#also I need 2-3 days to process my grief over [REDACTED]
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cdyssey · 2 months ago
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Agatha All Along (1.05) Reactions:
THESE CREEPY ASS ANIMAL WITCHES
“… because her own mother tried to have her executed.” Defending her ex-wife <3333
“Are you really defending a noted serial killer, you creepy lurker?” KQKSKJDWIJEJS, never change, Jen
“When Agatha murdered her sister witches, she spared their young children.” Agatha has a noted/known soft spot for children.
LMAO, AGATHA RUNNING IN LIKE A BAT OUT OF HELL. “Whoooooa, the moral of the story, kids, is always finish what you started. Also, mercy is overrated.”
I fucking love her so much
“All right, everybody. Pack up your shit. Let’s go!”
Rio being the only one who agrees with Teen suggesting the broom thing.
There being no question that Agatha and Rio are going to exchange brooms. They just DO it. love that Agatha makes rio’s pretty as well
Lilia, criticizing Jen’s broom: “You could have done better.” KQOWOFSJS. All these catty ass witches.
love Teen and Alice’s friendship.😭
The witches flying during a Blood Moon, and they’re all so happy omfggggg. That’s my coven of mothers (and one teenage boy).
AGATHA LOOKING BACK AT RIOOOOOO AUGHSHSHHSHS
SLUMBER PARTY FITS OMGGGGGGG. 80s???? 90s???
I LOVE LILIA’S HAIR
AGATHA’S TRIAL ALREADY??? HELLO??? I thought they’d keep that in their pocket until later in the season.
“And who better than to commune with the dead than someone who’s put so many in the grave?” Rio says with a smirk. Work and play.
“Do not speak over each other.” / [All the witches start speaking over each other.] lmfao
Jen @ Mrs. Hart: “Hey, girl. Feeling better?” AKqoqodjwiowkwjs I would die for her actually
Alice holding Jen by the shoulders 🥹
KATHRYN’S MRS. HART IMPRESSION.
“BAKING CASSEROLES, LINKING IN TO CONSPIRACY THEORIES ON FACEBOOK, DRINKING BEFORE NOON”
AGATHA BEING AN ASSHOLE AOQOWKDJDJSJ. goddamn I love her
“She’s just scared.” Rio clocking Agatha’s shit so easily. When Agatha’s scared, she absolutely puts on a repulsive performance to hide that very fact.
The reluctance in Agatha’s voice when she has to do it for real this time. Hhhghhhhh
“D-E-A-T-H.” Cue Rio laughing.
Agatha being the first to let go out of fear aufhshhshhhhhhhhh
“I hated this the first time!” Lilia’s already seen this particular trial in her premonitions.
HHHHHHHGH, the coven immediately turning on Agatha
“I mean, or we could just slit her throat.” she really loves threatening her wife with knives. <3
“When people ask me why I don’t have female friends.” Lmao, it’s because you’re always in psychosexual homoerotic rivalries with them. Hope that helps, Agatha. <3
FUCKING AGATHA JUMPSCARE GODDAMN
Sweetheart, you okay?” LAOQOWKWJDJEIWIEE
AGATHAS FUCKING MOTHER
“Hey, Mom. It was nice having you in my body for a second there. I’ve never felt so close to you before.” Agatha sounds so young and childish here, and I think that’s exactly the point, both of Kathryn’s acting choices here and the setting of the trial. Agatha is being taken back to her teenage years in a sense where so much of trauma began
Rio, more angry than we’ve ever heard her before: “No, no way!”
“A minute ago, you were ready to slit her throat.” Bc it’s foreplay for Agathario, Jen. Keep up!!
“Yeah, well, her mother can’t have her.” FUCK YES
goddamn, this really is Regina and Cora mills all over again, down to the ghost possession story
“Mom?” The fragile way that Agatha says it.
“Why do you hate me still?”
“You were born evil. I ought to have killed you the moment you left my body” FUCK OFF. NO ONE IS BORN EVIL
Agatha reflexively starts to tear up and Rio looks down. And the rest of the coven sees what clearly made Agatha Harkness too
Agatha fucking BEGGING them not to leave her
“I can be good.” DIDN’T SHE SAY THIS WHEN THEY TRIED TO EXECUTE HER SHUT UP
SOBBING ALICE TRYING TO PROTECT HER. AGATHA DRAINING ALICE. I CAN’T NO NO NO WHAT
AGATHA’S FUCKING SON, CONFIRMING HE’S DEAD
MAMA! STOP!
SOBBING???????
ALICE FUCKING DEAD.
I CAN’T DO THIS
NO
AGATHA GOING TO ALICE IN SHOCK UUGGGHHGFFFFFGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGG AND TEEN REJECTING HER AND—
FUCK I CAN’T BELIEVE ALICE IS GONE GODDAMMIT. SHE JUST BROKE HER FAMILY CURSE FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Agatha alone, and she’s got a bit of Alice’s powers.
“I couldn’t… I couldn’t control it.” And Agatha swears she’s not lying to him. I think I believe her—that she currently can’t control her own ability kicking in when she’s blasted with powers and that what happened to Alice was an accident, but I equally think that she instinctively and automatically ENJOYS the sensation of the absorption/draining. Very much like a vampire or a succubus—when the power starts flowing, animal instinct takes over.
AGATHA SNICKERING. OH, SHE’S ABOUT TO READ HIM
IS KATHRYN HAHN THAT MUCH SHORTER THAN JOE LOCKE LMAO
“YOU’RE SO MUCH LIKE YOUR MOTHER” YES OMGGGGGG
IT’S BILLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYY
AND SHE WALKS OFF CUNTILY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Okay, but serious side note here. I think this particular confrontation is in conversation w/ Agatha pretending to be possessed by Mrs. Hart earlier in the episode. When she’s scared/vulnerable, she puts on a show. And the moment when Teen indexes that he doesn’t believe she’s telling the truth about her powers, she LEANS into the villainy. She digs her heels in. It’s protection. It’s control. It’s facade.
JEN AND LILIA THROWING HER INTO THE QUICKSAND. BILLY BLASTING THEM
HOLY FUCK
NOT THE BILLIE EILISH NEEDLE DROP OHBMY GOD?
WHY IS THE EPISODE OVER WHAT
AND WHERE DID RIO GO OOIUFHHSHSHS!!!!!!!!
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shardminds · 5 years ago
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fortune favours the brave
pairing: emma swan/killian jones rated: m (for language & depiction of injury & just to be safe) wc: 5189 pacific rim!au
She passes the pseudo-drift but Killian can’t quite meet her eyes afterwards and Emma catches herself wondering, with clenched fists, if it’s all worth it.
just a warning, this is an open-ended work, meaning the ending is up to your own interpretation and i most likely will not be writing anything else to clarify... unless i decide to have another crack at this au down the line and completely rewrite the whole thing but i am a lazy bitch above all else with too many things to do so please don't get your hopes up!
my initial tag for this was "dealing with the weight of a neurological bond that reveals a lot more about yourself than you’d like." but ao3 said it was too long
this was intended as a birthday present to myself but it's 12 days late and i won't apologise.
also available on ao3 ♠
@artistic-writer is my saviour and i love her.
As soon as the pincer hits her spine, the simulation is over. Quicker than death could ever have captured her, quicker than the pain she was expecting in her lower back, quicker than blinking past a fallen beast and thinking it long past dead. If it were real, she wouldn’t have to deal with the disappointment of her superiors as they marked another tally in the opposite column of their tablets.
Kaiju: 3, Swan: 0.
Pixels dissipate into the air, audios and visuals power down as the relay gel leaks from her display, Killian sighs over the comms and the four walls of the training centre scream failure. Unclasping the plug at her neck, she collapses to the floor. Defeated.
“If your intention was to get paralysed, love, congratulations.” He’s exasperated, words clipped, and she knows he’s probably running his hand through his hair in that way he does or rolling his eyes or praying for this to be over. She can picture it so well because she’s been there, supervising rangers through the same process. That had been her job, her safe space. Then Marshal Mills had coerced her into a compatibility trial with the promise of a bigger bunk and a night off with the last bottle of bourbon on deck. Suddenly, nowhere was safe anymore. “It’s just a simple test,” she’d said, rolling her eyes at Emma’s reluctance to even try. “What harm can it do?”
If he catches the curses under her breath as she stands, he doesn’t let on.
Killian had managed to pass her simulated drift space on the second attempt—eviscerating a CAT 3 with ease and ignoring the distractions along the way. He didn’t talk about what stopped him the first time. Neither did she.
She was not so lucky, struggling not to forget herself in the memories of his past. Each step deeper into the consciousness he’d moulded dragged her further away from the task at hand. Each step closer to finding out what keeps Killian Jones awake at night is a step away from truly knowing him. She felt it all. His pain, grief and loss coming in overwhelming waves, only serving to intensify her own. Each time she failed, she understood him a little bit better and lost herself a little bit more.
Robin said it’s the trauma that helps their compatibility and the resilience in light of such pain. Will said it’s because they’re both insufferable cunts.
You can’t choose your drift partner.
“Again.” Adjusting the helmet slightly, she pulls up her vitals on the inner screen. BP a little high, heart rate too, brainwaves stable. Good enough. If she could just get past the random-access brain impulse triggers, the lure of Killian’s fabricated conflicts, she’d be showering the fabricated city in fabricated Kaiju Blue.
(Of course, she’d never really do that. Regina doesn’t need a reason to resent her.)
“Swan, take five.” The comm in her inner ear buzzes. Killian, again. There’s a tension to his tone, as if he could snap at a moment's notice. It’s not easy, having someone else inside your head—even when it’s not real. It’s worse when every inch of it is projected in agonisingly high definition to your commanding officers. Emma’s been living through his trauma while he’s been forced to watch it back, time and time again. She’ll get it next time.
Next time.
Always next time.
“No, count me down.”
“Swan—”
“My vitals are fine! No bleeds, no dizziness, motor function all good.” The CNS link connects to the back of her neck with a twist of her wrist and a dull click. Power vibrates through the plug suit, humming like the anticipation Emma can feel beneath her own skin. “One more try, I’m almost there.”
There’s no response from Killian. No quip or complaint. He’s silent as Emma closes her eyes and opens them to the darkness of the drift. The next voice she hears is Robin’s.
“Five.”
Her world is blue. Warped. Memories zipping past her that she does and doesn’t remember. Emma recognises one woman’s face from her previous pseudo-drifts. She has a name somewhere.
“Four.”
The woman walks off to some kind of middle distance, between nothing and nowhere. She indicates for Emma to follow with the crook of her finger and a smile.
“Three.”
It’s not Emma she’s seeing.
“Stop chasing it, Emma. Two.”
Taking a breath, Emma wills away the apparition, tuning in to the pounding of her own heartbeat and that of someone else’s — Killian’s, strong and steady. It grounds her.
“Prepare for Neural Handshake.”
When the Kaiju pincer swings for her, she slices it clean off.
She passes the pseudo-drift but Killian can’t quite meet her eyes afterwards and Emma catches herself wondering, with clenched fists, if it’s all worth it.
//
A CAT 3 and two CAT 2’s attack what’s left of San Francisco a week later in the largest triple event in recorded history and yes, it’s definitely worth it.
Ruby and Graham are deployed in Lone Wolf, along with two Jaegers from Alaska. The fight, like all fights, is raw and too close. Always too close. They return half a day later, lucky to have made it out with their lives. The bags under Jefferson’s eyes carry the weight of the world as he reports back to the bridge with the news.
They’ll never pilot again.
Killian finds her later, sat atop Frozen Serenity with a half-empty hip flask and a cigarette. He doesn’t question her or the tears she wears. He holds her, one arm wrapping around Emma’s shoulders, pulling her into his chest. It’s too close, too much but not enough. It’s times like this—times of wordless understanding—that she’s glad of the bond they supposedly have.
Thankfully, he doesn’t waste his words with reassurance. Regina had spent the last thirty minutes on the comms for everyone to hear. The threat was eliminated; victory, but at what cost? Ruby and Graham had been wheeled in on gurneys, surrounded by medics and techs and escorted directly to isolation. Their Jaeger followed shortly after, complete with thick gashes to its middle and a viciously pierced conn-pod leaking rivulets of coolant and Kaiju blood. It didn’t take Emma long to see why they’d ushered the pilots away.
Sneaking off had been a non-issue.
“Next time,” The warmth of his body offers only slight comfort from the chill of the hangar but she’s grateful for it. “It’ll be us.”
“We might not even drift yet. The simulation is nothing like the real thing.” The lump in her throat has her choking around the words. The fragility of it all should frighten her, but it doesn’t. She’s not scared. There’s no time for fear.
“We will.”
“How do you know?”
“It’s called trust.” When he smiles, sad but hopeful, the tears come again.
It’s all worth it, even if she loses herself in the process.
//
Jolly Roger, a Mark 3 with a history of fallen pilots, had been in pretty bad shape when Emma had seen it come through the east coast bunker a year ago. With a compromised pod and basically no left side, it was a mess.
Will had already sized the wreck up for parts before it’d even docked in the hangar.
“There’s no way it’ll run again. Core to Wolf, pod fixed up for Snow’s Mark 4, shocks to whoever needs them most and the rest for scraps and refurbs.” He’d said, around a mouthful of instant mac and cheese. Emma rolled her eyes, grabbing a bite of her own meagre rations. “Bet as much as you want, you know I’m right.”
After six months, when Marshal Mills announced they needed a co-pilot for Jolly, Emma collected her prize with a smile and a disgruntled “Fuck off.” from the mechanic.
Seeing it now, all shiny and new, with a fresh core, updated weapon systems and a slick paint job was like looking at a different machine entirely. Killian has the same awestruck glaze to his expression that she has.
He says something under his breath that sounds like “I missed you.”
//
Three days later, atop the bunker looking out at the wasteland the eastern seaboard has become, Killian finds her again. The horizon is permanently tinged green these days, thick with smog rising from the polluted city that used to be Boston. It’s something else now, something new entirely. New York had really done a number on the east coast.
“So,” he starts, a six pack in his good hand and a thick file—her file—in his mechanical one. “It seems that the fate of the earth relies on us getting intimate, love.”
Emma shrugs his comment off with an eye roll. “In your dreams.”
“In my dreams, we wouldn’t be drinking this backwash,” she catches the bundle of cans as it falls to her lap and pulls two free of the casing. Killian slumps down beside her, a welcome warmth against her side. He’s always warm. “And you’d be wearing a lot less.”
“Pervert.” Her cheeks flush from the windchill and not because of the wink he sends her way as he takes a can from her lap.
He shrugs, gulping back his beer. “I’ve been called a lot worse.”
“Why does that not surprise me?”
“I doubt anything could, lass.”
He reads in relative silence, which Emma appreciates, only pausing to ask questions at the redacted statements in her story. There’s no point in hiding anything from him now—soon, he’ll see it all. There’s something about Killian Jones that she trusts and she’s not exactly sure why.
“You were there? In New York?” He thumbs the report sheet, filled with more censoring than words. She doesn’t remember much of it; being eighteen, the toils of pregnancy, wrongful imprisonment, the first Kaiju attack on the east coast, holding her child to her chest as the walls crumbled. The memories are all so distant, it almost feels like someone else lived them.
Emma nods. “Unfortunately.”
Killian doesn’t push for the details; all the relevant ones are written on the sheet he’s holding. How they’d found her bleeding beneath rubble and dust, clutching the bundle of blankets and the body within. There hadn’t been time for a funeral.
She’s shaking when he takes her hand.
“It was my first deployment. On a CAT 4, no less.” He traces circles around her knuckles as if they’re anything but strangers. She doesn’t have it in her heart to stop him. “Cataclysm, they called it. The ugliest bloody thing I’d ever seen. Liam, the comedian he is—was, spent the whole fight calling it all kinds of names as we tore it to pieces bit by bit.” He takes another sip of his can, eyes locked on the horizon. “I felt him die that day.”
His thumb doesn't stop tracing its pattern, but she grips his hand tighter—part shock, part understanding.
“Jewel never stood a chance. The emp left us wide open and the blasted thing used its last breath to launch at the conn-pod and—”
“You don’t have to, Killian.” She whispers, beer forgotten at their feet. “You don’t have to relive it.”
“But I do. Every time I step foot in the hangar, I relive it. Every time I drift, or spar or train. Every time I look in the mirror I see his face staring back at me.” He sighs, letting his posture slip further. He’s no longer a Ranger. He’s a lost boy. The grief he carries, the guilt, is something she recognises. “I miss him, Emma, and there’s nothing I can do about that.”
Wind blows, alarms ring, sun filters through the murky atmosphere and casts them both in its golden glow and Emma Swan pulls him in for a hug.
He stiffens in her embrace before leaning into it, letting the tension dissipate beneath her touch. It’s intimate in a way that doesn’t need words and her breath catches at the sight of a teardrop on his cheek.
Putting space between them again is hard, but necessary.
“I know you’ve probably heard this a thousand times, but you better be prepared to hear it a thousand more. It’s not your fault. It was never your fault. It will never be your fault. We’re Rangers. We’re disposable. The world is ending and we’re the first line of defence. If we fall—” He’s watching her so intently, hanging on her every word.
There’s no way to soften the blow of a death sentence.
“We’re going to die in a Jaeger, Killian, that much is inevitable. We won’t grow old. We won’t pass in our sleep. We’ll go screaming at the hands of a Kaiju and, I don’t know about you, but I plan on taking a fair share of those fuckers with me in the process.”
A nod.
A squeeze.
A gulp.
He’s still holding her hand when they return to the artificial warmth of the hangar.
//
He used to drink black coffee, dark and bitter. She hates it, preferring sweetness over caffeination in her warm beverages but getting her own would require a trip to the cafeteria earlier than she’d like to be awake. A few seconds of grimacing over the taste is worth it for the extra half hour of sleep. Killian’s an early riser—of course, he is. It’s a wonder they’re compatible at all.
Killian initially tried to put up a fight over it, hold it out of her reach like kids on the playground or finish it off before Emma could even think of crawling out of her quarters, but she wore him down, little by little.
They’re working on Jolly with Will when she takes a sip, stealing the travel mug from his hand and already half wincing for the unsweetened assault. When surprisingly palatable coffee hits her tongue, she almost chokes. It’s not half bad; no acrid punch of burnt grounds, no grainy aftertaste. Instead, it’s sweet. Creamy. Not what she was expecting at all.
“What’s this?” She takes a sniff at the lid incredulously. Is that… syrup?
“According to Ms Lucas, this is what poses as a caramel latte these days. Filled to the brim with sugar, spice and all things nice, just how you like it.” Will hands him a tablet, outlining the Jaeger’s current specifications. Emma understands enough of it to get by—she’s more attuned to reading neural charts, not the gibberish the engineers put out—but Killian revels in the details. He doesn’t even look her way as he speaks, fully engrossed in the graphs, comparisons and visuals. It also means he doesn’t notice Emma eyeing up how good he looks with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a grease stain on his left cheek. Just the right amount of dishevelled. “Is there any way we can drop a few tonnes to help increase speed and manoeuvrability?”
Will peers at the tablet, overseeing the stats with a critical eye. “No, mate. Not without losing vital armouring.”
“What about swapping out the nuclear core?” Killian hums, swiping to the next screen.
“Don’t be daft, Killian. It’s brand new.”
“The arc-whip?”
“I’m gonna cut in and say no on that one.” Emma interjects, surprised that she even managed to drag her attention away from the warm, sweet beverage in her hands or the enigma of a man that let her take it. The arc-whip is her preferred weapon—combining both distance and close combat, great for the CAT 2’s and smaller CAT 3’s that like to stay just out of reach or dragging back the larger beasts from getting further inland. She’s the one that suggested it be added to Jolly’s arsenal in the first place.
“Come on, love.” Handing her the tablet and tapping a few menus, Killian points out Jolly’s stats without it. Their speed would be improved and their power longevity, but they’d be sacrificing their range completely. “Having an arc-whip and a plasma cannon is overkill.”
The mechanic chuckles, coming to her other side and throwing an arm around their shoulders. “Technically, the plasma cannon is overkill anyway. Massive power drain.”
“Don’t you start.” Killian bats his arm away and Will cocks an eyebrow in challenge.
“Just because I’m right.”
Before either of them can respond, the hangar shudders as alarms blare. The alarm they all dread.
The Breach.
//
The CAT 2—Axefury—with armour piercing spines and nasty blade-like mandibles, emerges just off the coast of Florida, stalking towards the shore.
Frozen Serenity is deployed, piloted by sisters Anna and Elsa.
The fight takes an hour.
Killian brings her another coffee as they watch the battle from the command centre. He doesn’t say a word, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as she tenses against the cold realisation.
It could’ve been them.
Next time, it will be.
//
When he knocks her on her ass, straddling her waist with his sparring staff pressed to her throat, Killian’s eyes are the bluest she’s ever seen, and it takes her a second to remember where they are. He smirks, allowing her space to breathe while keeping her thoroughly pinned down.
“Normally, I’d prefer to do other more enjoyable activities with a woman on her back.” With a voice like that, velvet and grit, Emma’s not sure if she wants to push him away or pull him closer. The watchful eye of Marshal Mills keeps her straight. The last thing anyone needs is a show. She struggles just enough to make him cocky before retaliating, using his own weight against him.
In a heartbeat, he’s the one on his back, head caught in a lock between Emma’s thighs. In the time it takes for him to realise what’s going on, eyes widening as he realises where he is, it’s too late. His weapon clatters to the edge of the crash mat, useless.
“For future reference,” She pants, squeezing her legs tighter until Killian taps out against the floor. “I prefer to be on top.”
He laughs and, despite the patrol alarm blaring down the hall and Regina’s eye roll, the world feels a little lighter.
//
When they drift in Jolly for the first time, the phantom woman from the pseudo-drift is nowhere to be seen. There’s a blip where Killian gets caught up in visions of destruction and earthquakes and rivers of blue eroding the streets of New York, but just as Emma feels the echoes of her memories in his mind, they’re gone. He’s in her head. An uncomfortable yet reassuring presence that she never thought she’d be able to endure again.
“Neural bridge initiated and holding strong. Well done, guys.” Robin chirps over the speakers, dragging them out of the initial drift space and back to their shared reality. She lifts her left arm as Killian lifts his right and they join the jaeger’s metallic palms in a salute that rumbles through the bowels of the hangar.
Cheers erupt from the comm lines as scientists and pilots and soldiers line the walkways and balconies to celebrate their achievement.
She can feel the haze of his irritation through the link.
“We’re another shot at hope for them.” Her uncalibrated right-hand takes his uncalibrated left wrist just above the brace of his prosthetic. He doesn’t flinch but his thoughts stutter, interlaced with images of her soft smile and memories of each time they’d sparred, each stolen hour on the rooftops, each close encounter, each moment that could’ve been an almost, or a maybe. Emma pauses just long enough to imagine What if?
She shakes them away. They owe each other that much.
“We’re a suicide mission.” He’s right and his voice buzzes in the back of her skull. If the comm deck picked up on his words, they don’t respond.
“Yeah,” she lets his arm fall back to his side, making sure her left side—the one that’s wired into the eight thousand tonne government-approved death machine—stays relatively still. “But it’s worth it.”
“Is it?”
She can’t tell the difference between his words and his thoughts right now.
Static crackles in the conn-pod before Robin’s voice calls out again. “Ready to take her for a spin?”
//
She kisses him, with trembling palms pressed to his chest. Because she wants to. Because she can. Because, more than anything else, she isn’t ready to die. Not now. He is slow to respond, one hand on her shoulder ready to put distance between them at a moment's notice, the other at her waist, pulling her closer. The corridor leading to their quarters is empty and, beneath the harsh light, he tastes like the coffee they’d shared for breakfast.
He doesn’t push her away. She’s grateful for that.
The absence of Killian in her head should be a relief but it isn’t. It feels… empty. The absence of a presence that had made itself at home. She’d worked with rangers for years, ever since the hangar took her in, learning the in’s and out’s of the neural bridge and working to better align pilots with an initial pseudo-drift before putting them through the real thing.
She’d never expected to like it.
It’s exhilarating.
The expiry date they have hanging over their heads is unavoidable now. They’re compatible, truly compatible, doubting that is no use to anyone and despite whatever lead them both to the corps, whatever it is she catches glimpses of when they drift, she trusts him.
Fingers still trembling and head thick with fog, Emma trusts him.
“That was—”
A mistake.
Long overdue.
A one-time thing.
Just the beginning.
“Worth it.”
//
“Emma—”
“Be quiet.”
She snakes a hand around his waist, using his surprise to yank him closer into the alcove, away from prying eyes. Their dark uniforms blend in the shadows. Chest to chest like this, Emma can barely catch her breath. The cold steel pipe against her back does nothing to dissuade the heat he’s putting out—seriously, how is he always warm? It’s impossible to avoid his gaze either, the intensity of it only magnified with their proximity.
There’s questions there—so many questions—but he doesn’t have to ask them. She knows.
Killian’s tongue darts out to wet his lips.
She knows.
David and Snow walk past none the wiser, caught up in a discussion about something or other. Emma can’t focus enough to listen in, too distracted by everything in her body that screams for her to pull Killian closer and slam their mouths together until they forget about the rest. She holds her breath until the other rangers round the corner at the end of the hall.
“Mills hasn’t cleared Humbert or Lucas for visitation. We’ll be turned away.” Killian whispers, mouth so close to her ear that she can feel his words better than hearing them. His cheek catches hers as he pulls back but he doesn’t get far, her hand still pressed to his side, holding him in place. His brows raise in surprise.
Her palm tingles against the empty air when she lets go.
“Let me do the talking.”
He nods, following as she exits into the corridor, only a half-step behind.
//
They don’t have clearance. The med bay doors beep dejectedly as Emma’s ID card fails to pass the security check. Will had promised it would work, he’d sworn. Either he lied, already ratted them out to the Marshal or—
Victor Whale.
“Mills already has her reports delivered to her directly every hour,” he sighs, tugging off his gloves, surgical mask and running a free hand through his hair. Emma can see the dark roots coming through. There’s no market for salon-quality peroxide at the end of the world, apparently. “With the intention of alleviating the need for rangers like yourselves to check in. Can’t you go be annoying somewhere else? I don’t have time to file insubordination paperwork, I’m already understaffed.”
Killian reaches out, pleading, his eyes wide and blue and honest. He grabs the doctor’s forearm with his mechanical hand.
“Please, mate. Just five minutes.”
Whale’s brow furrows focused on the prosthetic gripping his arm. The fear of disciplinary action outweighs a lot of things in the hangar.
//
She’s pale, too pale, and riddled with tubes and drips and monitors that beep along with the pace of her heart. The burns, blistered and seeping, are tinged blue with the toxic sludge that courses through Kaiju veins. Blue burns, as they’re colloquially referred, aren’t uncommon. There are ointments and salves to calm the low-level contact burns and sprays to neutralise the toxins in the acid. What’s left of the governments have put extensive measures in place to ensure that stuff like this doesn’t happen to the general public.
They don’t seem to care for rangers.
As Ruby’s skin sloughs from the slightest friction of the sterile sheets, Emma can feel the first clutches of fear curl around her throat.
Corpselike. That’s the only word that comes to mind. Ruby, once so full of life, has never looked so… not, and Emma can’t help but fall into step with the ventilator that’s currently breathing for her as if somehow it makes a difference. The steady whirr of the machine only working to wind up the anxieties simmering beneath the surface of her skin.
Next time, it’ll be them.
Next time, it’ll be her.
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.
“We’re having to keep her under.” Someone —Victor? — hums, ignoring them both to look over the digitised chart at the foot of her bed. “There’s a lot of irrevocable damage that we’re still looking into while repairing what we can externally.”
Inhale.
“What about Gra— Ranger Humbert?” Killian's hand hasn’t left hers since they entered and, for what it’s worth, she’s thankful for the anchor and the ever-present warmth he offers. His presence is grounding and his words reflect her thoughts when she can’t quite reach her own.
Exhale.
It’s too much.
Inhale.
“More of the same”
Exhale.
They never should’ve come
//
His lips taste of salt.
The inevitability of death.
It burns.
“I don’t want to lose this.” she pants, soft against Killian’s lips as he smiles and steals it away. Like the future they don’t have. That she so painfully wished they could have. “I—”
His kisses trail to her ear, each one as gentle as the last. Too soft, too delicate. It terrifies and excites her how something as small as a kiss can melt her resolve to nothing. Any shadow of doubt disappearing with each step they take closer to the inevitable. After everything that had happened, from sneaking into the med bay, drowning the images with the last of that damn bottle of bourbon that started all this and sparring until they were both bruised and beaten and breathless, sex had been the last thing on her mind. It had crept up on her, crept up on them both, and it was impossible to deny.
That first rooftop rendezvous, first spar, first kiss, all those weeks ago, had cemented this. She can see that now.
Closing what little distance there is left between them, Killian walks her backwards until her thighs bump against the solid table behind them. “You won’t, love. I’ve got you.”
Each touch, each glance, each gasp is another goodbye.
His prosthetic rests on her waist as his other makes light work of the fastenings of her uniform, and she urges him on with a moan. She���s thankful they made it back to his quarters. They won’t make it to the bed.
Emma searches for answers as he pulls off his shirt, praying something in his eyes will reassure her that this—whatever this is—is okay, that they’re not terrible people for finding something worth fighting for at the end of the earth, anything to provide even a modicum of hope that maybe, just maybe, they’ll survive just long enough to have a chance at finding out if it is. She clutches at his shoulders, with nails biting into his skin, and breathes.
She doesn’t find the answers. Instead, she finds herself.
Scared and afraid, clinging to the last comfort she has left.
Three words bloom, fade and crumble in her mind, as fragile as a leaf on the wind and, before she can even speak them, Killian nods.
“I know.”
Somewhere deep inside her chest, behind broken walls and the rubble of a past life, something long since broken, beats.
//
Emma wakes up to warmth. An all encompassing warmth surrounding her so completely, an aura of heat welding together the cracks that had once debilitated her heart. So familiar, and pure and yet so foreign at the same time.
Each beat of her heart echoed by a shadow.
Each exhale mirrored by that of another, a soft caress against her nape.
The solid and comforting press of a body—his body—against her back, bringing forth memories of the night previous so slowly, like a crack in a dam; first a drip and then a flood. The synchronicity. The passion. The mutual need to just Be.
The absence of all thought except one.
Life is just too fucking short.
As if summoned by her mental recollection, Killian’s arm wraps around her waist. His lips ghost against the skin of her shoulder blade and the kiss he presses to her neck brings a smile to her face.
“Good morning, Swan.” He purrs, voice gravelly and wrapped in sleep. Damn, if Emma had only known he sounded like that first thing sooner—
The thought catches her off guard.
It’s so… normal. Domestic.
She could get used to it. She wants to get used to it.
“Mor—”
The spell shatters. The facade peels away to reveal the truth and the bliss that had wrapped her up in its glow is gone. Reality hits.
The blood-curdling scream of the one alarm they pray will never ring.
The Breach.
Robin’s voice screeches out over the comms in a panicked shout, followed by the calm and commanding call of Marshal Mills. Her own name and rank is called, along with Killian’s. Emma’s blood runs cold when the realisation hits.
A CAT 5.
All units to report.
Approaching New York.
Killian doesn’t move for what seems like an eternity, lips still pressed to her skin in an everlasting kiss, as if time has somehow warped around this very moment, stretching seconds into minutes, hours. Allowing them a chance to come to terms with what must happen next.
Their fates were sealed the second they stepped foot in the hangar.
Emma wrapped in a hospital gown. Killian in a battered, blood-stained plug suit.
“It’s okay.” He whispers, already drowned out by the blaring siren that fills every corner of the room. Emma can’t tell if he’s saying it for her sake or his own.
When she turns to him, pulling herself upright in the process and letting the cold of his quarters seep into her bare chest, he’s smiling. It’s by no means her favourite smile—wide and full of laughter—but it’s something and, for some crazy reason, she believes in it.
She believes in them.
“Fortune favours the brave.”
  ////
tagging a few of y’all!  @thisonesatellite​ @teamhook​ @kmomof4​ @superchocovian​ @itsfabianadocarmo​ @thisonesatellite @darkcolinodonorgasm @carpedzem @hollyethecurious 
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