#also I didn't add the women because nobody would win against them sorry <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[lwh-writing]

Okay, propaganda time. Sorry not sorry for the long post.

Listen, I get it. Phineas & Ferb is iconic. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is also iconic. But All the Convoluted Reasons We Pretend to Be Divorced is not iconic. It just isn't. It's a fine enough song; it's got a bouncy energy and is overall a fun little ditty. But it is not one of the Phineas & Ferb classics that stick with you for years. It just isn't.

So, I humbly bring your attention to Chicago's We Both Reached For the Gun.

Some context:

Roxie Hart is a nobody aspiring vaudeville girl who murders her lover Fred Casely after he tries to break things off. Roxie tries (and fails) to pin the murder on her innocent husband and winds up in the Cook County Jail facing murder charges. She's dancing on death row and looking for a way to escape the noose, but low on funds and can't afford anything more than the district attorney.

Enter: Billy Flynn.

Now, Billy Flynn isn't just a lawyer. He's THE lawyer. His claim to fame is that he can get anyone out of Cook County Jail, all charges dropped. He's never lost a case. Ever.

Because of all this, however, he has very strict standards for his clientele. He only ever takes clients that 1.) have a sensational story that can add to his mythos, 2.) are young, beautiful women, and 3.) can pay out the nose for his services. Once again, Roxie meets two of those standards, but is lacking in funds. Billy Flynn, though, he sees Roxie, sees her desperation, her pretty face, and most importantly, her nobody-ness. Roxie Hart is a blank canvas. And Billy Flynn intends to make her his masterpiece.

So he calls a press conference.

Now, you need to understand two things about Roxie: she's dumb and she can't keep her mouth shut. The only reason she failed to pin the murder on her husband is because she wasn't smart enough to tell a good lie and shut up in front of the cops. So if Billy Flynn wants to spin this the way he does, he has to feed Roxie every line.

And that gives us the wonderful, wonderful staging of We Both Reached For the Gun.

If you were to watch the music video on mute, it would look, at first, like this song's a duet. But it's not. It is intentionally staged as Billy using Roxie as a ventriloquist dummy, orchestrating her entire backstory as he sees fit. With a few words, Roxie goes from a nobody to a tragic hero. Her lover, Fred Casely, goes from her current affair who she murdered in cold blood to the possessive ex-boyfriend that wouldn't let her go. And most importantly, the story changes from Roxie pulling the gun to And They Both Reached For the Gun.

That's the key detail here: Roxie and Fred both reached for the gun. With this change, the charges against Roxie drop from first-degree murder to self-defense. The thing is, though, Roxie (and Billy Flynn) have to sell this. Up to this point, the news has been labeling Roxie as a murderess for weeks. Nobody, not even Roxie, has tried to claim differently. To come in and claim otherwise after weeks of Roxie's name being dragged through the mud is insanity.

But Billy Flynn goes for it anyway.

He makes Roxie say the words, then lets the press digest it a little bit. Lets them repeat it to themselves, see if it makes sense, and then goes for the bigger lie: if Fred and Roxie both reached for the gun, then it's understandable why Roxie shot him. Maybe she didn't even mean to shoot Fred Casely, maybe the gun went off as they were wrestling for it. Or maybe she did, because Fred Casely was still bigger, meaner, and meant to harm poor, innocent Roxie. After all: 'He had strength and she had none'. How would Roxie have survived if she didn't shoot?

The press conference continues, Billy Flynn navigates a few missteps with Roxie almost breaking the entire defense as it's being laid ("Are you sorry?" "Are you kidding?"), winning over the head reporter Mary Sunshine, and eventually, the press eats up his words.

Which then leads to my favorite part of the entire song.

You see, the first time I ever heard this song, it was for a live production of the Chicago, the show, not Chicago, the movie. In the show, Billy Flynn still makes Roxie into his ventriloquist dummy, but the reporters don't have the strings tied to their wrists. This is for practical purposes as the reporters immediately have to jump into dozens of other rolls throughout the play and don't have the luxury of editing and multiple takes.

First time I ever watched the movie, I thought the strings were added purely for cosmetic purposes. I thought, "oh, they're dressed as puppets to go with the ventriloquist theme," and would've left it at that if it wasn't for the cut away at the two-minute and fifty-eight-second mark (2:58).

The reporters start nodding along with the story, agreeing that They Both Reached for the Gun. We follow the strings up and up and up as the reporters start to crescendo, only to cut away and see Billy Flynn behind the curtain, literally pulling the strings.

Now that is what I call a character-defining shot! Those reporters? They had the strings on from the beginning. Billy Flynn has been playing the press like a fiddle the entire time. And nobody knew it except for him. He knew exactly what to say, what to do, and how to play the game to make sure Roxie (and hundreds of his other clients) got away with murder. And after the show? He just turns right around and sweet-talks the next murderess straight out of the Cook County Jail. Every time I hear this song now, whenever it gets to the rush of "oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, oh yes," in my mind, I still see those strings.

I could go on. I could pick apart the stressing of the syllables when the characters sing them (understandi-BULL, comprehensi-BULL, defensi-BULL), to show how Billy Flynn understands what he's saying is bullshit. I could nitpick every detail of Roxie's backstory and explain how it's perfectly tailored for the 1928 Chicago audience. But instead I will leave you with this:

If you were to hear songs on their own, with no visuals, no iconic cartoons, no Broadway-style stage production, just the songs, which sounds more interesting? A ventriloquist lawyer talking his client into getting away with murder, or a villain couple talking about getting extra coupons in the mail?

I rest my case.

Vote And They Both Reached For the Gun.

Villain Song Showdown Bracket F Round 1

All the Convoluted Reasons We Pretend to Be Divorced (Phineas and Ferb) - Villains: Charlene and Doofenshmirtz (from the 2nd dimension)

We Both Reached For the Gun (Chicago) - Villain: Billy Flynn