#also *removes the space from your space western*

[feniverse-unfiltered]

Idk why it took me so long to think of this, but old west/cowboy Wolfwood with a temperamental black mare

[creature-wizard]

Info For Beginner Witches!

This is basically a masterpost for content relevant to new witches. A lot of it of it's stuff I wrote but I'll also link to material written by other people if I think it's useful.

Practice & Technique

Magical Correspondences 101

Closet Witchcraft: How To Get Witchy When You Can't Come Out Of The Broom Closet

How To Practice: Divination With Dice!

An approach to deity/entity work for the sort of people this sort of thing would work for

Manifestation Without Woo (a compassionate psychological approach to manifestation)

Non-Competitive Affirmations

No, you can't tell anything about a person from their natal chart.

A Brief Introduction to Energy Work

Energy Work On The Body: Hittin' The Right Spots For Tension Relief

Research & Critical Thinking

Information Literacy Basics

How to research

Distinguishing Fact, Opinion, Belief, and Prejudice

Critical Thinking: Definition, Examples, & Skills

Caution & Critical Thinking In Divination

10 Questions To Distinguish Real From Fake Science

Search for information on any witchy topic here!

"A weird thing just happened, does this mean anything? Is it an omen?"

Practicing discernment: Some ways of testing and ruling out the mundane

Research Tip: Remember the Five W's!

How conspiracy peddlers and cult recruiters make you feel like you're "thinking for yourself" when you're actually not

Remember a Previous Life? Maybe You Have a Bad Memory

Why fighting pseudohistory matters

Scams, Hoaxes, Conspiracy Theories, & Cults Everyone Should Know About

On people who assert "things are done this way for a reason!"

Dogmatism is not the solution to cultural appropriation

Some beliefs you might have to deconstruct as an ex-Christian

How the "divine feminine" and the "divine masculine" perpetuate patriarchy - and what we can do about it

Avoiding Harmful Stuff & Staying Safe

Recognizing the difference between real history and pseudohistory

Is the spiritual person a conspiracy theorist? A list of red flags

List of red flags to watch out for when joining a coven or online group

Beware of charisma mirrors

When your right to say no is entirely hypothetical

Dog whistles and symbols to watch out for

Eugenicist and bioessentialist beliefs about magic

What is spiritual eugenics?

Toxic Individualism In Modern Witchcraft

New Age beliefs that derive from racist pseudoscience

The Ancient Astronaut Hypothesis is Racist and Harmful

Allyship does not mean seeing yourself as worthless

The rules about responding to call outs aren’t working

History

Debunking the Pervasive Myths About Medieval Witch Hunts

Debunking Myths About Easter/Ostara

Just How Pagan is Christmas, Really?

The Origins of the Christmas Tree

No, Santa Claus Is Not Inspired By Odin

Why Prehistoric Matriarchy Wasn’t a Thing (A Brief Explanation)

Why Did The Patriarchal Greeks And Romans Worship Such Powerful Goddesses?

No, Athena Didn't Turn Medusa Into A Monster To Protect Her

Who Was the First God?

Were Ancient Civilizations Conservative Or Liberal?

PODCAST RECS - Debunking and Fact-Checking for Witches & Witchcraft Spaces

Angela's Symposium (YouTube channel about modern esotericism and witchcraft by Dr. Angela Puca)

ESOTERICA (YouTube channel about the history of Western esotericism by Dr. Justin Sledge)

ReligionForBreakfast (YouTube channel about religion run by Dr. Andrew Henry)

Let's Talk Religion (YouTube channel run by Filip Holm, lots of Islamic content but also lots of other stuff)

OceanKeltoi (Norse Heathenry)

Jackson Crawford (Norse Heathenry)

Conservation & Ecology

The Migratory Bird Treaty Act, Explained (all USian witches should read this, it most likely affects you)

How the Rage for Sage Threatens Native American Traditions and Recipes

(This post is unrebloggable because I plan to use it as a reference post to link, and may add/remove things to it over time.)

[my-my-my]

How would Aizen’s house look like? Would he be super organised? What aesthetic would it hold? Would he allow his partner to decorate the house too or not? Would he prefer small or bigger house?

Oooo a somewhat meta ask!! So I’m going to do some interpretations based off what we’ve seen in canon.

This will get image heavy, so I've put this behind the read more!

CW: none! This is a meta post.

The first aspect that comes to mind is minimalism. Both in Las Noches and his personal quarters in the Squad 5 barracks, there are minimal to no personal effects of his that we the viewer/reader can see. If Aizen were to own a house, I would expect this to continue.

While his kingdom in Las Noches is large, massive even, I would argue this was for a military function rather than his personal preference. It's also interesting to note that Las Noches physical design resembles the Hagia Sofia in Turkey! Whether this was Aizen's design or Kubo's preference (since most of the Espada were named after different architects), who's to say!

Another thing to note is the massive couch Aizen has in his room at Las Noches. I'm still trying to wrap my head around why he would want a massive couch like that - possibly a self-inflicted reminder of how lonely he is? He doesn't keep much company when he isn't having his meetings with the Espada, so it (personally) seems out of place. Or maybe it doubles as his bed! I don't know, but yeah - maybe this is a question for Klub Outside.

I can see Aizen with a modest sized home/town house, leaning towards a Western, modernest design (vs Seireitei which was Japanese traditional). To answer your last question, I can see him with a modest sized home - nothing large like a mansion unless it served him a purpose to have a large home.

Some of these images were taken from my personal interior design board on Pinterest (LOL).

As well, I think Aizen would view things/objects similar to how he viewed people: what function do they have to him? If it isn't necessary to him, he won't have it. Personally I think Aizen would even remove the greenery in the above images I've shared. He seems to want simply designed things - plants might not be necessary.

I would also think Aizen is super organized - even though his space was minimal, it was incredibly clean. His room in Seireitei didn't look dusty at all.

That being said, Aizen seemed to love to read, so I would assume he would have several bookshelves filled to the brim (or maybe he's a library kind of guy!).

As for a partner designing a living space for the both of them, I would think his partner would make the home they have "lived in." But it also depends on how much value Aizen puts on personal space and objects - we don't really get that sense of how he views physical material in the manga.

My opinion would be that he would be ok letting his partner decorate their shared home together, but his personal office space will be more of a reflection of him than the partner. Maybe he keeps a trinket or two that they wanted him to have in this space, but other than, I can see it being similarly designed like his space in Seireitei.

Thank you for asking!

[samwisethewitch]

Queering the elements

In my last post, I talked about the origins of the whole "masculine/feminine energy" thing that we see in witchcraft and occultism. In this post, I want to share an example from my own practice of how I honor traditional gender associations while also making room for more varieties of gender identity and expression, using the classical elements as an example.

To be clear, this is just one example of how we can queer Western occultism. This is what works for me, but you might find that something else works better for you. That is perfectly fine, and I encourage you to do your own brainstorming and find what resonates with you.

I know some queer witches choose to remove gendered associations from their practice entirely, and I think that's totally valid. I, personally, think gendered energies do have a place in my practice, but that goes way beyond just masculine/male and feminine/female.

Binary gender is not inherently bad. I think we can work with masculine and feminine energies while also making room for gender identities that fall outside of that binary. Personally, I think making space to acknowledge and celebrate nonbinary, agender, and genderfluid identities on the same level as binary genders is an important part of this work.

The model I use for the elements in my practice was created by my partner, who has given me permission to share it here. This model still connects the elements with gendered energies, but in a way that is much more inclusive.

Earth is feminine because of its associations with nourishing, community building, and practicality, things I see reflected in the women in my culture, both cis and trans.

Fire is masculine because of its associations with movement, passion, and determination, things I see reflected in the men in my culture, both cis and trans.

(To be clear, I'm not saying that only women can be nurturers or that only men can be passionate and determined. Obviously, any person of any gender can have any of these traits.)

Air is associated with agender and nonbinary identities and with anyone who does not feel a strong attachment to any particular gender. Air is ethereal, thoughtful, and intellectual, traits I see reflected in the nonbinary and agender people around me.

Water is associated with genderfluid and genderqueer identities, and with anyone whose identity cannot be easily labeled. Water is mysterious, flexible, and intuitive, traits I see reflected in the genderfluid and genderqueer people around me.

I like this model because it still includes some of the traditional gender associations from older occult practices, but it opens things up to embrace more identities and experiences. For my practice, this is a good balance between tradition and inclusivity.

I'd love to hear from other queer witches about if and how y'all work with gendered energies in your practice! Let me know what you've come up with!

[embodiedfutures]

Trans Reads is an ambitious project created by and for transgender people to openly access writing related to our communities. We believe education should be free and writing shouldn’t be behind a paywall. Transreads.org provides the opportunity to access, discuss, and distribute texts for free.

If you’re looking for books, chapters, texts, essays, or articles by, for, or about people who transverse or transcend western gender norms, you’re in the right place!

Trans Reads was formed through the work, consulting, and creativity of an anonymous group of trans people of various genders and races around the U.S. involved in organizing, academia, and trans liberation efforts. Trans Reads was launched in 2019 following increasing violence against trans people alongside the lack of accessible resources for trans people to learn about our own community.

There is a serious barrier for most trans people accessing content from our community. Trans people on average have less disposable income, time to read and purchase literature, and knowledge of the available texts. We created Trans Reads to address this problem directly. We offer the largest collection of free trans texts on the internet.

Get Involved:

Trans Reads is almost entirely generated through user content. By uploading, you can help a trans teen in a rural area learn about other girls like her. You could help a trans student who can’t afford a textbook easily pass their class. You can even share your own writing with the world on an easy-to-use platform exclusively for trans content. You can help grow our collection on our upload page. If you are interested in helping us upload texts for our collection, you can reach out on our contact page.

Ethics:

We are faced with the common ethical question about hurting the sales of trans authors. However, the largest ever study on piracy actually found that the piracy of copyrighted books, music, video games, and movies has no effect on sales. In the case of video games, piracy actually helped sales. As far back as 2002, we can see piracy boosting sales of media. Trans Reads strongly encourages you to purchase the books that you enjoy here or find other ways to support the author.

Academic authors rarely – if ever – see income from sales of their books, articles, or chapters. Most want to remove the paywalls withholding their content. Trans Reads is open to collaborating with authors, publishers, and journals on making this a possibility through our website.

History:

In 2014, Leslie Feinberg published the 20th-anniversary edition of Stone Butch Blues, one of the most influential works of transgender literature. The novel was a way for trans, gender nonconforming, and queer people to realize ourselves. It told us we aren’t alone. However, when the publisher went bankrupt, Leslie had to struggle to regain ownership over hir own novel.

“I had to work to recover my rights to Stone Butch Blues. When the first publisher went into Chapter 11 court, I had to spend thousands of dollars of my wages on legal fees to recover the right to this novel… While very ill in Spring 2012, I recovered my rights again.”

Ze didn’t want the book to be released as a film adaptation exploiting hir story for straight fantasies. Ze also used the opportunity to make the book more accessible. First editions shot up into hundreds of dollars. The least expensive print versions are still over $30 on Amazon. This simply isn’t affordable to most queer and trans people. The fight ended with Leslie publishing hir novel on hir website as a PDF, a strategy of reclaiming transgender narratives from greedy publishes by collective ownership of the text.

Trans Reads is dedicated to the memory of Leslie and all those who feel alone. Most individuals don’t have institutional access and cannot afford to pay for texts. Transreads.org allows visitors to effortlessly read texts by, for, or related to trans people online for free as PDFs. Trans Reads is the space where anyone can easily discuss, add, or download trans content.

This project is intended to foster discussion around the current state of learning. We refuse paywalls and withholding education. Trans Reads provides the opportunity to access, discuss, and distribute texts related to our community on its website in a matter of seconds.

Knowledge, learning, and community must be de-commodified for our collective liberation. Take it from Leslie:

“And on the day those paper deeds of ownership are torn up, it won’t matter about protecting Stone Butch Blues anymore from commercial exploitation.”

Authors shouldn’t live in fear of their work being exploited or inaccessible. Trans Reads is just one small part of trans autonomy from corporate publishers. However, it is a necessary step toward engaging with our radical history, politics, and futures.

Click here to upload a text.

[specialagentartemis]

Black Women writing SFF

The post about Octavia Butler also made me think about the injustice we do both Butler, SFF readers, and Black women SFF writers by holding her up as the one Black Woman Writing Sci-Fi. She occupies an important place in the genre, for her creativity, the beauty and impact of her writing, and her prolific work... but she's still just one writer, and no one writer works for everybody.

So whether you liked Octavia Butler's books or didn't, here are some of the (many!!! this list is just the authors I've read and liked, or been recommended and been wanting to read) other Black women writing speculative fiction aimed at adults, who might be writing something within your interest:

N. K. Jemisin - a prolific powerhouse of modern sff. Will probably have something you'll like. Won three Hugo awards in a row for her Broken Earth trilogy. I’ve only read her book of short stories, How Long ‘Til Black Future Month? and it is absolutely story after story of bangers. Creative, chilling, beautifully written, make you think. They’re so good and I highly recommend the collection. Several of her novels have spun out of premises she first explored through these short stories, most recently “The City Born Great” giving rise to her novel The City We Became. Leans more fantasy than sci-fi, but has a lot of both, in various permutations. 

Nnedi Okorafor - American-Nigerian writer of Africanfuturism, sci-fi stories emphasizing life in present, future, and alternate-magical Africa. She has range! From Binti, a trilogy of novellas about a teenage girl in Namibia encountering aliens and balancing her newfound connection to space with expectations of her family; to Akata Witch, a middle-grade series about a Nigerian-American girl moving to Nigeria and learning to use magic powers she didn’t know she had; to Who Fears Death, a brutal depiction of magical-realism in a futuristic, post-war Sudan; to short stories like "Africanfuturism 419", about that poor Nigerian prince who’s desperately sending out those emails looking for help (but with a sci-fi twist), and "Mother of Invention" about a smart house taking care of its human and her baby… she’s done a little bit of everything, but always emphasizes the future, the science, and the magic of (usually western) Africa.

Karen Lord - an Afro-Caribbean author.  I actually didn’t particularly like the one novel by her I’ve read, The Best of All Possible Worlds, but Martha Wells did, so. Lord has more novels set in this world—a Star Trek-esque multicultural, multispecies spacefuture set on a planet that has welcomed immigrants and refugees for a long time, and become a vibrant multicultural planet. I find her stories rooted in near-future Caribbean socio-climatic concerns like "Haven" and "Cities of the Sun" and her folktale-fantasy style Redemption in Indigo more compelling.  And more short stories here.

Bethany C. Morrow - only has one novella (short novel?) for adults, Mem, but it was creative and fascinating and good and I’d be remiss not to shout it out. In an alternate-history 1920s Toronto, scientists have discovered how to extract specific memories from a person—but then those memories are embodied as physical, cloned manifestations of the person at the moment the memory was made. The main character is one such “Mem,” struggling to determine who she is if she was created from and defined by one single traumatic memory that her original-self wanted to remove. It’s mostly quiet, contemplative, and very interesting.  (Morrow has some YA novels too. I read one of them and thought it was okay.)

Rebecca Roanhorse - Afro-Indigenous, Black and "Spanish Indian" and married into Diné (Navajo). I’ve read her ongoing post-apocalyptic fantasy series starting with Trail of Lightning, and am liking it a lot; after a climate catastrophe, the spirits and magic of the Diné awakened to protect Dinetah (the Navajo Nation) from the onslaught; and now magic and monsters are part of life in this fundamentally changed world. Coyote is there and he is only sometimes helpful. She also has a more traditional second-world epic high fantasy, Black Sun, an elaborate fantasy world with quests and prophecies and seafaring adventure that draws inspiration from Indigenous cultures of the US and Mexico rather than Europe. She also has bitingly satirical and very incisive short stories like “Welcome to Your Authentic Indian Experience” about virtual reality and cultural tourism, and the fantasy-horror "Harvest."

Micaiah Johnson - her multiverse-hopping novel The Space Between Worlds plays with alternate universes and alternate selves in a continuously creative and interesting way! The setup doesn’t take the easy premise that one universe is our own recognizable one that opens up onto strange alternate universes—even the main character’s home universe is wildly different in speculative ways, with the MC coming from a Mad Max-esque desert community abandoned to the elements, while working for the universe-travel company within the climate-controlled walled city where the rich and well-connected live and work. Also, it’s unabashedly gay. 

And if you like audiobooks and audio fiction (I listened to The Space Between Worlds as an audiobook, it’s good), then Jordan Cobb is someone you should check out. She does sci-fi/horror/thriller audio drama. Her works include Janus Descending, a lyrical and eerie sci-fi horror about a small research expedition to a distant planet and how it went so, so wrong; and Descendants, the sequel about its aftermath. She also has Primordial Deep, about a research expedition to the deep undersea, to investigate the apparent re-emergence of a lot of extinct prehistoric sea creatures. She’s a writer/producer I like, and always follow her new releases. Her detailed prose, minimal casts  (especially in Janus Descending), good audio quality, and full-series supercuts make these welcoming to audiobook fans. 

-

Nalo Hopkinson - a writer who should be considered nearly as foundational as Octavia Butler, honestly. A novelist and short story writer with a wide variety of sci-fi, dystopian futures, fairy-tale horror, gods and epics, and space Carnival, drawing heavily from her Caribbean experiences and aesthetics.

Tananarive Due - fantastical/horror. Immortals, vampires, curses, altered reality, unnerving mystery. Also has written a lot of books.

Andrea Hairston - creative and otherworldly, weird and bisexual, with mindscapes and magic and aliens. 

Helen Oyeyemi - I haven’t read her work but she comes highly recommended by a friend. A novelist and short story writer, most of her work leans fairytale fantastical-horror. What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours is a collection of short fiction and recc’ed to me as her best work. White is for Witching is a well-regarded haunted house novel. 

Ashia Monet - indie author, writer of The Black Veins, pitched as “the no-love-interest, found family adventure you’ve been searching for.” Magic road trip! Possibly YA? I’m not positive. 

-

This also doesn’t include Black non-binary sff authors I’ve read and liked like An Owomoyela (“All That Touches The Air” still haunts me!) C. L. Polk, and Rivers Solomon. Also Nisi Shawl who I initially mistakenly included on the list of authors above, who primarily writes short stories that lean literary. Their one novel that I’ve read, Everfair, is an alternate-history 19th century that asks, what if the Congo had fought off European colonization and became a free and independent African state? Fascinating book, unique and thought provoking.

And this list is specifically about adult sff books, so I didn’t include Black women YA sff authors like Kalynn Bayron, Tomi Adeyemi, Tracy Deonn, Justina Ireland, or Alechia Dow, though they’re writing fantasy and sci-fi in the YA world too.

And a lot of short stories are out there in the online magazine world, where so many up and coming authors get their start, and established ones explore offbeat and new ideas.  Pick up an issue (or a subscription!) of FIYAH magazine for the most current Black speculative writing.

[aluhnim]

Hello!! When you start a comic, how do you go about deciding your panelling layouts?? If this is too big of an ask for covid brain, how about your favorite song of the moment / a song that really inspires you?? I hope you feel better soon!

I was searching around for an old write up I did for some Original Character Tournament folks who were interested in my thoughts on panels and layouts. To try and answer your question, I go off of vibe now that I’ve made a LOT of comics. However, as much as it doesn’t seem like it at times, I do typically stay as “conventional” as possible to make sure my readers are still following the plot. I make a lot of adjustments along the way. Smarter layouts allow me to draw less, and drawing less is better for me in the long run! It’ll allow me to put more time in other places of the comic.

Anyway, here’s my write up back in the day that’ll hopefully answer some comic drafting questions!

More conventional paneling is a necessary stepping stone because you know your reader won’t get lost and the structure will have you more focused on flow and pacing. It seems remarkably easy to do comics with more “static” or traditional panel layouts but they work for a reason. There’s no real need to break out of something that works, unless you want to! Breaking out of the structure can really add some OOMPH to your important pages.

Some tips, note that these have been my preferences and some definitions don’t quite match their descriptors.

Bleed

I consider open panels or panels that stretch out beyond the edge of the page to be considered bleeds. They’re simple ways to make you feel like your not just sticking within your margins and making your page feel less static without much extra effort. Manga does this quite often, and Western American comics, especially during action packed moments or large splashes.

Some examples of things bleeds can do:

- They can also be used as transitions between pages (first panel bleeding in, last panel bleeding out).

- They can be used to interrupt or add a beat to a moment. Although the example below is mostly bleeds, you can see the one full panel at the bottom stands out because it’s not like the others. A subtle beat.

- They can also just be used to extend a panel to make it bigger. That seems obvious, but larger panels do make people spend a bit more time on them, regardless if there is text or not. Though, “more time” means probably several milliseconds or even a few seconds more than usual.

- Collaging with a bleed is a really great way to think beyond panels and open the space. You will be spending more time thinking of how much you can cram in along with the flow of how your text is going to lead through a series of images.

- Removing panel borders can really open a space and allow for more room without having to go above and beyond the ideas of comics and panels. (sorry, gale galligan is just good)

Gutters

The space between panels is almost just as important as the panel itself. That’s where readers and inferring actions and time. You can only control so much of what the reader is doing between their eye shifting between panels, which is why composition within panels and clarity are so important.

Gutters can also be played with! A simple example is changing your gutters from white to all black. It can be a subtle shift in time, a transition to a new space.

Even the amount of space between panels leaves an idea of time! I think webtoons/manhwa really work well with the gutter space, leaving you to physically scroll and feel the effects of time passing with the amount of empty space you encounter.

It’s important to understand that the gutter has a lot more to do with reader imagination, and your goal is to have them understand that the next panel is somehow plausible.

THIS SCENE EMFIELDS DID IS VERY FUCKING GOOD. TIME, SPACE, GO OOOOOOFFFF KING

Panels themselves can be a part story!

This one is a difficult thing to write for, since I feel like there isn’t many examples out there. There are very structural examples of panels out there, like Watchman. While the 9 panel grid was intentional, it also was likely the only way to deal with Alan Moore’s script effectively without missing details. The panels themselves don’t ENHANCE the story, but a means to an end.

But it’s also an incredibly good example of how conventional comics paneling can still be effective, especially when you start breaking that mold just a little bit.

But then you have comics like M. Dean’s “Baby fat”. Where the comic paneling itself never strays from its original structure, but is indicative of the story itself, representing tiles, mirrors, patterns.

Or Robert Hunter’s “The New Ghost” which he uses circular motifs and has circular panels representing the telescopes sight line.

Predicting Reader Navigation

These are my rules of thumb when doing general sight reading panel by panel.

1. Text is what people gravitate to first. It’s the context needed to approach the next panel.

2. Faces are next, this provides context to what the subject is feeling.

3. Familiar people/animals/objects and SFX.

4. Everything else!

This is an example of sight reading notes I gave to my friend Holocene when we were collaborating.

[whipped-for-kpop-fics]

Seventeen with an s/o that writes/produces songs? The s/o could be like a very famous one! for example: when fans see their name is in the credits of a song (kpop or even western music, cus why not be a global phenomenon 🤷🏽‍♀️) they already know it’s gonna be so good since they have a history of making amazing music, iykiwm?

THANK YOU SO MUCH! Also I love your work, you’re so talented and you always put stuff out so quickly but to the highest quality it’s quite mind blowing. ilysm!! 💗

🎶Who; Seventeen (individually) x reader, with a focus on Jihoon at the end 🎶What; headcanon, idol/producer au 🎶Wordcount; 570-ish 🎶Warnings; none, I don't think

-2024 Masterlist-

A/N - I'm not sure how to do individual reactions for this because I'm pretty sure they'd all be pretty similar so I don't want to be repetitive, so I'll write a general thought and any extra bits for those who may have an individual line of thought. Sorry it's taken a little while to write too, I really couldn't figure out how to write this so I hope this is okay. Thank you for the suggestion and I hope you like it

Also omg you're so sweet omg, that's genuinely one of the nicest comments I've ever had about my writing! Being told my writing is high quality feels insane in the best of ways! Thank you for saying that! I really appreciate it 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

He will love it if you're in the same industry as him, especially if you're well known because you'll know exactly what it's like to be him; the busy schedules and little privacy with people always trying to have a view into your personal lives. So you'll be able to bond over that from day one.

The biggest hype man for his partner; they won't all cheer the loudest at award shows because obviously, some of them are much too introverted for that but they will all shower you with praise for every award you win. But even if he doesn't cheer the loudest, he will all do his utmost to share every single new release you've worked on, sometimes his social media accounts will seem more like a fan accounts for you but it's very sweet and cute so the fans don't really mind.

Of course, it's not all fun times. What with how busy you both are, it's genuinely really hard to find time to be together so unless you move in together, you probably might not even see each other on a weekly basis. Though even if you live together, your conflicting schedules will probably make it hard to be awake at the same time so most of your quality time together is spent asleep.

So long as you both try to make space for each other in your hectic schedules and try and have a phone/video call every single day and send update/random messages to one another throughout the day when possible, you'll be fine.

Now, of course, I have to do a special shout-out to Jihoon, producer-songwriter extraordinaire. If anyone will understand how much he works, it's you. But the funniest thing is, he's actually the one I think will be able to handle all this the easiest.

Because I have this very vivid of Jihoon in his studio working away with his headphones on and his phone propped up in the matching stands you have in your own studios, your face on his screen showing you doing the exact same thing in your own studio. You can't hear each other and honestly, the calls are muted at both ends so even if it wasn't for your headphones, you wouldn't be able to hear one another, but just being able to glance down and see the other diligently working on the next chart-topper gives you both the energy to keep going. Every now and then, one of you will remove your headphones so the other will notice the movement and look at the screen to copy & unmute the call to hear whatever the other has to say. It's often asking the other's opinion on the track being worked on. Or one of you saying you need to go so the call needs to end. Though sometimes, Jihoon will subtly free one of his ears from his noise-cancelling headphones and unmute the call just so he can hear the tapping of you working away mixed with the random pieces of speech when you mumble to yourself as you work. You may not be paying him any attention at this point and he times it purposely so you never know he does it, but it fills his chest with happy warmth, and then he'll remute the call, fix his headphones and get back to work with a content little smile on his face.

[cass-the-mess]

Was it Real?

Vikhor "Stitch" Kuzmin x Bell!Reader SMUT 18+ MDNI

Photo cred: @pricescigar

A/N: This has been brewing in my drafts since MARCH lol, and I suddenly felt the urge to finish it today so I hope you guys enjoy it!

Synopsis: Bell manages to break out of Adler's mind control early on in the game. She infiltrates the KGB to hopefully reconnect with the current leader of Perseus himself Stitch, angst ensues, old feelings emerge, betrayal happens, they deal with it in the most reasonable way: Shmex :)

CW: Dark themes, dubious content, SMUT, office sex, ex-lovers to enemies to lovers? Stitch is a bad guy ish, possessive sex, degrading, PWP, canon typical violence (this is COD) but not the main theme of this, they're in love but it's complicated because she's a double agent, not really a happy ending but also not a sad ending.

P.S. this one is dedicated to @stararch4ngelqueen because she's great and she makes me wanna keep writing so :)

P.P.S. Dialogue in Italics are flashbacks, dialogues in bold are russian.

You see him right away when you turn the corner of the hallway, his imposing form walking out of the elevator surrounded by some of his most trusted men. The silvery scar tissue cutting through the left side of his face and into his eye adding onto the threatening aura around him.

You remember him, you remember the relationship you had with him before you got taken away and had all of your memories jumbled and carefully rearranged to fit into the narrative the Americans wanted you to be a part of.

Vikhor Kuzmin aka “Stitch”, current leader of Perseus, your mentor, the man who had taught you everything you knew. The man who had made you into the woman you were. That woman was long gone, that thought angered you. You had no loyalties to the American cause, nor to the men who you were currently working for.

Your loyalty to Russell Adler, the leader of this operation, was especially treacherous. You knew what he did to you, the lengths he had taken to turn you against the very people who had built you from the ground up, whatever charade you were currently playing by “helping” him sneak into the KGB to recover intel, was about to end. Sooner rather than later.

You watch intently through the shaded glass of the door you’re hiding behind as Stitch walks through the empty corridor, the armed men at his side posting themselves at strategic points in the hallway as he continues to make his way through the space, not sparing them a second glance, his patterned eyes ice cold and constantly searching and analyzing. The hood covering his head as well as the mask obscuring the bottom half of his face keeping his true emotions from shining through.

Your heart squeezes painfully at the sight of him, you didn’t know where you stood with him anymore, you knew just how important Perseus’ cause was to him, and how loyal to it he was. You doubted he’d ever forgive you, no matter the circumstances surrounding your disappearance, people didn’t just leave Perseus, and if they did, they were found and dealt with. You knew because that was your job, the executioner. The shadow of death, you were the last thing traitors saw before the light left their eyes.

At one point in time, you were his most trusted advisor, his right hand, his friend. You’d spent countless hours with him, the both of you planning, scheming, organizing, a myriad of different operations to spread your influence through the western countries. Most of which had greatly succeeded, you were always five steps ahead of the Americans.

You don’t know when exactly it changed, when your relationship with the stoic, brutal man, changed. When you became something more, when he started looking at you with a glint in his eyes, when his face relaxed a little when it was just the two of you in the same room, or when he started removing his mask around you. Exposing the gnarled, scarred skin of his face to you, letting you see just how truly broken he was.

But you didn’t think he was broken, you saw a man that had overcome challenge after challenge, continuously coming out on top and never giving up. Your respect for him grew, as did your heart. Butterflies swarming your abdomen whenever he looked your way, not needing to say a single word to you, his eyes always speaking so loud in the silence of the room.

Then he started smiling at you, not a full-blown smile, you didn’t think the man was even capable of such a feat, but a small, subtle quirk of his lips. So small you thought you’d imagined it at first. A fleeting curve of his full lips towards you, gone as fast as it had appeared. The memory makes you blush slightly in the dark space of the office you’re hiding in, chewing at your lips anxiously as you wait for him to dispatch the men around him, giving you an opening to talk to him. Hoping your connection plays in your favour, hoping the man won’t shoot you where you stand, knowing that he would, knowing that he should.

Afterall, you’d not only betrayed your cause, but you’d also betrayed him. That realization had weighed heavy on your shoulders ever since you woke up from whatever trance Adler had you in, all of your memories coming back to you in painful bursts, flashes of images blinding you as they assaulted your brain. The pain you had felt as each memory hit you, still sizzling inside you, causing a shiver to trail up your spine.

You take a steadying breath as you watch him through the tinted window, his white, scarred eye, glinting under the artificial light emanating from the fixtures above him. You’d asked him once if he could still see out of that eye, out of curiosity, but also because he seemed to see everything, all the time. Nothing ever escaped him, you wondered how he was able to be so alert with half his vision gone.

“I see.” Had been his curt answer, not giving you anymore detail than that, leaving you to speculate in silence about it, you found it unlikely that his vision had remained intact after taking a knife to the eye, though you supposed miracle stories could happen and he might’ve just been very lucky.

What had surprised you the most though, was weeks later, when you and him had been working together late one night, both absorbed in your respective tasks, you weren’t really paying attention to him, too preoccupied with finishing your own paperwork. He was though, you’d come to learn that he always was, his eyes always straying back to you, no matter how many times he tried to scold himself. You remember it like it was just yesterday, the scene playing out in your mind like a movie. That had been the start of something that meant so much more.

“it’s colour. I can’t see colour.” He’d said suddenly, his voice gruff from lack of use, the heavy Russian accent wrapping clumsily around the syllables of each word, startling you out of your state of deep concentration and forcing you to look up at him, your mouth agape at his sudden answer. The dim, amber lighting of the light above you, bouncing off the discoloured surface of his eye as he looks at you with an unwavering gaze.

“I- is it, weird…? Seeing colour with one eye and not with the other?” You’d replied to him after a beat, your voice coming out unsure as you took a hesitant step towards him, his two-tone eyes following your every movement like a hawk.

He’d never really given you a clear answer, his shoulders lifting in a shrug before dropping his gaze from yours and going back to his work, pensive look on his face as he continued to meticulously organize the papers before him. You didn’t blame him for not answering, hell, the fact that he even talked to you in complete sentences was something to marvel at. Considering he usually only interacted with his men, and even then, he would only really bark orders at them before dismissing them.

He tried though, you could tell he did, his English was choppy at best when he tried to talk to you, sometimes jumping back and forth to Russian when he couldn’t find his words. You’d started to learn Russian that way, and he started to learn English. It was beautiful really, now that you thought about it, he would teach you words in Russian, and you’d teach him the same words in English. He’d get frustrated when trying to pronounce some words and you’d giggle in your sleeve as he grew more and more flustered, the tips of his ears growing red with embarrassment until he huffed out a curse and gave up.

Your throat grows tight at the memory, eyes starting to sting with unshed tears as emotion threatens to overtake you, he was a complicated, brutal man, and yet he was so patient and gentle with you when you were together, his naturally gruff voice growing softer when he spoke to you. It hadn’t always been that way, of course, at first, he dismissed you as just another body in the sea of men he had to direct, not giving you his time of day, and barking orders your way the same way he would the rest of the men.

But then you’d started to make your mark, your work within the organization gaining more and more recognition from your peers, whispers growing and growing until they became a loud roaring in each room you would walk into, eyes tracking your every breath. Soldiers hanging onto your every word like they were prophecy.

He noticed, like he always did, way before everyone else did. Taking matters into his own hands and tracking your progress, reviewing everything you did himself before approving it to be passed down the chain of command, reeling in the few men who thought acting like dogs would get them anywhere but six feet deep with a bullet between their eyes. And so, the whispers started to change, echoes of Perseus’ executioner leaking from the cracks in the walls, men thrice your size averting their gaze when you walked by, in fear of angering their leader, knowing him as the type of man to not make threats, only promises.

He would seek your advice more often, confiding in you and asking your opinion on certain aspects of operations he wanted to greenlight. You’d been privy to the birth of many successful missions, a lot of which you’d tweaked and reworked under his careful guidance, the subtle glint in his eyes growing more and more every time you managed to surprise him, the pride in his voice unmistakable when those plans came to fruition.

One of those nights after a successful mission, he’d finally kissed you, it happened out of nowhere and even he seemed surprised about it. He’d been watching you all night from across the room, ice cold eyes trailing after you as you mingled with men unworthy of your attention, men who had no idea just exactly who they were talking to. His own thoughts surprised him, the sudden possessiveness coursing through his veins startling him and causing him to stiffen up in the corner of the room he was standing in, the men attempting to congratulate him on yet another successful operation immediately backing up at the sight of their leader so wound up.

You weren’t paying attention, not really, the sudden peak in popularity you were going through quite hard to digest at that time, going from “just another body” to Perseus’ Executioner was already taking its toll on you. So when a harsh slap resounded from across the room, startling everyone into silence, you took a second to understand what the buzz was about, your Russian at the time not as fluent as it was now, add to the fact that your brain was fuzzy from the effects of the alcohol you were drinking, the only words you caught amongst the whispers of the room currently staring in muted fear at their leader were “fucking mongrel” and “kill you where you stand.”

He'd stormed out after that, his anger palpable in the now silent room, the man victim of his wrath left to lick his wounds on the carpeted floor of the decorated conference room you were all left standing in, he wasn’t one for parties to begin with, he’d told you as much during one of your many late night conversations, social gatherings made him feel uneasy, especially when they served no purpose.

The remaining guests had slowly started to leave after that, some of them throwing you a questioning look as they walked out, forcing a frown to form on your face, sure you were still considered an outsider to this whole operation but you’d been with this team for months now, your work was paving the way for generations to come, Stitch was the first one to back that statement, his trust in you unwavering.

With that in mind, you decided to follow after him, trying to look as inconspicuous as possible in your endeavours as the fuzziness in your brain started to dissipate from the alcohol you’d been indulging in earlier. His usual hangout place in the late hours of the evening tended to be in a room adjacent to his office, he used it for multiple different purposes, and right now, that room held most, if not all, of your joint findings for future operations. You decided to check there first.

You found him hunched over one of the tables, a piece of paper crumpled in his large fist, his shoulders heaving under the thick charcoal material of his jacket, the hood covering his head doing little to conceal the man’s current emotional state. You took a hesitant step forward, not wanting to startle, or anger him further in the state he was in.

“Vik…?” You’d called softly, the nickname somewhat new and foreign to you, but you’d taken to calling him that when it was just the two of you alone, his alias always felt wrong to say, you were never quite able to put a finger on why exactly you felt that way about him, but when he’d given you his real name after countless nights spent working with you, you’d decided to go with it, accepting the gesture as what you could only imagine meant something far greater to him.

He never did answer you, his hooded head shaking back and forth in the confines of the room, the flickering light above you doing very little in terms of actual lighting, mostly casting shadows on every corner of the room, illuminating his figure but not highlighting any of his features.

He was mumbling something under his breath, the heavy notes of Russian syllables registering in your mind and forcing you to get closer to him in an effort to understand his tense ramblings. He’d heard you for sure, but he was probably too far into his own head to really acknowledge you at this point.

You took another hesitant step forward, coming to a stop next to him, his words sounding clearer now that you were next to him, but your brain still couldn’t find the right associations at that moment, too overwhelmed with the events of that day to make sense of it all.

“Vik- Can you slow down? I can’t make out what-“

He’d turned around then, his bright eyes pinning you in place, his right eye as blue as the iciest lakes of Russia, and his left eye, as white as the tallest peaks of the motherland’s mountains. He rarely held any warmth in them, even when he looked at you, it didn’t surprise you, after all, the man was a product of his environment, and his environment had been nothing but harsh and unforgiving. All in all, he’d come out of it mostly unscathed, a smart and intimidating man with a steel resolve and an ambition for revolution, it was hard to not admire him in that sense.

“Fucking pigs. Have no respect for their superiors.” He finally answered after a long moment of looking at you, his breathing had calmed down some and he was finally able to slow down when he spoke, the harsh, grating sound of his dialect oddly comforting to you.

You frowned at him then, not understanding his anger, closing the distance between the both of you and gently grasping onto the scarred hand that was holding onto the piece of paper you’d seen him crumpling up when you walked in, extricating it from his grasp and straightening it.

Your eyebrows shot up as you carefully unfolded the paper to reveal the source of his anger; a crudely drawn stick figure with pigtails and enormous breasts, bent over in front of a hooded stick figure holding a knife. The drawing obviously representing you and him engaging in something obscene.

At the bottom of the piece of paper you made out the words “Perseus’ whore”, scrawled in sloppy writing, no doubt an attempt at humor from whoever gave this to him. You shook your head as a deep sigh escaped you, crumpling the offending art project and throwing it in the bin next to the table.

“He’ll get what’s coming to him.” You whispered as you gently placed your hand onto his broad shoulders, the soft fabric of his jacket warm under your touch, your head tilting slightly to catch his eyes. “The men closest to us respect me as they respect you Vik, this will not go unpunished.”

“No matter. I will not allow such vile conduct from lowly insects. He will pay with blood.” He’d said, carefully enunciating every word to make sure you understood his meaning well, his voice had grown rougher with barely contained anger.

The tension in the room had suddenly come to a boiling point, you remember the feeling vividly, his eyes had slowly dragged up your body until they’d landed on your face. The intensity he’d held in his gaze at that moment seared in your mind forever. You feel your breath hitch just at the memory, your throat bobbing as you swallow uneasily.

“My executioner. Together we’ll watch the world burn.” He had finally said, his rough hand carefully taking your much softer one from where it lay on his shoulder, fingers intertwining as he’d closed the distance between you and him. His mask long forgotten on the table next to you, he’d probably taken it off when he walked in, chucking it carelessly onto the pile of paperwork currently taking up most of the surface.

You remember smiling at his ruthlessness, the rough Russian words had somehow seemed so romantic to you in that moment. You remember the way his scarred lips had felt as he’d finally pressed them onto yours, so warm in contrast to the cold man they belonged to. You remember the way he’d held you that night, the way his muscular body had felt against yours, the way he’d whispered your name almost reverently in between soft kisses, his body gently crowding yours against the desk, pushing you up onto it so he could fit himself between your legs, his lips never leaving yours.

He'd taken you, right then and there, on the desk. Pushed everything off the wooden surface so he could have access to all of you without restraint. His lips explored your skin, worshipping every inch of it, every scar, every blemish as if the simple touch of his lips would somehow atone for the sins of others against you. The words he’d whispered to you alternating between Russian and English, he wanted to make sure you understood just how much you meant to him.

You’d done the same to him, ensured to kiss every scar you could see, your fingers gently traced the damaged skin of each and every one of them as you whispered your own words of worship to him, the taste of his skin burnt into your DNA, the shape of each of his tattoos engraved into your mind forever.

That night changed everything.

The memory fades, your heart clenches in melancholy at the knowledge that you’ll never be able to regain his trust, his softness, his love. All that you were eclipsed, and all that could’ve been was now nothing but wishful thinking on your part.

Vikhor didn’t forget, most of all, he didn’t forgive.

After what feels like an eternity, he finally dismisses his men with a curt nod followed by a rough command, the armed men hastily retreating to their assigned post, leaving the hallway deserted for the most part and the path to his office clear.

You follow his gaze as he sweeps the hallway himself one last time, the iciness of his eyes as they take in every detail one last time makes your heart beat faster in your chest, and you’re not sure if it’s out of fear or excitement. After a moment his critical gaze lands directly on the door you’re hiding behind, his eyes squinting at the tinted glass as you duck, a curse escaping your mouth.

The majority of his face is hidden by the gas mask he constantly wears outside, coupled with the thick hood obscuring his head, it’s hard to make out his expression as he finally turns around and enters his office, the door clicking quietly behind him. A relieved sigh leaves your mouth, you shuffle quietly, gathering your thoughts and trying to calm the storm raging in your mind as you get closer and closer to what you came here to do.

You hope he’ll listen, at the very least let you apologize and explain to him what happened to you, maybe even believe you when you tell him that your heart never left this place, that your purpose was and still is to be at his side, to rule the empire you helped him build over the years.

You know your chances are slim to none, but a small part of you hangs on to that sliver of hope that he’ll spare you, that he’ll accept the information you bring him. You swallow uneasily as you get up from where you were crouching on the floor, you throat suddenly dry and constricted. Most of all, you hope that he’ll remember his love for you, the love you both shared for one another before all of this went down, before your entire identity was ripped to shreds, before you were ripped from him.

You scan the hallway one last time before opening the door as quietly as possible, your eyes jumping from corner to corner to make sure no one sees you. You know this place like the back of your hand, spent countless hours walking through these very halls, working with some of these people, and yet, you’re nothing more than a ghost now, another soul lost to the cause, another name whispered, another body never recovered.

You step carefully, gracefully to his office, the blinds behind the tinted window are always closed and today is no exception. You strain your hearing in an attempt to decipher what he’s doing behind the closed door, nothing reaches you but dreadful silence. You grasp the door handle with a sweaty hand, fingers shaking as they wrap around the cold metal, your breath quickening as you slowly turn the handle and push open the door, one foot stepping in before you stop dead in your tracks, your eyes widening.

The sight before you is enough to make your stomach drop, you see the man you love lounging behind his desk, relaxed as ever, one foot propped on top of it, the heavy military boots he wears resting on the worn wood as he stretches his body out. His right hand wrapped around his gun, the metal glinting menacingly in the dim light of the room as he slowly rocks the weapon back and forth in his hand, dragging it over the surface of the desk every so often.

His other arm hangs on the side of the chair, out of view. His head is inclined slightly to one side, eyes pinning you to the spot as he glares at you with an intensity you’ve only ever seen directed at insubordinates within his ranks. The sword of Damocles hanging over your head in the very room you’d engineered Perseus’ most successful hits.

You open your mouth to speak but no words come out, your breath rushes out of you as you try to find your footing.

“Close the door.” He finally says, his English rusty and broken, his eyes unwavering as he tracks your every move like a predator waiting to pounce. You fumble with the door for a moment before finally closing it.

“Lock it.” He tells you, his voice coming out as growl and forcing a shiver of uneasiness to trail up your spine, every fiber of your being telling you to run, to get away, to save yourself before it’s too late.

“Vik-“ You start quietly as you turn around to face him, not moving from where you stand in fear of angering him further.

“Vik? After all this time?” He interrupts you roughly in Russian, his tone dripping with venom and disdain at your use of his given name. You miss the way he flinches at your voice, the lighting in the room too dark to perceive the slight reaction.

“Please listen to me, I promise- I promise this isn’t what you think it is.” You answer back in Russian, your voice quivering with unshed tears as you take a hesitant step towards him, imploring him to find it in him to listen to what you have to say.

“Do you know how many men I have looking for you, executioner? Do you know the price there is on your head right now, my love?” He spits that last part at you like the word leaves a bitter taste in his mouth, like he can’t believe he ever called you that to begin with.

He gets up then, slowly, confidently, his foot slowly dragging across the desk before falling heavily on the floor with a dull thud, the weight of it making the desk tremble slightly. The barrel of his gun drags against the wooden surface as he slowly rounds the desk to come face to face with you, standing well over a foot above you.

His smell assaults you then, clean linen and a hint of fresh mint overshadowed by gunpowder that sticks to every piece of clothing he owns. A smell that was once familiar and comforting now eliciting a shiver of fear in you, pale eyes that once held your entire world now only hold anger and hurt, a hurt that runs so deep you feel your heart crack under the weight of his gaze.

“I’m sorry Vik, I’m so fucking sorry, you have to listen to me please-“ You whisper as your voice breaks under the torrent of emotion raging through you.

“The Americans, they took me, they experimented on me, forced me to forget everything, made me into their puppet so I could feed them information on Perseus.” You tell him, stumbling over your words as you try to make him understand what’s at stake. His eyes harden, the scar running through his left eye looks even angrier like this, the usually pale blue of his right eye now looks almost black as anger simmers in it.

You swallow uneasily as cold metal presses under your chin, forcing your head up and straining the muscles of your neck.

“And? Did you? Did you betray us? Did you betray me, my love?” He whispers as he presses the cold metal harder against the delicate skin there, the heat in his gaze igniting something inside you, it feels wrong, so fucking wrong but you can’t help yourself as a whimper escapes you.

“No. No, I- “ You swallow uneasily as you try to keep your head upright and your gaze on his, refusing the let him see how scared you are.

“I told them nothing, I invented false leads to throw them off your scent. I convinced them to let me come here to get information because I wanted to warn you- They’re coming Vikhor, they want your head, Adler wants your head.” At the mention of Adler his other hand shoots up to wrap itself around your neck, pushing you against the door violently, the hand holding the gun lets go suddenly, the weapon clattering to the ground.

His now free hand comes up to his masked face, ripping away the constricting contraption to reveal more of his scarred flesh to you, his full lips pulled back into a feral snarl as he lowers his head to your ear. “You’re telling me Russell Adler is outside this fucking building waiting for you to bring him intel on ME?!” He rasps out in a deadly whisper, the hand around your neck tightening as he slaps the other one against the surface of the door, making you flinch.

“No. Not here. I’m alone, I promise I came alone, they trust me, I made them believe they could trust me. You need to move to a different location NOW Vik, I’ll give them a random location to give you time to get your men mobilized but you can’t stay.” You reply, one of your hands closing gently around the one at your neck, squeezing gently, reassuringly. Your eyes pleading with him, trying to get through the thick layer of ice between you and him.

He smirks then, his lips twisting in a deformed grin, exposing perfectly white teeth from the corner of his mouth as his hand loosens and his thumb slowly drags across your lips, his breath fanning across your cheek as a humorless laugh escapes him.

“I should fucking kill you, make an example out of you, discard you like the dog you are.” He whispers seductively, his eyes fixated on your lips as his thumb continues to rub gently across the delicate skin there, trying to coax your tongue out to wet them.

“Vik-“ You whimper breathlessly, your heart beating wildly in your chest.

“No, instead I think I’ll let you continue on this mission of yours, you keep feeding them faulty information and you keep giving me information like the good little bitch you are, and maybe, MAYBE, I’ll let you live.” He growls out, his lips now dangerously close to yours, a wicked glint in his eyes as his tongue pokes out, dragging across his own lips as hunger starts burning through the glaciers nestled in his eyes.

His mouth is on yours then, he’s kissing you like he’s never kissed you before, desperation driving his every move as both of his hands cradle your face, one of his knees pushing your legs apart, forcing your core against his clothed thigh, the thick muscle under you flexing to accommodate you.

Your own hands grab onto the sides of his face, his strong jaw speckled in stubble, the rough texture of it making you moan into his mouth, giving him the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss, his tongue meeting yours for the first time in almost a year. A guttural groan escapes him at the taste of you, his desperation increasing tenfold as he suddenly scoops you up, one hand securely around your waist, while the other grabs a handful of your ass, encouraging you to wrap your legs around him.

You hear commotion as he drops you on his desk, his lips never leaving yours as he sweeps everything off the wooden surface, in one swoop all the clutter occupying his desk is sent flying across the room, you hear what you assume is a mug, shatter as it hits the floor.

His hands are grabbing everywhere at once, pulling at your clothing as he tries to get as close as possible to you, his need presses insistently against your stomach, pulling a moan from you as you try to move against him, your own delirium getting the best of you, all previous thoughts or worries gone from your mind as you finally feel him against you once more.

“Need you, Vik, please” You whine out, your hips straining towards his for any kind of relief, the Russian words coming from your mouth in such a needy manner pushing him into a frenzy, his hands dipping under the fabric of your shirt, pulling away from you just long enough to tear the piece of fabric off of you, exposing more of your skin to him. His hands immediately going to your breasts, pulling the cups of your bra low enough to expose them.

“Shut the fuck up, don’t say my name like that, not when you ripped my entire fucking heart out when you left, not when you left and took my soul with you. I couldn’t fucking think without you, I can’t fucking live without you.” He growls out, his voice betraying him as it cracks with emotion at his own admission.

Your answer comes as a moan as his lips wrap around one of your nipples, tongue curling over the sensitive bud, your hands tighten around his neck as you throw your head back in pleasure, hips grinding against his pulsing erection, the friction not nearly enough to provide any relief through the thickness of both your pants, you let out a frustrated cry at that, deciding to take matters into your own hands, you slide your fingers down his muscular chest, the wild thumping of his heart vibrating through your skin.

You reach his belt buckle a few moments later, nimble fingers working through the loops of his belt in quick efficient movements, finally freeing it. You hurriedly unzip his pants, his hips push into your hands as he continues to explore your skin, kissing and biting every inch of exposed flesh, making you his once again, making sure you’re real and not just a figment of his imagination.

When your hands finally wrap around the thickness of him, his forehead drops against your sternum, a grunt escaping his mouth as you slowly pump his length, your own mouth leaving a trail of sloppy kisses along his jaw, his name like a prayer on your tongue, reassuring him that you’re actually there, that you’re real, that you love him.

“Can’t- can’t wait. Need you, right here, right now.” He breathes out, his hands fumbling with your pants impatiently, almost tearing them in his haste to get them off of you, not even caring to remove them completely.

“I’m here, I’m here my love, take what you need.” You whisper reassuringly, your lips catching his in another kiss as his big hand cups your core, fingers dragging through your arousal before pushing one thick digit inside you, the tight ring of muscles relaxing around him as he starts thrusting his finger in a steady rhythm, more of your arousal leaking out around his hand.

You push your face against his clothed shoulder to muffle the sounds you make, not wanting to get caught, your teeth sinking into the thick layer of muscle when he adds a second finger, the soft squelching of your wetness resonating throughout the dark room, coupled with the soft curses leaving his mouth occasionally as you continue your own assault on him, precum leaking steadily from his tip and onto your hand, making a mess of his own.

“Always so fucking wet for me aren’t you? Even when you betray me, this pussy knows who it belongs to.” He growls possessively in your ear, his movements growing more relentless as you start clenching around him, the degrading statement only adding to your growing arousal.

You cum suddenly, violently around his fingers. Tears spring to your eyes as you throw your head back, a broken half sob, half moan escaping you as he continues to thrust his fingers slowly inside your pussy, your legs shaking from where they’re still hooked around his waist.

His fingers slide out of you, forcing a hiss from you at the sudden emptiness, but the feeling doesn’t last long, you feel the thick head of his length pressing against your opening, the familiar feeling causes a shiver to rip through you.

“Look at me. Wanna see you when I make you cum.” He commands, breaching you with a steady thrust. You struggle to keep your eyes open at the onslaught of pleasure overtaking you, your eyesight blurry from tears of pleasure threatening to spill out, but you nod clumsily, one hand twisting into the material of his sweater when he starts working himself deeper into you, his breathing growing ragged at the feel of you taking him deeper and deeper with each thrust.

You lose track of the words coming out of your mouth, Russian and English coming out as a jumbled mess, different variations of his name as well as pleas to let you cum fade into one another, his hips stuttering every so often when your voice cracks around the syllables of your prayers to gods who gave up on the both of you long ago.

His hands end up around your jaw once again, the roughened skin holding your face softly as his piercing eyes hold yours, his own jaw clenched hard enough to make the vein on his forehead jump with strain as he wrestles with his feelings and with the pleasure coursing through his body, wave after wave assaulting his senses like an unrelenting storm.

When your release comes, it’s an all-consuming inferno, the muscles in your core collapsing onto the heavy thickness of him within you, forcing his thrusts to turn erratic in turn. Your head thrown back in a silent scream as you soak the desk beneath you with the proof of your pleasure, a pleasure that gets stretched out as he chases after his own release, pumping into you with abandon, strong hands holding onto your head as his own eyes roll back into his head as he finally cums deep inside you.

You both lay there panting for a moment, your minds reeling, your hearts clenched tight with emotional turmoil, wanting to stay here forever, and wanting to disappear at the same time.

When he finally pulls out, a hiss escapes him, his eyes fixated on the evidence of your coupling slowly leaking out of your abused cunt as he tucks himself back into his pants gingerly, the mask of tense indifference he wore earlier falling back into place seamlessly.

“Go. Grab your shit. I’ll find you when I’m ready.” He grunts, turning around and exiting his office without another word, leaving you there.

[deirdra-hearts-nadia]

I've been thinking about the fandom for The Arcana, and I have come to the conclusion that it's weird as hell. In my 20+ years participating in online fandom spaces, I've never seen a fandom quite like this one. I've seen drama, sure, but the core of most fandoms is a large community of people who love the same media and come together to celebrate it.

The Arcana fandom is not like that. From the very beginning we're more fractured, more factional, more fragile than most. You just have to look around at all the posts lamenting the death of the fandom every 2 weeks to see that something is really wrong here.

And I think a lot of it has to do with the nature of the canon. I am not saying this to criticize The Arcana, the devs, Dorian, or my fellow fans. I have just noticed that, as a piece of media, this game occupies a very unique space that is reflected in the way its fans interact with canon and with each other.

Welcome to the TED talk ain't none of y'all asked for.

Part of what makes this fandom unique is the evolution of fandom as a whole in the face of new types of media. As gaming becomes more mainstream and games themselves become more complex, the way we engage has necessarily changed in response.

Books/ movies/ shows are slightly more static in terms of canon than video games; canon is what it is and how you interact with what is there is largely to do with who you are. Everyone has the same base material to engage with, and that results in a certain amount of constancy. You can't interact with The Princess Bride in a way that changes the movie, only in ways that change your own perception. There isn't a whole lot of room for OCs without rewriting canon, so fans tend to consume OC-based fiction and art with the assumption that it's likely to be self-insert wish fulfillment fantasy time. That isn't always true, but there is a reason the term Mary Sue was coined.

Otome games and other choice-based video games make a very different fan environment, because the way you interact with canon is completely different. You have to build a character in order to interact with the story, and your choices directly impact your experience of canon.

But most western choice-based games are in the context of a larger RPG universe, e.g. Fallout or Dragon Age. There is a lot more to the story than the romance plot and so there's a lot more world to experience, contextualize, and build upon. There's certainly plenty of unhinged ShepxGarrus erotica, but there's also an abundance of fanworks that engage with the plot, the worldbuilding, and the canon characters with relatively little of the player's character needing to be on the page at all.

By contrast, most otome games that make it to English-speaking fandom spaces are Japanese. The romance is the point, but we also start from a place of wariness of our fellow fans. Because there's a huge difference between "harmless weeb" and "orientalist fetishizing creepo," and you know going in that both ends of the spectrum are possible, there is an amount of caution. We curate our space, looking for the creators who align with our expectations and values before we ever begin to interact.

The Arcana falls in a very unique and odd space because it is an otome, but made by Americans, with an attempt at a diverse fantasy cast. It's intended to be for American/ English-speaking audiences and is marketed as such. But making a romance game in America is challenging. Our way of approaching online media, especially smartphone-accessible media, is super fucked up, right? We are constantly trapped between the dichotomies of moral duty (Must Protect The Children) versus appealing to the customer base (Boom Anime Babes with Tig Ol Bitties). Because this is a mobile game, the developers can't make money if the game is removed from the app store, so they want it to be rated teen at the most. But the enticing bit, the thing that captures a potential fan's attention, is the flirtation and sexy implications. So from the jump they're in a weird space purely because they chose to make a mobile game instead of an indie video game released on Steam or similar.

So now you have an inherently split audience: mature adults who know they're getting into a potentially explicit romance game, and young adults/teens who have grown up in a more insulated internet culture where normal words are replaced with Orwellian doublespeak, like "unalive" and "spicy time".

THEN you add in the fact that the developers tried to build a diverse fantasy world, which is a fantastic idea both from an inclusionary standpoint and a broader audience standpoint. But because they didn't employ any actual sensitivity readers (did they think they didn't need them because fantasy can't have racism? Did they justify it as not being in the budget? Would love to know what's going on there) they fell right into a lot of the classic traps. We've been over these time and again, so I won't get into them here. Suffice to say, there has been Discourse. The presence of those issues means that more experienced fans will see those things and call them out, and that criticism causes even more of a split: the zealous apologists versus the critics. And critics can fall into two further categories: those who love the canon and want to see it do better, and the bitches who just love having something to bitch about.

Unfortunately, this combination means that there are inherently factions to this fandom, with staunchly opposed approaches to the media. So even before you enter a fandom space, it's already wildly fractured simply because of the nature of base canon.

THEN add to that the fact that this game is a dating sim. And to engage with a dating sim, you have to build a character and make choices based on that character. Some people will approach this work as storytelling, and some will approach it as an escapist expression of self. Neither of these ways of engaging with canon is wrong. Enjoying a dating sim as Me But Better is fun and completely valid! Engaging with a dating sim as a storyteller collaborating with the developers is fun and completely valid! But the two approaches are opposed in purpose, and that can make it difficult for the two types of fans to engage with one another's work.

Storytellers will well and truly invest in building a character. They may even build out communities, countries, cultures, and languages to make their world all the richer. They are investing hours of blood, sweat, and tears into Their Craft, pouring themselves into an opus of quality fanwork. Unfortunately, this can sometimes lead to big feelings. Fan artists and writers may feel underappreciated if all they get out of their hard work is 2 likes and a gif of a wolf making AWOOGA eyes. They may feel that critique of their work is unwarranted, or that there's no point creating if no one will engage.

The romantics will engage with canon and fanwork from the perspective that "this is my fantasy romance time". Their OC isn't so much Original Character as Optimized Characteristics--that is, their perfect self. They are here for wish fulfillment fun times in the relative privacy and anonymity of the internet, and good for them! But that may mean that criticism of canon or their fan work feels excessively personal--it is very hard to detach the ego from the OC when that OC is a projection of your best self. They may view any critique as a personal attack as opposed to a good-faith attempt at engagement or conversation. This can lead to defensiveness, or to leaving the fandom outright if it feels too hostile.

Unfortunately all of these factions cause rifts in the community. This sometimes turns into fandom vigilantism, where people begin to see any fan who doesn't wholeheartedly agree with them as an enemy. I've seen friends experience bullying and cruelty over their OCs and their art. I've seen predators use the isolated nature of the fandom to further isolate and prey upon already vulnerable individuals. I've seen some really shitty stuff.

But I have also seen beautiful community flourish. I've made friends who feel more like family than my actual relatives. I've seen people work through struggles and overcome deliberate attempts to tear us apart, finding forgiveness and friendship along the way. I've seen myself and others grow because of the community and inspiration we found here. And I saw all of that because I found my people. And I hope, Arcana fandom, that the rest of you can find your people too.

[centrally-unplanned]

I actually never finished my "2024 in Review" posts because some life stuff got in the way - too late for any media review stuff to be that relevant, but for myself I wanted to review my own projects from the period. I post a lot of random stuff obviously but I do have that "I try to be a real writer & more" instinct going on, and I wanted to reflect on how those all turned out. Let's see what I accomplished last year - warning for a very "me" post up ahead:

2024 Stuff I Liked Post - My Own Stuff!

FLCLick Noise Book Translation: Finished February of 2024! Obviously a ton of that work happened in 2023, definitely seems like another time, but it counts. For a project that I knew would be way too niche to ever have much reception, I was very happy with the few-but-notable people who read it and clearly used it to expand their FLCL knowledge for their own projects (seeing "my" words in a YouTube video was kinda cool!). I still resonate with my write-up above - in so many ways this was an incredibly inefficient acquisition of knowledge, I could have just summarized the book in one post for people. But by hyper-analyzing every line as needed for translation, I dove far deeper into the material than any other method would allow, and all the little facts and asides - each useless trivia in isolation - built up into enough force to break through the wall and see the work in a whole new way. FLCL is forever imprinted on me; not just as a show, but as a process of understanding.

My reflection here is also somber though in that I do feel like I dropped the ball halfway. All projects have this feeling, to be clear - the idea that it could be "more", a stepping stone to something greater, is a siren call that your own abilities and available time can never really heed. Still, for FLCL I definitely had the idea of something bigger - a sort of complete "documentary archive" for the work. I had all these other sources that I half-collected over time; I posted the translation of the FLCL Proposal & Early Drafts, I posted a scan of the GAINAX Interviews Tsurumaki Section, and ofc scattered throughout my blog is a dozen other FLCL stuff. But I never actually read & wrote a summary of that latter interview, and I posted about importing this other 2010's interview but I never scanned it or read it! I just ran out of steam, as people do. Now I am far enough removed from it that pivoting back to it involves digging up emotional energy that has settled down. There are a bunch of random things I have found and imported that I never got to really discuss, so clearing that backlog is on my agenda this year and that will include some of the above. But the bigger project...I will have to think on that.

Fortunately the book stands alone, and I can take pride in that as a true-blue archival work of anime history. Which, you know, is pretty sad to take pride in - but whatever, welcome to Tumblr.

Welcome to The Bronze: This one was just a lot of fun to write. You can't plan kismet like this; sometimes you just stumble upon a documentary by a bunch of buffy nerds waging the culture war of its time and setting you up to discover a really damn interesting chapter of the history of the early internet! I liked this work because it stretched me a bit - I hadn't blended that "documentary history of the internet" angle with a media review quite so aggressively as this, and the concept fits my whole vibe really well. I think I did a good job crystalizing the fights & obsessions of an era now lost, which is one of things I like doing the most in my "work".

And I hadn't really tackled something this deeply in the western fandom space! I will ofc still do anime stuff but I do want to broaden myself a bit more - you gotta find the spark but they are out there for sure. And not gonna lie, not having a massive language barrier made things a ton easier lol. One of my top goals for 2025 is building on this a bit and making sure I tackle projects in new spaces beyond my niches.

On reviewing it I think I could have been nicer to the documentary? I am a quipping asshole after all, I like that stylistically. But I do think how much I like these people comes through, so I don't think it is a huge problem.

The director of this movie lives in the DC area by the way. I have, many times over the past months, thought about emailing her and asking if she would do an interview. Or just shoot the shit over coffee about something from 20 years I am sure she has no interest in remembering lol. Maybe I will run into her someday...

The Dai Nippon Controversy: This is the "weeb" version of The Bronze post, a shoulders-deep wade through a pool of completely arcane fandom drama lost to time, that just so happened to circle some immensely important people in the history of anime "before they were cool". I love this essay - it was pure luck to stumble on the source material, the people of the era positively vibrate with the sense that what they are doing is ~Important~ in a way you can never really muster today, and I was able to connect that to my wider themes of shifts in the otaku subculture. It both stands alone and is data from that mythical "history of otakudom" I am always building in my mind.

It was also just a real stretch to research, combining going through Yahoo auction listings for preview photos of relevant articles and combining them with archived Dutch Sci Fi magazines, and through that source diversity I got a better look at this time than I think I could have otherwise. Sometimes it all comes together!

California Crisis: A small one to wrap this up, I liked this piece because at this point I really don't do "straight" media analysis any more? It doesn't really excite me, not the way some of my older posts do. But I can still enjoy it with the right framing, and the way I blended archival work, the "narrative" around the piece in western culture, and a true-blue "what are the themes of this work" explanation made me like doing it again. Like so many of my essays, I liked California Crisis beforehand as a silly little OVA, but now I love it because I spent the time with it. It is nice to go back to those days sometimes. This was an "attack of opportunity" essay for sure, you can't force it, but when it works it works.

---

Anyway, those are my good works - a bunch of this is repetitional from previous posts, but that is the point of a year-end wrap-up! Though there is something I wanted to note - what isn't on the list. Namely, any of my writings on politics, economics, or history. In certain sense this isn't fair - The Swing Won't Save You is a perfectly good essay for example, I think it came out well. But it was "easy" to write, I did not put my nose to the grindstone to make it, or grow in the telling. I remember it because it has a snazzy title if we are being honest! And so on for many other posts that did have effort put into them. Maybe I am missing some I should single out, I didn't do an every-post dive into my archive (I should do that honestly!) or anything.

But I think I just failed to prioritize real-deal essays in the space this year and that was a mistake. Inspiration, the distraction of the election, comparative advantage (I am a middling political commentator, but "within the space" I think I add some real value on the anime & media history stuff), all that contributed to that failure. And no harm in that, I post for fun and none of this matters. I still want to "do better" this year though - one of my big goals is to really tackle some deeper political-historical works. I have some ideas in that space, so it is time to put this into practice.

[gacha-incels]

imo this is another reason it’s so frustrating to have these young idk ~20 year old type “content creator” shills treating this entire thing like it’s some z-list western youtuber vs youtuber drama blasting no-context and misinfo out buckshot to their extremely impressionable young audience. when you look at their social medias their entire online life revolves around this specific game company and playing their games and posting about their games and making “content” about their games and following other kids who post about their games and play their games and post about their games etc. - essentially consumption of this media has become a central facet of their personality, and any slight on the product is now a slight on them personally. there’s also a growing cult of personality around the director that fosters another type of parasocial relationship. I’ve never witnessed “fandom” spaces for an extended period of time like this so it’s been surprising to me just how extreme all of this gets. But when something threatens the media that these fans have tied so closely to their sense of self they are going to be easily manipulated into placing the blame on a particular group or separating into an Us vs Them mentality. In this case so many of them have been laser focused on exonerating Project Moon that they’re slandering and putting targets on artists who do not deserve to be harassed and groups that are genuinely helping victims of feminist ideological verification in South Korea. at some point the short-sightedness of this becomes obscene.

I don’t think any of these kids and young adults (not saying this to demean you, the typical age group is ~ 16-22) comprehend the severity of the systemic issue that Project Moon had (and has) put itself into. This isn’t My Side vs Your Side, this is about violent antifeminism, systemic misogyny and worker’s rights in South Korea. This is not about you as a fan of a videogame, especially if you do not live there. Again I genuinely do not think Project Moon superfans should be making posts about this issue if you are looking at it in the latter way and not the former. You see this as some “drama” or “event” that effects you and the fans as individuals and the words “vellmori left on her own” or “watch the video” will make people stop talking about it. You repeat this with no contextual knowledge of how any of the labor laws or defamation laws in South Korea work, you look at this case in the bubble of your video game and nothing else. No one serious is doing this tit for tat bullshit in South Korea. I’ve literally been following this case and similar cases for over a year now, you can scroll through this entire blog’s archive and see the landslide of similar feminist ideological verification cases that have taken place since Project Moon’s. PM 7/25 is still referenced as a significant event when newspapers publish articles about this issue. No one is waffling about if the artist left on her own, they understand the situation in their own country. The strange idea that has somehow spread in the English speaking community that KGCS is some grifter group is absolutely baffling. The posts in english “warning” not to donate to them were hilarious at best and extremely condescending at worst, you’re talking like this is some scam gofundme. They probably don’t even know you exist. They typically raise the money they need within a couple of hours, close the donation pool, and then refund anyone who asks. This group not only helped Studio Ppuri’s animator avoid being fired in an event that almost mirrored project moon’s, they raised money for her legal fees that she used to press criminal charges against her harassers and helped set up meetings with the animation directors to explain the “controversial” shots. This was one of the biggest cases of targeted attacks from incel men, it had the chickenshit company Nexon deleting Studio Ppuri’s videos and their studio name was removed from the credits in the Korean broadcast of Solo Leveling. you can search the studio ppuri tag on this blog to see it all, I’ve found an article that has a short interview with the animator that I’ll post later.

Needless to say this is a serious societal, systemic issue, it does not deserve some westerners butting their heads in because they don’t want to feel guilty about playing a videogame. It’s disturbing to see this treated like some drama you just want to be over. it’s gross to watch information twisted and used in pedantic tit for tat arguments you only care about the end product of - “winning” and stopping any further discussion or “drama”. Please get some perspective.

[tameblog]

While I enjoy experiencing all types of plants at the botanic gardens I visit, I have always been entranced by stunning bonsai specimens and actively seek out bonsai collections whenever I can. Bonsai continue to gain popularity in North America, and expanding collections can be found in institutions across the United States. Growing up in the Chicago suburbs, I fondly remember frequent visits to the Chicago Botanic Garden in Glencoe, Illinois. As I’ve never lived more than two hours from the Windy City, these visits have continued regularly over the last 40 years and often include a look at their masterful bonsai collection. Originating from the 6th-century Chinese practice of penjing, the art of creating miniature landscapes atop earthenware (“potted scene”), the Japanese art form of bonsai (“tree in a pot”) was adopted around the 12th century. Following World War II, this Japanese tradition became increasingly accessible and has found an immense following worldwide. The many nuances of how to successfully engage in bonsai, which is essentially growing and shaping a plant in a container, are covered in myriad references. There are also many active bonsai societies and practitioners that offer experience, guidance, and advice. To gain some insight on the basics of bonsai, I corresponded with Chris Baker, curator of bonsai at the Chicago Botanic Garden (CBG). He provided some wonderful information about bonsai, described the beautiful collection at the garden, and discussed the goals this collection aims to achieve. What started as a humble collection has grown into a diverse display of trees and forms. Left: Hinoki cypress (Chamaecyparis obtusa, Zones 4–8), right: Limber pine (Pinus flexilis, Zones 4–7). How long has CBG featured bonsai specimens? In 1978, the collection started as a small display on a bench structure in the east courtyard of the Education Center. That collection was removed when the courtyards were redesigned in 1994. In 1995, the Botanic Garden Committee of the board of directors approved the east courtyard being used as a display area again. At that time, between 10 to 15 trees were shown at any given moment during the display season. Both courtyards were renovated again in 2006, and the bonsai can now be seen on both sides. Since the space has doubled, 32 trees can be exhibited to the public. One of the most common landscape shrubs gets a whole new look in the CBG bonsai collection. Here, a hybrid yew (Taxus × media, Zones 4–7) proves it can be just as aesthetic as it is functional. How many specimens do you currently curate? There are about 260 trees in the collection, with around 125 considered display quality. We currently have over 160 different taxa. Some of our bonsai are imports from Japan, but many others feature North American tree species. What are some of your favorite plants for utilizing in bonsai, considering your Midwest location? The ponderosa pine (Pinus ponderosa, Zones 3–7) is the dominant pine tree in the western United States, found in mountainous areas from British Columbia to Mexico, and east to North Dakota and Texas. There are many great species that can be used as bonsai specimens, and we try to utilize North American species whenever we can. Some of those include ponderosa pine (Pinus ponderosa, Zones 3–7), Jack pine (P. banksiana, Zones 2–6), bald cypress (Taxodium distichum, Zones 4–9), eastern larch (Larix laricina, Zones 2–5), American hornbeam (Carpinus caroliniana, Zones 3–9), and eastern white cedar (Thuja occidentalis, Zones 3–7). On the opposite end of the spectrum, bald cypress (Taxodium distichum, Zones 4–9) is native to the swamps of the southern United States but can be found in coastal areas as far north as southern Missouri. What three tips would you give beginners interested in bonsai? Getting into bonsai is like exploring any other form of gardening, and the basics are much the same. Before you can get to work pruning and training a tree to your will, you must select the species that is right for your location and needs. One: Know your environment. How much sun do you have? How much shade do you have? How often can you water? This will tell you what species will work best for your bonsai. Two: Do your research. Research details on specific species: what do they need regarding light, water, heat, shade, feeding, and so on? Find the species that matches or comes as close to the conditions you can provide. Three: Master one or two species at a time. Don’t get several different trees that all have different requirements (i.e., tropical, deciduous, pine, evergreen). Like any other collection of plants, mastering the vastly different needs of various species will take time. Don’t overwhelm yourself with too much to learn too early on. Pick your poison. Are you more likely to have success with a tropical species like natal plum (Carissa macrocarpa, Zones 9–10), or a cool-climate evergreen like Japanese white pine (Pinus parviflora, Zones 4–7)? How do you see the CBG bonsai collection developing in the future in terms of presence and display at the garden? It is always my goal to make the bonsai as relevant as possible when it comes to the garden as a whole. Being involved in yearly themes, extending display times, and hosting events are some ways I try to do that. Visit chicagobotanic.org/ChrisBaker for more information on Chris and the collection Information regarding Chicago Botanic Garden can be found on their website: chicagobotanic.org Find more information on bonsai: And for more Midwest regional reports, click here. Mark Dwyer is the garden manager for the Edgerton Hospital Healing Garden in Edgerton, Wisconsin, and he operates Landscape Prescriptions by MD. Photos: Mark Dwyer Fine Gardening Recommended Products Wagner's 52003 Classic Blend Wild Bird Food, 6-Pound Bag Fine Gardening receives a commission for items purchased through links on this site, including Amazon Associates and other affiliate advertising programs. Classic wild bird food uses the highest quality grains to attract backyard wild Birds. A high-quality mix containing Millet, milo, cracked corn and Sunflower for a wide range of wild birds to enjoy. Perfect for tube, hopper, or platform feeders. Great to feed in all seasons! Perfect for the winter, when seeds are scarce; spring and summer for hatchlings; and autumn to give energy to migrating birds. This seed will help you fill your yard with birds such as Jays, cardinals, doves, Juncos, finches, goosebeaks, any many more. 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Part of the Razorsharp Advantage collection, the obvious choice for gardeners who demand and expect precise, powerful performance. "Grow Your Own" Great British Growing 2020 Award Winners. Source link

[deathblossomed]

Other details about Botan's wedding to @thuganomxcs for consideration.

Any mention of canon muses is purely in my own head so if u rp someone here and dont vibe thats coolio !!

Wedding took place at Genkai's Temple, it has special meaning to the both of them and it's a safe space where they can freely invite demons and spirits.

There were multiple barriers around the area to keep out trouble, including one from Koenma. Given the amount of demons on the guest list, most would have known to avoid the region anyway.

They had plenty of friends to help with the prep. Shizuru did Botan's hair and makeup, Kurama supplied a plethora of flowers, including the ones braided into Botan's hair and on her dress and kimono, and Hiei was on guard duty in a tree somewhere (he says the only reason he came to such a boring human event was because these fools will surely wind up attracting trouble. Not because he cares, there just might be a good fight. tsk.) Also Yukina was tasked with making him show up and be nice. And she made an ice sculpture. Kuwabara was in charge of 'Yusuke duty' which included keeping him in his clean tux/kimono until at least after the ceremony, no fist fighting guests, no peeking in Botan's dressing room. Atsuko was perhaps the scariest of the group, she would destroy anyone who interrupted things.

There was a meld of traditional and modern/western elements. In the morning, they had the cleansing and sake sharing ceremony in kimono and then changed to more modern attire for the vow reading and pronouncement. Koenma walked Botan down the aisle and gave Yusuke a secret telepathic warning to take care of his best ferry girl, or else he'll revoke his resurrection.

At the 'does anyone object part' the rise in demon aura was... scary. And coming mostly from Atsuko.

Among the invites were the psychic group, Botan's friends from Reikai, the demon tournament allies, and Raizen's friends. It was quite a lively crowd. And also your muse, person reading this whose muse is friends with one of them

Genkai haunts the event to give Yusuke a prewedding pep talk (beat down). Since it's her temple, it's not a hard visit. She says she can't believe her idiot student finally convinced someone to tolerate him enough to marry his punk ass. And that he better remember his promise not to run away from his emotions and stay alive because she's been enjoying the peace and quiet. Although, she trusts that Botan is more than capable of kicking some sense into him if he ever loses his way. So he better protect her. And she now sees why they call it a monkey suit (lovingly). She doesn't reveal herself to Botan until after the ceremony as she doesn't want her and the whole group freaking out over it. She just stopped by to mock Yusuke. To Botan, all she says is that she's a strong girl, strong enough to keep a dumbass like Yusuke in line. And that she's glad he'll be in good hands. Botan cries.

Pu gets a lil bow tie and gets to be the ring bearer. Botan's ring is nontraditional as a boring diamond just doesn't suit their weird relationship. Maybe it's some stone from Makai? I don't know but it's pretty!

It takes all of her self control not to instinctively kick Yusuke when he removes her garter

[covenofvenus]

Year of the Wood Snake - January 29th, 2025 Astrological Forecast & Patreon Lunar New Year Group Ritual

While most people in the Western world are familiar with the solar-based Gregorian calendar which standardizes January 1 as New Year’s Day for simplicity and global consistency, the Lunar New Year aligns with the Moon’s cycles and is the astronomically accurate start of the New Year. This Lunar New Year starts on the second new moon after the Winter Solstice, aligning with Earth's seasonal cycles.

Lunar New Year celebrations, observed primarily in East and Southeast Asia and other lesser-known traditional cultural folk traditions, honor the traditional and spiritual connections to nature’s rhythms on this day.  

This year, Lunar New Year begins on January 29, marking the Year of the Wood Snake according to the Chinese Zodiac. 

This year's zodiac sign, the Snake, holds metaphysical associations with intuition, wisdom, healing and transformation, resonating with the energies of contemplation and adaptability. The Wood Snake is a charming, intelligent and creative sign, but also secretive, cunning and sometimes ruthless. The Snake is a double-edged creature, embodying both wisdom and danger. While it offers opportunities for growth and insight, it will require careful navigation to avoid its hidden perils. 

Snake years encourage protection, so create a safe space to work and live by practicing good spiritual hygiene or feng shui to feel safe and secure to enhance the year’s energy. This is the year to make headway in methodical and strategic ways. There is no need to exhaust your energy: adopt the nature of the Snake with awareness and a greater sense of timing, ready to strike when the time is right to maximize the energy of the year. 

For additional personal horoscopes according to your Chinese Zodiac ( click here )

Lunar New Year Spiritual Tips 

Renewal and Cleansing: 

Cleaning homes and offering prayers symbolize the removal of negative energy. 

Prepare for prosperity and health by performing rituals connected to protection, purity and blessings. 

Astrological Practices: 

Check out your natal chart to align life decisions with zodiac energies for this year. 

Practices like meditation, Feng Shui, and mindful goal setting align with the transformative Snake and Lunar year. 

Chinese Traditions Rooted in Lunar Phases: 

Lantern festivals and fireworks acknowledge the transition from darkness to light, symbolizing hope and positivity. 

Key Symbolism: 

Snake: Metamorphosis, cunning, and wisdom. 

Wood: Growth, stability, and connection to nature. 

Western Astrological Forecast of the Lunar New Year

Astrologically the placements of this day are incredibly unique, allowing me to craft a group spell designed to spiritual cleanse your path, and maximize your personal blessings.

The Sun, Moon, Mercury, and Pluto are also forming a stellium in Aquarius. This stellium transits all 12 astrological houses throughout the entirety of the day, starting in 4th house and ending in the 5th houses.

There is also difficult and poorly aspected Jupiter in Gemini in Retrograde, bringing significant obstacles, challenges and difficulty to the new year while also transiting all of the houses, during this day.

Since Jupiter is planetary guardian of wishes and fortune, this year's Group Ritual will also include elements for overcoming challenges, delays and adversity - protecting you from disaster - while giving you a leg up and drawing in new blessings and good fortune for the rest of 2025, to intuitively counteract these negative aspects.

Click the link Shop Group Ritual Below:

[dovesmelodyproject]

Dove's Melody Project FAQ

• What is the Dove’s Melody Project?

Dove’s Melody Project is a blog where you can find information about ongoing music industry boycotts, news, protests etc. The goal is to make people aware of these boycotts, why they are being done and so they can stay informed on what to do and how they can participate in it

• Why are people trying to boycott music labels & kpop companies?

The big three are western music (Sony Music, UMG & Warner) as well as the big 4 (HYBE, SM, JYPE) and Starship Entertainment have zionists working under these companies, collaborated or have sponsors with zionist brands, had zionist producers working for them & have CEOs that support the genocide and actively fund it. Kakao Entertainment is also a company people are trying to actively boycott since they distribute half of the Kpop industry’s music and have ties with Israeli companies. If you want more information about the boycotts, you can check out Zionists In Music on both Twitter and Instagram, you can check this carrd for information about the HYBE boycott

• How are these boycotts supposed to help?

Zionism thrives off propaganda and said propaganda is being spread by higher-ups in the music industry as we speak. Not to mention, said people are directly funding that genocide with money from music consumers. Them existing in this industry, means they have the money and the connections to keep spreading propaganda whether it’s in the industry or through their social media. This propaganda is one of the reasons why this genocide is still able to keep happening and thriving! If these people are no longer in this space or in a position of power, it will stop the propaganda and also people’s money will not be used to fund a genocide anymore. It’s imperative that we don’t allow these CEOs and music executives to keep thriving in this space since they don’t deserve to be here in the first place. If you want to understand how these streams can fund the genocide, you can refer to this thread. If you don't have Twitter and can't check out the thread, you can check it through this post.

• How long will these boycotts last?

Until the needs are met! Meaning, when these people are possibly fired or removed from their positions and these labels and companies are no longer supporting or funding the genocide or supporting brands that are zionist

• Will the artists under these labels/companies will be affected by this boycott?

Honestly, that’s the last thing that should be on your mind right now. The boycotts are being done because we are in solidarity with Palestinian people and we want these labels and companies to stop platforming zionists and also fund the genocide. Some of the artists you might listen to are pretty established in the industry or are from these big companies and the truth of the matter is, they might not be affected. These artists must realize why this is being done and why we need to take such measures to get our point across