#also Jensen in that maroon suit...

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

This is a Radio Company stan account now. That is all.

[smol-and-grumpy]

Hello, love! Spoiler warning for big sky’s new episode!! I just finished the new episode and can I just say maroon really is Beau’s color, his sweater last episode, his shirt this episode, and Pedro the Jeep?! Also can we talk about that suit and hat combo? He looked absolutely amazing!

Things are really starting to get good (although it already has been) at the camp and I don’t know who can be trusted. Especially with Cormac, it’s like one second he seems okay and the next he’s questionable. Not to mention Avery seems suspiciously on edge.

Also, the connections being made like Jenny’s mom knowing Tonya, it’s going to be interesting to see what they do with that. There’s a lot going on so far and I feel like it’s been really well done so far.

And one last time I just have to mention, Beau Arlen is the most handsome cowboy I’ve ever seen💕

When I’m telling you that the show is full of surprises, nobody who isn’t watching is believing me.

It’s honestly so so good with all the twists. I DID NOT SEE IT COMING (what she said). Now I am intrigued to know what they are plotting.

Also I just know that Beau will fucking murder Avery. And I wonder who’s the next to die. Probably Sunny. But again, who knows anymore with this show.

Yes, we can talk about Jensen in Burgundy. That color suits him really well and it leaves me wanting to see him more in his sheriff vest. 🤤

[jensensitive]

jensen's outfit at the TCAs was so campy and gay, i love it!!!!!! i'm so happy he's getting bolder and i wonder how far he'll take it. would love to know your thoughts about jensen + queerness in fashion

It was! and I'm in so much agreement

(you deserve a good reply to this ask, because it's such a good ask, but I also want to actually answer it at some point, and thus far I've mostly just been wading around self indulgently in my Jensen/clothes tags and thinking a lot about gay/bi!Jensen headcanons and stuff. Honestly this ask sent me on a goddamn jOUrney, that I will perhaps never recover from agdsggsgh. But basically, my thoughts are yes!)

Yes, our dude is not straight. Yes, he adores clothes and fashion in a way that-- honestly, I don't know very many men, but have only personally seen similar (though definitely lower key) feelings about fashion from gay men in my own life. (I realise that straight men can also love fashion ofc. Alex for instance seems to and I think he's straight, but you combine Jensen's fashionista tendencies with lots of other things, even just the vibes, and it's hard not to think he might gay or bi). He also just looks very good and knows it and is owning it.

Remember when bob singer brought up at comic con last year just how particular, basically just how much of a diva he was about Michael's wardrobe, and how that happens all the time. And Misha says how Jensen somehow loves dressing up even more than dean. And basically they were putting him on blast on stage, and he ofc couldn't even defend himself cause it was all true.

The fact that he tried to play it off as just having made a little suggestion to wardrobe, and then his boss was essentially like ~"now wait a second! no, you're a diva about your clothes, and you make us have your pants custom made because you're that much of a fussy snob about it, and we love you but, the people need to know the Truth."~ I think all of it says a lot about his relationship with his love of fashion, that he is embarrassed of it at least a little but that he also finds power through it too, that he just plain enjoys it.

He's so particular about clothes. He's so interested in clothes. He loves putting an effort in and working to impress and just look better than everyone else lbr. I love it, but I think what I love most about it lately is how shamelessly he's been going for it, wearing bold choices and just owning them not giving a shit what anyone says about them.

I was looking back through old events, and there was a time when he usually just wore a boring black button up or like a basic suit to events. And then a few years ago he went and wore that maroon suit to the pcas, and everyone went wild for it, cause ofc he looked good, and gradually since then, he's been just letting himself have fun with it. It's funny to even think now that that was so out there for him at the time, but it was.

Now I'm not sure if or when he uses a stylist. He certainly looks good enough sometimes that I wouldn't be surprised, I mean the blue plaid suit?? Shots fired babey, that was truly a look. But from the way Bob singer talks about Jensen dictating dean's wardrobe down to the smallest detail in some instances (at least when flannel isn't involved), it's definitely more than possible that these are all Jensen's doing.

I love it, truly, that he's gradually growing so much more comfortable with himself and that we've been able to witness it. I do think it's a reflection of his state of mind about his own queerness honestly, his being bolder in his fashion and absolutely feeling himself when he's wearing something he enjoys, I think that does probably mirror a self acceptance of other parts of himself that people have made fun of him for before. And probably deepens his self acceptance too, when his outside reflects who is more and he goes out and owns it.

The man just doesn't seem to give as many shits anymore, it seems, at least not as much as he did ten years ago.

I wish I knew more about fashion or queer men's fashion in particular, so this could be more insightful, but idk i feel like it's pretty obvious to most that that jacket was camp and that his love of soft sweaters and florals and bandanas and ridiculous hats and his love of peacoats and scarves years ago were all also kinda gay. And matching his boyfriend on the red carpet is kinda gay. And buying his boyfriend a shirt the color of his eyes and asking him to wear it on stage is kinda gay.

It's all kind of just a big blob of gay and Jensen feelings and gay/bi Jensen feelings and cockles feelings. Idk if any of this was insightful or even coherent lol. But man I'm with you in being excited about seeing what's next from our fashionista boy

[dancingalone21]

That’s My Girl

Summary: Jensen breaks your plans for the evening but the sly bastard makes it up to you.

Prompt: “That’s not a good enough reason to get married.”

Characters: moviestar!Jensen x Reader

Requested: @arryn-nyx

~

"I can't believe you're bailing on me!"

"I promise I'll make it up to you, Y/N!" Of course Jensen subjects you to his dazzling signature smile, the one that reminds you of kittens and rainbows and all of that corny shit.

He drags you in for an insanely tight hug as if that will make your moodiness disappear. Well, the joke's on you because it's starting to work. Damn his perfect physique. How are you supposed to stay pissed when an attractive man who smells delicious is touching you? 

You gather up enough super strength to shake those distracting thoughts away. There's no way in hell that you're letting him off the hook this time. Nice try, buddy.

But Jensen's only wearing a thin, white t-shirt, allowing you to feel every one of his god damn muscles. Fuck. The man knows what he's doing, his hotness has gotten him out of more than you'd like to admit. To be fair, it definitely works both ways. All you have to do is bite your bottom lip and he's fucking putty in your hands. Silly boy.

"Whatever, Ackles." You abruptly abandon the embrace, ignoring the pitiful pout on your best friend's full lips.

Tonight's festivities have annoyingly been put on hold, the plans you've both had for weeks are now fucking ruined. It was supposed to be just you and Jensen for the entire evening. No work, no bullshit, no drama. Nothing but a bottle of Jack, delicious homemade nachos and a long list of cheesy Matthew McConaughey rom coms. Sigh.

"My publicist wrangled me an invite last minute to the CMT Music Awards. So I need to make an appearance on the red carpet for a shit ton of interviews. You know my new movie is coming out soon, sweetheart. It's free publicity."

"But it's a country music awards show." You scrunch up your face adorably, automatically stealing Jensen's current thought. Lately that's all it takes for him to be completely enamored by you.  

"Country music fans watch movies ya know. Especially ones with yours truly." Jensen cackles hoping you'll join in on his goofiness. You don't.

"It's your job. I get it." You sigh deeply, navigating your way down the staircase to where the home bar is located on the first floor. It's frustrating times like this, when you're grateful to have a plethora of alcohol at your disposal.

"I know the whole red carpet thing makes you nervous, otherwise I'd take you with me." Jensen stresses, refusing to just leave you be.

"Dude. Get out of my ass." You spin around, practically colliding into the green eyed man behind you.

"I don't want you to be mad at me, Y/N."

"Normally I wouldn't care but your schedule lately has been busy as fuck. We have to make plans to stay in and watch a movie for christ's sake."

"Trust me, I know. I don't like it anymore than you do. On the bright side, the movie's coming out in a couple of weeks so I'll soon have time off."

"I know, Jay." You defeatedly pour yourself a large drink, responding coldly to the wounded animal expression on his face.

"I ordered pizza. We can at least have dinner together!" Jensen shoots you a playful grin making you momentarily forget that you're aggravated. Again.

The doorbell suddenly chimes, snapping you out of the mesmerizing trance known as the Ackles charm. Saved by the fucking bell.

You weave around your intoxicating roommate, rolling your eyes at the noise of his boots hot on your trail. If you're gonna end up with a stalker, you suppose having a handsome one like Jensen is the way to go.

Expecting to see a pimple-faced delivery boy at the door, you quirk an brow as your eyes take in the sight before you. Jared Padalecki's here and he's holding a mother fucking pizza.

"What's up, kiddo!" Jared quickly pecks your cheek, barely slowing down as he strolls right on into the house. It's safe to say there's a huge scowl gracing your features as you stomp over to Jensen.

"Why is Jared here?" You whisper, grabbing a hold of his firm bicep.

"I invited him over for pizza. Is that bad?" Jensen cocks his head like a perplexed German Shepherd.

"I literally can't with you right now." You blow past him into the kitchen, automatically shoving a piece of pizza into your mouth. You may or may not be an emotional eater. And you may or may not being fucking emotional right now.

Jared directs a smirk at Jensen who's now inhaling a large slice himself, "Don't stuff yourself with too much pizza, Ackles. You wanna be ready and willing for your date tonight."

"I know, right! She's crazy hot." Your best friend replies mumbling with his mouth full.

"You're taking someone to the awards?" You ask nonchalantly, as if your stomach didn't just do a friggin somersault.

"Yeah my manager thinks it's better than me showing up solo. It's cool with me. She's sexy as hell. And funny too." Jensen obnoxiously wiggles his eyebrows in your direction, close to earning himself a punch in the gut.

"Seriously, man. She's gorgeous. If I were you, I'd propose tonight. Lock it down asap!" Jared throws his napkin down dramatically, as if that drives his point home. You're surrounded by dumb asses.

"That's not a good enough reason to get married, Padalecki. I need to test drive the car first before I buy it."

"He means sex." Jared stupidly informs you. Yeah no shit, dipstick.

"Who the fuck are you two idiots talking about?" You blurt out, freezing at the way the words stumbled out of your mouth. You didn't sound jealous, right?

Damn it.

"Jenna Moore. She plays a supporting role in my movie. She's new to the business, so it's her first major motion picture."

"She's talented...definitely has some nice assets." Jared cracks, mischievously rubbing his palms together.

"And that's my cue. Have fun gossiping, whores. I'm going to binge watch Schitt's Creek." Without a second glance, you steal one more piece of pizza and get the fuck out of there.

Is there a strong possibility that you're secretly harboring feelings for your best friend? Well duh. Anyone with half a brain can tell at this point, except for said best friend of course.

Whatever. You've been staring blankly at the TV screen for the past hour, trying to contemplate your wonderful life choices. Then a knock on your bedroom door breaks your concentration.

"Hey." Jensen pops his head in, appearing strangely nervous although you keep that information to yourself.

"I know you're mad at me. Hopefully I can make up for it."

"We shall see." You sass side eyeing him, pulling a quiet growl from his chest.

"Come on. Follow me." Your best friend waves you over towards the door but you refuse to budge.

"What?"

"Come on, Y/N. Pleaseee."

"For the love of all things holy, Ackles. This better be good." You groan theatrically, chucking your blanket onto the floor before lazily leaving the room.

Jensen's nervousness grows by the second as he leads you down the hall to a huge guest bedroom. He hesitates for a split second before swinging the door open and heading inside. 

You see three pretty women, you'd guess probably in their 30s and they are all smiling brightly in your direction. Dafuq?!

"Y/N...this is Kelsey, Tina and Jen."

“Um...hi." You mutter with a strained smile. "What's happening right now, Jay?"

"Kelsey's gonna do your hair, Tina's doing your makeup and Jen will help you with your outfit." Jensen claps his hands loudly, looking beyond thrilled.

"....What."

"You're my date to the CMT's!"

"What the fuck...what about the stupid actress? Did she bail on you?" You cross your arms over your chest, making Jensen snicker loudly. Fantastic.

"No, babe. She was never my date. The studio wanted me to take Jenna but I said no. I want to take my favorite girl." He admits sheepishly, a light shade of pink covering his cheeks.

"And you thought springing it on me like this would be a good idea?"

"Yes...maybe...I don't know." Jensen stutters adorably, running his hands through his hair. Deciding you both need some privacy, he asks the three women to wait downstairs before pulling you over to the couch.

"I know you're not big on the celebrity thing, like all the attention that comes with being out in public with me. But I'm also a stubborn fucker and I want you to be on my arm tonight."

"I literally want to smack you." You whine, shoving him in the shoulder. He instantly shoves you back, making you both burst out laughing.

"I know. I figured if it was a last minute surprise...you wouldn't have time to get too nervous about it. Or get too pissed at me. So what do you say? Be my date?"

"I suppose..."

"Sweet!" Jensen jumps up, lifting you off of the the ground in a bone crushing hug.

"Lord help me." You groan smushing your face into his hard chest, realizing this could easily turn into a horrible idea.

"I'm gonna send the girls in and they can help you get ready. I even picked a dress for you!" Jensen's energy is annoyingly infectious, so you choose to just go along with this crazy idea.

Getting your hair and makeup professionally done is actually pretty fucking fun. You could totally get used to this kind of pampering. Although Jen won't let you see your dress until it's time to get changed and it's driving you mad.

You're silently praying that you'll like what Jensen handpicked for you. Finally after laying out your matching high heels and jewelry, she reveals what you've been waiting for.

Your mouth drops at the gorgeous, multi-colored gown with a hip high slit placed in front of you. That boy did fucking good. Real good. You're now starting to get weirdly excited for tonight, even if it ends up going bad at least you'll look awesome.

The girls take care of some finishing touches before wishing you well. Now it's just you and Jensen left in the house, it's nerve racking since he hasn't seen you yet.

You tell yourself to stop being a major pussy and head downstairs to where he's waiting for you. Seeing him in his dark maroon suit is giving your mind all sorts of naughty ideas.

"Holy shit, Y/N. You look incredible!" Jensen's practically drooling at the sight of you and you're pleasantly surprised at his reaction. Taking your hand, he twirls you around causing a giggle to escape your lips.

"So will you be my date?" Jensen wonders wrapping his arm around your waist.

"Um I think we already established that." You chuckle, gesturing down at your fancy attire.

"I mean like a real date. Like more than friends."

"Really..."

"Hell yeah. You're my best friend, Y/N. I can't see myself with anyone else. You're beautiful and hilarious and just...amazing." He takes advantage of your shocked state by crashing his lips into yours. You gotta give it to him, he's definitely turned this night around.

"You ready for our first date, gorgeous?"

"I'd rather pizza and beer but I suppose an award show will do." You tease hooking your arm with his.

"That's my girl." Jensen happily agrees with a smirk, leading the way.

~

[whatareyousearchingfordean]

I'm gonna be that guy and say do all of the emojis.

☝ - How tall are you?
5’10✔ - Sexual Orientation
I would say straight 🚬 - Do you Smoke?
bleh no🍷 - Do you Drink?
hells to the yeah♒ - Do you Take Drugs?
does ibuprofen count? 😳 - Age you get mistaken for?
like 25💉 - Have Tattoos?
yes two of them on my wrists, a cross and a Christian fish✏️ - Want any tattoos?
there is one other I want but I’m not sure I’ll ever get it✂️ - Got any Piercings?
just my ears✌ - Want any piercings?
no, well maybe a second ear piercing👌 - Best friend?
@papiberniesanders♥ - Do you like anyone?
;) lol jk🎤 - Top 5 favorite bands?
maroon 5, the eagles, Kansas, and that’s about it I’m not much of a bands type person🎶 - Top 5 favorite songs?
that is too hard to say, I’ll give you my right now top, love me now(johnlegend), say you won’t let go(James Arthur), sugar(maroon5), death of a bachelor, lay me down(Sam smith) 😒 - Biggest pet peeve?
people chomping their gum/food📝 - Story from your childhood.
I used to pretend I was a dog and eat dog food from the dog bowls 💬 - I wish…
someone would start the impeachment process for Donald trump… also one million dollars‼️ - Something you’ll change?
this is very vague, like change how? Never mind I got it… my bank account balance💦 - What makes you horny?Haha nice try lol idk tbh
🌟 - A wish you’ll wish for?
seriously I literally just answered this🔥 - Something spicy you like?Tabasco sauce👃 You hate the smell of ….
fish👊 - Something you hate?
The American govt rn 🚶 - Are you single?Yes
💬 - Can we text?
yes💌 - Fan mail me?
yes💍 - Marry me?
I’m not sure I’m ready for that type of commitment💘 - Be my tumblr crush?
Wait I’m not already? ;)💭 - Favorite foods?
tacos!!!! And spaghetti ☀ - Story about your day.
uh it was friggin freezing after having been like 60 degrees yesterday like wtf💘 - Top 5 celebrity crushes?
Jensen ackles, David boreanez, john krasinksi, milo ventimiglia, josh hutcherson🎥 - Top 5 favorite movies?
titanic, she’s the man, how the grinch stole Christmas (Jim carrey version) the conjuring, scream📺 - Top 5 favorite TV shows?
spn, bones, friends, the office, this is us oh man I could go on forever ✏ - Random fact about yourself.
I still live with my parents ✈️ - Where are you from?
Michigan 🚀 - Where do you wanna visit?
London Ireland Greece New Orleans 😍 - Do you have a crush?Not really nah
😷 - Something you hate eating?
liver I can’t do it man🙈 - What makes you shy?
people complimenting me💃 - Can you dance?
eh💏 - Do you love anyone?
my bubby👟 - Favorite shoe(s) to wear?
my flats🌴 - A island you would visit?
Hawaii fo sho🌎 - A country you would visit?
I mean I already answered that soooo🌀 - Favorite type of weather?
breezy fall afternoons🔮 - Do you believe in luck?
yeah📱 - What kinda phone do you have?
iPhone 7 plus📅 - Favorite time of the year?
fall📚 - Career goal you want?
photographer🍴 - Favorite food(s) to eat?
again I already answered this like who the hell put this thing together🍭 - Favorite Candy?
starbursts 🍇 - Favorite fruits?Strawberries🚘 - Dream car(s)?
Jeep Wrangler🚔 - Have you ever been arrested?
no🚑 - Have you ever driven in an ambulance before?
driven or ridden? I’ve had a ride in one before🎫 - Do you have a license?
yes🚼 - Do you have or want kids?
idk I always thought I did but now I’m not so sure 🔞 - Are you under 18?
Defo not🐶 - Do you own a pet?
yes my bubby butt😔 - Something that makes you sad?
the state of our union right now😡 - What pisses you off?
Donald trump😏 - What turns you on?
an attractive guy in a nice suit with a gun in his hand mmmm😈 - Are you a freak?
:)💪 - Do you work out?Hahah have you seen me?

Boom done and they repeated like 3 questions like wtf were you doing people

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 3) - A Moment

Summary: Jensen is away from home for a few days but isn’t having the easiest time being away from the kids for the first time since the accident. When he returns home, he has a gala to attend on Saturday night but a kiss on the cheek and slip of the tongue will snowball into the reader and Jensen sharing a moment...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,100ish

Warnings: language, death of a spouse, death of a parent, anxiety, self-worth problems, referenced past harassment

A/N: I love this part so much for so many reasons. Please enjoy!

________

“Hi Jensen,” you asked Monday night when your phone rang. “How was your flight earlier?”

“Same old same old. I just got out of work,” he said with a yawn. “Gonna grab a bite out with a friend. Kids eat dinner okay?”

“We had honey sriracha glazed salmon with brussel sprouts and roasted red potatoes.”

“Really?”

“They had kraft mac and cheese and I had Taco Bell.”

“See this is why I like you,” he chuckled.

“I’ll try the salmon again tomorrow. I was gonna make it but they didn’t have any at the store,” you said, opening the fridge and taking out a pint of ice cream. “Hey can I have what’s left of this mint ice cream?”

“Sure. Pick some more up for me sometime before friday please,” he said. “Also, Taco Bell? You do realize we live in freaking Austin right. There are literally hundreds of places you can go that have better mexican food.”

“Yeah but fake cheese tastes good,” you said. He laughed and your stomach rumbled. “I so should have gotten more than two tacos.”

“You in the kitchen?” he asked. You hummed and you heard him let out an oof in the background.

“Yeah. You alright?”

“This bed in my hotel room is comfy,” he said. “But I was starting to say, go in the drawer at the end of the counter by the table. There’s only five hundred gajillion take out menus in there. Order a treat for yourself. It’s on me.”

“Jensen. I can get my own dinner.”

“True but you’re on call 24/7 until I get back.”

“Well in that case I bet you got a menu for a fancy steakhouse in here somewhere,” you teased as you picked up one for a tex mex looking restaurant. “Does this place really have quesadillas this big?”

“You must be looking at the menu on top. I almost ordered from there last week actually. The food’s great. They do delivery too. Just buzz the guy into the gate when they get there.”

“Any recommendations?” you asked, taking out the menu and flipping it over.

“Quesadillas are good. Loaded nachos are amazing. I’ve literally never had a bad thing from there,” he said. “To be honest I’d rather be getting that than where I’m going tonight.”

“Why’s that?” you asked, reading through your options, surprised to find such good prices.

“I have to wear a suit,” he said with a sigh. “After being poked and prodded all day I literally would rather just eat crap and watch food network.”

“How long have you known this friend of yours?” you asked.

“Twenty years, why?”

“Then you guys knew each other when you were young. It’s not too late out there. Call him, see if he’d rather get some crap food, a six pack and just catch up on his couch or in your room. I’m pretty sure he’s more looking forward to seeing an old friend again than the food,” you said.

“You make very good points. I should pay you more,” he said.

“You pay me plenty and barely let me spend a dime of my money on myself,” you said. “I don’t need more.”

“You got that fancy computer though.”

“You literally have the exact same mac in your office.”

“You moved in like three boxes and two computers,” he said.

“An ipad is not a computer,” you said.

“Debatable.”

“Well I like to draw sometimes and it’s easier on an ipad when you’re laying in bed,” you said. 

“Are you any good?” he asked.

“No.”

“I bet they’re really good,” he said as you rolled your eyes. “I see you draw with the kids sometimes and those are good.”

“It’s a hobby is all,” you said, leaning back against the counter, your stomach grumbling again. “Anything else you want me to grab at the store? I’m going to hit it tomorrow while everyone’s at school.”

“Nah. Get the usual stuff,” he said. “The kiddos in bed?”

“Yeah, got the last one down about fifteen minutes ago,” you said. He hummed and you heard the sigh in it. “I got a video of them playing earlier I’ll send you.”

“Thanks. It’s my first night away from them in a long time. Normally I’m able to come back same day. I was kinda hoping they’d still be awake to say goodnight.”

“They’re safe and sound dad. We’ll call again after school tomorrow to talk like today,” you said.

“Yeah,” he breathed out. He was quiet and you pulled the phone away, taking a deep breath. 

“You okay?” 

“I haven’t been alone like this in a really long time.”

“I know. You check out your backpack yet?”

“No. Why?”

“You didn’t bring a jacket with you so I put that yellow hoodie that’s always on the hook in there in case you got cold.”

“That was Dee’s hoodie.”

“I was pretty sure it was,” you said. You heard him shuffle around briefly before he hummed, much happier that time. “I thought you might like to have a piece of...something-”

“I really don’t pay you enough,” he said quietly. “Thanks for putting this in there. I need something from home more than I realized.”

“Well put it on, call up your buddy and have some fun tonight, Ackles. Nanny’s orders.” He laughed and you felt that twinge in your stomach again, your eyes quickly closing.

“I will. Hey you mind if I call again tomorrow night? I don’t have any plans and sitting in a hotel room by myself isn’t very fun.” You smiled and felt heat in your cheeks, quickly thinking it away. He wanted company for a few minutes was all and you were friends. It was completely normal to talk with friends on the phone everyday.

“Of course. As long as you get a dinner in at some point that’s more than fine with me,” you said. “We can talk about The Bachelor!”

“Oh God no,” he groaned, chuckling after a few seconds. “I’ll settle for Grey’s Anatomy.”

“This Is Us?” you asked.

“Supernatural?”

“I haven’t watched that yet. I’m working up to it,” you said. 

“Work faster woman. I only know legit everything about that one,” he chuckled. “But probably not a good idea to watch that one until I get back and you're not alone. First episode is kinda scary.”

“Oh well thanks for that,” you said, watching the clock tick by, knowing it had to be almost seven out there. “I’ll let you go. Have fun tonight Jensen.”

“I will Y/N. Promise.”

Friday Night

“Arrow,” you said after she’d flung her pasta bowl all over herself, covering her hair and face. She sniffled and you forced a smile. “Okay. How about a bath after dinner?”

Fifteen minutes later JJ and Zeppelin were in the movie room watching a cartoon while you had Arrow in the kids bathroom, scooping up some water over her head in the tub.

“Well hello ladies,” you heard behind you. You jumped and spun around, glaring for a moment before you recognized Jensen.

“Just me,” he said, backpack still on his shoulders. 

“Daddy I got ziti all over my head,” she said.

“You did?” he asked, dropping his bag and taking off his jacket, kneeling down next to you. You got the last bit of sauce off and squirted some shampoo in her hair, Jensen watching you with a smile. “How was your day?”

She told him all about breakfast and daycare, playing with a few toy boats with him while you rinsed out the soap. You did a bit of conditioner before getting it out as well and putting the spray nozzle back.

“I got the rest if you wanna get the dryer ready?” he asked you, reaching for the soap. You swapped spots with him, Jensen washing her up while she kept talking about her day. By the time he was all done you had the dryer out and plugged in, Jensen picking her up and wrapping her up in a big bundle of towels before he set her on the counter. You went to work drying her hair, Jensen draining the tub and finding some pajamas for her.

“Do you want your hair up or down, sweetie?” you asked. She tried gathering it up and you grabbed her soft scrunchie perfectly fine for sleeping in from the counter. You put her hair up in a soft little bun, Jensen making an adorable sound when he returned.

“Aw, you look so cute, baby. I’ll be right there alright?” he said. She hopped off the counter and got dressed, rushing off downstairs when she was all done. “Survive the day?”

“Somehow we always do,” you said, gathering up the towels. “Kids are in the movie room.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna shower but we’re all good for the night,” he said. “Thanks for watching them this week.”

“You gotta go do your job,” you said. “You working on a movie or something? You never said.”

“Uh gonna be in a show called The Boys,” he said. “I’m gonna be one of the superheroes so I gotta go out and get my suit made all special for me every so often.”

“You’re gonna be a supe! That’s so fucking cool!” you said. He grinned and you blushed, shaking your head. “I’m so sorry. That was so not appropriate.”

“I don’t see any little ears around,” he chuckled. “You like the show then?”

“Yeah. It’s great. Like no other show consistently makes me go what the fuck did I just see. That’s so cool you get to be a supe though. Are you a one off or like a main character?”

“I’ll be very present in the next season. Gonna deal with the seven, all that,” he said. “I’m gonna be Solider Boy.”

“I can see that. You have that all American boy thing about you.”

“It’s my adorable face,” he teased. 

“Well remember to not stay up too late. You have the gala tomorrow night remember?”

“Yes mom,” he said as you walked out. “Get the kids some takeout for dinner tomorrow and yourself.”

“Sounds good boss,” you said. “Night Jensen.”

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

The Next Night

You froze from where you were mixing up some brownie batter with JJ at the kitchen counter as Jensen popped downstairs. He was in a gorgeous black suit, a maroon pocket square and no tie going on, his hair scruffier looking than normal.

He started to laugh and you realized you were staring, your cheeks feeling hot as you went back to stirring.

“Mmm, you guys save me a brownie or two for when I get home?” he asked, leaning over and dipping his finger in the bowl of cream cheese frosting.

“We’ll spare one for dad,” you said, Jensen going back for seconds. “Ah, ah. No.”

He dipped his finger in and got another fingerful, kissing the top of JJ’s head and the twins at the counter.

“Be good for Y/N guys!” he called as he rushed out.

You whistled and he jogged back, catching you holding up his phone from the counter.

“Thank you,” he said, taking it and pecking a kiss on your cheek. You looked up at him and he froze. “I am so sorry. I…”

“It’s okay. Go have fun and be all charitable,” you said. He shoved his phone in his pocket and ran out, JJ scratching her head.

“Dad’s kinda weird sometimes,” she said.

“Yeah, he is. But so is everybody,” you said. “Let’s get this in the oven so you guys can pick out colors for your frosting, hm?”

“I really shouldn’t. But I really should,” you said to yourself, plopping your second brownie of the night in a bowl and sticking a scoop of ice cream on top. You carried it over to the couch and lay back, watching TV on the big screen as you heard the door open. Jensen came into view a minute later, taking his jacket off and groaning as he washed up at the sink. He went to the tray of brownies on the counter and picked one up with a big sigh. “Fun night?”

He jumped and whacked his head against the cabinet above, hissing before he spun around.

“You okay?” you asked. He nodded and left the brownie behind, pushing his sleeves up before taking a seat on the other end of the lounger.

“Y/N I’m really sorry about the kiss on the cheek. That was so inappropriate. You’ve kinda implied that there was some stuff that’s happened to you at other jobs you found over the line and I’m really truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I wasn’t...I forgot you’re my employee for a moment. I really am sorry.”

“Jensen if I had a problem with it or you or your behavior I would quit on the spot. I don’t let myself get pushed around anymore. You were happy and busy and you pecked a kiss on my cheek, not reach a hand down my pants. It’s really okay. You’re way too hard on yourself.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Positive. It’s barely ten which means you left as soon as you could. You’re supposed to be out having fun,” you said.

“I was kinda freaking out that you hated me,” he said.

“Dude you gotta relax,” you said. “Have a brownie and some ice cream.”

He got up and after a minute took a seat at the other end with a bowl of his own, smiling as he got a taste.

“This is fucking awesome,” he said.

“I know,” you said, Jensen smirking. “Do you feel better now silly boy? I promise that if you ever do anything I find inappropriate I will promptly kick you in the balls.”

“I can agree to that,” he said. He ate for a moment, watching the TV and laying back. “Do you ever like, want to go do things with your friends on a Saturday night? If you do that’s totally cool. These aren’t normal hours anyways.”

“Being a nanny eats up a lot of your social life,” you said. “Kinda got kicked out of my friend group after I broke up with my ex anyways.”

“Well they sound like they suck,” he said.

“Yes, they do,” you said. “I don’t mind so much. I meet plenty of new people through work. Only person you can depend on is yourself and I don’t tend to let myself down.”

“That’s a very lonely way to go through life,” he said.

“It’s not easy to make friends in your thirties,” you said. “Maybe for someone like you who travels and meets new people a lot and stuff but you have like, real friendships. You know?”

“Well we have a real friendship, don’t we? You’re friends with Jared and Rob and Ruthie and Rich,” he said. “I don’t trust just anybody with my kids. That’s real.”

“Yeah,” you said, taking a bite. “So when’s your friend free?”

“Hm?”

“Blind date guy. Maybe he could be a friend if things work out,” you said.

“Oh yeah. He uh, he actually got a gig up in Canada so you might need to wait like a month or so. But he’s excited to meet you,” said Jensen.

“Can I have his number?” you asked. “Or do you think that’d be weird?”

“No, not weird. I think he just kinda wants to do it old school if that’s okay. Meet you first and go from there.”

“This friend of yours better be like super hot,” you said.

“If it’s a problem-“

“I can respect him wanting to do things like that. But I’m gonna want a firm date soon,” you said.

“I’ll make sure to get you one,” he said. “I’ll get it down tomorrow, promise.”

“He better not mind me eating like this either. I ain’t a salad on the first date kinda girl. He’s gonna need to keep up with my eating while were at it,” you said. He snorted in his seat beside you and ran his hand over his face.

“I will keep that in mind. I have occasionally had dessert first truth be told,” he said.

“This is why I like you Ackles. You get my sweet tooth,” you laughed.

“It’s a good thing your dinners are healthy cause I swear I haven’t consumed this many baked goods in months,” he said. “The kids love it and my stomach loves it though.”

“I’m gonna need to start working out though if I keep this up. Oh hey is it okay if I do laps in the pool in the mornings? I’ll be super quiet and stuff.”

“You don’t gotta ask,” he smiled. “Like I said when you started, you got free reign to use the pool, the gym, whatever, aside from my room. You a swimmer?”

“Not really but I hate running and supposedly it’s a good workout or something,” you shrugged, eating another bite of brownie.

“Anything in the gym you’re free to use. I know you must get a little bored sometimes when I’m gone and the kids are,” he said.

“Not bored per say. Ordinarily I would do more chores but you have like a cleaner and a landscaper and you just...give me more time in the day than I’m used to is all. It’s actually great though. It gives me plenty of time to come up with ideas for the kids and stuff.”

“Well as long as you’re taking breaks and your lunch do as you please,” he said, his spoon scraping the bottom of his bowl.

“Now that’s just sad.”

“I really should get another one of these,” he said, sucking the spoon.

“It’s really the only choice you have,” you said. He laughed as he hopped up, skirting back into the kitchen and fixing up another brownie and ice cream combo.

“Hey you want more, Dee?” he asked. You popped your head up and he spun around. “I’m-“

“Don't apologize, Jensen,” you said. He tapped his fingers against the counter and took a deep breath, putting his back to you.

“That’s the second time tonight I’ve done that,” he said. 

“Jensen. There’s nothing wrong with missing your wife.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“You don’t...talk about her much.”

“It was...she wasn’t…” he trailed off. He sat down on a barstool and you got up, walking over and hopping up on the counter beside him. You set your feet in the stool next to his and paused before you put a hand on top of his head and ran your fingers through the short strands. “This shouldn’t have happened to her.”

“Death is the price for living. Pain’s the price for caring. Doesn’t mean it’s not worth it,” you said. You started to move your hand away when he turned his head. 

“Don’t…” he said, easing when you played with it gently again. “That’s always calmed me down since I was a little kid.”

“Someone should take care of you every once in a while you know. Your parents, siblings, friends. Everyone needs a break.”

“I had a lot of help at the beginning. I don’t need a whole day. Just a moment here and there,” he said quietly.

“It’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. He nodded and you played with his hair a few moments, watching his shoulders ease. This time when you pulled away he smiled up at you. “Better?”

“Yeah. Thank you. That’s not in your job description to do that sort of thing.”

“Well I think your wife would want somebody to watch your back, even for only a minute or two,” you said.

“You don’t have any brain aneurysms I should know about, do you?” he chuckled. 

“No. That what happened?” you asked, a single nod coming from him.

“She was sleeping. Not a bad way to go I was told, you’d never even know,” he said. “Not a fun thing to wake up to in the morning though.”

“My dad had a mass at the back of his head. It was that same kind of thing where one second it’s fine and the next everything’s different deal. It was inoperable. Then he goes and dies from a car accident of all things before it got bad. My mom had a hard time with that.”

“You said she had a boyfriend later on right?” he asked.

“Yeah. I know you’ll be okay, Jensen,” you said. You ruffled his hair and he smiled, a soft look on his face. “Pro tip too from someone who’s been there, kids with a single parent turn out just fine.”

“Do they ever wish they had another parent?” he asked.

“They wish the parent they still have around is happy again someday. They won’t understand until they’re older that it’s a different kind of love between parents. But they’ll know it’s a little different and they’ll hope dad feels better too. Your kids are tough. They’ll be okay too.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” he said. You hopped off the counter and washed up your dish, sticking it in the dishwasher before you went to leave for your room. “So I gotta ask. Who takes care of you?”

“Me?” you asked, pointing to yourself. He shrugged and smiled, your gaze going past him. “I’m all good. I don’t need somebody to take care of me.”

“Liar,” he said softly. “You know my friend tells me everybody needs to be taken care of sometimes.”

“That’s the difference between us Jensen. You’re not like me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he scoffed, his face scrunching up suddenly.

“It means you’re not on your own and even if you feel like it, it’s only been a little while. You’ll be okay. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was a kid. I don’t need anyone to take care of me.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“You haven’t lived my life and I haven’t lived yours. Don’t try to tell me that I’m not capable of-”

“It’s not about what you’re capable of. You said pain is part of life, it’s the price for living. You’ve had more than your fair share-”

“Lots of people have it a lot worse.”

“Don’t compare your pain to someone else's. They haven’t lived your life,” he said. You rolled your eyes and started to walk away, Jensen out of his seat and catching up with you in the hall. “You can be taken care of too you know.”

“By who? My non-existent circle of friends? My crappy ex? My mom’s ex boyfriend who’s got his own wife and kids? I am perfectly fine managing all of this by myself. I’ve been doing it for years.”

“You’re so frustratingly annoying,” he said, running his hand over his face. “Me. I’m talking about me. You just...you took care of me tonight. The least I can do is show you the same compassion.”

“No,” you said.

“No? Why not?”

“Because taking care of me turns into you walking into my shower without my permission and you being a dick and this going away and I don’t want you to be those things so no. We’re getting too friendly. Please leave me alone tomorrow.”

You left him in the hall and went down to your area of the house, shutting the door after you. There was quickly a knock and you growled, ripping it open.

“What?” you snapped at him.

“I am not going to hurt you or be a dick to you or whatever else you think. You need to realize in the real world, not everyone is an asshole.”

“You’re the one not living in the real world then, Jensen. Everybody’s an asshole.”

“Fine. I’m an asshole. But I’m not leaving until you say I can take care of you tomorrow. Two minutes is all I’m asking for.”

“This is my part of the house.”

“And technically I am outside your door,” he said. “Why are you so resistant to somebody doing something nice for you?”

“Because I don’t wanna get used to it,” you said. He stared and you shook your head. “You’re attractive and an actor and kind and funny and it’s not a matter of if you date again but when and when that day comes, we ain’t gonna be sitting on the couch eating ice cream anymore. Please do not invite me to anymore outings as a friend. I’ll attend if required as a nanny but this between us is done.”

“For the record, the only one around here that thinks of you as just the hired help is you. My children are completely like their old selves. I feel more like my old self. You seem happier than when I met you but for some reason, that’s a big problem to you. I do not understand that.”

“Leave or I resign and move out first thing,” you said. He crossed his arms and lifted his chin. “This is my formal resignation then. The company will-”

He moved quickly and you weren’t sure what he was doing at first but soon you realized he was hugging you, your hands resting against his chest. You swallowed and he didn’t move, your forehead resting against him.

“What are you doing?” you breathed out.

“When’s the last time you got a fucking hug?” he asked.

“The kids-”

“Not the kids.”

“I don’t remember,” you said quietly. 

“Then you are overdue,” he said. You let yourself reach your arms around him and return the hug, breathing deeply, a small bubble in you rising up. You tried to push it down but it came back harder and you were fighting back tears before you knew it. 

He could feel when you lost that battle, hand rubbing up and down your back. There was a soft shushing in the air and after a few minutes you felt better. You lifted your head but didn’t look at him, Jensen squeezing you in his hug again before it eased.

“You know you’re not allowed to quit on me...like ever,” he chuckled. You let out a small laugh, Jensen smiling at you when you forced your head up. He wiped off your cheeks and you let out one last sniffle. “You’re not alone. I promise you’re not. It’s not the quantity of people you have in your life but the quality and I’m sorry but we are friends and there’s nothing you can do about that so I’d just accept it now.”

“I’m sorry I was such a bitch.”

“You were scared, not a bitch,” he said. “I wish I could make you happier is all.”

“I wish I could bring back your wife for you,” you said.

“One of those is a lot more possible than the other,” he said. A small smile crossed his lips before he ducked his head down, shoulders heaving back before his head raised. “Y/N, can I confess something to you? I hope...I hope it doesn’t bother you but if it does, you don’t have to continue working for me. I’d still like to be friends regardless.”

“What’s wrong?” you asked, Jensen looking past you.

“My single friend I was going to set you up with? He doesn’t exist.”

“Oh.”

“Cause he’s kinda me.”

“Oh,” you said, staring at him, a lot of his previous behavior starting to click into place. “That’s…”

“I know,” he said, stepping away and rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s weird and douchey and I’m sorry. I like you and I was trying to see if you would ever go for a 42 year old actor. I left out the widow and kids part but...I’m sorry.”

“When did you like me?” you asked quietly.

“The whole time?” he said, laughing nervously to himself. “It’s kinda snowballed since we met. I never in my life thought I’d like someone again. I didn’t want to like you. I hired you because you were the best candidate and I knew the kids would be in good hands but everyday it’s there, even more, and I know this is so inappropriate on so many levels and I’m really starting to ramble here but you make me think maybe your mom had a point and people are allowed to have...more than one…and sometimes the way you talk to me and treat me and look at me...” 

He swallowed as you stepped in front of him, taking a quick breath. 

“I will keep working for you and I’ll be your friend...and you can make me dinner tomorrow,” you said with a smile. “We’ll see where it goes from there?”

“You’re not...weirded out?” he asked.

“By your age, you’re my boss or the cheeky lying about a fake friend?” you said.

“All of the above.”

“Age doesn’t bother me. You have no idea how to be a boss, no offense, and the friend...I don’t blame you for wanting to test the waters first,” you said. “But I expect honesty from here on out.”

“Absolutely,” he said.

“Good,” you said.

“You do like me right?” he asked. “Like you don’t feel obligated or-”

“I like you Jensen. Why do you think I was trying to push you away before you got too close? I didn’t want to be hurt.”

“Give me a chance to not,” he said. “We can have dinner and see how it goes from there.”

“Normally the best course of action,” you said.

“But maybe with a few more hugs from now on,” he said. “For the both of us.”

“That’d be okay with me,” you said. He smiled and you returned it. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning then.”

“I guess you will,” he said. He turned to go when he spun back on his heels. “Or we could go back out there, eat way too much dessert and hang out?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “Give me a minute to wash up my face.”

“Take all the time you want. I’m gonna change into something more comfortable anyways.”

He left and you washed off your face in the bathroom, drying it off and taking a deep breath.

You did like him. There was something calming about him to you and you enjoyed his company, even if it was just the two of you having a quiet cup of coffee in the morning.

But he was an actor. And kinda famous. And a widow. And had three kids. 

“But your face is cute,” you said aloud, looking the mirror. “Gah, of course you have to be like...into me. Nutjob. He must be a nutjob. That’s it.”

“Y/N?” you heard him saying and you smacked yourself in the face. “Are you talking to yourself?”

“Uh, yeah,” you said, stepping out and seeing him in the hall sporting a pair of pajama pants and a t shirt. “That was fast.”

“Well I didn’t go through an eight step skin routine too,” he chuckled.

“For your information, my routine is only three steps,” you said, walking past him and waggling your fingers.

“I didn’t realize I was living with such a savage,” he said. You laughed and went back to the kitchen, making up another dish of brownie for him while he went over to where he kept his liquor. “You a bourbon kind of girl?”

“Is there any other kind?” you said.

“Touche.” He poured out two glasses and slid one over while you passed his bowl to him. “So what’s this three step routine? Do I need to up my game or what?”

“I think I need your routine, not the other way around,” you said.

“Nah. I like looking at your face more than mine. Trust me.”

“Oh. How long you been holding back those kinds of comments?” you teased.

“Longer than you’d think,” he said, sharing the bowl with you. “Feel okay now?”

“Yeah. I can’t remember the last time I cried,” you said. “Especially in front of someone.”

“A good cry session has never hurt in my experience. I’ll do it for work and stuff but normally I’m not much of one. Aside from the past six months I mean.”

“Are you ready to try this?” you asked.

“Yeah. I know I am,” he said. “I’m positive of it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you make me happy. You make me...want to do stuff again, believe in all the romantic...if I wasn’t ready, I’d feel guilty. But I don’t. I just know that maybe some people get more than one chance and maybe I’m one of them.”

“I know you are, whoever it ends up being,” you said.

“Are you ready to try this?”

You took a drink and bite of ice cream, pushing the bowl back.

“I miss my family,” you said. “I miss being happy. I’d like to...have someone that could take care of me for a moment every once in a while. I might mess that up sometimes but I’m willing to try.”

“Me too,” he said. “I’d expect some screw ups on this end too. I’ve been out of the dating game for a long time.”

“I’m sure it hasn’t changed all that much,” you said.

“Well I’ve never dated with kids and as a widow,” he said.

“I’m just in this for them to be honest,” you laughed. 

“I see how it is,” he said with a smirk. 

“I don’t think it’ll be as hard as you think,” you said.

“I hope not,” he said. 

“Do they know? You want to date?”

“JJ does,” he said. “She’s little but she understands that it doesn’t mean I’ll never love her mother any less. She’s been strangely okay through this whole thing aside from the first few weeks. She helps her brother and sister out more now.”

“As someone who was that kid, minus the siblings, I know they’ll be okay. She’s a great kid. I’ve met plenty of spoiled brats. Yours are not.”

“Well that might just be the second best thing I’ve heard tonight,” he said.

“Whatever was the first?” you teased, eating a spoon of ice cream.

“Oh I think you know,” he said, stealing the spoon back. You smiled and heard some feet run around upstairs before the stairs creeped and a little head ducked down into view. “Arrow. It’s bedtime sweetie.”

“I had a accident,” she said. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for, honey,” he said. “I’ll be right back.”

“Want help?” you asked.

“Sure,” he said. He scooped up Arrow on the way up the stairs, setting her down in the kids bathroom. He got some clean pajamas and you found a pair of pull ups, Arrow pouting at you. 

“I don’t need ‘em,” she said.

“Your brother wears them. I wore them and your mommy and daddy wore them. Everybody wears pull ups when they’re your age,” you said.

“Just tonight,” she said, stepping into them. Jensen walked past with the mattress liner and she was dressed by the time you heard the washer going off in the distance. You walked her back to bed, Jensen slipping in past you and tucking her in. “Night daddy.”

“Night sweetie,” he said, kissing her temple. 

“Night Y/N,” she said.

“Night night kiddo,” you said, giving her a tiny wave before you left, Jensen flipping off her light and pulling the door shut. 

“Come here a second,” he said, nodding and you saw him head towards his room. The double doors were open and you stepped inside, Jensen going past the bed and over to a set of french doors. He pushed one open and waved for you to follow, showing you out to a rooftop balcony.

“Wow,” you said, a set of chairs, a table and a lounger out there along with a whole lot soft string lights. “I didn’t realize you had this up here.”

“Kinda a place to go unwind, relax,” he said. “I disappear out here sometimes. Been out here a lot at night lately.”

“Thinking about what?” you asked.

“You,” he said. “I talk to Dee about you sometimes as crazy as that sounds.”

“Doesn’t sound crazy at all,” you said.

“I just wanted to say...this area isn’t off limits anymore. Nothing is,” he said. 

“She asked you out, didn’t she,” you said with a smile. He rubbed the back of his neck and blushed. “You’re cute.”

You leaned up and kissed his cheek, heading back towards inside.

“Come on, Jensen. Before the ice cream melts on us.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 4 here!