#also! I've been playing The Quarry recently!

[buttercup-art]

hey

[zombiigrll]

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INSECURITIES. ⋆｡°✩ carl grimes x reader .ᐟ WORD COUNT .ᐟ ⭑ 1.1K ꩜ .ᐟ WARNINGS ⭑ hurt to comfort, use of y/n, spoilers for twd 6x9, carl and reader are already in a relationship .ᐟ SUMMARY .ᐟ ⭑ you help carl after he gets shot. ꩜ .ᐟ A/N .ᐟ ⭑ ive been rewatching the early seasons of the walking dead and seeing everything carl went through again makes me SOB HYSTERICALLY. so ofc i needed to write this and make you guys feel my pain 😈 my creative juices have also been flowing a little bit more recently... but its also a little short too......... hope u dont mind 🙏

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he never showed any of his insecurities to you before. he always made sure that you felt comfortable telling him things, but he would never fully open up to you.

you were aware of his mother passing, that his dads friend died, and just how he's experienced so much death. but he never told you how anybody died. he wouldn't tell you no matter what.

that was until the walkers flooded the streets of alexandria.

as always, you were by carls side. you held his right hand in line as you two along with rick, michonne, jessie, ron, and sam walked through the herd in gut-stained ponchos, attempting to lead them to the quarry nearby.

but everything went downhill. fast.

sam saw something in the herd. no one was sure what, but he freaked out. his cries were loud, and gave away his position.

the walkers killed him, then they made their way to jessie, who had refused to let go of sams hand.

and if it wasn't for you using your machete to cut her arm off, carl would've died, too.

you thought that was it, that you would just have to slash through some more walkers to get somewhere safe, but not yet.

you looked to the side and noticed ron pointing his gun right to you.

but right as he shot, michonne stabbed him.

you were supposed to get shot. but due to the timing...

"dad..?" you heard carl from your left.

you turned to face him, and you immediately noticed his eye.

it was gone. a trail of dark crimson leaking from his socket. you caught him before he could fully fall.

"no.. no, no!" you cried trembling as you held him.

rick runs over and picks carl up. you and michonne pull out your weapons and begin clearing a path with adrenaline coursing through the three of you.

you guys eventually make it to the infirmary.

rick places carl onto the bed. the rest of that night, a loud ringing played in your ears.

your mind raced wildly. thinking of all the possible outcomes, but you were sure he was going to die. i mean, he was shot in the face.

after the nurse helped patch him up the best she could, you sat on the opposite side of rick. rick held one of his hands, you held the other. you rested your head on top of his shoulder, sobbing.

rick was crying, too. praying for carl to be okay.

that's when you felt his hand hold yours back, tightly.

you lifted your hand up to look at rick, and he had the same expression. he was holding both of your guys' hands.

your sobs turned hopeful as you began to smile.

...

a few days had passed. carl was awake, thankfully. he tried to get you to leave the room, but you refused.

"i don't want you to see me like this." carl strenly spoke, his voice cracking slightly as he attempted to hide his face.

you walked over to his side, putting your hand up to his face to carefully cup his now scarred cheek. you turned his face so he could look at you. "i'm not going anywhere."

he sighed and closed his eye, knowing he wouldn't be able to make you go away. "i don't understand you."

"what?"

"after everything i've done.. you're still here with me." he lightly chuckled. "i'm really not a good person, y/n. theres so much you don't know about me."

"nothing you could tell me would make me believe that." you shook your head, moving your hand down to his and holding it tightly.

"you say that now.." he turns his head away. "if i told you what i've done, you'd think i'm a monster. you'd hate me."

"you're not a monster, carl. what are you talking about?"

"i've killed people. a kid i didn't know the name of, my dads friend.. my mom." he kept his eyes shut as he spoke, his voice and body trembling.

you held his hand tighter, looking at him softly. "i'm sure there were reasons to all of that. i don't believe you're a monster."

carl stayed silent.

you brought your other hand up, moving his hair behind his ear before holding his face.

"i love you. no matter what." you smiled at him with your eyebrows furrowed. "no matter who many people you've killed or hurt, no matter if you've done shitty things in the past, no matter how many scars, i don't care. because i love you."

he opened his eye to look at you, he quickly sat up and put his arms around you, putting his head in the crook of your neck.

"hey.. be careful for your eye." you put your arms around him carefully, your hand on the back of his head.

"i love you, too." he silently mumbled. "i don't understand how i got so lucky with you."

you laughed, kissing the top of his head. "i've done bad things too, carl. it's just something we can't avoid now. it doesn't make us monsters." you pushed away from the hug, leaving your hands on his shoulders. "i got lucky with you, too. in my eyes, you're an angel."

his eye moves all over your features. you knew he had been adjusting and learning how to see without his other eye, but seeing it happen right in front of you was a bit difficult to witness.

"i should've been the one that got shot. you saw me kill jessie." you sighed, your gaze turning down to the floor. "he was aiming at me."

carl shakes his head. "it's not your fault. it's no ones fault. if he had shot you, i think he would've really killed you. but i got shot, and i'm alive." he smiles at you, tilting his head as he continues taking you in. "i'm glad it was me."

you tilted your head, pursing your lips slightly. "i guess either way, no matter who got shot, no one would be okay with it." you laughed, trying to make light of the situation. "...you should get some rest."

"i know." he moves away and lays back down, looking back up at the ceiling.

you stand up, leaning down to give him a quick kiss on his forehead before turning back away to the door. "goodnight, carl."

"wait."

you turned back around. "hm?"

"...could you stay?" carl asked, his voice softened.

your lips curved up into a smile, walking back over to him. "of course." you sat back down next to him, holding his hand again, similarly to when he was first shot. "get some sleep, okay?"

he nodded, closing his eye. "alright. i love you."

"i love you too, carl. always."

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[karniss-bg3]

Thank you so much for fulfilling my request! It was so well written, I've already reread it a few times today lol. I imagine a followup writing request to that (if you wanted to) could be a lovely comfort time of Tav patching up Kar'niss in the morning after they both get some well deserved rest. Thanks again!

[Part 2 of this post.]

[Music]

The melodic chirping of birds filtered into Tav’s ears, morning breaking over the encampment. They could feel the pulse of a headache coming on after an uneasy night of rest. The events of the prior evening were still fresh in their mind playing over and over on a loop. Their eyes opened, staring at the ceiling of their tent, pondering what steps to take next. The first priority was to make sure Kar’niss was still doing well and after that play it by ear.

They rose from their bed roll and exited the tent, stumbling into the sunlight which assaulted their eyes making them burn. Nearby their companions had gathered around the camp fire to sort out breakfast, preparing for the long road ahead. Kar’niss was not among them. Tav frowned and wandered over to the edge of camp, spotting the boulder they’d left Kar’niss sleeping on the night before. His perch had been abandoned, streaks of dried blood peppered over the uneven surface. The blanket and pillow had also been left behind in a haphazard pile suggesting Kar’niss had moved sometime recently.

“Did anyone see where Kar’niss went?” Tav asked.

“Yes,” Laezel replied. “The spider-kin stirred just before dawn and retreated into the forest. I did not give chase, he did not seem to require aid.”

Tav rubbed the back of their neck, a slow exhale soon following. “Thank you. Give me a few moments, I want to check on him.”

Tav went to work. First, they retrieved a bucket and filled it to the brim with water from the nearby river. Then they collected medical supplies, a cloth, and their flute, placing them in their pack. Once the satchel was hoisted over their shoulder they lifted the bucket by the rope handle and wandered into the treeline after the drider.

They wouldn’t need to search long especially with the light of day keeping the area moderately lit. They came across a massive nest of webbing spanning across several trees, an intricate weave of thick silk lines that made a wall of white just ahead of them. Nearby Tav could see a deer carcass, it’s body drained of it’s fluids to the point it’s flesh wrinkled and caved in on itself. At least he’d been fed, Tav thought. They placed the bucket down and peered up into the branches in search of their quarry, squinting when rays of sun pierced their retinas from time to time. That was when they spotted it. A round dome of webbing stretched over heavy branches formed a cocoon-like dome with a single entrance near the tree itself. While Tav couldn’t see Kar’niss directly they did spy the very tip of his legs poking out of the doorway, suggesting he had nestled himself tightly into the space in an effort to hide and protect himself.

What concerned them were the noises they heard, quiet but audible. A low, thrumming click generated by Kar’niss’ throat suggested he was in pain. It was akin to a steady purr but by no means positive in pitch.

“Kar’niss? It’s Tav. Are you alright?”

They could hear shuffling from above, the drider seemingly backing up more into their nest. “Go away,” he hissed in frustration.

Tav frowned at his dismissal, their arms moving to cross over their chest. They began to tap their foot as their lips pressed into a thin line. “I can’t help you if you’re up there and I am down here. Please?”

Kar’niss didn’t respond, retreating deeper into his webbing. Tav took in a steady breath while rubbing over one of their arms. They wandered over to the tree, reaching out to feather their fingertips over the web, admiring how sticky and soft the adhesive silk was. They turned around and leaned back against the exposed portion of the tree, their shoulders taking on a slump while their mind was hard at work on a solution. Several moments of silence passed, the quiet drifting breeze mingled with Kar’niss’ labored breathing the only sound to be heard. Tav closed their eyes and exhaled firmly.

“I know you’re afraid. If you want to know the twisted truth of it, we all are. Everyone here has something to lose, or something they are running from. They put on a brave face because they have to, it’s the only thing keeping them from falling apart. But most importantly, none of us would’ve been able to make this journey alone. We may not always agree or get along but we are all working toward the same goal; Freedom.” Tav rubbed at their weary eyes, their palms sliding across their face until their fingertips coiled against the tip of their chin. “I don’t know everything that has happened to you but the thing is I don’t need to. I can tell you’ve endured endless horrors, seen things you wish you hadn’t, suffered unspeakable torture. You don’t have to suffer your burdens alone, Kar’niss. Not anymore. If you’ll let me I can help you but I can’t do that if you hide from me. I gain nothing by hurting you.”

Tav could hear some light movement above them but they opted not to look up to avoid spooking the uneasy drider. “At least come down and let me clean the blood off, patch up the worst of the wounds. That way you can heal and regain your strength.” They’d pause, their gaze dropping to the matted grass beneath their feet. “If I wanted you dead I had the perfect opportunity to make that happen last night. You were vulnerable, unhinged, distracted. I didn’t hurt you though, did I?”

Kar’niss’ front legs jutted from the doorway of the cocoon, his head peeking out to peer down at Tav. “No,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

Tav turned around to peer up at him, finally able to see the one he’d grown familiar with along their journey. “Then I think you owe me at least this much. Come down.” They lifted an arm and extended their hand in Kar’niss’ direction.

He eyed the hand with an air of skepticism, mulling over all that had been said. Eventually he crawled his way out of the elevated burrow, climbing his way down the tree. Tav stepped back to make room, able to finally assess the damage up close. Kar’niss was battered and bruised, particularly his face. His rounded abdomen at the back had a crack in the chitin from where he forcefully backed into a tree. Dried blood was caked in his hair while red splotches were present over his face and chest. Tav looked over his body and scowled in concern.

“Lower your body down so I can reach, please.”

The drider hesitantly complied, their long legs curled into sharp points at the joints either side of him. Tav retrieved the cloth and dipped it into the water bucket, wringing it out before returning to him. “This may sting a little but it is only temporary.” Tav cupped Kar’niss’ chin with one hand while the other guided the moist cloth over his face to clean away the blood smears. He flinched in response actively leaning away out of instinct but Tav did not chide him for this. Instead they waited for him to calm so they could resume.

“We do not understand why you do this for us,” Kar’niss said. His eyes watched Tav’s face as if expecting deception in their reply.

Tav hummed in thought while cleaning off his face. “Because I want to. But if you require something with more depth, I do this because I’m betting no one else ever has. It’s really no bother to me if that is your worry. Everyone deserves positive attention, yourself included.”

He blinked, perplexed by the reply. He didn’t seem to understand the statement or at the very least had a hard time accepting it. “We find this behavior strange. But if it appeases you then do what you must.”

Tav chuckled and looked up at him. “It does appease me. Now hold still please.”

They finished cleaning off his face which revealed the half healed claw marks etched across his face. Tav retrieved a bottle of salve, uncorking the cap in order to apply the white paste over the scratch marks etched into his cheeks.

“How long did it take you to build all of this webbing?” Tav asked.

“A few hours,” Kar’niss murmured. He squirmed a little as the salve was applied but did his best to stay still. “It is fortunate there are many trees so close together. It makes weaving less complicated.”

Tav smiled. “It’s beautiful work, I must admit. Intimidating, but beautiful all the same.”

“Those caught in it would not agree,” Kar’niss said.

“I suppose not. I am glad I am not one of them.”

Once satisfied his facial wounds were treated, they moved around to inspect the crack in the chitin over the spider abdomen. They ran their fingers over the hardened surface, able to feel how rough and bumpy the texture was. In truth it was fascinating to them but they didn’t want to gawk.

“Leave it,” Kar’niss said. “It will close in its own time.”

They heard what he said but still found themselves gently petting over the curvature along the surface, feeling every imperfection along the way. They leaned over to peer curiously at his spinnerets which were barely visible beneath the stinger on his tail end.

“Amazing,” they whispered.

Kar’niss’ backside wiggled and his legs shuffled beneath him. “Stop staring.”

“Sorry, I wasn’t trying to be rude. I’m just a bit curious I suppose. I’ve never seen someone like you before.”

The drider grunted and crab walked to the side, his arms crossed over his chest. “We are an abomination. We are drider.” His tone was stiff and irritated, averting his eyes from Tav completely.

The adventurer chuckled and stepped in front of him, seeking to find his gaze and meet it. “You are a drider, but you are no abomination. If I’m lucky someday you might deign me with a tour of your branch burrow. It looks cozy.”

Kar’niss tipped his head to the side with a hint of confusion, his nostrils flaring in a sharp exhale. “Perhaps…”

“Mm I will need to clean out your hair but I will do so once the salve has set. For now I think you’re in better shape and that is a relief. Thank you for allowing me to help.” Tav paused as a thought dawned on them. “One more thing. If...you start to hear those voices again and they become too much, seek me out. Night or day it doesn’t matter. We might have a chance to cut them off at the pass before you seek to harm yourself. I’d rather try than just stand by and let it happen. Does that sound good?”

Kar’niss rubbed at one of his arms, his pedipalps pulled taut against his lower half. “Yes...we can agree to this.”

“Good, I’m grateful. Now get some rest. If you need anything don’t hesitate to ask.”

Tav picked up the bucket, the water within a murky color from the dried blood and dirt. At least Kar’niss looked far better than when Tav found them and his pained purring had ceased. They left the area to return Kar’niss’ solitude to him, leaving the drider alone to think. He scaled the tree and returned to his silken cocoon, crawling inside to get comfortable. He reached up and touched over the sticky salve on his face, noticing how it reduced the burn of the scratch marks and brought him some ease. He thought over everything Tav said and a lot of it stuck out. But when he thought about it deeper he realized they were right. No one had ever done this for him before. Not in the Underdark, not in Moonrise, no where. What did this mean?

It left him with a whole host of feelings he didn’t understand or know how to process. Did this mean he could trust Tav? Had he finally found a place where abuse and belittling wouldn’t strike from around every corner? Experience told him that it was all a ruse, a falsehood surely to be revealed in time. Yet for the first time he could recall a new voice was starting to form in his mind. Not one born of Lolth’s cruelty nor of the Absolute’s control. This was different, new, and it was saying something he didn’t expect.

Do something for Tav.

His eyes widened, startled. Repaying a kindness? It was a novel concept and one he didn’t consider before. Perhaps because kindness was a word foreign to him, much less being on the receiving end. It begged the question, what could he possibly do in return? He had nothing of value and most of his talents were based on combat. Most, but not all. He took in a sharp breath, a eureka moment hitting him, nodding to affirm his decision to himself. He would do it.

The day wore on and Tav had left with Astarion, Wyll and Shadowheart to scout ahead. They ran into a few battles along the way but managed to return to camp in the evening with little injuries to report. Gale went to work starting dinner while the others gathered around to compare the loot they’d obtained, the atmosphere generally upbeat which was a nice change of pace.

Tav wandered over to their tent to change out of their dirty clothes, looking forward to relaxing after an exhausting day. Yet when they slid inside they noticed something unusual resting on their pillow. Upon closer inspection it looked almost like a doll but woven in a strange way. They picked it up to get a better look, noticing the material used was sticky to the touch. Was this...webbing? The item had two outstretched arms and two legs, similar to a gingerbread man in shape. Sticks were used as a skeleton underneath the weave so it maintained its shape, the web tightly wound around and around until it formed a solid base. Leaves and grass were glued on to represent clothes with two tiny pebbles squished into the head to form eyes. It was then that Tav realized this was meant to represent themselves. Not a perfect likeness but damn close for the limited resources the maker had to work with. Tav’s lower lip quivered once the realization hit, their heart squeezing within their chest. They sat cross-legged on their bed roll and smiled, bringing the make-shift doll to their chest so they could hug it close. It was the greatest gift they could’ve ever received, especially knowing where it came from. They didn’t move from that spot, hoarding the gift as if it were the most grand treasure known to man.

“Thank you, my dear Kar’niss.”

[get-back-homeward]

Paul’s Trying To Get To You

The thread of this song weaving in and out of Paul’s most formative music experiences

Oct 1956: Elvis’s debut album is released in the UK as Rock ‘n’ Roll and the B-side includes Trying to Get to You

I just had to reach you, baby / In spite of all that I've been through / I kept traveling night and day / I kept running all the way / Baby, trying to get to you.

Well if I had to do it over / That's exactly what I'd do / I would travel night and day / And I'd still run all the way / Baby, trying to get to you

[full lyrics]

Jan-June 1957: Ian James gets the Elvis record and a guitar

“It was in this time frame that Paul formed a closer friendship with Ian James, an Institute boy (in his year) he’d known since 1954. Ian was also into rock and skiffle and he’d recently been bought an acoustic guitar by his grandparents, at whose house he lived in the Dingle. (Every guitar had a maker’s name: his was a Rex.) The two boys became good pals on the strength of it. While they tended not to see each other in the evenings, because they lived some distance apart, Paul often went to Ian’s house for an hour or two after school—they walked there together down the hill from the Institute—and Ian sometimes went to Forthlin Road at weekends, taking his guitar with him. Ian James held a triple attraction for Paul: he was an intelligent, decent and affable lad, he had some rock records, and he had a guitar—an unbeatable combination.

In the front room at home I had a table-top portable record player, three speed. I remember playing “Blueberry Hill” by Fats Domino over and over, just the first line and then I’d pick up the needle and put it back at the start. I also had Elvis Presley’s first album, which we played time after time after time, with “That’s All Right Mama,” “Trying to Get to You,” “Lawdy Miss Clawdy,” “I’m Gonna Sit Right Down and Cry (Over You),” “Mystery Train” … Elvis was the one to copy, he was the hero. He had everything: the charisma, the looks, the voice. Frank Sinatra had only one style but Elvis could do anything—gospel, blues, rock and roll, romantic ballads. There was nobody else like him. Paul and I talked about Elvis all the time.15

The Rex guitar was ever at hand. Ian showed and reinforced to Paul those three chord fundamentals that would get him started, C, F and G or G7, the basis for pretty much every song they loved.”

—Tune In (Ch. 5, Jan-June 1957)

July 1957: Paul is invited to join the Quarrymen and trades his trumpet for his first guitar

At some point in July 1957, Paul finally got his first guitar. It had been a long time coming and he was desperate. As he couldn’t afford to buy one he had the bright idea of swapping his trumpet for it, the one his dad had bought him two years earlier. Jim didn’t mind—it was clear where Paul’s interest was. “I traded in the trumpet for a £15 Zenith guitar from Frank Hessy’s. There was a feller there called Jim Gretty and he showed us (me and George) a great chord. I never knew its name—we called it ‘a jazz chord’…”

Mike McCartney has said of Paul and his first guitar, “He would get lost in another world. It was useless talking to him—I had better conversations with brick walls.” Paul played the guitar everywhere, even on the bus. At home he played it in the bath and sitting on the toilet. “The fine acoustic of the toilet area was always very appealing to me. And it was also very private, about the only private place in the house. I used to sit there for hours—there and the bathroom. Dad would shout, ‘Paul, get off that toilet!’ [And I’d reply] ‘I’m practicing!’ ”4

…Rod Davis has a recollection of Paul dropping in to see a group rehearsal at (of all places) Mimi’s house, and Eric Griffiths says the group all went to Paul’s house one afternoon for a rehearsal together—something Paul has never mentioned. (Like almost everything to do with the Quarry Men, solid information is lacking.)

…Ian James says he and Paul struck up an informal musical duo: “We used to take our guitars around to parties and play a few numbers. Have guitar will travel—wherever we went our guitars went too. We played songs from that first Elvis LP: ‘Trying to Get to You,’ ‘Lawdy Miss Clawdy,’ ‘Mystery Train’…

—Tune In (Ch. 7, July-Aug 1957)

Aug 1957: Paul’s away at summer camp and then on holiday but glued to his guitar

[O]n August 7, the Quarry Men played the Cavern again…This Cavern booking would have been Paul’s Quarry Men debut but for him being away with the Boy Scouts at summer camp—another ten days of wet feet, wind and Woodbines. The 19th City troop’s destination this year was the Peak District—Callow Farm, Hathersage, Derbyshire—and both McCartney brothers went. Paul (inevitably) carted his Zenith along with his sleeping bag and tin mug. Almost as soon as they’d pitched tents, Mike had an altercation with an oak tree, badly breaking his arm; he was taken to the hospital in Sheffield while Paul remained at the camp and entertained around the fire with Elvis’s “Trying to Get to You.”13

Mike was in the hospital four weeks, his plastered arm in a sling, and on the day of his release—the last full week of the school holidays—Jim arrived in Sheffield with Paul and revealed they were all heading straight off to Butlin’s. Bett and Mike Robbins had fixed them seven days at Filey, on Yorkshire’s east coast…

Ever the keen photographer, Mike operated the camera single-handedly to take a fascinating photo of Paul on Filey beach with Bett Robbins and her infant son Ted. Paul is perched on Ted’s pushchair and playing the much-traveled Zenith. The photo could be the closest taken to the date he met John Lennon, showing a 15-year-old who’s come through his chubby period and is looking good.

—Tune In (Ch. 7, July-Dec 1957)

Oct-Nov 1957: Paul plays his first gigs with the band as John’s equal

In images of the Quarry Men before Paul joined they’re all wearing different clothes. In the first photo of the group with Paul they have a uniform look, and a sharp one at that: white shirts with black bootlace ties and black trousers, and John and Paul (only) are also wearing jackets on top, white or cream—it’s Paul’s “white sports coat” and something similar John has managed to acquire. This was undoubtedly Paul’s doing, reaching back to his experience at Butlin’s in 1954 when he saw how a singing group in matching gear claimed everyone’s attention. He’d brought the thinking early to John, and John had bought it. And something else is compelling about this Quarry Men photo: although it’s John’s group, new boy Paul is not at the back with Colin or Len, or to the side like Eric, he’s up front with John. Lennon and McCartney are clearly the front line of the Quarry Men, strumming crummy Gallotone and upside-down Zenith, and they’re the only ones with vocal microphones. The group is the two of them and three others. When one sings lead the other provides harmony; often they sing the lead in unison—and their voices go together.

One can only surmise what they sang into those microphones. Nigel Walley remembers plenty of rock in the repertoire in this period and not so much skiffle, including several Elvis numbers—“All Shook Up,” “Blue Moon of Kentucky,” “Heartbreak Hotel,” “Hound Dog,” “Lawdy Miss Clawdy,” “That’s All Right Mama” and “Trying to Get to You”—as well as “Be-Bop-A-Lula,” “Blue Suede Shoes” (Carl or Elvis), “Come Go with Me” and “Twenty Flight Rock.”

—Tune In (Ch. 7, July-Dec 1957)

Jan-May 1958: Paul writes In Spite of All the Danger and John wants to record it

As George knew several more guitar chords than John or Paul, every time he showed them a new one they tried to write a song around it36—and it was in this period, possibly at Upton Green, that Paul wrote one he called “In Spite of All the Danger,” a chugging and melodic country-flavored number with a couple of extended lead guitar solos created by George. For this reason, the song was a unique deviation from the Lennon-McCartney credit: it went down as McCartney-Harrison.

The tune of “In Spite of All the Danger” was entirely Paul’s, but it leaned heavily on the melody of Elvis’s “Trying to Get to You,” a song that includes the lyric “[in] spite of all that I’ve been through.” Using an existing song as inspiration for the writing of another is standard practice, but the rock and roll era was already littered with outrageous examples of plagiarism seemingly free of legal action—possibly because the song being copied was not entirely original to that composer either.

…John decided the Quarry Men should make a record, and the others needed no persuading—just 3s 6d each. This time the answer to “Where we going, Johnny?” was 38 Kensington, where one Percy F. Phillips ran probably Liverpool’s only recording studio and record press.

Seventeen years later, without the advantage of hearing it in between times, John recalled what he could of the session: “The first thing we ever recorded was ‘That’ll Be the Day,’ the Buddy Holly song, and one of Paul’s called ‘In Spite of All the Danger.’ It cost us fifteen shillings and we made it in the front room of some guy’s house that he called a recording studio.”

…John again sings lead on “In Spite of All the Danger,” Paul provides more fine harmonies throughout, and George adds an “ah” backing. It’s said Colin and Duff hadn’t heard the song before, and so were feeling their way through it, but it’s not solely for this reason that it plods somewhat. Though the debt to “Trying to Get to You” is clear, it’s still an original number and an interesting, attractive one at that, written by a boy of 15—a fantastic achievement.

—Tune In (Ch. 8, Jan-May 1958)

[blaiddraws]

not sure ull take as much joy from this as i do but ive recently been replaying pla and its so funny picturing everything from the other characters perspectives like deadass im the villain

my most recent escapade included kicking mellis ass mostly normally for the first fight at the quarry and then just being a petty mean bitch to him by coming back to the next fight with him with a like level 70 shiny alpha skuntank just to flex on him (his name is barbie doll and he is pink and i love him btw)

I've actually started playing pla recently (as in. ACTUALLY started playing, technically i "started" right before sv came out but only got like an hour in) and kinda playing "as" fulcrum au akari, just for the heck of it, and that's been. a lot more fun than I've expected thrjhdkshdhfjdf

(also i uhhhhhh. this game has me in a chokehold. 8 stars before i even started the plot in the icelands.)

anyway. that girl is a menace upon hisui's ecosystem. she's been told to complete the pokedex? then she is gonna COMPLETE it. battling is fun too, but. yeah.

[dandelionjedi]

I've been meaning to spread some Andor love for a while. Huge thank you to the people at @andorappreciation for giving me a push to put my thoughts out into the world! I've loved seeing everyone's posts, and wanted to throw in my two cents. Warning: Long post incoming, continues after the cut

I think Andor is the best thing Star Wars has put out since the last 4 episodes of The Clone Wars show (which were amazing, and another thing I could go on about, but that’s not today’s theme). I’d say it’s the most consistently good thing Star Wars has put out, ever. Please keep in mind I am not much of a critic, but still. I’ve watched a lot of Star Wars stuff.

Please note the "consistently good". There's so much Star Wars stuff out there, it's hard to say what's the 'best'. And best is very subjective! I think Andor is noteworthy for having 12 episodes that all felt equally great. There were certainly some that stood out above the rest (One Way Out comes to mind), but none of them seemed worse than the others, or out of place.

Most Star Wars media has a "it was really good, but...". The original trilogy was all around pretty good, but I'm more of a prequel era person. That being said, I'll be the first to admit that the prequels had some room for improvement, especially in the dialogue department. The Clone Wars show was very good, but there were a lot of lackluster episodes in between the main plot. Rebels was good, but it was aimed at a younger audience, and doesn't quite stand up to some of the other shows. The Mandalorian was good, but definitely fell apart in later seasons (which I'm aware Andor could still do). I could go on. We'll need to see how they do with future seasons, but I have nothing but good things to say about season 1.

Andor was visually amazing, in a way that The Mandalorian and other recent live action shows haven’t quite gotten. I think some of it can be attributed to them shooting on more practical sets. One of the most breathtaking settings was shot in the Scottish Highlands. There were wide aerial drone shots that they never would have been able to get without being on location.

They also used color really, really well. Whenever the show was in Empire territory, everything was bright lights, hard lines, sharp corners. Black and white and gray, clean outlines without a speck of dust. Outside their control, everything became more natural. It was gritty and dirty, with lots of neutrals. On Ferrix, there were rusty earth tones. On Aldhani, beautiful green rolling hills. On Kenari, earthy greens and jungle vines. When Luthen goes underground on Coruscant, it immediately shifts from bright lights to soft shadows. Away from the Imperial color scheme, back towards the natural colors of the Rebels.

When you go back to Coruscant, in Mon Mothma’s house, you can still see the influence of the Empire. While the colors have shifted from black and white, everything else screams Empire. The same crisp lines and hard shapes. It’s pretty, but empty. Much like the life she lives. You can try to cover it up, but she’s still in the Empire’s home base.

Every location was visually recognizable. As soon as you see the screen you can tell where the characters are. And so much of it was new! No more sandy Tatooine, full of characters that all inexplicably know one another. Every location was new, or made sense to be added, but it still felt connected with the rest of Star Wars.

There were also so many amazing visual moments. The whole scene with the Eye of Aldahni was breathtaking. Tragic, poetic, and visually stunning. I loved watching Mon Mothma play her political game on Coruscant. There were a few shots of her completely alone in the frame that took my breath away. Cassian had a similar shot on Kenari, looking out over the quarry. Luthen in the tunnel. The prisoners on Narkina 5. The final march on Ferrix.

I also loved the costumes. Not even in a "look at the attention to detail" way, just an "I want that outfit. I WANT IT!!!"

All the characters were so well developed, even those that only got a little bit of screen time. Everyone had a personality, their own quirks and motives. Everyone contributed to the story in their own way, no matter how small. On both sides too, Empire and Rebellion. The one thing about characters I do have to say is I have my fingers crossed that Dedra and Syrill don't get together. Just, please no.

And the music. The bells. The native people of Aldahni. The funeral march. It was so, so, so good.

The dialogue was also spectacular, but if I were to talk about that it would pretty much be me quoting various lines and saying “Listen to that! Wasn’t it amazing? IT WAS SO AMAZING!!!!" So I’m just going to say it was ridiculously good and leave it at that.

The whole show is dark, gritty, and down to Earth. We know, going into it, how the story ends. We know pretty much everyone is doomed. But they still make us care. The ending was amazing, tying up loose ends, and feeling like a fulfilling ending, while still leaving plenty of story threads to pick up at a later date. The final scene, of the Death Star coming together, means we can't forget for a moment how the story ends, no matter how much we might wish otherwise.

I loved it. (You probably had no idea). I would highly recommend it, regardless of whether or not you’re a Star Wars fan, or have even ever watched a Star Wars movie. If you’re not convinced, just watch the teaser trailer. The teaser trailer specifically, it’s so good, I’ve probably watched it at least a dozen times. Those bells!

Some other random notes:

Brasso seems like a really nice guy. Just, kudos to him for being a really great friend. And him hitting the Imperial guy over the head with the brick was great.

LGBTQ+ in space!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!

I am obligated to point out the sheep. Real, live, sheep. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t those sheep the first normal Earth animals to make it into Star Wars? No fancy prosthetics, just normal sheep (that breed of sheep naturally has 2+ pairs of horns). They’re Hebridean sheep, by the way. In case you were wondering.

Also Bix is pretty and I want her jacket

Small note: I'd love to add some screenshots/gifs to this post, but I'm a little confused about tumblr etiquette for that type of thing. I know GIF making is it's own thing, that takes some effort, so do people not generally post gifs from shows that they didn't make? What about random screenshots from google? Probably overthinking things, but if someone could explain that to me I'd appreciate it.

One other small note: A lot of this is taken from a post I made on my Instagram account. I would be incredibly surprised if anyone sees both posts, but I thought I should mention that. I'm not linking my Instagram because I keep it separate from my fandom life, and I'd like it to stay that way. The Andor post was an exception.

[lailoken]

hi lucien, i hope you are well. i live near a nature reserve that used to have children playing in it, and ecological surveys conducted, and now has a group of volunteers working to improve the issues of erosion around the creek and planting native species and removing invasive species and also has a school nearby that comes in to look at native flora and fauna. despite this care provided to it, whenever i visit, i feel uncomfortable and almost as though there is a presence that is nearly hostile towards my being there. i always leave offerings when i visit, and it feels as though this is there only reason that harm has not befallen me while in the tutelary spirit’s jurisdiction. i cannot get a grasp on why this might be as, as i mentioned, it seems to be well cared for and cared about and there doesn’t seem to be much outside ecological damage done to it, although there are very few news reports on on the place that would help me know if it had been ecologically damaged by the quarry nearby, although i hear frogs every time it rains, indicating that the creek’s water quality is somewhat good. i pick up litter and try to spend as much time in its borders until it is fed up with me and chases me out through some means. it is on a somewhat lonely road by the way, so i’m not entirely sure if the hostile ‘vibes’ that i am picking up are due to the lonely nature of the place and my fear of encountering humans with less than friendly intentions, or if it is due to the tutelary spirit not liking me/humans more generally.

all this to say, do you have any advice on maintaining at least a neutral relationship with such a place? it is naturally entirely its prerogative if it just doesn’t like me or like humans, but i’m not quite sure what should be done from here. it is the only reserve of its kind near me, and that feels as though a great number of spirits reside within its borders and i would like to befriend land spirits as a part of my practice. once again, i would hate to disrespect it if it just doesn’t want contact from me, but if it is humans that makes it wary and uncomfortable with my presence (and possibly others too) would there be anything i could do? thank you for reading my (rather long) ask and i hope you, your husband, your family and ginger are well!!

This is a rather interesting situation, if one that I feel I'm somewhat hard-pressed to give great advice for. But I will try my best to give what little insight I can. I apologize that it's taken a little while to respond, but I've had a decent amount on my plate recently.

I think that maintaining propitiatoon is a good idea, and in fact, it may prove necessary if you continue to spend time in this locale. Based on what you've described, I would certainly be wary of breaking this pattern propitiation while still visiting this place. That being said, I think that divination definitely wouldn't hurt the situation and could prove useful in helping you discern the intentions of this Genius Locorum.

Thank you for your kind wishes. ♡

[kate-les-bridge-stewart]

I recently discovered @grandadtwelve 's wacky polycule au and it inspired me to make up a slightly weirder au cus that's what I do best

I'm gonna include twissfle and osgate cus all of them are objectively hot as fuck

Warning this will mention vaping briefly so if you dont like that just be warned

Also be warned this is mostly just gonna be me projecting my depression onto all of these characters (but mostly clara, osgood and kate)

So in this 12 clara and missy are all dating and osgood and kate are secretly dating

In this clara is chronically depressed and vapes to cope

Shes basically the depressed friend who always has dark circles under their eyes and is fucking hilarious

Shes also luciferian cus why not lol

Bill is here too

Bill is a poor college student who's Clara's gay bff

Who am I kidding nobody in this au is straight

I may as well just list them

Clara - bi and she/they gender questioning, possibly genderfluid

12 - he/they agender, pan and demisexual

Missy - she/her pansexual

Kate - she/her bi (leaning more towards women)

Osgood - any pronouns GNC lesbian

When I said nobody was straight I mean it

So in this au missy is less, well, abusive to clara since obviously they love each other

And I think shed empathize a lot with Clara's struggle with depression

I'll expand on Clara's depression a bit more but itll include mentions of sh so I'll put that in another post with a warning

Missy still teases obviously but shell occasionally "check in" on clara in subtle ways

12 is his usual self, completely clueless when it comes to affection and just a general goofball

I decided to add that hes into more heavy metal cus why not lol

River pops into their little polycule every now and then for a quick fuck

Clara, bill and missy may or may not get together to get more stoned than a fucking quarry every weekend

Bill has a little side gig where she may or may not grow and sell weed

Dont mess with 12 and his 2 weed smoking girlfriends

As for osgate, kate canonically has 2 sons, Gordon or Gordy (19) and Harry (they dont actually have a canon name so I'm giving them one) (15)

Given that osgood has been dating kate for about a year she found it much easier to adapt to parenthood with already grown kids, she doesnt know if shed be able to handle young kids lol

Kate and osgood are huge movie buffs and love watching and critiquing movies/tv shows together

Their favorite show is breaking bad cus of course it is lol

Osgood is autistic and one of their hyper fixations is on minecraft but specifically advanced redstone engineering

One of the biggest ways she bonds with the kids was thru gaming

Shes a pretty serious gamer too lol

Shes played skyrim, oblivion, fallout 4 and new Vegas, GTA 5, most of the doom games including the classics, smash bros (which she loves playing with the kids), overwatch, and a shitload more

Being a technician she naturally has a super advanced pc setup which is duelly a gaming setup

She built Harry and Gordy's pcs with them and it spawned some of their favorite memories together

Back to talking twissfle, Missy will occasionally let harry and Gordy take a ride in her tardis as a treat

Clara always makes sure to supervise for obvious reasons

Clara is like the cool aunt that always has a cigarette (or in this case a vape) in her mouth and will let Harry have a sip of her wine when the parents arent looking

That's all I've got for now lol

[pixielle]

I’ve recently been playing the quarry and I was wondering what your ranking of the counselors is? I’m a Kaitlyn stan personally :o and Dylan’s also in my top three

Not sure how far you're into it now but Kaitlyn and Dylan are absolutely what made the game worth playing for me!! (What felt like) 7'9" Dylan trying to hide behind 4'11" Kaitlyn during the scary parts was so unintentionally funny it made me so endeared to them. I also loved the earlier scenes between Dylan and Ryan, it’s just so sweet. I know I know, I shouldn't praise a game who did bare minimum queer representation but it was nice that it wasn't a big deal 🥺 Small wins.

Also don't know if Max counts bc he didn't end up doing any counseling (thank GOD) but his storyline was just so camp start to finish, I can't help but like him. Himbo rights for Max, always n forever.

And to be honest, I don't care much about the two straight pairs... Like they're the ones who make it very clear that these are /such/ college kids lmaoo. I'm only 25 but I've already started to have such little patience for that kind of drama in storylines. Though, points for the Big Dick Nick line, I bring it up in one of my group chats at least once a month because it's so fuckin funny.

But generally, I'm glad the counselors are more developed than the Dark Pictures anthology characters have been so far, like The Quarry is truly right up there with Until Dawn for me. In fact, I think I do prefer The Quarry's main characters over Until Dawn's, but that's just because I like the campy tone bc I'm gay and my brain is broken.

(Sorry for my delay in answering this! I've been internet-less bc of a freak blizzard the past few days and I get like no data on my phone out here in the boondocks 🙃 )

[blot-squisher]

What horror video games would you like to see in dbd?

Personally I’d love to see Until Dawn with the Wendigo as a killer and Sam and Mike as survivors, the Quarry with the werewolf and Laura and Ryan as survivors, or the Last of Us with Joel and Ellie as survivors

I also love thinking about how those characters might have been implemented into STG had they already been apart of the game

To be honest, I don't play a lot of horror games. I've only recently started getting into this particular genre of gaming, coming from RPG's and FPS's. I do want to play the games you've listed above, but I haven't had the chance yet. From the game play footage I've seen I agree, they'd make for really cool crossovers.

Now! From what I have played, I'd love to see a Dead Space crossover. I absolutely LOVE the franchise and have replayed the first game from start to end at least six times.

Having Issac as a survivor would be dope, and perhaps the most common 'slasher' necromorph as the killer. Maybe get some cosmetics for it to look like mutated survivors (kinda like Leatherface's skin masks) I have still never played a FNAF game, but I think having Mike and/or Jeremy as Survivors would be really cool, with the original four animatronics (think Legion) or even Springtrap as the Killer.

Of course, this is less video game and more movie (yes I know some games exist but I've never played them) I still want to see the Predator in DBD. We finally got our xeno, now I want the Yautja! There's so many options for both Predators and Survivors if they do go that route someday! Fingers crossed!

I still say Skull Merchant should have been a Yautja fight me I will die on this fucking hill

[classichorrorblog]

Idle curiosity: do you play horror video games? I found that when I do they get less scary bc I'm so focused on "winning" over story, lol

I do. At least horror themed. But not very often. I've played a few of the Dark Picture Anthology games. Which, I do consider them to be horror games. But also, I just started playing Dead Rising 4 and I've played Left 4 Dead and State Of Decay 2, which I feel are more like horror themed.

I also recently just finished The Quarry, so I have been really into watching all of the alternate choices and scenes on youtube. I really liked that one a lot. I've wanted to get into some of the other horror games I've seen people play like Amnesia, Outlast, and Resident Evil Village. I'm looking forward to the Dead Space remake too.

[asshlyyyy]

End of 2022 Writing Wrap-Up

Thank you for tagging me @venus-haze, I think this is such a cool idea. Especially because people are of the Elvis/Austin!Elvis fandom came into play around July. I removed favorite thing I read because my brain doesn't remember half of what I read.

Total Words Published: After doing some math, 233k words, but give or take some for the hundreds places, around 233-240k I would say. Which is like- Okay- I can see at the end of this year it will be much more crazier.

Additional Words Written: In headcanons there is 9.3k words. For WIPs, give or take 5-10k words. I don't exactly have WIPs... if that makes sense.

Grand Total of Words: Give or take 250k or more.

Fandoms: When I first started, The Quarry. Mainly Elvis, Austin Butler, and most recently Top Gun Maverick. Marvel is also another I happen to be in. I have an imagines book over on my wattpad. If you want to check it out my username is Ashlerber.

Highest Everything (raw hits, kudos, comments): This took awhile to find, mostly because when you look at your notes in full, I'm pretty sure it shows the highest for the month... So thank you Tumblr for sending me on a wild goose chase. Lucky, I know relatively which ones would be at the top.

Just The Nurse Pt. 1

Highest Kudos to Hits Ratio: This one is easier because it tends to be the same one as above, so if you guessed correctly, it would indeed be...

Just The Nurse Pt. 1

New Things I Tried: I've been writing for quite some time. Every time I join a new fandom and I write for them, I lead into that 'new thing I tried'. The man thing I think I would say... is that I wrote a fic where the reader and Elvis were both dead and they were ghosts.

Fic I Spent The Most Time On: The one I spent the most time on is definitely the one that is in a sense my longest? I am not counting series because those obviously take longer. With that being said it is...

Help, I Need Somebody

Favorite Thing I Wrote: I tend to like everything I write. Because if I cannot like it myself how is anyone else? I could be basic and say it is Just The Nurse, but I've written so many. Here are the top three that are the favorite things I wrote.

No. 1 Expiration Date

No. 2 Number Deux

No. 3 Habits

Writing Goals for 2023: I want to try out new things definitely. What I mean by that is I want to do some more serious things. I want to do some darker things. I really want to see what I am capable of.

New Works: As of right now, the ones that I have planned are as listed. There is no particular date that these will come out. I am hoping throughout January. I will not be including the 12 Days because... that is done... It just needs posted.

Nothing really new...

Trying to finish up some series, do some part twos that I planned.

Do some request.

Throw in some new stuff here and there.

Uh- I'm going to tag one person who will 100% not do it, but I will still tag just in case. @babyhoneypresley

[barnabytremayne]

Turning iconic album covers into paintings (part one)

I recently started a new art project that I'm really excited about - making digital paintings of famous album covers. I've been a huge fan of music for as long as I can remember, and album covers have always been a source of inspiration for me. The Beatles, Morrissey, and The Smiths are some of my favorite artists, so naturally, I started with their album covers.

Working on this project has been so much fun. Each cover presents its own unique challenge and it's been a great exercise in creativity. I love trying to capture the essence of each album in my paintings, whether it's the psychedelic vibe of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band or the melancholy mood of You Are The Quarry.

One of my favorite parts of this project has been experimenting with different digital painting techniques. I've been playing around with texture, lighting, and color to try and give each painting a distinct style. I've found that using a combination of digital brushes and photo overlays can really bring a painting to life.

The Beatles have been a huge inspiration for me throughout my life, so it was only natural that I started with their iconic album covers. I've done paintings of Abbey Road, Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, and Rubber Soul so far. Each cover has its own unique style, and it's been a great challenge to capture that in my paintings.

Next, I moved onto Morrissey's solo album, You Are The Quarry. I've been a big fan of Morrissey for years and his music has always been a big influence on my art. You Are The Quarry is one of my favorite albums of his, and I've been really happy with how my painting of the cover turned out.

Finally, I decided to tackle The Smiths' album covers. The Smiths have been one of my favorite bands for as long as I can remember. Their music is so unique and powerful, and I've always found their album covers to be incredibly striking. I've started with their self-titled debut album and I'm excited to see where this takes me.

Working on this project has been a great way to challenge myself creatively and explore different painting techniques. It's also been a fun way to pay homage to some of my favorite musicians and album covers. I'm looking forward to continuing this project and seeing where it takes me.

As an artist, I've always found that creating is a great way to express myself and work through any emotions or feelings that I may be experiencing. Art therapy has been a really helpful tool for me in dealing with my mental health struggles. I hope that my paintings can bring some joy and inspiration to others as well.

This project has been a really rewarding experience for me. It's allowed me to combine my love of music with my passion for art, and I'm excited to see where it takes me next. Whether I'm painting the iconic Abbey Road crossing or Joe Dallesandro on the cover of The Smiths, I know that each painting is a unique representation of the music that has influenced me so deeply.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

Dear Elanor

I have a question about hair. I know you are the foremost expert on not being an expert about hair and so I'm choosing to speak to you instead of people who have studied this subject far more in depth than you and most certainly me. You see I have Celtic ancestors on one side and the Germanic ones on the other and for a very brief period in secondry school I had lovely, wavy auburn in the right light hair. And then everything went odd??? I believe there to have been a war somewhere in my genes and barring all evidence to the contrary have settled on this as the only possible reason. My hair has gone straight. I've tried all the CGM things and stolen my wife's bristle brush and my hair resolutely refuses to be anything but thick and occasionally poofy (when the brush is involved I end up looking quite like a tribble held up to a balloon) and even more confusingly settled itself on a sandy blonde that had I not already worked on my toxic masculinity issues would lead me to a life of a very successful Dean Winchester cosplayer. But there were three delightful years when I had Anakin hair a la revenge of the sith. Minus the grease. And I can't for the life of me figured out what happened or how to get the fun wibbles back. Even when I tried growing it out again recently it was just like 'ah, no, you see, we shall be the only straight thing about you and you shall suffer under the weight of it and force yourself to do an even more confusing gender thing and buy hair clips because we as the collective on your scalp have come to a common agreement without you,' and I'm just wondering, if you maybe know something in the deep magic not at all rooted in any kind of science because if I go to Actual Hair People they will tell me science things and I am not interested in their science that comes seriously and with no hint of long suffering or tangents and also products that I'm sure cost a great deal of money. Do you know, Elanor? Do you know what witch or ghost or ancestor I have somehow upset/wronged/accidentally pleased somehow? Things I have attempted: - going outside, turning around three times and spitting - asking the cats to intercede on my behalf - not washing my hair at all for a month and seeing if that shocks it into behaving (look, isolation got weird and my hair only got straighter,) - writing a letter to my dear departed irish gaelic professor in hopes that he might know something only to feel terrible about writing the letter in english because i never actually learned how to be literate in class - observing a oujia board from a distance and nodding solemnly - staring at the bottom of a quarry like the vast abyss of stone might somehow do A Thing. It did not. It did, however, unlock many thoughts. - the bristle brush - a return to asking the cats who were less amused this time than they were the first and gave me a great deal of their hair as though I should somehow be pleased and honoured with this gift. it got up my nose and I was neither so I'm beginning to suspect their involvement My sympathies to you upon your receipt of this message.

Hmm. Okay.

You need to buy some good cheese, probably three wheels, and maybe some good white bread to be on the safe side (bonus points if home-baked, but don't go trying to make it super soft or super hard). Then you need to find a faerie-infested Welsh lake. I'd recommend Llyn y Fan Fach, probably, because it has a pretty good hit-rate with water fey, so the odds are pretty good. Go at dusk, when the light plays tricks on you. Bring no iron or salt. If you see a faerie ring, DO NOT STEP IN WITH BOTH FEET.

Drop a cheese into the water - and the bread if you brought that - and ask for your curls back. For bonus points you should probably do it in Welsh? Maybe demonstrate at the water by curling a lock around your fingers for good measure. Tell them the cheese is a gift.

Return on the second night and do it again. Drop a cheese in, ask for the curls, tell them it's a gift. NO IRON.

On the third night, do it again. If it's worked, this is the night they'll reply. Most likely they'll give you a comb, or an oaken rod about which to wind your curls, or a faerie ointment, or some other thing. Listen carefully to the instructions, though, and don't deviate from them. Also Welsh faeries almost always add that you shouldn't reveal where you got their gifts from, and if you tell ANYONE they will take them back and fuck you up, so that's pretty likely. Whether it works or not, tell everyone it didn't.

If it doesn't happen on the third night, then it's Request Denied, I'm afraid. The origin of your curse is likely not Welsh (that or you bollocksed up one or more steps; it's easily done.) I wish you luck, friend.

[princesssmars]

how fast the night changes

chapter i part i

a sam x reader x mike

youve always had a compliacted relationship with your best friends. that all changes the night you go back to josh's house in the mountains.

contains: fluff and angst i mean its until dawn. mentions of death, mention of that little perv chris switched seats with.

wc: 3.800+

a/n: back in my until dawn phase bc of the quarry and we are lacking fics (especially poly ones) so i came to provide. decided to do these two bc they are my favorites and. theyre hot. enjoy. (im also following along with an all good choices everyone lives lets play because i love a good horror ending sorry.)

-

-

-

the bus ride up to the mountain was much more sinister in the dark of night. maybe it was because the thick trees of the expansive woods hid anything that lurked inside them. maybe it was because of what happened the last time you were here. either way, everything felt different this time.

you still remember how you met all of your friends. it was sixth grade, and you were the new kid, so you were prepared for it to be brutal. but here come these two dorks who say their names are josh and chris that plop down next to you during lunch to ask you some dumb question about the newest video game-was it super mario?-

you look down at your phone, the custom playlist you got for this trip nearly halfway done as it hums through your headphones. bopping your head along, you click out of the music app and head to your messages, seeing the last texts you shared with your friends. emily's were blunt but endearing, ashley and chris's enthusiastic, jess's laid back. but you feel a smile slowly appear looking over your last messages with sam and mike.

sam: please tell me you remembered to bring me some extra veggie chips! i have a feeling josh forgot to stock up on my vegan snacks :,)

y/n: only if you remembered to bring my favorite blanket from your dorm, you know the heating is most likely broken and im definitely not freezing to death up here!

sam: so dramatic! already ahead of you <3 see you at the lift!

you go to look over mike’s, trying to ignore the heat you feel in your face at her knowing what you wanted without you even asking.

mike: your new favorite playlist is ready, brought to you by your favorite person on earth

y/n: what do you mean? sam didn't make me a playlist

mike: haha very funny

mike: y’know id appreciate some appreciation every now and then, i put all of your faves on here! even some hidden gems I've been listening to recently

y/n: thank you my best friend in the whole wide world for the amazing playlist i know you don't share your amazing music taste with everybody

y/n: happy?

mike: very. thanks, babe. see ya soon.

well, that didn't help.

you step off the bus with your carry-on, saying your thanks to the tired-looking bus driver before they drive off after giving you a weary smile and an ominous “be safe out there.”. you step further towards the entrance and seeing the faded yet familiar Blackwood Pines sign fills you with bittersweet nostalgia. remembering your first time getting plastered with josh and chris, dancing to the newest shitty songs with jess, telling emily about your crushes crush, gossiping with beth, watching the newest show that hannah couldn't stop talking about…

you shake your head. nows not the time to dwell on the past, you're here to rekindle old friendships and have a great time.

as you continue walking to the lift, you get more and more unsettled by the dark woods surrounding you. yes, the woods were inherently creepy, but it felt like someone, or something was watching you. you always joked around about something being in the woods, but those were just jokes. your mind is jumping around so quickly that you don't even register the snap of twigs and someone grabbing you-

“fucking hell!” leaves your throat as you bend over and try to catch your breath. meanwhile, samantha giddings is laughing her ass off behind you.

“i just - and then you- oh my god!” she wheezes, bent over and holding her knees with her hands. she laughs even harder when she looks up to see you staring at her with a straight face.

“you're not funny. at all. get up.” you reel your foot back as if you're about to kick snow and dirt at her, and thankfully that makes her calm down a bit.

“ok, ok. alright. im sorry, i couldn't help it!”

after her laughter has officially died down, you both stand and stare at each other for a minute, before laughing and running into a hug.

“its been so long sammy” you whisper into the blonde girl's hair, taking in the scent of her vanilla and papaya shampoo.

“way too long. promise me after this you’ll come to visit before the end of the school year? you can be my good luck charm for my exams” she pulls away to look at your face, her slender arms still wrapped around your waist.

“only if you promise to stay with me for a while this summer. there are so many things i wanna do with you.”

“many things, huh? got any more examples?” the side of her mouth quirked up, smirking at the way you stumble over your words.

“i just meant that… it's been hard. without you. and the others of course. it feels like we barely ever see each other since…”

your words trail off. it's still hard to say aloud what happened on the mountain last year. you look at sams face and see the sadness on her face, too.

while you were always close with beth, she was best friends with the other washington twin.

she always felt a little guilty that she didn't run off after them that night.

so did you.

you try to change the conversation, hoping to lift both of your moods.

“what i mean is, our college's aren't that far but it feels like i see you once in a blue moon! it'd be nice to catch back up and get closer.”

“i know what you mean. there's so much we have to talk about.” she agrees. “so, we can start on this longgg walk up the lift. you ready?”

she holds her arm out and you link yours through hers. god, did you miss her.

the walk to the lift was surprisingly nice. sure you had to walk through some creepy ass woods, but doing it with your best friend made it somehow enjoyable and even funny. especially when she fell on her ass after trying to climb the stone wall next to the busted gate.

“stop laughing and help me up!”

“oh, how the table have turned.”

while walking, you both spot a squirrel running past you. you decide to ignore it, but sam being the animal lover she is, tries to feed it.

“here you go little guy, have a nice life, alright?” she sighs, waving to the squirrel as it goes back into the woods. she turns to keep walking but finds you staring at her. “what is it?”

“nothing, nothing. we should hurry up, feels like I'm getting frostbite already.” you rush, ignoring as sam laughs at your dramatics.

eventually, after more idle catching up, light teasing (and both of you seeing something weird after picking up a totem?), you finally arrive at the cable car station…and see no sign of chris.

you let out a long and loud sigh, “god its so like him to go do whatever stupid crap right now. if he went up without us i'm gonna kill him.”

sam giggles at your upset grumbling, before moving her arms up and down the arms of your coat from beside you. “ok, ok. lets just look, around ok? im sure that doofus is around here somewhere.”

you both search around the station for mutual goofy blonde friend, until finally you find his backpack after hearing his phone ring. you don't catch who the caller was before it ends, and you notice sam come up behind you. “hey, I cant find that doofus, i don't know where he could be hiding-”

her voice is cut off by the phone pinging again, and you both see the user id-ashley, your mutual friend and chris’ crush of for-fucking-ever. on the handful of times youve spoken to ashley recently, you were pretty sure she liked him too.

you and sam lock eyes, sharing a mental conversation. you know she wants to leave it alone, and she knows you want more than anything to look at what theyve been talking about because you know your friend has absolutley no game.

you dont get the chance when you hear a “sam! (y/n)!” behind you, quickly turning around to see your tall glasses-wearing friend.

“thank god! i felt like i was gonna freeze to death out here!” you exclaim, making the blondes laugh as you hug chris, his big arms encompassing your entire body.

you smile. you missed this big dork.

you feel one of his hands leave your back, and then you feel the press of sam against your side. your face grows warm as both of you wrap your arms around each other to form a group hug. as you back away, sam looks at you affectionately, and chris looks between the both of you. you squint your eyes in a ‘shut it or ill kick you in the balls’ way and he stops.

“oh! so, i found something amazing.” christ speaks, looking at the both of you and moving over to his bag which still rests on the seat.

you and sam share a look. “what?” she asks.

“im not gonna tell you, you gotta see for yourself,” he replies, ever the little shit, he hikes his bad up onto his shoulder and starts moving away from the station. “come on, its this way.”

“where?” you question his next. again, it was freezing out here, and as much as you liked doing stuff with your friends youd much rather do it inside the lodge.

“right around here, gonna blow your mind.”

you follow chris around the back of the station until he moves in front of the surprise and holds out his hands. “ta-da! pretty rad right?”

“yeah…” sam stares at it, making you laugh beside her. before you stands a mini wooden shooting range, just built to shoot a few targets before the trees. on the wood panel lies two hunting rifles, placed for the targets placed either on the trees or on the stumps ahead of it.

“come on! look at these beauties!” chris smiles, trying to get you and sam at least amused by what he was showing you.

sam is still unconvinced. “”beauties” is not the word that comes to mind. why is this even here?”

“what do you mean?”

“what the hell is a shooting range doing at the base of a ski lodge?”

“dude, have you ever met josh’s dad?” chris asks her, fiddling with the rifle.

“yeah, he definitely thinks hes more badass than he really is,” you pick up one of the guns, admiring the details of it, “or maybe hes preparing for something in these woooods…”

“oh shush with the ghost stories, (y/n).” chris shushes at you, ignoring you scrunching up your face at him. you would admit that you did look into folklore and the supernatural, but who could blame you? it was interesting. “but shes right, dude thinks hes like, grizzly adams or something. either of you wanna try?”.

“you go head, grizzly.” sam declines, smiling at chris. yours eyes widen when they both turn to look at you.

“oh, you dont want me to go first. id embarrass you. but please be our guest.” chris scoffs and turns away from you, saying something under his breath. sam nudges your shoulder and laughs, “be nice.”

chris faces the targets and holds the rifle up to his shoulder, preparing to shoot. “alright, here goes.”

you both watch on as he hits both of the stuffed bags and both of the soda cans.

“wow, nice shootin tex.” sam compliments him.

“yeah, you been practicin this in your spare time?” you instantly regret it when he says “alright, im bad! im a badass!” and starts dancing in place. moron.

you nearly bust out laughing at the unamused look on sams face. “im gonna go ahead and guess it was a wild case of beginners luck.”

“nah, i dont think so girl.” he shrugs her off, yet again taking aim. he strikes a beer bottle, shattering it into pieces.

“anybody and their brothers could shoot a bottle that big, that close.” sam teases chris again. you notice a cute little squirrel make its way to snack on some nuts that lay on one of the barrels. chris shoots one of the stuffed bags again.

“ok ill admit. youre a nice shot.” chris’ eyebrows shoot up at your compliment, laughing when you roll your eyes.

“your asses just got sacked.”

you and sam both groan.

he goes to take aim, but in the corner of your eye you see the lift coming down. “hey, sharp-shooter, our ride is coming.”

“wh- im just getting the hang of it!” chris complains.

“come on chris, the cable car!” sam reaffirms, moving to loop her arms through yours and head to your ride. the both of you go ahead and laugh to each other when you hear chris groan and follow suit.

while walking, chris comes up behind you and starts to speak, “man it is… its definitely weird coming back up here after a whole year.”

“yeah. i swear, the moment i got here it just all came flooding back.” sam says. shed gone from linking your arms to holding your hand and leading you. your cheeks felt warm.

“i know what you guys means. a year went by so fast…” you whisper under your breath. you see chris looking at something on the wall of the station and tug sam back to look. it's a wanted poster for someone name milgram victor, last seen here on the mountain in the 90s. you vaguely remember josh talking about it.

“nice. think we’ll get a visit from americas most wanted?” chris kids after observing the sign.

“looks like someone thought so,” you reply. “i dont know why, its been almost 20 years, what would he even be doing? and dont answer that weirdo.” you give a stern look to chris when you see him excitedly open his mouth to go into imaginary detail about what milgram could be doing.

sam shrugs it off. “looks like someone thought so.”

“nah y/n’s right,” chris agrees with you, “this place is abandoned most of the year. nodbody comes up here.” after that, the three of you move on.

“this all must be really hard on josh…” sam expresses suddenly, bringing back up the topic of what happened last year.

chris speaks up from behind you, “i dont know how he keeps it all together. id…i mean id be a wreck.”

“who says he isnt?” your question makes sam scoff and chris sigh. “oh come on, we three are the closest to him and i know you both could tell something was up in that video. not to mention what happened with his therapist so who even knows whats going on inside that big head of his-”

“hey hey hey, slow down!” you hear then feel chris and sam next to you, both putting a hand on your shoulders . “look, dont worry. we’re all gonna be there to help josh if he needs it, yeah? for now lets focus on having a good time.”

chris could be a doofus at times, but he did know how to make you feel better. you let out a long sigh, stabilizing yourself before looking at your two friends and ready to continue.

its only a few seconds later when sam gets to the door and stops. “hey thats weird. door’s locked.”

“yeaaah…josh wanted us to keep it locked. keep people out.” chris tells her.

“he really said that? what kind of people?” she questions him. josh was never one to be scared of what could be lurking on the mountain.

“i dont know. he said they found people sleeping in the station one time.”

“creepy.” “thats so sad.” you and sam share a look as you speak at the same time before moving on.

“after you,” chris moves his arm in a sweeping motion of chivalry torwards to the now open station door, laughing as sam teases him with “a real gentleman.”

the three of you move inside, you and chris heading to check out the controls as sam moves to look out over the edge of the rail.

its small inside the control center, just the room with the controls, a desk, and some lockers. you and chris lean in to look at one of the posters, advertising the blackwood pines hotel and-

“sanatorium?” you both say under your breath, looking at the other. how did you never hear about this?

“ugh! i though the car was closer.” you heard sam complain from outside.

“guess we gotta wait…” chris voces, still obsering the sanatorium poster. “what a crazy place to set up house.”

“emphasis on the crazy.” you joke, laughing when chris swats at you with his hands. “but seriously, they couldnt have picked any other mountain? this is odd, no matter how rich you are.”

“guess mr.washington couldnt pass up on the view.” chris speaks.

“theyre not so rich,” sam rebuttals. “they only bought a mountain!”

you slightly giggle at her joke.

from the corner of you eye you see a flickering creen on the desk, dragging chris over by his arm to look at it.

“huh? since when did they have all this security up here?” your companion questions, observing the amount of places covered by what must be new secuirty cameras.

you sigh, feeling slightly unerved,“i guss they really are worried about something up here.”

looking out the small window, you see the cable car has almost arrived, making you move outside in preparation. you notice sam has zoned out, so you tickle her neck slightly, making her flinch away and let out a light squeal. “ah! oh you know i hate it when you do that!”

you smile at the blonde, leaning into her side “yeah right, sammy.”

she lets out a playful groan, wrapping her arm around your shoulders so you can both move into the cable car. you across from her as chris sits next to her.

“just like going to prom.” chris says before sitting down.

“chris, i was with you on prom night. you nearly threw up multiple times on the way there because you were scared about asking someone to dance-”

“alright alright! no need to bring that back up, y/n.” he shushes you, still embarrased about what happened 2 years ago. “anyway, adventure begins!”

“i hope this was the right thing to do.” sam sounds from across you.

“what?” chris asks her.

“you know getting everyone together on the anniversary. i mean, josh seemed really pumped about us all doing something didnt he?”

“yeah, no, he definitely did!” chris waves his arm around to express his point. “i havent seen him so excited about something in…forever.”

“good, good…” sams voice trails off.

“yeah, im glad he seems to be doing better. and its nice for everyone to be back together.” you smile, ready to see all of your friends again. even if what they did still hangs in the back of your mind.

“yeah yeah, but…its hard to tell with him and i…ive kinda been worried.” sams voice softens, her worry for her dear friend peaking through.

“no, no, it was…it was a good idea.” chris reassures her.

she looks over at you before staring at the ceiling. “i hope everybdy else feels the same way.

“we’re all here, arent we?” he questions.

“thanks bro. good talk.” sam goofs, lightly punching his arm.

you laugh at them. “he has such a way with words, doesnt he?”

he laughs along with the two of you, “you know what? screw the both of you. but really, lets just…lets just stop talking about what happened and enjoy the trip.”

“you know what? youre right.” sam agrees.

“seriously,” you sigh, leaning back and looking at the scenery. “i cant wait to just get to the lodge and relax with some hot cocoa.”

“um, what do you mean relax?” chris asks you, making you turn your head to raise a questionable eyebrow, “we’re supposed to party like porn stars, remember?”

“ugh, forgot about that part. we can do that tomorrow.” you groan, making your friends laugh at your antics.

theres silence for a little while longer before chris turns to the two of you and asks, “you two know how josh and i met?” you and sam shake your heads ‘no’.

“ok. third grade. josh sat in the back of the room, i sat in the front. we didnt even know each other existed. but the kid sitting next to josh started strap-snapping the training bra on the girl in front of him so the teacher made him move to the front - where i was sitting!”

‘ugh, gross.’ you think, before listening to the rest of the story.

“okay, so?” sam questions.

“so i got moved to the back!”

“and?” you prod.

“and next to josh! thats how we met! and became friends. to this day.”

“a match made in heaven.” you tease.

“if it werent for the fact that jeanie simmons hit puberty like three years early and on that day decided to wear a low-cut shirt that showed off her training bra…i mean who knows? you two could be riding in this cable car alone. right now. or talking to some other person entirely. boom. butterfly effect.”

“well i sure am glad we got you and not the bra snapper, chris.” his face twists in a mix of annoyance and happiness.

“it is freaky to think about, though. like, who knows how many little things we thought about doing but didn't would change who we are?” sam joins in, rubbing her hands together as the cold starts getting to her.

“well, i like to think fate could play a part in it as well.” you notice how both of your companions are looking straight at you, urging you to continue. “what? i mean, who we are effects what we’re most likely to do, which means some things are just meant to happen. at least thats how i see it. whatever, just stop looking at me.”

“no, no! i understand,” sam leans forward, taking your hands in hers. “i get it, like some things are just meant to be. its kinda nice, knowing id end up knowing you no matter what.”

your heart leaps to your throat when she sustains eye contact with you, the grip of her hands moving to hold your wrists.

“like i was doomed to fail that english test in sophomore year. im still pissed off about that.”chris says from your left, making you nearly jump out of your skin from being in the moment you just had with sam.

“yeah, just like your english test, chris. sure.” sam replies flatly, slightly slumping back into her place, her face perking up when you shake your head in amusement.

this was gonna be a good night.

-

-

-

here we go! chapter one of ten! this took me so long to get out and i wanted it out on halloween day but alas :') this already felt really long so hope to get part two ou soon! thanks for reading <3

[rrickgrrimes8]

hi! i was thinking if you could write an imagine of reader being rick and lori's daughter and sister to carl, rj and judith. i don't have a specific idea in mind, but just her before and after the time jump, struggling with being there when lori and carl died, and looking for rick with daryl, her relationship with her siblings and michonne, maybe maggie and hershel too (i was thinking since carl was 10 when it all started, she was 7 so now she's 17) thank you so much, and btw i loved your imagines i've read so far 💞

Being a Grimes ~ Rick Grimes x Grimes!reader

thank you so much for requesting i really enjoyed making this one. i also have a series kinda like this about Jacey Grimes which i’m currently making a book two for.

warnings: alluding to sexual assault or rape, suicide, death, gore (lemme know if i’ve missed anything off here)

sorry if there is any mistakes please tell if there is and give me feedback i’d love to here back from yall

masterlist

request guidelines

request are open

It was strange for y/n. This world would be strange for anyone really. But she was different. At only a mere 7 years old when the world went to shit she struggled as did many others. With the recent loss of her father - one she didn't entirely understand - still protruding through her heart, it was hard - so hard. 

When it happened she was at daycare. The teaching assistant tried and successfully ate the teacher in front of her. She was next and was so close to being eaten until Shane rushed in. He kicked Ms Twune and grabbed y/n. Her mom sobbed at the sight of her, covered in blood and the tears smothering her daughters face. Carl was shocked too. He wanted nothing more than to protect his little sister. His dad always used to tell him that that was his duty - his job. And he hated how he had failed in this moment. 

They made it to the quarry soon after. Y/n thought the group was nice - well mostly. The Dixon brothers scared her was what she told her brother or any of the children she had befriended. But she was lying. Yes, she was scared but only of Merle. He was creepy and mean to anyone he saw. Daryl was somewhat the same but he always found himself being nicer to the young child. And often kept her company when Lori and Shane went for a ‘walk’ in the woods. Glenn was another she found herself drawn to. He unlike Daryl happily invited her company. Glenn was sweet and funny. He never failed at making her laugh till she felt like she was going to pee. They were good friends which came to a fault when he had to go on runs. She’d scream and cry and refuse to let go of him because she was afraid that what happened to her father would happen to him. 

That’s what happened earlier that morning. Glenn and a few others were going into Atlanta, despite her dismay. Glenn assured her he’d be fine, which she didn't believe and continued her tantrum. 

“Can yer’ shut that damn baby up?” Merle spat covering his ears. 

Shane shot him a threatening glare while Glenn stayed preoccupied with the distraught girl. “Hey, it's okay. I’m coming back,” He insisted holding her tightly at his hip, “I promise you, sweet girl.” 

“No, b-b-but dada promise too a-a-and h-he,” She stopped herself, sobs erupting from her small body. 

“I know sweet girl, I know. But I’ll be back I know I will.” Glenn placed her on the back of the RV, “I tell you what I’ll bring you back some of your favourite sweeties, huh? Would you like that?” 

Giddily she nodded at his proposition, “Yes! Yes!” 

“Alright, then I’ll bring back some for you, okay?” She nodded smiling cheerfully, “I love you, kid.” 

“I luv you too, dumbass,” y/n giggled. 

Glenn looked around cautiously hoping no one heard that “Hey sweet girl you can't say that.” 

“W-what? Why?” the child began to cry again, “Y-y-you say it.” 

“I know b-but its adult words okay? Not y/n words. When you're older, alright?” She nodded her head again kissing his cheeks softly and hugging him. “Thank you, sweet girl. I’ll see you soon,” He kissed the top of her head and started towards the car smiling as she shouted, “With sweeties!”

The group returned hours later bearing a new man instead of Merle. Y/n waited patiently for Glenn and the aforementioned sweets. "Gen!" She screamed happily still unable to say his name fully. The man sprinted over to her, pulling her into a much-needed cuddle after the day he had. 

"It's Glenn, sweetheart," He chuckled while correcting. 

"Oh sorry Gen," She wrapped her dainty arms around his neck. 

"That's okay, sweet girl. I missed you." 

"I missed you too," She whispered before letting out a longwinded 'ew', "You stinky, Gen." 

The man smelt his shirt and nodded as the potent smell of walkers reached his nose. "I know yucky right?" 

"Yucky!" Y/n buried her face in Glenn's shirt ignoring the stench and just enjoying his company. She always became clingy like this after coming home from a run. He loved it. On runs, if he ever encountered a life-threatening situation - like the one today - he always finds himself realising how much she means to him. Glenn saw her as a little sister - one almost replacing the ones that were cruely ripped from him when this began. 

"How was it?" She inquired. 

"Not fun, sweet girl. But I got your sweeties and a nice man helped us out. Saved us," She beamed. 

"I like the good man. I'll give him two kisses when I see him. Maybe even one of my sweeties," Glenn chuckled. 

"Why two kisses, y/n?" 

"One for saving you. Two for bringing you hom," Glenn grinned contently and kissed her forehead. 

"Its home bubs with an e on the end." 

"Oh," She mumbled burying herself again. 

"Oh my God," Someone muttered as they exited the van. 

"Dad! Dad!" Carl screamed causing Glenn to snap his head in their direction. Carl came running towards the man, Rick, who had saved them in Atlanta. Y/n hadn't moved yet as she feared it was only a dream. That her dada wasn't really here. 

"Sweet girl," He pulled her out of his neck, "Look it's your dad." The child gazed over to where her brother had run to. Sure enough, it was her dad. He held Carl as he cried, looking to Y/n wanting to hold her too. 

"Dada!" She screamed jumping out of Glenn's arms dangerously. The girl scraped her knee on the way down but continued throwing herself into the hug. 

"Oh, Carl! Y/n!" She kissed all over his face childishly, "I luv you, dada." 

"I love you too, baby girl."

~

The years hadn't been kind to Y/n. She lost so much. Too much in fact that it had driven her to the depts of insanity and made her do things to herself, to others that she more than resented. The first loss was her mothers. She wasn't there like Carl was but the grief burned through her still. Y/n was too young to understand it really. Just how she was when Rick supposedly died. Y/n couldn't understand where her mom had gone she just knew she had a little sister now. One she swore to protect. 

She thought she had failed that when the prison fell. The young child was on her own. Injured and lost. She wandered through the woods for days until she stumbled across a group. The group were mean and despite her resistance wouldn't let her go. They hurt her in ways she didn't and wouldn't speak of it even now. But that all changed when Daryl showed up. He protected her - stopped them from hurting her. And eventually led her back to her family. Where for the first time she began to fear her father. 

Terminus was next. The people there snatched her from her family. She was forced to watch from afar as they were guided into the crate. Rick fought against them, Carl too but it was to no use. They had sectioned her off in a playroom. Every once in a while an older woman came in to fed and played with her. She hated it. Being in this world for more than a year now she knew that people like them didn't just want to play even if she did. She learnt that from the Claimers. 

Carol found her. Although having never have been all that close to the older woman - the only relation being the closeness between y/n and Sophia - seeing her after so long made her cry out of joy. Carol was happy too as she rushed out of that place to take her to safety. The pair ended up in the woods. Carol had stopped a moment ago to clean the dirt from her face, "lemme help." 

The girl sat up from where she was put down and cupped some water splashing it on Carol's face. Carol flinched as the water hit her, "Uh thank you." 

"Welcome," She looked away getting distracted by the nearing sound of footsteps. 

"Get behind me, y/n," Carol ordered to which she shook her head. 

"No it dada," She ran away from the woman and towards the group. 

"Y/n come back here!" Y/n continued ignoring Carols pleas and crashed herself into the back of Rick's legs. 

The father shot around and began to cry as he saw the child he thought he lost at his feet. "Oh, baby!" He collected the girl in his arms. Carl rushed to them too happy to see her alive after Gareth claimed he killed her. "Oh y/n, never leave me again, okay?" He looked directly into her matching blue eyes, "Promise me." 

"I promise, dada." 

Later Carol led them to Judith. Y/n was over the moon and refused to let her out of her sight, which was exactly what Rick was doing too. They found the church a while after. There they had some semblance of peace. She was glad to have Glenn back - Maggie too. Along with the new people although Eugene was a bit weird. 

At the church was also when the questions started. Daryl had told Rick about the group they were with and regretfully had to inform the father how she was there before him. Rick asked y/n - begged her - to tell her what happened. But she refused. She couldn't say what happened. What they did, which just made Rick fear more. Eventually, she spoke a little about it. She was vague and could barely string two words together without crying. He hated it. He hated how this was a reality for his daughter. He saw the bruises they left. And he couldn't understand how someone could touch his child. Or how he could be so powerless to stop it. 

Bob died. She didn't really know the man but it still upset her. Beth too. Although she was a lot closer to her. Beth was one of her only friends and was someone who would look after her when her father couldn't. They bonded and now she was gone. 

After Beth's demise, they spent lots of time on the road. They suffered, almost died countless times but they prevailed. They got stronger - she got stronger. And they eventually found Alexandria. There everything was good again like how it was at the prison or even before this hell. She liked it there and didn't understand why the others were so sceptical. 

Though that didn't last for long. Y/n began to hate the place when Carl got shot. Alexandria almost stole her brother from her. So she despised it. She refused to leave her brother's side as he adjusted to his injury. Yes, he found it annoying how she wouldn't leave him be and he often snapped at her. But she was there when he needed her. Despite the age difference and the many years of memories they had lost to this fight, she understood his pain. When he saw himself as ugly, a monster even, she made him think otherwise. She kept him afloat, which he was eternally thankful for. 

Glenn was next. 

She didn't believe it even after she was forced to see it with her own two eyes. She was next to Glenn in the lineup. She had to watch up close. Y/n had to be mocked by that man. She had to stay the whole night with her best friends brains on her face. After that night she blamed herself. She told herself that if Negan was just one person off she would be dead and he would live. He would get to see his child born and grow old with Maggie like they had spoken about. She wholeheartedly believed he deserved to live over her. 

The war with Negan shook her to the core. At the time his face filled her nightmares. He just looked so normal. He looked nice even. Yet he hurt and he hurt and he hurt. 

He killed her Glenn. And then Carl. It wasn't Negans fault although she did blame him. Carl had gotten bit. Y/n held his hand as he died in that tunnel as the home they had built above them fell. She got a letter too - even though she would rather have preferred to have her brother back. In the letter, Carl told her how proud he was of her - how thankful he was to have her as a sister. He told her to protect Judith, their dad and Michonne, who she had recently begun to call momma. 

After Carl's death, y/n shut herself from the world well everyone except her father. For days she would cry until she couldn't anymore. She would scream and scream until her voice was gone. She just didn't understand why it had to be Carl? Why mom? Why Glenn? Why Beth? Why was it never her? The following weeks she found herself wishing it would be her next. She could never bring herself to say it out loud but with any battle, any fight, anything, she wished it would be her. 

So when she lost her father her whole world fell apart. He was her consistent so why did he leave her? She was at the bridge that day. Daryl held her crying frame as Rick set off that final shot blowing him and the walkers off the bridge. Y/n Grimes' father was dead. 

She stayed in Alexandria for a while afterwards. For the sole reason to protect her siblings. Yes, siblings - plural. Somehow through all the bad some good came from it. She just wished her father and Carl could've seen it. RJ Grimes came into this world 9 months later. And he was perfect. For months she would assist in taking care of him as Michonne wasn't doing the greatest without the love of her life. Truth be told neither was y/n she was just better at hiding it. 

Until one night it all became too much. Y/n didn't know how it happened but she found herself balancing on the edge of her window. She wanted to jump - to end it. But she just couldn't will herself to do it. And when Daryl showed up she knew she couldn't. "Hey step away from ta window, alrigh'," The man ordered as he saw her shaking frame rocking back and forth. 

"I-i can't," She sobbed. 

"Ye' ya can. Jus' step back I'll catch ya," Daryl moved closer but paused when she shouted to stop. 

"I can't, Daryl. They're all gone. They're all dead," The tears clouded her eyes. She shut them tightly picturing her families faces wanting so badly to join them. 

"Please jus' step back, y/n. Yer' not alone. I'm here," He croaked the tears floating down his cheeks, "Don't jump." 

"I love you, Daryl." 

"I love ya too, okay? So step away from the window," He watched as she turned her head slightly catching his eyes. 

"I love you but I can't. Tell mom, RJ and Judy I love them as well." 

Suddenly she went to fall forward but Daryl reacted quicker. He gripped her waist pulling her into the room unwilling to release his grasp. "Yer' not leaving me," He told her as she cried into his shoulder, "Yer' cant leave me." Overhearing the chaos, Michonne entered her daughter's room to see the window wide open and the two of them crying. Daryl looked at her. The look telling her all she needed to know. Michonne began to cry herself and joined them on the ground. 

"Y/n?" A small voice called from the door frame. 

"Judith go back to bed, okay?" Michonne told her but Judith continued towards her sister. The girl said nothing as she wiped her sister's tears and held her hand.

It was 5 years later now. After her attempt, she left Alexandria with Daryl in search of her father. She didn't believe he was alive despite everything inside her wanting to. But Daryl did and after what happened they became a lot closer. He was happy she joined him. Even though the act of being out there was gruelling at times he was glad he could look after her. And if something would've happened to her while he was gone he could never have forgiven himself. Understandably Michonne was angry that y/n decided to leave. Y/n was her daughter and Michone her mother. They needed each other but she was willing to let Y/n leave to figure that out. It brought her peace looking for her father. 

The silence was her favourite and as Daryl wasn't much of a talker she got lots of it. They got a dog too, which Daryl cleverly named Dog. Everything was a messed up version of okay but it was still good. Being out there made her find her purpose. She went home a lot more than Daryl did, which pleased her siblings and mother. It was always for a few days never longer as she feared she'd stay forever and she couldn't. As much as Alexandria is good it also drives y/n to a dark place. One she was in that night. She lost so much there. And staring at those four walls drove her insane. It didn't help how Negan was imprisoned there. Just thinking how close he was made her skin crawl. She knew how Rick visited him when he was alive that he believed Carl was right about the killing. That it had to stop. Y/n knew he was right too but she could never bring herself to one admit or two face Negan. 

It felt like a story she read as a child when the Whisperers showed up. Like Negan, they scared her. So when she was told about his escape she only assumed the worst. The Whisperers took so many from them. Like Enid for example. Her story was cut short because of them. The two never really spoke but she understood how she and Carl felt for each other at a time. So ultimately it felt like she lost her final piece of Carl when she died. Y/n wished she had spoken to her when she could've. She wished she could've heard the untold stories they shared. She needed to know about Carl's final years with her. But now she's gone too along with those memories. 

The war with the Whisperers took everything from them. The Kingdom. Hilltop. Alexandria. Along with the lives they lost in the process. With the group separated she found herself protecting Judy and RJ. Michonne had gone. Where she had gone to, y/n had no idea. For a messed up reason, she began to prepare herself for her mother's death before it was even announced. That was until she got the call. She was okay and... apparently so was Rick. 

Disbelief was what hit her first. She couldn't hear his voice nor see his face so how could she know it was true. Michonne didn't know either she couldn't if he was really there, still alive. That night of the call she left. Without hesitation, she kissed RJ and Judith's heads, told them she loved them and told them to tell everyone else that and left. She left in the direction Michonne had told her. 

She left to find her father. And she knew she wouldn't return until she did. "I'm coming, dad."