#also I am interested in andras

[toast-tales]

Oh my god there was SO much good stuff here-

I am still wondering what's up with Alex's relationship with his parents, specifically Petes. This was kind of cute but also, Xander, why you gotta be so grumpy to your dad, man.

I love Drake's sassing of Alexander.

Resisting the urge to quote all of Wick's dialogue with Xander-

The major problem.

God I love him.

SAY IT. GO AHEAD. TELL HER SOMETHING.

GO. OFF. KILL HIM.

"Fuck off," Alexander pressed his finger at his chest, "don't act all high and mighty over me. I'm nice to humans."

I actually had to stop reading to laugh because BITCH-

Also the ending oh my god. Wicks, please misunderstand and kill the wendigo. Just do it. It's okay. You have my blessing. This is the misunderstanding trope used in the best way possible lmaoo

Keep it coming with the banger chapters, Lucky! <3

Day 47 - Precipitation Shaft (Nov. 7th, Monday) Part 1

Contents (Warnings): The small little difficulties(Angsty, vore mentions, teasing (of a different kind), and character/monster info).

Wordcount: 3,300+ (Didn't expect this to be 2 parts BUT-)

Side note: This will contain experimental writing, first person (Lynette's view) will be implemented alongside third person for the two other essential characters, (mostly) Alexander and (occasionally) Drake. For those third person moments all their text will be italicized and have the characters name in Bold at the start. There may be other characters I write for using this.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Alexander

He turned the corner sharply and saw her pitiful attempt to run. His eagerness to chase sent his body in pursuit. A heavy mixture of hunger and a pinch of irritation. 

The distance between him and his prey decreased. Lynette couldn't stop to hide in any of the doors lining the hallway. If she did, he'd get her. Not that she'd reach the one at the end. His hand was so close to touching her. 

Then the door to their right flung open. Alexander's body went on the defensive. He couldn't pull her back or push her further. He jumped back and avoided the bellow of flames. They dissipated quickly, as the user wanted, and Lynette had slipped away. 

Alexander expected it to be her brother, but every nerve in his body flexed. The putrid hatred filled him once he locked onto the bloodied male who entered the gray hall. 

Not from his own wounds, Alexander, though he disliked blood, clearly recognized that scent. 

 "So close," Andras turned to fully face him. And flashed his sardonically thwarted smile. "Do you mind standing still this time, short fuse."

...

He growled out, almost in sync with his own stomach. He uncrossed his arms and annoying looked down at his own empty abdomen. I should have gone to bed after eating and not let them go. He got up, tracing over the darkness before taking his phone from his sweatpants pocket. 

The screen blinded him temporarily, then he glared at the time. It was three in the morning. He slipped it back into his pocket and took a few steps near the vanity. He stopped and looked at the makeshift bed on the floor with the man sleeping on it. 

Fucker. I told you to sleep on the bed. 

Alexander stood over him, crouched down, then scooped him up without much effort. 

"Ah-he-" Petes panicked. Alexander walked him to the bed. Though around a similar height, he carried his dad as efficiently as a mom would a kid, "HEY!" Alexander threw the grown man onto the bed and turned around. "Alex!"

"I told you to sleep on the bed," the glasses-clad male replied with aggravation. 

"And I told you to sleep on the bed, Alex!" Pete's said. Alexander glanced back to see his dad swing his legs to hang off the bed.

"Hell no," Alexander said. "I like the armchair." He turned to face forward again. He walked ahead and grabbed the rental car keys. "I'm going out to get food."

"It's late-" Petes pushed off the bed. 

"I'm starving. It's either I eat something now or..." His stomach whined. There's a worthwhile meal here that I can't even have.

"I'll make you something,"

Alexander held up his hand to stop his dad, "no, I want to feel somewhat satisfied." He felt his dad near him, and the hand reached out. He flipped around and pointed to the bed. "Don't worry about me. Get some sleep."

The sympathetic eyes stung. Alexander didn't let himself say another word. He pulled his attention and went out the door, no longer listening to what Pete's said next. 

He realized he didn't even have glasses when entering the hall. He wouldn't go back in the room and look stupid, either. He gripped the keys and went to the door next to theirs and across from the staircase. 

He stood before it and called, as he didn't want to knock. 

"Argh, what?" Drake's sleep tone questioned.

"Come outside your room, now."

"You better have a damn good reason," Drake grumbled, hanging up. Alexander could hear the rustling beyond it. The door opened, and before he could answer, his best friend did.

"For the last time, I'm not switching rooms with you." 

"We're going out for breakfast; you're driving." He tossed up the keys, and Drake fumbled but caught them. 

"Oh, going out? Can you get me some magus blood while you're out?" Wenna hummed from the bed. 

Drake walked out with the keys and shut the door. They could both hear her whine from beyond it. 

"I already had my fill yesterday," Drake muttered behind Alexander, who moved to the stairs. 

"I didn't." 

"Of course, you didn't." Drake sassed, adjusting his hoodie. 

...

Drake

He descended the stairs behind Alexander. I finally fell asleep, and you had to wake me up. He played with the keys in one hand, abruptly stopping as the physically imposing male did. He knew what floor they hit. 

He moved around him and remarked, "Her brother will eradicate you if you try." 

Alexander grunted, "yeah, yeah...it's not like I would, anyway." 

I'm inclined to doubt you. Drake thought to himself. They made it down, walking along in the dark. Drake took a moment to appreciate the calmness of the night. Or he would have if he also wasn't tuned in to Alexander's hunger.

"I swear you ate earlier."

"I did," Alexander grumbled. 

"Does Lynette get to you that much?" They walked down to the garage and to the car. 

Alexander got to the passenger side and awaited Drake to open it. He glared at him from over the car roof. "You know the answer, asshole." 

He unlocked the car for Alexander and himself. He buckled his seatbelt.

The blonde-haired male said, "it was also due to that stupid dream; it got me riled up and pissed."

Drake kept his eyes on the road as they drove down the driveway, yet his ears listened. "Was it just a dream about eating Lynette?" Now I feel less wrong about that biting one. 

"Yeah." His friend rested back. 

Drake heard the trembles, "besides the sound of your heartbeat, you know you're a terrible liar, right?"

"You and your fucking weird habit." He tapped on his own ear, "wear earplugs around me or something." Alexander covered his chest as if that would stop it. 

He sounds embarrassed now, and he doesn't want to tell me. If Lynette was the problem, he would have complained by now. 

"Did you have a dream with me?" 

Alexander shivered, and Drake realized how that sounded aloud too.

Please say no.

"For fuck's sake, never say it like that again." Even though it both irked them, it was still funny enough to make Drake smile and Alexader. You were the one joking about the plus one on the way here.

Then his mind returned to the question, "that's not a no."

"I was chasing the shrimp down this long hallway, and I got so close to catching her, but..." Drake listened to the hard pounding coming from Alexander's chest. "Then, one of the doors in the hall opened. Someone attacked me, and I thought it would be Wicks or some shit. But it was fucking Andras." The name left between gritted teeth.

The vampire beast fell silent. His hands trembled as he held the steering wheel, and he found it hard to focus on the road. "I'll handle it next time."

Alexander turned his head immediately and shifted to face Drake. He yanked his seatbelt too fast, and it clicked. His hands slammed on the middle compartment. 

"LIKE HELL I'D LET YOU HANDLE THAT PUNK ASS-"

"I don't need your protection, Chase." Drake cut in. He felt his foot twitch on the pedal and pressed further. 

Alexander pointed to the speed-o-meter, "slow down, fucker, AND it's not even about protection." 

You're a liar. You and everyone else. Don't sit here and act like you don't think I'm weak. Drake thought to himself as he took his foot off the pedal entirely. It let the car roll as they went through the quiet town, with every light being green.

"The C.P.P.A. are already involved and looking for him anyway. They'll probably have a better chance at catching that lucky bastard than us." Alexander said as he rested back. He undid his seatbelt, given its numerous clicks and given that it locked. The car started to beep at his being unbuckled when the vehicle was moving. "I know it's unbuckled, fucker," he said to it.

Drake rolled his eyes, "like they'd care that much." I should be the one to handle it.

"HE'S A FUCKIN' BLACK MARKET SELLER. OF COURSE, THEY WILL." Alexander yelled. He threw his hand out and gripped Drake's hoodie at his right shoulder. "Don't you dare try to find and take him on like an idiot!"

He slammed the brakes on the car immediately. It jerked Alexander forward and himself. Drake didn't look at Alexander and slowly drifted toward the turn lane to do a U-turn. "We passed the store."

And for the rest of that night, Drake no longer talked to Alexander about the subject. 

...

Lynette

It's so different. I thought to myself. My eyes traced the telephone wires. My brain refused to put everything together, but it made sense. Why they brought so few people home to meet me, why Wicks and I went to different schools, and why Charletta never went to school with us. 

They always acted carefully, watchfully, and quickly denied any sort of magic or monster talk when I was younger. I started to wonder if that's why we moved so much. I couldn't work up the courage to ask. 

I love them all so much. I didn't, nor could I ever hate them. I softly listened ahead to Madre and Padre in the front seat, then Charletta and Ulysses in the middle, in front of us. I didn't get to talk much to him, yet he seemed split between Drake's calm, soft-spoken nature and Wenna's bombastic hype. I could tell they were siblings.

And no matter how much I wanted to distrust Ulysses, the pure joy on Charletta's face when she was near him made me smile for her. Especially when I saw him give her that same look. 

"Lyn," Madre called from up front. I perked up and looked ahead, I just realized we stopped. "Si en algún momento te sientes incómoda, te llevaremos a otro lugar." Madre smiled at me and waited for confirmation.

It took a second. Wicks was about to help me. I beat him to it, "thank you. I'll tell you, guys."

"You better," Padre said with a gentle smirk. "or I'll put raisins in your pancakes tomorrow."

Madre pressed at his arm. "Stefan."

Padre laughed as he opened his car door. Everyone followed suit and piled out. Wicks led me from behind. I went out of Ulysses' side. I didn't realize I had almost bumped into him. He gave me a small smile when I peered up from his black dress coat. It was friendly and warm.

"Sorry." I apologized. 

Wicks pushed me ahead before he properly replied as the others parked next to us. 

I studied the large building. It looked to be a similar size as the Pizzeria. "Olden Country Eatery," the sign with a string of lights read.

Wenna came up next to us happily. "No need to sound so nervous, Lynette. I've been to one of these before. They are SO cool, they have tons of food, different types for all kinds of species."

Wicks threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me closer to himself than to Wenna.

"Thanks, Wenna." That's not exactly what I'm worried about. I am going to one of these places with my family. What if something happens to them. I didn't care whether they were magic or not. I was still worried.

The fanged gal leaned near me even as Wicks held me, "and hey, don't worry, my younger brother drinks from humans, not me." She gave a proud grin after saying that.

Wicks still refused to let go.

...

Wicks

He looked over at his sister while she tried to make some choices. At least most monsters didn't seem to care or pay attention to them. I know they are trying to make Lynette feel included, but why are we taking her here. Wicks sighed. He knew they didn't live here anymore, so none of these individuals would pose a problem to her. Yet, he couldn't shake that feeling. Especially knowing...

The first night they fought. He still wanted to yell at Lynette. She was basically a giver, and the thought gave him chills. He understood it's what monsters did. Some enjoyed it, BUT HIS SISTER. His hazel hue found Drake near Ulysses, Wenna, and his sister. 

I suspect he's not as much of a problem, though he's definitely attacked her. Then he went to glance back at the table. 

Lynette broke his thoughts, "they have DINO NUGGIES!"

The innocence of it made him smile. It was the most he had seen Lynette smile since the reveal. Even if it faded quickly, he felt relieved to see her do it. He didn't know for how long. 

"You are freaking out about the dino nuggies," He motioned next to them, "what about these bad boys." 

They were in the kids' section as these foods had less energy. He didn't think her body would react badly to it, but it might overwhelm her.

"They're little snakes!" She exclaimed. She got a few on her plate too. Wicks did the same. "Why don't we have fry snakes at normal restaurants?"

 Wicks chuckled, "I think most people don't like snakes."

"They're kinda cute, at least the small ones like garter snakes. Big ones are terrifying..." She paused, then looked at the snakes on her plate. "oh..."

"What?" Wicks asked with a slight worry. "Do you work with a Naga too?"

"I work with a half-naga half-mimic, Dragon and Fae too." She said, getting some mashed potatoes and greens on her plate too. 

What? I shouldn't be surprised, but those are SO DANGEROUS. He felt like he was about to have a breakdown. How could I not have paid enough attention? We didn't have many monsters in our area. There's only a few establishments nearby for them. AND- He wanted to shake Lynette. He clutched his plate instead. YOU SOMEHOW FOUND AND WORK AT ONE OF THEM!! L.Y.N.E.T.T.E.!!

Wick's bore down on the dino nuggies as if they were the true enemy. You could have quit. I ran through the establishment, and it's under C.P.P.A. registration and regulation. She also isn't there against her will. She could just leave. SHE SHOULD JUST LEAVE. He couldn't get over that, and his sister decided to subject herself to that for money. Sure, the amount she would set her up for life. YOU FORGET YOU'RE POWERLESS.

"Wicks!" Lynette pressed on his shoulder gently. The furrow of her brows and the concern of her eyes drew him from thought. 

He found it hard to smile back at her because of his frustration. You're too fragile too. He still gave her reassurance back. "Sorry, Lentils, I was thinking of that one time I unscrewed the cap, and you tried to add ketchup to your plate, then when you squeezed it, you drowned all your dinos." He laughed after explaining it. Genuinely. 

Her eyes went to stunned jokey shock then he saw the slight puff at her cheeks, "you're a punk! Thanks for reminding me that I'll be the first to use it this time!" 

He snickered, "not if I get it first.~" 

She pointed to her plate, "unlike you, I'm already done." 

Wicks shook his head, "hey, mom said you're sticking to me, so you ain't leavin' without me." He teased as he went to grab a few more things. He understood why his dad was laxed, and Wicks knew his mom was as worried as he was. She just hid it well. While Charletta trusted them wholeheartedly. 

Things aren't so lovely on the monster side, dad. He thought in his head. And at the same time, he couldn't push it. He couldn't imagine being in his father's shoes.

They were the first to return to the table, and Wicks groaned internally. The major problem. He thought to himself. Alexander was sitting there alone. He did glance up from his phone when he saw them approach.

He could feel Lynette's slight uneasy sitting down across from Alexander, so Wicks made sure he moved closer. Lynette started to get her ketchup bottle at the table ready. 

Wicks didn't start eating. He loathed that Alexander's eyes lingered on Lynette far too long. If I ever get a moment alone with you, just two minutes...

"What?" Alexander asked as he put his phone down with a huff. He stared directly at Wicks. He lacked fear. 

Wicks smirked, "you were the one who invited Lentils to the job, right?"

"Lentils, the bean?" Alexander saw the gesture Wicks made and realized he was talking about Lynette.

Wicks sighed. He pressed some loose strands from his messy ponytail back, "yes or no, human eater."

 "Yes." Alexander answered, "Why are you saying that like it's a fucking problem."

Lynette chimed in, "it is."

Alexander snapped to her.

SAY IT. GO AHEAD. TELL HER SOMETHING. Wicks begged in his head. Lynette looked away, and he didn't say anything. 

"You-" He looked at the buffet bar and grumbled inaudibly under his breath.

"Registration number," Wicks said to the half wendigo.

Alexander's shoulders lifted up. He then exhaled, "JX934." 

Wicks pulled out his phone and pulled up his messaging app.

Wicks: Can you send me the registration record of JX934? Thank you. 8:54 p.m.

Garter: Roger that, Boss!👌8:54p.m.

I'm not your boss. Wicks hated when Garter did that. 

"What are you doing?" He heard Alexander and decided to ignore him. Lynette tapped on him to tell him. 

"If you have nothing to hide, there's no issue," Wicks said sinuously.

Alexander looked away. Wicks could see the anxious annoyance. "I don't understand why you're going through all this trouble."

The side of wicks lips curled, and he scoffed, "I've seen the way you look at humans," he glanced over at the buffet. They still were there waiting for specialty orders. "Look at my SISTER. There's no way you're not a danger."

Lynette touched Wicks's arm, "I don't really want to hear this right now."

Alexander's voice overtook her own. "You are much more of a danger than me, jackass." He pressed up his glasses, staring back. 

Wicks chuckled, "yeah, but unlike you, I care for humans."

"Like I don't care."

"You seem like you care more about your stomach than understanding anything about them."

"Fuck off," Alexander pressed his finger at his chest, "don't act all high and mighty over me. I'm nice to humans."

Lynette muttered, "nice?"

"Alright, I don't know anything about you." Wicks patted Lynette's head. "So prove it to me because I doubt you can tell me one thing about her that isn't her energy."

Alexander stood up, "I know things about her." 

"Then name ONE thing if you can't..." His phone pinged, but he didn't look at it. "I'll suspend your registration." It was a bluff. He couldn't. However, Wicks wanted to see if he could get Alexander to play along. Hopefully, this'll knock some sense into you, Lynette. Wendigo's are especially dangerous when you're the species they eat. 

Alexander kept his eyes on Wicks. He could feel the anger in his stormy blue eyes. Wicks so hoped he'd strike first. 

"Wicks, just drop it," Lynette said to him.

Wicks expected Alexander to give up after she said that. Wicks saw he struggled, and Lynette gave him a way out. 

The burly blonde refused to take it, "I recently found out Lynette's a girl-!" He cut off his own declaration, realizing how stupid it sounded. At least, that's what Wicks first assumed until he saw Lynette's quick gesture to cover her chest and the red blush on her cheeks.

Wicks stood up immediately, his eyes burst with light, and Alexander went on the defensive. "AND HOW DID YOU FIND-"

He stopped as Lynette wrapped her arms around him in a hug, "WICKS, we're in public, and it wasn't his fault; really, it was an accident. Please sit down." She whimpered.

...

@vore-toast Well well well, look at that. xD Your ramblings weren't for nothing! You guessed correct, I did add that snippet with the other from the C.P.P.A. just because I planned on it being the big reveal with Wicks later. THANK YOU FOR THE THEORY! <3

Hey, you, thank you so much for reading. It means a lot that I put out a story that people can enjoy! <3 So, I hope you continue to enjoy it as WE have a LOT more to go! YOU BETTER KEEP PROSPERING! (Nonnegotiable).

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Catch up, see some maps/art, or check the latest release dates down below  ↓ ↓ ↓ 

What I’d do for a Livable Income (Synopsis/Chapter - List)

[olenvasynyt]

“It seems like you’ve decided to fall in with two people without their homes of their own as well.”

I really need to talk about this, and the fight Feyre and Lucien have in ACOFAS in general because Feyre is so wildly frustrating during this whole conversation, and I want to delve into it line by line.

So this is when Lucien arrives for the Winter Solstice.  Elain has left the room and the argument him and Feyre have begins with Feyre saying he should live in Velaris.

Chapter 18 of ACOFAS: “‘You could come live here, is all I’m saying,’ I pushed.  ‘Truly live here, stay in Velaris for longer than a few days at a time.  We could get you nicer quarters—‘ Lucien got to his feet.  ‘I don’t need your charity.’”

First issue that isn’t a huge deal but “nicer quarters”?  Not a home, just quarters, an allowance, a charity, as Lucien says here?

And it just keeps going downhill, because when he explains that he is getting along with Vassa and Jurian just fine, she is almost taken aback and shows a bit of jealousy.  Her biases are really starting to show as well as her lack of self-awareness.

I rose as well.  ‘But Jurian and Vassa’s is fine?’ ‘You’d be surprised to see how well the three of us get along.’ Friends, I realized.  They had somehow become his friends.  ‘So you would rather stay with them?’ ‘I’m not staying with them.  The manor is ours.’” ‘Interesting.’ His golden eye whirred.  ‘What is.’ Not feeling very festive at all, I said sharply, ‘That you now feel more comfortable with humans than with the High Fae.  If you ask me—' ‘I’m not.’ ‘It seems like you’ve decided to fall in with two people without their homes of their own as well.’”

She lashes out and basically says that the Night Court isn’t Lucien’s home.  

This part is so awful to me for multiple reasons. Now, there is the critique of Lucien having prejudices towards humans in ACOTAR.  That is probably the only critique I will accept, he was an ass in the first book; the way he talked about humans negatively impacted Feyre.  And this could be applied to Eyre’s side of this argument, Feyre could be like “huh you’re friends with humans now, that’s interesting.  You always shat on humans before.”

But I do not think this can be applied to this argument because 1. Feyre, after her change to High Fae, is more comfortable with Fae than with humans, we can see this in ACOMAF, she does not like eating human food, she is hyperaware of all of the differences between being fae and being human.

and 2. Feyre and Lucien have had a conversation about the human war in ACOWAR.  Lucien said he would have fought for the humans if he was alive during the War:

Chapter 3 of ACOWAR: “‘If you’d been alive for the War, would you have fought on their side?  Or fought for the humans?’ ‘I would have been a part of the human-Fae alliance.’ ‘Even if your father wasn’t?’ ‘Especially if my father wasn’t.’”

Maybe he has had some prejudices against humans before but he does explain he would fight for their freedom, he talks about how he disliked their alliance with Hybern.  I always viewed his comments on humans in the first book as him directing his anger and frustration with Feyre and not his idea of humans in general.  He did not like Feyre for killing Andras and he had very little hope when it came to the curse. And after Lucien sends Feyre to capture the Suriel and almost gets her killed, he feels guilty and is also like “Feyre…I thought you would be more mad at me for this” and she is like “nah I get it, I killed your friend.”

Chapter 18 of ACOTAR: “‘You can’t possibly forgive me that easily for sending you into danger.’ ‘No.  And part of me would like nothing more than to wallop you for your lack of warning about the Suriel.  But I understand: I am a human who killed your friend, who now lives in your house, and you have to deal with me.  I understand.’"

People shit on Lucien for that moment but this was when he finally realized who Feyre actually is.  He realizes his mistake in judging Feyre and apologizes.  And this is when their friendship starts to truly develop.  

"‘Tam told me that your first shot was to save the Suriel’s life.  Not your own.’ ‘It seemed like the right thing to do.’ The look he gave me was more contemplative than any he’d give me before.  ‘I know far too many High Fae and lesser faeries who wouldn’t have seen it that way—or bothered.’”

And 3. also he met Vassa, Jurian and Feyre’s father and other humans during his mission to find Vassa and an army.

So him having past prejudices towards humans should not and is not Feyre’s issue with him being friends with Vassa and Jurian.    Feyre does not bring that up to him or imply it in her inner dialogue.  It seems like her issue is Lucien found friends outside of the Night Court.

“Friends, I realized.  They had somehow become his friends.  ‘So you would rather stay with them?’”

She almost sounds like she is jealous or confused.  “You would rather stay with them and not with me and the IC?”  It’s almost like she’s thinking “why don’t you love the IC and the Night Court as much as I do?” which is so ironic to me and lacking any self-awareness! You should know why he doesn’t like going to the NC, Feyre. He explains it after this moment in the conversation. 

And I will get to that point later, I want to go in order because Feyre just keeps going downhill:

After Feyre implies that Lucien doesn’t have a home, Lucien then makes a boundary.  

“Lucien stared at me, long and hard.  ‘Happy Solstice to you, Feyre.’”

He is saying, “I am done with this conversation, I do not want to talk to you anymore, I am leaving.”  

“He turned toward the foyer, but I grabbed his arm to halt him.  The corded muscle of his forearm shirted beneath the fine silk of the sapphire jacket, but he made no move to shake me off.  ‘I didn’t mean that.  You have a home here.  If you want it.’”

And Feyre does try to apologize and correct herself because she knows she was wrong for basically implying he doesn’t have a home but she is cutting over this line Lucien drew.  You can tell Lucien does not like it when she grabs him and forces him to stop leaving.

He does not want to talk to her about this, and for good reason because when he is like “alright I will continue this conversation” and begins to explain to her the Band of Exiles, she interrupts him, dismisses him, makes fun of him.  

“Lucien studied the sitting room, the foyer beyond and the dining room on its other side.  ‘The Band of Exiles.’ ‘The what?’ ‘That’s what we call ourselves.  The Band of Exiles.’ ‘You have a name for yourselves.’  I fought my incredulous tone. He nodded.  ‘Jurian isn’t an exile.’ Vassa, yes.  Lucien, two times over now. ‘He can call himself whatever he likes.’ But I asked, ‘and what, exactly, does this Band of Exiles plan to do?  Host events?  Organize party planning committees?’”

Frustration 1 with her saying, “what is the band of exiles planning to do?  Organize party planning committees?” Two pages ago there was a whole conversation and inner dialogue about how there has been no governing in the southern human lands and that Vassa and Jurian have a vision for the future and want to change, they are planning to actually do something for the humans and the land you used to live in as a human.

“[Vassa and Jurian] both trying to lead the humans who occupied the sliver of land at the southernmost end of Prythian.  Left ungoverned for so long.  Far too long. “‘Mercifully, their vision for the future of the human territories is mostly aligned.’”

and frustration 2. He was trying to explain to you his genuine feelings and struggles!

“I made friends who have something in common with me, who appreciate me,” and she interrupts him and she makes fun of him for it!  It sucks!

The Band of Exiles is a stupid name, I love Lucien but I do cringe whenever I hear that name.  And they have always had this back-and-forth banter and crude jokes with each other, but this is a terrible moment to joke around because Lucien is trying to explain his feelings and his reasons, but she’s just being dismissive.

Also another point: her looking down at him for having a group name.  She also has a group name with her friends.  The Court of Dreams, the Inner Circle.  And those aren’t any less cheesy, y'all, I’m sorry, I said it. 🤷‍♀️

Another thing that is so goddamn frustrating to me is he is like “these are all the reasons why I don’t like being in the Night Court.”  1. He can’t stand to be in the same room as Elain, he is upset that she is avoiding him.  2. He doesn’t like getting charity from her and Rhys.  And 3. he also hates how Feyre and Rhys ruined his chance of going back to the Spring Court because of the way she used him to get revenge, and the way Rhys acted with Tamlin when he visits.

“‘I don’t have anywhere else to go.  You ruined any chance I have of going back to Spring.  Not to Tamlin, but to the court beyond his house.  Everyone either believes the lies you spun or they believe me complicit in your deceit.’  ‘I can’t stand to be in the same room as [Elain] for more than two minutes.  I can’t stand to be in this court and have your mate pay for the very clothes on my back…' ‘…Tamlin sent it to our manor yesterday.  My clothes.  My belongings.  All of it.’”

And Feyre acknowledges this.  But she doesn’t feel guilty despite seeing how upset it made Lucien, how it so negatively impacted him.

“‘But the blame for that behavior was not on Tamlin’s shoulders alone.  I’d created that rift.  Ripped it apart with my own two hands. I didn’t quite feel guilty enough to warrant apologizing for it.  Not yet.  Possibly not ever.”

She can still hold resentment towards Tamlin but why can’t she apologize for how it affects Lucien?  I really dislike Feyre and Rhys because of this, and regardless of this making them look inconsiderate and thoughtless, I think this makes her and Rhys look like bad rulers.  Lucien is like, "this affected me negatively, but it’s also going to affect you.  And probably Prythian.  This was a bad call on your part."

“‘Why?’ ‘Perhaps it had something to do with your mate’s visit the other day.’ ‘Rhys didn’t involve you in that.’ ‘He might as well have…your mate should have known better than to kick a downed male.’ ‘I can’t say I’m particularly sorry that he did.’ ‘You will need Tamlin as an ally before the dust has settled.  Tread carefully.’ “I didn’t want to think about it, consider it, today.  Any day.”

Feyre just dismisses it.  She does not want to consider what Lucien is saying.  

The one thing I will sort of applaud Feyre for is when she tells Elain that Lucien is a good male after he leaves.

“‘He brought you a present.’ ‘And that entitles him to my time, my affections?’ ‘No.  But he is a good male.’  Despite our harsh words.  Despite this Band of Exiles bullshit.  ‘He cares for you.’”

However, she is lashing out at Elain because she’s frustrated with the conversation she just had and is upset that she was in the wrong.  

“I know I wasn’t truly angry with her, not angry at anyone but myself, but I said, ‘You couldn’t say a single word to him?  A pleasant greeting?’”

Feyre is misdirecting because she does not want to think about her mistakes.

I have some issues with Elain, it’s very true that she doesn’t owe anything to Lucien just because she’s his mate, I think it would be better for her to stop avoiding Lucien and actually say her feelings.  But I’m talking about Feyre in this video, I can make a Lucien and Elain video later.

I don’t know, Feyre has really gone downhill for me after ACOWAR.  You can still like her but I know I’m not the only one who dislikes her now and Feyre’s mistakes and biases and the way she hurts people cannot be ignored.  

Idk what else to say besides Lucien. Deserves. Better.

[laxibbeb]

Don’t worry, it’s truly been a week for us all. And not to flood you with asks, I just happened to have this ready at the same time as your snippet:)

I’m a fan of those Greek mythology retellings (although I haven’t finished Song of Achilles because I know how it ends and I’m scared of getting hurt). And I don’t know if you’ve ever read Gods of Jade and Shadow, but it was interesting.

Ninth House is fun, it has that mystery vibe to it while still being dark urban fantasy. Which is a genre that I don’t typically enjoy?

Also I enjoyed Too Good to be True. It was interesting trying to figure out each character’s motives throughout the book.

Have you read Priory of the Orange Tree? I loved it, but I ran into the same problem as you. I had a massive book hangover and haven’t been able to get into the second one yet 😂

I…am hesitant to tell you one of the things I’m pretentious about. I think it might give me away. I can tell you it has to do with one of my hobbies, though! For the other, I can be a bit of a snob about wine. I love a good Sauvignon Blanc. Truly immaculate. (But YES! Let’s be pretentious bitches together. That’s truly the dream. It’s also what Mor x Nesta could have been but anyway) haha maybe I’ll indulge both of us and write that someday 😊

Ooh the weaver? I see the appeal! It’s hard to pick one for ACOTAR because most of the characters are already hot. Andras, maybe? Dying for the sake of the plot? What a guy. Although I guess he’s not special in that regard, if you think about it.

I’m so sorry I just started talking😂

For non ACOTAR? I’m going to be honest I didn’t think about this either, so I’m doing the same as you. Uh, this is definitely a popular one, but that one fish from finding Nemo. Gill, I think his name is.

I can verify I am not one of the two people in the fandom who can understand that reference. Unsure if that narrows anything down for you (so I’m going to narrow it down even further and tell you I’m American)

I feel like these asks keep getting longer and longer. I don’t know what that says about us.

Anyways!

Do you have any favorite fics? They could be for any ship, honestly. I also enjoy Nessian and sometimes Feysand, and am open to other ones too.

Do you play any instruments? (I don’t think I asked this already?)

santa ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥 i hope you flood me with asks, i love them

oH MY GOD i do that too, where i leave a book when i know it'll get bad 🫢 i'm scared to proceed with other books form "The Poppy War" for an example, because i have a vague idea of what will happen and i just. i just can't i've not read "Ninth House", i wanted to but not gonna lie, i'm scared i won't like it.. leigh bardugo hasn't ever done it for me before

i wanted to give something new of hers a try, though! so maybe?

"Too good to be true" is actually going on my tbr now, especially since i promised myself i'd read more thrillers (and haven't but shhh)

i HAVE read priory, (i have like, 80 pages left, but i'm GETTING TO IT so let's say i read it for a moment) it was so good! but yeah, the second one is gong to have to wait

(i would absolutely read an 800 page long, day to day account of tané's life, though)

---

OKAY, a wine snob??? that's so classy and sophisticated of you, santa (might i say - hot) i'll wait for your other pretentious thing, that's ok see! you see the mor x nesta potential for what it really is... divine and so, so sexy if you ever decide to write mor x nesta i'll owe you my firstborn, actually

---

OH MY GOD, THE ANDRAS SHADE (i wish the most important man in the acotar series had a single speaking line, not gonna lie)

okay, here's the thing - i've watched nemo one time and, stupid me i thought that was it, so i deleted all the memories i had of this movie. little did i know people would be referencing it for the rest of time i googled gill the fish from finding nemo and you know what? i GET IT. it's his slutty fin swoop

---

you know what, if you said that you recognized what i was talking about, only then would i have IMMEDIATELY known who you are

i now have 3 pieces of information that could possibly help me in figuring out your identity, and let me tell you, it doesn't narrow it down that much 🤣 so you're in the clear

---

I BRING FORTH MY FAVOURITE FANFICTION:

i cannot have a favourite fics list without mentioning @separatist-apologist, as she's the reason why i'm even in this fandom to begin with, so even though we all know this already -> take your pick and it's my favourite ever

what lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why by @foundress0fnothing THIS ONE IS SO MUCH FUN, and it has bi lucien; what more could you want

Springtide by @clarafae i've been really enjoying this one and i'm not done with it yet but it belongs here, ok i did not think i could like high lady of spring!elain but turns out i just needed a good fic

also, i've started A Blaze in the Dark by the famous @the-lonelybarricade and i can already tell you it belongs here as well

lately i've been reading a lot of azris, actually!

Just Enough Light to Cast Shadows by @jules-writes-stories (if you're reading this because ot the tag, jules please know i haven't forgotten about you, I'LL COME BACK) anyway, i love this one and i've been having so much fun reading it

i'm due a reread of Kerosene by @chunkypossum which is my absolute favourite and changed my life, actually

AND there are so many more but i need to finish replying to you before i turn 80 years old, unfortunately

---

i do not play an instrument :(( i used to really want to play the violin when i was a kid but when i asked my mom if i could attend music school she got war flashbacks and said she wouldn't put me through that (she also said i have no predispositions for doing music, which wow, thanks mom (she was right) 😋) so no instruments for baby laxi but i like to sing in my car when i'm driving 🤣

---

we're writing love letters to one another from across the sea and as the time passes they get progressively longer we just need to embrace it

it got to the point when i'm putting dividers whenever i change the topic to make it easier to read 🤣

as always, santa tell me your answers too, please!! and have a

[blacktreacle22]

Elriel design choices?!

!!!!! Spoilers for ACOMAF, ACOWAR and ACOSF

Just some thoughts that may have been voiced already somewhere on here (or on tiktok, or instagram, or reddit (where i have also posted this….):

Just a small context: I am new (NEW) to the fandom (finished the series a couple of days ago, read them in about 2 weeks, now I am listening to them bc I am feral- next stop: ToG and CC!!)

So, when listening I either find myself rewind to listen to specific wording OR find myself wanting to do something else with my phone or just my hands or anything (like a sudoku or something).

Literally a couple of minutes ago, I was like “hmm what do I do, do I just sit in bed and listen? I don’t want to fall asleep and not know where I left the audio off” so I just stared at the picture of the book cover for ACOWAR (I read them on kindle) and as I was staring (really looking this time) i thought: “Is that Truth Teller? I mean, silly me, of course it is, it is the weapon that killed the King of Hybern, the big bad of the trilogy, duh!”

But then, on closer inspection I noticed something in the lower left corner that very much resembles a rose, imo. We already know what the rose is a symbol for, so I will spare you the Elain imbibed with spring-like qualities description. After that, I looked at the intertwined shapes of smoke, mist, tendrils, whatever you wish to call them and realized the one forming the rose is particularly lighter and the ones in the back are particularly darker- just like, you guessed it, shadows and light.

“Oh well, it could just mean that the Shadow D*ddy offered the really important weapon to the person that killed the king, not that big of a deal” (again, I will spare you the she’s-the-only-one-he-has-ever-entrusted-the-weapon-to discourse).

Or, dare I say, it was a really conscious design choice?

(REALLY IMPORTANT MENTION: when i started voicing this post in my head, the ACOTAR cover in my memory, had Tamlin’s beast on it, which I realized is actually Andras but I still made it work, I think)

I thought:

“hmm, interesting that you should have Andras on the first cover, serving as the event that triggered the whole story AND a testament to Tamlin’s power (shapeshifting- dual nature);

“interesting that you should have Rhys’ beast form on the second cover, him being the main love interest (on the book that the mating bond snapped in place and changed the story further) AND a testament to his dual nature (especially him being half-Illryan);

“interesting that you should have a dual symbolism (light and shadows, Az and Elain) both of them having a second nature of sorts, on the third cover, them being the people that basically made the story end;

So, not only are we keeping in line with the “dual nature symbolism” (which will most likely play a big part in Elaine’s book- with her being a seer) but we are also adding a duo on the center stage;

Not only are we referring to pivotal people/moments in the story, but we are putting them together in the spotlight;

If we are also to consider the fact that, in ACOTAR, we are hinted at Feysand (it is true, it happened, it is on page) in ACOMAF at Nessian (happened), I wonder what could possibly be hinted at in the third? Specifically now, that I have seen this book cover more clearly.

++++ the cover of ACOFAS is a flower, which again, great symbolism for… you guessed it, ELAINE. I do agree that it can also suggest spring, but what I think is even more important is that in spring, things are REBORN. So rebirth, a new beginning, a new story to tell, a new cycle of books.

And if you think about it, there is a new story to tell for each sister (even tho we had Feysand for the trilogy, they will still be there, and with Nyx that is a new beginning).

We have ACOSF, with friendship, love and healing.

And we have whatever is in store for us with Elaine’s book (bc I am so tired of bashing on her as a character, like it is going to CLEARLY be her book).

PS: I know it is not necessarily a good worded theory but this is my first ever post on reddit and it is currently 3 in the morning so I do hope I made sense for some people at least 🙏🥲

PPS: I am a hardcore Elriel shipper, THO, if everyone is happy and it is well written, I could eventually (months later, warm up to other ships- I am only here to read and appreciate amazing posts so please no ill-thoughts)❤️

[girl4music]

The whole secret wife thing - Shae. Married in Vegas.

You wouldn’t think Nicole would be the type of person to get married on a whim. But then you also wouldn’t think Nicole would be the type of person to go to a festival on her own somewhere she doesn’t even know at 6 years old. She’s obviously had a hard life and has been shaped by it. Woman’s got layers and I’m so glad Andras and the ‘Wynonna Earp’ crew wanted to make the audience aware of this even if they couldn’t fully showcase it. It reflects on the type of person she becomes. And that that person is a hero is inspiring.

Katherine Barrell originally wanted Nicole’s backstory with her parents to be one full of love and support. She didn’t want there to be an estrangement over Nicole’s sexuality or choice of profession/career. But I really do think it works that they made it this way for her characterization backstory because her character just seems all the more powerful and stronger for it.

And believe me - I am the last person to believe in the adage of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. But it’s different with Nicole Haught because of the way it’s written. Andras was really careful and conscientious about the way she represented and developed the character and given Nicole’s endgame, I really do think it makes sense that they went this way. That despite what awful past Nicole might have had, she still ended up with the heroes and the law.

Because she could have just as easily gone the other way with no real guidance in her life before Purgatory.

Before Shae. Before Nedley. Before Waverly.

I think that really says something about Nicole’s character. How tenacious she is when she has support. But also how brave she is when she doesn’t.

I just really love how they decided to make her more than just a main character’s love interest. In fact - in some ways - you could even say she’s more important than Waverly or Wynonna to the story of the show because she does ALL OF THIS as a 100% human.

And it’s like what they’re saying with her character is that you can do heroic endeavours and be successful at them without being supernatural or a superhero.

And that matters - you know?

A story like that matters.

A character like that matters.

I just really love Nicole and all that they did with her. Because it really does take a certain kind of bravery when you have so much to lose and when you almost do to still stand up and do the good and right thing.

[isfjmel-phleg]

Who is Delclis?

I don't have any new material for his birthday today (September 26), so I thought I'd do a general introduction post instead, in case you haven't met my OC.

Bio

Delclis (full name Andras Delclis Gearalt Phemister) is the only child of an unpopular king who died unexpectedly around the time Delclis was born. Due to shenanigans, the throne didn't go to the infant Delclis but to a distant relative, who managed to corner Delclis's mother into marrying him. Delclis grew up on an estate in the country, far away from the court, alongside his younger half-brother Elystan, the current king's heir. The isolation never bothered him; he is reserved and reclusive by nature, and his stepfather took care to encourage that. Delclis developed a passionate interest in botany and had plans to study natural science at a university, but his stepfather wanted him to have a clerical career, where he'd be conveniently celibate and therefore unlikely to continue his father's dynasty.

As it happens, neither of these work out. Delclis's stepfather is forced to abdicate for both himself and Elystan, and Delclis, at age fourteen, finds himself stuck with a throne he never wanted and has no training for. He struggles with having to be a public figure, he hates politics and hates his Prime Minister, he's in no hurry to plan an advantageous marriage, and he's unaccustomed to taking responsibility for anything outside of his own ambitions. It doesn't take him long to become desperate to get out of this role, especially as his eighteenth birthday, which ends his minority and lands him with the full extent of his obligations, looms. But can he get out of it? And is that really what he needs?

Why I Love Him

My plant-loving son! He has no social skills. He has an all-consuming passion which he has committed to hard. He's serious to the point of being comical. He named his dog Canis Familiaris (the scientific name for the species) because he didn't think he could remember an ordinary name. He went to a Halloween party dressed as deadly nightshade once. He's soft-spoken and easygoing until he absolutely isn't. He's been so deprived of attachment that he believes he can function without it. He's not malicious at all but he's so wrapped up in his own concerns that he's frequently oblivious to how he can be a jerk to other people. He has no friends. He's a lot angrier than he realizes. He needs some very bold and determined person to decide that he needs to be loved and make that happen.

Description

According to his brother, Delclis had spent so much time around plants that he had begun to look like one. He had the sturdy build of a tree, with an unkempt bush of brown hair tinged red as if for the coming autumn. His face hid beneath a camouflage of freckles and acne, and his wide-set hazel eyes were usually downcast. Whether he picked up the habit first from shyness or a fixation with the ground level and its flora no one knew. When he did make eye contact, it was either from behind the glassy safety of his pince-nez or with his neck pulled backward like a reverse turtle when his spectacles were not permitted. He seldom spoke in public, and his soft voice tended to sound as if he were reading his own dialogue off some unseen cue card.

Further Info

A lists of random OC facts for him here, newly updated and expanded as of September 2024.

Appearances

Seeing the Elephant (at age ten)

A Building Project (at age eleven)

Correspondence (shortly before Book 1--I am less fond of this early experimental piece and it may not remain canon)

The Breakfast Room (shortly before Book 3)

He also has supporting appearances in "The Boy with the Botanical Box," "In a Nutshell" and the prequel scene for Book 2, a cameo in Book 2 Chapter Four, and is quoted in a letter in Elystan's POV of "A Christmas Chapter."

[askinkiskarma]

I have took the cov vac, but I saw recently on the News that it actually is dangerous ?

As the new ARN tech used for this vacc is too new to be used now. It affects the genes of our DNA with the ARN. ARN's are the DNA messagers and transmitters of our DNA. Basically the vacc inserts new ARN in your body, replacing your natural ones by so called strong against covid.

This man that is a doctor was invited and they reported this vac as being "bad" as it goes right into your cells seed...😨

Bruh

Now I am all freacked out

Maybe I should have waited. I am still getting covid so 😭😭😭

Ok kiddos and besties, gather around while andra gives you a small biomolecular lesson x

This is the central dogma of biology:

Your DNA is basically millions of tiny pieces that when decoded, make proteins. These proteins when put together form molecules that all do different things in your body and help keep you alive and functioning. In order to do that, your dna needs to be decoded. That’s what mRNA does - it’s a medium between dna and proteins, and with its help the body is able to produce proteins and molecules.

Now, how do vaccines work? Normal vaccines work by putting a weakened virus in your body - weak enough that it won’t make you ill, still alive enough so that it will trigger an immune response and allow your body to make antibodies (little armies of soldiers) that can fight the virus should you ever come in contact with it again.

How is that different than the mrna vaccine? The mRNA vaccine, for all intents and purposes, is much better and more effective. Instead of taking the whole virus, and everything its DNA or RNA (some viruses have RNA as their primary genetic material, not to be confused witu mRNA) can encode, it only takes the intermediate mRNA of the couple molecules that actually are in charge of making you sick, and allows your immune system to make the antibodies this way instead.

The central dogma of biology goes in only one direction: DNA -> mRNA -> protein. The ONLY way your mRNA can EVER affect DNA is if they are programmed to have certain enzymes (such as DNA reverse transcriptase) which the vaccines absolutely do not.

edit: in fact, you could make the argument this vaccine is a lot better BECAUSE a lot of viruses DO have DNA or RNA that does include RNA or DNA reverse transcriptase, because this is how it keeps producing and thriving, by latching onto your own DNA in order to survive. By completely removing any unnecessary parts of its genetic code and only putting the couple of molecules that are involved in the infection, the mRNA vaccine can be considered even safer.

edit 2: please understand that the science that deals with the mRNA vaccines is in nO way "new". it is science that has been developed for years and years for other kinds of viruses. also another very important thing to understand about science - science doesn't take as long as it does because of science. science takes as long as it does because of money (or lack thereof) and bureaucracy. there are times where i have to wait MONTHS for one product in order to do my research. i have friends who have waited YEARS for some samples, simply because of shipping mishaps etc. during covid, the WHOLE world made room and way, threw every bit of money research had into finding a solution as quickly as possible. the science was there, and all of a sudden the money and resources were also there. if anything, covid showed us how quickly we could do things if more money and resources, if more interest and talk were placed on research and on developing cures.

I urge you to please do your own research before believing people on your tv - doctors or not. There is money to be made from fear mongering. TV stations, news websites etc now get paid per clicks or views - meaning the more outrageous, violent, excessive, exaggerated a story is, or the more they can get away with lying to inflate the importance or gravity of the story, the more money they make.

edit 3: medical doctors normally know jackshit about research and about micro/molecular biology. they have no idea what goes on in research, what goes on in a lab, and just like you wouldn’t trust me to go and operate on your nan, you shouldn’t trust them about information that is not at all pertaining to their area of expertise.

Hope this helps x smooches

[elevatorladylady]

Critical Reread - ACOTAR Chapter 6

Join me on a reread of A Court of Thorns and Roses

Chapter 6

Feyre gets a bath.

“What wretched power did they possess to make their lands so different from ours, to control the seasons and weather as if they owned them?”

I'd be curious to get more of an exploration on this idea. Are the high lords bending the will of the land? Does the magic balance out with having all of the seasons represented? What would happen if a high lord just didn't want to use their power to create a perpetual season? It would be really interesting if the land itself chose the season, even though we know it's tied to the high lord.

“Only a fool would run with no food, no strength.”

This is what I tell myself every time I try to convince myself to exercise.

“If misfortune forced you to keep company with a faerie, you never drank their wine, never ate their food.”

It's like SJM wants us to know that she does know the lore, but is actively choosing to exclude most of it from the world building.

“This beast was not a man, not a lesser faerie. He was one of the High Fae, one of their ruling nobility: beautiful, lethal, and merciless.”

I still struggle to believe that she knows the difference between any fae races when 95% of info she has on faeries is inaccurate. And really, do humans consider every other kind of fae "lesser faeries" too?

“That promise to my mother, cold and vain as she was, was all I had.”

Again, you'd think the idea of her family dying of starvation would be enough without the asinine promise.

“The Treaty’s summons led me to the mortal. I gave her safe haven.”

Is the Treaty's summons a real thing? If it is, why wouldn't it work to magically protect humans as well? Cause they mention several instances of the fae crossing the wall to attack humans, but humans don't have any recourse for when that happens.

“Perhaps he wore it out of solidarity.”

I looove the idea of Tamlin wearing a mask in solidarity with Lucien. Tam definitely would if Lucien felt self conscious about his scars.

“Well,” the red-haired one seethed, “now we’re stuck with that, thanks to your useless mercy, and you’ve ruined—”

What does it ruin? Am I forgetting something? Isn't actually what they were hoping for by sending Andras out there? Maybe it's all for show?

“While these faeries also looked human, save for their ears, I’d never learned what the High Fae called their servants.”

How can she tell a High Fae from "lesser fae" if they both look human with pointy ears? Are the high fae just prettier? Also, it'd be pretty cool if they had actual names for the different races of fae instead of just calling them all lesser. Feyre still uses the term as high lady and damn does that seem racist as hell.

“A bit fancy, but I didn’t complain when I donned the white shirt, nor when I buttoned the dark blue tunic and ran my hands over the scratchy, golden thread embroidered on the lapels.”

I want some fan art of Feyre in this outfit.

“I was too young to remember much before my father’s downfall.”

Didn't we establish that she was 11 when they lost their wealth? The narrative treats this as though she was 5/6 when she lost their wealth, but there is a huge difference between the two ages.

[fourteentrout]

Howdy and hello! Back again with some more questions!!

What kind of things draw you to fics? If you could have The Perfect™ fic, what would it encompass (and not just reading-wise, but writing-wise too!)?

What are things that you like to make sure is captured when you write and draw Tamlin and Rhysand? What aspects of their characters do you want to sit and stew over?

And! Tell me about your other interests in ACOTAR! What else do you ship? Who are your favorite characters? Least favorite or ones that just didn’t click with you?

Hey cowboy! Nice to see you back! Sorry about the late-ish response lol, but as you'll see, I have a lot to yap about, so. That's why.

On to the answering!

Omg The Perfect fic...that's HARD. I'm really attracted to anything character driven--I love it when a work delves deep into a character's psyche. Their motivations, their internal conflicts, what makes them tick. Fics that explore this in both prose (?) and dialogue are my SHIT I love seeing characters interact but also seeing like why are they acting this way? What is the driving force behind their reactions, their impulses, their calculated moves? Etc.

HOWEVER in a PERFECT world, a fic that smoothly marries both character driven and plot driven aspects of the story would be peak. Being able to inject a character's entire like essence into the action and plot itself is something that I wish I was automatically good at, and it's something I'd like to work more towards as a writer.

I also often do like a happy ending but open endings are also very fascinating to me, I really like it when an author sorta leaves it up to the reader. Sad endings tho...I have to be in a very specific mood, ykwim?

As for the aspects of Tamlin and Rhysand I like to capture...I really love the sort of orbital essence of their pairing. The fact that they're lives are sort of intrinsically tied, and even from the start, when they're younger--them sort of having this connection they have with no one else. They just Get each other, and then their lives are changed forever, and they still are in the same position as before--legitimately no one else could understand what the other went through as intimately as they do. But they can't connect with each other over it anymore, and that kind of breakaway is so harsh that there's literally no resolution.

And that always makes me think about like--how does attraction fit into this? Lust? Love? Care?

I also always like to stew over their individual relationships with control. How Rhys is always in control of himself, his power, and Tamlin can't seem to get a handle on his, when really, I think they'd like to be the opposite. I often think about Feyre's observation of Rhys in the war, when he really gets to unleash himself, the way his energy sort of shifts in that moment. And Tamlin, how instead of him being able to move easily into a release of control, has it wrestled from him by his own power. He never wanted to be High Lord, nevermind a tyrant, but he just doesnt have the control of his power that Rhysand does. I love the way they're counterparts (almost foils I think) to each other in this aspect.

Other acotar interests, let's see...well I'm mad into Azris right now lol. They're fantastic. I love the way Azris fans saw like, max, 2 on-page interactions with them and RAN with it.

I also, im afraid, am a sucker for Nessian. I do think there's a lot of really shitty aspects of how their relationship was developed in canon, but there are some fics out there that are just so much more fitting for their characters that I can't help but love it.

I also kinda love the Band of Exiles. They're like the resident throuple in my mind. Lucien is a fav of mine and I think it's great that he's developed this friendship with two humans after being someone who kind of detested their kind from the start (out of grief for Andras). I also think he meshes with them better than anyone in the night court, and that's nice to see after he sorta got his life turned upside down.

I also really love Emerie and Gwyn. Friendship is magic.

Anyways, thank you again for popping in! As always I can't keep my mouth shut lol.

[thecatsaesthetics]

Hi Cat! I came across this post [https://thecatsaesthetics.tumblr.com/post/750421623870472192/maevecrom-i-think-alot-of-the-stans-of-nesta] and I was wondering if you'd be willing to expand on Lucien's failings here? Nesta and Tamlin speak for themselves, but I've always struggled to articulate my...I suppose "frustration" would be the apt term for Lucien's actions, especially within the context of how events played out in the Spring Court.

So link to the post here:

So I think Lucien is a very interesting character at least until mid way through ACOWAR (where SJM decided to drop him).

He is incredibly cruel to Feyre in the beginning of ACOTAR, which you could claim is either because he was upset over Andras death or he was playing “bad cop” to make Tamlin look better. Either way it doesn’t make it okay, if it’s the former Lucien knew Andras was doing this to save them (and hence not Feyre’s fault) and if the latter it seems very gross to attempt to isolate Feyre into the arms of Tamlin.

Lucien then becomes genuinely became Feyre’s friend but it not enough for Lucien to want to help Feyre get out from her toxic relationship with Tamlin. In my own opinion Lucien read in ACOMAF as a third abused party; he actively wanted Feyre to stay, and keep being abused, so he had someone to “suffer” along side him.

None of this makes him a terrible person, but Lucien admitted that Feyre was a better friend to him than he was to her. That sums it up, he failed her. He saw her being abused and he did nothing. There is no excuse for that, and saying “I’ll talk to Tamlin” or “you need to give Tamlin time” is bullshit.

On top of that the earlier aspects of their relationship (how he, Tamlin, and Alis all effectively lied and manipulated her into breaking the curse) was never acknowledged by either party. However given that, like Tamlin and Alis, the entirety of the relationship came about through manipulation and isolation, it makes complete sense that their friendship more or less disappeared.

And while you cannot blame Lucien for wanting to break the curse, or even using Feyre, it was not Feyre’s responsibility to save Prythian. And like I said it makes sense that with time Feyre just grew apart from Lucien. The relationship was not built on truth, unlike her relationship with Cassian/Mor/Amren. Those relationships were not based on manipulation or an attempt to use Feyre to bring about a resolution. They built those friendships genuinely and that is why Feyre’s relationships with them only continues to flourish. One of the most important things to Feyre is truth and having truthful equal relationships (which is why ACOSF is infuriating lol).

So I wouldn’t say Lucien is the worst or he’s undeserving of forgiveness, or happiness. I would say it makes complete sense that Lucien and Feyre grew apart.

Also fyi my name is Kayla not Cat. That’s just my blog name.

[bloodofthefates]

x. plot ideas?

For Feyre: - ACOTAR re-mix where Rhys (still under the guise of working with Amarantha) was the one tracking Feyre in the woods that day when she kills Andras. I've written this plot with a friend on discord before & would love to expand on it if any Rhys writers would be interested. Essentially if Feyre ends up Under the Mountain sooner and under different circumstances/if Rhys was trying to hide or protect her from being Tamlin's human sacrifice. For Nesta: - This one is always a little out there, but I am always curious if Nesta had been the one to go instead of Feyre how things might've gone differently. I think Nesta going in place of Feyre would've been very different for Tamlin (and probably not all in good ways?) but it's always remained a point of note to me that already glamours didn't work on her. I am always very intrigued at the prospect of a Rhys & Nesta dynamic if we still follow the ACOTAR plot, or how else we can re-mix plotlines from the original intro. (don't come for me, I also still love Feysand I just genuinely think Nesta and Rhys make a much better enemies to lovers trope. I don't think Feyre ever hated Rhys enough for them to be considered enemies)

I'm just babbling & spitballing but wondering if any ACOTAR friends would be interested? I'm really in some plotting moods and would love any and all ideas, these are just a few jumping off points that have been rattling around in my head. I would always love to write with any other members of the IC or the Valkyries too but just let me know in the comments or send me a message!

[zucchinibread777books]

ACOTAR Book Review Pt. 2

For this post I will focus on some of the issues I had with specific characterization. The points aren't fully related to each other, apologies. Also...spoilers ahead....obviously 1. The references to Feyre's love of painting. I liked the idea of her interest in painting but the application was poor and unnatural. She will randomly add one sentence about painting during a very intense scene with no transitions in or out of the thought (this also relates to the point I made about 1st and 3rd person pov in my first post) for example: pg 296 “To paint her would have driven me to madness”. It distracted from the scene and didn't really add anything. 2. Tamlin’s character. Since we don’t learn Tamlin’s real motivations until about 250 pages into the book, the majority of the romance seems surface level and his character is incredibly one-dimensional. The author expects us to accept that he would fall in love with the murderer of someone in his court with little apprehension. I could not get invested in the love story because his flip from wanting to kill her to saying she could live with him was so jarring and unnatural that I couldn’t tell if it was going to be revealed later that he was lying to lull her into a false sense of security. After the first hundred pages or so when his reasons still weren’t revealed I began to believe that he had no reasons and it was truly just poor writing. Even still, we saw none of his internal conflict with the idea of living with his friend’s murderer. He seems to view her as a lost pet and does not express any righteous anger or discomfort with living with a murderer. In an attempt to make him kind the author has taken away his humanity (I see the irony yes). I am aware that this is an interpretation of Beauty and the Beast, but it was more of a caricature than anything. 3. Expanding on that, Andras was an important piece of the plot and yet given no characterization whatsoever. I was expecting to learn that Andras was Tamlin’s brother or close friend or literally anything about him past the fact that he was a part of Tamlin’s court, but was given nothing in return. A character whose death is meant to facilitate the main character’s growth should have been given a story to help show why she should care about his death. She understands on a surface level that he was Tamlin and Lucien’s friend, but they never talk about him as a person and she never asks, even after realizing her wrongdoing. I will discuss these a bit more in other topics but that's the general issues I had with those two.

[lanasblood]

ANDRA ♥︎

te iubesc. ek het you lief. unë të dua. እወድሻለሁ. أحبك . Ես քեզ սիրում եմ. munsmawa. mən səni sevirəm. maite zaitut. я цябе кахаю. আমিতোমায়ভালোবাসি. volim te. oбичам те. မင်းကိုချစ်တယ်. 我愛你 . t'estimo. gihigugma tika. ndimakukondani. ti tengu caru. miluji tě. jeg elsker dig. ik houd van je. ma armastan sind. melɔ̃ wò. دوستت دارم. au domoni iko. mahal kita. minä rakastan sinua. je t’aime. is breá liom tú. quérote. Მიყვარხარ. ich liebe dich. Σε αγαπώ. rohayhu. mwen renmen ou. aloha wau iā ʻoe. אני אוהב אותך. मैं आपसे प्यार करती हूँ. kuv hlub koj. szeretlek. ég elska þig. a hụrụ m gị n'anya. ay-ayaten ka. aku mencintaimu. ti amo. 愛してます. мен сені жақсы көремін. ខ្ញុំ ស្រលាញ់ អ្នក. ndagukunda. 사랑해요. ez hej te dikim. ຂ້ອຍ ຮັກ ເຈົ້າ. te amo. es mīlu tevi. aš tave myliu. ech hunn dech gär. tiako ianao. saya sayang awak. inħobbok. 我愛你. aroha ana ahau ki a koe. Би чамд хайртай. nimitztlazohtla nimitznequi. ayóó'ánííníshní. म तिमीलाई माया गर्छु . jeg elsker deg. زه ستا سره مینه لرم. kocham cię. ਮੈਂ ਤੁਹਾਨੂੰ ਪਿਆਰ ਕਰਦਾ ਹਾਂ. sin jaalladha. kuyaykim. я тебя люблю. oute alofa ia oe. ke волим те. kea u rata. lúbim ťa. ljubim te. waan ku jeclahay. nakupenda. jag älskar dig. uua here vau ia oe. நான் உன்னை நேசிக்கிறேன். ฉันรักคุณ. ང་ཁྱོད་ལ་དགའ།. oku ou 'ofa au 'ia koe. ndza ku rhandza. seni seviyorum. я тебе люблю. men sizni sevaman. tôi yêu bạn. rwy'n dy garu di. ndiyakuthanda. i love you. nga yawne lu oer.

i can’t thank you enough for your amazing notes, i am in love. special thanks to you for noticing the poem, you’re the first to comment on it (and you googling it made me crack up honestly, but yeah, i’d probably do the same) <3

also publish a book asap so that I can throw money at you. 

NO. I said it first to you... so you do it and i’ll follow, remember? but i love the second half of this comment so much, and i’m still grinning when I write this, because, babe, you know, you don’t need to wait for a published book to throw money at me (and suddenly the urge to become a stripper is back)

awww andra I absolutely loved reading your theories, they're so interesting!! personally, I have a love-hate relationship with amnesia tropes because they always frustrate me as a reader. so, I didn't want to put you through the same experience. the unfamiliarity of the village is indeed because it belongs to another clan (I read that some clans like the tipani have multiple individual villages in different locations within the forest/jungle and I kinda wanted to play with the idea). I intentionally left it open for interpretation, but in my perspective, it was neteyam's brilliant idea to go there at the last minute due to the reader's worsening condition and the shorter distance compared to their own village; I also wanted to hint at the fact that neteyam is well-liked by everyone, including other clan leaders who praise him and speak warmly of him, which is why it only makes sense that he receives help from everyone whenever he needs it. in this scene world-building was a bit struggling since I tried to write it through her eyes (which is probably the main reason of the confusion) but I learned from it and I’ll do a better job at explaining in chapter two. 

I’m back to being confused, and i love it

I hope this confusion regarding that part is resolved after finishing the chapter. in this scene, I tried to emphasize the information asymmetry between neteyam and the reader because they are literally talking past each other, missing crucial pieces of information lollll

THANK YOU SO MUCH ANDRA I LOVE YOU MORE AND YOU ARE LITERALLY THE QUEEN OF MOTIVATION BECAUSE CH. 2 IS ALMOST FINISHED NOW BECAUSE OF YOU!!!

p.s. you figured out the four syllable sentence so quickly wooowwww I’d say I am impressed but you’re andra, of course you’re gonna figure it out 🥴♥️

SKYRACER | neteyam x reader 

pairing: neteyam x f!reader

summary: you love your life, and you love your two best friends, lo’ak and kiri, missing them deeply when they leave for the tulkun season at the eastern sea once a year, leaving you all alone with the rest of the sully’s, including neteyam. as you prepare for another farewell, everything takes an unexpected turn on a fateful night, altering the course of your lives forever.

word count: 4.9k

warnings: mention of blood, (no sweat), and tears, best friend lo’ak (platonic soulmates), lovely supporting friend kiri, tension between neteyam and you, protective neteyam, caring neteyam, angry neteyam, mention of heartbreak from previous relationship, alcohol use and parties, basically the beginning of a love story through melancholy and hardships . 

note: takes place five years after the events of atwow. this is a repost. series masterlist

* gif‘s not mine.

in the depths of my mind, I kept you hidden,  a treasure too priceless to be revealed,  for your soul is pure, your beauty unbidden,  a rose in the fields, unconquered, unconcealed. 

On the night when it all began, the sky stretched above, clear and serene, while a gentle breeze rustled through the air. The moon, a slender crescent, cast its ethereal glow upon the dense forests of Pandora, drawing intricate shadows upon the tents nestled amidst the towering trees. Its radiance danced upon the still surface of the deserted lake, while the forest itself seemed adorned with a tapestry of fallen leaves and meandering vines.

Your body felt weak, your heartbeat faltered, its rhythm growing feeble, and your pulse felt strangely sluggish. With a heavy sigh escaping your lips, you sank down onto the ground, your trembling hands finding their way to the tangles of your hair. The wind, mischievous in its playful dance, toyed with the fabric of your loincloth and the flowers and feathers that adorned your form, teasing and loosening a single strand from the intricately braided locks that Kiri had graced with delicately handcrafted beads that evening.

With a desperate gesture, you pressed the balls of your hands firmly against your closed eyes, seeking respite from the world. Colors of light and dark swirled in a dizzying dance behind your lids, creating a kaleidoscope of sensations. The sharp pain that had taken residence above your temples intensified, causing another low, pained sigh to escape from your chapped lips as if carrying the weight of your weariness.

You heard your name before you felt his hand on your arm, his knee touched yours and for a brief moment, your heart almost completely stopped. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him yet; your eyes were strangely veiled as if they were watering. “What’s going on?”

There was an uncomfortable metallic taste in your mouth, and you carefully put your hand to your lips, only to discover the crimson evidence of blood trickling on your lips from your nose. Images of that night were difficult to push aside anyway, but in connection with the headache, it was almost impossible to suppress the onslaught of memories. 

You cursed under your breath, your voice cracked and feeble, as you looked up at Lo'ak with an awkward expression.

“Bro—” Lo'ak’s voice trailed off as his eyebrows shot up, his gaze shifting to the blood on your hand and then on your face. Swiftly, he retrieved a cloth that was secured to his side near his hunting knife. “Take this, it’s clean. I only used it to polish my knife.”

Gratefully, you accepted the cloth and pressed it against your nose to stem the bleeding.

“You need to see Tsahìk,” he said softly, his eyes fixed on your profile.

“That's—” you began to protest, but the pain cut through your words. It hit you suddenly and with greater intensity than before, almost violently, leaving you gasping for breath. You attempted to stand, but your knees gave way, and you slumped down. Lo'ak struggled to keep you upright, his arms straining to support you.

“You have to see Tsahìk,” he repeated, and you could only weakly shake your head. Blood trickled down your chin in thin lines, dripping onto the edge of your upper piece, leaving dark-red stains on the feathers. “You’ve been feeling unwell all evening. I’m worried about you.”

That’s how he was, Lo'ak Sully. Caring and considerate, not towards everyone, actually towards no one, but towards a selected few, including you. Instead of enjoying the celebration held in his honor, he had barely left your side throughout the evening. Even now, he preferred sitting with you rather than accepting another drinking challenge. In two days, he would embark on another journey to the Eastern Sea as the Tulkun Season was about to begin, and you wouldn’t be able to see him for a long, long time. Actually, you should be grateful; missing him would only be temporary, and you would have something to look forward to. Five years ago, when you thought you would never see the Sully’s again, it looked quite different. Back then, external circumstances had forced them to leave your clan and seek shelter far away in the East, leaving you with a void deep inside you. Fortunately, those external circumstances had been resolved by now, and Lo'ak, he was both Omatikaya and Metkayina now, being the bridge between the two clans, with the tattoo on his side below his cummerbund serving as proof. You were very proud of him and loved listening to his stories about his other friends and adventures. However, the farewell was close, meaning until his return in six moons, you would miss him, so much. 

“You’re drunk,” you managed to say with difficulty. Speaking was incredibly hard for you, and the words felt fragile on your lips. “The village is over an hour away. And I won’t let you fly; I’d rather die a wretched death out here.”

“As charming as ever,” Lo'ak muttered but secretly agreed. “Y/n, I… Can you stand up?” Of course, you couldn’t. He presumably realized that in the next moment. “I’m going to quickly run back to the party, and you’ll wait for me to return, okay? I’ll hurry, I promise. Do you understand me?”

Your nod came seconds too late; he had already headed back toward the direction of loud music and youthful laughter. The vibrations reached the ground, shaking the earth beneath you. You could faintly hear Kiri’s laughter as someone played the blue flute in the background. The spots danced before your eyes without you having to close them, and while the pain in your temples had eased, every sudden movement felt like your skull was about to explode.

A small group of young Na'vi passed by on the other side, maybe ten meters away from you, laughing and drinking while heading straight into the forest, but without noticing you; two couples, maybe a year or two older than you, with their hands clasped and bottles sharing.

The following thought brought a crooked smile to your lips and, inexplicably, tears to your eyes. But it was true. Pathetic as it may seem at first glance, all you wanted was to be truly loved, to have your mate by your side; a man with a strong heart who would love you like Jake loved Neytiri, who would call you beautiful even in the mornings when you woke up with messy hair and a puffy face; who would create a safe haven in his arms, where you could be vulnerable and share your deepest secrets; who would make you laugh with his infectious sense of humor, turning ordinary moments into extraordinary memories; who would hold your heart in his hands and cherished it as if it were his own, loving you unconditionally, flaws and all, reminding you that you are enough. Sometimes, more than anything, you wished for that to happen. And on those days, even Neteyam te Suli Tsyeyk'itan seemed somewhat attractive with his fleeting, almost coy smile directed towards yet another girl.

Another girl, yes. By now you were convinced that not just the girls but your whole clan had developed a crush, no matter how tiny or big, on the golden boy, and he liked that, of course, he did, he loved the attention and praise from almost anyone; almost, leaving you to possibly be the only person in the whole village who he wouldn’t willingly exchange a word with. Not that you minded, on the contrary, you’d never gotten along with Neteyam since you were kids and you knew that it was mutual. 

It wasn’t that you had never been in love before, experiencing the euphoria and joy of a promising and fulfilling future ahead. But once your heart had been shattered, it became challenging for you to trust in someone else’s words, no matter how beautifully spoken. This is why stepping out of your comfort zone felt incredibly difficult for you.

“We’re back,” Lo'ak’s voice interrupted your thoughts, and as he helped you up, you realized who we referred to. Indeed, Neteyam Sully stood before you, holding the saddle for his ikran, and looked down at you, almost with a hint of pity.

“Why him of all people?” you grumbled, giving Lo'ak a weary glance. You felt like tears were ready to spill at any moment. “What about Kiri?”

“I didn’t want to interrupt Kiri in her debate on equality versus equity against that flute guy. Plus, Neteyam is probably the only one around here who isn’t too drunk to fly.”

“No one?” you exclaimed, unable to hide your disbelief. However, before you could receive a proper answer, Neteyam himself lifted you onto his ikran, who rested a few meters away beneath the canopy of flower trees, alongside the other majestic creatures. With a swift motion that would typically have prompted an eye roll of annoyance — your current state sadly left no room for such sentiments — he positioned himself right behind you, his presence uncomfortably close, your thighs almost touching. He gently patted his ikran on the head to greet her, before he encircled your waist with his arms in a way that made your back lean onto his torso. And then, with a profound connection, he established a swaheylu bond with his ikran.

“Hold on tight,” he whispered to you and nodded toward a slightly lost-looking Lo'ak behind your shoulder. His voice trembled slightly, almost imperceptibly, as he continued. “I may not be fond of you, but I really don’t want to bear the responsibility for your death. Got it?”

That night was the moment when you first grasped the gravity of the situation, realizing that it was indeed something serious.

∾⋄∾⋄∾⋄∾

When Neteyam, as carefully and gently as he could, lifted you off his ikran right in front of a village that seemed unfamiliar to you and carried you with quick, firm steps into one of the tents in his arms, the night air suddenly seemed terribly cold and biting, and you realized you weren’t home. All the words on your lips vanished into the darkness, and you seemed even too weak to cry.

He whispered reassuring words to you, told you he had to bring you to the nearest village he could find, looked at you with so much concern in his eyes that you were sure you were hallucinating, asked you to try and stay awake as long as you could, but as soon as you had entered the tent, everything seemed to flow into a single moment. After Neteyam formally introduced himself, an elderly woman with red feathers in her hair told him to carry you right after her, anything else would have been a waste of time. She asked him a lot; your name, your age, what had happened that evening, whether anything like that had happened before.

You were almost surprised at how collected he was and how many of the questions he was able to answer so quickly, but actually it was only logical – he also spent as much time with Lo'ak as you did, so you, too, couldn’t help but learn a lot about the oh-so-legendary Neteyam Sully. As if that mattered.

Inside the tent, there was an unusual calmness, contrary to your expectations. In your own clan, Tsahìk’s tent was always bustling with activity, filled with people seeking healing or simply enjoying each other’s company. But in this clan, it felt different. It was quieter, almost serene, yet it carried an air of solitude. You couldn’t help but notice a middle-aged man seated on one of the mats, his head buried in his hands as if he were anxiously awaiting something. Or someone. Next to him, a little girl lay with a peaceful face, seemingly asleep.

You really had no clue why this man of all people was stuck in your mind so clearly – this inconspicuous man, the only steadfast memory of that night. 

The night when it all began.

The last thing you felt was Neteyam’s hand on yours. Then everything went black and the only thing that remained was the picture of golden eyes and the man in the healing tent.

Vawm na txon. As dark as the night.

∾⋄∾⋄∾⋄∾

When you felt his fingertips on your wrist, you involuntarily winced and looked up. “Hey, Lo'ak,” you muttered, and he immediately pulled you into a gentle hug and kissed your hairline. His voice sounded hoarse and rough and the bittersweet smell of sweet yovo fruit mixed with a bit of salt hung on his skin; and heaven, you would have loved to never let go of him again. 

For a moment he just looked at you in silence and frowned before he sat across from you on the grass. Lo'ak started to say something, but his voice failed and a low sigh caught in the air around you. 

“You look tired.” You almost laughed, and it didn’t even feel wrong. You look tired. Tuk had said the same thing earlier that morning while sitting in front of her herbal tea and half of Neytiri’s infamous sari seed bread. She had preferred eating her morning meal in her grandmother’s tent, because you were there too, not for relaxation, but to drink the disgusting mixture Mo'at prepared for you every single morning for the last three moons. Uttering those words, Tuk had even cast the same concerned look at you, with the same worried expression on her freckled, delicate face, just like her older brother was doing now, and it had almost broken your heart.

“I didn’t sleep well last night, that’s all.”

When he said your name, admonishing with a sigh, his voice quivered, teetering on the edge of concern, before he hesitantly continued, “Are you… okay?“ 

His unspoken words hung heavy in the air, etched upon his countenance. You could see the unvoiced questions etching lines of worry upon his face, ’In the past few moons you haven’t gotten back to me or anyone else, nor did you answer a single radio call, I tried to reach out to you several times, but you ignored me, you never asked to speak to me, and when my family sent you my greetings you just smiled and made promises that you never intended to keep, nothing.’ yet they remained trapped within the confines of his sealed lips. The restrained inquiry and underlying disappointment were palpable, like a suppressed ache that threatened to consume him; and deep down, you knew his effort to withhold his concerns only magnified your own pain, intensifying the weight of his unspoken concerns.

"You’re my best friend,” he finally just said and ran his hand through his already chaotic braids. 

At the same moment, out of pure impulse, you brushed a tangled strand of hair from your face. You had already heard last week that Lo'ak and Kiri would return early to transport some rations from here to Awa'atlu, thanks to Max and Norm who had decided to expand their labs to the Eastern Sea. At the same time, you didn’t want to get too excited because they would only stay for a maximum of one week before being away for three more moons. Nevertheless, you had missed him. Every day since that party and their department two days later, you had thought of the moment he and Kiri left for the Eastern Sea, how he had briefly refused to leave until you were feeling better, how hard it was for you and his parents to convince him that everything was alright; how Lo'ak had promised to check in on you over the radio every evening just before the eclipse, how he had kept his promise, but you hadn’t, and how you were contemplating telling him what had happened in those three months since he was gone, too anxious of his reaction; even more than the one time you had to make an important decision almost ten cycles ago:

“Why is he so mean? His radio code name is Pathfinder, and he has the audacity to criticize mine? He called me Plain Grandma, can you believe that!?”

“He also called you Slow Vipertail which is far worse in my eyes,” Lo'ak had commented dryly.

“Shut up, Eagle Eye!” you had crossed your arms in front of your chest, pouting, “What is so bad about Stargirl?”

“No offense but it couldn’t be any girlier." 

"Well, I am a girl.”

“But do you want the enemy to know that?" 

"I thought our frequency was secure?”

“You never know with them.” When you had continued to pout, Lo'ak had nudged you encouragingly with his elbow, “Come on, you can be Silent Thunder if you like.”

“Isn’t that what you call your farts?” Kiri, who had remained completely silent during your discussion, was the one who had made that comment. You had made a disgusted face in response.

“Okaaay,” Lo'ak had groaned, “Then be anything but Stargirl, Eywa, just choose something or I’ll do it for you. Remember, your code name sticks with you forever.”

In the end, the discussion had dragged on for so long that during the evening meal, the two of you had managed to irritate every clan member within a two-meter radius. Jake had taken it upon himself to bring it to a close and gave you your personal radio code name, which you cherished to this day. Not because it had come from your former Olo'eyktan, but from a person you loved and respected like your own father; it was more than an honor to you.

You looked at him now, at Jake’s identical copy, a bittersweet smile forming at the corners of your mouth, tinged with nostalgia. His eyes were like the early sun rays that morning at Tsahìk’s tent; two orbs of amber with irregular, whitish spots of cream – strange that this, of all things, crossed your mind at that second. 

“Eagle Eye to Skyracer,” he playfully nudged your knee in an attempt to lighten the mood, “Come on, tell me why you avoid me.”

And then, then you said it out loud; a single little sentence of four syllables, and his once sunlight-radiating eyes were covered by lids streaked with fine, pale blue veins, holding a glimmer of melancholy, like a fading sunset.

“Please, no,” he whispered, his voice filled with sadness, as you sought comfort in the embrace of his arms, burying your head in the crook of his neck. Salty tears mingled with your lips as you clung to each other, his fingers interlacing with yours, a desperate grip that turned his knuckles almost white, the weight of the impending fate pressed upon you both.

As the realization settled within him, Lo'ak let go of you and collapsed onto the grass, his shoulders shaking with uncontrollable sobs and trembling with the intensity of his emotions. You immediately wrapped your arms around him again, wanting to share his emotions, knowing that this pain was as much his as it was yours, while the air around you seemed heavy with helplessness as the two of you sat there, engulfed in the depths of your shared pain. 

“No!” he cried out all of a sudden, his voice choked on his tears. Saliva glistened on his quivering lips, his breath was ragged and uneven; and his eyes, bloodshot and filled with more unshed tears, refused to accept the harsh reality you just told him.

“Why? Why you?” Lo'ak’s voice cracked as the words escaped through clenched teeth. His fists clenched tightly, nails digging into the ground beneath you, as if trying to anchor himself to the pain, refusing to accept the meaning behind your words. His tears mingled with yours as you still held him close, feeling his agony reverberate through your own heart.

Lo'ak’s voice was laced with raw fury. “This can’t be happening! It’s not fair!”

The wind whispered through the grass, carrying the echoes of his anguish across the desolate landscape, but leaving his voice hanging in the air. The setting sun, a silent witness to the unraveling of two intertwined souls, cast its pale light upon the scene, casting long shadows around you.

Lo'ak’s emotions gave way to desperate pleas, his voice cracking with desperation. “Please, there must be a way. I’ll talk to my dad, he… he can…” he choked on his tears once more, “Anything. I’ll give anything.”

You stroked his trembling cheek, tears flowing freely down your own face. “I know you would. But sometimes, there are forces beyond our control, Lo'ak, I need you to understand that.”

Lo'ak’s resistance crumbled, his body sinking into a heap of devastation. His nose ran, mingling with the tears streaming down his face. He clung to you, a lifeline in the midst of a tempestuous sea, refusing to let go even as the waves crashed around him.

The evening wore on, its grey hue mirroring the somberness of your hearts. There were no words that could ease the ache or undo the cruel fate, so, you remained there, seeking comfort in the silence, finding comfort in each other’s arms for you drew strength from one another, offering support amidst the overwhelming feelings that engulfed you. 

∾⋄∾⋄∾⋄∾

The next day, as the sun bathed the forest in a golden glow, you were sitting near the quiet stream by yourself, keeping yourself distracted and enjoying the gentle tickle of water, when you heard footsteps growing louder as someone approached you. You turned around, a calm expression masking the inner storm within you, just to see Neteyam, his expression hardened with determination

Your eyes met his, and you could see anger, confusion, and concern in his gaze all at once, catching you completely off-guard; it was strange that he sought you out in the first place, and then seeing him so… emotional, that was a first. 

He stood tall before you, the sun at his back, giving him an angelic glow that he surely didn’t deserve, and it was ironic, too, given his angry pout that you were sure Lo'ak would’ve made fun of if he was here. 

Neteyam’s voice was laced with a tinge of bitterness when he spoke, “You’ve broken my brother’s heart. What did you do to him?”

“You already have your answer, apparently I’ve broken his heart,” you said sarcastically to which he scoffed. You remained composed, refusing to allow his words to rattle you, and your voice carried a hint of indifference as you added, “Trust me, I haven’t done and wouldn’t ever do anything to intentionally hurt Lo'ak.”

Neteyam’s nostrils flared as frustration mingled with his anger. The man, normally composed, couldn’t be further away from that in that very moment, when he took a deliberate step closer, his gaze locking with yours. “Don’t play innocent with me. You must’ve betrayed him in some way.”

“Betrayal requires intent, Neteyam,” You held his gaze, unyielding in the face of his accusations, “Whatever you think I’ve done, it wasn’t with the purpose of hurting Lo'ak.”

Neteyam’s anger wavered for a moment, replaced by a flicker of uncertainty. His brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of the situation. “Then why? Why is he crying and suffering if it wasn’t your doing? What could have caused this?”

A bittersweet smile graced your lips as you shook your head gently. 

���It’s true, isn’t it? What Ivät said at training this mor—”

“Don’t say his name,” you warned, your voice carrying a deep, growling tone from the back of your throat.

Neteyam’s anger softened, replaced by curiosity and even a sense of empathy. Though skepticism still lingered in his voice, genuine concern emerged, “But why? Why would you go back to him? He should be exiled but here you are, running back to him after everything he’s done to you.”

“Tell me again why any of this matters to you?” you questioned.

“Lo'ak cares for you, deeply. I care for him, deeply. That means everything you do eventually affects me,” Neteyam explained, attempting to convey the weight of his words. “Understand that your actions have consequences for everyone around you.”

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now,” you declared sighing, walking past him with determined steps.

“Just tell your parents you don’t want to,” he shouted after you, “I can… My family could support you, you know. You don’t have to do anything against your will.”

“Well,” you turned around, snapping at him, “you can’t fight against fate, can you?”

There was a brief pause as Neteyam absorbed your words, realization slowly dawning on him that there might be more to the situation than he initially believed. His eyes darkened, and his nails dug into his palms as he struggled to control his emotions, “You can try.”

You let out an ironic huff, shaking your head slightly and biting your inner cheek to prevent a sarcastic comment from slipping out.

“I am not your enemy,” he continued in a softer tone, seeking your eyes, “I’m only here trying to help you, yet you—”

“That, Neteyam, is not my concern,” you interrupted him harshly. You met his gaze finally, the weight of unspoken truths hanging in the air between you. “I never asked for your help, nor do I need it. If you truly care about your brother, perhaps you should be there for him and ask him directly how you can help him instead of mingling with my private life and assuming the worst of me.”

With that, you turned back around and kept walking away with determined steps, leaving Neteyam standing by the stream alone with his swirling thoughts, but you couldn’t deny the flicker of vulnerability within you as a twinge of guilt tugged at your conscience for the way you had treated the only person who had recently saved your life, accompanied by a sense of regret for your harsh words, realizing that you had never even thanked him.

∾⋄∾⋄∾⋄∾

A few hours later, you were sitting on the wooden floor in your family’s tent; leaning your head against the slightly dirty rolled-up rug near the entry and pulling your knees so close to your body that the hem of your loincloth slipped a long way down your thigh. The evening had long since settled over the landscapes, and it was now dark outside. In your hands, you were holding a handcrafted mug with still steaming herbal tea that Kiri had brought you a few minutes earlier, and you clutched it so tight that your knuckles were clearly visible on your skin. 

Kiri was now sitting at the opposite side of you next to your hammock as she thoughtfully twisted the hem of her loincloth between her fingers, like she always did when she didn’t know what to say, before deciding to leave the fabric alone. 

“Now tell me, what’s going on?” You sighed softly and something in your friend’s gaze brought tears to your eyes, but you didn’t want to cry, not again. You liked Kiri a lot, she was the girl you were closest friends with, in the entire clan, but you hated to refer to her as ‘best friend’, although, strictly speaking, she was. You liked Kiri actually so much that you couldn’t do it to her. Not after seeing what it had done to Lo'ak. You couldn’t bear to see two broken souls within a day. But your previous encounter with Neteyam had taught you something: you had to be the one whom they heard the news of, not someone else, let alone a stranger. It had to be you. That much you owed them at least. And yet, it was so difficult.

“Everything’s fine. Really.” A weak smile crept on your face involuntarily, while you took a sip of your tea. “Come on, Kiri. Don’t be stupid, you’re missing out on the evening meal.”

“You as well.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’re always hungry.” You sat up straight and leaned one leg over the other so you could look directly at Kiri. There was something in her gaze between concern and helplessness, but you could only vaguely make it out. She bit her lower lip lightly before continuing. “I met Lo'ak earlier, he looked… he really didn’t look good, and he seemed kind of absent.”

“He’s probably missing Tsireya already.”

“He said I’d better talk to you about it.”

You kept quiet at that, unsure how to respond.

“You know, Neteyam said that you-know-who goes around saying… that he has approached your parents, seeking their approval to court you once again? Is that true?”

“Yes,” you answered without any emotion in your voice.

“But there is something else that saddens you.”

You lifted your shoulders slightly, just a tiny bit, and you already felt the tears threaten to fall down your eyelashes. You ran the back of your hand over your face, exhaled shakily, and pressed your lips together, but the first sob stumbled over your lips before you could have done anything about it. 

You muttered a curse word, and it took you a moment to pull yourself together. “I’m sorry, Kiri. I am so incredibly sorry.” The tears ran down your cheeks unsteadily, and dripped onto the feathers on your chest, leaving behind light stains that faded a heartbeat later. “So far only my parents know, and probably yours, too, along with Tsahìk, of course. And Lo'ak, he knows, too. The others will find out when it can no longer be avoided, and… and this moment, it will come, but… you really cannot tell anyone, Kiri.”

Kiri stared at you blankly, a single hair strand had come off her bun and fell over her shoulder in a slight wave. She was afraid. You were too. You sniffed softly and looked down, just a brief moment before you pulled yourself together and looked up at her.

“I am dying, Kiri, and there is no cure.”

so basically, my first upload kinda flopped and I’m trying to find out the reason why, whether it’s my writing, the topic of the story (which I can understand since it’s not everyone’s cup of tea), or if it’s the algorithm. if you like this piece of writing, please let me know through your interaction 💕

[rpvlix]

ramble about Fous

//Ohh he's so underutilized... I am sure I will have some to say tho let's get going

In his original iterations I had a lot more negative feelings about Fous. His story hasn't changed much since the start and neither has his personality, but I have come around a lot more as time went on.

Used to think he was really pathetic and kind of annoying but now I dunno. I do relate to him a little more now, as I've developed him more in my head i realize that we have very similar flavors of depression and anxiety. He is pathetic but in kind of a soggy cardboard way and I like that in a man.

Back in his Prime, he and Braso were actually SUPER alike. I mean Braso hadn't been born yet, but if he had then the similarities would have been almost too strong. Very physically gifted, so much muscle. But he was an upbeat guy with not a lot of brains, loved helping people and loved mortal life.

Honestly all three of the middle siblings are a LOT more alike than they can see for themselves. They are all largely defined by loneliness and have similar attitudes and honestly even goals.

They all strive to enjoy life to the fullest. Fous has decided that this is unattainable and no longer tries. Astathis has an idea of life that makes him annoying to many other people, often prioritizing himself over everyone else as well. Braso wants to experience everything he can, more or less. It is an interesting thing for me to reflect on, at least. The ways that they compare and contrast. The ways that they might not have had the same emotional issues in each others situations. The ways they might have the same issues in each others situations. I think about these three more than I talk about them.

Fous was always rebellious. He realized really really early on into missions on the mortal planets that their lives were so much more fulfilling. Joyful. He's the one that planted seeds in Astathis' mind long before anyone could've seen things going the way they did. Ast doesn't even remember this, but Fous would often speak with his toddler brother about how unfairly Aton treated everyone. About how Astathis must grow up to be strong willed in order to survive. About how he wanted so badly to leave forever, to live and die like any mortal would.

I like Fous a lot now, I really do. I think there's a lot of interesting nooks and crannies to explore now but I just haven't had the time or the motivation to go digging yet. Historically he is one of the least used muses (he and Andras have had probably less than 10 interactions each across all iterations) so I just havent had a lot of time/reason to explore him very much.

I'm sure that someday I will find a muse that works well with him in a fun enough way that he will see some action. Until then he will sit in his room and stew, I suppose.

Its not just moping about a lost love anymore like it was in original iterations. It was a man slowly losing all hope he had, abandoning his life for one that had even a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, and then having that ripped away from him. He is utterly hopeless in a way that could be fun or also intensely depressing to delve into. And I do love that

[smallweakhardprogressbetter]

Feelings! 4/2-2023

Things active in my life currently: 

Prima gröndal (känns lite irrationellt och inte helt ärligt, men samtidigt bra och positivt med mediciner)

Södertörns högskola, Engelska A (känns som mycket att läsa men det går alltid att ta sig igenom det!)

Plugg inför högskoleprovet. (känns väldigt roligt, samtidigt som det också känns som att en kan lära sig det en inte kan, eller vet hur en ska göra)

Kontakt med vänner (känns jättebra! Vill ha ännu mer kontakt, träffa vänner ännu oftare)

Videofilmning/klippning och redigering (vill göra ett filmprojekt som kan involvera andra människor, typ skriva en komedieserie)

Things coming up

My birthday (want to meet hardy and other friends on this day)

HP (want to work hard to get good results on this)

Bali (really want to be organised and have nice luggage for this, with the right things. )

The Oscars (at the end of mars, have already seen some of the movies that are nominated) :)

Meeting hardy (want to know when he is going to and from Oslo)

stödgruppsmöte kyrkan (excited about this)

visningar i bagarmossen

worried; diseases

anxious: being alone and afraid no one is going to reply/ be my friend! That in the future no one is going to be with me, that I am going to end up being lonely and sad because of that.

Happy: feeling that I am able to let go and stop feeling certain negative underlying emotions that are causing me pain

Stress: sometimes feeling that I am spending to much time in transport, Also that I am going to be able to study for HP and also do other things that interest me!

Love: to study math, tea, books, company, people

Want: To get back to loving and romanticising positivity, positive people, the present moment, and doing things that enrich my life! Want to organise my life, want to watch movies, want to generally love more. Be more aware of when I am critiquing myself so that I can love myself more. Want to be independent.

Want to quit: drinking coffee, walking away/flying away to far in thoughts. Negative thinking, 

[sukunasdirtylaugh]

3 Pink Roses Mean, "I Love You"

-Nanami Kento

synopsis: In exchange for financial security, you and Nanami Kento sign a contract agreeing to live as couples. Sex is not required from you. What Nanami seeks is a partner he can come back home to since his busy work life forbids him from keeping a relationship while you, a college student, needs help with money. Falling in love has never been this hard.

tags: falling in love, nanami kento, slowburn, eventual romance, eventual smut, slice of life, fluff, angst, who will fall in love first?, acts of service, smut

series masterlist here:

a/n: I really really love this story so I hope you will too! let me know how it goes<3

- Andra

“Are you certain this will work?”

“Trust me Nanami,” The woman over the other side of the line confidently nodded, “She meets all of the requirements. She said she’ll meet you at a restaurant. Hold on, I’ll send you the address.”

“Then how can I know she’s her?”

“She said she’d be wearing blue. Seated towards the back.”

Nanami Kento never expected to sign himself up for a business like this. It was a hotline service that helped you find partners, and it had taken him 3 months to find someone. Just as he was about to cancel his interest in the website, they called him. Saying that they found a woman who met all of his conditions. So at the last minute, he was getting ready for a date.

He wondered if he should bring flowers. Was it too forward? Desperate? He didn’t want to appear needy nor scare her, but he also knew that it was rude to not bring anything. So an hour before the meet, he stopped by to purchase a small bouquet of 3 pink roses. It was better than a singular rose, and not as extravagant as 12 or more for a first date.

He arrived 15 minutes early dressed in grey dress pants and a white rolled up sleeve dress shirt. His brown dress shoes were polished, as he always did, and his hair was neatly combed. A couple of strands scaping though.

It was 15 minutes before 4 when Nanami showed up. It was a decent restaurant. There was a bar at the side, a few booths, and tables. It was nice, but not luxurious. When he stepped foot, he slowly made his way to the back. He stopped when he saw a girl sitting on an end booth. She was wearing a blue sundress while her long hair covered her face as she watched her phone.

“Are you…” Nanami tried not to sound nervous, “Are you from the hotline? With Veronica…” He stopped when he saw her nod at the name of their matchmaker.

“Nice to meet you,” She abruptly stood from the booth and extended her hand for him to shake. Nanami stared at the hand for a moment, as if he had never shook someone's hand, “Pleased to make your acquaintance,” He gently shook her hand back, careful not to shake too brusquely.

“Are those...:” She motioned to the flowers on his opposite hand, “...for me?”

“Yes, I thought perhaps-”

“No one’s ever given me flowers before,” Her blunt confession leaves him dumbfounded. He stares as she smiled down at the bouquet. Running a hand along the fabric that held the roses. “They’re lovely. Thank you,”

“Shall we sit then?” He motioned to the booth. “I believe it’s best if we discuss our terms and conditions.”

“Oh right,” She nods. “I actually had something to add…” Once they take a seat, she pulls out her purse to reveal a small notebook, “I’ve got a list of things we can talk about and modify based off of what we come up with,”

Nanami tried not to widen his eyes in surprise. “So you were prepared?”

“Always am,” She politely smiles, “I’m a History major, so I kinda have to be already.”

Right, she’s a college student. Nanami thought as he watched her skim through the pages. “I brought a list as well.” he pulled out his phone. “Well, a contract of sorts. But like you said, we can modify it.”

“Glad to hear we’re on the same page then.” Nanami noticed her smile once more. He wondered if she really did smile this often or was doing this out of manners. He rarely smiled and wondered if his serious face made her uncomfortable like the other girls he had spoken to.

She seemed unaffected by it.

When he finally opened up his list, he glanced to see he r. She was watching a nearby TV with a smile. He sighed. “Do you want to go first?”

“Uh...yeah, sure.” gently, she slides the list his way. He makes sure to read it through before looking up at her.

Okay with:

- Hand holding (talk before if in public yes or no)

- Hugs

-Cheek kisses

Discuss first/TBA

Cuddling.

Signs of affection-massage(?)

Not Planning in the near future:

Sexual relations. To be discussed.

Looking up to see her, Nanami notices her fingertips tap rapidly against the table. She watches him intently. “Well,” he sighs, placing his phone back into his pocket. “I suppose we don’t need to negotiate anything. What you wrote was exactly what I was looking for. I must inform you that my work requires me to travel and spend hours in my office. I do not have the luxury of simply ‘finding’ a significant other or tend to my relationships; which is why I signed up for this website. I’d only need you to stay at home, occasionally greet me, and partake in ‘couple’ activities. I will provide for you if you allow it. I think it’d be easier if you just live in my apartment so that I can come home to you. Do not worry. My presence will not intervene with your education. I will ensure it. And to compensate, I do plan to fully cover your tuition.” Her eyes widened at the statement.

“So your conditions are- live with you, do those couple things, and my tuition is paid for?” She asks in disbelief. “No rent?”

“Unless you have any protests, that’s about it.” Nanami watches her in thought. Some moments go by as he gives her all the time in the world. The last thing he would ever want is to pressure her into something she does not want to do. In fact, he was unsure if this meeting was either going to be a success or a fail. Her organized behavior gave him the slightest of impressions that maybe he’d like her organization.

According to the matchmaker, she was a college student with an impeccably clean record. No drugs, gang affiliations, and an impressive grade point average (GPA). Perhaps her nature was studious, as Nanami hoped it’d be. He was entering his late 20’s and he was certain of one thing: all he wanted was peace and tranquility; someone to go home to. Even if it was by an arrangement.

“Okay. Where do I sign?” she asks, “I assume this is a sort of contract-”

“It is,” Nanami nods before pulling out his phone once more, “I can email you the contract so that you and I can both sign it.”

Suddenly, she giggles. When he asks her what was wrong, she endearingly smiles, “Nothing. I just think it’s funny that we’re e exchanging emails rather than phone numbers or socials first. That’s all.”

He tries to read her, “Then would you want to exchange numbers?”

She grins, “I thought you’d never ask.”

After exchanging numbers and emails, they both conclude their meeting. When they stand up, she willingly gives him a friendly one sided hug instead of a handshake; as if to seal their deal in an unofficially affectionate way. “Text me when you get home,” She calls from behind. Nanami simply nods before exiting the restaurant; feeling slightly accomplished.

When he arrives home, Nanami forgets to text her. However, no more than 2 hours after their meetup, his phone rings. It was a picture of the 3 pink roses he had sent her, now in a clean vase.

Her:

Attachment: 1

Since you didn’t send a message back (I’m assuming you’re alive), I wanted to send you an update on the roses. They’re doing well, thank you.

Did you get back home safely? I didn’t hear back from you so I was kind of worried if you were okay or not.

Nanami repeated the word ‘worried’ in his mind several times as if it were a word he had never heard of. Worried. Someone he had just met was worried about him. 5 minutes later, he sent her a message of his covered feet at the entrance of his door.

Nanami:

Attachment: 1

I arrived well. Thank you for your concerns.

Have a good night.

Her:

You too :)

That night, Nanami looked over her message three times before heading to bed. He wondered if this was anything like starting a relationship. Regardless of how it began.

A/N: Iet me know how this goes! I will provide a taglist for those interested.