#also I hope my Spanish is decent

[fastandcarlos]

Baby Perez Is Mine : ̗̀➛ Max Verstappen

summary: after getting to know your brother’s team mate max, you soon find that it’s more than just a friendship that’s struck between the two of you

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liked by schecoperez, lilymhe and 179,583 others

ynperez: always a joy to pay a visit to red bull and make sure everyone knows that mexicans obviously do it best ❤️💙

27,058 comments

username1: I just love how supportive yn is of sergio and his whole career!

schecoperez: thanks for always making sure there’s at least one sergio fan in the crowd 😘

ynperez: @/schecoperez always got your back brother 🫶🏻

username2: it’s nice to see someone in a red bull hat with two 1s on it for a change

maxverstappen1: tell that to the driver’s standings loser ��

ynperez: @/maxverstappen1 we don’t accept any perez slander in this house thank you!!

username3: it’s the way she just pops up at all these random races for me 😂

carlossainz55: want me to show you the spanish way? 🇪🇸

ynperez: @/carlossainz55 can assure you no one is as smooth as a perez 😏

username4: thank you yn for always being sergio’s number one fan 🥺

username5: ngl max gives me annoying middle sibling vibes when he’s with these two 😂

lilymhe: sorry you were at the race and didn’t think to come and see me 😤

ynperez: @/lilymhe sorryyyyy it was just too busy, I promise next time I’m yours 🥺

username6: the way that most of the drivers and wags love yn more than anyone else speaks volumes 🔊

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by lancestroll, redbullracing and 582,048 others

schecoperez: such a proud weekend to be racing at home with so much support. thank you to everyone in mexico for all the love 🇲🇽🏎️

37,048 comments

maxverstappen1: super race and lots of points, let’s push on to the end of the season 💪🏻

username7: no one can convince me that these two aren’t secretly the cutest pairing on the grid

ynperez: most of that love was from me btw, loudest in the grandstand by far 🥲

schecoperez: @/ynperez have I mentioned your the best baby sister ever 🤔

username8: I hope you heard us nice and loud whilst you were driving around today sergio 🫶🏻

username9: thank you for always bringing the party to the podium ❤️

estebanocon: you should race at home more often if you perform like that

username10: such an incredible weekend, we’re all so proud of you sergio!!

landonorris: idk where that hat came from but I need one asap 😂

schecoperez: @/landonorris we don’t just give these out to any random guy you know

username11: I’m not ready for this weekend to be over already…

danielricciardo: huge race buddy, congrats on some super points 💪🏻

username12: not me not wondering when we’ll next get to see yn and sergio together again 💔

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 2,859,261 others

maxverstappen1: no better way to spend a week off than exploring the world with my favourite person 🥺 (who also bribes me with beer to take selfies so it’s worth it 😭🍺)

274,261 comments

charles_leclerc: fancy telling us who the lucky girl is that’s taken the max verstappen off the market!?!?

username13: I was not prepared for max to drop this bomb on us today

alex_albon: look at you being all mysterious and secretive on instagram 😂

redbullracing: all we needed to do was buy a beer to stop you giving admin a breakdown with your shocking social posts…

maxverstappen1: @/redbullracing admin can comment when you’ve got more followers than me ☺️

username14: whoever this girl is, she must make max incredibly weak for him to agree to take a selfie 😂

landonorris: congrats on being able to finally take a half decent photo 👏🏻

username15: boyfriend era max can be welcomed with open arms!!

schecoperez: we work together every week and fail to mention you’ve got a girlfriend 🙄

maxverstappen1: @/schecoperez you have to promise not to kill me if I share…

schecoperez: @/maxverstappen1 you can’t tell me something like that and not elaborate!!

danielricciardo: if I knew beer was all it took I’d have got you social media trained years ago 🤦🏻‍♂️

username16: who is this favourite person and how can I take their place???

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 193,747 others

ynperez: turns out the dutch just as good as the mexicans 🥺🏎️

38,372 comments

username17: wtf this is the plot twist that I did not see coming 😱

schecoperez: still getting over this absolute betrayal btw 😭

ynperez: @/schecoperez I promise you’re still secretly my number one 🫶🏻

landonorris: wasn’t happy with f1 driver in your life so decided to pull another too ☺️

username18: and now I remember why yn is so popular with all the other drivers 😂

danielricciardo: last time I checked max was mine and now you come along and stolen him 😭

carmenmmundt: why do i feel like I’ve blinked and missed a whole load of chapters here???

ynperez: @/carmenmmundt answer your damn phone and I’ll fill you in!!

username19: why do I feel like I’ve missed out on so many chapters in the story here

alex_albon: I hope you’re only making reference to their driving in that caption 🤔

ynperez: @/alex_albon @/lilymhe come get your man and his head out the gutter please!!

username20: rip sergio 😭 he must be a ruined man right now

username21: how did none of us actually see this coming with how close they are??

flavy.barla: emergency date night for all the details is pending…

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by alex_albon, oscarpiastri and 327,509 others

ynperez: for all the red bull girlies terrified I had ruined the team forever, here’s the three of us are playing a game of padel to remind you that red bull are gonna win the championship again this year! ❤️💙

52,927 comments

username22: if there’s one person who always believes in red bull it’s yn 🤩

maxverstappen1: you nearly ruined the relationship by picking to play with sergio instead of me 😭

ynperez: @/maxverstappen1 you were better than the two of us combined anyway 😂

username23: why do I feel like yn was more there to be cheerleader than actually player??

landonorris: wondering where my invite to this game was??

danielricciardo: @/landonorris funnily enough the text didn’t arrive on my phone either

oscarpiastri: @/danielricciardo @/landonorris I thought it was just me who’d been forgotten 💔

ynperez: @/oscarpiastri that’s because you’re so bad you make me look good at padel 😂

username24: I also want to be part of these padel games fyi 🙌🏻

schecoperez: that’s what we call a fake smile trying to not be sick watching the two of you together 🤮

ynperez: @/schecoperez you love us both really 💙

lancestroll: when they said red bull was a happy family, I didn’t realise quite how close that family was 😂

username25: these photos summarise the team perfectly, sergio just happy to be here whilst max is super focused and competitive!

georgerussell63: next time we’ll have to play a game together

carmenmmundt: @/georgerussell63 @/ynperez we can sit and gossip whilst the boys play more like 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by schecoperez, charles_leclerc and 3,842,162 others

maxverstappen1: so proud to win another world title and do it with my best friend right by my side. thank you for all the incredible support this year, red bull fans really are the best ❤️🏆💙

482,172 comments

ynperez: couldn’t be happier to be there by your side today, congratulations on an incredible season darling 💞

maxverstappen1: @/ynperez you’re the best prize to come out of this season still 💞

username26: were all so proud of you max, yet another incredible season 🎉

landonorris: next year I’m coming for your ass just so you know 😉

username27: this thread of photos must have sergio raging in his driver’s room somewhere

schecoperez: don’t remember my sister being the one to race alongside you all season 🤷🏻‍♂️

username28: never in doubt, we all always knew you’d do it max!!

danielricciardo: I always knew you’d do it all those years ago…and look where we are now!

username29: best friend 🥺 if you listen closely you can hear sergio’s heart breaking…

charles_leclerc: it’s been an honour as always to race alongside you this season! 👏🏻

username30: it can’t be denied that these two are just the cutest!

username31: who knew a dutch and a mexican could be so well suited 🤩

redbullracing: our champion and our driver, we couldn’t be happier to have you with us max ❤️💙

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by ynperez, schecoperez and 3,117,058 others

maxverstappen1: turns out I forgot to mention the other perez in my life, so shout out to sergio for being the best teammate ever and introducing me to his smoking hot sister 🔥

317,028 comments

schecoperez: this was almost a cute caption until I read that last sentence…and now I want to knock you out 🥊

maxverstappen1: @/schecoperez just remember the bit where I told you you were the best teammate ever 😘

username32: how have I only just noticed how chaotic this duo is 😂

username33: admin hurry up and bring us more content from these two asap!

username34: max better start running whilst sergio hunts down his ass

username35: I wonder if yn realises what she’s started with these two now 🤔

username36: how has it taken me this long to realise how good of a team these two are 😂

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

liked by landonorris, alexandrasaintmleux and 328,018 others

ynperez: best date ever to watch my best friend get married 🥂 so happy to spend your special day with you sergio and carolina 💞

38,472 comments

username37: you two look incredible…congratulations sergio and carolina 💞

schecoperez: hopefully it’ll be you guys next and we’ll be welcoming max into the family 🥺

maxverstappen1: @/schecoperez is this you saying you want to be brothers in law??? 🥹

schecoperez: @/maxverstappen1: let’s not get too ahead of ourselves now…

landonorris: @/schecoperez I agree, hurry up and put a ring on it verstappen 😂

username38: I can’t get over how adorable the two of you are together 😭

landonorris: who knew you two scrubbed up so well!?

ynperez: @/landonorris we just hide it well 😇

username39: is this extended invite sergio finally accepting of max!?

estebanocon: I’ve never heard a sister of the groom speech before, but you really set quite the high standard 😂

username40: can’t wait for these three to keep annoying each other forever 😂

danielricciardo: damn yn idk what you’ve done to max but he’s never looked hotter 🔥

ynperez: @/danielricciardo careful otherwise people might think it’s you two who are dating…

username41: this feels like a competition to pick which is the cuter couple…

oscarpiastri: looks like you guys all had the most magical day 🥂

username42: you know I secretly think sergio is thrilled that they’re together, he just hides it well 😂

maxverstappen1: feeling pretty lucky to have the most beautiful date in the world, my stunning girl 💞

ynusername: @/maxverstappen1 it’s easy to look good with you by my side 🥺

˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[minkdelovely]

kinktober — day III

prompt: lingerie

mirror, mirror

“like seeing shooting stars  in the sky there’s danger in the dark  of your eyes”

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Alastor x Lucifer ; RadioApple ; MDNI 18+

tags/warnings: human au, age gap (lucifer is fifty, alastor is mid-thirties), non-sex-repulsed alastor, luci is a bummed divorcé, alastor is an attentive salesman, unhinged peter mention, rimming, anal fingering, prostate massage, dom!alastor x sub!luci vibes? 🪞✨

word count: 4.8k

summary: lucifer, fresh off a finalized divorce, wants to buy himself a present, but is pretending to shop for his now ex-wife as a cover. alastor, the shopkeeper, helps to curate the perfect gift.

author’s note: hello my little devils! i hope you’ve been enjoying kinktober so far, and i am here to humbly offer up my first piece of the month. this is also my first attempt at a human au, and i had a lot of fun with it. i love making luci up into a pretty, rich suburbanite hehe quote is from lightning by charli xcx

coven: @fraugwinska @hazelfoureyes @macabr3-barbi3 @sugoi-writes @synamartia 🕯️♥️

the coven’s kinktober masterlist

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Lucifer was sat at the patio of a cafe, killing time. His latte had gone cold at least twenty minutes ago. The foamed milk had dissolved and oil from the coffee beans left a reflective film on the surface that turned his stomach, while his fingers anxiously tore at the delicious (and overpriced) pain au chocolat he had ordered with it. He was alone, but that wasn’t unusual these days. 

Or, well… for the last couple years, if he was being honest.

The divorce had been finalized a month ago, but his marriage had been colder than his coffee long before that. How Lilith hadn’t walked away sooner than she did at the top of this year was a mystery, considering the winter their marriage had become. Their split had been colder still. Dividing their assets with an aloof disinterest that never failed to spook their attorneys, who were much more accustomed to — and delighted by — bloodbaths.

My bitch of a mother-in-law is warmer, his own had quipped through a plastic smile. And she’s been dead for five years!

Lucifer paid it no mind. It was none of Peter’s fucking business how the rift between him and his wife had gotten as wide as it had. Their interests and careers had pushed them further and further apart with every one of Charlie’s birthdays, every anniversary. Until the gap was simply too far to bridge. 

A Gap Too Far, one could call it. 

A huff of a laugh rattled his petite frame, and he shook his head at the lameness of the joke — though it would make for a decent porno, and he was partial to Historical Fiction. The wry smile on his lips was the first to grace him all week. But he wasn’t here to wallow in self pity in view of the general public. There was plenty of time to do that at home. 

Lucifer eyed the boutique across the street, his pulse jumping as he watched a man approach the inside of the display window and flip the elegant wooden Closed sign to Open.

He had noticed the place the last time he and Charlie came here for some retail therapy. This street had always been a favorite destination of hers, and Lucifer would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy it himself. It was like if Rodeo Drive had gone Coastal Grandma. Spanish style buildings with crisp white exteriors, hand-painted shop names, and espresso tiled roofs. Tree-covered patio dining at nearly every restaurant. Serenely picturesque, albeit a bit uppity. It was a bitch-and-a-half to find parking, though.

They had shopped for hours until eventually capping the day with some gelato before making the forty-five minute drive home. In short, it had been a perfect day. As was typically the case when he was spending time with his daughter.

The lingerie shop had replaced a different store — one that Lucifer couldn’t really remember. Before a couple months ago, it had been nearly two years since the last time he was here. Point being, he was just really glad the place was still there and he definitely would have noticed it before.

The guy inside didn’t hurt, either…

Lucifer had seen him through the window as he and Charlie walked past to get to the record store across the way. It was a brief meeting of eyes, but earth-shattering all the same. Lucifer would never forget how the body shiver left his hair on edge, like he had just passed through a cloud of static. Those warm hazel eyes, dazzling smile, and handsome face all but burned into his retinas and Lucifer had spent many hours since imagining what his voice sounded like or what cologne he wore.

It had been so hard not to find an excuse to sneak away from Charlie to slip into the boutique. Beyond the Adonis working there, the display window was immaculately dressed with a selection of elegant silk and chiffon robes; enticing passersby with their pretty silhouettes and rich colors. Lucifer had a particular… weakness when it came to this, and it was one he had been unable to properly indulge in during his marriage. But he had been dreaming of the gorgeous robes (and the equally gorgeous mystery man) for weeks, and now that everything had gone through with the separation he couldn’t see a reason why he shouldn’t treat himself.

To a robe! Or maybe a playsuit.

Lucifer finished the last bite of his pastry and brushed the crumbs off his fingers, giving himself a quick once-over to ensure none of the toasted flecks had settled on his clothes. While he scrunched his nose at needlessly overpriced things, such as his breakfast, he didn’t bat an eye when it came to his wardrobe. Lucifer would rather be struck dead by lightning in the street than enter the lingerie shoppe in a stained cashmere sweater. Mercifully, he had avoided disaster. The heather-pink of his sweater remained untarnished, his white linen pants pristine; a favorite of his that showcased the daintiness of his ankles. There weren’t even any scuffs on his loafers, which he had owned and worn now for at least a year.

He caught his reflection in the cafe window and preened. Fuck, he looked good, especially for fifty. His platinum blonde hair was perfectly tousled, designer sunglasses resting just above his forehead like a makeshift headband. The crossbody bag he found with Charlie accentuated his slim waist under the comfort of his sweater, the hemline of which stopped at the hip, allowing for a full view of his lean legs and resiliently pert ass. The slight opacity of the linen showing off his meticulously chosen underwear and the legs in question when the sun hit him just right. 

Yeah. He was definitely just here to buy a robe…

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The pleasant sound of a bell rang as Lucifer entered the boutique, a delicate tinkle compared to the nervous beating of his heart and the soft jazz that was playing over the speakers. Now that he was in the shop, Lucifer couldn’t help but wonder if he hadn’t underprepared himself for this. An initial sweep of the inventory revealed an overwhelming choice of items, making him the proverbial kid in the candy store, and he felt immediately out of his depth. Not that this was his first time in a place like this. Far from it. But it was the first time he was here to explicitly shop for himself, and not for Lilith.

The mysterious shopkeeper looked up from his place behind the counter with an easy smile, and Lucifer felt that same static tingle ripple through him again as he made his way out from behind it to greet him. The younger man was taller than him by nearly a foot, with a sinuous frame that Lucifer wanted to climb like a tree. If he had any desire to back out, there was no way out of this now. 

“Good morning, sir, welcome in! Is there anything I may help you find today?”

Lucifer was properly stupefied, the reality of the voice he’d been daydreaming of far exceeding expectation. His voice was rich and smooth, reminiscent of a golden-age movie star, with a slight nasal pitch. And while the distance between them was polite, they were standing close enough that Lucifer could catch the smallest whiff of cologne and swallowed thickly at the tantalizing blend of tobacco and vanilla. The warm, inviting scent was agonizingly perfect and it took all he had not to drool. It was too easy to imagine the man spritzing his gorgeous tawny skin with the perfume, standing only in his belted pants and a white tank top before moving on to get fully dressed. 

How was he this much of a mess over someone whose name he didn’t even know? Lucifer scanned for a name tag but found nothing. With how cleanly-dressed the man was, he wouldn’t be surprised if the missing tag was a win for aesthetics over professionalism. Not that Lucifer was offended by its absence, but it would have been a nice way to avoid having to go through the mental gymnastics of asking after this guy’s name in a way that didn’t reveal his desperation to know it.

It didn’t help with the way those hazel eyes were watching him behind thin-rimmed glasses. Paired with his primly styled chestnut hair, it gave him the air of a sexy librarian despite the blood-red button-up and slacks he was wearing in a sea of lace and leather.

“Good morning!” Lucifer reciprocated, perhaps a tad too boisterously, with the flash of amusement that crossed the man’s face. “Uh, this is actually my first time in, so I think I’ll just look around for now…”

The admission sparked something in those beguiling eyes, and the toothy, bright smile that followed made Lucifer want to scream. 

“You don’t say! Well, I appreciate you stopping in to take a peek at this shop of mine. Please feel free to wander — I’ll be right behind the counter if you need anything Mister…?”

Thank God, an opening.

“Oh, please call me Lucifer,” he supplied, reactively sticking his hand out in greeting to reveal the middle-aged man that he was. “And who do I have the pleasure of speaking with?”

For a second Lucifer worried that he had laid it on too thick, but the thought disappeared when the younger man accepted his hand with a firm shake and a light laugh. 

“My name is Alastor, and I assure you the pleasure is all mine, Lucifer. I hope you enjoy looking around, but please don’t hesitate to ask for any assistance. It’s just yours truly today, as you can see, so consider me at your mercy.”

If you only fucking knew, Alastor.

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Lucifer spent the next fifteen minutes meandering through the store, taking his time to inspect the collection of robes, corsets, and hosiery. Despite the boutique being relatively small, Lucifer had to admit that he was quite impressed with the selections offered here. There was an array of brassieres, ranging from cute to scandalous, some made with lace while others were adorned in Swarovski crystals. Most of them had matching panties, though Lucifer had managed to find a few that also paired with a corset and other accessories. 

He had been particularly tempted by a set that came with an ouvert suspender, the attached lace panties designed with a small opening between the hips that left him just a little out of breath even though the open gusset in the back was much more… inviting. He didn’t have breasts to fill out the brassiere with though, so the price tag felt a bit more justifiable given that he could get away with just the suspender, some stockings, and maybe some pasties if he was really going for it. It wasn’t what he originally had in mind, but the thought of leaving it behind made Lucifer’s heart sink.

Not that he had anyone to show it off to, but this was supposed to be a gift to himself. Something he could put on in the comfort of his bedroom and make himself feel good on days when life was kicking his ass, which had been all too common recently.

“Find something we like?” Alastor’s voice came from behind him, his breath tickling the back of Lucifer’s ear with his proximity.

Lucifer jumped a bit, forced back into the present from his daydream. The image of his pale skin glowing under the sleek, almost wet-looking black fabric and lace still burning in his mind’s eye.

“Oh! Uh… yeah, you could say that,” he answered bashfully, clearing his throat. Though he didn’t bother to hide the little number in his hands. “I’m just wondering what my, uh, wife would think of it.”

Alastor hummed in response, the sound of it too ambiguous for Lucifer to decipher, but hopefully he had maintained his cover. While Lucifer definitely had a little bit of a crush on the man, he wasn’t quite ready to admit to a stranger that he was actually in here for himself. Whether or not Alastor would care was an answer to something he found himself too scared to want to know.

“What does she normally like?” Alastor posed, walking out from behind him. “I might be biased, but I find this set to be pretty glamorous. I can’t see why she’d find it offensive. Between us, it’s one of my favorites that we’re selling now.”

Lucifer could’ve fallen to his knees then and there. His daydream, still too fresh in his mind, elicits his image again now with Alastor sitting on the edge of his bed. Those hazel eyes gone dark with hunger as Lucifer stands between his legs, lost in the abyss while Alastor kneads his backside with those lovely hands of his.

“Her taste changes with the tides,” Lucifer says wryly. “Likes to keep me on my toes, I guess.”

If only that had been the full truth. Changing tastes, yes, but Lilith couldn’t be bothered to keep him in the loop. Nor had he cared to be after years of mutual indifference. He had done his best to stop caring after the first dozen failed attempts at reigniting their spark, seeking his own pleasures and comfort in the solace of what became his bedroom when Lilith temporarily moved into the pool house. And Lord knows she was having a grand old time in there. What a relief it had been when she moved out for good, leaving his driveway clear of unfamiliar (and ever-changing) luxury cars.

“Would you like to try it on?” Alastor offered, arms crossed respectfully behind his back.

The perfect neutrality in his tone delayed Lucifer’s ability to process the question, until it hit him like a ton of bricks. His face grew hot and he felt himself stir in his pants at the prospect, deepening the flush on his face. He was more than eager to make his daydream a reality but… here? 

“Me?” Lucifer balked, a nervous laugh following suit. “Oh no! It’s not for me, why would I try it on?”

Alastor’s smile was polite, but his eyes gleamed with a mischief that made Lucifer feel naked, and he shifted self-consciously on his feet. 

“To make sure it fits, of course! How nice it must be that you both wear a similar size.”

They didn’t. 

Lucifer had always thought his petite frame paled in comparison to Lilith’s buxom figure, though they complimented each other nicely. But Alastor didn’t need to know that, and it really would be a shame to spend all this money on something that might not fit him once he got home. Or even worse, what if he just didn’t end up liking it? He’d have to drive all the way back here to return or exchange it, like so many other dejected partners who had failed to get the perfect gift. 

For the second time today he thought he’d rather be struck dead by lightning. If he was coming back here, it wouldn’t be to take a hit on Alastor’s sales goals. 

Fuck it.

“Yeah, I suppose you have a point… you’re the professional, after all.”

The smile Alastor bestowed on him then made Lucifer shiver, it was so disarmingly handsome. Had he been paying more attention to Alastor’s eyes he may have well and truly fallen to his knees. But since he hadn’t, he followed the younger man to the back of the store where the dressing rooms were.

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

A knock on the door gave Lucifer a start. 

“Lucifer, are you decent? I’ve taken the liberty of grabbing a few other items for you to consider. I hope you don’t mind.”

Decent.

He was, in fact, anything but. 

Lucifer had been admiring his reflection for the last few minutes, having gotten himself situated in the suspender. The inky black fabric was cool and soft against his porcelain skin, glowing like candlelight against the darkness. It fit like a dream, hugging the taper of his waist in the front while the lace of the open gusset and chap style of the garment elevated his ass from perfect to ethereal. Lucifer had actually started tearing up before he realized his dick was getting hard. A revelation made mere seconds before Alastor knocked on the door.

So, no. He wasn’t decent in any sense of the word.

Mercifully, Alastor had provided a robe for him to slip into, and he quickly pulled it on while calling over his shoulder that he’d be just a second. He shuddered from the sensation of his awakening cock throbbing against the slight abrasiveness of the lace, hoping to whatever God could hear him that Alastor wouldn’t notice he had been turned on by his own reflection.

He took a deep breath and opened the door, Alastor looking statuesque in his patience with an array of pretty black fabric in his arms.

“Whoa, you weren’t kidding,” Lucifer said, a little breathless. 

“I figured it might help, since you’re still on the fence with the suspender. Have you tried it on yet?”

Lucifer glanced away, sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. The polite look on Alastor’s face was too much of a contradiction for the obscenity he was hiding under his robe. But there was no reason to lie.

“Uh, yeah, actually. It fits really well,” Lucifer conceded. Then, remembering his cover-up, he quickly added, “Too bad it’s not for me, though! Let’s see what else you’ve got there.”

Alastor merely smiled and presented his curation. Lucifer inspected the items with reverence, soaking in the feeling of each of the differing fabrics and garments. He had never felt so free to enjoy them before, his admiration always forced through a lens of appreciating how they looked on someone else. He had been looking at a pair of stockings when it hit him.

They were in his size.

True, he had gone along with the facade that he and his pretend-wife were similar in size. It hadn’t phased Lucifer in the least when he was looking at the slips and panties Alastor had procured. But as the realization of the hosiery bloomed, Lucifer also realized that there weren’t any bras or corsets in the pile. Lucifer felt dizzy as blood rushed to his face and cock, and the proud chuckle from the younger man didn’t help.

“Looks like I’ve been found out,” Alastor said smoothly, not at all apologetic. “I hope I haven’t overstepped, but I couldn’t help myself. You have lovely taste so I figured I’d give you a few options if the suspender wasn’t working out. I hope you haven’t changed out of it — I haven’t had the pleasure of seeing it modeled yet.”

Alastor gave him a pointed, hopeful look that made Lucifer wonder if he hadn’t slipped into a coma somehow. Or a fever dream. While he had spent the last few weeks daydreaming over Alastor, he had never expected anything to really come from it. His whole cover story painted him as a married man, for fuck’s sake! 

If Alastor noticed any of the alarm on Lucifer’s blushing face, he was doing a great job at hiding it. Lucifer’s heart was in his ears as Alastor stepped into the dressing room, and felt his cock somehow getting harder underneath the silk robe when Alastor presented a small, black corset from behind his back.

“I thought this waspie might pair well with the suspender. If you’d allow me, I’d be more than happy to lace it up for you.”

It was a generous thought, but Lucifer was scrambling. How the fuck was he supposed to go about telling Alastor no without revealing the fact that he had a raging fucking hard-on under this robe?

“Um, that’s uh — ahem, a very kind offer but —”

Lucifer’s blush intensified as his floundering echoed in his mind in real time. He had felt so confident not even an hour ago. Now here he was, reduced to sputtering excuses to hide his erection like it was eighth grade Math class all over again.

“Oh, you don’t like it? That’s a shame, but I’m sure we could find something else.”

“No, no, it’s very nice. I’m just, uh —”

“If you’re nervous about it hurting, I can assure you that it’s actually quite comfortable. In fact, I’m wearing one myself.”

The statement made Lucifer’s brain short circuit, and the words were out of his mouth before he could stop them.

“I have an erection! I can’t take the robe off because I have an erection!”

A heavy silence fell over them, Lucifer’s shameful confession hanging heavy in the air. Oh god, if only he could disappear. Turn into mist and dissolve from sunlight, like early morning fog. 

“You… have one right now?” Alastor asked, as if not understanding.

Lucifer couldn’t even answer, merely nodding his head as he pinched his eyes shut in an effort to hide.

“From wearing the suspender?”

“Yes,” Lucifer huffed, wrapping his arms around himself. “I was looking at myself in the mirror and it just… happened. So, look, just… give me a couple minutes and I’ll change, buy the piece and get the fuck out of here, okay?”

More silence.

Looking back on his life, Lucifer had done some fairly embarrassing things. But this really took the cake. How did his morning get so royally fucked?

“I remember seeing you through the window, you know,” Alastor said, finally breaking the silence as he took another step forward. “You looked so lovely that day. You were glowing.”

Lucifer’s heart was thudding as Alastor tipped his chin up with his hand; a sheen of sweat breaking out over his skin.

“If that’s really the only reason, I’d love to see the waspie on you. But at the very least…,” Alastor’s hand left Lucifer’s chin to cup his face, voice dipping low as he continued, “I don’t think I can let you leave this room without seeing what you look like in that suspender.”

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

The morning had taken all sorts of turns, but this was almost too good to be true. Though at the moment, all Lucifer wanted to do was praise himself for his morning showers and bidet.

Alastor was on his knees behind him, having left a trail of kisses down Lucifer’s spine until he reached the floor. Lucifer had watched in the mirror as Alastor’s beautiful hands caressed him, the difference in their skin tones stark and beyond erotic. He’d choose Alastor’s gorgeous tan hands on him over the midnight suspender any day. He loved how large they were against his smaller frame, petting his waist and kneading the softness of his inner thighs. But Alastor’s talent was really shining now, massaging Lucifer’s cheeks with his hands while he fucked him with his tongue.

“Wha — fuck… What if someone comes into the store?” Lucifer asked, not sounding nearly as worried as he should be. In truth, the thought of someone walking in only added to Lucifer’s excitement.

“Hmm, that is quite the predicament, isn’t it? Guess I’d better hurry.” 

Instead, Alastor continued his languid pace, seeming to savor every inch of skin that happened to fall under his mouth. Lucifer shivered and brought a hand to his aching cock. He had only managed to caress himself once, the shaky moan that fell from his mouth tipping Alastor off. Alastor ripped his face away, the shock of which made Lucifer groan a little in pain; left to stand there with his desperate hole practically begging for mercy as it clenched reflexively in Alastor’s face.

But Alastor wasn’t paying attention to that.

“Touch yourself again and I’ll stop. I won’t have anything obstructing my view.”

They met eyes in the reflection of the mirror, and Lucifer knew that Alastor really meant it; his eyes had become pitch, pupils blown out and hungry. Alastor looked even better this way than he had imagined, and Lucifer’s dick wept at the sight; the yearning twitch left him feeling just shy of messy. He didn’t have much room for involuntary reactions in the confines of the lace, forcing his arousal to be flush against his lower stomach. But he’d comply. Happily.

“Fuck, Alastor, I promise,” Lucifer moaned, sounding desperate even to himself. “Please… I won’t touch.”

“I know you won’t,” Alastor agreed, giving his left cheek a playful bite that left goose flesh in its wake. “Put those naughty hands on the mirror where I can see them.”

Lucifer whined and did so with an embarrassing speed. With his hands just above his head, the angle gave his back an alluring arch, putting his ass on display even more than it already was. It also constricted Lucifer’s chest a little, his heaving breaths shallowing in a way that only intensified his arousal. 

“What a good listener you are,” Alastor praised, placing a kiss over the flesh he had just bitten. “I’d better reward you, hm?” 

Alastor stood then, smiling wickedly at the dumbstruck look on Lucifer’s face. Lucifer watched in the mirror as Alastor pulled something from his pocket, shaking it between his thumb and middle finger once his hand was raised to eye level. It took a moment for Lucifer to realize what it was in his lust-drunk haze, but he whined again and curled his fingers against the glass. Alastor purred in response and flicked open the bottle, making a show of spreading the lubricant on his right index finger.

He pressed himself against Lucifer’s back and leaned down, placing a chaste kiss at the nape of Lucifer’s neck. Alastor’s finger now rubbing a teasing circle around his entrance before finally pressing in. They both groaned, and Lucifer was honestly amazed he hadn’t climaxed then and there, it had been so long since someone had fingered him.

Alastor started slow, working his appendage in and out at a comfortable pace while Lucifer did his best to breathe enough. He was fighting a bit of tunnel vision, but couldn’t figure out if it was from the position he was in or just… Alastor. 

“You’re glowing again,” Alastor cooed, nipping at Lucifer’s shoulder before straightening to his full height. “How’d I get so lucky that a pretty thing like you walked into my shop?”

Lucifer cried as Alastor curled his finger, working over his most sensitive spot at his maddeningly easy and consistent pace. It was delicious but not enough, and soon Lucifer found himself pushing back against Alastor’s hand for more friction. That earned him a sultry growl from the younger man, Lucifer moaning long and loud when he heard the pop of the bottle cap opening again. The coolness of the lube dripping down the crack of his ass was startling, causing him to clench down on Alastor’s finger.

Alastor hissed but waited for Lucifer to relax again before adding a second finger. Lucifer cursed, the stretch burning him in a way that made his eyes roll to the back of his head. He was already starting to grind himself against Alastor’s hand again, a not-so-subtle plea for him to increase his speed, which he mercifully obliged. The lewd slapping of Alastor’s palm against the fat of Lucifer’s ass filling in the space between their heavy breathing.

“Ohh, fuck, Alastor… it’s so good. So good,” Lucifer panted, eyes closed and mouth open as he focused on chasing his pleasure. 

He was close. The tension in his belly was so tight and his cock was absolutely dripping wet. If Lucifer wasn’t so blissed out he would have spared a thought and prayer for the ruined lace of the pretty garment trapping him, but at present he really couldn’t care less. All he knew was that his sweaty palms had him suctioned to the mirror, keeping him in place while Alastor relentlessly worked him open with his elegant fingers. Stars burning behind his eyes every time they massaged over his prostate; now a near constant.

“Yeah? You like getting fucked by my fingers, little dove?”

Lucifer screamed, his orgasm crashing through him with unexpected force. He felt his cock spasm, hot ropes of his seed shooting up into the waistline of the suspender and dripping down his sweat-slicked skin. Alastor had wrapped an arm around him to hold him up, knowing that without the support he would have collapsed to his knees. He wanted to say thank you but his head was too empty, his tongue thick and dry in his mouth. Lucifer whined as Alastor slowly removed his fingers, his hole twitching from the sudden emptiness. But the consolation of Alastor’s soothing kisses on his neck and shoulder was more than enough to make up for the loss.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up in the back,” Alastor murmured sweetly. “I still have about half an hour before I need to open the store, so we don’t have to rush.”

“What are you talking about? The store is open,” Lucifer said, but it sounded petulant through the thickness of his post-coital delirium.  

Alastor chuckled and tightened his arms around Lucifer’s waist, pressing a long kiss to his temple. “Oh darling… I don’t open until eleven. Today was just an exception.”

✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧     ✧     ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧ ✧

banner by @synamartia ❤️‍🔥

tag list: @fairyv-ice, @wat4r, @midorichoco, @raynerrold, @krak-jj, @tremendoushearttaco, @redfoxwritesstuff, @chibistar45, @kaylopolis, @cutiebimbo, @lousypotatoes, @rfox1998, @cosmiccandydreamer, @hyperfixations-keep-me-going, @cherry-cola-100, @wonderlandangelsposts, @catticora, @velvette3, @sailorsmouth, @reath-solia, @junieshohoho, @cxrsedwxrlds, @littlebluefishtail, @nxcxllxsevens, @swagkittybear

[ms-demeanor]

sorry if you've answered this before, and i hope you don't mind me asking, how do you know so much about computers and what seems to me like everything in the world? how did you become so knowledgeable? it's amazing

i just know a little about a lot of things and I probably have a fair number of things that I've dug into more than most people and less than people who actually focus on that stuff! It's kind of an illusion!

I do know a lot about computers and that's because I've worked at a computer company for 12 years and have been deep into a computery subculture for about 20 years - I do genuinely know a lot about consumer computers. That I'll own and that's experience.

I know a fair amount about literature because I've got a degree in it!

I know a fair amount about journalism because I've got most of a degree in it and I worked with journalists for a long time!

I know a fair amount about nutrition because I've got most of a degree in it and because I've been focused on reading a lot about nutrition for more than a decade because of my own food issues!

But mostly I'm just someone who falls down rabbitholes and has a decent ability to recall what I find when I run down them.

Also I get curious about things and will just go. Experience them.

Like at some point i came across a site for people who own and use RealDolls and I got interested in learning more. The site required an application because they didn't want people just trolling so I applied and I ended up reading through the whole site and reading the magazines they sent out for years after because it was just interesting. The way these guys bought clothes or compared repair techniques and cleaning techniques, the way they constructed identities for their dolls - it was all interesting! So now I know about the proper way to store a RealDoll and how their skeletons are put together and the best way to prevent rips or clean inserts.

Now imagine that with everything.

I got interested in quack medicine so I ended up reading the entire back catalogs of quackwatch and science-based medicine.

I got interested in the history of aspartame as a scare-word and I ended up reading a couple of books, SEVERAL entire blogs with decades-long runs, purchasing a military magazine from the 90s, and submitting a FOIA request.

But, like. I don't own a RealDoll or work in that industry. I am not a medical professional. I am not a chemist who works with aspartame. So I get these weird little collections of information where I know what *seems* like a lot to someone who hasn't looked into it but I know a lot less than someone who has taken the time to actually dedicate themselves to that topic.

And sometimes it's a years-long dive and sometimes it's a months-long dive and sometimes it's a few hours of me digging online until I feel satisfied with what I've learned and I never come back to it, but I've got three more talking points than your average joe at a party would.

(Also though I've attended various colleges at various levels for ten-ish years now and I've taken probably more college-level classes on a lot of subjects than most people have because I've now spent several years just kind of kicking around at community colleges and deciding that a cartooning class sounds fun or that a mesoamerican art class fills certain transfer requirements or that I might as well brush up on spanish, french, and german. Access to low-cost college classes in california is a big part of this, and having the time and money to take classes while i'm working is something that I've been very lucky with)

I've also worked pretty much continuously since I was 18, sometimes holding multiple jobs at once, and I know a lot of interesting people who do a lot of interesting things and I ask them about their interesting experiences and if they offer me a chance to go do cool shit with them, like launch a high altitude balloon or blow up some dynamite that's about to expire or join a band, I do it!

I was also one of those kids who had no friends and spent too much time at the library so I'd do things like read through medical textbooks or pull a book of home chemical formulas out of the trash and read it or take it into my head that I was going to read all of Shakespeare before I got to high school so I was a really annoying twelve-year-old and that kind of thing never really let up.

I don't know! I don't think it's that unusual and I think most people do this kind of thing I just happen to have less focus than a lot of people and talk a lot more.

[diasslim]

PART ONE >HERE<

A/N: I hope this is good or decent

Warnings: Slight suggestive; bad english

2/2

..................................................................................

After going to the beauty salon and doing your nails – and Halie's with a nail polish for kids – you got back home, giggling like a fangirl, thinking about how Marshall will propose to you.

He wasn't home yet. Good. You bathed Halie, made her something to eat and got to the shower to clean your hair – with the right to take another peek at the ring.

You dressed yourself with a cute PJ you found in the depth of your closet, putting a hoodie on top so you could put the girl on her bed before Marshall arrives.

You giggled to yourself one more time, took another peek at the ring before laying down on the couch, waiting for him to come home. You almost ran like a dog whem the door opened. Jumping on his arms as he held you tightly, surprised by your antics you kissed him desperate, as if you wanted for him to pass out and the both of you fall on the floor.

"Wow... Did I forgot any important date because... wow..."

"No. I just wanted to greet my boyfriend. Is that wrong?"

"Only if Halie is awake."

You laughed as you pets his hair. You can tell that he is clearly lost on his own mind – or on your body.

"Heh... Well, thanks for the... presentation, babe."

Three days after your "gift" and no proposal. You are getting frustrated. How he didn't proposed to you? What is this romantic surprise he is planning that is taking so long?

You groan in annoyance as you almost hit a trash can because your minded is flooded by the damn ring and the want to be proposed. You open the door of the house and close it as you enter, dropping your purse on the counter of the kitchen as you walk to the living room. You raise an eyebrow, confused for not seeing Halie or Marshall. Neither on her bedroom. Or on the bathroom. Or on your bedroom.

You get a bit sad of not seeing them. You wanted to be the experiment of cheap doll makeup and get kissed and called "hot" even if you look like you came from a Drag Queen's nightmare. But, it's the first time in days you have to be all alone by yourself.

That means: no bras, the biggest Marshall's shirt you could find, horrendous food combination, and spanish TV Shows with a lot of drama and swearing.

"Get up and fight for your man, Carla!"

You yelled at the TV before hearing the door opening and changing the channel to a more kid appropriate. Halie was with the most big smile she could have on her face and Marshall was carrying some grocery bags on his arms and a big smile could also be seen on his face too.

You look at eachother before he makes a sarcastic comment about your current state.

"Looking hot, babe."

"Wish I could say the same thing about you."

He rolls his eyes and let the bags on the table as Halie runs to your arms, you lift the girl and walks to the bags.

"So, where have you two been?"

He looked at the girl who simply laughed and gave you a playful smile.

"It's me and daddy's secret!"

You fake a cry to tempt her to spill the tea but she refuses so you just sigh and take a peek at the grocery. You see some of your favorite sweets, snacks, and some flowers. Oh my-... Is this for the proposal!?

You passed the night without any sleep. You were anxious, nervous and excited. Oh, how you want to be known as his wife. To have this damn ring around your finger.

The ring. You remember. You get up in silence and goes to the closet opening it, you get the box and opens it. The smaller box wasn't there anymore. The proposal will be soon.

You put everything on it's place and lay down on the bed again, shoving your head agaisnt the pillow and letting out a muffled scream.

On the next morning you were awake by a pair of soft but heavy hands massaging your back under your pajama.

"Wake up, babe. It's already morning."

You groan in annoyance, you couldn't sleep last night and you don't remember why because the sunrises on your face are annoying away all your thoughts.

You sit on the bed and yawns, as soon as you turn to face Marshall he covers your eyes with a cloth, making you be blindfolded.

"The last time we tried that I punched your nose and I was sorry. But now I'm irritated and would like to punch your nose."

"First, I'm not blindfolding you for that. Second, you will get out of that state of annoyance as I let you see what I prepared for you."

He takes your hand on his and guides you the living room, where he asks for you to stay up without taking the cloth out of your face yet. After a minute he finally tells you to take the cloth off.

And you couldn't believe on the scene on display and on your idiot alzheimer ass. How could you forget he is planning to propose to you?

He was in one knee on the floor, holding out the small black box with a ring inside. The ring that would symbolize you are his wife.

The petals of your favorite flower were in the displayed on the floor around him in the shape of an heart. You could smell the scent of your favorite food coming from the kitchen – and a bit of his cologne was in the air also.

"I'm not, and I'ill never be, a romatic person. But when we started dating, Halie liked you, you matched me, I could see that you are meant for me. Even with my mistakes and flaws you still love and help me like no one did. So, (Y/N) (L/N), will you marry me?"

..................................................................................

[creedslove]

when i tell you i'm going feral over javi having breeding/praise kink, i mean it.

this man can go from a total slut to our sweet domestic husband who will bring you flowers everyday and ask for help with tying his tie.

every time he appears on my screen i'm literally screaming into the pillow and kicking my legs. because honestly? that man could fuckin step on me and i'd say thank you.

but having his last name? having his children and be their mother??

i live for that dream 😭✋

hope your day was better than mine's and you feel okay. you're my comfort person and if it weren't for your blog i would never found out about javi or dave york, thank you so much <3

Javier Peña x f!reader

A/N: I love you my beautiful bestie, you are my comfort person and I love you and sorry for taking so long 😘💘 I hope you're doing alright love 😘

• alrighty bestie, Javi is the definition of praise kink; that man will praise you at any given opportunity and he will enjoy everything single minute of it, because he lives for complimenting you as whole: your looks, your bodies, your laughter, your intelligence and of course, let's never forget about how he compliments your nails 🗣️

• he will always tell you you look pretty or mention you are wearing a beautiful color, he's gonna notice when you get a haircut, if you change your perfume and your lipstick usual colors (but let's cut him some slack here, the first thing he thinks of is that new color on your lips while you have his cock in your mouth hehe)

• and of course during sex Javier Peña is a fucking praiser™

• I mean it, he's gonna mix that with that filthy mouth of his, telling you the most explicit sinful things, at the same time he can be very sweet about you, always working on boosting your self confidence even if he doesn't really realize that

• and while doing so, of course he's gonna speak spanish too, knowing it drives you crazy

"just like that, mi amor, take all of it, all my cock in your beautiful mouth, tus labios tan bonitos..."

" you have such a delicious tight cunt, cariño, I love how you gush for me..."

"tu culo me vuelve loco, amor... Let my cock inside of it, I'll promise I'll go nice and slow"

• 🫢

• but he also likes receiving the praise; Javi suffers a lot from stress and those cruel thoughts about not being good enough or not doing a decent job, when it's time to lose himself into you and relax, he appreciates the way you remind him he's just as great

"you're amazing Javi, I'm proud of you, mi amor"

"your cock is so delicious, hermoso... Dejame cuidarte..."

• it will just melt your seemingly grumpy DIA boyfriend and he's gonna be all soft all for yourself

• also, I don't take any contrary opinions on this: Javier Peña is a family man and he just (wants) and needs a woman to make an honest man out of him; the moment he falls in love for real, he falls hard and there's no turning back, that man will love you for life

• and he's gonna change his mind about being a bachelor, he's gonna be a husband, and a great one at that matter, he's just gonna love being a husband, the fact he has a wife and that he won't have any other lonely nights, but instead, someone waiting for him at the end of the day, as he goes to his home instead of going just to a house

• he would such a proud husband, excited about wearing a wedding ring and such, everything in order to show how happy he is with marriage

• he's also the kind of husband to bring you flowers, chocolates, body lotions and any other small gifts here and there for no specific reason other than making you happy

• and not only that, he would always remember important dates, such as engagement and wedding anniversaries

• and of course, while being a loving husband, he would want to take the next step which consists of having a baby with you; it would probably start after seeing how beautiful you look with Murphy's kid in your arms, and just the general thought of having a whole family of his, would be enough to spark the idea

• and then the fun part begins: trying for a baby, which consists of you jumping on him at any opportunity

• and that man would finish inside of you every single time, hoping that time will be the charm and the baby Peña won't take very long ❤️

____

[astoryisaloveaffair]

Fix You - Chapter 16 - Genesis

Pairing: Frankie “Catfish” Morales x Fem!Reader

Fic Masterlist

Read on A03

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Chapter Summary: 🤷‍♀️

Word Count: 4K

Rating: Explicit

Chapter Warnings: cussing, graphic violence, mentions of sex. I'm not giving more warnings than that, sorry.

A/N: Hey all. First I want to say I'm sorry. I literally had no time or motivation to write this. I'm gonna be honest, this is a really tough chapter, and it was hard to get in this headspace. Suffering a recent heartbreak, things in this chapter are things I have thought also, and so it was really hard for me to voluntarily want to address that. I also started working in veterinary medicine, i do not have the spare time that I used to. We also recently adopted a puppy who we named Bucky! And if you read my earlier posts, you know that I was SA'd last January. All that to say, sorry I couldn't do this faster.

Also want to wish a happy birthday to @musings-of-a-rose, my beloved, my bestie, and my constant support. This is for you. Sorry it's not a happier chapter....

* If a character is speaking fully in Spanish, I will put “[ ]” around the dialogue. I speak pretty decent Spanish but not good enough for this

Suggested Songs: "Exile" Taylor Swift feat. Bon Iver, "I Love You" Billie Eilish, "Vampire" and "Logical" by Olivia Rodrigo, "The Night We Met" by Lord Huron and Phoebe Bridgers, "Genesis" by Grimes

You didn’t even flinch at the landing, which was rough, so that’s saying a lot. When the janky cargo door (which looked like at any time during the flight would be ripped right off) opens, you barely even lift your eyes from the floor. You felt heavy and hollow, somewhere suspended in between shock and just not giving a fuck anymore. The only thing you could still fell was the pinching in your heart. It was still broken.

At some point during the journey, the co-pilot had taken pity on you and untied your arms from behind your back and bound them in front of you instead. You hadn’t struggled. There was no point. Where would you go? Jump in the ocean? You weren’t that great of a swimmer and you loved sharks and everything but the open ocean is not where you are supposed to be.

You have no sense of space and time, so you have no actual clue where you are other than not the mainland. You’re dehydrated as fuck, groggy, your vision’s blurry and you’d figured out the sticky moisture on your face was your own blood. 

Because when you had suddenly blacked out it was because they’d hit you, and had absolutely no hesitation doing so. They did not care about you, they did not see you as a human being, they didn’t even bother strapping you into a seat so you had been sliding around the cargo bay the entire flight, bumping into everything. You were in deep danger, any hope that you would have some ransom protection had pretty much disintegrated. You had hoped that the boys wouldn’t come for you at first. Then you had hoped that they would, because if you’re ransom, even if at the very least you’d be alive until then, right? But “alive” doesn’t mean unharmed.

A shadow looms over you and it finally makes you look up, squinting to adjust your eyes to something so close, as well as the brightness of the sun. It feels like it takes you 10 whole minutes to process that you were being spoken to in English.

“Eh!” The man leaning over you snips, and when you simply blink in confusion and don’t answer, he slaps you lightly on both cheeks. You’re stunned enough to finally look at him, his oval face, beady eyes and unique sideburns seeming so familiar to you but quite frankly you wouldn’t trust yourself with recognizing even your dad at the moment, so you push that thought aside.

He kneels down in front of you. “You listen to me. We don’t want you. We want the money. This means if you don’t fucking piss me off, I might be nice and not kill you, you understand? Be a smart little girl, eh?.”

You nod, you probably should be feeling some sort of panic setting in but you don’t. Whatever. Who even cares anymore.

He takes your silence as submission. “Bueno.” He whispers, leaning down and grabbing you by the arm, lifting you until you are back on your feet. He tilts his head and steps to the side, revealing 5 additional men with AKs pointed straight at you. From behind, you feel the sharp tip of another poking your back, urging you forward and down the precarious ramp. The pilots.

You didn’t trust that they wouldn’t hurt you, but you knew you had no other choice. Trying to fight was asking for it, and once you step out of the hold and realize you were in the fucking jungle, there would be no sensical place to go even if you did get away.

You step out of the plane onto a rickety steel ramp that bounces as the footpad of your sandals touches it and shuffle slowly down it. You feel suffocated sandwiched between four men, your hands chafe where they are tied and you have been in the same positions for so long your whole body is sore. Every touch and movement hurt.

You stumble as the ramp ends but one of the men grabs your arm and yanks you so you don’t fall. It wasn’t kindness. It was a way to hurt you that he could get away with. The tiny dirt landing strip is almost canopied completely by the jungle trees, leaving large patches here and there where the plane flew through, not noticeable from far above. It looks like you’re walking to nothing, just a dirt road that ends right into the thick middle of the jungle, but you don’t stop at the edge. You push through.

It’s hot as shit and you felt sweat buildup in every crevice of your body, your thighs are rubbing raw from your asinine decision to wear short shorts to the fair, and you could feel a heat rash growing under your tits that you couldn’t even scratch because your hands are bound.

You walk for forever. You walk until the friction rash on your inner thighs turn to lesions. You haven't drank water in almost 48 hours and it feels like 150 degrees out, with full humidity. You’ve had to stop twice already to vomit from heat exhaustion and you still occasionally gag even though there’s nothing in your stomach to come up anymore. All the years that you did not appeal to insects are making up for it now, they’re all over you and you can’t walk 3 steps without one getting in your eye.  The jungle gets tighter and you can’t breathe because it’s pushing in on you almost as tight as the hands on your shoulders pushing you forward..

You start crying. At least, that is what you tell yourself as you whimper and sob as quietly as you can. You know you’re strong, but this is just beyond reason that any normal person could take. And when you think about how this is probably what life was all the time in Delta for the boys, you cry even harder because you feel guilty, that you have no right to complain.

Finally, after what feels like forever, the tightness of the jungle seems to loosen. More open. You notice some of the trees look more oddly arranged than others. As you get closer you realize they aren’t trees at all, but tents and dilapidated buildings built into the shadows of the trees.  The huge roots and overhanging canopy of the jungle transformed a bustling camp into what looks like a little village. At the entrance, a line of guards in jungle fatigues that were impossible to detect until you got right up to them. You hear someone speak above you, alerting you to a man up in the trees on a platform tucked between the branches. There was another in the tree on the opposite side. He calls to the man with the sideburns, saying something in Spanish you can’t interpret fast enough, but it’s jovial and they laugh, and it makes you feel like you’re going to go mentally insane. 

It’s like it’s not even serious to them. And it’s so serious to you.

You are pushed through the camp quickly, but not quick enough that you don’t see the insane amount of cocaine packages piled up in the makeshift buildings, sheds, and tents toward the back. Men were milling about checking them, moving them and glaring at you as you walked past.

You continue past the main camp, crossing over a bustling creek whose bridge was literally just planks of wood, but you noticed there were tire marks across them so you felt at least safe it could handle a car’s weight. Across the creek, an old stonework manor stood. You can tell at one time it must have been glorious, but the white stone-worked walls were dirty and crumbling in many places, the fountains out front had dried crusty palm fronds and dirt in them and looked like they hadn’t sprayed water since the 1980s.

It was still oddly beautiful. You thought about how this house came to be, what it might have looked like when it had been first built. A beautiful Caribbean sea mansion. A jungle that hadn’t closed in on it yet. Fountains spraying and colorful birds resting on the rooftops. But then you  realize that this place has probably always been used for what it is now. Someone like Carl Lehder probably lived here and ran an entire cartel within this very jungle. Maybe it was the same one, just run by someone else.

There was a shabbily made shack to the left of the manor with padlocks, piles of debris piled next to the door. You assume that’s where you would be taken, but you were instead led up the stairs to the manor proper. And as your eyes focus in on the ground while you were being guided to the mansion instead, you realize the heap of matter by the shack that you thought was some dying plantation was actually a crumpled human body. A boy looking not much older than 17, shot execution style in the head and left to rot.

Then smell hits you, your knees buckle and you vomit on the stonework stairs, a scream of shock and realization pierces the jungle, making the nearby tropical birds explode from the treetops. When the sicarios pick you up and carry you through the mansion door, you’re still screaming.

Eventually whoever was carrying you became fed up, and simply dropped you at the bottom of the stairs and dragged you up backwards by the armpits instead. You didn’t even feel the step edges hitting the small of your back all the way up, but you would later. 

You were tossed stricken and shivering on a disgusting, top-sheeted mattress on the floor in the corner of a room, your feet still bound together and your rope-bound hands looped through a radiator that was long enough only for you to lie down or shuffle over to a bucket for your business. Everything stank and you still had vomit on your chin so you curled up in a ball and slammed your eyes closed, hoping that in time the voices and smells and fear would give way to just simple numbness. You didn’t hear a female voice speaking to you for several seconds.

Your eyes snap open, skin pulled taut from dried unwiped tears,and you jolt upright to look in the direction of the voice. A woman who wasn’t even tied up was propped up against the adjoining wall, and as you take in her condition you could understand why they hadn’t even bothered. She wouldn’t have been able to run.

Her legs look..wrong, splaying at angles that shouldn’t be possible. They look like they could be broken, but you can’t tell for sure because she was wearing jeans that cover up most of her skin. The jeans were ripped in some places and stained with dark blood spots, the color turning brighter wherever her skin shows through the tears in the fabric. She’s missing several fingers on her left hand that had been burnt at the ends to cauterize, and her face was black and blue, swollen and smeared with more blood that seemed to be coming from her scalp somewhere. Her lips are pale and cracking and her eyes are glazed over and barely open. When she speaks, she already sounds like she is dead. 

She swallows and winces slightly in pain, then licks her cracked pale lips.“Is…my��her–my brother. Did you see him? Out there?” 

Your face scrunches in confusion, which actually hurts a little and you’re not sure from what specifically. Perhaps you look just as bad as the other girl. “Your–I—I don’t understand.”

She’s too exhausted to even be annoyed with you. “My brother. They took him from me days ago. They do not talk to me anymore. They don’t—need me anymore.” A single tear falls down her swollen cheek and you suddenly feel so much connection with this woman and how  incredibly fucking strong she is. Her eyes roll over to you, meeting yours for the first time. There are burst blood vessels in them. 

“I think that they killed him.”

Your lips part and you utter a shuddering breath as you connect the dots. There’s no point in sugar-coating it. You nod slowly. “I think so. But it’s not…recent.” You look away as her eyes slowly close, the additional tears she was holding back finally spilling over and cascading down her cheeks. 

“Bueno.” She says. “Then at least he is not suffering like me.” 

You both fall quiet and you look over her again. Her pants aren’t completely done up and her t shirt is ripped at the neckline, exposing a gashed shoulder. Almost like…

You start crying again, and you feel even worse about it this time because you have in front of you a woman who has been through much worse and is somehow NOT crying. You curl tighter into yourself to try and hide. 

But she simply asks. “Who are you?”

You swallow, raising your head up off your arms, quickly wiping the access tears off on your sleeve. It’s incredible how adrenaline and fear can sometimes make you the most clear-headed you’ve ever been. Your thoughts are swirling but you knew one thing for damn sure, if they didn’t know your name yet, you weren’t going to say it now. 

If I look forward I am lost. Focus on right now. Nothing else. It’s my best chance.

You know enough about trauma that compartmentalizing this moment is your best chance. You can’t think what will happen if you don’t escape, if you aren’t found, if they never come for you. You need to stay focused. You need to keep hope alive. You need to stay coherent, because if a chance pops up, you need to be able to think quickly.

“I’m no one.” You mumble. “Just happened to be dating the wrong person.”

She sniffs and looks away, but it’s muffled because her nose sounds congested. You don’t miss her tone though. “Mmmm. His new one then.”

You blink. “What?”

Her glazed over, discolored eyes snap back to yours. “Pope.” She spits. “Your man. Santia—”

“NO!” You cut her off with a shout, you know there is a guy who is in the area and you still don’t know how much these men do or do not know. “Don’t. Don’t give them names if they don’t already know it.”

“I don’t give a shit about Agent Garcia, or his friends, or anyone else, it’s their fault I am here and it’s their fault my brother is dead and..” She finally, finally starts to cry. “I told him I didn’t want to do it. They said they would let us go if we gave them what they wanted.”

“It was you.” You exhale with a shuddering breath. “They found us cause of you. You told them.” You shake your head, and for some reason you feel betrayed by this woman even though you’ve never met her.  “How could you?” 

“Because all I care about is my brother, do you understand?! I wish I’d never met him, Garcia, we would have just snuck away and no one would never seen us, but no, instead we listened to him and helped them steal from fucking Lorea, and now they found us and I knew they would, and YES, I gave them EVERYTHING because they said they’d let us go so long as they found you and–”

“Eh!” A voice trails in with a watchman you knew was hanging out somewhere in the hallway beyond. He slips through the doorway, a smaller man you were not expecting from that voice, and leans against the deteriorating door frame. He crosses his arms and his legs and it makes the handgun on his hip jut out prominently from his skinny hips. “No talking to each other.” His voice is silky and the words all slide together so it sounds like ‘no talkintoeeachother.’

You shrink back into the dirty wall behind you as your associate spits a bloody phlegm ball in the man’s direction. “FUCK you!” She snarls, a tirade of cuss words in Spanish flying from her lips. 

A loud pop almost bursts your eardrums and your heart and you exclaim in terror as your associate is shot point blank in the head, her back slumping against the wall and her head hitting with a bang, pieces of blood and brain tissue spraying over the back wall with pieces flying in your direction.  

The man remains completely motionless with his arms still raised before huffing a laugh to himself, putting the gun back on his hip, and looking at you with the such an unaffected gaze it leaves you feeling dizzy and you scream and scream and scream yourself hoarse, crumpling onto your mattress in a terrified heap, arms over your head, sobbing hysterically.

A gentle but firm palm wraps around your forearm, yanking you back up to a seated position. You look away, but the man’s other hand takes you gently by the jaw and makes you look at him. And just behind him, the woman slumped in a pool of blood and brain matter. You try to wriggle out of his grip but he tightens ever so slightly, and you can’t help but notice how different it is when Frankie would grab you like that versus this man. Frankie held you the same, sometimes harder, but you had trusted his domination and his care of you and because of that, it made it arousing. That same motion with this man has you more scared than you ever have been in your life. 

“Bebita.” He coos, thumb lightly caressing your jaw. He wipes at a small speck of blood you don’t know is even there. You can feel yourself shaking and breathing so fast you can see his half waxed back tousled locks that hang past his temples are blowing in its breeze. You can’t answer him. “Look at me.”

You do. His eyes are a dark, almost black chocolate brown, shape mismatched, a scruffy beard and goatee and thin lips. In another world you would find him devastatingly attractive and the fact that you do makes you feel absolutely violated and disgusted with yourself. 

“Do not cry.” He continues. “You have no reason to if you behave, si? You be good and you listen and I will keep you safe you understand? Well, at least for now.” He shifts closer to you, you can smell his breath. It smells like orange and cloves. “There are a lot of men here Bebita. I am sure you understand what this means, si? Answer me.”

“Yes.” A final fat tear spills from one of your eyes, and it stings as it mixes with your sweat and the raw skin around your eyes. 

He juts his head in the other woman’s direction. “This one, she fight the whole time. I like a easy job. Make my job easy, I make sure you always deal with me. Do not make me call in the other guys, they are not as nice. Understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” He releases your chin and you scoot back quickly as he saunters over to the other woman’s bloody body, grabs it by the arm, and casually drags her as dismissively as possible out the door and out of your sight, leaving a bloody trail behind.

At first you just sit there in a slump staring at the opposite wall,, you don’t know for how long. Probably hours. Maybe days. The man, whose name you figured out from when he spoke to someone else in the hall, is Angel. Sometimes he would sit up and watch you, as if figuring you out, your body and the way you shift and switch positions when you are uncomfortable, what it looked like when you were crying and trying to keep quiet and unnoticed. But most of the time he ignored you. Occasionally others would come into the room and either speak to him or approach you, but upon noticing Angel watching them they would hiss or spit a curse and slink off.

The room reminded you of those old houses from the 70s that had those drafty unfinished basements that were simply concrete floors, painted stucco or white brick. To the sicarios, it served as an overflow area, there was a rotting desk along the side wall with a metal folding chair and piles of scattered papers and random household tools on them. Against the opposite side wall was a pretty nice tv, considering, which was always playing soccer. Angel seemed to make that his home base, his lithe frame sprawled across a grandma-fabric sofa, head resting on one of the puffy arm rests. He binge-smoked cigarettes and his right hand was always stretched over his head resting against his forehead in the direction of to an end table with an massive overflowing porcelain ashtray on it. You didn’t used to mind the smell of cigarettes too much but now it makes you feel sick.

You’re ashamed of how little you actually think about your current situation and like the hopeless romantic idiot you are, mostly all you can think about is Frankie. The things he said–you knew he said mean things when he was mad, or things he didn’t mean, but isn’t there always some truth to things that are said in the heat of the moment? That was enough for you to silently spiral. You thought about every memory you had of him and how it could be viewed through the lens that Frankie just wanted to fuck you. Your self confidence was low enough it was believable, and your mind races through every instance of an older man being in a relationship with someone much younger and how of course it was predatory, and how could you not see it, that you didn’t have anything in common? It’s a tale as old as time. He just wanted to fuck you, he wanted to fuck you and dominate you, his dark desires seducing you into feeling so wanted you can’t believe you thought he loved you and didn’t see right through it. 

And his friends, well, they were all in on it weren’t they, because why would they want to hang out with someone like you either? Why would men such as that actually want to be friends with you when you have never experienced half of what they have.

Fuck him. Fuck him and his lying ass, he was a fucking loser addict and you’re pissed at yourself for even considering him. Like how lonely were you?? To choose an old man with a kid who served in an institution that represented everything you hated about this country? To be so easily blinded by pretty words and love bombs to immediately take your clothes off. Because how, if he actually loved you or even like you, could he possibly have lied about something so big?! Or bought you something nice with all that fucking drug money he stole. Not that you’d want it or expected it, but why wouldn’t you want to treat someone you love as much as he claimed to? 

How could he sit there and make up what happened to Tom like that, when you were being so coddling and trying to be a caring ear. And Benny…Pope...if they were your friends they should have told you, that’s what real friends do…

But they weren’t your friends. They were never your friends. 

And if you went the other way, and considered that it was all true, that he did love you, that they were all your friends, and that he lied to you and threw stones to hurt you and push you away, how was that any better? You couldn't even think about a future not being with him, but obviously he could. He could watch you cry and question him and not even look at you, completely ignore you, then not even think about you again. No texts, no calls. No “I’m sorry, please come back.” Silence. 

How could it be so easy for him? How can he just go about his life like you never happened? Why did you still care?

Why did you still want him? 

Why did you still love him so so much. Part of you wishes they’d get on with it and just kill you. At least then you wouldn’t have to feel this excruciating pain. You wouldn’t have to see him show up to rescue you because he has to, to have to see his fucking face and every line, crinkle, scar, the bald patch in his beard and the tousled little curls that pop out of his hat…only for him to save you and then leave again, or die and then you have the guilt of killing a man who no longer loved you.

Yea. You think you’d rather die.

You feel like you’re going to throw up again. You’d let him force his cock in your mouth as far as it could go, let him tie you up and fuck you hard enough to leave bruises you had thought of as a badge of honor. You’d let him cum on your face. You’d let him fucking cum inside you! He’d gaslit you so you actually wanted him to tie you up with zip ties—-

Your heart almost stops. You can picture how his face looked exactly when he said it.

Sometimes rope can give over time.

That’s why we always used zip ties.

You look down at your bound hands.

They’re bound with rope.

[a-memory-a-distant-echo]

it's time for the long-threatened post about how to get subtitles (including translated ones) for videos that don't have subtitles.

in my experience, the methods in this post can probably get you solidly 75% or more of the content of many videos (caveats inside). i've tested this on videos that are originally in chinese, english, french, german, hindi, japanese, korean, spanish, and honestly probably some languages that i'm forgetting. my experience is that it works adequately in all of them. not great, necessarily, but well enough that you can probably follow along.

this is a very long post because this is the overexplaining things website, and because i talk about several different ways to get the captions. this isn't actually difficult, though, or even especially time consuming—the worst of it is pushing a button and ignoring things for a while. actual hands-on work is probably five minutes tops, no matter how long the video is.

i've attempted to format this post understandably, and i hope it's useful to someone.

first up, some disclaimers.

this is just my experience with things, and your experience might be different. the tools used for (and available for) this kind of thing change all the time, and if you're reading this six months after i wrote it, your options might be different. this post is probably still a decent starting place.

background about my biases in this: i work in the creative industries. mostly i'm a fiction editor. i've also been a writer, a technical editor and writer, a transcriptionist, a copyeditor, and something i've seen called a 'translation facilitator' or 'rewrite editor', where something is translated fairly literally (by a person or a machine) and then a native speaker of the target language goes through and rewrites/restructures as needed to make the piece read more naturally in the target language. i've needed to get information out of business meetings that were conducted in a language i didn't speak, and have done a lot of work on things that were written in (or translated into) the writer's second or sixth language, but needed to be presented in natural english.

so to start, most importantly: machine translation is never going to be as good as a translation done by an actual human. human translators can reflect cultural context and nuanced meanings and the artistry of the work in a way that machines will never be able to emulate. that said, if machine translation is your only option, it's better than nothing. i also find it really useful for videos in languages where i have enough knowledge that i'm like, 75% sure that i'm mostly following, and just want something that i can glance at to confirm that.

creating subs like this relies heavily on voice-to-text, which—unfortunately—works a lot better in some situations than it does in others. you'll get the best, cleanest results from videos that have slow, clear speech in a 'neutral' accent, and only one person speaking at a time. (most scripted programs fall into this category, as do many vlogs and single-person interviews.) the results will get worse as voices speed up, overlap more, and vary in volume. that said, i've used this to get captions for cast concerts, reality shows, and variety shows, and the results are imperfect but solidly readable, especially if you have an idea of what's happening in the plot and/or can follow along even a little in the broadcast language.

this also works best when most of the video is in a single language, and you select that language first. the auto detect option sometimes works totally fine, but in my experience there's a nonzero chance that it'll at least occasionally start 'detecting' random other languages in correctly, or someone will say a few words in spanish or whatever, but the automatic detection engine will keep trying to translate from spanish for another three minutes, even tho everything's actually in korean. if there's any way to do so, select the primary language, even if it means that you miss a couple sentences that are in a different language.

two places where these techniques don't work, or don't work without a lot of manual effort on your part: translating words that appear on the screen (introductions, captions, little textual asides, etc), and music. if you're incredibly dedicated, you can do this and add it manually yourself, but honestly, i'm not usually this dedicated. getting captions for the words on the screen will involve either actually editing the video or adding manually translated content to the subs, which is annoying, and lyrics are...complicated. it's possible, and i'm happy to talk about it in another post if anyone is interested, but for the sake of this post, let's call it out of scope, ok? ok. bring up the lyrics on your phone and call it good enough.

places where these techniques are not great: names. it's bad with names. names are going to be mangled. resign yourself to it now. also, in languages that don't have strongly gendered speech, you're going to learn some real fun stuff about the way that the algorithms gender things. (spoiler: not actually fun.) bengali, chinese, and turkish are at least moderately well supported for voice-to-text, but you will get weird pronouns about it.

obligatory caveat about ai and voice-to-text functionality. as far as i'm aware, basically every voice-to-text function is ~ai powered~. i, a person who has spent twenty years working in the creative industries, have a lot of hate for generative ai, and i'm sure that many of you do, too. however, if voice-to-text (or machine translation software) that doesn't rely on it exists anymore, i'm not aware of it.

what we're doing here is the same as what douyin/tiktok/your phone's voice-to-text does, using the same sorts of technology. i mention this because if you look at the tools mentioned in this post, at least some of them will be like 'our great ai stuff lets you transcribe things accurately', and i want you to know why. chat gpt (etc) are basically glorified predictive text, right? so for questions, they're fucking useless, but for things like machine transcription and machine translation, those predictions make it more likely that you get the correct words for things that could have multiple translations, or for words that the software can only partially make out. it's what enables 'he has muscles' vs 'he has mussels', even though muscles and mussels are generally pronounced the same way. i am old enough to have used voice to text back when it was called dictation software, and must grudgingly admit that this is, in fact, much better.

ok! disclaimers over.

let's talk about getting videos

for the most part, this post will assume that you have a video file and nothing else. cobalt.tools is the easiest way i'm aware of to download videos from most sources, though there are other (more robust) options if you're happy to do it from the command line. i assume most people are not, and if you are, you probably don't need this guide anyhow.

i'm going to use 'youtube' as the default 'get a video from' place, but generally speaking, most of this works with basically any source that you can figure out how to download from—your bilibili downloads and torrents and whatever else will work the same way. i'm shorthanding things because this post is already so so long.

if the video you're using has any official (not autogenerated) subtitles that aren't burned in, grab that file, too, regardless of the language. starting from something that a human eye has looked over at some point is always going to give you better results. cobalt.tools doesn't pull subtitles, but plugging the video url into downsub or getsubs and then downloading the srt option is an easy way to get them for most places. (if you use downsub, it'll suggest that you download the full video with subtitles. that's a link to some other software, and i've never used it, so i'm not recommending it one way or the other. the srts are legit, tho.)

the subtitle downloaders also have auto translation options, and they're often (not always) no worse than anything else that we're going to do here—try them and see if they're good enough for your purposes. unfortunately, this only works for things that already have subtitles, which is…not that many things, honestly. so let's move on.

force-translating, lowest stress mode.

this first option is kind of a cheat, but who cares. youtube will auto-caption things in some languages (not you, chinese) assuming that the uploader has enabled it. as ever, the quality is kinda variable, and the likelihood that it's enabled at all seems to vary widely, but if it is, you're in for a much easier time of things, because you turn it on, select whatever language you want it translated to, and youtube…does its best, anyhow.

if you're a weird media hoarder like me and you want to download the autogenerated captions, the best tool that i've found for this is hyprscribr. plug in the video url, select 'download captions via caption grabber', then go to the .srt data tab, copy it out, and paste it into a text file. save this as [name of downloaded video].[language code].srt, and now you have captions! …that you need to translate, which is actually easy. if it's a short video, just grab the text, throw it in google translate (timestamps and all), and then paste the output into a new text file. so if you downloaded cooking.mp4, which is in french, you'll have three files: cooking.mp4, cooking.fr.srt, and cooking.en.srt. this one's done! it's easy! you're free!

but yeah, ok, most stuff isn't quite that easy, and auto-captioning has to be enabled, and it has some very obvious gaps in the langauges it supports. which is sort of weird, because my phone actually has pretty great multilingual support, even for things that youtube does not. which brings us to low-stress force translation option two.

use your phone

this seems a little obvious, but i've surprised several people with this information recently, so just in case. for this option, you don't even need to have downloaded the video—if it's a video you can play on your phone, the phone will almost definitely attempt real-time translation for you. i'm sure iphones have this ability, but i'm an android person, so can only provide directions for that: go into settings and search for (and enable) live translation. the phone will do its best to pick up what's being said and translate it on the fly for you, and if 'what's being said' is a random video on the internet, your phone isn't gonna ask questions. somewhat inexplicably, this works even if the video is muted. i do this a lot at like four a.m. when i'm too lazy to grab earbuds but don't want to wake up my wife.

this is the single least efficient way to force sub/translate things, in my opinion, but it's fast and easy, and really useful for those videos that are like a minute long and probably not that interesting, but like…what if it is, you know? sometimes i'll do this to decide if i'm going to bother more complicated ways of translating things.

similarly—and i feel silly even mentioning this, but that i didn't think of it for an embarrassingly long time—if you're watching something on a device with speakers, you can try just…opening the 'translate' app on your phone. they all accept voice input. like before, it'll translate whatever it picks up.

neither of these methods are especially useful for longer videos, and in my experience, the phone-translation option generally gives the least accurate translation, because in attempting to do things in real time, you lose some of the predicative ability that i was talking about earlier. (filling in the blank for 'he has [muscles/mussels]' is a lot harder if you don't know if the next sentence is about the gym or about dinner.)

one more lazy way

this is more work than the last few options, but often gives better results. with not much effort, you can feed a video playing on your computer directly into google translate. there's a youtube video by yosef k that explains it very quickly and clearly. this will probably give you better translation output than any of the on-the-fly phone things described above, but it won't give you something that you can use as actual subs—it just produces text output that you can read while you watch the video. again, though, really useful for things that you're not totally convinced you care about, or for things where there aren't a lot of visuals, or for stuff where you don't care about keeping your eyes glued to the screen.

but probably you want to watch stuff on the screen at the same time.

let's talk about capcut!

this is probably not a new one for most people, but using it like this is a little weird, so here we go. ahead of time: i'm doing this on an actual computer. i think you probably can do it on your phone, but i have no idea how, and honestly this is already a really long guide so i'm not going to figure it out right now. download capcut and put it on an actual computer. i'm sorry.

anyhow. open up capcut, click new project. import the file that you downloaded, and then drag it down to the editing area. go over to captions, auto captions, and select the spoken language. if you want bilingual captions, pick the language for that, as well, and the captions will be auto-translated into whatever the second language you choose is. (more notes on this later.)

if i remember right, this is the point at which you get told that you can't caption a video that's more than an hour long. however. you have video editing software, and it is open. split the video in two pieces and caption them separately. problem solved.

now the complicated part: saving these subs. (don't panic; it's not actually that complicated.) as everyone is probably aware, exporting captions is a premium feature, and i dunno about the rest of you, but i'm unemployed, so let's assume that's not gonna happen.

the good news is that since you've generated the captions, they're already saved to your computer, they're just kinda secret right now. there are a couple ways to dig them out, but the easiest i'm aware of is the biyaoyun srt generator. you'll have to select the draft file of your project, which is auto-saved once a minute or something. the website tells you where the file is saved by default on your computer. (i realised after writing this entire post that they also have a step-by-step tutorial on how to generate the subtitles, with pictures, so if you're feeling lost, you can check that out here.)

select the project file titled 'draft_content', then click generate. you want the file name to be the same as the video name, and again, i'd suggest srt format, because it seems to be more broadly compatible with media players. click 'save to local' and you now have a subtitle file!

translating your subtitles

you probably still need to translate the subtitles. there are plenty of auto-translation options out there. many of them are fee- or subscription-based, or allow a very limited number of characters, or are like 'we provide amazing free translations' and then in the fine print it says that they provide these translations through the magic of uhhhh google translate. so we're just going to skip to google translate, which has the bonus of being widely available and free.

for shorter video, or one that doesn't have a ton of spoken stuff, you can just copy/paste the contents of the .srt file into the translation software of your choice. the web version of google translate will do 5000 characters in one go, as will systran. that's the most generous allocation that i'm aware of, and will usually get you a couple minutes of video.

the timestamps eat up a ton of characters, though, so for anything longer than a couple minutes, it's easier to upload the whole thing, and google translate is the best for that, because it is, to my knowledge, the only service that allows you to do it. to upload the whole file, you need a .doc or .rtf file.

an .srt file is basically just a text file, so you can just open it in word (or gdocs or whatever), save it as a .doc, and then feed it through google translate. download the output, open it, and save it as an .srt.

you're done! you now have your video and a subtitle file in the language of your choice.

time for vibe, the last option in this post.

vibe is a transcription app (not a sex thing, even tho it sounds like one), and it will also auto-translate the transcribed words to english, if you want.

open vibe and select your file, then select the language. if you want it translated to english, hit advanced and toggle 'translate to english'. click translate and wait a while. after a few minutes (or longer, depending on how long the file is), you'll get the text. the save icon is a folder with a down arrow on it, and i understand why people are moving away from tiny floppy disks, but also: i hate it. anyhow, save the output, and now you have your subs file, which you can translate or edit or whatever, as desired.

vibe and capcom sometimes get very different results. vibe seems to be a little bit better at picking up overlapping speech, or speech when there are other noises happening; capcom seems to be better at getting all the worlds in a sentence. i feel like capcom maybe has a slightly better translation engine, of the two of them, but i usually end up just doing the translation separately. again, it can be worth trying both ways and seeing which gives better results.

special notes about dual/bilingual subs

first: i know that bilingual subs are controversial. if you think they're bad, you don't have to use them! just skip this section.

as with everything else, automatically generating gives mixed results. sometimes the translations are great, and sometimes they're not. i like having dual subs, but for stuff that Matters To Me, for whatever reason, i'll usually generate both just the original and a bilingual version, and then try some other translation methods on the original or parts thereof to see what works best.

not everything displays bilingual subs very well. plex and windows media player both work great, vlc and the default video handler on ubuntu only display whatever the first language is, etc. i'm guessing that if you want dual subbed stuff you already have a system for it.

i'll also point out that if you want dual subs and have gone a route other than capcom, you can create dual subs by pasting the translated version and the untranslated version into a single file. leave the timestamps as they are, delete the line numbers if there are any (sometimes they seem to cause problems when you have dual subs, and i haven't figured out why) and then literally just paste the whole sub file for the first language into a new file. then paste in the whole sub file for the second language. yes, as a single chunk, the whole thing, right under the first language's subs. save the file as [video name].[zh-en].srt (or whatever), and use it like any other sub file.

notes on translation, especially since we're talking about lengthy machine-translations of things.

i default to translation options that allow for translating in large chunks, mostly because i'm lazy. but since an .srt is, again, literally just a text file, they're easy to edit, and if you feel like some of the lines are weird or questionable or whatever, it's easy to change them if you can find a better translation.

so: some fast notes on machine translation options, because i don't know how much time most people spend thinking about this kind of stuff.

one sort of interesting thing to check out is the bing translator. it'll only do 1000 characters at once, but offers the rather interesting option of picking a level of formality. i can't always get it to work, mind, but it's useful especially for times when you're like 'this one line sounds weird'—sometimes the difference between what the translator feels is standard vs formal vs casual english will make a big difference.

very fast illustration of the difference in translations. the random video that i used to make sure i didn't miss any steps explaining things starts with '所以你第二季来'. here's how it got translated:

google: So you come to season 2

google's top alternative: So you come in the second season

bing's standard tone: So here you come for the second season

bing set to casual: So you're coming for the second season, huh?

reverso default guess: So you come in season two

reverso alternate guess: You'll be participating in season two

capcom: So you come in season two

yandex: So you come in the second season

systran: That's why you come in season two

deepl: That's why you're here in season two

vibe: So your second season is here

technically all conveying the same information, but the vibes are very different. sometimes one translator or another will give you a clearly superior translation, so if you feel like the results you're getting are kinda crap, try running a handful of lines through another option and see if it's better.

ok! this was an incredibly long post, and i've almost definitely explained something poorly. again, there are almost certainly better ways to do this, but these ways are free and mostly effective, and they work most of the time, and are better than nothing.

feel free to ask questions and i'll answer as best i can. (the answer to any questions about macs or iphones is 'i'm so sorry, i have no idea tho.' please do not ask those questions.)

[elletheactualmenace]

You Would do That for Me?

Pairing: MCU!Peter Parker x Stark!fem!reader

Summary: You hit two birds with one stone. Helping both you and Peter out in the process. Seems like a good plan, right?

Warnings: Verbal assault, Little but some physical assault, Catcalling, Bullying, annoying people just in general, swearing

Word Count: 5.04k

a/n: I tried to make this as enjoyable as I could, but some of this sucks, I tried really hard to get it to what I liked, but only some parts got there. Im hoping I’ll like the next part better. Sorry for the wait, but thanks for waiting! Also my Spanish is rusty lmk if it’s wrong.

Thoughts = “Italicized dialogue”

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5

High school. Not the most appealing place for anyone, especially not if you are the one having to attend. You don't think there has ever been one person, that doesn't come from some high school musical bullshit world, that enjoys going to high school.

You are top of your class, and you'd think that would make it easier but that's far from the truth, specifically when you go to a school where everyone is supposed to be top of the class, or they were from the schools they had formerly attended. Smart people don't like being topped. So it isn't really personal when you get cussed out or get verbally bullied. At least you don't take it personally, not enough for people other than the ones who do it to know about it.

Today is the start of another exhausting day of school. Before you open the door to your room you once over your outfit, and mentally prepare yourself for everything that is to come. You let out a puff of air and begrudgingly walk down the hall and into the big elevator at the end of the hall.

"At least I don't have to walk down stairs," you mentally thank your father for being lazy, as you push the 'floor level' button.

"Good morning Y/n." Friday says as you walk into the kitchen. 

You mumble out a 'morning' and walk over to the pantry. You pull out a box of Honey Nut Cheerios. Then you get a bowl and a spoon, placing them on the counter next to the box of cereal.

"Hey kiddo," You hear your dads voice from behind you. You smile, turning to see him leaning against the fridge with a carton of milk in one of his hands. You chuckle, and walk up to him giving him a hug. He kisses your head while hugging you 

with just as much love.

"Hi dad." You say as he hands you the milk. Your dad gives you a look as he watches you tiredly get your breakfast.

"What?" You struggle to speak with a spoon full of food in your mouth.

When he doesn't say anything you ask again. "Dad, what is it?"

"Nothing, you just eat exactly like me." He chuckles out. And you scrunch your brows.

"Well how the hell else would I eat?" You ask. He gives you a pointed look, "I'm not going to quote any ancient museum piece but watch your mouth young lady." You put your hands up in apology.

“But It’s not even that bad of a word. S’not like you don’t say it.” You grumble slightly before stuffing another spoonful of Cheerios into your mouth.

“Although, that does sound like some old man I know, maybe I will let him know that you are finally starting to listen.” You give him a toothy grin and he shakes his head frantically.

“Don’t, please. I don’t want him to know he's rubbing off on me.” Your dad rambles out grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. You chuckle.

You both talk a while longer as you eat your cereal. 

“How’s school? Any drama I need to know about?” You roll your eyes at him.

“No, sadly, unless you consider Peter losing one of Ned's lego pieces and not talking to him for a whole four hours,” Your dad chuckles.

“I would say that's a decent amount of drama for those two,” You dad comments, and you continue your pass time chatter.

"Oh, also, sweetie, Happy is driving you to school today," You dad says as you finish up your cereal.

"But,” you start, “dad, you said you would." Your disappointed look doesn't go unnoticed even though you try to not let it show.

"I know sweetie, but I can't today, I will try to find some time this week or next to drive you, okay honey? I'm sorry." He gives you a look of pity. And he really does want to drive you, he just can’t.

You can’t figure out why it bothers you so much. It’s just a ride to school. Maybe it’s because you barely ever see him. Maybe it’s because lately he has been more occupied with work than with his own daughter.

It bothers you that it bothers you. You shouldn’t be mad at him for working, for being a hero. You should get mad because you know it's not like he wants to blow you off.

"Yeah, um, ok," you put on a tight smile as you walk over to a counter stool that you backpack is sitting on, and sling it over one of your shoulders.

"Friday," Your dad calls out, and she immediately responds,

"Yes sir?"

"Call down Happy, and let him know, Y/n is ready to head out." Your dad finishes as he walks toward the hall leading to his office. He waves you a goodbye and you give a small smile in response.

Not even a couple minutes later Happy walks in, car keys in hand. "Come on kid, let get you to school," You nod and follow him outside.

The walk to the car is quiet. And Happy is not complaining with your ‘too tired to talk attitude’. He's not one for much unnecessary conversation. That's not to say he doesn't care for what you have to say, he just likes moments of quiet. Especially during the shitty morning.

"Hey, Happy?" You ask once he starts the car. He looks up at you through the rear view mirror letting you know he's listening.

"What did my dad have to get to?" You hear Happy sigh but don't say anything.

"Listen, your dad, he's a busy man, so it could really be anything." Happy informs you with a small sad smile, trying to make you feel better. You just nod looking down at your hands, so you don't have to look at another person trying to give you pity.

——

You slam your locker shut and turn to see Ned and Peter at their lockers that are a few away from yours. You nudge MJ and she closes her locker slightly to look at you.

"Yeah?" She asks and you nod towards the rest of your friend group. Mj doesn’t like that you called yourself that but she doesn’t have a better solution so she lets it slide.

"I'm going to go talk to them, meet up later?" You ask and she nods before bidding you goodbye.

"No, no, no, Peter, listen to me, I know it isn't a scam, because my cousins, best friends, little brother also ordered from the website and it came." Ned argues with who you are assuming is Peter.

"I don't think that's a credible source, dude. Have you even met your cousins, aunts, friends, brother?" Peter asks skeptically.

"It was my cousins, best friends, little brother." Ned grumbled out with an eye roll.

“The fact that you have to correct him just proves the point more.” You state bluntly entering the very stupid, conversation.

“See exactly!” Peter exclamins in your dereliction. Ned mumbles something out but you don’t quite catch it, Peter does though and his face goes pink and he hits Ned's arm.

“My, point proven,” Ned says quietly. And you brush it off assuming it's an inside joke. The bell rings and catches your attention. 

“Okay come on you five year olds, let's stop arguing about credible sources, and whose brother said what.” You put your hands on both of their backs and push them toward your shared first period classroom.

When you walk in and find your seat. MJ is already sitting, in the seat right next to yours. And behind you Peter and Ned sit down. When the final bell rings everyone is sat down and ready for a long boring lecture.

The teacher passes out assignments and you all finish the assignment pretty quick, so, per usual, you sit around talking, or more, arguing.

“We need to agree on something and stop arguing.” MJ says calmly. You are all arguing about the movie you’re all going to watch at your house on Friday night. When someone proposes a movie, someone else always doesn't like it.

“I'm sorry MJ, but I will not watch Titanic, I can’t.” You deadpan, arms crossed over one another.

“Oh, come on Y/n! It's not that bad!” Ned tries but you shake your head with a look of utter disgust.

“It is that bad, I physically can’t watch it. I know it’s iconic or whatever, but I won’t let that movie play at my house. It’s not going to happen.” You slam your fist on Peter and Neds shared desk.

“What about Shutter Island?” Peter suggests. Looking at you for approval and you shrug. “I'm good with that.” You say.

“What's with all the DiCaprio movies?” MJ asks. And Ned groans, running his hands down his face. “So that's a no?” Ned says more of a statement than a question.

“I never said no,” She tries but you put your hand out to stop her. “You didn’t have to, it's a no.” You say tiredly.

“We have zero chance at agreeing on a movie by Friday.” Peter says resting his face in his arms that are arms crossed across the table.

“You know what else it is at zero?” Flash asks as walking past us to get to his seat after turning in the assignment. 

Before you can tell him to piss off he continues. “Penis Parker’s girl game. You have Zero chance of ever getting any girl, even if they are the ugliest thing anyone has ever laid eyes on.” Flash’s friends snicker at his words and he laughs loud at his own joke.  As he walks past other kids in the class he gets fist bumps.

You look at him unamused. And when you see the sad embarrassed look on Peter's face you want to respond to Flash by cussing him out, but MJ gets to him before you do. 

“We get it Flash, you’re taking your insecurities out on Peter, because we all know your ‘girl game’ is peaking in high school.” MJ retorts glaring at Flash. She says girl game like it’s the stupidest terminology to use, because it is.

“His girl game is just going to keep getting better after we graduate from this high school shit hole” You add huffing out in annoyance.

Flash looks around trying to get people to stand up for him. But no one does. They all just look away or at whatever they were before.

“Whatever,” You see Flash shrink in his chair as he quietly speaks. You glance over at Peter, he gives you a small smile. 

“Thanks,” he whispers. You nod smiling at him.

The rest of class he’s quiet, and you can’t help thinking that this sort of thing happens a lot. You wish you could help him more, or that you could prevent it from happening. You sigh and stand when the bell rings, the subject still on your mind.

——

“I don’t know, MJ,” You start while unlocking your locker. “I like the idea of a horror movie, but I don’t know if the boys could take it.” She shrugs,

"Well we should just make them deal with it.” You hum in consideration, “I mean come on, think about how many times Ned has made us watch Star Wars?”

You nod in agreement. She does have a point. You can’t count on one hand how many times you’ve had to sit through one of the Star Wars movies.

“Alright, fine.” You huff out, “But you’re telling them.” You poke her shoulder with your finger when you say it.

“Deal,” She takes your hand into hers and shakes it. You chuckle, shaking back.

You and MJ start heading out the front doors of the building. You spot Ned and Peter, and wave to them. Ned waves and Peter smiles.

You and MJ part ways as she heads to the subway station, and you head over to a bodega to get some food while you wait for Happy.

You cross the street walking along the white strips of color on the paved road. You pull out your phone when you get to the other side of the cross walk, to see if Happy texted you yet. 

Happy:)

I’ll be there in ten.

Happy:)

Where do you want me to pick you up?

Y/n Stark

The bodega, want anything?

Happy:)

I'm good.

Y/n Stark

Cheetos it is! See you in a bit 🫡

You turn off your phone and put it in your pocket, stepping into the bodega. The man behind the counter's head shoots up when he hears the bell on the door ring.

“Hola, pequeño Sparky,” The man says. 

“Hola, Sr. López,” You grin and wave. When you first met, Sr. López, he told you that you look like Tony Stark's daughter. But he said spark not Stark, it stuck. You never correct him, and you never tell him you are actually Tony Stark's daughter, because you enjoy the name just as much as he does. 

“Can I get a bacon egg and cheese?” You ask and he smiles big.

“Ah of course, and cheetos for Sr. gruñón?” You nod and smile. “You know it, Sr. López”

You walk over to the shelf of chips and grab the bag of cheetos. When your order is done you pay and head outside, waving Sr. Lòpez goodbye.

“Que tenga una buena tarde, Sr. López.” You say stepping out of the bodega.

When you walk out you almost trip. You look down and notice your untied shoelace. You probably unintentionally stepped on it again. When you bend over to tie it you hear something. 

More like someone. Or multiple people. You hear someone whistle, and you stand and turn around abruptly.

And that’s when you see them. The three little pieces of shit that always bother you. They are always somehow there just when you don’t want them to be. Not that you ever did want them there. They are the weirdo dickheads who never leave you alone. Somehow they always pop up out of nowhere.

The blond short kid named Derek, whistles again. Logan the tallest one begins walking over to you. The other two follow. 

You quickly begin walking past them. And you get half a block before Otis the jet black haired guy grabs you by the arm and pulls you into a small alley. Derek and Logan gather around you whistling laughing. You struggle in Otis’s grip, you’re sure it will leave a big bruise.

“What the hell do you want?” You spit out and Logan tuts shaking his head. 

“Well look at you,” He breathes out as you get out of Otis’s tight hold. “How is a pretty thing like you still so available?” 

Derek chuckles and pushes your body against the brick alley wall with his hands. 

“I have no clue, but if you want to, baby, I'm open to anything” Derek growls out, and your face turns into disgust.

“Don’t make that face, it makes you look ugly.” Otis says with a scowl.

“I have to go.” You say quietly looking down to stop your shaky breathing.

“What was that hon’?” Logan asks, leaning his face close to yours. “Couldn’t quite hear you.” You know full well he can hear you, he's just being a dick.

You snap your head up with an angry expression, glaring daggers at the boys. “I have to go.” You state firmly. You watch as their faces turn into smiles, and they begin to laugh at you.

Then you hear a ding from your pocket. Surprisingly they let you grab your phone. You wonder why until Derek snatches the phone from your hands. You try to reach for it but Otis pushes you back against the wall.

“Give it to me,” You shout. They ignore you and look at the text. “Seems like she does have to go, boys,” Logan says, tossing your phone back with an annoyed look.

“It's a shame, I would have liked to tease you more.” Otis’s comment makes you mad. You look down at your lock screen to see a text from Happy.

Happy:) 

I'm here, where are you?

The boys move to make way for you. And as you walk past them you trip over Dereks, purposefully, outstretched foot. You stumble and don’t bother to look back, so you don’t have to see them cackling at you.

You quickly scurry out of the alley and towards Sr. López’s bodega. You see Happy in a black car across the street, he sees you and waves. Nodding back you cross the street.

You open the car door and slip in. You pull the Cheetos out from your bag and reach over the divider to hand them to him. He thanks you and pulls out from the parking spot.

“Where were you?” He asks, chewing on a cheeto. You shrug, rubbing your bruised arm. “Uhh, I was just walking around waiting for you.” Its a good enough lie to get him to drop the subject. The car ride from that point on is silent, uncharacteristic for you, but Happy doesn't comment as he continues driving and you eat your bacon egg and cheese.

——

You hate it.

Feeling helpless.

How could you not when you were raised by the Iron Man, and grew up around superheros, and just strong people. So, it makes your blood boil when you think about the way you let them treat you. You know how to speak up for others, but for some stupid reason your own brain is too scared to be able to defend you.

What makes you doubly angry when you walk into your house, is thinking about the way Flash and the other kids at your school treat Peter. “What makes them think they are so much better? They don’t even compare to Peter,” you think. Peter is smart and sweet and has the kindest soul of anyone you have ever come across, so it pisses you off how shitty people can be. If only you could fix both problems.

“What’s got you so grumpy?” Pepper asks as you walk past her to your room. Her voice breaks your train of thought. 

“Everything,” You grumble out. Pepper hums in understanding. Pepper, although she's not biologically you family, you consider her your mother. She's always there for you and she watched and helped you grow into the person you are.

“Anything I can help you with?”

“Not really. Unless you can magically make people stop being jerks.” She chuckles as your shoulders slouch.

“Well, when I'm dealing with Jerks, I tell them to stop or I’ll fire them. I usually try to hit two birds with one stone to get them out of my life faster. So fire the problem not just one person.” Pepper says, trying to help. You nod. And you catch the end of a conversation when your dad and Clint walk in.

“So, no, there will be no boyfriends or girlfriends for Y/n for a long time.” Clint chuckles at your dad.

Your brows scrunch before your head shoots up and your face breaks into a grin. Pepper who was watching you smiles, confused.

“You are a genius, dad!” You shout as you rush over to him to kiss him on the check. 

“I know,” Your dad looks surprised when he says it, but smiles anyway. 

“Thanks uncle Clint,” You hug Clint quickly and he tries to hug back but you pull away before he can.

Then you run back to your mom, wrapping her in a hug, before she can say anything, or pat you back, you run off.

“Thanks mom, got to go!” You yell back to her as you rush into your bedroom.

“What was that about?” Clint asks Pepper, and she shrugs.

“I say let’s be happy, she's happy.” Tony says as he continues to walk to his lab.

When you shut the door you throw your backpack on your bed. You begin pacing back and forth in thought.

“Peter needs a girlfriend. And I need someone who can keep those assholes away from me.” You drop the pacing for tapping your foot and rubbing your chin. Your face scrunches trying to think of a solution.

“It can’t possibly be this hard to come up with something… who’s a girl who’s single, and likes Peter, or can at least tolerate pretending to like him? Who’s someone who I can have, help me?”

Your tapping gets faster as your brain works harder. “How the hell can’t I think of anything? I’m the daughter of fucking Tony Stark for goodness sake. There has to be someone-“ You cut your thoughts off and your eyes go wide at your realization.

“No.” You think shaking You head. “That wouldn’t be acceptable. We’re friends not- not…that.”

“Oh shit.” You say aloud this time. “It’s the only solution that isn’t 100% insane.” You breath out a shaky sigh. “I have to ask Peter Parker to be my boyfriend.”

——

“This is 100% insane.” You think, gripping the pole in the rocking subway cart. “I know it’s insane, he’s gonna think it’s insane.”

You got Happy to let you head over to Peters to work on ‘a project’. You do have your homework with you, but you can’t focus on anything other than the crazy conclusion you have come to. So, no homework could get done without talking to Peter.

The subway cart is pretty full, because it just hit rush hour and there’s a woman who’s standing a little close to you. You step a couple inches towards the bar.

You keep going over what you are going to say to Peter in your head. You can’t come up with a coherent sentence that doesn’t sound like you are just flat out asking him out. Well you are doing that, “but- no- not in that way” You keep telling yourself. You just have to explain the situation to him, and he’ll understand. Right?

You also have to consider the fact that no one out of school can know about it. If your dad knew you were dating someone, you think he might just kill them. You heard what he said to Clint. But what he doesn't know can’t hurt him, at least while he doesn't know. You know what the consequences are if he finds out, but you are willing to do it, for you and for Peter. 

The train car pulls to a stop, and the doors open. You hear the automated voice ring through the train station as you set out of the train car. Piles of people rush in and out of the train. You dodge the hoards by swerving and slipping past them, out of habit. Living in New York, it's impulses to walk around slow people.

You climb the steps of the train station and out into the chilly air of Queens. You wrap your arms around your body, regretting the decision to ditch the jacket.

It takes a couple minutes to get to Peter and May's apartment, but once you travel up the elevator and your hand is inches from the door, all your previous courage drains from your body. You blink harshly to shake away the fear. Your heart is pounding and you can’t breathe properly. 

“Just do it already, what are you scared of? its Peter,” You know there is lots to be scared of but you won’t let your mind drift that way. 

You lift your hand to knock on the door, but it’s pulled open before you can make contact with the metal handle. You step back startled.

“Oh god, so sorry.” The woman in front of you says with a sigh. Your heart rate begins to slow when you hear her voice.

“No worries, Miss Parker.” You chuckle. She laughs out at your words.

“Oh please, I'm not that old Y/n, just call me May, like everyone else.” She smiles politely at you.

“I'm not everyone else.” You smile back. She shakes her head with a grin. “No you are not,”

“Well, I have to go pick something up from the store, help yourself,” she gestures inside, “Peters in his room, most likely building a lego set.” She pauses, “Or looking up ones he wants.”

You laugh and nod, waving goodbye and walking in. You take your shoes off and shut the door. You’re kind of glad May forgot to ask what you are doing here, that makes this easier at least.

You huff out looking out at the tiddy cozy apartment. You have always loved it here. It is so homey and welcoming, and it always makes you feel a little more at ease. And now is no exception.

You slip off your shoes and as you walk by the coach you put your bag down to rest.

“Peter?” You ask as you walk closer to Peter's ajar door. You see the back of his head turned down, looking at some papers on his desk. You can see the white wire of his head phones sticking out from under his chocolate brown hair.

You push the door slightly and slip through. You walk closer to him, trying to keep your heart from picking up its fast pace again. You call out to him again, and this time place a hand on his shoulder.

Peter jumps up out of his chair, trying to look intimidating in a fighting pose. But the intimidation doesn't last long because he slips on a sweatshirt on the ground and falls.

You erupt into a fit of laughter. Peters just looks startled, but when his brain finally acknowledges the situation, his eyes go wide in relief. When he gets up and you are still laughing, struggling to breathe, his cheeks go pink in embarrassment.

“It's not that funny,” he mumbles out. This only gets you laughing again. He tries to hide his smile by stuffing his face in his hands.

“Ok, ok, sorry.” You chuckle trying to slow your breathing and calm down.

“You just jumped so high and then slipped on nothing.” You say rubbing your face with a grin.

“It wasn’t nothing.” He says kicking the sweatshirt on the ground further away from him and then walks to the door.

“Mhh,” you hum in amusement following behind him.

“What are you doing here anyway?” He asks as he leads you to sit in the living room with him.

“Well,” You sigh, still a little breathless from laughing. You pause, try to create a coherent sentence that won’t make Peter run and hide. You sit in the meantime and Peter sits down next to you.

“I need to talk to you.” Your face gets more serious and it worries him. “Why? Did something happen?” He asks as his brows furrow in concern.

“No, no, no, nothing happened. Or, no. More like I want to stop something from happening again.” You realize the sentence makes the situation sound different then what it is.

“Did I do something?” Peter asks his brows furrowing further.

“No. No never. It’s just,” you trail off, and before you can pull yourself together to spit it out he cuts you off.

“Did someone else do something? Can I help?” Peter's head tilts and his lips form a frown listening attentively.

“No,” you stutter out. “Just listen to me for a second Pete.” He nods with a quick apology. Then his full attention is on you. His eyes unwavering staring into yours. Suddenly you can’t breathe, but you try to speak either way.

“You know how you get-“ you pause to rephrase. “How Flash is a dick towards you?” Peter nods slowly waiting for you to continue. You hadn’t told him about the guys bothering you, and want to keep it that way.

“And how, today he made fun of you for not having a girlfriend?” Peter nods, getting wary.

“Well, I mean-“ you stutter over your words “if you want, and feel, you know, comfortable or whatever,” you swallow the lump in your throat. He nods again, smiling softly to try and ease the tension in your shoulders and urging you on. You squeeze your eyes shut and blurt it out.

“I could pretend to be your girlfriend at school and stuff,”

When you peak an eye open, you see Peter's shoulders slumped and his eyes wide. In utter disbelief.

“Then no one would ever give you a hard time,” You quickly explain so your point doesn’t come across wrong.

You wait for Peter to say something. You wait for him to tell you no, or to say yes. You wait for him to say anything at all. But he’s radio silent.

Worry begins to creep up your spine. The pit in your stomach grows inch by inch every second he’s quiet. What if this is the wrong conclusion? What if you stepped too far? What have you done?

Fuck. You shouldn't have come. You shouldn’t have been stupid enough to think this was a good idea.

But out of nowhere, as if he just realizes that he’s the person you’re talking to, he speaks up.

“You would- do that for me?” He asks as his eyes grow soft and his eyebrows raise hopefully.

“Well, I mean, sure.” You nervously chuckle out. Rubbing the back of your neck with your palm.

“And anyways, you’d keep the creepy guys away from me.” You note as Peter seems to step back taking everything you’ve said in. What if he starts laughing? What if he is messing with you? He wouldn’t do that, right?

“I- I-“ you hold your breath as he begins talking, the pit in your stomach makes you feel like you might throw up. If he doesn’t hurry up you’re sure you’ll apologize profusely and run out of the apartment before he can say anything.

“I would love-“ Peter smiles “to be your boyfriend Y/n.” 

Oh.

You let out a shaky breath. It worked. You don’t believe it. He said yes.

“Really?” You ask, a small quizzical smile on your face.

“Yeah.” He says grinning wide. 

Well shit. It worked.

Tag List:

@riordanness

@princess-ofthe-pages

[relovaaa]

Took a break to eat dinner, here are my thoughts so far:

So far, a pretty decent book! I find the chapter names really funny and the callbacks to the original series are great as always.

I do agree with everyone else who is saying that it feels very OOC for Annabeth to want to throw a party in Hecate’s house. Even if Hecate saw it as respectful because of her whole Halloween obsession, I feel like she would definitely know better.

And of course there were the usual plot inconsistencies, with Percy mentioning that Leo helped him with Spanish when he’s supposed to be dead. Now, Rick forgetting some of his older lore is expected, it’s been nearly 20 years since TLT, but I feel like something as big as what happened with Leo shouldn’t be forgotten like that.

Also, the very little hope I had left for Annabeth as a character, as well as her relationship with Percy, is dwindling rapidly. I am going to keep pushing through for Grover and Percy and Grover and Percy alone.

I stopped at chapter 8 and I’ll keep reading shortly.

Also, Hana is 100% gay for Annabeth and I’ll take no criticism thus far.

[b00tyliciousbabe]

my baby daddies - ep. 1

my comeback era xx

arón piper x male reader

summary: inside edition the slutty thoughts i have for mr piper xx

notes: hi ppl, hope y’all missed me. i’m back, after like a year of hibernation, with another imagine! hope you guys are all doing well <3 i will be releasing 2 other series (‘the DILFs’ and a surprise one 🤭) so stay tuned! plus y’all better thank me, I lost this draft not once, but TWICEEEE! happy with this iteration though.

apologies in advance y’all this is gonna be chaotic…and my spanish is very rusty.

you met arón on the set of ‘elite’ because you were in between working with the hair and makeup team whilst designing the costumes. You had familiarised yourself with the entire crew and made loads of friends but from day 1 it was clear that your connection with him was unparalleled. the pinnacle of romantic chemistry. it’s giving one of those moments in the films when the two lovers have their meet cute, staring into each others eyes and the rest of the world is just in their peripheral because at that moment only two people exist - you and him. From then on, the whole crew shipped you guys together, with your work besties ester (who plays carla) and mina (who plays nadia) urging you to make out with him. He too was not exempt from this teasing, and a lot of his fellow male cast mates lowkey pressured him to ask you out. Whilst the premiere was coming up, you began sorting out the final designs for the next season, he ran into the studio wearing nothing but calvin briefs.

“Y/N, you’ve gotta help me.” He said desperately. You were taken aback. You’d never seen someone look so hot while they were needy.

“hey arón, what seems to be the problem?” He threw his hands up in the air in frustration. “can’t you see I’m practically naked?” You bit your lips taking in all of him “failing to see the issue here” which garnered a chuckle from him. “please y/n i’m so lost right now, i have no clue what to do” arón began panting which made you panic a lil bit. Placing your hands on his chest, you calmed his beating heartbeat “it’s okay, you know i’ve got you” Pulling one of your personal designs from the rack, you dressed him like he was your ken doll.

“i can do my own buttons you know,” he smiled watching you concentrate and manipulate the fabric to accentuate his features “i know but you wouldn’t be able to execute the vision i had for you in my mind” his eyes softened “you base your designs off me?” you looked up and met his gaze. “i’m not tryna give you a big head or anything, because it’s already quite elliptical, but kinda i guess.” he giggled as you watched his smile make his face look even cuter. “awww you got a lil crush on me,” aròn chuckled as you playfully beat his chest. “i mean, you’re handsome af I’ll give you that,” you felt his chest heaving with passion “why do you ask?” aròn held both your hands stopping you from working. “y/n,” you look up, all doe-eyed, surprised at the lack of distance between your lips. he breathed closer, opening the gates to your mouth as he graced you with a peck that lasted what felt like ages. the rest was history; that night he debuted the two of you as a couple to which was met with so much love.

you are at your gushiest whenever aròn smiles. it just makes you feel so happy seeing him so cute and all. stroking his cheek in the morning staring at him grinning in his sleep - probably dreaming of you.

the art of communication has always been strong in your relationship. your spanish-german bf was trilingual and meeting you pushed him to learn more on the side. your spanish was decent, certainly nothing to be proud but it improved drastically working on the show and being with aron. you were also highly proficient in two other languages and so he was adding to your roster. your relationship with him was a testament to the betterment of both people in a couple, you both pushed each other to try new things.

aron’s love language is definitely physical touch closely followed by gift giving, and so it made sense that he would buy you jewellery (even giving you his own) so he could both adore and adorn you. your favourite present he’s ever given you was the ‘A’ necklace he flaunts in a lot of his insta posts. he just loves seeing it around your neck - he’s yours. he even has an ‘A’ tattoo that now always reminds him of you.

even in the bedroom the necklace pays a huge role:

“my pretty little muñequita, fuck you feel so good.” he praised, railing you painstakingly slowly in missionary. you watched his eyes mirroring your overstimulated expression, as it darkened with his desire for more. you moved to his necklace which swung gracefully with every deep thrust. “ughhh” aròn’s moans got even loader you picked the pendant up and put it in between his teeth to muffle him. the sweat began to drip off his face as he began to imprint his teeth into the crystals, groaning in pleasure. “Nghhhh nghhh nghhh” it was getting too much for him as he dropped it, all red, hot, and bothered, directly into your mouth. You bit it seductively making your bf smile. other times when he’s hitting it from the back in prone bone, your hot bodies are cooled by the ice around his neck providing an amazing sensation when he spurts his warm cum inside you.

aròn is pretty decently hung, a bit on the skinnier side, nothing monstery, but deffo larger than average and it bends to the left. his favourite position is probably missionary; he wants to see the pleasure he’s giving you. the moans, your eyes, your lips, he wants to soak it all up and treasure every single expression you make whilst he’s inside you. you really like cowgirl as you’ve noticed it gets the most laughs and smiles from him, your biggest weakness. aròn loves it as well. the sight of you holding his pecs, bouncing up and down his pole as he grabs your ass sends him into overdrive. “shit mi amor, ughh, fuck, you sure know how to ride my dick.”

his kryptonite is oral. he’s such a whore for that mouth of yours. you guys waited for quite a while to have any nsfw activity because you wanted to establish a deep romantic connection first. so about 6 months into your relationship, you gave him head for the first time and OH MY GOSHHHH. you were coming back from date night, aròn wore an unbuttoned white dress shirt with chains and rings, all styled by you. it was raining and y’all decided to walk around the city and so tour chivalrous boyfriend offered his blazer to stop you from getting cold. you had never been more attracted to him. the way his wet hair laid messy on his head, abs protruded through his drenched shirt, it turned you on. so when you got into his apartment, you grabbed his hand and took him into the bedroom.

“despacio baby” he chuckled. you pushed him onto the bed, straddling and welcoming him with a kiss. you felt him grow beneath your ass, a sign for you to get on your knees. “y/n, wait what are you doing” aròn says as you began to unbuckle his pants. you didn’t hear, your brain too loud with horny thoughts to answer him. “cariño…” he held your hands at his belt. “are you sure you want to do this.” he asked worriedly, knowing how important sex was to you. “i’ve never been more sure of anything in my life” you mirrored his smirk, as he moved his hands, unbuttoning his shirt whilst you pulled his pants to his trousers. His tan cock stood strong, pink tip peaking through his freckled foreskin. he had a light brown bush leading up to his happy trail, urging you to lick down from his abs to his balls. “I’m so hard right now,” you started bobbing up and down and noticed how much of a panter he was. when he was close you started to deepthroat, to which he responded with a loud moan, yanking his dick out of your mouth and giving you the nastiest facial ever.

fucking loved it, as if he couldn’t love you more already…you were such a cockdrunk slut for him.

music plays a huge part of your relationship. when you guys are in the sheets, the symphony that comes from your bedroom is actually next level. oftentimes, aròn catches you humming and singing in the shower, to your embarrassment. “why are you hiding your face, your voice is incredible.” he praises. for his upcoming album, whilst in the studio, you came to check up on your bf bringing your freshly homemade brownies that you knew he loved. you knew aròn had been having a bit of a hard time completing one of the final tracks. as his team listened back to the record your bf was getting frustrated “ughhh it’s shit!” as he growled chucking song sheets across the room. “y/n you’ve got to speak to him, no one else is getting through to him and we are on a tight deadline” the executives who were present at the times warned. “he’ll be ready, i can assure you” you urged everyone else to leave the room. “aròn.” he didn’t answer. your tone softened, “papí…” you moved to him, noticing how tense he was getting. he looked up at you with teary eyes, hurting at how anxious he was getting. you knew what to do. “come on.” he followed u back into the recording booth. the track was playing, and all you did was talk, he spoke about his issues with fame, love, and life, and it was the perfect outro/interlude. you also added background vocals and harmonies into his tracks and the media went wild for it!

[silly-mars]

HELLO THERE!!

I'm Silly Mars! Or just Mars. I think it's finally to me to present myself!!

BASIC INFO!!

My name is Mars!

My pronouns are He/him ONLY (it's okay if you don't know my pronouns!! And you use they/them instead, but if you know please use my pronouns!!)

IM A MINOR. 16 to be exact. (Shocking i know, i even think to myself that i'm still in 2021). SO PLEASE!! don't be weird.

ENGLISH ISN'T MY FIRST LENGUAGE!! I'm spanish (hola tontos jaja) still! I will try my best for having a decent english!! And don't worry, i can understand English perfectly, the problem for me is talking it or writting it.

I like to use tone tags!! It makes it easier to me to understand stuff!! (Sometimes i'm a dummy. /Lh /hj)

TALKING TO ME AND STUFF!!

GUYS PLEASE! i'm super friendly!!/srs I LOVE when people send me messages for art or even talking!! Please never think that you're annoying or something!! I love having notifications of my moots!! If you want, i invite you to talk to me! For whatever reason, and i hope to be good mutuals or if it's the case good friends!!

My username on discord is "silly_mars." If you need to talk to me for something important!! Just wanting to chat with me and interact (guys, i don't bite.) or even for projects n stuff!!

THINGS I LIKE!!

THE LEGO MOVIE!!

I think it's kinda obvious THE LOVE i have for this movie!! I remember being in computer class and there was a piece called "resistence" and i was like "THE PIECE OF RESISTENCE!!"...and my friend was worried for me, but that's another story.

Team fortress 2!!

I KNOW, what a shock! I like things THAT AREN'T THE LEGO MOVIE!! Well yes! So don't be surprised if i upload something that isn't LEGO movie!! Anyways i love this videogame so much, Scout my wife and Spy my human pet.

REGRETEVATOR!!

Silly little Roblox Game!! My favorite gender.

I just love videogames or media that have a lot of silly characters, so that game is for me!! Also, im literally Mark./j

WARRIOR CATS!!

I don't consume the canon stuff like i used to, but the fandom still has a place in my heart!! Because THE ART IS SO GOOD and the fan stuff is way too good!! Also i love my baby longtail. He deserved better :(

COPPERNAUTS

The fact that these two are characters from the LEGO movie, but they have a special interest is so amazing to me. THE FACT that they only have 1-2 canon interaction and they're ALL OVER MY HEAD is so amazing to me...UGH anyways, i hope gay people were real/ref

ASTRONOMY

Not really a fandom BUT I LOVE SPACE!! I can literally say 100 fun facts about space, PLEASE./hj

AAAAAND more stuff!! I have a lot of interests idk anymore guys:(

DNI N STUFF!!

Just basic DNI, yk, if you're homophobic/transphobic don't try to be my friend or even mutual, this place is safe for LGBT community AND MYSELF.

Racist stuff, ableist stuff, just- any type of hate for a group of people isn't welcome here.

if you ship something weird don't expect me to follow you back or interact with you.

If i don't like something i just scroll away, or if it is more serious, i block it and scroll away again.

LINKS!!

Well! I have a pair of links to get me know better!!

Pronoun page!!

My card!! (I don't know how to make good cards, but here is it, so you can find all my social media more easy, lol)

OKAY!1!!1! THAT'S ALL

Uhhh that's everything i guess!! Still, if you have any questions my ask box and other social media are open!! I hope you like my blog, art and even fanfics or projects!! Have a good day!

[remapped-soul]

for the fic title thing i'm roughly translating part of an italian indie song

"where i'm from a kiss and a goodbye are the same thing"

in Italian: "da dove vengo io un bacio ed un addio sono la stessa cosa"

brocedes? rosquez? it's your pick, i'm in a angsty mood 😃

so. i know im half a year late. but. i hope this little ficlet i got for you will be worth it. all the angst and all that. i took the kiss part and ran away with it. inspiration suddenly arrived after ghosting me for months. also, this snippet is part of a bigger universe, set in the 5+1 au (the fabio fic on my ao3), sometime in the future.

Marc goes looking for Fabio, but he finds Valentino Rossi. Draped across the couch like he owns the place, Valentino looks up when Marc enters the motorhome as if he expected this all along. He merely blinks in Marc's direction before his focus shifts back to scrolling on his phone.

The door closes behind Marc with a soft sound. Fabio is nowhere in sight. Neither is Tom. No one enters Fabio's place without Tom's approval, but with Valentino here, Marc guesses Tom has been updated on the latest arrangements.

Marc stalls, unsure what to do. He planned this with Fabio a weekend ago. The time, the place. Did he forget? The idea sits wrong in the pit of his stomach. Marc could leave, try another time, but he has an interview in thirty minutes, a meeting with his team right after. Training and physio later in the evening. Beauty sleep at nine if he wants a decent race tomorrow.

Fabio wouldn't stand him up unless it was important.

Marc could leave. "Do you know where he is?" He asks instead, choosing English as his language, even if he speaks Italian as well. Neither here nor there, but meeting on neutral ground. They always yelled at each other in Italian. Valentino shrugs. "Do you know when he will be back?"

Valentino shrugs again. Doesn't even look up. Marc grits his teeth. He breathes in and remembers his agreement with Fabio, his love not finite, but so abundant he feels the need to share. At the end of the day, Fabio returns to him no matter what, but as Marc looks at Valentino, he is not so sure anymore.

Marc tries again. He always did. For Fabio he will always try. "Can you tell Fabio I looked for him? We had something planned. He…he knows why."

Valentino looks up at that, finally putting his phone away.

"I speak Spanish, you know?" He smiles, Spanish words rolling easily on his tongue. "I'm not sure when blondie will be back, but--" His eyes glint, and Marc bites his tongue to keep himself from snapping at Valentino. Valentino smiles like he knows this. "Can I help you with something?"

"It's fine," Marc replies in stilted English. He needs to get out of here. "I'll talk to him later." He needs to go before--

"I can help you with the arm."

Marc wants to scream.

"No, thank you." Marc had enough. He turns to leave before--

"Marc."

Before something happens. Something like this.

Marc freezes, ignores the stirring in his veins. Valentino hasn't called him by his name in so long. For fuck's sake.

"What?" Marc's Italian has always been harsher than his native tongue, than English. It's a blade sharpened to cut. He spins on his heels, feels his nostrils flare as he looks at Valentino, at the unreadable expression on his face. "What do you think you can do?"

Valentino gets up from the couch, hands raised slightly as if he is facing a rabid dog. Marc feels like one, heart pulsing on his ears, in the back of his throat. He searches Valentino's eyes and doesn't find hostility, nor mockery.

"Fabio has told me he massages your arm sometimes," Valentino continues in Spanish. "Whenever the weather changes. When it gets cold. Whenever you injure it." He doesn't mention the accident in Sachsenring.

"The Netherlands have always been cold."

Valentino sighs and stops a few feet away from Marc. "I'm trying," he says, still in Spanish. It grates on Marc's nerves. "We--"

"You don't need to do anything," Marc says. "I don't care what you do with Fabio as long as he's happy. Just leave me out of it." Marc pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to calm down. He doesn't want to yell. He did that enough when they still told each other i love you in Spanish. Now, they're strangers, and Marc wants to keep it that way. "It's not like you can change anything."

"For Fabio," Valentino continues as if he didn't hear Marc. "We should at least try for him. At some point we're all going to be in the same room. He deserves more than-"

Marc raises an eyebrow.

"This." He gestures between them. "More than us yelling at each other."

Marc raises the other eyebrow too.

"We won't be friends again, Rossi."

"We don't need to," Valentino says. "Just let me massage your arm. You have to race tomorrow."

Marc keeps close to the door as he watches Valentino, waiting. They both know the massage won't do jack shit for him. That's not why he asks Fabio to do it. But Valentino wants something and uses Fabio as an excuse. Marc can ignore everything but that. So he nods, smiles, and closes the distance between them, brushes against Valentino as he sits down on the couch and unzips his jacket, revealing his arm. Indulging, inviting. Holding his breath. Valentino follows.

Valentino's hands are cold on Marc's skin. He tenses his whole body, forbids himself to give even the smallest of tremors as Valentino's callused fingertips run down his biceps, pressing into the ridges slowly, as if Marc is made of glass. As if Valentino cares.

Marc scoffs. Side by side on the couch, he sees Valentino looking up from the corner of his eye. "You can press harder," Marc says. "I won't break. The scar tissue is dead anyway."

Valentino doesn't say anything. He keeps working the muscles, prodding and kneading the arm, breath warm against Marc's skin. If Fabio or Tom came, Marc doesn't know what his explanation is going to be. He mulls over words inside his mind, willing time to go faster, willing his heart to beat slower. Treacherous body, always acting erratically around Valentino. Marc focuses on keeping a steady hold on himself, so he doesn't notice when the air around him shifts, when the couch dips next to him. He snaps back to attention when Valentino presses his lips against Marc's scar, where healthy skin meets the dead tissue.

Marc's breath hitches.

"Vale--"

Valentino kisses down his arm. Slowly, reverence held in the corner of his mouth. He shifts closer, fingers closing around Marc's wrist, around Marc's thigh, caging him in, as if he is afraid Marc will spurt wings and take flight.

"Vale, what are you doing?" His voice breaks, a strange tune he doesn't recognise. Or one Marc chose to forget, reserved only for the nights when Valentino took him apart in the humid Spanish nights.

Valentino's mouth slips down his arm like silk, dry lips catching around Marc's scar, hot breath living goose flesh in its wake.

Marc shivers, leans towards the heat, head turning to see where Valentino is kissing his skin, so strange, so familiar. Valentino looks up at him through his eyelashes, the blue of his irises a whisper around his blown-out pupils. They breath in unison. Valentino leans back, reaches up, and Marc tilts his head down, thinking, thinking-- They haven't kissed since 2015. They haven't touched since 2016. Valentino caresses the edge of Marc's jaw, careful, careful. Marc pushes his cheek against his fingers, thinking, thinking-- is Valentino the same with Fabio? Careful, because he could break? Or rough, the way sometimes Marc is, pushing Fabio against walls, biting under his ear to get him to shiver, because that's how Fabio likes it, because Marc loves--

Marc wrenches himself away before Valentino can kiss him. He pushes himself to the other end of the couch, almost heaving, still looking at Valentino, at the flush on his face that probably matches Marc's own.

"Marc--"

"I'm done here," Marc says in English. "We're done." He leaves without looking back, door almost slamming behind him.

Marc announces he won't race after he leaves Assen early morning on Sunday, and doesn't see Fabio before that. Not in the morning, not the night before, after his duties are done. The only thing Marc gets from him is a text.

Valentino is here. I'm spending the night with him. Fabio doesn't ask for permission. Marc is not his keeper. He's just his boyfriend. So he texts back, Ok, take care. He doesn't text, I know. I almost kissed him. Marc puts his phone on silent and sleeps alone that night.

[1moreff-creator]

Danganronpa One Shot: Pre-Release Analysis

Let's gooo!

In case you're not aware, for the last sixteen days, there's been a countdown of sorts going on in venus-is-thinking's account, and I've been excitedly following it along! The big reveal happened today: a fangan called Danganronpa: One Shot, hosted in the account av-multifangan!

For now, we have little more than a title, an announcement post, an FAQ and an About Page. Which I hope don't have secrets in source code or anything because I don't know how to chekc that :p

But is that going to stop me from talking about it? Hell no! I'm going to follow this from the start, and that includes early theories based on literally two pictures and a countdown. Mainly character talents and the such. Let's get into it!

What we Have

As stated earlier, literally two images and a countdown.

So... yeah not a lot. However, I feel like the poster with the wheel could give us an idea of tone, at least. Seems on the more lighthearted side from first impression, even if a killing game will inevitably have some pretty sad moments to go along with it. At least that's the impression I get, could be wrong! There's a big theme of games of chance with all the imagery of wheels, money, poker chips... as well as weapons like guns, knives and nooses, as expected of a killing game. Particularly, we see American-looking $100 bills, which combined with the names of the characters, could suggest an American setting. But hey, it's a prediction post; if I get things wrong, I get things wrong!

The comment on the names is a nice segue for the reveal that the tags of the announcement post include the names of the characters!

Now, venus specifically claims the names are secret, but I actually have a guess of what each name refers to. I could be completely off, but I think the names might be listed in Countdown Order. So Sixteen is Vanessa Bravo, Fifteen is Jeff Breeze, etc. It fits decently well, makes some sense, and I have exactly two evidence points for it, which could very well be coincidences. So again, I might be completely wrong on this :v

There's also a surprising amount of last names which... are just words? "Love," "Breeze," "Bravo," "Hall," "Long," "Walker," "Young." Hell, "Rey" and "Torres" are words in Spanish ("king" and "towers" respectively). I assume it means nothing, but I do find it amusing.

But there's one name that's interesting to me above all others. "Mark Dros." Because it just so happens that "dros" is the acronym of Danganronpa: One Shot. Now, this could just be a coincidence, or even a very meta hint of a fake name/mastermind/something like that, but if it's not a coincidence, what I find likeliest is that Mark's last name is not revealed at the start of the series. Be it because Mark doesn't remember it, or because Mark's hiding it, or something else; if Mark's name is not initially revealed, then venus and accirax would be forced to tag Mark alongside the acronym of the fangan to differentiate this Mark from the countless other Marks out there.

Am I cooking? Am I burning down the kitchen? Who knows.

Anyways, let's actually get to so-called "character analysis." I'll refer to them by their number in the countdown (I'm not confident in the name guesses as you can see :p), which can be tied to the cards by color, and from the cards to the wheel via face recognition. It's going to be extremely embarrassing if I somehow get the wrong wheel sprite from the card drawing, so let's hope that doesn't happen!

I'll mostly go in Countdown Order for organization, though... it'd feel wrong not to start at the beginning, no?

Seven - Ace of Hearts [The Protagonist]

Pronouns: Any

Color: Hot Pink*

Countdown Symbol: Penny

Card Frame Symbol: Pennies

Wheel Color: N/A

More-or-less Confirmed Name: Ellis Ortiz

*(Note: These colors are taken from the ALT text of the countdown pictures. None of them use "plum" so they're acceptable in my eyes /ref :))

Those deep in the DROS lore (so, me and maybe two or three other people so far :p) know that Seven's countdown post was the only one accirax reblogged apart from 16 and 1, saying she did it for "no reason in particular." This is one of the things that made me think Seven could be the protagonist, which I was seemingly right about, but I could have never expected her to actually be played by accirax! This sort of roleplay format is really interesting, and I'm very curious to see how it plays out!

Well, I should point out that Seven isn't technically confirmed as the protagonist, but he may as well be. That means they're the only one with a confirmed name, as both the About post and the FAQ state accirax played Ellis. Ortiz comes from the tag. This is evidence point Nº1 for the names being in Countdown Order, as Ellis is listed seventh to last.

Apart from that, my previous guess of Seven being the Ultimate Lucky Student (based on the coins and the number seven being considered lucky) seems to hold up pretty well. The theme of chance and luck has only been made more prevalent with the announcement post, though it's to the point I almost wonder if Seven might be the Ultimate Game Show Contestant or something to that effect instead. However, since the About page claims some knowledge from THH is required, it's not unreasonable to assume this is a Hope's Peak class and thus needs a Lucky Student.

Plus, Ellis being Lucky would continue the age old tradition of Lucky Student protagonists: your Makoto Naegis (THH), your Yuki Maedas (DR Another), your Teruko Tawakis (DR Despair Time), etc. What this luck looks like is impossible to know so far, but since Seven seems like a relatively confident person at first glance, my best assumption is that he's aware of his good luck and uses it for their benefit. That's probably the guess I'm least confident about btw.

Seven's also connected to the Ace of Hearts, and looking at their glasses, yeah that makes sense :v The card is connected to new beginnings and love, which seems pretty in line for a protag.

Anyways, as a final note, I really love Seven's design and Vibe. Really fun looking protag, and since she's played by accirax, I would be foolish to expect anything but peak from them :D

Then again, the rest of the characters were written by venus, so I would be foolish to anything but peak from them either ;)

Alright, now we can start with-

Mascot

Pronouns: He/him

Color: N/A

Countdown Symbol: N/A

Card Frame Symbol: N/A

Wheel Color: Pink

Suspected Name: N/A (but probs Mono-something :p)

Right, this guy. Not included in the countdown, this little cameo in the announcement post is the only reference we have of this thing's existence. That means I genuinely have no guesses on what's going on with him.

I can't even know what I'm looking at, necessarily. It looks like a gem, maybe? I'm very curious to see this guy's full design, because I feel there's a lot being lost in translation to the wheel sprite :v

Alright, now we can start with Countdown Order. Jeez.

Sixteen - Queen of Clubs

Pronouns: She/her

Color: Lime Green

Countdown Symbol: Headphones

Card Frame Symbol: Headphones

Wheel Color: Pink

Suspected Name: Vanessa Bravo

Although headphones by themselves are a bit too vague for me to have made a guess from them alone back during countdown ages, the addition of a microphone in her card makes it seem that Sixteen is the Ultimate Singer! Or something to that effect, obviously exact wording is impossible for me to guess. In any case, I’m sure watching her perform would get anyone to say “bravo!”

… I’m very unfunny.

On top of that, while card symbolism is always pretty hard to pin down due to the large variety of possible interpretations, the queen of clubs' association with confidence and self-love seem in line with Sixteen's seemingly animated stage presence... I say, having exactly one picture of her. As always in these fangans, the persona of any performer will always come into question, so whether or not she's really as confident as she seems is yet to be seen. First impressions can be wrong, after all!

Anyways, I really like her design, her little hair accessory is everything :D

Fifteen - Jack of Hearts

Pronouns: He/they

Color: Teal

Countdown Symbol: Umbrella

Card Frame Symbol: Umbrellas

Wheel Color: Red

Suspected Name: Jeff Breeze

A cool looking guy to be sure, I... have no clue what Fifteen's talent may be. The towel they're holding makes me think the umbrellas are actually parasols, so maybe something like Ultimate Resort/Hotel Manager, Ultimate Tour Guide, Ultimate Vacationer, something to that effect?

Regardless, Fifteen looks like a relatively chill guy, which certainly fits the Jack of Hearts' connections to youthful love, passion, honesty and adventure. Seems like the sort of guy you'd really love to "shoot the breeze" with, huh?

... I gotta stop. These names are all gonna be wrong and this is gonna go from unfunny to straight up silly-

Fourteen - Queen of Spades

Pronouns: She/her

Color: Red

Countdown Symbol: Spade

Card Frame Symbol: Clubs, hearts, diamonds, spades

Wheel Color: Red

Suspected Name: Antonia Cisneros

Oh... oh she looks cool... and vaguely evil... Chat I fear I might have found a future favorite. Her smug little smile and and appealing design have enraptured me lol.

I particularly love the fact all four suits of the French deck are represented in her design; the club and spade accessories in her hair and belt (maybe?) respectively, the heart shaped dress, and the (I think) diamond earrings, she slays so much I worry she might "slay" a bit too literally if you catch my drift.

That aside, it seems my original guess of Ultimate Gambler or Poker Player or something to that effect remains solid, what with all the card imagery in her accessories and the cards she's holding. Especially notable given the series itself has quite a large theming around games of chance. Hell, all the characters are represented by cards in the French deck in the Header picture.

That could certainly imply a larger degree of importance for Fourteen than other characters. I expect her to be a common mastermind guess, but I personally think it'd be cool if she was the main killing game "antagonist," a la Byakuya. Of course, she doesn't have to be, but she's currently my best guess of who the "antag" might be, if there even is one at all.

This is especially so since the Queen of Spades can be associated with intelligence and logical judgement, which makes it seem like we might have a bit of a girlboss in our hands. As much as I'm excited to see all the characters, Fourteen is one that particularly intrigues me. Can't wait to meet her!

Thirteen - Queen of Hearts

Pronouns: She/her

Color: Gold

Countdown Symbol: Teacup

Card Frame Symbol: Laurel leaves, crown?, undetermined

Wheel Color: Pink

Suspected Name: Paris Hall

Speaking of girlbosses, Thirteen seems to be actively telling me to "spill the tea, sis" in her card, which is awesome. She looks like she'll be fun.

I originally didn't have much of a guess of what talent she might have, though Ultimate Tea Maker or something to that effect might still be the best guess. However, the combination of her color being gold, the crown-looking thing at the top right of her card, and the Laurus Nobilis leaves at the top make me consider she might be royalty? Ultimate Queen/Princess? Not impossible for sure. Though it would be pretty funny to call a monarch after the capital city of one of the most notoriously anti-monarchy countries in history, assuming I got the name right of course.

(...Should I mention that Cisneros, which could be Fourteen's last name, is the name of a historically important viceroy? Does this imply a thematic connection to Thirteen? I almost wanna look a bit deeper into it, but that's speculation on top of theories on top of speculation on top of theories, so I'll hold off for now)

In any case, I'm sure she'll be quite fun. The Queen of Hearts is associated with compassion and emotional intelligence, so I'm sure she'll be a good person to have around during the killing game! ... Provided we ignore the associations 13 has with bad luck :v

Twelve - King of Spades

Pronouns: He/any

Color: Dark Red

Countdown Symbol: X

Card Frame Symbol: X

Wheel Color: Red

Suspected Name: Aidan Ho

I didn't know what the X could represent on Countdown Day Twelve, and that hasn't changed just because we've added more Xs to the situation :v

Indeed, Twelve is one of the people for whom I have no guess of a talent. He's so weird that I don't even know what's happening with his hoodie??? Is Twelve wearing a half-blue, half-red thing??? What is this.

To be fair, though, the duality might be the point. The 12 in the countdown image was also split down the middle, although what this duality theming could imply is beyond me for now.

Very emo looking, though, I'm sure it'll be fun to see what his Deal is. The King of Spades holds similar meanings to the Queen of Spades, so I could see Twelve and Fourteen being a pair of sorts. Also potentially not, you know how this works.

Very mysterious dude... I'm excited to see where Twelve goes!

Eleven - Jack of Spades

Pronouns: They/them

Color: Orange

Countdown Symbol: Theater Masks

Card Frame Symbol: Theater Masks

Wheel Color: Orange

Suspected Name: Taylor Long

Really love the design of this Ultimate Actor (or something else theater-related)! They look pretty befuddled by that book, I wonder what they're reading?

I found conflicting reports on what the Jack of Spades symbolizes, but it's something along the lines of cleverness and hard work. Possibly a smart individual, then, and the fact they seem to be studying something in a killing game seems to corroborate the "hard working" thing. I'm interested in seeing them in action! It won't be "long" until we get to see how well that applies-

I gotta... I gotta stop.

Ten - King of Hearts

Pronouns: He/him (I really hope I'm not wrongly assigning the wheel things lol :v)

Color: Pink

Countdown Symbol: Rose

Card Frame Symbol: Roses

Wheel Color: Blue

Suspected Name: Davis Love

Ah, the classic trope of the "sopping wet cat guy," I suspect this one will be a big hit in the Tumblr crowd! Definitely connected to romantic love in some capacity, not just because I'm suspecting his last name is "Love," but more so because of the "they love me-they love me not" game he's playing in the Header image and the roses he's always accompanied by. Not to mention the King of Heart's connections to love and empathy and deep emotions.

Can't exactly tell what the pin he's wearing is, but it might be a rose too. Very Crystal Gem coded, this guy.

I wonder if "Ultimate Romantic" could be a valid talent, because that's the vibe he's giving me. Hey, I've seen weirder! If not, then I don't have many guesses of what he could be :p

Nine - Ace of Spades

Pronouns: They/them

Color: Purple

Countdown Symbol: Question mark

Card Frame Symbol: Question marks

Wheel Color: Orange

Suspected Name: Mark [Dros]

Ah, the classic Ultimate ???, huh? Well, maybe not, but that's my best guess for Nine! The mirror they're holding up could be a representation of them trying to remember their own identity, their talent... and possibly, their last name.

Indeed, the fact that "Mark Dros" happens to fall on Nine is my second evidence point for the name order I'm using. It's a theory built on top of a theory built on top of a guess, but it's what I have for now :v

In any case, I'm sure I'll love them. I'm always a sucker for mystery characters, be it in the form of weirdos like Okazaki Hanano (Tetro DR Pink), cryptids like Mai Akasaki (DR Despair Time), or as seems to be the case here, amnesiacs like Izanami Hoshimiya (DR (He)artless Deceit). And the mystery with this guy is exacerbated by the fact that the Ace of Spades has the most conflicting interpretations we've seen so far. It can represent power, authority, success, and good luck... or bad luck, defeat, and death. Quite literally impossible to tell what's going on, which is only fitting. Very intrigued by this one...

Eight - Queen of Diamonds

Pronouns: She/they

Color: Bright Blue

Countdown Symbol: Scalpel + Wizardry 8 reference

Card Frame Symbol: Scalpel

Wheel Color: Red

Suspected Name: Vivi Mitchell

Ah, my archnemesis.

The backstory here is that Eight's countdown image released after I had spent the entire day, from eight in the morning to five in the afternoon, in uni, and my brain was a bit fried from several hours of class and three hours of lab work. That's my excuse for fucking up not once, but twice with that image. Not only did I first think their symbol was a paintbrush (despite having checked ALT text for every day prior), I then proceeded to confuse the word "scalpel" for "chisel" and therefore assumed Eight would be a sculptor. You're allowed to laugh at me.

Anyways, third time's the charm, Eight is likely the Ultimate Surgeon/Doctor or something to that effect, and will most likely be our designated autopsy performer for at least the first few trials. They seem to be pretty upbeat from the one (1) image we have of them, so I'm sure they'll be fun to have around. The Queen of Diamonds seems to mostly represent wealth and power, which means... I don't know. Eight makes good money? :v

Also, still no idea what Wizardry 8 is, if anyone has any guesses on why that reference exists, please tell me pretty please?

Six - Ace of Diamonds

Pronouns: Any

Color: Brown

Countdown Symbol: Illuminati Symbol

Card Frame Symbol: Illuminati Symbols, but radiant

Wheel Color: Blue

Suspected Name: Kennedy Rey

It looks like Scott Smajor got a little too obsessed with Bill Cipher and turned into a Drew Flamboni kinnie. I wonder how many references it takes for no one but me to understand a sentence :v

In case the illuminati symbol wasn't enough, the red string she's holding, associated with insane cork boards filled with random connections, fully cements Six in my mind as the Ultimate Conspiracy Theorist, or something to that effect. Not sure what the rectangle in their shirt is meant to be, but I guess that'll have to wait for the actual release.

The Ace of Diamonds generally represents wealth and success, which makes me wonder how it could connect to Six. I guess... he might just be rich. Final note, while I'm still uncertain if I got the names right or not, if I am right, venus would be kinda crazy for calling the conspiracy theorist Kennedy, knowing the conspiracy theories surrounding JFK xD It would be iconic of her I think.

Five - Jack of Clubs

Pronouns: He/him

Color: Light Blue

Countdown Symbol: Page

Card Frame Symbol: None

Wheel Color: Orange

Suspected Name: Robert Smith

Now this one's interesting. While Five's countdown symbol of a page with a bent top right corner is etched into his design, being the pin he wears, he's the only character not to have any symbols on the frame of his card. I already had no good guesses for his talent before, just kinda throwing in Ultimate Writer or Ultimate Coder or equivalents as provisional guesses, but now they seem even less likely. Because the lack of symbols on the frame of his card could actually mean the page represents something different.

I think it's possible Five is meant to be a "blank slate," which could mean he has no talent at all. Of course, there's also the possibility that his average-ness is actually his talent, something like Ultimate Blank Slate or Ultimate Regular Person or Ultimate Guy. I'm probably way off, but who knows!

The Jack of Clubs has a few different meanings, but they're generally positive. Creativity, intelligence and sincerity seem to be the main themes. So I'm sure Five will be Perfectly Normal and have Nothing Wrong with him :)

Really curious to see this one!

Four - Jack of Diamonds

Pronouns: They/them

Color: Dark Green

Countdown Symbol: Gear

Card Frame Symbol: Gears

Wheel Color: Blue

Suspected Name: Grace Thomas

Another design I love at first sight, I really dig Four's vibe. They seem pretty straightforward so far; an Ultimate Mechanic or something to that effect (I am overusing that phrase so much), they give me the impression that they'll be a voice of reason within the killing game. The Jack of Diamonds seems to reference a "messenger" who helps people achieve financial goals, which extrapolated to the killing game, could imply Four will be some kind of important support. Probably will be helpful in trials, they seem smart. Entirely possible I might be off, but that kinda fits the vibe I'm getting from them.

Let's just hope the associations the number four has with death and misfortune aren't relevant...

Three - Ace of Clubs

Pronouns: She/they

Color: Light Gray

Countdown Symbol: Fountain Pen

Card Frame Symbol: Fountain Pen

Wheel Color: Blue

Suspected Name: Cass Torres

Another one that looks like they know what they're doing, Three seems to be some kind of Ultimate Writer or something to that- you know what the phrase is. The Ace of Clubs is connected to creativity, prosperity and good fortune, which certainly fits an Ultimate Writer. Bit ironic I don't have much else to write about Three, but what we have of her seems pretty straightforward so far. We'll see how much of that is wrong later!

Two - King of Clubs

Pronouns: He/him

Color: Orange**

Countdown Symbol: Omega (uppercase), 2 stylized as Lambda (uppercase)

Card Frame Symbol: Omega, Lambda, Phi, Psi, Theta, Sigma; all uppercase

Wheel Color: Pink

Suspected Name: Noah Walker

**(Yes, the ALT text for Two and Eleven describe their colors the exact same way. That's kinda funny)

If I had no idea what the hell the Greek letters were about in the countdown image, I have even less of an idea of what they mean here. Is Two the Ultimate Hellenic Scholar? As in, a scholar focused on studying Greece? Certainly kinda gives frat bro vibes. Surely, if he was the Ultimate Linguist or something, there'd be more than Greek letters, right? Why is he so confusing?

Anyways, he seems like a pretty positive person, but who knows. The King of Clubs represents leadership, intelligence and authority. I mean... sure? Maybe that applies to him? Yeah I have no idea. Two's a bit of an enigma for me :v We'll have to wait and see!

One - King of Diamonds

Pronouns: Ve/ver

Color: Dark Blue

Countdown Symbol: Heart in Hands

Card Frame Symbol: Heart in Hands, hearts, people holding hands, peace symbol

Wheel Color: Orange

Suspected Name: Harper Young

While I originally thought One might join ver apparent distant cousin Whit Young (DR Despair Time) as an Ultimate Matchmaker, the inclusion of the peace symbol in the card frame and One giving out sweets (kinda funny, given ver countdown image came out in Halloween) makes me think it's something more along the lines of... Ultimate Pacifist? Ultimate Activist? Ultimate Make-Other-People-Feel-Good-Person? Some vague title that refers to helping others with love and peace in ver heart, be it through volunteer work, activism, whatever. I'm thinking something along the lines of Tsuno Manami's Ultimate Superhero (Tetro DR Pink), if you catch my drift.

In any case, what I'm certain of is that One seems to be a very sweet and kind person! Even if the King of Diamonds, representing mostly material wealth and authority, seems like a weird fit for ver (btw if I use these pronouns wrong please tell me. I looked them up but I'm still not entirely confident I'm using them right :v). However, the King of Diamonds can also represent ethical success and bring positive energy to a reading (?), so it might not be completely off from what the rest of the information we have of One.

Finally, there's one variable I've been listing for these characters which I haven't really addressed yet, and that's the wheel color. Here are the full groups for each color:

N/A: Seven

Pink: Mascot, Sixteen, Thirteen, Two

Red: Fifteen, Fourteen, Twelve, Eight

Orange: Eleven, Nine, Five, One

Blue: Ten, Six, Four, Three

What could this mean? Well, uh... anything. Friend groups, shared themes, simple coincidence... I have no way of knowing what the connections could be, or if they're even relevant at all. I'm just noting them down for future reference :)

Anyways, that's all folks! Geez, how the hell did I write so much about a fangan that has practically no content so far? No wonder my other posts reach such ridiculous word lengths.

Hope you enjoyed! If you made it this far, you deserve a little treat! You can ask One, heard ve's passing them out. See you later!

[ofstoriesandstardust]

chapter 8 - renegade (b.r.b.)

a/n: chapter 7 flopped so here’s to hoping chapter 8 doesn’t as we near the end of this story

summary: Bradley is confronted with the aftermath of his decision and Sunshine gets unexpected advice from an even more unexpected father figure. 

main masterlist | top gun: maverick masterlist | flight risk masterlist | ch. 7 - discussions, decisions, and divorces (oh my!) | ch. 9 - i know it won’t work

folks who wanted to be tagged: @justanothermagicalsara​ @fangirl-316​ @herladyshipxx​ @parker-natasha​ @myhomeworksnotdone​ @pulisvertz​ @lass-that-is-gone​ @frenchtoastix​ @coco-loco-nut​ @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy​ @torresbarnes​ @supernaturaldawning​ @you-had-me-at-dead-welsh-kings​ @katiemcrae​ @gretagerwigsmuse​ @the-winter-marvel33​ @some-lovely-day​ @unordinare​ @hotch-meeeeeuppppp​ @annedub​ @hope-love-equality2​ @coyotesamachado​ @hopefulinlove​ @mak-32 @daisyhollyxox​ @loveforaugust​ @earth-to-lottie​ @sometimesanalice​ @cheezit-bradshawseresin​ @none-of-your-bullshit​ @jstarr86​ @caatheeriinee07​ @galacticstxrdust​ @anony1080 @sarcasm-n-insomnia @sammyrenae68​ @redbarn1995​

warnings: alcohol mentions, swearing, insecurities, semi-cliffhanger, it’s angsty, Sunshine needed her own heart to heart

word count: 1.9k

“are you really gonna talk about timing in times like these?/and let all your damage damage me?/and carry your baggage up my street?/and make me your future history?”

You groan, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes as you lean over on the metal bench. 

You must look ridiculous, you think to yourself.

Tucked away in a corner of San Diego State University’s massive campus, you felt like a fish out of water. 

You’d always wanted to come see the campus, especially with Bradley living in the immediate neighborhood, but had never been able to come up with a decent enough reason to actually visit. 

It was a pretty campus, old Spanish style buildings with the special tile roofs that always adorned the building style, flower bushes and trees shading the sunny campus. It reminded you a lot of the trip you and Bradley had taken to Balboa Park once for food trucks early on in your visit here and you could see why so many students flocked to this campus. 

Turns out, the campus was also good for giving you a place to cry in peace after fleeing from your fake-husband after he contested the divorce for your fake-marriage.  

You pull your hands away from your eyes, glancing at the time on your phone. You take a shaky breath, realizing that you can’t sit here and feel sorry for yourself for much longer, not if you want to make your flight and get the hell out of San Diego. 

Your head throbs from the morning spent crying as you stand up from the bench, navigating back the way you came as you walk in the direction of Bradley’s house. 

Your mind still feels fuzzy as you turn the corner on to Bradley’s street, no clear indication of what you should do. 

You’d never fought with Bradley, never once in the decade you’d known him. You didn’t know how to be angry with him, much less at odds with him. 

Because underneath it all, you were angry at yourself. Angry for getting attached, for failing in love with someone you knew you couldn’t have. 

Except- you could have him. He had tried-

No.

You stamp out the spark of hope alighting in you. 

Bradley Bradshaw had had more than a whole decade to confess how he felt about you and if it took a near-death experience for him to-

You pause, doing a double-take at the car in the driveway. You glance to the front door, teeth coming to worry at your bottom lip. 

With a sinking stomach, you tread the last few feet up to the front door, pushing it open slowly. 

It’s unlocked, you note, as you step through the entrance, walking the few feet into the living room. 

And there he stands, looking at the photo of Bradley at his graduation from UVA. 

The one you had taken all those years ago, when life didn’t seem so complicated, when you forced yourself to be content with friendship with Bradley because you were sure it was all that would ever be offered to you. 

He glances over at the sound of the front door closing as you stand there nervously, hands coming to clasp together in front of you. He offers you a warm smile, taking a step back back from the picture. 

“Admiral Kazansky, I uh- what are you doing here?” 

-

His locker slams shut in front of him, only pulling his fingers back with just enough time before they got crushed by the metal. He glances over at the brunette standing next to him, looking by all accounts, thoroughly pissed. 

“What the fuck Bradshaw?” She hisses. He glances up at his squadron, bewildered as they all look on with varying mixes of confusion. 

“What’d I do?” 

“What’d I do? He asks!” She throws her hands up in the air. “You know what you did Bradshaw!” 

He blinks, staring at her. “Nat, I’m lost.” 

She huffs. “You’re a moron.” 

He blinks again. “Can I be clued into why you’re insulting me or are you just going to keep yelling at me? I’ve kind of already had a shit morning Nat, so I’m not really in the mood for this. 

She narrows her eyes. “Yeah, I’ve heard.” 

“Lieutenant Trace, this isn’t your locker room.” They both turn, seeing Maverick’s figure. He jerks his head to the doors, to which she sighs. 

“This isn’t over yet Bradshaw, mark my words.” She whispers, before turning on her heel and heading for the doors. 

“Uh, Lieutenant Bradshaw-” Maverick pauses as he tugs the black shirt over his head. “Why are you here?” 

“Because this is my job?” 

Maverick sighs. “My office, please Lieutenant.” 

He huffs, stepping over the bench. The short walk to Maverick’s office is quiet and Maverick shuts the door behind him with a sigh. 

“Bradley, if- if you want to take some time for yourself, Cyclone and I- we would understand.” 

“I’m fine sir.” 

Maverick fixes him with a pointed look. “Cut the crap, Bradley. You signed divorce papers this morning. You’re allowed to not be okay right now.” 

He shrugs, eyes drifting up to one of the plaques on the wall. 

The plaque from the mission. 

“Bradley.” 

“I don’t know that I am, sir. Allowed to not be okay.” 

Maverick sighs, moving from where he’s standing behind his desk to in front of it, stepping right into his point of view. 

“Go home, kid. Take some time for yourself.” 

“Yeah, I don’t think Sunshine wants to see me right now. I’d probably be chased out of my own home.” 

A confused look crosses over Maverick’s face. “Why?” He shakes his head, pointing to the extra chairs in the office. “Here kid, sit down. Talk to me. What happened?” 

He sighs as he sits, leaning over to rest his forearms on his knees. “I did something so stupid, Mav. It cost me her.” 

“Kid, what did you do? Tell me what happened?” 

He sighs, reaching up to rub a hand over his face. “Last night, I tried- I tried to tell her that I loved her. She wouldn’t hear it, completely shut me down. Told me I was projecting my unresolved trauma and mid-life crisis on to her. And I just- I panicked. I just wanted to keep her.” 

Maverick reaches a hand out to rub his shoulder sympathetically. “So this morning?” 

He takes a shaky breath, lifting his head to face his godfather. “So this morning, I- I was gonna do it I swear.” His voice cracks on the last word, making him blow out a breath in a pitiful attempt to calm down. “But I- I just looked at her and realized I couldn't lose her.” He pauses, hot tears stinging at his eyes. 

“Mav, I contested the divorce.” 

-

“Maverick texted me. Told me what Bradley did.”

You sigh, crossing your arms. “Okay, so I’m still not following why you’re here. Sir.” 

Tom waves a hand, letting out a laugh. “Please, you aren’t a pilot. We aren’t on a Naval base. Brad married you, please don’t call me sir.” 

You nod, nerves still thrumming through you. “Okay.” You bite back the sir that’s threatened to follow just barely, earning an eyebrow raise from Tom. 

“I wanted to see how you were doing.” 

You shrug. “I’ve been better.” 

“Do you mind me asking what happened?” 

“Bradley’s a idiot. No offense.”

Tom lets out another little laugh. “He isn’t the brightest sometimes, yeah.” 

“He just- he doesn’t fucking listen.”

Tom hums. “He never really has been the best listener.” 

It’s silent for a moment as Tom takes a few steps closer to you and then he sighs. 

“You’re better than what Brad deserves, that’s for sure.” 

You cautiously raise your head from the hole it’s burning into the floor, frown forming on your face. “I don’t-”

He shakes his head, cutting you off. “You are. Not very many people would do what you’ve done for him.” 

You give a half-shrug, feeling your throat close up. “He was my friend.” 

“Was or is?” 

“I- I don’t know anymore.”  

Tom lets out a breath through his teeth. “Look kid, none of us will really blame you if you run as far away from him as possible. Lord knows he deserves it. But he’ll never find someone like you. You’re it for him. He just- he loves you so much. I’ve known it since the day I met you.” 

You swallow. “Thought you didn’t like me very much. Kind of failed at the whole first impression thing.” 

“His love for you is the only thing that ever made me take pause and wonder if I was wrong. You’re a great girl, but I mean it when I say that you’re better than what Brad deserves. I had my doubts, but never about you.” He sighs, resting one of his hands on your shoulder. “I saw how Brad iced out Maverick for a decade. I saw what he was like when he was volatile and vulnerable. I had my doubts that he would let someone like you see those sides of him and stick around. But I’ve also seen Brad at his most loving and he does love you, he really does. He just wants you to let him love you.” 

You give another half-shrug, eyes flickering away from the old man’s face. “I’m not good at this, you know? My parents hated each other. Hated me. I’ve only ever managed to date men who use me and treat me like the dirt beneath their feet and I just- I don’t know how to do all of this.” 

You take a step back from him as you shake your head, a tear slipping down your face. “You say that I’m better than what Bradley deserves but the truth is, he’s better than what I deserve. He’s so kind and funny and he’d do anything for his friends that I just-” 

You break down into tears once more.

“I’m not angry at him. I’m angry at myself for falling for him. I’m angry that allowed myself to put myself in this position when I knew it ended with me getting hurt.” 

“But it doesn’t have to end that way, with you getting hurt.” 

“How could it not?” 

-

“Bradshaw, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be at home, trying to fix things with your wife?”

He sighs, taking a long draw from his beer before swinging his head to greet his best friend. “Good to see you too Phoenix.” 

She sighs, shaking her head. “You’ve fucked up.” 

He fiddles with a peanut, attempting to break the shell open. It’s a difficult process, the shell unwilling to budge and finally he sighs, setting it down on the bartop. “Phoenix, what do you want me to say? I know I’ve fucked up. I’ve maybe lost her forever, but- I had to try.” 

She looks at him for a minute before sighing, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms. “Go home Rooster.” 

He shakes his head, eyes downcast on the wooden bartop. “She’s gone. Her flight left this afternoon. and I can’t- I can’t go back to that house, knowing it’s empty. I had her and I lost her.” 

-

The car idles in the driveway. 

He’s not sure what time it is, having lost track between when he left the Hard Deck and drove around aimlessly, avoiding going back to a home full of ghosts. 

But now, he’s even more anxious as his fingertips tap against the steering wheel. 

The porch light is on. 

The porch light shouldn’t be on, not if you left this afternoon like you were supposed. 

Why is the porch light on?

He’d almost be afraid to find out if it wasn’t for the hope suddenly coursing through him. 

Did- did you stay?

[ellescastleglow]

✨📚🌿My Dream Self 🌿📚✨

Well, let's see what I'm working for. I've always had an idea of who my dream self is, but never written it down in such detail. I don't think it's cheating that I'm solidly on my way to embodying a lot of these :)

Body + Health

they are on low dose testosterone and have had top surgery. they have also done voice training to keep their voice in a neutral range.

they no longer have chronic pain or fatigue, and they have found a way to live happily within the boundaries of what their genetic disabilities allow them to do.

they're physically fit and strong.

their skin is clear of acne, but there are signs of experience (scars, freckles, some wrinkles). their dark circles are gone.

Mind + Values

they are in love with their body.

they are free from their childhood trauma. all parts of them fully believe that they are safe.

their abusers have been exposed for what they did, but out of a refusal to ever be like them, my dream self doesn't take revenge and instead lets them suffer the natural consequences of everyone knowing.

they have recovered enough from burnout and have put up enough boundaries that they are once again able to engage in politics without it harming their mental health.

they have joined a local mutual aid group, serving the people of their community gives them joy.

they will never let anyone take advantage of them.

they value security and stability, and their actions reflect that.

they are kind to strangers, complimenting people on the street and offering to pay for people's food.

they know themself to be resilient, but live a life where that isn't the only option.

they have hope, not because they are naive, but because without it the world is a horrible place and they will be the change they want to see, g-ddamnit.

Habits + Lifestyle

they are high maintenance to be low maintenance; they get pedicures every month, eyebrow waxing every 3 weeks, and use tricks like dyeing their eyebrows and eyelashes to avoid wearing makeup.

hygiene is very important to them, and they make sure to have a shower at least once a day. they wash their hair twice a week and double cleanse their face, body, and hair every time.

they brush their teeth (and scrape their tongue) twice a day and have twice-weekly 'everything toothbrushings', which also includes oil pulling, water flossing with hydrogen peroxide, and a hydrogen peroxide rinse.

they have a simple but effective morning and night skincare routine. they remember to put on sunscreen, and have found one that doesn't feel icky.

they dedicate 30 minutes first thing in the morning and last thing at night to reading.

every evening, they cook meals for the family, and they're always delicious.

every tuesday, they take themself on a date.

every sunday, they plan the week out meticulously, mostly time blocking and meal planning.

once a month, they have a digital detox day.

their routines are so streamlined and easy that doing them is like second nature. they don't even have to think, they just do it.

Hobbies + Skills

they are physically active, and their favourite sports are fencing, badminton, and indoor rock climbing. they also enjoy pilates, yoga, and rowing and have tried horse riding.

they are c2 fluent in french and are proficient in auslan, hebrew, german, welsh, spanish, and mandarin. learning languages is a hobby for them.

they can mend their clothes beautifully and use embroidery techniques to make the mending visible. they know how to use both an electric and a treadle sewing machine and use them frequently to make historical fashion pieces.

learning is their number 1 passion. they love researching things relevant to their interests and remember everything they read. they study philosophy, history, and politics.

they can play guitar and piano decently well and do so regularly.

they play logic games like chess and sudoku.

Finances + Career

they are a speech pathologist working in private practice. their schedule is flexible and their work is rewarding. they specialise in AAC and get to spend lots of time making people's communication systems and advocating with their clients.

they are a published children's book author, and their series is a household name in their community. children at their temple come to them to give thoughts on the last book and ideas for the next. they work with cultural consultants so that each main character is properly represented.

they earn enough through work and investments to fund their lifestyle and save for retirement, at least $150,000 a year.

they have a high interest savings account with $10,000 in case of emergency.

they can afford to pay people for things that would otherwise take up time, like cleaning the house.

Environment + Material Things

they live in a townhouse in an inner suburb and co-own a holiday home in the south of france with a group of friends, which they go to once a year.

their garden is thriving and they have a grape trellis in their back garden.

their home is their sanctuary, it feels safe to be in and it's filled with beautiful things. there are fresh flowers on the table and pretty painted walls, and everything is clean.

their home includes a beautiful library with all kinds of books, but especially classics. their most precious books have been custom bound.

they have a private collection of antiques, from family heirlooms to bought pieces. some are kept in archival boxes, while others are restored and used for their intended purpose.

their fashion sense remains impeccable. they dress in their own style regardless of what's trendy and make many of their own clothes so everything can be exactly how they like it. they always overdress slightly, and have a good amount of eveningwear in addition to their day closet. their wardrobe matches their lifestyle.

they have a small but meaningful jewellery collection, filled with inherited and new classic pieces.

Community + Relationships

they are engaged in both their local and religious communities. they live in a world where there doesn't have to be conflict between the two.

they have friend groups of all different kinds, with people from different generations, backgrounds, identities, and abilities.

their closest friends also believe in relationship anarchy, and won't abandon them for a new romantic relationship.

they go to pub trivia with friends.

they have healed enough and have enough money to foster children, and though it's limited to one at a time, they consider them all their kids.

they love and take care of their cats more than words can say. their cats live a luxurious life and get lots of cuddles (if they want them).

[storyspinner91]

Twenty Fanfic Writer Questions

Tagged by @littleblackraincloudofcourse

Tagging @lowkeyed1 @evodevo-geekmonkey @dianels @bisexualshakespeare @spybrarian @blackdalek

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 

7 (3 are WiP)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 

186,452

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Willow! ...Technically other things too but really it's just Willow with playful skins.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Red Embers: dark alternate future AU, resistance fighters against the Wyrm's tyranny, grim & gritty

Like Constellations, a Million Years Away: sprawling mecha sci-fi AU set in the world of the Lancer tabletop roleplaying game. The Questies all pilot giant mechs; four books (2 done), one focused on each of Jade, Kit, Graydon, and Elora (in that order). Posthumanism, anticolonial to the extent a fanfic can be, utopian, dramatic.

Soft Blazing Crowns: Tanthamoretober one-shot. Modern AU. Elora helps Jade with a sexy photoshoot for a gift for Kit.

Full: (E-rated) Tanthamoretober one-shot. Modern AU. Straight-up smut drabble, 100 words on the dot. Extremely funny to me that this is in the top 5. :P

The Loving Hurt: Canon-set one-shot digging into the violence implied by the canon against the Bone Reavers, Scorpia's backstory, how Jade got her name. Dark, grim, not pleasant to write and in some ways probably not to read TBH. I was in A Mood!

5. Do you respond to comments?

Religiously! Sometimes it takes me a while, but I do.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? 

Hmmm. I mean I think it's gotta be The Loving Hurt. Like I said. Dark. Blame the show's writers, I do. :P

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? 

Gonna resist the temptation to say Full and instead say I think that it'll probably be Flawless Five vol. 1 when it's finished in a few weeks!

8. Do you get hate on fics? 

Not so far!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? 

The only thing I'd consider smut is Full. Otherwise, not anywhere that you can see. ;)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? 

No true crossovers, though Like Constellations is set (loosely) in the Lancer Universe.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so! They're too weird!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? 

No but I'd be so honored.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? 

Nope!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

I am a Tanthamore diehard, what can I say.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? 

If you'd asked me recently I'd probably have said "all of them." Fortunately I'm feeling a little better lately! I hope to finish all of the current ones; Constellations is a slow, weighty project, F5 I hope to have done very shortly, Embers...we'll figure that out after F5.

16. What are your writing strengths? 

I think I'm pretty good at dialogue, and I'm decent though not incredible at humor (especially character-based humor). I'm also a decent mimic - though this can feel a little clunky sometimes, I think I'm able to adjust my voice pretty easily to suit a situation, genre, or style. My unhinged and unpopular fic Excerpts from a new translation... is a pretty good example of that, lol. And on that note: I have a lot of fun with wacky metatextual stuff.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Taking the wacky meta stuff too far; not being bold enough in straying from the established character arcs/plots in canon; I don't think I'm great at writing really juicy interiority. Starting very large projects that will take forever to finish. ':)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? 

I'm comfortable enough in Spanish to write simple dialogue in that language. I've done one line in Latin (which I'm comfortable with since it's functionally a dead language) and made up some words in a conlang for Constellations. Wouldn't try anything via Google Translate though.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Willow! At least if we count conscious fanfiction. If we're going back to the Days of Yore probably Animorphs when I was a wee one.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? 

Difficult to pick...but Like Constellations is the baby, the one I'll finish come hell or high water (I hope). On the other hand, Flawless Five is probably the most fun (to write, and maybe to read if you like that sort of thing) and Red Embers is the one that in many ways I find most exciting. Like I said - hard to choose!