#also I think my struggle with a brush is a skill issue cuz other people make such great art with it

[calicolite]

Bromine brush test! (I struggled so much with the brush but it turned out alright I guess 😭)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #467

“oh, mary, mary, ain’t this fun?  /  mary, mary, i’ve got a gun”

If the last person you kissed asked you to marry them, what would you do? Pray to god it wasn't in public and tell him it's waaaay too soon for that one. Does your favorite uncle have any children? Yeah, a son and daughter. Name all the members (first, middle and last names) from your favorite band. Ha, it's funny how once upon a time, I could do this. All I've got now is John Michael Osbourne. Have you ever heard a young child swear? Maybe? Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo?: Yes to both. Has a taste of something ever made you smile? Boy meet me at The Cheesecake Factory and see what my face does lmaooo As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a paleontologist sooo badly. I wanted to discover new dinosaurs, put a shitload of work into unearthing fossils and being so proud to see the final results... Even now as an adult, if I could handle the heat, traveling, and hardcore school, I'd still love to do that. Would you cuss the person you hate the most out to their face? No. My hatred for her is unjustified and I'd rather just not say anything to her. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? As one of the strongest people around. I imagine her with a job in medical coding, while also pursuing the hobbies of ball python breeding and writing. I'm sure she'll have loads of pets to love, too! Do you like Florence + The Machine? I've never listened to them. Did you watch the presidential debates? No. Do you ever watch Dr. Phil? No. Are you typically unattracted to people outside of your race? No; I can be attracted to any race. Have you ever ridden any animal other than a horse? No. Do you brush your hair when it’s wet? Yes. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yeah, I always have. Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! At my childhood home, there was a tobacco field directly across the street, and when they weren't in season so the field was flat, Dad would help us with getting kites set up and in the air. Those are good memories. How are you for money? I don't make any money. Mom is struggling. Do you think you are more intelligent than the average person? Ha, no. Do you ever think about why we are here? Does it matter? We're here, so make the most of it. Do you like cherries? I fucking hate cherries. Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: Jeffree Star, probs. Can you use a yoyo? Not well, but yeah. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Do you like folk music? NOOOOOOOOO Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Do you know any lesbians? Yep. Favourite member of your favourite band: I'm unfamiliar with all but Ozzy himself. And Ozzy is rad. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one. When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you? No. Have you ever had a seizure? No. I sometimes have very, very quick spasms when I'm falling asleep that feel like what I assume a seizure would, but they barely last a second. They seriously jerk me awake, though, and are very startling. What’s the oldest man-made object you own? I dunno. Is there anything you feel like you need a break from? Not really, no. What do you hate to hear people joke about? I will actually and remorselessly deck you in the jaw if you make a joke about rape. There are other things that are absolutely forbidden joking matters for me, too. What’s the largest animal you’ve seen in the wild? Hmmm... Nothing that big, really. Maybe a whitetail deer buck? Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations? Not to my knowledge. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety? Oh yeah. We've had some savage thunderstorms. What political issues are the most important to you personally? LGBTQ+ rights and just equality in general, the pro-choice movement, environmental conservation, gun control, the abolishment of poverty and homelessness... There is honestly a lot. I could keep going. Do you know anyone who doesn’t know how to cook even just simple recipes? ... Me. :x Especially now that I'm in a relationship, I really want to make a greater effort to learn. I want to prove to him I give a damn about the success of our relationship and that I'm capable of being an adult that can take part in general adult responsibilities. ^What’s stopping them from learning this basic life skill? Laziness. Forgetfulness. The fear of getting burned. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone? I can pick up on sketchy body language from a mile away. I'm too paranoid not to. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite? At least from photographs I've seen, Utah appears BEAUTIFUL. That whole region of the U.S. in general. Are there any obscure foods you’ve eaten that most people have never tried? That's very unlikely. I'm far from explorative with food. When you travel to other countries, do you always try the local cuisine? I've never been outside the U.S. I would probably do that, though. I'd really want to experience the culture as thoroughly as I could. What did you do for your 19th birthday? Hell if I remember. What’s the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you? I remember as a young kid, my parents, two sisters, and I were getting food at McDonald's, and whoever was in front of us paid for our meals. Such a sweet gesture for a larger family. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service? No, but there actually is one that I can't recall the name of that I'd like to try when I cook myself, especially getting started learning, but yeah, subscription fees. You see a lot of YouTubers get sponsored by them, if that rings a bell. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood? Possibly my fear of men, with my dad having been an alcoholic that had a 50/50 chance of being very angry when drunk. How organized are the files on your computer? Pretty organized, I'd say. I put stuff into folders. Would you date someone with braces? Yes? Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? Only always. Do you get angry at yourself or at others more often? Myself, for sure. When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I've never even taken a cab. Who or what greets you at the door every time you come home? Nobody, really. My cat is occasionally in the living room to see who's home, but not always because he's a lazy cat, ha ha. Do you ever chat about your favourite video games with your friends? Not really, no. I wish. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No, bc I'm poor. Are you currently studying a language? If so, which one? No. Ever had a friend online for a long time without seeing a photo of them? Yeah. Do you carry pepper spray? No, but I want some 'cuz I'm paranoid as hell. Are you waiting on anything right now? No. Have you ever been described as shy? Is it true? Oh, always. It's absolutely true. Name something you’re a complete sucker for? Baby animals, to name one thing. Do you remember when you first went on the internet? Nope. What is one way someone could completely put you off on a first date? Arrogance/over-confidence. What about a way someone could make you like them more on a first date? Make me genuinely laugh a lot, to name one way. Are you in love right now? Not yet. I love him with our decade of history, but I need more experience as a couple before I've got the confidence to say that. Do you wanna get married anytime soon? It wouldn't be smart to. I want to be in a strong relationship for quite a few years before I want that. Have you ever kissed someone in a band? No. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? No but oh my fucking god I wish!!!!!! Did your mom or dad ever put soap in your mouth? No, but Mom would threaten to. What was the last fruit you ate? Well, I had strawberry yogurt earlier today. Who was the last person to make you laugh? Girt. He is very, very good at that. Have you ever dated someone with more piercings than you? No. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hell yeah man. Is there one night of your life you wish had never happened? I wish it hadn't happened the way it did. Do you have a close relationship with your sibling(s)? No. What was the last thing that you shared? Some watermelon Sour Patch Kids with my mom. Do you think people talk behind your back? You couldn't get me to believe my mom doesn't at least sometimes to my sisters even if you tried your absolute damnedest. In real life do you laugh like ‘haha,’ 'hehe’ or something else? It depends on what I'm laughing at/at what intensity. Do you have any unusual skills? Nah. Who’s your favourite person? I don't have a sole favorite person. I love many people in different ways for varying reasons. Are there any chores you actually enjoy doing? No. When did you last have an "Oh, I get it now!" moment? Watching Attack on Titan yesterday w/ Girt. Have your parents ever suspected something untrue about you? My mom HAD to have suspected I was doing something FAR worse than innocent meerkat RP to have borderline fucking traumatized me invading my privacy and forcing shit out of me regarding what I was always doing on the computer so secretively. Like I get it, she was a concerned mother, but I was a fucking WRECK because I found it so embarrassing. It was insulting that she didn't trust her well-behaved daughter. What do you think about video games? They're great for both the creators and consumers. They're wonderful expressions of creativity, and so much fun to experience as a player, delving into a new world and getting engrossed in the story. I could go onnnn and onnnnn about what video games mean to me. I've gone my whole life as a loyal gamer. Are there any forms of Art you personally find pointless? I really, really don't get a lot of abstract art that's worth fucking thousands, BUT, I absolutely disagree that they are without purpose. The artist created what they did for SOME reason. As a distraction, a method of expressing emotion, to convey an idea... Are you tired right now? I have been SO ridiculously tired today. Like it's unreal. I've taken I wanna say three naps and I'm still sleepy. What’s something you do a lot? Drink something. I'm not talking about alcohol; just in general, I ALWAYS need some kind of drink by me, and I go through drinks pretty quickly. Are you currently on any other websites? Yeah, I'm watching YouTube. Are you good at using Photoshop? I'm decent, I guess. Have you ever been told you naturally tilt your head a certain way? Yes, actually, at least by my mom, and she's right. My head tends to tilt VERY slightly to the right, and I can tell by how easy it is to bend my head that way as opposed to left. I'll feel a biiiit more strain.

[moreenchiladasplease]

tagged by the lovely @kizunah ! thank you! i love tag games!

1. who’s one of your favorite characters and why?

currently, since i’m reading the raven cycle, it’s gansey. honestly i love all the characters bcuz maggie is so fucking good at writing them. even the villians. and the gray man! fuck don’t even get me started on morally gray characters. going into the books i thought i would like ronan or adam the best just bcuz you raved about them a lot and usually those are the character i tend to love and i still very much love them but gansey man. he took me by surprise. 

he just has so much of my aesthetics. like he has a fucking mint plant bcuz he likes mint and somehow always unlimited mint leaves in his pockets for whenever feels like minty freshness. he was wire frame glasses. he lives in an old factory. he adds to his miniature model town when he can’t sleep. he has journals. and likes the fucking beatles!! he drives a broken down piece of garbage that’s probably held together by duck tape and he knows it and loves it. he is an old soul! he is an Intellectual™. but also Clueless™. he is such a fucking dad friend. always going “lynch” “parrish” jane”. and he’s so wholesome and such a good and caring friend and it kills him inside when he can’t help his friends and oh god oh god please help me i love him

2. last book you read – what did you think of it?

I finished the hate u give by angie thomas a couple of days ago and I absolutely loved it. it focuses on police brutality and racism also touches on various different topics like drug abuse, gangs, abuse, different views on interracial couples, etc. It was an incredibly powerful and impactful book. It was kind of hard for me to read bcuz generally, I read books to get away from the world we live in and this was very much the reality of the world we live in. the injustice of it. and angie writes it in a way that it is unapologetically honest. but it is so so important. I wrote a full review here on my book blog but it’s a spoiler-y so beware.

also I’m so excited to see amandla stenberg play starr. I’m gonna have to wait a few months to watch it (bcuz there are no frickin theatres here) but still... I know it’s gonna be great.

3. do you consider yourself a good decision maker?

these three words do not belong together   i really can’t say... maybe 72% of the time i am? yup that seems pretty accurate

4. preferred studying method?

pfffffftttt method? what method? i tend to study at my desk to avoid falling asleep. and i listen to lofi hip hop or jazz. and i usually study in 3 hour intervals bcuz i have trouble focusing for longer periods of time and have to take breaks. is that what you meant?

5. favorite word from your native language?

I don’t necessarily have a favorite word... but when I learned my Spanish alphabet I would like to say the letter ‘y’ over and over again because it was fun to pronounce. It’s pronounced  ~ i griega ~ which is really fun to say. I just really love Spanish and rollng my ‘r’s. 

6. do you have a problematic character you’d die for?

let me take a deep breath first will herondale (tid)! ronan lynch (trc)! the gray man (trc)! loki laufeyson (marvel). tony stark (marvel)! matt murdock (marvel)! jessica jones (marvel). magneto (marvel)! jason todd/red hood (dc)! sherlock holmes (sherlock). charlotte holmes!  todoroki shouto (bnha)! bakuboy (bnha)! itachi uchiha (naruto)! hohenhiem (fmab). greed (fmab)! i could go on forever but imma stop here

7. is there something you felt like you’d never be good at, but are somewhat decent at doing now?

I feel like my social skills have improved a shit ton. I used to not be able to speak to people without stuttering a lot or while holding eye contact for longer than 5 seconds. I used to not be able to order food for myself. And now I can interact with people better and I pick up on social cues better. And I smile at people I don’t know when I’m happy bcuz I feel like it and I like to spread positivity. things like this may seem small to other people but it’s not small for me. I think I’ve come a long way and I’m incredibly proud of myself for all of it.  

8. what’s your general temperament like?

i’m either mellow and chill or wild and weird. there is no in-between.

9. something you want to get better at?

my mentality. in general really. but something i’ve been struggling with a lot recently is not being able to not do anything. i love having lazy days i do. they allow me to relax and take a break from things that have been stressing me out. but the next day when I get back into it and start to get things done... I put myself down about taking a day off. about wasting time when i could’ve gotten so much done. this mentality is such a toxic one and I hate that I have it. I hate that I always have to be productive to consider myself useful. I hate that I can’t relax and enjoy myself anymore without my brain going into overdrive to tell me how much of a fucking waste of oxygen I am. I was very near to tears a couple of days ago because I took a few hours off of schoolwork bcuz I had a migraine and the whole time my brain wouldn’t shut up you’re wasting time you could be done with so many assignments by now you could be doing useful things right now you don’t know how to do jack shit why the fuck are you even in school if you’re not going to study why is mom spending valuable money on your education when you can’t fucking stick to your fucking schedule fuck

i hate that i have that mentality. and i would just like it to kindly fuck off.

10. something popular everyone else likes but you don’t?

fuck... ummmmmmm... i think it’d be easier for me to tell you something i like that is underrated or unknown... 

oh! um ferris beuller? that john hughes movie with matthew broderick. i mean, i like the movie, i just don’t love it like everyone seems to. it’s a nice light movie about teenagers skipping school and having fun. but i don’t like ferris bcuz he comes off as a sort of douche. escpecially towards his friend cameron, who very clearly has mental health issues that ferris tends to brush off quite a lot. so i don’t really understand why people rave about it so much.

11. before consuming books/movies, do you read reviews, or do you like going in blind?

I, for the most part, go in blind. I have a tendency to put things on my list, to eventually watch/read, because I hear good things about them or I myself just would like to consume the content, but a never get to it immediately. I get to it months later, sometimes a year or two later, when I’ve more often than not forgotten all about anything I’ve heard about it. but even then, I don’t generally read reviews because I don’t really care what other people think of it. The only people’s opinions I care about are my friends and family because I like to discuss the content I consume with people close to me. Especially if I feel strongly about said content. so, no, i don’t seek out reviews. it’s usually that i happen upon reviews and them i’m like ‘good to know i guess?’ i don’t rely on critics cuz critics sometimes don’t know what Good Content is

tagging @mllebabushkat @sengad-apollo @hannahdearr and also @kizunah if you wanna do it again and also @demfeeeels if you can dig out of your grave for a bit  : ) and here are my questions for you:

what is an unknown/underrated piece of media that you love?

what are five things you love about yourself?

do you read comics/graphic novels? any favorites?

what’s top 5 on your playlist right now?

what is something/someone that never fails to make you laugh?

recommend me some of your favorite tv shows/movies/books/music.

an unpopular opinion you have?

favorite disney soundtrack?

favorite word from your native language? (i’m stealing one of mariam’s question bcuz i love)

what makes your heart go mushy?

top 5 tropes you live for?