#also I find it funny that Mary can’t sing I was wondering about her but she does non-musical theatre

[poebrey]

hate that the closest thing we’re getting to a musical episode of discovery is the carpool karaoke episode and that one scene where they sing space oddity

[douxspider]

— 𝐩𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. (2)

‘ARVIN RUSSELL x READER INSERT’

( spoilers for “the devil all the time” ) —  After befriending the bloodied blue-capped boy in the cafe Reader works at, a friendship blossoms between the two. However, unfortunate circumstances occur, and no one’s really sure how to feel about anything anymore.

+ this is the second part to peachy keen! (ao3 link)

warnings: implied/referenced suicide, hurt/comfort, grieving word count: 3,575 published: 9/21/20 ao3 link — part 1, 3

— — • — —

“Ellie, sweetie, don’t touch that.”

You were working behind the counter, rubbing raw dough and flour off on your apron, rushing around the shop to tend to the various customers. While specializing in baked treats, you were the main mistress, while Marilyn focused on baking and cooking up breakfast and lunch for eager customers.

Elaine Beck, a sweet girl of eight years, had recently been fostered by Marilyn. Marilyn, when not focusing on Elaine’s schoolwork, would bring her to the shop to watch over her.

You loved children, dearly, but it was difficult having a sweet-obsessed child in a bakery where the goods could easily be yanked. You find yourself aging more and more every time you told Elaine to keep her hands to herself.

Eyeing the clock, you rolled your bottom lip with your teeth, staring out the window before Marilyn caught your attention, pulling out crepes for a frequent suit-clad visitor. “Time goes slower when you’re staring at the hands, sweetpea.”

“Sorry,” you mumbled, shaking your head as you organized dollar bills into the register. “I didn’t mean to seem like I’m impatient for my lunch off�� I’m just…”

A hand caressed your shoulder, and Marilyn pulled you in to kiss your head, you groaning shortly after and wiping the back of your wrist against your forehead. “Mary! Your red lipstick never gets off!”

Marilyn gave a hearty laugh, ruffling your done-up hair. “Y’er a sweet thing, sunshine. He’s gonna be here, and you two are gonna have fun on your lil’ church date.”

“It’s not a date,” you emphasized, crouching to pull out the baked muffins, “No one goes to church for a date. I asked to come with to hear about that strange preacher.”

The older woman placed a hot coffee in front of a woman, who doused it in sugar, returning to you with a conflicted expression. “Well, I don’t want you stirrin’ up trouble, sweetpea. You’re important around here. You’re important to me.” She smiled at you, hazel eyes shiny with worry. “Don’t want you getting involved in shady business ‘cause of some boy…”

You stared at her, cocking your head idly towards the back, and she sighed and you both made your way there. “What’s your problem with Russell?” You could not imagine Arvin having bad intentions for you. It had been about a month or so since he had come in that rainy afternoon, and since then being in Ohio hasn’t seemed that bad. He had made no moves or adjustments towards you that were defined as uncomfortable.

“Nothin’, nothin’, he’s a sweet boy. Conflicted, but sweet,” she continued, “Y’ain’t wanna be caught up with those who be unsure of themselves…” Marilyn trailed off, wiping her hands with a cloth that had pies stitched onto it, “Goin’ to church ain’t like you, darling, I don’t want you to be changin’ yourself. You’re good just the way you are and don’t let no fool of a man or lass tell ‘ya otherwise. If this boy makes you happy—”

Interrupting, you said, “It has nothing to do with… with romantics, ma’am. I want to have faith,” you mumbled as you turned away from her, pretending to be busy with cleaning silverware. “I want to believe. I want to have a friend.”

Silence fell, and Marilyn gave you a smile with the fruit red lips of hers. “M’kay, darling. You won me over.”

Grinning at her, the bell jingled, and you peered over to see Arvin walking in, tipping a hat to Elaine, who was bouncing in her booth and talking to him excitedly.

Marilyn moved forward, and you leaned back, holding your hands up. “No kisses.”

She sighed, amused, and gave you a bear hug instead.

You pulled your apron off and hung it up before exiting the backroom and curving around the corner, smiling at Arvin, who met your eye and returned the gesture.

“Nice to see ‘ya on this beautiful Sunday,” you spoke up, swiping the sleeves of your dress.

Arvin’s expression softened, and he moved his hand up to your forehead, catching you by surprise. His thumb rolled over your forehead, wiping at it twice before raising his eyebrows, “I’m guessing sweet ol’ Marilyn McCann didn’t let’cha go without a cherrybomb kiss of hers.” He revealed the red stain on his thumb, and you whipped your head back to see Marilyn giving a knowing smirk at you before fixing up dishes. You looked back to him.

“Thank you for that… I would’ve been so embarrassed walking into a church with that on my face,” you sighed.

“Not a problem.”

“Don’t be gone too long, sissy!” You both looked over to see Elaine pouting at you, “I wan’ my icecream. You promised.”

“I did. I will do just that for you, baby,” you said, poking her nose. “If Mary says you behaved, you’ll get an extra scoop with any topping you want. How’s that?”

“Good!”

Exiting the premises, him holding the door open for you politely. Thanking him under your breath, you walked down the sidewalk towards his car.

“New dress?” He gestured to your fit and you looked down at it before smiling.

“Indeed. You give me such hefty tips,” you pointed out, bumping your shoulder with his, his ears turning pinker while avoiding eye contact with you purposefully. “I also needed to dress nice for church.”

Arvin rubbed the back of his neck as he opened the front door for you. “Well, I don’t really want much. Mind as well give the favor onto someone else.”

Once you both settled into the car, Arvin opened with another conversation. “How’s lil’ Elaine holding up? She seemed chipper than ever in there.”

The car started, and you pondered about the sweet girl. She was only fostered because both of her parents managed to go missing, dropping the young thing at Marilyn’s to be babysat and vanishing. “I don’t know. She hardly ever mentions her parents. I don’t think she remembers them at all, she calls me ‘sissy’ and Mary ‘mama.’ I don’t even live with them.”

“You seem to be the kinda sis that spoils,” Arvin pointed out with a grin, causing a feigned offended gasp from you. “Two scoops of icecream for such a tiny thing? She’ll explode. Poor girl.”

You shrugged. “Keeps her little fingers out of the pies.”

The radio played a sweet Paul Anka song, Puppy Love. You swayed to the beat very slightly.

—You'll be back (you'll be back)... 

“So uh… why church, Y/N?”

...in my arms (in my arms)...

Glancing at him, you shrugged. “Why not? I want to see what the rage about that preacher is about.” Arvin winced at this.

Once again...

Arvin licked his lips very slightly, eyeing the rearview mirror before returning his eyes to the road. “Y’told me you’re no girl of faith. No loony preacher is worth that.”

Someone help me, help me please. Is the answer, is it up above?

“I also said I’d do it if God brought me something good,” you pointed out, leaning towards him with a finger up. You then leaned your shoulder against the door, staring out the window, saying carefully, “And he did. I keep my promises.”

How can I, oh how can I ever tell them?

“This is not a puppy love…” you sang under your breath, turning your head to look at Arvin, whose glance quickly skewed back to the road. “Do you like this song?” You asked.

Arvin shrugged, quirking his lips up. “I uh… I’m not really a music guy.”

You blinked, raising your eyebrows. “Not a music guy? Hm, that’s fair.”

“Can’t really relate with all they sing about,” Arvin explained, “usually ‘bout God or a lover leavin’ them. Not my interest.”

Now, some backstory. You wouldn’t let this opportunity go to waste.

“Are you implying the one and only Arvin Russell has never had an inamorata?” You grinned, placing your cheek against your palm.

Arvin rolled his eyes. “Nah, don’t be actin’ like that, Y/N.”

“Is that a yes?”

“It’s a ‘I’ve been too busy carin’ for my family to even think about messin’ around with a pretty face,’” he corrected, tilting his head at you. “That’s all.”

You felt yourself grow concerned and conflicted instead of amused. Biting the inside of your cheek, you don’t know if this man had any hobbies that didn’t include beating up assholes that hurt his poor sister. You scratched at the nape of your neck before deciding to speak up, plopping your hand in your lap. “Arvin, is there anything you’ve done just for fun and not just because your family compelled you to? Anything for yourself?”

Arvin looked at you, his eyes round, tightening his grip on the wheel. “I’ve… ah…” he pondered before his face turned more red, and you started to wonder what exactly was going on in his head. Was it something… illegal? Or shameful in the eyes of the town’s Lord? “...I go to the bakery to see you. For myself.”

...Well. You pinched your dress, clenching your teeth together and looking at the road.

“I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, if— if you are, I just—”

“You were the good thing God gave me,” you spoke up suddenly, squeezing your eyes shut, “That’s why I’m going to church. You… you’re the good thing that makes me want to have faith,” you explained, catching him from the corner of his eye, seeing a distant look on his face.

You gave a laugh and half-heartedly shrugged your shoulders. “Now we evened each other’s uncomfortable comments out,” you playfully spoke. “So… no worries.”

Arvin pulled into a long yard while the car slowed into a long drawl. With this, he looked at you, and gave a smile that showed his white teeth.

“I think you’re a funny girl, Y/N.”

—

The preaching was over, and everyone was left outside, mostly indulging in conversation. It was a nice day out— sunny, clouds dotting the skyline, a sweet breeze to ease the baring sun. You were currently trapped in a conversation with a rather old lady who was very prominent in getting to know the citygirl.

You mentioned Manhattan and purposefully avoided your roots regarding wealth and your orphan status. Luckily, you didn’t need to speak much, the lady named Darla was more than eager to give her thoughts on everything.

“The new pastor, Teagardin, he’s a sweet man ain’t he?” She smiled, wringing her hands together, “If I were younger…”

You paled at the implication, giving a nervous smile. “He seems like a sweet man.”

“I’d sure hope so.” You turned around to see Preston Teagardin approach you with a smile. “How do you do, miss? Haven’t seen you here before.”

You nodded. “It’s my first time going to this church.”

Preston tilted his head only slightly. “Is that so? Can I catch your name?”

“Y/N.”

He licked his lips, looking at the old lady and raising his brows to give a friendly, polite expression. “Y/N, ain’t that a pretty name, Darla?” Darla nodded. “Well, Y/N, I wanna see you around here more often. Having a fresh face other than mine in this church is sure nice.”

“Regardless of my city heritage?” You decided to tease. While the comment was meant to be lighthearted, a growing resentment was laced behind your words, exhausted from the odd treatment from townspeople.

Preston gave a small laugh underneath his breath. “Nothin’ wrong with being born urban.” He looked at you, and you heard your name. Glancing to your side, Arvin was approaching, a ginger girl at his side.

The ginger girl made eye contact with Preston, and she quickly shied away from it. You paid it no mind, but it was definitely something that would become relevant later on, you’re sure. 

“This is my sister, Lenora,” Arvin spoke up, and you watched his eyes lock onto the priest’s for a moment. Preston walked away.

Lenora looked at you and gave a simper. “Hi, Y/N. Arvin’s talked about you…”

Arvin pursed his lips. “Lenora—”

“No, it’s okay,” you said, amused at the sister-brother banter. “He’s mentioned you before Lenora. I hear you like to read, care to give me a checklist of books sometime?”

Lenora lit up. “That… yeah, I can do just that. Right when I get home, I will.”

You smiled. Arvin cleared his throat, placing his hands in his pockets as he spoke to his sister, “Lenora, why don’t you check on grandma?” Lenora scurried off. When the two of you were alone, Arvin then murmured to you, “Y’don’t have to do anythin’ you don’t want to, Y/N. I know Lenora ain’t the most bright in the bunch, but—”

“I’ve been where she was,” you murmured to him, watching his gaze slowly fall from Lenora’s retreating figure to yours, brown eyes suffused golden beneath the luminous sun. “It’s all right. I actually do like reading, Arvin.” Arvin’s lips moved to the side of his face. Taking in his features, you felt your heart race a bit at what you were contemplating on doing, but you did it regardless. Your hand moved from your side to bury your fingers in his hair, grinning while feeling the slick strands against your skin. “It’s weird seeing you without that hat on.”

Arvin slumped a bit, attempting to swat your hand away. “Alright, alright, I get it,” he sighed. Though, from the look on his face, he was heavily entertained. “I know. I’ll put the cap back on.”

“No,” you spoke up. Your hand survived Arvin’s waving and ruffled the hair, loose strands cascading the frame of his face. “I like it.”

The boy you were endlessly teasing gawked at you while a bashful expression crossed his features. He sucked on his tongue before murmuring, “...That’s… ah, thank you.”

Glancing at your clock, your eyebrows raised. “I have to go. Lunch break is over… was over two minutes ago.”

Arvin gave a sheepish curve of his lips. “I’ll drive ‘ya home.”

The drive back was lighter than the drive there, until the new priest was mentioned. “Y’don’t trust that preacher guy, do you?” Arvin’s voice was bitter.

“...He seems…” you started, wincing, “I’m not sure. He’s a confident man, I’ll say that. I don’t know much about him to make a judgement.”

Arvin stopped the car in front of the diner. It was abrupt, sudden, and it took you by surprise. Your eyes traveled over to your friend who seemed to be seething underneath his skin. “Arvin?” You asked quietly.

A few glances towards you and he finally decided to face you with a lack of a smile. “S’all fine. You’re late, go do your work.”

Unable to correlate words with your sudden concern over his state of mind, you didn’t bother to acknowledge anything. “Okay…” you murmured, stepping out of the car, giving a wave to Arvin who only nodded his head towards you and drove off.

You watched his car vanish into the distance of the town. Wind blew past you, petting at your bare shins, and you rubbed your upper arm before hearing muffled crashing within the shop and a very harsh command of ‘Ellie!”.

—

The day Lenora died was quiet.

People weren’t rushing to the church, rushing to the Russell household, rushing down the streets, no one was rushing anywhere. It was a quiet day. The streets were more bare than usual, but perhaps it was only a lazy Sunday where nothing really mattered aside from church, the one day Lenora had not gone.

Watching her body fade into the ground wrapped snug in a casket, you felt the paper in your dress shuffle with the wind, scribbles of book titles Lenora suggested you before her untimely death.

Brave enough to glance in Arvin’s direction, too shy to cock your head, you noticed his mouth fit into a tight line, eyes swollen but with no sign of tears. It seems like he has already cried his fair share. Grandma Emma was weeping, her shoulders shaking as her brother held them.

The sun had gone dark, and you sat on a bench with Arvin, who had shared little to no words with you the entire day. Cars would woosh past and it seemed like the entire world was rotating just the same without the dear, sweet step-sister of Russell. The story had been tense, a little too much for you, the superstition that she was pregnant with the priest’s baby and had been encouraged to take it out, even at the cost of her life.

You gave a shaky exhale while the night’s frozen air pricked at your bare skin.

“You don’t need to be with me, Y/N,” Arvin’s accent-heavy voice murmured from the right of you, “I’m alright.”

That’s a load of bullshit. You knew that. You knew nothing about this was okay. You’d heard about Arvin’s parents before, you didn’t need anything more to know that this was opening some deep wounds the boy had thought he had stitched closed a long time ago.

“No, you’re not,” you replied.

There was nothing said after that. Arvin didn’t even look at you with an incredulous expression or open his mouth to disagree. There was no movement, no anything, as the world continued to turn, the stars continuing to move above the two of you.

It seemed unfair. It was unfair that the world kept moving.

You pulled out the list of books she had recommended you. Her handwriting was surely girlish, curly with hearts for dots, but it was perfect for her type of character. Lenora was a good girl. You felt your thumb trail against the ink stains. You didn’t know her too well, you’d be exaggerating your pain if you said this was the worst thing to happen to you, but it was definitely a loss on the town’s behalf, and most importantly, Arvin’s behalf.

“She was lonely.” Looking over, you saw Arvin staring down at your lap where the somewhat crinkled paper was.  “She never defied her faith, Y/N. She was just lonely.”

Her fidelity was admirable. Some part of you knew Arvin wasn’t talking to you, though, more so at. You gave a nod at him, his sad eyes meeting up with yours, and you knew at that moment his heart had been broken into a million pieces. You heard him sniffle and the street lamps reflected the water building at the top of his lower eyelids. He moved his bruised knuckles underneath his nose and you were a witness to his throat closing on itself.

This wasn’t bold. This was a peace offering. You moved to wrap your arms around his shoulders, pulling him close to you in a hug.

Arvin was frozen still, tense underneath your hold, halting in his breath. You didn’t care if you were breaking boundaries. You didn’t care if this was something he said he didn’t need. You needed it, too, you needed to see him recover.

Unbeknownst to you, he would actually consider all the little possibilities with this hug. His arms wrapped around your waist as he buried his face against the crook of your neck. You could hear quiet struggling exhales and wetness seeping into your dress. You didn’t care for the dress.

This wasn’t a grown man crying, you noticed. This was a little boy. The way he squeezed against you, lightly rubbing his nose against your skin and giving off quiet whimpers of defeat. The world had wronged him too much. You didn’t know everything, but it felt like the tears falling from his face had infinite knowledge that you didn’t need to be told. This wasn’t the first tragedy for Arvin. For him, he most likely believed it was just another dot on the list of infinite sadness.

“Arvin,” you were quiet to say, “come to my place. It’s quiet. Let me drive.”

Arvin had no disagreements. He was in no mindset to put on his tough façade. You drove the two of you to your apartment, never leaving Arvin’s side as you both stepped up the stairs and unlocked the door.

You didn’t really know what to do from there. You both watched television on your cheap furniture, and as the night went on and mindless conversations passed between the both of you, Arvin had gotten closer. His eyes were sore and at the most random moments you could see a tear roll down his cheek. He gave no reaction to it.

“I’m tired,” Arvin breathed from beside you.

You stared at the television while leaning against the couch’s arm. “That’s fine. I can show you to my room, if you’d like to lay on the bed—”

A presence was prominent beside you. You felt Arvin lean against you and rest his head on your shoulder. “The couch is fine,” he whispered. “This is fine.”

In any other circumstance, you know Arvin would’ve never put you in this position. Though, you didn’t mind this, not at all, keeping in mind you knew he just needed a comforting presence after Lenora. You were more than eager to be his anchor however.

Moving your hand up to his capless head, finding your fingers carding through his smooth hair, you continued to watch the television in silence. This is fine, you repeated in your head. It’s going to be fine.

[meta-squash]

Brick Club 2.3.8 “Inconveniences Of Entertaining A Poor Man Who May Be Rich”

This chapter is so long. Here goes.

Is it normal for Cosette to have to knock to get into the house she lives in? Or is Hugo just using that as a vehicle to make Mme Thenardier meet Valjean first?

It’s times like this that I desperately wish I knew more about biblical stories and fables and things. This, a rich man in disguise as a poor man being treated poorly by innkeepers and taking something from them, sounds like a bible story or a similar type of fable. But the only two bible stories I know with similar themes are the nativity story and Sodom and Gomorrah and neither of those seem quite right. Still, this entire episode reads like a fable or fairytale.

We’ve already seen how Evil the Thenardiers are re: their treatment of Cosette. Now we are seeing their Evil in the form of treatment of the poor.

You know, that’s an interesting thing that I’m not going to get into in this longass chapter. Javert’s evil and Thenardier’s evil are different because I feel like Javert’s evil is a lot more muddied or obscured by morality and duty and things like that. Where are the Thenardiers are bad but the badness of their actions is much more black and white. I think it’s also because, technically, they never have social power over anyone unless they are manipulative, whereas Javert always has the social power. I’m not sure where to go with either of these ideas but I will look back on it for a shorter chapter.

Cosette is ugly because she’s sad. It’s like the exact opposite of Roald Dahl’s description of ugliness. I called it on the orphanage thing and kids looking years younger than they are; she looks 6 when she’s 8. That doesn’t seem like a huge difference when you look at it written down but the difference between the size and maturity of a 6 year old vs an 8 year old is surprising.

In the way that the description of the doll was a distant echo of young Fantine, the description of Cosette here is a faded echo of dying Fantine.

“Fear was spread all over here; she was, so to speak, covered with it; fear squeezed her elbows against her sides, drew her heels up under her skirt, made her shrink into the least possible space...” I’m sure this description comes from Hugo observing children in his lifetime, but I also wonder if any of this comes from his brother who had schizophrenia and was institutionalized?

“The expression on the face of this child of eight was habitually so sad and occasionally so tragic that it seemed, at certain moments, as if she were on the way to becoming an idiot or a demon.” What an interesting pair of choices. Fear and sadness either stun and numb you completely or they turn you aggressive and evil. Hugo said the same thing before when talking about Valjean’s prison time. Again, like I said before, Cosette here is Valjean when we first met him: exhausted, scared, sad, numb, hatefully terrified of the people around her; the difference is that she still has hope. She had that moment of hoping someone would rescue her, she had the moment of pausing and wondering what the doll’s paradise was like; when we met Valjean he was past that kind of hope.

(Funny that Mme Thenardier doesn’t suspect the trick Valjean just pulled, despite Valjean “finding” a 20 sous piece instead of 15 sous piece.)

I love the description of Eponine and Azelma because it’s so innocent. They as little human beings aren’t morally bankrupt at the level of their parents yet. They’re still pretty and glowing. Partly because they are well-cared for unlike Cosette, and partly because they are still innocent.

“Eponine and Azelma did not notice Cosette. To them she was like the dog. The three little girls did not have twenty-four years among them, and they already represented the whole of human society: on one side envy, on the other disdain.”

Ah, human microcosms. Hugo loves those. The Thenardier children and Cosette are the pared down, simplified version of society. It’s also an excellent example of how Privilege works in layers. The girls’ doll is worn and old and broken, but the fact of them having a real doll and Cosette having nothing is already a layer of privilege Someone else, another little girl with wealthy parents and a new intact doll would have privilege over the Thenardier girls. There are layers.

I really love this passage too because it shows the start of the zero-sum game between Eponine and Cosette. At no point are Eponine and Cosette able to be equals. But the important thing is that neither of them are aware of this. Later, when Cosette and Eponine encounter each other again in the Gorbeau house, Eponine doesn’t have the awareness to be angry about the reversal of their fortunes. She seems sad, mostly, a jealousy born from a feeling of worthlessness rather than feeling slighted. And Cosette doesn’t even recognize Eponine, so there’s no room at all for disdain on her part, unless she’s disdainful of Eponine et al due to their poverty, though that never seems to be the case. But Eponine cannot be happy while Cosette is and Cosette cannot be happy while Eponine is, because their goals occupy the same fulcrum (Marius) and they can’t both be on the same level at the same time.

Fanfiction has explored this a lot in modern AU but I wonder the kind of havoc that could have been wreaked had Cosette and Eponine met and become proper acquaintances. Their teenage personalities are two sides of the same coin. I’ve always been of the opinion that had they switched places as children Cosette would have ended up like Eponine and Eponine like Cosette. Because Eponine has the capacity for kindness within her, except that she doesn’t know how to use it selflessly; and Cosette has the same stubborn ruthlessness as Eponine, except that she is held back by convention and reduced to talking a lot in order to try and somehow glean information from Valjean or Marius.

“Now your work belongs to me. Play, my child.” This is the second (or third?) Myriel moment for Valjean. Cosette is a child, an innocent child, but her soul doesn’t need to be bought for god. As far as I can tell, for Hugo, children are always holy. Instead, he’s buying her work. But that makes sense. For Valjean, his soul needed to be bought for god because he had already lost it to sin and to evil and to doubt. Cosette still has hope; what she needs bought from her is suffering.

And here is where the parallel continues. Cosette up until now has been Valjean as we first met him: sullen, suffering, scared, dulled, close to becoming “an idiot or a demon” and now, like Valjean’s soul, her work has been bought so she can be free.

I think it is within the walls of the convent that their parallels will catch up to each other and they will become more equal.

I feel as though the cat in a dress vs the sword in a dress must be some sort of parallel to Eponine and Cosette’s personalities but I’m not quite sure how to pull the meaning out.

“A little girl without a doll is almost as unfortunate and just as impossible as a woman without children.” Ugh. Gross, Hugo. This whole chapter was so lovely and then this misogynist bullshit.

I can explain the “water on her brain” line! Mostly because it’s a medical condition I actually have! So, “water on the brain” is another term for hydrocephalus, which is a buildup of cerebrospinal fluid in the ventricles of the brain. It can be caused by being born prematurely (like mine was) or by infections/head trauma. Nowadays they can put a shunt in your head that pumps the fluid into the abdominal cavity (which is what I have), but obviously they didn’t have the technology back then. So what happens to the head if the fluid doesn’t drain, is the head will start to increase in size, and the fluid buildup will squish the brain against the sides of the skull, causing seizures and brain damage/intellectual disabilities and vision problems and other such things. I function perfectly fine except for mild dyscalculia and ADHD (which might have been genetic anyway) but back in the 19th century hydrocephalus probably would have resulted in either mild-to-severe disabilities or death.

Cosette doesn’t have hydrocephalus, but what she does have is severe malnutrition, which can make a person’s head look much too large for their body. So Mme Thenardier is likely using Cosette’s appearance due to neglect to fake that she has a neurological problem and explain why they have to “take care of” her.

Jesus fucking christ this next bit is so much. There’s so much going on. Mme Thenardier is talking to Valjean about Cosette’s mother, the drinkers are singing vulgar songs about the Virgin Mary and baby Jesus, and Cosette is under the table singing “My mother is dead.” to herself. Woof. It is, yet again, an instance of the memory of “Fantine” (in the symbolic, saintly form of the Virgin) being sullied both by the foul songs of the drinkers and the callous, flippant commentary of Mme Thenardier. And Cosette is there under the table, staring at the fire, suddenly playing the role of her own mother, rocking the sword-baby (herself) to try and comfort herself from the shock of this new knowledge that her mother is dead.

(Anyone else read As I Laying Dying, by the way? All I could think of when I read that line was “My mother is a fish.”)

We start to see Cosette’s bold personality come out in fits and starts. She’s brave enough to sneak out and grab the doll Eponine and Azelma have abandoned. But it’s also an example of how desperate she is for something pleasurable and good, considering she’s doing that at the risk of a beating.

For the second time, we see Cosette so absorbed in her moment of “I Want” that she doesn’t see or hear anything else. Again, this seems unusual considering her constant hypervigilance. But her success in getting the doll and her increased confidence due to Valjean’s presence probably have something to do with her lack of awareness.

Cosette is caught with the doll. Is this the parallel of Valjean being caught with Myriel’s silver? Mme Thenardier says “That beggar has dared to touch the children’s doll.” The gendarmes don’t say as much when they return Valjean to Myriel, but it’s pretty obvious they’re thinking something similar.

“We are forced to add that at that moment she stuck out her tongue.” COSETTE IS SO CUTE I LOVE HER SO MUCH SHE DESERVES THE WORLD. Also I just love the way Hugo writes children, it’s so real.

Why did Hugo choose Catherine for the name of the doll? Is it to do with St Catherine? She (the saint) became Christian at 14 and converted hundreds of people before being martyred at 18 after rebuking the Roman emperor for his cruelty and winning a debate with his best philosophers.

“This solitary man, so poorly dressed, who took five-franc pieces from his pocket so easily and lavished gigantic dolls on little brats in wooden clogs, was certainly a magnificent and formidable individual.” Valjean is now Myriel. Outsiders are fascinated by him because he dresses so shabbily and yet is so benevolent and charitable with his money. Again, the difference is that Myriel’s name is always known, and Valjean’s is never known.

I know I say this so often but the distance with which Hugo treats Valjean is absolutely fascinating to me. Valjean has this incredible power to just go inside himself and not move, but we never get that kind if internality unless it’s really really important (like with the Champmathieu affair). Otherwise, Hugo keeps a respectful distance, and even when we get Valjean’s emotions described to us, I feel like Hugo is always holding back a little, like he’s not letting himself see all the way into Valjean, or Valjean isn’t letting him in.

Valjean asks for a stable; I think this is the first time we see his whole thing about sacrifice of physical comfort. Things like this asking for the stable and sleeping in the shed behind the house at Rue Plumet and not having chairs and only eating black bread etc. This is the first example we see of him feeling unworthy of physical comforts to such a degree.

(It’s interesting to me that we don’t see this characteristic when he was mayor, or at least not to this extreme. Is it because it would be unbecoming of a mayor and therefore would blow his cover? Or did going back to prison hammer in that feeling of worthlessness and lesser-than and warp his perception of what he is compared to others?)

“What a sublime, sweet thing is hope in a child who has never known anything but its opposite!” We’ve said this already, but Cosette is full of hope and life and light and that is Important because it is exactly what Valjean did not have when he was in her position. But it means that she doesn’t have to work as hard in her ascent towards happiness and goodness.

And, lastly, I love that the placement of the gold Louis in Cosette’s shoe isn’t just a sweet Christmas gesture or a gesture towards Cosette: it’s also an echo of M Madeleine breaking into houses to place gold pieces on the table.

Wow. Long af post for a long af chapter. Congratulations if you read through all of my rambling thoughts.

[pointnumbersixteen]

My Personal Ranking of Ghosts Episodes and Why

So, here’s my personal order for all the current Ghosts episodes, from best to worst, with a bit of an explanation as to why I think so. I included who wrote each episode because the writing pairs tend to have consistent strengths and weaknesses that affect my enjoyment. These are, of course, just my opinions, and I recognize that different people have different tastes.  

1) Moonah Ston (Larry and Martha)

This episode is hilarious and it continues to be hilarious through multiple viewings (some of the jokes in other episodes start to wear thin after multiple viewings, but this one remains entirely solid through dozens of rewatches). Barclay and Bunny are my favorite guest characters throughout the show. Also some of my all-time favorite bits are in it: Cap stealing Thomas’s role doing the reading, the shooting of the pheasant with Cap, everything to do with Mary and the cooking of the pheasant, the way Alison yeets the pelaverga as soon as it’s handed to her, the juxtaposition of the eclipse ritual and the dinner party, Bunny’s ‘sobriety test.’ Also, there’s a strong A plot and a strong B plot that tie together, and all of the characters are fit into these two plots well, which is something the creators sometimes struggle with.

2) Getting Out (Mat and Jim)

I love everything about the Captain’s portion of the plot and it’s a nice big portion, too. His scene with Kitty is one of my favorite scenes in the show, brilliantly written, well-acted, and gorgeously shot. I can feel for Mike and Alison in it. Fiona’s another really funny guest character. My only major complaint is that the plot with other ghosts after the Captain’s left the group starts to drag after enough re-watches, particularly Thomas’s bad erotica and the jewel scene. I found both very funny on the first several watches, but the payoff to both is ruined with enough rewatches. With the first, the payoff is with how surprisingly bad for a ‘professional’ writer his story is, but after you’re well aware that Thomas is a bad writer, it’s just listening to bad writing over and over again. And the bit with Fanny’s jewel has such a long lead up, to get to the surprise payoff that the jewel was secretly pawned by George forever ago, but once you know the jewel is gone, the long lead up gets progressively more tedious with every watch. At least for me.

3) Reddy Weddy (Ben and Simon)

I’ve written extensively about this one before, so I won’t include much, but: I love everything having to do with the Captain in this one, particularly the completely wonderful flashbacks with Havers. Mike and Alison were very well done, and I enjoyed Martin as a guest character. But I really didn’t like the whose-turn-is-it-to-pick-the-movie subplot, it just seemed sort of unnecessary to me and detracted from the tone of the rest of it. I assume they just had trouble finding a better integrated role for Pat, Thomas and Julian, which, as I said under Moonah Ston, is an occasional weakness the creators had.

4) Gorilla War (Larry)

I love Cap’s campaign of attrition. And his singing. Everyone had solid, funny bits, all tied into one main plot in it. Mike and Alison are both well done in this episode. It’s the first episode where Alison is able to interact with the ghosts and I think they did a great job capitalizing on her coming to terms with it and Mike’s such a supportive husband in it.  

5) About Last Night (Mat and Jim)

I love the spat between Cap and Pat in this one, because the focus of their subplot is their relationship dynamic and I enjoy their relationship dynamic- even though it’s close to the breaking point in this instance, all is well because they make up in the end. Everything about the state of the house and trying to remember what happened to it-as well as the flashbacks to the party- is pretty funny. The bits with Dante were very funny as well. The Robin-Mary subplot was a bit meh for me, but I didn’t dislike it, I’m just not sold on the idea. I didn’t enjoy Mike being sidelined on the roof for most of the episode when Alison needed his help and all the criticism he got from the other characters for not being around to help Alison, though.

6) Who Do You Think You Are? (Mat and Jim)

This is a really strong introductory episode with some good, funny bits in it, but it doesn’t rank higher since the ghosts can’t interact with Alison yet and Mike and Alison don’t know they’re there, which is where a lot of the fun of the concept of the show comes in to me.

7) Bump in the Night (Larry and Martha)              

The robbers were funny as were the ghosts’ utterly inept attempts (save Robin) in stopping them. I loved music club, particularly the Captain’s performance. I appreciated the return of Barclay and his bitches. Humphrey was actually reasonably included in the plot, which is always a nice change. There weren’t any bits I found particularly outstanding (except maybe Cap’s musical performance) but there weren’t any major bits I disliked, either. Everyone’s included in one main plot and it continues to be just as enjoyable on rewatches.

8) The Thomas Thorne Affair (Mat and Jim)

I greatly enjoy examine-the-story-from-multiple-viewpoints-to-illustrate-unreliable-narration plots, so that went well in this episode. I also really like regency romances, so this ticked another box for me. Humphrey was given an important bit again, which I appreciate. The bit about Francis was a nice twist at the end, because otherwise it would have been a bit too predictable, with Thomas being shot in a duel over a romantic misunderstanding- that was the most obvious solution to his death, after all. It felt a bit contrived, though, that the characters who died after Thomas all went to the group meeting on time, while the characters who witnessed Thomas’s death were all still wandering around upstairs and just happen to wander into Alison’s room in time to contradict the last telling of the story and provide the next. And of course, the fact that half the cast is just sort of sitting downstairs waiting for a significant portion of the episode always seemed a bit lacking to me. Also, Mike starts the episode being unusually stupid (not knowing Elizabeth II is the current queen- at least in the US, not being able to answer who the current President is frequently used as shorthand for ‘having brain damage’) and spends the rest of it being insecure about Alison’s ex (this seems to be a Mat and Jim thing).  

9) Perfect Day (Mat and Jim)

I loved all the Cap bits in this. Pat’s plotline was good, too. Humphrey actually had a substantial role, which I appreciated, and more so since he actually managed to bring Fanny around to the gay wedding. I was of course thrilled that it was a lesbian wedding. But I’m not a fan of ‘miscommunication causes drama’ plots in any medium and I disliked how once again how insecure Mike is in this episode (Mat and Jim again) and how poorly he handles it.

10) Happy Death Day (Ben)

I love all the Pat bits. I liked the interactions between the Captain and Julian, they had a really enjoyable dynamic in this one, although they’re being rather disappointing human beings in their plotline. I like Kitty’s plotline, too, and the garden scene between her and Fanny is very funny and beautifully framed. I don’t think this episode did a particularly good job with either Mike or Alison, though. Mike ditches his probably still concussed wife who is plagued by ghosts to manage the building work he started because he’s spending hours a day out of the house because there are too many people in it and he’s apparently potty-shy and Alison thinks trying to convince people to do probably thousands, if not more, pounds worth of free labor by making them tea is both a plausible idea and an appropriate thing to even try (it’s bad enough when the people asking you to do free work for them are actually your friends, contriving a friendship in order to do this just sort of seems a bit contemptible to me). Some of the jokes get less funny with time- Fanny with the butt cracks, for instance. I considered the Thomas subplot another weak ‘well, something needs to be done with this character’ subplot and I can’t even remember off the top of my head what Mary was doing most of the episode despite having seen it at least a dozen times, besides the bit where Alison throws the teacup at her head (and if I were Terry, I would have called it quits then).  

11) The Ghost of Christmas (Ben and Simon)

Mostly fluff, and a decent amount of it was rather predictable fluff, but I’ve written more on that elsewhere. Mike’s sisters were the worst. I was hoping Ben would write himself a bigger role and he didn’t. In the Bleak Midwinter was gorgeous, though, and there were enough smaller bits that I found endearing to prop it up over the next two.

12) The Grey Lady (Larry and Martha)

I enjoy the ghosts’ routine as shown at the beginning of the episode. I found Pat’s radio show amusing. I liked the basement scene with Nigel. I wasn’t a huge fan of the Captain’s ‘stretching’ subplot (although I do greatly enjoy his  ‘for king and country’ running), it just seemed a bit silly to me, like they couldn’t decide what to do with him for most of the episode, so went with ‘eh, squats, I guess.’ Also, I feel like they had trouble placing Mary and Kitty, too. Mary spends a lot of the episode staring at a wall and Kitty spends all of it just following the group and occasionally wailing about the ‘ghost-ghost.’ Also, I think Alison went a little too far with her simulated haunting when she dressed up as the Grey Lady; it wasn’t smart because there was no way she was going to get away with it after anyone turned on the lights and it seems a bit more like attempting to defraud people than the rest of it did.

13) Free Pass (Mat and Jim)

Alison actively puts people in danger for money, misrepresenting the house as structurally sound in order to get a movie contract, when in fact the floors are held up by hope and happy thoughts and could (and eventually do) cave at any moment. If the floor had fallen through in the letter scene, before Mike braced it, when they were using the heavy equipment, there likely would have been serious injuries. Also: Toby Nightingale is the worst. Also: the solidity and supportive nature of Mike and Alison’s relationship is the best part of it and I dislike the choice (Mat and Jim again) to make him so insecure in this episode (this was the first in the episode order to do so).

To speak on general tendencies, though: I’m not a fan of doing morally questionable things for monetary reasons unless the situation is life or death, so all of the episodes where that’s Alison’s primary purpose get major demerits from me. That’s a matter of personal taste, but there I am. As for the writers (I recognize they all come up with the general story arcs together, but the writing pairs are responsible for execution), everyone struggles a bit sometimes to get solid roles for everyone into the plot, to be expected when the cast is so large, but some instances are worse than others. I think Larry’s (well, Larry/Martha for most of them, but they’ve both joked that mostly she drinks and he writes when they’re working on their episodes) still the strongest writer in terms of having mostly cohesive plots that standup consistently as solid to multiple viewings, but he also has the most experience as a writer, so that’s probably to be expected. Ben and Simon have both stated that they like jig-sawing a bunch of little plots together to make an episode, and while it is a bit impressive that they can make episodes with like, nearly as many plotlines as characters come together to make one reasonably sane episode, I find this strategy detrimental in that to me, when they do this, there’s always one or two plots that are really, really good, a few plots that are pretty good, and then one or two plots that I just don’t enjoy, that to me drag down the rest of the episode (most apparent in Reddy Weddy, but it happens to some degree in all of their episodes). My major criticism of Mat and Jim is with the way they write Mike. I actually really like Mike when he’s well done, but his portrayal seems to vary a lot between episodes, and (with the exception of Ben’s Happy Death Day, but his problems in that one are different) the episodes he’s written the weakest in are all written by Mat and Jim. They’re the only ones who I think write Mike as insecure in his relationship with Alison and his most incompetent and/or useless moments also tend to be written by them. I don’t know if they have a slightly different concept of Mike’s character than the other four or what, but I think Larry/Martha and Ben/Simon’s portrayals of him tend to be significantly more flattering.

[thr-333]

Could you possibly do one where Mari/Mari and marine is/are the daughter/son of the joker?

I actually planned quite a lot for this after you asked but could never get my thoughts to make something comprehensive so I give up here's what I got!:

-Twins are Joker and Harleys kids born before the two split up(and so help me they will split up this story needs gay aunt Ivy)

-As you might know, these two clowns have another kid; Lucy. Harley left Lucy with her sister when she was born. In canon, she thinks Harley is her aunt but I would say in this fic she learned the truth when the twins were also dropped off.

-So the twins grew up in Gotham with their aunt and big sister knowing full well who their parents are; as such they make the responsible choice to suppress every part of themselves that resembles them and constantly dye their hair in an effort to avoid looking like them. You know healthy coping mechanisms. -

-Naturally, Marinette has brown hair with blue eyes and Marion blonde with brown eyes.

-Their personalities are a bit different from Mismatch. 

-Marion is still a trickster and a trouble maker but this time around has Marinette fully involved and responsible for his shenanigans. He has a bit of a habit of talking to himself(or singing random phrases), sometimes in the third person; he hates when he does, so Marinette always tells him off. He’s always gets the impulse of dying his hair outlandish colors and will vehemently deny his favorite color is green.

- Marinette is crafty, both figuratively and literally. She’s smart, her mother is a doctor after all she can be manipulative to people that arent her(close) family to protect the ones she cares about. She has a deep-seated fear of becoming a trophy, an object to be put on display like her mother and so dresses the opposite and pushes away her love for fashion.

-They will always call each other Mari but if someone else tries they both answer its a nickname they strictly use for each other.

-In a world where Gotham exists it makes absolutely no sense that Gabriel wouldn't start his reign as Hawkmoth in Gotham(the place with the most negative emotions like geez) so that works out perfectly for the twins becoming heroes(Adrien can move to Gotham or be left in Paris to be kept safe your choice)

-Instead of the twins proving themselves by helping an old man up off the street they go a step further is beating up the thugs that try to rob him(all Fu’s set up of course). When they come home to find two mysterious boxes on their beds they make the only rational conclusion children of the joker would; it’s a bomb!

-Not wanting to get the police involved for obvious reasons they find the security footage(which gets the police involved in a different way) and start tracking down fu to see why he’s trying to kill him.

-And as you may recall at this point in canon Ladybug and Chat Noir are defeating an Akuma, well they're not here they’re off to beat up an old man so thats Batman’s job for the time being.

-The twins get caught up in the fight as civilians and are saved by Batman who immediately recognizes them(you don't think Batman has case files on all of Jokers hellspawn?) so that’s gonna be a problem later but never mind that for now~

-The twins track down Fu, who is wondering why they aren’t out fighting the Akuma. Long story short Fu comes back to the house with them and proves they aren't bombs giving them the miraculous.

-I’m a bit indecisive on the names. I thought Marinette would be Red Bug and Marion Black Cat(yes I know that names already taken I don’t care). But I thought Crimson Bug would work better because then their names would start with the same letters. Then I wanted alliteration like Black Bug and Crimson Cat but that obviously doesn't make any sense since Chats color is green not red-- then I realized it would be completely in character for them to call themselves that confusing everyone in the process so no one quite sure whos name is who(if you wanna write it go with whatever I just thought it could be funny)

-As for costumes Marinette's probably wouldn't be skin tight because deep down she really doesn't want to look like that but more practical armor or less form-fitting at least. Marion's hair turns green when he transforms something he freaks out about and Marinette's turns red(glowing or not either would look cool)

-So anyway they go off to defeat the akuma blah blah blah Batman seeing these two young untrained superheroes can only think of one thing: I have to adopt them. So that’s gonna be fun!

-Anyway they go back home trying to be sneaky and immediately get caught by Lucy: ”Don’t tell Aunty!”-- ”Oh I already know” (her names Delia by the way)

- So now the twins get a support system and a family that will look out for them unbelievable right? This support system immediately threatens Fu making sure he actually trains them and doesn't just set them loose on Gotham.

Anyway that's the end of my semi-cohesive plan and here's a vague outline for the fic:

1. Becoming ladybug and chat noir setting up adoption, and school(Bruce invites them to Gotham academy to keep an eye on the jokers children)

2. First day at school setting up Artemis(and by extension young justice), and own passions, Adrien is also at this school now so Marinette falls, Jason finds out falling in love with Marion

3. Becoming friends with Artemis, convinces them to give their passions a try, Marion runs from hood, some let me adopt you stuff also Jason's spite for Cat Noir

4. Skip a bit of time a few months or so, young justice need help Artemis suggest mari and mari, Marinette has a smackdown with batman about their heritage, at odds with young justice Artemis comes to their defense. Young Justice have an ‘oh’ realization on the job when Marion sings a lullaby to a scared child, now the young justice form the mari and mari protection squad

5. Doing ladybug and cat stuff batman approaches them again this time luring them into adoption with a partnership on finding hawkmoth, Red Hood and cat fight. Marion comes back all huffy and there's a scene with Lucy this time comforting them, Marion goes out to get air runs into hood marion bristles stirring Jason to meet him as a civilian, class come to visit, at odds with lila

6. Doing well at school even made a few friends when the Paris class come to visit completely under lila’s control, lila tries to slander the twins for not worshiping her only to out herself when she tells everyone they laughed at her(the twins never laugh), Jason also drops by further discrediting her, lila tries to throw their heritage in their face but they get support openly working with heroes as civilians, this little section ends quite happily with them being sort of accepted at school and batman tolerating their existence for not attacking the person who tried to make their life miserable

7. Time skip few years out of high school now, ladybug and cat are working well with gothams vigilantes widely considered part of the batfam even if no one knows each other's identities. As mari and mari they are doing good work mainly outside of gotham. Marinette is starting a fashion boutique with a little financial help from Wayne enterprises she also does costume design for heroes and villains, villains mainly because she can't stand their current outfits. Marion quite likes his music but isn't sure how he will feel in the public eye is great friends with Jason and the skip picks up with them officially starting to go out identities unknown. They are still hesitant about their identities in civilian life Marinette starting her business under a false name and Marion cant start his because of his heritage. Jason officially has to admit they are going out to the family is met with grilling by aunt and sister, joy by harley once she tries giving them sex advice they leave, his brothers tease and both are tense about Bruces reaction but he begrudgingly accepts. Are out as ladybug and Cat still snippy with hood but it’s not as bad they are closing in on hawkmoth. Go to hang out with young justice as well they aren't well-liked in Gotham but they’re fine with that(not really)

8. NOW things can go to shit joker finally has enough of them deciding to get a hold of them but I think it should be as ladybug and chat revealing their identities to the world. The twins are terrified rightfully so. Get saved now it’s weird between hood and marion, marion feeling betrayed Jason knew who he was and knew who his father was but still decided to date him and he just can't understand why. Adrien was so scared for Marinette and now they both have to work out why. Gotham is at odds the heroes they admire are born from a villain they fear. Bats are a bit weird feeling like they were tricked while also kind of acknowledging the twins are good people

9. Harassed in their everyday life now the twins go to young justice where they get met with awe for being established independent heros, bats there are acting weird but the twins say something to shift perspective leaving to let them mull on it. Jason tries to apologise saying he doesn't see Marion like that blah blah Marion has a breakdown asking how he can be anything but a villain. Marinette's having whiplash going from loved to hated and still dealing with the trauma of seeing her father. They snap. In public a big ol scene and they get akumatised everyone sees it, it’s on tv. Hawkmoth comes out to get their miraculous the batfam can’t beat him. He’s monolouging probing at their deepest fears when they snap back to reality realizing none of it’s true every part of them has worked to be good people and they are they don't hand over their miraculous beating the akumatizaton and beating hawkmoth while akumatised.

10. They are released from the hospital a few days later, getting hesitant recognition on the streets. It's not thunderous applause but it is something. Their family comes to pick them up, Adrien is crying to Marinette about not scaring him like that(her family took him in when Gabriel was revealed). Marion gets picked up by Jason they patch things over. They get accepted into the batfam and work as ladybug and cat for everything. Marion decides to start playing music and Marinette reveals her face to her fashion brand.

[blanket-hole]

Im calling this the faberry files cos I feel like a spy when I'm really just very gay

This is just basically timestamps of every faberry moment I could find as I was rewatching season 1-3. I don't know if anyone wants to see it but I just put it here cos why not. I wasn't really planning on posting it but here we are so it features my gay ass commentary. Anyway there u go.

gay ass looks-

-1x04- so far I’ve seen a gay ass look Quinn gives Rachel at 35:36

-1x05-39:50-not that gay but a little bit, also long

-1x09-43:02 she looks so adoring

-1x10-during endless love

-1x11-9:37 voiceover is mean but just look at those eyes and tell me I’m wrong,34:00 she literally looks so adoringly I can’t

-1x12-10:41 pretends not to see her only to look straight (or not) at her

-1x15-35:02 they’re even talking about love at the time and sitting weirdly close for enemies

-1x16-41:30 

-1x20-43:06 I can’t really see where she’s looking under those long ass lashes but I think when Rachel does that little giggle she stares at her while smiling, might just be Faberry goggles tho

-1x22-9:05 I think thats like the cutest smile my little gay heart, 14:23 Quinn is fully checking her out rn like not even subtle they’re on stage

-2x04 16:12, 41:48 at Rachel singing

-2x07-23:19 that could in no way be regarded as a platonic look of enjoying the song, especially since its just started 

-2x09- 43:04 part of dog days but its just so cute them holding hands also weird since they are still meant to hate each other lol

-2x10-6:03 this could just be my Faberry goggles but im counting it :D, 31:20 staring at Rachel while she looks sad

-2x11-11:04 could be at puck but she was looking at Rachel before when they were further apart so imma take the w also Diana looks really cute in this bit

-2x16- 4:27 is being kinda mean but also the way she looks at her <3<3<3 :DD also 5:21 if u don’t want to wait through a bit of a scene and the look then is suuuuper gay, 43:17 she looks so proud of her girlfriend :DDDDD

-2x18-52:49 she looks like such a proud girlfriend in this bit

-2x21-1:29 its only a quick look from Quinn tho

-3x06-28:26 Quinn gives Rachel the GAYEST lingering look at the end of the song (unless my eyes deceive me but I don’t think they do cos I’ve checked like 3 times :DDD)

-3x07- 25:00 this is possible the outright gayest look from Quinn ive ever seen, its during one of the songs but I had to put it in

-3x08- 41:10 the look of joy on Quinns face when Rachel touches her shoulder is just pure gay energy

-3x14- 17:27 ‘for the rest of my life’ looks at Quinn, ffs just get married already, 24:07 she literally bites her lip like wth how is this not canon

-3x19- 39:08 kind of but Quinn looks really happy when he says Rachel Berryand its so cute

Scenes together-

-before I had this idea- the “eavesdrop much” talk, and a couple of other things e.g. the ru Paul scene and the sweetie scene. 

-1x05-41:59 during somebody to love weird foot tap thing

-1x06- 18:34 gay ass looks as well, 22:58

-1x07-21:45, 28:53 (the you obviously have a lot you need to express scene), 32:07 they just get wierdly closer for no reason

-1x09-26:09 not much but still

-1x13-3:06, 11:01

-1x15-34:18 sitting really close together next to each other when they’re meant to not like each other?

-1x20-5:42 they also sit really close and a bit of gay staring

-2x02 35:40 (on left of stage next to mike) they’re seen really close and talking, 38:55 standing unreasonably close and also in weird positions for a conversation, 31:28 Quinn looks really sad when Rachel sings to Finn (could also be a Fuinn thing tho so idk)

-2x04 28:11

-2x08-9:44

-2x13- 30:51

-2x14-8:19 its shortcut the level of gay panic on Quinns face is enough for its own spot

-2x15-0:03 how closeted is it to be the only two in the celibacy club fighting over a guy that neither of them want or need lmao I just think its really funny

-2x16-9:31 the level of gay panic on racehls face when she says she’s right is just a mood, 22:27 I think this is  a scene about miscommunication and Quinn blatantly states that she thinks Rachel is much better than Finn and that she believes in her I have a lot of feelings about this scene but ill leave it at that

-2x17-16:20

-2x18-2:38 not much tho, 10:53 they’re being civil and touchy feely also leads into pretty/unpretty, 21:50 when it pans to Quinn it makes it seem like it would be a Fuinn jealousy scene but she doesn’t look jealous at all just a bit sad i think she possibly is worried about Rachel and while she understands (which is why she’s helping) she wants her to feel beautiful in her own skin sorry if I read a bit too far in lol

-2x20-29:42, 33:12, 35:30 I love how finn last episode said Quinn was so closed off with her feelings and then this scene like maybe she can be herself around Rachel idk

-3x01-10:57 Skank Quinn fully checks Rachel out as she’s leaving in this scene also right after a scene where she said she’s not interested in the boys

-3x05-22:55 talking about finchel tho

-3x08-0:00, 21:54, 37:48

-3x11-14:28,20:00 is also a gay ass look but shes talking to Rachel so I put it here

-3x12-13:09 she only taps Rachel tho

-3x13-15:43 Quinn is acting like the stereotypical ‘gentleman’ and its very Faberry canon esque, to put it the best can

-3x14-34:28 this scene I just can’t the way Quinn lights up when she see her and her voice softens a bit and what she said this is the gayest scene no-one can explain it it a hetero way just ahh

-3x15-10:28 they’re holding hands :DD

-3x19-31:48 

-3x22-23:12 those tickets cost so much money I swear they should have been way better friends after high school pft, 40:15 Quinn looks so proud of her girlfriend

Possible scenes, could be just drama-

-1x09-29:27 could be at Rachel

-2x10-12:40 kind of about being sad about Finn but could be jealousy?

-2x16- 34:47 could be about Faberry but is framed as finchel or fuinn

-2x17- 37:28 probably just finchel drama but still Faberry jealousy

-2x18-17:16 they say how they’re ‘fighting about Rachel again’ and Im putting it in idc about finchel :DD

-2x19- 23:19 more about Fuinn like always in this category but Faberry jealousy

-2x22-2:27, 3:29, 8:25 finchel/fuinn/faberry jealousy

Sitting really close when they’re meant to not like each other-

-1x15-34:18 

-1x19-32:33 

-1x20-19:16 in the scene Quinn kinda checks her out but then they stand really close so I put it here

-2x02 23:24 sits really close to Rachel when she dresses in her Britney Spears costume and in the scene Quinn looks like she’s purposefully trying not to look at her and at 29:20 Quinn chose to sit right behind Rachel again, 39:52 seen sitting right behind her again

-2x10- 35:03 standing really close when it would make a difference if Quinn stood anywhere else (e.g. next to her friends or boyfriend) I just think its weird lol

-2x15- 6:28 (before Quinn starts plotting against Rachel, they’re in celibacy club together but all they do is argue so its still a bit weird)

-3x07- 4:54

I dont know where to put this-

-2x17- 35:10 they kinda just look a bit nervous and small interaction I just wanted to add this because I thought it was cute the way they moved around each other idk

-2x20- 14:46 Rachel knows Quinns eyes so well she knows the flower and colour of the ribbon (also gardenias are for secret love which it would surprise me if Rachel already knew)

-3x04-20:26 Rachel isn’t sitting near her boyfriend or anyone she’s even really friends with its a bit weird that shed be sitting in the corner right next to Quinn away from the other chairs

Songs- Ive probably missed a bunch of these but I tried lmao-

-somebody to love

-halo

-ride with me

-no air

-keep holding on

-bust a move

-proud Mary

-crazy in love

-imagine- there is a gay ass look

-you can’t always get what you want

-dont rain on my parade

-my life would suck without you

-gives u hell

-hello goodbye

-like a prayer

-home(kind of)

-give up the funk

-any way you want it

-faithfully

-dont stop delieving 

-Empire State of mind

-ice ice baby

-toxic

-damn it Janet

-time warp

-sweet transvestite

-start me up/living on a prayer

-hot patootie

-forget you

-umbrella/singin in the rain

-I think I wanna marry you

-just the way you are

-ive had the time of my life

-Valerie

-the Dog days are over

-the most wonderful day of the year

-welcome Christmas

-heads will roll/thriller

-fat bottomed girls

-sing

-blame it on the alcohol

-tik tok

-do you wanna touch

-afternoon delight

-get it right

-loser like me

-pretty/unpretty

-born this way

-pure imagination

-New York New York

-Fix you

-last Friday night

-hit me with your best shot/one way or another

-I cant go for that/ you make my dreams

-I kissed a girl

-feed the world

-summer nights

-we found love

-gotta be starting something

-Im sexy and I know it

-stereo hearts (not technicaly but a lot of Faberry so I’m putting it in)

-fly/I believe I can fly

-heres to us

-its not right but its okay

-its all coming back to me now

-paradise by the dashboard light

-we are the champions

-tongue tied

-you get what you give

[365days365movies]

February 22, 2021: Pillow Talk (1959)(Part 1)

Y’know, I actually do like Doris Day.

She’s funny, she’s talented, and she’s a timeless beauty that I remember very well. TOO well. You guys ever have that one thing that your parents crammed down your throat SO MUCH that you got sick of it? Well, that’s what my Mom did with The Thrill of it All.

Which is, for the record, a cute movie, and one worth watching again at some point. But I’m gonna ease my way into that with Doris Day and Rock Hudson’s first movie, 1959′s Pillow Talk. 

However, while I’m not stranger to Doris Day, I’m afraid that I don’t know too much about Rock Hudson from experience. Well, there is one interesting tidbit about him: Hudson was one of the biggest stars of the ‘50s and ‘60s, and his career continued up until his death in 1985...from AIDS-related complications.

Yeah, Rock Hudson was one of the biggest gay celebrities in Hollywood, although he never publicly came out. However, it was somewhat of an open secret in the community at large, and basically all of his female co-stars know about it. 

And said secret was revealed posthumously, after his tragic death during the height of the AIDS crisis. He was by far one of the most high-profile deaths during this time period, and you’d think that would’ve caused more waves about the AIDS-crisis, considering that he was good friends with...well...another actor.

Yeaaaaaaaaah, not gonna get into Reagan and ALL OF THAT SHIT here. This here is a movie blog, not a political blog! But, uh, yeah, a LOT of fucked-up shit about Reagan and the AIDS crisis, obviously, and part of it was Rock Hudson. So, yeah, it’s something that I wanted to address before we got into this whole shindig.

Because, again, I’ve never seen a Rock Hudson movie, but dude was a pretty huge deal, and this was a part of his life that I felt it unfair not to at least acknowledge. SO, with that out of the way, let’s have a little Pillow Talk. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

We start with that might be one of my favorite opening sequences so far this month, which you can see above. From there, Jan Morrow (Doris Day) wakes up, humming the theme song from the credits, which is clever, considering that she sang it! Talented lady, seriously.

Jan wakes up and goes to the phone, intending to make a call. However, this is where we get a pretty stark cultural difference, and a needed history lesson for some of us, me included. See, Jan’s phone line is actually a party line, seen through this neat little visual edit.

See, this is what’s called a “party line”. From the 1870s onwards, there was a shortage of available phone lines. By the time you get to the ‘60s, more and more people had personal phones in their households, but without enough lines to go around. And so, some people were forced to share their phone lines with others, hence the party line system!

Here’s the thing, though: if somebody was on the line already, anyone else on that line could hear the conversation of other people. Which is exactly what’s pissing of Jan right now, as she needs to make a call, but the line is being used by her party line partner, songwriter Brad Allen, who’s serenading his girlfriend (?) Eileen (Valerie Allen). Not sure that they’re actually dating, but Eileen definitely wants to.

After Jan’s insistence, they get off the phone, and Jan’s able to begin her busy morning at last. Well...almost. Brad’s now talking to Yvette (Jacqueline Beer), and she wants him to sing HER song to her, which is LITERALLY just the Eileen song with a different name and in French! Which is...hilarious. It’s very funny, not gonna lie.

Once again, Jan tells him to get off the party line, and hangs up angrily. She leaves just as her cleaner woman, Alma (Thelma Ritter) arrives, fresh off of a hangover. Jan goes to try and get a line of her own, and the manager, Mr. Conrad (Hayden Rorke) makes a WEIRDLY sexist comment about jumping to the top of the list if she were pregnant. Which, yeah...weird.

Anyway, Jan, in her frustration, tells Mr. Conrad that she’s hired of sharing the line by a “sex maniac.” Mr. Conrad asks for specifics, and is AGAIN WEIRDLY SEXIST ABOUT IT. He asks if his dalliances with other women disturb her in particular. But yeah, he also says that if he is indeed a “sex maniac,” they may need to disconnect him altogether. Which has...uncomfortable undertones all on its own, but whatever, moving on.

On her way to work, Jan’s friend Jonathan Forbes (Tony Randall) shows up to bring her a STRAIGHT-UP CAR, holy shit! He’s doing so to thank her for decorating his offices (she’s an interior decorator, he’s a car dealership owner, so...fair exchange?). She insists that it’s too personal, which confuses him, as it isn’t perfume or lingerie.

But, uh, dude? IT’S A WHOLE-ASS CAR!!! Look, I’m with her on this one, don’t just give me a fuckin’ car out of the blue! I don’t care what the reason is, tell me that shit first! And Jonathan is CLEARLY trying to make it just a little more personal, if you get my meaning.

Jan finally arrives at her office, owned by Mr. Pierot (Marcel Dalio), and she tells him that an inspector has been sent to look after Mr. Allen. This inspector is Miss Dickenson (Karen Norris), and being of the wimmins, is immediately entranced by the apparently irresistible Mr. Allen, sabotaging any attempt at inspection.

The next morning, the inspector’s report comes through, and Miss Dickinson has of course cleared him of all charges. He calls her, and the two clash in a way that definitely means they’ll never, ever, ever fall in love, no sir, not these two, not a CHANCE IN HELL

They agree to make a schedule for using the phone, and Brad accuses Jan of being jealous of his free-wheeling, bed-hopping lifestyle, which she takes great offese to. But after they hang up, she thinks on the idea of having bedroom problems. Looks like Jonathan wants to fix that, on account of being the THIRSTIEST MAN ALIVE.

Dude has three three ex-wives, all of which were revolts against his mother, for which he’s seeing a psychiatrist.

...CHRIST, the man’s a walking-talking red flag. Jan also says that she doesn’t love him, like...AT THE FUCK ALL, and the man just straight-up says, “How do you know, we’ve never even kissed.” Ai which point, any normal person would see the phantom neckbeard and whip out the fuckin’ bear mace, but Jan just lets him lean in for the goddamn kiss!!!

Jan...standards, Jan. My God. Anyway, she still turns him down, he asks her to get married again, and she leaves. For God’s sakes, man. Anyway, she goes home, where Alma’s listening to Brad serenade a girl over the party line. Jan notes the time, and tells him to get off the line. He calls back, and tells her off.

Brad gets a visitor: his old college friend FUCKIN’ JONATHAN AGAIN. He bemoans being a millionaire (po’ babyyyyy), then reveals that he’s pining over Jan, whom he doesn’t know is the person on the party line with Brad. He hears a good amount of information about Jan from Jonathan.

After the conversation, Brad tries to somewhat reconcile with Jan, but she doesn’t have any interest in doing so. That night, the two have separate affairs. Brad meets up with a woman named Marie, and  serenades her with the same goddamn song from earlier, that suave motherfucker. Dude flips a switch, and the door fuckin’ LOCKS! Jesus, state-of-the-art hook-up tech of 1959.

Meanwhile Jan is attending a dinner held by an extremely client, Mrs. Walters (Lee Patrick). Needing to get home, she has her son Tony (Nick Adams) give her a ride. But on the way home, they stop and WHAT THE FUCK TONY??? I actually can’t find a clip or GIF of this, so I’ll tell you...he is ALL THE FUCK OVER HER, and it’s GROSS. CAN WE PLEASE STOP SEMI-RAPING DORIS DAY? WHAT THE FUCK, IN NO WAY IS WHAT I JUST WATCHED OK, HOLY SHIT!!!!!

Like...wow, that was the most uncomfortable I’ve felt watching a movie in a WHILE. And it’s not even because of the act itself, it’s because of how...OK it feels in the context of the film. Jan is BARELY upset by this slimy little weasely-faced rapey CREEP LITERALLY ASSAULTING HER IN THE FUCKING CAR. And in case you were wondering, yes! This film was written by FOUR MEN.

This is gross. Sorry, but this whole sequence is gross, and it gets even LONGER, because she AGREES TO GO GET A DRINK WITH HIM. WHY, JAN? STOP ENCOURAGING THIS BEHAVIOR. He tries to get her drunk (but ends up drunk himself), but she tries to leave. However, who should be sitting one table but Brad, who realizes who this is. Jan tries to leave, but Tony tries to get her to dance with him, AND SHE ONCE AGAIN AGREES, JAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!

And its during this time of distress for Brad that, OF COURSE, he finds himself extremely attracted to her. And since he knows who she is, but she doesn’t know him, he decides to fake his identity. And there we go, we’ve got a creepy-ass one-sided relationship set-up.

Meanwhile, lightweight Tony passes out on the floor, drunk as shit. Brad goes into help, putting on a take Texas accent and calling himself Rex Stetson. And OF FUCKING COURSE, she’s lost in his fuckin’ eyes. Damn those eyes, and his suave bullshit.

They shove Tony into a cab, then take his car, which appears to be too small for Brad, which makes sense, given the fact that Hudson was 6′4″, goddamn! The two take a cab, and the two reveal their mutual attraction to the audience, through their inner thoughts. Looks like all Jan needed for a relationship was handsome-ass Rock Hudson.

In her thoughts, she thinks on how honest and down-to-earth Rex Stetson seems, unlike “monsters” like Tony and Brad Allen. And OF COURSE this is how we get this started. OF GODDAMN COURSE this is how we start this relationship. Liar revealed, LIAR REVEALED, I FUCKIN’ HATE THAT GODDAMN TROPE SO MUCH

Soon after “Rex” takes her home, he goes home herself, and gives her a call, inviting her to dinner the following night. She accepts. Then, in the middle of the call, Brad pretends to pick up the line as himself, in order to set up the two identities as being separate...this is reverse You’ve Got Mail, isn’t it?

Think about it. Two people that hate each other, and they’ve never seen one another, but also love each other after meeting in person. IT’S THE OPPOSITE OF YOU’VE GOT MAIL. Ugh. Fine. Even down to the fact that he has a sizeable advantage over her, due to his full knowledge of the situation. He even tries to use his identity as Brad Allen to set-up their date the next night for success.

And it works, goddamn. A clever yet manipulative asshole, this dude is. They get on a horse and carriage, and we hear the inner thoughts of Jan, Brad, and the dude who owns the horse. And, yeah...it’s funny. The two go to dinner, where Jonathan shortly arrives. Brad gets him out of there with...mildly fatphobic means, but it is the 1950s, so things were just kinda...entirely that.

But in any case, Brad gets away with it, and he and Jan spend a hell of a lot of time together going all around the city. And the whole time, he’s playing the role of “Rex.” Ugh. This is a good halfway point, so let’s go to Part 2 here! See you there!

[lady-plantagenet]

What hasn’t already been said: The Spanish Princess 2

Episode 3: GOOD Grief! (we finally have a good episode on our hands)

To all those of you keen enough to have come back for another segment of ‘what hasn’t already been said: TSP’, as opposed to have just been scrolling when you see this - welcome back! (Scrollers you too <3)

Drawing of Thomas More’s Son AKA who Margaret Pole at this point wants to be the step baby momma of ;).

To anyone who’s seeing this for the first time: what this is a list of observations, jokes, reactions and criticism which occur to me upon a rewatch. I wait every week until Saturday to do this so that I have had my fill of scrolling through the tag and aggregating what has already been said. I tried doing a whole spoof (here where I gave up 10% in) but tbh a) I don’t know the history well enough b) it’s more time consuming than I thought and c) this series is just not as funny or as crazy as TWQ, so it’s untenable. Having said that: This is not a hatepost. I’m not hatewatching this series and nitpicking on purpose but expressing my honest views and trying to find the good in it as well as the bad.

Without further ado...

First Scenes: 

LMAO the way Wolsey suggests they break their alliance with Spain is freaking hilarious because the actor delivers the lines as if he were a high school girl making a personal attack by suggesting the prom change its theme to 70s disco to the chagrin of the peppy up-and-coming rival.

Also @ Henry VIII looking like the peppy up-and-comer’s bff and shy stan with that pencil bite and small smirk when Catherine loses her cool against Wolsey.

I’m sorry... who is Henry married to again?

Also what is Margaret Pole doing at the council meeting?? I’m not saying I don’t like it.

Margaret Pole warning against certain repetitive thinking creating madness :(((

Attempted Naked Twister:

Oh Catherine, what is with you and all the other STARZ protagonists and that weird politcky bedroom talk? Who actually finds this sexy?

‘Catherine you are unnatural’ ooof that line delivery was somehow haunting.

Was the whole ‘I can’t be rushed you are off-putting with your overpowering’ a callback to Arthur and Catherine? Apparently there’s another writer for this episode so I won’t put all subtly past them. 

Scotland:

‘Shitey men’ asdkjashd

Look I’m tired of all this ‘my children won’t be safe’ line getting repeated. Look mate, murder of royal infants and children was not exactly a common occurence, even in cases of deposition. The Princes in the Tower are an exception to this but a very infamous case for that reason. Child murder was extremely taboo. In situations like this with an infant kid, no one is going to bother murdering the babies and taking their thrones, the lords will just vie for power and make themselves de facto rulers and oust the queen. It’s not a question of safety but a question of holding power. Stop giving all women characters perma mummy brains.

Maggie being all caring:

‘Barnaby’ *scoffs* ‘Such an English name’ - OH MAN 0_0 is Catherine mocking them for trying to adapt ? Like I know it’s meant to show her envy for Lina, but it’s coming out all messed up.

Our girl Maggie’s smile screams I’m beating your ass in chess.

Anyhow this is the least histrionic we’ve seen Catherine so far.

Chaplain vs Catherine:

I’m interested how Catherine will feel at Stafford’s execution given that I have noticed this show build up to a friendship between them.

Why is everyone laughing at the whole ‘will you delight us with new schemes’ line was not that funny?

LMAO at Thomas Boleyn’s attempted brown-nosing. 

You know what? Ruairi is a decent actor. When he says ‘so you admit it? you lost the child because you tried to be a man?” the actor conveys Henry’s troubled mind, lowkey scare towards Catherine and bewilderment all in one. The way his eyes do not move but just widen emotionlessly also gives this sense that he is being manipulated (which I guess they are going for with Wolsey). Then the whole choir music in the background.. I don’t know.. I’m liking this, it’s creating a vibe of a king of haunted and increasingly paranoid Henry. I’m sure they are going for that, so good.

Ursula Pole and Mama:

Maggie Pole say ‘riches don’t keep you safe’ with tears in her eyes :’(. Please tell me how this is not her thinking on her parents and granddad Warwick and what befell them ;’(.

I find Ursula refreshing actually, don’t get those types of heroines often. But they are making her similar to a gold-digger, an exhalted marriage was first and foremost considered a thing of honour. Noblepeople wouldn’t speak in such mercenary terms regarding their marriages. 

Post Mary Defiance:

I love the ‘horse’ nickname from Brandon n’awwww

Also just realised what made TWQ so atmospheric - that wierd ‘oooo’ sound effect in the background when a character was being paranoid or worrying. They are using it during Henry’s ‘How is it that I have no sons?’ and it is just... so effective.

Catherine calling them ordinary children... she just keeps striking me as more and more classist. Like ok, I know every royal was... but still, I thought she was meant to see Lina as a friend and equal despite her race and status. To add the race element, this kind of rubs me the wrong way.

Also it is so clear by the end when Catherine states how the king is upset with her, she expects Maggie to ask her about it.. but she doesn’t lmao.

Back to Scotland until Sexy boy fencing:

I love me this soft boi. Angus <3 <3

I like how they address that some men don’t really like killing and that violence isn’t inherent in a man’s nature.

Oh man, are we supposed to look at Lina’s house and deplore the impoverished conditions? It would go for at least 3,000,000 pounds in today’s property market?

Is Catherine being particularly classist again with ‘Why u not becoming a butcher Wolsey, ey?’. 

Though I will admit the ‘but giving meat to the poor is also good’ was one of her only smart comebacks.

Just realised, Catherine’s pink dress pretty as it is, looks straight out of the 1570s... why?

Montage and After:

You guys are right, there is this weird longing between Henry and Wolsey lmao. It is actually insane.

So basically Catherine is officially depressed

OOOFF we have Stafford as regent instead of Catherine. (edit: I suppose it’s cause they go to France which they didn’t historically? Also if Stafford is at home then what is his son later doing in France, why would he be there without his father. This show didn’t think this through)

Meg Singing:

An impassionate speech is not too anachronistic. But despite the title of this post (what hasn’t been said) I will reiterate that 16th century and Medieval people’s problem wasn’t that they were ashamed of their grief and didn’t cry. In fact, crying was somewhat more socially acceptable then than it even is now! Even manly men like Arthur were written as crying in literature such as Malory’s Morte d’Arthur. Obviously you couldn’t go overboard, but in truth crying was indeed often too performative rather than hidden too much behind doors.

Pole and More UWUWU in France and after:

I LIKE THIS INTELLECTUAL FLIRTING

It’s nice to see a depiction of romantic feelings between mature and level-headed subjects.

God Mary Tudor is so beautiful in this scene jesus. and the music when she was being presented was also very beautiful.

Maggie Pole getting given ‘a modest income’ yeah... she was one of the wealthiest peers of her day.

Also Maggie’s lady cousin not lady aunt Frost!

‘shaking of the sheets’ lmaoooo

William Compton cracks the hell out of me. I love this guy. He is just so creepy and twisted yet super keen and friendly. ahaha He looks like a riot, I hope we see him more. lmao tiles.

Also this palace feels very anachronistic almost 18th century-ish.

I like the Louis and Mary sequence, it’s nice seeing him trying to make her feel less scared, but OMFG when he lay on that chair.. for one second I thought they were trying to kill him off already.

Scotland: ‘Love is an open doooooorrrrr’ + Last Scene:

I ship Meg and Douglas ahhhh this soft boi x strong woman match is everything Henry and Catherine could have been.

I wonder... why is Lina speaking in Spanish more than Catherine. hmmm Are they trying to foreshadow Lina’s eventual return home and how Catherine become a true englishwoman?

Conclusion:

7.5/10

I cannot in all fairness believe it. This was actually decent. I’ve given up on historical accuracy long ago so by this point I’m focusing more on how it stands as as drama. I mean, TWQ was also a flop when it came to grasping the complex issues of that era but why do I feel compelled to rewatch it every year? Because it had atmosphere when it came to acting, music, certain aesthetics (though the costumes let me down often). It felt adequately gothic and dark, yet bright and jewel-lish when it had to be, sometimes both at the same time. Some one-liners were also memorable etc...

So far TSP 2 did not have any of this. Everything felt way too off and anachronistic. But not even consistently anachronistic. The music was also often very meh (though I just noted the absence of the spanish stringy theme that kept playing in season 1 - I guess I understand why), the dialogue very clichéd (‘alright lads let’s throw in the words: king, crown, power, fight, battle + other buzzwords and we have ourselves Shakespeare’) and so on... but I saw a change in this episode and I couldn’t initially point out what it was.

Upon rewatch, I identified some of the improvements (noted above) but above all: The producer was different! Boy does it show. Unfortunately, I think she is only for this one episode which really sucks. Come back! There is more chemistry between the couples, less predictable interactions, pervy Compton, cinnamonroll Douglas, better music, more scenic shots (e.g Douglas and Margaret in church) e.t.c. I hope it will match the rest of the STARZ productions in getting better towards the end.

Look it’s no masterpiece. But I’ll give credit where it’s due because at least this time it didn’t leave me feeling wanting and unsatisfied (if that makes sense).

[spooky-z]

College Françoise Dupont’s talent show [5/5]

• 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 4.1 • 5 • 5.1 •

Warning: suicide mention at the final

@ozmav @maribat-archive

Damian was not one bit happy with the wistful eyes of Adrien for Marinette.

Since the confrontation with the class, Wayne noticed that the blonde did not take the eyes of his bride. Perhaps he was not even blinking. He could barely see the boy breathing!

“Damian, control your temper.” Tim nudged him. “Looks like you’re going to jump the golden boy’s neck anytime.”

They were sitting in the auditorium, lights on, people searching their seats. The whole family sitting in the third row of the main set of chairs, occupying the entire row.

The order being from the far left starting with Alfred, Bruce, Dick, Kori, Jason, Tim, Damian, Sabine, Tom, Chloe, Kagami, Allan, Allegra and Claude.

Jagged and Penny had been taken into the cabin, accompanied by Chloe’s parents and Kagami’s mother.

Adrien and the rest of the class, sitting in the second row. The blonde standing right in front of him, not disguising the fact that he was facing Marinette, who was on stage talking quietly with Felix and the director.

“If he doesn’t stop eating her with his eyes, I’ll…” and clenched his fist, imagining Agreste’s head in the middle of it.

Sabine, who had heard the exchange, laughed softly. Her son-in-law was so cute.

“Honey, it’s like we say: they may look, but they can’t have it,” she says, her hand on Damian’s fist. “My daughter looks beautiful. If no one looked at her twice, I would have been offended on her behalf.”

He bites his lip in conflict, but seems to decide that his mother-in-law was right and looked away from the blonde, preferring the sight of his angel.

“Good evening everyone.” The director says in the microphone, Marinette and Felix at his right side, microphones in their hands. “Today we mark the end of the talent week and also the end of the semester.” He pauses with the sound of the applause “this week was indeed amazing. Many talents discovered; many laughs obtained. It was wonderful.“

The audience shouts in agreement. Damian frowns with the particularly high-pitched scream in his ear and glances quickly at Tim.

“Today, as you can see, I have two guests with me” the director says again “Marinette Dupain-Cheng-”

“Hello!” Marinette sings into the microphone, a sweet smile on her face.

“-And Felix Aguillard.” Felix bows to the audience “Our first graders of the year.” More applause.

At the sound of the applause, Damian was able to hear a loud "What ?!” coming from the row in front of him, but could not recognize the voice because of the noise.

“It’s been a year since they’ve been studying at both Dupont and a prestigious university.” General choke “Marinette at ESMOD and Felix at INSEAD-”

“WHAT?!” Lila shouts in surprise, cutting off the director. She sits up quickly when she realizes that she has lost control in front of everyone. “Sorry, I was just surprised.”

Chloe scoffs before shouting to the stage “THAT’S MY GIRL!”

Marinette laughs “And Fe? He’s your boy too, isn’t he?” Teases into the microphone.

Felix looks at her, the pained expression on his face.

Chloe scowls at them and screams once again, “I’m sorry, but I’m SUPER GAY.” And the audience laughs out loud at the antics. The director looks unsure of what to do.

“Ahem,” he catches everyone’s attention, the laughter calming down. “Continuing what I was saying- Today marks their last high school day, so nothing fairer than them being our special guests of the night. The two will open for today’s participants, but they will not be part of the competition.” And ends, waving to the two talk something before they begin.

Felix shakes his head, saying he doesn’t want to say anything and follows him off the stage, but Marinette takes the lead, microphone tight in her hands.

“Good evening everyone.” She says, “Like Principal Damocles said, my name is Marinette. Marinette Dupain-Cheng and I want a little of your time.” Her eyes gauge each of the audience, not stopping at anyone for long.

“Today has been a particularly special day for me.” It starts “But I’ll start with last month. Last month I was able to go a step further in my career. I received an undeniable proposal and now my things must be arriving at Gotham, my old and new residence.” She notices some violent reactions in the ranks of her former class. Alya. “Today… today I was proposed by the man I love. Today I have friends supporting me, I have my family by my side, I’m having you all now.” Her slightly wet eyes, Damian notes, wanting more than anything to be by her side right now.

“But it wasn’t always like that.” His tone a little bitter. “There was a time, like, about three years ago, that I had people in my life that I thought were there to support me. To be my friends. To support me when I’m not well…” she sighs “But I was wrong. So wrong.”

“I came to such a low point, so dark, that time has stopped. Like this. I had lost my will, my motivation. I was alive but not living.” Sabine, who had been holding back tears, could no longer and cried silently “But hey! This is not a sad story. It’s not because I found good people. Great friends. A great boyfriend. It was not easy at first. There have been relapses. Days I wanted to do nothing more than sleep and sleep. But I did it.” She winked at Lila, who seemed to have eaten something bad.

“I’m reaching my goals. Saying goodbye to most of you, see you soon to others and a ‘I hope I never have to see you again’ for the ones left.” She says sweet, so sweet that her teeth hurt.

“It was thinking about this past, this dark spot of my life, that I wrote a song … Yeah! I know! You were expecting a fashion show, but here I am, ready to sing.” Jokes with the general surprise.

She looks at the side edge of the stage. Luka was waiting for the signal to be able to enter. She blinks at him and he smiles, the guitar positioned in his hands.

“To sing this song I would need support, so a friend volunteered for this role.” She turns to the audience. “Please, a round of applause for Luka Couffaine, my best friend.”

///

Alya was… She didn’t know how she was feeling at that moment.

She had stopped trying to understand what had been going on since Chloe had appeared with Kagami two nights ago to pick up Marinette at the theater.

That was so frustrating! How, when … The three had become friends. How Marintte could forgive Chloe. When Marinette had overcome her rivalries with Kagami.

Alya didn’t understand. Alya didn’t know.

Alya didn’t remember when it was the last time she’d talked to Marinette. Her best friend.

But she remembered the last time she’d screamed at the brunette about being mean. About how after so many years, she still hasn’t gotten over her jealousy of Lila. How Adrien would never love her if she continued this behavior.

She remembered the teary blueberries, the flushed cheeks (of shame or anger she didn’t know) and the weak voice asking to leave her alone.

But it wasn’t her fault! She just wanted the brunette to grow up, take her head off the Adrien world, and live. Give Lila a chance.

What did not happen. Marinette just walked away.

She would come to school, attend classes, and then disappear. No one knew where she was going at breaks. During classes, she hardly interacted with others.

Just Chloe.

And Alya still couldn’t understand. Didn’t understand what Marinette was saying on that stage. Didn’t know what she was talking about. She was trying. Really. But it was all in vain to see Luka Couffaine come on stage.

His slightly longer, unruly hair combed anyway, torn black jeans, shiny boots, and a black T-shirt under a mossy green leather jacket. A guitar in his arms.

His eyes wrapped in a thick layer of khol.

He bent slightly toward Marinette’s microphone, a polite smile on his lips.

“Good night, Dupont. I’m Luka and I’m here today to help Minette in one or two songs.” He says “God knows how bad she is with the guitar.” He laughs when Marinette jokes him playfully.

She takes his microphone and says again "I think we should start, what do you think ?!”

A projector screen descends behind them and they begin.

No, I think I’ll stay in tonight

Skip the conversations and the “Oh, I’m fines”

No, I’m no stranger to surprise

This paper town has let me down too many times

And, man. She was good.

Alya was surprised, scared even.

Why do I even try? Give me a reason why

I thought that I could trust you, never mind

Why all the switching sides? Where do I draw the line?

I guess I’m too naive to read the signs

Adrien shifted uncomfortably beside Nino. His gravelly face.

He was sure the music was for them, the class.

For him.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

The screen behind them began to pass photos.

Photos of Marinette that no one in the class had ever seen before.

All they ever do is let me down

Every time I let somebody in

The first photo to appear contained Luka and Marinette hugging each other. Her arms around his neck, their cheeks glued together and his arms around her waist.

The unknown background landscapes. The sun shining bright.

Luka was wearing only a black T-shirt, his hair a mess and the tongue sticking out. Marinette in a black cropped with blue accents, her hair in a bun, eyes closed and a huge smile.

She looked so happy.

Adrien cringed.

Then I find out what they’re all about

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

In the next picture, Chloe and the brunette were sleeping together on a futon, probably in Mari’s room.

Chloe wearing Ladybug pajamas being the small spoon and Marinette Abeille being the big spoon.

Alya tasted the blood.

Wonder where they’re all hidin’ out

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

Gotta get up out of this town

In the third photo, Marinette was sitting on Kagami’s lap while they were taking selfies. The two making funny faces.

Kagami’s hands steady around Marinette.

And that was a shock to Nino.

The ice queen being funny and protective of someone.

Oh, oh

Oh, ah

A picture of the four of them together at a sleepover in what looked like Chloe’s room. Luka had a face mask, Chloe’s hair stuck in bobs, Kagami painting her nails, and Marinette reading a fashion magazine.

All of them on the bedroom floor, sweets and snacks spread and a television on in a black and white film.

The photo was taken by a fifth unknown person.

I stay up, talkin’ to the moon

Been feelin’ so alone in every crowded room

Can’t help but feel like something’s wrong, yeah

'Cause the place I’m livin’ in just doesn’t feel like home

This time it was a video of Marinette in what looked like a kitchen. A huge kitchen. Wearing a black shirt too big to be hers, probably making breakfast.

She had a spatula in her hand, distracted, using it as a microphone while singing something.

The man who had arrived with Bruce Wayne, the one with the black and white hair, joins her singing. They start dancing like crazy around the kitchen.

The video ends with him slipping and falling, Marinette laughing out loud before falling too.

It didn’t even last 20 seconds.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

All they ever do is let me down

Every time I let somebody in

Then I find out what they’re all about

Another video came, this time Marinette is sitting on the grass, surrounded by puppies. Two Great Dane resting their heads on her lap while she pats them.

Damian Wayne joins her and she rests against him.

He looks at the person filming and the filming quickly ends.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

Wonder where they’re all hidin’ out

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

Gotta get up out of this town

The next picture had Marinette in a gym, leggings, black top, hair in a ponytail.

Another of the men who came in with Bruce Wayne, on her shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

She was all skinny muscle.

Nino heard Adrien choke and cough.

I just wanna talk about nothin’

With somebody that means somethin’

Spell the names of all our dreams and demons

For the times that I don’t understand

Marinette this time was in the same kitchen (video), an old man beside her watching her beat the dough in the bowl.

The crowded bench with Damian, Bruce and the other three men, Chloe, Kagami, Luka and… Félix?!

Tell me what’s the point of a moon like this

When I’m alone again

Can I run away to somewhere beautiful

Where nobody knows my name?

There was a joint gagging of class with the pool photo.

Damian felt jealous boil again.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

All they ever do is let me down

I let somebody in

But I find out what they’re all about

The next photo had Jagged Stone, Penny Rolling, Clara Nightingale, Prince Ali, and XY at a picnic. All dressed informally, looking comfortable, smiling at Marinette who was playing with Fang in the background.

And that’s how Ms. Bustier’s class seemed to remember that Jagged didn’t have a cat but a crocodile.

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

All they ever do is let me down

I’m just lookin’ for some real friends

Gotta get up out of this town, yeah

The last picture was of everyone together.

Dupain-Cheng, Waynes, Chloe, Kagami, Luka, Felix, Claude, Allegra, Allan, Jagged, Penny, Clara, Ali, XY. Even Fang and the Great Danes.

Everyone was looking at the camera, smiling excitedly. Marinette in Damian’s arms and a banner with “Joyeux anniversaire, Marinette” in the background.

Oh, oh

Oh, ah

Marinette and Luka ended the song’s last chord when a video, this time with sound, played on the big screen.

“… Let me hear you say, this shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!”

Marinette turns horrified to the big screen.

“This shit is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!” Marinette on the big screen screams along with the music.

The girl throws her arms up, jumping on the bed. The Batman themed pajamas.

“Oh my god, Minette…” the recording person laughs softly so the girl doesn’t hear.

Marinette continues to scream the lyrics, unaware that she is being recorded, until the recording person starts laughing out loud and she gets scared.

“… Jason?” She has a confused expression on her face until she notices the camera and her face becomes homicidal. “Were you recording…?”

The man seems to be scared because the laughter soon dies.

“… No?” he tries.

“Really? So, you don’t mind me taking a look at your phone, do you?” She gets off the bed and goes toward him.

“… Listen, I think Alfred is calling me. Bye!” He runs from her, but doesn’t finish recording.

With him running, the phone only films the confused shapes of the house, but everyone is still able to hear Marinette running after him.

“BACK HERE TODD!”

"NOT! I DON’T WANT TO DIE AGAIN!”

Shooting continues for another two seconds and then ends abruptly.

Luka was laughing openly on stage, Marinette still with her back to the audience, blushing embarrassed and the audience laughing.

And that was how the last night of the Talent Show began.

///

Lila was waiting for her at the backstage.

Marinette knew that an hour would have to face the girl, but did not think she would attack in such an open and public place.

But objectively, this was the only chance she had, since Marinette was leaving Paris that night.

“Should I congratulate you on the engagement, Dupain-Cheng? Or should we talk about your poor attempt to come out on top?” Lila scoffs, the smugness on her face. “Because it didn’t work. They are still eating in the palm of my hand.”

Marinette sighs already tired.

"What do you want, Lila?”

“I just came to brag. I like to throw salt on the wound.”

“That’s good! Because I like it too.” Marinette says, her tone becoming sharp. “Do you really think I would go away and do nothing to unmask you, Lila Rossi?” Lila stiffens the smile. “Or rather, Volpina, the accomplice of Hawkmoth.”

The girl steps back as Marinette approaches.

"What are you talking about?” She countered. “Are you going crazy?”

“Crazy? I? No.” Marinette laughs “I just think it’s funny that you think there would be no consequences helping a terrorist. And no use denying, I know you have been helping Hawkmoth and Mayura all these years. Your best friend, Ladybug, told me.”

The two do not notice Adrien, Nino and Alya coming. Adrien, noticing the situation, prevents Alya from trying to help Lila and forces them both to hear the conversation hidden behind some wood panels.

“… So, what if I helped Hawkmoth?” They hear Lila say. Adrien feels his blood run cold. “I was a minor. A child. You have nothing against me.”

There is a break and Marinette respond.

“That’s where you’re wrong Lila. Gabriel Agreste may have been arrested and refused to speak, but the evidence, Lila, speaks for itself.” Her firm voice “One year, Lila. A year gathering evidence against you and look, I was surprised to learn that I wasn’t the only person you emotionally abused.”

“… What?” Lila whispers looking scared.

“Emilia Shawn’s suicide.” Marinette’s voice comes out like lightning. “Don’t you remember her, Lila? The girl you bullied so much she couldn’t stand and threw herself off the roof of your school in Italy?” Alya was crying on Nino’s shoulder.

“No problem you don’t remember Emilia!” Marinette says very cheerfully “As long as you remember Cassandra. Or Phillip. Marie… Rico.”

“How do you… how do you know those names?” Lila shouts.

“Because unlike you and our lovely classmates, Lila, families didn’t believe their children were abusive monsters and committed suicide because they were sorry.”

There are footsteps, Adrien gets up enough to see what was going on and recognizes Agent Raincomprix with the National Police, surrounding Marinette and Lila.

Damian Wayne appears along with Bruce Wayne alongside Marinette.

“You cannot do that! I was just a child! Children make mistakes!” Lila begins to freak out when she realizes the situation.

“No, Lila. This is murder and terrorism. And you will pay for what you did.” Marinette says.

Damian hugs the brunette in support and she squeezes his arms in thanks.

"Lila Aloisi Rossi, you are arrested for accomplice of murder and terrorism.” The Raincomprix agent says as he holds Lila in handcuffs “You have the right to remain silent. Whatever you say can and will be used against you.”

"What? NO! LET ME GO!” Lila shouts, going crazy as she struggles.

The police soon have to help the agent contain her and before they leave, he turns to Marinette and the Waynes.

“Bruce Wayne, Marinette. Thanks for your help.” He nods. “It’s up to us now.” And leaves.

“Thank you mr. Raincomprix.” Marinette says.

"I’ll go with you guys,” Bruce says and joins the agents.

Meanwhile, Lila was still screaming and kicking through the theater corridors, people leaving to find out what was going on.

Ms. Bustier’s whole class watching.

“YOU HAVE TO UNLEASH ME! I HAVE DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY!” She shouted.

Bruce Wayne, who was right behind the National Police surrounding Lila, looked smug when he spoke.

“Your country has withdrawn your immunity after we have presented the evidence of your crimes, Lila Rossi.” Lila widened her eyes, the panic evident. “You will face justice in full rights.”

Damian believes that all of Paris was able to hear the scream that the Italian gave.

He turned the woman in his arms, needing to look her in the eye.

“It’s over, angel.” He whispers to her, noticing the tear in her eyes.

Marinette sighs, relaxing against him.

“It’s over, Dami. Ended.“

[tag list]

@mystery-5-5 @spicybelladonna @iglowinggemma28 @crazylittlemunchkin@lunaraquaenby @maude-zarella @mooshoon @kuroko26@littleredrobinhoodlum @fanboy7794 @shadowberrybinch @k-rena-k@captainmac6 @clumsy-owl-4178  @tazanna-blythe @vixen-uchiha @zebrabaker @chloe-bourgeois-is-big-gay @artxyra @ellerahs @minightrose@redscarlet95 @soaringowlsstuff @xxkelsey39

[dipplie]

Temporary list of my stories and OC’s until one day I make a comprehensive and well made list:

Blinded:

Polli: My oldest OC and fun fact was my persona till she become edgy and I wasn’t 12 anymore. Everyone’s favorite yes yes I’m aware. Yellow, energetic, eats dirt and bugs, I can’t tell if she’s evil because of a wisp possession or just crazy. Breaks the 4th wall. Is she a Mary Sue???????? Who knows.

Melody: NOT Polli’s girlfriend despite Polli’s delousions. Has an abusive mom :(. Only has one eye and then no eyes and then robot eyes or smthn idk she becomes a badass when she gets older. But otherwise trembling in her shoes all the time.

Melodys Mom/Sharren: Bitch. Okay well all I’ll say is she’s old and grumpy and probably smells bad.

Louise: Total hotty, rich kid, FtM, got bullied as a kid for his weight. Had a squad of fans basically in high school. Lived with his mom after his parents got a divorce but his mom was semi abusive, projected her femininity onto him, and wouldn’t have been supportive of his transition, so between middle and high school he went to live with his dad and got his sex change and testosterone. His best friend in elementary and middle school stopped talking to him after his transition, and became his competition for the most attractive and sought after boy in school (except Louise is a sweetheart while his friend Tommy is a dick and really gross) His dad runs a company that specializes in technology, and after meeting and falling in love with Melody (even after all her abusive trauma and losing both her eyes) he has his dad and some of the developers create a way to get her vision back and I mean honestly I love him how could you not love him he’s so perfect.

Watching:

Fick: Big nerd boy with thick glasses. I feel like he’d use Reddit but don’t quote me on that. Big crush on Vivinya. Boy don’t wander into the woods- oh look dead body with a curse on it don’t touch it- aaaand now he has a wisp that makes him kill people, way to go kid. Panic attack central.

Vivinya: True crime girl, yucky yucky. Probably had a knife collection. “uwu I’m insane” except she actually is and starts using Fick to kill people for her and treats him like her “Yandere boyfriend” or something cringe and gross oh god. She deserves jail. JAIL. Needs to learn guys need to give consent too. Just overall sucks 1/10.

Tommy: I mentioned him early to be Louises ex best friend and rival. He used to have a crush on Louise actually but that don’t excuse being a BITCH!!!! Also needs to learn people gotta give consent he is just as gross as Vivinya. Cheats on all the girls he gets with because he’s again, a bitch. Idk if he deserved to get murdered though I mean he was still a teenager but it’s fine. Thinks of the song Seventeen from Heathers actually this story does feel a tad reminiscent of heathers with vivinya being a crazy and wanting to off a bunch of students. Huh.

Suzannie: Tommy’s older sister who’s a detective. What a coincidence. Monotone and depressed. Probably because her little brother got murdered. Gets real awkward when she’s talking about her brothers murder(s) to Fick and Vivinya like “when I find who did this to him they’ll regret being born”. Kind of really pretty actually.

Adolescents (there isn’t actually a story here yet but don’t worry about it shhhh):

Nelson: HIMBO HIMBO H- Jock stupid idiot big dork god he’s so awkward and his main personality trait is having a crush on Naomi and being a dork when talking to her. Probably could benchpress you.

Naomi: Gamer or something and a nerd geek. Her main personality trait is having a crush on Nelson and also being a dork when talking to him. Probably a weeb and fandom dweller. Can’t draw but she commissions artists to draw. She does write copious amounts of fanfiction though.

Andrés: Ohhh the school bad boy babyyyy. Baseball bat with nails in it or something. There’s like... A thing between him in Charlotte and he wants to be a thing but she’s being difficult and makes it hard to talk to her or about her and ugh.

Charlotte: Princess, high school princess. She’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her- but she’s a diva. Ballerina after school. Best friends with Naomi and doesn’t know what she’s talking about when she mentions ships or OTPs but she listens anyways because she’s a good friend. There’s like... A thing between her and Andrés but she doesn’t know if she’s super into him but geez he’s really hot but she gets such mixed responses when she asks her friends about it and what if it doesn’t work outttt.

Marlon: They/Them but they’re okay with either pronouns they aren’t sure yet, he or she is okay... Box boy box boy. Autism... He doesn’t want to admit He’s attracted to men but he’s totally attracted to men. He lives alone which is probably illegal for his age but somehow he manages. Everyone thinks he’s “the quiet kid” and he’s really sad about it no don’t make jokes like that please guys ahh-

Sing for Me:

Kat: The color pink, addahadda(adhd), angry and loud and short. For being only like 10 and being an adorable little lesbian dressing in sparkly pink dresses she actually likes screaming a lot and would totally sing heavy metal if her producers let her. Loud and mad but gets so soft around her girlfriend. “If anything happens to Brie I’m killing everyone in this room and then myself”.

Brie: French... Birds and stuff. Loves her girlfriend even though she is so loud. So fast. So much. Likes to write pretty things. Is only like an inch taller than Kat. Filled with so much love for everything.

Elliot: The girls manager. Lots of coffee. Stressed out of his MIND please help this man. Probably gay. Seems like a smug dick but he is just a tall and lanky dork that loves puppies and wants nothing more than for Kat and Brie to be happy. Accidentally brands them as sisters and then Kat kisses Brie and- oh fuck oh shit oh no what has he done. Hides the fan and non fan responses from them. Poor guy.

Horror Hosts:

Ichabod: Hot demon who’s the son of the current ruler of hell or something. I mean he’s hot, smart, and royalty, what more do you want. I very specifically hear the dub voice of Kyoya Ootori from OHHC as his voice don’t @ me. Goat legs????? Yeah??? Don’t be rude.

Barnabie: Ohhhhhhhhh big orc teddy bear I’m crying I love him????? He puts up a more confident ploy and the given stereotypical personality orcs supposedly have but he’s just a shy boy that wants to give girls flowers and call boys pretty. Help him.

Garrison: Gary Burger. Fat hairy gay man. I mean werewolf. Wouldn’t it be funny if I made the whole werewolf thing backwards and made him transform into a HUMAN only on the full moon??? Party animal, pun absolutely intended. LOUD AND FUNNY he’s a dork. Bites. Horny on main Garrison please you’re supposed pamper and flirt with the guests but not quite that much.

Vincenzo: Token Vampire but he’s Italian because I felt like it. Talk and lanky of course. Bitch face. Blood coffee? Yeah lots of coffee. Tired. Let him sleep in Ichabod. Steps on people. Can summon and reanimate corpses but has a bitter attitude towards them because they get annoyed with him as much as he gets annoyed with- everyone else. He does have a soft spot but idk where it is. When he’s talking to guests he’s more suave and sexy though.

Kai: Genderfluid haha get it because slime fluid-... I’ll stop. Probably objectively the hottest because they can look anyway they want and shift their vocals to sound like almost anything, also probably objectively the best in bed (if you’re okay with the texture of Jell-o) and honestly come on save some for the rest of us it’s not fair. This boy can SING oh my god seranade me and whisper in my ear baby. Spunky and sassy.

Hallvor: BABY OCTOPOD BOY OHHHHH I LOVE HIM HE’S SO SWEET AND IS AN ANGEL DARLING BOY SO EMBARRASSED SO SHY SOFTEST VOICE OHHH- ohhh nooo he’s got a knife ohhhhh Hallvor baby don’t be like that ohhhh... Used to work in hentai actually (I wonder why) but quit because of immoral practices and good for him we love that. Okay he’s not actually a yandere or whatever but he DEFINITELY wants to squeeze you a little too hard and has those crazy eyes.

Carla: Main character of this OHHC monster clone. She sucks I don’t like her because listen listen she kills monsters as a living and when she tries to kill our boys here, Ichabod catches her and goes “no” but then the rest (not knowing her murderous intent) fall in love with her and Ichabod is like: “shoot well I’ll keep you alive and around but I’m watching you” and blah blah romance and feelings and character development and wow she seems like she’s grown to care about them... So Ichabod removes a curse he put to prevent her from harming them or leaving... AND THEN SHE STABS THEM ALL IN THE BACK IM CRYING. I mean she might have an extra reason for needing to kill them but I haven’t decided if I want to actually put it in the story yet so.

Fingertips:

Maria/Marianna: Was this goth angry chick and the head of these losers but after a failed heist, fire, and being betrayed and dropped from a window on a 3rd or 4th story down into flames, and going to the hospital and changing her name, she changed totally and become a soft pretty girl... And then the next three boys went “HEY BOSS WE FOUND YOU” and she went “oh no” and now she’s just an anxious wreck like “no no no no no I don’t shoot people in the face anymore no no no no no” And has a fear of hands. Also was Diamontés best friend in primary school and yes all these characters went to the K-12 school all the other characters do/did. Pretty voice. The story is mostly about her being anxious around all the other characters because who was it that betrayed her and dropped her into the flames below? Find out next week on th-

Nikki: He’s that character that you see and immediately go “oh he’s gross and is angry and is a bitch” and you’re right he is and has a cockney accent and screams a lot and probably swings a knife around a lot, but he’s got a sweet interior (somewhere in there... somewhere) Screamo heavy metal. Him and the rest of these character briefly talked about having a band and then they didn’t and then at the end of the story they do and although he plays guitar mostly, if he does do lead vocals he screams a lot. Bitch.

Anthony: Pretty boy but like the “was in the army” pretty boy vibe. Probably played football in highschool. Pyromaniac. Punches Nikki a lot. Almost gives himbo vibes sometimes, almost. Kind of likes the old timey cozy aesthetic. Plays the piano sometimes but “oh I’m not very good at it” Plays extremely well

Diamonté: TALL. Purple goth boy aesthetic hellll yeahhhh. CRAZY EYES AND THEY SPEAK VOLUMES WATCH OUT. Drums. The scary kind of quiet because he just smiles at you. Crowbar. Okay but he’s actually really sweet though. Secretly loves watching Anthony and Nikki get into fights so that’s why he rarely puts a stop to it. I think he’s a sadist. Can be a gentle giant, but can also be a not so gentle giant. The only time he’s really talkative is after copious amounts of booze.

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: Literally a pimp and he’s pretty gross. Blonde hair and pink and white clothes.

Unnamed/Undesigned 2: Chick that likes to throw knives and be angry and threatens Marianna a lot but in a quiet and monotone way, Marianna is pretty scared and hopes that these are just shallow threats uhhhhh.

Unnamed/Undesigned 3: Sells guns (without a lisence of course) and wears a bandana over his face a lot. Tired. Grumpy.

Unnamed/Undesigned 4: Like Marianna, was cold hearted and cool but then got caught in the fire and got all soft. He only has one eyes but how sweet his eyepatch is a heart. Recoved along side Marianna and they are good friends good friends tha- wait Marianna are you going back with them oh god you can’t do that oh dear oh no oh-

(I don’t have a story or name for these two but they’re my comfort ship OC’s and my current hyper fixaction right now):

Rodriquéz: I literally designed him with almost all the traits I find attractive in a guy other than freckles so as you can imagine I find him super HOT. I also designed his personality on what I find attractive from a guy so as you can imagine I find him super GREAT. But anyways he’s grumpy and closed off and monotone and smug. I really could go on for hours about how I want him to step on me I’m so sorry guys. Both him and Samantha give the “21 and having immature fun” vibes. They’re a thing but they like going to bars together and splitting off and doing their own thing (or doing someone else’s thing if you get what I mean haHhahHhahGahGhaha-) But so help them if anyone doesn’t oblige by the “no” from one of these two, someone’s gonna get beat up.

Samantha: (She literally just my personality shhhhh don’t tell anyone it’s a secret) Bubbly, energetic, a little shy by extroverted, bombshell blonde or something? It took me way too much time and effort to design her but I’m really happy with how I finally designed her, I love her outfit. She could kick me in the face and I’d say thank you. Girly drinks at the bar. Got that trauma and anxiety™️ secretly though. Skips and jumps a lot. As I’m typing this I keep looking up at the drawing of her and more and more I would want her to also step on me.

(Space Story I don’t have a nice title for):

Unnamed/Undesigned 1: So... Funny story this story originally was with me and uh... My ex I guess... So I gotta replace the MC’s... Whoops ahaha... Awkward. But anyways the MC is a robot and a girl and is a slight tsundere or smthn.

Unamed/Undesigned 2: Has a space ship, works for this organization in space that protects the galaxy. Is cocky, lazy, sly, oblivious, and an idiot. The love interest- obviously. Probably accidentally committing space crimes. (Like space pirating hAHAHA-) Kind of cool when he wants to be.

Dandelion/Dandy: CAT. WITH A JET PACK. Kind of an asshole. Fun fact used to be Polli’s cat but then when the Second MC crash landed on earth she was like “fuck this noise I’m going with space boy laterz” (okay she can’t talk but she thought it).

Zizii: Lesbian alien? Yeah???? Okay but I mean her main character trait is being a dorky back alley doctor and engineer obsessed with the MC because they’re a sentient robot with emotions and a lazer arm and rocket boots WOW!!!!!!!!

Story I want to revive:

So I had a story I started writing a long time ago about this tech theatre kid that had a crush on this other theatre kid character, but in a play that other character has to kiss another person for the show, and as the story progresses the MC convinces themselves that it isn’t just a play and that their crush actually loves and is kissing that other kid. And in the play, that other character is supposed to die. Show night comes along and they die, but like actually, and by the hands of the MC (Idk maybe like a light falls on em or smthn). So it’s a grotesque scene the audience sees as just an act. (Mutters I dunno I think my idea’s cool...) So I’ve been wanting to design these characters and work more on the story but I’m busy being obsessed with Rodriquez and Samantha so. (And the Horror Host Club too I love them too still).

Other Characters that either don’t have a specific story or are kind of like background characters:

Jacqueiliquinne Merril: Sara Berry vibes from 35mm (go look up The Ballad of Sara Berry, maybe like an animatic idk the first one that comes up is nice) But otherwise rich, pretty, popular, bitch. Tries to like, steal Louise from his squad and it’s like bro that’s unnecessary who hurt you that’s so rude. She gives Nui from Kill La Kill Vibes too. Oh she knows her name is long and annoying but you have to say the whole thing.

Brianna: Jaqueiliquinne’s sister. Big titty goth gf??? She’s pretty popular too and kind of a bitch too but to a much lesser degree. Her and he sister throw hands a lot when no one is around, you know, “THEY GIRLS ARE FIGHTINNGGGG”.

The Louise Fan Club: 4 characters I haven’t named yet. One writes fanfiction of Louise and shares it with the others and with him sometimes and although he thinks it’s a bit weird he also finds it a tad endearing and supports her. One is an aspiring photographer and is constantly asking Louise to model for him. One is an artist and draws Louise all the time. And one is an aspiring musician who writes songs based of Louise’s relationships which again he finds a little weird but endearing and supports her.

The Jacquiliquinne Merril Fan Club: Genderbent-ish (I say ish because one of the characters is a little bit less defined gender wise) versions of the Louise Fan Club. Yes I’m lazy, and no they don’t get along with them, infact they hate each others club with a passion. 

Unnamed/Undesigned: I wanna make some hacker kid just because I wanna have one.

Unnamed/Undesigned: I also really wanna have a super cutesy magical girl and then a really super duper generic boring character probably like star vs the forces of evil idk I never watched that show but it looks cute.

Me: I exist in the universe fukc you I can do what I want it’s my story and I get to chose the who also if you wanna be in the mess of a universe go ahead draw yourself with my OC’s I allow and encourage and appreciate it. I literally made the Horror Host Club as a sort of Harem story and you are absolutely allowed to make out with them if you’re a monster fucker DO it GO ahead it’s canon.

and that is ALL I have FOR now Knowing me I’ll make like 12 more characters by July, and I mean I need more characters for the high school anyways so...

[xxisxxisxxis]

Deleted Scene: Gateway Drug

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"Monster In-Law" -- [1981]

My stomach is in uncomfortable knots as I rub foundation over my skin, nervously, trying not to shit myself with anxiety as the clock nears 7:00pm. 

I hope he's not late, but I also hope he doesn't even show. 

"I wonder if it's Luke Ginson." I hear my mother suggest to my father, the sound of clicking silverware lets me know they're setting the table, and I wrinkle my nose. 

"You think Vivian would be interested in the Preacher's son, Charlette?" My dad replies, doubt in his voice. 

"I hope so. He's a Godly young man, Johnny, that our Vivian would be lucky to go with." She replies and I have to hold back a scoff. 

Luke Ginson was our pastor's son but was just as debauched as Vince, Tommy and Nikki, only hiding behind the fact his dad was a preacher as a cover. I'd later find out my mom and Pastor Garret had planned on approaching me and Luke with the idea of going out. I wonder if she felt like an absolute idiot for thinking he was so much better for me than Nikki when Luke popped up in the obituary in 1988 after dying of a methadone overdose…

"Vivian would be lucky to go out with?" My dad questions her. "Any guy is lucky to even be breathing the same air as her, Charlette, don't act like our girl is so--"

"--I'm not." My mom insists. "She just needs a little push in the right direction."

"And Luke Ginson is the right direction?"

"Of course!" She says it as if she's offended he'd dare suggest otherwise, and I let out a heavy breath, my nerves only tensing up more. 

She thinks I'm bringing her Lord and Savior Luke Ginson to dinner...great. 

I'm ready just in time, hearing the door of Nikki's beat up car shut outside. 

I'm darting down the stairs, glad that my parents haven't noticed, and open the door before he can ring the doorbell. 

He's dressed as nice as he can be, jeans, a tshirt, and his leather jacket. 

"Hi." He says, smiling at me, looking me up and down. "You look hot." 

"Thank you." I reply, my eyes catching on the rosary around his neck. "Oh, no, she can't see that, we're Assembly of God, she's gonna think you're Catholic." I mumble as I quickly tuck it into his shirt as my mom says, "Vivian, is he here?" A little too excitedly. 

"Um, yes ma'am, coming!" I call, looking at Nikki.

"Relax, babe, I got this." He assures me deviously as we step inside and I lead him to the dining room, gulping when I meet my mother's eyes as she steps in with a pitcher of lemonade. 

She sets her sights on Nikki and drops the dish, causing the heavy glass to break and lemonade to slosh onto the floor, and I keep myself from squeezing my eyes closed to retreat to my mind. 

"Charlette, honey, be more care--" My dad stops talking when he walks in to see Nikki, "--ful." He finishes, immediately going into salvage mode. "H-Hey, hi," he smiles widely at Nikki, seeming to be amused with my choice of date, "I'm Johnny." My dad extends his hand. 

"Nikki." Nikki takes it. 

"Johnny, Vivian, a word, please." My mom says, obviously seething. 

"Oh, Charlette, we don't have time...the steaks will get cold." He tells her to save me, and she stomps into the kitchen before he looks at me. 

"Thank you." I mouth and he winks at me. 

"She was expecting someone else." My dad tells Nikki, putting an arm around his shoulder and patting him as we step to the table. 

Nikki finds this humorous and snorts a little, causing me to glare at him because it's not funny. 

"Would you like something to drink, Nikki?" I ask quietly as my dad wipes up the lemonade and gets what pieces of glass he can get off the floor. 

"I really don't think your parents have Jack, do they?" He mumbles and I shake my head a little, smiling sadly at him. "I'm in hell." He adds as I chuckle. "Whatever you guys have is fine with me." He says next and I nod, heading to the kitchen to grab him a soda from the fridge. 

My mom's angrily preparing to bring the plate of steaks to the table, her red lips in an almost snarl as she glances at me. 

"This is not what we do, Vivian." She states to me and I roll my eyes. 

"Mom--"

"--You know better than to get in with the likes of him." She keeps on.

"I know he's not Luke freaking Ginson, mom, but he's good to me and I really like him." 

"Oh, he's good to you?" She asks with a mocking laugh, turning to face me with her hands on her hips. 

"Yes, he is." I stand by what I said. 

"Your Aunt Lily is rolling in her grave at the sound of you giving props to the same type of man that completely wrecked her life, and eventually took it away from her altogether." She hisses, turning back around to grab the plate, while I'm struck speechless. "Grab the fries and string beans." She tells me, walking back out to the table. 

I push my tears back and grab the beans, sitting them next to the steaks as I hand Nikki his soda, next. 

"Looks good." He comments about the food. 

"Very good." Dad puts in next, sitting down. "Thank you, Charlette." He says next in reference to her helping with dinner. 

"Who would like to say prayer?" She ignores him, her eyes glassed with tears the longer she looks at Nikki and I next to each other.

"I will." Dad says, and I bow my head and close my eyes. "Father, in heaven, I pray. Forgive me of my sins, Lord. Thank you for continuing to bless us with new opportunities to meet and love on others. Thank you for your comforting hand, and not leaving one tear that's been shed recently over Lilian, unacknowledged. I pray that you continue to keep your hand over this family, protect us and those we love, but above all, I pray whatever your will is, let it be done. Thank you for this meal we are so fortunate to have, may it nourish and strengthen our bodies so our bodies may continue to be used unto your service. In Christ Jesus' name I pray. Amen." He finishes. 

"Amen." Mom and I echo, and Nikki looks at me, already chewing steak, letting me know he started eating during the blessing. 

My mother notices, too, her hand tightening around her fork.

My dad just shrugs it off before asking him, "So, Nikki, what is it you do for a living, or are you in school?" My dad asks him and my mom rudely scoffs as if it's impossible that Nikki's in college currently. 

"No, I'm kinda doing odd jobs. Right now I'm telemarketing." He explains. 

“Is that what the kids are calling drug dealing nowadays?” My mom remarks, snidely.

“Mom.” I say, shooting daggers her way and she raises her brows.

“What, I’m just asking a legitimate question, Vivian.” She tells me, raising her brows. “What, with the knotted, unnaturally black hair, eye liner and uncomfortably ripped pants that make him look like he got caught in a barbed wire fence while escaping a prison, I think it’s safe to assume he enjoys listening to the same sex, alcohol and drug endorsing music as--”

“--Charlette.” My dad sighs out, looking at her as if to say, “seriously?”

“And don’t even get me started on the rosary hiding under his shirt.” She promptly points out and he and I both tense up. “Not only did you bring home an imbecile, Vivian, but a Catholic imbecile.” She sarcastically congratulates me. “I’m sure God is so very pleased with you.” She adds and I wince as she abruptly corrects herself, looking at Nikki as she says, “or, as you Catholics believe, ‘Mother Mary.”

“Mom--”

“--Do you not feel ridiculous believing that you have to plead with dead disciples and Mary to talk to God on your behalf because simply going to God directly in prayer isn’t enough. Because I assure you, what, with the ‘Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of the womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death’, I promise you she’s looking down at your ignorance and telling you to just talk to Jesus or God yourself because she’s a woman, and men don’t listen--not even the divine.” She states, and my father has his face buried in his hands, and I can tell my expression is mortified as my mom just casually starts cutting her steak while Nikki just keeps his amused grin on his lips.

“No, my prayers are usually done in the dead of night in a discreet location in the hills, with the sacrificial offering of a virgin with the entirety of the Sunset Strip nightlife in attendance while Blackie Lawless sings 'I Fly Away’ backwards while wearing a goat carcass.” He tells her without skipping a beat. 

Her jaw clenches, her eye twitching as me and my dad are both sitting, paralyzed, and I feel the color draining from my face by the second. 

"Then you have no business associating yourself with my daughter." My mom quips, staring at him resentfully.

"Mmm, she's our latest sacrificial virgin." Nikki replies and my mother slams her fork onto her plate, throwing her napkin onto the table. 

"I need fresh air." She states in a hiss, going to the door and slamming it. 

We all just sit in silence for a moment, before Nikki looks at my dad. 

"I'm not really using her as a sacrificial virgin." He tells him, and my dad raises a brow. 

"I figured being that it wouldn't do much good." My dad mumbles. "Well, kids, moments like these I wish I wouldn't have stopped drinking." He sighs out next, standing. "I'm sorry for her mother's lack of manners and boundaries. She wasn't always like this." He assures Nikki. "And no matter your beliefs--it's not our business--as long as Vivian's comfortable…" he says next and Nikki nods as if he's thinking about it before my dad opens the door to go talk my mom down.

[bobdylanrevisited]

Blonde On Blonde

Released: 20 June 1966

Rating: 10/10

The finale of the electric trilogy, another masterpiece that pushes the boundaries of Dylan’s singing and penmanship. He described this album as the closest he’s ever gotten to the noises in his head, a thin mercury sound, metallic and bright gold. It was also the first double sided rock album, and his first without an acoustic track, with Dylan continuing to blaze a trail in popular music. Although this album may not be as ‘deep’ as its predecessors, it’s still a thrilling musical adventure that again makes you forget his folk origins, and embrace his role as the leader of a new style of ‘pop’ song. 

1) Rainy Day Women No. 12 & 35 - The look on people’s faces when the album opened with this must have been one to behold, it sounds nothing like the Bob we know and love. It’s more like a Mardi Gras parade, with trumpets blaring and the band’s joyous screams, all revolving around a pun on the word ‘stoned’. It’s a brilliant opener, both upbeat, funny, and unlike anything that came before it. Whether the song refers to weed, hedonism, his pious status, or the ancient punishment, it’s hard to argue that ‘everybody must get stoned’. 

2) Pledging My Time - A severe change of gear for this track, a much slower blues number, which reworks a number of older blues lyrics, to describe the promise to a lover in the hopes that they will reciprocate the feeling. It’s a fine song, though it does get somewhat lost on the album due to the longevity many of the other tracks have endured. 

3) Visions Of Johanna - Generally agreed to be one of the finest songs ever written, it’s no wonder this has remained one of Dylan’s favourites ever since. It’s a colossal piece, proving that no matter what instruments are on the track, the writing is still the soul of what Dylan is doing. Not only are the vocals among the best he’s ever recorded, the song weaves a vivid picture of his strive for perfection. Much like the previous two albums, Bob uses metaphor and surreal imagery to express personal emotion and you can’t help but hang on his every word. You are transported into a dreamlike state, also searching for Johanna and your own personal idea of flawlessness, though for me that may very well just be this song. 

4) One Of Us Must Know (Sooner Or Later) - A song about the ending of a relationship, which should be a bleak affair, but I can’t help but singalong and grin as I listen to this brilliant tune. Although it dissects and defends bad behaviours that caused the couple to sour, the instrumentation and the rousing chorus are a joy to hear, and it’s easily one of my favourite tracks on the album. 

5) I Want You - At odds with the previous track, this a sweet love song, once again populated my characters and imagery that only Dylan could conjure up. Much like the rest of the album, the tune and melody of this song are remarkably beautiful, and this is certainly Dylan’s most musically ambitious, yet accessible album so far, with this track being another highlight. The song has also been reworked a lot live, and sounds just as beautiful as a ballad, which Dylan played a lot in the late 80s/early 90s. 

6) Stuck Inside Of Mobile With The Memphis Blues Again - I think this may be my favourite song on the album, with apologies to Johanna. Whilst it’s simply just another surreal story with a mad cast of people, I absolutely adore it. Again, the tune is catchy and fun, the singing is perfect, and the whole thing comes together to be a track that fills me with indescribable happiness. The live Hard Rain 1976 version is also phenomenal, it’s impossible for this song to sound anything other than amazing. 

7) Leopard-Skin Pill-Box Hat - A satire on fashion, and a lover continuing to wear her new hat in increasingly compromising situations, this is another blues song with a great guitar arrangement and sounded brilliant on the 1966 Live tour. It’s not one of my favourites on the album, but it’s a good song that talks of jealousy and materialism, with the bluesy sound being the main attraction. 

8) Just Like A Woman - Potentially written about Edie Sedgwick, this sounds like one of Dylan’s tenderest songs, but the lyrics are actually full of vulnerability and regret. One of Bob’s most popular songs, possibly due to the gentle tune and the grounded imagery, I’ve personally always found it a tiny bit overrated in comparison with the rest of the album, though I understand it is an easy introduction to Dylan for the average listener. However, I will admit that the song is spellbinding when performed live, particularly on the 1966 tour. 

9) Most Likely You Go Your Way And I’ll Go Mine - A very literal tale of a breakup, this is again another song that feels joyous despite the content. The guitars and drums add a very fun layer to the tune, and it’s another track that hasn’t got a deep message, but is just a brilliantly sung rock song that helps make this album the most musically enjoyable yet. 

10) Temporary Like Achilles - Another blues number about a breakup and a new lover. There’s not much to write about this one, other than it’s again a fun tune, this time revolving around a double entendre: ‘honey, why are you so hard?’

11) Absolutely Sweet Marie - This is another catchy tune, and whilst it’s still influenced by the blues, it is more upbeat. Much like the previous track it’s full of innuendo, but it sounds like a ‘pop’ song that you may hear on the radio, with a more restrained style of singing from Bob. It’s another fine song which would be considered more a filler track, if not for the line ‘to live outside the law you must be honest’, which is one of his most quoted lyrics. It shows that even when he’s not telling a mad story or protesting injustice, he’s still the world’s best songwriter and can toss legendary lines into a largely throwaway song. 

12) Fourth Time Around - Written as a response to The Beatles ‘Norwegian Wood’, Dylan uses this dark tale of a lover’s fight to take aim at John Lennon’s ‘new’ style of writing, that sounded an awful lot like it had been stolen from Bob. Musically, it is the same as ‘Norwegian Wood’, with the last line warning ‘I never asked for your crutch, now don’t ask for mine’. Basically, Bob’s telling John not to take his style, whilst also perfectly showing the world that he’s still the best at storytelling and his brand of unique phrasing. This song would haunt John Lennon for some time, as he was paranoid about Dylan’s feelings towards him, but in the end Lennon went in a new direction and Bob remained friends with The Beatles, so any beef seem to be short lived.

13) Obviously Five Believers - Much like previous tracks, another bluesy tune with lyrics about a relationship and wild backing musicians, this is a good little song to dance and singalong with. Robbie Robertson’s guitar playing is particularly impressive on this track, and his playing throughout the whole album is one of the highlights. 

14) Sad Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands - Bob had married Sara Lownds three months earlier, and this 11 minute poem of love, beauty, strength, and heavenly romance is an incredible tribute to her. Though much of the album is filled with sombre lyrics about relationships ending and striving for a perfect woman, the closing track is all about how Bob has found what he has been searching for. It’s a gorgeous song that is not only some of his most heartfelt writing, it’s a uncompromising wedding vow that is full of genuine emotion and is brimming with positivity, something Dylan doesn’t often write about. It’s an incredible conclusion to the album, and to this period of his career. 

Verdict: Once again, my hyperbolic words can’t do this album or career period justice, for a 25 year old to release three culture changing masterpieces in the space of 15 months is unfathomable. Whilst it could seem somewhat ‘sell out’ with the more radio friendly songs, the whole album is just a thrillingly perfect journey through Dylan’s emotions and experiences, relationships ending, searching for meaning, and finally finding happiness. This album once again includes some of the best songs and singing of his entire career, and the overall sound throughout the record is much more mature and composed. Even the tracks that seem a little more filler are still brilliantly written songs that eclipsed the popular music that was being released at the time. The album is my (joint) second favourite thing he’s ever released, and sadly it would be the last of this particular ‘Bob Dylan’, as he was once again about to cocoon and re-emerge a new man. Following a motorcycle accident in 1966, and his settling down with his new wife and children, the rock ‘n’ roll lifestyle was about to be abandoned for a more mellow, more relaxed, and more ‘country’ sound. 

[lgcyonghwa]

happy anniversary!

warning: this post is LONG AF! next year i am so not gonna do this - will make a graphic or something instead - because i legit typed for hours. don’t feel obligated to read the whole thing - feel free to scroll down to the sections where you are mentioned. 

holy ravioli, i can’t believe legacy is turning one! the last year was chaotic for me real life wise and legacy provided a great place to escape and enjoy writing with my friends. i chatted with so many of you wonderful people and have no doubt i’ll be missing some on this list. if i happen to skip you by accident, just know i love you anyway.

both of my muses went through a lot. yonghwa i’ve had since the very beginning and his journey did turn out differently than i expected. i created him to be perfect on the outside, slowly rotting on the inside. he has a lot of insecurities that he refuse to acknowledge and a crippling greed for money...to the point i legit created a list of free stuff available at legacy and still track his earning. he ended up not deteriorating horribly as i expected due to having an overwhelmingly strong support system. dang it, y’all, i wanted to fuck up my character. 

as for daehyung, he’s proven to be the ticking time bomb comedic relief asshole that everyone can’t help but respect for not having his ass kicked out of the company already love - he’ll continue to be a pest and harass people that he find fancy in. career wise, i am surprised he is doing so well despite hating the world and most of the people in it. guess deep down inside he actually cares about acting and finds joy in it. one day, hopefully, he’ll be singing his own ost. 

i would like to thank our cute sara, who played yonghwa’s brother @lgcyoon​ and currently plays @lgcseojin and @lgchana​~ sara was one of the first people i plotted with at legacy and i really enjoyed the friendship between seojin & yonghwa. seojin was an adorable tsundere pupper and yonghwa is over-affectionate and secretly appreciated. they had their ups and downs and in season 2 of the future dreams, that really came out. i am glad they were able to work through their issues and i think that is why their friendship feels so believable to him. seojin also had a part in daehyung’s life...can we get that communal shower yet, buddy? yoon, though you are too busy to play him now, will always be yonghwa’s doting older brother. i don’t think i’ll put up that wanted connection again because yoon is so perfect and yonghwa already latched onto him with both legs and arms. 

second up, i gotta thank my girl gabby for always being there. @lgcparkdohyun and yonghwa’s brotherly bond is incredibly strong and in fact, one of my best plots to date. we’ve essentially plotted them out from diaper days and they are as close as two guys could be without screwing each other, really. we’ve also been here since the beginning together and high fives man, our boys technically both made it. 

@lgcxcharlie is yonghwa’s supportive girlfriend and she is so adorable. a much needed ray of light in his life. funny thing is that they met a long time ago, via bread. did charlie know that she’ll end up getting a boyfriend out of her kind bread donation? see, this is what happens when you feed a hungry cat - he’ll keep following you for more. now you are just going to have to keep him~

for my beloved rose who plays @lgcjude, @lgcjina and @lgcwon, i love youuu. with them on tour together and sharing a room, i hope jude is not annoyed yet by the fact yonghwa keeps on climbing into his bed. as for jina - hello, fellow season one winner, high fives. they might have to keep some distance due to opposite gender, but at least they’ll always have that respect for each other. now won, sorry, the devil is never letting you gooooooo. he’ll continue to harass you for years to come. 

@lgcseolmi​ + @lgcichika​ & @lgckit​ - my typo queen nam~ we haven’t known each other for very long but damn did you rise quickly on my favoritism list. i love you lots, even though you are a dork who can’t spell anything right! :3c we’ve threaded already with the girls and now i am waiting for the new baby boy!

my al is the best person for cat gifs ever. every so often, i’d get a cute gif and feel my happiness grow. in fact, like we talked before, you send me so many cat pics that i believe you are a cat and will treat you like one. pet pet pet pet! @lgcinsoo​ and @lgcyue​ are both great babies, but you know i have bias towards our insoo. he is such a kind, loving puppy and both of my characters appreciate him. one more obviously than the other. 

em, how the hell do you post so fast even though you got three characters? also, how on the earth have we managed to talk so long without doing a single thread together? oh wait, shoot, it is me isn’t it? @lgcaaron​ is still waiting on his starter and my ass typed this long af thank you note instead of that hohoho-

i still have so many boys i want to interact with for the project origin group but those i’ve already had a chance to thread with, i’ve all loved. our @lgcxpv​ is a wild child but so precious in yonghwa’s eyes. we’ll always have their shower scene to reflect back on. also, your precious max is one of dae’s only semi-acknowledged friends. our @lgcxhaneul​ is the sweet mandu that will keep on getting squished by his loving hyung. we love @lgcseul​ who deserves all the hugs and @lgcminjun​, who will definitely become one of yonghwa’s favorites. @lgcjiho​ & @lgcharu​ are both soft cute boys that i am still planning on hitting up more.

though we’ve only had one thread, i strangely really enjoyed the interaction between yonghwa and @lgceunho​. i feel like they still have more to explore and hopefully will find themselves together in a future event!

also jia, we’ve been around since the very beginning too. i miss writing together. @lgchyunjin​ should come and love on yonghwa more. ; v ; we are the early day boys ya knowwwww. i enjoyed chatting with you on twitter, can always count on you to be around liking people’s posts to show support. 

lately, i’ve also gotten to plot with @lgcsubin​, who is a sensitive boy with depth. i love his character and i hope to write more with you, nic! also, thanks for being around and asking what’s wrong whenever people are upset. i think it is so precious.

stef, i am so glad you joined legacy and see, it is fun, right? daehyung will continue to bully @lgcxjunghwan​ but he does it in an affectionate way, alright? love to lulu ( @lgcminseok​) & simone (@lgctee​) for always being there to chat about stuff~

jen, thanks for teaching me how to gif. i’ve enjoyed our chats via discord and we should do it again sometimes KEKEKEKEKE @lgcxjinah​ and @lgcxjongsuk​ both have their places on my character’s heart - i love them both!

here, i just want to acknowledge some of the people that dropped but still had a huge impact on yonghwa’s life. i don’t know how many of y’all will remember them, but back in the day, yonghwa had a best friend called kiyoung and a crush on yujin. when those two dropped at the same time, oh, that was a huge blow. thank them both for being a part of his life. also, jane was a heavy loss for me because i adore her quirkiness. bobby come back, you can blame it all on me. 

lastly, i want to thank all of the mods for their hard working maintaining the rp! thanks so much, legacy wouldn’t be fun without you! 

for the head admins, i have a few extra blurbs because we’ve been together for a whole year. for our admin l, you’ve worked hard. it is not easy to run events and i feel like i’ve definitely pushed you with some difficult questions before. i am glad we are friends and get to chat often about random tidbits. i am also happy you are taking time for yourself and taking care of real life concerns. your wellness is always the priority! character wise, i have a feeling @lgcmiso​ and daehyung will actually get along well~ 

marie because i can’t even remember what is your official admin letter OTL i just remember you as the mother of merlin and writer of @lgcxking​. it is not like i don’t like jin, but that king is the one i had the most threads with. i really love yonghwa and king interaction because in a place where everyone must be civil and friendly, their hate for each other is so damn refreshing. i still think five years from now on they’ll be friends, but not before trying to claw out each other’s eyeballs first over their smutty fanfics. sorry for keep harassing hyuncheol and calling him papi, please continue to feed me merlin content. he is the best boy. 

FINALLY admin g our grace you are so awesome. i can always count on you to hear me bitch for the two minutes before my angy fade and for last minute cramming. on the week before date lottery is due and i am wailing pathetically for my points, grace is always here to pull through! @lgchanbyul​ and yonghwa as on screen couple is actually pretty adorbs. also @lgcjaesun​, thanks for dealing with daehyung as a dorm mate. the devil is gone now but his influence will always be there

i have so many more people i want to mention but only so much time. just know i appreciate everyone. thanks for a great year, hopefully there’ll be many more!

[thewatsonbeekeepers]

Chapter 7: There’s Something About Mary (TST 2/2)

A very funny film – with a very apt title for this chapter!! If you haven’t read the first half of the TST meta, check the previous chapter – we’re jumping straight back in.

Jack Sandiford’s home in Reading could not be talking more about water – Arwel has really excelled himself here. Not only do we have a swimming pool and a Hokusai, but look at the ceiling – I have never seen a ceiling reflect water quite like that. I don’t know if it’s a mirror (!) or another visual effect, but it serves to remind us of where we are – the water is not just below us, but all around. It’s not a case of taking the plunge – we are still drowning.

A moment of appreciation for Sacha Dhawan, whose time on Sherlock was far too short – at least he got Doctor Who. Regardless, his first scene is back to parody here. Sherlock’s quip about the polling station is the sort of quip you only see on television, and the fighting that follows is clearly stage fighting. We get Bond-esque drama as they jump into the pool and smash the glass (note the same motif from the Thatcher smashing earlier), but even before that, banging each others’ heads off the surfaces without a scratch is obvious stage fighting and a well known move. It feels more like theatre than TV, and for me it doesn’t work on film. Perhaps I’m being harsh here, but I feel again that we’re moving into a parody of Sherlock Holmes the superhero. We also get several shots during the fight scene where water seems to obscure the lens with its weird refraction of light; I love this, because it’s a jarring reminder that the camera exists, and with that a reminder that this is artificial. It jolts us out of the scene and speaks to its unreality.

Sherlock announces that he has found the black pearl of the Borgias, but of course he hasn’t – it’s the AGRA memory stick. Importantly, the original story ends with the black pearl, so we’re tying back in to the expectation that has been latently set by Craig; here, the show is diverging from canon, and Sherlock doesn’t know what to do about it – his declaration that it’s not possible is literal. This scene gives a perfect parallel to the one in TAB where he attempts to unmask Lady Carmichael only to find Moriarty – he was missing the obvious. Here, we’ve seen already in this episode the serious miscalculation he has made about Moriarty in his brain; he is still treating the Moriarty threat as one of a supervillain. Stealing jewels is something we associate with Moriarty from TRF, but that moment is high camp – it’s the end of the episode between John and Sherlock which is the emotional crux. If we’re focusing on what Jim means in himself, we’re missing the point – and it’s exactly the same here. Sherlock needs to reconceptualise Jim as his fear of losing John, and this is the moment when his brain connects this properly to Mary. Bear in mind that everything that happens after Sherlock is shot in HLV takes place within the EMP, so we know nothing about Mary in reality. The AGRA memory stick doesn’t represent who Mary genuinely is – it represents the great unknown of Mary, the question mark over her head. Never forget, after all, that the original AGRA box from the stories was empty. It’s the same here – our divergence into Mary’s past is untrue. When Sherlock realises that Moriarty is somehow to do with the memory stick, he is realising that his fear of John dying is tied into his confrontation with Mary back in 2014 (!). This moment of realisation drives the rest of the episode to Mary’s death scene, where Sherlock relives his own attempted assassination by Mary (as we’ll see) – this is what he has to figure out. If we need more impetus to realise that what happens in HLV post shooting is wrong, look at Sherlock’s flashback to John and Mary’s reunion in HLV – if we take this show at face value, that simply can’t be right, because Sherlock wasn’t there. The only way to read this is if such a scene took place in Sherlock’s own brain – a kind of fill in the blanks as he tried to excuse Mary, only now realising that she is, in fact, the most serious threat of all.

A dreamscape coincidence takes place behind Ajay in this scene – before we know that he is Ajay, and the A in AGRA, we see the A behind him on the shelf, as though calling it out to us. This world is too interconnected to be real; its whole fabric seems to self-reference.

In case we wanted any more flashing blue light, we see the police sirens flashing in – now as far as I know, police sirens are normally blue and red, but not here. I wonder why. They will be the same, somewhat worryingly, at the end of TFP. Look at how it lights up one half of Sherlock’s face, just like the water did before. Rachel Talalay is really fantastic.

The next thing we get is a flashback to Tbilisi, and the ambassador asking ‘who’s they? Seems we put an awful lot of faith in they’. It’s difficult not to read this as a reflection on tjlc and how most of us have been feeling for years now, whether or not this is intentional! She also says that she’s got something ‘they’ would love, if we ever get out of here: ammo. For ammo, we should pretty much always read ‘amo’, the Latin for I love – this will be very important later, but for now there’s a nice little metaphorical resonance here – if we ever get out of where we’re trapped (Tbilisi, or the dreamscape), the great ‘they’ want amo. Maybe.

We cut out of this flashback into Sherlock standing and thinking to himself. Normally, in the show, that means that what we’ve been seeing is a mind palace construction or a flashback. When the AGRA scene showed, I expected us to cut to Mary explaining it to Sherlock and/or John, because that would explain its flashback nature. But again, it’s Sherlock thinking, which like our previous memories of Mary suggest that none of it is real – it’s a stop gap as he tries to work her out. It could be argued that Sherlock got this info from his glance at the memory stick, but I don’t buy that – the memory stick contains material from before their betrayal, not after.

Ajay’s torture is another way of teasing Amo and the English woman, which will come to fruition later in the episode, so we’ll move through to Sherlock’s meeting with Mary. Mary, at this point, is still just Mary, no mirrors, no nothing, as Sherlock tries to work her out. Notice how he acknowledges that he had been too caught up in Moriarty and the pearl. I also think it’s relevant that the building in which Mary chloroforms (camphors?) Sherlock is a church – this is a subconscious reference to the Sherlock-is-murdered metaphor in TSoT (X). As we’ll later discover in a big way, the one thing that is stopping Sherlock from getting a handle on Mary and the threat she represents is that he can’t acknowledge his love for John as playing a part in this – he can’t understand why love is such an enormous threat. He will get there (at least partially) at the end of TST, but not until then. Just like the Sherlock-is-murdered metaphor in TSoT represents his realisation that he is in love with John, Mary’s attack on him here in a church stops him from getting to the bottom of what is going on with Mary.

The obsession with the memory stick here is important because the memory stick represents the unknown about Mary that Sherlock is trying – and failing – to get to grips with. However, he’s still going about it the wrong way, and we know that from one line of Mary’s: ‘Sherlock the dragon slayer’. We’ve had these references to Sherlock’s ridiculous hero complex before, but this one stands out, because it feels like a throwback – and it is! But, it’s a throwback to:

Mycroft. If we wanted to, we could jump back to Sir Boastalot as well, but the original ‘dragon slayer’ quote happens when Mary is nowhere around. There isn’t a way to make this callback work without either saying it’s a ‘coincidence’ (really?) or postulating some sort of dreamscape. Here, the dreamscape works perfectly, because it’s the hero image that Sherlock is working to break in this episode, and these iterations come first from his brain (Mycroft) and secondly from hypothesis Mary – even as he’s trying to crack her in various versions in his mind, his subconscious is warning him that he’s wrong. We moved from supervillain Mary to Mary-who-needs-protecting; neither of these are particularly relevant.

Sherlock’s subconscious even trying to break through Mary is important as she refers to the ghosts of her past – this is a phrase which keeps cropping up from TAB all the way through series 4, but it’s normally used in reference to Sherlock himself. She’s again voicing a motif from the programme that as Mary she can’t possibly know about, but as Sherlock’s subconscious is trying to push Sherlock back on the right track.

Mary drugs Sherlock, and in case we needed another reminder of what that represents and what is stopping Sherlock from progressing, we get a shot of Redbeard and we hear Eurus singing the riddle. See chapter 13 (X) which explains why this is symbolic of gay trauma and needing to fully come to terms with your queerness. When Sherlock wakes up, the transition sound from Redbeard back into grown up Sherlock is a gigantic wave followed by rain. Although Sherlock and Victor have been playing by the water, that wave is far too big to come from that image. When we move outside, there is a dripping sound, and our entire visual is coloured in the dark blue of the promo pictures and that really characterises the underwater aesthetic of s4. This scene has shown us a series of blockages to Sherlock solving his current conundrum, and the wave washing over him is the sound of him being pushed deeper into his mind, not climbing out. We’re a long way from a pirate sailing the seven seas here.

The next transition is fantastic. We see two reflections of Mycroft listing off another meaning of Agra (an Indian city) whilst seemingly looking at each other. The reflections are distorted to be thinner than normal, again pointing to the dreamscape we’re used to by now, but also telling us that Mycroft’s voice is Sherlock’s brain here, reflecting – this is the equivalent of going into his mind palace to work something out, drawing on memories and existing knowledge. However, remember that in real life the memory stick does not exist. So why is Sherlock so keen on deciphering AGRA? Well, the treasure of Agra features in The Sign of the Four, in which Holmes is trying to regain the treasures for Mary but does not (as mentioned before, the Agra box is empty) – but the actual important development is that Watson and Mary become engaged. Agra here is not about the memory stick, much like ammo isn’t about ammunition; it’s a tool for Sherlock to engage with Mary’s past. However, Mycroft referencing the original Agra here suggests that Sherlock is trying to grapple with Mary’s potentially criminal past, and also that he can’t get past who she was supposed to be, as we’ve already seen from HLV (she wasn’t supposed to be like that!). However, it’s also a sign that he’s missing the most important part of The Sign of the Four, which is all the more notable for its importance because the wedding episode is named for it; John’s relationship with Mary is the real occurrence in that story.

Others have pointed out that Gatiss wielding a pen in this scene means that he is speaking at least partially as Mofftiss, not just as brain!Mycroft – hence we have wonderful lines such as mentioning that all the best secret societies have acronyms (cough tjlc cough) and that he hates loose ends. A little reassurance there.

Other moments in this scene are lovely – Sherlock is continually distorted by a mirror on the wall, reminding us that this is him trying to process the hypotheses he is running about Mary in his brain. This brain, as previously mentioned, is under siege, and it’s important then that Mycroft and Sherlock both acknowledge that Sherlock and sentiment are becoming one and the same; TFP is going to be about the brain and the heart learning to work together, rather than against one another, but Mycroft’s disparagement and the underground dungeon he’s living in show that we’re not there just yet.

I confess that Mary’s travel montage bores me somewhat, although I’m tempted someday to go through all the graffiti and montages with a fine tooth comb to see if anything can be come up with. I am, however, running out of time to write this before term starts for me! Let’s jump onto the idea that not even Sherlock Holmes can anticipate the roll of the dice. The theme of Sherlock being able to predict the future comes up a few times in this episode, and I’ve mentioned before how this is a set up for us to doubt the premise of TLD, that he suddenly has quasi-magic predictive powers. Here, he seems to, and then it is immediately undercut, because he says that he placed a tracker inside the memory stick. All very funny – except it doesn’t make sense. I confess I didn’t notice this, but my mum did straight away – if you have a tracker, you can follow someone, but you can’t arrive somewhere before them. It’s not possible. This is an aspect of Sherlock’s predictive power that doesn’t make sense – and we might be able to just about buy it on his ‘mathematical probability’ shtick, except he’s just told us that that’s a load of rubbish. This leaves us in a situation that is impossible – and isn’t too much of a problem, because it’s just a device, but is a huge setup for the impossibility of the next episode. It also speaks to a dreamscape again, because where else are you exactly where you need to be when you need to be there, with no explanation?

The jibe about happy families is a little laboured, but it sets up the idea that Sherlock is starting to work in terms of relationships now rather than seeing things in terms of chess. Think of the chessboard squares in Mycroft’s office – but his deduction partner has now switched to John, who represents his heart, and so he’s starting to get on the right track. Note as well how we’re meant to assume they are playing chess or some equivalently cerebral game before we discover that they’re playing Happy Families; this is the same as the chess/Operation scene in TEH, in which we see the difficulty that the Holmes boys have in accessing their hearts. Now that Sherlock is using heart!John instead of brain!Mycroft, he’s almost there, but still not quite winning due to his unfamiliarity with the situation. Note also yet another distorting mirror in the background of this scene.

The fact that Mary’s real name is not Mary is used to great effect here – it could have just been throwaway, but instead in this scene they actually conceptualise Mary and Rosamund as different people. I read this scene as ‘Mary’ being the name for Watson’s canon wife, and Rosamund being our current Mary – so heart!John saying that he liked Mary is his inability to break with established canon. Simultaneously, however, he says “I used to” – he’s caught in a bind, because that canon breakage is already happening.

This room is lit warmly, quite the opposite to the dark watery colours that we see inside most of this episode – most of the waters take place in Sherlock’s brain, and are epitomised by Mycroft’s office, whereas this scene is warm, the colours one might expect of hearth and home, as heart!John takes precedence for the first time. However, notice the grating and the pattern of light that spreads itself softly over the characters’ clothing – it’s much less obvious than in Mycroft’s office, but it’s still the same chequered pattern. As we move in to TFP and John and Mycroft are tied together, rather than moving apart, we’re going to see that increasingly they are two sides of the same coin, heart and brain. You’ll notice, though, that Mycroft’s grating pattern is more like a chessboard – it’s binary and simplistic, black squares and empty space for white light. The patterns of light in this scene, particularly as we move into the Ajay confrontation, become more complicated – the light is let through in swirls as well as grates, as though heart!John is allowing for much more complexity than brain!Mycroft – which seems to be right, given how much more difficult Sherlock finds Happy Families than chess.

[more tenuous crack: Ajay’s torture has always reminded him of Sherlock’s torture, but he’s sustained every day by this bit of information. Ammo, ammo. Amo, amo. Love? I can dream.]

The following scene is an intercut phone conversation between Sherlock, still in Marrakech, and Mycroft in his office – moving back and forth between the two highlights the difference in colour scheme as well as in the angle of grating, which is similar but almost inverted. However, it’s Sherlock talking to brain!Mycroft rather than heart!John – it’s not a row between the two parts of the psyche, but showing that Sherlock has firmly moved over to the other. That won’t be the answer – they will need to integrate for the end of s4– but this is the way towards working out Mary. The split screen effect is helpful here for us to understand both sides not as different, but taking up the same space. This is heightened when Sherlock and Mycroft both walk off, their silhouettes merging into one – they are one and the same. It’s also important that it is from this space that Sherlock makes the ‘amo’ deduction – he could have done so from anywhere in London, but he doesn’t – he needs to be in a heart space.

We now discover what heart!John meant by “so many lies […] I don’t just mean you” earlier – his not-tryst with Eurus. Again, this is discussed in greater detail in an earlier chapter (X), but let’s remember the initial mention of it. It was heart!John who spoke those words, not real!John – because we never get real!John in this series, except through Sherlock’s memory – and so his interrogation of Sherlock’s hypothesis of Mary is where he starts to realise that the problem is one of happy families rather than chess, and that it’s a lot more emotionally complicated than the supervillain arc gives credit for. It’s important that we’re told this story in reverse, because Sherlock is slowly picking up the clues for it but only putting it together late. We’ve seen all the signs that John might be unhappy but haven’t elaborated on them – now Sherlock’s mind is noticing that the Mary problem is something to do with John’s emotions. He can’t work out what, so he hypothesises – this meta chapter (X) goes into much greater detail about how his queer trauma (Eurus) is prodding at his hypothesis of John here, forcing Sherlock to masquerade as a woman in the form of trauma!Eurus because trauma!Eurus will not let him truly accept queer desire and the possibility of reciprocity. It is why we get a story which rings so false about John here. However, I’m running the risk of repeating said chapter, so we’ll move ahead.

We move into brain!Mycroft’s interrogation of Lady Smallwood. The setting is once again focusing on reflection – the mirror behind Lady Smallwood reflects Mycroft, and of course there is the larger mirror structure of an interrogation room, where a mirror from the inside allows Sherlock to watch what’s going on – an obvious metaphor. Lady Smallwood’s opening lines, that Mycroft can’t accuse her again, are really important – in HLV, right before he went down, Sherlock thought that Mary was Lady Smallwood. He’s playing through this mistake – why did he make it? What stopped him from seeing the obvious about Mary, just as he is missing the obvious about Norbury? Both, after all, have been ‘hiding in plain sight’.

Amo. Love, Smallwood’s code name, stopped him from realising it was Norbury, and by extension it’s what stopped him from realising Mary’s true self earlier – love was clouding his judgement. There is more, however. The fact that ‘ammo’ and ‘amo’ are so similar is brilliant, because they mean total opposites – ammo is to do with war, and amo is love. When it comes to the problem of being shot, of knowing that John is in danger but not quite understanding how, Sherlock has been focusing on the threat from ‘ammo’ for too long, hypothesising Mary as some kind of super dangerous villain. This isn’t what’s endangering John. What’s endangering John is ‘amo’ – without Sherlock, John is suicidal, and so it is love that is the ultimate danger. The mistake that Ajay made (ammo) is the same mistake that Sherlock has been making in hypothesising about Mary throughout the episode. Another point worth noting is that gay slang – the early 20th century equivalent for ‘is he a friend of Dorothy?’ is ‘does he know his Latin?’* That’s definitely the sort of thing Mark Gatiss would know and throw in.

[*I found this on tumblr! And can’t refind it! Which makes me question its veracity – although it seems a really odd thing to make up. If anyone can source this for me, would love them forever – I have trawled my files and I foolishly didn’t save it!]

We should also note that amo is a verb – amor is the Latin word for love. ‘Amo’ actually means ‘I love’ – we know that Sherlock knows this, because he conjugates the verb earlier in the episode: amo, amas, amat. My understanding is that it is the first verb anyone learns to conjugate in Latin classes, and that therefore Mofftiss hoped their audience might have some familiarity (rather than picking a much less taught language). ‘I love’ is not the same as ‘love’ – it is an action, and that’s something that Sherlock hasn’t quite cottoned on to. He keeps saying ‘love’ but refuses to grasp that he has to be involved in this verb – as we’ll see.

Mary’s death scene is where all of this – finally! – comes to fruition. Note the blue lighting over the London Aquarium, even the London Eye, to match the underwater aesthetic, before we move into the aquarium. Admittedly, both do that anyway, but it’s a nice look – they didn’t just pick the middle of the day for it.

The message that Sherlock texts Mary, “The stage is set. The curtain rises.” has been seen before – it’s what he says in TAB before running an entire Victorian fever dream of a simulation (X). It’s one of the many repeats of lines from earlier in the Mind Palace, but it suggests that after his almost complete revelation about love, the final simulation is at last ready to run. The comparison to TAB is important, because TAB is a rerunning of Moriarty’s death with different players so that he can understand it. We’ve got the same thing happening here – he’s rereunning his own assassination attempt so that he can finally understand what is going on. This is why TAB is so important – we thought it stood by itself, but it’s actually the key to unlock most of s4! More repeats happen as Sherlock meets Norbury – ‘the final act’ is a repeat, as is ‘I never could resist a touch of the dramatic’, which is mentioned in TAB as well as in ACD canon. Sherlock thinks he’s cracked it, but he’s still quoting previous iterations of himself, which is a sure sign that he’s not being true to Sherlock, only to Holmes, and that something is going to go wrong.

[A side note: can anybody identify/has anybody identified Norbury’s brooch? It looks incredibly significant, a face on it, but I have no idea who – the only person who pops into my head is the queen, and that throws up a lot of ramifications!]

Others have explained why Norbury is a mirror for Mary – if we hadn’t already spotted the Lady Smallwood connection, there’s the fact that they are both receptionists, that they use the exact same gun and of course that they both attempt to kill Sherlock to protect themselves. When we read this scene, we should be reading it in the same way it has become completely mainstream to read Ricoletti as Moriarty; Norbury is Mary. She thought she could outrun the inevitable, but somebody has information on her. What happened with AGRA isn’t actually relevant here, because that was all hypothesis – Magnussen has something, and that’s all that matters. Norbury’s wish to get out of criminal mess in favour of domesticity matches Mary’s, seemingly – and in case we didn’t get this parallel, Norbury draws it herself, asking Mary if they don’t just want the same thing.

Sherlock’s deduction about Norbury here, however, can’t straightforwardly apply to Mary – remember, he knows nothing about Mary’s prior life. This, again, is where TAB comes in – this moment is beautifully metatextual. TAB has set up the train of thought about people who were forgotten by history, and put in women as a mirror for queer people – but in this sense, Mary’s canon divergence is important, because the Mary of the original stories was never allowed to be interesting. Sherlock’s biting comments about Norbury’s ‘little life’ are vicious and completely out of character – think of the interest with which he treats Jeff Hope in ASiP, even a slight sympathy, for another ‘proper genius’ who’s been ignored. Sherlock’s bitterness here is personal. He’s talking about the exclusion of the real Mary from the stories that we saw partially rectified in TAB, whereas in the stories she had a ‘little life’ – but also, using Mary is allowing his subconscious to work away at the fact that the same thing happened to him. His queerness forced him to live a similarly ‘little life’, pining for a lost love much like Norbury, and also buying a cottage down south in the stories (although in Sussex). Canon divergence is working for both Mary and Sherlock here, and he’s trying to understand it through Norbury – the one giveaway is the pain brilliantly infecting Cumberbatch’s voice here. Even if we can’t superficially understand why, we know that this is personal.

Everyone has dug into Mary’s death non stop for the last few years, and I’m not sure I can add too much that is new, but my 2c on how Mary’s death happens is thus. Sherlock has finally come to the point where he can play out Mary shooting him and the impact this has on John, and so Norbury takes the place of Mary in this rerun. Sherlock is, ostensibly, playing himself, but at the very last second he substitutes Mary. Many tjlcers have pointed out that Mary’s leap in front of the bullet contravenes everything Molly Hooper says about gunshots and plays into a movie hero stereotype rather than anything realistic, and I think we’re definitely being pulled into something artificial here. Why does Mary jump in front of Sherlock? Well, let’s think about how trauma!Eurus allows Sherlock to interrogate his feelings for John (and vice versa), both as E and Faith, through a heterosexual lens by being gender swapped. This is a key sign that Sherlock isn’t able to process a queer vision of himself yet. If Norbury had shot Sherlock, which by rights she should have done in this scene, we would have seen John having to come to terms with Sherlock’s death and dealing with it suicidally – which is exactly the threat that the shooting in HLV poses. Sherlock can’t emotionally process this yet, so at the very last moment he throws Mary in front of the bullet – because technically, in this shooting, John loses Mary as well. He at least loses the Mary he thought he knew. And so, at the last minute, Sherlock reverts to the superhero Sherlock Holmes story mindset which is devoutly heterosexual and devoutly heroic, and pulls his punch. He refuses to acknowledge the I love part of ‘amo’, only the love. And whilst imagining that John is suicidal, he hypothesises that it is from losing Mary. By the end of TLD, Sherlock’s going to figure out that he was very wrong. But this is why Norbury doesn’t just shoot Mary – that in itself would be enough drama, and it could have created a conflict scene which was really worthy of Amanda Abbington’s dramatic capabilities – the bullet needs to almost hit Sherlock before his mind diverts it back into this incredibly flawed vision of what a Sherlock Holmes story should look like.

An important note, therefore, is that John in this moment is one of the only times we see hypothesis!John rather than heart!John – because Sherlock is trying to understand the danger John is in. It is truly heartbreaking to hear Martin Freeman’s cries here, and the more so to imagine that this is Sherlock’s dying understanding of what John is going through.

Others have pointed out the fantastic projector visual that we get next, as though implying that the whole Aquarium scene is a projection from Sherlock’s mind – it’s important to hint here to the audience that Mary is of course not dead, although because of the reception of series 4 I’m not sure that was entirely grasped! Mary’s coffin is then engulfed in blue flames, in case we weren’t encumbered enough in blue, but there’s also a sense of failure in this. Every time we get that level of blue, waves or fire, engulfing like it so often does in this episode, we’re sinking deeper into the subconscious rather than rising out of it. It’s a hint that something has gone terribly wrong, which is only increased at the end of the episode with the notorious final image of Sherlock drowning. We’re not on our way up here, and we aren’t going to be until the final third of TFP – until then, we have a constant aesthetic of descent into the mind.

The exception, of course, is Ella’s office, which ties into the heaven/ascent theme – it seems as though descent is descent into drowning in thought, but it’s not actually death, whereas death is the abandonment of the EMP project all together, letting it all go to rise up to the sky. I’ve discussed the ascent metaphor in a previous chapter (X) so there’s not a great need to go into Sherlock’s therapy session here. Instead, let’s note a final few things – although Sherlock is tempted to let it all go, thinking there’s nothing he can do to save John from his loss of Mary (Ella therapy scene) he can’t stop his heart from reflecting – John walking around a room with a reflection of dark blue curtains on an immensely reflective table.

A table that also seems to have a cup of tea on it, which represents queer desire. This is the reason he can’t let it go, although his subconscious is still talking to him in symbols. Another important aesthetic is Mycroft looking at the 13th post-it note and then glancing at a time piece – discussed here (X), this is really significant and so obvious as a code that my casual family spotted it (although knowing how to crack the code was beyond most of us, an excellent piece of work by @jenna221b). Mycroft’s fridge is also unnecessarily shiny and reflective, so now we’ve seen that neither the brain or the heart is giving up just yet, and as to be discussed in a later chapter, brain!Mycroft’s final recourse to Sherrinford symbolises moving into the deepest part of Sherlock’s psyche to solve this problem – and the most guarded.

We move back to Baker Street, where we’ve lost heart!John, because Sherlock has denied him. Substitute John is still there, though – the red balloon exists, deflated, weighed down by some books. Books normally represent ACD canon in this show, so it’s not difficult to see the balloon – John in Sherlock’s mind – weighed down by canon expectation of him.

The ‘say the words Norbury to me’ line is taken almost directly from The Adventure of the Yellow Face (not as bad as it sounds!). This story is actually anti-racism, though you’d never tell from the title – it’s about a woman who isn’t allowed to see her mixed race child, and it concludes by reuniting them. The Norbury line comes at the end – Sherlock has seen the mysterious yellow face and overdeduced by a million to think that he’s solving a murder case, when all the disguise is is a woman trying to see her child. This is the same mistake Sherlock has made in his characterisation of his assassination attempt in the Norbury scene – he hasn’t been able to see past his role as consulting detective into the more important world of human relationships, which would have saved us an entire series of dreams for starters. It’s a really important moment in the Holmes canon, as it’s one of the only moments where we see behind the mask – much like The Three Garridebs – and it’s vital here in linking our real Sherlock back to the stories, as though to say that he is hidden in there somewhere.

Mary showing up on a Miss Me? DVD raises the question of how the hell it got there – dream logic, fine. All a bit Forest of the Dead, but it is Steven Moffat. This ties together really nicely at the end and gives us hope that Sherlock isn’t at a complete dead end – Jim Moriarty, who was always back, representing the threat to John Watson, has now taken a much more concrete form in the form of Mary. Mary is the reason John is in danger. Sherlock knew this already, but going up nearly to heaven in the form of Ella, he thought there was nothing he could do – here Sherlock’s subconscious is once again in this episode prodding him through Mary as it will through Eurus, pointing out that he can change things. Mary’s DVD is intercut with Sherlock’s visit to John’s house – is it a coincidence that there are inverted hearts on the railings? (Invert being a euphemism for queer that this fandom is long used to.) Sherlock’s subconscious is crying out to him!! The anyone but you stuff is much more relevant to TLD, so we’ll leave it for then. Mary’s video continues in audio overlaid over Sherlock – others have pointed out that she repeats lines, but the inflection is different – it’s like a dream memory, not a recording, where using just one recording would really have been a lot easier for the editing team. Again, the show is playing with inconsistency, unsettling us.

And finally, the much discussed ending to this show – death waits for all of us, but can it be avoided – as London turns into the water which drowns out Benedict Cumberbatch’s face. We’re only going deeper.

That’s it this time! I’ll see you for our next chapter.

[ryqoshay]

Happy Life: Sweeter Than a Choir

Primary Pairing: YohaRiko Words: ~1.4k Rating: G AU: Angelic? Time Frame: Sometime after their college years Story Arc: Stand Alone Set: “Thank You” For Your Smile (HtHaN) Sweeter Than a Choir (HL) All I Can Say (TA)

Author’s Note: A second salvo for the seasonal scene barrage.

TheFallenAngel: Ne, Riri!

TheFallenAngel: One of my little demons just gifted me the new Christmas cosmetics pack!

TheFallenAngel: I know we have plans after dinner but do you mind if I stream before?

SakurauchiRiko: Of course you can stream

SakurauchiRiko: Have fun!

SakurauchiRiko: See you when I get home

“I’m home!” Riko announced as she walked in the door.

“Taste the minty wrath of Santahane’s Candy Scythe!”

Riko chucked to herself as she realized Yoshiko was already lost to the world as she focused on the game she was playing. Then, a grey dog and a black cat scampered around the corner into the entryway.

“Hey, Prelude, Phobetor.” She knelt to greet the pets of the apartment, offering both scratches behind the ears and under their chins.

After a minute or two, Riko took off her coat and boots and stored them before making her way to the living room. It came as no surprised that those watching the stream noticed her presence before Yoshiko.

“Uwah!” Yoshiko seemed to notice her girlfriend’s name being spammed in chat and glanced at Riko. “Hey, Riri! I’m almost do- Ha! Ring out! Fall into winter’s abyss! Santahane shall rain coal down after you for your naughtiness!” Her final taunt issued, she tossed her controller onto the cushion beside her and popped up off the couch. “Welcome home!” She spread her arms wide.

By the gods, she looks cute, Riko thought to herself as she fought down her embarrassment and stepped forward into her girlfriend’s waiting arms.

Yoshiko had apparently found an old outfit from one of their Christmas themed photoshoots back during their time with Aqours. Or perhaps she had made a new one in a similar style, Riko couldn’t quite tell. Either way, the bells and beads and poinsettias and cape and tiny hat, all in Christmas colors, suited Yoshiko well. And the tousled twin tail hairstyle was a pleasant change from her normal side bun.

It was all so adorable, Riko couldn’t help herself when she pulled back from the embrace just enough so she could reposition her head and lean down for a kiss. She tried to ignore the surge of notification sounds as cheers and subscriptions flooded in from the still-live stream.

Finally, Riko pulled away and turned toward the camera. “Hi, everyone!” She greeted cheerfully, hoping her blush was being kept to a minimum, though realizing it probably was not. “I know you’re all enjoying Yocchan’s bonus stream today, but I’m going to need to steal her back in a little while so we can decorate for the holiday.” She smiled as she skimmed some of the responses. “Hrm, we’ll see. I’m still not that good at fighting games, but perhaps I will join Yocchan next time. Maybe.” She turned to Yoshiko. “I’m going to go make dinner, so you have until then to keep playing.”

“Right!” Yoshiko grinned before pouncing back onto the couch and grabbing her controller. “Alright, who among you is willing to face Santahane to claim their place on the Nice list?”

Riko also smiled as she made her way to the kitchen. Over the years, she had become quite fond of listening to Yoshiko’s streams and occasionally even participating in them. But it hadn’t always been like that. The younger girl’s energy had, still to this day, the potential to overwhelm the more reserved older girl, but time and time again, Riko found herself drawn in by the enthusiasm. The smiles, the laughter, even the melodramatic antics. Riko had come to love it all.

“You can’t stop my Jingle Bell attack!”

Haughty laugher burst out from the living room as Riko assuming another little demon was felled at the hands of the skilled fallen angel. Yoshiko was obviously enjoying herself, which in turn was what Riko enjoyed watching, or listening to in this case.

“Yocchan!” Riko called. “Dinner is ready. Come help me set the table.”

“The time has come, little demons.” Yoshiko announced to her viewers. “Yohane must bid thee adieu, for now. But fret not! Thy master shall soon return! Pay heed to thy standard digital messenger systems so that thou might participate in our next gathering from across the void.”

A moment later, the blue-haired girl practically skipped into the kitchen, her cape flowing behind her and twin tails bouncing over her shoulders.

“Thanks for making dinner!” Yoshiko said, sliding in to set a shameless kiss on Riko’s cheek before gliding away to grab plates from the cupboard. Silverware and napkins were nabbed next and the winter holiday wrapped whirlwind spun out to the living room.

Riko followed the other girl with their meal and set it on the table before taking her seat.

“Itadakimasu!” Yoshiko clapped her hands together before reaching for her fork. “Mmm! Riri’s cooking is always the best!”

“I’m glad you like it.” Riko replied, taking her own first bite.

No matter how many times Yoshiko said as such, part of Riko continued to worry about making mistakes when she prepared meals. And of course she knew full well that Yoshiko would eat just about anything she made, despite, and sometimes because of said mistakes. Nonetheless, she doubted she would ever tire of watching Yoshiko enjoy the food she had made for her.

The notification for the Aqours group chat sounded on both of their phones.

“Someone must have finished decorating already.” Riko decided. “Should we check?”

Yoshiko agreed and retrieved her phone. “Ah, Ruby and Zuramaru.”

“It’s a lovely display.”

“Yeah, but we can out do them.”

Riko was about to point out that it wasn’t really a competition but was interrupted by Yoshiko laughing. She checked her phone to find Mari being scolded by Dia for her commentary while Kanan played an all-too-casual mediator. She set her device down to resume her meal but continued to listen to her girlfriend laugh as the situation unfolded.

It was a completely different laughter than earlier during the stream. Yohane’s laugh was hearty, deep and more than a little mischievous, while Yoshiko’s was gentler, purer and decidedly sweeter. Like her singing voice, the girl’s laughter had the range of an entire choir. And like her streams, Riko enjoyed listening.

After a few minutes, Yoshiko settled back down and the couple began chatting about various things like their respective days at work and what decorations they most looked forward to putting up. Once they were done, they both cleared their places and headed for the dining room.

“Ne, Riri,” Yoshiko spoke up “one of my little demons sent me a play list of Christmas parody songs. The ones I’ve listened to so far have been pretty funny. Do you want to listen? Otherwise, I have a more normal playlist prepared as well.”

Riko was about to choose the normal list when she realized the parodies would mean comedy. Comedy more than likely meant more laughter from Yoshiko. Suddenly, the weights shifted on her decision-making scale.

“The parody list is fine.” Riko agreed after a moment.

“Thanks, Riri!” She grinned. And with more flourish than was necessary, Yoshiko paired her phone to the stereo and started the music.

“I should be thanking you, Yocchan.”

“Huh?” Yoshiko tilted her head. “For what?”

Oh, had she said that out loud? Well, may as well tell her.

“For your laughter.” Riko started to explain. “For your smile. For your joyful energy that fills this place and makes it a home worth living in. For just, you know, being you. And for being with me.”

For a moment, it looked like Yoshiko might burst into tears, but just as moisture was starting to gather at the edges of her eyes, she blinked it away. “Riri~!” she cried, launching herself at Riko.

Having mostly anticipated this reaction, Riko caught the other girl and pulled her into an embrace.

“You’re welcome! And thank you!” Was all Riko heard before Yoshiko became incoherent.

Riko contented herself by running her hands through curled twin tails while Yoshiko babbled into her shoulder. However, it wasn’t long before what she thought was a classic carol started to play and Yoshiko chuckled. A moment later, she pulled away. Magenta eyes shone like the lights the couple was about to hang.

“This one is one of my favorites.” Yoshiko said excitedly. “I think you’ll like it too, Riri.”

“Alright, I’ll be sure to pay attention to the lyrics.” Riko assured. “Shall we start decorating?”

Yoshiko agreed and the couple started opening boxes. Another Christmas season was underway and Riko quietly prayed for a hundred more to come, each as wonderful as the last.

Author’s Note Continued in Followup Post

[batbobsession]

So I saw the Hunchback of Notre Dame to alleviate the isolation...

Spoilers ahead.

With @lumiereswig‘s recent reblog of her Hadestown experience, I thought I’d share a musical that I saw virtually—the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  This was not a Disney adaptation, I repeat, they took the good stuff from the movie and then told the story straight from the book.

And oh my gosh, it got dark, so spoilers ahead.

Frollo got humanized and it makes him more terrifying.  First off, he’s played by Patrick Page, who, thanks to my recent research, plays Hades in Hadestown, and if that doesn’t draw parallels I don’t know what will

Anyway, Frollo has a brother who is actually a good person and elopes with a Roma woman.  Frollo finds him dying and he gives Frollo his child, who is disfigured, and Frollo, giving us the first reason why we should hate him, tells his dying brother “wow, this thing is a monster because of your sins” and then his brother dies.

Of course, they sing the Dies Irae directly after—an indirect foreshadowing of Frollo’s death by Quasimodo’s hands

“The saints blessed him and the monsters protected him.” my GOODNESS what a line!

And my gosh, the way they introduce Quasimodo is so freaking genius.  Michael Arden comes out like any regular man and then SMEARS HIS FACE WITH BLACK PAINT as Frollo ties the hump to his back (THE SYMBOLISM THERE OMG) and the bells descend from the curtains above as the chorus swells.

Also the chorus plays the statues and each one has its own personality.  It’s so obvious that the statues’ voices are all Quasimodo’s inner psyche tugging him one way and then the other, and every time they speak they use small bells or cymbals to accent their words.

Also Quasimodo can barely speak…UNTIL HE SINGS.  Arden has such an amazing, youthful voice, and I could feel his anxiety for freedom in “Out There.”

And then Frollo comes upstairs and RUINS EVERYTHING.  He uses this kind but CONDESCENDING tone that just makes me want to throw something. Instead of ABC’s, Frollo tells Quasimodo the story of the flight into Egypt, when Mary, Joseph, and baby Jesus fled from the persecution of the firstborn and were protected by St. Aphrodisius—MORE FORESHADOWING.  But they are so RUDELY interrupted by the Feast of Fools, and on that note

Phoebus is actually a cocky SOB—like sure, they sent me in just in case the festival goes awry, but all I’m really here for are the ladies, rest and recreation!

AND THEN CLOPIN SHOWS UP and introduces ESMERELDA and she dances and Phoebus is like “I’ve seen the face of an angel! I’ve been forever changed!”

With Quasimodo’s arrival they announce the contest for the king of fools, and that scene is pulled straight from the movie.  Aside from a few little details, they didn’t change much.

And after all that Esmerelda chases him down and tries to apologize, but is stopped by Frollo, who’s like “ew, I know your kind, you practice dark magic” and Esmerelda’s like “if I had magic, I’d use it to save my people!” and Frollo is like “well shoot she’s smart” and then gets tempted

Esmerelda says something very Christian-like and Frollo is like “oh, you wish to be saved? Stay until the end of the service I’d be happy to teach you” and leaves and she sings “God Help the Outcasts” and holy moly does Ciara Renee have a voice or what

But at the end of the song she sees Quasimodo watching her and runs after him, and the statues are yelling at him to find a place to hide, quickly, quickly, she’ll see you

But she finds him and finds out he’s nearly deaf because of all the bells he’s been ringing all his life. He tells her he was talking to his friends and then berates himself, and Esmerelda’s like “No, that’s wonderful, I like your friends.”  And Quasimodo’s face just lights up and immediately starts ringing the bells and telling them to sing for her—if that’s not the most wonderful show of affection I don’t know what is.

They both sing “The Top of the World” and throughout the whole thing Quasimodo slowly realizes that she’s not going to berate him like Frollo would and you just see him become more and more animated throughout the song.  At the end of the song she kisses him on the cheek and you can tell, you can tell that’s the first time he’s been kissed at all

And then Frollo comes upstairs and RUINS EVERYTHING. “Quasimodo what were you doing ringing the bells off-schedule?” He turns and sees Esmerelda and is all like “oh, I thought you had left! I can still teach you the ways of the church, just stay here forever.” And Esmerelda, bless her soul, actually turns him down politely.  “I don’t think this is a good idea.” Frollo reaches for her hand and she backs away.  “I see the way you look at me.”

Frollo jumps back like he’s been stung by the most overdramatic wasp in the world “hOW DARE YOU! Your soul is so unclean you can’t see goodness in others!” And calls the guards on her.

And then he berates Quasimodo for having impure thoughts and the gargoyles whisper around him, like snakes in the shadows as Quasimodo promises to never again think about her.

AND THEN STALKS HER TO A TAVERN. Okay, it’s indirect but stalking all the same.  And watches Esmerelda and Phoebus fall in love.

Then we get into Heaven’s Light, and Quasimodo has seen the true face of God, because there is a human down there who isn’t afraid of him, who touched his face and suddenly the darkness is filled with light, a light so bright it must be from Heaven…

And the next song is literally the flipside of Heaven’s Light; while Quasimodo sings about how pure and open Esmerelda was to him, Frollo clutches Esmerelda’s scarf and sings of Hellfire.  And I mean, Hellfire was the most dramatic part of the movie for me, so this part was a little underwhelming…but Page carried that entire scene.  My GOODNESS his voice.  And him stumbling around as the saints look down on him and berate him while Frollo just keeps repeating “It’s not my fault!” Like, you can tell he believes what he says but he knows there’s evil in him now (I mean, there was evil in him before, but the sneaky kind) as the lights slowly change from blue to red, closing in on him until everything is bathed in a hellish glow…

And for the rest of the musical he wears a black and red cape over his otherwise white robes, showing how he has fallen and is acting on his own urges.  

He visits the prison—literally swoops in like a bat from hell with his new cape—and King Louis XI is there overlooking the prison and he just looks at Frollo and goes “oH! My astrologer told me I would have an unexpected guest!” Frollo just…. dies inside.  I lost it.

Anyway he manipulates the king to give the church military power and now soldiers are going left and right searching for Esmerelda; they come to a brothel and the women refuse to talk and Frollo’s like “fine, burn it down.” and Phoebus is like “whoa, hell no.” and Frollo shrugs, stabs him in the back, and blames Esmerelda

We interrupt this moment to remind you that everyone in the chorus is literally an angel and together they sound like an actual cathedral choir, thank you for your time.

Meanwhile Quasimodo’s like “oh shoot, what do I do? I want to protect her” and the statues tell him to go after her, find her and protect her like St. Aphrodisius protected Mary. Quasimodo is still unsure, but St. Aphrodisius himself comes out of his stained-glass window and gives Quasimodo his blessing (and a bit of unneeded comedy along with it).

Esmerelda makes Quasimodo take care of Phoebus, Quasimodo lies to Frollo for the first time, and Frollo’s like, well, we found her hideout, we attack at dawn.

Phoebus and Quasimodo have the same chemistry in the musical as they do in the movie.  “You can barely speak!”  “You can hardly walk!” Their arguments are funny, but just like the movie, Clopin finds them and is like “well, they’re gonna hang!” Esmerelda stops it, and Frollo shows up and RUINS EVERYTHING.

Frollo has her locked up, he confesses his love in literally one of the most horrifying ways a person can confess.  He starts out soft, believing that he can save her, rescue her from dark magic and be her sanctuary forever.  He says Esmerelda has made him feel human…and then tries to force her to kiss him.  She strikes him. “Help, a demon! Help me, please!” (FINALLY, someone shows him the respect he deserves)

Phoebus and Esmerelda grieve over what’s going to happen, and when they sang “Someday” I cried.

But the song that shook me to my very core was “Made of Stone” where Quasimodo is tied to a post while the statues plead for him to do something and Quasimodo yells back, “I’ve wasted my faith believing in saints of plaster, but the only one worth believing in was my master”

“Take all the dreams you’ve sown, take all your lies and leave me alone!”

“All right, Quasimodo, we’ll leave you alone All right, Quasimodo, we’ll trouble you no longer You’re right, Quasimodo, we’re only made of stone We just thought that you were made of something stronger.”

And when he sings the last line….HOLY. HELL. I just…I don’t have words for that.

But he quickly changes his mind and rescues Esmerelda from the fire.  The choir swells again, singing the Dies Irae, as Quasimodo lays waste to the crowd outside Notre Dame with giant rocks and molten lead.  Phoebus rallies the crowd into rebellion.  As chilling as this scene is, I think “Oh, now it’s gonna be like the movie, right?” NO.

She dies.  The smoke got to her or something.  But she definitely dies.  And Quasimodo’s talk with Frollo doesn’t end with Frollo pulling a knife. It’s sad, and slow, and Quasimodo finally comes to the terms with the abuse he’s been living with while they both grieve over her death in different ways.  The shock on Quasimodo’s face as Frollo repeats the same pious talk of sanctuary just after killing someone…at this point, I want Frollo dead, obviously.

And so does Quasimodo. He stands up straight for the first time and we see…he’s taller than Frollo, and that scares him.  “The wicked shall not go unpunished,” he says.  “The wicked shall not go unpunished,” echo the statues.  The Dies Irae swells one final time as Quasimodo drags Frollo to the balcony, lifts him up—“I told you, master.  I am very strong.”

“You don’t want to hurt me!” Yes you do, whisper the monsters.

“Quasimodo raised his two huge hands, and with a great bellow threw his master over the edge of the roof and into the abyss below!”  And I am chilled to the bone.  Thanks for that.

And then Phoebus arrives cuz he missed everything. He can’t even lift her up, and they’re both grieving.

Then the chorus—they are seriously the best chorus in the history of ever—approach Quasimodo one at a time, smearing black paint on their faces and hunching over.  Quasimodo sets Esmerelda down and turns his back to the audience. The ghost of Quasimodo’s mother sings for him. Esmerelda gets up and walks through the doors to eternal salvation. She turns back to look at him. He stands up and faces the audience, no longer hunched over, not a speck of paint on his face. 

“What makes a monster, and what makes a man?”

And the chorus swells, and they all bow, and I want to see it again.  So I watch it again, because that’s the beauty of the digital age.