#also I'm posting this whilst no one is online so... timezones...

[tavyliasin]

Navigating Fandom Online

Good timezone, darlings, we are out here again with another little fandom essay around what to expect online and how to curate your experiences in each of those spaces. Whilst I realise it may seem like this is could relate to a number of recent events, it is more that there even are recent events that spur me to thinking on this one, not aiming at any conversation, person, or situation at all.

Curating Your Online Fandom Experience - A Guide/Essay by TavyliaSin (And how to keep each other safe in fandom spaces) ((As well as what to do if we don't feel safe)) (((Also a little around what to expect in each space)))

So the following will be broken down by chapter headings and may discuss, in very vague terms, some heavier topics. So consider this a CW for fandom drama, discussion of what is in CWs and why, and generally an overview of things that many might find difficult to discuss~

What are Online Fandom Spaces and How Are They Different?

Tumblr is just one open online fandom website that many of us use to share and find content and connections with fellow fans. It's far from the only site/app though, and each has a different userbase, different rules, and often a different "vibe" to the space.

We all have limited time and energy, so really we need to choose which spaces are right for us to spend both of those on.

Because each space is unique with the userbase, rules, and tools we can use within them, I'm going to split the conversation by site rather than by topic from here. That might mean some things are repeated, but also makes it easier to see which relates to what site.

In general, our aims in these spaces should be to learn how to find the content we want to see more of, how to keep ourselves safe from potentially triggering content that we don't want to see, how to connect with people who will enhance our lives and experience, and how to handle content we don't want to see without exacerbating the issues or causing more problems along the way.

Tumblr

Let's start right here where we are! Now I'm going to be entirely honest, I still have little idea what I'm doing here, I'm making it up as I go along, but Tumblr is an important fandom space. Fans from certain countries may find Tumblr is one of the few options not blocked when places like Twitter and AO3 are not accessible from where they live. We have a wide userbase and a whole lot of content, so let's get started.

Curating Your Own Works and CWs on Tumblr Tumblr has the fun little "Keep Reading" marker which means you can put your CWs in the top part of the post and indicate that the content will be below the "keep reading" line. You can also use this with others' posts to know if the topic is one you want to read or not. If it isn't? You can scroll on by without seeing the potentially distressing content! For image and video posts there are also the options to mark the content as NSFW in nature too, which will keep it from your feeds.

You have the choice for all NSFW content to be shown, or for it to be blurred with a warning. This will also help you to curate what you see - if you're fine with NSFW content being out in the open you can leave it revealed, or you can keep the blurring and warning tags enabled to choose what you wish to see, or if you don't want to see any of it you can simply have them all hidden from your feeds.

Safety And Connecting With Other Fans The Ask Box can be a fun way to connect, especially with other creatives! Anonymously suggesting a creative idea can be more comfortable for people who aren't as confident having their identity linked to certain content, and opens up for writers and artists (and other creatives) to receive interesting prompts and inspiration for their works. Unfortunately, however, it can also be used in less kind ways. If you find your ask box is being sent anything unpleasant then unfortunately the options boil down to either ignoring/deleting anything unpleasant or turning it off completely in your options. Nobody should have to do the latter, but unfortunately there are times it may be necessary. Connecting to people whose content you like does seem to be a different world here compared to other sites. You can follow blogs you enjoy, and get alerts for their new content, but there's less of a culture of commenting here. I've personally found that directly commenting is a nicer and easier way to get to know the creators you want to talk to, and may lead to DMs or connecting on other socials off-site where you talk more. I adore that, so I certainly shan't be stopping any time soon, though if anyone does feel uncomfortable with comments on their works please do tell me. More often however we use reblogs and the tags on those are how we keep the conversation going, and we may find ourselves sharing similar circles that way.

Avoiding People And Content You Don't Like Tumblr allows a variety of content which is great for creatives to share what they're making, although this does mean there will be users who you don't get along with and content you don't want to see.

Tag Filters can also keep content off your feed. So, for example, if you don't want to see anything with a specific character or pairing you can put those tags into the filter and it'll keep them out. Similarly with content tags, and as long as people are properly tagging works like they should you can choose exactly what you do and don't want to see with the systems already in place! You can block individual blogs and users, hide them so they don't appear on your feed, but unfortunately there is always the chance that people can easily make new accounts and find their way back to your works. You can also report posts that break the terms of service of the website, but please only use this function for this purpose. Reporting things you personally dislike isn't helpful either to the user or to the system. If someone's works aren't to your taste, blocking them is the easiest way to keep it out of your eyeline. That's your way to say "I do not consent to seeing this" whilst leaving the content there for others who do wish to see it. Other Considerations for Tumblr Honestly I would love other peoples' input on this one. I'm not an expert on this one.

Archive Of Our Own (AO3)

AO3 is one of the widest and most open fandom spaces. It's like a library, and everything is well organised into the proper sections. That also means that there will be works on there that contain content you may be less comfortable with reading, so it's important both to tag your own works and to look at the tags on others' works to know what you want to read or not. For more on content warnings and how to use them, click here for that essay because it is a long topic of its own.

What Should/Shouldn't Be On The Site? Those who know me well here know that although I have a fair little list of characters and topics I will not read or write, I also fully support everyone else's rights to do so if they wish. That's the standard on AO3 too. There are few topics that are fully banned, and the system allows for tagging and filtering of works based on those tags. Aside from the general age ratings that set a tone for the work there are the archive warning tags.

These Archive labels are an explicit indicator of the kind of content in a piece that allow readers to make a decision of informed consent on whether they wish to read. Anything tagged with a specific warning, or with the "chose not to warn" tells a reader that there is content that may be triggering or unwanted. It gives them the choice to read or to find another piece. Nobody is being forced to read heavy topics just by virtue of them existing, and as I mention in the above-linked essay post around CWs, fiction can be a very valid and powerful way for people to process their own traumas in a safe and controlled environment. There are very few things that are fully forbidden from the site, just like how in a library you will find there are books with different content types. The point is not to ban the ones you do not want to read, but to select the ones from the shelves that you do want to read, and to learn how to use the tags like the labels on library books (or the information on the cover) to tell you what you might want to read. It's not like a book shop where the owner is choosing only what they want to sell, or your own personal book shelf where you only keep the books you like. It's a communal space for everyone to share and read their works. You can customise how things appear in your feed too, the Preferences can give you those options to filter what you want to see or not see as you browse the site.

AO3 Community Engagement Commenting and leaving kudos on AO3 is a wonderful way to support writers you like. If you don't like a work at all, I also recommend just leaving without bringing the writer down - unwanted critique doesn't tend to help anyone improve, but it can make them (or even other readers) want to stop writing which would be a terrible shame. If someone asks for critique specifically then of course that is fine, but you should also try to find the things you like within the work as well to show the writer what to do more of and what strengths they can rely on. The best thing for a writer to read from their works on AO3 are comments that specifically pick out favourite lines and say what they like about them. It's a little harder to directly chat, but if there are contact details in peoples' bios you can form more social connections this way, or simply subscribe to your favourite authors to see more of their works and get notified with new releases.

Safety and Security You can block or mute specific users if you find their works are not to your tastes or if they have been unkind in their interactions with your works, or for any reason you wish. These options are on every user's profile on the top right beneath their name.

You can easily stop seeing the works from anyone at any time without having to do anything further. If they have broken the site rules, of course, that is something to raise with the website's moderation teams and allow them to handle it accordingly, but to be very clear here: It is not ok to send people negative comments because you disagree with them or the topics they write about. We should all be free to create what we want to create as long as it is within the law (and particularly this applies to not sharing NSFW content to those who are not old enough to engage with it) as long as all of our works are appropriately tagged.

You can also control who can see and engage with your works - I personally prefer comment moderation, even though there has never been a single comment I have rejected. You can also turn off guest comments, or only let registered user view your works in the first place. This gives you the option to block people as and when you need to, whilst still allowing engagement. This can be changed on every single work you have and edited at any time. Whilst it might discourage or reduce some engagement, it can give you confidence that negative comments can't pile up whilst you're not looking at your account and remain visible. It's also security for those of us who prefer not to link our government names to our adult content creation, so we know nobody is revealing anything we don't want known to our wider audience.

Twitter/X

I'm going to call it Twitter because that's how most of us still know it and refer to it, as well as other language like Tweet, RT, QRT as needed. (X is a terrible name for a platform and we all know it).

Fandom On Twitter In general this is one of the widest nets of fandom from what I can see. It's also the least moderated space on the internet, and with limited space in tweets it is a lot more common for things to be taken out of context. The spoiler tagging only works on images, so that's also more difficult to curate the content you share yourself. Twitter in general tends to have more of an aggressive culture to it, anonymity and ease of making new accounts leaving it very open to people getting away with saying whatever they like regardless of who it impacts.

Curating Your Twitter Feed This one is largely going to come down to who you follow. Check the bio of users you're thinking about following, and maybe scan a few of their posts, replies, and likes to get an idea of the kind of content they engage with and are likely to share. You can also mute and/or block individual users. This can help to narrow down what you see on your feed, however do be aware you're more likely to see negative content and "fandom drama" go down on Twitter. It's very instant and has a vibe of calling things out immediately, potentially due to the short form of content people aren't spending long thinking about what they want to say or how they want to say it.

Keeping Yourself Safe This one is going to be utilising the mute and block features as needed, but you can also choose to only allow people you follow to respond to your tweets. This is a good way to keep your Twitter experience just to friends and others you share values with, reducing the chance of arguments and issues. However, it is also good to know when to step back, disengage, and stop interacting with content or people who are distressing you.

Keeping Others Safe Having a "minors DNI" rule is a good plan for most (meaning you are openly stating that those under 18 years old "do not interact" with your posts and content as it is more likely to be unsuitable even if you can't easily mark it as adult only content). It is also good to remember that those arguing on Twitter are less likely to listen and change their minds on an issue, so if someone is being unfairly upset by the words and actions of others it is often better to support that person rather than to engage with anyone speaking against them.

Discord

This can be one of your most easy to curate and customise for your social groups, though that means it's harder to connect to newer people and find larger spaces and reach for content. But it's still worth looking at how you choose and interact with spaces.

Joining a New Server Get to know the rules and the people who run the space. Discord servers can all be very different in how they are laid out and the rules they have for their communities. Some might have bans on certain kinds of content like characters or pairings, others may be open to all kinds of content but have it separated into different sections and areas so people know when/where they are engaging with different things. If you feel that the rules or leadership don't match your values, you can leave at any time and don't need to let anyone know unless you wish to keep contacts outside of the server. Many servers are invite only, or will advertise in a limited way through other sites like Twitter and Tumblr (I certainly advertise my own on both, for those who might want to join), but some might also be listed on a site called Disboard which can be a good way to find active fan community servers. I'm actually in some servers that ban certain content, and other servers that explicitly allow that same content. I appreciate both types of space, and knowing what to expect when I visit each of them. Having places that ban certain topics outright is great as a comfortable place for people who don't like it, but equally having places that allow it is also great so the people who do enjoy it can safely indulge without judgement. There are many reasons why people do/don't like content, and I don't believe anyone has to justify that unless they explicitly want to.

Spoiler Tagging and CWs on Discord Spoiler tags are very easy to use on Discord, it's one of the best systems as you can spoiler images as well as part or all of the text that you wish to hide. You can then ensure your comment tells people what to expect underneath the spoiler cover. This shows roughly how it works for text.

I would always advise to tell people what is under the spoiler tag, so people know what they're revealing. That way everyone can interact confidently knowing they're not going to uncover content they're uncomfortable with.

Blocking, Banning, and Moderation Discord's blocking is pretty simple - block a user and they can still see your posts but they will not be able to leave reactions on them, and you won't see anything they post. If you're a Moderator or Admin of a server and you ban a user, they will not be able to return on another account unless they're using a VPN as it uses an IP ban. For safeguarding, it can also be helpful to share information with other fandom space moderators if there is a genuinely harmful person in the community. Several Discord servers do this already as far as I know, sharing the full user ID number of people who are not safe to be in the community so they can be prevented from entering.

How To Choose Your Social Spaces

Looking at the options there, each space is set up very differently. The open spaces like Twitter and Tumblr and AO3 are going to take some more care to know when is best to not engage with content you don't like or disagree with, and to know that any post or opinion can risk going viral at any time. Discord is going to have the more closed and specialised communities that will likely have a closer match to personal values and social circles.

Whichever place you're in, it's a good idea to be aware of what kinds of content you're likely to encounter and what to expect with interactions.

If a site or fandom space makes you feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or otherwise unhappy, it is absolutely valid to avoid it. Even if others use it.

In the case of places like Twitter and Tumblr, you might not gain as much reach if you only shout into the void and don't interact with others, but if that's all you feel safe doing because scrolling through content is distressing that is all you need to do. Beyond the terms of service there aren't really rules governing how you use any particular platform. Different spaces have different levels of moderation, so it really is up to us at the end of the day which ones we use to ensure we are looking out for our own safety.

What Should We Do If Something or Someone Isn't Safe?

This is the last big one to look at again. If someone is breaking the rules of a platform, report it to the appropriate places. If someone is suffering because of the content they have seen or the things that have been said to them, put your energy into looking after them rather than going after whoever you feel has wronged them. Revenge doesn't heal anyone, it just spreads more pain elsewhere and makes people more likely to retaliate or worsens the whole situation.

When we fight fire with fire we risk turning everything to ashes. Instead, calming a situation and letting the drama die down is what allows the people who have been hurt to heal rather than raking over the hot coals again and again.

The final point is when it has crossed legal lines, if there is an issue with safeguarding minors or any other law-breaking activity, that's when we need to go further than site/platform moderation and look to the legal options to protect our fandom spaces and the people involved.

You always have a choice what content to look at, what spaces to use, and what kinds of energy you are bringing in to those spaces. Kindness can often spur on more kindness, whereas confrontation mostly just leads to more confrontation. Of course there are times and places where confrontation is necessary, but we should also pick our battles wisely and prioritise caring for those who have been harmed first.

Until next time darlings~ sorry if this one was a long ramble, I've been on and off it all day to try and ensure my thoughts are at least a little organised. Here's hoping all of our experiences with the community can be positive and match the values we want to see within ourselves and each other~

[fainthedcherry]

Mental Health Awareness month is tomorrow. So have a post in my timezone for the 1st of may an hour ahead, so I won't have to post tomorrow.

It's crazy, how calmed my parents are now. It's as if they've never yelled or argued with me over not being able to get a job, now that I had been given the chance. Why weren't they just as patient as that before?? I doubt it would've hurt to have been kind to me whilst I was going through a mentally taxing time. Kinda annoyed with them, I admit. But I'm just glad they stopped mentally wearing me down. I really need my mental stability, if I wanna convince them to take me in. I've been preparing a script in my head for several days now, to hopefully ease the anxiety that is asking me why I want a job without answering, "I just don't wanna be home and earn money to get a car and driver's license man, no magic behind it." I honestly wish, that getting employed would be just as easy as the snap of a finger, as it is for me to draw. I have. So many useless talents I never use, it's kinda sad, almost, y'know? I'm a social wreck due to years worth of being put into a bad place with all the bullying I endured, and breaking that shell apart now, to try and become a capable and social being is just so much harder due to it. I'm really trying, but I still fail at keeping my cool once I'm home. I nearly break down each time I go outside. That mental pressure of people judging me, like I was for a literal century (I'm not even exaggerating), hasn't faded, only worsened.

I hope that the help I'm getting now, can reverse that. It's not like I hate talking to people. Once I start, I can't shut up until my own voice becomes rasp. I can literally talk for hours. To no end. It's just so much harder, when no one wants to listen, or whenever I close myself off for a while to do my best to keep my ego in check and try to stay a good person. It's hard to be nice, when I was worn down for so long by the world itself.

^Man all this angst-dump would make killer midwest lyrics though. Maybe I'll update you tomorrow with that. I can't play my guitar that well yet, but maybe, some day. I might just become a musician like Cavetown..Where people can seek refuge and relate and understand. I just honestly want people to feel safe near me. But it's hard due to all the trust-issue I had to endure from friends who've backstabbed me. Way too many have.

But yeah, I think I'll leave this pondering for now to the future tomorrow. I honestly wanna draw some venty art for this entire month? As I don't have 30 mermaids for Mermay, I only have like...3 mermaid characters, which for my standard of being obsessed with fairytale creatures, is a lot. lmao. I might continue doing this. Just. Being honest with people and like..I guess conversing to a mirror? No one but myself listening? Is kinda nice. I usually shut myself up immediately and can't cope at all due to it. Maybe if I re-learn to trust and appreciate a side of me, I've long pushed away, for the sake of presenting myself as a mentally-stable person online, just maybe, I'll feel much more true to myself. Currently I just feel like the worst person on earth, as I've gotten super needy, with the need to be recognized and acknowledged by the world. I want to be someone. But we all want to be someone, at the end of the day.

I'm not sure if tagging this is a good idea? But I honestly also wonder, if someone out there can seek comfort, in such texts, where just a person overthinks their life and ponders. Maybe I should make that the hashtag too, beside mental health awareness month. Maybe look out for some sketches in the coming may? Unless of course, I get busy, I always do and I know it, so I can't really commit to monthly challenges as I'd like to. But hey, chin up, for the fact that I always try, despite knowing I won't get to the finish-line. It's better than doing nothing and being nobody.

[ronamov]

not that anyone else cares but here’s @bigbadbree and I sitting down in game whilst we bitch about assassin’s creed over comms for almost an hour 

[mayfriend-archive]

Totally understand if you're not up for it and fully recognize the ronald mcdonald dom/sub anon vibes which is an AMAZING post btw but like...now i'm curious, what the hell did Lord of the Flies anon DO that got him blocked for the discourse? like...i just can't wrap my head around high school lit being...uh...that inflammatory i guess?

Okay so, I'll start by saying I've had a new anon from apparently the same anon saying they are NOT the person I blocked, just a rando making the same points, but I'll answer your question anyway just to set out why this person in particular got blocked, out of the several thousand who reblogged/commented on that very successful addition to the LoTF post I made.

First off, I added the 'real life Lord of the Flies' story because I thought it was a good story. I had read about it only a couple days beforehand in Humankind and, after reading out the entire chapter to my parents who weren't very interested, I was excited that there was not only a post where it would be relevant to post, but that I wouldn't be hijacking it, as it was already rejecting the widespread interpretation taught in many schools, that humanity is inherently savage.

When making the addition, I a) did not think it would get more than a couple reblogs, because the post was already at 50k notes and I figured anyone that might be interested would already have seen it, and b) I did not know the very specific context that prompted William Golding to write the book; all I knew was that he had been a teacher at a public school (basically, the poshest schools in the country - think Eton, Harrow, very 'old money' places that pump out Conservative politicians by the bucket-load 🤢) who hated his job and the boys he taught (which, valid), and new information I'd been given in Humankind - that Golding had said to his wife one day, "Wouldn't it be a good idea to write a story about some boys on an island, showing how they would really behave?" - which had no mention of The Coral Island by R. M. Ballantyne, which I have since learned was the text that Golding loathed enough to write an entire novel in refutation of - and included what I considered a very telling letter from Golding to his publisher, in which Golding wrote of his belief that 'even if we start with a clean slate, our nature compels us to make a muck of it.' Another Golding quote that I believe portrays his belief in humanity's 'innate savagery' is that "man produces evil as a bee produces honey."

Obviously, the author of a book putting forward the case for humanity's inherent goodness was going to oppose Golding's hypothesis; Bregman not only noted Golding's literary accomplishments and beliefs, but his personal life.

When I began delving into the author's life, I learned what an unhappy individual he'd been. An alcoholic. Prone to depression. A man who, as a teacher, once divided his pupils into gangs and encouraged them to attack each other. "I have always understood the Nazis," Golding confessed, "because I am of that sort by nature." (Humankind by Rutger Bregman, p. 24-25)

I have bolded the part about him as a teacher, because it is incredibly relevant to the original post that I commented on, which begins with a comic of a teacher locking her class in to see them 'recreate' Lord of the Flies, something which the follow up comments before mine staunchly reject as both misunderstanding the point of the book, and the fact that it took the kids in Lord of the Flies a significant amount of time without adult supervision to go 'savage'. This misreading of the text is widespread enough that when Golding won the Nobel Prize for Lord of the Flies, the Swedish Nobel committee wrote that his book 'illuminate[s] the human condition in the world of today'. Whether or not they misread it is beyond my expertise - they do at least mention the factors of the outside world neglected by many when analysing the book, but still seem to believe it says something about human nature as a whole rather than just, to quote thedarkbutbeige 'British kids being rat bastards' - but Golding quite happily took his Nobel prize on this basis. Which, in fairness, I would too. It's a fucking Nobel prize.

It was with this knowledge, and this knowledge alone, that I stated in my now very, very widely read comment that Golding 'wrote the book to be a dick', in response to the tags of the person I reblogged from. As I said, I now know that Golding did not write the book (solely) because he hated the kids he taught, but as a response to The Coral Island and the general idea that clearly the British were inherently civilsed, whilst the people they colonised and enslaved were inherently savage. So. That's the background.

The anon - or rather, the person I thought was anon - was the sole exception out of dozens of replies, who instead of telling me about The Coral Island politely decided it was time to go ALL CAPS and regurgitate points already made by thespaceshipoftheseus, and implied that the only reason that the real life Tongan castaways didn't go all Lord of the Flies was because they weren't British. Not because they weren't surrounded by violence like the boys in Lord of the Flies, or there wasn't a World War ongoing, or that they weren't the upper, upper, upper crust of a class-obsessed society like Britain - but because they weren't British. A complete inversion of the concept that Golding was trying to get across - now, instead of all of humanity being equally prone to savagery in the right conditions, it was solely nationality that determined it. As in, the British were inherently savage, but nobody else was.

I, trying for humour, made the terrible mistake of replying to them.

I won't lie, I was absolutely blown away that this was real life. What I think they were trying to do was be that Cool Tumblr Person who, after somebody's been shitty on a post, goes to their blog and sees something Damning in their about/description. In an ideal world, I imagine I'd have gone nuts or done something Unforgiveable. In what I can only call the rant that followed, they stated several times that I needed to go back to high school to get some 'proper literary analysis' skills and that the story of the Tongan castaways was completely unrelated to the point at hand which. I mean, I disagree, considering that I made the addition, but I couldn't get my head around how commenting on a post that was already rejecting the thesis that the 'point' of Lord of the Flies was that humanity was inherently savage and was, in fact, about how kids - British or otherwise - learn how to function from the adults around them, and that traumatised, terrified children aren't going to create a mini-Utopia, and put forward a real life example of how without the key additions of an ongoing world war, a colonial Empire and the subsequent mindset of thinking you are 'inherently civilised' and therefore can't do anything wrong, actually, people just want to take care of each other.

A friend has since asked me why I even have 'england' in my description. To be honest, it's a timezone thing - I talk to a lot of people online who don't share my timezone, and it generally makes me feel like if I don't reply immediately because it's 3am, they have the tools to see that I'm not in their timezone and not just ignoring them. I did consider changing it to 'british' or 'uk' after it was... 'used against me', I guess, simply because I didn't want to deal with it, but you know what. No. Not gonna do that. I am from England, and I have never hid that fact. I have a tag called 'uk politics', during Eurovision I refer to the UK's act as 'us' (even if I really, really don't want to. Because James Newman slaughtered that song and it was downright embarrassing), I regularly post stuff in my personal tag about where I live (and mostly complain about this piece of shit government). If people really think my nationality makes every point I make null and void, then they don't have to follow me or interact with my posts; tumblr is big, and I am one medium-small blog very easily passed over.

I did reply to them, trying to explain the above, but their next response really just doubled down. Because I used the word British instead of English - foolishly because the posts above mine focused on Britishness, and also because although Golding was English and taught English kids, the pro-Imperialism author of The Coral Island, R. M. Bannatyne was actually Scottish so, ding ding ding, falls into the 'British' category - they then decided that I was somehow trying to pretend I wasn't English and made all the same points, before ending with this doozy:

At this point, I knew there was nothing to be gained from replying, because if we're whipping out conditions like they're pokemon cards then there's no actual conversation anymore, and I'm not going to start mudslinging like an identity politician. They made up their mind, and I figured there could be no harm in letting them think that they 'won' by blocking them instead of replying.

Until the ask. INNATE ENGLISH SAVAGERY did, I'll admit, make me think it was them, back again. I even thought up a really good response approximately 12 hours after I replied, I was that sure. Until the second message came in, and said they were just someone who came from the post and made the same point by chance. So the saga draws to a close... for now.

It may have been them, it may not have been - the anon feature makes it impossible to be sure, but as the second message I got said, we're in a heatwave. It's too hot to argue. And I've just written a goddamn essay about a book I dislike anyway.

My pasty English ass is going to go melt. If there's Disk Horse, do not tell me. I am Done™