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citialiin · 5 years ago

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THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @forseenclade thank you ! man i am so bad at doing memes. tagging: @blossomingbeelzebug @zhrets @lupichorous @dansiere yayayayayayayaya

My muse is: canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated [ z/iggy stardust is DEFINITELY not my original character, but 683 is, and every single part of how i rp ziggy from his backstory to his personality was made up by me. that being said, ziggy is still a character that exists in media. ]

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ im pretty sure ziggy is tied with the thin white duke as one of b*wie’s most famous fictional personas? ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom? YES ? / NO / IDK.

Is your character considered strong in the fandom? YES / NO / IDK.

Are they underrated? YES / NO / IDK. [ maybe a little overrated ]

Were they relevant for the main story? YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG.

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO.

How’s their reputation? GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ celebrity rock god of limitless talent vs inevitable overrated washup. most celebrities are polarizing anyways ]

How strictly do you follow canon? — there isnt much canon to go off of i think? the album barely even states if ziggy is an alien and b*wie himself got really wishy washy about it (sometimes saying z is a human who was contacted by aliens, he was an alien himself, etc). i dont think we know anything about him besides what he looks like (red hair / weird eyes / pale / “well hung” lmao) and he has a band called the spiders from mars, he plays the guitar left handed, he’s bisexual + androgynous, and he’s charming and popular with the teens but inevitably is a victim of his own ego. and he dies. that too. but that’s literally it! we know Nothing else about him. so i filled in all the gaps because my brain has worms. theres a little bit of the story that verges on fantasy (that he’s some sort of messiah messenger for “the infinites,” whatever the fuck THAT means, david) so i nix that because i prefer hard scifi. and theres one BIG part that i just ... deleted out of his canon, in that the world is ending in 5 years in his timeline, and he’s like ... aware of this ? but that’s dumb and confusing. i legit dont care anymore. my OC now.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals. — im so embarrassed i know i could be genuine and actually try but i have brain blockajjolajlakala33lak33klak333ak3jka3akjj323j3 i guess it’s like ... ziggy is truly the ultimate expression OF humanity because he reveals everything both wrong and right about the human condition, he literally embodies the best of humanity and the worst at the same time, he’s a really interesting critique on the idea of genuineness/earnestness vs commercalism in art, the perils of fame, and also how humans are so inherently corrupting? a lot of thematic stuff i like exploring is like what is innate to humans vs what is learned behavior, what are things that humans do naturally that ziggy mimics out of his desire to be like us? i think he has a really good story arc -- he went from being a literal nameless CLONE in a society full of pragmatic forward thinking science-oriented people to a sell out rockstar celebrity in a society of people that value individualism and self expression and art, but in the process completely lost his mind and himself and gave into the worst that humanity has to offer like rampant selfishness, drug abuse, self destructive tendencies, etc. characters changing is always interesting and ziggy truly changes for the worse -- but he is never just black and white, he was never good and then suddenly evil, he just was always the same person putting on different facades and trying to be himself by constructing an identity that maybe was who he wanted to be versus who he actually is. i dont know what im talking about. hes just an alien trying to be too hard to be human in all the wrong ways. i just like how “gray” ziggy is. he isnt good or bad, he can be very nice and he can be very mean, he’s overtly showboating confident but at the same time deeply afflicted with self-consciousness (why tf else would anyone be So obsessed with how they present themselves?). hes an icon of individualism but also commercialism. he’s freakishly alien but is almost more human than humans themselves. he struggles as lot in his head -- which makes for interesting writing, i guess !! Im so emabrrased im not going to go back and read what i wrote so if i typoed dont look at me

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?). — i think ziggy comes across as really mean and nothing else. his horrible bitchy rudeness comes across as hee hee hoo hoo sassy isnt he a rascal when it’s supposed to be more like ... he’s so far gone into the celebrity delusion he’s conflated aggressive rudeness with charmingness because no one told him otherwise and everyone worships him to the point where he’s just given into the delusion that he can do no wrong. i think theres the general simplification problem that happens with a lot of fictional characters, it’s easy to see him as just a whacky sassy glittery quirky rockstar when i guess it avoids the inherent tragedy of like ... everything else about him. his totally fake and false sense of identity built up from superficial things like fame and labels and stardom. maybe my version of ziggy is just too weirdly depressing and sad when i know his original iteration wasn’t quite so ... grim. im not very sure tbh.

What inspired you to rp your muse? — hmmm ... a lot of things! i just really got into b*wie stuff in early 2019, i’ve ALWAYS loved aliens and sci-fi, and i was really shocked that db sets up such great visual storytelling potential but does it through music. i just really liked ziggys “story” and i like any chance to think about aliens so i just got invested into piecing together a little backstory for him using, like, the cumulative knowledge of literally every other piece of science fiction ive ever consumed in my life. this was summer 2019 when i was making initial pitches for my thesis film, and so i just randomly decided to pitch “animated version of ziggy stardust” as one of the potential ideas. shockingly everyone liked it a lot and so did my professor who thought it was really cool, and then i just ended up sticking with the character and working on him for an entire year. ziggy became my hobby but also my homework. he was such a fun character because everything about him was interesting to me and i had just enough source material to have a starting point but so much room to take him in any direction i wanted to.

What keeps your inspiration going? — honestly, yooooou guyssssss. i have some really amazing fwends that ive met thru here .... and some of our dumb stupid stories have literally become NOVEL length. it just self generates inspiration because you realize the limitless amount of stories you could tell with this one single character when your character enters his story or he enters their story and etc. etc. ive drawn endless amounts of comics and stuff for him ... ziggy is just so endlessly interesting ... cringe be cringed bro but recently (i know this sounds dumb bear with me or die.) ive kind of realized a lot of how i rp z comes as some metaphor for the experience of being an asian immigrant/being asian in the US -- his home “culture” is a lot stricter than the rampant selfish individualism of the usa (he only lives in the uk and usa, so he thinks the whole planet is like this), he’s dissuaded from standing out from his community and his selfishness becomes a community burden rather than a personal flaw, and when he does come to earth, he goes through such awful culture shock, literally nothing makes sense to him and everything is Different. and while some things are different in a Nice way, something things are different in an Awful way, and he’s given the option between losing his true personal identity as an atominan and giving it up to be a human. the allure of being a human is a little too much but losing yourself like this is traumatic, in a way. obvs like ... a little silly and definitely not something that i actively intended to put into his story arc, its just something that fell into place cuz i guess i worked so closely with my own personal experiences and feelings of “alienation” (pun intended) to try to understand how he would feel being a literal alien an shid. its cathartic to write about him. but he also has a lot of my own personal interests just thrown in -- 70s fashion, scifi, science, tryhard implications about human nature, art history, whatever dumb nonsense i get into

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice? YES / NO / SOMETIMES?

Do you frequently write headcanons? YES / NO [ i would prefer information to spring up organically in the story but cuz threads always get dropped i end up just telling people outright. i didnt want anyone to know his home planet/his old name but barely anyone writes enough with ziggy to get to that point to reveal it (i legit managed to do it organically Once) so i just had to write it in a post lmao orz ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO [ wrote a ton of drabbles ! drew a ton of comics! ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO

Are you confident in your portrayal? YES / NO / I DUNNO?

Are you confident in your writing? YES / HAHA NO.

Are you a sensitive person? YES / NO. / IDK ?

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal? — definitely! like i said ... my version of ziggy ended up being the protag of my thesis film and for 1 yr straight his characterization, backstory, design, and even how i wanted to animate his fucking movements (ziggy stardust timing charts.) were beaten to death in a classroom environment, torn apart and rebuilt into something better. had i stayed with what i originally wanted to go with, ziggy would be so different than how i write him 2day. amazingly my pre production professor is a literal two time emmy award winning storyboard artist and animator so he definitely helped me design him (my version of ziggy is meant for ... a cartoon, obviously, not real life) and give him a better backstory? and my post production professor is a retired disney animator who worked on hercules and a bunch of old disney channel shows? had i gone wah wah wah i dont want to hear ur critiques i wouldnt have made him better. if you ever think ziggy seems inconsistent or poorly written ... tell me !! i literally major in ... animation. cartoons. entertainment. my job is to entertain you. if you are not entertained, there is a problem. ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED ????

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character? — I LOVE QUESTIONS? i love ... answering questions ... if you ask me something ill come kiss you.

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why? — sure! i dont know why that would happen, though, because i mean ... he’s an OC. but i gues someone could be like “i feel like this is incongruous to things you’ve previously established in his character” or somethin

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it? — i feel like a lot of b*wie stans would find my version of ziggy weird but i mean thats fine! i guess my goal is to have a well written character, not necessarily an accurate version of ziggy

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it? — if you hate MY version of ziggy thats fine but if u hate ziggy stardust in general (like the bowie concept) then u need some taste what the fuck is cooler than a egomaniac genderless bisexual rockstar alien with red hair? nothing. go back to watching your CW shows you dirty filthy normie

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors? — yes! dm me though. dont clown me on the dash like that. i usually write your replies 12 AM - 4 AM so it’s expected.

Do you think you are easy going as a mun? — hmmm ... maybe! i do like to talk to people and i am VERY nice, trust me, if youre ever sad ill do everything i can to make you feel better. but im quiet! i dont really reach out to people and i tend to just keep to myself. im not very social or extroverted at all haha i barely can make ooc posts without feeling like god’s coming to beat my head in with a brick. im sitting here at 5:30 AM with this meme feeling like if i post it i will die (BUT I MUST)

#a lot of it is under the readmore because these always get so long and mine is long long long long long long long long long long long #ooc #KEEP YOUR 'LECTRIC EYE ON ME ; queue #and thakn you for tagging me ! i like to mkae Words

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angel-deux-writes · 5 years ago

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for the fic meme thing, and here I hope no one has asked this: 1, 17, 26, 28 :'D

I had barely any time yesterday for this, so I’m finishing these off now! Be prepared for a long one!

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

My comfort zone is probably Season 8 canon divergences, at this point. The easiest things I’ve ever written for this pairing have been my “we should kind of forget about season 8″ series stories. They always flow the best, and they’re the quickest to finish once I actually get rolling. There’s a certain amount of bitterness still left in me after Season 8, and so it’s easy to take little jabs at it and keep the tone light and fun even when I’m working with some angsty plots.

I also never thought I’d say this, but: high school/college AUs for Jaime/Brienne are really comfortable for me, too. I mean it’s a tested and true formula: ugly girl and handsome guy. Except Brienne is actually ugly and not just “cute but weird” or wildly unpopular because she has glasses and slightly frizzy hair? I love playing with that!

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Start to finish, absolutely. I tend to flesh out the plot beforehand, so I don’t even do much rearranging once the story is actually done!

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

Does this just mean do I edit my own works? Because yes lmao. I’m very self-critical. I’m an editor irl (technical editor, so like the most boring form of editor), so I tend to be really rigorous with my editing. I write on my phone, so the formatting is all wack and I’m not super careful with typos (especially since I just got a new phone for the first time in 4 years, so my typing is all off!!). My editing schedule is therefore:

1st Pass: format in Word, fix super glaring typos from my clumsy fingers typing on my phone

2nd Pass: content edit. This is typically the most intense edit. This is where I fix story issues or add scenes when I realize that I’m not clear enough with something/want to add more detail. This typically adds a LOT of words to my process (HCM was 197k at the end of the first draft, and it got to almost 300k during the second pass)

3rd Pass: Phone Edit. I typically download the whole story onto Word on my phone (or, with HCM, a few chapters at a time, because otherwise the scrolling is impossible because it’s sO LONG). I’ll read through the chapter and add MORE detail, MORE content. Usually this is just spicing things up a little bit, adding some variety or some humor or more details. Or jazzing up my sentences/rewording things that feel stale or boring. The brief flashback scene in HCM where Robb thinks about he, Sansa, Theon, and Jon playing in the godswood was a Phone Edit addition. I’ve found that editing it on my phone helps because I typically read fic on my phone, and sometimes the change of medium does wonders for my edits (this is why I typically print out drafts of my novels to read them on paper after I’ve done a computer edit, but i’m not doing that for fic! So the phone it is).

4th/5th pass: sometimes only a 4th is needed, but on occasion I go for a 5th. Most HCM chapters get a 5th pass, because anxiety, and I think Two Halves had a lot of 5th passes as well. 5th pass is typically if I’ve received feedback for earlier in the story, and I read the Phone Edit and realize that I “need” to incorporate the feedback into the 4th edit. So I add/alter whatever scenes I need to, and then I give myself a few days and then re-read the chapter for a 5th edit so I can make sure it’s fine. Whichever is the last edit, I read aloud to myself, and then I post it when I’m satisfied. The Robb + Jon scene at the end of the last chapter was altered due to feedback, so it only went through the 5th pass, and I think it definitely shows. I was eager to get the chapter up and announce the hiatus so I could relax lmao.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

Oh god, okay

@agirlnamedkeith writes stories that I’m always almost immediately invested in (usually because she mentions them ahead of time, so i’m already frothing at the mouth for them by the time she posts!) We also have a lot of the same vibes and a lot of the same opinions, so sometimes it’s like “oh wow she’s writing this SPECIFICALLY FOR ME SOMEHOW”

@slipsthrufingers, despite bullying me about the one time I made the best of a horrible choice between two men, and despite having read my old fic 10 years ago, is another one of my faves. She excels at both humor and softness, which are my two favorite things, and I get sucked into her chapters so easily, and can picture everything so vividly! I’m not even usually a “visual reader”, if that’s even a thing, but with her stories I always am.

@ddagent‘s longer fics are genius, and the speed and gut-punching quality to her prompts means that I can read them quickly at work and get a quick boost of that serotonin. One thing I like about my own fic habits in this fandom is that I’ve covered a lot of different AUs, so imagine how much I love the variety of her catalog! There’s something for everyone there. Lord Commander Jaime is a particular favorite, but I will never shut up about those Secret Santa kids.

ask me questions!

#fic writers meme #this got away from me a bit but here we are #dangpanterita

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unpopularly-opinionated · 5 years ago

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RE: My post earlier about the Ooblets Epic Games Exclusive backlash.

I’m not going to show the Twitter user, if you follow the indie game development scene on Twitter it’s likely you’ll recognize this tweet, either way that’s not who I am. The Ooblet’s account on the other hand is fair-game since it’s basically a product placement.

I feel it needs reiterating how utterly dense this kind of tweet is, and how completely skewed the narrative for this issue has gotten, so let me reiterate in obnoxiously large and emboldened font to try and get the point across:

THE GAMING COMMUNITY IS NOT TOXIC

“Honesty” and “transparency” are all well and good, but unless you’re honestly trying to drive away your own community, perhaps you should try being a little less honest and a little less transparent. No one (or I guess no one but this guy and the few who agree with him) is going to thank you for honestly throwing them under the proverbial bus after they’ve spent months, if not years, supporting your project; your dream.

I’ve heard from others that “this is just how they write” and “it’s meant to be funny”, and to an extent, I can understand that. But let me just include some screenshots from the post in question to reiterate my point, because I feel like my previous post didn’t quite get the point across:

(Context: What the Epic Games Exclusivity Deal means for you, the fan and/or financial backer of Ooblets).

I get that the Fortnite bit is the joke, ha ha, Fortnite used to be wildly popular, I get it, good meme. What isn’t the joke, and what was part of why people got upset was the first bit, specifically the “download the Epic Games Launcher and make an Epic Games account” bit, that bit.

Now, I personally have no qualms about having the Epic Games Launcher on my PC. I have long since looked beyond the ‘scandal’ of tech companies saving and selling my data to distant lands to be used for nefarious moneymaking schemes. Is it bad? Sure, maybe. Would I prevent it had I the chance? Of course. Do I have that chance? Not a chance in the world, so I decide to live with it.

That said, many others have not reached that point of fuck it, and understandably so. I hit that point because of my negative outlook on society as a whole but, praise be, there are in fact still some optimists out there who look at these shitty corporate tactics and say no to them, and good on them for that.

That is what I would say is the bulk of the primary issues people have with the Epic Games Store. The missing features bits aren’t terribly important, as even this post says, if you have a social life on Steam, then use Steam. The EGS does not need to be your do-all replacement.

This is where the post should have stopped. Here and now, had this post ended, any and all issues with this decision would have been but a whisper in the wind. As I said in my previous post, yes they undoubtedly would have received plenty of critical, and non-critical backlash for the decision regardless, but ending the post here would’ve 100% put the developers on the right side in this situation and I’d be right up there agreeing with that tweet.

(Context: Are you angry at Epic and/or us for this decision?)

Referring to earlier when I said that playful tone and humour are all fine and dandy, I understand that this is probably meant to sound playful and humourous, but it comes across as largely self-important and ignorant, and the bits that follow do in no way dissuade from that appearance.

While my response to this complaint was similar to their own, in that you should just use Steam for the features that the Epic Games Store lacks, they go on to essentially say that this is just baby EGS and that Steam used to be just like it and look at it now.

While they aren’t technically wrong, from a development point of view, the big thing they need to understand is how web standards have dramatically changed since 2003 when the Steam store launched. Launching a store, of any variety, without a shopping cart is a big no-no.

As far as missing features go, that’s not like missing a friends list or a IM feature, that’s missing a crucial part of a web-based storefront. Imagine going to a store and only be allowed to purchase one thing at a time, that would be ridiculous.

Their response to this was as corporate as any triple-A publisher, or really any corporation at all, from any industry. Just a complete disconnect from society that frankly is unwarranted from what is quite literally a two person operation. Not to mention, their response is quite literally what every parent warns their kids about at a young age. “But mooooooooooooom, everyone is doing it!!!!” Yes sweetie, but if everyone jumps off a bridge, are you going to?

Apparently, yes.

And not to discount the idea of making money, by all means make money, but let me put it this way, had they left this post exactly where I said they should have previously, all of the blame would be at Epic’s feet. Because at the end of the day, having your game be exclusive to one service does not make you money, it makes them money. So this whole “everyone is doing it” schtick doesn’t fly when coming from the developers. Had this been a post by Epic (and frankly with all the shilling I could be convinced it was from them) then this argument might have made just a tiny bit more sense.

Underlined in yellow are the jokes; the “playful” and “humourous” attitude I’ve heard so much about. Underlined in red however, are what the developers are actually genuinely saying with complete and utter seriousness.

“There are worse things in the world to be upset about.” I kid you not, that’s their argument.

Now, all of that reiterated, to get to the actual point of this post (wish Tumblr let you do multiple “Keep Reading” lines but I digress), the article linked in the tweet here is about the previous “non-critical” backlash I mentioned they’d receive, though multiplied exponentially by their horrendous blog post, and further community responses to said blog post.

I’d like to refer to a completely unrelated post I made quite a while ago that really needs to spread like wildfire if you ask me:

RECEIVING INSULTS, UNCRITICAL FEEDBACK, AND/OR DEATH THREATS DOES NOT INVALIDATE THE CRITICAL FEEDBACK NOR THE ISSUE AT HAND.

I am by no means wiping away death threats or mean words as things to scoff at, by all means take them as seriously as you will, but under no circumstances should 20+ people telling you to kill yourself invalidate the hundreds of fans and financial backers who are upset with your recent financial decision, or your response to criticisms to those decisions.

This happens time and time and time again. Someone of note does something bad, for one reason or another, and instead of responding to the completely warranted and justified criticism and feedback they instead play up the 15+ people who IM’d them to drink bleach and throw it up as “an example of the ever present toxic gaming community”.

More or less, the substance to this article is their “apology”, and I use that term very loosely but I’ll get to that, to the community at large for the recent events. The post summarizes the issue from their (biased) perspective, posts some screenshots of the colourful responses they’ve received, the usual woe-is-me schtick.

I’d like to highlight a few bits from it to further exemplify the continued mindset of these people:

I have given the full context to this next statement with these screenshots so that I can now take parts of these statements out of their context to, at least to my belief, succinctly identify the mindset of these folks:

“I understand the relationship people think they might be owed when they exchanged money for goods or services, but...we’ve never actually sold them anything and don’t owe them anything at all.”

I don’t want to get off-topic any more than necessary, but this, this right here is why fundraisers, Kickstarters, GoFundMes, Patreon subscriptions, or any other form of crowdsourcing platforms need to be handled with extreme care. I hesitate to say regulated legally, but I am by no means opposed to that idea.

I want to express this carefully and plainly: LEGALLY, yes they are absolutely right that they do not owe anyone anything. At least to my knowledge, they didn’t have a formal Kickstarter, their financial backing came primarily from whatever it is they do for a living AND the support of their Patreon backers.

And while I do not feel that it needs addressing, for the sake of consistency I will address it: MORALLY they owe the game to anyone who financially supported them with the express purpose of developing the game.

“We definitely owe all of you who supported us, but also fuck off you entitled cunts because we don’t owe you shit.”

When in the face of well-deserved criticism, deflect deflect deflect. As if a broken record, I’d like to again emphasize that yes, legally they owe no one anything. Morally, they do. Legally, they don’t. Morally, yes. Legally, no.

This, in essence, is a response to the majority of people who are like me, who aren’t screaming vitriolic personable attacks, telling them to drink bleach, long jog off a short pier, the works. Essentially: “If you aren’t with us, then you’re against us.”

Because apparently pointing out your blatant mischaracterisation of the gaming community, your outrageously awful personal relations skills, and most especially your morally bankrupt understanding of the relationship between you and the people financially supporting your passion project means we are, by their logic, on a level equivalent in nature to the 10+ people telling them to drink bleach.

Fixed for typos:

Remember how I said this was an “apology” in the loosest form, well what I was referring to was how in the beginning during their (totally unbiased) summary of the events, they more or less said “Sorry you didn’t respond the way we wanted you to.” Beyond that, yeah, it’s not an apology.

And why would we expect one? Nothing they have spat out in the face of their fans so far has even a hint of self-realization or self-reflection in it. Even their acknowledgement of their (horrendously under exaggerated) bad PR skills comes across as a hollow acknowledgement, if it can even be referred to as an acknowledgement at all, because if you truly truly acknowledged it, then this post wouldn’t exist.

As to this anti-Semitic fabrication making the rounds, I have not seen it so I will take their word for it that they did not make one, especially since I have seen fabricated evidence involving Discord messages rearranged out of order. What I feel needs addressing specifically in this chunk though is his reference to “my messages taken out of context to insinuate I don’t care about our patrons/fans”, because if you’ve seen my previous post then you’ll know no amount of context makes this statement look good:

Sure, it’s a true statement of fact now that they have Epic’s money, but it’s fairly obvious that it reads “We have Epic’s money now, we don’t need you anymore.” I’m sure they didn’t mean that, but that when combined with their other statements regarding how they don’t owe their patrons anything, what they are saying is clear as day.

But hey, credit where credit is due, at least with this we can agree:

But of course, as these people are now infamously known for not ending their posts where they reasonably should...

Now I know how much money goodwill, faith, and morals make, and again I would fully expect this kind of response from the likes of EA, Ubisoft, Bethesda, or fuck even Amazon or Facebook to show that corporate greed has no industry bounds, but this is a two person team whose passion project is to make this game which is being financially supported by loyal fans and future customers.

And that’s just it, that is the mind-boggling part to me, that this is all just the self-important, mischaracterising, morally bankrupt, and childishly ignorant ramblings of a small little husband and wife duo.

In summary...

As was said in the blog post, I’m sure that looking from the outside in we don’t get to see the full scope of the vitriolic comments they’re receiving, so to that I give them credit, and the most sincerest of apologies. I’ve received a few death threats and vitriolic hate-filed messages in my time on the internet, and while personally I am unphase by them, I can fully understand that it can be damaging to one’s self-esteem and self-confidence, especially when it comes in relation to your passion project. I am sorry.

But unwarranted, hate-filled, vitriolic, suicide-baiting messages do not invalid those of us criticizing you for the things that you did do, the words that you did say, and the actions that you did take. I mentioned this in my previous post, but as it stands, the centerpiece to this issue isn’t even about the Epic Exclusivity Deal anymore, it’s about you. You and your treatment, of not just the community at large (for which, might I add, is your primary customer base), but of your treatment towards your loyal fans and financial supporters along the way.

You, for whatever reason, act as most of us have come to expect a soulless and faceless triple-A publisher would, when in fact you are just a two person team with public faces. You’re taking the shots that the likes of EA, Activision, or Bethesda would and have taken, but you’re forgetting that it is above and beyond easier to find you then it is to find them.

All we, but more importantly your fans want from you is for you to make the best game that we all know you’re capable of. And for those who supported you this far along the way to be given even an ounce of respect, despite you not needing their support anymore.

#long post #seriously don't click keep reading unless you really want to read this #it's stupid long #ooblets #indie games #indie developers #video game development #random rant

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sheliesshattered · 5 years ago

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Fic meme

I was tagged by @primarybufferpanel -- thank you darling, this was a ton of fun to do!

This got a bit long, so I’ll put the people I’m tagging here at the top: @claraaoswald, @ambitious-witch, @someillplanetreigns, and @junoinferno, if you feel like playing!

My AO3, my old non-updating fanfiction.net

Fandoms I’ve made fanworks for: Oh lord. I’m only going to count fanfiction that has actually been posted, but if I tried to count up every fandom that I’d started writing for and left unfinished fragments languishing on various harddrives and googledocs over the years, it’d be at least double this list. I have two pseuds on AO3, with the fics roughly organized by fandoms that I post about on this Tumblr account (sheliesshattered) and fandoms that pre-date my time on Tumblr that I don’t post about very much (glasscannon). Putting all the fandoms together in one alphabetized list:

Black Sails - 5 Doctor Who - 8 Firefly/Serenity - 1 Game of Thrones - 1 The Hobbit - 1 The Hunger Games - 1 Iron Man - 2 Law & Order: Criminal Intent - 1 Mad Max - 2 Once Upon A Time - 1 Poldark - 3 Star Wars - 3 Twilight - 7 The West Wing - 1

Number of fics: 38, including a big unfinished epic that I never moved over from ff.n, and don’t plan to unless I finish it someday.

Fics I spent more time on: I’m not even quite sure how to measure this. I’m a slow writer, and a single story can easily hold my attention for years at a time, or be something I return to when there isn’t a newer fandom temporarily consuming me. I don’t tend to keep track of how many hours I put into a fanfic, though. The unfinished epic I mentioned is probably near the top of that list, and was a huge part of my life from 2009 to 2013. Other contenders would be the All Hands series (written with PBP!), and Truth Universally Acknowledged, particularly if you include all the massive world-building that went into that one.

But really probably the one I’ve poured the most hours into, between research and writing, is a Doctor Who epic that hasn’t yet seen the light of day, called Home The Long Way ‘Round. Because I have such a habit of starting long stories and then not finishing them, I’m making myself get that one completely done before I post any of it to AO3, so I don’t have anything to show for it yet, but I’ve put a ton of time into it over the last five years or so. Hopefully someday I’ll actually get to share it. :)

Fics I spent less time on: Like I said, I’m a very slow writer, so any time I can turn out a story in a matter of days I’m just absolutely shocked. I wrote The Message over the course of about 24 hours, which is probably the fastest I’ve ever finished anything in my life ever, lol.

Longest fic: The All Hands series is sitting at 126,800 words, and PBP and I have more finished for it that we’re hoping to post soon-ish. The unfinished epic made it to almost 119,000 words before I ran out of steam. Truth Universally Acknowledged racked up about 54,000 words before my co-writer and I took a break from it, and probably triple that in world-building bibles and timelines, etc. On the works-in-progress side of things, Home The Long Way ‘Round is sitting at about 40,000 words currently and only about a third of the way done, and the For As Long As We Get series is at 21,000 words between what I’ve posted and what I’m still working on, and will definitely continue to grow.

Shortest story: 10 Seconds, at 208 words. Also one of the very first fanfics I ever finished and posted online.

Most hits: Truth Universally Acknowledged, by like a factor of 20 vs anything else I have on AO3. It’s the only time I’ve written for the main pairing in an active fandom (tho my purview in the co-writing was more on the secondary pairing), and that translated to a stupidly large number of hits. Fanfiction.net doesn’t count hits the same way, but the unfinished epic is sitting at about 3500 favs.

Most kudos: Setting The Stuns’ls, the first in the All Hands series -- which is SHOCKING considering that’s a tiny rowboat of a fandom, for a non-canon background pairing that has literally about 30 seconds of shared screentime, and the two romantic leads don’t so much as kiss over the course of 94,000 words (longing looks, significant hand-touches, mutual pining, definitely, but kissing, not so much).

Most bookmarks: Truth Universally Acknowledged, by a long shot.

Fic you want to rewrite or expand: I don’t tend to edit a story once it’s been posted, beyond correcting a typo or adding a missed word. Once it’s published, it’s finished and I don’t change it significantly. I do have quite a few (so, so many) unfinished stories that I would love to finish up at some point.

Total words combined: Counting only published fics, including the unfinished epic (and a companion piece for it) that lives only on ff.n, I’m currently at 376,542 words total.

Fav fic you wrote: How can you make me choose between my children like this, honestly?? Siiiigh. I’m with PBP, whatever I’m working on currently is usually my favorite. I’m having a ton of fun with For As Long As We Get, and can’t wait to publish the next part of that, hopefully sometime this month. I’m incredibly proud of All Hands, and that occupied such a specific time in my life that I’ll always think of it fondly. I’m exceptionally happy with the character voices and use of language in both Breathe Again and Upon This Rock Will I Break Myself, Until It Shows Me Your Beloved Face, and tend to feel like they don’t get enough love vs how much I love them. But my one true favorite is and will always be Home The Long Way ‘Round, and hopefully I’ll actually be able to finish it and post it someday.

Share a bit of your WIP or idea if you have anything planned: Again, how can I possibly choose just one?? Even just within the Doctor Who fandom, I currently have more than half a dozen stories actively in progress. But since I’ve talked it up so much without being able to link to it at all, and just declared it my all-time fav, I’m going to break one of my own rules and post the whole first chapter (eek!) of Home The Long Way ‘Round behind a read more:

Chapter 1: Orange Dreams

The sound of the wind is whispering in your head Can you feel it coming back? Through the warmth, through the cold, keep running ‘til we’re there. We're coming home now, we’re coming home now. —Home, Dotan

The winds shrieked and howled around her. Clara had never been in a tornado, but she imagined it would feel like this to stand in the eye of one. She could see gusts lifting the tops off the sand dunes in shimmering ribbons, gold against the orange sky. The waves of airborne sand dissipated a few feet from her, leaving only a jagged grittiness in the air.

A woman with long blonde hair was yelling at her, her words ripped away by the wind.

“Tell me again!” Clara called back to her. “Tell me how to find home!”

“It’s just physics!” the other woman shouted, taking a step closer; they were nearly the same height. “No information can ever be lost! Start from zero, and run the math! We’ll be waiting on the other end of that equation!”

There was something Clara desperately wanted to tell this woman who looked at her with kindness behind the steel of her eyes, but in that moment, the words wouldn’t come.

“Look!” someone yelled behind Clara, and though she didn’t want to take her eyes off her, she instinctively looked up, following the line of the other person’s arm up into the gathering storm-whipped dusk. There, silhouetted against the last of the light, was the unmistakable blue boxy shape of the Doctor’s TARDIS, spinning quickly as it flew away—

Clara jerked awake, her heart hammering against her ribs, already sitting up and pulling off her sleep mask before she realised what had woken her was the sound of the TARDIS materialising in the sitting room of her flat. She took a moment to catch her breath, trying to hold onto the details of the dream. In the other room, the TARDIS’s familiar wheezing and groaning came to a stop with a soft thud, followed by the squeak of the door.

“Doctor?” Clara called, not bothering to hide the sleep nor the annoyance in her voice.

He poked his head around her bedroom doorframe, grey hair awry and his most innocent expression plastered on — which meant he knew he was waking her and felt at least marginally bad about it. “Hello, Clara. It’s Wednesday,” he said pleasantly, by way of explanation.

“Is it?” she asked, deadpan.

“Technically.”

“You do know that I have to work today, don’t you?”

“Not for another six hours. So come on, up-and-at-‘em, plenty of time to go out and save the universe and still be back in time for your morning coffee. I’ve an adventure that simply won’t keep, so come on!”

His excitement was infectious, as he must have known it would be, but Clara clung to her annoyance a little longer, mostly for show. “You have a time machine: everything can keep,” she replied, but waved him off before he could launch into a lecture on all the ways that statement was false, at least from a temporal physics standpoint. He lectured anyway, hovering outside her bedroom door as she dressed, though Clara expected it was mostly to keep himself from pacing in anticipation. She followed more than half of it, and worried a bit over how often she let him babble on about the minutiae of time travel these days.

By the time the universe had been set to rights — or at least one small blue world, home to a race of sentient seahorses, that had been facing imminent extinction in the form of a rogue exoplanet — she had nearly forgotten her unsettling, vivid dream.

Given the recent events on Skaro, Clara was unsurprised when bits of her experiences there began to filter into her dreams. Truthfully, she had expected to dream of it more often than she did, but in the weeks that followed, more nights than not her sleeping mind instead conjured up the strange orange landscape. She revisited that screaming sandstorm so often it became almost comforting, and before long, other dreams joined it.

Clara was leaned against a railing on a high balcony, overlooking a large city coming alight as dusk crept on, a rusty sunset that stretched the width of the horizon bathing the world in amber. The woman with the serious eyes and long, straight blonde hair stood beside her, in the middle of a conversation, as happened so frequently in dreams.

“Alright, but what about the last stage?” Clara asked, elbows resting next to hers on the railing. “That bit depends on us actively doing something, and you know we can’t rely on my knowledge. I can’t take any of the engineering or navigation with me, so it’ll be down to him.”

“And he loves a good puzzle,” the other woman said confidently, flicking her hair over her shoulder with a twitch of her head. “He’ll want to find us. He’ll figure it out.”

“Before I die of old age? Are you sure? My mother was one of his professors at the Academy, I’ve seen his test scores. I think we need a fail-safe.”

“He did graduate,” she pointed out reasonably.

“He passed his exams with a fifty-one percent on his second attempt! No, we can’t assume he’ll have all the baseline information to even consider such a solution, much less actually accomplish the maths. We have to find some way to hide it with me,” Clara said. “Or in his TARDIS.”

The woman was silent for a long moment, her mouth set in a thoughtful line. On the distant horizon, the sun had finished its slow descent, but below them the city was coming to life, the light not so much fading as changing sources, becoming ever so slightly more golden.

“By that point in the timeline,” the blonde woman said, speaking slowly, still thinking it through, “you’ll have been exposed to his timestream and to the crack in the universe, so some of your memories will probably start leaking through. If we structure the extraction the right way, we might be able to embed a particular thought or moment into your consciousness before you go into the Schism.”

“What’d you have in mind?” Clara asked, turning her head to look at her.

“This conversation?” she suggested, laughing, her broad smile transforming her face. “No, a phrase would be cleaner, I think.”

“‘Run the math, you idiot boy’?” Clara suggested, also giggling.

“Oh yes, that’d go over well! No, if you want him to do something, call him clever. Works every time!” she laughed, leaning her shoulder into Clara’s.

“The horrid thing is that I know the temporal physics for this is part of my mother’s coursework,” Clara groaned. “If he hadn’t slept through so many of her classes, this would be a non-issue!”

“Ah, but a Doctor who was always responsible? What a boring universe that would be!”

Above them, the stars were beginning to come out, though the glare of the city obscured them. Through the haze of the dream, Clara couldn’t find any constellations she recognised. “You don’t have to tell me,” she said. “I was the one who helped him steal that box in the first place.”

“And if he could take half a moment to remember that,” the blonde woman said seriously, “he might realise the role of his TARDIS in all of this, and start to think of the solution that way.”

“‘Run the math, you—”

“Clever.”

“—boy, and remember when you met me’?”

The other woman nodded, considering. “That could do it. Your chronodeterminate conjugation won’t work until you come into contact with at least a little regeneration energy. Assuming you choose regeneration on Trenzalore, it might start kicking in then, in plenty of time for the last stage.”

“Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me,” Clara whispered up to the distant stars, cradling her chin on her arms against the railing.

The woman mimicked her position, the golden light of the city and the silver light of the stars catching in her long pale hair. “It’s just physics,” she murmured back. “Start from zero and run the math. I’ll be waiting at the other end of that equation. We’ll all be waiting.”

As unsettling as they were, at least the orange-tinged dreams were better than nightmares of Daleks, of being locked in the Dalek casing, unable to convince the Doctor that it was her, it was her, she wasn’t a Dalek, she wasn’t a Dalek! Dreams of the Doctor peering at her down an eyestock, this face or the last, or any of the others buried deep in her subconscious, hearing her but not knowing her, seeing her but not saving her.

Clara grasped for that orange sky, let it carry her away in bronze sandstorms, golden cities slowly coming to life, and starlight caught in tawny hair.

Monday morning third period found her Year 10 students taking an essay exam while Clara doodled on a scrap piece of paper, trying to pull images and phrases out of the orange haze that had taken up residence in her slumbering hours since Skaro. There were bits that tugged at her memory, like a song she couldn’t quite place but whose tune was intensely familiar.

She’d written Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me across the top of the page, and her eyes strayed to it every few seconds. The phrase had stayed with her after she woke, and had been on the tip of her tongue ever since, as though it was a message she was meant to deliver. Below it she’d rewritten the phrase, but crossed out six words: Run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me.

It was too close for comfort to the phrase that had, in retrospect, changed her life, sent her on her current course. The Maitlands’ mnemonic for their wifi password, which she’d said out loud during that first phone conversation with the Doctor, had caught his attention somehow, and it wasn’t until she jumped into his timestream that she understood. It was the last thing she’d said to him before sacrificing herself to save him. Every fragment of her scattered through his timestream had said it to him at some point as well, the words reverberating endlessly up and down his timeline.

Why her dreams would dredge it up now, and in such a strange context, Clara had no idea. They didn’t feel like random images, but more like memory-dreams, like the bits of echo lives that filtered through to her sleeping mind from time to time. It had to mean something.

Half way down the scrap paper she’d written: It’s just physics. Start from zero and run the math. Below this was the very helpful ??? and Clara idly traced over the question marks again. Physics was still a foreign language to her, despite how much the Doctor prattled on about it at times. She could bring this to him, she mused, but what was it, really? Her subconscious doing backflips in the wake of Skaro, that was all. No grand mystery to solve, no universe-altering secret code, just her. She wouldn’t bother the Doctor with this quite yet.

Besides, she was certain she could tease this apart on her own, follow the clues to their logical conclusion without his assistance. The dreams were insistent, and felt familiar, but Clara was sure she’d never dreamed of the blonde woman and the orange sky prior to Skaro. That was the next clue, then, and she jotted it down on her scrap paper. Something had changed after Skaro, something that caused her subconscious mind to dredge up these particular buried memories.

She needed more information. Dreams about her echo lives were always stronger when she was aboard the TARDIS travelling in the Vortex, sharper and easier to remember. Maybe these orange dreams would be, too. And maybe the TARDIS itself would have some answers for her.

Of course, she didn’t sleep aboard the TARDIS very often, with her insistence on returning home for a week of Real Life in between their Wednesday trips. But the Doctor was never adverse to her sticking around longer than she’d planned, and in the end it didn’t take much to convince him:

“I’ve a staff meeting at work that I’m dreading,” Clara told him on that next Wednesday, when they returned to the TARDIS after their latest outing. “So what do you say I have a little kip and then we squeeze in another adventure before you take me back to face my workday?”

She thought for a moment that the Doctor might question the change in their routine, but he seemed thrilled about the idea. When he announced that he had some tinkering with the engines he’d been putting off that should keep him occupied while she slept, Clara made an excuse to linger in the console room — “just going to finish reading this chapter, then off to bed” — until after he’d gone. Once he’d disappeared down the corridor and around a corner, she quietly set aside her book, then slipped out of her armchair and down the stairs towards the console. The rotors hummed overhead, and somehow Clara knew the TARDIS was aware of her, and was curious to see what she would do.

Carefully clearing her thoughts, she made her way over to the telepathic circuits, pushed up her sleeves, and slid her hands into the strange interface. Focus was the key, she knew, and she was nothing if not focused. She closed her eyes and held two very specific thoughts in her mind: the sand-whipped orange sky in her dreams, and the clear question, Where, please?

She hoped the please would help.

It was a long quiet moment with the circuits warmly cradling Clara’s fingers, and then something on the console beeped. Her eyes flew open and she carefully extracted her hands from the telepathic interface before pulling the monitor down to eye level.

Gallifrey the screen read in English, below an image of a startlingly red-orange planet. Immediately prior to the Time Lock.

Clara felt her heart thud painfully against her ribs as she read the brief text again. She’d been dreaming of Gallifrey? She knew she’d had an echo life on Gallifrey, but she remembered that interaction with the Doctor, and it happened indoors. She had never before dreamt of the Gallifreyan sky. Had it been buried somewhere in her subconscious with the rest of her memories of that life? Why surface now?

More confused than ever, she clicked the screen back to the desktop, unreadable Circular Gallifreyan floating idly across the display. Perhaps she should bring this up with the Doctor — it was his home world, after all. But the whole point of this had been to dream while they were in the Vortex, and if she didn’t get a move on, he’d be ready for their next adventure before she’d even managed to fall asleep. She could talk with him about it later.

And if things worked tonight as she hoped they would, maybe she would even have a bit more information to bring to him when she did.

“Fire suppressant in Pod Four!”

The frantic call was quickly overwhelmed by the sound of the requested suppressant dispensing from the ceiling. When it ended, the speaker, dressed in the dark red uniform of a technician, brushed soot and foam off his shirt.

“It hates me, that one,” he said, nodding at the unassuming gray cylinder in the open pod in front of him. It was devoid of features, even its doors invisible now in the wake of the fire, two meters tall and one meter in diameter, just like all the other patients in the workshop. But somehow it did seem to be glowering at him.

“And it always will, stop wasting your time,” his coworker said flippantly. He was perched in front of a console on the other side of the room, deep in his own repairs. “Just get the Impossible Girl to do it, she’ll have it eating out of her hand by lunchtime.”

Their conversation occurred in the time it took Clara to enter the large oblong workshop and make her way to the far end where the two were working. “I heard that,” she said seriously, earning a guilty-looking jump from the man who had spoken most recently. She continued over to Pod Four and leaned against the outer casing, arms folded over her uniformed chest, one booted ankle crossed over the other. “What did you do now?” she demanded of the first technician.

He looked at her with wide eyes, more out of genuine fear than mock innocence, in her estimation. “I just told it—”

“You what?” she snapped, in a tone she usually reserved for misbehaving students.

He wilted a little but started again “…I told it to—”

“Told it?”

“…to give me access to the logs,” he mumbled, dropping her gaze.

“Told it to give you access to the logs?” she asked, voice harsh. “Well first off, Number Four here prefers male pronouns, respecting that might put you on better footing. And secondly, as with all TARDISes, you’ll get a lot further if you ask rather than tell.”

Behind her, the other tech scoffed. “They’re machines, we shouldn’t have to baby them like that. An access request is an access request.”

Clara turned her head to pin him with an icy glare. “Some days I cannot believe I let you work here,” she told him bluntly. “They aren’t just machines, as you very well know. Yes, there’s hardware we need to be able to work with, but that’s nothing more than a radio, at some level — only instead of radio waves, we’re using oswin waves to talk to pan-dimensional beings so large, they can’t have a physical form in this dimension. Who, with a little extra energy, can take us and an infinite amount of folded space to nearly any point in spacetime. Just think about the massive intelligences that speak to us through each of those machines!

“But more to the point,” she said, turning back to the tech still covered in soot, “you have to understand their viewpoint of the universe, and their understanding of time. A Time Lord telling a TARDIS what to do is akin to creating a fixed point in spacetime. It’s in their nature to want to avoid fixed points. Ask instead, let him find his own way ‘round to it.”

Before the beleaguered technician could reply, there came a polite knocking from the far end of the room, and Clara turned to see a soldier standing in the doorway of the workshop, looking a little out of his depth. “Sorry to interrupt, but I have a message for—” he paused to glance down at the datapad in his hand, “for the Oswin. From the Lady President. Top priority.”

Clara was moving towards him before he’d finished speaking, curious and concerned, her attention focused on the message in his hands. But the dream faded out before she reached him, her mind moving on to something more abstract, more difficult to hold on to.

When she woke in her bed aboard the TARDIS, she stared at the ceiling with fond frustration. “If that was your attempt at help,” she whispered to the ship, “then I do not understand the message.”

It still wasn’t enough to bring to the Doctor, she decided later that day, watching him spin around the console room in the afterglow of a successful adventure, people saved, the universe bettered. So she was dreaming of Gallifrey, what of it? Many of the details in that last dream matched up with what she remembered of her interaction with the Doctor in that life. And while he occasionally enjoyed comparing memories of all the times her echoes had met him, she’d found he wasn’t especially keen on discussing the one in which she’d helped him steal the TARDIS and leave Gallifrey. Susan continued to be a point of pain for the Doctor, all these centuries later, and Clara understood him well enough to know better than to pick at that particular scab.

Still. That phrase was on a loop in her head: run the math, you clever boy, and remember when you met me. The emphasis on their meeting hadn’t been part of the original phrase, and now she was dreaming of the life in which they’d met face to face for the first time, from the Doctor’s perspective. Clearly they would have to discuss it at some point.

Eventually, but not yet.

#long post #about me #my writing #like seriously all of it #fanfiction #fandom life #AO3 #Home The Long Way 'Round #For As Long As We Get #All Hands #Truth Universally Acknowledged #et al #if you read that chapter let me know what you think!#❤️

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

Text

I Almost Care : Part 2

PART 1

NOTES:

- I’ve always wanted to start a Louis story so here it is - The synopsis and the chapters are posted on my masterlist. - Yea it’s still my name in this. I know it bothers some ppl but that’s how i write. - Parts will be about 2k. Not sure yet how many parts I’ll write tho, probably depends if people read it not. - I do not proofread and i do not have a beta, sorry! - i decided to start a tagging list so if you want to be tagged in chapters OR be informed privately when it’s updated, let me know in my inbox, in a reblog, in tags, or anything. - There will be smut. and fluff. - The title is a Hanson song. The lyrics are posted in Part 1. - if you care about this story and read it and comment it and reblog it and like it, i love you and youre my new bff :D

I ALMOST CARE : PART 2

AMELY

I was supposed to say no and spend a nice and relaxed weekend in a lodge my parents has ranted for the summer. That was the plan. Then how did I end up agreeing to a wild weekend in Las Vegas? I was not even sure anymore. I guess the fact that my parents had invited the very same weekend our neighbors was probably for a lot, especially when I found out they were bringing their annoying and cocky son with them. There was no way I was going to spend days with him following me around and flirting with me with his annoying smirk and his shirtless obsession. The size of his ego was unbelievable and if I spent an other hour rolling my eyes at his disgusting pick-up lines, I would certainly puke.

I guess when Julie invited me, I jumped on the occasion of being as far as I could from Bradley and his cringe worthy personality. I hated gambling. In fact, I was pretty sure I wouldn't spend a single buck in a machine, but I was not against some fun, and if I wanted to be honest, I was ready to try new things. It was going to be my very first time in the states but gladly, I had a passport that I kept to go see family members, sometimes, in other european countries.

As usual, I packed whatever I could find and all this in only half an hour. I knew the flight would be long so I brought a book, earphones and a pillow with me. I also decided to wear sweatpants and a hoodie. I mean, there was no reason for me to be uncomfortable for 10 hours, right?

It's only when I rushed inside the airport, after being fifteen minutes late, that I realized my mistake. He was there. Louis was there and i looked like crap. Louis Tomlinson was a part of this trip and I was hideous. My clothes were old, my hair was a mess, and I was not wearing any make up, showing dark circles around my puffy and tired eyes. It's not like Louis had never seen me like that but when you see your ex after so long, you at least want them to regret not being with you anymore, even if just slightly. Clearly, no one could regret me with the look that I had at this exact moment.

My heart stopped exactly at the same time than my feet. My newest Vans made an annoying squeaky noise on the slick floor and we stared at each other. It was pathetic.

"Come on guys, hurry up!" I heard Julie say, clapping her hands.

"Hey Mely, late as usual." Liam pointed out with a chuckle. "Glad to see things don't change."

Normally, I would nudge him and tell him to shut up but I couldn't take my eyes off of Louis and I couldn't calm the beating of my heart. Truth was, I never wanted us to be over, but somehow, I felt like he was not ready to be with someone. Or maybe it was just me he didn't want to be with. Either way, we didn't work, even if, believe me, I did everything I could to be exactly what he wanted. The problem was, he didn't even know what he wanted. That thought made me raise my nose in a grimace and I saw him frown, probably thinking my reaction was because he was there.

I pulled my pillow closer to me and followed my friends to the gates. It was a good thing that (and I counted) there were nine of us. Perhaps I wouldn't have to spend too much time around him. Maybe he would even pretend I didn't exist and ignore me the way he did it so well not only after we broke up but also during the last few days we were dating.

It was very unlikely since I spent a lot of time with Julie and Liam and I was perfectly aware that Louis and Liam were very close, but I wouldn't mind trying to get closer to the other people with us, if I had to.

I didn't know how I ended up with a plane ticket in my hand but I decided to just follow everyone. I smiled when I realized I got a window seat and literally let myself fall on the bench that I thought would be more comfortable.

"A bit stiff? I know."

My breath caught in my throat and I held it in. My heart started racing, my cheeks were getting warm and most likely red, and I I could feel my hands getting sweaty. I had a curse. It was the Louis curse. I would become an idiot whenever he was close. It was that way before I started dating him and now, the curse was back. I turned to him, my eyes a bit too round than they should have been, and he sent me a polite smile.

"Not you, I mean the seat."

My lips curled into a rude smile. "Funny."

Louis was, in fact, a funny guy. He could always make me laugh, even when I had the ugliest day. He could always turn my frown upside down. He could always make me at ease, make me feel pretty, important, smart... Qualities I could not really see in myself, or at least, sometimes they seemed hard to see.

"I know, I'm a funny guy." he replied, as if he had read my thoughts.

This time, he sent me an amused smile and I surprised myself wondering if it was just an act. I knew Louis was just as uncomfortable around me as I was around him. There was a reason why we made sure we wouldn't bump into each other and being seated right next to him in this plane confirmed it was a good idea to stay away from each other. How long did I read that this flight would be again? I said 10 hours, didn't I?

"You don't have to pretend, you know." I just pointed out, grabbing my bag and searching through it without looking at him.

I didn't want to admit that watching him actually hurt me, and way more than I thought it would. I had put so much effort, time and love into our relationship but I was not even sure he noticed it. I was not even sure he ever really loved me. I didn't know why I stayed for so long. Perhaps it was simply because I had hope.

"What do you mean?"

It took me a few seconds but I finally moved my gaze up. Our eyes met and I inhaled deeply before breathing out.

"You don't have to pretend to be happy that we'll be stuck together for hours." i explained, slipping my hand in my backpack to find my phone. "I'm not pleased by this either."

I turned my phone on and started checking a few messages I had received but I could feel his gaze on me, burning my skin. He was so close I could smell his odor, a mix of his cologne and his natural scent. He smelled amazing and exactly how I remembered but I couldn't let that get to me.

"I take it they didn't tell you I was coming."

His words surprised me and without thinking, I looked up again. I stared at him for a few seconds and licked my lips,shaking my head from left to right.

"Yea, they didn't tell me you'd be there either."

Now that I was thinking about it, it angered me slightly. Why weren't we aware that we would have to spend a few days together? After all, our friends knew exactly what had happened between us and also knew that we were avoiding each other. I nodded and finally leaned against my seat, closing my eyes and hoping the discussion was over.

"It's true."

I frowned, waiting for him to continue but apparently, he was waiting for something and my curiosity won the fight. I opened my eyes and turned my head his way as it was still leaning on the back of the seat.

"I'm not pleased, but it's not because I don't want to see you, or because I hate you or anything." he admitted, glancing down quickly before looking back in my eyes. "It's because I know you hate me, and it's awkward between us. But trust me, I don't want to ruin your weekend. If you want me to stay away from you, then I will."

I blinked a few times, once again surprised by his words but also by his compassion. It reminded me of who I started dating, Louis was charming and kind, cheeky but soft, funny and sensitive. He was the whole package : the man you want to present to your folks but also the man to make you cum hard between the sheets. Looking at him from so close again brought back so many memories that I had to hold my breath for a few seconds as I felt my whole body throb.

After a while, I got back to my senses and cleared my throat, playing with my earphones.

"Alright." I said with a shrug, putting my earphones on and starting the music. "But I don't mind you being around me. It's your trip too."

I could swear I read sadness in his eyes and perhaps, I had gone a little too far. I was good at pretending I didn't care, he should know that, and the problem was that I cared. I cared so much. I cared too much.

"Oh and Louis?"

Once again, his head raised up and his eyebrows too. I couldn't help but let my lips curl a bit at how cute he looked.

"I don't hate you."

He sent me a small smile and made a quick head movement as a thank you. I hated that it started hurting again. It's like a wound you thought was pretty much painless and almost completely healed that would re-open suddenly and bleed like a bitch. I spent a few more seconds just staring at him as I made a list in my head of everything I missed about him before taking my phone in my hand. I got into my note application and started typing with only one fingers, cursing as I made typos every other word.

- the way he laughed at my clumsiness - the way he played with my hair - the mischievous smirk he sent when he was horny - the grimace he made when I had a good comeback - the way he rolled his eyes at the memes i'd show him - his warm hands traveling on my skin - the way his eyes roamed on me like I was the only person worth looking at - the way his lips moved on mine, slowly but avidly - how tight he held me against him at night even if his bed was king sized - the way he whispered 'i love you' when he thought I was asleep

I suddenly stopped typing and swallowed at as I re-read the last one twice, three times... ten... I felt my eyes water and cleared my throat, turning the screen off and letting my phone fall on my laps. Why was this happening to me? I was good without him, I didn't need him, and I was happy. Then why was I feeling like that? I felt my twist in my chest and he had been sitting next to me for about 10 minutes, how was I going to survive a long weekend around him without falling in love with him again?

That thought made my heart jump so hard in my chest that my whole body started throbbing again. I couldn't go through that again, I couldn't have my heart broken an other time. It was much more than I could handle. I wasn't even sure how I survived last time.

I leaned again my seat again and shut my eyes tight, trying to stop the tears from falling, but when I felt his fingers brushing against the top of my hand, my eyes opened wide and I turned to him.

"Hey, Mely, are you okay?"

No. Clearly, I was far from okay. I was nostalgic of the only relationship that ever mattered to me. I was falling again for the only guy I really loved, the only guy who really broke my heart, and I couldn't help but think that I didn't deserve this pain. I deserved better. With that thought, I quickly took my hand back and nodded.

"Yea, i'm fine, thanks."

#louis tomlinson #louis tomlinson fluff #louis tomlinson smut #louis tomlinson fic #louis tomlinson fanfic #louis tomlinson fan fic #louis tomlinson story #louis tomlinson writing #the beginning sucks but it gets better i think?#if you read this i fucking love you #my fanfics

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toradh · 7 years ago

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GUYS WE HAVE A NEW KAMELOT ALBUM

Time for some Shadow Theory liveblogging!

You can’t tell that it’s live because I’m spamming it all at once into this post but it was liveblogging

CUT

it’s still a Sascha Paeth production as it always is, and even if it’s sci-fi themed now, it’s still a Kamelot album and new drummers don’t renew songwriting, so I don’t expect any notable surprises. It’s also a little strange that only Thomas and Sean are left from the original setup, and Sean was on break for years (I was so used to Glenn in fact). NOT THAT I MIND ANYONE BEING THERE JUST SO WE’RE CLEAR

okay anyway liveblogging

ok the intro bars to Phantom Divine are actually really cool (though I have a feeling that nothing will ever beat the warm fuzzy memories that I always relive when the intro bars to Sacrimony start)

ALSO TOMMY I LOVE YOU WHAT THE FUCK I WANT A POSTER OF YOUR VOICE

I WANT TEN POSTERS OF YOUR VOICE

please why do layout designers think writing down lyrics in blocks is a cool idea, that makes it so hard to follow the lyrics pls don’t

doesn’t Tommy try to sound like Khan anymore?

I sound like a complete asshole here but actually I love what I’m hearing so far Kamelot have always been and will always be one of my favourite bands okay okay I’m just looking for bits and pieces that stand out because the only fresh thing they’ve done after The Black Halo was hiring Tommy and I’m saying that as a devoted fan (and also some unusual guest stars like Eklipse and Jon Oliva but still)

…and the fresh thing in The Black Halo were the occasional growls. Hm

ANYWAY would still pay money to have Tommy and Khan together on stage /silent tears into the void

just like I’ll never get a new Seventh Wonder album

anyway

oh it has synthesizer stuffz now to fit the sci-fi theme go on

actually all the intros are nice????

the synths in general are really sweet I mean it

yay slightly creepy choirs

I don’t know the guest voice chick on this album, but her voice is actually pretty cool

I found a typo in the booklet do I get a cookie

yay for guitar soli in power ballads being so very predictable (hey hey I like it okay? okay. it’s still true)

I found more mistakes in the booklet?

GUYS YOU DID THE HELLO DARKNESS MY OLD FRIEND MEME WHY ARE YOU AWARE???

fun fact I never cared for guitar soli but it’s okay (give me keyboard and violin soli)

CALLED IT THANKS FOR THE STRING INTRO I’LL LOVE IT AND PET IT It’s not a violin but it sounds too high for a cello?? Oliver you’re doing the orchestrations and keys/synths, what is this thing

are these background growls??? ok cool but y’know what’s even cooler? FEMALE LEAD GROWLS ok I’ll shut tp I think everybody and their dogs what my fav albums are and what my fav live setup was

is it bad that I want more growls in Kamelot songs

Oliver really had a lot of fun with the instrumentals, didn’t he

TOMMY DON’T OVERARTICULATE INITIAL CONSONANTS on first listen I heard “you’ll be taken away to a world of fish” instead of “world of visions” Tommy no I still love your vocals tho

It’s still notable that he does fewer vocal acrobatics than in Seventh Wonder. Like, less unpredictable melodies. sometimes I almost get the feeling he makes up his Seventh Wonder lines on the spot. anyway

yes Oliver had a lot of fun with the instrumentals (I love it)

good luck dishing that out of your keyboard live, Oliver

It’s Oliver’s band now lol

Uhm. Excuse??? The bonus track is the actual best one? It gives me welcome Mercy Falls vibes TOMMY. YOUR VOICE. POSTER. PLEASE.

excuse me I’ll have to listen to this 30 times now to form an actual opinion instead of shitposting (Kamelot songs usually click with me pretty much initially if they click; what am I saying, 95% click. But I’m still surprised that they don’t click with me on first try on this album, but it might come in time. I’ll pretend it’s a Sonata album that needs 30 runs to click and not one. It’s still great and stuff but it doesn’t sound… new?)

bonus points if you can figure out which songs my commentary refers to but also good luck

I’m done now

I’m slowly but surely becoming like my best friend “Oh, a new Kamelot album! That’s cool! They’re great! I don’t want to listen to it, let’s sing along to the old albums in infinite loops!! That’s my favourite thing!”

#music #random rambling tag #ignore me #Metal #also also also #actually #Kamelot #except I don’t want this post to be in the tag because I don’t want to sully my fav band‘s name lol #it’s just for organisation… as if this blog was organised but I try

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eloarei · 7 years ago

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So I made a post about my WIPs the other day (cuz I was tagged in a meme, but I still did it), so I figured I’d make a post about the fics I’ve actually friggin’ finished. (Also because someone expressed a mild interest in them, and you know how I am with someone expressing a mild interest: “Hey let’s write a novel about the thing you only briefly mentioned!!” ^^; ) Under the cut, stuff I’ve written in the past few years, including original fic (with picture references too).

FANFIC HINABN (Hanna Is Not A Boy’s Name) : Rogue -- 142k -- (FINISHED) Hanna Cross has tried to put his morbid past behind him, but then the zombie of a man he once loved comes to his door, asking for help solving the mystery of his resurrection, with no clue that he and Hanna were once close, or that Hanna was at least partly responsible for his death. (Includes grim reapers, necromancy, demon, and copious amounts of guilty inner-monologuing.) Rogue-likes -- 21k -- Side stories related to Rogue. Back to the Future Never Sleep Again -- 7k -- (FINISHED) Doc messes something up on one of his trips back in time, and when he returns he finds his relationship with Marty isn’t how he left it. On Track -- 11k (WIP, 2/6) -- Young Emmett Brown is saved by, and then haunted by, the ghost of a young man he won’t properly meet for another 50 years. Overwatch Sagittarius -- 4k (WIP, 1/15) -- Jesse, a young centaur, is kidnapped and sold into slavery to the yakuza. He befriends the family’s heir, Hanzo, and escapes. 20 years later, they meet again as Overwatch teammates, and finally have a chance to work out their fledgling relationship from before. Final Fantasy XV Through the Night, to the Day -- 4k -- (FINISHED) Noctis is willing to sacrifice his life to save his people, but he still wishes he could live to see another sunrise. Pacific Rim Redefined -- 11k (WIP, 6/20) -- Many years after fending off the kaiju invasion, the descendants of Newt and Hermann carry their memories, and put their heads together to defeat the monsters again. One Piece Grow -- 2k -- (FINISHED) A short character study of how Helmeppo changed after his father was promoted. Charmed -- 2k -- (FINISHED) The Red-Hair pirates (and the relationship between the captain and first mate) from Makino’s perspective. Rivalry -- 1.5k -- (FINISHED) Buggy has a love-hate relationship with Shanks. Untitled Cobymeppo oneshot -- 12k and counting -- (Not finished or posted yet, but I swear I’m gonna finish it soon) A land-locked knights AU, Coby and Luffy go to confront the neglectful lord of Shells Town, but Coby is captured by the vicious beast that guards the castle. Boku no Hero Academia Standing -- 1k -- (FINISHED) All Might has to learn to let go. All Night -- 1k -- (FINISHED) Izuku makes a typo and everyone starts ragging on him for his crush. A chat log. Atlas -- 4.5k -- (FINISHED) (AU) Nobody appreciates the god who holds up the world. Touch -- 6.5k -- (FINISHED) (AU) From a young age, Izuku feels the pain of his mysterious soulmate, who can’t seem to take care of himself. Make the Most -- 32.5k -- (WIP) (AU) Izuku was always told he’d never meet All Might, but somehow he’s just become his Teacher’s Assistant . Define “Adult” -- 1.5k -- (FINISHED) All Might doesn’t know how to adult. Charity -- 5.5k -- (FINISHED) Class 1-A wins their pining classmate a date with their celebrity teacher. Withdrawal -- 4.5k -- (FINISHED) Toshinori worries he’s useless without his powers, and tries to separate himself from Izuku. Starving -- 1k -- (FINISHED) A golden thread ties together their willing hearts and empty stomachs. Thanks to You -- 28k -- (FINISHED!) Being fake-married is dangerous. It inevitably leads to wanting more. A tropey Thanksgiving meet-the-family fic. English -- 3.5k -- (FINISHED) Izuku needs help translating his fanmail. Run -- 3k -- (FINISHED) (AU) Izuku goes for a midnight run in the city, where he meets a rather imposing vigilante who tells him he probably shouldn’t. ORIGINAL FIC Damsel Co. Pictures of them here! Damsel Co. beginning 2016 rewrite -- 3.5k (WIP) -- Ellery wants to see the world, Addisson wants to rescue a princess, Hunter also wants to rescue a princess except no he doesn’t, and Isabelle just wants to get the hell away. The story of 4 adventurers finding their identities and maybe falling in love along the way, I dunno. Cecilia’s story -- 5k -- Backstory for a secondary main character. Older stuff (a separate post with links) -- The original first 5 chapters are here, along with misc side stories. Alien Anthem (Note, only Chapter 1, Chapter 2, 4th of July ficlet, Snake’s POV, and Bren’s Origin are technically canon? mostly because I haven’t decided how self-indulgent I want this to really be, and all the others include a very self-indulgent ship.) (Total wordcount so far: 25k+) Pictures of them here! Chapter 1 -- 2k? -- Aliens bet over which human is going to survive the zombie apocalypse. On Earth, Bren just wants a hotdog. Chapter 2 -- 3k? -- An alien practices English. Bren has a breakdown. Snake’s POV -- 2k -- Chapters 1 and 2 from Snake’s POV. Chapter ??? part1 -- 7k -- Months later, Bren is getting used to the aliens, though he mostly still thinks they’re dicks. Chapter ??? part2 -- 2.5k -- Bren thinks maybe he has another option but lol no he doesn’t. Hybrid babies -- 3k -- Snake has babies. One’s not quite right. A 4th of July side-story -- 1k -- Bren thinks about his brother. Bren’s Origin story -- 4k -- Shit it’s the zombie apocalypse. Spoiler alert: everyone dies. An AU very-not-canon side story -- 1.5k -- Bren’s on a space station, getting propositioned by a reptile. (other fics potentially available upon request) -- Snake has no boundaries; Ant and Ling are terrible friends. Moptail -- 3k? -- A rich young man elopes with his humanoid servant girlfriend and runs off to the seaside where his racist parents can’t find them. (Except this particular installment doesn’t get that far.) Rose By Another Name (only notes, plot outline/synopsis) -- 2k? -- Sleeping Beauty meets Beauty and the Beast. Well, sort of. Misc. Cadoba story -- 2k -- Centaur Princess Cadoba goes to the human world.

#elo talks #elo fics #25k of AA already and I haven't planned a damn bit of it. Not bad

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not-poignant · 7 years ago

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Can I ask for 8 (again - though I also really love the section you chose!), 15, 21, 27, and 40(again)? Sorry if it's too many, you can just pick a couple instead of you need to! (I'm just endlessly curious!)

I’m skipping the dialogue one (Q8) (though I have answered it) not because I don’t want to but because this post just got really really really long and I’m already embarrassed. e.e

Have answered 15 here!

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

It really depends on what it is.

Random fic oneshot? Probably not that many times. Once?

Something in the Fae Tales verse? That usually goes through more rigorous editing. Sometimes around 2-5 pass-throughs from me, depending on how smooth I think the chapter was. (I have been told by a head editor of a publishing company that I write very ‘clean’). But I have a habit of writing clunky or clumsy sentences, and sometimes editing pass-throughs are less about typos and more about sort of smoothing out the reading experience so it’s more pleasurable and less ‘well that was a weird fucking sentence.’

Fanfiction really depends on my mood. Sometimes I’m super thorough, and sometimes I don’t care that the word ‘enough’ has been used three times in the same paragraph. I also don’t care about passive tense as much as some people, because I really like passive tense. I’ll still always edit though. I’ve never written something and put it up straight away.

Original novels get edited per chapter, and then get about three really thorough edits from me at the end. That will be a grammar/typo/sentence structure edit, a continuity/substantive edit (including adding/subtracting scenes) and the a final formatting/copy edit.

Just about everything I write goes to a beta, and original novels/short stories go to a couple of betas and then an editor. After the final editor pass-over, I make those changes, send it back to the editor, and after that I proof-read, which is my least favourite part and I have been lazy enough on this before that a typo I missed and the editor missed made it through to print, so…eep.

Read mores hide my shame at how long this response is (and you don’t have to see how much I hate AO3 story collaborations as a rule):

27. How do you feel about collaborations?

In terms of more than one person working on the same story: I don’t like them. I’m a very control-hungry author and I enjoy worldbuilding and character building from the ground up, and even the fic authors I love the most I’ve never ever thought ‘I should do some kind of collaboration with them.’ I don’t want to pollute their style with my own, I love what they do because of what they do, so collaborations really aren’t my thing. I don’t write to ‘socialise’ or to have a really close bond with someone, which isn’t to say that I don’t make friends through writing, or that I don’t have writer friends, but specifically, I don’t want to write in a social way. I’m too introverted, too reclusive, and honestly, too controlling over the stories I want to write. I suspect I’d be an asshole to collaborate with.

It’s no coincidence that I was always that person at university who ended up doing everyone’s work in the ‘group work’ assignments, and eventually preferred it that way.

I do roleplay with a friend though. I’m not open for roleplaying with anyone else, but we’ve easily gotten down over a million words over the past few years. I have tentatively thought about adapting that into an original story, or stories? So that would then count as collaboration? But that’s a lot of work, and honestly I just enjoy that as something that only the two of us currently get to look at.

I’m also really wary of reading AO3 collaborations with two or more authors. Generally speaking, it usually means the story has been roleplayed beforehand, and you either get two perspectives in the same chapter with no breaks between those (which I personally hate, it’s cool if that’s your thing), clumsy transitions between voice, a lack of consistency in style of prose, or get clunky transitions on theme. There’s always exceptions to the rule and I’ve bookmarked a few collaborations, but about 8 out of 10 ‘multi author’ stories I read on AO3 really show (at least on my end, as a reader) the cons of writing with a partner or friends, than they show the pros. :/ I imagine the pros for the author/s though, is that they actually got a story written that might not have been written otherwise.

Even Glen and I have talked about collaborating, and we eventually decided against it, and we live together, and share everything together, lol. And he’s a writer! A very very good one!!

Exceptions to this are: I have and will collaborate in a writer’s room for scriptwriting. Idk why, it just feels different. And I would absolutely collaborate with an artist on a graphic novel. In fact I would love to do that. Also I have illustrated tarot cards for other writers in the past. And have done art collaborations such as the Red Circle series where I painted the sculptures, and Le Animale made the sculptures, and then I did accompanying art and totem meanings. So I guess I’m just also quite fussy about writing quality, and I know how collaborations often fuck the shit out of that in a bad way.

(I have participated in a fic round robin once though but hush let’s never talk about that, it wasn’t a terrible experience I just didn’t really enjoy it either).

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

Okay.

Okay like imagine like, imagine Snowball Earth.

Like we’re in the next ice age.

And imagine all the humans are gone right? They’re just…gone. Maybe there’s like a few pockets left here and there, but otherwise gone.

And now imagine Pitch and Jack and the rest of the Guardians standing on this icy white plain looking out into this vista of endless cold and then Bunnymund just exclaims:

‘Fucking great, Jack, now you’ve gone and done it, haven’t you?’

And then he pops into a tiny little bunny, because there aren’t really many people left to worship any of them anymore.

And Pitch places his hand around Jack’s shoulders and says quietly, with a smile:

‘I’m so proud of you.’

From this meme.

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phansprings · 7 years ago

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okay so, why is your url not dnp related when that's mostly what you post? and your blog in general (profile picture header bio etc.)?

wow, ok, buckle your seatbelts this is a backstory and will be a lONG ANSWER.

i have had this blog since 2011! IT used to be call 12tinyteapots! And i used it with my sister for poetry and memes. THEN It was propinquity, when I was a huge fan of music (as a whole) and then I got really into youtube in like 2012/13 and made a (now forgotten) sideblog for youtubers. (dnp, o2l, shane dawson, onision etc..) SOOO I used this as a blog for memes.

Then i actually stopped liking a lot of youtubers, and i got into 1d and 5sos on tumblr more. and this was a 1d blog, i ended up getting a ton of followers, which are now inactive blogs… but still. so it was mgcliffxrd for a while. and then i stopped liking them and was super e m o in 2014/15ish not only that i was halfway through highschool and it seemed childish? idk?

now in 2015 my bff and i got super into youtube again but only connor franta and dnp. so this blog evolved into memes and youtube again (which is what it is now) (i also at this time was into superwholock and just refound that mess of a sideblog)

the 5sos username wasn’t fitting anymore and so i wanted to choose a more general lowkey url that i wouldnt want to change and if i lost interest in these things again i would be ok to keep it the same. so i chose forgetfulassistance

the url is actually the title of one of my favourite songs by an awesome indie canadian band! the song is about being hella gay and you can read the lyrics here as like i think they relate to dnp HARDCORE js. the song is also a bop

and in 2016 lo and behold! I’m a senior i gave up on dnp after their book came out. I bought it and was just like yeah i think im over this.. and i was focused on like schools and being seniors and the school musical and boyfriends/girlfriends and stuff. I also thought the ph*ndom was super negative and just not a good space at the time i made a post calling it out too s o then i covered all my dnp with memes and sort of left tumblr all together.

(i also think a huge part of leaving then was me being severely depressed and just seeing everyone meeting dnp and just all the bs in my life and on top of that living in the middle of fucking no where canada it costing upwards of $700 to see them and feel like a part of the phandom took a huge toll on 17 year old me)

BUT NOW, ya bitch is 19! she lives in the heart of NYC shes LIVING HER LIFE doing musical theatre shit everyday, having a blast. then i got homesick so my bff and i watched easter baking together on ft and then i remembered my blog and came back to it and just cringed at myself. from 2-5 years ago. and i realized that i still really appreciate and enjoy the content that dan and phil post, and i will reblog the gifs and some textposts and i find to be ~good memes~ but tbh im not as into it as i was like yeah i want to talk abt the tour and them but im not like ALL over them and their relationship. plus like O T H E R super major crap i have to worry abt… i also can really relate to dan and appreciate him talking about his depression as thats one of the things i struggle to talk about especially in my career because if you put your depression on a dance medical directors will read that as unmotivated.

SO MORAL OF THE STORY, dnp got me back into tumblr. and i love this site, and ive had this url for years so im not going to change it bc i like it. as for my profile picture, thats from someone who saw my inTeresting face and decided to draw me and i thought it was amazing,, the rest of my blog i like to keep p general so that if i lose/gain interest in something i dont have to like make any huge changes thats all.

This IS SO LONG BUT THANK U AS LIKE IDK I REALLY ENJOYED TALKING ABT IT AND IM V DRUNK SORRY FOR TYPOS!!!

#long answer #ask #answered #anonymous #THANK YOU!!!#I LOVED ANSWERING THIS AND IT WAS REALLY COOL TO THINK ABT AN LIKE GO BACK ON

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geek-gem · 7 years ago

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A little talk about Michael Bay

I'm gonna say if I sound stupid forgive me and shit. Including correct me please. Also I might get off topic. Yet it's mainly well about the Michael Bay thing on the Dora The Explorer movie.

Including I found the notes funny mainly in the 2nd thing I reblogged that relates to this which was the last thing before my latest reblog. Seeing funny notes and ones I agree with. Basically the kind of jokes I forgot to hope for people would make when Michael Bay gets involved with a franchise. Including a cartoon.

I'm gonna say Thank you @angel-baez hope your not bothered by me mentioning you. But thanks for sharing that news.

But okay back on topic Michael Bay. I don't like him as a director. While honestly some of his films seem okay haven't seen them all. I'm mainly talking about the bigger ones where he's involved with a franchise. Such as Transformers and TMNT. Now Dora too and I remember okay these are cartoons in a way. While others were film franchise's.

Including I was inspired seeing a latest post about Steven Universe a reblog by Angel himself love that name lol chill out normal to smile just did. But about view points or yeah it's that post I mainly think about. But also the other Dora related posts.

Basically I wanted to say this and I did think a bit and waited till these women left Pizza Hut where I feel better to type this.

In fact this is where I get off topic.

Despite all the critical shit Steven Universe gets.

In a way or no yes.

Be grateful Steven Universe doesn't have Michael Bay putting his hands on it.

Including being pissed off at times at certain times people hating on the Crewniverse however it goes yeah that's how it's spelt remember.

But remembering seeing someone call Rebecca Sugar a racist which made me go what the fuck and other things. Including at times me being angry that I would like the show to be taken away from people yet that is not reasonable.

The concept and idea of Micheal Bay working on an adaption of Steven Universe or on the show itself. You would be begging for the original crew to still be working on it and praise the original show as a masterpiece.

Including Micheal Bay his films mainly the big ones or just.... here's some stuff. The explosions lots of people know that it's like a meme of him. Including sexualizing women at times. But at the same time I'm trying to not sound stupid. Yet women in his films just...Jesus. Also racism and I suppose if I remember right stereotypes. Along with thin plotlines honestly not everything has to be big but when it's the same shit mainly discussing the Transformers films. Basically Michael Bay does a lot of shit.

It's fucking amazing the 5th Transformers film was shit and it had new writers but it proved something if Michael Bay is still on. We are never going to get a film as okay or as good as the first film or even better. Including the aftermath of that 5th film sweet Jesus I'm glad I didn't see it. Yet it feels so weird I didn't seeing the film on sale on the PlayStation Store on my PS4 and just that 4th film changed me. Or basically I don't really like the Nostalgia Critic yet his video about that 4th film changed me. Where Doug plays the character.

Even though I changed over time about my opinions and shit. Yet I'm mainly upset and see the Transformers live action films as some of the worst ways to adapt a franchise got a text message from a aid from school told her some what an hour ago I left.

Seriously it makes me sad. Including I wanna mention seriously you would praise a Zack Snyder adaptation or just version of Steven Universe and I have thought of this. I don't hate Zack Snyder I like his work. But also people's reactions to him are crazy. Including I some times make jokes about Steven dies and he comes back Jesus style.

Including during the first Steven Bomb of 2016 after that bomb actually. Made some weird thing this thought Rose is God, Yellow Diamond is the devil, and Steven is Jesus yet that's bullshit some weird religious meaning shit but when I found out about well actually more in depth of what the show was doing. That no one was a villain in the show and we look into why they do the things they do. It changed me thinking that some post I liked when I was still new here on Tumblr. Basically talking about or mentioning yeah Steven Universe isn't a black and white tv show.

But sorry to get off topic. Were on the case of Michael Bay but just saying you'll like a Zack Snyder version of Steven Universe maybe he'll shove a lot of story lines in the face and change some stuff. Yet respect them at the same time. Also just really I'm thinking just... seriously some criticals have pissed me off that I think of how the show should be.

Yet Michael Bay back to him. His work on stuff like Transformers and TMNT, will say the first film is the reason I became a fan yet just...it's another story. I don't mind the third yet seriously just everything.

I was okay with the first TMNT but thought the 2nd was better. Yet their not the best it depends on your own opinion.

Seriously no one attacks Michael Bay or says let's boy cott his stuff yet people assume Rebecca Sugar is a racist when clearly their intention was not that. Along with even if it's a show. Movies and TV shows are different but seriously you complain of how some characters are portrayed and consider some stereotypes. I could try to understand in a way. But compare that to the shit Michael Day has done. Including other films like Pain And Gain a film that was really surprised and shocked me. In a way one of his better films. But my judgement is a weird considered he based that upon a real life crime and other shit.

Also the famous Nostalgia Critic review of Pearl Harbor while I never seen the film. Just well I have seen bits of it at Hawaii last year yeah interesting right at Hawaii just....I don't care for Nostalgia Critic much these days despite some funny moments. The film doesn't seem to be the best.

I'm sounding stupid basically just what he touches I just don't like his work. Seriously it's a miracle he doesn't have his hands on the Sonic The Hedgehog franchise on that upcoming film by Paramount not Sony. While I rather have Warner Bros to have the rights for personal reasons. Yet keep Bay away from that shit typos for shit and others.

I remember that Sonic Legends fake movie thing I talked about and it was fake yet I believed it, but it was on Deviantart this awesome poster and information. It saying Michael Bay directing and I think Steven Spielberg executive producing like with the Transformers films. Also DreamWorks and Paramount a CGI PG-13 movie. Amazing years later Paramount actually gets the rights.

But the thought of that and Michael Bay fucking up storylines while not the best some were deep. Such as Shadow's story from Sonic Adventure 2 and Sonic Unleashed a game I love and reblogged a shit ton. Including even keep him away from Sonic Forces and Sonic Mania despite I dislike the custom character. I'm being weird wanna mention 06 but no yet just tv is on in here and some guy in here.

Seriously I thought this imagine The Loud House him working on that and considering the shit that went down, or Wander Over Yonder, or OK KO shows I love and others too.

I got off topic yet this could relate to Dora The Explorer which was a cartoon first. Just.....I'm getting worked up. But I wanted to talk about that Steven Universe part and Sonic. Yet I thought of other things like other cartoons.

Oh yeah imaging Michael Bay's Gravity Falls I don't like that show anymore but God damn the idea lol normal to smile.....

I don't think I'll tag this just....I'm typing this in a Pizza Hut lol just I feel that says something. But lol almost left I but just almost left o.....smiled right now.....

I'm getting distracted but I seriously wanted to talk about this. Sorry ticks started to get ahold of me my Autism. I was basically trying to be deep lol just....smiling a bit because it's funny in a way but sad.

Yet I could be getting worked up. But I think someone should say sometime I seriously thought that was fake yet that college humor thing did it say it parodied Michael Bay just asking. I need to finish my pizza and sorry to bother

Edit wow my smile wasn't really a little talk and even thought first I just wrote This

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geek-gem · 8 years ago

Text

The Sega Dreamcast and the Sonic Adventure series

Now feel like making this and no tags well I'm wanting to be sure. But last night just was kind of interesting including went to bed early by mistake but woke up at 2:30 am maybe and was on the laptop for a bit yet tried to change the plug thing for the PlayStation 1 for the Sega Dreamcast. For anyone who wants to know also head be nice but the Sega Dreamcast was Sega's last video game console and the first of the 6th generation of video game consoles. It it almost put loved but it love again just it lived a short life yet it has its fan base including me. I'm gonna be honest I use to like sonic a lot when I was younger yet as I grew older I started to dislike the series more. Including naming sonic the blue bastard hedgehog. But also it's fan base I mean like the stuff and reboot's happening with the comics and what people want and sonic not having an identity for the series. It's a long story and I'm a guy who doesn't wanna be part of it. Yet as I grew older I learned to understand what people liked about certain parts such as the Archie Comics series and other things. Such as giving sonic more story and I'm not caring of putting a shift this thing for sonic but will try it anyway. Including just I learned to like some stuff a bit more. Along with that it was also the cause well the now distaste for the series of how it is. Including I'm terrified for having a opinion in this fandom yet luckily I have a friend who's a Sonic fan there got that who I can talk to. I'll say this I for some reason praise that Sonic OVA thing that was released in 1996 and I'm okay with Sonic X their are some things I liked about it. Yet it seems like okay I'll mention this I think some one on DeviantArt a person I never talked to they blocked me and maybe cause I have some weird thoughts some opinions of my own. Also they were one of the many people who liked the Archie Comics and even talked about how much they hated the first Sonic Adventure. Including some other games and.....also they liked Sly Cooper, Jak And Daxter, and, Ratchet And Clank and how those were better and just saying I agree. But the should I say mother fucker well just did lol the guy blocked me yet I think I never spoke to him. Yet hey remember reading one of their posts luckily some one also thinks of that upcoming Sonic movie all I think of is those Transformers love action movies. Sorry just really I think my interest got back to Sonic when my friend got me more into Game Grumps and I love their play through's of some Sonic games they've played. Also I'm gonna say I'm mainly like Arin Hanson when it's with Sonic and his games. Or mainly just what the series can do better. Even if Sonic Adventure was released in Japan first in 1998 and Sonic Adventure 2 was released in 2001 and Japan first I think also they did that a lot in the past for some Sonic games. I like some games including some of them stand out to be even some stand alone games. Yet I seem to like the Adventure series quite more. Because and I think many people as well think also that their was some good stuff with their games they weren't perfect but their were things I liked about them. If they were written better and remade during these days I might love them a lot more. Okay now about the games I deleted all of my data for them even if I never finished any of them I just wanted to anyway to get some what of a new experience. Also my Dreamcast if i don't play it a lot I have to adjust the time and date again. Yet for Sonic Adventure 1 it felt nice. Mainly played Sonic and during that honestly I seriously question if I should be recorded me talking about I want something cohesive such as the characters ages I'm just bothered by how some of the characters are stuck being their ages so one time on one day I thought to myself okay new paragraph. I thought should if the ages in their first game they appear in what year would they be born in and later on. Including I was using real years such as placing each Sonic Adventure game during the years they were released in. It's kind of funny and I sent this message to my friend on Tumblr when I was at Pizza Hut. Mainly it was for characters in the Dreamcast era such as the Sonic Adventure series, Sonic Advance but mainly the sequel cause of Cream and Cheese, and Sonic Heroes. What I discovered of Sonic's default age is 15 and he first appeared in 1991 now counting that arcade game where he's a keychain but his actual first living main game appearance as a actual character. He would of been in born in 1976 and as of now he would of turned 40 last year. You can laugh at that if you want and think of the games. For some reason keep thinking of the Resident Evil games where they have ages set for characters and I like that. So I thought of that for the Sonic series. Sorry but yeah their was that where I was randomly talking about what years characters would of been born in and saying Sonic is dead and just messing around and honestly the game plays well and for being released in 1998 original and released in 1999 to North America it's pretty good in a way, including me making stupid dark jokes like at the casino if it was a regular human. Mainly after I fought Knuckle's meh spoilers or whatever I decided to lay in bed and I fell asleep and woke up at 10 something. That time oh wait before I slept watched some The Loud House first and the I dozed off at 5 something I think or whatever. Then after taking a shower maybe was on my laptop and well forgot but I played a bit more and playing Sonic till I met Amy and played Tails but stopped at the first boss fight for him. Honestly the one game I seemed to think of the most was Sonic Adventure 2 and even it's GameCube version and HD version which long ago bought on my original PS3. Maybe it's cause it has some stuff I liked more and I just played it on Dreamcast. Honestly I think its a improvement and I enjoy it more then the original Sonic Adventure game. Stopped playing the Hero story when I got into the military base stage as Sonic, and for Dark story stopped when I got into the stage, "Sand Ocean". Including just well Loud House is also on at 8. Had to change ad to as and almost put ad again just before Sonic and just typos man. Even for the word put and again for put. I'm typing this on my phone. But theirs this guy on YouTube called Somecallmejohnny he's a video game reviewer and he's reviewed Sonic games and he's a Sonic fan and I like them. Including was watching some of him today. Some of them are long yet if you manage to make it through some of them I think just I'm being silly he's great and funny man. His reviews are maybe kind of how I see these games maybe. In fact will say this when playing the original Sonic Adventure I gonna stop pressing the same speech thing when I'm with a person and it reminds me when I kept grabbing a rocket launcher and switching my assault rifle a lot in Killzone 2 and I legit said to myself during that game this is why I'm autistic supposedly insulting myself and this happened with Sonic Adventure. Also another funny thing when in that jewelry store or whatever in Sonic Adventure just funny taking off that stone off and on. Sorry yet just.....honestly these Sonic games are ones I like. I think that Sony Sonic movie is what got me thinking again and hey wanna say Knuckles is a lol meme lol my body was moving just those reblogs about him saying and then just quiet laughing just the whole I lived thing and I say I lived mother fucker. But again sorry and you know.....I have ideas for Sonic but I'm kind of nervous and just.....honestly a almost left rabbit lol but a reboot of the Sonic series would be nice please. In fact just...kind of sad of how the series of what it's become. Along with that other Sega games are marketed or as made as much as Sonic. Yet with that news from years ago that cause of Rise Of Lyric and just the Game Grumps series of that shows what's so wrong with that game I've heard they wanna do better. I do have ideas yet they seem kind of fan fiction lol and along with the stories being more teen rated. Also it could be cause that Sony Sonic movie is in my head. Along with the Adventure games and some others. Which was why some hours ago listened to some music and thought about Sonic such as Linkin Park and others. Maybe I'll make them here just I need to think and just also I made this a bit better. But also wanna ask who wants the Game Grumps play Sonic Adventure 2 and see how that goes post just yeah I wanna see that and just what Arin lol Aron's but Arin's and Danny's reaction would be to that game. Also typos but seriously I want that to happen lol I want them to play ether version maybe the GameCube version they would go with lol if someone sends them something just I'll post them. But yeah I want that damn miss post lol....I wanna see that Game Grumps series

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