#also I PROMISE I’ll get back to work on posting the aus soon hopefully tonight !! I promissseeeee | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

pipermca · 3 years ago

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Writing continues. I’ve had several new bits for my Alt Modes and Alchemy AU in mind for ages. As one of them is a disjointed serial in the same way that After Tempest was, I decided I’ll pre-post the rough drafts of it to Tumblr (and Pillowfort!) the same way as I did for that story. :)

This is a direct sequel to A Bonding, a Coronation, and a Funeral, and actually begins the same evening where that fic ended.

Tentative title is The King and the Bounty Hunter, so you know where this is going. ^.^

**************************************************

King Smokescreen couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such a good time taking fuel.

Maybe it was because he rarely had a chance to sit and talk with his brother about something that didn’t involve the work of running the kingdom or dealing with the complex politics between the throne and the noble houses. Both Smokescreen and Prince Prowl had been incredibly busy for the past half vorn. Between planning and managing all of the changes Smokescreen wanted to bring to Praxus, and dodging insistent nobles who wanted to introduce their creations to the very publicly unattached King, that simply relaxing and enjoying an evening had fallen out of their schedules.

Cadet Jazz had been busy with training, of course. High Commander Irridus had advised Smokescreen privately that it likely wouldn’t be long before Jazz started climbing the ranks of the Praxian Cavalry, since he was both skilled and charismatic. Irridus wanted him in a leadership position as soon as possible. But Jazz was content to work his way up the ranks slowly, and so was spending a lot of time away doing training exercises. As a result, Smokescreen hadn’t talked with Jazz in quite a while, either, although he was sure that Prowl missed Jazz’s company far more than Smokescreen did.

The third companion at the table was new to everyone present. Smokescreen found the bounty hunter a fascinating mech to talk with. Devcon had successfully brought in the rogue Prelate Hitch, the Temple priest who had been involved in the attempts on Smokescreen’s life... And in Lord Halfsteel’s death. Smokescreen was grateful to Devon for helping to finally tie up the last loose end in the horrors that had been unleashed on Smokescreen’s coronation day. But the bounty hunter was also quick-witted, had an interesting take on the politics in the region, and listened to others with an intensity that Smokescreen found strangely appealing. And as he listened to Devcon and Jazz trade stories of their travels around Cybertron, Smokescreen watched how the winglets on Devcon’s back moved whenever he laughed in his deep voice.

Smokescreen didn’t realize how much he’d missed doing exactly this: lounging around after a meal, sitting and laughing and talking with others, enjoying a glass of engex along with the company and the conversation. It reminded him a little of the days before the crown, the mantle, and the realities of leading a country had settled on him, back when he could just relax and be at ease.

Hmm. Maybe he had buried himself in his work a bit too much.

Jazz was the one who broke the spell that had settled over Smokescreen. "Well, Devcon, it's been a real pleasure meetin' ya, but I just got back from field training and I'm runnin' low on energy," he said with an apologetic tilt of his helm. Then he turned and smiled at Prowl. "And, I promised Prince Prowl here we'd get some alone time together before I let myself collapse into stasis." He slipped his hand under the table, and whatever he did there caused Prowl to sit up straight, and his wings to flare out with an audible click.

"Jazz, please," Prowl murmured, but Smokescreen knew that the slant of Prowl's sensor wings meant he didn't really mind Jazz's attention.

As Jazz and Prowl pushed their chairs back from the table, Devcon also stood up. "The pleasure has been mine, Cadet Jazz. And thank you, Prince Prowl," Devcon said, giving them both a small bow. "Please, if you are ever in Altihex, be sure to send me word so that I can return the favour. I can arrange accommodations and company, if you desire, even if I am away on a contract."

Prowl returned Devcon's bow. "I shall be sure to do so," he replied. He nodded at Smokescreen, who was still sitting. "Good night, your Majesty." He narrowed his optics slightly. "Remember our meeting with High Commander Irridus is scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning."

From his seat, Smokescreen held up his glass to his brother in a toast. "I remember, Prowl," he said, suppressing the irritated flick of his wings. "Have a good night."

As Prowl and Jazz made their way out of the dining room, arm in arm, Devcon both took their seats again. "You must also be tired. You said earlier that you'd been on the move for almost an orbital cycle," Smokescreen said, swirling the last bit of engex in his glass before draining the last of it. "Please, don't feel obliged to stay here on my behalf. I... tend to stay awake far later than I should." He picked up the bottle, pouring himself another glass. "On the other hand, you are welcome to a refill, if you want one..." Smokescreen held up the bottle and tipped his wings upwards questioningly.

"Yes, but just a small amount. Thank you." Devcon leaned forward offering his own glass. "This engex is very good, but it's not a type I'm familiar with."

Smokescreen smiled. "I'm not surprised," he said as he started to fill Devcon's glass. He'd only splashed in a little when Devcon held up his hand for him to stop. He switched to his own glass and continued to pour. "This is Northern engex, distilled here in Praxus. The mines in that principality produce some of the purest quality energon in the country, and they have a secret process for its distillation that's only passed on from creators to creations. I daresay you won't find anything like it anywhere on Cybertron."

"I can definitely agree with that. It has very distinctive flavour." He waited until Smokescreen had filled his own glass to the top before leaning back into his seat. He took a contemplative sip. Then he said, "Would it be all right for me to be a bit familiar, your Majesty?"

"That's fine," Smokescreen said. "And please, if we're not talking about business or politics, just call me Smokescreen."

"As you wish... Smokescreen," Devcon said, but there was an odd smile on his face. "And that's exactly the sort of thing I would expect of you. You see, when I accepted your offer for dinner tonight, I was only being polite. But I ended up having quite a good time. It was like..." He tapped his fingers on his glass for a moment as he thought. "It was like an enjoyable dinner with friends." The bounty hunter gestured at the empty chairs where Prowl and Jazz had been sitting. "Being able to talk casually over fuel about everything and nothing was not something I expected when I accepted the invitation to dine with royalty."

"I know Praxus developed a reputation across Cybertron for being a severe, suffocating place, but I'd hoped that some of the news that has made its way out of here changed that preconception a little bit." Smokescreen tipped his wings upwards again. "Can I ask what you were expecting?" he asked.

"It's nothing specific about Praxus." Devcon took another sip from his glass before replying. "My services are in demand, and as a result I've had audiences with governors and nobles and all manner of rulers, all across Cybertron," he said matter-of-factly. "And I've come to expect a certain distance that rulers keep themselves from other mechs. I assume some of it is to ensure an air of objectivity in any association they have, but it always comes across as a coldness, or a sense that they truly think they're superior to the mechs they rule." Devcon's gaze held Smokescreen's evenly. "You don't come across that way, which is a surprise especially with what I thought I knew about Praxus. The care that you show your subjects is obvious in the way you speak about them."

Smokescreen felt a little wash of gratification at Devcon's words, and he inclined his helm at the bounty hunter. "Thank you. I hope the citizens of Praxus feel that way, too." Smokescreen took another drink from his glass and then stared into it for a moment. "There is a lot of well-earned anger and resentment towards the nobility in Praxus, and I want to do as much as I can to reconcile those hurts and indignities that have been perpetuated through generations." He frowned. "It'll take time, though, and I'm being fought every step of the way by nobles who don't want change."

Devcon's winglets twitched. "I surmised some of that in the brief I was given in the contract."

"It's a relief knowing that Hitch has been captured and will face justice along with Lady Crossflare." Smokescreen took another drink. "It's certainly not an end to the trouble that he and Crossflare caused, but hopefully other nobles will see that I'm serious about helping common Praxians, starting with those in Emerald Lake."

Setting his glass on the table, Devcon asked, "What did they do to the mechs of Emerald Lake?" His winglets twitched upwards. "I take it that's a principality?"

"Yes. Lady Crossflare and her family ruled it since before my grandsire emerged," Smokescreen said, twirling his empty glass in his fingers. "They ruled it with cruelty and greed. The crown essentially ignored all that was happening there, and for that... I must take full responsibility, on my family's behalf." Smokescreen held the glass still in his fingers and pulled another vent. "When Crossflare fled Praxus after... after the attempts on my life and the attempts on my brothers' lives, she left her principality destitute. I've sent a team there to help those in most need, but Crossflare emptied the principality's coffers and took everything with her. And now, apparently, it's in protected accounts in Altihex." He grimaced. "No amount of charms from our alchemist or spells from our sorcerer has been able to give us any information about those accounts."

"There's a reason they're called protected accounts," Devcon said. He rested his elbows on his chair's armrests and clasped his hands together. "They're specially protected with charms of their own to prevent exactly that sort of meddling. Of course, that makes them very popular with – ah – unsavory elements, but the Ruling Council in Altihex has upheld those protected accounts for hundreds of vorn." He shrugged. "You might say it's tradition."

Smokescreen nodded glumly. "Yes, I've learned more about Altihexian protected accounts in the past few orbital cycles than I ever needed to know, I think." He twirled his glass again. "I just wish that we could get our hands on the shanix Crossflare took with her. That amount of money could do a lot of good for them mechs in Emerald Lake, and based on the accounting records we seized, the money rightfully belonged to the Praxians living there." He let out a quiet vent, thinking of the reports he'd received of the living conditions the mechs of the principality had been left in after their Lord had left them. They had been destitute before: being forced to work to pay off illusory debts to their Lord, debts that only compounded as time went on and were passed from creator to creations, no matter how much labour was completed. But now, what little shanix circulating in the principality had been spirited away by Crossflare, leaving everyone living there without the financial means to even survive. "Right now the crown is helping to make sure they're getting the fuel they need and the maintenance they lack, and we're trying to stabilize the situation there, but..." Smokescreen fanned his fingers wide as if scattered away chips. "Our resources are already stretched thin. We've been shut off from the rest of Cybertron for so long everyone is reluctant to do business with us still, since we're an unknown quantity." He shook his helm. "I understand their position, but unfortunately it means I'm limited in how I can help Emerald Lake until we get some new trade treaties negotiated."

Devcon's helm had slowly tipped to the side as he listened to Smokescreen, his attention focused on the king closely. "I'm surprised that the crown – the government – is stepping in to help," he said. "In Altihex, the expectation would be for them to find a way to make do, until they can pull themselves up. Giving away shanix like that... Some might say that it just encourages laziness."

"These mechs had nothing. They were starving. They were suffering from engine burnout because they hadn't even had basic maintenance since they were created. They were living two or three dozen to a single dwelling, the adults recharging in alt mode outside to make room for their creations. They were fighting to survive day in and day out, simply because the wages they were paid were not enough to live on. To permit that to continue was unconscionable," Smokescreen said, his words becoming louder and louder as he spoke. When he saw Devcon sit back in his seat, watching him warily, Smokescreen pulled another vent and shrugged, letting his wings bob up and down. "What else would the crown use its money for, if not in the interests of its citizens?" he asked. With a frown, he added, "If I did not use it to help them, then I would just be hoarding cash for no reason than to keep it."

Relaxing infinitesimally, Devcon nodded thoughtfully. "I've never thought about it like that before," he said. A tiny smile flashed across his face. "That's very different from how the governor in Altihex would view the situation, to be sure."

Smokescreen vented again, suddenly realizing how much he'd let himself say. He could almost see Prowl's disapproving frown. Smokescreen always did have a loose vocalizer when he was drinking. It had gotten him into trouble more than once. He gave Devcon a wan smile and tried to shift the subject. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go on and on about that. The internal politics of Praxus probably don't interest you that much."

But Devcon's optics brightened slightly; he seemed to have been lost in thought for a moment. "That's quite all right," he said. "After all, knowledge is part of my trade, and every detail is interesting to me. For example, I had heard that the laws in Praxus changed with your coronation." Devcon gestured towards the doorway where Prowl and Jazz had vanished. "Your own brother is promised to a non-Praxian, and I know your youngest brother is also bonded to a non-Praxian." He smiled at Smokescreen. "You were crowned less than a vorn ago. You work quickly."

"I had... motivation to move quickly," Smokescreen said, remembering the utterly defeated look on his friend's Halfsteel when he talked about the mate the Praxian Temple had chosen for him. "Those laws were some of the first ones I eliminated. Now, a pure-bred Praxian – a noble – can bond with whomever they wish."

Devcon nodded thoughtfully. "Of course. That was part of the information I collected as part of my investigation into my target's whereabouts." Devcon looked at Smokescreen evenly, his blue optics focused on him like a synth hawk. "But – and forgive me again if I am too informal here - it is a surprise that you, the sovereign King of Praxus, is not yet even promised." Devcon lifted a brow ridge. "Unless the customs in Praxus are very different than outside its walls, the first matter of business for a new ruler is to secure their legacy through an heir."

Smokescreen could not suppress the twist in his spark at Devcon's words. His emotions must have been obvious in his expression, because the bounty hunter immediately bowed his helm. "My apologies, your Majesty. I should not have-"

"It's all right," Smokescreen said, waving his hand. When Devcon lifted his helm enough to look at Smokescreen again, Smokescreen managed a facsimile of a smile. "You are exactly right. And you're definitely not the first to have noticed that I am not bonded," he said, thinking of all of the unattached mechs who had been paraded past him in the past few orbital cycles. But he also remembered the golden orb sitting on his desk in his office, and the golden optics of the mech that the orb represented. "Had things played out the way they should have I-" Smokescreen tried to cover the falter in his voice by taking another gulp of his engex. The burn of it steadied him enough to continue. "I did have a promised, before my coronation, but we had only just discussed it. We never had a chance to make it official."

Devcon's blue optics widened, just slightly, and the winglets on his back rose in the same way a Praxian's might when they suddenly understood something. "Your deceased majordomo, I presume," Devcon said.

It was Smokescreen's turn to lift his wings. "Am I so easy to read? Or are there loose lips amongst my household staff?" he asked, knowing the engex was getting to his processor by the bitter tone the words took when they came out of his vocalizer.

"No, your Majesty," Devcon said with a shake of his helm. His voice was gentle. "But it's part of my job to make connections where others might not."

Smokescreen swirled the last bit of engex in his glass, careful not to let any slop over the edge. A voice inside his helm (which sounded very much like his sire, or maybe Prowl) said that he should investigate exactly how Devcon made those connections. But Smokescreen's ambition to do anything had been dulled by the engex, just like it always was four glasses into a bottle.

So instead, Smokescreen vented softly and said, "Halfsteel took the bolt that was meant for my spark. Minutes before that, he had sworn to protect me with his life." Smokescreen tipped his helm back and swallowed the last mouthful of his engex, savouring the burn as it washed down his intake. He coughed a few times before adding, "He was loyal to the very end."

Devcon lowered his helm again. "My deepest condolences on your loss, your Majesty."

"Thank you. And it's Smokescreen, remember?" With an effort, Smokescreen focused his optics on Devcon again and smiled. He gestured with his empty glass at Devcon's. "Would you like some more?"

"No, thank you... Smokescreen," Devcon said, and rose gracefully from his seat. "While I have very much enjoyed your company and your hospitality, just like you pointed out earlier, I have been running almost non-stop for an orbital cycle. I am afraid it's catching up with me now." He bowed deeply, his winglets twitching as he stood up. "Thank you again, your Majesty, and good night."

"Good night," Smokescreen said with a nod from his seat. He knew better than to stand up right now; he might be in danger of toppling over if he tried. He watched as the bounty hunter gracefully swept out of the dining room, and then poured himself another glass of engex. Just one more wouldn't hurt.

Smokescreen sat in the silent dining room, alone, staring at his glass, watching how the flickering lights of the wall sconces reflected off the surface of his drink, and remembering golden optics that once looked into his own with love before they flickered and faded.

#my writing #fanfic #tf smokescreen #tf devcon #serial fiction #alt modes and alchemy au

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rezdogsyonder · 4 years ago

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Changing

Pairing: Peter Parker x Tall!Reader

Summary: Peter has found his soulmate but does she feel the same? Basically a soulmate au but different

Warnings: kidnapping, drugging,

A/N: Peter is aged up. Also I changed his powers just a tiny bit just one thing and the rest is the same.

This peice is unfinished and it will remain unfinished because I’m leaving tumblr and will not be returning. If you wish to continue this you may.

*********

Fuck. Not right now. Not today.

That’s all you can think as you’re nearly late for your first day as an photographer. It isn’t the first place you wanted to work for but you need the money. Well probably not a “real” photographer. You’re not hired for the job on a regular basis, but for their front page photos of Spider-Man. It’s cool, Spider-Man won’t let anybody else take his photos.

Well, it’s not really your first day but it’s the first day that Jameson is actually considering you as his official Spider-Man photographer. Before you usually would email him asking if he needed more photos and now he is finally now telling you that you’re going to be the official photographer for the weekly Spider-Man pieces.

You have started a blog for the hero and hopefully it will gain traction and maybe you’ll get to make an income from it. But for now you have to sell your photos to the Daily Bugle.

The rent is due Friday and you get a check from the gas station you work at that day, it won’t be enough to cover it though. But with a check after each batch of photos you provide will put you way over the green this pay day.

You’re rushing about your medium sized 1 room apartment. This place was a gem, the only reason this place was as cheap as a studio is because a billboard was directly across from the extremely large windows. Lighting up your entire apartment. It didn’t bother you much, it saved on electricity from never having to turn on the lights and all you needed was blackout curtains in your room.

You are not changing shirts but you squeeze into a pair of black pants. The grey boyfriend cardigan getting tucked in the back, but it doesn’t deter you from running to the bathroom and vigorously brushing your teeth. You’ll have to forgo the entire makeup routine but you have time for foundation and mascara.

Rushing back into your bedroom you pull a pair of socks from the top drawer of your dresser and look at your alarm clock. 9:42. 18minutes till you’re late. Well you know in Jameson’s eyes you are already late but he screams at you no matter what.

Your second shoe is tied, you got your purse and it has your wallet, phone, and keys already. You run out of your room and in the hallway of the complex. Fuck, locking these doors seems to be the longest part of leaving. 3 locks, self installed with the extra long screws. Never needed this much security before but some blind asshole next door seems to always be getting into fights. Like what the fuck, how hard is it to not fight someone, and then he leads them here.

Once the doors are locked and you’re out of the building you look at your phone. 9:44. 16 minutes to go around 2 miles. Well broadway cuts across, so probably less, but anyways you gotta run it. Now you’re not the most fit person, but you are able to push yourself more than what others would think you’d be able to.

Dodging people and avoiding running into the road, you make it to the first turn. Basically a straight shot now, but it seems as though people are wanting to be in your way today. You would love a bike right about now. Though you’d have a really high chance of getting hit by a car. But it’s right about the same risk since you are not stopping at the do not walk signs.

One car almost did hit you, but it braked in time but not without you slapping the hood as you went by. Not on purpose but from loss of balance. Well you probably would have slapped it anyways. Your face burns from the run, and the heat, it is the end of summer but it is still pretty hot out.

Oh god, this is awful, you’re just a more than halfway and you nearly ran into an old man and his wife outside of m&m world.

“Sorry!” You shout back but it’s not very loud and sounds winded. You won’t stop though.

Just a couple more turns. Just two more turns. Just one more. You keep telling yourself that you’re almost there, legs straining the muscles from the over exertion.

You get into the building and run to the elevator. You know you probably look unprofessional right about now but you don’t care. You just need to catch your breath.

You press the right floor and dig through your purse. The small mirror being a lifesaver as of recently, since being late is seeming to become a common ovccurance. You pat your forehead with the sleeve of your cardigan. You don’t look too bad, but not the best. You check the time, 9:58. Not bad, you’ll be just 1 minute early. The elevator ride giving you just enough time to breath properly.

The elevator doors open to the busy floor, and you go over to Jameson’s assistant, not even reaching her desk before she points her pen behind her to his office.

“L/N!” He immediately shouts, “Where are those photos?” He is still looking out the window behind his desk.

“Right here sir,” you pull the envelope out of your purse holding it out for him to take it. Which he does, ripping the lip of the envelope and begins examining your photos.”

“850. Tell Betty on your way out.” He plops you’re photos on his desk.

“850? That’s not my rate, there are 12 photos there.”

“These just aren’t worth your usual rate. 850.” He argues back, you’ve seen this before, had you been any smaller or even sitting he would have put his hands on his desk and leaned towards you to seem intimidating, but right now he looks like a child with his hands balled at his side.

“65 per photo or I go to The Post.” You won’t back down. That’s nearly a thousand, and you don’t want to let it go, even if it is less than 200 more than what he offered but you need it.

He stares at you, he’s turning red now in the ears. You collect your photos calling his bluff.

“Fine,” he grumbles, he presses a button on the small speaker on his desk, “Betty, write out a check for L/N for 975.” He released the button and you put the photos down. “Get out of here, she’ll call when we have another piece.”

“You’re a peach,” you smiled as you back out of his office. “Hey Betty, how’re you doing this week?”

“Just fine, but his wife wants me to control his anger as soon as his meds are sorted. Not looking forward to that.” She finishes filling out the check on her computor, and with one last click that is so familiar to you now, you know she printed it.

“Jesus, I do not want to be here for that.” You step back four steps to the printer and rip off the receipt at the bottom that she needs to keep and hand it to her. “Good luck, because you will need it. Thanks, see you next week!” You wave bye as the doors close.

Letting out a sigh of relief, and tucking your check into your wallet. You’re glad you won’t have to worry anymore. With this check you’ll have four or five hundred more than you’ll need for rent, meaning you won’t have to scrape by for grocerys.

You better hurry though, you have an hour till your next shift at the gas station and you still need a shower.

**********

The hours are going by slowly, with few customers to keep you distracted. Just 4 more hours and you get to call it a night. It has already been 6 hours since you clocked in and there had only been a handful of customers, making the day uncharacteristically slow.

Your phone begins vibrating on the small fridge below the counter, the shift managers name on the display screen. Seeing as there’s no customers you think it is fine to answer.

“Hello? Debby?” You greet subconciously.

“Y/N I have some bad news.” She pauses, “the person who is supposed to relieve you is refusing to come in. She quit.”

“What am I supposed to do? I’ve been here since 11:30, I don’t think it’s allowed for me to work past 1. Wasn’t her shift supposed to last till 8?”

“Yes I know but you are legally allowed to work till 4:30, and that is when I’ll take over because I cannot find another person to cover her shift. It’s only alright because I’m switching your shift tomorrow with Alex and you’ll have the day off to recuperate. Then it’s your usual day off the next so I think that’s enough time to get back to normal.”

“So I’m leaving at 4:30?” Disbelief evident in your voice.

“Yes, I’m sorry, I would get there now but John doesn’t come home until late tonight because he took the graveyard shift at his job and I can’t leave J.C. alone.”

“Yeah I understand, family comes first.”

“Thank you, you’re the best. See ya later.”

“Yeah, see you.”

You put down your phone and mentally prepare yourself for another 11 hours.

**********

Three red bulls, and a seasonal pumpkin spice coffee from the dispenser and it was almost midnight.

Many more customers has came in after the call, the universe seemingly wanting to tire you out further. Then it began slowing down again after 9. The time you were supposed to be going home if Patricia didn’t fucking refuse to come in.

It was about that time that a young man came in, wearing a dark suit but without the blazer. Sleeves rolled up to his elbows. Light brown hair and pale skin, he looked breathtaking. He quickly rounds to the back grabbing three of the big bottles of water.

“Just these for me...” he trails off as he sniffs, then he looks up and makes eye contact with you.

You two are staring at each other for a few seconds, his stare becoming unbearable and you look away.

“Ok sir... that’ll be 5.97.” You still feel his gaze. Refusing to look up, you bag his things. You hear his card slide through the machine.

“Thank you sir, have a nice night.”

“Yeah... you too.” And with that he was gone. Leaving you to think about this stranger for the rest of your shift.

**********

As promised, Debbie came at 4:30. You left to walk home. It was nice living basically across the street from your work. A short walk, but you still felt a sense of unease.

Looking all around you, you don’t spot any suspicious people. Not even one heading in the same direction as you. You let out a small sigh as you cross the road. But it does nothing to calm your nerves.

You’re trying not to seem panicked as you try to get through the door to your building but it might be obvious with how you’re shaking.

Past the door you let go if your breath that you didn’t know you were holding. Finally able to calm down. You walked to apartment, using the elevator instead of the stairs.

Once at your door your heart beat seems to have gone back to normal, but before you even put your key in the door you feel the hairs at the back of your neck stand up. You don’t know what it is, maybe it’s just a chill.

Unlocking all the locks you go inside, greeted by the bright pink fluorescent lights. You shut the door behind you and drop your bag on the floor. Too tired to care. Moving to go into your room, knowing that you’re not going to change into pajamas either.

Well probably take of the pants. Yeah, jeans are never comfy.

Shoes kicked off, pants off, bra off with some difficulty from your long sleeves, blankets pulled back and you’re ready for bed. You’re getting in when you hear a creek in the living room, but you don’t see anyone so it’s maybe the upstairs neighbours.

You turn around once more to lay down and you feel a pinprick at your neck. You slump over and you feel hands at your shoulders, picking you up in their arms.

Eyes won’t open, and you are quickly losing consciousness.

“Shh, you’re safe with me.”

*********

Your head is pounding, that’s what wakes you up. You still feel groggy and it makes your eyelids feel incredibly heavy. You want to sleep for more but your eyes keep fighting to open.

Once they do you are met with a room that is not your own. Everything is white, except the headboard which is a light grey, matching the bedside table. You look around, about 6 feet from the foot of the bad is a back door and there’s a bathroom to the left of the bed with the door wide open.

You run to the closed door, you grasp the handle but you get a head rush and are unable to turn the handle for a good 5 seconds. It’s no use though, the door was locked, and it doesn’t seem like a regular lock. It seems more advanced, it’s a regular handle but it’s warm, and doesn’t have any keyhole. It’s also not as big as a hotel handle, like the ones with the scanners. Irrelevant, but your mind is running a million miles an hour and you’re trying really hard to not panic.

You realize that you aren’t wearing your pants but a pair of sweats were at the edge of the king bed. You quickly pull them on. Your kidnapper has already seen your ass, but it’s a little bit comforting. Your bladder is full and it is more apparent now than a couple minutes ago.

They aren’t here yet, better be quick. You half jog into the bathroom it has a large sink and a nice looking shower, but you don’t want to use it due to there being no lock on the bathroom door and the shower door is glass. Not even one of those blurred glass doors, it is crystal clear.

You had already peed and we’re washing your hands when you hear a small beep and the locks opening. You’re drying your hands when you hear a knock at the door. You don’t answer.

Another knock, you stared at the door, a low sigh is heard and the door swings open.

It was the man from last night, except now he was covering his eyes with his hand.

“I swear I’m not looking but please come out right now.”

“... alright.” You’re voice is a little rough and just above a whisper.

“Thank you.” He turned around leaving the door open and you follow.

“Come with me.” he waves his hand over the lock and the beep is heard again.

He leads you through the door into a long hallway, when he turned to the left so did you. There’s no point in running when he would catch you in less than 2 seconds.

You pass by 4 doors, one on your left and three on your right. The fifth door on the right you entered and it was an office.

“Sit.” And you did, he sat behind the large desk and leaned forward with his elbows on it. “I need to tell you something that would be hard to hear. Hell, hard to believe, but just know that everything I’m telling you is true.”

You nodded when he paused and looked at you. You felt so out of place and uncomfortable. Heart beating so fast and hard, it feels as though it’s bursting out of your chest. Your hands slightly shaking and feet tapping where you sat on the edge of this obviously expensive chair.

“I’m going to be frank with you alright? You are my soulmate.”

You freeze, “wait... what?” You didnt believe it, he was right. He’s crazy. Soulmates were a rare thing in this world. How would he know? He only knew you for 5 seconds so why does he know? Why would he take you?

“We are soulmates. I felt it when I first met eyes with you, I know that you did too. I took you here because, to put it simply, you would be safe. There are many people after me and if they learned of your existsence they would find you and use you against me.”

“H-how do I know your not lying?” You stare at the lines in the wood of his desk, refusing to look up. When you look him in the eyes you feel the same pull that you did back at the gas station. You hear rustling and you glance up for just a second, then you look back when you realize it’s just his arm that he wants you to look at.

He begins rolling his sleeves like the way you saw last night. Or was it even still the next day? You don’t know. Not seeing any clock or any windows since you were at your home.

Beautiful lines are spread across his forearm and you realize it wasn’t there before. “Can you look at your arm?” His voice is gentle, like he’s trying to be comforting.

You stare at his arm as you pull your sleeve up, then you look down at a blank arm. You pull up your other sleeve just as roughly and see the same tattoo that he has. You touch it gently as though it’ll smear if you are as rough as you were two seconds ago.

“Mine showed up a little after I stepped out of that store. I guess you didn’t notice yours.” You rub at yours and it won’t come off, and the skin isn’t raised as though you have a regular tattoo.

“What does this mean?”

“This means that you are now mine.” You feel tears welling in your eyes.

“So I can’t go home?”

“No, and some things are going to change.” You look at him wide eyed, fearful for the changes that he has in mind.

“So I’m sure you have heard of the powered people of New York, and I am telling you that I am one of them. Not only that, but I am a member of the avengers.” He pauses, you feel his eyes on you and you can only assume he is trying to gauge your reaction. “But I didn’t achieve my abilities through government testing or anything of the sort. I was bit by a mutant spider and I gained the spiders abilities.”

“You’re... Spider-Man?”

“That’s right. Now that you’re here, I will have to give you the same abilities I have so that we will be on equal grounds.”

“How are you going to do that?” You look up at his face.

“I will bite you of course.”

#avengers #marvel #avengers fic #marvel fic #peter #peter parker #spiderman #soulmates #soulmate au #dark!peter #dark!peter parker #dark!peter x reader #dark fic #dark fandom #dark fanfiction

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domesticbucky · 3 years ago

Text

Summer rain in Brooklyn

Pairings: Bucky x Female Reader (Y/N)

Words: 3.6 k

Warnings! 18+ : Smut (soft smut, face sitting, praise kink, kinda sub!Bucky, handjobs, blowjobs), a hint of angst, 1940s Bucky in love 🤧

Summary: Bucky and Y/N get caught in the summer rain on their way home from work.

AU where Bucky survived the train, and went on to live in Brooklyn and work at the docks.

Notes: Hi! This is the first fic that I post online and it is entirely self-indulgent (and also my first smut!). English is not my first language, so please excuse any mistakes. Please give me back some form of feedback if you feel like it! Or don’t, I’ll be around anyways (hopefully). If you are not 18+, go away now!!! Go have a juicebox, idk.

Enjoy!🥰

✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪✪☻

June 1946

The smell of rain makes Bucky pick up his pace as he walks through the familiar streets of Brooklyn. It had been an exhausting day at the docks, carrying crates and moving boxes until his shoulder ached and his soul longed to come home. Breathing out the last sea and motor-oil scented air, he turned to 7th Avenue and smiled to himself; a few more blocks and he’d finally get to see her.

Y/N had taken a part-time job at a bakery in South Slope for the summer. It had been almost a year since the war had ended but the owner’s son still hadn’t returned. Bucky admired her for her diligence and compassion, the way she never hesitated to help others, simply because she believed it was the right thing to do. Her salary was meager at best, but the old baker would always give her whatever loaves and pastries didn’t sell that day to take home with her, and she liked listening to his stories from when he first came to New York, so many decades ago. Bucky liked to think of him as a father-figure of sorts, a man that gave away his little pieces of wisdom, acquired over the years, the same way he gave away misshapen loafs of bread to soldiers too beaten up by the world to make their own.

A draft of cold air goes through his sleeve and reminds him of how beaten up he is. Carved on his left shoulder is the physical reminder of what would have surely been a deadly drop into an icy ravine in Italy, had Steve not managed to grab his arm and pull him back into the train. His left shoulder had become one with the wrecked metal casing of the train for a few moments, but he was grateful and almost happy that he had lived to tell the tale, even if it meant that he would carry those metal fragments in him forever. The slight ringing in his ears, the underlying feeling of his body feeling unusually stronger, and the nightmares were a different story, though. He would have gladly left those things back in that war-ridden continent, instead of bringing them to his home, with the rusty fire-escapes and familiar faces and the smell of freshly-baked bread…

He is just outside the low bakery door when he sees her grabbing her bag and giving the old baker a kiss on his wrinkly forehead. He briefly wonders if she will one day get to kiss him as an old man, if whatever experiments that Swiss bastard run on him will ever let him grow old and wrinkly, but his mind never finishes that thought because she is suddenly throwing herself in his arms.

”Hey Sarge, missed you”. Bucky shivers, not from the cold breeze that promises gentle summer rain, but from the feeling of her in his arms, after being apart for the day. Y/N’s hair smells of fresh bread and sugar, and for the few seconds their embrace lasts, Bucky feels like he’s home already. They pull apart to gaze into each other’s eyes lovingly. Home, he thinks again, before tugging her close again and whispering his affections into her ear. It’s Y/N’s time to shiver, and Bucky, delighted in her reaction, gives a smile and a wave to the old baker, and tugs Y/N towards the direction of their small apartment.

”C’mon Sweets, we gotta hurry or else we’ll be soaked faster than Stevie finds trouble”, he says decisively, the countless times he’s saved his little (now enormous) friend flashing through his mind as Y/N giggles. She intertwines their fingers as they walk, her palm soft in the way hands get after kneading dough and mixing sugar with spices all day, his hand ragged but invitingly warm. She lifts their intertwined hands to place a loving kiss on his worn knuckles, bruised from the day’s work, and a wave of emotions hit him in the chest. He is now even more eager to reach their little home, where the cheap curtains shield them from nosy old ladies, where the pillow cases have their initials embroidered on the side, where he can love her all he wants and the way he wants, without shame or pretended innocence. Because at this moment, he is hungry for more than fresh bread.

The first drop catches him off-guard, thoughts of how he will love her once their rickety old door closes making him tune out everything that isn’t Y/N. The second and third come in quick succession, and Y/N notices too, pausing from telling him about the little joys of her day to let her eyes follow the path of a droplet as it travels from his high cheek bone to his strong jaw, then dipping low to continue on his pretty neck, and finally disappear on the hem of his worn shirt. There’s hunger in her eyes, but it quickly turns into surprise, as the next few drops bring a myriad more, until the droplets of water running down both of them become one with their skin and clothes.

”Dammit, I thought we were gonna make it home before it started”, Bucky says in mild annoyance, as Y/N lets out a giggle.

”Laugh it up doll, but I think we are gonna be soaked before even making it past the next corner. And then you might catch a cold, and I hate seeing you sick”.

Y/N pulls them in a back alley, underneath what looks like a homemade roof extension to the balcony above them, and pulls Bucky for a hungry kiss.

”But you’ll take care of me, right baby? Give me those special kisses and love me ‘till I get better, right Barnes?”

Her voice is low and dangerous, but there’s vulnerability in it too, and Bucky can’t help biting his lip to stifle a groan.

”I’ll do anything for ya, dahlin’, feed you, bathe you, carry you and kiss you until you feel good as new, better than ever before, and then I’ll kiss ya some more ”.

It’s Bucky’s turn to lean in for a kiss, and he tastes soft summer rain and longing for more on her lips, so he gently licks along her plump flesh, silently asking for more. Y/N gladly accepts his warm tongue, gliding hers along his and softly sucking the wet muscle until Bucky lets out a sound from somewhere deep in his chest, and his hips move forward to find her figure.

He pulls away to stare into her eyes, pupils blown wide, and the rain doesn’t matter anymore.

”Honey, doll, sweetheart, let me take ya home”.

He is panting like crazy, his voice desperate as Y/N places her hand on his jaw, squeezing his chin and dropping her gaze to his lips every few seconds.

”You’re gonna be a good boy for me, kid?” she responds, her hand on his chin gripping him steadily, as her other hand moves upward to brush back a few strands of wet hair sticking to his forehead.

He manages to utter ”yes, my love” through parted, kissed-out lips, and she drops the hand previously clutching his chin to pet his sternum.

”Then take us home, Barnes”.

Bucky lifts her on previously weak knees and throws her over his right shoulder, a day’s worth of strain doing nothing to spoil the moment, as he takes off in the rain to their direction of their tiny home, with her laugh echoing off the brick buildings of Brooklyn.

----

By the time he reaches their building he is laughing too, caught up in the euphoria of sharing such a special moment with her, free of worries and anxieties, free to be playful in the gentle summer rain.

He drops her on her feet, his hand rummaging through his worn-out trousers, looking for the key. Y/N’s eyes gaze at him appreciatively, from his long legs to his broad back, his plush lips and the gentle turn of his nose, down again to his pretty neck, the curve of his waist, his thick thighs and, finally, the strain of his arousal against the fly of his work pants, the outline of it visible as Bucky searches deep in his pockets. His hand emerges with the rusty old key and he lifts his gaze from their frayed doormat to focus on the next task at hand, getting them inside as fast as possible.

Y/N pulls him from the collar of his shirt as soon as the door is locked, and drags him to their bed, repaired over the decades to provide comfort to the newest generation of Barnes’, dressed in sheets his ma’ gave him a few days after he returned from the war, embroidered by Y/N to ”make this place feel like home”.

The moment his back hits the familiar sheets, his day of labour comes crashing on him, Y/N’s warm and wet figure providing comfort and security but not quite healing his tired body. Running through the dear-old streets of Brooklyn with her in his arms had been fun, but he is afraid that standing up again is an impossibility with every press of Y/N’s lips on his collarbone.

Y/N notices his tired demeanor and the way he doesn’t respond as enthusiastically to her ministrations as she’s used to. A look to his face and the dark circles framing his still hungry eyes tells her exactly what Bucky needs tonight.

Bucky still makes an effort to sit up and meet her lips, but her hand is quick to press against his chest, his shirt wet, still, with gentle summer rain, and stops him.

”Sit back baby, let me take care of you”.

Bucky plops back down on the bed and the old thing moans with the added strain of his weight. There’s appreciation in his eyes, and they have gone glossy with all the love and adoration he feels for her. She smooths her fingers over his dark circles, before her fingers slowly card through his messy wet hair. He visibly sudders and closes his eyes, content to have her touch him, even if he craves so much more.

Slowly, Y/N sits back on his lap and starts undoing the buttons of her dress. Bucky runs his hands over the sides of her thighs, feeling the goosebumps that rise on the wake of his touch. The summer heat combined with the shortage of nylon due to the newly-over war had left even some of the most conservative ladies in the streets of Brooklyn no choice but to forego stockings, and Bucky couldn’t help but appreciate the feel of Y/N’s skin underneath his fingertips.

Y/N tugs her dress over her head, and Bucky wastes no time to move his hands higher and squeeze her hips, as he takes in her figure, glistening with the remnants of the rain that soaked through her clothes. Her undergarments are worn and plain, but Bucky thinks that she looks like a dream, the weight of her resting on his hips, her most private parts wrapped in silk.

Y/N shifts to hold on Bucky’s forearms as they explore her, while she gazes down at him from her spot on his lap. Soft wisps of light brown hair peek from the unbuttoned collar of his work shirt, and the droplets of water that hadn’t been lapped up by her mouth make his neck and collarbone glisten. She moves her gaze to his mouth, so full and plump and rosy, and as he squeezes her hips again and subtly grinds his hips up on hers, and she is overwhelmed with the need to touch him. She grabs his chin, resting her thumb on the valley between the soft muscles and rubs it between her fingertips.

”How tired are you, baby? Ok with you if I ride that pretty mouth of yours?”.

Bucky’s lips part a little more, as he lets out a responding gasp at her foul words, not quite used to the things she says in moments like this, but loving it all the same. If he was honest with himself, he loved her filthy words almost as much as he loved her praises.

”Please” he manages to blurt out desperately, the sight of his upper lip, curving as he utters his plea, making her throb in her undergarments.

Y/N shifts until her knees rest on either side of Bucky’s head, his cold, wet hair contrasted by the way his eyes stay obediently fixed on hers, and the feel of his warm breath as it hits her core with every heavy exhale.

She examines the way the late afternoon light coming from their small bedroom window catches on his glistening lips and pretty eyelashes, before she tangles her hand through his messy hair and gives him a nod of approval.

Bucky follows her silent request, and places soft kisses on her covered mound as she lowers herself on his chin. His tongue darts out to taste her through her silk underwear, and soon his kisses turn sloppy. His teeth snag on the garment, wet with rain and her arousal, and he keeps it in place as she lifts her hips upwards in order to remove it. Once she’s out of it, she takes it from Bucky’s mouth and gives him a loud and sloppy kiss on his lips, before she resumes her previous position.

”Such a good boy for me”. Her hands run through his jaw one more time before she lowers herself on his mouth again, and Bucky groans as his cock throbs in his trousers at the first real taste of her. He’s spent many times between her legs like this over the past few months that they’ve been together, but there’s always something so thrilling to him about the way she reacts to his ministrations. He loves to please her, and takes pleasure in seeing her feel good. He loves the way she tastes, the way she moves and the sounds she makes, and he loves being good for her.

Y/N tugs at his hair harder, as his mouth grows bolder. His open-mouth kisses against her core have turned into full on french kissing, and she is left breathless as she recalls all the times he has kissed her mouth that way. He proceeds to suck her clit every once in a while, but focuses his efforts into getting his tongue lower, where her taste is stronger and her moans come out lower. He is now painfully hard in his confines, and there’s an embarrassing amount of precome on his underwear.

His nose bumps against her clit with every movement of her hips. Her climax fast approaching, Y/N grinds on Bucky’s mouth harder than before, as he lays obediently on their embroidered pillows, groaning and moaning, and takes it. His enthusiastic actions have ceased, as he opts to keep his mouth and tongue in the best position for her to get herself off. With a final tug at his locks, Y/N grinds down hard on his mouth, and Bucky feels her gush her warm release on his tongue. He laps at her gently, as she comes down from her high, holding her steady as she pants above him.

He places a final kiss on her mound as she pulls herself off him, and plops down on the bed next to him, spent and satisfied. She takes another minute to catch her breath, turning her head to look at the way his chin glistens as he licks his lips.

Y/N glances at his crotch, the bulge there prominent as ever, and feels a new wave of arousal at her lower stomach at the sight. She turns to her side and straddles him once more.

Bucky lets out a grasp as she presses down on his hips again, his cock finally receiving some sort of friction after a long time, and his hands fly to her bare hips again. Y/N is busy unbuttoning his shirt, the clarity provided after receiving a release allowing her to work on the buttons much faster than he would. He shivers as the shirt is removed from his torso, the late afternoon breeze, cooled by the ongoing rain, caressing his flushed skin. Y/N’s hands are appreciatively gliding up and down his chest, making him release high-pitched whines when she passes over his nipples, hard from arousal and the cold air of the room.

”So pretty...” Y/N mumbles before she leans down to capture his right peak into her warm mouth. Bucky’s responding moans grow louder as she moves to suck and gently bite the other nipple. He whines when she lifts her face from his chest, and Y/N places a finger on his pouting lips.

”Hush, kid, let me do this for ya”, she says while gazing at his pleading eyes. Y/N knows that Bucky must have reached his limit by now, so she deftly unbuttons his pants and reaches her hand inside his boxers, finding him hot, heavy and slick.

Bucky groans loudly at the feel of her hand on him, and throws his head back as she lazily strokes him a few times.

”So hard for me” she says appreciatively, her grip a little firmer.

”It’s all for ya, dahlin’, baby-” he gasps back, the ending of the word baby choked off as she squeezes his base, and Bucky almost panics, as he feels his climax just around the corner already.

”Sweetheart, my honey, love of my life, dearest girl, please-”. Bucky is incoherent at best, but Y/N is swift to hush him once again. She takes him out of his boxers completely, and expertly twists her wrist as Bucky’s slurry words escape his parted lips, deep red and chewed raw.

”It’s ok, baby, you can let go”. She picks up her pace, her other hand leaving it’s place on his abdomen to cup his balls and tug them in time with her twists.

Bucky’s hands desperately clutch the sheets, his groans and the slick sounds of Y/N’s hands on him drowning out the sound of the rain against the half-open window. The way he’s twitching on her hand tells Y/N that he is close, so she lets the hand working on his cock move to clasp one of his hands as her mouth takes over, the hand on his balls squeezing encouragingly.

Bucky gasps as his hips move from the bed to buck in her mouth, one hand grasping the sheets and the other holding on Y/N’s for dear life. She feels his balls tighten and his cock throb violently before his release floods her mouth in spurts. She savours the taste of his release on her tongue, sucking him dry gently before moving her mouth to leave kisses all over his spent member. She gently laps at his balls and leaves a few kisses on his thighs before moving higher up, to press her lips against his left shoulder, lovingly, conveying all the sweet emotions she feels for him. She finally lifts her mouth from the scars littering his left arm to press one final soft kiss over his heart, feeling the muscle beating wildly inside his chest.

”You were so good for me, baby” she whispers in his left ear, and feels him shiver as she presses a soft kiss there as well. She leans back to look at him, finding his flushed face, his cheekbones glowing from sweat, and finally his eyes, glossed over from both the events that took place moments ago, and his love for her. Lips parted, still fighting to find his breathing, expression relaxed but unreadable.

”You okay, kid ?” she asks, concern joining on the affection evident on her own features at his lack of answer.

”You make me feel like the luckiest damn fool on this planet, sweetheart. I love you so much.” he manages, his eyes holding her gaze as she breathes out a chuckle of relief.

”Wait ‘till I make you my famous cornmeal pancakes, you can shower me with compliments then!” she says through giggles. They are both too giddy to stay serious for long, but Y/N gives Bucky a smooch on the lips before taking his chin on her hand.

”And I love you, James Barnes.” she says, kissing the tip of his nose as he smiles, and climbs out of their bed to find one of Bucky’s shirts.

----

There are syrupy giggles and the smell of pancakes in the air of their cramped apartment half an hour later. Bucky is wearing his most comfortable pair of pants, one suspender on his right shoulder while the other sits bare in the remnants of the early evening light filtering through the living area balcony door. Loose, striped socks on his feet and a smear of syrup on his chin the only other things on his body, and Y/N thinks it just might be one of his best looks. His hair had been washed and combed hastily while Y/N was making the pancakes, and finds her fingers itching to mess it up again.

Bucky catches her staring, and gives her a shy smile, her intense gaze framed by the glow of the oil lamp on their coffee table. He is sometimes self-conscious of his scarred shoulder, his changed body, himself, but Y/N keeps looking at him like he is the sun itself. He disagrees of course, but he wants to do everything in his power to make himself worthy of her love. He knows, more than anyone, that life and love are precious things that can be taken from you in the blink of an eye. He knows that he will always doubt himself, but he wants to live, and love, with you.

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I don't own any of the characters in this fic!

Let me know what you think and don't hesitate to message me!

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes #bucky smut #1940s!bucky #domesticbucky #bucky x reader smut #marvel #james bucky barnes #rain #summer #comfort fic #bucky x female reader #domesticbucky writes

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manireads · 4 years ago

Text

freelancer, changkyun x reader 1-4

word count : 9.1 k

changkyun x reader

hacker au/mafia au (eventually)

an: it’s been a minute but i rewrote the parts of freelancer i didn’t like and added on the fourth part. you can think of this a prologue for the new direction i want to take this series. i’ll be posting more about that later. but for now i hope you enjoy.

also i would love some feedback as well.

~*~

If I take a double shift tomorrow and then we wish on a star, all our dreams come true, and he actually gets a paid project, we might be able to pay our bills without having to sell my left kidney.’ She watched the ramen in the pot cook. Her mind wandered off to other things and soon she began to absentmindedly stir the noodles. Y/N was startled out of her thoughts, as she heard the sound of the front door to her studio apartment slam shut followed by the voice of her boyfriend, Changkyun.

“Hey,” Before she knew it he was behind her, his chin resting on her shoulder, his arms wrapped around her waist. “How was your day? Anything happen at the restaurant?” She felt safe with him around and being close with him after a stressful day made her worries fade away, temporarily.

“It was alright. I did trip and dropped a bunch of plates in the kitchen so that was fun” She said slightly joking, but the slight throbbing in her back reminded her that as funny as it was, it hurt more than she laughed.

“I keep telling out that you have to get rid of those old sneakers. The bottoms are so flat, there’s no grip on them.” He chuckled, his laugh deep and hearty. He nuzzled his face into the side of her neck, his breath tickling her skin.

“I can’t do that. Converse looks better the more you wear them and the more worn they get.”

“You’ve had those since high school.”

“Exactly, you can’t get all those years of dirt and grime back.”

“That’s gross.” He said moving away from her, making his way to the small sofa on the other side of the room. He plopped down on it, sighing loudly. He was relieved to finally be home. The days that he had to spend that outside the comfort of his own couch, were undeniably the worst. But you have to make money to live, right?

“I would get a new pair but we just can’t afford to spend money on new sneakers like that right now.” Y/N finished the ramen bringing the pot over to the couch, along with two cans of sodas that she had picked up earlier. She tossed one to to him before placing the pot on the coffee table in front of the sofa and taking a seat next to him.

“Speaking of money,” Changkyun groaned, knowing exactly where the conversation was going. He really didn’t want to get into an argument today. Quickly, he leaned forward stuffing his face with ramen trying to avoid conversation all together. “Oh, come on Changkyun,” he looked at her mouth full and cheeks puffed out, looking at her with feigned innocence. “We have to talk about this.”

He chewed his food and swallowed before looking at her, “Yeah but not tonight, alright?” He said before giving her a kiss right on her closed lips, a smile spread across his face as she agreed in a less enthusiastic way. The both leaned back into the couch, slowly sinking into it. His thoughts became consumed with the show that was playing on the laptop that sat on a stool right across the coffee table. Y/N unfortunately couldn’t get into the t.v. show. She was too busy thinking about everything Changkyun wasn’t.

When Y/N looks back on their relationship, she never thought that this is where they would be. She honestly thought that they would have broken up at the end of high school. She didn’t think that they were going to last as long as they did when he asked her out at the beginning of their first year. But time after time, Changkyun stuck with her and in turn she became attached as well. But when third year started to come to a close, she knew that it was coming to an end. Changkyun had started to talk about moving away from their home town and all the plans that he had had for his future. The more he talked about it, the more she realized that she wasn’t included and at first it didn’t bother her, but as it started to sink in she realized that she really loved him and was too attached to say goodbye so soon.

She would remain silent about it in front of him. But when he wasn’t around, she started to look up all the places mentioned. She even started to plan out what compromises for the two of them. One where she could go to her dream school and not be too far away from him was impossible, so that was out. A long distance relationship was out of the question, she barely could text him regularly and they were with each other everyday. The only option was to move out of their hometown together. But she didn’t want to intrude on his plans, so she had to talk to him. It was probably the most awkward conversation they have ever had but it was the most important.

At the end of it all, Y/N found that he always wanted her to be by his side but he was afraid she wouldn’t want to because she seemed destined to do bigger and better. Y/N had scholarships to some of the best colleges in the country lined up and waiting for her. Her passion being the arts, she could have studied anywhere she wanted and had a foot up in that difficult industry. Your future was waiting for you and he knew that he couldn’t keep up. So he never mentioned how he wanted to be with you after graduation. He was afraid that he wouldn’t be enough for you, and sometimes he still feels this way when he can’t give you everything you need and want. So in true Changkyun fashion, instead of talking about it he’d rather ignore the feelings in his heart and the thoughts racing in his mind. He acted like everything was okay, for her.

After hours of binge watching some show, the both of them were too brain fired to take in another second. Y/N went to clean up their dinner and Changkyun closed down the laptop and packed it away with his other equipment. Changkyun seemed smart enough that Y/n thought now would be a good idea to talk to him now. She’d known him for years now and knows that to get him to listen would be during his sleepiest moments. She couldn’t outsmart him when he was wide awake but when he was on his way to la la land was her time to strike. He’d talk to her and promise her things during their pillow talk and in the morning she’d hold him to it. She wished that she wouldn’t have to use such secret tactics to get to him but it was really her only way.

“Babe,” She started noticing his sleepy walk as he carried himself to the bathroom and she followed. “The month is almost up and I don’t think we are going to make it.”

“We’ll make it, love. Don’t worry.” His muffled voice came out as he started to brush his teeth. You followed him and started as well not dropping the subject. Through muffled voices she let him know that her paycheck wouldn’t be enough. He finished first and washed his face before heading to the bed.

“Okay, I get it. And I am trying to do a little more. You know I’m just a free-”

“A freelancer, yes I know. But the stipend that that company gives you is not enough. They rarely give you any jobs since the first couple of months there. If you're a freelancer, you should be able to work for anyone who pays.” You said coming out of the bathroom to sit across from him on the couch. Sinking into the cushions you watched him as he sat with his back against the wall and his phone in his hand as he typed away.

“Yeah, but I signed an exclusive contract with them for the rest of the year and if I were to pull out then there goes my only source of reliable income. I want to leave honestly but It would be even worse for us because I’d have nothing to give.” He sighed, closing his phone and tossing it to the side. He looked at Y/N with tired eyes. She knew how hard he worked and she hated having this conversation more than anyone else. She never wanted to pressure him but she had to stay headstrong.

“Okay, what about that other thing you were talking about maybe a couple a months ago. Your friend DK was working on it right? What ever happened to that?”

“It didn't really pan out. They didn’t need me and it was just a start up so I don’t think I would have been getting paid much either way.” You both stared at each other. He could see the frustration in her eyes. “But,” He offered carefully. “I do have something coming my way. It's just going to take time before I can actually get paid for it.”

“Changkyun, how many times are you going to tell her that before you actually do get paid.”

“Hopefully not again. I’m already breaking my company contract so I’m risking a lot already. I know it’s been tough but this time it will be good. They are really serious about the work they want done and I can do it. We just have to wait until I actually finish the job.”

“So what do we do now, Changkyun? We need money and we need it fast. I doubt that Ms. Choi is going to let us pay the rent in a couple weeks late again. She’ll kick us out, then what will we do, huh?” She could feel her voice cracking and her eyes watering. She hated this feeling more than anything. It was like she was stuck between wanting to protect him and his fantasy that somehow they’d be okay and the harsh reality that they were screwed. He looked at her knowing that she could burst out in tears at any moment. He scooted up to the edge of the bed holding his arms out.

“Come here. You know I hate to see you cry.” She got up and walked over to him becoming entrapped as he wrapped his arms around her hips. Pressing his head into her stomach, they stayed like this for a long moment. “I’m going to make this right to you, I promise.” At his promise he looked up at her. “Someday, you’ll never have to cry over money again. We’ll be so rich that our kids will have those cute little motor cars and they’ll drive them around our huge backyard of our mansion. When they get speed, we’ll have a hired policeman give them little tickets that they could pay.” He smiled as he saw the edges of the mouth curl up into a little smile. “That’s how rich we’ll be. I swear. I just need a little more time”

“Our kids?” Y/N asked with a slight chuckle. She wanted to continue to argue but she couldn't find the strength when he looked at her like that.

“Yeah, I mean if you want kids. I would love to have a little baby that looks like you but I could teach to code like me .”

“Hey, I can code some things! My old tumblr, I did that all by myself.” She giggled hitting him on his shoulder.

“Okay but when I try and show you other things, you can never get it.” The two of them moved further into the bed, lying down as the exhaustion of the day caught up with them.

“Yeah, past tumblr it gets too hard, so I give up.” She smiled and moved his hair out of his face. “I love you, you know that, right?”

“You wouldn’t be dealing with me if you didn’t.”

“You got that right.” They both chuckled.

“I love you too.” He replied as he both of them got comfy under the covers and swiftly fell asleep. It was late into the night when the bed started to vibrate. It woke Y/N slightly but as she opened her eyes slightly, she noticed it was still dark outside. Changkyun on the other hand was wide awake from the vibrations. Quickly, he found his phone that was responsible for waking them. Y/N couldn’t see who had called him, opting to try and fall back asleep. Changkyun, however, picked up as soon as he realized who called. In a hushed voice he talked to the other person, from time to time he would look over to Y/N, hoping he hadn’t been too loud and woke her up. Changkyun and the person on the phone agreed on something and He asked for the address to be texted to him and with that, the phone call ended. Changkyun laid there for only a second debating whether or not to let her know that he was heading out. He decided against it and tried to get out of the bed as silently as possible. He quietly moved around the room packing up his laptop and some other equipment into his backpack. Shuffling into his sneakers, he looked at you sound asleep. He knew he had to do this for her. For them. He exited the apartment making his way out into the night, not knowing that when closed to the door Y/N rolled over in the bed to stare at the door.

“Where in the hell can he be going at 3am in the morning?”

~*~

The rest of the week had gone on like this. Changkyun would wake up at mysterious times to a phone, have a brief conversation and then slip into the night with his work bag slung across his back. Y/N tried not to let it bother her too much but how could she ignore it when they shared a bed together and Changkyun wasn’t the smoothest getting out of it. For the first couple of days, she’d wake up to the feeling of the phone vibrating, keeping her eyes closed to pretend she was sleeping. She’d try and listen in on the hushed conversations had but nothing really came from it. She did get caught once, it was Thursday morning and she was moving a bit too much for Changkyun to not notice.

“Hold on,” he said into the phone. She immediately became rigid in the bed, hoping that I could play it off as if I had just woke up. He leaned forward hovering over her. His shallow breath fanning over her face as he looked for any signs to tell that she was awake. And although her body was still, her closed eyes still moved around. A slight worry entered his brain, had she heard him? “Baby, did I wake you up?”

Her first instinct was to smile and break out in a giggle, like a child who was caught red handed. With his face so close to hers, it was nearly impossible not to. But with all of her might, she calmed the giggling child. Y/N opened her eyes slowly, her face scrunched up, pretending that she had just woke up and had to wait for her eyes to adjust. She even stretched her body in hopes that Changkyun would believe it.

“Hmm?” She asked, as if she hadn’t heard him shuffling about. She looks at him, the moonlight from our window lighting up his face. His eyes glistened as he looked down on her with a soft but concerned gaze. Swiftly, her eyes flicker away from his face and she can see his phone in his hand that was resting on his thigh, his other arm I was under the pillow my head was laying on. He was on another call. She squinted her eyes trying to see the caller ID but wasn’t quick enough because he realized what caught her attention, and moved the phone away from view. She looked back up at him with a small pout on her face.

“Sorry about that,” He chuckled in a hushed tone. “I was playing a game.” He kissed her underneath her right eye. The sweet gesture caused a bubbling feeling in her chest. She couldn’t stop the small grin on her face. “I’m sorry I woke you up.” He leaned down and kissed her again, this time on her forehead. She breathes in his scent, their soap and hints of his favorite cologne that he got as a present for graduation and uses sparingly. Wood sage and sea salt.

“Why are you up so late?” She asked, as she attempted to muster up as much of a groggy voice that she could.

“I woke up but couldn’t fall asleep, so I was just on my phone.” He answered, placing his lips by her ear before whispering, “Go back to bed, I’ll be right here.” She nodded, turning back over to face the windows. With no curtain, the light from outside entered the tiny apartment, casting a blue hue over everything. He slipped his arm from underneath her and waited until she closed her eyes again. He let go of the breath that he was holding, before scooting down and off the bed. Phone still in hand, he shuffled to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. She waited a moment before sitting up in bed, looking at the bathroom door.

Unfortunately, the walls weren’t thin enough that she could eavesdrop on him from the bed, only being able to catch murmurs of the conversation from where she was laying. She sat there staring at the door, the light shining from underneath the bottom, the door knob almost shining. It teased her, ‘open the door, confront him.’ Scenarios of what would happen when he exited ran through her head. Would she get up and yell at him? Let him know everything that’s been running through her mind. Demand to know who he’s been talking to every night, where he’s been going, and why? Hell, if she moved fast enough she could barge in there right now and ask the person on the phone herself.

She had almost made up her mind to do it but heard the sound of the sink running and laid back down back in the bed, eyes closed shut instantly. The squeaky door opened again and Changkyun cautiously stepped out. Believing that she had fallen asleep again, let out a shaky sigh. He walked around the full sized bed, to the dresser that was on her side of the bed. He pulls his usual work clothes, a white button up, one of the three ties that he owns, and a pair of black slacks. He checks if they are clean before putting them into his work bag, along with his laptop and a pair of dress shoes. He changed into his regular clothing, a flannel and jeans. He looked down to his side at her, the light on her looked so soft and calming. As much as he wanted to lay back down he couldn’t. He had somewhere to be. He leaned over her again and kissed her on her lips ever so softly, careful not to wake her up. “I love you” he whispered before standing up again. Changkyun grabs his keys, wallet, and phone, putting them into his pockets. He spares her one last look making sure she’s fast asleep and knows nothing of this late night departure. He shoves his feet in his sneakers and walks out of the apartment, silently closing and locking the door behind him. His pace is fast as he makes his way out of the apartment complex. Once out of the courtyard and on the street, he shifts the bag on his back and pulls up the hood on his hoodie, effectively blending himself in with the shadows.

Back in the studio apartment, she lays there eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling. Tear brimming and threatening to escape her as moments pass by.

If you love me so fucking much then why are you lying to me ?

~*~

It’s a chilly spring day, the people outside are making their way around Seoul, dressing in their light coats and bright colors to match the time of year. Trees are starting to sprout flowers in soft white and pink colors. The brightens everything making everything seem a little washed out of color, life a filter has been placed over the world. The cold breeze swept through the city streets shaking blossoms off tree limbs and sent them sailing through the air. The day was nearly picture perfect.

With the weather being so nice, a change from the onslaught of rain recently, Y/N felt like it was the perfect time for her to get out of the house and meet with her friends again. She hadn’t had the time to do so in a while because of all the extra work that she had to do. She ended up paying a majority of her rent on time. Her landlord was annoyed but gracious enough to let her pay off the rest when she had the rest of the money, which she did a week later. With a bit of extra cash in her pocket that she didn’t usually have, Y/N decided to treat herself. She’d worked her ass off the past three weeks and deserved it. Hoping to take her mind off the whole Changkyun ordeal, She contacted her closest friends two days prior. They planned to spend the whole day out, shopping and eating, so that they wouldn’t get caught up watching dramas inside like they usually do. It was 12:30 pm and she sat in the little cafe that Soobin worked in, sipping on a latte and eating one of the small pre-wrapped sandwiches that could pick up near the register. The place was a bohemian inspired with mismatched furniture of all different patterns, styles, and color. Plants hung all over the interior of the cafe, some cute little succulents and other long sprawling plants with huge leaves. Somehow, it still flowed together nicely and gave off a very homey feel. One that Y/N was quite familiar with after visiting the cafe so regularly. Soobin was surprised to see Soojung and Y/N when the two had walked through the door earlier. The girls had promised to meet up after her shift but Sojung had complained in the group chat about how hungry she was and they decided that they could probably get some free food and drinks out of Soobin.

Halfway through brunch, that was turning into more of a lunch at this point, Sojung asked Y/N about Changkyun. She tried to keep it light and casually but was tired of keeping her thoughts in my head. She needed someone to talk to about the secret calls and disappearing. Y/N couldn't help but tell her everything. Every little detail came spilling out of her mouth. After every question she asked her closest friend, she hoped they’d tell me that she was overreacting. But a little voice in her head answered instead. ‘No, it’s not normal. Yes, there is something wrong.’ She couldn’t stop the feeling of being so helpless in those moments. After letting everything out, she tried to pass it off as if it wasn't bothering her as much as it did inside. However, Sojung had no intentions of letting it go. She knew there was something deeper going on.

~*~

"All that and you haven't said a word to him?" Sojung asked me. I shook my head while I took a sip of my coffee.

"Nope. I just don't know where he is going and I don't want to be that type of girlfriend, you know?" I placed the cup down on the table.

She looked at me with wide eyes, completely surprised. I groaned out running my hands through my hair before letting my head hit the table. It was almost like I could hear what she was going to say to me, mainly because I've already been telling myself the same thing. 'You need to say something! You can't just let him walk all over you. If something is bothering you in your relationship, then you should speak up.' It wasn't long before Soobin came over to join us with a small tray with some pastries on it and more coffee.

"Alright," She placed the tray on the table and took a seat with us. "I'm finally off. I hate morning shifts with a passion but I make the most in tips. Also, if you too keep on coming here for free food, My boss is going to figure you two out. Anyway, what did I miss?" I was going to tell her nothing but,

"Changkyun is cheating on Y/N!"

"He’s what?!"

"He is not!" I retort back, lifting my head looking at the two of them. Soobin looked at me with a similar surprised look that Sojung had earlier. "He's not," I say, looking at Sojung challenging her. She rolls her eyes and goes to take another sip from her own mug. "He would never. You know he's not that type of guy. He's just acting weird." I mumble. I didn't want to believe that Changkyun could possibly cheat on me. But no matter how much I tried, my mind always ended up on that conclusion.

"Sure." Sojung placed her cup on the table. She pursed her lips. "Soobin," She turned to her, her body language showing that she didn’t want my input. "If Hyunjung was getting weird phone calls in the middle of the night and then after getting these calls, she jumped out of bed at two am in the morning and just left the house, not waking you up to even tell you where she was going, then doesn't come home until after work, what would you think she was up to, huh?" The whole time while Sojung talked I wanted to interrupt but she wasn't embellishing the truth. That was everything that I was going through for the past three weeks.

"Well, I'd ..." She stopped talking, taking the moment to look over at me with sad eyes. " Oh honey," She started.

"Not you too!" I leaned back in my chair, my eyes meeting the ceiling.

"Y/N, it sounds like he's doing something he doesn't want you to know about. What else could it be?" She sounded so concerned for me but I didn't want to be pitied. I looked back at the two of them, fixing my posture in the chair.

"I don't know what it could be but I can't just come out and accuse him of something like that. I mean, what if he isn't. You wouldn't be happy if Hyunjung just came out and called you a cheater, right?"

"Yeah, but Soobin isn't giving Hyunjung a reason to worry, unlike Changkyun." Sojung budded in making another point that I couldn't refute. All I could do was look at her hoping she would stop being so right about this.

"Have you even asked him about all of this?" From my expression, Soobin could tell what the answer was. Her mouth dropped open. I could understand the shock from my friends. It really wasn't like me to not say something when I was bothered. But this had to do with Changkyun. I'm always so afraid to lose him since we graduated. I always felt like we weren't supposed to make it past that last year of high school. All of it was borrowed time and eventually the two of us were going to be forced to separate ways. It feels inevitable but I just don't want it to be now. Not while I'm still so in love with him.

"Okay, I'll ask him about it tonight when he comes home. Until then can we please drop it, I came out with my friends to get away from all of that."

"You're really going to talk to him?" Soobin asked. Sojung was watching me intently. I nodded my head. I knew I really wasn't but I just wanted to let it go and enjoy the rest of my day. Soobin seemed to accept my answer but Sojung was still silent. We stared at each other until she finally broke.

"Fine. We'll drop it but I want an update after you do."

"Yes, mom." It was my turn to roll my eyes and Soobin giggled. From there, we ate the rest of our food and decided to roam around Hongdae seeing if there was a place to do some shopping. We eventually came across this quaint boutique. We spent the afternoon trying outfits for the next time we would go out together. It'd be a nightclub, so we wanted to look as good as possible. I ended up with a couple nice things, a few sweaters, t-shirts, a pair of jeans, and a nice party dress. They were out of season but they were all on the clearance rack so I didn't break the bank. After all the shopping, we decided to grab something else to eat before parting ways. Sojung was the first to go, leaving Soobin and I walking towards the train station.

"Don't punk out okay. Just ask him where he's been going and let him know that it bothers you a lot." I nodded leaning in and gave her a hug.

"Tell Hyunjung I said hi, okay? Love you." I said, releasing her from the hug.

"I love you too. Don't forget" She said pointing at me as she made her way to the steps of the station.

“I won't, now go before you miss your train." I waved before she disappeared down the steps. It wasn't much of a walk home from there. But I dreaded getting home more than anything. I stopped at the convenience store to waste time. Looking through the aisles picking up some chips, candy and even a bottle of soju.

An aisle over, there was a man with wild brown picking out some bags of chips. I can't help but smile at his hairstyle thinking that he might have jumped out of bed and came to the convenience store. Deciding to mind my business, I pick up two bottles of soju and make my way to the counter.

"Is this all?" the cashier asks. I nodded as he started to bag up my items. While he does that, I notice somebody beside me. It's the same man with wild hair. I take in his face quickly, the small cross tattoo by his eye and his overall outfit allude to the hair being more of a style choice than a circumstance. "That'll be ₩20,000." Immediately, I start rummaging through my bag. Each moment becomes more frantic because I can't find my wallet.

"I got it. I'll pay for both of them together.” He says, pushing his items closer to the cashier.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that.”

“Don’t worry. I won’t put a dent in my pocket.” Pulling out a card from his wallet and holding it up for the cashier to see. He turned to me with a toothy grin and I smiled back politely. After paying for both his and my stuff, he handed me my bag.

"Thank you, that was really kind of you."

"No problem." He said simply and we both walked out of the store. "Welp, good night." He said making a small salute with his hands before walking the way I just came from.

"Good night." I say back to him and turn to walk in the opposite way. I let out a sigh when I deem we are far enough from each other. I didn’t want to have to explain to him why just because he brought my snacks, I didn’t owe him my phone number or my time, especially when I didn’t ask him to pay for it in the first place. But the fact that had just left me to go on my merry way made me smile. Guess he just wanted to be nice to someone.

The whole interaction almost made me forget what I had promised my friends earlier. It wasn't until I was a block away from my apartment complex that I could see the light on from the 5th apartment on the third floor. Changkyun was already home.

~*~

Walking up the stairs to our apartment, I can feel my body getting lighter and lighter with each step, to the point I started to feel light headed. I wanted to run back down the stairs and hide away. Anything to prolong the confrontation I knew would come. But I didn’t have that option. My friends would just send me right back home. I pressed on after catching my breath at the top of the staircase. The words that I had planned for Changkyun left my mind as I neared the door. Quickly I reshuffle the bags in my hand and dig through my purse to find my keys, but failed to get them out. Letting out a sigh, I lift my hand to knock on the door. I really wanted to at least put my stuff down before we started talking.

From the door, I could hear Changkyun shuffle around in the apartment and his feet dragging to the door. “Who is it?” I could hear him ask, his face probably pressed against the door to look out the peephole.

“It’s me, Changk-”

“Sorry, I didn’t order any pizza.”

“Changkyun, it’s not pizza.”

“Oh? No pizza? Then you must be one of those toaster salesman, huh?”

“Oh my god, Chang. You are so annoying.” I drone out with a dramatic eye roll. I have to hold myself from smiling though. Changkyun likes to play this game whenever I lock myself out of our home.

“Wait! You’re one of those cult recruiters, aren’t you?”

“Open the damn door! My arms hurt and the soju is getting warm.” I say giving the door a little kick. Swiftly the door opens up and Changkyun is standing there in his pj’s, wire glasses, and tousled hair.

“Soju? You’re definitely trying to get me to join a cult.” We both share a small laugh as I make my way through the door. “Woah, big baller, what did you get? And did you get me something?” He asked me to take my shopping bags from me and take a quick look through them.

“Just some jeans and tops. I didn’t really get you anything but if you want, there is a cute little dress you can have.” I said with a joking smile plopping down on the bed, shedding my jacket from my shoulders. He came over and pulled the jacket away from me and planted a kiss on my forehead.

“As hot as I would look in a dress, teal isn’t my color.” He walked away with my jacket in hand and turned to hang it up. Watching him, I laid out on our bed. He shoots me a goofy smile as he busies himself around the kitchen. “Ooo, peach flavored? Nice.” He says as he stashes the bottles of soju in the fridge. “It’ll be a good nightcap after we eat dinner. Have you eaten already?” He asks moving towards the small kitchenette. I grunt a ‘no’ to him and he hums and nods. “Good because I cooked dinner for us.”

“You cooked?” I asked in a mocking tone, sitting up slightly.

“Oh shut up, I am not that bad at cooking.”

“You forgot to put water in your ramen.” I deadpan.

“That was once!”

“Twice.”

“Okay, but did you die?” I don’t respond to him, too amused by his persistence and he takes it as a win, “Exactly.”

The rest of the evening went on quite simply. Changkyun served up a pretty decent dinner. It wasn’t ramen so I was generally impressed, however it wasn’t completely cooked by him. Later in the night while cleaning, I noticed a very convenient rotisserie chicken container in the trash. We finally wound down after talking about our days and him enthusiastically telling me a story about a man and his parrot that he saw on the train in the morning.

“And then he would stop the baby talking with the parrot and he wasn’t quiet either. I heard him all the way across the train car.”

“Oh god, that’s weird.”

“Yeah, I’m scarred for life.” With that he got up from his seat next to me, taking out a bottle of the alcohol to pour both of us a glass. The room went silent for a moment as Changkyun tried to get the top off, the only thing that came to mind was the conversation with my friends earlier today. It was time to confront him even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. It was now or never.

“Hey, Chang?”

“Mm?” He hummed, still focused on the bottle.

“I need to talk to you about something.”

“So, uh,” He turned to me, watching as I tried to gather my thoughts. “How’s work going?” He turned back to the counter finishing his task.

“Uh, it's going good.”

“That's good.”

“Yeah.”

“I was wondering if things were okay, because I've noticed you leave pretty early now.”

“Oh, I don't wake you up do I?”

“Uh, no. Not really. It's just that you aren't here when I wake any more.”

“Right. I've been meaning to talk to you about that.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, so,” He pauses, then comes to sit next to me. “I've kinda got the opportunity to work on this new project thing.”

“Really?” My eyes light up with excitement, this wasn’t what I was expecting to hear tonight.

“Yup and pays really well. I know we kinda struggle with all that but I think this could change things for us.” I nod, almost smiling a bit. The thought of things getting better financially for us is something I've been working towards for so long. For a while it felt like I was working alone with Changkyun so focused on his computers that he would spend his last dollar on updating his pc all the time. But now our future was a concern for him too and I was happy about it. That’s where the conversation ended, as the two of us drank and joked around until we both fell asleep.

Sorry Sojung.

~*~

The next morning was the same as it had been the weeks before. Y/N woke up to his side of the bed empty. She’d go through her own morning routine, make her way to work and back home, just to wait around for Changkyun to come home and the two of them to fall asleep. Then the cycle would repeat over again. But things felt different from before. There was no more wondering, no more anxiety, right? She knew where he was. Or did she? Even though Changkyun had given her an answer,it didn’t sit right with her. Thinking about it too much almost made her stomach turn, so she tried not to. If this new found ignorance was supposed to be bliss, then why wasn’t she feeling that. Why was this question still gnawing at her. Taking up so much space in her thoughts that it was hard to be left alone with them.

Somehow, She got through the next three weeks without saying a word to him about it. All she did to quell the turmoil was to listen in to his early morning phone calls if she could. Unfortunately, it didn’t help her. It was practically driving her insane to hear him whisper so secretly. They never had kept anything from each other. Living in such a small apartment makes it nearly impossible.

But she swore she’d let it go. And she almost did, but one phone call she had overheard sent her over the edge.

“No, I’m at home.” Changkyun was hushed about it and turned over to face the wall. “It’s fucking- “ he pulled the phone away from his face to check the time squinting before putting the phone back to his face again. “1 am. The hell are you calling me so early?” Changkyun stretched his neck as he listened to the person on the other side of the phone, a smile gracing his lips. He couldn’t help the low chuckle that escaped him.

“Aww, You’re that needy for me?” He teased the person on the other side.

A chilling sense swims through her body. This was it. This was what she needed to finally stop that internal gnawing feeling. But unfortunately, it was replaced with another one. The feeling of absolute dread. This was what she wanted, the undeniable proof that he was seeing someone else this whole time. Y/N felt as if she could burst into tears right there but she didn’t. The emotion mixing with the dread wasn’t the sadness she hoped for but was anger coursing within her veins. She just wanted to hear the truth come out of his mouth. As angry as she was, she wanted to see if he’d lie in her face or would he own up to his actions. She listened until he was done on the phone. He had made arrangements to meet a couple blocks away in 15 minutes. Changkyun moved out of bed slowly. She could feel how careful he was, trying not to bother her. Little did he know, She thought.

Swiftly, he gathered all the things he needed, his jacket, laptop, clothes for his actual job, and mask to cover his face, like he would for every night prior. He was slowly unlocking the front door, trying not to make any loud noises, when Y/N sat up abruptly. From the surprised look on his face she had caught him red handed and she wouldn’t let him get away.

“Where are you going?” She asked. Her voice was clear and assertive. She tried to not to give any clues that she had listened in on his phone call.

“Y/N? Why are you up?” He dodged her question, his voice coming out a little shaky.

“I heard you get up so I woke up. But where are you going?” She asked again.

“To work. I told you this already.” He made a move to open up the door but heard her shift in the bed more, so he stopped. He hoped she’d accept his answer and just lay back down but it didn’t seem like things were going to be going his way.

“Yeah, but it’s one am. You said you leave here around seven.”

“I know but uh,” He looked back down at his phone in his hand, he was running out of time. “Can we talk about it tonight babe? I really have to go.”

“No, we can’t talk later.” She pushed the covers off of herself and stood up to confront him face to face. She maneuvered her way in between him and the exit to stop him. “Why did you lie to me? Just tell me where you are going.”

“I can’t. I really can’t. We’ll talk later tonight. I promise.” He tried to place a kiss on her forehead but before it could land, she pushed him back.

“I’m not going to be here tonight or ever again if you don’t answer me.”

He seems scared and she’s shocked at her own tenacity. He stood there waiting for her to say something to him.

“Who is she?”

“What?

“You heard me, who is the other person that you’ve been talking to all the time. You sneak out of our home to go see in the middle of the night. Who?” She was getting more and more upset by the way he acted as if she couldn’t see what was happening. The churning in her stomach had produced a heat that was inescapable as it rose in her chest and to her neck.

“You think I’m cheating on you?” Changkyun took a step back and looked at Y/N bewildered. Never in his life did he think that she could accuse him of such a thing. He turns away from her in shock, facing the other side of the room.

“Obviously, you’ve been acting suspicious for a little over a month now. What am I supposed to think?” She crosses her arms. She made her point and now the ball was in his court.

But when Changkyun turns around , it’s Y/N turn to be taken back as he looks at her in a way she’s never seen before. Changkyun looked at her with so much anger that it sent a shiver through her. His jaw was taught as if he was holding back the words he really wanted to say but chose not to. Instead, he shifts his bag over his shoulder and walks up to her, and directly into her face says, “I’m not having this conversation with you. Go to bed.” Before shoving past her and leaving.

She turned to see him leave, grimacing as the door slammed. She wants to chase after him but her feet won’t move.

And now, she was alone in the apartment. She stood there in shock as everything started to process in her mind. The feeling that she was expecting finally came flooding in and teas poured from her eyes. She crawls back on to the bed and sits in the corner with her back against the wall. She grabs a pillow and starts to sob into it. Y/N never thought that their relationship would become so riddled with secrets and lies. She had never wanted to not be able to trust him but she knew deep within her that the stories he told weren’t adding up. She thought she’d be stronger in the moment of confrontation. That she had to be true to herself and follow her gut feelings but she didn’t think that path would have her end up here. Crying and Alone. For hours, she let all her pain and heartbreak into the pillow, before falling asleep in that upright position.

~*~

A buzzing noise and feeling wakes Y/N up. She is still tucked into the corner of the bed but her body has spread out. Even though her mind is groggy and her eyes barely open, she recognizes the buzzing as her cell phone and immediately starts to look for it. She rubs the sleep from her eyes as she finds it folded in between the covers beside her. Quietly, in her heart she hopes it’s Changkyun calling her, hoping that he’d apologize and promise to talk later. But she is disappointed to find that it’s a coworker from her job. That’s when she notices it is half past ten in the morning. She is late for work but she doesn’t make a move to answer the call letting it ring out. She checks her notifications to see that she has five missed calls and three text messages. None of which are from her boyfriend.

She tosses her phone to the side then leaves the bed to wash her face in the bathroom. She flips the switch and as the light flickers on she can see her reflection in the mirror. She can see the prominent tear stains as they go down her cheeks. They reminded her of what happened earlier that morning and she is tempted to start crying again but contains herself. Quickly, she washes and dries her face before returning to the main room. It is rather quiet outside as most people have done all their commuting hours ago, only the sound of a car driving by fills the street every so often.

Y/N shuffles her way to the kitchenette and fills up an electric kettle with water. Some coffee will wake me up, she thinks as she presses the switch to start the machine. She finds her mug in the dish drain and rinses it out before searching for the instant coffee. She finds a packet, tears it open and pours it into the mug haphazardly along with some sugar. She is about to pour the hot water when she gets distracted by the sound of her phone buzzing again. She goes over to the bed and picks up the phone noticing that this time it isn’t her coworker calling but her manager. She answers the phone, ready to get a long lecture.

She was lucky, her manager was more concerned than actually angry seeing as Y/n wasn’t usually a late person and if for some reason she was she would call ahead of time. Y/n lied and told her that she had a really bad stomach ache and the medicine she had taken the night before kept her too drowsy to hear her alarm clock. Her manager is an understanding man and told her to stay home and wished her a speedy recovery before ending the phone call. Y/n felt a little bad for lying but she didn’t feel like plastering on a smile to wait tables today. Her feelings were being worn on her sleeves and she didn’t have the energy to try and hide them. Instead, she spent the day laying bed, wrapped in blankets trying to distract her mind. She wanted to call Changkyun but she talked herself out of it everytime. Opting to scroll through twitter or watch dramas on youtube. It wasn’t long until she fell asleep again, her mind still as clouded as it was when she woke up.

~*~

It’s nearly six pm when Y/n wakes up with a roaring stomach. The only thing she had had today was a cup of coffee and she slept through lunch. She stretches and gets off the bed to search for something to eat in the apartment. Unfortunately, she turns up empty handed with no left overs and nothing satisfying enough to make. If she had gone to work, she probably could have sweet talked one of the chefs to make her something to eat, as they did often for the staff, if they had extra ingredients laying around. Her stomach grumbles again, she wishes she had gone in. She decides to order food instead, pulling from the cupboard drawer a pamphlet for a chinese food restaurant that she orders from often. She closes the drawer with her hip and scans the menu before deciding what she wants. She wonders, What would Changkyun want?

She becomes stiff as she thinks about him. She hadn’t talked to him all day and in a little less that an hour, he should be coming home from work. She sits at the edge of the bed and takes up her phone. First, she had the intention to call him. But settled on texting him. She wasn’t ready to hear his voice right now. She’d deal with that when he walked through the door.

‘hey, what do you want from Mashi? i'm ordering for dinner.’ It took her a long time to send the text but once she did, she immediately closed her phone and placed it face down on the bed. 10 minutes passed and she spent it cleaning up her mug from this morning and looking over the menu again. But before she could nervously look it over for the third time, she heard her notification go off.

He texted her back.

She quickly picked up the phone again, opened it and read his response.

‘dont order for me. i ate at work.’ She couldn’t help but frown.

‘oh okay.’ She texted back. She bit her lip nervously before texting him again. ‘are you coming home soon?’

She waited for him to reply and held her breath when she saw the gray bubble pop up.

‘no. im working.’

It was like another slam to her heart. She held herself back from shedding tears but there was hurt written across her face.

‘are we going to talk about what happened?’ Immediately, under her text a small ‘read at 6:23pm’ appeared and she waited for him to reply.

But he didn’t.

She was fed up and sent a last text. ‘Fine.”

Y/n called up Sojung, explained to her that she wanted to stay over at her house for a couple of nights. When she asked what was this all about, Y/n told her that she’d explain when she came over. She gathered her clothes in a duffel bag, stuffing them in without a care. Before leaving the apartment. That would be the last time she would see their small apartment. After a long night of explaining, crying, and two bottles of wine, Sojung convinced Y/n to block Changkyun’s number after leaving him one more lengthy text message. She decided that it would be best to just end their relationship. She didn’t want to have to worry about where he was and obviously he wasn’t going to be forthcoming with that information. And although Changkyun did read the text, again, he didn’t respond.

Y/n’s friends would end up gathering the rest of her stuff while Changkyun wasn’t home. She moved in with Sojung and would start trying to reconfigure her life. Before it was centered around Changkyun but now that he wasn’t in the picture anymore, she had to figure out what she wanted. She decided that she was going to go back to school and finish her degree. She had stopped because it was a lot of work and keeping a roof over her head became more important. But now that she had a living situation that was more stable, she figured it was the best move for her. And the work would be a good distraction for her.

But it didn’t stop her from thinking about him. Changkyun would cross her mind every now and then as she hoped that he was okay. He never tried contacting her after she officially broke it off with him. It troubled her because they were so close to each other, practically attached at the hip and now they were almost like strangers and she wouldn’t hear again from him for a long time.

#ssw freelancer #monsta x scenarios #monsta x imagines #monsta x reactions #monsta x changkyun #monsta x i.m.#monsta x x reader #i.m. x reader #changkyun x reader #monsta x hacker au

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feistypaants-archived · 5 years ago

Text

Between The Pipes [Chapter 29]

Rating: M Words: 2341 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When a new owner takes over the Arendelle Ice Breakers, Kristoff isn’t sure about his future with the team. That is, until a PR nightmare throws the newest member of the media team, who also just so happens to be the daughter of the new owner, right into his arms. Kristoff and Anna can’t even stand the interviews they have to do together… how on earth are they going to fix this mess? Hockey!AU.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: Something amazing happens.

So so so so so so many that it's close to infinite thank you's to @xmjcx for helping me with this chapter. Her wisdom got me over a roadblock I couldn't figure out my way around, so, yeah. I'm just forever grateful. (hopefully this butters her up enough that she's not mad at me for posting it while she's asleep whoops)

Enjoy!

Kristoff had insisted, after their long-running burger dinner, that either she should come to his, or let him come to hers. But Anna had smiled and shook her head, promising that she just had a very bad headache and wanted nothing more than to go to bed.

“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?” He stroked a nervous thumb over the back of her hand before she leapt out of his truck.

No kiss.

“I know,” she smiled again, but it still wasn’t reaching her eyes.

Anna waved and left him sitting alone, worried and upset, as he watched her shoulders sag as she made her way up the stairs. He hoped maybe some sleep would help.

But then she didn’t show up the next day. To be fair, she didn’t really have any work to do when there wasn’t a game - she just usually came to watch practice and hang out afterwards - but it was strange nonetheless.

He had texted her as soon as he got off the ice.

Want me to come over tonight? I’ll bring dinner? Chinese?

aww, you’re sweet. im just not feeling well. maybe tomorrow?

All right… let me know.

of course!

He didn’t even hear from her for another day after that.

She came in on Thursday for a game against St. Louis, and Kristoff took note of the caked makeup over her dark, puffy under eyes. “Hi, baby,” he tried, letting out a heavy sigh of relief when she immediately stepped into his outstretched arms and pressed her nose into his shoulder. “Feeling better?”

Her head shook a firm no against him, but he wasn’t going to push it. Kristoff was just thankful she was _here _and responding to him.

“I’m here,” he breathed into her hair. “Whatever you need.”

He swore he felt her sob against him.

She powered through the night, interviews were jovial and upbeat as she made jokes and teased and talked through play-by-plays with some of his teammates. You could barely even see how much makeup she was wearing on camera - Ryder had been picking flattering angles and lighting.

They had won, she had hugged him, and even kissed him once more.

But she still drove home alone afterwards.

“Man…”

Kristoff turned around in the parking lot, surprised to see Honeymaren walking out behind him. “Real shame, huh?” He felt his eyebrows furrow as she looked down into her bag. Did she know? “I know, I know, I’m not supposed to know but,” she shrugged and smiled sadly up at him. “Her sister has loose lips.”

He nodded once, hoping she would continue. Thank god she wasn’t so tight with secrets either. “Just… God their father is the worst, right? I can’t believe that he just fired her like that.”

His heart was hammering in his throat as she kept talking.

“You’d think, you know... that’s his kid, right? Give them the benefit of the doubt?” She was shaking her head now. “Apparently he called her all sorts of…” She sighed into a groan and she practically shivered. “Just… horrible.”

Kristoff gave her about thirty seconds to continue before he blurted out a quiet “why?” He ignored how her eyes widened. “Why did he fire her?”

Honey looked shocked now. “She… Anna hasn’t told you?”

He could feel his eyes fluttering slightly as he shook his head. “No…”

“Oh, um…”

Regret was radiating off of her in waves. She had said too much, he knew she thought it, but… He understood, now. No one wants to be fired - much less by their own parent - not to mention, Kristoff genuinely couldn’t think of a single thing Anna could have possibly done wrong. She was a great employee, and a great on-air personality… But he still didn’t understand why she wasn’t telling him.

Unless…

His shoulders slumped. “Was it… because of me? Because,” he stuttered for a moment, gripping the strap of his duffel. “Because she was dating me?”

“Oh, god,” Honey cringed, pressing a palm against her forehead. “I… I think you should talk to her. I… shit. I’m sorry.” He watched her cheeks darken as she turned to head back to her car. “I… god, I thought you would’ve known.”

He nodded once, curt and hardly there, as she climbed into her drivers’ side. “Me, too,” he mumbled, before she shut the door.

—

One more day passed before he heard the personalized Disney ringtone she had set on his phone - because you said I was pretty enough to be a princess, remember? - and Kristoff was almost embarrassed at how he dove for his phone. “Anna?”

“Wanna come over?” She sounded so shy, and he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. “I’ll order pizza.”

“Of course, give me a few minutes.”

She hung up almost immediately and he definitely broke a few speed limits getting to her as quickly as he possibly could. And, as if she heard his truck, or his heavy footsteps, or even his panting for air as he sprinted up the staircase, her front door swung open just as he lifted his hand to knock.

“Hi --”

“No talking.” Anna threw her arms around his neck and led him quickly into the apartment, kissing him deeply as they stumbled over her haphazard piles of belongings. It was only a short walk before he recognized the distinct smell of her perfume that was strongest in the bedroom.

Fuck, he knew they needed to talk, he knew she needed to tell him, or that he needed to tell her, but she was so warm and giving and he had missed her so much. Then suddenly, a moment of clarity as she threw herself down on the bed, fingers tangled in his t-shirt, moving with enough force to pull them apart for just a moment as he locked his arms on either side of her. “Hang on, wait, Anna… We really should--”

Her hand clasped over his mouth. “I said no talking.”

Kristoff blinked a couple times in surprise, eyes scanning over her face. Her nose and cheeks were red, eyes dark and wet, and she had still fucking been crying. But… would this make her feel better? Could he risk turning her down and her kicking him out? She was in control of this whole situation, and if this was what she wanted…

God, no.

No, it wouldn’t help. He knew her well enough by now to know that for sure, didn’t he?

Turning his head enough to slip her hand from his lips, Kristoff twisted his hips so that he was sitting beside her now on the bed, resting one of his hands on her forearm and squeezing reassuringly. “Anna…”

Her cheeks were red, now with embarrassment, as he rubbed his thumb back and forth over her skin. “Honeymaren, uh… She told me what happened.”

There was a mixture of confusion and anger and relief washing over her features as she seemed to be puzzling over which one to allow to the forefront. He blew out one breath of air, and had to close his eyes when he heard one heavy sob escape from her throat. “She… what?”

“Not…” He stroked his fingers up her arm to rest below her shoulder, doing his best to reassure her. “Not everything, I don’t think. Just…” She sat up, forcing his hand to leave her arm and settle on her leg. “That he fired you.”

His eyes dragged over the slight swell of her throat as she swallowed before darting back up to her downcast eyes. Kristoff only hesitated for a moment before he scooted a little closer, now hip to hip, and nudged her with his shoulder. “Anna…” She looked up at him, eyes red and puffy, and he tried his best to give her a soft smile. “You can tell me as much -- or as little -- as you want. I’m here. Just… let me know what you need.”

She blinked away a few tears, sniffled once, and then laid her head against his shoulder.

“He…” Another sniffle. “He was never told that our… how we started…” He couldn’t see her face, but he could almost picture her lip caught between her teeth as she struggled for the words. “He didn’t know it was fake. And… I guess someone told him…”

Warren. That scumbag Warren told him. But how the hell did he even know?”

“So… now I’m a big liar.” Her hands came to grasp at his as he flipped his palm up on her thigh, and she let out a small sigh as she started playing with his fingers. “I guess it just… confirmed his suspicions about me - about…” Anna’s head shook against his shoulder and he nodded, letting it go. It was something she wasn’t ready to reveal yet, and he would respect that.

“Anyway, I guess he said… it wasn’t worth the potential scandal?” He could tell it was easier when she wasn’t looking at him. “If everything came to light… About how I got the job, about the… PR stuff… I think he said I wasn’t good enough at it to justify it… I don’t really know,” she laughed lightly, bitterly, as she squeezed at his fingers, and he tried his best not to let the rage bubbling in his stomach boil over. “I kind of blacked out a bit, I think. But… After the All-Star break, I’m… done.”

Kristoff turned his head to press his lips softly against her hair before settling his cheek against her head once more. “Your father is making a huge mistake. It’s going to be a big loss, you not gracing everyone’s screens anymore.”

Anna laughed, quietly but genuinely this time, and he brought his other arm to settle around her hips. “I’m not kidding, really.” He could feel her turn her nose in to nuzzle against his throat. “Listen, I’ve… seen a lot of interviewers and worked with a lot of interviewers, and you have this very, very natural charisma about you. You get even the most resistant guys to talk.” He vaguely lifted their joined hands to gesture at himself.

“You hardly wanted anything to do with me, if you want to remember correctly.”

“Yeah, well,” he grinned, pinching at the curve of her hip and soaking in the soft sound of her laughter. “That’s what I’m saying. You’re so good at getting people to open up and talk. That’s a skill few possess.”

He wanted so badly to look at her, but Kristoff wouldn’t risk moving if she felt safe here. “And, god, you’re so smart, Anna.”

A meek “I am?”

“Of course! Fuck, you learned the ins and outs of hockey in a matter of weeks.” He felt her tensing against him. “I swear, you asked questions that even made us impressed. You saw things sometimes that even _I _missed on the ice.”

“No I didn’t.”

He did pull back then, turning on the bed to face her as he lifted his hands up to her shoulders, pressing firm palms against her. “You did. Anna…” Her eyes rose to meet his and he couldn’t help but smile. “You’re amazing. You’re kind and funny and smart and brave -- you took a job you knew nothing about in a new city and you proved that you could do it. You stood up to people who said you couldn’t -”

“... Like you.”

“... Like me.”

There was a smile on her face and a light in her eyes that Kristoff had been so desperately missing. “You’re… you’re brilliant, and you’ll have no problems getting up from this. And…” He leaned a little closer as his hands dragged down her skin to clasp her fingers in his, holding them tightly between their chests. “I believe in you, so much. Whatever I can do to help, whatever you need. I’m your guy.”

Anna’s whole body shifted with the deep breath she took in and released, as her eyelids fluttered and she bit at her lip. He wanted to kiss her, but first he wanted to make sure she was okay.

“I have no doubt that you’ll come back from this better than ever. Whatever job you find after this.” Blue eyes rose to meet his, and he felt a warmth growing in his chest. All he wanted from this day forward was for her to be so happy, no matter how that came to be. “What can I do?”

She slid her hands out from his and reached forward to stroke soft thumbs over his cheekbones. “You’re already doing it.” Moving to kneel, Anna shifted forward on the bed to settle between his thighs. “Thank you,” she hummed, before pressing her lips against his. It was chaste and soft and slow, and Kristoff felt his lips stretching into a smile under hers.

“Anytime,” he murmured, lifting his hands to rest on her hips.

It was different this time as she kissed him. It was different as she wrapped her arms around his neck. And it was different as she looked at him, something new and exciting and raw in her eyes, before laying back and encouraging him to join her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. I…” Her eyes darted across his face, and she reached one hand up to cup his jaw. “I want to.”

“Not…” He had to make sure. “Not like before, right? Not just to escape?”

Anna smiled, and shook her head. “No. I just… want to be with you right now.” Her plush bottom lip was caught between her teeth again as she stroked her thumb across his skin. “I… I think I’ve realized something.”

He nodded, bracing his weight on his elbows as he leaned down to continue.

And finally, it was so, so different, the way they moved together, softly, slowly, cherishing the moment and the comfort of one another as they found a new rhythm that no longer felt like it used to. It no longer felt like just sex, just benefits, just friends.

It no longer felt like just.

#btpfic #feistypantswrites

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doyouever-daydream · 4 years ago

Text

Friends with Kids.

A/N I re-watched Friends with Kids for the firs time in years and I came up with this, if you, like me, love rom-coms I highly recommend it, therefore if you don't want spoilers for the movie, go watch it and then come back here to read this! For the sake of the story there might be some OOC moments, don't kill me. Also there are many time-jumps so I hope it’s not too confusing. English is not my first language so bear with me, I try my best, I'm still working on it. I enjoyed writing this so much! I started last month and it was a blast so hopefully you enjoyed it as well, if you did, let me know! Thank you for reading this super long oneshot. P.S. This is the first work of the Movie AU series that I've been planning (if you pay close attention, without intending to I wrote a couple clues about others stories I'm working on (Movie AU's as well) 👀

P.S. 2 You should go and check this post and this post and help if you can ❤

ALSO this is another entry for my @cmbingo card, the square is Friends to Lovers.

Summary: After seeing all of their friends having kids, Penelope and Luke decide that since none of them seem to have found their person, they agree to have a child of their own. Having a kid with your best friend can't be that bad, right? (Movie AU: Friends with Kids)

Pairing: Penelope Garcia x Luke Alvez (with a little bit of Jemily 🤭)

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of sex, bad jokes, SLOWBURN, some angst I guess, some grammar mistakes.

Word count: 15410 (y’all told me to post it as a one instalment lmao 🤯🤯🤯)

Masterlist (You can also find this and other fanfics in my AO3 acc )

Luke didn’t need to look up to know that Penelope was finally down in the lobby, the sound of her high heels gave it away, he pocketed his phone and got up, ready to go and meet their friends.

“Hello chica” He kissed her cheek and she returned the gesture.

“Hi newbie, I’m sorry it’s so late, I got caught up at work, let’s go”

“After you” Once they were outside their apartment building, they called a cab, eager to get to the restaurant and catch up with their friends.

“How was work?” Penelope asked him as she put on lipstick.

Luke shrugged “Same as usual, nothing exciting happens, what about you?”

“Terrible day, I can’t wait to drink a couple glasses of wine” Luke snorted and raised an eyebrow “Or five”

“It’s Friday so I’m also thinking about getting a little tipsy” She placed her lipstick in her purse and rested her hands in her lap with a smile on her face.

“It’s been so long since the eight of us have gone out to dinner, I miss everyone”

“I know, I don’t think I’ll recognize their faces anymore” Penelope rolled her eyes instead of going along with it.

They remained in a comfortable silence the rest of the time, saving everything else they had to say until they were with the rest. Penelope and Luke saw each other much more often than the others, mostly because they lived in the same building, just an elevator ride apart, Penelope’s place was on the third floor while Luke’s was on the seventh. Another reason as to why they didn’t see each other that much was because half of the gang, Matt, Kristy, Derek and Savannah were now parents and they didn’t have as much free time time as before.

Once in the restaurant, Penelope walked as quickly as she could, Luke following close behind careful to act if she tripped or something. Penelope’s smile fell just a little when she only saw Emily and JJ sitting at the table.

“Hey, you guys are here” Emily and JJ quickly rushed to them, and after a round of greetings and hugs, the four sat down.

“Where's the rest of the gang?” Luke asked, looking around to see if they were by the bar or coming from the bathroom.

“Yeah, we can’t be the awesome eight when there are only four of us here” Penelope stated as she nicely signaled the waiter to come over.

Emily bit her lip and looked at JJ “They called to inform us they can’t make it tonight” The blonde woman informed them.

“Kristy’s not feeling well and Matt has to be there to take care of the kids and Derek and Savannah couldn’t find a sitter” Emily added carefully watching Penelope, they all knew she had been looking forward to this dinner for a few weeks now.

“Oh” Penelope forced a smile “It’s ok, I get it, things happen” Under the table, Luke took her hand and squeezed it, she looked at him and smiled a little less forced this time.

“We’ll be the fabulous four tonight” JJ raised her glass and Penelope remembered she hadn’t seen them in a few months so it was still exciting getting the chance to see them.

“I’ll drink to that” They all proceeded to order their drinks and dinner, ready to make the most of the evening.

They spent the next hour and a half talking about how life was, JJ and Emily told them about the trip they made to Italy to celebrate their three years of marriage, Penelope told them a funny story about a blind date gone wrong, Luke shared he was getting promoted at work, overall life was good for all of them and it made the evening much more pleasant even though four of their best friends weren’t there.

“There’s this guy at work who I think would be great for you” JJ commented while eating her dessert.

“I don’t know if I should trust you to set me up anymore, last time was horrible” Penelope replied remembering the last date she had with one of JJ’s prospects for her.

“No, this time it’ll be better, I promise”

“I think you’d like this guy, Pen” Emily said while sipping on her glass of wine.

Luke nudged her with his elbow “Come on, chica, let JJ set you up, it can’t be worse than the time the guy bursted into tears when you told him you were a Libra”

They all laughed, followed by a loud sigh from Penelope “God, I missed this so much, being with you, laughing at my terrible luck when it comes to dating”

“I missed it too” Emily interjected “Being together not laughing about your love life”

“I gotta say it” Luke started “I love our friends’ kids so much but I miss the times when it was just the eight of us, you know?”

Before JJ or Emily said anything Penelope spoke “I know, I mean I’m also super grateful those little sweethearts joined the fam but on nights like these I get all nostalgic reminiscing the pre-babies era”

JJ and Emily shared a look and both Penelope and Luke knew something was up “What’s that?” Luke wondered.

Emily took JJ’s hand “Well, one of the news we wanted to share tonight was that JJ and I are adopting” Penelope and Luke were wide eyed “We actually started the process a few months ago but didn’t know when we were going to be matched and we didn’t expect it to happen soon but we’ve been matched, it’s sweet one year old girl” JJ finished telling their news to their friends.

“Her name is Emerson and she’s coming home with us in a couple weeks” Emily waited anxiously to see their reactions.

Penelope was the first one to speak “Oh my God, you guys, congratulations, a new addition to the fam” She was genuinely excited with her news and so was Luke.

“It’s great to hear this, you’ll be amazing moms” He turned to Penelope “We’re getting a new niece”

“I know, I know, look about what we said earlier-” JJ cut her off.

“Oh, it’s ok, we know kids aren’t really your thing so it’s alright” Luke was the only one who noticed how Penelope’s face changed for one second, she quickly smiled again, hoping no one noticed the flash of disappointment in her face at JJ’s words.

After saying their goodbyes and promising to reunite once Emerson was settled with JJ and Em, Luke and Penelope took another cab to go back to their apartments. She was silent and Luke didn’t know if it was a good idea to ask what was on her mind, he debated whether or not to start a conversation.

Before thinking it twice he started “So was it true?” Luke questioned and Penelope tilted her head.

“What do you mean?” Luke licked his lips.

“What JJ said about kids not being your thing” Penelope sighed and bit her lip, of course Luke had noticed her expression when she heard their friend saying this.

“She was referring to both of us, Luke” She tried to avoid answering his question.

“I know but in my case she’s wrong I would like kids” She looked at him with raised eyebrows and a smirk in her face.

“I didn’t know that, newbie” Luke shrugged “I honestly assumed you were the no kids kind of guy”

“Are you kidding me? My mom would never forgive me if I never gave her grandchildren” Penelope laughed imagining Elena, Luke’s mom, lecturing him to give her grandchildren.

“So you’re doing it for your mom then?”

“No, I really wanna be a dad, someday, a tiny human that’s half me, that would be great” She patted his shoulder.

“You’re right, that would be great” He looked at her expectantly “What?”

“What about you, Penelope? Would you like to have kids?” She pressed her lips together.

“Yes, I would love that” She admitted after a few seconds of being silent “The thing is I have no one, sometimes I think I should’ve said yes to Kevin when he proposed, I’d have children by now”

“You’re gonna find someone” She rolled her eyes “You will, you are gorgeous and an amazing woman”

“Have you ever wondered if you’ve already met your person? You know, the one you’re gonna end up with?” Penelope questioned.

“No, I haven’t met my person, I know that much, but I will and so will you, Pen, you’ll see” He put his arm around her and she rested her head on his shoulder, starting to feel sleepy, they remained like that until they got home, said goodnight and went to sleep to their apartments.

Almost four months later, Luke and Penelope were hosting a baby shower for Matt and Kristy, it turned out that time they had cancelled dinner with them was because Kristy was having a hard time during the pregnancy.

Everyone was there, including friends they hadn’t seen in a while, all of them with their significant others: Spencer, Tara, Alex, Kate, David, Aaron and Elle.

At one point of the party, Penelope escaped from the conversations about marriage and kids, and she stood in a corner trying to go unnoticed, during the entire gathering Luke had kept an eye on her, since they were planning the party, he noticed the subject was still a sensitive for her.

“We did good” He said as he leaned against the wall.

Penelope looked around his place, everyone seemed to be having a good time “Yeah, I think it turned out pretty well” He offered his glass of wine, it was almost full “Thank you”

“I’ve always known we were a dynamic duo” This earned him an eye roll from Penelope, he expected her to say something else but she remained quiet and so did he.

She took in the scene of her friends with their children, the look on their eyes were like nothing she had ever seen before, she knew these people from a very long time and there was always a huge difference between the before and after having kids.

“I want this” Penelope said out of the blue.

“Ok” Luke said unsure as to what she was referring, he thought about it for a second “I can plan a birthday party for you next year, Pen”

“Not a party, I want to have a baby” He didn’t know what to say to that but just in that moment JJ walked over to them with Emerson in her arms.

“This little one is looking for her fairy godmother” Emerson reached her arms to Penelope and she happily took the one year old in her arms.

“Did you, little Em?” She kissed her goddaughter’s head “I was missing you too” The baby babbled, content to be with her auntie.

“I’ll go grab some cake” JJ turned around and walked towards the kitchen and Kristy came to join the three of them.

“Thank you guys so much for this” She offered a warm smile “I promise you we’re done after this one” She announced while she rubbed her round belly.

“Oh don’t mind us, you have as many babies as you guys like” Luke joked and when they laughed, little Emerson joined them with a giggle.

“No, we’re definitely done, it’s your turn to find someone and start giving us nieces and nephews, right, Emerson?”

“I think this one will get a little sister or brother before we know it, Em and JJ are over the moon being moms” Penelope stated.

“I know” Kristy agreed “It’s been really touching seeing them in this new phase”

“I hope someday you guys get to see me being a mom” The nostalgia was obvious in her voice.

“It’s gonna happen” Kristy assured her “And I can’t wait, Penelope” She smiled to her and then proceeded to go with her husband.

Seeing Penelope with Emerson and the rest of their friends’ children left him thinking, after the baby shower was over Penelope stayed to help him clean even when he told her to call it a night and go to get some rest, but she refused, they spent the next couple hours tidying up the place, once they were done Luke offered to order takeout but she didn’t accept and went to her apartment.

Luke tried to get some sleep but he kept turning and tossing in his bed, his thoughts not letting him rest, he tried everything but ultimately failed, he looked at his alarm clock, it was almost 2:00 AM. Unable to get his idea out of his mind, he got up and walked towards the elevator, he needed to tell Penelope what was happening on his mind.

Once he got down to her floor, he stood outside her door for a few minutes thinking maybe it was too out of line to make her the proposition he was thinking about. He pressed his lips together and rubbed his palms in his pajama pants, trying to muster enough confidence to knock on her door.

He sighed and knocked a couple times.

Luke tried a few more times, wanting to tell Penelope what he was thinking about, after all it was his best friend, if she didn’t accept, they could laugh it up and continue as if nothing happened.

Penelope opened the door “What’s up, Luke?” She put on her glasses as her eyes adjusted to the light.

“Can I come in?”

“Yeah, what’s wrong?” Penelope yawned.

He stared at her and took a deep breath “I want a baby” Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Are you… Drunk?” She questioned and he shook his head.

“I want to be a dad” He blurted.

“Ok? Well I know everyone calls me the fairy godmother but it’s not like I can make a baby appear and give it to you”

“What if you could?” Luke objected.

Penelope let out a frustrated sigh “Are you high?”

“No, Penelope, you want to be a mom and I want to be a dad, we haven’t found our person but we’re best friends I thought maybe we could try this”

“How would that even work? Luke, what the fuck?”

“Look, there are different types of families, two best friends having a kid and then finding their person doesn’t sound too crazy to me” He insisted.

“Are you being serious right now?” Penelope wondered, trying to examine his face to see if he was messing with her.

“I am” He walked to her and took her hand “Think about it, we’re best friends, we have a baby and we split everything 50/50 costs, responsibilities, and it will be good because we’re not attracted to each other, we won’t get to have married couple fights and all the complicated part” He offered a small smile to his friend who looked at him open-mouthed trying to process everything he was saying.

“I need some time to think about it” Luke smiled when he heard those words and let go of her hand.

“Alright, that’s ok” He walked towards the door “Let me know what you decide on, you know where to find me” As he was about to leave, he turned around and quickly walked to her to hug her.

“Go to sleep, Alvez”

“Garcia-Alvez has a nice ring to it” He whispered in her ear before she swatted at his chest, he rushed to the door and closed it behind him, leaving Penelope standing there, shocked at his proposition but also thoughtful, she walked to her bedroom and snuggled once again in her bed, trying to regain her sleep before Luke came to disrupt her mind.

Penelope and Luke were busy with work for the next couple weeks, until one night she texted him if she could come up to see him, he instantly replied with a yes and Penelope was on her way with an answer to his proposition. She let herself in and walked to his living room, he was watching TV.

“Hello stranger” He patted the couch, inviting her to sit beside him.

She plopped next to him and Luke put his arm around her without taking his eyes from the screen “How’s… life?”

“Good I guess?” He quickly shot her a look with an eyebrow raised “How about you?”

Penelope played with her hands “Did you mean what you said that other night?” Luke turned to her and took the remote control turning the TV off and giving her his undivided attention.

“About having a baby with you? Absolutely” His voice was firm and his face was serious.

“I’ve thought about it” She looked at him and he was waiting for an answer.

“And?” He questioned with raised eyebrows.

“Ok” Penelope stated in a whisper.

Luke smiled “Ok?”

“Ok” She returned the smile “You are right, there are different type of families and two friends having a kid doesn’t sound like the worst idea”

He leaned forward to her “Should we get to it? Like now?” Penelope jumped.

“No, not now but soon I guess, I’m not sure” She was suddenly self conscious, thinking that in an attempt to have a baby together, they’d need to have sex.

“We could do those fertility tests to know when you’re ovulating” Penelope looked surprised.

“How do you know about those?” She asked with amusement.

“What? Because I’m a guy I can’t know? Come on, Pen, I’m a modern men” She chuckled and looked at him waiting for the truth.

“Ok I saw it on a movie but I do want to know more about this, I plan on being there for you during the pregnancy, Lamaze classes and all”

“Alright, we can talk about all of that later, I’ll just go have dinner now” As she was about to get up, Luke took her hand.

“Don’t go, we can order something or I could cook something for you”

“Didn’t you already had dinner?” He nodded

“But you can have dinner here, you don’t need to eat all by yourself”

“Alright I’ll go check your fridge, I’m sure there’s some leftover takeout I can eat” Penelope went to the kitchen and Luke started to look for something she could also enjoy on the TV, this was their routine, having dinner at each other’s apartments whenever they could, talking about life, family, dates they’ve been, adding a baby to their dynamic didn’t sound like the worst idea.

“We are having a baby” Penelope announced to their friends, Luke was a little bit terrified of Derek’s reaction to the news, Penelope and him were very close.

“So you’re finally together?” Savannah said with a smile on her face.

Derek who was sitting beside his wife started grinning, he knew this day would come “I’m happy for the both of you”

“Uhm, no, we’re not together, we’re just having a kid” Savannah’s and Derek’s face changed into frowns.

“Oh” Savannah said smiling again, trying not to show her confusion, she wanted to be supportive of her friends, especially Penelope, she was Derek’s best friend.

“So how far along are you, baby girl?” Derek wondered with a more serious expression.

“I’m not pregnant yet, we just decided to have a baby”

“It’s because we both want to be parents so w-we came up with this idea” Luke added.

“Well, that’s great, isn’t it, babe?” Savannah squeezed Derek’s knee for him to say something supportive.

“Yeah, yeah, it is” He tried his best to offer an honest smile “Hank would love to have another cousin, especially coming from his fairy godmother”

Penelope smiled at Luke reassuring him that everything was ok, he had expressed his concerns over Derek’s reaction but as close as Penelope and Derek were, this was her decision.

Later that evening Penelope offered to help Derek to do the dishes and he was glad he would have a moment alone with her.

“Are you sure about this, baby girl? The whole having a baby with Luke thing?” She noted the worry in his voice, she finished drying the last plate.

“I am, it’s not like we are getting any younger” She shrugged and leaned on the kitchen counter, he shot her a concerned look “Hey, if you weren’t married I’d go to you for this” She joked nudging him with her elbow “Just imagine your DNA and mine, that kid would be something else” They both laughed.

“I can only imagine how that’d conversation would go” Derek commented while drying his hands.

“I actually can’t, I mean Luke was really the one that came up with the subject”

“Was he now?” He asked with an arched brow

“Stop it, it’s not like that” She rolled her eyes “We’re friends, that’s all we are and all we’re going to be”

Derek shook his head and let out a sigh “Alright, if you’re sure then just know you have us for support, questions, help, anything you need, sweetness, and I better be godfather”

Penelope got teary eyed, it was really important to her to count on Derek for this new adventure, he was her most precious friendship, so listening to him saying those words made her feel more at ease, she was sure of her decision but that didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified of the changes coming up.

Soon all of their friends heard the news from Penelope and Luke, Matt and Kristy were very supportive, mostly because in their eyes those two belonged together, they thought that maybe for them the baby had to come first then they’d realize how perfect they were for each other despite their differences. A contrast from Emily’s and JJ’s reaction, JJ had always been super protective of Penelope, and she thought this was a terrible idea where Penelope would end up being hurt, Luke was her friend as well and knew he wasn’t a bad guy but raising a kid with someone was complicated even when you were in a serious relationship with someone you were in love with, Emily wasn’t a fan of the idea either, someone was bound to get hurt and no matter who, their kid would have to pay the consequences, they didn’t explicitly voiced their concerns but neither did they applaud their decision.

Kirsty, JJ brought their kids at Savannah and Derek’s for a playdate, and it was only a matter of time before the subject was brought up.

“So what do you guys think about Pen and Luke’s plan?” JJ asked watching Hank helping Emerson to get the toys she wanted.

“Well I hope she gets pregnant soon, so their baby can be close to this little one in age” Kristy replied while rubbing her stomach.

“It’s gonna be interesting” Added Savannah while taking a sip of wine.

JJ squinted and looked at them “Don’t you think it’s crazy for them to go through it? Penelope is too sensitive, I’m not even sure she’s not feeling something for him already, what if she gets her heart broken?”

“It may not be ideal but…” Savannah shrugged her shoulder and pressed her lips “It’s their decision and I don’t think anything we say will change their minds”

“They want to be parents, they are planning this and seemed excited, I don’t think it’s the worst thing”

The blonde woman remained silent, she was still unsure it was the right choice but everyone seemed to be on board so she tried to be supportive of Luke and Penelope, hoping with all her heart they they’d prove her worries were silly and that they would make it work.

The day had finally come, they were trying tonight and Penelope was a bundle of nerves, Luke on the other hand was excited, lately his desire to be a father was getting stronger, all of his co-workers talked about their experiences in fatherhood and even though they shared both, the good and the bad, he was anxious to experience it firsthand.

“Alright I’m ready” Penelope announced as she entered his apartment in her mermaid nightie and fluffy robe with unicorn slippers, Luke smiled at the sight of her, soon with all the confidence she had mustered, Penelope straddled his waist.

“A ‘hello, how are you?’ would be nice” He joked and she lost all confidence, the blood traveled to her face and she stepped away from him but Luke took her hand and pulled her so she was sitting next to him “I’m kidding, it’s j-just I don’t know, I’m using humor to lighten up the mood”

“I’m mortified, Luke” She admitted with closed eyes “We’re having sex”

“It can’t be that bad, I know it won’t be bad” Penelope opened one eye.

“How could you know?” Luke shot her a smirk and a wink.

“If we’re comfortable enough to have a baby together then I’m comfortable enough to confess I’ve had some dreams”

Her eyes shot open “LUKE!” Penelope’s voice raised with surprise.

“That’s exactly how it sounded” He joked and if Penelope wasn’t red before she was now.

“Oh my God, stop, I don’t know if that makes me feel better or not” Luke laughed, not really understanding why she was so worried.

“Come on, chica, it’s gonna be alright” He placed a strand of her out of her face.

She sighed and sat up straighter “Ok, let’s do it”

Luke caressed her cheek “Are you sure?”

Penelope swallowed and nodded, he went on to kiss her and after a few seconds she started laughing.

“Pen, this is not helping my confidence” He commented as he pulled away, Penelope rested her forehead on his.

“I’m sorry, it’s just, you know I laugh when I feel awkward” Luke softly placed his hands on her shoulders and got up.

He extended out his hand to her “Let’s go to the bedroom” Penelope looked hesitant “If you don’t feel like doing this today, we can do it some other day, it’s ok”

“No, I want to, it’s just… Weird”

“So I shouldn’t have lit the candles or put a million rose petals on the bed then?” Penelope rolled her eyes, he was teasing her to that one time a guy had done that and it was a huge turn off for her.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up, I hate your mouth so much”

Luke loved to mess with her “I bet you a hundred bucks you won’t be saying that in a few”

“Fuck you, newbie” Penelope spat.

HIs hands signaled to himself “Be my guest” This time he saw the eye roll on her face accompanied with annoyment and he decided to stop his teasing “Alright, alright, look, I know you like fresh sheets and I even used that softener you like, let’s go to bed and… Do this”

“I need a minute” She went to the bathroom and Luke sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for her, he licked his lips, hoping she wasn’t regretting everything, soon Penelope came back and stood between his legs.

“Ok, shut up for real this time and let’s do this” She placed her hands on each side of his face.

“One baby coming up” Penelope facepalmed “... In nine months, th-” She kissed him in an attempt to shut him up for good, Luke immediately responded and placed his hands on her hips.

Once they were done, they remained on his bed, both were hopeful that everything was on their side so within the next couple months they could see a positive pregnancy test, Penelope’s awkwardness was all gone, she figured she was making a big deal of the whole thing, having sex with Luke wasn’t bad and she actually had enjoyed it more than she thought she would.

“Shouldn’t you lift your legs up or something?” Luke suggested.

He didn’t see her rolling her eyes “Is this another thing you saw in a movie?”

Luke turned to her “Maybe”

“Let’s go to sleep Luke” She turned to the other side and fell asleep easily.

That night Luke had another dream with Penelope, except this time, in his dream they were a family, they were even married and had twins, he woke up in the middle of the night thinking about it, he remembered the joy he felt in his dream and allowed himself to imagine how life would be if that scenario became a reality, after a few minutes he shook his head, Penelope was just his friend, there was no interest in being more than that from either side.

They decided to give it a few tries, to increase the chance for them to get pregnant, the next times weren’t awkward except for one time where Luke came in unannounced.

“Pen” He called for her entering her apartment “Chica, let’s get to baby making, there’s a game I really want to catch later” As he finished his sentence he reached Penelope’s living room only to find her sitting there having dinner with a guy, Luke’s eyes widened, she was going to kill him probably.

“Uhm, I think you already have plans for tonight” The guy said while getting to his feet.

“Wait, Joe, it’s-” Penelope didn’t know exactly what to say.

“No, no, it’s ok, I’ll go, it was nice meeting you” He hurriedly got his messenger bag and walked out of the apartment.

Luke immediately apologized “I should’ve knocked, sorry, I’m really sorry” Penelope waved him off.

“A mutual friend set us up, she insisted a lot and I ended up saying yes” She sighed “But right now, I’m not interested in dating, not when I’m trying to have a baby with my friend, so it’s ok” He still felt terrible so he decided to skip the game and stayed to have dinner with her.

“Pen” Luke squeezed her hand “Are you actually gonna take the tests or are you just gonna stare at them?” She looked at him.

“Maybe if I stare them long enough they’ll get some sort of vibes from me and show us if that week of trying worked or not” He smiled sympathetically, six weeks had passed since that week and Penelope avoided taking the pregnancy tests, even though her period had been late, she was scared of seeing the results, Luke was understanding and supportive, he had a good feeling but he put himself in Penelope’s shoes.

“Come on, let’s go” He took the bag of pregnancy tests he had bought and tried to guide her to the bathroom but she didn’t move an inch “It’ll all be ok”

“What if it’s not?” Penelope asked in a whisper.

“Then we’ll get through it, together” She felt tears coming to her eyes, she was terrified of the results, whatever they may be, she knew they would have an impact to her.

Luke was open to keep trying if the results were negative but he didn’t know what Penelope wanted so he wanted to know what the tests actually ended up showing before bringing up the conversation. A few minutes later, he was waiting outside the bathroom for her, he was starting to get worried, she was silent.

“Penelope, can I come in?” No response, that didn’t help his nerves “Ok, I’m coming in” When he entered, he saw her face filled with what he believed to be surprise.

She barely smiled “It’s positive, all of them are actually” Luke’s lips spread into a wide smile.

“I knew I had a good feeling about this” He hugged her and kissed her hair, they were going to be parents.

The next few months flew by, soon they were getting ready to welcome the little one, true to his word Luke had been with Penelope as much as he could, whenever he wasn’t at work he was beside her learning together, reading books, attending classes, building baby furniture, reading Penelope’s favorite children’s books to the baby, feeling the baby kick for the first time, discussing names, imagining how life would be once the baby arrived.

None of them had been really interested in meeting new people during the pregnancy, until Phil, Luke’s friend insisted on setting him up with a doctor, after much insistence Luke accepted, not without asking first Penelope for advice on whether he should go out with her or not.

“She sounds great, you should do it, it’s been an eternity since you’ve gone on a date” Penelope mentioned rubbing her belly “I miss listening to your disastrous dates stories, they are quite entertaining” Luke glared at her and handed her the ice cream pint she had asked for.

“Ha-ha, you’re very funny” He pursed his lips together “I think I’m gonna tell Phil yes”

Penelope winked at him while licking ice cream off her spoon “Great, I’ll help you choose a nice outfit”

A week later Luke was out with Lisa, Phil’s friend, she was really nice, easy to talk with and gorgeous, she didn’t seem to freak out entirely when he brought up that he was about to be a dad, he was actually enjoying the night, for a second he saw that she seemed distracted and looking behind him.

“I’m sorry, Luke” She cut him off “I think there’s someone trying to get your attention” His brows furrowed as he turned around to find Penelope carrying her hospital bag, this immediately made him panic as he rushed to her.

“Are you in labor?” He took her by the shoulders and examined her.

“Yes, my water broke” Luke was in shock for a second “An hour ago but it is until now that the contractions are getting frequent and…” She placed her hands on her shirt and clutched the fabric “...Stronger”

“Oh my God, you should’ve called me the minute it happened, let’s go” He tried to take her hand but she managed to remind him to give an explanation to the nice woman that looked at them with empathy in her eyes.

Soon they were settled in the hospital room, Penelope wasn’t ready to push yet but both her and the baby were doing fine.

“You were supposed to go into labor in two weeks” Luke was scared this was a sign something was wrong but after some tests, doctors and nurses assured them everything looked normal.

“I guess we already know newbie junior is antsy like daddy”

“We don’t even know if the baby’s a boy”

“Oh newbie is gender neutral, I’ve been calling them this without actually thinking it’s a boy or a girl”

Luke smiled and started to push some strands of hair out of her face “You’re being a champion, Pen, you’re handling everything amazingly”

Penelope laughed as she took deep breaths “Oh, don’t be fooled newbie, I’m freaking out and I might pull one of those ‘what have you done to me? I hate you’ lines just like in the movies”

“I’ll take it, chica, you can even punch me if you want, so I can experience at least a little bit of pain with you”

“I’ll keep that in mind” She joked.

Soon Penelope started to push and not even once she cursed at Luke, he held her hand, cleaned the sweat off her forehead and kept encouraging her to trust her body, Penelope was exhausted and sometimes she felt like she couldn’t go through it but then she remembered that after all the pain she would finally look her baby in the eyes and fall in love like she had never done before, she tried to remember everything she had learned from her doula, and within the hour she heard her baby’s cries.

Luke swore it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard, while Penelope’s eyes focused on the baby who was being all cleaned up.

“Congratulations, it’s a boy” Doctor Kim said as she placed the newborn on his mother’s chest.

“Hello you” Penelope whispered with tears on her eyes, and Luke stood over her head watching his son “You couldn’t wait to meet us, little one” The small baby fuzzed.

“It’s alright, we couldn’t wait to meet you either” Luke said while seeing him open his eyes for a brief moment before he closed them and nuzzled to her mom’s chest.

“He’s here, Luke” She stated without taking her eyes off her boy “We did it”

The following morning, the new parents were still living in their own bubble with their son, he was healthy and so was Penelope.

“Ok so we agreed on Bowie, right?” Penelope tried to see if Luke would budge.

“No, sorry chica, we didn’t”

“Alright, Ziggy then” Luke laughed softly, she kept suggesting those ever since she got pregnant.

“Nope”

“Ok…” She tapped the baby’s little nose “David it is”

“What about Julian?” He suggested and Penelope felt in her heart that was perfect for him.

“Julian” She bit back the smile and thought about messing with him for a little “I guess we’ll go with your suggestion”

“Hey, I’m trying to-” Penelope finally looked up to him and smiled widely.

“I’m kidding, I love it, he looks like a Julian” His tiny lips turned up in what looked like a tiny smile “See? Jules agrees” She passed the tiny bundle to Luke and he happily held his son.

“Hello young Julian Garcia-Alvez, we love you more than you could ever imagine”

Later that day Derek and Savannah came to visit, they couldn’t wait one minute more to meet the new addition to their lives.

“Hello, hello” Savannah announced as she carefully opened the door and peeked her head “We’re here to meet the handsome boy”

“Ah! We were waiting to see you” Penelope was beaming at the thought of her found family meeting her boy “Come on in”

Derek entered eyeing the three of them, he was glad for her best friend, she had always wanted to be a mom and now she had finally become one.

“Look at that, my baby girl had a baby boy” Derek saw the tiny baby in Luke’s arms, he was familiar with the look on Luke’s face, it was one of pure love and adoration, the one he had for Hank when he had been born.

“Let me present to you to Julian Garcia”

Derek raised an eyebrow at Penelope “It’s Julian Garcia-Alvez but I guess Luke’s too lazy to say the full name”

Luke didn’t even seem to hear them mention his name, he was to absorbed in his son “I love the name, he’s gorgeous, congratulations guys” Savannah squeezed Penelope’s shoulder.

After a conversation about how Penelope had to interrupt Luke’s date and how was Julian’s birth, all while his auntie held little Jules, Savannah suggested Luke to go and get some tea and muffins, she wanted to give Derek and Penelope a moment so they could have a conversation of their own, ever since she had started dating Derek she knew him and Penelope shared a really special friendship and that sometimes they needed a moment just them alone to talk about life.

“We’ll be right back” Luke glanced at Penelope and Julian and smiled at them before closing the door behind him.

They remained silent for a few minutes as they only focused on Julian who was now wide awake.

“How are you feeling?” Derek asked softly.

“I feel like I’m in a dream” She admitted “I can’t believe this sweet little boy was given to me”

He placed his hand in the side of her face “I already know you’re gonna be the most amazing mom to Julian” Penelope leaned into his touch.

“Thank you for being there, both you and Savannah were the two people that were the most supportive, I’m still not sure JJ and Em are totally on board with this and Matt and Kristy they have five kids now so we don’t get to see them much but you and Savannah were always there for us”

“And we plan on continue being there for the three of you” Penelope couldn’t hold back her tears “May I?” She carefully handed Julian over to him.

“Can I confess something? I’m scared about how this is gonna go, I mean with Luke, how we’re gonna make this dynamic work”

“Baby girl, are you sure you don’t have feelings for him?” Penelope smiled.

“I love the guy, I mean he’s the father of my baby but no, there’s no feelings there” She was being honest but still Derek felt uneasy, thinking the situation could change and Penelope would end with a broken heart.

“Ok, well I’m sure you will make it work, maybe it won’t be easy but both of you are very determined and at the end of the day it’s this little guy you’ll be doing everything for so I’m sure you’ll be ok”

“Oh, chocolate thunder, you always know what to say” Penelope stated seeing Derek smiling at Julian “I wanted to ask you something, well, Luke and I did”

“Anything”

“We were wondering if Savannah and you would like to be Jules’ godparents?”

“Oh, Penelope, I would’ve disowned you if you hadn’t asked, of course, we would be honored to be his godparents”

“I love you, Derek Morgan” She reached out for his hand.

He looked at her and squeezed her hand “And I love you Penelope Garcia” He looked down at his new godson “I love you too Julian”

That day after Derek and Savannah, Luke’s family, and the rest of their friends had visited them to meet Julian.

Penelope came out of Julian’s room, she had put him down to sleep, already knowing he was going to wake up in a few hours, three months had already come and gone, neither could believe how fast time was passing by, they had adjusted quite nicely.

“Ok, I have some more things I need you to store in your apartment” She signaled some things next to the door, they were some coats, a pair of skis, shoe boxes, even her ukulele was being forgotten at the moment and since it was taking space it had to be stored on Luke’s place, they had been doing that ever since they’ve brought Julian home.

“Have I ever told you you own way to many shoes?” Luke commented rubbing his eyes.

“All the time” She smiled “I still don’t care”

“Alright, I’ll take them now and don’t worry about waking up later, I’ll come down to feed him�� She raised an eyebrow.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, it’s around 2 when he wakes up, right?” Luckily for them, Julian was the greatest baby, he easily fell into routine, he woke up around the same time each night, so Luke had alarms and he came down so it wasn’t only Penelope waking up at night.

“Yeah”

“Ok, goodnight”

For Luke it felt as if he had just closed his eyes when the alarm went off, he quickly got up and went to Penelope’s place, he opened the fridge to find the different bottles, each of them were labeled:

One glass of wine.

Couple of Margaritas.

Pure.

Stressful day.

Pure.

He snorted and grabbed one of the bottles labeled as ‘pure’ and proceeded to warm it, he didn’t hear any crying when he came in so he assumed Julian had yet to wake up demanding to be fed, a few minutes later the three month old woke up and Luke was ready to feed him, he sat in the rocking chair with the baby to his chest, once Julian was done with the bottle, he burped him and sat a little bit more with him, he loved those moments were he could hold his son and sing the lullabies his mom and grandma used to sing to him when he was a kid.

He was loving being a dad and co-parenting with Penelope, he practically lived there, he would leave only at night but even then, he’d come back and sometimes would end up crashing at the couch waking up at Penelope’s. Luke placed Julian on his crib and left the room, as he walked out of the room he saw a photo of the three of them in the hallway and smiled, everything felt right.

Luke hurried through the stairs, he was coming home from work and Penelope was calling him nonstop to get home, he didn’t wait for the elevator and took the stairs, once he opened the door, he was met by a crying Julian and a crying Penelope.

“I’ve done everything and he won’t stop crying, he hates me, Luke” She said through her sobs.

Luke felt bad for Penelope, she was more sensitive than usual, the hormones were to blame, he went to them and took Julian in his arms.

“I’m his mom and he already hates me” She cleaned her tears off her face.

Luke started to sway him from side to side “He can’t hate you now, wait until he’s sixteen”

“LUKE!” Soon Julian stopped crying in Luke’s arms “How the fuck did you do that?” She asked in surprise.

“Oh, I don’t know I guess he loves me but he hates you” He saw the tears on her eyes “I’m kidding, I’m kidding”

Penelope sighed and sat on the couch “I’m returning to work soon and we don’t have a nanny yet”

“I know, I asked around some of my coworkers and they recommended me some agency” She smiled.

“That’s great, but we need to be clear on something” He looked at her with a frown “You can’t fuck the nanny”

“Penelope! I wasn’t planning on doing that”

“Ok, just saying, newbie”

By the end of the week they had hired Max to be Julian’s nanny, Penelope was faced with another challenge, learning how to manage going to work and being a mom, soon she discovered it was hard but she could handle it, she missed going to work, seeing her co-workers and having an excuse to actually put on some decent clothes and makeup.

Matt, Kristy, JJ, Emily and their six children were visiting Luke, Penelope and Julian, they hadn’t seen them since the hospital, they were curious to see how ‘the experiment’ as Emily called it was going.

“I’m not gonna lie, I think the reason they didn’t invite us over sooner it’s because they’re having a hard time adjusting” Emily spoke up.

“You think? I don’t know” Matt replied.

“I mean it wouldn’t be a surprise, becoming a parent it’s not easy” Kristy added to Emily’s comment.

“We’re about to see” JJ said as they all stepped out of the elevator, it took five seconds for Penelope and Luke receive them, he had Julian on a baby carrier close to his chest.

“Hello!” They said in unison, after a round of hugs and greetings, they went to the living room.

“Please, get yourselves some drinks, I made some tapas, I’ll go get them” Penelope announced and JJ joined her in the kitchen.

“Hey, everything looks great” She meant it.

“Thanks, we manage to keep everything in place but Jules is about to start crawling so next time you won’t find a tidy place” Penelope laughed.

JJ frowned “Is Luke living here?”

“No, well, kind of, he spends a lot of time with Jules” She shrugged it off, it wasn’t a big deal for them.

“Penelope…” JJ sighed “What’s this that you have going on?” Penelope rolled her eyes at her words, it wasn’t the first time she questioned it and certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“We’re raising a baby, he stays over, sue me” JJ’s eyes widened “No, he stays over but nothing happens, I’m not attracted to him and he’s not attracted to me, it’s all fine”

“Ok, then it’s time for you to get yourself out there again”

“Actually I’ve been thinking about it”

“Say no more” Her friend winked at her and Penelope just went long with it, JJ said about a co-worker of hers that sounded dreamy. Once they returned with some appetizers, everyone was settled, Luke had taken the older kids to the other room where they put on a movie for them and gave them some sandwiches and toys so they could be entertained.

“It looks like you’re doing amazing, man” Matt said as he placed Rose on the ground, she was eager to follow Emerson,

“Yeah, it is, Pen and I are convinced we got very lucky with Julian, he’s great”

“Wait until he starts walking” Emily commented while she watched Emerson closely, she was walking around the adults, observing what she could grab, unfortunately for her, the apartment was childproof so there was nothing she could really play with other than Julian’s toys and her own.

“I know I told Luke that by then I’m sure I’ll have to give up my high heels” Penelope said while sitting down next to him and absentmindedly resting her hand in Luke’s thigh “Can you imagine me running around a kid in five inch heels?” They all laughed and Luke placed an arm around her, everyone could see the look on his face as Penelope continued talking, Matt and Kristy shared a knowing look and JJ was just starting to think Penelope was lying about “nothing going on”.

The rest of their visit went by quite quickly, all of them enjoying their time together, at some point, Penelope realizes it’s their first time her and Luke can relate to the parenting experiences and struggles, even though Derek, Savannah and Hank couldn’t make it, her heart fills with joys as she sees most of her found family together.

“You’re almost there, buddy” Luke was sitting on the floor, multitasking, he folded laundry and watched Julian as he tried to stand using Luke’s arm as support.

“Breakfast is ready for my favorite guys” Penelope announced carrying two plates “Here, put these on the coffee table, I’ll go get Jules’ plate” She leaned down to carry him “Come on little guy, let’s get those hands clean”

While Luke and Penelope both sat on the floor, Julian used the coffee table for support and finally managed to stand up and grab some of his breakfast, he was a good eater, they stared at him, amazed by the little boy who owned their hearts.

“Can you believe he’s almost nine months? He’s getting so big” She sighed nostalgically.

“I know, I feel like in no time he’ll be going to preschool” Luke added as he took a bite of his own breakfast.

“Don’t even start” Jules looked up to his mom “Yeah, baby, what if we slow down a little with this whole growing up so fast? Can you do that for mommy?” Luke was also looking at Penelope, he was thinking about how wonderful the last year and a half of his life had been, since finding out about the pregnancy to that very moment, he felt extremely content to have Julian and Penelope in his life.

“Ma!” He exclaimed and went back to grab a fistful of scrambled eggs.

Luke smiled at his son then he turned to Penelope “You know? I don’t think it’s been that hard, all of this”

“Right?” She took a sip of juice “I feel the same, we make a good team, newbie” Just as Luke was about to say something else, Penelope’s phone dinged, she quickly took it and smiled at the screen, he remained silent and took Julian and sat him between his legs and put his plate in front of him so he could continue eating his breakfast.

“You’re done, Julian” He said to his son as the baby looked up to him with wide eyes “Yeah, it’s gone, it’s all in your tummy now, come on, let’s get you changed”

“Oh, I can change him, don’t worry” Penelope took her eyes off her phone.

“Alright, I’ll go wash these” He said as he took the dishes into the kitchen, trying to think who was Penelope texting.

A very happy Penelope entered the kitchen carrying a very happy Julian, they went to stand beside Luke as he finished drying the plates.

“You’re in a good mood” Luke stated trying to seem nonchalant.

Penelope couldn’t hold back the smirk “I am, I need to tell you something” She sat Julian in the kitchen counter “I’m going out with someone tonight”

Luke wasn’t sure why he felt a stinging sensation in his heart “Oh” He couldn’t think of something else to say.

Her smile soon changed into a frown “Is that ok? I thought this was my free night, but if you’ve got plans I can- “ Luke interrupted her.

“No, no, no, no plans at all” He tried his best to fake smile “It’s great, I’m happy for you, who’s the lucky guy?”

“His name is Sam, JJ set us up, we’ve been texting these past couple weeks and we decided to go out today”

“Great” Luke said without looking at her nor sounding very cheerful but Penelope failed to notice that.

Later that evening Penelope was a nervous wreck, she had facetimed JJ and Emily to voice her concerns about going on a date, she felt like she didn’t even remembered how to go on a first date, she remained sat on her bed, with her robe on, looking at the outfit her friends had helped her choosing, she thought about calling Derek, he was great at helping her when she wasn’t feeling her best self, as Luke passed her bedroom after putting Julian to bed, he stopped and saw that she didn’t have the happy look she had that morning.

He opened the door a little bit more and peeked at her “Hey, how is getting ready going? Everything good? Did he cancel?”

Penelope quickly looked up “No, it’s just that I’m nervous” As soon as she said she felt a little embarrassed “That’s stupid, isn’t it? Oh God” Luke entered and sat beside her and took her hand.

“Not at all, it’s normal to be nervous before going on a first date, but I’m sure you’ll be fine, from what I gathered he’s a great guy”

Her eyebrows raised “Did you eavesdropped my conversation with the girls?”

“Pen, you were literally sitting across Julian and I”

“Oh, that’s true, sorry, I was a little distracted then” She confessed running her hands through her hair.

“Should I prepare some tea for you and your nerves?” He suggested, not liking to see her stressed and thinking she shouldn’t be worrying, it was impossible she wouldn’t blow the guy’s mind, she was a catch.

Penelope placed one hand on the side of his face “Luke, that would be wonderful, you are a gift”

“Alright, you continue getting ready and I’ll bring your tea in a moment” Just as he was about to leave, Penelope called him “Yeah?”

“Nevermind” She sighed and stood up to start doing her hair.

“Penelope? Come on, you can tell me anything” He leaned in the door frame, waiting for her to say something, instead she turned around and opened her robe, she was in her underwear.

“Do you think my body is ready to, you know, get out there?” Luke ignored the sensations the image in front of him caused to his body and walked to her, putting his hands on either side of her face.

“You are beautiful, Penelope, don’t ever think you’re not, you could’ve gone out on a date the next month after having Julian for all I know” She blushed and looked down “I mean it, you are the whole package, you’re smart, kind, witty, and sexy as hell so stop doubting yourself and if for some reason this guy doesn’t seem to be into you, then we’ll tell JJ, her friend is out of his mind” He kissed her hair.

“You really have a way with words, Alvez” She managed to look up and smiled “We need to find you someone as well” He pressed his lips together and that’s when he knew he didn’t want someone else, he wanted Penelope.

As he prepared her tea, he sat on a stool and tried to think when his feelings for her had changed, he was sure he didn’t feel that way before, or maybe he was but didn’t realize? He was so deep in his thoughts he didn’t listen the kettle whistling, he rushed to it so it wouldn’t wake Julian up but he was late, he went to get him and later appeared in Penelope’s room with Jules attached to his hip and nuzzled in his neck in one arm and a mug in the other.

“Here you go” He said placing it on her vanity.

“Oh thanks” She glanced at him through the mirror “And thanks for getting him, I can’t exactly stand up fast and move freely with these attached to my boobs” She laughed.

“It’s ok”

“Isn’t this sexy?” She joked “Hair curlers on my head, makeup half done and pumping breast milk” Penelope laughed, she felt much more relaxed after Luke’s words.

He managed to smirk, it was an amusing image but in that moment it was also a beautiful one to him, even though in some part of his heart he felt it was wrong seeing her getting ready to go out with someone else.

“Your mom doesn’t believe what I tell her, Jules, please don’t be like her when you grow up” Penelope swatted his stomach.

“Hey! Don’t put my baby against me” She reached to Julian and Luke got him closer to Pen “Go to sleep, my sweet boy, I love you” The sleepy baby barely registered his mom kissing his forehead.

Luke put Julian to sleep and half an hour later saw Penelope walk out the door, he tried to watch TV but got distracted every few minutes by his thoughts who were set on Penelope and how her date was going, he glanced at the clock every frequently and even at the door, hoping to see her come in and say she wasn’t going out anymore because she had realized it was him she wanted to be with.

He leaned back on the couch “Stop, Alvez” He said to himself, he thought about calling Matt but it was kinda late, so he decided against it, after what it seemed like an eternity, Penelope walked through the door, she quickly took off her shoes and coat, she didn’t see Luke until he spoke.

“Hey, how was it?” He said rubbing his eyes.

“Oh, sorry I didn’t mean to wake you”

“It’s ok, I wasn’t sleeping well anyway, so did you have a good time?” Penelope smiled widely and nodded.

“JJ was right, he’s amazing, I-I think he could be the one, and I know it sounds precipitated to say that but...” Luke felt his heart break and couldn’t even focus on what she was saying, he felt his world starting to crumble down “Luke? Are you hearing what I’m saying?”

He snapped out of it “Yeah, yeah, I’m glad, Pen, uhm I guess we won’t have to complain to JJ about it” He rubbed his palms against his jeans and got up “I’m gonna call it a night, I’m gonna go up, ok? I’ll see you guys tomorrow”

“Ok, have a good night” She replied with the smile that had never left her lips since her date started, she really felt a connection with Sam.

A few weeks passed by and Luke called Matt to ask him if he wanted to go shoot some hoops with him, Matt found the urgency in his voice odd and was sure it was a bad sign, he agreed and met him at the basketball courts they frequented. As they started, Luke tried to tell him how he had felt ever since Penelope had started seeing Sam, he was going around about other things without saying what he actually meant.

At one moment when Luke tried to take the ball from Matt, he abruptly stopped and went to the bench signaling Luke to go with him.

“So you have feelings for Penelope” It was a statement not a question.

“That’s not what I-” Matt rolled his eyes.

“Cut the bullshit, Luke, I wasn’t asking, I know for a fact you do, it was bound to happen and that time we all went to your house, you looked at her the way I look at Kristy, the way Derek looks at Savannah”

“You should’ve told me then, maybe then she wouldn’t have gone out with mr. Wonderful”

“Hey, it wasn’t up to me to get your stubborn ass to come to terms with your feelings, it was something you had to figure out on your own, unfortunately you did until you saw her with someone else” He drank water as Luke sat beside him running his hands through his hair.

“Should I talk to Derek? Ask him some advice?” Matt snapped his head at him.

“About what? Winning her over? I hate to say this but if she’s happy with this Sam guy, you shouldn’t interfere” Luke looked at him feeling almost betrayed “Dude, I know she’s feeling very happy, she’s talked to Kristy and she seems hopeful to see where it leads”

Luke sat with his head in his hands, not liking what he was hearing but knowing Matt was right, Luke himself had witnessed Penelope’s new happiness and excitement over the relationship “Why do I have to be so fucking stupid? Imagine if I had known before, maybe it would’ve been us in a relationship” Matt patted his shoulder.

“Hey, their relationship is fairly new, no one knows, maybe they’ll be done in a few months and you’ll have your chance, don’t lose all hope but don’t interfere”

He sit up “I guess you’re right”

“You should try and find someone as well, give it a try and see where it goes”

“Yeah, maybe I will, I don’t know” Matt got up.

“Alright, let’s resume the game ‘cause I’m beating your ass, Alvez” Luke rolled his eyes and followed his friend.

A few days later, after getting some groceries Luke had encountered with Lisa, the woman he was on a date with the day Penelope had gone into labor, he remembered how nice she was and they agreed on meeting again sometime, soon after that they were dating and although he knew he still had feelings for Penelope, she was very happy with Sam, he had met him and he hated the fact that there wasn’t much to dislike about him. He was amazing to Penelope and Julian, he was attentive, very respectful, kind, and the list went on, Luke was starting to come to terms that maybe Penelope and Sam were going to become permanent at some point and it did hurt him to think about it, but then he remembered he had Lisa, who was also an incredible person that was very understanding of his co-parenting situation.

It was almost New Year’s and the entire gang were going to a cabin to spend it together, it was the first trip since Julian was born and Penelope and Luke brought significant others, everyone was excited to spend the holiday together.

Penelope was packing her suitcase for the trip, Luke had packed Julian’s the day before so she only had to worry about her stuff, she remembered Luke had her skis and went up to ask him if he could take them in his car. As the door opened she was met with a smiling Lisa, the one year old in Penelope’s arms squealed happily.

“Isa!” He extended his arms to her and Lisa looked at Penelope to which the blonde nodded and allowed Julian to go with her before asking to be down.

“Pen! You’re here, are you ready?” Luke greeted her.

Penelope swallowed unable to get her eyes off Lisa who was helping Julian to walk “Uhm yeah, almost ready, I was wondering if you could take my skis?”

“Sure thing, I already loaded them in the car”

“Alright, we’ll get going” Penelope announced wanting to have his son back in her arms.

“Hey, if you want we can take Jules” Luke suggested and before Penelope could say anything Lisa spoke.

“Oh, absolutely, we could do that” Penelope gave them a tight lipped smile and clasped her hands together.

“Alright if you want to, it’s alright, I mean, if you’re sure”

“Of course, he’s the sweetest boy, aren’t you Jules?” Julian hugged Lisa’s leg and Penelope felt something she didn’t know how to label.

“Ok then, I’ll see you guys later”

“Wait Pen, I’ll go down with you to get Jules’ stuff” Luke walked with her to the elevator and for the first time in years, there was an awkward silence, at least that’s how it felt to Penelope whereas to Luke was just a normal silence.

“Is it okay that Julian goes with us, right?” He turned to her.

“Oh, yeah, totally” She mirrored his actions.

“I’m really looking forward to this trip, it’s the first time JJ, Em, Derek and Savannah are gonna meet Lisa” Penelope shot him her best forced smile and nodded.

Luke was in fact, telling the truth, his relationship was in a good place, he felt hopeful about a future with Lisa, she was very clear by telling him that she was looking for something serious and it came as a surprise to him when he found himself telling Lisa, he was also expecting to be with someone for the long run and that they should work towards a relationship of that kind, he was finally moving on from Penelope.

Or so he thought.

The cabin they rented was beautiful, it was big but cozy at the same time, everyone, adults and kids, were excited to be spending the next few days there, getting to know Sam and Lisa a little bit more since everything indicated they could eventually be more present in their lives. Matt and Kristy entered carrying, what it seemed like twenty bags, followed by their five kids, David holding little Rose’s hand who was excited to be walking in the house.

“The Simmonses have arrived” Derek yelled as he walked over to them to help with their stuff.

“We have and we are ready for the kids to be with their uncles and aunts while mom and dad rest” Kristy joked placing the bags on the floor.

“You definitely deserve some relax time, you guys are saints” JJ said hugging the kids.

“Where are the others?” Mat asked.

“We’re here!” Penelope announced appearing from the kitchen walking hand in hand with Sam “I’d like you to meet Sam”

“Oh we’ve heard great things about you, it’s great to finally meet you, I’m Matt, this is Kristy, and these are Jake, David, Lily, Chloe and Rose” Sam shook hands with the married couple and high fived the kids.

“Nice to meet you all, I was looking forward to finally see you, I have two boys myself that are actually your age I think” He said to Jake and David “So if you want to play something maybe I can join you” Both kids eagerly nodded.

The next couple days, almost everyone seemed to be having a great time, except for Emily and JJ, they seemed a little bit off but no one dared to ask why, it was only at moments they would be quiet than usual and seemed to be a little bit out of it, they tried to put pieces together but no one seemed to have a clear idea of what was going on, they didn’t look distanced from each other nor from Emerson, so they tried to not interfere.

“Oh, I’m happy to see you’re feeling better, babe, are you joining us for breakfast?” Penelope said to Savannah who had missed previous breakfasts.

“Yes, I’ll be down in a minute” She replied while tapping Julian’s nose.

Penelope went down and found Sam helping the kids with their breakfasts, it was a funny and sweet sight, Jake, David, Chloe, Lily and Hank gathered around him as he placed pancakes on all of their plates.

“Look at you JJ, you finally got it right with Sam” Kristy teased her, JJ had the worst record setting up Penelope and it was a never ending joke between the group of friends.

The blonde woman rolled her eyes and smirked “If you ever decide to have a kid, Pen, I must be the godmother” She half joked.

“I don’t know, maybe eventually” Both Kristy and JJ snapped their heads at her “What? I think this is going somewhere, he has two kids, I have one but I don’t know”

“I can’t believe there’s something you don’t know, Pen” Luke’s voice made them turn around to see him walking from the hallway, having listened only the last part of what Penelope was saying “Good morning ladies, I made some coffee if you want”

“Thanks Luke, where’s Lisa?” Kristy questioned.

“Oh, she’s getting ready for the day, she’ll be out in a few”

Once they were all sitting in the large dining table, Derek called their attention, both him and Savannah had big smiles on their faces.

“We would like to tell you that next year we’ll need a bigger cabin” Savannah taking her husband’s hand.

Derek continued “There’s going to be not one, but two new Morgans causing trouble” The entire group erupted in cheers and congratulations, JJ’s eyes went immediately to her wife, she knew her and knew that it took everything in Emily to smile, they were going through some stuff.

Part of the group had decided to go skiing while the others preferred to stay at the cabin and drink some hot chocolate, Matt, Derek and Luke walked a few feet behind Sam, Lisa and JJ.

“So Morgan’s party of five? How are you holding up?” Matt asked Derek, he remembered the surprise, nervousness and excitement that came when receiving the news he was going to have twins.

“Oh man, I can’t believe it, I still am processing all of it, Hank’s four so I’m not even sure I remember exactly how life with a newborn is, let alone two” All along Luke and Matt noticed how his features softened.

“I bet you and Savannah will get the hang of it” Luke assured him.

“You know we got you guys, so anything we can help with, I’m sure there’s some stuff we have that we don’t use anymore but it’s in great shape that you could use” Matt added and Derek felt thankful for them, all of them.

“Now that I have a son maybe you’ll finally trust me to babysit”

“I’m not sure, we’ll see, we’ll see” Derek teased him and Luke scoffed.

“I vouch for him, Derek, I’m actually sort of proud of you, dude” Matt turned to Luke “It’s really warming to see you with Julian”

“I gotta agree with that, I was just messing with you Luke, what Matt is saying it’s true, I’ve loved to witness both you and baby girl, as parents to Jules”

“Thanks guys, it means a lot to have your support and to have you as a part of Julian’s life” Luke spoke from his heart but he also needed to point something out “Not to end the soft moment here, but did you see Sam’s face the other night when you called Penelope ‘baby girl’?”

“Oh I did, it took everything in me not to burst into laughter, Kristy actually kicked me in the shin beneath the table” Luke laughed.

“Honestly I’m so used to it that I didn’t notice but Savannah did and she told me to do something about it but Penelope assured me that she had explained everything to him and that he seemed fine with it, but I’ve toned it down a lot, I don’t know, I think this could be it for Penelope you know?” Luke swallowed, he had thought about it but wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Matt spoke up “They seem to be very serious, I like him”

“I guess I do too?” Derek shrugged, his mind remembering how just a few months ago he was convinced Luke was the one for Penelope, Luke and Matt eyed him curiously and that made him rephrase his words “I-I do like him, it’s just I’m super protective of her but he makes her happy so yeah” Luke refrained from offering his thoughts on Penelope’s relationship, he wasn’t sure what he made of it, how he felt, just then Lisa called out for him and he remembered he had an amazing woman in his life.

It was finally New Year’s Eve, the kids were all asleep and the adults were planning on enjoying dinner and drinks together, they were halfway through their dinner when Sam brought up an interesting subject.

“I have to say, I’ve been curious how did you come up with the idea of having a child together? Whose idea was it?” He wondered genuinely interested in listening the story.

“I… Don’t remember” Penelope tried to shrug it off, not wanting to discuss that in front of everyone.

“It was me actually, I had the idea, she had talked to me about wanting to be a mom and I wanted to be a dad and next thing we know we had Jules” Luke replied nonchalantly.

“The truth is he wanted this genepool for his kid, I mean, can you blame him?” Penelope joked while signaling herself.

“And have you thought what exactly are you gonna tell him when he’s older? About his parents being with other people” Lisa inquiried, her tone wasn’t rude at all.

The rest listened and focused on their plates, that was until a tipsy Emily decided to jump in the conversation.

“Oh, I want to listen to this, I bet they didn’t think about it”

“Well we might have talked about it once or twice but didn’t came up with a plan exactly” Penelope replied nervously, thinking it wasn’t any of their business, except Luke and hers.

“I’m sure you’ll do great, at least you were always aware that you were going to have the conversation, I never believed I had to until I got divorced” Sam interjected, regretting bringing up the subject.

“No, but that actually makes more sense to me, I mean why you decide that you’ll bring a child into a world with someone you don’t love” The alcohol started to make Emily talk way more than she intended to

JJ tried to stop her, she took her hand “Babe, stop” Emily shook her hand and ignored her suggestion.

“You were in love with your wife I assume, I understand shit happens, people get divorced all the time and have to talk about this with their kids but doing it deliberately? I can’t fucking understand it”

Luke cleared his throat “Em, with all due respect, that’s how you think but-” Emily cut him off.

“No, not only me, everyone on this table believed you were crazy for doing this” She slurred “We all thought having a kid with someone you don’t love wasn’t the brightest idea”

Penelope who had remained silent, couldn’t hold it anymore and started to speak “Ok Emily but how are you so sure we don’t love each other? I’ve known Luke for more than half of my life, he’s one of my closest friends” She took a deep breath trying not to raise her voice and continued “He has been there through the good and the bad more than any of you have, sure it’s because we’ve been practically neighbors for years but that doesn’t make it less valid, I know pretty much anything there is to know about him and I love him for who he is, I know why when we first met him he was kind of a loner, I know he’s not a great cook but he does a mean lasagna, I know he’s loyal and honest and has one of the kindest hearts ever, we have the same values, we have the same sense of humor, I know his position on just about everything and I wholeheartedly agree with him, what better man could I have possibly chose to be the father of my son? Huh? So please refrain from giving your opinion on something that’s not your business at all, Em” Luke seemed to be at loss of words, many different emotions were going through his heart, for a second he forgot why was Penelope telling all of this, because of Emily, and everyone else seemed to fade into the background, he wasn’t moving on with his life, he was deeply in love with Penelope Garcia.

“Well-” Penelope cut Savannah off

“And I know, I just know that no matter what happens in a year or two or ten, we’ll be fine, because we love each other” She finished feeling how her pulse had quickened.

Emily snorted “Alright if you say so, but let me tell you something, you seem fine now but life gets complicated, friends” She addressed the entire gang “You don’t know it yet but it does” She rushed to their bedroom and JJ goes after her not before muttering apologies to Penelope, Luke and the rest of their friends, everyone is uncomfortable and confused by Emily’s outburst.

Penelope is excited to see everyone and celebrate Luke’s birthday together, she’s rushes out of the cab to the restaurant, only to find Luke in the waiting area of the restaurant.

“Hi, happy birthday” Luke hugged her “Where’s everybody? I thought I was going to be the last one here?” She breathed out.

“Oh, it’s just us tonight” Penelope frowned but didn’t say a thing “Julian seemed really happy to be with his grandma” Luke tried to change the subject so she wouldn’t question him.

“Aw, he does love her, how’s your mom?” He took the chair out for her and then proceeded to take his sit.

“She’s doing alright, she asked me to say hi to you” He passed the message, knowing his mom wouldn’t forgive him if he forgot to do so.

“I should go and visit Elena one of these days, talking to her always lifts my spirits”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’d be thrilled to see you, she loves you, Pen” He leaned against the table and took her hand in his.

“She’s the sweetest, really” She adjusted her glasses and opened the menu “And where’s Lisa?”

“No Lisa tonight, she’s on duty” He lied, rubbing his beard.

Penelope pouted “Oh, I’m sorry, Luke” When he saw her sympathetic look he decided to cut the act.

“Don’t be, because it’s actually not true” Her face filled with confusion.

“Oh no, what happened?”

“Nothing, everything was great, she’s great” Luke looked down and felt it coming.

“Then what’s wrong?” Penelope asked with a furrowed eyebrows.

“Nothing’s wrong, I’m sure my mom would’ve loved her but…” He looked in her eyes and once again grabbed her hand “All I do when I’m with her is think about you and only you” Penelope mouth fell open, she felt the air removed from her lungs “I didn’t want her here tonight nor anyone really, I broke things off with her, I wanted my family with me and I realized you are my family” His voice broke “You and Julian are everything I need to get through life” The moment Penelope realized there were tears on his eyes, her own vision became blurry, she moved her chair to be next to him and leaned her head in his shoulder.

Next thing she knew Luke was lifting her chin and searching for her lips, she pulled away even before their lips touched “Luke, I’m with Sam”

“Oh, yeah, sorry I should allow you to talk to him before-” Penelope closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“We’re moving in together” Luke forgot how to breathe for a moment “I met his kids a few months ago and we’ve been talking about taking the next step ever since and we found a great place, I’m sorry, Luke”

He looked confused “But what about all you said that time Emily questioned us?”

Penelope look dumbfounded “I-I, it wasn’t a lie, I meant everything that I said, I love you but I-I’m not-” She took the hair out of her face “I love you so much as a friend, I thought we were on the same page, I don’t know what-” Luke let her go and got up, he needed to get out of there “Luke, wait” Before Penelope could walk to him, he was gone, and she was left there not knowing what to do of his confession.

The truth was her and Sam were in a great place, they were looking forward to start a life together, they had even discussed marriage, Julian loved him, she loved Taylor and Benji, Sam’s kids, everything seemed to fall into place with him.

The next months after that, Luke and Penelope barely spoke unless it was regarding Julian, the times where they would just spend weekends together with their son were long gone, Julian still spent a lot of time with his parents just separately, Penelope was starting to pack their stuff, she felt terrible and she wanted Luke to lash out at her, to tell her off, yell at her for taking Julian to another house, instead all Luke ever did was remain distant, she couldn’t blame him but she missed her best friend.

Penelope sighed “What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” Derek said, he had offered to help her packing the last stuff before she was out of the apartment.

“Do you think I’m making a mistake by moving in with Sam?” He frowned, not knowing exactly where that was coming from, she had seemed when she told him and Savannah the news.

“I think you should do what makes you happy, if-” Penelope didn’t let him finish his sentence.

“Do you think I should’ve given Luke and I a chance?” Derek’s eyebrows raised, he was surprised at her question.

“Why are you asking this?” Penelope bit her lip and then sat down on the floor, since there was no couch or chairs left, and proceeded to tell him what had happened a few months ago, as Derek listened he didn’t have it in him to be surprised by Luke’s feelings nor Penelope’s second guessing her decision.

“Look, baby girl” He started as he cleaned the tears falling on her cheeks “I still think you should do what makes you happy, and follow your heart, you shouldn’t do something because you feel obligated to, you know? Moving in with Sam because you already leased the house or give Luke a chance because he’s the father of your son” Derek wrapped an arm around her “There’s nothing more I want than to see you happy, whether is with Sam, Luke, only you and Jules, look, even if you wanna go back to what’s-his-name let’s go live in a farm guy?” She laughed through the tears “I want you to be happy and I’ll be there for you, ok?”

“Ok” She managed to say “Kevin, he was the one that wanted me us to go and live in a farm”

“Alright, well if you wanna go live in a farm I’m sure Julian will love all the free space to run around” They laughed and Derek kissed her forehead, hoping she’d follow his advice and go with whatever made her truly happy.

Penelope was meeting Emily for drinks, she entered the bar to see Emily already sitting there, she greeted her and they started to catch up, it had been a really long time since they last saw each other, once again, life making it complicated to hang out more often.

“So” Emily started “I don’t think I ever actually apologized about that one time” She felt embarrassed reminiscing her behaviour during that New Year’s.

“Come on, Em” Penelope waved her off “It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything”

“No, but I do, I was- we were going through a difficult time, JJ and I were going through the adoption process for Nick and we weren’t getting matched and there were a lot of setbacks, that’s why we didn’t tell any of you at the time but it was difficult for us and of course, JJ was way better than at handling everything and I just let out my frustration that time when it wasn’t my place to say anything, I was an asshole to you” Penelope placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t say that, Emily, we all snap sometimes, I’m sorry you were going through that but now you have Nick and he’s a great kid” Penelope smiled remembering the curly boy.

“I didn’t mean anything that I said, I mean, we did have our doubts but you proved it was possible to do what you did”

“Oh no, I actually think you were right, it’s a bit of a mess right now” Penelope looked away.

“I... Know, and even though the situation is not great right now, I’m sure you’ll get through it” Emily gave her a sympathetic smile and Penelope nodded “I gotta say one more thing though, I’ll never understand why you guys didn’t even try”

The blonde woman just shrugged, at that point neither did she “It’s just, we’ve been friends for half of our lives, it would’ve been, I don’t know, weird? We’ve seen each other at our worse and our best, he’s like always been there” As much as Penelope tried to convince herself it wouldn’t have worked out, she never actually did it.

“Babe, I don’t see how that’s bad” Emily commented taking a sip of her drink, her words echoed in Penelope’s head.

Luke opened the door and Julian immediately launched himself at him.

“Daddy!” He clung onto Luke’s neck while Penelope awkwardly stood there.

“Sorry I couldn’t pick him up tonight” Luke said, looking at Julian instead of her, he was still hurt but really trying to move on this time.

“Don’t worry, it’s ok” Luke expected to see her turn around and go back to her place but she remained there “I found this at my place, it’s your birthday present from last year, you never actually got it so I thought I should bring it” He saw the bag in her hands and it just reminded him of the day he had gotten his heart broken.

“Oh, Penelope, I appreciate it but I’m fine, I don’t need anything”

“Please, I insist” She offered it to him and Julian was fast take it.

“Open it, daddy!” He started to kick his legs so Luke would put him down.

“I’ll open it tomorrow, bud, it’s time for bed now” He could see Julian was not happy about it.

“NO!” Julian dropped to the floor “Open it! Open it!” The terrible twos were not a joke, he started to throw kicks and Luke kneeled to his level.

“Jules, it’s time to go to bed, come on” He grabbed him in his arms.

“Open the pwesent” Luke sighed.

“I’ll make you a deal, we open it and then you go to bed” Julian seemed to calm.

“I’m gonna get going now, good night Jules, have sweet dreams, my love” She took a step to them and leaned to kiss Julian’s head, when she was about to step away she grabbed her sweater.

“Stay!” Penelope softly took his little hand and let herself free from his grasp.

“I can’t, I gotta go, baby” Julian started to cry.

“Maybe you can stay and help us with bedtime” Luke suggested, Penelope silently agreed.

They walked towards Julian’s bedroom and Penelope felt like an outsider, it had been a long time since she had walked inside Luke’s home, once they got there, she helped Julian to put on his PJ’s while Luke watched them and untuck his bed covers.

“Pwesent!” Julian said once he was underneath his blankets, each of his parents sat on either side of the bed next to him.

Luke opened the bag and put out something that look like a binder? Photo album? ‘Luke + Jules + Pen’ was engraved on the cover, when he opened it, he saw it was a scrapbook, it had photos of him and Penelope when they first met back in college, ticket stubs of that time when Penelope was in different plays, from when all of the gang had gone to see the Yankees, Luke’s favorite baseball team, photos of them with their friends and then it was Julian’s first sonogram, photos of Penelope pregnant, photos of their baby shower, their first picture the three of them that Savannah had taken at the hospital, all of it was filled with memories.

Luke closed it abruptly, it was all too much for him “Alright, bud, it’s time for you to sleep, we’re picking up Roxy from the shelter tomorrow, remember?” A sleepy boy nodded and just when Penelope and Luke thought they had won, Julian spoke again.

“Mommy, stay!” Penelope tried her best to smile.

“I have to go to your other home, remember?” Luke noticed how Penelope’s voice faltered and decided to back her up.

“Julian, remember what I told you about your two houses? That only the most special little boys get two, so Mommy needs to go and take care of your other house”

“I want Mommy to stay!” He demanded, starting to cry again.

It took everything in Penelope not to tell him that he wanted to stay as well so she just held him and sang the lullaby Luke used to sing to him when he was a baby, it didn’t take long until he fell asleep, Penelope kissed his forehead and silently left the room with Luke behind her.

Before she could speak Luke beat her to it “Drive safe, I’ll take him to you on Sunday” He said and Penelope could only nod as she walked out of the door an to her car.

She sat there for a few minutes, not realizing tears were rolling down her cheeks, when she calmed down she started to drive home, it took her ten minutes to decide she was not going home, she made an u-turn to go back to Luke’s place.

She knocked, unsure what she was going to say but trusting it would be the right thing.

“Penelope? Did you forget something?” Luke asked, confused as to why she was back.

She walked right past him into his apartment “Remember when I asked you if you had met your person?” She said with tears in her eyes.

“Yes” He breathed out.

“We both said no” Penelope stated “Can you ask me if I’ve met my person, please?” Luke felt some sort of anger form in his chest.

“Why? So you can tell me it’s perfect Sam? I don’t under-”

“Please” She interrupted him “Please ask me”

“Have you met your person?”

“Yeah, I have, for a long time now, but I was an idiot and I didn’t realize it until just recently” She said through her sobs, Luke forgot how to breathe, playing her words over and over again “When I found your present and looked through it I realized it’s you, it has been you all along, Luke, you’re my person”

Luke didn’t waste no time and kissed her, feeling his heart being mend with every second that passed, when they pulled away, he asked “What about Sam?”

“He’s been out of the picture for months” She admitted and Luke resumed their kiss only to pull apart immediately.

“You’re my person, Penelope, always have, always will” He choked out.

“I love you, Luke” She caressed his face in her hands.

Luke closed her eyes, her words giving him a joy he didn’t knew existed “I love you too, Penelope”

“So… Can I stay?” She chuckled through her tears.

“Only if you stay forever” Luke answered and took her in his arms, planning to make up for all the lost time where he wasn’t able to show her how much he loved her.

“Home, let me come home, home is wherever I’m with you”

Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

#cmbingo20 #cmbingo #garvez #penelope garcia #luke alvez #criminal minds #luke x penelope #garcia x alvez #garvez au #garvez imagine #garvez fanfic #criminal minds imagine #criminal minds fanfic #i write things

39 notes · View notes

shmisolo · 5 years ago

Photo

I wanted to post the things I’ve made this year in one place. I haven’t posted most of them over here—largely because I’m not tumblring a lot these days. But I made a lot this year—both visual and written—that I’m proud of and wanted to share it out. You can find this post also in tweet form here!

Happy 2020, Reylo friends! It’s been a wild ride of a year, and mine couldn’t have been what it has been without you.

Visual

Oneshots

Investiture for @misscoppelia

In which Ben goes to daven for his father’s yahrtzeit and manages to prove to himself once again that he is both a terrible person and a terrible Jew.

Oh and he sort of falls in love.

baby you can drive my car for @talltig

They call them “soulmates.” Probably because it leaves less of a sting in their mouths.

The Kitchen for flypaper_brain

Rey and Ben, hunting for their first house.

alone with a heart meant for you for @nuanceismyjam

Ben orders Grubhub; Rey's car breaks down.

myosotis for @rissanox

Ben picked the flowers for their wedding.

and beyond for @lilithsaur

“Please?”

For a moment, he thinks it will be like the first time, him begging, her crying and saying no and him not knowing how to protect his crushed heart.

But she doesn’t cry, she doesn’t say, “Please don’t go this way,” she doesn’t look horrified or disgusted. She just grabs him by the front of his shirt and tugs his lips down to hers before reaching down to cup his cock.

You, Me, and He for @rissanox, @persimonne, and @misscoppelia

When they say that Kylo's brain is in his groin, they're not far from the truth.

Alternatively,

In which Kylo Ren is his own penis.

Bliss, Balance and Birth for @selunchen

Ben teaches their daughter to read.

💦💦💦💦

In which Ben accidentally implies that he gets his cardio from having sex on national television.

Favorites for @lilithsaur

In which Matt is preoccupied in getting Daisy the perfect token of his love on this, the two month anniversary of her agreeing to be his girlfriend.

A Trash Triplets AU.

Gotta Get Up, Gotta Get Out | Moodboard

“Listen asshole,” Rey says as she steps through the door of Poe’s deli. “You have exactly as long as it takes me to buy these cigarettes.”

Ben doesn’t waste a second breathing. “Metaphysically speaking, you and I are intrinsically and inexplicably linked,” he starts because there’s no time for beating around the bush and besides, Rey can sniff out a lie like no one else. “And I'm convinced our true purpose is to to connect with each other, if not help save each other's lives.” She’s opening her wallet and handing Poe a ten. “In another world, hopefully you are doing the same for me.”

The Other Thing for @persimonne

That’s what they don’t warn you about, he thinks idly. In his DesEd class, they’d warned him about knots, and heats, and ruts, and nesting. But they’d never warned him that her home would smell so much like her, like everything he’s ever wanted, that he would be unable to extricate himself.

“Can you make it a little more interesting in like...thirty minutes?” he asks her.

She pulls away and he immediately regrets saying a damn word.

“I could make that work,” she replies dryly. “I’ll pencil you in.”

A for... for @loveofescapism

Rey’s seeing double by the time there’s food on her plate. Oh. There’s food on her plate. That’s good. That’s unexpected at this point. “Eat,” Ben tells her.

So she does. It tastes good. Very good. She likes this food a lot.

“I’ll make sure she knows,” Ben says.

Oh she’s at that point of drunk where she’s just saying things out loud instead of keeping them in her internal monologue.

“You are,” Ben says, looking very amused.

She hopes she doesn’t say anything embarrassing.

“I promise, you haven’t yet, but oh boy, I’m looking forward to this.”

She shoves food into her mouth to keep herself from thinking out loud about his dick in her ass at his mother’s Passover seder.

do or do not (do the do)

In which Ben, in an effort to improve his stamina (look he's making progress, ok?) after reading some articles that he'll never be able to unread, receives some coaching (that he very much did not ask for).

(Very much did not ask for.)

(Not) Interested for @thewayofthetrashcompactor, @monsterleadmehome, @destiniesfic, yuktipatipriya

We're bringing Speed Dating back to Space Battles Bonanza! Register online for one of our special Bonanza sessions of 15 three-minute dates so you’ll no longer have to look for love in a galaxy far far away. Choose from one of seven speed dating sessions, two of which are queer focused. If the Insurgents can blow up the Doom Moon in 11 minutes, let’s see if you can make a love connection in only three.

There’s a history of successful Speed Dating at Space Battles Bonanzas, with long-term couples, engagements and marriages now among the alumni.

In which Rey & Kylo meet at their fancon's speed dating.

Never Die for @avamarga

Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you.

Forged for @reyloner

There are several reasons that Ben would never have dreamed he’d ever receive this text. The first is that he’d be invited to a Halloween party. The second is that he’d never in his life expected to be in a serious relationship, much less the sort of serious relationship where his partner would suggest matching Halloween costumes. And the last is that he is dating someone who’s show only and they’ve only almost murdered one another twice. Because he’s an A Song of Ice and Fire fan. He hates Game of Thrones.

and getting caught in the rain for @kylorenvevo

What's the point of going to a family wedding if you're not going to hook up with your newly rediscovered brother's baseball coach?

A Picture's Worth for @selunchen

reyjay: hiya your art is amazing

reyjay: it’s a big ask but could you draw me for my art final tomorrow? i’m shit at drawing people and i can’t fail this. can you help?

He stares.

And stares.

kyloren: is this some kind of a joke?

reyjay: no?? why??

kyloren: you’re asking me to help you cheat your exam, but you’re not even offering me money?

Bang for your Buck

“We ready?” he asks her, sounding huffy.

“Nice to meet you Ben, I’m just familiarizing myself with your training,” she replies.

“Ok, well I don’t have all day.”

“No, you have,” she checks her watch, “another hour.” Because of course he’d booked an extra long session. Bless that sweet, sweet overtime pay.

“And you’re sure you know what you’re doing?” he asks her and she glances up at him, sure that her eyes are flashing because that’s fucking rude. She’s a professional. Amilyn wouldn’t have hired her if she didn’t know what she’s doing, and just because he apparently thinks he’s the center of the universe doesn’t change that fact.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get your bang for your buck,” she tells him icily.

Two to Tango

Rey: I need to ask you something awkward. Ben: What’s up? Rey: Can I give you a blowjob? Please?

atlanta > all atlanta > community > missed connections for @sand-its-everywhere

In which Rey meets a cosplayer at DragonCon.

Sonsick (I'll fall for you soon enough) for @jeenonamit & YTCShepard

Sheev and Snoke share a moment at the country club.

A Thousand Words for @monsterleadmehome | Moodboard

In which, some years later, Ben encounters someone he drew for nudes.

Truth and Death written for this year’s @reylofanfictionanthology

Ben opens the box. Inside, he sees the charred remains of a helmet.

------------

She is made of sand-turned-clay, where other moving creatures are made of flesh and blood. Their skin cracks in the dry Jakku sun just like hers, but they are alive in their organs.

Rey is alive in a different way.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year written with @jeenonamit | Moodboard

Rey convinces Ben--and his sentient penis--to go with her to a Halloween party.

What could go wrong?

(Working title: "Dicklo 2: Electric BOO-galoo")

Shalom Rav! for @jeenonamit | Moodboard

In which Rey comes to terms realizing that she is attracted to the rabbi.

when the stars and moon align just so for @capaldisrighteyebrow

Songs spoke of red stars on nights that blood was shed. Stars bled too when the great fell. There were no red stars tonight. The stars did not bleed for Snoke.

Would they bleed for Ben?

She swallowed.

Because despite his own words—that he served his master (master, as though he were a draft horse to be yoked and plow the fields of men), that he would give everything to his master, she had seen doubt in his eyes that night, three years ago, when the stars and moon had aligned just so.

oh, my love, don't forsake me (take what the water gave me) for @reyloner and @loveofescapism

Their sabers clashed, humming in the spray, and Rey's heart was in her throat the entire time.

it’s you and me (i know it’s our destiny) | Moodboard

It’s just a kid’s game, he thinks when jealousy pangs in his heart. But it’s more than just a kid’s game.

It’s Pokémon.

It’s the only good thing in his life.

will you come when i call you (i’ll come when you call me) | Moodboard

Surely when Snoke had connected them, he hadn’t connected them like this.

—

@reylo_prompts: “Due to the Force bond Rey and Ben always come simultaneously. Now they need to figure out how not to do that since it can result in awkward situations.”

The Sweater Curse for @jeenonamit & @commandercrouton

She’s never made a sweater before, but she saw the pattern on Ravelry and who cares if she’s only made (lumpy) hats before—she has to try it. She has to make it. She has to make it for Ben.

“You realize that Hannukah isn’t an important holiday, right?” Ben asks as she makes eye contact with him. His eyes are big and brown and—at this moment—mildly annoyed.

“Really? Is it a giant conspiracy theory? Part of the war on Christmas?”

“More than you realize,” Ben says and for the life of her she can’t tell if he’s joking. He does this thing sometimes that’s confusing—where he’ll say something that sounds mopey but is actually snarky and it disarms her every damn time. “In any event, ugly Hanukkah sweaters definitely aren’t a thing the way ugly Christmas sweaters are.”

“Well, they are now,” Rey says firmly. “I’m making you an ugly Hanukkah sweater. Deal with it. And stop moving.”

Ours Is The Fury for @reyloner & @commandercrouton

Rey was tasked with taking Storm's End for her king. She defeated the Storm King Snoke in the Rainwood, but when she proceeded to the castle itself, preparing for a long siege, things did not go to plan.

Seen ✔️✔️ for @ever-so-reylo | Graphic

His lock screen has three texts from Rey on it:

Rey Wife: Babe I know you’re probably busy right now, but you sent that pic to the wrong chat. Rey Wife: Bennnnnnn Rey Wife: Call me when you’re done processing your trauma.

And then about ninety chats from the Skywalker Ranch WhatsApp thread.

In which Ben sends a picture to the wrong chat.

With you, Always for @jeenonamit, @nuanceismyjam, and YTCShepard

Rey's boyfriend is now a Force ghost but they're sure as fuck gonna try fucking anyway.

Chaptered Fics

we decided not to kill the wolves (we wanted to be wolves) for @nerdherderette | Complete | Moodboard

A pack of wolves lives in the woods to the north of Raddus and as winter looms, they have their eyes set on Leia Organa’s stronghold. Rey may be new to Raddus, but she’s not about to do nothing while it may be in danger. And besides, Poe must be exaggerating about wolves the size of bears. She’s not afraid of monsters.

Carry In My Core (That Voice I Adore) | Complete | Moodboards

Starring in her first opera would be stressful as is, but Rey, always one to outdo herself, just had to go and make things even more complicated with Kylo Ren. It’s hard enough looking him in the eye, much less pretending to be in love with him. She can make it through this. She has made it through worse. She can make it through this.

shadow boxes | Complete

Just because they aren’t together, doesn’t mean they’re not in love.

anyway you want to (anyway you've got to) | Complete

But you know she's getting something other Than the love from her mother

A Porn Challenge in which your author makes Rey and Ben bone their way through the month of February.

words like tomorrow (or future, or fate) for @haloren1st & @staticcatfish | Complete

One day, Rey wakes in a body that's not her own in a town she's never been to before. Who is Ben, whose body she seems to be possessing, and who woke up in her body? Why are they connected this way?

---

A Your name. AU.

Above us, stars. Beneath us, constellations. for @valsansretour | Complete | Moodboard

Ben woke, but Luke’s saber wasn’t ignited. Instead, he saw a master who had shattered his trust, who thought he was a monster, and—worse—he was probably right.

So he fled Yavin IV, to Skywalker’s dismay, and no one heard from him since.

Years later, on a wasteland planet, a girl and a fugitive stormtrooper board a Corellian YT-1300 light freighter in desperation to find they are not the only ones trying to steal it.

Why Don’t You And I Combine for @ever-so-reylo | Complete | Moodboard

Rey’s phone rings while she’s at the farmer’s market. She lets it ring. They have a line and it’s only a few hours, and the girls are at school and it’s just her today, so she doesn’t have enough hands. Rose and Finn and Poe are helping Ben move furniture out of his apartment and into the house. They’re probably calling about something silly, or Ben’s calling to say he’s fully moved in and he’s lying in their bed—possibly with his hand on his cock—and that he’s thinking of her.

—

In which life continues, grows, and Rey and Ben continue to rebuild their relationship.

A sequel to Let’s Get Together.

The Love Committee for @jeenonamit | Complete | Moodboard

In which Rey, tired of her bad luck with dating apps and failed relationships, enlists her friends' help in determining who she should date next.

They take it a little too seriously.

A Year of Me and You for autonomee | Complete

“After you move in with one another, give yourself six months to like one another again,” Maz says, looking at Rey seriously through her bottlecap glasses.

“I’m not going to fall out of love with—”

“No, no. Not love. Love’s not got anything to do with it, child. Like.”

Non-linear vignettes of various length, set during the first year Rey and Ben live together.

Hanging by a Moment for pillar-of-salt | Complete | Mix

There are many things that Ben could have tolerated about his parents’ divorce. That his mother had finally had it with his father’s borderline illegal—or rather, as he liked to put it, borderline legal—company, the shady activities it covered that would doubtlessly end her political career if a reporter got hold of them; that his father had finally had it with the way his mother nags, because sure, he’d thought it was hot twenty years ago, but he is in fact an adult who can actually keep his shit together—all that he would have gotten. He’d have been wrecked, but he’d have gotten it.

His dad leaving his mom for a nineteen-year-old gold-digger though, and his mother not even putting up a fight—that had caught him by surprise.

That had hurt.

Be nice to her, Ben, his mother had said on the phone when he’d spoken to her for the first time in five years. She just lost your father.

Yeah. So did I.

Cupcake Wars | Complete | Fingerpainting + Playlist

Entirely by accident, Rey ends up fucking someone who works for Snoke's Cupcakery. She's just blowing off steam. It doesn't mean anything at all. It certainly won't come back to bite her in the ass.

in nobody's eyes but mine for @ever-so-reylo | Complete | Moodboard

Rey had spent too much of her life feeling as though permanence could only be transient so why bother with it. What was long-term? What was mating? What was home?

the water won’t have ya if the devil’s too blind for @thekesselrun | Complete | Moodboard

That water’s too dirty to wash away your sins.

“They’re not sins. I didn’t commit them against god. There is no such thing as god.”

Then whatever you want to call them. Crimes don’t get washed away by a river.

“It’s a cursed river,” Ben points out.

No, it’s a polluted river. Curses aren’t real. Not like that, anyway.

“Are you really well-actually-ing me?”

Yes, I am. Because you’re an idiot. Some extremely oily and not remotely potable water is not going to be able to remove the guilt you feel about killing your father, turning your back on your mother, murdering hundreds of innocents, and helping the First Order destroy the world. Especially when you knew I wasn’t going to let you die.

–

In which Ben Solo washes up on shore, very still alive and unsure of what to do next until a passing scavenger offers him a lift on her boat. Who is he now? Who does he want to be?

Apples & Honey for @peaceblessingspeyton | Complete | Moodboard

When Ben catches wind that his mother is planning to foist a potential girlfriend on him when he comes home for Rosh Hashanah, he takes matters into his own hands: specifically, he runs to Rey and asks her to pretend to be his girlfriend.

There Is Another for @kylorenvevo | Complete | Moodboards: Ch 1 | Ch 3 | Ch 7 | Ch 9 | Ch 11 | Ch14

“Mission success?”

“You will be interested in this.”

“Oh?”

Kylo glances back over his shoulder. The girl he had found on Takodana is still deeply unconscious, and will remain so for a long while. He had knocked her out as deeply as he could. She had fired at him the moment she’d seen him, resisted him tooth and nail. He does not want her waking up until he has her properly restrained, and he had not come to Takodana prepared to take any prisoners.

A shiver runs up his spine as he tries to shove away how it had felt, carrying her through that forest.

“Yes.”

“How so?”

The trouble with helmets is he can’t look Kira dead in the eye anymore. He can’t watch her face closely to see what will happen when he tells her,

“She’s you.”

Dear Mr. President | WIP | Moodboards: Ch13

Dr. Dameron shifts and slides a manilla folder across the desk to her. “Under ordinary circumstances, I’d let you keep the folder. I hope you’ll understand why I can’t do that this time around.”

She opens it and stares.

She stares and stares and stares.

Dr. Dameron has to be kidding. There have to be hidden cameras here, this has to be some elaborate prank. That’s why it’s him here and not Dr. Wexley—that was his name. Dr. Wexley.

But instead of getting to her feet and tossing her hair and saying he was cruel for playing with her heart like this, all she does is ask, blankly, “So...Ben Solo is my soulmate? Our new president is my…”

She swallows.

And Dr. Dameron nods.

so long lives this and this gives life to thee | WIP | Moodboard

His smile fades and he falls to the ground, his head hitting the ground with a sharp crack.

“Ben!” The yell echoes around them in the darkness and Rey lurches forward, her hands scrabbling over his face, his neck, trying to find a pulse.

She bursts into tears when she finds it. She doesn’t know why she’s crying. He’s alive.

———

In which Ben's Force Sensitivity—and not his life—was given to save Rey.

a little death (goes a long way) for @talltig | WIP | Moodboard

“That’s good of you,” he replies. “Especially with the O-Negative.”

“It’s a good deal,” she says and he glances up. Yeah, because Omega blood is harder to find. A taste of life, because they almost never survive the turn.

#reylo #reylo fanfic #reylo fic #rffa writers #year in review

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jungnoir · 5 years ago

Note

could i request “s/he’s beautiful. i hope s/he makes you happy.” with lucas please and thank you!

like the kind of movie we used to hate;

wong yukhei | “he’s [great]. I hope he makes you happy.” ex!au. | 1.7k words. | angst.

a/n: I LOVE g.soul/golden, and he recently released this song which fits this so well. funnily enough, I started writing this before I heard it and I realized how well it worked, so here you go!

Were you satisfied with the martyr Yukhei made of himself for you?

There was a good enough chance the invitation ended up in his mailbox by mistake, or perhaps it was just a ploy to get him to send money in lieu of attending (money which he didn’t really have the heart to be giving out, rough times and all that), but whatever the reason behind the palpable surprise on your face, he was here. Wong Yukhei, the boy you’d fallen in love with before he’d fallen in love with you, not the boy who was still in love with you after you’d fallen out of love with him.

He jokes around with your mutual friends, most of them surprisingly paired up and two-by-two leaving early to be mushy in private, and he grins all toothy when you and your new fiancé stand at the head of the table to thank everyone for coming to the celebration dinner. He swallows down the expensive steak you both were paying for even though he hadn’t had a real appetite since he’d decided he would come, chasing it down with even more expensive red wine. He hoped he was reminding you of the person you almost married.

By the end of the night, he’s completely exhausted himself and knows he needs to go soon, so he announces his departure loudly to the table, earning a chorus of complaints and pleas for him to stay, and then he rounds around to you and your soon-to-be and gives you both quick, friendly hugs. He hugs you first, just to get it out of the way, trying not to nuzzle into your neck like he used to, and then he’s on his way to the men’s room to relieve himself of all that “rich ass grape juice”. That earns another round of laughs fit for a completely inconspicuous exit.

Then he’s leaning over the sink with cold water running off his face in rivets to wake himself up from this ugly dream.

This was so much - way too much - and why was he so stupid as to actually come? Was it his pride, wary of being wounded by the possibility of you taking his absence as submission? Maybe it was his friends who all pressured him to “get the closure he needed”, probably because he might not get an accidental invitation to the wedding. Perhaps it was both, or the unshakeable need to see you in person again.

He saw you online, of course. You both agreed to be friends and so he saw the Insta posts of you and your fiancé cuddling at his place before he muted your account. He also got the obligatory “Happy birthday!” “Merry Christmas!” and “Happy New Year!” texts you copy and pasted to everyone, of which he replied to hours too late under the guise of having been too busy to see when you’d sent it. That was it. He missed being able to look you in the eyes, and yet he barely did any of that tonight.

Someone enters the restroom and he immediately straightens up, grabbing a few paper towels to dab his face dry as he cracks a heartless joke, “Must be more of a lightweight on the good stuff than I thought.” The guy gives him a good-hearted chuckle and goes about his business. Yeah, this isn’t the place to have a fucking breakdown, Yukhei.

Gathering himself together, he tosses his trash and checks himself over once more. The collared shirt he wears feels so stiff on him and he just can’t wait to pull it off on the car ride home, so he pops open a few buttons at the top in hopes it’ll help him breathe a bit better. His eyes are just tinged a little red, but it’ll be fine. He can take the back exit out.

Just as Yukhei is leaving the restroom, he is startled to see someone in his way. He immediately apologizes for the close collision, not thinking anything of it with his gaze set on the exit.

“Yukhei?”

Oh god, he hates how quickly he looks back at you.

You’re standing there, hands wringing each other as you smile up at him albeit half-heartedly, “Sorry, you were about to leave. I won’t keep you.”

The stupid part of him that misses hearing your voice is what keeps him standing there, shaking his head and smiling gently at you. He shoves his hands into his pants lackadaisically, shrugging, “I’m not in too much of a hurry. Called an Uber. I’d just be waiting outside in the cold until then.” He’d ordered one twenty minutes before he’d even worked up the courage to say his goodbyes.

Your eyes widen a little and you nod, “Oh! You know, we were just about to leave. I’m sure we could drop you off at home. There’s no need to waste the money.”

Riding in the back of your fiancé’s sedan? He’d rather choke. “Nah, it’s ok. I’m… I’m actually headed somewhere else, so I wouldn’t wanna trouble you.”

“A party?” You inquire. You’re still wringing your hands.

“A friend’s place, actually.” He lazily smirks and hopes that you don’t ask who so he won’t have to make the lie any more intricate.

There’s a slight dimming in your eyes when he says that. It’s so potent, the look on you that says you’re aching to ask, but you think better of it because you clamp your lips together in a tight-lipped smile. Tonight might be too much, but you weren’t looking to make it any more than it already was. “Ah. Got you. I hope you get there safely, then. Make sure you check the license plate before you get in and let m- your friend know who you’re riding with. It’s dangerous.”

How familiar a worry this was for you. He recalled a time when you were telling him to do such a thing with you. Apparently, you did too.

“’course. I’ll be good. You two get home safely too, okay? Don’t get handsy behind the wheel.” Yukhei hopes that his joke is both the right amount of detached and friendly as he can muster right now. He’s got just enough energy to keep this up for a few more minutes.

You look a little scandalized, but humor him with a laugh, “Yeah, you know how I get on a few drinks.”

Rolling his lips inward to wet them, Yukhei gives you a nod and a hum, turning his body toward the exit. He just hopes that your fiancé won’t come over to collect you, put his hands on your waist, whisper in your ear and bask in the triumphant glow of being the one who you decided to marry. He doesn’t have that much energy.

You must become aware that he’s becoming disinterested in the subject matter, because you quickly start talking again, “Hey, um, I hope tonight was alright… I didn’t want to leave you out of this, you know? You… I love you, you know? I wanted you to be here, and I’d like you to be at the wedding too, but I don’t want… I think I made you uncomfortable.”

Oh, you thought that much? Perhaps you weren’t as heartless as he’d initially thought that day he’d received the invitation.

Truthfully, there was a lot he could say right now. He was sure most of it you’d hate to hear but would feel so good coming off his chest. He was also sure most of it would get him kicked out for causing a scene, to which… well, as his patience wanes, he isn’t sure he’ll give much of a shit about. Most of it was for his phone, tucked away in notes that no one would ever read and that he’d hopefully be able to delete one day.

It’s just… this one bit that slips out anyway. “I was surprised… but I’m glad you wanted me here. I… um,” a pained laugh escapes him, “I think you got a good thing going here, sweetness. He’s great. I hope he makes you happy. I promise I’m good. Missed seeing you is all.” His eyes are burning again, fuck. He really needs to get out of here.

“Oh, okay,” you whisper, having the gall to look conflicted over it for a moment, “yeah, I missed seeing you too. Seeing you and our friends tonight again reminded me of old times. I just realized how much I missed that, and how much I want it back. I’d like for us all to do something like this again sometime, maybe without… my fiancé.” Laughing, you shrug your shoulders. At the same time, the same guy from before walks out of the men’s room, nearly bumping into you. Yukhei’s hand leaves his pocket in hopes of pulling you out of the way, perhaps to him, but the man catches himself in time.

“Oops, sorry.” The guy laughs towards you and then, finally noticing Yukhei there probably looking a right disaster, raises his brows and quickly excuses himself.

To his great relief, Yukhei’s phone beeps in his pocket and he quickly fishes it out, practically crying at the sight of the arrival notification. He looks up at you and gives you a quick smile, “Yeah! How about you text me about it later? I’d love to catch up more. My ride’s here though, so I gotta go.”

Sighing, you nod, “For sure! See you later, Yukhei! Be safe.”

He mutters something of a response to that as he quickly pushes his way out of the exit, waving over his shoulder and jogging his way to the front where his ride awaits. With everything sorted, he climbs in the back and breathes the biggest sigh of relief of the night when the car pulls off. He’s even more relieved that his driver isn’t talkative, playing a low indie song over the speakers that thankfully drowns out his attempts at concealing his sniffling. If his driver can hear, he doesn’t mention it.

But it’s just the first night. If you weren’t pulling his leg, there’d be plenty more, and with each one, seeing you would get easier. Post-breakup friendships suck, but it’ll come with time. You’ve moved on already, he’ll follow along soon enough. Eventually, he’d stop hating everything. This was just the first night.

#lucas scenarios #yukhei scenarios #lucas imagines #yukhei imagines #lucas #wong yukhei #nct scenarios #wayv scenarios #nct imagines #wayv imagines #nct #wayv #majwrites #sbmusings

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kweebtrash · 6 years ago

Text

Or Nah (M)

Messy Ch. 2

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny (features other members)

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: drugs, anxiety attacks, night terrors

Features: POV changes, bathroom/rough sex, fingering, blowjobs

Word Count: around 14k

A/N: ‘they’ and ‘she’ are used interchangeably on purpose.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

Lucas Pov

My phone was vibrating against the glass top of the coffee table ripping me out of sleep. The incessant buzzing was driving me crazy especially since my head was still fuzzy from last night. I barely remember getting home...well to Quinn and Eri's place anyway. I groaned and slammed my hand on the table feeling around until my phone was in hand. I squinted an eye open, peeking at the influx of messages that continued to scroll about my screen. I opened the messenger app and read through the dozens of texts. Johnny had added me to the group chat shortly after I met him and Jaehyun during ‘Welcome Weekend’. It was how i had found out about their party and now it was how I found out that Eri had hooked up with Johnny. He was supposedly the “king of of one night stands” and Eri was just another one to be added to his list. Or that was how it would all start out. Clearly, Ten and Yuta had met their match once they started playing with her. I wouldnt be surprised if Johnny started drooling over her too.

There was something about Eri. I still hadn’t quite figured it out myself. She was far from my type-which is why I first got with Quinn. Quinn was soft, small, pale blonde and a little ditzy- perfect. Eri on the other hand was raw, loud, obnoxious, and volatile. Dominant yet bratty, needing to be in control of everything and the first to protect if needed. She always ended up “momming” Quinn and I no matter what. She was also gorgeous in a way I didn't often see back home- tattoos everywhere, her hair a mish mash of colors, her skin deep, rich and intoxicatingly sweet. She had managed to seduce every last one of us. We were putty in her hands. Eri and I were only friends but i would be lying if I failed to admit that there were times where all i thought about was being between her legs for days on end.

I sighed and finally sat up, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I tossed my two cents into the group conversation and yawned deeply. The smell of something cooking caught my attention and i realized I was fucking starving. I looked over at the small kitchen and saw Eri standing in front of the stove in nothing but her underwear and a little ass tank top, looking like i should eat her for breakfast instead. I adjusted myself on the couch and opened my camera, zooming in close to get the best view. I grabbed a pic and sent it to the chat. They would all be jealous of me getting to see this first thing in the morning-afternoon….whatever.. “Babeeeeessss, whatcha making me?”

“I had some pancake mix in the back of the fridge that was still good so there's that. There’s also some left over pizza. Breakfast of champions.”

“You look like a hot little wifey cooking for me. Just saying.”

“You know what you could say? Nothing.” She came towards me with the plate of food. “Here.”

My camera was still open so i faced it towards us under the guise of taking a selfie but i turned my head towards her, just as i hit the button, giving her a kiss. I posted it to the group chat too just to see if i could piss Johnny off. “How's your vag?” I asked Eri as i sent the picture.

“I survived I guess. My thighs still fucking hurt.” I moved my legs so she could sit on the couch beside me.

“Was he better than me?” I asked just out of curiosity.

“Lucas, you know I dont compare anyone. But he didn’t go down on me so he's already losing, just saying.”

I picked up one of the pancakes and shoved it in my mouth. “Fuckin’ pussy.”

“Dont talk with your mouth full. You're gonna choke.” She grabbed her PS4 controller and turned on the console as well as the tv. She flipped through the apps pulling up Netflix. “You wanna watch something? Quinn said they'd be coming home soon but i don't know how true that is.”

“Heard she was at T.Y.’s place.” I replied in between chewing and shoving another pancake in my mouth.

“Yep. Fucking him this time, i guess.”

I swallowed and shrugged. “I'll ask her to take a shower before we fuck.”

“How gentlemanly of you, Lucas.” She scoffed and started typing in the name of whatever show she wanted to watch. I noticed the hickies that were covering her dark skin, blending in with the tattoos on her back and shoulders.

“Damn, he did a number on you.” I said leaning in closer to her and running my fingers along the bruises. She winced a bit and tugged away from me.

“It's fine. I've had worse.”

“Yeah like when Ten accidentally cut you so deep you had to get stitches and Quinn wanted to deck him.”

She inhaled sharply. “Not one of our best moments. I squirmed by accident so I guess it was my fault.”

“Or he could’ve not hurt you.” I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand before kissing her shoulder.

“Eh. Whats the fun in that?”

I kissed up her neck, resisting the urge to bite her and make my marks better than Johnny's. “I make you cum just fine without hurting you.”

“Question.” She said, turning to me. “Do you like choking me?”

“What? Uh...i mean...it gets you off right?”

“Yeah, but do you like it?”

I scratched at the back of my neck. “I mean….”

She sighed. “Nevermind.”

“Aww, Eri, don't be mad. I dont mind doing it for you!”

“It's fine. Im not mad.” She curled up against my chest, wrapping her arm around my waist, and setting her legs on my lap.

I rubbed her thighs slowly, going up and down the length of them and paying extra attention to her hips. “Did you try and get him to do it?”

“Yeah, well sorta. I didnt say it outright but i kinda hinted at it. He pulled his hand away like he didnt want to touch me.”

“Not for nothing Eri but you’re like the only chick who's like ‘CHOKE ME’ during the first fuck. It can be kinda scary and not everyone's into that.”

“Fuckin’ wack is what that is.” She laughed.

“Maybe he'll do it next time.”

“Next time?” She scoffed. “I doubt there’s gonna be a next time.”

“You'd be surprised.” I kissed the top of her head and kept her close, kind of wondering if I should ask her if she wanted to fuck. It was too much work to do anal right now but maybe she'd at least want it slow. I could do that. I slipped my fingers underneath the strap of her tank top moving it down her shoulder.

“Lucas.”

I hated when she said my name like that. It was like i was in trouble with my mom. I kept rubbing small circles on her thigh, pretending like i wasn’t doing anything. “Hmm? What?”

“Cut it out.” She was always much stricter with how much we fucked, unlike Quinn. Eri was picky and everything had to be on her terms, which was why i always got reprimanded. I knew she still couldn’t resist me, especially when i gave her my puppy dog look.

“I swear i'm not doing anything!”

She rolled her eyes and pushed away from me. “Not right now.” She got up from the couch and headed back towards the kitchen. I stuffed the last pancake in my mouth and followed after her.

“Come on! I'll go slow! It wont even hurt. You know i take good care of you.” I chewed faster and swallowed hard before she yelled at me again.

“My thighs are killing me. I don’t even think i have the strength to open them for you to eat me out.”

“Well...you wanna at least suck me off?” She glared at me so hard that I stepped back in case her fist wanted to connect with my stomach. She was always an aggressive lover. “S-sorry…”

“You'd probably taste like pool water and sweat. No thanks.”

“Ok, you can pull one of my numbers and ask me to shower before hand. It's just...you know how i get in the morning, babes.” i pouted at her, starting my puppy dog stare.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know i hate that.”

“Pretty please? Pleaaassseeeeeee.”

She set her little hand on my face, smooshing me away. “I dont have time. I have band practice tonight and it starts soon.”

“Just a quick one i promise!! I'll be done fast!”

She groaned. “Lucas, seriously??” She rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Fine! FINE! I don’t know how you always convince me.”

“Because you can’t resist me, that's why.” I gave her a quick kiss before running towards the bathroom to shower. Honestly, i should probably bring my shower stuff to their house at some point so I could stop smelling like vanilla, and cookies, and marigolds or whatever they used. I chucked off my shorts, tossing them in the corner where Eri could get them and do the laundry for me later. I grabbed my toothbrush and slapped some toothpaste on it before getting in the shower. I turned it on full blast, preferring a cold shower than the usual depths of hell i had to suffer through when i showered with Eri or Quinn.

“Some random person added me on snapchat! Do you know a DJJ0209?!” i heard her yell at me. I almost choked on my toothbrush. I hoped the running water hid the sound of my laughter.

“Oh...no! I dont! Did you add them?!” i called back out to her before spitting toothpaste down the drain.

I could tell she was responding but i had no idea what it was. It was hard to hear her now with my head fully under the water. Hopefully it wasnt too important. I finished brushing my teeth and moved onto washing my hair, trying to get chlorine smell out of it.

“Did you hear me earlier?” her voice appeared from inside the bathroom.

“No, all i heard was someone random added you on snapchat. Who was it?”

“I have no clue. Probs some weirdo from online. I'm just gonna block it.”

“No,” i tried to keep a straight face even though she couldn’t see me behind the curtain. “Just accept it. I'm sure it's fine.”

“What the hell!? I got another one….wait this one has a little character thing. Kinda looks like Taeil…”

“Just accept them both. Who knows maybe you'll find the love of your life.” I snorted.

“Hmm yes how romantic. Mommy, daddy, How did you meet? Well son, your father sent me a dick pic on snapchat and I was so in love we instantly got married.”

“Aww, you're like a real life Cinderella.”

She hit the shower curtain, trying to get at me. “Shut up, dumbass. I have to leave here by 6, and it's a little after 4:30 now.”

“I'm coming! You wont be late.”

“Mhm.” I could hear her walking back out of the bathroom. I finished rinsing my hair and washed up quickly. I was done in a few minutes, pulling back the shower curtain to see that Eri had left a fresh towel on the toilet. She was seriously the best. I dried off a bit then wrapped the towel around my waist, heading back over to the couch. She was laying on her stomach, feet crossed at her ankles in the air and typing furiously on her phone. I leaned over the back of the couch and trailed my hand over her lower back, watching her tense for a second. She was way warmer than my hands were. I couldn’t help but wish I could play with her a bit before she left.

“You're freezing.” She said as she set her phone beside mine on the coffee table.

“It's too hot. I felt sticky.” i moved around the couch, taking my place beside her again. She scooted closer to me, her hand tugging at the towel and pulling it open.

“Let’s get this over with.” She said.

“Gee, dont sound so enthused.” I rolled my eyes as she giggled at me. In a way i knew she was joking but also she was probably ready to get going to band practice. It was important to her but so was i. She would make time for me. I cupped her face in my hands, pulling her close for a heated kiss while her hand fell between my thighs and groped my cock. I licked her lips before she let me in, my tongue filling up her mouth and making her squirm a bit. I loved the way it felt when we kissed. She was always a tease, hungry yet slow, or fast and harsh. You never knew what you were going to get. Whenever i could get a soft little moan out of her, it would go straight to my cock, making me breathe harder and want to fuck her for hours on end just to coax more out.

I slid my hand down her back, moving down to cup her ass. It was one of my favorite things about her. There was nothing better then seeing how good it looked while i fucked her from behind, better yet when i fucked her ass. I tried pulling her onto my lap but she let out a strained whimper.

“Careful…” She whispered. Ok, note to self, beat the shit out of Johnny next time i saw him for making my Eri so sore. I let go of her ass and opted for her hip again while my other hand slid under her tank top. I was already half hard, giving her some room to start stroking. I opened my legs wider as she rubbed her thumb over my head in slow circles making every nerve feel electrified. I was already wiggling my hips towards her palm, parting my lips to feed a deep groan down her throat. She already knew everything i loved, everything that turned me on, everything that could make me cum. She guided her kisses to my neck, sucking on my jugular just a bit before pressing her lips down my chest.

I relaxed my head back against the couch, my nails digging into the armrest when i felt her lips surrounding me. She eased herself down, little by little, stroking what she couldn't fit in her mouth. Her tongue circled around my head and she popped off it completely to kiss up and down my shaft. Her kisses slipped down to my balls, tongueing them just enough to make me almost lose my cool. I thrusted my hips more as i tried to get her to take me back in. She looked up at me, that same controlling look in her eye.

“You gonna behave?” She asked, raising a brow.

I licked my lips and looked at at her. “Are you?”

She sat up and pulled away from me. “I'll stop right now, Lucas. I swear.”

“No you wont.” I dared.

She scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh really?”

“Mhm.” i moved closer towards her, angling my head for a kiss which I knew she would pull away from. In that instant i grabbed her neck making it disappear in the coverage of my hand. Her whole body relaxed and her face fell into an expression of bliss. Her eyes were practically rolling back in her head as her giddy giggles became strained when i closed my fingers around her tighter. It was scary as all hell to do this and it wasn’t necessarily something I enjoyed but seeing how good it made her feel got me going even more. Over time i got used to it, especially when she'd clench around me and scratch at my back, her body begging me to choke her harder. “Keep sucking, babes. It feels so good when I'm in your mouth.” i swiped my thumb over her full bottom lip, watching as her tongue poked out to lick it.

I let her go then and she eased back down, sucking faster this time. Her cheeks were starting to hollow out dragging more moans out of me. I set my hand on the back of her head, adding just enough pressure to keep her in place. I trailed my other hand down her back, sliding one of my fingers underneath her panties to feel how wet she was. She was trying to squirm away from from me but i let my finger slide slowly up and down her lower lips, rubbing each drop of slick through her folds and around her clit. I shushed her gently, telling her that i just wanted to make her feel good. I loved when she came with me and i was hoping she would swallow if i had her distracted enough.

I made circles on her bundle of nerves with just the tip of my middle finger, finally managing to get a louder moan out of her. The timbre from those cute sounds were enough to make my toes curl. I choked back her name, opting to keep quiet for now so I could concentrate. Her warm hand cupped my balls then, squeezing each one slightly as her thumb pressed into the sensitive points. I was already starting to throb in her tight mouth and it was making my nails dig into her scalp harder. I felt her wiggle her hips, reminding me that my finger was still in her panties. I rocked my finger through her wetness one last time before pushing it in slowly. I let her fuck herself on it as much as she wanted, leaving her to control the pace while i focused on my impending orgasm. “Eri...fuck…” i whispered.

She pulled off in one slow drag, rolling my precum over her tongue. “You know the drill.”

I groaned. “Please, Eri? Please? Just this once? I promise i’ll-”

“No. You know the rules.”

“But Quinn-”

“Then you should've asked Quinn.” she snapped back.

I dodged her glare and nodded in defeat. One day I was going to get her to swallow but for now i guess i had to cum on myself….again. She switched out her mouth with her hand, fisting the head of my cock before sliding down my shaft and giving it a squeeze. Cum was already starting to dribble down her hand as her hold on me tightened and loosened with each stroke. She pressed her chest to mine, bringing my head closer to cover her neck in kisses and miniscule bites. Her nails were digging into shoulder ever so slightly and her angry, commanding tone melted into that dangerously sweet voice.

“Come on, baby boy. Cum for me.” she cooed.

I held onto her then, so fucking tight, trying to bury my scream into her skin. I felt my stomach heat up as i came all over myself, my thigh muscles tensing. I swallowed back, panting against her chest as i worked through the tail end of my high. She kissed the top of my head, running her fingers through my hair, until I regained my composure.

“I gotta get dressed now.” She said, wiping her hand on the towel. I slid my hand out of her panties and groaned as i looked up at her.

“Stay for a bit…”

“I cant, its’ already about to be five. Quinn's gonna be home soon and you should actually get to your dorm sometime soon. You have class tomorrow.”

“Fuck class…”

“If you skip i'm gonna beat your ass.” She slid off the couch and headed to her room. She didn’t bother closing the door as she pulled her tank top over her head and dropped her panties. I had to look away, knowing i would make a bigger mess if i kept staring.

Eri's PoV

I shoved open the apartment door, kicking off my boots that were starting to dig into my feet. It felt so good to be home instead of a tiny garage sweating my ass off. I lugged my guitar and amp back to my room trying to ignore the loud moans coming from Quinn's room. I set my instrument down in the little sacred corner I set up where it wouldn't be disturbed, making sure to keep my cords wrapped up. Now that I was finally in the semi-peacefulness of my room I could take off the clothes that seemed to be glued to me. I pulled off my shorts, taking my phone out of my back pocket. I hadn’t checked it in hours and i could see the screen full of notifications. One caught my eye in particular. I clicked on the little bell which opened up my snapchat. There was one photo notification from the username i didnt recognize from this afternoon. I was going to scream if it was a dick pic. I dont even know why i thought it was a good idea to listen to Lucas and accept the request.

I braced myself as i clicked on it, waiting for the worse, even closing my eyes a bit. But it wasn’t bad. In fact...it was just Johnny. Johnny?? I gripped my phone tighter, pulling it closer to my face to examine the cute puppy filter on his black and white selfie, a simple caption of ‘hey’ towards the bottom of the screen. I couldn’t help the smile that tugged on my lips. He looked incredibly cute and definitely less like an annoying fuckboy. My heart started beating faster as i realized i should respond to him. I looked like a mess and i had no idea what i should i take a picture of. My room wasn't that clean, my face was meh at best and it was way too early for ass pics. I stared into my full length mirror, accessing the damage of my makeup. With my crappy room lighting and the use of a hundred filters I could potentially pull off a worthwhile selfie to send.

I angled my phone from above and mulled through the filters, finding a cute cat one that smoothed out my face to an angelic glow and made me have giant doe eyes. When i was satisfied i snapped the pic and typed in ‘Hey yourself’ as the caption. I expected him to leave me on read for most of the night and moved onto the other notifications i had. There was a text message from Yuta showing off new hot pink rope he had gotten (one of my favorite colors), a text from Taeyong telling me that Quinn had left their vest there (which im sure he texted just to have an excuse to talk to me), and a comment from Ten on my latest instagram selfie i took at practice (when my makeup was not so gross). I went to work answering them making the minutes pass by, keeping my mind off the thought of waiting for Johnny’s response. Thankfully, the waiting was short lived.

It was another picture but this one wasn’t so innocent and cute. His shirt was halfway up his torso, exposing his abs and the trimmed line of hair that trailed below his belly button and disappeared under the waistband of his Supreme briefs that were barely covered by his sweatpants. They did no justice in hiding the thick bulge beneath. His caption this time was ‘wyd?’. I stared at the picture so intently that my eyes started to blur a bit. I hadn’t even noticed i was holding my breath until my chest struggled to expand. He was reminding me exactly why i ended up in his bed last night and why i still felt the ache in my thighs.

I wasn't going to snap him back this time. No way. I knew exactly what he was doing- just trying to get me back in his bed. I wasn't going to fall for it. I was going to let him think that i wasn't desperate and let him suffer. I set my phone face down on my bed and pulled off my fishnet stockings and my shirt, tossing them in my hamper. I whipped off my bra and pulled on the tank top i had earlier, returning to my comfy pj state. Flopping onto my mattress, i laid back and reached for the headphones that always resided beside my pillow. They were my prized possession, complete with perfect outside noise cancellation. I opened up my spotify and hit shuffle on one of my favorite albums, sighing contently as Quinn and Lucas’ moaning was finally blocked out. I set my phone on my stomach and closed my eyes. I could use another nap to be honest…

But first…

I opened up my snapchat again succumbing to the victory of being the last one to send a teasing picture. I put the hem of my tank top cheekily between my teeth while i pressed my boobs together, making them fuller and have optimum cleavage. My caption was just a response to his question; ‘nothing much. Hbu?’.

I was too damn weak for him. I knew what the hell was under his sweatpants already but somewhere deep in the back of my mind, no matter how much i tried to ignore it, i had been thinking about the way he felt inside me. The dull ache, his long fingers, every bite of his perfect teeth on my skin, the small growls that made every one of my hairs stand on end. I thought there wouldnt be a next time- That i would just have to chalk him up to another one night stand- but now i knew he was interested in something a little more and i could play my favorite game of cat and mouse.

I set my phone back on my stomach opting to focus on the music. My nails drummed against my phone case following the beat of the heavy bass. It felt like an internal clock was ticking, reminding me like an annoying little devil that I was desperate for a response. Minutes turned into a half hour, a half hour turned into an hour. I gave up on my ability to wait when Lucas banged on my door, loud enough to shake me from half asleep stupor. He was asking me to drive him back to his dorm. I didn’t bother putting my shorts back on. Instead i trudged to the front door in just my panties, sliding on my flipflops as we made our way out to the parking lot. The both of us were yawning as we got into my car, the passenger seat was still all the way back from when he got in three days ago.

“Had fun?” I asked. I could tell he was getting drained. Having sex non stop was going to run him right into the ground. He and Quinn were always hot messes like that. And I got called the stuck up one because my relationships were slightly more calculated.

“Yeah…” He grumbled.

“How many you'd get out?”

“2...Quinn got 5.”

“Oh boy. Let me guess, you didnt eat since I fed you either, right?” He didn't answer. I sighed and took a right turn away from the dorms and towards the strip of fast food places downtown.

“Where you going?”

“To get you food.” I flicked him in the temple, making him wince. “You need to eat and stop thinking with your dick so much.”

“Yes, Eri.” He sighed as set his head on his open faced palm, staring out the window. I pulled into a Taco Bell, rubbing his knee to pull him out of his sleepy daze. He gave me his order which seemed to be a whole laundry list of calories and fat. I pulled up to the next window and automatically reached for my debit card only to realize that i had left it at the apartment inside my shorts.

“Fuck.” I whispered.

Lucas dug into his pocket and handed me his card from his wallet. I started to protest but he just gave me a small smile. “I owe you. Dont worry about it. Youre always taking care of me anyway.”

I took his card and handed it over to the employee, waiting for his order. I felt his warm hand slip into mine giving it a little squeeze. “Dont start that gay shit.” I joked. He was always so clingy, loving, and sweet and I...liked to suppress everything I could about my emotions. Somehow he always found a way to bring something caring and nurturing out of me. He was so far from home that within the year or so that Quinn and I had known him, we became his family. Sure we all fucked but it just...kinda worked that way. I could be his best friend and caregiver and we could also connect physically to a point where it was neutral. He knew i would never want a relationship with him and that was for the best.

“Dont lie, Eri. Somewhere between your big tits you have a heart and not some black void like you pretend to have.”

“Excuse you, you leave my black void alone. It's fine just the way it is. I'm going to keep it that way.”

“Admit it. In there you have love for me and Quinn. And probably Johnnnyyyyyyyy~”

“Oh, grow up.” I scoffed. “Besides he's the one who wants it more than i do. It was him who sent me the request this afternoon and he’s already sent me a slutty snap.” i replied, grabbing the bag of food from the worker and handing it over to Lucas.

“Ohhh so that’s who that was? Shocker.”

“Yeah, you knew it was him, you little shit.”

“I’m your wingman, babes. You'll thank me later.”

I pulled out of the drive through and headed back in the direction of his dorm building. “I doubt that but ok. I dont even know if i'm gonna fuck him again.”

“You will.” he replied before shoving a burrito in his mouth. I pulled up to the building shortly after, ignoring his little quip and setting myself in park.

“Here we are, kid.”

He swallowed hard, licking his fingers of cheese sauce. “Can i come over next weekend?”

“I'm gonna be busy with Yuta on Saturday so see what Quinn says.”

“Ugh, fine.” He leaned in close and gave me a soft kiss, holding it for a bit longer than usual. “See you around!” He got out the car, taking his bag of food and backpack with him. I waited until i saw him disappear into the building before taking off. My phoned buzzed from within my cup holder and i wondered if it was Johnny. I waited until i came across a red light before stealing a glance at my phone. My mouth went dry as soon i saw his username on my screen. I wanted to see what he had sent so bad but if it was too good i didnt want it to happen while i was in the car and distracted.

I zoomed down the street, my foot a little bit heavier on the gas pedal than necessary. I was home in a flash, almost drifting into a parking space before taking the steps to my apartment two at a time. I unlocked the door and rushed in, surprised to see Quinn hobbling out of their room.

“Now i know how you feel with Johnny. My thighs are killing me.”

“Speaking of Johnny.” I spat out excitedly. “He added me on snapchat and his last snap to me was him in sweatpants with his dick print all perfect and his abs out and shit. I wanted to die. And now he just sent me another one and since you’re done with Lucas you can see it.”.

“God i hope it's his dick. Will you let me see his dick? I want to see his dick.”

I shrugged and clicked on his notification. “i guess we'll see- holy fucking shit.”

I could barely see his face, only his lips curling into a smirk as his monstrous hand groped at his bulge, giving it a quick shake. God it was so gross yet here i was salivating over it. His caption was ‘thought about how good you felt’. The 10 second clip was gone almost instantly but the view was already ingrained in my mind.

“Well if youre not gonna go over there and fuck him i will.” Quinn said.

“I’d rather you kinda….didn't.” I looked down at them as a little bit of awkwardness sparked between us.

They pouted and crossed their arms. “You're gonna hog all that to yourself?! That's so unfair!”

“Ok, i know were pretty open about who we fuck because were in the same social circle but we kinda share Yuta and Lucas already! And i'm pretty sure Taeyong is up my ass again too, so that’s three guys! Let me have this ONE.”

“Ugh!! You’re getting soft! Was his dick that good that it went straight to your head and made you loopy?! We’re supposed to use them and leave! That’s it.”

“I know! I mean i usually leave right after when I’m with Ten and Yuta, i dropped Taeyong entirely, and Lucas hangs around here constantly so i can’t do much about that. You're the one that usually kicks him out. I dont know...i just…”

“You like him?!”

“I do not! I just like his dick! And maybe his lips….and his eyes...and his arms. And his tummy is cute too. His butt looks suuuuper good and-”

“You're weak, Eri. Promise me you will only use him for his dick. He's a dumb fuckboy who doesn’t deserve you.” Quinn said.

“I know that! And it’s gonna stay that way. Trust me. I'm not even going to answer him back. I’m tired so i’m heading to bed. I’ve got an early class anyway.”

“Yeah you do that. Between Jae, Taeyong, and Lucas, i’m pooped. I'm gonna stay home tomorrow.”

I rolled my eyes. Sometimes their will to not do anything successful with college was irritating. “Ok well you do that. Just be quiet if you're going to stay up late.” i said as i disappeared into my room and curled up in bed. What i said was partially true; i wasn't going to answer Johnny back. Well not now at least. He made me wait an hour before answering me. I was petty enough to make him wait twice as long for my response. I decided to set a timer as a reminder to get up and take a cute pic of my ass. But first a quick nap would do me good.

My alarm shook me out of my sleep, the heavy guitar riff scaring the crap out of me. I felt around for my phone groaning as i lifted my head off my pillow to shut it off. I blinked a few times bringing the time into view. It was 7:30 am. I totally missed my timer to respond back to Johnny and i didn't have time to take something sexy now. There were no other notifications from him either. I only had a few texts from my harem and a good morning selfie from Lucas. Glad he was actually going to class at least.

I forced myself out of bed and started getting ready. Shower, brushing my teeth, getting makeup on my face so i looked semi alive and like i didnt want to throw myself out a window. I picked out a random pair of leggings and a cut up band tee. That would suffice for today. I pulled on my worn out converses and grabbed my backpack, stuffing my headphones and laptop in it. I put some deodorant on and tossed it in my bag as well. I still had a decent amount of time to get to the commuters parking lot and head to the dungeon of journalism buildings. Once i got there, it only took a few minutes to find my classroom. It was a tiny box of a room with barely any air conditioning and older wooden desks. I plopped down in the middle aisle, already feeling my thighs stick to the chair.

Waiting for class to start was a pain. I was hungry and wanted coffee. I would maybe have some time to go to the Starbucks downtown before my next class. I didnt really have Starbucks money to spare but i needed a pick me up. Other students started shuffling in as the 9 o’ clock mark crept closer. Our professor still hadn’t shown up yet. The general consensus was 10 minutes without a teacher and you were free to leave. Please let me leave, i begged silently. If I didn’t cave in and get Starbucks I could sleep in a bit more in one of the quiet rooms in the library. I had some heavy decisions to weigh out within the next five minutes before I was able to book it.

I was watching the time tick on my phone when i saw a notification from snapchat. Oh fuck…It was Johnny. I opened it quickly, covering my phone just in case it was some sort of morning wood pic. I started wondering, just for a moment, if he slept in those sweats or completely naked. When i looked down at the picture it was actually of me sitting at my desk. The caption was ‘Ur not even gonna say hi? Lol’. I straightened up and whipped my head around trying to see where the fuck he was. I saw his smirk from the back right corner of the room, sunglasses over his eyes as he gave me a little head nod and stuck his tongue out. I whipped back around in my seat, trying to hide the blush that splattered across my cheeks.

Of course he would have class with me. Of fucking course. I had no idea what to do. Would this be awkward for us if we kept fucking? I could just ignore him for the entire semester. Pretend that any emotion towards him didn't exist and that we hadn’t fucked. While i was building my exterior facade into a sturdy wall my interior was crumbling with panic. I started furiously texting Quinn, even though i knew they weren't awake, just to get my internal screaming out. How was i supposed to get away from him now?! I had to look at those stupid gorgeous lips and thick thighs every single day of fall semester! All i could do was pray that the professor still didn't show up. My foot was furiously bouncing in anticipation of my freedom and potential to leave Johnny in the dust.

Unfortunately, i didn't get my wish. The professor came in then, huffing, puffing, and way too flustered. I set my head on the table and groaned, barely ready to suffer through the next hour and a half. Every once in awhile it would feel like Johnny was watching me but each time i looked back i was sure he was sleeping behind his sunglasses. He was probably up partying too late last night again. i caught him rubbing his eyes and yawning, looking so soft and sleepy. My lips tugged into a smile, that gooey, sickly sweet feeling returning to my stomach. I needed that to stop. I sighed and looked down at the syllabus that had been passed out. No one actually gave a crap about these. We just needed to know the due dates and what stupid projects we had. Time droned on but luckily we were let out a little early.

I stood up quickly, grabbing my bag and heading straight for the door, not bothering to look back to see if Johnny was on my tail. I got my answer either way when i felt an arm around my shoulders steering me towards the rows of rentable lockers. “So you are definitely ignoring me, right?” I heard him ask.

I groaned internally. “Not necessarily. I mean i couldn't just get up in the middle of class and ride your dick.” I kept myself in front of him, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other and gripping the strap of my backpack tightly.

“Definitely would have been better then going through another fucking syllabus. Like we dont know how to read.” He rolled his eyes. “Anyway, when’s your next class?”

“Why?” I asked curiously.

He looked around for a second before leaning against the lockers. “Wanna hook up again? I need a quickie.”

I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me. “Oh you need one, huh? Damn, didn't think you'd be the needy type Johnny.”

He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. “Let me put it this way then. I want to fuck and you’re the only one that’s here right now. Hows that sound?”

“Sounds like you're still thirsty from when I didn't answer your snap last night.”

“Don't know why you're playing hard to get when you weren’t that hard to get in my bed on Saturday.”

“And you definitely aren't hard to wrap around my finger.” I shot back, glaring at him as our bodies edged closer to each other.

“I’m hardly wrapped around your finger.” His almost hissed as he leaned in.

“You're here wanting to fuck me again, aren't you?” I crossed my arms and smirked up at him, knowing I had bested him in his little shade contest.

He dragged his tongue over his teeth and scoffed. He looked away for a second, probably trying to recoup his ego. “Look, you want it or nah? I don’t have time to waste”

I got my phone out of my bra and flicked on the screen, pretending to see if I had enough time for him. My next class still wasn’t for another hour and a half. I could squeeze in a quickie. Besides if this perked me up then I could save a few bucks on coffee. I let out an exaggerated sigh. “I guess I have some free time. You got a condom?”

He patted his shorts, grabbing his wallet from his back pocket before flipping it open and checking the money pocket. “Yep.”

“I’m not about to fuck you with some old ass condom you’ve had in your wallet since you were like 16.”

“I just put it in there the other day, stupid. Anyway, where you wanna go?”

“Third floor has private bathroom. Normally that floor is pretty empty until later on in the afternoon. Follow me.”

I slipped in front of him, trying my best to make sure he had a view of my ass in the leggings that left little to the imagination. Besides if I lead the way I wouldn’t have to struggle as much to keep up with his long strides. We maneuvered up the stairs, flowing around the clog of students shifting classes. When we got to the third floor it was mostly clear as I had expected but I still looked around to see if anyone would possibly notice us. Johnny didn’t care, however. He sprinted ahead of me, swinging the door open the to single stall. “Come on already. No one’s gonna see.”

I sighed and scurried over to him, bouncing into the room and rushing him to close the door. He rolled his eyes as he set his backpack down and locked the door. “What? You think we’re gonna get in trouble out something? A bathroom isn’t the same as the student affairs office.”

“Shut up, asshole. I just want to be sure no one is going to interrupt us is all. I don’t have time to hear you whining about blue balls or some shit.”

“Whatever, scaredy cat. Let’s get this over with.” He pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it by his backpack.

“Let’s get this over with? You know I can just leave you here to jerk off if that’s how you’re gonna be.”

“Yeah but you wont.” He grabbed the strap of my backpack and forced me close to him, my head almost ramming into his chest. I braced myself against him, about to bombard him with profanities when his hands cupped either side of my face. His head came down to connect our lips and I melted then, hungry to satisfy my addiction that already developed for his sensual kisses. I clung to his waist tight as we melded together. His tongue slipped out to massage my own, sucking it into his mouth to control every aspect of our tangle. He retreated his hands from my face and worked to shove my backpack off and drop it beside us. I had begun to claw at the waistband of his shorts while he grabbed a hold of my hair. His other hand rested on the small of my back, making sure i was crushed against him. My breath was barely able to escape with how close we were and his lips not breaking from mine. I managed to pop open the button of his fly while he moved us backwards, trapping me between his well built frame and the bathroom wall. I pulled away finally, gulping down air that he threatened to take away again.

“You like shoving me against shit, don’t you?” i panted heavily.

He licked his lips, lowering himself even more to kiss at my neck. “I like having you exactly where i want you. Plus, it's hot to see you stand on your tiptoes just to try and kiss me.”

“I'm pretty sure you just like me being short because my mouth is closer to your dick.”

“I mean that too.” He chuckled lowly before wrapping his lips around my collarbone to draw blood to the surface. “We can test that out if you want.”

“If i'm good at giving head?”

He small groan against my shoulder. “Yeah. That.”

“Well…” I grabbed onto his shoulders and shoved him back, switching our positions to have him pinned to the wall. “I haven't had any complaints yet.” Johnny looked a little surprised, yet excited at the prospect of me sucking him off. His eyes were fixated on me, on my lips, as i trailed passionate kisses down his stomach and nipped at his iliac's crest. In a split second, his shorts were around his ankles and my knees followed them to the ground. I was mostly confident in my ability to pleasure him until a sickening feeling started bubbling in my mind. How the hell he was even remotely going to fit into my mouth? I could barely take him inside me without minutes on end of preparation. Now he expected me to shove him down my throat? I swallowed hard when the outline of his dick trapped in his boxer briefs stared me down.

“You just gonna sit there or-?” he snapped.

I realized he had been waiting for me to start. My heart was thundering already as I tried to conceive of a way to swallow him down comfortably. I sighed internally and just decided to bite the bullet. I rested my hands on his hips kissing the outline of his cock through his underwear. His breath stilled as his eyes closed and his head dipped back ever so slightly. I kissed the head of his cock, sucking gently and tonguing around the thickness. My hands wandered from his hips to his ass, grabbing a hold of his firm cheeks. I heard him let out a small laugh before pulling my hands away, making me pout.

“What's up with you girls and my ass? Ya”ll are always grabbing it.” he said.

“Not for nothing but it’s pretty cute and if you want me to enjoy sucking your dick even more, you should probably let me do it.” I yanked my hands from his and pulled down his underwear swiftly, revealing what made me scared yet lustful. He was rolling his eyes, preparing to retort with another quip when i wrapped my lips fully around his head. He exhaled softly instead, making the easiest of thrusts into my mouth as he started getting hard. My mouth was expanding to accommodate being fuller and I tried swallowing around him, inching my way down gradually. My eyes were already squeezed shut, my chest heaving as i forced myself to breathe through my nose.

The groan that came out of him was definitely a bit louder and deeper than what i heard during our last hookup. It was followed by a much softer ‘keep going’ as his long fingers came to rest on my shoulder. His thumb stroked my jugular, keeping me steady against him. My body relaxed a bit more as i felt the warmth of his hand so close to my neck. I was leaning into him again, wanting to feel the constriction of my air supply. I was able to swallow down more, barely half way but better than what i expected. I worked a hand around his base, giving a small squeeze before starting rhythmic strokes. My fingers met my lips as I flowed between sucking and stroking, trying my best to coax those rumbly groans out of him once more.

His thumb finally pressed into the front of my throat and I could feel the pressure every time i swallowed back. My grip on his ass tightened my nails digging into the muscles and leaving small marks behind. I wrapped a small moan around the tip of his cock as I felt the beginning drops of precum coat my taste buds. He hissed softly as he slipped the condom from his pocket into my hand. “Hurry…”

I smirked, releasing him from my mouth and tearing the foil open. “Still so needy, Johnny~”

He turned his eyes away from me. “Just hurry up and make me cum.”

“Hah, funny. I'm the one who should be cumming before you, asshole.”

“If you earn it.” He guided my hand towards his dick, commanding me to roll the condom on.

I scoffed, pinching the tip of the rubber as i rolled it down his shaft. “If I earn it? You’re seriously bad at trying to be the one in charge.” I lied. His sharp tongued quips and deep tone was sending shivers down my spine. I wanted him to control me, command me, and have me fight tooth and nail against him.

Johnny grabbed me by my arms, hauling me up to my feet and harshly pulling down my leggings. I couldnt even say anymore before his fingers were down my panties. His middle finger was coyly circling my entrance and I knew he was just trying proving his point. Specifically, when his finger made one slow drag up to my clit before sliding back down again. “You were saying?”

I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest. “Instead of annoying me with your smart ass mouth and your boring repeated tricks, why don’t you repay the favor by eating me out?”

He looked down at me, wrinkling his nose in a face of disgust. “Nah, i'm cool.”

Excuse me?? What? Did he really just deny eating me out? What kind of nonsense was that?!

“Why not? I literally just sucked your dick. It's the least you could do.” i almost growled. I would have much rather had him go down on me and not be such a jerk about it. Maybe i was spoiled. Every single one of my other partners would do it for me, from Taeyong to Quinn to Lucas and everyone in between. Johnny was the worst exception and my mind still toyed with the idea of leaving him here to get off on his own. I felt his finger dip into me again, trying to distract me from my tirade of angry thoughts. I hated him for all the convincing he was doing by filling me with his thick long fingers, furling and unfurling at a pace that made me squirm against him. My anger was slowly dissolving and my hips were grinding into his palm with each thrust. His breath brushed against my ear while his other hand tugged on the hem of my tee.

“Off, now.” He purred against me.

His command was better and more convincing this time. The timbre of his voice made my thighs clench just a bit and brought out the worst in my bratty personality. “Make me.”

I didn’t expect him to laugh in my face. “What are you, twelve? Just take it off.”

“Shut up! You're the one trying to command me and shit!.”

“I thought that's what you liked? Or is that only when you're tied up with your legs open?” He pulled his fingers out of me, my juices glistening under the fluorescent lighting. I stared at them, my tongue coming to drag over my bottom lip as tension filled the minimal space between us. I swallowed back when i saw the way he was looking at me, irritated yet primal in a way. He gave another tug on my shirt and i didnt question it this time. I pulled it over my head, along with my bra, and dropped it to the floor, never taking my eyes off him as he gripped my chin and pushed his cum covered fingers passed my lips.

The way he filled my mouth so easily had me clawing at his waist to keep him against me. My tongue worked over each digit, sucking my taste off before forcing myself down to his knuckles. His brows furrowed as he watched, concentrating on every movement and the way I grabbed at his wrist as if I was pleading to never pull away. I did however manage to regain myself enough to send a taunting question his way. “Remember when you said you were going to finger me so hard you would have me cumming in minutes? That didn't happen last time. Gonna make up for your lie?”

“i wasn’t lying but since you want to test me so bad bend over the fucking sick then, smartass.”

He shoved me towards the sink so fast that I struggled to kick off my converses and leggings so i wouldn't trip. I grabbed onto the sides of the sink, glaring back at Johnny through the mirror that was bolted above it. “You don't have to push me.”

“Aw baby,” he cooed as he lifted my knee onto the edge of the sink. “Dont lie, i know you love this. I’m gonna make you cum all over my cock.”

“Pause. Big pause. Don’t ever, and i mean, EVER say that. It's gross and literally the most unsexy thing someone could ever say.”

He shrugged, his voice dropping in tonality. “Usually girls want me to say shit like that.”

“Get it through your thick skull that i’m not one of your little chickenheads. What works for them doesn't do shit for me. Just...be yourself.” I sighed as I squared my shoulders and looked back at him. “Ok?” I said softly.

He licked his lips and cleared his throat. “What fucking ever.” He was back to his cocky attitude then but for a split second i could see a small shift in his eyes. Maybe it was doubt or him softening up a bit through me calling him out. I hoped it got through to him or else i'd have to use one of Ten’s ball gags every time i was with him.

He resumed his impatient plunges, as if nothing had transpired, discarding whatever feelings that were passing through his thoughts. He pressed his chest into my back, forcing me to stay bent over the small bowl. The pressure of his body against mine continued to build up and overwhelm my endorphins. I braced my hand against the mirror, the heat from it fogging into a print. God, he was such an asshole for making me feel this good.

He gathered my hair in his fist, tugging slightly to angle my head towards the mirror so i could see the smirk on his reflection.“You know i think i like it better when you don't talk either.”

I gave him a spiteful glare as our eyes chased one another before his tongue dove to place lavish licks across my throat. My shoulders tensed at the sensation, fighting to give into carnal desires that seemed to flare up whenever I was with him.

He placed more bites between my shoulder blades mixing them with the still fresh marks from our previous escapade. He joined his destruction of my skin's surface with the curling of his fingers again, pressing the pads of his fingertips against the sensitive area within me. My lips clasped into a impenetrable wall, sealing in my moan while his were flowing freely into my shoulders. I felt his cock burying into my back, the friction of my squirming leading him into torment. My supporting leg seemed to lift up on its own, bringing me to my tip toes, making him get as deep as he could. The torture ceased when i finally gave into his claim, my first orgasm shocking me as it had in fact hit me in minutes. I almost believed i could snap the sink in half with how utterly amazing his fingers were.

My head dipped low as i sank back, trying to recover before he worked me up again. I wanted to rest my propped up leg down on the ground but Johnny kept it pinned in place. He didnt let me have a moment to myself. Instead he vanished inside me so breathtakingly fast that my gasp surrounded us in echoes. His hand forced an iron grip on my hip while his muscles worked to piston into me. I leaned back against his shoulder reminding me of the climax of our first fuck. My eyes were fluttered closed, lips parted and waiting to feel his tongue overrunning mine. The small teasing nibbles to my lips that turned into rumbling bites were enough to make me weak.

Mewls, curses, and begs circulated between us Then it was over. He pulled away without an explanation, a pattern he was performing all too familiarly. He busied himself with kicking off his shoes and stumbling out of his shorts. I knew he hadnt cum yet and i need that deep stretch between my thighs and that radio voice to make me drip. I crossed my arms over my chest, waiting for his next move. “Well?”

He showed nothing more than calculated movements to pull me up into his arms, keeping me between his chest and the wall anew. There wasn’t any struggle to lift me, not even so much as a grunt when the muscles in his arms flexed to support my legs and my ass. I watched every inch of him tense; his legs square and steady, his chest rising and falling with each heavy inhale, and his shoulder blades pinching inwards. He was literally beautiful and i despised it. He was making my brain feel as if it was stuck in the clouds and was never going to clear itself of the fog. He had spread me out for him, my legs dangling over his striated forearms,

I felt him then, his shaft riding between my lower lips to coat himself in my wetness. It was opposite of the rushed thrusts he had moments ago that made my stomach burn. The ridge of his head ghosted across my clit with each upward motion reminding me that the simplistic move was enough to bring me closer to insanity. That sensation was my favorite thing in the world and i ached for more. I held onto his shoulders, stabilizing myself as i inched my hips to meet his in an unwavering continuation of my satisfaction. His eyes flickered down at me, that smug look mocking me. Why did he know how to tease me so well?

I wanted to shove his face away from me but instead i dipped a hand down from his shoulder, my nails scraping against his torso. His eyes followed my fingers, getting wide as he found them spreading myself open for him. I could see his adam's apple bob with a hard swallow. “Fuck...” He shuddered. I felt my back slide down the wall as his hold on me wavered for a second. He hiked me up, repositioning me as he got a hold of himself. He was at a better angle now and the tip of his cock was already pushing past my entrance. I rested my head against the wall trying to distract myself from the way my already sore thighs were shaking and instead concentrate on the returning thrusts.

The slow sweet feeling got my body on edge just as much as the fast pace plowing did. I could feel myself tingling, shuddering each time his head caught a sensitive spot within my walls. Johnny dripped kisses across my breasts as his tongue teased tantric circles around my nipple before capturing it between his plush lips. My back arched, my breast filling his mouth enough for him to bite the swell of it. My breath hiccuped as i felt the sting of his teeth grazing against my skin. I wanted to see the after effects of those perfect rows when i thought of him later on tonight. He kissed at the indentations, creeping his way back up to my neck.

His motions switched to a rough slam that had his hips forcing me back against the clammy wall as i clutched onto him for dear life. The calculated and harsh thrusts were powerful enough to drive feelings out of me that i preferred to keep repressed. It didn't help at all when his husky fervored radio voice finally groaned in my ear, “Fuck, Eri….you feel so good.”

In my head i was begging him not to stop though all i could get out was little squeaks as my nails etched streaks into his back. He hissed as i clenched around him with as much strength as i could muster, spurring the morphing jagged stutters of his hips faster. Our lips met in a rougher kiss once more, teeth clashing and moans interrupting each grab of our tongues. He was stretching me as he throbbed until the ever euphoric feeling flushed over us together. Our bodies had somehow managed to sync our orgasms which shocked me into silence. Johnny pressed his forehead into my shoulder as he slowed down, riding out the last aching feeling between us. I was tingling all over, my limbs feeling like tv static, as a wave of warmth washed over my skin. Everything about this was a mystery I had to unravel. It was new and different. I had never cum at the same time as my partner before. I always thought it was an enigma that only appeared in movies and tv shows. Now that I was experiencing it I had no idea what to do or say. I looked up at him as i tried to gather myself.

“Shit...uh…” What did you say to someone who made you feel so painstakingly good?

He pulled out of me gently before setting me down on my unstable legs. I diverted my eyes from him and managed to catch my reflection in the mirror. New hickies were all over me flowing with the others and the teeth marks on my chest made the skin tender. The fatigue was setting in hard and i was harshly reminded of the warm September weather that the shitty air conditioning in this building couldn't keep up with. I wanted to shower then sleep forever, maybe with him in my bed.

That minuscule daydream ended as i saw him tossing out the used condom and getting dressed. He was cold and distant like i usually was after a quick fuck..

“See ya.” He said as he pulled his shirt back over his head and grabbed his backpack. I gave him the finger as the door shut behind him, cursing under my breath. I was pretending that it wasn’t phasing me that he was leaving me out in the cold again. I turned on the faucet and ran some water over my neck and chest, trying to cool myself down. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail before wiping the cum that was now making me uncomfortably wet from between my thighs. Getting dressed was a painful ride that i was sure to carry onto my shift at work later on. I took a deep breath before opening the door and sliding back out into the world, less horny but still feeling incredibly reckless.

Johnnys POV

I unlocked the door to the apartment, sighing deeply as i still felt the scratches from earlier beneath my backpack. They had bothered me all day during my shift and I had half a mind to curse Eri out. I dropped my backpack to the floor, grateful to get rid of the weight and kicked off my work boots. I ran my fingers through my hair as i took off my hat, setting it on the hook by the door along with my keys. Jae was sprawled out on the couch seeming to have done nothing all day. “Hey dipshit.”

“‘Sup, asshole.” he replied.

“I’m fucking starving.” I announced as i headed over to the kitchen. I opened the freezer and took out the frozen pizza i had been thinking about all day. I had barely eaten since i had started my shift this afternoon and at this point i would eat everything if our fridge wasn’t so empty.

“Hey i got you something.” I heard Jae call out as i tore open the box and pulled out the pizza.

“What?”

“Look.”

I turned back to see a little plastic baggie dangling from his fingers. I rushed back to him snatching it up. “Fuck! Where'd you get this from? Matt?”

“Yeah, i managed to have enough for the good shit.”

“Thank fuckin' god because Josh kept giving us mostly stems.” I replied. “I'm gonna put some food in the oven in a sec, if you wanna share.”

He nodded. “What are you making?”

“Pizza, i dont think we have another one but ill double check. Oh, we need screens.” I headed into my room for a moment, grabbing my bowl off my dresser and searching for the screens i had….somewhere. I opened my drawer and moved some of my underwear around, searching for the stupid little envelope. “For the love of tits, where is it? JAE! You got any screens left?”

“Fuck if i know.” he called back.

Thanks for helping, asshole. I went to check my desk drawer, pushing aside some of my sd cards, lighters, and notebooks until I finally found the tiny manilla envelope with the mesh screens for the bottom of my bowl. I went back to the living room and handed them over to Jae. “You wanna get it ready? Im gonna put the pizza in.”

He sat up and grabbed his grinder that was on the coffee table. “Yep. Can we use your good lighter? Mine barely has any juice left.”

We always use my good lighter. I rolled my eyes and tried to hide my annoyed sigh. I couldn't be too picky. He did get me good weed after all. “Yeah, no problem, bro.” I left him to work and shuffled back to the kitchen, getting out a cookie sheet and slapping the pizza on it, sans plastic. I looked in the freezer to see if we had anything else I could whip up. There was some left over frozen fries and onion rings. I shrugged and dumped them onto the cookie sheet, shoving the pizza aside a bit. That was good enough. I tossed it in the oven and set the timer for like 20 minutes.

I sat down beside Jae on the couch just as he was lighting the bowl, taking in a big inhale before handing it to me. I did the same, waiting a bit before exhaling, my eyes resting on the rerun of Rick and Morty he had put on. I thought about telling him what happened between Eri and I this afternoon. We normally told each other about who we fucked but i felt like i wasn't going to hear the end of his bitching if I did. Oh well. I had a mental shrug before taking another hit. “So….i fucked Eri again today.”

“Damn, for real?” He looked over at me in disbelief, shaking his head a bit. “I knew you were whipped for her.”

“Fuck off, i am not. She’s just you know…hot.” As in ridiculously cute even though she was not the usual type i went for. “And she has nice tits.” As in they fit so perfectly in my hands and i wish i could hold them all day, that i could hold her all day… “And shes tight as fuck, to be honest.” As in, i could hardly give a shit about that but she feels so damn good that my mind just turns to mush when im inside her. “Oh, and shes good at giving brain.” As in, her lips are literally a gift to this damn world and all i could think about was kissing them...but also yeah, she gives good brain too.

“Damn, her pussy must be that special to end your one night stand streak then. What happened to ‘only get her snap or instagram so she cant call you’, or ‘only ask for nudes’, or ‘fuck her and leave and dont ever text her back’?”

“The dick wants what the dick wants, bro.” I said before taking another hit. I really wished she would get out my head. I was stuck with her though. For an entire semester i had to stare at the way she twirled her hair around her finger as she tried to look back at me and hope that i didnt notice. I noticed it all and it only made it worse. Everything about her was frozen in my head like a damaged vhs tape caught in the same scene. Even at work i was fucking up coffee orders because i would remember the little moans she made in my ear or some other gay shit. Sometimes i would think about tracing my fingers over her tattoos and seeing what other things turned her on. I hated this. I needed to separate myself from her. Sleeping with her again was a mistake.

“You good or are you just spacing out from the weed?” Jae laughed.

I blinked quickly and looked at him, suddenly coming out of my funk. I had no idea how long I spaced out for or however many hits i took. It was kind of an unconscious motion at this point. I laughed nervously trying to cover up that i had been thinking about Eri. “Oh yeah, haha. Shit's good. I'm gonna check on the food ok?”

“I think the timer went off.” He shrugged as he packed another bowl. I went to check the food, taking my phone with me. I was secretly hoping that i would have a snap from Eri. There was nothing. I should've been happy because it meant i could cut ties and not have her in my room again (or bathroom for that matter). But a feeling in my stomach kept tugging. It was if my gut was telling me to just take the chance and message her again. We barely talked otherwise. Even today i just left her in the bathroom because it was what i was used to even though I felt like I should’ve said more. That orgasm was fuckin’ insane-better than anything I had ever had before. Maybe one more little hook up wouldn’t kill me. No. I was starting to break my own rules.

I wanted to slam my head against the wall with all this back and forth bullshit in my mind. I needed to smoke more; until my head got foggy, my eyes blurry, and i could laugh this feeling away. I opened the oven and stared at the food for awhile, trying to gauge if everything was cooked without actually touching it. I cocked my head to the side, watching the slow bubbling of the pizza cheese and listening to the sizzle of the fries that were just starting to crisp.

“Is it done?!”

I stepped back from the oven, wiping away the sweat on my forehead that had started to accumulate from being in front of the heat for so long. I looked around for a potholder, finding it on the floor because Jae could never pick anything up. I pulled the tray out and grabbed a plate for myself. “Come get your own shit!”

I grabbed a knife and started hacking away at the pizza, trying to get it into slices. I was so focused on trying to unstick it from the tray i almost didnt notice the two quick vibrations that went off as my phone screen flashed on. I tried not to look at it right away since Jae was making his way over to the kitchen. If i didn’t play it cool he would go back to bitchin’ about me hooking up with Eri again. He started picking off fries from the tray, opening and closing his mouth to try in get cold air in, instead of waiting for it to cool like a normal human being. Meanwhile, I managed to get half a slice of pizza unstuck and dropped it onto my plate before joining it with some onion rings. I picked up my phone, making sure Jae was too engrossed with eating to see what Eri had sent me.

It was a picture of her neck and shoulders. The new hickies from today that had amassed into a weird purple splotch on her skin. Her caption was ‘can you not? I do have to go to work you know lol’. I smirked. Seeing them all over her made me feel something. Like i had marked my territory? Eww no. That sounded gross. Maybe i liked seeing a reminder of me on her? It was feeding into my thoughts of ‘maybe she was thinking about me too’. My thumbs hovered over my keyboard for a solid minute. I didnt want to sound like an idiot or worse, a desperate idiot.

Text me when ur free?

I hit send in the chat section then typed out my number. I never did that. Never fucking ever. I was kicking myself mentally already. She wasn’t going to text back. I set my phone in my pocket and pulled off more pizza from the tray and went to the couch, alternating between eating, smoking, and feeling my body start to give into sleep. “Dont sleep on the couch.” I yawned at Jae, seeing him start to slump over on the armrest.

“I’m chill. I had a productive day of not giving a fuck and staying home. Go snap your girlfriend.” he laughed.

“Go text yours.” I got up and shuffled to my room, slamming the door behind me. I tossed my phone onto my bed and took off all my clothes, kicking them towards the giant pile of laundry on my floor. I shook off a condom wrapper that stuck to my foot then fell face first into the mattress. My body felt heavy. I hoped i would stay asleep through the night this time and wake up not needing 4 Americanos to start the day. I felt a vibration through my bed and poked my head up from my pillow.

I guess im free

Dumbass

I immediately saved her number.

Cool

Slut

I could feel a smile start to form on my lips and i shoved my face back into my pillow. If i suffocated myself enough i’d end my misery. I wouldn't need to wait for my heart stop beating so fast if i was dead. Minutes passed by and there wasn’t another message. I waited just a bit longer, until my eyelids felt heavy and i dove deep into the void.

The void was sometimes peaceful but it never really lasted long. There were times where it shifted into an ocean and made me choke on the waters of my mental distress. Other times it was a sterile room, bright and menacing. It housed my body on a slab that couldn't move, my mouth wired shut and my inability to scream permeating my mind until all i did was panic. The worst of times it was a monster that sucked me back into a realm of corrupted childhood innocence and i could never escape the horrors of being chased. It felt so stupid that i could do all this to myself but never had a way to stop it. The fear was overwhelming, creeping through each nerve until all that was left was the suffocating silence and the streaks of tears on my cheeks that smothered me in emotions that were usually locked away and buried under time and ignorance. I was fading into a forgotten mess and still trying to claw my way up, reaching for absolutely anything that could pull me out.

“Hello?....Johnny?”

I gasped as my body yanked upright. My room was stuffy and heated. My sheets stuck to my sweat drenched body, clinging like a second skin. I looked down at my hands that were slowly coming into view as i blinked away tears.

“Johnny???”

I looked around in the darkness of my room. I had no idea where that voice was coming from. Was i just imagining things? Was i even actually awake? I spotted my phone, the screen glowing as it showed an ongoing call to Eri. I picked it up, trying to even out my breath. “H-hello?”

“Dude, its like 4am. Why are you calling me?” she sounded groggy and irritated.

“So-sorry. I uh...i think i might've rolled over onto my phone and dialed you. Didn't mean to wake you.”

“You sound out of breath. Did you call me while you're fucking someone?!”

“No...seriously i’m not. I-i-i gotta go.” I hung up instantly, not wanting to dwell in my weakness. I didn't need her to know about my suffocating anxiety forced night terrors. I didn't need anyone to know about those. I wasn't sure if i rolled over onto my phone or picked it up and dialed her in my sleep. I assumed i had done it more so on accident. Who knows how much thrashing i did this time. I laid back down, kicking off the sticky blankets and instead focusing on the dozens of messages i had missed in the group chat since i had fallen asleep.

The Boys Group Chat

Jae: the king has been bested lol

Taeyong: ohhh shit what happened now?

Jae: the one night stand turned into another fuck

Ten: wait he fucked eri again????

Jae: 😂😂😂😂😂😂

Jae: yup

Ten: holy shit

Taeyong: holy shit is right

Taeyong: thats like...

Taeyong: i mean hes never done that

Jae: not since we became friends

Jae: its been like 2 yrs since we met too

Ten: oh how the mighty have fallen

Johnny: can yall not???

Johnny: like i can literally read everything youre sending

Johnny: i havent fallen anywhere

Ten: hell yeah you have. Youre literally trapped now

Johnny: im not fucking trapped. Its done and over with. Were not gonna fuck again

Yuta: ok bro whatever u say tbh

Johnny: get out of here yuta

Yuta: 👅👅👅👅👅👅

Taeyong: dont listen to them. Ten and yuta drool over her every time she comes near them. Theyre like addicted or something

Taeil: ive seen you commenting a few times on her ig ty. Seems like theyre not the only ones addicted

Taeyong: ive literally just liked a few of her posts! So fucking what? That doesnt mean anything!

Taeil: you were literally staring at her at the party

Taeyong: yeah because you were trying to do your innocent boy schtick!

Ten: ty no matter how much you want to deny it you want her too

Johnny: shes literally not that great. I was just horny today after class. Yall need to chill

Jae: ok but if you hook up with her a third time then we know ur for sure whipped

Johnny: fucking choke. Pls.

Yuta: once you get used to her she aint so bad

Johnny: im cool. Trust.

Ten: hes too vanilla for her lolol

Johnny: fuck off. At least i dont have to like strangle myself to get off

Ten: awww chokings fun j-suh. Im surprised she hasnt asked you to do it yet

Johnny: well i mean like

Johnny: she kinda leaned into my hand a bit

Johnny: on saturday i mean. But it was weird so i just moved it

Ten: lmaooooo pussy

Yuta: dude just do it. She just gets this look in her eyes and its fucking insane

Jae: can yall not right now? Im about to puke

Taeil: im sure shes fine having normal sex. You act like every waking moment with her has to be kinky

Johnny: i havent had any complaints yet either

Taeil: yet? As in youre actually planning for another time? Lol

Johnny: GOOD NIGHT ASSHOLES

ten: #whipped

Yuta: #johnnyiserisbitch

Jae: then what does that make u two?

Yuta: her fuckin doms, dumbass 😂😂😂

Jae: what does that even mean????

Taeyong: even i know what that means jae damn. How dumb are you?

Jae: its just weird! Idk!

Yuta: it means when ten and i fuck her we control everything about her

Taeil: jfc

Ten: its a gift what can i say

(Downloading picture)

Johnny: Yuta are you fucking serious rn bro?

Taeil: Did you really take a picture of her tied up and gagged?

Yuta: lmao yeah. why fckn not? its hot

Johnny: how many pics of her do you have?

Yuta: lol so fucking many

Ten: ive got videos too 😏😏

Yuta: i mean theyre all up for grabs in case you want em 😜

Taeil: dont you think you shouldn't be sending those without her permission?

Yuta: i can dm u them

Taeil: yeah tbh

Taeyoung: youre just as bad as everyone else

Taeil: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

Johnny: cut it out

Ten: boo yall are no fun at all

Yuta: anyway just dont fuck her again or else ull get trapped

Johnny: like you two are?

Ten: guilty tbh

Yuta: mood

Jae: yall need to sleep

Jae: asap

Jae: and stop bugging me

Taeil: mute the damn chat duh

Johnny: i gotta get back to bed too

Johnny: morning shift tomorrow

Taeyong: wack but same

Taeyong: ill see you guys

Ten: nighty nighty tae tae😚😚😚

Jae: ten ur gay is showing. No homo

Ten: literally all the homo. Anyway tell us again if you fuck eri

Ten: and ill let you know what happens on thursday ;)

Johnny: id rather not know and not fuck her again if ur gonna touch her

Taeil: i mean u basically already have so….

Johnny: shut up

Yuta: 😂😂😂😂

Yuta: dumbass

Taeil: im dipping out but ill let you guys know if she comes to the library ✌👅

Jae: eww dont talk about that

Taeyong: stop being such a kid and just go down on her

Johnny: off limits for damn sure

Ten: i'm telling you she wont keep you around if you dont

Johnny: good lets keep it that way

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