#also I've always wanted to write a transformation pen fic

[nyxocity]

Hi Nyx,

I just wanted to write a quick message letting you know how much I adore seeing you here. I've been a fan of Supernatural for a long time, but it's only been in the past couple of years that I've really read SPN fanfiction or engaged with the fandom in any conceivable way, and it's something I wish I'd done a lot sooner. There are so many amazing recommendations for fics on LiveJournal that just aren't around anymore, and unfortunately, the Wayback Machine only captures a very small fraction of them (although shoutout to people who were saving webpages back in 2008!!!). That's part of the reason why I'm so grateful to see you around. As lovely as it is watching new people build their own castles in the sandbox of a piece of media I love, there's something so incredibly warm and cozy and joyful about seeing a familiar username pop up on A03 or Tumblr. It's kind of like coming home, if you know what I mean :) Fandom (any fandom, really, but SPN is near the top of that list) can be exhausting and disheartening and toxic, just as much as it can be exhilarating and uplifting and transformative, and while I'm sure that as someone who's been in this space for a long time, you've most definitely encountered an unreasonable amount of the former, I'm ridiculously glad you're still writing. Because to me, you are a part of what makes the SPN fandom such a wonderful place to be in :)

Oh, and besides that, have I mentioned how much I love your writing? Because I love, love, LOVE it. All your fics are so diverse, I have no idea how you come up with the plot sometimes (especially the current one, UGH I'm dying just thinking about it!!). But no matter how complicated or simple the story, there's something so heartfelt and tender in each one, with beautiful angst and the kind of witty humour that makes me want to reach for a pen and take physical notes—not that I end up doing that because then the hot sexiness comes in and I lose all coherent thought ｡^‿^｡ Speaking of which, your characterization of Dean and Sam is EXACTLY how I see them, too (including Top Dean/Jensen which is absolutely delicious and I so wish there was more of that in the fandom) and ohmygod I don't know whether to love you or hate you for making me read RPF, the one thing I thought I'd never be okay with, but how can I resist when your stories are so enticing?????

(Oh, and speaking of RPF, I also love your characterization of Chad whenever you incorporate him in your stories. Every time I see him on screen I know it's going to be a good time :) It's kind of funny because I know virtually nothing about the actor in real life outside of his character from One Tree Hill, but from my limited knowledge it seems to me that a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, all the authors in the CW RPF fandom got together and unanimously decided to make him a secretly smart but also complete buffoon-headed slut (in the best way) and I just have to know how that all started. Do you have any insight?)

Okay, this message is getting seriously long and cheesy, so I'm going to wrap it up now before I start proposing (although if you're willing to join me in the land of maple syrup and hockey, I will happily get down on one knee with a ring pop), but I just really wanted to let you know how much your work means me to me and how much of an inspiration it's been. I hope to one day be capable of writing fanfic as incredible as you can, and that the depth of my love for the things I enjoy will shine through my writing in the same way yours does.

Thank you so much for always putting a smile on my face (or making me cry because the angst is just that good) and I wish you all the best in life, the universe, and everything ♡♡♡

Love,

IllusionalOptics

Oh my gosh this is so much love! Wow, thank you so much for this, you made my whole week!

Honestly, I can't believe I'm still here in SPN fandom. Back in the LJ days, usually when a show ended the fandom died shortly thereafter. And a show that went on as long as SPN did means a lot of people moved on to other fandoms anyway. So I'm thrilled to still be here, playing in this sandbox. No way I would have called that back in 2007 when I first fell into this fandom. And yes, I've seen a lot of vitriol over the years, some of it slung directly at me, though not in a long time. I'm here to have fun and enjoy fandom and I refuse to let anyone drive me away from it. No one gets to take away my joy.

I'm so honored and humbled that people are still finding and reading my stories to this day--especially newer fans! Thank you so much for your lovely, amazing, wonderful comments about my writing! It's funny because I usually start out with a simple idea for the plot and then it just becomes so incredibly complex and complicated lol For Retroactive, my current story, I knew the plot was going to be exceptionally complicated, and I don't know why my brain does this to me. It's like, hey you've written so many things, this time, let's make it EXTRA DIFFICULT! This story is by far the hardest one I've done yet. And I feel like I say that every time I write a new one, unless it's just a romance piece.

So happy that my Sam and Dean match your interpretation. Everyone (not just writers) kinda has their way of seeing the characters. I try to to stay true as I can to canon characterization, but there's always my personal filter on it that I can't separate out. So it makes me happy that it matches yours!

Hahaha. Okay, so you should probably love me for making you read RPF because some of it is just ASTOUNDINGLY good as they tend to be original stories with the actors playing the parts. But real talk, RPF was a big NO for me in the beginning, too--hell, Wincest was gigantic NO for me in the beginning lol, but I tried to draw a line at RPF. And after I wrote Like Staring Into the Sun I was in a chat with two friends who basically decided I was going to write this RPF story about a teacher Jensen and a student Jared. I resisted for like an hour or more. And eventually they convinced me. But Then My Homework Was Never Quite Like This was my first RPF fic. And I was just finally like, welp, I'm already shipping Wincest so here we go I guess lol So yeah, I hear you. I live my life mostly line free these days though. SPN fandom will do that to you.

Oh my god I love writing Chad. He's a bit different in every story I do but he retains some core characteristics. Ooooh, I get to impart some fandom elder knowledge lol So, back when I wrote the original Homework verse story, there was this tendency in fics to make Chad kinda dumb and/or gross and/or a dick. Often, he was a douchebag. He was funny, but a lot of times not in a GOOD way, I guess? So when I wrote the first Homework story (2008), I decided I wanted to make him smart, but in like, the most ridiculous roundabout way, so he'd still be funny. I can't say I started it, but I was definitely way ahead on the trend for smart Chad. Back in the day there was a lot of talk about him IRL being kind of a dick, a sleazebag and sleeping around, and though I don't remember if there was confirmation, a lot of people talked about him cheating on Sophia being the reason their marriage ended. I can't confirm any of that but I remember it was the talk at the time. So a lot of people took pieces from these things and ran with them and the fic version of Chad was created as kind of a dick and a douchebag and usually Jared's best friend (because of them living together IRL for a while) and the comic relief. It seems to have morphed some over time, which is good, because RL Chad seems to have grown up and to be a good person at this point in his life.

I wanted to talk about top Jensen and Top Dean, too, but this is getting so long lol Just know that back in 2008, 90% of fic was Top Jared and Top Sam, and my understanding is that that's now shifted and rebalanced the other way, to like 90% Top Jensen and Dean now. Although maybe it has shifted again in the last five years to be more balanced, Idk. I don't read fic like I used to.

Anyway, seriously, thank you SO SO SO SO MUCH for this. It means so much to me that you took the time to write all this out to me. Thank you for telling me all these things and for sending me so much love! Sending love right back at you! And feel free to ask me anything, any time! <3<3<3

[imperatorrrrr]

Talk Hockey To Me

I was tagged by @stereax and @mikathemad :)

Tell me about:

1. The thing that got you hooked on hockey:

Okay, this is a little embarrassing. In the fifth grade around the year 1999, I liked a boy and that boy liked hockey, so in an effort to have shared interests with said boy, I checked out the New Jersey Devils and the rest is basically history. The boy is absolutely long gone, hahaha, but the Devils are here to fucking stay. I got into them right before their two Cup wins and in the era of Scott Stevens, Patrik Elias, John Madden and the love of my child life, Brian Rafalski. I've been a Devils fans for like over twenty years now. I'd say in the past decade I've started to check out other teams (Pens, Canucks, Avs, Stars), but I'm a one team girl at heart.

2. Your first ever fandom friend

So in the Devils Tumblr fandom, I'd say @jonassiegenthighler I think I just finally came off anon in their inbox and it began.

3. The jersey you would most like to own

Okay, so I already have a pretty decent collection of jerseys, but I think I'd like a Nico Pride Jersey, but I know I'll never get one 'cause the bids for the star players are always way more than I budget for myself or if the Devils ever do a specialty South Asian Heritage Jersey I'd take literally any player's (except Smith's). But let's be honest, I need a Sid jersey for fucking sure. I also don't have the Jersey Jersey yet, so I need to get that.

4. YOUR player (you only get ONE so choose wisely)

Eassssssy. It's Nico Hischier.

5. A pairing that deserves more fic

@stereax stole my answer. Its NicoJesp, for sure. I say this all the time. Before Nico put his arms around Jack on center ice, before Siegs was cooking for Nico and they were cohabiting, it was Nico and Jesp. They've been through coaches, through GMs, through players coming and going. It's them.

6. Your favorite on-ice moment

Oh, this one is a hard fucking question.

Ugh, this is actually so fucking hard, what the fuck.

Okay, I'm picking this: after the shutout win against the Avs back in late October last season right near the beginning of the thirteen game heater when Nico looks out into the crowd and scream's LET'S GO.

THEN

link someone else's art/fic/etc that you love & think everyone should check out

I will pick four.

@kmercer's art. like come the fuck on, you've got to be kidding me with this

2. @stereax's Kingdom Poetry Series about each of the 2022-2023 Devils

3. @jonasiegenthaler's art always hits the damn mark, always.

4. My favorite NicoJack fic of all time. Seriously, all time.

kiss me on the mouth (set me free) by coastalhighway

AND

link something you made & are proud of & want people to see

Soz, I don't have anything. I haven't written fic in a decade and I have no artistic skill whatsoever, but one day I'll write fic again and when I do I'll share it with the masses.

tagging: @jonasiegenthaler @dawson-mercer and @jakejuentzel

[floraone]

MIDNIGHT, MIDNIGHT! So here I go starting with Day 3: Items and have Usagi run a little havoc in her massive freak-out lol?

ANYWAY I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS CHAPTER LOL. Hopefully you agree, lol. (Yep she can be creepy and that is canon, my friends.)

Ao3 link for those that prefer to read over there!

[fkevin073]

I posted 80 times in 2021

57 posts created (71%)

23 posts reblogged (29%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.4 posts.

I added 269 tags in 2021

#fear street - 58 posts

#nick goode - 56 posts

#ziggy x nick - 55 posts

#ziggy berman - 51 posts

#nick x ziggy - 34 posts

#darklina - 4 posts

#shadow and bone - 4 posts

#fearstreetedit - 3 posts

#elite - 2 posts

#carmuel - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 95 characters

#when all u want to do is read books and stalk ur high school crush but you have a devil pact :(

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV), Fear Street Series - R. L. Stine Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Nick Goode Characters: Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Nick Goode (Fear Street), Original Characters, Deena Johnson, Josh Johnson (Fear Street), Samantha "Sam" Fraser (Fear Street), Cindy Berman (Fear Street) Additional Tags: pregnancy au, what if nick and Ziggy had a baby, Angst, accidentally have a baby with the guy who has a devil pact :(, Sex, both Ziggy and Nick are emotionally stunted, i don't make the rules, we love a badass mom and murderous dad, Ziggy is more morally ambiguous in this fic, though not totally evil, Nick Goode is a simp, Secret Relationship Summary:

It’s November 1988, and Ziggy is staring down at two little pink lines.

ahh I hope u guys like this second chapter! let me know what you think ❤️

34 notes • Posted 2021-10-09 05:26:45 GMT

#4

Ever had an AU idea that made you go "This would be amazing...if someone else did it." But no one does it! And you just go crazy?

LOL omg yes definitely there are a lot of AU’s that have gone through my mind or I’ve seen that I was like omg yeah that’s fantastic. I think my favourite ones to read so far are the fics that I never even thought about. Like there’s this really great one shot on ao3 about Ziggy catching Nick in the middle of the sacrifice at Nightwing and then she turns evil with him. that one’s great. I didn’t think I could pull something like that off and the author did it amazingly. 

But in terms of other ideas: 

- there’s the AU we talked about a few days ago that I thought was great. Would love it if someone explored that. 

- I had an idea of there being a time-loop. So Nick is stuck replaying Nightwing over and over again until eventually the loop breaks (maybe Ziggy gets caught in the loop with him? after he’s been through it a few hundred times). My idea was that Nick would have to kill himself or reunite the hand with the body for it to end. I heard of a few other people thinking about doing a fic like that so I was like yay and then nothing came of it. 

- a gender-swapped Nick/Ziggy fic. I think that analyzing the gender-dynamics of that flip would be cool, though I don’t know how the specifics would work or if the dynamic would be too altered

- there’s also a fic idea I'm developing now (inspired by someone’s comment on one of my stories) where Nick tells Ziggy the truth right after the massacre and then they just leave Sunnyvale. like a super fucked up and toxic relationship where Ziggy just feels helpless to do anything and just takes his hand. this may or may not come to fruition. idk I have a lot going on already

- After I posted “the last great American dynasty” a lot of people talked about writing their own “Ready or Not” Au’s. If you haven’t watched it it’s a great movie about a rich family that also has a secret, murderous satanic pact. it’s great :) I really liked the ideas those other users had. 

- another AU where Nick and Ziggy are childhood pen-pals, but I’m thinking about working on that one. still deciding if the pact should exist in it or not.

- this isn’t about Nick/Ziggy specifically, but I've always been intrigued by the idea of Sarah Fier actually being the one behind the curse. like the plot twist is so great and works well thematically, but when I watched that scene with her and Hannah being like I’ll make a deal and we can get out of here I understood where she was coming from. So like making Sarah Fier a sympathetic person whose deal just went way out of control and had consequences she didn't forsee

- this has been discussed by others on this app, but I like the idea of Nick/Ziggy being ghost hunters like the Warrens in the Conjuring. You could even make it like a buzzed unsolved romance/modern type setting. 

- another idea I had was that Nick’s dad made a second sacrifice after Ruby but before he died and Ziggy’s family was wiped out so the Goodes take her in “out of the goodness of their hearts” since she has no next of kin and her and Nick get into all kinds of trouble. 

wow okay I need to stop this is already way way too long sorry! I'd love to hear what your thoughts are 

35 notes • Posted 2021-11-18 22:59:19 GMT

#3

Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: Fear Street Trilogy (TV), Fear Street Series - R. L. Stine Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Christine "Ziggy" Berman/Nick Goode Characters: Nick Goode (Fear Street), Christine "Ziggy" Berman, Will Goode (Fear Street), Cindy Berman (Fear Street), Deena Johnson, Sarah Fier (Fear Street), Hannah Miller (Fear Street) Additional Tags: Violence, Alternative Universe - FBI, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Romance, First Love, Tragedy, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, ??? - Freeform Summary:

Nick Goode was born the second son.

(It makes all the difference in the world)

38 notes • Posted 2021-07-23 05:35:49 GMT

#2

okay, so we all wished we had gotten more content of ashley as adult nick, so if there had been like a deleted scene or just one extra scene, what would you have liked to have seen? like, what kind of scene would have given you some real insight into this guy? lol

(this question is actually really hard bc we couldn't really see much of nick since the twist that he was evil had to be protected but let's pretend that doesn't matter lol)

okay omg this is such a good question I will proceed with an essay because I thought about this for far too long than I should have: 

before we get to adult Nick, I want to talk about scenes I wished we saw in ‘78 with Ted, because I still have a lot of questions about younger Nick: 

1. interactions with Nick and the other counsellors (beside Kurt). I think a big question we all have is why he said Tommy’s name. Like he knew Tommy, obviously, so seeing them interact (esp Nick with Cindy, maybe her giving him a bit of the side eye because she caught him staring at Ziggy) would have added an interesting dynamic to his character, esp with what we know later

2. nick visiting Ziggy in the hospital after Nightwing, and seeing her tell him to fuck off and how he tries to justify himself for not backing her up. I don’t have much reason for that scene other than it’s angsty and I thought Ted/Sadie had really good chemistry. just for the angst (and also seeing how Nick works after the massacre would have been cool)

okay, now onto Ashley and adult Nick. This was a lot harder to come up with: 

1. I just watched 1666 recently, and it never made sense to me why Nick went straight to the site of Sarah Fier’s body. Did he just see the kids there on his way to Ziggy’s and stopped? did he know her body was there and was ready to kill them? anyway, seeing Nick go to Ziggy’s first and seeing them interact would have been cool. Like we know nick slipped Ziggy that note so he could weasel his way back into her life, so seeing him interact with her and act contrite/heroic before going to “help” the kids would have been cool. I also just think Ashley/Gillian should have had more scenes together (also, how did he know where she lived? like they must have had some kind of interaction in the intervening years. even if Ziggy stayed in her childhood home and never moved at all, how would he know?)

2. scenes with adult nick and will. I love how we all agree that Nick just thinks Will is an idiot. Like he does not care for his brother at all. But it would have been interesting to see Nick navigate the Sunnyvale social setting and have that comparison with adult Nick and how young Nick acted with Ziggy, just to emphasize how he became everything he didn’t want to be when he was a kid. Ashley had a interview where he said that Nick is just a really lonely, miserable guy, so seeing Nick just not giving a fuck about Sunnyvale and idiotic business men would have been cool

3. I think another interesting point would have been the kids realizing that the local boy who saved C. Berman was Nick and have them confront him about witnessing a massacre in 1994 part one. Like a) I think that would have caught him off guard and b) I think that was probably the worst night of Nick’s life (which obviously doesn’t mean shit considering it's all his fault) but seeing how Nick responds to the reminder that he saved Ziggy (and only Ziggy) would have been interesting

4. more of a confrontation with Nick and Ziggy in the final showdown. Ashley’s expressions as he walks through the mall before finally reaching Ziggy convey so much regret, tenderness and apprehension after looking so utterly evil and ready to kill. I love that scene, but I wish more had been said. Like Nick trying to justify himself and Ziggy just asking what the fuck happened to you or you betrayed me and nick just being his idiotic self like Ziggy I love you or something.

this is all I can think of for now! I’d love to hear what you all think! 

56 notes • Posted 2021-11-18 04:50:00 GMT

#1

Okay, so I'm thinking about the Mafia AU and I only have an inciting incident: Ziggy steals from Sheila and gets away quietly with Nick letting her go. He makes a joke (kind of) that he would like to have dinner with her.

Later on, he goes after a theft ring that's trying to muscle in on Goode territory. They go after everyone, but it turns out that Ziggy was working for them as well. So Nick decides to let her go again but this time he has to actively keep her safe because her connection with these people got a target on her.

Thoughts?

oouu this is interesting!!

I like the idea of Nick catching Ziggy stealing from Sheila, especially because it mirrors canon where he defends her at the Hanging Tree. I like the idea of Ziggy rebelliously keeping her hair long (because women in the 20s/early 30s kept it short, I think) and Sheila about to razor it off as punishment for catching Ziggy stealing and Nick just walks into the room and is like yeah, nope not gonna happen.

Maybe he escorts her off the grounds/walks her to her house because he's such a "gentleman". He's really charmed by her, actually, (maybe he's seen her before? I like the idea of Nick pining over Ziggy from afar like it was hinted at in Nightwing, but I'm not too sure how well that works in this AU) and feels strangely protective over her, which is ironic because a) she's Ziggy and b) Nick rarely feels protective over anyone.

And yeah, I think Ziggy would definitely be working around for other gangs stealing things for them to help support her family during the depression. I like the idea that when Nick finds out he says to his associates just leave her alone. Like a no-contact/harm order and all his underlings are like uhh why are we leaving this street rat alone?

But everyone who so much as looks at Ziggy wrong magically ✨disappears ✨ and soon the message is sent even if Nick is too chicken shit to actually talk to her (or court her, I think that's the proper term).

I think maybe Ziggy catches on because her criminal associates start to refuse associating with her and eventually she pressures/threatens someone into telling her why, and she is not having it. She doesn't give a shit if Nick's the King of Sunnyvale or whatever and this wealthy, powerful guy. She goes and confronts him - maybe corners him an alley with a gun, because why not - and he legit is just like can I take you out for dinner, but seriously this time.

Ziggy is so shocked she almost shoots him. There's a bit of back and forth I think but eventually it kind of just happens.

What do you think - should devil pact be a part of it? I know we all like the angst of it. I'm undecided for this AU though, not gonna lie. Maybe some smaller variation of it, where the Goodes recruit people to "sacrifice" themselves to Satan (with no resulting massacre) in return for the Goodes financially supporting their families and making sure they don't starve.

I think during the depression, especially, many would be willing to take up the offer. But who knows? I'm curious to hear what you think.

73 notes • Posted 2021-12-06 03:38:56 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[spicycreativity]

Fanfic Appreciation Week Day 7: A Place Where I Can Breathe

Yes, folks, I'm appreciating my own darn fanfic for the final day of Fanfic Appreciation Week because I worked really hard on it and it was a labor of love for/with one of my QPPs, my roommate, the man who got me into Sanders Sides: @\cadeorade-powercade (That's him in the aesthetic board)

Allow me to present the director's commentary for A Place Where I Can Breathe:

Content Warnings: All content warnings mentioned in the fic apply.

Chapter 1: I actually wrote this fairly late in the game. It's meant to serve as a prologue and orient the viewer in the universe, s opposed to staring on Chapter 2, which just throws the viewer in without context. I think it was a good choice, as it also allowed me to introduce the concept of the Sides having power focuses early on.

The Premise: Cade is a Virgil stan and he was getting frustrated looking for Virgil fic. He was finding a lot of stuff written without nuance by young authors, a sort of "by teenagers for teenagers" type deal. We are not teenagers, so we both have a hard time relating to that kind of teen angst fic, as we're not the target audience. So he asked me to write him a Virgil fic and we worked together to identify what plot he wanted, what the Mindscape looked like, and what quirks the Sides have. So a lot of this fic is quite gratuitous and self-indulgent

The Title: Lizzie McAlpine has a song called "Apple Pie" which includes the lyric "I've been running around trying to find a place where I can breathe." Apple Pie SCREAMS Moceit to me, and I had taken notice of the lyric and wanted to use it as the title for a Moceit fic. I didn't really have an idea beyond that, and when Cade asked me to write this fic, I realized it was actually perfect and summed up Virgil's inner struggle quite nicely. So cheers to "A Place Where I Can Breathe," the Moceit Fic That Wasn't

-Cade asked me specifically to include Virgil having a spider and I wrote nearly the whole fic without doing so, then had to go back and sprinkle some references in. I think I managed 2 total.

Chapter 2:

"Uh, how about I hold off on that until I actually see my room?" Virgil stared expectantly at Roman, who bounced on his toes. "Lead on, Macduff."

"That's not the line and you know it," Roman complained, but he turned to lead Virgil to his room. "It's ' lay on, Macduff,' and--"

-This fic was originally supposed to reach a climax with a confrontation between Remus and Roman, and "lay on, Macduff" would come back as a brick joke. Unfortunately, the original ending was a result of me getting tired and lazy, so I had to go back and fix it, and we lost the Roman-Remus confrontation.

It was hard for Virgil to not shudder at the sudden heat and weight on him. With his senses already open and taking in more information than his brain seemed to want to process, touch was an added stressor, more unwanted sensory input.

-Virgil being touch-averse is a direct shoutout to Cade, who is also touch-averse.

Roman had already transformed the living room: metallic streamers of purple and black stretched across the corners of the ceiling, and shiny balloons spelling out A-N-X-E-I-T-Y hovered above the TV.

-Upon first writing, Virgil had already given the upstairs crew his name, so the banner spelled out "VIRIGL" which is way funnier than "ANXEITY." But then his name reveal became a plot point so I had to go back and change it.

-Let! Virgil! Be! Mean!

-Virgil's line about hearing refrigerator noise when Roman talks is another shout-out to Cade, who has leveled that accusation at me

A small, cruel part of him protested at the idea that he would need special treatment and desperately wanted to throw it back in Patton's face. He wasn't a sweetheart, he wasn't a baby. He didn't need to crawl into a blanket fort with Dad just because he was a little stressed.

-Remus calls Janus "Janus Geminus" because I was tired and couldn't come up with a pun. "Geminus" is one of the Roman god Janus' epithets; another is "Pater" meaning "Father." That led to a conversation about Remus deliberately confusing Patton by calling Janus "Daddy," but I couldn't think of a clean way to fit the explanation into the narrative, so I stuck with "Geminus."

Chapter 3:

"There's nothing normal about that! " Roman stared in horror at the coffee massacre Virgil had orchestrated. What had once been a respectable (if not very tasty) cup of black coffee was now part of a 1:1 coffee to milk suspension, the liquid a tasteful shade of tan suitable for business casual trousers or a show-ready chihuahua.

-Cade is a certified Nightmare Man and came up with Virgil's horrifying coffee order after I asked him about it. Keep an eye out for Janus' equally horrifying coffee order later in the fic.

1) Shouts out the fact that Janus is canonically a Dostoevsky fan

Chapter 4:

Janus smiled at him. "Where reason fails, the Devil helps." He fussed with his gloves and straightened his capelet. "It's showtime."

-I fucking love Crime and Punishment. Look at me. Look at me. I fucking love Crime and Punishment. Janus' quoting Raskolnikov serves multiple purposes:

2) Lampshades the fact that Roman just conveniently happened to be alone in the living room, because I didn't want to waste time getting him there. That makes me, the author, the Devil

3) Foreshadows the impending disaster. When Raskolnikov says this line it is because he had planned to commit axe murder. The axe he was planning to steal had been moved, but he finds another, different axe to use. Raskolnikov messes up the murder and ends up killing an innocent witness in addition to his intended target. Janus messes up his manipulation attempt and ends up murdering Roman's self esteem

-I was going to include a reference to Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead (Remus' line "debauchery and vomit" was originally going to be "blood, love, and rhetoric") but I didn't because... Uh... Hm. Why didn't I do that. Maybe I just forgot about it???

-Roman is too stubborn to manipulate for long and that is a fact.

"I was pretty much done anyway," Remus said. "There's only so much debauchery and vomit you can fit into one story."

-Cade specifically ask me that nobody cry in this fic, but after I had Janus eviscerate Roman I knew he couldn't not cry a little. I kept it to a minimum because there's already a billion fucking fics about [literally any Side] crying on the shoulder of [literally any other Side] and it's really just not interesting to either of us.

-It didn't come up because it doesn't matter, but Thomas dreamed he was participating in the exact Dionysian orgy that took place in The Secret History because it's my fic and I said so.

Chapter 5:

He just sat back and watched and tugged at his hair while Janus spooned mound after mound of crisp white sugar into his mug and Virgil poured his customary eight fluid ounces of milk into his own mug.

-Cade strikes again. Virgil's coffee order is equal amounts milk to coffee; Janus' is equal parts sugar to coffee. He had asked me to include a scene where Roman catches Janus massacring his coffee and is appropriately horrified, but I uhh... Didn't write it. I still might include it as an omake someday.

-I imagine that Roman feels really strongly about dragons vs wyverns, and Remus just pretends to give a shit because he thinks it's funny to wind Roman up. Fortunately for me but unfortunately for my sense of realism in writing, I can't relate because I adore my sister and we get along perfectly almost 100% of the time.

"You shut us down every chance you get!" Remus said, baring his teeth. "How would you like it if your pens never wrote, hm? What would you do with all those thoughts in your head?"

-I do wish I had developed the concept of power focuses a bit more, established rules and such. Basically, Patton is always on the prowl for wrongthink and actively represses it, which in turn breaks or sabotages the Dark Sides' power focus.

Chapter 6: This chapter really should have been Janus and Roman but I was really tired and didn't want to bother with it. Plus, you know, Moceit. This chapter was meant to demonstrate how the characters would get along without Virgil nannying them. There's friction, but everyone is making a conscious, deliberate effort to get along because they love Virgil, and love is a series of choices you make.

I chose "Leo" as the answer for the answer to the crossword clue instead of "Virgo," because my other QPP is a Leo. She'll never read this fic, but I did it anyway because I love her. (Trivia: My sign is Virgo, so it was really a choice between shouting her out and shouting me out, and the last chapter is self-indulgent enough, thank you).

Chapter 7: I was gonna write a fic where all the Sides watched Cats the Musical because I was going through a phase. Then Cade requested this so I combined the two ideas. By this point I was fucking exhausted, and that's the only thing that saved you and the rest of the world from me writing the Sides riffing on the movie scene-by-scene. I could come up with snarky commentary for almost every, if not every single song from the movie.

Most notably, I cut a Patton-Remus interaction where Remus declares his love for Grizabella and Patton gets all staryy-eyed about Remus connecting with the idea of rising above rejection and being loved and accepted only for Remus to shoot him down and explain that he just likes that she got to die in a tire fire.

Other cut scenes include Janus quietly pretending not to go feral over Mister Mistoffelees, Patton full-on fucking sobbing over Grizabella and the kittens, and Logan experiencing a deep, soulful kinship with Munkustrap during Of The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and the Pollices (and henceforth introducing the phrase "like herding cats" into his regular vocabulary

[floraone]

Hi, it's your UsaMamo exchange buddy. Do you have any special requests for your gift? I've read all your stories but am not sure the direction to go on what you'd like to read.

HELLO MY LOVELY GIFTER I AM SO EXCITED! 💋💋💋😊😊😊💋💋🎉

So first of thank you, I love you already, I'm sure anything you'll come up with will be spectacular! (And humbled you read all my fics!!!!!)

But I know it's always nice to have a scaffold of likes so here you have an overwhelming list of things I really love in fic atm. It's so long on purpose tho in the hopes you find something that makes you go ha I like that too! Annyyyway

So in general I am in two big moods: love square (ever since I got into ladybug and since I've seen the POTENTIAL that Tux/Usa/Mamoru/SM had to love square up and now I have a mighty need.)

and  canon-y in a way that I want them to definitely have their alter-egos. Meaning it can definitely be AU or canon divergences (love those what ifs!) But no matter what I want them not to be non-senshi AUs at the moment? Their Senshi sides don't have to play a giant role in the fics at all, but I want them to exist!

(As you know I've written my fare share of non-senshi AUs so it's not at all like I don't like them - it's just my current mood on what I am looking for in fic right now!)

☆Sailor Moon and Mamoru / Tux and Usagi dynamics fics. Both pre reveal and post reveal.

☆ Actually ALL FOUR sides pre and/or post reveal I'm not picky here lol

☆ one sided reveals where the person who finds out gets nervous and doesn't tell the other right away instead keeps making hints because they're convinced Mamoru-baka/Odango Atama would never be into them LIKE THAT.

☆Reveals (tho they're hard to get as spectacular as @kasienda does them)

☆ post-reveal pre-relationship fics! That sweet in-between awkwardness we never got because of evil-Endymion and instead a Mamo-chan with his hands in his pockets nervous about what to do NEXT now that Usagi is Sailor Moon and also the princess from his dreams and stuff the next mornings after the reveal.

BUT other than love square I really do have lots of other fanfic dreams lol so here's a big list of things I want in fics so you have tons to inspire you tho of course NOTHING IN THIS POST IS A MUST! In the end I want YOU to enjoy writing it because ultimately that's when it'll be the best!

However. Here it is lol.

☆youma makes a lovespell during S1 (T rated of course here because consent!!! But also of course since the exchange is T rated even tho you know me I'll take sex positive hinting any day lol) Could be a reveal! Could be hilarious!

☆canon break up arc fics where we get more of Mamoru's crying into his pillow POV

☆Mamoru legit went to Harvard during Stars and is writing her and freaking out when he finds out there's been enemies who literally target sailor senshi and she hasn't told him as not to concern him and also Seiya

☆realistic Japanese locations/restaurants/shops or food in my fics. (Like imma be in Tokyo again in late March and early April gimme something I could have visited in time lol!)

☆I love it when they visit each other unannounced at night? Like Tux slipping into Usagi's window at night to come cuddle and fall asleep together and vice versa? Hushed conversations in bed about nothing and everything from conbini snacks they crave to their deepest current fears or concerns for the world?

☆piggyback rides

☆Mamoru's day to day in high school (including asanuma!!!) or university. As a detail (because we never really got to see Mamoru In his school environment outside of like, scarce panels in the Manga and I'm INTERESTED especially ever since Cockpits doujins) orrr...

☆even with Usagi there for whatever reason pre- or postrelationship and pre-or postreveal using the pen to disguise herself as a classmate or student. Think of all the flustered in-school flirting Mamoru would be so confused about and HATE! Bonus sweet if Usagi transforms into a boy - Azabu is an all-boy's school in some canon versions after all?

☆I do really really love the canon-flip fics where it's USAGI with the temporary memory loss and not Mamoru. Like @idesofnovember did.

☆KISSES. breathless kisses, hello kisses, pecks and frantic kisses, secret kisses, heated kisses, forehead kisses, handkisses. you pick.