#also I had a cousin who did the same thing (she’s okay dw)
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
laughingoutcast · 5 days ago
Text
Edward: Bella I’m dangerous for you, I could kill you instan-
Bella: oh my god EDWARD. So can literally anything else. Jessica almost killed herself the other day because she mixed Clorox and Fabuloso together in her windowless bathroom. You’re not special.
110 notes · View notes
free-pool-trash · 4 years ago
Text
folklore - isaac lahey {2/?}
part two because i just couldn’t wait lmao! this chapter focuses a lot on the reader but there is some cute isaac moments in there too because i wanted there to be more to the story than just reader and isaac’s relationship <33 this part is kinda just setting stuff up tho so dw!
platonic derek x reader in this part :) and isaac ofc
please let me know what u think :)
word count: 4.4k 
warnings: swearing, mentions of blood, i think that’s it???? let me know if i misses anything <3
my taglist is still pretty wishy washy for this so i’m gonna tag the people who enjoyed part one, thanks for all the lovely feedback <3
Taglist: @makeusfreefromthisfandom, @cece-lives-here, @chocolate-raspberries​, @belsandthings​ let me know if you’d like to be added or removed <3
PART 1
PART 3
Tumblr media
Endless thoughts plagued your mind as you wandered through the crowded halls. It barely registered with you that Derek could be home and not bother to check in, although maybe it was for the best, you were pretty sure that he was still a wanted man- for a crime you were also sure he didn't commit. You knew Derek, despite the fact that you weren't related by blood you saw each other as family, you knew how he treated his family, it was what he treasured above all else and there was absolutely no way in hell that he had burned his whole family tree to ash.
He and his uncle Peter were the only Hale's left as far as you knew, however saying that Peter was "alive" seemed like a bit of a reach. The man who used to tell you stories and sneak you candy whenever he saw you was completely immobilized now, scarred to the point of being almost unrecognizable, he couldn't talk, he could barely move, he was even being fed through a tube.
Peter was a particularly close friend of your father's, he'd always made you refer to him as 'uncle Peter' and the man did the title justice treating you like one of his own. And while you called him Uncle Peter, he- and the rest of the Hale's- always called you something different; "The littlest of the pack" though you never understood why the family had such an obsession with being known as a pack, you were more than delighted to know that they considered you part of it.
When you were old enough you started volunteering at the hospital which held Peter and after six months of hard work, sweeping hallways and helping the overworked nurses they finally bumped you up to keeping patients company. Since you were still in school you were mostly at the hospital at night and on Sunday mornings, the same time as your favourite nurse, Melissa, who always assigned you to Peter when she was manning the same ward as you. To be honest it was rough seeing him in such a state, it was as though everyone you loved seemed to struggle- the thought alone always made you choke up, made you wish you had some kind of power to take it all away, to make everything better. But you didn't, so you simply read to him, told him about what was happening in the news, stories about what was happening at school as Peter was always one for a good scoop of gossip, you even confided in him about the sharp sting you felt in your chest whenever someone you cared about was in pain, himself included. The logical thing would've been to simply stop visiting him but if you did then he'd barely have any human interaction for the rest of his life and ignoring the fact that he couldn't show it, you knew deep down that he could hear you, felt that he appreciated your visits.
Without even realizing where your feet had been carrying you, too lost in thought to notice, you found yourself nearing Isaac's locker, the boy himself hunched by it, his face hidden by the blue metal door. It was easy to forget over the weekend and after hanging out alone how shy Isaac was, he was a completely different person around you, he was loud, granted he still wasn't as loud as you but he certainly knew how to find his voice, he stood straighter as opposed to how the tall boy stood in the school hallways. To you he stood out, in a perfectly beautiful way, you often chastised him for not giving himself enough credit, always asking if he'd ever even looked in a mirror. Even with your endless compliments that made him blush every time without fail, Isaac still chose to blend in, but you didn't blame him- you blamed his asshole of a father for making him believe he was anything less than wonderful. 
It was no secret that Isaac was taller than the average teen in Beacon Hills standing at six foot one, which meant he gave incredible hugs but it also meant he tried his very best to fold into himself in larger crowds and he regularly walked with his head down as to not draw attention to himself, even standing at his locker he bowed his head.
Shaking off your thoughts you walked up to your best friends side, tugging his sleeve softly to alert him of your presence before wrapping your arms around him, enveloping him in a side hug and allowing your head to rest against his arm while he wriggled it out of your grasp to wrap around your waist more comfortably, not paying his burning cheeks and racing heart any mind as he shifted his gaze from organizing his books to the girl clinging to him with a pout on her face, "What's up, buttercup?"
Nuzzling your head further into his side you let out a dramatic sigh, "I heard from Scott that Derek is back in Beacon." Isaac felt his eyebrow raising at the mention of both names, Scott's because you seemed to be hearing a lot of things from him in the last couple of days and at Derek's because he was pretty sure you hadn't seen him in years.
"How would McCall know if Derek's in town? Isn't he pretty much your cousin?" Isaac asked, thumb moving soothingly against your hip as you melted into him, shoulders slumping sadly and your pout only becoming more prominent. His voice sounded slightly aggravated at the mention of Scott but you thought nothing of it, thankfully. Isaac didn't want this to turn into a conversation about his petty jealousy.
"Forget cousin he was more like my big brother. That's what's got me so twisted! Why would he come home and not even bother to check in?" You murmured grumpily against the fabric of the flannel Isaac was sporting instead of his usual cardigan, which reminded you that he couldn't have worn his usual cardigan because you'd forgotten to give it back to him the night before and sported it yourself. The comfy grey material hugging your shoulders as you hugged the boy that the item of clothing actually belonged to.
"When did McCall say he saw him?" Isaac inquired, sorting his books with one hand.
"Yesterday." 
"Alright well that wasn't too long ago maybe he's planning on checking in today?" He suggested, finishing up at his locker and throwing his bag over his shoulder, dropping his hand from your hip and sliding it into yours, interlocking your fingers and giving you a comforting squeeze before he began leading you towards the school's double doors, the last class of the day having already ended.
Letting out another sigh you only nodded, swinging your interlocked hands between you as you walked towards the exit.
"I promised my dad I'd finish a plot at the cemetery so he'd let me come over tonight so I'm gonna be a little bit late." Isaac broke the silence, looking at you with an expression that was mixed with disappointment and exhaustion, "That's okay." You offered, squeezing his hand as he'd done yours earlier.
"Do you want a ride home?" You asked him, nodding your head toward your beat up, second hand car that the pair of you had already made several memories in since you got it almost a year ago for your sixteenth birthday.
The brown haired boy only shook his head, giving you a soft smile and nodding towards the bike racks, "Nah, I brought my bike today."
Nodding in understanding, you leaned up and pecked his cheek while you let go of his hand, "Alright. Since you're gonna be late I'll pick up the movie for tonight myself. You just meet me at my place whenever you're ready, Kay?" 
"Yes, ma'am." Letting out a soft laugh he watched you walk to your car, already missing your warmth beside him.
*
The first thing you noticed upon pulling into your driveway was the slick black car that was parked beside your mother's blue one, in your usual spot. The car was new and you didn't recognize it, you quirked an eyebrow, putting your car in park behind your mother's, grabbed your school bag from the passenger seat and got out with a slam of the door.
As you entered the house you were met with the sound of voices floating from the kitchen, picking up on the hushed conversation as you made your way towards the three voices, "You need to tell her." One said, a man. "It's too soon." Another sounded, you recognized the voice to belong to your father. "No, he's right, if what he says is true she's going to get caught up in it either way. Especially now the Argent's are in town." That was your mother. Your eyebrows furrowed, you could only assume that the 'she' they were talking about was you but what you didn't understand was what exactly they were debating telling you and why it had anything to do with the Argent's, were they talking about the Allison girl who had just joined your class?
You pushed open the kitchen door, eyebrows knitted tightly together, your brain taking a second to catch up with who your eyes were seeing, "Derek."
The name left your lips in barely a whisper when your eyes landed on the dark haired man leaning against your kitchen counter with a small smile playing on his lips as he greeted you, "Hey, kid." 
Without wasting anymore time you launched yourself forward, arms wrapping around Derek's middle as he let out a sigh, his own arms moving around you slowly to reciprocate your action with a tight squeeze. 
"I missed you!" You exclaimed punching the older man in the shoulder once you detached from the hug, expression turning accusing after a moment prompting Derek to purse his lips and brace himself, he knew that look, he hadn't seen it in a while but he knew it. That was your "I've got a bone to pick with you" look, Derek had to fight off the smile that threatened to grow on his lips when he realized that this particular look hadn't changed since you were five years old.
"Do you want to tell me why Scott McCall got to see you before I did?" The man under fire let out a defeated sigh, "If it makes you feel any better I would've rathered it be you that I bumped into." He responded halfheartedly, letting out a huff you turned towards your parents who were sat at the dining table.
"What were you guys talking about before I came in?" You questioned, feeling nervous as the three adults suddenly went rigid, glancing between each other before Derek nodded his head in your father's direction, silently encouraging him to tell you what they'd been discussing earlier.
Letting out a heavy exhale through his nose your father motioned for you to sit down in the chairs across from him, Derek moving to sit beside your father in front of you as you did. "This is going to be hard to believe but I need you to keep an open mind while we explain, alright?" You only managed a nod of your head, nerves ever-growing as you waited for someone to elaborate on whatever they were about to tell you.
"You've heard of werewolves haven't you?"
 "Sure." You responded confused, the question seemed out of place in what you assumed was to be a serious conversation.
"Well they're real." Your father responded. You couldn't stop the snort that left your mouth, breaking out into a fit of giggles before you noticed the three adults before you looking at you with absolutely no trace of amusement. "Wait you're serious?!" Your eyes almost bugged out of your head as Derek's eyes flashed blue and he bared his teeth in response to your exclamation.
"...So the howling Scott said he heard in the woods?" You trailed off, eyes wide as Derek nodded his head, "it was a werewolf." 
"You?" 
"No. An alpha." 
Eyes never leaving Derek, you posed another question, "Is this why you're family called themselves a pack?"
The man nodded, not being able to get a word in edgewise while you continued to fire out question after question, "You guys always said I was the littlest of the pack does that mean-" Your mother cut you off with a light chuckle, "No babe, you're not a werewolf." A sigh of relief left you when you slumped back against the kitchen chair, a small twinge of disappointment flooding through you, that would've been cool.
"You may not be a wolf genetically but you're still a member of our pack." Derek assured you, sensing your disappointment. "Are they in the pack too?" You inquired, glancing quickly at your parents before returning your gaze to Derek.
"No. Just you." You couldn't lie and say the statement didn't make you feel special but still, it confused you, "Why not?" 
It was your mother's turn to speak now, giving the werewolf a break from your constant curiosity. 
"Back before the fire your dad and I had a certain role to play in Beacon Hills," she started, reaching for your hand before she continued, "from the minute you were born you bonded with almost everyone in the Hale house, we didn't understand it completely but we assumed it was because of how close me and your dad were to them. I guess they kind of saw you as their newest cub after Cora." Derek chuckled, chiming in with a quiet, "More like runt of the little." Giving him a glare you kicked his shin under the table while he laughed and you nodded for your mother to keep going. 
"Anyway, as you already know me and your dad met in college- studying Mythology. We uncovered supernatural occurrence after supernatural occurrence and those supernatural occurrences eventually led us here, to the Hale's." She told you, looking to your father for him to continue, he cleared his throat before speaking, "We got caught up in it, built a huge repertoire of supernatural entities, including werewolves, I met Peter and we made a truce, ended up becoming best friends in the process."
Nodding your head slowly you spoke up again, "So you guys were like… their supernatural encyclopedia?"
"Pretty much." Derek answered.
"Okayyyy… but that still doesn't answer my question, why am I in the pack and not you guys?" You posed the question to your father who looked at your mother nervously.
"When you were four things got messy, really messy," Derek scoffed, rolling his eyes muttering "understatement of the century" under his breath as your father went on, "Your mother got captured by hunters, Chris Argent and his little gang of merry men." He tensed his jaw, saying the name through clenched teeth before composing himself, "So your uncle Peter made the executive decision to initiate you into the pack to make absolutely sure that nobody would get their hands on you." 
"Why?" The three of them erupted into laughs at the look on your face, Derek opting to answer the question, "I don't know how you did it but you had him completely wrapped around your finger. Peter is the most selfish person I've ever met but he would've sooner died himself than let anyone touch a hair on your head. As part of a pack members protect each other at all costs. With you officially a member it meant that we were bonded to you, you were one of us." The mention of Peter made you smile, not that you'd admit it to Derek but you felt the newly exposed pack bond strongest with Peter, the dots only connecting in your head now years later. Derek picking up on your train of thought spoke up, "That's why you can't bring yourself to stop visiting him."
Your mother's voice cut in again, "Those four crescent scars on the back of your neck are from Peter, it's how he marked you as a member without actually turning you." She explained, your hand absentmindedly rubbed the nape of your neck, fingers tracing deftly over the scars that you often forgot about.
"I know it's a lot to digest but there's one more thing." Derek sighed, a slight feeling of guilt growing within him for having to dump this on you all at once. When you didn't say anything, only looked at him he continued, "The hunters who kidnapped your mother, well they're back."
Anxiety bubbled up in your stomach as you whipped your head to your mom, "Are they gonna try take her again?" Your voice was bordering on sounding manic, Derek's voice quelling your worried before you had a panic attack.
"No. I don't think so at least. It's me and the alpha they're after, and- I trust you not to tell anyone this- your friend Scott too." Your eyes widened yet again, Scott was a werewolf? That must have been why he was seeking Derek out earlier today, "That's why he was looking for you isn't it?" You voiced your thoughts, Derek rose an eyebrow in response, "Looking for me?" You nodded enthusiastically, "Yeah, today in school, he and Stilinski started asking me a bunch of questions about why you were here- I told them I'd help them find you." You clarified, trying not to laugh at the exhausted look that came over Derek's face when the name Stilinski fell from your lips.
"Tell him to meet me in the woods later. I need him to help find the alpha." Derek instructed, watching contently as you pulled your phone out of your pocket and began texting Scott, thankful you'd gotten his number.
You: I'm with Derek
You: He wanted me to tell you to meet him in the woods later
Scott: When is later?
"When is later?" You voiced, not looking up from your phone, "After dark." Derek answered and you laughed, "Alright, Bruce Wayne."
You: He says "after dark"
Scott: :/ cryptic much
You: Best I could do wolfie 
Scott: He told you?????? 
You: Yep, I'll fill you in tomorrow there's a lot to unpack here…
Scott: Please don't tell anybody
You: Your secret is safe with me don't worry
With that you set your phone down in front of you, before something crossed your mind, "Wait you said Argent earlier right?" Derek nodded, your mother and father having moved from the table, preparing food in the kitchen.
"Allison Argent just started at my school, I'm pretty sure Scott has a crush on her actually." You informed, shrugging your shoulders lightly, picking up your phone when it buzzed and missing the way Derek rolls his eyes.
Isaac: I'll be over at 7 <3
You: Great what movie do you want me to get? 
Isaac: Ladies choice ;)
You: Hope you like Legally Blonde xoxoxo
Isaac: Seriously again?
You: You said my choice no take backs, love you <3333333
The time was 5:45pm and the sky had turned from blue to black, you assumed Derek would be heading off to stress Scott out soon enough so you stood from the table and grabbed your jacket, "I'm gonna go rent a DVD for me and Isaac, you guys need anything?" You directed towards your parents who were messing around in the kitchen like teenagers causing you to roll your eyes but smile. 
"Huh? No we're okay. When is lover boy coming?" Your father asked, wiggling his eyebrows at you, laughing at how you groaned, "Stop calling my best friend 'loverboy' one of these days you're gonna slip up and call him that to his face and he'll literally die of embarrassment on the spot!" You yelled, cheeks burning and expecting your mother to come to your defense only to have her laugh along with your father, "Yeah, don't talk about your future son in law like that." 
"God, you two are the worst. Derek tell them to stop harassing my friendships." The dark haired man rose an eyebrow from his seat, a strict look on his face, "She's too young for a boyfriend."
"Thanks, Derek. That was absolutely not helpful at all, but thank you." You muttered, grabbing your car keys and heading out the door. 
You loved your parents, adored them, they raised you incredibly- that didn't mean they didn't annoy the hell out of you sometimes, though. They had about fifty names that they liked to call Isaac instead of his actual name, the most popular being "loverboy", "heart eyes", or your mother's personal favorite "future son in law." You supposed it was good that they liked him enough to consider him a future son in law, however, it was pretty insensitive when they could clearly see that you were painfully in love with him and fighting with inner turmoil because of it.
After a five minute drive you pulled up to the video store, stepping out and noticing Lydia Martin in the car next to you, you made brief eye contact with the strawberry blonde and the pair of you exchanged friendly smiles before you entered the store. Lydia was nice but you noticed she wore a facade around school, more specifically around Jackson. You remembered quite vividly how she shot Isaac down rather brutally back in freshman year. He'd only asked her out to prove a point to you, you couldn't remember what now but you'd gotten in some form of argument and the resolution you'd come to was that he prove himself and ask someone out, that someone happened to be Lydia. He didn't really like her but the whole debacle did significantly bruise his ego.
Of course, wherever Lydia Martin is Jackson Whittemore was never far away. You almost laughed when the first thing you heard after walking into the store was the jock shouting about not being able to find "The Notebook".
"It's over there." You chimed in, alerting him of your presence and pointing straight ahead of him towards the movie he was searching for.
Nodding thankfully the blonde made his way toward the far shelf while you walked to the other side of the store.
Despite being across the room, Jackson's gasp sounded clearly making you nearly jump out of your skin. Placing a hand on your rapidly beating heart you just shook your head and let out a long breath. You were probably just hearing things, your mind concocting noises to psych you out after learning the new information about the supernatural, Jackson's gasp had absolutely nothing to do with the snarls you thought you were hearing from behind you.
You had yourself convinced you were just hearing things. That was until the snarls became mingled with hot, slobbery breaths that hit the nape of your neck, shocking you into spinning yourself around. You couldn't help the yelp of fear that left your lips when your eyes met beaming red orbs… the eyes- they weren't human.
What you were looking at you could only describe as a beast. A wolf. The ability you usually possessed to control your breathing left you as you heaved, continuing to stumble back as the creature took steps forward until your back hit a row of shelves painfully. DVDs crashing to the floor in your wake.
The creature was face to face with you now, snout coming in contact with your nose as it's demonic eyes bored into your soul. It snarled as you felt your heart rate increase, it was going so fast you were half scared it would detach from it's blood vessels. Everything about the creature scared you, from its eyes, to it's snarl, to its fangs baring in your face, but what frightened you the most was that you felt like you knew it. There was a familiarity with it and you could not for the life of you explain it but you could feel it.
The scream that left you when the beast finally lunged for you with snapping jaws shook the store as the wolf sunk its teeth into the soft tissue of where your shoulder connects to your neck. The pain you felt was as blinding as the eyes that stared at you, the beast raised it's hair covered paw in the air, fully intent of swiping the last remnants of life from your now limp form before it suddenly stopped, looking at you with so much uncertainty. Not getting a chance to analyze the new look on the things hairy face the creature resumed its position on all fours then crashed out of the store window. 
"(L/n)?!" Jackson whisper shouted, from around the corner, only seeing your legs peeking out from behind a row of shelves as he made his way over to you, his movements jittery. You tried to call out but your voice failed you, you kicked your legs out weakly to let him know where you were, not knowing he was already rushing towards you.
"Christ… ok just stay awake I'm calling the police right now." The blond, who you'd never known to care for anything other than himself, spoke frantically- shaking as he pulled out his phone.
Your hearing faded in and out as Jackson shouted at law enforcement over the phone. Tilting your head to the side, very painfully, you began to panic once you noticed the gaping bite that had been taken out of your neck, you whimpered pathetically at the sight of your entire shoulder, neck and hair drenched in blood, your blood. Your panic seemed to rub off on Jackson as he noticed your breath becoming heavier and heavier by the second, tears falling down your face as you stared at your injury in fear.
It was just then that sirens wailed from outside, this eased Jackson's nerves, the boy, you had to hand it to him, didn't leave your side until you were safely in an ambulance- your nerves however were still fried, panic growing by the second as strangers fretted around you, yelling orders at each other and pushing painfully against your wounds. Calm didn't settle over you until one of the medics injected you with a needle, you didn't have a clue what was in it and you didn't have time to theorize as your world turned black.
209 notes · View notes
starrynima · 5 years ago
Text
history modc: episode six
favourite moments
this episode was a roller coaster ride and i have sO much to talk about
so umm... lusun fucked in the gym bathroom. i don’t know what else to say lmao
boxiang whispering i love you was good™
Tumblr media
n e ways, we continue on with the bike date that kinda turned into a stargazing date which is fine with me (sorry the pic is blurry af my internet is dying)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
they stopped at an overlooking of the city and haoting sets up these lights and honestly i cry because when will i ever have a good bf like that
then they start talking and xigu shares how he likes to talk to the stars because he thinks his parents are there somewhere with the stars and it’s so private and intimate
they’ve come so far from being enemies to becoming two people who trust each other so much i wANT TO CRY
then he asks haoting if he believes and haoting holds his hands and says “i believe you” and my heart just bursts with joy
xigu: i’m gonna study the stars” haoting: that’s zoology (lmao dw guys he’s still a dumbass)
haoting saying he wants to work hard and study in the same department as xigu
Tumblr media
surprise cheek kiss + another soft kiss
Tumblr media
also this shot of them looking at the stars together is so fucking beautiful and perfect. we all know the confrontation with haoting’s parents later in the episode is gonna happen and this scene was basically them telling xigu’s parents about them (the history writers went off on this scene and gave us this amazing symbolism)
yooo haoting got second place in school!! i can’t believe xianggu are really THAT couple that are respectively the 1st and 2nd place. what a power couple.
haoting’s thank you speech summed up: “yu xigu”
Tumblr media
lmao xigu walked in on the squad trying to strip boxiang but he doesn’t even look shocked
then he questions them and haoting is all like “yeah! wtf are you guys doing?” as if he wasn’t the one who told the squad to start stripping boxiang eye-
Tumblr media
the look of betrayal
Tumblr media Tumblr media
and ya’ll!! xigu and and haoting are the type of couple that holds hands and ditches their friends hahahaha
okay ya’ll know what happens next so let’s break it down to my favourite little moments even though the whole thing is amazing in it’s own right (get ready for A LOT of screenshots)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
the FIRST thing that xigu does when haoting sits on top of him is caress haoting’s thigh and leave his hand on haoting’s waist aaaaAAAAHHH
“ i really wanted to kiss you just know.” he made his intentions clear and gave xigu a moment to decide
the way xigu looked up and down at him before kissing haoting first made me SCREAM tF (seriously though, i love that in their very first ‘intense’ kiss, xigu was the one to kiss first)
Tumblr media
ya’ll the smiles in between the kisses *chef’s kiss*
Tumblr media
xigu sitting up while haoting sits on his lap as they make out?? sign me tf up
ya’ll can you believe haoting is a power bottom and xigu is a soft top (if u disagree fight me) (jk i’m weak)
Tumblr media
the way haoting stopped and pulled away to let xigu know with his eyes that he wanted to do more and then xigu started unbuttoning haoting’s shirt
xigu feeling up haoting’s pecs. what a mood.
Tumblr media
THIS SCREENSHOT IS GOLD and is haoting’s mom’s pov lmao + the shoulderrrr
the way haoting jumped on the defense for xigu when his dad was busy screaming
also haoting being mad about his dad saying that liking boys is shameless and not normal. thAT’S MY BABY.
i interrupt the angsty bullet points to let ya’ll know that when boxiang’s cousin was spraying zhigang with his water bottle, i spent a good five minutes giggling about it
he hella salty that they fucked in his gym’s bathroom and honestly if i were him, i would be salty too
also him, showing up at zhigang’s store, to give condoms hahahHAHAHA
and when a customer arrived, zhigang hid the condoms so fucking fast lol
now let’s commence with the angst
Tumblr media
it’s not really a fav moment per say as it did make me cry so bad (i always say i’m crying but this time, i had legit tears streaming down my face) but can we talk about haoting and how amazing he is and how in love he really is
“call out and stop him and tell him ‘don’t be scared, i’m right here.’ but i couldn’t” this line really hit me and the way his voice cracked made my heart crack
Tumblr media
and the sister just wiping his tears and being there for him. like she knew she couldn’t really fix the problem as it’s obviously not up to her so instead she sat there and listened to him and made sure that he knew someone was on his side ugh they really are sibling goals
haoting hesitating on saying “i can say i don’t love him” because he does love him and saying he doesn’t is hard
also him breaking down at the thought of xigu giving up on them
can i just point out that song weien’s performance in this was so good and hella heartbreaking
and of course, last but not the least, xigu showing up at haoting’s house to declare that he is not giving up on them. i talked about this scene on this post and shared my kind of analysis
in conclusion: i love love love this episode with all my heart
240 notes · View notes
you-need-a-jello-shot · 5 years ago
Text
a really really long post about Vicki’s final show (seriously its so long)
It’s like everything that I can remember from the performance - not really focused on vicki btw but she is in there a lot dw
In megasix Danielle winked at the audience and I don't think I've ever been so suddenly attracted to someone
Also Danielle!Parr walks like a fucking gazelle she puts so much grace and power into every step I am ASTOUNDED
Also if the whole cast would please stop smirking like that at the audience throughout the whole of Ex wives thatd be great cos I would like to leave the theatre with some of my being in tact
They kept giving eachother cute little eye contact and doing cute little things with Vicki (mostly Vicki + Collette)
Ngl I could not look away from Collette the whole time she plays Aragon like that one popular girl at school who knows they’re better than you and you agree - she is SUCH a queen bee. Like she doesn't smile she smirks at you. her eyebrow just flicks UP and my heart explodes
Also genuinely just seems more relaxed in that role compared to the first time I saw her
I JUST REMEMBERED THAT DURING NO WAY SHE WENT "MEOW" AT THE AUDIENCE I AM SO FUCKIN GAY idk how to explain which bit was at but basically at 1:17 in the recorded version when Renée says like "woo!" Collette does the meow instead and oof
After every song the audience literally would not stop clapping for like a solid 10-15 seconds
Courtney omfg she is so perfect as Boleyn she has this little shit grin on her face throughout like she just roasted the fuck outta you and I love it she sells it sO well
"he must have really liked my head...." aND THEN SHE DOES THE THING WITH THE MICROPHONE IT WAS SO FUNNY
Not exactly feral but has so much energy like idk how she does it in that costume with those lights on she must get so fuckin hot like I was hot and I was wearing a crop top (yes I know it's cold out but I'm hardcore so it's fine)
Also I don’t remember when it was but I think Boleyn said something sassy about getting her head chopped off again and she and vicki did a little fistbump in the back it was c u t e. I think court and vic really try to remind everyone boleyn and howard were actually cousins
Hana Seymour is Adorable
Like she just seems like a young version of Natalie's Seymour, which is appropriate cos she is one of the younger queen's . When she said "really, really old school" she dragged out the laughter after and looked so proud of herself
When giving her speech about how she had it easy, Nat!Seymour seems genuinely hurt by what the queen's say about her. Like she constantly has the pain of it on her mind. Whilst Hana!Seymour seems to just laugh a long a bit, rolling her eyes and stuff like it doesn't really affect her that much. Maybe her version is just more at peace with it.
Anyway we've decided to Stan because her heart of stone was so fuckin perfect like she kept looking like she was going to break down and start crying I genuinely thought she was going to but then she sang the next line with such ferocity and it totally went with the theme of the song
As always Haus of Holbein was chaotic as shit. At one point one of them started doing the Criss cross thing with their knees and then literally all of them started doing it it was great. also Danielle does fingerguns as she goes across the stage and then leaps like a ballet dance its fuckin great.
Cherelle was actually so frickin good as well!!! I didn't really know what to expect from her but I she actually puts so much thought into her performance. She has so many little mannerisms that are so funny
Can't think of many but she keeps going back to the same person on the right side of the stage "oh. You again."
Actually made me realise how little speaking lines Cleves has outside of her song I think
ALSO when Parr and Aragon are pretending to be dudes in a club going up to Cleves tHEY HAVE A HAND SHAKE AND COLLETTE HAD HER TONGUE IN HER CHEEK AND IM LIKE WHY AM I ATTRACTED TO THAT WTF
Vicki's Howard is was literally so perfect. I wasn't sure what to expect cos I've only ever seen her as Boleyn so I've seen her at peak chaos. But omg she literally made me forget she was Vicki she just seemed so SmOl. But she was also definitely a Brat Kat.
When Parr pushed her forward the audience cheered she was like "aw thanks" and flicked her hair over her shoulder.
I think I might even do a separate post of just her performance cos omf I have a lot to say
OKAY SO THIS WAS MY FAVOURITE BIt
Idk if it's cos Vicki had just done AYWD for the last time or cos it was so close to the end or what but idk the chaos energy just seemed to be AMPed
When they're prompting Parr to start and theyre all posed with their arms outstretched they held that for SO long and it was so awkward and hilarious omfg cos Danielle went to sing and then didn't and it was great
And then she was like "nah I'm good" and then everyone just kind of deflated and then band kinda tapered off and it was ALSO long
And then Aragon was like ".... :D" and tries to rehold the position even though no one else is and Howard comes forward and is like "n..no" and puts her arms down it was so fuckin funny
Then Anne was just like "wot"
When Vicki said "oh I'm Catherine Parr I draw lines in arbitrary places" she mimicked Danielle's voice and made it really deep and breathy LMAO
And then when they were all in the group arguing on stage about Parr not singing and Danielle's just there looking at the audience like :/ Howard just yelled "I SANG FOR 7 MINUTES"
And then Aragon turned round and was like "I'm so sorry about this" to the audience
And Danielle really made it seem like Parr was fully just going off randomly and it wasn't planned like she was thinking about what to say before she said anything like "um... Okay... Uh... Okay well - bit of context - I've actually had my fair share of marriages"
Also DANIELLE STEERS' SINGING VOICE IS THE SEXIEST THING
It's so breathy and deep and I oop
Like damn she just seems like the softest parr
Idk how to explain it but she was soft and wholesome but also had so much power like ma'am..... her parr just seems like the chillest person
Anyway they just were having so much fucking FUN by the end they were just fully going for it it was great to watch
And then Danielle gave a really great speech and called Vicki a firecracker and Collette was like "if you ever wanna see her silly little face again catch her on tour" and I :)))
And then they gave her flowers and started doing the megasix and the fucking POWER CUT OUT AND EVERYONE WAS JUST LIKE ...
And Courtney literally started pissing herself and started singing the song like a rugby lad and everyone joined in it was peak culture
Anyway yea that was that
124 notes · View notes
ladyhistorypod · 4 years ago
Text
Episode 9: Monkey See, Monkey Do
Sources:
Helen Martini
Museum of the City of New York
IMDB
British Pathé (YouTube)
New York Heritage Digital Collections
Further Reading: My Zoo Family,  Cubs in the Tub, Mother to Tigers
Dian Fossey
Biography
BBC Earth
National Geographic: The Renegade Scientist Who Taught Us To Love Gorillas
Zoologist Dian Fossey: A Storied Life With Gorillas
Lady Science
DW: Made For Minds
Alana’s Surprise Lady
The Age
SF Gate
Kokoflix (YouTube)
PBS
Gorilla Foundation
New York Times
NPR
Washington Post
ABC News
National Geographic
National Geographic (YouTube)
60 Minutes Australia (YouTube)
Attributions:
birdsong, water splash, Zoos & Young Animals, Under Water
Click below for a full text transcript of this episode!
Haley: A brief warning about the following episode of Lady History: this episode contains sensitive topics such as murder, violence, and racism.
Archival Audio: Gorilla at Large! The most murderous, destructive beast man has ever seen! Gorilla at Large! In 3D and color by Technicolor!
Lexi: Alana, do you want to share your good news?
Alana: I do, I have very good news. So, in– I think it was episode five– we very subtly mentioned that GW had to let me into school so that Lexi and I could live together and um… Actually the same day that episode seven came out, we found out that GW let me into grad school.
Lexi: Woohoo!!
Haley: I feel like that's a universe telling you like “here is why” if it aired on the same day.
Alana: Yeah, definitely. I really think like. My dad was like “did you put– did you talk about your podcast on your application” and I was like yeah. I listened to– the suffragist episode? I listened like four times the day it came out. I was like this is so good. We're so good at this.
(Lexi laughing)
[INTRO MUSIC]
Alana: Hello and welcome to Lady History; the good, the bad, and the ugly ladies you missed in history class. I’ve run out of ways to say that we're on Zoom but Lexi what's the difference between monkeys and apes?
Lexi: Like. You want me to scientifically give you the difference?
Alana: Sure.
Lexi: Monkeys have tails.
Alana: Monkeys do have tails.
Lexi: There's a lot more but like monkeys do have tails. And that's the easy way to tell. So please, when you take your child to the zoo do not call the chimps or gorillas or orangutans or bonobos monkeys. As someone who previously worked in a zoo, and witnessed mothers and nannies telling their children “look at the monkey sweetie” to an intelligent ape, I… Nope. Mm. Okay.
Alana: That's why I picked that question for you. Also, Haley. Haley, what’s your favorite zoo?
Haley: I am a zoo connoisseur. I love zoos. Love me some animals but I'm going to have to go with my hometown, my first zoo ever was the Bronx Zoo. I have many memories, some scary, some pleasant, some very confusing but generally just like would ten out of ten live there.
Alana: And I'm Alana and my personality is fifty percent I love aquariums.
Haley: No.
Alana: Why are you shaking your head at me Haley?
Lexi: I also love aquariums.
Haley: Fish freak me out.
Lexi: Aquariums freak you out?
Haley: Fish and birds like, scare me on a personal level.
Lexi: Those are my favorite animals! I had a fish tank in my nursery as a baby. I think that's where my parents went wrong because I got a degree in museum studies and I just want to work with living collections that would be fantastic, so hit me up, any zoo in America. Actually, any zoo in the world. I am mobile. I am single. I do have a parrot so if your country does not allow parrots to come in from foreign countries please consider me off your list. But if I can bring a parrot into your country and you want me to work in a zoo or aquarium hit me up.
Haley: Cal Academy is right for you, that's where I– very close to where I currently live and they have like their live collection. I thought their penguins were fake. Like I did not realize because the way– Okay, the way the Cal Academy is set up is that when you walk in you’re greeted with this like giant forest– like what is called, atrium? Aviary is for the birds, right? So this is just like a whole encapsule of foliage and you can see some like butterflies go around and you can see the beginning of the aquarium, and the whole bottom floor is the aquarium and it's really really cool. You also have like an albino or white alligator. I forget what the guy's name is called, but it's like a white alligator that they have to– if he ever gets hurt and like he starts bleeding, since he’s white it's very noticeable they have to like hide him to not scare the children it’s a whole thing. Oh, the penguins. The penguins are in like their African, early human wing which are all taxidermy animals or like faux bones those like display of human origins like the Smithsonian and then one wall it's just penguins and then they started moving I truly just jumped out of my skin. This was like at a…  the first time I went was at like an adult night, 21 and older, you get a drink, you walk around the like, museum.
Alana: That’s sexy. I want to go to that.
Haley: I had like a beer in me and then the penguins started moving. People have like very mixed feelings on the Cal Academy but it's mostly people who like hate zoos, and like don’t understand that like some zoos are actually decent. Like it’s– we're not talking about GW Tiger King zoo, we’re talking about like–
Lexi: That's not a zoo. That's just not a zoo.
Alana: That’s not a zoo!
Haley: The amount of people who have fought me when I'm like “I love zoos” they're like “animals should be wild” and it's like “no. You do not put a hurt penguin back with its herd.” Like the elephant missing a tusk? Is not going to do well. Like GW Tiger King zoo? Not a zoo. That’s just–
Lexi: Science is important.
Alana: Science is important!
Lexi: The zoos on Tiger King, not science. When you go to a zoo, or are considering going to a zoo, look up what their contributions to scientific research and animal welfare are. If they are not AZA certified, do not go there. There was an incident recently in which the Pittsburgh Zoo, which used to be AZA certified, became un-AZA certified. It’s still an okay zoo but like in general look for AZA certifications. But the thing about AZA zoos is they follow a species survival plan, which means they don't decide when and where the animals go. There is a larger conglomerate that decides when animals need to be moved around. And so if one zoo needs a gorilla that will breed with another gorilla because that is what is best for gorillas all over the world, they will move the gorilla. They get a private plane and they take the gorilla with the keeper to meet its new keeper and that's where the gorilla moves because it's all about the science and the species preservation.
Alana: I really like the New England Aquarium and I'm not just saying that because I hope Erin Keif is listening. Um, even though I do hope she’s listening. Hi, Erin! We think you’re really cool!
Lexi: The aquarium in your homeland is beautiful.
Alana: It's so cool. I love the big old tube and then you like walk up around the tube. I think that's dope. I love that. That's like their main exhibit and I think it's so cool. I also saw like– I was in Boston maybe ten years ago; little more, little less, and there were like jellyfish! Right off the docks! Because we’re killing the turtles! That’s what I learned at the New England Aquarium!
Archival Audio: The llama family and cousins are all in the market for babysitters. While Mrs Helen Martini serves in that capacity for 3 little tiger kittens, born of parents themselves born and raised at the zoo, the triplets are concerned mainly with calories and vitamins and rather resent the working press. They're not up to scratch, yet, but they sure know the proper facial expressions. What a picture they make! (Tiger cub meowing sound)
Lexi: So, Haley, we were talking about your favorite zoo in the world. What was that zoo?
Haley: The Bronx Zoo.
Lexi: And do you know much about the history of the Bronx Zoo?
Haley: I probably used to, you're gonna have to fill me in on this one.
Lexi: Do you know who the first female zookeeper of the Bronx Zoo was? 
Haley: Your lady?
Lexi: Yes! Helen Martini!
Alana: Her name is Martini? 
Lexi: Yes, her name is Martini. So like, wonderful. We’re already off to a great start. But yes that is when talking about today so I thought it was very relevant that you mentioned how much you love the Bronx Zoo, that it's your home turf, because it was her home turf too. So a quick preface to our upcoming story, finding digital sources on Helen is extremely difficult. I had a really hard time with it. It appears very little has been published about her, particularly online and she doesn't even have a Wikipedia page, so for information about her life I had to use an IMDB page that exists for her, which I'm not sure if it's accurate and I'm not sure why it even exists, she was not a movie star. So take all this info on her early years with a tiny grain of salt. Once she actually starts being involved with the zoo that's when the information gets a little more accurate. Helen Martini was born on June 5, 1912 in Newfoundland, Canada. Her father, Matthew Delaney, was a merchant seaman and Helen was born with an eye problem that doctors told her parents would result in her eventually going blind. After father's death in 1925, her mother took her to New York to undergo eye operations. These operations helped protect her sight. Some attribute her caring personality to this turning point in her life. As an adult, Helen married a man named Fred. He worked as a jeweler and the couple lived in an apartment in the Bronx. Fred and Helen decided to have a baby, but unfortunately lost their child due to miscarriage. Helen was told by doctors that she would never be able to have a child. Helen turned her attention to caring for fur babies instead. She and Fred became diligent pet owners and avid animal lovers. The couple also lived close to the Bronx Zoo, and frequently visited the furry friends that lived there. One day, Helen saw an ad for an open position at the Bronx Zoo. At the time, American zoos only hired men as zookeepers. So Helen did what any sensible woman in mid-century America would do. She encouraged her husband to quit his job as a jeweler and apply to become a zookeeper. Fred had no formal training or experience in zoology, but he got the job. Fred became the keeper of the lion house, which was home to an array of big cat species. In 1942, a lioness had a cub and refused to care for it. Worried it would die, Fred decided he needed to enlist the help of the best animal mom he knew- his own wife Helen. Helen took in the cub and named him Macarthur, in honor of General Macarthur. Helen cared for the cub in her and Fred’s apartment, following the zoo’s protocols for care. At the age of 2 months, Macarthur was thriving and he returned to the zoo to live among other lions. Two years later, the zoo’s female tiger gave birth to three cubs. She abandoned all of them, refusing to nurse or care for them. Helen, who had successfully saved Macarthur, was again called upon to care for the baby big cats. She cared for the three cubs in her apartment, just like Macarthur, but the zoo had no set protocols for abandoned baby tigers. There was no guide for her to follow, as the Bronx Zoo had never successfully raised orphan baby tigers before. Helen, determined to succeed and help save the animals, used her own motherly instincts, her previous experience working with lions, and extensive research to develop a method for rearing the cubs. Much of her method was improvised, and used trial and error. Eventually, she developed the perfect diet to get the tigers fit; milk and water in the early days, then the addition of chopped meat as they grew. All three cubs became strong and were able to go back to the zoo. Helen had become a successful zookeeper, all without ever being paid or rewarded in any way. So the Bronx Zoo decided to do the unthinkable- hire a woman. Helen was officially hired as a zookeeper and became America's first woman to work as a professional zookeeper. Her role was to care for baby animals, and she established the Bronx Zoo's first nursery. She converted an old storage space into a place for orphaned and abandoned baby animals. Helen still cared for the youngest babies who needed round the clock care in her apartment, but the older couples are able to thrive in a space all their own. In 1945, Helen was a household name in the Bronx, known by many as a woman with tiger cubs in her apartment. Photographers from Look magazine visited her home, documenting the unique situation of her and her husband. Baby tigers rummaged through the fridge, sat in Helen's armchair, and even rummaged through the cameraman's bag. Helen did not stop at just lions and tigers. She knew other baby animals at the zoo would not be able to thrive if their mother stopped caring for them. Throughout her career, she also raised black leopards, marmosets, jaguars, gorillas, deer, antelopes, and even skunks. Her favorite of this was still, of course, the tigers. Before her retirement in 1960, she had raised 27 tigers in total. In 1951, newsreel video of Helen shows her caring for a baby gorilla named Mambo and refers to her as an “ardent disciple of Spock and Gessell” two child care experts of the era. In the video, Helen feeds baby Mambo from a bottle and sets him in his crib for a nap. You can watch this clip on YouTube and I will include the link on our Tumblr. In 1953, Helen and Fred published a book of photographs and stories which they called “My Family Zoo.” In this book, Helen mentions personal accounts of her favorite animals- Bagheera the leopard, Ugly the howler monkey, Zambezi the lion, Dolly the deer, and Dacca, her beloved tiger cub who went on to have cubs of her own, making Helen a tiger grandma. Unfortunately, this book is out of print and extremely rare. The cheapest copies seem to cost around $60 today. Helen has also inspired several modern children's books including “Cubs in the Tub” and “Mother to Tigers” which are both about her raising the three initial tiger cubs. Helen's work establishing a nursery at the Bronx Zoo was revolutionary in the world of zoology and zoo management. Through her efforts, dozens of vulnerable baby animals were saved and went on to live healthy lives as ambassadors for their species. Her observations of their behaviour and reflections on the issues of raising baby wild animals in captivity provided a foundation of understanding for future zookeepers. Helen, who brought motherly kindness and a caring nature to the zoo, is proof that sometimes a woman's touch is all an industry needs to progress. Also, I just wanna make a quick plea that if any of you are skilled Wikipedia editors, please help my girl Helen get on there and link it to the Bronx Zoo page so that people can find her because she is so cool and there are not many resources on her out there.
Alana: I have a question. Is Bagheera named after The Jungle Book Bagheera?
Lexi: I believe so, but it could just be a coincidence. But it sounds like it, probably.
Alana: It seems like it.
Lexi: Yeah.
Alana: I remember people were talking about the… it's like my mom's favorite song from Jungle Book, where King Louis, the orangutan king, is like singing with Mowgli and people are like “that's racist” and I'm like. I have bad news for you guys. About the Jungle Book. Bad news about Rudyard Kipling.
Lexi: Ruining their childhoods.
Alana: Yeah, for real. It’s like I… I… I have bad news, you know that guy, the guy who wrote The Jungle Book? He also wrote something called “The White Man's Burden” about how it's white people's job to civilize people of color. So maybe… beating a dead horse a little bit.
Archival Audio: In a land, in a forest grim and grand, where the chimpanzees and the cinnamon trees live a simple life with the simianese, a big gorilla he.
Haley: Born in 1932, she is known as the woman who gave her life to save the gorillas. Dian Fossey lead an incredible life and this story is definitely a roller coaster. Honestly guys this might have been the like hardest story for me to write because one, there's so much information about her out there, a lot of that information is conflicting. Based on the author's bias. It is also something that like. Like 1932 is not that far away it's less than a hundred years and it's not like she was– she… born and died between like before 1950. She's kinda more relevant. She knows Jane Goodall, we'll get into all of that. A lot of that information was hard to dissect. Let's– let's hope I did a good enough job for y’all. Please don't come out– come after me if I left something out. I could honestly go on for hours this could have been like a two parter for me. Alright. Let's start this history book at the beginning. Dr Dian Fossey was born and raised in San Francisco, California and she grew up in an environment surrounded by animals. So much so that she wanted to be a veterinarian, and fun fact she was an avid horseback rider so we got a horse gal for us here. Fast forward a little bit. Dian Fossey didn't really study veterinary, but she was still in the whole helping people, helping animals– because like humans are animals– and graduated with an occupational therapy degree. Moved to Louisville, Kentucky where she was the director of the Kosair Crippled Children’s Hospital as an occupational therapist or she was the head of that department. This was in 1955 hence the dumb name. I really hope that wasn't the name but it was in 1955. There she also was living on a farm so she couldn’t super get away from animals because she did own some, had the whole farm life. But it wasn't enough to fulfil her adventurous side, and as the years went on, she was kind of itching to do something more and going back to animals seemed like the obvious choice. So in September 1963, Dian went to Africa for the first time ever. This trip not only cost her her entire life savings, but also an entire bank loan had to be taken out just so she could like go to Africa and do some research. Well, this clearly paid off because while visiting Kenya, Tanzania, and other places, she met paleoanthropologist Mary Leakey and her husband archaeologist Louis Leakey. And this is a side note like snaps they introduced her as Mary Leakey and her husband and my jaw just dropped I was like yes I was going to do this anyway! It was also the relationship that she had with the Leakeys, that she met up with Jane Goodall. And the Leakeys at this point wanted to find ways to make sure other areas– because paleoanthropology is the study of like really really old things, fossils, before human life– they are the guys who did Lucy. Af- Afric– Africanus– what was it–
Alana: Australopithecus
Haley: Austro– Someone please say it.
Lexi: Australopithecus africanus, right?
Haley: There we go. Yes, that is Lucy. It was also this relationship with the Leakeys that she was able to meet Jane Goodall. And Jane Goodall was part of this whole Leakey corporation, society, relationship, business type thing, because the Leakeys as paleoanthropologists were really interested in studying primates and how they worked genetically, historically, all that stuff with our ancestors as Australopithecus Africanus etcetera etcetera etcetera. We can truly visit this for hours and hours and hours. However, we don't have the time. So Dian kind of got the gorilla side of it and she also met with native wildlife photographers who were working on a documentary about African gorillas, and it was there that Dian was like “yes, I love gorillas, I really want to continue this, this is where I was meant to be.” And back in the States Dian kept thinking about Africa, endangered gorillas, and how she can get more involved. She ended up accepting an offer which allowed her to live among the mountain gorillas in the Democratic Republic of Congo and then Rwanda, because of like the civil war that was happening she had to move around, be safe. In Rwanda, she established the Karisoke Research Foundation in Rwanda's Volcanoes National Park to be like the base camp for her research. She grew her name in the primatology field and was the leader on the physiological and behavioral side of mountain gorillas. So really looking at how they interact with each other, and what individualistic qualities they resemble, so not seeing them as purely these hungry animals that will rip you from limb to limb. How did they act with their children, how did they act with their others like the male versus female, how do they act with other species in the area, all that good stuff. And her work also extended to the protection of our furry comrades by shedding light on how poachers kill gorillas and the violence against them overall. This opened up for international recognition of her work and the work to protect specifically the plummeting numbers of gorillas. So by this time, a lot of people knew her name. During this time, as she was building her framework for her research foundation, doing research herself, she obtained a PhD from Cambridge and then was now Dr Dian and continued more research through Cornell University. However, here on Lady History we have to cover the bad or the ugly. And… So… Look at the show notes for more, but I'll just give you the gist of why her as a conservationist wasn't necessarily a great woman. Like the two didn't have to blend. You can be a great conservationist but a shitty human being. Because in the eyes of the local Rwandans, they were often offended by the way she treated them. This is really like, reading this back I feel– I am getting such– just nervousness I– these are not my words, these are hers. So she would kind of call like a group meeting and go down the list of things and she just turned to locals and be like “my Africans.” It's not great. Even if it's like a little bit racist, it’s still racist. There's also instances of people not being paid on time, but I couldn't find concrete evidence more on like the foundation and research headquarters as a whole, because like she obviously, while was the head, she's not the only person in charge of things, like that’s not how like, a budding foundation worked. Many people– this is like a heavily debated topic in the fields of like how much praise do we give her because she had… she was racist at times, and she was discriminatory. But she did make these huge contributions and the lives of like endangered gorillas. She did devote much of her life to protect the “gentle gorillas” as she would call them from the human and environmental hazards. Unfortunately, her life was cut short because on December 26, 1985, she was found hacked to death. And a lot of this was kind of like circumstantial because they have not found the guilty party and prosecuted them for murder, but they believe that she was murdered by poachers at her Rwandan forest camp. Yeah, Alana’s face is dropped. It took a turn.
Lexi: You’ve never seen Gorillas in the Mist?
Alana: No!
Haley: So I watched Gorillas in the Mist, and I get to that, it's in her legacy. But my mom like turned it off or somehow– I don't remember this ending. I didn't remember that she died. And I read it again and I was like racism… Murder!
Lexi: She did that classic mom thing where you turn off the bad part of the movie.
Haley: I really think that’s what happened.
Lexi: I didn’t know there was a second VHS tape to the Sound of Music for twenty years.
(Alana laughing)
Lexi: Because the Nazis! And I’m German, so I wasn’t allowed to know there were Nazis.
Alana: Oh, that’s such a big problem!
Haley: Yeah, yeah. As you all know I like to just add a little bit of the legacy, and her legacy is still living through the Dian Fossey Gorilla Fund International, formerly named the Digit Fund, that's also linked in the show notes. Otherwise the book she wrote in 1983, Gorillas in the Mist, was turned into a movie, as Lexi said, which starred Sigourney Weaver in 1988. I don't know. I'm kind of stuck on this girl, on whether like, I think she's a great– she's definitely not a great human, personally, but like her contributions to science. But I just want to provide all information and be like… and let's respect that she did help the gorillas out, but probably did it in a way that we all cringe now.
(Archival music)
Alana: We've been talking about zookeepers, zoologists, primatologists, you know, that's the theme of the episode. But I feel like we're leaving a key demographic out of this discussion. So my lady for today is Koko the gorilla.
Haley: What?
Alana: Yeah.
Lexi: Fantastic.
Haley: I'm so on board for this.
Alana: Gorilla ladies are ladies.
Haley: I'm speechless
Alana: I’m so glad.
Haley: Bravo. This is fabulous, I’m excited.
Alana: Thank you. I'm also excited. So Koko was born on July 4, 1971 and her full name was Hanabi-ko which means fireworks child. And as I'm saying it I'm realizing that that's a Fourth of July reference… like, fireworks. I just got that. Isn’t that fun. And she was born at the San Francisco Zoo. She was a western lowland gorilla who– they have the best Latin name ever it's gorilla gorilla gorilla. And another woman, Dr Francine “Penny” Patterson, started working with her on sign language in 1972 when Koko was only a year old. And then Dr Patterson started the Gorilla Foundation in the Santa Cruz Mountains in 1979. Koko learned a lot of sign language. She knew at least a thousand signs and probably understood about two thousand words because Dr Patterson would talk while she was signing. And that's about the vocab of a toddler. but also like what are non human animals but toddlers? Because I walk a dog, her name is Missy, I love her very much– if she won't leave the park with me, you do that thing that you do with three year olds– “okay bye Missy”– and you walk towards the gate. And what does she do, every single time, she comes running up to me. I say “bye Missy” then she comes. Really what are animals but toddlers. She had a companion named Michael who was rescued from the jungles of Africa and they were supposed to be a breeding pair because it seemed like Koko really wanted a family, in addition to western lowland gorillas being an endangered species. And that's that whole thing about gorillas getting on airplanes with the keepers and private jets, that we were talking about earlier. They didn't actually end up breeding they just became best friends. Like just best friends and they were playmates and it was very fun. He was also learning sign language and potentially learned how to tell the story of watching his mother get killed by poachers. Which… you can learn a little bit more about that I'll leave a link to that in the show notes. So Michael died of a heart condition that's very common in gorillas, and they brought in a second breeding partner whose name was Ndume... also learned sign language. Koko did get pregnant, but she had a miscarriage and couldn't get pregnant after that. So, similar to Lexi’s lady. So instead they got her kittens. Lexi is so happy about this. This is the best story ever. In 1984– 
Lexi: Kittens… I’m sorry.
Alana: I know!
Lexi: It’s just so cute!
Alana: I know! In 1984 she adopted a kitten named All Ball that she named, by signing, because she apparently loved rhyming words in sign language. And that inspired a book called “Koko's Kitten” and it's a little kids’ book and it's still in elementary schools all over. But then the cat got hit by a car and died, which is too bad. But for her forty fourth birthday, in 2015, they got her two more kittens and she named them Miss Gray and Miss Black because they were gray and black. Here's where the story gets maybe not as fun. In 2005 Koko kind of got Me Too’d? Three employees at the foundation, three other keepers claimed that Koko asked them to lift their shirts and show her their nipples, which Dr Patterson encouraged. They settled out of court, but like they were sued. That is kind of weird, but– and I was a little bit in disbelief– but also Robin Williams, who famously met her in 2001, talked about her doing that to him. It's just– it's jarring. So that's all very Tiger King, except Dr Patterson is actually like a scientist and has published real papers and isn't horrible. When Michael died, Koko actually expressed grief for him, the same thing when Robin Williams died. The Nat Geo article announcing her death, they had a quote from some guy who really had the audacity to talk shit about zoos while they were talking about how Koko died. And this person was like “yeah she did all these cool things for science but also she shouldn’t have been in a zoo.”And I was like oh my god… Let the people mourn an icon. But she is also– Koko herself has had a lasting legacy. She expanded how we think about animals and language. Like humans have to keep adding to the definition of language so that we can exclude how other species communicate. And some people think that she was only mirroring Dr Patterson or Dr Patterson and her associates were projecting, but Koko signed to herself and there's video in a 60 Minutes Australia segment where she's signing to herself. She has a hat, that is a flowered hat, it's a flower bucket hat. It's real cute, it's something baby Alana would absolutely have worn. And so she's signing “flower” and “hat” to herself. She would also invent signs. Like, she didn’t have a word for “ring” so when she saw Dr Patterson wearing a ring, she signed “finger bracelet” which is pretty much what a ring is. So I just think that Koko… it's a lot that we can learn about grief, and how animals express grief, and how we express grief, and how we can communicate with things. Because animals absolutely learn words. Like we teach dogs words. We teach them– you know– sit, stay, all that. So they know some human words. You can teach animals words in whatever language you speak. There's a dog who comes to the park who speaks Spanish. His name is also Coco! I don't think it's the same kind of Koko though, but. Yeah so that's the story of Koko. I'm so glad you guys liked my surprise.
Lexi: I love it. I'm a big nerd about the whole Koko situation because I am a big nerd about animals talking. Linguistic anthropology has always fascinated me, and I think it extends to animals, and a lot of anthropologists don't think it should extend to animals. But I read this book in high school, because I was reading all the books about birds I could possibly find because I had one, I have one still. And the book is called “Alex and Me” and–
Haley: I know that book.
Lexi: The person who is the scientist in that story was inspired by the Koko experiments to do something similar with a bird, and because birds don't have hands, it was vocal- completely vocal communication. And the bird learned to say phrases and even once asked an existential question. So… he asked “what color Alex” which is technically an existential question. And that's how he learned what the color gray was, because he was gray. So that's really interesting that animals do that stuff.
Haley: So my grandparents, I believe I've talked about this before, basically got a male and female cockatiel, started breeding them, and would often give them to their friends as like “hey you're really old, you live alone, here's a friend.” And I remember visiting one of their friends who had one of these birds and the bird would just start talking. And like she taught the bird how to speak, I– at least Spanish, because they're all Spanish speakers. And the bird I think was like a bilingual bird. Because I think he would respond to me and I'd speak English to it. And this bird would just like talk and be like “hello. How are you?” And I just remember as like a small child being like “this bird's talking to me. I thought this was just in movies.”
Lexi: There’s actually a lot of evidence that birds know their names too because parrots, specifically, their moms give each baby a name that's a sound, and while they don't sound like human names, each baby has a sound that is associated with them. So when we raise a parrot in captivity and we call it it's name, it learns it has a name which is–
Haley: Yes.
Lexi: Really, really cool.
Haley: We had them–
Alana: That is amazing.
Haley: –before cockatiels.
Lexi: You can find this podcast on Twitter and Instagram at LadyHistoryPod. Our show notes and a transcript of the show will be on ladyhistory pod dot tumblr dot com. If you like the show, leave us a review and tell your friends, and if you don't like the show, keep it to yourself.
Alana: Our logo is by Alexia Ibarra, you can find her on Instagram and Twitter at LexiBDraws. Our theme music is by me, GarageBand and Amelia Earhart. Lexi is doing the editing. You will not see us, and we will not see you, but you will hear us, next time, on Lady History.
[OUTRO MUSIC]
Haley: Next week on Lady History, it's the witching hour. We’ll be casting a spell on you and discussing some women of witchcraft, women of vampirism you name it, it's spooky season, and we're here to celebrate.
Alana: Dogs are liberal because they love people, cats are liberal because they're smart.
Lexi: Yes. Mhmm. All animals are liberals. 
Haley: I also believe dogs can't be evil.
1 note · View note
fuck-customers · 6 years ago
Text
Holy Shit Buckle Up Y'all
(TW: mentions of transphobia, racism, and self-harm)
A little backstory:
In November we hired three new people to help with our workload around the holidays, and we've kept them on. Two of them are very hard workers, have great personalities, and nice work ethics. The third, who I will be referring to as J.....does not.
She constantly asks to switch shifts instead of putting in for time off or changing her availability (said that its "inconvenient" for her to change it), if you're even a minute late to covering register for her when she's supposed to get off, she'll just abandon the register and clock out and then shop for thirty minutes, and she is constantly walking away from her post bc she's "bored" and "doesn't feel like working" when there are literally people in line.
So about two weeks ago, she scheduled for five days off. Sweet, shes learning. She then proceeds to call off the day before her five days and the day after. So now she has a week off. Dick move, but I can't say no one has done it before.
Her scheduled day back is a Wednesday. She texts one of my coworkers, P, and asks her to take her shifts for Wednesday AND Thursday. P agrees because she wants more hours, but all of us, including the managers, are irritated now. This is now nine days off she's gotten.
On Wednesday, I got a text from her asking if I could take her shift Friday. Now as of this point, I've been sick all week - hacking my lungs out, not able to breathe, but working bc we're short staffed (bc of her) and bc I need the money. I had Friday and Saturday off for the first time in MONTHS so no way in hell was I gonna take it. I just said no, firmly.
She continues to pester me, asking why, since I don't work Friday I should be able to, etc, and I kind of snapped:
Tumblr media
Which, okay, maybe I shouldn't have snapped like that. But I was exhausted and frustrated and so sick of her getting to do this that I just couldn't take it anymore. I expected her to call me a bitch and then ignore me but hoooooo boy nope. (Names are blacked out) (and if this many photos aren't allowed feel free to delete this submission)
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
First of all, the racism comment:
She was buying cigarettes and even though shes a coworker, I have to ID her bc she's 19 and I can get fired for that shit. She told me she had lost her ID and asked to just put her birthday in. My manager said it was fine, so I did, and I made the offhanded comment about how she should get a new one so she didn't get pulled over by a racist dick while driving. We live in an area where the cops just looovvve to profile people (if you know Ohio, you know where) and I'd had that conversation with so many of my friends that I didn't even think about it, I was just concerned about her getting home safely to her kid. She didn't react negatively at the time, just said "oh I didn't think about that, thanks" and we moved on. If she had really had an issue with it she would have spoken to our managers, so clearly she's only bringing it up now to scare me. I just.....I mean obviously if I am being racist I want someone to tell me so I can fix my actions, but I didn't even think that came off that way in the moment. Maybe I was out of line, but the same thing has happened recently to my 16 year old cousin (he's fine dw) and so its been on my mind.
Second, no, I am not a manager. But aside from four other employees, two of which only work part time, I am one of the oldest members of staff (time wise, not age wise, I'm 23). So the managers put me in charge of a lot of shit, which means that I end up being in charge of people. Which apparently she did not like.
And third no, I do not have a kid. I'm not married, I don't have a partner, and I barely have the income to make half of rent with my roommate sometimes. I would not bring a child into this world if I could help it, and it pissed me off that she would imply that if I had a child, I'd be more mature. I wanted to scream at her and tell her that if having a kid makes you more mature, it clearly didn't work for her. I feel so bad for her kid; he's like two, and she's already constantly using him as an excuse for not doing things and not going to work. She lives with her mom and her boyfriend, so she has a support system (her mom is retired, and a very sweet lady). Like again, I don't have a kid, but all my coworkers who do don't pull this shit ever.
Anyway
I was physically shaking by the end of these texts, crying, because I HATE when people yell at me, especially when they know me IRL. And especially cause she was accusing me of some nasty shit. I sent them all to my manager in the least professional set of texts I'd ever written and then two hours later had to go to work.
My depression was up, my anxiety was through the roof, and as soon as our floater manager asked me if I was okay I burst into tears again. I showed her and the closing manager the texts and they were both appalled but then
They fucking started trying to "comfort" me by making racist comments!!! "Oh, thats just what her people are like" "you know she grew up in the ghetto part of town" "that girl is straight up hood" like!!!!
I was furious. I was so mad it wasn't funny, but they're my MANAGERS and i need this job and they're both old, so they don't think what they're saying is wrong. I tried desperately to derail it by saying things like "where she grew up had nothing to do with it" but they just kept going and I just....that made it so much worse tbh I just walked out of the office to do my fucking job.
A couple hours later, right as I've started to calm down, one of my coworkers started making really transphobic comments about one of our old coworkers who I'm still friends with, deadnaming her, saying that she's allowed to deadname her bc its part of her religion, etc etc.
Y'all I just....walked behind the photo counter and had a fucking meltdown on the floor. I dragged myself to the pharmacy to get their trash so I had SOMETHING to focus on and as soon as I got there the tech took one look at me and held out her arms and I just lost it again.
I go to my manager and basically just ask to do trash and go home. I was supposed to close, and I have left early only once in my life, when we were too dead to need me, but I had just mentally had it. I knew that if I didn't leave in that moment I wasn't going to make it to the end of the night without hurting myself.
She agreed, I finished trash, and got one of my friends to come pick me up.
My GM texts me the next morning (Thursday) and says she's giving me PTO for the hours I didn't work Wednesday night and for my day off on Friday. I almost cried again bc I was so stressed about the money.
Fast forward to a week later, today, and J still has a job, but she has now also called off 16 days in a row. Claiming she's still stuck in Texas with her kid (which was why she was asking to trade shifts last week).
I don't know how much longer my GM can hold out before firing her. I really don't.
Tldr; coworker asks me to take a shift for the hundredth time after calling out for a week, I say no (albeit a bit rudely), they start screaming at me via text, and I have a mental breakdown.
215 notes · View notes
changji · 6 years ago
Note
(1/6 jeez) Skdjf stepping on a puddle of spit?? I feel like I’d just avoid going into the room and be like “can’t we practice somewhere else pls” but oof that’s so nasty… the spit gets absorbed into the carpet too *shudders*. “From down here” I’m crying that’s so funny I’d be judging ppl from up here. My sleep schedule’s so messed as well but it’s not as bad as yours omg idk how I’d function on 3 hours of sleep without being absolutely grumpy when I wake up
(2/6) Mosquitos literally have no point of existing… like they don’t help with any ecosystems or anything,, they’re just here to freaking leech off of ppl. I have a friend who puts on 120923 lbs of sunscreen whenever we go out and it’s so funny bc she usually forgets to rub a spot on her face and boom she’s Rudolph but with a white nose. They add lost school days at the end? That’s so whack I hate that. At least you can go to the beach tho
(3/6) I mean there’s some here where I live but they’re absolutely filthy and disgusting no one wants to go in the water 😩 also napping in the sun,, what a mood. Ugh ur guard captain can be gone this is petty drama that’d happen in like,,, the sixth grade LMAO. I drink way too much coffee for it to be healthy, I blame school for my caffeine addiction. I’m even drinking one now as I’m typing this whooops. What kind of job are you thinking about getting?
(4/6) Omg I’m so clumsy too,, like it’s not even funny how many times I trip or stub my toe or fall. Last night I was walking home from my grandma’s and the two seconds I wasn’t looking at the ground to see where I was walking my foot fell into a dip on the ground and I almost fell over. Oh there’s even one time where I fell into a hole filled with cement,, not my brightest moment. Fun fact I didn’t even like maple syrup until this year LOL
(5/6) Montréal is such a fun place I went there for an 8th grade grad trip and we went around the city which was so fun and cool. Dw I’m also terrible at geography,, in grade 9 my friend and I were trying to think of all the provinces and territories of Canada and we were one province short,,, we were like ??? what are we missing we can’t possibly be missing anything
(6/6) Then we turned to this smart person in our class and we asked them and they were like “u forget Alberta”. I’ve never felt so Dumb in my life before how could I forget Alberta LOL. Victoria seems cool ugh i need to visit BC 😩😩 I’ve been to more places outside of Canada than provinces/territories here wtf. Also my day's been pretty good so far! How has yours been?
-
i hate practicing in the band room it’s disgusting and makes me wanna yeet myself off a building. i’m pretty sure they do deep cleaning on the carpet everyday bc of this but like. still. nasty hoes. i got used to my sleeping schedule hhh but when i wake up i take showers in the morning so that helps,,
MOSQUITOES SHOULD DIE. it’s like mini vampires except i’d rather be bitten by a vampire. but not i’m not abt to have two holes on the side of my neck for life. sunscreen is like my life saver,, rudolph tho omg that probably hurts like a bitch ugh but yeah school days st the end of the year so if it’s okay that they never cancel school 😔
the beach is fun but like, i go pretty often that it’s always the same thing. i live in the suburban area so we have to drive a little bit it’s not that far. our guard captain is petty in just like. not for this bullshit so imma not. i love coffee 🤧 so much like if i don’t have some in a day i get grumpy. i had some earlier but i finished it and i already want more. what kinda coffee do u normally get? if ur a hot coffee person istg- also i’m not sure but i was thinking one of the two grocery stores by my house or the ice cream place,,,, whatever’s hiring LOL
ppl are like “oMg uR TrYna bE cuTe aNd acT cLumSy buT iTs nOt wOrKinG” like okay bitch ever think i was born w two left feet (omg,,, birks knew). are u okay tho? didn’t hurt urself rt bc if u did i would punch u in the nicest way possible 😤 i’m stuck with that fake crap from walmart til i get the good shit in canada ughhhh
there’s an accent on montréal i’m so uncultured, everywhere in canada is cute, america just Sucks. THATS ME TOO THO UGH they’re like “name all the states” and it’s like? hello? there are 50 i’m not that smart? and my friend just named all of them like a nerd. but whatever go off ig 🙄 victoria was cool i wanted to explore more but we had limited time. i’ve been to a lot of out of country places, tbh i don’t think i’ve been to a lot of places in america,,,
my day was good! i got peet’s aka the place superior to starbucks and my cousin paid for me so ☺️ i told myself i wanna gonna write today but instead i spent hella time drawing and i’m almost finished so! that’s good
1 note · View note