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edgeray · 6 months ago

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Hello Ray! 🍅 anon here (again!)

I've been swamped irl these past few days (hence the relative radio silence) but. oh my goodness. I think I speak for all of us when I say that we have been eating GOOD. Going to ruin my digital footprint and quote zy0x on this: "I'm (s)creaming!" (both ways intended)

I absolutely love your dragon AU!Arle being a humongous dragon and nobody knows how old she is, thinking that she's some ancient beast when in reality she's still young, then "kidnapping" reader back to her nest where they spend some family time together... The trio coming to reader for food mainly because Arle Cannot Cook is hilarious, no wonder they went ham on the fish!

Arle only able to "cook" will forever be a running joke, istg. She and Tighnari would probably get along cuisine preferences wise, with their dislike of strong seasonings. Imagine Arle and Sumeru food?? Heavily seasoned to an inch of its life??? She's going to cry internally.

Let's avoid talking about the Angst TM of your madoka AU (Absolutely well written, love the style, love the effort, but screw it it's angst I left sobbing)

Comfort fics??? like one of your recent ones where reader just??? up and feeds Arle and then falls asleep in her arms??? are really to die for!!! ARLE IS SO SOFT OMGOMGOMG- Plus the teasing and banter that you throw in here and there? Absolute GOLD.

But I do agree about Arle on her period would show absolutely zero signs given what we know about her nature. Making Arle feel safe enough to fall asleep in reader's embrace is. SO ADORABLE HUHUFIWHUFWFIOJF;OI;JFJFIOW ARLEEE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 It is prime time to spoil her.

"The beach episode that no one asked for" I think I can speak for everybody that it just hasn't been asked for YET because Nobody has cooked it YET. THANK YOU FOR THE FOOD-

Poor reader having to choose to look at either the children having fun and enjoying themselves and Arle's handsome body? Reader you have two eyes and so many Kameras!!!!! Give the children the true family outing experience by shoving the Kamera in their face as they laugh! Unleash the inner pervert by taking all sorts of photos with your husband's bare ABS EXPOSED!!!

"It's my sixth? seventh? Who knows, I lost count" reread of practically your entire fic offerings and I would like to express my continued gratitude. If you need more requests I'll be happy to send some! (I'm not sending requests currently because you might have some on your list and I am not adding on to it)

[I still have. not. done Arle's story quest. I'm not ready for the heartbreak even though it means now I've been farming using the handbook instead of being able to go to the arena. I don't need 100 primogems. I need Clervie and Arle to still be together /copium]

Hi 🍅 anon! Getting your asks always makes me giddy haha. No worries on the radio silence.

First of all, I'd like to say I made the smart descision of staying up until 7AM and then deciding maybe staying up longer isn't a good idea, so I went ahead and slept until I woke up again. My response will be fueled by 3.5 hours of sleep so apologies if it's not coherent.

I'd like to say that you will be seeing more of Dragon AU considering that my 3 out of 8 requests sitting in my inbox are asking for a continuation 😅🤣 which frankly I'm surprised about because there wasn't much Arle in it and it wasn't that good quality of my writing but I guess the inclusion of the trio was nice and the random worldbuilding I threw in there. I don't know why I was so detailed about the fantasy elements.

I like. Highkey forgot that Arlecchino didn't like heavily seasoned food so I had it so that she liked Sumeru food because of the spiciness 😅. Fr I'm a fake fan. I think that's what I put in "Rest Your Worries, Lax Your Heart" (do not ask me how I come up with titles for my requests. You can tell how tired I am after making requests based on how lazy the titles are lmfao).

I also like lowkey forgot about the existence of Kameras. Taking pictures during vacation is not natural to me and kind of forgot that I can actually do that. 🤣 hence why i forgot about including it in "Rest Your Worries, Lax Your Heart." (can you tell this was the part that was very self-indulgent? I wanna touch her abs 😩)

Do the story request, get your heart ripped out like the rest of us. Don't be a coward /j. If you need Clervie and Arlecchino together, don't worry. I do have a domestic Arlevie sitting in my inbox...

Anyways, this makes me super giddy, and was a nice start to my morning. I'm glad that my efforts are worth it and that people like you get to enjoy my work. 🫶 I still have much more to write over the summer. I've looked back on my Google Doc where I compile all the requests and looks like I've written over 20k~ words since starting writing at June 1, and it's been 13 days since (with a 3 day break because of vacation which means on average I write around 2k~ words per day that I'm actively writing). And somehow in that time, I've done 12 requests 😲.

At this rate, by the end of the summer, I will have written enough to have a whole ass novel worth. 🤣 I've never had the commitment for long books so that's why I stick to oneshots. I definetely would write a 100k+ Arlecchino x Reader if I could but sadly I cannot. That bitch would be discontinued by like 25k because I get bored of the plot or something, idk.

Enough rambling ehehe, I really appreciate this ask 🍅 anon. 🫶 do expect me to write daily for a while. much more content to make you (s)cream hehe :D

#edgeray.answers #edgeray.🍅anon

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uncloseted · 3 years ago

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do you think some people can just never be in a committed relationship, or loyal? i've come close to, or cheated in every relationship i've been in (not been in a lot of relationships, but still). idk what drives me to do this, i feel terribly guilty after it happens and i KNOW there's no excuse/justification for it but i just dont know why i do this

Anonymous asked: To the person asking if Effy ever grew attached to the ppl she slept with... I read somewhere that after three times of sleeping with someone, the brain starts considering it "a relationship" (don't @ on that, I'm still not sure if it's just pseudo-psychology although even being that, there could still exist some truth in that statement bc of the way we're socialized) and like Christina said, she probably never slept with the same person more than once (which also probably contributed to her aura of mystery). She started to "fck (Cook) occasionally" like she said herself and she did end up kinda developing feelings for him.

Anonymous asked: So i’ve recently watching https://youtu.be/6LDP_SyswNk @Aba & Preach v 10 Girls (Fresh&Fit After Hours) and it’s interesting to hear your opinion about this discussion?

Anonymous asked:

Do you believe ‘in fact’ that all (heterosexual) men cheat (sleep with other women without their “regular partner” consent) is untold rule ? That men in nature are polyamorous and they can fuck without emotional attachment, but when it comes with women it’s not the same ?

I've been getting a lot of messages like these lately, so I want to do some myth busting about sex and sexuality. Research on sex and sexuality is relatively limited and tends to be done from a heteronormative, white, male perspective, leading both to gaps in our knowledge about sex and sexuality as well as misleading conclusions from the research that has been done. Further, there are all sorts of cultural and societal factors that complicate these types of issues, meaning that anyone who makes claims of "all men..." or "all women..." should be treated with suspicion. It's almost not worth trying to untangle the data because so much of it is just kind of bad... but bad data is better than believing people who make claims without any evidence, so let's get into it.

First things first, let's talk a little bit about sex and gender.

An estimated 3.5% of adults in the United States identify as lesbian, gay, or bisexual and an estimated 0.3% of adults are transgender. An estimated 8.2% report that they have engaged in same-sex sexual behavior and nearly 11% acknowledge at least some same-sex sexual attraction. About 1.7% of people are intersex, although the number of people with ambiguous genitals or who are "not classifiable as either male or female" is more like 0.02% to 0.05%. of people. About 1% of the population is asexual. These numbers are increasing as marginalized gender and sexual identities are becoming more discussed and more accepted. For example, one study found that worldwide, 13% of Gen Z identifies as homosexual or bisexual, while only 3% of Boomers do. And these numbers are higher in Europe and North America.

Other studies suggest that the number of people who have sex with people of their same sex are higher than the number of people who identify as LGBT. The International HIV/AIDS Alliance estimates that between 3-16% of men worldwide have had sex with another man. An analysis of 67 studies found that the lifetime prevalence of sex between men, regardless of their sexual orientation, was 3–5% for East Asia, 6–12% for South and South East Asia, 6–15% for Eastern Europe, and 6–20% for Latin America.

I mention all of this just to illustrate that studies of sex and gender are really complicated. There's a significant percentage of people who are partially or completely left out of the conversation about sexuality, meaning that the idea that "all men" or "all women" act a certain way is fundamentally limited. And the idea that there's a "male brain" or "female brain" that react different ways to sex is incredibly simplistic and not really productive.

Sexual Desire

Sex can mean a lot of different things to people, and it means different things to different people at different times in their lives. It can be an expression of romantic love and intimacy, or an emotional roller coaster, or a way to relieve tension, or a way to procreate, or something that's fun to do in the moment... it's hard to paint all of these different experiences with a broad brush. To compound that difficulty, women's sexuality has historically been cast as something dirty or shameful; societies have historically been more critical of women's sexual desires than heterosexual men's. So when discussing desire, especially female desire, we have to consider the social and cultural factors that impact behavior as well as the biological ones. The number of women who "report" feeling a certain way in research studies may not be an accurate representation of how many women feel that way due to feelings of guilt and shame.

That said, we do have some idea of where, statistically speaking, female sexuality is similar to male sexuality and where it differs. A 2019 meta-analysis found that nervous system responses to sexual and erotic images weren't tied to the biological sex assigned to participants at birth; men don't have a stronger reaction to erotic images than women do. Despite this, there's a distinct discrepancy between male pleasure and female pleasure, with women experiencing orgasms less frequently and engaging in sexual acts without feeling sexual desire. Women are often not taught about their bodies and are discouraged from exploring their own sexuality, meaning that there is a significant group of women who are having unsatisfying sex out of obligation to their partner. These are just a few reasons why women may appear to be less sexual than men, even though this doesn't pan out in non-subjective research.

In terms of attachment, I couldn't find any literature suggesting that men don't form emotional attachments after sex or that their brains react differently to sex than women's brains do. While sex absolutely can lead to emotional attachments, there's no hard and fast rule about how long it takes for that to happen, and seems to have more to do with how the individuals interact with one another than it has to do with the presence of sex in the relationship itself. Some of the research I could find actually suggested that men fall in love more readily than women do, and that women fall out of love more quickly than men do, but again, these studies are limited in scope and relatively old.

Polyamory and Open Relationships

Now let's talk a little bit about polyamory and open relationships. For the purposes of this discussion, we're talking primarily about people who consensually have sex with multiple partners outside of their primary partner, although "polyamory" can be used to describe romantic relationships as well.

As with everything else I'm talking about here, research on polyamory is limited. One study found that 16.8% of people desire to engage in polyamory, and 10.7% of people had engaged in polyamory at some point during their lives. Another study found that as of 2019, about 20% of the US population has, at one point in their lives, engaged in some sort of consensual non-monogamy. However, while these numbers are striking, they seem to mostly reflect a fantasy or desire. According to the 2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, only 4% of respondents reported currently being in an open relationship. Another study found that, out of 903 people who had an agreement with their partner allowing extramarital sex, only 24% had actually engaged in extramarital sex in the previous year. These statistics also do not account for people who were engaged in non-monogamy alongside their partner (such as in a threesome).

A number of things can motivate polyamory or open marriages. These include liking or being attracted to another person but not wanting to end the primary relationship, one partner not being able to fulfill the other partner's emotional needs, differing sex drives, one or both partners wanting more freedom and variety, a need for a challenge or a change, distance, social, and economic factors. While some people view polyamory as a sexual identity similar to being gay, the idea that some people are non-monogamous by nature is difficult to substantiate. It may be that monogamy is a spectrum, with some people being totally monogamous, others totally polyamorous, and most people in the middle in terms of their desire for and comfort with extra-relationship affairs. Some research actually suggests that monogamy is more difficult for women than it is for men, possibly because it is culturally accepted that men will struggle with monogamy, while women are expected to desire or value it.

The outcomes of open relationships range from the positive to the negative and neutral. 76% of couples in open marriages described the quality of their relationship as "better than average" or "outstanding". However, one study found that 80% of people who initially had open relationships shifted towards sexual monogamy over time. 60% of people who said that non-monogamy was their ideal form of romantic relationships changed their views to being sexually monogamous by five years later. There are many reasons why this may happen; 80% of couples in open relationships experience jealousy over their partner's relationships. Some felt that non-monogamy was too time consuming, took too much energy, was too complicated, or got in the way of developing love, trust, and more intimate relationships with a partner. Open marriage is perceived as a primary cause of divorce in approximately 2% of divorces, although couples who were non-monogamous were not at a higher risk for divorce than monogamous couples. The open relationships that are most successful are ones with communication, trust, the maintenance of boundaries, and good time management skills.

Cheating

Approximately 12% of men and 7% of women admit to having an extramarital affair in their lifetime, although women may be less likely to admit to having an extramarital affair because it's seen as more shameful for them than for their male partner. Women may also be less likely to engage in infidelity as a reflection of traditional gender-based differences in power that exist in society. Women who were more financially independent and in positions of power were more likely to be unfaithful to their partners. Another study found that when the tendency to engage in risky behaviors was controlled for, there was no gender difference in the likelihood of being unfaithful.

Why do people cheat?

People cheat for a variety of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with sex. In addition to being sexually unsatisfied in a relationship, being emotionally unsatisfied in the relationship, a lack of communication and understanding within the relationship, feelings of being disconnected from their partner, and a need for affirmation or an ego boost can lead people to cheat. Men may also cheat "because they can"- it's socially and culturally permitted (and expected) in a way that it isn't for women.

Some researchers theorize that the discrepancy between male and female levels of cheating may in part have to do with culturally influenced sexual attachment styles. More men are reported to have insecure, dismissing, avoidant attachment styles, where they attempt to minimize their emotional experiences, deny their need for intimacy, and maintain their autonomy, which can lead to more sexually promiscuous behavior than their counterparts with other attachment styles. Individuals who grew up in an environment where cheating was common are more likely to cheat themselves.

Some genetic predictors for cheating have also been suggested, although more research needs to be done in this arena. A 2015 study found a correlation between expression of the AVPR1A and predisposition to infidelity in women, but not in men. People with a genetic variation of the DRD4 gene called 7R+ were more likely to engage in "thrill seeking behavior", including infidelity. However, gender doesn't play a role in genetic variation- a similar number of men and women have the 7R+ mutation.

Are some people incapable of being loyal?

The short answer is no. Plenty of people have maladaptive attachment styles or genetic predispositions to negative behaviors, but that doesn't mean that they're bound by those factors. For example, plenty of people are genetically predisposed towards alcoholism, but only a small percentage of those people actually become alcoholics, and about 35.9% of those people recover from their alcoholism within a year. Other factors are always at play. Even if you take the evolutionary psychology view that men will always cheat because "that's what they're designed to do" (which...you shouldn't take that view. Evolutionary psychology is an incredibly controversial field, and even within it there's a ton of debate on this topic), humans do all sorts of things every day that we're not "designed" to do. We live in cities and work 40 hour a week jobs and watch TikTok. None of that is "natural", but it doesn't necessarily mean that we shouldn't be doing it. And on the flip side, there are all sorts of "unnatural" things that are good for us. Modern medicine is great. To create an even more literal parallel, tons of people are vegetarians- between 1.2% and 39%, depending on the country- even though meat is readily available and we're "designed" to be carnivorous. The decisions that we make are a product of all sorts of factors, not just biology.

Wrapping Up

People are just people. They're complicated and they want different things, regardless of sexual identity or gender. But ultimately, we have a choice in what we do and don't do. The only real rules are that we should express our needs to any partner(s) that we have, and to be honest with them about what we want. The only thing that's not okay is crossing your partner's boundaries.

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oonajaeadira · 3 years ago

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I'm reading chapter 4 of LMR where Din talks about eating challenges due to wearing a helmet.

That got me to thinking that all Mandalorians must be taught basic dentistry since they can't go to the dentist. Either that, or they don't get dental care which is an idea that I can't entertain. So in my universe, along with the Resol'nare, fighting, and weaponry, Mandalorians are also taught dentistry.

(This is the shit my brain comes up with when I've only slept for 3.5 hours.)

LOL! And maybe haircutting?

Although, in Mandalorian culture, foundlings are a big part of the culture...and they don't have to be human. So there may be some that don't have teeth or some that have other non-human related issues (take Plo-Kloon's case or the Ithorians). I don't even know where to start with those.

But yeah, I think that could be a thing for sure. Or maybe there's some weird loophole that allows dentists to see their face? Or some weird rubber mask with a hole?

I DON'T KNOW.....

#mandalorian dentistry

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bepatientandpersistent · 3 years ago

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Oh boy. I've been going, going, going, all day. Just kept moving so I didn't fall asleep. I only slept 3.5 hours last night. I worked 7am-1:15pm, went to my school for my books (!!!), went to Walmart for a few things, found a new desk for $20 and desk chair for $25 (also !!!), went to see mom and take her food, and then came home. I unloaded my car, chatted with my family for a bit, and then put my desk chair together. I need to put the desk together but now I've been sitting down for a few minutes and I can feel that my energy is just gone. I can't decide if I wanna push myself to get up and do it or if I should give in and rest for a while. I know which one I'm leaning towards... 😴😴😴

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chuck-leglerg · 2 years ago

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My conclusion of my first gp: it's good, but is it really worth all those things I've gone through?

Is meeting the drivers fun? Definitely, this is literally the only thing that makes me wake up at 4:30 every morning.

Is the atmosphere good? Definitely, I can't remember how many times we did the "Pierre Gasly" and it's always great fun. The emotion and the passion is unbelievable!!

Is watching the race on circuits fun? Highly dependent on where you choose to sit, and you can see the cars for maximum 3 seconds each lap at best...

But the other side of this?

1. The physical pain: walking 10km+ on rocky, dusty terrain every day and standing for long hours has really made me miserable. RIP my newly recovered knees.

2. The sleep deprivation: I used public transport as my means of transportation so my timetable is quite rigid. If I want to arrive early to see the drivers I have to board the earliest train at 6 or 6:30 am, so I have to wake up at 4:30 am :) and because of the problem with shuttle bus and traffic I normally arrive at my hotel at 10:30 pm if not later :) So I slept roughly 3.5 hours every night. The opening line between my friend and I after each FP session is "did you doozed off?" and the answer is normally "yes' :)

3. Access to food. I wish someone had told me that I should prepare at least 3-4 days of food. Nothing opens at 6am and almost everything closes at 10pm so I had very few choices for food. I got McDonald's for dinner if it's still open :) If it's closed I get vending machine food and called mini Madeleines, KitKat and Tropicana "dinner". Also huge queues for food in the circuit. If I'm lucky I can get a salad, if not... yesterday I shared a protein bar with my starving friend and today I called a pistachio ice cream "lunch" :)

4. Things can go wrong. Like my shuttle bus went to a wrong route, we circulated in the mountains for two hours and in the end we still had to walk 5km to go to where we should be. Or waiting for shuttle bus for 2 hours because of some incidents on the exit. It just happens. Makes you question your decision to come here cuz it's supposed to be fun until it's not:)

In the end I just want you to realize what it really is like to go to a grand prix, the good the bad the ugly. Definitely not always fun and games, and it's really important to be well prepared. I wish you have as much fun as I did and a lot fewer problems than I had :D

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chronicillnessproblems · 7 years ago

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I'm sorry, I don't really understand the "usable hours" post, could you help me understand? Why would someone only have 10 usable hours if those hours include work? Like if you work a 9-5, that's 8 of your 10 usable hours. Does that mean you go to sleep 2 hours after getting off work so that you can get 14 hours of sleep? I've never heard of someone needing 14 hours of sleep every day. Is there something I'm not getting as to why someone would only have 10, or even 6-8 usable hours a day?

Ok well, this is a spoonie blog, so by saying “I’ve never heard of someone needing 14 hours of sleep” I’m not sure if you’re missing where I said in my comments on the post that I often sleep 16+ hours a day, because I am disabled, have many illnesses making me fatigued in ways no one can figure out how to explain let alone fix, and so I’m thinking you might not be understanding the disability aspect of this, in which case I’d encourage you to read the original Spoon Theory which is still the best quick link for that I have. If you’re actually just questioning healthy people needing 14 hours of sleep, I think that you’re right, and the 10 hours is probably just a number being thrown around, and it’s too low, since many people work more than that especially when you add in commuting. Based on my dad who is the abled person I know best, I’d say the average abled person has a lot more usable hours a day. He probably works about 10 hours, also cooks and has time for cleaning and personal hygiene, and sometimes has a social life during the week as well. He’ll spend some time relaxing, but I’d say he spends 8 hrs a night sleeping max, and his time spent otherwise recovering/relaxing is only about 2 hours, which leaves him with 14 productive, “usable” hours most days. (In the doctor’s defense, maybe they were not counting things like basic cooking/eating and personal hygiene towards usable hours. Work 8 hrs + commute 1 hr + 1 hr for phone calls/errands/cleaning is still low, but not entirely unreasonable.)Whereas for example yesterday I slept about 15 hours, spent about 1 hour on personal hygiene, 1 hour feeding/caring for my pets, 2 hours working on schoolwork, 1 hour talking to friends online, maybe 30 minutes cooking my own food, and needed the other 3.5 hours resting or recovering between doing those things, meaning my “usable” hours were only 5.5 (and that’s if you count the chatting online as “usable.”)

But the general concept still stands- that it is useful to have a way for explaining to doctors/abled people that we may exist during the same 24 hours a day they do, but we need to sleep and recover more than the average person so we’re only productive in a small number of those hours compared to what a non-disabled person can do. Maybe thinking in terms of “productive hours” would be more helpful for you than “usable?”

#anon #jenna answers things

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allsystemsarenotgo · 4 years ago

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Emotions, Emotions, Oh how they suck....

I promised (though not directly) my friend that if I was ever worried, I’d contact the campus police, her roommate, or check on her myself.

I executed this promise.

My friend was taken very aside by it. But at least I know she is okay.

And now I’ve gotten myself into a mess. I had a dedicated hour session with my counselor tonight, and all that did was make me feel like shit.

I'm going to pour a bucket out... Idk how this is going to spill.

I hated having to go to her dorm Thursday night. But she hadn't sent me a message since Saturday nor read any since Monday. I had made a promise with her that if she ever made me concerned, that I would show up and check on her myself. I've had three (technically 3.5?) Police welfare checks sent on me, I know how painful they are, and don't want to put her through that. I kept that promise. I understand the making her feel uncomfortable. It's still way more comfortable than an official check.

I'd love to know how her boyfriend's mom got involved. I'm glad she didn't block me at their request, but really? Not even offering a chance to explain? Just cold-ghosting a really close family friend because that's what your boyfriend and his mom want?

She hid me from her boyfriend for so long. I told her a long time ago that he needed to know I existed so that our powers could be balanced and he not see me as a threat. Instead, way down the road, it's "Hey, I've been talking to a guy for the least few months almost daily, and he came over to my dorm to help me study and have me a massage and we went out to dinner". Well, of course he is going to hate me!

I can understand some of the conflict in her mind. When I came to see her on Dec4, she realized that the love she craves and was having withdrawls from, is available from more than just her boyfriend. She didn't cognitively acknowledge that realization, she was being loved on and liked it.

It wasn't intimacy or physical love. It was feeling another person's touch, spending time with them, laughing with them, having intellectual conversations with them.

And I can see how that would split her heart between two love sources. Even when one wasn't intended to convey that level of love.

I scrolled back through her and I's chat long back to October 1 yesterday. Seeing some of the things she said about how much she cares(s/d) about me, how I made her happy, how important we were/are to eachother, how I may be the only voice of reason that has allowed her to still be alive after her emotional fallout and suicidal kick in September. Part of me thinks that maybe she was growing feeling roots but wasn't aware of it.

And maybe, now those roots are starting to sprout above the surface and that is what has caused her this discomfort, especially after my visit Dec4.

I invited her to {married friends}'s groupnight on Dec11. I knew she was conflicted because she's not a very social person (like me) but also wanted to be around a bunch of smart people. But she did attend. But she spent the first hour standing in a corner reclused, having to pacify her boyfriend who didn't understand why she was at a stranger's house, much less older people. He said it was stupid and pointless for her to be there just to meet people/socialize/relax. She enjoyed being herself once a stage-hook pulled her out of that corner.

She felt more distant after that night, though we did still talk. She spent 2.5 weeks at her grandma's ranch with no cell service, so she didn't get to talk to either her boyfriend or myself for most of that period - sometimes she could get signal to send a one-liner every now and then.

When she came back to her parents' house, I was invited over for dinner Jan15. She seemed excited and happy to see me, and even took me to feed her horses with her just for the time together. Then we had dinner and played card games. But then she was on her phone again, having to pacify her boyfriend, who didn't understand why I was at their house, engaging with her and her parents, and calling me alot of nouns and adjectives.

After her parents went to bed, they allowed her and I to stay up as late as we wanted. We did talk for a little while. But she ended up shooing me out of the house at her boyfriend's request so that he could call her. Later, she said it felt wierd that I was being given an open curfew when they make her and her boyfriend obey a specific curfew.

She didn't know how to process this "unfair treatment" that comes with the territory of being a friend and trustworthy.

I'm not saying that I have been perfect through all of this. I may not know the pain, but I at least have a general idea of how I think her heart is feeling.

After I left her dorm at her request (she didn't want to see me in person, politely told me she is stable and for me to leave, so I did), she did chat to me a little more. That she just needs time to comprehend her heart, to figure out how to balance me and her boyfriend co-existing, to evaluate herself. That she still cares about me but doesn't know how to process it.

She ended Thursday night with "I don't want to lose this friendship, but I can't lose Brayden either...I just need to figure this out..."

I felt and slept better, knowing that she was at least stable and cognitive.

Then she sent this to me Friday at 10:30, after her counseling appointment.

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paradoxcoronum · 4 years ago

Conversation

ParadoxbyCoronum Twitter 8/17/2020

ParadoxbyCoronum: Hi de dee hi hi!

Rose: Hello~

ParadoxbyCoronum: :D

Rose: How are you today? I missed talking with you.

ParadoxbyCoronum: I mean... I just woke up a short bit ago, but so far so good!!

Rose: I'm jealous. I've been up for 5 hours now. I hope you slept well!!

ParadoxbyCoronum: I kinda didn’t! But I’m four cups of coffee in so! I’m good!

Rose: We need to start alternating with water so we don't get dehydrated. And I'm sorry you didn't sleep well. Was it nightmares? Not used to where you were sleeping? Or worry about other things?

ParadoxbyCoronum: Every time I would get close to falling asleep last night, something would wake me up! Scratching at the windows, yelling outside, that kind of thing!

ParadoxbyCoronum: Do I reeeeaaaally need water though?

Rose: Aw, I'm sorry. That sounds absolutely miserable. I've been using white noise machines myself to try and drown out noises. My upstairs neighbors don't observe quiet hours. And yes. At least some. And water in ice cubes to cool your coffee doesn't count.

ParadoxbyCoronum: Normally I just listen to music, but I didn’t want to disturb Lynn!

ParadoxbyCoronum: But ice is water though! :(

Rose: Ice is water, but it's not enough for how much caffeine we're drinking. We should have some more.

Rose: And maybe if you play the music on a low volume that would be okay? I'm sure she'd understand.

ParadoxbyCoronum: I guess? I’ll ask her tonight about it!!

Rose: If she says no, we can come up with another plan!

ParadoxbyCoronum: Okay, sounds good!

Rose: But please drink some water. And eat something. Your body will thank you, I promise.

ParadoxbyCoronum: :(

Rose: I say this because I care, Ray. I want you to be healthy and happy and be able to kick so much ass

ParadoxbyCoronum: Fiiiiine, I’ll get a water bottle.

ParadoxbyCoronum: Thank youuuuuu Purple heart Purple heart Purple heart

ParadoxbyCoronum: Okay, i now have ten litres of water!

Rose: Wait. 10 litres? That's....

Rose: Isn't that a lot?

Rose: Ray, you don't do things by halves, do you?

ParadoxbyCoronum: You want me to have five litres of water??

Rose: I want you to drink a healthy amount of water omg

Rose: I was willing to start small with you. Like I don't know. maybe a litre or two

Rose: Here you come with 10 litres

ParadoxbyCoronum: Oh.

ParadoxbyCoronum: Well.

ParadoxbyCoronum: Uh.

ParadoxbyCoronum: ...wooo hydration?

Rose: Woo hydration indeed

ParadoxbyCoronum: So... 10 litres isn’t healthy?

Rose: It's a lot. Let me double check the healthiness of it (healthiness totally is a word, I made it up just now).

Rose: Did you know if you drink too much water you can basically drown yourself?

Rose: So healthy amount of water is about 3.5 liters a day

ParadoxbyCoronum: :o

ParadoxbyCoronum: ...so I should put this jug back?

Rose: Yeah, let's start with a smaller container.

ParadoxbyCoronum: Okay!

ParadoxbyCoronum: I was wondering how I was going to drink out of this thing.

Rose: Did

Rose: Did you just steal like, the water cooler jug of water?

ParadoxbyCoronum: I didn’t steal it!

ParadoxbyCoronum: It was just... sitting there!

Rose:You could get a cup and get water from the water cooler? And it gives you an excuse to get up from your desk.

Rose:Also aren't those heavy af? How did you lift it?

ParadoxbyCoronum: With a lot of effort!

ParadoxbyCoronum: Like, a lot of effort.

ParadoxbyCoronum: And a trolley.

ParadoxbyCoronum: But yes, I’ll find a cup somewhere!

Rose: Mad props, Ray. And thanks for putting up with me worrying about you.

ParadoxbyCoronum: You aren’t the first person to tell me to drink water!!

Rose: I figured as much, but like. I don't want to be an overbearing friend/acquaintance/random person on the internet. I can be rather demanding when it comes to making sure people are okay. So uh, if so, please feel free to let me know if I need to stop.

ParadoxbyCoronum: I will!! But right now, I don’t think you’ve done anything wrong!

Rose:

#August #17 #2020 #twitter #direct message #Ray Schultz #Ray #Rose #ARG #Paradox #Coronum #Alternate Reality Game

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