#also I am so EXCITED TOO FOR DWN
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caws5749 · 2 months ago
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I'M SO EXCITED FOR DWN
I JUST LOVE YOUR WRITING AHH ❤️
No but fr you're amazing and reading your stories/os kinda gave me the last push to publish the fic I'm writing rn on tumblr
My first fic is just on wattpad but especially the beginning is just so bad that it's not tumblr worthy and idk how but somehow reading your stories made/makes me believe that people won't hate it completely if I upload the one I'm writing rn
Help what am I saying, I'm rambling way too much but oh my god your so great and I hope your day has been good and I just wanted to let you know that you inspire people, like me for example <3
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NOT ME CRYING AS SOON AS I WAKE UP
🥺 oh my love, you are so so sweet. I hope you either message me your fic or I see it in the tag lists because I absolutely cannot wait to read it and I’m sure it will be lovely 💛
Your writing is so worth it and deserves to be loved if you do share! I hope you know that you are so loved and I am so proud of you for choosing to share your work 💛
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lanajvmeson · 4 years ago
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emerges frm a field of corn slinking in w a faux mink shrug dangling around my elbows n a strand of wheat between my teeth..... farmer eleganza.... hlo! my name’s nai. i am bt a humble ghoul arrived to haunt ur home. 23 n she/her pronouns n i live in manchester. fun fact my friend’s neighbour used to b harry styles PE teacher. i played delilah yrs ago as carlson young (n even cara delevingne at one point what the fk) which feels so weird n ancient to me nw bt i missed her a lot so decided to spruce her bk to life.... ANYWAY delilah’s pinterest is here n i’ll jst leap right into things without further ado
(NICOLA PELTZ, CIS-FEMALE) - Have you seen DELILAH ASTOR? LILAH is in HER JUNIOR year. The POLITICAL SCIENCE MAJOR is 21 years old & is a CAPRICORN. People say SHE is BEGUILING, BLUNT, CUNNING and APATHETIC. Rumors say they’re a member of CALLOWAY. I heard from the gossip blog that SHE WAS IN A REHABILITATION CENTRE IN SWITZERLAND INSTEAD OF DOING CHARITY WORK LIKE HER SOCIAL MEDIA CLAIMED.  (NAI. 23. GMT. SHE/HER.) 
HISTORY
their family is kind of modelled off the sedgwick family like old money n pretty dysfunctional bt all abt keeping up a seamless facade of perfection... with a pinch of the kennedy’s in there. her dad’s high up in politics n his dad before tht ws in politics n it’s just a long prestigious line of clones in expensive suits as far as delilah’s concerned. her dad i picture as like.... nate archibald’s grandfather in gossip girl.... personality wise.
for as long as she cn remember she’s found this cookie cutter white picket fence life boring. stifling. to delilah it’s like being hemmed in a stuffy room n forbidden frm opening a window. it’s all vry Rich People Problems i wnt lie bt <3 she feels everlastingly bored. All The Time. plus her family hs always been a focal point fr tabloids etc which doesn’t help this feeling of not rly Living but just being the focus of a spectator sport. they’re lowkey a bit of a household name so they get a bunch of scrutiny n......... well. new bullet point alert! cue a powerpoint transition
(self harm & depression tw) frm being young delilah always knew there ws sort of. a white noise inside her where everyone else saw a technicolour movie screen. it rly hit her at like 12 i’d say as she was jst coasting towards adolescence. it ws pretty obvious frm her behaviour i’d say bt her parents only became Aware it ws a problem when she stuck a fork into a socket n short circuited the power in the house. she got shocked unconscious n when she woke up she told the in house dr they’d called (to keep it under wraps frm outsiders) tht she just.... couldn’t feel anything. she’d been reading frankenstein (she’s always liked gothic literature) n thought it’d zap her to life like the monster
her parents got her on medication n figured that wld fix everything. they didn’t like to talk abt things and that was that. it wasn’t to be mentioned again
delilah’s parents r just very.... sterile. family is abt appearances. they’ll be all smiles n flowing conversation when ppl are around bt it feels like being an actress n reading frm a script. being a toy in a dollhouse
she had two siblings: an older sister named clara & a younger brother named elijah. clara ws always like.... the Dream daughter. did everything right. amazing grades. america’s sweetheart. LOVED by the press. did sm charity work. elijah was fine/kind of a slacker compared bt coasted by on athletic prowess (captain of the rowing team). delilah hs very much always been the anomaly in this idyllic line-up. middle child effect! altho having said tht she’s always ran w the popular crowd of her age group bc Rich + Pretty = Status. it’s all quite superficial n delilah’s attitude on the matter can b summed up w this photoset. having said tht there was Some merit in constantly being paraded around as “such a pretty thing” bc a few modelling agencies attempted to scout her bt delilah found that boring. she wants to b called brilliant not beautiful. her mother called this her “not playing to the advantages that god gave her”. with a tight-lipped smile and a “god forbid i use my brain”, delilah only disappointed her further <3
(drugs & ed tw) delilah gt pretty heavy into partying fr the sake of trying to Feel something. intense on the drugs front (coke n prescription pills). rarely eating. she got a silver broach of a swan tht she pins to most of her clothes n u can unscrew the swan’s neck n pull it out to reveal a little powder spoon. still wears this today. clara n delilah were always super close n clara wld cover fr her a bunch. making up lies n jst having her back to their parents if they ever asked where she was / she ws in trouble n needed to keep it under wraps. when delilah hd an article in a tabloid pretty mch like this one clara talked their parents dwn frm sending her to a rehabilitation centre in switzerland. they gt it pretty much scorched frm existence bt delilah kept a clipping bc honestly she thought it was funny hw pale her mother went abt it
(car accident & drunk driving & death tw) at a fancy benefit the astors were all attending among 4857925974 uppity families delilah wound up heading off w some of the rich kids n one thing lead to another n a couple of them gt arrested fr a coke scandal. delilah used her phone call to contact clara n fr once clara hd let loose a little n hd something to drink bt still drove to the station to bail delilah out n try n fix her mess bt.... skipped a red light n crashed. she died upon impact.
(hospitalisation & drugs & addiction tw) this made delilah spiral massively obviously.... she clung on by the skin of her teeth fr a while bt she rly was just getting quite out of control doing an extremely excessive amt of coke to get by at this point so her parents actually did.... end up shipping her off to switzerland for rehabilitation. they didn’t tell anyone this tho n as far as ppl were/are aware she was doing charity work with habitat for humanity in trinidad. her parents literally........... hired ppl to take photos of things there n a social media team posted them to her instagram account jst. the most elaborate lie.... it’s a lot.
delilah jst pretty much went along w whatever they said at the facility bt didn’t absorb any of it too much.... she did get sober there bt it was vry much bc she had no other choice rather than a want to......... she even pretended to “find god” while she ws there n memorised bible lines to recite w a coolly detached smile. in her head she ws probably thinking abt hw her mandated therapist cld gladly eat shit and she’d be happy to watch. it was just like.... everyone there was RLY hideously overpaid bt did they actually Care abt their work or patients? debatable. wasn’t the most healing experience thru delilah’s eyes bt... maybe it’d work better if she’d actually opened her mind to it bt anyway...... <3 cornelius fudge voice: she’s back. the dark lord.....
PERSONALITY:
nw tht her history is out of the way i’ll leap like a flea off a shaggy dog’s back into personality! aesthetically she almost ALWAYS wears white/cream. reminds me of the woman in white frm sharp objects. rarely she’ll dabble in silver or gold or like..... vry pale green bt.... always muted tones. usually white or cream. big white sunhats. white sunglasses. white pussybow blouses w a little white skirt n a pearl barrette in her hair. she even smokes white sobranie cigs tht r imports like it’s a lot she’s truly committed to the aesthetic.... paired w like. classic patent mary janes.... she tends to flutter around the place like a silk moth. likes lace too. hs a very put together image n even demeanour like she’s very lithe n graceful n drifts like a ghost which kind of contrasts w... who she is at her core bt in the astor family it’s all abt appearances <3 the only deviation from this is she sometimes wears dark blue mascara once in a blue moon n if ppl comment on this she’s like. idk what ur talking abt? glides away like a ghost in a haunted mansion n is never seen again.
very perceptive. incredibly observant. yrs of early life media training n being born frm politicians means she’s an excellent liar. she knows ppl n knows what makes them tick bt she’ll only use this when necessary. she isn’t a terrible person bt she knows how to b Very mean n will equip this as a weapon shd a situation call fr it. also more prone to lashing out since her sister......... she hs sometimes played chess games socially fr kicks
dark n biting sense of humour. rather frank abt things. VERY ruthless when scorned bt she isn’t particularly?? emotive abt it??? her bf cheated on her once n when he told her she slapped him rly hard in front of sm ppl he knew n then jst walked away. blocked him on literally everything. removed him frm the face of the earth as far as she ws concerned. had him blacklisted frm every event n told ppl they’d be cut too if they continued to associate w him. goodbye sir <3 u are the weakest link <3 needless to say he regretted it <3
very loyal to u until she isn’t. finds it very easy to cut ties if need be. once her trust is broken it is gooooone baby goone.... the trust is Gone. selective in who she cares abt
vry cavalier abt sex. she doesn’t sleep around hugely i dnt think??? bt when she does it isn’t often tht emotionally invested she’ll jst out of the blue very nonchalantly blow out a wisp of smoke n b like. so u want to fuck me then? cool. proceeds to get up as if she’s walking to leave n then looks bk n is like what do ur legs not work? follow me. n leads them somewhere
nothing rly.... moves her particularly. she isn’t very animated. it’s like she jst finds the entire world thoroughly unimpressive. it’s difficult to stimulate excitement from her. it’s like that hugh laurie quote where he realised he had depression bc “boredom is not an appropriate response to exploding cars”.
has a pet swan bk at home she’s named lilith inspired by satan’s offspring. lilith bites ppl if they get close n is honestly an abomination of a bird. delilah finds her funny n throws her bits of croissants sometimes bt even she isn’t immune to her pecks. in some ways they’re similar...... hv a graceful surface appearance / aesthetic bt a darker attitude beneath the surface
WANTED CONNECTIONS:
exes: the ex bf tht cheated on her n she got blacklisted from 94872347 social events cld be a fun thing to explore..... delilah wld be EXTREMELY cold towards him n honestly want him dead. wouldn’t show any shred of caring abt him at all she’s very gd at stoning her emotions n keeping them inside. hasn’t cried since her sister died as an example of how..... withdrawn she is from confessing her innermost thoughts n desires. maybe an ex bf before tht that she rly didn’t take seriously at all..... typically she just isn’t interested/invested in romance she’s vry apathetic abt it all
party friends: those tht run in similar rich kid circles tht she would have smuggled off with at fancy events so they could let loose.......... ppl tht r completely her opposite who she finds interesting bc they represent everything she always wanted outside the oppression of her strict regiment family....... mutual bad influences tht are heavy into drugs n always enable each other...... u name it!
hook-ups: she doesn’t have a HUGE amt of these bt.... maybe a select handful.... some she wld have hooked up w once n never again n just been like >_> if they implied they shd as if it was preposterous n she was thoroughly over it.... some maybe she’d find interesting enough to extend beyond tht...... none she’d invest in if she cld help it altho? maybe someone as an exception to tht rule cld be fun
friends of her sister: (death tw) clara was universally well liked for being rly sweet n well intentioned n she attended yates only two yrs delilah’s senior so she might have some connections here still somehow??? cld be angsty to work with
i won’t lie i’m rly hungry as i write up these wcs so my brain’s going blank n i’m gna have to sprint to get some toast bt <3 roommates, enemies, competitive friendships, resentments, angst, chaos, drama, strife, u name it n i am dwn!!!! hits post n takes off galloping dwnstairs
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axclfms · 4 years ago
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hllo demons n space cowboys !! i’m sage  comin 2 u live frm the est tz with a v red dash icon tht i can’t be bothered to change atm .   anyways  ,  shimmies shoulders  im v v excited to be here with my child axel  so let me just diiiiive right into her ! pls hit me up or spank tht lil heart if you’d like to plot and i’ll come runnin. 
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「charlotte d’alessio & cisfemale」⇾ medici , axel, the junior radcliffe student’s records show that she is a scorpio and 20 years old. she is studying fine arts & photography, living in noland and can be passionate, magnetic, heedless & addictive. when i see her i am reminded of catfishing passport photos, shoplifting out of pure boredom & empty film canisters used as pill holders . ⇽
alrite first things first HERE is her pinterest ,  feel free to skip all the junk below  & just vibe check her
BACKGROUND
born & raised in southlake, tx  to oliver & pearl medici
they were high school sweethearts who were voted most likely to get married and have a dozen kids running around
they stopped at 2 bc they just .. their kids were a handful  . . . but axel will tell you they stopped after her bc they hit perfection :~)
the medici’s come from a long line of politicians  &  are all associated with the political world in one form or another  
her father dreamt of becoming president  &  honestly was beginning to climb his way there
started off by getting elected as mayor  &  then from mayor went onto join the state’s senate & was working on his campaign for governor of tx
axel & her older brother adored their father & played their part , knowing that even the smallest mistake cld wreck their dad’s way to the top... even if it didn’t matter now, if he were to run his presidential campaign they would surely be digging for anything to take him down .  aside frm some partying & drinking , they never did anything too too wild
her brother ended up going to yale for college, not wanting to be too far from him but wanting a break from her parents�� &  texas  ,  axel applied to radcliffe bc she knew the ivy life wasn’t for her
and something about radcliffe’s history drew her in
last year right before midterms , axel got a phone call tht turned her world upside down .  her dad had gotten into a car accident.  after getting rushed to the ER, he ended up dying from complications in surgery.  he was in the early stages of his campaign for governor & was on his way to meet his team.
it was ruled as an accident &  that seemed to be that on that. & everyone went ahead and moved on with their lives
axel still wants to believe that there was foul play in her father’s death mainly bc she wants to blame someone
frm her eyes her mom n brother have healed without any trouble. her brother had gone back to school, graduated from yale and jetted off to south africa with his new gf where they were working for a non profit . her mom had started dating someone new within six months.
PERSONALITY
the whole thing has taken an impact on her n she’s just ... a lot more darker or wilder nw. think bradley martin frm bates motel or marissa cooper frm the oc
was probably head of social committee and heavily involved in the school. was also a cheerleader but went to practice high as balls one too many times , and eventually got kicked off the team.
lost a bet & graffiti’d the school building , got ratted out and spent a month of her summer doing community service and picking up trash.
if you knew her during freshman year and half of sophomore year ,  she is probably a completely different person nw.
pops xanax like they’re vitamins , is constantly day drunk , always has a flask hidden in a designer purse. has low key developed a little bit of a coke habit
rly good at putting on a facade of perfection when she needs to but truly feels like she has nothing left to lose so she says whatever pops into her mind, likes to stir up trouble when she’s bored n has rly just turned into a firecracker n is jus kinda.. ruthless nw
wld hit on someone’s dad out of pure boredom 
uses sex as an outlet to feel in control, to feel good , to feel wanted
only thing that she’s still passionate about is art and photography .
photography inspo is probably sarahbahbah , where she likes to shoot things in series with a film vibe to it.
catch her walking around with hints of paint on her hands , not sleeping bc she’s trying to perfect her latest piece
always sketching or doodling , probably has a film camera slung around her neck or dangling frm her wrist
human embodiment of the cherry & wilted rose emoji
big on skin care and doing face masks and only says ‘self love’ ironically. usually after she spins herself into chaos
big aesthetic would b phoebe tonkin lookin sad and depressed at the farmer’s market carrying around flowers 
ok that is all i got .... ty for prowling thru this if u did. also she is a fairly new muse of mine so if ... she ends up changing once she hits the dash MIND UR BUSINESS alskslks jkkk
WANTED CONNECTIONS
we love angst & fictional toxicity over here! hit me w any & all of ur toxic wcs
a good influence for her
someone who she used to be bff’s with but shut them out when everything went down and now it’s just ... awkward between them
someone who she didn’t get along with before but now they’re pals
unlikely friends!
a ride or die friendship
a confidant .. hit me with those 12 am late night heart to hearts with no filter NO CAP!
someone who ratted her out for vandalizing
hook ups  wld be fun ! tinder matches, one night stands etc. 
someone who axel just completely fucked over in some way (romantic or platonic) 
truly anything i am dwn for ! thnk u and good night
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blazerina · 5 years ago
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Road Trip Ready (Ethan x MC)
Road Trip Ready (Ethan x Allie – Open Heart MC)
Word Count: 1638
Summary: Another regular day in the life of Ethan & Allie – Allie begging Ethan for something he doesn’t want to give in to…will she get her way in the end? Read on to find out.
Author’s Note: I did another one of these a while ago just for fun and was so pleasantly surprised by the response I received. This is in response to a prompt request from @mrswalkerwritesagain about Ethan & Allie going on a road trip but I spiced it up a little bit. Hope you enjoy! I love these two. xoxo Also tagging @parkerattano because I know she’d want to see this and she’s my biggest supporter - love you girl!
--
Allie glanced at her watch and sighed as she looked out the window of the moving train. She yawned and closed her eyes for a few minutes, leaning forward and resting her head on the back of the seat in front of her. Her last shift had turned into a very late night and she had contemplated sleeping at Edenbrook. But instead, she tried to get home to see maybe she’d be able to catch Ethan for a few minutes. She was unsuccessful in her attempt to spend a few moments alone in person with him.
Suddenly, she felt her phone vibrate in the cross-body bag she wore. Through heavy eyelids, she glanced at the text. It was from Ethan:
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Allie smiled and placed her phone back in her bag when she realized this was her stop. Another day was starting. Another day full of people to heal, co-workers to encourage, and another day NOT see her boyfriend. It felt weird calling him that. He had first been her mentor, then her teacher, also her boss and then���it just happened.  He seemed too dignified and too mature to be considered her boyfriend - but that’s what he was.  
She missed him. Being a doctor herself, she knew all too well the realities of their hectic schedules and the very real issues that kept them both apart.  After all they had been through and overcome together as a couple, there was no way they would let a little lack of quality time, drive them apart. They’d been there, done that. 
However, she knew that both of them were in desperate need of time away. They needed a vacation.  Together. And a few moments to relax and unwind from the stress they were each under every single day. She asked him earlier if they could have a little getaway and that text on the train was Ethan’s reply. 
She picked up the pace as she entered the hospital, realizing she was a little later than she thought. Since their only way of really communicating throughout the day was text, she tried her best to keep him up to date on her day and he did the same with her. She always sent long and elaborate messages, his were short and sweet, but he had made comments on more than one occasion about how much he appreciated them, so she knew they made a difference.   Allie stopped at the entrance of the locker room and snapped a pic – immediately sending it on to Ethan:    
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He was always incredibly slow to respond but Allie was especially proud of herself for being so darn punny this early in the morning.
She almost forgot the most important news from her morning and quickly typed out another update for him, this time getting a reply pretty quick:
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Allie laughed out loud and said hello to a few fellow doctors changing clothes, while she made her way out of the locker room in search for her first patient of the day. She checked in at the nurses’ station and was making her way to room 604 when another text came through for her.
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Finding a supply closet to suffice for a brief photo session, Allie replied by sending Ethan this picture:
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Update – decision made. This is what I went with…photo creds - Belinda in pediatric oncology. She says hello.
Still pleased with herself, Allie walked quickly toward her patient’s room as the ache for her partner grew more and more heavy within her.
--
A few hours had passed since Ethan heard from Allie. The past few days he was living more and more for these texts from her. It felt as though they were in a long distance relationship as of late with both of their commitments at the hospital piling up more and more, keeping them apart longer than either one of them wanted.
“Damn.” He thought to himself as he realized it was his turn to respond to Allie. He had forgotten.
Seeing her dressed in scrubs would forever be his weakness. He had decided that long ago. Smiling as he frantically typed, he loved teasing her and realized with every message, just how far he had fallen for her.
“Saw you for 5 secs in the cafeteria but got called away…filling up the big one again?” He asked, and then followed up with:
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  Ethan sighed as he remembered he had a few dozen case files to review in his office. He had about an hour between appointments and meetings so he rushed to his desk to see how much he could get done. His eyes were burning from the sting of the screen when the familiar hum of his cell phone shifted his focus from one electronic to another.
“hi.” The text from Allie read.
“this is what I look like…in case you forgot…😊”
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“Took this the other day before going out with the girls. Miss you.”
Ethan felt his heart leap within his chest upon the sight of her and he quickly replied once again:
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Shaking his head but not at all surprised by her response, he continued to focus on his work for a few more minutes before being distracted by an idea; a way to surprise her, that she would never see coming.
--
“Jeanine – could I have a post it note please?” Allie asked, hanging half her body over the front of the nurses station on floor 5.  
Allie wrote on the note for a few seconds before placing it inside the folder that held all the charts on Mr. Flores in 543, one of Ethan’s most difficult patients – one she knew he had been struggling with for a while.  
She caught a glimpse of Dr. Ramsey chatting with another doctor a few moments earlier. Her heart stopped seeing him right in front of her, but she could quickly see just how tired he was and could tell by his posture alone, that he was exhausted.
Being nosy, Jeanine opened the file and read the note:
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“Honey, you two are so sweet. What is it the kids say these days? Couple goals? You’re it.” She patted Allie’s hand and winked at her before Allie said thank you and went about her business.
--
Later in the day, it was getting close to the end of Ethan’s shift and surprisingly enough, Bryce (who never texted let along communicated at all) sent Allie a message:
“U on floor 4? Get here now its going dwn”
Curious, Allie raced to the 4th floor just in time to see and hear Ethan chewing out a new intern. Even though Allie had experienced it for herself and knew it was for the betterment of the student, his patient and the overall experience for all involved, it was still hard to see Ethan act this way. 
She bit her lip and winced a few times when Ethan made point after point about using your head and thinking through the details, railing the intern about how people’s lives were at stake. When the worst was over, Allie text Ethan again:
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Stealing away in the same supply closet where Belinda took Allie’s scrub picture earlier that morning, Ethan sighed and decided to give in to Allie’s wishes. But today had been longer than he anticipated and he still had so much work to do. He was grateful for her and the ways she helped him focus on what really mattered in his life. He adored Allie’s sense of humor and tried to match her in his response:
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“You’re so full of it.” Allie responded with the eye roll emoji.  
Ethan snickered as he sauntered back to his office, praying he could have some peace and quiet in order to get his work done.
--
Not even a few minutes into more work on case files, Ethan’s phone was blowing up – message after message pinged, driving him crazy. He suspected a group message but was wrong.
Girl. Everyone knows my man Ethan is (fire emoji) but check this guy out. Yum. (eyes emoji) (drool emoji) He can train me anytime…know what I mean?! (heart eyes emoji)
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Another message:
Shit. Ethan!! That was for Jackie.  And Sienna. Oh God. I AM SO SORRY. Love you? 
Another message:
OMG NO QUESTION> FORGET THE MARK. I meant: LOVE YOU. Mean it!!!!!
Ethan replied.
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Pausing to think just a few more minutes, he then typed out his plan and sent it, knowing Allie would be stunned but also happy.
Also, we are going on vacation. Just you and me. Not sure where, but after your shift, come back to pick me up. We’ll swing by the apartment to pack and then we’ll hit the road.
Allie sent back a “happy dance” gif and Ethan knew he had made the right decision. He needed time with her. She needed time with him. They needed time together and far, far away from the hospital.
--
A few hours later, Allie was in the parking lot of Edenbrook, waiting on Ethan. 
She was beyond excited about spending some time with him. She didn’t know how long they’d have but even just a few hours would feel like an eternity compared to what they’d been given the last month. 
She snapped a selfie in car and captioned it Road Trip Ready!! Jenner’s here too.
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Ethan practically ran out of his office, down the stairs and out to her car, smiling more than Allie had seen in quite some time. 
He threw open the passenger side door, slammed his body into the seat and quickly kissed her, tenderly at first with the kiss turning into one of longing and desire.
“Hey.” Allie whispered, breathless at the sight of him.
“Let’s go.” Ethan responded, holding her hand and kissing the back of it as his fingers laced with hers.
--
Later that evening, Allie posted this on social media for all the world to see:
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Trapped alone in a car for hours on end with Dr. Ethan Ramsey. Some may say it’s torture but for me -- this is my happy place. Don’t be jealous. #bouttime #roadtrippin #lovehim
 THE END.
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skizmin · 7 years ago
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you’re my favourite constellation.
stargazing!au, friends to lovers with han jisung
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(this giF IM SCREAMING CUTIE)
request from @straybin: Can I request a stray kids jisung friends to lovers star gazing au! Your aus are super sweet I loved the seungmin one!
(thank you so much ily 💝💓💖💕💞💘💗)
alright lets get straight into it
so youre a highschool student with an affinity for astrology, like, you love it
for your birthdays you get astrology books and maps and even once a really cool telescope!!
its just what you love, okay?
anyway, recently youd moved in with your cousin who lived alone and needed a roommate, plus it was closer to your school than your own home.
you parents practically shoved you in there with short notice (at least they were paying rent and grocery expenses) and you were like well okay
you didnt mind your cousin at all, but she can be a bit excitable and overbearing sometimes but you have to deal with it really
“dUDE i gotta show you something follow me”
you were unpacking when your cousin said this, you set down your telescope and followed her out the front door. your cousin lived in an apartment block basically, she was on the third story out of five. there was a very cute young family across the hall from you guys n stuff
anyway she kept going up and up these stairs and you were like where the fUck are we going im so tired
she laughed and said you were almost there and proceeded to push open a big heavy door
wow
you were in complete awe
in front of you was a massive open roof, the setting sun and the wide sky completely in view from all points, and when you looked up? oh my god it just seemed so clear
“you like stargazing dont you? youre allowed to come up here all you want as long as you dont make a ruckus yeah?”
you agreed, smiling W I D E and attacking your cousin in a hug
like,, two weeks later?
you still hadnt gone stargazing on the roof yet
on top of moving in and mid term school, it was a struggle to deal with so you just didnt have the time at the moment
untillll you had a falling out with a friend. it wasnt anything too serious but a few hurtful truths were said and the added stress of everything else going on, it was just overwhelming
so when you got home that afternoon, you packed a small box with your telescope, your notebook and pens, a couple of your astrology study books and two big blankets
then, after you made and ate dinner with your cousin, you made a big cup of hot chocolate (or coffee or tea or a moccha, whatever you prefer) and told your cousin you were going upstairs and youd probably be back late so youd take a key in case she was asleep
your cousin agreed and watched you balance the massive mug and your box in your hands and also the two big pillows you spontaneously grabbed as you walked out
arriving on the roof, you laid everything out, not bothering to set up your telescope just yet and you sat back sipping your hot drink
you didnt know when you started to cry but it happened, and soon enough you where silent sobbing on your own letting out a few sniffles here and there. life was just too busy and overwhelming at the moment
it was about half an hour later when you stopped sobbing, you were still crying, wiping your tears from your face every minute or so, this was when the door to the roof opened and shut
you thought it would just be your cousin so you stayed still and aited for her to find you and comfort you
the the felt a foot hit your thigh and heard a whisper shout of “hoLY FUCK”
you sat up, hastily wiping your tears as you tried to see the dark figure in front of you, they had turned on their torch and were now shining it directly into your eyes
“i am so sOrry i didnt even see you there, were you sleeping? oh god i cant believe i just almost stepped on you- wait? are you crying? oh my god”
it was some sort of god in front of you, you were sure. perfectly tanned skin, gorgeous doe like eyes, soft cheeks and pink lips. you were pretty much mesmerised, even as he crouched down in front of you
“hey, im sorry. i really didnt mean it its just dark out, are you okay? i didnt hurt you did i?”
he sounded so unbelievably guilty that you felt bad, snapping out of it you responded with a choked out “im sorry, im fine, its okay!”
the boy in front of you smiled out of relief, eyes lingering on you before looking at the set-up around you
“im jisung, i live on 2nd floor. i havent seen you around before, i didnt know we had new neighbours”
he looked at you and tilted his head in confusion, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips set in a slight pout. your heartbeat involuntarily picked up at the sight
“oh! im uh- im y/n, i just moved in with my cousin y/c/n, she lives on third floor...” you awkwardly and shyly looked down to the ground, hastily tidying up the mess of notebooks and your hot drink as he replied
“oh! y/c/n! i know her, shes really nice. how old are you? you look a bit younger than her honestly” his brows furrowed further and he smiled lightly when you looked up at him, he was still crouching in front of you
“oh, im 17, she lives closer to my school than my parents and she needed a housemate, so here i am!” you laughed really nervously and looked down at your fingers again
jisung smiled to himself, ah, theyre cute
“oh, im the same age then!” he laughed before looking away slightly, asking the difficult question, “are you sure youre okay? you look like youve been crying,”
dread crushed your chest, he’d seen you crying, this was really embarassing for you
“oh nothing! i was just- uh, i was just a bit stressed is all” you held your breath, hoping jisung wouldnt pry any further, you really didnt want to talk about it
he laughed good heartedly, “ah yeah, we all get a bit like that sometimes. what are you doing up here though? its freezing, are you studying or something? waiT IS THAT A TELESCOPE?!”
it was your turn to laugh, this kid was really positive and seemed to know how to take a hint
“im stargazing! my cousin said i could come up here but, if you need to roof then dont worry ill go down its no porblem”
you looked at his face this time as you spoke and oh my god stop smiling at me like that 
“stargazing? thats so cool! dont worry, i only came up here for some fresh air, my housemates are a bit loud. so what, do you just look at the stars and planets or?” he finally sat dwn next to you. “can you show me a constellation?”
you giggled and nodded, you whole body tingling because of the close proximity of your bodies and the idea of the stereo-typically romantic thing you were about to do. “we need to lay back okay?”
you laid back, he followed, his head was lost to to yours and his hands rested on his stomach, he turned his head to look at you
m i s t a k e
you didnt turn to him. you were bright red at the feel of his breath fanning across your face you kept your head straight on the sky
“now what?” he softly whispered it to you, your stomach violently dipped and your heart practically stopped
youre all “uhhhh uh- well, uh, you just um- see that sorta diamond of stars over there? and then it sorta uh, has a triangle on top?”
jisung follows your line of eyesight and tries to focs on specific stars that make out the shape, he sees it “oH! i see it!”
“yeah, thats lyra, its a harp basically.”
jisung squints and you lightly turn your head to him, not fully, just enough to see his face. “oh, it does look like a harp i guess, whys it there?”
“it represents the lyre of orpheus, who was a greek poet and musician, he was killed though...”
“wow, thats sad but also so cool...” jisungs phone buzzes, you see its a message from someone called minho, asking where he is
“crap, y/n, ive gotta go but um. i really liked talking to you and im really interested in the stars now, it seems like theyve all got stories. would you mind teaching me again sometime?”
he was scratching the back of his neck awkwardly
“oh! um- yeah of course i will, i mean, yeah definitely!”
you realised you didnt have his phone, so you couldnt really get your number for him
he saw you looking and spoke up “uh, maybe just next time, um, come and grab me? my apartment is number 6, im almost always there if im not at school really. just, whenever youre going up and you feel like some company, come knock on the door or something?”
you smiled, the thought made you nervous but you did want to see jisung again. “okay, of course.”
he smiled brightly at you, you cursed your heart again, “great! ill get going then, dont stay for too long okay? youll get a cold.” he stood up and waved to you
“bye jisung!” you call out softly as he walks away
you leave not long after he left, it felt boring on your own suddenly. you didnt even remember youd been crying at all, it felt like a massive weight was lifted off of your shoulders.
you slept so easily that night, dreaming of the stars and jisung.
a week and a half later? it was a friday night 
you were packing your box to go stargazing again when you remembered jisung, you wanted to bring him along with you. he might be busy, but you packed an extra couple of blankets and soem pillows and placed them just inside your door before you went downstairs to go and get him
you were so nervous as you knocked on the door, preparing for utter embarrassment. the door opened up tho
“oh, youre not the complex owner thank god.” you were greeted by someone possibly younger than you, he had reddish hair and a sweet smile. “how can i help you?’
you tried to block out the screeches coming from inside the apartment, you could hear about five voices screaming at once “im uh, im y/n, im from upstairs? i was wondering if jisung was here at all?”
he smirked, like he knew something you didnt. “sure one sec, im seungmin by the way.” he turned away from you and screamed into the apartment “jiSUNG, SOMEONES HERE FOR YOU, HURRY UP.” 
“coMING!!” was heard throughout the apartment followed by a “fELiX gEt ofF Of mE” and seungmin smiled awkwardly at you before a head popped past the wall into the entrance way
“oh! y/n! you came!” he tried to walk over to the door but you noticed a body dragging on his legs.
“jiSUNG PLEASE DO MY CHORES FOR ME.” the boy yelled at jisungs feet
seungmin laughed, looking at you saying “ill leave you to it” before jogging over to a tangled up jisung and who you presumed was felix and tearing felix from jisungs body, dragging him away
“uh, sorry about that, hes lazy and pathetic.” jisung laughed, so did you
“i was just wondering if you were free? i was about to go up to the roof..”
jisung smiled brightly, “of course, let me get my coat and phone.”
once he was ready you two went up to your apartment, you told him to come in and wait a bit while you made him a hot drink of hit choice, then you grabbed some pillows and your box and you both walked up the remaining flights of stairs to the roof
it was the beginning of a tradition really, youd go down and grab him, his housemates would call for him as soon as the saw you, before he left theyd whisper things into his ear that made him blush but you simply shrugged it off
after about two months of going up to the roof together, you admitted to yourself that you liked him
a lot
you liked his smile, his voice, how he was endlessly making you happy, you liked he warmth of when hed lie next to you and the way he’d rest a hand on your lower back, guiding you up the stairs. you liked his goodbye hugs and the way he’d hold your hands the one week you couldnt find your gloves. you liked how he was so interested in the stars like you, but you considered giving up looking at the sky to simply look into his eyes because they held galaxies within them. you liked the way he’d whisper your name to check if you were awake and the gentle touch of his fingertips when he brushed your hair out of your eyes
you liked him so much, you couldnt deny it. it crushed you in a way, you thought he would never like you back, and you increasingly got more nervous and drifted away bit by bit
one night, you were up on the roof and jisung sighed loudly, you asked him what was wrong
“can i rant a little bit? please?” jisung had puppy eyes as he sat up and looked at you, you sat up as well and nodded for him to go on
“ah, this is hard,” he started before looking at the pot plants next to your set up that were the centrepiece of the rooftop, 
“i um, basically i like this uh, this person right? i like them as more than a friend,” your heart clenched and dropped to your stomach. oh. this was heart break. “we’ve been friends for a while and i thought, well, yeah i thought id been quite obvious with my feelings. i hoped that their shyness was them maybe reciprocating my feelings but? maybe not. lately theyve just-”
jisung huffed and looked up at you again, your heart got caught in your throat, you could see he was nervous about telling someone about his crush and he looked sad talking about the unfortunate circumstances
“theyve been distancing themselves from me. they flinch away we i try to be more affectionate and- and they just dont seem like they like me anymore. not even in a romantic way, in a friend way. and im just upset i guess. ive never ever liked someone this much before, every night im filled with these feelings of just wanted to cuddle with them and take them on dates and hold their hands and- and kiss them. the whole package. it hurts, y/n. why dont they like me?”
the sad feeling you was feeling showed in your voice as you replied. “youre a great person jisung, theyd be an idiot not to like you, seriously. i cant think of someone more deserving of love than you.” you tried to nervously look into his eyes
“then why dont they like me y/n? no one ever likes me.” he was still looking down onto the ground
“i like you jisung.” 
oh no
oh no oh no oh no oh no oh no W O R D   V O M I T
you clenched your eyes shut, your heart was beating rapidly, you cant believe you just said that when hed just been speaking about liking someone else. you wanted to cry, to bury yourself alive, anything to get out of that situation.
“really? what?” he snapped his head up, staring at you wide eyed and shocked
“nevermind jisung, forget i said it, i didnt mean to make it awk-”
jisung cupped your cheeks, you felt his warm palms and cool fingertips before you felt his lips, slightly chapped yet soft
your mind was going crazy, you barely managed to move your lips along with jisungs before he parted away, still holding your cheeks and smiling widely
“out of all the stars in this world, youre the brightest y/n.”
you died inside before realising he liked you, all the things he said earlier were about you
jisungs eyes were hopeful, happy, loving, especially when you smiled at him so purely
“jisung, kiss me again.”
and he did, pulling you into his lap and letting you tangle your fingers into his hair
he even kissed you outside your apartment, giggling in happiness and tugging you into his body before saying goodbye
jisung couldnt remember a time he’d been this happy, and honestly, neither could you.
finish!! hope you liked it omg
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