#also HAPPY NEW YEAR MAY THIS YEAR BE BETTER AND KINDER THAN THE LAST

[n0tamused]

Can we have some fluff pining with Mortefi? Or just fluff in general pre relationship? Pls?

A/N: Hope you enjoy, anon! <3

-Ah, sweet old Mortefi, that grump is not the most open individual when it comes to his emotions. He doesn't even like bragging about his own genius inventions or ranting about the effort he had to put it, let alone be open about something as trivial as love

-Mortefi wasn't raised in an environment with the luxury of such emotional freedom, and for the biggest part of his childhood he only knew irritation and anger. Had he been younger, his approach to his current predicament would've been more aggressive, if nothing else

-But he is a man grown, and mature way past his years, and he knows the fragility and importance of these feelings he harbors so deep within himself

-So, when he began noticing tell-tale signs of love and longing forming and tying themselves around his heart all because of you, he began to wonder when these feelings began. 

-He softens towards this new wound in his heart that he couldn't complain about..he doesn't remember when he last felt this way and it was certainly new and worthy of his curiosity 

-Mortefi will not approach you for a long time in regards to these feelings, he'd much rather bury his nose in his works and overwork himself with endless projects 

-But ever so slowly you notice his lingering presence. It's not overwhelming, and you get rather comfortable with him around. He is always there if you run into any problems, how convenient.

-He still longs to be close to a person, to share company with someone dear to him, and he tries to make it as comfortable for you both as best as he can and as best as he knows how to. This would often be after work hours, inviting you over for deserts, be it at a restaurant or his own place where he makes dishes for you himself

-He isn’t a fan of the fast food industry so you won’t catch him buying anything of that kind, yet if he knows you like a certain fast food brand he may gift you a packet of your favorite snacks, or even better- he’d create something better than that brand. He has no lack of materials or knowledge on this, so in just a few days he’d present you with a box of your favorite flavors, just don’t press the issue too much, he may become a sassy or snappy

-A simple thanks will do.

-He expresses his care through these gifts and acts of service that aim to make your day better and easier and he is noticeably softer towards you, a bit kinder in his word choice. But he also never falters with guiding you through your problems with a firm but caring hand

-At times he may come to avoid too much eye contact with you, especially if he is too caught up thinking about these growing feelings he has

-It takes a long time until he comes to terms he will either have to fess up or learn to live with these feelings. The latter is more probable, as he doesn’t wish to make you uncomfortable by just admitting his feelings when you may not even return the sentiment

-But if you show the same interest back? And state it clearly without any mixed signals? Well, Mortefi couldn’t be more relieved and happy.

-He does go out of his way to make the confession sweet but not too flashy, he is not a man that likes that much attention in general and that hold up even stronger when it comes to his love life

Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.

[anachrosims]

2024 CREATION WRAPPED! A Personal Creative Overview, & A Simblr 2024-Thank-You-Letter)

Here's all the things I uploaded this last year. (Skip past the +++++'s to get to the emotional and fluffy part.)

This isn't to brag, or to boast. I want to map out the creative journey I've had this last year since moving to a new state to start a whole new life.

I nearly became homeless at the end of 2020, and if I hadn't found the job I'm at now, I would have. I've endured severe depression, mild vitamin C deficiency, and a benign growth that has been absolutely crippling as it's literally been sucking my life away; on top of the deaths of two people I never would have made it this far without, while holding down a high-stress, high skill job in logistics.

I am proud to have gotten this far, and I'd like to illustrate that the last year, despite my exhaustion, I still did something. I wish I had done more, wish I could have done more creatively, but I did what I could do.

When the hours and minutes are painful and long, every victory is monumental.

Here's the lineup:

STATS:

11 total "sets"/uploads

66 total packages across all sets and item types

477 swatch variants, on objects that had more than 1 swatch

2,565 wall swatches between all wall heights

5 wall sets, with 19 unique total template variants, all using every wall height and each with at least 12-24+ colorways

1 floor, with 42 swatches

9 terrain paints

5 CAS items across 2 CAS sets, with 2 total PSD files, 1 for each respective set

3 portrait frames, 2 of them using unique, from-"scratch" meshes, texture maps, etc, with 118 total swatches between all 3 packages

2 faux magazine cover template PSDs

30 total objects edited, remeshed, recolored, or created wholesale

+ + + + + +

PORTRAITS!

Of portraits I've created, here are some of my favorites, plus their stats:

STATS:

105 total portraits, including edit variants (painting edit vs photo edit)

Portraiture eras range from the 17th century to the mid-late 20th century, with most portraits set throughout the 19th century

Arthur was still the most-used model; however, a wider variety of models exist than in the previous year, including Jack, Atlas, Marianne, Anna, and Amelia

+ + + + + +

That's all the images Tumblr will allow in one post, and that's about all I have energy to calculate.

However, something that isn't quantifiable is how grateful I am for the support of my followers, mutuals, Patreon (free + paid) members, those who reply/comment and those who just lurk, those who download and post pictures of my CC and those who quietly enjoy it on their own time, and all.

I wouldn't be here on this hellsite, or in this community, without you all existing here to. The Simblr community does a lot of complaining--I've done my fair share of it, I know this, I am an emotional, petty person at times and I am trying to... well, do that less-- and we've also done a shitton of creating, sharing, all for these weird little pixel dolls and worlds. I can absolutely say that this and the Tumblr RP community are the only communities that have really come through in terms of longevity and liveliness in the last 10+ years. I'm still here because of all the damn good things, like the above, and the support people show for each other here. It's really unlike anything else online.

I just want to say... thank you, to everyone. May this year be softer and kinder than the next. May we find the strength to build a better world from the ashes of the previous, in defiance of the fires that continue to take so much away. May we find the faith to envision a better world, and the courage to live.

Thank you again, for all your support, kindness, and for being here in this community.

Happy New Year. x

[lumenflowered]

OOC: Right so the readmore just entirely gave up on my new and hopefully final intro post, so. Fuck it, we ball, I'm putting my OOC info here.

Hi. I'm Hope, you may find me elsewhere at @ofstormsandfire where I am routinely not remotely normal about my favorite fictional characters. One of said faves is Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower, because I am really enjoying Bloodborne and also she's just. She's just a really cool character okay. Yes I know she has four lines it's about the ~implications~ y'all.

Last summer, a lot of my friends were getting really into pokeblogging so I made one myself, but I have not gotten anywhere near as invested with any of my other ones as I have with this one. Because I had the thought, the critical thought that started all this, that was "oh hey, people are throwing their faves from other pieces of media into here, I could totally do that too."

And then, near the end of November last year, I thought for too long about how hilarious it would be to throw someone from a tonally incongruous piece of media like Bloodborne into the comparatively much kinder world of Pokémon.

And then I thought for too long about how I could throw this woman who was, in all likelihood, extremely traumatized at a world far kinder than anything she'd ever known before. About how this could be a journey about healing, about falling back in love with life.

...And then I came up with the blog url and it was really all over for me from there.

My own ramblings on how this blog came about aside, Bloodborne is a horror game, it is normally fairly dark. Canon-typical themes for Bloodborne will be present, but I'll do my best to tag for anything that isn't your usual pokeblogging fare and if you'd like anything I'm not already tagging for to be tagged, just lmk, I'm happy to.

And now, assuming my readmore works here (I have my suspicions as to why it isn't on the other post) have some navigational tags under the cut!

Story tags!

#firebird arc: I combined the Radio Tower takeover and the Ho-oh subplot, made the Kimono Girls more relevant, and ramped up the stakes. Ho-oh is a firebird and I think there's a type of rocket called the firebird. I like puns.

#from the ashes arc: Giovanni became an actual threat, there got to be an entire Rocket base in Tohjo Falls, and Silver got traumatized more. Mind the tags and also the warning OOC post at the beginning.

#kanto rocket arc: There wasn't much to do in Kanto so I had Rocket start causing problems on purpose. Silver transed her gender and Giovanni... seemed to no longer be a problem at the end of it.

#downpour arc: Starting soon! First post in the tag is an OOC post explaining a little about what I have planned, there's a few others that are foreshadowing/buildup for it, and then once we're formally starting I'll make another OOC post with more detailed warnings.

Character tags!

(...I really should think about making a character tag for Ade at some point. That would require going back and tagging so many posts and I don't actually have an idea for her yet, but maybe sometime in the future.)

#passing stranger: Dee (better known as the Plain Doll in Bloodborne canon) is here! And is now on the blog full-time because I love her and it made thematic sense! The earliest posts from her are from her 24-hour takeover back in February, before anyone knew who she was in-character and Dee was then very invested in keeping it that way.

#milf time and sonboy hours, #milf time: The first tag was specifically posts from Ethan and Reina, but Tumblr stole my yellow and I think stealing it back broke the cut on the other post so I'm not going to risk using it here. Ethan might show up again occasionally, Reina is more likely to show up on her own though. She likes birds and may or may not have had a bisexual awakening when her kid brought a Faller home.

#rainbow wings: Posts from (or sometimes relating to) Ho-oh. They don't post that often but they're a giant rainbow bird they can do what they want. What they want, when they happen to be online, is generally for injustice to Not Happen. Good luck buddy this is the internet.

#the first to fall: The Hunter from Maria's world taking on the role of the player character in Bloodborne. Her name's Mallory, she got the Childhood's Beginning ending for people that means anything to, and she was a Faller in the other direction before dragging herself and Dee into the world of Pokémon. (And, unintentionally, Maria too. She's probably the only unintentional tag-along, though. Right?)

#what's with this sassy lost child?: Posts from Silver, before she got her own blog at @cosmic-crobat. These days she mostly uses her own blog, but she'll still get blue text when she shows up in recordings.

Misc other tags!

#ask game: Reblogs of ask games and responses to said ask games. This one isn't chronological.

#hints to the future: Specifically, responses to that one ask game with the gear emojis that lets you hint at future events. I am always accepting asks for this one no matter how long it's been since I last reblogged that ask game. I like hinting toward what's to come and I like writing prose.

#glimpses of the past: That one ask game with the hourglasses that lets you see into the muse's past. Again, always open because I love writing prose and I can write out prose for things that have already happened this way.

#pelipper mail: It's open, it keeps happening, it keeps causing problems. Note that while I do not have magic anons on, if you're sufficiently creative with Pelipper Mail and it isn't too story-breaking you can probably get a similar effect to a magic anon that way.

#sword lesbian things: Silly and fairly self-explanatory. For when Maria's doing things with her sword, now that she has it back.

#the death hole: Scarvio DLC spoilers! Maria decided to Pelipper Mail herself to Paldea to help a friend. The death hole lived up to its reputation, and she will probably be Pelipper Mailing herself to try and solve other people's problems by ignoring her own more often in future.

#the vampire allegations: Silly tag for posts involving the recurring jokes about Maria being a vampire. It keeps happening, due to her entire aesthetic and also me deciding she can be allergic to garlic for coincidental and completely mundane reasons.

[onehundredandeleventropicalfish]

About your last meta, since TV series Dream is going through his character development more rapidly(changing Gault into a dream, admitting he was wrong and apologizing to both Gault and Lucienne, saying that he will try to listen more) do you think he'll survive his tragic fate? I'm desperately hoping he does

honestly, i've almost written so many metas on this, and never ended up posting any, because the short answer is i just don't know

but if you want my evidence either way...

reasons the ending may change

everything is kinder in the tv show. the world it's working towards is just a better place. john not killing rosemary, unity and desire's relationship being consensual and meaningful, the changes in tone to sound of her wings, the fact that dream seems actually open to calliope's suggestion of reconnecting rather than just outright saying no, the corinthian actually taking care of jed rather than just stuffing him in the trunk of his car, i'm sure there's more i can't think of right now, but this adaptation is astoundingly accurate, most of the scenes are taken from the comics word for word. whenever a scene isn't lifted directly from the comics, i invariably find it's more hopeful than what was originally there

when neil was asked why john didn't kill rosemary, one of the things he said was that he didn't want comic fans to think they always know what's going to happen

as you mentioned, the entire gault plotline. dream's entire problem is that he doesn't believe he's capable of change. by making him realise that one of his nightmares is, that's certainly setting some kind of precedent! (and, while i'm not assuming neil won't pull a bait and switch here given the disparity between what lucifer's actually planning to do to dream and what it sounds like they are, "a new age" is certainly a Choice of line if you're planning on killing dream five years later)

rose and lyta. first off, rose is allowed to remember what happened to her, which immediately gives her a lot more agency over the plot. and she knows lyta a lot better, which means that lyta has a support system in the show that she did not have in the comics. if daniel goes missing, in the show, rose knows the entire story, and she's gonna take that straight to dream, if she can. i am sure the "if you have the power to destroy the world, then you have the power to destroy him!" "i don't want to destroy him" line is going to be relevant in the future

reasons it may not:

daniel's still a character. one way or another, i don't think morpheus is going to make it through this and remain dream of the endless

there's no changes made to desire and dream's last scene, where dream talks (in vague terms) about how that was a murder attempt desire just did, killing family will bring the kindly ones down on his head, like desire vowed to do way back when (and given one particular mason interview where they talked about looking forward to the audience understanding all the backstory behind that conversation, i believe this line is still foreshadowing, dream will still have to kill orpheus and lyta will harness the kindly ones against him)

i think the addition of matthew to the scenes in hell adds a lot to later comic scenes (see: this post for more on that)

tragedies are a specific form of storytelling with their own rules, they're not the same as "regular story, but you made the characters lose at the end". sandman, as a story, follows the rules of a tragedy. and as much as i would also like good things for dream, in order to tell this as a story with a happy ending, a lot would have to change right from the start. which, just personally, i don't really want it to, because a lot of the scenes i really like and find the most meaningful of this story would probably have to get cut or heavily modified to support that new story

and further on that, just from a writing perspective - in a story with a happy ending, tension is created by placing obstacles between the characters and what they want, things they have to surpass and fight for. in a tragedy, getting what the character wants has to be so easy, if they were anyone else in the story. tension is created through the fact that everyone involved can see the exit out of the tragedy, it's right there, but the qualities that fundamentally make the character who they are are the same qualities that keep them from acting.

the conflict in this story is undoubtedly between dream and himself. his need to abandon this burden that is far too heavy, vs his inability to take any action that runs counter to his duty. and it's made interesting by who he's placed in opposition to. what is the point of lucifer as a character, of destruction, if dream could listen to them? if watching someone change for the better could actually change him, then what's the rest of the story? he's already learned that from gault, you could cut it right here. and sure you could test that a few more times, but if we were writing a story about an immortal being who learns they're not beholden to their universe given duty, who has to overcome millenia of responsibility and feeling like they're not really a person in order to realise they're in control of their own life and can live how they choose - that's already lucifer's story. and destruction's. why aren't we writing about them, instead?

one of the big questions we ask in storywriting is why here, why now, why this person? and what makes dream unique is his utter unyielding dedication to the rules and to his responsibilities. and that means that, despite every other character in this story pointing out the glaring neon exit sign from the tragedy, he could never have done anything other than what he did

and you could do it, don't get me wrong. if you wanted to write sandman as a story with a happy ending, you could take dream down a path of learning to be someone else, to change enough that he's no longer the character that gets grabbed by the tragedy (though it'll still be a tragedy for lyta). and if we were gonna do that, and do it well, season one has been a good setup for it. but that's a different story, that will require different challenges, ones that actually make him learn, rather than making the situation progressively worse with every challenge he ignores. and it really comes down to i don't know how much neil is willing to entirely rewrite his masterpiece like that

i think s2 will tell, one way or another, because season of mists is where the tragedy properly starts. as much as i ended up writing a longer thing under reasons why not, that's just because they were more complicated concepts to explain, i genuinely cannot predict what neil is gonna do here. every time i think about this i feel like my opinion falls on a different side. but like i said, whether you're aiming for tragedy or a happy ending, you have to sow those seeds early on, or it's gonna leave the audience feeling betrayed, no matter which you choose. preludes and doll's house, they're early enough and unconnected enough they could fall on either side. but i think season of mists is gonna make it evidently clear

[traveler-at-heart]

Expecting... a happy year

A sequel to The Grinch Plus Her Two

Summary: You want to make the perfect announcement for Natasha’s family. The problem? They can’t take a hint.

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader - Pure Fluff.

A/N: May this year be better, kinder and brighter for all of us. And thank you to everyone who has liked, shared or commented on my fics. I love sharing this with you and I look forward to writing more stories! 

This is a special gift to @inlovewithfaberry :) 

Winter days brought peace. It felt amazing to cuddle with Natasha, a blanket covering both of you as you laid on the couch. The only thing that worried you was announcing your pregnancy to her parents.

On New Year’s Eve of all nights.

“It will be special no matter what” Natasha protested when she saw you looking for announcement ideas.

“But it has to be perfect”

“Detka, don’t put too much pressure on you, ok? They’ll be happy if we just tell them when they arrive”

“I’m with Y/N on this one. The only grandbaby they’re getting from me is Fanny so might as well make it memorable” Yelena said behind the fridge door.

“You’re not helping” Natasha glared and you buried your face in a cushion.

“Not now, children” you warned them.

“Come on, let’s take a nap and then we’ll think of something”

“I have to clean”

“I’ll do that, you guys get some rest” Yelena said, busying herself with some Chinese leftovers and a fortune cookie. She cracked it open and read the message hidden inside. “Three can keep a secret if you get rid of two” she chuckled. “These are so silly, I love the messages. They’re right, too. Want to keep a secret? Eliminate everyone that knows it”

“I hope you won’t say those things to our child when, or should I say, IF you babysit them”

“If? That is so rude, Natalia”

“Shhh” you pushed the cushion against Natasha’s chest and sat up. “That’s it! I’ll give them fortune cookies with the news! Yelena, you are brilliant!”

“Ha! Hear that, sis? I am brilliant”

Natasha rolled her eyes and followed you to the studio.

“So the nap is out of the question, huh?”

“After we tell them, we’ll take all the naps you want, baby” you promised, pecking her lips and squeezing her hand. “And after the team knows as well”

“No, let me do that, please”

“Ok. Only if you promise it won’t be an email thread or a group text”

“Will you settle for a video call with a cute filter?”

“No” you said with a smile and kissed her again, before leaving for the kitchen. “Think big, Romanoff!”

—

You felt energized as you checked the cookies one last time and then you joined Natasha at the foyer. She could tell you were nervous when her parents’ rental car pulled into the driveway and you shuffled, looking at your feet.

“Why not just tell them we’re expecting…”

“Expecting who?” Alexei interrupted, carrying pots and gifts.

“Only you two, come in!” You said, relieved that your father in law hadn’t picked up on the meaning behind the conversation.

“Hello, girls. Y/N, you look great as usual” Melina said hugging you tightly.

“Wouldn’t you say she’s glowing?” Natasha quipped and you turned around to squeeze her cheek.

“Aren’t you a total suck up, sweetheart” you pinched with more force than necessary. “Come on, get us some appetizers”

“Whatever you say”

“Whipped” Yelena coughed but before Natasha could pick up a fight, Alexei carried the blonde, his voice booming across the room.

“My little girl! Tell me, how is Fanny? We bought her a present as well. Right, Melina? She’s…”

“No, please Alexei don’t say it” Melina pleaded.

“Part of the family!” Alexei declared and Melina relaxed.

“Oh”

“Like a grandchild” Yelena added.

“No!”

“Mama!”

“She is dog, Yelena; it would be like me saying my pigs are my children!”

“You named one after me!”

“Food, everyone! Let’s eat!” you interrupted what had become their usual argument. You were eager to get to the part where they opened their fortune cookies.

“Chicken and mashed potatoes, just like at home! Thank you, Y/N” Alexei celebrated and you smiled to him across the table. “We also brought pickles”

“For the vodka. And selyodka pod shuba” Melina pointed at one of the containers they brought. Yelena grabbed some of it and then passed it around to you. “It’s herring with beet salad and mayonnaise”

“Oh…” you said, but as soon as you had the first taste of it, you knew you were screwed. “I have a great wine to go with this”

“Goes great with vodka too” Melina said after you.

Walking out of the room to the kitchen felt like a race against time. Especially when you were sure you were gonna puke your guts out if you didn’t take the herring out of your mouth.

“All good, detka?” Natasha walked in on you throwing away a napkin with the food and chewing on a piece of chocolate to rinse your mouth of the taste.

“I don’t have food cravings yet but I sure as hell have aversions” you informed her and she chuckled. “Also, all that vodka”

“Yeah, our Russian celebrations aren’t pregnant friendly. Let’s just tell them and get it over with”

“Fine” you nodded and allowed the redhead to lead you back to the dinning room.

“Fortune cookies!” Yelena announced as soon as you walked in. “Y/N wants to start this new tradition where we open them right in the middle of having the second dish and more vodka”

You looked at your sister-in-law with an appreciative smile and nodded. Natasha helped you settle back on the table. Alexei practically pulverized his cookie, forgetting about his strenght.

“Papa” Yelena said, followed by a string of Russian words.

As Alexei and Melina were too busy unfolding the papers inside their cookies, Natasha took away your plate with the herring and you relaxed against your seat.

“Your family will grow soon” Melina read with a smile. “Oh, do you think that means…?” she turned to Alexei and he nodded, grabbing her hand.

“Girls… we are adopting a kitten”

“What?” Yelena said, confused.

“We had our doubts but fortune cookie told us what we needed to hear”

“No. That’s not what it meant” Natasha interjected but you stopped her.

“We’re so happy! To celebrate we could play charades after this!” you realized your tone was borderline hysterical at this point.

“Oh, we are very good at the charades”

“I seriously doubt that” Natasha muttered and you kicked her under the table.

“Your father is confusing charades with other things” Melina informed them.

“I don’t even want to know” Yelena pleaded, downing another shot of vodka.

—

“I’ll keep score” you offered once everyone settled for the game.

“Dad and I will be on the same team”

“Fine. Natasha and I will crush you” Melina said, taking a seat next to her daughter.

You held out the bowl with suggestions for Yelena but she declined.

“I got this”

She made a sign with her hands to say “movie” and “two words”

“Flower… eh… roses… rose!” Alexei guessed based on her movements. “Virgin, religion, praying… Mary. Rosemary’s baby!”

“Yes! Ta-da!” Yelena clapped pointing at you.

“Sit your ass down” Natasha hissed, ignoring the bowl with papers as well.

“What? What did I do?” Yelena whispered, sitting next to you.

“You’ve never seen that movie, have you?”

“It’s not about cute babies?”

“Just Google it”

“Girls, please” Melina sushed you, turning her attention back to Natasha. “Three words. First word… eeeh” the redhead pointed at you. “Y/N? Ok, got it” Natasha circled her stomach, making it seem bigger than it was. “Fat? No, Y/N is not fat, that is very rude, Natalia”

“I don’t think that’s the word” you chimmed in and Natasha frowned, clearly frustrated. She decided to pretend she was craddling a baby, swinging her arms back and forth.

“Y/N is a baby?” Melina guessed. “Aww Natasha, that is so sweet”

“Hold on” Alexei said. “You mean like cute baby or baby because she cries a lot”

“Oh my God!” you stood up with a huff and took Natasha’s hand. “I’m PREGNANT. We’re having a baby”

“Oh!”

“A baby!” Alexei laughed and lifted you off the ground into a bone crushing hug.

“Careful” Natasha asked, searching your eyes for any sign of pain.

“We’re good” you said once he set you down again.

“Oh, this is wonderful news!” Melina went and hugged both of you. “You will be great mothers”

“And I’m gonna be the coolest aunt in the world” Yelena screamed out the window.

“She…”

“Yeah, sweetheart. Enough vodka”

—

“That went well” Natasha mocked as you laid in bed, mentally exhausted from the anticipation of telling your in-laws.

“No gender reveal party, no baby shower. I want nothing” you mumbled against your arm. Around halft past eleven, Yelena and her parents had decided to go and check out the fireworks to celebrate the new year while Natasha stayed by your side.

“Does that mean that I can break the news to the team?”

“Yes. Fine. Whatever.”

You saw her out of the corner of your eye typing frantically on her phone.

“Aaaand send”

“Turn it off” you warned her once the device rang like crazy with messages and calls. “What did you write, anyway?”

“Uh…”

“Natasha?”

You reached out for the phone and opened the group chat.

“Alright, which one of you fuckers got my girl pregnant?!” you read out loud, the volume of your voice increasing with each word.

“What? It’s memorable!”

“Sorry I married an idiot, I am pregnant and it’s both our child, OBVIOUSLY. Happy New Year, everyone!” you said the words as you typed them, a frown on your face. “There. Now go sleep on the couch”

“Detka” she pleaded, kissing your ear and surrounding you with her arms. “Please, I want to stay here and rub your back and kiss your neck”

“Mmm” you melted against her embrace, the stress of the day making you sleepy. “I’m mad at you”

“I know. And you can stay mad at me until next year which will be in… three… two… one”

In spite of yourself you chuckled and turned around to peck her lips.

“Happy new year, baby”

“Happiest year, my love”

[the-badger-mole]

Congratulations! You have now been teleported into the world of Avatar The Last Airbender, what advice do you give each of the characters?

OOOO! I love this! I have so much advice to give so many characters! Okay, let's see...

Katara: It's okay to be vulnerable. It's okay to be the one who gets taken care of every once in a while. Your strength is undeniable, but you can't shoulder everyone's load. It's not fair to ask of yourself. Surround yourself with people who give you the space and freedom to be vulnerable, even if in the middle of it, it gets a bit ugly. You deserve support and love and understanding even at your lowest points.

Now that the war is over, take a step back and ask what do you want? Forget what's expected of you, or what ahem someone else may want. This is your time to forge your own path. Your friends- your true friends- want to see you grow and be happy and do amazing things. If along the way you disappoint someone's expectations, that's fine. They will either get over it or get out of your way. You're bound for incredible things. Don't dim your shine to make someone else look brighter.

Zuko: I really can't do much better than Iroh, except to say this- you are not your forefathers. Whatever evils they committed may color how people see you at first, but they don't define you. You're not destined to make the choices they made. You are far kinder, stronger, braver, and more compassionate than any of them. That has nothing to do with one side of your bloodline winning out over the other, and you don't have to worry that someday something will shift in you and turn you into Ozai or Sozin or Azulon. The fact that you're even worried about it means that you won't make the same choices they made. Now, you may not be the perfect Fire Lord, but it's not fair to expect yourself to be. War is messy. Recovery from war is equally messy. You won't undo 100 years and 3 generations' worth of damage in your lifetime. Focus on giving the next generation a solid foundation to build on and you will have been more successful than any of them.

Keep yourself open to receiving constructive criticism, but also make sure that you're keeping yourself open to receiving love and support. The people who love you will not go out of their way to make you feel bad about yourself. They will not make you feel they aren't safe to confide in. Love will help you to see the best in yourself and be there for you to lean on when things get tough. It will not threaten or berate you. It will not betray you or insult you for expressing doubt or fear. Don't accept less than you deserve.

Toph: You're amazing! You're smart and talented, and when you allow yourself to be, you're a darn good friend. I know it's hard to not bring past trauma into new relationships, but you don't need to be on the defensive all the time. You have done a good job surrounding yourself with people who love and fear you. Keep letting them in- especially if they happen to be offering the nurturing care you missed from your family of origin. It's okay to give people a second chance after they've hurt you, and it's also okay to set firm boundaries with them.

I cannot stress this part enough- DO NOT BECOME A COP! You are way too talented to waste your time and energy using your bending against the poor and downtrodden to protect the property of the rich. If you really want to be involved in the field of law, consider becoming a defense attorney. You can stick it to the rich jerks and save people who have no power themselves. That's just a suggestion, but there are literally thousands of other much more worthwhile things you could do with your time.

Sokka: You've done a lot of growing and self-work in a very short amount of time. Kudos! We love a king who can admit when he's wrong and learn a valuable lesson about being sexist. Now take that same energy and apply it to your sister. Acknowledge all she's done for you over the years (to her face, and preferably with a nice gift), and then do your share! You are too old to have your little sister have sole responsibility of keeping you fed and your clothes right. You know that's not going to fly when you marry Suki, so practice sharing the load with Katara.

Aside from that, you're a bright, charming, occasionally funny young man. You're going to go far, kid.

Suki: I don't have much to say to you. I don't know you that well, but what I do know of you, I like. You're a strong, capable young woman who understands that you don't have to be all warrior or all woman. That's amazing honey! There are older women than you trying to figure out how to balance the different sides of themselves, and you've started to figure it out before you've even finished being a teenager. Keep it up! Don't ever let anyone make you doubt yourself.

It's amazing that you were able to help Sokka see the error of his sexist ways, and I hope you continue to call him out when you see him doing something stupid. However, it's also important to remember that his growth is not your responsibility. You can offer advice and point out blind spots, but his growth is his responsibility.

Aang: IF IT'S NOT A YES, THEN IT'S A NO!!!!!!

No one owes you a relationship. You do not get to violate anyone's personal space. If you are interested in someone, talk to them about it. If they aren't interested (whether it's a no, or an I'm not sure), BACK. OFF!! That's not an invitation to pester them. That's not a challenge for you to change their mind. Leave them alone! If they change their mind, they can tell you. If you ever approach anyone disrespectfully again, I will arm them with pepper spray.

Your point of view isn't the only one that matters. You have been given a huge load to bear at much too young of an age, and there's a lot of pressure on you. It's okay to be overwhelmed, but in the end, you need to be willing to share your burden with the people who love and support you. Listen to the advice of wiser people. They may not be able to understand the unique challenges of being the Avatar, but they have far more life experience and understanding of the world's complexities than you have. Your own wisdom is based on concepts you only have a 12-year-old's understanding of. Work on continuing to grow in your understanding and be humble. Other cultures have worth, too.

Hakoda: Look, I get it. You're doing your best. It's not your fault that you missed so much of your kids' growing up, but they need you. Take them home for a while. Put in the time to get to know them again. Now is not the time to jump right into a serious relationship. Especially not with a woman that is trying to open up your home to a soft invasion of the Northern Tribe. Give yourself time to breathe, grieve and take account of what you and your family and your tribe need. You are a father and a chief. There are responsibilities in both those roles that need your attention. That's not to say you can't date at all, just be wise and remember that it's not just you that will be affected by your choice.

Iroh: Listen... you have done a great job with Zuko. You provided as stable and loving an environment for him as was possible, and in no small part thanks to your influence, he's a kind, compassionate, selfless young man. He's exactly what the Fire Nation needs, but you dropped the ball, Iroh. I get it. It's been a long life and you've put in a lot of work, but with all due respect, you're not freakin done! IF YOU DON'T TURN YOUR BEHIND AROUND AND GET BACK TO THE FIRE NATION, I WILL KICK YOUR TEA SODDEN BEHIND FROM STREET TO STREET! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???

Zuko is 16. He's just been given this huge responsibility that he has never been prepared for, surrounded by people he can't trust, and you are the only consistent guiding presence in his life. Why would you leave him? What were you smoking when you made that decision? What on earth makes you think Ba Sing Se wants you back, Dragon of the West? I know you've done a lot to make amends for what you did, but what you did was lay siege to that city, and it's insane that you think they'd want to buy tea from you now that they know who you are. If it means that much to you, open up a tea shop in Caldera. Just make sure you're close enough to Zuko to help him navigate his new role, you befuddled meatball!

Ty Lee: Girl...go back to the circus. The Kyoshi Warriors is not for you, and you deserve a clean break from everyone back in Caldera. Go live your best, sparkliest life, queen.

[pendragaryen]

Happy new year's eve and all the best, most of all lots of health, to all of you, my dear followers, mutuals and friends. May 2023 be better to us, much healthier, more peaceful and lucky than 2022. 🍀🍀🍀🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Yesterday suddenly my little dwarf hamster fell ill. He sneaks around very slowly with his little eyes half-way closed and he eats and drinks almost nothing anymore. This came so out of the blue. He's just a tiny bit over a year old now. The life expectancy for dwarf hammies is about two years. I thought we got more time together... It's hard to see him like this, like it always does with every little hamster friend I've had before too, but he sleeps most of the time, he even falls asleep while eating a bit. And he sleeps peacefully and calm, he doesn't make any sounds of discomfort. So I hope he's just taking more well deserved rests now. Consulting a doctor would be far too stressful for such a tiny animal like him and in his state as it is now. So I just try to get it as comfortable as possible for him. Sleep my dear Bobby. Sleep. And I hope it will be painless for you in the end.🥺😢😞

And of course this has to happen in a time, where my sister has to fight down her only recently discovered cancer desease... wtf... Can it please STOP already? All of that pain? I don't want it anymore. My own health is a huge construction site either, which makes nothing better...

Oh god i have so many hopes and wishes for the upcoming new year, you have no idea. Please, PLEASE, let 2023 be kinder to us all! PLEASE! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻💪🏻✊🏻🕯🕯🕯🍀🍀🍀🍀

Anyway... too much about me. More about/for you: I include each and everyone in my wishes for the new year tonight and please have a good time with your loved ones and a very happy start of the new year then! Thank you for all your patience with me, your kind and empathetic words throughout the last weeks and months (since everything was getting worse for me since july, where my own endometriosis desease started to get much more painful and the first steps to another surgery were taken). Thank you, you are the kindest bunch of people someone can know on the internet, I mean it. Lots of love and hugs, dear fam!

See you on the other side😘 (Also: I did a thing to cheer myself up a bit today...😇👇🏻🤫 Disclaimer: The original photo is not mine.)

[ladyandherbooks]

Overall I’m really happy with how Ryeon and Joong-gil’s story ended in episode 16.

That their closure and healing was not rooted in or because of their feelings for one another. Because there were other things that had caused them pain, such as Joong-gil’s hatred of the RM team and his lack of sympathy for suicidal people, his amnesia and Ryeon’s lack of desire to live. 

It was only after Joong-gil regained at least some of his memories that they were both able to start to heal, atone and move forward together. It allowed him to atone for his cruelty towards her by defending her and sacrificing himself to ensure that she could save her dearest friend and in doing so the Risk Management Team, ensuring that they can continue to save more lives instead of being shut down. 

And then their conversation while he was in isolation finally gave them the clarity and closure on the last 400 years of pain, trauma and confusion. Ryeon finally got his sympathy and understanding as well as getting to see him starting to become a happier and kinder man, not the man she once knew centuries ago but one that will be stronger and better than that Joong-gil ever could have been. And Joong-gil knows why she never told him about them, lets her know in his own way that he still cares about her, is able to explain why he behaved the way he did and that he finally understand why the importance of the Risk Management team and her desire to save these desperate people.

And Ryeon accepts this and walks away from all their shared pain and trauma and he stays so that he can not only continue atoning but also consider what he needs and wants and who he is going to be, now that he knows about his past, his pain and them.

That part of their life together is over, they are no longer living in the past and are now just starting to take their first steps into tomorrow. Some things, while beautiful and happy have to change e.g. the Ryeon-ah instead of Bu-in is as good example. The latter belongs to their former selves while the former, with it’s newness and intimacy can represent this new phase of life that they are embarking upon and what it will bring to their ever evolving relationship.

And yet somethings will always remain they same, they just grow and adapt to a changing life and world. Because Choi Jun-woong was right, their ties together may have been severed forever but their feelings for one another still remain and it’s now up to them to decide where they go from here. They will always love one another, no one will be able to compete for their place in one another’s heart. It’s up to them, now in a position to defy fate and not subject to the whims, pressures and limits of a human life to determine and choose exactly what they want and when they want it. 

And we see that happening in their final together, they’re both lighter and happier than they have ever been, able to interact and joke with one another in a way that they never had before.  They’re already on their way to a happy new chapter of their life and story together, but for now the two of them are just enjoying the ride. 

[teamhawkeye]

New Years Resolutions

Here are just a few resolutions I’ve been thinking up for myself over the past week or so:

1.) Be healthier. I actually made big strides this past year in being better and more conscientious of my health, especially after lagging in the previous year due to the pandemic and isolation getting to me. I want to go even further in this next year, and get back to where i was at the start of 2020 before the world turned upside down and me with it.

2.) Be fearless. I have been very fortunate to have made some great new friends in the last year and a half, but it was largely from others reaching out to me first and not the other way around. I also have done some more writing and drawing this year than in the past two, but have not been as willing to share them for others to see, feeling particularly susceptible to judgment and scorn. I know the pandemic has made me more shy and more comfortable to retract into my shell than be perceived. I want to step away from this in the new year - i want to be able to start conversations first again and put forth my creative works without fear of rejection or ridicule. I can’t control how others perceive me, but i can control how i perceive myself and my worth and i know i am better than the last few years in isolation have tried to convince me I am.

3.) Be kinder. To others and myself. There’s a noticeable pattern of negativity and hostility anywhere you go across the internet - I don’t want to contribute to it ever again. When others tear someone down, I want to help build them back up. When I think of something kind about someone else, instead of keeping it to myself, I want to share those thoughts and spread kindness and positivity. There will always be people out there waiting to be mean or taunt me and my accomplishments - I don’t ever need to do that to myself. I can love myself and that’s not a sign of ego or narcissism - it’s essential to happiness and being able to be your best self. Always remember that the opinions of the loudest and most hateful people out there matter the least.

Happy New Year! May everyone be their best selves and stride forward with progress and good fortune on their side!

[quantumspacetime]

21 Things I Learned in 2021 (A Year-end Review)

Since the first week of the new year is officially over, I have been thinking about the little things that I've learned last year. I've been through a lot this past year, particularly in the first semester. I've had so many ups and downs that I can no longer count them with the fingers of my two hands. In each of the challenges that I got through and rewards that I've earned, I always collect lessons that will definitely help me become a newer and better version of myself. Here are some of them:

It's okay to make a decision that hurts your heart but heals your soul : It's difficult to give up on something because sometimes, what the mind already knows, the heart still doesn't feel. It's hard to make a decision that I know will certainly hurt, but I've learned that I should be the one who needs to initiate the process of healing.

Sometimes, you don't get what you want because you deserve better : It's frustrating when you have to accept that what you need is not what you want, and what you want is not what you need, but trust in the timeline of the universe! It sees you and it knows what you deserve.

It's brave to prioritize your own happiness over fulfilling other people's expectations.

Self love is realizing that you are enough, just the way you are : as cliché as it may sound, comparing yourself to other people will only do more harm to yourself than good. 

One’s mental health is a priority, just like one’s physical health is : I’ve learned that maintaining my mental stability is just as important as maintaining my physique.

If you are recovering from something, you’re not defined by your relapses, but by your decision to remain in recovery : you’re allowed to trip and have shortcomings, but what’s important is never falling off the wagon and your commitment in continuing to improve yourself.

It’s okay to step back until you feel like you again.

Stop lying to yourself.

Just because you are available for a relationship, it doesn't necessarily mean that you are ready for one : Relationships take a lot of time and energy; it's not as simple as "wanting" to be in one. It requires patience, understanding, and extra tender loving care to sustain even the most basic kind of relationship.

Redefine the definition of “normal” and it’s okay to challenge the norms.

Change can be scary, but it doesn’t need to be : Finding yourself under new circumstances, whether it be good or bad, can be overwhelming. However, crisis can also be an opportunity - as long as you develop a challenge mindset. 

Step into the arena : It's easy to stand on the sidelines and it's hard to step into the arena. It's scary to put yourself out there, to expose yourself, to become vulnerable. But it makes all the difference! Get off the sidelines.

Learning and unlearning never stops.

Work Intelligently : Most people are not wired to work in the morning. Modern work culture is a remnant of the Industrial Age—long periods of steady, monotonous work. If your goal is to do inspired, creative work, you have to work when inspired, then take a rest and repeat.

Make a habit of doing what you love and what you know is good for you.

Never settle for something uncertain : when given the chance to map out all of the possibilities of a particular decision you are about to make, take decisive actions! Leave no room for uncertainties because it will only fill you with regret and no one wants that.

Say "Thank You" and show gratitude more often.

It's not your loss if and when people intentionally leave you behind.

Build new circles : I can't stress this enough but try to find new connections and meet new people because it helps to find solace in the company of people who shares the same principles in life as you. It can also be beneficial to meet new people who don't agree with everything you say because it helps you understand and learn new perspective in life.

Practice healthy communication with the people around you.

Stop invalidating and start being kinder to yourself : the world is cruel enough as it is, be patient with yourself.

This was my attempt at abstracting the chaos of my 2021 into something of value for others. It was a crazy year and I feel very lucky to have built myself stronger through the ups and the downs!

Here's to manifesting a kinder, stronger and more fruitful 2022 filled with happiness and love and acceptance! ✨👏🥂

[the-bed-gremlins-reading-list]

First of all! HAPPY NEW YEAR! May your 2022 be calm, relaxing, happy, and peaceful!

I’m still alive. Doing much better in terms of my frame of mind than I was at the end of last year. I started painting again - and now I’m writing again too. I’ve got more of the prologue typed up than I expected to at this point but I need to decide if I’m going to do most my writing in the Twine engine itself or bully myself into learning Tweego.

I am, however, back in college. And I will need to look at picking up a part time job very soon and so how much time I have to work on anything has dramatically dropped once again.

A few things on the projects: I’ve decided to postpone working on Oracle for a while. The more I’ve tried to write it the more I’ve realized that I just really don’t like the cop-aspect. So I want to rework it but I’m going to let that percolate in the back of my mind and simmer on the back burner for a while since it completely changes some of the character dynamics that had been planned (and were plot forces) so things need to get reworked there.

In the meantime PK is coming back from the dead - just like her protag.

I’m aiming to get the new prologue published by the end of March. I will probably take down the old version once I get to about the 75% mark on my writing that way anyone new who stumbles across this isn’t looking at old material.

One major note: I’ve decided to rework Eydis almost entirely (again) because the character as she is now just doesn’t click for me. There’s something missing so I’ve decided to scrap her and start from scratch again. The new version will still have connections with the Stone Knights, but rather than being an independent merc will probably be a fully integrated part of the crew. Eydis will also, likely, get a new first name that my dyslexia is a little kinder to because I, without fail, have to double check my notes every single time when I type her first name.

So, if anyone is particularly in love with some aspect of her character let me know - I’m not sure which parts actually resonated with people.

[fallinfl0wers]

May request prompt

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love." Unbalance Shadow - ZOOL

For Haruka from i7 please?

7. “Even if we’re far apart, I’ll keep singing for you with all my love.” Unbalance Shadow - ZOOL from the lyric prompt list! thank you for your request!! i love haruka so so so much, he's my favorite character in i7! >< also! i'm trying a slightly new format that i'll be aplying to my future posts! i'll also start editing the old ones just beause,, yeah i think it looks cute. the colored letters aren't part of the format, but i felt like they fit here so lol on a slightly sadder note, the first draft of this got deleted on accident and i had been sulking about it for a while but lol here we are warnings: gn reader, light hurt/comfort, fluff, long-distance relationships, set sometime in the future of i7's story, though this is pretty much fluff without plot,,, word count: 1623 words

"Up next are Natsume-san and Isumi-san, three minutes!" the voice of a staff member makes him look up from the screen of his phone, where he had been aimlessly scrolling down on his SNS while the hairstylists did his hair.

"Yeah, understood." He answers, putting his phone down on the table as a makeup artist retouches his makeup.

The young idol then walked alongside his unitmate to enter the dark stage, adjusting his in-ear monitor as he sat down on the chair preppared for him beforehand, surrounded by the expectant, excited whispers of the audience who waved their lightsticks in support for their favorite idols. Scanning the audience with his eyes, he clutched his microphone.

The spotlights landed on the two idols as the music started to play and they could hear the cheering of their fans before they quieted down, in order to hear their singing.

"I wandered, lost in my loneliness like a desert without roads."

Haruka Isumi didn't need anyone at his side to be the best, everyone will just drop him the moment the next shiny, newest toy appears in front of them. At least, that's what his experience had taught him.

"There, a single, tiny flower became the melody of love."

Then everything happened. ZOOL happened. But more importantly, you happened.

He, who didn't care for almost anything anymore, became infatuated with you. He fell in love with you, who always looked at him and appreciated him, you, who always supported him and never laughed at him.

"My tears suddenly fell, shaking the green leaves."

You, who helped him through each and every one of his worst moments and were there to laugh with him during his best moments, you, who were both his best friend and his dear, dear lover.

"Wow, 'the weaker you become...'"

You, who always supported him on his dreams and were the first one to congratulate him on everything he achieved.

You, who he was now supporting as you walked to your own dreams.

You, who were walking towards your dreams, far, far away from him.

"(So, don't look back)."

"'...the kinder...'"

You, who he hoped woke up earlier than usual today just to see him singing live even if it was through a computer.

"(Sharing, big love)."

"'...you'll become.' Your gentle warmth taught me that."

You, who taught him everything he knew about romantic love, who showed him that there was more to people than hatred and betrayal. So warm and gentle, you always made him feel like he belonged somewhere.

But you're not next to him, not anymore. Not physically, at least.

But, that's alright. It hurts, it hurts so much and it makes him anxious constantly even if he'd never admit it out loud. But that's alright.

"Like the falling rain, we are not alone."

That's alright, even if it hurts and it brings scary, unwanted thoughts into his mind, it's alright. It's alright, because he knows you're doing what you love just like he is.

And it's alright, because he's not the weak, arrogant crybaby he was when you met. He's stronger now, he has grown up, he's mature. He can handle this. He can keep this going. He can support you without crying every night for your absence.

"Beneath this wide sky, even if you're on the other side of the world, I'm thinking--"

"--of you again today."

It's alright, because he knows you've grown up as well, he knows neither of you is a stupid, oh so stupid and inexperienced highschooler like when you first met. He knows, you both can be stronger than this distance.

"(Unbalance, Unbalance)."

"Look, the crescent moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

He knows this, and still...

He can't help but get worried, sometimes.

"(Unbalance, Unbalance)."

"I want to envelop everything..."

He can't help but worry that you'll get tired of this. Tired of him always being busy, of your schedules never matching, of how he still has to keep you as a secret to protect you from the tabloids and his crazed fans. Worry that you might find someone who has less trouble giving affection, someone who can love you better than him.

Though all his worries wash away, everytime you send him a picture of his newest merchandise that just arrived to your apartment and a cute stamp through RabbitChat at ungodly hours for him, followed by the usual voice note saying 'i love you'.

He knows you have your own fears about it all, as well. But he's told you, over and over again, without ever feeling annoyed, that he only has eyes for you, no matter how many pretty actresses and idols try to snatch him away, the only person he loves in that way is you and only you.

There has never been anyone else but you inside his heart.

You're the only one Haruka wants to spend his whole life with, the only one who can fully understand him and love him.

"...Just as the gentle wind loves the sea..."

And no matter how longer you may have to be apart, how many people you both will meet and how many worries there will be in between before you can next meet again, he wants to and will make sure to remind you daily that he loves you and will love you until he takes his last breath.

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love."

He lifts his gaze to look at the camera with a content sparkle hidden in his eyes, once his next line comes around.

"I wish you--"

("I got a scholarship to finish my college studies overseas, Haruka!" You told him a couple years ago.)

"--happiness."

("I'll be here waiting for you to comeback when you're ready." He called your name that night at the airport, hugging you close before you took off.)

"This seed of happiness that I touched exists to protect the person I love."

("It must be hard for you, isn't it? You don't need to call me every day if you're too tired to do it. I can wait for as long as you need.")

"Our words dissolve in the twilight."

("Nonsense! I... am, tired, but! You must be tired too, right? Get some rest, I'll hang up if you promise you're going to rest too!")

"That seed of happiness that you touched reaches out to someone I don't know."

("I saw that selfie you posted with those two from ainana, I'm so happy to see you really have friends!" "Why did you even doubt that?!" "I worry about you, since I can't see you everyday and all that...")

"Because the circle of love that connects us lights up tomorrow."

("I miss you." "I know, I miss you too." "Let's try to meet during my summer break?" "I already told you, didn't I? I can wait for as long as you need, dummy.")

"Look, it has started to rain."

("Isn't it almost midnight there? Go to sleep." "But I wanna talk more with you..." "You're so hopeless... Go on, sleep, I'm not going anywhere until you sleep." "Hehehe, can I get a lullaby from you before I sleep?" "There's no helping it, right? You really get needy when it's late at night." "But you love anyway, so it works out...~")

"I want to envelop everything, Shadow."

("...Yeah, I love you.")

"Today's live was amazing, Haruka!" Your voice tells him through the phone while he layed down on his bed, late at night in his timezone. "Everyone was so cool, but you were the coolest! The whole time you were on screen I was all like 'Yes this is my boyfriend just look at him go he's so amazing!!!'"

He chuckled at your words, a loving gaze softening his gaze while he listened to your voice.

"I know, right? Praise me more, praise me more~ But only after you tell me, did you sleep early yesterday to wake up early today?"

"I totally did! I wouldn't miss one of your shows if I can help it!"

Though most of the times you couldn't.

He still felt his heartbeat race up at your support.

"You're so cute, did you know that?"

"Eh-? Why tell me that all of a sudden?!"

"Because..." He yawned. "I want to." You went silent for a second, before speaking again.

"You're tired, aren't you? You should go to sleep..."

"No... wanna talk to you more..."

He can already hear your tender smile just from your words alone.

"Go ahead, Haruka. You did well today, you deserve some rest."

"Do I get a lullaby from you to sleep?"

You chuckled.

"Yeah, of course. You are so needy when it's late at night..."

"Like you're one to talk."

"I know, I know."

He smiles, hearing you giggle through the phone.

"I wish I could hold you until you fell asleep right now... But since I can, you'll have to do with me singing my new favorite song for you~"

"'s okay, I like your voice. I'd listen to your voice the whole day if you wanted me to."

"Then... I'll start..." You cleared your throat, and he couldn't help but smile to himself again when he heard the lyrics of his duet song with Minami.

You're not a singer like he is, and you of course haven't trained your voice for as long as he has, he knows that and he still loves the sound of your singing voice.

He drifts off to sleep with your voice as his lullaby, and he knows you both hold true to the lyrics for as long as you need to.

"Even if we're far apart, I'll keep singing for you with all my love...~"

[aelaer]

Hi friend! You seem vast in your knowledge of Stephen and willing to share so please enlighten me as I don’t read the comics but I do watch the mcu movies, and do love Stephen.

I know he’s erratic and impulsive and reckless sometimes but didnt we already complete this arc in his first movie? Especially since we’ve watched him deal with the consequences of his actions for the entirety of the film and end of the movie Stephen was a different Stephen from the beginning of the movie.

IW Stephen seemed like a more mature version of the man we’ve met at the end of his first movie, a linear progression of the character, more responsible.

The spider man trailer is just a few minutes so I’ll further reserve judgment till I see the film, but he seems.. silly almost? I’m aware he has his funny moments but I’m just nervous they’re gonna make him the joke instead of having him make the jokes.

Do you notice anything weird about how the adults act in these newer marvel projects.? (I’m thinking of loki specifically) they all have a silly undertone to them? I cant put my finger on it but it’s definitely new and ..off

Is this a constant characterization for Stephen in the comics? Is this what he’s like all the time?

Regardless, thank you for your time if you see this xx

Oh yeah, Stephen's my favorite subject at the moment so I'm happy to give my thoughts!

Note that my answers apply to MCU!Stephen and what we've seen in the four films he's been in.

I know he’s erratic and impulsive and reckless sometimes but didnt we already complete this arc in his first movie? Especially since we’ve watched him deal with the consequences of his actions for the entirety of the film and end of the movie Stephen was a different Stephen from the beginning of the movie.

In my experience of just living, there are personality quirks that can be tempered out and made better, but not entirely eliminated, even if it's undesirable. In my opinion, Stephen's need to push himself and prove that he can Do A Thing is a trait that won't ever go away--especially as that trait has helped him more than hindered him. Examples would include the more mundane such as getting through a combined MD/PhD program and inventing surgical procedures at what is still a really young age for a neurosurgeon. We don't have a canonical age for Stephen, but Benedict was 40 when Doctor Strange was filmed and released; even if he's canonically in his mid-40s, that's still very young for him to be at his caliber after the necessary years of med school and residency in the United States. He's young and nowhere near the end of his career when he gets in the car crash. So with that information in mind, we know that he's very ambitious and throws himself into doing difficult work with gusto. That doesn't even go into everything he did as a sorcerer.

Why get into all of this? Because while we, the viewer who has seen the multiverse open at... some point (possibly, in a rewritten timeline, it's always been open now with what happened in Loki!), we have seen just how nuts it gets. We have seen the consequences. Stephen's smart, but I don't think it's a matter of strictly recklessness and more a combination of ignorance on this specific subject (erasing memories across the world or slightly rewriting time-- we don't know how he's doing it, but a memory spell makes more sense to me), hubris (of course), and the real desire to help Peter out. The latter two traits combined in intelligent people have proven bad in both fiction and reality.

The reason I don't think it's pure impulsiveness is because in the trailer, we see Stephen doing some meditation type thing in the underground area before the spell. He's also always doing research and as he tells Peter he'll help him, he clearly knows of a spell already and has some working knowledge of how it works. The conversation with Wong wouldn't have happened otherwise. But I personally get the vibe off him that he'd not do it without being very confident that he can do it -- and his history in the films has shown 0 failures in any of his spells once he's past novice-level, so in that aspect, his confidence makes sense. If he *should* do the spell due to the risks of failure, and lack of practicing precaution in the face of his confidence, is where his flaws lie, IMO. And in that sense people could say he was reckless for deciding to perform a complicated, dangerous spell, but that follows his M.O. completely -- he performed a very complicated, dangerous spell consistently with the Time Stone again and again, from how the sorcerers spoke about the Infinity Stone (and he casually just... throws himself into a time loop, then to look through time. He takes calculated risks, but they are very much risks).

One last thought on this statement - the biggest, biggest lesson that Stephen learned in his first film was that it was not about him. There was more to the world than his glory and his brilliance and even his happiness. He started doing things for the greater good rather than himself. And he started doing things for others -- fighting for the Sanctum in his own film, and protecting the Earth. Serving something greater than himself. But that doesn't make him suddenly humble, and it doesn't suddenly take away his strange (hah) sense of humor.

IW Stephen seemed like a more mature version of the man we’ve met at the end of his first movie, a linear progression of the character, more responsible.

He was more serious in that film. So was Tony. They still had some quips and arguments, but they were very serious. And it makes sense as to why -- it was the end of the world. So the mood of the setting would change anyone's demeanour. But he had very little chance to unwind in that film, considering that he was trying to protect one of six items that would destroy the universe, and also got freaking tortured in the middle of the film with little time to recover. But nearly every Avenger was super serious in that film, and for good reason.

It's a completely different setting from what is now Stephen's life which, from what little we've seen in the trailer, is weird enough that he got a magical snowstorm in the Sanctum. It's safe enough that Wong's off on vacation. It's been nearly a year since he returned from the dead. He's either figured out how to move on in the last year or, as some prefer, has gotten good enough to put on a facade and bury the trauma so far down that he's putting on a normal act - but that's up to debate until MoM. And we have no idea if old traumas are going to be brought up there or if it's just the new things.

I think the point is that it's possible to be both a responsible person and also to make colossal mistakes due to either emotional connections or hubris (or both - we don't know which way the film will go, if they'll explain it at all). They're not mutually exclusive. He can be protecting reality fantastically, while also believing that he's skilled enough to pull off the ability to pull off a dangerous spell which he did in his own film and in IW. He's guided the timeline down a specific path in IW/Endgame, after all - what's a little identity item compared to the fate of the universe, after all? Removing the Spider-Man/Peter association is, in comparison, child's play I imagine to a man like Stephen.

The spider man trailer is just a few minutes so I’ll further reserve judgment till I see the film, but he seems.. silly almost? I’m aware he has his funny moments but I’m just nervous they’re gonna make him the joke instead of having him make the jokes.

Do you notice anything weird about how the adults act in these newer marvel projects.? (I’m thinking of loki specifically) they all have a silly undertone to them? I cant put my finger on it but it’s definitely new and ..off

He was definitely silly in his own film. He was constantly trying to get Wong to laugh and there was a banter between Stephen and Christine after he gets stabbed. He's always been a bit awkward and a bit jokey--I think Thor showed that combination of humorous snark and good research rather well, though he was flippant in a way that didn't get to show his kinder side that is better established in his film. And now we get to see that sympathy in his agreement to help Peter (at least, in my opinion).

Because he was doing an amazing awesome spell not once, not twice, but *three* times in the trailer alone, I am not worried about Stephen just being a joke. He seems just as powerful as he was in IW and Endgame. The rest of the world is just getting reminded that he's definitely a bit of a socially awkward duck at times (or, if you prefer, Putting On a "I'm Fine" Front And It's Coming Across As Weird). So him being a big joke is not something I am personally worried about.

Situational humor has been a staple of Marvel films since Iron Man. I watched the films casually before 2016 when I fell head deep into Stephen Strange (or well, 2018/9 is more accurate as that's when I *really* went nuts), and my viewings before that time and after that time was a lot more analytical. And it's very easy to see where the silliness started, all the way back when Tony crashed into his own car and Dum-E sprayed him with a fire extinguisher. Thor was the butt of the joke in the "fish out of water" scene in a good, good chunk of the film. Even Captain America had some situational humor. And remember that Guardians of the Galaxy was back in 2014, which was halfway through the MCU's time thus far. The stars of these films are almost always the butt of some joke a couple times and do things that could be viewed as childish.

I don't know your age at all, but if you were born after 1990, what might be happening, rather, is that they are not getting sillier, but that you may be getting older. I was an adult (legally, at least) in 2008, but the way I view the adults of the films throughout the early 2010s as compared to now is night and day. It's just come with my own life experience, and wider understanding to media tropes. The jump is even more significant if you were younger in Iron Man/Avengers days and are an adult now. If you're an older adult than me, then I'd argue it's the matter of life experience adding to your overall knowledge of media plus, potentially, rose-tinted glasses giving you a better vision of the older movies while forgetting that the older movies had plenty of their own flaws (and silliness). Could be a lot of things- it's too individual to really say why your perspective has changed. But I don't think the MCU's largely changed their comedy formula since 2012/2013.

Is this a constant characterization for Stephen in the comics? Is this what he’s like all the time?

Oh the comics are a mess of characterizations. It's very difficult to find full consistency across writers, and some writers did him much better than others. At the moment, Jason Aaron's 2015 run is viewed as very good by a large amount of fans, while Waid's 2018 run is viewed with mixed reviews. It's largely a matter of preference as you'll see traits that are just so uncharacteristic in an arc and then it never happens again. He takes on secret identities, he kills billions to save trillions (along with the other Avengers!), he sells his soul, he's in a steady relationship for 30 years, then he's sleeping with a new woman every arc he co-stars in-- it's just so dependent on the writer over the decades. What Marvel thinks will sell. Right now Marvel thinks his death is gonna sell issues, so yeah :P You pick and choose with the comics and build a personality from there.

Thank you for the thoughtful ask. I hope this wasn't too much of a drag to read through; I get rambly on my favorite subjects. Or anything, really.

[themusicplayedherlife]

To Love is the Greatest Gift

1. The Return

pairing: obi wan kenobi x f!reader (past!din djarn x f!reader) characters: f!reader, anakin amidala-skywalker, padmé amidala-skywalker, mentiones of din djarin, obi wan kenobi, others word count: 2.6k+ warnings: angst, fluff, mentions of rent: the musical (death, second chances) uh... I think that’s it? summary: au!it’s never been the right timing for you and obi wan kenobi; maybe this time will be different. a/n: i started working on this story so long ago it’s ridiculous, but I suddenly had a surge of motivation to continue this story after some tragic family news. this was also very much inspired by @martlands and their amazing obi wan stories, made me want to write my own and here it is

all || next

“You broke up?”

One would think that the immediate reaction to someone asking if you broke up with your significant other would be to cry or begin to ask them what could have possibly gone wrong. But that’s not the reaction you give. 

The reaction you give is just a shrug and a strong pop, as you spoon more gelato onto the little spoon his twins love collecting. “Yep.”

“After only three weeks of dating?” Anakin doesn’t know why he’s surprised, but he is. This is probably the shortest living relationship you’ve ever had. “Why?”

“Why not?” you answer easily, nonchalantly and you know it frustrates him. “It wasn’t working out, so we decided to call it quits.”

Not even a month ago, you had been genuinely excited about finally getting out there and meeting someone new, and even more excited when you were telling him all about this person you met while out with some old friends. You had said, word for word, “he might be the perfect contender!”

Where did all that excitement go?

You sigh, finally looking up at him and away from your white chocolate gelato that's just to die for. “Ani, it’s fine. It just didn’t work out. It happens.”

He grimaces. “What happened between you and Din—“

You bristle at the mention of your ex, narrowing your eyes and his widen in defense. You know what Anakin and Padmé think of him and it’s not entirely pleasant (particularly from Anakin’s part). It’s completely unfair. Din is lovely, sure a little socially awkward, but lovely nonetheless. “Has nothing to do with why Gar and I ended things.”

“But—“

“Nothing,” you reiterate with a bit more force and he sighs, lifting his hands in defeat while holding his own cup of gelato.

“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry.” And then, like a light switching, he turns playful. “Was it his name that turned you off—Gar?”

You resist the urge to groan and roll your eyes. “Oh maker, you are annoying!”

You huff as you make the trek back to the trolley that’ll take you both up to the observatory. The rest of your conversation is forgotten as he navigates it towards continuing to tease you and the latest exhibit you had helped set up.

The Coruscant Observatory is one of the most popular attractions in the city aside from the Exotic Animal Sanctuary (where most zoologist work to help rehabilitate wild animals before reintroducing them back into the wild, only housing the ones that have been assessed to not be able to function in the wild on their own—which are unfortunately many).

Your place of work is known for its large, ground telescope; its monthly constellation exhibits; the multiple planetarium theater rooms that house lectures, activities, star projections, etc.; and its Astronomer Q&A program where visitors can ask astronomers questions and even get a tour of the space station.

However, most of your days are spent in your office, planning for the next exhibit or actually executing them with your team; meanwhile, Anakin spends them in tech, sometimes maintaining the telescope, other times helping with IT issues, but mostly making sure the theater rooms worked perfectly for their 4D immersion.

(You like to joke that out of the two of you, he has it easiest; sometimes he’ll run by your office to get to another part of the building while you’re doing something and you’ll yell out, “slacker” and he’ll respond with, “you just work too much”.)

“Are Padmé and the twins stopping by today?”

“Not today, maybe tomorrow,” he says as you both step out of the trolley along with a few tourists. “I think today they decided to stay for some school thing.”

“Shouldn’t you know what that school thing is?” you chide him out of jest.

He scowls, there’s hardly any heat in it and it makes you grin. “It’s a music performance that the CN Theater is putting on.”

“Ah, and we all know how much musicals bores you.”

“I just don’t understand them,” he murmurs defensively as you climb the few steps leading to the entrance. The two of you smiling and greeting Rex at his security post and bypassing the ticket gate with your IDs.

“You mean you don’t have any taste,” you tease.

“It’s weird! I mean, most of them are all about tragedies and betrayals. What happened to the good ol’ romance and happy endings?”

“Not all of them are tragedies, Casanova.”

The main rotunda lobby is full of people milling about, looking at maps or the foucault pendulum in the middle of the room. Low chatter fills the room, shoes clicking and clacking against the marble flooring.

“Name one.”

Spotting the trash can and recycle bin, Anakin holds his hand out for your disposable cup and spoon and throws them away in their proper bin.

“Rent.” There are probably better examples, but you had been listening to the original cast album the night before and have all the songs still stuck in your head.

“Don’t two characters die?”

“Angel and Mimi.” You nod. “But Mimi is brought back to life by Angel, and is given a second chance at life.”

“She may have been brought back to life, but that doesn’t take away from the fact she died.”

“I’m not arguing with you on that, I’m just saying the ending was hopeful—not necessarily a happy ending, but it left you thinking—maybe things can get better.”

“And that’s not what I’m looking for. I’m looking for—“

“What you and Padmé have?” you ask him as you both reach the door of your office.

He pauses, mouth opening and closing before finally rubbing the back of his head sheepishly and saying, “Yeah.”

You smile, genuine and happy for your childhood friend. Who would’ve thought that years ago when you introduced them, they’d be here years later—married and with twins. You and Anakin sure as hell didn’t. For most of your childhood, you both believed you’d live out your life on Tatooine, hang with the same friends you’ve known since your pre-kinder days and eventually get married to each other—much to the dismay of your parents—because of benefits or whatever, until your parents decided they wanted to send you off to a private school in one of the major cities, derailing your and Anakin’s plan (for the better, if you’re being honest).

“You’re still coming over for dinner, right?”

“Yeah,” you answer, unlocking your office door with your key. “I have a meeting that might go over the expected time, but I should be able to make it on time.”

“Just let us know,” he says, rapping his knuckles against the door frame. “But you better be there! We have some planning to do!”

You roll your eyes and wave him away, promising he and his family will definitely see you at five. With a hearty chuckle he salutes you and leaves the door slightly ajar, just like you usually do. It’s your “you can come in to ask me questions, but knock first, please” visual telling.

With a soft exhale, you drop yourself into your creaking office chair, eyes landing on the first picture on your right—a younger you, only 18, fresh out of your uniform smiling wildly with a large bouquet of flowers that you can still distinctly remember the smell of.

“I am in love!” Padmé exclaimed, squealing in absolute delight at the flowers put in your hand.

Blue eyes crinkled with amusement, staring down at you. “Are you?” His voice was low, teasing and almost smug. He had obviously heard the gasp that escaped your lips when he presented you the colorful bouquet created with your favorite flowers that his father grew in their little garden.

“Irrevocably,” you answered, not able to hide your smile as you gently held it against your chest and smiled up at him. “They’re beautiful, Obi. Thank you.”

Obi Wan’s arm is wrapped around your shoulder, caught in the action of a booming laughter. He was always laughing in pictures. There isn’t a single picture you have of him that he isn't smiling.

Your finger gently trails over his smiling face. Maker, you miss him.

Is he still traveling? Or has he finally settled down again? Will he show up and spring some unexpected news on you again? Stars, you hope not. Shit didn’t go as planned last time and it probably wouldn’t again.

Your hand falls limply and you swivel in your seat, looking out the large glass window overlooking the majority of the city and sigh softly—an exhale of wary hope and sadness.

A bird soars by your window, it’s wings flapping effortlessly, diving before flying higher and away.

He’s not coming back. You know this. Coruscant just isn’t the same anymore. Not when he feels this city has taken everything from him.

One more year visiting Gui Gon without him.

The meeting runs longer than it usually would, just like you had expected. Checking the time, you let out a curse and quickly throw your belongings into your car.

Without wasting time, as soon as you switch on your engine, you place your phone on the dock and say, “Hey C-3PO, call Padmé.”

“Calling Padmé,” your phone’s AI answers through the speakers of your car.

“Are you outside?” Is how she greets you. There are loud noises in the background, children squabbling about something or another, and Anakin’s weary voice trying to rally them. 

You snort, pulling out of the undergroundparking lot. “Not yet, barely got out of my meeting and am on my way.”

“Please hurry, the twins really want to see you and are dying from hunger,” she says, amusement in her voice and not at all trying to hurry you. “They might start eating Anakin soon.”

“Hey, don’t bite that!” He yells from a distance.

“Hurry, please!” you hear over the phone—Luke. “I miss you,” he says, closer now. Which you immediately reply saying you miss him too, almost cutting off the next voice.

“And I’m hungry!” Leia’s voice follows his, practically yelling into the phone.

You laugh fondly, just imagining the childish glee on their faces at your scandalized gasps and your exaggerated “me too” answers.

“Leia, no yelling,” Padmé scolds her, gentle and kind. “Softer, please.”

“Sorry,” she says. “I’m hungry,” she repeats, softer, almost a whisper.

“Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be there,” you promise. “If not, you have my permission to start eating your dad.”

Leia and Luke break into a fit of laughter, yelling something away from the phone to Anakin, who once again lets out a loud, “Hey!”

Padmé chuckles, moving away from the voices of the children tackling their father and their play fighting. “Take your time, we’re not in any hurry to start eating. The kids had a hearty lunch and a snack after school.”

“What about you and Anakin?”

“We’re fine, don’t worry. Just get here safely and we’ll see you soon.”

You end the call with one last reassurance from her and let out a loud sigh when your car comes to a stop behind a long line of glaring red lights—traffic. You hate traffic.

You might be surrounded by blinding lights and different models of vehicles, but it leaves you alone with your thoughts, the low hum of your engine and music from your stereo drowned out by the chattering in your head. 

It’s never just one thing that you think about. It can go from one thing to another, to all of them trying to climb over eachother and be the most present: your friends; your family; the dog next door; Din and Baby; cinnamon apple cookies; the beach house in Naboo; sneaking out of the prep dormitories at 2am with Padmé keeping an eye out and Obi Wan holding his arms out for you; rose gardens and peach tea; freckles on blushing skin; drunken singing in a small living room; 21st birthdays crying in a bathroom stall; that stupid movie quote about choosing life; death; but sometimes (most occurring) it’s Obi Wan that weaves into every thought.

He’s a constant plague in your mind, has been since the first time he left Coruscant in search of himself. 

Sometimes they’re pleasant thoughts, memories kept in a nostalgic trunk that you occasionally like to sift through. Other times, they’re not so pleasant; those are the ones you constantly struggle with, try to push into the recesses of your mind and keep them under lock and key. But for some stupid, strange reason, your mind only ever remembers the bad, even when there are better things to dwell on.

“I just—I just don’t understand why you have to leave—Obi. Obi!” you practically yelled, watching him move around his room, grabbing and throwing things he pulled out into his duffel bag. “Listen to me!” 

He didn’t stop, not until you reached for his duffel bag and plucked it out from his hands. He stared at you, his duffel bag carelessly thrown to the floor with his clothes spilling out. 

Your breathing was labored, a sick feeling swimming in your stomach, words stuck in your throat now that he wasn’t hiding his beautiful blue eyes from you—his devastatingly heartbroken eyes. “I have to,” he finally said, breaking the silence. “I need to leave. This house—this city, it's suffocating me. I can’t—I can’t stay here anymore.”

“Obi… Obi, please.” You can’t leave me. You can’t! Please! Please, Obi.

“I need to do this for me, darling. I’m sorry.”

You should’ve fought harder that night, should’ve convinced him to stay, but instead you helped him pack again with tears obstructing your view and sobs escaping your lips. Maybe if you had, you wouldn’t have lost him.

No, your breath stutters as you lean back into your car seat, there was nothing you could’ve done. Either times. He had made up his mind long before that night.

A car honks their horn to your left and you jump, eyes focusing once more on the red lights of the car in front of you. You wipe at your face harshly and straighten your spine. 

That was years ago, little one. Shake it off. 

Sighing softly, you look up at the street name and make a turn onto the Skywalker residence street, your shoulders relaxing when their two story home comes into view.  

Shake it off.

Parking isn't easy to find in their neighborhood, not when it’s so close to the observatory and some of the most visited parks in the area, but you manage to find one just two cars away from their house. 

Gathering your things, you lock the door behind you and quickly make your way down the sidewalk, phone in your hand and typing out a message that you’re here.

It’s while you’re hitting send that you don’t notice the body in front of you, staring up at the house with an almost wary expression on his face, or how his eyes widen when they see you. It’s not until you collide into his body, soft with a fleece cardigan, that you notice him. Embarrassment begins to boil in your blood as you quickly apologize to him, berating yourself for not being more aware of your surroundings.

“Kriff, I’m so sorry—“ you start, but the apology catches in your throat when you look up.

“Hello, there.” Blue eyes, so soft and kind, like the ones you once used to dream of stare back at you—so unlike the pair of eyes you saw years ago. “It’s been a long time, darling.”

You can’t shake him off.

next

[vsilas]

Trans Snape Week Day 1: Reflection

(I wrote this a while back, thinking about a depressed and closeted genderqueer Severus teaching and eventually becoming friends with the absolute treasure that is trans girl Luna Lovegood) 

When Luna Lovegood first arrives at Hogwarts, Severus has no idea what to make of her. She is so unflappable and confident and despite the way the world treats her she refuses to engage with its cruelty. Instead, she sees the wonder and beauty in absolutely everything, including Severus. This is understandably distressing for him. How can this lonely, bullied child not become terrible and bitter, all sharp edges and jaded eyes? What’s more, Luna is unwaveringly kind, not just to others but to herself. Severus is resentful without fully understanding why. He lashes out at her in class, but then she just looks at him with those big pale eyes like she can see the exact shape of his pain. That terrifies Severus. Whatever it is that’s reflected in her gaze is so unthinkable that he flinches away from her. He slams up his occlumency shields and tries ignoring the girl instead.

That strategy doesn’t really work with Luna, however, and eventually Severus gets to know her better through making her transition potions. He has to familiarize himself with a whole new area of magic and the process is both enlightening and deeply uncomfortable. Severus wonders if maybe this is what he wanted as a child, before Tobias’s sneers, and the Marauders’ taunts and Lily’s bemused laughter made it clear that femininity is not something he was allowed to desire like that. No, perhaps not this exactly, but something...

It’s no use wondering anyway. What Severus wants has never mattered. It can’t matter. There is no room in Severus’s life for anything other than a quiet self-loathing which allows him to keep doing Dumbledore’s bidding, and eventually return groveling into the clutches of the Dark Lord. No, there isn’t room in Severus’s life for anything vain or sweet or self-indulgent. 

At least until Miss Luna Lovegood waltzes into her first Potions class and forces Severus to confront the possibility of kindness.

In her second year, Luna becomes good friends with the Weasley girl after Ginny hexes some boys for throwing around slurs. Severus feels like he is losing his mind – the werewolf is back, Black is a murderer on the loose, Potter Jr is as insufferable as his father ever was, and there is a bullied little outcast being defended by a feisty redheaded Gryffindor. Everywhere he turns, the castle reflects his bitter past at him. He knows he can’t ever escape being that angry miserable boy who confirmed everybody’s worst thoughts about himself, not while he’s still here. His one hope is that Luna is simply too good to make the same mistakes he made. A wannabe Death Eater she is certainly not.

Luna is, however, a rather good hand at potions. She doesn’t have the same academic rigor as Severus but she is similarly intuitive in her experimentation. Every few months she turns up at Severus’s office hours with the most bizarre idea he’s ever heard and which, on second thought, might just work. As the years go by their conversations about potions and gender magic become something deeper. Oh, it’s still on those subjects, still strictly professional, but the words also hold promises of understanding and acceptance. Without so many words Luna tells Severus that he is not only deserving but also capable of happiness. Severus watches out for Luna and ensures that she gets the chance to live up to her potential. Luna never calls Severus “sir,” just “Professor.” Severus runs interference with the other staff, especially when Umbridge decides to get nasty. Luna sees Severus in a way that nobody has ever bothered to look before. Severus doesn’t push Luna away. 

Metamorphosis is a slow and painful process. Severus cannot jeopardize his work as a spy, but somewhere along the way, he begins to care whether he lives or dies at the end of the war. Throughout it all, and especially in that terrible year when Severus is headmaster, Luna Lovegood is the one person who never loses faith in him. That faith keeps him sane and keeps him hoping against all hope for a future beyond all this.

Things get ugly, but Severus comes out of the final battle alive. As the survivors of the war begin to pick up the pieces of the last few years, Severus begins to pick up the pieces of a lifetime. 

Three years later nobody knows what became of Professor Severus Snape or how to find him. Nobody is motivated to search very thoroughly. Harry Potter may have testified as to Severus’s innocence, but most people are only too happy to say “good riddance.”

Every weekend, Luna Lovegood apparates to a small house on the coast of Italy to visit an old friend. They walk along the beach, enjoying the sun and the feeling of the ocean breeze whipping their skirts around their ankles. Luna is happy to see that with every passing week her friend moves more loosely and their smiles, though still rare, come more easily. One day she will invite them to attend her and Ginny’s wedding, and they will graciously accept.

The future can be kinder than the past, despite time’s cyclical nature. All is well. 

💙 💖 🤍 💖 💙

@snapeloveposts​

[fandom-imagines-stories]

The Beauty Underneath

Phillip Carlyle x Reader

Words: 2980

Summary: A new and mysterious performer joins Barnum’s crew. Phillip falls for her, but she keeps herself distant, afraid to open herself up after a life of cruelty and rejection. As protesters become more violent and the bond between them grows, the reader must learn to accept herself, mask and all.  

Notes: Bad summary, but oh well. This definitely is a reference to Love Never Dies, with the title and the mask and I had a blast writing it. Be on the lookout for more Zac Efron and more Phillip. (And as always, reviews mean the world!)

-

The sparks circled you as the batons spun through the air above you. You cartwheeled across the ground and caught the flaming batons with flare, one in each hand. It was a simple performance, but the crowd was getting smaller every week and people hardly gave you a cent.  You bowed and a few passer byes dropped coins into your jar. As you went to collect your earnings, one man lingered. 

Barnum had watched the performer with absolute awe. The dance was mesmerizing, but it was the crude fabric mask that truly peaked his interest. It completely covered the left side of her face. The mystery alone would be enough to draw crowds. 

A paper fell in front of your face. Barnum’s Circus. You looked up at the man who placed it there. Of course you recognized him. Every street performer was dying to be part of his show. P.T. Barnum. 

“You’re pretty good at that.” He nodded towards your batons as you extinguished the flames in a bucket of water. “Really good.”

“You’re too kind.” You replied, trying not to sound so nervous. 

“What is the mask for, may I ask?”

“If I told you, my act would be ruined.” You shrugged. “My secret helps me tame the flames.” It also kept you safe. Safe from the cruelty of your present as well as the haunted memory of your past. Barnum just chuckled. 

“Right you are.” He flashed you a smile. “How would you feel about performing in my show? I’d need to introduce you to everyone of course, but I think you’d make a spectacular edition.”

“Mr. Barnum, I-” You were at a complete loss for words. “I’d be honored.” P.T. looked down at your jar and meek earnings. 

“You’ll have to discuss pay with Carlyle. He takes care of all that.” 

“When would you like me to start?” You couldn’t remember the last time you had a steady income. You could afford a real mask. P.T. laughed. 

“I was hoping you’d accompany me now.” He held out his arm and you took it, feeling dazed. That little voice in your head spoke, telling you to keep your guard up. Circus or not, you had to prepare yourself for the stares and the jeers. It was an instinct you were forced to develop after years of persecution. You had to expect the worst out of people. It was how you survived. 

-

Phillip had spent most of the afternoon looking over finances until he decided he needed a drink. Ticket sales were steady enough, but it was difficult to keep up with P.T.’s ambition. He had just poured himself a glass when Barnum burst into the room and snatched the drink up for himself. Phillip just gave him a perturbed glare. 

“You seem suspiciously excited about something.”

“I need new posters made.” Barnum beamed. “Masked Mistress of Fire.” He held up his hands, envisioning the red lettering engulfed in drawn flames. Phillip paused. 

“You hired another performer?” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you ever going to consult me before you do these things?”

“Will you just meet her before you start lecturing me?” He ushered Phillip downstairs to the backstage area where the woman was waiting. She was fixing her skirts so they would only see the masked side of her face. “Miss Y/L/N, allow me to introduce Phillip Carlyle, my apprentice.” 

“Junior Partner.” Phillip corrected. His look of irritation quickly faded into one of awe. Your eyes met and it felt like something inside both of you ignited. Barnum’s eyes darted between the two of you and he said something about checking on the elephants before vanishing. 

“It’s a pleasure, Mr. Carlyle.” Your voice sounded much more frightened than you had intended. He bowed to kiss your hand.

“Please, call me Phillip.” He smiled and you could feel yourself melt into his blue eyes. Until he sees what you really look like. And just like that; guard up, spark stomped out. 

“I should find out where he wants my things.” You concluded bluntly, hurrying away before you could change your mind. 

Phillip’s gaze lingered after you and he was only able to conjure one clear thought. He wanted to know the woman behind the mask. 

“What do you think?” Barnum’s voice interrupted his trance and Phillip scowled at P.T.’s suggestive smirk. Philip just shook his head with annoyance and walked away, hearing P.T. laugh behind him. “Once again, Carlyle, I was right!”

-

You performed your usual routine for Barnum so he could give you notes and so they could design your costume. Luckily, another performer named Anne would be in charge of that. You also noticed that Mr. Carlyle was there- but of course he would be. He was Barnum’s right hand man. Still, you could feel his eyes on you as you worked with the fire. Those eyes. You didn’t know anything could be so blue. The distraction was enough to make you falter and you had to quickly catch one of the batons before the flames hit the dirt. 

“Brava!” Barnum exclaimed, everyone giving you a round of applause. P.T. pat Phillip on the back. “What did I tell you? Magnificent.”

“It was spectacular.” Phillip agreed, his smile making your heart flutter. You were sure he wouldn’t smile like that if he could really see you. Somehow, the thought pained you more than you cared to admit. The feeling increased as he approached you. 

“I’m pleased you enjoyed my act, Mr. Carlyle.” You said, cold and professional. His smile never faltered. 

“I realized that you know my name, but I do not know yours.” His voice was kinder than any man had ever been towards you. His curiosity was genuine, not based on lust or mockery. 

“Y/N.” You squeaked. “My name is Y/N.” there you go again, melting into those eyes. 

“I wanted to ask,” Phillip gulped. He couldn’t remember the last time a woman made him this nervous. “I was hoping you’d join me for dinner? To welcome you to the circus, of course.”

“I’m sure Mr. Barnum will want me to settle in.” You both looked over at him and he shrugged. 

“Not really. Go enjoy yourself.” He said with a wink. Without an excuse, you had to accept the invitation.

“If you’ll excuse me to change into something more suitable.” You curtsied, trying to hide your nerves. No one had ever asked you to dinner before. 

You cleaned off your nicer dress and borrowed a shawl from Anne. You looked somewhat presentable. Looking in the mirror, your face reflected back at you with an expression of disdain. 

“Here.” Anne handed you a thin paper mache mask. “P.T. will get one for your act, but this will work better than your fabric.” Her smile was so sincere and encouraging, you felt tears welling in your eyes. 

“Thank you.” 

Phillip was waiting patiently outside having put on his evening jacket. He didn’t appreciate the smirk P.T. was giving him so he distracted himself with his scarf. He just wanted to make sure you felt welcome. He knew how intimidating and hectic it all was at first. He just also happened to be quite taken with you. 

“I’m afraid I don’t have anything finer.’ You sighed as you walked down the steps. Phillip offered you his arm. 

“You look lovely.” 

“I, um-” You paused. You convinced yourself he was just being polite. “Thank you.” He opened the door of the carriage for you and helped you up before climbing in himself. The restaurant was nice, but Phillip wasn’t one for highbrow establishments anymore. It was comfortable, yet respectable. It felt like somewhere you would have gone as a child. 

After a glass of wine, you felt yourself loosen up a bit. And considering it was the first good meal you had had in several years, it was difficult to maintain your usually hard exterior. Phillip noticed that you seemed more relaxed and couldn’t help but fall in love with the sound of your laugh. 

“So how does a wealthy playwright come to leave his inheritance and join the circus?” You inquired. Phillip chuckled and took another sip of wine. 

“P.T. approached me about a year ago with the off of a new, exciting life. I, of course, thought he was crazy.” there was that incredible laugh again. “But the more he convinced me, the more I realized that I wasn’t happy where I was. I was trapped. Now I’ve lived more in the past year than I would have in a hundred.”

“How inspiring.” You mused.

“What about you? What brings you to us?” Phillip watched your smile fall. Your gaze clouded, like you were remembering a bad dream. “I’m so sorry, I’ve overstepped.”

“No, it’s fair of you to be curious.” You took a particularly large gulp of wine for courage. “My parents died when I was young. It’s just that-”

“Mr. Carlyle, running around with the riff-raff again, are we?” A man approached the table with a mocking smile. He took a closer look at you and his smile changed to one you were quite familiar with. “My apologies, miss. I mistook you for another circus freak.”

“Miss Y/L/N, this is Stefan Carter.” Phillip smiled with gritted teeth. “We knew each other as children.”

“Come now, Phillip we were as thick as thieves until you joined the freak show.” Stefan’s laugh wasn’t anything like Phillip’s. It was cruel and held little real humor. He turned back to you. “I’m dying to know what you’ve got underneath…” Phillip’s fist clenched around his napkin. “I mean your mask, of course.” 

You stood, looking him in the eye with all of the venom you could muster. 

“One of the freaks.” You couldn’t bear to look at Phillip’s reaction so you kept your eyes fixed on Mr. Carter. “Thank you for dinner, Mr Carlyle. Please excuse me.” You brushed passed a smirking Mr. Carter and didn’t stop until you vanished into the night, Phillip unable to catch you in time.

-

Your first performance was hit. The Masked Mistress of Fire. A routine that might have caught the attention of a person passing in the street earned you a standing ovation. The applause thundered in your ears and P.T. beamed at you from the side. Beside him, Philip clapped, but his smile was a sad one, longing to undue that terrible end to a wonderful night. You had fiercely put your guard back up. Still, you wished that you could run to him, to kiss him, and for once in your life feel loved. But you knew better. Phillip could never love you. 

Show after show passed and you were sure to keep your distance. Every time he seemed to approach you, you’d scurry away to talk to Anne or Lettie. 

“Why do you always hide from him?” Anne asked once. 

“I’m not what he thinks he wants.” You kept your eyes anywhere but Phillip’s defeated face. 

“And how could you know that if you won’t even let him try?” She was whisked away into the air before you could respond. 

“Y/N,” P.T. bounded towards you with an enthusiastic grin. Phillip trailed beside him. “How’s the new mask fitting?” 

“It’s beautiful, Mr. Barnum.” It was the nicest thing you owned. The ceramic mold fit your face perfectly and the red and yellow flames framed the left side, hiding the skin underneath. 

“Your act is marvelous!” P.T. beamed. “The protestors have even added your masked face to their list of things to complain about, which makes you a real Barnum performer in my book.”

It was true. The awful group of ruffians and drunkards that hung around had screamed at you to show your face on many occasions, but they didn’t frighten you. You had dealt with their kind before. It was the hurt look in Phillip’s eye whenever he looked at you that you couldn’t handle. 

“I can’t thank you enough for bringing me here, Mr. Barnum.”

“The pleasure has been all ours, isn’t the right Phillip?” He roughly pat his partner on the back. 

“Your addition to the circus has been wonderful.” Phillip mimicked your professional stance. His indifferent tone hurt more than it should have. Perhaps he had finally given up. It was for the best. 

You usually went for the late night stroll after a performance, even with the protesters lingering outside. They seemed particularly unpleasant tonight. As you moved towards the exit, a hand gently grabbed yours. 

“I think you should stay in for the night.” Phillip’s previous coolness had gone, replaced by worry. 

“I appreciate your concern, Mr. Carlyle, but I assure you I have learned to handle myself.”

“Y/N please.” He pleaded. “Stay here with me tonight.” The way he looked at you- those kind eyes filled with a kind of caring you haven’t felt in years- made you want to stay. But behind him, you could see your reflection. The mirror may show that beautiful mask, but you knew what was underneath. 

“I’m afraid that we fair better when we are apart, Mr. Carlyle.” You couldn’t hide the sadness in your voice, turning your head when it cracked. “Goodnight.”

“Y/N, wait!” His voice was drowned out by the roaring shouts outside the door. The light of the torches blinded you at first as your eyes tried to adjust. 

“Show your face you freak!” One man shouted. 

“I wouldn’t mind if she showed more than that.” Another sneered. A sweaty hand ran down your arms and you jerked away. You looked for a break in the crowd. 

“Where are you going? The freak show’s right here.” This time, the hand roughly grabbed your shoulder. 

“Leave her alone!” Phillip boomed, making the crowd step back slightly. 

“What’s your problem, boy?” The man who grabbed you stepped forward. 

“Let the lady pass.” He commanded. His arms tensed under his shirt and for the first time, he looked frightening. Another man stepped out from the crowd, this one far more drunk than the others. 

“Mr. Carter?” You gasped. He stalked towards you, nearly tripping over his own feet. He was hardly recognizable, but you’d know that smirk anywhere. 

“Hello again, mystery woman.” He slurred. “Why must you insist on keeping the company of such rabble? Why not spend a night with a real gentleman?” His breath reeked of whiskey and his hair was a mess. You leaned towards him. 

“Sir, if you are what they call a gentleman, I will gladly take my chances with the rabble.” You spat. 

“How dare you-” He lifted his hand, but a fist collided with his jaw before he could strike you. 

“Phillip, don't!” You cried. You reached for him, but somebody shoved you backwards. You were pushed and pulled through the crowd further and further away from Phillip. One person pushed you hard enough that you fell. The hard cobblestone sent pain shooting up your arm when you tried to catch your fall. The sound of the mask shattering was the last thing you remembered. 

You were awakened by a gentle hand on your cheek. Your left cheek. You scrambled backwards, nearly falling out of your bed. You desperately tried to cover your face with your hand, your injured wrist screaming in protest. It was no use. He had already seen you. 

“It’s alright.” Phillip hushed, his hand still holding the bloody piece of cloth. “When you fell, you seemed to have sprained your wrist. The mask broke and a few of the shards cut your cheek and jaw. Luckily, the pieces missed your eye.” The way he looked at you now was the same way he had looked when you first met. He wasn’t repulsed or frightened. His eyes held only… was it love?

“How can you look at me?” You sobbed, your hand pressing against your wounds. Phillip took your hand in his and slowly lowered it, bringing it to his lips. 

A large burn-scar stretched up from your jaw and covered almost the entire left half of your face. While the skin was now jagged and discolored, to him, it didn’t obscure your beauty. Seeing you, the real you, was the most stunning thing he’d ever laid eyes upon. Phillip placed a light kiss on your palm. 

“This face,” He dabbed the cloth to one of the cuts and this time, you didn’t feel any pain, “is the same face that possesses a smile that has rendered me speechless for weeks. It is the same face that holds the eyes that I have lost myself in more often than I care to admit. And it is the face of the woman that I have fallen irrevocably in love with.”

You weren’t quite sure what made you cry- having pushed him away all this time or knowing that he meant his words more than anything he’d ever said before. But sure enough, tears began to fall before you could stop them. In all your years of solitude and living as an outcast, hearing his love out poured to you cracked the mask around your heart wide open. 

Your bodies drew closer and closer until the soft touch of his lips grazed yours. The spark you had been trying to ignore ignited a fire. You loved him. More than anything you ever had before. You loved him. 

You spent the rest of the night in his embrace. You told him the story of the fire that killed your family and gave you your scars. He held you tighter when you cried and kissed your lips to remind you that you were safe and loved. It was more than you could have ever hoped for. And for the first time, you felt beautiful.

-

General Tag: @rae-gar-targaryen; @takemepedropascal; @childhood-imagination;  @mylovegoesto;