rules and procedure, and he hates how Katara and her brother just do whatever cockamamie thing pops into their head, and it works out. As they work together more, he feels like he's on the cusp of figuring her out, but he just finds himself more and more impressed with her. Eventually, they become friends, and after that, something else blossoms between them.

Toph is this story's Woody. She's a slightly unhinged ME with an attitude problem. She is probably not completely blind, but she's severely visually impaired, which makes people doubt her abilities. At first. But then they realize why she is the ME for the most prestigious police department in the area. She likes the way Katara and Sokka have shaken up the department, so she doesn't mind helping them out every so often. She knows exactly how Katara manages to solve these crimes, but she will take that secret to the grave, because she thinks it's hilarious.

Aang is McNabb, and if you've seen the show, you know I'm right.

Iroh is the chief Vic. He runs the department with efficiently and is the one who impressed the importance of the rules in his nephew, Detective Zuko. Unfortunately, he never could get the boy to be more open minded. Iroh has no trouble employing the services of a psychic detective, as long as she gets the job done. He also finds it amusing to watch his nephew trying very hard not to be in love with her.

Obviously, Pakku is the Henry. Hakoda is Hakoda. He's a good dad, but he left a lot of the work of raising his kids to his mother-in-law, Kanna and Pakku, her husband, while he worked to keep the entire household financially afloat. Now that his kids are grown and out of the house, and he works less, he is trying to keep them all connected. He's very proud of his kids, though he doesn't completely understand what exactly it is they're doing. Either that, or he occasionally fills the Gus role along with or instead of Sokka.

[loving-jack-kelly]

Psych AU

Jack

Is Shawn, obviously

Cop dad, troublemaker because he liked disrupting his dad’s authority, actually very smart but does his absolute best to avoid people knowing it

His dad figured out he had a photographic memory when they were like, watching a movie, and Jack called out a mistake that nobody believed was real until he rewound and showed them, and then trained him to be super observant

His dad really wanted him to be a cop and Jack refused out of principle

Never held a job for long because as soon as something else caught his eye he’d go for it

Usually squeaked by on stretching pay from a job for forever, living in a tiny apartment, and doing art commissions when he could get them

Is really good at reading people from what his dad taught him

A Chaotic Good in its purest form, he’s always trying to help people but gets in his own way with his antics

Davey

Is Gus

Jack’s best friend while they were growing up

Was very respectful of authority and balanced Jack out, until Jack got him in on his schemes and then they were the terror of every adult in town

Pharmaceutical salesman, knows so many medicines off the top of his head

Drive a Blueberry and Jack makes fun of it but actually loves the car

Lawful Good, always obey the rules unless Jack makes him do otherwise, has a hard time lying

Spot

Lassiter, obviously he’s Lassie guys

Head detective, very put together and capable

Solves cases all the time and hates that Jack also solves cases all the time

Acts high and mighty but really does care about everyone

Crutchie

Juliet, Crutchie is Jules

Shows up and Jack is instantly like oh boy that crush hit me over the head with the velocity of a 747

He’s a transfer detective who’s worked his whole life to get where he is despite being an amputee and having a prosthetic

Jack acts like his crush is a joke but means it 100%

Crutchie is very capable and kicks ass and hates being underestimated because it’s almost kept him from achieving his dream before

When he was first trying to get to be a police officer he almost wasn’t allowed into police academy because they thought his prosthetic was a hazard and it took him his entire time to convince them otherwise

Now he won’t let anything get in the way of his being the best detective he can be

At first Jack bothers him because he had to work so hard to get where he is and Jack just shows up and starts solving crimes without seemingly a second thought, but Jack grows on him

Katherine

Chief Vick

Is technically the interim chief but she’ll death glare anyone who calls her that because she deserves to be full chief and everyone knows it

Very skeptical of Jack and thus Davey but they are efficient and so she lets them keep working

Jack likes calling in tips to the police when he solves a case on his own because he thinks it’s funny that he can solve crimes from his couch that the police can’t

Eventually he calls one in and they call him in, he assumes it’s for like, reward money, but actually they suspect him in the case because he was right but it sounded like insider knowledge

He doesn’t want to admit he figured it out because of his observance and memory, but they’re going to arrest him, and he noticed the front desk cop was superstitious and so on a whim claims to be a psychic

Spot, the would-be arresting officer, is like, no way, that’s fake, psychics don’t exist

But Jack uses the things he noticed while waiting to be seen to “prove” that he’s psychic and everyone kind of starts to believe him because how else did he know so much about people he’d never met before?

But then Katherine hires him as a consultant for a case that they can’t solve because she figures he can’t do much harm when they’re about to lose the case to higher ups anyway

So Jack shows up to Davey’s job and is like, dude, I have a job and you have a job with me, let’s go

To which Davey responds, no way am I doing anything with you, your last five job attempts have been disasters

But Jack convinces him eventually and soon they have an office and a private investigative business

Davey constantly threatens to tell everyone that Jack isn’t a psychic but he never would because Jack really is solving crimes and they’re best friends

Jack flirts. With literally anyone. Even when it’s entirely inappropriate. Davey does his best to keep him in check. It doesn’t really work

Jack his sister just died don’t flirt with him

Jack her best friend is missing

Jack he’s the bad guy

Jack she is literally trying to murder us stop complimenting her form

Jack he

Jack she

Jack

He’s so ridiculously bi people genuinely think he’s joking like they think he’s straight making gay jokes because of the sheer number of times he flirts with guys and girls all the time

He does his best to seem as immature as possible, but he has a pretty high emotional intelligence

For a while, Crutchie is dating a guy who’s similar to Jack, which makes Jack sad because he wants to be dating Crutchie but Crutchie has never seemed interested

Eventually Crutchie overhears Jack talking to Davey about him and Jack says that he’s willing to just be friends if that means Crutchie is happy, only he wants to be happy too, and he can’t imagine being happy without Crutchie because he’s pretty much fallen in love with him over the years they’ve gotten to work together

And then Crutchie eventually gets together with Jack, after he gets out of his other relationship

Dating Jack is essentially dating both Jack and Davey because they’re always together

It also ends up being much like babysitting sometimes, because Jack gets into all sorts of trouble and Davey only does so much to stop him before joining in

Also when Jack proposes his speech (taken directly from Shawn’s proposal bc tbh it was an incredible proposal) goes like this:

Charlie Morris, I do not believe in love at first sight, because I didn’t even need to see you to know I wanted to spend forever with you. That didn’t make any sense. Scratch that. I have spent my whole life running from one thing to another, quitting and running and quitting and running and pretending that my destiny was to drive a wienermobile.

Davey: He was young and afraid of commitment.

That’s true. But I’m not that young anymore. And I’m also not afraid. Because when I’m with you, Char, I’m just fearless and unbreakable.

Davey: Like Samuel L. Jackson.

Jack: No, Samuel L. Jackson was the glass man.

Davey: Not emotionally, Jack, not emotionally.

Jack: Okay, dude, well dial it back just a teeny bit.

Davey: *choked up* Okay.

I know that I come with baggage, and a best friend who’s not going anywhere. Ever. But I promise you that from this moment forward the only running I will be doing is into your arms, and I will never stop holding your cold little hands or losing myself when I wake up in the morning and look at you and recognize how frickin’ lucky I am.

Davey: *in the background* Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, it’s happening, say yes, say yes!

Crutchie: Yes, yes!

Jack: Okay, well technically, you just said yes to Davey.

Crutchie: Well ask me, Jack!

Crutchie, will you marry us? Me? Mostly me? Even though Davey is always gonna be part of the deal and one day he’ll have his own Crutchie and we’ll be one big family and we’ll have dogs, all rescues, and kids, probable before we’re sixty. Just marry me so I can show you how amazing our life will be together?

Davey was crying by the end of it and Crutchie said yes, obviously, please do yourself a favor and watch the scene from the real show it’s cinematic genius.

Spot meets Race and for pretty much the only time in his life opens up easily and right away

And then it turns out Race is the criminal in the case they’re working on and Spot has to arrest him but he promises to wait until Race is out of prison and they end up together anyway

Now for the true reason this au works: the quotes. The dialogue. All of these are direct quotes from the show.

Davey: You named your fake detective agency "Psych"? As in "got you"? Why didn't you just call it "Hey, we're fooling you and the police department; hope we don't make a mistake and somebody dies because of it."

Jack: First of all, Davey, that name is entirely too long; it would never fit on the window. And secondly, the best way you convince people you're not lying to them is to tell them you are!

Davey: How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?

Jack: What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share?

Jack: Good morning, detectives! Are we collecting donations for the policeman's ball?

Spot: We don't have balls.

Jack: I honestly have no response to that.

Crutchie: You're not hired. I can't pay you. If it turns out there's something to it, I'll make sure you get put on the case. That's all I can do.

Jack: Crutchie, I'm quite sure we could work out some kind of services exchange. You see I like to do some sketching myself and sometimes I need a model.

Crutchie: Huh! [gets up and walks from the room]

Jack: Was that inappropriate? ...Felt OK.

Jack: Don't panic. Those bites are consistent with a T-Rex bite.

Davey: You know that?

Jack: Yes, I know that. [shows picture of himself in the mouth of a T-Rex skeleton] I was banned from the Wyoming National Museum for that shot. The bruises didn't go away for a year, but it was totally worth it. It was my best screensaver ever!

Crutchie: Jack, how do you know this?

Jack: The same way that I know that as a child Spot wanted nothing more than a pony.

[They all look at Spot]

Spot: Oh, come on. Who didn't?

Davey: Anyone who wasn't an 8 year-old girl.

Spot: I hate snow globes.

Jack: Huh. That's strange, because my psychic sense told me specifically that snow globes didn't give you nightmares of being trapped in a clear ball with snow that burned your skin off.

Spot: Who keeps telling people I like snow globes?!

Jack: I don't think anyone's here.

Davey: How sure are you?

Jack: Fairly to pretty damn.

Jack: Davey, don't be a myopic chihuahua. I have a full-proof plan that solves the case and gives the Chief all the credit.

Davey: What is it?

Jack: Actually, all I have is the phrase "I have a full-proof plan." Beyond that, I'm wide open.

And so many more these are all from like the first three seasons of eight the whole show is like this it’s incredible and I love it